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#(and this is not me saying that this mindset is good or this is the way it should be- just the way it is in the larger community)
strawbewiemilk · 22 hours
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Ultimate Tips: How to Hide Your E-D Like a Pro and Keep Your Mindset Unbreakable
Alright, listen up. If you’re serious about getting sk!nny—like b0nes popping, b0dy shrinking, can’t even keep your clothes on sk!nny—you’ve got to master the art of hiding it. Because let’s face it, people will try to ruin your progress. They’ll nag you, shove f00d in your face, and act like they care about your “health.” The only thing you need to care about is staying in control. You want to be thin? Then you’ve got to play the game and outsmart every single one of them.
Here’s how to hide your E-D like a f*cking pro and keep your mindset stronger than steel when it comes to avoiding f00d. No excuses, no we@kness.
1. Be the Queen of Excuses: Lie Without Blinking
If you want to avoid e@ting, you better get good at making excuses, and f@st. Here are some easy ones you can cycle through, so no one gets suspicious:
“I already at3.” Say it with confidence, like you just stuffed your face. They won’t question it.
“I feel s!ck.” No one will force f00d on someone who's about to puke. Use this one wisely—especially during family d!nners or social events. Blame it on “st0mach issues.”
“I’m too busy.” Sk!p me@ls by pretending you have too much on your plate (just not f00d). Talk about your crazy schedule, school, work, whatever. People admire hustlers, not e@ters.
“I’ll e@t later.” This is the most basic but works. Keep promising to e@t later, and then just don’t.
2. The Distraction Method: Make It Look Like You’re E@ting
Sometimes you can’t avoid the situation—you’re stuck at a table, surrounded by f00d, and all eyes are on you. Don’t panic. Here’s how to fake your way through it:
Play with your food. Push it around, cut it up into tiny pieces, spread it across your plate. Make it look like you’re e@ting when you’re not.
Chew and spit. If you must put something in your mouth, chew it up and then discreetly spit it into a napkin or go to the bathroom and spit it out there.
Give it away. Offer b!tes to your friends or “accidentally” drop f00d off your plate. The less on your plate, the better. No one notices a slow e@ter when there’s less to e@t.
3. Stay Invisible: E@t Alone, Avoid Me@ls
Here’s the thing—you don’t want people watching you all the time, so learn to disappear during me@l times. E@t alone, say you’re grabbing f00d to-go, or mention you’re on some new d!et that requires you to e@t on your own schedule. If they don’t see you e@t, they can’t make you e@t.
4. Keep Your Mindset Strong: F00d is Your Enemy, Not Your Friend
The hardest part isn’t lying—it’s staying committed. The minute you let your guard down, someone will force-f33d you, and then all your progress is down the drain. Here’s how to keep your mindset strong and avoid f00d at all costs:
Visualize f@t every time you look at f00d. Picture it sticking to your b0dy. Feel it suffocating you. Disgust yourself. The more repulsed you are, the easier it’ll be to say no.
Remind yourself of your goals. Every time you’re tempted to e@t, think about your ultimate goal weight. Imagine what it’ll feel like when you’re finally sk!nny enough, l!ght enough, perfect enough. Is that burger worth it? Hell no.
Mantras are everything. Repeat phrases like “f00d is weakness” or “I don’t need f00d” over and over in your head. Make it your reality. When hunger pangs hit, embrace them. They’re a sign you’re doing it right.
5. Water and Coffee: Your Best Friends
There’s no room for we@kness in this game, and that means no giving in to hung3r. When you feel like you can’t handle it anymore, drown it out with water and coffee. No c@lories, but they fill you up enough to keep going. Plus, coffee is a natural appetite suppressant, and the caffeine will keep you energized. Chug water all day to stay “full” and pretend you’re e@ting.
6. F@st Like Your Life Depends on It (Because It Does)
Intermittent f@sting? Pfft, that’s for amateurs. You need to be f@sting for as long as you can. Try for 24, 48, 72 hours without a single c@lorie, and don’t stop until your st0mach feels like it’s eating itself. When you can f@st for days on end, you know you’re in control. F@sting proves you don’t need f00d, and every second without it means you’re getting closer to your goal.
7. Plan Your "Slips" (But Don’t Actually Slip)
If you absolutely have to e@t in front of people, make it strategic. Stick to low-c@lorie, high-volume foods that won’t screw up your day. A salad with nothing but lettuce and vinegar, some steamed veggies, or broth-based soup with zero substance. When they see you “e@ting,” they’ll back off. Meanwhile, you’re still st@rving and winning.
8. Reward Yourself (But Only When You’ve Earned It)
You don’t deserve f00d—you deserve progress. So when you hit a milestone—whether it’s a day of f@sting, another p0und lost, or avoiding a full me@l—reward yourself. But don’t make the mistake of thinking rewards are f00d. They’re not. They’re anything but f00d. New clothes for your shr!nking frame, a nice bath, a night out where you feel sm@ll and powerful.
9. Avoid "Help" at All Costs
People will try to stop you. They’ll act like they care about your health, but really, they’re just trying to control you. They don’t want you to be sk!nny, because they’re jealous. If anyone starts talking about how you “need help” or “should e@t more,” cut them off. Block them, avoid them, lie to them. You don’t need their pity, and you sure as hell don’t need their “help.”
10. Stay in Control, No Matter What
The only thing you can control is your b0dy. You can’t control the people around you, but you can control what you put in your mouth. You don’t need f00d. You need control. Every time you choose not to e@t, you’re winning. Every time you push through the hung3r, you’re stronger than the day before.
Final Thoughts
Being sk!nny is a choice. And with the right mindset, you can choose not to e@t. The world is full of distractions and people trying to hold you back, but you don’t have to let them. Stick to these tips, and no one will know. They’ll think you’re e@ting just like everyone else. Meanwhile, you’ll be getting sm@ller, stronger, and more powerful every day.
You got this. Stay focused, stay h-ungry (literally), and remember: f00d is the enemy, and hung3r is your power.
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interstellarrisa · 3 days
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𝄞⨾𓍢ִ໋ Quotes to keep in mind 𝄞⨾𓍢ִ໋
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a/n: these are just things that i like to keep in mind whilst manifesting/shifting and is not something you must do! also if you recognize your or someone else's quote/saying, pls dm or comment so that i can give credits!!! (i'm sleepy so sorry for any mistakes or if things don't rlly make sense -o-)
# Nothing needs to be harder than it sounds
It's just as you read. You don't need to make it any harder by adding complicating methods or trying to reprogram your subconscious. Decide, imagine and persist is all there is. You can decide how you'll do the "imagine" part. You can affirm, visualize, script or listen to subliminal. Do whatever you want, it's you manifesting it but I don't really recommend adding in unnecessary things as things can get tangled up and make you feel like you're doing anything except "getting" your manifestation.
# Imagination is the true reality
You've probably heard this like a thousand times but if you just think about it, if imagination is the true reality then why try to get it in the physical one? Since I can just imagine it and have it there and eventually it'll materialize. Also why struggle with it inside your imagination? Just as when some people when they were younger used to have imaginary friends. Just because they didn't see their friends body in the physical reality or that others couldn't see them did not mean they never existed. They did, just in that child's imagination and that's what matters. Having it in your mind and believing in yourself. Affirming this helps me with feeling fulfilled internally.
# Observe don't absorb
I really like this one cause like this is how I usually manifest away bad circumstances. Even if the 3D is right up in my face and is unavoidable I'll keep a idgaf mindset and continue on not taking it in as final or that it can't be changed. Nothing's set in stone, not even reality. If you don't like it just change it. There's no need to take the bad things as final. Know who you are and do your thing! At nighttime sometimes when we fall asleep random thoughts will pop up and pass us by, do you pay attention to every single thought? Do you react to every single one of those or think more deeply about them? Just as we observe those thoughts passing us by we should also observe reality. As a movie we're watching on our TV and if we don't like it we just switch to another one. Not get up and start screaming about how it's bad and that it's not the one we want to watch. Just switch movie.
Thank you for reading, good luck with your manifesting/shifting and bye!!<3
art cred @ CHIARA63710634 @ mors_gn @ riiein (all on twt)
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signanothername · 2 days
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Do you think that your take on nightmare could become a better person without becoming at least fully uncorrupted?
I like your take on uncorrupted nm but I was curious to ask because there’s not really much of Nightmare becoming a better person *whilst* still being corrupted?
Asking the real questions here >:)
Before I start this ramble however, I think it’s important to keep in mind that even while uncorrupted, Nightmare’s still a bitch, cause as I mentioned before, Nightmare wouldn’t suddenly get back to becoming a kind angel with a big heart, and it’s also important to keep in mind that if uncorrupted Nightmare got back to being powerful (even without the corruption in the mix) he’s extremely prone to (and would probably) get back to his old ways
Cause while the corruption has a great impact on Nightmare’s behavior and how he deals with his emotions, the corruption is less of the root cause and more of a participant in Nightmare’s awful behavior
The root cause of Nightmare’s awful behavior is extreme fear born out of trauma
The corruption already did its job a long time ago and shaped Nightmare as a person, it’s still Nightmare himself that’s in full control of his actions, he could at any point in time, make the right or wrong decision
With that in mind, could Nightmare be a better person whilst corrupted?
I’d say it’s kinda complicated, it’s both yes and no at the same time
Could he become a better person whilst corrupted?
Yes
Would he overall become a better person with better behavior? And with everyone?
No, unless there’s an actual driving force to motivate Nightmare to be a better person somewhat (which is absolutely possible ;) ), Nightmare would continue to be a bitch
Could he still get better at treating specific people that he deems worth his time? And only deems worth his time after specific interactions that made him believe so?
Yes
Corrupted or not, Nightmare isn’t incapable of becoming a better person, however there needs to be a reason for Nightmare to be so
Nightmare is a very “treat people how they treat you” kinda person, and while Nightmare is extremely toxic, abusive, and cruel, he’s also someone who stays true to his word and would treat who treats him with kindness the same, and Nightmare doesn’t easily believe in genuine kindness without a goal behind it, and so he’d insist on giving something back instead of accepting kindness for what it is
So if someone shows him genuine kindness, he’d also show genuine kindness (in his own twisted way) in “this is me paying my debt back” way, like, he’d “pay it back” by keeping the AU of the person who showed him kindness under his protection for a period of time, or let go of a debt they owe him, etc
I’ve mentioned before that Nightmare is capable of kindness, and I don’t mean in “paying someone’s kindness back” kinda way, but he can actually be kind in an active way where he thinks of doing something kind to someone else without it being a payback of sorts, and so Nightmare can still make a good decision and actually show it without any strings attached, and the truth is he does show it, very rarely, but he does (in the “a little life update” comic, Killer mentions how Nightmare managed to do one “good thing” at least ;) )
Nightmare just has a mindset that’s like “nobody was ever kind to me when i was the one who’s helpless/ defenseless, so why should I ever show anyone kindness now that I’m in power?” It’s an irrational mindset, but the thing is, no one can debate him on it considering it’s something he keeps to himself
For the outside world, Nightmare does what he does cause he’s a bitch and that’s it, not taking into consideration the fact he acts the way he does as a result of a harmful mindset he developed due to a life changing traumatic experience (obviously cause they don’t know)
And while his kindness is still pretty much apart of him, whenever he has certain thoughts of doing something good/ kind for someone, he just immediately stomps on it and tells himself that he’s being “irrational”, and yes, Nightmare thinks that being kind in a cruel world is “irrational”, he’s the opposite to Dream, who thinks that being kind in a cruel world is what true strength is
And y’know I kinda always talk about how much of a bitch Nightmare can be, but I never talk about the fact that, despite how bitchy he is, Nightmare can actually be sensible
In the right circumstances at the right times, Nightmare can actually be talked to without him being an absolute bitch
And that goes for almost everyone, MTT included
like Killer, Murder and Horror can actually talk to him without Nightmare immediately taking it as a chance to abuse them
But Nightmare is the kinda person that you need to tiptoe around sometimes, cause he has insane mood swings, so MTT have to check whether he’s in a good mood or a bad mood and based on that decide whether it’s a good idea to approach and talk to him or leave him alone and sometimes even go as far as make themselves as small and as unseen as possible as to not catch his attention
Building a good rapport with Nightmare is.. complicated, but possible
But the thing is, even if Nightmare became a better person, it’s better to keep your expectations a bit low, cause even if Nightmare took genuine steps towards becoming a better person i think his capacity for that is limited, like don’t expect him to become like Dream where he’d jump to saving someone in need, but he’d cut back on his abusive and toxic behavior
Basically, Nightmare would become a better person but in a passive rather than an active way where he’d stop hurting people himself, but would let other people do the hurting for him (and i mean in a natural way with how positivity and negativity works and not send someone to hurt another)
For example, let’s say the twins see an innocent someone get beaten in front of them, Dream would immediately jump in to save them, Nightmare wouldn’t, he’d watch with sadistic glee and it would even get a chuckle or two outta him as the poor soul is getting beaten all while he feeds on their misery and once he’d fed himself he’ll just leave (and that’s regardless whether he’s corrupted or not)
It’s cause Nightmare also has the mindset of “the strong devours the weak”, it’s the natural order of things to him, it’s not his fault that the world around him settles for the minimum is it? That’s why he’s obsessed with power and would do anything to obtain it, if Nightmare can ensure that he keeps that power by torturing innocent people then he’ll do it, all cause he’s paralyzed by the terror of the mere thought of becoming weak again
To Nightmare, weakness means a death sentence, and we all know how irrationally afraid Nightmare is of death
Despite his power, knowledge, and 500 year long experiences, Nightmare was and will always be a fearful child who claws at the world around him first so it wouldn’t have the courage to claw back at him (completely dismissing the fact that the world would claw back regardless >:) )
For Nightmare to become a better person he needs to face his greatest enemy, and that enemy was always his own self
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kittyandco · 2 days
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something i've been thinking about for the last few... forever.
shout out to the people who identify so strongly with, and/or find the most comfort in, the worst character(s) of any media that you're into. some of us find connection and similarities with the most terrible figures that canon has to offer. often, you're expected to identify most strongly with the good guy, or aspire to be like them (and not to say you don't, because i do sometimes). but that often doesn't happen for me, and i see more of myself in the evil impacting them.
not because i think i'm a bad person, and not because i aspire to be a flamboyant supervillain, but i often understand their feelings, their mindset, i understand how they got there, because i often went through a lot of the same things they did, even if only emotionally. it often goes beyond sheer appreciation for me (though i often find them more interesting from a narrative sense). and if i were in their world, i might become like them if things were even slightly different. if i didn't try to unlearn the fact that destruction is the only way to get what you want. catharsis is a powerful motivator.
i think it's important to embrace the "they're just like me" perspective when it comes to characters who aren't always "morally sound," and i do unequivocally include the "unsympathetic" ones. we're always going to find fictional characters we admire so long as art keeps being made, and sometimes admiration moves into "i identify with this character because of our background/personality/etc.", and sometimes these characters are the ones you're supposed to hate and root against... intentionally or not, many antagonists are very relatable (though often in unspoken ways).
none of this is to say that your taste in favorite characters means anything about you as a person, because it doesn't. how you treat others says all it needs to say about you as a person. i've seen this first-hand: people being surprised that i am friendly and compassionate (i try my best!) simply because i have a deep love for fictional guys who commit atrocities. yes, my worldly experiences, and the way i view them, as well as my fantastic taste draws me to fictional bad guys, but at the end of the day, i strive to be the best i can be every day. i aim to exude the kindness that i didn't always get when i practically begged for it. on the other hand, you could like the most sugary sweet, do-good fictional characters ever created (and good for you! no shame here!) and still be a nightmare to those around you.
i don't like the idea that you CANNOT like these characters, or identify with them, without condoning some sort of evil or being a bad person. they are people (or robots, or monsters, or whatever they are) who did bad things, whatever their reasons -- here's no inherence about it, and i think that belief has helped me in trying to understand them. i try to practice this with everyone i encounter. and along the way, i actually find that we aren't so different
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musiccutiepatooty · 4 hours
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Logan Howlett Love Languages
Here's my thoughts on the love languages in regards to Logan
Word Count: 1.5k
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I am a firm believer that every love language is given and received in some capacity in relationships. With Logan it is absolutely no different. In order form least to greatest, in my opinion, Logan's love languages are: gift giving, words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, and physical touch.
Gift giving:
I believe that Logan loves to receives gifts from you… eventually. When you first gave him a gift (before you all had started dating) he was very hesitant to accept it. You were being nice to him and that usually ended poorly for the people being nice to him. He just told you to keep it and left you standing in your tracks. He was surprised to later find a bag sitting on his doorstep. He begrudgingly took the gift inside, but didn’t open it for a couple of days. When he finally opened the gift bag, it revealed a small key chain with an 'L' on it. You had seen him in the hall with two keys in his hand. Both of them were separate from each other.
When you saw him pull out his mail key then shove it back into his pocket in favor of his house key you stopped. "How do you keep track of them? It two separate keys."
"It's just two keys," he said quizzically. The look you gave him was blank for a second and then you shook your head, going into your house with a small smile.
When he saw the key chain and remembered the front porch interaction, he felt a pang of endearment in his chest.
Words of affirmation:
It was going to be a rough day for Logan. He woke up with the voices in his head being stronger than his ability to ignore them. All of his failures were on the forefront of him mind and he had only been awake for ten minutes.
You rolled toward him, stretching your arm around his midsection and kissing the back of his shoulder. He felt you murmur something against his back but it didn’t register. "What'd ya say, baby?"
"I said 'how's my beautifully incredible husband doing this morning?'" This caused a small smile to form on Logan's lips and his brain to be turn down a notch.
Throughout the day, it was like you knew that he was in his head. You were showering his with verbal praise.  "You're treat me so well, honey." "I'm so lucky to have you." "You're such a good friend." It was helping hush his thoughts.
The one that silenced his brain completely came when y'all were sitting on your couch, you reading a book with your feet in Logan's lap and him watching tv absentmindedly stroking your legs. You gently tapped him with your foot until he was looking at you. He was met with your smiling face as when he turned his head. "You know you're doing really well and I'm proud of you."
He stared at you long after you went back to reading your book. When he has a hard day, hearing you just be kind to him calms him down. And the fact that you love him despite his flaws lets him know your words are true.
Quality time:
Once he got past the "I'm not good for you. Stay away from me" mindset, I firmly believe that Logan will make any excuse just to be around you. And I mean like you're taking a shower and he's in there. Not in the shower. He is just sitting on the toilet so that he can talk to you.
The knock on the door wasn't heard over your music until it got a little bit more persistent. You gave a quick "yes" to come in and he gingerly peeks his head in the door, "can I come in?" you pop your head around the edge of the shower curtain and gave a small smile and nod. "Come on in, baby."
You expected Logan to start taking articles of clothing off and join you in the shower, so it was a surprise when he lowered the toilet lid and sat down on it, "You're not getting in?" You cocked an eyebrow at him.
"I already showered this morning. And you're shaving your legs I know you need some room for that," he leaned back against the toilet and spread his legs out. "Just wanted to talk to you."
You closed the shower curtain and chuckled as Logan began to rattle off questions to you.
...
He is also a sucker for sitting beside you doing nothing. You can both be doing your own thing and he can enjoy just being in your presence. Like you're both sitting with the TV on, a show that you and Logan have started together but never seem to pay attention to, and you've both ended up scrolling on your phones. You remove your feet from Logan's lap and make a move to stand up, making him perk up. "Where ya going?"
"Just going to pee and then getting a snack." you stood fully and kissed his head. "Do you want something?"
"Just for you to make it quick," He settled back into the couch, looking up at you, satisfied that you wouldn't be gone long, "wouldn't want you to miss too much of the show."
"If I didn't know any better, it seems like you're gonna miss me." "You could say that."
Acts of service:
Logan's boss had been on him about production. You had been working 15 hour days. You listened to his spiel at breakfast and he listened to yours. After breakfast you handed Logan his lunch box. You mentioned you were able to come home early today and would be crashing as you had to prepare for another early morning the next day. He promised he'd be quiet when he got home and gave you a kiss as you both headed out of the door.
As promised, he was damn near silent when he entered your home. The first thing he noticed was that every light was off aside from the one above the stove and the light in your shared bedroom. The light above the stove illuminated a lidded pot. Opening the lid, his favorite entrée was revealed. Initially he was thankful for the meal because he was starving, even after his huge lunch that you so graciously packed for him. (I swear this man has a huge appetite). His gratefulness was increased ten fold when he remembered that you were not a fan of his favorite dish, though you made it so well.
On the lid in his hands, he noticed a post-it note: 'Sides are in the oven. You don’t have to produce anything tonight. ♥"
Even dead tired you still took the time to make him a meal that you knew he would enjoy. Logan felt his shoulders relax and his heart warm.
Physical touch:
Sounds cliché but he has had so much violence in his life that when it comes to your gentle hands… Lord does he just melt. From scratching his scalp while you guys are lying down to you wrapping your arm around his while you're walking to placing your head on his shoulder while you're sitting and watching tv.
Logan had explained to you that he was a mutant, the Wolverine, and that he had claws. He gave you the whole rundown of Stryker's experiments and how that gave his claws and skeleton a metal coating. He told you all about his war escapades and his time with the X-Men. At the end of his speech, he revealed his claws.
You were silent for a moment and looked at his hands. You held out your hand and looked at Logan, asking for permission to touch him. He gave a small nod and you raised your hands to his, dragging your fingertips along the topside of the claws. You poked the end gently, like an idiot, and felt the sharp sting. Logan just looked at you and cocked his eyebrow with a 'really?' expression. You placed your finger in your mouth to collect the blood droplet.
You nodded for a moment and then your eyebrows shot up, "Is that why you're so fucking heavy when you lay on me?!"
All Logan could do was chuckle as he retracted his claws and kiss you. But he noticed from that point forward, you made extra efforts to touch and hold his hands.
When you are sitting and watching TV, you're absentmindedly stroking over his knuckles. Grocery shopping, your hand is draped on top of his on the cart. Making dinner together, you're taking an extra long time to grab the spoon from him, making sure your hands connect. He is in love with it. Who would have thunk it; Mr. Big Bad Logan Howlett, the Wolverine, is an AVID hand holder.
You distinctly remember the time you both were making dinner and he hand-fed you a pepper from your stir fry. You quickly chomped down on the pepper and smiled at him grabbing his hand and placing a kiss on his knuckles. You could see his brain short circuiting as his face turned a deep red.
Divider Credit: @bunnysrph I'm gonna figure out how I want to set these up because I plan to write more Logan stuff. Pls leave me feedback! I haven't actually written anything in like two years so I'm a bit rusty. Anyways... thanks for reading!!
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reinventinglia · 2 days
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seeking your higher self in 2024
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hello, angels ⭑.ᐟ today we'll be taking the first step to our personal journey to be our higher self and achieve our dream life. an important reminder is that it is never too late to change and to allow yourself to be. if you are reading this and you feel like it is too late or that you're so far behind everyone else, or thinking "can i even do it?", take a deep breath, because you can! if this is your case, i highly recommend watching this incredible bevy smith ted talk, which is a major inspiration for this post.
i talk (or rather write) a lot, just so you know.
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it is what you make it
you need to understand your power. life is all about perspective, about what you put into the world and what you'll receive in exchange. as much as i believe the "it is what it is" mindset is important so you can come to terms with your own reality (there's no moving forward if you can't accept where you are), this is just as important. this is my own interpretation of this mindset, but i'd love to hear yours as well!
many things in life are out of control, but some—and a lot of them—you can control. you can choose your own mindset and the energy and intention you're letting out to the world, as well as how you think about yourself and whether or not you believe you're worthy of good things. trust me, you can't move forward and achieve your higher self if you don't believe you're worth it! you need to work on your self-concept in order to be yourself, because otherwise being yourself means being worthless, or whatever it is you repeat to yourself.
you are in control of your life.
i'm not talking about specific situations that unfortunately you can't control, and i'm also not saying you deserve what you're getting, because no! no one deserves bad things happening to them, but unfortunately they do happen regardless of what we think or believe in—even people who you believe have the perfect life have to go through rough times.
still, in the end, you need to take charge. you might not be responsible for what happens to you, but you can control how you react to it. it won't be necessarily easy or comfortable, but it needs to be done. even a small step can make the difference as long as you're moving forward.
one thing you'll need to be working on for the entirety of this journey is your self-concept—there are a lot of things to talk about it, but for now focus on understanding how you view yourself. in order to do so, here are some prompts that can help you with it:
⭑ how do you currently perceive yourself?
⭑ what is one negative self-belied you hold? how can you challenge it?
⭑ when was a time you doubted yourself? why did that happen?
⭑ how is your self-talk and how does it impact you?
⭑ what is a part of yourself you're critical of? why?
⭑ what is a part of yourself you're proud of? why?
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find your motivation
i'm currently in my early 20s, which is a strange period in life. of course i've also thought my teenage years were strange, but being in your 20s is different (maybe in ten years i'll say the same thing about being in my 30s). it's not all about comparing dating or being popular or getting the best grades or whatever, now the people i'm surrounded by are having jobs, or being the perfect university student, or living overseas to pursue their professional athlete career, or even doing scientific research with influential people! and they're all my age.
it's very intimidating to realize that age doesn't mean anything and that you can do anything regardless of being younger or older. but it's also reassuring, because it allowed me to understand that we all have our own pace—which means that you're not behind just because you think you are; in the end, your time will come. the time where you'll be satisfied, happy, and thrilled to live your life because it's finally what you wanted! but for that to happen, you have to do the work.
to start seeking your authentic self and live as your higher self, you need to do the work. the first thing is looking inside and realizing your reasons.
of course being authentic itself is a motivation, because who wants to live in the shade of how other people want you to be? putting on a mask everyday is exhausting and you can't live like that.
but this is not easy. it is an uncomfortable, hard, and hurting journey, but it leads you to healing, to real happiness. this is exactly why you need to have your motives, because you need a strong foundation so you won't give up. i say this because i have given up a few times, which is exactly why i might have started this journey at the age of nineteen, but i only properly started it this year, at the age of twenty-one—two years after i convinced myself i'd do it.
here is a journal prompt that might help you get to the source of your motivation:
⭑ what are your core reasons for wanting to change?
list your emotional, personal, or practical reasons for pursuing this journey. anything can be a motive, really. maybe you just don't resonate with your life, or you want to reinvent yourself. whatever it is, as long as it comes from a place of authenticity and truth, it will help you during this journey. embrace whatever it is that's motivating you and allow it to guide you to a life that resonate with your true self! the path may be challenging, but it's always worth it.
after thinking about why you want to change, work on these prompts to understand exactly what you want to change:
⭑ if you could see your life in five years, where do you want to be?
⭑ what do you look forward to most in the future?
⭑ what area of your life do you want to improve the most? list five things you can do in order to achieve that
⭑ make a list of how your life would be if you could be and do anything in the world
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being authentic
a great part of becoming your higher self means understand your authentic self. now, what does it truly mean to be authentic? of course we all know the definition: being true to yourself, to your values, and to your beliefs, even when others may disagree. but let's take one step further and ask yourself: what makes you you?
i wouldn't be surprised if many of you came up to me and said that you actually don't know the answer to that question. most of us have become used to suppressing your true selves and the best parts of who we are so we can fit in other people's expectations. but it's not okay to make yourself smaller just so someone else can feel better. if you recognize someone in your life who falls into this category, it's time to walk away! trust me, you'll be better off without that kind of energy surrounding you. instead, focus on people who uplift and inspire you to be authentic.
being yourself is a blessing, and for this i'll be quoting shakespeare: “to thine own self be true”. this means not worrying about pleasing other people and remaining true to who you are—therefore, being authentic, which is the ultimate goal. as bevy smith so beautifully said in her ted talk, “nobody can be you but you, so you might as well show up and show out”. make the most of your individuality and celebrate it!
⭑ is there a difference between how you act in public and how you act when you're alone? if yes, why do you think so and do you believe one act is more authentic than the other?
⭑ if you could be like anyone in the world, who would it be and why?
⭑ if you fully believed you're worthy and enough as you are, how would you be/act?
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get to know who you are
knowing yourself is a lifelong journey because we're constantly changing and evolving, and you can't truly be you if you don't know yourself—quite obvious, right? yet, for so many people (and trust me, i've been there before), this isn't easy.
often, it's because they don't actively spend time with themselves, which may sound ridiculous at first, because logically we're always with ourselves, but simply existing isn't enough to know yourself. to truly understand who you really are, you need to engage in self-reflection, which is why i've been leaving journal prompts for each section of this post—that's truly one of the best tools to connect with yourself.
with that being said, you need to take some personal time for and with yourself. some people struggle to even say their favorite movie, or their favorite color, or something as basic as their favorite food or drink. the truth is, if you don't know the basics, knowing your deeper complexities, which is vital to understand who you are, will become challenging. so, take the time to ask yourself some questions! reflect on the things you might easily know about your close friends or family but might not be able to answer if they ask you.
⭑ every day before you sleep, make a list of ten things you like. it can be a movie, a color, a piece of clothing, or products. anything
⭑ if you could describe yourself in three words, what words would you choose?
⭑ describe two significant events in your life you believe have shaped you into who you are today
⭑ what are your beliefs and your personal values? list at least five
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putting yourself out there
another important aspect of knowing yourself includes putting yourself out there. as someone who has struggled with social anxiety for a long time—and still does—i can tell you this: letting your fears control you won't do you any good. stepping outside your comfort zone is essential for growth, even if it means taking a small step—after all small steps will still lead you to where you want to be, as long you're moving forward.
make an effort to go out. you'll learn a lot about yourself by visiting a new park or attending an event you've never attended before. if you have the means, consider traveling as well! the key is getting to a fresh environment where you won't have to mold yourself into whatever labels people have put on you. you can also start a new activity, such as taking a poetry class, exploring a new sport, or joining a club. each experience is an opportunity for self-discovery.
even if you struggle with social interactions, which i totally understand, meeting new people is also a very interesting way to learn more about yourself. it means you'll be exposed to different perspectives, which can reveal things you've never realized before.
you might meet someone with views so different from yours that you can't help but wish you never fall into that mindset, but you can also meet someone whose perspective resonates with you, and you'll discover qualities you aspire to embody. each interaction offers you a chance for growth and a deeper self-understanding, which is, again, essential!
this doesn't mean you have to mold yourself to be like that person—by all means, don't! you don't have to be exactly like someone else in order to achieve your dream life. however, you're allowed to be inspired by them. most of our beliefs and values come from experiences we've had with other people—it can be something as simple as believing that family comes first. you can learn a lot about your own values and who you are deep down by interacting with other people.
⭑ what three things you admire in your loved ones?
⭑ how have your friends impact your beliefs?
⭑ what beliefs do you share with your loved ones?
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take a note, give a note
as i mentioned earlier, many people who are my age are making extraordinary accomplishments—including friends of mine—and it has brought out a lot of different feelings within me. insecurity was one of them, because i often questioned to myself: if people my age are able to do all of these amazing things, why am i not doing it? what's preventing me from being as accomplished as they are?
the truth is, we don't have to be like everyone else. i've said this before, but it's important to understand that having different trajectories in life is included in not being like everyone else. just because someone your age is achieving a certain goal doesn't mean you should be doing the same thing—maybe that's not even what you want. understand and accept that you have your own path.
for example, i have no interest in being an athlete or to engage in as many academic activities as some of them are. and even if i did want those things, it's important to remember that what's meant for me will come in due time; maybe this just isn't the moment yet. this doesn't mean that i'm behind, it simply means i have my own pace. i'll continue to work towards my goals, because giving up and letting the universe do absolutely everything is not something i believe in, but i don't have to exhaust myself just because i'm not achieving everything i want right now.
now, with all that being said, implement a new ritual in your life. understand that each person has its own journey to fulfill and that everything you want and are meant to have will come in due time doesn't mean that you'll get over it easily. i understand that it can be hard—which is why we seriously need to work on our issues with believing everything has to happen in this exact moment.
the take a note, give a note ritual is supposed to help you with it, and i believe is a simple and effective way to do so.
the premise of it is: when you see someone having what you want, or what you think you want, instead of letting feelings of envy or jealousy take control, take charge of those feelings instead. ask yourself: is this what i really want? do i actually want what to be where that person is? regardless of the answer, as long as you're honest and true to your feelings, tell yourself this: “their wins have nothing to do with my worthiness.”
then, give a note. the note is nothing more than a sincere "congratulations". you can comment on their post, message them, or even call them, just don't let your previous envy and jealousy take control. allow yourself to be genuinely happy for others without having to diminish their achievements. as bevy smith said in her ted talk, “when you remove malice from your heart, not only do you feel better, you look better.”
don't punish yourself if it doesn't come naturally to you. unfortunately, believe it or not, it does happen to some people, especially those who were raised in an environment filled with negativity and competitiveness. instead, adopt new habits in your daily life to get rid of it, such as focusing on the good aspects of your life and what you're grateful for (i highly suggest doing a list of things you're grateful for each day before sleeping), practice mindfulness, and go to therapy or talk to someone about it.
⭑ how do you handle envy/jealousy?
⭑ what are three self-defeating thoughts that show up whenever you feel envy/jealousy?
⭑ how can you overcome negative thoughts when you feel envy/jealousy?
⭑ remember a recent time when you felt envy/jealous of someone and why. how did you handle it? what did you do to overcome that feeling?
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thank you so much for reading, and i wish you good luck and a great life! i talk a lot, but i find each of these topics very important. if you want to talk, send me an ask or message me if you can.
xoxo, lia ✮
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nqueso-emergency · 3 days
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The way he pulled over on the side of the road and put his hazards on like ‘jfc alright fine let’s say some clearly unrehearsed very general words before I forget.’ Lmao I DO think the intent was good and I DO think he means it, I just also think fans are making much more of it than it was.
Oh he definitely means it and is genuine.
I feel like Oliver is in the mindset of Noel Fisher. I can't remember the exact quote but he says something about how he doesn't play a queer character, he plays a character who just happens to be queer.
Idk if that makes sense but it does to me
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ckret2 · 1 hour
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What's your stance on Ford as a person? Honestly, I believe that for thr majority of canon he is a bad person. But I believe he grew. Still not great though XD
(Love him anyways obvs)
I disagree entirely! I think he's equally as good a person as any of the other main cast.*
*Except Mabel, who, as we all know, is always right about everything.**
(**This is a lighthearted joke. For the love of god, I don't want Mabel discourse in my inbox.)
His biggest sins in the show:
After telling his brother that he was thinking about changing heir shared life plans, and then discovering that his brother had gone to the high school that night for no good reason and gone to the science fair for no good reason and messed around near Ford's science project for no good reason and broke it and didn't tell Ford about it... Ford believed Stan did it intentionally and held a grudge for it. You know what, it WOULD be pretty damn hard to believe it was an accident.
Hilariously ill-equipped to cope with Fiddleford's mental health. A guy who responds to "I have anxiety" with "have you tried yoga, it helps me" isn't a bad person, he's clueless. "Character cheerfully enacts a bad idea while a loved one in the background goes NO PLEASE DON'T DO THAT" describes half the episodes of Gravity Falls.
Was successfully manipulated by a professional manipulator into believing his best friend wished him ill. Man, what a terrible person Ford is for being manipulated by a manipulator and saying cruel things to somebody he'd been genuinely convinced was trying to harm him.
??? Didn't say thanks to a guy he was still mad at after the guy fixed a problem he himself had caused. This is a solitary example of stubborn bad etiquette, jesus christ. There's half a dozen different reasons why it makes perfect sense Ford wasn't in the right mindset to feel grateful, this is not something worth indicting his entire character over.
He had high ambitions, which everyone seems to lambast him for, but high ambitions that wouldn't have required doing anybody harm! (Until the professional manipulator started manipulating him into harming the people around him, but we are going to demonstrate some reading comprehension and not blame Ford's underlying morality as a person for things he never would've done if not for Bill's bullying, con artistry, and outright lies.) Like, what is it that he wanted to do with his life? Use his talents to get rich and famous? Shit, that's exactly what Stan wanted to do with his life. It's what Dipper fantasizes about doing with his life. Even Mabel, who thinks about her long-term future the least, dreams big with her art & performances and is already making big money off cheap-ass commissions. What terrible people they all are, for—let me check my notes here—uhhh... unrealistically fantasizing about achieving success in life by doing the things they're good at.
When their dad accuses Stan of lying as a child, Ford puts his entire summer on the line to defend Stan even though he knows Stan is a habitual liar and has no reason to believe Stan is telling the truth this time.
When his new college roommate he barely even knows gets laughed at for proposing an outlandish scientific theory, his first emotion is outrage at this injustice and he drops everything to convince his already-despondent roommate that he was right and help him prove it beyond a shadow of a doubt.
When he moves to a new town, he tries again and again to befriend his new neighbors, and fails not because he's rude or a jerk, but because he's awkward as hell, tells terrible jokes, and sucks at identifying phoenixes.
When Fiddleford gets hurt around him, he cares about it, feels guilty about putting him in that position, doesn't want it to happen again, and tries his best to help even though he's bad at helping.
When he gets kidnapped by a weird holiday folklore creature, he concludes without even thinking about it that he's now in charge of protecting and rescuing the kidnapped kids. Yeah, then he immediately starts hollering at the folklore creature for trying to impose his religious beliefs on Ford and the kids—but like, Ford was right tho, he just had bad timing.
When he discovers that the Northwest family committed atrocities against their poorer neighbors a century ago, his first instinct is to march up to their house, find the first Northwest he can locate, and give them a piece of his mind for it. Like, this won't even FIX anything. He's just THAT OUTRAGED over the injustice.
When he sees what he thinks is a fortune telling fraud conning the people, he attempts to debunk her because he's mad to see someone cheating other people with lies—and when he can't debunk her, he just leaves her alone rather than harass her about it. Typically, if assholes think somebody's doing something wrong but don't have any proof of it and fail to get proof when they look, they decide they're right anyway and keep giving that person shit. Ford doesn't give her shit. That's the opposite of an asshole move.
When he discovers his Portal To Knowledge (And Fame & Fortune) is actually a Portal To Doom (But Still Possibly Fame & Fortune, Maybe Even Godly Power), he isn't tempted for a second to keep working on it anyway. There is no moment where Bill manages to tempt him. No matter what Bill offers, no matter how long Bill offers, never, at ANY point, does Ford have a SECOND of "but what if I did make a deal with the devil?" the way so many heroes in similar situations often do.
You ever notice that? So often moral moments in the show are presented as choices the characters make. Will or won't Dipper give Bill a "puppet" in exchange for knowledge. Will or won't Stan fight a pterodactyl to protect Mabel's pig. Will or won't Mabel hand Bipper the journal. Ford is never given a "will or won't he" moment over Bill's threats, offers of friendship, or offers of infinite power—he steamrolls straight past them without a second of consideration—because, to him, the selfish, cowardly, easy choice ISN'T EVEN AN OPTION. He doesn't even SEE it as making a choice because the possibility of doing the wrong thing is invisible. A character who wavers first before turning Bill down would look more noble for "overcoming" temptation—it's harder to notice just how much stronger Ford's moral compass must be to not even feel temptation in the first place.
Greed and pride never tempt him to join Bill's side. Exhaustion, despair, and fear never tempt him to give up. He bears up under weeks, possibly months of extreme sleep deprivation, physical torture, psychological torture, emotional torture, threats of death, threats of brainwashing, threats to his family. He doesn't hold up so that he can pat himself on the back for being a hero—if that was all it was he would've gone "screw it, this isn't worth it and nobody would know I'm the one who gave up" a week in—he does it because he simply knows it must be done and because he's so isolated (half because of Bill's influence!) that he believes he's the one who must do it, all alone.
Thinking he has to do it by himself isn't egotism or pride; it's helplessness. He thinks no one else stands a chance. He thinks he's alone.
And, when he discovers his Portal To Knowledge is a Portal To Doom, he immediately feels guilty. No trying to deny the situation to protect his ego. No shuffling the blame off to someone else. No "maybe the apocalypse could have a silver lining!" No locking the door and trying to ignore the problem. He blames himself for being fooled—he IMMEDIATELY takes full responsibility for his actions—and he CONTINUES to take responsibility FOR THE NEXT THIRTY YEARS.
He takes more responsibility than is even warranted—he treats himself like he's an idiot for believing in an APPARENT GOD who's been practicing manipulating humans for thousands of years and who had never given Ford reason to believe the portal was anything but what Bill said it was. He beats himself up to no end every single time his past with Bill comes up. He even keeps beating himself up thirty years later when he's shoving warning notes to future readers in Bill's evil unkillable book!
When he falls into the multiverse, he dedicates his entire life NOT to finding a way to rescue himself, but to finding a way to permanently stop the CHAOS GOD who's still at the threshold of destroying Ford's world and countless others. He makes himself a hated criminal in the process, just to stop Bill. He's ready to spend the rest of his life trying to protect a world he doesn't think he'll ever see again. He does it because, as he sees it, somebody has to stand in between the children and the obnoxious folklore cryptid menacing them, and he's the only adult in this damn cave with the skills and knowledge for the job.
When he gets home, he doesn't tell his family about Bill and his quest because he's afraid that doing so will get them involved and endanger them too—and because he's too deeply ashamed of himself and his mistakes to stand the thought of his family knowing about the horrible things he's done (AGAIN, WHILE BEING MANIPULATED BY THE GOD OF MANIPULATION).
He loves his great-niece and great-nephew the second he lays eyes on them; he nevertheless tries to steer away from them to keep them safe from Bill; and yet he caves to the very first temptation to emotionally bond with his great-nephew he gets, because in spite of his noble "keep them safe" intentions, he wants so so badly to be close to his family.
As pissed as he still is at Stan and even though neither of them can look at each other without hissing like cats, he still makes an attempt to start bridging their divide by inviting him to play DD&MD.
When the apocalypse happens, he immediately puts his life on the line to try to kill Bill.
And when he's captured, isn't fazed for a second by Bill's offers or threats... until his family is threatened. The exact thing he'd been trying to avoid & prevent from the very start.
And when he's reunited with Fiddleford, his immediate reaction is to point out that Fiddleford's well within his rights to hate him—which isn't a new revelation, it's not like Ford had to do any soul-searching to reach this conclusion, he'd concluded that 30 years ago the instant he realized Bill had played him and that he'd been lied to about Fiddleford.
And then he tries to kill Bill again.
And then he's ready to sacrifice his own life to kill Bill—and the only reason he doesn't is because he has a metal plate preventing him from making the sacrifice... but, Stan doesn't have a plate. If Ford hadn't had the metal plate, he would have gladly done the exact same thing Stan did—and he would have thought it was right for him and only him to make that sacrifice, because it's VERY clear he feels (and has felt from the start) that this is all his fault and he's obligated to fix it.
Over and over and over, these are Ford's two defining character traits: getting so pissed off at injustice that his common sense shuts off and he goes into terminator mode until he's righted this wrong as best he can, even when he can't actually do anything about it; and feeling like he's Atlas, weighed down with the full responsibility of fixing everything he's done wrong and made to believe that, for everyone else's sake, he has to do it all alone. Even when doing so puts himself in harm's way, even when he has to put his entire life on hold for it, even if it might cost him his life. Scrape off his awkward social skills, his loneliness, his nerdiness, his endless curiosity, his zealous love of the strange, his starry ambitions, his yearning for recognition and success—scrape his personality down to the bone and that's what you're left with. A man who believes in defending the exploited so strongly that it makes him a little stupid.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and assume that you probably don't think Stan's fundamentally a bad person, and that you probably think that isn't even worth questioning. Stan's made a whole career out of swindling people, conning them out of as much money as he possibly can, stealing, lying, committing a long list of goofily-named crimes, and attempting douchy pick-up artistry on women; and to cap it all off, he held the safety of the entire universe hostage to demand a goddamn "thank you." Don't send me any "But he had reasons—" "But it was only to—" I don't need it, I don't want the essay, I'm not arguing that Stan's a bad guy, it's fine.
But. You can look at Stan's moments of cruelty and unkindness, his uncharitable thoughts, his character flaws, and think, "that doesn't define him. He's more than his cruelest moments and worst mistakes. He's imperfect, but he cares so much and his heart's in the right place, and beneath all the flaws his core is good."
And if you can't do the same for Ford, it's not because he's a worse person. It's because we got two seasons with Stan and five and a half episodes with Ford—and while we saw Stan yearning to fish with the kids or encouraging Mabel to whoop Pacifica's butt at minigolf or crying over a black and white period drama or punching zombies to save his family, we only saw Ford at the worst moments in his life and under the stress of a prolonged apocalyptic crisis—and, it so happens, all the moments he was pissed at the guy we spent two seasons learning to love.
Ford's got moments of cruelty and unkindness, uncharitable thoughts, and character flaws. But, at his core, he's a good person, and he always has been, and he still is.
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MegOp is making me crazy as usual, but now I have some new, specific inspiration!
So it started with @that-fanperson-meg saying this under a post I made about the Transformers account posting a TFO MegOp edit.
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I recognized the name of the song but had never actually listened to it, and hooooo boy, it activated something in the part of my brain that thinks about MegOp... So, I'm listening to this song, and I have the clearest vision that it's about Megatron's mindset/thoughts during his mental health's lowest point in the worst depths of the war. (fair warning, my analysis/brainrot is based on my own personal continuity/au, so there are some minor references to that, but it's all fairly standard, and I explain it a bit, so just go with it, and you shouldn't be confused.) Ok, preamble over. Time for the lyrical analysis:
I hope that our few remaining friends Give up on trying to save us I hope we come up with a failsafe plot To piss off the dumb few that forgave us I hope the fences we mended Fall down beneath their own weight And I hope we hang on past the last exit I hope it's already too late
Megatron assumes that Optimus is in just as bad of a place as he is. He's wrong, of course, OP certainly isn't enjoying himself, but he has an actual support system that he feels comfortable leaning on. On the other hand, Soundwave is the only thing even approaching a friend for Megatron (and he is waaay too closed off at this point to admit it). Starscream is a backstabbing, power-hungry sycophant with his own heap of baggage (I really gotta make a post about my version of all that sometime); Shockwave is purely logic-driven as usual, only interested in advancing the Cybertronian race via the Decepticon cause. By this time, Megatron feels like both sides are too deep into the war to even consider peace. He honestly can't fathom it.
And I hope the junkyard a few blocks from here Someday burns down And I hope the rising black smoke carries me far away And I never come back to this town again in my life
Megatron has always wanted to escape the path that was decided for him. But now, after losing what he and Orion had and the resulting fallout, he won't go quietly into the night, not before causing some irreparable damage first. And the war will do just that. He hopes the destruction the great war causes keeps pushing him forward, even out beyond Cybertron. At least then, he won't ever need to face the past and who he used to be. He couldn't recognize himself now if he tried, so he doesn't even try.
I hope I lie And tell everyone you were a good wife And I hope you die I hope we both die
Even though it's clear to him that they hate each other and are not good for each other, Megatron still has some form of loyalty to what he and Orion had. If somehow, someday, someone were to ask him about them, he wouldn’t tell them about all their problems, but instead that they were good together. Maybe if this hypothetical future version of Megatron doesn't mention all the pain their split caused, then maybe it was a little less real. He knows that as long as Optimus is around, he won't be able to stop fighting; he's just too hurt and angry. He wishes Optimus would just die, that they both would.
I hope I cut myself shaving tomorrow I hope it bleeds all day long Our friends say it's darkest before the sun rises We're pretty sure they're all wrong I hope it stays dark forever I hope the worst isn't over And I hope you blink before I do And I hope I never get sober
Soundwave, the only even semi-positive influence on him right now, is the one telling Megatron it's darkest before the sun rises. Soundwave is a true believer in the original cause of the Decepticons, probably the last one in High Command; everyone else is either using the cause as a means to take out their pain (Megatron and Starscream) or as a means to an end (Shockwave). Megatron is finding it harder and harder to believe Soundwave with each passing day, and yet again assumes Optimus is doing the same. He's starting to hope it never ends. He's comfortable with it now; the war fills the hole that his old life left in him. All he really knows is that he can't bring himself to yield to Optimus and doesn't think he ever will. If he did, he wouldn't know what to do with himself.
And I hope when you think of me years down the line You can't find one good thing to say And I'd hope that if I found the strength to walk out You'd stay the hell out of my way
Megatron is hoping that Optimus is suffering too, since he is, and doesn’t want him to feel anything positive through this since he cannot. But at the same time, he’s trying so hard to be a bastard so that it won’t hurt as much. He does still want to speak well of their past if he gets the chance, so some loyalty or fondness remains deep down. If there were good times to look back on, there would be sadness that those times are over. If Optimus has nothing good to say about him, all he would feel is relief that that part of their lives is over.
I am drowning There is no sign of land You are coming down with me Hand in unlovable hand And I hope you die I hope we both die
Megatron can't see any way out of where he's gotten them. To him, there's no path to peace anymore. The only solace Megatron can find is the hope that Optimus falls with him. Even now, the two of their fates must be interlocked, as if it were a universal constant to him - simple common sense. He just wants it to be over, even as he can't bring himself to stop.
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ancha-aus · 9 hours
Text
RealAgeAU Drabble - Training
I am back with this AU :D @spotaus
This drabble is a lot earlier than the last few drabbles. shortly after Nightmare's first birthday, and kidnapping.
The gang decides they should really start to learn more about their new powers :3
First Drabble Prev Drabble Next Drabble
*------------------------*
Cross nods as he crosses his arms “You guys ready?”
Dust looks very unhappy to be up already, Horror is next to him trying to get him to stand up. Killer just grins and salutes “Yes sir!” and he throws in a wink.
Cross ignores the obvious flirt as he tells his own body to cool it. Not the time nor place.
Cross takes a deep breath and continues on with what he was saying “Good! It is time we do something which we should have done long ago.”
Killer raises a hand “Make out more?”
Dust just keeps laying in the dirt. Not making a single move to get up “We already do that now.”
Killer nods “We should still do it more.”
Cross sputters and glares “Training! We need to train!” They had tugged Nightmare in for a nap in a nice warm little nest in a sunny spot nearby them. He is still sound asleep and hopefully he will sleep right through this all.
Cross has high hopes for that as Nightmare seemed to hardly wake up whenever they made noise.
Cross glares at the two on the ground “I am serious!”
Horror chuckles and stands by his side “Calm Cookie.” And he rubs his shoulder and Cross feels part of him melt as Horror smiles at him. God what did he do to deserve them all?
Cross feels reassured and turns back to Killer and Dust his two more unmotivated mates, oooh he is still not over the fact he can call them his mates now! “I am serious! We need to practise our new powers!” especially with Nightmare suddenly getting new powers as well. They need to be prepared.
If… if anything like that kidnapping happens again… Cross had been so lucky his powers just… worked with him instead of doing the normal uncontrollable flickering in and out of view. They need to practise this and work on it! They need to be ready!
Killer sighs as he leans on his hand “How do we plan to do that exactly? I don’t have something that we can just work with without going around town and telling lies and hoping it doesn’t backfire. And Dusty still shocks us when he gets overcharged.”
Dust just points at Killer as if to say ‘what he said.’
Horror hums “May be hard… but we need to practise and learn. Having the powers and magic won’t be useful until we can control them and know their limits.”
Cross nods “We can’t count on powers we can’t control. Even if we can’t control it we need to at least understand our limits a bit better.”
Killer pouts “You guys are my limit.” Then he grins and winks as he finger guns at them “And my weakness.”
Dust groans from the ground as he just covers his face with his arm “Can’t believe I agreed to this madness.”
Killer grins and pokes his cheek “You did! And now you are stuck with me!” Killr sounds very happy about it.
Cross glares “Guys I am serious! What is Nightmare gets taken again and we can’t do anything because we don’t understand our powers!?”
Killer’s face grows dark as he crosses his arms “Won’t happen again.”
Cross glares “We don’t know that. That is why we need to practise and learn.” He checks his mates. Killer sighs but gives in with a pout and a nod. Dust may not have moved but he is still here which counts. Horror had been down for this idea from the start.
Cross nods “Good!”
Dust speaks from the ground “How exactly?”
Cross frowns as he thinks “well… we need to figure out what triggers the powers… So try some stuff…” He stands up taller “I will go first!” It is easy! He did this before. He knows how to train and practise new skills or ideas for moves. He just needs to get in the right mindset.
Horror nods and joins Killer and Dust, forcing Dust to sit up right as well.
Cross takes a few deep breaths. Something about his magic makes him able to be invisible. Lets try that first.
He thinks about hiding. About staying out of sight. About following people quietly.
Cross opens a socket but sees this three boyfriends still watching him. Okay. He is still visible.
Mmh.
Cross closes his sockets and thinks. Hiding. Being invisible. Not being noticed.
No exclaim that it worked.
Cross stops as he taps his chin in thought. He is doing something wrong with this. He doesn’t even feel his magic react to his request.
Killer leans on a hand as he watches “No luck?”
Cross shakes his skull “Not yet… It doesn’t react to me thinking and wanting to hide or anything like it… I figured that would be a trigger at least.”
Horror frowns “Nothing?”
Cross sighs as he rubs his neck “Nothing.”
Dust yawns as he watches “Maybe it wasn’t hiding. You weren’t exactly hiding when you went after those assholes who took Nightmare.”
Cross frowns and shakes his skull “I was thinking about following them and not being noticed.” Neither worked.
Dust yawns “I would say you were doing a bit more than just being not noticed or following them but sure. It is a start.”
Killer shoots Dsut a look “I mean. We always notice him anyway.”
Dust snorts and nods “Very true.”
Horror looks at both of them disapproving but shoots him an apologetic smile.
Cross however knows he has a frown on his face. Thinking back to when his powers tended to activate… Generally it was when he wanted to hide or not be seen. But when he thought about more context to when he wanted that. Then it only happened when he was already nervous about something. Normally in some way related to them being discovered and found. Or more specifically, Nightmare being found.
But when it reacted? When it actually did what he wanted and needed? It was when he was focused on hunting down the pieces of filth that took their babybones…
Cross takes another deep breath and focuses. He thinks back to that mad dash. That rushed feeling. The need to get his baby back to his side right that second.
That is when this power had answered. That is when he had had most control. Without even needing to think. It had moved and done what he wanted without having to focus.
It isn’t about focus.
It isn’t about control.
It is about trust.
Cross forces his shoulders to relax. Focusses on the trust he feels in his mates. The trust in himself to do what he can. That he is able.
“Cross you are doing it!”
Cross opens a socket and watches as patches of him are hidden and others aren’t. It doesn’t feel like being gone or being unnoticed… It feels like parts of him are covered in a thin blanket. Cross mentally grabs it and just imagines wrapping himself with it.
And he is gone from view.
“Cross you did it!” Killer cheers “Way to go Crossy!”
Cross however has no control. It is like how he trusts his body to catch him when he jumps off something. How he trusts his body to run and catch him. How he trusts his movement.
It isn’t just a power he can lead or learn to control. It is different. It is like his body.
Cross takes a few steps around. Noticing that he is completely silent as well. huh. Strange. Still Cross speaks just to test “Seems like it isn’t only sight. My steps are much more silent than I am used to.”
Dust tilts his skull confused “Well.. .when you speak we can hear you just fine…”
Horror hums “Like when you want to speak you are obvious. But otherwise hidden.”
Cross shakes his skull and his mates blink confused at him. Cross glances down and sees his is visible again. Huh. As soon as he wanted-no, tried to communicate nonverbal he became visible again.
It isn’t focus. It isn’t thought.
Cross looks up at them “It is instinct.”
Horror, Killer and Dust all share confused looks before looking at Cross.
Cross shakes his skull as he tries to put his thoughts into words “It is instincts. These powers? It is more than just power or magic or movements. It is more than skill. It is about…” he can’t find the words. It is so strange. He is used to having to practise and work and try again and again. Failing over and over until you finally get the basics and then you work from there.
The powers are still finicky. Unpredictable. But they are there. Ready to work at just the right… need? Want? Wish? Hope? Anything for them to work.
Killer hums thoughtful “huh… maybe that is why my stuff just… acts the whole time? Because when I tell white lies I want people to believe it? So it just does the thing…” He frowns “especially with the woman in fur and mud… explains why she hasn’t tried to sue us yet.”
Dust glares at him “Don’t tempt faith…” but he leans on his leg “Doesn’t explain my stuff… the static just grows a lot… and if I don’t use magic we get another thunder storm situation.”
Horror shakes his skull “it does make sense. You want to protect Nightmare. Be ready. Your magic and body and power work together to have everything it needs to act right away.”
Dust frowns before huffing as he looks to the side “Whatever.”
Cross feels his soul give a little flutter. Can you blame him?! Dust looks so embarrassed wit his tiny blush!
Killer grins as Horror “Your turn H!”
Cross nods and quickly changes places with Horror.
Horror seems to think as he stands there. Considering the ground for a moment before making a pulling motion.
The ground shudders and a tiny piece of ground seems to slowly move over while other ground moves to fill in the space left behind.
Killer sighs as he leans against his knee as he stares “Looking good!”
Cross can’t help but agree. Horror has somehow figured his stuff out just passively. By careful and gentle nudging and feeling the powers out. He hadn’t been able to explain just muttered about moving what felt natural.
Killer had sighed wishfully that he wished he could do that stuff.
Cross for one is happy Killer doesn’t have this power. He would either try to dig a very deep hole or just make a very large tower. Cross isn’t sure which option would be worse.
Horror shrugs as he moves back to the group. He joins them and Dust leans against his side. Staring hard at the ground that moved so effortlessly for Horror.
Cross smiles at Horror “amazing.”
Horror shrugs as he mutters “It is physical. I don’t create or destroy stuff. It is about moving stuff one way and pushing other stuff to fill what is left…” he shrugs.
Dust chuckles as he just leans against Horror “That is amazing…” he stares at his own hand and frowns.
Horror just pulls him closer as Killer leans happily against Dust with a large grin “Your lightning is real cool~” Killer lowers his voice in a purr as he keeps staring at Dust. Cross isn’t sure if Killer is trying to flirt right now, or force Dust to believe what he says even if Killer knows his power doesn’t work against them. Killer just continues to talk when he sees Dust roll his eyes. Killer purrs and just lays on Dust as he purrs at him. Dust looks away from him with a tiny blush.
Killer grins and purrs “So much power. Just at the tips of your fingers. Only thing keeping it from exploding and destroying everything is your control and stubbornness to keep it tempered down~ Yet not once did you ever zap Nighty with it.” Killer grins wider as Dust starts to blush and look embarrassed.
Yeah. Cross gets it. Killer can get intense with his affection… Cross also still gets overwhelmed with it.
Cross is happy they know how to help Dust. It sometimes stings a little that those three had already been so close long before Cross joined them. He notices it with moments like these. When he is lost in what to do or how to act or help and-
Oh no Kiler is watching him.
Killer looks at him critically before grinning and pulling him closer until he is right up against Dust and Killer expends to cover both their laps.
Killer grins at Cross with a clearly mischievous look in his eyes “Great idea Cross! And you figured your stuff out so quickly! You just needed a moment to learn and study your skill and boom! You understand it! and thanks to that we could better understand ours! Fucking brilliant and fucking talented. Skilled beyond believe and you know yourself and your magic so well which just makes this so much more impressive!”
Cross knows he is blushing. He tugs his little bandana up to try and cover part of his face. His bandana had been a gift from the others… because he mentioned how he used to have his own bandana much like blue used to have. And they just got him a new one. It is a nice grey one with purple stripes. It is soft and fuck now he is just more embarrassed as he tries to hide from Killer’s compliments with the very gift his mates gave him!
Horror doesn’t stop it. Instead he just smiles at them with that handsome little smile as Dust and him just have to suffer through the storm of compliments.
Killer grins as he looks so happy as he just stares up at them from his spot of honour “And then you guys just look fucking amazing when we have some time to ourselves as well.”
Cross glares as he feels like his skull will explode and he hisses “Killer. Not with Nightmare so close.”
Killer laughs and winks at them “It is fine. He is asleep anyway-”
A small yawn “Are we cuddling?”
They turn around and spot Nightmare standing next to them. One hand rubbing his sockets while he other is holding unto one of the blankets from his other nest.
Dust is quick to focus on their baby “We are taking a break from practise. You slept well?”
Nightmare yawns again and climbs over Killer to get to the spot where Cross and Dust sit against one another. Nightmare gets to his spot which makes him able to snuggle into both their sides. A happy little hum as he closes his sockets.
Cross carefully takes the little blanket and tugs it around their little child. All cozy and comfortable.
Killer’s purring has only grown in volume as he watches them. Perfectly comfortable to lay across their laps with Nightmare snuggled in against all three of their sides.
Horror pulls them closer and sighs happily “A break sounds perfect.”
Cross laughs and nods. Sure they hadn’t practised much yet but they already got their goal completed. Which was to better understand their powers.
Now? He just wants to enjoy this moment. How comfortable and loved he feels between his mates with their son.
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cienie-isengardu · 13 hours
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Khaos Reigns and the matter of Lin Kuei
Warning: rant not spoiler free!
I said it before and I will say it again: Netherrealm Studio does not utilize the plot of Lin Kuei brothers to its fullest potential. And by brothers I don’t just mean Bi-Han and Kuai Liang. Mind you, their Khaos Reigns’ strained relationship comes back to Mortal Kombat 1 (2023) mess, so it’s not that there is no sense in how they interact. I’m frustrated by it but my frustration is not directed at characters itself but at NRS that does all in their power to *not* give us the heartbreaking story of shattered brotherhood - and it says a lot that we have much more wholesome relationship between Bi-Han/Noob and Sektor or Kuai Liang and Cyrax than we have with brothers themselves.
This is however not the most frustrating thing about the Lin Kuei brothers plot for me but how the previous game established Smoke and Kuai Liang as the “true brothers” and then Khaos Reigns ignores Tomas even more than the last time. And let’s be honest here: last time Tomas already was shoved hardy to the background.
The thing about Khaos Reigns that killed the most my enthusiasm is not actually Bi-Han/Noob & Kuai Liang subplot (as frankly, I did except the worst), nor even how NRS handled Noob after “mending his mind”. I’m fully disappointed and absolutely frustrated how the new part of Liu Kang’s timeline is heavily centered at Lin Kuei and TOMAS IS NOT THERE AT ALL. Everyone, including Scorpion, totally ignore his existence during the meeting before the mission to Chaosrealm.
The scene I’m talking about went like this:
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Kitana: Which is why you believe we need Sektor. Liu Kang: As Lin Kuei, she and Cyrax are trained for this type of mission. And they have the benefit of being with us, here. I can send them immediately, under Scorpion’s command -- Scorpion: I want neither’s help. I will go alone.  Liu Kang: That would be unwise.
See? Not for the first time we hear that Lin Kuei were trained since childhood for that kind of mission, so Kuai Liang and Sektor are natural choice, sure, but no one even for a moment thought about including Tomas - whose BIO specifically said he “chose to make the Lin Kuei’s mission his own. But as he lacked his brothers' innate supernatural abilities, he set out to master practical magic. Having done so, he now joins them in Earthrealm's defense."
There is a reasonable excuse or two to leave him behind I can make out of my head within seconds. For example, as a backup plan if the mission has failed, so there is someone to command Shirai Ryu  during battle. Or leaving Smoke behind to keep Harumi and/or their clan safe, as Scorpion can’t trust there won’t be another attack of Lin Kuei. But apparently even for a second it did not cross Kuai Liang’s mind to take Tomas - his trusted, loyal brother -  with himself, as counterargument to taking Cyrax and Sektor on a deadly mission. That Kuai Liang did not trust his former comrades makes absolutely sense, but this is why Smoke’s presence could be a good preventive measure. Scorpion did not ever utter any wish to have Tomas there at his side. Instead, Kuai Liang wanted to go alone (a mindset actually shared with Bi-Han!) and we got the Lin Kuei storyline with Tomas BEING THE ONLY ONE (EX)LIN KUEI NOT INCLUDED AT ALL.
Remember when the fandom was so angry at Bi-Han for not considering Tomas to be true Lin Kuei ("Mind your place, Tomas. Father may have taken you in, made you one of us... but your blood will never be Lin Kuei.”)? One year later, this exact scene on one hand actually backs up Sub-Zero’s claim, as even Kuai Liang does not consider Tomas to have at his side in a dire situation and opting to go alone. Which is why NRS should in my opinion allow *any* character to excuse the lack of Smoke at Mileena’s palace or why Liu Kang couldn’t teleport him there to aid Scorpion in his mission.
On another hand, the Khaos Reigns is about Lin Kuei more than ever while Tomas has barely few speaking lines and is totally removed from Lin Kuei brotherhood storyline. This was the perfect opportunity to add Smoke into the main group and expand our understanding of the relationship and history of characters. And hey, Bi-Han and Tomas too were once brothers and it would be really nice, if their brotherhood got some focus too, instead of excluding Smoke from it completely. Which again, adds a new layer to how hypocritical Kuai Liang was in the first game, with all the declaration how he and Tomas may not share a blood but they were brothers, when Scorpion A) has never once(?) mention Smoke through the new storyline nor B) even for a moment considered how Bi-Han’s death - his choice to not save their brother - could affect Tomas who, as intro dialogues imply, wished Scorpion and Sub-Zero could reconcile.  I understand why NRS put the focus on blood brothers, but it is the studio’s own choice to add Tomas to said brotherhood in the first place and by excluding him, they paint Scorpion as very self-centered and selfish man that is so focused on himself and his anger at Bi-Han, he literally gives no fucks about Tomas’ feelings on the matter. Which is… a surprising choice to say at least. 
We literally could have all Lin Kuei main heroes interacting on the same mission. A chance that most likely won’t happen too soon, if ever again.
So, yeah, I’m disappointed in that regard, as Tomas and Bi-Han once again got the short end of the stick from all the available Lin Kuei characters. With the one difference that Bi-Han, whatever presented as a good or bad person, brings some weight and impact on the storyline and other heroes. Tomas though? He could be cut away and his absence would change literally nothing.
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croissantlover24 · 1 day
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Solar angst where he has a panic attack after meeting Nexus again because he reminds him of his Moon?
(Yes yes YESSS)
Solar’s hands shivered. His nonexistent heart began to beat faster and faster, the sound suffocating his audio receptors. The oil within his eyes threatened to spill over. He could hear Nexus saying something in the background, but wasn’t really listening.
This was not how he had wanted things to go.
When Solar confronted his former brother, he thought he’d see some sort of explanation. Some sort of reason.
Not his Moon bubbling back all over again to torture him.
Of course, his Moon was dead. Solar had ensured that himself. However, with how Nexus was acting… it was like his brother was possessed by the ghost of his abuser.
Not a good combination.
“Aww, are you going to cry?” Nexus mocked, flexing his claws and exaggerating his tone.
“Shut up,” Solar hissed, holding back tears.
Nexus came closer.
“I’m not going to change,” he whispered lowly. “I have dark star power. That’s all I need. And soon, I’ll become a god.”
His laughter echoed across the empty halls like a distant wound Solar had long forgotten reopening.
“That may make me the villain of your story,” the lunar animatronic continued, “but I can handle that.”
His voice became colder than ice, frozen over from years of pretending to be someone he was not.
“However… can you?”
“Can’t you do anything right?” Moon had hissed at Solar, slamming his faceplate against the wall repeatedly. “Why are you STILL HERE? Where’s Sun? WHAT’D YOU DO TO MY BROTHER?”
Solar shook his head, pushing the memory back to the deep recesses of his mind. Now was not the time to compare how Nexus had become the person he swore not to be.
“Kneel,” said animatronic commanded, and Solar was suddenly shoved to the ground. He tried to stand, but a force far beyond his own kept him on the ground.
Nexus laughed. “How pathetic.”
“Shut. UP,” Solar hissed, pushing off of the ground and ramming into him. Nexus swiftly dodged, sending Solar barreling into the wall.
“Ugh,” the latter groaned, rubbing his head. Not the smartest decision.
“You’re as foolish as always,” Moon—no, Nexus—teased.
Solar would be lying if he said that he didn’t see the two as one and the same now.
He shook his head. Don’t think about that. DON’T DON’T DON’T—
Solar was slammed to the ground by his former brother yet again, purple magic floating around him.
“Keep your head down,” Nexus growled. “I’m going to make this very clear.”
He grabbed Solar’s faceplate, digging his claws into it and ripping some of the paint off.
“I am not Moon anymore. I am Nexus. Get that straight. Nexus, Nexus, Nexus.” Each time he said his own name, Eclipse—no, Solar (get out of that mindset, Solar)—was punched hard in the face.
Nexus was still going easy on him.
He grinned maniacally, the thing spread far too wide. “I’m glad we’ve come to an understanding.”
He disappeared.
And that’s when the panic attack formed.
Solar’s airways felt tight, as if they had rusted over and filled with dust. Each breath didn’t seem enough, like he needed more more more air and—he wasn’t getting enough of it. He was suffocating, a victim of his own mind. Nervous energy jittered through him, convincing him of hallucinations that weren’t there.
“You’re pathetic.”
“You’re the reason Sun is gone.”
“I’m going to kill you.”
Was it his Moon or Nexus saying those things? Solar suddenly couldn’t remember.
He collapsed against the wall, gripping his head tightly as his heart raced and his mind reeled.
Sleep was… a far away dream for Solar that night.
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lukedruid80 · 2 days
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MY TWO FRIENDS MANIFESTED FOR THE FIRST TIME AND IT WORKED FOR THEM, SO CAN YOU !
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First one, she's not even a shifter BUT she does find it interesting and is the most respectful person ever. She tried manifestation for the first time and IT WORKED. My second frienf tried it the first time too, and he's a shifter, it worked out so well for him.
Shifter or manifestation person or both or not, it is prove that ANYONE CAN DO IT. If my two friends who tried it the first time and it worked, SO CAN YOU. YOU ARE NO DIFFERENT THAN ME AND MY TWO FRIENDS.
For me personally, how i manifest and what i told my two friends to do, start off with baby steps. Manifest something small, something that YOU are able to adjust your doubts and your trust on yourself. My friend manifested a croissant, she manifested something SPECIFIC though she didn't get that flavor she wanted, but she managed to get specifically a croissant from the exact same shop. My other friend manifested a book, nothing specific on what genre, what title, what author. No, just a book. And he got one.
Because it is something small and easier to adjust, it's more simple to trust yourself with it. Build up your way to take small baby steps to big steps. My personal goal is to adjust my manifestation to finally be able to adjust my doubts on manifesting shifting.
If you start of with "I'll get a thousand money in my bank account tomorrow" it can work, if you believe. But if you're someone like me who got trust issues in their brain, that something like that seems "unbelievable", try small simple manifestation.
Baby steps: manifest you'll get 1 coin
Second steps: manifest you'll get 10 bucks
Big steps: manifest you'll get 20 bucks
Bigger steps (you're more confident): You'll win a lottery
Manifestation and shifting is seriously all about YOU. YOUR MINDSET. YOUR TRUST. AND YOUR WORTH. You NEED to BELIEVE IN YOURSELF. Think of it as like those motivational speech people always give where they pull that card "The key to achieving your goal/dream is to believe in yourself." I'm not saying you HAVE to have a good mental health and mindset all the time, but it is really about trusting your mind. You have to believe.
Tip for reassurance: When you have manifested something already and you want to manifest another thing, use your proof "I've manifested (the thing you managed to manifest before) before, I can do it again."
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inkskinned · 1 year
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you were raised in comparison.
it wasn't always obvious (well. except for the times that it was), but you internalized it young. you had to eat what you didn't like, other people are going hungry, and you should be grateful. you had to suck it up and walk on the twisted ankle, it wasn't broken, you were just being a baby. you were never actually suffering, people obviously had it worse than you did.
you had a roof over your head - imagine! with the way you behaved, with how you talked back to your parents? you're lucky they didn't kick you out on your ass. they had friends who had to deal with that. hell, you have friends who had to deal with that. and how dare you imply your father isn't there for you - just because he doesn't ever actually talk to you and just because he's completely emotionally checked out of your life doesn't mean you're not fucking lucky. think about your cousins, who don't even get to speak to their dad. so what if yours has a mean streak; is aggressive and rude. at least you have a father to be rude to you.
you really think you're hurting? you were raised in a home! you had access to clean water! you never so much as came close to experiencing a real problem. sure, okay. you have this "mental illness" thing, but teenagers are always depressed, right. it's a phase, you'll move on with your life.
what do you mean you feel burnt out at work. what do you mean you mean you never "formed healthy coping mechanisms?" we raised you better than that. you were supposed to just shoulder through things. to hold yourself to high expectations. "burning out" is for people with real jobs and real stress. burnout is for people who have sick kids and people who have high-paying jobs and people who are actually experiencing something difficult. recently you almost cried because you couldn't find your fucking car keys. you just have lost your sense of gratitude, and honestly, we're kind of hurt. we tell you we love you, isn't that enough? if you want us to stick around, you need to be better about proving it. you need to shut up about how your mental health is ruined.
it could be worse! what if you were actually experiencing executive dysfunction. if you were really actually sick, would you even be able to look at things on the internet about it? you just spend too much time on webMD. you just like to freak yourself out and feel like you belong to something. you just like playing the victim. this is always how you have been - you've always been so fucking dramatic. you have no idea how good you have it - you're too fucking sensitive.
you were like, maybe too good of a kid. unwilling to make a real fuss. and the whole time - the little points, the little validations - they went unnoticed. it isn't that you were looking for love, specifically - more like you'd just wanted any one person to actually listen. that was all you'd really need. you just needed to be witnessed. it wasn't that you couldn't withstand the burden, but you did want to know that anyone was watching. these days, you are so accustomed to the idea of comparison - you don't even think you belong in your own communities. someone always fits better than you do. you're always the outlier. they made these places safe, and then you go in, and you are just not... quite the same way that would actually-fit.
you watch the little white ocean of your numbness lap at your ankles. the tide has been coming in for a while, you need to do something about it. what you want to do is take a nap. what you want to do is develop some kind of time machine - it's not like you want your life to stop, not completely, but it would really nice if you could just get everything to freeze, just for a little while, just until you're finished resting. but at least you're not the worst you've been. at least you have anything. you're so fucking lucky. do you have any concept of the amount of global suffering?
a little ant dies at the side of your kitchen sink. you look at its strange chitinous body and think - if you could just somehow convince yourself it is enough, it will finally be enough and you can be happy. no changes will have to be made. you just need to remember what you could lose. what is still precious to you.
you can't stop staring at the ant. you could be an ant instead of a person, that is how lucky you are. it's just - you didn't know the name of the ant, did you. it's just - ants spend their whole life working, and never complain. never pull the car over to weep.
it's just - when it died, it curled up into a tight little ball.
something kind of uncomfortable: you do that when you sleep.
#writeblr#warm up#my dad was actively doing bad shit to us and we STILL were told we were lucky . and to a point i do think im lucky#i just think also there's somethin to be said about like. how about we stop using comparison to dismiss ppls individual struggles#yes there are people who have no perspective. for the reference tho having perspective actually made me really unwilling to get help#for what was a serious and debilitating mental health issue. bc i thought i didnt DESERVE IT#and i would rather have 600 ppl who aren't THAT bad get help and get heard and get seen#than make any 1 kid. do the math that i did: look at the world that is dying and the people who are hurting and say#''oh. okay. others have it worse. they are probably better people than i am. i am being unreasonable. i cannot ask for help#i am not good. i am taking too much space. i am not worth saving.''#bc our WHOLE lives we are taught a scarcity mindset - that you can 'steal' from someone. so that instead of changing a system that doesn't#actually offer fair support to everyone#we put the impetus on the individual to just... demand less.#and here's something - there are probably ppl who think i DIDNT deserve to get help#bc i DID have it better than other people#and something about that is ... so sickening. bc i think all of us in some way at some point WILL need help.#we were supposed to make communities. we were supposed to offer our hands. we were supposed to raise the barn#instead we said: it could be worse. now handle it yourself
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turtleblogatlast · 6 months
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Something I’ve been thinking about lately is that small moment in “Air Turtle” where immediately after the Daves lose yet another game, Leo says how sorry he is and how he’s doing his best as the mascot. This moment is so short but it’s honestly jam-packed with a whole heap of characterization.
His need to apologize for things clearly not his fault - especially when it feels like he messes up the job he was given despite doing the best he can (the phrase “it’s not about you” takes a new meaning when this is one of the lessons to be learned from that - that he is not always solely responsible for things going wrong), his need to save face and make a connection with an older adult man in his life (something he consistently does throughout the series - he’s got a few daddy issues, always collecting potential father figures, it’s no wonder he jumps at the bit to keep rapport), and the way he sounds and looks and the words he chooses really pushes how he is just a kid (“Mr. the Dunk, I’m so sorry”).
Like I know it’s a one off moment that doesn’t truly mean much, but when put against the rest of the series it works really well with the rest of Leo’s established character and helps in solidifying later concepts as well.
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt leo#rise leo#rottmnt headcanons#am I looking too much into things? almost assuredly yes#I actually appreciate how tim immediately goes ‘it’s not your fault’ as well? like he could’ve just blamed this 15/16 year old but he didn’t#but yeah this moment got to me a little mainly because it made me realize that Leo…DOES take responsibility for things a lot#he messes up a ton yeah but he says sorry at a pretty consistent rate#and y’know thinking about it#THIS IS TINFOIL HAT TERRITORY BE WARNED#he’s mentioned being betrayed by his brothers before - I wonder if it was something as simple as taking the fall for like#breaking something of Splinters or whatever#point is it wouldn’t be out of the ordinary for him to get the full blame for something only partially his fault#or not his fault at all in some cases#like in bug busters where Raph gets mad at Leo for not getting captured with them#(I understand Raph’s mindset here a ton - Raph’s the leader and he’s likely lashing out so I don’t blame the poor kid)#but this plus the moment at the beginning of the movie#where only Leo is reprimanded despite Mikey and Donnie having full autonomy to join the fun pizza stacking#make no mistake this is not at all a diss on everyone else!!! it’s just something I noticed#I think that “it’s not about you” doesn’t just pertain to being arrogant and wanting the spotlight#I think it’s also about how responsibility is meant to be shared#and like#Leo DOES mess up a lot! so he’s honestly probably used to having the blame because it is often at least somewhat warranted#he’s specifically described as being good at apologizing after all#tldr: Leo messes up a lot of the time so he is very used to blame and attention both good and bad#even when the full blame should not be solely on his shoulders
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yonch · 7 months
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obligatory hand headcanons (handcanons if you will) for the isats
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