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claudemblems · 2 years

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Rest | Levi Ackerman

So this was supposed to be your standard sick fic but I projected some of my inner thoughts onto my screen and now it's just you having your feelings being validated by Levi 😂 I'm guessing there are those of you who have the same issues and concerns, so I hope that when you read this you remember that you are worthy and special. Take care of yourself and continue on one small step at a time.

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

"Tch. How many times have I told you that you need to rest? Forcing yourself to work when you're shaking like a newborn deer isn't going to help your situation."

You would have argued, but firstly, you were too weak, and secondly, you knew he had a point, and you weren't in the mood to admit it. Instead, you let Levi guide you back to your room, one of your arms slung around his shoulders while his held you upright by your waist. Levi had found you at your desk writing, hand quivering so badly that you couldn't keep the quill pressed to the paper. You'd assured him that you were fine, just feeling a little under the weather, but he'd taken one look at your face and decided you'd worked hard enough for the day.

"I'm sorry for making you go out of your way to take care of me..."

Levi glanced at you out of the corner of his eye, taking in your weak frame and downcast expression. "I wouldn't have to if you listened to your body and rested when it told you to," he answered. "However, it's my responsibility as captain to look out for my squad. It's a part of the job."

You didn't claim to know Levi as well as Hange did--she was his unofficial interpreter, after all--but you couldn't help but wonder if Levi was trying to spare your feelings. He really wasn't obligated to look after you. You were an adult. Your health was your own responsibility. Yet there he was, ushering you to the comfort of your room, indirectly telling you that you didn't need to feel guilty receiving his help because this was what was expected of him.

You still felt bad for compelling him to look after you himself, but at least knowing that he cared made you want to smile.

"I guess I really don't know when to quit," you admitted as the two of you arrived at your door, Levi gently leading you inside. "I...no, it's nothing."

It's when he helped you sit down on your warm, comfortable bed that Levi finally met your gaze, all of his attention focused solely on you. "What is it?"

"Nothing...it's not important."

You swore Levi was more observant than he let on, judging by the way he eyed you carefully. He knew there was something deeper going on, something bothering your conscience so much that you put your own health in jeopardy.

"Wait here. I'll go make some hot tea. Tell me what's on your mind when I get back."

You nodded, knowing that it was futile to argue with the captain when his mind was made up. He glanced over you one last time before disappearing into the hallway, bringing you back a cup of tea only minutes later.

"Be careful. It's hot."

Levi carefully set the teacup on top of your nightstand, wordlessly removing the small bits of clutter surrounding it. He could have chided you for not keeping your room neat and orderly, but for now, he bit his tongue. Yet another small ounce of kindness that didn't go unnoticed.

As you settled in underneath your blankets, Levi pulled up a chair next to your bed. He did another once-over, absentmindedly checking for any other ailments he may have missed. When he was satisfied that nothing else was wrong, he met your eyes again. "Now, what was it that you were going to tell me?"

"Well...firstly, I want to say that I wasn't trying to blatantly neglect my health. I realize now that I shouldn't have pushed myself like that, but I wasn't doing it because I don't care about my well-being." You sighed, running a hand through your hair as you carefully chose your next words. "I guess the best way to put it is that I don't find myself deserving of rest. If I take a break, I feel like I'm making excuses to be lazy. If I'm sick--even to the point of puking my guts out--I don't feel like I've earned the right to put my feet up and relax. I did use to give myself too much credit for barely doing anything, and I had a habit of slacking off, but even when I lazed around, I felt really guilty. Now that guilt has seeped in to the present. So even when I have worked hard, even when I physically feel like I can't handle doing what's expected of me due to illness or exhaustion, I still have the mindset of, 'I don't deserve it.' What I do is never enough. At least for me."

It wasn't exactly an embarrassing confession, but your face still burned hot with shame. This was the reason Levi had found you hunched over your desk, face white and chest heaving. This was the reason he had to take time out of his busy day to deal with you here in your room. Because you couldn't distinguish when you truly deserved to give yourself some grace and when you didn't. It was pathetic. Your self-loathing shouldn't have to affect everyone around you.

If it affected Levi in any way, he didn't show it. Instead, he stayed quiet for a few moments, letting your admission sink into his mind. You weren't sure what kind of reaction he would give you, but you did know one thing: he would be your voice of reason, just as he was for the rest of the Scouts.

"There's a fine line between holding yourself accountable for slacking and denying yourself rest when your body needs it," he finally answered, giving you a stern but concerned look. "But when you're refusing to go easy on yourself, is it really because you haven't been productive, or is it because you feel like you deserve to suffer through the pain?"

His words hit you hard in the chest, and it wasn't until you felt yourself blinking back tears that you realized he'd uncovered the truth. You couldn't remember a time where you had believed yourself to be worthy of love or care. Time and time again, you had scolded yourself for things you couldn't control. Instead of addressing the issues that did need fixing--in ways that a rational adult would--you chose to save the punishments when you were already beat down. No wonder you couldn't distinguish laziness from illness. Either way, you ended up angry at yourself. You were disgusted at how useless you seemed to be. But most of all, you didn't feel deserving of anything. In your mind, you were the worst person in the world. If you got sick, you believed you deserved it. If you were in such a state that you couldn't get out of bed, it was just your punishment for all the things you didn't accomplish the day prior. Everything was your fault. Perhaps you were deserving of something: you were deserving of pain. And that's all you should ever expect to receive.

You came back to reality as you felt a warm, feather-like touch against your cheek. Your heart skipped a beat in your chest as your eyes fell on Levi. He's wiping my tears...you realized. But when did I start crying?

"You must have been put through hell and back to end up at this point. I can't say I've lived through whatever you have, but I understand what it's like to question your worth." Levi took out his handkerchief, gently dabbing at the hot tears streaming down your face. "I failed the people I cared about the most, and I felt like I didn't deserve the life I still had. But then I was snapped back to my senses. I realized that I had to make use of the second chance my comrades weren't afforded. If I couldn't even do that, then I would truly be worthless."

Levi pulled back to place his hands on your shoulders, his thumbs rubbing soothing circles into your skin. "I think the majority of us have a warped vision of ourselves. But when we can't see our inherent worth, that's when we turn to the people who always can." Then Levi did something truly expected: he offered you a small smile, softly ruffling your hair in the process. "You've got a good heart. Don't start neglecting your health because you can't see the kind person the rest of us can. We all need you healthy and smiling."

The truth of his words, the calming sensation of his hand running through the strands of your hair, and the rare but genuine smile on his lips made you begin to sob. It was overwhelming to have someone care so deeply for you, so much so that they would go out of their way like this to make sure that you knew it. It was even more touching to hear things like this from Levi, but you'd been able to see past his rough exterior to the gentle heart hiding underneath from the beginning. Was this how he saw you, too? Maybe you were beginning to understand what he meant...

"How did this go from me getting lectured to my captain trying to fix my self-image?" you laughed, sniffling as you tried to stop your tears.

"You look like you've been run over by a group of titans. I wouldn't want to lecture you anymore and make your condition any worse."

You laughed, shaking your head as you met Levi's eyes again. "There's the sarcastic captain I know."

"It's not sarcasm. Being scolded by me is a tiring affair. The naive cadets who think they can get smart with me have witnessed it firsthand."

"Well, I thank you for sparing me anymore pain, then," you joked, a hint of a smile on your face.

"You should start drinking your tea before it gets cold," Levi reminded, placing the cup into your hands. "It tastes like crap when it's no longer hot."

"Well, we wouldn't want that."

You took small sips of your tea as Levi placed your blanket back around your shoulders. He rose up from his spot and decided to tidy up your room as you finished your drink.

"When you're done, set it on your nightstand and I'll take it back. And try to get some sleep."

You nodded and focused on finishing your drink. When the cup was empty, you placed it by your bedside and snuggled back into bed. Levi ceased his cleaning and took the cup into his hands, beginning to make his way to the kitchen before you stopped him.

"Captain?"

"Hmm?"

"Thank you. For making me feel cared for, and for seeing my worth when I can't. Next time when I feel this way, I'll put my health first. The work can come later."

"Good. You don't need to be so hard on yourself, even if you are a brat. It wouldn't be the same without you here."

You swear you saw a brief smile appear on Levi's lips as he exited your room, quietly closing the door behind him so you could get your much-needed rest.

I wouldn't be the same without you here, either, Captain, you thought as you closed your eyes, quickly falling into a deep and peaceful slumber.

#claudemblems writes #aot #aot x reader #levi ackerman #levi x reader

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viking-raider · 3 years

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Southern Generation - Part II

Summary: Working for Lily is going well for Sy, but he wants her to meet a special lady in his life, and manages to get her out of the house.

Pairing: Syverson/OFC

Word Count: 5,698

Rating: PG - Language, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Anxiety, Angst

Inspiration: An old fic I wrote and wanting to write a Sy fic.

Author’s Note: Thank you to @wondersofdreaming

“You've been getting here more early than usual.” Lily commented, handing Sy his usual morning coffee as he arrived on the property. “You fly here like Superman or something?”

She teased him as she sat down on the brand new porch swing that Sy had built with the scrap lumber from the porch and siding.

Sy laughed and leaned back against the porch railing. “No, I've been staying at the Sunway Motel in Celina.” He confessed, crossing his ankles. “I've been too tired to drive back to Austin most days, I don't want to fall asleep at the wheel or anything. So, I've been crashing there to keep it safe, and it just makes getting back here a sight easier, than a three-hour drive.” He told her, shaking his head.

“One-way.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Lily frowned, offended to hear it.

“Well, I don't want you paying that out of your pocket.” He replied, frowning back at her. “It's not a big deal for me.”

“I do technically pay you to stay there, Sy.” Lily answered, shaking her head at him.

“True.” He nodded, staring at the tips of his boots. “But, I also have a Military paycheck.” He informed her. “Again,” He sighed, pressing his lips together. “I didn't want you paying for something I can pay myself. You buy enough things as is.”

“Well, I would have offered to pay for it.” She started, folding her legs. “But, I also would have offered you one of my guest rooms.”

Sy blinked at her, he hadn't expected that from her, it seemed a bit toward. That thought made him paused, blinking at himself. Did Austin 'Fuck and eat you out til you can't walk' Syverson just have an abstinent thought.

Holy fuck, I did! He thought, staring at her.

And it wasn't because Sy wasn't attracted to her, because he very much was.

She was a beautiful young lady. The way her eyes lit up, every time she smiled, even when she was being shy. She came just to his shoulder. Her hair looks so silk and soft, that it took everything in Sy's power not to reach out and caress his fingers through it to find out just how pillow-y soft it was. She was dainty, but had curves in all the right places, for Sy to hold onto her. He bit the inside corner of his lip, thinking about gripping those hips of hers and kneading them in his big mitts, to rub up against that plump, heart shaped ass, to grab or bury his face in those matching breasts.

Sy cleared his throat and took a deep gulp of his cooling coffee, praying his growing erection wasn't too obvious to her.

What a way to ruin it, Syverson. He berated himself, trying to rein himself back in.

“Anyway,” She said, breaking the silence and getting up off the swing. “The offer stands, if you want it.” She told him, and went back inside.

He stayed there long after she had gone upstairs to her office to start her own workday, even after his coffee cup was empty. He turned around, setting the empty cup on the railing and watched the sun slowly climb higher into the sky, before sighing and getting back to work, siding the back portion of the house; thinking he might start working on the roof next. Since Spring was due soon and the weatherman said it would be a cold and rainy one.

“I'm going to be late tomorrow.” Sy said, that afternoon.

“Okay.” Lily smiled, taking up his empty lunch plate and turned towards the sink. “Everything okay?” She asked, turning the faucet on to do them and the ones from breakfast.

“Everything's great.” Sy smiled, leaning back in his chair and grinning.

“I've never seen you smile so big, since we met.” She teased him, chuckling.

“I made a friend in Baghdad.” He explained, giddy. “She's finally over here in the States, so I need to pick her up at the airport.” He was excited about getting Aika again, even more so for Lily to meet her.

“I want you to meet her.” He added.

Lily's stomach clenched hearing him talk about whoever she was, a bit down to find out he apparently had someone special in his life. “I look forward to it.” She said, focusing on the plate in her hand.

“Great!” He beamed, getting up from the table. “I'm sure the two of you will be two peas in a pod!” He said, heading out the back door to finish his work.

“Totally.” Lily sighed, frowning to herself.

The next day, Lily was a complete wreck about meeting Sy's friend.

She had tossed and turned all night, barely getting any sleep as she kept thinking about the meet. She knew the woman was going to be gorgeous, why wouldn't she be, if Sy had been so excited about her being in the States and she was able to capture the attention of his ocean blues. Eventually, Lily got out of bed, tired of not finding a comfortable position and peace of mind to fall asleep. Besides, knowing her luck, she'd be subjected to dreaming about meeting the lady and all her, super model glory.

So, she padded down to her office and flipped on her computer, deciding to get her day started early and finish the few projects she had going on with a couple of clients. But, not even that helped her forget about the situation, if anything it made it worse, her leg impatiently bouncing to the tune of her agitation and self-pity. Running a hand through her hair for the hundredth time, before putting it back up, yet again, she huffed and stood up, pacing the floor of her office, from the window to the door, and back, biting her fingernails and mumbling to herself.

“Why would you even have the remotest chance with a guy like Austin Syverson?” She berated herself, yet again. “Good lord, look at the man! He's an actual man and you've never even kissed a boy. He's the whole package and you're just full of baggage. This is definition of friend zoned, and you bloody well know it!”

Sy had driven back to Austin after leaving Lily's place the night before. He was so excited to retrieve Aika from quarantine. It felt like an age since they last saw each other, but not as long as it might have felt, if he hadn't had Lily for company and the work on the farm to do, day in and day out.

“Fuck,” He huffed, drumming his thumbs on the steering wheel. “I really hope the two of them get along.” He mumbled to himself, fidgeting in his seat. “Maybe, I should have told her about Aika. What if she's allergic to dogs, or doesn't even like them?” He questioned, suddenly doubting himself. “I know she likes horses, but a dog isn't a horse, and the horse isn't on her property.” He glanced at his mobile phone in the passenger seat, questioning if he should just call Lily and tell her he's bringing his dog to the farm, for her to meet.

“No.” Sy shook his head, brushing it off. “It'll be fine. This will be great! They'll get along perfectly and it'll be a happily ever after.” He nodded, pushing himself to be positive as he pulled into the facility to pick Aika up. “Captain Austin Syverson, here for my dog, Aika.” He told the lady at the front desk, then signed the release paperwork, while they brought her out to him.

“Hey, girl!” Sy called, as Aika charged for him. “Oh, I've missed you so much, bug!” He said, rubbing her erect ears and scratched down her back, making her back leg go wild. “I've got someone special I want you to meet.” He said, getting the German Shepherd into his truck. “You're going to love her.” He smiled at Aika, who licked his scruffy cheek.

“And she's probably going to spoil you rotten.” He chuckled, pulling out of the parking space.

“Oh shit.”

Lily gulped seeing the kicked up dust cloud on the driveway, as Sy's truck approached the house and felt her heart stop, knowing at any moment, she would be meeting his special lady in a matter of minutes. She had been trying all morning to put on a brave and supportive face, not wanting to make herself look like a fool in front of them. “I can't do this.” She gulped, running into the bathroom upstairs and vomited into the bowel several times, before quickly brushing and rinsing her mouth out.

“Afternoon, Lily!” Sy yelled, getting out and giving her a wave as she stepped out onto the porch, he was positively beaming. “You ready to meet her?” He asked, gripping the handle of the passenger door.

“Yep!” She called back, forcing a smile. “As I can be.” She mumbled under her breath as Sy opened the door.

A bark filled the humid air and a big German Shepherd jumped out of the truck, jumping on Sy a few times, before noticing Lily and bee-lining for her.

“Oh.” Lily gasped, surprised that Sy's special lady, was a dog. “Hey.” She grinned at Aika, bracing herself has Aika put her paws on her chest. “Aren't you a beauty.” She said, scratching her erect ears and relieved beyond all belief.

“See, I told you the two of you would get along.” Sy said, stepping up on the porch, relieved as well.

“That you did.” Lily agreed. “What's her name?” She asked, looking up at him.

“Aika.” He replied, scratching Aika all over. “I found her as a stray during my last deployment, she was just a pup. So, I took her in and took care of her. She's been stuck in Quarantine since before I got back, and they just released her today.” He explained as Aika bolted off the porch and zoomed around the front yard.

“You don't mind me having her here, do you?” He asked, biting the corner of his lip.

“Are you kidding?” Lily laughed, watching Aika disappear in the tall grass. “She's more than welcomed here.” She assured him, with a sweet smile. “Any time.”

“She's not really used to grass.” Sy laughed, as Aika attempted to pee on every blade she could. “You might get a few holes as well.” He added, knowing the Shepherd's like to dig.

“Please, I doubt anyone will notice.” Lily giggled, looking around the neglected yard.

Sy went to work on his latest project on the property and Aika spent most of the day running around the land, investigating what Sy was up to or lounging on the floor in Lily's office upstairs. Lily sighed and rubbed her face as the phone downstairs in the kitchen rang. She pushed back in her office chair and carefully stepped over Aika, to pad down the small set of stairs that led directly into the kitchen from the upstairs.

“Hello?” She chimed, pressing the receiver to her ear with her shoulder, waving at Sy as he passed the kitchen window and rounded the side of the house, then frowned, when no one answered her greeting. “Hello?” She repeated, a little bit louder. “Are you there?” She asked, checking to make sure the call was connected properly.

“What's wrong?” Sy frowned, stepping into the kitchen as the receiver fell to the floor at their feet.

“Nothing.” She squeaked, quickly bending to pick it up. “Just being clumsy.” She told him, hanging the phone up.

“Well, who was it?” He asked, tilting his head at her strange behavior.

“I don't know.” She replied, shrugging her shoulders and ran a hand through her hair, not turning around to look at him. “They never said anything. Must have been a wrong number or something.” She told him, heart thundering in her chest. “I need to finish my work.” She said, then rushed upstairs, leaving Sy staring up after her.

“I talked to your neighbor, Billie Marlowe.” Sy said, tugging a cloth out of his back pocket and wiped his face and head with it.

“Oh?” Lily replied, stirring a bit of honey into her tea.

“Yeah, he said, his daughter, Skylar, would be competing in a barrel racing competition this Sunday, in Dallas.” He told her, studying her carefully. “I was wondering, if you had thought about, maybe, going with me?” He asked, licking his lips.

Lily froze, the container of liquid creamer hovering over her steaming cup as she stared across the table at him, eyes wide. “I-”

“Oh, come on.” Sy pressed, brow creasing. “It's my treat. I'll drive and everything. It'll do you some good to leave the house.” He tried coaxing her. “Just for an hour or two.”

Lily continued to stare at Sy, her hand growing sweaty around the plastic container, before she set it down, her shoulders slumping as she did. “All right. Only for a few hours, then we come back. I have a deadline.”

Sy burst into a grin, his blue eyes bright. “Great.” He said, rubbing his hands together. “It doesn't start until eight and her competition doesn't start until eight-thirty. So, we'll have plenty of time.” He told her, excited to go to the fair with her.

Three days later, Sy got Lily in the car and they drove forty-five minutes from Celina to Dallas. The first few minutes in the car was quiet, until Luna's nerves got the best of her.

“When was the last time you went to a fair?” She asked, looking at him.

“Oh, man.” Sy huffed, frowning out the windshield as he considered it. “I think I was sixteen, it was an end of the year thing for my Junior year at high school. I didn't go to my Senior one, since I was getting ready for basic training.” He told her.

“What about you?” He asked, glancing at her.

“Never.”

“You've never been to one?” Sy snapped, shocked.

“Nope.” She shook her head at him.

“Not even for school?”

“I was home schooled.” She explained. “My dad thought they were a suck and waste of money.”

“That's the point.” Sy laughed, shaking his head. “Wasting money on artery clogging food and probably unsafe rides. It's a rush, but mostly from all the sugar.” He grinned at her, amused.

“You'll love it, I swear.”

“I'll take your word for it, Captain.” Lily smiled back, hoping he didn't see how freaked out she was.

They finally reached the fair grounds and a place to park, Sy got them all access bracelets, so giddy as they entered the fair grounds. Lily took several deep breaths as the crowd around them thickened and stuck close to Sy. She really didn't want to ruin Sy's fun at the fair, he had been jabbering about it since she agreed to go with him, telling her about the all fun rides and food. He was like a little boy, reliving his first fair experience, and she knew it had been over ten years since he had been to one. So, she put on a brave face and tried to smile, every time he glanced at her.

Which was every few seconds.

Sy and Lily got on several rides to kill the half hour until the barrel-racing competition started under one of the big tents set up in the huge field. She rather enjoyed the Ferris wheel, just her and Sy in one seat, spaced out from everyone else on the ride. She did think she was going to throw up on the sudden drop ride, but managed to keep it down, making Sy laugh at her as he saw her face from the corner of his eye as the two of them got off the ride.

“You all right?” He chuckled, resting his hand on the small of her back.

“I think, my stomach is somewhere between my brain and my toes.” She chuckled, despite herself.

“It'll even out again.” Sy laughed with her, rubbing her back.

“Ladies and Gentleman, boys and girls,” the fair announcer came over the intercom system throughout the fair. “The Barrel-Racing Competition is due to start in ten minutes, in tent number six! So, find your seats now!” He informed the herd of fair-goers.

“Oh, we should head out that way.” Sy said, pulling out the little fair map and directed them towards the tent. “Why don't you find us a place to sit and I'll go get us something to munch and sip on.” He told her, at the tent's entrance.

“Sy..”

“It'll take two minutes.” He told her, squeezing her shoulder, then disappearing into the crowd that was trying to funnel into the tent.

“Fuck, Austin.” Lily gulped, starting to tremble as she turned into the tent and looked for somewhere to sit, before finding a place in the second row, near the exit.

Sy weaved around the countless people in the main walkway of the fair, before spotting a food vendor with something he thought Lily would love to try out and headed that direction, to standing in line. He was only in the line for a moment, when he felt a tap on his shoulder and turned around to see who it was, breaking out into a smile.

“Mr. Marlowe.” He greeted the farmer, sticking his hand out to the other man.

“Please, just call me Billie.” Marlowe replied, smiling up at Sy and shook his hand.

“Sy.” Sy answered. “You must be excited to see your little girl compete.” He said, as they stood side by side and progressed through the line.

“That I am.” Billie beamed, like the proud papa he was. “I am surprised at you though.” He added, pulling off his John Deere hat, ran his hand through his short, salt and pepper hair, and rubbed the over-tanned skin of his neck.

“Why's that?” Sy frowned, shaking his head.

“I saw Ms. Lily with you.” Billie replied as they got to the counter. “My farm has been in my family for four generations. I knew the couple that lived at Ms. Lily's place, when I was a lad. They passed away and their kids didn't want to be farmers, so they sold the place and Ms. Lily bought it a few years back. In that time, I have never seen her leave the property. The closest I've ever seen was when she fetches the mail, and she does that in a jiffy.” He laughed, stepping up to one of the two cashiers, while Sy went to the other.

“What do you mean?” Sy frowned, then gave the cashier an order for two elephant ears, a coke for himself and a Dr. Pepper for Lily.

“Oh.” Billie frowned, realizing Sy had no clue.

“'Oh', what?” Sy pressed, annoyed.

“You don't know about Ms. Lily being Agoraphobic?” Billie asked slowly, blinking at Sy with a shocked look. “I thought you knew. Practically everyone in Celina knows about it. My boy, Travis, who works at the Celina supermarket, even gets her groceries for her and delivers them, and everything.”

Sy floundered, his mouth opening and closing for a moment. “I didn't.” He sighed, clearing his throat. “I just thought she was a home-body.” He said, shaking his head. “Well, I suppose she is a home-body, it's just a bit more complicated than that.”

He felt silly, all of the signs were there, right in front of his oblivious face. He had never seen her leave the property in the weeks he was there working. She was always, either, in the house or on the porch, the furthest from the house he had ever seen her was the mailbox. She got clearly anxious about any mention of leaving to go anywhere, and her car hadn't moved since the first time he saw it in the dirt driveway. Everything made so much sense to him now, with the sudden realization he had left her, alone, in a tent full of complete strangers.

“Shit!” He barked, taking the food and drinks and rushing back to the tent. “Are you okay?” He asked, as soon as he found her in the crowded stands.

“Other than starving, I'm all right.” She replied, looking up at him.

“You're sure?” He asked and sat down beside her, he could see the tremble in her shoulders. “You're shaking.” He pointed out, his brow creasing with concern.

Why did I push her into this! He berated himself mentally.

“I'm just cold.” She frowned back, which wasn't a complete lie, it was rather nippy out and she had left her jacket in the truck.

“Oh.” Sy gulped at her, setting their snacks down on the empty bench in front of them and peeled off his Five Finger Death Punch hoodie. “Here.” He said, handing her the toasty warm garment.

“Thanks.” She blushed, pulling it on.

The comforting warmth of the fabric settled around her, wrapping her up in Sy's scent of dark vanilla, the fresh cut pine boards he had been working with, fresh air and patchouli, from his beard oil. The tremor vibrating through her body instantly subsided as she huddled herself up inside Sy's hoodie, suddenly feeling safe, safer than she had ever felt in her life before, the murmur of the crowd vanished and everyone melted away, but Sy.

Sy smiled at her, watching as she stopped shaking. “Are you still hungry?” He asked her, picking up the heavy paper plate with the lumpy and sweet pastry dough on it, covered in butter, cinnamon and brown sugar.

“What in the world is that?” She frowned down at it.

“It's called an Elephant Ear.” He chuckled, letting her take the plate from him and picked up his own. “It's delicious.”

“It's as big as one!” She chuckled, balancing it in her lap and pushed up the oversized sleeves of Sy's hoodie, not wanting to get it messy as she tore a piece of the dough off and popped it into her mouth. “Mmm.” She melted, licking her coated lips. “That is sinful.” She moaned, smiling over at Sy, who simply folded his and took a massive bite out of it.

“I told you!” He mumbled around his mouthful, grinning ear to ear.

“I might have to learn how to make these.” Lily said, tearing off a bigger piece and licked her fingers clean of the cinnamon and sugar combination.

“Oh, don't threaten to spoil a man!” Sy laughed, gently touching his shoulder to hers.

“Hey, here she is!” Lily called out, pointing to the girl entering the center of the tent atop a horse. “They look so good together!” She grinned, beaming with her own dose of pride in Skylar and Juniper.

Lily lifted her hand and waved as Skylar looked out over the crowd, she spotted Lily and waved back at her, smiling. Skylar got herself and Juniper into position, taking deep breaths to try and settle her jittery nerves and focus on her task ahead. Skylar was given the signal and she was off, speeding as fast as she and Juniper could go towards the first barrel in front of them. Lily scooted towards the edge of her seat, her half eaten elephant ear forgotten in her excitement. Skylar seemingly sailed through the cloverleaf pattern she had to make around the barrels and back to her mark.

The crowd clapped as she went out, letting the next rider and their horse take their turn at the competition. Lily finished off her elephant ear and sipped at her Dr. Pepper, eyes glued to the beautiful horses and focused riders as they went around and around the barrels, kicking up dirt as they went.

“I really hope she wins.” Lily said, looking at Sy, only to realize he had been watching her the whole time, and not the racers. “What?” She squeaked, eyes wide. “Do I have something on my face?”

“No.” He smiled back, then chuckled. “Well..” He picked up the paper napkin he was given with the elephant ears and gently brushed off a line of brown sugar and cinnamon that Lily had on her cheek. “Just a little sugar.” He told her, softly.

“But, other than that, you're...” He paused for a moment. “Perfect.” He whispered, breathlessly.

Lily gulped and her cheeks warmed, biting the inside of her lip and fidgeted inside Sy's hoodie. “Thank you.” She mumbled back. “For the..” She motioned to her cheek, shyly.

“Of course.” Sy nodded, a tender smile on his lips. “But, I hope she wins too.” He added, turning back to the event.

“All right everybody, it's time to announce the winners for first, second and third place!” The announcer said, standing in the middle of the racing area, a microphone in his hand and a big cowboy hat on his head, as his boots shined with their spurs.

Lily crossed her fingers, making Sy chuckle at her.

“In third place is,” the announcer said, lifting a clipboard he was holding. “Paige Whitley with thirty-four seconds!”

The crowd clapped and whistled as the girl came up and took her ribbon for third place, then stood to one side of the announcer.

“In second place is, Ainsley Ortega with twenty-eight seconds!”

Another round of claps, whistling and yells from the crowd as she took her place beside Paige. There was a moment of pause and the suspense was starting to drive Lily stir crazy as they waited for him to announce the first place winner.

“and the first place winner of the Dallas Heritage Fair is,” He paused for a dramatic affect. “Skylar Marlowe with twenty-one seconds!”

“Yes!” Lily shouted, her arms flying up as she bounced in her seat, overjoyed. “She did it, Sy.” She grinned at him, throwing her arms around his neck, in her moment of overzealous excitement, forgetting herself.

“She did.” Sy grinned, wrapping his arms around her and hugging her back.

He unconsciously turned his face into her hair and took a deep breath, smelling her Lavender and Rosemary shampoo in it. They stayed like that, in a timeless bubble, before they recalled themselves and pulled apart again.

“I'm sorry, I was excited.” Lily blushed, brushing her hair behind her ear.

“Same.” Sy replied, clearing his throat. “I should get you back home now, it's been two hours.” He said, picking up their empty plates, napkins and soda cans, standing.

“I-” Lily froze, watching him dump them into a trash bin nearby. “I don't—mind—staying another hour, if you're not.” She told him, a hard lump in her throat. “I mean, there's so much of the fair I haven't seen, since it's my first time, and you spent a pretty penny on our access bracelets.” She said, lifting her arm, the sleeve of his hoodie slipped down her arm, revealing her red bracelet.

“Be rude and a shame to waste it, don't you think?” She asked, staring at him, shyly.

Sy studied her for a moment, weighing what he knew of her now, but she looked and seemed all right, for the most part, just her usual shy and withdrawn self. “If you want too, Lily. Then, I'm more than all right with staying and showing you the rest of the booths.” He said, his voice soft and—protective.

“I would like that.”

Sy smiled at her, gently, then offered her his arm, which she took. He escorted them out of the tent, with the rest of the fair-goers. Sy took her around the fair ground, stopping at booths that Lily showed interest in. He paused at one booth, seeing all the stuffed animals that were hanging around it and pressed his lips together, before glancing at her and deciding to give it a shot, wanting to win something for her, so when she saw it, she'd remember the fun she had at the fair; and think of him.

It was a shooting game booth, giving the player a minute to hit as many targets as they could, each target was worth a certain amount of points and moved quickly. But, Sy wasn't at all worried, this was his element, his military career made something like this easy. So, he took up the bee-bee rifle that the booth runner gave him, slotted it against his shoulder and held it through pure muscle memory. He patiently waited for the signal for him to start, watching the painted metal targets move on their tracks.

“Ready!” the booth runner called, standing to the side. “Set! Go!”

Sy's body instantly tensed and he started firing, his movement was sharp, quick and calculated, hips and shoulders pivoting as he hit each of the targets, only missing two in the full minute he had. Lily stood beside him, fully impressed by his skill.

“Seven hundred and forty-nine points.” the booth runner read off the scoreboard at the back of the booth. “That's the highest score yet!” He said, impressed himself. “You have a pick of whatever you want, sir.” He told Sy, motioning around to the stuffed animals, some were super teeny, while others were nearly Lily's size.

Sy surveyed the selection of stuffed animals, before a certain one caught his attention and smiled at it, it was perfect for why he wanted it. “That's the one.” He said, pointing out the medium sized, curly furred and light tan, teddy bear.

“A perfect choice, sir.” the booth runner praised him, taking it down and handing it over to Sy.

“Here.” Sy smiled, turning and holding it out to Lily. “He's for you.” He told her, gently, as his heart thundered in his chest.

Lily slowly took the bear from him, it was silk soft and plush, it felt nice under her hands, making her instantly smile as she stared down at it. She was touched that Sy had gone through the trouble of winning the game to get her a prize, no one had ever done something so kind, sweet and thoughtful for her before, it made her a bit emotional.

“Thank you.” She whispered, hugging it to her chest and looked up at Sy. “I love it.” She assured him, seeing the concern in his blue eyes that she wouldn't.

“Good.” He beamed, his heart still thundering, but it felt light and hopeful. “I'm glad.”

It was nearly dark by the time Lily and Sy finished their tour of the fair grounds and headed back to the house. Lily convinced Sy to stay for dinner before he headed back home, wanting to thank him in someway for taking her to the fair and showing her such a good time, something she hadn't had in as long as she could remember.

“Your cooking never fails to amaze me.” Sy chuckled, popping the last bit of his biscuit into his mouth. “It's the definition of a great home cooked meal.” He praised her, leaning back in his chair and rubbing his lean tummy through the fabric of his shirt.

“Well, you have the appetite of a Viking.” She giggled back, blushing at her plate.

Sy laughed again, his own bearded cheeks coloring. “True enough.” He agreed, smiling brightly at her.

“Thank you for taking me today.” Lily said, speaking softly. “I really did have a lot of fun.” She confessed, shyly twisting her napkin in her hands, and thinking of the teddy bear that now took up a prized spot on her bed, upstairs.

“I did too, I'm glad you agreed to go with me.” Sy nodded, tilting his head at her. “Did us both a great deal of good to get out and do something fun.”

“I should let you take off, before it gets too late.” She answered, after a brief moment of silence. “I know it's a long drive.”

Sy cleared his throat, biting the inside of his lip, he didn’t want to bring up staying at the motel down in Celina, so the drive was easier to make and gave him more hours in the day to work on the seemingly endless list of projects that needed to be done, to get the farm back into running order, again. He didn’t want them to argue after such an amazing day.

But, he knew she was right.

“Thanks for dinner.” He said, taking his plate to the sink, wanting a reason to linger a second longer. “Good night, Ms. Lily.” He smiled at her, as they stepped out onto the porch. “I'll see you in the morning.”

“I'll be here, with coffee and breakfast waiting, as always.” She replied, standing barefoot on the smooth and solid board of the porch.

He chuckled, bidding her good night again and got into his truck. As he drove to the motel, he recalled all the smiles she had given him throughout the day and the sound of her victorious laugh, when she beat him at the ring toss game, but sweetly gave him the bracelet she won, making him glance at the macrame, blue and gold turquoise beads weaved with black thread and tied with a slip knot, that hugged his thick wrist. His skin tingled as it remembered the gentle touch of her dainty fingers as she slipped it over his hand to his wrist and tugged it secure.

Sy wasn't a jewelry person, other than his watch and his dog-tags, but for as long as he lived, he vowed to never take that bracelet off.

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rumblelibrary · 3 years

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Hi, I was wondering if you could write a Zemo or Laszlo x reader where he comes home early to find his significant other laying on the couch in their room feeling lonely or depressed and him finding out they felt like this for a while they just kept it hidden form him?

To Stay [Baron Helmut Zemo x Reader]

Word count: 1.9k

Warnings: mention of depression

Author’s note: Not me going through a rough patch and using this request as a catalyst. Thank you for allowing me to write for you, if anyone is on a rough moment too, hold on, I hope I can give you some solace through Helmut.

When Helmut entered your apartment, holding a white little box in his gloved hand he tried hard to make sure to be extra quiet. He was out for some meetings trip, knowing both the politics and the underground ways of the world made him extremely dangerous, but also extremely busy to keep the reins of all his businesses, forcing him to leave you alone more than he wanted.

Lately you have been growing distant, but you worked a lot, you were always onto some personal or work project, so he imagined you were just tired. When he called you, you always sounded tired, sleepy or at least that’s what you said to him.

He looked down at the white box in his hand proudly as he wanted indeed to give you a little treat, he left it on side taking off his coat and gloves before noticing a soft light in the living room.

He moved instinctively, the left hand on his side grasping his gun, the fear that somebody could ever hurt you, no matter all the precautions he took, always hunting him.

He moved quickly along the wall, peaking in only to see your leg hanging out of the couch, the tv turned on but with no sound.

He frowned, it was the middle of the night, maybe you fell asleep. Not sure about his own intuition he moved along the couch finding you awake, your eyes looking puffy but, more than that, empty.

“Y/N”

You jolted up seeing him

“Helmut”

Your words died in your mouth, you wanted to say something, anything, you smiled but your smile was empty, you could feel it but you couldn’t force it more than that.

“Welcome back”

You said as a new wave of hatred for yourself hit on you. He was back from his business travel, he could have never come back, you could at least show some more passion, excitement, anything, But it all died on you as soon as you tried, you felt numb inside, heavy.

You parted your lips, you felt your mouth dry as you opened it a bit mimicking the presence of words that were not there and resulted in just a “I am sorry”

To see you like this was pure torture to his eyes, who dared to reduce you in this way? The confusion and part of anger took over in his chest, but he sat down beside you.

“My love, what happened? “ he asked without many twirls of words, his hand touching onto your ankle as you sat on your side, facing you.

You were stiff under his touch, something was pushing him away within you.

“I… I don’t know, I mean it feels all too much”

A thorn dipped inside his stomach as you said that, his eyes scanning yours silently urging you to continue, to try make him understand

“It is not today” you admitted “it is not you, it is just, it is too much, I have this sense of emptiness, of loss inside, and it keeps growing and I can’t enjoy anything” you continued, tears teasing your eyes as you looked on your right trying to avoid his gaze. Maybe if you avoided it long enough the tears would disappear or maybe he won’t at least not notice how hard it was for you to hod them back.

“I feel like I am grazing through the surface, like there’s something forbidden, something I can’t grasp and it hurts and no matter how much I do, how much I work, how much I study, buy new things, pamper myself, I feel like there’s a void in me that can’t be filled, a flaw that I can’t reach, that I can’t hide or cure and everyday it grows through me and it is so strong and visible, and I feel like..”

You stopped as tears were now rolling down your cheeks, the saddest smile of acceptance adorning your beautiful features in such a cruel way, your tongue slipping out looking for words, words to make him understand. With that little gesture you capture a mean tear that slipped too close to your lips, the salty taste bringing you to realise that for the first time you’re admitting it.

“… like it will become all that I am, and that I won’t ever feel like before ever again but this” you stopped again, shaking your head lightly as your thoughts twirled in your head like a vortex and yet that hole in your stomach was growing more painful and present “this failure”.

Helmut could swear his heart broke, to see you like this, to see you suffer so visibly, so evidently and the way your bust bowed forward like the pain in your mind was damaging your body. The fact he couldn’t just stand up and shot in the face whoever made you feel like this.

His lips pressed hard against each other, his hands moving to reach for yours.

You hesitated, he could see you didn’t want that much of contact, you didn’t want him to hold you, not now.

“Y/N” he begun, he took a deep breath in as in all his life he was a master of words, but he never felt that something he would say could matter so much, not even when he was at the mercy of the very Captain America he felt doubt into choosing his words.

“This feeling that you have, it is the most terrible somebody can feel, I see it, I see your pain” he said softly, he wasn’t going to deny it or diminishing it, he danced the tango with depression for years and he cured it with vengeance and loneliness until you brought a new light on him. He knew that feeling and he knew nothing he could give would be enough to make it disappear.

“Give me the chance to be by your side” he offered then “I love you, I love you no matter how big you feel the flaw is”

“No Helmut, you don’t understand, it won’t ever be over, you will get tired of me and my bullshit. This thing, this doesn’t make me feel you, I feel apart from you”

“No, my love, you don’t understand now” he murmured looking at you, his dark eyes looking warm and lightly teary, your pain going through him as you talked, but his voice tone wasn’t allowing any come back.

“I know how it feels. I know how it feels to lose your path. And that flaw you feel, that creeping feeling of failure, of loneliness, of exclusion, it will be over and it will come back, it will bite you hard and then disappear or linger for days and make you feel like there’s no way out. But I will be with you. I will be with you for the days it leaves and the day it comes. I will be with you to remind you every time you can’t even think of yourself in any positive light, how any feeling of worthlessness you might behold are just due to unbalance, but not reality. To shake, draga mea, it is not to fall, it is instead to find stability. To search for it is no crime, the only crime would be only to listen to it long enough to believe it”

He looked at you in a way that words felt like failing you, the determined love surging through him also adorned with trust enveloped you in a sense of determination, a sense of something that was about to come, to happen, which felt already a lot compared to the sense of an ending you had I the last times.

He trusted you.

The sense of acceptance but also responsibility that he created in you. He was there for you, he was ready to share that strangling demon.

“You won’t disappoint me, you can’t, not even if you try”

He seemed to know what you were about to say before you could say it, you let out a little sigh as his smile opened and you just mimicked him.

His warm hand moved on your cheek caressing it, moving away every trace of tears before leaning his forehead against yours “Breathe in”

You obeyed and as you inhaled he placed your hand on his chest so you could feel how it filled up with air, with life.

“Out slow”

You obeyed after holding that air a bit, his warm presence calling for you.

You didn’t know even if you wanted cuddles or not, he could sense that tension in you as he rested a kiss over your temple

“I love you”

He smiled, it was simple, a statement said so clear and simple that could sound like ‘ the sky is blue’. It was obvious and yet precious. He stood up slowly kissing the back of your hand “Just a moment”

You stared at him as he left but he was back in a second welcomed by the blue light on the screen.

“There” he said holding that same white box he held while coming inside. You took it giving him the chance to rest his weapon on the coffee table.

“Go on” he urged you kindly as he noticed your hesitation, so you did, you opened it and smiled finding ten pastel coloured macaroons in it along with a perfectly laid down bracelet. It was simple, white gold.

“Allow me” he said picking it from the box as he slowly wrapped it around your wrist “The woman from the macaroons shop thought it was a weird request to put the bracelet and the sweets in the same box”

“It is a bit peculiar as a request” you admitted and he smirked like you just complimented him.

“There” he said triumphantly, the bracelet fitting you like it was made to be on your wrist, for just your shape and skin colour. A little reminder for this moment, maybe now every time the demon will knock at your door that bracelet will tell bring the memory of Helmut’s words back to you.

“Now, I have the feeling you’d like to try the mint and chocolate one”

He suggested to you pointing to a green macaroon .

You looked at him, a surprised smile and a soft chuckle leaving your lips.

“It is the middle of the night”

“Well? There’s a time for macaroons?” You chuckled as you just couldn’t win against him, against his knowing smile and chocolate eyes, his warm hands, comforting presence and undying love.

You shifted your legs on the other side as he sat comfortably, legs spread and slightly slouched on the couch, you balanced the box of the sweets on his thigh finding the perfect position by his side, head resting on his chest, his warm arm wrapping around you securely as he picked the remote trying to find something to put on instead of the random program you left the tv on.

Your gaze moved up on him as he did some comment about late night programming, admiration and comfort surging in your chest as his eyes diverted from the screen to you one more time. A loving smile welcomed you and everything felt numb now, but not in the same way as before, like if somebody was pouring disinfectant over a wound and now the wound tickles, but it is healing. It is numb, but now you know it will pass.

Helmut was a true Baron to your eyes, a royal, a knight fighting your inner demons with his sword, banishing them away. Today, tomorrow and every time you needed it.

Tagged @cazzyimagines @lieutenantn @handmaiden-of-mischief @thesunflowersutra @zemomybeloved @fictionlandslanddreams @charistory @greeneyedblondie44 @apparrio @hb8301 @whatawildone @rhymerhymerhyme @thehuiabird @lilith-blackrose @unbeatablecurlgirl

Let me know if you want to get tagged to my publications too <3

#baron helmut zemo x you #baron zemo x you #baron zemo x y/n #baron helmut zemo x reader #baron zemo x reader #baron zemo #baron helmut zemo #helmut zemo fanfiction #helmut zemo x y/n #helmut zemo imagine #helmut zemo x reader #helmut zemo #helmut zemo x you

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artaxerxesthegreat · 3 years

Text

This chapter talks about unprotected sex, mentions ‘Roofie’, kidnapping and assault. If you don’t want to see any of this please DO NOT READ THIS. I don’t want anyone feeling uncomfortable or getting triggered. It also has someone answering the phone while driving, PLEASE DON’T DO THIS!

A/N: Everyone in this story is 18+, if minors are mentioned they aren’t getting in any weird, sick, twisted situations with adults. I also use female pronouns for the reader and the reader may be a bit OC. I would also prefer that minors DO NOT interact with this at all. Thank you.

Warnings: Dream based, Actors mixed with characters, College AU!, Mixed universes, Raffey Cassidy stands in as Sprite, Swearing, gaslighting, manipulation, cheating, mild violence (?), implied sexual content, mentions of bullying, college strife, MCU/X-Men/Spider-Man/Actors mashed in one universe, self- doubt, insecurities, depression, angst, fluff, enemies to lovers, slow burn, family issues, mentions of disabilities, )… I’ll probably be adding more warnings as the story goes on. (Please let me know if I’ve missed something too.)

Playing with Fire: Part 5

Part 5

Placing my phone on the nightstand I feel the weight of sleep pulling at me, before my head hits the pillow again I’m already asleep.

——-

“So how did working with Barry go?” A voice sounds far away, but I’m too caught up in my mind to hear it. “Y/N?”

“Hmm? Oh, Kitty, hey what’s up?”

“Are you okay? You look… lost?” She places a hand on my shoulder.

“Ehhh, I’m alright, just lost in my thoughts… It's nothing bad, don’t worry. What was your question?”

“Your project? With Barry, how’d it go?”

“Barry? Oh! Bar- right ha! It- it was fine. We passed with flying colors.” I say smiling a bit too happily.

“Really? How’d you get him to work with you?” Skeptically Kitty looks at me not buying my story.

“We decided to stop acting childish and focus on getting a good grade. Plus I made the assignment fun.”

“Ahhhh thought so… lol.”

I roll my eyes at her but smile. The project was one of the most fun ones I’ve ever done, I wasn’t expecting it to go so well but Druig proved to be a great partner- even gave his own ideas on how to present it to the class. What I didn’t see coming was him offering to make it a musical; Hadestown.

….3 Weeks ago….

“Dude, Hadestown is already a thing, we can’t use it, but nice try.” I look up from my notebook, which I’ve been filing with doodles and ideas for the play. I feel Druig place his chin on my left arm pouting that I’ve shot down his idea.

“Oh, come on Dote, how many people do you think actually know what Hadestown is in that class? Pretty sure Picard doesn’t know.”

He lifts his head from my arm before I can shake him off, but I wasn’t going to- not something I normally do, but he’s different. So how.

“Picard? You mean Professor X?”

Druig nods his head typing something on his phone.

“Why did you call him ‘Picard’?” Leaning back at my chair I try to picture the two men in my head.

“You don't see it?”

I squint my eyes at him, shaking my head, turning his phone to me. I see a picture of a man who looks almost exactly like our Professor, the only major difference is that Picard is standing, and much younger… but still old? Weird.

“Woooooow, the resemblance is uncanny, do you think he knows?” I hold his phone zooming in on the man's face.

“No idea, I haven’t asked yet, but I’m 98.4687% sure this man is Professor X.”

“98.46- really? Either way I don’t think the Professor was an actor.” I pass him his phone, not convinced our teach was an actor. I mean Mr. Kingo is but that’s different.

“I don’t know, Captain Picard is known for his immense love of Shakespeare.” Druig says in a singsong voice. “What’s the harm in asking?”

“If you want to ask him you can. You don’t need my permission.”

“I wasn’t askin’. Just imformin’.”

“InforminG. ING. There’s a ‘g’ in ‘I-n-g’.”

“Whatever.” He shoves me in the seat and I catch myself by grabbing onto his arm. Pulling myself back up I shove him back, and it turns into a weird game of ‘trying-to-get-the-other-person-to-fall’; our laughter fills the study room and a few students look at us through the glass door. Some are smiling while others are clearly annoyed.

“Okay, okay, shhh shhhh. We’re in a library.” I try to laugh quietly grabbing Druig’s hands in mine. Clearly not done fooling around he gets his hands free and tries to tickle me. “No, no no no no no nononononoooOOO!!!! Druig! Stop it! Stop it now!”

“DrUiG sToP iT! StOp It NoW!” He mocks.

“Oh! You!” I gasp out glaring at him. “You!”

“That’s the best you got, Dote?” He continues to try and tickle me effectively getting closer to me, our faces are close and my breathing shallows. He smiles unbothered by our proximity- or maybe he just hasn’t noticed. The latter seems to be the case, as his smiling face becomes almost solemn as he looks at me. Neither of us say anything, we just stare at each other, searching for something. His eyes fall to my lips and that’s when my voice returns.

“PROJECT.” His eyes snap back to mine at my outburst. Still searching my face for… something… he moves back slightly smirking and turning back to his phone.

“Since you don’t like musicals, what ideas do you have?” He says never taking his eyes off of his phone. Bringing myself back I turn to my notebook and point to my idea.

“And it’s not that I don’t like musicals I just don’t think that-“

“Modern day?” He cuts me off peering at my notebook.

“Uh, yeah.” I bite my lip trying to mask my hurt. I know this is only the second time we meet, but it just seemed different. I can’t explain it but I woke up feeling… Feeling, daring. I wanted to do something out of the ordinary today, and it didn’t matter what it was or who it was with… As long as it wasn’t illegal or anything. That being said, I just wasn’t ready to be another number in Druig’s body count. I may be feeling reckless, but I’m not stupid, my morals are still in play.

“So I’ll be Hades as a modern man?”

“No. I’ll be Hades and you’re going to be Persephone.”

“Excuse me?”

“You’re excused, just remember to practice Persphone’s lines.” I say closing my notebook packing my things.

‘I’m not playing Persephone.” He sits up straight faced, completely serious.

“Oh relax you’ll be a great Persephone. It’s something they won't expect and it shows that men can be victims too.”

He looks at me skeptically and I get the feeling that he isn't convinced.

“I know men can be victims, but why do I have to be Persephone?”

“Do you have a reason not to be her?” A beat of silence passes as he narrows his eyes at me. “I take it that your silence means you’ll be playing Persephone?”

“Yeah alright, whatever.” He sighs, “In the original telling of the story Hades forces himself on Persephone; how do you propose we go about that?”

“Flowers!”

“Flowers?”

“Flowers~!”

“…You’ve lost me.”

“Think about it, she was picking flowers, minding her own business, when Hades comes along and takes advantage of her, and in the process destroys her flowers. We could say that the flowers represent her purity and innocence.”

“Alright, I’m going to be picking flowers and you’ll be doing what?”

“I don’t know, staring at you from a distance?” I shrug clearly out of ideas.

Druig shifts in his seat thinking of how we could present Hades to the class. “According to the Greeks, Hades was one of the more calm gods, and yet he ravished Persephone. What?”

“What?”

“You cringed when I said ‘ravished’. See! You did it again.” He points at my face smirking, as I smack his hand away.

“It’s such a weird word, but continue please.”

“I don't think we should follow the play as it is, especially if we’re presenting it to our peers.”

“What do you mean?”

“In the play Persephone is seen almost like a child, so much so that she’s more concerned about her flowers than she is about herself, no college woman is going to act like that- none that I’ve met anyway.”

“So what do you suggest?”

“Let’s say they meet at a college party; You being Hades seems the most beautiful, gorgeous, sexy man you’ve ever seen across the room. The God of Spring. Me!” He spreads his arms out wide smiling, waiting for me to say something; biting my tongue I opt to wait for him to finish. “So as you know- or maybe you don’t, I’ve never seen you at any parties- slipping things into people's cups is a big issue.”

“Oh my god, you’ve witnessed this?!”

“No. But that doesn’t mean it hasn’t happened, we could imply that the Goddess of the Underworld-“

“Roofied Persephone.” We say at the same time. I sit staring at him thinking about his idea; to be fair it is an issue, and to bring it out in the open would be good, but at the same time I don’t know if we should.

“You hate it.” He states plainly.

“No, no. I’m just thinking, it’s not an easy topic, Druig.”

“That’s the point!”

I’m stunned into silence by how strongly he feels about this and I can’t help but feel that there’s more to this than he lets on.

“Okay, if you think we should then we will. Just wear Spring colors or something.”

His face is blank as he looks deep into my eyes trying to see if I’m messing with him or not. Satisfied that I’ve agreed with him he nods his head and we sit in silence for a bit before my phone dings. Picking it up I see that Loki texted me.

….Present Day….

“So why do you look so sad?”

“What? I said I was fine, I’m not sad. Just… Conflicted. That’s all.”

Kitty fixes me with a look and I know she doesn’t believe me- hell I wouldn’t even believe me. I start to think about the text Loki sent me. If only he hadn’t asked me to go with him, that incident never would’ve happened, and I wouldn’t feel like shit.

“Dammit Loki!” I hiss through gritted teeth.

“What did he do?” Kitty leans towards me concerned, “If I have to kill him I will!”

“No, no, he didn’t do anything wrong per se.”

“Explain.”

“I- I had…” I hang my head in embarrassment, “Sex.”

When I don’t hear anything from Kitty I look up and she’s staring at me trying to process what I just said, before I can say anything her face changes between shock, happiness, confusion and then anger.

“Please tell me it wasn’t with Loki.” She glares at me hard.

“No, not Loki!” I wave my hands frantically in front of me.

“Oh thank god! Ooo girl you scared me. Well, if not him then who?” She lets out a gasp before grabbing my shoulders pulling me close to her she whispers, “Was it Barry?”

“No.” I say straight faced.

“Then who? I’m so confused now. How many people do you know? Was it Pietro?”

“No, you don’t know him.”

“OH MY GOD! HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE?!?!?” I close my eyes at her outburst and wait for her to calm down.

“Can you not be so loud, I’d prefer if the whole campus didn’t know about my life.”

“Sorry, well what’s his name? How’d you meet him?”

Memories of 3 weeks ago rush back to my mind again.

“Damn you Loki.”

….3 Weeks ago….

LOKI✨🐍

“Time to cash in that favor, Bast.”

Rolling my eyes I put down my phone dreading whatever craziness Loki’s cooked up this time.

“What is it?”

“Nothing just Loki making good on the deal we made.”

Druig lets out a hum chuckling as he begins texting someone on his phone. “What do you think he’ll make you do?”

“I have no idea, with Loki you can be sure to know that it’ll either get you in trouble or expelled.”

“Not necessarily, it just depends on how good you are at not getting caught.”

“Well that sounds like you two have done a lot of stuff.”

“Of course!” He turns winking at me, I roll my eyes but my stomach flutters, which is not making me happy. Why is this happening to me? Why him?

“I hope it’s nothing crazy! I don’t have the energy for crazy.” I put my head in my hands and the door to our study room it flung open as Loki comes in less than pleased.

“I texted you and you didn’t respond!”

“Uuuuuuuggggggggggghhhhhhhh!” I groan out, head still in my hands.

“Don’t ‘uuuggghhh’ me!” He sits in the chair in front of us and proceeds to poke my head.

“What Loki? What do you want me to do?” I quickly sit up glaring at him.

“What makes you think I want you to do anything my dear.” He smirks slightly sitting back in his chair. I fix him a glare and he laughs nodding his head. “Alright, fair enough my lovely Bast. I need you to accompany me to a small little get together.”

“Like… a date?”

“If you want to call it that, then yes, a date.”

“Ummm, okay?”

“Don’t sound so excited Y/N.” He deadpans, crossing his arms. “I’ll have you know this is your safest bet; trust me you don’t want to know what I was going to originally ask of you.”

“Mmm. Alright, guess I’ll be your plus one then?”

“Good, it's nothing fancy, just casual.”

“Awe Y/N has a date. They grow up so fast.” Druig chimes looking at us grinning.

“Oh please, this isn’t her first rodeo.” Loki says, waving his hand dismissively as he stands up ready to leave. “You should’ve seen her in high school.”

“OKAY! So when is this?” I try steering the conversation elsewhere.

“In the Psychology building, tonight at 6. Don’t be late.” He walks out the door leaving Druig and myself in an awkward silence. Awkward for me, not him.

“Sooooooo, what was Y/N like in high school?” He asks with a sly smile on his face.

“Nothing, if you were meant to know then you would have. Good day Druig.” I swiftly gather my belongings and hasten out the door.

“Good day?” Druig laughs jogging up to me. “Who even says that anymore?”

“Can you not?”

“No, I can’t.” He smiles walking close so my shoulder bumps his arm, I let out a frustrated sigh. “What is it?”

“Nothing, I need to go get ready for a date apparently.”

“It’s just Loki, and it’s 4 o’clock you’ve got time. Hang out with me.”

My speed walking slows to a stop as I take in his words.

“Hang out? With you? You and me? Together?”

“Yes.” He chuckles, taking my bag from my shoulder and putting it on his, grabbing my hand, he leads me to the lobby, I swallow thickly as I realize some students are looking at us and many of them are not pleased. The many being girls who seem to think I shouldn’t be with Druig- well, technically Barry, I don’t think anyone knows his real name, except for a handful of people. They may never get to know the Irish blued eyed babe that is Druig.

“Wait what?”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” Growing steadily uncomfortable with all the unwanted attention I pull my hand out of his grasp, he looks at me confused as I hold my hand out for my backpack. His hand tightens on the strap of my backpack that’s still slung on his shoulder, he glances around meeting the eyes of those who were staring, fixing them a special kind of glare making them flinch and look away.

“Because of them? Fuck ‘em.”

“I’d rather not, not my style. Unlike someone.” I mumble the last part but he hears it clear as day, his face is blank but there’s a storm raging in his eyes. I may not know him well, but I know I crossed a line, but I know I’m also right. “Can I have my bag please?”

Without saying a word he hands me my bag and lets it go before I can get a good grip on it. Thankfully I grab it before it hits the floor, and deciding to ignore his behavior I thank him and walk out of the double doors and to my car. Sitting in my car I begin to debate whether or not I should go back and apologize.

“Maybe I should just text him.” I sigh, taking out my phone, glancing up I spot him and another girl walking out of the library together. I quickly see that she was one of the girls that was giving me dirty looks; shaking my head I bite the inside of my cheek as I watch her basically trying to become a second skin on him, and he’s just laughing and going along with it. Clenching my jaw I throw my phone on the passenger seat making it bounce to the floor. “Asshole!”

Pulling out of the parking lot I go to my dorm to get ready for Loki’s date.

Stepping out of my suite bathroom I look at my clothing options.

“I don’t feel like wearing a dress or skirt, guess it’s jeans then.” Picking up some light washed jeans I look through my blouses. “Well, he did say it wasn’t fancy, maybe I can wear a t-shirt and call it a day? You know what? Screw it, I’m gonna look cute tonight, because I can!”

Grabbing my cutest blouse I fix up my eyebrows, and hair and put on some chapstick.

“I need this more than lipstick right now. Why didn’t I drink more water today?”

Picking up a cardigan I look at myself in my roommates floor length mirror,

“Oh yeah~, she cute… I mean she’s always cute, but NOW! She’s cute-cute.”

Turning off the light I walk to my car and drive to the Psychology building and spot Loki sporting a deep green blazer with gold trim, a white dress shirt with a gold chain, and black slacks and the shiniest black dress shoes I’ve ever seen.

“What the fuck Loki? What happened to ‘not being fancy’?” I stomp over to him not feeling so cute anymore.

“What, this? This isn’t fancy.” He holds his arm out for me, smiling he adds, “You look lovely.”

“Yeah whatever.” I loop my arm with his as he walks us in the building.

“I am being completely serious Y/N. You look wonderful, 100% like you, I’m only dressed like this because I’m on the committee and we need to ‘show up’ a bit more than everyone else.” He sends me a wink and we enter the room. “Would you like a drink? We have many different options to choose from. You can try varying juices from Jamaica all the way to Cuba; and if juice isn’t your thing you can always walk to England and have a spot of tea.”

“What is this?” I laugh out taking in the different smells of food and the outfits the people were wearing at their tables. We walk past the tables and I spot a few foods I know I’m going to try later, I see a few girls dressed in traditional Huipil, Saris, and Kimonos and others wearing their traditional garbs that I don’t know the name of. But the one that caught my eye, was the man wearing a green and blue kilt with red and white design on it; he was very familiar but I couldn’t see his face, since he was talking on the phone facing away from us.

Loki’s voice pulls my attention back, “This is our ‘Cultural Exchange Program’. Every semester the Psychology department brings all our different cultures together to help to educate those who think America is the only country in the world-”

“Not one comma Loki, not a one.” He ignores my comment and continues.

“-not only that but it provides those of us who are missing home, to bring home here. Here, have some tea, it’s Earl Grey and hot.”

“Thank you kind sir.” I take a sip of tea and Loki brings me chair, kissing my cheek, he walks to the door greeting the students coming in. Sure enough everyone else is dressed casually and comfortably- not to brag, but Loki was right, compared to everyone else, I look lovely. Finishing up my tea I began perusing the different literature on the tables closest to me, and slowly made my way around the room. There were about 20 different countries on display, each with about 3-4 tables holding a variety of foods, drinks, games, history and clothing that you can buy; by the time Loki found his way back to my side I was one table away from Scotland.

“There you are, Bast. It’s been about an hour. Enjoying everything thus far?”

“Yes! This is great, you should’ve told me we could buy clothes! I left my wallet in my room.” I bump his shoulder playfully.

“Don’t worry, I’ll hook you up love.” He winks as we begin walking to Scotland; finally I see the mans face and butterflies stir in my stomach as I recognize that smile.

“A kilt huh? Never thought I’d ever get to see one in real life.” Blue eyes shift from the girl in front of him to me and he does a double take. I tilt my head in recognition to him and he does the same, but not before his eyes sweep over my form, taking in as much as he can- unashamed I might add, and I’m here for it.

“I guess that’s something you can check off your bucket list then.”

“Oh god that ACCENT!”

“I never did get your name.” He puts all his focus on me and the poor girl is left to fend for herself, Loki rolls his eyes and goes to help the girl.

“That’s because I didn’t give it.” I give him a flirtatious smile leaning against the table. “But I’d take yours if you let me.”

“Hmmm, well how ‘bout I give you mine instead?” He leans forward matching my smile. Mild panic fills me unsure if I said that last bit out loud, “I’m Richard, pleasure to meet you…?”

“Oh uh, Y/N.” I shake his hand as I breathe a sigh of relief, and quickly scan for Loki, who has disappeared.

“You alright, love?” Concern is visible in his eyes and I stop myself from swooning at the term of endearment.

“Love huh?” I tease quickly glancing at our hands, it’s obvious that he knows that we’re holding hands now but he doesn’t let go; instead he gently rubs his thumb across my knuckles. I raise a brow, smirking at him, “Oh, you’re just a flirt aren’t you?”

“What’re you talking about?” He feigns ignorance, stepping around the table to stand next to me.

“Uh- huh okay.” I gently pull my hand from him and we stare at each other in a comfortable silence, we must have been staring for too long because someone coughs next to me. Looking at the person, it's another student waiting for help. “You should get back to your job.”

“Yeah.” He says sheepishly, he apologizes to the student who just rolls their eyes at him.

Walking back to England I wait for Loki to show up again; after he helped the girl he disappeared once again, and even with his flashy clothes he couldn’t be seen with the crowd. A lot more students showed up than I had previously thought, as I scan the crowd I hear a familiar laugh.

“Pietro, what’re you doing here?” I walk over to him and his sister Wanda who is there with her boyfriend Vision.

“Hey Y/N, I have to be here.” He rolls his eyes.

“Yes his grade depends on it,” Wanda chimes smiling at me, “We’re here to make sure he actually came.”

“HA! I can’t believe your baby sister has to babysit you still.”

Pietro rolls his eyes at me groaning, but he knows I’m right. I begin to walk around with them; somewhere along the way I link arms with Pietro and we all make our way to Scotland. When Richard sees me he smiles brightly, but once he takes in the sight of Pietro and I his smile falters. Vision asks him a question pulling his attention and I feel uneasy, I mean I’m single I don’t have to feel uncomfortable by his stare, but it felt like I was cheating on him. And that doesn’t make any sense since I only just found out what his name was 20 minutes ago. Letting go of Pietro’sa arm I step away from him trying to be inconspicuous, which I failed at because Pietro gives me a questioning look; I give him a quick smile and he looks at Richard and then me: a devilish grin spreads on his face as he puts two and two together. Grabbing my arm he pushes me closer to Richard and whispers something to Wanda, who glances at me.

“Oh geez.” I rub my forehead trying to ignore the twins.

“Viz, come on, I saw something in Columbia that I wanted to buy.” Wanda tugs at Vision’s arm, confused he try’s to tell her that he’s asking questions about Scotland, but Wanda wins out and the three of them walk into the crowd to Columbia.

Richard and I share a look, I open my mouth to say something but he turns his head away before anything can be said; I didn’t think I could feel like shit with a person I barely know, but I’ve been wrong before.

Clearing my throat I start to walk to the door, feeling a hand grab mine I stop and see that it’s Loki.

“Don’t look so disappointed, Bast. It hurts my feelings.” He smirks at me.

“It’s not that I just thought- It’s not important, but I’m gonna head out now.”

“Already?”

“I’ve been here for an hour and change, plus you didn’t say how long I had to stay, just that I had to show up.”

“My gods, I’m losing my touch!”

“Oh brother, you’re fine Loki.” I laugh rolling my eyes, “I’ll just be outside for a bit. Getting some fresh air, does that sound better?”

“Much.” He gives me a dazzling smile and walks me outside, “If you want me to take you home I’ll take you.”

“Fresh air will do for now, babes.” Kissing my cheek he walks back inside and I’m left to my own thoughts, “Great. The inside of my mind is the last place I want to be right now.”

I decide to walk around and clear my head, taking a breath I listen to the sounds of the night; a frog croaking near the pond, crickets chirping in the grass, and in the trees are a few fireflies blinking their little butts- I know they aren’t actually their butts, but it’s where butts would be, sooooooo butts. Taking a seat on a bench near the pond I watch the fountains’ changing lights, the sounds of approaching steps has me looking behind me. A few students are walking towards the gazebo past me, giggling about who knows what. Smiling softly I lean my head on the bench and close my eyes. I know this is a bad idea, because of how peaceful it is here I’m bound to fall asleep and let me tell you that is not something you want to do on this campus. There have been a few reports about people being kidnapped and assaulted, most of which take place at night in secluded areas. It’s not something Director Fury takes lightly and with Officer Danvers, Officer Rambeau, Officer Coulson and the other officers this campus has gotten tighter with security and they patrol more often, but stuff still happens. They even say to make sure you aren’t by yourself, and if you are to find someone you trust or get to your room quickly.

Opening my eyes I sit up looking around once more; the students are still in the gazebo (probably making out or something), the frogs’ still croaking, crickets are still chirping, but the fireflies are gone. I frown and walk back to the Psychology building, reaching the steps I turn and debate on just going back to my room.

“No, I said I’d just get some air… I’ll just tell him I’m leaving now.”

“Tell who?”

I was not expecting to hear a voice behind me and definitely not so close to me, not thinking I whirl around and punch whoever it is in the face. Time seemed to move really slowly as my fist went flying towards his nose, thinking about it now I’ve actually heard this voice before and I know his face.

“Oh no, it’s-”

‘BAM’

“Richard!”

“AAWWH JESUSCHRISTJOSEPHANDMARY!” He screams out holding his nose, I can’t help the snort that comes from me, quickly covering my mouth I try to compose myself.

“I am sooooo sorry, I didn’t know it was you until- oh my gosh, are you okay?”

“You punch like a man.”

“…Thank you…?”

“Mhmm, geez… Am I bleeding?”

“No idea, you’ve yet to move your hands.” I smirk at him gently moving his hands away, “No you’re all good. Might be a bit sore. Sorry again.”

“It’s my fault, I should've made my presence known beforehand, God I feel like a creep.”

“Well, I’m not really gonna argue with that, you were creeping.” He looks at me unamused, “What?! You were, you even said so yourself.”

“…Yeah.” He rubs the back of his neck, “Can I make it up to you?”

“If you want? Sure, I guess. I was thinking about asking you the same thing. I punched you in the face.” I giggle out, “Need an ice pack? I think my roommate might have some in the freezer.”

“Your roommate punches people a lot?” We start walking to my car, and I completely forget about Loki.

“No, her boyfriend thinks he’s invulnerable or something.” Unlocking the doors I slide into the drivers side, “He’s an idiot really, I have no idea how he hasn’t broken any bones yet. His friends aren’t any better either, but it’s not my business.”

“You aren’t friends?”

“Nope! And I don’t want to be, one Odinson is enough for me.” I pull out of the parking lot and drive to my dorm.

“Odinson? You mean Thor?”

“Yeah, but I’m talking about Loki.”

“Thought his name was ‘Laufeyson’?”

“It is but I knew him when it was Odinson, so meeh.” I stick my tongue out at him as I park, “Oh shit! I didn't tell Loki I was leaving. I’ll just text him later.”

“Do you always tell him where you’re going?”

“Hm? Oh, no but this was like a date night for us and I left without telling him I was going.”

“A date?!”

“Yes, well no, but yes.”

“I’m confused.”

“Welcome to my life!” Smiling, I get out of the car, locking it we make our way to the elevator, “What’s the matter?”

“Nothing, I just thought…”

“Thought Pietro was my boyfriend?” I give him a knowing smile as he bashfully nods his head, “Yeah I gathered that with the glare you gave me.”

“I didn’t glare at you!”

“Oh, yes you did.”

‘DING’

Stepping into the elevator I push my floors’ button as Richard tries to come up with an excuse of some kind, rolling my eyes, I pull him inside.

“It’s fine, really, just forget about it. We just met and don’t know a thing about each other.”

“…Would you like to?” He asks after a while, the elevator dings on the wrong floor as two more people step inside.

“Mmmmm sure, why not?” I shrug stepping off on the next floor, “My room is down this way.” Opening the door I turn on the lights and direct him to the couch, “Here you go. Would you like something to drink?”

“Thank you, and yes please.” He leans his head on the back of the couch placing the ice pack on his face, “So~.”

“So~?” I lift up the ice pack, “Here you go.”

“Thank you. Orange juice, you don't have anything a little stronger?” A teasing grin is on his face.

“I can add soda and you can use your imagination.” Not sure why but I reach over and pat his head, he’s taken aback by it, but he lets it happen.

“Hmmm, I don’t know if I want to add soda. Why are you patting my head?”

I shrug my shoulders making an ‘I don’t know’ sound and continue to pat.

“Are you going to stop?”

“Do you want me to?”

“…Nah.” He says taking a sip of juice. Laughing I stop and take a seat next to him, we sit in an awkward kind of silence before I say,

“Okay, I have no idea what I’m doing. I’ve literally never asked anyone I’ve punched in the face to come to my room, and I don’t make new friends, all of my friends came to me, not the other way around.”

A small smile spreads across his face at my confession, “That’s alright, I’ve never really been good at making friends myself. It’s all so awkward and weird. Like, you want to have the person like you, but then you aren’t being true to yourself and it’s like walking on eggshells.”

“Yes! Exactly, thank you! Finally someone gets it. My mom’s been telling me to go out and make friends, but when I tell her what you just said I’m being weird and need to get over myself. Ugh mothers.”

“Mmmm that might just be yours, love.”

“… Eh, fair enough.”

We begin to fall into a rhythm of conversation- talking about everything and nothing which felt so natural, all of my walls seemingly vanish as two hours go by. By the fifth hour- which has consisted of orange juice, pizza and ice cream I ask the unthinkable.

“You wanna have sex?”

“What?”

“Holy. Crap. SHIT! WHAT THe aCTUAL FUcK~! Y/N!!!!”

“Whaaa~aaat?” I avoid eye contact and getting up quickly I take my dishes to the kitchen, “Where the heck is Jane? It’s like 11:30.”

“Y/N?” Standing up he grabs his dishes and makes his way over.

“No, no, you can leave them there, I’ll get them.”

Too late, he’s already next to me staring at me. Skillfully (not really) I grab his dishes, place them in the sink and continue to avoid eye contact.

“Are you going to keep not looking at me?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, I’m washing dishes, something that requires me looking at them.” I focus hard on my task, “But I can spare you a glance. See?”

Huffing out a laugh he leans on the counter as we look at each other, because I’m not really paying attention to the plate in hand, it slides out of my grasp and breaks in the sink.

1…

2…

3…

“And that’s why you don’t take your eyes off the dishes!” I rinse the soap off my hands and go to pick up the pieces.

“I’m sorry, here let me, it’s my fault.” Reaching in he grabs the pieces from me.

“Alright, the trash can is behind you.” Drying my hands I lean against the kitchen sink, “Okay I gotta ask.”

“Ask what?” He stops in his tracks with wide eyes.

“Why do you look like that?”

“Like what?”

“Like you did something wrong. That isn’t what I wanted to ask by the way.”

“Oh, I don’t know. What was your actual question?”

“Are you wearing underwear?”

1…

2…

3…

4…

“Ummmmm.”

“Never mind, forget I asked-”

“-No.”

“I see…Okay, then.”

1…

2..-

“You wanna have sex?”

1..-

“Yes.”

….Present Day….

“…WWWHAATT!! THE FU~CK?!”

“Sssssshhhhhhh! Damn Kitty!”

“I just!- I can’t- You had- With someone you just!- How? HOw? HHOOOWWWAAAHHH?!”

“I- I don’t know? It just happened! What was I supposed to do? I asked him first!”

“I know, I know but I just! I- I just!” She stares at the floor with wide eyes holding the sides of her head, as if she just had a brain freeze, “Oh my god! Please tell me you used protection!”

1…

2…

3…

Her eyes get wider.

4…

5…

Her mouth falls open.

6…

I hang my head and groan.

7…

“Y/NNNNNN!!!!! Baby, no! You don’t- I cannot believe THIS! Come on!” She grabs my arm and pulls me up.

“What, where are we going?”

“To get you a pregnancy test and make you an appointment with an OBGYN!”

“Oh my god Kitty calm down! It’s not that serious.” I yank my arm away.

“Yes, yes it is! When was the last time you had sex?”

1…

2…

3…

4…

“…never…”

5…

6…

7…

8…

“Kitty?”

9…

10…

11…

12…

“You… Never? Ever? He.” Her face goes from shock to anger very quickly, “I’m gonna kill him!”

“Ah come on Kitty, it’s not that serious, okay. Plus I had a great time, it was fine. And I’m not gonna have little versions of myself running around any time soon.”

“I’ll have you know the “Pull Out” game means nothing to Mother Nature, you wanna fuck around fine, but fuck around with protection- while you have protection! Saying it like that sounds wrong.”

“I’m glad you caught it. Besides just because we didn’t use a condom doesn’t mean anything, I’m on the pill, dude.”

“Well, that’s good, but I just want you to be safe.” She gives me a tight hug.

“I know and I will be. I promise.” I squeeze her back just as tightly. “But I don’t mind seeing an OBG.”

“Alright let’s go! Wow, I can’t believe you did the do.” She bumps shoulders with me as we walk to the parking lot.

“Honestly I can’t either.”

“So, how was it?”

“Fine? I guess. I don’t have anything to compare it to… Maybe I can ask Loki?”

“Don’t you dare!” We climb into her car and make our way into town, “Wait, you said you felt conflicted, was it because you had a one night stand?”

“…Well, it wasn’t a one night stand, exactly.” I give her a nervous smile.

“Are you seeing each other?”

“Kind of?”

“Why do you sound unsure?”

“And this is where I feel conflicted. I haven’t told Dru- Barry.”

“Huh?!? Why would that matter? It’s not like you guys talking or anything… Are you?!”

“No no no no. No! We aren’t, but he keeps asking me to hang out with him, but I- ugh I just don’t… know if it’s a good idea?”

“Y/N.”

“Hmm?”

“How do you feel about Barry?”

Stunned silence is all I can give her, that’s exactly the thing I’ve been trying to avoid, confront, think about, see- I’ve just been ignoring possible scenarios about Druig and myself because…

“Because I have Richard! Why would I focus on another person when I’m having fun with Richard? That just doesn’t seem fair to me, so I forget my troubles and worries (and feelings) and focus on my Scotsman.” I just wish I said all of this to Kitty, thankfully she can’t press the issue due to her phone ringing. Sighing I rest my head back on the headrest and one thought pops in my mind.

“I should really stop pretending I’m having sex with Druig when it’s Richard.”

Fuck.

—————

Tag list: @aquanova99 @tompetersebbuckyhazleo @slytherin-shitposts @treaclesquirrel

Moving across the country is hard, but moving with a 6 month old is even harder. Writing has been hard since I haven’t been getting many ideas, not only that but I’ve also been working on some other fics; one being my Floop x OC (I’m excited to share that one). Hopefully I can post more for this story, but we’ll see, I really do want to finish it. For anyone who read it I hope you like’d it!

#druig #eternals #fanfiction #college au #druig x reader #druig x you #playing with fire #angst #marvel #enemies to friends to lovers #marvel x you #marvel x reader #ikaris #Ikaris x reader #Ikaris x y/n #kitty pryde #Loki #college life #mild violence

29 notes · View notes

thefanficmonster · 3 years

Note

I may or may not have just sent the 3 word challenge in my real account instead of anon... I'm sorry. Please don't answer there. :)

When you post, post answering here please.

Again, much love,

📚🌻

Don't worry dear! Your identity shall remain a secret 🥰 Here's yet another fic with my Resident Evil OC: Gwen Winters (she’s an adult guys, don’t worry. However this is still an Older Man/Younger Woman relationship)

The words dear 📚🌻 Anon gave me in their previous ask were: Unruly, endurable and system. Please enjoy!

What happens in the gym....

Pairing: Chris Redfield x Female OC

Warnings: Swearing, Spoiler Free 😊

Genre: Angsty Romance

“Sure, throw me in the fire like you always do, Leon!“ Chris snaps, clenching his fists tightly as he glares at his best friend while the two stand in the dimly lit gym.

“Chris, you’re a BSAA captain, for the love of God! You should know better than to complain about something as little as this!“ Leon, while significantly calmer tone and demeanor-wise, is glaring daggers of his own.

“Why me, damn it?! And why her?!“ Chris is not done with his attempts to get out of the situation Leon’s trying to land him in and his partner’s honestly done with it.

“And why not?! You see the same potential I see, why would it be so hard to train her? She’s a quick learner, she’s disciplined when she wants to be and she’s already skilled to a certain degree. You’ve made soldiers out of total wimps before, why is she such a hassle to you?!“

“Because she’s disciplined when she wants to be and I guarantee she won’t want to when she’s around me. She’s unruly, selfish, arrogant and a Chris-phobe. I’m telling you, she hates me!“

It’s about time Leon’s had enough of this conversation. To be honest, he was done with it as soon as it started but he stayed, thinking he’d be able to change Chris’ mind but seeing as how this is a hopeless case, he’s just been wasting his time. “Does she? Or are you projecting your hate for her onto her?” Slinging his duffel bag containing his training gear over his shoulder, Leon finally makes that realization that these are ten minutes of his life he’ll never get back and storms out of the gym without another word.

Chris doesn’t attempt to stop him, in fact, he’s relieved he left. He sighs, silently hating himself for all the shit he said and how he meant none of it. It was all hard bullshit and he doesn’t know whether to be thankful or disappointed that Leon didn’t realize. Either way, he’s been cleared of possible suspicion, even if training the newest BSAA rookie still remains as his task.

Gwen Winters, she’s such a fucking handful. One cannot tell if it’s because she’s angry with the world, angry with herself or just straight up picked up on the habits of the family that took her in when she was rescued from Raccoon City where she was held as an experiment hamster. A chemistry project basically. Ethan and Mia were recovering from the events back in Louisiana at the time, still probably are, that is not some shit you get over, so they thought having another person in the house would help them. And help Gwen did. See, Gwen isn’t a handful with everyone. In fact, she’s a real sweetheart and Chris knows it too, despite his bogus claims. He knows she’s got a heart and soul of gold and is built with the will of a BSAA soldier already. All she needs is a bit better fighting skills and she’s good to go.

He sees how she acts with everyone around him. She’s been quick to make friends with Jill and his sister Claire and she’s even got Leon’s liking and trust which is hella hard to get, especially after all the shit with Ada. She’s overall a super sweet and lovely girl, even with him from time to time. He’s seen her welcoming, friendly smiles whenever he stops by the Winters’ home. He’s heard her laugh at the jokes he rarely cracks.

Then why does she act like she hates him so often? And why does he claim he hates her?

Chris is snapped back to reality by the sound of rough impact. It’s a very distinct noise, one he places immediately: the sound of fists hitting a punching bag. It’s the middle of the night, almost midnight actually, and knowing how lazy the soldiers on his team are, he can only assume it’s either his sister or Jill, given that Leon just left. However, they’ve had people sneak in to train for free before, so it’d be for the best if he went to check who was releasing some pent up energy on the poor punching bag. Judging by the intensity of the punches being thrown, sounds like the person might be angry as well.

And they have every right to be. Because they are Gwen.

Chris’ face goes a bit red at the sight of the infuriated rookie giving the punching bag her all, punishing it the way she’d want to do to her superior she just heard call her all the names she hates being referred by.

“Winters I-“

“Unruly?“ Punch “Selfish?” Punch “Arrogant?” Punch

She stills herself, sighing and wiping the droplets of sweat from her forehead with the back of her hand, “You say all that and expect me not to be a Chris-phobe?” She lets out a bitter laugh, rolling her shoulders before continuing her wrath over the piece of equipment she’s threatening to destroy. She hasn’t spared him a single look yet, something he’s rather grateful for because the last thing he wants to see is whatever her gaze is hiding right now. “I’ll talk to Leon.” She says, her voice leveled and breathy, far from the pissed off tone she was just using. This calmness is a lot scarier though. “I’ll tell him I don’t want you to be my trainer. To be perfectly clear, I never wanted you to train me in the first place. I’m just not the type to complain, you know. I’m not picky. Beggers can’t be choosers. I take what I can get. And you were all I was offered, but...” she trails off, delivering a particularly hard punch, “It’s not gonna work. I may not be picky, but I know when to draw the line. I know when I deserve better.”

“Kid, you really have no idea what the case really is here.“ He attempts desperately, taunted by the thought of acting on his instincts and approaching her even if that means being the recipient of one of those hard punches.

“You know, I’m strong. I’m skilled. I can hold my own in a fight quite nicely. I’m endurable. I’m not afraid to work my ass off and sweat and pant like a dog after workouts. There’s not a line I wouldn’t cross, but you still choose to make me feel lesser than any soldier you’ve ever come across, that’s really lovely of you, Captain Redfield.“

“Winters, please...“

“It’s ok, I won’t tell Ethan and Mia. I’m sure they’ll send you to hell over it. I’m not petty like that.“

He’s had enough. He’s had enough of hearing that hurt tone in her voice. He’s done hearing these words she’s so certain are true but aren’t. He’s done lying to her and to himself. Before he can even think twice about it, he grabs her by the arms gently but firmly, turning her to face him despite her hostile attempts to free herself from his hold like a wild animal caught in a trap. He’s surprised when she relaxes, probably seeing that as a quicker way out of the situation rather than struggling though if she tried to free herself any longer he would’ve probably let her go.

“Fucking hell, Gwen, listen to me.“ He looks her dead in the eyes, catching onto the spark of shock created by his use of her first name. But he also sees something else, something that looks dangerously a lot like tears. He knows she won’t cry, especially not in front of him, but knowing that he’s the cause behind the welling of those crystal droplets in her always shiny, always smiling eyes breaks him. When she doesn’t look away nor protest, he continues, “I can’t be your captain. I can’t be your trainer. I can’t be any of that. I’m a strictly professional man, and it’d be highly unprofessional of me to take you in as my soldier.”

“But why?“ She’s fully aware she sounds like a whiny kid - exactly how she thinks he envisions her sometimes - but she couldn’t care less. She wants and needs answers. She knows she won’t be able to fall asleep or keep coming back to the training center if she doesn’t get them.

It’s blatantly clear this is far from easy for Chris. His first instinct is to look away, let go of her, run away like he always does - not that she’d let him do such a thing but still. He’s finds the words impossible to spit out yet he oh so desperately feels the need to get them out of his system. And so, he gathers all the strength within him and finally forces himself to say it.

“Because a captain isn’t supposed to look at a soldier the way I look at you.“

Sure, it sounds cryptic as heck but he has no doubt she’ll catch on. Gwen is a smart and sharp girl, among many other things. She confirms this when barely three seconds after he’s said it, he notices her eyes widening

“Sir, I-“

“Don’t.“ He says simply, a small, regretful smile playing across his lips as his hand slides down her arm to take hold of hers, “I just admitted my dirtiest secret to you and you are still gonna remind me how unprofessional I am by using my title, Kid?“

She purses her lips, the shock momentarily replaced by her signature mild glare, “Well, you just admitted your biggest secret to me and yet you still choose to call me ‘Kid’, huh?”

He chuckles, letting his other hand repeat the movements of the first, “Sorry, force of habit.” His thumbs brush against her knuckles briefly as his head falls, his gaze fixating on where their bodies are connected, “You know, I didn’t tell you this to get myself any pity or anything. I just wanted you to understand and....wanted to get it off my chest. Ethan will kill me if he finds out, won’t he?” He suddenly asks, regaining the courage to look up at her once again.

She giggles, “Who says he’s gonna find out?”

Chris bites the inside of his cheek, shaking his head, “You’re right, there’s nothing really to find out abo-”

Gwen has never been a chatter nor can she tolerate when people beat around the bush so she’s quick to cut them off sometimes, no matter how rude that may seem or sound. However, just to clarify, her chosen method of cutting a person off isn’t always kissing them. Just saying - this is a special situation requiring special methods.

Taken aback by the sudden feeling of her lips on his, Chris’ eyes close automatically but not even a second later he responds to the kiss properly: wrapping his arms around Gwen’s waist as her hands travel up to cup his face. The kiss is short - too short if either of them is to be asked - but it’s worth all the words they didn’t say despite wanting to.

When they pull away, Gwen gives him a mischievous smile, “Now he could find out about that and then shit would go south. That’d suck, wouldn’t it Chris?“

He’s only ever heard her say his name twice, once in passing conversation with Claire and once earlier when she paraphrased his term ‘Chris-phobe’, both time spoken with some dose of dislike he now realizes was a cover-up all along. Turns out the two are a lot more alike than they initially thought. Regardless, hearing her say his name with fondness instead of bitterness makes his heart flutter, his body yearn to have her closer, his lips wanting to be in contact with hers again. But he’s a patient and self-controlled man, he’s nothing if not willpower sculpted in a human body, so he keeps his distance, waiting for her to pick the moves, waiting for her to make the decisions just like she’s his captain.

“Big time.“ He manages to say, voice coarse all of a sudden, barely able to leave his throat. “So it stays here, right?”

She giggles again, bringing her lips within an inch or two away from his, taunting him, threatening to break his self-control, “What happens in the gym stays in the gym, Redfield.”

Golden rules of discretion, ones he mustn’t break ever. Especially not when his captain - Captain Gwen Winters - holds so much power over him.

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wrenhyperfixates · 3 years

Text

The Raven Haired Rebel

Chapter 1

Pairing: Loki x reader Series Summary: After invading New York, it was decided that, as a punishment, Loki would work for SHIELD. Yeah, right. After escaping from their custody and stranded on Midgard, the God of Mischief decides to prove he’s the one thing no one ever thought he was: the good guy. Now a vigilante, Loki attempts to make amends for his past wrongdoings while also evading the Avengers, including their newest member. You. Brought in specially for the case, you notice more and more details about the prince’s story don’t add up. When you get the chance to turn him in, will you listen to your employers or your heart that believes Loki’s done nothing wrong? Chapter Summary: In which you plead Loki’s case. Chapter Warnings: none A/N: Besides this being a miniseries, all the chapters are pretty short too! Hope you enjoy all the same :)

Permanent Tag List: @lucywrites02 @frostedgiant @lunarmoon8 @twhiddlestonsstuff @lokistan @lowkeyorlokificrecs @gaitwae @whatafuckingdumbass @castiels-majestic-wings @kozkaboi @cozy-the-overlord @birdgirl90 @myraiswack @mythicalgarlicknot @what-a-flammable-heart @marvelouslovely @laurenandloki @fallinallinmendes @sophlubbwriting @mooncat163

RHR Tag List: @happygalaxymilkshake @electroma89 @stardust-walker @i-would-kneel-for-loki

Masterlist

Disclaimer: Gif not mine

Swiping into Avengers Tower made you feel important, more so than swiping into a SHIELD base. You weren’t exactly sure why, though. Perhaps it was because SHIELD was a secret, and no one knew. Here, the passerby on the street looked on in awe. Or maybe it was because the Tower was so elite. Because so select few got to enter. But really, it probably wasn’t that you got to enter so much as why you got to enter.

True, since your first day on the job, word got around that you were the best in your field. Fast as lightning, you’d risen through the ranks to be Fury’s top tracker, a position all but secured when he brought you on for this case. A case, you knew, that intrigued you far more than it should have.

Just like everyone else had on that day a little over three months ago, you watched the TV with rapt attention as gods and superheroes made themselves known to the world. And, you supposed, supervillains too. Not that you’d told anyone, but something didn’t quite sit right with you in the weeks after when news anchors and colleagues alike were referring to the raven haired god as such.

For the next three days, you’d pored over books of Norse Mythology and a number of studies. Most of the latter coming from one Dr. Jane Foster, who you soon came to link with Thor. But even there you found a disconnect between the god of legends and the bloodied man on your screen. He never really did have malicious intent before. He was a trickster, yes, but he’d not even come close to doing something this drastic before! Ok, yes, there was his involvement in Ragnarök in the myths, but even for that you’d found multiple sources that could debunk it. Besides, it certainly didn’t seem like Asgard had even faced the end times yet.

Alas, you figured Thor knew his brother, and you had your own case to work on, so you let be the mystery that was Loki.

And then you were called into Fury’s office a week ago and asked to begin tracking the god. A bit too eagerly, you’d agreed to take the case. You’d dealt with villains before, truly evil people, and your search only further proved what deep down you already knew; Loki was not one. Everywhere you followed his trail, a mysterious savior was stopping bank robberies and saving people from burning buildings and runaway trains. Not to mention there were multiple descriptions of said savior using green magic. It seemed a wonder that the tracker in the case before you hadn’t noticed. Then again, people tend to only see what they want to.

Regardless, you made your way to the elevators, heading toward the conference room on one of the upper floors. You tapped your foot as it ascended, impatient to share your findings. As the lift stopped and you got out, you tugged on your leather jacket. It was ever so slightly too big, but it was on sale. Plus, you felt like it looked pretty cool, considering your job and all. Subconsciously, you puffed up your chest a bit too. Regardless of actual size, you felt like a petite little thing, stepping into a room of now renowned heroes. Strange, you thought, how so much could change in just three months.

“You know, I got to get me one of those,” said the man suddenly keeping pace next to you. You quickly identified him as Tony Stark.

“I... Pardon?” you replied, slightly startled.

“Your jacket,” he said, pointing at it. “I feel like the leather will match the whole rugged good-guy, vibe. Besides, I think Capsicle’s got one.”

You chuckled at that. “Maybe we should just make it the team uniform then.”

“Team, huh? So you must be that new tracker kid we’re working with.”

“I’d hardly call myself a kid,” you scoffed.

“When you get to be as rich as I am, you get to call everyone a kid,” Tony shrugged.

“I’m not exactly sure that’s how it works, but whatever you say, I guess,” you chuckled again.

“See, now if everyone would just adopt that mindset, we’d get stuff done a lot faster around here.” He quickly signed something that was brought up to him on a clipboard, never stopping. You wondered how long he could keep up like this before collapsing. “Besides, take it as a compliment. That last tracker was some fuddy-duddy old guy.”

“Fuddy-duddy?” you guffawed. “Maybe you’re the old one, after all.”

Tony feigned like he’d been struck in the heart. But before you could keep up the banter, you reached the conference room, and Steve was waving you inside.

“Stark,” he said with a nod. “Are you ready to begin or are you going to keep distracting our new teammate?”

“Aye aye, Captain,” he said with a little salute. “Reporting for duty.”

You mouthed a sorry as you followed Stark into the room. Even if the rest of them turned out to be hard-asses, at least Tony was fun. And having one ally was better than none, you figured. As you took your seat across from your new friend, you flipped through the file that had been left for you. It wasn’t really anything new, so you glanced at your teammates again. Nat and Clint both nodded at you, recognizing you from a couple other missions you’d interacted during. There wasn’t really any time to talk, however, before Captain Rogers was walking to the head of the long table.

“Alright, team. Before we get started, I think it’s worth mentioning we have a new member on the team,” Steve said, before welcoming you by name. “I think we’re all caught up on the situation here, so let’s dive right in. A new trend has shown up in the Tower’s data mining.”

“Data analysis,” Tony butt in. “It sounds more ethical that way.”

“Whatever you want to call it, the program showed that wherever Loki goes, there’s a spike in activity of an organization calling themselves AIM. At first glance they seem innocent, but after some digging, we’ve found they’re anything but. We’ve determined Loki is working with them, perhaps even masterminding some of their more underground projects. Agent? Can we assume you found the same things?”

“Uh, yeah, no. Actually, my data shows the opposite,” you cleared your throat. Standing, you slid the information from your tablet onto the room’s TV screen. “See, it seems that he’s actually doing good deeds. There are multiple accounts of a man fitting Loki’s description performing heroic works.”

“Ok, I’ll bite,” Tony said, leaning forward. “What about AIM then? You think it’s a coincidence.”

You bit your lip. “I’ll admit, I haven’t found anything about them yet. But... maybe, just maybe, Loki’s showing up where they are because he’s trying to stop them.”

“I am so sorry to interrupt, but that does not sound like the Loki I know at all,” Thor laughed. “A wonderful joke, though.”

Now you were getting mad. You shouldn’t be, but you saw something worth defending in Loki. A lot, actually. There was something about that look in his eye that you couldn’t quite read, but it was telling you something was wrong all the same.

“That’s not fair! Maybe you don’t know him as well as you thought. Look at this,” you said, swiping to show a side by side of Loki during and after the fight. “You can see it by the look on his face; something was seriously wrong during the battle. Plus, I’ve seen videos of him when he first came; he was not alright. Afflicted with severe anxiety and what looks like burn marks, I’d say. He needed help.”

“With all due respect,” Clint chimed in, “aren’t your a tracker, not a psychologist?”

“Yes, but as such I’ve been trained to look at all the details. Not just what’s convenient.”

“Listen,” Steve sighed before things got any more heated. “It’s a great theory and all, but you read Thor’s account of everything that happened before this. So, until we get some solid evidence proving otherwise, we’re going to have to stick with what we already know. We’ll put a pin in the AIM thing until you can take a look, though. Ok?”

“Ok,” you agreed, defeatedly taking your seat again.

You looked around the table. Natasha and Bruce, the only two who hadn’t said anything, both looked kind of pensive. Alright, maybe bewildered was the better word for Bruce. He was smart, no doubt about it, but you got the impression he wasn’t very good in social settings. Then there was Clint and Thor, both who seemed a little skeptical of you. At least Thor seemed to be considering his brother’s innocence at least a little. Steve was a bit more unreadable as he continued to prattle on about what you already “knew” for the case. And then there was Tony, who seemed more impressed than anything else. He, at least, had seemed to genuinely consider what you said. Perhaps he still was.

“The best way to solve this,” Steve closed his spiel, “is to bring him in. Agent, have you located him yet?”

You sighed. Deeply. It shouldn’t be this much of a struggle to present your findings. You’d had no trouble speaking on his behalf. Yet a part of you—an alarmingly large part, you realized—didn’t want to turn him in. But who were you to ignore direct orders?

“Yup,” you conceded, pulling up a map with a blinking red dot, marking Loki’s location.

“Well then, team,” Steve said to the group. “Let’s roll out.”

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fanfics-for-the-hockey-fan · 3 years

Text

A Lie to Love - Nathan MacKinnon

This is for @antoineroussel Summer Fic Exchange. I had the wonderful @broadstbroskis!

I had so much fun writing this fic and reading everyone else's work, I love getting to see so many great writers sharing their work on this site. This is also one of the longest pieces I have written in a very long time, as I was writing this I had a million other fic ideas pop in my head so many those will get written some time soon.

***

I just sat down on my couch, just getting home from work when someone started knocking on my apartment door. I was hoping to ignore it and it would go away, unfortunately they kept knocking. I groaned as I got up, decided how much I was going to curse this person out. “What-” Right behind the door was Nate, giving me a nervous smile.

I had met Nate through his teammate Gabe, I babysat for Gabe and Melissa on a regular basis. Nate showed up one night that I was watching their daughter looking for advice from Melissa. I was able to help him then he hung out with me until Gabe and Melissa came home. Since then I could expect him to show up at my apartment at least once a week for dinner, and we were close friends after I had to save him from a laundry emergency that first night I met him.

“I’m so glad you’re home. I need a huge favor.” Leaving the door open I headed back towards my couch, I knew Nate would follow me and close the door behind him. Once I was sitting on the couch again Nate pulled my legs onto his lap.

“Last time you asked for a favor I ended up with the flu.” Which was true, he had asked me to help out at a learn to skate event that was outside in December. It had been a cold and foggy day, and two days later I was down for the count.

“I brought you soup! And tissues for we left for that road trip.”

“You brought me one box of tissues and two cans of tomato soup.” Nate raised an eyebrow like I had proven his point. I threw a pillow at his head before speaking again. “I’m allergic to tomatoes!”

“Oh, I’m an idiot. Sorry. But I still need a favor.” I really wanted to just say no, ask Nate to leave and go to sleep until I had to go into the office tomorrow. But I knew I was going to say yes before I even found out what he needed. “Please Ruth.”

“What is this favor?”

“I need you to be my fake girlfriend.”

“That was not what I was expecting you to say.” That got a small chuckle out of Nate but he also looked nervous. “Why do you need a fake girlfriend?” Nate was in a ‘single and loving it’ stage of life, he just wanted to play hockey and hang out with his teammates.

“An executive on the team has been talking up his daughter for like the last two years. I’ve been able to brush off the hints he has been throwing at me, luckily she doesn’t live here. Today he came up to me when I was heading out for the day, talking about how his daughter is coming into town and how we should get dinner together so I can get to know her. I thought I could brush it off as a one off dinner, say we there was no connection and then she would be gone. Easy, ya know?”

“Not really. But continue.”

“Apparently this isn’t just a visit for her, she is moving here. And going to work for the team on the social media team.”

“That must have ruined your plan.” Nate nodded and I knew I was going to agree to his crazy plan. “So how did all this lead to me needing to be your fake girlfriend?”

“I panicked and said I had a girlfriend.”

“And I’m the only girl you hang out with that isn’t related to you or in a relationship with a teammate.”

“You are also one of my best friends and the one person I trust every part of my life with. I know this is a lot to ask, I know this is bigger than asking you to help with a skating event. This is a change to every part of your life, and lying to a lot of people.”

“I’ll do it.” Nate’s jaw actually dropped like he couldn’t believe I was agreeing to do it. “Just tell me what you need me to do.”

“Thank you, thank you so much. I know this is a huge ask, I really do.”

“Before we talk about details, I need food and wine. Not necessarily in that order.” I ordered food and pulled out the biggest wine glass I had. As we waited for the food, we came up with a plan and story to tell everyone. We decided to stick with the cliche story of best friends who decided to fall for each other.

“Um, what about kissing? And other PDA?” Nate’s cheeks flushed as he asked the question and I knew it wasn’t from the wine. “I don’t want to do anything you are uncomfortable with.”

“Let’s just start with hand holding and that kind of stuff.”

“Yeah, okay. That sounds good.” Our food was delivered then, Nate going to the door and coming back with the bags of food.

“How much do I owe you?”

“Don’t worry about it, you can think about it like this is our first date.” I nod and start eating once we decided on something to watch. This felt normal for us, eating take out and watching whatever hockey game Nate was able to find. After we finished eating Nate helped me clean everything up before he got ready to leave. I walked him to the door, hugging him tightly as he let out a sigh of relief. “I don’t think I will ever be able to repay you for doing this. Thank you so much.”

“Don’t worry about it Nate, I’ll always be there when you need me.” I closed the door behind him, hoping that I wouldn’t regret agreeing to fake date my best friend.

Nate’s pov

I had been ignoring my phone since I pulled into the parking lot at Ruth’s apartment building, knowing that asking Ruth to do this would make or break our friendship. When I left her apartment I was hopeful that this wouldn’t be the end of our friendship. But I also knew it was only going to make my feelings for her grow. I realized within a month of knowing Ruth that I had feelings for her, and I had almost told her a dozen times a year since then.

I checked my phone when I got home, I had four missed phone calls from my captain and nearly a dozen texts. I skipped over looking at all the messages and just called him. “Nate, why did I hear you say that you are dating someone? Mel has been questioning me since this afternoon because she heard you say to someone that you are in a relationship. She is pissed that I didn’t tell her about it. Which is hard to do considering I had no clue.”

Before I could answer I heard Mel’s voice. “MacKinnon, you better tell me who you are dating.”

“Uh, Ruth-” There was a loud squeal on the other end of the call and then I heard Landy trying to shush his wife.

“When were you going to tell us this?” Gabe asked after it got quiet. I wanted to tell them the truth, we had talked about it. We eventually decided that we wouldn’t tell them the truth because Gabe was the worst gossiper on the team.

“It’s only been about a month, we wanted to make sure this was going to work before we shared it with anyone. We wanted to wait even longer but one of the executives was trying to set me up with his daughter.”

“Alright. I guess that is enough information from now. We can always ask more questions at that fundraiser on Friday night.”

“Oh shit.” That caused Gabe to laugh at me.

“You didn’t tell her about that yet?”

“No, we weren’t going public yet so I figured that I would just go by myself. But I guess I need to tell her about that now and see if she is willing to come with me.”

“That is a big first outing, good luck with that buddy.” Gabe hung up and I knew that I needed to tell Ruth about Friday but when I left she had mentioned she was going to crash as soon as I left. I figured I should go to bed now and deal with everything tomorrow.

***

I was getting ready to knock on Ruth’s door when it flew open and Ruth was standing there looking shocked. “Nate! What are you doing here?” Her eyes then looked at the coffee cup I was holding, one that I had brought for her. “Oh, what’s wrong?”

“What do you mean?”

“You only ever bring me my favorite coffee order when you have bad news.”

“I-Landy reminded me last night that we have a black tie fundraiser on Friday night.”

“And now that our supposed relationship is public, you are expected to bring your girlfriend with you.”

“Yeah. I am sorry, I never meant to make your life this complicated.” Ruth took the coffee from me, taking a sip before locking her door.

“I know what I signed up for Nate. I need to get to work, walk with me to my car.” I followed her through the hall of her apartment, waiting for her to yell at me. “What is this fundraiser for? And what kind of dress do I need?”

“It’s for the children’s hospital. We do it every year, they book a huge ballroom and it’s a lot of rich people. The Avs don’t run this fundraiser but all the sports teams in town donate a bunch of stuff to them to auction off and the team likes us to go so the people are more willing to open their wallets.”

“And yet that doesn’t tell me what kind of dress I need, or what time this thing is. Or any of the other million things I need to know to get ready for this thing.”

“I’m not sure about any of this, every year I go by myself. I can have Mel call you?”

“That sounds good. I have to go now, I have a project that was assigned to me yesterday that is way behind schedule. So thank you for the coffee and I’ll see you later.” I watched as she got into her car and drove away.

Ruth’s pov

By the time lunch came around I was buried under a pile of work, I hoped that if I could work through lunch and stay a little late every day this week that I would be caught up by the end of the week so I could focus on the lie at this fundraiser. So when I saw that Melissa was calling me I knew my plan was about to be derailed. “Hey Melissa.”

“I am going to ignore the fact that you didn’t tell me about you and Nate. And I am also going to save all of my questions for later, Nate told me that you need a dress for Friday. I can be at your office in 10 minutes, we can go shopping during your lunch hour.”

“I am so behind on a project that was just given to me this morning and it was already so far behind because the guy who was incharge of it before me was an idiot. I don’t have time to take a lunch break this week.”

“But Nate gave me his card to buy your dress with.” I knew I would regret what I was about to say but I didn’t have another option.

“If I tell you what size I wear, can you just get me something?”

“Absolutely!”

“Thank you. As much fun as I think shopping with you would be, I just can’t leave right now.”

“I get it. Send me a text with your sizes and I’ll find you the perfect dress.”

“Because my brain is a mess right now, I wasn’t supposed to babysit on Friday right?”

“No, my parents are in town this week. They are watching the kids. There is no way you are getting out of this event.” A part of me was hoping that I would have that as an excuse to not go but with that option gone I started to mentally prepare myself for Friday night.

***

“Thank you for letting me get ready here.” I said to Nate as he let me into his house. “And thank you for letting me crash here tonight.”

“Of course, it makes more sense this way. I also have your dress, Mel wouldn’t let me look at it when she dropped it off on Tuesday. I figured you can use my room to get ready, it has more counter space for whatever you need.”

“I’m not kicking you out of your bedroom and bathroom.”

“It’s not kicking me out when I volunteer to use the guest room. C’mon, let me carry your bag.”

“How long until we need to leave?”

“I have an Uber scheduled for 75 minutes from now.” I nod, knowing that I could make that work without having to rush too much. Once Nate headed into the guest room I started to unpack what I would need for now. Grabbing a towel before going to figure out the shower, which was far more high tech than anything I had ever seen in a shower before. I wrapped the towel around myself and went to find Nate. “Nate?! How do I work your futuristic shower?” I only stuck my head out in the hall to yell and luckily he heard me from the guest room he was in. A few seconds later he came out in only a loose pair of shorts, laughing at me. “Don’t laugh at me, your shower has a computer screen!” I opened the bedroom door so he could come in, watching his eyes widen when I saw I was only wearing a towel. As he came in to turn the shower on for me I took the time to look over him. When he turned to show me how to change the temperature and turn it off I knew he caught me checking him out. Nate was such a beautiful person, inside and out. I knew that fake dating Nate had the potential for my true feelings to come out and I was trying to convince myself that this wouldn’t end with the death of our friendship.

“Need anything else?”

“Nope.”

Nate’s pov

It took every ounce of willpower to not kiss Ruth when I saw her standing in my bedroom in just a towel, and then when I caught her checking me out I was really tempted to tell her the truth. I knew that this fake dating would just cause more pain for me but there was nothing I could do about that now. I took a colder shower than I had originally been planning to take but after that was done I got my suit on, just a dark grey suit so that hopefully I wouldn’t clash with whatever Ruth was wearing.

Just as I finished getting my shoes on there was a knock on my door. I opened it and was immediately speechless. The deep green dress looked amazing on her and I am pretty sure that my jaw was on the floor. As she moved in the dress I saw the large slit on the one side that showed a lot of her leg. “Can you zip my dress?”

“Y-yeah.” Ruth turned so her back was to me, pulling her hair to the side so I could tug up the zipper before whispering. “Perfect.”

“I should be ready in just a few minutes.”

“Yeah, I just need to come grab a tie. I wanted to wait until I saw what color your dress was.” Ruth nodded as we both heard into my bedroom, I headed straight for my closet and by the time I came out with my tie on Ruth was standing at the end of my bed smiling. “You look amazing.”

“You do too.” I walked over to Ruth, both of us looking at our reflection in the mirror. “We make a good looking couple.”

“I don’t think I can do this.” I froze after those words came out of my mouth, Ruth looking at me with wide eyes.

“O-okay, um, I’ll go grab my stuff and get out of your hair.” Ruth went to turn and walk away from me, but I gently turned her around so I could tell her the truth.

“No, that’s not what I meant.” I cupped Ruth’s cheek, locking eyes with her. “I have had feelings for you for so long. Probably since a month after I met you but I was scared to tell you. And then we became friends and I didn’t want to make things weird, so I kept it a secret. But I also fell for you more as we became closer friends. So I think a part of me decided to say I was dating someone because I want to be dating you. For real.” Ruth didn’t say anything, just took a step closer and pressed her lips to mine. “I, what just happened?”

“Everything you just told me, I feel the same way.”

“Really?”

“Yes. Now kiss me for real.” That I could do, I kissed Ruth like I had wanted to do for years. We only stopped kissing when a car horn sounded in my driveway. “I think I need to fix my lipstick.”

“I would say sorry but I’m not. I’ll go to the car if you want to fix your lipstick.” Ruth nodded, stepping back while smiling at me. “Just so you know, this isn’t our first date. I will be planning that for next week and it is going to knock your socks off.”

“As long as you are there, I can’t wait.” I kissed Ruth one more time before healing downstairs to tell the driver we were almost ready. I also couldn’t keep the smile off of my face, I couldn’t believe what started out as a panicked lie turned into a chance to date my best friend for real.

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imalemonthatrants · 3 years

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Color Association with One Piece

My friend and I once again were talking about the colors some peeps in One Piece represented. It spurred from our disagreement on Sanji being blue or yellow, by the way. LOL my friend feels that they've got a trace of synthesthia to them. I don't think I do, but I do associate characters, more so than real life people, with colors.

Luffy is, hands down, simply red for us. No discussion necessary.

Kid is displayed as blue often (in fanart) due to Law being yellow and luffy being red, but both of us agree that Kid is definitely also red. A darker red than Luffy, and that definitely makes sense to me because Kid is a more edgier version of Luffy to me. One with like two more braincells as well.

Law is and still is yellow in my eyes, though I can see him as black as well. In our disagreement on sanji being blue or yellow, I stated that if they saw Law as yellow, Sanji can't be yellow! (Proceeds to shoot myself in the foot because Kid is red, but Luffy HAS to be red) but they stated that they redelegate Law to black as his color then. To my friend, Law is a softer sort of yellow, like sweater yellow. To me, Law would either be annoying florescent light yellow like that shade of yellow that ugly lightbulbs kind of project onto white walls or a dull yellow, tending to border onto beige kind of yellow, like dried and old wheat.

Killer, my friend associates with a very soft baby blue. Mostly because he wears blue fairly often, but also because soft blues makes them think that Killer gave great fucking hugs and he probably does. I saw Killer as a secondary color, like orange or purple, but also visualize him as yellow. He's a yellow dyed by the presence of Kid in his life, his captain so ingrained into his soul, that It's changed his color, hence my ideas of orange. Purple, because baby blue thing and Kid dying his color to make it the way it was but also because purple is dignity, and how Killer throws away his pride, his dignity, all for his captain in such a way, yet still, he preserves it due to his actions.

The controversial person, Sanji. Sanji is blue to me. Blue visually and by association. After our discussion, my friend admits that they visualize Sanji as yellow, probably because of the Fandom, but associates him with blue. To my friend, if Law was a soft, comforting sort of yellow, then Sanji was a bright and sunflower sort of yellow. I strong disagree on Sanji being yellow. Sanji is not the sun, not the brightness to my life or the peoples' world. He does not burn you if you come to close, make you fall to the depths or is equal to his harshness amongst all that yearn for his kindness. That is Luffy. Luffy is the sun, and Sanji cannot replace that in my eyes, ever. Not even close.

Sanji is blue. Blue like the oceans, mysterious and deceptive. He's the blue of the skies that are colored like freedom just as much as Sanji yearns it. He's the blurred blue horizon of the sky and the ocean surface meeting together, of the view he saw with his own blue eyes on the rocky prison that showed how simply beautiful the sky and the ocean was, but also how its beauty was a deception to the pain that they can bring. I also like the character idea of "kindness kills", or "hurting people with one's kindness" as a character flaw for Sanji, and it fits with my color idea of him.

Finally, my favorite man in the series, Zoro. Zoro is green, visually to me and due to the green, by association. Ironically, despite Zoro being my favorite character and me associating him as green and seeing him as green, I hate the color green. Mostly, I hate anything that stems from yellow in a way (yellow, green, orange are low on my likeable color list. What can I say? I hate yellow.) (But even more ironic, I do actually like Law! And I ship lawzo as much as I ship other zoro pairings. Lol) But I picture Zoro, often times, as a mint green, probably because what appealed to me the most about Zoro was the softer, less noticeable parts of him, where he doesn't try to stand out, yet still he does. Sometimes, I think of Zoro as a seafoam green as well, maybe because I was a zosanzo shipper for years, and the blue has bled into the green. I also can see matcha green. Because liking Zoro means you got a sophisticated sort of taste (in my eyes, lol), but also the bitterness of matcha is the way Zoro forces people to face the harsh reality of life sometimes, where he is strict not only to himself, but on the people around him, but he strongly believes that the people around him will meet or surpass his expectations.

My friend brought up a deep, dark, forest green and I was like DAMN, how could I have not seen that? They said like the protective and safe comforts sort of green. And that definitely made sense to me. That is Zoro. So I think of evergreen green Zoro. Where despite the frigid winds, the snow bleeding the colors away from the world, Zoro stubbornly refuses to let go of his colors. His green standing out starkly amongst the white and grays of the world. My friend also visualizes him as blue sometimes, mostly because skypeia zoro in that blue tank top is unforgettable. Sometimes, I visualize zoro as blood red, but that may be because Zoro covered in blood is low-key a kink for me.

Those are the only ones we discussed during my friend's thirty minute work break, but obviously, I got colors for most other characters in the series. Let me know what colors you relate one piece characters to and why! I do enjoy seeing other people's color theory opinions. And am down to seeing people disagree on my colorizing with their own opinion. Broaden my horizons, you know?

#one piece #monkey d luffy #luffy #roronoa zoro #zoro #trafalgar law #eustass kid #killer #sanji #colors #headcanons

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steves-on-a-plane · 3 years

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I'll Be There For You

For @star-spangled-bingo 2021

Pairing: None Cast Of Characters: Sam Wilson, Bucky Barnes, Steve Rogers & Rogers Daughter!Reader Warnings: Mild swearing, bit of teenaged angst from Reader Words: 2399 Squares Filled: Dad/Daughter Dance Summary: Reader is Steve Rogers' twelve year old daughter who has been left in the care of her two "Uncles" Sam and Bucky. Reader confesses to Sam & Bucky that she feels like she plays second figure to "Captain America" on her dad's priority list. Her uncles do their best to assure her this isn't the case and of course Steve Rogers swoops in at the last minute to save the day.

You opened the window, closed your eyes and inhaled deeply. You didn’t care that the wind swirling around outside was causing small pools of water on the sill as fat droplets made their way in side. You didn’t care that the air was thick and the sky was a chalky grey. It was raining and you loved the rain. Rain was cleansing. Rain meant that old things were being washed away and new things would grow in their place. Rain was comforting.

The apartment you lived in with your father was the opposite. The building was old and every other floorboard seemed to creak or crack. The windows rattled and no matter how much the two of tried to keep things clean, there seemed to be a perpetual layer of dust that settled over everything. It was somehow stuff and drafty at the same time. You want to be outside where the rain was, not stuck inside with your two babysitters.

“[Y/N], what the hell are you doing?” Your Uncle Bucky demanded as he entered the living room. He pulled down the sash, effectively closing the window and keeping the beautiful rain scents out.

“Buck, you shouldn’t say hell to kids. You shouldn’t swear at kids. Steve would have a fit if he heard you.” Uncle Same chastised as he followed into the room.

“[Y/n]’s not a kid, she’s twelve. That’s practically thirteen. She’s basically a teenager.” Bucky pointed out. “Besides it’s not like hell is a gateway swear. You think if she hears me say hell then it’s a matter of time before she moves on to some real swear like…"

“I’m going to stop you right there.” Sam interrupted. “I don’t see a scenario where that sentence doesn’t end in a word Steve is comfortable with [Y/N] hearing.”

“Uncle Sam you do know that I’ve been around Tony Stark before, right?” You asked. “And believe it or not the Avenger who swears the most is Dr. Banner.”

“That still doesn’t mean your Uncle Bucky needs to help you pick up any bad habits.” Sam then noticed the water on the windowsill dripping down onto Steve’s hardwood floor. “Where did all that water come from?”

“Little Rogers had the window open.” Bucky nodded at you. “She had half her torso sticking out a fifth floor window.” He shook his head. “I’ll go get a towel.”

“Were you really hanging out the window?” Sam asked as Bucky stepped out into the hall. He knew Uncle Bucky had the tendency to overreact. Not that he could blame the guy, you were the only kid Bucky ever spent more than five minutes with.

“No.” You answered, but the truth was you couldn’t be certain. “I don’t know, maybe.” You added.

“YES!” Bucky shouted from the linen closet, still out of sight.

“You know that’s dangerous, don’t you [Y/N]?” Sam reminded you.

“Yeah, but…” You tried to defend yourself.

“Yeah but do you think Uncle Sam or I want to have to call your Dad and tell him that you fell out the window when we were supposed to be taking care of you?” Bucky handed you the towel and motioned for you to start moping up your mess.

“Weren’t you the one who was just saying I’m practically a teenager?” You sighed. You then mumbled to yourself, “Besides, maybe if I fell out of the window he’d actually pay attention to me.” Sam and Bucky exchanged a look of confusion behind your back.

“What do you mean by that?” Sam probed. He wasn’t accusatory. His tone was soft, he waited for you to answer.

“He’s not here right now is he?” You tossed the sopping towel in your hands to the ground and turned to face them. “Lots of kids have parents who go away for work so I know I’m not that special okay? But I can’t help but wish he was home more. Even when he’s not away on missions he’s still in his office taking calls or filing reports or zoom meetings! It sucks!” You threw yourself down into a nearby armchair. You ignored the smirk from Bucky and the incredulous look from Sam as you swore. “Even when he tries to do things with me…Like last week, he wanted to take me out for ice cream. We didn’t even make it a block from the apartment before he was getting hounded for photos and autographs. I love my dad, but I hate Captain America.”

Sam and Bucky exchange another look. This time both their expressions seemed to say, “What do we do now?”

“It’s okay, you can say it.” You sighed, looking down at your feet rather than at either of them.

“Say what, Kid?” Bucky used the most affectionate nickname he could muster and he sat beside you on the couch.

“That it’s a really selfish thing to say and that Captain America does a lot of good and sharing dad with the Greater Good is a sacrifice I should be happy to make. You can’t think any worse of me then I already do.” You assured them, still not daring to make eye contact with either one of them.

“I don’t think that at all.” Bucky told you. You certainly weren’t expect that. You looked over at him. “I hate Captain America too sometimes.”

“You do?” You felt your eyebrows knit together. Uncle Bucky had been your dad’s best friend practically their entire lives.

“Of course. Steve Rogers is my best friend.” Bucky said. “But Steve Rogers is a skinny little thing who’s allergic to everything under the sun, and couldn’t fight his way out of a paper bag.” His description brought forward in your mind pictures you’d seen of you dad before the serum. Seeimg him like that always made you giggle. “Now Captain America, He’s a big beefy guy, he likes running and motocyles, thinks he’s so cool.” Bucky wrinkled his face in disgust. “You know what helps me, on my days when I’m really ticked off at Captain America?”

“What?” You inched a little closer to Bucky as if he were whispering a secret.

“I have to remind myself that some days, your dad hates Captain America too.” You opened your mouth to disagree, but Sam jumped in. He sat on the other end of the couch, joining the conversation.

“Remember that story you were telling us during dinner, that one friend you have…?” Sam reminded you.

“Jennifer.” You supplied.

“Right.” Sam nodded. “Remember how you said Jennifer’s mom told her that drawing is a waste of time so now even though Jennifer really loves to paint and draw she doesn’t bring her projects home from art class any more? This is kind of like that.”

“Riiight.” Bucky agreed unsure if your friend’s interest in art was the same as the point he was trying to make, but he’d give Wilson an A for effort.

“It’s the same thing.” Sam insisted. “Jennifer is comfortable sharing her art work with you, because she knows you support her. There are thinks your dad with share with us that Captain America might not share with the world.”

“Right.” Bucky nodded enthusiastically this time. “Like that magazine that published an Apple Pie recipe last month as ‘Captain America’s Signature Apple Pie.’ You and I both know your dad’s never made an apple pie in his life. He doesn’t even like apple pie that much.” You smiled again remembering the rant Uncle Bucky had gone on when he saw the magazine in the grocery store.

“You said your cat could probably make a better pie that dad.” You reminded him.

“And I still think that.” Buck assured you. “Our point, [Y/N], is that it’s okay to not be okay all of the time. It’s okay to feel like your dad and Captain America are two different people sometimes. But you have to talk about you are feeling. You have to tell your dad, Uncle Sam, me or someone else , because if you don’t you’re never going to feel better about it.”

“I mean I guess I feel a little better already.” You shrugged. “But I’m afraid to bother any one with my stuff. You guys are busy. Let me guess this is the part where you both say you’re never too busy for me?” You rolled your eyes. “Dad says that all the time, but he’s on a mission and not at the father daughter dance with me tonight. I’m sorry about the window.” You said getting to your feet. You picked up the towel from where you’d discarded it earlier.

“Father daughter dance?” Bucky mouthed to Sam behind your back. Sam shrugged in response. “Fix it!” Bucky replied.

“How?” Sam mouthed back. It was Bucky’s turn to shrug.

“I think I got most of the water.” You said, facing them again. “I’ll throw this thing in the hamper and then I think I’ll call it a night. Thanks for listening to me b-complain for a bit.” You decided not to chance swearing again in front of Uncle Sam.

“Bed?” Bucky jumped to his feet. “It’s not even five yet.” He glanced at his watch to confirm. “We should do something…”

“That’s fine, I think I just want to be alone for now. I’m sure dad will still be gone tomorrow. We can do something then.” You and your dripping wet towel started to make your way towards your bedroom.

“[Y/N], wait.” Sam also got to his feet. “Maybe Uncle Bucky and I could take you to your father daughter dance. I know it’s not the same because we’re not your dad, but other kids probably go with uncles or…”

“Jennifer’s moms are both taking her.” You smirked. “And I am the only one of my friends who wasn’t going. It could be fun.”

“What time’s the dance start?” Bucky asked. “Seven? Eight?”

“Seven, but I don’t have anything to wear. Everyone else was planning on dressing up.” You pointed out.

“If we leave now, I’m sure we can still find you something nice.” Sam suggested. “Maybe we can find a salon to do your hair.” He remembered how much his sister used to love getting her hair done special for dances when they were younger.

“What about the rain?” You bit your lip. You could tell they were really trying to make this work.

“You were about to climb out that window before I got in the room.” Bucky laughed. “I didn’t think a little rain would slow you down.”

“Okay.” You agreed. “Okay. Father-Daughter-Uncle Dance it is.”

“I’ll get my car keys. You put your shoes on and get a jacket. Last thing I need is you getting sick.” Sam instructed.

Two and a half hours later, Sam parked his car in the parking lot of your school. The dance was being held in the gymnasium. Miraculously, he had found a hair salon that was still open and willing to style your hair for the event. Apparently, a lot of parents in the neighborhood were taking their kids for cuts or styles in preparation of the big event. While you were in the salon, Bucky darted in and out of shops trying to find the right dress. He was on video chat with you or Sam the entire time and eventually the three of you settled on a pale pink dress with layers and layers of tule for the skirt. It had a shimmering silk sash that Uncle Bucky had tied into a perfect pink bow and the sleeves were flowy but not heavy. You felt like a princess.

“We’re late.” You frowned. “Do you think that matters?”

“Haven’t you ever been fashionably late before?” Bucky asked, opening the car door for you. He held a large umbrella in his hands so that neither of you would get wet. You noticed the rain had slowed down considerably since earlier.

Bucky and Sam had done their best to look put together for you. Uncle Bucky borrowed a pair of your dad’s old khaki pants and a charcoal grey button up shirt he hardly ever wore. You didn’t know where he’d found suspenders, but suspected they were your fathers too. Uncle Sam went for a more casual look wearing his cleanest pair of jeans and a maroon polo. When you entered the school gym, your homeroom teacher Mr. Jenson was selling and collecting tickets.

“Ah, [Y/N] Rogers. Who are your escorts this evening?” He asked while Sam paid for the tickets.

“These are my two Uncles.” You introduced them.

“It’s a pleasure to meet both of you.” Mr. Jenson smiled. “Enjoy the dance.”

For the most part you did. There were all sorts of desserts available. Bucky helped you taste test every single one before you both agreed the chocolate cupcakes were the best. You felt a sense of pride when one of the boys in your class tried asking Sam about his Falcon costume and he explained he was at the dance on official Uncle business. They’d have to save the Falcon talk for another time. You introduced them to all of your friends and told everyone how amazing it was that they’d put everything together so last minute for you. Both Sam and Bucky took turns making sure you got in as many dances as possible. What had started as a boring afternoon had turned into a pretty good night.

“I think I’m ready for bed.” You yawned as you sat down next to Sam. The night had begun to wind down and you were getting tired.

“One more dance and then we’ll head up.” Bucky told you.

“Uncle Bucky I don’t know if I’ve got one more dance in me.” You yawned again.

“Too tired to dance with your old man even?” A familiar voice asked from behind you. You pivoted in your seat to see your dad standing behind you. He was dressed in his best suit, your favorite navy blue one, and held a bouquet of wildflowers in one hand.

“Dad!” You jumped to your feet and hugged him.

“You didn’t think I’d miss the chance to dance with my best girl, did ya?” You Dad asked. You took the flowers he offer you and placed them on the table between Sam and Bucky.

“Thank you.” You whispered to both of them before following your dad out to the dance floor.

#Sam Wilson #Bucky Barnes #Steve Rogers #Rogers!Reader #Rogers Daughter!Reader #Uncle!Sam Wilson #Uncle!Bucky Barnes #Dad!Steve Rogers #Fan Fiction #Fan Fic #FF #SSB2021 #StarSpangledBingo

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kazbrekkerscrutches · 3 years

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James "Bucky" Barnes - With Me

Warnings: Mention of trauma/nightmare/guilt, otherwise it's fluff. REAL FLUFF

Words: 1k

Ever since I was a child, I couldn't remember anything but the tragic events of my past.

[Flashback]

My mother was taking me to this beautiful cabin in the forest. There were trees and flowers all around me. As though I felt free and safe, I knew I wasn’t. On my way out to the cabin in question, I heard a metallic, almost like a ringing sound coming from behind me.

My own mother was standing there, hold a machine-like device. It was shining, almost brighter than the sky. “Mum, what is this?” She looked at me, only to have me tear up to her gaze. “I’m sorry. I have to.”

She huffed out another word before pulling the trigger on it. My weight was launched by a man. He was dressed in a military uniform and another one was in the infamous Captain America costume. They were defeating her, until she popped one of her tooth, only to have bubbles coming out of her mouth.

“Mum.” I knew she had tried to kill me only a few minutes ago, but a part of me was left heartbroken.

She wasn’t breathing. Saints, no.

I shifted my weight to walk up to her, only to be stopped by the same pair of strong arms. “No, please. I just want t-t-to see he-er.” I looked up, only to see a beautiful man, whom had so precious blue eyes I could’ve swam in them.

He unhooked his arms and let me approach her. I hadn’t realised she was wearing a pin, containing the letters H.Y.D.R.A on it. A tear shot out of my eye, but I stood up, turning to face the males.

“Who are you?” I asked, still shaken from the previous moments.

“Steve Rogers.” The captain handed out his hand, only for me to shake it. I did, offering him a kind gesture even after what had happened.

“James Barnes.” He offered me his hand, but took mine only to take me further from my mother’s corpse.

“I’m Y/N Y/L/N, but I guess you already knew that.” He nodded sadly, only before an automobile came through the woods. I felt an arm drape over my shoulder, and as I turned my head, James was looking at me with a soft yet sad smile.

Steve and my former companion walked me towards the automobile, which led to go God knows where. His arm was still draped over my shaken body: I couldn’t stop seeing her say those words before attempting to shoot me. I closed my eyes, trying to see back the last thing she had said to me.

My attempt was interrupted by James taking my hand in his again. “What’s on your mind?” I hesitated, still surprised on how they seemed so fine about what had happened.

“I remembered that she said something before trying to kill me: Hail H.Y.D.R.A. Is that supposed to mean something?”

“They’re not the good guys. Trust me.”

My memories from my past were still haunting me at this day. Even half a century later, I still couldn’t get them out of my head.

Being a super soldier was such a burden: she tried to kill me for being a scientific project.

Steve was dead: I had lost my best friend who saved my ass more times than I couldn’t count.

But I still had James Buchanan “Bucky” Barnes.

He was the one who kept me from my own sorrow.

[Now]

I was sitting in my desk, peacefully thinking when I felt a hand on my shoulder. “You, okay?” James’ soft voice made me jump a bit. I turned on my chair, finding him wearing his casual black clothes.

“I’m fine.” I responded trying to stand up, but he crouched at my level, earning a look from my tired eyes. “I’ve known you since 1943, I know when you’re lying. What’s wrong?”

He took my hands in his, approaching his head towards mine. “I can’t stop thinking about them. My mum, my dad, my brother. A second ago, I was working on a design for my bow, and the next I was submerged by my past. And I know it was my fault, I-I-I…”

“Don’t say that. It was never your fault.” Tears that were bottling up during the day shot out of my eyes, dropping onto him. “What happened to them: it was all HYDRA’s fault, and they are going to pay for that.” I locked my eyes with him, finding the sincerity in them.

He placed his hands on the side of my face, passing his fingers slightly into my hair. He then pressed his lips to my forehead, drying my tears in his palms. I leaned into his touch, finding my home in him.

“They’re all dead, smartass.” As small chuckled left my mouth.

“That’s the smile I love.” He whispered, pulling me up with him. He scooped me in his arms, hugging me so tight. I inhaled his intoxicating smell, a mix of cinnamon and firewood. He brushed his calloused fingers along my back. His actions were soothing and calming, as was his presence.

“Come on. Let’s go to bed, it’s getting late.” I didn’t even realize it was nighttime until I saw the moon shining on us. He led me to our room, where we would spend most of our evenings in.

He handled me one of his shirts, as he knew I adored them so much. I slipped that on and got comfortable in the bed. He laid by me, pulling me into his embrace and whispering sweet nothings in my ears.

“You’re so beautiful. I never, ever want to spend a day without you by my side. I love you, darling.”

I lifted up my head just enough to catch his lips onto mine. They always felt so soothing and warm. It was the most peace I’d ever experience in my life.

“I love you too, dearest.” He pressed his lips against mine again, greeting them with passion once again.

I nuzzled myself into his chest, truly falling asleep in an instant.

#james buchanan barnes #sergeant bucky barnes #fluff #bucky x reader #bucky barnes #james bucky buchanan barnes

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vaguely-concerned · 4 years

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X-men Evolution; the great 2021 rewatch liveblog

exactly what it says on the tin, about halfway through the show I had TOO MANY FEELINGS and had to start writing some of them out haha (gets quite gambit & rogue/gambit heavy in the latter half, Because of Who I Am as a Person)

- this is my childhood’s x-men, my formative experience with them, and I’m happy to report that still seems like a good thing. the little eleven year old within me gets to geek out and have a good time with the characters and the surprisingly good animation and writing, adult me gets to CACKLE at regular intervals at the fashion/technology/absolute bonkers hot garbage comic book nonsense they use to justify a storyline every now and then, it’s been a good time

- I was like ‘ah well it is super dated it probably won’t be quite the same now’ and then rogue’s HAIR did the THING in the opening and ‘it’s all coming back to me now’ started playing in the background... the little baby queer in me swooning across time and space

- such a good beast, both his design and the writing, my heart aches for him all the time. he’s just so passionate! about being a teacher! helping young humans learn the stuff they’ll need in life! the most wonderful nerd man, just let good things happen for him

- I’m going to go ahead and assume that rogue’s ‘crush’ on scott is more of a deeply complex psychological process about desiring normalcy and intimacy and trying to figure out if she’s queer and dealing with her emerging sexuality and latching on to the first and best safely unavailable and nonthreatening older boy to project these issues onto rather than actually being a real thing, because I respect her so much as a person and I cannot bring myself to imagine she’s honestly attracted to a man who has POSTERS OF CARS on his bedroom wall. (I’ll give jean a break just because she seems to have a longer deeper history with him that might counteract some of that libido-kill, and also she’s a jock so lol)

like I am very sorry but can u imagine being a teenage girl with any interest in a boy with model cars in his bedroom when gambit’s swanning around being a much, much, much worse choice on almost every possible level but in a teen girl kryptonite kind of way? inconceivable

(I drag scott quite a few times in this and it’s not because I don’t love him, it’s just his tragedy to be the most draggable man in the world)

to be fair by the time gambit shows up that whole Situation has mostly played itself out I suppose but still

- toad’s design is so ineffably brilliant, I can’t quite tell you why but that ugly cute charm has really stuck with me, he’s one of the characters I remembered the best to this day just visually

- poor evan... he truly never had a chance, did he, they just saddled him with the most 90s teen bullshit they could come up with like he’s some kind of ‘what adult writers think teens like’ frankenstein’s monster ;______; it’s not your fault honey

- poor poor POOR storm, she gets one focus episode and they were like ‘we’re going to make an episode so racist -- ‘

I’m still STUNNED at how bad it was, but undeniably I laughed hysterically to the point that my neighbours were probably worried when that dude was earnestly like ‘He [stunningly breathlessly racist caricature of a ‘witch doctor’ guy] has stolen her powers, and he’s going to use them to take over Africa!!!’ fhajsdlfhsakjldfh oh really? tell me more, like how the fUCK this could be on television within my life time fasdlfhsdkjfhsad f just... fahjksdfh

- it’s a testament to gambit’s appeal as a character that his charm can survive what they’ve done with his hair and beard choices in this one fajskfhs regrettable but true I still fuckn LOVE him and in my highly biased yet Correct opinion he should have been around much more. get you a man who manages to stay hot through sheer Vibes even with a bowl cut

- aw scott/jean is kind of sweet in this show even if it’s taking them forEVER to get there, I like it

- it’s very nice of rogue to not mention magneto’s romantic daydreams and nostalgic memories about charles xavier after touching his face that one time... or maybe her brain did her a service and repressed it, there’s some stuff you shouldn’t have to know about your father figure

- the danger room is the very definition of ‘why do we even have that lever’ and I wonder what the fuck prof x does to have enough money to replace everything that gets busted all the time

- I’d say that a lot of the writing holds up surprisingly well! (but some of it is also incredibly inexcusably racist in ways that beggar belief, so... not full marks here) the characters have distinct voices and their arcs are set up and delivered on solidly for the most part, and there’s a lot of love showing through in small moments that are just there to have a funny/interesting thing to say about the characters and how their powers work separately and in combination. listen, sometimes I get so thirsty for like. basic goddamn competency in storytelling, let me have this

- ugggggh why is there captain america in my x-men have I not suffered enough... very very funny when prof x goes ‘sounds like you knew rogers personally’ and logan is like ‘I did ;)’ *all the students ganging up on steve rogers* “did you fuck our teacher, captain america?!”

- fskadfhas WHY are you showing me hot young-ified magneto’s ass fksjahfskj charles is not even here to see it, what a tragic waste erik

- ...I was sort of kidding before but uh I think logan genuinely did fuck captain america (or at least wishes very much that he did lol)

- wanda can have a little watching the world burn. as a treat for the way every single adult in her life has fucking failed her (’aren’t they treating you well here’ professor x she’s in a straightjacket)

- poor rogue tho can you imagine finding out after your biggest crush on a girl yet that she’s your fucking MOM in disguise... I would break out in cold sweat every time I thought about a boob forever after

- well seems like they really just had all that homoerotic rivalry stuff between quicksilver and spyke in their first ep only to never do anything with that again ever?? I mean even without the gay undertone that seems like a dynamic you spent most of an episode setting up writers what the hell haha

- dslhfkasjlh GAMBIT THERE HE IS MY BOY IS ON THE SCENE THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!! I don’t even care about his awful hair situation or the fact that his eyes are wrong here (coloured contact lenses, maybe, for a watsonian explanation? though he’d probably have to get them made special, considering he needs the sclera and the iris covered up in different ways, I’ve seen some comic panels indicating he has been known to?)

(cute little detail: when he shuffles the cards the first time we see him he ends with removing the top card to show the ace of hearts beneath <3 foreshadowing baBEY he’s a... good-ish boy deep down. hey he tries okay shit gets complicated sometimes lol)

- cracking UP at gambit perched cheerily on the edge of a crate dispensing cards in the middle of the battle... he’s like ‘eh it’s a livin’ sfsajkhf remy stop working for supervillains just because you had nothing to do on a thursday afternoon and they said they’d pay you

- I’m guessing magneto must have imposed a strict order of silence on these guys or something because I cannot imagine any other reason for him to shut up, especially once he notices rogue is a QTE (or, far more likely, they hadn’t settled on any voice actors for the new characters until next season haha. it is kind of odd that they’re all keeping up near monastic silence, though, even sabertooth lol)

- WHAT an epic first meeting for us rogue/gambit fans here... first his shadow like there’s fireworks going off behind him lighting him up and then he gives her the fuckn king of hearts and she’s so enchanted by his dumb handsome face she doesn’t even notice it’s about to blow up in her hands and it all happens in heavily meaningful silence afjsdfjashjk no wonder this ship ingrained itself in my hindbrain

yeah look smug while you can remy she’s gonna have you on your knees one day and you’ll be happy about it lol

- god storm is so COOL, everything just fading out of focus when she really gets going... give her more screen time, show!!

- mystique is every person... this person... that person... that bird... that cat... that wolf... I’m not even sure she’s not also me... are you sure she’s not you?

- holy fuck I respect the hell out of the decision to just... blow up the entire status quo in a season ender, I only vaguely remembered that (actually in general I appreciate how good the continuity is -- buildings and places that get damaged in battles need to be repaired or rebuilt, it makes the consequences feel more real even when no one gets seriously hurt. where they get the money to restore scott’s car and logan’s motorbikes every time they go cablooie is still an open question tho lol is it credit card fraud, professor? is it telepathically acquired blackmail???)

- I first watched this when I was nine or so, so it’s a real experience to go from my starry eyed intrigued ‘oh my god... they’re teenagers’ to my horrified adult perspective of ‘oh my god... they’re TEENAGERS D:’

that goes double for the brotherhood boys honestly, I’m here with tears in my eyes like ‘I’m sorry the system has failed you so badly you’re all just a bunch of dumb kids whose caretakers clearly fucked up spectacularly’

like lance is always waiting for mystique to come back because she’s the closest thing he has to a safe parental figure, may we speak about how crushingly depressing that is

- rogue is so ready to throw hands at literally any moment and for that I love and treasure her immensely (I think getting to see her be so surly and unreasonable and sometimes difficult and jealous, like any teenager, meant a lot to me as a kid who was not really allowed to be any of these things, this version of the character has stayed with me so deeply. she holds on so fiercely to her right to feel what she feels and be what she is even when it’s ‘ugly’ or unreasonable, which I think plays in really interestingly with how her powers involve getting invaded by other people’s thoughts and memories to the point of overwhelming her own sense of self and the fact that she clearly has a lot of self-loathing and self-consciousness and confusion about her identity as well. I love her so much)

- oooof this is the ‘the gang experience a microaggression’ episode huh (well more like macroagressions really)

hits a bit different with adult eyes and perspective huh

- hearing jean sound almost like a child when she says ‘that’s so unfair!’ somehow has me like ;______; -- she has to be so adult and responsible all the time, and having her be reduced to the kid she still is and should get to be in front of this awful awful man she could squash like a bug with the flick of a thought... ugh I’m Big Sad (it is funny that jean seemingly plays Every Sport tho djfhaskj)

- MY BOY IS BACK!!! this time with the duster coat and his eyes the right colour, im so happy (too bad about the subdued colour scheme tho; I adore his dumb bright pink getup with my whole heart)

it’s kind of adorable that he takes the time to take the bullies aside and go ‘I know these guys can’t wreck you without getting expelled, but I think you’ll find no law set down by god or man would stop me from doing so whenever I wanted to. so piss off and leave them alone’ lol he’s looking out for them, in his own way

- in this episode: remy lebeau wrangles some kids while looking bored yet mildly amused the whole time. what the fuck does magneto have on you for you to agree to this level of babysitting duty buddy

- fun detail I noticed b/c when I get a fave I hyperfixate: he gave rogue the king of hearts before, but he ‘introduces’ himself to the brotherhood here (lol) with the jack of hearts, probably to symbolize he’s here as someone who works for magneto in this setting and not as his own man? it’s a demotion he’s given himself there, anyway, might be he’s not very pleased about his current position huh

- I like it when rogue and kitty team up, they’re not very effective together but their squabbling is so cute and non-aggressive

- pietro is what draco malfoy would be if I ever found malfoy interesting to watch for even one moment, every time quicksilver talks I’m like ‘what wonderfully insufferable thing is going to come out of your mouth this time you little shit :’)’

- a) why are scott and logan shirtless for this scene? I am not complaining on the logan side of things at least but why and b) I laughed so hard I almost fell off my couch when scott asked logan if he’d ever been in love and he was like ‘once. she was the most beautiful bike I ever saw’ falsdfhaskjfhsakjlfhasklhjfd THE BEST VERSION OF WOLVERINE EVER, ACCEPT NO SUBSTITUTES

- mystique’s sheer dedication to being a petty bitch is kind of inspirational tbh, almost makes me want to go on a completely bonkers and extra crusade of personal revenge myself

- oooh they’re doing some genuinely cool things with vision/lack of vision in this one (it’s the scott left on his own in the desert without glasses one btw) even visually, dang! I’m so sad this show didn’t get more seasons than it did, honestly, it deserved it

- hell yeah jean wreck her, go get your man with the suspiciously specific clothing damage normally done to female characters

awww :’) okay yeah they’re super sweet, I love the tiny loving animation details like how he leans his head against her and her stroking his hair away from his eyes

- nooo don’t bully evan leave my t0tally r4dical sk8er boy alone :(

- I love the running joke of people fleeing in blind panic only to reveal that what they’re running from is kitty’s cheerful well meaning little face fskfaskh

- scott and jean are already peak married after officially being together for one episode and it’s adorable, and they just stone cold threw logan under the bus, rip wolverine we hardly knew ya

fjasdlfasldfhslajdkfhsadkjlfhsdkjalfhsdakfh h jean establishing herself as the alphabitch of this relationship by throwing her man to the wolves right after dsjfhaskjfhaskjhfsakjdhfaskjhfaskdhfskjahfskdajhf get smarter or get volunteered scott

- ...eyepatch lady is so hot ngl

oh evan went to the place hank used to go to calm down ;________; (honestly he’s kind of won a place in my heart just by being a pretty normal teenage boy haha)

- jesus fucking CHRIST can you imagine being storm having to look her sister in the eye as she tells her ‘I lost your only child, he’s *vague gesture* somewhere in the sewers we think’ this poor woman

- amanda the self admitted monster fucker you are so VALID (I love her and her family’s design so much tho!)

- it’s so cool that even in his human ‘disguise’ kurt’s fingers follow the shape of his actual hand beneath it rather than moving like a five fingered hand, it’s such a lovingly consistent little detail

- magneto and mystique in a breathless race to see who can be the shittiest parent... tune in next week for yet another parental nadir (also some low-poly gambit appearances in this one, for those at home keeping score (me), he’s in the background looking like someone drew him with their eyes closed fakjldfhasd look how they massacred my boy)

- someone please teach the brotherhood boys about consent huh

- jean ‘soccer mom before her time’ grey and her SUV dfhakjlhds :’)

- im sobbing rogue baby girl i’m so sorryyyyyy, this voice actress is so good, my parental instincts suddenly kicked into overdrive hearing the crack in her voice :( (bb me was right tho rogue centric episodes ARE the best episodes. that tension between ‘do I identify witn this character or am I crushing on her?? both???’ now has the fun new addition of ‘oh god oh no you are a baby I want to shield you with my body from everything trying to hurt you’)

- mystique is like ‘so you see despite you telling me you never wanted to see me again I completely disrespected that and posed as a friend your age, manipulated you by offering you the mirage of direly needed emotional intimacy and belonging and added some sprinkles of homoerotic tension to it just to massively worsen your already existing grievous psychosexual trauma and identity issues... out of love’

god go jump in a black hole you fucking monster

- there’s some very interesting and quite subtle subtext about the people she’s morphing into and what that says about her mental state/how it shows off some of her emotional baggage with the rest of the team. it’s like she’s switching between people/powers that fit the purpose as if she’s going through cycles of fight/flight (and then bursts of freeze where she’s herself, which is... so sad)

- this whole episode is hurting my heart but rogue at full power is undeniably epic

- ‘professor x get your goddamn act together and get this poor girl some fucking tHERAPY’ challenge

- SAFE PAPA LOGAN ;_____;

- EYYYYYY opening straight on My Lad, I cannot stop winning!!!!!

fasdfhsad disintegrating the window with a smiley face... remy I do love you more than my heart can bear honestly, hello may we speak about the fact that his urge to be a little shit is so deep and strong it survives mind control (that little breathed out ‘hiah!’ as he vaults the fence too dsakfjsd)

hahaha and he does up the coat fhsalfdsaj

- magneto dismissing other telepaths like ‘puh-lease, your Meaningful Looks have got nothing on my ex-husband’s’

- :’) rogue and kurt sibling timeees

- say what you want but this pyro guy’s got job satisfaction in being a creepy arsonist with a weird recurring horse theme (well at least twice but still weird)

- I love how beast is the kindest man to ever walk the earth but also straight up savage, this man drags people so hard their ancestors wince in their graves

- gambit taking the time to complete the guard’s game of solitaire -- this episode is giving me everything I want. u little disgrace mr lebeau

and THEN he takes the spider out in the most hilariously bonkers way my heart is so FULL

(I love that when magneto moves by he looks startled and has to quickly move his head out of the way to avoid getting kicked in the temple too that’s a fun detail)

I’m so INTO how this sequence shows off that his greatest strength isn’t even his powers (which are pretty straightforward, really, he makes go boom, longer time and bigger thing bigger boom) but that he’s clever and creative and always extremely ready to be the most harebrained-bananapants-extra-in-a-deceptively-laidback-sort-of-way person in the room (I actually have some genuinely Deep Thoughts about how his whole character does a really interesting thing with having the straightforwardly destructive nature of his powers yield to what his nature as a person is, and how using the playing cards play (heh) into it, maybe I’ll write it out some day. just the fact that he could use anything, but he deliberately chose something that adds style and playfulness and corny charm to it and that also limits the damage of the explosions compared to if he habitually used something with more mass... I find it fascinating how much he’s made a story around himself with it and how deeply it shows he does have a good heart, at the end of the day, in almost a metatextual way. he doesn’t want to destroy things or people, he’s at worst (and best lol) a thief.)

- I honestly have literally no memory of white nick fury (which seems so weird now isn’t it funny) in this series from when I was a kid, he clearly did not make an impression on me lol

- mr wolverine ‘assigned canadian at birth’ x-men

- oh man I dig the androgynity of x-23′s outfit (even tho they had to compensate with the long hair, which... kind of doesn’t make sense in-universe but does on a design level because it’s a crucial thing that she’s a female clone of logan so yeah okay fine whatever have your arbitrary gender markers if you must haha)

ooooooh that’s actually really clever, they make her gender gradually more obvious as she unravels through the episode and her outfit changes -- first the mask coming off, and then her jacket opening to show her silhouette more clearly, that’s cool!

- my god what really sets this show apart is how much it invests in little character and relationship moments, it’s just so fucking GOOD! it gives laura looking in on those moments such depth and weight because it’s new to her but established to us as an audience, this is how you make found family devastating people (storm growing bonsai trees is so charming too haha)

- ooof this is honestly quite harrowing

SHE’S SO SMALL COMPARED TO HIM I’M CRYING (at least that part of his genes translated over faslkfsjdh short king, I say this with all the love and support of a fellow short monarch)

- tabitha seems to just be running around doing precisely whatever the fuck she wants and you know what I support her even if she is an asshole her father left her a bunch of trauma and no fucks left to give

- still thrilled about professor x explaining the spider key fuckup to magneto after the fact like ‘magnus you dumb bitch this is why we split up’

- awww kitty has anime and movie posters on her wall and sleeps with a stuffed toy :’)

- remy rogue

🤝

doing completely unnecessary parkour around the brotherhood living room seemingly just for the hell of it... I’m not saying soulmates but fucking soulmates

- fhsadkjlfhsakjldfhsadjkfhsdajkfh just as gambit’s soul-level need to be a little shit survived his bout of mind control, rogue’s deep and urgent desire to kiss gambit full on the mouth survived hers I can’t breathe

she looks so pleased with herself too GOOD FOR YOU GIRL at least get something out of this other than more trauma

also not only the fact that he’s smart enough to figure out what’s going on (though he’s only partially right about who’s behind it. I do so enjoy gambit/mystique deep and sincere antipathy as a constant across all universes tho lmao pure wlw/mlm hostility) but also that he keeps fending her off like he’s not trying to hurt her even though she’s in nigh on unstoppable and invulnerable terminator mode... awww

- gambit having absolutely no patience for wolverine and sabertooth’s bullshit macho-off and consistently being this little biker trio’s one brain cell is adding years to my life with every passing moment

his voice is a little different in these scenes too, a bit softer and less like he’s trying to impress someone, it’s nice

- hank: well I barely recognize any of these (completely made up) ‘ancient egyptian hieroglyphs’ but from what I can make out -- *proceeds to infodump a perfect coherent narrative* fjdhfak

listen this whole thing is such nonsense on so many levels, I’m just turning my brain off so I won’t have to think about it okay, the compulsion to put ancient aliens in egypt haunts us as a culture

- I am CACKLING about gambit in the snow after having to listen to these two chucklefucks ooze testosterone at each other for hours

he started out taking it in good cheer and is now reduced to ‘dieu would both of you just jump off this fUCKING mountain please’

- ah. a little oops-a-daisy there, we seem to have unleashed the apocalypse. please stand by (they really don’t pull their punches with the season cliffhangers in this show haha)

- opening the season on gambit’s merrily grinning face is the easiest way to gain my favour. yes good this season may commence

baby u r my

ANGELLLLLLLL

(he’s so cute here tho haha I think it shows the design isn’t unsalvagable, just get him better hair and stubble more like logan has and you’ve basically got it)

love his exasperated eyeroll when the dude gets spooked (by his eyes? or just the general weirdness?) too

he’s just trying to keep this crazy family of evil mutants together and unmurdered by one another until they’ve managed to avert the end of the world, bless him

- oh NO rogue’s LIP wobbles my hhhhhheart ;____; such a good animation detail to put in

- like... I know kurt is just a sad scared teenager with a lot of shit going on and all the adults are too busy averting the end of the world to help him... but buddy maybe don’t ask your sister to wake her abuser (who forced her to kickstart the end of the world!!!!!) when she feels utterly unsafe even with her statue version around huh

- ...wanda is good and I want only good things for her. and for her dad to be disemboweled for what he did to her both the first time around and when he forced her to forget I mean what

- magneto throwing an epic satelite-slinging tantrum b/c ‘no I am the biggest sexiest strongest mutant of the pack :(’... erik fucking get over yourself

- yes boys absolutely go along with a plan suggested by a dude who looks at you like this

nothing bad can come of this surely asdfkhsa

- lance’s quarter of a braincell always trying to go ‘hey wait, maybe... not do this???’ and it never helps lol

- in this episode: Logan Has A Bad Day

...some very specific bondage positions he’s held in here, I am sure this episode awakened something in someone once upon a time lol

- logan shielding x-23 with his body... im fine it’s okay I’m not crying don’t look at me

- afsdhlsdfjasdlk those sure are some ‘scottish’ accents flsadkjhkdsjahfsd

- scott relieved to finally be able to cede the position of ‘charles xavier’s least favourite son’ to someone else fjsaklfhsajd (poor scott it’s not your fault honey)

supremely cowardly to suggest there is an ex-wife involved rather than charles slutting his way around the british isles back in the day but okay

- kurt with a cold is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. it’s okay kid it’ll get better soon

- ...is there an implication here that professor x is naturally blond. because I am losing my entire little mind about it (i mean he at least has to carry the gene, as does this lady?)

ETA: upon doing some research into this I can indeed confirm that charles xavier does seem to be naturally blond, and after this knowledge I will never be the same

- “listen, dracula” fskdafghasd oh scott you sweet baby angel I love you

- I know jean’s abilities are a bit ‘as strong or as weak as the plot needs right now’ at this point (so you can have the setup for what’s going to happen with them eventually and she’s basically invincible ;____;), and normally I’m cool with it but god I want her to just squash lucas like a little bug

- ewwwww please don’t ever say ‘daddy’ like that again

- ...what the fuck is even going on this episode’s a mess

like okay the split personality thing could be something but the way it’s done... what just happened lol

- MY BOY EVAN IS BACK! with a real glowup too (...though kind of weird how he suddenly looks like a grown man)

- augh scott’s eyes are so pretty oh my god ;__________________________;

- that episode in the first season where evan makes the ‘this is my new family!!’ video is so sad now (also, again, his poor poor parents)

- time for: life affirming road trip with gambit (involuntary) faskljdfhaskjd

stunt therapist remy lebeau

- I mean the way he goes about it is batshit insane and it’s very much secondary to what he’s actually up to but this is the first time rogue’s sounded genuinely hopeful and confident and like herself in like a season <3

- he is disconcertingly pleased about her nearly throwing him off the train, and may I just say I agree it’s so nice to see rogue with her old fire back

- the first time I watched this it was of course dubbed into norwegian, so I had no idea either of these characters were southern lol (though to be fair I probably wouldn’t have had much context for what it meant exactly either, I was like ten at the time and not too interested in america) I seem to dimly remember the norwegian voice actor did a little more of a ‘french’-tinged accent for gambit all over tho haha

- you know what respect where it’s due, pyro dude knows to live his life for the lols and one has to admire his sociopathic dedication to it

interesting that he, too, seems to have fucking hated magneto -- I wonder if the implication here is that he kept all the acolytes in line with blackmail or by keeping something/one hostage? (except sabertooth maybe he’d just have to say ‘you get to fuck shit up and fight wolverine’ and that’d be enough)

- fsdakfhsd he’s so focused on her he doesn’t notice that guy about to hit him fkafhsa

- fuck everything else except whatever the hell these two’ve got going on

- it’s weirdly cathartic to have rogue have a conversation with someone who was not happily adopted as well, I don’t think kurt like. gets it because his parents loved him unconditionally and still do

birds of a feather motherfucker

- fun detail: when the x-men team are on the shore and logan is sniffing around scott is stepping in something and trying to wipe it off his boots in the background

- when he wakes up after passing out from the touch he’s smiling even though she’s standing over him looking like the rage of god outlined by the moon fsajfsa well the last time he passed out like that it was from a kiss, maybe he still has some hopes and dreams in that direction lol (also he recovers from the tumble down the hill first and is checking on her before accidentally brushing her cheek with his hand, which I thought was sweet)

and it was in that moment he knew he fucked up *passes out*

- ‘I can explain’ can u remy. can u

- did it ever even occur to you to just. ask her. to help you. I mean I know it didn’t but like rogue’s always one second away from throwing hands with some bully and is stupidly ride or die, if you’d given her the puppydog eyes she would have crumbled immediately (fair enough I guess this entire episode is telling us he’s not from a background where he has much experience with people just helping him without a price haha)

- his eyes glowing when he’s angry or upset or using a lot of his power is undeniably cool as all hell. I’m just saying it would be Big Sexy if they sort of flickered with light in moments of genuine vulnerability okay

- his coat... his coat is what makes the Silhouette tm and I could not be happier about it

- another parent of the year contestant enters the running lol “hey remy have you ever considered that you’re more of a walking bomb factory than a person? that’s certainly how I think of you hahaha c’mon kid let’s go”

- the running joke of jean luc getting dollar signs in his eyes seeing the other mutant powers and gambit being like ‘nO!!!!’ and pulling him along is amazing haha

- from the way he looks when he touches rogue accidentally and the way he talks to his dad I’m sort of getting the feeling this gambit might actually be a bit younger than he looks?

here too -- idk why but it’s making the ‘wait is he baby???’ alarms go off in my head haha. very early twenties at most.

- and we’ve officially seen him with all the face cards in the heart suit folks! (yes this is the sort of thing my brain notices no I don’t know either)

- poor logan running his ass off this whole episode in a panic and then she’s like ‘nah he’s fine (in several meanings of the word ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ) please put him down’ hfaskfsda

- rogue without makeup!!! her eyes look so naked like this haha <3

- oooh here’s a really interesting thing that tickles my brain a bit in this specific part of the scene where gambit frees his dad -- the part where he’s leaning against the door frame waiting for jean luc, who’s about to suggest using the opportunity to ruin the rival gang from the inside rather than slipping away while they still can

from his expression here he knows what’s about to happen, what jean luc is about to say, and it’s clearly a ‘man who thought he’d lost all hope loses last additional bit of hope he didn’t even know he still had’ sort of situation. he KNOWS what jean luc is like, and it still hurts that he really, honestly can’t give him even this, can’t appreciate that remy’s already done all this shit for him when he extremely didn’t have to, without immediately (no really, it took him less than ten seconds to go there? jesus) demanding more.

remy tells him “I’m just here for you” and jean luc does not understand it. remy seems to be sincere in this motivation -- rogue certainly thinks so, having experienced it second hand and found enough at least emotional merit in it to decide he was worth saving even after all his bullshit (lol a bit of a running theme maybe. I think it’s very telling that after she absorbed mystique she was like ‘what the FUCK you’re a fucking monster’, and after she absorbed gambit she went ‘you did the wrong thing for the right reasons’ after she got over the first wave of outrage)

there’s also what he says as he stands there: “You don’t need me for that”, with the distinct implication that jean luc would only keep him around because he has a use for him and for no other reason -- and then jean luc shamelessly doubles down on that by specifying that it’s not even him he’s got a use for as such, just his powers. that’s some kicking puppies level of deliberately missing the point, it’s almost impressive in how cheerfully mean it is haha

this idea of using people is really important in this episode because remy’s doing basically exactly the same thing to rogue to begin with; it doesn’t really matter to his plan that it’s her that’s with him through this, just what her powers are. (I think it’s p r e t t y solidly implied that he does actually like her a lot outside of that too and maybe there is some comfort in having her around for this, but mostly he’s behind a smokescreen of lies through the whole thing sooo I doubt he’s even aware of it, honestly)

but then it does matter that it’s her when she comes back for him, even after what he did. and unlike jean luc he understands what that means, that she did that for him, and that she didn’t have to. and instead of asking her for more, in return he gives her the thing it’s been established is what he considers the most valuable thing he has; his ‘last card’, the thing he’s credited with keeping him alive many a time, basically. it’s gone from using to mutuality, a tentative place of friendship, and at the end of the day he is a different man than his adoptive father, with a capacity for selflessness and love he lacks. which is of course some of the same stuff going on with rogue and mystique too, except rogue acted from a more fragile and unstable place and did something she regrets, or at least has a LOT of doubts about now, and she found some catharsis in helping someone make a different choice in a similar situation. man there’s some Stuff going on under the surface here haha

(by the way it’s a weirdly... meaningless yet intensely meaningful thing, the gifting of a symbol? of an idea? but he’s putting something very crucial of himself into her hands, is the subtext, and he expects her to understand, which she also does seem to do. at the beginning of the episode he’s proving that he’s seen something true about her -- “You’re such an unhappy girl”, knowing where she comes from, the way she’s mourning her lost confidence and autonomy with her abilities -- and here she’s proving she’s seen something true about him. :’) I wish this show had gone on long enough for this dynamic to progress, it’s really interesting and touching)

- gambit dragging himself up onto dry land seeing someone approaching (to help?!): :D

gambit seeing that it’s logan and the look on his face: D:

- rogue using her powers so confidently and fearlessly in this episode tho!!!!

- *me crying* and then her FAMBILY comes to take her home and he says he’s looking out for her too and kurt still loves her even though they’re having a conflict thing between them and she’s finally able to use her powers without so much fear again and --

- ...did I just watch some baby lesbian love at first sight shit right now???

- okay last two episodes let’s go

- HELL YEAH STORM (I love that she’s like ‘don’t give me a dumb order like that and I won’t have to disobey it’ too sdfjsaj) her voice has such command I’m usually very much not the ‘step on me’ type butttt

- y’know I feel like apocalypse’s main fault across all versions I’ve seen of him is that he’s like an immortal superpowered god king and he’s not even sexy. like at least make him hot if he’s going to be insufferable in every other way

- also callout post for apocalypse: one time he made gambit into the Horseman of Death... and didn’t even make him sexy!!! you were handed remy lebeau, supreme bi disaster slut of the x men universe, and you couldn’t even make his brainwashed superpowered evil side hot?? a beautiful stubbled twunk with glowing red eyes and extremely charming :> face practically delivers himself into your hands and you do that to him???? I mean I’m sure apocalypse did some other bad stuff too but that was the worst one

(comics are so dumb y’all)

- having to watch jean cry is emotional terrorism!! ;___; she has such older sister/mom energy, whenever she gets sad and helpless it hurts

- oh, OH so PROFESSOR X you’ll make into a hunk and ~*strategically*~ rip his clothes to show off a nipple and a flawless pec in a way that makes me extremely uncomfortable because he’s like The Dad??? apocalypse you are rotten to the core this is unforgivable

- so wait wanda never actually gets her real memories back. what the FuCk I hope that was a dropped storyline because they ended the show tragically prematurely rather than like. the plan

- why is spyke calling storm ‘storm’ show that’s his auntie o!! >:(

- as a society we need to acknowledge that apocalypse looks like a fucking clown

- ooooh yeah I have been thinking that this show’s greatest visual weakness so far has been not having a visual way to show telepathy/battles of the minds, but this is a pretty cool way to do it! better late than never

- I’m so happy rogue gets to end this herself, since she was forced into starting it against her will, it’s just nice and neat storytelling

- YEAH FUCKING TELL HER KURT AND ROGUE I AM SO PROUD OF YOU and she has the temerity to look pissed off oh my god

the only valid thing mystique has done in her entire life is be in love with destiny. literally everything else she gets up to is a travesty. like I know objectively she’s hot but my loathing for her stops me from even appreciating it. I do enjoy loathing her tho so please don’t change her haha

(a bit odd to have kurt’s attitude to her swing so much but I’m just going to assume he and rogue had a good long conversation after ‘cajun spice’ and that he understands what’s going on better now)

- this last part is such a cruel tease faskdfhsdaj ‘here are all the cool-ass things we had planned. sucks you never get to see it huh’ im devastated

- magneto without his helmet and playing charmingly with children like charles is going ‘well at least I saved my marriage finally’ fsadkhfjsd (honestly tho I would be super interested in seeing how they’d redeem this magneto because he’s been a real bitch the whole time lol)

there’s an interesting thing here where magneto looks down at wanda as the last thing he does on screen before this epilogue part (yeah I hope it fucking haunts you forever what you did to her erik you absolute piece of hot garbage) and the last thing charles does is look at jean b/c he knows what’s going to happen to her and it breaks his heart... Dramatic Parallells

- just the hint of jean as the phoenix has me in full D:D:D: mode tho maybe I wouldn’t have survived it

- gambit in the last groupshot with his arm around rogue ;^) I mean I’m sure they’re headed for some turns and roundabouts along the way but what’s that thing she says as her wedding vow, that she’ll always find her way back? anyway that got me in my heart

- man I really wish this show had been given more seasons, we were barely even getting warmed up here :’(

#x men evolution #x men #gambit #rogue x gambit #aaah this is like therapy for me... just dumping all my emotions into a tumblr post and then let them go into the ether #I am now wondering if I'm desperate enough to go all the way back to the x-men animated series (which I've never seen before!)#like am I willing to go there for more Contente. time will tell I suppose #happy tag #...this is very long #MAN why can't I channel this dumbass energy into fiction writing I'd get so much DONE

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