#-> which is what he's been meaning to do all along and it culminates in his ultimate sacrifice

[emotionallychargedtowel]

nominating a runner for 25 ji

So, @my-rose-tinted-glasses and @lurkingshan have been talking about which lead character in 25 ji Akasaka de should, or is more likely to, do the traditional climactic run toward the beloved that we expect from a lot of Japanese BLs. Of course, even if there isn't a literal running scene, it seems certain that someone will have to take decisive action in an equivalent way in order for the story to reach a resolution. Well, given how obsessed I am with this show, it's not surprising that I have thoughts.

The answer might be a bit different depending on which we're talking about--who should, or who's the most likely. But I'll set that aside for the moment.

I don't think this necessarily tells us who ought to be the runner, but it's worth noting that the person who has initiated the vast majority of any closeness or intimacy in this relationship has been Hayama.

He starts right away, initiating a conversation with Shirasaki at the table read, touching his hair, and saying he's looking forward to playing his lover. At the bar, he puts himself forward as a potential sex partner, grabs Shirasaki's arm to stop him from leaving, kisses him, and basically makes a sex appointment with him for the following afternoon. Did he ever intend to act on that plan? It's hard to say. But either because he sees how petrified Shirasaki is when he meets him at his place, or for other reasons, he says or pretends that he only made the offer at the bar in order to keep Shirasaki from hooking up with a stranger. Then he suggests that they “date” each other instead and comes up with the idea of making a list of things their characters do in the drama and treating it like a to-do list.

And he keeps on initiating. He plans their aquarium date along with all of its couple-y activities; shows up at Shirasaki's apartment unannounced to watch the first episode of their show when it airs, invites himself to spend the night, and spoons Shirasaki in bed; invites Shirasaki to his place to make gnocchi and gives him a dough-kneading lesson that leads to suggestive hand doings, and so on, culminating in initiating their kiss scene rehearsal, which is at least as much an excuse for them to make out as it is actual scene preparation.

But how is all of this framed for Shirasaki, and what does it mean to Hayama?

Of course, the fact that they both portray their relationship as acting preparation and nothing more changes the meaning of all these actions and the wherewithal it takes to initiate them.

I do think it matters that Shirasaki was the one who brought up the idea that he needed to have firsthand experience with love and sexuality in order to relate to his character and took decisive--one might say, impulsive--action to make it happen. Hayama took his cues from that.

But it's hard to pin any blame on either of them for the miscommunication they got entangled in. Shirasaki didn't propose a pretend relationship to Hayama. His plan was to pick up a random dude at the bar. Hayama did propose the pretend relationship, but it was in response to Shirasaki's insistence that he needed to have this type of experience to prepare for his role. At first, he just took the place of some stranger as Shirasaki's hookup; when he changed the plan to the pretend dating thing, it was a step back from something that seemed to scare Shirasaki and toward a set of activities that would actually prepare him for the part in a way that picking up some rando wouldn't have done. Of course, it didn't hurt that Hayama also really wanted to do those things with Shirasaki.

We know why Shirasaki thinks it's plausible that Hayama is only doing the fake dating thing to help him with his performance.

For one thing, that's how it all started. He said he needed this experience and Hayama said he'd take on the boyfriend role. But it's also because of Shirasaki's insecurities about his overall self-worth, his legitimacy as an actor, and the difference in status between him and Hayama. In the first episode, Shirasaki thinks about costarring in a drama with Hayama and says to himself, “that person above the clouds is now next to me." That's how huge the distance between them seems to him.

Shirasaki has idealized Hayama ever since college. And then there’s this narrative he has in his mind about the difference between being scouted and having to petition to be allowed into the acting profession. It’s almost funny, actually. When Hayama was scouted as a model, Shirasaki spouted off about how it was a shame because he should continue acting. This affected Hayama deeply. But Shirasaki not only forgot about that comment, now that Hayama has managed to transition into acting, he has since rewritten history so that Hayama being scouted was an honor.

The narrative that Hayama was scouted and that means he’s special while Shirasaki had to beg to be allowed in because he’s less worthy is a really tempting one. Insecurities can be very persuasive under the best of circumstances, and Shirasaki’s circumstances aren’t the best. He has tried for years to break into the business with little success. So he had lots of time to ruminate on this narrative of the chosen and the not-chosen.

So for Shirasaki, it’s fairly simple. He always looked up to Hayama and thought he was special in a way he didn’t see in himself. Then he spent years watching his success from afar and idealizing him even further. Of course it’s hard for him to believe that he could really be with Hayama.

That part of the story uses one of the most common tropes in BL: the "someone as great as this person could never like me back" thing. It's a tried-and-true story element for a reason. It's something that happens a lot in real life (well, it has happened to me quite a few times, at least), so it's very relatable. And in my experience, it's particularly prone to happening to queer folks for a variety of reasons. Sometimes it gets stretched to ridiculous extremes in BL, and it gets annoying. But it's developed with care in this series and feels realistic and earned.

The portrayal of this dynamic also has some nuance and balance because despite all this, Shirasaki actually does come close to realizing Hayama likes him back.

He shows real insight when he notices signs of this, and he shows tenacity when he persists in having hope even after he hears the rumor about Hayama having an old flame he was still hung up on. It's only after overhearing Hayama himself say explicitly that he still has feelings for that person that he gives up hope, not realizing the person Hayama is talking about is himself. This misunderstanding isn't a cheap ploy, as @ginnymoonbeam has pointed out. Enough care has been taken with the story to make it really make sense.

This is where it’s also worth noting that while episode 7 was focused on showing us another side of Hayama, it also gave us some new insights into Shirasaki’s character. It didn’t tell us anything completely novel, but it made a point of explicitly mentioning and more thoroughly illustrating Shirasaki’s uncompromising, frank side. We’d already seen it in action. For example, take his rather abrupt (but salient) comment to Sakama back in the first episode about how “creating is always difficult" for actors, no matter what the details are of a given production or role. Or his stubborn insistence on repetitively calling Yamase “Yamase-kun” and not “Kazuma” (his given name) as he requested. But personally, this aspect of him only partially registered for me until episode 7 highlighted it from Hayama’s perspective. And I think it’s a part of his personality that matters here.

Shirasaki is very insecure, and he gets down on himself easily. But in some ways, he’s also very confident. There’s a kind of confidence in being opinionated, a belief that you’re competent enough to trust your own perceptions and judgment and stand by them. It's similar to the tenacity he shows when he continues to believe Hayama may return his feelings (at least, at first).

Basically, Shirasaki’s insecurities are hampering him, but he seems to have more of the kind of mental resources that would help someone speak up and take action in a situation like this.

What about Hayama? What’s been holding him back?

At first glance, it seems like he simply doesn’t think Shirasaki likes him back, thinks this is all just about acting for Shirasaki, and assumes it has to be temporary. And that’s not wrong. He thinks all these things. But there’s an additional layer here that was revealed in episode 7, Hayama's big flashback episode.

Hayama learned from his mother as a child that he would only be valued by the people he loves 1) for his appearance and 2) if he doesn’t inconvenience them with his emotions, which are by definition unwanted. According to the schemas he formed during his childhood, even expressions of love and happiness are unwelcome, as illustrated by his destroying the box of little gifts for his mom and her reminder not to show his teeth when he smiles.

It’s no wonder that the idea that Shirasaki only wants to be close to him for the purpose of acting makes sense to Hayama. To put it simply, he expects people to be interested in his outsides, but not his insides. He expects his love to be rejected but his calm, cool, seemingly self-possessed prettiness to be valued. He learned from his mother that letting on that he wants things from another person not only won’t get his needs met, but will inevitably lead to rejection. Even wanting to express his love for another person is unthinkable. In the system of thinking his mother taught him, his love may be a gift, but it's a very burdensome one. Like the box of paper trinkets he made for his mother as a child, it’s better to take that love, scrunch it down, and hide it away.

Because of his family-of-origin baggage, acting is a double-edged sword for Hayama. As I talked about in my last post about 25 ji, acting provides him a with the opportunity to express emotions that he was forbidden to express in his family growing up, emotions he has largely lost the ability to express at all. (Often, he can’t even consciously feel those feelings anymore). Acting not only provides an outlet for emotional expression, it even provides him with a script to follow so that he isn't hampered by his inability to get in touch with his own feelings. In this way, acting is a precious opportunity to get in touch with parts of himself that had almost been completely lost to him. It’s a way of making up for what his mother took away from him.

But there’s another side to Hayama's acting career and the validation he's received for it: it actually reinforces a lot of that family-of-origin stuff. When he receives praise for his acting, he’s being praised for something external. No matter how well he does his job, no matter how expressive he is or how authentic his emotions appear in a performance, at the end of the day he’s pretending, because that’s the nature of acting. He’s being validated for his surface again. For his shell, not what’s under it.

For Hayama, the idea that Shirasaki only wants him for a pretend relationship makes perfect sense. People he loves don’t want him to express that to them. They’ll find it burdensome, repulsive, or at best, irrelevant. They want him to perform and be pretty. They want the pretend version of him at all times.

I think it’s also notable that Hayama tells the story of their fake relationship and his growing feelings as if he was barely in control of his actions. “The next thing I knew, I was running. The next thing I knew, I was kissing you.” He’s too spun around by everything to be calculating or even rational. He is taking action, sometimes before he’s even really aware of it. His impassive exterior makes it seem as if he must have some kind of purpose behind his actions, but that's just the mask he wears because of his family-of-origin stuff. There's no master plan, just someone so out of touch with their emotions that they can't predict their own impulses.

So who should run?

This could be a question of who deserves to run--who hasn't, in a sense, pulled their weight so far in this quasi-relationship, or who has done the most damage (that would arguably be Shirasaki, who ended their fake relationship, but of course, he had no idea this would hurt Hayama and actually thought he was sparing him a lot of inconvenience).

My philosophy when it comes to this is pretty well summed up by that famous Karl Marx quote: "From each according to his ability, to each according to his needs." If one or both of these characters has the ability to close the gap between them, wholly or partially, it would behoove them to do it whether or not the other one has done enough by whatever standard we might apply. In other words, the "who should run" question is (in my view) best framed as a question of who is best equipped to do something to fix things.

Each of the lead characters has something potentially useful that has come more naturally to them so far. Hayama is better at making things happen. This is largely due to the impulsiveness I was just describing. So far, he has only acted in this way when he has some kind of cover story he can hide behind to explain what he's doing. But I wonder if that will continue to be the case for long. Shirasaki, on the other hand, is better at believing in himself and the possibility that the person he fell for might feel the same way. This hasn’t translated to actually taking action much so far. But again, it’s about time for that to change. If they can only get activated somehow, his determination and conviction could be exactly what they need to bridge the gap between them. I’m hopeful they'll both manage to make use of these advantages before it's too late.

I’ll tell you one thing I know for sure. It’s not a coincidence that there’s a shot in the preview that echoes the episode 6 breakup scene, in which a glass door closed between Shirasaki and Hayama.

Of course, that scene was shown again from a different angle in episode 7 and that time, viewers could see Hayama’s devastated expression for the first time. This shot in the preview is from a similar angle, showing both Shirasaki’s and Hayama’s faces. But this time, Hayama is right behind Shirasaki and he grabs the handle of the door to stop him from leaving. (Sorry for all the type and stuff on the image here, it's a screenshot from the show's IG.)

I ended up having a lot of thoughts that came up around this question, but I don't really have an answer. It'll depend on the circumstances, I think. It would be best if they both made an effort to meet in the middle. And really, isn't that what usually happens when there's a classic JBL run? In the cases I've seen, there was always a confession by one character that went wrong in some way, then after some time, the other person reciprocated by running to them. Neither one of these characters has directly said that they have feelings for the other person beyond their acting roles. So maybe what we're in for, what's needed to resolve this story, is a two-step process. Whoever manages to make the first step, the other will need to make the second. If the glass door image is what it looks like, maybe Hayama will make the first step in the next episode.

[chuluoyi]

unpopular opinion: i think several fan-favorite deaths in jjk are... justifiable :')

[21wanderer]

Night at the Museum

Perhaps there had been signs he had overlooked, maybe there had been plenty of clues that something was going to happen at the museum, that someone had made plans and preparations, and it was culminating tonight.

The museum had amongst its collections, a collection of movie memorabilia, one of the memorabilia being a set of costumes of Batman and Robin from the movie of the same name from 1997 with George Clooney and Chris O'Donnell in the respective roles. A movie of questionable quality certainly, but iconic in its own way.

The suits were by no means unique, as there were made multiple of them during the taping of the movie, but now a set was on display here along side other superhero and movie pieces. As the night watch, he was responsible for keeping an eye on all these artefacts, which usually wasn’t particularly eventful, he might do some cleaning and some fixes around the museum, but otherwise, there wasn’t much to do. Not that he complained, he loved history and could enjoy the exhibits by himself. He did have a particular good eye for the Batman and Robin costumes, but apparently he wasn’t the only one.

An uneventful night became very eventful, when he entered the movie memorabilia collection, he had heard voices and went to investigate. Half of the security cameras weren’t working, which probably was a sign, that something bad was going to happen, but he still went to check. As soon as he entered the room, he was assaulted and overpowered by two masked men. They pressed him firmly against the wall, whilst stuffing a gag into his mouth, they then forced him down on a chair, and tied him to it with rope from their duffle bag. They didn’t seemed fazed by the night watch, quite the contrary, they seemed even more excited, as if they had wanted someone to witness this… And the night watch, whilst fearful and shocked, felt something stir inside him.

These two burglars were a mystery, they didn’t seem like your typical burglar, there were something strange about their approach and their goal, that the night watch would soon come to realize. He saw them approach the Batman display, whispering excitedly to one another, not even caring that he was sitting here watching everything. Had his mouth not been gagged, his jaw would have dropped, as he saw the two men do, what he had always dreamt of doing; touching the suits.

The burglars began to undress the two mannequins, the night watch trying to figure out exactly what they were doing and why. He could feel his stomach twisting and turning as he looked in fear, but also longing as the superhero costumes were disassembled and discarded on the floor.

They had undressed the two mannequins of Batman and Robin and thrown all the neoprene and leather on the floor. The night watch was baffled, if they wanted to steal the suits, why haven’t they just stuffed them in their duffle bag and ran? Was there more they wanted?

From their duffle bag one of the masked figure pulled out a utility knife. A chill ran down the night watch’s spine. What were they planning? He stared entranced and fearful, his conflicting emotions made it difficult for him to think straight. He was starting to remember the potential danger he was in, he stared at it with his heart in his throat, fearing that this could turn ugly pretty quickly.

But to his surprise and bewilderment, they did something else. With the blade of the knife one of the masked men began cutting off the head of the naked Robin mannequin, he then handed it to his accomplice, who took the head and turned his back on the night watch.

With his free hand the burglar pulled off his balaclava and dropped it on the floor. The night watch could only see the back of his head, but he appeared to be young and skinny with a buzz cut haircut.

To the night watch’s big surprise the young man plunged his head into the hollowed out Robin-head, pushing and pulling the silicone into place. The night watch wouldn’t have believed it was possible, but he could not take his eyes of it. After what seemed like an eternity the new ’Robin’ turned around a flashed a smile. It was unbelievable, it was so realistic. It was like the young Chris O’Donnell stood in the room, the night watch was in awe, he now knew exactly what the burglars wanted, and he felt aroused, he felt insatiable, as terrified as he was, he wanted to see it all.

The still masked burglar nodded in approval, having dropped the headless Robin silicone mannequin on the floor, he then went over to the naked ’Batman’.

And just like before, he cut off the head, turned his back on the night watch, pulled off his mask and plunged his head into the hollowed Batman’s.

Once the other burglar was satisfied with his new face, he turned towards his accomplice, who placed his hand on the George Clooney-impersonator’s face, before leaning in and kissing him.

Despite the potential danger he was in, the night watch eagerly awaited, what he assumed the burglars would do next. He wasn’t sure they would actually do it, but they didn’t disappoint him. They stripped themselves of their black onesies, and ran the utility knife down the spines of both of the mannequins, creating large enough gaps for them to enter.

Slowly, but steadily they both began to force their way inside the hollow mannequins. The night watch felt like his nether regions were about to explode at the sight. The two men were transforming into movie stars as their scrawny bodies disappeared into the silicone, replacing them with the perfectly sculpted physiques of Batman and Robin.

There was something completely breathtaking about their actions. The night watch could only dream of what it would be like to slip into a silicone body like that, instantly gaining flawless skin, a handsome face and some quick and easy muscle mass. He wanted nothing more, than to be like those two right now.

Once they were both inside they began a process of self-gratification, rubbing their hands all over their new smooth and toned bodies. The night watch was in awe at the sight. It was flawless. The two impersonators were clearly as aroused as him as they embraced each other, kissing each other deeply and passionately with their erections pressing against each other.

Having lost any sense of time, their make-out could have lasted hours as they caressed their new ’naked’ bodies, clearly beyond satisfied with their result. But they weren’t quite done yet, there was still a final trick in their bag.

They began rubbing some sort of paste on each other’s backs and around their necks. It dawned on the night watch what they were doing… They were sealing themselves inside. He would have thought that it would have been unbearably warm inside those silicone bodies, but apparently it wasn’t the case. They were going all in, no turning back, they wanted to stay as Clooney and O'Donnell forever.

The night watch couldn’t bear it anymore, he was so full of longing and desire and without knowing it and despite the gag, he let out a deep and audible moan.

For the first time for what seemed like hours, the impersonators turned towards their spectator, they both chuckled, seemingly enjoying they were being watched. The naked George-impersonator took a few steps toward their hostage: ”I hope you are enjoying the show, it’s only halfway done.” Did he have any idea, how much their witness was into this?

’George’ flexed his right arm, it responded flawlessly, you wouldn’t believe it wasn’t real unless you had seen, what had transpired before. ‘George’ turned away, looking at ’Chris’ who had begun pulling on the Robin-costume.

The night watch stared still entranced, no longer feeling any fear, just unyielding desire. ‘Chris’ had slipped into the pants of the Robin-suit, they were a perfect fit of course, maybe even a little tighter, but the mannequin was made to fit the proportions of the suit, and now, in some bizarre way, they still were.

‘George’ had also put on the pants of the Batman-suit and then helped ‘Chris’ zipping the back of Robin’s top. ‘Chris’ returned the favour as ‘George’ slipped into Batman’s top. The mannequins were almost completely dressed, they put on the costumes’ gloves, boots, belts and capes, then ‘Batman’ pulled on his leather cowl and ‘Robin’ his mask.

The transformation was complete, it was like the mannequins had simply come to life, except it really wasn’t that. It was almost more unbelievable. The two burglars strutted around for a bit, getting comfortable in their new skins and costumes. The night watch was so deeply infatuated, he could only imagine, how they must feel, how he wanted to be them.

“Are you satisfied?” said ‘Batman’ to ‘Robin’. “Very satisfied,” ‘Robin’ replied, whilst tweaking the nipples of his suit, “this feels so good.”

“Couldn’t agree more,” ‘Batman’ responded with a chuckle, running his gloved hand down to his suit’s crotch. ‘Robin’ wrapped his arms around ‘Batman’ and pulled him towards himself and they locked lips once again. The night watch moaned again, as he felt like climaxing any moment, he couldn’t contain himself anymore. The two ‘superheroes’ turned to look at him.

”I think he’s into it!” ’Batman’ laughed to ’Robin’ like they had been completely aware of it from the start. The ‘dark knight’ walked towards the night watch, whose heartbeat began to increase with every step of the approaching ‘hero’.

‘Batman’ placed his hand firmly on the night watch’s erection, giving it a few tugs. “Yeah, you are really into it, aren’t you? We had a feeling…”

The night watch let out another moan, the culmination of a most eventful night.

‘Batman’ walked away and began picking up the clothes of their former identities, the burglars’ balaclavas, onesies and so forth, all the traces of what they had been.

’Robin’ chuckled and walked up to their hostage. He placed his boot firmly on the night watch’s aroused member and smiled the boyish smile of the young Chris O'Donnell. ’Robin’ leaned in on the night watch, their faces so close, that he could smell the silicone and the warmth radiating from it, ’Robin’ placed his mouth inches from the night watch’s ear and whispered sensually: “If you let us get away… We’ll make it worth your while. You can join us if you want. If this turns you on as much as it does us, then I think we’ll get along nicely, and we can even get you a skin like ours.”

’Robin’ stepped back, ’Batman’ was done tidying up after them.

”Give it some thought,” said ’Robin’, “we’ll make sure, you won’t regret it.” The night watch felt the ropes loosen and the gag too. ‘Robin’ then gave him a kiss on the cheek, the night watch felt the warm silicone against his skin, it felt so realistically, he then felt ‘Robin’s’ tongue in his ear, and he almost felt like fainting from the hotness.

The sound of two heavy sets of leather boots walking echoed through the empty halls as the ‘dark knight’ and the ‘boy wonder’ left the crime scene, leaving the night watch behind, pondering what his next move should be.

[msbigredmachine]

New To This - Chapter 2

A/N: Thank you all for the wonderful response to the first chapter, I really appreciate it!

Enjoy Chapter 2!

--------------------

Home for Delilah was a small, aging modular house tucked away in an urban suburb in eastern Pensacola. It previously belonged to Andre’s father, and it served as a fairly decent abode for the young couple ever since they got engaged nearly two years ago. Andre had been living there for a decade, moving in to work at his uncle’s auto shop immediately after graduating from high school. It wasn't the most luxurious of dwellings, but it beat the miniscule space she’d been crammed in with her father, mother and older sister for years, so Delilah really couldn't complain.

Rolling her eyes at her mother’s wedding-laden text message, she pulled her keys from her pocket, guided it into the lock and pushed open the door. Closing it firmly behind her, she leaned back against it, shutting out the rest of the world for the rest of the day. Hanging her hooded jacket on the hook by the door, she kicked off her sneakers and dumped them in the corner along with her gym bag, knowing she put them in their proper place, but was too tired and hungry to worry about that right then.

She wandered into the kitchen, ignoring the small stack of unopened bills on the countertop, and opened the refrigerator. The three pieces of leftover chicken and half-full bottle of red wine wasn’t going to cut it. Sadly, ordering takeout was a bit of a luxury right now, so she had to make do with whatever she could find in the refrigerator and the pantry. Luckily, her mother had ensured that both of her daughters became creative enough cooks to see through any food shortage, which, these days, occurred more often than Delilah liked to admit. So, retrieving as many ingredients as she could find, she set about making dinner for herself and Andre, a peace offering of sorts after their turbulent morning.

It had been a stressful last few months, combining her wrestling classes with numerous double shifts at both her jobs to make ends meet. Adding the equally demanding task of planning her wedding was not helping. More frustrating, at least, according to Andre, was the fact that their nuptial plans were being delayed by her so-called ambitions, chipping away at what little income they both earned. Delilah truly wished he could see the big picture, or at the very least, show a little more support. He, of all people, should have her back. That the rest of the townspeople thought she was out of her mind didn’t mean that he had to agree with them.

Her thoughts were interrupted when she heard the front door open. Knowing who it was, her insides clenched a little with apprehension, wondering, perhaps hopeful even, that her fiancé would be in a reconciliatory mood. The footsteps coming from the living area got louder as they got nearer. Delilah diverted her focus from the saucepan to watch Andre stroll into the kitchen. and despite the tension that had been brewing between them all day, her heart couldn’t help but welcome the affection that rushed over her for him.

Andre Gibson had been every girl’s fantasy once upon a time. Still was, if Delilah was being honest. He was yet to lose any of the physical traits that made him so desirable back in high school. Just hitting six feet, his body was lean and toned from years of doing most of the heavy lifting at his father’s landscaping business. They were inseparable when they were younger; the best thing about school for her was sneaking out to hang out with him, making out with him in the bleachers after basketball games. It was like Heaven for Delilah, elated to be in a spot so many girls were dying to be in. The romance continued after high school, to Delilah’s pleasant surprise, culminating in his proposal two years ago on her twenty-second birthday. And now here they were, living together as soon-to-be man and wife.

“Hey,” he mumbled, rubbing a dirt-streaked hand over his tired face. His worn shirt was unbuttoned with his toned abs on display, and he dumped his backpack on the ground against the wall by the back door.

“Hey,” Delilah returned his greeting. “You’re home early. How did your day go?”

His tired sigh preceded his reply. “Same old, same old. We had one breakthrough though. Pops and I finally completed Mrs. Whelan’s garden.”

“Oh yeah, I remember you talking about that,” she said, stirring the contents in the skillet. “That’s great. I’m glad to know you finally pulled it off.”

“Same here, babe.” He came up behind her, peering over her shoulder. “What’cha got cookin’?”

“Improvising a little with the leftover chicken,” she started, pausing when his hands cupped her hips and his lips met her shoulder. And right away, she knew what this was. This was his way of apologizing about this morning; showing her affection without saying a word. That was the thing about her relationship with Andre. There was something special about the way that they didn't have to speak to know what the other was thinking. They fought, then acted like nothing had ever happened when they got back together. She felt he was in the wrong for this argument, but she wasn’t expecting an apology…no apologies were ever really exchanged afterwards…Everything just went back to normal, seemingly papering over the cracks, in Delilah’s humble opinion. But it kept the peace, so it was better if she kept that little discrepancy to herself.

“Now that we know how your day went, you wanna hear about mine?” she asked.

Chuckling to himself, Andre pushed gently away from her. “Sure, babe,” he said, “How was training today?”

“Tough as fuck,” Delilah grumbled, as Andre grabbed a glass and held it underneath the kitchen faucet. “Tank’s not letting up, even with two days to go till my match. But you’ll never believe who showed up at the warehouse today.”

“You really want me to guess?”

“Maybe not,” she conceded with a giggle, her eyes brightening with excitement as she recalled their brief meeting. “Jey Uso! Jey Uso of all people, Dre!”

Andre raised an eyebrow in confusion. “Am I supposed to know who that is?”

“He’s a big shot in the WWE. One of the top guys in the entire company,” she explained, even though it would most likely fall on deaf ears. “And the coolest part is he’s from right here. Raised in Pensacola just like we were.”

“That’s nice,” Andre responded with a nonchalant, almost bored tone as he settled down at the kitchen table. Delilah was well aware that Andre didn’t watch wrestling. He always called it fake and childish, but that opinion changed slightly when Delilah returned home from her very first class with bruises all over her body. She’d hoped he’d take interest in it, if only for her sake, but that didn’t look like it was happening anytime soon.

She finished making dinner and set a plate in front of him, shredded caramelized chicken with white rice and fresh tomato salad. It wasn’t gourmet, but Delilah had done what she could with what little they had. “Mm, smells good,” Andre complimented, grabbing his cutlery to dig in. Delilah sat beside him, casting pensive glances at him as she ate, pondering the right time to ask him a burning question. It was a few bites into her meal when she decided now was the right time.

“You know, you still ain’t told me if you’re coming to see my match or not,” she spoke up.

Andre’s cutlery ceased their skittering across his plate, and he averted his gaze. Delilah detected his answer right away, and her shoulders dropped. “You’re not,” she sighed, shaking her head.

“I didn’t say that,” he said quickly, “But you do understand why I won’t be able to make it, babe. You know what work is like for me these days.”

“I’ve been talking about this for weeks, Dre! You know how important this is to me! It’s my very first match! It’s in two days. Or did you forget that too?” Angrily, she stabbed her fork into a piece of chicken, trying not to imagine it was her fiancé’s eyeball. “You know what? Forget it. You don’t gotta come if you don’t want to.”

Andre started to counter her, but stopped, thinking twice about it. The last thing he wanted was yet another fight, because this was exactly how it always started. They’d been arguing a lot lately, and honestly? He was already over it. “Look…I’ll do my best to make it to your match,” he said.

“Yeah right,” Delilah rolled her eyes, ignoring the glimmer of hope that bloomed within her. “I ain’t holdin’ my breath, that’s for sure.”

“Come on, babe, I’m for real. I’ll clear out my schedule. I’ll set a reminder on my phone and stuff. I promise. Just gimme the details and I’m on it.” He stared at her with pleading eyes, determined to keep the peace between them. It had been a long, tense day, and in-house tension was the last thing he needed.

Delilah smiled, finally. “Fine. I can work with that,” she agreed. “Now finish up. Your mom sent me a few ideas on places we can have the reception. And after that…If you’re a good boy, maybe later, I’ll show you a new move I learned today.” She leaned closer to him, whispering in his ear, “In bed.”

The hand she’d placed on his thigh suggested volumes, and the tantalizing prospect made Andre smile, “Sounds like a plan, babe.” And with that, things were back to normal.

Or so they both wanted to believe.

-----------------

The next morning…

Good thing she didn’t hold her breath in the end.

As Delilah dumped the heavy weights on the ground, she let out a loud growl, trying to release the tension surging through her body. She paced back and forth frantically as she glanced around the small gym, looking for what else to take out her anger on. Every muscle in her body was begging for mercy, but she couldn't stop. She had to take her frustrations out on something, otherwise she would take it out on someone, preferably Andre. Luckily, the gym was relatively empty, sparing some poor soul from her unwarranted wrath.

Fucking coward. He couldn’t even tell her to her face that he’d changed his mind about coming to her show. If that was even his intention in the first place. He’d scribbled some lame ass excuse on a piece of paper while she slept, and left it on his side of the bed before scurrying off to work. He was long gone by the time she woke up, presenting her with fewer reasons to trust her future husband.

The music blaring in her ears made it impossible for Delilah to hear or see anyone around her. And the anger she was feeling made her essentially ignore her surroundings. So it took her completely aback when she turned towards the direction of the punching bags only to run smack into a brick wall. "What the fuck!"

Josh smirked slightly as he took a step back, watching her yank the buds out of her ears. "Ay, my bad, on me," he apologized, chuckling at the discombobulated look on her face. "Thought you saw me comin’."

"Clearly not. You ain’t that hard to miss," Delilah snapped, tearing the fingerless gloves off her hands. "What are you even doing here?" she shot, noting vaguely that he didn’t look dressed for a workout. The man who had, just the day before, seemed imposing and breath-taking, was now just another testosterone-filled asshole standing in her way, like her fiancé.

Josh crossed his tattooed arms and stared at her. "Relax," he smiled. "Thought I would stop by and see how you were feelin' about tomorrow night, but I guess that's pretty obvious," he said, eyeing her up and down. He’d been on the mark about her body…bangin’ was an understatement. He forced himself to maintain eye contact to avoid staring at her nipples protruding through her sports bra.

Delilah grabbed the bottle of water sat on the nearby bench, unscrewing the cap and taking a few gulps. There was more than one reason she was feeling the way she was, and none of them put the butterflies in her stomach at ease. "I don’t even know why I’m trippin’," she shrugged. "I'm only jobbin' out anyway. Why would I want him to see me lose?"

“Want who to see you lose?” Josh inquired.

Delilah pursed her lips, contemplating whether she should answer or not. “My fiancé.”

He regretted asking. “Oh. Right. Tank said something like that,” he mumbled.

Delilah stared up at the huge man with narrowed eyes. “You and Tank talked about me?”

“Not the way you think,” Josh quickly clarified at her suspicious expression. “He has a lot of faith in you, which is why you ain’t gotta worry so much about tomorrow. You’ll be fine.”

"You make it sound so easy-breezy,” Delilah groaned, shoving her sweaty hair away from her equally sweaty face. “Maybe if one of us got hurt, the fans will have something to remember the match by."

Now it was Josh's turn to roll his eyes. Damn rookies. "Yeah, then you’ll be the fragile weakling nobody wanna work with. I know Tank taught you better than that," he countered. "Look, it ain’t all about winning and losing, not right now anyway. It’s about making an impression on your audience. The fans need a reason to keep watching you, and the suits need a reason they should hire you to wrestle. So everything you do in that ring matters. As long as your match is entertaining as fuck and you don’t kill anyone, that’s all they’ll care about."

Raising an eyebrow, Delilah chuckled. "Right. I’ll keep that in mind for tomorrow," she said. Biting her lip in contemplation, she met his eyes again and fought the urge to swoon.

"Ay, it’s okay to be nervous. You gotta phase that out, though,” he added. “And whatever you got going on at home, put that shit aside until after the match." 

It was a little unnerving how well he’d read her. “Easier said than done,” she scoffed.

For a second, Josh thought about prying, but decided against it. "Wanna know what I was like the morning of my very first match?" He watched her countenance perk up, giving him a curious half-smile that he thought was insanely attractive. "I got so nervous, thinkin’ and worryin’ about the match and shit, that I forgot my bag with my wrestling gear in it. Boots and all. I didn’t realize it until I got to the arena," he explained. “I had to rush back home, and the traffic was so crazy, I didn’t get back to the arena until about ten minutes before my match. That shit sucked ass, man.”

Nibbling on her bottom lip again, Delilah eyed Josh with awe as he spoke, his understanding words and softer eyes putting her more at ease than before. To think that the great Jey Uso had felt this jittery before his first match made her feel like they had a little more in common now.

"I really want this, ya know?" she said, relaxing some more as she confided in him. "I've always wanted this. I had a later start than most, I’ll admit, and I’m playing catch-up. That’s why I'm busting my ass so hard," she admitted. "There’s no room for error, Jey. I gotta be perfect."

Licking his lips subconsciously, Josh watched her take another sip of her water, some of it escaping her lips and trickling down the valley between her breasts, and felt a tightness deep in his gut. "Perfection don’t exist, baby girl, not in pro wrestling," he pointed out, his eyes reactively sweeping down the curves of her body before he spoke again. "Look, if Tank thinks you ready for this, then you ready," he said.

Delilah sighed heavily. She could only hope Tank was right. As she picked up her towel and bag off of the floor, she stopped short, and then turned to face him again. “Wait…Did you just call me baby girl?” she asked him.

A smirk twitched at the corner of his lips. “Sorry. Bad habit. I meant no disrespect. If I offended you, I'm sorry.” He stepped closer to her. “Forgive me?”

Delilah swallowed, taking a few steps of her own backwards. She noticed his lips twitch again in amusement. “Uh…yeah. Sure.” 

Josh smiled. “Preciate that, Delilah.” He backed away. “I’ll see you tomorrow night. Think about what I said, a’ight?”

She watched him walk away from her and out of the gym, so many questions on the tip of her tongue. Her hand tightened over her water bottle, and she suddenly felt the need to take a cold shower, or two.

--------------------

Thoughts?

Banner made by me. Credit to the owners of the pics and gifs.

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[loosingmoreletters]

For the ask game and because I’m soooo curious about what you’ll do with this: best friends sibling au for wangxian

The way I needed a second to parse this prompt. It’s best friend’s sibling, right?

Wei Wuxian is smart, the kind of smart that meant you either went down in the history books for revolutionizing cultivation or died trying. He knows that most people assume he’s going to die trying in the attempt. He’s fairly sure his mother has had his eulogy written since he was ten and his father started picking out coffins when he hit thirteen.

It’s whatever, Wei Wuxian’s got a goal in life, and he won’t stop accelerating until he reaches it.

Everyone knows it, and he supposes that’s the reason he got introduced to Lan Xichen at the itty-bitty age of five. Well, introduced, is a rather generous way to say his mom grabbed Lan Xichen and plopped him in front of Wei Wuxian in a sort of “behold, a fellow child” movement, mortifying everyone else in attendance, particularly Uncle Lan.

Wei Wuxian struggled to get along with his agemates, outpacing them easily, and Lan Xichen apparently needed someone to poke fun at him before he turned into a total rock. They had an odd give and take relationship, and not just because Wei Wuxian’s parents were independent cultivators and homeschooled him all over the world.

At sixteen, Wei Wuxian knew that Lan Xichen latched on to him because of the end result of a messy divorce. Sects, even in this day and age, didn’t particularly condone divorce. Separation tended to be the end all, which was the reason why they never got to see Jiang Cheng and Jiang Yanli on the weekends.

But Lan Xichen’s parents had gone through a divorce and Gusu Lan got to keep their sect heir and Lan Xichen’s mom her youngest. She’d wanted custody of both children, but the sects wouldn’t ever allow that.

And all of this culminated in Wei Wuxian accompanying Lan Xichen to the airport to pick said younger brother up. Well, that and the broken arm. Cultivation didn’t revolutionize itself and Wei Wuxian suspected that if he’d spent another hour in the library, Uncle Lan would’ve thrown him out himself.

Lan Wangji, the brother to be picked up and taken to Gusu for the first time in ten years, was sixteen, like Wei Wuxian himself, but that didn’t mean much given how much better Wei Wuxian did around older peers.

And apparently he looked a lot like Lan Xichen—

Oh.

“Well, that was a fucking lie,” Wei Wuxian told Lan Xichen the moment he spotted what could only be Lan Wangji.

Wei Wuxian supposed that at first glance, Lan Wangji looked a lot like Lan Xichen to someone who’d seen Lan Xichen out of sect robes, but a simple comparison didn’t measure up.

“You never told me your brother was hot,” Wei Wuxian hissed. “How have I known you for two thirds of my life and never known your brother was hot?”

“I’ve shown you photos,” Lan Xichen pointed out.

Well, yeah, but Wei Wuxian hadn’t wanted to see them because he’d been dragged to the Cloud Recesses by his mother only to be told that Lan Xichen would be gone for the summer, visiting his brother and mother. And the Lan Wangji in those pictures had been inherently ugly by virtue of stealing Wei Wuxian’s best friend.

This Lan Wangji was not.

“Does Uncle Lan know your brother has an undercut?”

Holy shit, Wei Wuxian needed to touch Lan Wangji’s head so badly. Squish his face between his hands and bite his lips.

“No,” Lan Xichen said and waved at the Hottest Man Alive, trademark pending. “Would you do me the favor and tell him?”

Wei Wuxian turned to his best friend and snorted. “I love you, but if I piss of Uncle Lan one more time, he’s banning me from the Cloud Reccesses too.”

“Thought so.”

[gabessquishytum]

There have been a lot of asks about sub hob instantly being able to go into sub space for dream and I love and cherish them all.

But maybe it doesn’t come so easy. After a long life hob has had very few doms who are able to get him to submit. It used to be so much easier. But at this point he’s been immortal so long and so used to losing people that it’s harder to access that space. Plus in the 1990s he didn’t exactly take good care of himself. In the flood of drugs and heartbreak he got into some less than good situations with less than good doms. And he naturally has some trust issues with dream. and it’s all culminated in him basically being on high alert all the time.

When dream comes back in 2022, they enter a relationship pretty quick. Hob is genuinely so happy to be with dream and he is so excited to submit. Dream is the perfect dom, and in hob’s head it is going to be perfect—in his fantasies Dream sends hob right into sub space and it’s like they were made for each other.

hob is so excited to finally get dommed the way he needs. He’s wearing some gifts from dream, like a special ruby plug that fills him up just right and he wants so badly to kneel.

But the first time they do a scene, no matter what, hob can’t let go. He can’t enter subspace.

Hob is so upset because he feels like he failed dream.

But Dream just takes him in his arms, holds him and reassures him that he is there for the long haul. He tells hob he is perfect, exactly what Dream wants. Dream says he’s honored to be hob’s dom and he can wait and work with hob until hob is ready.

I actually really love this concept. I can totally see that this would be hard for Hob! He's dealing with a lot of feelings, anxieties and a lot of past experiences that haunt him. As much as he wants submission, he can't necessarily just do it - that's not how it works.

But Dream is so good to him. He takes a moment to remind Hob that dominance and submission isn't all about sex and power. It's also about love and developing trust. So that means little things, as well as big ones. Talking about feelings (Dream’s least favourite thing, but he'll do it. For Hob.), creating an environment which is going to help Hob go into subspace, doing very thorough aftercare, journally stuff that comes up outside of a "session". Somewhere along the line, Hob is going to realise that he doesn't need to be the best sub in the entire world. He just needs to be embody what he really feels when he's with Dream.

Despite all of the stuff he's got going on inside, Dream is basically just a very good dom, and that's very helpful to Hob (who's probably never had a real dom who understood the dynamic beyond wanting to make another person hurt). And really, Dream doesn't mind if Hob never reaches subspace. He's happy to dominate him lovingly and coax him into kneeling and submitting without entering the headspace.

But Hob is going to do it. One day, he'll slip so easily under Dream’s hands and voice, and it will be everything he's wanted and imagined. It's going to take work, but in a way Hob is grateful. He's never felt closer to Dream than when they're working on this together. And above all else, he finally feels safe.

[notjustjavierpena]

Three Times You Didn’t Kiss Joel - And One Time You Did (Part IV)

A/N: A cute summer romance culminates! Enjoy chapter four — the last one! See my masterpost for all chapters.

Summary: Sarah invites you over for a family barbecue.

Pairing: Joel Miller x Reader/You (No y/n)

Tags: +18 no smut but mature thoughts (minors DNI), fluff, pining, summer romance, DILF Joel, sexual tension, idiots in love, mentions of death, loss of family members, cancer, mentions of pregnancy, kisses, making out!!! Domesticity!!!

Word count: 3.3k

Link to this work on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/47914783/chapters/121073659

Chapter Four: Kiss

The house comes along nicely during the next few weeks, but after the night at the bar, Joel has been too busy with his job to help you, so Sarah has hung out with you after school for most of the week. There’s a nagging feeling in the back of your head, telling you that he is voluntarily staying away from you, but you don’t let it fester into obsession about whether he likes you back or not. You’re not a kid. 

It is Saturday now. A radio plays music quietly from a garden table. The sun hangs low on the sky as it is late in the afternoon, illuminating your white house in orange and pink colors. There are no clouds in sight, and you can smell people barbecuing in the air, making your stomach growl with hunger.

Sarah and you have just finished making the garden look presentable with repotted flowers and herbs. She had picked out sunflowers at the garden center and paired them with a pink blanket of primroses, which you had enthusiastically praised on and on as you had planted them in the backyard. It looks even more beautiful with the sun shining down on them.

“Did you know sunflowers follow the sun?” You ask as you dust dirt off your knees. 

“What do you mean?” She asks, walking to get the garden hose and turn on the tap. She works efficiently, interested and determined like her father.

“That they face east in the morning, then turn as the sun crosses the sky,” you explain and manage to turn on the water before she does.

Sarah goes to water the plants, “I knew I liked them so much for a reason.”

“You can like something for just being pretty,” you note, scratching through your scalp. You feel sweaty and tired, desperate for a shower to rinse off dust and dirt but for now, you’ll manage by putting your hair up. 

“Is that why you like dad?”

Sarah’s nonchalant comment makes you choke on your own spit. You look at her with horror, eyes nearly bulging out of your skull at being called out so mercilessly by a 14-year-old, who just starts giggling in a way that puts you instantly at ease.

“Not just ‘cause he’s pretty,” you reply with a blush, feeling a giggle bubbling up in your chest too. It may have something to do with relief as well. 

“Mhm,” she hums, finishes what she’s doing and then goes to turn off the water again, “You should come over for dinner in half an hour. Uncle Tommy’s coming over for a barbecue, and I want to bring someone too. Be on time though, Tommy always is. Somewhat.”

“Are you sure Joel will be okay with that?” Your concern is genuine. 

“Dad woulda invited you himself but he isn’t here,” she reassures and you nod, “Besides, I can hear your stomach growling… I promise, it’s fine. It’s just an extra plate.”

“Can I shower first?” You turn off the radio.

“Don’t overdo it,” she mirrors you, and fixes her own hair by ruffling it slightly and putting it into a bun on top of her head. You only now notice her butterfly earrings. 

“Better hurry then,” you start to head inside, and Sarah waves at you before leaving. 

*

You arrive at the Millers’ doorstep about half an hour later, the smell of the barbecue having gotten more intense the closer you got. You should have been here ten minutes ago, but you wanted to wear the perfect dress for the occasion, and it took you a few more moments than planned to choose a light blue one that stops mid-thigh.

You knock carefully and hear Sarah come running up to the door on the other side. She opens the door and throws her arms around you in a tight hug, says your name so sweetly and loudly enough for her father and her uncle to hear. 

Joel and Tommy’s heads pop out from the doorway to the kitchen. Joel’s eyes briefly go to his daughter, making him look like he is about to protest (like always), but Tommy pushes through the door to greet you. He is nursing a beer.

“So, this is the mystery woman that Joel won’t shut up about,” he says with a boyish grin, stretches out a hand, which you take, “Have you learnt how to use a paintbrush now or?”

He is the little brother without a doubt. You laugh, but mostly at the idea of Joel having come home to complain about you. 

Joel visibly cringes, earning a giggle from Sarah, then mumbles a shut up with pink cheeks and says hello as well. He pulls at the dish towel, which has been resting on his shoulder and heads back into the kitchen. 

“Come on!” Sarah drags you by the hand, through the house and out the back door to a little covered terrace with several plants hanging from the wooden posts. There’s a table in the middle, but there’s only three plates; Sarah really hasn’t told her father. You feel blood drain from your face.

“Sarah,” you say, but she’s already gone inside again. When she returns, she is carrying an extra set of cutleries and an extra plate. Neatly, she sets the table for an extra person.

“Don’t worry about it,” she tells you and heads to the corner of the small terrace, pulling the lid off to check the ribs, “He does want you here.”

*

It goes a lot better than you expect. You find that Tommy is very much Joel’s little brother, and you enjoy the intimacy of witnessing how he and Sarah team up against her poor father, who looks to you every time he cracks a joke back at their faces. You notice how Joel’s eyes change every time that you laugh, going softer as he hears you giggle at his demise. 

On your plate are spareribs, coleslaw, mashed potatoes and corn. The only thing made by Joel are the ribs, whilst everything else is cooked by Sarah and, to some extent, Tommy. Joel doesn’t cook much, you note, because he seems to enjoy the homemade food more than anyone else. 

“Did you know that Joel plays guitar? Wanted to be a singer when he was a kid,” Tommy says with a mouthful of mashed potatoes. 

“Watch it,” Joel tells him, embarrassment visible on his face. He takes a large gulp of his wine, looking down at his plate to avoid your gaze. Though when you start laughing, his eyes immediately shoot up again, “Why is that so funny?” 

“Joel Miller, country superstar. Hits like just a contractor or in the arms of a construction worker,” you say with the most affectionate smile. Sarah starts laughing, Tommy follows.

“You’re not any better than them, are ya?” Joel rolls his eyes but chuckles too. Tommy and Sarah share a look. 

“Oh, but you’d be a sensation,” you take a sip of your red wine, looking at him over the glass and smiling so hard that it becomes difficult to concentrate on swallowing down your drink, “Just need a hat.”

Joel gets up from the table without a word. He wipes his fingers on his napkin before going inside of the house, leaving you a little speechless, but Tommy runs a hand over his face to soothe the laughter that’s bubbling up in his chest. 

“He must really like you,” he says with a smile, pinching the bridge of his nose.

Joel Miller, country superstar, returns a moment later with a Stetson Western style hat on his head. He has angled it to look more ridiculous, and Sarah is almost on the floor with secondhand embarrassment but simultaneously, she’s absolutely howling with laughter. 

“No!” She yells.

“Just let him have this,” Tommy says to Sarah, but you don’t notice him nodding towards you. 

“Alright alright alright,” Joel says with an exaggerated Texan accent. You don’t think you have ever felt like this before, but your cheeks are red as evidence of a crush turning into being head over heels in love. 

“Very stylish,” you praise sarcastically, “I admire your commitment to the character. Why haven’t you pursued that life already?”

“Why would I give all of this up?” Joel takes off the hat. He places it on top of your head before he moves to sit down again. 

*

When Tommy has bid farewell, Sarah has gone to bed and the house has gone quiet, Joel starts clearing the table without saying much. He moves around you with a gentle giant nature, reassuring you that you don’t have to help him when you get up from your seat. Though he stops insisting when you start stacking glasses to take them into the kitchen sink, letting you sip your wine and scrub the cutlery. 

“More wine?” Joel asks as he finishes clearing the table by getting the empty and the half-empty bottle of red wine that Tommy, him and you had shared during dinner. 

“Sure, I’ll take some if you do,” you stop doing the dishes and reach for your own glass and the glass that belongs to him, holding them out for him to pour into. Joel follows through, takes his own glass after putting down the bottle. 

You clink your glass against his and talk as he sips, “Thanks for having me over and saving me from cooking dinner. Despite Sarah being the real schemer here.”

“Yeah, no problem,” he replies and stares into his wine. You can see the cogs turning inside his brain as he pieces together a sentence, causing you to step closer in a way of telling him that it’s okay, that you’re listening, “She likes you, you know, thinks you’re cool or whatever. It’s been real nice that you’ve wanted to spend some time with her the past few weeks.”

“It’s no problem, Joel,” you give him a tiny smile that he doesn’t see from the way that he avoids your gaze. You have a feeling that this is special; that he doesn’t usually have conversations like these. 

“I just mean… There’s only so much I can offer being her old man,” he continues, finally looking up at you with eyes that make you feel like all wind has been knocked out of you, “The flowers and dresses and—“

“Boy trouble,” you tease, taking a sip of your wine. 

Joel furrows his brow but then smirks, nudges you with his foot, “Hey. Watch it.”

There is a bit of quiet laughter from the both of you but when it dies down, you brace yourself for what’ll come after you ask a question that’s been playing on your mind since you found out that he was single: “Where is she, if I may ask? Sarah’s mom?” 

You watch how his Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows. 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to pry,” you start to reel in the words, but Joel holds up a hand to stop you. He puts his now-empty wine glass into the sink and holds out his hand to take your empty glass too. 

“There’s no story, if that’s what you think,” he tells you with his back towards you as he opens the tap to soak the glasses, “Sarah’s mom died when Sarah was barely a year old. She was sick, didn’t want to get chemotherapy during pregnancy and then after… you know the rest.”

“Jesus, I’m so sorry, Joel.”

It is all you can say, because you’re suddenly busy with calculating their ages in your head. If you’re correct, they would have been around twenty-three years old, which most likely means that they were high school sweethearts. This is not what you expected, but it is enough to make your stomach drop as you keep wondering about it. You don’t know if you regret asking. 

“S’alright,” he reassures you. He shakes his hands and dries them in his jeans, then turns towards you again. He leans back into the kitchen counter and crosses his arms over his chest to protect himself, “It’s been almost fifteen years but now that she’s a teenager, I’m a little nervous that I won’t be able to act as a double parent. I’m just an old man who doesn’t know shit about NSYNC. Jesus, it’s the wine talking.”

You watch as his arms tighten around his chest a little more, guard even further up. You want to tear it down, open his arms and squeeze between them to make sure that he knows that he doesn’t have to apologize. 

“Are you kidding me though?” You look at him with disbelief at the way that he is tearing himself down. You take a step closer to him, “Sarah talks about you like you’re the freaking sun or something.”

Joel’s eyes change when you say that. They go softer in a way that you cannot describe other than relief, telling you ‘thank you’ or ‘I needed that’ without words. 

“Do you need more help around here?” You ask when he doesn’t say anything in return. He still looks a little stunned by your words but eventually snaps out of his trance.

“I can handle the rest, if you promise to help me and Sarah out with leftovers tomorrow.”

“I promise… Well then. Think I’ll head back home, let Sarah sleep undisturbed and you relax,” you give him the softest smile, hoping to let him know that you’re here if he ever needs you. 

“Lemme walk you home, repeat the success,” he insists.

*

“Here we are, ma’am,” he jokes as the two of you reach your front door. You can feel him stopping right behind you just like last time, sending a tingle down your spine.

“Nice of you to follow me home,” you say sweetly. You turn on your heel and he nearly bumps into you with how close he is. This time around, neither of you step away from each other’s personal space. It raises the question if he is craving to be in yours as much as you crave to be in his?

You stare up at him, mouth falling slightly open because he stares down at you so intensely that you can’t even think before you reach out to touch. Carefully, you place your hand on his cheek where he had a nasty bruise some weeks ago. It’s completely healed despite its severity, “And no cuts or bruises this time.”

Joel exhales through his nose in a laugh, and his eyes flutter closed for the briefest moment as you touch him. The next exhale becomes a sigh of relief. You blame his confidence on the several glasses of wine as he reaches up to brush a strand of stray hair behind your ear. Then, he dares to rest his forearm above your head against your front door. 

You swallow thickly, but cannot stop yourself from making yourself taller by getting up on your toes. Joel is looking down at you still, but he isn’t intimidating at all as he dips down, something in his eyes telling you to take the hint. You try to signal back that he needs to do something about the weeks of frustration that has had your head spinning to the point of nauseating butterflies. If the idiot doesn’t do something tonight then you might as well give u—

And then he kisses you. All soft and sweet, closed eyes, quiet sighing and intoxicating summer air. 

Your hand on his cheek drops down to grip at the front of his t-shirt, clutching a little to hold yourself steady as you are still on your tippy toes. You lean into his mouth and feel your bodies press against each other, your stomach doing somersaults whilst you feel his mouth on yours and the slight scratching of his beard. You cannot believe this is happening.

Joel keeps his arm above your head but only for a moment. He reaches to cup your face, calloused palm the size of your whole cheek, and gently guides you to tilting your head, so he can deepen the kiss just a bit. His other hand moves from his own hip to slide around your waist, hand sprawling across the small of your back and pulling you closer into him. 

He takes half a step closer too, planting one foot between yours. You feel yourself bump into the front door, accidentally whimpering at the thought that flashes through your mind of him having his way with you right here. You don't think that you could have imagined him being a better kisser in your head.

But he is still human, and humans need to breathe. Reluctantly, he pulls away to suck in a breath. He is panting like you, lips swollen from meeting yours and his expression is mixed; something between shock and desire. You are not going to let him speak yet, scared that he will accidentally ruin this by overthinking it. There’s a lot at stake for him, you figure, amongst others is a kid who he needs to protect and love. 

You rest your head against the door and pull him in by yanking at his shirt, brushing your lips against his in what is close to another kiss, keeping it slow and sensual. It is in no way innocent though; it screams for him to make another move, demanding passion and softness at the same time. 

When you feel him give in, he makes it safe to let go of his t-shirt as he holds you with his body. You link your arms around his neck and shoulders, clinging to him as if you are afraid that he’ll disappear and never talk to you again if you let go. You’ll take the consequences of kissing the gorgeous neighbor later — not now.

It is Joel’s turn to make a noise now. Your legs nearly give out underneath you as you hear him growl slightly, a dull aching sensation starting between your legs. Your instincts tell you to invite him inside, but you can’t have everything all at once.

“Joel,” you say softly into his mouth as you give him a string of kisses. He responds without a word by the hand on your cheek going down to rest on the side of your thigh and daringly sliding up underneath your dress’ skirt. 

“Joel,” you shake your head no, pulling back until your head rests against the door again. He removes his hand again, lets it hang along his side, and steps back so your hands fall to your sides too.

“You don’t want—?” He trails off.

“I don’t think you know just how much I do want it,” you tell him with a still ragged breath, “But not on my front porch with wine in my system. I like you.”

“I like you too,” it sounds like the confession of a teenager. You cannot help but let out a little giggle that makes Joel frown, “What?”

“Nothing. I just haven’t been in love with someone like this since high school,” you confess shyly, looking up at him innocently. The butterflies in your stomach are having a field day, causing almost motion sickness. 

Joel says nothing but just makes a noise of approval and agreement. If the sun had been out, you would have been able to see the redness on his face. 

“I’m going to go inside,” you inform him but debate whether to kiss him again or not, “And we’ll talk tomorrow. Is that okay?”

“Sure,” he says quickly, suddenly crossing his arms over his chest again like he had in the kitchen, “Yeah. Of course, yeah. Sure.”

“No, no. Look at me. I mean what I said; talk tomorrow. It’s healthy to miss each other, you know,” you add as you unlock your front door. 

“Shut up,” he says with a hint of a smile, “Do you have plans for Sunday?”

“No, why?”

“Sarah isn’t home. Do you want to come over and do nothing?” Joel looks at you shyly.

“Sure. Then talk Sunday.”

You step inside, close the door and wait. You let out a breath that you’ve been holding when you hear him step off your porch. Then, you do a victory dance and go to bed. 

.

.

.

Taglist: @casa-boiardi

[e-102]

SORRY LONG POST, scroll for atsv spoilers

thinkin about spiderverse movie and it’s soooo smart the way hobie acts and talks. when he realizes who miles is he’s already formulating how to work the entire situation out in miles favor. it’s not just the palms trick, hobie tries to get miles out of spider society IMMEDIATELY.

when jess drew says they’re all coming with her hobie says “i don’t follow orders, neither does he” which is funny! and you don’t initially understand why he would say that other than the fact that hobie has demonstrated he’s a non conformist for even the silliest things, so of course he would say that right? but after miles goes along anyways hobie puts his head in his hands because he was giving miles AN OUT.

hobie knows who miles IS he knows why miles is being called in and he’s already planning to get miles out.

he then subtly hints that things are a little less cool under the surface. hobie warns miles when no one else does, when he’s stealing parts for gwen’s watch (because once again, he already knows what’s about to go down) “bet you’ve got a nice set up, nice parents” Hobie KNOWS what canon events are and knows miles is before the big ones. miles says he’s in a fight with his parents and hobie says “that’s a bloody shame, cus you’re not ready for everybody else”

all of this while he knicks tech out of the wall and flaunts it to miles. once again it’s funny, an audiences first reaction is most likely to pick up that hobie is alluding to something, but be distracted by the comedy of his charismatic personality. it’s so smart, because even while he’s taking things he says “bet this doesn’t even do anything” (HES TALKING ABOUT DISRUPTING CANON EVENTS) miles replies talking about the tech “maybe it did before you ripped it out of the wall” to which hobie says “it’s propaganda bro”

and it IS. spider society as a whole is propagandized as a necessity to the stability of the multi-verse. they push that canon events MUST HAPPEN, but hobie doesn’t believe it or care. he’s purely looking out for miles, who is the little guy in this situation and an ‘anomaly’ from the moment they met hobie was looking out for him.

all of this culminates before the chase where hobie gives him the means to escape, visibly calms miles down and holds up his palms to remind him how to break out. then quits and disappears to wait for gwen so they can group back up. so good.

and anyways i have more misc thoughts about why hobie is in spider society anyways but that’s based on speculation so it’s going under the cut

okay the more you see that hobie is truly an anarchist punk who opposes authority and authority structures you have to think, why the hell would he join up with a spider society????

i think that’s it’s probably because of gwen. in the same way that hobie recognizes miles is at a disadvantage, he would definitely recognize that gwen is in a bind.

gwen has a trans narrative in this movie, she’s essentially been kicked out even if it wasn’t explicit, because she’s spiderwoman. she was taken in by jess drew and miguel and i assume she mostly stays on earth 928 with them or with hobie on his earth. that’s why her toothbrush and her sweater are at his place, because he lets her crash there since she’s essentially homeless.

i have to add that gwen’s position in spider societal is shaky. jess drew may have let her join up, but it’s shown many times that jess is unwilling to defend gwen to miguel. gwen KNOWS this, when she answers to jess drew she begs her not to tell miguel when she’s messing up and jess is largely unsympathetic.

gwen’s last interaction with her father ended with him pointing a gun at her. it’s not a stretch to say that gwen is really unsure of whether or not her father would’ve hurt her. she desperately does not want to go home because of that, and also because she doesn’t want to trigger the canon event that she KNOWS will end in his death.

gwen desperately, desperately, does not want to go home.

as for hobie, hes clearly shown to be someone gwen likes a lot, her inflection when she talks about him and the fact that she stays so often makes me believe that hobie has clearly taken gwen under his wing. i think he’s done the same for pavitr as well!

pavitr opens up his intro by saying being spider man is easy. once again the truth of the statement and it’s meaning is somewhat obscured by comedy, considering being spider-man is really difficult for the protagonist, miles, who we’ve seen struggle with his parents for most of the movie until then.

but pavitr says this because it IS easy for him, he hasn’t gone through any canon events. he’s been spider man FOR 6 MONTHS ONLY!

hobie is shown to really love pavitr, they have a brotherly and playful friendship and play fight excitedly when they see each other. i don’t think it’s a stretch to say that hobie has taken both gwen who is balancing on a tight rope, and pavitr who is ignorant to the larger system that will soon press him down, under his wings.

so why would hobie join spider society? probably to look after kids like gwen and pavitr!

and this is also more speculation that gets looser as i go on, but i wouldn’t be surprised if hobie was waiting for miles specifically to cause some chaos in spider society.

i don’t have the exact line but when he realizes which spider-man miles is, he refers to him by his dimension number of 1610. (this line is the basis of my belief that hobie planned to help miles out from before the beginning) but anyways, doesn’t it follow that if hobie doesn’t believe in spider society, doesn’t believe in canon events, and is allied with them anyways that he is looking for the opportunity to oppose them?

it’s his ideological code to oppose oppressive power structures, and he clearly likes miles as a person and what miles represents.

[mdhwrites]

Just putting forth this ask: why is it that compared with Amphibia's All In and The Hardest Thing, that TOH's finale and "final fight" (if we can even call it out that) just felt so underwhelming? Even especially Luz's "death" which felt so much of a fakeout and copying from Amphibia's. Granted, I wonder if a part of that is some of us already watching Amphibia at that point tho.

The fight feeling more underwhelming is easy actually. See, 90% of what people remember of Luz fighting Belos isn't her fighting Belos. It's just dancing around fighting moss. That is... Lame. To put it mildly. Meanwhile, you have three magical girls flying into space to fight the moon and his army of robots. That is awesome.

However.

What I really want to talk about is why their deaths actually play into the feeling of these two fights and the finales as a whole. It lets me talk about shock deaths versus heroic sacrificed because TL:DR: Anne heroically sacrifices herself for Amphibia as a final culmination of the growth she has had as a character. Meanwhile, Luz is given a shock death to sell how dangerous Belos is (which I will get into a bit) while also essentially being fridged for the sake of the Collector's arc. One of those is hype as hell and satisfying. The other is a complete stumble before we finally get the actual confrontation.

However, I'm going to go away from The Owl House and Amphibia first to talk about the tropes of Heroic Sacrifices and Shock Deaths with one of the easiest franchises to do it with: Dragonball Z.

Let's start with Heroic Sacrifice. A heroic sacrifice is when a character CHOOSES to give up their life so as to attempt to put things right, save lives, etc. like that. This choice element is actually really important. Without it, it's just a tragic death. The villain got the upper hand at a bad moment and killed them. That rarely actually happens in media but it is an option. A heroic sacrifice is just that: A sacrifice.

This is your classic moments of Piccolo sacrificing himself for Gohan against Nappa or Vegeta using all the energy he has in an attempt to defeat Buu. In both cases, these are major defining moments in their arcs. Arguably, the climaxes of them. The pinnacle of them changing to be a good person. We also see two classic examples here, one of which I think is commonly much stronger.

Piccolo's death is a split second decision where he decides to take the hit instead of allowing it to reach Gohan. This has a lot of good points for a character, such as showing their inherently good nature, but it does lack one key component: It doesn't feel like the choice weighs as much. Not wanting to see someone else get hurt is pretty basic and can be warped just as much by the bad guys so as to make it a weakness. It says a lot about Zuko when he takes a lightning bolt for Katara... But I wouldn't call it a sacrifice. It's a split second choice to make sure one person stays alive over themselves. This makes the impact revolve a LOT more around thematics over just the weight of the moment. As an example: If Superman dives in front of someone to take a Kryptonite blast, that's an "Oh shit," moment as the fight suddenly takes a turn for the worst. However, it is so ingrained in his nature that it hardly means anything for him to put himself in danger like this. It only hits hard for characters like Piccolo because of the journey they've been on.

Vegeta's hits harder for that reason because it still carries all the same advantages of the split second choice with one MAJOR boon: It's optional. Yes, technically these others are too but protecting an ally is just a part of being on a team. Being in combat. We don't blink at it most of the time unless it leads to a death, in which case it is a tragedy. Vegeta had a different option though. Just... Play along. Or leave. Or do ANYTHING else.

Instead, from his lowest point, he finally sees what he's going to lose from all of this, what he has done, and makes the choice to try and make up for it. Not even to seek forgiveness but just to have a single moment of redemption in his whole life in an attempt to save his family and those he cares about.

This also brings up another point about Heroic sacrifices: They don't need to be successful or permanent. The point is about what it says about the character. Vegeta doesn't manage jack shit in his last moments from an entirely practical purpose. From a character perspective though, this choice will last eternally. It will always be a part of him and his growth. That is powerful, even if it fails.

But what happens when there is no choice and it says nothing about the character? Well, that's when we get into the realm of a shock death, like Yamcha's legendary failure. A shock death is mostly meant to just raise the stakes. To make the audience know that 'shit just got real'. It always happens as a character getting instantly KO'd so as to really sell the "OH SHIT" factor of the moment.

Which is also why everyone always laughs at Yamcha. His death means nothing and as far as trying to up the ante? Good job, you killed the weakest of us in a show of strength. Good job. It is a HARD sell to a lot of audience members at this point because the character is just there to die. Their death doesn't say anything or mean anything for them so why as an audience should we care? It was just a cheap death that accomplished nothing and everyone moves on from.

So am I fair to call Luz's death this? After all, Camila cries over it. Eda goes into a more feral version of her Owl Beast form than she ever has before because of it. The Collector learns what death is due to it!

And in like three minutes, none of that will matter besides the Collector thing. No Eda having to try and bring herself back from the curse, despite claiming it can still eternally take her, a plot point never resolved. Camila has no reason to actually know. Her crying is just to add another octave to the overture "BE SAD NOW!" And the Collector?

He only was in danger because the writers said he was. Even if you believe Belos is immune to his magic (which was shown to be untrue as he flew up to Belos' face), he is still an incredible being of unrivaled power. He can move celestial bodies with a whim for god's sake. Why should he EVER be in danger? Shouldn't he be able to teleport or just shift out of the way faster than Luz can fly up to him?

And what does it say about Luz? You know, the girl who has been trying to abandon the Isles for TWO WHOLE SPECIALS before this and who has no connection with the Collector? They want this to be a heroic sacrifice in the way of Piccolo but it doesn't have the weight. It has no build up and Luz was NEVER going to have a real connection to the Collector. It's even explicitly used as a teaching moment for the Collector. To give him extra motivation to become a good guy... Like you do when you fridge a character. It's also something Luz would have explicitly done from episode 1 so it also has the Superman problem of saying nothing.

And the WORST part for Luz is... It wasn't something she thought was going to kill her. She thought the two would get out of the way. Maybe that was just a line in relief but a heroic sacrifice is an all in play. You don't expect to come back from a SACRIFICE. But Luz appears to have.

As such, it just feels like a way to up the stakes, especially when all it leads to is a power up for Luz. A cheap bit of escalation before the victory lap that is Titan Luz. That's just not that compelling and it feels manipulative, like a lot of shock deaths are.

And how does Amphibia get out of all of this? With one line:

"These stones aren't Amphibia's greatest treasure."

In that moment, we are reminded not only of all that Anne is fighting for but all of the growth she has had in order to lead to this moment. To go from the selfish girl she once was to the unifier of the stones. To someone who can actually care about an entire planet. How in episode 1, she wouldn't have done this but now? Now it's not even a moment of hesitation for her.

And it does have the Vegeta element of being optional. She could have gone home. She could have had Marcy or Sasha make the sacrifice instead. She doesn't though because she will not shrug off the responsibility of all this. This isn't even to do with the prophecy. She was the one to steal the music box. She was complicit, even if more fault lies with Marcy, in leading to the Core being potentially able to ravage worlds again. And then she is told that the prophecy is a plea for help. You don't have to yes to a plea like you do destiny. If not for Anne's experiences, she would have said no.

Instead, she says yes and she wins for it. Her resurrection is even based in this. She expects no resurrection and was ENTIRELY ready to bear the weight of her choice. She won't even accept the Guardian's offer of power because that's not why she did this. It's not what her arc is about. Instead, she gets her resurrection for the same reason she died: Because she has grown and in that growth, become so much more than she ever could have even imagined, so what would happen if given more time to grow? Would she surpass all of ours expectations? Even a god's?

ALL of that helps an audience care. Helps give a true climax to everything. Brings it all together. Even if you want to argue, and I actually probably would, that the Calamity trio fighting is technically worse from an animation standpoint than even Eda, King and Luz against the moss, narrative weight matters more. That sense of climax matters more. It is going to elevate the rest of the fight, and the episode, simply by making sure that ANY audience member is going to have a greater amount of investment in it.

And a heroic sacrifice is a great way to add to that. A shock death is not.

======+++++======

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

[wxnheart]

𝐒𝐡𝐲 𝐒/𝐎, 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐈𝐈 - 𝐏𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐞, 𝐀𝐥𝐞𝐣𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐫𝐨, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐑𝐮𝐝𝐲

part one

𝐏𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐞

You were a soldier through and through, had nerves of steel, and saved his ass more times than he can count.

But Price could and would not get over how bashful you got when you received commendations. Made an old, battle-hardened heart such as his soar. It was adorable, really.

It endeared him to you more than ever. It was the way you'd look down and shift your stance slightly. It was the way Price could always see the small smile grace your lips. It was the manner in which you cleared your throat in the midst of it all and afterward, still buzzing from the praise, it was back to business.

But oh, he realized you didn't let it get to your head. No, not really. You just saw it as you doing your job. Still didn't mean you weren't deserving of it.

What with everything you two had been through together, first as a team and then as a couple, Price believed you deserved all the praise in the world.

Around the others, a pat on the back, a clasp of the shoulder, and a concise compliment sufficed.

But when it was just you two, alone and comfortable, he showered you in praises galore. Unabashedly so.

And that smile, the one you kept hidden from the others, was for his eyes. And his eyes only.

𝐀𝐥𝐞𝐣𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐫𝐨

You're quiet. Not like Ghost but... like him, too.

Nothing got past you. You observed and soaked up everything around you. Alejandro could say it was a learned trait but the more you two had gotten to know each other and it eventually culminated in a relationship, he realized that this was innately you.

You're quiet thunder. You're soothing rain. You make him wax lyrical and Alejandro is one thousand percent convinced that his men would call bullshit that he's capable of being poetic.

He isn't capable of it. Not really. Not before he met you. He's a man of action and intent, but he can't help but contemplate your presence in his life. He can't help but to sit and think about how much you mean to him.

You were a force to be reckoned with, even if you didn't think so. You were a godsend to Alejandro, actually. You picked up on things he didn't. You made him realize things about himself (who knew he liked his towels warm?) and you were a pillar of strength when he dared to be vulnerable.

You allowed him to be Alejandro the lover, the man, and he was forever grateful.

And hey, at least he knows you'd love his poetry, too.

𝐑𝐮𝐝𝐲

You'd never let Rudy live it down.

He silently hoped you didn't notice it but you did. How couldn't you?

In all his years there weren't many people who made him do a double-take but you...? Whew. And oh yeah, he liked what he saw.

One look at you and he was smitten. Yep, that's the official story.

Why you may ask? Because the man stared at you until Alejandro called his name to get Rudy's attention. And that's when he realized that everyone was looking at him. Except for you. Well, sometimes. It was the smile. There was something playful there. Yeah...

You got your bearings, cleared your throat, and introduced yourself accordingly. Your voice was softer when you talked to him. Oh...

And Rudy, well, he'd have been a fool not to return the gesture.

Too bad he fucked it up royally.

"Rodolfo. You can call me Rub—Rudy! You can call me Rudy." Aw, fuck. He'll just ignore the look Alejandro's giving him. Hell, he'll ignore the look everybody is giving him. And the awkward silence, too.

And then you came along with that smile again: "Looking forward to working with you... Ruby." Oh, shit.

Goddamn it, he'll definitely never live this down.

But at least he was right. There was something playful behind that smile.

[lurksunderthebed]

Major Spoilers MWIII (1/5)

Thoughts on Ghostsoap interactions in mwiii. With pictures for extra spice. BEWARE SPOILERS ⚠️⚠️⚠️ PART 1

ON THE IMPORTANCE OF NAMES

So apparently, the Kill or Capture mission wasn't the first time Soap or Ghost have met before.

There's a flashback mission in mwiii set 4 years prior to mwiii. In it, they go through makarov's previous capture in verdansk.

This is set before the events of mwii 22 but most likely after the events of mw 19. If I remember correctly, the verdansk missions were set after mw19 and had the first references to modern soap and ghost.

Shepherd was still considered a good guy in this and he's working with Ghost on overwatch. Soap and Price rush to stop Makarov's terrorist plot and capture him alive. It culminates in Soap and Ghost interacting on coms and in the helicopter with makarov.

I find this all very interesting, cause that must mean they worked together at least 4 years prior to 2022 mwii events. (Though prob even earlier considering that there was no introduction, by shepherd or Price. Just a simple "Ghost will cover you on heli".)

Alt text for all pics for more clarity/dialogue.

And Ghost's interactions with Soap with comparisons across 4 years ago, mwii and mwiii is so telling in how impactful the Alone mission was for their relationship.

The makarov mission flashback showed how cold Ghost was to Soap. Along with the classic 09 mask, he didn't even register Soap at all aside from calling out kill shots and bluntly informing Soap of enemies. Didn't mention his name, his rank, anything at all. Soap is just another faceless soldier to him for all he cares.

Which makes mwiii more juicy cause Ghost in mwiii pretty much only uses Johnny when referring to Soap. It's a total tonal shift. In mwii he used it sparingly and then in mwiii, it's Johnny this, or Johnny that. Been a long watch of the current playthrough but I could only remember him saying Soap and sergeant very sparingly in comparison.

It also speaks of how much the writers wanted it contrasted when the flashback verdansk mission is set right before the first SoapAndGhost mission. You get to compare and contrast Ghost's warmth from his coldness. Ghost cares. It's obvious in how his jokes ring, his snark and the nickname for Soap. It's so different from old ghost with the 09 get up.

↓↓↓

All three of these moments is Ghost and Soap communicating and checking on each other. The game writers knew what they were doing here damn it.

And after the flashback mission where Ghost and Soap are riled (heh) up over the makarov mission 4 years ago, GHOST ASKS SOAP IF HES WITH HIM (to go on a risky mission with no backup) AND SOAPS JUST LIKE YOU DONT EVEN NEED TO ASK.

Lit don't forget that no one outside of Ghost ever refers to Soap as Johnny. Even Price, whose name is John also (and is referred to it by Laswell) uses John when he's speaking to Soap personally.↓

The only one to use Johnny and is allowed to use it is Ghost. 🥹😭😭😭

onto part 2 - staring and jokes

[hunieday]

Re:vale - B’s-LOG October 2018 interview

Please note that I am not a professional translator and I'm only doing this to share the side materials to those who cannot access them, if you notice any mistakes please let me know nicely. Enjoy!

This is an interview from 2018, which means it's been released before part 4!

Interviewer: Thank you so much for your hard work with the shooting and outfit change! Pleased to work with you for this interview.

Re:vale: Thank you very much.

Interviewer: Without further ado, you announced that your new album will be released soon. Congratulations!

Momo: Thank you very much!

Yuki: Thank you.

Momo: I'm so happy to share these super happy news with everyone! How about you, Yuki?

Yuki: Yeah. I’m happy to see Momo smile right now.

Momo: Why is it suddenly about me!? I'm happy! But what about the album!?

Yuki: Just seeing Momo's happy face makes releasing the album worth it.

Momo: Is that so!?

Yuki: How about you, Momo?

Momo: I’m gonna make this clear this time...

Yuki: Don’t change your mind now.

Momo: The album is amazing since it got Yuki praising me like that! Yay!

Yuki: That's good. A mutual benefit.

Momo: More like, there are only benefits and zero downsides! I'm super happy! I hope this happiness reaches all our fans along with the album!

Yuki: That’s right.

Interviewer: Although the title of the album hasn't been revealed yet, what kind of album should we expect?

Momo: It will include six previously released songs from "SILVER SKY" to "Kiseki" and two new unreleased songs! I'm sorry, but we can't reveal the title right now…!

Yuki: While we can't reveal the title yet, I hope you'll look forward to it as a culmination of our recent activities.

Momo: It's like our magnum opus!? Is that going too far!?

Yuki: Who knows, you’ll just have to listen to it and see for yourself.

Momo: Yeah! I hope you're excited and waiting for it!

Interviewer: What vibes do the new songs have?

Momo: I really want to tell you... But it's top secret and we've sworn to secrecy...! Argh, I want to tell you...!

Yuki: Can't we tell them a little something?

Momo: It might land us in trouble! Please contact the agency!

*Ringing*

Yuki: Hello, Okarin? I want to tell them about the new songs.

Momo: Whoa, Yuki went out of his well to call directly! Even though Okarin is right behind us!

Yuki: Fufu. He answered the phone too.

Momo: What's he saying?

Yuki: He's whispering, "No way!" Fufu...

Momo: Ahaha! It's cracking Yuki up!

Momo: Okarin said no, so we can't give more details for now unfortunately, sorry! Yuki, stop shaking and comment already~!

Yuki: Haha… Well, I just wanna say we'll deliver something that won't disappoint you.

Momo: As expected of you, Yuki, so handsome~!

Yuki: Thank you.

Momo: And so, please stay tuned to the new songs still in production!

Yuki: Yeah...

Momo: Oh, don't be so gloomy, Yuki! We said it's still in production, right!? Everyone's waiting excitedly! Ah, but I don’t wanna pressure everyone, so just wait patiently like good kids!

Yuki: Fufu, I know. Please wait patiently, everyone.

Interviewer: Yes! We're eagerly waiting for the release!

Interviewer: Can you tell us more about your previously released songs and what you want to highlight for us?

Momo: I recommend all the songs, but since it’s gonna be released in December, our Christmas song "TO MY DEAREST" might be perfect for the season! I personally recommend it because you can enjoy Yuki's sweet voice!

Yuki: You can even sing the "You" in the lyrics with the name of someone close to you.

Momo: That's right! We do that too! I recommend it as the official Re:vale way to enjoy it!

Yuki: Maybe you can use it to confess your feelings?

Momo: Isn't confessing too high of a bar to cross!?

Yuki: Let's give it a try.

Interviewer: Now!?

Yuki: I’m more dazzled by Momo than the multicolored lights covering the city~♪

Momo: "I love you" just isn't enough~♪

Momo: This works!

Yuki: Fufu. See?

Momo: I'm getting more and more excited for the album now!

Yuki: I know.

Interviewer: I wasn’t expecting to hear an impromptu acapella duet from you two! Thank you so much! I'm sure fans are even more excited now.

Interviewer: You called this the culmination of Re:vale’s journey earlier. Can you reflect on said journey so far?

Interviewer: As top artists, there must have been both joy and pain right?

Momo: We’re asked this question often, but whenever I look back I'm reminded of so many happy memories, rather than painful or regrettable ones!

Momo: Because the path we've walked as Re:vale is filled with happiness that we wouldn't have encountered if we weren’t Re:vale! How about you, Yuki?

Yuki: I feel the same as you.

Momo: Yuki~!

Yuki: Besides, being called top artists was never our goal, but if our songs have touched the hearts of many people then I'm happy.

Momo: That’s right! Sometimes I look back and remember the old days. Like the time we had the chance to be featured in a 10-seconds segment on an news program! It was so nerve-wracking!

Yuki: You mean the Ri:varu thing?

Momo: Yeah it is! The reporter mispronounced our group’s name and I was freaking out right before we went live!

Interviewer: That must have been stressful...

Momo: It was! Yuki wasn't fazed at all, but the atmosphere the live broadcast brought was really exciting~

Yuki: Fufu.

Momo: Ah, I digress, but some cute juniors are challenging us lately, so we have to work even harder as seniors!

Yuki: Momo is very good at taking care of others.

Momo: No wayyy~ Are you jealous!?

Yuki: I want you to take care of me too.

Momo: Oh, a straightforward request! What do you mean by that!?

Yuki: If our opinions differ, prioritize mine.

Momo: Hahaha! Isn't that different from taking care of you!? Besides, I always prioritize you, Yuki!

Yuki: Basically, yeah.

Interviewer: Thank you for showing us your couple comedy! Finally, please send a message to your fans.

Momo: I'm just happy to be able to sing next to Yuki, and I'll do my best to deliver the best album together with him as Re:vale!

Yuki: I want it to convey Re:vale’s history up until now and show the future possibilities ahead of us.

Yuki: I hope our music reaches many people through this album and adds a little color to their everyday lives.

The End.

[ewingstan]

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 9-11 for whatever Worm characters come to mind! (Or Sophia/Calvert/Taylor/Krouse if you have any thoughts!)

Fuck it. All of em for all of em.

1. Why do you like or dislike this character?

Sophia: I'll be real I don't feel super strongly about her. She's written to be hateable in an effective way, but she's less of a full character than Emma despite being in much more of the story. And her shit kinda gets bogged down by racist writing (a lot of the worst of it happening right before Aisha's introduction, which is also pretty racist). She's involved in a lot of cool and interesting moments but they're rarely interesting because of her.

Coil: Works really well as the first overarching villain in Taylor's story. He's able to sell the "I'm a bad guy but in an excusable way that's not really too bad" well enough, but also has a lot of obvious red flags even before the Dinah reveal. So you can understand perfectly well why Taylor, a kid who really wanted to continue hanging out with the undersiders and do things that made her feel like she had any control, would go along with him. But you can also take a step back and say Jesus, only a kid who really wanted to continue hanging out with the undersiders and do things that made her feel like she had any control would go along with him.

Taylor: Wildbow has a reoccurring tendency to focus on characters who are both incredibly smart and can get an incredible amount of info quickly, but only in specific limited ways. Its true of Taylor, Lisa, Sylvester, Kenzie, Mia—a lot of my favorites. But the interesting thing is that they're never smart in the same ways, never collect the same sort of info. Lisa has general super-induction but no great skill at making plans. Sylvester can read and manipulate people to a superhuman level but is constantly getting blinded by his own resentments and desires. Taylor's hyper-vigilance gave her the ability to see and react to everything external around her, but no means or real incentive to know whats going on internally with people around her. And it makes sense! She's incredibly afraid of letting people in who'll end up hurting her; people who've genuinely been kind to her in the past have used their previous closeness to hurt her later! Knowing that someone doesn't mean her harm now isn't gonna reassure her, so its safer to assume everyone's a threat and not worry too much about what they're actually thinking.

And then there's Rachel, who she not only connects with emotionally, but is the only person who's able to make an emotional connection with her! And since you understand why its not the norm, its all the more incredible to see!

Krouse: oh I'm glad you asked

2. Favorite canon thing about this character?

Sophia: I like that she and Lung both get wrapped back up in the end for Skitter's Gold Morning missions. I wish she got to do more in those, but I do like it as a story beat.

Coil: How high he got and how far he fell.

Taylor: Man the escape from Coil's trap is a fucking great chapter. She's a one-woman horror movie. Single-handedly sells her as a villain who'd get national attention, and its not even a moment the public knows about. And its in such a great place in the story too, where all the tricks she's using have been established so its not feeling like a weird escalation in her abilities, but she hasn't all employed them at once or to such incredible effect yet. It’s the real culmination of her taking “lessons” from Bakuda about being scary.

Krouse: One of the moments that really sold me on him was when he was getting attacked by Case 53s, and immediately started thinking about how he could take them down, before he interrupts his own thoughts to go "wait, what am I doing, I should just run away." It just sells so much of his whole deal. He's a great on-his-feat thinker, he can be an incredible strategist when he's on his own, but he also doesn't share Taylor's suicidal urge to face any problem head-on. Its kind of the inverse of one of Taylor's early establishing moments: after getting attacked by Rachel, she reaches for a reason to calm down, realizes she doesn't have one, and immediately retaliates hard enough to get blood on her boots. God they're such good foils, its weird that the extent of their relationship is mutually disliking each other. Not even intense dislike in either case.

3. Least favorite canon thing about this character?

Sophia: That the black member of the trio is the one that consistently gets physically violent, is characterized as the athletic one compared to the others in general (instead of "the cute one" or "the prep" she's "the track star"), gets described as being savage multiple times, doesn't have much of a character outside of sucking despite being in a work that's otherwise really good at giving internality to people who act shitty, all that jazz.

Coil: How little sense we got of what Calvert's dominion would really look like. That we didn't get much of his takeover without other disasters interfering actually works—it fits the themes of constant conflict interfering with stability and safety. But I still want more of a sense of what Calvert wanted.

Taylor: I didn't care about her reunification with her mom. I say a lot that the ending of Worm is one of the best endings of any story I've read, and that's true of Gold Morning as a whole, but I don't actually care much about the last epilogue. The Brian reveal certainly doesn't help there.

Krouse: Do you know how much it sucks that when people ask me who my favorite worm character is, the tumblr sexyman is in contention?

4. If you could put this character in any other media, be it a book, a movie, anything, what would you put them in?

Sophia: any story that takes her basic parts, gets rid of the obviously shitty stuff, and develops her into a real character.

Coil: Disney Channel sitcom

Taylor: Well I already tried expy-ing Khepri into my tabletop campaign, and that got mixed results, so I'll take TTRPGs off the list. I'd be interested in her getting put in a medium where you'd have to be creative with how to represent the bug cloud, like live theater.

Krouse: I was gonna say Mob Psycho but then I remembered that they already had a guy who teleported around being a jackass. But I would like too see a well-animated version of his fighting style.

5. What's the first song that comes to mind when you think about them?

Sophia: I'll Make You Sorry by Screaming Females

Coil: For some reason I get an Everything Everything vibe from him? Maybe Photoshop Handsome or Breadwinner.

Taylor: I don't actually read her as trans but Dysphoria Hoodie is what immediately came to mind. I'm at least theoretically still making a Cicada Days animatic about her. I think portions of BCNR's Sunglasses fits with whats going on internally with her in the Mannequin fight

Krouse: Want to make a Prowl Great Cain AMV for him one day. Lyrics fit perfectly, and the way its sung gets the same otherwise inexpressable intensity of how I feel about him. Darnielle said “This is a song about betrayal. A lot of songs about betrayal are about betrayal and redemption. Not this one.” And yeah, that's Krouse!

9. Could you be roommates with this character?

Sophia: Oh, no

Coil: It would prolly be fine except for how he'd torture a branch of my psychological continuity and then effectively kill it by destroying that reality whenever I leave the dishes out too long. Don't correct me on how his powers work

Taylor: Uhhh probably not. Even if I wasn't much older, I don't really talk to my roommates unless they're the talkative sort. She's been stuck living with clamshells before, it wasn't good for her.

Krouse: I'd have to kill him

10 and 11: alright these are "could you be best friends with" and "would you date" and in both cases the fact that I'm 23 means no. I don't have Blake's ability to form rich friendships with people much younger than me. And I'm not interested in Calvert as a friend or a lover.

[thekatebridgerton]

Kanthony mini Drabble that I thought up just for fun:

"Didi, if I tell you we have a problem, you won't be angry at me right?" Edwina mumbled as softly as she could, as they were getting ready for bed that night

Kate frowned " what is it Bon?" Edwina was a gentle young woman who rarely voiced dissatisfaction at all and tonight was supposed to be the night of her dreams

"I feel awful about this, especially considering how kind Lady Danbury and the Queen have been to me" Edwina looked around as tho she was looking out for any suspicious servants "But it's Viscount Bridgerton, the man I danced with... I simply don't like him"

"You don't?... great, I mean, I support you love, of course you don't" Kate sat with her in the bed and patted her hand "do you want to tell me why?"

"oh it wasn't anything he did, the man was perfectly amiable but he just looked at me like if I were a prop on a mantlepiece Didi, Edwina Sharma, another checkmark on his Todo list" Edwina groaned " I can't imagine such a man courting me "

"Oh dearest, if you truly don't like him you don't have to entertain him, nobody will force you to marry him" Kate counselled

"I can't exactly turn him away, he's the most elegible bachelor of the ton, everyone would think I'm insane" Edwina continued leaning on her elder sister "That's why you should get rid of him for me"

"Are you sure?" Kate was known to be heavy handed after all

"Yes, I may not be able to tell him no, but you can! Just drive him away and he'll leave me alone long before he finds out I don't like him" Edwina thought about it for a second "better yet, make him regret even trying to court me in the first place "

_-----------------

One month later

Edwina shook her head looking at her sister and the besotted Viscount glued to Kate's side " you know Didi when I asked you to take him out of my life I didn't mean for you to take him out for a special marriage license"

" I tried" Kate defended herself "I swear I did" trying to push the smirking Anthony away from her " Short of killing him myself he just wouldn't quit coming back"

"forgive her this once Edwina, it was all my fault" her new brother in law chuckled hugging Kate and placing his head on her neck "Kate truly did try her best to drive me away"

Edwina shook her head " And to think during the dinner with my grandparents we were so close to getting him to stop pestering our household"

Kate sighed " I know Bon, I Know"

Au in which instead of asking Kate to get along with Anthony, Edwina asks her sister to drive the man away because she doesn't like him, and Kate spends all the season sabotaging Anthony's life in various ways, until he clues in and starts pushing back against all her dirty tricks. Culminating in a game of pall mall where a sexually-frustrated Anthony decides the best way to finish driving Kate crazy for the rest of his life is to marry her. Leaving Edwina very disappointed at her sister's lack of success getting rid of the Viscount.

[doctorofmagic]

Final thoughts on a lovely journey

*deep inhale*

Please, come inside and sit with me for a moment while we discuss this final issue.

In all my years as a Stephen stan, I’ve never felt this happy to see HIM happy, cared for, surrounded by such meaningful and deep love. I had many beautiful moments so far *coughcough hellfire gala/savage avengers* but this one means the world to me, mostly because he’s reunited with the love of his life.

Love has always been the fundamental force that drives his very existence. He has never healed from the guilt and sadness for watching Clea leave. He couldn’t forgive himself and fell into self-destructive behavior, which later worsened and culminated in depression in the shape of Mr. Misery.

Stephen hasn’t been happy in a VERY long time by our standards of time. It was never clear that he and Clea were in good terms after Sorcerer Supreme by the end of the 90′s and Defenders v2/The Order, but he did go through A LOT ever since she left to lead the rebel army. After the conclusion of Sorcerer Supreme, he made a few cameos here and there until he was adopted by Bendis in New Avengers v1 and v2. He was loved by his teammates but he also made tons of mistakes due to his actions in the Illuminati. He could never forgive himself after what he did to the Hulk, and abusing dark magic only made him feel even more miserable, turning his back to Wong and Linda and embracing once and for all his self-destructive instincts in order to atone for his sins and mistakes.

Hickman’s New Avengers and Secret Wars were no different. They were a downhill towards his own perdition and posterior tragic death by the hands of one flawed man he loved to a fault.

And then v4 happened, the lowest Stephen has ever faced. Alone, fighting himself to preserve a friendship and struggling with his own flaws: his need to be in control, his insecurity, his white and half lies. He was NOT in a good place.

V5 was an exception because, well, not a good portrayal, let alone when it comes to continuity, although he did severe his relationship with Clea.

And then Jed had all the diligence to fix pretty much 30 years of pain, loneliness and Stephen’s inaptitude to be open about his feelings. In fact, Jed is more than willing to work hard and deep into Clea and Stephen’s marriage, and that’s the most important part of this last issue in my opinion.

Because, you see, it’s not the first time they merged and became one. There was one time when Dormammu and Umar forced them and it was pretty much a nightmare. But aside from that, it has always been consented by bonding their souls (with tons of implied sexual semantics, of course). Still, the point is, they deal with magic. I always mention that the magic community is deeper than any other bond in the Marvel universe, mostly because they tap into the spirit and essence of things. So love here... Sure, it’s demanding and takes lots of work, conversation, understanding, patience. On the other hand, when it comes to magic... It’s hard to explain but it’s pretty much how I personally feel about love. It goes beyond the limitations of the physical instance. It connects you to other person in such overwhelming levels of intimacy and trust. It’s not something that should be taken lightly because it goes DEEP.

And that’s precisely what Clea and Stephen’s relationship is all about. Jed, Ferreira, Poggi, Tartaglia, Petit and Garbett did a wonderful job in portraying the depth of this feeling. And it’s just so amazingly done that even when they merge in the being called Strange, they're not 100% on the same page. And this is literally what a deep and meaningful relationship represents. You’re not one with your S/O. You’re your own person. Your relationship creates a strong bond, but you and your partner(s) will disagree on many issues. You will have to find the balance between your needs and the sacrifices you’ll do along the way. Then again, it’s not just about romance. It’s a never-ending mutual journey of growth.

In short? Stephen and Clea are one, but also different in their own uniqueness. And they’ll have tons of work ahead to find said balance. Which is amazing because you don’t see this kind of approach in comic books very often. It’s mature and it reflects how far they’ve come together.

Strange actually reminds me of Garnet and Rupphire, and all the lessons we learned by watching their journey. Steven says Garnet makes it look so easy, to be in a stable relationship. But only Ruby and Sapphire know the ups and downs of their shared lives. And the struggles can only be overcome through kindness, acceptance, conversation, trust, and so many other details that come along with love.

It’s not supposed to be easy, but it IS rewarding. It IS special. It’s fuel to the soul and dew to the world.

Those were humble words to show my gratitude. It’s not just a reunion, but it’s healthy, mature and deeply meaningful. And it really means the world to me that Stephen is happy. It really does. So thank you. A thousand times thank you.

FIN

[sendhearthhome]

Zuko and Who's Afraid of Little Old Me?

“The who's who of who's that? / Is poised for the attack / But my bare hands paved their paths / You don't get to tell me about sad / If you wanted me dead, you should've just said / Nothing makes me feel more alive / So I leap from the gallows and I levitate down your street / Crash the party like a record scratch as I scream / Who's afraid of little old me? / You should be”

This whole first chunk, to me, is Zuko confronting Ozai in Book 3 episode 11 The Day of the Black Sun Pt 2

“The scandal was contained”

Book 1 E12 The Storm, Zuko’s crew thought Zuko had been burned in a training accident, not by his own father

“The bullet had just grazed”

Within the theme of abuse, Ozai and Azula minimise the abuse Zuko endured, Ozai just 'grazed' Zuko’s face

“At all costs, keep your good name / You don't get to tell me you feel bad”

Ozai keeps his reputation, while Zuko is banished to spend over 3 years trying to get his honour back (which he never truly lost)

“Is it a wonder I broke? Let's hear one more joke / Then we could all just laugh until I cry / So I leap from the gallows and I levitate down your street / Crash the party like a record scratch as I scream / Who's afraid of little old me?”

“I was tame, I was gentle 'til the circus life made me mean”

Zuko was a gentle child, but Ozai thought he was too soft. The circus life can connect to the pageantry and brutality of the Fire Nation Empire

“Don't you worry folks, we took out all her teeth”

In Book 2, when he’s a refugee, Zuko feels humiliated and powerless, having gone from a prince to a ‘nobody’, his shame critically culminates here in Ba Sing Se

“Who's afraid of little old me? / Well, you should be (you should be) / So tell me everything is not about me / But what if it is?”

“Then say they didn't do it to hurt me / But what if they did?”

Ozai burned Zuko to “teach him respect” but really, it was just abuse

“I wanna snarl and show you just how disturbed this has made me / You wouldn't last an hour in the asylum where they raised me”

These two lines truly encapsulate the rage of realising how fucked up your childhood was only once you’re out of it. You couldn’t see it when you were in it but you survived hell, and now that you understand that, you’re so fucking angry

“So all you kids can sneak into my house with all the cobwebs / I'm always drunk on my own tears, isn't that what they all say? / That I'll sue you if you step on my lawn / That I'm fearsome and I'm wretched and I'm wrong / Putting narcotics into all of my songs / And that's why you're still singing along”

People have preconceived notions about Zuko: he’s spoiled, selfish, and volatile. While these are areas where Zuko has genuine growth in the series, it is important to remember that they’re used by adults in the Fire Nation (ex. Ozai and Zhao) to discredit and demean him

“So I leap from the gallows and I levitate down your street / Crash the party like a record scratch as I scream / Who's afraid of little old me? / I was tame, I was gentle 'til the circus life made me mean / Don't you worry folks, we took out all her teeth / Who's afraid of little old me? / Well, you should be (you should be)”

“'Cause you lured me / And you hurt me / And you taught me / You caged me and then you called me crazy / I am what I am 'cause you trained me”

 Zuko’s autonomy and free will are really what led him to join the Gaang. He realises he never deserved Ozai’s abuse, never lost his honour, and his actions are his own. 

But you can’t deny the poetry of ‘you created the thing that destroyed you in the end’

“So who's afraid of me? / Who's afraid of little old me? / Who's afraid of little old me?”

I lowkey want to write a zuko-centric song fic...

Let me know what you think and if you interpret the song differently!! <3