5. No murder (OR TERRITORIAL GENOCIDE WHAT THE FUCK ANGEL)
6. No smuggling in of drugs. Not by sticking them up your ass. Or by hiding them in a pizza box. Or by slingshotting them to the roof. Or getting someone else to. Not at all.
7. No sexual rendezvous with outsiders in the hotel. No SHOWING sexual rendezvous with strangers to people of the hotel either.
8. Make sure the pig/future pets stay in the patron’s room. (This includes eggs!!)
9. No singing Limit singing to once twice per day
10. Stop flirting with the bartender Angel
11. Don’t call Husk “Husker” unless he allows it.
12. No harassing the staff at all. This includes asking who tops.
13. Don’t suggest anything sexual/romantic to Alastor unless you want your head cut off.
14. NO CUTTING OFF PEOPLE’S HEADS
15. NO EATING PEOPLE
16. NO MAKING CHARLIE CRY.
17. Don’t ask me to put my spear “inside you” Angel, what the fuck?
18. Don’t turn the interior of the hotel into a swamp?! Keep it contained in your room if you must!
19. No stabbing staff or residents. No matter how much they look like bugs! (OR IF THEYRE NAME IS ANGEL)
20. Don’t try and stab bugs if they’re within 10 feet of another demon.
21. Don’t call anyone a “bitch” OR TALK ABOUT HOW MY NAME SOUNDS LIKE “VAGINA”
22. Limit Niffty’s access to sharp objects.
23. NO DEALS ALASTOR
24. No drinking. Limit drinking at bar.
25. No mentioning the Stock Market Crash of 1929. For everyone’s benefit.
26. Don’t blow a hole in the wall.
27. Try to keep roast battles OUTSIDE the hotel. (Or stop picking fights?? Please Alastor I swear to God…)
28. No spying on the hotel for outside sources or putting technology that can be used against us.
29. No evil laughing in the middle of the night, what the fuck Alastor?
30. No building weapons/war machines.
31. No eggs! (Fine the eggs can stay.)
32. Someone please keep an eye on Niffty. (And the eggs.)
33. Stop touching people ANGEL.
34. Don’t make other people storm off HUSK.
35. Respect boundaries.
36a. If Angel looks like he’s about to pass out/cry don’t comment. Let him do his thing.
36b. Don’t try to talk to Angel if he’s on the phone with Valentino. Honestly don’t even mention his phone calls with Valentino.
37. Please don’t call Lucifer “Daddy”
38. Don’t turn into a 20 foot tall demon-eating creature unless absolutely necessary.
39. Don’t cause angry loan sharks to show up at the front door.
40. NO EXPLOSIONS!
41. Rule #2, “No fights” can be broken if the person you’re fighting is Valentino. Or Adam.
42. Don’t lie to your girlfriend or hide the fact you were secretly an angel.
43. DONT TALK ABOUT PEOPLE’S TITS (or lack of)
44. KNOCK BEFORE ENTERING A BEDROOM ESPECIALLY IF SOMEONE’S HAVING MAKEUP SEX
45. Don’t give people makeovers while they’re sleeping, ANGEL!
46. Don’t pretend to eat someone’s pet, ALASTOR
47. Don’t die.
48. I never want to hear the words “cum-plete” again.
49. STOP HAVING FIGHTS ACROSS THE BUILDING LUCIFER AND ALASTOR!!
50. If Charlie is passed out on the couch LET HER SLEEP
51. No making bombs in the hotel Cherri!
52. Stop breaking rules and then saying it’s “FOR SIR PENTIOUS!”
53. Angel don’t try to shoot someone if they break spaghetti.
54. Don’t break spaghetti. Or “ruin” Italian food. Whatever the fuck that means. This apparently includes pineapple on pizza.
55. Don’t mention Valentino unless Angel brings him up first.
56. Don’t comment on Angel and Husk’s flirting.
57. Only call Angel “Anthony” if things are serious (or if you’re Husk)
58. Don’t use any of the nicknames Husk and Angel use for each other. This includes but is not limited to: “Whiskers”, “Legs”, “Kitty”, “Webs”, “Tony”, “Love”, and “Baby.”
59. It’s better not to question whatever facts Husk gives about his past.
60. Family dinners at 6 pm unless you can’t make it due to prior obligation. Game nights after on Sundays.
61. No hunting people for sport and NO KNIFE MONOPOLY.
62. Don’t attach knives to a roomba so you can have a “boyfriend” Niffty.
63. Keep Niffty away from Roombas.
64. Alastor, treat people with decency. Really, it’s not that hard.
65. No making giant ducks that breathe fire to chase people around the hotel just because they call you short.
66. Therapy. Everyone.
67. DONT HAVE SEX ON THE BAR WHAT THE FUCK GUYS?!
68. If Valentino enters the property you have permission to stab him.
69. “Hell is forever” is bullshit. You guys aren’t. You can do this.
synopsis// maybe it wasn’t your smartest idea to fall for the guy your friends introduced you to, who’s also trolling you online—but, in your defense, how were you supposed to know they’d end up being the same person?
status// finished!
updates// everyday unless said otherwise
warning// no curses!au, streamer!au, friends to lovers?, inumaki is just a strange strange silly (cringe) man and lowkey rich???, kys jokes bc comedy, and also rlly cringe and corny jokes bc comedy, n if anyone is ooc take that up with the universe not me!
☆ this smau wasn’t inspired by a song but the title was!! ‘twas inspired by digital display by ready for the world, but yeah besides the title and lyrics on here the song holds no relevance :) ☆
Hint: If you ever encounter this puzzle in a crossword app, just [term for someone with a competitive and high-achieving personality].
A Crossword Puzzle [Explained]
Transcript
[A square 15x15 crossword puzzle is shown. Only 21 of the 225 squares are black. The black squares are in a pattern that are 180 degree rotationally symmetrical. Three black squares down from the 11th column and similarly three black squares up from the 5th column. Three black squares out from the right in row 7 and then two more black squares diagonally up from the end. Similarly three black squares out from the left in row 9 with two more black squares diagonally down from the end. A single black square is three above the first black square on the diagonal going down to the right and similarly there is a black square three under the first of the diagonal squares going down to the left. (Row 6 column 12 and Row 10 column 4). Finally there are three black squares on a diagonal crossing over the central point by going up from the left through the central point (Row 8 column 8). There are numbers at the top of every column (except the one that is a black square) and similarly at the left edge of all rows (except the one that is a black square). There are also numbers at the bottom of every black segment (except the one that reaches the bottom) and all rows after black segments except the one that reaches the right edge. In total all numbers from 1 to 51 is written. They are written in reading order from 1 to 51.]
[Below the square there are two rows of clues for each number that belongs to across (rows) and to the right there are one row of clues for each number that belongs to down (columns). Both segments have an underlined and bold title above the clues. ]
'''Across'''
1. Famous Pvt. Wilhelm quote
11. IPv6 address record
15. "CIPHERTEXT" decrypted with Vigenère key "CIPHERTEXT"
16. 8mm diameter battery
17. "Warthog" attack aircraft
18. Every third letter in the word for "inability to visualize"
19. An acrostic hidden on the first page of the dictionary
21. Default paper size in Europe
22. First four unary strings
23. Lysine codon
24. 40 CFR Part 63 subpart concerning asphalt pollution
25. Top bond credit rating
26. Audi coupe
27. A pair of small remote batteries, when inserted
29. Unofficial Howard Dean slogan
32. A 4.0 report card
33. The "Harlem Globetrotters of baseball" (vowels only)
34. 2018 Kiefer song
35. Top Minor League tier
36. Reply elicited by a dentist
38. ANAA's airport
41. Macaulay Culkin's review of aftershave
43. Marketing agency trade grp.
44. Soaring climax of Linda Eder's ''Man of La Mancha''
46. Military flight community org.
47. Iconic line from ''Tarzan''
48. Every other letter of Jimmy Wales's birth state
49. Warthog's postscript after "They call me ''mister'' pig!"
50. Message to Elsa in ''Frozen 2''
51. Lola, when betting it all on Black 20 in ''Run Lola Run''
“Down
1. Game featuring "a reckless disregard for gravity"
2. 101010101010101010101010 [sub]2→16
3. Google phone released July '22
4. It's five times better than that ''other'' steak sauce
5. ToHex(43690)
6. Freddie Mercury lyric from ''Under Pressure''
7. Full-size Audi luxury sedan
8. Fast path through a multiple choice marketing survey
9. 12356631 in base 26
10. Viral Jimmy Barnes chorus
11. Ruby Rhod catchphrase
12. badbeef + 9efcebbb
13. In Wet Let's ''Ur Mum'', what the singer has been practicing
14. Refrain from Nora Reed bot
20. Mario button presses to ascend Minas Tirith's walls
As voted on by 503 novelists, nonfiction writers, poets, critics and other book lovers — with a little help from the staff of
The New York Times Book Review.
NYT Article.
*************
Q: How many of the 100 have you read?
Q: Which ones did you love/hate?
Q: What's missing?
Here's the full list.
100. Tree of Smoke, Denis Johnson
99. How to Be Both, Ali Smith
98. Bel Canto, Ann Patchett
97. Men We Reaped, Jesmyn Ward
96. Wayward Lives, Beautiful Experiments, Saidiya Hartman
95. Bring Up the Bodies, Hilary Mantel
94. On Beauty, Zadie Smith
93. Station Eleven, Emily St. John Mandel
92. The Days of Abandonment, Elena Ferrante
91. The Human Stain, Philip Roth
90. The Sympathizer, Viet Thanh Nguyen
89. The Return, Hisham Matar
88. The Collected Stories of Lydia Davis
87. Detransition, Baby, Torrey Peters
86. Frederick Douglass, David W. Blight
85. Pastoralia, George Saunders
84. The Emperor of All Maladies, Siddhartha Mukherjee
83. When We Cease to Understand the World, Benjamin Labutat
82. Hurricane Season, Fernanda Melchor
81. Pulphead, John Jeremiah Sullivan
80. The Story of the Lost Child, Elena Ferrante
79. A Manual for Cleaning Women, Lucia Berlin
78. Septology, Jon Fosse
77. An American Marriage, Tayari Jones
76. Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, Gabrielle Zevin
75. Exit West, Mohsin Hamid
74. Olive Kitteridge, Elizabeth Strout
73. The Passage of Power, Robert Caro
72. Secondhand Time, Svetlana Alexievich
71. The Copenhagen Trilogy, Tove Ditlevsen
70. All Aunt Hagar's Children, Edward P. Jones
69. The New Jim Crow, Michelle Alexander
68. The Friend, Sigrid Nunez
67. Far From the Tree, Andrew Solomon
66. We the Animals, Justin Torres
65. The Plot Against America, Philip Roth
64. The Great Believers, Rebecca Makkai
63. Veronica, Mary Gaitskill
62. 10:04, Ben Lerner
61. Demon Copperhead, Barbara Kingsolver
60. Heavy, Kiese Laymon
59. Middlesex, Jeffrey Eugenides
58. Stay True, Hua Hsu
57. Nickel and Dimed, Barbara Ehrenreich
56. The Flamethrowers, Rachel Kushner
55. The Looming Tower, Lawrence Wright
54. Tenth of December, George Saunders
53. Runaway, Alice Munro
52. Train Dreams, Denis Johnson
51. Life After Life, Kate Atkinson
50. Trust, Hernan Diaz
49. The Vegetarian, Han Kang
48. Persepolis, Marjane Satrapi
47. A Mercy, Toni Morrison
46. The Goldfinch, Donna Tartt
45. The Argonauts, Maggie Nelson
44. The Fifth Season, N.K. Jemisin
43. Postwar, Tony Judt
42. A Brief History of Seven Killings, Marlon James
41. Small Things Like These, Claire Keegan
40. H Is for Hawk, Helen Macdonald
39. A Visit from the Goon Squad, Jennifer Egan
38. The Savage Detectives, Roberto Balano
37. The Years, Annie Ernaux
36. Between the World and Me, Ta-Nehisi Coates
35. Fun Home, Alison Bechdel
34. Citizen, Claudia Rankine
33. Salvage the Bones, Jesmyn Ward
32. The Lines of Beauty, Alan Hollinghurst
31. White Teeth, Zadie Smith
30. Sing, Unburied, Sing, Jesmyn Ward
29. The Last Samurai, Helen DeWitt
28. Cloud Atlas, David Mitchell
27. Americanah, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
26. Atonement, Ian McEwan
25. Random Family, Adrian Nicole LeBlanc
24. The Overstory, Richard Powers
23. Hateship, Friendship, Courtship, Loveship, Marriage, Alice Munro
22. Behind the Beautiful Forevers, Katherine Boo
21. Evicted, Matthew Desmond
20. Erasure, Percival Everett
19. Say Nothing, Patrick Radden Keefe
18. Lincoln in the Bardo, George Saunders
17. The Sellout, Paul Beatty
16. The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay, Michael Chabon
15. Pachinko, Min Jin Lee
14. Outline, Rachel Cusk
13. The Road, Cormac McCarthy
12. The Year of Magical Thinking, Joan Didion
11. The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao, Junot Diaz
10. Gilead, Marilynne Robinson
9. Never Let Me Go, Kazuo Ishiguro
8. Austerlitz, W.G. Sebald
7. The Underground Railroad, Colson Whitehead
6. 2666, Roberto Bolano
5. The Corrections, Jonathan Franzen
4. The Known World, Edward P. Jones
3. Wolf Hall, Hilary Mantel
2. The Warmth of Other Suns, Isabel Wilkerson
1. My Brilliant Friend, Elena Ferrante
after your college had announced that all the students were required to join a club and attend it twice a week, you were planning on either a) dropping out, or b) join the art club and pretend to be sick most of the times. that was before you discovered that park jisung is a long time member of the football team. change in plans: you LOVE football.
or in which you mindlessly join the football club in hopes of catching your crush’s attention (and to maybe secretly check him out too) who cares if you can’t even kick a ball up in the air?
football-player!jisung x fem!reader
genre ; rlly just humour, football / sports au, fluff, some angst, pining and eventually mutual pining, probably slow-burn, college au, strangers to lovers.
extras ; teasing and profanity | sexual and death jokes | reader is down bad | jisung kinda dislikes reader and closed off at the start | my knowledge on football isn’t the BEST but i know above basics and enough for this fic | idrc if some of these subject clubs don’t exist this is for entertainment 😸
notes ; 😭 mostly posting this for myself cos i’ve wanted to try a smau for a while now but i hope anyone else enjoys too.
PLAYLIST ; Rising , TripleS — Hype Boy , newjeans — Awkward , SZA — Gasoline , ROSY (FT. LILMONEY) — Attracted To You , Pinkpantheress — Cognac Queen , Megan Thee Stallion — Goodie Bag , Still Woozy — Eyedress , Something About You .
STATUS ; completed! (24.02.24)
profiles (1) | profiles (2)
1 ) donghyuck’s fault
2 ) 20% more insane
3 ) it’s the voices again
4 ) yes captain!
5 ) invest in a priv account
6 ) peach lipton ice tea
7 ) no suicide EVER
8 ) always believe women
9 ) grape & lemon drink
10 ) favourite teammate
11 ) wingman
12 ) jeno’s food provider
13 ) no lunch
14 ) awkward tension
15 ) a simple conversation
16 ) an even more normal conversation
17 ) under my umbrella
18 ) a canon event (ft. Renjun's Black Friday offer)
PAIRING ▸ lee heeseung x fem!reader (ft. enha, winter from aespa, beomgyu from txt, and dino from svt)
GENRES ▸ social media au (smau), crack, fluff, stoner au, strangers to lovers
WARNINGS ▸ profanity, sexual jokes, zero braincells, limited knowledge of the starbucks corporation, weed consumption, dumb shenanigans, ignore timestamps!
SUMMARY ▸ in which you work at the starbucks where heeseung is a regular at (and considered a public enemy). also he only goes when he’s stoned off his ass.
AUTHOR’S NOTE ▸ hello !! i am alive (real) also i was so committed to the bit that i got high to make this <3 shoutout @hoonbear for the Extensive Starbucks Knowledge 🫡 i would also like to note that i am NOT doing a tag list for this smau. also please note that this is a fictional setting and to boycott starbucks in real life for firing their workers over their pro palestine speech. remember to do your daily click!
INCOMING MESSAGES !
TEASER
PROFILES ONE | TWO
01. weed guy beomgyu
02. red bitch with the freckles rizz
03. starbucks public enemy #1
04. 50% cut ???
05. lee heeseung: upstanding citizen, NOT murderer
06. clearing up misunderstandings with an aqi under 50
07. chat is this real
08. daddy’s home 2
09. biodegrade ur chance at romance
10. triple filtered reverse osmosis water filtration system
11. losing the idgaf war
12. crazy gets u bitches
13. banned in the name of love
14. riki s worded irl??
15. 8ball brings nations together
16. killing myself postponed tonight repostponed
17. scheming sponsored by crazy bitch 62 and unimportant goon
18. the do-over date to end all first dates
19. seek BetterHelp.com
20. quarterly store meeting (remote)
21. WHAT ARE WE
22. heejake support group for heejake victims
23. bro fumbled the unfumbleable
24. sunghoon is the new Papa John
25. according to penal code 837 🤓☝️
26. jungwon pulls bitches (the duolingo owl) too
27. someone PLEASE take jungwon to see the teenage mutant ninja turtles movie
28. 14th date’s the charm
29. doc mcuggo
30. nothing to write home about
31. LONDON I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL I LOST MY QUEEN TOO
32. starbucks double chocolate brownies
33. having a kid together before dating is next level
34. tweaking out on 5 hour energy
35. 7.83 inches
36. The Milk Makes The Man, And The Man Makes The Milk
37. sunghoon from papa john's from starbucks
38. then who's flying the plane???
39. league of legends quarantine ex girlfriend
40. WELCOME HOME CHEATER 😐
41. unknown evil forces (chaewon)
42. friends to rivaling coffee shop employees au
43. do NOT get the weed frap
44. now on channel 9 news
45. choose your fighter heeseung tit variation
46. kitten i'll be honest, daddy's about to kill himself
47. a fire can be put out but missing a bereal is forever
you might be void of feelings i fear i haven’t felt for anyone
synopsis// by no means did you hate soulmates, you just hated that he was your soulmate. not like megumi was ecstatic that he was your soulmate either. but that’s fine, both of you found someone else to keep you company.
status// finished!
updates// everyday unless said otherwise
warning// dating app!au, soulmate!au, college!au, no curses!au, enemies(?) to lovers, profanity, megumi and y/n are edgy pieces of shit <3, kys jokes, crack humor? i’m going back to my cringe 2020 smau roots with reaction images id say i’m sorry but i’m not, if any characters or dynamics r ooc take that up with the universe not me !!
☆ this smau wasn’t inspired by a song but the title was!! ‘twas inspired by spell strike by provoker, so besides the title and lyrics on here the song holds little to no relevance :) ☆
you might be the only one
might be the only one for me
feeling 1. young and stupid
feeling 2. child of divorce
feeling 3. no schedule just vibes
feeling 4. six feet under
feeling 5. this is my fight song
feeling 6. success rate
feeling 7. lone wolf
feeling 8. dumpster fire
feeling 9. retail therapy
feeling 10. be normal
feeling 11. the enemy has been defeated
feeling 12. enemies to lovers irl
feeling 13. exorcism
feeling 14. shut ur up
feeling 15. winner
feeling 16. hip hip hooray
feeling 17. swiped right!
feeling 18. silly little mystery
feeling 19. for no reason
feeling 20. i guess so
feeling 21. sigh of relief
feeling 22. relationship territory
feeling 23. don’t hmu
feeling 24. major in loser
feeling 25. fight club
feeling 26. jigsaw
feeling 27. ghosting
feeling 28. cold shoulder
feeling 29. before marriage
feeling 30. meant to be
feeling 31. a hunch
feeling 32. survival of the fittest
feeling 33. he knows
feeling 34. so close yet so far
feeling 35. (disrespectfully)
feeling 36. regressing
feeling 37. take pity
feeling 38. telepathy
feeling 39. betrayed
feeling 40. two birds with one stone
feeling 41. dead end
feeling 42. mass hysteria
feeling 43. an apology
feeling 44. baby’s first reciprocated love
feeling 45. psychological warfare
feeling 46. jealous
feeling 47. a facade
feeling 48. learning to coexist
feeling 49. with you
feeling 50. useless E information
feeling 51. good idea
feeling 52. break the peace
feeling 53. enjoy the peace
feeling 54. revenge
feeling 55. tolerable
feeling 56. catastrophic
feeling 57. fumbled
feeling 58. easier than you think
feeling 59. no downtime
feeling 60. caught red handed
feeling 61. for good
feeling 62. replace megumi with megumi
feeling 63. delicate
feeling 64. best bet
feeling 65. valid question
feeling 66. devils incarnate
feeling 67. patience is a virtue
feeling 68. grow and change as a person
feeling 69. megumi truthers
feeling 70. knock on wood
feeling 71. come find me
feeling 72. cryptic
feeling 73. more than aware
feeling 74. see the future
feeling 75. trying to be nice
feeling 76. why do you hate me
feeling 77. knight in shining armor
feeling 78. perfect paradox
feeling 79. idgaf war
feeling 80. stay like this forever
feeling 81. baby bird
feeling 82. found your way back
feeling 83. heart racing
feeling 84. loverboy activities
feeling 85. megumi this megumi that
feeling 86. protect you
feeling 87. flirt back
feeling 88. wingmen
feeling 89. in love with megumi allegations
feeling 90. more broken
feeling 91. gets shirtless again
feeling 92. 1 new message!
ACCIDENTALLY IN LOVE | Sukuna X You | CHAPTER INDEX I /PROLOGUE (Part 1-68)
-meet cute? a cheesy musical number? forget it! love makes itself known to you through a minor car accident, a broken arm, and a treacherously charming temporary chauffeur
GENRE: full-length smau + prose | bad boy x good girl | college au | a lot of firsts | aged-up characters | strangers to lovers | smut | fluff | angst | ooc depictions - soft sukuna ftw
TW/CW: strong/mature language | adult content so mdni on some parts | mentions of alcohol and/or smoking | mentions of injury, promiscuity and bullying | pet names because they're cute with 2D men | toxic behavior | will add more if something arises
AKI’S NOTES: Reblogs and likes are very much appreciated, and I actively respond to comments as well as Asks. Also, if you’re interested, I will include you in the tag list. Just message me through whatever avenue you’re most comfortable with. Happy reading!
61 | 62 | 63 | 64 | 65 | 66 | 67 | 68 | CHAPTER INDEX II
ADDITIONAL NOTES: i will be using pics and other media which would fit situations and make the smau-ness of this piece a little more realistic and entertaining when i believe it’s appropriate/fitting to the plot (as i've done with my other smau). having said that, with regard to inclusivity, i just want to put it out there that they will not necessarily be aimed as the exact descriptions to fit a supposedly generic reader nor will they be representative of a specific race or color. it’s all for the simple fact of media availability, for funsies and the fact that i don’t exclusively write in consideration of those aspects when using reader-insert characters unless i specify it. thank you for understanding.
TAG LIST: CLOSED
PLEASE READ: If you wanna be included in the tag list, please make sure that your “Exclude __(tumblr username)__ from Tumblr search and recommendations” setting is OFF so I can actually tag you guys and you'll get notifs when I update. Thank you very much.
Here's a reference for the instructions from domainofmarie. Thank you very much, my friend. This is very helpful.
A/N: I have another version of this story somewhere on the internet with different characters, and I thought, why not make it a Sukuna smau. So excited for this! This'll probably come out this weekend lol or the next if push comes to shove.