#Am adult

[disease-danger-darkness-silence]

Raven and I are currently pushing through the process of getting our own place and it's looking like it's gonna happen soon! And I interviewed for a part-time job that I think I'll enjoy! Things are looking up!

That said, PLEASE send me links, either in the comments, by reblogging, or by message/asking, to household shit you realized you can't live without. I'm putting together an Amazon wishlist to remind myself to start slowly accruing things, since we lost so much over the last two or three years, and I cannot remember all of the things I might need or want.

This includes furniture, if you've found something amazing! If it's something I can save up for, I don't care!

Currently I have a list of shit that ranges from like life goal furniture that's $600 down to $6 night lights bc I may wind up living with my granddaughter, daughter, and son-in-law. So just... Anything! Cooking, cleaning, bathroom, makeup supplies, whatever!

[phantomrose96]

I think we should have a turn of phrase for "I'm not in the right, but I AM annoyed with this situation, so I just need to go bitch to a friend about this before I suck it up and go do the right thing" because more and more I'm finding this is a critical element of functional adulthood.

[barblaz-arts]

Hell's most vanilla couple

[wintercosmickillsx]

nice

[t4tails]

have you guys seen the mod of r/samandmax losing his shit over ppl drawing gay fanart and deciding to ban all sam and max shipping from the subreddit

[tiktaalic]

one of my beloved friends (very autism) was in.. not denial but ignorance sounds mean. but that abt themself last time you brought up the raads r test so i sent it to the gc (full of autism) and they were like psh. fake test no one could get below 100. they know now but i think about it so much

The thing is. When you take the autism test. And you see your score is in the 100 to 160 range. You think. Oh this is probably the middle? Middle autism. Tinge of autism. Your relatives calling you bright but shy autism. Just a whiff of autism. And then you see the score ranges. And you go. This test is lying to me there is absolutely no way the majority of people score under 65. The 65 number is such a low cutoff and so many of these experiences are clearly universal a score under 65 is something they made up in a lab. People who score under 65 are obviously scoring just under that mark from 59 to 64 and they’re also obviously lying or purposely misrepresenting their experiences as less severe than they are. And then you find out there are real people who get a 20 or 30 or 7 on it. And you go. Ah

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[crayonurchin]

First art of the new year is all about re-structuring your internal monologue.

In my early 20s I was working full time in London with many social commitments and a variety of hustles and side projects.

In my later mid 20s I cater to many sensory and social drain needs I have and indulge in special interests while respecting my lower energy reserves and celebrating my different way of processing the world.

Did I get more autistic? Nah. I got less fake.

-

[Art description: Three panels showing figures on a black background. Long descriptions follow.

1. A drawing of OP as a person with hip-length hair and a dress standing sadly with her hands clapsed together in front of her. She is coloured a muted rainbow gradient. Behind her, two pairs of nondescript figures chat while smiling. White text says, ‘I’m getting more and more autistic the older I get.’ 2. OP’s colours are brighter, and her expression looks happier. Crayon-like scribbles have crossed out the text from the previous panel. 3. OP’s colours are vibrant, and she balances on one leg and throws her arms out as she dances. The text above has changed to say, ‘I’m becoming more and more myself the older I get.’ \End descriptions]

[mikkeneko]

PSA to fan creators who don't have a lot of regular contact with children: They are almost always bigger than you think. A 1-year-old baby may already be walking. A toddler is likely already hip-high. A 10-year-old may already be taller than at least one of their parents. A 14/15 year old may already have reached their adult height.

[disease-danger-darkness-silence]

Things I need to fix on my car

(Best case scenario | Worst-case Scenario) This is all based on whether I am physically capable of the work involved, and whether I have the tools to do the job. My car is the 2014 Chevy Impala. The 2006 Kia Rio5 I'm giving to my daughter, although that needs some work too. IMPORTANT STUFF IS MARKED WITH AN ASTERISK * The two most important for the Impala are the ABS sensors and new tires, honestly.

* ABS sensor and wire replacement on wheels: ($20 | $100) I may be able to fix this for almost no cost, if the sensor and sensor wire are OK, but I'd have to get some steel hangar strapping ($9) and figure out how to best secure it away from the axle, because that's what keeps wearing out the ABS sensor wires.

* New tires: ($500 | $750) Mine are falling apart. I could get some used ones for $200 but then they'd need replacement again in 6 months.

Windshield: (Free | $225) I have a resin kit to fix the chip/s in the windshield, but the entire thing is really pitted and I think it may crack this winter, regardless of a fix.

Fix wiring on side-windows: ($45| $200) If I can get a trim-pull kit ($21, or $40 with a big set of clips), I can probably just fix the wiring myself with a soldering iron and some replacement door clips ($6). If not I need a body professional to do it.

* Radiator drain and fill: ($45 | $200) I'm pretty sure I can do this myself. I need a fuck-ton of distilled water ($2), a bunch of radiator cleaner ($10), an oil pan to hold the old antifreeze in ($15), and winter antifreeze mix ($15). But if I can't, I need to take it in to a mechanic.

* Transmission drain and fill: ($175 | $1000) Also pretty sure I can do this myself. Transmission seal ($14), sealing oil pan ($15), transmission fluid (dextron 6, 5.3 qts, $35/gal), transmission filter ($28), transmission gasket ($9) and grease ($2). The biggest expense will be a new torque wrench (~$50), as mine died. Still cheaper than a transmission tune-up from a pro.

* Oil change: (75$ | $90+tip) Can definitely do this myself but I don't know that I wanna because laying under the car hurts my back a lot. Same with the other stuff. Blegh. Oil pan ($15), oil (full synthetic 5W-30, 6 qts, $7.50/qt or $28/5 qt), oil filter ($7), drain plug gasket ($15). Need a torque wrench for this, too.

Tune-up: ($124 | $250) I for sure can do this myself, basically just need to change the spark plugs. My car takes extra-special iridium plugs so it'll be a little pricy for six of them ($11x6). Need to get cabin ($24) and engine air ($24) filters, and a fuel filter ($10), too.

Fix bumper: ($30/$70 | $300) I'm pretty sure I can do this myself but I need spare clips ($6) and some filament ($15) for my 3D pen my sister got me. I also need to find said pen, or buy a new one ($40). And I need some sturdy, different-grit automotive sandpaper ($8).

Paint touch-ups: ($69 | $500) Car paint is expensive. I'd need automotive primer and the paint itself, and a topcoat, or have a pro do it. It's oddly important because it keeps it from rusting. I can get a kit in my car's color (WA636R) for ($69).

Wind deflectors for windows: ($65 | $) Pretty sure I can install these myself. If not I have to have a body shop do it and idk that I care enough. It would help with retaining heat in the winter and cool in the summer.

* Windshield wipers: ($52 | $92) Definitely can install these myself, it just depends on what brand is available when I go in for them - cheapest 22" driver's side is showing for $23 at Autozone, and 21" passenger side is showing $23 as well. Also need winter-rated window wash fluid ($5).

Detailing ($175 | $450) I can either do this myself by purchasing some things, or I can pay someone to do it for me. Things would be: drill wet-sanding kit ($19), drill brush cleaning kit ($36), upholstery cleaner ($19), upholstery protectant ($17), interior cleaner ($12), headlight cleaner ($20), protectant ($25). I already have a steamer, drill, and wet/dry shop vac (although there's a bomb accessory kit I wanna get regardless for $27). Either way, the car needs to be deep-cleaned, inside and out. It's bad. Although, now that I think about it, if I invested $300 in equipment (better steamer, larger chemicals, power washer) and chemicals, I could do detailing for friends and family and get my money back fairly quick, and I need to detail the Kia for Adrienne anyway.... Hm.

Things I need to do for the Kia for Adrienne

* Remove old bearings and install new ones. (Already have bearings and tools, just no hand strength to remove bearings. Need biiiig mallet.)

* Polish and fix headlights. (Need polish and some more UV resin, as well as bulbs.)

Get quote from fast glass about rear windows, or make a better mold of the rear windows and make better resin replacements.

* Pull oil pan and replace plug. (Have plug already, need impact wrench flex set).

* Change oil and oil filter. (Need oil and filter.)

* Change engine air filter. (Have filter.)

* Fix locks and handles. (Need trim pulling kit and spare clips.)

Deep-clean. (Need detailing kit, turtle wax, rainx, and dent-puller.)

* Fix windshield (either resin kit or replacement windshield).

* Find key and copy. Look into if it'll take a fob.

Alignment and struts.

Fix the pull for popping the hood.

Tires possibly.

Transmission, radiator, and engine flush.

* Fuel filter and cabin air filter.

Possibly paint to fix any rusting that may be occurring.

* Battery needs to be charged and possibly replaced.

[anotherpapercut]

just had an absolutely sickening conversation with a 20 year old I work with wherein I had to impress upon her that her and her friends need to be extremely cautious going to the gay clubs right now with increasing attacks happening. make sure any very young, very newly adult queer people in your life know that we're a family and community and part of that is being willing to fight for your siblings lives if they're under attack. even if it's a person you despise, you stick up for your family and they will stick up for you. we are all we have. the cops refuse to help, and so do most people outside the community. we cannot survive without each other

[egophiliac]

this is basically what happened, right?

(these guys are very lucky that everyone at NRC 1) has the combined intelligence of a sack of bricks, and 2) is easily distracted by shiny things.)

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

finally at that age where i'm thinking i should get a tattoo. not bc i feel strongly about it, just seems like a waste not to. i've got so much skin i'm not using

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 261

“So is no one going to talk about the eldritch space child or…” 

“I mean, do you want to get between a child and Batman? I think the only one who could even get close right now is Superman…” 

“No you’re right, I think- oh my god the eldritch space child is playing with batman’s bat-ears and he’s not doing anything about it what the fuck I thought only Robins could get away with that-” 

[transpanda-1]

Some creative: “I’m gonna critique greedy CEO’s! Just you watch! This is how I view them!”

*Peeks in*

*The most fatphobic caricature you’ve ever seen*

[frownyalfred]

we don’t talk enough about how difficult it must be for Clark to see grown-up Damian, decades after Bruce is dead and gone. how he looks just like his best friend, his closest colleague, except for the eyes — the eyes are the one thing that no one else can ever match.