okie chokie, let’s go
uhhh
just gonna paste this directly from my notes cuz I suck at summarizing…
Witch au:
Okay, so this entire thing essentially revolves around lunar because um reasons that I don’t feel like disclosing (I have none). Okay. So. There’s this funky lil pendant that pretty much everyone sees as a priceless artifact. There’s legends surrounding at, whispers of untold power beyond time and space, secrets that bend reality to your every whim. (Fun fact that definitely isn’t important at all: KC helped design it!) So of course, a certain orange dorito man goes looking after it. He’s dedicated pretty much his entire life to researching its abilities and whereabouts, and finally, after countless years of searching, it’s in the palm of his hand. Exceeeept…whoops! He doesn’t know how to use it. And he tries everything: he flips through all his texts, all the notes left behind, but there’s nothing said about activating it. He tries knocking, incantations, different acids and solvents (fun fact: he was an alchemist’s apprentice for a lil while in his youth!) to no avail. Finally, he rubs the dumb thing like Alladin’s lamp, grasping for straws before giving up and tossingn the damn thing across the room. And who should come out but a little ghost, curious to see who disrupted its vessel.
Lunar is essentially like Casper. Very sweet and friendly, but a little oblivious of boundaries. Besides, he hasn’t been outside in a loooong time; he’s eager to explore and check out what’s changed, much to Eclipse’s chagrin. He doesn’t exactly like the new spirit, but it’s the only lead he has in unlocking the pendant’s power. So, he puts up with him, albeit not with the…best treatment. Eclipse isn’t exactly well-versed with kids; he hardly got to be one for very long. That, and his main priority is the pendant; Lunar’s a liability. He conducts a good deal of experiments, trying to set Lunar free from the object, but that is seemingly impossible. As Eclipse’s experiments continue to fail, his temper grows shorter, and Lunar suffers all the worse for it. Eventually, Eclipse gives up altogether and scraps the project regarding Lunar’s involvement, and seeks out someone to just break the pendant in hopes that that’ll work (his time working on it have made him…less than mentally stable). So, poor Lunar finds out and is cast to the wayside, seemingly forgotten. He resolves to run away and escape Eclipse’s place (since he has no real ties there besides the emotional abuse and manipulation on Eclipse’s part) with the pendant tied around his neck.
He wanders around for a lil while, and what should he happen upon but a nice little cabin in the middle of the woods. It’s a lot cozier than Eclipse’s, and he wanders inside in hopes of somehow figuring out how to solve this little amulet issue since it’s…kinda not great for him either. So he explores the little house, only to be caught red handed by our good friend the witch.
Moon is the witch in this au. He, like Eclipse, was also an alchemist under KC, but he actually completed his training and went on to study on his own, becoming fairly well-versed in magic and the dark arts. Anywho, he walks into his cabin and meets this little ghost who looks absolutely terrified at his presence. Moon assures him that he’s not here to cause any trouble, and the ghoul seems to relax, if only slightly. Moon essentially decides to just let him stay for as long as he wants to, only saying that he might have a bit of an issue with his brother…
Sun isn’t a witch like Moon, He dabbled a little bit in alchemy, but he only knows the basics of that and most magic. His knowledge gravitates more towards creatures of myth and legend. He’s a demon hunter of sorts (he runs into a particular demon at some point…), collecting the necessary ingredients for Moon’s experiments, as well as a few of his own. He comes home a week or two after Lunar, and, considering his line of work, may have…overreacted a little. Moon stops him and explains the situation, after which Sun profusely apologizes to a wary and somewhat fearful Lunar.
I’m gonna just cut myself off here cuz I ran out of steam for the day.
(uhh @sunnyinajar mmmgonna tag you cuz uh you seemed uh somewhat hyped about this jumble of ideas earlier but uh I dunno yea here’s this um yes right sorry for tagging you if you already saw it or didn’t uh wanna see it and uh yeah I’m gonna stop talking before I delete this entire thing and shove it down a garbage shoot-)
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the thing is there's like, a point of oversaturation for everything, and it's why so many things get dropped after a few minutes. and we act like millennials or gen z kids "have short attention spans" but... that's not quite it. it's more like - we did like it. you just ruined it.
capitalism sees product A having moderate success, and then everything has to come out with their "own version" of product A (which is often exactly the same). and they dump extreme amounts of money and environmental waste into each horrible simulacrum they trot out each season.
now it's not just tiktokkers making videos; it's that instagram and even fucking tumblr both think you want live feeds and video-first programming. and it helps them, because videos are easier to sneak native ads into. the books coming out all have to have 78 buzzwords in them for SEO, or otherwise they don't get published. they are making a live-action remake of moana. i haven't googled it, but there's probably another marvel or starwars something coming out, no matter when you're reading this post.
and we are like "hi, this clone of project A completely misses the point of the original. it is soulless and colorless and miserable." and the company nods and says "yes totally. here is a different clone, but special." and we look at clone 2 and we say "nope, this one is still flat and bad, y'all" and they're like "no, totally, we hear you," and then they make another clone but this time it's, like, a joyless prequel. and by the time they've successfully rolled out "clone 89", the market is incredibly oversaturated, and the consumer is blamed because the company isn't turning a profit.
and like - take even something digital like the tumblr "live streaming" function i just mentioned. that has to take up server space and some amount of carbon footprint; just so this brokenass blue hellsite can roll out a feature that literally none of its userbase actually wants. the thing that's the kicker here: even something that doesn't have a physical production plant still impacts the environment.
and it all just feels like it's rolling out of control because like, you watch companies pour hundreds of thousands of dollars into a remake of a remake of something nobody wants anymore and you're like, not able to afford eggs anymore. and you tell the company that really what you want is a good story about survival and they say "okay so you mean a YA white protagonist has some kind of 'spicy' love triangle" and you're like - hey man i think you're misunderstanding the point of storytelling but they've already printed 76 versions of "city of blood and magic" and "queen of diamond rule" and spent literally millions of dollars on the movie "Candy Crush Killer: Coming to Eat You".
it's like being stuck in a room with a clown that keeps telling the same joke over and over but it's worse every time. and that would be fine but he keeps fucking charging you 6.99. and you keep being like "no, i know it made me laugh the first time, but that's because it was different and new" and the clown is just aggressively sitting there saying "well! plenty of people like my jokes! the reason you're bored of this is because maybe there's something wrong with you!"
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