#BUT THE FISH LOOKS SQUISHY IN A BAD WAY

[streamsofstardust]

help it's after 3 am and i somehow ended up on german whole fish mukbang tiktok

[wynnyfryd]

hey, quick question but what if Eddie hadn’t just said “make him pay” at the end? what if he’d actually done it, screwed up his face and his single scrap of courage and kissed Steve hard, one desperate press of lips before he stepped back out of Steve’s space? Only…

Only Steve’s not gay. He’s not. Not that there’s anything wrong with it if Eddie is, but he isn’t. Steve likes girls, is kind of hung up on one girl in particular, actually, and she’s standing right behind him watching this go down, and oh, God is this awkward now.

He squares his shoulders, gives Eddie a nod that he hopes conveys something like “sorry” and “it’s okay” and “I’m not gonna punch you when this is over, man, I’m really not,” but Eddie’s eyes cut away and he clears his throat and then Nancy’s saying, “Steve? Steve, we need to go.”

So Steve goes.

Steve goes, trudges through the woods with Nancy radiating uncomfortable energy all down his side, and Steve’s got a pit in his stomach and a scorch mark on his mouth where Eddie’s lips left a fucking brand, the kiss repeating on a loop in his mind. He starts thinking about how he’s probably about to die, how he’s gonna die feeling all upside down in the Upside Down and it’s a really stupid joke but it gets him mulling over the fucked up weird life he has now versus the one he always kinda thought he wanted. He tells Nancy about it: the crawling backwards, the thump on the head, how she’s always his co-captain in his Winnebago dreams.

She looks at him with soft, sad eyes — God, her eyes are always so sad, have been ever since the day Barb disappeared — and she rests a delicate hand on his forearm and asks, “Do you think… do you think maybe it’s always me in your dream because I’m the only person your mind thinks it’s allowed to put there?”

“What do you mean?”

“Steve.” Her eyes aren’t so soft now. They’re shining with that hard glint they get when she’s lost patience with Steve’s bullshit. It’s a look Steve knows well, and his hand comes up to touch his lips.

“But I- I’m not…”

“Just go,” she says, her jaw set, all that unbreakable resolve on display. “Robin and I can handle this. Go.”

Robin turns back to look at him over her shoulder, gives him an encouraging nod, and Steve takes off running, sprinting through the trees, following the sound of screeching bats.

When he bursts through the treeline, panting and sweating and clutching at his torn-up sides, Eddie’s in the middle of a maelstrom, his makeshift shield held in a shaking grip as an army of bats encircle him.

“Eddie!” Steve shouts, lungs burning as he begs his feet to move faster, to run fucking run because one of the bats dives at Eddie’s head and another takes a bite out of his leather sleeve; a third one whips a tail around Eddie’s ankle and then Eddie’s going down, pulled to the cracked, filthy earth by gnashing teeth and bloodied claws, and they’re eating him, getting at all those squishy vital bits around his middle when Steve finally hacks his way through the horde to get to Eddie’s side. Armed with an ax and Eddie’s spear, Steve strikes and slashes blindly at the wall of shrieking monsters as they start circling tighter, caging them in, and he’s dead they’re both dead they’re so fucking screwed—

The bats drop. All at once and with no reason Steve can discern, their screams fall silent and their bodies squelch all around them as they slap the hard ground like dead fish on a dock.

Steve drops to his knees beside Eddie, and Jesus Christ, there’s- there’s so much blood oh God oh fuck.

“Bad, huh?” Eddie asks, and how is he still smirking when there’s blood spilling out of his mouth? When there’s a chunk missing out of his jaw?

“Jesus Christ, Jesus Christ, Jesus Christ,” Steve mumbles frantically, not sure if he’s praying or panicking or both. He gets his shirt off, rips at the remaining scraps of Eddie’s, too; starts using them to make bandages. “Shit, Eddie, just- just hold on, okay? Stay with me.”

He wriggles a scrap of fabric under Eddie’s brutalized torso, and Eddie screams when Steve pulls it tight around his sides, ties it off and presses down, trying to slow the bleeding. There’s so much fucking blood. His knees slip in it as he ties a tourniquet just above Eddie’s elbow, hoping it’ll save Eddie’s mangled arm, and he bunches the last of the fabric up and presses it to the shredded edges of the wound on Eddie’s face.

Eddie smiles up at him with tears in his eyes, with blood on his lips. “Pretty- pretty grand gesture for a guy you don’t want to kiss.”

“Shut the fuck up,” Steve says, and he’s crying, too. “I don’t- I just…”

“Steve,” Eddie chokes, his breath whistling out with a sickening wheeze, and Steve doesn’t know how the fuck he’s going to get him through the gate and back to safety without making him bleed out. “Steve, it’s… s’okay. M’sorry I kissed you, man.” His eyes are glazing over, and no, please, please, don’t—

Eddie looks up at him, brow furrowed, like it’s taking a lot of effort. His eyes are still so pretty, even now, as Steve hovers helplessly and watches the light slowly leave them. “Actually, I- I guess m’not,” Eddie slurs. “Had to do it at least once b-before I- before I—”

“EDDIE!!!!” a furious, cracking voice echoes through the empty park. Eddie’s trailer door bangs open, falling off its hinges, and a limping Dustin Henderson comes storming across the lot.

“Dustin!!” Steve hollers back, relief flooding his veins like maple syrup straight from the tap, and incredibly (hysterically, he’s probably in shock), he’s laughing when he looks back down at Eddie. Eddie, who’s half dead in his lap, whose blood is all over Steve’s pants. Who Steve might be able to save now.

He shakes Eddie’s shoulders and says, “You can kiss me all you want when we make it out of here, man,” his voice all high-pitched and full of phlegm and trapped somewhere between a laugh and a sob, and Eddie’s eyes go wide at the promise in Steve’s words.

“Dustin!” Steve yells again, pleading, “Dustin, come on, come help me move him!”

It’s slow going, but they get Eddie through the gate, get him taped up so he’s more bandage than boy by the time the ambulance arrives. A medic claps Steve on the shoulder and says ‘You did good, kid,’ and Steve cries at that and then spends an annoying amount of time crying over the next few days, curled up in a rickety chair at Eddie’s bedside in the hospital.

More tears when Eddie finally wakes up. Happy ones this time, and there’s a parade of people coming in to hug Eddie and give him flowers and even Hopper gives him a grudging hair ruffle and an attaboy, and then Steve’s driving Eddie home in the Beemer; gets all the way to the driveway before Eddie brings it up.

“Did you mean it?” he asks, his voice timid and barely audible over the hum of the car.

Steve cuts the engine. “Hmm?”

“Did you, um- the thing, that you…” Eddie spins a ring around on his finger, lets out a frustrated huff. “I mean, I didn’t die, right? I made it out of there, so…?”

You can kiss me all you want when we make it out of here.

Steve’s ears burn at the memory, his mouth going dry, and he must take too long to answer because Eddie starts trying to backpedal. “Sorry. Sorry, you said you’re not— I just thought, maybe— shit, uh, f-forget I said-”

“No! No, um.” Steve scratches the back of his neck. “Turns out I kind of am. Or, like. Well, I mean, Robin said liking both is its own thing, it’s not a mix of the two, but…”

“…But both?” Eddie finishes, and his eyes are sparkling.

“Yeah. Both,” Steve shrugs. It’s getting easier to say. “…Mostly just you, though.”

“Oh, just mostly, huh?” Eddie teases, unbuckling his seatbelt so he can lean into Steve’s space.

Steve’s face feels too warm. His neck is probably all splotchy. “Whatever. Are you gonna shut up and kiss me already or what?”

“Uh huh,” Eddie grins and runs his tongue over his teeth. “Many times as I want, right?” He brushes Steve’s hair behind his ear, his calloused fingers so gentle against Steve’s jaw as he lines their faces up.

“How many times is that?” Steve whispers.

“Mm….” Eddie’s mouth brushes against his. “Start counting and let’s find out.”

[starrylevi]

Can you do more Levi and chunky baby.

Of course!!! ☺️ Okay so this kind of got away from me. I had trouble figuring out how to end it so if the ending seems abrupt I apologize 😅

🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣

“This little sucker’s got some weight on them.” Hange teases with a smile as she pokes the baby’s cheek.

“Sounds like you’re just weak.” Levi retorts. “Give me my child.”

Hange rolls their eyes at him. “I never said it was a bad thing, Levi.”

Levi stares at Hange for a few seconds before he relents.

“Your dad’s so easy to anger.” Hange speaks in a childlike voice to the baby. “Good luck, kid.”

“Certain people are quick to anger me.” Levi corrects them as he throws a glare their way.

Hange’s eyes light up when you walk into the room. “Ah, y/n, could you please tell your husband to lighten up?” They request as they walk over to you, your baby babbling on their hip.

You quickly look at Levi who rolls his eyes and you shake your head with a chuckle. “What did you do this time, Hange?”

“I just said your baby’s got some nice weight on them.” Hange says with a smile before looking back at the baby. “Don’t cha, ya little plum.”

You sigh with a smile, knowing your baby’s weight is a touchy subject for Levi. “I’m sure you didn’t mean in a bad way.”

Hange looks back at your husband as if to say ‘See, Levi?’

“However, you should be careful about what you say around him. I won’t be liable for any injuries.” You tell Hange with a smirk as they pass you the child.

“You gotta tell your auncle to be careful with their words or daddy will hurt them.” You take them into your arms, kissing them on the cheek, emitting a happy babble from them. “Isn’t that right?”

“Yeah, yeah, I got it.” Hange says mockingly, making you giggle, before they walk out of the room.

You walk over to Levi whose eyes soften as you get closer. “Hi.” You greet him softly before you give him a quick kiss on the cheek.

“Hey.” Levi sighs as he gently pulls you in by the waist for another kiss, minding the baby. “And hello to you too.” He gives them a gentle kiss on their forehead.

“I was thinking of taking a shower. Do you mind?” You ask him.

“Of course not, give ‘em here.”

After you leave the room, Levi puts down a clean baby blanket on the floor before he sets a colorful inflatable water mat right in front of it.

“Alright kid, it’s tummy time.” He places the baby down on their stomach with their upper half directly on top of the mat.

He watches as the baby becomes fixated on the squishy fish and ducks floating around in the mat. Their chubby hands try to grab at the fish while they try to hold themselves up. “There you go.” Levi says under his breath. The baby doesn’t typically like tummy time so you and Levi tried to think of different ideas to make it more stimulating for them. This inflatable mat is what you two decided on.

They seemed to be entertained for a few minutes before he sees their little body slowly roll themselves over so that they’re on their side. “Where do you think you’re going, hm?” Levi gently grabs the one chubby hand in the air and brings it back down so that they’re upright on their stomach again. The same thing happens a few more times. “Now you’re just being a little shit, huh.” He watches as the baby rolls over for the last time on their back. “Wonder where you got your stubbornness from.” He mutters to himself as he picks up the little chunk. The baby babbles and taps his cheeks with their little hands. “I’m sure that was fun for you, wasn’t it?” He asks them, earning a babble from them as a response. “Yeah, I bet…”

Levi grabs one of the baby snacks on the dresser before sitting down on the rocking chair you begged him to get, baby on his lap. “What am I gonna do with you?” He shakes his head as he opens the bag and feeds the baby a snack. “Should we just leave you somewhere?” Levi asks thoughtfully. As the baby chews on the snack, they look up at their father, their big sliver eyes mirroring his. The way they’re looking up makes it seem like they understood what Levi said. “No you don’t like that idea?” The baby continues to stare at him, making Levi let out a chuckle before he feeds them another snack. “Love you bud.”

[phantomphangphucker]

Phic Phight - Ghosts And Cold Turkey Is A Bad Mix

@darthfrodophantom @datawyrms @kalifa100 @lovelyunknown @nat-space-obsessed @duchi-nesten

Jazz has a boyfriend. Jazz has a boyfriend who has NOT met her family. Jazz has a boyfriend who has not met her family and knows absolutely NOTHING about her families career path. Jazz has a boyfriend who was about to have A Bad Time. Danny, Elle, and Dan were going to make sure of that in every way remotely possible… short of world ending calamity.

Alright, so Jazz probably should have actually talked to Bassel about her family, preferably before he had decided that he absolutely had to finally met her family. It was spring break so she couldn’t exactly push it off till later, or long enough to explain anything really, so he was officially going in ‘cold turkey’. Had she mentioned that her family was weird? Of course, that was unavoidable. But she’s fairly certain he thought that ‘weird’ meant being really into fishing or made crochet baby dolls, not everything ghosts. And now that they’re on the road she’s fairly certain that telling the driver that ghosts are ‘the family business’ is a bad idea; it would not be good if he were to drive off of the road in shock.

Bassel chuckling, “so am I going to get regaled with stories about weird birds they’ve seen bird watching or the last obscure B list bird horror flic?”.

Jazz laughing awkwardly, “you have not idea. No idea at all…”.

Unfortunately Jazz was unaware of one simple fact, it wasn’t just her and her plus one who was coming to visit for the break….

Jack beams as a clawed hand crams itself through the seam in the Fenton Ghost Portal™, turning his head to the stairs, “Danny! Your kid’s are here!”.

“AWESOME! WE’RE MAKING COOKIES TO PACIFY THE GREMLIN! SEND ‘EM UP!”.

Sweet! Cookies! Yum. Jack turning back to the portal as the doors slam open loudly and threateningly, Jack chuckling to himself, that man was always such a drama queen. Watching the tall full ghost step through the now open portal, a little sister sitting perched on his shoulders. The little missy waving wildly at her grandpa, “hiyya gramps!”.

The flaming-haired full ghost scoffing, “Yeah yeah, whatever”.

Jack grinning and jumping up, moving to hug the two, the elder of the two stiffening and just ‘putting up with’ the hugging, “glad you kiddos could make it!”, ruffling the littler one’s hair, “there’s cookies”.

“Hell yeah!”, and she’s off like a rocket, flying up the stairs.

Jack eyes the full ghost, “beat any other ghosts down lately?”.

The man snorts, “obviously. Not that any of them were much of a fight”, grinning meanly, all fang, “the gorffens were deliciously squishie though”. Jack laughing as the two large men head upstairs.

Danny’s grinning his head off watching Elle devouring at least fifth-teen ghost-shaped cookies. Waving at Dan as he comes up behind Jack, “there’s pure ecto-cookies too, Mr. Can’t Eat Mortal Realm Food”. The full ghost scowls and flips him off but absolutely takes a couple of the overly green person-shaped cookies. Ha. The human cookies were ghost shaped and the ghost cookies were human shaped.

“Whatever, mom”.

Danny absolutely scowls at that, chucking a cookie at the ghost. While Maddie hums, eyeing them all, “Jazz will be coming by too”.

“Oh? When?”

“Any moment now, I believe”.

“I am in pj’s!”.

Dan snorts, “you look like a dumbass no matter what you’re wearing”. That gets him immediately blasted in the face with a small ecto-beam, the ghost only grinning viscously in response; Danny zipping up through the ceiling to get changed. Mom seriously couldn’t have told him sooner? Gosh! He had a new ugly ass sweater with a stupid ghost joke on it to show off!

The knots in Jazz’s stomach could kill her if they became ghosts right about now, as Bassel pulls them up into her drive way. He nearly rams into the house actually, having been staring at the ops centre on the roof, “uh, okay, spaceship on the roof is slightly more out there than I was expecting?”, looking to her, “and do they run their business from their house? Hence the sign?”.

Jazz laughs awkwardly, “they have permits for it… that they got after building it”.

He shrugs, “I can admire the guts”, and patting her on the shoulder, “and stop being so nervous, I’m a great guy! I’m sure they’ll love me. Plus you’ve said they’re pretty easy to please”.

“Oh I’m not worried about their reaction to you, rather your reaction to them. I have mentioned they’re weird right? And that my dad’s taller than ninety-one percent of the human population?”.

“… you did not mention the height, damn that’s impressive, he’s the one with the personality of a puppy, right?”.

She gives him a supportive back pat before they get out and head to the front door, “yes, and thank everything for that. His hugs are crushing though”.

“I bet”.

The door pops open without her having to knock, meaning Danny’s up, “sup Jazz and- oh shit, you brought company. Fuck. Two seconds”, and slams the door in her face.

Bassel quirking an eyebrow, “what? Is he still in pj’s or something? That was a really ugly sweater. Pink? and green? Together? Ew”, chuckling a little, “and did it say ‘boo’ onto others as you would have others ‘boo’ unto you? Why was there an image of a ghost aggressively holding out a loaf of garlic bread?”.

She snorts, even if she’s honestly confused, “oh no, he always makes sure to wear something really unpleasant to look at when he knows I’m visiting. I believe it’s born from a sick, though harmless, degree of sadism”, frowning, “though I’m not sure why he just rudely slammed the door in our faces”.

And then she hears the cackle, the loud deep malicious cackle, officially realising that she… might have fucked up. Just a little bit. Sighing and facepalming, “oh no”. The couple standing there as seemingly a shouting match goes on inside.

“GET CHANGED YOU DIPSHIT!”

“YOU CAN’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO! MOM!”.

“I WILL END YOU!”.

“GO AHEAD AND TRY!”.

“Are they gonna want these cookies or?”.

“DON’T YOU DARE! Yes, gumdrop, leave them some. HEY DROP THAT! DROP THAT NOW!”… “EW!”.

“HA!”.

“DAN!-”.

Then the door jerks open very aggressively, and Jazz and Bassel stare up at the giant of a man with too sharp eyes and a feral unkind grin, “so you bagged someone, eh? Need someone to beat him through the wringer?”, and moves to grab Bassel’s arm; who thankfully has the common sense to pull away while staring almost disturbed at the man.

Jazz grabbing Dan’s wrist and holding him, glaring at the semi-reformed mass murderer/genocidal, parricidal, infanticidal, amicicidal, omnicidal, deicidal, ecocidal, mundicidal, psychopath. “Don’t even think about, Dan”.

“Aw but Jazzy-”.

She points a finger in his face, “no. Bad. No trying to physically fight my boyfriend”.

Then Dan’s head gets yanked back, Danny grasping the man’s ponytail, “get back in here, you shit”. The door closing again.

Jazz turns and winces at Bassel’s freaked out expression, “alright so, I didn’t know Dan was going to be here. I would have absolutely said no, if I’d known that”.

“Should I be worried?”; he looked extremely worried.

Jazz grimacing, “he’s… on parole, for, well, for murder so, yes”, grabbing Bassel’s wrist, “well we’re here now, just, don’t go anywhere with him alone. He’s also a prankster”.

Bassel almost squawking, “Murder?!?!”, as she drags him through the threshold into the Fenton household.

They get smacked with the noise immediately, she still doesn’t get how her parents managed to make a semi-sound barrier for inside the house that worked even when doors or windows were open… even if it didn’t always work well with ghosts or half ghosts. Danny is ramming cookies into Dan’s face while standing on his shoulders and snarling, Dan attempting to yank him off. Elle is bouncing around on all fours playing with cujo, who’s vibrating with excitement literally. Dad is laughing, head on the table, and slamming a fist on it repeatedly; a chair falls over. And Mom’s set the stove on fire and is smacking it leisurely with that fire-proof ghost net; the Fenton Flamo-Containo she thinks.

Jazz rolling up her sleeves, sighing, and moving over to her mom, “what did you burn, mom?”; and starts properly smothering the flames… the flames have faces and eyeballs.

This was a mistake. This entire trip was a mistake. Her poor boyfriend.

Bassel blinks, gives himself a fortifying shake, and swallows, “hi? Um, I’m Bassel?”.

The smallest one is on him in a second, it’s freaky. Her chirping up at him, “why did you say that like a question? Are you a question? If I question you will you become a sentient question mark?”.

What? Her eyes are way too big and her skin is smooth. It’s… very strange. Then she’s being picked up by the smaller boy- the teenager, that he didn’t even hear approach. “Elle-”. That was strangely chastising to hear from a teen. “-no giving people existential crises”.

“Are question edible?”.

The teen quirks an eyebrow, “I mean probably? if you write them on a piece of paper?”.

“If I write them on apples and pelt doctors with them do you think they’ll anwser my questions without poking me?”

“Eh fuck it, give it a go. Tell me if it works”. Then the teen looks up to Bassel, “sup, I’m Danny, the little brother”.

Bassel nods awkwardly, this kid… was seriously off. His skin was too smooth too, eyes not right and dangerous, his hair seemed… darker than black. The hell is he looking at? “Uh. Bassel? I already said that though. Um, I’m guessing the girls the youngest sibling?”.

She pops out around Danny’s leg, “I’m the granddaughter actually”. Danny snorting, “grand-gremlin is more like it”. She bites the teen… does she have fangs???

Bassel blinks harshly, pointing at the… murderer, “his kid? I take it?”. And now that he’s looking, what the hell is up with how similar they all look???

Dan barks out a laugh, shaking his face off like a dog so hard pieces of green? cookie physically stab into the walls and cupboards, “that shit stain is moms kid, not mine! Holy shit!”.

Danny snapping his head to Dan and pointing aggressively at him, “you”, shrugging and changing tones so fast Bassel nearly gets whiplash, “would have absolute nightmare kids and I would cry if your dumbass is the one to make a grandpa of me. Fuck you”.

Bassel is… very confused.

Mrs. Fenton shouting, “and I don’t want to be a great-grandma! Thank you very much!”, and coming over, Jazz looking to be scowling down at the stove, “hello, I’m doctor Maddie Fenton, feel free to just call me Maddie though”, swatting him on the arm, “none of that Mrs. or Dr. stuff”.

Danny pouting at her, “hey, why does Val still have to call you Mrs then?”.

“Because you two are still teens mister”.

The teen only pouts more…. His eyes look far too glass-like, like he’s a doll. Bassel kind of wants to be no where near him. Eyeing Jazz’s mom, the… hazmat is extremely concerning, maybe he should have asked more about what her parents did for a living? or their hobbies? “You have a doctorate?”.

The woman grinning, “that’s right! Primarily in ecto-ology and clinical laboratory science. but also criminology and medical science. My husband, Jack has doctorates in ecto-ology and clinical laboratory science as well, public health, chemistry, and practical theology”, turning away to eye Jazz, “the Apple doesn’t fall far from the tree”.

“For the millionth time, mom, I’m still not studying ecto-ology; spectral psychology is completely different and that isn’t even my primary field of study”.

Bassel blinks, okay he knew she said her parents were smart but damn. But… ecto-ology? Really? A pseudoscience? Taking that in conjunction with practical theology made some sense, many religions believed in sprits after all, but with medical degrees? With actual scientific degrees? He’d thought Jazz’s spectral psych was a bit odd, especially with the rumours she talked to ghosts which he brushed off, but at least it made sense since she wanted to be a therapist. Many people can use religion and the belief in spirits to help heal after all. “Ecto-ology huh? As your primary? Interesting choice”.

Then Jazz’s dad is on him in an instant, not inhumanely like Danny had been but to see someone so massive move so fast was jarring, “oh! Did Jazzypants not tell you!”, slapping a hand to his chest proudly, “the Fenton’s are a family of ghost hunters!”.

What.

Maddie eyes her daughter, “Jazz”. While Dan out right cackles evilly and Danny wheezes, hands on his knees, “Jazz you dumbass!”.

Bassel blinks harshly, “ghost… hunters?”, o-kay that was… a lot weirder than he expected. Her parents believed… in ghosts and claimed to ‘hunt’ them. No wonder his girlfriend wanted to study psychology, her parents were delusional.

Jazz can tell that her boyfriend absolutely thinks her parents are insane now. Danny eyeing the guy before wheezing more tells her he’s noticed too, walking over to her and patting her on the arm, “he doesn’t believe in ghosts, does he”.

She sighs, “I… don’t think so”.

“HA!”. Oh Dan was just eating this up.

Elle running over with cujo, holding the pup up at Bassel’s face, he looks like he barely resists recoiling, “pet the ghost pup and believe”.

“Why is he green?”.

“Because he’s dead! Dummy!”.

“What”. Then cujo is in his arms, his face is horrified, but he does cautiously pat cujo’s belly. Him stiffening and staring as the dog floats up and starts walking on the ceiling; Elle giggling.

Danny slinking over to the guy while Maddie tries to swat the dog off the ceiling, “yeah, welcome to Amity, famously the most haunted city in the world. And yes, your girlfriend’s parents are the leading ghost scientist of the entire world and sell ghost weapons to the government and general public”, doing jazz hands, “surprise!”.

Bassel hasn’t even made it past the entry way, Jazz feels like an ass for letting him go into this blind. Her shoving Danny away, “don’t be mean”, eyeing Bassel, who’s wide-eyed, “yeah sorry? I did tell you they were weird”.

Bassel eyes Dan standing on the table to pin a fucking green floating dog to the ceiling. Maddie’s holding a strange taser, that has green electricity, threatening the dog; Danny’s dangling off of her arm shrieking about leaving his pup alone and how if anyone’s going to get tased it should be him. Looking back to Jazz, “by weird you mean insane? I’d question the ghosts thing but there’s a floating green dog on the ceiling. Hell, I’m almost questioning my own sanity”.

Jack laughs, rubbing his neck, “oh yeah! We get that a lot! But hey! People stop calling you crazy once they get attacked by a talking five foot tall hornet or a town gets sucked into another dimension!”.

Jazz huffing, “you guys just will not let me live down that stupid hornet, will you”.

Danny shouting, “technically it was a shapeshifting old man! Not a hornet!”, as he runs out of the room with cujo in tow.

Maddie following with the taser, “Danny! he needs to be punished when he does that!”.

“No! Never! Kiss my dead ass!”.

Bassel blinking, “your… brother swears a lot, and wait did he claim to be Dan’s mom? What? I’m sitting down”.

Jazz wincing, “don’t sit on the orange chair, it screams sometimes”. He squeaks an ‘okay’ and sits on the purple couch rubbing his temples; Jazz plopping down beside him.

Dan shouting, “Is anyone gonna eat the ecto-wienies!?!”, from the kitchen.

Jazz scowling to herself before shouting back, “Dan don’t! I dont want Bassel passing out!”.

“That’s the point!”.

She throws her hands up dramatically in fur-station, at least her dad rushes off to stop Dan from consuming screaming hot dogs while their guest adjusts to his new reality.

Bassel groaning, “and why would I pass out?”.

… “They scream too. It’s… pretty freaky to see someone eating squirming screaming hotdogs if you’re not prepared for it”.

“And why do your parents have hotdogs that do that and how even?”.

Jazz shakes her head, “they might have studied clinical laboratory science but they absolutely do not practice good lab safety or sample safety. Things get contaminated accidentally a lot”.

“And that… makes hotdogs able to move and scream?”.

“That about sums it up, yeah”.

“What the actual fuck, babe”.

Then Dan pops over, arms crossed, “thanks Jazz, now gramps has confiscated all my food”.

Jazz pointing at him as he flops down on the same couch as them hard enough to make the couch bounce, “good and could you sit down any harder?”.

“I was aiming to knock you two love birds off”.

“Zone you are such a jerk”.

“I aim to displease”.

Bassel makes an aggressive motion with his hands, not looking at either of them, “okay what the fuck. First how did that not break the couch? Two how is a teen boy mom? And what is wrong with this town and house?”.

Dan snorts and Jazz knows she’s going to hate what comes out his mouth, him eyeing her, “should I tell him there’s a portal to the afterlife in the basement, or should you?”. She slaps him immediately, wincing from the definite sprained wrist she just gave herself; stupid full ghost jerk. He sticks his tongue out at her and she wants to slap him again; at least his tongue isn't forked at the moment.

Jack pops back in carrying Elle by the waist, her arms and legs dangling down as she giggles, “you good, Jazzy?”.

Dan chuckling, “no. She regrets not warning a certain someone”, putting a hand to his chest, “I fully support that fucking chaotic choice”.

Jazz scowling, “you just enjoy seeing people suffer”.

“Hey, if I’m not allowed to kill folks anymore I gotta get my kicks somewhere? Or would you rather I start skinning animals and leaving their flesh hanging from trees?”. Dan gets bashed off the couch by a baseball bat wielding Danny. “Ow! Seriously mom?”.

“Threaten to skin animals for the lols again and I’ll sic Sam on you”.

Dan puts his hands up, “I’ll pass, you kill joy”.

“Good”.

Bassel gags and makes a face at Jazz, gesturing his hands at Dan as Danny smacks him with the baseball bat again, “what”.

“He’s… got a twisted sense of humour?”.

“Not that!”, Bassel shaking his head, “well yes that, what is wrong with that man. But I mean the mom thing?”.

Jazz eyeballs the full ghost, “Dan’s a tough subject, let’s just say a lot of really nasty things happened to him and at least one psychotic break. And he calls Danny ‘mom’ mostly to annoy him”.

“Oh that’s a lot less weird-”.

“Danny kinda is his mom though”.

Basel groans.

Elle pops her head over the couch, somehow escaping Jack’s grasp, “Danny’s uncle is a mad scientist who has no issue dabbling in super evil human experimentation, Dan and me were tots made from Danny via fucked up science and suffering! Hooray for causing mass confusion!”.

Bassel glancing from the small girl to his girlfriend, “seriously?”.

Jazz sighing, “yeah, sorry. Technically that man’s mine and Danny’s god father, not uncle, but Danny likes to bug the man. Vlad… needs so much therapy”.

Danny shouting, “at least he’s got a cat now! Even if he did name her after mom”; while Dan snags the baseball bat and pops Danny on the head with it. Danny bites the baseball bat.

Bassel shakes his head, “so you weren’t kidding about being somewhat related to one of the richest men on the planet, and he’s basically a crazy super villain; great”.

Jack rubs his neck, “unfortunately yeah, I kinda blew up a proto-portal in his face and he didn’t take that well”.

Jazz puts her hands on her hips, leaning forwards a little, “dad, you guys didn’t visit him in hospital even once, for seven years. Of course he didn’t take that well”.

Danny popping out from behind Jack, “he still complains about that, by the by. I dumped get well soon cards on him last time he was whining about it. Asked him if that made up for it, he shouted no and shot me in the foot”.

Jazz shaking her head, “I still don’t get how you two ever get along”.

“Hey, arch enemies gotta have some bonding time sometimes. Plus, he’s got the good liquor and will absolutely try to bribe me with expensive gifts”.

“And I keep telling you that’s unhealthy and you’re only encouraging him”.

Dan chuckling, “let him, who knows, maybe I’ll get another gremlin sibling”.

Basically everyone, even Bassel, shouting, “NO!”.

Maddie getting back towards the kitchen, and bring out what remains of the ghost-shaped cookies, “cookie?”, offering them to Bassel.

… “are they going to start screaming?”.

Maddie blushing immediately, Jazz covering her mouth and laughing, “no. No. Only things that were once alive tend to do that. Baked goods are fine”, eyeing the cookies, “and they’re not green so they’re safe for human consumption”.

He takes a cookie and munches it very cautiously, “and the green ones?”.

Jazz grimacing, “definitely not safe for human consumption”.

Elle nodding, still behind the couch, “those are for us Phantom’s”. Meaning that now Jazz knows Bassel’s basically going to have to deal with finding out her brother and said brothers kids are all varying degrees of dead.

Bassel eyeing the small child, “do I even want to know?”.

Elle gives a cheery, “nope!”.

Oh okay, maybe her, and thusly Bassel, can dodge that whole situation. Jazz absolutely glares daggers at Dan to say nothing. The man grins evilly but remains silent, thank zone for that.

Bassel taking a breath and slapping his legs before standing up, “okay. Alright. You lot are stranger than I expected but I really like Jazz so I’ll deal”.

Maddie looks relieved but Jack booms, “awesome! You seem like a good guy!”, and smacks Bassel so hard on the back that he gets smacked into the floor and knocked out. Dan’s bending over wheeze laughing, Elle’s floated up into the air curled up and laughing, Danny’s run over to try and help the man while also laughing, and Jazz is shaking a finger at her dad angrily.

Maddie sighs, face in a hand, “Jack”; while Danny’s hoisting Bassel up and back onto the couch, smacking his cheeks to get him to come ‘round.

When Bassel comes to he nearly screams, that Danny boy’s face is inches from his own and he’s crouched on Bassel’s chest. How much did this kid weigh??? And damn were his eyes still extremely creepy. At least he’s clued in what was wrong with him, he was uncanny, like he wasn’t quite human but close enough that it was very wrong in that base instinctual way. The teen grins, it’s like his teeth don’t fit in his mouth and the smile is just a hair too wide. “Cool, you’re awake. Was starting to wonder. Dad smacked you into the floor by accident, if you don’t brace yourself when he goes in for back pats then you’ll wind up on the floor”, titling his head owlishly, “lesson learned?”.

Bassel nodding at the kid that hasn’t moved his face out of Bassel’s, “um, yeah?”, frowning, “your guy’s dad is freakishly strong, you know that?”. The boy just shrugs before hopping off Bassel’s chest, letting him sit up and rub his head a little. “Do your parents always wear the hazmats?”.

Danny chuckles, “yup, and they will still claim they are stylish”, rolling his wrist, “they try to get me and Jazz in ‘em all the time. But hey, I’ll stick to wearing that kinda bullshit when I’m dead”.

Jazz’s head pops out of the kitchen entryway, “oh good, you’re up. You up for pie? There’s eight for some reason”.

“Are… they all the same kind?”.

“Sadly, yes”.

Even he can admit that was sad, variety was nice. But Danny pouts at her, “hey, I’m not about to discourage my personal wannabe poacher just because he doesn’t have a single creative bone in his entire metal mecha suit”. What the hell was any of that supposed to mean? This kid was probably one of the most confusing people Bassel’s ever met, Elle being a close second.

“You could at least try to convince him to try lime cream instead of him shoving lemon cream at you three times a year”.

Bassel holds up a hand, “how old are these pies?”. His girlfriend blinks like that hadn’t even crossed her mind… she might be too used to this level of strange perhaps.

Danny waving him off, “oh I helped him find a solid anniversary gift for his girlfriend, which fine was extremely explosive but eh, so he went a little pie happy. They’re two days old”.

“Oh alright, I’ll have some then”; two days wasn’t even weird. That many pies was odd and how he got them was bizarre, but not as bad as a dog walking on the ceiling or Dan-the-psycho talking about skinning animals like it was funny. Him and Danny joining everyone in the kitchen proper finally. The stove is charred from top to bottom, fires were clearly common. The fridge… was glowing? The toaster looks like it’s definitely some kind of project and not safe to use at all. The table is clean at least, besides the cookie crumbs and excessive amount of pies.

Said pie is extremely good, like professional good. Bassel blinking at it, “damn that’s good”.

Danny chirping, like actually chirping, “I know right?”; how does a human mouth make that sound???

“Then why isn’t… Dan eating any?”; maybe evil or not…

Dan flips Bassel off, grabs a slice and proceeds to hurl it at him; Bassel barely ducking in time while Jazz, Maddie, and Danny all shout, ‘NO!’. Elle is giggling though and Bassel would bet money that’s encouraging the man. Danny smashes an entire pie right in Dan’s face in retaliation, Elle smashing a slice on Danny’s head; it just devolves into a full on pie food fight from there.

Jazz crouch walking to avoid splatter while Maddie shoos the three outside with a broom, Jack following while shouting about getting the hose. Jazz putting a hand on his arm, “you good”.

“What twenty something starts a food fight!”, shaking his head, “better than throwing a knife at me I guess”.

“He usually only throws knives at Danny”.

She said that like it was normal! And not at all disturbing or something to be worried about! “He actually throws knives at people!”.

She winces like she just now realised that wasn’t okay, “right. Don’t worry about it, he might make a lot of threats or do threatening stuff but he’s heavily against going back into solitary confinement”, her huffing, “which I still think was cruel, deprivation chambers are one hundred percent a form of torture and no one deserves that”.

“What kind of jail has a freaking deprivation chamber, oh my god”. No wonder that man seemed like he had the socialization skills of a very threatening murderous brick wall.

The two stand up and they can see the three ‘Phantom’s -he’s still confused on that one but too scared to ask- getting hosed off in the front yard by Maddie; Jack’s helping by physically holding Dan up in the air and laughing. What??? Bassel blinks, “no one should be able to lift that beast of a man up like that”.

And then there’s an explosion, Bassel jerking around and Jazz just turning causally to watch purple smoke leak out from what’s labeled as a lab door. Her grabbing him with a quick, “nope”, and dragging him outside.

“What was that?”.

“Don’t know, but I’m not taking the chance that whatever their latest project is is noxious”, then shouting at her mom, “mom! Something blew up in the lab and it’s leaking purple gas!”.

Bassel very strictly remembers her not long ago mentioning that her parents weren’t big on lab safety, noxious though? These people were completely nuts. His nice, level headed, kind, smart, cautious Jazz came from this??? Yes she could be a little neurotic, especially about food and sharps saftey which he absolutely understood now, and she was a little… spooky sometimes. But still! He still didn’t believe her hair was really that orange without her dying it, even if he’d never seen proof of her doing so. And she always had on some black tourmaline or turquoise that she claimed was ‘protection’, he just thought she was being a little spiritual, now it seemed more like this ghost thing.

Danny shakes his wet hair off like a feral dog, “that’s probably my lunch!”.

Jazz throwing her hands up, “why is it leaking purple gas!”. Bassel muttering, “I think it exploding is more concerning than that”. Jazz shaking her head at him, “Danny’s favourite local restaurant has highly explosive trade marked sauce”.

“What!?!”. How was that even legal?

Danny pointing a finger at Jazz’s face as he moves to head inside to… ‘rescue’ his food, “hey, you haven’t had real food till you’ve had a Mighty Meaty Mega Nasty Melt and Phantomized Fries”, shrugging, “and I was trying to make blackened ecto-wine infused bread, for sandwiches”.

Jazz makes a face at the boys retreating back, “ew”.

Bassel blinking, “did, did this restaurant really name a menu item ‘Nasty Melt’?”. He’s revising his previous opinion, this entire town was nuts; not just these people.

Elle, very wet, bounds over, “yup! It’s called the Nasty Burger, used to be Tasty burger but someone vandalized it and there was a vote to just keep the N”, grinning, “I think it’s funny, the sauce is to die for”.

Jazz cringing, “oh no not the death jokes, at least spare my boyfriend those, ugh”. The little girl sticks her tongue out and pouts a little before running back inside at the pies. Jazz going wide-eyed and following with a shout, “oh no you better not! Mom just got you cleaned up! You put that pie down missy!”.

Bassel cautiously sticking his head in, cautious of both fumes and pie, to stare at his girlfriend holding a literal child at gun point while the child menacingly holds a pie over her own head. “um, why are you threatening a child with a gun”.

She brushes him off like this isn’t messed up, “it’s fine, there’s no normal guns in this household”. What does that even mean? Ghost guns? Is that what this is? Is that why it’s slightly glowing green!

Then Dan scares the crap out of him, speaking up from directly behind him, “I wouldn’t worry about it, she’s a terrible shot anyway. She could put a gun directly against someone’s temple and still hit a cars side mirror instead”.

“I’ve gotten better!”.

“No you have not, you managed to shoot a fire hydrant and set it on fire last time; I was impressed”.

“Shut up, Dan”.

“No I don’t think I will”.

At least Danny, who somehow got behind Elle, takes the pie from the girl and wags a finger at her, “repeat chaos isn’t chaos, it’s a pattern”.

“What if I cut off one of my hands, put it in the pie, then smack her with it? Then it would be a pie high five, not a food fight”.

Danny blinks, “I’m stealing that idea for the next time the Lunch Lady throws flaming stoves at me”.

Bassel… Bassel is not questioning that. “Kid, your mind must be a very strange place”. Sure little kids always said odd stuff, things adults wouldn’t even dream of, but this was a special brand of odd.

Dan shoving his way past Bassel, nearly knocking the guy over and giving him some major hebejebes, to go pat Elle on the head in amusement. Maddie steadying him, “you okay? And at least she’s not as bad as Danny used to be”, crossing her arms and shaking her head, “he thought blackbird pie meant to actually find birds and bake a pie with them. It was incredibly disgusting, especially because he didn’t know how to use an oven yet so he maxed out its temp for three hours”.

Oh okay, so Danny was just like that too. What was that about apples and trees? “That… probably could have gone even worse”. The teen, then kid, could have burned the house down!

The woman grumbled, “at least he’s never sucked the house into the mirror dimension, unlike someone”, as she heads in to help Jazz, Danny, Dan, and Elle actually clean up the pie mess. Jack shouting, “I said I was sorry about that!”. Danny shouting back, “at least no one’s pulled a Technus and walked the house into the ocean!”; while Bassel is wondering how the heck the eldest Fenton heard his wife’s grumbling from the other side of the yard.

There was something seriously physically off with all these people. Including Jazz. He’s feeling very distinctly reminded of a lot of things he’s just sort of brushed off or thought nothing of about her before. He used to think a lot about how vibrant her eyes were, or that her teeth were a touch sharp; nothing like the ‘Phantom’s but still. She was amazing at lock picking and could handle ‘practice’ patients others couldn’t; even if she would also ‘force’ therapy on random people sometimes. And eyeing her parents, they’re the same. Intense eyes, oddly pale almost glassy skin, teeth that feel like they’re sharp but aren’t; it’s not uncanny the way those three ‘Phantom’s were, but it’s still odd.

Dan was the worst though, easily, when the man brushed past him it felt like being cornered by massive wolf or mountain lion. If Bassel had ran into that man randomly on the street there’s no way he’d think he was anything close to human. Danny and Elle at least seemed humanish, almost human; Dan just seemed like he was playing pretend.

Bassel shakes himself off before stepping back into the chaotic Fenton household, “am I going to get pie thrown at me again?”.

Danny looks at him, “nope”, then glares at Elle, “or someone’s losing her Switch privileges”; the girl gasps in horror.

See that? That was normal. Normal punishment, normal reaction to a punishment. Perfectly normal. … Then the girl threatens to ‘liquify herself in protest’; goodbye normal, it was nice while it lasted. Either way he moves to help clean up pie a little, speaking back up, “so your bread fine?”.

“It ate itself and imploded, so no”. What. The boy grins cheerily, right too many teeth, “which means it must have tasted good, meaning I’m on to something”.

“I? Guess?”. He’s honestly just trying not to stare at the teens teeth.

…

They somehow do actually make it to the living room to watch a movie. It actually is a weird B list bird horror flic, which feels too normal now and that frankly concerns him. He’s not sure he wants the get used to this level of insanity. He loves Jazz but he is fully intending to potentially never step foot in this building again after this. How was he going to survive here for a week??? Blinking, oh right, elbowing Jazz and whispering, “hey, all the luggage is still in the car right?”. Then Dan scares the crap outta him again, “don’t bother whispering, I can still hear you”. Jazz grabs a random round thing from the floor to smack the man with for that.

Jazz leaning against Bassel again, “the longer we leave it in the car the longer it’ll take to get contaminated or destroyed, I told you not to bring your expensive computer ‘just in case you had time’ for a reason”.

Considering the amount of mess and literal exploding/imploding -again, what???- bread, he could understand that sentiment; oh and the actual guns apparently just lying around. He is very glad he listened to her, that laptop was never setting an inch of its metal casing in this building. He winces, “yeah, thanks for that”. She pats him fondly.

Danny straightens out so fast that it aggressively startles Bassel. “Oh! Think I should invite Val?”, eyeing Jazz smugly, “since someone brought their little lover”.

Jazz scowls at him, “Danny, I think Basel having to put up with my very weird family including the two weirdest members, is more than enough without adding in your trigger happy girlfriend with serious anger management issues. Especially because I know for a fact she won’t agree to leave all her weapons at home”.

Danny looks offended, putting a hand to his chest and paying no mind to the bird-related massacre happening on screen, “I’ll have you know she doesn’t even sleep unarmed, she hasn’t been unarmed since she was fourteen”.

“Exactly”.

You know what? Bassel thinks that actually makes sense. Danny was too strange to date someone remotely normal. “I’m not even surprised, you’re a little too freaky to date someone who’s just, you know, an average person. So sure, date an aspiring cop or whatever”.

Danny snaps and finger guns at him, “think more like nanobot powered teenage ghost hunter with a jet sled”.

What. Bassel blinking, “so somehow you’re the more normal one in the relationship. This girl’s in therapy right”. Jazz actually laughs at that.

Danny screws up his face, “Ancients you sound like Jazz”, looking at her, “he sounds like you”, looking back to Bassel, “and eh, my personality has more sparkles and explosions”, tilting his head, “besides, how am I freaky, besides the gremlin energy and general chaos anyways”.

Dan snorting, “and the fact that you think dumpster chic is a good thing”.

“As if you don’t wear the same”.

“Excuse you, I lift all my clothing off of the finest of corpses”.

Bassel, and Danny for that matter, gag; Danny’s seems more mock dramatic gag though. Bassel shaking his head, “add in the fact that if someone told me you were actually a doll pretending to be human, I’d believe them”.

That gets him multiple odd looks, including from Jazz. No one bothers to pause the movie even though everyone’s attention is now on him as she quirks an eyebrow at him, “what do you mean by that? Sure my little brother can move too quietly or too quickly, and his still too skinny and pale, but I wouldn’t call him possibly inhuman looking”.

Danny points at his face, “I’m pretty sure if I looked legit freaky Dash would mock me relentlessly for it”.

Bassel is baffled, are these people just… used to him so much they don’t notice? And Dan’s just looking to the side snickering meanly, Bassel almost gets the feeling the man knows what he’s talking about. Bassel looking at each of them, “you’re telling me you guys don’t notice his skin looks like weirdly glassy play dough? Or his eyes are too big? That his teeth don’t fit in his face? He’s weighs less than a bag of potatoes!”. They all look very confused and turn to stare at Danny, who shrinks down a little awkwardly; Dan’s laughing is full on guffaws now, head tilted over the back of the chair that apparently sometimes screams. When Elle points at her own face and grins too wide, Bassel nods, “yes, you too. Less than, your uh, dad but still”, gesturing at everyone, “honestly all of you have hair that’s too strongly coloured, overly vibrant eyes, and no skin texture”, scratching his head, “I thought my girl just had a spot on skin care routine and impressive hair colouring technique that she refused to share”. Jazz fiddles with her orange hair a little, making him feel a little guilty. Bassel coughing, “not that I dislike that”. Dan barks out another loud laugh.

Jazz eventually hurling another random Bassel doesn’t know what at the man, “stop laughing! Us looking weird to normal people isn’t funny! You jerk!”.

Oh okay. So they don’t know. That was weird? Does no one in town comment on it? Does no one even notice it? Was everyone in this town that strange??? Or was everyone in town strange looking themselves?

Dan huffing another laugh, “oh it very much is! Especially because I already knew and did in fact tell you morons”, waving a hand around leisurely, “not my fault you shits thought I was just being an ass”. Bassel guesses it makes sense that the strangest and most startling looking -and feeling, frankly- one would be the one to notice.

Danny looks offended, “and how do you know this? The fuck Dan”.

The man scowls meanly, it’s very mocking, “oh I don’t know, maybe because I spent ten years travelling the globe randomly killing people? Maybe that’s it? I’m the only fucker here who’s done enough travelling to tell people find this face”, gesturing at his face and smirking, “alarming, and not just because I was usually either threatening to kill or trying to kill them”.

“What? you walked around with that face?”.

“Eh I got bored of the other one sometimes”.

Bassel is choosing to ignore part of this conversation, otherwise he’s not going to get over his girlfriend being related to what’s sounds like more ‘mass murderer’ than ‘single murderer’. Not to mention that he doesn’t want to know what is meant by the murderer having different ‘faces’. He doesn’t want to know if this man’s a real life leather face.

Elle pouts, “I travel a lot, no one tells me I look weird?”.

“Sis, you’re a kid, all little brats look fucking weird”.

The little girl giggles, earning a fond but very quick look from the large man. At least it seemed like he actually liked his family maybe.

Danny gestures at nothing and scowls at Dan, “Dan, you’re a six foot eleven wall of muscle with a face that’s default setting is evil smirk, of course people think you look scary!”.

“Oh people found me disturbing when I was wearing your skin too, mom”.

“Fuck you”.

Bassel forces himself not to ask how that’s even possible. ‘Wearing the skin’ of someone who still has their skin is impossible and not to mention the size difference, it wouldn’t fit; why is he even thinking about the logistics of this?!? Ew!

Jack scratches his head, “while I can’t say I see, I doubt you’re making stuff up”, looking at Maddie, “all the ecto you think?”.

The mother nods to herself, tapping her chin, “there’s not much else it could be, especially if our oddness is merely tamer versions of Danny’s and the grandkids”.

Bassel is lost, looking to Jazz and quirking an eyebrow. She cringes, “Danny has a very intense version of ecto-contamination”. She says that like it’s not extremely weird and concerning.

Danny chuckling, “if by that you mean I’m fucking half dead then yeah”.

Jazz swats him, “Danny! For zones sake!”.

“Hey!”, Danny sticks his arms out nearly smacking multiple people, “if I’m that freaky looking then there really isn’t a point, Jazz!”.

“I hate that you’re right!”, Jazz huffing while Bassel is officially realising that everyone just shouts at each other in this house, regardless of if they’re happy or mad or excited. Her turning to him, “my brother’s a bit dead”.

Bassel absolutely squawks at that, “what”. And then suddenly the kid’s glowing and his eyes are green, the actual hell? Elle leaning forward, sticking her tongue out and pointing at her face, also with green eyes and glowing. Bassel cautiously and slowly eyeing Dan, his eyes flash blood red and yup, glowing.

Okay. Alright. He’s in a room full of glowing people, what is he supposed to do with this? He officially thinks that anyone who has ever found out someone else wasn’t quite human in a movie was way too damn calm about it!

Jazz winces a little, she can tell her boyfriend has absolutely no idea how to react to his girlfriend's glowing family members, so she pats his shoulder, “is it weird? Yes. Am I glad my brother is only partially dead? Absolutely. Don’t worry about it?”.

He blinks owlishly at her, clearly freaked out, “it’s kinda hard not to worry about my sister having dead family members kicking around and her whole family including her being contaminated by ghost stuff enough to alter their appearances”.

Then Danny goes and opens his stupid mouth, holding up a still glowing finger, “technically, Dan’s the only one that’s totally dead. Me and Elle are still alive-ish”.

Bassel blinks again and asks something that Jazz really wishes he didn’t, “and why’s he the dead one?”, in a squeaky voice; the movie is absolutely long forgotten at this point.

Dan’s smirk is flat out evil and before anyone can stop him he responds, “oh only because I got my human shit torn out and disemboweled it. Ate half my uncle and flew off into the sunset”.

Bassel leans so far away he nearly falls off the couch, “what. The. Fuck”. While everyone else, even Elle, chastisingly shouts, “DAN FENTON!”, at the smirking full ghost. The tact on that jerk! The only tact he had was evil tact, that sought chaos and destruction!

“OoOooOOoOO, full name, I’m So HuRt. I’m So UtTeRlY aPoLoGeTiC. Truly”. The ass doesn’t mean a damn word of that and he wants them to know it. He smirks, “if we want to play that game I can just show him what I really look like”.

Danny standing up and pointing at Dan, “do that and I’m souping you”. Dan puts an offended hand to his chest and scowls deeply.

Bassel sputters, “I am never asking you people questions again, oh my god”.

Jazz can’t even blame him, even if she knows he eventually will ask more questions about, well, their everything. It was hard not to after all. She rubs his arm, “you really shouldn’t think about it too hard or worry, yes we’re used to it and know the admittedly weird science behind it”, cringing, “even if apparently only one of us was aware none of us looked normal”.

He blinks harshly, swallowing, “uh huh. You guys have a bathroom, right. Because I definitely need to decompress by staring into the mirror for a concerning length of time”.

Not good. Jazz wincing and getting up, “I’ll show you”, then pausing and eyeing Danny, “is the bathroom actually clean”.

Danny tilts his head and grimaces, also not good, “maybe don’t open the lower left cupboard”.

“Right”. Damn it, Danny. Pulling Bassel along as they head upstairs, “okay so listen to him and don’t get curious. He might have spilled something and not cleaned it so it’s gotten moldy. Or he shoved goddamn bandaging under there. Or there’s a ghost trapped in the cabinet”.

“I… kind of hate that I’m hoping it’s the first one”.

“Well considering it’s Danny, it’s probably the second. He gets injured a lot and has a non-existent biohazard safety mindset”, gesturing at the open bathroom, “anyway, here”.

… “is Danny why the shower floor looks bloodstained, wait never mind I don’t want to know”.

She gives him a supportive shoulder pat as he goes in and close the door almost hard. This… this has not gone well. At least he hasn’t ran out screaming? Yet anyways.

She heads back down stairs, pointing at Dan, “I’m blaming you, because it is your fault”, pointing at Danny, “and yours, because you somewhat made him”.

“Hey! He made himself!”.

“And he is you so my point still stands”.

“Jazz!”.

Jazz doesn’t really care that being reminded of that fact bothers her little brother, him and his off shoots have basically been terrorising her boyfriend. He should be bothered! “I am gonna be so mad at you if he decides this is too much”. At least everyone winces apologetically, except Dan who just glances away which was the closest he usually came to a ‘sorry’.

Jack rubs his neck, “sorry, Jazzy-pants. Want us to bring your guy’s stuff in?”.

She scowls, she’s not going to effectively trap her boyfriend here by doing that, “considering I don’t even know if he wants to stay here now, no dad”. Her dad winces further, good.

She sighs, flopping back down on the couch, “let’s just rewind and finish the movie. Like normal people”. Dan snorts at her and she glares bloody murder at him.

Okay. So. His girlfriend’s family are not ‘weird’, rather they are actually insane and physically impossible. Which is extremely not okay. But he likes Jazz, a whole lot actually. A ton even. She was odd but not insane or too physically impossible; and she didn’t live here, he wouldn’t have to see these people -especially Dan- often. A handful of times a year at best right now. Hell she might be annoyed enough to ban that Dan guy from being within ten feet of him; Bassel would not complain about that. Her parents at least seemed harmless, over enthusiastic and strange but acceptable. However he knew for a fact that him liking or not liking her parents didn’t mean much, she’s made it clear that she doesn’t think too highly about their opinions. Her brother though, he knows she loved that kid, sometimes she made it sound like she was more his parent than their parents were. Said brother was half freaking dead. Because apparently ghosts are a real thing and can just walk around the living like it’s nothing… and also apparently being half alive was a remotely possible thing. Also Danny, a teen, has kids. Two kids. One who’s clearly older than him and committed a likely extremely disturbing amount of murder.

Well…

They’re not Jazz’s kids. So he, maybe? won’t have to deal with them much. Jazz seemed surprised they were even here after all. Alright. Okay. He can deal with this.

That’s frankly a lie.

But he can at least manage and pretend he’s cool. Then, when they go back to uni he can have a mild freak out in his dorm room and their relationship can go back to sort of normal. He is absolutely going to ask about her ‘ecto-contamination’? later though, and if those stories about her ‘communing with ghosts’ were actually true and was she just talking to her brother or was she also talking to other ghosts.

Pushing himself off of the sink he’s been leaning on and slapping his cheeks, “you got this, man”. His reflection does not copy him.

What the actual hell is wrong with this place? Besides the apparent portal to the afterlife in the goddamn lab. How did these people break a mirrors ability to mirror? Shaking his head and pulling out his phone, okay he’s looking these people up, like he goddamn should have already.

…

Okay yeah they just are fully public with the ghost hunting thing huh? That must have been fun to grow up with. Jazz did say she tried to separate herself as much as possible from them as a teen, this is absolutely why. And apparently her brother saved an entire species of gorillas? By… climbing in one’s cage… so he’s just always been crazy and reckless, got it; but hey, at least the gorillas aren’t extinct now.

Bassel’s not surprised that looking up Elle gets him nothing, she’s a young child after all, but Dan? For a supposed murderer there isn’t even a single result about him. No wiki article, no victim impact statements, no mugshot, no public court files, no morally questionable serial killer podcasts, nothing. Weird. But he’s absolutely not asking the man about that, because he doesn’t know what kind of nightmarish response he’s going to get. Considering his age -aka, being literally older than his freaking parent- it might be some sort of time travel thing, which he mildly hates the entire notion of, especially since he’s not going to claim he knows what’s possible or not now.

After all, his reflection is still just ‘standing’ there staring at him while he’s been pacing back and forth staring at his phone. He’s not googling his girlfriend of course, that would be creepy, but what about the ‘Phantom’ thing? That… that gets a lot of results. Freaky ones.

…

So…

Apparently…

This town has a goddamn dead superhero? That’s a freaking colour inversion of Danny with green eyes and also named Danny? Which there is no way that’s ’just a coincidence’. So Jazz’s brother is kind of dead, has an ‘arch enemy’, and is almost definitely some kind of dead superhero. Cool. That’s… that’s not completely insane at all. He officially feels like he’s in a knock off marvel movie with a secret identity reveal and everything.

And oh hey! Girl in red on a jet sled, Danny’s girlfriend, also definitely a superhero. Cool. This is Hell.

… Based on all the photos and videos of full blown super powered fights this town might actually be part of hell or an afterlife full of apparently violent dead people. No wonder Jazz was leery of him so much as visiting her home town, nonetheless her parents. A google of the stats shows that these ‘ghost attacks’ happen multiple times a day and it looks like they sometimes did a concerning amount of damage. Also the mayor is that Vlad guy? The evil uncle god father arch enemy guy. Why? How even? … It was probably mind control. Oh he kind of hates this.

Also though, how the heck was this town and this whole ghosts and a death dimension situation, not known about world wide?!? If it’s some kind of government suppression of information he’s going to scream; not actually scream just… internally scream. You’d think this would be something that’s in national news, an actual real life superhero and villains, another dimension, the afterlife… Okay perhaps being super public about an after life could cause some issues among religious groups.

Then his reflection growls at him.

Nope.

He’s not dealing with that.

He’s out of the bathroom in two seconds flat, practically rushing down the stairs, wheezing. Everyone, but Dan, is on the couch again apparently finishing the bird movie; Dan is just outright nowhere to be seen which he is a-okay with. “My reflection growled at me”. Jazz buries her head in her hands, this was obviously not how she wanted this first meeting to go; it wasn’t how he wanted it to go either, but he didn’t know it going this absurdly was even possible. Meanwhile Maddie and Danny shout, “JACK!”, clearly thinking the mirror is his fault. Wasn’t something about him going to the mirror dimension mentioned earlier? or is he just starting to come up with his own crazy possibilities.

The large man runs his neck, laughing, “whoops! Must have grabbed the wrong mirror!”.

“Wrong? Mirror?”. Damn right, he said he was done asking these people to explain literally anything.

Bassel eyeballing Jazz’s dad as he gets up and begins to move upstairs, “ah yeah, Danny-boy head-butted the old one so it had to be replaced, musta got the new mirror and the dimensional mirror mixed up!”.

Why is this kid head-butting mirrors and why does this family just have a ‘dimensional mirror’? Ugh, Bassel’s poor head. Jazz apparently has these same questions, or one of them at least, as well as the willingness to ask it. “Little brother? Why were head-butting the mirror? Young Blood isn’t trying to give you another nervous breakdown, is he?”; Bassel can practically feel the worry in her voice.

Danny scowls dramatically, “I’m fine, Jazz. No need to psycho babble me, Ancients. Skulker just decided that tooth brushing time was good head shooting time, I confiscated his right arm for that and he didn’t get it back for three days”, the kid looks proud of himself, “he hasn’t attacked me in the bathroom since”.

Bassel blinks, slightly horrified, Danny what? stole some… ghosts arm? as punishment? “Uh, I’m pretty sure a supposed superhero teen is not supposed to go around stealing people’s limbs”. Jazz groans very loudly and very tiredly.

Danny laughs, “oh! You looked me up huh? Don’t worry, I only took his mecha bodysuits arm, not his actual real arm”.

That’s… stranger but better. Then Elle pipes up, “even if he had it wouldn’t matter! See-”.

“NO!”.

Bassel is not going to ask why Danny just grabbed both of her wrists and glared at her. He has absolutely learned that if someone, or everyone, shouts ‘NO’ at someone else then he absolutely did not want to know why. Instead he watches his girlfriend get up and smile very awkwardly at him, he’s unpleasantly aware of the fact that her teeth were probably whiter than they should be, “you okay? Are we good?”.

“Absolutely not, but yes, yes we’re alright. I am absolutely not visiting here frequently though. And if Dan ever shows up anywhere near my dorm I’m hitting him with a frying pan immediately”.

She actually chuckles at that, “that’s fair, I tried to shoot him when we first met and tried to hit him with the creep stick the second time”. He’s not going to ask what a creep stick is, but he’s glad she had the sense to hit someone who’s clearly dangerous. “But call if he does do something that stupid, which he shouldn’t if he knows what’s good for him. He will only laugh if you hit him with a frying pan”.

Maddie shaking her head and getting up, “I’ve done that a time or two, he has a habit of trying to sneak food or add poisons just to see if he can get away with it”. Bassel doesn’t have words to express how concerning that is. “And I’m sorry this hasn’t been the best impression, it’s also unfortunately not the worst either though”. Oh. This could be worse? How? Blowing up the house? Hospitalising him? Probably!

Elle sticks a star sticker on him, “congratulations! For passing the weirdness tolerance test!”, looking back at Danny, “am I allowed to try and bite him now?”.

“No, you little shit”, Danny grumbling, “teething preteens are the worst”.

Wasn’t teething supposed to be something babies did? He wants to ask but nope, he’s not going there.

Then Jack’s voice startles him a good bit, “Your reflection must have been staring at you for a while there, buckeroo! Had to really shake it to get him to go away”.

Man was Jack ever a loud guy. Bassel chuckling awkwardly, “yeah I was a little preoccupied and choosing to ignore the insane broken mirror”.

Dan has apparently come back, “ha! You’re lucky your reflection didn’t try to reach through the mirror and strangle you”.

Bassel is not asking. Bassel is not asking. Bassel is not asking. But note to self, do not ignore sentient reflections that move of their own accord. Jazz even shakes her head, “okay that wasn’t the smartest decision you could have made, but I get it”, and she gestures at the couch, “want to finish the movie? Then we can get our stuff in?”.

He sighs, tired, “yeah, yeah, that’s… that’s good”. Just let everything else be normal, or as normal as it can be with the literal walking dead being in the room. Elle grabs him and Jazz before dragging them to the couch, the child is way too strong.

Jazz can practically feel the relief in her bones when they make it through the rest of the movie without anymore incidents, everyone getting up and Jack grabbing a scowling disgruntled Dan to help bring stuff inside. Dan grumbling, “I feel the need to point out that Danny is just as strong as me even if he looks like a damn beanpole”.

Danny shouting, “you mean I’m stronger than you! And hey! I’m lean!”, after them.

Bassel quirking an eyebrow at Jazz, her shaking her head with a small smile, “ectoplasmic energy counts for more than physical appearances with ghosts, my little brother might still be a child and thusly hasn’t hit his growth spurt yet, but he can absolutely take his kid down a peg or two”. And he absolutely loved to pester Dan about that fact, while Dan loved to pester Danny about still being ‘puny’.

Dan growls from the garage doorway, “You lot would be dead otherwise and you know it”.

Jazz rolls her eyes, “maybe at one point but we’ve grown on you, don’t lie mister”. The full ghost only grumbles incoherently in response.

Of course her dad tries to open the trunk before Bassel can unlock it, resulting in him picking the car up, Dan having to catch the car when the trunk opens taking dad’s grip with it. Dan chuckling, “normally I’m the one who’s into picking up vehicles”.

Dad chuckling himself, “yeah and you usually throw them when you pick them up!”.

Bassel shakes his head as the full ghost sets his car on the ground fully, “do not throw my car, do all of you just have super strength”.

Jazz facepalms when her dad tilts his head like a puppy, “little cars like these aren’t that heavy though? I could have lifted this back in my college years even”. Bassel looks baffled when she glances at him.

Jazz sighing at her dad, “Dad, your parents were ghost hunters too, you’ve probably been contaminated your whole life, like me and Danny”.

“Oh right! Ha! I forgot about that! Silly me!”.

Bassel shakes his head in disbelief but takes a few of his things instead of letting the two much larger men carry everything. Jazz makes zero attempt to help Dan with any of it, her sticking her tongue out him instead. He snickers at her, “really taking the higher road here, aunty”.

“Like you’re one to talk”.

“The high road and I are incapable of coexistence”.

“Exactly”.

At least it seems like Bassel is fondly amused with their bantering, instead of disturbed, as they move from the garage and up to her old room/the spare room. Her eyeing her mom while the three men set things down in the room, “so where are Elle and Dan staying?”.

Dan scoffing from inside the room, “you say that like I sleep at all”. She studiously ignores him.

Her mom humming, “why don’t you ask Elle? Because I’m not sure”. And Elle pops out from behind Maddie, “we’re not. Grandma Pandora’s supposed to give me some sword fighting lessons!”, pouting, “and I gotta practice if I ever want to beat pops someday”.

Danny can be heard shouting, “like that’ll ever happen!”, from somewhere; and the little missy is off like a rocket after her dad probably to tackle him.

Dan growling, “if you try to make me organize your guys shit I’m going to intentionally remove every screw, battery, and third paper from everything I can get my claws on”, before Jack laughs and pushes the ghost out of the room. Dan eyeing Jazz, “and if you’ll remember, I’m not ‘allowed’ to be out past sunset”.

Ah right, she did actually forget about that. “Serves you right”. As he heads down and back to the living room he sticks his tongue out at her, it absolute is forked this time.

Bassel popping his head out of the room, “you want your studies and research notes left on the night stand? And remind me why we’re staying inside this strange house instead of a hotel, there’s… mold with eyes I think, in the corner”. Her wincing, “because the hotel has mandatory waivers and doesn’t allow Fenton’s”, then nodding up at him, “yeah my stuff’s fine there, don’t put anything in the drawers, sometimes stuff just vanishes inside for an unknown reason”. Based on him ducking back in immediately, he had in fact put some stuff inside a drawer and the sigh of relief and her dads light hearted laughter tells her that whatever it was was still there. At least some things were going right.

And then it promptly goes horribly wrong as soon as Bassel comes out to go back downstairs with her. A massive black star speckled ghost phasing their way down through the goddamn ceiling, Bassel going stalk stiff while Jazz dashes up the steps with him in her grasp and ducks both of them into the bathroom. Bassel sticking his head out of the bathroom while crouching just like her and whispering, “was that thing a freaking ghost? What the hell, babe”.

Her basically hissing at him, “yes, and a very powerful one”. Bassel grumbling, “I think today hates us”. She whole heartedly agrees.

Meanwhile the ghost is shouting, “PHANTOM! I request your aid!”, and from her and Bassel’s bathroom vantage point it looks like the ghost just got punched in their masked face -based on them being pushed back out of the kitchen entry way with a hand to their face- by Dan, who stomps out snarling, all fang but thankfully still human-looking, “wrong one, you sleepy ass”.

Starry sleep ghost… starry sleep ghost… ah right! Their name was Nocturne right? Her little brother did try to get her to remember the names of the more important ghosts after all. “Nocturne?”.

Oh she shouldn’t have said anything. The ghost looks to her and ‘brightens up’ in that cruel looking way many ghosts do, them promptly stretching and looming their body up and head over her and Bassel, “ah, young Phantom’s brethren. Do you know as to where I can find the one that will not attempt to eat beings of ancient malevolence?”. Bassel is shaking and she’s worried he’s going to pass out.

Dan rams a clawed hand into the ghosts body, “I’m true malevolence, mother fucker. Get back here”.

Thankfully Danny -in his ghost form unfortunately- pops in before Dan can do something stupid, “Dan! Leave the freaking god of sleep alone! Oh my Ancients!”. Him pointing at Nocturne’s face as the ghost moves down to him completely ignoring Jazz and Bassel now, “what the zone, Nocturne? You can’t just bust into my lair core whenever you feel like it just because I don’t get enough damn sleep”.

The ghost holds up a finger, “ah but that is hardly the reason for my arrival, I have seemed to ‘fucked up’, as you would say, to an unfortunate degree”.

Danny sighs and sags his entire body, floating in the air, “ugh, what did you do?”.

“I acquired-”.

Danny interrupting immediately, “You mean stole”.

“I acquired some eternal gardenia from FungalLung, they have now beset my domain with pink dew and blood blossom seeds”.

“Why the actual crap would you steal from that split personality psycho? There’s a reason no one goes near that kids garden”.

“I had a need for such things, as someone-”.

“Oh no, no blame game bullshit outta you, shit ass”.

“Our king needs to be-”.

“Needs to be allowed to have a bit of goddamn fun and some breaks, that’s what he needs. Now play guide, you reckless starry blanket”, Danny eyeing Dan, “Dan. Let. Go”.

Dan flinching and doing as he’s more or less commanded to. Scoffing, crossing his arms, and moving back into the kitchen with a tense, “whatever”.

Bassel wheezes when the ghost and her brother disappear through the floor, Jazz standing up fully and pulling him along with, “great. Just great. Love it. What next? An invasion?”.

Elle hums, “I mean, I could ask mythic grandma if she’s up for one”.

Jazz and Maddie both pointing at her aggressively with matching, “absolutely not”’s. Making the girl giggle. Jazz looking back to Bassel, “I promise you’re okay and not about to get attacked. Are you feeling okay?”.

“I am ten seconds away from wanting to lay on the carpet and scream cry into it, and I am positive I need a shock blanket”.

At least she doesn’t even have to ask her mom to get one for her to rush off and do so, Jazz and Maddie herding him into the spare room wrapped up in a Fenton ghost proof shock blanket in record time. Jazz nodding softly at her moms apologetic look and gesturing for her to leave them be, dad following his wife out with an exaggerated wince.

She shuffles up next to him and rubs his arm from over the blanket, effectively side hugging him, “okay so you’ve properly seen your first ghost, and they were unfortunately one of the non-human ones; but, Nocturne is quite safe actually, more a neutral being than malicious”.

He nods a little.

“They do tend to harass my brother a lot since they care a lot about sleep and he doesn’t get nearly enough of it”, shaking her head and laughing lightly a little, “and yes, what Danny said is true, they are for all accounts and purposes the god of sleep”, sighing, “nearly every god worshiped through out history is real and, yes, a ghost”.

He swallows, pulling the blanket around himself more, “that’s… kind of insane and a lot”.

Jazz nods more so to herself, she had a hard time swallowing that herself as a teen, “I know. I still find it a bit baffling myself and it is extremely strange actually meeting any of them”.

“At… at least you actually seem weirded out. Everything… else doesn’t seem to be, uh, strange, to you”.

“I’m used to it, more than I’d really like to be. I definitely wi- would prefer if my family was more normal, even marginally. And I’d rather my brother not be wrapped up in all this the way he is. Even Dan and Elle often feel that way, even if they wouldn’t exist if he wasn’t involved so heavily in everything”.

“That’s, concerning, actually”.

Jazz pats his arm some, “they haven’t had the best existences”.

Dan then startles her, voice coming through the door, “and there’s the simple fact that everyone would be better off if I never existed”.

Jazz sighing to herself and looking to the door, “Dan that’s not true”.

“And that’s crap and you know it, don’t bullshit me Jazz”; it sounds like he’s stomped off. She’s… going to have to talk to him later.

Bassel shivers, “he’s got a lot of… issues, huh”.

Jazz sighing and nodding, closing her eyes, “if people tell you you’re a monster enough that becomes all that you are and healing becomes nearly impossible”, shaking her head and looking at him, he’s watching her intently, “Elle and Danny are good for him but his emotions don’t work like they’re supposed to because of what happened to him. He’s also partly being pissy because Danny genuinely scolded him. Anyone exerting their power over him tends to rile him up, whether he wants it to or not”.

“Part of him being a, uh, ghost?”.

She nods, “yup. Though I doubt talking about Dan is great for you right now”.

Bassel looks away and stares forwards, “no, probably not”, shaking his head and readjusting into the blanket, “… that, ghost, called your brother a king, didn’t they”.

Jazz shrugs, “he tires not to let it get to his head”.

He shakes himself a little, shaking his head slowly side to side, “yeah no, I’m not pushing. Though is that why he feels like death, the pressure of death at least, when he looks all black and white”.

“I… if he feels like that I’ve never noticed, sorry. But I was living with him when that change happened so it very well might have happened slowly, over time”.

“I guess that makes sense, it almost felt hard to breathe when his voice got… thick? at Dan”.

Jazz blinks, nodding immediately, “ah that’s actually a specific power he has. He mostly just uses it to get across that he’s not playing around, that he’s being serious”.

“Effective”.

Jazz nods slowly, letting him just breathe for a bit. She guesses she can understand how her brother can be a bit much, and it was definitely for the best that Bassel found out before a ghost crashed the party that her brother was a ghost himself. Then he speaks up again, “you’re entirely alive, right? I know you have a lot of spooky rumours that follow you and, like I said, you do look off. So, you’re not a ghost, right?”.

Jazz is tempted to laugh, instead she just shakes her head, “no, not even a little bit”.

“Good. That’s good”.

She just hums, nodding to herself. Waiting for him to work through his own head. Hearing about ghosts and seeing one were very different things, and an Ancient was hard to run into no matter what Danny said. She swears it’s like he forgets that he is in the same sort of classification as them. But at least it seems like Bassel’s handling it better than many do, better than most non-Amity Parkers at least. And then her dad goes and bangs the door open, nearly making Bassel fling himself off of the bed, “I made hot chocolate!”.

“Dad! He’s trying to wind down! Not get the zone scared out of him!”.

Her dad wincing, “ah sorry, Jazzy”, holding up the two cups, “hot chocolate?”, and tilts his head to the side.

Jazz sighs, side eyeing Bassel to make sure he isn’t going to freak out further before getting up and grabbing the cups, “I know you mean well, dad, but you’re still a very loud, very large, presence”.

He rubs his neck and laughs awkwardly, tilting sideways enough to look at Bassel. Giving her boyfriend a thumbs up, “you kids get settled, no funny business”.

“Oh my zone!”, she shoves him out with a foot, barely managing not to spill, and kicks her door shut. At least she manages to give Bassel the hot chocolate gently, “that man, I swear”.

Bassel genuinely laughs though, staring at the hot chocolate in his hands, “that was so utterly normal dad behaviour though, it’s grounding actually”.

Huh. Guess he actually did a good job. “Then I owe him an apology”. She makes her sip on the hot chocolate -that’s already been adequately cooled, thanks dad genuinely- loud, purely to encourage Bassel to drink his.

He notices the cooled temp too, “he waited till it was cool but not too cool, huh?”.

“Yeah. He’s a bit of a fool and reckless but he cares a lot and has a good heart that’s as big as he is”.

Bassel humming and they sit in silence for a bit until, “is your brother going to be okay? I know I called him a superhero and google seems to say he is but…”.

“Oh superhero is very accurate by human standards, but by ghosts he’s basically normal. Behaviour wise at least. Most of the time”, shaking her head, “he’ll be fine, even if it sounds like he might wind up with a case of Blood Blossom poisoning again”.

“Let me guess, ghost poison?”.

“Yup”.

“That’s absurd”, and he sips at his hot chocolate some, “he’s not going to vomit on the floor is he?”.

Okay she can’t help but laugh at that, shaking her head, “no, no, more coughing fits, aches and pains, and muscle spasms. That’s only because he’s alive enough to not be fully affected”.

“Hence why this powerful ghost came for his help?”.

Jazz nodding, “hence why a powerful ghost came for his help”, tilting her head, “though if I remember right pink dew is a psychedelic, so he also might be high when he gets back”.

“Oh god, I don’t think that kid should ever do drugs. Being near your entire family is like being on drugs”, sticking his arms out of the blanket and gesturing the mug around, “if I woke up in the morning and was told this was all one big fever dream, I’d believe it”.

“That’s understandable. Which is why the rest of the world considers this town a hoax”.

“Yeah I was wondering about that”, he downs a considerable amount of his drink, “you’d think the whole world would know about this. But I guess that would cause an uproar”.

Jazz sighing, almost annoyed, “yeah, the government does try to keep a lid on everything”.

“God damn it. Seriously? Ugh. I hate that I called ‘government cover up’ as the why”.

“There’s more to it but the rest is a lot weirder to the point where even I don’t want to think about it. It’s actually in the category of too weird”. Her little brother mind wiping an entire planet after fighting a reality controlling clown that turned roads into rollercoasters and made him fight a fire breathing clown and a lava pit full of rubber ducks, was so many steps past extremely strange.

Bassel full body cringing, “then I definitely don’t want to know. I do want to know if the stories about you communing with ghosts in your dorm are true though, and if your dorms is ‘contaminated’”, looking down at the cup, “and we should thank your dad for this. It was pretty good”.

Jazz blushes a little, “they’re true, even ghosts need therapy and I don’t need my license to give it to them. Sometimes it is just Danny though, and I’m good about keeping on top of decontamination, so don’t worry about that”, then eyeing him, he still seemed a little out of it and shocky but he was definitely better and really there was no normalising or rationalizing her family, “we’ll go down and thank him if you’re alright”.

He nods down at the cup and to himself, then looking at her with a nod and shaking smile, “I’m going to be digesting all of this for days at least, but I’m okay, babe. I absolutely hope today was the weirdest day of this week visit though”.

Jazz hums, standing up and offering him her mug-free hand, “well Dan will avoid Danny for at least a full day and Pandora will keep Elle busy for at least three; so there won’t be their chaos for a little while. As for literal gods showing up, that happens so seldom that I genuinely believe that Johnny’s Shadow might’ve snagged us some bad luck on the way into town”.

“Johnny’s Shadow?”.

Oh maybe she shouldn’t have brought that guy up. Wincing, “um, Shadow is basically Johnny’s pet or familiar? And Johnny is a ghost I may have dated? Once? He wasn’t genuine about it, and I was a dumb teenager who feel for his stupid motorbike and bad boy vibes”.

He actually snickers at her, before laughing fully and having to put the mug to the side to avoid spilling it, “I! Can not believe how stereotypical! That is!”, shaking his head and wheezing, eyeing her, “straight laced, honor role daughter falls for a motorcycle riding bad boy who’s all charm and bad intentions”.

She smacks his arm, “don’t be mean”, she doesn’t mean it at all though, “and Danny actually dated his girlfriend, she was trying to make Johnny jealous”.

“So what I’m getting here is ghosts are seriously just goddamn people, some are just very extra”.

“That’s one way to put it, yeah. Or they’re more like animals”.

Bassel blinks as they shuffle out of the room, “oh thats right, the green dog, where’d he? go?”.

Jazz snorts, “Danny sent him back to, well, the other side as it were; since mom was trying to taser him”. He was always so protective of that dog, even if said dog caused so many issues.

“That did seem a bit excessive”.

“Oh absolutely not, that dog is an actual menace”.

“I’m just going to take your word for it”.

They pop into the kitchen, she’s not surprised both Dan and Elle are gone. “Thanks for the hot chocolate, dad”. Bassel nodding, “yeah, it was really good, thank you”.

Her dad gives a goofy thumbs up, “glad you liked it!”. And she thinks everything might just be okay.

Bassel’s not really sure what to do about all of this. What he does know is that he’s better off not thinking about it and not trying to actually figure out what to do about all of this. He knows Jack Fenton cares a lot, makes good hot chocolate, he’s loud and big, and sure he’s a little off and too strong but he actually is like a puppy. Maddie Fenton was a lot softer, a lot more aware that her family was odd, more socially adept, but she was also more threatening and quick to fight; strange and off as well but she came off as more normal than her husband. Danny was… a nightmare, full stop, he’s a little worried what kind of friends the teen had that could put up with him. He was borderline actually insane, but from what Bassel saw on his google trip he also was a genuinely good kid. Bassel’s fairly certain that even if the world turned against him he’d still fight to save it; that took a level of sheer determination and heart that Bassel probably didn’t have himself. Elle was just a weird kid with too lax and strange of a parent, she might stand a chance at being almost normal someday. Maybe. Dan was an utter psycho though, he honestly can not think of a redeeming quality for that one. Doesn’t even want to try. Because excusing a murderer was not a line he feels like toeing. Jazz says Dan wouldn’t hurt any of them and does love them, but he’s not sold on that; it seemed more likely that she just didn't want to admit that the man was simply an awful unkind corrupt person.

And Jazz?

Well, his opinion honestly hasn’t changed. She’s still awesome, beautiful, caring, neurotic, a worrier, and slightly strange. He wants to think she’d be the same, though maybe less strange, even if she had a perfectly normal and average family. He wasn’t about to let odd family break them up, even if it was the kind of odd normally reserved for tv shows and the weird comics you find at truck stops that are filled with plot holes and questionable narrative direction. Either way he’s sticking around, so long as he can actually physically survive a week in this place.

Him watching as Danny, covered in some kind of clear goo or slime, kicks open the lab door with blown out pupils and a gnarly rash on half his face. “I! Never want to see! Another! Fucking! Person with me damn mushroom eyes again! I feel! Disgusting! Bleh!”, sticks out his tongue and then faceplants onto the floor groaning; the slime stuff splatters around a bit.

Bassel blinks, “um, should someone drag him up to the bathroom or something?”. Then the kid sprouts another set of goddamn arms and hands out of his back and proceeds to dragging himself across the floor and up the stairs with them. “Never mind, what the hell. I never want to see that again”.

Jazz sighs, rinsing out their cups, “he’s definitely high, don’t touch the goo trail”, moving to get the biohazards mop and bucket, “Danny can be a bit of a jerk with the body horror stuff but he usually reserves it for people he knows can handle it”.

“That’s… good. Dear god”.

And then… Danny??? runs up the lab stairs, “did anyone see a body of mine”.

Jazz throws the mop at him and yelps, “what the Zone! Danny?”, making faces at him and pointing at the stairs that still has a slime trial on it, “I have some serious questions”.

He blinks at her, “rogue duplicate”, and runs towards the stairs.

Jazz throws up her hands, “why would you use a power you suck at to deal with drug flowers!”.

“Because I didn’t want to personally deal with blood blossoms!”, the kid slips on the slime and smashes his face into the stairs, “fuck!”, then scramble crawls up the steps.

Bassel grabs the mop back up, ignores that it’s a weirdly hot pink colour, and hands it off to his girlfriend, “so that was a thing that happened”.

Jack starts wheeze laughing, sitting down at the kitchen table, “I hope his duplicate at least had fun!”.

Maddie grinning at the man, “I’m sure it did, Jack hon”.

Everyone, including Bassel, ignores the strange thumping going on upstairs as well as the… arm that comes hurling down the steps and dissolves into green goo against a wall. Staying here was going to give him some extremely unique and unfortunate nightmares, wasn’t it? At least now he gets why his girlfriend had such an easy time writing behavioural papers, she had multiple subject studies. He might even be able to bang out a paper or two on human adaptability after this. He absolutely was not doing any papers on people growing arms out of their backs though, that would get him sent on a grippy sock vacation.

Danny pops back in looking disgusted, “it’s dealt with”.

Maddie eyeing him cautiously, “is the hall way intact?”.

The boy sags and gives a truly crushed, “no”.

At this point, Bassel thinks that’s frankly expected. He also thinks that this household is cursed. At least Jack bounds up the stairs to start fixing the hallway and Bassel legitimately doesn’t care to check out the damage. Truly. Instead he’s just going to sit down with his girlfriend and, like her, mildly regret him coming and going into this ‘cold turkey’. Next time she warns him about something, he’s going to demand an explanation instead of brushing her worries off.

End.

Promtps: Jazz brings a date home for the first time. She didn’t exactly brief them on her family’s whole ghost thing. Antics ensue. All the Fentons are a bit more ghostly than they know The Phantom Clan (Dan, Dani, and Danny) is awake and about to make it everyone's problem Jazz has a reputation at college for being spooky, it doesn't help that she communes with ghosts. Uncanny valley is strong with Danny, most Amity Parkers don't realize it, but any time anyone from out of town sees him, they're in for a spook. Nocturne fucked up BIG TIME and now needs help from the ghost kid.

[sleepyfan-blog]

Author’s Note: this is mer-Hagiel's debut in Celestial Seas! I hope you enjoy. Next

Tagged: @bleedingichorhearts @egrets-not-regrets @the-pure-angel @kit-williams

Warnings: threats against a person's life, non consensual drugging, kidnapping

Summary: Hagiel overhears one human threatening another, so he (figuratively) steps in.

“Please someone… Anyone, Help me!” a terrified voice called out above the waves that Hagiel had been swimming in. He had been chasing after a shoal of fish, hunger gnawing at his belly.

Hagiel paused, looking up and at the huge pleasure cruising ship from where the terrified call had come from. It was a beautiful night, Luna shining full and bright against a backdrop of stars. Two people stood on the uppermost deck of the ship, which was over two hundred feet from the water's edge.

One of the people had their back pressed against the railing, their hands raised defensively in front of them. Another plea issued from their lips “PLEASE! SOMEONE! ANYONE! I-”

They abruptly stopped speaking as something metallic flashed in one of the hands of the other baseline human, who all but purred “Scream as loud as you like, no one will hear you. Everyone else is either sleeping too heavily to wake… Or they know what is to happen, and agree with me that you need to die.”

“But… But why? I've… I've never done anything to anyone to be killed for it! At… At least, I don't think so…” the terrified baseline human stuttered, sounding and smelling as if they were on the verge of terrified tears.

Hagiel swiftly ascended to the top of the lightly lapping waves before switching on his ability to swim through the air, moving as silently and quickly as possible, while doing his best to keep silent, so as to not alert the aggressive human.

“You are the source of the bad luck that everyone on this ship has suffered! I don't know what sort of ancestral curse your family had, but I know it's your fault this trip has gone to utter shit! Your death will end the bad luck plaguing the rest of us, and the ship will finally be able to move without more bullshit happening!” The aggressive human hissed, the metallic something in their hands flashing again.

“What? You want to kill me because of a superstition? Luck doesn't actually exist! Good or bad luck is just random happenstance, we as humans assign something to in order to try and make sense of an inherently random universe!” The terrified human retorted, equal parts taken aback and confused.

“Hah, you just don't believe in luck, because you're inherently unlucky. Probably because you're cursed, or have spited whatever greater powers exi- holy shit!”

Hagiel had made it up to the topmost deck of the cruise ship, and knew that he would cut an intimidating figure to the threatening baseline human. His gold armor gleamed in the moonlight, and his powerful tail swished back and forth a little to keep him in place. He activated his external vox and ordered “Human with the knife, slowly set it down and place your hands behind your head. Human who is being threatened, are you injured?”

“Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit!” The threatening human stuttered over and over again, jaw slack and eyes wide “It worked!”

Wait. What?

“Wh-what?” The terrified human asked, echoing Hagiel's own confusion.

“NOW!” The threatening human human yelled. Dozens of tiny, sharp objects bit into Hagiel's tail, causing the astartes to drop several feet in surprise - and he struggled as foreign chemicals began to burn their way through his body. The world around him was getting darker and Hagiel struggled to breathe as he activated his emergency beacon located inside his armor - a warning to the younger brothers who were frolicking just out of sight of this massive ship.

“You were bait. Astartes are known to swim these waters and most tend to have heroic streak, that will have them intervene if one of us squishy humans are under threat. Keep quiet about this, or you will share his fate.” The threatening human crowed victoriously as the darkness overtook Hagiel's senses.

[sage-nebula]

Maria has Good Days and Bad Days when it comes to her chronic illness, and she can tell well enough for herself which day is which. Unfortunately, her grandfather feels that he knows better than she does, and when he uses his authority to determine that against Maria's own feelings and wishes, it falls to Shadow to help her feel better. [Pre-Canon, hurt/comfort]

“And here, here, look—look at all the different fish and plants that live in the reef! It’s a completely unique ecosystem, and some of those plants aren’t actually plants at all—they’re animals!”

Shadow leaned closer as Maria jabbed her finger against the glossy photo in her book, tilting it his way so that he could get a better view of it.

“If this is all underwater, how did they take these pictures?”

“Well, there are robots that are capable of diving to great depths underwater, and those robots often have cameras attached to them,” Maria said. “But the pictures in this book were taken by an actual person in SCUBA equipment using a waterproof camera.”

“What’s SCUBA?”

Maria’s eyes lit up, her cheeks flushed with excitement.

This was not an usual occurrence aboard the Space Colony ARK. There were days, of course—Bad Days, as Maria called them—when Maria was either in medical examinations all day, or Worse Days when she felt too ill to get out of bed. But on Normal Days or Good Days she was free to roam about the Colony, and on those days she and Shadow could do just about whatever they liked so long as the Professor didn’t deem it too dangerous for Maria’s health and didn’t need Shadow for anything else. There were any number of games they liked to play or things they could do, but Maria’s absolute favorite was when a new shipment of books came in from Earth; she would comb through them to excavate any and all about geography or culture, and then read through them with Shadow by her side. It was educational, she said, and important groundwork for when she was cured and finally able to go to Earth herself. There was so much to do on Earth, it was important to know all about it before she got there so she could hit the ground running.

Today they were in the Professor’s lab, seated on a squishy loveseat in the corner that the Professor put there specifically for Maria while he poured over vaccine samples from Earth at his work bench. Maria had her newest book, Twenty Thousand Wonders of the Sea, spread open across her lap, and a half-finished healthy smoothie on the little table beside the sofa.

(Shadow himself wasn’t so neat; he had dropped his empty banana peel on the floor. He made a mental note to pick it up before the Professor noticed later.)

[Continue reading on AO3]

[sabakos]

Not to the OOP's point bit I'm realizing many of my ttrpg experiences have been shaped by playing almost exclusively with physics and CS majors. I think we had more fun than most people do but I understand some people might not enjoy "creative" solutions.

But anyway for people who do prefer this play style, in 5e this sort of thing doesn't even need house rules, just variants. I'd probably interpret this as grapple check to try to strangle the person that's very probably going to fail if your squishy wizard's caster level is low. Or since it's a cantrip maybe make you use your strength modifier (lol). And like any other "crit fishing" attempts I just... wouldn't let you roll for it if only a 20/1 was going to be a success? So this isn't going to break the game. You try to force choke the big bad. They laugh at you and ask you if you find their lack of faith disturbing. One of their henchmen looks down at his shoes and shakes his head. Roll for initiative.

This isn't even a dnd problem though, more rules-lite games are necessarily going to be more driven by creative bullshit and house rules, while something like Pathfinder will have an existing rule in place for it, and either way it's easily resolvable without retricting your players or punishing them / shaming them for creativity.

[newstepping]

"will you marry me?"

octavinelle crush headcanons

interrupted make-out session

the woes of a jealous fish

dwarf octopus!mc, yandere

cakes octavinelle has given to yuu + cakes yuu has given to octavinelle

pregnant!mc headcanons

a merfolk's melody, yandere + nsfw - I, Floyd, Jade, Azul, Epilogue

azul ashengrotto

prince charming's kiss

the reversed cinderella tale + art

and while you sleep, i'll be scared

crowley find a way back home, stays in twst

why not me?

ingame voicelines

housewardens try to woo you but the first-year rizz is unmatched

housewardens forget that they are your boyfriend when they are drunk

you feel a lot like love

the princess treatment

voicelines about you

courting, pining, or flirting?

"no, wait, can't we handle this another way? don't leave me!", yandere

not your fairytale monarch, yandere

you fall asleep in class

the key to my heart

househusband azul

i've become the villain's lover!

casual touches

he's a ten, but he...

yan!azul with a soulmate s/o, yandere

my last name belongs to you

you make them plushies

"don't you know it's bad luck to see your bride before your wedding?"

"without you, i am nothing. i am empty", yandere

when he sees me AKA the fic with the moon goddess story

yuu's food truck

+++

incorrect quotes - I

+ nsfw +

aphrodisiac + breeding, nsfw

jade leech

the reversed cinderella tale + art

the look on your face thrilling, and i can't take my eyes off it

breaking up/yuu moving on

why not me?

insatiable

the princess treatment

voicelines about you

courting, pining, or flirting?

teeth

the key to my heart

eel toofies

lovesick + first date, yandere

fantasy + lazy morning, yandere

launch our love

the beatrice letters by lemony snicket, sad poems interpreted as happy

are you lonesome tonight? + not so lonesome tonight

jade narrating stuff yuu does

"don't you know it's bad luck to see your bride before your wedding?"

the private (not) thoughts of a moray - I, II, III, IV, V, ...

dancing with the tweels

eel wedding! inspired by (x)

eels are cowards w/ their crush

+++

incorrect quotes - I

floyd leech

the reversed cinderella tale + art

breaking up/yuu moving on

why not me?

waking up with floyd leech

the princess treatment

voicelines about you

courting, pining, or flirting?

the key to my heart

lovesick + first date, yandere

my last name belongs to you

are you lonesome tonight? + not so lonesome tonight

"i swear, if anyone lays a hand on you, i'll cut their arm off."

squishy squishy baby fishy

"don't you know it's bad luck to see your bride before your wedding?"

dancing with the tweels

eels are cowards w/ their crush

+++

incorrect quotes - I, II, III

1 (you are here!) - 2

[luckyqueenreign]

The Story of Us - is a four-part series that will delve into MC (Gemma) and Suresh's relationship pre-villa.

If you missed Part One, last week you can read it here.

PART TWO: The Night It All Ended

"How dare you? and how could you? Will you only feel bad when they find out?"

Tag List: @squishy-noodles @hi-im-karla @kunepie @brasister @kvngdomheartz @katsie @whati390 @smexilexi420 @viperidae94 @misterytull @theesocialintrovert @kiwi-tai @ordoesshemouthfuckyouforever @kikithegr8 @fujihime-litg

Super special shout out to @0shewrites0 and @future-mrs-suresh who both read this story 87 times and sent me notes and made it so much better. Love you both 🥰💖

NC-17

Suresh was fuming. His knuckles turned white as he gripped the steering wheel, angrily driving away from Gemma’s apartment. Suresh knew Gemma had been taking her parents’ separation hard but he had tried everything he could to make her feel better. 

Over the past two weeks, she ignored his advice, flinched at his touch as if she were some wounded animal and he could feel her slowly pulling away from him. But tonight had been the last straw, this was the fourth time this week that she had canceled plans without warning. 

I feel so fucking stupid. Four times. FOUR TIMES. 

At least the other three times she texted him before to let him know she wasn’t up for it. 

It wasn’t fair. Tonight was going to be special. He had planned everything out, he bought her a new dress that he knew she would love, booked an impossible reservation at the restaurant they had been trying to get into for months and he planned on asking her to move in with him tonight. Everything was going to be perfect. But then it wasn’t. 

FOUR FUCKING TIMES. How are we supposed to move in together when she keeps pulling away from me like this? 

Heat coursed through his already tense body as he noticed his phone light up with Gemma’s gorgeous smile, calling him for the third time since he’d left her apartment. He didn’t want to see her face, hear her voice tonight. He ignored her many attempts, turning his phone on airplane mode. There would be no talking tonight, only drinking. Lots and lots of drinking. 

Suresh walked into The Social, a swanky cocktail bar that he frequented often with his colleagues after work. He stormed up to the bar, not looking at anyone, distractedly and very loudly moving the empty chairs at one side of the bar. 

FOUR TIMES. 

“Rough night, Mr. Fraser?” Gabi said with a flirty giggle. 

He looked up at the waitress who was eyeing him flirtatiously, pressing her tattooed breasts together while she leaned over the bar. 

“Gabi, I don’t want to talk about my night,” he said looking at her pointedly. 

“I think I have a way of making it better,” she cooed, turning around, grabbing a glass and pouring Irish whiskey into it. “Here,” she said, biting her lip and grazing her hand on his as she handed him the glass. 

For weeks he’d enjoyed a bit of innocent flirty banter with Gabi, but tonight was different. He craved the attention she was giving him, he desperately needed the flirty looks and repartee after being discarded by Gemma for weeks. They played a game of cat and mouse with each other as she gave him shot after shot. 

“Ok handsome last one,” she rolled her eyes playfully, handing him a shot glass overflowing with amber liquid. 

“W-wha you mean? You cuttin’ me off?” he said, slurring his words. 

“No babe, we’re closing,” she smirked, while placing his bill in front of him. 

“BOO!” He dropped his wallet, keys and phone on the bar, fishing out his credit card from his wallet and handing it to Gabi. 

“Suresh you’re not planning on driving home are you?” 

“A course! I’m fiiinnneee.”

“Suresh no, you’d immediately crash into the first light post. There’s a couch in the back office, I’ll call the owner Tommy and let him know you’re sleeping it off. Come on.” Gabi walked over to Suresh and grabbed his things off the bar top and grabbed his hand while he stumbled next to her as she led him to the back office. 

They walked into the dimly lit office and she pointed to the old black leather couch that had seen better days. 

“Home sweet home,” she said, eyeing the fish bowl centerpiece brimming with condoms on the black IKEA coffee table in front of the couch. 

He looked around the room, following her eyeline and looked back at her. She looked up at him with a delicious smirk on her overly glossed lips and a hungry gaze in her eyes. Gemma hadn’t looked at him like that in weeks, all he wanted was to feel wanted, to feel desired by his girlfriend. Looking at her now in his drunken state, her face somehow morphed into Gemma’s right before his eyes. 

Gemma? 

“You want me to stay? You seem like you could use some company tonight.” She moved closer to him, stroking his arm. 

Before he realized what was happening he was kissing Gabi furiously. His large fingers twisted in her short red hair, bringing her closer to him. Gabi’s hands roamed his body unbuttoning his shirt, revealing his tight abs as she made her way to his belt buckle. 

“Holy shit,” she gasped, palming his dick through his underwear. She began to rub his outline up and down before dropping to her knees and releasing his dick, taking him in her mouth. 

He groaned as he fisted his hand in her hair and thrust into her mouth, making her gag. Any gentleness he usually reserved for Gemma was gone. Gabi didn’t seem to mind and continued to move up and down his shaft, circling his tip with her tongue. Without breaking contact he dug his hand in the bowl next to them, spilling condoms all over the floor, haphazardly ripping one open with his teeth. He grabbed her hair again this time pulling her off of him. 

“I’m going to fuck you,” he growled, rolling the condom on. 

She wasted no time taking off her top, hiking her skirt up removing her lacy red thong. He grabbed her roughly, spinning her around and pushing her forward against the desk. Suresh came up behind her gripping her hips roughly as he positioned himself between her legs, he thrust into her without warning. His thick, long dick filled Gabi completely, causing her to scream out in sheer pleasure. Suresh thrust into her hard and fast, his hands moving up her body to roughly grab her breasts. Gabi continued to scream at the top of her lungs. 

He kept thrusting into her harder and faster, gripping into her hips so hard he knew there would be bruises in place of his fingerprints tomorrow. 

“I’m coming…I’m COMING!!” she screamed, as her walls tightened around him. 

He felt his body growing in anticipation and he came with her. The room was silent outside of their heavy breathing. Suresh pulled himself off of her, removing the condom and crashed down on the couch.

“Oh my god Suresh, that was incredible,” she sighed blissfully, as she cleaned herself off and adjusted her skirt. 

He nodded at her but said nothing. 

She looked at him seductively, as she strutted over to the couch, with just her lacy bra and skirt. She laid next to him and took out her phone and started to take some pictures of the two of them. 

“Add your number to my phone,” she held out her hand, handing him her iPhone and he saved his contact information. 

“I’ll send you these later so you don’t forget this night,” she said. 

Suresh nodded and soon fell into a drunken, fitful sleep. 

As he stirred awake, his brain felt entirely too large for his skull. His head throbbed, his mouth felt dry and disgusting and he desperately needed water, but he couldn’t move because Gabi was still cuddled close to him. 

Shit shit shit. Suresh what the fuck did you do? 

He didn’t want to wake her and have to face the consequences of his actions. So he got up slowly and moved methodically to his clothes that were thrown in a pile on the ground and started to get dressed. 

Where the fuck is my phone? My keys? Shit Gemma is never going to forgive me for this.

He saw his phone, keys, wallet and belt piled together in a corner and he ran to them.

“Where’s the fire,” Gabi giggled. 

“I have to go. I can’t be here. I’m- I’m sorry. Thank you for letting me crash.” Suresh ran like a bat out of hell from the office, leaving Gabi alone. 

I cheated on Gemma. I cheated on the literal love of my life. I ruined everything because of one fight. 

He turned his phone back on from airplane mode and he saw all of the missed text messages from Gemma. 

G: Babe I’m sorry you’re right…come back please 

G: i love u resh i didnt want to go out but i still wanted to see you tonight i ordered from all your favorite places 

G: Babe please don’t be like this. I’m sorry i have been pushing you away but i promise you that im done. I dont want to lose you

G: I’m going to make it up to you

FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. Make it up to ME?! After what I’ve just fucking done. 

The realization of what he did hit him like a ton of bricks. 

I have to tell her. I can’t keep this from her. But if I tell her she’ll leave me. But if I don’t tell her and she finds out, she’ll definitely leave me.

Suresh ran through the options in his mind. Gemma was fragile right now, her parents’ separation had taken a toll on her. Telling her that he cheated would only further hurt and break her. He didn’t want to be the person that caused her more heartache. She didn’t deserve that. Not for a mistake he made. But hiding this from Gemma would mean holding onto the biggest secret he’d ever had in his life. He knew the guilt would eat at him. But he deserved that. He deserved to feel the pain and guilt of hurting Gemma, something he wished he had never done. 

If I tell her she’ll be devastated. I can’t hurt her like this. I’d rather suffer than have Gemma hurting for one day. 

He rushed into the shower when he got home, scrubbing his skin raw wanting to get any remnants of last night off of him. As the water poured down around him, Suresh couldn’t hold back the heavy sobs that escaped him. The guilt of what he had done eating away at him inside. 

She’s never going to forgive me for this. 

After changing into a t-shirt and lounge pants, Suresh grabbed his phone finally ready to call Gemma. As he waited for the first dial tone, he heard someone entering his apartment, he looked up and there she was. With red rimmed eyes like she’d been crying all night or for the greater part of it. She ran over to him and wrapped her arms around him. 

“I’m so sorry babe,” she said, burying her face in his chest. “You don’t deserve how awful I’ve been to you the last few weeks.” She looked up at him. “Have you been crying too?” She asked looking deep into his own red rimmed eyes.

FUCK. Why did she have to apologize to me? I don’t deserve any apologies right now. 

“A little. I don’t want to lose you Gem.” 

In that moment her lips pressed into his, the kiss was soft but charged with a longing that Suresh had always loved. Suresh pulled back from the kiss, his forehead touching hers and he looked deep in Gemma’s eyes. 

“I don’t want to lose you G…” he hesitated as if he was going to say something else, his expression unreadable. 

I’m not going to lose you Gem, I can’t. It’s never going to happen again. I promise.

Gemma smiled at him and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling herself closer as she crashed her lips onto his again for a scorching kiss. 

“You don’t have to worry about that. I’m not going anywhere,” she said softly.

[iamgroundzero]

Plotted Starter for @dekucando

One of his first memories, outside of those of being surrounded by and then taken away from his family, was a pair of giant green eyes staring at him through the invisible barrier keeping the water in. The next was being caught in a strange thing and thrown into another, much smaller, squishy barrier. The giant-eyed monster kept squishing it, but it was... careful. He appreciated that, because he had no idea what the hell was going on. He’d seen others taken by giant-eyed monsters, and he had no idea what was going to happen to him. Was he going to die? Did the bigger monsters take him away from his family just to send him off to be eaten by this little monster instead?

But, no. This one just... stared at him. And... smiled. And talked. Boy did this little monster have a lot to say. But he just listened, and when he was finally freed from the squishy-barrier into a big pond surrounded by solid-barrier, he realized he... wasn’t going to be eaten. At least not yet. He swam around, swam into a hiding place and... waited.

Over time, he learned a lot of things.

The little monster’s name was... Izuku, and he called him... Bakugou. That wasn’t his name, not the name his parents gave him, but it... was a good name. He supposed he could be Bakugou for this... human. That was what he was, apparently. A human. Humans were strange things, they didn’t have any scales and they had weird wiggly things where their tails should be. He knew what arms were, his parents had had them. He’d get them, too. Later, though. For now he was just fins and tail, even on top of his head.

They couldn’t talk to each other, not really, but when he finally stopped hiding every time the other came into the room, finally realized he really wasn’t going to get eaten, he tried in his own way to communicate. It took a while, a few years maybe, for Izuku to realize that Bakugou could understand what he was saying and was responding in his own way. Mostly because Bakugou was trying to communicate like he would with his siblings, like a fish. And Bakugou grew in that time. He lost his baby scales, and his arms started coming in. He looked less like a fish and more like a tiny human from the navel up, he supposed, but with a proper tail instead of those weird... wiggly things. 

He still hid whenever Izuku’s mother came in, he didn’t really trust her at all, but Izuku was safe. He wasn’t going to try eating him. But Izuku had to leave a lot, go to school he said. And then Bakugou was alone. He didn’t like being alone, he liked when Izuku was around, even if he’d started acting out a little around him. Like spraying him with water when he was in a bad mood, usually after he got home from school--in retaliation for him being gone forever. Today he was waiting, just waiting, with his little arms and the large fins still growing from them resting on the edge of his tank, his tail swishing lazily in the water. He’d gotten bolder about putting his head out lately.

Judging from the sun he could see through the window, Izuku should be back soon.

[kayla-crazy-stuffs]

Unnamed mer crossover part 4 (Discontinued)

Okay so, @squishys-soft-stories and I decided to discontinue this crossover :') we are sorry if you enjoyed it and wanted to see more for it but this is the last part that we are going to post for it, that also is unfinished...

But anyways.... Enjoy :']

2K words

TW: Safe/soft vore, unsafe vore mention, fear of being eaten (I think that's it, tell me if I missed some warnings)

Wrote by @kayla-crazy-stuffs

It was around ten in the morning when the boys finished getting ready to head back to the beach as Bad and Skeppy would be arriving soon to spend the day there. "So, are we ready to go?" Quackity asked as he held up the bottle where Sapnap was in. "Yeah, but do you really have to put the mers in bottles?" The human Sapnap commented.

"Of course, not everyone knows that mers exist, so we have to keep them hidden. Luckily, people don't go to the beach we go to, because they don’t like it." George said, carrying the bottle of Dream. The humans Dream, Sapnap, and little George and Karl nodded in understanding.

They began to walk towards the beach, arriving in less than twenty minutes. Bad and Skeppy were already there waiting for them. "Hey, Bad, Skeppy, we hope we haven't kept you waiting too long." Quackity said. "Don't worry muffinheads, we just got here too." Bad answered with a smile.

“Then we should start putting the things down and getting the fish out of the bottles.” George said, unable to stop himself from laughing when he said the last thing. “Hey! We’re not fish! We are mers!” said Dream and Sapnap at the same time once they opened the bottle caps. “It’s basically the same, dude, you’re literally half fish.” Quackity replied chuckling.

:]

Wrote by @squishys-soft-stories

George was a bit too curious. He was surprised that he had made it this long without taking action. He slowly and silently walked his way up to the fish-Dream, and placed a finger on his tail. It felt weird, stiff yet slippery, and felt nice to the touch. And maybe he shouldn’t have touched his tail, because now he was wrapped in the arms of a very wet mer. “Gogy!” Dream chirped. “Hey Dream.” He deadpanned. “I missed you!” “We saw each other all day.” “But I couldn’t hug you!” George audibly sighed. “Why are you like this?” He asked. “Because I like hugging you.” Dream responded. “Please. You are getting my clothes wet.” “Nope!” Dream cheered in response. George just sighed, and looked Dream in the face, before turning away quickly. He hated how much the mer looked like his Dream. He turned his attention to Bad and Skeppy, who were happily messing around in the water. “Do you want to go play with them?” George asked. “Yeah.” George smiled, as he slipped one hand underneath the mer’s tail, and slid his hand around his back, before lifting him up. George walked with him for a little, before dropping him in the water. “There-” George said, before he was dragged under with Dream. George came back up, only seconds later. “Dream! Don’t do that!” George shouted as he grasped for breath. He hears Dream’s little laugh, and watches as the mer started to swim around him. “And that’s enough.” George heard a much louder Dream speak, as he was pulled up out of the water. “Hey!” George heard the mer speak in retaliation from his new perch atop Dream’s shoulder. George rolled his eyes and stuck out his tongue as a taunt. George smiled as he saw Dream reach up to pat his head, before he was suddenly lifted upwards by nimble fingers, and held tightly in the air. “George!” He heard Dream shout.

:]

Wrote by @kayla-crazy-stuffs

Punz was sitting calmly on some rocks below a cliff, smiling softly at seeing how the mers and humans were all together having a good time, or so he assumed. Everything was quiet until he saw how another pelican hybrid quickly approached the group of humans and mers, snatching a small human, something he had never seen before.

Punz didn't waste a second and quickly headed towards the other hybrid, who had flown high enough that the humans wouldn't catch him. "Hey! What are you doing? Stop it!" he told the hybrid. The other with a mocking smile answered him. "Oh no, not even kidding, this little snack will satiate my hunger for a while." Punz could see the human squirming as he tried to free himself.

"It's a human, not food. Give him to me, now." Punz said in a serious voice. The other pelican only scoffed more. "The loser trying to be the hero? How nice. Do you want the snack? Over my corpse." Punz's eyes widened as the hybrid began to lift the small human over its mouth, while the human yelled for him to let go.

Finally Punz pounced on the other pelican, causing him to drop the human, which was thrown upwards, falling shortly after. Punz pushed the hybrid away from him, still keeping a tight grip on him and narrowly managed to catch the human in his mouth, sending him into his neck pouch. "Stupid asshole! That was my lunch! Now because of you I have nothing to eat since the ones below have slipped away!" He yelled at Punz looking down and back at him.

The hybrid growled angrily, pushing Punz out of his way and starting to fly away from him. Punz heaved a sigh pulling the human out of his bag. "I'm sorry, about all this…" he said softly before going down to the sand, placing the human on top of it, feeling several angry looks on him.

:]

Wrote by @squishys-soft-stories

It all happened in a flash, and Karl couldn’t process it. Karl watched in fear as George was ripped off of Dream’s shoulder, and fought over by two pelican hybrids. Karl was only able to process the sudden swallowing that had taken George, bringing back memories that he longed to forget. He felt Sapnap’s fingers wrap around his now shaking form, and tranced his gaze to the pelican, now gently setting George on the sand. Karl frowned, as he noticed Sapnap’s hands started to cover himself more. It was probably for protection, but he wanted to help comfort George. He tried to fight the grip, but that only seemed to cause the hand to tighten. “What the heck!” He felt Sapnap’s voice vibrate across his chest. Karl pushed harder, only to be pushed back in response. He couldn’t move his limbs now, so he turned to using his head. “What do you mean, ‘what the heck’? I just saved him!” Came a voice, although new and unfamiliar. “We already deal with enough issues as it is. We do not want him traumatized.” He heard Dream speak, slightly muffled. “He was safe! I can tell none of you have taken animal biology because you don’t know that pelicans have a neck pouch!” They spoke again. “That’s enough.” Karl frowned as he heard Bad speak. He hoped that he wouldn’t do anything terrible. “Hey! Let go of me!” Karl saw light out of the corner of the eye. He slowly turned his head so that Sapnap wouldn’t feel the motions. It was just big enough to fit his foot through. He struggled against the grip of Sapnap, moving his leg so that his foot was suspended over the hole. He slipped his foot inside, and in one motion, he kicked Sapnap’s hand, and pushed against his chest. Karl should have thought it through, as he fell downwards. “Karl!” Sapnap shouted as he swiftly scooped him out of the sky. “Stop-” “No, you stop.”  “Karl, I do not like this attitude-” “Sapnap, I know more about this kind of thing then you would ever think about. Had they actually put him in his stomach or whatever, it would’ve taken longer to bring him back up.” Karl could see the realization smack him in the face as most anger left him. “You couldn’t have told us earlier?” “You had my face pinned to your chest. I couldn’t speak, even if I wanted to.” “Oh.” Karl rolled his arms, before turning to the pelican hybrid. “Can you tell me what you did?” He asked. “I couldn’t keep him in my hands, so I sent him to my neck pouch.” They took their free hand and pointed to their neck. Karl nodded. “All you have to do is give people a little bit of understanding and a chance to explain, and everything is clearer!” Karl said with a cheer. “Are you okay George?” Karl turned to see George, who was shaking slightly, but seemed to have calmed down, if only a little. “That was something I never want to experience again.” George deadpanned. Karl nodded. “I don’t know how you put up with that.” Karl shrugged in response.

:]

Wrote by @kayla-crazy-stuffs

Bad sighed softly feeling how everyone was beginning to relax a bit about the situation.  He looked at the hybrid who seemed to be shifting slightly uncomfortably in his place.  "Now that I think about it, your wings look different and smaller than what they should."  Bad commented, looking at the pelican hybrid's wings.  He glanced at him nervously before looking away from him.  "Uhh… I'd rather not talk about it…" Bad hummed in understanding.  The human Karl clapped his hands to get their attention.

 "Okay, how about you stay with us for a while? We planned to eat soon."  The pelican looked at him doubtfully.  "Uhh- I don't know… I don't think I should… I can clearly tell that there are several who are still scared of me while others are probably still mad about what happened…" Tiny Karl and George looked at each other for a moment before looking back at the hybrid. "You can stay, we don't mind." Karl said with a hand on his chest. “Uh… I don't think I-” “Please????” They both interrupted at the same time. The pelican looked at them uncertainly for a moment before sighing. “Okay…” once he said that Quackity reached for his arm guiding him to where he could sit.

"You can sit here." he said as he sat the hybrid down between him and Karl. “Uh… okay.” he answered by looking slightly at the human Dream before looking down. "Don't worry about Dream, he's just a little upset, nothing more." Quackity said, smiling slightly. "So, since you're a pelican, I guess you'll eat fish, right?" added Skeppy, who was lying on Bad's hand. The hybrid hesitated to answer for a moment before slowly nodding his head. “Alright then, we have like five fish that I caught a while ago in that bucket.” Bad commented, pointing to a nearby bucket.

The hybrid glanced nervously at the bucket before quickly shaking his head. “No-… No need… I- I'm not hungry…” he finally blurted out. Mer Dream frowned looking at his brother. “Do you think he's okay? Pelicans usually eat a lot and he doesn't seem to have eaten anything…” he whispered to Sapnap. "I don't believe you're not hungry." Skeppy snapped seriously. “You pelicans tend to be very hungry, your kind usually tends to eat about 4 kilograms of fish. It is impossible for you not to be hungry in the early hours of noon.” he continued to be watched by everyone except the hybrid, who was looking down at the sand.

“You can't lie to us, you know, we can tell you're hungry. Why do you say that is not true?" he added a little softer. “Do you have a problem maybe? Because if they gave me free food, the truth is that I would not refuse to take it. So you must probably have some problem.” Mer Dream said. The hybrid pelican shook his head. “I-I don't have a problem…” “That's yet another lie. I've noticed that every time you lie your wing feathers ruffle, before when you talked about protecting George, you had them fine, but when you started stuttering from the lies you started telling, they got like this .” Quackity commented as he pointed to the hybrid's wings.

:]

Wrote by @squishys-soft-stories

Karl didn't like being right. Something had seemed off about the pelican hybrid when they started talking, and now he knew. He wanted to free himself from Sapnap's grip and comfort their new friend, but he couldn't. Sapnap was just too strong. "Please don't lie. I know from personal experience that lying gets you nowhere. I don't want to force any information out, but don't try to hide it." Karl spoke.

[twilight-resonance]

Seawater Sick

This whole “being sick” thing is reminding me that we really are just fancy bipedal fish that need to be generally kept wet at all times. When you’re not sick, you generally remember that your eyes need to stay wet; but really it’s also your nose and your mouth and your gullet and all the squishy parts inside. Water alone won’t do it either, no; if you drink too much plain water it starts to burn in ways that start you wondering whether that’s what holy water is supposed to feel like to the living dead. No, you need salt water - broth - because we once came from the sea. And now you’re sick, and now you remember.

Anyway, it’s not that bad. This is only the second time I’ve been sick since the pandemic, and it’s definitely just a bit of a cold. Snuffling, a low-grade fever, the faintest hint of aches. But mostly the snuffling. We went through a whole box of tissues between the two of us yesterday. It’s on the way out for both of us - Hearthsnail’s a day, maybe a day and a half ahead of me since he got it first. I suppose it’s nice to have the overlapping-but-not-identical sick periods if we’ve got to be sick at all, because it means that at least one of us is functional at a given moment and can take care of the other. It was a bit all-encompassing the way that sick does during the worst of it, but seriously for the most part it’s been very mild. 

Made some progress on catering. Sent messages to three more caterers yesterday, and two of them have responded saying they’re available and can drive that far. Third hasn’t responded yet, but there’s still plenty of time. Now comes the part where we have to actually figure out what we’re going to make... Which will be an adventure. So far we’ve possibly come up with the idea of cauliflower sliders, and I want to do strawberry-basil or blackberry lemonade. Otherwise... well, we’ll see.

Playing saboteur right now with the various board game arena folks. It’s nice having that sort of mastery at something. I tend to find with board game arena games you have to be watching what happens to keep up with it, because the interface isn’t always clear; but I remember finding at some point - probably during COVID - that I was able to keep tabs on what was happening in a given saboteur game just from the log, and that’s even with all the signaling that goes on in that game. Or at least with the way it gets played there. So right now I’m enjoying tabbing back and forth between that and writing, because that’s one of the few things I can do that with.

It’s a nice day out. It looks and feels like a day that’s summer turning into autumn rather than spring into summer... All dim and overcast, and just the tiniest little winds ruffling the trees. Feels like home. It must not just be the changing of the seasons, then, that gets me - but change of the seasons, if that makes sense. A disruption in the normal pattern. Always gets my creative juices flowing and helps me get a leg over on the will to do something with it. 

Had a thought about RPGs earlier, or more specifically what makes them work for me or not. We’re playing in Hearthsnail’s BIL’s game right now, and on the one hand it’s really nice to be playing something at all rather than GMing; but on the other hand, there’s an itch it’s really not scratching for me. One part is the roleplay element - I want deeper roleplay than we’ve been doing, but that’s not going to happen - group size, medium, etc. I concluded some days ago, though, that the main issue is actually game world depth. More even than character RP, I really want a world that I can sink into and inhabit and get to know over the course of years. Which is not going to happen with BIL as GM, because he likes to switch up worlds and settings fairly often, and that’s just a fundamental conflict that will always be present. It’s a good thing to know in general, though, and as I said, it’s nice to be playing anything at all. (I wandered off and started to work on other things, so I’m going to take that as a sign and end this now. Anyway, this is Sick Edition TM.)

[undertale-writing-times]

❓

Any and all versions of Dream and Nightmare~

I have too many versions of these dudes lol

Nightmare: I think it would be funny if once every year he gets turned into his passive form. It's very painful and he has never told anyone.

Dream: He has an aura around him that make people feel good whenever they're around him. It's one reason why he has a hard time fully trusting people.

Passive: He had a pet kitten once but the villagers took it away from him, and he never saw it again.

Oxi: He can open his sockets, his real eyes, but if he does that anyone who sees it will go blind themselves.

Coma: He loves little cute things. He won't admit it, though.

Gloom: He smells like granny smith apples

Envy: He is the baby brother! :D

Pride: He works with Books, and has broken quite a few laws but he sees himself as the hero.

David: He's, shockingly, really old! He's over 300 years old but looks 20ish and that's because of the magic that he did.

Wraith: He's able to take over people's bodies and mind, though normally dislikes to do it.

Glaurung: As a gold dragon, he feels as though he's better than a lot of the other dragons but he normally doesn't bring that up.

Xiuhcoatl: He never had a hoard, and the dragon boys like to make jokes about how they're his hoard cause of him collecting them.

Light: He loves to watch humans swimming around and doing their own things, sometimes when he's bored he would drag them under the water then swim away. He never drowns them or anything, just messes with them.

Deep: He is very glowy and it is affected by his emotional state. If he's happy, the glows stronger if he's scared it gets brighter as well but flashes and sad makes it less bright and blah blah blah.

Daydream: The goop that covers his body, if someone touches it, makes them feel happy but if they eat it, they get put into a strange trance where they smile and can't stop smiling and everything seems amazing and perfect to them. It's kinda scary.

Delusion: Delusion is scared of thunderstorms

Solar: Solar is afraid of the dark! He just feels like there's something there all the time.

Nightfall: He is amazing at lullabies and hearing him sing will cure anyone of their inability to sleep for at least the day.

Lamp: He bumps into people a lot cause his eyesight is very bad. He's really soft though so most don't mind.

Shade: He is attracted to light more than his brother, and it's a good way to calm him down.

Mallow: He never talks about his brother, even though everyone knows that he has a twin. It's the only time that he ever gets mean. If he gets brought up.

Glacial: His goop is soft and squishy but if it comes off his body it freezes the second it comes off. It's very cold.

Cuppy: He smells like freshly baked cupcakes! The scent/flavor is different to everyone.

Ber: He has goop that has the same touch and feel as strawberry milk and isn't as goopy as the others.

Toxi: He's the most goopy and drippy, leaving a small trail as he walks. His eyes are always spinning.

Minty: His least favorite holiday is Christmas.

Hots: He sets things on fire if he loses his temper, and it's really annoying.

Sticks: They love apples and wants to have one at least once a day! Their favorite is granny smith.

Drippy: Because he's made out of water, sometimes he likes to have fish inside his body and watch as they swim around.

Ichor: Even though he's so edgy and 'aggressive' if he sees blood he will faint. (yes, ironic, given he's made out of it but it's different!)

[gendafluid-goblin]

Silly Octopus pt2

THIS IS A FIC ABOUT AZUL HAVING AN ED PLEASE DO NOT READ IF THIS WILL TRIGGER OR MAKE YOU RELAPSE!!

Mostly a filler chapter of them learning how to function on land as they switch over and is pretty lighthearted before the really bad stuff comes

CW for pt2: very beginning Floyd talks about Azul’s body and pinches him. nothing else unless you want to include the tweels eating octopus dishes in front of Azul?

Azul was not left alone for the next 9 years. The twins still came around and hung out and talked with him thinking how they could trick people into making deals with Azul. They then took the carriage ride to Night Raven College and all three of them were put into Octavinelle. They all struggled with the switch from tailfins and tentacles to legs. Luckily NRC gave all merfolk students some classes before the real school year classes began that eased the switch a bit.

“Aww Azul, look your waist isn’t as chucky and squishy anymore.” Floyd complained, poking his friend's stomach and hips. Azul hadn’t actually seen what he had looked like with human features yet but was relieved to know he appeared thinner.

“Oh! Nevermind you still have some squishy parts here!” Floyd gave a wide smile pinching Azul’s stomach and sides quietly laughing to himself. And there went Azul’s confidence in his new body. He didn’t know why he had an expectation of looking thinner on land. Even though he wasn’t in his merfolk octopus body he was still slow and bigger than the other kids probably. Floyd eventually got tired of pinching and pulling on Azul and found something else to mess with and Azul spaced out debating if he wanted to look into the mirror at himself now or not. In the end he decided not to look at himself in fear of what exactly he would see.

Azul and the twins slowly made their way towards the room where all the merfolk got training and a rundown of NRC and the land. While the twins were having much less of an issue walking down the long hallway, only having to take slower shorter steps, Azul was holding onto the railing screwed into the wall to support his wobbly legs. After a few minutes which felt like forever for Azul they arrived at the training room. About 14 other students were already in the room sitting and chatting with each other. With no railing in the room Azul started to panic and sat in the seat closest to the door. Jade and Floyd joined him at the table smiling to each other as Azul looked around the room to see if he recognized anyone, to see if he would also be tormented at this school even in his new form. Everyone sat and talked except for Azul who was too focused on trying to come up with ideas on how he could be on the top of the school. He checked his watch impatiently. Class should’ve started already, maybe Night Raven College wasn't as good as a school it claimed to be if the teachers couldn’t even show up on time. Right after that the thought popped into his head there was a loud clap followed by a deep laugh.

“Welcome to Land Training little fish!” a very muscular man walked into the class wearing a red athletic jacket. Azul already felt dread just by looking at the man with his over the top loud voice. “My name is Coach Vargas. I’m the Physical Education teacher here and I'm going to teach all of you,” he paused and looked every merfolk student in the eye “how to get strong and buff!” Mentally, Azul had slammed his head against the desk several times.

“Um..We aren’t here for PE sir. We just need training on how to move around and adjust to our human bodies.” a random student spoke up to the buff teacher.

“I know that!” Vargas boomed and laughed to himself “But you need muscle for that don’t you!” the way he said it wasn’t actually a question but what he viewed as a fact. Azul had decided he’d rather teach himself at this rate because this oaf knew nothing. Class had droned on about the basics, left foot then right foot and repeat followed by some leg exercises to strengthen the muscles. It was time for lunch so everyone in class had made their way towards the school cafeteria. Everyone got food they had picked out from the lunch ghost and found places to sit and eat.

Azul picked and poked at his food but hadn’t yet taken a bite. “He looks like a lobster” Floyd had laughed with a mouth full of food. Jade nodded in agreement that their teacher did in fact remind him of a lobster from the Coral Sea. Jade and Floyd talked while eating, well Floyd talked WHILE eating but Jade talked in between eating.

 “Not gonna eat your food Azul?” Jade looked from Azul’s plate to Azul.

“It's weird having..cooked food.” Azul turned over his food again, looking at it suspiciously. “How are you two able to get used to it so fast?”  he looked to his peers and glanced at their nearly empty plates.

Floyd let out a quick laugh and Jade smiled at Azul, “Simple, we choose food that had something we already knew we enjoyed at home in it.” Now Azul was interested. Land had some of the same food from the Coral Sea so he could find some comfort and find something like his mom made for the restaurant here too?

“What was this dish you two were able to find?’ Azul straightened up looking over the plates again, it didn’t look like anything he had seen before.

Floyd grinned wide, “Takoyaki.” was all he said. Azul waited for him to expand his finding but it didn’t seem like it was going to happen as Floyd finished off his plate, so he looked to Jade.

“I had some delicious octopus carpaccio for myself.” Jade said after he finished eating the last of his plate. Azul looked at him in horror and then back to Floyd. If Jade was eating octopus what was the other twin eating?

Floyd only smiled before saying “Hope your family is okay.” Azul was once again horrified that his peers were eating octopus right in front of him! Both the twins got up to drop their dishes off with the ghost in charge of cleaning dishes leaving Azul alone and shocked. He did not eat his food and instead tossed it in the trash and gave his plate to the ghost.

[peninkwrites]

A Patchwork Powder Keg - Ch 2 of 14

Wilbur goes looking for trouble. It finds him.

crossposted to ao3

Ch 1

Ch 3

Mafia AU masterpost

~ Wilbur & Tommy ~

Wilbur continues to meander through the streets, his cigarette to occupy himself.  He knows where the Blazeborne hotel is.  And that is where Niki said he could find this Tommy kid, and ideally his wallet.

And maybe someone who isn’t afraid to get their hands a little dirty.

Wilbur first deigns to follow Niki’s advice and get caught up on the sites.  The East side is as crumbly as he remembers.  A generous way to put it is this side of the river is historic.  It’s old brick, cracked concrete, and broken streetlights, half of them already stripped of their copper.

That’s new.  People didn’t fuck with public works last Wilbur was here, the infrastructure at least decayed naturally.  More windows are boarded up as opposed to just graffitied, and the old sites where Wilbur remembered there being food pantries are empty, and it definitely isn’t because everyone is suddenly housed and fed.  Wilbur doesn’t know if the homeless shelters had been maintained or not.  West of the river the homeless are probably more likely to get harassed or their stuff destroyed by the pigs, but here isn’t safe for them either.

Wilbur, for the first time since leaving his home, for a brief moment, he misses his dad.

He doesn’t know who claimed this patch of the Empire, but he imagines few familiar faces would be happy to see him.  He walks a little faster.

Wilbur makes it to the Midtown Bridge, breathless.  He stops, leaning against the railing, staring over the edge.

Even the fucking water is different now.  It smells wrong, not in that classic river smell of fish, it smells rotted, putrid.  He can see trash getting caught in the debris along the banks, the water is a greyish brown, not too unusual, but there’s a strange froth that forms on its surface that is definitely a bad sign.

Wilbur no longer misses his father.  He once more settles into that cozy, familiar resentment.  His father had held the line here, between all the violence and bloodshed, he’d done some good.  And then he’d thrown it all away.

Wilbur doesn’t cross the river.  He heads up the road along the river side, looking for a sign.

The hotel looks tired.  The neon sign no longer glows, or is at least tragically turned off during daytime hours.  It’s four stories tall, and if Wilbur looks carefully, a few of the rooms have balconies facing the waterside, and then half of those are barred off with wooden boards, which seems fair considering he can see significant holes in the metal of them.  Somehow it looks like a place Jack Manifold would be employed.

Okay.  Niki also said the kid broke into the hotel at night.  So, it’s not like he can just ask the front desk where he’s gone.  Wilbur sighs, sitting at a bench along the river, lighting another cigarette.  He hadn’t planned ahead for lunch.  And he has no money.

“That’s the second cigarette you’ve lit, bitch.  You’re gonna end up with stupid squishy lungs,” a gruff voice speaks up behind him.

“Jesus fucking christ–” Wilbur drops his lighter.  Tommy is staring at him from behind the bench.  “What the fuck are you– What’re you talking about?!  How would you know that?  What’re you–”

“Uh, I followed you.  Obviously.”

“For– For how long?!” Wilbur sputters.

“I dunno.  Saw you wandering around like a fuckin’ layabout with nothing better to do,” Tommy hops over the bench, sitting beside him.

Wilbur refocuses.  “Where’s my wallet?”

“Hm?” Tommy stares at him innocently.  “It’s yours, innit?  Shouldn’t you know that?”

“No,” Wilbur narrows his eyes, glaring at him.

“Ah, shit, man.  Gotta keep track of your stuff better,” Tommy gives him an almost convincing look of pity.

“You’re a horrible child, do you know that?” Wilbur scowls.  He sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose as a headache forms.  “Okay– Okay, if I don’t fight you over the cash, can you just give me the wallet back with the rest of it?  My ID and shit?”

“I’m sorry, man, I would, but I’ve already sold your information,” Tommy winces apologetically.  “They’ve probably got your identity by now.  Committing credit card fraud or some shit.”

“Are you fucking serious?  Please tell me you’re joking,” Wilbur turns frantic.

“Nah, not yet, but I haven’t made up my mind,” Tommy says haughtily.

“How kind of you,” Wilbur says dryly.  “I’ll at least have my identity when I start starving on the street.”

“You’re not starving on the street, you’re staying with Niki, bitch boy,” Tommy rolls his eyes.  “As if you know shit about starving on the street Mr ooh look at me I have a guitar I just carry around because I’m cool and artsy and mysterious!  Oooh my stupid fucking coat probably cost fifty fucking bucks and I–”

“Yeah, yeah, I get the fucking point,” Wilbur pushes Tommy’s head lightly, just enough to make him duck.

“Fucking rude!  Dickhead.  You go around pushing random kids?  You gonna steal candy from babies next?” Tommy pouts.

“Talk about stealing–” Wilbur scoffs.  “That was– That was all my fucking money, dude.”

“Oh, that’s tragic.  It was like 20 bucks.”

“That would’ve been enough for me to pay Niki for helping me and buy my own food while I get settled!” Wilbur snaps.

“You can still pay her back,” Tommy shrugs.  “This is probably a foreign concept to you, but ever heard of work?  Eh?  Hard lay-bour,” Tommy says patronizingly.

“You ever done a hard day’s work, Tommy?” Wilbur scoffs.

“More than you.”

“Touché.” Wilbur continues, trying to refocus even as Tommy keeps distracting him.  “Okay, if you’re not here to return my wallet, what the fuck are you doing here?  Why’d you follow me?” Wilbur frowns.

“I dunno, maybe I’m just curious,” Tommy is avoidant.

“Mhm.”

“Actually, I think the deal is– I don’t fucking know you.  And you’re currently living with two of the few people I actually give a shit about, so, forgive me for checking to make sure you’re not gonna like, chop ‘em up and sell their kidneys or whatever the fuck.”

“I told you I know Niki.  I’ve known her for ages.  You literally watched her hug me,” Wilbur says pointedly.

“Yeah,” Tommy shrugs.  “So I extra gotta make sure you don’t hurt them.  Nothing personal.”

“What, you don’t trust Niki to look after herself?”

“No!  No, that’s not it,” Tommy pouts.  “Niki can do whatever the fuck she wants to, she’s badass.  This is just precautionary.  In case I need to go tell her you’re secretly working with the cops or some shit and then she can fuck you up herself,” Tommy nods sharply like that settles the matter.

“Right,” Wilbur sighs.  “Right, since between the two of us you are… about $23 richer, d’you want to buy me food?”

“Not particularly.”

“You fucking pickpocketed me, you owe me a fucking– A fucking burger or something,” Wilbur scowls.

“What’s in it for me?”

“Besides me not trying to take my money back?”

“You fucking touch me you die, bitch.  I could fuck you up easy,” Tommy almost growls, glaring at him, looking like he’s about to start baring his teeth.

“Good god it’s like you’re fucking feral,” Wilbur scoots further down the bench.  He mulls something over.  “Alright, look, I need some help with… doing something.  Something Ranboo and Niki wouldn’t want to do, but Ranboo said if I wanted a… well, a criminal who isn’t involved in mob shit, you’re the guy to go to.”

Tommy scowls.  “Well, I’ll get back at Ranboo for that later.”

“Just hear me out.”

Tommy stares at him.  He can’t pretend he isn’t curious.

“I… I want to… annoy JSchlatt?  And the cops too if I can manage it,” Wilbur says hesitantly.  This kid is willing to commit some crimes, clearly, but Wilbur is wildly aware that is very different to trying actively to piss off the most fucked up mob boss in the city.

Tommy for a moment looks surprised.  He leans forward, eyebrows raised.  “Good.  Keep talking.”

Tommy had been fully on board with Wilbur’s plan, save one point.  “I’m not fucking buying you spray paint.  We’re going to get spray paint, but we’re sure as fuck not buying it,” Tommy scoffs.

“What, you gonna pickpocket some cans off a painter?”

“No,” Tommy grins.  “You are gonna help me, though.  It’s your idea, so you’re gonna be the fuckin’ mule, got it?  We’re going into the paint store over on 7th, I will distract the cashier, you are gonna load up that fancy coat with cans, and then you’re gonna skedaddle out of there all quiet like, eh?”

“Right.  Fine.”

It is almost seamless.

Tommy goes up to the counter and begins to ask the man working there if he knows if you can add something other than water to water colors, and if Tommy should be concerned that the “milk colors” he had created were beginning to grow mold.

The man stares at him, tired, dead eyed, and says “I’m calling the police.”

Tommy at first thinks it is in response to his query, which would’ve been fair enough, but then he sees Wilbur heading for the door with the most obvious spray paint can shapes poking from underneath his coat.

“You are the stupidest man alive!” Tommy shouts at him.  He turns, looking around wildly before knocking a display of brushes over the counter, “distraction!”

At which point he books it for the door, dragging Wilbur along with him.

“We’re just running–?”

“What the fuck else do you do?!” Tommy snaps back.

Wilbur tries to keep up, coat rattling wildly as he dodges around corners after Tommy who moves through alleyways like water down a stream.  “I d-don’t– I don’t even– I don’t think we’re being followed!” Wilbur huffs, breathing raggedly.

“Oh,” Tommy stops, Wilbur having to almost fall over himself to stop from running the kid over.  “Cool.  That was easy, then.  Normally they try to follow.”

“Normally?” Wilbur blusters.

“Well, not normally stealing from a paint shop, but in general,” Tommy shrugs.  “You know, man.  You were a bit of a fuckin’ paint glutton.  If you’d just put a couple up you’re sleeves he wouldn’t have called you out on it.”

“You said load up my fancy coat, I assumed you meant get a lot!” Wilbur says irritably.

“Well, you know what they say about assuming shit, makes an ass out of you,” Tommy leans against the brick wall, far less out of breath than Wilbur.

“And me?” Wilbur says bewilderedly.

“Yeah, that’s what I said, you’re an ass–”

“No, the fucking expression is makes an ass out of you and me.”

“Well, that makes no fucking sense, I’m not the one assuming,” Tommy frowns.

Wilbur laughs.  He’s already out of breath, and that quickly falls into a high cackle, him falling against the wall as the absurdity of the past ten minutes catches up with him.

Tommy actually smiles, looking surprised, like Wilbur is offering him praise, and maybe that he’s proud for making Wilbur laugh.  Tommy also finds it a bit disarming.

“Anyway!” Tommy says roughly.  “What now, you vandal?”

Wilbur manages to calm, taking a few deep breaths, still smiling.  “Yeah, sorry, we’re waiting ‘til after sunset.  Maybe I’m bold, but I’m not stupid.  In the mean time.  I am hungry,” Wilbur gives Tommy a very pointed look.

“Hm, I’ll take pity on you.  Buy you a burger,” Tommy says aloofly.

“How kind,” Wilbur says dryly.

“Best diner is across the river, but they’ve been fuckin’ closed the last few days.  It sucks,” Tommy whines.  “Depending on the day the owner would give me the muffins he burned for free, or he’d chase me out for getting too nosy in the register.”

“And he let you keep coming back?”

“How can he say no when I’ve got the best puppy eyes in the world?” Tommy looks back at him with an over dramatic pout.  “I dunno, the guy was lonely,” he shrugs.  “Said he reminded me of his kid or whatever cheesy shit old dudes have feelings about.”

“Huh,” Wilbur huffs.  “Wonder why he didn’t go bother his kid instead.”

“I dunno.  I was there for the free food, man,” Tommy shrugs.  “Come on, we can still get okay food somewhere else.”

The riverside had food trucks set up along the road, people ordering and taking walks, enjoying the scenery.  “Wait here,” Tommy tells him, heading up to the counter of one which smells fantastically like fried food.  “Hi, ‘scuse me, mister, I am trying to buy dinner for me and big brother over there, got my first job and all that, but I only have a couple dollars left from my paycheck.  D’you think you could make an exception this once and let me get a burger for my brother too?  I wanna impress him, y’know?  I said dinner was on me tonight, normally he’s the one looking after me, you see?  So, could you help me out?  This one time?”

Wilbur does as he’s told and stands back.

The man inside looks down at Tommy doubtfully.  He sighs, “yeah, fine.”

“Thank you so much, man!  Next paycheck I’ll come back here and put it all in the tip jar!” Tommy continues to play it up.  “This is real kind of you–”

“Just get out of line.”

“Can do!”

Tommy returns triumphant, handing Wilbur his sandwich.

“I think that was impressive, but it might’ve just been stupid,” Wilbur shakes his head, staring at him, maybe a little amazed.

“Ha!  Don’t go calling me stupid, dickhead.  I got you food.  You’re a lucky lad, Wilbur, I wasn’t gonna buy you dinner,” he scoffs.

“Why the fuck not?  I know you have the cash, seeing as it’s mine,” Wilbur says pointedly.

“Well, that just saved me another dollar, harmlessly, might I add, like the guy won’t miss it, so that’s more food tomorrow, eh?  Gotta make it last.  A few little white lies and I got free food with minimal effort,” Tommy says proudly.  “And if we go to one of the fancy parks on the West side, we can get water from the drinking fountains.”

“Why didn’t you tell him the truth?  You being tragically homeless is probably a better sob story,” Wilbur gives him an amused look.

Tommy shrugs, “nah, people don’t get kind very often if you say you’re homeless ‘cause they assume you’ll come back asking for more.  Better to say some cutesy shit that makes it sound like you’re doing alright for yourself, hence, darling little brother spending his first paycheck on his arrogant, foolish big brother who doesn’t know what he’d do without him,” Tommy grins.

Wilbur’s amusement fades slightly.  He’d managed to push past Tommy’s practicality in stretching every cent so he can manage to eat another day, but it’s a bit harder facing that Tommy has to strategize around the inhuman disdain people seem to have for a kid who’s struggling.

Wilbur is shaken from his sympathies by Tommy shoving half a burger in his mouth.

“Do you unhinge your jaw?  What the fuck?”

Tommy makes an incomprehensible noise that might hypothetically have been, “impressed?” but Wilbur has no clue.

“So, Wilbur,” Tommy says once capable of speech again.  “Might I ask why you are so hellbent on annoying JSchlatt?  Other than the fact that he’s a dick and deserves it?”

“Hm,” Wilbur exhales a soft laugh, mulling it over.  “I am… looking for trouble.”

Tommy gives him annoyed look, unamused.  “Okay, like that means fuckin’ anything.”

Wilbur shrugs.  “Let’s see if we find it, and then maybe I’ll tell you.  What about you, Tommy?  You agreed to help me, you have nothing better to do?”

Tommy kicks a crumbled piece of the pavement into the river.  “You wanted to fuck with JSchlatt, and I will do that any day, happily.”

“What, he kill your parents or something?”

“Nope.  He hurts my best friend,” Tommy says simply, rage barely hidden by his swaggering facade.

Wilbur notes the present tense.  “That’s a… pretty good reason.”

“Yeah, I know it is,” Tommy leans against the rusty iron railing meant to stop people from slipping into the water.  “Dunno how the fuck we’re doing that with spray paint.  I’d prefer ripping his fucking arms off so he can never hurt anyone again,” Tommy scowls.

“This is step one in a larger plan, Tommy.  Maybe we’ll work our way up,” Wilbur nods sagely.  “Speaking of,” he glances up at the streetlights, those still with their copper struggle to life, dim yellow pools shedding patchy bits of light on the street.  Across the river, the distinction is clear.  Every corner lit up, the light almost clean.

“Go time?” Tommy bounces back on his heels, nervous energy rising.

“Yeah.  You know better than I do, what’s Schlatt’s?”

Tommy grins, “come with me, brother dearest!”  Tommy starts off down the darkening street, Wilbur keeping up more easily now.  “Right, this joint– It’s a fuckin’ snobby restaurant, bunch of uptight dickheads, and Schlatt staked a claim on it,” Tommy stops.  “But, it’s not like Schlatt’s gonna care.  He’s not the one cleaning it up.”

“Yeah, but I’ve got something particular in mind,” Wilbur takes out a can of black paint, shaking it.  “What’d be a cool name for a gang?  An up and coming mob, one that sounds sure to be a threat?”

“Fuck if I know,” Tommy scoffs.  “Dirty crime boys?  That’s what we are, eh?  Dirty fuckin’ crime boys!”

Wilbur laughs, “yeah, yeah sure.  Crime boys.”  He begins to spray.

“What do I do?”

“Whatever you want.  Just… think intimidating.”

“Fuck yeah.  Big T oozes intimidation.”

“Why’d you have to say oozes?” Wilbur scrunches up his nose in disgust.

“What, are you intimidated?”

“Not by you saying oozes.”

“Get painting, bitch,” Tommy pushes him lightly.  The other colors Wilbur had managed to get included blue, red, yellow, white, and another can of black.  Tommy sets to work.  “Is this the kind of trouble you got up to in your youth or whatever the fuck?”

“This?” Wilbur laughs, continuing to write.  “No, no this isn’t what trouble meant in my family.”

“Oh, yeah,” Tommy nods, dropping one color and grabbing another, “you were an Empire kid, right?”

“Yeah,” Wilbur hesitates.  “But I wasn’t an… orphan.”

“Okay..?” Tommy frowns, half in concentration as he tries to steady his lines, half puzzlement.  “What’s that mean, then?”

“See, my dad, he… he fit in really well in this city, if you catch my meaning,” Wilbur steps back to assess his work, scanning the street.  He keeps painting.  “He did bad things.  Good too, but the bad stuff…” Wilbur looks grave.  “I dunno.  Some things feel like they warrant a bigger punishment.”  He gestures to the marred brick.  “Hence, this.”

“This is how you’re punishing your dad?” Tommy scoffs.  “How’s that make any fucking sense?”

“No, it probably doesn’t,” Wilbur shrugs, lost in thought.  “But as I said, it’s a small piece of a much bigger plan.”

“Why the fuck are you wasting energy punishing your dad when he’s not even here?” Tommy asks pointedly, painting with more fervor now as he has a plan.  “People with parents fuckin’ confuse me.  Just move on.  If they’re shit, kill ‘em, if they’re not, grow up, move out, move on.”

“That’s what you think parental relationships are?  You just up and leave one day and that’s that?”

“I mean, sounds like you did.”

Wilbur nods, at least admitting some truth to that, “Except I’m here because of my dad.”

“I guess.  Like that makes any fuckin’ sense.”

“You might’ve missed this growing up an orphan and all, but all things men do are to get back at their fathers,” unlike Tommy, Wilbur is being especially careful with his writing, each letter meticulously painted, even as black paint drips down the wall.  “Even if getting back at them is just doing something worth their love.”

Tommy stops his present task, looking over at Wilbur doubtful.  “Is that what you’re doing?  The love shit?”

Wilbur laughs, “oh no.  I’m being a petty bastard.”

“Okay, why?”

Wilbur grins, looking over at Tommy, hand still raised with his can of spray paint.  “Because my dad tried to save my life.”

Tommy stares at him.  “Okay, now I’m really confused.”

Wilbur shrugs.  “Maybe I’ll explain better one day.”

“But not today?”

“No, Tommy, not today.”

Wilbur steps back beside him, admiring their handiwork.  “What’s that meant to be?  Is it a code or something?”

“No! It’s supposed to be a flag,” Tommy frowns, looking at his artwork carefully.  “I kind of took the design from Niki.”  Tommy glances at Wilbur’s half of the bricks, in thick letters, one layer black, one layer red, all caps:

CRIME BOYS

covers the majority of the wall, the lines are clear, but Wilbur went too slow, tried too hard, so lines of paint drip down across the lettering.

“Not too bad, eh?” Wilbur says, bouncing back on his heels.

“It’s alright.”

“Just alright?” Wilbur gives him a look.

“Crime boys is a good name, though.”

“Why, ‘cause you thought of it?”

“Obviously,” Tommy glances down the darkened streets.  “Come on.  If you’re done, we should get out of here.”

“There’s no fucking way cops would be prowling around the East side this late,” Wilbur points out.

“Yeah, but Schlatt’s men would be.”

“Ah, fair point,” Wilbur is quick to follow him.  “You going back to that hotel?”

“Nah, thought I’d give sleeping under a bridge a try, it’s fucking cold as shit out but why not,” Tommy jeers.

“Fine, fine,” Wilbur raises his hands passively, glancing behind them at their work, both of their fingertips now stained with paint.  “I’ll walk you back.”

“You’ll walk me back?” Tommy scoffs.  “What, someone tries to rob us, you’re gonna fight ‘em off?  Catch a bullet between your teeth?”

“I dunno,” Wilbur laughs.  “Maybe I’ll dive in front of you like a heroic martyr.  I’m your big brother, after all.”

Tommy crinkles his nose in disgust.  “I gotta stop playing into that.”

“Yeah!  You’re the one who kept it going!” Wilbur teases.

“Shut the fuck up, it was a con,” Tommy scowls.

“Yeah, right, if you were my brother, you’d give me my fucking wallet back,” Wilbur says pointedly.  They make it to the bridge, turning the corner.  This late, the riverside is mostly deserted.  It’s a short walk to the hotel from here.

“How d’you know you didn’t lose it?”

“Because you’re a pickpocket, who definitely fucking took it!” Wilbur gives him a halfhearted glare.  Just ahead, the busted neon sign glows out Bla ebor ne Hote .

Tommy grins, all mischief and mayhem.  “I mean, how’re you so sure I even have it?  I mean, have you checked all the pockets on that tory ass coat of yours?”

“Obviously I checked my pockets,” Wilbur snaps.

“I don’t think you seem like a very thorough fella,” Tommy shrugs casually, leaning against the railing and looking out over the water.

Wilbur stares at him with narrowed eyes, patting down his own pocket.  He isn’t sure if he should feel irritated or relieved when he feels his wallet in his left pocket.  “How the fuck did you..?”

“Oh!  There it is, man!  Told you you just didn’t look hard enough,” Tommy teases him.

Wilbur pulls out his wallet.  It is significantly thinner than when he left home.  There is a single dollar still tucked inside.  Along with his ID.  Wilbur has never been more grateful for the fact that he didn’t have a credit card.  Then he would’ve been in deep shit.

“How fucking kind of you– a single dollar,” Wilbur says dryly.

“I could’ve not given it back at all, bitch!” Tommy cackles.  “You’re welcome.  See you around, Wilbur.  Guess you’re not totally boring.”

“Is that supposed to be a compliment?” Wilbur calls as Tommy runs for the fire escape, climbing the dumpster to reach the lowest ladder with ease.

Wilbur shakes his head, smiling in spite of himself.  He’s got quite a bit of Badlands territory to cross to get back to Niki’s.  He starts walking.

Tommy heads for the third floor.  This one the showers broke a lot, so the rooms were more likely to be empty.  He squints into the window immediately on the fire escape.  No indication of an occupant.  Perfect.  The Hotel had tried replacing the locks to keep him out.  They underestimate him.  Tommy pulls out his pocket knife.  The window is not worth breaking the blade, but he thinks he can break the lock if he jams it in the window rail.  The old handle he’d just use the little screwdriver on his multi-tool and twist it from the outside.  The new latches are trickier.

“Come on…” Tommy mutters.  “Fucking dickhead…  Jack Manifold’s fuckin’ fault…”  It isn’t, really.  Jack didn’t have a say in anything, just a job to lose if Tommy continued to break in, but hey, Tommy needed somewhere to sleep.

Tommy stops with a huff.  It must’ve been annoyingly expensive to change all the locks.  There was a fire escape on each side of the building, four floors, so three windows on each.  That meant six rooms he could try to sneak into, unless he tried to see if all the windows had the new latch.

He would figure out how to get it open eventually.  But fuck, was he tired.  Tommy climbs down to the second floor.  He knows all the windows on the first floor have iron grates, so it’s not worth even trying.  He instead carefully climbs over the fire escape railing.  Second floor means if he fucks up, he’ll probably just sprain something instead of actually dying.  The trim around the building is a narrow ledge of old brick.  Not exactly a secure walkway.  It’s dark as shit, Tommy is tired, he almost considers trying out that steam grate over on the West side.  It’s a relatively warm spot to sleep.  Tommy also knows the cops will give him shit if they find him there, might even take the rest of Wilbur’s cash off of him for the hell of it.  It’s too exposed, too known as a warm place to sleep for the homeless.  Maybe he could find a roof with a metal chimney.  If there’s a fire going, the metal gets hot.  That would be safer.  Less warm unless he feels like getting burned.

“Fuck…” Tommy sighs, inching out onto the ledge, fingers forming an iron grip onto the thin pillars between the windows.  “Ha!” Tommy says half under his breath as he clings to the next set of windows.  This one has the old latch.  It’s easy.  Tommy squints into the room.  The curtains are closed.  Fuck.  That means someone is definitely in there.  Tommy glances back to the fire escape.  It seems much further away than he first thought.  “Come on, Tommy, one more try,” he mutters, reaching for the next pillar.  “It’s fine, it’s great, you’re definitely not gonna fucking fall–” Tommy makes it to the next ledge and feels the brick wobble beneath him.  “Fuck!” Tommy shouts, clinging to the pillar and stepping onto the next brick.  It doesn’t move.  The curtains at this window are open, the room inside empty and clean.  “Thank fuck–” Tommy clings to the window rail with an iron grip, his other hand shimmying the knife against the latch with devout concentration.  “Okay, okay, you’re good–” Tommy sighs, pushing the window up shakily, leaning as close to the building as he can manage.  Tommy slips inside carefully, scanning the room once more for occupants.  Nothing.  Maybe this wasn’t worth the stress to have somewhere decent to sleep, but he didn’t know what else to do.  Tommy cranks up the radiator as warm as it will go and leaves the window open for a quick escape, other than that, he burrows under the clean blankets of the room and passes out.

[deepcoraldragon]

New fic! In your Wake

Summary:

Helping a young, wild mer get free from a net was pretty standard work for marine biologists and mer experts Wilbur and Phil. But Wil couldn’t get it out of his head. Maybe it was the other mer’s worryingly bony frame. Or the fact that their distress call had summoned none of their podmates. (Wilbur always got attached too fast).

Or: mer!Clingyduo aren’t bad at living alone, per se. It’s more like everything dangerous in this goddamned ocean is bad at leaving them alone. (Much like sbi, once they realize what’s going on).

Chapters: 1/8 | Words: 2027 | Read on AO3

Chapter one: Sundried

Wilbur was out at sea with his family.

Well, minus Techno. He had chosen to stay at the rehabilitation center, overseeing a few departures. Phil would normally have done the same, but a major storm had hit the coast the night before, and the current priority was to make sure no animals had been washed ashore, injured or stranded.

“Nothing so far," said Wilbur, lowering his binoculars.

Phil was looking at the coastline with the naked eye from his place at the boat's helm, but Wilbur knew that his ridiculously good eyesight allowed him to spot some things long before he did.

It was also certainly a matter of experience. Phil, a certified marine biologist specializing in the biology of merpeople, these half-human, half-fish water beings, had been working at the rehab center longer than Wilbur had been alive.

Still, it was Wilbur who saw them first.

At the limit of the shoal they were skirting, a shape perched on a rock. Too big for a seal.

“Phil," Wilbur called.

Wordlessly, his father followed the edge of the rocky area in its direction.

Grey seals, taking sunbaths on the surrounding rocks like large, squishy bananas, watched them pass curiously. Their calls were hoarse, dissonant and loud, but as the two approached, they could not quite cover the high-pitched trills of a distress call.

“Definitely not seals,” Phil muttered.

 When the water level became too low, Phil raised the zodiac's engine and Wilbur pulled out the ship’s paddle.

A splash announced that they had been spotted. Wilbur slowed their approach to assess the situation.

A webbed hand, with eroded claws and missing a few scales, was holding on the boulder what looked like a cross between a pile of old, bright orange plastic nets and a young mer. If the dryness of the yellow and black scales, matted and cracked by the wind and the heat of the morning sun, hadn't been enough to worry Wilbur, the way the net’s rope bit cruelly into the mer's skin, twisting and contorting their limbs, would have been more than enough.

“Do you see the other one?" Phil asked in a low voice, before pointing, when he found the answer to his own question.

A smaller hand was gripping the edge of the rock, on the side opposite to theirs. Another, a fragment of shell clutched between its claws, was frantically sawing at the ropes.

“They're not going to make it alone, are they?" Wil surmised, already eager to help.

“No," Phil said gravely. “And I’m worried about the one who's caught. His breathing is too slow. We'll approach gently, and you can calm the second one down. As soon as another member of their pod arrives, we drop everything and back off. Most pods in the area recognize our boat...”

“... But a protective, worried mer doesn't always bother to look before attacking," Wilbur finished. “If only Techno were here... Don’t tell his I said that.”

“We're more than capable of handling it,” Phil reassured.

The cries of distress had died down as they approached, but as Wilbur dipped the paddle back into the water, propelling them toward the two kids, a final, strangled call was heard.

“We're here to help you," Phil announced, his voice slow and calm. “My name is Phil, and this is my son Wilbur. We're from Servür’s Marine Rehabilitation Center. We're going to come closer now, okay?”

They were answered by an aggressive screech. Phil motioned for Wil to keep going.

Up close, the bound mer looked even worse for wear. He didn't even turn his head as they approached, though his too-long, tangled hair obscured whether his eyes were open or not, and each of his slow, labored breaths escaped with a slight wheeze. Wilbur steered the boat as carefully as he could, almost holding his breath. Phil pulled a short blade from his belt.

The hull of their boat hit the edge of the rock with a dull thud.

Wilbur barely had time to brace himself before a golden shape shot out of the water, shooting a spray of salt water into his face.

Fortunately, Wilbur was not a marine biologist for nothing.

Keep reading on AO3!