#But I feel like it makes sense for the context ^^

[soaps-mohawk]

Cherry Red, Crimson Blood

What Could Have Been

Summary: You've reached the age you can be chosen. Little do you know your future has been planned out from the start.

Pairing: Philip Graves x reader

Word Count: 7, 358 words

Warnings: Alpha/Beta/Omega dynamics, a/b/o, Omegaverse, Alternate Universe, AU of an AU, suggestive content, mentioned predatory behaviors towards a minor, Philip Graves is a major creep, reader has a set age for plot (she is an adult), dubcon (pushing noncon at the end) but it's muddy water because a/b/o, kissing, touching, lingerie, panic, coercion, virginity and purity culture, fade to black because I couldn't write smut for this

A/N: I am...very sorry for this. Honestly I've been debating posting it but I wrote 7k words and I don't want that to go to waste. This is very...dark. A lot is implied but there's still some fairly disturbing content because of those things. The reader is 18 in this because of plot, but it still feels very...icky. Definitely recommend reading Chapter 34 before reading this to understand the context. Not necessary to read. Just an AU what if kind of bit for the story.

Also if you're finding this and you've never seen my stuff before, Hi! I highly recommend reading Cherry Red, Crimson Blood first before this for context otherwise some things might not make sense. I suppose it could be read as a stand alone but still, context is nice to have

What Ifs Masterlist | Directory

“You’ve been chosen.” 

You had barely managed to get a bite in of breakfast when one of the staff members had pulled you away and led you to the director’s office. None of the omegas at FIOT particularly like him. He’s a small man, middle aged and balding. His scent is...not pleasant. Nutty with undertones of wet animals and whatever he ate for his meals that day. Every omega in the institute dreads being called to his office, being closed in with the offensive smell he permeates. 

You would have been experiencing that same disgust had it not been for your shock at his words. “What?” You breathe, eyes wide. 

“You’ve been chosen.” He repeats, folding his hands on his desk over a thin file. 

“So soon?” You ask, forgetting all decorum and manners you’ve had drilled into your head for two years. 

It’s your eighteenth birthday today. You just became old enough to be chosen a matter of hours ago. 

“This pack is very eager to claim you as their omega.” He says. “One of their betas will be by tomorrow to interview you.” 

Your heart flutters in your chest. While it’s shocking you were chosen so soon, this is what you had hoped for. Two years of training and drilling perfection into your head did pay off. You’ve hardly been on the available list more than a few hours and already there’s a pack interested in you. Something about it has a chill running down your spine, tickling at the base of your neck. You brush it off as shock at this all happening so soon. 

“You may return to breakfast.” The director says, going back to his paperwork. 

“Thank you, sir.” You say, exiting his office. 

It doesn’t feel like your feet touch the floor as you walk back to the mess hall, your body floating as you make your way through the halls. If tomorrow goes well, this will be the last day you spend in this building, this prison you’ve been confined to. They’ll be here as early as they can be tomorrow, if they’re this eager to choose you. 

The thought has something prickling in the back of your mind still. 

Who are they? Who is this eager to choose you? The must have known about you before you even showed up in the registry as being available. You’ve heard rumors that institutes will supply information about omegas to packs for the right price under the table. Information on omegas that aren’t old enough to be chosen. 

You wouldn’t be surprised if FIOT was one of those institutes. The packs that get their omegas here are packs that can pay a hefty price. There’s usually a waiting period while background checks are done and information has to be verified and packs have to interview with the director before omegas themselves can even be interviewed by the pack. You’ve seen it take weeks before. 

Whoever the alpha of this pack is...they knew about you before you became available. 

“What did the director want?” One of the omegas in your age group asks as you take your seat at the table again. Amanda. She cried for five days when she was brought in. 

The others at the table lean in close, like you’re about to reveal some big secret. 

“I’ve been chosen.” You tell them. The words almost seem like a foreign language on your tongue. 

They all cheer happily, getting looks from the wardens around the mess hall. 

“That’s amazing!” Chelsea says, wrapping her arms around you to squeeze you in a tight hug. 

“So soon?” Amanda asks as the congratulations die down. 

“Yeah.” You say. “They’re interviewing me tomorrow.” 

They all share looks, and you know they’re thinking the same thing you are. 

The rumors are true.

“Impressive, isn’t she?” The warden for your dorm group says, as if you’re not sitting there too. She’s responsible for overseeing the small group of eight omegas you’re a part of. She’s the most knowledgeable about the omegas under her watchful eyes, and it’s standard practice for the wardens to sit in on the interviews between the pack beta and the omega being chosen. 

“Quite.” The beta says, looking over your thick file. Bryan, he’d introduced himself as. He’d shaken your hand, something you hadn’t been expecting. He acknowledged you as existing right away, something that doesn’t happen often in the stories you’ve heard about interviews, stories from omegas that had made it this far in the process, but were rejected in the end. “Excellent scores, quite extensive essays.” He says, flipping through the file. He’s not really looking at it. You can see his eyes just scanning the pages. He already knows. He came into the building with his answer. 

Whoever his alpha is has already seen your file. 

He closes the file, pushing it forward on the table. He’s looking at you. You can feel his eyes on you. Yours are lowered respectfully, no matter how badly you want to stare back at him. 

“To be honest, my alpha already made his decision before I got here.” Bryan says, leaning his arms on the table. “Your profile was enough to convince him.” 

“So, you’d like to move forward with the process?” Warden Jameson asks. 

“Yes.” He says, nodding. “She’s going to be a perfect fit.” 

You glance up at him, a warm smile on his face as he stares at you. It’s really happening. You really have been chosen. 

The next hour is a flurry of paperwork and signatures. None from you, of course, but from the beta of your new pack. The paperwork would be sent to your new alpha to sign off on and to finalize the decision once you meet him. No one has ever been sent back after that point, yet you can’t help the nervous flutter in your stomach. What if they don’t like you after all? What if they made a hasty decision and regret it as soon as they meet you? What if you mess everything up?

You follow Bryan and the director towards the entrance to the building, something you haven’t seen since your tour after your arrival. It’s off limits to omegas, several locked doors standing between them and freedom. 

Or more like to keep others out. 

There’s someone at the front desk as you pass by, and you turn to look out of curiosity. It’s a middle aged woman with blonde hair, dressed in a business suit. “Kate Laswell, here for an appointment with Director Jones.” 

You don’t get to hear anything else, ushered out into the world by the director. You’ve heard how giddy he gets about omegas leaving from staff, though you supposed that’s because it’s extra money in his pockets. The more omegas he can match and get out of FIOT, the more the government pays him. 

“I’m looking forward to hearing how she’s settling in.” The director says to Bryan as he hands off your small bag of meager belongings. 

“Of course.” Bryan says, setting it in the front seat of the car waiting out front. “My alpha will be in touch.” 

“Good.” He shakes Bryan’s hand before turning to you. “Good luck. I expect the best from you.” 

“Thank you, sir.” You say, dropping your gaze out of respect. 

Bryan opens the car door for you and you slide in, smoothing out your skirt. You’re still in your uniform, and you won’t be able to change until you get to where you’re going. If they let you change. It’s important they remember where you came from, where you were taught the things you’re supposed to know, where you were trained to be the perfect omega. As if they could forget where they paid for you. 

Bryan drives away from the institute, taking you away from the place that’s been your home for the last two years. It’s the first time you’ve been outside those walls since you were forced in, ripped away from your home the day after your presentation. You’ve thought about your family many times over the last two years. Where are they now? How are they doing? What have your siblings been up to? Have any of them presented as omegas too? 

Maybe your new alpha will let you contact them again. 

It’s wishful thinking. Most don’t. Not the kinds of alphas that buy from FIOT. 

“Nervous?” Bryan asks, glancing at you through the rearview mirror. 

“Yes, sir.” You say, smoothing your hands over your skirt. You’re projecting your scent without even realizing it. “Sorry, sir.” 

He smiles. “I don’t blame you. I’d be nervous too. Don’t worry, though. You’re going to a good place.” 

Despite his well meaning words, you can’t help but feel a bit of trepidation. Is it a good place? Or is it only a good place by beta’s standards? He can’t possibly know, he can’t possibly understand, unless there’s other omegas. 

You’re almost excited by the thought of being around other omegas in a pack. Having that chance to have friends and bond with others like you who know. Those who understand. 

You can’t help but stare as Bryan pulls into the parking garage of a very nice hotel. The cars in the parking garage are some of the most expensive you’ve ever seen. You’re not surprised, given the types of alphas that choose omegas from FIOT. Rich, important alphas looking for trophies to wave around. 

Look at me, look at my perfect omega. 

Bryan opens your door for you, helping you out of the car. He’s holding your bag in his hand, using the other to guide you towards the elevator. His hand is warm, even though your back is beginning to sweat a bit. You’re really nervous now, but you try to keep your scent under control. 

Your new life is about to begin, the life of a claimed omega. 

Unless they don’t like you. 

You have to do everything in your power to make sure they do.

The elevator ride seems to take a lifetime as you go up to a high floor overlooking the city. You’ve never stayed in a hotel this nice before. You’ve never even been in a building with this many floors before. 

Bryan leads you down the hall to a door, using the keycard to open it. He gives you a reassuring smile before pushing it open and guiding you through. It’s a suite, possibly the nicest hotel room you’ve ever seen. Bryan leads you to the small living area, the man you assume is your alpha seated on one of the couches. He’s sitting there casually, ankle crossed over his knee, his arm thrown over the back of the couch. There’s a grin on his face, your eyes widening as you stare at him. 

“Phil?” 

It comes out before you can stop it, all training and decorum leaving as you stare at him in shock. His smile widens, showing off perfect white teeth and dimples. He’s a bit older now than he had been back then, but it is him. 

“Hi darlin’.” He says, pushing himself up to stand. “Been a while.” 

Ten years or so. He was your dad’s best friend while he was stationed in Texas. He was at your house constantly, sitting around watching sports and standing in the backyard while your father barbequed. He was always friendly to you, always sitting just a little too close, always hovering. You hadn’t thought anything about it back then. You were too young to understand. 

Now you do. 

You drop your gaze as he approaches, trying to recover from your shock. You still have an impression to make, a role to fill. Calloused fingers cup your chin, lifting your face back up. You stare up into Phil’s bright blue eyes, just as friendly as you remember them being. 

“None of that.” He says softly. “We’re familiar with each other, aren’t we?” 

“Yes, sir.” You say, swallowing thickly. 

A small smile tugs at his lips before he releases you. “Come on, make yourself comfortable.” He motions to the couches. “We've got a few things to discuss.”

Nerves twist in your stomach as you move to the couches, tucking your skirt under you before you sit. The couch is comfortable, your body sinking into the cushion. It's far more comfortable than the chairs and benches at the institute. He takes a seat right next to you, draping an arm across the back of the couch behind you. 

His fingers curl under your chin again, turning your head so you're looking at him. Those bright blue eyes scan your face, taking in every detail.

“Those pictures didn't do you any justice.” He says. Your file is sitting on the table in front of you. “You've always been a pretty little thing.” His thumb traces your jaw, your stomach churning. “Look like your mom more than your dad. That's certainly not a bad thing.” He smirks. 

He holds you there for a moment staring into your eyes. Something tickles in the back of your mind as he stares at you, something instinctual like a warning. He releases you, dropping his hand back onto his lap. 

“It's good to see you again.” He says, the fingers of the hand behind you playing with the strands of your hair. “A lot has changed, hasn't it? I got old, you became an omega. I always knew you would. Your temperament wasn't right for an alpha. Always so calm and eager to please. You weren't rowdy like your brothers. Always such a sweet little thing.” His fingers trail over the back of one of your hands where it's draped in your lap. Your stomach clenches at his touch, something churning inside you, something you haven't felt since the last time you were around him. “You didn't deserve the way he treated you. It wasn't your fault for becoming what you are.”

He's talking about your father. 

“How did you-”

“I was the one he called.” Phil says simply. “Raging and carrying on about his useless child presenting as an omega.” He shakes his head. “So I pulled some strings, promised some favors, and got you into FIOT immediately, with the stipulation that you would be mine as soon as you were old enough.” He grins. “Now here we are!”

You swallow thickly, staring at him. “It was you?”

He nods. “Had to make sure you'd be taken care of until I could come yet you myself. Now you’re here.” His arm wraps tighter around you, the hand that had been brushing yours dropping to wrap around your thigh. You stare up at him as he leans down slightly closer to you. He smells just like you remember. Woody with the rich scent of chocolate underneath. “I will take care of you.” He says, looking pointedly into your eyes. “You'll want for nothing and you'll be happy.”

Will you? 

You break away first, your eyes dropping to stare at the hand that’s gripping your thigh, fingers indenting the skin through your tights. It feels like a threat, a silent reminder of the power dynamic between you, something he won’t say out loud. He’s an alpha, you’re only an omega. He has control over you, he can dictate your entire life now that you’ve been chosen by him. You belong to him, just as he’s wanted. 

He’s been waiting longer than two years. 

“You hungry?” He asks, his entire demeanor suddenly shifting. 

You are hungry. You had left the institute just before lunch, and you had barely been able to eat breakfast because of the nerves. You nod, deciding telling the truth is better than to try to lie to him early on. “Yes, sir.” 

He gives you a grin. “You don’t have to be so formal. You can call me Phil, just like old times.” He finally releases you, leaning forward to grab a tri-fold menu off the table. “Pick whatever you like.” He says, putting it in your hands. “I’ll be right back.” 

He gets up from the couch and you watch him go before turning back to the menu. The prices make your stomach churn. Your family wasn’t necessarily poor, but with so many of you, you certainly weren’t taking very many vacations very often. Your family moved around so much there wasn’t much of a need to take vacations either. 

You’re not even sure what to do, looking at the menu. What was acceptable? What if you ordered something too expensive. With a hotel room like this, you’re not sure you could order something too expensive. You’re not even quite sure what Phil does anymore. You remember overhearing a conversation he had with your dad about joining MARSOC before he disappeared from your lives. Is he still involved with the military? Did he leave and enter a new career field, one that allows him to stay in places like this? 

You might never know. It’s not your job to know things like that. 

You just need to know how to serve your alpha and take care of him, follow his orders and give him pups when he desires them. Be a good omega and do whatever it is he wants. Your wants don’t matter, only your alpha’s. 

“Decide what you want?” Phil asks, appearing in front of you again. 

You jump in surprise, having been so caught up in your thoughts, you hadn’t noticed him approaching. You’ll have to break that habit and fast. “Yes.” You say, even though you hadn’t even read through the menu in its entirety. 

You try to stop your hands from shaking, picking out the first thing your eyes land on. You’re not even quite sure what it is or if you’ll like it. You needed an answer and you gave it to him. Just exactly what he wanted. 

That is your job, after all. 

Give him exactly what he wants. 

The bed looks plush and comfortable, larger than you’ve slept on in a long time. The beds at FIOT weren’t too terribly uncomfortable, but you’ve gotten so used to sharing a room it seems strange to be sleeping on your own. 

That’s not the only reason it feels strange. 

“Are you not going to-” 

Phil cuts you off before you can finish, not even needing to know what you were going to ask. “No. Not here.” He says, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. “That’s for when we’re at home. Besides,” He smooths a hand over your hair. “You’ve had a long day.” 

He stares down at you for a moment, and you almost think he’s changing his mind, deciding he can’t wait until you’re back in Texas. Instead he takes a step back, turning to the dresser your bag had been set on. There’s other shopping bags next to it, things you hadn't even noticed when you walked in. 

You had been too focused on the bed. 

“Bryan picked up some clothes.” He turns back to look at you, his hand trailing down your back. “As cute as the uniform is, I’d rather you be comfortable.” 

You can see it in his eyes. He’s picturing you in it, and not standing before him. It makes your skin crawl. 

“Get some sleep.” He says, moving his hand from your lower back. “We’ve got an early flight tomorrow. You need anything, I’m across the hall and Bryan’s next door.” 

You nod, swallowing the lump in your throat. “Thank you, Phil.” 

He grins down at you, dimples indenting in his cheeks. “Of course, darlin’.” 

You stare at the door for a minute after he closes it, holding your breath. You half expect him to come back in, change his mind and decide he’d rather do it here. He could barge in, force you down on the bed and you wouldn’t be able to do anything. You’re not supposed to do anything. 

Good omegas do as they’re told. Good omegas don’t fight back. 

You wish the door had a lock on it. 

You jolt awake as you’re jostled in your seat. You let out a quiet sound, not quite sure where you even are, much less what’s going on. 

“Just a bit of turbulence.” A voice says, pushing your head to rest against a shoulder again. 

Right. You’re on a plane heading towards Dallas. You didn’t realize you fell asleep, your head resting on Phil’s shoulder. He smells like scent blockers, all three of you do. The plane is a cocktail of scents, the chemical burn of scent blocker mixed with the ugly mesh of too many scents in one confined space. Not everyone has the decency to use scent blockers while traveling. You’ve always hated planes for that reason. 

You stretch your legs out as much as you can, your knee bumping the tray lightly. It had been lowered, you assume, at some point while you were asleep. Your book is sitting on it, the book you had been reading before you fell asleep. It’s the only one you own, a worn out copy you stole from FIOT’s library during your first week and never returned. The cover is faded and nearly falling off, the pages yellowed and stiff from how many times it’s been read over the last two years. 

You’d had a brief discussion about it before you descended into silence, Phil promising you all the books your heart desires once you get to his home. Your home. 

It’s your home now too. You’re no longer attached to your family, no longer attached to the institute. Phil is your world now, and you exist solely in his sphere. You’re dependent on him, and once the claim is made and the paperwork is filed, you will be his forever. 

There won’t be any going back. 

Phil will never change his mind. 

The plane jostles again and you grip the arm resting on your leg out of instinct. 

“Easy.” Phil shushes you, his lips brushing your forehead. His hand closes around yours, squeezing it gently. “Haven’t flown much, have you?” 

“Twice.” You say, your fully awake brain realizing you’re still leaning against his shoulder, but you’re not sure you should move. He obviously likes it if he let it happen. Will he get mad if you try to move? Would he reprimand you on the plane, even if you are quite spaced out in first class? 

He hums, resting his cheek on your head. “We’ll go on lots of flights together. I’ll take you all over the world.” 

Would he take you to see your family again? 

They were friends once. He has to at least know where they are and what they’re doing. Would he do that for you? Or is he going to keep you isolated as expected to prevent those bonds from forming again. Your only bonds should be with him and his pack. Not your old pack that you left behind for a reason. 

You don’t know anything about his pack. 

You know he has a beta, Bryan, his most trusted beta, from the looks of it. How many others are there? How many other alphas and betas? Is he head alpha, or is there someone else? You can’t imagine Phil not being in charge. He always seemed to take command of a room, even with other alphas. Even with your dad. 

Are there other omegas in his pack? Or will you be alone, surrounded by alphas and betas? 

Can you even ask him? Or is he saving that for later, when you’re at his home. Would he get annoyed if you asked? Would it ruin his plan that he obviously has laid out? 

Your name being said brings you back to reality, your head tilting to look up at Phil. He’s staring down at you, his eyebrows raised. 

“Welcome back.” He says, and for a second you wonder if you fell asleep again. “Lost in your head there, huh?” 

You swallow thickly. “Yeah. My instructors said I have a lot of strengths, but my one fault is I think too much. Sometimes they’d say I’m sucking all the thoughts out of the room. Though, I think that was less of an insult towards me.” 

Phil chuckles. “Got a lot of things going on in that head of yours. Just don’t let it get you too distracted. Hate for something to happen to you.” He presses a kiss to your forehead again as the plane begins its descent. 

His words almost feel like a threat again, like a silent warning that something will happen if you don’t stop thinking so much. Will he try to fix that habit for you? Will he try to break you of that? Good omegas don’t have to think, they know and they act. An omega with too many thoughts is too independent. Alphas don’t like independent omegas. They want someone to listen and do as they're told, not question their orders. 

You can’t help but sense the silent threat that radiates from him, the undertone of danger that has warning bells going off in your head. He’s been nice and polite and caring so far. 

How long will that last once you’re in the privacy of his home? 

It’s a nice neighborhood. Nicer than you’ve ever lived in, at least. The houses are big, the cars parked outside are nice, the lawns are pristine. It’s all very picturesque, it all feels very...manufactured. 

Phil drives to the end of the cul de sac, pulling into the driveway of one of the two houses facing the rest of the street. There’s an American flag hung up on the porch rustling with the soft breeze. It’s warm outside, something you haven’t missed. It’s been years since you’ve lived in Texas, ten almost. You had been eight years old when your father received his next change of station orders and your family packed up and moved again. 

That had just been shortly after Phil disappeared from your family’s lives. 

Phil pulls into the garage, parking the SUV next to a rather expensive looking classic sports car. You stare at it for a moment, questioning just what Phil does and how much he makes from doing it. You’re not sure you want to know. 

You fumble with the seatbelt as Bryan opens the door for you, blinking yourself out of your haze. He offers a hand and you let him help you out of the car to not seem rude. Phil gives you a small smile as you approach him. 

He cups your chin, staring down at your face. “Jet lagged?” He asks, his thumb stroking your jaw before letting you go. 

Jet lagged, confused, uncomfortable, unsure. All of the above. 

“Yes.” You nod. 

“Come on. I’ll give you a tour and then you can nap.” He says, slinging an arm around your shoulders. 

He opens the door into the house, unlocked, you note. The inside is nice. Clean, pristine, staged looking. You’re not sure if anyone even lives in the house. You can’t help but wonder if Phil bought this house just for this moment. 

“Cleaners come twice a week.” He says as he leads you around the first floor. “This whole space is yours, except for this room.” He says pointing out a door at the end of one hallway. “This is my office. Door’s always locked at all times. No one is allowed in besides me. You see anyone trying to get in, you tell me right away. Understood?” 

You nod. The idea of what could be behind that door has a shiver running down your spine.

“Good girl.” He says, booping your nose. “Now, for the best part.” 

He leads you upstairs, giving you a quick tour of guest bedrooms that don’t look like they’ve been touched, bathrooms far too clean to have ever been used. Why he needs so much space is beyond you. 

No, you know why. 

He leads you down to the end of a hallway, a door looming in front of you. You know what’s behind it. It’s what’s been clawing at you since the plane landed, since the drive from the airport, since you stepped foot in Phil’s home. Your home. 

It’s nice inside. Clean, well organized. It looks like a stage in a movie. The bed is large, larger than necessary you think. The comforter is a deep navy with nothing but the necessary amount of pillows on it. There’s a chair in the corner that doesn’t look like it’s ever been sat in. A TV hangs on the wall across from the bed and a dresser sits between two doors on the far wall. The closet and bathroom you assume. It’s spacious, but not comforting. 

That’s your job. 

“Don’t worry, you can add your womanly touch to it later.” Phil says, stepping up behind you. You can’t hide the way your body tenses as his hands slide up your arms. His breath fans over your ear as he leans down, pressing his face against your neck. “We’re going to make good use of this room.” His lips brush your throat, tongue darting out to lick your scent gland. He hums appreciatively. “Sweeter than I remember, those strawberries.” His arms wrap around you, pinning your back against his chest. “We were made for each other.” 

Your stomach clenches as his scent intensifies, blending with yours. You try not to panic as his lips drag up the side of your neck. There’s no stopping him. There’s no convincing him to wait. 

He presses his nose into your hair, taking a deep breath in. “Get some rest.” He finally releases you. “I’ve got some things to take care of, and I don’t doubt the girls will want to take you shopping.” 

“Girls?” You frown, turning to face him. 

“The other pack omegas. They’re excited to finally meet you.” 

Oh. You haven’t even thought about the pack or how big it is or its dynamics. Everything has happened so quickly, there’s been no time for discussions like that. You suppose you should have that conversation soon. Though, it’s been a long day already and he’s not wrong. You do need some rest. 

‘A good night’s sleep is essential for omegas to do their jobs effectively. No alpha wants a whiny omega.’ 

He brushes his hand over your hair, giving you a soft smile. “Take a nap. You look like you need one.” He presses a kiss to your forehead before he leaves, closing the door behind him. You stare at it for a long moment, half expecting him to change his mind, but you can hear him going down the stairs. You can hear everything in the silence of the house. It’s almost too quiet after the constant noise of the institute. There’s always someone talking, moving around, making noise. Even at night it was never truly quiet. 

Now the silence is almost loud in your ears. 

It won’t be silent forever. 

You stare at the bed, half tempted to just curl up on the floor. He would be mad if you slept in one of the guest rooms. He’d know immediately. You’ll have to brave the bed. Better to do it now than when you have no choice. 

“Look at you!” Hands squeeze your arms. There’s so many scents floating around you, yet it’s comforting. You’re among your own again. “Oh, you’re just a baby aren’t you?” 

Natalie, her name is. You had been introduced in a flurry of excitement, and you had lost track of most of their names. Doesn’t matter, you’ll learn them all eventually. 

Her alpha is Osmond, ‘Oz’ as he’d told you to call him, Phil’s second alpha. Not necessarily a large man, but highly intimidating nonetheless. You’d guess Natalie to be in her 30s, though you’ve never been good at guessing ages. 

“How old are you, sweetie?” She asks, squeezing your arms again. She’s trying to comfort you in your obvious state of overwhelm. 

“Eighteen.” You answer, staring up at her. 

Something flashes across her face, but it disappears as quickly as it arrived. “You are a baby.” She wraps an arm around your shoulders. “Come on, we’ve got a lot to cover and we’ve got some errands to run.” 

There’s a lot of omegas. Phil had finally broken down the pack and its dynamics over a late lunch, even introducing you to a few members on your way to Oz’s house. You had your suspicions that Phil was pack alpha, and you were right. His presence, the kind of power he radiates. You’re going to be the head omega once Phil has claimed you. Natalie has been serving that position, as second alpha’s omega. 

You’re not sure you want to take it from her. 

They’re all older than you, if by only a couple of years. You do feel like a baby in their midst, so unprepared and unsure. It’s natural to feel that way, you were taught. There’s a shift, a change in dynamics, an adjustment period in the pack when a new omega is added. 

Why couldn’t Phil have just been the family alpha type?

“Phil says you’ve known him for a while.” Anna, Marcus’ omega, says. 

You nod. “He was friends with my dad when he was stationed in Fort Worth.” 

“That was a while ago.” Jenny says. 

“About ten years.” You say. 

Silence falls in the room for a moment. It’s a tense silence, speaking volumes of their understanding and the realization of the situation. They won’t say anything. They can’t say anything. 

“Well,” Natalie says, breaking the silence. “We’re glad you’re here. If you need anything at all, you’ve got us now.” She wraps her arms around you again. She reminds you a bit of your mother, perhaps if your mother hadn’t been constrained by the controlling nature of your father. “All omegas truly have is each other, right?” 

The others agree with her, and you can’t deny it. What do omegas really have? Nothing their alphas don’t want them to have. Nothing parents, institutes, anyone in control don’t want them to have. 

All we really have is each other. 

“I mean it.” Natalie says. “Anything at all.” 

They are excited to take you shopping, despite the heaviness of the conversation that had transpired. They spoil you, throwing bags and bags in the back of the SUV, brushing off any concerns about money. Anything you want or need, you get several of them. It’s overwhelming after never getting anything but the bare necessities and what the institute wants you to have. 

Marcus, one of the higher ranking alphas in the pack, follows everyone around like a security detail. You had been concerned upon hearing only one alpha was accompanying you...until you saw Marcus for the first time. He’s big. Very big. Tall and bulky, he’s the perfect specimen of an alpha. Many young omegas’ dream alpha. Marcus is intimidating, letting off a dangerous air which causes most that pass your group to not even give you a second glance. 

He escorts your small group around, offering up no question or complaint. You almost wish he was going to be your alpha, but then again, you know almost nothing about him. You don’t even really know that much about Phil. Most of the things you know are things you overheard from conversations he had with your father. But how trustworthy are those things, really? You hadn’t understood much until now. Now it all makes sense. 

A lot of things make sense now. 

Natalie stands with you on the sidewalk as Marcus and Bryan carry load after load of bags into Phil’s house. Your house. You’re scared for what’s coming tonight. Phil won’t wait. He won’t put things off, he won’t hold off until your first heat. He’ll want to make things official now, stake his claim as soon as possible. He’s waited ten years for this. 

Natalie smiles softly down at you, a knowing look in her eyes. “Nervous?” She asks, picking up on your uneasy energy. 

You nod, trying to stop the tears from pooling in your eyes. Good omegas serve their alphas, no matter what. 

“I know what that’s like. I was scared shitless too.” She laughs quietly. “I think Oz was just as nervous too. Just relax and breathe. Phil will take care of you. That I can be confident about.” Her smile turns almost bittersweet. She knows. She understands. “You’ll be alright. I’ll come by tomorrow morning, okay?” 

You nod, trying to suppress your nervousness. Natalie will understand, though you’re not so sure Phil will. 

You look terrified as you stare at your reflection in the mirror. You bathed an hour ago and yet you still can’t quite bring yourself to leave the bathroom. You smooth your hands over the silk hugging your skin for the thousandth time. You’re shocked you haven’t worn through the thin fabric yet with your sweaty palms. 

Your eyes dart down to the sink, your stomach churning wildly as the bedroom door closes. Phil is back. You’ll have to leave the bathroom soon. You can’t spend the whole night behind the locked door. 

You don’t doubt he��d break it down eventually. 

Then he’ll be angry. 

You let out a long breath, curling your hands into fists to stop them from shaking. You have to do this. This is your job, your duty as an omega. Serve your alpha and make him happy. Be a good omega and do what he says. Obedience is an omega’s purpose. This is always what was going to happen, be it with Phil or with a stranger. Perhaps there is a small comfort in the fact you know Phil. You’re familiar with him. Why would he wait ten years for you just to hurt you? 

The little food you managed to eat churns uncomfortably in your stomach. Phil had treated you to dinner before he’d left again, giving you time to clean up and prepare yourself for tonight. For right now. 

You spritz more scent-enhancing perfume on your skin before you let out a long breath. You try to fix your face, not look quite so terrified, but you’re not sure you can hold it as you unlock the door, turning the knob. 

The light in the closet is on, the door half open. Phil must be in there, likely having to maneuver around bags. You’d unpacked some things and put them away, but you’d nearly had a breakdown when you reached the lingerie store bags. You’re wearing some of it now, the silk robe and little white number your fellow omegas had gotten you. Specifically for tonight, you think. You won’t be wearing it again. 

The closet door opens fully, Phil standing there in nothing but his jeans. His eyes trail your body as you stand there awkwardly in the middle of the room. His teeth sink into his lip, his scent thickening. You’re trying to look anywhere but at him but you can’t help the way your eyes are drawn to his form. He’s just as tall and muscular as you remember, more lean than bulky like your father had been. His skin is pale, though you can’t imagine him spending much time lounging in the backyard by the pool. Under the awning at the grill with a beer in hand as he used to do, that you can picture. 

“Look at you.” He says, turning off the light before stepping fully out of the closet. “All wrapped up like a present just for me.” 

You feel like vomiting as he approaches you slowly. You feel like a rabbit trapped in the sights of a hungry wolf, too afraid to run, too afraid to fight back. You’re going to be devoured and there’s no stopping it. 

You jump as his hand cups your face, your eyes darting up to his. There’s a soft look in them, an attempt at soothing your fear. There’s nothing he can do to make this easier, though, other than just get it over with. 

It’ll get easier. That’s what Anna told you. Eventually your omega will be happy, content with a good alpha and a pack. It’s just an adjustment. That’s why it’s recommended to wait when adding a new omega. Get past the adjustment period before reaching this stage. 

How do you stop an alpha that’s been waiting ten years? 

Most alphas don’t wait anyway. 

“Don’t be scared, darlin’.” He says, lips tilting up in a smile. “I’ll take good care of you.” 

His fingers tug at the ties of the robe around your waist, your heart thudding in your chest. You’re shocked he can’t hear it. It’s pulsing in your ears, nearly blocking out all sound as he pulls the tie free, revealing your lacy lingerie underneath. He lets out a low whistle as he pushes the robe off your shoulders, letting it drop to the floor. 

“Look. At. You.” He says, enunciating each word. His hands slide down your sides, brushing lace and smooth skin. “Can’t wait much longer.” He nearly groans, his gaze darkening. He steps up closer to you, your gaze locked on his. You can’t look down, you can’t stare at the tent in his jeans, you can’t stare at the bulge that’s brushing against your pelvis with every breath. “You ever done this before?” He asks. 

You shake your head, swallowing the lump in your throat. “N-No.” 

“No?” He raises a brow. “Not even a kiss?” 

You shake your head. 

“Pure little thing, all for me.” He nearly growls, pushing his body fully against yours. His hand cups the side of your neck, something tingling in the back of your brain as his fingers brush the sensitive skin on the back of your neck. 

You’re distracted from that tingle though as he kisses you, his lips rough against yours. You’re not sure what to do, but he doesn’t seem to care. His other arm wraps around your waist, pulling you tight against him. Your stomach is churning, not entirely from nerves anymore as his scent completely takes over, clouding your mind. Despite your nerves and hesitation, your omega purrs appreciatively. He smells good, like alpha. It’s exactly what your omega wants, what she’s been craving. 

“Fuck,” He groans against your lips, hands tugging at the lace covering your lower back. “So fucking sweet.” He bites at your lower lip, harder than you're expecting. You let out a quiet nose but that only seems to encourage him. 

He pulls away from you, turning you towards the bed. Your palms fall against the mattress to catch yourself. The comforter has been pulled down, your hands falling against the sheets. White sheets. 

Phil’s hands drag up your back until it reaches the top of the lace. He rips it easily, tearing it down the back before he pushes it off your shoulders. His hands run over your skin as he pushes the lace from your body, his back meeting your chest. His skin is warm against yours, his bulge pushing up against your ass at this angle. 

“Sweet little omega.” He growls, pressing his face into your neck, inhaling deeply. “All for me. All mine, aren’t you?” 

“Yes, alpha.” You say, fingers curling into the sheet beneath your hands. 

He hums appreciatively, nipping at the skin over your scent gland. You can’t help but begin to feel a stirring in your stomach. It feels good, despite everything. Your omega is growing complacent, the promise of what’s coming not nearly quite so frightening. 

It gets easier. 

Phil’s hands rest on your stomach, pushing your body tight against his. “Can’t wait for your next heat.” He groans, pushing his hips against your ass. “Gonna pump you full until it takes, give you a pup like you’ll be begging for. Keep you pumped full, just like your mama, huh. You’ll give me a big pack, won’t you?” 

You’re glad he can’t see your face as he holds you there, your eyes glued to the white sheet in front of you. You desperately fight back the tears blurring your vision. 

“Yes, alpha.” 

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[pomefioredove]

hey so can I possibly have a scenario where Azul reveals his octopus form to his s/o and s/o is surprised, but doesn’t mind it. When he keeps being unsure and hides under water, s/o just dives into the water right next to him and kisses him under water? They can’t breathe under water unlike Azul being human.

this is so sweet!! I hope you don't mind, I did a fic instead of headcanons cause it felt right to me

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ "I'd owe you"

summary: in the context of a first kiss type of post: short fic characters: azul additional info: romantic, reader is gender neutral, reader is yuu, established relationship

It's not that Azul is nervous.

Of course not. He's long gotten over the "crush" phase of your relationship. No more butterflies or blushes when he sees you, and for the better.

You're... a part of his life now.

He's not a fool, though.

He knows that each phase of the relationship comes with a different test to pass. And he has passed; the butterflies, the blushing and stammering, the confession, the first date, all with flying colors and his usual bravado.

Now, a month in, he knows the next is imminent.

He is NOT nervous!

He wants to... to be prepared, that's all. But he can't put it off forever.

"Is this strange for you?" he asks, neck-deep in the water.

You, beautiful, effervescent in the moonlight, are sitting on the dock, kicking your legs back and forth. It's high tide, and dark. "No,"

Somehow, in his mind, he thought this would be fine.

"Are you certain? We could go back to school, if you'd like," he says, hopeful you'll change your mind.

"I'm sure," Damn it.

"You haven't let me see you yet, anyway."

Damn it, damn it. Was being in the water in his natural form not enough?

Azul curses himself again. He did agree to this, foolish as it was.

Hesitantly, he lifts one, just one tentacle out of the water. He's trying very hard to keep calm, but he feels like he's being crushed.

You don't react. At all. No teasing, sure, but no reassurance, no smiling, not even that look of awe you so often have. He suddenly feels much colder than the water, and, without thinking, goes to hide.

Again.

The last thing he sees are your eyes, widened in surprise, and then he's underwater.

Azul knows he'll have to come out eventually. He can't just leave you alone on the dock. And he has an exam first thing in the morning, anyway.

But for now, he'd like to wallow. And so he will.

Of course, he should have known better than to think he'd get away with that. In seconds, the surface tension of the water breaks, his calm interrupted by you, you, of course you, suddenly with him.

Azul wants to say something, he wants to hide, but before he can even move, your hands are on his cold cheeks. And then, as if it were the easiest thing in the world, you're kissing him.

The world stops.

For the first time in a long time, he doesn't know what to do.

So, he lets you lead. It's... sort of nice. In a way. Then it sort of feels like you're holding your breath, which is a little- oh, right.

He comes back to his senses, grabs your shoulders, and swims you to the surface.

"Look at you," he sighs. "You're shivering. We need to get you back to school before you catch something."

You say nothing. You're smiling.

Azul sighs again. It's like you hadn't heard a word he said. "Too late for that, then. What are you staring at?"

"You're beautiful,"

His hearts stop. He doesn't respond; if he tries, he knows he'll just make a fool of himself.

Of course. After he was so confident he'd left this awkward phase behind, you manage to give him butterflies all over again.

Finally, he clears his throat. "...Thank you,"

"...But don't think that'll excuse you from drying off and getting warm. I won't have you sick on my behalf. I'd owe you."

Your smile warms with something he recognizes, but can't think of now.

"I think you already do,"

[lucystark12]

oh good god please stop

i propose an alternative...

lets look at the context of these three scenes, shall we?

scene 1: max and lucas

this is lucas referring to max's depression and her distancing herself from the party as a result. this is something very tangible and real that could be found in a real life conversation between two people in a relationship. the context of this would make sense if you put it in any other kind of movie. in scene one, lucas is displaying his care for max as an individual and for her feelings. he is there for her in her everyday emotional pursuits.

scene 2: mike and el

this happens during the monologue when mike is quite literally using his words and the fact that he is physically there for her to help her save the world. TO. HELP. HER. SAVE. THE. WORLD. mike infact wasn't there- nor does he clearly have any desire to be- for her throughout the nine months where they were on the opposite sides of the country. he literally is only able to have this conversation (if you could even call it that) with her when THE WORLD IS ENDING. hello.

scene 3: steve and nancy

once again- DIRE CIRCUMSTANCES. nancy was literally just vecna'd. she was just put into a trance by vecna, prompting steve to say this to her. listen to urself.

the fact that the two debatable couples of the trio are only saying this to each other in something so absurd as a supernatural monster attacking the girl in said scenario whereas lucas and max are having a very real and tangible conversation about every day issues- not lucas being there for her specifically because she's dying, but because he cares about her and her feelings- should say it all.

i'd also like to add the fact that steve/mike say this to nancy/el when they're practically incapacitated and can't respond. el can't because she's fighting vecna, and nancy is calming down from coming out of a vecna trance. they can't respond. they can't say there piece. max was able to do that in her conversation with lucas because they are in a healthy relationship where both sides of the equation are valued. if this phrase is to mean anything, it's not a stretch to assume that nancy and el's lack of ability to voice their thoughts is a direct metaphor for the fact that their voices aren't/weren't being heard in the relationship with the other person.

my last point: by this logic... WHERE IS JOPPER? jopper is the only couple that, as of now, is basically 100% canon. there's a chance the love triangles could go the other way and a chance max won't wake up. if this is "code for endgame couples" then where is the show's only couple that's actually going to be endgame for sure?

[soberpluto]

Examining Neptune's Spell

Apologies for not being here after so much time, but now I'm back and very thrilled to share this with you all! I'm hopeful many can find this helpful.

Unnecesary context aside, just recently I was having a long and deep conversation with a friend of mine about my semi-recurring mini existential crises. After hearing me patiently, with the dear intention of making me realize I was drowning in my tiny glass of water, he simply (and brilliantly) replied:

"I think you're problem is that you have unrealistic expectations about yourself."

Any attempt to blurt out in self-defense ceased instantly because of how deep these words sunk in my mind. I stared into the wall before for me and felt how the missing puzzle piece finally dropped into the perfect spot. Obviously, the thought of having my sun in Cancer and Neptune in almost exact opposition popped inside, and it took a WHOLE new dimmension. How could this statement not be true?! OF COURSE he was right! It's not that I wasn't told that before or haven't read about it multiple times in my astrology studies, but the truth is, (a very Neptunian thing now that I think about it) I didn't believe it quite applied to me. Because I don't like to feel mediocre and because I think of myself as a spiritual and highly self-aware woman, I was convinced that holding myself to "unrealistic standards" was definitely NOT the reason that triggered me to want fleed to a desert islands at times when reality felt like too much. It was bitterly humorous when I realized I evidently missed the fact that Neptune was making a hell of a job doing what he does best: casting its spells of illusion and glittery distorted beliefs about how things were "supposed to be" in a surprisingly unadverted way into my life. I was truly relieved to actually understand (or accept, better said) why trying to have a simple and happy life seemed too tricky at times. It all made sense.

Now, let me introduce Neptune, if you happen to be unacquainted.

Neptune in astrology is like the ultimate dream weaver, spinning a web of intuition, imagination, and mystery. It’s the planet of all things ethereal, where reality gets a little blurry, and you’re invited to dive into the deep end of fantasy, spirituality, and idealism. Neptune whispers, "What if?" and suddenly, we're seeing the world through a kaleidoscope of possibilities, but a "little" foggy on the details. We're all influenced by Neptune one way or another, but when it touches personal planets or points in our charts, it’s like life hands us a pair of customized rose-colored glasses, but the prescription is way off. Suddenly, everything feels a bit magical, like we're starring in your own fairytale, except the castle is made of mist, the prince might just be a mirage, and that enchanted forest? It’s actually a parking lot.

But why bother making us feel loony? On a more serious note, our master illusionist possesses the higher purpose of awakening our connection to something greater than the everyday grind. It gently pulls us out of the rigid boundaries of reality and whispers, "There’s more to life than meets the eye." It invites us to explore the depths of our imagination, spirituality, and compassion, blurring the lines between self and universe. The illusions it creates are really a nudge to dissolve our ego’s grip, helping us see beyond the material and embrace a higher sense of love, creativity, and unity with the cosmos.

As inspiring and touching as it sounds, the catch is that fulfilling Neptune’s mission can feel like chasing fog—just when we think we’ve got a handle on it, it slips through our fingers. Neptune wants us to transcend reality and connect with the divine, but let’s be real: that’s not exactly a day-to-day, grocery-list-friendly goal. For someone with heavy Neptune influence, this pursuit of higher meaning can be disorienting, leaving them feeling lost in a sea of "what ifs" and "maybes." And thanks to its grandeur idealism, it can push people to be hypersensitive, highly fearful of failure and completely inaccurate with what they may achieve in a day, let alone a lifetime!

For a Neptunian, the intuitive desire to be flawless and sufficient does not come from wordly expectations, but from a place of soulful calling that more often unconsciously than consciously tells them they're limitless beings living in a limited reality. And this is exactly the greatest challenge of all: to accept that the truth must be known while respecting the illusion, just as a spiritual teacher Michael Mirdad states.

That said, you can imagine what happens when mystical and whimsical Neptune gets cozy with your personal planets. Let's see in detail how it sprinkles its glitter them:

Sun

Soft Aspects: With soft aspects, your Sun is shining brighter than ever! Neptune sprinkles fairy dust on your creativity and confidence, making you feel like a superstar in your own musical. It’s all about embracing your spiritual side and believing that you can conquer the world—cape optional!

Hard Aspects: You’re the artist of your own identity, but the canvas keeps shifting. One day you’re an astronaut, the next day you’re a poet, and by the end of the week, you’re contemplating becoming a full-time mystic. Neptune tells you, "Be everything," but sometimes that just leaves you wondering, "Who am I, really?"

Moon

Soft Aspects: Your emotions flow like a gentle river, and you’re tuned in to everyone’s feelings like a super empath (you could be a cool wizard/witch or clairvoyant!). Neptune wraps you in a cozy blanket of intuition, making heartfelt connections feel like a warm hug from the universe. Cue the happy tears!

Hard Aspects: Enter the emotional whirlpool! Neptune can stir up your feelings like a cosmic blender, leading to mood swings and a general sense of overwhelm. You might find yourself daydreaming your way through real-life emotions, and good luck figuring out what you actually feel!

Mercury

Soft Aspects: With Neptune’s gentle nudge, your thoughts become a beautiful symphony! Communication flows like honey, and you’re bursting with creative ideas. It’s a fantastic time for writing, brainstorming, or chatting about all things magical and dreamy! You could be a music lover, a great singer or a romantic poet.

Hard Aspects: But when Neptune goes rogue, it’s like trying to read a recipe in a funhouse—everything’s upside down! Your thoughts get scattered, and communication feels like a game of telephone gone wrong. Get ready for misunderstandings and the occasional “Wait, what did you just say?” This aspect looks very similar to a Piscean or Sagittarian Mercury, a common link to ADHD.

Venus

Soft Aspects: Love is in the air! Neptune turns your romantic life into a whimsical fairy tale, where everything feels enchanting. Your heart opens wide, and connections deepen, making even the smallest moments feel like a scene from a rom-com.

Hard Aspects: But hold on! Neptune might have you wearing those rose-colored glasses a bit too tightly. You might find yourself idealizing partners or being swept away by fantasies, only to crash back to reality when things don’t match your dreamy expectations. Ouch!

Mars

Soft Aspects: With Neptune in your corner, your drive becomes a creative spark! You’re ready to take action with a burst of inspiration, making you feel like a superhero on a mission. Time to tackle those goals with flair and imagination!

Hard Aspects: When Neptune throws in a twist, it’s like trying to run through quicksand. Your motivation might wane, leaving you confused about where to focus your energy. It’s a cosmic case of “I had a plan… what was it again?”

To wrap it up after such long post, living with Neptune’s influence means you’ve got a backstage pass to the land of dreams, creativity, and big feelings. But it also means you might find yourself getting tangled up in illusions, setting sky-high standards that real life simply can’t meet. So when Neptune touches your personal planets, just remember: it's okay to dream big, but keep a little reality check in your back pocket. You can chase those rainbows, but don’t forget to pack an umbrella for when they dissolve into rain.

Thanks so much for reading, love you! 🥰

Written by @soberpluto

[chronicsyd]

I think the issue I'm having with people already holding the sentiment that "Caitlyn's an irredeemable asshat and Vi's better off without her" is mainly the sheer lack of Context that we've been given about this situation as a whole (leaving the people who've seen the leaks out of this per usual). Because in reality, the only Real context we've gotten is Vi's side of the fallout of whatever happened between the two. Everything else is just sheer speculation that we've gotten from the trailer.

Because with this line of thinking we should have held the same sentiment after Vi leaves Caitlyn back in "Oil & Water", but we don't. At least not from what I've seen. But the reasoning behind this is very simple, as a viewer we've been given context about how Vi operates, how she thinks and feels so calling Vi an "irredeemable asshat" for leaving Caitlyn doesn't make sense in this regard, even if she's hurting Caitlyn as a result by doing this.

Hell this line of thinking even follows for Vi hitting Powder back in episode 3. Was it wrong for Vi to do? Yes, but as a viewer we've been given the context that Vi lashes out when she's angry and was dealing with an overwhelming amount of emotions after watching what happened to her family. So throwing out that Vi's an "irredeemable asshat" after this doesn't follow either, even if we've seen Powder change for the worse as a result of what happened.

Now why do I bring all this up? Well, it's because of what I've said before. We're missing the context of what happens building up to the scene, or the scene itself, or even how Caitlyn's thinking or feeling at this point, because she's going to behave differently than how we've seen her in S1. We have speculation that her grief and revenge for Jinx is probably going to make her more cold hearted and closed off (mirroring how we saw her behave facing off against Jinx back in episode 9). But that's just the thing, those are speculations, we don't have anything truly confirmed about what happens. So is Caitlyn going to do something wrong that hurts Vi as a result? Most likely. But I at least can't behave like Caitlyn's irredeemable or undeserving of Vi until I actually see what's going on or how Caitlyn behaves after all of this has transpired.

This also falls into a discussion of what someone can claim as Truly "irredeemable". Because hurting someone you care about is a cause for a negative reaction from people, I won't argue with that; but I wouldn't claim it as something that's truly irredeemable or something you can't come back from If you put the time/work in to reflect on your actions and apologize for how your actions have hurt the person that you care about, which is something we're probably going to see from Caitlyn as the season progresses.

And to be honest, people saying "I've seen the leaks and you're not gonna like her" means NOTHING to me because 1) that's Your opinion on the matter and 2) the show itself has still shown us Nothing so essentially your word means nothing to me at this point and time.

(Not gonna lie but i feel like we're going into the same "Miles vs Gwen" discussion here)

[novaursa]

https://youtu.be/SAxxvlU4o8M?si=A4kzQAl-VmQXZ90V

Can you write this scene but reader!targaryen is married to Oberyn Martell? 👀

Sunspear's Flame

- Summary: You arrive with Oberyn to the capital for the royal wedding. But that was not all you came for.

- Paring: targ!reader/Oberyn Martell

- Note: The reader is the younger sister of Rhaegar that survived Robert's Rebellion, as she lived in Sunspear during it.

- Rating: Mature 16+

- Tag(s): @sachaa-ff @alyssa-dayne @oxymakestheworldgoround

- A/N: Without further context beyond the link and in attempt stay close to the canon world of ASOIAF/GOT this was the best I could do.

The heat of the Red Keep presses down upon you like the grip of a dragon’s talon, familiar and suffocating. The sun hangs high, casting the shadow of the city’s walls across the cobbled streets as your party makes its way toward the gates. The last time you saw the capital, it was burning under the rebellion’s fury, and now, it simmers with the fevered anticipation of another royal wedding.

You ride beside Oberyn, his dark eyes scanning the city with the sharpness of a blade. His grip on the reins is steady, but you sense the tension thrumming beneath his composed exterior. His fury is always close to the surface when it comes to matters of your family and Dorne's losses. And you—Y/N Targaryen, daughter of Aerys and Rhaella, sister of Rhaegar—bear a tempest of your own, carefully concealed behind your gaze. The memories of your brother’s fall, of your family’s ruin, burn like wildfire beneath your skin.

The Martell delegation rides in colors of red and gold, the sun and spear of Dorne vivid against the sky. Your children, seated on smaller mounts, ride behind you, their faces drawn with the solemnity of the occasion. The streets are lined with onlookers, their whispers threading through the air as you pass, a symphony of curiosity and unease. House Martell has not come to King’s Landing since the war, and now, your presence is a reminder of old wounds yet to heal.

As you approach the towering gates, you see the Lannister banners flapping in the breeze. The city guards, clad in crimson cloaks, stand rigid, watching your approach with wary eyes. And there, at the entrance, you catch sight of him—Tyrion Lannister, flanked by his sellsword Bronn and a small entourage of the royal court. The Imp’s sharp gaze meets yours, a flash of recognition crossing his features before his lips curl into a sardonic smile.

“Prince Oberyn, Lady Y/N,” Tyrion calls out as you dismount, his voice carrying over the murmurs of the crowd. “King’s Landing is honored by your presence.” His tone is courteous, but there is an undercurrent of wariness, as if he is bracing for the storm he knows you carry.

You step forward, your gown—a deep, Targaryen black edged with the orange of Dorne—whispering against the stones. Oberyn is at your side, his presence a blazing sun to your cool flame. “The honor is ours, Lord Tyrion,” you reply, your voice steady. “It has been too long since we have graced the capital with our presence.”

Tyrion’s mismatched eyes flick between you and Oberyn, his smile tight. “Indeed. I trust your journey was uneventful?”

A smile, sharp as Valyrian steel, tugs at Oberyn’s lips. “For the most part. Though the closer we came to the city, the more it stank of Lannisters and Tyrells. A reminder of the filth that needs to be cleansed.”

There is no mistaking the venom in his words. The guards bristle, hands inching toward their weapons, but Tyrion merely raises a placating hand. “Prince Oberyn, let us not mar this joyous occasion with hostility. We are all here for the same reason, are we not? To celebrate my nephew’s wedding.”

Oberyn’s gaze darkens, and you feel the shift in his stance, the barely restrained fury that has always burned within him since Elia’s brutal death. “Are we, Lord Tyrion? Perhaps Dorne comes with another purpose.”

Silence falls, the tension thick and stifling. Tyrion’s eyes narrow, his voice dropping to a near-whisper. “What purpose might that be?”

“To see justice done,” you interject, your voice ringing clear as a bell. You step closer, your gaze fixed on Tyrion. “For what was done to my family. To my brother, to my sister-by-marriage. To their children.” The words are knives, each one thrown with precision, and Tyrion flinches, just slightly.

Oberyn’s hand finds yours, a brief, fierce squeeze that grounds you. “Dorne remembers, Lord Tyrion. And we do not forgive or forget. I am here to ensure that the wrongs against my family are set right.” His eyes flick to you, then back to Tyrion. “And to remind you all that there is a true heir to the throne, one with the blood of dragons and the sun.”

Tyrion’s gaze shifts between you and Oberyn, calculating. “I see.” His voice is measured, the mask of the diplomat slipping back into place. “You know, there are many in this city who would see your claim contested, Lady Y/N. Many who believe that Robert Baratheon’s victory was… final.”

You meet his gaze, the fire of your blood rising. “The usurper is dead. His bastards are dead. And his children are no more than the spawn of incest and lies. The people will see the truth in time.” You take a step closer, feeling the weight of generations behind you, the legacy of fire and blood. “We have come to support the rightful claim, and we will not be silent.”

Tyrion studies you for a long moment, then inclines his head. “Your words are bold, Lady Y/N. But bold words often lead to sharp ends in this city. I hope you and your family will find your stay here… comfortable.”

“Comfort was never our aim,” Oberyn cuts in, his smile dangerous. “But I appreciate your concern, Lord Tyrion. Rest assured, Dorne can take care of itself.”

The anomasity is palpable as the two men lock gazes, a silent battle of wills. Then, with a slight bow, Tyrion steps back, gesturing toward the gates. “Welcome to King’s Landing, Prince Oberyn, Lady Y/N. May your stay be… eventful.”

You and Oberyn exchange a glance, and he gives you a small, reassuring nod. This is only the beginning. The game has begun, and the pieces are in place. As you step through the gates of the city that was once your home, you feel the stirrings of something ancient and powerful within you.

Fire and blood. Justice and vengeance. You are a Targaryen, and this is only the first move.

[unwillingtoreachout]

So.... As the resident English lit Andrew truther I bring you Andrew's curated list of outstanding literature (also this is very much compliant with Yield To It which is my au where Andrew's a literature major)

(side note: I personally think Andrew's a snob and has his own beef with American literature so he reads a lot of european literature)

Anyway....

Crime and Punishment by Dostoevsky (very self explanatory, although I think he would enjoy The Brothers Karamazov as well)

Emma by Jane Austen (I think he likes to argue that Emma is the superior Jane Austen book even though he really likes pride and prejudice bc mr Darcy just hits different)

Wuthering Heights by Emily Brontë (I also think he would like the beginning of Jane Eyre but not the ending)

The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde (I feel like every queer person who's into literature had a picture of Dorian Gray phase, also it's where the title "yield to it" comes from)

Giovanni's Room by James Baldwin

The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas (also kind of self explanatory bc it's a book about revenge and it makes sense in the context of the au)

Les Misérables by Victor Hugo (the jean valjean reference)

The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (very much a book about adults not understanding children which I think he would relate to. Also the little prince befriends a fox in this book and I think that whole part reminds him of Aaron)

The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger (the second American book on the list and also the most red flag book yippeeee. I put it here bc I think he would relate to Holden's desire to protect children's innocence, given his background)

ALSO, Neil works in a bookstore so he reads stuff occasionally (but it's really random bc idk) so these are the books I think he would read:

Little Women

The Outsiders

The Odyssey

Anne of Green Gables

[not-a-space-alien]

I think it annoys me when people call their pets a "fur baby" not because pets aren't important or because I don't think it's right to have that level of emotional attachment to an animal. But because it feels like that person is incapable of conceptualizing an emotional attachment outside of the context of a traditional nuclear family and therefore the pet must be slotted into the "baby" role for it to be meaningful. People are just so so bad at having relationships with animals in a way that doesn't anthropomorphize the animal to hell and back and it really shows in the way people talk about their animals. The words we use to refer to them are ultimately harmless but does this person understand their dog and cat don't have human thoughts and emotions? Do they understand their animal has needs and wants and brain functions that won't make sense to a human? Do they understand the value of the animal isn't in how closely it models human behaviors and human ideas of what's desirable behavior? Do they understand its way of thinking and needs aren't human (but that doesn't make them worthless)? Half the time I'm not so sure.

[h-sleepingirl]

Thoughts on "Hypnotic Agnosticism"

I'm in a weird place spiritually because I really want nothing more than transcendent, hard-to-explain experiences -- which I have HAD -- but saying I have confidence that they are "real" (or acting like that's part of my worldview) is like impossible.

Like I'm sitting here and idly thinking "I would guess generally being open to 'woo' can facilitate more intense hypnotic experiences." But I feel like I can't fully buy into magical thinking(?) (and I also include "science"/pseudoscience like NLP in that!).

For example at a hypnosis event, we introduced ourselves with something other people may not know about us; I said "I believe in xyz" where xyz is a certain mystical concept. But, DESPITE EXPERIENCES RATIFYING THAT BELIEF over the weekend, I find myself with a lot of doubt and skepticism.

It feels similar to how NLP is bs but useful when you work within its own model; it makes sense in its own context and you can get pretty far with it. My various spiritual beliefs are "real" in that way, but on a more zoomed-out scale, I really just don't know what is what.

I guess this is basically a kind of agnosticism which is fitting for me to not know things (being a bimbo) and also to sit balanced between multiple models (being sleepingirl). But it's confusing and also pretty tiring on some level!

I do think parsing this out makes me think about agnosticism as my ideal "model" for looking at hypnosis. A measured, skeptical acceptance of all models as useful, maybe. But also maybe even a healthy balance of both skepticism and reverence for hypnosis itself.

I've been doing hypnosis for 15 years now, which feels impossible. But I am also genuinely constantly surprised by it and I think part of that is because maybe I don't fully believe it's real! BUT/AND I desperately want and am open to its intense experiences.

Maybe this ties into curiosity/surprise as being some sort of necessary ingredient for intense experiences like this? I am not sure where I'm going with this but I'm thinking a lot about the spiritual overlap, anyways.

[emeryhiro]

Hello!

I am new here and is feeling very overwhelmed right now with that is happening in the caryl fandom. I appreciate your insight into these characters. I am someone who has not seen Daryl Dixon season 1 and is seriously considering if I should even watch it with all that is being said about s2.

Reading all the early reviews that has dropped - I get a lot of mixed reactions to Isabelle's character. Some ppl say she was the best part about season 1 while others don't even mention here in their reviews. The caryl fandom is largely, understandably, biased against her.

I do not know anything about Isabelle and was wondering what your thoughts about her are - how she holds up as a character?

Hi Anon!!

Thank you for your question. I'm really glad you asked this question, and thank you for the kind words🥰 I'm going to do my best to properly answer and share my thoughts on all the points you've mentioned.

Firstly, welcome to the fandom!! 💖 I'm sorry you've joined at a time of so much uncertainty, but I promise that at its core, this community is a beautiful place to be. But like all communities, there is always positivity and negativity, and it's important to be careful with what's surrounding you, ensuring it's a healthy balance that works for you.

I've divided my response into several sections, as I find that to be the best way to convey my thoughts. I also wanted to be as clear as possible since this is a sensitive topic for some, and I want to try to alleviate at least some of the worries.

A mild spoiler warning for a mention of something that happens in episode 1 of season 2.

Reviews on Season 2:

I wasn't planning on reading any of the reviews for season 2, but since you asked for my thoughts, I read all the articles that I could find so that I could give you an informed response. And one thing I advise is to always take reviews with a grain of salt (this includes my thoughts as well) because, ultimately, they're all based on the writers' opinions.

What I've found with all previous seasons of TWD, especially season 1 of Daryl Dixon, was that no single review I read aligned perfectly with what I thought of the show once I watched it myself. And I know I'll say the same about season 2.

Regarding what I read in the season 2 reviews, I don't think I've actually read a single concerning line in any of the ones I've come across, and I'm pretty sure I've read every single one that has been released. There are, however, a lot of people who, out of fear or concern, focus on single lines from a review that may sound negative or worrisome when taken out of context, and ignore everything else in the review that's purely positive.

I can see many people have shared their specific thoughts on different segments of several reviews, but I won't go into my thoughts here for the sake of keeping this response reasonable short. If you're interested in a detailed post about my thoughts on the reviews in general or any in particular, let me know, and I'll share it as soon as I get a chance.

My thoughts on Isabelle:

I found Isabelle to be a fascinating character with many layers. She is unquestionably flawed and has a great mix of both positive and negative characteristics, which I think is what gives her character so much potential. She's intelligent, driven, brave, headstrong, and very protective, but she's also undeniably manipulative, which makes sense when you think of it as a self-defence mechanism that she developed during her rocky life before the apocalypse. I'm also a fan of Clémence as an actress, and I think she's a great fit for this character.

This next bit might sound a bit contrevoursial but bare with me. I've seen Isabelle get a lot of hate for being manipulative towards Daryl, even I personally hated seeing Daryl be treated that way, but it's important to remember that we've also seen Carol behave manipulatively when she's had to in the past in order to protect the people that she loves. This is something you'll see Carol do once again in episode 1 of TBOC, and when I watched it, it made me uncomfortable, but ultimetly, I could see that it made Carol uncomfortable as well; she doesn't feel any satisfaction out of what she does and is willing to carry the weight of that lie and guilt to achieve her ultimate goal of saving Daryl, the person she loves.

Even though, on the surface, it's not an admirable thing to do, we appreciate Carol so much more because of the lengths she's willing to go to for the ones she loves, and we've also seen her journey to this point, which naturally makes us love her and empathise with her.

So my point here is that I can't judge Isabelle for the same behaviour I admire in my favourite character. Just like Carol may act that way to protect Daryl (her loved one), Isabelle was doing it because she believed (to the best of her knowledge) that it was what was best for Laurent (her loved one).

However, what doesn't sit right with me about Isabelle's character is that what the showrunners and writers have been saying about her doesn't align with what I've seen on screen (this is a great example of why I try to avoid looking at unnecessary publicity). I want to love her character for who she is, flaws and all, but the inconsistency in her publicity makes me feel like there's some discrepancy behind the scenes, and that has stopped me from investing in her character and gives me slight concern for the trajectory of her arc, which has so much potential that would be incredibly tragic if wasted.

The only other thing that I would disagree with (IF the show ends up going down that path) is the negative messaging that would be given out about nuns if every surviving nun on the show is portrayed as willing to forget her vows the minute there's a man in front of them that they find interesting. I'm not catholic, but I think that it would be incredibly disrespectful towards actual nuns and the sacrifices that they make for their faith. But please don't take this as fact because I don't think this will actually ever happen. I honestly don't believe that AMC or anyone involved with the show would knowingly do something like that. I'd be happy to explain this a little further, but I don't think it's relevant if you haven't seen the first seasons.

Watching TWD: Daryl Dixon S1 & 2

My question to you would be, what draws you to TWD/TBOC? Is it Caryl itself and potential canon? And if so, do you feel that you'd be left disappointed and/or unsatisfied with the potential lack of romance between the characters in season 2? Or, do you enjoy the show for a combination of things, like the character development, world-building, cinematography, etc.?

I want to emphasise that there is no wrong answer to the above. Everyone is unique, and it's 1000% understandable and fair for each person to have unique reasons for being drawn to and loving, hating, or even being indifferent about a show.

I personally fall in the latter category; I love TWD for its rich story, action sequences, cinematography, multitude of interesting characters, and the mind-blowing ways in which they have developed over the years (the whole package of the show is exactly my cup of tea), and of course, it's no secret if anyone looks at my blog that my favourite character (BY FAR) are Carol and Daryl. I absolutely adore them for everything they are, both as individuals and what they bring out in each other and mean to each other. And if Caryl is ever canon (which I expect would happen in season 3), then that would be the cherry on top of a show I already love.

My very short review of season 1 would be that I really enjoyed it and would rank it at the top between all the other spinoff seasons we've gotten so far. However, in all honesty, I still felt and noticed the hole that was left behind in the story with the absence of Carol, but knowing that she will be returning in season 2 kind of made up for that lack in season 1. All up, I really enjoyed season 1 and have watched it several times in the last year. I'm actually currently in the middle of watching it again in preparation for season 2.

My recommendations:

If you personally fall into the former category and, as mentioned above, feel that you'd be left disappointed and/or unsatisfied with the potential lack of romance between the characters in season 2, then perhaps it's better to wait till all the episodes are released to then decide if it's something that you'd like to watch.

If you're willing to accept and are okay with the potential lack of romance between Caryl in season 2 but are concerned about and would rather not watch any potential romantic relationship develop between Daryl and Isabelle, then I'd say that you should watch the season as it releases because I honestly don't believe that something like that is a real possibility. At most, there may be hints towards one-sided feelings from Isabelle's side and maybe some confusion from Daryl's side, but untimely, it would not mean or go anywhere. I'm personally not even bothered with this worst-case scenario because it doesn't matter how many people have feelings for Daryl or how confused Daryl is because I know that once he's reunited with Carol, there won't be any more uncertainty about where his heart and loyalties truly lie. There's honestly not a single ounce of me that's concerned about this.

If you're more like me and enjoy the show as a whole, even though you may be slightly disappointed with a few accepts, then I'd highly recommend that you watch season 1 before the release of season 2 (if you have the time), because it genuinely was a good season and will give you a lot of backstory and context that would make season 2 feel so much more enjoyable and immersive.

~~~~

Thanks again for your questions!! I hope this all makes sense and that it answers your questions. As I mentioned earlier, if you'd like me to expand on my thoughts on anything in particular, please let me know, and I'd be happy to do so.

My last bit of advice is this: I know it's easier said than done, but I urge you, especially as someone who's new to the fandom, to not allow a lot of different voices and opinions to shape how you naturally feel or invalidate what you take away from watching the show (not that I think that's what you're doing but this is the general advice I wanted to give just in case🩵). It's really easy for anyone to be influenced by negativity and positivity when they find that that's all they can see from the people around them.

I personally try to focus on what I see on screen and what I hear directly from Norman and Melissa because, at the end of the day, showrunners and writers come and go, but Norman and Melissa have embodied these characters from day one and understand them more than anyone else ever could.

♡♡♡

[ghost-whump]

hello!! I saw requests are open and would be willing to write something with this prompt?

a character goes back in time and finds their enemy being tortured. now everything they knew that happens in the future makes sense and the situation provides some much needed context to fill in the gaps…the only thing is, after rescuing their future enemy from the torture, their enemy has now devoted their loyalty to their rescuer.

(@whumpwillow)

hi!! this ask was apparently sent last year, but it had not appeared in my ask box until now…

but i’ll try my best almost a year later! buckle up, it’s a long one.

Monster

Villain was a tough person. Angry at the world and at Hero, specifically. They’d been hell bent on destroying the planet (a bit clichéd, if you asked Hero, but fair) for so long and with such passion, that Hero had gotten curious.

As a government employee, they had access to the top secret time machine. One thing leads to another and then,

“Please! I’m begging you, please…”

Villain, albeit a much younger version, kneeled on the floor. They couldn’t have been much older than a teenager, lanky and pale. Dressed in dirtied and torn clothes that were clearly much too small, Villain clutched onto the legs of a woman that stood over them.

“I’m sorry, r-really, I am. I’ll be good and quiet and I won’t hurt anything ever again, I promise! Let me out, for just a minute, please, I-!”

They were cut off with a sharp slap. Hero held back a gasp. Though they stood in a dark corner, obscured from both of their views, they couldn’t help but feel too close to the scene. Like they were watching something they shouldn’t.

The woman kicked her foot, sending Villain onto the cement floor with cry.

“Don’t touch me, rat!” She held aloft a tin can, labeled as a vague mystery meat. The kind one would keep in apocalypse rations or a weird, evil boot camp. It didn’t look appetizing. As if she just stepped in a sticky puddle, the woman soured, “I’ve told you not to talk me like that. You know you don’t deserve my mercy. Not until you get better.”

Villain whimpered and held their cheek. “Sorry… I…” They scooted backwards into the wall.

The woman, stepping forward into the dim light of the room, placed the can on its side and lightly kicked it in Villain’s direction. It rolled until hit their shin, but they didn’t pick it up. Watery eyes stared at it, fingers twitching, but made no move to pick it up.

At first, Hero thought they might be afraid of it.

Villain looked up at the woman, then back at the can.

With a small grin, the woman said, “Good boy… Good restraint.” Then, silence. It dragged on for a minute, maybe more. “You can have it now.”

Villain lunged for the can, which had rolled away a little. They clutched it with shaking hands, pulling it close to their chest. Barely above a whisper, they mumbled, “Thank you, Mom.”

Spinning on her heel, the woman stormed off. “Don’t call me that. I’m not your mother,” She spat, “Not anymore.”

Her steps retreated as she ascended a flight of stairs, confirmed Hero’s theory that they were in a basement. Their attention was turned back to Villain at the sound of growling. Expecting a wild animal or beast, they were shocked to discover that it actually came from the teenager in the room. They had the can in their hands and teeth, trying to gnaw it open.

While Villain did… that… Hero’s eyes wandered the room. In the opposite corner was a worn and stained twin mattress, a thin blanket, and a pile of identical empty mystery meat cans. None have been opened the proper way, all are smashed, chewed, or other variously destroyed states.

Hero couldn’t help but think, as would anyone, “Poor Villain.”

They couldn’t just stand around and watch them struggle.

Cautiously, remembering that this Villain we’re talking about, Hero stepped out of the shadows. When the kid didn’t look up, they softly cleared their throat.

Villain’s eyes jumped up, scrambling back. They held the can, now slightly dented, like a weapon. “Who— Who are y-you? Get out of h-here!”

“It’s okay. My name is Hero, I’m here to help you.” They held their hands up, palms open. They’re no threat.

“N-no. You have to get away… You- You… I’ll hurt you! You can’t be here, i-it’s not allowed!” With a cry, they hurled the can at Hero, who reflexively caught it mid-flight.

Considering the can, rolling it over in their hand a few times, Hero appraised the damage. “Here, I’ll open this for you.”

Under Villain’s watchful glare, Hero reached into their pockets and pulled out a knife. They didn’t miss the whimper that came across the room at the sight. Stabbing the lid of the can, they jimmied it off with relative ease. Not a perfect cut, like they’d get with a can opener, but not bad.

Hero lowered to the floor, placing the can down. There was still a good ten-feet of distance between them, so they slid it across the floor. Villain snatched it and used their hands to shovel the mushy brown slop into their mouth. Between bites, they briefly looked back up at Hero. “Thanks,” They grunted.

“Yeah. It’s the least I could do.”

A minute passed in silence, occasionally broken by the horrible sounds of Villain devouring the meat like a wild animal.

“Do you want to talk to me now?” Hero asked, taking the smallest step closer.

Taking a pause from licking the inside of the can, “What?”

“Why are you here, I mean. Forgive me for saying this, but a dirty basement isn’t exactly the place to keep a teenager.”

Villain curled their knees to their chest, placing the can woefully beside them. “Why do you care? I don’t even — I don’t even know who you are.”

“I’m Hero. And you’re Villain. I know more about you than you think.”

“‘Hero’ is a stupid name.”

They grimaced. Charming as ever. “You’ll come around to it.”

Villain crawled over to their bed. They deposited the can with the others and flopped onto the mattress. It seemed to hurt them. “If you’re going to do something, would you just get it over with? I’m tired.”

“…”

“Well? Does a kid with an attitude not get your rocks off? Need something less mouthy?” They commented with a sneer.

“Why would I-” Hero cut themselves off, feeling even grosser than they did before. They steeled their face and pressed on. “Look, I’m just going to get you out of here. I don’t care about an attitude or why you’re down here, this isn’t right.”

Villain chuckled, “Good luck. I can’t leave here. It’s not allowed.”

“Why isn’t it allowed?” They questioned, taking another step closer. They were nearly at the foot of the bed.

“‘Cus I’m a monster,” Villain spat, grimacing at the word. “I hurt things, I just can’t stop myself. Animals, people, whatever. I’m not allowed outside because I’ll kill something, like I killed my sister.” Their voice got quieter as they spoke, less and less snarky with each passing moment. “Besides,” they sniffed, “I don’t even want to leave. I have everything I need here.”

Hero nodded along, contemplating. “Then why did you beg your mother to leave?”

Villain blanched. “That’s… That’s not…”

Without further prompting, Hero bent down and plucked Villain off the ground with surprising ease. The kid was light as a feather. The kid yelped but didn’t struggle. “Nope. You’re coming with me. No arguments.”

This was probably not the smartest decision Hero had ever made. Damned the consequences, the timeline, whatever. Hero took an oath to protect those in need and, well, Villain seemed pretty in need.

They pressed a few buttons on the time-machine on their wrist and in a flash of light, they were thrust forward in time.

The weight of Villain was gone from their arms, causing them to panic. They were supposed to be coming with them, but they just disappeared!? What happened, what —

“Welcome back, Hero!”

They stumbled, losing their balance from the jump. A hard grabbed their arm, keeping them steady. Hero looked up at this stranger. They didn’t have any assistants, there shouldn’t be anyone here, there can’t be…

It’s them, with shorter hair and rectangular glasses, they wore a lab coat and held a clipboard. But this was…

“Are you alright, Hero? It’s me, Villain.”

woof, that’s a long one. i wasn’t sure if i was going to finish it. once again, sorry it’s been like a year (unless it’s new and tumblr is wigging out on me) but i hope this is done to a good degree.

thanks for reading :]

General Tag: @morning-star-whump

[greenerteacups]

Hopefully the scrambling thoughts in my head make sense here---but in the latest chapter, when Draco is shouting for Remus, Arthur, Molly, it's such a moment of panic that I realized I was kind of imagining him as younger, and then I remembered at this point the main cast are 16/15. And it's such a weird wild age where you are still half a child but on the cusp of adulthood and imagining 15 year old Draco, already taller then Narcissa, certainly taller then Molly and rapidly gaining on Remus and Arthur, having that realization that something *very bad* has happened and desperately calling out for the adults available to him made my brain itch.

Totally! He's still very young – the jump from 14 to 15 *feels* big because it usually marks a shift in one's stage of life, but the actual time elapsed isn't that much. Plus, it's the age when you're toggling between the desire for independence and the need for guidance from people around you; you do't want to need adult help, but you still default back to it when there's a situation beyond your power to control.

I also wanted to play with the fact that one of Draco's virtues in canon — and canon does not give him many — is that he's perhaps the one child in the main cast who seems to understand that he is, in fact, a child, and probably Should Not Have to Deal With This. When there's a problem or a fight, canon!Draco is the first person to run off and find a teacher; a foundational plot point in number one is him standing up Harry's duel, because he doesn't actually want to fight. He picks fights, obviously, but when it gets serious, he'll find the nearest authority figure. Which in many contexts is an indication of some degree of cowardice, but in other contexts — say, if you took a version of him that was a bit braver, possibly due to years of ritual practice and exposure to people who value it — that ability to swiftly calculate whether he is or is not suited to fuck with the present problem can be a pretty valuable thing. But this is my general philosophy of character, too — there's almost no character flaw that couldn't be a virtue, given the right conditions.

I'm so glad that you liked the chapter. :)

[lkinguscara]

I think when it comes to the "is leona a feminist" debate we're missing the broader context of why the narrative would push any ideology.

His disney counterpart is a very female centric character (even if unintentionally) who relies on women, yet he dominates them in his pride once he leads it. He's ultimately defeated by an ambitious, focused woman, and his regime is carried on similarly (twice) by a militaristic, ambitious woman. In real life lionesses are the hunters, and in the literal sense of home makers, a pride is only a pride when lionesses are involved, with just men it's called a "coalition" btw. This is probably the main reason why others see him as feminist, because women are woven into the fabric of his story and given attention, despite it being ultimately Leona's story. But then that's an arguement you could make, is it really feminism if it's not intentional?

What makes a feminist? In what context does it stop being feminism and rather a natural reaction in a gynocentric society?

Twst has a habit of exploring motivation over actions, and that's how (I think) people should address Leona's claims. Like for instance, Vil is obsessed with reaching a physical zenith of beauty, and that's portrayed as her being overly ambitious, which is what she uses to save Idia and Ortho. Although she's not the hero of book 5 like she is in book 6, her ambition is reframed as jealousy over being ostracized (in childhood) and passed over for roles. In the same book we learn that Niege has had an even harder life, and the fruits of his labor are manifested when he procures roles that Vil seemingly can't. The narrative isn't asking if Vil is wrong or right in her actions, but rather if her ambition should be considered as valid as Neiges. To twist real life phenomena and explore them through a lens of "cultural favoritism and privilege" is essentially the point of every conflict. Like, should Jamil be forgiven when given the full context of his situation, or why is it fine for the Shrouds to be punished for the actions of an ancient ancestor, aren't necessarily asked by the narrative, but rather why are these conflicting truths valid when seen from another, more socially acceptable perspective?

This, to me, is what's missing in the heart of the "Is Leona a feminist" debate. The story isn't asking for you to confirm if he is or isn't one, but rather to reflect on your real life understanding of feminism in regards to patriarchy. Leona is considered a feminist by fans in the sense that he allows women's feelings to take precedence over his own, and how they view him being important to him as well. He can blow off Kifaji, someone who seemingly raised him, but God forbid he miss a call from his sister-in-law (who he picks up for, but ignores the calls of his nephew.) His criticisms of women are always shallow observations or misdirection because he has an image to uphold. He's a feminist in the sense that he doesn't contest female supremacy in any meaningful ways, and that's a very loose (yet valid) definition of feminism.

Leona double speaks on the idea of being considered "extra nice" to women, but even his answer doesn't necessarily malign them in a way that would be seen unfavorably by beastmen society. From what we’ve seen, being aggressive, dominating, physically imposing, strong-willed, are traits that the best possess. (He even inadvertently criticizes his brother for lacking these traits by implying he’s not cunning and too friendly.) If anything, it makes sense for him to not want to incur the wrath of a demographic if he deemed them in any way above himself. After all, he doesn't mince words with those beneath him, or even on a similar level to him like speaking poorly of Kalim to his face or the constant bickering with Malleus! I don't think his exasperation with women is fake, it must be annoying having to submit to somebody placed above you unfairly, but these are regulations he imposes on himself. When considering how Leona behaves and what he believes, (only the fittest should rule/everybody has their strengths but others just have much more) it makes great sense that his view of women is influenced by their societal performance and their ability to serve him.

When you contrast traits that Leona finds noteworthy in women, you get this understanding of a "gender-flipped" society, and the real question that should be asked ends up being "is Leona's respect of women not valid because of the conditions that it exists under? What makes his feminism less realistic than someone who only pays women lip service without taking real action?" Like Vil, Jaml, and Idia, Leona's foil is somebody who exposes hypocrisy but also bridges a gap in understanding of societal expectations. 

So, in essence, I think the conversation should switch from "is Leona a feminist" (we're talking in circles) and move towards "What does he get from being one / does his motivation make his resolve less valuable?" (we can explore his actions and dissect his character further)

[bucksdaffy]

Oliver Stark's Social Media Activity

I’m not sure why I’m writing this. I’m not even certain if I’m supposed to think about it in such detail. My goal is not to psychoanalyze Oliver (though I’m aware that this is what I am going to be doing in some way). I don’t know him personally, and I don’t know his thoughts. I’m missing a lot of crucial information that is necessary to explain the way things are, so ultimately, I’m going to make many assumptions.

That being said, I’m not here to excuse or condemn Oliver’s behavior. I’m not here to tell you how you’re supposed to feel regarding his social media activity. I’m here to offer a perspective—a perspective that is ultimately my personal view and makes sense to me, but can have no bearing on Oliver’s reality.

This is going to be a long post. I wanted to gather my thoughts before the premiere because I feel that quite a few of my assumptions will be proven either right or wrong as season 8 progresses. I want to return to this post and see how accurate I was about certain things, so this post is mostly for my future self. You don’t have to read it!

Preliminary context

Oliver Stark is an actor portraying a character named Evan “Buck” Buckley on the TV series 9-1-1. As of Season 7, Buck was confirmed to be bisexual after experiencing his first same-sex kiss with Tommy Kinard (played by Lou Ferrigno Jr.). After the episode aired, Oliver expressed excitement and pride in portraying a bisexual character on several occasions, both in interviews and on his official Instagram account.

(x. x. x. x.)

Oliver has also spoken positively about (Buck)Tommy and Lou in his interviews.

(x. x.)

Oliver also recently uploaded a video to his Instagram story, reiterating how proud he is to be part of bisexual representation on TV. (x.)

So, what's the problem?

Many supporters of Buck’s current storyline with Tommy feel that Oliver is not as enthusiastic about it as he previously claimed, due to his silence on the matter on his official Instagram account.

After episode 7x04 aired, Oliver made an effort to like a couple of BuckTommy fan arts on Instagram. He also vaguely mentioned in a comment section that his favorite scene with Bobby in Season 7 was the one where Bobby, among other things, approved of Tommy as Buck’s partner, and he only interacted once with official BuckTommy content. Beyond that, there hasn’t been much else. At the same time, he seemed more engaged in sharing stills of Buddie (the fan-favorite pairing of Buck and his heterosexual friend Eddie) and liking some Buddie-related posts. I want to stress, though, that this, too, wasn’t a frequent occurrence.

As filming for Season 8 continues, Oliver hasn’t posted, shared, or liked anything related to (Buck)Tommy or Lou, even though it is known that Buck and Tommy will continue their relationship into Season 8. Fans have found this especially upsetting, as Buddie shippers use it as ammunition to suggest that Oliver doesn’t enjoy this storyline and would rather it finish quickly, projecting their personal feelings onto an actor because it’s easier that way. After months of constant harassment from Buddie shippers towards anyone showing support for Buck and Tommy’s relationship, it is quite disheartening for fans to realize they are on their own and that the actor involved doesn’t care to call out the problematic behavior of such a vocal portion of the fandom.

Oliver's history with the fandom

In the past, Oliver was active on Twitter, interacting with fans, reading their theories, and replying to their tweets. However, that is no longer the case. Oliver deactivated his Twitter account on May 22, 2021, following this series of tweets:

Here is some further explanation for why that happened.

Okay, what are you getting at?

Well, I guess here’s my perspective on this.

I think Oliver has spoken beautifully about Buck’s storyline, which began in Season 7. Although he has primarily emphasized Buck’s bisexuality (which is great—Buck’s sexuality isn’t tied to one person), he has also spoken positively about (Buck)Tommy and Lou, as mentioned earlier. He has never spoken ill of them, either officially or casually. We can also see how smiley and comfortable he appears around Lou in the Access Hollywood interview they did together. Overall, there’s no indication that Oliver harbors any negative feelings toward Buck’s current love interest or the actor portraying him.

I do, however, share the fans’ frustrations regarding his silence on Instagram. It is certainly disheartening to see Buddie shippers “rewarded” for their absolutely vile behavior toward anyone enjoying Buck and Tommy’s relationship. It’s especially frustrating that their behavior is not being actively called out; they continue to be unabashedly cruel because, aside from fellow fans, no one is there to criticize them. No message is a message, and Buddie shippers interpret this as an endorsement of their behavior, allowing them to feel comfortable spreading homophobic rhetoric.

This was particularly evident when, just last night, Oliver spoke out against people shipping him with Ryan. It reinforces the notion that he is aware of the comments being made on his Instagram and that of the show, yet he chooses not to comment on certain topics. I believe fans of Buck and Tommy's relationship have every right to be upset about this. Being selective about what you choose to call out sends a message, whether intended or not.

That being said, I personally think it’s still too early to jump to conclusions. I believe there are several factors at play regarding why Oliver doesn’t speak up about Buck and Tommy on his Instagram. During Season 7, he wasn’t even sure if Lou would extend his contract for the next season. It’s possible he didn’t want to make any kind of statement on something he wasn’t sure would last—which, in my mind, is completely fair. Given his concern about being accused of leading fans on, I’m not surprised he would choose to remain silent.

Additionally, as 7x06 ended with Buck and Tommy still together, and 7x09 opened with them still in a relationship—much to the disappointment of Buddie shippers—Lou began receiving a significant amount of hate online. Not only was he threatened, but his family was targeted as well. Following the end of Season 7, he withdrew from social media, and as of the premiere date, he still hasn’t returned. The filming of Season 8, particularly the big opener disaster that is about to unfold, has also been kept very hush-hush, along with the main characters’ personal storylines. Only recently did we receive official confirmation that Tommy would be back.

To me, it’s a no-brainer why he didn’t address Buck and Tommy’s relationship until the new Season 8 interviews. Furthermore, I believe he’s being respectful of Lou’s decision to stay away from social media (at least during this hiatus), just as everyone else working on the show has respected it. We’ll see if anything changes as Season 8 continues to air.

I also wouldn’t disregard the possibility that he might be protective of Lou, especially given the hate that all of Buck’s past love interests’ actresses have received. He may want to avoid exposing Lou to that kind of negativity—at least on their official Instagrams—keeping things relatively hate-free (though I won’t comment on whether I think that’s effective, but you can probably guess my stance). I believe this is also a valid reason for not promoting Buck and Tommy’s relationship much on his social media.

There’s also the point that Oliver is not responsible for the fandom’s behavior. Yes, his silence on the matter may encourage cruelty from the Buddie side, but Oliver has repeatedly tried to talk sense into them during interviews and while he was still active on Twitter. Unfortunately, those efforts didn’t help. Just like Tim Minear calling them out for sending him death threats didn’t yield any results. Sometimes, speaking up isn’t enough.

But hey! What better way to convey his perspective than through how the storyline of Season 8 unfolds? The fact that Oliver does not object to acting alongside Lou and that Buck and Tommy’s relationship continues into Season 8 should serve as sufficient proof that he’s fine with it. Yes, actors don’t decide on storylines, but they do have a say in them, and we know that Tim Minear doesn’t force anyone to do something they don’t want to do. I’m also confident that Oliver will continue to positively discuss Buck and Tommy’s relationship in his interviews. What he does on his Instagram account doesn’t and shouldn’t matter; it has no bearing on the show.

If my assumptions are correct, I believe that as Season 8 progresses, we will see Oliver becoming a bit more open to interacting with Buck and Tommy content on Instagram. To be honest, I don’t see any reason not to, unless things eventually go sideways or he truly doesn’t care about the Buddies’ hate (in which case, yikes). However, if he cares but still doesn’t speak up in one way or another, I can’t lie—I would feel a little disappointed. I value authenticity and the importance of speaking your mind while not allowing others to trample on your boundaries, and, it's probably my fault, but I currently hold Oliver to a high standard. It would be disappointing to me, to say the least, if someone didn’t adhere to these values. I do acknowledge that this is just my perspective, though; I don’t speak for the entirety of the fandom—I speak for myself.

That said, I wouldn’t blame him if he decided to turn off or limit the comments or even got a social media manager and stopped engaging with any content, whether it be Buddie or BuckTommy. Honestly, for his peace of mind, I actually wish he would. I’d prefer any approach over being selective in favor of a loud portion of the fandom that engages in harmful behaviors.

All in all, the prospect of Season 8 makes me hopeful that we will see a change. However, if we don’t, let’s remember what matters most: the show itself. Ultimately, that’s how we, BuckTommy fans, are being rewarded—by having canon. That's what truly counts.

[caladriusposts]

hiya iydm could talk about your quirk in your dr :)

yes!!Here’s a brief summary of my quirk,lets start with the basics ᯓ

my quirk type is an emitter/mutant that also has aspects linked to my emotional well being,its called icy blessings (i let izuku pick the name in our first year,it used to be called icy water but i hated that).

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I have two quirks that merge together,my first quirk is water based,it lets me see water molecules and suck them out of air,it’s one of the coolest part of it tbh it reminds me of ladybug when she uses her lucky charm😭 my water is basically unlimited besides me getting mentally fatigued/dizzy,i can shape,move and temper with its temperature all i want (it took alot of training to do so).my second quirk manifested in middle school out of emotional baggage,she’s just like dark shadow and has her own conscious.she’s like a guide rather than being uncontrollable like dark shadow at times. it’s a whole quirk type called phantom quirks in my dr.

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ᝰ.ᐟ Some cool stuff i can do with my quirk:

⋆ Teleportation: i teleport via jumping from one water molecule to another! Its really fun it feels like jumping on a trampoline and its so instant.I can also teleport stuff (and it eventually turned to teleporting people) i teleported the ball to a not so nearby beach in the Ball Throw during the Quirk Apprehension Test.

⋆ Healing: like i mentioned my quirk has emotional aspects and healing is one of them,i heal people via affection (platonic or not,i basically heal strangers out of the goodness of my heart literally).

- Something related to healing is purification,i can purify anything that has water in it and make it perfectly edible/unharmful, it works on wounds to infections to anything.(since the human body is 70% water which in the long run made me blood bend SAFELY cause the root of my quirk is not reflecting any damage on anyone).it also makes me immune to food poisoning #yay me.

⋆ Water detection: i can sense water masses around me,and that includes people,its so helpful when i don’t know how many people are gonna be there when i go through a door to be prepared.it also helps me know where people i know are i love texting my friends “i know where you are” out of context bahahaha.

⋆ Materialization: i had a quirk awakening in second year that allowed me to materialize everything and anything from my quirk,ice or not it just needs my creativity,i can also alter my body functions but its rather restrictive compared to objects since i have know how what i wanna change biologically functions to the dot,i only did that once when i took a really really bad hit and tried to boost my healing via materializing body tissue,worked at the end but not something i would wanna do again.

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that’s mostly what i’d like to share 🫶🏻 feel welcome to ask about anything especially quirk biology i love quirks sm.

[imustbenuts]

nuts reading trigun in japanese 7 - filial piety, and meryl

my alternate readings/translation/interpretation of jp lines are for triangulation purposes and nothing else.

ch 10-12. a more general scattershot of a post than over analyzing the japanese texts this time round. i think meryl in these 3 chapters is the most interesting character for me. but mainly bc she seems to be carrying a baggage: her struggle with filial piety.

^OH's version

ソレが普通ですわよ That'd be the most common sense thing to do. それにもともと家訓からして『自立せよ』ですからね But our house's motto is to first be independent above all. ドライといえばドライなのかも Mine would just be dry beyond dry...

me: hm. an office lady in the context of being written in 1990s by a japanese guy. i understand.

(i actually prefer OH's version bc the implications of what shes saying is the exact same, but more importantly leads into this page)

いきついて見れば When I realized all that 何か大切なものを忘れてるのかも… Realized that perhaps I've forgotten something (filial piety) so important... 私… I...

(you can see how this raw translation fucking sucks. I'd reword it in a way that's along the lines of 'feeling so ashamed as to forget getting angry', but OH's version is a downright banger. 11/10 the implications of what she feels is still the exact same. love it a lot!)

right so.

filial piety.

filial piety for a lot of asians is... kind of hard to break down. but perhaps can be explained as "abandoning ones' parents is the worst sin one can do".

not being filial is an invitation to the most extreme judgement from relatives and outsiders in a society which upholds it as the absolute virtue. at least, for the most part. (late stage capitalism fucked it all up yayy)

abandonment can be in the form of presence and/or financial. if a child doesnt make bank to pay back for their parents raising them up, they're not filial. if a child is absent and not there to take care of their parent, thats not filial.

and not being grateful, not being filial, equals shame and warrants divine punishment. (check out folklores like momotaro and kaguyahime that touches on these themes)

meryl i think struggles with that bc shes likely an only child who is expected to work an office job after studying super hard for it, and is now living independently away from her parents. meaning, she is technically not present to take care of them, which in this context makes her feel immensely guilty.

to make matters worse, it sounds like shes one of those types where her parents possibly had to work a lot to pay for this and that, resulting in a severe lack of communication. so this compounds, and she can only write dry stuff in her mind.

milly, by the way, does not have this problem as much:

she has a lot of siblings who can shoulder the weight of it all together, so in terms of that filial piety stress shes not doing so bad.

Badwick, the focus of this arc, by the way, faces the same struggles with meryl:

i mentioned the financial part bc from how chill the parents are with him, i think its possible he was trying to sell the land for large sums of money for his parents to retire. theres an added level of resentment going on that complicates their dynamic, with a dead brother and a land that means too much to sell for any sum of money.

and also his parents are... too nice and understanding, jeez.

i dont think meryl has the resentment. i think her case was similar in that her parents worked hard to provide and kinda neglected her in the connection part.

ofc this might then bring up the question of, 'isnt filial piety kinda transactional?', and, yeah. it... frankly can be. some parents have weaponized it, knowing that a society which forces unconditional love and financial support from a child is a good retirement plan. and it sucks. nightow must have realized this and sidestepped it.

whether bc it will not be well received by the then jp audience or if he just doesnt want to tell a story about this, i dont know. there could also be the fact that the 90s was a bad time to be talking about securing retirement for parents when the economy was circling the drain.

trigun gets dark later. we are getting love and peace above all else, at least for now.

...hm something seems to be rising over the horizon. but we can deal with that later. domestic violence

also i think vash is the kind who would also be a filial son to rem. this aspect of him is just lurking silently in the background in hindsight. in a barrel.

(incidentally i think this is also why luida and brad got promoted to surrogate parents position in stampede. much to ponder ponder...)