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flemingsfreckles · 3 days

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Physio’s Daughter Part 11 (18+)

Read the rest of the series here!

Warnings: smut! fingering (r receiving and giving), oral sex (r giving and receiving), minimal dirty talk, a little accidental overstimulation, marking, it’s a little awkward so if that isn’t your vibe that’s fine, cursing

WC: 8.1k (I know, it got out of hand)

A/N: I HAVE A LOT TO SAY!

If you are reading this series but aren’t one for smut, feel free to skip this chapter. There is nothing super instrumental to the plot happening here besides the physical relationship. Anything plot related will be reiterated and explained in Part 12 so that anyone who doesn’t wish to read this content doesn’t feel lost by skipping it.

Also I’ve mentioned this before, this is not typical hot/heavy/wildest fantasy smut, I wrote this more realistic, it’s a little awkward at points, but I liked writing it this way for this story. Basically, if you’re reading smut just to get off this probably isn’t it, feel free to read my other smut

The walk back to the hotel was relatively quiet. You weren’t able to tell what was running through Jessie’s mind but yours was all over the place.

A sudden feeling of uncertainty was running through your body. You’d had done this before, a few times with a “situationship” you found yourself in your first year of university, and then a few times with drunken flings that you found at the college bar, nothing with much feeling behind it. This felt more serious than that, this was more serious than that. This was Jessie. This wasn’t a drunken decision, this was something you’d wanted for months now.

On top of those nerves came a feeling of inadequacy. She was a professional athlete. She had defined muscles, toned legs, a toned core. She had a cardio stamina a hundred times better than yours. You were just average in comparison. Your job kept you on your feet and moving around but not nearly in as good of shape as Jessie was. The nerves had you keeping your eyes on the ground ahead of you, your hands if not already occupied with the picnic basket would’ve been fidgeting with your shirt or picking at your skin.

At the same time the nerves came with an overwhelming feeling of excitement. This was Jessie. She wanted to sleep with you just as much as you wanted to sleep with her.

The second the door clicks behind the two of you Jessie has you pressed up against it. It’s reminiscent of your first kiss, up against the wall of your office. Only this time it could go as far as you both wanted. There was no risk of someone walking in, the two of you being caught, and you were ready to take advantage of that.

Putting your hands on Jessie’s waist you gingerly begin to push her backward. Much to your dismay, Jessie takes her lips off of yours and steps back.

“Sorry.” She’s quick to apologize, your hands still on her waist.

A whine of frustration almost comes out, you clear your throat and question her. “Why?”

“If that was a lot, I came on a little hard there.” Her hands wave rapidly in the space between the two of you.

“It wasn’t too much.”

“I just figured since you pushed me off.” Her thought trails off. You didn’t want her off of you.

“I wasn’t pushing you off Jessie, I was trying to push you toward the bed.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.” You point at the bed over her shoulder and she turns to look at it as if she didn’t know it existed.

“Well in that case, can I kiss you again?” You barely nod before Jessie is coming toward you, her hands coming to your face. One of her hands finds the back of your head, preventing you from bumping your head into the door as her body comes up against yours.

This time when your hands push on Jessie’s hips she steps backwards but doesn’t break your kiss. The two of you make your way to the bed carefully, your hands pushing her as she takes cautious steps backward. You get a step away from the bed and lighten the pressure on her hips.

She quickly climbs onto the bed, kneeling before turning back to kiss you as she kneeled up to your height. Her arms reach for you and she pulls you toward the bed. You join her kneeling onto the mattress for a moment before Jessie breaks your kiss and situates herself on the bed. Her hand reaches, clutching the collar of your shirt, pulling you down. Practically falling on her you just barely catch yourself before your face collides with hers.

Ignoring the fact that you both almost had broken you noses against each other, you kiss her hard again. It doesn’t take long for Jessie’s hands to wander. They’re on your shoulders, then running down your sides, she moves them to gently grip your ass, pulling you toward her. She’s caressing every inch of you that she can reach. You want to do the same but your hands are the only thing keeping you from crushing the woman below you.

Her hands then find their way to your chest and now it’s her pushing you back. You break the kiss this time, sitting back to put your weight on your knees.

“Take my shirt off.” Jessie says, breathlessly. Part of you felt like you were in a dream, this was happening, actually happening. You’d be lying if you said you hadn’t dreamt of the midfielder like this before, below you, her hands on you and yours on her, those dreams never lasted too long but you always woke up with your heart racing, just as it was doing now.

“Are you sure?” You say with your hands inches from grasping Jessie’s shirt.

“Yeah I’m sure.” She looks up at you. You can’t help but get lost in her eyes for a moment. You get distracted, leaving your hands frozen reaching out toward Jessie. The way she was looking up at you was intoxicating, her eyes soft a small ring of brown surrounding her wide pupils, you could look into them forever.

“Are you okay? You’ve done this before right?” Jessie’s words break you from your gaze.

“Sex? Yes, I have! Oh my god am I that bad?” You were ready for the floor to open up and swallow you. Mortified that Jessie was under the impression that you had never done this before, that you were clueless.

“No! No, nothings been bad, we’ve barely done anything, it's just you seem pretty nervous,” she pauses before pointing to your hands. “Your hands are shaking.” They were, you knew they were, you just thought maybe you had gotten away without Jessie noticing.

“Just a little nervous.”

“I thought I didn’t make you nervous?” Jessie’s cocky smile is able to put some of your nerves to rest.

“Usually you don’t, but yeah, this is making me a little bit nervous I guess.” Finding a sudden interest in the wall color, you keep your eyes fixated there, avoiding Jessie’s stare up at you. Now you were even more nervous, thanks to her comment.

“We don’t have to do this, if you’d rather wait or just not.”

“No!” Now you’re looking back down at her. She looks at you funny, you realize it maybe sounded like you were saying you didn’t want to. “I mean yes, I want to, I want to have sex, the nerves aren’t bad nerves, it’s just a little adrenaline I think, plus I don’t want to embarrass myself because I really like you. Although at this rate it seems I already have embarrassed myself.” You barely breathe between your sentences, rushing them out to try and limit the embarrassment you’re already feeling. You planned on being red in the face and a little sweaty when this was all done not before you even had your clothes off.

“Sorry I really didn’t mean to make you feel embarrassed. I just wanted to make sure you were okay.” Jessie’s thumbs rub comforting circles on your thighs.

“I’m good.” You were good, incredibly embarrassed, but good.

“Good.”

You curl your lips in biting them between your own teeth and just look at her.

You could get lost in her eyes all over again. The brown color, you never knew why people complained about brown eyes, they were warm, inviting, you loved looking at Jessie’s eyes. Jessie was expressive with her eyes too, it told you a lot about her feelings. Right now her eyes were a mix of lust and a small bit apologetic.

“I really didn’t mean to make you feel embarrassed, I promise it’s been good so far. Plus I’m a tiny bit nervous too.” She looks down for a minute then back up to you. “Its an excited nervous and also just regular nervous, because I really, really like you too and I don’t want to mess this up, but I haven’t,” Jessie clears her throat diverting her eyes to a spot on the ceiling, “It’s just been a while since I’ve done anything with anyone.”

“Worried it’s been so long they’ve changed the fundamentals of sex?” You can’t help but crack the joke to her.

“Hey,” she playfully shoves you, “I didn’t poke too much fun at your nerves.”

“Right, I’m sorry. While we’re airing out everything, it’s been a while for me too, a year, at least.” You think maybe expressing your own lack of recent formication will ease Jessie’s nerves.

“Well then we’re in a similar boat.”

“So if they’ve changed it neither of us will know.” You shrug at her.

“Just come here.” Jessie says before she doesn’t give you a choice, her hand grabs a fistful of your shirt again and pulls you back down to her. Before your lips touch she looks you in the eye before whispering “Kiss me until your nerves are gone.”

You do just that. You bring your lips to Jessie’s, kissing her softly a couple of times, just a few pecks. Her hand remains on your thigh, the other running through your hair. Her thumb still gently rubs circles on your thigh, a soothing and grounding feeling. Her hand squeezes ever so slightly as you open your lips against hers and her hand in her hair pushes you closer to her. Kissing Jessie lets your mind go blank. You become engulfed in the feeling of her lips on yours, you’re no longer caught up in the nerves and overthinking.

The two of you stay kissing for a couple minutes Jessie’s hands finding their way to your waist, her fingers teasing at the skin under your shirt. You pull away finally, pressing yourself up using your hands on either side of Jessie’s head. She smiles up at you, her hair is messy, as you're sure yours is as well from her hand running through it. Jessie’s fingers continue to gently stroke your skin mindlessly as you two look at each other.

“You can take off my shirt, if you want.” You offer, knowing Jessie probably wouldn’t make the move to take it off of you without you asking. Her fingers are quick to grab the bottom of your shirt before pulling upward. Jessie being below you gives her an awkward angle trying to pull your shirt off meaning it gets caught on your elbow on one arm and on your head. It causes you to laugh as you’re sitting in Jessie’s lap, shirt stuck over your head, you can feel her let out a quick laugh, her stomach tensing beneath you.

“Here, I’ll get it.” You feel Jessie’s hands let go of the shirt. You maneuver it quickly before ridding yourself of the shirt, tossing it to the floor.

“Sorry that was really not smooth.”

“It’s fine Jessie.” You bend down kissing her again and your hands now find the bottom of her shirt, finishing the action you had planned to do many minutes ago. “Can I?”

“Yeah, let me sit up.” You put your weight onto your knees instead of Jessie’s lap, allowing her to scoot herself up to sit. She taps your hips once she’s sitting up, “Sit back down.” You do, now sitting more on her thighs than her waist. She sticks her arms up and you slowly pull her shirt up and over, tossing it in the same direction as yours.

Jessie’s eyes trail from your face down to your bra and down your waist, her hands find their place on your shoulders where your bra straps sit. You noticed her fingers, again making small movements, tracing soothing patterns into your skin. She leaned forward putting her lips below her hand, kissing your collarbone. She placed a line of kisses across the prominent bone before switching to give attention to the other side.

Her lips then found their way up your neck, those kisses more intense, open mouthed, her tongue running over your skin, making goosebumps appear across all of your exposed skin. You let the breath out of your chest and your eyes flutter shut as you feel her suck slightly just above the base of your neck.

She pulls back, “good?”

“Mhmm.” You hum before pushing her neck gently back in the direction of where her lips had just been. She obliges, reconnecting with your neck and sucking harder as you encourage her, your hand pressing her into your neck.

She pulls away a minute later and you open your eyes, tilting your head back down to watch Jessie open her own eyes.

“Oh my god.” Her hand clasps over her mouth, her eyes open wide and glued to your neck, a horrified look in her eyes.

“What?” You ask, but you already have a good idea of why she was staring.

“I left a mark.” Eyes still wide with fear, she doesn’t look at you, vision glued to what you assumed was a bright red marking.

“Jessie!” Your hand immediately clasps over where the warmth from her lips was still radiating. “You gave me a hickey?!”

“I wasn’t trying to, I wasn’t even sucking that hard!”

“I guess I should’ve mentioned I bruise easily.” You slowly take your hand away. “Is it bad?”

“Uh.” Jessie looks from your neck to your face and back to your neck. “It’s there. It’s definitely there. And it’s definitely too high up a shirt won’t cover it. A sweatshirt maybe. Oh my, your Mom is going to kill me.” Jessie’s words are quick and scrambled with her panic.

“Nope, nope.” You bring a hand to cover Jessie’s mouth and stop her talking. “We’re not talking about my Mom while I’m sitting in your lap.”

“Sorry.” Jessie mumbles into the palm of your hand, you remove it and put it back on her waist. She squeezes her eyes shut, tilting her head down with a slight shake. “I really didn’t mean to, I would’ve asked for permission if I planned on leaving a mark, I’ll help you cover it, I can see if Janine has makeup-”

“Take my bra off.” Her head shoots back up as you interrupt her.

“Are you sure? I figured I killed the mood by giving you a hickey like an inexperienced teenager.”

“No, you didn’t, to be fair, it felt really good. Plus it’s half my fault, I pushed your head. So, if you want to keep going, I’d like you to take off my bra and maybe you can put those suction skills of yours to work somewhere more hidden?” You raise your voice at the end, indicating you were asking her a question, more making her an offer.

She nods, her loose curls bouncing slightly around her face. She brings a hand around your back, you feel her fumble with the clasp for a second, Jessie face scrunched in concentration. Just as you’re about to offer help you feel the elastic give and the straps on your shoulders slip down slightly. The feeling, realizing you were suddenly going to be exposed brings back some of your nerves. Her hands move to hold the straps, she looks up to you again.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah.” You nod at her and her fingers gently pull the straps down your arms, she keeps eye contact with you, not looking at your chest or the bra, not watching her own hands. Once your bra is off and on the floor with the growing pile of clothes Jessie’s hands come back to your body.

“Can I flip us over?” Her hands rest on your lower back. You give her permission and with ease she moves you off of her and onto your back before rolling over to position herself between your thighs. Your legs wrap gently around her waist. The position reminds you briefly of how the two of you were laying on top of each other at the field, her on top of you, her weight and warmth pressed into your body. You watch as Jessie takes in the sight of your bare torso. Her eyes make a path from your neck down, looking left to right, her attention being grabbed by your actively hardening nipples. She trails her eyes down the rest of your stomach before coming back up to look at you.

“You’re perfect.”

Jessie’s lips returning to your neck brings you out of your thoughts and back to the present. Her kisses are more tentative, likely she doesn’t want to accidentally mark you again. Part of you wishes she’d suck another mark. This time after making passes on your collar bones, Jessie’s mouth makes its way down the valley of your breasts.

You hum in content as Jessie moves her mouth to the flesh of your chest. She sucks just as she had on your neck, you watch as she works, her eyes are closed, focused expression on her face. She sucks a little harder making a groan bubble up from your throat. She doesn’t release her mouth but her eyes open, locking to yours while she seductively sucked harder. Jessie removes her mouth, taking a second to admire her work, a dark red circle sitting just under your nipple is left behind, she smiles before repeating the process on the other half of your chest.

Her hands have remained off of you while her mouth worked. You wanted her touch. Your own hands are all over her, they’re in her hair then on her cheek, then gently scratching down her back, squeezing her waist, holding her shoulders. You couldn’t make up your mind on where you wanted them, you wanted them everywhere. As Jessie continues to mark and tease your skin with her mouth you bring your fingers into the elastic band of her bra. You gently dig your fingers under the band hoping she’ll get the hint. She does, releasing the suction she had on you, giving each of your nipples a quick kiss before she sits up and away from you. You sit up with her, keeping your fingers just dipped under her bra.

“Can I take this off?” You look up at her. She doesn’t answer right away, she's just looking down at you, her eyes are glossed over . “Jessie?”

“Yeah?” She blinks a few times.

“Your bra? Can I take it off? If you want to keep it on, that's okay.”

“Oh, yeah, sorry, I just got distracted looking at you. You’re so pretty.” She leans down giving you a quick peck. Her words have your cheeks flushing pink. She’d complimented you before, but it was different, the way she got distracted looking at you, lost in her thoughts because she was looking at you. It made you feel wanted and that made you want her even more. Your fingers dig further under her bra and she moves her arms to raise them over her head. You’re able to get the bra about halfway off her arms before you can no longer reach and Jessie gets stuck for a moment, letting out a small giggle as the bra covered her face before she used her own hands to remove the fabric fully.

You weren’t sure if you should look. You wanted to, you wanted to admire every inch of her, but she had restrained her gaze on your own chest for a bit, so you do the same, looking at her face instead. Seeing you staring at her Jessie leans down to press her lips to yours. You sit up even more, putting the two of you in the same position from the other night, Jessie straddling you as you two made out. Only now instead of layers of clothing between the two of you, you felt her bare skin on yours.

The warmth of her chest on yours sends a shiver down your spine. You want to hold her tight to you like this forever. Her nails gently scratch down your back causing you to moan quietly against Jessie’s lips. She gets the hint you like it and she digs her nails in a bit harder, leaving red streaks down your back. The action has you throwing your head back away from Jessie to let out a louder moan.

“Hmm, someone likes that.” Jessie teases you, a smirk across her face. You roll your eyes at her, you want to make a smartass comment back but you can’t come up with anything in the moment too overwhelmed with the situation to come up with a coherent thought. Instead you sit up on your knees, pushing Jessie back so that you could climb on top of her, taking back a little bit of control.

Now you’re finally able to take in her figure. Your eyes float down to her chest, the sight has you nearly rolling your eyes back. Jessie was perfect, of course she was, but it still shocked you for some reason. You let your eyes take in all of her skin, smooth, her nipples hard, a couple of scars and scratches across her body, ones you had seen before with medical treatment, most of them from being an athlete. Her toned stomach. And then of course there’s her freckles.

You get distracted by her freckles. Of course the freckles on her face have always been a prominent feature you found adorable. You had seen the freckles on her shoulders and back before when you treated her. But now you take extra notice of them, she has freckles across her whole body, down her neck, across her chest, down her stomach, resting above her waistband, they’re everywhere. You have the urge to put your lips on every single marking on her skin, but you refrain, maybe you could do that another day.

Bringing your lips to her skin you begin to make your way down her neck, placing soft kisses before moving further down until Jessie’s hands hold you firm in the spot against her collarbone. You gently suck at the spot, feeling Jessie let out a sigh followed by a quiet whine. You can’t help but smile at her reaction, losing the suction to her skin. Taking your hand you place it on her stomach before slowly sliding it upward until you hit the curve of her breast. Not hearing any protest, you slide your hand further cupping her, giving a gentle squeeze before your thumb focuses on her nipple.

“That’s good.” Her words come out breathy. Her eyes flutter shut as your lips connect with her other nipple. Your tongue gently circling the bud. “Fuck.” The profanity is said so quietly from Jessie’s lips you barely hear it.

You continue pleasing her, switching between your hand and your mouth making sure you give even attention to both sides. You start to notice Jessie moving her hips. She grinds gently upward against your thigh as you suck a small mark into the skin below her breast. You give in to her movements, placing your thigh strategically to put pressure between her legs, you lean into her and she groans, flicking her hips upward.

You bring your hands to the button on her jeans, looking up at her for her permission. “Go ahead.” She puts her heels into the mattress and picks up her hips so let you shimmy her jeans off her pants. You don’t mean to but you realize as you get her jeans halfway down her thighs that you’ve grabbed her underwear too.

“Oops, sorry.” You separate the two waistbands and begin to just pull down her jeans.

“Don’t be sorry, just take them off too.” Jessie props herself up on her elbows to look at you. You listen, your hands going back up to start pulling down both her pants and underwear. You add the garments to the pile. When you turn and see Jessie, who was now completely naked in front of you, propped up on her elbows watching you with a stare, you freeze.

You didn’t know what to do. Well you did, you’ve done it before, you just, this was Jessie, someone new, you were starting from square one. You feel Jessie’s hands grab yours bringing you back into the moment. “You alright?” She says, giving each hand a squeeze.

Her voice and grounding gesture remind you that while yes this was Jessie, that’s what was going to make this easy, it was Jessie. “Yeah, I’m good.” You flash her a smile. “Uh so,” you glance down between her legs then back to her face, “is there anything you definitely don’t want me to do? Mouth, hands, anything?”

You watch as Jessie thinks for a second, “No, whatever you’re comfortable with is good but just as a tip I probably won’t get off just from you know, inside, I usually need, outside,” she lets her voice drop off and you’re not sure if she’s done with her sentence or if she just got shy.

“Yeah, I’m the same way.” You offer her the suggestion about your own body now while she’s showing her own vulnerability. “Inside and outside usually is easiest for me.”

Jessie nods “I’ll keep that in mind.”

Leaning over you let go of Jessie’s hands to brace yourself above her. You give Jessie a peck on the lips and then one on her cheek and all the way down her neck. You nestle your head into the crook of her neck, kissing her neck and shoulder as you bring your right hand down and between her legs. You find her thigh first, gently dragging your fingers on the inside of her thigh higher and higher to let her know where you were going. Her skin is smooth and you feel her thighs clench as your hand gets higher and higher until you can tell your just in the crease of her thigh. You let your hand sit for a second.

“Touch me.” Jessie murmurs into your ear which is conveniently placed just next to her lips with your head in her neck. You take a deep breath and you do as she asks. Your fingers run over her once before you dip your ring and middle fingers lower. You start to feel her arousal coat your fingers before you run them upward through her. You pause when you hear Jessie’s breath hitch in her throat as you don’t hear her let the breath out.

“Are you okay?” You pick your head up to ask her.

“Mmmhm.” She hums. “Keep going.”

Bringing your fingers back down you feel her entrance and the slick that’s covering it. You’d come back to that you decided, bringing your fingers back up and finding her clit. You start with barely any pressure, just circling the bundle of nerves once then twice, before lifting your head again. “Is this okay?”

“Good, more pressure though.” She guides you and you follow, increasing the pressure on your fingers. After a few minutes of the movement, Jessie lets out a pleased sigh followed by a deep moan. “That’s, that’s good, fuck.”

It wasn’t often you heard Jessie curse, once or twice on the field, a few other times, but this was now your new favorite way she said it. Letting profanities fall from her mouth because of the feelings you were providing was definitely an ego boost. You keep circling her clit, listening to the noises she made, telling you if you were doing the right thing. Caught up in the way she was whining, your name coming out from her lips a few times, you were surprised when you felt her hand come down to grasp yours.

“Can you put them inside?” She says when you remove your head from her shoulder to see why she had grabbed your hand.

“Of course.” You want to bring your fingers to your lips, to taste her, instead you have a better idea. “Can I taste you, while I finger you?” You clarify.

“God you’re hot asking for what you want.” She pushes your hand toward her opening. “Yes, you can.” Her permission is all you need and you’re moving off of her and lying between her legs, you grab them and place one over your shoulder and push the other up and out to give you room for your hand. You can see the arousal you spread with your fingers coating her. Using your fingers you gently spread her before placing your tongue flat against her core and licking a long slow strip up. When your tongue crosses her clit she bucks her hips, already sensitive from your fingers. You get lost in her flavor, tasting her, enjoying the feeling of your tongue on her in the most intimate way.

Alternating your movements you suck and lick her core until her hands are on your head, pushing and pulling you while she ground her hips into your face. You were surprised by how noisy Jessie was in bed. She wasn’t necessarily loud in terms of volume. She didn’t say too many words but she filled the air with moans, whimpers, deep breaths, the sound of her breath catching, all noises that were spurring you on. “Add your fingers please.” Her voice is barely a whisper.

You bring your two fingers to her entrance and begin to push into her. You both moan as you slide one in. The feeling of her warm and tight around your finger is enough and you can tell your underwear would be plenty damp when it came off. You give her a few thrusts with one finger before pushing in with two to no complaint of Jessie. You pump with both fingers slowly at first before beginning to speed up adding a curling motion.

Jessie’s grip tightens in your hair. You also notice the slight trembling on her thighs and the way she’s practically riding your face and tongue. You try keeping your movements the same, obviously getting a positive reaction from Jessie but it was hard as she would unexpectedly jerk her hips or pull your hair. You weren’t complaining though as you felt her begin to tighten around your fingers. “That feels so good.” She lets out a sigh. Her legs start to move, closing you in and holding you tight to her. “I’m going to,” she tries to warn you as her orgasm interrupts her, a moan of your name is the next thing out of her mouth.

You can feel her pulsating around your fingers, you keep moving them slowly, easing Jessie through her orgasm. Her hips jerk against your tongue a few times before she pulls up and away and her legs fall back to the bed from where they had tightened around your head. Slowly you removed your fingers, watching the small string of her arousal still connected the two of you as you pulled away. Lifting up onto your elbows you look at her. Her cheeks are red, she’s panting, her chest rising and falling rapidly, but most importantly she’s beaming, a big toothy grin on her face.

“Was that okay?” Obviously she had finished but this was about more than that, you wanted to make sure she was okay, comfortable, that she felt okay with what you did.

“That was more than okay.” She motions for you to come closer to you. You crawl up her body and she pulls you into a passionate kiss, it’s slow and deep, your tongues meet and you know she can taste herself on your lips. “Thank you.”

“Hey, no need to thank me, I had just a good of time as you did.”

“Can I return the favor?” Not only is she asking with her words but her eyes are looking up at you, practically begging as well as her hands are resting on the waistband of your pants, implying she wanted them off.

“Only if you want to, I don’t expect you to.”

“I want to, if you want me to?”

“Yeah, I do.” You climb off of Jessie standing next to the bed and bringing your own hands to the button of your pants. Just as you start to fiddle with the button Jessie speaks.

“Can I do it?”

Standing up she made her way in front of you. Her hands dropped to meet yours. Gently removing your fingers she replaced them with her own, undoing the button and zipper.

“Hang on,” Your hands come back to pause hers. “I just, I’ve been so busy with work, I haven’t shaved in a little while, my legs, or anything else.”

Pinching her eyebrows together Jessie gives you a goofy look. “I don’t know if I should be offended that you’d think I’d care about something like that. I clearly hadn't shaved too recently either. Whatever you’re comfortable with. Does it bother you, because if you’re uncomfortable doing this because you haven’t shaved we don’t have to.”

“No, I just wanted you to know, before you saw.”

“Okay, we’ll just so you know, in the most polite way, I don’t care.” You pull your hands back up, off of hers to let her continue. She pulls your pants down squatting in front of you to help you step out. You use her shoulder to brace yourself as you slide out each foot. Staying squatting Jessie brings her hands up to your black underwear. You nod before she can ask and her fingers hook into the band, slowly dragging them down, again helping you step out of them.

Instead of immediately standing up Jessie brings her lips to your thighs, placing a kiss before moving over to your other thigh repeating the process. She places kissing alternately legs all the way up to your hips, intentionally avoiding where you desperately wanted her to be. She then stands putting you face to face again.

“Lay down.” She glances to the bed and you’re embarrassingly quick to lay down in the center. Once you lay, you notice Jessie’s eyes on you, scanning your whole body before moving to crawl onto the bed.

Her hands find the skin just above your knees, giving them a gentle push, encouraging you to open your legs. You spread your legs and can’t help but feel self conscious as you watch Jessie’s eyes fixate at the apex of your legs. You know she can probably see how desperately you want her, you can feel your own wetness between your legs. She lets out a breath and moves to kneel between your thighs.

Her right hand slides up your thigh, fingers gently caressing the skin as she moves up, pausing just on the crease of your leg. “Is this okay?”

“Yeah, go ahead.” You didn’t want to sound too impatient but you also wanted her to touch you, to fuck you.

You notice her hands are cold when they first touch you. She slides her fingers between your lips, opening you to gather some of your wetness on her fingers. She drags her fingers upward finding your clit. Her touch is foreign, unfamiliar, different from what your body knows, which is the feeling of your own fingers.

“Still okay?” Jessie asks as she circles your clit with her fingers.

“Mhhhhmm” Your eyes are fixated watching her wrist, the way her forearm flexes as she touches you.

Jessie continues her movements, she smiles when you start to shift your hips in time with her fingers. She dips her fingers again, gathering more of your arousal to coat her fingers before she places them back to your opening. She just lets her fingers sit there looking up to you for permission. You give her a nod.

You feel her start to gently push into your entrance with two fingers, already feeling a slight stretch, you grab her wrist.

“Go slow, please, your fingers are bigger than mine.”

“Of course, let me know if it’s uncomfortable. I technically have lube.” You cock your head learning that.

“Why do you-”

“It’s with the condoms, I didn’t pack it, they give all the athletes condoms, there’s lube too.” She shakes her head slightly before glancing over to the side table, likely where the condoms were.

“Oh, I didn’t know that. I knew about the condoms, not the lube.”

“Yeah.” You both just look at each other, as if you both have forgotten what you’re in the middle of. Jessie adjusts the way she’s sitting, making her fingers slide along your opening, bringing you back to the activity at hand.

“I should be fine, I mean, I’m wet, just it’s been a while, so just go slow.”

Jessie nods and readjusts herself again so that she’s lying next to you, her fingers still resting at your opening, placing the slightest pressure into you. She brings her mouth to yours into a open mouthed kiss and at the same time begins to slide a single finger into you.

Her first finger slides easily, she moves slowly knuckle by knuckle until her palm is resting against you. She pulls out and pushes back in faster this time. Her fingers were not only thicker than yours but longer too.

“Is this okay?”

“Yeah, feels good.”

The room is relatively silent with the exception of the labored breathing between the two of you, the sound of your lips on each other, and the noise coming from between your legs as Jessie’s finger pumps in and out.

Jessie pulls out and pauses this time, you feel her place her second finger next to her first. She pulls away from your kiss to watch your face as she slides in her fingertips, you feel yourself clench around her and she pauses for a moment.

“Doing alright?”

“Yeah Jess, feels good.” You’d never been with anyone so attentive, so focused on making you feel comfortable. You take a deep breath as she slides her fingers in further, there’s a stretch but not uncomfortable. You adjust your legs, opening them more to try and ease the feeling of tightness.

Once her fingers are in, Jessie doesn’t pull them out, she gently curls them up and lets her hand rock against you. The base of her palm applies pressure to your clit. She lets her hand rock against you a few times and the tightness begins to fade, the pleasure from her palm rubbing your clit taking over.

Moaning into Jessie’s mouth as she kisses you, encouraging her to keep up her movements. She does, rocking her hand more aggressively. She pulls her lips from yours and buries her head into your side to kiss below your ear and down your neck.

It was a good feeling, her fingers inside of you and her palm bumping your clit but you could tell it likely wouldn’t be enough, you needed a little more stimulation. “Jessie.” You get her attention.

“Yeah?”

“Can you use your other hand on my clit? This feels good but I think I need a little more direct stimulation.”

“Of course.” Jessie gives you one last kiss before she moves her head away from yours. Jessie climbs over your thigh to sit between your legs again. She brings her previously free hand down, her thumb finding your clit while her other hand continues to work in and out of you.

Immediately feeling the wave of pleasure from the direct attention she was giving your bundle of nerves, you throw your head back, letting your mouth fall open with a moan of appreciation. “That’s good.” You manage to whisper.

Tilting your head back down you watch Jessie. She’s still naked. Her bicep is bulging on the arm thrusting into you, her cheeks still dusted with a blush, she’s staring where her hands are touching you with such focus it’s as if nothing else in the room existed.

You could stare at her forever, watching how her face reacts when you let out a whine, a smirk of satisfaction coming across her lips, how she pinches her eyebrows in concentration. But the more she touches you the more you feel the tightening in your stomach. The tightening that meant this would all be over in a matter of a few minutes.

Screwing your eyes shut you debate having her change what she was doing in an attempt to prolong your orgasm but when you open your eyes again and you’re met with her eyes watching your face a flash of heat runs through your body and you know there’s no stopping the inevitable now.

“Jessie.” You’re cautious not to moan her name too loudly, but loud enough that she hears it. “Keep going, I’m going to cum.” Your hips start to roll into her hand, chasing your high. Your hands come up to grasp at the pillow behind your head as your back arches up and off the bed. Her fingers inside of you feel so deep, hitting every pleasurable spot, your walls start to clench around her and you see her give one last cocky smile before your eyes slam shut as the wave of pleasure crashes over you.

A string of profane words falls out of your mouth, you’re not even sure what you’re saying, all of your senses overwhelmed with the pleasure of your orgasm, your heartbeat in your ears, the grasp of the sheets in your hands, the tingle running across your skin. Jessie continues her motions, exactly as she had been, letting you jerk your hips and legs as needed to get yourself through the high. She only slows once you start to squirm away from her touch instead of pressing into it.

You slowly open your eyes, blinking a few times to clear the spots you had from shutting them so hard. You look up to see Jessie looking back at you with awe as she kneeled between your legs. “You’re really hot.” Her compliment mixed with the come down of your orgasm has you blushing, throwing your hand over your face, peeking at her through your fingers. She’s smirking at you, her bottom lip between her teeth. You pull your hand away to look at her.

Keeping her eyes on yours she brings her fingers to her mouth, sucking off your release. A small hum of satisfaction falls from her throat. “You taste so good. Can I?” She glances down to your core.

“Can you what?”

Jessie pauses and you can tell she’s contemplating what to say. “With my mouth, can I, uh, eat you out?”

She’s looking at you, wide eyes with excitement. The fingers previously in her mouth rest on her bottom lip. You weren’t one usually for back to back rounds, you needed a little bit of time between, but the way Jessie was looking at you like she was ready to devour you changed your mind. It wouldn’t hurt to let her try. “You can try, I might be too sensitive.”

Not hesitating she quickly moves herself between your legs. Her hands come up to the bend in your knee, gently pushing your legs up and out. Jessie sticks her tongue out flat so it rests along her mouth toward her chin and brings her face to your already wet and sensitive core. Her first lick is slow, feather light, she’s barely touching you. Her second pass is more firm, still slow but with pressure. By her third lick you can tell she’s not just feeling you out anymore.

“Oh fuck.” Your suspicions are confirmed, you’re sensitive, the feeling of her tongue bordering on immense pleasure and also overstimulation. You can tell she’s enjoying herself the way she’s moaning into you, sending slight vibrations against you, so you let her keep going. Fisting the sheets tight with your hands you try to relax, ease into the pleasure and away from the overstimulation. She continues, her lips providing a soft suction while her tongue flicks over your sensitive skin, causing you to jerk away from her, her arms wrapped tightly around your thighs makes your movement almost pointless as she holds you in place.

“Fuck, shit, Jessie stop, too sensitive.” You gently push her head away which she obeys and you close your legs. “Sorry, I thought I’d be fine.”

Jessie lifts her head, you can see your wetness covering her lips and chin. “Don’t apologize. You say stop I’ll stop, no questions. I’ll just start with that next time.”

Next time. She said next time. You prop yourself up on your elbows to look down at where she was laying, her cheek pressed against your inner thigh as she rested her head looking up at you.

“Next time?” Repeating her words back to her.

“I mean, only if you want to. I didn’t see this as a one time thing, I hope you didn’t either. I thought with the date, we could maybe keep going on dates and then that way we’d get to do more of this too.”

“Yeah, next time, I like the sound of that.” Smiling at you Jessie unwraps her arms from your thighs and moves up your body to place a kiss on your lips. It’s a slow and sloppy kiss in a way that’s passionate and yet still relaxing.

She rolls off of you and lays next to you. The two of you lay in silence, it's peaceful, not uncomfortable, the hum of the air conditioner making the only noise. Her hand finds yours and she laces your fingers together momentarily before she plays with your fingers, tracing patterns across each one and then doing the same to your palm. Her movements are relaxing and you feel yourself starting to doze off only to be jolted awake by the elbow in your side.

“Don’t fall asleep yet, you’ve got to brush your teeth and you should probably pee.” Jessie says softly to you.

You roll to look at her. Half open eyes you give her a sleepy smile. “But I’m comfortable here.”

“Come on.” Jessie hops off the bed, extending a hand to you, you take it and let her pull you up. “I’m going to shower, there’s extra towels if you want to as well.”

“Yeah that would probably be nice. I’ll brush my teeth and then leave and you can shower first.” You say as you both walk into the bathroom.

You flick on the light switch and look in the mirror taking in your appearance looking at your face first. Your cheeks are red, your hair is a mess, you look tired. It’s then that you see the mark Jessie accidentally made on your neck. “Oh my god Jessie, what the hell?” You lean into the mirror to further inspect the damage. The mark was darker and larger than you had expected, and it was undeniably a hickey, you wouldn’t be able to argue you burnt yourself on a curling iron like you had in high school. It was also near the middle of your neck, you’d be lucky if a sweatshirt covered it.

“I know, it’s only gotten darker too, I’m so sorry. I really didn’t mean it. I’ll call Janine in the morning, she’ll have stuff to cover it.” Jessie looks guilty, an apologetic tone obvious in her voice.

“I cannot believe you.” You say all while slowly shaking your head and smiling at her in the mirror. You really weren’t upset, it was going to be hard to cover but not impossible.

“Let me make it up to you?” She bats her eyes at you a few times in the mirror.

You turn to face her. “Yeah? How are you going to do that?”

“Get in the shower and I’ll show you.”

#jessie fleming #jflem #jessie fleming x reader #jessie fleming imagine #woso imagine #woso x reader #jessie fleming blurb #canwnt x reader

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kayjayjwrites · 2 days

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Like Bugs in a Rug Chapter 2.5

Bonus Chapter

Previous Chapter

NOTE: Although this bonus chapter could be read by itself, I think it will hit so much harder if you at least read Chapter Two beforehand. Don't remember what happened last? Don't worry about it, this is a series of one shots, so you can basically pick-up and read in whatever order.

Story Summary: Azriel Shadowsinger, mysterious pretty boy extraordinaire himself, was head over heels in love with you for years. Everyone in the room could see it, except for you of course. A series of connected one-shots.

Chapter Word Count: 2,100 Words Chapter Music Inspo: LMS - Aislinn Davis (Does this song super relate to the chapter? Not really, but kinda if you squint. I don’t always get to choose what songs inspire me to write, and for whatever reason, this one did it for this chappy.)

XxXx

Azriel’s POV

Azriel didn’t knock. He waltzed into Rhysand’s office with swift authority. In a few long strides he was at Rhysand’s desk before the door had time to drift shut behind him. The small amount of self-restraint Azriel had maintained during his flight to The House of Wind vanished at the sight of the asshole, his fury vibrating with the need for release. He so rarely embraced the part of himself that craved such brutish violence, but as he advanced on Rhysand he tossed his gloves to the floor. He needed to feel this.

Rhysand didn’t have time to fully look up from his task. His pen was still in the middle of scribbling his signature on some paperwork when Azriel leaned over the desk and took a fist full of the front of his tunic into one hand.

He yanked the High Lord up from his chair so hard the fabric made a tearing noise. He drew Rhysand into an awkward half standing, half crouched position, holding fast as he loomed over him. Much to Azriel’s annoyance, Rhysand only seemed mildly taken aback by Azriel’s crass arrival, the bastard was expecting him.

Rhysand’s typical air of nonchalance had never bothered him in the way it did now. It was disgusting, how he could jeopardize something so precious to Azriel, and then chose fucking paperwork over trying to fix it.

He sneered in Rhysand’s face. “What the hell is wrong with you?”

“Hey, hey.” Rhysand tried to straighten, but Azriel didn’t give an inch. Rhysand reached a hand for Azriel’s wrist instead, as if to protect his fancy tunic from ripping further. Azriel fixed Rhysand with a scowl that promised harsh violence if he touched him, so Rhysand let his hand fall.

Maybe the High Lord hadn’t completely lost his mind, had a little self preservation instinct left in him after all.

“Az, I’m going to apologize, you don’t need to do this.”

Don’t need to do this? The cold rage clouding Azriel’s mind said otherwise. He barely registered his blue siphons flashing as his shadows rose up behind him, dangerous and menacing just like him. He pulled Rhysand closer, the thread along the collar of the tunic fraying, their faces now inches apart as he looked down at Rhysand with blatant revulsion.

The scent of your tears lingered in Azriel’s nose like you were still falling apart in his arms. For as long as he lived, Azriel would remember what it felt like to see your confidence and hope flicker like a dying flame when all he could offer you was his embrace. It wasn’t enough, he knew that, and it made him feel so helpless. All Azriel wanted was for you to feel like you belonged here, with the Inner Circle, with him.

And they had made damned good progress too, it was slow, but he could tell that you were warming up to the idea of trusting the Inner Circle. Until this dick went and fucked it all up.

So yeah. He did need to do this.

“I fucked up,” Rhysand rushed out, his violet eyes seemed to take in every twitch of Azriel’s face, reading the unspoken threat for what it was, “I’m not saying I don’t deserve this. I’m saying that I already agree with you, I went too far, and I will apologize.”

Azriel huffed an exhale, nostrils flaring. You’d been so distraught, so emotionally and physically exhausted that you fell asleep a few minutes into the flight to Mor’s apartment. You’d never admitted as much, but he knew you had a bit of a phobia of heights, it’s why he never pressured you to fly with him. He had dreamed of the first time he’d take to the sky with you, planned out each scenario, wondered how you’d look the first time you saw Velaris from above. He’d always imagined your face to be alight with wonder.

If he had any reservation about confronting Rhysand, it vanished by the time he entered Mor’s apartment. You didn’t even stir when he laid you down on Mor’s bed. He considered returning to The House of Wind while you were asleep, but the idea of you waking up here alone kept him rooted to your side. He sat on the bed next to you while he waited for Mor to return home, he knew she would take good care of you, she took her duty as a newly discovered older sister very seriously. He found himself absentmindedly smoothing your mused hair from your face. Using his gloved fingers to wipe away dried tear tracks from your cheeks. He was unable to stop comparing the peaceful expression you wore in your sleep to the heartbreak he’d seen while on the stairs.

The room was silent, but his mind was loud as he spiraled, thoughts fixated on how he'd failed you. Had Rhysand sent him away to Windhaven first thing in the morning on purpose, to set him up for failure? Were there really any rumors of an uprising in the camp? Azriel hadn't found any, and it seemed like a mighty convenient distraction.

By the time Mor arrived home he was visibly seething with no concept of how much time had actually passed while he waited. He barely greeted her, gesturing to your sound asleep form on the bed as he made his exit.

Of course, Azriel was furious on your behalf, but that wasn’t what triggered the bloodlust, not completely. He was supposed to protect you, mind and body, and he failed you so spectacularly. He’d assumed that Rhysand had similar intentions, had fully trusted him to protect you while he was away. He would never be so foolish again, he just hoped that you’d stick around long enough to see that.

What if the damage Rhysand dealt couldn’t be smoothed over by a mere apology.

Studying Rhysand now, he seemed so certain that he could smooth this over. He didn’t seem remotely sorry enough for Azriel’s taste. His free hand clenched into a tight fist, something eerily similar to hatred bubbled in him like acid. If Rhysand didn’t feel guilt or remorse for what he’d done to you, then he certainly didn’t care how his actions impacted him either.

Azriel meet his chosen brother’s beseeching stare with contempt as he spoke, words sharp as they left his lips. “When Feyre was first adjusting to the Night Court, I did everything I could to make her feel comfortable and welcome because one way or the other, I knew she was important to you. That made her important to me too. Well before she became my high lady.”

Something defensive surfaced in Rhysand at the thinly veiled accusation. “Are you implying that I don’t care about my own cousin?”

“No,” Azriel snapped back, “I’m implying that you don’t care about me. How dare you speak to her like that knowing exactly what she means to me.”

Rhysand inhaled sharply through his teeth, fixing Azriel with a stern frown, as if he was the one disappointed in him. “I am the High Lord, Azriel, how many times must I remind you that my duty to my Court has to trump the comfort of those in my Inner Circle? She would have had to face Kier eventually, as you know, he thinks she’s spying on us for him. Was I supposed to risk a civil war because she wasn’t prepared?” Rhysand’s calculating eyes were hard as he paused for a moment, as if considering his next sentence carefully, “Just like how I expect you to make uncomfortable choices for the sake of the Court, I expect her to do what must be done to protect the Court as well. That is what it takes to be a part of my Inner Circle."

At one point, referencing the confrontation with Rhysand after getting caught canoodling with Elain would have sent him over the deep end. That conversation marked the first time he truly questioned the depth of Rhysand’s compassion for those in his Inner Circle. Even if Rhysand had been right in the long run, the cold way in which he handled it did not settle well with Azriel. For the sake of his family, not the Court, he had backed down and buried the resentment he felt towards Rhysand. It had seemed worth it, to see Elain and Lucien so happy, and Azriel was finding his own happiness too.

Again, Azriel’s siphons blazed. Rhysand could walk all over him as much as he liked, he’d lived through worse well before he’d met him. But he wouldn’t let Rhysand treat you like that even again. You deserved so much better, especially from your High Lord. “Being the fucking High Lord does not give you the right to be an asshole. You know she already struggled with feeling out of place among us, you didn’t have to confirm her worst fears to get her to cooperate.”

“I know!” Rhysand snapped, trying a bit harder to pull away from Azriel and straighten to his full height, a warning gleaming in his eyes when Azriel didn't yield. He’d sooner rip the tunic all the way down the front than let Rhysand stand tall right now.

“I knew she would push back,” Rhysand continued, sounding offended. Good. “I knew I would have to be more stern with her than I’ve ever been before. I had a plan, but hadn’t accounted for what her magic would feel like when it went on the offensive. I didn’t know it could go on the offensive, I don’t think she knew she was doing it, she zoned out for about a couple minutes in the middle of the argument, totally unresponsive and just blankly staring at me. I couldn’t penetrate her mental shields at all. Her magic protected her from my own fiercely. I wasn’t ready, and my magic took the bait, I lost control of the situation. I’m going to apologize to her, Az. I’m going to explain myself.”

Azriel searched Rhysand’s face for any sign of deception, growing cross with Nesta and Mor for not mentioning the odd behavior earlier. Tense seconds of silence passed as Azriel processed the new information. Rhysand stayed stock still, unwavering under Azriel’s scrutiny. Jaw clenched, he filed this development under ‘suspicious’. He’d agonize over it when he was thinking clearer.

Exhaling a stressed breath, he unclenched the fist at his side. His other hand remained curled in Rhysand’s tunic, unwilling to release him quite yet.

“If she leaves because of this, I do too.” If Azriel’s intentions shocked Rhysand, the High Lord didn’t show it.

Hoisting Rhysand up until he stood up straight, Azriel made sure to tear the fabric down the front a good couple inches for good measure. “Fix. This. Rhys.” With that, Azriel shoved Rhysand away, releasing the collar of the tunic as the High Lord stumbled backwards, the back of his knees bumping into his office chair and toppling it over.

Azriel had nothing left to say to the other male, yet he was still wound so tight. Icy fury and hot protectiveness rushed through him like adrenaline as he turned his back to the High Lord, retreating to the door.

This hadn’t made him feel better at all.

Just as he was about to leave the room, as silent and quick as he arrived, he paused. “Meet me at the training grounds in 20 minutes.” He ordered, casting a challenging look to Rhysand over his shoulder, daring him to correct him for ordering his High Lord around.

When Rhysand remained passive, Azriel added. “Don’t make me come and get you.”

Then he clicked the office door closed behind him, making a beeline for the training grounds. He could sense his shadows scrambling to catch up with him. They’d loitered in Rhysand’s office a few seconds longer than him, and he almost reprimanded them for it. But then one of his bigger shadows materialized, curling down his arm to place his discarded gloves in his waiting palm. He dismissed the shadow, not quite with praise, but thankful nonetheless as he tucked the gloves into a vacant pocket in his leathers. It would have irked him if he had to ask Rhysand for them back, after he threw them to the floor in such a dramatic display only to not throw a single punch.

He’d get those punches in soon though, and he was going to enjoy every single one with bare hands. Then, he would focus his attention on what really mattered, supporting you. One day, he hoped to prove to you that you had people right here who would choose you over their Court every damned time.

Previous Chapter Next Chapter

XxXx

Like Bugs in a Rug Tag List: @f4iry-bell @jediknightjana @microwaveallthedemons olive-main @starswholistenanddreamsanswered @5onedirection5 @lilah-asteria @witchymomfrien @landofpetrichor @quinzzelx @tsibba01 @brieflyclassymortal @hauntedstudentobservationus

#azriel x reader #azriel x you #azriel shadowsinger #acotar #azriel fluff #Like Bugs in a Rug #my writing #kayjaywrites #a court of thorns and roses #rhysand #azriel

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happypotato48 · 10 hours

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Wandee Goodday EP 6 Unhinged Tangant Thoughts

first thing first i would like to issue formal apology to all the Ter haters out there. i can't fix this man i think nobody can, even hephaestus himself would probably give up on this mess. i'm so sorry for in my hubris and horniness i've let Pod pretty face blinded me to the truth (not really i hate him from day one but still 100% would let this man ruin my life cause i'm trash like that baby!)

also also this week random music that popped up in my head during my watch is this.

Something something they're already married even though they're not actually dating.

Hehehe i did this all the time, messy bitch represent!

one of the words here also can means "hard" wink wink.

What are they talking about, sorry i got distracted by Yak's big Bahoogas!

So, I already ripped my first elephant pants yesterday after only wore it two times. haha, curse me and my fatbutt. definitely going to buy more tho that thing is super comfy in thailand weather.

"Only let good dicks in"

I'm seeing potential here. WHAT! it's not like they're actually related irl >.>

Damn Dee you even put on his pants.

Why are you like this! bitch you wears his pants right now. you're down so bad you already in whatever country that is on the other side of the world from thailand.

I thought he was going to point downward when i first watched this. hehehe.

Fuck this dude. and yes i mean both ways. look look if i was pining for this ahole for 8 years at least i need to get 1 good fuck out of it, after that we can stop talking to each other.

"Sure Jan"

I love this show so much also best "product placement" ever.

These nerds i can't even with them.

Eyebrows nooo!

"Prepare for trouble and make it double!"

Dee, you're like an open book and not even a good one.

Ok ok, so i think this take place in yaowarat which is i think where Cher is from so maybe there is more to this then just loan sharks. and the sequel/prequel book that i haven't read yet, Wansook Wittaya is a story of how Yei and Cher got together. so maybe they're pulling some stuff from that book. idk, just random thought.

With this scene now i'm on the mind set that Cher wasn't really thinking that Yei has someone else in the other ep. he just insecure that after being together for so long their relationship is going stale. that's my read at least cause he wasn't seemed very jealous in that ep.

Ahhhhhhhhh they're so cute. i'm so happy we finally got more cute stuff with this two in one ep.

Meh it still a hellhole full of rich Aholes, but yeah when the moments are right that place can feels magical sometime.

I love this corny ass man so much.

it looks like love, Dee, it looks like love.

I'm swooned. floored and full. this ep gave me so many tender moments. and god i loved these two dumb nerds so much. even though they're definitely realized their true feelling, they're still being very loveablely dumb about it. Dee being in denied and Yak continuing to sends his signals all over the place. but finally look like that will come to an end in the next ep and i'm for one ready for it.

#wandee goodday #thai bl #bl drama #dumb boy unhinged thoughts

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etherealsworldvision · 3 days

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What is a step you can take toward your own well-being?

Before I begin the reading I’d like to take a moment to talk about: Marine Conservation Institute. They’re a non-profit organization working to defend our ocean by advocating for stronger protection and to save the ocean for all of us and future generations. If you’re interested do check them out and if you’d like to further support this organization click donate.

New song discovery for the reading: Elijah Waters - Perfectly Silent

Pile 1 Pile 2 Pile 3

P.S.A 🚨 : I do not give personal readings!

Added Description: all my readings are timeless and meant to reach those who resonate to the messages.

[ Collective Messages: 234 (or 2:34? I’m not religious but for some reason I got this?); Leaving the past behind; Elevating; Patience; Timing; Learning to walk again; Stumbling; Material abundance; Getting news about material/job offers; Your confirmation is Yes; Positive changes; Water wheel finally turning; Think before speaking; Rainbows and Sunshine. Mars Placements.]

Pile 1

“My head is like a washing machine. Tried to wash away these thoughts, still can’t get clean.”

Cards: 9 of Wands Reversed; Emperor; 10 of Cups Reversed; Empress Reversed; 2 of Hearts; Queen of Clubs; Six of Clubs

[ Messages: Stubborn; Self-Sabotage; Fear of Change; Overthinking; Stagnation; “Just Do It”; Red Sox; Baseball; Taking initiative; Ares; Aries placement; Coffee; Accepting your heart; Janine Teagues; “Things will go wrong whether you’re doing what you want or not. For me, regrets are always harder to live with than consequences. I don’t regret […] living my life to the fullest […] it’ll be alright, trust me.”– Mr. Johnson ( Abbott elementary S3EP14 timestamp 16:10 - 17:08). ]

The first thing standing out to me is your emotional and mental health. You may be experiencing a time where you’re unable to take care of yourself. This isn’t to shame you, I just want to acknowledge that you’re already doing enough. If no one said this to you today; I am so proud of you. Another thing I do want to say is: please reach out to your support system or check in with yourself. Honestly you don’t need to prove anything to be deserving of love and happiness. It’s okay to want and need something that emotionally fulfills you.

I feel like this pile is very independent and an over-thinker which can cause burnout, as well as aiding in self-sabotaging tendencies. For some reason I feel like you may “psych yourself out of it,” meaning you’re so excited about something only to get worried before having a chance. I know it’s a hard pill to swallow but it needs to be said. Self-sabotaging and overthinking is what’s holding you back. You may be experiencing Imposter Syndrome and Control issues as a result.

With the emperor, empress, and queen of clubs here — you are very much qualified to go after what you want. It does look like you're someone who knows what to do, is aware of the things you need, and what you want. I don’t know if it is a job or related to your social life, however, there’s this feeling of being overqualified for something or feeling deserving of more/better.

There is also a confirmation here that things will get better and you will get what you want. However, it is you who decides to go after it. I do recommend looking up books about self-sabotaging or YouTube videos about this topic. If you are in therapy, maybe this is a subject you’d like to bring up?

A good question to ask yourself is: What have I always accepted as true that turned out to be false?

So that’s all I’m getting. I know this reading is short and straightforward. I would like to say thank you for taking your time reading this and I hope this reading resonates with you.

Pile 2

[ Cards: King of Swords; The Devil Reversed; Page of Wands; Queen of Cups; King of Spades; 3 of Hearts; Jack of Diamonds; 5 of Hearts ]

Messages: Retreating; Refuting; Verbally Vindictive; 3H Mars; Leo or Cancer Mars; Fire and Water Placements; Trauma Dumping; Changes in Communication; Online Regina George Trope; Air Signs (Specifically Suns); Birthdays; Online Personality; Healing; Dictator - Rei Ami; YouTube commentary or essays about online ( trends )

I feel a bit overwhelmed when reading this pile. As if I have to be someone I’m not? I feel that social media is really coming in, especially TikTok/Twitter discourses. There’s this sense of having to upkeep and over consume to be considered a: ✨main character✨ otherwise “you’re just not cool and an utterly boring, basic loser, yuck 🤢 🤮, You’re not even a side character yikes.” /J (I am using sarcasm and joking).

For some of you I get the feeling that this could be stemming from social media addiction, others it may be, that you are embodying the online personality. Over all this just feels like a huge weight on your shoulders or a ball and chain on your leg. In an odd way; maybe your phone or whatever you use is home to you? It’s where you can express yourself via feelings, personality, opinions, etc. This is in no way to shame you at all. I also use social media and so does the next person, right?

There’s this need to give yourself a balance again. To double check with yourself on how you’re feeling after using social media. I feel most of you are ready to gain control of your media consumption or at least contemplate the effects it has on you. Taking a step back from social media — maybe trying out a hobby or just reconnecting to something that makes you feel like you may help.

Also if you want YouTube recommendations on over consuming let me know, I can send you the links. The number one takeaway is that it’s okay to be yourself. You being you is main character energy. No amount of products, social media influenced personality, or aesthetics can take that away from you. You are enough, I promise you that. It’s okay to want to change but if you’re feeling influenced by something that isn’t true to you then you might want to ponder on that and ask if that is really what you resonate with.

A good question to ask yourself is: What is one small step I can take today towards a goal that feels out of reach?

That’s all I’m getting for you pile 2! If you stuck around this far I’d like to say thank you so much. I greatly appreciate it and hope you resonate with this reading.

Pile 3

[ Cards: 4 of Cups, Ace of Pentacles Reversed; Five of Pentacles Reversed; Queen of Cups; 9 of Diamonds; 6 of Diamonds; Queen of Diamonds; Ace of Hearts ]

Messages; Open mind and heart; Chihiro by Billie Eilish; Money Growth; Finances; Earth and Water placements; Fear of Missing Out; Take out; Diners; Over consumption; Capitalism; Low Income; 111; Unemployment

( Tw: financial experience and control issues. Disclaimer: for some reason I feel called to talk about my financial experience and how I dealt with this. Maybe you’ll find what you’re looking for in my experience? )

So I had been unemployed for two years then found a job for 3 months then unemployed again for a year. When I tell you, I searched for a job everywhere, I mean everywhere! I applied everywhere and every time. I even tried to save what I could and budget with what I had (I live with my family and occasionally would get money. I understand/am aware of the privilege and support I have. I’m also very grateful and appreciate them)

I yelled at the universe, cried, and had sleepless nights. However, what helped me (besides living with my family) through this tough time is to focus on things I can control while applying for jobs. That’s what honestly made me stay afloat. So maybe this is what can help you during this trying time?

Finding a (free) third place meaning: the park, public library, or just a walk may help ease a bit of tension. Sometimes journaling or confiding with someone will help as well. Doing something that helps you remain in the present and eases the anxiousness could help. I know this may not be what you were looking for and I wish I can give you financial advice but that is not my forte.

There is only so much control we have when it comes to finances and it is certainly not a lesson from the universe or it’s not happening to you or happening for you. I don't care what they say, it is not a lesson! It is just an unfortunate situation to be in, it just is. Like yes you can learn from it but it is not something (pre)destined or “contract” written. It just happens and we live in late stage capitalism. That’s me being real with you.

So yeah, I’m sorry for the little tangent. What I am getting is to fill your emotional cup for the meantime. Yes, do what you need to do with your finances; finding a job or to save/budget money whatever you can do to the best of your abilities.

You just have to remember to do things that are within your control and to not neglect your emotional/mental health. If singing, drawing, talking, or simple things like cloud watching helps you stay present and makes you feel in control then by all means do that.

I’m not saying to use escapism but I am saying to do your best to emotionally check in with yourself from time to time. Also if you have a support system do talk with them or be around them. A good question to ask yourself is: “Who do I feel most myself around? Why?”

This is all that I’m getting for the reading. I hope this reading resonates. Again, I am so sorry if I made things worse or didn’t help! Please remember to check in with yourself — take care :)

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felassan · 13 hours

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this post is just some thoughts on/speculation re: the recent news (the new blog post and the IGN article etc). under a cut for length.

I’m so excited for the official first look at the gameplay!! (ofc) and psyched that it’s happening in early summer as opposed to late summer like August or thereabouts. it feels surreal in a good way that it’s now basically ‘DA:TV Eve’ :D With 15+ minutes of gameplay from the start of the game, we could gain a lot of new information and context such as who the PC is, where the story kicks off and the premise/framing of the story, who the starting companions are, etc.

it surprised me that the name of the game changed, but I like the new title, I think it’s cool and unusual and from dev comments it's not something they decided on a whim or anything. a title change makes sense in the light that Solas isn’t the only focus of the game or the only player on the board – that he’s a key player, but not the heart of it, and the companions are who is being centered. in any event the feel of a title to like say and stuff for me doesn’t affect gameplay or what it’s like interacting with characters etc. I would play this game if it was called Dragon Age: The Quantum Blorbening anyway.

‘The Veilguard’ is the name of our crew of companions, as in a group or faction. (It reminds me of “the Kingsguard”.) Obviously we can see from the name that this group will be involved in protecting and defending the barrier between the Fade and the waking world in some manner. I wonder, will it be a group we form, or a group we join/are recruited into? They must be a fairly recent addition to Thedas. What’s their relation to the Veil Jumpers, if any? Does the existence of the Veilguard imply that the theories that the game will begin with the Veil torn down already aren’t the case? Will the Veilguard always want to protect the Veil during the story, or will there come a point when they re-evaluate that idea? It sounds like they’re always able to take down the new evil threat, but will they always be able (or always want to) to prevent the Veil from being destroyed? also, in-world, who named them The Veilguard?

Maybe our PC’s own ‘title’ (Warden, Hero, Inquisitor, Herald of Andraste, kinda thing) will be Veil Guardian or Guardian of the Veil or something like that..? we obviously won’t be the only veil guard, but while the DA:O PC was ‘the Hero of Ferelden’, in-game they often were referred to in passing simply as Grey Warden or The Warden, despite there being another Warden present (Alistair). When the devs have been talking about The Avengers, I think about that and also get Guardians of the Galaxy kinda vibes. With Varric and Harding’s storyline in DA: The Missing, I wonder if he will be like the Nick Fury (he kind of brought the Avengers together and coordinated them right? Or at least recruited them all, put the team together?), with Harding joining the team itself..? Avengers assemble, form Voltron, etc. with stuff like “you’ll unite this team of unforgettable heroes”, it sounds like the PC (as in previous games) will end up leading the group in some manner, even if they are new to the squad. That reminds me of the HoF. ^^

Somewhere out there in the multiverse, on a different plane, DA4 came out and it was a multiplayer game. it’s good to hear about refocusing on creating a singleplayer game with a focus on characters, choices & decisions, worldbuilding, companionship with characters with their own deep storylines that intersect with the main plot etc, with the customizable hero and the cast of their companions at the center of an SP story. and no online team members, no live service etc.

The world of Thedas itself is still my favorite ‘character’ :D

Warden, Hawke, Inquisitor mention. 🥺

I don’t mind one way or the other about most gameplay specifics. Some of the aspects of combat gameplay (of course, I’m just guessing based on reading some lines in an article atm), like the pausing the action and the ability wheel to give orders, sound like ME: Andromeda gameplay, and Andromeda had good gameplay/combat gameplay that was fun and fluid to play.

One thing I am 😔 about tho is the change of party size from 3 companions to 2. I love Mass Effect and it’s a 3-person squad in that series too (and it works well ofc both in terms of gameplay and dynamics), but I’ll still miss having 3 companions with me in DA :< esp in a game with such a focus on the characters/companions. What can I say, I’m just a blorbo hoarder. I’ll also miss all party members being directly controllable.

I wonder if the 7 companions (seven is a lucky number ^^) will have a class split like 2 warrior/2 rogue/2 mages+1 ‘unique/special’ companion (e.g. Dog, Shale – maybe the flaming head Skellington?) or +1‘extra/secret’ companion or something (e.g. Loghain).

Also, speculatively, being that we’ve never had a qunari woman as a companion before, I hope one is a qunari woman, and since we’ve never had a dwarf woman as a companion before in a ‘main’ game (ily sigrun), I hope one will be a dwarf woman. That also makes me curious about the race and gender split of the 7. Maybe it’s like 2 humans/2 elves/1 qunari/1 dwarf/1 ‘unique or special’ (e.g. Shale)..? Maybe it’s like 3 men/3 women/1 nonbinary person, or the first 6 are a mix of men, women and nonbinary people, and the seventh is something like Dog or a spirit or something?

There were 6 companions in ME1. In DAII, there were 8 in the base game (Seb was DLC), but Bethany/Carver were only around for part of the game. today one of the main things people love most about DAII is its cast of companions. ^^ also, with the way the devs talk about the companions, it's giving "Found Family" trope vibes. that's another thing that people love a lot about DAII. ^^

will it just be the 7 of us, like the crew in DA2? Will it be like in DA:I, where the organization (Inquisition/Veilguard in this case) has main figures/an inner circle, but also commands other people? Or will it be like Mass Effect, where you have a crew which is comprised of companions (in this case 7) who join you on the field as well as a few other developed characters that hang out at ‘home base’? on the number paring down from 9 to 7, I’d rather quality and depth over quantity. In ME2, Kasumi and Zaeed (as DLC) didn’t have proper conversations on the ship. I wonder if “pare down” refers to it being versus the number of companions we had in DA:I, or whether at some point in development of DA:TV there used to be more than 7 companions and some were cut.

each of the 7 companions is from/represents a different faction. For example, while not stated to be a companion in the trailer he was revealed in, it's common speculation that he is, and Davrin is a Grey Warden. Going by the 4 factions Varric and Harding deal with in The Missing, surely 4 of these companion backstory factions in DA:TV are the Grey Wardens, the Antivan Crows, the Veil Jumpers and the Shadow Dragons. And the other 3..? the Lords of Fortune are a new addition to the lore that have also been prominent in recent material. A Grey Warden, an Antivan Crow, and a Veil Jumper walk into a bar.. : ) the composition of The Veilguard is reminding me of Duncan’s words about the Grey Wardens: “Men and women from every race, warriors and mages, barbarians and kings.”

I’m nervous about upsetting or getting the new companions killed already HH.

It’s nice to read how strongly they feel about the new characters and their stories.

I’m so excited to explore all the regions and varied biomes.

I’m still not clear/sure on whether “you can romance the companions you want” means all 7 companions are bi/pan+, or that there are no non-romanceable companions among the 7 (like no Stens or Varrics), or whether it was more like a general off-hand comment that can’t be read into that much.

I wonder if the Varric-narrated in-game cinematic from 1 year ago plays at the start of the game? Or after we meet Varric?

here is a link to a ramble/speculation about the new logo/icon.

All of Thedas is at risk from a big, scary new threat. As we know, Solas was never the only being interested in the Veil and its removal or destruction. (you can also outline lots of reasons why it should be brought down, like the way the world used to be, elven immortality, the effect on mages/magic etc). it’s also long been theorized that Solas isn’t the main threat/main antagonist in DA4, and maybe more like the Dragon to someone/something else, or a figure like Loghain in DA:O, who you can kill or convince to join you in your fight against the real overarching threat, in that case the Blight. Corypheus broke the Veil in the Red Lyrium future. Demons always want to cross it. the Evanuris are trapped in some way that involves the Veil being in place. Flemythal can never achieve true vengeance while her killers are sleeping or imprisoned somewhere she can’t reach. The Bio25 book says that “The Evil Gods have Thedas in their sights” and that “shadows of the past stir”. It also says that the “Deep Roads teem with evils both new and old”. There are theories about a double Blight. The most recent trailer has someone gushing “Glory to the Risen Gods. They’ve come to deliver this world”. Tevinter Nights hints at fck-knows-what – places and beings, “past the Veil of our world, neither demon nor spirit”, things with chthonic kinda vibes. Etc. a threat being “unleashed” has the implication of someone let something go.. or someone.. let something in... there are also other groups and beings to consider, like the Old Gods, the Forgotten Ones, the Executors.

I thought this phrasing from the IGN article was interesting, though it's not a direct quote from Gary. “Solas, who helped create the Veil, now wants to destroy it.” Helped create? Until now it was more like “Solas created the Veil”. Helped who..? 👁️

The other evil threats/the real threats, these ‘other gods’ (Gary McKay mentions them twice: “it might not just be Solas”, “the Dread Wolf is not the only god” you need be worried about), are surely the upside-down figures in this mural, right? Surely they are the “Evil Gods” (whoever /they/ are) mentioned in the Bio25 book, right? :D

#long post #longpost #video games #dragon age #mj and the world #dragon age: the veilguard #dragon age: dreadwolf #dragon age 4 #the dread wolf rises #da4 #bioware #solas

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biolumien · 15 hours

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Hi omg your writing is amazing. Thank you for serving us some good food. Was wondering if you could do a prompt with Vice Captain Hoshina and a reader with glasses?

I've recently been diagnosed with really bad eyesight. Enough for me to get a disability card. And suddenly it makes sense why I always struggle to find people in crowds or from a distance. Was wondering if you could do write something related to it? Like maybe reader lost Hoshina in a crowd. And because their vision is super blurry even with glasses, its hard to make out where he is and stuff.

I recently read your Samurai Hoshina fic and it was divine. 🙏 Keep it up you are a godsend.

notes: hihi, thank you for your request and your kind words ;-;; i hope this is okay; i wrote a little drabble so i hope it's okay🙏...!

found you!

soshiro hoshina x gn!reader mentions of a constricting, tight crowd that might be uncomfortable if you have claustrophobia and the like ;-; word count: 708

you wish you hadn’t lost hoshina in the crowd after all. when the kaiju attack was called, he’d leaped into action, even off-duty, pulling off his button-down shirt to reveal the izumo tech suit still underneath.

“stay here. i’ll come back for you later. i promise.” he’d kissed you on the head, despite your growing protests that it wasn’t safe, and quickly before pulling out his twin katanas and pushing deep into the scattered crowd to confront the kaiju threat. it’d been hard to see the fight in the distance, but you thought you saw a gigantic plume of smoke forming a hazy mirage over the horizon, and the faint flickering of orange and yellow of a possible fire. it’d terrified you, but hoshina could handle himself. you knew that much.

but now that the kaiju had been dispersed, you still saw no sign of him. you’d been corralled away along with the rest of the civilians towards a shelter, but when the defense force officer in charge of overseeing your shelter came back with the announcement that civilians were free to return back outside, hoshina was still nowhere to be found. when you’d asked the defense force officer if there was any sign of hoshina, he’d simply shrugged.

“i thought he was off duty for today.”

decidedly unhelpful, but what made it worse was that you couldn’t really parse through the crowd at all. you were surrounded by a horde of strangers, each of their features as blurry and indistinct as the next, trying to ignore the pounding in your heart. hoshina’s red eyes, the warmth of his smile. he’d said he’d come back, and there was no way he’d let just any old kaiju kill him. that was utterly impossible, right? you swallow, trying to ignore the rising panic in your chest.

and somehow, the crowd, seeming to respond to your panic, only seemed to thicken, pressing up against you.

“sorry, sorry,” you murmur weakly as you bump into a stranger. “sorry. i’m–i’m just trying to–”

the words soon die on your throat as someone from the back of the crowd continues to push you forward. you look around, cursing the fact that you couldn’t see where anything was too distinctly–you don’t even think you remember the signposts that were close to you when hoshina told you to stay put. your pace falters for a moment, as you try to gather your bearings–but before you can, you get slammed so hard from behind that your glasses fall off your face, skittering to the ground.

you drop down, trying to feel for them, because suddenly your head hurts and you don’t know what to do. you think something like a strangled sob leaves your lips.

“found you.”

you look up towards the source of the voice, even your peripheral vision blurry enough that you could only make out a vague dark shape on your shoulder, and another dark shape wrapping around your wrist–a hand, thankfully–pulling you to your feet.

“hoshina,” you say, relief creeping into your voice.

“hey,” hoshina says softly, tender fondness in his voice. your hands fumble, not quite sure what to do, and you can feel the soft subtle breath of hoshina’s shaking laugh. “lean forward for me?”

you do, and hoshina places your glasses back on your face, his fingers gentle.

he seems thankfully unharmed as he comes back into focus, but your hands reach up to touch his face, to map the way his cheekbones feel against your thumbs.

“why the hell did you run off like that?” you ask, slapping your hands on his face with a little more force. he winces, laughing–you feel the corners of his lips quirk up, the way his cheeks press up as he smiles. “and you left me, too!”

“i’m sorry,” hoshina says, only sincerity in his voice. “i didn’t mean to leave.”

“i know you didn’t–you couldn’t have predicted the kaiju attack–but don’t just rush off without giving a more concrete plan of where you’ll be,” you scold. “i don’t think my heart could take if if i couldn’t find you again.”

hoshina nods, leaning forward to press his forehead to yours.

“i’m sorry,” he murmurs quietly. “i’ll always find you, okay? i promise.”

#kaiju no 8 #soshiro hoshina #soshiro hoshina x reader #hoshina soshiro x reader #kaiju no 8 x reader #x reader #kn8 x reader

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delicrieux · 3 days

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𝑻𝑰𝑴𝑬 𝑻𝑶 𝑷𝑹𝑬𝑻𝑬𝑵𝑫, 8. year one: october 28th to 30th, 1972

pairing for this chapter—f!lestrange!reader x barty crouch jr. warnings for this chapter—sum swearing, implied underage drinking (not reader), being a bad friend word count—3.4k

your birthday has officially arrived, not without some notable oddities.

author's note: missed being a miserable tween. also who can tell that barty might have a crush on her? not me definitely

masterlist | buy me coffee☕ | ttp masterlist | < back | next >

“so,” dorcas sounds, and the way she purposefully moves her head in your peripheries implies she will say something you won’t necessarily like, “your birthday is coming up,” a quick look from you, up and down – from the tips of her muddy boots to the wind-swept hair. a few snowflakes sit nestled between the curls, and her eyes crinkle with mischief, “are you having a party?”

you try your best to breeze through the clock tower courtyard unscathed, “no,” you state. lie. not exactly. it’s complicated, “what? why? have you heard something?”

she snorts, “nope, just asking. you seem to have a lot of friends.”

you suppose you are outstandingly popular. anyone approached is your friend upon a hello, but you only say such a thing to those worthy of your attention. most, of course, are in some even minuscule way related to your family. your immediate circle is just cousins. dorcas is, so far, the only one you’d never approach yourself, simply because she’s unremarkable and also a gryffindor.

somehow, still, you cannot shake her, and once the tremors of hysteria had melted into the hum-drum, you found yourself not wanting to do so, which unnerved you much more than her immediate presence at all times of the day. most times of the day. you try not to engage in public, especially in the sights of bartimus, marzipan, and matilda. barty you could still, perhaps, calm – a pointed look and a promise to tattle on some secret you’ve uncovered about him to his parents would make him malleable.

the girls, however, would propose a difficulty. they’re already proposing a difficulty. the odd stares you receive at times when dorcas waves at you, all with a good-natured smile that you feel, in those moments, you don’t entirely deserve.

hence, the haste. hence, you try to lose her, but she’s much more fit and much better at keeping up than her unsuspecting appearance might hint.

“yes, well,” you start, heat dousing your body and damp robes. the inside of the castle is warm this time of year as the elements grow increasingly unruly and cold. the dry air scratches at the back of your throat, and you inhale with a sniffle and a poorly masked cough, “i’m not planning anything.”

and you aren’t, truly, but that doesn’t mean no celebration will take place. in fact, based on what marzy and matilda are trying so hard to hide (and do such a honestly horrendous job, with all smug smiles and loud whispers and giggles a pitch too high), there’s an old classroom being transformed for a small gathering – forty people or so – to toast to your good health, mesmerizing beauty, unbridled potential, and immeasurable talent. you quite look forward to it, but you aren’t responsible for the invitations, as it’s supposed to be a surprise.

and even if you were, surely you couldn’t extend one to dorcas. a no name from a muggle family. she would be out of place.

more so, she would feel out of place. you doubt she’d be offered a warm welcome, and you couldn’t offer one to her either, not without being subjected to the potent glares and displeased remarks from those around you.

such a situation is not beneficial for anyone involved. thus, you are a good friend from sparing her of this ache, sparing the rest the discomfort, and sparing yourself a howler.

“i might throw a party for my birthday,” she says, stopping at the cross-roads where you must part – her for charms and you for potions. she fixes the strap of her book bag, bending somewhat under the weight, “will you come? if i decide to do one after all. ‘s quite far, still.”

“when is it?” you ask, somewhat impatient. your eyes scurry the interior, but no familiar faces as of yet.

“april,” ah, thank merlin, “april sixth.”

you shrug, but you don’t manage to meet her gaze, “maybe. if i’m not too busy. i’ll mark it on my calendar just in case.” april is still ways away, and by that time, you might figure out what to do with her.

she smiles, “i’ll hold you to it. don’t suppose you want anything?” you give her a puzzled look, “like, a gift.”

“oh, no,” you can’t imagine there’s anything she could give you that would please you and that would also be within her budget. once again, your endless compassion and big, open heart are on fervent display. if matilda and marzy knew (unpleasant details aside), they’d give you a standing ovation for your selflessness. it’s a bit vexing that dorcas doesn’t seem to share the sentiment. perhaps she’s a simpleton, “got nothing in mind.”

“okay, well, i’ll think of something then,” she says, one step back, “later!” and away.

you have no qualms with lying. you’ve done it your whole life. your first words, perhaps, were, too, some miniature lie. lying is no different than playing, and playing is no different from acting, and acting is lying, and so it’s really not a big deal. you don’t know any other way of being, and you quite enjoy having others bend to your smiles or your frowns. most go great lengths to appease you.

even now, you claim to have accidentally forgotten your quill, when in reality, you didn’t pack it on purpose. regulus, always having a spare, gives you his own, and makes you promise not to lose it. you complain that it’s uncomfortable in your hand, and that the colour is ugly, but in fact you do like the deep brown shade and firm edge of the feather.

bartimus sets up your cauldron because your wrist hurts from the frigid cold, and evan measures the ingredients – he’s much more precise and curious about potions, and he does it unprompted, almost as if it’s expected of him. it sort of is.

you have no qualms with lying, but you pause when bartimus asks, “what’s with that gryffindor following you around everywhere?”

your heart thumps, and the cool, damp potions classroom rises in temperature. all in all, it’s the most polite way he could have phrased the question, oddly mindful of professor slughorn’s all hearing ears lingering just close enough for him to behave himself.

“i’m blackmailing her,” is the only thing that comes to mind, and it does sound convincing. so convincing, in fact, your tone and look implies that he’s the stupid one to consider otherwise.

evan frowns, peering at you over the vapours emitting from his cauldron, “blackmailing her? why?”

you shrug, “because it’s fun.”

“seems awfully happy to be blackmailed, if you ask me,” regulus comments coolly.

“please, told her if someone was to catch a whiff of distress on her, then, well, she’ll certainly have something to be distressed about,” you move the ladle and mix your potion and thud-thud thud-thud thud-thud, “you’re a terrible extortionist if you can’t manage otherwise. rodolphus said he had all sorts of minions from other houses. can’t embarrass the family.”

“right,” barty raised a brow, “rabby’s embarrassment enough.”

you bristle at the words, true as they be. still, pride and blood are important, “your whole family tree’s in gryffindor. think before you speak, crouch.”

“sparks are flying,” he grins, “or is it just me?”

“as if i could ever look at your gaunt face and find anything appealing,” you snip, “you should learn some manners when speaking to your elders.”

“sincerest apologies, madam strange.”

“shut it, both of you,” evan grumbles, carefully dropping some powder into his mixture. it hisses and gurgles and a new set of fumes spew, “can’t concentrate with all this yapping.”

“woof,” barty sounds.

“dog,” you spit.

“bitch.”

you gasp and throw the nearest object your hand grabs, which is a (sadly) closed bottle of ink. he ducts just in time, but the impact makes the glass shatter, leaving a scary red splotch on the wall.

bartimus straightens as slughorn strides over to check on the disturbance. a brief explanation from evan is accepted without hassle, and the wreckage is handled by a flick of the professor’s wand. a disapproving look and a quick glance at regulus as a reprimand and everything goes back to normal, including barty and you, who is doing a masterful job of ignoring him and pretending your breathing hasn’t been affected in any way.

eventually class does wrap up and everyone leaves for the next lesson. you walk with evan and regulus, bartimus trotting a couple feet behind like a faithful hound, waiting to serve, ever the sycophant. you wonder if it's too late to beg matilda and marzy to revoke his invitation to your birthday party, because you know for a fact that he has one. possibly tossed it into a bin upon notice, but he had definitely, at the very least, seen it.

***

there’s a snow storm on your birthday, a harsh, miserable gust that rages across the landscape and traps everyone inside. so dense you can’t see out the windows, and so cold frost bleeds to water from glass pains and drips in rivulets on the tiles. it’s too early for such weather, but not entirely unheard of. when you were very little, rodolphus told you that mother and father found you in a heap of snow, warm and unharmed. now, of course, you have a technical understanding of how children are made, but shockingly, you had stoutly believed your brother till late last spring, till your first blood and that slightly uncomfortable but enlightening conversation with aunt greengrass.

matilda knew this already, by a few good months, which revealed why, at the time, she always seemed a bit snootier than usual, as if she had figured out something very important and negated to share. for the remaining spring and the whole of summer, the two of you had grown closer and left marzipan out – what could she, still but a child, understand about the woes of burgeoning adulthood? it had left her a bit desolate, and she had spent her holiday chasing sirius around, and as she smothers you in a tight hug with sleepy happy birthday whispered into your hair, you think you still haven’t forgiven her for it.

naturally, you have taken extra pains to make yourself prettier. your hair is glossier, and your uniform is tidier, and there’s a sheen of cherry lipbalm covering your mouth. narcissa, when she saw you, told you to wipe it off, and you did, only to reapply it when she wasn’t looking.

breakfast, the great hall’s polite congratulations, slytherin students that you almost recall the names of coming to wish you a joyous day. some revenclaws and marzipan’s brother come bearing chocolate toffies. it’s the same procedure as evan’s and matilda’s – the former’s birthday was just a few weeks into september, and matilda celebrated on october first.

you share the candies with the boys. evan takes one, regulus takes one, bartimus takes seven (to spite you, you believe), and you’re left with two. you offer one to marzipan, and she takes it with a smile, and offer one to matilda, who refuses, saying she’s on a diet. marzy’s expression crumbles, and she returns the treat, “never mind, not that hungry.”

“did you eat a strawberry?” bartimus asks, mouth full of toffies.

you frown, “what?”

“shit on your lips, what happened to table manners?”

“ignore him,” regulus interjects pointedly, “how are you feeling?” as in, how is it like to be twelve. bartimus’ birthday is just after sirius’, and so, regulus is the youngest of the present quartet, which leaves him naturally distressed.

evan scoffs, “’s no different.”

“i feel different,” you inform primly.

barty snorts, “don’t look different. still stupid.”

“hope you choke on that,” you glare. he snickers, the dolt, properly pleased to have ruffled your feathers. a quick communication between you and your pudding has you decided that you might despise bartimus crouch, or, more so, you despise the smug look he seems to fashion only when he’s pestered you into a foul mood.

briefly, you sweep the present crowd, and you spot dorcas sat among her friends, a table away. the sight alarms you somehow. perhaps it’s the picture of her happiness.

she must’ve felt you looking (such is the power of your gaze) because she perks up. twinkling brown eyes meet yours, and she waves with a grin, almost rising to approach, but your flash of an uncomfortable smile leaves her seated. when you glance around if anyone noticed, it’s only regulus that gives you a strange look, but says nothing.

sirius and his friends pass you as you tumble out the great hall. he, expectantly, walks right past, and it stings, but it stings even more when james calls your name much too cheerfully and says, “happy birthday!”

you walk past him as sirius had walked past you, without a moment of hesitation.

“you blackmailing him as well?” evan, surprisingly, asks.

you huff, “no, please hex him out of existence.”

“could be arranged,” barty says after an uncharacteristically thoughtful pause.

***

there’s definitely something more than punch being covertly served to the older students, but not like it matters much – you catch not a whiff of it, nor is any offered to you. suppose you are suspicious by the entirely inconspicuous clusters of people that exchange something and then part hurriedly with sour expressions that bleed into blushed faces and tipsy grins.

matilda, you note, is laughing ditzy with a second year slytherin. you suspect something nefarious, and make it clear with the slight narrow of your eyes. she cares not for it, which slights you, because it’s your birthday and you’re the most important person present.

speaking of, a pile of presents sits on a table, all expensive and neatly wrapped trinkets you possibly have no use for. still, the growing pile pleases you – once back in your dorm, it’ll be a challenge to go through it in a single night. you might just open a new one each day and have no gift-free evenings for the better part of the school year, but you are too impatient.

it’s all very pretty. the ceiling was enchanted to a deep, gleaming blue-violet, rippling along the dim, sparkling lights as though underwater. luminescent bubbles, a faint glittery mist, and floating incandescent jellyfish, translucent, yet you still raise your hand to touch one, feeling the slight coolness once it passes your fingers. you hadn’t asked who’s responsible for this display of magic, but you suspect it being narcissa.

when you smile at your ostentatious cake and count the flickering candles, you can only think of one wish – i wish sirius would come back to me. you inhale and then blow in one full swoop. the room drowns in cheers.

there’s faint music floating above your head, but nothing as interesting as to what sirius had made you listen to all those nights ago. you dance with evan, who seems much more awkward than you, and then with a few older students, with rabastan (unwillingly), and then with your girls. regulus had overtly refused your hand without explanation.

“it’s my birthday,” a demand. an excuse you can use only once a year, and you extort it fully.

he seems conflicted in the blue light, lastly, “fine. don’t step on my toes.”

dancing with regulus is different than dancing with sirius – regulus is shorter and younger, and his grip isn’t as firm, and he doesn’t once look you in the eye, and you’re a bit bored through most of it.

the night dwindles on, and you spot bartimus.

he catches you staring, and so he raises his cup, sat beside his older friends – a few second and third years that seem to be enthralled by his presence. it strikes you, strangely, how popular he seems to be. you don't like it.

and he's not exactly ugly, despite your claims. tallish, the tallest of your lot, a long neck, neat auburn hair, sharp eyes, maybe. not entirely horrid and twisted as he could have turned out to be or will turn out to be. he seems a bit older, but perhaps it's because he's always been lanky.

no, he is ugly, you think. the lights must've caught him funny, and maybe that's why it seems he's glowing, his pale skin shimmering a ghostly pallor in the enchanted darkness of your birthday celebration, that is yours and yours alone, and no one can steal the shine or the honour or the beauty away.

matilda joins his table, and you note, in great distaste, that she also looks very pretty, and the dress suits her much better than yours does you. all dresses are now suiting matilda better, because this is the body she was born in, and it makes sense that she will always have the upper hand and you will always be behind her, somehow.

you grow unsettled in a way that feels somewhat familiar, but nothing tangible enough to understand.

dorcas would probably laugh. your stomach swoops and then drops, and it feels like the jellyfish swim inside you. dorcas would definitely laugh and pull at matilda's ruffles. and sirius, sirius would laugh with her and he would comment on how the dress is awfully girly and in poor taste, and then you would tell him off, because he has no taste at all, but not in front of dorcas.

you glance at door. sirius isn't here. he was definitely invited, but, of course, he wouldn't attend.

of course. of course of course of course.

matilda, prettier and better, better, it's not fair, doesn't even look at you, not since she knows, of course, she must know you are watching. she can't not know. the parallels and the similarities are obvious in a way they aren't to you. briefly, you think of poisoning her. you could get away with it too. what's a birthday celebration without any diabolical scheming, anyway?

when matilda smiles at someone (bartimus), a creeping sensation crawls beneath your skin. there is definitely some vile deed being done here, but not any of yours, unfortunately. the gathering, you decide, must end, and everyone must leave disappointed and displeased to match your mood.

"punch?" marzipan manifests by your side. you startle, glance to her, note her boyish appearance in relation to matilda's ladylike one, and somehow, her expression manages to irritate you.

"got one," you show your glass for emphasis, "did you happen to notice a grimace on tilda, or are the effects of whatever substance they're pouring into these cups only visible to the sober?"

"not a sip," marzipan sighs, "i've tried asking a third year, said i'm too young," her misery brings you a slight bout of joy. marzipan will be twelve late february, and so, she will always be the odd one out, "did you want any?"

you shake your head, "no, not really. maybe. i dunno."

"doesn't seem like you're having fun," she notes. then, she softly grasps your upper arm and squeezes, "cheer up. it's your birthday."

your smile is terse. the tension has left you feeling sore, like you ran laps and took too hot of a bath and rolled into a very tight sleeping position. you feel a bit wrong.

regulus calls your name, and he drags you away easily and without question. you spare marzy a vaguely apologetic look, leaving her stranded in the middle of the room, all lonesome. she does, at that moment, look entirely pathetic, and maybe you are very tired, because somewhere deep down you feel a pang of something.

you are lead to the darkest corner and let go promptly. before you can complain, regulus pushes something into your hand and says, quietly yet seriously, “i won’t tell.”

he makes scarce afterward, and you’re left confused. truly, this celebration has become more trouble than it’s worth. all these emotions hidden behind an unmoving veneer. it cracks slightly when you take a closer look at your gift.

it’s a handmade card, glued and drawn poorly.

‘to my favourite (and only one i will associate) slytherin, happy birthday. i promise i’m better on the broom than i am at drawing, but i wanted to make you this card anyway. once the skies clear up, let’s go for a ride along the shoreline. i found some sights exploring. we could make a whole adventure out of it. know a perfect location to practice hexes. despite it all, i’m very glad i found you crying. -- your accomplice’

you hug the card without meaning to do it. you just do. you bring it close to your chest and lean your cheek, like it was something precious, and in a way, it is, because this is, by far, the most generous gift you have ever received.

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five-thousand-loaves-of-bread · 2 days

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Hi. I read your post about being an "unreliable narrator" of your own life and I am having Feelings about it.

You said at the end to not respond with "relatable" if not friend/mutual etc. and so I am not doing that.

I am here to say Thank You, because you have given me a new way to describe an experience that I sometimes have.

Of course, my experience is very, very small compared to yours. I can pass as "normal" if I want to.

But still, you shared "Unreliable Narrator of Own Life", and so I would like to share "Executive Function Burnout" with you in return.

Thank you so much for sharing. Really. We are not the same, because no two people are really the same, but I see myself in you, and because I love myself and want myself to be happy, I also want the same things for you.

You are welcome to use "Executive Function Burnout" as a way to explain a thing.

I know words are hard sometimes (not always, but sometimes), so:

Executive = Decision Maker

Function = Capacity

Burnout = Used Up

I like finding connections between words, and translating complicated words into simple words.

I hope you have good rest, whatever that looks like for you. And I'm sorry I put so many words here.

Thank you for sharing. 💜

hey so. you nice about it so do appreciate, n think this problem caused by me not realize need elaborate what count as “say relate,” so that on me, n you tried respect that based on your interpretation, so am also gonna try be calm n nice about it

(tone tag is not mad. i think. well, if am mad it not your responsibility worry abt it)

by “don’t say relate” not just mean don’t say word “relate.” mean include saying anything that can be see as relating—say we similar, borrowing words, say see self in me, etc.

because often am describing level of severity that, unless you also go through, people don’t realize can affect that basic of thing. so people misunderstand to mean something milder. n that frustrate me because am try best to explain self as clear n work with communication disabilities. n history of be speak over by people…. for lack better term less severe in community.

now, don’t know how you (both actual you + general you for non mutuals) actually experience, don’t know how you actually understand. maybe you actually understand perfectly severity + actual experience. am have no way knowing unless know you more. and exact because have no way know unless that, n majority of people have met who do this don’t actually understand n experience, just ask people am not familiar with in general, not to tell me if they feel similar, if they relate.

to illustrate.

“burnout” very very. so very different from what am experiencing what am describe. have been very adamant in “do not call me burnout” because been repeat instances. if you not follow me for while, may not know that. n that okay not know! is why say “don’t say relate,” to prevent me see that.

& “executive function/dysfunction”, in way neurodivergent community typically think n talk about term, not describe what am experiencing.

n reason why say “don’t say relate” is, am can’t control how you feel. you (general you) can’t even control how you feel. can only ask you not do action. so ask you not do action. “relate all you want just don’t tell me.” kind of thing

again, do appreciate you be nice. n do appreciate you mean well, n want give me something in return. misunderstanding from miscommunication n that okay. hope you good day.

may borrow some of what wrote here into new post explain what meant by “not say relate if mutual / friend who experience this”, & why. please know it not target at you, you not only one, it something been thinking about do for while because it kinda unusual.

#answered #long post #🍞.txt

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a-very-sparkly-nerd · 2 days

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the night you danced like you knew our lives would never be the same

Rayla and Ezran dance at her and Callum's wedding. This was inspired by another post, except I cannot find it; if anyone does, please rb, reply, or even DM me with it and I'll be sure to link it here to give credit where credit is due! (PS; accidentally posted this on my sideblog, so I deleted it and copy and pasted it here)

Very few things in Callum’s life were his own.

His staff had once been Ibis’s, office once Viren’s, seat at the council’s table once the former High Mage’s, too. Things that had been lost and passed down along with the bloodshed and betrayal, just as everything seemed to be.

But Rayla was his. Not “his” in a creepy ownership way, but his in that his heart belonged to her, and hers him. His in that they were finally connected in every sense of the word, connected in a way that even life, fate, and history books could never twist.

So even now, with silver cuffs circling her horns and a matching ring finally on his finger, Callum wouldn't– couldn't –let her go far, keeping an arm circled around her waist and occasionally dropping his head to her shoulder, even going so far as to press a kiss to her neck when enough eyes were off them.

He could understand why the elf was popular, in high demand; he'd married her, after all, but it didn't irk him any less. Rayla was the daughter of two Dragonguard and one herself, had returned the Dragon Prince home, had saved the world twice now, and managed to capture the heart of the–apparently–infamously picky and hard-to-please Crown Prince and High Mage of Katolis.

Visiting dignitaries kept asking to dance with her, offer a drink, and while it was nice to see relations between the Pentarchy and Xadia truly blossoming, Callum really just wished everyone would leave so he could be alone with his wife–his wife! He could still scarcely believe it; it still felt like she'd be ripped from his fingers, like the universe decided they had to save the whole entire world again and wanted to hurt her just for the hell of it.

The last time she'd strayed from his side had been back at the Starscraper, the Celestial elves claiming she had to undergo some trial on her own, and the next thing Callum knew, the damn cube had been dropping from his hand and Rayla taking its place, all hell unleashed in the moments after.

So, no. He could hardly stand to let her go far anymore, not when she'd been gods-know-where all on her own for two whole years, not when his unabashed love for her was clear as day and so easily taken advantage of. If she was in his sight, in his arms, he could keep her safe. That's what he had to keep telling himself, at least.

And, yeah, Callum appreciated that it was completely paranoid and irrational; he couldn't very well get rid of every threat in existence, but the rush of calm when her sturdy warmth was in his arms, the trauma, didn't really adhere to reason. And she didn’t seem to have any inclination to go far from him, either, so it worked out just fine.

Read more on AO3!

#tdp #the dragon prince #fanfic #fanfiction #my fic #gods i love ezrayla as sibs #rayllum #tdp ezran #tdp rayla #also a little bit of ezris because i said so #chet #cube hostage exchange theory

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famdommcfanface · 2 days

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An analysis of alcemy for the Magnus Protocol!

I have just finished the episode I have found a list of alchemical symbols let's fucking gooo baby. Just to clarify it is my belief these are the new entities. I know it would probably be better if they were less rigidly defined but I love sorting things and am hyped!!! This is going to be long so strap in (not all of those though they're just to illustrate)! I am so sorry if you use dark mode (like me!) these images are almost all transparent.

1: Mercury!

Referring to both the metal and the planet, go wild. Mercury is all about transcending boundaries as it's kind of both a solid and a liquid (it's not but whatever), specifically the boundary of life and death, possibly even transcend death. That seems relevant. Also related to snakes so if snakes show up... probably mercury. Also if we ever get some sort of white queen in a chess way? Mercury. It also represents the mind, or spirit maybe? It's got a lot going on. Colin said it'd make the world end. Fuck yeah probably why not.

2: Salt

This is one that is not included on one list I have but is on the other. I'm not guaranteeing all of these are significant I'm finding it hard to find a definite list. If you look into just all the alchemical symbols they've got loads and I doubt they're all significant. Anyway. Salt is the physical body in this trifecta (we'll come onto that). Very to do with physicality, the body, honestly might manifest in a few ways similar to the Flesh. Also to do with purification? In general but also 'purifying' the body which I think medieval people meant in a good way but sounds evil to me. There is also of course, seperate to the whole alchemy thing, salt circles and all that. You've seen supernatural you know what I'm talking about. Although that's also to do with purification.

3: Sulphur

Or sulfur, if you are American. This one's actually got a few different symbols but let's go with this one for now. Honestly, and I know we shouldn't be comparing these to the TMA entities, but this one's pretty desolation. It's all dry heat and masculine destructive energy. Yeah this one's 'masculine' and mercury's 'feminine' for some reason, I doubt that will come up. Which I guess makes salt non-binary. This is the red king, too. This is the soul in the 'tria prima', Mercury, salt and sulphur, which were the three first elements apparently, and also cause disease? Idk. That might be relevant. Hell's meant to smell of sulphur, that tells you most of what you need to know. Again, we've all seen Supernatural. Colin said something about this making you go mad. I think yeah sure but less spiral-type mad more slaughter-type mad.

4: Air

Right, onto the four basic elements. These all have a humour related to them too and air has blood for some reason. Air is life and light and God and passion and all that good shit. I have to imagine it's gonna have some vast shit going on too because I don't think Jonny can help himself, but it's also to do with being changable and generally quite nice. Oh also ideas and creativity. All that good shit!

5: Earth

Basically the opposite of air. The 'masculine counterpart' as all these websites keep saying. It's associated with salt, which makes sense, and is all about stillness and being grounded and again, I feel like there's going to be some buried attributes in there. It's got the humour black bile which is all about sadness and shit. Most of the four basic elements are fairly self-explanatory.

6: Fire

You know what fire does. Passion, emotion, love and hate and all that. Although honestly in an alchemical way fire seems to be more emotional. So far (and I am writing these as I look into them) if you want something based around physical destruction you're gonna wanna look at sulphur. Its humour is yellow bile.

7: Water

Water, humour is phlegm, connected to mercury, honestly alchemically I can't find anyone having much to say about it but y'know. It's water. BUT I HAVE THINGS TO SAY ABOUT WATER. Okay so this has gotta be the deep, right? The whole mix of the buried and the vast thing with the sea? That killed the girl Alice saw? Or at least was involved with the death. It's all very water.

8: Lead

Right, onto planetary metals! Which Mercury kind of also was but hey ho. So, Lead is associated with Saturn. So, alchemists believed that lead was the base metal, that all other metals were just lead that had turned into something else. Which means it's really important but also kinda sucks, and is why people kept trying to make it into gold. So lead is also to do with change but also kind of purity as they thought it 'purified' into gold. Also associated with the Roman god Saturn/Greek god Chronos, who are both to do with time so that might be involved.

9: Tin

To do with the planet Jupiter. It seems to be connected to wisdom and maturity and education and all that. BUT ALSO. It is connected to Lady Mowbray, hell yeah. Because I watched a video about the arg and noted that on the back of Lady M's assistant's clipboard or whatever is this symbol which I recognised at the time as Jupiter! Now. What does tin have to do with dogs and eating people. As far as I can tell fuck all. I thought I'd misremembered for a moment and it was actually the Saturn symbol because that would work with cannibalism at least but no Lady Mowbray seems to serve... tin. Which is kind of funny. I get the connection to nobility at least, Jupiter is king of the gods after all, but as far as I know he doesn't hunt people with dogs? Idk.

10: Iron

Related to Mars and, as I'm sure you can tell, men. Because these fuckers loved gender. Similar to fire it's all about anger and passion, but also seeing as Mars is the god of war I don't think it's beyond belief we've got something similar to the slaughter on our hands here.

11: Gold

Connected to the sun and therefore does not have a classical god I can interpret. Damn. Maybe Apollo? Gold is about having gay lovers. No. So gold's big thing is that it doesn't corrode. Something about staying as you are, the opposite of Air's changability, sort of similar to earth... I could make something out of this.

12: Copper

Well hello ladies. Copper actually has a cooler symbol but I suspect we're sticking with these. Connected to Venus, obviously, which is all about attractiveness and desirability because copper is a very pretty metal. Personally, I would say episode 2 is to do with copper. I don't know if ink5oul themself is (I think they might sort of span entities) but what's her name from the episode and her obsession with looking good seems very copper to me. I know I'm not sorting all these episodes (yet! I have to relisten first) but this one jumped out at me. Copper is also to do with love, of course. I feel like one reason maybe the desire theory got so big is a lot of alchemical elements are to do with love and desire, so that just sort of bled through?

13: Silver

That's right, it's the moon! Very to do with mystery and weird shit. I think if you get the non-literal elements of The Dark you've got Silver. Also keeps away evil, again, Supernatural. Although it also has to do with tides so I think there is a very small chance that actually this is the Deep? I doubt it though.

14: Antimony

So I wasn't going to do the mundane elements because they're less likely to be important (you'll see) but some of them are really interesting! I might not do them all. Anyway, antimony is about the wild and animalistic side of human nature, and is to do with wolves. That remind you of anyone? A certain... aristocratic milf? I know she's connected to tin but it should be antimony okay??

15: Arsenic

Arsenic is cool, we all know it. It's my mum's favourite element on the periodic table. Anyway. Swans? It's to do with swans. Apparently it transforms its appearance like a cygnet to a swan. It also fucking kills people which I'm not convinced the alchmists were aware of.

16: Bismuth

Nobody knows what they were doing with bismuth. RIP. Also, I don't know my astronomy but that is taurus. Does that mean anything? I looked into the metal; it's quite pretty and people get it mixed up with tin.

17: Magnesium

Oh boy. It's hard to extinguish once it's lit, so it represents eternity! That's gotta be something babyy! Some combination of the end and the vast and all that.

18: Phosphorus

They thought phosphorus trapped light. I know it's easy to say this from a modern perspective but alchemists were fucking dumb. I feel like I could disprove this. But they were the first scientists so we have to be nice to them I guess...

19: Platinum

Supposedly a combination of gold and silver, hence the symbol. Possibly something about being bound to something... idk.

20: Potassium

Or potash. Didn't seem to have much historical context. But I believe it has very important modern context.

21: Zinc

They burned zinc to get what they called 'white snow'. You fucking idiots snow is already white.

That's it! Honourable mention to horse dung, which is a more obscure element but gets its own symbol and everything.

also soap and urine and all sorts of shit so I think we should stop there. What have we learnt? Possibly nothing! One of these has got to be to do with plants - I assume earth? That would make sense. One's something to do with luck from the sounds of things and I have no idea what that is, hopefully someone knows more about alchemy than I do for that. There's definitely some sort of watcher and I think either that's the eye crossed into this dimension or possibly mercury? I don't think the names are going to be these because honestly imagine Lady Mowbray being like hey I serve Tin. She's probably going to say Jupiter but we all have to know in our heart of hearts. It's just fucking tin. I am very tired I am going to bed.

#the magnus protocol #tmagp #tmagp theory #the magnus archives #tma #posts what I done #I think I lost my mind when I was writing this #I suspect I'm going to try and sort all the statements into these at some point but I need to relisten first

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fuck-i-love-october · 13 hours

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UPDATING my marauders character list! (Explanations included)

1.James Potter -Hasnt changed, wont change. I love him sm and I don't think he gets enough recognition at all. His entire character is criminally overlooked. I love him for his "Always giving never taking" and his "Pathological people pleaser" and his "them before me. Them before me," and his "I'll run myself dry before you can even look up to the sky and miss the rain." and his "In darkness I confess my sorrow to the moon. In that same darkness I apologize to the moon for wasting her time." and his "I have learned to love everything but my own self." and his "I will bite my tongue clean off before I think to ask for half of what I have learned to give."

2.Barty Crouch Jr. - I'm pretty sure that he was literally the LAST person on my list when I made this the first time but I love the idea that hes just so spontaneous and irrational because hes so hurt and he doesnt want to focus on that. He angers those around them because he expects them to end up angry anyway. His fatherly issues. His secret unconfidence. I love him.

3. Sirius Black- DUH. Hes so silly but also I just love how loyal of a character he is and I relate to him so ridiculously much. Also his terrible abandonment/attachment/ I'll never speak of those things again is premium angst.

4.Mary Macdonald- I dont know I just love herrr. I think she has a destructive personality and like me too girl. This is also so good for angst. I don't typically enjoy her as a main focus or anything in stories but supportive side character yes PLEASE.

5. Remus Lupin- I had him a lot lower last time. He's just so boring.. But I still love his whole "Born a monster, forever a monster will I be" thing because its so heartbreaking.

6. Regulus Black- I was going to put him lower.. But I didn't because..idk. I mean I like his whole "quiet because I fear that to speak will be to remember" thing and I definitely would have liked him a lot more when I was younger.

7. Evan Rosier- Wayy lower on the list than last time. I think he was like..2nd last time. His character has grown more and more dull to me but I like SOME of his storyline, however it feels too similar to regulus for me in the whole overbearing parent thing but I do love his toxicity within his relationship.

8. Marlene- Raging, crazy, messy lesbian. Which I mean good for you I guess but I can't find much good angst past fatherly issues.

9.Lily evans- Don't hate me for putting her so lowww. I just don't find much appeal at all to her character. Sisterly issues sure but like...Super smart girl meets super dumb boy.. I see the appeal but lily just isn't a character I enjoy that much.

10. Peter Pettigrew- IM SO SORRY. I tried SOOO hard to get into his character but I can't. He is massively overlooked in the fandom and I literally have no good angst regarding him that I can conjur up. I hate his canon storyline too because?? Whyyy would he do that?? That doesnt make any sense.

11. Dorcas meadows- I don't have much on her. I don't know.

Thats all I have!! Please note this may change over time but this is where I stand as of right now.

#marauders #james potter #peter pettigrew #regulus black #remus lupin #sirius black #marauders era #james fleamont potter #jegulus #the outsiders #dorcas meadowes #marlene mckinnon #mary macdonald #lily evans #barty crouch junior #evan rosier

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iloveboysinred · 2 days

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Worldly things [Choso Kamo]

pg.13 fluff | Choso Kamo x fem reader (can be read as gender neutral but written with a fem reader in mind, minimal pronouns use)

synopsis; Choso was still adjusting to living life in the open with his brother. He struggles to grasp human concepts, growing even more confused when Yuji brings up the topic of attraction.

cw; shy Choso, speed dating, Yuji and Choso call each other brother all day long, Shibuya never happened idc everyone is still alive and living normally because we deserve peace, soft Choso, awkwardness, fluff, youre yuta’s sister, cursing, not entirely proofread

3046k words

masterlist

“Dude, Jennifer Lawrence over Takada any day.” “How can you even say that, as my brother!?” Choso sat between Yuji and Todo, trying to understand what the discussion was about. He kept looking between the two arguing men, wanting to be included but not at all knowing what to say.

There were a lot of things Choso didn’t understand about his new life. He was still confused on how humans behaved; and he didn’t even bother attempting to decipher the technology all around him and how it conveniently solved the simplest problems in seconds. None of it had ever mattered before. His one and only drive was to live for his brothers, to protect them.

However, Choso realized that assimilating to humans would make him closer to Yuji, he would be more easily accepted around his brother’s colleagues and friends if he behaved more like a typical human. So he tried extra hard to indulge in Yuji’s hobbies; sometimes following him around, observing him and his behavior around others. It was starting to become a little unsettling, and he later solemnly accepted Yuji’s advice on finding interests of his own.

But today was a slow day. Only a few sourcers mill around before having to return to their rooms, quiet chatter dying down as the last of the school’s faculty disperses. The school is enveloped in peaceful quiet. The sun had begun to set, darkening the sky into soft hues of orange, scarlet and purple. Humidity from the afternoon’s rain had settled in the air, fat dew drops rolling off tree leaves, dripping onto the ground below and soaking the soil, making the unpleasant stench of wet earth waft into the air. Wildlife sang from their hiding places, the prominent sounds of crickets chirping from the grass overtaking the peaceful silence, Inharmonious with the accompanying high notes of birdsong. It was miserable out to say the least.

Choso had decided to spend his downtime with Yuji as always, finding comfort in his brother’s familiarity. It was difficult to connect with anybody else, their cold glances and blatant disregard of him perfectly sending the message they wanted him to receive;

He was an outcast.

It had only been Todo who welcomed him, both as a brother and as a friend. Although they had initially bonded over their mutual care for Yuji, there was nothing else Choso could really relate to. Todo just kept going on and on about brotherhood and other things he was too uninterested in to catch. He never complained though, happy with the companionship they had forged.

“What do you think, big bro?” Yuji turned towards Choso, shoving the screen a little too close to his face, Todo coming up with his own phone, expectantly staring Choso down. The sudden confrontational attention made him a little anxious. What were they asking him about? Who were these two women?

“I don’t understand. What are you asking me, little brother?” Choso warily ducked away from the phones, way too close to even really know what he’s looking at. “Which one do you think is hotter?!” Choso responded with a blank look, still not understanding. “ Hotter?” “yeah– like which one do you like more?” Choso backed up to get a proper look, eyeing both screens carefully, attempting to see what the boys were seeing. “Well, I don’t know them, so I can’t say-”Oh for fucks sake. Which one do you find more attractive?!” Todo snapped, and Choso couldn’t help the irritation that flit through him for a second at his outburst. “Well, if i’m being honest. I don’t think I like either of them.” “HUH?!” the boys shouted in unison, gaping at him as though he’d grown another head. Choso shrugged, happily easing back on the comfortable bean bag Yuji had in his room.

“Do you even have a type, big bro?” Yuji inquired, hanging over the bed to peek down at him. “Yeah, do you even like human women?” Todo added, his huge build almost toppling over the edge of the bed. Choso sighed, stretching his arms out across the bean bag. This was just going to be another quirk added to his list of social behaviors he’d have to learn. “I’m not sure I know what it feels to ‘like’ somebody. Sorry.” Yuji flopped down on the bean bag next to him, leaning over on his shoulder. “Okay so think about it like this, when you like somebody, you feel your heart get really fast, and you think about kissing them and holding their hand. Has anybody ever made you feel that way, big brother?”

Choso scratched his scalp, thinking over his answer. Out of all the people he’s met so far he can’t say he felt anything but aloof towards them, certainly not feeling deeply enough to think about intimacy. There were plenty of pretty women around, of course. However, physical appearance was simply not enough to invoke such sentiments in Choso’s mind. He shook his head, muttering a quiet “no.” He was starting to feel insecure again. They made it sound as if he’d committed an absurdity. Did his lack of feelings alienate him from his own brother this time? His reaction had made it feel that way, the look of shocked disbelief on Yuji’s face suddenly starting to make him feel queasy.

“You know what that means, big brother?” Yuji’s voice had taken a serious note, wrapping an arm around his shoulders, tight grip making Choso’s anxiety worsen. “What? what does it mean, little brother?” Yuji dramatically closed his eyes, clenching his fist close to his chest “It means… we have to find out what you like and then land you a girlfriend!” The silent pause that followed was awkward, Todo not even acknowledging the conversation anymore, just laying on the bed staring at something on his phone. “..What?” Yuji responded with a look of newfound determination, sitting up and gripping his shoulders with both hands. “Leave it to me, big bro!”

Choso could only stare at him, slightly relieved of his worries, but at the same time anxious to see what Itadori had planned.

The following day was beautiful. The outside was still a bit humid from the previous night, but the beaming sun made it less noticeable. The dry breeze provided little relief against the scorching heat of the day, instead swirling around dry soil and leaf litter. The uncomfortable aridity had prompted everyone to be indoors or exclusively under shade, keeping themselves cool in the air conditioned classrooms and dorms.

Choso decided to exchange his Sōhei for more weather tolerant clothes, opting to instead wear a simple black mid-sleeve shirt and a pair of dock pants he had borrowed from Yuji. He kept his hair in it’s usual up-do, not bothering to do much but thumb down a few unruly fly aways and re-tighten his hair ties.

He eyed himself in the mirror, dusting himself off in ponderance. Yuji had told him to dress nicely, inviting him as a chaperone to a shopping trip with the other first years. He had happily agreed, questioning why his brother hadn’t invited him out more often, assuring the boy that he would love to tag along and even help Yuji pick out some new shoes, still feeling guilty about the wounds he’d inflicted so long ago. But now he wasn’t sure he liked the idea anymore. He thought back to Yuji’s barely concealed enthusiasm at the prospect of landing him in a relationship and internally cringed. “Shopping trip..yeah, right.” but he had already agreed, and the thought of letting his little brother down hurt enough to convince him to show up anyway.

The trip to the mall had been a lot more ignominious than Choso had expected. He seated himself next to his brother, miserably waiting in a booth for the “speed dating” event to begin. It was being hosted in the middle of the mall, a large crowd of people surrounding the participants. Choso had never felt so trapped, protectively holding onto Yuji’s sleeve under the table. He was tense, eyes flitting through the crowd often. “It’s okay big bro, just relax.” Yuji whispered, reassuring him with a gentle pat on his shoulder, then sitting up straight when the first round of contestants walked up to the table. He pursed his lips and sat up from the lazy forward slouch he’d always sit in, reluctantly letting go of Yuji’s sleeve and turning to face the woman sitting down in front of him.

He had to admit she was pretty- but he just couldn’t find something to converse about at all. He glanced at the reject button for a second, bright red and blinking up at him. He contemplated the emotions he would invoke from her if he pressed it, would she be relieved from this misery the same way he would be right now? Or would she be disappointed? The minimal conversation had been fine, exchanging basic courtesies at first and asking questions here and there. But as the minutes passed it felt as if he was grasping at straws. His voice getting drier, his focus wavering elsewhere.

Choso was bored. Worse than that, he didn’t even want to be there.

He pressed the button, and she paused her chatter, startled by the muted “bzzz!” the button hummed. He apologized and she politely said her goodbyes, getting up and walking on to the next row.

Pretty soon Choso was overwhelmed and tired. Every contestant had either completely uninterested him, or asked too many questions he didn’t feel the need to answer. Yuji, on the other hand, acquired a mountain of phone numbers. His pockets stuffed to the brim with little paper slips. He tried to be comforting, encouraging Choso to try again another time. But by now he just wanted nothing more but to go home and hide away in his room. Going back to the dining hall where Megumi and Nobara waited for them, Choso hovered around them as they shopped, holding Nobara’s bags out of courtesy and making sure to keep the three students within his sights.

Much later than Choso would have liked, they finally decided to go back to the school. He less than carefully shoved Nobora’s bags off onto Megumi and headed back to his room, eager to just sit by himself for a while, away from the frustrating heat and maybe even find himself something to eat. He had already gotten accustomed to these halls, walking in what seemed to be an endless straight line, turning two corners on the way to his room, walking down until he reached his door.

The room door across from him opened just as he fished his keys out of his pocket and his eyes veered over, slightly startled. Nobody had ever been inside that room before. As long as he’d been there it’s always been deafeningly quiet, uninhabited and empty. The shuffling almost made him want to be apprehensive. Was it an intruder? Could somebody have gotten past so easily?

He drew in a quiet breath when you emerged from inside, idly standing in front of his door. You turned around, startling when you noticed him. “Oh, hi! You must be Choso. Sorry we didn’t get to meet before, I’ve been overseas with my little brother. I’m Y/n Okkotsu, it's really nice to meet you. I hope we can be….” Choso patiently waited until you were done rambling, studying your face in wonder. You were so pretty, beautiful, even. The resemblance to Yuta was definitely there; but your lips, smile, and eye color were uniquely yours.

“Uh..Choso?” He blinked, realizing it was quiet. You were waiting for him to respond. “Oh- sorry, I'm Choso Kamo. I hope we can be good neighbors.” He offered you a crooked smile, stuffing his hands into his pockets. He felt his heart squeeze when you smiled back at him, wondering how you had so much warmth for a stranger you’d just met. “Yeah I know! My brother told me about all the newbies lurking around, I'm glad we got the chance to meet face to face.” He nodded, awkwardly shuffling in place. He had no idea what to say to you, embarrassment at his painful silence warming his stomach. “….well okay, well if you ever want to hang out you know where to find me. See you around, Cho!” you nodded at him, padding off with a large suitcase hanging on your back. After a few beats he finally managed to unlock his door, rushing in, hastily shutting it behind him. “Cho?” he had to admit he didn’t mind the nickname, for some reason it sounded so sweet coming from you.

The next few days Choso only caught a few glances of you here and there. From what he heard around the dorms, you were a special grade sorcerer right along with your brother. It was only to be expected that shortly after your return you’d both been bombarded with missions. Regardless, he found himself always seeking you out. Every day he would stare at your door for a little too long, silently hoping you would pop out and greet him with your dazzling smile, calling him by that sweet little nickname you’d entitled him with.

“Cho”

He was undeniably curious about you. Which is why he’s knocking on your door now, smiling to himself at your muffled “Coming!” from behind the door. He shifted anxiously from one foot to the other, trying to keep his face blank. You swung open the door, politely smiling at him. “Oh hi Cho! What can I do for you?” the edges of his lips curled, suddenly feeling a bit bashful. “ I was wondering if you wanted to ‘hang out’? Only you’re not busy, of course.” you blinked at him, in aghast. He cringed, almost wanting to retract his offer, suddenly nervous. “If it’s a bad time, that’s okay- “ “no! no! Choso, come in!” you gleefully stood to the side, giving him space to walk inside your room.

He was impressed by the personality you had given your dorm. Beautifully decorated with personal items you had collected on your journeys, framed pictures of you and your little brother sitting neatly on your desk. The warm, incandescent lighting from your lamps bathed the room in a cozy atmosphere, making him feel relaxed. He breathed in the calming scents of the candles you had on the counter of your kitchenette, scents of cinnamon spice filling his nose and warming his spice circulating in the air from the air conditioner blasting cool air into the space. He found that he liked your room, taking off his shoes at the door and leaving them on the side, stepping on your fluffy carpet with his socks, his feet relaxing pleasurably into the soft material. “You can sit anywhere you like, get comfortable.” you gestured to the love seat a few feet away from your bed. He sunk into the chair, his fingers interlaced on his bouncing leg as he watched you prepare him a glass of cold iced tea.

“You sit there while I get ready, okay? Then we can head out somewhere.” He nodded, taking the glass so he could lean back and get comfortable. After a few minutes you came out from the bathroom, clad in a gray tank top and jean shorts. He noticed you pulled your hair up into a bun, making him reach up to feel his own hair, noticing that you were matching. He smiled to himself in delight. “Alright Cho, ready to go?” He nodded at you, placing the glass on the nightstand before he got to his feet and followed you out the door, silently walking behind you.

You had ultimately decided on heading to a nearby ice cream parlor, setting down on the stools and ordering a large sundae to share. He found that conversation came easy with you, your bubbly personality was refreshing. You always had something to talk about. He felt lightweight, his heart skipping a beat everytime you smiled at him. The chatter in the parlor was a dull noise. The only thing Choso could hear was your voice, calling his name so prettily, looking at him with your beautiful eyes. He thought that he wanted to be like this forever, he wanted you to always look at him that way, to always smile at him.

All too quickly, the day had come to an end. Choso had slowed down his pace to match yours, trying to savor the walk back to the dorms for as long as he could. You continued on your chatter, exchanging funny stories and sentiments for your brothers. The warmth in his chest had only grown when you stopped right in front of your door. You graced him with one of your smiles, bringing him into a hug. He shyly wrapped his arms around you, laying his forehead on your shoulder.

After a while you pulled away, smiling “I had fun, Cho” you whispered, holding his shoulders. “Why do you call me that?” he couldn’t help but ask, his heart feeling fuzzy every time you called him by that name. “Well..” his lips pursed to hide his smile when he noticed your warming cheeks. “Because it’s cute… and I think you’re cute.” You averted your eyes from his, regretfully pulling away to fumble with your keys. “Sorry if that was too forward–” Choso waved his hand, cutting you off. “No-no, it’s alright. I-I think you’re cute, too..” he could feel the blush on his cheeks, his heart squeezing.

You giggled at him, your blush matching his own, opening your door and half stepping inside. “Let’s do this again, yeah?” he nodded, “yeah– how about tomorrow? If you’re not busy?” “You know where to find me, goodnight Cho.” this time he smiled at you, stuffing his hands into his pockets. “Goodnight, Y/n.” When you shut the door Choso took off to Yuji’s room, rapidly knocking on the door in urgency. He didn’t even greet his brother, barging into the room as soon as the door opened. “Big bro, what–” Choso turned around, looking at him with a mix of panic and glee.

“I think.. I like somebody, little brother.”

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