#Country songs and Batman just go so well together

[minnow-doodle-doo]

Coal by Tyler Childers

Part 1

[latenightdecaf]

maybe

Pairing: College Friend!Namjoon x Reader

Genre: slice of life, angst

Word Count: 2,711

"Hey, you knew the owner of the wine place down at 5th avenue right?" Looking up from your phone, you were trying to picture the place at 5th avenue for good few seconds and then it hit you. 

Of course, you did.

"What's the name of the place again? Rkive?" You frowned at the image of the said owner. "Yeah, we went to university together." You finally answered your friend. "That felt like years, I haven't thought about him in years." You lied. 

He went to high school with some of your coursemates too but for some reason, he doesn’t mingle too much. He’s sociable yes, but keeps a small crowd. And you always wondered why he let you in his small crowd. You were awkward, small and just minding your own business. During your breaks, you hang out with your high school friends and drink beer during lunch. You have a small set of friends that likes the weird stuff that you do too and he feels different to you.  

Speaks in flawless english, when you can’t even utter a complete sentence without choking. You preferred speaking in your local language, and every time he tries, his accent shows and it makes you laugh and he laughs. He makes good eye contact every time he talks to you, while you do your best to avoid it. He’s tall, cute, talkative and quiet all at the same time. It intimidates you. His family owns a wine shop franchise all over the country but he’s not a rich spoiled kid. He just has his own world, the world you do your very best to avoid. 

You were together in a couple of classes before he decided to shift to business school and you continued on to your pre-med. He’d message you in his small nokia phone, while everyone else was using blackberry then. He’s proud of it, he said the only person he messages is his driver so he doesn’t need a fancy one anyway. He didn’t think it was weird. And you find it amazing how unapologetic he his.

He’d always message you before class, if there’s anything going on. He’d always say, “Okay you’ll review me tomorrow.” and ended up knowing more than you ever did in that class. Scoring even higher than you on quizzes that he claimed ‘you’d have to review with him the next day’ and you’d roll your eyes at him. He’d message you, asking for something and you’ll reply in short messages - too self conscious when it comes to him. 

He’d randomly give you old songs and you’ll just reply, “Sure, I’ll listen to it.” And that ends the conversation, but you listen to that song over a hundred times and you never told him. In the middle of it all, came a friend of yours, Byul. She’s amazing, outspoken and cute. When she came around, she was just smitten with Namjoon as you did. Only difference was, she was telling every other one of your friends of how amazing he is. Constantly talking to him. In classes you had with him, Byul would be there while you ended up looking like a third wheel each time. Byul and Namjoon got along so well, they’d talk about travels and Batman and places they’ve been. Not that you’ve never been in those places too before but you just don’t open up well - or don’t open up at all.

And since you didn’t mind, and Byul was literally coming after him - you just silently backed off. To you, it felt like you lost a fight you never had a chance with. Although at that time you knew, he likes being friends with you - but you were young, easily intimidated, not sure of themselves yet so even as friends you bailed.

The last class you had with him was with Byul, it was first week of the new semester - you were surprised when someone behind you poked a pen on Byul’s back and when you turned - it was Namjoon. He even switched seats and they started talking and he’d tap you in the head, all friendly and smiling saying he was so glad that we were all in the same class. 

After that 1st class orientation, you dropped out of it - opted to take a different a section for the same course. Didn’t even told them why.

Before you graduate, you saw him in campus a couple of times - with casual hi and hello around the hall.  Not one true conversation. 

And years later he just faded into history.

Couple of times when you run past one of their wine shops, you remember him. You smile sometimes and ever wondered why you never bumped into him. Maybe the world isn’t as small as you think it is.

Until couple of years later, you’re out of the university, you’ve had your fair share of failed relationship (just one where it lasted for 3 years), you never pushed through with medical school. But you’re happy and life was good to you. And then you saw his name requesting to follow you on instagram, and it made you smile - first thing you did was share it to Byul, telling her that the Great Kim Namjoon is finally on social media, who knew. You thought that would spark something again between them, it didn’t. Byul didn’t follow him, and he doesn’t follow Byul. You both have 7 common following, couple of his highschool classmates that were on the same freshman classes as you did and in that common crowd, you were again - the only one not part of it. 

And like reflex, you avoided him again. Muted his stories, and try your very best to avoid it. Not wanting to him to know, you liked seeing his stories. His photos were all from his travels in Tokyo, Africa and in Europe, in yachts, in wineries, his hikes in Scotland and ski trips in France. To you he’ll always feel too far away. The life he lives was just too much - even a couple of years later he’ll always feel the same.

And then last year August 20, 2022 - you were casually browsing through twitter following less than 100 people, 50 people of which are just people from university and high school because at that time it just made sense to follow each other and the rest was probably just meme accounts. When you stopped by a tweet of an old friend in university, photo was that of her and a guy. Her chin, resting on his shoulders with a glass of wine in front, photo cropped from half of their faces, and you can only see their smiles. And you were blinking hard, and you just knew. 

He doesn’t like getting his picture taken.

There was this homework in class that had to be done as a pair and you need to take a photo with your partner together as a proof and had to be submitted and he only took a picture with you once - your hair was even all over the place, he was inches away from you. It was an awkward picture, you swore it was somewhere hidden in your facebook account that you no longer use for years. But you know that smile.

You couldn’t really imagine what he would be like as a boyfriend.

And when you saw who his girlfriend is, somewhere in your head just says it just made sense. She was a former classmate of his in highschool, they have the same circle of friends, ran for university student president, former cheerleader, graduated cumlaude and now a middle school teacher. They have parties and friends coming over at their place and he smiles in photos now.

*

Sister: Don’t forget to grab a bottle of wine for tomorrow’s dinner.

Was the message your sister sent you 3 hours ago, only to open it right before you enter your car. Hands full of groceries, except for the one thing everyone is probably reminding you to get, but you keep on forgetting anyway. Putting the rest of your bags on the trunk of your car, you scan and squint your eyes through the shops nearby. You walked for a bit only to find yourself at the door of Rkive, you’ve been in several of their branches and everyone knows they carry they best wines in town. Saving you from all the trouble, you didn’t realize that they have just opened a branch near your studio.

You went inside and enjoyed peeking through their collection, despite the fact that you already know what to get anyway. It’s like looking at the menu of your regular restaurant, pretending to scan through the menu even though you know it so well and still ordering the same thing that you do. Once the wine was picked and you’re ready to go - a man of familiar tall frame came into view, from the far end of the hall he smiled looking at you.

“Well, well - long time no see. I probably should ask if you still remember my name.” as he moved closer to you.

You smiled at him, doting on the fact that the had changed but you still notice that distinct voice he has, “I should be the one asking you that.” And he laughed. You remembered that one.

He asked you if you have time to taste a new bottle of wine they have just imported for the opening of this branch. And you gladly took his offer and sat across the from him on a high chair in his shop.

“So what have you been up to?” as he poured your glass and fixed some cheese along side. “Are you a psychiatrist now? Should I be calling you, doctor?” He eyed on you cheekily. “Nah, none of those plans panned out. I bailed.” He was surprised of your sudden honesty. And in the shared laughters and stories, trying to fill each other of the years that had gone by with vague stories of work, common friends and travels but never really going into details. Because over the years, you just got so used to being ambiguous and other people didnt mind. But somewhere between the 3rd and 4th glass of wine, you just have to ask, “I know you and Chaeyong have been friends since high school - but really, how did that happened?” You just have to ask. He laughed, “What? You never imaged me having a girlfriend.” 

Shaking your head playfully, “Nope, not you - I mean, but it does makes sense I guess. The two of you coming together or i mean - being together. Guess, for me you just have so much in common.” And you look at his face, not sure if it was the alcohol getting into you brain but he looks at you with somehow a sad expression in his face and you immediately thought that it was probably something that you said, that you probably should’nt have said. “And of course, I don’t know both of you - so I obviously don’t know what I am saying.” He sipped on his wine shortly and said, “It’s not that - it’s just.. you don’t talk to me this much before. And I’m just happy to see you all chatty now.” You felt your stomach drop in his sentiment and you let out a huge sigh. Looking at your glass of wine. “I had this crush on you before, Namjoon.” 

You smiled and looked at him, “Of course, I can tell you this now because it’s been 10 years - but I did. It’s not that. I wasn’t naturally chatty, it’s just that you intimidate me a lot before. I was just a kid, I didn’t know who I was or what I want.” You see him nod a little and avoiding eye contact too. “But I talk to you a lot, too much - really that I feel like you’re probably just sick of me. Telling me stuff like, ‘Alright, we’ll get it by tomorrow.’ or like, ‘Alright, should be fine.’ Literally dismissing me with one-liners even. Sometimes it’s even just “yup” - there was even this one time where you don’t even answer my calls anymore.” 

And that made you laugh so hard, “To be completely fair to you my friend, I still hate answering phone calls till this day.” 

“It’s not your fault. We were in college, and on summer break you were in Africa, you called me from Africa - asking me if I could enroll you on that elective class before and I did anyway. You have different life than mine, at that summer I was just here - sleeping. We have nothing in common. I didn’t know what to say. You ask me for a favor each time and I do it anyway, you asked me to listen to this song - I didn’t know the song, but it was good - so I listened to it anyway.” Trailing and not knowing what to say next anymore. 

“So that’s why you just left that class out of the blue and never made contact with me ever again?” 

“Yeah - you know, if you can’t handle things then it’s just best to avoid them but now - things have changed. I’m no longer the same girl, you’re no longer the same guy. And I’m sorry - if I just left like that.” He lift his glass for a bit and clinked on my glass before drinking.

Somewhere along the 7th-8th glass, in which you were sure at some point he opened another bottle and that topic of 10 years ago has already been forgotten. Your phone vibrated, only to remind you that it’s already your bed time and you panicked. 

You stood abruptly that it startled him, “I have to go now.”

“Why? Why? Is there something wrong?” You must have been really tipsy by now that everything he does makes you laugh.

“No, Joon - it’s just way past my bedtime and I have to go.” He looked relived.

“Alright, let’s pack up and let me walk you to your car.” You nodded.

Just a few meters away from his shop, is your studio - you make hand crafted ceramic pots now, these days you’re developing a possible candle vessel that might be a new business for you so you barely left your studio until this evening. You stood in front of your car, and gesture to shake his hand and he looked at you confused, “Come on.” you grab his and shook it. 

He opened the door to your car and still holding onto the handle when he said, “Let me know if you got home alive.” 

“How am I supposed to do that, I don’t have your number.” 

“Let me give you mine.” He took your phone from your hand and dialed in his number and rang his as proof.

You’ve had a couple drinks, you can still drive and clearly you can still see his phone - when he raised it to show you, “See.”

You never changed your number not in since freshman year in college, and your number is still saved on his phone. 

You saw your name flashing.

“You still have my number?” 

“Yeah, I mean - I don’t have a lot of contacts.”

“Your Nokia phone, does not have icloud… it couldn’t possibly be stored from where?” 

“You’re drunk.” 

Pushing you to get inside your car and covering head enough just so you won’t bump it. Closing the door and turning his back on you.

You rolled your windows down, just to see him walk away more clearly.

A/N: Not proof-read. Forgive me. This is just my way of ventin this is just a story that I would just like to put into rest and never think again. It’s been 10 years and I shouldn’t be remembering this at all. 

To you,

I’m writing this one because in fiction - I can finally have closure.

If in the future I bump into you, wish I can tell you the same thing.

[villainousshakespeare]

Putting It Back Together Chapter 1

Adam/OFC

Rated M (will probably change to E) - Grief, angst, eventual smut, mention of characters dead before the start of the story

Summary: Since the death of his beloved Eve, Adam had been barely living, only alive due to a promise he made to her. Then one night he meets his new neighbor, a woman dealing with grief of her own. Will they help each other heal or drive each other crazy?

@yespolkadotkitty @just-the-hiddles @hopelessromanticspoonie @wine-and-whines @arch-venus25 @caffiend-queen @devilish–doll @enchantedbyhiddles @hiddlesholic @i-do-not-fangirl-i-fanwoman @kellatron55 @ladyoftheteaandblood @latent-thoughts @gorgeous1974 @maryxglz @myoxisbroken @nuggsmum @nildespirandum @pedeka @redfoxwritesstuff @sinfully-lustful-darling @vodka-and-some-sass @wrathkitty @kingtwhiddleston @wolfsmom1​ @poetic-fiasco​ @shiningloki​ @dangertoozmanykids101​ @bookworm-christina​ @thecutestlittlebunbunfairy​ @amwolowicz​ @delightfulheartdream​ @frostbitten-written​ @what-a-flammable-heart​ @tom-hlover​ @nonsensicalobsessions​

So I decided to take a crack at Adam. The plan is to have this be around 10 chapters, but that is just a guess at the moment. It starts a little angsty, but will lighten up as it goes along. Hope you enjoy!

If you would like on or off the tag list, please let me know!

It was more of a mist than a drizzle adding chill to the late autumn air as he walk through the dark streets. Even this time of night there were noises of fellow wanders, zombies he was sure, but he managed to keep from the streets where they roamed. The last thing he needed was to be confronted with the mindlessness of what passed for humanity in these times.

That was the trade off of life in the city. The need to constantly dodge others was barely offset by the convenience of shops open late and services not bound by the constraints of daylight. Not that Adam needed many services of others. He was in most ways self sufficient. He had worked for centuries to make it so. With but two exceptions - sustenance and music - he had only ever needed one soul besides his own.  

She was gone now, his Eve. Eleven years had passed since she had taken a glass of tainted blood in Tangier. It seemed like yesterday, it seemed like a lifetime. He wished it were his lifetime. Only a promise dragged out of him at her death bead had kept him from following her into oblivion. She had used every trick she possessed, every weakness she knew in him, to get him to agree to her demand, and now he was trapped, bound by a promise to another century on this blighted earth. Eighty-nine more revolutions until he could use the wooden bullet that lay heavy in breast pocket and end his grief.

He had wandered after she left him. Angry and bitter, he had left Africa and roved across the globe. Everywhere he went, though, there were memories. He saw her everywhere in Europe. The Middle East was littered with memories. Even South America echoed a life spent together.

Finally he had come back to America. She had not spent as much time in the States. It was easier here. He had considered Seattle, New Orleans, Memphis, the various musical centers of the country, but in the end New York had drawn him in. Strange, he had never spent much time here. Too many zombies too close together. And yet, he could not deny it had definite advantages, and for the most part no one paid any attention to what anyone else did.

He arrived at last at the brownstone in the East Village where he lived his weary life. He was excited, or at least as excited as he was capable of these days, to test out the Rickenbacker bass guitar that he had stumbled upon in a pawn shop. The owner had no idea how rare the model was, and had not known how to react to the large roll of cash that Adam had thrust at him for the  instrument.

Quickly shucking his black leather jacket, Adam took out he new prize and lovingly stroked the light grained wood. He could feel the decades of music that it had produced still reverberating through the body. He flicked a series of toggles and buttons to power up his sound system and plugged the Rickenbacker in. Closing his eyes he placed his fingers firmly on the frets and plucked out a rapid series of low notes, loving the reverberation and full tones it produced. Just as he began to segue into an actual song, however, a loud bang sounded and the lights, sound, and all other electronic power went dead.

"Shit!" he spit out, mood collapsing back in on itself as quickly as it had risen.

Setting the bass gently back in its case despite his irritation, Adam fumbled through his belongings until he located his tool box. After attaching his head torch and grabbing a second flash light just in case, he made his way down the hall to the ladder that lead up through a hatch onto the roof where a small shed held the electric box for his home.

"Just what I fucking need," he muttered, pulling himself onto the tarred surface.

He was just picking his tools back up when a loud creaking noise drew his attention. Just a few feet away, a second hatch door had opened, and a shape was pulling itself up and onto the roof with some difficulty, judging by the swearing. Adam watched in dismay as the shape unfolded itself to reveal a woman silhouetted against the half moon. She had a large, over bright flashlight in her hands that waved back and forth as she made her way to the shed that was his own destination.

"Who are you?" he asked, intercepting her before she could reach the structure.

"Ohmyfuckinggod!" she cried out, jumping almost a foot as he appeared in front of her.

Adam crossed his arms and waited silently for her to calm down, mouth drawn down into a habitual scowl.

"You scared me half to death!" she told him needlessly when she had regained some of her composure.

"What are you doing here?" he demanded.

"Oh, you know, just signaling Batman that evil is afoot," she said dryly, waving her oversized lamp back and forth.

Adam continued to stare at her, unamused, until she sighed and gave him a real answer.

"I'm checking out the fuse box. Are you from 89? You must be, I guess. So your lights are out too? It doesn't look like it's the whole block, just our two buildings. Hopefully flipping the switch will bring them back on."

"There's no need for you to trouble yourself," he told her when she finally stopped talking. "I have things well in hand. The power should be on shortly."

"Great," she said with a forced smile.

She didn't move. Why was she still standing there? Adam glowered at her, hoping to scare her off, but the brainless girl just stood there.

"Did you need something else?" he asked reluctantly.

"No, just the one thing," she replied, blinking at him. "Shall we get to it?"

"This will hardly take two," he ground out. "And I know how the system works."

He should! He had redone the entire wiring himself. The convoluted system of shorting wires and faulty circuits had been a travesty when he moved in. It had taken him almost a month to tear it out and build a more streamlined, efficient energy grid. The only problem now was when he forgot himself and pulled too much power for the subpar wiring in the wall to take. He had considered redoing that as well, but it would take time and draw attention, which he was keen on avoiding.

"Wonderful, then you can show me," she chirped at him. "After all, you may not be here the next time it goes off, and then I won't know how it works."

She was not going to let this go, he could tell from the deceptively stubborn set of her shoulders. With a roll of his eyes that he doubted her human eyes could catch in the darkness, he turned on his heel and walked over to the shed. Let her look at it, he decided. It was not like she would understand what he had done anyway.

"Woah," the nattering woman whistled as he opened the door. "That is not what I was expecting at all! It looks like some form of microhydraulics, but there's no way you could have a water source up here. What are you using?"

Adam turned and stared at her, really looking at her for the first time. She was short, even for a woman, not even coming up to his chin. Her hair was haphazardly tied into a bunch on the top of her head and looked like it would be bigger than she was if she were to let it down. The eyes she turned up towards him were inquisitive and sharp. She was pretty, he thought, for a zombie.

"How do you know about that?" he asked.

"I tinker," she said with a shrug. "When I'm anxious. Which is a lot of the time lately, to be honest. Too much energy. Sometimes it helps to take things apart an put them back together again."

Adam opened his mouth to respond, but realized he had no idea what he planned on saying. He closed it again and turned back to his contraption.

"Well, don't get any ideas about taking this apart," he grumbled, resetting the mechanism.

"No, I wouldn't," she assured him. "I only mess with my own things until I'm sure I can get them back the way they started. I learned that the hard way. This is really amazing. You are pulling in a boat load of energy. I just hope you don't burn the buildings down when it runs into the wiring. You're a musician, right? I've heard you practicing through the walls. I was so relieved you were good!"

Did this woman never stop talking? Despite his lack of response she seemed perfectly content to stand behind him, shining her flood light on the shed as he worked to get things running again.

"Oh! I see what you did there!" she commented brightly as the low hum of electricity started back up. "That should fix it. And I'm pretty sure I will be able to do that myself next time too!"

"Don't," he ordered, shutting the door with a loud clang. "If there is any problem with the power, I will fix it. I don't need someone else ruining my work."

"But if you're not here?" she repeated doggedly.

"Look, this has never been an issue before, why are you suddenly on my case about it now?"

"I didn't live here before," she answered. "I just moved in last week. This... this was my Grandmother's home. She died. Last week. I'm trying to sort it all now but..."

The light from his headtorch clearly lit up the tears that sprang to her eyes. As Adam stood there in horror, the girl's chin began to wobble and silent sobs hiccupped through her body. A moment later she had burst out crying. Adam, unable to think of anything else to do, slowly and gingerly put one arm around her shaking shoulders and patted her lamely on the back, wishing he could be anywhere else in the world.

***

Lilly woke up completely horrified. It had been a dream, she told herself. It had to have been a dream. That was the only way she was going to survive the events of the night before.

The soreness in her eyes and the streaks of mascara on the backs of her hands, unfortunately, told her the sad truth. It had been real. She had met her dark, handsome, mysterious neighbor, the one who played dark, mysterious music at all hours of the night, on a dark, mysterious rooftop. (Well, okay, maybe the rooftop hadn't been that mysterious, but still!) And what had she done? She had wept all over him like pathetic child.

This, she sighed to herself, was one of the many many reasons why she was single. Any normal girl would have played the damsel in distress, fluttered their eyes and let him be their hero. He certainly had the looks of a brooding hero, even if he seemed to lack the inclination. Of course, it might just be that he lacked the inclination because she had yammered on about anxiety and tinkering, and her grandmother's death and the cried all over him.

Groaning, she rolled over and looked at her clock, only to be greeted by blinking numbers. Of course. She had been too upset when he had finally managed to steer her back to her roof hatch and rid himself of her, lost in a combination of grief and humiliation, to reset it. Great. That meant that the alarm had never gone off. It could be any time now. A quick glance at her phone confirmed her fear. 4:00 in the afternoon. It had happened. She had become completely nocturnal.

Slowly dragging herself up, Lilly staggered to the bathroom and tried to let the hot water wash away her misery. She was tired of feeling miserable. By nature she was not a gloomy person. Anxious, yes, but not gloomy. It was just being here, in the house that once was her happy place but now held too many memories. All she could see where ever she looked was her beloved grandmother. Playing the piano, reading in the window nook, cooking in the large, renovated kitchen. Grandma Lillian was everywhere.

Growing up, Lilly had been an awkward child; small of body but big of personality Gran had said. She was always moving, either her hands or her mouth, having a hard time with stillness. It drove many people to distraction. Grandma Lillian, however, had stated quite matter of factly that she simply had a lot to do and more to say, and therefore needed to do it quickly.

Lilly had spent all of her summers and school vacations here, escaping into the city. Here, she could be herself. With all of the characters in New York City, she was far from the oddest. Grandma Lillian let her patter away happily, always taking her words seriously. She had also found all sorts of mechanical things for Lilly to tinker with, focusing her energy in a more productive direction. It was nonsense, she had opined, that girls were not encouraged more to go into the technical fields. Obviously that was the reason why nothing in this world ran properly.

She had hidden her illness from the family, from Lilly, until the very end. Lilly cursed herself that she had not seen through the excuses for the cancelled visits. A seniors cruise with her girlfriends! She could not imagine the opinionated woman stuck on a boat without someone going overboard. It wasn't until the very end, when she was had been taken to Hospice, that she had phoned Lillian to let her know that it was time to come and visit.

That was eight days ago. Lillian had held her hand at the end, singing in her tear choked voice the torch songs that her Grandmother had once made her living crooning in the night clubs of the city. It had not taken long. Less than a day and Lilly was alone, the owner of a house in the East Village and more money than she had ever imagined possessing, but much the poorer regardless.

The ensuing week was spent puttering around the brownstone, listlessly going through desks and dressers, boxes and cupboards. The memorabilia of a lifetime squirreled away into any available space. She had no need to work at the moment, which was good since she had no employment. Slowly but surely her own night owl tendencies had taken over and she was staying up until the sun streaked the horizon in the morning, only to bed down for the majority of the day. Her parents had always fretted and said it was a sign of depression. Gran had shrugged and agreed that the most exciting things happened at night.

The only excitement Lillian had experienced thus far had been the discovery that a new owner was in residence next door. For as long as she could remember there had been a constant stream of college and conservatory students renting out rooms in the building, turning over each year to the newest crop. Now though, there was one lodger only and he owned the building.

She had caught sight of him out the front window as he was leaving her second night there. Long, wild black hair that looked in want of brushing, black leather jacket, and black jeans that might have been painted on. He was tall, lean, and somehow dangerous looking. It was the way he walked, she decided. There was something almost feral in the swagger as he took off down the street. The next night she had heard him playing music.

At first she thought there were multiple musicians, but after hours spent guiltlessly eavesdropping she became convinced that it was only him. Interspersed with guitars, drums, bass, and other instruments that she couldn't name had come his voice, a distinctive low growl that cut through her sorrow to go straight to her core. She could feel the vibrations of his voice as surely as she heard the bass thumping through the walls.

She began haunting the window overlooking their stoops, hoping for sight of him. She caught glimpses a time or two, always late at night, well after dark. Rather he was coming in or going out, he seemed to eschew the daylight even more than she did. Lilly felt drawn to him, and by more than just his untamed beauty. She supposed she could write it off as one of her hyper-fixations, but intuitively she sensed it was more. She longed for an excuse to meet him.

And then she had. At night, on a roof, under a bright moon.

It would have been perfectly romantic, were she not dressed in a ratty sweatshirt and yoga pants, her hair flopped up any old way on her head. If her first words to him were not gasped out in a shriek, followed by thoughtless prattle. And the, the coup de gras, her sobbing breakdown. The look of unmixed horror on his face as he made his feeble attempt to calm her was burned into Lilly's brain.

She had to get rid of it. There might only be one chance to make a first impression, but maybe, just maybe, a second impression could in time supersede it. Never one to sit on a thought, Lilly squared her shoulders. It was six o'clock, he was bound to still be in. She would pay him a visit and apologize for her horrid behavior.

Yes, that was the plan. After all, what was the worst that could happen? It was bound to go better than last time.

[delightfullyatomicfest]

John interviewed in Melody Maker, 6 December 1969

Last week I spent some time with John, during which he told me the truth about the early days, the current relationships within The Beatles, and his consequent need for independence, and a host of other subjects. We begin with the group’s rise to fame, and John’s feelings about the way it was achieved. 

“In the beginning it was a constant fight between Brian [Epstein] and Paul on one side and me and George on the other,” he told me. “Brian put us in neat suits and shirts, and Paul was right behind him. I didn’t dig that, and I used to try and get George to rebel with me. I’d say to him, ‘Look, we don’t need these suits. Let’s chuck them out of the window.’ My rebellion was to have my tie loose, with the top button of my shirt undone, but Paul’d always come up to me and put it straight. 

“I saw a film the other night, the first television film we ever did. The Granada people came down to film us, and there we were in suits and everything - it just wasn’t us, and watching that film I knew that that was where we started to sell out. We had to do a lot of selling out then. Taking the MBE was a sell-out for me. You know, before you get an MBE the Palace writes to you to ask if you’re going to accept it, because you’re not supposed to reject it publicly and they sound you out first. 

“I chucked the letter in with all the fanmail, until Brian asked me if I had it. He and a few other people persuaded me that it was in our interests to take it, and it was hypocritical of me to accept it. But l’m glad, really, that I did accept it- because it meant that four years later I could use it to make a gesture. 

“We did manage to refuse all sorts of things that people don’t know about. For instance, we did the Royal Variety Show once, and we were asked discreetly to do it every year after that- but we always said, ‘Stuff it.’ So every year there was always a story in the newspapers saying ‘Why No Beatles For The Queen?’, which was pretty funny, because they didn’t know we’d refused it. 

“That show was a bad gig anyway. Everybody’s very nervous and uptight, and nobody performs well. The time we did do it, I cracked a joke onstage. I was fantastically nervous but I wanted to say something, just to rebel a bit, and that was the best I could do.” 

Was there, in fact, anything at all that he enjoyed about the years of Beatlemania? 

“Oh sure. I dug the fame, the power, the money, and playing to big crowds. Conquering America was the best thing. You see, we wanted to be bigger than Elvis - that was the main thing. At first we wanted to be Goffin & King, then we wanted to be Eddie Cochran, then we wanted to be Buddy Holly, and finally we arrived at wanting to be bigger than the biggest - and that was Elvis. 

“We reckoned we could make it because there were four of us. None of us would’ve made it alone, because Paul wasn’t quite strong enough, I didn’t have enough girl appeal, George was too quiet, and  Ringo was the drummer. But we thought that everyone would be able to dig at least one of us, and that’s how it turned out.” 

When John returned his MBE in protest against Britain’s involvement in the Vietnam and Biafra conflicts, he added, “And against ‘Cold Turkey’ slipping down the charts.” 

Does that mean that “Cold Turkey” is a specially important record for you? 

“Yes, because it’s MY record. When I wrote it I went to the other three Beatles and said, ‘Hey lads, I think I’ve written a new single.’ But they all said, ‘Ummm... arrrrrr. . . welll. . .’ because it was going to be my project, and so I thought, ‘Bugger you! I’ll put it out myself.’ 

That had happened once before, when I wanted to put ‘Revolution’ out as a single, but ‘Hey Jude’ went out instead.” 

Does that mean that Plastic Ono Band is, for John, a kind of alternative Beatles, particularly in view of Ringo’s refusal to go on tour again? 

“Yes, I suppose so. It’s a way of getting my music out to the public. I don’t bother so much about the others’ songs. For instance, I don’t give a damn about how ‘Something’ is doing in the charts - I watch ‘Come Together’, because that’s my song.” 

Can he ever conceive of a time when he wouldn’t want his songs to be on the same album as Paul’s or George’s? 

“I can see it happening. The Beatles can go on appealing to a wide audience as long as they make albums like Abbey Road, which have nice little folk songs like ‘Maxwell’s Silver Hammer’ for the grannies to dig. 

“About ‘Maxwell’s Hammer’ - well, all I can say is that I dig Engelbert Humperdinck as much as I dig John Cage, and I don’t listen to either of them,” he said with a marvellously relevant irrelevance. “I always wanted to have other people on our records, like the Stones and our other friends. But some of the others wanted to keep it tight- just like The Beatles, you know? But you wait - it’s starting to get looser, and there should be some fantastic sessions in the next few years. That’s what I wanted all along.” 

Going back to the past, did he enjoy doing The Beatles’ two films, Help! and A Hard Day's Night ? 

“I dug Hard Day's Night, although Alun Owen only came with us for two days before he wrote the script. He invented that word ‘grotty’ - did you know that? We thought the word was really weird, and George curled up with embarrassment every time he had to say it. But it’s part of the language now-you hear society people using it. Amazing. 

“Help! was a drag, because we didn’t know what was happening. In fact [Richard] Lester was a bit ahead of his time with the Batman thing, but we were on pot by then and all the best stuff is on the cutting-room floor, with us breaking up and falling about all over the place.” 

The present: has Allen Klein made an agreeable difference to Apple, which was bothering John the last time I spoke to him? 

“Oh, it’s really marvellous. People were very scared of him to start with - and some still are - but that’s probably good. He’s swept out all the rubbish and the deadwood, and stopped it being a resthouse for all the world’s hippies. He won’t let people order antique furniture for their offices and so forth; he’s really tightened it up and it’s starting to work a lot better. 

“He’s noticed that The Beatles had stopped selling records as they were doing around the world, and he found out that it was because the record company simply wasn’t bothering to push them. They thought that our records would sell themselves, and they were wrong. They don’t. If you can get to No 1 in Turkey, Greece, Switzerland and a couple of other countries then that’s as good financially as getting a No 1 in Britain - they don’t realise that. 

“Klein’s very good - he’s going to make sure they stop sitting on the records and actually release them. He’s even keeping tabs on me - I usually make mistakes about who to get in to survey my house, and I can spend a fortune without getting anything done. He’s making sure that I do it the right way.” 

Richard Williams 

Melody Maker, 6 December 1969. 

Source: https://archive.org/stream/TheHistoryOfRock1969/TheHistoryOfRock1969_djvu.txt

Quoted in Rolling Stone in December 1969: https://www.rollingstone.com/music/music-news/beatles-splitting-maybe-says-john-182489/

Lots of this is quoted on the John Lennon website here: http://www.johnlennon.com/news/cold-turkey-plastic-ono-band/

[idreamtofthereaper]

Na Jaemin as your Ex (Clarity Oneshot)

NCT 127 // NCT DREAM // WAYV // Clarity Main Masterlist

A series of oneshots for different groups, for each member, wherein instead of them being your boyfriend, how they will be as your ex.

Nana

if you knew how his nickname would stuck him

and even become a meme

you would’ve put a copyright claim

get rich

and start your own company 

it all started out when you didn’t know that you were a lightweight

and a specific na jaemin

decided to take you out for some drinks when you finally went legal

the same day he did

because nothing shouts more ‘soulmates’ 

than having the same birthday

“To us finally being 20″

“To the both of you hopefully not being arrested, happy birthday you Two.” You, Jaemin, Johnny and Jaehyun cheered from Mark’s little toast. The bottles clicking at the center of the table followed by a sip.

2 bottles later, you could barely understand what you’re saying. 

The only reason you could even recall what happened is because Johnny filmed everything. Because, what else would you do if your friend is the most drunk you have seen in their life? Film them for future use.

The day after, which was already 1pm, you woke up beside Jaemin. You were hugging him as if he was that bear he won for you at the fair. Arms draped over his chest as you snuggled close to him.

Jaemin’s arm was served to be your pillow, the other one being stretched out while his legs were on top of yours while the other on top of the pillow as if he was stretched over the bed.

Or so you thought.

“Look, if you guys still won’t wake up I’ll start pouring the vase water over you.” Jaehyun’s voice said, your eyes fluttering open to see him crouching down to both of you. 

You groaned as you stirred, realizing you were hugging Jaemin, which in instinct you slapped his chest hard enough to get a reaction from him. This was nothing new, you may lose to Jaemin when it comes to his words, but you were definitely neck to neck when skinship is the competition.

Jaemin stirred as your hand connected to his chest, mumbling incoherent words that both of you doesn’t really cares what it meant. You were already sitting up and rubbing your eyes when Jaehyun stood back up. “I would let you guys sleep but you are occupying the space.” 

“What?” You asked groggily, not really catching his words and understanding him at the same time. Jaehyun handed you a glass of water and some medicine, and a few moments later, everything starts clearing up and you found out what he meant- you and Jaemin were at the living room.

Jaemin managed to sit up himself and you give him the pill and water, which he downed slowly. Jaehyun taking the glass back and disappearing from the kitchen. 

The both of you managed to make your way to the couch, fondling with your phone while your head rested on Jaemin and in there, you saw the groupchat exploded of videos of you. 

There were others but it was mostly you.

In it, you saw yourself doing the karaoke with Johnny, challenging Mark to a dance off, playing a game of ketchup with Haechan and everytime he would slap your hand (which wasn’t even that hard and would often miss as he was also drunk) you would let out an angry sound and slap his face, which was also not doing much as you missed.

You then stumbled on the video of you back at the karaoke, a mic on your head as you pointed at Jaemin, who was now knocked out sleeping on the table. 

“TO MY BIRTHDAY BABE, THIS SONG IS FOR YOU!” You then proceeded to sing the Batman theme song, replacing the ‘Batman’ to Jaemin. Shouting the words “Nanananananananana, Jaemin!” Making it sound like the Perry Platypus theme song instead.

Since then, everyone around you started calling him Nana

You thought Jaemin would be bothered by it

but instead, he find it really cute and endearing

if anything, he was bothered how other people would call him that because originally

he wanted that nickname to be just for you

but then he realized how, he would always have a piece of you in that way

oh how things have changed

The Realization

“You should rest up, it’s getting late.” You said through the phone as you yourself made your way to your bed with your eyes already half closed. 

“I couldn’t sleep without you.” You just groaned at Jaemin’s cheeky response, already pulling the blankets over you as you snuggled yourself with it. “It won’t take long, maybe just 30 minutes and I’m home.”

“Stay in the dorms, get some rest already.” You mumbled, the phone on the verge of falling from your grasp. “I’ll visit tomorrow- or later, it’s 1 am.”

“I’m on my way there. I love you!” He said enthusiastically, followed by a bunch of kissing noises, only making you hum in response. Muttering an ‘I love you’ back before turning the phone off and falling fast asleep.

When you woke up in the morning, you felt Jaemin’s arms wrapped around you. Causing a smile on your face, rubbing his hands rested on yours stomach before lifting it up to place a kiss on it.

He stirred a little at your actions, before pulling you closer to him and burying his face on your neck. “Keep sleeping, it’s still night. The moon is fooling you.” You chuckled at him, caressing his hair as you decided to stay in bed for a little while. 

“Okay you could stay here, let me make breakfast. I’ve been wanting to eat some pancakes.” Getting out of the bed was a struggle, but with Jaemin it was a nearly impossible task.

When you finally stood up, you head to the kitchen and on the counter, was Jaemin’s keys, phone and wallet and on the chair was his bag. You didn’t mind it, walking deeper to the kitchen to make breakfast.

And as you were mixing the ingredients, Jaemin’s phone continuously pinged. And again, you didn’t mind it. It was normal for Jaemin to not mute the groupchats he was on, which really gets irritating when it’s night and you’re sleeping- or trying to at least.

But then, the phone started to ring. After pouring the mixture into the pan, you decided to pick it up after seeing it was Jaemin’s manager. Wiping the hands on your apron, you slid the answer button. “Hello oppa, Jaemin is still sleeping. Maybe I could leave a message for him? Or just tell him to call you back?”

“Ah yn-ssi, yes, just tell Jaemin to call me back when he’s awake. Isn’t it a little bit too late for him to still be asleep?”

“It’s okay, oppa. He got home late anyways.”

“Oh yeah I forgot about that. Well, tell him to just call me back.” After agreeing and exchanging another pleasantry, you remove the phone away from your ear and without even noticing it, accidentally read the messages his manager sent.

“Yah Jaemin, the company really doesn’t like that you’re not listening to them, especially when it comes to yn.”

“I told them that there’s nothing wrong with it but they wouldn’t listen.”

“I told you don’t be too occupied around your phone, the dance instructor feels very disrespected and reported you.”

“Jaemin-ah, you have to reply.” 

“Jaemin your relationship with yn isn’t really much of a problem only if you remember you’re an idol and at the moment, your career is your priority. If you continue messing up the company will cut you.”

“Answer me please.”

When Jaemin woke up, the pancakes were burnt.

The Breakup

“Jeno, is Jaemin around?” You greeted Jeno, giving him a hug as you saw him about to exit the dorms in his biking gear. 

“He’s in his room I think, no one is around too.” Jeno gave you a knowing smirk, you replying with an eye roll. “I’m kidding, I’m going to head out. I think I’ll be back in 3 hours or something, are you going to stay for dinner?”

“I don’t think so.”

--

The smell of Jaemin’s shampoo welcomed you in his room. On the bed, sat Jaemin along with the stuffed dinosaur you gave him for his 16th birthday in his arm while he was fiddling with his phone.

Upon seeing the smiling pink and green creature, the idea of breaking up with Jaemin became harder than it already is. You remembered how long you and him have been together, how even before he auditioned you were already there for him. 

After reading those texts, you remembered your promise to him- how you would do anything to make sure he would have a great future. The entire week, you acted cold and distant so he would get used to you being not there around him, but in all honesty the person you were preparing the most was you.

Jaemin for an entire week was confused, not knowing what put you in a grumpy mood. That was the first week he didn’t slept beside you, but always made sure to write you paragraphs of how his day went before he could sleep.

Jaemin doesn’t deserve to have you. 

“Hey, I missed you.” Jaemin said, in a normal voice and not in his usual baby-ish voice. 

He immediately stood up and after pulling you in for a hug just did you snap out of your thoughts. Wanting to push him back but not having the powers to do so and instead, you pulled him closer to you.

With his arms wrapping tighter around you, his head resting on yours as his thumb rubbed your back comfortably, you started to sob. This was the last time he will hold you like this, this is the last time you will be held like this.

You didn’t even know that you were already sobbing, Jaemin taking this as another difficult day in the office and was just mere frustration or even pent up anger. 

You finally managed to pull away from him and before Jaemin could even say anything, you held his face on your hands and pull him in for a kiss. One he returned with so much love and care you could taste it.

You broke the kiss, wiping the tears away from your eyes and after breathing deep- “Let’s break up, I’m moving. My family is moving to another country, I’m sorry.” You really were.

“What? I don’t understand, yn don’t joke like this.”

“I’m so sorry, I’m always going to be your number fan. I love you, nana. Please take care of yourself.” You turn around and left in a haste, Jaemin chasing you out but gave up as you held a cab.

You just lost the love of your life.

The Aftermath

brushing off jaemin was hard

but after 2 months, he sent a final message to you

“Yn, I really don’t know what happened. I don’t know if it’s because of something I did or me itself. Still, I want to apologize. I don’t know how many times I need to say it for you to take me back but I’m really really really sorry for everything I ever did. But like you said, I need to take care of myself too. I can’t always be crying and thinking of you when you don’t even know me anymore. I just want you to know that despite everything, I still love you and I always do. Nothing will change that. I love you more than I could ever express, but I have to love me too knowing you’re not there to do that anymore. I love you, yn. Be happy, thank you for everything.”

you were itching to reply and say nothing was his fault

and to say how much you love him too

but you couldn’t

not when he finally could move on from you

the message didn’t do much but hurt you more

jaemin doesn’t have any bone in his body to hate anyone

especially you

and like you said to him

you are his biggest fan

you still watched their lives, interviews- everything

8 months has then passed after the breakup

and now, you gradually see the glow back to him

he was happy again

your nana was back

only, not for you

We Boom 

“Did you guys sent this?” Renjun asked, examining the bouquet of flowers he picked up that was waiting outside their dorm.

All of the boys shrugged, Renjun opening the door to their dorms and once inside, examined the card attached to the side. Reading it out loud for everyone “Hi dreamy babies, congratulations at the success of your new album. Please take every time you could get to rest and eat, treat yourself some ice cream~” 

All of the boys inside smiled to themselves, the short message causing everyone to grow more curious as to who sent the flowers. Renjun then handed the flowers to Chenle, who passed it to every member who wanted to examine it themselves which then landed to Jaemin. “You guys don’t mind if I keep this in my room right?” Everyone agreed, Jaemin happy as another touch of color was added to his and jeno’s room- placing the flower on jeno’s side of the room.

After taking a shower, he went to his bed and as he was fixing the flowers on the nightstand, the letter fell from the wrapper. He was about to put it back when he caught a glimpse of the content.

He couldn’t mistake it, it was yours. 

2 Weeks Later

After your breakup

and how sudden it was

dreamies didn’t really contacted you

you weren’t on their good graces anymore

which is why jaemin didn’t said anything upon seeing your handwriting

it’s just a flower, it’s nothing

but it was definitely not nothing when the smell resembles the one in your room

and as the flower started to wilt, he thought

fuck it

but not that hard because nana could never

“The flower you gave me, where did they came from?” Before Jaemin could even think further, the message was already sent to you.

Yn wouldn’t respond-

“Why?” 

Ever since the breakup, this is the first time you replied. And it was fast too.

In an instant, Jaemin sent a reply. “They’re dead, I like them.” Again, his phone was on his hands, thinking if your reply was something he imagines but after another reply of yours, he was sure he wasn’t.

“I’ll just buy you a new one.”

“How are you?” 

--

You contemplated if you should reply, you shouldn’t have replied in the first place. But it was as if your fingers were moving on its own as it typed a reply and sent it.

“I’m okay, congratulations on your new album.”

“Thank you. So about the flowers, where did you get them?”

“My grandmother grew them, she said you looked really good and wanted me to give them to you and the others.” 

--

Jaemin chuckled at this reply, remembering how your grandmother seemingly loved him more than you.

Jaemin wanted to ask if your grandmother knew, but opted out of it as this is the first time he talked to you in a while and don’t want to ruin anything. 

While typing a reply, a new message appeared. “I’m sorry for everything, for causing you so much pain. But seeing you now and how good you’re doing, I’m also so so sorry for saying I don’t regret anything. If I knew in the past breaking up with you would get you to where you are now, I would do it again.” 

Reading your reply tore him, though still confused him. “Is that why you broke up with me? Because I still don’t get anything.”

“Maybe we should talk this out? I think it would be better. There’s this cafe 2 blocks away from your dorms called Clarity Coffee, my treat.”

Jaemin thought about it hard. He remembered how much pain you caused him and how the breakup negatively affected him, and now that he was finally back on track he couldn’t imagine going back down there.

But it was you, and he could never say no to you.

After typing an agreement followed by the time, Jaemin only had one thing in mind.

He won’t come back all sad and broken like before, because you’re back, and that’s what matters.

[canniballistix]

consider: Over the hills and Far Away by Led Zeppelin as a complete characterization for Dean and his Happy Ending (tm) with Cas

In heaven, you have time to learn guitar.

It was a phrase that had popped into Dean's head one day as his fingers fumbled along the frets of the acoustic he'd picked up cheap.

He didn't mean heaven-heaven. At least he didn't think so. No, this was more like when those old-time Hollywood crooners would sing about heaven.

Maybe heaven was a feeling. Maybe it was a woman. For Dean, it was the open road.

Not the road-road. The idea of a road. Like that poem: two roads diverged in a wood, and Dean Winchester could at last choose which to take. He would take the road less-traveled-- at least by a hunter's standards.

He sat on the hood of the Impala. In the sun. The full, hot, direct light of it, feeling it bake his forearms and his cheeks as he plucked away at those shuddering strings.

His fingertips were delicate. Perhaps the most delicate parts of him-- never the target of violence and scarring, never hardened to a callous. He may have had the muscle for steel string, but his fingers cracked and bled and stained the wood.

The most wonderful bit was that, when he did begin to bleed, he could quit. He could put the guitar down and heal patiently, only to pick it up again later.

He could play the notes, but not the rhythm. That was a common issue of his. Everything rolled along so easy when he played slowly, but became a great muddled mess when he tried to play at speed. This song especially had him over a barrel; most difficult right in the beginning. With quick notes, meant to sound casual and not at all technical.

If he could just get to the meat of it, it would be all strumming away.

But he could wait. He'd get this part right, and then he'd be home free.

In heaven, you have time to learn guitar.

He plucked it again. Just the first few notes, quick as he could. Some were quicker than others.

"Agh, shit," Dean muttered.

He scooted back a bit on the hood, feet swinging freely over the asphalt. He bent forward a bit, scrutinizing his fingers as they struggled to slide along the strings. They plowed through it again, hung up in the same place as always-- though it was beginning to feel more familiar.

"Dammit." Dean chuckled to himself, then tried again.

"You're getting better at that."

"Christ!" Dean jumped a bit. He'd never be used to that, as much as he tried to be.

Castiel smirked. "Good guess, but unfortunately no."

Dean returned the easygoing smile. "That's only 'cause you've never heard this song," he said, gaze rolling back down to the strings as he played it again.

Cas leaned against the car beside Dean. He, too, peered down at the neck as Dean's fingers stumbled through the notes. "I'm sorry?"

"The song," Dean said, strumming over the strings very gently. "It's sounds good 'cause you've never heard the real one."

"Of course I have," Cas said. "It was on that tape. The Zepp Tracks tape."

Dean paused the practice to sift through his memories. "God, you kept that?"

Cas smiled and looked down at his hands. "Ah, well. A boy I liked gave it to me," he said coyly. "I couldn't get rid of something like that."

"And exactly how many times did you listen to that tape?" Dean asked. He was grinning like an idiot, now, though he feigned a focus on his playing. "I'm guessing more than once or twice?"

"Enough times to recognize the opening notes of Over the Hills and Far Away," he said matter-of-factly. "Even a little slow and a little off the beat. Is that too many?"

Dean shook his head. "No, sir. Not for any of the tracks on that tape," he said. "No such thing as too many."

"Hm." He nodded. "That's what I thought, too."

Castiel listened patiently as Dean worked through it again. And again. Over and over, the notes falling all over each other like crabs in a bucket. Getting closer all the time.

It was a beautiful day. A beautiful day for playing guitar and smiling and maybe, just maybe, singing along.

In heaven, there is time to learn guitar.

"You know," Castiel said at last, shifting ever so slightly, "if you wanted to learn faster, I could heal your fingers."

"Not the point, Cas," Dean said, jolly as always.

Cas tilted his head. "Isn't the point to learn?"

Dean shook his head. "Nah. Well-- sure, I guess. But…" He ran his fingers down the neck before dropping his hand to his knee. "I mean, I think the real point is that I've got time, now."

"Hm." Cas nodded slowly.

"I'm not… God, I'm not rushing to get it all in before I die," Dean said, though his words were choked off by something between a laugh and a cry. "Waiting around for wounds to heal is a luxury, Cas. I'm gonna enjoy it."

Cas scoffed. "That sounds more than a little masochistic."

Dean rolled his eyes. "It's not, it's not. It's-- God." He lifted the guitar strap up over his head and set the thing down on the hood beside him. "Y'know who had callouses on his fingers, Cas? Johnny fuckin' Cash."

"And…" Castiel squinted. "You want to be like Johnny Cash?"

"Johnny Cash lived," Dean continued, unphased. "He's been everywhere, man-- and I wanna go everywhere, too."

"Dean, you just bragged to me yesterday about having visited a Biggerson's in every state."

"And I stand by that accomplishment," Dean said, chuckling again. "But I've done all that. I've done that stuff so many goddamn times. I've driven back and forth across this country, and I've died more times than… I dunno. Batman, probably."

Cas shook his head, but couldn't hide his smile.

"Y'know what I've never done?" Dean asked.

"What?"

"I've never learned to play guitar," Dean replied. "I've never tried to bake a pie. I've never, in all the time I've lived in that stupid library, read the Lord of the Rings-- and I've never once spent a guilt-free day in pajamas."

Cas gave Dean a sideways look. "These are high are on your to-do list, Dean?"

"Man, shut up…" Dean gave Cas a playful shove, and Cas accepted it faithfully. "You know what I'm saying. All my life, I've been one thing. And I've been it really, really well."

"That you have," Cas agreed with a bit of a nod.

"And the best part about being done is that I… I can be someone else." Dean looked down at his hands, at the unfamiliar cracks on the pads of his fingers.

Cas nodded. "I know you're talking about being a hunter," he said. "But I think that would apply to other things, as well."

Dean swiveled around to face the angel-- or maybe not-so-angel-anymore. Castiel cast a glance over his shoulder at Dean, now cross-legged on the hood of his beloved car.

Cas very subtly uncrossed his arms and rested one hand on the hood. Dean unflinchingly reached out and took it in his own.

"Oh, yeah?" Dean's fingers danced along Cas' much in the way they had leapt between the frets on his guitar. "Such as?"

Cas clucked his tongue. "Womanizer, perhaps," he suggested wryly. "Soldier. Martyr."

"And thank God for that, huh?" Dean leaned forward slightly, and pressed his forehead into the space between Castiel's shoulder blades.

They sat like this a while. Dean's fingers wormed between Castiel's, and they interlaced with practiced ease. The sun was warm on them-- enough to burn the back of Dean's neck, but he hardly noticed. Castiel was warmer than the sun, he thought.

"I was so tired, Cas," Dean whispered.

"I know."

"There were times I thought I--" He choked on the words. "But I didn't. I'm still here."

Castiel squeezed his hand gently. "I'm glad."

"I didn't think I'd be able to do it, y'know?" Dean said.

"Me neither," Cas said. "I didn't think I'd be able to, that is."

Dean lifted his head. "It's like coming home from a war, isn't it?" he said. "I read a great book about that once. Long time ago."

"Did you?"

Dean nodded, though Cas couldn't see. "I mean, I don't remember what it was called," he said. He ran his thumb over the back of Cas' hand. "But I-- I remember the guy who came home just drove around. All day, all night. Ate at drive-through restaurants and chatted up girls and listened to the radio. He didn't know what else to do with himself, y'know?"

Castiel chuckled. "Sounds familiar."

"Maybe."

Cas pulled his hand away from Dean's.

Dean leaned back a bit as Castiel turned to face him, both hands on the car's hood-- one on either side of Dean's folded legs.

They stayed here, frozen, for a very long moment. Hardly a foot between them.

"I'm gonna be okay though," Dean said at last, softly. "You know how I know?"

"How?"

"I have you," Dean said simply. "And we can be veterans of war together. You ever think about learning guitar? Or maybe banjo?"

Castiel sighed lightly. "I don't think you should read Lord of the Rings," he said.

Dean snorted. "Yeah? Why's that?"

"I don't think you'd like the ending."

"You've read it?"

Cas shrugged. "I know more about pop culture than just what you've taught me."

Dean let out a long, low whistle. "Look at the big man, over here," he teased, tugging gently on Cas' tie. "This guy knows the end of Lord of the Rings."

"Dean?"

"Yeah, Cas?"

Cas looked into Dean's eyes for a moment. It was a strange sort of look, like a man sizing up a show horse. It drug on for far too long, Dean thought. Far too long for Castiel to be so close.

"Cas?" Dean repeated.

"I was thinking about kissing you," Cas said.

Dean's heart caught in his throat. "Uh. That your way of asking permission or something?"

"I just figured…" Cas cleared his throat. "Well--seeing as I hadn't before--I should say something."

Dean nodded slowly. "You don't have to get all hung up on thinking about it," he said.

But, even if he had, it would have been okay.

In heaven, you have time to learn guitar.

[original-idiots]

Batfam Social Media: Waynes’ World YT #3

- because of popular demand they finally did a behind the scenes of dance vids Cas and Adri go around the city scouting and taking photographs of locations for the videos and then cut to them creating the choreo (sometimes with Dick or Reina or Steph) and to Adri and Damian composing, recording and mixing the songs to dance to.

- The great Gotham bake off started off as a joke. Dick tweeted he would do anything for a slice of the best chocolate cake. And suddenly the manor, his apartment and his office were receiving package after package, box after box of chocolate cake. Some were pretty good, some were downright horrible, and some were so suspicious Tim took to analyzing all of them for poison or crazy fan dna.

- the winner of best cake though was an ugly ass cake no one even bothered with for days until Jason decided to try it during a tea time video and he literally spaced out so long, Adri worried he was poisoned. Then he proceeded to scarf it down and fight off everyone who tried to steal a piece. Eventually he let them have a taste and it was declared winner. The tea time room though? Totaled.

- Bruce gave them one rule in allowing them all to go to the Gotham ComicCon. They werent allowed to use their suits. So they used each others. Dick went as Robin, pixie boots, scaly panties and all. Cass went as a Signal, Duke went as Spoiler, Steph was Nightwing. Tim deviated by dressing as Alfred (moustache and white hair included). Adri was the Red Hood and Damien would only accept Adri’s Nightingale armor.

-actually he wanted Batman but Jason stole it first. No legit, he stole Bruce’s REAL Batman suit and proceeded to brood and scowl at everything. He even won a contest for best impression but then needed a dozen throat lozenges the day after.

- during the summer of Gotham, everyone took to stripping around the manor. Yes they had centralized cold air but somehow it was still hot and everyone would take off shirts and just wear shorts and sports bras. It didnt really bother anyone except Alfred who conceded when he found the need to take off his own jacket. But then Tim and Adri went for coffee with Babs uptown. And Tim forgot they were in public and took his shirt off.

- the pics went viral for a solid 30 minutes before he took them all down...until Babs started reuploading them again.

- on Barbara’s Birthday she got tremendously wasted. Dick was right there with her, Jason was well on his way and Steph was already singing Kumbaya on the rooftop of the manor with Tim asleep next to her. Adri was holding Kate’s hair back in the bathroom and Damian went out on patrol because they wouldn’t let him drink. Meanwhile Cas and Duke took all the pictures.

- Gotham Nights 2 followed Tim, Dick, Adri and Bruce as they went on nightshifts at work. Jason was Adri’s camera man, and Cas was Dick’s for his a bust in Bludhaven. At Wayne Tower, Tim and Bruce were providing insight and facts about the company and it was going so well until a new intern spoke the forbidden words of the tower. “Sorry Mr. Drake sir, we’re out of coffee” and it all went downhill from there.

- because of how much Alfred was seen prepping snacks and readying coats in the last video, people requested to see a day in the life of the Wayne’s ever reliable butler Alfred Pennyworth. It was all really wholesome, talking about cleaning, cooking and his favorite things, until he showed pictures from when Bruce was young, and from when Thomas Wayne was young and everyone in the comics went batshit over how Alfred didnt ever age in them.

-thus the hashtag #AlfredIsImmortal came to be.

- it was Steph (off duty) who decided she wanted to go “vigilante hunting”. It was Adri, Cass and Duke that gave no arguments. Only, they didnt tell Jason, Dick, Tim or Damian who were on patrol that night what they were doing. Imagine Jason tensed up on his sniper’s nest paranoid that someone could see him, suddenly hearing. “OHMYGOSH GUYS WE CAUGHT THE RED HOOD!”

- The Solheim vlogs became a quick favorite because not only were viewers getting inside the world of the Royal Morgensonne family, Adri had brought over a hundred of the refugees of her country who were staying in Gotham back home for the Midsummer festival.

- but of course, these are the Waynes. Because Bruce gavr the private jet for use of the refugees, they took a commercial flight which got delayed. It was fine until Steph and Tim got bored and found a costume shop.

- when they go to Castle Morgensonne, Dick saw the tallest tower and decided to accept the challenge. What challenge? Exactly. He climbed it then proceeded to dive off it into the loch below. The others followed and the staff were so scared they thought there were ghosts in the tower. Until Adri climbed up there with them and yelled it���s okay. And if the princess approves, why not?

- while some of them went on a traditional Midsummer hunt with Adri and her brother the King, Tim and Duke decided to have a photoshoot in the nightbloom fields east of the castle where the grass and leaves of the wildflowers are such a dark green they almost appear black. They get incredible pics and also get incredibly lost until someone from the hunting party accidentally fires at them with an arrow, thinking they’re game.

- “Yeah, accidentally.”Jason said at the end.

-because they all watched the movie Midsomar together everyone was a little skeptical of all the flower fileds and maypole dancing and singing and Jason and Tim went full crackhead after drinking something they were offered and kept declaring they were ready to join the cult. It turns out it was just crushed beets and they were just being stupid. But Damian wasnt going to tell them that when he offered it to them.

- the Solheim tradition of black items being burned in a central bonfire commenced, Dick drank some of the “crazy juice” and Cass was crowned Mayqueen for being the best dancer.

-Duke was also given a gift because the band heard him singing along and brought him up on the stage.

-when they got back everyone realized Tim had mislabelled the number of at least five prerecorded videos that were posted while they were in Solheim and gave him soooo much shit about it he said fuck it and started numbering them with ridiculous equations, random symbols and letters or, just not at all.

-also when they got back Commisioner Gordon got jacked.

- Dick notices it one night on the roof of the GCPD, Gordon takes off his coat and the sleeves and buttons of his shirt are HANGING ON FOR DEAR LIFE. Batman and the Comissioner are trying to have a serious discussion and Nightwing is poking Gordon’s biceps. “When did you get these?!”

- the next day Dick invaded the GCPD gym with a camera to film him during a workout and LORD. The onlie thirst was real, Barbara found it so funny she made it go viral herself.

____________

Part 1

Part 2

[doorbloggr]

Friday 28/5/21: Media Recommendations #4

Its Friday again, so that means I gotta nerd out about things I've had on my mind lately and recommend other people go enjoy them too.

Today's topics of interest will be:

Manga/Anime: Fullmetal Alchemist

Videogame: Monster Hunter Rise

Music: Kiss from a Rose; Seal

In past weeks, I have picked my recommendations based on shows/music etc that are not as mainstream as I think should be, hence I am recommending them with the intention of increasing the audience. But this week, I am sure these three pieces of media are very widely known already. And its not wrong to like popular things, they got popular for a reason. So this week I'm gonna gush about why I like these popular things.

Fullmetal Alchemist (Fullmetal Alchemist)

In the vaguely European-esque country of Amestris, those gifted by natural or acquired powers can reshape the world around them using the power of Alchemy. In this world, magic users, called Alchemists, are publicly known and acknowledged. The government even employs many State Alchemists, who receive funding for their specific alchemic research, in exchange for their cooperation during military conflicts.

Fullmetal Alchemist has one of the most well put together and interesting fantasy settings in all of fiction (in my opinion). It is both medieval fantasy but also late 1800s europe, and this helps create a world where magic has very strict metaphysical and political rules.

The story within this world focuses on the brothers Edward and Alphonse Elric, who become the youngest known State Alchemists as part of their quest to restore Edward's limbs and Alphonse's entire body which were lost to a tragic alchemic experiment gone wrong. Ed has classic napoleon complex, and detests anyone looking down on him, but he often has more than enough bite to back up his bark. Al is much more calm and collected, but despite his soul inhabiting an imposing suit of armour, he is the younger brother and often emotionally immature. The two have an interesting dynamic, where the older brother is small and snappy, but still feels responsible and protective over his towering, intimidating younger brother who speaks with a very child-like voice, but could easily knock you out.

FMA is not a very complicated story, but it has depth. Its rich world, with a variety of interesting and endearing characters, make for a very engaging time. It is a story of growth, trust, bonds, and rebuilding what was once lost, while maintaining what you are still working on.

There are 3 ways to experience this story. I have gone back and read the original Manga, and if you prefer Manga as your story form, it is a very fun read. There are two anime adaptations, one that was in production and finished before the manga was complete, and another that came a few years later. The former has a different ending to the latter, and I can only recommend the latter, Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood, seeing as I never watched the original series. But I have heard on good authority that both are worth the watch, so it is up to you. I can't really decide on a definitive favourite anime, but Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood is easily always top 3.

Videogame: Monster Hunter Rise

Sometimes, the rich lore and story are what makes or breaks consumable media, but sometimes, all you need is pure stupid fun. Monster Hunter is a series built on a simple premise that does not need much fluffing to be enjoyed. You are a hunter: a very skilled and powerful warrior who weilds, often oversized, powerful weapons of many types, and it is your duty to go out and hunt monsters: powerful creatures who can co-exist with the world but on a case by case basis, put the people and wildlife around them in harm's way.

Monster Hunter Rise is the newest game in the series, and is on the Nintendo Switch. Many players I've talked to have said that this is the easiest game to get into, but that does not make MHR an simple, boring game, and top-level play is definitely a grind. The draw of Monster Hunter is that every "level" is a boss battle, and that battle takes place over a huge map. In this game, the hunter is tasked with finding the monster, and then using their own gear, plus the help of nature around them, to incapacitate the target monster.

This game has fourteen weapons to choose from, and using each is like playing a completely different action game. They can be grouped as Heavy, Light, and Technical Weapons, but the truth is, all weapons are unique, and depending on which specific model of a weapon you use, they can be even more unique within that weapon. Monster Hunter games are RPGs, but rather than gaining EXP, and stat changes indicating growth, Hunters use bits of the monsters they've hunted to make themselves stronger.

Both new weapons and armour require monster parts, and you're never guaranteed to get all the parts you need from one hunt. So the game encourages you fight the same monsters multiple times, learning patterns, honing your skills. When you have made your ideal weapons and armour, you have gotten significantly better at hunting those monsters. Monster Hunter Rise introduces Wire Bugs, a resource with a variety of uses ranged from spiderman-ing up and across mountains, to lending themselves as super moves for your weapons. Breath of the Wild held a place in my heart for ages because of how good it feels to traverse, but honestly, Monster Hunter Rise's wall-running and grapple-hooking blow BotW out of the water. Its just fun to move! If you enjoy action games and boss fights, Monster Hunter Rise is 100% a game you should check out.

Music: Kiss From a Rose; Seal

In my very deep Spotify library, there's a lot of music I will just sometimes skip. Not because I don't like it, but because I need to be in the right mood. But there's also a select handful of songs where I will never skip because I will always be in the mood to shout those lyrics, no matter when or where. Seal's Kiss from a Rose is one of those songs.

The song was originally part of the soundtrack for Batman Forever, but it is not a song explicitly about that movie. I didn't even know this myself until a while after I was obsessed with this song. Kiss from a Rose is an emotional, almost melancholy song with a very hard to place meaning. Seal has said it could've been about a difficult relationship, but I feel it is up to the listener how they interpret it.

The instrumentals are subtle yet powerful, soothing yet exhilarating. It is just a very engaging song and the lyrics are just hard to not sing along to. If you've heard it, you know. If you haven't, take a listen and meet your favourite song this week.

[captaindodson]

Will you go to prom with me? (t.h oneshot)

Synopsis: Neither you or Tom got that magical slow dance at prom. So you decide to change that, but with a special marvel twist. 

Word Count: 1.6k+

New Messages from Harry H. Sent 1 minute ago

“Yo, your boyfriend really wants to go back to your room. “

Harry H. Sent 2 minutes ago

“You better hurry up cause I don’t think Jacob, Haz and I can hold him up much longer.” 

Shit.

I slide my finger across my phone screen and respond to Harry's message with a quick, 

“ just need another 10 min and then you guys can let him go,”

I shove my phone into my back pocket and rush my way into the back of the costume store hoping to find what I came here for. Tom had been busy all month promoting Spider-Man, Far-From Home. He’s been flying from major city to major city, country to country, with barely any time to breath and take a moment for himself. Every morning when he called,  I could just hear the drag in his voice. The exhaustion melted through every word that left his soft lips. When we would video chat, the bags under his eyes seemed a little bit darker, smile a little less brighter, laugh a little bit quieter, my heart could no longer bare to watch him burn himself out. It didn’t help that he was still working longs days on the weekend for Pixar and has to start filming Cherry really soon. So I decided to use some of my vacation time from work to join Tom and his brothers on the second leg of the Far-From Home tour to see if I could make the rest of the tour less stressful. 

 It seemed like my presence by his side away from the cameras seemed to lift his spirits, but only just a little bit. When he woke up this morning, through my eyelashes I could see how he slouched on the edge of the bed, dragged his feet to the shower, and his lips almost ghosted mine as he kissed me goodbye and left the hotel room with a soft shut of the door. 

 I stared at the black ceiling of our hotel room wondering, what could I do, even just for one afternoon (or evening). Then I remembered a conversation we had a few nights prior and I shot up from the bed. Ripped off the pale hotel sheets, grabbed my laptop and got to work on my plan. I now found myself hours later in the middle of a costume store in New York city trying to find the last piece to my plan. 

“Frankenstein, a ghost, a zombie, a sexy nurse, a sexy nun, superman, batman, a peanut, a bundle of grapes, holy shit where are the marvel costumes,” 

I mumble to myself while scanning each of the hangers of costumes. I eventually find some Marvel costumes in the back corner of the store only to find one Spider-man costume left. Without looking at the size I snatch it off the hook and head towards the counter to pay. Luckily, its the middle of June and no one is buying costumes so I just walk up to the counter and pay. Once I leave the store I start my sprint back to the hotel that is just two blocks away.

 I dodge and weave in between people walking on the New York city sidewalks while the sun beats down on me. I start slowing down as the hotel comes into view. I keep a steady pace as I open the doors to the hotel and enter the air conditioned lobby. I ignore the stares of fellow hotel stayers as I walk down the hall past the main desk to the elevators. 

I press the button to call the elevator and this is when I lean forward, resting my hands on my knees to catch my breath. After a couple deep breaths, the elevator DINGS, and the doors open. I get in and press the button for the 6th floor. I feel a buzz again in my jean pocket and take it out to see another message from Harry. 

New Message from Harry H. Sent 1 minute ago

“Yo Y/N he’s on his way up now. I hope we gave you enough time to finish.”

“C’mon elevator, go faster, “ I grasp my phone tighter in my hand without responding to Harry. This elevator ride feels like I’ve been on it for an hour by the time it reaches my floor. 

I book it down the hall and around the corner to our room. I get out the key card from my purse and I swipe it to get inside. I slam the door behind me cringing slightly at the force but I still I throw my purse into the tub in the bathroom. I rip the hanger and tags off the Spider-Man costume as I start to put it on. As I put one leg into the costume I realize that it’s not going to fit with my jeans on. So I take them off and try again.

The costume gets about have way up my body and then gets stuck on my t-shirt and I groan. I take my shirt off and proceed throw it into the bathtub and pull the costume over my shoulders. I exit the bathroom and start putting everything into place. I shut the curtains to block out the light, plug in the lights, connect my phone to my blue tooth speaker and set my Spotify to play my, “Prom 2K19” playlist. Its a playlist filled with Theweeknd, Tom Jones, Kendrick Lamar, and many other artists. I feel like everything is all set so I start I make my way over to the door. 

I grasp the cool metal handle and open the hotel door enough to stick my head out into the hallway to see if he’s coming. I hear the echo of an elevator arriving at this floor and hopefully it is Tom. I pull my head back a little bit so only half my face can be seen popping out the door. I hear foot steps get louder and louder until someone turns the corner and I sigh in relief. Tom, whose hair is still nicely styled from his interviews, is looking down at his phone completely oblivious to everything around him. I quickly collect my homemade sign from behind the door and jump out into the hallway. 

I raise my sign above my head and say, “Will you be my Spider-Man and swing to prom with me!” 

I smile widely at Tom to the point my cheeks start to hurt. He stares at me from a few feet away, eyes wide, and mouth agape. It takes him a few seconds to re-collect his thoughts before he starts to talk. He slides his phone into his dress pants and walks towards me. 

“Wha-what are you doing darling? Why are you dressed as Spider Man,”

Tom stutters out his words. I lower my poster because my arms start to tingle because of how hard I’m fighting against the costume.

“You know how we were talking a few nights ago how I didn’t have a good prom and you never had a prom so I thought I would try and change that. I know I can’t turn back time and we can’t really leave New York since you’re promoting Far-From Home, so I decided to bring prom to us,” I continue. 

“Plus you’re my favourite super hero baby, ” 

I giggle as I put up my sign up above my head again. 

“So will you go to prom with me Tommy?” 

“I would love to go to prom with you darling, but where?”

I wink at him as I tuck the poster under my arm and wiggle my finger at his seductively. I push open the door to our room to reveal what I have been working on all morning and afternoon. 

The lights are off and the curtains are closed. Fairy lights are strung from the ceiling as well as a long the dresser and around the bed. About a dozen balloons are resting against the ceiling with their golden and silver strings flowing below them. A bottle of champagne lays in a bucket of ice with two wine glasses standing close by.  As Tom stands with mouth slightly agar I get down on one knee and extend my hand out to him. 

“May I have this dance, Spider-man?”

Toms face breaks out into a smile that gets bigger and bigger every second he stands in the doorway of our hotel room. He closes the door as his smile gets bigger, he then starts to laugh, his body shakes as he kneels to the floor. My smile reaches ear to ear at his laughter that I haven’t heard in weeks. I stand up and quickly grab my phone to change the music from some cheesy pop song to something much more relaxing. 

The instruments of ‘Just the Two of Us, by Grover Washington and Bill Withers dances its way out of the blue-tooth speaker resting on the dresser. Tom’s laughter eventually calms down as he stands emptying out his pockets and throwing his phone on the bed. He moves forward to interlock fingers with my hands, he pulls me close so we are chest to chest. We allow are bodies to take over and sway, enjoying this moment of peace in each others arms. 

“You need to take care of yourself bub, take this night and relax with me,” 

I whisper into his muscular chest as we sway together. 

“I love you, ” he whispers back to me as he spins me around and dips me only to reconnect our lips once more.

[purplesurveys]

1142

survey by tickticktmr

Do you have a digital camera? What color is it? No, haven’t held one in years. The last digital camera we had was a bit of a magenta shade; it actually belonged to my sister but I borrowed it occasionally.

Did you like the movie Juno? It was ok, though to be honest I’ve mostly forgotten what it’s about. I remember fairly liking it but it’s not the type of movie or genre I’d rewatch.

Name something you think is way over-rated: Big Macs, which I’ve never found tasty.

Do you remember your first friend? Yes, it was a girl named Kaye that I sat with in preschool. She didn’t stay too long in my school, so I haven’t been able to reconnect.

Would you rather live with your mom, dad, a friend or on your own? On my own.

Name something your pet(s) like: Walks.

Do you listen to country music? No, I don’t.

What does the color white remind you of? Peace, serenity, doves, minimalist homes.

What show/movie/song makes you cry every time? Show: From Brooklyn Nine-Nine - either the episode where Rosa Diaz comes out as bisexual or the episode where Terry gets racially profiled.

Movie: La vita e bella.

Song: There isn’t one song that makes me cry 100% of the time, but I suppose Why We Ever by Hayley Williams had this effect on me for a time.

What was your last fight about? I spilled a drop of our dinner’s soup on the dinner table last Thursday and my mom did a sufficient job making me feel incompetent and a dumbass about it, so I was hurt by it and didn’t speak a word for the rest of the evening. Not really a fight, but y’know.

Do you text a lot? I used to not but anymore. I usually get prepaid for LTE now, not to have credits for texts.

Have you ever been screamed at by a teacher? Many times. A number of them didn’t like me for whatever reason...

Do you smile or scowl more? I definitely try to smile more, but idk for sure if that’s what I do more frequently.

Obama or Bush? Idk, maybe Obama? Considering we were colonized by the US at one point and imperialism remains to linger in my country, I generally don’t take kindly to any US president, though.

Batman or Superman? I don’t like comic books.

Are you excited about Blink 182 getting back together? I don’t follow the band so I’m not sure how recent or relevant this news is, but  generally speaking I don’t remember ever being stoked for a Blink-182 comeback in particular.

Would you rather be a teacher, a stripper or a hairdresser? I’d go with teacher, and preferably of history, so that I at least can have an hour or so to talk about my passion with other people lol.

The last person you spoke to: how many times have they made you cry? Just once.

What's your favorite kind of gum? The classic bubblegum flavor is fine with me.

Have you ever failed a class in school? Just exams, but never altogether an entire class that required me to retake.

Are you even in school? No, not anymore.

Are you taller then your best friend? No haha, I’m slightly tinier than both of them.

Are you scared of spiders? I’d be scared probably of the larger kinds, but all we get here are the super small spiders so this isn’t an issue for me for the most part.

You can't eat anything ever again except for jello or apples: which one? Probably apples. I cannot stand the texture of jelly/Jell-O, and I guess I can move past my dislike of fruits for this situation since apple is kinda decent anyway.

Have you ever cheated on anyone? No, never man.

If you answered yes to the last question, do they know about it?

Do you paint your nails often? I never do and I never have them done either.

Mascara or lipgloss? Er lipgloss I guess, since I literally don’t care how my eyelashes look.

Who’s the last person you called? I think it had been Denise, a co-worker. 

Describe the last person who sent you a text: It was just the delivery guy who brought Ysa’s gift to my place, so I don’t know enough about him to be able to give a sufficient description.

Do you ever watch TV shows or movies on YouTube? No, because for the most part they would be high- or low-pitched, in a tiny screen, sped up, zoomed in, or altogether fake. I also don’t understand why buying movies individually on YouTube is still a thing when Netflix exists for literally cheaper.

Myspace or facebook? Uh Facebook, I guess.

How old were you when you lost your first tooth? I was around 5 or 6, I think.

Have you ever embarassed yourself in front of someone you like? Yeah. But when I started dating them, fucking up in front of them became less embarrassing, of course.

Describe your hair right now: Wet and slightly dripping since I just stepped out of the shower.

Do you like it when it rains? Yes, it’s my favorite weather.

Does anyone miss you right now? I hope my friends do...but I can’t say for sure.

How many funerals have you been to? None. Just wakes.

Where's your favorite place to hang out? Depends on the vibe I’m feeling for the day and the company I’ve got.

Have you ever laughed so hard you peed in your pants? Oh gee, never.

Do you like video games? What's your favorite one? I was raised around video games and so much of my childhood was watching my kuya, dad, and a number of my uncles completing games, so I definitely hold a big appreciation and fondness for them. I never inherited any skills of my own though lmao, so I mostly watch walkthroughs; and the only video games I’ve ever met considerable progress on are Nintendo games marketed for all audiences HAHAHA.

Have you ever worn something your parents wouldn't approve of? Yeah I’ve gotten chided by my mom a handful of times, telling me to cover up with a jacket or something. But her reasoning was always men, so I’m usually able to defend myself and say that that’s not my problem and that’s something fucking men have to deal with themselves. We both know I’m right so she ends up begrudgingly letting me go out with whatever outfit I choose on that given day.

Where are your sibling(s)? They are in their respective bedrooms.

When's the last time a friend got dumped/dumped someone? September. That friend was Gabie and the dumpee was me hahahah, does that count?

Do you celebrate Valentine's day? If I have a significant other, yeah. I like keeping our activities lowkey though because from all my past experiences, malls and restaurants tend to get fully booked on February 14 and it ends up being more of a (very crowded) hassle than a celebration.

Do you celebrate Christmas? Yep.

Does it snow where you live? Never.

Have you ever wanted a pet unicorn? I never did, actually.

Would you like to work to earn money, or simply have money given to you? The latter is obviously the ideal situation, but I recognize the importance of hard work too and constantly working on my skills.

If you could be on any game show, what one would it be? Jeopardy or Family Feud.

Do you know anyone whose famous? Yes, at least locally.

Do you read those gossip magazines? I used to, lol those were my guilty pleasures back then. I still keep up with celebrity updates, but I’ve moved to social media now. I also filter which publications I consume and avoid the tabloid-y ones like Daily Mail.

Summer or winter? I’d go with winter so that I can actually experience it for once.

What do you hear right now? I’m watching an archived Facebook livestream of a senior citizen who had held a virtual piano concert to raise funds to afford his maintenance medicine. The media ate it up like crazy and it’s since gone viral, so I was able to I read about him earlier tonight. He reminds me so much of my late grandpa so I quickly searched for the finished concert on Facebook and now I have it on :)

When's the last time you saw a cousin? Around two weeks ago.

Where were you the last time you left your house? I can’t remember exactly. I think I went to Feliz...OH OK I remember now - I originally went to the nearby SM to handle an LBC delivery for work, and to stay at Starbucks for a few hours also to work. After that I went to their vape stall to buy new pods but they didn’t have any for the vape brand I use, so I went to Feliz as well to try my chances there. They ended up having a few flavors but not what I usually get, so I decided to try a new one - grape lol.

Describe the room you are in: Dark, filled with the lovely sounds of piano music, and the faint smell coming from my scented candle. Overall, light and peaceful.

What shoes did you wear today? I wore my Onitsukas when I walked Cooper this morning.

[daxwormzz]

@weyounbathwater tagged me in this game thingy oh man oh man here i go

Name: Malcolm! or Mal, sometimes my friends even call me milk boy for some reason

Gender: Beleagured Academic sitting on an antique leather armchair passed down to him from his grandma in the middle of his own personal library, utterly surrounded by books he uses in an attempt to fill the ever-growing proverbial cavernous emptiness in his soul. He dreams of one day faking his death so he can leave the country and become the clown he always yearned to be.

Star sign: Leo

Height: 5,6" & 1/2"

Time: 1:25 PM

Birthday: July 28th

Favorite band(s): oh boy uhhhhhhh thats a good questiooonnnn i listen to so many different bands its hard to choose (and plus my opinions on everything changes constantly so if i do put my current faves here they'll most likely be outdated in a week or two) but here goes nothin: Will Wood & The Tapeworms, The Paper Chase, Jukebox The Ghost, They Might Be Giants, Insane Clown Posse, CAKE, and Mother Mother.

Favorite solo artist(s): (same stuff about my opinions changing a lot goes for this too) Fiona Apple, Lemon Demon, Yung Spinach Cumshot, Talkshow Boy, Penelope Scott, Marina, aannnnddd Shayfer James.

Song stuck in my head: My Chinchilla, by Cub

Last movie I watched: The LEGO Batman Movie

Last show I watched: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine (1993-1999)

When did I create this blog: uhhhhhhhmmmmmmMMMMMMM liiiikkeeee 2017 ish i think? something like that

When I post: Everyday like all of the time, or just kind of whenever i want i dunno man i never schedule stuff

Last thing googled: how old do you have to be to rent a Uhaul truck

Other blogs: wouldnt you like to know weather boy

Do I get asks: a couple every now and then, i do wish i got more cause whenever i get them they're always really nice and funny

Why I chose my URL: i was just like "fuck dude what are words that mean huge nerd loser whos annoying and talks too much and goes into too many details and specifics???" and then i just mashed the two words together when i found them.

Followers: 886 currently :)))))))

Average hours of sleep: hmmmMMMMMMM like, some days its 3 other days its 10 and there is no in-between.

Lucky number: 3! i dont actually know if this number is lucky for me i just really like the number 3

Instruments: I play Clarinet! and i used to know how to play the drums but ive certainly gotten rusty by now, and i've been meaning to learn Guitar some time soon ish.

What I’m wearing: khakis and a weird button-up with a wacky print on it

Dream trip: A big couple-week-long summer roadtrip with me and all of my online besties i havent met in person yet!

Favorite food: okay please dont bully me for this but its,,,,, Potato chips and ketchup. or Blue cornchips and ketchup both are really good

Nationality: Native American! but like there's also a bunch of different stuff mixed in there as well but prodominantly native

Favorite song: Every Single Night by Fiona Apple

Last book I read: Good Omens by Terry Pratchet and Neil Gaiman

Top 3 fictional universes i’d like to live in: all i can reaally think of is star trek tbh, all of the other universes my favorite media takes place in tends to kinda suck a lot in some way and i mean star trek's world has its problems too but id say the good outweighs the bad.

Favorite color: i like all colors so its a bit of a context thing i'd say, buuuuuutttt if i HAD to pick more specific colors then i'd say green and warm yellows.

all of the people i would have tagged to do this sort of thing have already been tagged so i have.................. nothin...

[lovemesomesurveys]

survey by tickticktmr

Do you have a digital camera? What color is it? Nope. I’ve just been using my phone for over the past decade now, which fortunately got a lot better over the years. My current phone is the iPhone 12 Pro Max and it’s gold.

Did you like the movie Juno? Yeah.

Name something you think is way over-rated: Drinking alcohol.

Do you remember your first friend? Yeah, these two girls when I was in preschool named, Starr and Crystal.

Would you rather live with your mom, dad, a friend or on your own? I live with both my parents currently and I like that.

Name something your pet(s) like: My doggo loves zucchini. 

Do you listen to country music? Yeah, some.

What does the color white remind you of? Purity and cleanliness.

What show/movie/song makes you cry every time? “Everlong”. (the acoustic version) by Foo Fighters is a song that always makes me cry or feel sad because of the memory attached to it.

What was your last fight about? I don’t remember.

Do you text a lot? No.

Have you ever been screamed at by a teacher? No.

Do you smile or scowl more? Probably scowl, ha. I’m always in some kind of pain, feel crappy, or in a mood and I feel it shows on my face.

Obama or Bush? --

Batman or Superman? Superman.

Are you excited about Blink 182 getting back together? I’m not sure how old this is or what they’re up to now. I hear about Travis Barker a lot lately cause he’s dating a Kardashian, but I haven’t heard about him or the band in a long time.

Would you rather be a teacher, a stripper or a hairdresser? A teacher out of the 3, but I really don’t want to be any of them.

The last person you spoke to: how many times have they made you cry? I don’t know.

What's your favorite kind of gum? Minty kind only.

Have you ever failed a class in school? I had to retake a math course in community college.

Are you even in school? No, not anymore. I graduated UC back in 2015.

Are you taller then your best friend? No.

Are you scared of spiders? Terrified.

You can't eat anything ever again except for jello or apples: which one? Oh jeez. I don’t like jello and apples would get old very fast for me. That would really suck if those were my only two options. Granted, I’d get tired of any one food if that’s all I could have, but those two aren’t even on the list of foods I like.

Have you ever cheated on anyone? No.

If you answered yes to the last question, do they know about it? -- Do you paint your nails often? No. It’s been a few years since I’ve painted them last.

Mascara or lipgloss? I haven’t worn any makeup at all in like 4 years now, but back when I did mascara was a must.

Who’s the last person you called? My mom.

Describe the last person who sent you a text: It was my doordasher last night sending me the photo of the food he dropped off at my door, ha.

Do you ever watch TV shows or movies on YouTube? I have in the past, but it’s been a long time.

Myspace or facebook? Facebook. Myspace has been dead for well over a decade now.

How old were you when you lost your first tooth? I think I was 6.

Have you ever embarassed yourself in front of someone you like? Of course.

Describe your hair right now: Up in its usual messy bun cause I can’t be bothered to do anything else with it.

Do you like it when it rains? I love it.

Does anyone miss you right now? I doubt it.

How many funerals have you been to? Three.

Where's your favorite place to hang out? My bed.

Have you ever laughed so hard you peed in your pants? No.

Do you like video games? What's your favorite one? I love Mario Bro games. I also like this series called Life is Strange. They have a few different games out now and a new one coming out later this year.

Have you ever worn something your parents wouldn't approve of? Nah. 

Where are your sibling(s)? My younger brother is in his room asleep. I’m assuming my older brother is at home asleep as well.

When's the last time a friend got dumped/dumped someone? *shrug*

Do you celebrate Valentine's day? It’s always been just another day for me cause I’ve always been single for it. I used to get candy or watch romcoms or something on that day and my mom does get me a gift every year like a gift card or stuffed animal or something, but that’s really it.

Do you celebrate Christmas? Yes.

Does it snow where you live? No, sadly.

Have you ever wanted a pet unicorn? Nah.

Would you like to work to earn money, or simply have money given to you? I mean, the last one doesn’t sound so bad... :X haha. 

If you could be on any game show, what one would it be? I’d bomb any gameshow, but perhaps Family Feud. I like playing along at home, but that’s a lot different when there’s no pressure or anything on the line.

Do you know anyone whose famous? No.

Do you read those gossip magazines? I used to.

Summer or winter? Winter, most definitely. What do you hear right now? My TV and myself typing.

When's the last time you saw a cousin? Over a year ago.

Where were you the last time you left your house? I went to my doctor appointment. That was back in January. I only leave my house since the pandemic started last year for my once a month doctor appointment and last month is was via Zoom. I have to go in-person this month on Friday, though. Meh.

Describe the room you are in: It’s my room and is full of giraffe stuffed animals and other knickknacks.

What shoes did you wear today? I won’t be wearing any shoes today since I’m not going anywhere.

[lycorogue]

Miraculous World: New York - United HeroeZ live-blogging (sorta)

Okay, it’s hard for me to live-blog everything I want to squee about, especially with the first watch. But I’m still wide awake and watching the re-air so let’s see how I do. (Turns out, I’m a slower typer than I thought and most of this was done post-watch again :P )

I absolutely love this special’s opening credits. It has a very Marvel feel. Nice.

Um... Uh... Did... Did Cristina Vee forget her Ladybug/Marinette voice over the break? I’m not liking this voice. I’m not liking it at all. STOP WITH THE VOICE! NOOOOOOO! (Also... Mr. Pigeon... Again? -_- )

Love that Adrien has started looking up the meaning of roses so he can find one Ladybug will actually accept. XD The boy tries so hard. <3

Hubby thought that Cristina might have decided to change up Ladybug’s voice so it’s not so obvious she’s Marinette (a la Batman) but the deeper voice is still here for Marinette. WHYYYYY!? The hiatus was clearly too long. She’s completely forgotten Marinette’s voice. OTL

Awww, Miss Bustier is pregnant!? She’ll be a great mom! eeeee

Also, smoooooooooth Marinette. Adrien is TOTALLY just a friend now... >_> Poor Luka. -_-

Also... ALYA’S VOICE IS WRONG TOO! WHAT THE HECK! WHYYYYYYYY. THIS IS SO AWESOME BUT I JUST CAN’T WITH THESE NEW VOICES! Everyone sounds deeper and gruffer... is that because the VAs are out of practice? Is it because they had to record at home with different equipment? What’s going on!?

Of COURSE Gabriel suspects a Miraculous in America. Good way to bring him to the States. At least Keith Silverstein remembered his Gabriel/Hawk Moth voice. I don’t know if I could have handled either Hawky or Adrien having the wrong tone of voice in this.

Oh. Oh no! Oh dear! Nathalie’s voice is the worst! At least hers can be explained away that she’s still recovering from the Battle for the Miracle Box but... *cringe*

KAGAMI’S OFF TOO! I think it’s 100% the actors not remembering the voices they used for these characters. -_- Such a shame. This movie is amazing, but the voices are so hard for me to get past. 

OMG, THE LITTLE CAT TO ALERT LADYBUG IS FLIPPIN’ ADORABLE! I’d hit the button a million times myself, so I feel ya, Chat Noir. Also, BRILLIANT play, Ladybug. :D

Equally brilliant plan on Plagg’s part. At least, it would have been if they were able to actually exercise it. Also.... WHERE DID THIS POWER OF FLIGHT COME FROM AND WHY DIDN’T THEY USE IT BEFORE!? >_> Me thinks the recipe for this power is magically going to be forgotten again once we get into the show proper.

Also, I know there will be salt thrown by the handful at Adrien after this special BUT THE BOY DIDN’T WANT TO ABANDON PARIS! He was going to stay and give up his class trip, but Plagg was right, when does Gabriel ever give him the freedom to do something like this? As someone who never got to go on any out-of-state (let alone out-of-country) class trips, I know how hard FOMO hits. If I had the chance, I would have jumped at it, ESPECIALLY after Plagg came up with a solid plan. EVEN SO, HE WAS GOING TO STAY! PLAGG CONVINCED HIM! And Plagg meant well. He wanted his kid to have a taste of freedom. Just... JUST LEAVE THESE TWO PRECIOUS BEANS ALONE, SALTERS!

UPDATE: The salters did NOT leave Adrien alone for this -_-

-_- And of course Luka’s voice is ALSO off. Still, my boy RACING A FRIGGEN BUS so Marinette can make the trip to NYC! SUCH A FRIGGEN GOOD BOI AND HOW CAN FANS HATE HIM HE’S JUST AMAZING AND *chef kiss* My heart just BREAKS for him though, because he’s sending his would-be girlfriend off on a weeklong class trip with her “former” crush and he KNOWS she’s still in love, but he’s not asking her to stay or pushing her to give up on Adrien and omg this kid is too pure my poor son!

UPDATE: So, apparently the hate mostly comes from Luka being - excuse the pun but - “one note” where as Kagami is more fleshed out and well rounded? Really? We know just as much about her as we do Luka. Just because we’ve seen Kagami flawed and we haven’t particularly seen Luka stumble that makes her more well-rounded? What if we just haven’t seen what Luka’s bad at? It IS possible to write someone whose flaws don’t necessarily come up often without them being some 2D Mary Sue. Give the writers (and Luka) a chance....

Awww. Adrien feeling guilty about leaving Paris and Ladybug. :’( But look at how cheered up he was just by SEEING Marinette! LOOK AT HOW HE RACED TO HER TO SEE WHERE SHE WAS SITTING!

Aaaaand then she panics. -_- This could have been Startrain all over again, but NOOOOO she’s now so focused on “he’s just a friend and I have to get over him” that she just has 0 chill around him anymore. -_- Go back to admitting you have a crush and just stumbling over yourself around him, huh?

(The Adrienette is STRONG in this scene though and I’m eating it up)

LOOK AT HOW DISAPPOINTED ADRIEN LOOKS SINCE SHE RAN OFF FROM HIM! WHYYYYYYY? And he has to be stuck sitting between his bodyguard and Mendeleiev. Poor kid doesn’t even have a friend to chat with on the long flight. TT3TT 

(So kind of serves Marinette right that she ALSO feels guilty about leaving Paris and now she has Mr. Damocles falling asleep on her instead of Adrien!)

I do appreciate that Cristina seems to be remembering Marinette’s voice more-or-less finally. Yay.

EEEEEE The sunset on the plane scene!!!!! <3 He speaks so softly to her and <3 <3 <3 (Also... Bryce Papenbrook seemed to have lost his Adrien voice in this recording... -_- )

UUUgh... was that still Ben Diskin doing Nino’s voice during the whole Operation New York dialogue with Alya? That didn’t sound anything like Nino! *sigh* Again, the main problem I have with this is the actors didn’t seem to get back into character before recording. Such a shame.

UPDATE: It was in fact NOT Ben Diskin anymore. :’( The new voice actor did well enough, but it just wasn’t Nino. I’m sure it will feel more like him the more I hear it, but I already miss the Southern Cali 90s Surfer Dude accent, even if it made no sense for a Gen Z Parisian to have it in the first place.

Awww, Mr. Damocles changing into his Knight Owl costume. <3 And then had to change back out of it. XD

They... actually named a superhero Uncanny Valley......

Knight Owl and Sparrow, AKA Batman and Robin.

“That’s just Captain Redlight directing traffic.” XD I mean, yeah, we have a lot of superhero characters but I think this is a bit much.

Alya oh so discretely pointing to Marinette as Nino directs Adrien to look out the window to see how beautiful NYC is. XD

AAAAAAND sliding doors vs Adrienette part 1. LOL I love how Aeon instantly figured out that Adrienette belong together.

Ooooooo Sabrina is gonna get herself an American boyfriend (And look at how jealous Chloe gets XD)

Adrien’s Soft Smile as Marinette realizes she was resting her hand on his stomach as she was hiding from Ms. Mendeleiev. So cute!

“Is it a bird?” “A plane” “No, it’s Hotdog Dan!” Oh. Em. Gee. Seriously? Ketchup Boy and Mustard Justice? Why!? Who came up with these code names!? XDDD

HOW DID NINO AND ALYA JUST RIP A HOTDOG IN HALF!?

eeeeeeeeeeeee THE FLOATING SCENE!!!!

Also, helium-voiced Nino commenting about his chick having wings <3

“Do you know this song?” I KNEW INSTANTLY WHERE ALYA WAS GOING WITH THIS AND I’M 100% HERE FOR IT. I AM SCREAMING!

Adrien’s soft asking Marinette to dance with him? He was practically PLEADING for her to say yes! And then she just scurries away from him!? And he grabs her hand to stop her from floating away. And then they just... nuzzle into each other as they dance and... yup. I’m screaming. <3 <3 <3 <3 (Also, the dance was at a party Chloe threw to prove to Adrien that she can be nice; it wasn’t her birthday, but I guess canonically it now was????)

Superheroes in America don’t have to hide their identities... perhaps someone should look into the comic book run of Avengers Civil War and decide if that’s a good thing... >_>

“I don’t mind being stuck with a friend like you” My heart is just flatlining. Like. ADRIEN, JUST SAY YOU ARE IN LOVE WITH HER ALREADY, OKAY!?

Jess and Aeon’s plan is as convoluted as one of Marinette’s XD I just love these two and I hope we see more of them.

Ah, Alya and Nino are good at manipulating their friends. 

Paris is under attack! Oh no! 0_0 

Ah, bargain-bin Doctor Octopus

After fully watching the special I know the answer, but when first hearing Sparrow I wondered if maybe Jess was genderfluid. Kind of a reverse of the Sailor Stars.

The transformation for the American heroes is both awesome and ridiculous and I love them.

“Marinette’s in danger” Adrien then INSTANTLY becomes Chat Noir to save her! <3 <3 <3 <3 I FREAKED when I first watched this part because I was afraid he might have spotted (excuse the pun) Marinette transforming. I was also curious how they were going to explain why they were in NYC. “I’ll explain later” is a good excuse. They are preoccupied by the villain and that gives him time to come up with a lie. Smart?

Aaaaand Cristina Vee forgot her Ladybug voice again. I hope this isn’t a new thing; switching up her voice for Ladybug. I’m not much of a fan, especially since she hasn’t always done it. :/

It kills me that Sparrow constantly comments about not calling for backup and gets in trouble for not calling when Sparrow DID try and the communicator was destroyed.

*flinch* The Chat Noir Cataclysm scene. My heart. It hurts. Poor Adrien. </3 All the guilt he has to hold for the majority of the second half of this thing.

EDIT: Totally forgot about the “American superhero gets understandably emotional over a loved one and smashes the villain through about half-a-dozen buildings with complete disregard for the collateral damage” trope.

Dollar Store Batman couldn’t figure out the manhole cover wasn’t in place. Whoops.

The breakdown scene where Ladybug lets Chat Noir know about how her powers work and how she can’t repair Paris. And Adrien giving up his powers. </3 And even though she’s so upset, and she felt betrayed by Chat Noir, the fact that she INSTANTLY yelled when she heard him renouncing his Miraculous and relinquishing it to Ladybug! And her TEARS as she realizes she lost him and won’t be able to return his Miraculous to him since she can’t even ask Fu to return it anymore!? Aaaaaaaaa! My heart!

“Gilbert?” XD I’m sorry but just hearing the poor little Eagle calling out the name is just too adorable.

ADRIEN WANDERING ALONE IN THE RAIN!? MARINETTE LOOKING ONTO THE CAT MIRACULOUS ALSO IN THE RAIN!? MY HEART IS BREAAAAAAAKINGGGGGG

The press conference requesting the NYC residents to stay inside until further notice. >_> Yeah... that... that might not work out so well if real life is any indication.....

“I wouldn’t have minded being stuck here a little longer with a friend like you.” >______< OH MY GOD, ADRIEN! (Also, Bryce lost his Adrien voice again... *sigh*)

Oh, and Marinette trying to chase him down to finally confess!? TT3TT

Oh man. Releasing a superhero from her fear of her powers. That can’t be.... yup. There goes like a dozen buildings in Manhattan.... -_-

Of course the POTUS is a superhero as well.... with access to weapons. Greaaaat. This isn’t a terrifying thought right about now.

I adore Sparrow. I ADORE SPARROW. I ABSOLUTELY FRIGGEN ADORE SPARROW!

About a million missile launchers hidden throughout the streets of NYC... >_< This isn’t hitting close to home or anything.

Eeeeeee. Marinette isn’t just unsure she can be Ladybug without A Chat Noir. She needs HER Chat Noir. She needs ADRIEN specifically. (Also, there goes Bryce once more forgetting his Adrien voice. Maybe he forgot what Adrien sounds like when he’s sad???)

UPDATE: Can we just talk for a minute the significance that Uncanny Valley - the superhero (accidentally) KILLED by Chat Noir (even if she was revived shortly after) - is the one happily returning Adrien’s superhero powers to him? How she has NO malice towards whatsoever towards Chat Noir? How SHE is the one to tell him that “to err is human”!? Beautiful! Love it! 

Nice. I liked that Uncanny can’t see the kwamis. Nice continuity.

THE LADYNOIR GLOMP! She was so afraid to never see him again. I LOVE how much this solidifies how important he is to HER, if not the team itself. 

The Americans being coerced by a foreign power to start a world war. -_- This truly is hitting too close to home right now....

Uh...How did Ladybug come up with the plan to trick Doorman to go to the Statue of Liberty? Both her and Adrien were already out of the room when he talked about the mystery of Eiffel’s safe inside the statue, and Marinette didn’t have any time to talk to Alya, so the two of them couldn’t have discussed how Doorman resisted figuring out this mystery because you don’t use your superhero powers for personal gain. Did she just luck into there being a mystery there that Doorman wanted to solve? Slight continuity issue there with the writing.... Whoops.

Awww, poor Doorman. He just wants to know the answer to the mystery!

Eagle’s transformation is so awesome! I love it. I love her. I want more of these American superheroes and wielders.

I love that Knight Owl and Sparrow are hand-me-down superhero titles! 

Oh my god, Hawk Moth slowly walking backwards dramatically from the window. XD WHY IS THIS MAN SO EXTRA AS WELL!? At least we know where Adrien gets it from. :P

I FORGOT ABOUT THE GORILLA! OMG! THAT IS AN AMAZING CALL BACK TO HIM! XDDD

So the American Miracle Box looks like it’s filled with Native American styled jewelry. So... are they based off the spirit totems!? I NEED TO KNOW MOOOOOOOORE!

UPDATE: Upon really paying attention to the opening credits, yes, the American Miraculous do indeed seem to be based off spirit totems.

I’m sure there’s more that I reacted to in real-time, but, as I mentioned at the top, I wasn’t writing fast enough to keep up with the pace of the show itself, so this is also largely by memory. :P Oh well. Always wanted to do a sort of reaction post about this series. One thing off the fandom bucket list, I guess.

[suspiriu-m]

About Me

Hello! My name is Sal and welcome to my blog, Suspirium! Suspirium is a word that originates from one of my favorite movies, Luca Guadagnino’s 2019 remake of Dario Argento’s classic italian horror movie Suspiria. According to World of Dictionary, Suspirium is a Latin word meaning “Deep breath, sigh”. It’s also the title of one of my favorite songs from the soundtrack to the movie produced by Thom Yorke of Radiohead. I’m a huge horror movie buff so expect to see a lot of that sort of content on my blog if I can incorporate it into any of my work. I chose this as the title of my blog because of how well the word fits into the movie, and I just love the way it sounds. Anybody who’s watched the movie will understand, but I won’t go into detail as to not spoil it for anybody who hasn’t yet seen it.

Throughout my highschool years I technically went to two schools. My main and home school was Middletown High School, and my secondary school was Orange Ulster Boces in Florida New York. In high school I was always in media production and art classes. For example, photography, video editing, drawing & painting classes and my favorite was an Elements of Horror class I took my senior year. Horror being my favorite genre, I absolutely had to take a class that’s dove into the origins of classic horror novels, films and short stories. Leading to me finding my favorite classic horror story Dracula by Bram Stoker, and a multitude of stories by H.P. Lovecraft. Continuing on now to college i’m now majoring in Media Production while also still taking some classes in Marketing and Design! I really enjoy both a lot so it’s hard to kind of pick exactly which I want to do, but it’s nice knowing that no matter what path I finally choose I'll still have some experience in the other!

Aside from my education, I love to watch horror movies and read stories in my own free time. Movies in general are a huge hobby of mine and I watch at least 3-4 a week given I have the time. Some of my favaroties of all time concerning classics have got to be the Halloween series, The Evil Dead series and all four of the Scream movies. Other hobbies of mine that take up a huge part of my life and time are video games and music. I have a pretty big record collection that’s continuously growing with at least 80-90 albums and counting. I just recently purchased a few more to add being Sade’s Diamond Life, Whitney Houston’s Whitney and Whitney Houston albums, Lazaretto by Jack White, Texas Sun by Khruangbin & Leon Bridges and Petals for Armor by Hayley Williams. Hopefully my next additions will be What’s Your Pleasure? by Jessie Ware and The Baby by Samia. I’ve been collecting them for years, but especially now since even CD’s are starting to go out of style. I’m the kind of person who still likes to have physical copies of all my music and movies and games so having such big collection is super special to me.

In terms of video games, I try and play as wide of a variety that I can because I believe I can find something I like in any genre. Strategy, shooters, brawlers, online competitive games etc, but I think my favorite style of game is single-player, narrative driven experiences. Most recently I played The Last of Us Part II and was absolutely enthralled with it. I loved the first game so much so getting a sequel was something I was extremely grateful for. I don’t think video games get enough credit for what they do for storytelling. TLOU 1 and 2 are some of my favorite stories that I have experienced in any form of media. The heartbreak, pain, love, fear and excitement those games have succeeded in giving me while just sitting in front of my TV is something no other form of entertainment has brought me. Some of the most touching moments, but also the most excruciating. They also had a queer women front and center throughout the games which is something that isn’t very common in video games so seeing that was really nice to me. Other than The Last of Us, some other solid narrative driven games I’ve played are God of War, Uncharted 1-4, Marvel’s Spider-Man, The Tomb Raider Reboots, Ghost of Tsushima, the Batman Arkham series and Control.

Although story based games are my favorites that doesn’t mean I don’t have a place in my heart for some good old fashioned fun as well! I also really enjoy a lot of the Super Mario and Legend of Zelda games as well. My biggest pet peeve that I have with the gaming industry right now though is Fortnite. I think it’s literally the most annoying game ever created. People spend hundreds and thousands of dollars just to buy skins and weapon packs and I think it’s absolutely ridiculous. The fact that I work at a major video game retailer and constantly have kids running through my store screaming about the damn game at least once a day could also contribute to my hatred. Either way, I want no part and absolutely nothing to do with it.

Going back to queer representation though. I recently watched Pose over the summer. Not only was the show heavily based during the AIDS epidemic in New York City, almost the entirety of the main cast was comprised of Transgender Black women. On prime time television! This is the first show to ever achieve such a feat. Not only was the cast extremely talented, I thought the writing and production of the show as a whole was brilliant. It definitely has its flaws and I could point out a few of them, but I believe all of the good of the show far outweighs the bad. It’s not afraid to tackle extremely real and difficult subjects the Transgender and Black communities have faced in this country and all over the world. It’s so important to see content like this on television as well because EVERYBODY deserves representation. Not only was the cast Trans, but one of the lead writers of the series Janet Mock is also a Black Trans woman! Pose was filled with heartfelt moments that truly had me sobbing in my bed as I watched. I think I actually cried at pretty much every single episode for both seasons. The cast is brilliant, the realism and talent and star power they bring to the show is like nothing that I’ve ever seen before and I’m so glad to be able to see them up on my television. I so badly one day hope that I can be behind the scenes of producing a show of this caliber some day.

While I have yet to help in the production of a show like this, I have had my fair share of of making short films, music videos and even assisting on a friend of mine’s first full length movie that he submitted to festivals. Last year, I had the opportunity to shoot a short horror film with my classmates for our final project. The film was based around a young woman getting trapped at her school in the middle of a blizzard, and slowly beginning to realize that she may not be alone. In a fight for her life, she has to survive till morning while going up against a mysterious killer who lurks the halls of her small town college. Sadly, we didn’t have enough time to produce a full and finalized cut of the film but coming together and working with a few other classmates was still a really fun experience. Not only was I able to play the role of the killer, I aided in audio, music selection, location scouting, props department, shot planning and writing the movie and it was a great time. I also had the pleasure of helping out my friend Matt Vincini in shooting his short film The Cattle Farmer. A horror/thriller film about a boy who is adopted into a family, only to realize that his life might have been planned from the start. It featured a mysterious woodland family who may or may not have had cannibalistic tendencies that included their adopted children. It was a super cool experience to be on a set with a bunch of actors and seeing my friend in action in the role of director. Collaborating on projects like this with friends is always a fun time, even it does get stressful at some points. At one point in the film, one of the characters realizes that the dinner he is currently eating could quite possible be his last meal ever. Which kinda let me to thinking what my last meal would be. After some thinking, I think i’d definitely have to choose my families homemade pasta and meatballs. I know, pretty stereotypical for an Italian family but it’s just so good. We make our own sauce every september and it’s a huge family event. Everybody comes together and one of our houses and it’s literally a whole days worth of work. The best part? At the end of the night, we all have a huge feast and make pasta and meatballs with all of the sauce we just made. It’s one of my favorite things to do with my family and always one of my favorite meals. Not only is it delicious, but also sentimental.

This is all for now! Thanks for stopping by my blog and reading a little bit about me. I could probably keep rambling on for hours but I don’t think that’s the smartest idea. I can’t wait to fill this blog with more content this year and hope to hear from you guys as well! Until then, i’ll be watching more movies and DEFINITELY playing some more games. At this point i’ve been playing the new Marvel’s Avengers video game so, let me get back to kicking some AIM ass!

[enygmass]

Title: Fragments

Author: Ames

Wordcount: 2355

Fandom: Not batman for once [whoa]

Synopsis: Brief glimpses of Nikolai’s life from birth (ish??) to the first scene of the game

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So I haven’t written one-shots in so long, but I discovered the game Monstrata Fracture like a hot min ago and haven’t been able to get it off my mind so like… if you wanna bag yourself a monster babe then you should jump over to @astralore [or their itchi.io] and check it out, i’m js... ^^

Anyway I may be botching this but I a) love Nikolai and b) love delving into characters pasts, so let's rock and roll, kids

Everything this is based on was snagged from the game play, mythology books, and lore that was answered on the blog 

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When the eggs were retrieved from the ocean, the fortune teller had announced that the speckling on the shell of the seventh egg looked “off.” The second fortune teller agreed, and the third one had not protested the former declaration.The three fortune tellers were sisters, renowned for the accuracy of their predictions, and for them to state such a thing with brutal bluntness brought immediate attention to this small, stunted, seventh egg. Albeit, a declaration that this seventh child would bring great things had come along with the unusual spotting, yes, but the unusual spotting was what stood most clear in the minds of all who were present. 

The young mothers did their best to pay it no heed. Alkonosts were superstitious by nature. Their ancestors had brought with them tales of dangers in the woods, of beasts in the snowdrifts, and of consequences for every action. Once, this declaration of unusual spotting may have brought dread to the ears of any parent, but the two mothers were of a more modern mentality. They thanked the sisters, inclining their heads with grace, before sweeping the eggs up into their arms and leaving. 

Seven eggs, seven children, and the seventh, to be a son. 

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Nikolai could not recall the exact procedure that led him to become a he. 

What he could recall were colours. Colours of all kinds; reds, golds, blues, greens. It was a myriad of hues that swirled before his naive eyes. He remembered that he had tried to speak. He had wanted to say something to his mothers, perhaps ask them what the colours represented, but he was silenced by a talon coming down and pressing upon his chest like a weight. 

Then, with the colours, there had suddenly been pain. Magic always had a consequence. This was a concept that had been drilled into the minds of any species that lived in their realm. Any entity that used magic, was exposed to magic, or even so much as learned about magic, knew that it took as much as it gave.

It felt like he was being reborn. 

A part of him wondered why he had agreed to this, although the reward held greater merit. To be able to feel like he was truly himself made the process worthwhile. Not to mention that the sprawling records of their family lineage that his mothers’ kept locked away indicated that he was not the first one in their family line to go through with this procedure.  

The process overall lasted minutes, but to Nikolai, it felt like centuries. It was only when the colours faded away and the bombardment of sensations fell to a dull thrumming in his mind did he become aware of his mothers’ voices. 

“Take him back to his room. The recovery process…”

“The recovery process can be tedious.” Another voice, less familiar and more jarring, cut his mothers’ protests short. Nikolai struggled to see who the owner was as the world seemed to spin in front of his eyes. He could make out the form of another Alkonost woman, with brown feathers meticulously groomed, standing a few feet away. Her lips were pursed in a thin line and her golden eyes were fixated on someone behind Nikolai’s prone form. 

“But it has never failed. He’ll be fine within a few days.” Another shift, and Nikolai felt himself being lifted from his position on the floor. The Alkonost woman’s gaze moved to meet Nikolai’s and her lips, if possible, drew into an even tighter line. “Contact us if problems arise, although I think there won’t be. I highly doubt the one who is supposed to be destined for ‘great things’ will be going away any time soon.”

With that, she turned away as the world in front of Nikolai’s eyes faded to black. 

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“Nikolai.” The voice of his teacher snapped Nikolai out of his daze, forcing him to turn his gaze from the treeline outside to the front of the classroom. An Alkonost woman stood at the front, her grey feathers adorned with silver, and a small smile tugging at her lips. “You’re lost, again.” 

“Not lost,” Nikolai was quick to protest as he straightened his back. “Just thinking.” 

“And what were we thinking of today?” The amusement was not lost in her tone as she settled herself on the edge of her desk. Her name was Lada, and she had been teaching him and his sisters to sing since they were hatchlings. His mothers’ could have taught them, but they were too busy with their political careers. Hence why Lada was in their lives. 

Singing was, unsurprisingly, a major part of an Alkonosts life. Singing was involved in everything they did: celebrations, mourning, daily routines, even mundane tasks such as cleaning often led to a chorus of songs from the flock engaged. One of the most profound memories Nikolai held was singing at a chapel during a Christmas celebration. The way the chapel had been lit in a brilliant golden glow, with holly entwining its columns, and how the room had been filled with Alkonost of all colour and kind singing with their glorious voices, was burned into his mind. He held onto it with every ounce of strength he had, in fear that he would never experience it again. 

“The regulations.” He spoke what he thought because he knew that Lada would find out either way. The regulations were on his mind a lot lately. His mothers had taken him aside and explained that his family, in particular, were under government watch for the use of their voices. An average Alkonost could wipe an individual's memories for 12-24 hours with the right training. Nikolai’s family could wipe them for more than 48. In fact, an ancestor of his had been known to have a voice that could wipe memories for years, if she so chose. 

“Ah.” Lada’s smile slipped and she fixed him with a more stern look. “What about the regulations?”

The question was so simple, but enough to cause Nikolai’s shoulders to tense up. It was no secret that the regulations were greatly protested by many Alkonost, but there were a few in the mixes—Lada included—who believed they saw the benefits of the regulations. 

“They’re unethical, that’s what,” Nikolai was quick to snap with his response, his brow furrowing as he turned to face his tutor. “Why should we be restricted when our gift doesn’t even make it into the harmful category of magic? Vampires have no restrictions on their compulsion abilities, and I dare say that being able to persuade someone to do something like slaughter their family is much more dire than causing memory loss for a day. Not to mention the lack of restrictions on Banshees, Fae, or even Kelpies. God knows their abilities are worth a ban.” 

Lada’s expression betrayed no emotions as she folded her talons on her lap, allowing Nikolai his brief vent. It was only when there was a pause for breath between his rants did she speak. 

“You’re forgetting, Nikolai, that many of the individuals you’ve listed have their own struggles they deal with. Yes, they may not have restrictions, but they’re subjected to far worse.” Lada’s lips twisted to a grimace as she fixed him with a stern gaze. “Like the slave trade, for example. No Alkonost is subject to that, but I can tell you that many Kelpies are.” 

The slave trade. It was one of Lada’s main points to bring up whenever they got into this debate. Nikolai was young, yes, but he was well educated in what the slave trade incorporated. Many Alkonost and other higher-class species had a hand in its ongoing, and it wasn’t uncommon to hear it discussed at Alkonost events. Nikolai bit his tongue. It was better to not discuss those kinds of things with Lada; she usually found a way to make several fair points to counter any objection Nikolai voiced. He wasn’t a fan of the trade either, but his resentment didn’t run as deep as Lada’s did. 

“Why don’t we get back to the topic at hand?” Lada clapped her talons together and stood back up, gesturing for Nikolai to come closer. “We can practice a piece from принц огня, if you would like?” 

принц огня was an Alkonost tale from the old country about an Alkonost Prince with red, gold, and violet plumage who discovered he had the ability to control fire. Most people chalked it up that he was a phoenix mixed into the nest, but it was still one of Nikolai's favorite stories to listen to when he was a hatchling—only because he saw so much of himself in the Prince. Not to mention that both of them had received ill-fated prophecies about how they were destined for greatness, although the Prince's ended off on a much more tragic note. From what the text said, his magic cost him the life of his loved one, and although his powers brought great change for the Alkonosts, his grief over his partner's death drove him into utter despair. The story ended off with the Prince becoming nothing but a wandering hermit who sang a mournful ballad, much to many's chagrin. Alkonosts rarely felt, but when they did feel, they felt with their entire being, and the Prince's story showed how dire the consequences of this could be. 

Gathering himself, Nikolai frowned at Lada's abrupt change of topic, but nodded his head regardless. In the end, it was best to focus on lessons rather than politics. 

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"You seem preoccupied." Rishika's voice all but purred in Nikolai's ear as she settled herself beside him, tucking her feathers in as she did so. The sunlight filtering between the tree leaves and into the courtyard caused Nikolai to squint a bit as he turned his head to address her. She was looking rather smug this morning. 

"What did you do now?" Rishika, for all she was worth, was quite notorious for inciting a bit of trouble wherever she went. Nikolai had found this out himself when they met in high school, which he so fondly called the 'Incident'. She became a close friend of his after the 'Incident' occurred. She also became a fast enemy of the two students; they ended up getting expelled, although Nikolai was more responsible for that outcome. Not that anyone would say that, of course.

Rishika had the audacity to look offended at his question for just a moment, before a wide grin split across her face. "I got the dog girl—Aileen, I think her name was?—to loan me some of her assignments for cheap. At least now I'll finally get what McCal is talking about in their statistics classes." 

"Did you blackmail her or something?" Another more disapproving tone interjected before Nikolai could get a word in. A flash of raven-black feathers indicated the arrival of Faust, who promptly settled himself into his usual position on Nikolai's right. Rishika shook her head vigorously.

"Hardly! I just needed to ask, and she was more than obliging." She tutted a bit before closing her eyes. "Sometimes simply asking is the best way."

"She was probably terrified." Nikolai's own lips twitched into a grin as he surveyed the courtyard. "You're a rather intimidating person, even when you aren't trying to be." 

The courtyard was less busy than usual, which was odd. The last gasps of the summer months often drew everyone to the outdoors in a bid to bask in the warmth before the long winter set in. Nikolai knew for a fact that he wasn't too eager to have to bundle up again, hence why he was out here. His body was naturally warm and to be wrapped in scarves and blankets was near-torture for him. This didn't seem to be the same case for others. Besides the flock of Alkonosts, there was a wyvern, a fae, a faun, and a few groups of various other species dispersed among the trees. 

"Well, I'm rather flattered by that declaration, Nikolai." Rishika rested a talon on her chest as she sent him a rueful smirk. "It's the closest thing to a compliment you've ever given." 

Now it was Faust's turn to give a scoff as he leaned back on the picnic bench, focusing his attention skywards. Nikolai followed his gaze to the windows of the North Courtyard. The university itself was impressive, but the architecture was truly a marvel. Given that the university was an old castle generously loaned by a few nobles, the mixture of gothic arches with Edwardian flair was breathtaking when first seen. After several classes and near breakdowns, though, Nikolai deduced that it lost a bit of its charm. 

He was about to prod Faust to see what was on his mind—presumably, something to do with James—but a flash of colours in one of the windows caught his attention first. The figure that the colour belonged to seemed to pause and look towards them, as though they knew they were being observed. Nikolai's smile grew broader as he leaned forward, taking in their still form. Alkonosts had wonderful sight-another perk of their natural predation- and Nikolai could see every detail of their observer's face. He leaned to his right and jabbed his elbow sharply into Faust's side, gesturing to the observer. 

"It seems like we have an audience." Faust focused his attention to where Nikolai had indicated, and arched an eyebrow in response. 

Nikolai, in return, leaned forward further and shot a rather exaggerated wink and kiss to where the observer stood, prompting Faust to let out a chuckle. The observer seemed to bristle at the attention and hurry off, leaving Nikolai to watch their form disappear past the remaining few windows. 

"Was that necessary?" Faust asked, closing his eyes again. 

"Well, I strive to make our audiences feel welcomed. Besides," Nikolai paused and looked between his two friends. "Do any of you recognize what that was?"

Both Rishika and Faust shook their heads. None of the flock seemed able to assign what species their mysterious observer belonged to, leaving Nikolai feeling unsatisfied. Hopefully, he'd run into the observer at a closer proximity. 

They were interesting, and interesting things were something that Nikolai always strived to collect.

[moviemagistrate]

ONCE UPON A TIME…IN HOLLYWOOD review

ONCE UPON A TIME…IN HOLLYWOOD is my favorite movie of the 2010’s. 

I’ll give you a minute to put your recently-blown mind back together.

So why do I love this movie so much? The overall response to Quentin Tarantino’s supposedly penultimate opus has been very positive if not rapturous, but I’ve seen some surprisingly lukewarm and even negative reviews, with people criticizing it for being slow, meandering, lacking in depth or *shudder* boring. Obviously the quality of any movie is subjective, as I’m quick to remind anyone who hates Michael Bay movies, but I honestly don’t understand people who dislike OUATIH. Maybe it’s a matter of expectations, because I didn’t know how to feel about the film for much of the first time I watched it either.

The year is 1969, a time of great political and cultural change in the country and in the entertainment industry. The star-driven films of yesteryear are giving way to grittier, artsier, more auteur-driven works as we primarily follow Rick Dalton (Leonardo DiCaprio), former star of a popular cowboy show whose failed attempt to start an A-list movie career has left him relying on guest spots as TV villains-of-the-week to stay afloat. This is wonderfully laid out in the opening scene where he meets casting director Marvin Schwarz (Al Pacino, easily his best role since JACK & JILL), who lays out Rick’s lowering hierarchical status (“Who’s gonna kick the shit out of you next week? How about Batman & Robin? PING. POW”), while offering him an opportunity to be a leading-man again in Italian pictures.

Tagging along is Rick’s best, and maybe only, friend Cliff Booth (Brad Pitt), Rick’s go-with-the-flow stunt-double who in the slowdown of Rick’s career has effectively become his driver and gofer, as well as Rick’s sole source of emotional support. Rick is also neighbors with Sharon Tate (Margot Robbie), the beautiful young actress and wife of then-superstar director Roman Polanski (whose inclusion in the film is minimal and handled tastefully), as she lives out her idyllic life, beloved by those around her like the ray of sunshine she was in real life. Her gated, hillside home looms over Rick’s, as he ponders aloud about how even meeting her the right way could resurrect his career.

For almost two-and-a-half hours, we follow these three characters as they just live out their lives, Rick nursing hangovers and having emotional breakdowns in front of his 8-year-old co-star on set while contemplating his future, Cliff going where the wind blows him while taking care of his adorable and highly-trained dog, and Sharon as she drives around Old Hollywood, spends time with her friends, and sneaks into a matinee showing of one of her movies, her eyes and infectious smile beaming with pride when the audience laughs at her comedic timing and cheers her martial-arts prowess.

I think it’s safe to say it’s not the film any of us were expecting from Quentin Tarantino. Having only made loud, gory, over-the-top genre pastiches for the last 15 years, you’d expect from the trailers for this to be about an actor and his sexy stunt-double getting mixed up with the Manson family before teaming up with Bruce Lee to save Sharon Tate from her horrific real-life fate, mixed with the filmmaker’s usual self-indulgent homages to films of yesteryear. While some of this is true to some extent, it’s surprisingly a much more relaxed, easygoing dramedy that follows a trio of funny, charismatic people as they just…exist, as people living in the moment instead of relics.

OUATIH is much more concerned with atmosphere, character, and capturing the feeling of a bygone era than the traditional narrative structure. It’s more effective than pretty much every nostalgia trip movie I've ever seen because you can feel Tarantino's affection for this era of his childhood bleed through every character, car, song, radio advertisement, TV show, background poster, etc. It’s through this meticulous level of detail and willingness to just hang out with these characters and take in this world that he reconstructed, Tarantino successfully resurrects the era in all its 35mm glory, but with the knowing twinge of real-world melancholy.

I guess the reason I love it so much is because the love that Tarantino has for everything and everyone in it is so tangible that it’s infectious. Watching OUATIH I honestly felt like I understood him better as both a filmmaker and as a person. He shows a level of restraint and maturity I haven’t seen since JACKIE BROWN. Even most of his trademark foot fetishizing is tasteful and subdued (I say “most” because I recall at least three close-ups of actresses’ feet that definitely made him a bit sweaty behind the camera). He’s a weird, shameless nerd with a big ego, but he’s 100% sincere about expressing his love for film and its rich history. And it’s this love, and the skill and style with which it’s expressed, that just put a big smile on my face each of the 6 (SIX) times that I’ve seen it since it came out. 

Tarantino offers a tantalizing contrast between reality and fantasy. Throughout the film, as the characters of Hollywood live in their own idyllic world, relaxing in pools or driving around in bitchin’ cars, we also see the disquieting eeriness and griminess of the Manson family. The soundtrack and accompanying old-timey commercials for tanning butter or Mug Root Beer that plays through a lot of the film is a joy to listen to, but we also hear news bulletins of the war in Vietnam or the aftermath of the Bobby Kennedy assassination. You could argue this is just to set the scene for the era, but it feels too deliberate, because even after that joyously fantastical ending, we remember that it was just a fairy tale and real life didn’t turn out as pleasantly. Tarantino’s ability to make his world and characters so meticulously detailed and lived-in works to great effect in instilling a bittersweet melancholy to this film in a way I was really taken aback by. It feels like a window into his soul, someone who yearns for the fantasy of the world he grew up in but remembering that not all good things last and not everything in your nostalgic past was good to begin with.

One beautiful, spellbinding scene is Rick and Cliff coming back from their excursion into the world of Italian filmmaking. In this montage, we see Rick, Cliff and Rick’s new Italian wife arriving at the airport and driving home before unpacking their baggage, interspersed with Sharon Tate welcoming a guest at her home and having lunch, before cutting to a series of shots of famous LA landmarks like Grauman's Chinese Theatre, Taco Bell, and Der Wienerschnitzel all meticulously resurrected in their retro glory as they light up the night. “Baby, baby, baby you’re out of time”, sings Mick Jagger as we’re watching multiple stories about people who are each embodying those words: Rick’s career, his friendship with Cliff, Sharon Tate, and Hollywood itself.

Tarantino himself feels like one of the last mainstream auteur filmmakers, as well as one of the last and biggest proponents of shooting large-budget movies on film (even Scorsese’s embraced digital now, the fantastically-talented traitor). And with the rise of streaming services, one can’t help but feel like the movie-going experience itself is also becoming obsolete, especially recently, what with theaters going to war with distributors over fucking TROLLS: WORLD TOUR, not to mention that global pandemic we’ve been having lately all but killing general audiences’ enthusiasm for the movie theater experience (Christopher Nolan’s TENET certainly didn’t help). If all these things, both real and fictional, are indeed out of time, then at least with Tarantino’s penultimate film they get one hell of a bittersweet sendoff, a great time that’s more of an Irish wake than a funeral, and it’s a film I have no issue calling a truly introspective, late-career masterpiece.

And that’s without mentioning uniformly incredible cast. Leo DiCaprio, an actor I normally don’t care too much for, gives the best and funniest performance of his career as a dependent prima donna actor clinging to his remaining fame. Brad Pitt earns the hell out of his Oscar as an embodiment of old-school masculinity and charisma with an amazing set of abs (and everything else) whose outward coolness masks his mysterious past and complete badass-ness. Margot Robbie shines in her depiction of Tate, a beacon of warmth and likability who in many ways symbolized the love and carefree attitudes of the swingin’ 60’s. I’ve heard people criticize her character for not having a lot of dialogue, but to me it feels like they’re ignoring the visual storytelling, which just gives way to them assuming the film is sexist just because the female lead isn’t constantly monologuing. Every member of the supporting cast is memorable with their own quirks and great lines, no matter their screentime.

And of course, it wouldn’t be a Tarantino joint without some truly hilarious and shocking violence, and without going into spoiler territory, the last 20 minutes delivers on this promise to such a degree that I feel comfortable calling it the best thing he’s ever done. Some may decry the climax as unnecessary or over-the-top, but the way it leads to an alternate world while subtly acknowledging what happened in the real one is cathartic beyond belief. And if you’re paying attention, every scene in the movie has been quietly building towards this finale, which to me takes away any potential of feeling meandering in the story. If you saw the movie and didn’t much care for it, I recommend giving it another watch. Having the context ahead of time makes it feel so much more rewarding, and even on the fifth watch I’m noticing clever, subtle set-ups I missed beforehand.

It’s also just super cozy and really easy to watch. The two hours and 45 minutes fly by. I could watch a 4-hour version of this.

Quentin, if you’re reading this, please don’t let your last movie be Star Trek.