#Desiree was mad at him

[nelkcats]

Quacked up

Danny never thought that Desiree was serious on her threats, or at least the threats that had to do with "turning him into a duck and abandoning him in another dimension."

But it seems that even ghost genies had their limits, because the third time he "ruined her plans," she made good on her threat. Danny wasn't worried about Amity, Team Phantom could take care of that just fine.

He was more concerned about his webbed feet and duckbill. Plus the fact that he showed up in the middle of a warehouse occupied by mobsters, although the supposed mobsters were more involved in trying to catch him (were his ears wrong or had he heard an "aww"?) than killing him. One of them even named him "Duck Hood."

Jason didn't know how to feel watching all his employees chase a duck. It was a weird duck, with glowing green eyes (was it possible for a duck to dive into the pits??), and he was sure he saw it float by at some point, but at least his "lair" was a little more lively.

He wondered if he should give it to Damian or keep it.

[tanglepelt]

Dp x dc idea thing. 44

Someone says the forbidden words. I wish. Now it was a child’s wish. I wish we all were with our familles. One meant to be nice.

A ghost attack had caused the collapse of a roof. The child was just happened to be in a room with the trio. Danny hadn’t even had the chance to transform.

As Desiree twists her wishes. The worst thing for Danny happened. You see he was adopted. After he failed a mission for the league rather then return he noped out of there. Granted the mission was set up to fail. He overheard his twin discussing it with mother.

Being adopted by two mad scientists at 6 was the biggest reason they never found out he survived. The Fentons were astonished by his story. Helped hide him and forged new papers. Quickly accepting him as their own son. The family had no social media presence minus the Fentonwork site, no mentions of children.

Rather then be returned to the Fentons a green portal dumped him in the middle of a grand dinning room. A ton of blue eyed black haired people eating dinner. The one that stood out was the one with green eyes.

Nope.

No

No way

Well then the green eyed one lunges at him.

Okay maybe.

When he starts yelling about impersonating his dead twin. How dare grandfather clone him. Honestly he wasn’t listening until he spoke of killing all the other clones.

Yup. That was Damian.

If vlad could make clones he has no doubt grandfather could. For all he knows vlad could have handed the info over to him for some of the rancid ectoplasm they had at the base.

He knew the truth now.

The Lazarus pits was just remnants from the river of revulsion. It’s a wonder they brought anyone back.

Honestly Damian charging him was a pain. Danny didn’t even know how his twin suddenly had a sword. Getting cut was enough of that. This was a dinning room not a training room. He was just going to have to dine and dash.

He really needs to thank jazz and sam for getting him back into physical training. He enjoyed not worrying about it 24/7. Then the whole dying had to happen. As such he got back into it. This was starting to tire him out.

From the lack of people getting out of the way. They must be used to this chaos. The look in there eyes indicated they were going to get involved. Honestly he’d rather not.

Realistically he doesn’t think Damian would be able to find him. The fentons and then tucker have helped to conceal him. By all accounts his past life never existed. Only Daniel Fenton did. Amity was a nowhere town mostly hidden by the government anyways. The whole ghost thing was meant to stay secret.

They didn’t want people poking around there.

Danny was aware it just helped hide him so why expose it. Tucker sam and jazz knew. They all could bypass it.

With a sigh and a wave of his hand he froze them in place.

“Let all just cool down here. Damian i have and had no intentions of ever seeing you again. But genies like to twist wishes unfortunately. Desiree just had to screw me over specifically to get me out of town.”

“For all i care keep your title as heir, I’m much happier playing dead. I’m already half way there. Don’t look for me. You get to be the superior twin”

“No need for late night plots on how to kill me or prove yourself. Enjoy. I have friends and family to get back to.”

With a snap of his finger a green portal opened in front of Danny.

“The ice will disappear in five minutes or so. If i remember to unfreeze it” grabbing one of the rolls on the table. Danny left through the portal.

What Danny didn’t know was his twin had been trying to find ways around the botched mission. Grandfather has only wanted one heir. Easiest way to get that was to dispose of the youngest.

[wandixx]

Justice League never helped Amity Park.

Why?

They genuinely didn't need any help, it was one of the most normal and safe town in America.

Other than Jack Fenton on the road hazard but it's not like he can break walls with his orange jeep, is it? It's too little to get JL on it.

Okay, so what does Phantom do right outside of the Watchtower drinking Capri sun? Is it related to how horrified Flash is, running around meeting room like he tries to wear down the floor?

Why yes, absolutely. You see dear traveler, Ghost child is just not from this timeline.

He is from the other one. The intense one. The one, where Amazonians were at war with Atlanteans, where there was no line Batman wouldn't cross, where doctors Fenton didn't stop their research after their dearest friend had accident.

Yeah, that's the one. One that Barry created by saving his mother and the one he allegedly destroyed.

How do they tell the stressed ghost child that timeline he lived in ceased to exist?

*~*~*

Maybe I'm not clear enough but yeah. Phantom is from other timeline but as I heard, Dan shoved time medalion into Danny's chest so now our boi has wonky relationship with time. When Barry erased "wrong timeline", Danny got yote into his time and was confused. Like, one day he wakes up in the middle of the nowhere because of some shit and isn't even surprised at first but then realises something is off. Especially when he gets to the nearest town. Things are all sorts of wrong, like:

There is less ambient ectoplasm in the air.

Meme references are just not right.

There is no supernatural war.

Nobody is trying to post mortem murder him for being a ghost.

There are a lot more heroes and the ones he knew are different, like, why is Batman suddenly so much against killing?

So he goes of to find Amity and see which one's of the ghosts bullshit he has to clean up this time, only to see his city... Normal? Happy even? No broken pavements or anti ghost tech? No teenage stans? No alive food? His parents are more of the local handymen than mad scientists?! There is SECOND HIM, who isn't a ghost in the slightest?!

WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED AND HOW DOES HE FIX IT?!

Because yeah, this world seems nicer than real one, but he just can't stay here. Ghosts are probably wrecking havoc in his Amity again and he needs to get back now.

Just question is how, because it starts to look like whole new world and not some weird hallucination or Desiree doing her shit again. However so much things is similar that he assumes it's different timeline. He dealt with these before, once, but he managed. He just needed to find this Clockwork guy that showed up last time and learn what he has to do to fix it.

Wait, his parents here didn't made portal and Vlad didn't either because they're actually kind of trisome (ew) and he didn't have enough time. That's alright, Danny was raised in the shadow of the portal, he knew everything about it by heart. He could built it on his own.

Wait, portal needs and sacrifice. Can he use this world's himself as a sacrifice? He could probably ask these heroes for help but on the other hand he really doesn't want to do this to him. Being Phantom majorly sucks ass and he is jealous but he knows better than to destroy other his life over it.

Before he can resolve his dilemma, something he does pings Justice League's radar and Flash is send to investigate. Thank ancients it's him because allegedly other heroes wouldn't really get it. But it was Flash who somehow gets at least part of it, gives him a food and takes him to the space station (in space!). Now they have meeting about him and he has best view of stars he could ever imagine. Even though they're a little different than he remembers from back home.

.

Hope you enjoyed this little idea and maybe can add to the shenanigans. Comments and reblogs are whole yours.

I hope I'm englishing correctly and won't see too many spelling or grammatical mistakes when I wake up in the morning

Have a great whatever part of day it is to you

[captainofthetidesbreath]

I LOVE accusing every single character of being a Breach collaborator without ANY regard for whether it makes sense or whether it's likely. Hell, it's almost better if it makes absolutely no sense and isn't all that likely, since this is entirely for my own amusement. But, some of them do make at least a bit of sense, and that's also so fun to think about. Ever since the Hieronymous drop, I've just been randomly pointing fingers at any character we don't yet know either way, and coming up with reasons that would be interesting or funny or how it might work, for funsies.

Jedediah Pom? He's extremely well-placed as a member of the media, and I'm constantly suspicious of how closely he watches everything, even with considering his job. Backpack? She always seems to be in the oddest places, and I would not be surprised if information was coming through her—knowingly or unknowingly. Kozma? Would fit in with her (horrifying) propensity to "collect" people and could function as a kind of first-look deal (awful).

Agatha Ledge? I feel like the gap between her Incendiary Imaging Device and Breach stuff can be very small if you lay the cards down right, no, I cannot explain (but a mad scientist-type who changes sides because they're unhappy with their pay or access is always great). One of Imelda's brunch group (Penny, Gert, Lucille, Desiree, Maeve)? The BETRAYAL! Olga Costigan? Extremely unlikely, but it would make Spahr's life worse in a specific way that is funny to only me. Gretel? Actually, this would be pretty great because she worked directly under Spahr, and also this would make Spahr handing off Hieronymous to her at the hotel really funny.

Arno Delagny? Maybe we should be questioning why so many former employees of the Delagney Hotel at the Vantage have Breached. Imogen Loxlee, Milton Fleit Sr.? Just imagine the chaos of that for a second. The Miravette twins? They clearly need something better to do with their time and sedition might be it. Melinda Crowne? She IS a friend of Sherman's and Emmet's mother. Spahr's parents that I assume he has? Again, would stress him out so much in a way that is funny to me specifically. Speaker Corsovia, Ambassador Isadore Riley? We don't know anything about either of them for this to mean anything, so why not.

It's genuinely so fun for me to just be constantly like: today's Breach collaborator is [spins wheel]

[era-the-witchy-birdkid]

DP X DC Prompt/Idea

Long time writer for the DC fandom (mostly Batman specifically Tim Drake joins the batfam early AUs and Titans Tower AU) on Archive, Danny Fenton also known as Astroboy2025, decides three days after his ‘Accident’ to create a Jason wakes up a Halfa in his coffin fic. He only does this to help himself process his emotions after well lets be honest his death and revival. And later once the ghost attacks pick up and he picks up the mantle of a hero as a way to covertly get advice/figure out on how to fight ghosts better by transplanting all his ghosts into Gotham for Fic!Jason to fight.

Danny wasn’t expecting much to come from this, he wasn’t expecting the fic to blow up in popularity for ‘creative storylines’ and ‘unique original villains with a ghostly flare to go against the ghostly Robin now named Phantom’ it was just a vent fic with a bit of wishful thinking on his part with Ghost!Jason and Bruce's relationship being so close (He ends up writing Jason getting hugs and affirmations that Bruce still loves despite all the ghost stuff that happening now whenever his Parents go on a tirade about how all ghosts are evil and need to be ripped apart molecule by molecule)

He definitely wasn't expecting his fans to find out about the real Phantom and figure out his identity from there. (Blame Penelope Spectra she had a history unlike the others in his rogues gallery with a bloody trail across America of sharply increase Suicide rates in more isolated smaller cites/large towns that was being tracked by Redditers that had hard stopped in Amity park just a few days before he dropped the chapter of Jason facing her himself)

While the Amity Park tourism to see a IRL Hero in action, and the Anti-Ecto acts Riots, as they would later be called, made by DC fans throwing a fit about the threat to the world’s first superhero were the lesser consequence in the grand scheme of things. Finding his fan Discord was a trip and a half especially since Tucker had to hack into it into the first place because his fans we're extremely protective of his secret ID and reinforced the server a crapton to be stronger then most banks.

While Sam was insisting on this being a horrible Idea and he should try to dissuade his thousands of fans from the truth of his Identy. Danny was just chill with it after the brief panic. And the Fan Discord was super helpful for getting Advce with! while the jokes that he was Batman Adoption bait was annoying the group was amazing for ideas on how to train his powers and advice on how to better fight ghosts. the Discord even make a Power list for him so he wouldn’t forget a power because he wasn’t training it. plus the comfort they gave after Circus Gothica was A+ even with the jokes about how the Batfam curse of clown trauma, despite matching the look as a human batman isn’t real so as much as his fans joke about him being the prefect Bat bait that will not happen.

To bad after a particularly nasty ghost hate rant in front of him in ghost form while being shot at by his parents that before the server would spawn 3 chapters of Family fluff in his fic, was whatched angrily by a fan who in a fit of annoyed rage said these words. “I really wish batman WAS real, then maybe you could be safe in your home for once”

unfortunately Desiree was out and about and heard the wish granted she had no idea who Batman was so went to read the DC comics after that. Good news the DC universe is so messed up as is that Desiree decided no twisting was necessary she’d just to bring everything to life. Bad news all the supervillains now exist along side the now existing superheros and Desiree is now Kaiju sized and now way to powerful for Danny to deal with alone... 

At least the now real Batfam are taking their sudden existence well? and are willing to help Danny stop the Mad Genie dispite the risk that they would pop into nonexistence (with the entire city of Gotham and the other cities, villains, and heroes made real by Desiree’s power) if she’s stopped

[stealingyourbones]

Danny has been adopted by the waynes for a month or so now and they've noticed something about him

For some reason, danny seems afraid of the word wish and no one can figure out why until one of them says i wish i could've met your parents to bruce

Danny shouts no as green fog swirls "so it is desired so it shall be" as the fog disapates there's 2 extra figures standing in the room

A tall mad dressed as batman except he has stubble and his bat suit is different and his bat is backed by red

And a woman dressed as the joker

Basically a bat kid makes a wish and desiree grants it bringing the flash point bruce wayne and martha wanye to there world

Great excuse for me to take a quick read of all of the Flashpoint comics I have one sec.... ok uh wow. So even Bruce would have killed Thomas with the amount of shit he's done (So so so much murder. Mainly of his own damn team mates). The Robin in that universe is Harvey Dent's Kid, Dexter (Harvey was brutally murdered). Dexter asked The Penguin of that universe to teach him how to shoot a gun. Hell yeah kiddo you go. Martha is more so or even more insane than Joker, causing so sosososo many deaths of main characters that are normally repeating characters in other universes. Martha would cause a new dark age in Gotham of lawlessness and fear. Thomas would murder without a thought. Sometimes You shouldn't meet your heroes.

[honeybunniii333]

(SORRY I'VE BEEN DEAD! Also i just realized I never see content for Dez and Ed. Like they have a sibling like relationship (even tho they're cousins), and they're supposedly really close in Canon! But I never saw anything for them, and I decided that needed to be fixed. SO! Here ya go!)

Again, her dad was in the hospital again. It had gotten to where he was there more than home, and that was scary and awful in its own right. But now, because of the sudden dip in his health. He can't take her to their yearly concert! They've gone to one every year since she was four, and it was her favorite part of the summer. They'd already bought their tickets and everything... and then he started getting sick again. Bad enough to land him in the hospital two days before they were supposed to leave... Dez was angry, to say the least. NOT at her dad. She knew better than anyone that the last thing the man ever wanted was to break his little girl's heart. She was mad at life for making this happen. Mad at the cancer for making her poor dad so sick and weak. He didn't deserve this. She felt so lost, so out of control. She didn't know what to do, she had to do something. She was SO tired of feeling powerless. She didn't even think about it as she grabbed the scissors from the counter.

Horror, she felt true horror as she looked in the mirror. Her hair, her pretty hair, was all over the floor and the sink. Oh god, what had she done... her knees buckled, and she sank to the ground, scissors long abandoned on the counter as she cried and wiped at her face. Her eyes were sore, and her throat was raw. She wanted her dad, but he was not there. And someday, probably soon, he'd never be there again, and that thought just made her cry harder. Dez was an independent person generally. She didn't like being genuinely reliant on anyone, but right now, she'd throw her pride aside for some comfort. Her head shot up at the sound of the almost totally open door, creaking the rest of the way open and a startled gasp following it. Someone stood in the doorway, eyes wide, and God did that make her crumble even further. But this time, there were arms wrapping around her, pulling her close and nails, raking through what remained of her hair. She buried her face into their chest and just let herself cry. She cried and cried until she couldn't seem to muster any more tears.

"Dez..." Ed's quiet response came after a moment or two of prolonged silence. "Desiree, talk to me." he insisted when he got nothing but a sniffle in response, pulling her back by the shoulders to get a good look at her. He frowned a bit and brushed some hair off of her cheek. "I..." She choked out. "Oh god, what did I do... my hair..." She sniffled, trying not to cry again. "Hey, hey..." he hushed "Cmon tell me what's up." he reminded as he pulled her with him to rest against the sink cabnit. Still supporting her with an arm around the shoulder. "I... Dad is sick again." She whispered, and he seemed to understand almost immediately. "Yeah..he is..." he nodded solemly.

"I miss him.." She added, closing her eyes and resting against the strong weight beside her. "I know ya do... he misses ya, too." he reminded, and she couldn't help but smile sadly at that. "He's not coming home anytime soon... and this week was.. supposed to be our concert week." She struggled to get her words out with that feeling bubbling up in her throat again. The feeling that everything was falling apart, Edward just squeezed her shoulder in response. "Yeah Tiá was talking about that earlier this week... you guys go every year..."

"Yeah... and now we can't... " she choked harshly but pushed on. "I know it's dumb. I know he can't help it. It's not that big a deal it just.. it kinda made me realize that there's a good chance that we won't get to do a lot of stuff together, and I don't know... I just cracked, and now my hair is a mess, and I'm a mess.. everything's a mess..." She wiped at her eyes furiously as she spoke. "That's alright." He seemed to have decided. "It's okay to be a little bit of a mess sometimes..." And Dez briefly caught herself thinking about how Ed should probably take that sentiment to heart as well. "And I wouldn't say your hair is a mess..." he laughed a little, moving a bit to get a better look. "it's a bit choppy, yeah... but I don't think it looks bad on ya!" she seemed rather skeptical as she glanced up at the older boy. "Really?"

"Yeah! Just needs a bit of touch up, here..." he insisted, pulling her up and directing her to the mirror as he grabbed the scissors that had been discarded on the counter and immediately started cutting away. "Hey!" she tensed a bit, "Just trust me, Dez." he sighed with a roll of his eyes, and soon he set them back down. "See..?" she was a bit scared to look up at first but slowly she opened her eyes (which she hadn't really registered squeezing shut until now) and... he was right... it wasn't awful. "It'll take a little gettin used to, it is a big change." he hummed, fluffing her hair up a bit to check the length. "But I think you might end up liking it... and if you don't... it's just hair. It'll grow back."

She wasn't sure how to feel, standing there with a boy she'd for some reason expected to be mean when first meeting him.. it was a funny thought now. She stood there studying his work, his hands resting comfortingly on her shoulder... She didn't know how to feel, but another gentle squeeze cleared her mind. "Hey..." his voice was soft. "It'll be okay... I know it doesn't feel like it right now... everything's a bit hectic, and it's hard to see it, but... You'll be okay." And somehow, when Edward said it, it sounded a lot more believable. She couldn't help but feel better with the reminder that even when her Dad was gone. Ed would still be there... he was always there... whether she wanted or not... "Hey Eddie?" She whispered after another long pause. Ed had already gotten to cleaning up the mess she'd made. He seemed to do that a lot... "Yeah?" He hummed, not looking up from his task of sweeping up hair. "Would you wanna go to a concert this weekend?" He seemed a bit confused for a moment, but the confusion was short-lived, and he seemed to understand. He smiled fondly to himself and nodded.

"Yeah, I would."

Dez had a feeling that she'd be okay...

[eventually27]

Reader on their period

How would the evans react

The Evans, when its your time of the month..

(Mentions of blood and sex)

Tate Langdon

He'd keep checking on you to make sure you were OK.

He would sit and listen to your favourite songs with you.

Play scrabble with you to pass the time.

He would run you a bath with black rose petals, of course, and sit with you.

He would steal medication from around the house for you. He would hate seeing you in pain.

Offer you plenty of cuddles and belly rubs.

He would clean your sheets if you bled on them.

Kit Walker

He would come home from work with flowers and chocolate.

He would come home on this lunch break to check on you.

He'd cook you your favourite meal for dinner.

Before he would go to work in the morning, he would get you a hot water bottle and kiss you on the forhead.

He'd go to the shop for you whenever you needed anything.

Kyle Spencer

Pre death

He would walk you to any classes you had to go to.

He would sneak you in his dorm to cuddle you all night.

He wouldn't get mad at your mood swings, he knew you didn't mean it.

He would get snacks and watch your favourite film, even if it was a romance film.

Frankenkyle

He would be confused as to why you're moody. You would have to explain that you couldn't help it and didn't mean it.

He would be freaked out that you're bleeding and not understand why.

He would be concerned, get upset, and cuddle you.

Jimmy Darling

He would get slight ptsd from his encounter with Desiree Dupree 🫣.

He'd try his best to comfort you.

He would round up the others, and they would try to cheer you up.

He'd ride into town to get you anything you needed, day or night (as long as the show hadn't started)

Offer you alcohol to numb any pain you were in and tuck you into bed in his trailer.

James Patrick March

Has Miss Evers on standby for any bloody sheets.

He isn't bothered by a bloody mess at all. If anything, he likes it, so he wants to pleasure you.

He would arrange a nice dinner to be cooked for you in the evening.

Absinthe on had to numb the pain.

He'd shower you in gifts and jewels (even if they were from the dead)

Kai Anderson

He doesn't mind blood.

But he thinks you're weak for letting it affect your emotions.

He thinks you're denying your body of its true meaning (having a baby). Bleeding is your punishment.

He would tease you sexualy but not give anything untill you were finished.

He's unpredictable. He might occasionally show you sympathy and give you a cuddle but not for long.

But dont worry, Winter would be there to help you and offer support.

Colin Zabel

He would get you a hot water bottle and make you a coffee before he left for work.

He would text you throughout the day to check in.

Although embarrassed, he would buy you pads/tampons from the shop (not making eye contact as he bought them)

He would return from work with flowers and your favourite snacks.

He would order takeout for you, and you would watch movies and eat in bed.

You would receive all the cuddles and kisses he had to give.

He would tell him mum/mom you couldn't come over for dinner untill you were better.

[five-rivers]

Need More Than Sorrow

AO3

For @datawyrms

Everyone had things they were ashamed of.  Or, at least, they had things they should have been ashamed of, which wasn’t quite the same thing, but Danny liked to think he wasn’t quite that oblivious.  Most of the time.  

Except he’d realized that he maybe had been for a little while there.  Just a little.  

Or a lot.  

A lot, actually.  

He ran his fingers over the hem of his sweater (NASA themed, of course), and watched his friends bicker over food.  Again.  

Thing was, he could let it lie.  It had been lying for weeks, now.  Tucker hadn’t brought it up, anyway, and neither had Sam.  And… Yeah.  They didn’t seem to be mad at him for anything.

But that didn’t mean they didn’t care about it, or that it didn’t matter.  

So he should probably say something, right?  That was what you were supposed to do.  Kind of… take responsibility.  

Right?

“Danny?  Hey, Earth to Danny.”

“Huh?  What?”

“You okay, man?” asked Tucker.  

“Um,” said Danny.  “Yeah.  I’m just…  I’m sorry.”

“For what?” asked Sam, with a little scoff.  Danny wouldn’t ever tell her, but she sounded a lot like her mom when she did that.  “Getting mind controlled by an evil clown?  You deserve to zone out a bit after all that.”

Danny glanced at Tucker.  “Yeah, I guess.”

“Hey, you’re not responsible for anything you did when you were under his control.”

“Mhm, yeah.  Just, um.  Thanks for coming after me.”

“Anytime,” said Sam.  

“Yeah, we’ve got your back.”

"Thanks…"

"Now eat up." She pointed imperiously at his hamburger. "I know that weirdo didn't feed you."

Well.  She wasn't wrong.

"Hey, how come his burger gets a pass while you're slandering my Nasty Meatacular."

"Three different animals died for that crime against nature."

"Four!  It has mutton now!"

“That’s disgusting.  You’re disgusting.”

Danny took a bite of his burger.  It didn’t taste like anything.  

It would be so easy to just let them keep going.  To just… keep going.  No more.  Don’t rock things.  Don’t test things.  Don’t change things.  

He could do that quite easily.  It would be easy.  The easier path.  What did they say about easier paths again?  What did they say about good intentions?  

Oh, God.  

“Tucker?”

“Huh?  Yeah?”

“I’m sorry.”

“Hey, we told you, you don’t need to apologize for anything Freakshow made you do.  And if you did, you should apologize to Sam first.  She’s the one you pushed off a tightrope.”

“He pushed me onto the tightrope,” corrected Sam.  “I fell off all by myself.”

“It’s not about that,” said Danny.  

“Then what?” asked Sam, reaching for her soda.  “Are you going to confess to throwing up in my lunchbox in gradeschool this time?”

“No,” said Danny.  “It’s…  I shouldn’t have overshadowed you that time.  Made you… do things you didn’t want to.  I’m sorry.  I didn’t… I’m sorry.”

“Okay,” said Tucker, not looking at Danny.

“Just ‘okay?’”  Danny ducked his head, trying to get into Tucker’s line of sight.  

“What do you want me to say, Danny?  That it wasn’t that bad?  Well, it was.  It sucked.”

Danny hung his head.  “I’m sorry.”

“I know you are, man.”  Tucker laughed, humorlessly.  “Heck, you said you were sorry about me losing my date when it happened.  I just…  Priorities, Danny.  It would’ve been great if you were sorry before it happened to you.  Or, heck, after Poindexter walked off with your body that one time.  So.  Yeah.  It sucks.  It really sucks.”

“I shouldn’t have done it.  I never should have done it.  It was stupid and cruel and…  Selfish.”

“Yep.  Sure was.”

“If Danny is apologizing, I probably should, too,” said Sam.  Why went unsaid, but it wasn’t as if they hadn’t all been there.

“Is there anything I can do to- to make up for things?”

“Not really.  I mean.  I overshadowed people, too, don’t forget.  The whole Desiree thing.”

“You were kind of being mind controlled during that, too.”

“Yeah.”  Tucker picked at his fries.  “I’m getting real sick of all this mind control.  I mean, you’ve got all this stuff.  All this… People controlling where you go, what you do.  You should at least be able to think what you want.  And what you do.  What you actually do, even if you’re being forced.  It’s not right.  You get me?”

“I guess I just didn’t think about it.”

“Of course you didn’t.  I love you, man, but you’re so white.”

“Sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry about that.  Jeez.  Just chill, okay?  It’s not like I’ve never been stupid about your powers.  Let’s just… drop it.  And not do it again.”

“That sounds like a deal,” said Sam.  “Do we want dessert?  I want dessert.  I’m going to get some dessert.”  She stood up.  “God, this is awkward.”

Tucker sipped loudly at his drink.  “It is pretty awkward.”

“I thought we were dropping it.” 

Tucker threw a french fry at Danny.  

[masked-kitsune]

Danny Phantom Separate au

In this au Danny and Phantom are two separate entities. The two made a deal during Danny's portal accident. Danny was given a few basic powers, mainly intangiblity and invisibility. Phantom is the banished son of Paraih Dark. Phantom was starting to fade when Danny encountered him in the newly active portal. The two were both dying and struck a desperate deal to help each survive and so Phantom's core turned into an amulet that Danny now wears around his neck allowing the two to switch places quickly with their usual transformation. It's sorta like a Yami and Yugi situation for the two of them.

•Sam and Tucker actually don't know about Danny and Phantom being two separate beings, they assumed they're the same since Danny always wears the amulet and he never bothered to correct them. They're proven wrong about this assumption during memory blank

•Identity crisis was the result of the two fighting. The Fenton ghost catcher gave the two enough charge to be separated with some issues

•Danny learns that he and Phantom can temporarily turn into the other with enough of an ectoplasmic charge

•Danny could tell something was off about Phantom during the circus Gothica incident but didn't immediately chalk it up to mind control until Lancer was locked in a closet.

•Memory blank caused them to lose their connection which in turn caused them to lose their memories alongside the tampering of Desiree with her magic due to the wish Sam made. They had to relearn a few things especially after Sam made her counter wish

•Dani was the result of Vlad trying to clone Danny without knowing that he and Phantom weren't the same person which resulted in Dani and the other clones being extremely unstable

•Vlad is still a halfa due to his ectoacne

•Dan is the result of Phantom being corrupted when Vlad stole the amulet off Danny during the events of the ultimate enemy and the halfa trying to use the amulet. Danny tried to save Phantom which resulted in the teen's death, Vlad's ghost half being absorbed into the amulet and a weakened Phantom being overwhelmed and absorbed by the evil ghost half.

•Clockwork eventually removed the time medallion from Danny's chest

•Clockwork is Phantom's other parent and ends up as a father figure/mentor to Danny

•Danny becomes part ghost due to Phantom

•Phantom shows some of his real power during his fight against Paraih Dark since he manages to briefly send Amity Park back to the real world from the ghost zone. The fight took a toll on both Phantom and Danny. It was more of an emotional toll for Phantom while the physical toll went to Danny

•Phantom remembers bits and pieces of his life in the ghost zone. Phantom is 1400 in human years and is 14 in ghost years

•Paraih went mad due to a poisoning attempt by an observatant when one made a bid for power after sealing Clockwork in the clock tower with a powerful artifact alongside Phantom. He was told his husband and son were lost and in his grief drank the blood blossom wine that ended with him going mad and leading to him needing to be sealed. The observatants cast the traitor into the deepest darkest parts of the ghost zone as punishment

•Phantom leans all of this via Clockwork

•Thunderstorms are hard on both Phantom and Danny

•Phantom was poisoned in a ghostly assassination attempt

•Skulker was hired by said assassin at first and then by Vlad

•Phantom being the prince was kept a secret from the rest of the zone except for Frostbite in the far frozen

•Danny keeps the amulet tucked in his shirt to avoid his parents equipment from pin pointing it

•The Fenton parents don't know about either portal incident

[Feel free to add more to this. It'll be interesting seeing what others come up with including crossovers, just nothing too extreme]

[gooretrait]

A quick phone called to Misael and he and Fern rushed to the hospital, Desiree dropping Fern off and only driving away after the latter swore that Misael was on his way and would be there shortly. Desiree wasn't convinced, but she trusted Fern and made her promise that if she needed anything at all then just give her a call and she would come back to the hospital with no hesitation.

"Mrs Robles! We've been expexting-"

"Connors."

The receptionist was taken a aback at being interrupted. "Sorry?"

"I'm divorced. It's Ms Connors." Fern wasn't in the mood to launch into a blow by blow account of everything that happened. She just wanted her babies to be born and for the agonising contractions to stop.

"Of course," the receptionist responded swiftly. "My apologies, Ms Connors. We'll get you onto the ward immediately."

Silently grateful that the receptionist seemed to have immediately understood that she wasn't going to discuss her private life, Fern sat in the waiting room for a few minutes until her obstetrician and midwife arrived to take her to the ward she'd be giving birth on. She couldn't help but notice that Misael hadn't arrived yet, but given the traffic that usually clogged up the roads from his workplace back to his home she didn't want to look too deeply into it.

"So you remember what we discussed in your appointments?" the midwife asked, pulling on a pair of blue, latex gloves while the obstetrician prepped the birthing machine.

"The machine will do the hard part?"

The midwife smiled. "Exactly. I'll be right here with you to support and help in whatever way I can. Whenever you're ready, give us the heads up and we'll get started."

Fern angled her head the best she could to look back at the door. Still no Misael. She was about to ask if they could wait a little longer for him but a other wave of contractions crashed down on her as she yelled out in pain. The babies were coming whether Misael was there or not. It broke her heart all over again knowing that he wasn't going to get there in time to see his babies being born. She wanted to believe that it was the traffic holding him up, but after all the lies he'd told and the way he'd treated her she wasn't sure what to believe.

Once the contraction had passed, Fern glanced at her midwife. "It's time."

With that, her obstetrician started up the machine. "Remember your breathing techniques and to only push when we tell you to. The machine will monitor everything and help the babies out if intervention is needed. You're doing great so far, Fern."

The baker nodded, the pain making forming proper responses feel too much like a chore. The moment her midwife gave her the go ahead, she began to push and after what felt like hours of pushing and Misael being awol, the twins arrived.

Side note that I'm still super mad at the bug where whoever you take to the hospital with you to give birth just leaves immediately unless they're a member of your household 🫤 I had Misael come to the hospital with Fern and he disappeared. Tried to invite him over and he never showed up. In the end I had to just roll with it and try and work it into the story.

I'm also really bad at writing birth scenes! I get v uncomfortable writing about that kind of thing bc I genuinely have a fear of being pregnant and giving birth but I wanted to show the twins being born so I did my best!

[kai-anderson-whore]

You promised yourself you'd never (jimmy darling x pregnant wife reader)

Summary: you and Jimmy have been married for years and are now starting a family of your own but with the heartbreak that's happened at the freak show takes its toll on your husband

Warnings: angst, alcohol abuse, labour, childbirth, mentions of death

A/n: jimmy darling got the most votes on the poll a fee days ago I'll post the next fic in the upcoming days enjoy

•¤❅¤•.•°˚˚°•..•°˚˚°•.•¤❅¤•.•¤❅¤•.•°˚˚°•. .•°˚˚°

To say things in the freakshow have been weird this past year is an understatement elsa is now on her way to fulfilling her dream of becoming a star with the help of Stanley but you didn't trust it call it a daughters intuition you wanted to look out for you mother and your family.

But what really got to you was the fact your marriage with jimmy was on the rocks, ever since dell came along you noticed his strange behavior like he's keeping something from you, you had a talk with Ethel and discovered that dell was infact your husbands father, Ethel trusted you enough to tell you that but you couldn't imagine how painful it must have been for her to see her sons father infront of his eyes and do nothing that was until the incident with amazon eve.

Jimmy set out to have a talk with dell in the town, you expected him to be gone an hour or two but he never returned till the next morning, you were heavily pregnant with Jimmy's child you stayed at Ethel's till Jimmy came home in the early hours shouting and bawling Clinging on to dell.

You stood outside his mother's door watching Jimmy with the look of disappointment he never drank a day in his life and here he is drunk, "where the fuck were you jimmy" you sighed annoyed holding onto your obvious bump through your nightgown, "baby I went to town" he slurred "get in the caravan jimmy" you said crossing your arms together.

Elsa told dell something you weren't really caring about, "Jimmy I gotta tell you something is the toledo code the minute you let a woman tell you what to do is the minute you hand your balls to them" dell stated making you, your mother and desiree pissed, "I wanna keep my balls" jimmy slurred going on to tell elsa things are going to change.

"Dell you get your son in that caravan and get him to sleep cause I ain't you got him in that state you deal with him" you snapped walking off, "y/n no where are you going" jimmy yelled in a slur, "to my mom's tent till you sober up" was all you said going into elsa's tent.

*a few weeks later*

From then on everything got worse Ethel passed away jimmy was out his mind with drinking all the time it wasn't jimmy anymore he wasn't the man you fell in love with and married at 17 years old.

You didn't want the baby being born with their father drinking all the time you had enough, you went to get breakfast you could hear Jimmy shouting at himself thinking it was someone trying to start drama in his own head, you made yourself a sandwich something light you couldn't eat much with worry.

"Baby" Jimmy slurred guzzling down a bottle of beer you let out a sigh through your nose trying not to get mad, but it was hard when your literally about to drop a baby any moment and your hormones are going crazy, "you talking to me or that bottle jimmy" you huffed going to sit with the others whilst they ate, "What's your problem y/n" Jimmy raised his voice throwing the last of the bottle away at the end of the table alone.

"You Jimmy, you're my problem look I get it your grieving but drinking ain't the answer not when you have a wife and a baby ready to be born at any given moment Ethel wouldn't have wanted this for you" you sighed cradling your bump.

"Well nothing we can do now y/n because she's dead she's not coming back" he slurred his eyes threatening to fall shut, you felt angry that he would say that he knew what it was like being a kid with a parent who has drinking problems why would he want his baby to be brought up the same, "you better get your act together jimmy before this baby is born the ball is on your side of the court now because I'm done trying I gave my fucking life to you darling you have responsibilities now so wise up before it's too late" you yelled slamming your fist on the wooden table before walking off to cool down desiree following behind you.

"FUCK" you could hear jimmy yelling kicking something in his way you didn't care you just went to your trailer the tears slipping out your eyes, "it's alright sweetheart it's going to be alright" desiree assured holding your frail pregnant body close to her as your sobbed into her arms.

"I'm tired of this des I'm just so so tired" you hiccuped in-between sobs, you couldn't take it anymore if he wasn't going to listen to you who would he listen to, "maybe dell could maybe get to him it's worth a try" desiree suggested you were desperate so you had to talk to del, you nodded in agreement going to find dell.

You searched everywhere for dell finally finding him near the main tent talking to Stanley, "dell I need to talk to you" you said earning the attention from the two men who noticed your tear stained eyes, "after me your first in line" Stanley chuckled trying to gain dell's attention back to their conversation, "Stanley I'd advise you not to piss me off now beat it I need to talk to you dell it's important" you urged "I'll be a moment stanley" dell excused himself his hand on the small of your back guiding you somewhere more private.

"What's wrong?" Dell asked his eyes scanning your face in concern, "it's jimmy he's going down a very bad slope with the booze dell I can't get through to him but maybe you can just tell him how much it fucked everything up for you as a dad or something just tell him anything he needs you more than ever now" you began to breakdown again sitting on a sack of hay dell didn't know what to do.

He was terrified to share his feeling with jimmy on why he abandoned him, "you at least owe him that anyway dell it might give him the closure he needs" you said dell sighed heavily taking a seat next to you, "I'll try and get through to him you and the baby needs him more than anything right now" was all dell could say you nodded staring at the ground silence filling the space.

"Why did you leave him" you suddenly asked wanting to know, "I was so scared he had what I got criticised for not having by my family and I freaked out when I saw his hands they brought up the past I know it's a shitty excuse but it's true" dell stated feeling the guilt eat him up.

"But I wanted to come back I wanted to be there for him I missed so much if his life, his first word, steps, birthdays, Christmas even his own wedding I just don't know how to make up for lost time" dell sighed a stray tear slipping out his eye letting himself be vulnerable, "just be there for him right now dell you can't make up to jimmy for all that lost time but think of it this way you can gain those memories with your grandchild all those things that you missed out you and Jimmy can make even more special memories" you smiled hoping that maybe that would lift dell's spirits up.

"You know what y/n your right maybe me coming here is really a blessing I can't turn back time and make the right choice with jimmy but maybe being there for him now and for this family" dell smiled you trying to push your body up from the sack of hay with dell's assistance to get on with your day.

Jimmy was no where in sight you thought he probably went into town or something you weren't to sure, you went into your mother's tent to talk with her but she was again talking to Stanley it seems if so whenever you wanted to your mother or anyone for that matter he was there rambling on about showbiz and their chance in Hollywood you had a feeling it was all talk about it all.

"Mom?" You tried to gain her attention like a toddler wanting to show their parents a picture they drawn, "not now y/n can you see I am busy my darling" your mother's German accent shushed you Stanley glanced over at you with a smug smile like it was a competition for anyone's attention against you, you couldn't help but roll your eyes at the pettiness of it all your mother was so dumb to fall for it.

"Just think about what I'm offering elsa" was the last thing Stanley said to her before walking past you but not without that smug grin on his face, you scrunched your face at him taking a seat on the sofa, "what was that all about?" You asked cradling your bump trying to get yourself comfortable but it was no use.

"He wants me to be on the television I don't want to be on television I prefer the beauty of the silverscreen" your mother shrugged you scoffed she's really falling for that, "what are you scoffing at my sweet child huh?" Elsa raised her eyebrow at you waiting on your answer, "mother you tried to shoot your shot at fame but look where that got you here hiding the fact that your a freak too it's not right at all" you sighed shaking your head.

"If I remember you married a man who has lobster claws as hands and your carrying his unborn child in that stomach of yours" your mother took offence to your statement pointing her finger at you, "exactly there's nothing to be ashamed of your just like the rest of them mother sure you weren't born with the disformity but you can relate to them I'm the lucky one I could have ran and had a better life but I chose not to because this is my family" you argued back with her proving your point that this is her family she would be leaving behind.

"Because you fell in love your lucky you have someone to love you I'd kill to have someone love me like jimmy loves you y/n you have it very lucky child" elsa hissed she was always jealous of you and Jimmy's relationship since she always wanted to be loved, "well I don't think that's the case anymore" you whispered your hormones now switching rapidly from pissed off to on the verge of tears.

"Why whats the matter my darling" elsa asked of course your mother hadn't noticed that your marriage was on the rocks when everyone else saw, "I tried to talk to you about it all the time of but you wouldn't have noticed since your too busy thinking about yourself as per usual" you snapped a single tear leaving your eyes, elsa's face dropped now realising how much you were hurting and how alone you felt.

"I needed you mother and you were to busy thinking about elsa Mars like always Jimmy's even too busy getting drunk every second of everyday i- I just feel so alone" you sobbed finally having enough you needed a good cry and let all of your emotions out after months of keeping them in.

"But I thought you and Jimmy were fine now" elsa thought out loud you let out another scoff, "Oh yeah mother my husband and I are getting along great Jimmy's just getting drunk all the time barely bothers with me and I'm a raging ball of hormones" you scoffed shaking your head.

"I'll so sorry my darling you and Jimmy will sort things out you always do" you just nodded at elsa's words making your way out the tent jimmy was still no where to be seen.

Later on that night you laid on you and Jimmy's shared bed your record player on to some soft music you held your bump singing softly to your unborn child. You couldn't help but smile thinking how much closer you were to seeing their little face.

You were snapped out of your peaceful mind with the door banging closed revealing the culprit jimmy, staggering in drunk of his mind, "fuck" he slurred almost tripping over his own feet you just watched him not saying anything.

His back was opposite you so you couldn't see his face as jimmy tried to take his shirt off leaving himself in his old worn out wife beater on, "this fucking shirt" he huffed throwing it on the table once he finally got the fabric off with a struggle you cleared your throat gaining your husbands attention.

"And where were you jimmy" you asked  nonchalantly you were over this now this was Jimmy's problem to deal with if he wants to drink himself into the gutter then so be it, "out making a little more dough than we usually make like always" he slurred you knew about the tupperware party's for years and it did bring a decent amount of money home so you were fine with it.

"Okay I'm surprised you even made your way back home never mind getting those woman off in that state" you shrugged, "well I made it home and I made a few bucks now I want to open a beer and lay down" jimmy slurred opening the small refrigerator realising its empty from alcohol.

"Where's my beers?" He asked closing the door then opening it back it hoping that maybe the fridge would magically spawn a pack of beers, "well they went down your throat jimmy" you recalled getting yourself off the bed to make yourself some tea, "no I could have sworn I had a few-" jimmy was cut off by you latching onto your stomach in pain a loud groan of pain leaving your lips.

Your body was bent over the counter a wave of fear and panic washed over you, "What's wrong y/n" Jimmy asked also in shock and fear his body sobering up seeing you in such pain.

"I think my waters broke" you groaned your nightgown now soaked another Sharp pain overpowering your body making you let out a scream of agony, "AHH jimmy get my mom please" you begged jimmy laid you down on the bed rushing out to get your mother.

You laid there trying to get your breathing back to normal but everytime you managed to get your breathing more normal then the pain cane back as time went by the pain became more frequent.

The pain was unbearable you couldn't believe the pains of the contractions you were dreading the actual birth, the door swug open revealing jimmy, your mother and desiree all in a panic, "my darling What's wrong" your mother asked kneeling down beside you, "I think I'm having the baby I'm so scared mother" you sobbed holding your mother's hand.

"How far apart are the pains y/n" desiree asked "elsa grab some towels and a bucket of water" she instructed you mother was off in a hurry grabbing everything needed, "there about two minutes apart now" you groaned, Jimmy stood beside desiree not knowing what on earth to do, "Jimmy don't just stand there hold her hand be there for her" desiree said Jimmy was right by your side holding your hand the other stroking your damp hair.

The tears filled the brim of your eyes the pain was unbearable, desiree was checking if she could see the baby's head, "Don't worry honey I've delivered a baby or two in my time" she reassured you nodded holding into Jimmy's hand squeezing the life out of it.

What felt like forever desiree telling you to keep pushing you heard those little cries of your baby, Jimmy's eyes went wide watching as desiree wrap you baby in a blanket, "congratulations it's a gorgeous baby girl" desiree announced your face lit up in a smile hearing those words jimmy couldn't help but let tears of joy escape him.

"A girl y/n a baby girl" he whispered desiree handed your small infant to your husband his eyes never leaving the baby, "elsa can you give y/n a wash and change her into clean clothes" desiree instructed your mother took you to get washed and changed.

By the time you got back desiree was gone jimmy was still holding your daughter with a small smile, "I'll leave you two alone" your mother said leaving yours and jimmy trailer, "can I hold her?" You asked laying back on the bed you noticed the new sheets on the bed, "of course" jimmy handed you the baby you were so scared holding her like fragile China, "she's beautiful" jimmy smiled placing a kiss on your head.

"She really is" you sighed looking up at your husband with a smile and exhaustion in your eyes, "ethel" you whispered jimmy looked at you confused "what?" He chuckled sitting on the bed, "I think her name should be Ethel after your mother, after a strong woman" Jimmy's smile got brighter he couldn't have agreed more if he needed to, "Ethel darling yeah I like that, look y/n I'm sorry for the way I've been acting after seeing the baby I realised that isn't what you both need and I promise I won't ever let another drink come near me" jimmy apologised now in tears.

"Jimmy i forgive you and I know it was with everything happening but now we have a family that's all that matters now" you said placing a kiss on his lips.

[duckapus]

The Syndicate: MRU Edition

I said the Nicktoons games are canon to the MRU version of Fairly Oddparents and I meant it. And, given that Timmy now has powerful new allies and an entirely new type of multiverse lies before them, Crocker proposes to the rest of the Syndicate that they recruit some villains from these new worlds, as well as bring some villains from their own universes and the Nickverse into the fold.

The O.G.s

Professor Finbarr Calamitous

Vlad Masters/Plasmius

Denzel Q. Crocker

Sheldon Plankton

Karen Plankton

Beautiful Gorgeous

Tlaloc the Shaman

Nicolai Technus

Dib Membrane

Nicktoons Villains

Jimmy Neutron

King Goobot (+ Yolkians in general)

The Junkman

Eustace Strych

Grandma Taters

Baby Eddy Neutron

Dorkus Aurelius (I know he's from Planet Sheen it's in the same universe leave me alone)

Fairly Oddparents

Dark Laser

Foop (+Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Wanda when they find out)

Vicky (sort of)

The Nega Chin

Danny Phantom (note: all of these are on a scheme-by-scheme Basis, as Vlad and Technus are not on good enough terms with other ghosts to do long-term team-ups)

Skulker the Hunter

Ember McLain

Johny 13, Kitty, & Shadow

Warden Walker

Desiree

Penelope Spectra & Bertrand

Fright Knight

Spongebob Squarepants

Probably a few of Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy's many, many archenemies.

Other Nick Shows

Queen Vexus (+Cluster Loyalists) (My Life as a Teenage Robot)

Kilgore (MLaaTR)

...there should probably be some El Tigre villains on here but honestly I don't know enough about the show to know who would work with these guys

Doctor Blowhole (Penguins of Madagascar)

Hypno-Potamus & Warren Stone (Rise of the TMNT)

Skrawl (ChalkZone)

Verminious Snaptrap (+D.O.O.M.) (T.U.F.F. Puppy)

Swiper (Dora the Explorer) (This is a meme-fueled multiverse he totally counts)

Tak and Zim don't get any new villains because Tak doesn't have any other villains worth a damn and all of Zim's enemies are either also Dib's enemies or have never met him but probably would be his enemies if they did.

MRU Multiverse

Master Kohga The local version, not the one that's currently Director K.

Ganon The version from the 80's cartoon, since he's both Not Currently Dead and has the right personality to work with these weirdos.

Vaati

Chancellor Cole That one leprechaun-looking dude from Spirit Tracks.

Tingle We don't know why he's here. He shouldn't be here. We don't want him here. Here he is anyway.

Lady Maud From Triforce Heroes.

Professor Incisor The mad scientist who created the Hamtors in an attempt to make his own personal army to take over the world with. Instead, Doc led an uprising, and the two are now rivals in World Domination.

Queen Lokoko Of course she'd be here.

...Janitor of Heart doesn't have any reoccurring villains yet apart from The Stain, and that's really more of a corruptive mystical force than an actual sentient being. The Syndicate could probably acquire a sample and study it to see if they can harness its power but that's about it.

[crystalgemgirl]

Danny Phantom dream

I had a dream that I was the daughter of the richest family in Amity Park. My mom was too busy with social events to take care of me, so I was raised by my dad. While my mom was stuck up al looked down her nose at commoners like the Fentons, my dad encouraged me to not judge someone until I get to know them and be polite and kind to everyone, he even had a friendly working relationship with Jack and Maddie Fenton. My mom was OBSESSED with winning this competition (I forgot what it was, I think it had something to do with stuffed animals), but kept losing to Danny (for some reason) and would complain about all the time until i finally told her that I didn't care about it, because I was busy with a project (we were supposed to have a partner, but mine was Dash, so guess who had to do ALL the work) and didn't care what she did. Well, she took this to mean "use dark magic to hurt a 14 year old boy" apparently, because she cast this voodoo spell (I remember it had something to do with controlling floors, for some reason) that was causing Danny hell. I didn't know about it until mom forced me to go to this social event to keep up the appearance of the "loving mother" she very clearly wasn't. I remember I was wearing this long, form fitting white dress with a sleeve that turned into a glove on the left side, but the other side didn't have a sleeve, and I was wearing a matching elbow length glove on the right, Danny was wearing a white tuxedo (he came to blend in so he could stop my mom's madness, I think it was a white event or something) when he saw me (looking like I REALLY didn't want to be there) he ran to catch up with me and grabbed my hand, telling me to wait (he knew me from Lancer's class, but I was always too busy to talk to him) and called me by name. I looked at him confused and asked "Do I know you?" Before he could answer, my mom used the dark magic she got from the spell to tie us both up, telling Danny that he wasn't going to ruin her night. After the typical villain speech where she "thanked me" for giving her the idea (and repeating my words to me, which doesn't make sense, because nowhere in there did I say anything about using magic to bully an innocent teenager), she left us somewhere no one would find us (I think she was doing something tonight that would make her super powerful). I apologized to Danny for my mom's behavior and how she was bullying him and added that I looked beautiful, I returned the compliment in kind, he told me it wasn't my fault, I wished that none of the events that lead to the current events and that the only thing I'd regret was not meeting Danny sooner. Desiree heard me (she may have disliked Danny, but even she wasn't THAT evil) and granted my wish, instead of twisting it up into something awful like she normally would, she actually did it without the consequences. She rewound time back to when Lancer was assigning partners, "persuaded" him to partner me up with Danny, and found the spell that caused all the trouble and destroyed it. Mom wasn't happy to see Danny in the house and made him feel small under her glare, I just rolled my eyes and lead him to my room to work on the project. We didn't get much done that first couple of hours because we spent it getting to know each other, he was sweet and got as excited as a puppy when he saw my space stuff. He told me the reason he never approached me before was because Dash always told him that I was out of his league and I would never like someone like him (the opposite was true) after the project, we started going out (with my dad's approval and him keeping mom busy so we could just be teenagers) and I met Tucker and Sam.

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

God, I’m kind of annoyed about this because I’m still mad at him, but Mark Watson was obviously very good on the Taskmaster podcast last week. To be fair, I think I’m slightly less mad at him now that I realize the stuff about his marriage was in the audiobook he released in 2021. I’d thought he’d done his 2022 and 2023 stand-up shows, with all their mentions of the aftermath of his divorce, without mentioning the cause of it, which seemed disingenuous. And that he might have mentioned it in 2023 just to try to sell his book. If he did those shows while knowing he’d already told the audience the cause, and it turns out that this year, maybe he was promoting his book but he didn’t reveal his affair as a cynical way to promote his book, he just mentioned it because it’s in the book and was in the earlier version of the book a couple of years ago so this was hardly a first reveal – yeah, that is less bad. I guess. I mean, it’s still bad. But I guess I now realize that the sense of betrayal I felt, from having listened to him talk so much about his divorce without mentioning his affair, it turns out is my own fault. The information was out there, I just hadn’t listened to his audiobook to hear it. Because just as I was about to get that audiobook on my list (I do still have it downloaded), he announced that he’d release a physical book with updates, so I figured I may as well wait for that. A book that I’ll have soon, I guess.

Anyway. This was the first time I’d actually listened to Mark Watson talk since getting mad at him, and God, it was a reminder of why I like this guy so much. It’s his third time on the Taskmaster podcast, and he is the perfect guest for it. Analytical. Insightful. Introspective. Just a shade more honest than most people, just enough to make Ed get excited about it rather than balk, as Mark Watson is willing to talk more candidly than most people about the comedy industry and how the entity of Taskmaster functions within it.

He’s so good. I love listening to him talk about just about everything, but his two previous Taskmaster podcast appearances were great even by Mark Watson’s standards. I always love the podcast guests who will analyze Taskmaster like it’s a sport, and Mark Watson is the absolute king of that. Other guests who’ve been good like that include: Richard Osman, Josh Widdicombe, Kerry Godliman, Rose Matafeo, Katy Wix, Desiree Burch, Dara O’Briain, Romesh Ranganathan, obviously Jack Bernhardt but that barely counts because being the Taskmaster sports analyst is his whole thing, and Dave Gorman. People who will jump right in, look at the stats, the trends, what it takes to do well or do badly, who has what it takes to win.

Mark Watson was a brilliant contestant because he did that during his own time on the show, and he’s now done it during three podcast episodes as well. I’d always liked him, I came to respect him even more when I heard him on the Taskmaster podcast epsidoe that discussed his own season, and I learned how far he went behind the scenes to try to win. Putting absurd amounts of time and effort, and sometimes money, into every prize. Sending cheeky texts and setting up ways to continue them while he was out of the country. Stealing a colleague’s pants. Luring Nish to Belgium for a task that didn’t even get aired (for allegedly “unknown” reasons, that I think we all know are Sally threatened murder on her ex-husband).

But it’s not just what he did, it’s how he looks at what everyone else does. The respect for the game and the real players. The way he remembers stuff and can make comparisons and guesses. And this podcast appearance was no difference. He was exactly what I wanted at this point in season 16.

I was amused by how fast he kept going to Sam in each part they discussed, until at one point he admitted that he’s a bit biased, having worked with Sam a lot before and being a big fan of his comedy, so he’s sorry that he keeps focusing on Sam Campbell over the others. Mark is not the first Taskmaster podcast guest to do this – a few months ago, when the season 16 lineup had been announced but episodes hadn’t started airing, Ed would read out the lineup to all the podcast guests and ask them to comment on it. And all of them, I noticed, had trouble not focusing on Sam.

The first guest to do this was Mae Martin, on for the episode discussing the season 15 finale because they’d just won it and the winner always goes on to discuss the finale, so they hadn’t seen the new lineup yet because it hadn’t been publicly announced. Ed read the lineup to them on the podcast, knowing it wouldn’t air until after the announcement happened, so we got Mae’s first-ever reactions to all the names, as they heard it for the first time. They got pretty excited about Julian Clary, but as soon as Sam Campbell’s name was mentioned, they got stuck on that and could barely talk about anyone else. I could hear them trying to make sure they gave close to equal time to discussing the others, to not come off like an asshole who doesn’t care about Sue Perkins, but they were clearly so excited about the possibility of Sam Campbell on Taskmaster that this was all that mattered. That reaction was repeated, to a somewhat lesser extent (presumably because other guests had heard the lineup before they were presented with it on the podcast, so got their initial reactions out while not being recorded), with every podcast guest who was asked for their thoughts on season 16 before it aired. During season 16, Ed mentioned that his producer had done some actual analysis and said that Sam Campbell had generated a bigger reaction from all the comedian podcast guest than any other contestant.

I’ve got to say, that’s a little bit how I feel when I write blog posts about Taskmaster season 16. I have written about it in a while, just because I’ve been so busy that I haven’t written much of anything on this blog in a while, but when I was writing about it, I found myself regularly checking to make sure I’d said enough things about the non-Sam contestants to justify the amount I was saying about Sam. And I fucking love Sue Perkins, I have for many many years. I… I have to admit my view of Lucy Beaumont has become slightly tainted since I realized she may just be like that for real, but I do still enjoy watching whatever the fuck’s going on with her. Obviously Clary’s a legend of some sort. Susan Wokoma’s been more than weird enough to hold her own despite not being a stand-up. But Sam Campbell just does something to people where it’s hard to remember anyone else exists. And by “people”, I mean “me”, which is why I make such a point of saying the comedians on the podcast did that too, so it’s not just me! It’s them too! Though Mark Watson and Mae Martin are the only ones I’ve heard actually admit that that’s happening to them.

Anyway. Mark Watson did a lot of praising Taskmaster for taking a risk on a guy with relatively little TV experience like Sam Campbell, to which I said “He’s won two giant stand-up awards for his shows that are full of creativity and lateral thinking of exactly the sort that makes people great on Taskmaster, it was a hardly a risk to think maybe he’d be good”, and then Mark said he knows people might say Sam Campbell was a great comedian so not a risk, which is true, but TV people always think it’s a huge risk to book anyone who isn’t already a TV legend. And I see his point. Anyway, then Mark moved on from discussing Sam’s skills as a comedian, and got on with discussing his skills as a Taskmaster contestant, like the sports analyst he is. All the best Taskmaster podcast guests are like sports analysts.

And on that subject, I haven’t posted about Taskmaster in a while so I have a few episodes worth of updating to do, and I have to say: What did I say about Sam Campbell? What did I fucking say about Sam Campbell? I said he had the skillset to not just win Taskmaster, but it probably won’t be close, I’m calling for a landslide to rival Mae’s last season. I said that before the season started airing, and like any good (or annoying) sports analyst, I have to remind people of that so I can claim credit for being right. Because the results have borne out my theory.

I also take pride in how I called it more successfully than Ed Gamble did, as he keeps saying that he’d expected Sam to be purely silly and not have the competitive edge that it takes to do well, even if he has the skills. So Ed keeps saying he’s impressed how Sam isn’t purely messing around out there, he’s messing around while also doing the tasks well. But come on, he should have expected that, as you do not do as well as Sam has done until now (in life, I mean, not just on Taskmaster) with no competitive edge! It’s happened over and over on Taskmaster, that he’ll find a way to do the funniest thing, but in a way that it’s also the thing that’s most like to get him the most points. Or more accurately, I think what he’s doing is the thing that’s most likely to get him the most points, and then he finds a way to make it funny, and in the studio he gives some explanation about how he didn’t know what he was doing and was just throwing out [some funny idea/weird story about divers]. But it can’t be a coincidence how often it works! Don’t tell me that strange man has no killer instinct!

I’m still house-sitting in these rich people’s house, and they have a projector in one room that creates a giant in-home theatre, and I’ve watched the last few Taskmaster episodes on that. That really enhances how much it feels like a sport, as I’ve found myself repeatedly yelling at the massive screen like I would during a sport where I care about the outcome. No one is watching it with me, I’m not performing for anything. I’m just so invested in backing Sam Campbell, wanting my pre-season prediction to be accurate, that during the episode, I have more than once involuntarily shouted the words “Come on, Sammy!” or yelled at him to move in a certain direction like I think he can hear me, before realizing what I’ve done and telling myself to take it down a notch. That’s not even a particularly reasonable thing to do while watching actual sports, though I do it during those too.

Obviously, during the switches task, I was shouting at all the contestants. Before I saw part 2, I asked myself what I’d do, so I could register my answer and compare it against the right thing. And I thought I’d press three or four switches, in case I need some stuff, and I’d press them early on, so that if I needed to do things with them then I’d have them early. But then I’d avoid pressing more, in case it had negative consequences. And I’d definitely not press the “don’t” switch. This has come up on Taskmaster before – where contestants are told not to do something, and they have to work out whether they should ignore that advice, or whether it’s a double bluff. And every time, it’s turned out to be best to follow the advice. They always set it up that way, so that when the contestants ignore the advice, they can go back to the studio and saying “Well I did tell you not to [do the thing].” If something says “don’t”, always avoid doing it. That’s the Taskmaster rule.

Also, during the task with the wavy car sales thing, am I the only person who thought knives? Just go get a knife from the kitchen and throw them from outside the red green to pierce the thing? It’s a big target and the red green isn’t far away (also, you could use another object to push the red green away and get closer, though you are risking it falling on you and then you break the “don’t touch it” rule), it can’t be that hard. Would they have not been allowed to do that? Because the rules didn’t forbid it. Anyway, the point is that I thought Mark had interesting things to say about all of this. He talked about a whole lot of the things I’ve mentioned in this post, and related it back to things previous contestants have done, and I enjoyed that. There is a reason why I loved listening to Mark Watson talk.

Mark and Ed did both point out that this season is lacking some of the more overt competitiveness of previous seasons, and I think they have a point. I think it's been a great season so far, but it is somewhat lacking the people who care so much about winning that they'll fight tooth and nail, in the house (by trying everything and justifying it to the camera) and then by fighting Greg in the studio for points. But to be fair, we've been blessed with that in the last few seasons (Chris Ramsey and Sophie Duker, Dara O'Briain, Mae Martin and to a lesser extent Ivo Graham), and the rumours do suggest we may have someone who's prone to it coming up next. So in the meantime, I can be happy with this.

[theborzoiarebackintown]

I’m sure you get asked this a lot, but what are borzois like in your experience? I’ve yet to meet up with one at a show and until then, everything I read on them seems to be contradictory, like some saying they’re cat like with their affection(Im not sure about this cause I’ve only had cuddly cats lol)to being one of the most affectionate sighthounds, or how theyre skittish but others saying that theyre meant to be brave per breed standard. Do you also have any sites/books with info about them?

Borzoi are an enigma, honestly. As hard as we try to describe them I don’t think anyone can fully understand their eccentricities until they live with them.

There’s a decently wide range of temperaments in the breed, from golden levels of social to wanting nothing to do with anyone ever, and some can be on the skittish side of things although frankly I don’t see that very often. Imo a correct temperament is quietly confident but not obsessively caring to interact with strangers. Able to adapt quickly to new environments without getting over aroused or upset. It’s not at all unusual to see borzoi flat out sleeping while waiting around for ring times at shows! I would say the vast majority of borzoi I’ve met like people and will seek out attention from strangers, but not in an overly pushy obnoxious way. Margo is a bit more on the reserved side and people not familiar with the breed often think she’s shy/scared, but in reality she simply doesn’t care about strangers. She’ll typically sniff them and then not care to interact further. She’s about as reserved as I’d like to go, but I don’t find her temperament incorrect or out of the ordinary for the breed.

I think they’re more cat like in their general personalities than in confidence and affection levels. They do what they want when they want, in all things. They’re independent and know they don’t really need us. This sounds cheesy, but you really do have to earn their love and affection. They aren’t very dog like so getting into the breed from having “normal” breeds is pretty wild.

I don’t have a ton of experience with other sighthound breeds, so I have nothing to offer as far as their affection levels there. I will only say Charlie gets big mad if I don’t spend enough time cuddling him, and this is not at all a rare trait in the breed. They don’t tend to be clingy or a velcro breed, but when they want attention they want attention.

I don’t really have any good resources just on general temperament! All my stuff is very structure and pedigree and breeding skewed lolol you could check out The Complete Borzoi by Lorraine Groshans, and The Borzoi by Desiree Scott. I honestly can’t remember now how much either of these go over correct temperament lol it’s definitely something a bit subjective, but in general you don’t want temperament traits that would be difficult to handle in a giant breed.

Editing to add: generally the boys are way more affectionate than the girls, and the girls are more likely to be a bit more reserved and well. Bitchy.