#HE THREW! AWAY! HER EGGS! THAT SHE GAVE HIM! FROM HER OWN CHICKENS!

[napalmstrikebarbie]

absolutely crazy to me that sometimes you can read a book and feel kinda ehh about it and discover that it's still living in your head rent free decades later

[thoumhawife]

BakuSquad Cooking Mishaps

Katsuki Bakugo

In Bakugos words, it was less of a mishap and more of an experiment. Which in reality it was him trying to make really spicy chicken

Bakugo’s “Super Spice” was a combination of a shit load of spicy stuff, put it all in the blender…. The blender blew up

Safe to say Aizawa forbid him from cooking in the kitchen for a long while, he also had to clean the kitchen for 2 weeks, mainly bc that’s how long it took to get all the spice mixture out of some crevasses

Bakugo did demand thank you’s from all the sick students bc the smell cleared their sinuses

Ejiro Kirishima

Kirishima was taking cooking classes as he told Bakugo that he’d be the cook while he was doing his work study

While cooking spaghetti for the class he put the pot on the stove and threw the spaghetti in

He was half way through making the sauce when he and the others started smelling something burning

He opened the oven expecting it to be the garlic bread he threw in a few minutes ago, to checking everything before finally looking at the pot and seeing that he put no water in the pot and the spaghetti noodles started to burn away

From the on Bakugo started making the food earlier if he had something to do at his work study

Denki Kaminari

Denki was baking with Sato, having fun learning to bake shit and doing his own thing

Sato had to run out of the kitchen to go to the store to grab some vanilla extract which left Denki in the kitchen…alone

Denki put everything that he needed into the bowl, doing very well, he chopped up the fruits on the cutting board…oven beeped letting everyone around, know that it was pre heated.

Denki threw the fruits in and continued mixing the cake batter, adding in some sprinkles and other candies to make it known that he was the one who made it

Sato gets back and runs into the kitchen and sees Denki searching frantically for the fruit he had chopped up.

“Hey Sato! I made the cake batter just can’t find the fruit” Sato let him search alone, figuring he must’ve ate them and was coming up with an excuse when he seen that the oven was fully pre heated

“Kaminari, did you put anything’s into the oven?” Denki turned around and looked at the oven and his eyes widened

The inside of the oven was on fire and the cutting board was melted.

Mina Ashido

He and the girls were making cupcakes for everyone, having the time of their lives, playing music and eating frosting

Everyone had a job, Mina’s was making the batter. She was on a roll, making a whole batch worth of batter in minutes

She had everything she needed next to her little work station, the other girls doing there stuff.

The flour next to the sugar, the salt in between them, the eggs next to the milk, the vanilla extract next to the butter. The whisk sitting comfortably in the bowl the counter having some batter from Mina getting a little too rowdy

She added everything she need, the flour, the small amount of salt that was need the 2-3 eggs, the milk and vanilla extract.

She passed the batter off to Tsu who put them in the tin and passed them off to Uraraka who put them in the oven.

After Uraraka took them out and passed them to Yayorozou who took them out of the tin and put the wrappings on it and passed it off to Jiro who frosted them and gave them to Hagakure who decorated them and put them off a plate.

Oncethey finished they all took one and unlucky for most of them they got the saltiest cupcake ever. Mina mixed up the sugar with salt and had to taste all the cupcakes and make whole new batches.

Hanta Sero

He was casually making himself grilled cheese for lunch, got a can of tomato soup out to because why the hell not.

He started cooking the soup as he buttered the pan for the grilled cheese. He’s got the bread and cheese out.

He’s confident, ready to get his food and go back to his room to watch marvel movies. He placed the knife down on the edge of the pan as he threw down the bread on the pan along with the cheese and last piece of bread.

Sero’s grabbing a spatula to flip the grill cheese then the smell of burning plastic hit him. Confused he started looking around. Then his eyes landed on it

Sero wasn’t even high yet, he planned to be during his marvel movie marathon but right now he was fine and yet he stilled used a plastic knife and left it on the hot pan under his grilled cheese

He had to scrap the melted plastic off the pan and make a whole new grilled cheese and had to eat it with lukewarm tomato soup

[multiples-fandomswontkillme]

~Metal Family headcanons~

These are like my... general hcs)? which means I didn't include my main hc that Glam, Ches and Vicky are polyamorous, married and started dating after Glam met Vicky, and absolutely everything that implies for the kids and the relationships between each member of the fam. Maybe I'll make a separate post for that or maybe not! Who knows lkfwnlfqnf

Glam

Bisexual

Glam has constant nightmares and ocasional night terrors ever since he ran away home and is an active sleep walker. Ches helped him through the worse ones when they were younger, and learned how to deal with them, always preferring not to wake him up but being with him until the episode passed. Vicky has learned how to deal with them, though she normally asks Ches for advice with it cuz she comes out short sometimes.

He has PTSD. I bet it's diagnosed too, he takes medication and goes to therapy, it doesn't mean he still doesn't have his bad days anyway. He's trying to get better.

Glam has talked to Vicky about his past, his father and his family. This is a direct contradiction of Alina's confirmation that Glam doesn't talk about it with anyone but man FUCK THAT. We love good communication in this house, Vicky tries her best to help him, but there's only so much she can do to help.

Glam enjoys gardening, cooking and making models, he also likes doing his make up, painting his nails and dressing up in fancy, extravagant clothes even if he has nowhere important to go.

He likes taking care of everyone's hair, and constantly helps Vicky brush her hair cuz there's so much of it, Dee when he gets stressed over how tangled it can get, buys Ches hair products so he actually takes care of it, and chases Heavy so the kid actually washes, untangles and brushes his hair.

This one is kind of weird, but I refuse to think any adult in the family is unarmed at any time. Glam owns a taser and pepper spray. They're bright pink and sparkly.

This man cried his eyes out while watching Coco. He's hell to watch movies with cuz he talks and predicts what's gonna happen during the movie, judges them with scores at the end and all.

Vicky

Also bisexual!

Vicky's the one who does everyone's laundry most of the time. She prefers it that way since she's the only one that knows how to wash their black clothes so the colors stay vibrant. (This is based on my gf shaming everyone but Vicky cuz their black clothes always look so muted and almost gray, but Vicky's whole outfit is always the same vibrant black colors, so we decided that neither Glam or the kids know how to wash dark clothes)

She has anger issues, if it isn't obvious. I think she also has PTSD, mainly survivor's guilt due to her surviving the accident her brother died in. She blames herself and cannot bear to talk about it, in some sort of deep denial. If she can't remember, it can't hurt as much, right?

She has scars on the right side of her back and her hip, from the road rash she got on her brother's accident, she never treated it due to grief and it scarred badly. Apart from that, the scar of the caesarean section from Heavy's birth. She doesn't really mind both of them, they happened, nothing to do about them.

She likes watching boxing competitions, brawling matches and motorcycle repairing on TV. Loves doing BBQ's and going to the pool. Also an enjoyer of teasing her kids, kissing and loving her husband at random times, spending time drinking and bonding with Ches and bragging about her family and punching anyone who thinks they're not that cool.

Not particularly a fan of make up, skirts and dresses or any traditionally femenine-perceived stuff. But has been making exceptions due to Glam and Ches being unashamed of being seen as femenine, and actually rocking the looks. The internalized misogyny is kind of slowly dissapearing.

Apart from the guns she carries in each arm (I mean her biceps, have you looked at the size of those?? She strong) she has brass knuckles on her at all times. Glam gifts her new ones sometimes, she loves having multiple choices to punch people teeth in.

Loves horror, thrillers and action movies. Falls asleep during rom-coms and dramas. Ironically, loves gossip and talking shit about people. Enjoys hearing Ches talks about the gossip going on in the nursery home even if she doesn't know who the hell he's talking about.

Rest of the family under the cut!

Heavy

Heavy is a trans boy! He doesn't know his sexuality yet though, he's still figuring himself out. When he's older, i think he definitely dated some men but had better luck with girls.

Heavy has had innocent crushes on some girls on his class before, but they never turn into anything more cuz he's not the best at expressing himself. He follows the bother-the-girl-to-death-until-she-hates-you gimmick, and unsurprisingly, it doesn't work.

I'm sorry to break this to u but Heavy totally had an among us phase, and uses so much reddit and twitch slang... You know he does.

Likes bullying and teasing his brother to death. You know that when Dee had his first romance, Heavy was ALL up in his business being a tease and a bad attempt at a wingman. He means well tho.

He's not squeamish at all. Also has great pain resistance. This kid has picked cockroaches with his bare hands and loves cats, of course the cats have scratched him. He's tough!

Grows up to be the charming himbo he was always destined to be.

Dee

I hc him as demisexual. Kind of inherited his dad's tastes for the takes no crap, intimidating but pretty kind of people.

Can't cook. He tries but he can only do basics like rice, cereal, chicken nuggets or eggs. Complicated meals always burn or don't taste like anything at all. It drives him crazy.

Dee was a quiet and very well behaved toddler before Heavy was born. He never threw tantrums or got whims. After Heavy was born though, and despite the fact he understood his brother was small and needed special care, he started craving attention often and cried and got mad at little things. Typical jealousy of the oldest sibling.

The first time Dee fell in love with someone, he didn't recognize it was love at first. He just thought his interest on the person was born out of curiosity and aesthetic attraction, but as soon as he realized he seeked validation and companionship, that he liked seeing them smile, that he wanted to protect them, that he yearned for more time alone with them and that he wanted more than what just a simple friendship implied, it was an instant 'oh hell no'. He wanted those feelings to get the hell away, but unfortunately, they were there to stay.

Canonically likes MLP, psychological and horror anime like Death note and Hellsing, so I'm deciding he also watched Death Parade, had a FNAF phase, is very into The Walten Files. This guy enjoys any kind of specially dark ARG's and knows a ton of lore of real crime, unsolved cases, ghost appearances and other stuff. Doesn't believe in the supernatural, but sure is entertained by it.

He's a mess at romance. Flirting? His attempts at compliments are hardly flattering. Giving gifts? The best he can manage is jewelry and you can kind of tell he asked his dad for help. Dates? He's so nervous he's silent for most of it, but begins getting comfortable and having fun if his partner really knows how to get him down from his negativity cloud.

Ches

Pansexual.

He's very good with kids. He has the patience of a saint and he's laid-back, chill and fun but still is an authority figure who knows how to put limits. Sure, he's gonna let the kids light up a house on fire BUT hey, now they know everything about fire precautions, burns and how to treat them AND how to get away with arson. What an educational evening, am I right?

Due to certain info from the "Goodbye" official comic, I headcanon Ches as depressed. I don't want to elaborate a lot 'cuz of spoilers, but... God, everything related to his mom fucking hurts, man. How did he deal with all that?

Ches has been Dee and Heavy's babysitter so many times he cannot count them with all his fingers. He learned how to put those kids to sleep almost immediately (Sing Bon Jovi's "This ain't a love song" and any cheesy love song in a slow lullaby style and they're out), which movie were their favorite as kids (Heavy loved 'Monsters Inc.' and Dee never looked away during 'Meet the Robinsons'), how to console them after nightmares (Heavy needed reassurance, sweet words, and to be with someone until he fell asleep again. Dee just had to be tucked in, get his nightlight turned on and kissed in the forehead). He practically raised those kids along with Vicky and Glam.

More than once, Dee and Heavy have slipped and called Ches "Dad". Ches immediately gets his shit eating grin on and answers "Yes, son?" and does a couple of dad jokes just to mess and embarrass them. He's actually very flattered and surprised at how proud of himself he is for being a father figure to both kids.

Has a scar on the left side of his forehead due to a bottle his mom threw at him when he was younger, around the time he met Glam. He hates the scar with passion, it's a permanent reminder of the fact she never cared, that's why he always keeps it covered with his headband. Gets sad about it sometimes.

Ches likes to spend his time with a group of grannies of the nearby nursing home. He genuinely considers them his friends and gossips and hangs out with all of them on weekends. Bingo, billiards, walks in the park, soap opera marathons, you name it. I even designed them, gave them names and backstories... God, i just love the concept too much. I'll make some art about Ches and his granny gang FOR SURE, you're NOT ready for them.

Carries a pocket knife on him at all times. This man grew up on a bad neighborhood and absolutely knows how to defend himself, he can be intimidating when he wants to be and will pose a threat if needed. He's fucking terrifying when genuinely mad. Just cause he looks harmless doesn't mean he is, darling.

That would be all!

[ray-ray-writings]

A Dedicated Pig-Technoblade

#3 and 47 from this prompt list! Check out my masterlist here! This is in the DreamSMP Au. I

This is a Technoblade x GN reader! 

So in this AU I am making it so that your cannon lives are shown on your left wrist. And if someone types something in chat or if someone joins the server, it appears as text on your right arm until you dismiss it! If you are confused feel free to ask me any questions!

Part Two! Part Three! Part Four!

Y/N finally meets the one that everyone has been walking on eggshells over.

Y/N’s POV

I will never forget the gasps, murmurs, and then tense silence that followed the notification that everyone received on their right arm. Technoblade had joined the SMP. I didn’t understand why it was such a big deal though. Of course I had heard the stories. The horrors that he had done. The fights he picked and won. The amount of blood that had been shed at his hands had earned him the title of “The Blood God”. But when push comes to shove, he’s just another mortal man.

Everyone was a little freaked out and on edge because of the new addition to the server. I mean, Schlatt had just banished Techno’s family, his two brothers, from the nation that they created and fought for. Everyone knew that family was everything to Techno and if there was one thing Techno would do anything for it was his family. He would literally go to hell and back if it meant that his brothers and his father were safe. 

Finally after a few minutes of everyone holding their breath, I scoffed, rolled my eyes, and went on with my work, cleaning up the election decorations. All eyes turned to me “Y/N” Niki hissed, “Do you not understand what just happened? He could be anywhere” I let out a joyless laugh as I looked at my best friend, “You really think he’s going to come here right away? With nothing on him? With his brothers on the run? You think he’s going to worry about coming here, where it would be a 1 vs…” My eyes scanned the crowd doing a quick mental count, “15 plus? Come on Niki, think with that big brain of yours.” I claimed, a little annoyed, as I took down a banner. 

Niki let out a shaky sigh but nodded and continued helping me. “You’re right,” I chuckled at her response and bumped her shoulder, “You know I always am”. Soon, everyone went back to their own tasks, forgetting the news we all had just received. ‘See Mr. Pig Man Blood God’ I silently thought to myself, ‘You’re not as scary as you may think’. 

*Time skip*

A week and a half had gone by since Technoblade had joined the server and no one had seen him. Like I had predicted, he immediately had searched and met up with his brothers and had stayed clear of the main part of the server. That being said, I should have known that he would rear his pink head at some point…

When I first joined the server, I had made myself a small farm for food. Well of course everyone found out about it and wanted a part of it. So my small farm grew and grew. When Niki built her bakery, she needed a steady supply of well… supplies. Sugar, wheat, eggs, milk, and all that. I had plenty and I was more than happy to give her what she needed in exchange for baked goods. So once a week I would haul boxes of supplies across the SMP from my farm to her bakery. 

Everyone was aware of this and so on these days everyone would stay out of my way. Which is why I was so surprised to slam into someone while carrying a box of eggs to the bakery. 

I let out a huge gasp as the sound of eggs cracking filled my ears as I slammed into someone. The box fell out of my hands as raw egg covered my hands and body. “What the hell!” I cried out, looking up to yell at whoever had just crashed into me. I was momentarily stunned. There in the flesh, right in front of me, stood the Blood God himself, Technoblade. My surprise  didn’t last long as I remembered why I was angry in the first place. 

“What the hell are you doing here? It’s bakery day, sure you didn’t know that, but you should have taken the hint not to be here when you didn’t see anyone walking this part of the Prime path!” I shouted at the pink haired man. Techno’s brown eyes widened as I verbally attacked him. “And now I’m covered in raw egg! This is not pleasant! It’s gross and sticky and cold and I do not enjoy it! You are sooooo lucky I have a change of clothes at the farm and that my chickens laid a lot of extra eggs this week or else you would have had to explain to dear sweet Niki why she wouldn’t be able to open her cute bakery this week.” I hissed out. 

“I’m sorry,” Techno began with a raised eyebrow, “Do you not know who you’re talking to?” He questioned with a deep voice. I let out a loud scoff at the audacity of his question, “Of course I know who you are, Mr. Blood God,” I mocked. “So. You do know who I am and what I am capable of.” I scoffed at his smug words. “I said I did, didn’t I? And frankly I couldn’t care less about you and your reputation. You’re just a guy. A guy that has ruined my day because I now have egg all over me!” I complained, wiping my hands on my pants. 

I reached down and began picking up the box and the eggs and egg shells that had fallen on the ground.“You know, I could kill you with no hesitation?” Techno claimed as he crouched down, moving his face close to mine. “I’ve done it before to many others. They blink and my sword has entered their chest. I’ve probably slaughtered more people than you’ve ever met in your life,” Techno mused, a smug smirk tugging on his lips. 

I looked up from my box with a blank expression on my face, “Am I supposed to be scared of you? Is that supposed to scare me? Make me shake in my boots?” I questioned, my eyebrow raised. Techno’s smirk slowly slipped off his face. He quickly stood up and stared at me in shock, “Didn’t you hear me? I could kill you!” He explained. I rolled my eyes and also stood up. “So could another human. Literally anyone else. So could a fall from a huge height. So could a dedicated chicken. You’re not special.” I stated, turning on my heel and began walking back toward my farm. 

“So you’re really not scared of me?” I heard Techno question as he began to jog to catch up to me. “Haven’t I made that clear? You may have scary stories and legends surrounding you, but when it comes right down to it, you’re a man. Well, part pig, part man, but a man and mortal all the same.” Techno let out a scoff, “Technoblade never dies,” he claimed. “But you could. You have three cannon lives just like the rest of us.” I concluded. 

Techno silently followed me as I moved through the barn, replacing the eggs that had cracked when we collided. After I filled the box once more, I set it down before stepping into the bathroom I had built. “I’ll be right out. Don’t touch anything.” I commanded. Techno gave me a mock salute before looking around the barn once more. I closed the door and quickly cleaned up. I took off my egg covered clothes, washed my hands and body before putting on the clean clothes I kept here. 

I found Techno where I left him. “You ready to go?” I questioned softly. His eyes trailed from my horses back to me as he gently nodded. I made my way back to the boxes before picking the egg box back up. “Is this going to?” Techno asked. I looked over and found him pointing at the last box needing to go to the bakery. “Yeah, but you don’t have to-” I was cut off by Techno picking up the box. “Let’s go” He said walking out the door. I let out a laugh before following him, being sure to close the door behind me. 

The two of us made small talk about anything and everything on our way to the bakery. Techno told me all about Wilbur and Tommy’s constant squabbles and I told him all about everyone’s wariness ever since he joined the server. Techno helped me put everything away, which caused me to be done a lot sooner than I usually get done. The two of us left the bakery and made our way back outside. We began strolling the prime path and subconsciously came to a stop where the two of us met. 

Our conversation died down and the two of us stood there for a moment, just staring at each other. I finally cleared my throat, “Thank you for helping me today. I really appreciate it.” I thanked, running a hand through my hair. Techno mirrored my actions with a shy smile on his face, “No problem. It’s the least I could do.” There was a slight pause before he spoke again, “Hey. Listen. I’m sorry for threatening you earlier. It’s just… Everyone I’ve ever met has been terrified of me and when you weren't… It really threw me for a loop. So… thanks. Thank you for giving me a chance.” I let out a giggle at his vulnerability, “It’s no problem…. Maybe when this is all over and you and your brothers are welcome back into L’Manberg, we could hang out more.” I offered. Techno gave me a soft smile and a gentle nod, “Yeah. I’d like that. A lot.” 

“Techno!” A voice whisper shouted. The two of us jumped at the sudden interruption and turned to look at who had called the pink haired man’s name. It was Wilbur. “There you are! Where have you been?!” He questioned, marching up to the two of us. Techno made a gesture to me. Wilbur’s eyes shifted to me. I gave him a smile and a wave. “Hey Wilbur. It’s great to see you” Wilbur’s eyes softened as he gave me a smile, “Hey Y/N. It’s so good to see you too. We’ve got to go. Techno was supposed to be on a spy mission, but I see he got distracted…” I laughed at his words and nodded. “Something like that,” Techno claimed, rubbing the back of his head a blush. 

“Well it was great to see you Wilbur. Tell Tommy I miss him and that I say to stop trying to decorate with things that aren’t his, yeah?” Wilbur gave me another soft smile and nod, “Will do Y/N. Tell Niki I miss her?” I returned his smile and nod. I then turned to Technoblade and gave him a smile as well, “It was lovely to meet you. I really hope this is over soon so I can show you my weapons collection.” Techno’s eyes lit up and he nodded. “It was amazing to meet you too Y/N. And I would love that. So much.” I giggled at his response and nodded. “I knew you would. Bye guys.” I gave them both one last smile before turning and headed back to my farm. 

As I was leaving I overheard the next part of Techno and Wilbur’s conversation. “So… Y/N huh?” “Shut up.” “Who knows, when this thing is all over maybe you’ll get together and have pink haired, Y/E/C babies… Oh I would be the best uncle and-” “I’ll give you a five second headstart.” “Oh come on Techno-” “Five” “Please” “Four” “Tech-” “Three” “You know it’s-” “Two” “Oh come on” “One” “OH GOD! RUNNING!” 

I let myself look over my shoulder at the two. Sure enough Wilbur was sprinting down the prime path as fast as he could, but Techno was right behind him. “Get over here!” Techno shouted after Wilbur. “NO!” I let myself giggle at the two’s antics. My eyes focused on the two for as long as I could, but soon enough the two were out of my view and my ear shot. Oh I can’t wait until this is all over. 

There you go! I hope you enjoyed! And I hope I did the anon that requested this justice! If you did enjoy, be sure to leave a like! And maybe even a reblog or reply telling me what you liked about it! Until next time!

[thetrueweaveroffate]

Subscorp Week - Day 3 - Childhood

He remembered a time when his favorite food was nothing more than a simple hard-boiled egg from a chicken, eaten between dips into a small amount of soy sauce. Despite the simple nature, it did not taste bland compared to simple white rice, thanks to him practically drowning it in soy sauce, and it was one of the few sources of protein he was skilled enough to earn on his own, without Bi-Han's aid. Not only that though, but it was also perhaps the only dish (if it can even be called that) where he could afford to be comfortable eating it slowly.

That didn't mean he always ate it slowly though, just that he felt comfortable doing so. He could savor it when he was alone or sharing it with his brother, but since the chicken eggs were frequently smaller in the icy north, if the need ever came he could simply shove whatever was remaining in his mouth entirely. And that need came up often.

"Kimiko-chan, why aren't you eating your egg slices?"

Kuai Liang peered up from his ramen and across the table.

The girl, Kimiko, barely over eight years of age and unable to sit still in a chair for more than five minutes, seemed eager to eat anything in her bowl but the eggs. Even drinking the broth before taking another bite out of the remaining slice of hard-boiled egg. Hanzo stared, not unfriendly, but definitely disapprovingly.

"I don't wanna," she mumbled. "I don't like it when the yellow part is dry."

"The yolk?"

The girl nodded.

"The yolk is the best part, Kimiko-chan. You will need protein if you want muscles to become a strong Shirai-Ryu."

She merely grumbled, and it was clear that argument wasn't going to work.

Hanzo merely sighed, electing to just pick up the remaining egg slice with his chopsticks and eat it himself. Kimiko, for her part, seemed satisfied and swallowed whatever was remaining in her bowl and hurriedly left to wash her bowl before going outside to play with the rest of the Shirai Ryu children.

Hanzo huffed, shaking his head, before turning to Kuai Liang, "I hope you can excuse her behavior. Children can be awfully picky eaters. I know I was when I was her age."

Kuai Liang only shrugged. "I suppose it is understandable."

It wasn't. But he wasn't going to question why anyone, even a child, would turn something as prized and golden as an egg. A  chicken egg,  nonetheless. Perhaps it was the simple fact she had grown up eating eggs on a regular, while he has only ever had quail eggs. Tasty, for sure, but small. They were easy to steal and even easier to be stolen.

"That being said, you did overcook the eggs before slicing them," Hanzo mentions casually, "The yolk is definitely dry. You could even see it, Kuai Liang."

"Really? I thought you needed to cook eggs all the way through. To prevent disease, and all that."

"Mm. Yes," He waves dismissively, "There is no need to worry about this, but normally when we make eggs we like them raw, even partially. Our eggs are safe enough to eat like that. It is no matter though."

"I am learning though, the proper ways to cook your dishes," Kuai Liang commented.

Hanzo merely gave a confirming hum.

He and his brother used to horde food in the room they shared from the very beginning.

Jujubes, any random assortment of snacks and candy, and, as they grew older and bolder, leftovers. The Lin Kuei had no fridges back then because getting one would have been more trouble than it was worth. They were cryomancers. They could make their own fridge. The issue then was in heating things up. In cooking.

Kuai Liang knew the basics of cooking. But that was about it. Every Lin Kuei was expected to know how to sustain themselves. But Lin Kuei had better things to do than perfect the culinary arts. Wasting time, and precious resources of charcoal, to cook more food than what was considered necessary.

He once threw up after hungrily eating a bowl of leftover tofu soup. Bi-Han blamed it on him eating it cold.

"Here, let me show you," Hanzo offered once lunch was over and all the dishes were put away. "First, a pot of water put on high heat. A small pot, with enough water to submerge chicken eggs, was placed over the stove on high heat. He placed the lid, to trap the heat.

"How many eggs are you planning to boil?" Kuai Liang asked.

"Enough to make one layer of eggs without packing them tightly," Hanzo answered.

Gods. That was what? Eleven? Possibly a dozen eggs? If this was the old Lin Kuei, he would have to be careful, Kuai Liang thought, or else the older students would steal them. Tall students, much taller and meaner, or so they seemed at the time when he himself was so short that he could barely pass their waist. And those were BI-Han's prizes, a reward for a successful mission before he started earning much more of the lion's share. It was his responsibility to protect both of them, and he was failing.

"And now, a timer for six minutes." Hanzo stated, bringing him out of his thoughts, and lowering the heat to a medium. Kuai Liang watched as the bubbles of the water simmered and disappeared before Hanzo put the lid back on again.

They would hold his snacks triumphantly in the air, far past where he could reach, jeering at him for being too pathetic to retrieve his own food. Much to his shame, he had to rely on Bi-Han to scare them off, and for the first few years within the Lin Kuei, when they were just budding assassins, he was far from successful. As he grew up, he realized they were just hungry as he was, having to steal from one another for the chance to receive the same delicacy he was lucky to have.

Kuai Liang kept his face neutral, but he clenched his fists.

It’s not like you are competing with rats, the masters will tell him.  Though if you yourself cannot at the age of a young man fight to secure his own food, then perhaps you should compete with the rats and steal their food instead.

Damn them. He was only a child.

"Kuai Liang, if you can make the water colder for me, please?"

Hanzo handed him a bowl of water. Kuai Liang blinked and immediately unclenched his fists.

"Er, what for?"

"We need to peel the eggshell off," Hanzo merely said, "Or how else can you try out a tamago I had lovingly made for you?"

Kuai Liang was flustered by the response but cooled the water to an acceptable degree. Hanzo had merely chuckled, applied a chaste kiss on his cheek, but continued to ladle the boiled eggs in the cooled water. They peeled the shells off once they were an agreeable temperature, and Hanzo had, with great anticipation, cut one in half.

The center of the egg truly looked divine. It was boiled to the perfect amount, where the yolk looked positively golden. Neither completely solid, nor completely runny.

When was the last time someone had made food for him? Probably Bi-Han, back when they were children. His mother, before then. but he was a man now, he didn’t need anyone cooking now him. But the experience brings back memories he long thought were forgotten. A mother, in the kitchen, chopping green onions, and the smell of dinner.

"Here," Hanzo offered in a small porcelain bowl with both hands, "For you."

I love this man, Kuai Liang thought. He had known for some time now, but here, where the compassion of his companion outshone his wrath, it was impossible to deny.

Hanzo procured a small bowl with a bit of soy sauce at the end, "Bi-Han told me you like your eggs with soy sauce."

Kuai Liang smiled. Since when did they talk about him behind his back? And for something as something like this, no less.

Using chopsticks, he dipped it into the sauce and took a bite. Divine.

"What are we going to do with the rest?" Kuai Liang pointed to them with his chin, "Even if we could eat all of them, I doubt that would be a good idea."

He barked a laugh, "No, but I am sure Kimiko-chan would appreciate these new eggs, especially now that these can be refrigerated in marinated sauce."

Kuai Liang hummed. And once he was done with the tamago, Hanzo stored the remaining ones in a dark and flavorful sauce before placing it in a small fridge that only he owned. But Hanzo was right, and sure enough, the little girl did enjoy those eggs. And the next day, and the next day after that. Hungry as ever, with a craving for ramen as usual.

"Slow down, Kimiko-chan, no one is going to steal your food," Hanzo gently chided. Little Kimiko slowed, abashed, but clearly went on consuming her ramen with visible gusto despite the restraint.

Hanzo said it so plainly, like he telling the truth, which obviously he was, but that was it - he told the truth.

No one is going to steal your food.

[thesunicarusfellfor]

Regeneration Potion (Plat!C!Tommyinnit x Witch!F!Reader)

TW: Mentions of Dream's actions during Tommy's exile INCLUDING his un alive moment. YES I KNOW TUBBO CAN HAVE MORE THAN ONE FRIEND. SHUSH. PLOT.

Reader wears a dress most of the time. Also Tommy is around 17 (I forgot his canon age sorry)

I might make this a series!

☆Tommy P.O.V☆

His hotel was taken over.. His house was practically empty.. He was stared at everywhere he went.. His best friend replaced him instantly without much of a second thought.. His brother was dead, his other brother probably wanted to spill his guts for switching sides... He had... Nothing...

He had died for God's sake! Sure, he didn't expect people to immediately bawl their eyes out at the news, but he didn't expect to be brushed off so damn quick! He didn't expect the person he betrayed his brother for to replace him so quickly! He didn't... he... Was... Tubbo really his friend? He exiled him without checking up on him... He... He moved on so.. quick..

Standing over the giant crater once known as L'manberg, now covered with a thick sheet of glass... He wrapped his arms around himself and gave a sigh. In the distance, he could see Ranboo and Tubbo running around, most likely gathering materials for Sam Nook...

Gritting his teeth tightly, he felt a familiar burning behind his eyes before he stood up from a pile of dirt he claimed as a temporary chair. It took all of his power not to scream in emotional agony as he stormed away from the sight of his old best friend with someone else who he claimed as his new bestfriend.

Don't turn back...

With a few iron ingots and a low durability netherite sword to his name, Tommy walked as quickly as he could away from the memories. The sacrifices. The pain. The lonely feeling...

He had easily walked for a few hours, trying his hardest to find an area completely secluded from everything and everyone.

If they moved on once... They can move on twice..

He wanted to hold on.. He wanted to keep every little memory and object that he found comforting... But now... Everything he looked at caused a sharp pain to jolt through his heart...

He glanced up at the biome around him, only to frown slightly. It was a Dark Forest... But there was many problems..

He knew there were some large mushrooms, but he had never seen massive flowers bigger than a mansion! Everything... Felt weird... Somethings were incredibly varied in sizes! He spun around in awe as he stared at the different sized flowers and mushrooms scattered around him. Then... fear struck into his heart again...

Wilbur... He told him a story about a forest far to the north of L'manberg... Trees bigger than the eye could see, mushrooms taller than a house or smaller than a fingernail, flowers being anywhere from a millimeter tall to miles high into the air, all because of the land was protected by a Witch.

In the story, Wilbur said that only the lost and lonely would find that forest out of desperation to find salvation...

The Forest of the Forgotten...

His lips parted in surprise and he spun around to exit the land, in fear of upsetting the witch... Only to find a silhouette standing against the light a few inches away from him.

A not so manly scream tore from his throat and he hurriedly threw himself backwards, raising his arms above his head as he landed on the ground, "I'm sorry, Dream! I promise not to wander off again! Please don't take my stuff! Please I don't have anything left! Please...! Please!" He begged, tears spilling from his eyes as he scrambled backwards until he hit a tree. Tommy didn't even hear the foot steps wandering closer until a purple light rose into view.

He took a few gasps for air as he slowly lowered his hands. 'Dream's in prison. He's not here. He's not gonna hurt you again..' He carefully rose his gaze, only to see...

A young woman... She looked... Around his age!

She was kneeling on the ground a few feet away from him, just... Watching him. A black pointy hat was balanced on her (h/l) (h/c) hair that was nicely framing her (s/t) face. Her eyes were analyzing his every movement as they surged with purple flames... But they weren't threatening or violent... They were curious but calm..

He stared at her for a solid few seconds before realizing that the soft purple glow was coming from a ball of coloured fire in her hand. Mesmerized by the energy, Tommy hardly noticed when a dull pink glow appeared in his vision, only when the woman made effort to talk, did he notice.

"I... Don't know who Dream is.. But, I'm not here to take your stuff. That's a promise." She smiled softly, and moved her hand that held the pink glow closer to him. It... Was a Regeneration Potion. "Here, you look a little... Uhm... How do I say this nicely... Torn up...?"

Tommy couldn't hold back a frown as he rubbed his eyes free of tears. He forgot that his injuries from Dream hadn't healed yet... And probably wouldn't be healed for a long time. "Thanks... I guess.." He grumbled in an attempt to save whatever dignity he had left.

While he was considered naive, he wasn't stupid. He knew not to trust strangers immediately, so he uncorked the bottle and smelt it as he analyzed the colour to make sure it was really regeneration potion. At first, he wasn't going to drink it, but he quickly remembered that it wasn't like he had anything to lose, so he took a small sip.

It was dangerously sweet, much sweeter than Phil or Techno's potions, but it definitely wasn't awful and it for certain wasn't poison. He rolled his shoulders as he continued to sip at the potion while she stood up.

Dusting her black robe and dark (f/c) dress of any dirt, despite them being already dirty and a bit tattered, the (h/c) woman stood up and continued to clean the dirt off. "It will be getting dark soon... I'm not much of a fighter, so I will not be able to fend for the both of us if need be. Do you have a shelter nearby or would you like to seek refuge with me for the night?"

Did this crazy woman not know the meaning of stranger danger?

☆Your P.O.V☆

No matter how much you threw yourself into your studies, the looming loneliness never seemed to leave you..

Keeping to your daily routine, you begrudgingly lifted yourself out of bed and sat down at your vanity, glaring at your reflection that bared knotted hair and sleepy (e/c) eyes. Your non dominant hand stretched out towards your closet and watched as your irises lit up a bright surging purple, activating your magic. Your dominant hand began to run a brush through your hair while your other hand controlled the magic that was currently being used to sort through the row of clothes in your closet. Once you found an outfit that you deemed adequate, you made a quick gesture with your hand that caused the clothing to float onto your bed.

It didn't take very long to get ready, I mean, come on, you were in a large forest miles away from the closest village! It's not like you were going to be seeing anyone for a few more centuries.

Your house was cozy and rather small, but it housed you and your black cat Salem comfortably. It was nice and quiet where you lived.. Albeit dark and lonely..

The trees often covered the sun and prevented you from knowing what time it was, but you had stopped caring about the date long ago. It never mattered to you anyway.

"Yeah, yeah. Quit meowing. You act like you haven't eaten in a year." You rolled your eyes at the dramatic feline as you prepared your own breakfast first. Salem kept meowing loudly, standing beside her food bowl and swatting it every so often until you used your magic to toss a fish to her. "You done with your whining now? Big baby."

You rolled your eyes as you sat down with your bowl and quickly ate the fruits you had sliced up. Downside to living here, you primarily survived off of fruits and berries because animals rarely wandered into the forest, and if they did, well you kept them for their resources like milk or eggs or wool.

With a small sigh, you got up and washed your bowl, via magic so you didn't have to feel the burning sensation of the water on your skin, as you contemplated what you were going to do today.

Eventually you decided on going to walk through the forest to find more animals or scavenge for more fruits. Throwing your bag over your shoulder, you double checked that it was stocked up with healing and regeneration potions just in case, only to throw your shoes on. Waving good bye to your lazy annoying cat, that you still love regardless, you shut the door and walked down the path.

The silence was normal... But god it was deafening when something stepped on a branch or when one of your chickens decided to give a particularly loud squawk, but it did indeed heighten your senses.

Giving a sigh, you rose your hand and a purple pulse flew from your hand then trailed down your body and travelled through the forest. Your magic didn't detect anything out of the ordinary except for once thing near the entrance.

"Ah.. God.. Please don't be a zombie.. I'm not a fighter.." You whispered under your breath before setting off towards the untouched and overgrown entrance of the forest.

Arriving to the main path, you looked over a little bit to see a tall blond male spinning around in absolute awe of the forest.

He then took a sharp breath and spun around, almost immediately coming face to face with you. The loudest scream you had ever heard left the boy and he quickly stumbled backwards until he fell to the ground and hit a tree, "I'm sorry, Dream! I promise not to wander off again! Please don't take my stuff! Please I don't have anything left! Please...! Please!" He practically cried apologies while he curled into a wall.

'What kind of reaction was that?!' You thought curiously as you kneeled down a few feet in front of him. Assuming that the dark had freaked him out, you summoned a ball of fire and held it out, using the time to study the strange boy. His dirty shirt was ripped and torn in several places, his skin was decorated with mud, soot, cuts, bruises and scars and his cheeks were damp with tears. His breath was turning into gasps as his thin frame shook violently.

"Hey... Are you okay?"

He didn't seem to hear as he began murmuring quietly to himself, rocking back and forth a small bit to calm himself down. After a few moments, he lowered his arms and stared blankly at the magic in your palm.

Seeing the injuries on his pale skin, you dug into your bag and pulled out a glowing pink potion before holding it out to him. He didn't seem to notice it until you cleared your throat. "I... Don't know who Dream is.. But, I'm not here to take your stuff. That's a promise." You smiled as politely as possible, and moved your hand that held the potion closer to him. "Here, you look a little... Uhm... How do I say this nicely... Torn up...?"

The male grumbled a bit under his breath but looked genuinely thankful as he took a small sip of the potion. After deeming it wasn't poisoned, he began to take larger drinks of it.

"It will be getting dark soon... I'm not much of a fighter, so I will not be able to fend for the both of us if need be. Do you have a shelter nearby or would you like to seek refuge with me for the night?"

Honestly... The face he made amused you quite a bit...

[elisaphoenix13]

Bonding With Clay

Tony woke with a soft groan and rolled onto his side to throw his arm around Stephen and buried his nose in the back of his neck. He even hooked a leg over Stephen's and ground his hips against his ass until the younger man hugged and swatted back at him.

"Tony, no. There's a child in our bed and I have to go to Kamar-taj today." Stephen mumbles.

Tony cracks his eyes open and lifts his head to look over Stephen and sighs when he finds Valerie cocooned against the sorcerer. "Doesn't she have her own bed?"

"She had a nightmare."

"What about William?" Tony complains and Stephen chuckles.

"You know as well as I do that there are some things parents can do that siblings can't." The sorcerer pushes Tony's face away. "Go brush your teeth."

"Absolutely not. You have to suffer my morning breath now." Tony laughs and kisses Stephen. It only lasted a few seconds before the younger was pushing him away again with a look of disgust.

"I can even taste it!"

Tony laughs again and rolls back over to get out of bed and shuffle into their bathroom to brush his teeth. As he passed Lucy's crib, he found her wide awake and sitting up, patiently gnawing on her teething ring...which she fondly chucked at his head. It was her way of saying good morning and also her way of showing that she liked someone. Fortunately she only threw soft things at people. The more dangerous items were chucked at something random. Like the lab incident.

So he and Stephen considered themselves lucky. Of course they still tried to get her to stop, but she was stubborn like her parents. Lucy did what she wanted.

"Just a minute Lulu. I've been ordered to wash my mouth and you know how Mom is." Tony says and grabs his toothbrush. Lucy babbles in a way a baby might be offended and Tony looks into the bedroom to look at Stephen as he gets out of bed as well. "Y'hear that?"

"She always has something to say." Stephen scoffs as he fixes the blankets over Valerie. "It'll be you, Lucy, and Valerie today. The kids have school and classes, I have things to check on in Kamar-taj, and everyone else is busy."

Tony spits into the sink after rinsing and frowns. "I don't mind, but Val never seems to enjoy our time together."

"She's getting better." Stephen sighs.

It was true...for the most part. Valerie wasn't completely reliant on Stephen anymore ever since the twins came to live with them. She adored William, and of course she loved Tony, but she and her father had yet to find something to bond over. She loved reading and the piano like Stephen just like Lucy loved being in the lab with Tony. He would figure something out though. Maybe tough out sitting through The Little Mermaid for the fourteen hundredth time? That was Valerie's favorite movie.

"You taking the cloak?" Tony asks.

"Mmhmm." Stephen responds as he brushes his teeth.

"Athena?" Another noise of approval. "Right... we'll figure it out."

"Mmnnbbbftt!" Lucy babbles.

Tony leaves the bathroom and takes the baby out of her crib. "I heard you the first time, bossy."

"If that isn't evidence enough that she takes after you--" Stephen starts until Tony points at him.

"She could have just as easily gotten it from you Duchess."

Stephen chuckles and walks back over to the bed when Valerie sits up and rubs her eyes. While he got ready for the day and explained to the little girl that she would be spending the day with her father and sister, Tony got himself and Lucy ready for the day. His mind was already occupied with how he would spend the day with the girls since Valerie had no interest in the lab, and everything led to Disney movies and tea parties. Not that he had anything against either of those since he was used to it, but he had tried that before and Valerie just didn't seem as interested as she would usually be.

It sort of made him feel like a failure as a father. There had to be something they would enjoy doing together right? Hell, even Lucy enjoyed being run around by Thomas.

"What sounds good for breakfast topolina?" Tony asks as Valerie climbs down from the bed.

"Fwench toast."

Well, that was easy. "French toast it is." Tony says.

Stephen crouches in front of Valerie when he finishes getting dressed and brushes her hair back. "I'll be back later. Have fun with Daddy, okay?"

"Okay."

Stephen kisses her forehead and gets back up to grab his sling ring off the nightstand, and waits just long enough after opening a gateway to wait for Levi to fly into the room and hang on his shoulders. Then he and Athena were through the gateway and it closed behind him, leaving Valerie to stare forlornly at the space it had been. Tony gently pats her head before leading her out of the master bedroom.

"Where's Mooey? Why don't you go get him and you can help me with breakfast." Tony suggests.

"Can we have fwuit?" She asks softly.

"We sure can." Tony smiles. "We can even have some chocolate chips on our french toast if you want."

Valerie smiles and nods before skittering away to her room to find her stuffed cow. A smile from a promise if chocolate chips was a good start to their day, and he would make sure they had a fruit salad with all of her favorites. So with that thought in mind, he descends the stairs to the kitchen where he deposits Lucy into her high chair and answers her demands when she smacks her hands on her tray.

"You are your mother's daughter...but don't tell him I said that." Tony mumbles and searches through the cupboards for the baby cereal puffs. "Look at that! Apple cinnamon flavor, your favorite!"

He pulls out the container and opens it to pour a dozen pieces onto Lucy's tray and she immediately grabs one and pops it into her mouth, humming happily. Lucy would be fed some proper breakfast later, but the puffs would tide her over until he and Valerie cooked and ate their own food. When he started to grab all they would need to make breakfast, Valerie finally joined him with Mooey in one of her arms, and he grabbed a step stool for her to use.

He gave her the easier tasks such as cracking the eggs and putting some cinnamon in them before it was whisked, and while he cooked the french toast, she washed the fruit. Strawberries, grapes, bananas, and even some kiwi were thrown into a bowl after Tony helped her cut them into pieces, and Valerie carefully mixed them together before stepping down from the stool and carrying the bowl to the table. It was amazing how independent Valerie was already being in her own way. She loved helping any way she could and even got a little upset when something was beyond her capabilities. Like when Stephen got sick. She was able to help make him soup but not much else and hated that there wasn't more she could do to make her mommy feel better.

William had to distract her most of the time, and the other times he had to reassure her. Tony and Stephen didn't like the girls to go into their room if one of them were sick because they didn't want them to get sick too.

"Here we go. Piping hot toast with…" Tony makes a show of topping Valerie's french toast with a few chocolate chips and she giggles. "Chocolate chips as promised. Buon appetito."

"Tank you Daddy," Valerie says softly when he places the plate on the table in front of her. He cuts it up for her before kissing her temple and then gets his own plate before sitting across from her.

"Want syrup?" He asks and grabs the syrup dispenser he had filled with warm syrup and pours a little bit on her toast.

"Ba!" Lucy reaches out and Tony chuckles and puts a drop on his finger to stick in her mouth.

"There. Like it? You don't get anymore." Tony says as Lucy sucks on his finger.

Tony made quick work of his french toast and fruit so he could feed Lucy before she started to demand more syrup. He grabbed a jar of chicken and rice--which made him gag a little when he opened it-- and a spoon, then offered a spoonful to the infant. He really didn't understand how babies could like the meat purees. He didn't dare try it in case it tasted as bad as it smelled, and the vegetables weren't much better. Tony was seriously considering giving the task of feeding Lucy her meat and vegetables to the Avengers.

Or the boys if they misbehaved. He knew for a fact the smell hit Peter harder.

"All done." Valerie announces.

"Great job." Tony glances at her plate. "You sure polished your plate. Go ahead and go watch your movie while I finish feeding your sister."

"Kay."

Valerie gets down from her chair and grabs her plate, carrying it to the sink and carefully lifting it up to drop it in. She checked her hands to see if they needed to be washed, found them clean, and shuffled to the living room and asked Friday to put on her favorite movie. Tony smiled and finished feeding Lucy and cleaned her up before taking her to the playpen in the living room, and then returned to the kitchen to clean up the mess. With how quiet things were, Tony honestly would have forgotten that Valerie was even there. All he heard was the tv and Lucy...and the water running.

How Stephen and William remembered her when she was this quiet was nothing short of amazing, but the thought sounded terrible to him at the same time. He didn't forget about Valerie, not by a long shot, but if someone told him they came by and took her to do something, he would be inclined to believe them. But she was sitting on the couch with Mooey clutched in her arms when he finally finished cleaning up and sat on the couch next to her.

"So...I thought of an idea." Tony smiles when Valerie looks up at him.

"Idea?"

"Yup. I think Tibbs is around here somewhere and he's due for his next pedicure."

Valerie's eyes brighten and she giggles. "Dia and Cassie do that!"

"Well I think it's our turn."

The little girl hopped off the couch to go find the pet safe nail polish and Tony looked around for the cat. It didn't take long to find Tibbs dozing in a patch of sunlight on the floor and the feline protested with an annoyed meow when Tony scooped him up.

"I don't know why you bother throwing a fit." Tony snorts as he carries Tibbs back over to the coffee table where Valerie was already waiting. "What color is he getting today topolina?"

"Purple!"

Tony laughs. "Purple it is."

Once Tony sets Tibbs down, Valerie gently takes one of the cat's paws and carefully applies the polish to each nail. Tibbs, the ever chill cat, sat calmly after yawning and patiently let the little girl do his nails. He was more than used to letting the girls do stuff like this to him and knew eventually they would finish and let him go so Tony wasn't worried about him scratching. All the other animals got pedicures as well.

Even Emir.

"Tibbs gets tweats!" Valerie says after finishing.

"He sure does. You know where they are." Tony says and Valerie gets up to retrieve the cat treats.

She shook the bag as she returned from the lower cabinets in the kitchen, and Tony laughed when the cat's ears perked up. Tony helped his daughter open the bag and she grabbed a small handful which she held out and let Tibbs eat straight from her hand. While the cat purred contently, Tony glanced over at Lucy to find the baby fast asleep with her teething ring still in her mouth.

"Where's the Play-Doh Uncle Steve got you?" Tony asks and Valerie points towards her room. "Go get it. We'll make some sculptures."

"You too?" She asks.

"Me too. You can show me how to make flowers."

Once again, the little girl scurried away, leaving Tony with The Little Mermaid to fill the silence, but soon enough, Valerie came back with an armful of containers of Play-Doh. She sets them down on the coffee table before sitting on Tony's lap, and he smiles as she starts opening the containers and taking out the clay. They spent the next couple of hours shaping the clay into different things, from flowers to Tony's suits, until they were rudely interrupted by Lucy's teething ring. Specifically when it sailed into the air and hit the side of Tony's head.

"I'm guessing it's time for lunch." Tony snorts and lifts Valerie out of his lap, groaning as he gets up from the floor. "Daddy's getting too old for this."

"Burro di arachidi e gelatina?" Valerie requests.

"Yes ma'am. With milk." Tony says as he walks over to the playpen and picks up Lucy. He sniffs and grimaces. "After I change your sister."

Valerie wrinkles her nose. "Yucky."

"You said it. You finish your sculpture and then we can make lunch and watch a movie. Sound good?" Tony asks.

"Uh-huh."

Tony couldn't believe he was worried about this just this morning. He enjoyed playing with the clay with Valerie, and he was pretty sure she enjoyed herself too. He made a mental note to think of more things to do for the future days like this, with another side note to think of things that Lucy could eventually join in on. The baby was growing up fast and wouldn't be content to stay in the playpen forever.

"Phew." Tony reels back a little when he opens the baby's diaper once he gets her on the changing table in the master bathroom. "Are you taking lessons from Harley?"

[namariea]

Devil’s Advocate | I

“So for argument’s sake... let’s just say Do Kyungsoo really is the boring square you say he is..” 

“Don’t you want to find out what makes him tick?”

Pairing: Kyungsoo x Reader

Words: 4.4k

Genre: Romance, Slowburn, Smut

It started with a knock on your door.

“Jongin is coming over tonight, that cool?”

Looking up from your laptop screen, you stared at your roommate who was leaning against your doorway. Blinking slowly, you processed her words.

“Jongin is coming over.”

“Yes, that’s what I just said.”

“And will Mr. Kim be staying over?”

“That would be a correct assumption, yes.”

“Sleeping in your room.”

“Why, did you want him to sleep here with you? Not what I was expecting, but I’m all down for polygamy.”

With a sigh, you saved the document you were working on and began to close your laptop. Collecting the various papers and books scattered around you, you began to tuck them away neatly into your backpack. Sliding off of the bed, you walked the length of the room and began to rifle through your drawers, pulling out some clothes.

Frowning, Jennie walked over to you and looked over your shoulder as you began refolding them and putting them in a gym bag.

“What are you doing?”

“I have a paper I need to finish proofing for tomorrow and I highly doubt I will get any work done with the two of you going at it like animals.”

Jennie didn’t even look fazed at the comment, shrugging non committedly while throwing some pajama shorts your way. Rolling your eyes you passed through the joined bathroom and threw in your toiletries. As you were zipping up your bag a knock came at the door causing you to pause.

Well, that was fast.

Turning around, you looked at the brunette behind you with raised eyebrows, and only then she had the decency to look the slightest bit sheepish.

“Have I told you how much I love you today?”

With your roommate trailing at your heels blabbering about how you are the greatest roommate ever and how she owes you a life debt, you opened the front door and were greeted with Jongin holding what appeared to be a party sized bucket of KFC. Before he could open his mouth you stuck out your hand, waiting.

Blinking down at your outstretched palm, he gave you a confused look.

“Keys. Since you are kicking me out of my bed I’m taking yours”

Jennie snorted behind you as Jongin’s face split into a wide grin.

“You know, I always knew you were a great person.” fishing out his keys from his pocket he handed them to you.

Slinging your bag over your shoulder, you gave the couple a wave of your hand and began to make your way down the hall. You were halfway to the elevators when Jongin's loud voice stopped you.

“Oh by the way, Kyungsoo isn’t around tonight, so feel free to raid the fridge before he gets back.”

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Jongin’s presence at your apartment wasn’t a new occurrence.

In the beginning, it was just him coming over during the day to help Jennie with her design assignments. Which was ok, amazing actually, since it helped her out a lot and saved you dealing with her stress meltdowns.

Then it progressed to Jongin appearing at your dinner table every Friday to partake in Chinese takeout nights. Which was fine, again, since he picked it up on his way over and pitched in. He also somehow was able to sweet talk the old woman who owned the store and managed to get extra egg rolls. Can’t go wrong with that.

It wasn’t until Jennie gave you the look while the older boy excused himself to use the bathroom after one said dinner that you took the hint.

Now, Jongin occasionally stays over during the weekends, where you would find him in the living room at ungodly hours watching the Pirates of the Carribean all the while eating a family sized package of oreo’s. Which was mildly perturbing on two counts. First, was the fact that this was probably the 5th time you’ve seen him watch that movie, and second, those were your oreos.

The final straw was not until the weekend that just past where you were woken up a loud banging. It was not until you were  halfway to Jennie’s door in a frantic scramble that your sleep deprived brain caught up with you and realized it was very much not a violent murder taking place in the room over.

Animals.

It was then you all agreed to establish some sort of door-sock system.

Which in essence was - if Jongin was coming over, it was probably best to just find somewhere else to crash.

You didn’t actually mind leaving as much as you thought you would. Jennie was one of your closests friends and it was clear as day that Jongin made her happy. You didn’t even mind hanging out with the guy, he was fun and always brought snacks in return for practically living at your place. Even if his tastes in movies were highly questionable.

It was just sometimes - like right now where you had a Business Ethics paper due at 7AM - where you needed all the quiet you could get.

Reaching the apartment, you slotted the key into the lock, you pushed open the door to Jongin and Kyungsoo’s apartment. Stepping through the threshold you were greeted by darkness.

Flicking on the lights you took in the apartment. You had been in the apartment a handful of times when Chanyeol threw parties, but this was the first time you had been there on your own, literally.

From the neatly organized coffee table to the dust-less surfaces as far as the eye can see, the state of the apartment very much reflected that of the other owner - there was no way anyone would believe the human tornado that was Kim Jongin lived here otherwise.

Speaking of the other owner -

“Kyungsoo?”

Thank goodness for small mercies.

Do Kyungsoo, best friend of Jongin and probably the biggest enigma you've ever met. Not only was he more reserved and mild tempered in comparison to his flatmate, but he was the only one in your mutual friend group that you couldn’t bring yourself to get close to.

It wasn’t for a lack of trying, mind you. And to Kyungsoo’s credit he has never been rude to you, though you wouldn’t necessarily call it friendly either. Cordial at best...maybe. His deposition towards you, and apparently anyone who didn’t know him before the year 2015 was polite but distant. He was so different from the rest of his friends that one day Jennie had asked Jongin how he and Kyungsoo even lived together.

“We met freshman year-”  Jongin said while spooning a mountain of orange chicken onto his plate.

“We were paired up as roommates and we just clicked - Kyungsoo is a great guy, he’s actually pretty hilarious”

“Really?” Jennie leaned in, abandoning her lo mein to gape at the man next to her.

“Its true!” Jongin said defensively at her expression, “how do I explain it-"

"You kind of have to approach him first, and then see how he responds. He just needs time to warm up to you, you'll see."

Now, you weren’t sure if Kyungsoo had ‘warmed up to you’ yet, but you definitely saw the man’s look of disgust as he caught you making kraft dinner in the microwave that one time during finals last semester.

Hot tip - never make microwave kraft dinner in front of a Culinary Arts major.

Checking your watch and noting it was half past ten, you settled down cross-legged at the coffee table in the living room. Pulling out your laptop and notes, you organized it all in front of you before rolling your neck and flexing your fingers.

“Now, where was I-”

After what seems like the hundredth time going over the same words over and over again, desperately making sure you didn’t have any spelling mistakes and that your citations were all correct, you finally hit save for the last time. Tapping the screen of your phone you brought it up to your face as you leant back against the couch, squinting as the time appeared.

2:35 AM

Stretching, you lifted yourself from your sitting position and began packing your laptop and papers away.

Exhausted, you crawled your way up onto the couch, pulled the Captain America themed throw blanket over your tired body, and closed your eyes, waiting for sleep to take you.

Which should have been an easy task.

Except Jongin apparently decided to buy the cheapest couch in Ikea.

No wonder the man lived on your sofa, he has never known true comfort.

Huffing, you sat up begrudgingly, groaning as your body objected to the movement. You glanced down the darkened hallway and pursed your lips.

Taking your bags you began shuffling down the hallway and stopped in front of one of the doors that was ajar. Slowly pushing it open you hesitantly stuck your head in. The sight of the various Mangas scattered on the floor confirmed that you had found the right bedroom.

I mean, there are worse places to sleep.

Making your way further into the room, you kicked the door closed as you made quick work of stripping out of your clothes and changing into your pajamas. You all but dove into the bed, not caring that it was unmade or that you probably should have changed the sheets. A content sigh escaped you as you sank into the mattress, sleep taking over.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Waking with a start, you were momentarily disoriented as you took in your surroundings. Blinking blearily around, it took a few seconds to remember where you were and why your bed smelled like Old Spice.

Ah, right.

Groaning, you glanced at the window and took in the darkness still.

You tried to close your eyes in hopes that you would be able to catch a few more minutes of sleep. However, instead of slipping into blissful sleep you found yourself tossing and turning, body restless in any position you put it in.

Pressing the heels of your palms into your eyes you lay there for a few moments. Blindly reaching towards the side table you fumbled with your phone, squinting as the screen illuminated your vision.

5:50 am

There is no God.

Finally accepting that you were not going to get any more sleep, you begrudgingly slid out of bed. Stretching, you began to make your way to the door, stifling a yawn as you opened it.

And immediately screamed.

“WHAT THE F- Kyungsoo?”

Standing in front of you was a hooded figure, looking just as startled as you were. Hand grasping the handle leading to the room directly across the hall, Kyungsoo had turned at the sound of Jongin’s door opening and his eyes widened almost comically at your presence.

As the fuzziness of sleep was lifted you realized that it must have been the sound Kyungsoo entering the apartment that woke you up. And judging from the incredulous look he was giving you, Jongin must not have told him you were there. Taking in his baseball cap and casual attire, you felt your eyebrows furrow.

Did he just get back?

You watched as his eyes slid down and you were suddenly very much aware of the lopsided bun that had come half undone in your sleep and the thin material of your pajamas. His eyes then darted from your own to the bedroom and back, eyebrows furrowing.

Your eyes widened at the silent question glinting in those dark eyes. Your hands immediately flew up as you began sputtering.

“It's not what it looks like!“ you began frantically and he only lifted a dark brow higher in a silent bid for you to continue. “Jongin was staying over at our place last night and I came here to give them privacy, you know how they are, it’s like National Geographic except nobody asked for it”

He shot you a bemused look.

You felt yourself flush and looked at the space of the wall next to his head “And well, I didn't get kicked out of my own bed to sleep on a couch… So I slept... in here" gesturing to the bedroom behind you awkwardly.

There was another beat of silence.

Great. Fantastic. Realll smooth. It seemed that without fail, every time you are in the immediate presence of the man across from you, you feel yourself suddenly tense up. Which is stupid, considering the fact that you are friends (distant acquaintances), and have been around each other for months now and got along great (cordial at best), surely by now you can have a normal conversation at the very least.

Speaking of conversation, you also become hyperaware of the fact that the other person in the hallway has yet to say a single word to you. Palms beginning to sweat, you began to scramble to think of something - anything - to cut the silence. As if your insane ramblings weren’t bad enough. He probably thinks you’re even more of a raging lunatic, compounded with what happened last semester. Why, why, of all things why did you have to crave Kraft Dinner for fucks sake-

“I see.”

Your inner monologue was cut short by a low reply. it seemed Kyungsoo deemed your answer acceptable, nodding slowly to himself.

You almost felt your body sag in relief, shifting your weight on the balls of your feet.

As another beat of silence passed, you fidgeted again as you were regarded by the dark haired man. Kyungsoo had yet to make any move towards his own room and you suddenly didn’t know what to do with your hands.

Someone kill me.

You cleared your throat, “Umm...so now that that's cleared up… I’m just going to... go over...there” gesturing to the bathroom. You didn’t even wait for him to answer you as you powered your way past him and slipped into the bathroom, pressing your back against the door as it closed behind you.

You waited with baited breath as you heard silence from the hallway. Eventually after what felt like an eternity, there was a shuffling of feet, and the clicking of a door closing from down the hall.

Silently making the motion of bashing your head against the door, you let out a deep breath. Shaking your head you flicked on the light and picked up Jongin’s papaya face wash.

I mean, that could have been worse.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Making your way across campus, you faltered slightly as a yawn made its way through you. After submitting your paper to your professor's dropbox you had spent the day catching up on the never ending tasks you had on your to-do list. You had holed yourself up at the campus library and it wasn’t until your stomach decided to do its best impression of a Harley Davidson that you decided it was probably best to call it a day.

Pulling out your phone you pulled out a delivery app and started browsing the menu for the greek place a block down from your apartment. Flicking through the menu, you contemplated between the Pork Souvlaki or the Chicken gyro...maybe Jennie would be willing to go half and ha-.

You halted on the sidewalk.

Right.

Jennie.

Jennie who is currently still at your apartment.

With Jongin.

Well, shit.

Switching to your messages you sent a text to Jennie.

You: All clear?

You watched with bated breath as the three dots appeared at the bottom.

A sock emoji.

Lovely.

Sitting down at a nearby bench, you began sending out a barrage of texts.

After about 20 minutes of asking around you found out that Jisoo was out of town seeing her parents, Rose’s apartment building was apparently being fumigated for the second time this month and Seulgi was having Irene and Wendy over and you didn’t think you wanted to be part of whatever freaky party those three were going to have.

With every text that came in you felt yourself slowly deflate more and more. Placing your hand in your jacket, you grasped the keys that were in your pocket. They felt heavier than they should be.

There was one other option.

Grimacing, you flushed as you remembered the painfully awkward conversation you exchanged with a particular dark haired man this morning. There was no doubt in your mind that he would be home if you went over now, and you didn’t even want to begin imagining how this interaction will go.

You bit down on your bottom lip in worry as you brain tried playing out the various scenarios in your head. All in all, Kyungsoo didn’t seem to care all that much this morning, but then again when have you ever seen Kyungsoo care about anything.

Come on, think. Well, what do we know...

He is a mutual friend (questionable), for starters. If you both are able to get along with the dumperfire that is your friend group you have to have something in common.. Right?

You stopped fiddling with the keys in your pocket as the realization hit you.

Pulling up your contacts you scanned down the list before pressing ‘call’.

“Oi, Jongin. Does Kyungsoo like Greek?”

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Turns out no, Kyungsoo does not, in fact, like Greek.

According to Jongin, Kyungsoo is obsessed with this weird hole-in-the-wall Italian place that had handmade pasta. What was supposed to be a 10 minute walk ended up taking 45 minutes as you got lost 3 times, and once you finally found the store the doors were locked. What restaurant shuts down from 3 to 5 on a Friday?

Hipster pasta makers, apparently.

It was lost to you what the appeal was, but if there was anything that you learned in the years as a young adult living on their own, it was that there were two sure-fire ways to bond with someone:

Get drunk

Eat good food while drunk

The latter was not necessarily limited to ‘good’ food - after a few shots to you a McNugget is like a Michelen meal. However you had a gut feeling that Kyungsoo wouldn’t be too welcoming if you showed up with tacos and tequila.

So did you wait around for an hour and a half just to order something you could have bought as Lean Cuisine?

You bet your ass you did.

Because nothing says I’m sorry I know we barely know each other but our friends are banging so were kind of stuck together quite like overpriced spaghetti and meatballs.

Adjusting the paper bag in your arms you walked up to the familiar door. Fumbling with the key you finally managed to wedge it open and stepped through the threshold.

Unlike the last time you entered the apartment, this time you weren’t met with silence. The lights were already on and the sound of the TV filtered throughout the apartment. Toeing off your shoes and arranging them neatly next to the pair by the door.

Arms full of take out you were all of a sudden nervous to turn the corner.

You are once again reminded of the fact that you are very much not close with this man and this will probably be the first time you ever said more than 4 sentences to him in one sitting. And now you are about to have dinner together, alone.

"You kind of have to approach him first, and then see how he responds. He just needs time to warm up to you, you'll see"

Kim Jongin don’t you fail me now.  

Kyungsoo was sitting on the couch looking at his phone when you entered the living room. He immediately looked up and you watched his eyes widen marginally at your presence, clearly not expecting you back.

“I…” The mini speech you had been preparing during the 12 minute walk to the apartment died in your throat as you made eye contact with the dark haired man in front of you. The look he gave you left you momentarily thrown, it was a look that instantly made you think that he was annoyed with you with the way his eyebrows were drawn and the slight frown tugging at the corners of his mouth.

It wasn’t until you saw Kyungsoo’s eyes slide to the bag in your arms briefly, and the slightest flicker of curiosity gave you the courage to push on.

“Jongin is still my place,” you offered, and watched as his eyes flit back to meet your own.

“So,” you continued, shifting the bag in your arms, “I brought some dinner, as a peace offering of sorts, I guess. I hope you’re hungry, because they gave us enough garlic bread to feed a small Italian village.” you let out an awkward laugh.

Kyungsoo looked at you as if you had grown a second head. You didn’t blame him, but you were too far gone to back down now, even if the man was giving you a shoulder so cold it could freeze Sahara.

Making your way into the kitchen you placed the bag on the counter and began taking plates out of the cabinets, trying to keep your trembling hands busy.

Stupid, stupid, this whole idea was stupid.

As you were transferring the food from the containers you heard a slight rustling behind you.

You almost turned around when you didn’t hear anything else, but then a deep voice spoke up, albeit hesitantly.

“Is that from Giulietta’s?”

Stiffening a smile you did not respond to the man immediately when he materialized at your side.

Humming in affirmation you handed him his plate, which he took slowly, eyeing the food suspiciously.

I swear, this guy.

It wasn’t until you had dished out your own plate that you turned to him finally and gave him what you hoped was a friendly smile.

“So, have you watched the new season of Great British Bakeoff?”

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

“Have a nice weekend? Actually don’t answer that, I really don’t want to know.” You didn’t even look up from your laptop as Jennie slid into the seat next to you at your morning lecture.

“Jongin has been doing ballet for years, I swear I never knew a body could bend like-”

“Ew. Gross Jennie, it’s 9AM”

“I have no concept of time anymore, the man wouldn’t let me sleep-”

“Jennifer, please, this is a sacred place.”

“This is Introduction to Environmental Science, most of the people here are too worried about cleaning baby ducks with Dawn soap than to eavesdrop”

Groaning you buried your head in your hands and took a deep breath. You really should have stopped by the Cafe next door and got some coffee, you aren’t nearly coherent enough to deal with this.

“Hey,” Jennie started, pulling you from your thoughts.

“Thanks again for stepping out and giving us the apartment for the weekend, I really appreciate it”

“You’re lucky I like you.

“Oh please-”

“-I barely got out of there alive.”

“Come on, it couldn’t have been that bad.”

It wasn’t, actually.

Last night you and Kyungoo had sat in their living room and watched the Great British Bakeoff while you ate your dinner. You thanked whatever higher power there was that Kyungsoo was not a stickler for eating at the dinner table. Or maybe he was, but also thought this situation was incredibly awkward and also wanted some sort of distraction to avoid having to make small talk.

It wasn’t wholly unpleasant, you actually found yourself mildly enjoying yourself. He was a man of a few words but every now and again he would sprinkle in some choice commentary here and there, making noncommittal noises when a contestant added a new ingredient.

Odd fellow, this one.

He was polite enough to stick around for a couple of episodes before standing and offering to take your plate.

“Would you like something else? Jongin keeps ice cream sandwiches in the fridge”

“Oh...no, I’m ok thanks”

You were absolutely going to have one later.

Giving a curt nod, he walked back to the kitchen to wash the dishes. After a few minutes he returned to the living room, shifting uneasily on his feet. He had this thoughtful, intense expression, almost searching. For what, you had no idea but it made you fidget nonetheless, breaking eye contact and pick at imaginary lint on your sweater.

You were about to make some excuse about needing to go back to the library - because you sure as hell weren’t going to stick around here -  when he mumbled something about having papers to grade before disappearing down the hall to his room without another word.

A few more moments passed before you let out the breath you didn’t realize you were holding.

Well, that’s that I guess.

“It went fine. He was...nice”

“Nice.”

“As nice as you can be with a stranger invading your space unnanounced.”

“So dramatic, it’s not like you two are strangers.”

“I don’t even think he knows my name.”  

“We have all hung out loads of times before-”

“I have spoken to him more in the last 12 hours than I have in the last 12 months”

“And who’s fault is that? If anything, that's progress, you should be thanking me. Kyungsoo’s a hoot”

You leveled her with a look.

“...have I told you how much I love you today?”

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

A/N: Had this in my drafts for over 2 years. Hoping by posting I’ll be motivated to actually finish it~

[dragonotaku-justineverything]

(Pokémon AU) How did Jaune meet his adorable little Eevee, Caramel? And what was his first interactions with Aerial and her own Eevee Mocha like?

Well... I got a bit carried away again. I just love this AU and I'm really getting into Pokemon again recently, so sorry for the long post ahead.

But I hope you all enjoy it nonetheless!

It was a beautiful day outside Beacon Academy. The sun was shining brightly and hardly any clouds were visible. Multiple flocks of Wingull, Starly, Pidgey and other bird-like Pokémon soared freely in the sky around Beacon. A few letting out some faint cries sporadically. The Wooloos were happily grazing and rolling around in their paddock. Many students and visiting trainers alike were outside, just enjoying the nice weather with their Pokémon. This nice weather gave both Ruby Rose and Jaune Arc the idea to enjoy the day with a nice picnic outside with their friends.

On several blankets spread out in a grassy portion of the academy's lavish courtyard near a tree, the group of eight friends were all eating and chatting away. All of their Pokémon were out of their pokeballs and gathered around them.

Some were just lazing about, such as Ren's Greninja sitting cross legged while dozing off with his head tilted down or Weiss's snow white Vulpix snoozing in Weiss's lap while she sat in the shade of the tree. Others were chowing down, like Nora's Shinx or Blake's Litleo, eating berries/Poké food in their own little food bowls. Or in the case of Pyrrha's Aron, he was eating some screws, nuts, bolts, and other small pieces of scrap metal. Yang was busy brushing her Growlithe's fur, and watched her Combuskin running around with Ruby's Zorua.

Jaune was happily munching on a sandwich. He put the sandwich down and moved his hand to lightly scratch Hera's head, who was laying down next to his left thigh. Normally she'd be laying in his lap, but that space was currently taken. A small glass container was resting in a space between his legs. Inside it was a Pokémon egg he'd "won" two months ago wrapped in a blanket, so Hera had settled for laying right next to him instead. She was adapting pretty well to the new circumstances with said egg. Though Jaune was still wondering how she'd react when it finally hatched

His nails lightly scratched just around the base of the tuft of white fur on her head, just where she really liked it. "Shoo-, mmm *swallow*, sorry. So Pyrrha, you're Metang actually evolved on live TV?"

Pyrrha lowered her fork with the next bit of her chicken and strawberry salad to respond with a smile. "Yes indeed. It happened during the final match of my second tournament at Sanctum. It was quite an astonishing sight."

Jaune smiled and leaned back a bit. "I bet! Man, watching a Pokémon evolve in person must be amazing."

Yang looked up from her Growlithe over at him. "You've never seen a Pokémon evolve?"

Jaune chuckled a bit. "W-well I mean I've seen it on video and stuff, just not in person."

Nora shamelessly jumped in and added her two cents. "Neither have I! It must be soooo cool!"

Pyrrha giggled happily and looked over to her Metang, who was actually on the ground for a change instead of floating, with Cubone resting on its head. "Well, watching my Beldum evolve into Metang was definitely a sight I'll never forget."

They group continued to converse, laugh, and just enjoy themselves. Their Pokémon did as well, all of them getting along pretty well. They were all so engrossed in their merriment, none of them noticed another member slowly walking towards their misshapen circle.

That was until she made her move.

Jaune felt a small tug at his hoodie but ignored it, thinking it was just Hera rolling around in her sleep. It was a pointed finger and a question from Ren that actually made him look. "Uuuh Jaune... do you know who... that is?"

"Huh?" Jaune looked down to where his friend was pointing, which was by his stomach. There, in his hoodie's pocket near his stomach, was a small little brown Pokémon with a small, furry body and a big fluffy brown tail.

And half of its body was buried inside his hoodie pocket, rummaging around in it.

"WAH!??" Jaune nearly jumped up in surprise, but he managed to stay pretty still for the most part, trying not to jostle the egg between his legs. However, he still shot back an inch or two when he threw his hands up above him and fell back, his head lightly landing on the blanket.

Hera, startled by her Papa's sudden jolt, sprang up to her feet and spun to look at him. She lowered her stance, ready to defend him if she needed to! That's when she saw the little brown Pokémon as well, now standing on top of her Papa's stomach while he was laying back, but its top half was still stuffed in her Papa's pocket! What was it doing? Was it trying to attack him?! She wouldn't let it!

"Growl! ROW! GRO-!" She had just started barking at it when someone else's yelling stopped her.

"Eevee! Stop that! That's very rude!"

The brown Pokémon stopped moving finally, and stood still for a moment on Jaune's stomach, then slowly started walking backwards. It took a little tugging, but it finally pulled itself out of Jaune's pocket. As it got free, everyone around got a good look at its top half.

The first thing they all noticed was a large collar of fluffy, cream colored fur. Then two long, thin ears on top of its head. Finally its small, soft, squarish face with two big dark eyes and a happy smile. As well as a small plastic candy wrapper hanging from said smile.

Weiss, Ruby, Yang, and Nora all let out a coo of "Awwwwww" at the same time.

"Eevee no!" The group again heard the voice call out again, and almost all at once, they looked away from the 'Eevee' and towards where it was coming from.

There they saw a young girl, running up to their group with her arms waving above her. She was quite slender, had dark hair pulled back in a ponytail. She had a light blue jacket on, open in the front to show she had on a black halter top underneath it. A pair of tight black and blue pants with heeled fur boots matching in color. A simple black choker around her neck finished her outfit nicely.

Then the group noticed that a Pokémon that was just like the one on top of Jaune right now was also running alongside the girl. One this one had a small band of flowers around the base of one of its ears. It was hopping/skipping along right by her feet as they both ran towards them, its whole body arcing into the air as it followed her.

Within just a few seconds, she was right next to them, her arms still frantically waving. "Eevee you can't just jump on people you don't know like that! That's very rude! And give that candy back! You can't go stealing from peo-" The girl abruptly stopped her admonishment of the Pokémon as she finally looked at who Eevee was still standing on top of. "...JAUNE!?"

Jaune, still laying on his back, turned his head to look at the new girl that screamed his name, and quickly shot back up to a sitting position when he saw her. "Aerial!?"

The two looked at each other for a moment, then both smiled widely and started to laugh. Aerial started talking first. "Hey! What are the odds of running into you like this!"

"Me? What are you doing here haha?!"

Aerial leaned over a bit, smiling down at him. "Aunt Juniper said you'd gone off to Beacon, but I wasn't expecting to see you so soon!"

Jaune, still sitting, smiled brightly back up at her. "Yeah hahaha, it's always been my dream to go to a professional Pokémon academy after all haha. Hera's here too!" As Jaune finished, he pointed towards the Fire-Type.

Aerial shifted her gaze to her and her eyes brightened even more. She got down on her knees and hunched forward, getting close to Hera's height. "Heeeera~ hi! It's been such a long time! How are you?"

Hera's earlier confidence seemed to wane a bit as she started to look a little nervous. Papa seemed to know this woman and was happy to see her, so she shouldn't be worried, but she still pulled back a bit from Aerial. She seemed a little familiar to her as well, but she wasn't sure...

Jaune chuckled. "She might not remember you, Aerial. It was a couple years ago now."

Aerial pouted childishly and straightened her back, "Awwww that's a shame. I definitely remember her!"

"I don't doubt that. You loved her as a kid."

"Uuuummm... hello?"

Jaune and Aerial turned their heads in unison to look at who spoke.

Yang was holding a hand up, like she was waiting to get noticed or called upon. "Uuuh yeah, we're still here. Mind uuuuh, filling us in on what's happening Jaune?"

Jaune sweatdropped a little, slightly embarrassed that he'd completely forgotten about the others present for a minute there. "He he, sorry guys." With one hand, he gestured to Aerial. "Everyone, this is my cousin, Aerial Yeager. She's from Atlas actually, so that's why I was so surprised to see her."

Aerial waved at the group, still with a smile on her lips. "Hi everyone! I trust Jaune's been good to all of you."

A lot of them nodded at that, and many of their Pokémon had stopped in their activities and gathered around as well, looking at the new arrival.

Aerial's eyes scanned over all of them and began to sparkle. "Awwww you all have such amazing Pokémon!"

"Speeeeaking of which... Aerial, are these Pokémon yours?"

Aerial turned away from the group and back to Jaune. He was pointing down right beside him. There, the Eevee from earlier that jumped on Jaune was licking away at the now unwrapped candy that it got from his pocket, looking completely carefree. Meanwhile, it looked like the Eevee with flowers that ran up with Aerial around its ears was admonishing it.

"Y-yeah, they are. H-hey Eevee what did I say! That isn't yours!" Eevee stopped licking and looked up at her with a head tilt, then just went back to licking the candy happily. "Hooooh." Aerial sighed and bowed her head, feeling defeated at being ignored.

"Hey it's no big deal Aerial, I have plenty of these caramel candies. I was just caught off guard when Eevee just appeared out of nowhere."

"Yeah sorry about her. She's kind of a handful sometimes. She likes doing what she likes when she likes. Oh, everyone," Aerial gestured in front of her towards the two small Eevees. "This is Mocha and Eevee, their sisters."

Blake was the first to catch what she said. "Mocha?"

"Ah yeah, that's what I call my Eevee, the one with the flowers. The other Eevee... Well, no matter what name I try, she doesn't respond to it. Coca, Ginger, Toffee, Hazel... she doesn't seem to like anything I pick out for her."

The group all turned to the Eevee still licking away at the candy, not noticing or caring about all the eyes on her. Mocha seemed a little annoyed at her sister's actions still, but had stopped reprimanding her as she didn't seem to care too much.

Jaune looked down at the Eevee right next to him, then slowly reached a hand over and gently rubbed his index finger on its head. "You sure do like that candy huh? Did you smell it and that's why you came over to me?"

Eevee didn't seem to mind the light petting. In fact she seemed to like it as she enjoyed her treat. She stopped her licking for just a moment and looked up at the person petting her. "Vee vee vi!"

Jaune chuckled at its happy cries.

"Grooow!"

A very familiar voice on his other side made Jaune turn his head to see a begging Hera standing next to him. "Oh sorry Hera, you probably want some pets too." Jaune reached his free hand over and gently began petting Hera's white floof on top of her head. That immediately put a smile on the Growlithe's face and she happily nuzzled Jaune's hand back.

Aerial shook her head in slight disbelief. "Same old Jaune. Always a whizz with Pokémon."

Now that the excitement had fully died down, the group went back to lounging about like they were, now with an extra member as Aerial sat down and joined them at Jaune's invitation.

They all talked and got to know each other more. Aerial explained how she was indeed from Atlas, but had come with a few friends on a trip to Vale and Beacon to explore what kinds of Pokémon were here. Aerial told them about her friends, her school, and of course also her Pokémon. They were all surprised by how many she already had. A Braviary, a Ludicolo, and a Munchlax. Plus her two Eevee's as her companions, that made five Pokémon in total! There were teachers at Beacon that didn't have that many!

After about another two to three hours of talking, laughing, bonding, and snacking (Jaune offered some of his food to Aerial which she gratefully accepted), the sun was beginning to set and Aerial said she had to go. She stood up; brushed some crumbs off of her pants; said her goodbyes to everyone, giving Jaune her scroll number and promising that they'd talk again soon; and called for Mocha and Eevee to come along. Only that's not what they did.

Mocha stood up with her no problem and was ready to go, but Eevee didn't. She just kept laying down next to Jaune where she'd been for the past hour getting pets and even , licking a second caramel candy that Jaune had given her. She didn't move at all at Aerial's call.

"Eevee? Come on, it's time for us to go."

Again, Eevee didn't move.

"Eevee." This time Aerial's voice was a little more stern. "We need to go. Now come on." Aerial walked over to the Eevee and bent over to pick her up. Before she even touched her, Eevee had snatched up her treat and jumped into Jaune's lap, getting a surprised "Ooph!" from him. She set her treat down and turned to look at Aerial. Then for the first time all day, it let out a cry. "Eev! Ve ve Eevee!"

Aerial pulled back. She was surprised to hear Eevee talk back directly to her. Sure she didn't listen sometimes, but never out right talked back at her. "Eevee! What's gotten into you?"

Eevee didn't respond this time, just curled up in Jaune's lap and hunkered down.

Everyone watched this unfold, but only Ren spoke up. "I think Eevee is trying to say that she'd like to stay with Jaune."

Aerial looked over at the stoic boy, wide eyed. "W-wha? Wait really?" Aerial looked back at the tiny curled up Pokémon in Jaune's lap, happily laying down with her eyes closed, her treat finished in a hurried bite. "B-but... Eevee really? Y-you wanna stay with Jaune?"

Eevee looked up to Aerial, smiled easily, and nodded. "Ve ve!" It definitely seemed to be happy.

Aerial kept looking down at Eevee, and Eevee kept looking up at her. After a few seconds, Aerial's expression shifted from being slightly sad, to understanding. "Okay. Well then, let's see what Jaune thinks." Aerial looked down to cousin, his confused face making her almost giggle. "Jaune, it looks like Eevee has taken a liking to you. Would you like to keep her around with you? I know you'd take amazing care of her, so I'd be comfortable with you taking her with you if you want."

Jaune's mind nearly exploded from hearing that! His cousin was asking him if he'd like to have another Pokémon!? For real?! Jaune felt his lips twitch upwards before he even said anything. He looked down at the Eevee in his lap. She seemed very happy there, and she'd wanted to stay with him first. Jaune looked back up to Aerial and nodded once. "I'd love to. And I promise that I'll give her the best care that I possibly can!"

Aerial knew he'd say that. He loved Pokémon, so being offered one by a family member was probably like a dream for him. "Well alright then. I have to say... I-I'm sad to see you go, Eevee." Eevee looked up at Aerial when she said her name. "But... if this is what you want, then I can accept it. I know Jaune will take great care of you, and I can call to see you anytime I want. So... you take care of yourself and Jaune alright? Your sister and I will see you again, sometime real soon, I promise."

Eevee smiled and leaped out of Jaune's lap, landing close to Aerial's feet. The little Pokémon nuzzled her head against Aerial's leg and let out faint coos. Aerial quickly dropped down and scooped Eevee into a tight hug. She held it for at least 10 seconds before she let her go, setting her softly back down on the grass. When she did, Mocha bounced over to her sister and they started talking by themselves, most likely saying their own goodbyes while Aerial stood back up. "Okay, I guess this is goodbye for now Eevee. Jaune, I'll definitely be expecting some video calls from you now. Oh, and maybe you'll be able to think of a good name for her too."

Jaune, now no longer having a Pokemon in his lap, stood up. He was careful not to bump the container with the egg in front of him as he did so. He stood up straight, showing off just how much taller he was than his cousin. "You got it Aerial. I hope we meet again sometime soon as well. This was fun." He took a step forward and embraced her in a hug, which she returned.

When they separated, Aerial stepped back. "Okay, well... we really have to head out now. My friends are all probably waiting for me back in Vale and I need to catch a Bullhead before they stop for the night. It was nice meeting you all! I hope to meet you all again someday!" Aerial started to leave, and Mocha, having finished her goodbye to her sister with a loving nuzzle, followed her.

Eevee watched as they left. Eevee suddenly bounced forward a few feet in their direction and let out a loud "Eeeeveeeee! Eeeeeveee!", saying goodbye for now to her family.

Aerial stopped and turned her head back to look at her after her cry. She smiled back at her and waved before continuing. As the pair got farther and farther away, Eevee returned back to the group, stopping in front of Jaune.

Jaune smiled and knelt down to be closer to her. "Eevee, I'm touched that you wanted to stay with me. I promise that we'll have some amazing adventures together! Oh, there's someone that I want you to officially meet now! This is Hera." As Jaune said her name, the red Growlithe walked up next to her Papa and stood next to him proudly. "She's my best friend and has been with me since I was a kid. I hope you two can be friends."

Hera padded forward and stopped right in front of Eevee. She looked down at the smaller Pokemon with a big smile. She leant forward and gave Eevee a big lick on her head, which Eevee started to laugh at. The two then began to talk to each other in their out cries, and Jaune could already tell they'd get along fine.

"Well... that was sure something huh?" Jaune looked behind him and saw Nora holding her Shinx in her arms, and all his other friends smiling at him.

"Haha yeah, I guess so. Aerial's always been super trusting of family, but this shocked even me."

Yang walked forward and lightly punched his arm in a friendly way. "So... got any names for your new friend Vomit Boy?"

Jaune, while he was rubbing his now sore arm, looked down at Eevee again. As he did, he noticed a wrapper from the caramel candies he'd given to the Eevee earlier. "Huh..." Jaune knelt down and picked up the wrapper, then looked at it in his hand. "Maybe I do. Hey Eevee?"

The Pokemon stopped speaking with Hera and looked over to the kneeling Jaune. She quickly skipped over to sit right in front of him. "I was thinking, since Aerial couldn't think of a name you liked, yet you liked these candies so much, how about I just call you Caramel?"

Eevee looked up to him curiously with her big doughy eyes. Slowly those eyes began to shine with joy and she jumped up at him. Thankfully Jaune was used to this sort of thing thanks to Hera, so he caught her easily since she was a lot lighter.

"Whoa haha! Okay then, I guess that's a winner huh? Well, welcome to the team Caramel!"

AND! FINALLY! DONE!

Aerial Yeager is an OC created by my good friend @jace-the-writer-guy, who is also Jaune's cousin on her mom's side. I owe him a big thanks for helping me write this because I constantly was asking for specific info on his OC and him giving me ideas for stuff.

I'd been planning this out bit by bit for so long, so I sincerely hope that you all enjoyed this origins ask for Caramel, Jaune's Eevee!

[allthebooksandcrannies]

Life With You Makes Perfect Sense (You're My Best Friend)

TimKon Fanfic

Read on AO3 or Read my other works here

For context: this takes place during the time when Stephanie Brown was Robin after Tim's dad figured out his identity and made him retire. In the comics, Conner finds this out by coming to Gotham to look for Tim when he fails to show up at Titan's Tower and bumping into Robin Steph. Batman refuses to give Conner Tim's address but tells him that he has all the same skills Superman has to find him himself. Conner tracks down Tim's voice and confronts him in his bedroom. In the comics, he ends up leaving and doesn't appear to hear from Tim again until he comes back to the Robin role. This fic takes place as a sort of "what-if" to fill in that missing time.

I took the dialogue in italics from the first and last scenes directly from my copy of the TPB Teen Titans: Beast Boys & Girls (2005), though the body language that goes with the dialogue and everything else in the fic is mine.

Title comes from Tim McGraw's "My Best Friend"

Tim woke up clinging to the whisps of a dream that fled from the screeching of his alarm. As he blinked himself back to consciousness, he grasped vainly for the subject of the dream and was left feeling inexplicably wistful.

His fumbling fingers managed to silence the alarm, but there was still the unfortunate matter of having to heave himself out of bed, his limbs feeling heavier and more uncooperative than they had in weeks. Apparently, all the extra sleep he’d been getting since he retired still wasn’t enough to make Monday mornings suck any less.

He pushed away the traitorous voice in the back of his head that suggested that maybe his exhaustion had something to do with his conversation with Conner the other night.

Conner had shown up unannounced and asking questions Tim hadn’t expected to have to answer again. “Why didn’t you show at the tower yesterday? And what’s with this new Robin? The girl?”

“Last week…” Tim paused, trying to decide how best to make Conner understand. “My dad found my costume. He found out I was Robin, and he went a little—” Tim paused, unsure, “—overboard. I’ve been wanting to tell him for months anyway.”

Conner turned his head towards where he could hear Jack moving around, easily locking onto his vitals. “He seems totally relaxed now. His heart rate is normal and—”

Tim glanced back at Conner nervously, but still refused to look at him head on. “I quit.”

“You what?” Conner exclaimed.

“I’m not Robin anymore. I gave it up.”

“Why?” Conner couldn’t wrap his mind around what he was hearing.

Tim tried to explain, needing Conner to understand. His approval felt vital in that moment. “I never liked living two lives. I never planned on doing it for this long. And I never wanted to lie to my dad. Now I don’t have to anymore.”

Conner shook his head in denial. “Come on. You can’t do this to the Titans. That girl isn’t… She’s not Robin.”

Tim wanted to stop thinking about that night, but no matter how hard he tried he just couldn’t. The look on Conner’s face when Tim told him he wasn’t coming back to the Titans, how Conner refused to meet Tim’s eyes when he talked about how much he and the other Titans needed Tim, not just Robin. All of it. After all, what right did Conner have to come in and tell Tim how to live his life? Conner was born into this, he didn’t have a Before to compare the hero life to. He didn’t understand what it was like to be torn between two halves of himself.

At that thought, Tim paused about halfway through pulling on a shirt, and immediately felt guilty for even thinking it. Conner had just found out he was half Lex Luthor after all. He was probably the only person Tim knew who would understand exactly how Tim felt being stuck between his Dad and Bruce since the truth came out.

Tim pulled the shirt on the rest of the way with a mental sigh. He wasn’t really mad at Conner. Things had changed really quickly, and the other boy had made a lot of good points. As he ran through the rest of his morning routine, Tim’s mind continued its highlight reel.

“Let it go.”

“You’re my best friend, Tim. How can I? The Titans aren’t the Titans without Robin. They just aren’t.”

“Just because I’m not wearing a cape doesn’t mean we can’t hang.”

For the first time since Tim had explained his motivation, Conner finally met his eyes again. The resignation there made Tim’s throat tighten. “It won’t be the same. I’ve heard that from too many friends. Friends I never talk to anymore.”

And Conner wasn’t wrong. When was the last time he had talked to Cissie? Sure, he still got the occasional update on what she was up to from Cassie on Titans weekends, but that wasn’t the same. It was so easy to lose touch with people who left the hero game. Hell, he hadn’t even spoken to Dick since he quit, and they had supposedly been brothers.

Conner had every right to be worried. But what else was he supposed to do? There was nothing else he could have done to protect everyone’s identities, and it wasn’t like his Dad was about to let him go to group hangouts with a bunch of superteens.

Tim mulled it over as he mechanically choked down a bowl of cereal. His dad had been pretty adamant about the no contact thing, and Tim was trying to be the respectful son his dad deserved. But Conner wasn’t something Tim was willing to sacrifice for his new mission. Besides, what was the harm in just staying touch, it’s not like he was putting himself in danger.

Still, it was probably better safe than sorry. If he got his hands on a computer at school, it wouldn’t be hard to track down the Kents’ phone number. Then it was just a matter of waiting for Dad and Dana to be out long enough for him to have sole access to the landline.

Yeah, Tim thought as he threw his bowl and the sink and headed out to catch his bus, that would work. It would be enough. It had to. Tim just wished he didn’t feel like he was betraying his dad all over again.

-0-

If anyone could read his mind right now, they would be impressed by the amount of self-restraint Conner was exercising to control his strength as well as he was despite how frustrated he was. Unfortunately, poor Lottie the Cow could not read his mind, and, unlike Krypto, she wasn’t hiding any secret Kryptonian powers of her own.

After the third time he used just a tad too much pressure in his attempts to milk her and she shied away from him yet again, he had to concede defeat. As he swapped out with Pa (who was all too willing to pass off the stall mucking), Conner let himself feel the indignation he hadn’t been able to get out of his head since he spoke to Tim.

It just wasn’t right! Anyone with eyes could see how much Tim loved being Robin. Conner knew how much pride he took in being able to hold his own against some of the most powerful people on the planet. How Tim’s heartrate still sped up with excitement every time he swung off a building or when he flew with Conner.

His dad wanted him to be normal so bad? What was more normal than a teen managing to sneak out without their guardian knowing or taking their dad’s car out for a joyride with their friends. So what if the car was a Batmobile or if the adult he was sneaking past was a Tamaranean princess?

And the worst part was that he wasn’t even mad at Tim, not really. Sure, he had been pissed in the moment, but mostly he was just hurt. They had all finally gotten back to normal, and now Tim was leavingagain. It just wasn’t fair. Conner just wanted his best friend back, but every time they got over one hurdle another one showed up. And this was something Conner couldn’t punch.

“If you shovel any harder, you’re going to snap the end off again.”

Conner whirled around, barely managing not to break the poor tool in his surprise. Martha just raised an unimpressed eyebrow at him, a full basket of chicken eggs resting on her hip. “You want to tell me what’s eating you?”

Conner didn’t meet her eyes, just grabbed the now full bucket of manure to take it to the compost. “It’s nothing, Aunt Martha.”

Her brow wrinkled in concern, which was not what Conner had wanted at all. She took another moment, clearly choosing her words carefully. “Well… I know you don’t owe me your thoughts son, and I don’t pretend to know what it’s like to do what you and Clark do.” She started walking alongside Conner before continuing. “But I have raised one Kryptonian and I can listen with the best of them. So, if you need to get something off your chest…”

Dumping the bucket into the compost, Conner almost refused out of habit. Instead, he hesitated, casting his eyes to the side as he grasped for an answer. The sun was just beginning to peak over the horizon. “It’s kinda a long story…” the note of disappointment in his voice seemed to surprise both of them. Martha didn’t miss a step as she steered them back towards the house. She too glanced at the rising sun and then sent Conner an appraising look. “hmmm… School is important. It would be a shame if you had woken up ill this morning and couldn’t attend.”

Conner felt himself gaping like a fish as he followed her inside.

-0-

Tim was pretending not to notice Dana hovering when the doorbell rang.

And wasn’t that a fun situation. Tim wasn’t quite sure how much Dana knew. He knew his dad hadn’t told her about Robin, as per the arrangement. But he wasn’t sure what story she’d been given instead, or, more likely, if she’d just been left to draw her own conclusions.

Regardless, she clearly knew Tim had been hiding something because she had been acting strangely ever since. Making excuses to keep him in view, asking much more probing questions about his day and who he was spending it with, checking out parenting books on “troubled teens.”

She hadn’t said anything to Tim about whatever it was she thought was going on, but she had always been over-protective of Tim. Sure it could occasionally cross over into infantilizing, but, after a lifetime of people only worrying about Tim’s wellbeing when it affected them, it was kinda nice to have a parent care so openly.

Still, this was starting to get ridiculous. It wasn’t like he was running a drug empire from the kitchen table, and writing an English essay while someone keeps sneaking glances at you while cleaning the stovetop wasn’t exactly easy.

So, the doorbell was a welcome distraction.

While Dana rose to answer the door, Tim tried to focus back on his paper, as if he could make it write itself with the force of his glare. However, there was no amount of effort that would ever keep him from recognizing that voice.

He was at the door before he even realized he’d made the decision.

“—don’t know why he didn’t mention it, ma’am, we made these plans last week.”

“Well, I don’t know if I’m really comfortable with letting you boys go without clearing it with Jack fir—"

Tim peeked around Dana’s shoulder to see Conner Kent, glasses and all, staring up at his stepmom with an almost comically earnest expression. “Dana?”

She glanced back at Tim, not letting go of the half-open door. “Your friend—”

“Conner,” the boy in question supplied helpfully.

“Right,” she said with a forced smile, “Your friend, Conner, was just telling me that you two made plans to get together to study tonight? Tim, honey, you know your Dad wants you to let him know before you make plans to go out with people we don’t know.”

Tim did know. It was one of many new rules that his dad had decided to implement after he found his Robin gear. The restrictions chafed, but, as his dad pointed out, he definitely deserved the lack of trust at this point.

But when he caught the cocky “play along” grin over Dana’s shoulder, Tim stomach filled with warmth at the familiarity. He quickly schooled his expression into an appropriately sheepish smile. “Sorry Dana, I guess it just slipped my mind.”

Dana softened, her grip on the door slackening just a tad.

“If it helps, Mrs. Drake,” Conner broke in, “we can just study here.”

Tim wondered if Conner had learned the earnest and polite young man routine from watching Clark or if it was just natural talent. Either way it was enough for Dana, leading her to relax and open the door completely.

“Oh, that would be perfect! Tim, honey, why don’t you get you and your friend set up at the table? Will you be staying for dinner, Conner? We’re having Chinese tonight, and it’d be no problem to order an extra serving.”

“That would be great, Mrs. Drake!”

Dana headed back towards the kitchen, presumably looking for the takeout menus, leaving Tim and Conner in awkward silence. Tim decided to break the tension first.

“I’m sorry, Conner, I shouldn’t have snapped at you. I know you were just trying to help.”

“Wait, that’s supposed to be my line! I’m sorry, Tim. I didn’t mean to make it seem like I didn’t think you could make your own decisions.”

“So, still friends?”

“Please! You didn’t think I’d come all the way to Gotham to ditch you now, did you?”

“Why did you come? If that was it, why not just come in the window?”

Conner shifted his weight, hand tightening minutely around the strap of the backpack slung over his shoulder.

“Well, I was talking to Ma earlier, and she helped me realize that even if Robin can’t hang out with Superboy, that doesn’t mean Conner Kent can’t spend time with Tim Drake.” He looked up from his shoes, his blue eyes putting the Gotham sky to shame. “That is… if it’s okay with you?”

If you had asked Conner, Tim’s answering grin could have lit up even the darkest Gotham alley.

-0-

Fifteen minutes later found Tim and Conner side by side at the kitchen table, various homework from various subjects strewn out about. Leaning over under the guise of checking Conner’s math, Tim murmured under his breath for only Conner to hear: “So Conner Kent wears flannel now?”

Conner snorted. “I’m pretty sure it’s the only thing they sell in Smallville,” he whispered back. “Why? You a fan?”

“To be honest… I miss the leather,” he replied thoughtlessly.

“Is that so?” Tim realized what he’d said out loud a moment too late. “I guess I’ll have to keep that in mind,” he smirked.

“Oh, shut up,” Tim replied with a little shove that did absolutely nothing but prompt Conner to break out into full body laughter so loud it drew Dana in from the living room to see what was going on.

When she found a blushing Tim whispering back furiously and sending her embarrassed looks, she let out a chuckle of her own before leaving them to it. She had a good feeling about this kid.

-0

It quickly became routine for Conner to come by after school to do homework a few days a week. Tim had worried that it might have been getting Conner in trouble, but Conner had assured him that he had worked things out with ‘Ma so that he still got all his chores done in spite of the extra hours he was putting in Gotham. And as for Batman, well, if he didn’t want him coming to Gotham to see Tim, he shouldn’t have told him how to find him.

And at least he wasn’t dangling the latest Robin in mid-air anymore.

Whether by fate or weird coincidence, however, he still hadn’t managed to run into Jack Drake while he was monopolizing his son’s time yet. The first night Conner stayed for dinner had ended with them all waiting for half an hour after the food arrived before Jack remembered to call and let Dana know he would be working late. It wasn’t the last time either. And the nights he did come home for dinner were the nights where Conner had already planned to head home early to have dinner with his own family.

Not to say Conner minded. He had some thoughtsabout Jack Drake and the way he treated his son. It was probably better for everyone that Conner spent as little time with the man as possible.

But there was only so long that could last, especially since Tim was practically dying to get out of the house for more than just school or Jack’s father-son excursions.

Unfortunately, as time went on Jack had only gotten more paranoid about where Tim was going and what he was doing, not less. Lately, Tim was practically on lockdown since it was such a pain to get permission to go anywhere without his dad or Dana. The last time he had gone out to the diner with Bernard and Darla his Dad had “just happened” to stop by for a to-go coffee. It didn’t take a genius to figure out that he had been making sure Tim really was where he said he was.

His only saving grace was Dana. While she still enforced his dad’s rules (apparently not wanting to undermine his parenting), Tim had overheard her arguing on his behalf with his dad on multiple occasions, insisting that Tim was a good kid who had earned a little bit of freedom. Granted, these conversations rarely accomplished much besides getting Jack to dismiss her concerns as a lack of understanding due to not having children of her own. Still, Tim appreciated the support. Particularly since Dana had clearly decided that she liked Conner and essentially left them to their own devices while they were “studying.”

Now in addition to actually doing their homework, they were able to spend time talking about the rest of their lives, especially the normal civilian stuff they never seemed to have time for during Titans weekends. Everything from friendships, to TV shows, to their relationships with their parents was fair game. Tim had felt like he knew Conner before, but this was a whole new level. And the more he learned, the more he wanted to know.

And that’s why he had recruited Dana.

It hadn’t been hard. For once in his life, being completely honest with an authority figure about what he wanted was enough. It probably shouldn’t have felt as weird as it did.

Dana had given him a strange look when he mentioned he wanted to hang out with Conner outside of studying, but she had agreed that she didn’t see a problem with it. After all, if his father was alright with him spending time with Bernard (who Dana knew firsthand was not exactly the best of influences) then surely he would be okay with Tim spending more time with “a nice young man” like Conner. He just needed to meet him first.

It would be fine. Probably.

And that was how the two of them had ended up setting the dining table while Dana put the finishing touches on what she assured Tim was Jack’s favorite meal.

“Dude, you’ve got to take a breath,” Conner whispered as he reached around Tim. “I’ve heard your heart beat slower going up against literal mercenaries.”

Tim snorted. “I’ll take Deathstroke over this any day.”

“Hey now,” he shot back with a scandalized hand to his chest, “I’ll have you know I am delightful company!”

Tim’s futile attempts at a mock glare were interrupted when he could no longer hold back the urge to giggle at the absurdity of the situation. He could go up against the worst the world had to offer without thinking twice, but the idea of his dad and his best friend in the same room had him on the verge of a panic attack.

He shot Conner a grateful smile. “I just really need this to go well.”

Conner slung a careless arm around Tim’s shoulder but spoke with a level of seriousness he rarely let people see. “And it will, I promise. We make a good team, remember? We can handle this.”

Tim nodded and drew in some deep breaths to calm his racing pulse. Conner didn’t say anything else, just let him take the minute he needed. Just as Tim had gotten a hold of himself and was about to gently shrug off Conner’s arm, Conner pulled away of his own accord with a parting squeeze of Tim’s shoulder.

“He’s here,” he explained, gesturing to the front door with his chin as he finished off the last place setting.

Sure enough, a moment later Tim heard the telltale click of a key in a lock. There was a very slight possibility that his breathing may have quickened again just a bit if the bemused look Conner sent him was any indication.

Tim most definitely did not stick his tongue out at his friend before heading to the entryway to take his dad’s coat.

Conner and his snicker followed a beat behind Tim. When Jack’s gaze finally landed on Conner, Conner felt his spine straighten involuntarily. Jack didn’t say anything at first, and in the stretching silence Conner felt himself trying to channel every bit of the big blue boy scout he had in him.

Jack’s eyes cast over every bit of Conner’s appearance, from his glasses to his button up to his clean but scuffed sneakers. Conner was uncomfortably reminded of being a literal lab specimen under observation.

Suddenly, Jack’s expression morphed into a charming smile Conner didn’t trust for an instant. He stuck out a hand, and Conner was so caught off guard by the sudden transition that he almost forgot to shake it.

“You must be Tim’s friend. Carter, right?”

“Er—”

“It’s Conner, Dad.”

Jack waved Tim’s correction away. “Right, right, Conner then.” He started walking off to the living room, clearly expecting them to follow. “Dana tells me that you’ve been coming over to study quite a bit lately. I hope your grades have seen a better uptick than Tim’s have.”

Conner sent a questioning glance Tim’s way but didn’t get a response other than the visible tension in the other boy’s jaw.

“Not really sure what the point of a study group is if it doesn’t actually raise your grades any,” Jack continued.

Assuming that the biting comment was rhetorical and feeling supremely awkward, Conner didn’t respond right away. But as the three of them each pulled up a chair, Jack’s impatient expression clued Conner in on the fact that he was actually supposed to answer.

“Er…yes sir. I’ve been really lucky to have Tim’s help getting caught up.”

Jack was saved from responding beyond a noncommittal hmm by Dana’s arrival with the food. As she placed the casserole dish of what looked like enchiladas on the table, Dana gave them all a forced smile.

“And it’s been so nice getting to know one of Tim’s friends, Conner.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Drake.”

“So how did you and Tim start hanging out?” Jack questioned absently.

They had prepped for this question. Conner used the opportunity to launch into an overdramatic retelling of a group project they had worked on together and how they realized that they worked well together. Like all the best lies, it included just enough details not to be suspicious while still having a kernel of truth.

His story succeeded in breaking the ice enough to get conversation started, and Conner felt himself relaxing. He had meant what he said to Tim earlier, but he didn’t exactly meet that many new civilians. But Tim had prepared him well, and this wasn’t his first undercover op. He skillfully navigated around dangerous truths and gave the performance of his life as the perfect All-American teen.

Maybe he should have felt guilty about lying to these people who had opened their home to him. Clark probably would have had something to say about it. After all, on paper Jack had every right to be upset. His son had literally been throwing himself in front of bullets for strangers for years behind his back. Not only that, but he’d been doing it alongside another adult he had trusted to have his son’s best interests at heart. Surely any good parent would have been just as upset, right?

But Conner was very aware that Jack Drake was not the parent he believed himself to be.

Good parents didn’t ship their kid off to boarding schools from the minute he was old enough to attend, and then never show up for the few weeks their kid is home.

Good parents don’t look at everything that makes you you and try to sand it away so that you’ll fit some perfect ideal they have in their head of what you should be.

Good parents don’t look at the emotional scars and bruises they’ve given to their child and tell them that its their own fault for making them do this, for not being enough or for being too much.

Jack Drake may not have laid a hand on his son, but he’d still done plenty of damage, and Conner was forced to watch Tim thank him for it.

So, no. Conner didn’t feel an ounce of guilt for lying to the man who constantly left his favorite person more confused and conflicted than any mystery Batman had ever handed to him.

Tim may not realize that he deserved better yet, but that was alright. Conner would flatter and charm and play meek and responsible without feeling a single thing if it made Tim’s life easier.

As the conversation shifted to what was new with Dana’s sister and her kids, Conner met Tim’s eyes again. Tim subtly tipped his glass approvingly toward Conner, and Conner sent back an answering wink.

Well, he corrected internally, maybe he’d feel one thing after all.

-0

Gotham wasn’t exactly known for its tourist attractions. It was kind of a risky financial decision to try to open anything that encouraged a lot of people to congregate in a city where crowds drew Rogues like killer moths to a flamethrower. And that went double for anything that could be construed as children’s entertainment.

Luckily, Gothamites were both stubborn and spiteful, so there were a few places, like the traveling carnival currently set up near the harbor, that popped up every now and then with that brilliant fuck you energy that so clearly defined the city.

After last week’s dinner got off to its admittedly awkward start, Conner had hit his stride. Seamlessly switching between the perfect “aw shucks, me?” smile when asked a question about himself and then an earnest “tell me more about…” to turn the conversation back to Jack’s interests, Conner would have earned even the Batman’s reluctant approval.

By the end of the night, Jack was riding the high of getting to speak about himself to a willing audience for so long. It was all too easy to get Jack’s permission for Tim to hang out with Conner outside the house… as long as he still made sure to call and check in on the hour, of course.

Tim hadn’t hesitated to get them tickets for the second night the carnival was in town (not wanting to tempt a Rogue’s attack on the first), and the night had finally arrived.

Now, sharing a seat on the ferris wheel with the other teen, Tim couldn’t understand why he’d been so worried. He’d always been the first to insist that there was so much more to Conner than people gave him credit for.

Tim found himself glancing at Conner out of the corner of his eye. Luckily, the other boy was too busy leaning over the railing to watch the sun set behind the city skyline.

Most people looked at Superboy and saw a brash, arrogant, and (if he was lucky) comical teenager. They dismissed him as the brawn to other Titans’ brains. They couldn’t understand how he could be so different from Superman.

Tim knew better than that. Sure, he could be all those things, but what teenager wasn’t? Especially considering all the shit the authority figures in his life had put him through. And yeah, he was funny too.

But Conner was also a damn good friend. He was loyal and brave and empathetic and fiercely protective of the people who had earned his respect. He paid attention to people, and he cared so deeply, even though he tried to cover it up with nonchalance and a confident façade. He might be bulletproof, but Tim would protect that vulnerability he saw until the day he died.

“Alright. Where’d you go?”

Pulled back into the moment rather suddenly, Tim was startled, but he didn’t have to worry about coming up with a suitably mysterious response here. “What?”

Conner snorted and raised one hand to slide his sunglasses just far enough down the bridge of his nose that he could meet Tim’s eyes.

“You’re looking at me weird. What’s up?”

As Tim tried to decide how to answer in a way that wasn’t completely cheesy, the ferris wheel paused again, this time with the two of them at the very top.

“I just—I’m just really glad you’re here. Thanks for coming to Gotham.” He didn’t just mean today either. He meant all of it. The first time he came to find out why Robin wasn’t at the tower, the time he showed up at Tim’s door even what would have chased anyone else away, and every other time they had hung out since.

He didn’t have to specify that though. The blinding smile that broke out over Conner’s face made it clear the message was received.

Conner took a moment, trying to school his expression into something a little smoother, but it was a lost cause. Eventually he just settled for clearing his throat. “You don’t have to thank me, Tim. There’s no place I’d rather be. Besides,” he continued as he casually threw an arm across the back of Tim’s seat, “everyone knows Gotham has the best sunsets.”

His heart pounding, Tim took a deep breath and let himself sink into Conner’s side. For a second, Conner stiffened and Tim worried that he’d made a horrible mistake, that he’d ruined everything.

It was only when he felt the comforting weight of Conner’s arm move from the seat to wrap around Tim’s shoulders, pulling him closer, that Tim let himself believe that this could be okay. They could have this.

The leather of Conner’s jacket was cool against the side of Tim’s face. The sky was a brilliant mess of golds and reds and purples. And Tim was with the person who made him feel safer and more himself than anyone else on the planet.

“Yeah, I suppose we do, don’t we?”

-0

That evening, Tim sat down on his bed, pulling his camera out of his bag. He was looking forward to developing them. Maybe he’d give Conner a few of the shots if they were any good.

knock knock

Tim looked up to see Dana leaning up against the doorframe she had knocked on.

“Hey, Honey. Did y’all have a good time?”

Tim couldn’t have held back the smile if he’d tried. “Oh yeah, it was awesome!”

Dana smiled back just as warmly. “Oh, I’m so glad!” Tim believed her. That was the best thing about Dana, she was one of the most genuine people he knew, and for some reason Tim couldn’t fathom, she had always seemed to care so much about Tim.

“Do you mind if I come in, sweetheart? There’s something I’ve been wanting to talk to you about…”

-0

“I swear to god I used to be good at keeping secrets,” Tim groaned as he allowed his head to thunk dramatically against the diner table.

Conner didn’t look up from his menu, but he did use his TTK to save their waters from tipping over. “Sure you were,” he deadpanned.

“I was literally trained in deception and resistance to interrogation by one of the best detectives in the world.”

“Yup.”

“She still doesn’t know I was Robin. Neither of them have made the very obvious connections between you and a certain Boy of Steel for some reason.

“It’s the glasses.”

“It is not the glasses.”

“It is,” he said. “Conner Kent wears glasses, and Superboy doesn’t. Therefore, obviously different people.” His forehead crinkled. “Do you think a sweet potato milkshake would be any good?”

“It wouldn’t be the weirdest thing I’ve ever eaten.” Tim squinted back up suspiciously from where he was still sprawled on the table. “Also, I feel like you are not being nearly sympathetic enough to my plight.”

Conner finally gave up the pretense of looking at the menu and dropped his chin to rest on his hands on the tabletop, so his face was only a few inches from Tim’s long-suffering expression.

Unfortunately for Tim’s dignity, Conner’s crooked grin was infectious. “How long did it take her to figure it out?”

“Ugh, she apparently she knew the minute she saw me, but at least she promised not to tell Dad.”

Conner snickered.

“Don’t laugh! She tried to give me the talk, Conner!”

That just sent Conner into full-body cackles. Tim watched him throw his head back and couldn’t help but feel proud. He did that. But he wasn’t done pouting yet either. It was the principle of the thing, after all.

“Sorry—” Conner gasped, “Sorry babe!” He leaned forward to place a kiss to Tim’s forehead, reveling in the way his boyfriend blushed so immediately. “You can hide just about anything else, sure, but you’ve got absolutely no poker face when you’re happy.”

Tim grumbled good naturedly like the absolute gremlin he was before finally deciding to sit up when a rather unimpressed waitress stopped by to take their order.

When she walked off, Conner turned back to Tim, casually taking one of Tim’s hands in his as though they weren’t both still completely in awe of this new development.

“So…” Conner started. “You were supposed to get together with your Wizards & Warlocks friends over the weekend, right? How’d that go?”

Tim’s eyes lit up as he started telling Conner about the most recent developments to their current campaign. Conner did his best to make sense of all of the characters and jargon he had no reference for, since it clearly meant a lot to Tim. Though that was made a little trickier by how much fun he was having just watching Tim.

He rarely got to see him so animated, due to the expectations constantly heaped on Robin and Tim Drake alike. When talking about something he enjoyed, however, Tim came alive. So, Conner listened, asking real questions that sparked off another tangent every time he started running out of steam.

Conner wondered if Tim’s eyes had always sparkled that much when they were hidden behind a mask. He didn’t think so, but either way he was just grateful Tim trusted him enough to let him see.

-0

“So then Ives—oh, Dana, can you pass the bread? thanks—Ives ended up rolling a Nat 20 on persuasion, which completely messed with my pla—”

“Alright, alright, I’m about tapped out on Witches & Wizards—” Jack interrupted, his hands raised in a timeout gesture.

“Jack!” Dana admonished.

“It’s actually Wizards & Warlocks, Dad.”

“Whatever it’s called! There’s only so much of this I can hear before my brain rots.”

Tim forced an apologetic smile. “Sorry, Dad.”

Jack waved away the apology with his buttered roll. “Forget about it. Hey, how’s your school’s basketball team this year? I was thinking we would go to the game this Friday, just the two of us.”

“Oh,” Tim said, “I don’t really know. Umm… what time is the game? Because I already made plans to go see a movie with Conner on Friday before he has to go away for the weekend for some family stuff.”

Jack frowned and Tim found himself straightening up involuntarily. “You’ve been spending a lot of time with that Conner kid. What’s up with that?” he asked accusatorily.

Wary of stumbling into a trap he couldn’t see, Tim tried to feign a casualness he didn’t feel. “I don’t know, I guess I just realized we have a lot in common, but I hang out with a lot of people. Why do you ask?”

This apparently wasn’t enough for Jack because he didn’t let it go, even putting his fork down so he could make sure his full attention was on Tim. “You don’t though! You almost never talk about Bernard anymore, or that Darla girl! The wizards thing was weird enough, but now if it’s not that then it’s Conner this or Conner that! If you’re not careful, you’re gonna give people the wrong idea about the two of you.”

The tightening in Tim’s throat would have been painful if it weren’t for the numbness he felt sinking into his bones.

“And now you’re suddenly too good to hang out with your dad anymore? I don’t know what’s gotten into you, but I’m concerned about the person you’re becoming lately.”

“No! No, Dad it’s not like that—”

Tim looked at a wide-eyed Dana desperately for help. Ever ready to defend Tim when he needed, Dana didn’t disappoint.

“Oh, Jack, honey,” she laughed a little too loudly, “leave the poor boy be. He’s a good kid, and it’s healthy for a teenage boy to want to spend more time with his friends! I don’t see the harm in it. Honestly, shouldn’t we be proud of him for honoring his commitments?”

Jack’s glare was as hard as steel and just as cold. “Don’t tell me what I should and shouldn’t be proud of. I think I know how to parent my son.”

Dana broke eye-contact first, and Jack seemed to be the only one immune to the rising tension. Eventually he paused his meal consideringly. “Though I suppose you do have a point, Dana. Tim and I will just have to go to the next game, hmm?”

Grateful for the out, Tim nodded quickly. “Sounds great, Dad.”

-0

Tim had been looking forward to seeing this movie since he’d seen the first preview, but he hadn’t been paying attention at all for the last ten minutes. Oh well, he could come back and watch it again later, maybe with the guys in his W&W group.

In the meantime, it was definitely worth the sacrifice. Kissing Conner in the back row of the theatre, Tim had never felt more like a normal teenager in his life. This might be just as fun as running over rooftops.

-0

Conner swung Tim’s hand back and forth between them as they walked, feeling a bit like a little kid. Most people probably would have been on edge walking through the streets of Gotham right after sunset, but most people weren’t literally bulletproof.

As it was, Conner would have been content to stay out there all night if it meant he got to keep holding Tim’s hand while he chattered about the photos he had taken on their last outing to the botanical gardens and how they had turned out. Conner had learned more about camera lenses in the last ten minutes than he had in his life, and he was loving it.

Unfortunately, the Titans would be expecting him in an hour or so, and Tim’s dad would probably take exception to his son being out all night under mysterious circumstances. So, it was with a heavy sigh that Conner finally arrived at the Drake’s brownstone.

The boys came to a stop before reaching the front steps, neither ready for the night to end. Conner leaned forward to press his forehead to rest against Tim’s.

“You know,” he whispered, “I know I said I wanted Robin to come back to the Titans —and don’t get me wrong, I would still love that— but I’m also kinda loving having you all to myself.”

Tim chuckled and when that laugh turned into a crooked grin that made Conner’s stomach flutter, he couldn’t resist kissing it back off.

WHAM

Tim and Conner jumped apart as the door to the brownstone slammed open. Jack glared down at them.

“Tim. Get in this house, right now.” When Tim hesitated to move, Jack’s tone only grew even more demanding. “I said get in this house Timothy Jackson Drake.”

The sound of his full name seemed to spark Tim back to life, as he scrambled back towards the house. Conner gently caught one of Tim’s hands just before he was out of reach, and the other boy looked at him like a started deer.

“Do you want me to…” Conner trailed off with a meaningful hand wave at the side of his head. Do you want me to listen in, he was asking.

Tim thought about it for a second before shaking his head. “But maybe don’t go far?”

Conner nodded decisively before meeting Jack’s hateful gaze defiantly for just a moment. He shoved his fists into his jacket pockets before storming off to the corner. As soon as he was out of view, however, he took advantage of Gotham’s perpetual lighting problem to fly up to the roof of the house next to Tim’s, ready to be there the minute Tim needed him.

He settled in to wait, trying to focus on anything but the shouting coming from the Drake residence.

It was probably took longer than it should have for Conner to realize he wasn’t alone, but, hey, he was distracted. Sue him.

“You can come out. I can hear your heartbeat.”

Black Bat unfurled from where she had blended perfectly into the shadows cast by the air-conditioning unit.

“What are you doing here?” Conner asked.

Cass joined him in sitting on the edge of the roof to watch the brownstone. “A while ago…there was a killer…hunting the last robin. I still check in.”

“Every night?”

“No…but most nights.”

Conner considered that for a moment. “So, I’m guessing you saw…?”

“Yes.” Conner thought he could detect a playful edge to her voice. “You are not very subtle.” Okay, no, he was definitely being teased.

trying to play along, he bumped her shoulder with his own. “Well, we can’t all be bat-level sneaky. The universe couldn’t take it. Some of us have to be showy enough to balance the rest of you out.”

Cass hummed consideringly. “That’s fine. Batman will… train it out of you.”

Conner let himself fall back dramatically in mock horror, and Cass giggled. The sound did not match the mask at all, but somehow the juxtaposition seemed fitting for a member of the bat family.

“It’s how he shows his love, promise.”

Conner smiled, the tension of the moment briefly eclipsed by the mental image of the Batman trying to mother-hen a super. Clark would never let him live it down.

Suddenly, movement drew his eye, and Conner saw Tim. Ready to hear the verdict, Conner rose to fly back down.

“Thanks,” he turned to say, only to find himself met with an empty roof.

Bats, man.

-0

Tim followed Jack into the house, his heart pounding so hard Clark could probably hear it in Metropolis. His lips and fingers felt weirdly tingly before going slightly numb. His brain was going a million miles an hour but his body just felt slightly distant.

This wasn’t how it was supposed to happen. This wasn’t supposed to happen at all. He wasn’t ready for this, it was supposed to be on his terms. But it was happening and it was happening now.

Jack stormed into the living room where Dana was half-risen in concern. She froze at the thunderous expression on his face as Jack being to pace the room like a caged lion. Meanwhile, Tim was a stone statue standing just in the room’s entrance. He felt a little bit like one of the artifacts his parents had brought back as souvenirs from their travels, just another relic meant to show off to friends that just ended up cluttering an empty house. And were Tim’s ears ringing?

“What the fuck did I just see, Tim?!” Jack burst out.

“Dad, I—”

“Don’t you fucking dare try to talk yourself out of this. Do you think I’m some kind of idiot?!”

“No! Of cour—”

“Jack, honey, whatever this is about, maybe we—”

Dana’s attempts to calm Jack only seemed to enrage him more, and she was cut off by the CRASH that came from Jack pitching one of her vases across the room. She froze, her eyes darting between Tim and Jack.

“Do you want to tell her what you’ve been doing behind our backs, Tim, or should I?”

“I—Conner and I--We” Tim sputtered unintelligibly, but Dana got the gist. She closed her eyes for a moment too long in sympathy, and Jack’s fury turned on her in an instant.

“You knew? You knew what was happening, and you didn’t put a stop to it?”

“Jack! There’s nothing wro…”

Her voice trailed off as Jack stalked closer and closer to her chair until he towered over her. She shrunk down. Jack leaned down over her and braced himself on the arms of the chair, effectively trapping his wife.

“Do you even care about what this could do to us?” His voice had gone low and picked up a dangerous quality that reminded Tim of the way Batman spoke to criminals he interrogated. But Tim had never been afraid of Batman.

He went on, his head tilted mockingly. “Or, are you just too stupid and selfish to realize how this reflects back on me?”

And, as he watched Dana start to shake, something in Tim snapped.

He was across the room in an instant, wrenching Jack’s arm behind his back so that he was forced to step back and turn around to keep it from breaking. The second Jack let go of Dana’s chair, Tim shoved him stumbling in the opposite direction.

“Leave her alone.”

Jack spun back around. “Did you just shove me?” he asked in pure outrage.

Tim’s chin raised defiantly. “I told you I could, didn’t I?”

At the reminder of the night Jack found out about Robin, Jack’s face twisted back into something ugly.

“So what?! I risk my life to save you from those freaks the first time, and this is the thanks I get? How the hell is anyone supposed to take me seriously when my son is—”

“I didn’t ASK you to save me, Dad!” Tim shouted. Years and years of bottling his resentment and frustration had led to an inevitable explosion, and Tim didn’t care who got burned. “I loved being Robin, I loved getting to help people, and getting to show what I can do. I worked so hard to earn Robin, and I gave it up to make you happy and I still can’t do anything right for you. I am so sick of pretending to be someone I’m not in the hopes that maybe someday it’ll finally be enough for you.”

“Tim—”

“No! It’s my turn now!” Tim’s words were acid. If he didn’t get them out now, they would burn him from the inside out. “I will never be the perfect kid you and Mom thought you deserved. I get that now. But I am enough. Bruce thinks so. Dick thinks so. And Conner thinks so too. I am more me with him than I am with anyone else. You already took Robin from me. I won’t let you take this from me too.”

Jack puffed up in rage. Seemingly having forgotten his lesson, he stormed into Tim’s space. Tim took a few steps back on instinct before he came back to himself and planted his feet, forcing Jack to stop to avoid a collision. Their faces were only a few inches apart as they glared at each other.

Tim realized he was almost as tall as his father.

Stubbornly trying to regain the control he could feel slipping through his fingers like water, Jack summoned every bit of authority he had in his body into his tone. “You aren’t seeing him again. This never happens again. Do I make myself clear?”

It was a good effort, but Tim had fought the Justice League. He regularly stared down the worst Gotham had to offer and said not here, not today. There was a lot he was willing to do to keep the peace. But Tim was fed up, and this was one thing he refusedto compromise on.

“No.”

There was nothing as immovable as a Bat who had made up their mind.

Maybe Jack finally recognized that because, for just a moment, Tim thought he saw something like sadness in his father’s eyes before they hardened like steel.

“Then get out.”

Tim blinked, his confusion enough to break through the bubble of anger that had been clouding out all else. “What?”

“I said get out of my house. And don’t come back.”

“Dad—”

“I don’t know who you are anymore. But you aren’t my son. I guess Batman ended up killing him after all.”

Tim’s eyes widened. He wasn’t sure whether it was the grief or betrayal that cut worse, but he kinda wished the numbness would come back. He drew in a deep breath, pulling what was left of his anger around him like a shield. Or maybe a cloak.

He spun around on his heel and marched back toward the front door.

The movement seemed to break the trance of confused horror that had held Dana like a vice as she watched the argument unfold like a demented tennis match.

“Tim!” she called after him. She reached out vainly as if that would be enough to close the distance that had opened up between them like a chasm. “Tim, sweetheart!”

Tim couldn’t turn around, but that didn’t make Dana’s heartbroken tone any less painful to hear.

He didn’t stop once he was out of the door until he was halfway down the street. And then, it was only because Conner landed right in front of him.

“Hey, what happened?”

Tim couldn’t answer. He couldn’t make eye contact right now either. But Conner didn’t press him.

“Okay,” he reassured, “that’s okay.” He raised one hand for Tim to take if he wanted. “Can I give you a lift then?”

Tim took the hand.

-0

Tim directed Conner to touch down at the Manor’s front door, not wanting to risk the possibility of Bruce having changed the security codes by now. Even still, he was certain they had tripped some sort of alarm when they flew over the property.

He was proven correct when Alfred pulled open the door before he’d had the chance to knock. If he noticed that Tim still hadn’t let go of Conner’s hand, the butler didn’t say anything.

“Master Timothy! What an excellent surprise!”

Despite everything, Tim found his mouth pulling into a fond smile at the old man. “Hi Alfred. Is Bruce home? I need to talk to him.”

“Right this way, sir!” Alfred said, already pulling the door open, and Conner allowed himself to be pulled along with nothing but a supportive hand squeeze.

Tim felt his heart pounding as he followed Alfred towards what he quickly realized was Bruce’s study. Suddenly unable to bear the silence anymore, Tim burst out: “Alfred, have you met Conner?”

Alfred’s face twitched into what only the bats would recognize as the butler suppressing a fond smile of his own. “I have not, sir. Though I must admit I had guessed.” Addressing Conner directly this time, Alfred continued, “My name is Alfred Pennyworth. It’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Mr. Kent.”

“Oh, uh…” Conner stammered before Martha Kent’s training kicked in. “It’s nice to meet you too, Mr. Pennyworth.”

Alfred hmmd approvingly but left it there. Luckily, Tim was saved from further attempts at small talk by their arrival at the study doors. Alfred bid them goodbye before slipping away with a subtlety Conner had only thought attainable by bats.

Tim drew in a deep breath before knocking hesitatingly on the ornate doors. The “come in!’ came barely a moment later, and Tim pushed them open with the resignation of a convict approaching the gallows.

On any other day, Conner would have been looking around at anything and everything in the office appreciatively. But today he couldn’t tear his eyes away from Tim who had gone ramrod straight, his own gaze locked onto the man standing up from his desk at the other end of the room.

Bruce Wayne rose from his desk, in that moment somehow managing to look twice as intimidating in a tailored suit as he ever did as Batman. His eyes roved over both boys, taking in everything from their still intertwined hands to Conner’s civilian garb to the way Tim looked like he might be on the verge of passing out. His face was inscrutable the whole time.

Eventually, Bruce’s gaze met Conner’s own defiant glare. “So…” he drawled in perfect deadpan, “are the glasses genetic, or is the entire caped community conspiring to drive me prematurely gray.”

Tim let out a sudden laugh so strangled Conner was mildly concerned he was choking. Conner could empathize.

Apparently amused by their reaction, the Batman smirked,and Conner’s soul left his body for a moment.

When it became clear that they weren’t going to say anything on their own, Bruce continued. “Well, Conner, something tells me that Tim and I need to have a conversation. Will you be joining us, or do you have somewhere to be,” he asked mildly.

Conner gave Tim a sideways glance, under no delusions about who’s comfort Bruce was really concerned with here. Tim squeezed Conner’s hand one more time before finally letting go, and Conner took that as the dismissal it was.

“Actually, sir, I think better head to San Francisco before Victor starts to wonder where I am.”

Bruce nodded turned his attention to Tim. Conner made sure to supportively squeeze Tim’s shoulder back on his way out. He tried to ignore the part of himself that made him feel like he was abandoning Tim to the lions.

-0

Once Conner had pulled the door shut behind him, Bruce let go of the bit of Batman that had made its appearance the minute the proximity alarms had let him know that someone had flown over the property boundaries.

“Tim.”

Tim still wasn’t making eye contact, his gaze getting no closer than Bruce’s mouth. Bruce resisted the instinct to drop into the Batman voice. While it would be a sure-fire way to get Tim to look at him, it also would do nothing to actually make the kid more comfortable. Tim would assume that it meant he’d done something wrong, and that would just make everything ten times worse.

Instead, Bruce fought to keep his tone as even and gentle as possible. “How about we sit down,” he asked with a gesture toward the twin armchairs by the fire.

Tim nodded stiffly but still wouldn’t speak. Bruce held in his sigh. Just as he reached his own chair, there was another knock on the door, and Alfred pushed his way in without waiting for a response.

“Forgive me for interrupting, Master Bruce, but I thought some soothing tea might be helpful.”

Bruce smiled at the older man. “Thank you, Alfred. That would be great.”

Alfred nodded and brought his tray over to the side table before pouring each of them a cup. As he turned to leave, Tim’s quiet “thanks” was almost inaudible, but Alfred caught it anyway.

“You are most welcome, young man” he replied, making sure to send Bruce a pointed don’t screw this up glance on his way out.

Bruce settled down into the chair next to Tim, their knees almost close enough to touch. Tim’s hands were wrapped so tightly around his teacup that Bruce worried he might shatter it, but he didn’t take so much as a sip.

“Tim. Can you tell me what’s going on, son?”

Tim finally looked up from his cup again, his gaze settling on Bruce’s mouth again.

“I’m not really sure where to start.”

Okay, Bruce could work with that. “Does your Dad know where you are right now?”

Tim snorted humorlessly. “I really don’t think he gives a shit where I am or what I do at this point. He—” Tim broke off to clear his throat before trying again. “He kicked me out.”

There was pure defeat in Tim’s voice, as if he’d always known it was a matter of time, but he still managed to be disappointed anyway. That more than anything filled Bruce with a level of rage rare even for him while simultaneously breaking his heart.

Not trusting himself to speak at first, Bruce instead gently pulled the poor teacup out of Tim’s grasp and took his hands in his own. Tim’s fingers were trembling.

“Because he found out about you and Conner?” he clarified softly, not wanting to risk a faulty assumption when everything was so fragile.

Tim nodded again anyway. “We fought about some other stuff too, but… yeah, it was mostly about that. He saw us together, and—”

Again, Bruce really wanted to shake Jack Drake senseless. It was bad enough he always seemed to take this wonderful kid for granted, but to see a father intentionally hurt his child over something so inconsequential? It was unforgiveable.

“I’m so sorry, Tim. I know how much you wanted this to work out.”

Tim’s eyes filled with tears, and Bruce was pulling him against his chest even before he consciously recognized what he was seeing. As his son fell apart in his arms, Bruce found tears coming to his own eyes as well.

It had always been obvious how desperate Tim was for his father’s affection and approval after being starved for it for so many years. This was the final deathblow to the hope that one day it would be enough.

So, Bruce held his son, running his fingers through his hair. Eventually, Tim had cried himself out and pulled away, his embarrassment clear on his face. Bruce pulled a clean handkerchief (courtesy of Alfred, of course) from his pocket and handed it to a grateful Tim. Once he had pulled himself together, Tim looked back at Bruce, finally meeting his eyes.

“Does this…Does this mean I can come back to the Manor?”

“Oh, chum…” Bruce reached out to cradle one side of Tim’s face in his hand, his thumb reaching out to brush away another rogue tear. “I promise, you will always have a place in my home. Got it?”

“But what about Stephanie? You already have a Robin…”

Bruce raised an eyebrow. “Well, first of all, your place in this family is not contingent on whether you’re wearing a mask or not. And I’m so sorry if I’ve made you think otherwise. You are just as welcome here if you never put a mask on again as you would be if you went out tomorrow.

And secondly,” here he grimaced, “I may or may not have fired her for putting herself in danger after I told her to stay put. So… Robin’s yours if you still want it.”

“And you’re really okay with me dating a guy?”

Bruce chuckled. “Tim, I’ve taken in three boys by now. You think I never considered the possibility that at least one of you might bring home a boy someday? Granted, I would have put money on Dick being the first, but the point still stands. It makes absolutely no difference to me if you’re gay, buddy.”

“Umm… I think I’m bi actually.”

“Alright then, but my point still stands. I trust your judgment, and I don’t care who you date, as long as they make you happy.”

Tim gave a watery smile. “Thanks, Bruce.”

“Anytime, kiddo.” Then fully out of emotion points, Bruce cleared his suddenly tight throat. “Now, mind coming with me to the cave?”

Confused, Tim cocked his head, but rose accommodatingly. “Sure, what do you need?”

Bruce shook his head as he spun the clock hands and opened the secret passage. “It’s not what I need, but what you need.” He beckoned Tim to follow him down the steps, which he did obligingly. “I need to grab some more Kryptonite.”

“Bruce!” Tim squawked in shock and indignation. His brain immediately went into panic mode, thinking about all the ways Bruce trying to shovel-talk Conner might go horribly wrong, or at least be horribly embarrassing.

Bruce turned back, completely baffled by how adamant and unexpected the refusal was. “Tim,” he started. And oh no, that was his I don’t know why you’re arguing with this perfectly reasonable request voice that always managed to piss Dick off.

“If the two of you are going to be spending time together in Gotham as civilians, you need to be prepared in case the two of you get caught up in one a Rogue attack.” He turned back around and continued on over to the vault where he kept the Kryptonite. “Oh, and don’t let me forget to give him one of these new rebreathers I’ve been working on next time he comes over. The last thing Gotham needs is a Kryptonian getting dosed with Fear Toxin or Joker Gas.”

Kryptonite in hand, Bruce spun and nearly walked into a frozen Tim who was looking at him with a dumbfounded expression. “What?” he asked, the smallest bit of defensiveness bleeding into his voice.

Tim’s voice turned slightly skeptical. “And that’s the only thing you want the Kryptonite for?”

Now it was Bruce’s turn to be confused. “Yes???” he asked, mind whirling to figure out what he was missing.

Tim realized he had definitely misread where this was going and felt torn between laughing at Bruce’s complete confusion and the urge to hug him.

He decided to go with the second one, and if Bruce still had no idea what was going on when he hugged Tim back, well, that just made it better.

-0

Conner was happy enough to take the call that saved him from having to help seed the backfield. He was twice as happy to hear it was from Tim, who he hadn’t heard from since Conner left him at Wayne Manor three days ago.

“Tim?”

“Conner…”

“Tim, is that…you?”

“It’s me.”

“What’s up? What’s going on? I hear gunshots.”

“Tell the Titans not to give up my room. Tell them I’m back.”

Conner grinned. “I knew it.”

[flowercrown-bard]

To give without knowing (9/?)

word count: ~5k

read on AO3

previous / next

"Geralt look!" Jaskier turned towards Geralt with a grin. His eyes were half-hidden behind a curtain of wet hair that he had given up on wiping out of his forehead once he had realised that the storm would render his efforts useless. "We're saved!"

Geralt grunted. Through narrowed eyes he looked at the hut in the distance, not sure if he could share Jaskier’s enthusiasm but unwilling to dim it.

Jaskier's excitement was palpable. His steps became longer and he tugged at Geralt's arm insistently.

"Come on, the quicker we get there, the faster we're going to be out of this miserable rain." When Geralt resumed at his own pace, Jaskier swatted a hand at his arm. "I’ll blame you if my boots end up ruined because of this."

Geralt’s lips quirked up. "Not much to ruin there. They were ugly when you bought them."

Jaskier squawked in indignation, but his mouth closed when Geralt patted Roach's flank. He had taken to walk beside her lately to made sure she didn't have to carry more than strictly necessary. "The old girl won't be able to make it through the mud without slipping if we're going any faster."

Something soft flashed across Jaskier's face. It looked suspiciously like pity.

"Of course," Jaskier said quietly and slowed his pace again until he walked on Roach's other side.

Geralt tried not to listen in, but he couldn't help it when Jaskier started coaxing Roach with praise and his soothing voice. No longer was Jaskier bickering with the horse for trying to nip at him and Geralt knew that Jaskier knew.

Roach had been a good horse, but age and a minor yet consequential injury had made her slow.

Slow witchers didn't live for long.

Still, Geralt couldn't bring himself to get rid of Roach just yet. It would be better for her and better for Geralt if he got himself a new horse, but the irrational part of him that talked to his horse as if she could understand him and sought comfort in burying his fingers in her mane couldn't let her go just yet.

Jaskier knew. He didn't say as much, but Geralt saw it in the way Jaskier looked at him when he stroked Roach's soft nose or in the way he snuck her more treats than usually. He heard it in the way that Jaskier didn't playfully insult Roach anymore. Jaskier knew that Geralt should give her away and he knew why he didn't.

A harsh gust of wind tore at Geralt's hair and the rain pricked his face like needles. If it was this cold and uncomfortable for Geralt, then Jaskier must be freezing. The late summer was still warm, but once the sun was hidden behind walls of clouds, it was impossible to ignore that autumn was nigh.

"Come here," Geralt said more roughly than he had aimed for.

Still, despite his tone and Jaskier's bad first experience of Geralt asking him to come closer, Jaskier obligated without hesitation. Geralt guided Jaskier to walk between him and Roach. It wasn't much better, but at least like this Jaskier would be shielded a little from the biting wind. Jaskier gave Geralt a grateful smile.

Geralt tried not to read too much into the way Jaskier leaned into him as they continued trudging through the storm. Jaskier was just seeking warmth and this, at least, Geralt was able to give him. That, of course, was the only reason why Geralt, too, shuffled closer to Jaskier.

Geralt's nerves flared up with every laboured step they took towards the hut. They needed the shelter, but there was no guarantee that whoever lived there would grant such a thing to a witcher. To Jaskier, surely. Maybe even to Roach if Jaskier put on that pleading look of his. But Geralt? He couldn't be sure. Jaskier had improved his reputation in the big cities where his songs were widely spread and popular, but in this remote place? There was no guarantee these people had even ever heard of Jaskier.

And if Geralt was turned away, he knew that there was no chance that Jaskier would stay. The pink scar on his forehead proved that much. Guilt spiked through Geralt. It had been Jaskier's choice to stand between him and the stones, but it had been Geralt's fault it had even come to that. And now, it might become Geralt's fault that Jaskier might not accept dry and warm shelter because of Geralt.

It was no use worrying. He would find out soon enough whether he would be chased away or not.

When they reached the hut, Geralt didn't move. He pressed his hand against Roach's neck as if she was the one needing reassurance, while Jaskier knocked on the wooden door. Geralt let his eyes wander over the hut. A part of the roof had very obviously been patched by someone who hadn’t known what they’d been doing and the window shutters looked as if there was a good chance of them getting torn off if the wind got any harsher. If it weren’t for the muffled sounds of worried voices from the inside, Geralt would have assumed the hut was abandoned.

The wait for the door to open felt like an eternity. The voices stopped and now the only sounds were the drumming of the rain and the bleating of sheep coming from an adjoined pen and barn. Then, hurried steps joined the noise and the door creaked open just enough to reveal an elderly woman looking at them suspiciously.

"Dear lady," Jaskier began with his charming performance smile, "you have such a lovely house. My friend and I -"

He was cut off by a sneeze. Sniffling, his smile returned, but this time it was more sheepish than suave.

Without taking a second to think about his actions, Geralt put an arm around Jaskier's shoulder, draping half of his cloak around him in the process.

The old woman's suspicion vanished in the blink of an eye and more wrinkles appeared around her eyes as she smiled.

"Oh dearie, you must be so cold." She took a step back and opened the door fully. "Come in, come in."

She ushered Jaskier inside and turned around. "Basia, come here!" she shouted over her shoulder. "Show this young man where to put his horse."

A girl who looked like she could be the old woman's grandchild appeared in the doorway, looking up at Geralt with curious brown eyes.

He nearly squirmed under the scrutiny, but then a grin broke onto the girl's face.

„She’s so pretty, can I pet her?”

Without waiting for permission, she reached out for Roach’s face. Geralt caught her wrist lightly.

“Don’t,” he said, trying to sound less gruff than normally. “She bites when you spook her.” Roach might be used to carrying bloody trophies, but on the Path a horse’s natural instincts to run away from danger were often invaluable to keep it alive. “Try it like this.”

He held out his own flat hand. Basia looked at him with big eyes and mimicked the gesture.

“Let her come to you.” Geralt let go of her wrist and watched as her eyes grew even bigger when Roach curiously sniffed her hand and nibbled gently at the girl’s sleeve. Basia turned her hand to stroke Roach’s soft nose and let out a small giggle when Roach huffed, blowing hot air at her.

“She likes you,” he stated the obvious, but it made the girl’s face light up.

“I like her too. And you. You’re nice.”

Geralt huffed, not unlike Roach and crossed his arms in front of his chest, unsure what else to do.

The girl didn’t seem to mind his awkwardness. “I’ll show you the barn.”

As if it was the most normal thing in the world, she took Roach’s reins with one hand and Geralt’s hand with her other.

His heart stuttered and he threw a panicked look at Jaskier who by now was sitting at a table inside the hut with a blanket over his head and soup thrust into his hands. Jaskier’s eyes were on Geralt and there was something unbearably soft in them. Geralt lifted a brow in question and nodded towards the girl, doing his best to convey a silent help me to Jaskier, but instead of telling him how to handle this situation, Jaskier only grinned at his discomfort. Maybe it was a little encouraging too, but mainly Jaskier just seemed to enjoy watching how a feared fighter was powerless in the presence of a little girl.

Unaware or uncaring of Geralt’s uncertainty and Jaskier’s betrayal, the girl tugged at Geralt’s hand and led him around the hut towards the barn. Geralt was already thoroughly drenched, but the girl still tried to save herself from the rain.

Once they were inside the barn, she shook her head like a wet dog, letting her locks fly into her face.

“You can put her in that box,” she said. With a harsh noise, she shooed some of the chickens fluttering about away and propped herself onto a box standing at the wall, her legs dangling over the edge. “My Pa used to have a horse, but he had to sell it after the last storm broke our roof.”

Geralt hummed with a frown.

“He’s away now,” Basia continued while Geralt but Roach in the box and began unbuckling the saddle girth. “He went into town some days ago to sell the eggs and wool but it takes him forever to get back now without the horse.”

Geralt’s brows furrowed. “He wouldn’t try to come back in this weather, would he?”

The girl shook her head. “My Pa is smart. He said not to go outside when there’s a storm. The only time he did was because some of the sheep had run away and he had to catch them. Because he’s also brave.”

Geralt offered her a small smile. “So are you, aren’t you?”

She cocked her head to the side. “I don’t think so. I want to be. But I never go outside and I never catch sheep. Storms are scary.”

Geralt’s lips twitched. “You tried to pet Roach. That’s a brave thing to do.”

Or a stupid thing, if the person in question was a bard who thought it was a good idea to approach a horse from behind and try to touch it without warning.

The girl’s nose scrunched up at the name, reminding Geralt too much of a certain bard. Had Jaskier been like this as a child? Red-cheeked and talking wide-eyed about wanting to be brave?

“Has your Pa ever taught you how to take care of a horse?”

Basia shook her head.

“Do you want to learn?”

Immediately, the girl jumped down from the box, brimming with excitement. “Really? You’ll teach me?”

Geralt hummed. “I’m not a good teacher,” he warned her, even as he offered her a brush.

Basia’s jaw was set in determination. “But I’m a good student. Gandma says so.”

And she was. She watched with hawk-eyes how Geralt brushed Roach down and rubbed the sweat and rain off of her, before mimicking everything she had seen on Roach’s other side, at least as far as she could reach.

When Geralt was satisfied and Roach was thoroughly cleaned and fed, they made their way back to the hut where the old woman promptly shoved a woolly blanket and a towel at Geralt.

“Dry your hair, dear,” she said in an unexpectedly commanding voice. “I’ll not have you get sick under my roof.”

“I can’t get sick,” Geralt protested.

The woman put her hands on her hips, but before she could scold Geralt, Jaskier pushed off the table, his chair scratching against the floor.

As he stood up, the blanket wrapped around Jaskier slid down his shoulders and it took Geralt a moment to catch up with what he was seeing.

Jaskier was no longer wearing that purple doublet that had turned dark with the rain, but modest and almost baggy looking clothes that he normally wouldn't have touched with a pole. The old woman must have been kind enough to give Jaskier some of her son's clothing.

It looked wrong somehow seeing Jaskier like this, which was strange. The discomfort at seeing Jaskier wear this didn't come from the lack of colour or fancy frills. Jaskier had stolen Geralt's clothes often enough when his own had gotten dirty or he didn't want them to tear when they had to crawl through underbrush. Geralt had never had a problem with Jaskier wearing his clothes, no matter how colourless or ill-fitting they were - sliding down Jaskier's shoulders or with sleeves that hid Jaskier's hand inside with how much too long they were.

So it didn't make sense that there was a hot iron burning around Geralt's heart at the sight of Jaskier in someone else's clothes and with tossed hair. It was probably just the bitterness of knowing that Geralt himself would need to stay in his soaked clothes - there was no chance he would fit into the stranger's clothes if they were offered and he doubted any of his spare clothes had remained safe from the rain.

“Don’t worry, Ollga,” Jaskier said with a grin. “He is stubborn as an ox. Let me.”

Geralt didn’t know whether that last part was directed at Ollga or at him, for Jaskier took the towel out of his hands and began rubbing his hair. Geralt shot him a glare. He was sure Jaskier was putting extra force behind it, too delighted to see Geralt already gobsmacked.

Jaskier only returned his glare with a wink. “I’m just taking care of you. Really, dear heart, you take more care of Roach than of yourself.”

Geralt snorted. “You say that as if you don’t jump at every opportunity to pamper me as if I was some delicate flower.”

A blush rose in Jaskier’s lips and he narrowed his eyes at Geralt, but before he had a chance to come up with a witty retort, Basia piped up.

“He didn’t take care of Roach. I did.” She jabbed a thumb proudly at her own chest.

Jaskier’s eyebrows shot up. “He let you touch Roach?”

She nodded eagerly. “He said I was brave for touching her.”

“I wholeheartedly agree.” Jaskier’s lips twitched into a grin. “Geralt, you never told me you thought I was brave.”

“That’s because you’re not. You are an idiot.” He said it with no heat. Or rather, with a different kind of heat, one he wasn’t sure he liked or wanted Jaskier to know about.

“Oh really?” Something sparkled in Jaskier’s eyes, the kind of glint that meant that Jaskier knew he had the high-ground. “Because last time I checked, I was master of the seven liberal arts.”

“You carry around a stick as if it’s an expensive jewel. You tell me which one of us is the idiot.”

“Ah, but darling, it is the stick you gave me. That makes it far more precious than any old jewel, wouldn’t you say?”

This time it was Geralt who got saved from having to come up with a retort.

“It’s adorable watching you two bicker,” Ollga said. Geralt pointedly avoided looking at Jaskier’s eyes or flushed cheeks before he said something he’d regret. “But how about we finish eating first before the soup gets cold.”

Thankful for the out, Geralt nodded. He ate in silence, as Jaskier entertained their hosts with tales of the fae and the adventures they’ve had together.

Basia listened with shining eyes and told Jaskier her own stories, about how one time her Pa had let her ride on his old horse Daisy and how she had brushed down Roach.

Jaskier leaned closer to her, as if telling her a secret. “If you give her apple slices, she’ll let you plait her hair. And she likes it when you scratch her behind the ears.”

Geralt melted a little with every word Jaskier said. For as much as he had complained about Roach over the years, it was clear that he had a soft spot for the stubborn old girl and had done everything he could to win her favour. Just as he had never given up on getting Geralt to like him.

Basia was just in the middle of telling Jaskier about her Pa, when lightning cracked outside. The girl blanched and slung her arms around herself.

“It’s alright, love,” Ollga said, “it’s just a storm. You’re safe in here. Nothing bad is going to happen.”

Basia lowered her eyes. “Did last time. When the roof came down.”

Geralt’s heart clenched painfully when he saw the fear in the girl’s eyes. Too vividly did he remember the many times he himself had been afraid as a child, with no adults who comforted him or told him that nothing bad would happen to him.

He wished he had the words to offer the comfort he had never received himself.

“Everything is going to be alright,” Jaskier declared with such a confidence that for a moment, Basia’s eyes lost that glimmer of fear. “Do you want to know why?”

“Why?” she asked in a small voice.

Jaskier held her eyes for a moment, building the suspense, before reaching into the bags he had put down next to his chair.

“Because I have this.” With that, he presented one of his treasures; the sheep. “Remember what I told you about the fae?”

Basia nodded with round eyes.

“Well, I just so happen to have been blessed by them multiple times. And this blessing here,” he held the sheep up a little higher, “makes it so that you are safe when you sleep. Since I’ve had it, I haven’t had a single nightmare or woke up because something bad had happened.”

“And it can protect you from storms?”

Jaskier grinned at her. “Of course it can. After all, Geralt and I have been stuck in the storm and then found the two nicest people this side of the Pontar to help us. If that’s not a sign that this sheep is magic, I don’t know what is.” He leaned back in his chair, looking pensive. “I was going to ask if you wanted to have it for the night, but if you don’t believe that it is magic, I don’t think you would want it.”

“I do!” Basia almost shouted.

“Basia,” Ollga scolded her and the girl gave Jaskier a sheepish smile.

A little quieter, but with no less excitement, she repeated, “I do. Can I please hold it?”

Jaskier’s smile became brilliantly bright. “Of course.”

He handed over the sheep. Geralt was sure he was the only one who noticed the hesitation before Jaskier let go. Jaskier kept his eyes trained on the wooden figure and his smile was a little strained before he smoothed it out.

“Now nothing can happen to you.”

Basia nodded, but a low rumble of thunder made her flinch again.

Geralt’s jaw tightened and his eyes flickered from Jaskier to the sheep. “It’s not complete yet.”

Jaskier’s eyebrows shot up and Basia cocked her head. “What do you mean?”

Geralt squirmed a little in his seat. “It’s a gift from the fae, but you have to do something to make it yours. So it knows who to protect.”

His eyes darted back to Jaskier, silently asking for permission. He needn’t have worried. Jaskier’s eyes were soft and almost adoring.

“Of course, how could I forget! Maybe Geralt was right after all and I am an idiot.” But he wasn’t. Jaskier was so clever, brilliant even, catching on and playing along without missing a beat. “What do you say, we try to make the sheep a bit fluffier?”

Geralt’s lips quirked up. “You said your father sells wool?” he asked, though his eyes were on Ollga, who gave him a grateful nod, her hand resting fondly on her granddaughter’s shoulder.

“I’ll go get some.”

Attaching the wool to Friend wasn’t as easy as Geralt had imagined. But as Basia and Jaskier worked together to give the sheep some wool, laughter rang through the hut, almost loud enough to drown out the sounds of the storm raging outside. The child was thoroughly distracted and by the time they were done and the sheep resembled a cloud more than a wooden sheep, night had fallen outside and Basia was yawning unabashedly.

Ollga brushed her hand through the girl’s curls. “Time for bed, hm?”

Basia nodded, but before she followed her grandmother to the only other room, she pressed the sheep against her chest and turned to Jaskier. “It’s so smoft now!”

Geralt’s inside turned to something soft when he saw Jaskier lower his head for a second to hide his laugh.

“It sure is,” Jaskier agreed once he caught himself again.

Basia ran her ran over the sheep, but her brows were drawn together in concern. “But do you think it’s enough? Does the sheep know now that you borrowed it to me?”

“Hmm,” Jaskier made and ran his fingers through his hair, pretending to think. “There is one more thing I think I need to do. Did you know that the fae love songs? If I sing a song about sheep to you, I am sure the fae will accept that for tonight the sheep is yours.”

“Jaskier,” Geralt whispered in warning. “As much as you love that song, I don’t think the fishmonger’s daughter is appropriate.”

Jaskier gasped in indignation. “Geralt, what do you think of me? That song isn’t even about sheep. I’m not an amateur.”

Softly, Jaskier began to sing. It was a simple melody, clearly made up on the spot and designed to make a child fall asleep, but Geralt listened enraptured. “Sleep, darling, sleep. I’m giving you a sheep. With white wool and a friendly smile To hug, so you can sleep a while Sleep, darling, sleep.”

As Jaskier's melody rang through the tiny room and Basia's heartbeat calmed, Geralt felt himself transported back to all the different times he himself had lain awake at night.

Geralt was no stranger to nightmares or dark thoughts preventing him from falling asleep. He also was no stranger of hiding such things. He hadn't thought that Jaskier could have ever realised that Geralt was suffering from nightmares, but now that he thought about it, he remembered soft humming in the dead of night. Geralt had always thought that that was just Jaskier being unable to keep a new composition to himself no matter the time of night. But now as he watched Jaskier sing a girl out of her fear, Geralt wasn't so sure anymore. “Sleep, darling, sleep. You’re bleating like a sheep When you sleep you’re snoring I’ll wake you in the morning Sleep, darling, sleep.“

By the end of Jaskier’s lullaby, Basia’s eyelids had dropped and Ollga just about managed to keep her awake for long enough to get her to bed and tuck her in.

Geralt and Jaskier remained awkwardly standing at the table. They exchanged looks and Jaskier lifted his shoulders, clueless as to what they were supposed to do now.

It didn't take long for Ollga to appear again. She pulled the door to the bedroom close quietly so as not to wake the sleeping girl. Then she turned towards them with an apologetic expression.

"I am afraid that's our only bedroom," she nodded towards the door behind her. "I wish I could offer you a bed, you have been so kind to the child, but there's nothing -"

"Don't worry." Jaskier stepped forward and touched her arm briefly in comfort. You have already been kinder to us than most people would have been in your place. Geralt and I don't mind not sleeping in beds. If you'll allow us to stay the night, we could sleep in the barn? "

Geralt's eyes widened and it took a great effort not to make a surprised sound. He knew that Jaskier was used to not sleeping in beds, of course, but it hadn't occurred to him that Jaskier would be the one to suggest sleeping surrounded by animals when he could instead be sleeping in the kitchen in front of a hearth.

He forced his heart to remain calm when Jaskier looked at him for confirmation and nodded.

"Roach gets anxious during storms. She'll be happy about having some company."

-

The storm didn't let up as they made themselves comfortable in Roach's box. They lay close to her, close enough to touch and calm her whenever she threw her head back with rolling eyes when thunder clapped, and used the hay in lieu of a mattress.

It wasn't perfect. The rain drummed onto the roof and the wind howled through the cracks in the walls, but Geralt couldn't have been more comfortable.

At least, until Jaskier started tossing and turning. With every minute they spent in the barm, more and more of the facade of carefree confidence from before fell away until Jaskier was shaking and wincing almost as much as Basia had whenever the thunder roared.

Something tightened in Geralt's chest. The last time he had seen Jaskier like this in the late hours had been months ago, when he had carved the sheep for him. Since then, not a night had passed that Jaskier hadn't had Friend close to him in his sleep.

Jaskier's frantic heartbeat was louder than the storm to Geralt's ears.

He wanted to help. But he didn't have the time or the wood to carve another protector for Jaskier and he didn't have a soothing voice like Jaskier did to sing or talk him to sleep. There was nothing he could do. Nothing but –

"Jaskier?" he asked quietly. He was Jaskier's friend and he would be a poor one if he didn't try - if he didn't at least offer -

"Yeah?" Jaskier's voice didn't tremble, but it was a damn near thing.

Geralt wasn't soft. Nor was he friendly looking. But Jaskier had said... Months ago he had said there was one way to help him sleep peacefully.

"I can hold you," Geralt said stiffly. The words sounded wooden and not at all like the beautiful images Jaskier had conjured up in Geralt's mind back then with his words.

Jaskier turned to him. Pieces of hay were stuck in his hair and had left an abstract pattern on his skin. He looked like a mess. He looked beautiful.

"You would do that?"

Geralt swallowed thickly. He wanted to look away, but forced himself to keep eye contact. He couldn't mess this up. If Jaskier gave any sign of not wanting this, Geralt couldn't miss it.

"If you wanted to."

Jaskier smiled and the sun broke forth from the clouds in the midst of a thunderstorm.

Geralt opened his arms a little and without a hint of hesitation, Jaskier scooted closer and pressed himself against Geralt, nuzzling his face into his chest.

"Thank you," he whispered and his lips brushed Geralt. Even through the thin fabric of his shirt, it set his skin ablaze. He couldn't breathe, couldn't think. The only thing he could do was tighten his arms around Jaskier and close his eyes as he buried his nose in Jaskier's hair.

Behind them, Roach snorted softly as she drifted off to sleep.

This should have been perfect. Geralt was holding Jaskier in his arms - he was being a good friend, a kind and comforting person - he was warm and dry and Roach was happy.

So why did his heart grow so heavy?

He knew. In his heart of hearts, he knew even though he did not yet dare to allow the thought into his mind or past his lips.

But Jaskier knew it too.

His finger started to draw soothing circles onto Geralt’s chest and playing with his medallion. It was distracting, painfully so. Geralt lost himself on Jaskier's touch and suddenly, as if a damn had broken, the words flooded out if his mouth, not many but enough to know the inevitable was coming.

"Roach likes this stable. It's dry. Bigger than the ones at most inns."

Jaskier nodded against him. "Do you think the chickens and her would get along? Because I like to think the chickens would take my place as the obligatory annoyance Roach has to deal with to keep her occupied."

A low chuckle rumbled through Geralt's chest.

Jaskier smiled against him and continued, "Basia would talk to Roach like a certain someone."

Geralt snorted. "The child would spoil her like another certain someone."

Jaskier chuckled. "The poor old lady wouldn't have a minute or peace."

"Who? Roach or Ollga?"

"Both. Obviously. But they would also be happy. Basia is a good kid."

Geralt hummed in agreement. "Her father is in need of a horse."

"She would probably go to Roach for comfort during the next storm."

"She's a brave girl. She would comfort Roach."

Jaskier was quiet for a moment and Geralt had to squeeze his eyes shut to stop the burning in them. Witchers couldn't cry. Sometimes he wished they could.

"Geralt?" Jaskier asked quietly, his fingers wandering up to Geralt's hair and running through them in calming motions.

It was no longer Geralt that comforted Jaskier.

"I'm going to leave her here." The words felt wrong, even though he knew they needed to be said. No weight was lifted off his chest and no sudden relief washed over him. He just felt tired. "It's for the best. When Basia's father comes back he'll take care of Roach and Basia will talk to her and be there for her."

Jaskier's fingers halted for a second. When Jaskier spoke again, his voice sounded unsure and serious. "Geralt, she's not going to replace you. You know that, don't you?"

Geralt didn't reply.

Jaskier lifted his head and propped himself up on his elbows so he could look Geralt in the eyes. He was leaning over him. Not caging him in, but shielding him from the world.

"You're not replaceable, Geralt. Just as little as she is replaceable to you."

Geralt let out a mirth less laugh. "That's a bad example."

"Why?" Jaskier challenged. "Because you are going to buy a new horse? Because you are going to give the next one the same name? That means nothing, Geralt. You can't deny that she's important to you. As was the last one. As will the next one be."

Geralt remained quiet, but his hands pulled Jaskier closer to him. He hoped Jaskier understood the silent gesture as the thanks that it was. Geralt was sure he did. Jaskier always understood.

He settled back against Geralt and hummed softly.

Slowly the storm quieted down but Jaskier stayed snuggled against Geralt. Sniffles that had nothing to do with having gotten caught in the rain interrupted his humming until he gave up fully.

"I will miss her," Jaskier said for the both of them. "She is a wonderful friend, the old shrew."

Is, not was. It made something in Geralt's chest loosen, made him finally feel lighter.

"I'll leave Friend with Basia," Jaskier said and turned his face so Geralt couldn't see it.

He didn't need to, in order to know how devastated Jaskier was at the thought alone and yet he had sounded determined.

A frown darkened Geralt's face. "Why? You love - that sheep is important to you."

Jaskier didn't try to deny it. "Of course it is. And Roach is important to you." He gave a wet laugh. "To me too, if you can believe it. I want her to have something to remember us by."

"Don't worry," Geralt whispered in Jaskier's hair and it felt like a confession. "You are not someone who’s easy to forget."

Jaskier let out a shuddering breath that send chills down Geralt's spine when it hit his bare neck.

"I'm going to tell Basia she can keep the sheep," Jaskier said firmly. "To keep her safe so she can always look after Roach."

"And what about you?"

Jaskier lifted his head just enough that Geralt could see the unwavering trust and sincerity in his eyes.

"I have you. And you'll have me too."

---

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[sevenstarsinning]

Sweat

This is an idea we decided to turn into a co-written chapter fic.

It picks up with already established relationships. Basically, you’re friends with Vegeta and secretly falling for him, he’s in a horrible relationship (not with Bulma), and Goku makes you an unexpected offer to help ease some of the tension. It’s probably going to end up being messy and we honestly have no idea exactly where it’s going but there will be lots of mutual pining, angst, and smut as the story unfolds.

Chapter 1

You had never met anyone stronger than your best friend, Vegeta. Except maybe his other best friend that he repeatedly refused to acknowledge as such. It had to be the most dysfunctional bromance you had ever seen but it somehow worked. Befriending Vegeta meant you inevitably befriended the goofy and lighthearted Goku. And when Vegeta wasn’t around, which was happening more frequently, you were with Goku. 

You knew from the moment you met Kyla that Vegeta was in for one hell of a bumpy ride. But you gave her the benefit of the doubt, maybe there was some small part of you that disliked her for taking so much of his time. Between training and Kyla’s constant need for attention, Vegeta was barely around, and when he was, he was miserable.

You pushed open the front door of Goku’s house with four bags of takeout in your hands and called out for him. The faint sound of his snores traveled down the hallway.

“Goku,” you said in a soft voice when you pushed his door open, “I have food.”

“I’m awake!” He shot up in bed, perfect chest on full display and still half asleep.

“Vegeta canceled on me again at the last minute because of Kyla reasons so it looks like we’re spending another day together.” After placing the bags on the bed, you crawled up next to him and started digging in.

"It sucks he keeps canceling, but that just means more food for me." Goku beamed as he tore into one of the bags.

"Yeah, he must really like her." You couldn't help the uneasy feeling you got about Vegeta's girlfriend. It wasn't that you completely hated her, but she just gave off a negative vibe that turned your stomach.

"He said she's strong, like a saiyan," Goku mumbled with a mouthful of food.

"Is that what he- I mean, you guys look for in a girlfriend?" Your curiosity was piqued.

Goku shoveled some more food in his mouth, "Vegeta says so. But I just want someone who can cook for me."

"I'm assuming you want someone that can cook well? Because plenty of people can cook but not all of them are good at it." You reached for the container of chicken egg rolls prompting Goku to grab one as it passed in front of him.

"You can cook good," he said, his voice muffled by an ungodly amount of food.

"I can cook okay. Is this your not so subtle way of telling me you want me to cook for you more often?" You raised an eyebrow and glanced at him.

"Would you?" He said with a goofy grin and hopeful eyes.

"If it'll make you happy." You smiled at him, shaking your head as he stuffed his face.

You both continued to eat, talking about food and fighting for the most part. Goku loved telling you about past fights and how his power level has increased, even though you knew nothing about it.

"So, super saiyan two is above super saiyan god, right?" You toyed with him.

“Huh? No! What gave you that idea?” He shoveled another egg roll in his mouth, oblivious as usual to the fact that you were just messing with him.

“Wait, you still have to show me ultra instinct,” you exclaimed, slapping his muscular arm, “you promised me weeks ago.”

“Oh yeah!” He swallowed a large bite of food and put his plate down. “Want me to do it now?”

“No! I’ve seen you transform in the house before, shit goes flying and I don’t want to lose the food.”

"Oh, you're right. We don't wanna lose the food. I'll do it outside then." He jumped up with as much energy as normal.

You were a little slower, especially since you'd just eaten your weight in egg rolls and rice. 

"Okay, but be careful of the house." You warned as you followed him outside.

He threw you over his shoulder without warning and flew towards the back of the yard.

"Goku, stomach, full!" You squirmed in his grasp.

"Oh! I always forget humans get full really fast!" He lowered to the ground and let you slide down his body at your own pace.

"You okay?"

You grimaced at the discomfort of being jostled that much on a full stomach. "Yeah, I'll be fine. Just transform."

He stepped back from you and started with a low growl as he powered up. You watched his aura glow as his muscles bulged and his hair changed colors. 

"Is this safe?" You asked but received no answer as he continued.

You took a step back when his growl started getting louder, eventually turning into a powerful yell that echoed all around. The nearby trees swayed and the ground underneath you shook. When you turned your attention back to Goku, the yelling faded and your breath caught in your throat.

"Fuck..." You stared at him.

His chest was even more defined, his hair was silver, and a translucent aura surrounded him.

"Well? What do you think of this form?" His voice was at least an octave lower.

"It's... fuck-" Your eyes searched for a place to remain fixed but he just looked so amazing that you couldn't look away from all of it.

"Judging by your scent, I'm assuming you like it." He stepped closer to you. Playful Goku was all but gone and the vibes he was giving off were making you see him in a totally different light. But that couldn't happen. Not when you were pining for someone else.

The moment he touched your waist, you were seconds from risking your friendship with him to satisfy the ache between your thighs.

"Goku..." Your voice was barely above a whisper as he moved closer.

Your mouth went dry as he stared down at you. Everything was telling you just to give in and let him do whatever he pleased and deal with the consequences later. He leaned down and inhaled your scent. You weren't positive, but it felt like his lips grazed your neck.

"You'd be perfect for breeding," he whispered in your ear.

"Goku, what are you trying to do?" Just the word 'breeding' sent your mind into a daze.

"This form... relies on pure instinct." His breathing had changed to short shallow breaths and he remained close.

"W-We aren't breeding, Goku." It was difficult to turn him down.

"We could." He tilted your chin up and you wanted to fight it and avoid making eye contact but it wasn’t happening. The sudden shift in him sent your curiosity and hormones into overdrive.

"Are you saying your instinct is to breed with me?"

"Yes. Especially with that enticing scent coming from between your legs." He inhaled sharply again.

You felt like a moth to the flame, unable to stop yourself from being drawn in.

"How would that affect our friendship?" You asked, fully engulfed in him.

"It doesn't have to affect it at all. It's just satisfying a need we both have." His lips grazed your cheek. "I can smell you every time Vegeta is around."

"Wait, you what?"

"Your need... you can't hide it." He continued to speak low and close to your skin.

"D- Does he know?" You felt yourself panicking already.

"I don't think so. He's never mentioned it."

"And if we... did this, we would still be okay? Just a friends with benefits thing?" You were torn between instant gratification and remaining faithful to a man that wasn't even yours. Vegeta had Kyla and no amount of wishing was going to change that.

"It's just an itch that needs to be scratched." Everything he said made sense and you were so close to just giving in, but there was still a thread of you that had doubts.

"I just don't know..."

"Let me show you how good it could feel." His lips grazed just below your ear as his hand moved down your stomach.

Before he could go any further, your phone vibrated in your pocket, snapping you out of the haze. Goku remained close and pressed his lips to your neck.

"Goku, wait. It's Vegeta," you said, looking down at his face on your incoming call screen.

"Hey... pal?" You silently cursed yourself for being so awkward.

"Why do you sound weird?" He asked.

"I'm not weird- I mean, I'm perfectly normal sounding. What's up?" You continued to stumble.

"Do you still want to do something today?" He asked with a noticeable amount of hesitation in his voice.

"I always do," you admitted way too fast. "What changed since you canceled?"

"Woman, what's wrong with you right now?"

"Nothing. I'm just- hanging out with Goku. He was showing me his new form." You were struggling to focus as Goku nuzzled against your neck.

"Are you with Kakarot now?" He asked, still suspicious of you.

"Y-yeah, he's um... he's walking around here in ultra instinct form."

Goku's hand moved down your back to rest on the curve of your ass.

"I'll be there soon," he grunted before hanging up.

"I can make you come quickly," Goku said against your ear.

"Fuck, you can't say things like that. It's already so hard to say no." You sighed.

"Then don't say no. Let me." His hand moved down past your ass and between your thighs from behind, teasing you through your clothes.

"Goku, we can't."

You moaned involuntarily and pressed your body against his. He was so big and you could feel the power radiating off of him. Ultra instinct was definitely your favorite form next to blue.

"We can," he whispered, pressing his hand against your soaked cunt.

"You want it. You need it." He pressed against your clit.

"God I really do, but-" You whimpered as he touched you.

"Tell me what you need." His lips pressed against your neck.

"Woman! Where are you?" Vegeta yelled from the house. You quickly pulled away and tried to shake off the urge to let Goku fuck you against a tree.

"Let's talk tonight, okay?" You weren't ready to shut it down completely because you desperately needed it but there were things to consider.

He smirked with an arrogance that you'd seen on Vegeta's face. The new form really did change him.

"I'm back here,” you called out, still trying to regain some focus.

Vegeta lifted up into the air and flew over. "Showing off, Kakarot?"

"She wanted it," Goku said, glancing at you. You elbowed him in the ribs and walked up to Vegeta when he landed.

"Hey, gorgeous." You grinned when he scowled at you.

"Something is definitely wrong with you." He commented, looking you up and down.

"Stop saying that. I'm being perfectly normal." You felt your cheeks flush, hoping he didn't pick up on the same scent Goku did.

A low growl emanated from him. "You can't hide from me. I know when something is off."

"Why don't you tell me what's going on with you?" You challenged, knowing he would hold it in as long as he could.

"Kakarot, what's wrong with her? Did you do something?"

"I didn't do anything. She was already like this." Goku denied any hand in your awkwardness.

"Will you both stop talking like I'm not here?" You shot the both of them harsh glances.

"Don't glare at me, woman, I just got here," Vegeta chided. He crossed his arms and stared back, still searching for some indication of what was going on.

"I know what's wrong," Goku chimed in.

You immediately looked at Goku, begging him not to say anything. 

"What is it, Kakarot?" Vegeta asked as he glanced between the two of you.

"Weren't you just saying how bad you wanted a day away from the city?"

You let out the breath you were holding and glanced at Vegeta.

"Why was that such a secret?" He asked, suspicions growing by the second.

"I didn't want you to feel like you have to take me somewhere." You shrugged, hoping he would buy it.

"That's ridiculous. Your inclinations don't dictate my actions." Vegeta was still skeptical.

"I just thought it would be nice to get away, but I didn't want to go alone." You continued with the lie.

"Why don't you take Kakarot?" 

"I would but I need to work on controlling the ultra instinct form, I need to be able to hold it longer." Goku was almost too good at lying.

Vegeta grunted, "fine, but we're flying and we're coming back at sunset."

Not only would you get to cling to Vegeta while he flew, you would also get to spend a few hours alone with him. It felt like a wish had been granted by the dragon balls, but you had to contain your excitement.

"If you don't want to go, I'm not gonna force you," you said, trying to play it cool.

"I said we'll go, woman. Are you ready now?" He seemed even more on edge than usual. You wanted to ask, but knew he wouldn't give an honest answer.

"Yeah, ready whenever you are. Goku, we'll talk later?" You glanced back at him.

He lowered his power level and returned to his base form, "as long as you're cooking, I'll be there."

Vegeta bent down to let you hop on his back. "Hold on tight." His body was so warm and his scent was perfect. The ache between your thighs multiplied before his feet even left the ground.

You glanced back to see that same smirk plastered to Goku's face just as Vegeta took off. You held onto him tight, wrapping your legs around him as he flew. You tucked your face down into his back, reveling in how perfect his body felt against yours.

You didn't even know where he was taking you and it didn't matter. You would've been happy just flying around with him. Even though you had deep feelings for him, he was also your best friend and you missed him so much.

"Woman! You're too quiet."

"I'm not super fond of heights,” you admitted.

"You'll adjust,” he replied, offering no other comfort.

"Talk to distract me. How's Kyla?" You asked, even though you didn't really care.

"Frustrating as most of you humans are," he grumbled. You felt him take a deep breath and let it out.

"You know you can talk to me about anything, right? I won't try to fix it, I can just listen," you offered.

"What's the point in talking about it?" He sighed.

"To get it out. It helps just to talk sometimes." You urged.

He let out another sigh, "she's insufferable sometimes. I do what she wants but it's still not good enough."

"Did you get into a fight?"

Vegeta was generally very closed off when it came to talking about his relationship but you knew there was a least a little bit of fighting. You heard it when she called him a few times while you were hanging out.

"She kept pushing for me to stay with her today, so I did, and she was angry over something the entire time."

"Did she say what?" You pressed a little more.

"No, she just kept yelling about me choosing training over her and never spending time with her." He was finally opening up more, giving you a glimpse into his life.

"I mean, you were up front with her about how important training is, right? Before you got together?"

"She was well aware. I don't know why it's becoming a problem now. Frustrating woman," he growled.

"Not all women are like that. Most women are accepting of men's hobbies and often have their own,” you informed him.

"Maybe that's what she needs. A hobby. You could help her with that, couldn't you?" He asked as he neared the outskirts of the city.

"What, me?" You tried not to sound too surprised.

“You’re a woman, she’s a woman, surely there has to be something you have in common besides that?” He began to lower towards a hidden spot in the middle of a dense forest.

“Just because we’re women doesn’t mean we have hobbies in common but I can try, if you really want me to.”

"I wouldn't ask if I didn't think it would be helpful." He admitted as he finally stopped. You slid down his back and planted your feet on the ground, "I'll go see her tomorrow."

"Good, I have to train tomorrow. I'm surprised Kakarot didn't bring it up." He neared the water and stopped at the edge. You couldn't help but smile because he knew the exact kind of place to take you and it was out of cell range so you wouldn't be interrupted.

"I love coming out here. I wish I could just live here." You stepped towards the lake

"Away from everyone?" He glanced at you.

"I'd come visit if that's what you're worried about." You teased him with a nudge.

"I'd probably end up joining you. I don't care for humans."

"I didn't say anything about you joining me, and I'm a human, you'd get sick of me eventually." You gave him a sideways glance and smiled.

"You're one of the more bearable ones." He grunted.

You feigned a gasp, "is that a compliment? From the mighty prince Vegeta?"

"Stop it or I'll take it back." He blushed.

"Oh, no, you already said it. It's out there now." You grinned.

"No one else will know it was said if you don't make it back alive, woman." He raised an eyebrow in your direction.

"Oh please, you'd miss me too much. You'd be tracking down the dragon balls after a day. Dragging Goku along with you for yet another adventure," you mused.

"Adventu- we do not go on adventures. Take that back or I'm throwing you in the lake." He had turned to face you completely.

"You wouldn't dare. And what else do I call them? You go off and find things to fight or get into together,” you challenged him.

"Woman, I'm warning you. I know for a fact that water would be too cold for a weak little human like you." He stepped forward but you didn't budge.

"Throw me in that lake and you are coming to get me out. Do you really want to get all wet right now? Or do you just want to see me wet?" You played it off like you totally meant to say it but inside you were screaming.

He inched closer, "there are far easier ways for me to see you wet, woman."

You didn't know if he was joking, serious, or totally didn't mean it in the way you took it. You swallowed hard as the heat between your thighs returned and your need was back in full force.

“Oh yeah? Tell me how,” you challenged again. It wasn’t the best thing to do, but you finally had him possibly flirting. You had to see where it would go.

“Use your imagination, Earth woman. I’m sure you can figure it out.” Another statement that could be taken a number of ways and it left you even more flustered than before.

"You're just as insufferable as Earth women." You narrowed your eyes at him.

"As are you." He returned your glare.

It was taking everything you had not to launch yourself at him, but his words could have different meaning and you didn't want to misread anything.

“We’re both insufferable, maybe that’s why you like me so much.” You stepped forward, unable to stop yourself from pushing just a little bit more. There was a certain amount of guilt you felt because he was in a relationship but you pushed it aside, your judgement clouded by the overwhelming need to soothe the ache.

"You've been spending too much time with Kakarot. I don't like anyone." He said, but made no move to stop you.

"Then why bother taking me out of the city?" You wanted to know how he truly felt about you.

“Because I wanted to get away from humans for a while,” he said as if that was the most obvious answer.

“So, you took one with you? Just admit it, Prince Vegeta, you kinda like having me around,” you said, placing your hands on his shoulders.

His muscles tensed but quickly relaxed under your touch. “Like I said, you're one of the bearable ones."

"It's more than that and you know it. One day you'll give me a real compliment, I'll just wait til then." You dropped your hands to your sides and stepped away to turn towards the water. Having feelings for Vegeta was absolute torture but you couldn’t stop them from growing.

He stepped up next to you and sighed, “I don’t mind having you around.”

"Back at you." You smiled, enjoying the soft moment with him. You both stood there in silence for a moment. It was peaceful and it gave you time in your thoughts, which wasn't the best, but you had to calm yourself down before you did something stupid with him.

“Thank you for bringing me out here,” you said after a while. You took a chance and rested your head on his shoulder. It wasn’t the first time you did it, but that was only because you fell asleep next to him and ended up there. His body tensed but he didn’t move and that was enough for you.

[inanotherheadspace]

The Adventures of Team Lune - Chapter Three: The Tale of Two Kitties

Summary: A dragon slayer, a demon slayer, and a god slayer walk into a Guild Hall… and all goes to hell

Pairings: Natsu x Fem OC, Gajeel x Fem OC, Gray x Fem OC, Sting x Fem OC, Laxus x Fem OC, Loke x Fem OC

Word Count: 2,817

Previous Chapter - Masterlist - Next Chapter

“How long are we talking about?” Gajeel quipped as Calypso poured the Jasmine tea into two matching mugs.  

“Well, I should probably start with how Team Lune was formed-”

“I just wanna know about Astria’s damn cat.”

“That’s the thing, she’s not just Ria’s cat. Opal just likes Ria the best.” Calypso smiled softly to the gruff dragon slayer as she placed his mug in front of him before taking her seat.

“Thank you.” He mumbled before picking up the pale pink mug and blowing on its hot contents. “How’d you join the guild and meet them then?”

“Oh, the wolves set me free after mastering my magic and I just kinda stumbled into the guild hall.” Gajeel almost choked on his tea at her statement.

“Wolves?”

“Yeah, the only way you can learn Moon magic is from this one eternal wolf pack. Like how you, Ria, and Natsu were trained by dragons. Funny enough, because of my training, I also have a good sense of smell and hearing. My nose isn’t as strong as my ears are though.”

“Just like we do,” Gajeel mumbled, more so to himself than to anyone else. The plumette across from him simply nodded before taking a sip of her tea. “How’d you end up with the wolves?” Calypso’s eyes dropped to her hands as she began to play with her fingers.  

“I don’t know much more than what Leto told me. Apparently, my mother was killed, there was a battle, maybe even a war – all I know is that our home was destroyed. My mother was a student of the wolves when she was a kid, so she left me with them while she fought.”

“Leto, is that your wolf?”

“Hmm, in a sense yes. She’s the pack leader. I have the same loyalty to her and my pack as you dragon slayers have to your respective dragons.” After a momentary pause to drink more tea, the mage continued. “Ria came to the guild with Natsu, and May was found outside the Guild’s doors as a newborn. For the longest time, Ria stuck to Natsu and May was oddly drawn to Mystogan. Both were very shy – all of us were as kids. I became friends with Cana, the two of us would go on the jobs Master approved of. The three of us never really became close until Mystogan left on an S-Class quest. Master demanded that May stay back, that was a dark day. This strong kid that I always looked up to just, broke.” Gajeel kept his eyes on Calypso as her eyebrows drawn together as she focused on the cup in her hands.  

“Master eventually got tired of May’s attitude and moodiness. He decided to take Ria away from Natsu and me away from Cana. Without telling any of us, he sent us out individually to the same job. We all left mere hours apart no less, none of us caught on until we all showed up at the same door for the requested meeting time. It was a simple job – just to find a lost item. Gramps figured we could find it easy. Between mine and Ria’s tracking skills and May’s all-around bossiness – it was done by nightfall. We’ve been together ever since.”

“Thats nice and all, but I only want to know about the cat.” Gajeel grumbled before finishing his tea.  

“A good story is informative and well rounded. It’s a form of art and in this house, you’ll respect it.” She quipped back; her eyes flicked up to meet his in a demanding stare down.  

“What are you going to do if I don’t?” He matched her intense glare as the words left his lips. A sinister smirk spread across Calypso's face, sending a slight shiver down the Iron Dragon Slayer’s spine.  

“Well, for starters, you wouldn’t ever make it out of this house. What happens after that – probably a few broken ribs, lots of chains, and maybe a whip.” She broke eye contact with him as an almost undetectable trace of blush speckled her face. Gajeel’s trained eyes picked up on it quickly, before a faint blush appeared on his own face after her words sunk in. The slight silence became unbearable for Calypso, her hands began to fidget with her mug once more.

“We got Opal as a reward from a quest. It was weird – they gave us this light pink egg with silver and black sparkles and swirls on it. None of us had any clue what to do with it. When we got back to the guild, we found out Natsu and Lisanna had found one in the forest as well. Ria, May and I joined them in the woods to hatch the eggs. Well, whenever May was actually around the five of us kept the two eggs warm – that was really Natsu’s specialty.” As Calypso spoke and reminisced, a smile stayed on her lips. A small laugh escaped her as she thought more on the story before continuing.  

“I was no help at all, and the others realized that pretty quickly. They put me in charge of gathering firewood and food. I mostly just avoided the place; they were holed up in the same woods my wolves are usually in too. So, I just hung around them more than anything. After about two weeks, Happy and Opal’s eggs hatched. They’ve been with us and a part of the guild since.”  

Before either of them could get another word in, the front door opened, and three voices could be heard. Calypso’s face lit up as her friends had arrived home, her tea and Gajeel completely forgotten. Gajeel looked past the plumette and out the kitchen window, the sky was pitch black.  

“I didn’t realize it was this late, I'll head out.” His gruff voice brought Calypso’s attention back to him.  

“Huh?” She asked before whipping around and looking out the window. Pieces of plum-colored locks fell from her bun, framing her face as she turned back to face him. “Sorry about that, I rambled on for too long. I’ll probably have to cook for the others, do you want to stay for dinner?”

“Depends on what you’re cooking,” Gajeel said as he got up from the table, Calypso followed suit and walked behind him towards the front door. Opal was resting in Astria’s arms as the three of them chatted in the living room.

“Hey Gajeel!” Astria called out with a wave.  

“Thanks for holding down the fort, Gajeel.” Natsu offered a small grin, as he turned to Calypso. “So, what’s for dinner?”

“Noodles and chicken thighs.” Calypso offered a shrug in response.  

“I’ll see you four at the guild.” He turned to Calypso and gave he a gentle pat on the head. “See you later brat.” Gajeel headed out the door as Calypso’s face turned bright red.  

“Wait, so you aren’t staying?” The plumette looked offended for a swift second, before her composure regained.

“Nah, I forgot I was going to train tonight since the weathers gonna be alright, since it’s supposed to rain tomorrow.” Gajeel grinned before slipping out the door and past Natsu.     “Did you two have a date? Are we interrupting?” Astria pouted momentarily, before the mocking tone dripped through her second question.   “He likes herrr!” Happy’s snarky comment broke the short pause. “It was nothing like that!” Calypso paused before biting back at her friend, “Did you and Natsu go on a date?” This caused the light blue haired dragon slayer to blush just as heavily as Calypso was. Astria waved her hands in the air as a way to dismiss Calypso’s question.   “Hey! We were training!” The pink haired dragon slayer crossed his arms over his chest before huffing.   “Aye Sir! We were training really hard Calypso!” Happy shouted along. “No yelling in the house! Indoor voices!” Opal folded her arms, before snuggling against Astria’s leg. “Lucy stopped us from training anymore for the night.” “I see, did you guys do that much damage?” “No... Not really...” Astria mumbled, patting Opal on the head softly. Opal offered a small smile in return before simply nodded, “It was some hefty damage, but it was a remote forest.” “Yeah, that sounds like you two. Dinner will be ready in half an hour, go wash up, you all smell disgusting.” Calypso offered a small grin, suppressing the disappointment that she wouldn’t have her company tonight.

◊◊◊◊

The guild hall was filled with noise, booze and the heavenly scent of food – even at 8 in the morning. Astria, and Calypso sat at a table closer to the bar, all still with sleep in their eyes.  

“Do you think I can grab a drink with breakfast?” Calypso asked her teammate.  

“Calypso Lunar. No!” Astria scolded the oldest member as Gray and Loke took up seats at their table.  

“May still hasn’t come back and I’m worried. I need something to take the edge off. What about a splash of something in my coffee? That should be fine right?”

“Okay Cana.” Gray teased the plumette, causing Astria to choke on her water.  

“Hey man, leave my Caly alone.” Loke said as he threw his arm around her shoulder. “Both her and Cana are hot and have huge boobs, if they wanna drink this early in the morning we shouldn’t stop them. Why you ask? Because us hot blooded men benefit from it in the long run. Especially since they both tend to strip when they drink a lot.”

“If you’re so worried about May, why don’t you just go look for her?” Gray asked the two mages. The two women in question just shared a look and nodded once before turning back to him.

“She’s seemed stressed since she’s come back from her mission. We want to give her some breathing room and not harass her about it. She’ll tell us when she’s ready too” Astria sighed before turning away from the guys and letting her eyes wonder around the guild hall.  

“That makes sense at least. How long has she been gone?” The slight worry in the ice mages voice caught Calypso and Loke’s attention. Both had a devious smile cross their lips and a dark look tinted their features.  

“Awwww is ice boy worried about my May?”  

“I think he is Caly. He’s worried about a hot young woman who’s kicked his ass time and time again. What’s the score now Gray? 132 to 0?” Loke added on, poking fun at his tsundere of a friend. Gray scoffed at the two before leaning back and crossing his arms. Before he could give his own witty remark back, the guild hall doors opened. A cross-breeze of wind carried the familiar scent to the Dragon Slayer’s nose.  

“Hey Caly, May’s back.” Astria pointed out as she kept her eyes on their short blonde friend. Caly’s head whipped around and saw her make her way over to them. “She looks unharmed which is good.”

“Her stomach just rumbled; I'll flag Mira down.” Calypso added as she waved over to the white-haired barmaid.  

“Hey guys, what can I get you?” Mira asked in her usual joy-filled tone.  

“Two breakfast specials, a thing of smoked salmon, and three extra strong coffees. Can you put something in one of them for me?” Calypso ordered easily, with her being the oldest of the three she always took care of the others.  

“Of course! I’ll be back with the drinks soon.” She walked back to her spot behind the bar as May finally arrived at the table.

“Hey...” The blonde spoke softly before taking the empty seat next to Calypso and across from Opal. Before the other two could speak, May pulled out two flyers from her pocket and showed them to her teammates. “The two of you should join the Miss Fairy Tail pageant. You guys have a better chance of taking home the gold if there's more than one of youse.”

“Jason’s a judge so I’m guaranteed top three.” Calypso said as she looked over the paper she snatched from May.  

“Didn’t he judge last year too, and Mira still won?” Gray snipped to get back at her from earlier. Loke and Calypso stared daggers at the ice mage.  

“Don’t listen to him. He’s ugly and unlovable, while you’re sexy and powerful. Which to be fair, is the best combo in a woman.” Loke complimented Calypso as her face continued to darken.

“I’ll skin you both alive if either of you continue to speak.”

“And on that note, I’ll be leaving.” Loke took his leave from the table, leaving Calypso’s death glare to Gray.  

“All I have to do is whistle, and I can have a pack of wolves maul you to death.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah I know. You need a new threat Calypso; you’ve used that one too many times already.” As Gray spoke, Mira silently placed the drinks on the table for the three women and scurried away. She valued her life too much to get between the bickering mages.  

“Probably as much as you take your clothes off.” Astria added as she shoved the ice mage away from her in a playful manner.

“As the leader of Team Lune, I need you all to behave while we’re at the guild.” Opal said sarcastically.   “Yes, I’m so sorry, oh great master Opal.” May said as the three mages bowed to the light pink feline.  

“What the actual fuck is your team?” Gray asked with scrunched eyebrows. In a split second, May was behind Gray as her palms were placed on both of his ears, applying a light pressure as she looked to her friends.   “Speak like that again and I’ll blow you up so badly they’ll be piecing you back together for weeks.” Gray hunched back a bit at her words, before sighing.   “Yeah yeah, whatever,” he let out with a huff.

“And we’ll feed your body parts to my wolves.” Calypso added with a smug smile.  

“Do you not feed them? Isn’t that animal cruelty?”

“I do feed them, they just like people meat. And they like it fresh too.”  

“You need psychological help.”

“Everyone in this guild does.” Astria added to as she was looking over Mays shoulder at her pink haired best friend.  

“Open your mouth again and see what happens ice stripper.” May threatened once more.  

“I’ll be taking my leave now too.” Gray sighed as he pushed the chair back and left the table. Mira made her way back to the table with breakfast as May took Gray’s seat.

“Enjoy Ladies!” Mira called as she turned and headed back.  

“So, to confirm – you two are joining the pageant and we’re going on this job.” May stated as she cut into her food.

“Job?” Calypso and Astria asked in unison.

“Oh yeah I forgot to explain that since ice box interrupted us. It’s a simple one for 100,000 jewels. We just need to capture a bandit, so it’ll take us what, an hour at most? Easy money.” May explained as Calypso downed her alcoholic coffee.  

“Yeah, we’ll be fine. When do we leave?”

“Give me two hours to drink a bit more and nap.” Calypso stated as she let out a yawn.

“You can nap on the train.” Opal spoke softly as she snacked on her salmon.  

“This is why you’re in charge!” The three mages said in unison to the cat.  

“Does it have to be a train though? Can’t we fly?” Astria asked with sadness in her voice.  

“Opal can’t carry all three of us Ria.” May stated softly as she picked at her breakfast. The four sat in silence for a few seconds before Calypso spoke up.

“I’m gonna go threaten Gajeel. Do we think I can convince him to let me braid his hair?” Calypso asked as she stood up from the table.

“Maybe if you challenge him to something and use it as your prize.” Astria pitched to the plum haired mage.  

“Say less.” Calypso sauntered over to where Cana, Gajeel and Juvia were seated and sat next to her best friend.  

“So, uhhh. May I'm not going on a train so you’re on your own. I love you!” Astria said as she skipped out off with Opal following behind.  

“Well then, I see how it is.” May spoke to no one before letting out a sigh. She silently continued to eat her meal before heading out on her now solo job. As she continued to pick at her food, she looked over to her friends – Caly was shoving a beer in Gajeel’s hand with a smile on her face. While Ria was happily sitting across from Natsu and Happy with Opal in her lap. The four of them were laughing happily as May sat by herself. They really would be okay without me, May thought to herself with another silent sigh.

[willow-salix]

(Fluffember Prompt : Picnic)

Day 5 of Isolation on Tracy Island 2.0

“Are you going to eat all that yourself?” Gordon asked as he sidled up to me in the kitchen. I was making noodles, nice, simple, stir fried noodles, a little bit of chicken, some veg and a sweet and sour dippy sauce. Lush.

“No,”  I answered. There was clearly far too much for me to eat alone, I had a Space Hubby around here somewhere… or possibly up there somewhere, it was hard to tell.

“Oh, cool, can I ha-”

“No.”

Cue the pout, the epic Gordo pout. I am immune. I never thought I would ever be able to say that, but I’ve grown stronger, more able to resist the bottom lip of doom. Just about. I remember that I tried that once with John, and his exact words had been “Don’t even try, that won’t work on me, I’m immune, I have two younger brothers.” I’d thought his confident speech had been all bravado and false hope, but he might have actually been telling the truth, my pouts rarely worked on him and the ones that the terrible two dished out never did. Was my man secretly a god? I mean, I thought so, I’d seen him with his top off, but maybe, just maybe he had hidden talents. Hmmm…

“You’ve got that look on your face again.”

“What look?” I asked, needing to clarify his meaning so I could decide if I needed to be insulted or not.

“The one you get when you’re staring at John or that guy from that old TV show, the Scottish one with the time travel.”

“Jamie Fraser is the most perfect of men, he is the ultimate in husband goals, he is…” I trailed off and shrugged. “I obviously have a thing for hot redheaded men.” 

“Urghh,” he made a face similar to the one that Scott made when Alan shoved his shoe under his nose last week. Like he wanted to throw up but wasn’t sure which way to aim.

“Why are you in here anyway?” I asked. “Was it just so you could bug me and judge me? I’m busy here, I’m trying to cook.”

He snorted, a scoffing little noise that was quite rude.

“What now?” I sighed.

“Cooking isn’t that hard.”

“Oh really? Then why is it that barely anyone in this house seems to be capable of it? It’s not just a case of grabbing some random ingredients, tossing them in a pot with a prayer for luck and you’re good to go.”

He declined to comment and wandered off without another word. I should have been terrified, but my bean sprouts were trying to burn so I pushed it aside to worry about later. That was my first dumb move.

My second dumb move was to actually leave the comfort of the couch and John’s recently vacated warm spot.

“What the everloving crap was that?” I yelped when a loud crash sounded from the kitchen below us. I poked John gently when he failed to react. “Did you hear that?”

“Since I’m not deaf, it would have been impossible for me not to,” he casually swiped something away on his tablet and started reading again.

“What did they do?” 

“And since I do not, in fact, have the ability to see through walls, I don’t know.”

“Go and find out.”

You’d have thought I was asking him to go shopping with me again.

“I don’t think so, you go.”

“They’re your brothers.”

“You’re the one that cares.”

“They’re your brothers,” I repeated.

He gave me that look of his that promises retribution as I rolled sideways to let him get up, rolling back to steal his spot the second he moved. I dragged his blanket over my knees (I’m feeling chilly today) and stole his tablet to watch videos on as he walked away. 

I got so engrossed, having fallen down a hole of cute hamster videos, that I didn’t realise for a full twenty minutes that John had failed to return. I had sudden and very detailed visions of my poor boy hogtied and left baking in the sun or some such nonsense. I unwrapped myself from my blanket burrito and started my very slow and reluctant walk towards the kitchen. 

“What are you doing?” I yelled the second I rounded the corner, entered the room and saw the scene before me. They all froze guiltily, including John, who was at that very second groping blindly around in the pantry. And when I say blindly, I mean it literally, he was wearing a blindfold that by the looks of it, had been made by them tying my shawl around his head. I don’t know what they were thinking, if anything I’m a little surprised that I’ve never seen smoke coming out of their ears when their two remaining brain cells rub together to give them an idea.

The other idiots were all standing around in various places, standing guard over small piles of produce like dragons over their gold. 

“What the hell is going on in here? And how the hell have you roped him in?”

“Hang on, he’s got twenty more seconds yet,” Alan told me, clicking a button on his comm again. “Go!”

John resumed his digging around, knocking over two jars of mustard and an open packet of pasta which poured out like a carby waterfall. He ignored it.

“Gordon?” I turned to the likely culprit.

“Why are you picking on me?” he asked innocently. "Why do you always assume it's my doing?" 

“Are you honestly trying to tell me that you had nothing to do with this?  Whatever this actually is.”

“We’re having a picnic,” Virgil told me.

“It’s blindfolded kitchen shopping,” Kayo elaborated. I switched my glare to her, she was involved, I could tell, mostly because she still had one of her workout head wraps around her neck and had her own pile of goodies on the counter in front of her.

“It was Scott’s idea,” Alan piped up, throwing his brother under the bus. “Time!”

John dropped the item in his left hand, retaining the one in his right and backed out of the pantry. He pulled off his blindfold and gathered up his treasures, a bag of donuts, a can of whipped cream and in his hand a tin of spaghetti hoops.

“What was Scott’s idea?”

“Well, when you told me that cooking was easy-” 

“I said no such thing. I told you that it wasn’t as simple as just bunging some ingredients in a…” I trailed off, I could already see where this was going and I wasn’t impressed.

“Exactly, throw some ingredients together and make food. Easy.”

“Not easy,” I insisted.

“So I happened to mention it to Scott, who said that he agreed, you can make anything if you’re creative enough-”

“You should not be learning from the Grandma Tracy school of cookery!”

“The rules are simple,” Gordon continued as if I had never spoken. “One minute to select three ingredients, all of which must be used in the finished dish. You’re allowed to add two more ingredients to aid the construction but that’s all. You can do whatever you want with what you have, be as elaborate or as simple as you like. You must taste your own dish, as does everyone else when everything will be shared as a picnic.”

He looked so damned proud of himself, the little snot.

“How did the rest of you numpties get involved in this?” I sighed, knowing I was beaten. No one answered me. Giving up, my blanket nest calling me, I retreated towards the door.

“Do you want to join in?” Virgil asked innocently.

“No, I really don’t.”

“Do you not have as much faith in your cooking skills as we do in ours?” Alan teased. 

I paused in the doorway.

“Dare you, unless you’re scared,” Kayo threw in, just to stir the pot.

“Dammit!” She knew exactly what she was doing, I can NEVER resist a dare.

“Gimme a blindfold.”

Alan tossed me his, which I think was a football sock, but I didn’t want to look at it too closely, I just prayed it was clean. I tied it around my head and Scott checked to make sure I couldn’t see anything. I don’t know what he did, because obviously I couldn’t see anything, but it made a few of them snigger, so I’m obviously suspicious.

Alan started the timer and I groped my way around the table to the fridge.

“Forty-five seconds!”

Crap! This was actually pretty stressful. How did you pick something without seeing it? I decided to stick to one place and hope for the best, open the fridge, feel around, grab some bits, done! Right?

Easier said than done when you have recently gone shopping, the fridge is packed to bursting and you can’t tell what anything is.

“John! Grab this!” I demanded as Alan happily started counting down from twenty as my time ticked away. I grabbed something small and weird, no idea what it was and tossed it over my shoulder in what I guessed was his general direction, hoping he caught it.

I fumbled around and selected something round and cold, that I hoped might be a tomato and held that out too, then in desperation I yanked out a random box just as Alan called time.

I pulled off my blindfold and looked at the things John was holding for me, which turned out to be an apple and a tiny radish. I was holding a carton of eggs. Could have been worse.

“Let the food prep begin,” Gordon declared. “No helping each other.”

Sighing I got to work. Obviously, eggs would be my main ingredient, I cracked four into a bowl and whisked them together. 

“Do we have to use all of the ingredients we picked out?” I asked.

“Yes, every one.”

“No, I meant do I have to use the entire apple or the entire box of eggs,” I clarified.

“Oh, no you don’t, it just has to have them in there.”

“Cool, OK, and we get two extra ingredients of our choice?”

“Yep.”

“Cool.” That was me sorted then. I grabbed a grater and shredded a quarter of the apple and less than an eighth of the tiny radish. I wasn’t a big fan of those spicy little buggers, I don’t like pepper and they definitely have a peppery quality to them, but I was hoping the sweetness of the apple would balance it out.

I opened the fridge again and selected some cheese which I shredded and some ham, chopping it up quite fine. That would do.

I set a pan on the stove top and waited for it to heat up.

“Do I get to use any kind of oil or something to stop my food sticking?” I asked.

The ringleaders, Gordon and Scott, looked at each other, obviously indulging in some kind of non-verbal conversation I wasn't privy to before making their decision.

“Yes you can,” Scott graciously allowed.

“Thank you.” I dumped in a generous knob of butter. Quickly I sloshed the eggs into the pan, and fluffed them up a little with a fork before I turned the heat down a bit and let them sizzle.

I glanced over at Alan who was constructing something with jam and a pile of cookies. Scott was wrestling with a can of tuna and Gordon was opening a carton of custard.

I sprinkled a little of the apple on top of the egg, then a tiny dusting of radish, followed by a large handful of cheese and ham. I eased the sides of my omelette away from the pan, making sure it wasn’t sticking and checking it was cooking.

John, I noticed, was doing something weird with a lettuce leaf that he had procured from somewhere, it was not one of his blindfolded items so he must have gotten it after. He had the leaf stretched over a small bowl and was spooning a tiny amount of the tinned spaghetti into it. Sometimes I wonder why I agreed to marry into this family. I must have been drunk.

I carefully folded my omelette in half and turned the heat off, letting it rest and continue cooking a little.

“I’m done,” I declared, turning around to survey the chaos that had become our kitchen. Oh the humanity. I would NOT be cleaning this up.

Alan, it transpired, had blindly chosen cookies, cheese slices and curry sauce left over from some McDonald’s nuggets I got a few weeks ago, bringing them and other goodies with me in the space elevator. His extras appeared to involve pilfering a few of the McVities digestive biscuits that I’d brought from home the day I arrived that Kayo had chosen in her blind scrabble around the snack cupboard. 

He’d proceeded to make a weird stacked thing he was calling a cookie burger which consisted of a cookie base, a layer of jam on top of that, the digestive and lastly a slice of cheese with a drizzle of curry sauce on top.

Gordon was constructing something very elaborate, involving a bowl and lots of layers. His random items appeared to be the custard, half a vanilla sponge cake and a tub of left over chili. My mind was boggling. 

Scott was hacking at a rather stale looking half loaf of bread that John said he found in the rarely used bread bin, I don't know how he'd managed to open the bread bin without seeing it, but apparently he had. He'd also blindly chosen a can of Tuna and a packet of fruit gummies. 

Virgil, the adorable chonk, had managed to choose a package of cocktail weenies, a tin of peaches and a few sticks of celery. He had stared at his bounty for a good few minutes, before giving up and wandering over to the pantry. He'd stared into that too, like he was looking into a black hole or contemplating the mysteries of the universe. 

Eventually he'd chosen a pie crust from the baking shelf and had begun to assemble his creation. He tipped the peaches into the pie dish, chopped up the celery and cocktail sausages and dropped them in on top. He'd looked around, rather desperately I thought, and reached over to steal John's can of whipped cream, squirting a generous amount on top of his frankenpie and called it good. 

Kayo appeared to have more sense than the others, she had been the one to find my stash of digestive biscuits and, after Alan had liberated a few, proceeded to crush them into crumbs which she lined the inside of a bowl with.

"What are you making?" I asked, because it didn't look too awful. 

She continued to construct her…whatever it was…adding some cake pilfered from Gordon, some grated carrot mixed into cream cheese that was one of her chosen extras and topping it all with strawberries. It kinda…vaguely…could be a cheesecake, if you tipped your head to the side and squinted. 

I turned to John, my man, the one that I was supposed to trust with all my heart and soul…he was…I don't know how to describe it. He'd taken the donut and hollowed out a little bit more from the middle hole, then he'd gathered up the sides of his lettuce leaf/ spaghetti hoops thing and had made it into a little parcel, twisting the end closed. He then popped that inside the hollowed out donut. I have no idea why. He'd finished by decorating the top with whipped cream and sprinkles. What was it with them all thinking that whipped cream was the answer to all their problems? Because three of them had done it so far. 

Gordon had sprinkled in a handful of peas, actual peas, on top of his custard layer, then added cream on top. I honestly don't know. 

Scott had moved on from his bread and taken some of John's lettuce, insisting it was his first, and put a leaf on the stale bread and topped that with Tuna and sweetcorn, which actually had the potential to taste OK. Time would tell. He'd used the fruit gummies to decorate the plate with, I'm not sure if that counted but since he and Gordon seemed to be in charge I assumed it was allowed. 

I slid my omelette onto a plate and vaguely wondered if I should grab a few sick bags before the picnic portion of this weird event started. 

They all looked incredibly proud of themselves, why I had no idea, no one should be proud of the mess they had made, this was not food, this was barely a step up from mud pies in the yard. 

They all took their food offerings and trooped outside, setting up camp on one of the picnic benches near the edge of the beach and settled in. 

One by one they presented their masterpieces. Here are the reactions.

SCOTT��S

“This bread’s hard, very hard,” Alan said.

“It’s very fishy,” Gordon said, although we don’t know if it was a bad thing or not.

“Not bad, I could eat it if I had to,” Virgil allowed.

“I don’t like the sweetcorn on it, it keeps rolling away,” John frowned. He was always a bit funny with tinned sweetcorn anyway, he prefers it on the cob.

“That isn’t just hard bread, that is rock bread,” Kayo complained.

“It’s edible, with fresh ingredients I’d eat it again,” I said, trying to be nice. Honestly it wasn’t that bad, I’d definitely eaten worse over the years.

“It’s almost exactly like the subs we made in college,” Scott said, popping the rest in his mouth and chewing happily. He’s weird, that one, he pretends he’s not, he offers the illusion of being the capable, responsible older brother, but it’s all an act.

ALAN’S

“Erm…” Scott hedged, spending at least a minute turning the thing in his hand looking for a way to attack it.  

“I don’t know what to do with this, Al…” Virgil was even less sure.

“Give it here!” I had less issues and snatched it away from Scott. I ripped off a bit of the curry sauce topped cheese slice, licked the sauce off the cheese, popped the cheese in my mouth then took a bite of the sweet stuff. It was hard to get my teeth through all the layers of biscuit, but I managed it. It was actually OK, separating it was the way to go. “That’s actually quite nice.”

John copied me exactly, because I’m the sensible one although he’d never admit to that. “You’re right, it’s not bad.”

 “Wimps,” Gordon bit straight through it, cheese, curry and all. Then he gagged.

Kayo took the cheese off her’s, ate the sweet stuff first then finished with the cheese, an unconventional method but it wasn’t like any of this was normal. She made a noise that could have been approval but could just as easily been a whimper of surrender.

Virgil took the whole thing apart and ate everything separately, one piece at a time, declaring it to be, “Not bad.”

Scott glanced at me with that look in his eye that said he was about to do something stupid… He reached for the curry sauce pot… 

“Scott, no!” I warned him.

He ignored me to tip the rest of the curry sauce on top of the cheese and threw it in his mouth. Immediately he let out a noise that sounded like a mixture between a gag and a burp. He chewed frantically then swallowed. We waited to see what would happen. “Not deadly,” was his verdict.

VIRGIL’S

“I’m sorry, no, I’m not eating that,” I told them, flat out refusing.  “I’m semi allergic to peaches, they give me migraine headaches and I’m not risking it. I’m out.”

“I’m excused because she can’t eat peaches and I won’t risk cross contamination,” John said, leaping on my statement as a way to get out of it.

“That’s a flimsy excuse!” Scott accused, he knew it, John knew it, we all knew it. John didn’t care.

“You’re just mad that you can’t use it,” John said, squeezing my leg under the table in thanks for my weird kinda-allergy. I patted his hand in solidarity.

“No one has to eat it, I did my best,” Virgil winced, knowing that his was likely to be the most disastrous yet.

“I’m in!” Gordon declared, picking out a cocktail weenie and dunking it in the cream before popping it in his mouth. He chewed frantically as he scooped up a spoonful of pie crust, peaches and a slice of celery and shoveled that in after the weenie. He kept chewing, his face registering at least six different emotions, none of them pleasant before he finally swallowed. “It could have been worse.”

Kayo copied Gordon and picked out a weenie which she ate first, on its own.  That’s where she got smart, washing it down with a mouthful of water before continuing. She spooned up some pie, peach, celery and cream concoction and tasted it. “Not bad like this, the celery is a slightly weird addition, but it can be ignored.”

“I feel sick,” Alan said, having shoved a large mouthful in. 

Scott, the brave boy that he is, shrugged and cut a whole slice, lifting it carefully to his mouth.

“He’s a madman…” Alan whispered in awe.

“A brave man…” Gordon added.

“A stupid man…” I sighed.

Scott bit into it, chewing slowly, rolling it around his mouth. “It’s fine.”

I stared at him in utter shock.

Virgil nibbled on a corner, made a face and pushed it away. “No.”

GORDON’S

“What the heck is this?” he of the iron stomach and nuclear powered taste buds asked.

“It’s that thing they did in that show,” Gordon answered, yet Scott still looked bemused, as did we all, blank faces all round.

“Which show, babe?” I felt the need to ask.

“The one with the friends in the coffee shop.”

“You mean ‘Friends’?”

“If that’s what it’s called,” he shrugged. “It’s a meat trifle.”

Cue horrified gasps all around.

“With a few modifications, obviously, since I had to use chili,” he hurried to explain, although it was anything but reassuring.

John pushed his fork into the center of the dish, looking more and more scared the deeper it sank.

“Don’t eat it and just say you did,” I side whispered to him, worried about his stomach since he usually lived on simple and non perishable food in Five.

“I heard that!” Gordon accused as he spoons up a big bite, determined to prove it was edible, and chowed down. “Huh…” he kept chewing, “not bad…”

“Not bad?” Scott goggled. “Are you serious?”

“The chili is good, the custard is good, the cream is nice, the peas are a bit weird but overall it's OK.”

Virgil was the next brave soul to scoop up a tiny forkful and I did the same getting the smallest amount I could onto my spoon, mostly trying to get just custard and cream, although I think I did spot a lurker pea in there.

Kayo and Alan both scooped up a spoonful and shoved it in their mouths, obviously figuring that getting it over with was the best way to tackle it. Kayo spat hers out instantly, Alan managed to chew and swallow his. Virgil got his down but there was a fair bit of gagging.

“It tastes like a foot,” Alan declared.

John took a small bite and reacted almost like a cat with a hairball, his body shuddering, neck stretching as he silently gagged. I handed him a tissue and he gratefully spat it out, sagging against me as if he was about to die.

I looked at Scott, who nodded in return and dug out his own small amount. “On three?”

Scott nodded and began the count. “One...two...three!” We both stuffed our spoons into our mouths. Scott made a face but managed to get it down, my plan had worked and, while the pea was indeed lurking and rather weird, it wasn't that bad a bite and I swallowed without issue, pleased to have survived.

MINE

“This doesn’t look too bad,” Scott said assessingly.

“How dare!” I gasped. “Cheek of it, it looks tasty.”

Virgil cut himself a small portion, being cautious, since everything else has been questionable at best, downright disgusting at worse. 

Gordon cut himself an actual slice, a godsdamned slice of my omelette and lifted it up like he would a piece of pizza then wondered why we were all staring at him like he’d lost his mind.

“What?” he asked, genuinely confused. John just shook his head in utter despair at his dingus brothers and cut a more sensible sized bite. 

“I’m sure it will be edible,” he says diplomatically, it’s never good to insult the wife’s cooking even when it is so obviously crap.

Alan, disaster child that he is, cut a bit with the side of his spoon like a damned savage and spooned it up.

Kayo helped herself to a small fork full and got ready.

I reached over and broke a piece off of Gordon’s mega slice. 

“OK, good luck my friends,” I offered as I popped the eggy weirdness in my mouth… it was interesting. Nowhere near as bad as I thought it would be, the cheese and ham had mostly drowned out the spicy kick of the radish and the apple had added a weird sweetness to it, but at least it was edible if not to my tastes. I managed to chew it and swallow without choking.

“That’s oddly nice,” John said, chewing slowly, thoughtfully. 

“Well, you are the person that likes baked apple pieces on your pizza,” I shuddered in revulsion at the memory of his birthday meal.

“What a man chooses to put on his pizza is his own business,” he told me.

“Not when it’s that weird.”

“It’s no weirder than pineapple on pizza.”

“He’s right,” Scott interrupted, “this is strangely OK.” He took another bite to make sure.

“I don’t like it, it’s too sweet,” Alan said, making a face. “ I like sweet, but not mixed with savoury like this.”

“I agree,” Virgil said, setting his aside, “it’s too sweet, but you did your best.”

Gordon didn’t say anything, but he was steadily munching through his piece, I watched him, oddly fascinated.

“It’s edible, that’s all I can say about it,” Kayo told me, which for her was a compliment.

“Well? Verdict?” I asked Gordon when he eventually finished.

“I don’t know. I don’t like it or dislike it, it just is.”

“You’re being philosophical over a weird omelette?” Scott laughed.

“Had to happen some time.”

“How? How did it have to happen?” John asked, utterly bemused, looking like his brain was going into a meltdown. “Who says to themselves ‘one day I will have to say something deep and meaningful about a randomly concocted omelette’? How do you even assume that?”

“I never say never,” Gordon shrugged, not caring to explain any further. Personally I don’t think he knew what he meant either but was just brazening it out by that point.

JOHN’S

I picked up his donut creation a little gingerly, because I saw what he’d done to it and I was wary. He obviously saw my hesitation because he lent closer to help.

“Just be careful with it and follow my instructions,” he whispered in my ear under the guise of being romantic.

One eyebrow rose in response...I mean, what do you say to that?

He continued, still whispering. “Bite down gently and try to avoid the sack,” he dropped a kiss on my neck before sitting back in his seat. Smooth, boy, very smooth. My other eyebrow lifted to join its sibling.

“I’m just trying to help,” he assured me.

“You’ve said that before.”

“And you listened then and look how well it turned out,” he said as if that was all the proof I needed.

I heard a snigger from Gordon who was obviously eavesdropping. 

“I was referring to the fact that you often use the excuse of just trying to help,” I sniffed.

“Oh...well…” he tried to look innocent but failed, flashing me one of those devastating grins that just melted me on the spot. “Just taste my damn donut.”

I debated the wiseness of listening to him but decided that, as trust is supposed to be the cornerstone of any good relationship, I should probably pay attention.

“OK, here we go,” I bit down carefully, right at the edge, trying to measure the distance between where my teeth were and the no go zone. I think I brushed the edge of the lettuce leaf but managed to stick to just the donut which, though ever so slightly stale, was still good.

“That’s nice,” I allowed, trying to keep my cover as I passed the donut over to John who took a bite in exactly the same way and therefore stayed safe.

He passed it on to Kayo, who had been watching us intently, studying our moves with her usual mix of suspicion and calculated plotting.

 “You’ve got some cream on your lip,” I was told and sat still while he wiped it away with his thumb.

“What do you think, Kay?” Scott asked. 

Kayo, having executed a perfect bite from the other side of the donut nodded before passing judgement. “Edible.” She was now fully on board with our trickery and would never rat us out as she passed it innocently on to Alan.

Alan, trusting baby that he is, bit blindly into the donut, hitting the lettuce sack which exploded, squirting spaghetti hoop juice into his mouth.

“GAAAH what the…” he yelped, gasping in shock, dropping the demon donut with its hidden core of evil.

Scott picked up the donut, the spaghetti sauce now leaking out freely and soaking into the dough. Uncaring he takes a bite. “Not gonna lie,” he mumbles around his mouthful, “it's not great.” 

Virgil relieved him of the donut and studied it from all sides. The artist in him wants everything to look appetizing and pleasant the whole time, this did not. “This looks hideous.” He nibbled a corner. “Disgusting,” he declared, offering it to Gordon.

Gordon reluctantly accepted it and bit down carefully. He chewed, swallowed and shook his head. “Nope, gross.” 

KAYO'S 

Kayo pushed her bowl over quite proudly. “Dig in.”

It didn’t look that bad, and since I’d seen a lot of what she used I knew the ingredients wouldn’t be that bad when mixed. Hopefully it wouldn't be the obnoxious assault to the tastebuds that some of them had been. 

I slammed my spoon  confidently into it and scooped out a mouthful, popping it in my mouth before I could back out.

“Humm…” I chewed thoughtfully, what did I actually think of it? I couldn’t decide so I just spoke my thoughts as I so often do. “It's quite nice. I mean, biscuit, cake and cream cheese is nice, I don't really like the carrot mixed in but it doesn't ruin it to the point of being disgusting. I like the strawberries, so I guess it’s a win.” 

John followed my lead, digging his spoon in. ���That's pretty good.” 

“I really like that,” Scott dipped his spoon in for some more. “The carrot is different enough to not bore me but the rest is normal enough to make it nice.”

“It's too sweet for me,” Virgil said, putting his spoon down after his first taste. 

“I'm not liking the carrot but the rest is good, I could eat it,” Alan said, his usual aversion to vegetables or anything healthy rearing its ugly head. 

“It's all good. I don't mind the carrot either,” Gordon said, agreeing with Scott. 

Kayo, obviously emboldened after using us as test subjects, risked tasting it herself. “Not bad.” 

Well, we've tasted everything,” I said, glugging down some of John’s water in an attempt to cleanse my tongue a little. “Was there an actual point to all of this?” 

Scott and Gordon both shrugged, not that I was that surprised, there is never much point to anything that any of these idiots do when bored.

“Not really,” Scott admitted. 

“I wanted to prove you wrong,” Gordon told me, “and I think we did.” 

“How? How did you? Some of this was disgusting, it clearly didn't work. How can you honestly think that you proved my wrong in any way, shape or form?” Seriously, the mind boggles with these guys. 

“It showed that it can be done,” Gordon insisted.  

“It shows nothing!”  

“Just let it go, love,” John soothed, obviously trying to save what little sanity I have left.

“You joined in!”

“So did you,” he countered.

“I give up!” I yelled, throwing my hands up in frustration. “It’s like talking to monkeys, you’re all mental.” I climbed awkwardly off the bench and headed back to the house.

“So, did I win?” I heard Kayo ask as I rounded the corner, leaving them alone. 

Stupid competitive Tracys! I should never have left the sofa, hell, I should never have left England. I knew this would be a mistake. I’d be insane by the end of it.

I stopped off in the kitchen to make myself a coffee, hoping it would take some of the taste away. I grabbed a few abandoned cookies and a non Johned donut and retreated to the sanctuary that was the couch and my blankets, which would be lonely without me.

I settled down, retrieved my book (I’m re-reading Outlander, which might be contributing to my Jamie Fraser love right now, all the best husbands have J names, fact) and got comfy, might as well make the most of what little peace I’d get before the chaos found me.

“Move over.”

I stayed where I was, maybe if I ignored him he would go away.

John, being John and refusing to be either insulted or put off by my rejection, simply lifted my legs and settled in their spot, dropping them back down over his lap.

I looked over my book at him as he reached for my coffee cup and gulped down half its contents. He offered me the mug and I put my book down to take it.

“Thanks,” I said because what else could I do? I sipped the coffee then put the mug down on the little table next to the couch and picked up my book again.

John took that as a sign that he was welcome to stay and started making himself at home, stealing some of the blanket and shifting to stretch out beside me. I moved over to make room, letting him settle his head on my chest as he found his tablet among the cushions.

OK, maybe there were a few good reasons to be here instead of alone at home, but I’ll never admit it outloud.

[reversecreek]

ziggy strutting up to me like this gif as i hold up a crucifix n say begone begone vile beast BEGONE from my vicinity i will NOT buy u a happy meal wretched little boy...... some live action rp to start this off..... and SCENE. takes my bow. his pinterest is here n his playlist is here.

* dylan minnette, cis male + he/him  | you know ziggy benson, right? they’re twenty-four, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, all of his life? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to hand crushed by a mallet by 100 gecs like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole glitching televisions impaled by remotes, nonchalantly texting the babes as a stove fire ravages your kitchen & cartoons turned up so loud it fries your eardrums thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is november 24th, so they’re a sagittarius, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( nai, 24, gmt she/her  )

HISTORY;

from the second ziggy ws born he didnt stop screaming. within the first hours of his life he gave his father an ear splitting headache tht prompted him to say “that uncooked chicken’s fucking demonic” n joke abt popping “it” in the oven to roast. when this understandably received disgusted glances frm the nursing staff he ws all like “jeez alright alright i’m kiddin i’m kiddin can’t a guy have a joke around here?” n i feel like that sets up their dynamic so nice n sweetly <3 (sarcasm) (lips pursed)

frm day one he ws just honestly a rly hyperactive child. when he laughed he’d shriek it out at the absolute top of his lungs bc he’d just get this huge giddy surge of energy all the way to the very tips of his toes n it’d hit him like a shock from a fork in a plug socket. their parenting style ws rly just lazy tbh.... they didn’t have much time for disciplining him. ziggy’s mum wld halfheartedly be like “ziggy quiet now....” n then go bk to nuking whatever vegetables she’d defrosted until they tasted like dinosaur bones..... this wld not make any difference in ziggy’s behaviour

his father rly just took the stance that it ws ziggy’s mum’s job to discipline him or raise him in general which is. 🔪 please enter the 20th century sir.... get ur noggin sorted..... needless to say he wsn’t much involved in ziggy’s life n honestly generally jst didn’t like him. ziggy was a responsibility he didn’t want (accidental prregnancy) n in his literal words once said (blatantly while ziggy ws watching cartoons on the sofa) tht ziggy just “harshes my fucking vibe a lil bit”. 

he wound up leaving when ziggy was six ish.... ziggy watched thru a crack in the blinds as his mum tried to grab at his jacket to make him stay as he lugged out his suitcase..... she even tried to physically cling onto him so he cldn’t get in his ride bt the door wound up slamming n she sat on her knees watching the lights pull out the drive n even long after they were gone. ziggy didn’t rly kno what to do abt this (emotions hd never been smthn he particularly understood, his own or how to handle other people’s) so after watching her fr 5 minutes he went out n gently shook her shoulder n was like. mom come inside u look weird out here. FKGHSFHGSFHKGFHKSGSFGHK. this was him trying to show love <3

ziggy’s mum is like.... rly relationship dependent. she gets all her self worth n validation frm whtever man she’s dating.... so she went on this like.... wild rampage of jst. dating a very large string of men. they ranged frm dreadfully boring to downright awful n were always below her standards. ziggy quite literally hated. all of them. every last one. even one that tried to b nice to him by offering to help him do his math homework when he ws 13 (bc ziggy was struggling a lot w this) n in response ziggy loudly barked until the man gt scared n stumbled backwards into a dining chair on his way out of the room. KGHFHKSJHFJGSHKFG

while him n his mum hv a kind of strained situation (there’s a great deal of resentment from her end n kind of. blaming him fr “driving his father away” n it’s never spoken abt bt it’s very much Present in their relationship n honestly ziggy kind of resents her too fr bringing some of the men into their lives tht she did) there is. love there...... sometimes she’ll like. reach out to cup the back of his head n he’ll duck his head away n be like wtf are u doing checking me for lice? n she’ll jst smile like :)...... knowing that’s how he loves. KHSFGKJGHKSFGFHKGSHF. ugh we love men who know how to process their emotions yesssss king give us nothing <3

(abuse n violence tw) idk i won’t go into it too much bt even tho ziggy’s constantly like 🙄 when his mum shows him affection he wld quite literally. kill fr her n almost did one time.......... narrowly avoided getting charged w assault when one of her bfs was drunk n evil n he went into protective mode.... idk he. has gone thru a lot n seen a lot n so has his mum. they look after each other the best they kno how despite the negatives in their relationship.... it’s complex <3

literally got in trouble so. often. at school. he ws always hyperactive (undiagnosed adhd n also probably not helped by the fact he ws jst allowed to eat sm junk food w 459729457952 sugar percentage all hours of the day) bt when his dad left n like. dealing w acting out so severely at home where his mum’s bfs were concerned it rly escalated..... i jst think he ws like. literally a terror. probably got suspended so many times. maybe even was permanently expelled before he cld get his diploma honestly. set off a firework in school hallway. smthn absolutely reckless n stupid.

hs hd a bunch of jobs mostly in the service industry...... usually ends up getting fired.... worked at mcdonald’s fr a while n then one day he went in rly high n ate three cheeseburgers in front of a weeping child who hd ordered one.... promptly gt fired bt he ws like yo fuck this place i’m quitting n threw off his apron n was like who’s with me??? who’s joining the union??????? to the rest of the staff n they were all mostly like >_> <_< before security approached to forcibly remove him n he grabbed a cookie n crammed it into his mouth in rebellion mid frantic n frankly possessed escape.....

in terms of wht’s going on to this day w his living situation i honestly think he still lives w his mum. i can just see this. KHGFSKGHSFGKSFGH. in like. a ramshackle bungalow in delphinus heights.... having said tht she probably isn’t. there tht often nw she’s dating her latest man (jonas, somehow always sweaty no matter the weather, wears too many gold rings n smells like shoe cleaner) who owns a car dealership n thinks he’s a kingpin for it. still home sometimes tho.

PERSONALITY:

ziggy spends his days working shifts at an ice cream parlour (one he got fired from once bc he broke in high n ate sm ice cream he was lay on the floor in the bk pants unbuttoned stomach bulging sm calling himself garfield saying he had too much lasagna. they hired him bk tho bc he has a harem of middle aged women who lust after him n it brings customers....) or like. cruising parties...... setting off fireworks.... skateboarding...... breaking into abandoned buildings.... filming stupid jackass type tricks....... playing guitar hero...... getting drunk at the arcade..... sometimes busking fr cash in a tossed dwn hat (very badly) (thinks he’s sick at it however)........ or alternatively...... fucking chicks aha...... fuck.......... not exclusive to chicks tho just had to sound despicable bt :smirk: he’s bi Baby.... 

i won’t lie he’s kind of an asshole................ never rly was taught properly how to empathise with ppl so like he struggles w that....... sometimes he’ll say smthn tht’s genuinely just quite mean n doesn’t need to be said but he doesn’t rly realise it’s like bad. n he’s like. what’s the deal haha why are u mad...... 

fuckboy. genuinely jst. rly summarises it well. insatiable. sleeps around wildly. will say he’ll call u back n then will not call u back. lies like oh babe i’m moving to france tomorrow fuckkkkkkkkk sucks so bad that we can only have one night but let’s make it special yeah? tits? n then they’ll see him casually skating past them on the street a week later n be like well clearly he’s not in france. ziggy doesn’t care.

calls himself a “genius inventor” bc he once gutted a vintage analog television n made it into a fish tank. it literally leaked water a bit. still convinced he is a literal visionary never seen before never done again. he’s like i’m on the brink of greatness. i’m the next einstein.

has a bit of a god complex where he thinks he’s the sexiest person in any given room n it’s kind of funny bc like dylan minnette’s sexy to me bt tht isn’t a widespread opinion n ur being a bit bold ziggy...... regardless has confidence thru the roof tht isn’t rly deterred by anything or anyone.....

dyes his hair 49729572459752 colours every colour under the sun. sometimes all at once jst different patches. wears lots of tie dye tshirts n basketball shorts even tho he doesn’t play basketball. rly colourful sneakers. just lots of loud colours tbh. often wears a paper clip in his ear as an earring. pierced it himself. someone probably recorded him doing it fr his insta story. probably was drunk.

drives a vespa around tht is baby blue with pastel yellow polka dots. it has lots of tin cans attached to the back by string like on those cars when u just got married. he did not just get married. u can hear him arriving frm over a street away.

almost never pays fr anything bt is always like “yo it’s my treat” n then either dine n dashes or u have to pay

his idea of romance is nuking a hot pocket as breakfast in bed n then complaining he’s hungry n eating half

WANTED CONNECTIONS:

fuckboy antics: he’s insatiable. rabid. notorious. mayb they fkd n he didn’t call........ jst completely ghosted........ mayb they were genuinely into him n he honestly built up kind of false pretences abt them having a connection n then jst dipped..... cld  b good fr angst n drama <3 someone please egg his house he deserves it <3

high skl heathens: locals tht were equally chaotic in hs..... just picture him having this group of misfits tht were like so loud n always getting up to no good doing god knows what god knows where.... probably gt arrested together breaking into an old abandoned hospital one time........... rly just doing the absolute most at all times............. probably so loud........... drinking n smoking far too much.....

an attempted teenage relationship: i’m like. tentative to even put this one bc i just feel like ziggy wld be a shit bf. KJHGFSHGFHGSFHGFKGHFKSG. but. maybe it ended in drama.....i’d say this wld probably be a girl bc in hs he probably ws less open w his sexuality... maybe ziggy cheated on her or she cheated on him................ angst........ strife.... we love it we love it........ i crash my car into the bridge... i don’t care... i love it... sudden icona pop moment me stood on stage singing karaoke.... it’s just gone 7am as i write this so i apologise if this is losing any. coherency. smiles so sexy....

last adolescent plot i swear: i picture when ziggy was expelled he somehow amassed a large group to protest w signs outside the school fr him to be accepted back. it didn’t work. he threw a party when he received news he hadn’t got back in anyway. maybe ur muse was involved or helped organise this or was violently opposed.

enemies: ppl who just. don’t like ziggy bc like honestly that’s so fair n valid. KJHGFKGHKSFGHSGKHSFHG..... mayb he like. exploded their mailbox one time when they were younger. mayb he skated over their toes. mayb he fucked their bitch aha fuck................. (joking btw) (don’t condone misogyny) (hashtag feminism). cld be fun to play around w

fwb: probably hs a few of these......... mayb they’re cool w things being no strings attached n lax n at ease w ziggy being the mess tht he is in general..... mayb they want more bt ziggy cannot provide...... mayb they literally don’t get on at all n this is their only mutual ground n they keep coming bk to each other.... :smirk:..... whatever u Farncy....

maybe ziggy’s mum dated ur muse’s dad at one point???? we can discuss this if u think it fits..... cld be fun to play around w............

coworkers: past or present r fun..... mayb they were like WTFFF is this guy fking ONNN at a past job (he’s had a few in the food service industry so pretty open in tht area)... mayb they work w him at the ice cream parlour now..... cn discuss the dynamic probably wld be dependent on the muse involved fr like. how he’d act n stuff.... :yum:

[therealcalicali]

Apple Thief

Pairing: Geralt of Rivia x Reader

Warnings: Angst, Fluff and even more Angst

Type: One Shot

Wordcount: 7,003

“Y/N! You need not go.” Your ailing father called out from where he was sat by the fireplace. Though you lived in a cramped quarter, the main room was always the warmest. And due to his injury, keeping his temperature up was best. “From the looks of things, a storm is brewing. Did you hear me, Buttons?”

With a smirk you threw his cowhide overcoat atop your woolen pullover. It wasn’t as nice as the fur-lined cloaks most girls wore. But it kept you warm despite being unfashionable. After grabbing your gloves, you bounded into the main room. Peering out the window, you realized the skies were indeed overcast.

However, you couldn’t stay home.

Rain or otherwise, you had to earn some coin. Especially since the sum your Uncle left was depleted. He had given all he could before leaving for a nearby town to sell his wares. And since you had no inclination of when he would return, you had to be resourceful.

“Just look at you, Buttons….” Your father exclaimed as he did his best not to chuckle. “You look like someone cast a shrinking spell upon you.”

“The coat may be ill-fitting, but it’s warm. So, if you keep taunting me, I might never give it back.”

“Please, stay.” He said as his smile began to fade. He then pointed his walking stick in your direction. “As my only child, I have no desire to see you fall ill.”

“Papa, I cannot sit around hoping Uncle is on his way back. He is far off, and your medicines are finished. And what’s more, we are in need of foodstuffs.”

“We are not.” Your father countered. “What of the red yams and potatoes? We can get by cooking them with cabbage and carrots.”

“First off, we have two red yams and no potatoes. And as for cabbage and carrots, I used the last of them in last night’s stew. So, like it or not, I must venture out.”

“It’s times like these I wish we still had our chickens. The eggs would bring in good coin.”

“Don’t fret, Papa. I’ve been saving what Uncle gives me for my upkeep. I intend to buy at least four of them. Soon, we could even own a nice milking cow again.”

Your father’s gaze went to fireplace.

He was a proud man, and it truly hurt your soul to see him dejected. But it made sense for a former Kings’ Guard to feel inadequate. At one time, your father provided a very posh lifestyle for the family. But once he was maimed in battle, he was forcibly discharged with a paltry severance. Once that was spent, your father had no choice but to start using what had been saved.

As expected, hardship followed. So much in fact, your mother decided to abscond with the little coin that was left. That was nearly three years prior. But for you, the betrayal felt like it had occurred only yesterday.

“Papa, please do not guilt me going outdoors.” You said, walking to him and taking a knee. “If I promise to come home should the weather should take a turn, would that ease your mind?”

Reluctantly, your father nodded.

“And take my dagger.” He said, pointing to the table nearest the front door. The weapon was a magnificent piece of military craftsmanship. Something only most decorated of fighters were ever bestowed. Still, your father wanted you to have it. “From now on, it is yours.”

“But Papa, that is a relic of your service. You earned it with much blood and sweat. I cannot possibly think of wielding it. Besides, it’s far too valuable to be taken out of the house.”

“Y/N, the only thing of value that I have, is you.”

You couldn’t help smiling. After sheathing the dagger, you informed your father that you would soon return. As you exited the cottage and approached the stables, you were suddenly filled with great hope.

You made your way to the town square on the back of your Uncle’s trusty steed, Moss.

Being a thoughtful man, Gadin left town in a hired wagon so you would have transport. So, as you tied the horse to a wooden post, you gave him a soothing pat.

“Have no fear, boy. We shall not stay for long.” You said before reaching into your leather satchel. After grabbing a handful of apple slices and oats, you fed Moss. “Well, things are really bustling today. No doubt I will make some coin.”

And you had good reason for being confident. Aside from the handmade gloves you made, you intended to sell some jewelry. The silver necklace and earrings had been intended for your mother on her Naming Day. But since she abandoned the family prior to him surprising her, your father passed them to you.

When Moss suddenly whinnied and stomped his hooves, you grabbed hold of his bit.

With that, you turned on your heels and began walking toward the marketplace. 

Trade was truly flourishing because you had never seen so many foreigners in Stillwell before. But it was a good sign. It meant that soon, there would be expansions and all the other benefits that came with being a thriving village.

“Move your corpse, jackass!” A gruff voice bellowed.

When you turned to see who had spoken so rudely, a grey-haired elderly man pushed past. He was in such a huff, he nearly knocked you over. It was enough to make one angry had it not been so amusing. 

Because though he appeared exceptionally frail; the man hauled his cartful of wares with the strength of twenty men.

“Magic.” You mused. “Everyone that wields it or buys it, is a nuisance.”

Suddenly, something else caught your attention. From the corner of your eye, you spotted a foreboding man cloaked in black. Naturally, this piqued your curiosity. From what you could assess; the armor signified his status as a formidable warrior. Likely a mercenary or something along those lines.

You knew this because the symbol that hung from the stranger’s neck didn’t appear to belong to any King.

When you noticed the tufts of white hair peaking from his hood, you promptly realized he was no mere mortal. Mostly because such a hue was not be found amongst your kind. As he walked, the stranger behaved as if he didn’t wish to be amongst people. But despite this, he had a traveling companion. A pleasant looking fellow who seemed to be relaying information in a lively fashion.

“Those two cannot be from any of the nearby townships.” You mused. “Perhaps they hail from some of the wealthier domains.”

Realizing that you were getting distracted, you returned your thoughts to selling your wares. 

As luck would have it, your devotion to Ryrdohr, the God of Wonders, paid off.

Not only did you manage to unload your mother’s earring and necklace, but the silver merchant gave a fair price. Mainly, at the behest of his partner. As you were haggling, the man had taken one look before exclaiming that you reminded him of his late niece. For that reason, he forced his miserly friend to cough up more coin.

What you received, eighty Denars, was equal to a month and a half worth of wages. Thus, you were feeling quite blessed as you walked down the pathway toward The Bargainers Lot. It was where people that didn’t own traditional stands or storefronts conducted business.

As you passed a barrel-lined walkway, you heard a faint whistle. There, stood only yards away, a shabbily dressed boy, no older than twelve beckoned.

“Lass, might you have any food to spare?” He asked, glancing over his shoulder before looking at you again.

“Do not take me for a heartless person, little boy. But why ask such a thing whilst standing in an alleyway?”

“Apologies…….” He said as he rubbed his hands together. “But I must take care. I do not want the Sentries to see me begging. They are quite rough with street children these days.

Your father was right. It did appear that a storm would soon come. For that reason, you wished to give the child something. Enough to buy some food and even bestowing a pair of the gloves you intended to sell. 

However, you had no desire to enter the alleyway to do so. After all, nothing good ever came of venturing into secluded places.

“If you want food..…..” You said, reaching to your coat pocket and producing eight Fenning. It was coin to buy two meat pies and some peach ale. But the boy needed it far more than you. “I am willing to be of help. But you must come here and------”

The first shove cut you off midsentence. But the second swiftly knocked you to the ground.

Before you grasped what was occurring, you were set upon by three other children. As you struggled to unsheathe your dagger, one kicked you in the shoulder as another seized your satchel. Infuriated, you quickly realized that you had to fight back or risk losing everything.

“I am being set upon by bandits!” You screamed. “Help!”

You had expected your words to bring someone to your aid. But after a few seconds, you realized it was for naught. In Stillwell, as in most townships, people preferred to keep to their own affairs. That meant unless a Sentry happened upon the attack, you were on your own.

When you rolled onto your back, you managed to break the buttons on your coat. With shaking hand, you finally unsheathed your father’s dagger. Taking note of this, the three children stared, wide-eyed.

“Now, you little monsters! Return my belongings before I cut your throats.”

“You will do nothing of the sort!”  A raspy voice countered.

Peering into the alleyway, you spotted the owner. A man with a crescent moon upon his left cheek was now stood next to the boy that had beckoned you. Only a foot away, a fiery-haired woman aimed an arrow in your direction.

“Let’s kill her and be done with it.” She suggested.

Mercifully, he didn’t seem eager to comply. After pondering a moment, he motioned for one of the children to take your dagger. Alarmed at losing your father’s prized weapon, you pointed it menacingly.

“If you prefer, we can kill you and take it, all the same.” The man threatened.

From his tone, it was apparent that he was not simply mincing words. 

He spoke very much like an experienced butcher. Still, you could not compel yourself to hand the dagger over. As the three children stared wearily, awaiting their next directives, everything suddenly went black. 

“Aye, she finally returns to the living.” An amused voice announced.

As your vision adjusted to the light of day again, you winced. For whatever reason, a dull pain within your head became more prominent. Indeed, even looking at your surroundings proved difficult. Still, you managed to lift yourself off the bench and sit upright.

Since the pressure seemed to be concentrated at the base of your neck, you attempted to feel it. However, a hand swiftly caught you by the wrist.

“Do not go touching the wound, jackass.” The old man commanded. “You’ll only smear the Black Mares ointment that’s been applied.”

“Wha…………………where did those children go?”

“What children?”

It was then you realized whom you were speaking to. The old man tending you was the very same one that had nearly bowled you over. For whatever reason, he was the only person that came to your rescue.

“Sir, did you happen to see which direction those bandits went in?”

“I do not know what you speak of. But here is your eight Fenning.” He replied, shoving the coin in your palm. “It was scattered about your person when I found you.”

“But what of my satchel? Those people took everything!” You exclaimed as all that had occurred came to memory. “I must find a Sentry.”

The old man cackled as if you had said the silliest thing in the world. After stating that the Sentries did their job well, he added that they only did so for the affluent. However, someone of your caliber would have to pass coin to their hands.

“And from the looks of it Lass, you hardly have enough to sway them.”

After securing the kerchief to your head, he practically jumped his feet. You could only stare in astonishment as he then took hold of his loaded cart.

“But sir…………I have not even properly thanked you.” You said, scooting forward on the bench. “At least take this, for your trouble.”

The man eyed the four Fenning in your hand before sneering. With a gruff tone, he advised that you keep it. Adding that he did not assist you because he lacked the means to care for himself. Apologetic for offending him, you stated that you had not intended imply such a thing. Nevertheless, he had already begun walking away.

He moved so swiftly, you could only shout words of gratitude as he disappeared into the crowd. 

As you entered the small shop marked ‘The Long Caravan’, you pulled your coat closer to your body.

The light rain had already begun. Thus, you knew you only had a short time before the full gale set in. Though you had been robbed, you simply couldn’t go home empty handed. Especially without your father’s necessary medicines. So, if nothing else, you meant to buy the herbs.

“I accept no beggars in my establishment.” The snobby shopkeeper announced upon seeing you. “The soup house is down the road by the Great Sawmill.”

Incensed at the insinuation, you glared at her.

She then snapped her fingers at her young assistants, ordering them to set down two massive bags. One marked ‘corn’ and the other, ‘oats’. And that’s when you saw him by the Alchemy portion of the shop. The massive stranger clad in black. Even now, he appeared disinterested in his surroundings.

This was quite peculiar since he was apparently making purchases. But as for his companion, he was gingerly conversing with the shopkeeper’s husband.

“I said, no beggars!” She said once more.

“Then it’s a good thing I’m not one!” You fumed, tired of her relentless assumptions. “I’ll have you know I’m here to purchase medicines. Or do you no longer take coin?”

Distracted by your words, the more jovial of the strangers stopped chatting.

He then leaned against a banister and folded his arms over his chest. Pardoning herself from the cloaked stranger, the woman sized you up before asking what you required.

“Four packets of Pearl Moss, two packets of Lakebarberry Leaves and four packets of Sour Quassia”

Despite wearing a spiteful expression, the shopkeeper went behind the counter. She then began measuring things out as you glanced around the shop. It was then you noticed the sizeable fruit display. From dragon pears to apples, there was good variety available.

“I’m so famished. I hope there is something left over.” You thought, pulling the eight Fenning from your pocket.

When you realized you were being watch, your head jerked in the direction of the white-haired man. At first, he appeared to be looking directly at you. But as you studied his expression, it became clear that he was looking past you.

Taking notice of his fascination, the shopkeeper’s husband went to him. He then began explaining that they had purchased the mounted head on the wall from a passing tradesman. As always, the stranger remained quiet. But suddenly, he actually glanced at you for the first time.

“Demon eyes.” You thought. “He is no mortal. Of that, there is no doubt.”

“That will be twenty Fenning.” The shopkeeper announced. “And do not dawdle, girl. I have other customers.”

You sighed. Apparently, the cost of herbs had gone up significantly since the last time. Placing all you had upon the counter, you eyed the woman.

“I……………I only have eight. However, look at these gloves I’m wearing. I made them myself. Pure cowhide with rabbit fur lining. Surely, they are worth the remainder.”

“Does this look like the trade-in post?” She snapped. “Either you have the coin, or you don’t.”

With tense jaw, you asked that she remove two satchels of Pearl Moss since it was the most expensive. But unexpectedly, the nicer of the two strangers walked over. After asking the woman to wait a moment, he looked at your hands.

“I know a lady that would really fancy those.” He said with a smile that reached his eyes. “I’m Jaskier, by the way. Nice to meet your acquaintance.”

Though your day had been nothing but terrible, you couldn’t help giving a smile in return.

“Y/N.” You replied, shaking his hand.

You then removed the smartly made gloves and set them down. When you asked if he was truly serious, Jaskier nodded firmly. After placing twenty Fenning on the counter, he took possession of his wares.

“I now have my gloves, and you, have your coin,”

Utterly beside yourself, you couldn’t help thanking him several times. Truly, he was an answer to your silent prayers. Such a show of kindness not only lifted your spirits but gave you a more optimistic outlook. While the moody shopkeeper finished tying the bundle of herbs with twine, Jaskier informed you he was a Bard.

A renowned and much sought after one, at that.

“You?” You exclaimed in astonishment.

“What’s the matter? Do I not look the part?”

“No, it’s not that. It’s just that you appear……..………you know….”

“Appear what?”

“To be quite honest. From your style of dress, I swore you were a Lord or something of the sort.”

From nearby, his companion made an odd grunt.

“Pay him no mind.” Jaskier said, looking in his direction. “He isn’t known for his manners.”

“If you take your time, I will leave you.” The cloaked man replied, ignoring the insult.

Though his tone of voice was cold, there was something within it that held some humanity. Perhaps, the Bard was his charge.

“Is that man your Hired Sword?” You asked.

The question sent Jaskier into a fit of laughter. However, his companion was not amused. In fact, he appeared meaner than he had been already. Leaving your side, Jaskier went to the shopkeeper’s husband and pointed to the waterskins.

It was then the woman finally handed you the satchel of herbs. 

As you walked to the middle of the shop, you realized it was now raining quite hard. Not wanting to get your purchase wet, you opened your coat and pushed the satchels into the inner breast pocket. After closing the flap, you were buttoning your coat when the apples caught your eye.

Though you had eight Fenning left, thanks to Jaskier, you had not desire to spend it. So, as the storeowners busied themselves with their wealthier patrons, you began slipping a few into your coat. But as you finished taking the sixth and last one, the woman swiftly rushed over.

“Thief!” She shrieked, grabbing hold of your coat immediately. “I knew you were trouble from the moment you set foot in here!”

Though you were caught, you wished to turn the items over yourself. However, the shopkeeper refused to let go.

“I’m no thief!” You protested. “At least…………………….not really.”

“Not a thief, she says! Well, we shall see about that.” The woman mocked, holding your coat more firmly.

She then began shaking the fabric until the apples started coming lose. One by one, they soon dropped to the ground at your feet.

“Hmm. The girl is either an apple tree, or a thief.” Geralt remarked.

He then picked up the bags of corn and oats and hoisted them over his shoulder. As he walked to the exit of the shop, Jaskier stared at you and the shopkeeper. From his expression, you could see he felt your humiliation.

Thus, you averted your gaze.

“Geralt!” Jaskier yelled as he departed into the busy street. Though it was now raining, he made no attempt to seek cover. “Geralt! We cannot leave that poor girl to that woman. She will likely report her to the Sentries.”

“Why do you care?”

“Well, the laws against theft in Stillwell are harsher than in most townships. And she appears quite sweet……….……………. but desperate.”

Geralt scoffed as he kept to his path.

Nevertheless, Jaskier refused to give in. As he tried to keep pace, he confessed that he felt compelled to help. And if he had to convince the storekeeper and her husband alone, he would return to the shop.

“Then, go.” Geralt replied. “But remember, I will not wait long.” 

“I swear, Madame, it was not my intention to take from you.” You said apologetically. “I had a great deal of coin a short time ago. However, I was robbed of it, and the rest of possessions. It’s the only reason I didn’t wish to spend the little I have left. That’s the truth of the matter.”

“Do not give me your sad tales.” The shopkeeper snapped. “When the Sentinels come, you may tell it to them, if you like.”

Just as you were about to drop to your knees and beg her mercy, Jaskier returned. With damp hair, he walked over and looked the woman straight in the eye.

“Allow me to pay for the value of the apples, plus a little extra for compensation.” He said. “Surely, that ought to be enough to allow the girl to leave peaceably.”

It sounded like a reasonable solution. But to his astonishment, the woman refused. After stating she was tired of your “type”, she added that you had to be an example.

“I cannot have every thieving liar thinking my shop is a free market. She must be turned over to the Sentinels.”

“Madame, have mercy.” You implored. “I cannot be away from my father for days on end. He is a cripple. If he is left alone, he could fall ill or even worse.”

Jaskier’s expression went soft. The revelation only made him more determined to be of help. But no matter how much he argued your case, his words fell on deaf ears.

“Natasja.” The shopkeepers husband said as he approached. “The girl seems genuine. Besides, she didn’t take anything of true worth. Only food. It’s obvious that she meant no real harm.”

Despite his attempt to defuse the situation, his wife proved hardheaded. With a hand still grasping your coat, she informed both he and Jaskier that she had already sent one of the shop assistants to fetch a Sentinel.

And thus, the four of you waited.

Whilst the time passed, the shopkeeper’s husband stated he would not give a statement. In fact, he wanted no parts of anything should the lawmen ask anything of him. Still, his wife didn’t seem moved.

“Bastien, if that is what you wish, so be it. But I will make sure this girl is made an example of. I will not become a target for every poverty-stricken bastard.”

“How dare you! I’m no bastard!” You seethed. “My father is an honorable man. He was a King’s Guard in Narin.”

“Ah, King Jethofius.” Jaskier mused with an impressed expression. “It’s said that he only commissions the most-skilled.”

“Most-skilled.” The shopkeeper repeated with a chuckle. “You keep listening to her tales.”

Angered by her flippant attitude, you countered that you spoke the truth. Not just about your father, but about being robbed earlier in the day. But none of that mattered. Because it wasn’t long before two well-armored Sentinels entered the shop.

“That is her.” The young worker said, pointing you out.

With annoyed expressions, the two men walked over. After politely acknowledging everyone, they looked you over.

“Your boy tells us that you caught the thief in the act.” The taller of the Sentinels said. “What did she take.”

“Apples.” Jaskier interacted. “Simple, ordinary apples. Hardly anything to take you from your patrol.”

The shopkeeper cut him a mean glare, however, she added that he was correct. You had stolen apples.

“But I would hardly say it is trivial. A thief, is a thief at the end of the day.”

“Do you wish to have her locked away until you can petition the Justice?”

When the shopkeeper nodded, her husband grumbled. He truly disliked how his wife had forgotten their struggles. There had been times even they came close to stealing. And though they never did so, he understood your plight.

“Let me state this now. I will not participate.” He announced.

Somewhat taken aback, the Sentinels looked between the husband and wife. One then grabbed you by the arm.

“Alright, it’s time to go.”

“Please! There must be something I can do to make things right.” You protested as you looked at the shopkeeper. “I am needed at home!”

“You should have thought about that before you went about nicking things.” The man countered. “Now either you move your legs, or I’ll resort to brute force.”

“I wouldn’t do that.” Geralt said in a calm tone.

When you all looked towards the entrance, he was stood there with an annoyed expression. In an unhurried pace, he made his way over. He then scowled at poor Jaskier, who could do nothing but shrug in response.

“Stranger, this is none of your affair.” One of the Sentinels cautioned. “It’s best you keep moving before you are charged with interfering with the law.”

“The girl is my servant.” Geralt said, ignoring everything he had said. He then tossed the shopkeeper’s husband a small black pouch. “That’s nine Denars. Twenty times the value of what she took.”

Angered by the meddling, the shopkeeper declared she wanted justice, not coin. She then informed the Sentinels that Geralt did not speak truthfully. You had come to the shop alone, thus, you were not a servant of either man. But as she continued raving, her husband suddenly placed a hand upon her shoulder.

“Do not take offense, love…” He began. ‘But for once, shut your mouth.”

Ever the jovial one, Jaskier burst into gleeful laughter.

This caused one of the Sentinels to chuckle as well. However, things quickly subsided when Geralt shot both men a severe look. Approaching the lawmen, the shopkeeper’s husband first apologized for wasting their time. He then assured them that the coin was more than enough to resolve the matter.

“It appears there is nothing for you to do here. But gratitudes, all the same.”  He added.

Obviously, the shopkeeper was livid. But as she followed the Sentinels, they ignored her pleas to return.

“So, we may take our leave?” Geralt asked of the husband.

“Aye.” He replied. “The little Lass is free to go.”

“I cannot stay.” You protested as you entered the Blue Raven Tavern with Jaskier and Geralt. “I must begin my journey home!”

As expected, it the place was quite busy due to the storm. As you were guided to a table, the patrons appeared to be mostly traveling merchants, migrants and Mercenaries. All of them in search of a temporary place of shelter until the weather improved.

“Sit.” Geralt gruffly commanded.

Naturally, his tone didn’t sit well with you.

“My Lord, I am no dog!” You protested despite doing as asked. “I’m quite grateful for your show of kindness. And as promised, I intend to repay the coin you parted with. But I must ask that you speak to me like I am a person.”

After staring for a moment, Geralt simply looked away. Frustrated by his odd behavior, you gave Jaskier your attention. Unfortunately, he was too busy staring at the ample breasts of the Tavern maid.

“Look here! Do you intend to ogle me all night or is there something you are in need of?”

“Oh, I am in need of many things.” Jaskier replied cheekily. “But let us start off with a pitcher of Black Mead. And perhaps a platter of rose-honey rolls with fresh churned butter on the side.”

The woman gave a flirtatious smirk before turning to leave. As she walked, Jaskier stared at her equally ample backside.

“You have coin for that?” Geralt asked.

“No, but you do.”

When he took note of your smile, Jaskier stated he had spent most of his coin repairing his lute. He then lifted it for you to see. From the way he spoke of it, you could tell the instrument held great sentimental value.

“It’s simply exquisite.” You remarked. “It makes my Uncle’s own look plain by comparison.”

“Do you play?” Jaskier asked with great excitement.

Reluctantly, you confessed that you did. Adding that music was one of the main sources of entertainment in your household. When you stated that you could play most string instruments, Geralt closed his eyes. Seeing the two of you bonding over your music, made him fear either of you playing a song.

Because after the exploits they had encountered in the last township, he had no desire to hear noise.

“Would you play something?” Jaskier asked, passing you his lute.

You were flattered that he would entrust you with his prized possession. However, you hesitated. Though you knew many songs, you played according to mood. And with how you were feeling, a sorrowful melody was likely to come through.

“Go on, Lass!” A man drunken man shouted from a nearby table. “Help me drown out my talkative companions.”

Carefully, you positioned the lute, finding that your fingers eased about the instrument comfortably. With a deep breath, your eyes shut so you could drown the noise around you. From the pluck of the first note, a sense of peace washed over you. 

You were no longer in a dimly lit, packed Tavern. But rather, sat by the scenic lake nearest your cottage. 

As you played, the commotion in the establishment began to die down. From weary traveler, to the most imposing of Hired Sword, everyone was soon listening to your haunting melody. As for Jaskier, he rested his cheek in hand as he watched.

It wasn’t often he came across someone like you. Not only were you amiable, but you now proved to be quite talented. After setting down the rolls and pitcher of Black Mead, the Tavern Maid observed a while before getting to her work.

She too seemed to prefer music over the usual cursing and threats to take fights outdoors.

When you struck the last chord, you were astounded by the eruption of cheers and mugs hitting the tabletops. Your father and Uncle always complimented your playing. However, you had assumed they only flattered you because they were family.

With a bashful expression, you passed the lute back to Jaskier.

“Y/N, you are quite fascinating.” He remarked. “Not only can you sew beautifully, but you have the makings of a Bard.”

“Though I hardly deserve such praise, I will accept it graciously.”

“Good. Now, how about you start eating while I pour us some mead.”

Naturally, you were still quite famished; however, you didn’t want to make a pig of yourself. So instead of taking several rolls, you took one and began spreading the butter. As you were doing so, you realized Geralt staring at you once again.

“My Lord, is there something on my face?”

Though he appeared irritated by your very voice, he replied that you were bleeding. How he could know such a thing was a mystery. Because, at present time, you were sat across from both he and Jaskier.

When you touched the back of your head, and looked at your palm, Geralt was proven correct. Apparently, the wound had begun to seep.

“Oh!” Jaskier exclaimed. “That’s why that fabric is about your head. All this while, I thought it was some new trend.”

“If only.” You replied with a weak smile. “An old man applied ointment to my head before tying this. I only wish I got his name before he disappeared.”

As you removed the kerchief and folded it, Geralt reached inside his cloak. He then produced a small vial and held it towards you.

“Here. Drink this.”

“My Lord, I will do no such thing.” You replied. “First, tell me what it is. Even better, tell me how you knew I was bleeding.”

Despite your words, he said nothing more. Instead, Geralt studied you as if you were an inanimate object.

“My Lord…………”

“For the last time, I am no Lord.”

“Oh, so you CAN put more than five words together.” You jested. “At any rate, since you refuse to tell me how to best address you, I shall keep using the title. My father says it’s best to err on a high position.

Refusing to be drawn into banter, Geralt set the vial on the table.

He then took hold of his mug and got to his feet. When Jaskier asked where he was off to, he nodded towards the door. Despite the storm, it appeared that he was in no mood for company or conversation. As Geralt departed the table, you watched with great curiosity.

“How did he know I was bleeding?” You asked, your gaze following his dominating figure out the Tavern. “Is he part Demon?”

“Demon? Why do you assume such a thing?”

“For one thing, his hair. That alone tells me that he is no mere mortal. But also, his eyes. They seem…………well…………sinister.”

Though he tried, Jaskier burst into laughter. Indeed, he had called Geralt many things whenever they fought. But sinister, was not one of them. Between chuckles, he assured you that his brooding companion was no Demon. In fact, he was one of the few people that stood between such creatures and the innocents.

But from your expression, it appeared you weren’t convinced.

“Why do I get the feeling that you distrust, Geralt?”

“It’s not that, my Lord.” You replied. “However, where I’m from, magic and magical being are not trusted. People are put to death for simply buying magical items.”

“But Stillwell seems quite open-minded.”

“I did not grow up here. I spent most of my life in Narin.”

“Oh, that’s right. Your father was King’s Guard there.” Jaskier remarked, recalling your past conversation. “Tell me, how did you come to reside here?”

Though you stated it was a long tale, he shrugged. Lifting his mug, he reminded you that there was nothing but time. After all, the storm didn’t appear to be letting up anytime soon. Since they had been so kind, you figured it wasn’t an unreasonable request. Thus, you quickly decided to oblige. 

So, as Geralt sat in the enclosed stables, drinking his mead beside Roach and Moss, you shared your life with Jaskier.

“Apple thief.” Geralt exclaimed.

He the grabbed hold of Moss’s bit before rolling his eyes.

Though you had insisted on riding, it was apparent that you were too fatigued. Not only had you fallen asleep twice, but you kept saying things that made little sense. Typically, such a thing wouldn’t be cause for alarm. Especially since your Uncle’s steed followed your companions at a good pace. However, you had also nearly fallen both times.

And since a broken neck would do no one any good, Geralt was becoming irate.

“Y/N, you slept again.” Jaskier remarked as he brought his hired mare alongside. “Either you ride with one of us, or risk having an even worse headwound.”

You yawned as you looked about the forest. Though you had given proper directions, your mind was hazy.

“Are you certain we’re headed the right way?” You asked as you stifled another yawn.

“We exited the Western gate and veered left when we passed the guard tower.” Jaskier replied. “So, by now, we are quite deep in the Highland Grove.”

Though he repeated your directions perfectly, you still had quite the time processing your surroundings. Everything felt somewhat………off.

“Perhaps it’s best if you rode with me the rest of the way.” Jaskier suggested. “Otherwise, you are likely to get hurt.”

You wavered, however, you soon brought Moss to a halt. As Geralt held the bit, you dismounted and stretched a bit more. Suddenly, his neck snapped to the left. With a tense expression, the brooding warrior peered into the darkness.

Evidently, he was observing something neither you nor Jaskier could see.

“Don’t move.” Geralt commanded.

In one swift motion, he dismounted before pressing a finger to his lips. Unsheathing his sword, he shoved you behind his person. It was then the cold of the night finally hit you. As you held your coat about you more firmly, you tensed your jaw to keep your teeth from chattering.

“There are five of you.” Geralt declared into the darkness. “If you wish to live, keep to your business.”

“And whom are you, stranger?” A voice replied in amusement. “From what I see, you appear a foreigner. Therefore, unless you are a patsy of the Magistrate or Town Council, your word holds no weight here.”

You expected Geralt to say something more. But instead, he simply grumbled before looking over his shoulder. After advising you to stay where you were, he began moving in the direction of the voice.

Without warning, the distinct sound of an arrow broke the silence.

It was enough to make you and Jaskier draw anxious breath. But had you blinked; you would have missed what came next. Though it had been headed right for Geralt, he deflected the arrow as if swatting a fly. In fact, not even his expression changed as he pressed forward.

Stopping at the tree line, he suddenly extended his free hand.

At first you were confused. What Geralt hoped to accomplish, you did not know. However, it became apparent that he was casting. Rapidly, an odd blue light formed in his palm. When satisfied with the scope of it, he released the energy into the darkness.

And it must have hit its intended target. Because what came next was a cacophony of agonizing screams and curses. When all the noise died down, three furious men came bounding out from the tree line.

“Damn abomination! You killed my mates with your sorcery!” A man wielding two blades shouted.

In the entirety of your life, you had never witnessed such a battle up close. Sure, your father and Uncle had protected the family on many occasions. However, nothing to the degree of what was before you.

“Keep behind me, Y/N.” Jaskier whispered as he kept hold of the steeds. “If anyone wanders close, I will protect you.”

You wanted to ask what weapon he intended to use. Because from observation, the only thing he could wield was his lute. Nevertheless, since it was the thought the mattered, you remained silent. As things got bloodier, you avoided the carnage by looking to the ground.

Mercifully, the violent commotion began to fade. Before long, it was replaced by the song of crickets once more. When you looked at Geralt, he hardly looked like he had just fought off three men. Not only was he breathing normally, he was calmly wiping the blood from his sword.

“You used magic on them.” You said, peeking out from behind Jaskier.

Ignoring you completely, Geralt commanded you to continue the journey on the Bard’s steed. Incensed at being snubbed, you stared at him.

“Though you are no mortal, my Lord, I must say this. You simply do not understand how things work in Stillwell.” You said as he tied a rope to Moss’s reigns. “You cannot simply execute people here. The law states that one must give opportunity for surrender.”

“Hmmm.”

“Is that it?” You asked. “You just killed five people and all you can do is grunt.”

“Apple thief, get going.”

“Apple thief? I have a name, you know!”

As if you had said nothing at all, Geralt pointed to Jaskier who was stood by his hired steed. Sensing the awkward tension between you, the poor Bard gave a meek wave.

“Alright!” You fumed. “If you will not address anything I have said, at least answer this. What are you, exactly?”

After giving an exasperated sigh, Geralt grabbed hold of you. With little effort, he then set you upon the saddle by force. Hiding a smirk, Jaskier mounted the steed, taking his place behind you. As he took hold of the reigns, you perceived the Bard was on the verge of laughter.

“The absolute nerve of him!” You seethed. “That man is not only a Demon, but a rude one, at that.”

“You know something? Despite being his closest friend, I cannot argue with the last bit.”

Jaskier then snapped the reigns as your little convoy continued down the road.

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