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#I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT CHILD
saviourkingslut · 2 years
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finally finished s2 of the alienist... uhmm why was this season abt everyone BUT the alienist. hello. daniel brühl turn on your location i just want to talk
#WHERE was laszlo#literally they only gave him a bunch of scenes with lara pulver so they could?? send him off to europe at the end???? huh#he barely did anything at all the entire series. even for the case he was barely there to offer assistance#i get wanting to do a little more for sara's character but now it was HER show more than his#and no offence. but im watching the alienist. for the alienist.#my sister and i were SO disappointed by the last ep too#john marrying a woman he doesn't truly love just so he can? have a child?#laszlo fucking off to europe and leaving his whole ass institute behind?? WITH THE PATIENTS HE CARES ABT???#sara ending up in that classic 'strong independent women don't need a man they can be successful without them' hashtags feminism#as if wanting to be in a relationship with someone. makes you anti feminist or something.#society has progressed past the need for the independent strong women trope#where are the women in loving relationships with men who agree with them and their views and who wholly support them#women don't need to be alone/unhappy in their love life to be feminist characters. please.#i can't believe i dropped s2 ages ago and then finished it bc of daniel brühl and he's actually barely in it at all. incredible#if he's not in a possible follow up season i am not watching it. again it's called the alienist and that's what i am here for#curry rambles#ALSO WHY DID THEY KILL MARCUS?? that was totally unnecessary esp in a last ep like that.#cheap effort to get the audience emotionally involved#AND SPLITTING UP THE MAIN THREE CHARACTERS?? if you want your series to succeed. NEVER split up the#found fam at the end#is2g nothing kills my goodwill for a piece of media faster#the alienist
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diejager · 1 year
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any thoughts for yandere!pervy!könig who has to resist from fucking you so hard? knowing you're too weak and fragile to ruin, but palming himself through his pants whilst bathing you, or creeping on you as you sleep!!! 🥹
ignore if you want to!! can be somnophillia/noncon if you want 🎀🩷
How exactly am I supposed to ignore this??? This is such a good idea!
Yan!Pervy roommate König x fem!reader
Cw: Perverted König, dub-con, somnophilia, panty sniffing, panty stealer, scent/musk kink, handjob, tell me if I missed any.
He just can’t believe how lucky he got when you answered the ad for a roommate. He knew you were searching for a place to move in, wanting to move out of your parents’ place as a first step into independence and he’d purposely put the ad out a few weeks before you moved. The rate was low, lower than most apartment would cost - even for a old, beaten flat, but his was new and well-maintained - it was his way of silently coaxing you to room with him. König had declined every other, keeping it open until you finally contacted him.
The days between your first interaction and your move in were a blur in his mind, dazed with ecstasy and joy to be have you at an arm’s length. You were so small compared to him - as most people were - and so weak and fragile, limbs a third to his and as strong as a child in his eyes. You were so innocent and untouched, your tight little cunt still a virgin in this age. You were temptation on two legs.
He can’t remember the first time he peeked through the crack of the bathroom door, the glass shower doing nothing to hide your wet, naked skin as he palmed himself, groaning lowly as he fished out his hardened cock. He pumped himself, hand twisting as he reached the swollen head of his cock, thumb pressing against the leaky slit and using his precum as lube, jerking his hardened length more easily. He came at the thought of running his hands on your skin, kissing your collar and biting that beautiful neck, digging his hands into your thighs as he fucked into your small cunt. He hurriedly cleaned up and tucked himself back into his pants, burying the flush on his skin as he waited for you to finish your shower.
After the first month, jerking off while watching you shower wasn’t enough, he humped your cushion when you were out, dragging his drizzly cock over your bed. Face buried in your sheets, he drinks in your scent, that sweet rose and vanilla smell of your shampoo as he rutted into his tight palm, imagining that he was between your warm walls. König could come at the idea of covering you in his musk, your hair smelling like him, you skin tasting like him, you cunt leaking of him. He came so hard that it spurted all over your bed, his cum was on your blanket, on your bedsheet, on your cushion and on your headboard. Fuck, he loved the idea of covering you and your things in his cum.
When coming in his hand to the sight of you in the shower and your empty bed wasn’t enough, he slipped into your room at night, the only sound in your shared appartient being you soft snoring and his laboured breaths. He stroked himself, teasing his throbbing cock with slow pumps and watching your innocent oblivion to his dirty thoughts while you slept. He was crouched over you, his figure looming over your figure when he came, thighs spread wide over your hips and hand clawing your bedsheet besides your head, you warm breath hitting his wrist.
You’d wake up without knowing why you were coated in crusty substance or why you were missing another panty, your pretty, blue lacy panty gone from your drawer. König would be in his room, holding your pretty lace lingerie over his nose, sniffing it while he pumped himself. God, König couldn’t stop himself from covering your underwear in his load before handing it back to you, saying that he found it somewhere in the house. Then you’d wear it, your sweet cunny over the spot he came on, making him purr in satisfaction, a branding on you in the deepest way possible since he couldn’t bully his cock into you just yet.
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oraclemoontarot · 18 days
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why people are jealous of you 𓂃⊹ pac tarot reading
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from left to right, top to bottom -> pile 1, pile 2, pile 3, pile 4
•┈┈┈••✦ ♡ ✦••┈┈┈•
pile 1 𓂃⊹ ִֶָ
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cards pulled: six of pentacles, five of swords, seven of wands, fool, nine of pentacles. oracles: snow leopard: self-reliance, polar bear: mystic, swan: grace, unicorn: infinite possibilities, days of winter, winter besom, devotional, Brigid's doll
For my pile one's, people are jealous of your giving nature. There is this kindness and grace to you, this lack of hatred and this purity. You may have gone through conflicts and hardship, but it has made you stronger and didn't keep you away from your goals. You are hardworking yet fun and full of adventure. People are jealous of your ability to have fun, to explore - this curiosity and acceptance of your inner child is what people wish they had the strength to accept within themselves.
You are also someone who appreciates life. You are grateful for all that you have, never wanting more. People may be jealous of you, but that word doesn't exist in your vocabulary and that may make them furious lmao. Pile one's you are such a sweet, warm, and kind person. It is hard to find someone like you in this world.
With the animal oracle cards, you are independent and probably enjoy your own company. Where everyone else may get bored staying home all day, especially on their own, you thrive in such an environment. Maybe your hobbies involve things such as art, reading, writing, playing video games, or something musical, where staying home or within your own company is where you're able to have the most fun.
Challenges are what make you incredibly strong, you are a dreamer and someone who has a strong potential to become a tarot reader too! There is something incredibly mystical and graceful to you. You see things most people may not even understand. You get people on deeper levels, but also yourself. There is so much wisdom and goodness within you, so much elegance, beauty and love. People who are jealous of you don't understand that. I feel like, only people who have so much negativity and hate would be jealous of you. They wouldn't appreciate your inner world and your good nature.
Extra messages + why people would be jealous:
'I must seek to befriend the hidden parts of self, the darkness that embraces the whole of who I am'
you completely understand yourself, you accept yourself for who you are, both the good and the bad. You are content with who you are and that is so, so beautiful.
'Sweep away ill intent while creating boundaries weaved with protection. A witch respects passages of safety'
because you have accepted yourself, you also respect who you are. Therefore, you don't let people with bad intentions close, your boundaries are clear.
'There's something so intimate when letters reflect the tongue, in times of introspection when I am at my most vulnerable and revealing all the lives in me'
doubles down on you understanding yourself, especially your inner world, and enjoying your own company.
'Thread by thread I weave my desires, working as one with the source of creative power'
you are so strong Pile one. Whatever you put your mind to, you can achieve. You have the knight of pentacles energy, the ability to take your time, moving with a steady pace towards your dreams.
pile 2 𓂃⊹ ִֶָ
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cards pulled: hermit, three of wands, ten of cups, emperor, king of cups | Lynx: keeper of secrets, lion: higher calling, squirrel: always prepared, sea turtle: protection, snowdrops, winter woodlands, milk moon witch, dark days of winter
People are jealous of your ability to look within and come out stronger. You enjoy your own company and solitude, able to find the deeper meaning or purpose within your life. At the point you are reading this pac, you may be levelling up within your career or life, or you are constantly achieving. People are jealous of your successful nature, feeling closer towards envy. You may even have a good relationship with your family, especially your father, and feel content surrounded by those you care about - you may thrive in such an environment.
You are someone who creates your own future through your efforts, beliefs, and preparedness. You are someone who is able to work just as hard as you have fun. There is this playful and cheerful nature to you that is so contagious, just like the courage in your heart. The Lynx card is just like the hermit, 'in silence and solitude, you will find your strength'. There is so much confidence in your self, in your ability to make the right choices. You are also great at keeping secrets and seeing things in other people - either deception or their true selves. You work hard, yet you also have the ability to go with flow. There are so many layers to you and yet you are an incredibly balanced individual. You create your own path, your own rhythm and flow in life. And this is what people are jealous as sometimes they feel stuck on the path they were given, or clueless on the direction they wish to pursue yet, with you, you draw your own line on the map and follow it with so much perseverance and strength. You're unwavering, like a turtle which swims along the current of the ocean.
Extra messages + why people would be jealous:
'when all seems to stem from the unknown, hold firm in knowing all will be as it should'
you have this understanding and trust in your abilities, unwavering and strong in the path that you follow. People are jealous of you being someone unable to give up no matter what challenge presents itself.
'Take time to honour what you feel. Self-compassion is the healing balm you desire'
you accept your feelings, you love and trust yourself when most don't, and you truly understand who you are as a person. There is a sense of respect towards yourself that others wish they felt towards themselves.
'Watch as the tides turn in your favour, weaving the waters within and conjuring unspoken desire'
whatever wish, goal, or dream you have, you're able to achieve and fulfil. It's as though both luck and your skills are what lead you through the path of greatness, and this feels more like that of envy than jealousy of your life and achievements.
'I must seek to befriend the hidden parts of self, the darkness that embraces the whole of who I am'
Again, just like the hermit, you are able to accept both the good and bad traits within you, admitting that they are what make you, you. These shadow selves show that you are human, that you have flaws just like everyone else and you aren't ashamed of them. This confidence and love for yourself is what people feel jealous of.
pile 3 𓂃⊹ ִֶָ
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cards pulled: ace of swords, page of swords, three of cups, two of pentacles, ace of pentacles, nine of pentacles, five of swords, lovers, seven of swords | fox: clever, tiger: fire, penguin: authentic, dog: friend, black bear, horned owl, casserole, cinnamon rolls
There seems to be a lot of jealous energy around you pile 3. This could be from people who you are around often, or those who you had cut off. You may have had conflict with a friend group of 3 or more people, and these friends may be the jealous ones, which their jealousy could have been the reason for conflict, tension, or the falling apart of this friendship.
The reason as to why people may be jealous of you is because of your communication skills. You are someone who is able to express their thoughts and feelings clearly, articulately, and may even be witty. There is likely this intelligence to you, especially a social and verbal intelligence. You may be incredibly good at forming connections and networking. The way you communicate brings forth opportunities that may lead to wealth. You are goal-oriented and always look towards the future and towards a new adventure. There is this humbleness to you, this gratitude, and people are jealous of what you have achieved and what you have. They're jealous because they see you as having more than them, about having the life they wish they had. This could also be skills of yours that they're jealous of.
You are also good at balancing your relationships with your life and work, you have so much love, warmth, and kindness to you. If you are in a relationship, they are jealous of that as well, as they see it as an ideal connection. Even with conflict, you are warm, understanding, and still value the people who you are tense with. It frustrates them. I keep getting this negative energy. This frustrated, irritated, and jealous person/people that don't seem to have an ounce of good intentions towards you. If they are ex friends and you were the one to end the relationship, I am so, so proud of you. You did well, even if it were hard, you deserve only good things and people to surround you, especially as you seem like such a lovely character with so much love around you.
With the oracle cards, they're jealous of your mind, of your intelligence. You always find a solution to problems that arise, you have a strong instinct and have a lovely heart. You have this fire within you, this drive and determination. You have so much passion and are unmoving from your path - bold and brave. You are also unafraid to be your authentic self, and people are jealous because they put on an act, lacking in confidence and bravery. You value relationships, family and all close connections, loving your uniqueness and constantly surprise others in a pleasant way. You may be loved by most people, simply because you are you. You are yourself and no one can change that. You are a true friend and a true companion. You are loyal, a protector, a happy and positive person, as well as having a lot of energy and enthusiasm to you. People really do want to be like you, they want to see the world and themselves the way you do. To have such drive, determination, and enthusiasm.
Extra messages + why people would be jealous:
'your existence is the resistance. All you must do is accept the power waiting you arrival' This relates back to you being your authentic self. You don't let anyone tell you who you are or who you should be. You being yourself is resisting against cultural norms and societal expectations. Could even be the expectations of your friends, family, and environment. You know your own strength and power.
'become the shadow that watches, keeping quiet while moving intentionally'
this could be focused more so on the people who are jealous - to be aware of those around you. To watch, to observe, to make note of possible red flags. Be careful of who you trust and who you let into your life. It is important that you protect yourself as these people are like shadows that you may not notice. They are quiet but their intentions are there.
'trust in the flavours that led you here, an unexpected alignment. Let it move you in ways that capture your soul'
People are jealous of your experiences, the way they shaped you into the person that you are now. You have so many things to talk about, so much to share, so much you have lived through and will continue to experience. There is so much depth, strength, and resilience to you.
'warm my heart; all-deserving comfort readies my heart'
You really are a warm, welcoming, loving, and kind soul. You wear your heart on your sleeve, a comforting presence open to love and connections. It is important that you know and appreciate that side to you as well as it is so, so beautiful. So precious and sweet.
pile 4 𓂃⊹ ִֶָ
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cards pulled: two of cups, emperor, two of swords, knight of cups, magician, ace of swords, five of pentacles, fool, eight of cups | black jaguar: old soul, butterfly: rebirth, swan: grace, lion: higher calling, arts and crafts, Angelica, river rocks, bathing ritual
People are jealous of your ability to create meaningful and lasting connections/relationships. You have this ability to be like the emperor and the knight of cups, there are two very different sides to you that creates a sense of balance. The emperor is one of authority, confidence, strength, and a protector. They are like that of a pillar within relationships and are great caretakers too, you don't bend or break for any or anything, and you even communicate in such a way - as well as communicating with clarity and intelligence, having such an intricate way of words. The other side to you is one of romance, innocence, gentleness, and this sense of childlike wonder. There is this purity to you and this excitement, adventure, and energy. It's as though you are like an old and new soul in one. You know your purpose, you have a strong value of people and relationships, but you also have a creative, romantic, dreamer side too, with so much emotion and sensitivity.
Even when you feel alone/lonely, or if you're struggling financially, you have this optimism to you, and this drive to get out of such feelings and situations. You don't let the negativity of your life or surroundings bring you down, you don't dwell or stay at a standstill, you find ways to leave it all behind in search for something great.
You really are that of an old soul with the black jaguar oracle. You move through life with this confidence and grace, you know what you want and you don't lose sight of it, turning your dreams into reality. You are constantly changing, growing, transforming, and reinventing yourself. You are open to change and the good that would come out of it. You love and appreciate the journey and, once you arrive at the end of it, you have so much gratitude and are humble of your achievements. There is also this beauty, wisdom, and elegance to you, like the swan, you grab others attention and respect/appreciation of you. You have this dignity, like royalty, you carry yourself well. You have courage to face hardships, you don't live in the past, able to let go of things that no longer serve you because you know your worth. You really do value relationships, finding contentment and strength in them.
Extra messages + why people would be jealous:
'nothing exists without the essence of spirit. May it be whispers or chants, your energy is what brings life to all that you create'
you may be an artist or creative, someone who has such a strong energy and puts a lot of effort, character, and life into whatever you do. There is passion, authenticity, and something deep and real to you.
'the bells have rung far and near. Underneath feathered wings, my dear, you have nothing to fear'
You protect your health, heart, and mind well, as well as those around you. You are a protector to people you care about and yourself. You are a pillar, a source of strength, and you don't let others worry or fear things.
'go with the current, dear one; find peace in letting go. Let life wash over your soul and welcome your becoming'
You are likely someone who goes with the flow, you don't let things hurt you or people to not treat you right. You leave situations and relationships that do not serve you, you let go when it is necessary so to protect your peace and yourself. This is what lets you to grow into a strong character.
'with you, water spirit, I wash away what no longer serves me and drink in spells that call for healing'
Similar to the one above, you are good at healing yourself, about not letting past hurts affect the you today. You cleanse your heart and mind of pain and troubles, and you let yourself feel only what you know you deserve - happiness, positivity, love and light. And that is truly beautiful and what others who may be struggling or have negativity in their hearts would be jealous of.
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happysparklingshadows · 8 months
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𝙱𝙶𝟹 𝙻𝚊𝚍𝚒𝚎𝚜 ✿ 𝙿𝚛𝚊𝚒𝚜𝚎 ✿
Note: I am still writing A Certain Hunger but I have been very scared about publish it because it has taken so long to write because of some personal issues with my family and work! I hope you like my headcannons about Bg3 woman. They have infested my brain 😵‍💫
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Lae’zel 
-Not one to really give or receive praise in a context outside of battle.
-She would compliment you in her husky tone occasionally if you did impressive work against an enemy. But praise for being around? No. 
-Lae’zel grew up in a culture that refuses kindness or praise. “It only makes us slower. We think of our greatness more than being great; I will not fall for that. I know my greatness in the screams of my enemies.” 
-However, over time, and after being introduced to Faeyan culture, she slowly learned that praise was judged as encouragement or care for others. Especially after staying with you to choose her future, she learns the importance of praise but uses it very sparingly. 
-“You did well.” She would say after you kill some goblins. Or the time she mentioned that she liked the “strength” you showed when you got beaten to your last hit point. 
-She was never good at taking praise. She didn’t like being called a good girl; it implied you were superior to her somehow, and she didn’t like being called anything other than Lae’zel. 
-“Champion, You were so strong tonight. It made me shiver.” You told her once as she was sharpening her sword. She stops abruptly and stares ahead of her momentarily, and she starts sharpening again. She got flustered very easily with those words.
-She does say in sex, though, “You take me so well, my scent still on you from last time. Screaming you are mine.” To you in sex. She likes to praise your good behavior as her mate, but she doesn’t think it is praise. She is stating a fact. You were good at taking her????
-She isn’t the best at giving or taking praise, but nothing is better for her when it is earned. She loves to hear your approval of her, and she tries her best to do the same for you because beneath the coldness was someone who couldn’t imagine a world without you. Didn’t want to. 
-I believe after the end of Act 3 in the game, she would call you “good girl” if you told her you liked it and explained how it made you feel. She won’t develop it independently, even with how well she knows you, but she wants to make you feel good. She isn’t above proving herself to you or changing small things, like what to call you in bed.
Karlach
-Fucking loves it and loves giving it both. 
-She calls you baby (girl or boy) whenever she is pleased with your behavior, and she kisses you whenever the urge comes over her, which is a lot. 
-Karlach has no shame or embarrassment to praise her beautiful Girlfriend. 
-Karlach had helped you once with her strength; you had asked them to hold you up as you wanted to grab a honeycomb. Her solid and big hands grabbed your waist gently and lifted you up like you were nothing; it made you feel flustered and turned on.
-“Gods, I don’t think I have ever met anyone as strong as you, Karlach! That was amazing!” You said without a filter when your feet met the ground again. You looked up to the now-flustered barbarian. “Seriously,” you say as you touch her bicep innocently to investigate your girlfriend's muscle, “What were you fed as a child? Rocks and nails?” 
-Which ended up with you pushed against that tree and fucked beyond belief. 
-The night came over you that night under the tree. You lay naked in the grass with Karlach. You hear the turning of mechanical parts in her chest as you look up at her, resting your chin on her breast, “You are so beautiful. It is just a privilege to love you, Karlach. Truly, I can’t believe we haven’t known each other longer for how much you have taken from my heart.”
-Karlach is a soft girl sometimes, and saying something like that to her would make her stare at you with tears in her eyes. She softly cries, not believing what you are saying. She chuckles at her own tears at such a nice thing. She sniffles and says, “Thank you, baby, I can’t- ah, I can’t find the words to tell you how much that makes me feel. I love you. You are the best love I have ever known.” 
-You kiss her skin softly as you cuddle closer to the tearful tiefling, “I love you too. So greatly… it’s good to know it is mutual.”
-“It is, baby, it really is. Tonight is such a beautiful night.”
Shadowheart 
-Shadowheart doesn’t admit it, but she has such a big praise kink. 
-It started when you two met when you noticed how she would look away when you thanked her for saving you, or she would blush when you told her how great she was beside you in a fight. 
-But she was slow with her love and couldn’t be won over with some simple praise. It takes time to win her trust, let alone her heart.
-She finds her need for your praise as something she needs to hide. It was a vulnerability to exploit if she let it show. It is how she is used to being. She tries to hide her happiness with praise, but it is hard. 
-But, when you two start seeing each other seriously, she takes that shit to the heart every time. 
-“Good girl.” You said in passing when she healed you without being asked. It caused her to blush and feel a heat wave through her.
-She was happy to make things easier for you when she was in love with you and away from Shar. She doesn’t need anyone's approval anymore, no more sacrifices to be enough. She was enough to you. It made her feel comfortable. 
-Shadow wasn’t scared to praise you back. She is similar to Karlach in that way. She has no shame when she is happy with you to tell you that or give you a look that communicates that she will treat you to something more. 
-One night after she had abandoned Shar, she was still very lost and felt not herself. Even her hair isn’t the same as what she remembered. She didn’t remember much. It killed her, and you came to your shared tent. 
-“Shadow, I want you to know I haven’t met someone with so much bravery before.” You say to her as she sits across from you, saddened and quiet, and you come closer to her. “You were scared and did what you thought was right, and it was right, without knowing how it would end up. You dared to do something that terrified you. It inspires me, my love.” You finish as you touch her hand, you move a hair out of her face that still looks at the ground. She had red cheeks, and her breath was hitched. She needed to hear that. But she couldn’t find words to speak. “My brave cleric.” You say as you touch her cheek tenderly with a finger, rubbing it up and down and moving it away. “I think you will find your nerve again. Give it some time.”
-She, of course, finds it again and is her typically goofy brooding self again. And she remembers those words when she is afraid. She reminds herself that you find her brave, so she must act bravely. 
-The praise you give her keeps her sane even if she will never admit it. 
Minthara 
-Praise is not something to take or give lightly to Minthara. 
-Minthara is 230 years old (45ish in human years), and you are way younger than her by a hundred(s) of years. She sees you as someone who has yet to mold into a fully well-rounded person, and she likes to see herself as some kind of mentor and lover. 
-Minthara smirked at you when you did something she liked in the company of your party; she would back you up on almost any decision you made. If you kill or attack someone without asking questions, she will give you a nod and a “Good kill.” 
-Minthara doesn’t hate when she is praised by you. It gave her a reasonable confidence boost that she needed right now. But she scoffs at it and doesn’t like overly affectional praise or one that doesn’t feel earned. 
-She thinks the best praise is in sex with your moans and begs to her. She worships you, eyes devouring you as much as her mouth did to your clit. Her fingers toying and occasionally pinching your nipples, she moans into your body as she tastes your essence. She loves hearing how good she is doing and how great you feel; she keeps her path of getting your cum on her lips. 
-Minthara kisses up your body when she is done. She links her hips with yours with firm thrusts against you, and she says down to you, “Good girl, that’s right, move with me.” 
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i-cant-sing · 1 year
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PLS PLS WRITE THE PLATONIC YANDERE MIGUEL OHARA FIC IM BEGGINF 🙏🙏🙏🧎‍♂️🧎‍♂️🧎‍♂️🧎‍♂️🧎‍♂️WE NEED MORE PLATONIC FICS OF THIS MAN
(Thank you for reading this and have a great day!!)
I definitely see dad Miguel treating reader like a child, no matter what age you are. You could be a strong, independent woman, and to Miguel... you're a baby🥺 Everytime you get frustrated when he tells you no, or doesn't allow you to do what you want, he thinks you look absolutely adorable, your brows furrowed and your nostrils flared, and Miguel just has to just lean down to your level and you think that he's gonna offer you an explanation and in his mind, he does, but all he really says is-
"I know what's best for you, mija."
And if you dare to say "you're not my dad!", he won't say anything because yeah, you're right, but he will stare at you intimidatingly until you either take your words back or change the topic.
I think Miguel is not someone who talks much (but he still expects you to converse with him regularly) and so when he doesn't wanna argue with you, he may or may not shoot a web to seal your lips shut, just so that you give him enough time to explain (which again he doesnt), but he does use this time to tell you that you're grounded and then again, uses his strength against you to pick you up like a little bratty kitten and drop you back to your room.
I also think that Miguel definitely sees you as this helpless creature that would absolutely DIE without him. It doesn't matter if you're a spider-person like him, no. To him, you're just a frail kitten that needs papa Miguel's help to shelter her from the pouring rain and bubble wrap you and cuddle you and just- protect you from this all too harsh world.
And you could be trying to break free from his grasp, going of about how he didnt need you to pull you from your universe, how you had your life under control and what not, and Miguel would just sigh and shake his head and mutter "Teenagers🙄" EVEN IF YOU'RE AN ADULT.
Miguel isnt someone who talks about his feelings, definitely not at first, he just bottles everything up until the lid pops off and someone else has to face his fury. BUT that doesn't he doesn't expect you to talk about yours. He's super observant so the moment he notices the slightest change in your mood, or the way you breathe, oh he's bugging you to tell him whats wrong. I mean he's breathing down your neck, which as you already know isnt great because he is the only person you're allowed to talk to (minus Peter B Parker and Mayday), and eventually, he may even tie you upside down with his web to make you talk. And he's just nodding and offering up solutions/therapeutic advices (not really, they're just compromises) while you're getting blood rush from hanging off the ceiling for so long.
Also going back to the "you're not my dad!" thing, I think if you say it enough times, it does start to hurt him and eventually he reaches a breaking point where he does end up getting mad and bares his teeth at you as he yells "I AM, NOW! AND IF YOU DON'T START LISTENING TO ME MIJA, YOU WILL REGRET IT! NOW, MARCH OFF TO YOUR ROOM!" And sure, you get spooked enough to run off, but not before you yell like a very cliche, angsty teen "I hate you!" and you slam your door close before he could scold you again. He still comes right up to your door, probably to ground you even more, but he doesnt have the heart to open the door when he hears your sobs. Damn, now you just broke his heart. So, Miguel leaves, deciding its best that you two get some space to cool off.
Now I see Miguel as the type of dad who doesnt really apologise (mostly because he doesn't feel like he's done anything wrong) but instead offers a parley or a white flag of sorts in the form of food (like some cut up fruits and veggies, or even your fav takeout) and sure, his heart is still heavy with guilt, even more so when he sees your swollen red eyes indicating how you've been crying for days, so he clears his throat, maybe shifts in his seat a little and asks about your day or something random, heartbreak intensifying 100X when you refuse to talk to him, making him resort to something thats... uncomfortable for you both.
A hug.
I mean this has to be the most awkward hug in history, because Miguel just swoops you up and places you in his lap, pulling you to his chest and telling you that he's not letting go until you talk. STILL NOT APOLOGISING, I mean there is a greater likelihood that you may end up apologising to him but Miguel sure as hell isnt saying the word "sorry" (unless you're dead, specifically if u die in his arms hehe).
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shushmal · 2 months
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steddie + cold ❄️
Eddie's in love with an absolute toddler of a man.
It's the first real snow of the season and Eddie thankfully got the tire-chains out yesterday—his beautiful, wonderful, usually super independent boyfriend, however? Did not.
So Eddie is being treated to the rare opportunity of being the hero today. Steve's got a shift in a couple of hours and there's several inches of unseasonable snow on the ground, and Steve had called and asked Eddie if he could give him a ride. Eddie—pleased that his usually super independent, infuriatingly-refuses-to-ask-for-help boyfriend has, for the first time, asked Eddie for something, finally—is happy to oblige.
And Eddie, being the best boyfriend he can manage, leaves a few hours early for Steve's house with a thermos of hot chocolate and the plans to make lunch with Steve before he takes him to work.
Of course, because Eddie is dating the world's silliest man, he pulls up to the Harrington house to find Steve already outside.
Still in his pajama pants. Building snowmen.
"Hey," Steve says, blinking at Eddie like he's confused. His nose and cheeks are bright red from the cold—or maybe from embarrassment. The snowman family is already four bodies strong and one of them has a messy pine straw mane of hair and is holding stick hands with the only plain, unadorned one of the group. "You're— Early."
"I am," Eddie agrees. He bites the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing. "Thought we'd have lunch together."
Steve immediately brightens, excited. "Oh, awesome, I didn't even realize it was afternoon already!" He pauses, looking sheepishly at his art project. "Uh, let's go inside?"
Eddie snorts, "Sure, baby," and graciously doesn't comment on the snowmen. "You gotta be cold."
"Nah," Steve says. He does at least have on a jacket and gloves, boots. "Just, first snow, you know?"
"Sure," Eddie says, agreeable. Steve turns his back on Eddie, heading back up to the front door—his first mistake. "Gotta keep that childhood magic alive."
Because, if Steve's a giant man-child, Eddie is a public menace. Steve doesn't get a chance to reply, or really even two steps away, before the snow ball hits him square in the back of his head.
He turns back around, slowly, and the grin spreading across Steve's face is absolutely breathtaking. "You're going to regret that."
Eddie takes off shrieking, laughing, with Steve right on his heels.
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randomshyperson · 6 months
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Five Times Carol Danvers Kisses You
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Summary: The five times Carol Danvers kisses you until you two finally get together. 
Warnings: Mentions but nothing explicit, a lot of fluff, mutual pining (and typical angst of trope), best friends to lovers, pre-canon-compliant (takes place before Carol is taken), kissing, happy(ish) ending. | Words: 4.836k
A/N-> As mentioned on this blog before, I absolutely love the dynamics of "Five Times Something" and after watching The Marvels I became obsessed with Carol Danvers, and here I am with something about my beloved blondie. It's short and sweet, and I didn't want to write anything too angsty but you can get hints of what's to come from the canon (Dr.Lawson being a Kree in disguise and what will happen to Carol). But the fic doesn't address this directly and ends up with a happy scene. Let's all live in denial.
General Masterlist | AO3 | Wattpad
-&-
One.
“This is not a place to raise a child” was the justification your father used when he left. Funny enough, he didn't take the child, you, away from all the high-tech military weapons that he described as inadequate for a child to grow up around. 
His lost, it what your mother said, an easy smile on her lips while she offered you a gentle squeeze on the shoulder. She still had some grease on her jacket and a lot of dust on her hair but she looked beautiful. That was just how things were for Wendy Lawson.
And because she was the best mom anyone could ask for, or at least that was what you would perceive it with your limited references of healthy families. She was the best because she would let you sit around while she worked for the Shield, casually teaching you advanced engineering like it was the same homework you had from secondary school.
That was the only life you knew: Afternoons of trying to stay out of the way of Shield Agents and their big weapons until you were old enough to have a gun yourself.
But before that time came, some of them worried you weren't having a decent childhood. Away from guns at least.
You don't know which of the Agents suggested to Doctor Lawson the kart track, but you wish you could thank them. Your mother, as the busy cientist she always has been, was not available to be around all of the evenings you wished to spend there but she trusted your independence to use the bus after school. Besides, you had the impression that there were always Shield Agents keeping an eye on you no matter where you went.
Só for three whole years, that old place was your favorite. You would run out from the classroom with the first ring of the bell to get to the kart track as fast as you could, and for all those three years, you were also the best runner there.
Of course, it cost you some bloody noose and bruised hands. Especially with sore losers little boys who were very unpleased to be second placed by some random girl. There were also the parents, who would whisper not very lowly on how absurd it was to let an unsupervised little girl in such a violent activity.
As luck would have it, someday you were no longer the only little girl around.
The Danvers were local, and you always thought there were only three of them. The grumpy father and the loud and popular sons. But one day, the one with the warmest smile, the youngest son brought someone with him.
His little sister's name was Carol. She had her blonde hair tied down and she looked ready to punch anyone who gave her a hard time. All the Danvers kind looked the same to be fair. Blonde, strong and angry.
Unlike her brother and their free pass to do as they please, Carol was constantly reprimanded by her father. Even there, in front of the whole crowd and runners, he would scream and pinch her ear, adding to the fury that shone behind Carol's little blue eyes.
The other children would whisper just like their parents but growing up with spies and secret agents gave you this second nature to sneak in and out of places without being noticed. You weren't supposed to hear some of the adults whispering how Mr.Danvers drank more than he should or how his older son was leaving next summer for the army with a purple eye he didn't get in the training. You weren't supposed to but you did.
So the next time Carol crashed a car with one of the other runners, you messed up your perfect record to help her.
Her dad screamed again, as usual. But he left, muttering she could find her way home since she was so clever and Carol had those thick tears in her eyes that made them bluer, so you were helping her before you could give a second thought to it.
She didn't mind that you took her hand and brought her to the administration lobby. She's more interested in knowing how the hell you knew how to get there in the first place.
When you told her you grew up with spies she laughed thinking you were joking. You decided to tell her more stories in the hope it would distract her from the pain of the cuts she got in her legs from the crash.
It worked.
Carol had colorful patches on both her knees when you two sneaked out of there to the bus stop. You could take her home if she wished because you knew a lot about public transport but Carol smiled and said she could do it alone; Her dad was often not around and with soldiers brothers, she knew a lot about doing things by herself.
Yet, she appreciates the gesture and the thought. Her bus should be here in 25 minutes so you sit next to her and let your healthy knee brush her bruised one.
“My name is Carol Danvers by the way.” 
You have to chuckle at her line.
“I know who you are, Danvers.” You retort with an easy smile. She looks up with curiosity. You chuckle again. “You know your name is on the scoreboard, right?”
She laughs, almost shyly. You don't know that yet but Carol is not the best at making friends. Especially girlfriends because apparently, every girl hated how not 60s girly behavior she acted on as much as any boy.
You didn't mind. If anything, it kinda made you like her more.
“You didn't have to do that back there you know?” She starts over, fingers tugging at the bandaid you put above her knee. “Lose the race to check on me.”
You shrug, eyes on the road. “No worries. There'll be other races. Besides, you're the only real competition I get there. If you're not participating, what's the fun in winning?”
Carol's cheeks grow a little hotter, but you're both too young to know it has nothing to do with the sun above your heads. You offer her a smile and she gets up to signal to the bus.
But before she leaves, she turns to you again.
It's quicker than her crash that morning, the thank you little peck on your right cheek but is as meaningful as losing a three-year Invictus status on a track race for someone.
Carol nearly flees the scene once she catches the first glimpse of surprise in your expression. You were caught off guard, that's all. But all you can do is laugh to yourself as you watch her run to her bus.
Tomorrow, when you are back here, you'll find Carol so you can share your lunch with her. Today, you would walk home with no clue why the spot she kissed was tingling.
-&-
Two.
Shield Academy is not the army. 
It is, as the name suggests, an academic program for the gifted-minded. It's a place where a child who grew up surrounded by the brightest minds on the planet can get it easily.
Well, of course, there's a lot of studying and tiring exams that you wouldn't describe as easy but when taking everything into consideration, the only place a brainy - or huge nerd as Carol would call it - could end up was there.
So while you had big dark blue sweaters with the Shield logo on them, Carol had worn out public school uniforms. 
But she was doing okay. In fact, if anyone asked you, even though you were the nerd one in that friendship, for you, Carol was quite brilliant. She had a quick mind and such a strong, well, everything. She was as clever as she was kind. She was passionate about anything she cared for and she was easily your favorite person.
The kart track gave space for the public library and the green plains behind Shield Academia as you two grew up. Carol would take her bike from across town and spend the whole day after school in those green yards with you. Often, she had a football with her while you had a book.
And while you tried to escape your Shield colleagues, Carol would find her spot at your side. She would watch those training agents and wish to be like them, while both of you knew she would follow her brothers to the military when the time came.
But for now, you're sixteen. And Carol has been your best friend for almost 6 years now. You're not sure if friends have anniversaries or if it's something reserved for dating, and since you're not gonna ask any of the agents around, especially not Doctor Lawson, you just assume is okay to get Carol a gift.
She had been wishing for a walkman for so long - she had three already, all broke down during some of her naughty antics, from jumping into the reservation without remembering to take them off her backpack to get into a fight with older kids who thrown her stuff just for the fun of it. So yes, she had those before and she loved music but somehow she always ended up breaking them so you thought maybe because you were the one gifting it, she would be more careful.
You were right of course, but that's hardly the point.
Carol started to act strange after the gift. Even days later, during movie night at her house, she got quiet, which is definitely not a Carol Danvers kind of attitude, so you started to wonder if the present was a good idea at all.
That of course, until Carol clarified the whole thing.
“I got you something too. For, hum, the anniversary thing.” 
You pinched her ribs, the nearly shy behavior was such an odd thing to testify that was actually terrifying you. Carol has been your best friend for way too long for that or anything to be awkward between you two.
But then again, adolescence makes everything weird.
You don't open the gift very graciously. Because you were in the middle of movie night, of course, hands full of popcorn butter and Carol was being weird and suspect that you just wanted to put an end to it.
You chuckle at her worn-out team jacket there.
“So your gift to me is your jacket?” You asked with a confused frown, watching your friend struggle with her words the next moments.
“No, I mean yes. But not, just that.” She starts and it's quite the scene. Carol Danvers not being able to talk when that's all she does. “It's my favorite jacket. I… really like it.”
“Do you want it back then?” You suggest with a confused laugh but Carol shakes her head immediately, her cheeks rosy.
“God, no, that’s not…” she takes a deep breath. “I like the jacket, a lot, but not as much as I like you. So I thought, maybe if I can give you something that I really like, it will mean…”
“Oh, I get it.” You say with a smile, holding the jacket against your chest as Carol switches the weight in her foot. “Thank you, blondie. But you don't have to give me your favorite stuff to show me you like me. You don't have to give me anything at all really. Perhaps, all you have to do is say it and I'll believe you.”
Carol nods, shallowing dryly, and without missing a beat, she repeats her words from before: “I really like you.” It's nearly a whisper, and the way she struggles to hold your gaze tells you everything you need to know.
You smile, aware of the warmth spreading in your cheeks and ears.
“I really like you too, Carol.” You tell her and with no hush, you put her jacket on. The blonde in front of you takes a shaky breath once the jacket is properly around your body. You're distracted with the new outfit to take notice of the new dark shine her eyes hold. “Gotta admit it, Danvers, I could totally worm the athletic style. I mean, I look super cool don't I?”
But your question goes unanswered. Carol moves forward, her hands grab the collar of the gifted jacket and just like the first time, she kisses you quicker than you can manage to process.
Her lips are dry against yours because she's nervous. Trembling and terrified. You pull away, and Carol has her eyes closed tightly, breathing unevenly.
You take a deep breath and lick your lips to moisten them a little and the second kiss is much better. 
There's this soft noise she makes when you move your mouth but the second you feel her tongue on your lower lip, there's noise around you two.
As if getting electrocuted, Carol jumps away just in time for her evidently drunk father to stumble inside the garage.
Carol is not eight anymore, but she's the only one left in that house. Her older brother taught her five different ways to break someone's noose, but Carol still shakes like the leaves if her father is around with his harsh words and angry looks.
This time, however, he takes a long glance at you both. The guilty looks, accelerated breathing, and he just laughs.
The only thing he says is a slur that makes Carol flinch. Then he turns his back and climbs the stairs to his bedroom, passing out in the hallway before he can make it through.
“Carol, I-” You try but she forces a smile and nods at the door.
“Please go.” She asks. “I have to take him to bed and you don't have to stay.”
“But-”
“Please.”
You leave. And Carol doesn't bring up that night for the next two years.
-&-
Three.
Graduation means Army. More specifically, the Air Force because of course Carol Danvers wants to fly away from everything and everyone.
“Not everyone.” She frowns when you tell her that. Then she smiles, legs brushing yours at the back of her truck. “I would love to have you up there with me.”
You chuckle, giving her shoulder a little bump with your own.
“Sorry Blondie, you know I hate planes.” You joke but the shine in her eyes is deeper now.
“What about spaceships?” She insists it.
You sigh into the night, pensive for a second.
“Well, Mom would probably love it if I ever suggest anything that involves flying.” You say, breaking into a chuckle as your hand moves to the leg you have bent in that position, which allows you to trace your fingers toward your ankle. “Of course, anything other than my secret little Pegasus.”
Carol gives a compliance smile at the mention of the secret tattoo you got on her seventeenth birthday but continues to watch you in silence.
The stars are shining bright above you two, and the parked truck gives as much privacy as one could get in that neighborhood. If you and Carol weren't girls, people would make conclusions.
Perhaps they’ll do it anyway.
“What would I even do up there, Danvers?” You ask her because Carol is so passionate about flying that you're starting to wonder if she is able to see a whole different world up there that you can't.
This time, her hand finds you before her lips. She brings her fingers to yours resting on the truck and locks them. She gets closer and closer and gives you all the time in the world to push her back.
But she's Carol, and she's beautiful and she's your best friend. Why wouldn't you want to kiss her?
There's tongue this time. Hesitant at first then curious, until finally hungry. Of course, Carol Danvers is a good kisser, this asshole.
You break apart, to complain with a husky tone that is unfair but Carol only chuckles before kissing you again. And again. Until somehow you end with your back against her truck, painting into her mouth.
And Carol is seventeen years old and she's a huge virgin like you who really wants this to change tonight. Not just that, of course, but she's still a teen and that's exactly what she chooses to say in order to make this less life-changing than it is.
Because sleeping together as a way of ending high school without the V Card has a completely different meaning than sleeping together because you really want to ruin a friendship.
You swallow at her suggestion, aware that the heat in your veins doesn't cover for the way your heart just broke inside your chest.
But you smile and tell Carol you love her, making sure it sounds platonic. Just to hurt her just as much.
It works, but she kisses you anyway.
-&-
Four.
Maria Rambeau is the most incredible person you have ever met. She's clever and fun and kindhearted. It's so easy to love her and it comes so naturally, that you can't really blame Carol.
You also have no right to be jealous, you tell yourself.
After all, Carol asked more than once for you to at least consider following her to the Air Force. You both had military families, so it made sense for her that you both ended up following the same path.
You were not entirely excluded from that, of course. But unlike Carol with her soldier training, you had medical classes. And while she and Maria learned to shoot people, you learned to heal them.
That of course until the third year, when Carol's training moved to space crafting and yours moved to biological charts. The Pegasus was not the only military project available for you, and being home was good but every time you caught a glimpse of the empty fields near the station, you remember afternoons with Carol and the lack of her ache a hell lot inside your chest.
But visiting her at the base and then at a local bar was a bittersweet occasion.
Because time went by and Carol made a new friend. A lovely and brilliant and apparently less confused woman new best friend. Maria who made her laugh and blush and was such a great company that you couldn't hate her no matter how much the jealousy burned inside your veins.
Somehow, no matter how many dove eyes Carol threw at Maria, she didn't catch them. Immune to her charm entirely. You kinda wished she would teach you that.
The last free week you had was spent visiting Carol and ending up in a bar. But Maria's night was continuing with a good-looking soldier somewheres else, so yours and Carol's would continue with cheap drinks.
It was probably common sense, not to mix alcohol with feelings but you and Carol clearly skipped that class.
You ended up pressed behind the bar's wall in a messy attempt of drunken make-out with your former best friend.
Carol tasted like beer and the army's year changed her. Even drunk, she knew her way around a woman's body now and you had to force your stupid brain to stop wondering about who she had been practicing with. Perhaps Maria was not immune to her charm as you thought she was.
Just as things were getting out of hand, that is, it was probably against some army rules to have sex behind one bar in the military area, Carol pulled away.
She looked so good like that, with messy hair and flushing cheeks, her lips swollen due to the whole thing.
But her eyes were so sad. And you couldn't push the alcohol and the lust away to have clear thoughts on that.
“We can't do this again.” She declares with a seriousness that makes you swallow hard. “I can't.”
She stumbles away and you nearly slip down the hall on your shaky legs. Carol is looking for her car keys but she will definitely fall asleep on the seat.
To be fair, you kinda wished that night would end in her car seat, just in very different scenarios.
“Why not, Danvers?” You manage to question once the anger pushes a little of the alcohol away. Carol sighs tiredly. “Why?” You almost scream and she stops in her tracks, turning to give you a hurt look.
“I can't do this again, okay?” She retorts and she's drunk but she's so hurt. You can see it in her eyes and it kills you to think it is something you have done it. “I don't have the strength in me to get over you again”.
Your world freezes for a whole second. Your mouth is bitter suddenly.
“O-over me?” You repeat her words, confusion mixing with the pain you feel growing in your chest. “When… When were you under me?”
The question is the best of what your drunk brain can come up with but it's enough for Carol to understand.
She lets out a sad chuckle. “C'mon, Lawson. How could you not know? Everyone did. Even my dad, especially my dad.” She corrects herself then, bitterly before taking a deep breath. “It's past. It doesn't matter anymore. We are no longer kids, messing around with things we don't understand. I know what am I. And I know we shouldn’t. I won't jeopardize our friendship again for someone I cannot have.”
There are tears in your eyes, and Carol has the fucking worst timing in the world because your brain simply can't catch up with the meaning of this conversation with all the booze in the way.
“Carol, what are you even saying?”
She just smiles, giving a nod to the bar.
“Let's get inside, I'll get you a cab back to your hotel.”
She doesn't let you question further and the next morning, when the hangover barely allows you to open your eyes, Carol says the worst thing you did last night was try dancing with a Statue.
-&-
Five.
Doctor Lawson has been acting strange lately. She says it's work stress when she returns your calls and ignores your advice about her retiring.
You use your mother's stress as an excuse to come home, and it seems ridiculous that you have to invent reasons to see Carol, but she gives you no choice. Things have been very strange between you in recent months.
The house is a mess, and it's the first time you've worried about the possibility of dementia.
Strange phrases, disconnected words. You think about calling the head of Shield when you put Dr. Lawson to bed after making her some hot tea, but you end up calling Carol.
Your former best friend brings her old truck into your garage.
"Hey, blondie." She hugs you first at the greeting, and you sigh with satisfaction at the contact. You almost forget the stress of the whole meeting with your mother. "It's good to see you."
"I missed you." Carol says with a smile, squeezing you tighter before letting go. "What happened? You sounded worried on the phone."
You sigh before telling her everything you saw, standing there leaning on Carol's truck in the dim light of the garage. It's her turn to sigh when you finish.
"Good thing I brought beer." She comments, getting a laugh out of you. 
You don't even notice the time passing that night, but it's like being back in senior year, sitting side by side in the back of Carol's truck, forgetting the world around you for a moment.
When the case of beers is about to run out, you've said almost everything you have to say. Carol thinks she needs to add something more.
"I know the circumstances aren't the best but... I can't say I'm sad." She begins, looking straight ahead, a half-full can of beer in her hands. "With the possibility of you coming to live here again, I mean. I've kind of hated Washington since you left. And Shield too, for taking you away."
You giggle shyly at this and don't know what to say to Carol, so you just decide to hug her. But you're a bit dizzy after the third beer and miscalculate your approach. You end up too close to her face and can see almost in slow motion how the blue darkens or how Carol chokes on her breath.
"I'm sorry, I-" you begin in a hoarse voice, but she doesn't let you finish. The beer can slips out of her hand as she uses both to pull your face towards her.
It's an intense, messy, and passionate kiss. Carol swallows all the sighs that escape your lips as she presses her mouth to yours. Her tongue doesn't ask for passage. You melt against her and try your best to match her energy, suddenly feeling very dizzy, unrelated to the beer.
Her hands move from your face to your neck and down to your waist. Carol mentions pulling you onto her lap, but the balcony lights flicker on and she grunts as she pulls away.
You're still blinking spellbound at the whole thing, trying to catch your breath as she stands up, adjusting her hair.
"Fuck, I shouldn't have done that." She mutters more to herself than to you, hoarse and upset. You swallow dry. "I'm so stupid."
"Carol."
"You're so fucking stupid, Carol Danvers, I swear to God." She ignores your call, continuing to curse quietly to herself. You frown, but end up looking at the porch; your mother has woken up and looks just as lost as before and you really need to check on her.
When you get out of the truck, you touch Carol on the shoulder, and she turns around almost in despair.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that, I'm leaving-"
"Carol, shut up." You cut her off and don't let her say another word.
She shuts up immediately. "I really have to get back inside, and make sure my mom doesn't turn on any water or store the cat in the fridge again." You chuckle apologetically, stroking her cheek. "But I need you to understand that this isn't a mistake, an accident or a thoughtless act after a few beers. At least it isn't and it never was for me. We need to start talking to each other."
Carol nods quickly, swallowing as she looks down at your swollen lips. "Yeah, talking is good."
You smile, and hear the sound of the cat in the house and think you'd better start running. "Later, okay?"
"Later."
But your mother doesn't have dementia. She's not even allowed in a regular hospital. Shield is strangely private about everything, but you're practically coerced into signing confidentiality papers about the current state of Dr. Lawson, who seems to miraculously improve after spending an hour in a room with other agents.
Carol is the only person you can talk to about things, and she has news of her own.
"Maria is pregnant." She tells you, with a twinkle in her eye, without waiting for you to finish absorbing the news. "And she wants me to be the godmother!"
You're happy for Maria, especially perhaps because she's seeing that handsome soldier and she and Carol have nothing going on. Also, you need to tell Carol that you can go back to Washinton now that your mother is better.
"Oh, I thought..." The blonde hesitates as she hears the news, trying not to look upset by forcing a smile that doesn't reach her eyes. "I thought you'd decided to stay."
You're having breakfast in the living room of your house, Dr. Lawson is working upstairs. You swallow the bitter feeling of hurting Carol again.
"I would, for Mom. But why would I stay in Louisiana?" It's a rhetorical question because you both know very well what would make you stay. Carol laughs sadly, looking down. You get tired of pretending. " I would stay for you. I would stay for... us."
She looks at you in silence, a conflict of emotions on her face. "Don't be ridiculous, you can't just give up your career for a friendship-"
"Carol." You cut her off seriously, and she choked on her sentence, her eyes as tearful as yours. You give her a small smile, trying to ignore the way your heart is pounding in your chest. "You know that's not what I'm saying."
She swallows dryly, and despite reaching out to take your hand, she insists; "I'm gonna need you to say it."
"God, you're such an asshole." You gasp with emotion, laughing as tears of happiness escape yours and her eyes. Carol also laughs but waits. "Okay, Danvers. You've got me. I'm completely, irrevocably in love with you. I have been for a long time, maybe since the first time I saw you. And I'm sorry it took me so long to tell you."
Carol almost knocks over the coffee table when she moves in to kiss you but you wouldn’t have it any other way.
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saturnsbabyboii · 10 months
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𐐪𐑂Astro Observations𐐪𐑂
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(Life is like a butterfly...You go through changes before you become something beautiful)
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𐐪𐑂 Despite people talking negatively about Pluto and Saturn, I find them to be the most important and beautiful planets. If you have ever felt hopeless or stuck, look into the position of these two in your chart. All of us struggle regardless, however, Saturn and Pluto bestow us with insight, lessons and knowledge we gain through that struggle and as a result we get to move on further into our journey.
𐐪𐑂 I have found people with earlier degrees on their ascendent tend to have larger frames while those later tend to have smaller ones. I am not talking specifically about weight and measurements per se but rather the general form.
𐐪𐑂 Although aspects act the same in general, it is very interesting when you look into the signs, elements and modalities involved. For example, Trine tends to bring abundance when in Water and in between inner planet but is an indication of overindulgence when it occurs from an inner planet to an outer one.
𐐪𐑂 Mercury opposite Mars "I am not angry! That is just my tone." Be mindful of how you sound and how you deliver your message. It is important to be honest, but it is also important to have tact.
𐐪𐑂 Even though people still dispute which placements determine our leaning towards extroversion and introversion, I have found that the houses and the planets falling in them suggest what are we more introverted about and what are we more extroverted in. Having multiple planets in a house could indicate a higher leaning to extroversion as the sense to express is very strong and immediate, as opposed to an empty house, one might be less inclined to share. The houses that contain only one planet tend to fall under the general energy of said planet and sign ruling over the house, indicating a higher sense of introversion as the person may desire to reflect on the themes of the house or would rather to practice them alone than with others.
𐐪𐑂 However, in case of overall introversion and extroversion, having more planets in Air houses (3rd, 7th, 11th) indicate high extroversion while in Fire houses (1st, 5th, 9th) indicate higher introversion. This may sound off as Fire signs are given the reputation of boldness, however, as the opposite of Air, Fire tend to itself. Introversion isn't anxiety and awkwardness (although it might include them), but rather it describes a person that isn't reliant on social communication, has a low need for others, desires independence, and excels on their own. Another thing, the themes of the 1st, 5th and 9th, relate to freedom, personal journey, creativity, ideologies, beliefs and the self. Meanwhile, the 3rd, 7th, and the 11th relate to unity, communication, the collective, collaboration, harmony and the "us".
𐐪𐑂 Cancer Risings give off favorite child vibes. Having Leo in the 2nd and Libra in the 4th house defiantly makes for the "golden child" trope.
𐐪𐑂 I believe that the degree of a planet has bigger affect on its core desire while the sign affects the manner that the planet translates or comes across. For example, Aries Mercury is usually is thought of as brash and abrasive or interested in things that have themes of violence and sex. However, when in an air degree this person can be much more interested in matters of communication, science, education and holds social rapport at a higher regard. The difference being that the Aries Mercury with the air degree might come across very detailed and articulate, perhaps even to the point of pretentiousness. Yet in matters of thinking they're much more thought out, factual and meticulous than the general Aries Mercury description.
𐐪𐑂 People with Chiron in the 9th house may need to leave their home country or cut off their family to begin healing.
𐐪𐑂 Every sign deep down is similar to their opposite. Aquarius desires to standout while Leo seeks to fit in and belong, Taurus enjoys today in fear of tomorrow while Scorpio wishes for a better tomorrow so they can finally enjoy their day, Capricorn works hard in hopes of creating a better home while Cancer works hard to ensure the comfort of their home, Aries seeks companionship through conflict while Libra seeks individuality through process of elimination, Virgo does practical things out of superstitious believes while Pisces engages in escapist and spiritual practices to better understand realistic demands, Gemini learns to mentor while Sagittarius mentors to learn. Granted, this is an overly simplistic form of explaining it but I hope it was able to better explain.
𐐪𐑂 Venus Aquarius not only desires but actually thrives off of creating bonds online.
𐐪𐑂 People with Jupiter in the 12th would take very long to learn life lessons. This is partly due to having to under go many cycles of self undoing and changes to finally get the lesson.
𐐪𐑂 People with Saturn in 3rd/9th may be untraditional students or enter university late or take time to graduate.
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saturns7moon · 4 months
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just had the fattest astrology realisation about myself bro. majority of the time, i’ve always found myself being attracted to people with virgo/aquarius in their chart, but mainly virgo. and for months i’ve been ITCHING to figure out why that is cus i’m constantly always finding that sign in people’s charts when i have even the littlest bit of attraction them, platonic or romantic.
i’m a sidereal libra sun in the 1H. the sun is in fall in libra, basically meaning it lacks light, where the sun shines for signs like leo and aries, the sun is dark for libra. the sun is the core of our birth charts, the center of what makes our birth charts, basically the human equivalent to our personal identity. it is a common thing for sidereal libras (scorpios) to feel as though they have never truly felt connected with their selves. libras are known to be the sign linked with relationships, libra rules over our house of relationships (7H) opposing their independent counterpart aries who rules our first house of self (1H).
from personal experience, i know libras, especially libra suns, have a very difficult time when it comes to understanding their selves. they find their bits of identity in their relationships because commonly growing up their environment might’ve made them feel as though there wasn’t space for them to grow and understand their selves as individuals, so usually like any child would, they would seek that void in other people, satisfying what they truly want by satisfying others. this is why i’ve observed a lot of people claiming that libras have a hard time being with their selves, leading them to have people pleasing tendencies, and commonly in the astrology community, there is that small joke of how libras cannot choose anything or make an easy choice when it comes to simple things like food, and (i’m taking it to the extreme here so i can really make my point, so i’m not saying that this is fact 😭) usually that’s because libras have never had an easy way to create a choice for their selves. i’ve observed that they don’t know how to form an opinion or choice on something independently without background approval from people as there is a fear or anxiety that they might be making the wrong choice which completely juxtaposes their sister sign aries who is known for their independence, and leading their own route, sometimes forming a sort of hyper independence, which is the shadow side of aries opposed to the anxiety ridden side of libra who is afraid to make a wrong decision.
now leading to where i was going with this, virgos are sidereal leo’s. leo’s are the only sign in the entire birth chart wheel that is ruled by the sun. the sun shines, the sun is hot, the sun gives us light. the sun has many benefits, like giving us our vitamin d and also just boosting any type of energy we may need. yknow how people make that joke where it’s like "when you are out in the sun and all of a sudden all your problems in the world are lifted"? basically what i’m getting at is the sun is a light that benefits us as people greatly. now with astrology, and on my personal experience, i’m a sidereal libra sun like i said, and i have a lot of libra in my chart (sun, rising, jupiter) and i’ve always said to my self, i have a hard time understanding my identity and who i am and what i have. and not saying all signs don’t have their shadow side, we all do. but within the astro wheel, all signs have something that somebody else wants, whether you realise it or not.
personally, all the sidereal leo’s i have met have that light, a sense of sureness, a strong grip of identity that i am lacking within myself. it’s so admirable and beautiful to me to see someone shine the way that they do, and whether they know it or not, sidereal leo’s to me are so such impeccably amazing people. they go for their goals and they never stop no matter the circumstance, and their such a beautiful ball of energy that i wish i was myself.
however this is why i wanted to write this as i got the click of understanding on why usually i always get my heart broken by this sign. i’ve noticed that sidereal leo’s, in all my past relationships, have really left a painful mark on my heart and i just couldn’t understand why before, but thank the lord we have astrology 😭.
the sun is a malefic planet, alongside saturn and mars (in vedic astrology) including rahu and ketu (our north node and south node).
personally, what i’ve gathered, is that virgos (sidereal leo’s) have what i lack, and i’m attracted to them because they have the quality i truly desire within me. however the sun is, as mentioned, a malefic planet because it shows what has to be sacrificed in order to make the most growth. the sun is a giant ball of fire. people commonly use fire to purify something in some cultural practices. to purify means you need to burn and leave something behind. you need to kill something to start again and rejuvenate. kinda like a phoenix. i think because i lack light, i’m constantly looking for that in other people, and as i grow up, i’m starting to understand that i shouldn’t look for my light solely in other people and to start with myself, no matter how scary that may be.
the sidereal leo’s i have and do know in my life have taught me different types of things, good or bad. i’m eighteen and still creating an understanding of who i am as a person, so i’m always gonna be taught different types of things. no matter how the relationship ended between me and a leo, i always hold a certain amount of love and respect for that person as they taught me something special for me to understand more about myself, which is truly what i want in life. to understand me and so i can go and help people understand their self. however, i can’t do that if i’m going out there with no fire within me to burn and constantly leaving failed match sticks behind me in piles.
sidereal leo’s are a light in their selves that i love and adore and hope one day i can come to a place and have that for myself, have that light i can cherish the way they cherish theirs. whether they know it or not. for now i’m still seeking approval from people, subconsciously and consciously, but i’m still growing as a person and hopefully one day i can put something out here without trembling in fear on whether i was wrong and what people would think of me lmao. sometimes idc (aries moon and mars, scorpio mercury) but most times i do 😭. but for now, yeah. we’re all just living and growing.
okay i’m done 😭. this was a bunch of waffle i’ve just been writing for thirty minutes and idek if i make sense half of the time lmao. that was a lot🧍🏾‍♀️. and also i’m so sorry i’ve been gone for so long, i usually only write on here when i get that strike of inspiration that i had just gotten now. idk if i’ll be back again, but i’ll try loves 😕🫶🏾. okay bye bye for now <3.
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msmk11 · 4 months
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Sooooo at 11 o’clock at night, as every girl does, I was rearranging my room and moving heavy furniture. While I find myself to be quite the strong and independent woman (I was but at the cost of a sore back and broken snow globe) I can’t help but wish I had had James Potter around to help me.
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It’s late on a Thursday night and Roommate!James is getting ready for bed because he has work in the morning. After finishing brushing his teeth he is walking down the hall to his room when he hears a loud thump from in your room and a muffled “shit!” More than a little worried, he knocks on the door and then cracks it open, “Angel? You okay in here?”
The sight before him is far from what he suspected, but he can’t help the amused grin that creeps onto his face. Your room, to say the least, is a disaster. Furniture is all out of order, books are scattered everywhere, and on top of your pajamas you are wearing a tutu that has to have been a child’s and rainbow, heart-shaped sunglasses.
“Uh, so what’s happening in here?”
You have the decency to look at least a little sheepish at being caught, “oh nothing, just rearranging my room.”
James looks at his phone, “at 11:30 at night? Angel, don’t you have work tomorrow?”
“Well yeah, but I was sitting here, getting ready for bed, when I realized that my room looks all wrong. And I had to change it.”
“And it can’t wait until tomorrow?”
You shake your head, “nope. Won’t be able to sleep until it’s fixed.”
Even though he sighs, he can’t help but find this all a little bit endearing. And you just look too damn cute in that tutu that’s much too small, “well, at least let me help you. This furniture is heavy.”
You pout at him and cross your arms, “I am perfectly strong and independent, thank you very much. I don’t need a big strong man’s help.”
He pokes your cheek to get you to smile and says, “I know you are, angel. But it’d make me feel better if I did it. Don’t want something falling on you and you getting hurt.”
You look at him with those big, soft eyes of yours and say, “but don’t you have a big meeting tomorrow? You need your sleep.”
His heart nearly bursts in his chest, “Well yeah. But I won’t sleep regardless, either cause I’m helping you or I’m up worrying about you. So just accept my help.”
You grumble out a little “fine.”
He gives you a smile, “excellent, now tell me more about this tutu.”
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im-a-wh0r3 · 1 month
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fuck it, I’ve decided to take matters into my own hands and write a fic about James Logan ‘Wolverine’ Howlett x reader. I intend to make this a long-ass series, lmk if you’d like that. I’m gonna do it anyway but would like to know if anyone would read it.
I haven’t written anything in like 4 years so it might start a little shitty so bear with me 🙏
Second Chance
Pairing: James Logan Howlett/Wolverine x Mutant!Magneto’s sister!Reader
friends to lovers to strangers to enemies to frenemies to friends to lovers (not all in 1 chapter dw)
Warnings: Historical inaccuracy (I’m not a historian pls 😩), afab!fem!reader, use of y/n, I’m shit at summaries so it’s gonna feel a bit bullet pointy (lmk if there’s more)
Added notes: considering the reader is Magneto’s sister, that would make her Jewish, you obviously don’t have to be Jewish to read this. I myself am not Jewish, however, I put myself very much into this character and I feel Magneto and myself are very similar personality-wise so making him the brother of the character that I have created made sense to me, their mutations are also kinda similar. What Erik went through during the Second World War isn’t mentioned in this because I felt that was incredibly insensitive of me considering I in no way relate to it, but if I do state anything that causes issue please inform me and I will change it. (tbh I tried not to mention the happenings of the war at all because I know very little about it but still, let me know)
Summary: You were only young when the war began. As a young woman in 1939 you could do very little to assist, so you became a nurse. What you didn’t realise was how much tragedy, heartbreak and indescribable desire this choice was going to bring you.
Word Count: 1.4K
Hope you enjoy <3
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Nuremberg 1924, Jakob and Edie Eisenhardt had just given birth to a beautiful baby girl, y/n. You were an independent, strong-willed child, never ill, and learning to walk and talk long before others your age. So, when you were four, and your mother gave birth to your little sister Ruth, a sickly child, your mother’s attention was ripped from you, far more concerned with your sister's wellbeing, with her constantly slipping in and out of illness. Your father was also away a lot with work, leaving you to entertain yourself. You were never fazed much, preferring the company of your family dog, Otto, your playful 2-year-old border collie.
Your strange connection to the earth began to show not long after your little sister was born. Not thinking much at the young age of four, of the strange habit animals had of following you, the way the flames in the fireplace would dance whenever you were near, and how the wind would bend around you. Then, two years later, Max was born. He was just like you, strong-willed and stubborn. You adored your little brother, taking him everywhere with you. Walking with his pram with Otto through the fields that surrounded your home.
As you grew, you began to slowly notice not only your oddities but also your brothers. The way he would drop his knife or fork whilst eating dinner, and then command it straight back to his hand, the voice you thought was in your head, speaking to you as if it was- Otto?! Yes, very odd. You brushed it off, knowing that if you were to tell your parents, they would treat you as if you were a silly little child begging for attention. By the time you were fourteen, however, it was far too noticeable to just push aside. The flames began to roar in the fireplace, the voice which you refused to believe was Otto began becoming far too clear, and even the spiders you would remove from your house began to sound as if they were shouting at you. At least your brother had calmed down, with him being eight you supposed his childlike lack of care had faded away. One less problem to deal with.
A year later, the war began. Your father had insisted upon you taking your brother and sister to England with you, where you would be staying with your uncle in the countryside. Ruth came along easily, Max on the other hand refused to leave your mother and father, too afraid to be apart from them. After days of arguments, your parents gave in, allowing just you and your sister to travel to England, ensuring that Max would be safe with them. The following day, your bags were packed and you were ready to part from the only home you had ever known. You said your goodbyes and reluctantly waved your home farewell.
“Promise me they’ll be okay” Ruth pleaded, snapping you away from your train of thought.
“They’ll be alright Ruthie” you gave her a half smile, only half believing your own words. “Mother and father promised, remember?” you continued.
She gave a curt nod, continuing the silence.
Your life in England was different, to say the least. Your uncle Erich was a stoic man, never caring much for children, though you and your sister tried to do your best by him as thanks. At the age of 16, you left high school and began a nursing training program, in hopes of aiding those fighting in the war.
The three years were gruelling. The war had disrupted your schooling, having to break during your travels, leaving you behind the other trainees. You refused to let that hinder your progress, you feared for your family every day, the least you could do was help those who could be helped. As awful as the past three years had been, you made it through your training, and eventually, on the 10th of June 1944, you arrived in Normandy, to assist your wounded troops.
The medical tents are awful, to say the least. They’re cramped, sweaty and reek of... men. You make your way to the end of the tent and are greeted by a tall, tanned, gorgeous man. He seems unscathed, lying comfortably in one of the beds.
“Hey there soldier” you greet him. His deep brown eyes meeting yours. “Anything I can do for you?” you continue, eyeing him over once more.
“You tell me bub” his Canadian accent catches you off guard. “They sent me in here, told ‘em I was fine” There’s a slight humorous tone to his voice.
“I’ve seen all the bloodshed out there” you counter. “You trying to tell me you went through all that with not even a scratch to show for it?” he grins.
“Guess I’m just indestructible” he shrugs.
“Or just very lucky” you argue. “Well, if you’re completely fine I’d appreciate it if you could leave the space for someone who needs it” you give him a tight smile, not exactly wanting the beautiful stranger to leave, but needing to put your job first.
“I don’t see anyone out there waiting” he retorts. “James Howlett” offering you his hand.
“Y/n” you ignore his outstretched arm, staring quizzically at him.
“Well, Miss y/n” he stands. “It was a pleasure. I hope to be seeing you again” he grins at you once more and begins making his exit.
“I hope not” you shout to him, in hopes he can hear you, smiling quietly to yourself.
You continued your work for the next few days, aiding men with injuries far worse than you had seen before. Then, after the few days that followed, the stranger that you now knew as James, was back in your care once again, and just like the last time, you discharged him. It became routine, every few days, you would find James lying in one of your beds, completely unharmed. You would discharge him after a quick checkup, and then a few days later you’d find him lying there yet again, like clockwork. You began to form a friendship with the impenetrable soldier, dismissing his flirtatious remarks with witty underhand comments. The banter between the two of you came easily, taking jabs at one another constantly, and having conversations that came with no struggle. This continued for weeks, his visits becoming more frequent, your conversations once full of banter, now riddled with flirtation.
“Oh c’mon bub” his deep Canadian voice implored you. “You not even gonna check me over? I could be dying” he smirked.
you raised an eyebrow inquisitively.
“Oh yeah? Where are you wounded sweetheart?” you encouraged. “Here?” you placed a flat hand over his bare chest, slowly dragging it down.
“No.” he stopped you, your heart began to race, redness adorning your cheeks. Had you taken it a step too far, had you read his signals wrong, was he just- the clearing of his throat willed you back from your thoughts.
“Right here” he pointed his finger to his lips. “Heard kissing it better helps” that cocky smirk meeting you once again. He offered you his hand, this time not ignoring it, you outstretched yours. His fingers barely grazed yours, hand slowly rising to your wrist. He grabbed it lightly, giving you time to pull away, when you didn’t, he gave a sharp tug, causing you to topple into him. His eyes locked with yours, a feeling so familiar, and yet in this instance, so foreign. His hand, now placed on your lower back, moving slowly to cup the back of your head, the other grasping your waist. Your hands were firmly placed on either side of his head, unable to move in fear of falling. He slowly pulled himself up, your faces much closer than before. He waited, giving you one last chance to pull away, you didn’t, holding his gaze unwavering. You could feel his breath fanning your face, his stubble tickling your skin.
The kiss was soft. Far from rushed.
He held you gently, as if you were fragile, ready to break at any moment. The kiss didn’t last long, the sounds of the other patients snapping you both back to reality.
“You should go” you whisper into his lips, unable to now meet his gaze.
“I suppose I should” he agrees, grabbing your chin, forcing your gaze to meet his. You stare once again into his brown eyes, the closeness allowing you to see the green specs that litter his irises. “Till next time, yeah sweetheart?” he gives me one last kiss before making his exit.
“Next time.”
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geovanag · 8 months
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🪐 Astrology Observations 5 🪐
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Capricorn Moon signs start to look more attractive to other people when they reach middle age (after 40).
You may know that the Moon is at its lowest position in Capricorn. So how did I make such an observation despite this position? By middle age, many turning points in a person's life are completed. The moon is one of them. Now the mature (Capricorn) emotions (moon) begin to show themselves.
Then these people, who maximize their emotional maturity, improve the problems in their relationships with their mothers and sometimes succeed in camouflaging their feelings and sometimes in sharing their feelings with people they feel close to.
(This was the position I observed in men).
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I think the Sun Ascendant square aspect is really challenging for a man. He has a problem with the authority figure, the father from an early age. It may not be completely confrontational (unless Mars, saturn, uranus and pluto are in hard influence)
Being in the same environment together can make them feel like they are being restricted. Maybe they feel that something is wrong. But is it really what they think it is? Yes. With the other person, (the Sun) it is very difficult for them to forget everything and get back together with them. (Orb should be maximum 6)
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Although they say that Juno is only a marriage indicator and other asteroids can show ceremonies like weddings, I don't go into that much detail. I think even Juno can show the wedding process. For example; I had a friend with Juno in Virgo. Maybe she didn't scrutinize the person she was going to marry down to the most meticulous detail, but the wedding process was exactly like that. She had prepared details down to what the guests would wear. Ugh I think it is very tiring, even though I have Virgo juno, lol
Juno in Virgo may have met the man she will marry at work.
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Chiron - Moon square aspect, this aspect allows you to feel the healing and wounded spirit of Chiron deep down. Let's not discuss whether it's good or bad, but it's certainly very palpable. Your emotions are shaped by "compassion". For example, you see a homeless man and a little child a little further away. You feel infinite compassion for these two people and a desire to give them a home. You take into account the situation and circumstances and just think that they are in need of help. Independently of this, I find it interesting that people with this aspect do not get enough support from the women around them. Maybe this is how the "lacking" aspect of chiron works. I would like to write a more detailed article about Chiron.
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Having a Venus-Neptune-Jupiter T-square. The signs and houses where the planets are located will play a serious role. I know someone who has this T-square in 2nd-4th-10th houses. I realized that he is not where he is supposed to be because of his family's pressures. He doesn't want to talk about it but I can observe it. Sometimes his mother and sometimes his father try to shape his future position, how he will earn money without asking him. This will hurt him a lot but he has a very strong character and he will get what he wants at the end of this path.
~
Having Pluto aspects in synastry is known to be quite difficult. But you should know that it is difficult for the planetary person. Because they are both deeply attracted to Pluto's mysterious aura and very annoyed by it. Both of these feelings are exhausting for them. I am not saying that Pluto benefits from this, but things are much simpler for Pluto. It's the other one who gets exhausted.
In the next post I will write about the ascendants in the Composite chart. New post will be coming very soon, please get in touch if you have any observations you would like to share.
TAKE CARE,,, 🌬
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httpknjoon · 11 months
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(re)starting over again | kth; 12
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plot | Your four-year relationship with Taehyung was going well and strong. Until he was involved in a car accident, resulting to him losing some memories. By some, it means everything that happened five years ago. Things he remember? His friends, his bakeshop, and his ex girlfriend from the past. With that, you tried to keep up, restarting over again.
words | 5.3k
genres | fluff, angst, amnesia au
pairing | taehyung x reader
warning/s | mentions of death, drinking, disease (cancer)
note | surpisingly, i am still alive lol i'm kidding. i apologize for the delay! the bad headaches are now gone and the fever has cooled down. and now, the update's here! to everyone who sent their messages, tysm I appreciate it 🥺 I didn't mean to ghost y'all, I'm so sorry! anw hope u enjoy reading this one :)
main masterlist | series masterlist
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Ever since you were young, you liked things to go the way you planned it. When you were younger, you carried a small notebook with you. Your father gave you your first one during the holidays when you were seven. In there, you make your own little bullet journal, listing off the things you would want to do for the upcoming days. With your messy handwriting, you even wrote your far future plans.
As a child, you used to see things with your rose-colored glasses. Everything seemed real and attainable for your small hands. You thought you just had to follow the usual path of your plans and you would be fine. But things do not always go according to plan. You learned it the hard way.
You always dreamt of being a nurse. At age eight, you were a frequent visitor to the hospital. Not because you were sick yourself, but because you and your mom had to go back there from time to time with your dad who was receiving treatment for his disease. You wanted to take care of him. So you did what a little girl could do, listen to your dad’s heartbeat through your plastic toy stethoscope and kiss his pain away. He would always call you his favorite nurse and you would give him your toothy grin. After a year, when you were nine, he lost his battle with cancer. 
Confused and in sorrow, you almost crossed out that dream from your list. You had a hard time understanding why you had to lose your dad at such an early age. Your friends had dads, how come you lost yours before you could even reach middle school? Then, you became angry. Your father was always in treatment in the hospital. Hospitals are meant to cure people, right? Your little kid brain thought. It felt unfair to you.
But then, you and your mom later left the small neighborhood you were living in and moved in with your aunt– her older sister. Aunty Belle is a nurse herself, a surprise for you as you didn’t know you have a relative who works in the same place you loathed at that time. But you couldn’t bring yourself to hate her, she was warm and welcoming when you arrived in her humble abode in Incheon. She doesn’t have a family of her own so she took good care of you and your mom. She became your third parent while your mom deals with the grief of losing her husband.
“It’s fun. You get to meet wonderful people every day and help them to feel better.” your aunt replied once when you asked her about her job.
Aunty Belle never got tired of your questions and curiosity about nursing. Slowly, you began rebuilding your plans. The dream of being a nurse is back, added with your other dreams: making your mom happy, and living independently (like your aunt). You studied hard, aiming for higher grades and going to the best college for your dreams.
But at age fifteen, Aunty Belle became your legal guardian when your mom passed. Through your aunt, you learned that your mother has been struggling heavier than you expected. Your aunt was extremely worried for your mom that’s why she begged her to come and live with her. You always thought your mom was getting better with how she cried less day by day and even took a job as a receptionist in a dental clinic. 
Since then, you have become more understanding and emotionally sensitive to everyone. The feelings you had years ago when you lost your dad were creeping around you. This time, instead of being angry at something else, you felt like this one was on you. You blamed yourself for not seeing the signs from your mother’s eyes. How she became more reserved or how her eyes were often blank whenever she tried to smile for you. Maybe you were too focused on reaching your plans that you didn’t give any attention to her. You were angry, hurt, and in guilt. It’s too overwhelming and is heavy in your heart. It reached the point where you broke down during breakfast, in front of the toast and bacon Aunty Belle prepared for you, weeks after your mom’s funeral.
“I should’ve seen it. I should have seen that she was not okay.” you sniffed as you looked down your plate. “I was supposed to make her feel better and happy.”
Crying, you pushed your plate in front of you and just covered your face with your palms. You repeated the words over and over again like you were reminding yourself how you failed as your mom’s only child.
“Oh, sweetie…” your aunt whispered before sitting beside you and enveloping you in a hug. Her hand moved up and down your arms, making you feel warm. “It’s not your fault. You are the best daughter she could ask for. She loves you more than anything else.”
After that morning, Aunty Belle made sure to get you the best help. She guided you in everything she could and supported you with your choices. She made sure that you will still pursue your plans, never stopping you from doing what you want. Years later, you graduated from high school and were about to embark on a new journey.
“You know that you can just have this place,” she mumbled when you were packing your things. “I’m selling it anyway.”
“But Aunty, this isn’t in my plan. You know how bad I want to live in Seoul.” you smiled at her.
Because of your efforts and hard work, you got accepted into one of the best universities in another city. You later moved from Incheon to Seoul to finish your studies and become a nurse there. While Aunty Belle sold her home and followed her own plans of living with her longtime best friends under one roof.
But none of what happened in the last few years was part of your plans when you were younger. You didn’t really see yourself coming back to Incheon after living in Seoul for the longest time. You never thought you would leave your job in the hospital you dreamed of and work in a slightly different environment.
Two years ago, you left home. The house you had plans in with someone else. You were the one who broke off those plans and moved away without really telling anyone. You remembered that night like it was yesterday.
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Every step you took away from him felt like a piece of you fell on the ground. Your vision was all blurry and you had to cover your lips as you sobbed. You clutched onto your gown while you remind yourself that you need to do this. For the sake of your own being. But still, there is this voice telling you to stay– to turn around and come back to him.
“YN, honey,” 
Looking up, you see Julia looking at you with sympathy. She walked towards you with open arms and you immediately just broke down on her dress. Listening to your sobs, Julia eyes her date, whom you didn’t notice was there waiting too, to get in the car. 
Your whispered voice muffled in the hug, “I hate this so much,”
The whole drive home, Julia and Chanyeol respected your silence in the backseat. They put on some radio music and chatted about the wedding while your teary eyes just looked outside the window. They were like your parents that night. When you guys passed by McDonald’s, it took one nudge from Julia to make Chanyeol turn the car back around for the drive-thru. She ordered your food for you in a separate bag so you could have something to eat when you reached home. When you arrived in front of your house, they helped you with your small bag. 
“Thank you so much, guys. I’m sorry this is our first meeting, Chanyeol.” you tried to lighten the mood as you three stood on the porch.
He smiled, “It’s fine. Everyone has their bad day.”
You chuckled before Julia nudged her again with her elbow. Then, she turns to you.
“What time are you leaving tomorrow?”
“Probably early morning. I already have the keys to keep my apartment so I can go there now too if I want to.” your words rambled as your head felt like a mess.
“Okay, call me. I’ll pick you up–” Before you can say anything, she lifts her finger. “And no, I won’t take no for an answer. I wanna see your new place.”
They left after Julia made sure you were fine. Walking into your house for the last time, you tried to go straight to your room to change from your gown to your pajamas. Then, you cried again. And again. And again. 
The last time you woke up in that house was the morning after that. You woke up before dawn. The sky was barely lit and the moon was still present above you. You promised yourself that you would leave like a ghost. Like what you have been doing the last few days. Cleaning up, your hand ran on your bedsheets to smoothen out the wrinkles. Fortunately, almost ninety percent of your clothes fit in two pieces of luggage. You just have to leave a few things that you’ll probably get when you get back.
From Julia
Will be there in five
Five minutes left, you find yourself sitting in front of your vanity mirror. Making one last check, you pulled the small drawers in the table. That’s when you saw that old pearl ring Taehyung bought you in the flea market. A heavy sigh from your chest makes its way out of your lips. Holding it between your thumb and index finger, you stare at it.
We tried, didn’t we?
Before any tears can fall, you simply close your eyes. Your chest heaves. You clutched that ring in your palm for some minute, like you were giving your one last goodbye. Then, you carefully place it next to your keys. You decided to leave your keys as you don’t want to come and go here in secret as you always have the tendency to do that especially if you want to avoid a person. Like you were doing now. You want to come back here better and hopefully, talk to Taehyung in the future.
Feel at home, this house is yours too. Paint the walls with the colors you like, buy new furniture, and fill the frames with new memories. Just please don’t sell it. I’ll try to reach out as soon as I can. For now, live the last years you missed.
You wrote on a piece of paper that you left on the same table. In the weeks you two lived together after the accident, you knew how he struggled to adjust to this house. Now that you’re going, you wish for him to feel comfortable in this house you two shared and called home. The pieces of furniture and shade of blue that took over every wall in the house were picked by both you and Taehyung when you bought it. The frame kept every memory you and Taehyung love to look back on in the span of your four-year relationship. But if it means for him to feel at home, you won’t mind if he wants to change things around the house. Even though it will probably break your heart harder than it is now.
“You…”
It was only your first morning, the second day in your new apartment in Incheon when someone came knocking on your door. You were still organizing your place and unpacking when you heard continuous heavy knocks. Almost instantly, your eyes widened when you saw who it was through your door’s peephole. The person spoke again as soon as you opened your door.
“You moved?!” Jisoo immediately pushed through your door and welcomed herself in. “You moved here?!”
Based on the tone of her voice, she was more angry than surprised. Her eyebrows were scrunched together while her nose flared. Her hands were on her hips like she was waiting for an explanation. Your lips opened for a second before it closed again. You softly scratched your cheek before opening your lips again,
“I-I thought you were on your honeymoon vacation.”
She tilts her head, “Well, I’m not. Am I?”
“Why are you here?” you mumbled, sounding scared at her.
The thing is, Jisoo rarely gets angry or annoyed. You had known her ever since you began working as a nurse and you learned she have the longest patience for everyone else. But when she runs out of it, you don’t know how she will react.
“Why are you here?” she returned your question with raised eyebrows. “You did not tell me you were moving here or resigning in the hospital! What happened?”
You closed the door and quietly walked back to your messy living room since you knew she would follow. She did and continued,
“I saw the shift schedule like two hours ago and you’re not there. I had to ask Gail and she said you resigned. You were not answering my calls or messages! I had to call Julia. Then, she told me you moved here– What the fuck happened? I was only busy for like two weeks and next thing I know, my best friend’s in another city and hospital.”
You sat on your grey couch while Jisoo still stood in front of you. You looked away as your replied,
“Well, actually I’ll be working in a school–”
Jisoo’s tone went higher, “What?!”
“I applied as a school nurse–”
“No, no, no.” she shushed you. “Tell me everything that happened. Everything.”
So you did. But first, you asked her to sit down next to you. You ordered food by app as you don’t really have any stock of food at the moment. While you were waiting for the food, you began telling her about what happened. From how you met Lily to how you happened to be where you are right now. Jisoo listened intently. As you went on, you noticed her shoulders and facial expression softened up. From her jaw being clenched tight, her lips were formed into a slight frown. You tried not to cry throughout the whole story-telling impromptu but your voice did shake and you just felt your best friend’s warm hands somewhere in the middle of your story. At the end, you find yourself leaning your head on her shoulder while she leans hers on top.
“I and Joon just decided to go on honeymoon next month. Plus, I have a toaster and an air fryer in my car.” Jisoo broke the comfortable silence you two shared with a random sentence.
You lifted your head, looking at her, “What? Why?”
“We received like a ton of it from the wedding. We had to give some stuff away rather than selling it and I just knew your place is probably still empty. So I just bought some. I have plates too.” she smiled.
“But what if I was the one who gave you that toaster?” you asked, squinting your eyes.
“You did not.” she chuckled but your expression didn’t change. She blinked and asked with a feeble voice, “You did not, right?”
Your lips broke into a smile, “Yeah, we didn’t.”
She pouted before you two laughed and hugged. Just like that, you and Jisoo are okay.
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Unlike any of your past decisions, nothing was truly planned when you decided to move away. Aunty Belle, whom you visit every now and then, comforted you about it and said that life just happens like that sometimes. And that’s how your two years went. Unplanned. You just applied for the first good job you saw, which happened to be being a school nurse in a preschool. You moved to another apartment after just a few months since your initial place is farther on the subway you always take to get to the school every morning.
Working with kids, you always miss your patients back in Seoul. Particularly, Naeun, whom you are still in contact with. You visit her a couple of times when you go to Seoul.
And there were times when you thought you saw Taehyung. Not just in Seoul, but also in Incheon. The first one was just months after you left, you were on your way to preschool when you saw him in the subway. But you thought it was just a look-alike and impossible since he would not have any reason to come here. Plus, you were feeling a little down that week as it was supposedly your fifth anniversary. The next time is when you come to Seoul to visit Naeun. It was a busy Sunday and you stopped by a toy store in the mall to get a gift for your favorite patient. It was a bit crowded since it was on sale. So you lost him in the blink of an eye.
The most recent one is when you came to Seoul for Julia’s birthday. You had a few drinks with your friends and everything was already slightly blurry. But you swore you saw him when you were waiting for your Uber late at night. You were with Julia, who was waiting with you just to make sure you’d be safe. She was talking about something but your eyes caught a man walking on the other side of the road with his head down on his phone. The small light coming from his screen made you recognize him. It’s him, you’re sure.
Although you have visited the city a couple of times already, you never drop by the bakeshop or the house. You never even contacted Taehyung. There were times it crossed your mind. But you never did. You miss him. God knows, how much. But you don’t know what to say about the house, him, you, or the relationship you two had.
You and Jimin talked seldomly. The first one was a week after you and Taehyung officially went separate ways. He would ask how are you and you would do the same thing. You were surprised but happy at the same time when you learned he had a kid, who happens to be Jisoo’s nephew. You two had this unspoken rule to not talk about Taehyung because Jimin doesn’t bring him up and you are too shy to ask. But you know they are doing well, you heard they expanded the shop.
In the whole two years, Taehyung never really left your mind. It’s hard. Especially when you would still get random reminders of your relationship in unexpected ways. In what was supposed to be your fifth anniversary, you got a scheduled e-mail from his account. Every year, your phone calendar still updates you to buy him a gift a month before his birthday. And just like last month, you found an old picture in one of your bags. Something you probably slipped there long ago. It’s a picture taken years ago during your first snow in your house with a handwritten caption, TOO MORE SNOWY DAYS TOGETHER. It was in his handwriting.
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“Goodbye, Nurse YN!”
A little kid waved his little hand to you while his mom politely smiled at you. You waved back and continued walking back from your small clinic. This is how your day ends in school: tiny voices saying goodbye and sometimes giving you warm hugs. You were never really busy since you worked with two other school nurses who you became friends with. 
“Oh, hey, YN.”
You just sat in front of your computer screen, recording some student’s health records, when your co-nurse popped into your shared office. Martha just found her recent hobby a couple of months ago after you told her that you haven’t been dating for the last couple of years.
You exaggeratedly sighed and did not even look at her, “What do you want?”
“YN sounds so tired of you already.” Aileen, your other co-nurse, laughed while organizing her files.
“I know, she is.” Martha chuckled. She turns to you, “I know a guy…”
You paused from what you were doing, “Martha–” 
It’s not like you’re not interested in dating. It took you more than a year to be open again to the idea and so far, you’ve gone into two dates from Martha’s recommendations. But both were not a match. The first one is a great guy but he seems like he cannot get over an ex since he talked about her half of the time. While the second guy is just rude. That’s all you can say about him. The date was all about him not liking how the steak was cooked and how one of the waiters was too kind to you. It was horrible.
“No, no, honey. Listen to me first.” Matha cuts you off. “I personally know this guy. He’s my cousin and… he also works in the medical field! He’s a doctor.”
An eyebrow raised. A doctor? Well, you never dated one before. But you knew doctors were better than that last guy you mentioned.
Aileen joined, “Is he the one you showed me earlier?
“Yup,” Martha replied, popping the ‘p’ sound.
“Oh, you’ve got to see him, YN. The guy is gorgeous!” she exclaimed. “If you won’t date him, I will!”
The three of you laughed. Of course, Aileen can’t. She is currently seven months pregnant with her second child and married to one of the teachers in this same preschool.
“Just don’t tell Seb,” she added, mentioning her husband.
You still haven’t said anything even though you are admittedly interested. Martha pulled her phone out.
“Wait, I’ll show you his account.”
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“Oh, that dress suits you perfectly!”
Jisoo’s voice filled your room as you fixed the dress on your body. Even though you two are in different cities, she is still your go-to every time you need to dress up for something. Usually, through Facetiming. The date is fine-dining. So, you tried on different dresses for Jisoo to pick on and eventually, you two agreed on the same one.
“Don’t forget your coat! It might get cold,” she advised. “Now, turn around again!”
You giggled before doing what she said. You heard her cheer and compliments, making you smile.
“You are stunning!”
“Thank you so much for helping me, Jiji,” you said with a small smile.
“You’re welcome. Just have fun, okay? Let me know how it goes later.” she told you and you nodded. She spoke again, “Now, go! Book that Uber already.”
“Okay, okay. Bye! Call you later. Love you!” you waved.
She waved back, “Love you, take care!”
You ended the call and moved to another app to look for a ride. Your date initially asked if you wanted him to pick you up. But you just agreed to meet him at the restaurant he invited you to. He seems nice. Martha said her cousin has been single for a while now. After his last relationship, he just gave most of his time to work.
To +82 65 78** ****
Hi! I’m on my way. See you there.
You sent your date the message when you finally got in the car you booked twenty minutes ago. It did not even take a few minutes before he replied,
From +82 65 78** ****
Okay, see you there! Take care.
Pursing your lips, you look outside the window of the moving car. You hope for the best for tonight. You hope Martha’s recommendation is at least okay this time. Maybe the universe could prove to you that Taehyung is not the only guy in the world who could make the butterflies play around in your stomach. Or the only guy who would be patient enough with your tendencies. You just have to know that he is not the only guy in the world. Period.
As much as you won’t say it, dating Taehyung for four years made him your standard for everything. You already met two versions of him; one before the accident and one after the accident. They are almost the same person but the latter just brought you a lot of pain because of various circumstances. But you know and feel he shows his emotions in other ways.
“We’re here.” the female driver, whom you saw is Val, said as she stopped the car in front of the brightly lit restaurant.
You smiled before getting out of the vehicle, “Thank you.”
Starry Night lives up to its name. As you noticed before, the whole place is lit up with many lights. Carefully, you walked inside with your strappy heels. The staff smiled and greeted you, and you greeted them back.
“Good evening, madam. Welcome to Starry Night. How may I help you?”
“I have a reservation under Jung Hoseok’s name.” you politely replied.
“Oh, okay. Let me check our list. Excuse me.” the host scrolled down his iPad for a minute. “The name’s here! Please, follow me to your table. This way please.” 
You followed him while looking around the place. It’s not too crowded and it has a romantic feeling because of the lights and jazz music. You know someone who would have loved to go here. Before you sit down, the host assisted you with the chair and offered to take your coat. You agreed. Pulling out your phone from your purse, you update Hoseok that you just arrived. You put your phone down and studied the whole place again with your eyes. 
A woman caught your eye. She was talking and chatting with the chef in the side station. They looked like they were waiting for someone to enter the door. Your gaze were broke off when someone spoke from your side.
“Good evening, ma’am. My name is Soojin and I’ll be your waiter for tonight. Would you like to order something?” the young waiter smiled.
“Oh, I’m still waiting for my date…” you murmured. “But can I have some water please?”
“Certainly, ma’am. Excuse me.”
Soojin left as you said thank you. As she was gone from your sight, your eyes landed on the man who was entering the restaurant. Dressed in a nice black coat over a light blue shirt, you quickly recognize him. Your mouth runs dry while your heart beats like a horse’s footsteps in a race. You were frozen.
What is he doing he– Fuck.
Your eyes meet. You can see his eyes widening as his lips gaped slightly. His Adam’s apple bobbed up and down while you practically lost your hearing. All you can hear is the drum inside your chest.
Fuck, you cursed again.
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What are the chances for this to happen? Is the universe playing or simply fucking with you? You asked for a great date and it gave you this. The man you’ve been holding as your standard ever since. 
It burns.
His eyes. You can feel them as you take a sip from the ice-cold glass of water. After the host led him to one of the empty tables in your line, your eyes traveled everywhere except on his spot. You two were literally just an empty table apart.
Is he here for a date? Why here? In Incheon, really? Can’t he just date people from Seoul?
It has been nine minutes, you’ve been counting. Your hand rests on your knee, to stop your knees from jerking up and down, while the other rests on the table with your phone. You’ve been texting but erasing messages to Hoseok. You don’t think you can do this. With Taehyung being just a few feet away from you, it felt wrong to be with someone else. You should have been sitting right in front of him.
Slowly, you try to move your eyes in his direction. You paused when you saw that he was staring at you too, unmovable. Are you supposed to smile? Wave? Nod. just nod. You were about to do that when the same woman from the side station walked up to him, covering your view of him.
“Hi, good evening!” you heard her honey-like voice greet him. “I’m Ashley.”
You noticed Taehyung stood up. They shake hands and you don’t really hear the rest of their conversation. You began texting your date,
To +82 65 78** ****
Hi. Where are you?
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You’ve been alone for a while now.
Taehyung noticed. The glass of water on your table is almost empty. The waiter already come back to you a couple of times now. He can see you chewing on your lower lip as you check your phone every minute that passes by.
Did your date just stand you up?
His hands clutched as he thought of that idea. He knew you didn’t deserve that.
“I think this is good! Not too sweet, not too spiced. It’s soft too. Just perfect.” Ashley snapped him from his thoughts.
Taehyung tried to concentrate on what he originally meant to do here, “Yeah… uhm… Jimin, my friend, really tries to balance the texture and taste. It’s his own carrot cake recipe that he worked on before we even had the shop.”
Ashley already had a taste of every cake he brought. Five open Tupperware are on their table, including the cheesecake you love. She began talking about the other cakes and dessert while Taehyung stole some glances at you again. This time, you are on call. You pursed your lips before replying to whoever it was. He can read the disappointment through your eyes as your lips form into a small frown. You sighed before saying, it’s fine, I understand. No problem. 
“Okay, these are really good. I think your products will be a great addition to our menu.” Ashley spoke again. 
Taehyung looked at her with surprise, “Oh, wow. That’s… great.”
Did he just get this deal?
“Yeah, I trusted my chef when he said he had the best Tiramisu in your shop and I’m glad I did. These desserts are perfect and really satisfy my sweet tooth.” She compliments.
Taehyung bowed his head, “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. Your desserts deserve to be everywhere. Haven’t you guys thought of opening a branch here?” she asked.
“Oh, we’re still figuring things out. We just expanded our main shop in Seoul.” he chuckled.
“Well, I might go there when I visit Seoul.”
“Please do and let us know.” he smiled.
“I will. By the way, the contract is not ready now. But we are definitely having this deal! Can you and Jimin visit here again next week or maybe me and my head chef can visit your shop in Seoul?” Ashley offers.
“I still have to discuss that with my friend.”
“Oh, sure. Sure. Here, we are okay with any decision. Just let us know. You guys have our e-mail and numbers, right?” Taehyung nods. “Okay, I guess… that’s a done deal.”
Ashley stood up and offered her hand. Taehyung stood up too and shook her hand. 
“Thank you so much.” Taehyung smiled.
While Ashley replied, he stole another glance behind her. That’s when he sees you standing up and walking back to the host at the entrance of the restaurant. The host had an apologetic look on his face as you talked to him. He helped you with your coat. It seems like you’re leaving with your date being a no-show. 
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be rude. But I would have to go for now..” Taehyung carefully said.
Ashley smiled, “Oh, of course. Yes. You can go. But one more thing… can you leave these cakes?”
Taehyung chuckled with that, “Of course!”
“Thank you! See you in the contract signing!”
“See you.” 
Taehyung took his coat from his seat and left in a hurry. You were already gone, possibly out of the restaurant. He said thank you to the staff who opened the door for him and he immediately searched around. That’s when he sees you standing, looking down at your phone.
“This one’s just a few minutes away–”
He took a deep breath before saying, “YN?”
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RESTARTING OVER AGAIN TAGLIST [🔧🔨 ]
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lizzaneia-elizalde · 8 months
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Yandere! Male! Archpriest x gn! Penpal! Ill! Reader
OOOH I've been waiting for this guy. He's been planned ever since the start, and I finally got to write him! Enjoy the convoluted world building between him and the other yandere men of Saphiri!
BTW: Liviticus has always been one of my beloved OCs with quite the lore, so forgive me if it did get a bit too confusing hshadad he is a priest, but I am not confining him to our existing religions of modern society. So it's up to you which religion, may it be made up or not, he is serving. I think this is also the first time i'm explicitly telling the physical appearance of the yandere? I don't remember. But yeah!
Yandere! God name: Liviticus
TW: Reader has cancer, death
BE WARNED, THIS IS LONG... LIKE MY LONGEST FIC.
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Liviticus Obelia has always been a pious man.
He had everything in his life. Money, a loving family, anything he wanted, needed, and more.
With his extravagant life with his rich family, he had always thought that he should return the blessings he got to the people. But he doesn't know how though. First of all, he's an awkward man. He doesn't know how to interact that much due to being an introvert, and people avoid him quite a lot due to his Family's financial status being at the 1 percentile. Second, he had always thought that social aspects of society is not needed for people like him who is independently content with themselves.
Those words coming from the 10 year old Liviticus while sniffling from being rejected by a group of friends made his eldest sister, Koh, roll her eyes and pat him on the head, and his little sister, Kaoeia, giggle.
So, he found himself burying himself in books in the library his father owns.
Sure, there are more child friendly books there, but what got his attention was theology books about different religions.
He would religiously read all of them, immersing himself in the mythos of the gods he's reading on it. Even those of the olden and forgotten. His eyes would sparkle whenever he reads a book about them, maybe a holy scripture, and now, 15 years later, he graduated from his theology course.
Seeing as this was a good opportunity to now return the blessings he got from god, he enters the holy church of the religion of his choosing.
He takes the oath, and was quickly becoming a beloved member of the church.
With how genuine he is with helping people and "repenting" about having too much in his life, it's no wonder people and his fellow church personnel love him.
That, and his angelic looks was something that added to the his popularity.
With his long, ash golden hair that softly drapes on his shoulders like waterfalls, his eyelashes that almost looks white on his smooth skin, and his amber eyes that looks gold in the sunlight, he looks like an entity not of this world at all.
Everyone felt so compelled to rely on Liviticus. With his tall stature and strong build, added with his soft and understanding personality that will make even the most of the martyrs jealous, he exudes an almost godly energy in him.
He's genuine with helping too. He's that much of a good man.
That means, a lot of people wanted to be his romantic partner.
But when asked, he would just smile that partially blinded those who asked.
"I am not ready for that yet. I have devoted myself in serving the people right now."
Oh, how pious he is.
If they only knew.
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Liviticus, is seen as a man who is extremely devoted to the religion he's serving.
With how he is and his high rank in the church, it is no doubt that he's a man of virtue and holiness.
It was true. He is a pious man. Someone who's serving his god/s with the full extent of his efforts, heart, and soul. He's also genuine with helping people and repenting on having too much.
But Liviticus was nothing short of just putting up a facade of devotion to god/s.
In reality, he's interested in religion, sure, but not in the devoted vision. He's someone who looks at every religion as entertainment. Just like how people treat Greek Mythology as stories, he looks at all of religions like that. No matter how widespread and popular it is.
Even the religion and church he's serving is nothing more than work to him and an obligation to serve.
He treats them as mere stories that fascinated a lot of people to the point of mass fascination. Was all of these true? Did all of these stories written in the holy scriptures of the religions he studied actually happen?
If they're fictional, how did it capture the heart of a lot of people? Did the author intend for it to be so big and so... Religious? How did they feel? Was the sensational occurrence changed something in them?
And, if they're actually real...
Then,
How can he be a god himself?
In a weird twist, Liviticus was so enamored with the godly figures in the religions he read that he wants to become one.
As unreasonable as it is, he doesn't care.
He's too in his head to think rationally.
So, him serving the people went from a genuine guilt to feeling like it's an obligation, a task to become a god. After all, he wants to be the helpful type of god.
In his mind, it was a practice in order to serve his future devotees.
The reason why he wants to be one?
Well, other than being an archpriest, he was an author beforehand.
He had created a world inside his high end laptop just like how normal fantasy authors have.
But in his case, he as an author, is a character in it. Nay, an active role inside of it as if the world is real.
He had created Saphiri. A world in which there's new currencies, new languages, new magic infused technology, entities, and of such.
Every single detail is well thought out. He even had different folders for different aspects. Like the languages folder has more folders containing new words, letters, and numbers. Magic? New runes and inspired elemental systems. Currencies? He has made a vector art of the coins and cash, and how it circulates between different countries.
He's too meticulous that it was almost unbelievable.
And his proofreader and the only other person who reads his works?
It's you.
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Liviticus was rarely seen outside of the church grounds.
And if he was outside, it's usually to visit his family, or...
Liviticus sighed in content, reading the newest addition to his world. It was a person (not character. He hates that term) named Eros. He's still a child, but once he got your approval, he will work on Eros' upbringing.
The elevator dings, signaling that he reached his floor.
Once the doors opened, the smell of the sterile environment of the hospital lingers on his nose. He hears the nurses, doctors, patients and visitors alike walking and talking amongst themselves.
Thanks to his friend, who is the hospital chairperson here, Xavier allowed Liviticus to move you to one of the private suites.
You and Liviticus met when his family got a penpal for him. They saw how he's struggling with connecting to other people, and suggested penpals.
You were not that far, at least two cities away. And you're the same age as him too. That made it easier to connect with you.
Because apparently, he's shy when it comes to in person connection. He felt awkward staring into other people since he always felt a wall between them, let alone connecting with them. So, a penpal was more or less a cry of help.
And it worked amazingly. He liked you a lot since you love writing, albeit not in the theological sense like he was. You're an amazing writer, and has a keen eye when it comes to looking at plotholes. So, he regularly sends small drafts and manuscripts along with the letter with you.
You are patient with him, always treating him with kindness that he never felt from other people. Even when he's being rude and aloof, you patiently broke his walls down and now he's attached to you.
Being his only friend, he shared a lot of things to you. His desire to be god, the questions about religions, etc. He felt safe with you. You weren't judging him, and always answered his questions with a critical, neutral eye. Yet these replies still held the softness and friendliness he took comfort in.
Liviticus longed to see you in real life, but you weren't exactly as blessed financially as him. Sure, he's only two cities away, but your family didn't really want you going out and buying tickets or buying gas just to meet a penpal. He yearned to see your face finally, to see your face in real life and hold you close.
He wants you so bad that it's almost painful to breath. You were the only one who understood him. Even his family didn't understand him that much.
So, he took this yearning to another level.
Seeing that you were so nice to him, he decided to adapt your personality in real life. Gentle, kind, friendly... Someone who's easy to talk to and is incredibly patient and heartfelt. Helpful and genuine, Liviticus felt closer to you as he took your characteristics as his own. It felt like you were there with him.
And, years passed by...
Finishing his degree and finally having the time and permission of his family, he drove his newly bought car to your city just to find you.
His heart pounding, he found your address that you told him years ago, and saw you on the stairs of your home, sitting and writing something on your lap.
A letter. His letter.
He smiles and runs outside of his car to meet you, hugging you without any warning that freaked you out.
But, when you saw who he was, you grinned widely and hugged him back.
The rest is history...
But why is he in the hospital in present day, looking despondent while slapping his face to gather courage?
Two years within meeting you in real life, Liviticus regularly visited you. Spending time with you and getting to know you more in a personal level.
But, heated glances and affectionate gazes weren't lost. Both of you were two hearts beating in sync, as if the world intended the both of you to be together. It was a natural pull, and if the concept of soulmates were real, you were his, and he was yours.
A kiss on the lips on your birthday, Liviticus' mind slipped from trying to become god momentarily.
He's so happy just being by your side.
But then...
When he had to train to serve the church he chose, he had minimal contact with you. But, despite not having a label yet, he knew you would wait.
You would wait, right?
Then, one day, his phone rang. It felt weird, since it was already 3am, but he answered it.
He found himself feeling like heaven fell on him as the phone dropped to the floor, cracking the protector on it. He grabbed his coat and ran to his car to your house, almost violating road laws on the way.
You suddenly collapsed that night while trying to drink water. Your stomach felt so painful, like it was eating you inside out. You were so pale and white, and with a trembling body, you collapsed on your kitchen, being found by your mother who got startled awake.
When you were rushed to the hospital, you were found to have colon cancer.
It was almost too much for you, making you wonder what you did wrong to deserve such an ailment on your body.
And Liviticus felt like it was cruel. Too cruel.
You were so good and sweet, so why did you get such a dangerous and life threatening condition? And at such a late stage too?
Then and there, Liviticus truly questioned everything.
If god/the gods is/are real, then why were you being tested like this? You didn't do anything bad at all. You can't hurt a fly, so why hurt you?
Is this punishment due to him questioning their existence? Is this a cruel revenge due to him being preposterous and daring to be god? Is this an unfair judgement on a person that has nothing to do with him being unholy?
He might as well be swallowed by hell than seeing you cry your eyes out with such painful wails of agony.
He forced insisted on footing the bill. You and your family were adamant, but he insisted. His family was willing too, seeing as they had the money to spend and that you were also loved by them. And, you were transferred to his city to monitor you closely and closer to the best doctors out there.
He regularly visited you, always making sure to treat you like usual. Reading manuscripts and making you judge them. He tried to be cheerful. He really did.
But, seeing you getting weaker and weaker everyday was painful. You looked tired, but still carried a smile to comfort him as he kisses your hand.
And everyday, he got more and more desperate praying to gods to forgive him for being preposterous. He wants you to be healed, or even just transfer the sickness to him.
Anything at all.
He did all of these good things, and forgot his want to be god, just to appease those up above.
Suddenly, he became religious.
But it was not enough.
He numbly stands outside your door. The doctors and nurses were desperately trying to wake you up. But your limp body didn't respond at all.
You were dead.
Everything became a blur to him.
One thing, he's calling your family, then him consoling them, his family consoling him, then picking your coffin, and then now he's leading the funeral, blessing your coffin as you got buried in a mausoleum.
He only snapped out of his trance when he's kneeling in front of your grave, in the dead of the night, with only the moon and candles illuminating him. The wind was still, so was the night. It's as if letting him snap out of his mind.
His lips trembled, and in his priest garments, he shuffled close to your grave and hugged it, tears silently streamed down his face as he cried without a noise.
Everything felt so... Dull.
He did everything for the gods to forgive him, but they didn't. If they were real, then they would see his repentance, right?
But now, all he could do is weep. His heart torn apart as it got buried alongside you.
If you wish, he wants to be buried along you too.
Then, anger came.
Why can't they see it? Why can't they see that he's doing his best for them to forgive him? Why were you dead? You were innocent in all of this! You were only indulging his sins and was not directly mocking them! Is this his punishment? To break his heart this greatly?!
Is it not enough to shatter him, but you too?!
You had so much to live for! You were an excellent writer, and had plans to publish your book!
And...
"I.. I didn't even get to court you properly..." He wept, shakily taking a breath.
He pressed his sweaty forehead on your picture, tears still silently falling as he placed a chaste kiss on your face.
He got home that night, and left an email to the church that he's quitting.
He can't kept pretending to be okay.
Rotting in his bed on the days passed, he wished and longed to be in your arms again. To touch you, feel you once more.
Maybe, it will be a good idea to do something to distract him. You won't like it seeing him so miserable, and he needed to make you proud even if you were in the afterlife.
Trudging to his desk, his once Luscious ash blonde hair was dull, and his white eyelashes were permanently wet. His amber eyes dark and lost of sheen, he looked at the Saphiri folder in front of him before opening another document.
With shaky hands, he finally wrote his document. His role as god in that world.
He wrote in which he's someone who desired to be god to entertain his lover, y/n. He created this world solely for you, and just you. He wrote that he came from a world called Earth, and that is ascension to godhood was to see if he can meet you again. He wrote that he got transmigrated to this world, and had the godly powers like a worldbuilding author. And that he had more than enough power to pull your soul back to life in that world.
He finished writing by 4am, and he got to his bed with a small smile on his face.
Not knowing that what he wrote birthed to a world where he's ascended to godhood.
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When he woke up, he's in an endless void of an opal sheen, and he was floating in the middle of it.
His heart pounded, looking down at his outfit.
A white cloth draped over him to look like a robe, and a gold anklet.
"Where am I?"
The void in front of him rippled, and he flinched before gasping.
A tear in front of him appeared, and it was overlooking a planet so green and blue, like earth but different...
Somehow, this felt natural.
He raised his hand and tried to "zoom in". And just as expected, the "screen" zoomed in, making him look over what seems like an old England inspired Empire, but he can see differences.
Magic.
In awe, he looked and watched as people and different types of creatures, familiar and new interacted with one another. He's beginning to be entertained until he heard the newspaper boy yell.
"Saphiri news! Saphiri news! The Crown Prince Yuno had a scandal! A mistress? What happens to his fiancee?!"
Saphiri?
His heart pounded as he tried to do something more.
"F-find Duke Eros."
And, in command, the screen flew up high and went to a majestic chateau.
There was a man, also in early 20's, talking with his soldiers with a frown on his face.
It is Saphiri. His creation.
He stumbled back, but only got to sit in a chair that materialized behind him.
"Oh god..." He muttered, eyes wide with disbelief.
He did it. Godhood.
He became a god.
Not just any god, but the god of his own world.
He scoffs in disbelief, still in shock as he slowly internalized what's happening.
"No way..." He smirks, a bit excited, before remembering where the hell he was.
"Shit... Um, home?"
And indeed, another rip in the void happened. There's his room, just outside of the rip.
This was surreal.
He closed the void by running his hand down on the void.
He tried to remember what happened, but all he could remember now was...
"Y/n."
He gulped. He remembered writing down that he should have enough power to make you alive here.
So, he closed his eyes and puts his hand forward.
"Y/n, come back to my arms, please."
And slowly, light sprites danced around him, making his eyes shot up and look in wonder as it, your feet, materialized in front of him.
In an agonizing speed that drained his energy, he focused on bringing your soul to him. Sweat trickled his forehead as you appeared slowly, bit by bit.
And once you fully materialized, you fell down, making Liviticus catch you.
He caught the familiar whiff of the cologne you use, before you got admitted to the hospital. Your being overwhelmed his senses, as he found himself crying again.
"Y/-y/n?" He whispered, making you stir.
Oh god...
"Liviticus?" You whispered, eyes slowly blinking open.
He desperately hugged you tighter, sobbing loudly on your neck.
He missed you so bad.
"You're alive! Oh god you're alive..." He painfully said out, the hiccups making him seem like a lost child.
You were also in disbelief. You swore you died, but here you are, hugging Liviticus in a weird white robe. You wanted to question everything, but seeing Liviticus cry in your arms was enough to make you shut up and just sooth him, smiling and grateful to be alive. You weren't in pain anymore, and that's enough.
Liviticus explained the situation to you, and you were amazed. He became a god? And he revived you?
You felt so flustered and grateful once more. If it weren't for him, you're still dead. And, even if you were dead, you didn't get to thank him when he took care of you back in earth.
Speaking of, you tried to go back to Earth, but it's as if a barrier was placed when you tried to enter the rip. But you were satisfied here already, in this void with him.
Slowly, the void got filled with a small pocket dimension only the both of you knew. A light blue sky with a night and day cycle, cute creatures that both of you wrote about now came to life, a valley filled with familiar and new flora, and a small, cozy house on top of a hill.
It's as if you were watching a movie as you watch him affect Saphiri. He pulled a person from Earth and made him appear on the throne of the Emperor. He became Aeron.
You were shocked at the twists when Aeron became a Demon King, and be obsessed with his darling.
You also got invested in the love story of Duke Eros and his darling. The way both him and her curbstomped the shitty crown prince Yuno was amazing, and it made you hoot and holler like you're watching a soap opera.
And Callisto.
The fact that Liviticus made Callisto self aware was a twist you didn't expect, and after sending Callisto back, you tackled Liviticus and gushed about how insane it was.
Liviticus grinned, hugging you back and kissing your forehead.
He loves seeing you so happy and entertained.
But that's the thing.
Now, he's the one treating the world he created as if it was still a document on his computer. Forgetting they're real people that had lives of their own. And not just mere characters on paper.
He became the thing he detested back then.
Foolish gods who're just blindly putting unjust punishments for their own good, entertainment, or want.
Thousands of lives under this god who only has one goal, and it's to entertain naive you, who also shared his outlook that these people, this world is just something that they can mess with.
But who cares?
Liviticus is god.
And you were his deity, his soulmate.
You want to ruin Saphiri? Sure. Why not. Want it prosper? He'll do it.
The world is putty in his hands, and he's putty in yours.
So who is really in charge here?
But all you should know is that this omnipresent being is at your beck and call, so pull him closely. You don't know what he won't do for you.
Yandere! Male! Omnipresent! God x Reincarnated! Deity! gn! Reader
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bluespiritshonour · 9 months
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Oh my God!
I just caught up with World's Finest: Teen Titans and I absolutely have to write this out:
First of all, I love this cover:
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The thing that caught my eye: “you're grounded.”
Not the dramatic “you're fired” as if the motherfucker didn't raise that damn kid in his own damn house for YEARS.
(I know. I know. Bar on the ground, but what would you?)
Also, the anger palpable on Bruce's face and Dick's absolute disregard for it. I'm laughing here y'all. This is what teenagers act like. This is what fights between parents and children look like.
Also. Dick Grayson, I've been missing. You're back from war!
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I love how curt he is. The “Get lost” hits in all the right places. We love a strongly-principled character that stands for what he believes in. With all the lukewarm Dick Grayson writing floating around I felt like walking into a coffee shop while it's snowing outside.
More of this writing, please.
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I'd been waiting for this moment all through this series.
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This conversation.
I compare things all the time. It might not be the right thing in every field but I think it serves well when it comes to comic books. We all have personal “canon criteria”—for example, mine are “Darwyn Cooke wrote this Bruce so I'm taking it as valid characterisation ” or “Every version of Bruce played by Kevin Conroy is valid”. (Minus Bruce Timm bullshit!)
Which was what cinched my hatred for Bruce after reading a Robin short story that Cooke wrote and alluded to Robin: Year One in it. I mean, I might not fuck with Dixon, but am I going to call even Cooke's Bruce OOC? No. It means Bruce is a jerk. Full stop.
Waid is one of the writers I respect (excluding Kingdom Come. I hate it and I can't put my finger on the why. But I just do: I hate it. I hate it for Clark. I hate it for Diana. And I'm a professional Bruce-hater so let's not even go there. I hate it for Dick too.)
And Dick and Bruce's relationship has a lot of baggage from the fact that a) Bruce is himself traumatised and fails to meet Dick's emotional needs b) he wasn't ready to be a father when he adopted Dick c) Dick simply suffers from being the eldest—the test child.
And very rarely have I seen writers manage to walk on the thin line of complicated-but-dedicated-and-strong.
Young Justice cartoon did it. Dick and Bruce's relationship is going strong. But they fight and have different values. And Dick can see all that is wrong with Bruce's approach to vigilantism in particular and life in general.
Grimm (Legends of the Dark Knight #149-154) did it right. Where Bruce hurt Dick deeply and made him feel unwanted all the while overthinking about Dick's well-being. Way to go, buddy! You can see the repercussions it has for Dick while simultaneously stare at this man who's tying himself into knots trying to think how best to parent.
I think that's what most Bruce and Dick comics miss: the excessive worrying. They don't show the worry, make them fight for drama, never address it apart from throwing out a “it's because Bruce's worried” (bitch, where?) and have Dick running back to Gotham at the first chance. It sounds an awful lot like “your parents hurt you 'cause they love you” bullshit.
I think World's Finest manages it well because foremost, Bruce says, in words, that he's worried about Dick's well-being. He's taciturn, he's putting constant pressure on Dick all in the hopes of making him quit Titans. All this makes him a jerk. But I don't hate him for it.
It's between Dick's “you don't trust me” and Bruce's “no, I don't trust them.”
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Most teenagers clash with their parents. It's normal. That's what Waid has shown here and I love it. It feels very—normal?
Especially when the Bats aren't normal! Bruce sure as fuck ain't a normal parent. But there was something very bitter-sweet coming-of-age in this conversation.
Bruce does all those things that are bad for Dick and his growing independence. You're not supposed to handle teenagers like that.
He's worried and taking desperate measures. “If I punish him, then maybe he'll obey me and quit Titans and then he'll he safe”—lots of parents who don't know how to deal with teenagers do it.
But the sequence of it: Bruce is worried → Bruce wants Dick to quit Titans → for Dick it means proving himself to be better, to not get hurt (as if he can control that beyond a certain point) → Bruce being alarmed at Dick's insistence to stay with the Titans and taking desperate measures like benching him.
At least it makes sense.
Compare it to Dixon's Nightwing origin story, which honestly, personally I think was lazy writing. Drama for drama's sake. “You’re fired because you're spending too much time with the Titans.” The same writer also had Bruce say that he did it because he wanted Dick to strike out on his own. Blah, blah, blah.
And no matter whatever happens he'd never ever say it to Dick's face that he's worried about him because—well, reasons.
Robin: Year One logic:
I'm worried about Dick's health so I fire him. He runs off and can get hurt? He joins a school for assasins? None of my business. He can get hurt on his own, I don't care as long as it is not on my conscience. Peace.
—Bruce “professional narcissist” Wayne.
So, yes. When faced with this book(WF: TT), I'd call Dixon's writing lazy.
I'm also comparing this to several other instances when Bruce verbally says (never to Dick, mind you) that he loves that Dick's a better person and better vigilante than him. But in the same book he'd yell at Dick for exactly the same thing. (I consider that lazy writing, since BTAS made sure to show a shot of Bruce smiling whenever Dick was happy/not like him).
I like this thing here where he says it to Dick's face. He's still grounding him for “discipline's sake” or whatever—very, very IC for Bruce.
But he also lets Dick know that he appreciates his values, that are different—better—than Bruce's own.
I can stomach that.
Honestly Bruce's writing in this book felt like BtAS writing (pre-Bruce Timm fuckery). That's a compliment.
P.S. Waid's a good story-teller overall. His Superman: Birthright was one of the first Superman comics I read and I fell in love with Clark right away.
Peace ✌️😂
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hikaaa-bi · 10 months
Text
whenever someone says they dislike huntlow, the usual comeback from toxic huntlow fans is that “you're a misogynist and you don't want to see the woman in a relationship being stronger”. so i want to address this issue today. is huntlow bad only because willow is stronger than hunter and isn't a damsel in distress?
in my opinion, absolutely not. that's not the case. i myself am a fan of subverted tropes and relationships where the woman isn't just a passive damsel with no personality. i like seeing independent women and i like seeing men being vulnerable for once.
to demonstrate my point on why huntlow doesn't pull off this trope well, let me compare it to a ship with a similar dynamic: sokka and suki from avatar the last airbender.
let's go through each of the reasons why sukka works as a ship where huntlow fails.
1. Does it make sense for the characters?
the first question here is: do the roles of the strong independent woman and weaker man suit these characters?
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sokka was introduced as.. just a guy. he was a regular teenager who wasn't trained in combat. he could fight well enough if he wanted to and being the only man in a village full of mostly children and elders, he was the best warrior in his village (if we are even to believe his claims in s1, that is).
suki, on the other hand, was a trained warrior. she had spent her whole life training in combat and fighting to continue kyoshi's legacy. in her very first appearance, suki is confirmed to be a skilled warrior who is much stronger than sokka.
this setup makes perfect sense. it wouldn't come as a surprise later on that suki is stronger or a better fighter than sokka, and would have to rescue him or help him out in a moment of crisis.
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now let's come to huntlow. in s2, hunter is introduced as the emperor's right-hand man who is young but powerful. while most of his intimidation factor came from his artificial staff, it was clear that he was not an amateur and had decent combat skills.
this assumption is only solidified when we see him go head to head with amity, only losing because 1. he was using a new staff 2. he was sleep deprived and 3. he was in an extremely erratic emotional state.
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willow, on the other hand, was the sokka in this relationship. she was a regular teenager who grew up in a normal family and went to a regular magic high school.
she was certainly incredibly skilled in plant magic but she was not a trained child soldier like hunter. she had a lot of potential to be a good fighter but she had only recieved the education that every other student had recieved. not to mention, most of her stronger magic came from her emotional outbursts.
so.. does the whole girlboss-malewife dynamic work with huntlow? no. it really doesn't. even if willow trained and grew as a witch, there's no reason why she should be stronger and more skilled in combat than hunter, who had to pass seemingly impossible trials in order to qualify as the golden guard. especially since after the first half of s2, hunter was not only weaker than willow but just weak in general.
i get it, he doesn't have natural magic like the others. but he was still shown to be a very competent fighter. he was also shown to be cunning and strategic, being able to find a way out of any situation if he wanted to. but after joining the hexsquad, he is dumbed down to willow's shy and pathetic boyfriend, who doesn't really do much on his own.
2. are they in character when in a relationship?
when writing a relationship, this is really important. if you write a relationship where one or both characters have to act wildly out of character to make sense for the relationship to happen, those characters are not compatible. it's like when your friend acts uncomfortably different around their crush or partner.
let's start with sokka and suki.
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sokka is goofy, cynical and quick-witted, with or without suki. his relationship with suki doesn't drastically change his character, but it does improve it. suki helps sokka change his misogynistic worldviews and respect women, but apart from that necessary improvement, sokka is still the same. he is not out of character when he is with suki.
as for suki herself, we don't see a lot of her away from sokka but it's still safe to assume that she is being herself around sokka. she is not forced into a new role in order to be in a relationship with sokka. the times we do see her on her own, she is pretty much the same rational, independent and nonchalant person that she is around sokka.
and yet, both of them have incredible chemistry and very clearly care for each other. it's not one-sided and it doesn't feel unnatural.
but huntlow?
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hunter is introduced as a sarcastic and bratty but deeply traumatized teenager. he is quick to start a banter with whoever he is with, he tends to talk too much, and he generally has a nonchalant attitude to cover up with trauma.
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but with willow? hunter is not just shy or awkward around her, he is a completely different person. i can understand that being attracted to a person can make you act strangely sometimes. but with hunter, that awkwardness never fades away. he is always blushing around her, he is often portrayed as pathetic and helpless, and constantly needing willow's support and guidance.
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as for willow, she is introduced as this insecure and good-natured teenager. after her confrontation with amity, willow is pushed to the back for a while. all we know about her at that time is that she's the supportive mom friend of the group. she builds her confidence after a while but she is still shown as a kind person who doesn't use force on someone else, unless necessary.
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but with hunter? willow is suddenly not just confident but also dominant and forceful. she basically snatches him from the sky and drags him to the ground, just to invite him to her flyer derby team. hunter is practically terrified at this point, but it's played off as a fun cute-meet. later, when hunter wants to leave the team for understandable reasons, instead of respecting his wishes, willow once again forces him to join her again.
i wouldn't call willow toxic or abusive, because she isn't. but i would say that she didn't respect hunter's boundaries in the slightest. she doesn't treat anyone else the way she treats hunter. she's not exactly mean to him but she also does not seem to respect him as an individual. again, she is written wildly out of character just so that she could fulfil the role of the “powerful girlboss” in the relationship. and it doesn't help that a dominant and forceful figure is the last thing hunter needs, considering how he was controlled and abused by his uncle his whole life.
3. Equality
it is my opinion that in a relationship, both individuals should play an important role. and they should balance each other out, instead of clashing with each other. it doesn't necessarily have to be an “opposites attract” situation, they just need to have qualities that brings a balance to the relationship.
in sokka's and suki's relationship, we've already established that suki is the brawn. she's the trained warrior and her agility, skill and speed are her strengths. sokka, on the other hand, is the brains. suki is still a rational and smart person but sokka is the strategist, the “idea guy”.
here, there's a balance. neither sokka nor suki are weak or incompetent, they're just skilled in different areas.
but when it comes to huntlow, willow is the brawn while hunter.. does close to nothing. after meeting willow, he's basically useless. the most impactful thing he does is stand up against belos in “Thanks to Them” and rescue willow from a short fall in the next episode. otherwise, he is mostly pushed to the back despite, again, having a personality and his own strengths prior to meeting willow. the problem here isn't that hunter shouldn't be weak or vulnerable, but rather that he is forced into the damsel role when it goes against his original character.
4. Screentime, interaction and development
one thing that huntlow and sukka had in common is neither ship had too much screentime together. suki wasn't officially part of the gaang until s3 and before that, she just gets two interactions with sokka. but these interactions were used to their fullest potential.
when they first meet each other, sokka and suki do not get along well. sokka was convinced that women aren't good warriors and his pride is hurt by the fact that suki is stronger than him, while suki is understandably put off by sokka's misogynistic and condescending attitude. after he tries to teach her how to fight and is consequently defeated by her, sokka rethinks his worldview. he goes back to suki and asks her to teach him how to fight, apologizing and admitting his mistake. suki agrees to teach him and through this, they bond. it is revealed at the end of the episode that both sokka and suki may or may not have a thing for each other. afterwards, sokka has to leave and suki has to stay behind.
their next meeting is a lot more brief but even here, we see a clear demonstration of their dynamic. sokka is overjoyed to see suki but he still hasn't moved on from yue, so when suki confesses to him and tries to initiate a kiss, sokka rejects her. suki apologizes to him later for what happened, and sokka kisses her as a confirmation that he has now moved on and likes her back. we see a clear respect of boundaries and personal choices from both sides.
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finally, after suki is captured by azula, sokka frees her and they are reunited again until the end. at this point, they're basically a couple. there's no more awkward blushing or stuttering; they're just a pair of teenagers who are in love with each other. they have a bit of playful banter and they're very casual and comfortable around each other.
suki was originally supposed to be a one-time character so it's incredible that they pulled off on the best ships in atla with her and sokka. their chemistry was undeniable from the beginning, and the writers knew how to expand on it.
now let's come to huntlow. hunter and willow meet each other for the first time in the s2b episode ‘Any Sport in a Storm’. willow is looking for candidates to join her flyer derby team and she sees hunter flying on his palisman. completely unprovoked, the willow who normally never attacked or forced something on people for no reason, decides that the best way to scout this random guy she doesn't know is by encasing him in vines and dragging him to the ground, destroying the concrete in the process. this may have been portrayed as something of a slapstick comedy, but that kind of humor never stuck with me.
after willow explains herself to hunter, he agrees to join her team, thinking it would be an easy way to recruit students into the emperor's coven. fast forward, they get a few members to their group.
hunter notices that all of these members are visibly slacking off and gets discouraged. he turns to leave and willow stops him in his tracks. when she tells him to give them a chance, hunter ‘opens up’ to her a little, by telling her that he had to earn chances, especially as a “half a witch”. this comes out of nowhere because we never see hunter being referred to as half a witch by anyone prior to this. there were certainly characters who disliked him, like lilith and kikimora, but they called him names like “golden brat”. in fact, it's not even clear if anyone other than hunter and belos knows that he has no magic. the whole half a witch line was added so that hunter and willow would have something in common.
willow, instead of reasoning with hunter or respecting his choice to leave, drags him to the ground once again and seemingly teleports him back to the flyer derby team. while this may not have been done with malicious intent, it was still another instance of willow invading hunter's boundaries and forcing him to do something.
hunter is convinced that the team is, in fact, competent. he plays the game with them and has fun doing it. after getting the team captured to join the emperor's coven and saving them from darius, the episode ends with darius turning out to be the good guy and hunter getting a penstagram (or whatever they call it, i forgot).
after this, the huntlow scenes are very scarce. we barely see them interact, especially not alone with each other. in the next episode, we see willow standing up for hunter and hunter blushing and recognizing that the fake willow isn't willow. while this would be sweet for an already established couple, since hunter and willow barely had a bond at this point, it just comes off as hunter being observant. which is somewhat in character for him.
afterwards, there's just a sprinkle of this ship, most of it consisting of hunter being shy and nervous around willow. and willow treating him like she treats everyone else. there's no sign of willow liking hunter back until literally the episode before the finale. where, instead of focusing on hunter's recent trauma with being possessed by his abusive parent and losing his best friend, the show decides to focus on willow's issues instead. of course willow deserves her own arc, but she already got it back in s1. there was no reason to give her ANOTHER issue to work on, just so that hunter can comfort her and give her a reason to like him back.
overall, it was really forced and these two characters never had the kind of natural chemistry that sokka and suki did. their interactions were either awkward or surface-level wholesome. we get exactly two (2) episodes where they interact properly and even that isn't done well. it just feels like these characters were pushed into a ship dynamic that they didn't naturally fit into.
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