#I also forgot to put on my veil | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

faetima · 5 months

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𝐚𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐞. .

. . one day you receive an odd text from an unknown number. you try blocking the number, but it doesn’t work.

oh well, it’s probably just someone pranking you.

right?

// tws ; lil bit of cursing, stalking ; gn reader ; modern au, yandere au

a/n: sorry for the weird formatting!! tumblr wouldn't let me format it correctly :(

also sorry for the random bigger text, it keeps changing random letters and numbers to be bigger for some reason??

𝗣𝗟𝗔𝗬𝗟𝗜𝗦𝗧.

aconties — symbolize hatred and that you should be cautious.

aconite - veil

always forever - cults

jealous girl - lana del rey

suki suki daisuki - jun togawa

yes or yes - twice

saccharine - jazmin bean

stalker’s tango - autoheart

an unhealthy obsession - tbrso

candy coated suicide - night club

i wanna be your boyfriend - hot freaks

i’m a slave 4 u - jazmin bean

the red means i love you - madds buckley

body - mother mother

red lights - bang chan, hyunjin

playlist <3

𝟭.‎‎‎‎‎

‎‎‎unknown number has started a chat !

18:12 december 12th, 2024

unknown number

hello, my aconite. :)

you

who is this?

unknown number

oh, dont worry about that.

youll know very soon, my beloved aconite. <3

read 18:20

you have blocked unknown number !

…

your block was unsuccessful ! please try again later .

𝟮.

‎‎‎unknown number has started a chat !

13:27 december 13th, 2024

unknown number

hello, my aconite!

how was your day today?

sent 13:27

unknown number

hello?

sent 16:43

unknown number

please reply. i know youre online, aconite.

you

please stop

who is this??

unknown number

i told you before !

haha, my aconite is so silly. never remembers anything.

like your math homework yesterday, hm? completely forgot to do it!

so cute.<3

read 17:38

you have blocked unknown number !

…

your block was unsuccessful ! please try again later .

𝟯.

‎‎‎unknown number has started a chat !

12:12 december 14th, 2024

unknown number

who is that boy?

you

unknown number

the one sitting across from you.

he keeps looking at you.

he keeps touching you. its pissing me off.

who is he?

you

he’s my friend

unknown number

sure.

well see how long that lasts. :)

read 12:48

you looked up from your phone, glancing towards bennett, and then around the small cafeteria which was packed with people, a shiver running down your spine.

whoever was texting you was here, and they were watching you.

𝟰.

‎‎‎unknown number has started a chat !

12:58 december 17th, 2024

unknown number

my beloved aconite, arent you supposed to be in class rigjt now?

right ***

ignore that.

and, most importantly, arent you supposed to be paying attention?

come on darling, on your phone in the one class i so happen to be in?

you can do this in chemistry or something. dont do it just when i so happen to be near you. i know for a fact you dont do this in any other class.

anyways, see you later ❤️❤️

read 13:02

𝟱.

you have started a chat !

09:27 december 18th, 2024

you

BENNETT

HELP KE

benny

Huh? Wht happened? R u ok?

you

THERE’S THIS GHY

OR GIRL I DON’T KNOW

AND I THINK HE’S STALKING ME OR SOMETHING

benny

Huh?? Wdym?

you

OKAY I DON’T KNOW IF HE’S STALKING ME

BUT HE’S GIVING ME REALLY FREAKY VIBES

HE KEEPS TEXTING ME

AND HE SAW ME TALKING TO YOU

AND THEN HE ASKED ABT THAT

AND HE WAS LIKE “HE WON’T BE YOUR FRIEND FOR LONG 🙂”

AND AND AND

APPARENTLY HE’S IN MY MATH CLASS???

AND HE SAW ME ON MY PHONE

JND TEHN HE TEXTED ME AND SCOLED ME

HELP WHAT DO I DO

benny

Just block him

you

I TRIED

IT’S NOT WORKING??

benny

Well I dont think u can do anything abt it besides that

Bc u dont hv any proof that he has any malicious intent

So uhm maybe just ignore him

Maybe hes just trolling u

you

yeah

maybe

read 10:01

you let out a sigh, putting your phone face down and burying your face in your arms.

what could you even do at this point? you didn’t have any proof they had any bad intent, and you couldn’t block them.

this whole situation was starting to freak you out. it didn’t help that you were pretty emotional and easily scared.

maybe you should look on the positive side. hey, someone finally has a crush on you!

you swallowed hard, breathing rapidly, heart racing. you buried your face deeper in your arms, scared of what was to come from this whole situation.

𝟲.

you exhaled shakily, a small fog appearing from it. you were shivering, the outside cold pinpricking your skin like tiny needles.

choosing fashion over warmth probably hadn’t been a good idea, but who cared? you liked dressing up. it was worth sacrificing your comfort for something you enjoyed! plus you would’ve been cold either way. it would be heated enough in the classroom anyway.

at least you hoped it would be.

you walked at moderately fast pace to your school, putting in your earbuds. you scrolled down your playlist on spotify, finally finding the song you had been craving to listen to. you clicked the play button on it, refraining from humming along to it.

you found yourself repeatedly glancing behind yourself, even though each time you looked no one was there. every time there was even the slightest of rustling able to penetrate through the sound of the music you were listening to, you’d jump, paranoid.

ever since you had received the first message, you had been on edge, and for good reason. this whole situation was extremely different from what you experienced in your day to day life.

before this, you hadn’t even known of anyone liking you romantically. it wasn’t that everyone hated you or something, you were just pretty shy, which led others to socialize with and notice you less.

a lot less.

it was a bit disappointing, but at least you had a few friends.

you had been lost in your train of thought too long. as you walked forward mindlessly, you hadn’t noticed a figure also walking in front of you.

you crashed into the person and staggered a little before regaining your balance.

luckily the person didn’t fall or anything, but instead stood rigid like a stone wall.

you gasped out a few apologizes, repeatedly saying “sorry”.

but you immediately shut up when the person turned around and when electric purple eyes met your own.

you swallowed hard, freezing as the person scowled at you.

𝟳.

“watch where you’re going,” the person muttered, still scowling at you. her loosely braided hair—a shade of bright purple, similar to that of an aconite, with some lighter purple highlights within it—fell down the front of her shoulder, and she pushed it back. the motion itself was filled with pure elegance and grace.

”i- uhm, sorry,” you mumbled, your neck getting hotter as you lowered your head a little in shame.

the girl rolled her eyes.

even that was full of daintiness and fluidity.

she sighed the slightest bit, seeming to soften a little.

”it’s fine, i guess. just watch where you’re going in the future.”

she mumbled those words quickly before turning and walking away briskly, pulling out her phone and rapidly texting someone whilst walking.

the sharp clicking of her heels was the only thing heard in the crisp and cold morning air.

suddenly, your phone buzzed. you took it out, hands trembling the tiniest bit.

‎‎‎unknown number has started a chat !

07:54 december 19th, 2024

unknown number

where are you?

youre in class by this time.

read 07:54

unknown number

answer me.

read 08:01

unknown number

stop fucking leaving me on read.

read 08:04

you have blocked unknown number !

…

your block was successful !

𝟴.

22:39 december 20th, 2024

unknown number

youre going to regret this so, so much my pretty aconite.

im going to pick all your petals off.

one

one. <3

your message was not able to be sent ! you may have been blocked by the recipient . if not, please try again later . if the problem persists, please contact customer support .

𝟵.

a few days had passed since you had blocked the number.

now you sat in class, chin placed in the palm of your arm. you felt eerily drowsy, but knew it was just because of how bored you were. the teacher droned on and on about some sort of math formula. you didn’t bother listening, knowing it would only make your head hurt if you tried to understand what was going on.

you were snapped out of your sleepy daze when the teacher said something about a “group project”. she said there would be groups of three or four, and that groups would be predetermined, but you could request to be put in a group with someone else.

the person sitting in front of you passed you the slip to request to be put into a group with someone.

you passed it to the person behind you after realizing what the slip was for.

you just had to be assigned a group project in the class you had no friends in. it could’ve been in literally any other class, but no, instead it was in the class where you barley knew anyone.

you didn’t put anyone on the slip because you barley knew anyone in the class, and the people you knew probably were already going to put someone else on the paper.

you put your head down in your arms, closing your eyes, listening to the erratic chatter around you.

what you didn’t notice was that, on the slip, someone had already put your name down alongside theirs.

𝟭𝟬.

you sighed softly, finally done with school for the day. you opened the door to your house, and were hit by the strong and unmistakable aroma of your favorite meal.

you stepped into your house, closing the door quietly and setting your backpack down. you greeted your mom, who greeted you back. she stood in the kitchen, cooking your favorite meal.

”can you go to the store for me? i need salt for this, but we ran out,” your mom stated, gesturing towards what she was cooking.

you nodded silently, turning to leave. you opened the door, closed it, and started walking to the store.

upon entering, you couldn’t help but notice how empty it was. usually there were at least a few other people, but right now you could only spot around four.

you walked around the store but, even after ten minutes of sauntering around, couldn’t find the salt for some reason. maybe you were going blind or something.

you decided to ask an employee, timidly walking up to one and tapping him on the shoulder.

he turned around, bright purple eyes meeting your own. a scowl, which didn’t quite seem to fit him, adorned his pretty face. his hair was a dull shade of purple, and light wispy bangs fell on his forehead. his skin was extremely clear and pale like porcelain, and looked as if it could shatter any second. the resemblance to a doll he bore was uncanny.

”what?” he snapped, glaring at you through his bangs.

”uhm, sorry to bother you, but, uh, do you.. do you know where the salt is?” you asked, fidgeting a little with your fingers.

he let out a long, deep sigh.

”yes. follow me,” he muttered, already walking towards the isle.

you followed in suit.

𝟭𝟭.

tentatively, you looked up from your hands to see who was in your group.

the first person you laid your eyes upon was a girl with light blue hair tied into an elegant and sleek ponytail with a black ribbon with golden streaks. she had a small beauty mark under one of her eyes, which were a pale shade of blue, matching her hair.

sitting beside her was a guy who was a bit taller than her. he had green eyes and messy honey-yellow hair that was tied into a ponytail with a scarlet red ribbon.

you moved your gaze to the last person.

he seemed oddly familiar, like you had seen him somewhere before. you couldn’t quite remember where though, maybe at park or store?

he had feathery bangs which fell down his forehead in a almost perfect matter. his hair itself seemed to be styled in a jellyfish cut of sorts, and was a dim shade of lavender. his eyes matched the color of his hair, and were narrowed to form a scowl on his pretty face. his skin was eerily pale, almost like porcelain.

the boy who you were just looking at let out what seemed to be an annoyed sigh, crossing his arms and rolling his eyes at something.

the blonde boy spoke up first.

”so, uhm.. hi. i’m thoma.”

following in suit, you all said your names after him.

thoma spoke again.

”do you guys have a phone number or something we can use to contact each other with for the project? i already have ayaka’s, so i just need you boths’.”

scaramouche shook his head.

”i don’t have access to my phone right now,” he muttered, still scowling

”oh.”

”we, uhm, we can use instagram or something to message each other?” you said, the slightest hint of nervousness lacing your voice.

”sure,” ayaka said.

scaramouche and thoma nodded in agreement.

you all wrote down your usernames on a piece of paper.

once you got home, you took out your phone, typing all their usernames into the search bar and following them one by one. after doing so, you added them all to a group chat.

𝟭𝟮.

you have started a chat !

18:12 december 27th, 2024

you

@.lookingforthoma

Hello.

@.hidingfromayaka

🤑

@.flowers4sc4ra

hi. ig.

@.hidingfromayaka

LMAOO WHY IS UR USERNAME THAT

UR ALWAYS SO EMO BUT NOW

”FLOWERS4SC4RA”

LMOA LMOA

@.flowers4sc4ra

shut the fuck up.

you

pls stop

@.flowers4sc4ra

sorry. ig.

@.hidingfromayaka

OMFG

HE KIST

USYT

JUST

SAID SORRY

TO U

SHEJSHWJAHAAKAKWK

you

okay anyway

there’s two parts on the project

i was thinking we could split up into teams of two and then each do one part or smth?

idk man 😭😭

@.lookingforthoma

That sounds good.

@.flowers4sc4ra

ok.

@.hidingfromayaka

i call dibs on working with ayaka 😛😛

1 user disliked

𝟭𝟯.

you stood in front of his house’s door, rocking back onto your heels and then up onto your toes, nervous. you clutched the bag you were holding—of which was filled with notebooks and various school supplies.

you were anxious, waiting for scaramouche to answer the door. it had only been a minute, but to you it felt like ten.

you couldn’t shake the feeling that something bad was going to happen. you didn’t know why or how or when or where, just that you had a bad gut feeling.

but you shook it off, knowing you had to work on the project.

all of the sudden the door opened, slamming against the wall in a violent manner, making you flinch a little, torn out of your thoughts.

you glanced at the doorway, laying your eyes on the indigo-haired boy.

”uhm, hi,” you mumbled, swallowing nervously.

”hi,” he replied, voice and face blank; devoid of any emotion, “uh, d’you wanna come in?”

you uttered a small okay, walking inside after he shuffled a little to the side.

“we can work in the living room, i guess.”

you nodded silently, following scaramouche as he walked to the living room.

upon arriving, you placed your bag—which you had been clutching so hard your knuckles had turned white—down. you both sat down on the ground, and, after taking your things out, started working on the project.

scaramouche was sitting slightly behind you, doing his part of the project. once every few minutes, he would lean his head over your shoulder—face almost touching it—in order to see what progress you had made.

your heart beat much, much faster every time he did it, face getting hot.

and of course that didn’t go unnoticed by scaramouche.

around an hour after working on the project, you asked scaramouche where the bathroom was.

”straight, then go left,” he said. he didn’t even glance up at you as he told you where to go, just continued writing on the notebook splayed out in front of him.

you got up, walking out of the living room and straight like he said.

only problem was you didn’t quite remember if he had said to go right or left after going straight.

you decided to go right, and came across a door. assuming it was the bathroom, you opened it.

you really wished you hadn’t after you saw what was inside.

𝟭𝟰.

after you had opened the door and seen what was inside, you really wished you hadn't.

inside there were hundreds and hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of photographs. they were plastered all over the walls, overlapping each other. they covered the ground, the walls, the ceiling, everything. the only things in the room besides that were a bed, a desk, and a computer monitor, which was lit up.

the bright screen blared at you, enticing you to come look.

the monitor displayed pictures of a house, probably running from security cameras or the like.

but it wasn't just any house, no.

it was your house.

your room.

your kitchen.

your living room.

your fucking house.

a wave of dizziness and nausea hit you. you felt sick to your stomach, leaning on the doorway for support.

then you heard something clattering behind you, falling to the floor.

you looked behind you, eyes wide.

scaramouche was standing there, frozen. he had dropped his phone to the ground, which had a photo of you working on the project opened on it.

”why the fuck are you in my room?” he burst out, almost yelling at you.

his room?

you became even more still than you were before, if that was even physically possible.

”y-you- your room?” you uttered, voice audibly shaking.

scaramouche just glared at you, hands fisted up.

then he took a step toward you.

you, in turn, stepped backwards.

the slightest rusting of paper was heard—presumably some of the photographs getting crushed underneath your feet.

he walked closer.

you backed away.

it was a vicious cycle which eventually ended when you bumped into a wall. some photographs fell down to the floor from the motion.

scaramouche cornered you in, staring at you with an unknown glint in his eyes.

it was a combination of everything you had made him fucking feel—obsession, anger, lovesickness, loathing.

he leaned in towards you, mouth almost touching your ear from how close he was. his hot breath fanned across your neck.

”well, since you’ve already seen everything, there’s no point in letting you leave now, hm? not when you’re right where i want you, my beloved aconite,” he whispered, pulling away. scaramouche grinned.

he stared at you with a mixture of emotions in his eyes, but the most prominent was limerence.

“you’re finally all mine. my aconite.”

243 notes · View notes

murmiss · 6 months

Text

Yandere Simulator.

(accordingly, inspired by the game Yandere Simulator)

Pairing: Ghost/You, Price/You, Gaz/You,Soap/You, Graves/You, Konig/You, Alejandro/You, Rudy/You, Horangi/You. Valeria/You. (I assume that this is not all, since the idea is taken from the Yandere Simulator, in the harem version).

Warning: College, city and certain places and people are fictitious, the education system is fictitious, OOC is possible,My personal headcannons and character vision.Different ages, mention yandere,mentioning mental problems, etc.there may be mistakes in words, English is not my first language.

Summary: Inspired by the game Yandere simulator, where you are the main character, a simple girl in in which different guys with different types and characters are interested, and of course, there is Yandere.

you can express your opinion :)

1 part.

You were born into a simple, extremely ordinary family. Your father was a banker, walking around in his favorite stereotypical outfit: a strict gray suit and a tie, as an indicator of masculinity. Every morning, Mrs. Attwoord, getting up early, cooked breakfast, her children's favorite scrambled eggs and sandwiches, collected breakfast and, like a loving housewife wife, escorted her husband to work, leaving an imperceptible trace of a kiss on his cheek, and carefully tying his tie with her elegant fingers. Next comes the younger brother, the "heir", as his grandmother affectionately calls him, although you sincerely do not understand it: what to inherit? Your father has no company, no business, no fancy house, what can the son of a simple bank employee inherit? But it's not the point that matters. Next, after her brother, the middle daughter Eliza wakes up- an exceptional beauty, with glossy wheat hair, a doll's face- almost a copy of her mother.Eliza was a promising dancer, but she was not a good singer, but she danced perfectly, performing a light bunch of moves to some loud song at every party. Then, at the very end, you woke up.

Usually, it was the last ring of the alarm clock, which you heard through the veil of sleep, not wanting to miss the outcome of the battle between Harry Potter and some fairies. But your mother's shriek, tired of trying to wake you up, let out a loud shriek, forcing you to jump up from your seat and rush to the bathroom, showering and washing up at speed.Standing at the mirror and looking at your exhausted eyes, your hands reached for a small cosmetic bag and your favorite concealer, which, as you hoped, would hide not only the sins, but also the dark bags under your eyes. Next was eyebrow gel and lip gloss - you didn't have much time to put on makeup, and you didn't see much point in it, because you weren't going on a date. In terms of clothing, your choice fell on a skirt-shorts in a large pleated dark blue color, beige T-shirt, which for convenience you tucked into the skirt, a light cardigan for warmth, and complemented the image of black capron tights, which at least somehow but added to the image of completeness. And on your feet you left comfortable sneakers.

After stuffing notebooks and stationery, house keys, lipstick, hairbrush, and perhaps a sketchbook into her backpack, the girl quickly went down to the first floor, grabbed a sandwich from the table, and hurried out of the house, to the excited cry of her mother: "Honey! You forgot your breakfast!"

But the bus, you know, won't wait for you to finish, so you sped up and headed for the bus stop, but when you saw the damn bus in the distance, you immediately broke into a sprint, running like a marathon runner and mentally cursing.

"If you leave now, asshole, I'll put a curse on you!"

And thank God, as if hearing your pleas (curses), the driver waited for the girl in distress. Almost jumping into the bus, skipping the steps, you plopped down on the only free seat and relaxed exhaled, leaning back on the back of the uncomfortable seat. A couple of stops later, leaving the packed bus, or rather, the mechanical inferno, the gates of the college appeared before your eyes. The college was a historic building that people had equipped as a "place of knowledge". Antique patterns, massive doors made of pure wood, high ceilings - all this looked really intimidating and mesmerizing. Passing the gate, you looked at the students with interest: here were girls in brightly colored dresses excitedly babbling about something, here was a group of guys, six people laughing, and here were just loners walking towards the building with headphones in their ears. There were huge trees growing on the college grounds: pine trees, mighty oaks, and even flowers. The place was indeed beautiful. But soon after you took your eyes off the beauty of the place, you noticed that there was already five minutes of class going on! As you rushed into the building, you slammed into someone's strong chest. When you looked up, trying to catch your breath from a short jog, you saw a guy, tall, sturdy, and wearing a half-face mask, which was a little weird, because it wasn't quarantine period or anything. Well, maybe it's an image of him, you thought. Realizing you've been staring at each other for a few moments, you mumble.

-Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't see you there.

You didn't? That's the stupidest excuse ever, to be honest, because it's hard not to notice a big guy like that. The guy nodded, but didn't answer, and, feeling rather awkward, you threw another "sorry" and rushed further into the classroom. And good thing the teacher was late. Entering the classroom, you noticed a guy who sat with an improvised slingshot in his hands, made of two pencils and a rubber band. Oh, yes, you know this jerk - John MacTavish, a Scottish guy, explosive in character, but at the same time the soul of the company and incredibly cute and dorky guy. Noticing you he waved his hand, removing his backpack from its place and beckoning you over. Shaking your head, you quickly climb up to the top and plop down on the seat next to him, pulling out a space-print notebook and a couple of pens.

-What have you got there? When did you start liking Cosmos?- John asked with interest.

-I borrowed a couple of notebooks from Eliza,-you said, sighing, and put your elbow on the table, propping your head on your hand and staring at John, who was fastening erasers and pens with little rubber bands.

-What are you doing?

-Sword-with a serious face John answered, causing you to raise an eyebrow and ask: "A sword?"

-Yeah, the guy pulled out a little man made of erasers from his pencil case and happily demonstrated it to you.

-God, John...-a slight laugh escaped your lips.

151 notes · View notes

lyrablack1883 · 8 months

Text

Charon

They said, if you wish to cross the river Styx, you have to pay Charon, the ferryman, a single coin. Severus never actually meet Charon but he meet other ferryman during his lifetime. Men who pushed him gently into the silent of eternal night.

The first ferryman was his father, a muggle who hated magic and himself. To cross over, Severus pay him with his childhood. He remembered the belt, the stings of cold winter, the hunger and the sound of rats running around the alley. But it wasn’t enough. The second ferryman was a beautiful boy with silver eyes. To cross over, Severus continue to pay him throughout his teenage years. He remembered the stings of hexes, the humiliation, and the wetness of his robes clinging to his body as he was drop into the lake. The ferryman then deliver him to the wolf. But it wasn’t enough.

The third ferryman was a man with red eyes and charming smiles. The ferryman told him, he understood his suffering, and gently, he marked him as his own. To cross over, Severus pay him the one thing he ever loved. He remembered the anguish, the regret, the stain on his arm, and the never ending crucio. But again, it wasn’t enough. The fourth and final ferryman was a man one step before d3ath itself. To cross over, Severus pay him with the only thing he had left, his soul. He remembered how the ferryman’s body falls, the way his last word was of him begging him to end it. With this final payment, the third ferryman approached him and in turn will deliver him to his final rest. However again, it seems it wasn’t enough. As the boy with silver eyes, took both of his hand, together they ran and the boy rowed them back into the opposite direction.

(I genuinely forgot what I was going for the first time I had the idea, so above is just the general idea of Severus and his connection with men who controlled his whole life, who he paid dearly for every stage of his life, and after, at the end, he was finally rewarded with death, except I don’t want his story to end like that, so Sirius here had the role to bring him back, you can view him here as a ghost or alive [where he didn’t fall into the veil], why him especially? I viewed these two as characters who lived through the same hell, the type that goes “you put me through this hell, so I’ll drag you down here too” but also “you and I went through the same hell, I managed to get out, so I’ll do anything to get you out with me”) [according to the extremely biased characterization in my head ahaha]

The age of these characters portrayal is set during the time Severus felt closer to death because of them. Tom riddle in his 50s when he killed lily, Tobias in his 30-40s when Severus still lived with him, Sirius in his fifth year when he sent Severus to werewolf!remus and dumbledore in his 150s when he asked Severus to end his life. Since this was also done from Sirius pov, Severus here is also portrayed in his fifth year except for the last panel where he is portrayed a moment before his supposed death at 38.

This was loosely inspired by the song ‘Achilles come down’ by gang of youths and this wonderful fic two sides by blue_inking and Zain

#severus snape #sirius black #tom riddle #albus dumbledore #tobias snape #harry potter #digital illustration #animatic

396 notes · View notes

cannedpickledpeaches · 6 months

Text

Insert Your Name (5)

Mafia!Jade Leech x Mafia!Reader

Link to series masterlist!

Notes and TW: Overthinker reader having a conversation with Mr. "Just Trust Me" Jade Leech. This series will have mentions of blood, violence, crime (kidnapping, attempted assassination, extortion), and harassment, as one might expect from a mafia AU. Please enjoy!

Tags: @guava-writes @itszzmoon @twstsandturns @myteacupisempty @rou-luxe

“Would you like some tea?”

Jade offers you a cup of something that smells like lavender. You shake your head.

“I’m okay.” You turn your attention back to your screen. He sets the cup and saucer next to you anyway. “Who knows, maybe you’ve put a suspicious substance in it.”

“Is it so hard to believe that I can do something out of the kindness of my heart?”

You chuckle and shake your head. “You? Absolutely not. Give an inch and you take a mile.”

There’s a beat where he doesn’t reply. You look up at him, wondering if you’ve said something strange, but his back is turned as he walks to his seat. When he turns back around to settle in his chair, his expression stills like a frozen pond. Perfectly crafted, carefully unreadable.

A few hours have passed since his phone call. You’ve decided to work in Jade’s office today, thinking that you might get a clue or a burst of inspiration if one of the subjects of your thoughts is in close proximity. He doesn’t seem to mind. If anything, his quiet hums and constant catering to your needs indicates that he’s rather pleased. Aside from the cup of tea releasing a wispy veil of steam, there’s also a plate of cookies and a bowl of cherries on his desk beside you.

“A penny for your thoughts?”

You close your laptop and sigh. There are too many to count, all swirling in your head without rest.

“Still thinking about what you told me this morning.” You don’t want to address the bigger issue—that (Y/N) apparently forgot who you are—so you start small. “I didn’t expect you to actually fall asleep.”

“Neither did I.” Jade frowns in thought. “I imagine it is a result of too few hours of sleep throughout the week.”

“Even so, you said it yourself. You can’t sleep around strangers.” You drum your fingers on the desk. “Maybe you actually do feel at ease around her.”

“That is not the case.” His voice carries certainty that surprises you. When you glance at him, you notice that his mouth is set in a firm line. “I was quite unsettled when I woke up.”

“Huh.” You can imagine it. His shock at his lapse in vigilance. But even so, no matter how tired he is, he has never made this sort of blunder before. “I guess there’s a first for everything.”

A shadow passes over his face. He stands next to your chair and leans over you. His eyes stare straight into yours—piercing mismatched eyes with an almost magnetic pull.

“I will ask you the same question as last night. Do you really believe that manuscript is a reflection of things that will certainly come to pass?”

Your heart jumps. Is he using Shock the Heart? But a few seconds pass, and no words leave your lips. This is not his Signature Spell. This is Jade Leech asking you a sincere, serious question. Besides, you have no reason to lie.

“Like I said, I don’t know—”

“Then don’t talk and act as though it is.” Is that frustration in his voice? He maintains eye contact with you, and you feel as though you can’t look away. “I, for one, think a predetermined future is horribly boring. My actions dictated for me, every event predictable . . . . I would sooner abandon it all and throw caution to the wind. The only reason why I am following the manuscript is because it outlines a way to restore my parents’ health.”

His sentence ends on half a breath, as though he originally intended to say more. He doesn’t. You wait, but nothing comes out.

“And?”

He kneels beside your chair, no longer towering over you or crowding your space. When he speaks again, he is quiet. But in the silence of his office, you hear it clear as day.

“And because that is what you want.”

Many history textbooks praise the Sea Witch for her spells and potions. One of the most famous ones took away a mermaid’s voice. You wonder if this is what that mermaid felt like. A storm of thoughts, but none able to be processed by your vocal chords. Parted lips that leak no sounds. You stare, nonplussed.

Eventually, you manage to let out a breathy, barely-heard whisper.

“What?”

His Adam’s apple bobs. “That is the truth. If that is what you wish for, then I will do my best to live up to your expectations. I know your good friend (Y/N)’s life is difficult. I know you think that by following this manuscript, everyone will be happy, because that is what it says will happen.”

You continue staring. The words seem to pass through you. It’s as though you are sitting in a dream, your surroundings wavering and surreal. What is he saying?

“The truth is that I could simply care less about (Y/N). She is at most an acquaintance. The reason why I give her special treatment is because I know she is precious to you.” He keeps rambling. You get the sense that he has been keeping quiet about this for a while. “As for the matter concerning my parents. If we follow the story, there is still no guarantee that they will be cured. Even you said you do not know if the manuscript’s plot will certainly come to pass. If Vil Schoenheit refuses to help my family, we will think of another way. He is not the only alchemist or curse expert in the world.

“I will follow what you want. But do not ask me to fall in love with (Y/N). That is the one thing I cannot do.”

“Why?” Your brain feels like porridge. Nothing seems to be getting through it. You cannot reason out a single thing. Isn’t (Y/N) created to be loved? Aren’t they written to fit like a glove on each other’s fingers? You’ve read the story. There doesn’t seem to be a particular reason why the Jade in the story obsesses over her aside from spending time together. It doesn’t actually matter. It’s the author’s will that their love is written in the stars—and the pages of that damn manuscript. It’s the point of the entire plot. “Is there something you don’t like about her?”

“Do I need a reason for failing to fall in love?”

Your mind blanks. Does he need a reason? He has a similar line in the manuscript. Do I need a reason for falling in love? If you think about it, isn’t it the same? No matter how you try and reason out the answer, love is not a puzzle with a logical answer. There is no formula, no recipe, no surefire step-by-step manual that you can follow to ensure success. Sometimes a spark causes a flame, and sometimes it sizzles out and dies. There is nobody to blame for either outcome.

You can’t wrap your mind around it. Why. Why. Why. Your brain, constantly overflowing with thoughts, cannot leave this topic to rest. A puzzle without an answer leaves you feeling antsy. Not knowing everything is a sin to your conscience.

“That doesn’t make any sense.”

“That is how love tends to be.”

An unsatisfactory answer. You dig your nails into your palm.

“Then answer me this. Why do you follow what I want? Is it because I’m interesting? No, that’s not right. You just said following a pre-written script is boring, and that’s exactly what I told you to do. I don’t understand.”

“The script is boring. You are anything but.”

“Me? What have I done?”

He smiles, then, one wholly different from his polite masks or his teasing grins or even his unhinged laughter. It’s an expression you associate with the times he talks about his interests. The expression that blankets and scatters across his countenance like orange rays of the setting sun over ocean waves. A quiet and calm beauty. A fondness that he rarely allows to be seen.

“Did you know that when you have much on your mind, you look up to the sky? That is why you prefer rooms with windows. The attic in my home that you love so dearly is one such room, and you spend all your time there nestled on the window seat. On that topic, you prefer small spaces because it helps you feel secure while you think. This is because you tend to zone out, and it is easier to defend yourself when no threats can appear behind you.”

“Uh, this is more like a behavioural report than a reason.”

“I do adore observing your behaviour. Particularly when you are lost in thought. I find myself wondering what you’re thinking about. If you’ll share them with me. But oftentimes, you do not trust me enough to do so.”

You swallow hard. “It’s hard to.”

“Why is that? I’ve known you for fifteen years. Floyd has known you for just as long, Azul a little less. (Y/N) has only known you for one year. So why can’t you trust me?”

You fiddle with your fingers, no longer capable of meeting his gaze. This kind of outburst is not something you expected from Jade. How long has he been thinking this way?

“I can’t tell what’s going on in your head. That’s why. Everything you say or do just gives me more to think about. If you’re being genuine or not, if you’ll suddenly decide to turn on me, things like that.”

Hurt flashes in his eyes. His smile shifts from fond to rueful and raw desperation permeates his shaky voice. It sounds brittle, as though a well-aimed push would shatter it into infinitesimal pieces.

“Is it so inconceivable that I could do things for you without ulterior motives?”

You look away. “Only until it no longer serves your interests or amuses you. Even if I can’t trust you fully, I’m sure there’s at least some level of it between us. I mean, we see each other regularly. I even let you drive me home.”

“Yes, but I am afraid I am a greedy man. Anyone else turning their back on me would be tolerable, but you—if it’s you . . . . At least promise me this. Even if I turn on the entire world,” he declares quietly, “promise you will trust that I will not betray you.”

You open your mouth as though to reply. Nothing comes out. You try again, your fingers gripping your knees tightly.

“I think we’re too similar. We’re both too cautious. We both think too much. Because of that, I can’t let my guard down around you.”

“Yet that is exactly what fascinates me.” He places a hand over yours. “Trying to decipher your thoughts, wondering about the motivations behind your actions, these are all things I find myself enthralled by. Your brutality and decisiveness towards that which would benefit you, but your willingness to do anything for the people dear to you. Your cautious nature as you execute your bold plans. Every time I think I have you pinned down, I only unearth another layer. The mystery intrigues me. On the other hand, I cannot help but wish you would trust and open up to me a little more.”

“That’s contradictory.”

“I cannot help it.” He smiles wryly. “I am contradictory by nature, as are you.”

You study his hand that engulfs yours. Cool to the touch. Ungloved, too. You muster your resolve.

“Then promise you won’t lie to me.” You finally lift your gaze until it returns to his eyes. Clear eyes that have been by your side for years. The eyes of a liar and schemer. Ironic for the one who wields a Signature Spell that forces out the truth. But these are the eyes of Jade Leech, and you won’t try to make him be someone he isn’t. “Lie to everyone else, I don’t care. But don’t lie to me. You can try to trick me or give me half-truths. I’ll figure them out on my own. If I still get fooled, that’s on me. Just don’t outright lie.”

The pounding of your heart fills your ears. Then, it is replaced by the sound of his quiet laughter.

“I expected nothing less from you.” He brings your hand up to touch his cheek. It only lasts a moment before he lets go and stands back up, returning to his seat. “I give you my word. I will never lie to you again.”

You look at the teacup on the desk, the lavender tea inside now cooled. The untouched cookies and cherries. A soft clink rings out as you take the teacup and bring it to your lips. Sweet and fragrant. Even cold, the tea Jade brews is impeccable.

#twisted wonderland #disney twst #jade leech #twst fanfic #twst jade #twst x reader #jade leech x reader #multi chap fic #mafia au #jade promised to brew a relaxing tea last chapter #lavender tea promotes sleep and stress relief #even if you don't drink it the scent helps #so he wins whether you drink it or not #slow burn

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imqueerandadeer · 2 months

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THEY'RE VOTING ON KOSA THIS THURSDAY JULY 25TH

I already said this under a reblog but I wanna make my own post.

Kosa is the Kids online saftey act and would allow the government to monitor what kids would see online, to qoute "prevent and mitigate mental health disorders"

This bill would raise the legal age your allowed to be on any social site from 13 to 17 and would remove and hide content that exacerbates "self-harm, suicide, eating disorders, and substance use disorders." this would hide social media post educating teens and adults about these things, it would also make it almost impossible for adults and kids alike to acess health info on the internet.

The bill would also put in place a age verification system that would take peoples data to verify they're age and be stored in a huge database.Kosa allows congress to decide on whats appropriate for teens to see, meaning this will lead to mass censorship of any topic not deemed appropriate by our lovely senators!! /s

Lets be real here the first topic they'd want to ban is any and all LGBTQIA+ topics.

This is not about the kids and this has never been about the kids, this is just another thinly veiled excuse for the government to try and have complete control over the youth, and to silence LGBTQIA+ voices.

Although I belive the duty of care part of the bill has been amended so that the state attorney general can enforce the other parts of the bill but not the duty of care bit. (correct me If I'm wrong)

I like many other people would be run off this platform and every other platform for that matter for 4 years.

What we need to do right now is to lobby and we need to make our voices heard.

If any info here is wrong, please, please correct me, I will not take offense, I don't want to spread misinformation

IMPORTANT THING I FORGOT TO MENTION: Even if Kosa passes through the senate it still has to go through the house and I think it has more opposition there

Sources:

Source one

Source two

Read the Kosa Bill Here

Helpful links:

Linktree

Bad internet bills

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when-november-ends · 2 years

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witchcraft things

that didn't work for me

and why

- kitchen witchcraft

i love cooking and i love working with plants, however incorporating spells into my food didn't work for me. i got way too distracted by the spell part, that i completely forgot to make the food taste good. and as much as i love magic, it took the fun out of cooking for me. because now, cooking wasn't something fun where i could experiment with flavors and textures, it was something i had to put thought into beforehand. and i like to be spontaneous with my cooking.

- protection spells

protection spells seem to be the most important part of the witchcraft community. and i do think it's important to know how protection magic works, but it's also very unnecessary to have protections up 24/7 if you're not famous or have many enemies. i tend to forget about my protection spells, so they just sit on my altar, untouched for months and i forget to make new ones. hasn't hurt me so far tho, so i'll be saving those up for when and if i actually need them.

- casting a circle

not gonna lie, i tried that once and never again. it felt so pretentious to me.. like i was in Chilling Adventures of Sabrina. and not in a good way. i stumbled across that practice on witchtok first, that was when i thought i was wrong for practicing my way and not how other people said i should. i don't think casting a circle is a bad thing to do, but it absolutely is a bad thing to do for me.

- bowl spells

bowl spells are one of my favorite kinds of spells because they're interactive. you put things in, you take things out. the energy doesn't feel stagnant and the spell is always working it's magic as long as you interact with it. ....but unfortunately my adhd made it very clear to me that those kinds of spells aren't something that works for me. i forget about them 5 minutes after i made them and they never get interacted with, so they don't do much of what they're supposed to. i would definitely recommend them to people who remember to take out and put in stuff tho, because the concept is great.

- scrying

gods, did i want that to work. divination is my favorite kind of witchcraft and i'm great at it! so when i learned about scrying, it was something i immediately got interested in and tried. i tried fire and water. fire worked a bit better, because the flames are dancing and water is reflective. that meant for me, i was always seeing things in it that were physically there, and couldn't concentrate on the scrying part. honestly i don't really remember why the fire method didn't work out, but i assume i got distracted really fast or lost in my thoughts.

- veiling

veiling can be done for many reasons. mine was, that i wanted to use it as a way to protect myself from all the different types of energy in public places. every person has their own life, with their own problems and their own current state of being. and since i have social anxiety, i thought veiling would be worth a try so that public places perhaps wouldn't get overwhelming as fast. well, that backfired because before i could try it, i realized i was trans and the head covering made me feel very dysphoric when i put it on at home. i never attempted anything similar again after that.

- ancestor work

i lost someone really close to me in early 2020. she wasn't a blood relative, but she was my dad's best friend, our landlord (who lived in the same house as we did by the way) and she saw me grow up since i was a baby. i was so desperate to try and talk to her. i tried to reach her myself, i asked other witches for help, but it never worked. after a while i decided to let her be, because the constant getting my hopes up and then being disappointed didn't help my mental health. i just wanted to know if she was okay now, but i think i just have to trust that she is. as for my other ancestors, i don't know anything about them and i am not really interested in finding out. i wasn't close with any of my great grandparents because we saw each other about once a year until they died. they didn't do anything wrong, but i don't want to force a connection.

- dragon work

damn. i really love dragons. all my life and with all my heart. and i truly believe that they are out there (not physically, like dinosaurs were, but in a similar way the gods are out there). i've done a lot of research on the topic, but my mental health got in the way. i don't have the concentration to reach out to them, nor will i be able to dedicate a specific amount of time to them regularly, which i feel like they won't like. i will try again when and if i get better, but until then it goes on this list of witchcraft things that didn't work for me and why.

#witchcraft #witchblr #witch #witches of tumblr #norse pagan witch #pagan witch #witch community #witchcraft community #witchcraft 101 #witch tips #beginner witch tips #beginner witch #baby witch tips #baby witch #kitchen witchcraft #dragon work #scrying #spells #witchcraft spells

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lovelytsunoda · 2 years

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emergency contact // mercedes ( ii )

summary: in the sequel to 'you're on your own kid', y/n makes the first step in breaking out of her shell and overcoming her anxiety by attending her first race with the mercedes team. unfortunately for her, all it takes is four hours and a few text messages with a certain f2 driver to make things all come crashing down again.

things that i want, this happily ever after, you choke on your words just to swallow them after, asleep on the couch while you're passed out in the back, i just want you to be my emergency contact

pairing: platonic! mercedes amg f1 x reader, brief liam lawson x reader (unrequited)

warnings:anxiety and loneliness, fear of dying alone. unrequited love & miscommunication between liam and y/n, this one drags the f2 idiots into this disaster, heavy drinking

author's note: all i have to say is i'm sorry for inflicting emotional pain on you guys through this series, because it's totally becoming a series: merc helping baby intern navigate being an adult.writing fics on tumblr is cheaper than going to therapy and makes me feel better than going to therapy does. that's a joke, by the way.

breathe, y/n. just breathe

that's the mantra that she repeats to herself as she walks into the paddock, watching the frantically moving figures scramble around in front of her. it was overwhelming, the atmosphere like something that she had never experienced before.

truth be told, it scared her a little bit.

"just breathe, beautiful. you're safe." angela cullen encouraged, putting a reassuring hand on the young law clerk's shoulder.

"there's a lot of people here." she laughed nervously as the pair kept walking towards the mercedes hospitality suite. "i forgot that the filthy rich fans are also allowed back here."

you don't belong here. the voice in her head was back, the one that made her want to curl back into herself. it took forever for her to get to the point where she agreed to come with the team to a race. it was just silverstone, something very much local because she was still too anxious to fly overseas. susie had thought that it would be a good way for her to get to know people within the motorsports world, a way to become more comfortable with herself and the mercedes team.

"you'll be fine." angela encouraged. "if you keep your head down and keep walking quickly, you'll be at the garage before you know it."

most of the week leading up to silverstone had been spent with nyck, susie and angela, as george, toto and lewis were so busy getting race-ready. they'd done a day in london all as a team, a film camera sitting in her backpack was filled with pictures of her and the drivers doing all of the cheesy touristy things.

it had been the best week of her life.

but she knew that once it was over, it was back to normalcy. back to frozen tesco pizza and reruns of 'benidorm'. of course, her life had improved vastly since lewis and george had welcomed her into the group. she's started having monthly girls nights with susie and angela, and sometimes naomi schiff came along as well. they'd get their nails done and go out for dinner and drinks. it got y/n out of the house, and it made her feel like she was a part of something.

this was a feeling she had been chasing since she graduated high school.

a feeling that almost made the pain of watching all of her old friends move on with their lives: getting boyfriends and girlfriends, moving in with their partners, going out every other night with their large friend groups, and even getting married.

and it really hurt her to watch, knowing that everyone else was moving on but she was still stuck in the same place.

really, she just wanted to be loved.

"hey, kiddo!" toto waved to her as she and angela went into the garage.

the austrian had become a proper substitute for her father now that she was living on her own. all that toto wanted was for y/n to feel secure and comfortable with her job at the team. he was constantly making sure that she felt included, sometimes letting her in on things that not even the lawyers got to see just yet. despite his imposing appearance and his brash attitude, he was a big softie.

"hey, toto." she exhaled a breath, leaning in to give the team principal a hug. "thanks for inviting me along, really."

"anytime. hopefully this has been a good week for you, and maybe you'll consider coming to some of the races that are further from home, a little more outside of that comfort zone of yours?"

"i hope so too." she smiled sadly. "where do you need me today?"

"it's qualifying today, so we need all hands on deck. we've been struggling a little with pace this weekend, but i think we have a shot at the front row." toto began, passing y/n a set of headphones. "usually the crew who aren't needed during the qualifying brackets hang out in the back. i think george's girlfriend is back there too, if you'd feel more comfortable around carmen."

"thank you, toto. really, i don't think i can say it enough." y/n gushed, twirling the cord for the headphones around her ring finger.

toto smiled. "any time, kid."

she walked to the back corner of the garage, talking to some of the engineers and a few of the pit crew members on her way. the crew had welcomed her with open arms. she couldn't remember a time when she had felt more loved, but the void was still there.

she ached to be loved romantically. to be understood, treasured. for another person to want to spent the rest of his life by her side. to one day get dressed up in a nice white dress, and walk down the aisle in an old cathedral or a castle or a library and officially spend the rest of her life with someone she loved by her side.

"good luck out there, lewis." she tried to push the usual existential crisis out of her mind, giving the right-time world champion a tight hug before moving on to george, who could drape his whole lanky body over her if he tried. "you too, russell george. go kick some red bull ass, yeah?"

"you can bet we'll try!" george laughed.

"hey, if you get overwhelmed at all, the back door is right there." lewis said softly, nodding his head in the direction of a heavy metal door hidden in the wall, a fluorescent exit sign posted above.

"as long as you stick with carmen, you'll be in good hands." george agreed. "just stay within your comfort zone, don't push yourself too much."

"that was the plan. being here is out of the comfort zone enough. good luck, guys." she said again, moving to stand next to carmen montero in the back of the garage.

whenever she went to events where susie wasn't around and the drivers were busy, she always found herself gravitating towards carmen. she barely knew george's girlfriend except for the fact that carmen was normal and hardworking just like she was and that this world as as new to carmen as it was to y/n.

the first qualifying session ended, and the cars returned to the garages while the commentators reset the clock. the merc garage was suddenly a hub of activity, and y/n couldn't help but notice how her anxiety was spiking as she took off the headphones and reached for her purse.

"everything okay?" carmen asked softly, putting a hand on her shoulder.

y/n nodded. "just need some breathing room. i'm going to run and get a hot chocolate from hospitality. do you want anything?"

carmen shook her head. "don't worry about me, love."

y/n slipped out of the garage through the back door, pulling her aviator sunglasses over her eyes against the british sun. there was a slight breeze in the paddock that had her pulling the sleeves of her sweater over her knuckles. the paddock was calmer now, save for the five drivers who hadn't made it through to q2 hanging their heads as they made their way back to their hospitality suites.

"hi, y/n!" alexander albon waved, a bright smile on his face. she'd only ever met alex once or twice, because the williams driver was so close with george. but alex had welcomed her immediately.

"hey, alex. it's a pity about q1."

"eh, i drive a williams." alex shrugged. "what can you do?"

as alexander headed back towards the williams garage, y/n headed towards the hot chocolate vendor, lining up behind mechanics and engineers, hospitality workers and pr reps who were trying to warm up from the cold. though the calendar declared that it should have been the summer, it felt like the spring, a damp kind of cold seeping into everybody's bones.

as she walked back to the garage with a paper cup warming her hands, she stopped to talk to a group of boys sitting on a patio table near the mercedes hospitality suite after frederik vesti waved her over.

fred had driven in f2 that morning, a qualifying that saw him starting in the middle of the pack.

"oi, fred, don't you have a debreif to be at?" y/n joked, playfully pushing him in the side as she took a seat next to him at the table.

"oh, fuck off." the junior driver laughed. "y/n, this is dennis, liam, clement, marcus and jack, they're some of my mates from f2."

as the boys waved at her one by one, she knew exactly why frederik had waved her over.

he was trying to get her to make friends.

"so, what brings someone like you out to the paddock? i don't think that we've seen you 'round here before." the blond that fred had pointed out as liam spoke first.

he had a kiwi accent that made y/n's legs go weak, her heart beating faster in her chest as she nervously combed her hair behind her ear. "i work in the legal department. i don't know a lot about how things actually work around here, i just help file the paperwork for it."

"oh, so she's a smart one." clement cheered, raising his glass of sprite for a toast. "we need more people like you around here."

talking to the boys gradually became easier. it was a relief for y/n, to see that people were so thrilled about having her around, that they seemed to like her so quickly, with no strings attached. people who wouldn't expect anything from her, but just enjoyed talking to her.

it felt amazing to be appreciated, to be liked by people who weren't obligated to.

"i should head back. q2 is almost over, and i should see if toto needs me." she said, raising her voice slightly to be heard over the laughter from one of clement's jokes. "but this has been really great, guys. really."

"what's your instagram?" marcus asked, pulling his phone out of his pocket. "we'll put you in the group chat." he passed her the phone, not missing the way that her face lit up as she searched for her own profile in the app, adding herself to marcus' f2 group chat.

"we were all going out later." liam added. "it's nothing much, just a way to decompress before the weekend starts. you're more than welcome to join us, if you wanted to."

"really?" she couldn't stop her face from breaking out in a grin. "i wouldn't want to trouble you guys."

"it's no trouble. i insist."

"okay. text me the details, and i'll be there."

________

the evening rolled around fast. she stood in front of the closet mirror in her room of the rented mercedes villa, running her hands over her thighs before proceeding to scrutinize the rest of her appearance in the mirror. frederik had promised to drive her, and she wanted to be ready before he threw on some cologne and grabbed his car keys from the kitchen counter.

there was a soft knock on her door, and after y/n gave permission for the person on the other side to open it, susie wolff stepped into the room.

“you look great, kiddo.” she said with a smile. “remember to have fun tonight, okay? just be yourself.”

“in the past, that hasn’t exactly worked out for me.” y/n sighed, rolling up the sleeves of her form/fitting long sleeves shirt to spray her arms with a bath and body works spray.

“and if you feel like coming home early, don’t hesitate to call me or angela, alright hon?”

y/n laughed, reaching for the small quartz necklace she had draped over the airbnb's dresser. she'd be lying if she said she wasn't nervous. although marcus, clement, liam and dennis seemed to like her, she was still nervous about going out with them all, being thorwn headfirst into a night out with a group of drivers that have spotty reputations.

"thanks, susie. for everything." and she truly meant it. the wolff's had been so important into making her field placement feel like home, and not just another thing she needed to do to get her diploma.

she followed susie downstairs, where frederik was talking to one of the engineers, a glass of sparkling water in his hand and a set of keys dangling from his fingers.

"ready to go?" the frenchman asked, pushing away from the counter. "marcus is wondering where we are."

"hang on, hang on." nyck de vries laughed, cutting the junior driver off midsentence. "it's baby's first night out! we need to remember this!"

the intern rolled her eyes. the entire scenario reminded her of how her parents acted when she went to prom. susie backed away and y/n attempted to pose against the cinnamon colored wall as toto got his phone out. she locked eyes with nyck behind the counter, mouthing the words 'fuck you, shortass' before going back to smiling at toto.

"have fun tonight, kiddo." lewis said with a bright smile, his voice calming her down as the seven time world champion patted her gently on the shoulder. "and please try and stop frederik from doing something stupid."

"oi!" fred shouted through laughter. "come on, we should get going before clement gets too drunk."

"don't scare the poor girl!" toto scolded. "you will be fine. and if any of them do anything you don't like, i'll have words with them."

________

the club was hazy, shrouded in purple lights. the drivers had rented out a private room in the back corner of the building. her chest felt tighter as she followed frederik, the anxiety beginning to set in.

fred reached for her hand. "you've got this. they don't bite. clem is a little feral, but if you're firm with him he'll leave you alone."

she nodded. "okay. here goes nothing."

when the door opened, she had to take a minute to take in what was happening. clement novalak and dennis hauger were doing shots at a table in the middle of the room while the rest of the f2 grid were gathered around them (save for a brazilian with a mane of hair who was sitting in the corner, making out with a girl of about twenty) chanting 'shots, shots, shots' before dennis tapped out and clement howled with victory.

oh dear lord, what am i doing here? she wondered, taking in the chaos unfolding in front of her.

"hey, dickheads!" fred shouted. "i want you to meet someone!"

activity around the table stilled, dennis and clement cheering when they say y/n.

and she'd be lying if she said that their enthusiasm didn't make her feel a little warm and fuzzy on the insides.

"woah, she's hot." a swiss guy with curls of blonde hair framing his face looked over, slurring his words slightly. he was likely the drunkest out of all of them, a vape pen sticking out of his jeans pocket.

"fuck off, ralph! she's the same age as dennis, don't make this weird." marcus laughed, stealing one of the remaining shots from dennis' side of the table.

"that's ralph boshung, he's our version of fernando alonso. he's twenty-five and he's shite, but he brings camps money." dennis laughed, throwing one tattooed arm over y/n's shoulders. "he's a dick, but he's harmless."

"pleasure." she croaked as she moved closer to the table. "now who'd everybody else?"

"right, so that's roy, logan, jehan, amaury, marino, enzo, richard, theo, ayumu, zane, calan, olli, the one in the corner there is felipe-"

that's too many people. she felt overwhelmed, but she wasn't quite sure how to tell dennis that. some of the guys she recognized from the pictures they used as their profile pictures on the group chat, and others she'd never seen before.

"do you want a shot?" clement asked, draping his body over hers as he held the small tequila glass in front of her face.

"i'm good." she said calmly, shaking her head as she sat down in the booth, taking a seat next to who she assumed was zane maloney. "i don't really drink, can't stand the taste of alchohol."

zane snorted. "smart choice. trust me, these lot do a lot of funny shit when they're drunk."

"clem is a riot when he's wine drunk. he'll start randomly speaking french, or change his accent midsentence." jehan added with a laugh. "it's so fucking funny."

the song playing outside changed, and the boys let out a cheer.

"boys, to the dance floor!" ralph yelled, pointing towards the door as he slipped his sunglasses on his face for no other reason than to try and look cool.

and suddenly the room was practically empty: a mjorty of the drivers had departed for the dance floor, felipe's woman had vanished, and suddenly there were only four of them in the room: felipe, y/n, dennis and marcus.

"you two don't usually stay behind when those idiots go to make bad decisions and piss their trainers off." felipe remarked, looking at marcus and dennis. "are you sure you're all right?"

marcus shrugged. "we don't want y/n sitting in here on her own, do we? that's not why we invited her out."

"thank you, for that. i'm not a club kind of person, in case you couldn't already notice. too many people, too many things going on. it overwhelms me."

"no worries!" dennis insisted. "trust me, you don't want to be out there right now anyways. do you want anything to drink, even just like a soda or something?"

"a sprite would be nice."

"get the woman a sprite!" felipe shouted, shoving the two other driver's out of the booth. "go on, what are you lads here for?"

they all laughed as marcus and dennis fought over who would have the horror of walking over to the bar and ordering the soft drink. dennis ended up losing, the norwegian cursing jokingly at marcus before he slipped out of the room, music still shaking the drywal.

all throughout the night, the drivers seemed to rotate staying with y/n, keeping her company or splitting a plate of fries with her. they all genuinely seemed like nice people and she was almost glad that she had let frederik convince her that coming out tonight was a good idea.

"you should dance!" liam insisted, stealing the last greasy french fry from the ceramic plate. "come on, what are you so scared of?"

"uh, making a fool out of myself? ending up on a formula two gossip page? or worse, a wags page where the comments section get into fights with each other trying to figure out which one of you idiots i was here with in the first place and who i went home with or who i had a threesome with?"

liam cackled. "does your brain ever slow down?"

"not at all." she answered, dead serious. her brain was a very scary place to be.

"come on, get out of your head for a little bit. you only live once, baby merc."

y/n grinned, hoping that the dim lights did something to hide the blush on her face. "baby merc? did frederik tell you that toto calls me that?"

"he might have mentioned it." liam grinned, his eyes sparkling with mischief. "so, what do you say?"

y/n shook her head, crossing her arms before leaning back in her seat. "i don't even like this kind of music."

liam raised an eyebrow. "that can be easily fixed."

she was about to say something back when she finally recognized one of the songs on the stereo. when 'spice up your life' by the spice girls started to play, she couldn't stop her face from breaking into a grin.

"come on now, you have to dance!" liam insisted as the door slid open and clement novalak came in, sashaying his hips as he walked up to the tables.

"it's the spice girls!" the frenchman shouted. "you are legally obligated to dance, baby merc!"

with both clement and liam trying to convince her, there wasn't any fight left to try and talk them, or herself, out of it. "fine. you guys get one song. one."

she said one song, but the way she felt when she finally got out there, dancing with the group of boys, singing the spice girls at the top of their lungs as liam took her by the hand. she felt alive, a smile threatening to tear her skin apart.

she took out her phone, swiveling the camera to face them all as they screamed the chorus, the boys drunk and sweaty and rambunctious, a glow over her skin that she didn't recognize.

the glow of confidence and contentment.

________

when she and fred got back to the villa, she felt giddy as she ran back up the stairs to her room, kicking off her shoes and flopping back on the bed, clutching the cool screen of her phone to her chest.

while she felt this high, like she was walking on air, there was something she needed to do.

to liam: hey liam! big thanks for inviting me out with you guys tonight. i had an incredible time and it was nice getting to know you. i was wondering if maybe you wanted to get together for a coffee or something during a race weekend?

she pressed send with her eyes screwed shut. it was the riskiest text she could remember sending. she dropped the phone, getting back to her feet and busying herself while she waited for liam to text her back, stopping her hands from shaking from worry.

she changed out of her clubbing clothes, dressing in flannel pajama bottoms and an oversized shirt for a band that she went to see when she was in her freshman year of high school.

oh how things had changed for her since then. she should be proud of herself, she knew. but some days she didn't feel like she had moved on from that stuffy london secondary school.

her phone vibrated on the bed, and she braced herself for the worst, even as she lunged faster than the speed of light to grasp the device in her hands.

and then she felt her stomach drop, the bad feeling spreading through her bones as she felt like she couldn't support her body weight on her own any more.

rejection.

from liam: heyyyyyy.....i had a great time with you today as well, and you seem like a really nice person, and i really hate to be the one to burst your bubble like this, but i'm already seeing someone. her name is olivia, i met her back in new zealand.

she was now three for three, and more concerned that she was going to die alone than ever.

______

"she's been out there a while." george russell said slowly, nodding his head in the direction of the back dec. it was dark outside, the stars visible above the trees. "frederik, what happened when you guys were out? who do we have to hurt?"

fred shook his head. "i have no idea. she was having a great time, dancing with liam and clement. the boys were tripping over each other to talk to her, make her feel welcome. whatever happened must have happened after we came back."

the mercedes drivers looked out the patio door again, hearts aching at the sight of y/n leaning over the deck railing, a sad and despondent expression on her face.

"i'm going to go and talk to her." lewis said, getting to his feet and sliding the door open.

his heart ached for the girl who so badly wanted to leave her mark on the world. the girl who was scared of dying alone at such a young age, scared she'd never be loved or treasured. scared that she would be alone for the rest of her life, that everything was simply temporary.

"y/n, are you alright?"

"he's seeing someone else. i finally thought i had a fucking chance to be loved, and he's seeing someone else." her voice broke, a single salty tear beginning to make it's track down the pale expanse of her skin. and as that first one fell, more and more followed. "am i unlovable, lewis?"

and that's when lewis felt his heart break. y/n was too young to feel the pain of the world, the pain of heartache. he knew what it was like to bleed love into the world and not get enough back. to still feel that void inside of you.

"don't say that, love. you are not unlovable. he just wasn't the right person for you. do you want to talk about it?"

"not really."

"that's fine." he was standing next to her now, looking out at the backyard and the trees. y/n looked so small, hiding behind the old concert shirt that was four sizes too big, but that she had bought that way because she was already paying too much for it, so it might as well last her four or five years of growth.

"but know that this is not a reflection on you. this is all on him. and you put yourself out there tonight. that must have been a massive step for you. you should be proud of yourself, even though it's hurting right now."

she caught a shadow moving behind her out of the corner of her eye, hearing the deck creak under the weight of footsteps.

"who was it?" toto wolff's voice was deep, tinged with anger that someone had decided to cross his favorite intern. the one that he thought of as family as much as he did his own three kids. in fact, he had considered introducing y/n and benedict, as they were at a similar age and he knew that she could use a friend. "i don't care who he is or what driver's academy he's in, i just want to have a little chat with him."

y/n laughed, shaking her head as she pictured toto storming into the red bull garage to yell at poor liam for hurting his favorite intern. "you don't have to do that. i need to learn how to deal with these things on my own."

lewis turned his head, giving her and understanding look. "remember we're here if you need us, okay? you never have to go through something like this alone again."

"oi, is there another party that i never got invited to?" george proclaimed, making his presence known on the deck. the group laughed, remembering the day they had all met, the day they became what they were today, when y/n had been sobbing on the rocks by the factory parking lot.

"just needed a little cheering up, that's all." she said, resting her head against toto's arm. "it's been a day. too many emotions for me to handle."

she thought again about liam's text, a stab of pain ricocheting through her heart. she just had to trust that things were going to work themselves out, because sometimes that was the onyl thing that there was to do.

maybe it was time to take fate into her own hands. should she try a dating app? a speed dating event? god forbid she join a singles club.

"nyck just got out the scrabble board." george remarked off handedly. "between the four of us and carmen, i think we could kick some serious scrabble ass, don't you think?"

lewis laughed. "says the guy that only played three letter words last time we played."

"i didn't have y/n on my team." george proclaimed, placing his hands on the intern's shoulders. "she's the smart one here. so what do you say?"

y/n smiled. "deal me in. i'm gonna kick both your asses."

she'd worry about getting a boyfriend later. but for now, she had the best found family she could have ever asked for.

Tags:

@libraryofloveletters @magnummagnussen @sidcrosbyspuck @scuderiamh @diorleclerc @daydreamingleclerc

#mercedes amg petronas #formula one x reader #f1 x reader #f1 imagine #george russell #lewis hamilton #toto wolff #nyck de vries #liam lawson x reader (sort of)#formula 2 #frederik vesti #family are the friends we meet along the way series #Spotify

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preciadosbass · 29 days

Text

23/8/24 [draft from friday — key + significant photos at end]

yay i can finally post this!! woke up at 6:30 and said goodmorning to boris. he was inside again, i think because of how cold it is out. i then got dressed as soon as i could so i was completely ready before the time we had to leave to go away. i put on a light gray low cut shirt, but then started freezing alive so i changed into my sleeping with sirens shirt as it was the only shirt out that i hadn’t already packed. i paired it with black ripped skinny jeans, gray + black striped arm warmers, knee high converse, danger days my chemical romance zip up, my kellin quinn necklace, a surfboard shaped wood carved necklace — and no cuffs/bracelets as this outfit is just to be worn for the car ride to the campus and then ill get changed for swimming.

after getting ready, i had a snack and painted my left hand’s nails with black nail polish. i surprisingly did them pretty neatly to how i usually do it and considering how small my nails are. within a few minutes of them being dried, half of my second smallest nail’s polish came off halfway lmao - i was going to put some more on to cover it up, but i was in a rush and i needed to do my teeth, i finished at 7. i then checked on boris again and replaced the pins on my bag. ive needed to ever since i took a ton off to put onto my jacket. all that’s left now is: incubus pin, spider-man pin, the last of us pin, t-rex pin, saliva pin, kittie pin, shark pin, beetle pin, brendon urie pin, chi cheng pin, soulfly pin, collide with the sky [pierce the veil] pin, and a silent hill pin. which sounds like a lot, but because of the way they’re set out, it dosent look like many. at least not compared to what i’m used to.

once i was done [7:18], i packed my bag. i packed: my camera, skeleton gloves, collage scraps, my collage journal, camera charger, headphone charger, extra bracelets, my spiral earrings, battery packs, my hairbrush, my wallet, hand sanitizer, meds, and my phone charger. after doing that and a few other odd bits around the house [turning off switches, making sure i’ve packed everything, etc] i went to see boris properly at 7:40. i told him about everything that’s going to be going on [who’s taking care of him, that she’s not comfortable letting him out, when we’re getting back, things like that] and said goodbye to him. i finished officially at 8:20. i’m gunna miss him so much while we’re away, but i’m excited to see him again afterwards and tell him everything.

everyone [me, my sister, my parents] got in the car at around the same. unrelated, but i also forgot to mention in yesterdays journal, archie was taken over to my sister’s friends house to be looked after. we set off at 2:30 and i looked through soul punk patrick stump videos along with a few pretty odd era panic! tiktoks. also watched my chemical romance’s song 2 [blur] cover, i don’t know why i haven’t seen this before i’m obsessed. i started journaling at 9:16 and wrote all of the paragraphs above. than at 9:30 i took a break and started listening to some music. [just surrender, fall out boy, gerard way + ray toro, frank iero, falling in reverse, blur, my chemical romance, death of a bachelor panic! at the disco, a static lullaby.]

i had a nap somewhere near 11:30 [on my seal plush] and woke up at around 12:40. i continued listening to music [CKY, HIM, frank iero, darling you should be ashamed, linkin park, lovehatehero, before today, a bullet for a pretty boy [[so underrated]], and sleeping with sirens.] i did so until 1:44 when we arrived at the resort. my dad pulled the car into the drive through place where you get your keycard/folder of leaflets and after driving round to our car park, we started unpacking into the room. on our holiday guide, it said that we could only get in our room at 3, so we were lucky to get in early. as soon as i found me & my sisters room and claimed my bed, and hung up my necklaces on the windows’ handle. along with taking a few things out of my bag + putting cuffs/band bracelets on. we did plan on going to swimming as soon as my extended family arrived, but that ended up not working out as they had to leave late.

i then took out my collage journal and started cutting up the leaflets from the folder into separate letters [etc] to make a collage tomorrow. well i say tomorrow, when i started cutting everything up, i intended for me to put everything together today. [photo at end] but i only got round to collecting the bits of paper i need. i used my stamps to print stars onto a yellow sticky note and took a couple pictures of the leaflets incase we needed anything off them after id cut them up [e.g wifi support]. me, my parents and my sister left for a show and arrived at the venue at 3:12. on the way to the venue, we met up with D [one of my cousins, his girlfriend — L, and her son, W.] we got the time wrong so we thought were really short on time, but it started 20 minutes after we found a table.

first up was a beatboxer, except he made more sound affects than sounds to make into some kind of song. he was also really funny with the way he made and timed the sound affects. it’s impossible for me to explain with unless you were there and saw him, but he was really good. next was four breakdancers, ive never really had much interest in breakdancing, but it was quite cool to watch them. one had come all the way down from japan or something.

after was one of those big hoop acts. there’s not much to say as there’s not much to explain — following on from that, a bmX rider came out and started doing all kinds of crazy tricks. i somewhat remember seeing the show itself around a year ago, but this bmX guy was different than last year. its tricky to explain a bmX show generally, but its even trickier for people to read id they don’t know what it is. so i recommend looking up bmX tricks. once he’d done his thing, a basketballer came onto stage. he was manipulating the ball and circling it around him shoulders etc. behind him was a fake button with “do not push” plastered above it. obviously, it’s a show, he ‘pressed’ the button and everytime another ball would roll out from backstage.

in the end, he was working with 5 different basketballs. it was super impressive. before the show finished, everyone came out and did all their tricks side by side. during the entire show, the beatboxer was singing and making even more sound affects. he actually had a pretty decent voice. at 4:30, after we’d all packed up our stuff and gotten ready to leave and do something else, me, my parents and my sister headed back to our room. D, L and W went off to their rooms aswell. upon getting into our chalet, i went to have a nap but ended up putting on my skates. my sister stuck on hers and we circuited a section of the resort, looking for D’s room. it didn’t take us long before we found it. but during skating around and checking door numbers, i stupidly sped round a corner on the second level of chalets and nearly fell headfirst down a huge staircase.

i assumed that it’d turn and go round the other side, so i could look at the numbers on the other rooms, as a few other of the second story ‘balconys’ or whatever you wanna call them - don’t have stairs and just follow on around the other side. but i was wrong. i slightly toppled down the first two stairs and then grabbed onto my sister’s back. luckily i didn’t make her fall over lmao // at 5:30, all of us [all of my family] went round to our restaurant for dinner. it was a little cheeky of us to even eat together as everyone in the family apart from my parents & sister have reservations for another restaurant.

after dinner, i went back to the room and stayed there for 30 minutes alone before me, my sister and my parents made our way to yet another show. we arrived at the venue and i sat near the front on the floor with my sister. my mum sat on some stairs and my dad stayed standing. it was a magic show, which is quite a complicated thing to explain, especially because i actually didn’t understand how any of the tricks were done, but i enjoyed it. also while the backstage staff were sorting out some more props the start of my generation by limp bizkit played!!

the show finished at 8, and me and my immediate family went round to the rest of the family’s chalets to check them out. i went into the more cousin based one first, the people staying in it were: RY and H, and R and E. i sat on R’s bed and just people watched [mostly] until H offered to paint my right hand’s nails dark purple as id forgotten to paint that hand in black when i was at home. then i went to see the rest of my family’s room. the family members in this chalet are my aunt and uncle, and L/W. when i came in my uncle had a jumper over the radiator and it smelt so bad and was clearly just about to light on fire. i went back into the cousin’s room/s and went to see E and see what she was doing.

she was applying gems to her eyelids with some kind of makeup glue. she asked if i wanted some and i agreed so she sat me down and gently glued the gems onto my face. [photo at end] when she was done and if verified i was happy with it, i went back to my room to quickly get something — i’m not sure what it was as im writing this on the 27th. when i got back at 9:10, we had to leave for another show. we walked across the resort and arrived at the venue to get ourselves some seats. me and E tried taking pictures of our gemmed-up eyelids together but wasn’t able to because of bad lighting. the show was advertised as a ‘rock’ festival, however the music that played was things like lizzo and ed sheeran.

i was kind of disappointed because i thought it’d be punk rock or something else i would be able to sing along to, but it was funny that we were catfished so bad. me and R just sat there making faces for eachother, indicating that ‘this isn’t rock, wtf is this’ - the performance ended at 10:20 and we went straight to another venue to join in with a ‘music dance party.’ as you can imagine, the music was dance music, but i like dance music. i somewhat danced with my grandad, E and R. R spun me around and my sister stayed swaying across the dance floor with my dad. [photo at end]

i haven’t really ever seen my dad dance before, but his favourite ‘party’ track came on and he went mad. he was doing all sorts of weird dance moves but it was cracking me up. if only whoever is reading this saw it in the moment. we parted with the rest of the family and went back to the chalet at approximately 11:30. i started to do a bit of my journal, made a picture collage of the day, and had a little nap. after my nap, i asked my parents questions about boris, said goodnight to boris via a picture of him [the picture in question is at the end] and went to sleep at 1:45.

🗝️ — boris/my cat, archie/my immediate family’s dog, questions about boris/i ask my parents questions about my cat to verify he's okay + will be okay in the morning. its a compulsive thing and i'm hopefully going to be tested for OCD in the future.

have a good day/night O_o

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