#I also like Java Monster Energy

[i-set-my-autism-on-fire]

Caramel frappe extra extra extra caramel

As long as it's cold and sweet and caramel I'll probably love it

hi everybody please reblog this and tell me your go-to coffee order right now and if you don't like coffee feel free to include your go-to tea order instead

[bearieio]

ellie w. hcs :3

bc im seeing them everywhere and i need to put in my 2¢. thank you. (also not proofread :P)

⋆ biggest hayley kiyoko fan for like 3 years (the intro to ‘girls like girls’ was her ringtone when she was 14). would beg joel to take her to random record stores that they passed by just to see if they had any hayley kiyoko cds.

⋆ because of joel, she listens to a lot of 70s-90s dad rock. 

⋆ can’t drive for shit. like literally she’s not allowed to drive without her glasses

⋆ she needs glasses btw. she doesn’t wear them because she’s already too much of a loser. but when she does where them, you tease her endlessly about them. 

⋆ can and will sleep on the floor whenever prompted. no blankets, no pillows needed. just her and the floor.

⋆ isn’t allowed to drink any sort of energy drinks on account of a previous incident that had to do with about 3 cans of redbull and 2 large cans of the ‘Java Monster.’

⋆ isn’t allowed to own small pets (like gerbils, guinea pigs, hamsters, etc.) because she’d definitely forget about them. 

⋆ owns big dogs. great danes, newfoundlands, irish wolfhounds, mastiffs, st bernards, YOU NAME IT, SHE HAS IT (or has had it)

⋆ when she’s older, i feel like she’d be like one of those white people who has 192793999 dogs for no reason 

⋆ since her mannerisms are so much like joels, you guys argue playfully all the time about how things should be done, often bringing others into it too. 

“jesse, tell her!” he flips her phone screen around to reveal a very tired jesse, “it’s 1AM, ellie-“ 

“TELL HER!” 

⋆ i feel like at random times, she’ll just grab your boob(s). i don’t know why and you’ve never said anything about it, so she hasn’t stopped…… very handsy….

⋆ audibly goes “honk honk!” almost every time she gives ‘em a squeeze.

⋆ she’s a really sloppy kisser. not like boy-sloppy, but like the hot, messy, girl sloppy bc that sounds better and honestly i think her kisses would be the best.

⋆ she was one of those kids who’d eat dirt and find bugs all the time

because of this, she’s the designated bug killer/bug-getter-outter…. idk

⋆ she’s the worst drunk you know.

like literally sssoooooooooo messy oh my god. but you love her nonetheless :)

she’s soo clingy, and, touchy (like more than usual), but also much more emotional and sensitive than usual when she’s drunk or when she’s sick.

⋆ ellie tends to be quite difficult when she’s sick. BUT! you make it work bc you love her and she loves you :>

when you bring ellie her favorite drink from her favorite coffee shop, you literally have to fight her to be able to get out the front door. when you get up to serve her lunch, you’ve got to peel her off of you because she refuses to let you leave her side. when you go and get the medicine she says she doesn’t need…. you guessed it, she fights for you to stay in bed next to her.

“babe, what if i die right here, when you leave- like- BABE PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME-“ she bewails, crossing her arms and huffing at the sight of you leaving her.

⋆ when you catch her playing her guitar, she sometimes gets all shy and plays the wrong chords n stuff. 

“don’t LOOK! >:(” she says, gripping the body of her guitar, glaring in your direction.

“oh!- okay” you say, throwing your hands up in a playful manner, giggling. 

⋆ but the times where she’s not shy about playing in front of you, she’ll ask you if you want to play.

“do you uh- maybe wanna play? i could teach you” she suggests, gesturing toward the stringed instrument.

but then after, she’d tease you about your finger placement :(

“i said the fourth fret, girl, not the second, or, the third!” she says, in between laughs.

“well fourth from the top or the bottom?!” you scoffed, looking at her, still puzzled.

she knows your trying your best but it’s still fun to poke at you when she can >:)

constructive criticism is appreciated !!!

[ladystardustblack]

the Monster energy drinks I think each Marauder would drink

Sirius: I feel like it’d be expected that he drinks the original, but he totally drinks ultra strawberry dreams because it’s pink and more unexpected. (Drinks the white can when he feels like switching up)

Remus: The Java Mean Bean because Sirius once got it for him when he was up late studying, “A mean bean for my mean bean…get it?” He’s also convinced there’s extra caffeine in them. (can be seen drinking the original too, honestly as long as he has a beverage)

Peter: pipeline punch bc he needs to grow the fuck up

James: Drinks the juices because “they’re juice they must be healthier” (they’re not, and Remus rolls his eyes every time)

[ramenwaitr3ss]

Don’t know if this has been done before- but-

What I personally think the redacted boys and listeners favorite monster flavor would be.

The boi’s first^^

David: either the regular or the Java monster, I feel like he wouldn’t drink them avidly but he’d drink them if he needed to get something done if he didn’t have enough energy.

Asher: Green or the Fruit juice one. He likes the combo of sweet and sour so usually he’ll pick depending on the mood lol.

Milo: I don’t think they sell them anymore- but monster had a tea brand for a little bit and they weren’t half bad to me personally, so I think he’d like the green tea monster a lot^^ and he definitely was upset when they stopped selling them, so now he just drinks any of the coffee ones.

Sam: Darlin’ had to get him to try one, and it was the white one so once every blue moon he’ll get the white one and drink it.

Vincent: either the Strawberry lemonade one or gold. I am firm on them, and he had a short phase in drinking monster for a little while.

Porter: Gold. No explanation needed.

Gavin: Rosa, he likes it because 1. It’s fucking pink 2. It’s fizzy, I have a personal headcannon that Gavin and Caelum love any carbonated drink because they like the fizz lol.

Damien: he doesn’t drink them. He drinks redbull.

Huxley: the mango one^^ you can never go wrong with a classic, and he sometimes drinks them before going to the gym.

Lasko: Orange, it taste like starbursts to him and he’ll drink it like his life depends on it.

Listeners^^

Angel: Any of the coffee ones, they are a life line for them. When working they always have one on hand, when they are gaming, they always have one on hand, when they are doing chores- THEY ALWAYS HAVE ONE ON HAND.

Baabe: Any of the rehab flavors, or just the regular one, they don’t really drink them unless they need to key in on something important.

Sweetheart: Gold, because it fits their aesthetic✨✨

Darlin: they will drink any flavor as long as it gets the job done.

Lovely: The purple one. They also would make battery acid 100%.

Treasure: The Aussie Lemonade, I don’t know why.

Freelancer: They mostly drink the Strawberry lemonade one as well, but they personally really love ultra black. And they have ordered a pack of them on several occasions they just never last long for them😭

Co-worker: They don’t drink energy drinks😭

These are personal headcannons lol, let me know what you think!!

[nightmareofdepravity]

This Is Me

Name: Accacio Nightmare Birthday: February 17th Age: Twenty-nine going on Thirty Pronouns: He/Him Location: Hell aka Texas Occupation: Unemployed but waiting to rejoin Amazon. While I'm waiting for that. I am helping my family prepare their house so they can move out at the beginning of February. Pets: I own a little puppy named Butter and he is such a good boy. Children: I have one although he's not a child anymore. He's a 19-year-old. I'm not his biological parent or anything. It's hard to explain it because anyone who hasn't had a life online won't understand it. I took him under my wing when I met him and have stood by him ever since. He doesn't have a good mom so I've always tried to be that parent he deserved. I want more kids for sure though. I would love to raise a little baby all the way up to a promising adult. Sexuality: Questioning but definitely attracted to all genders. ⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺ My Interests: Writing, Reading, Fanfiction, Gaming, Cooking, Recipes, Photography, Psychology, Mental Illnesses and Disorders, Witchy Stuff, Animals, Natural Disasters, Binge watching TV Shows, PS5 gaming, PC gaming, Poems, Books, Wattpad, FanFiction.Net, Wolves, Supernatural, Paranormal, Weed, Vaping, Doodling, Singing horribly, Computers, Social Media, Smut, Shipping Fictional Characters, and so on.

Likes: Everything in my interests, Loyalty, Humor, Intelligence, Creativity, IMVU, Discord, Tumblr, Texting, Typing, I prefer physical books over digital but sometimes in a busy life It's easier to read on a phone than to read an actual book, Short hair on me, Thoughtfulness, Adaptability, Resilience, Alcohol, Soda, Carbonated water but not all of them, Snow, Cold Weather, The North, and so on. Dislikes: Assholes, Liars, Cheaters, Over-Opinionated people, Closedmindedness, Hot Weather, The South, Discriminators, Trump, Phone calls (I get anxiety from them but I do enjoy Voice calls which I still get anxiety from), Unreliable people, Abusive people, How much family tends to let down SOOO many people, Pepsi, and so on. ⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺ FAVORITES Food: Steak, Chicken, Pasta, Cheese, Chinese, Meat, etc. Beverages: Coca-Cola, Fruity sodas (Faygo, Sunkist, Fanta, etc), Apple Juice, Monster Energy, Monster Javas, Rockstar, Most Fruit Juice, etc. Alcoholic Beverages: Mike's Hard Lemonades, Screwdrivers, Long Island Ice Teas, Twisted Teas, Smirnoffs, Fireball, Vodka, etc. Animals: Wolves, Snakes, Frogs, Dogs, Cats, Lizards, Bats, Raccoons, etc. Colors: Black, Red, Green, and Purple. Social Media: Discord, Tumblr, Instagram, and Lemon8. ⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺ If you want to learn more about me just message or comment. I'm here not just to express myself but maybe to also make some new friends. I'm sure we can easily find something in common and If not I'm typically very adaptable to most people.

[dipps-sipps]

Monster Java Irish blend coffee and energy drink. That’s a name. Gonna review it cuz I drank this

Green can that has the monster logo front and center. There’s scratch mark decals on the can

I went to a lock-in meetup and need caffeine but didn’t want to drink a straight up energy drink. So I did this

It tastes like non alcoholic Baileys Irish cream but sweeter. That’s it. Doesn’t feel any healthier than baileys. Has a slight cheap corn syrup taste. I think I’d drink baileys out of a can if they sold it.

If you’ve never had baileys before, it’s a creamy but slightly bitter drink that has a mild chocolate-y flavor (no idea if there’s chocolate in it, but there’s an illusion of one). It’s got a thick consistency similar to heavy cream. If you’ve never had baileys I do recommend trying it with coffee. With that in mind this turns out to be an alright can of coffee (though sweet like most monster drinks).

I didn’t give this to anyone else cuz I was driving.

I recommend this if you need caffeine but don’t like most energy drinks, but also for some reason don’t wanna just drink normal coffee.

A-

Baileys is still better than this, and Irish car bombs and Guinness are better than baileys

[faersflower]

I have more thoughts on m*rri*ge than expected

[disposablepersonnel]

what your favorite monster drink says about you:

original (black): youre either an alt girl who likes tik tok or a kinda wannabe dudebroish 18-25 year old man who owns something with the monster logo on it. youre a bit basic but thats ok

zero ultra (white): oh god im so sorry. im sorry. i hope you can get therapy soon. im so sorry oh my god

pipeline punch (pink): you have daddy issues and you cant help but to go stupid over cute pink drinks. you probably like mixing cutesy girly aesthetic with silent hill games and gore. mentally ill but cute

java: youre either a cool edgy depressed kid who used to mix zero ultra with coffee or youre a middle aged man who is young enough to want monster instead of coffee but also old enough to want coffee instead of energy drinks and is pretty normal

other monster drinks dont exist with a person attached to them probably

[starblazerm31]

The Arcana HC Main 6 As Retail Workers

So I’ve worked retail the majority of my working life.  Took things I’ve seen and applied it to the characters of The Arcana.

Asra

He's that one guy who gets along with (almost) everybody.

Works hard, moves with ungodly speed.

Leaves pranks scattered around the back room.  Waits patiently for a yelp followed by a "Dammit, Asra!!"

Did Asra just clear that pallet in fifteen minutes?!  Yes, he did.

Customers love him.  He's very helpful and polite, even to Karens...ESPECIALLY to Karens

He's one of those guys who knows exactly where everything in the store is.

He's also that guy who is ALWAYS stoned at work, but no one can tell.

Takes longer breaks than he should, but no one cares because he's so damn good at his job

Brings an amazing homecooked lunch.

Started laying down heavy spices on it when it started to get stolen.

It didn't get stolen again.

Nadia

She's the general manager.

God level customer service skills.  Her store's surveys are always overflowing with positive customer satisfaction scores.

She's one of those rare gems of a boss who gets work done but also retains the respect of her team.

Her store looks immaculate.

She's kinda stern on dress code.  You represent this store, you gotta look sharp.  Did you even comb your hair today?  Wash your face?  Brush your teeth? ��She notices.

Karens beware.  She can see through your shit.

She doesn't tolerate customers abusing her team members.  You're yelling at an employee?  No reason is a good reason, but there had better actually be a problem.  Otherwise, enjoy your store ban.

Takes care of her team.  We have a really big sale coming up that is expected to fill the store with customers.  Amazing food and ALL THE SODA will be provided in the break room.  Enjoy!  Hey, you seem really down today.  Do you need to talk?  Let's go to my office where you can vent.

Asra, Julian, this is the second time I've caught you two loafing.  Please get back to work.

Actually gets out there and works with her team.  It's a truck day?  Nadia is out there pushing stock with them.  The cash registers are backed up?  She logs on and starts ringing people up.

Doesn't take District's bull.  No, that's a terrible plan for my store.  Why?  Because it impedes on *proceeds to list a mile and a half's reasons as to why corporate's new plan is a terrible idea*

Julian

He's not fast, but he sure is efficient.

He's one of the guys always having to take huge items to customers' cars.

One of the best in sales.  He knows tons of random facts about tons of things in the store, is good with people, and is honest.  Yeah...you might not want that one, honestly.  This one is made by a better manufacturer, has really positive ratings on Amazon, and comes with a warranty.

Is the guy most likely to reply "I'm with a customer, can someone else get that for me?" when called on the walkie.

Smokes (Vapes) with Asra and Muriel during lunch and after work.

Can always be found on top of a ladder in the back room.

Never seems to stop moving...  It is said that only Nadia has seen Julian loaf.  But then again, Nadia sees everything.

There are five Monster Javas in the break room fridge.  They are all Julian's.  Ah, so THERE's where that energy comes from...

Works here part/full time while going to med school.  Damn, dude.

Is usually the recipient of Asra's pranks.

Gets constantly asked if he can pull something down from a high shelf by a customer/fellow employee.

Muriel

The other guy hauling big items to people's cars.

Head of the truck line.  Dude can toss boxes like no one else.

Knows that the store would indeed be fucked without him (And Nadia is painfully aware of this too), so he loafs and hides when he feels like it.

Tries not to interact with customers much.  When he has to, he does so begrudgingly.  He'll tell them what they need to know, then shuffle away quickly.

Can usually be found high up on a lift, fiddling with something or bringing down a huge pallet from back stock.

The master of spill cleaning.

He's the powerhouse that comes on to the sales floor with two huge pallets of dogfood stacked as tall as he is, and he still manages to get it all stocked on the shelves before anyone really notices.

If he doesn't know where something is, he is quick to hand the customer off to another team member...the thing is, he knows where everything in the store is.  Muriel...

He is the guy who is really mysterious to other co-workers.  They will huddle together in groups and titter about him while watching him lift something really heavy.

Hangs out with Asra a lot, and knows exactly where he hid his pranks.

He and Asra take way too many tok-erm-smoke breaks.

Portia

Works the customer service desk.

Super polite to everyone, but salty enough to use that politeness to make Karens look like idiots.

Takes care of her cashiers.  She makes sure they have enough change, enough rolls of receipt tape, and keeps up with each one's break periods.

She allows the cashiers to keep a drink at their register, as long as they don't drink in front of customers.

No one stands around bored.  There really is plenty to do.  Restock the candy and gum.  Wipe down your register.  No one likes a gunky pin pad.

Is usually the one making all the calls on the walkie.

Multitasking queen.  Ringing up refunds while calling for carry-outs on the walkie AND taking phone calls?  Yes, Portia can.

Complaints come to Portia before they go to Nadia.

Like Julian, she never seems to stop moving...

Store re-shop (the stuff people leave lying around and return for refunds) gets sorted quickly and efficiently.  And she makes sure the store team know when they have re-shop for their department.

Keeps up with store goals.  Sales goals, credit card sign-ups, website referrals, everything.

Lucio

Assistant Manager.

No one can freaking stand him.

When he leaves, you can guarantee one of the team members is hissing "Man, I swear I'm gonna quit, this is BULLSHIT!"

Best salesman on the floor (pretty much the only reason he still has this job), and he makes sure everyone knows it.  Your customer bought the vacuum and bags?  Cute.  I got a lady to buy a 60" HD flatscreen, video cables, sound system, AND sold three-year warranties on them all.  Mmmm...smell that commission.

He's that manager that can completely demoralize a good situation.  You got all the stock put out an hour and a half early?  Good job, guys!  Now get to work on the new displays for the month.  And remember...I'll be checking on each of you to point out your mistakes.

When he's not oppressing the store team, he can usually be found in his office browsing his phone.

The only reason he doesn't hand out pointless write-ups like candy is because Nadia won't let him.

The Karen asskisser.

The intended recipient of Asra's pranks.

Tried to get Asra, Muriel, and Julian in trouble for smoking, but Nadia quickly told him that they did more work and held more influence in this store than he ever would.  In short...they weren't replaceable.  He was.

Was the person stealing Asra's lunch.  Spent the rest of the day running to the bathroom.  He never touched Asra's lunch again.

@bazzpop @alongtherailway @i-am-arcana-trash @count-lucios-titties @ilyasterisk @apprentice-grace @arcanathots @arcanamemes @the-arcana-fluff-and-stuff @ryanthatsgay

[dabi0118]

it describes me 😌🤚

What is a kins? I like frogs and sweatpants too.

stop im also a kenma kinnie and basically most of these but its monster energy and monster java 😭

[sweeterlink]

Monster Java ~ Drink Review ~

So for the longest time I avoided the absolute fuck outta Monster energy drinks. The caffeine component scary, yes, but also it’s associated with tall skinny white boys named Kyle who have anger issues and punch holes through walls. 

It maybe just a meme, but it’s odd how I once knew a Kyle in middle school who, while was friendly to me and my friends, actually beat up kids by slamming them into lockers.

So yeah, I started to drink it after working at a shitty Shell gas station for a few months. Because over a span of a few months, I noticed that it seemed a lot of people drink Monster, and because Monster Java is coffee, I was like, hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

And I also really appreciate the look and feel of the can.

I have tried each flavor of Java Monster at least once, and I will base my review off of the first time I’ve had each~

Loca Moca:

I was pleasantly surprised by this. It was my first time ever having Monster, and I didn’t really expect much. But I found this, at least compared to some canned or bottled coffee, to have a fuller and richer flavor. You don’t get that energy-drink taste in this, and it’s honestly really good. This is easily one of my favorite flavors of Java Monster.

On a side note, I really like the descriptions they write on the can. The aggressive anti-soy latte, imma-real-man-when-I-drink-this-because-grrrrrrrr-it-is-for-men made me laugh. Like okee whatever Imma drink this and have my overpriced Starbucks coffee because both good or whateva.

Swiss Chocolate

This was the second flavor I had, and I thought overall that while this is good, this wasn’t as good as the Loca Moca. I also think it partially has to do with the fact that maybe I have first bias. 

Because I didn’t have an expectation with the Loca Moca, or had less of one at least. And because I am going into this drink with already having Java Monster, I think I had somewhat of an expectation that wasn’t there the first drink.

Kona Blend

Hands. Down. The best flavor of Java Monster, and dat on periodt.

I never really see this in stores either so when I do I be like snatch. I never had Hawaiian coffee, but this good.

If you haven’t had this yet, you’re missing out.

Irish Blend

This one was one that I thought I was going to like more than I did. For me, it’s a bit light, but I think Irish cream as a flavor is a lighter cream compared to others. I tend to like richer sweets. So, I think it more me than the flavor, because it’s good, just not something I’d have too often.

Farmer’s Oats (Made with Oat Milk)

This one is ew.

It just, if you think of what an old, musty barn with hay all over the place, especially on the second story loft, and you make that into a coffee flavor, that’s what this is.

It’s nice bc it’s healthier, but it just for me ew. I had to make myself drink it all. This I will never have again. I don’t regret trying it, but I just won’t ever have it ever again.

Mocha and French Vanilla (aka Monster on Steroids)

These ones tasted exactly like other flavors, but on steroids. The left one is like the Loca Moca, and the left tastes like Mean Bean. The only different is that they are both a bit lighter and are almost guaranteed to give you a heart attack.

Mean Bean

This one for some reason tasted different than I thought it would taste like(?) Like it’s vanilla, but I expected it to be more caramel for some reason. I thought it tasted good, but maybe because I know what Java Monster tastes like more, I was more neutral to this flavor.

Vanilla Light

This one tastes like Mean Bean Lite™. I feel pretty neutral about this flavor, but I think I prefer the Mean Bean and the Salted Caramel itself over this one. 

Salted Caramel

This one is pretty good too. I would have again, but only when I’m in the mood. Not because of Java Monster, but because Salted Caramel is a flavor I have only when I am in the specific mood for it. It just is for a specific mood, you know.

So my top three, probably are...

-Kona Blend

-Loca Moca

-Swiss Chocolate or Mean Bean for some reason

This, ladies and gentleman, concludes my Monster Java review~ 

I hope you all have a lovely day/night~

[noxtrolls]

An intersex violet blood who loves history and reading, plus a little bit of cooking on the side. Quite shy and pretty anxious but a huge cuddlebug for whoever she opens up to. Ideal date would probably be somewhere peaceful, secluded, and quiet such as a park or her personal library, while sitting close to her partner and telling each other about theirselves. Though she's only seven sweeps so... Friends? Unless you have any 17- trolls as well! (All quadrants open)

ksjdnfs i have SEVERAL muses but all the ones on this blood are 9 sweeps or older! so i’ll be listing whether they’d be friends or not!!

adlyra; absolutely definitely! adlyra’s quite soft and sweet herself but she’s not really nervous at all so she’d be able to carry the conversation as much as your violet needed her to. and while she does love loud social places, she also needs time to relax and wind down from all that, so hanging out somewhere calm and quiet would be awesome for that! a SOLID 9/10 friendship meter at least

ailidh; i can see ailidh being friends with her too! she’s not very shy either, but shes not boisterous like adlyra is either, shes v calm and peaceful when not provoked. + she loves to read because its all there is to do in the woods on rainy days so?? book club?? yes?? 8/10, lower because ailidh CAN be combative sometimes whereas adlyra is completely docile

nykaam; mmmmaaaaaybe? it would depend on how theyre introduced. nyk is anxious around strangers but it manifests less as nervousness and more as being cold-shouldered? he’s a little bit of a bitch sometimes. but if a common interest is introduced at some point i can definitely see them just chillin and talking about stuff! 5/10

yutahn: almost definitely not :’) yu is always running on like. a monster java with 5 hour energy in it. and thats his natural state of being ksbdfs PLUS he is a rebel so highbloods are automatically on his shitlist until proven to be an allyif your violet could convince him that shes a friend and not a foe they could get along in theory, but i think he’s a bit too rough around the edges to really mesh with her well!! 2/10 with him curse my gremlin son

[eddycurrents]

For the week of 22 April 2019

Quick Bits:

A Walk Through Hell #9, like many issues before it, does its damnedest to break your mind. Garth Ennis, Goran Sudžuka, Ive Svorcina, and Rob Steen continue to deliver one of the best horror stories every month that just seems to get stranger and more complex with each subsequent chapter. This issue yanks the rug out from under us.

| Published by AfterShock

Action Comics #1010 raises a million and one more questions as to what’s actually going on with Leviathan and whether some things are supposed to be clues or if Brian Michael Bendis is just changing continuity. Maybe a little of both. Stellar art from Steve Epting and Brad Anderson who continue to deliver a solid mood and atmosphere for this espionage-heavy story.

| Published by DC Comics

Amazing Spider-Man #20 changes the game a bit as Black Ant reveals more of what Kraven has planned. Wonderful art from Humberto Ramos, Victor Olazaba, Edgar Delgado, and Erick Arciniega.

| Published by Marvel

Amber Blake #2 has some incredible artwork from Butch Guice as this action-packed thriller continues. Some interesting twists that ultimately are going to be crushing when they come to light.

| Published by IDW

Ascender #1 is pretty damn great. Jeff Lemire, Dustin Nguyen, and Steve Wands kick-off this follow-up to Descender with what feels like a complete counterpoint to its hard science fiction. This delves deep into a universe taken over by magic and vampires, with technology either gone or kept under strict control. Even the art has shifted tone, from the dark inkiness from before to a greater reliance on white spaces here, to give it a different visual aesthetic. 

| Published by Image

Avengers #18 is a single issue story, tying in to The War of the Realms, spotlighting Coulson’s new Squadron Supreme of America (it’s unclear as to whether these are new versions or existing ones being manipulated, but there’s shadowy shenanigans), from Jason Aaron, Ed McGuinness, Mark Morales, Justin Ponsor, and Cory Petit. Marvel’s Justice League analogue just got their Max Lord.

| Published by Marvel

Bad Luck Chuck #2 sees Chuck recount some of her cases and a bit of how her “powers” work, while forces around her conspire to bring her down. Nice character building from Lela Gwenn with some great artwork from Matthew Dow Smith and Kelly Fitzpatrick.

| Published by Dark Horse

Batgirl #34 begins “Terrible”, the three-part finale to Mairghread Scott, Paul Pelletier, Norm Rapmund, Jordie Bellaire, and AndWorld Design’s run on the title. Some nice detective work here as the Terrible Trio hatch a new plan.

| Published by DC Comics

Black Panther #11 builds off of last issue’s shock turn and the direct involvement of Bast as we get some answers about the Intergalactic Empire of Wakanda and some of the machinations that are unfolding. The art from Kev Walker, Marc Deering, and Java Tartaglia continues to be a highlight.

| Published by Marvel

Coda #11 gears up for next issue’s finale as Murk unveils another stage in her plan and Hum does something incredibly stupid. This has been one of my favourite series over the past year and the build to the conclusion is wonderful. Absolutely phenomenal work from Si Spurrier, Matías Bergara, Michael Doig, and Jim Campbell.

| Published by BOOM! Studios

Criminal #4 tells a haunting single issue story of a very messed up day in the life of Ricky Lawless. I love the mosaic that Ed Brubaker, Sean Phillips, and Jacob Phillips are crafting out of these different time periods, building something larger out of an already sprawling world.

| Published by Image

Dark Red #2 takes an interesting turn as Chip is given a pitch to become the face of a new American heartland vampire nation. Interesting to see how racism also extends through to vampires. Very entertaining stuff from Tim Seeley, Corin Howell, Mark Englert, and Marshall Dillon.

| Published by AfterShock

Detective Comics #1002 continues “Medieval” with some really great art from Brad Walker, Andrew Hennessy, and Nathan Fairbairn. There’s a weight and gravity to the art that elevate the story nicely. Also, it’s interesting to see an antagonist who thinks that he’s a hero above Batman, especially as he goes about trying to recruit Damian. It should be interesting to see who Arkham Knight is under the mask.

| Published by DC Comics

Dial H for Hero #2 is probably even better than the first issue, and the first issue was one of the most fun debuts I’ve read in a while. Sam Humphries, Joe Quinones, Jordan Gibson, and Dave Sharpe capture a zany energy amidst the real, emotional drama that the kids are experiencing and it leads to some highly entertaining storytelling. Also, the art is phenomenal. Quinones is really stretching his artistic muscles, throwing in incredible different styles as the heroes emerge. This issue gives us pastiches of Dragonball Z and Gundam Wing and the transformation is amazing, the entire creative team perfectly capturing the style.

| Published by DC Comics / Wonder Comics

Doctor Strange #13 continues to force Galactus into the world of magic, delving further into some familiar faces from Strange’s past, in the second part of “Herald Supreme” from Mark Waid, Barry Kitson, Scott Koblish, Scott Hanna, Brian Reber, and Cory Petit.

| Published by Marvel

Fearscape #5 concludes what has been a highly ambitious, inventive series from Ryan O’Sullivan, Andrea Mutti, Vladimir Popov, and Andworld Design. Sadly, Henry Henry doesn’t get punched in the dick, repeatedly, but there are some tragic twists that change the landscape.

| Published by Vault

The Forgotten Queen #3 delivers more of Vexana’s history, revealing she’s responsible for Dracula in the Valiant universe, along with a few other twists. I’m really liking Amilcar Pinna and Ulises Arreola’s art here. The odd angles adding something unique to the feel of the story.

| Published by Valiant

Invisible Kingdom #2 sees G. Willow Wilson, Christian Ward, and Sal Cipriano continue to build a richly developed, intriguing world essentially founded upon a bedrock of an Amazon analogue, both in support of and opposition to. Gorgeous artwork from Ward.

| Published by Dark Horse / Berger Books

Justice League Dark #10 outlines the Lords of Order’s plans for the multiverse and magic and why they’re initiating an assault on all of the magic wielders. James Tynion IV is doing some rather impressive world-building and story seeding all throughout his work, but it really comes to a head in this series. Also, the art from Alvaro Martínez Bueno, Raul Fernandez, and Brad Anderson continues to be impeccable.

| Published by DC Comics

KINO #15 begins a new arc, tackling some messy current events throughout Europe in a rather interesting fashion. Alex Paknadel, Diego Galindo, Valentina Pinto, and Jim Campbell did some amazing things reinterpreting KINO in the last arc, delivering an intriguing thriller, and that doesn’t seem to be letting up any with this new arc. The politics and the manipulation are at an all time high and this is something you really don’t want to miss.

| Published by Lion Forge / Catalyst Prime

The Lollipop Kids #5 is the final battle between the kids and Morgan Le Fay and her army of monsters for all the lollipops. This has been an imaginative series from Adam Glass, Aidan Glass, Diego Yapur, DC Alonso, and Sal Cipriano with consistently some of the most beautiful art in comics. There’s a hint of what’s to come and I hope we see more of this story in the future.

| Published by AfterShock

Punk Mambo #1 is another great debut of a limited series for Valiant spotlighting one of their less used, but highly interesting characters from Cullen Bunn, Adam Gorham, José Villarrubia, and Dave Sharpe. The set up for supernatural intrigue delving into Voodoo belief is very entertaining, with some impressive artwork from Gorham and Villarrubia.

| Published by Valiant

Queen of Bad Dreams #1 is another highly imaginative, impressive debut for Vault. This time spotlighting a world where dreams can jump from the mind of the dreamer into the real world. Danny Lore, Jordi Pérez, Dearbhla Kelly, and Kim McLean offer up some interesting, fleshed-out characters in Daher and Viv, that elevate this from just a unique take on a police procedural to greater interpersonal drama. Also, a mystery that’s going to hook you immediately.

| Published by Vault

Spawn #296 features some absolutely stunning artwork from Jason Shawn Alexander, FCO Plascencia, and Greg Menzie for this first part of “History of Spawn” as the march to the 300th issue gets closer and the stakes get raised as the powers that loom through Spawn’s life gather to try to put an end to him. 

| Published by Image

Star Trek: Year Five #1 to me feels like it has perfectly captured the spirit of the original series, delving deep into Star Trek lore and pulling forth a captivating story that showcases a lot of what made the television show great. Jackson Lanzing, Collin Kelly, Stephen Thompson, Charlie Kirchoff, and Neil Uyetake are off to a great start.

| Published by IDW

Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge #1, like Tie Fighter from last week, is a tie-in to some of the new stuff in the broader Star Wars universe with some new characters and locations. In this case it ties in to the new attraction opening at the Disney theme parks. This first issue introduces us to the seedy underbelly of the world shortly before The Force Awakens, from Ethan Sacks, Will Sliney, Dono Sánchez-Almara, Protobunker, and Travis Lanham, weaving in an entertaining flashback with the familiar faces of Han Solo and Chewbacca. 

| Published by Marvel

Stone Star #2 is as impressive as the debut issue, developing a couple more complex characters and spinning forth a political situation that makes the arena world of the Stone Star itself a bit more suspect. Jim Zub, Max Dunbar, Espen Grundetjern, and Marshall Dillon are telling a tale here that really shouldn’t be missed.

| Published by Swords & Sassery

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles #93 is part one of “City at War” from Kevin Eastman, Bobby Curnow, Tom Waltz, Dave Wachter, Ronda Pattison, and Shawn Lee. It’s mostly a gathering storm as the forces prepare for the oncoming onslaught, with an absolutely harrowing spark to kick off the conflict.

| Published by IDW

Thanos #1 begins a new mini from Tini Howard, Ariel Olivetti, Antonio Fabela, and Joe Caramagna that offers up a look at the formative years of Thanos raising Gamora, along with other bits of early history. This first issue paints a rather intriguing picture of Thanos as a deranged serial killer, building his own Winchester House out of his space station, which certainly is a different take.

| Published by Marvel

Wizard Beach #5 brings an end to this fun series from Shaun Simon, Conor Nolan, George Schall, Chad Lewis, Meg Casey, and Mike Fiorentino. It’s wonderful to see Hex learn and grow these past couple of issues and we get an interesting resolution to the nefarious schemes that were popping up on the beach.

| Published by BOOM! Studios

Other Highlights: Black Widow #4, Books of Magic #7, Delver #3, Dick Tracy Forever #1, Elvira: The Shape of Elvira #2, Fantastic Four #9, Fight Club 3 #4, Firefly #5, The Flash #69, Freedom Fighters #5, Ghost Tree #1, Ghostbusters 35th Anniversary Special: Extreme, GI Joe: Sierra Muerte #3, Goddess Mode #5, Hardcore #5, Invader Zim #42, Ironheart #5, Jughead: The Hunger vs. Vampironica #1, Little Girls, Mae #12, Marvel Comics Presents #4, Mighty Morphin Power Rangers #38, Princeless Book 8: Princesses #1, Punks Not Dead: London Calling #3, The Realm #13, Redneck #19, The Replacer, Rick & Morty #49, Runaways #20, Sex - Volume 6: World Hunger, Sharkey: Bounty Hunter #3, The Silencer #16, Star Trek Waypoint Special 2019, Star Wars: Doctor Aphra #31, Star Wars: Vader - Dark Visions #3, Superb #19, Superior Spider-Man #5, Turok #3, Venom #13, The Warning #6, The Wicked + The Divine #43, Wonder Woman #69

Recommended Collections: Aliens: Dead Orbit, Backstagers - Volume 3, Black Order: Warmasters of Thanos, Despicable Deadpool, Dick Tracy: Dead or Alive, Exorsisters - Volume 1, Fissure - Volume 1, Full Bleed - Volume 3, Jessica Jones: Purple Daughter, KINO - Volume 3: The Man in the Iron Mask, Livewire - Volume 1: Fugitive, Marvel Action: Avengers - Book 1, Marvel Knights, Scarlet - Volume 1, Shuri - Volume 1: The Search for Black Panther, Supergirl - Volume 1: The Killers of Krypton, Unstoppable Wasp: Fix Everything, Venom - Volume 2, The Warning - Volume 1

d. emerson eddy likes lemon cranberry muffins.

[iamnotawomanimagod]

trying to quit drinking Monster Java energy drinks because they definitely aren't helping my stomach issues, but also every single shopping service I use (Amazon, Walmart, DoorDash, etc) has Monster Java drinks as one of my most-purchased items so whenever I go to buy anything else, the company selling me shit is like "hey. don't you want a tasty coffee drink?"

and I'm bad at telling myself "no" so while I can push through the first three or four times usually by the fifth or sixth I give in

[lovemesomesurveys]

Do you think the sound of rain is soothing? Yesss. Have you ever eavesdropped on someones conversation? Yeah. Do you still play the slugbug no slugbug back game? No. Honestly, I don’t recall the last time I even saw a Volkswagon. Has anyone ever told you to grow up? No. Have you ever had a staring contest with a pet? xP It’s fun! lol yeah. I do that with my doggo sometimes.

When you were little did you measure yourself alot to see how much you grew? No. Do you always win or lose at the silence game? I think I was the one who lost first. Have you ever tried to read in the dark? Yes. Don’t recommend. Have you ever felt guilty when someone close to you died? I felt that way when my dog, Brandie, passed away. I felt like we could have done more. Don’t you hate it when u start to feel hungry just after u brushed ur teeth? Yes. Have you ever ate a bug? Certainly not intentionally. Have you ever got a piece of glass stuck in your foot? No. Do you think apple jacks is a good cereal? Yes. Wow, I haven’t had that in yearsss. Do you make excuses alot or know someone that does? I know someone who does. Do you think pit bulls are as mean as everyone says they are? No, not necessarily. Have you ever done something that gave someone the wrong impression? I probably have. Has someone ever gave you something then took it back? No, I don’t think so. Have you ever had a wardrobe malfunction? Yes. At this age you are now, have you colored in a coloring book & had fun? Yeah. I color often, actually. Have you ever had a bubble bath? When I was a kid. When eating, are you more concerned with the taste or healthiness? Definitely the taste. Have you ever shoved stuff under your bed to make your room look clean? No. Do your fingers ever get tired from typing? If I’ve been typing a lot. Like back when I had essays to write. Have you ever tried picking up an item with your foot? No. What’s your opinion on sporks? I don’t care? Have you ever picked a wedgie in front of someone? No If you had nowhere else to go, which friend of yours would let u stay over? I’d be screwed cause I don’t have any friends. Do you know anyone who has been a victim of a drunk driver? No. Don’t you hate it when people try to act like they know it all? Yes. Are you nosy? I can be. Is there someone that makes your life hell? No, not a someone. Have you ever been ditched by your friends? Yes. If someone could see into your heart, what do you think they would see? Heart stuff. Has someone ever sneaked up on you & scared the shit out of you? Yes. I’m also easily scared and jumpy. How long does it take you to brush your teeth? Like a couple minutes. Have you ever went to bed angry at someone? Yeah. Who do you call when you forget what your homework assignment is? I was good about knowing what the assignments were. Do you interrupt people while they’re speaking? I don’t mean to, but it happens sometimes. Have you ever stepped on a crack & was scared it would break ur mama’s back? No, but I remember saying that as a kid. Are you a rulebreaker? I’m more of a goody-goody. Have you ever cut in line? No. What would you do if you became an overnight celebrity? Yikes. That is NOT something I would want. What was the last thing to blow your mind? Uhhh. I don’t know. Have you ever got caught up in a web of lies? Kind of. Do you know someone who can’t keep a secret? No. When you played follow the leader, were u usually the follower or the leader? We took turns. Does it annoy you when people copy you? No one copies me, but yeah it would annoy me. Do you think good things come to those who wait? It can sometimes, but really you can’t just sit around and expect it to. Have you ever made a pinky promise? Have you ever broke a pinky promise? Yeah. Have you ever played pin the tail on the donkey? :D Yes. Have you ever hit a pinata? Yep. Do you have good aim? Not really. Have you ever walked into a room & all eyes were on you? Ugh, yes. Like if I was late to class. I HATED that. What would you do if someone forbid you to see the 1 you love? I’m almost 30 years old, so. Do you believe everyone has a twin out there somewhere? There are dopplegangers. That’s so weird to think about. Do you listen to your gut feelings/intuition? Yes. Have you ever felt replaced? Yep. Not a nice feeling. Do you show your true colors? I think so. Have you ever asked cha cha a question? No, but I’ve Googled stuff and came across Cha Cha where someone asked the same thing or something similar. What would you do if your best friend was marrying someone you can’t stand? My best friend is my mom and she’s with my dad. what would you do if your car got impounded? I don’t have a car. Do you lose your patience easily? Yes. Do you think putting paper in a shredder is fun? No. Are there any weird or creepy legends about the area you live in? Not that I’m aware of. What would you do if a skunk sprayed you? Omg. I’d definitely cry and freak out cause I wouldn’t know what to do. Would you drink a gallon of sour milk for $250? NO. I’d only take a sip for me to throw up. Has someone ever thrown something at you & it landed down your shirt? Yeah. What makes you feel sensational? Nothing. What toys did you play with in the bathtub as a kid? My Barbies and some other toys intended for the bath. Do you like jumping off diving boards? I can’t, but that doesn’t even look like something I’d want to do. Do you follow ingredients when you cook or do u do what you think is right? I’m no cook. Do you space out a lot? Somewhat. Do energy drinks make you feel jittery? Not usually, but Monster Java or something and Rockstar Punch or whatever really messed with me. Do you have anything you want to confess to? Meh. Have you ever been to summer camp? No, but I’ve been to science camp and Girl Scout camp. Do you wear name brands? Some. Have you ever had a love/hate relationship? With a thing, not a person. Do you ever feel overwhelmed with problems? All the time. Do you wear skin tight or loose fitted clothes? I prefer loose fitted nowadays because it’s more comfortable. Do you ever just listen to music & ignore the whole world around you? Yeah, but I do that more with ASMR. Are you good at bingo? Is that something you can really be good at? It’s just luck of the draw. Have you ever taken an adventure in a corn field? No. Do you believe anything is possible if you set your mind to it? Not anything. Have you ever watched a cats behavior while on cat nip? No. Have you ever ate so much that you felt like u gained 10 pounds right then? Yeah. Have you ever sat back and watched someone change right before your eyes? Yes. Have you ever tasted the rain? Yes. Have you ever ate yellow snow :O? Uh, NO. Have you ever snuck into the adults section at a video store? No. Have you ever had frost bite? Nope. Do you start or settle arguments? I avoid them. Are you capable of moving on or do you dread on things for awhile? Oh, I’m definitely one to dwell on things forever.

[mask131]

At the climax of the episode, Miss Dorey summons all of the students in the auditorium, to openly reveal her true identity as a witch. She also mentions her true, or rather her full name, but here… Well, while the Martin Mystery wiki identifies her full name as Prindella Grizzwalda Dorey, the official magazines rather call her “Prindella Grisbalda Dorey”. (There’s also another website that writes her name Prindella Griswalda Doray, however since they did not bother to look at how her family name was written IN THE EPISODE, I don’t take it with much seriousness). Oh, and I forgot to mention it before but: the witches cackle a lot. A LOT. 

At the reunion, Dorey shows the full extent of her powers. Before, she just showed a bit of telekinesis (she could slam a door by just pointing at it), and her ability to turn other girls in witches. Here, she transforms an entire room with just one spell. Actually, it’s interesting to notice that the spells of Prindella are recited in Latin. Her first Latin spell is “Novus ordo seclorum” (New order of the ages, the motto at the back of the Great Seal of the United States; which is often wrongly translated as “New world order” and thus becomes conspiracy theories-fuel). However, the spell here is designed, like I said, to completely change the aspect of a room. The modern auditorium becomes an old medieval looking room, with walls of rocks and doors of wood. All sorts of enormous roots with thorns sprout out of the ground, and everything suddenly looks old, decrepit and invaded by dead vegetation.   

The other Latin spell she will use later in the episode is “Agnosco veteris vestigial flammae”, which is in fact an extract from Virgirl’s Eneide. It’s a citation of Didon, meaning “I recognize some traces of my former flame”. However, Prindella doesn’t use it as some sort of love declaration: it’s rather her spell to turn people into animals. Because, if she turns girls into witches, she turns males into rats (remember her pet rat I mentioned earlier? That’s the “disappeared” principal) or into toads (she wants to inflict that on Java but she misses her shot and ends up turning one of her girls instead). 

She also demonstrates a new way to turn girl into witches : she shots with her fingers rays of green energy that, upon hitting a girl, make her fall to the ground, her whole body emitting green smoke, before she wakes up as a witch (pictures above). Less folkloric, but more cool looking. 

During the reunion, Prindella also explains a bit her motives and great plans. She explains that she was imprisoned by a spell, centuries ago (so, in the 18th century maximum), under the ground on which the school was built. She was released by the three girls of the beginning fooling around with magic (so, the demonic-skull face was her). And her plan is to “take back her rightful place” as the “head of a coven of witches”, and in order to “recreate” her coven, she will turn all of the schoolgirls in witches. What we can get from that is that: 1- she was, before her imprisonment, at the head of a coven of witches. 2- she was deprived of the title of head of the coven, which she saw as an injustice, considering that her position of leader was her rightful place. However, some details are still left in the blue… Was she the head of an already zombified coven? Since she wants to “recreate” her coven by turning girls into monsters… But then, how could she be deprived of her title if her coven was made of mindless zombified minions? Is this “recreating” of the coven a sort of mockery of the original one, a “more perfect” coven where nobody will challenge her authority? 

Prindella also mentions her ultimate goal, which is “ruling”. However, the dubs change over what she wants to rule. The French dub explicitly says that with her coven she will reign over the world “again”. So she aims for world domination, and apparently had already achieved this goal in the past. However, in the English dub, she only says that she will “rule again”. No mention of the world. This lead me to believe that she talks more of a magical level of reality. She probably means to rule over the world of magic, to rule over all of the witches, to become the queen of magic practitioners. “Rule again” as the darkest and most powerful witch in the world. Which was apparently what she was before being imprisoned. (She describes herself later in the episode as an “expert at dark magic”, or “master of the dark arts” depending on the dub). 

Oh, and I forgot to mention just a side detail : Dorey’s voice is clearly distorted when she becomes a witch.