#I always feel conflicted about my birthday

[waitineedaname]

Shen Qingqiu had always had a fondness for the Mid-Autumn Festival. When he was Shen Yuan and very, very young, he had briefly been convinced that all the celebrations were for his sake given the proximity to his birthday. Even when his parents had laughed and explained the real purpose of the festival, it remained one of his favorite holidays. The lanterns, the sweets, the games – what’s not to like?

Needless to say, the Mid-Autumn Festival in the Demon Realm blew all other celebrations out of the water. This was a place where people could do literal magic. Talismans made lanterns glow different colors and float higher in the sky than they realistically should. Demonic performers used all variety of abilities to enhance their performances, from qi powered dance moves to shapeshifting instead of changing costumes. Shen Qingqiu observed the celebrations with a kind of glee he hadn’t felt since he was a child. As empress (a title he still hadn’t gotten used to), he was welcome to partake in the ostentatious banquet prepared by the palace kitchens, but privately, his favorite treats of the night were the mooncakes Luo Binghe had made especially for the two of them. 

He didn’t have blood family to share mooncakes with in this world, but he’d made sure to send an order of treats to his disciples on Qing Jing Peak since he would be unable to share the holiday with them. He and Luo Binghe had agreed to split the holidays between their two realms, and this year Qing Jing had New Year’s while the Demon Realm had the Mid-Autumn Festival. Here in the Demon Realm, the only family he had to share mooncakes with was his husband. He was perfectly happy with that.

“Does husband approve of this one’s cooking?” Luo Binghe asked with a smile, pulling his fingers away from where he’d handfed Shen Qingqiu yet another artfully made mooncake. The festivities were winding down for the night, and they were back in their chambers, which was the only reason Shen Qingqiu was allowing him to hand feed him. That, and he had just enough wine in his system to make him feel loose and relaxed.

Shen Qingqiu hummed and swallowed his food before answering. “Binghe knows his cooking is always excellent,” he praised. Luo Binghe beamed and snuggled into his side to kiss his cheek. 

“Which was your favorite?” He had made a variety of mooncakes with a variety of fillings. Realistically, many of them were flavored with ingredients that should not be available in this setting, but he’d bug Airplane about it later. Luo Binghe had cut all of them into neat pieces, allowing them to sample all of the flavors. Shen Qingqiu thought for a moment, then pointed to one of them.

“The five kernels one,” he said, and Luo Binghe immediately sat up to cut another slice for him. “It’s something of a novelty to be able to eat it,” he continued, fanning himself gently. “The first time I ate that flavor, my parents immediately had to rush me to the doctor.” He sighed. “What a relief this body doesn’t have a nut allergy.”

Being able to talk about his old life was a recent development. Luo Binghe had found out the truth of his transmigration situation from Shang Qinghua not long ago, and since then, he had slowly been allowing himself to reveal more and more of his previous life, finally free from the terror that the System would immediately kill him for it. Binghe clearly appreciated the honesty and seemed conflicted between wanting to ask more and not wanting to push Shen Qingqiu too much. Sweet boy, how could Shen Qingqiu deny him anything?

“Is there anything else Shizun can enjoy now that he couldn’t before?” Luo Binghe asked, offering him another slice of the five kernels mooncake. “This one would be happy to indulge any of his tastes.”

“Mm, well you’ve already got the gluten covered,” he said, gesturing to the mooncakes in front of them. “I didn’t have that many food allergies. I suppose red meat made my stomach irritated sometimes. I am still unfortunately lactose intolerant.” He sighed sadly. “What I wouldn’t give for a lactaid. I wonder if there’s a special flower or magic pill that would help with that…” he trailed off in thought. Perhaps that was something else he could bug Shang Qinghua about. He wanted to know what the protagonist’s skills would do to ice cream without it incapacitating him for the rest of the day! He didn’t realize he’d zoned out until he blinked and saw Luo Binghe staring at him with a fond smile. “Ah. Sorry, Binghe. I was lost in thought there.”

Luo Binghe shook his head and leaned in to press a surprisingly chaste kiss to his lips. “Shizun looks very handsome when he’s thinking.”

Shen Qingqiu huffed and gently batted his head with his fan. “Hush.” He still allowed Luo Binghe to wiggle under his arms until he could wrap both of his own around Shen Qingqiu’s waist. Shen Qingqiu tsked fondly and stroked his hand through Binghe’s curls. “Clingy child. I suppose if you want to make a treat for me… perhaps more of these mooncakes for my birthday?”

“When is your birthday?” Luo Binghe asked, looking up at him from where his face was squished into Shen Qingqiu’s chest.

“Let’s see…” Shen Qingqiu did some quick math. “Today is Tuesday… It should be this Saturday.”

Luo Binghe sat up, startled. “Shizun!” he exclaimed, sounding peeved. “That’s so soon! You didn’t warn me!”

“It’s not like I’ve thought about it much!” Shen Qingqiu shot back, tugging his husband back in for further cuddles. “Binghe doesn’t need to do anything special for this master’s birthday anyway. I’m happy to just eat a meal with you.”

Luo Binghe grumbled, clearly still displeased. Shen Qingqiu resigned himself to whatever elaborate celebration his ridiculous husband cooked up for the weekend. “How old will you be turning?” Binghe asked curiously.

“Uh…” Shen Qingqiu realized he still wasn’t certain how old the original goods were. He supposed he could probably find out from Yue Qingyuan, but… yeah, that would be an awkward conversation. “Do you mean combined between my previous life and this one?”

Luo Binghe nodded. “Shizun must be very old and wise with the experience of two lives.” His eyes were wide and hopeful.

“I wouldn’t say that,” Shen Qingqiu said with a soft laugh. “Let’s see… I was twenty when I first transmigrated, and then there were those five years when I was dead.” He didn’t notice Luo Binghe gradually stiffening in his arms. “I suppose at this point, I’m only a year older than Binghe,” Shen Qingqiu said, pleased by this realization.

“Only… a year older?” Luo Binghe repeated. There was something unreadable in his tone. 

“Yes?” Shouldn’t this be a relief? Shen Qingqiu still felt like a creep sometimes when he thought about how he’d known Luo Binghe since he was a teenager, but their actual combined lived experiences were not that far apart. Somehow, against all odds, they’d evened out at some point along the way!

“So Shizun… isn’t old and wise,” Luo Binghe said slowly.

Shen Qingqiu frowned. Why did that sound disrespectful coming from him?! “Well, this body is likely in its forties at this point,” he said, making his best estimate.

Luo Binghe’s lips flattened into a line. “But you complain about your old hips when we–”

Shen Qingqiu cut him off with a swift smack of his fan. “Don’t say anything else! They are old hips! Not all of us are blessed with youthful demonic stamina!”

That seemed to cheer Luo Binghe up for some godforsaken reason, but he was still pouting. “Shizun, why don’t we celebrate your birthday as your forty-eighth? Twenty-eight sounds too strange.”

“Okay?” Shen Qingqiu was lost. What on earth was going through this strange boy’s head? “You really don’t need to make a big deal out of my birthday, it’s nothing special.”

“This one is happy to dote on his middle-aged husband,” Luo Binghe said, squeezing Shen Qingqiu around the middle.

“I’m not–”

“His middle-aged husband,” Luo Binghe repeated firmly, hugging him even tighter. Shen Qingqiu grunted and swatted at him until he loosened his grip.

“Alright, alright.” He still wasn’t sure what was going on, but he still hid his flushed face behind his fan. “Pass me another mooncake, will you?”

Luo Binghe happily cut him another slice and fed it to him by hand. This truly was a strange second chance at life he’d found himself in, but Shen Qingqiu supposed he couldn’t complain.

[flightlessangelwings]

It’s my birthday

[thoughtfulseason]

it seems i have stepped out of the idolising era of my coach and especially clubmates… which means i’m now pissed at them more often

[cottagepunx]

equally terrified and excited abt my birthday Tuesday

[xjulixred45x]

I could't contain myself guys sorry--

Bro, do you realize how scary it would be to have Vox as a Yandere?

just imagine it. You could be one of his workers, maybe too good at your job, because not only do you do what Vox tells you without asking questions, but you also know what to say and what not to say to avoid a "tantrum" from him. or rather, when his insecurities attack with force like when Alastor returns.

Vox would probably be a somewhat condescending yandere (as seen with Val) but don't think you can't turn tables easily, if you stroke his ego enough, you can have him around your finger. but that doesn't make it any less dangerous for those around you.

He makes the typical 180 degree turn in attitude when it comes to Other Employees and when it comes to You. Damn, you may be the only one of his employees who gets paid vacations (or even vacations) or even birthday bonuses, things like that. He likes to give you his things or products with the excuse that "they are for testing" even if they have already been released on the market.

Like:

Vox: who the fuck eat My leftovers!?! WHENEVER WHO WAS I'M GOING TO-

Darling: it was me sir.

Vox:--give You the rest and take You out for lunch, You haven't eaten in the whole day AGAIN, didn't ya?

He definitely avoids conflict with you by hypnotizing you, when he starts to feel hostility, fear on your part or that you want to leave, he makes you "out of nowhere" have "ONE MORE TASK" and you can't help but do what he says.

and IT IS NOT just to avoid fights or for you to leave, it is something CONSTANT (once every two days MINIMUM), although Vox is not worried about your brain turning into mush due to its powers, it always keeps nutritious things in your diet and they come out relatively often , as you have to follow him everywhere.

Eventually he becomes more clingy and needy in this case, it's practically not that he's proposing to you or anything, he's just slowly dragging you into a relationship without you realizing it (because you're not lucid enough). Unless you develop a higher level of tolerance to his hypotonic trick, I don't think you'll notice his Red Flags.

I think it would be ESPECIALLY BAD if Darling is also a Sinner, because then they wouldn't even be able to get out of the pride ring to run away from Vox. leaving you with many fewer options and having to avoid all of Vox's technology, which you could only achieve by 1- going to the Cannibal Legion or 2- going to the Hazbin Hotel.

Running away is EXTREMELY DIFFICULT, not only because of his hypnotic trick, but because he literally has EYES EVERYWHERE, on every screen in hell. If you somehow manage to get away with it and run away, Vox would be SO ANGRY and looking for you all over hell with their screens.

Although definitely if you were gone more than a day, he would be more distraught than angry and would begin to despair. Even Val and Velvet would give him a hand because of how bad it would be.

Just imagine, thinking that you finally lost sight of Vox's search drones, without realizing that you stand in front of some store and VOX ITSELF appears on the screens :)

If you made the stupid decision to go to the Hazbin Hotel, Vox would be distraught and would even think that Alastor was somehow holding you hostage, obviously! Why would you go there if you knew his biggest enemy was there? Alastor must be using you as a bargaining chip! How dare he!?

(in this case, fortunately, the punishment is much less severe, but he would definitely monitor you for the rest of your life)

When he eventually gets you back (after a few days or even WEEKS of anguish) expect, first of all, to be in a mortal embrace that lasts AT LEAST 2 days and then receive your "punishment" which would be to be under hypnosis for AT LEAST 1 YEAR to be sure that this NEVER HAPPENS AGAIN.

Although calm down! He gives your mind breaks periodically because 1- he doesn't know if that would ultimate mess with your head and 2- it's nice to hear YOU talk instead of the robotic version.

When that year FINALLY ends, you will be a much more obedient, more terrified, sweeter version of You, according to Vox, like a frightened Deer. It was a long and hard process, but the good thing is that you don't have to do anything anymore! absolutely! Just do what he tells you and everything will be fine.

Shares, reblogs and comments are very welcome!

Not one of the Best yanderes to have, but Def not the worst

[miley1442111]

fix it together- a.hotchner

a/n: i imagined a fem reader but as per usual, imagine what you like :) thank you guys for all the love on the first part of this!!!!

please don't read if you have emetophobia!!!!

summary: aaron said some horrible things. He's trying to fix it, right?

pairing: husband! aaron hotchner x wife! reader

warnings: mad angst, aaron is so mean, reader believes she is a bad mother, heartbreak, feelings of disappointment, reader is pregnant, talks of pregnancy, talks of vomiting and morning sickness, happy ending :)

part 1- fix it.

Aaron

The last few weeks had been… tense. Going back to work was fine and we still acted like a couple, don’t get me wrong. Yet, everything felt disgustingly different. The gifts hadn’t been working. The dates hadn’t been working. Every second of my days were spent thinking over what I’d said on that horrible night. Did I ask for an annulment? What was I thinking? I love you more than anything, I want you forever. Since the first date I’d known you were my girl, my forever girl. Every night I’ve been trying to make it clear to you that I want you. That I think you’re a good mother. Even the nights you'd stayed at Penelope's.

After Jack's birthday, you'd gone to Penelope's for 3 nights, I only saw you during the day at work, and even then you didn't look at me, let alone speak to me. You came home because you missed Jack.

Since then, you’ve been distant, focusing on work, or Jack more often than not. So I decided something. 

I made all the distractions go away. Jack went off to his cousin's house, and I pulled us out of work for a full week, much to Strauss’s annoyance. Only thing is that I hadn’t told you. 

Well, this better work. 

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Honey?” I cleared my throat, still groggy from waking up a few minutes prior. You weren’t in bed, you’d recently stopped our regular 5 minutes of hazy cuddling as we both wake up. My third favourite part of the day. My second favourite being when you come to me at 2:07pm everyday at work and give me a kiss, my first favourite being the kiss and hug you give me at the end of the day, just after tucking Jack in. All three had stopped in recent weeks.  

“Yeah?” You called from the bathroom, doing your regular morning routine. 

“I called us out of work,” I yawned and heard your quickened footsteps, then you appeared in front of me. You looked so beautiful, as always. A random and oversized t-shirt and a pair of shorts that left little to the imagination. I started to sweat just thinking about it. 

“What? Why?! We have people who need our help, we have cases-” You started rambling as I got up and cupped your face, kissing you. 

“Because I need you. I need you to be you again,” I whispered against your lips, hoping this would work. “So we’re going to have a nice few days, yeah? Today we have your appointment and we’ll have another talk. Then we can just relax for the rest of the week.”

“The week?” you stressed and I rolled my eyes, kissing you again. Your lips were so perfect. You’d brushed your teeth, not that I mind your morning breath. Not that I mind anything about you. 

“Please,” I was begging and I wasn’t even ashamed. “Please honey,” I wrapped my hands around your waist, trying to persuade you. 

“Aaron-”

“Don’t call me Aaron,” You’d stopped calling me the usual ‘baby’ or ‘darling’, or my favourite ‘love’. “Please. I want to be normal again. I don’t want this distance, I adore you more than anything.”

I could tell you felt conflicted. I hurt you. I know I did. 

“Aaron,” another stab to my heart. “Fine, we’ll take this week off, and we can… talk.”

“Thank you my love,” I smile, pressing kisses along your exposed collarbone. You chuckled. I’d missed your laughter. I’d missed you.

“Ok baby, come on, I need to shower,” you giggled against me and I could feel my heart mending. Baby. I couldn’t stop the grin on my lips. I let go of you, but not before kissing you again. My perfect wife. 

“Can I join?” I smirked, and you scoffed. 

“Don’t push your luck Hotchner,” You chuckled. This was it. This is what it used to be. Flirty, loving, and fun. Before I ruined everything. 

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

You

Forgiving Aaron was the easy part. Worrying if every parenting decision was the right one, was pure agony. 

Is it wrong to say that like that? Should I have done this a different way? Was that right?

And your brain’s personal favourite: 

What would Haley have done? 

You were beating yourself up about it all for the past few weeks. You felt you had ruined Jack’s birthday with your own insecurities, since he’d asked if you were alright the day after.

Telling Jack you were pregnant was a highlight from the past few weeks. He was ecstatic to find out he’d be getting a little sibling. He already wanted to meet them and he understood that there would be times where either of you wouldn’t be able to play with him when his sibling arrived. 

Aaron had been grovelling to the highest degree. Flowers once a week, date nights, house chores, taking paperwork from you so you don’t need to do it, getting any and all pregnancy cravings, and helping you deal with all your morning sickness and migraines. 

It was maddening. You were going to go insane if you weren’t careful. 

Yet, you felt like every second of every day was spent thinking about your parenting choices and just wondering if having another baby was even a good idea. Would your new child even like you? Would this ruin your relationship with Jack? What was going to happen when they grow up? Did Aaron really think your parenting is terrible? 

Ok, so maybe you haven’t forgiven him just yet. Or at all. 

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

You lay back in bed, a book in hand as Aaron pressed a soft kiss to your shoulder. You stared at the words on the page, trying to make sense of them when your brain was so clouded. Your levels of anxiety had risen greatly, which you both knew was not good for your baby. Aaron had been trying to lift some of the stress off your shoulders with his constant doting, but you knew that the stress was Aaron. From the moment you woke up to the minute you fell asleep, you felt like you were putting up a show. Being the perfect wife, perfect (probably shitty, you thought anyway) mother, perfect agent. It was exhausting. You wanted to go back to before, back to when you didn’t have to pretend everything was alright. 

You pushed him off you and lay on your side, a regular occurrence. Aaron felt dejected. He’d hurt you so badly, and he didn’t know what to do to fix it. 

“Baby?” he spoke into the room. 

“Yes Aaron?” You answered. 

“Do you still love me?” He asked in a small voice. He felt raw and full of emotion. Honestly, he was terrified of the answer. 

“Do I still love you?” You scoffed. “I think I should be the one asking that. You were the one mentioning getting an annulment.”

“You know I didn’t mean it like that… I was just-” He tried but you shot out of bed, staring at him with an anger in your eyes he could only describe as animalistic. 

“ 'You just' what Aaron? What?!” You squealed, all the emotions that you’d let build up, coming out at once. “I’ve been trying to be a good wife, to be a good mother for the past 4 fucking years Aaron. I have been that for you, I have been that for you and Jack, and I’m so happy to do it because I love the both of you more than anything! And all I ask in return is that you love and respect me! That is what you promised me on your wedding day! You didn’t fucking do that. You threw our marriage under the bus and compared me to your ex wife, the second you got slightly stressed. I’m sure Haley did a much better job than me Aaron, I’m sure she did! But I’m here Aaron. I love you. I love Jack. I have dedicated my life to the two of you, to our family! And now I feel like I’ve made a mistake in doing that, because the second you get overwhelmed, I’m in the first person that gets thrown under the bus?! To get reduced to nothing by you?! That’s not fucking fair Aaron, It’s not fair! And the worst part is that I fucking forgave you weeks ago, but I can’t forgive myself! I feel like such a shit mother every single day! I feel like I’m failing everyday, and that our baby will fucking hate me because it’ll somehow know that I’m the second choice! That it’ll know you’d rather be with someone who’s dead! So don’t come to me asking stupid fucking questions like that when you know the fucking answer Aaron. You don’t need to humiliate me more than you already have.”

You walked out of your shared bathroom, down the stairs into the living room, and sobbed your eyes out. 

Aaron sat up in the bed, thankful that Jack wasn’t home today, but devastated by your words, and his actions. Why had he even brought up an annulment? 

He couldn’t even begin to dissect the feelings he had when the bile in his throat suddenly came on and he had to run to the bathroom, and spill it into the toilet. Your words hit him like a knife, throwing his own words back in his face in the most disgusting way to do it, directed at you. You were an amazing mother, an amazing wife. And yet, you thought you were worthless. He had made you feel worthless. He felt terrible. He didn’t want Haley. Yes, he’d loved her for a long time, yes their divorce was heartbreaking. But he loved you now, and he didn’t ever want to take that for granted. He’d gotten two people who loved him unconditionally, two people who loved him enough to have a child with him, two people that would put themselves in harm’s way for him. 

And he fucked it up. Twice. 

He followed you downstairs, standing in the doorway as you sobbed into the couch cushions, then walked over and put a hand on your back. You didn’t push him off, that must be a good sign, right? He moved you to sit on his lap, your head in his shoulder as he calmed you down.

“I’m so sorry Y/n. I was awful to you. I don’t want an annulment, I never want an annulment. I know it sounds bad but I was just so used to Haley hanging a divorce over my head for so long, it just came out. You are who I want, who I would choose, every single time. You are a good mother. You’re going to be a good mother. I’m so sorry I ever made you doubt yourself. That I ever made you doubt me. I never want to hurt you like this again. This is the worst thing I’ve ever done, I’m so sorry,” he whispered against your skin. “I’m so sorry.”

You let out a half chuckle- half sob and pulled away. “Aaron, I need you to swear to me that you will never fucking bring up us breaking up again, unless you actually mean it.”

“I swear.”

“And I need you to promise me that you’ll work on stopping all the reactive bullshit we’ve been doing,” You sighed.

“I promise.” 

“Then, I think we’ll be ok,” You smiled softly and kissed his cheek, settling your head back against his neck. 

“So we’re ok again?” He asked hopefully. 

“Not yet, no,” You stated and his hope vanished. 

“Honey-”

“We will be, soon.” 

He smiled again. You were his, always. Just as he was yours, always. Anything, you could get through. 

Together.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

criminal minds masterlist :)

people that asked to be tagged: @michasia24 @pear-1206 @randomrosie01 @tonystankhere

[femmefatalevibe]

25 Life Lessons I've Learned In 25 Years

In honor of turning 25 this month, here are some lessons I wish someone could've baked into my brain by 18. Hope this helps xx

Putting yourself first is not selfish, it is an act of self-care. Actively discounting others is not the same as protecting your peace.

Pay attention to who gossips and keeps to themselves amidst an interpersonal conflict. Insecure people or those in the wrong will speak the loudest and go on the longest in a fight to prove their innocence. Individuals who are self-assured and comfortable with the truth know it's better to communicate their feelings appropriately and then move past it. Confidence is assertive, tactful, and relatively silent.

If you want to know who to believe in an argument, pay attention to how both sides speak about the conflict. The perpetrator will often speak about the individuals' character/morality while the victim will explain their personal experience in the context of the relevant situation.

Display empathy and consideration, but don't live to satisfy others' emotional needs and expectations. Say farewell to anyone who dismisses or guilts you for your own needs, emotions, priorities/life goals & aspirations.

Your needs matter. No one needs to approve or validate your desires. If someone feels they have control over you or tries to persuade you to change your mind to ensure you put their emotions and needs first, cut them out of your life. They do not care about you.

Almost no one deserves insider access into your life and mind. Upholding your right to privacy – especially regarding your finances, dating life, health conditions/concerns, and long-term goals – is the simplest way to protect your peace.

A friend to all is a friend to none. Be wary of those who will not stand up for you behind closed doors. These people do not care about you, they care about what your place in their life does for them and their ego.

Be radically honest and accepting of who you are. Don't apologize for your preferences, aspirations, and values. You deserve to live in a way that makes you happy, not to appease others in hopes of their approval or future favors due to your karmic good deeds.

You deserve happiness, love, and nice things, life experiences, relationships, and opportunities in your life regardless of what others may or may not possess/ be able to experience. Dispel this scarcity mindset ASAP. Jealousy and internalized shame are destructive to your self-esteem and all your relationships.

You are worthy and offer many incredible, unique gifts to the world. Don't allow naysayers, critics, or bullies (of any age) to dim your light or sacrifice pursuing your dreams. Decide you're the leader of your own life. Then act accordingly.

Direct communication is always the way. Remain tactful, but at least when dealing with non-manipulative people, always say what you mean and mean what you say. It will save a lot of trouble and petty disagreements that could've been avoided with clearer communication.

You don't owe anyone an explanation for your feelings, emotions, and actions that don't have a direct, inescapable impact on someone else. "No" is a complete sentence.

Approach conversations as a meeting of the minds. Healthy debate or conflict is about seeking to understand the other person, not prove yourself right. Leaving your ego at the door will allow you to expand your mind and avoid many unnecessary conflicts or arguments.

If it's not a hell yes, it's a no. For a job, date, sex, attendance at a time-sucking social event, family gatherings, an informal meeting not essential for you to keep your job, a wedding, birthday party, holiday invitation, etc. Outside of your contracted hours and time necessary to keep yourself/your home clean & well-maintained, you should spend your time exactly as you please. Doing things you don't want to do will only breed resentment down the line toward yourself and others.

Detangle yourself from any who refuses to self-reflect and take accountability. This person is selfish and will never see you as fully human with emotions, needs, and a complete life/internal world of your own. Cut them out (or at least fully emotionally detach and limit contact with them) immediately.

Speak your truth, but always say a little less than you feel necessary. Overexplaning and oversharing do you no favors. At a minimum, this approach allows you to protect your peace. In the worst circumstances, this tactic can also save you from a lot of trouble in your personal or professional life.

Learn to ask for a little more than you're comfortable with, but do so with grace, tact, and confidence. Whether it's a salary/rate negotiation, flight/hotel/restaurant accommodations, get in the habit of making that slightly higher/up-leveled request like you're expecting a "yes." You can't get something you don't ask for, so speak up and show you know your worth. This habit can bring a lot of great opportunity into your life and builds up your confidence.

Everyone is on their own timeline and path. Don't compare yourself to others' credentials, job titles, relationship status, net worths, or jean sizes. Comparison is truly the thief of joy. Remaining envious of others only takes up the energy that could otherwise be used to elevate or enrich your life.

Become clear on your priorities, and remain diligent with your habits & routines. Set SMART goals. Implement healthy habits and rituals into your daily lifestyle. Be consistent with goal-supporting and wellness rituals (generous sleep schedule, healthful eating habits, daily movement/regular exercise, reading, task time-blocking, cleaning, and life/work admin schedule), so they become second nature. Help yourself by creating these default habits to ensure your brain is wired for success whether you're in an easygoing era or a stressful life season.

Stop seeing other people (especially other women) as your competition in your profession/dating life and within your platonic relationships. Use your immediate criticisms as a tool for self-reflection. Actively deconstruct the patriarchy in every aspect of your life. Other women coworkers, dating prospects, and friends are not your rivals nor individuals who should be evaluated based on their assertiveness, sexual history/appeal, relationship status, or desire to perform traditional maternal/domestic roles.

Understanding how to interact with others in a cordial, tactful manner is significantly more important than having everyone like you. Learn how to positively influence people without seeking approval. What other people think of us is none of our business. All we can do is show up as the best version of ourselves, and remain optimistic about a potential connection.

Acceptance, accountability, and consistent discipline are the holy trinity to creating a sustainable change that you can maintain for the long haul. There's no shame in starting from the bottom, but you need to be honest about where you're at, so you can create a realistic game plan/small behavior-changing habits that stack up over time to help you implement the radical change you're craving.

Let go of any internalized shame. Being the "good girl" does you no favors in life. Set a standard and expectation to be respected, not to be perceived as "innocent" or submissive – this is how you get taken advantage of in professional, platonic, and intimate relationships. Remain ravenous for respect. It's the only way to live life to the fullest.

24. Investing in your appearance is a form of self-respect. Wanting to look & feel your best and present yourself in the best light possible to others is not a superficial pursuit. Remain unwavering about your hygiene/beauty/grooming routines, deliberate styling choices, healthy eating & workout habits, and mindfulness of social graces. You're your #1 publicist, so act like it. Life is all about embracing satisfaction with a sprinkle of reputation management.

25. Be unapologetic about your financial ambitions, priorities, investments, savings goals, etc. Financial freedom IS freedom. The only way to change the system is to break it from the inside out. Leverage is everything. Allocate, and assert your (financial) power wisely.

[astrobydalia]

Solar return observations

Virgo season is here which means my birthday is coming soon!!! I thought it would be fitting to share my first Solar Return observations with you. These are based on my experience, feel free to share yours!

Btw Ariel is my fave Disney princess I love her sm

work by astrobydalia

Fire rising in SR - these years were characterized for being SO SO chaotic and all over the place tbh. It was always a mix of good and bad things like damn I couldn't catch a break. So many rollecosters, STRESS, situations were I was at the edge of my seat, unpredictable and random stuff happening...

Air rising on SR - one word: fresh. Total opposite from fire risings. Air risings were years that felt so light and fresh! I felt like I was floating through the year in a good way! Just going with flow. And I've said this before the best most chill years where I've found myself thriving were Libra risings on SR (also venus in the 1st house)

Moon-Lilith conjunction in th SR - I felt like my life being sucked out of me and overall felt kinda unlucky that year. I felt so empty inside during this year it was insane. Also I was having mayor issues and conflicts with my mom

Chiron is in SR is a bit catastrophized imo. It can not only mean areas in your life that can "break" but also areas that could find healing or resolutions as well. Whenever I've seen the breaking or ending manifestation of this asteroid it was always from a place of reconsideration and healing rather destruction, like making peace with something. For example, Chiron in the 7th house could mean ending a relationship on good terms or unlearning unhealthy relationship patterns. On time I had Chiron in the 6th house and during that year I got a nice job after a long period of struggling to find a job. Of course it's nuanced and it can often be painful and disappointing process but I think people don't mention enough how Chiron is about finding relief as well

One time I read the SR for a client who had Pluto in the 6th house for that year and turns out she was planning to undergo surgery during that time for health reasons

Leo rising in SR - These years were TERRIBLE for some reason. Maybe it was due to Cancer 12th house but I was really struggling to find happiness and fulfillment in my life during these times

Cancer mars in the SR - So emotional!! Like truly it was years that were clouded by emotion. It was either due to family stuff, friends or relationships, but I was running on emotion all the time and I couldn't act on logic to save my life. However it's not like I was in my bed crying all day but rather these emotions were giving energy and motivation in some way. Somehow being emotional was always making be feel.... alive?

Moon in 12th house of SR - I was getting ready to move and separate from my family during this year

Taurus rising in SR - these years were surprisingly.... intense, specially with my relationships. A lot of patience, resisting and enduring. Every event that happened felt like I was going through a 10-year-long process and really had a strong impact in my life. Years were I reconsidered my priorities a lot and was really faced with what is it that I truly value

Uranus in the 1st house of SR - literally a few days prior to my bday I received shocking news that turned my entire year (and life) upside down so you can imagine how this energy played out. Life forcing changes on my life that I was not ready for but had to make it through one way or another

Virgo rising in SR - I started a new job!

Look at Part of Fortune and Vertex in your SR chart, these will be significant themes!

Capricorn rising in SR - I was.... borderline depressed here ngl. Those kind of years that never seem to end ever. I was receiving pressure from both my career life and my family life. Overall earth rising in the SR were years that felt very 'heavy' if that makes sense.

Juno in the 1st house of SR - these were years were I meant new people!!! I significantly enlarged my network

^Same thing with Venus/Libra/Vertex in the 7th house of SR. I didn't get into a relationships or had anything romantic going on, I met new people and made new friends in general. I also bought lots of new clothes and invested a lot in my image

Scorpio rising in SR -you know when you go through a very intense experience out of nowhere and then come out of it soon after like nothing happened and you're left feeling like "wtf was that for"? That's this.

Yod configuration in SR - very karmic life-changing and ground breaking events in my life. Before and after vibes

Moon in Capricorn in the SR - my girlboss era!!!! These were years were I began new professional opportunities like my first job or my first year in college

Moon in the 8th house of SR - you guessed it: trauma. I'm talking canon event kind of trauma. A family member died.

Vertex in the 8th house of SR - this was playing life on hard mode honestly. Not necessarily traumatic, but very complicated events and situations here that put you to the test

work by astrobydalia

[wonbriiize]

riize as boyfriends pt. 1

pt 2. is here

✧₊⁺ shotaro

the type of boyfriend who would wake you up with kisses

he yearns for a deep & meaningful relationship

would make you film cute dance tiktoks with him ˃̵ᴗ˂̵

he would notice when you’re feeling sad and would do his best to make you feel better

like, he would buy your favorite flowers and surprise you with them

or he would call you over to his place and surprise you with your favorite movie & snacks

it’s important to him for you guys to talk about your feelings, desires, goals etc. openly

if conflict happens, he’d rather sit down and talk it out because he goes crazy thinking about you guys being on bad terms

he is so so so supportive !! whatever you want to do, he will stand behind you, he will always have your back no matter what ♡ ̆̈

shotaro is usually very happy but when he sees that you‘re having a bad day, his mood goes down too. like, you hate the world right now? good, so does he !! you want to cry a river? well, he will cry along with you !!

✧₊⁺ eunseok

would pull up behind you and put his arm around your waist to hold you close to him

especially in social gatherings, it’s his sign to show everyone that you’re only his

he stares at you for the longest time and when you ask what’s up he just straight up says ‘i love you’ with the most serious tone ever

it makes him smile when you get shy after he does this, he just loves watching your reaction to it

the type of boyfriend who would have a pic of you in his wallet

when people would ask him ‘who‘s this’, he would softly smile and say ‘my favorite person’

likes to try out new things on your dates

for example going to places you’ve never been to, or doing fun activities that both of you haven’t tried yet

loves teasing you, in every way possible

would sneak up next to you in bed and watch you sleep with admiring eyes because he loves how peaceful you appear (*◡*♡)

✧₊⁺ sungchan

the type of boyfriend who would wake you up in the morning to go out for a walk

would make you breakfast as well

like when you’re on your period, he’d want you to rest in your bed and bring the breakfast to you (づ๑•ᴗ•๑)づ♡

honestly, he’s the type to ask ‘where’s my hug at?’

when you’d hug him, he’d wrap his arms around you so tightly that you fear he’s going to break your bones

he‘d rest his chin on your head and tease you with pushing it down

you like to scare him so sometimes when he does that, you act like he actually hurt you

he would get so concerned, step back and look at you with the most beautiful and apologetic eyes you’d ever seen

sungchan would keep saying sorry even when you tell him you were just joking, because if he’d actually hurt you, he‘d never be able to forgive himself

you‘d have to kiss him to silence him and assure him that everything is fine, and after the kiss, sungchan would have the biggest smile on his face, his eyes looking down at you with the most loving gaze ♡ ´･ᴗ･ `♡

✧₊⁺ wonbin

sends you good morning and good night messages

if he‘s out shopping and sees something that he thinks you’d like or it reminds him of you, he’d buy it right away

he‘s such a scaredy cat but he’d act so tough to look cool in front of you

like, if you guys would go to a horror escape room, he would secretly be shitting his pants everytime your attention wouldn’t be on him

but the second your eyes wander back to him, he’d act like this is the most easiest thing ever

when something creepy would happen in the escape room, he’d try to put all his fear aside and protect you

but you’re a bit better with horror stuff than him, so he actually ends up being the one who needs protection, like he’d hide behind you

also, for your birthday, he’d sing your favorite song for you while playing the guitar

everytime you wouldn’t be looking at him, he would be staring at you, telling himself how lucky he is that he gets to be with you ˃̶̤⌄˂̶̤

when the two of you watch a movie together, he enjoys resting his head on your shoulder and fiddling with your shirt as well as kissing you unexpectedly •ᴗ•♡

[widow-tarot]

MINI PAC READING: What Does Your Crush/Person Think/Feel About You?

Hey, guys! Since it's my birthday today (6th of September), I'm here to deliver a reading connected to my situation. Please don't choose more than 2 groups for one person!

POSSIBLE 18+

Also remember, it's only for entertainment purposes.

Leave a tip!

paypal.me/sadwidow

GROUPS:

1-2-3 4-5-6

GROUP 1

Cards: 9 of Wands rx, Page of Swords, The Devil, 8 of Cups, 7 of Pentacles, Knight of Pentacles rx.

First of all, if you're expecting any type of action/initiative from their side, you will be greatly disappointed. I have two messages for two very different crowds.

If you have a long history with this person (and I mean HISTORY with lots of stuff that happened, maybe some bitterness and regrets but also happiness) then this person is very conflicted about you and what to do. At the same time, they want to let go of this connection, free themselves and their mind, and start somewhere else far away from you but they also want to start again with you; do everything differently, clean slate. The question is "Is this possible?". They're at a stalemate, lots of thoughts running through their minds. It is a great burden to them.

If you don't know this person well, then I don't think they think about you all that much. They like talking to you (if you talk at all) or at least enjoy times when you're expressing yourself. They're very tired and some chaos in their personal lives makes them blind to potential romantic partners (could be they are going through something in their current relationship). Lowkey they just wanna be left alone. They're neutral about you.

GROUP 2 (18+)

Cards: Queen of Cups, 4 of Pentacles, Ace of Wands, King of Swords, The Hanged Man rx, Page of Swords.

They are very much attracted to you sexually and wanna fuck. They see as this emotionally mature and put together (in this case we got the feminine energy). They quite literally wanna wrap themselves around you (or make you stay with them, even for a little bit, hearing breakfast after sex or aftercare). We also got the masculine energy coming here with words (aka dirty talk, lots of foreplay and teasing, breath play). I also hear they wanna tie you up and make your world go upside down, I hear "make you feel so good you became dumb". They are the dominant and they know they have to prove their worth if you're going to consider them in any way or form.

GROUP 3

Cards: Queen of Wands rx, Page of Pentacles rx, Knight of Swords, Knight of Cups, Queen of Pentacles rx, Page of Swords.

Move on, my homie. There's no attraction nor desire to even keep you as a friend. It seems you don't learn from how they treat you or what they say to you (because I do feel like they told you repeatedly in different ways to back off but you disregarded their attempts). They were somewhat brutal in some ways in how they let you know they were not interested. They're also currently involved with multiple women, living that free love life. They don't feel the need to be in any sort of commitment and even if they were looking for something long-term, you're not the one on their mind.

GROUP 4

Cards: 3 of Pentacles rx, Death rx, The Hermit rx, 6 of Cups, The Emperor rx, The sun.

Once again there are messages for two different crowds.

You either know each other from your childhood or had brief connections in the past with each other but you never quite talked. There were always obstacles and you couldn't even make it last long enough to have a normal conversation, let alone a fling. You might have recently reunited. There's not much to say here about their feelings since it's very new and well, they're hopeful at least. It's very blurry but we have basically only major arcana so this is going to be interesting (I think it's worth a try).

You guys have a rocky history. Lots of downs, but the ups were worth the drama. However, you do seem to repeat lots of patterns, coming back to the same lake that you've drown in. I do see that they still have hope for this connection (and I think you do too since you're asking) but either you're going to change the dynamic between you or you're gonna be stuck in the endless loop of bad decisions and pain. Honestly this connection seems like can be a happy one (I think but well most of the cards are reversed so I'm not quite sure) but you need lots, and I meant LOTS of work here.

GROUP 5

Cards: 9 of Swords rx, 2 of Cups rx, Page of Swords rx, The Tower, Knight of Wands rx, 4 of Wands.

Did you have a fight? Lowkey I see there's no reconciliation here. They feel regret and somewhat sad but I see that whatever the two of you had, ended and will not be coming back for a long time (or forever, the energy is fluid so I don't want to assume). They wish they could make peace with you and go back to how it was, but they can't. I think they don't even want to talk to you or explain so why the regrets if they gave up already? So despite the desire to make peace, they don't intend on any action toward it, they're just distancing themselves.

GROUP 6

Cards: The Devil, 4 of Wands, Judgement, Queen of Cups, The Tower, 9 of Swords rx.

You are the temptation for them. I think they recently had a big break about you (hence The Tower) and honestly, they can't handle it. They don't know what to do and lowkey they are happy (like yay I have a crush!) but it's also terrifying. They see you as mature and put-together, not really sure if you're into them or if they deserve you (out of their league). They try to get out of this mindset tho, just give them time.

[burningdaybreak]

Aun no Beats & BAD DOGS' Relationship

Hello everyone! Today is August 19, which is a pretty special day, since it's both Aun no Beats' original version's release anniversary, and Akito and Touya's middle birthday (the day in the middle of both of their birth dates, which are May 25 and November 12). Added to the game on June 6, 2022 (JP server), the addition of Aun no Beats has always been quite an interesting case. The song is covered exclusively by Akito and Touya, which is a pretty rare thing; not many songs are exclusively covered by just original characters, and it hasn't happened for a while now; as of writing this, the last one was Amanojaku (released in the JP server on October 1, 2022). Furthermore, the song's original producer, Hanyuu Maigo, prohibits covers of their songs being sold commercially, which is most likely the reason why it was not included in Vivid BAD SQUAD SEKAI ALBUM Vol.2. So, why did Project Sekai go out of their way to add a cover of this song to the game, even though they wouldn't profit from it at all? They must have really wanted it in the game, then... and looking at the lyrics, I think it makes sense; the song represents Akito, Touya, and their relationship and story so well. And so, in this essay, I will talk about Aun no Beats, and look at its lyrics and analyze them, and talk about how they represent Akito and Touya and their characters and story.

1. What is Aun no Beats about, and how does it represent Akito and Touya's relationship?

Aun no Beats is a song about a relationship where both parties understand each other without a need for words, but they'd still like to hear those words.

So, giving and receiving, I never needed to look for the words Even so, I wanted to hear them from you

However, with the We were going to be together forever in the lyrics, the song feels like it's about a relationship with a bad ending, where they're separated for some reason, whether a break up or separated by death... The meaning of the word aun in the title is taken from the Japanese idiom 阿吽の仲 (a-un no naka), a phrase that indicates an inherently harmonious relationship where both parties can understand each other without the need of verbal communication.

When it comes to Akito and Touya, my interpretation of the cover for them, and possibly the most common interpretation, is that it represents them in the main story, and the short break up they went through due to their lack of communication (therefore, the things that weren't said). Aun no Beats represents them pretty well because of the incredibly close bond they have and how they understand each other so well without needing to communicate their feelings... but they both still want to hear how the other really feels. As for the "bad ending" in the song, it represents the miscommunication issue they had in Vivid BAD SQUAD's main story; this conflict arose from the fact that Touya felt like he wasn't good enough about singing to be Akito's partner. Even though Touya kept these feelings to himself for the two years that he had been singing next to Akito, seeing Akito berate An and Kohane and how they aren't serious enough about their dream of surpassing RAD WEEKEND made Touya decide he can't keep going like this. In the end, he decided to claim he didn't want to sing with Akito anymore because he felt he wasn't worthy of being his partner, but avoiding telling him the real reason and riling him up on purpose, because he'd rather lie than disappoint the most important person to him. This culminated in Akito allowing his emotions to overtake him, and punching his partner, and BAD DOGS breaking up temporarily. However, unlike the song, their story has a happy ending, since at the end of Vivid BAD SQUAD's main story, Akito and Touya talk it out, Akito making Touya realize that he actually loves music...

🥞 You love music. You love it like an idiot, you really do. You love it… and I know that better than anyone else!

... And Akito declaring that he'll never team up with anyone other than Touya...

🥞 STOP SAYING THAT!! … Don't you get it! I'm never gonna team up with anyone other than you!

... Which finally makes Touya talk about how he truly feels:

☕ Gh…! Isn't it obvious that I want to…! I've felt that so many times! I wanted to chase that dream with you as far as I could…!

With both of them on the same page, with the same feelings, they can reconcile and be a team, once again. Although Touya is still doubtful if he's truly worthy of singing by Akito's side, Akito shuts him up with the following line:

🥞 Oh, shut up already. Don't go makin' this complicated. I want to be with you, and you want to be with me as well. And after that, our dream will come true. ... Isn't that enough?

They know how they feel. And they now have words they were looking for. This is all they need, to be partners: just knowing that they respect and appreciate each other, and wanting to sign with each other. With this, they can now be together forever. In short, this song would symbolize Akito and Touya's relationship during Vivid BAD SQUAD's main story; most specifically, the period where they temporarily split up (often jokingly called their "divorce arc"). But they come out of it stronger and more determined than before to be with each other, which is why the song doesn't fully represent their relationship, since their story does have a happy ending... they reconciled, and still have a future together. It's not the first time that they get a song that symbolizes their short break up during the main story, as Fragile can also be interpreted that way (among other covers, but Fragile is the one with most similarities to Aun no Beats); however, compared to that, there's a few things that stand out about Aun no Beats. Fragile was added with Project Sekai's release in September 30, 2020, back when the only story content Vivid BAD SQUAD was their main story, so it made sense that have that song available right when the game came out; but Aun no Beats came out over one year and a half after its addition to the game (June 6, 2022), when Vivid BAD SQUAD was well past the main story's events.

Fun fact: Aun no Beats' addition to the game was announced in the 20th Wondershow Channel stream, which took place on May 25, 2022 — the same day as Touya's birthday. Quite a coincidence, huh?

Another curious thing, which I mentioned back in the introduction, is that the release anniversary of the original version of Aun no Beats (August 19) is the very same date as Akito and Touya's middle birthday. It could most definitely be a coincidence, but considering how well the song represents them and their characters, one starts thinking... could it have been on purpose? Fragile also represents them really well, and it makes you wonder the same thing, and if perhaps they wrote these characters when considering the song's lyrics, but Aun no Beats' case is even more intriguing because of all these odd facts. To add on, both are songs where Akito and Touya sing by themselves, with no accompanying Virtual Singer. These two songs are the only Vivid BAD SQUAD covers with this trait (along with Odo, covered by An and Kohane), making them stand out among the other duets (which all have at least one Virtual Singer); and considering both can be interpreted as representing their relationship, this makes them even more special. They are the BAD DOGS songs. Taking into account the situation with the original producer and their rules regarding commercialization, there genuinely wasn't much to gain from adding this song to the game as a cover, but since it represents BAD DOGS so well, along with the other reasons I've mentioned, I feel like the Project Sekai team really wanted to do this.

2. Song Analysis

I've talked about how the song represents the events of the main story, but I feel like the lyrics symbolize not just that; I would say they also represent Akito and Touya, how they feel about each other, and their personal relationship. And so, here I will look into Aun no Beats' lyrics, and talk about what I feel they represent: (Note that I'll be posting all the Aun no Beats lyrics, for the sake of putting everything here, but I won't analyze all of them!)

🥞♪ Everyone has gone somewhere and became nothing 🥞♪ They had it coming ☕️♪ I wanted to believe it, so I stopped voicing it out

Everyone has gone somewhere and became nothing // They had it coming, lines sung by Akito, would represent how Touya left him, leaving him alone once again. The became nothing part can be viewed as Akito expressing his frustration at how they're nothing by themselves (both him and Touya). And the They had it coming could be about Akito's reaction to their break up, with Akito punching Touya. He "deserved" it, he believes; therefore, this part of the song would be Akito expressing his frustration at how everything went down, anger at his partner, and anger at himself. On the other hand, though, this line can also be considered from Akito's point of view, singing about himself — They had it coming being how he deserved this, because of his reaction, because of something he must have done wrong, because he didn't notice his partner's feelings... Akito is a character who is very harsh on himself, he regrets that they ended up like this, that he reacted like that, and so, he believes he had this coming. Then, I wanted to believe it, so I stopped voicing it out, sung by Touya, is about how he feels about himself: believing he's not a worthy partner for Akito, with half-hearted feelings, but keeping it to himself... deep down, he enjoyed singing with Akito, and wanted to keep doing it, but due to his insecurities, he pretended he was just singing with him because it was better than nothing. Therefore, he wanted to believe it was fine to sing with Akito, even though he thought he didn't deserve it. He didn't talk about how he truly felt, and even when he faced Akito when his insecurities peaked, he lied; he avoided telling the truth, he avoided voicing it out, because, for Touya, disappointing Akito would be worse than losing him.

🥞♪ Why do I want to be loved? ☕️♪ Why do I want to love? ☕️♪ I dressed it up and shared it

(cracks knuckles) I've already talked about these lines in the past, multiple times, and also love as a theme in Vivid BAD SQUAD; but I really like it, so I will do it again. While I think these lines can be associated to the events of their "divorce arc", Akito's Why do I want to be loved? and Touya's Why do I want to love? are, pretty much, the core of their characters, and a very significant part of their characterization and personalities. Akito is a character with a lot of love to give: love for music and his goal, love for the town, love for those he admires, love for his partner... however, that love is often not reciprocated. People make fun of him, they don't take him seriously; the town doesn't love him back at first. Why do I want to be loved? symbolizes Akito's desire to be loved back, how he wants people to respect him and to take him seriously. Akito wants the love he receives to match the love he provides. This line would represent, too, how he loves and appreciates Touya: the guy he met who he found interesting and immediately knew that he wanted to share his dream with; that person who had been singing next to him the previous two years, practicing endlessly with him; always listening to him, taking him seriously, respecting him; always by his side... and Akito wants that love to be reciprocated. And even though he knows Touya feels the same, he wants to hear those words. On the other hand, Touya is a character with a lack of love in his life: trapped since he was young in a home where his family barely provided him love, only really caring about his musical skills, Touya grew up away from a life where he could be free and express himself properly, attempting to meet his parents' expectations and his love for music diminishing as time passed. Ultimately, he ran away from that life, but after meeting Akito, he could enjoy music, once again, even though he's not aware of it at first. Why do I want to love? symbolizes Touya's inexperience with love; not used to being loved, having forgotten how to enjoy music, and not knowing what it's like to have someone close to him — a friend that cares about him, he didn't really know what "love" is like... furthermore, this line also symbolizes his desire to give back to Akito and to everyone else who has supported and watched over him, grateful for their support and for pushing him forward, helping Touya find himself and learning what it's like to be loved. In the past, Touya believed that Akito could do better, that he wasn't worthy of being by his side, that he was singing with him because "it's not classical music"... but he didn't realize that Akito truly cares about him, and wanted to have him as partner, above anybody else; and that, even if he ran away from classical music, even after all the pain he went through because of it, he still loves music, and he realizes that thanks to Akito.

🥞 You love music. You love it like an idiot, you really do. You love it… and I know that better than anyone else!

Touya thought that he'd disappoint Akito by telling him how he feels... but, besides the fact that Akito knew those feelings are not true, he would never be disappointed in Touya — because he loves his partner above anybody else. Touya is the one and only partner he could ask for; and Touya's so grateful to Akito for that, for making him realize that he's loved, appreciated, and that he still loves music, after everything. And thanks to Akito's words, and all the love he provided, the current Touya is so much happier with his life, able to express his emotions better, and no longer bound back by a miserable life of unrealistic expectations. He can now be his own person; and so, the reason why he wants to love is because he wants to repay everyone's kindness, supporting his partner and teammates, and helping everyone in any way he can — Touya wants to reciprocate the love of the people that allowed him to find a place where he can laugh. Love is a very central theme for Akito and Touya as characters (and for Vivid BAD SQUAD as a whole), not just for music and everything that surrounds them, but also for each other, with it being a very prominent part of their relationship: Akito giving lots of love, always caring for his partner and having helped him find himself and learn about a whole new world, surrounded by people that actually care about and love him; and Touya learning to love, grateful for everything that his partner did for him, wanting to repay his kindness, and a desire for Akito to rely on him more — he wants to give all that love back. Which is why the lines of Why do I want to be loved? and Why do I want to love? fit them so well; because it's what they're missing, and what they want from the other. In short, these two lines are very significant to their relationship and how they feel about each other, and I really like it a lot.

☕️♪ I— 🥞☕️♪ My sympathy is due to vagueness 🥞☕️♪ And my fearless sensory 🥞♪ Don't worry, don't worry, it's okay 🥞♪ I will make you smile

Despite the briefness of the line, I believe that the I- is pretty significant; it being a Touya line, it represents his hesitation to speak up his feelings up until then, and keeping them hidden rather than voicing out what he wants to say. Don't worry, don't worry, it's okay // I will make you smile, lines sung by Akito, are quite nice, as they symbolize multiple things: first, Don't worry, don't worry, it's okay is about how Akito wants to reassure Touya that voicing out his feelings is fine, he'll accept Touya no matter what. He wants to hear how his partner feels, and he'd never be disappointed in him. Then, I will make you smile is how Akito wants the best for Touya; to make him feel happy, loved, accepted. It shows all the love Akito holds for his partner, and his genuine wish to be by his side, and make him smile. No matter what, Akito will always be with Touya.

☕️♪ So, giving and receiving, ☕️♪ Stay here so you won't disappear 🥞♪ Then, 🥞♪ "Please reply to me, too"

So, giving and receiving, // Stay here so you won't disappear, both lines sung by Touya, are really good and pretty significant. First, So, giving and receiving, is also a core part of Akito and Touya's relationship, closely tied with what I talked about love in the Why do I want to be loved? // Why do I want to love? section.

Their relationship can really be boiled down to giving and receiving, a mutual exchange of love, respect, help, feelings, dreams... they share everything, they give and receive things from each other, and this allows them to grow as people, together. They make each other whole, and that's what makes them inseparable partners — they're each other's one and only partner. Following that, Stay here so you won't disappear, it represents Touya's yearning for Akito, not wanting him to leave him, despite these insecure feelings he has, these feelings he thinks will disappoint Akito. No matter what, he wants Akito with him... and he'd rather lie than disappoint the one he loves. And then we have Akito's, Then, // Please reply to me, too. This is a direct response to Touya's Stay here so you won't disappear, which symbolizes Akito wanting to hear how Touya truly feels, so they'll stay together; representing that moment during their dispute where Akito tells Touya to voice out how he really feels, but Touya keeping his feelings to himself. Akito wants to hear how Touya truly feels, to hear what's wrong. He doesn't want to let go of Touya the same way Touya doesn't want Akito to leave him.

☕️♪ I held up my heart to you, ☕️♪ Give it back someday, be gentle, okay? 🥞♪ I really wanted to go back 🥞♪ Going back after this is fine, too

Then we have these lines, which I think symbolizes them right after their break up and how they feel. I held up my heart to you // Give it back someday, be gentle, okay?, sung by Touya. This line would represent how Touya trusted Akito, how he enjoyed their time together, even if he never expressed it, and deep down regretting what he said, hoping his partner will forgive him. Akito then sings I really wanted to go back // Going back after this is fine, too; the first one showing his regret towards their fight, and the second line showing that he still wants to be with his partner, after all. He won't accept it, he won't give up on his partner and leave it like this. He'll fight for his partner. This part is interesting since their lines have a similar structure, with the first one showing "regret" or wanting what they had before their break up (I held up my heart to you and I really wanted to go back), while the second line symbolizes their hope to be reunited again eventually (Give it back someday, be gentle, okay? and Going back after this is fine, too).

🥞♪ We... 🥞☕️♪ We— 🥞☕️♪ We were going to be together forever 🥞☕️♪ We were going to be together forever ☕️♪ Don't worry, don't worry ☕️♪ It's a wonderful end for us both

Akito's solo We... is really good, as it comes right after his Going back after this is fine, too; he still talks about himself and Touya in plural. He wants to be with him, after all; to be partners, once again, because there's nobody else he'd rather be with. Comparing Akito's We... with Touya's previous I— is interesting; Touya's earlier line is about hesitating to speak up, unconfident about being by Akito's side, while Akito's line, on the other hand, shows confidence in wanting to be together and still thinking of them as a duo, even if they're currently apart. Which is, frankly, quite a nice contrast, since later on, it's Akito who's more unconfident (in his skill and himself), while Touya's confident in wanting to be by Akito's side. Akito and Touya are very contrasting characters, and even here it shows; these contrasts really make them fit to be together, like they're made to be with each other — they make up for the other's faults, and that allows them to push each other ahead and grow together. Following that, there's another We—, this time being a shared line, showing how they still want to be with each other; and two We were going to be together forever afterwards, also sung by both of them, show that they both feel the same: regretting what happened between them, and yearning to be together. However, these lines are followed by Touya's Don't worry, don't worry // It's a wonderful end for us both; these symbolize Touya thinking that no longer being Akito's partner is the best outcome for both of them, and how he believes that Akito's better off without a half-hearted guy like him and that he can find someone better than him — someone who actually takes music seriously the same way Akito does.

🥞♪ So, giving and receiving, 🥞♪ I never needed to look for the words 🥞☕️♪ Even so, 🥞☕️♪ I wanted to hear them from you

Once again, the line So, giving and receiving, appears, this time sung by Akito. As mentioned before, this is a core part of Akito and Touya's relationship, and with both of them singing the same line, we know that their relationship is one of mutual exchange, that is, giving and receiving; providing to each other what they're looking for, and making each other whole in the process. I never needed to look for the words, sung by Akito, is also an important aspect of Akito and Touya's relationship; as long time partners, by now they know each other really well, and as time passes and they grow together and experience more things alongside the other, their bond will become even more inseparable, not needing to put into words how they truly feel — individually, and about each other. By the point of the main story, their relationship is still relatively early (even though they had been singing for two years together already by then), and they hadn't experienced any major setbacks, simply singing together and enjoying themselves, so they weren't truly close yet — but still, they knew, deep down, how the other felt... which is why Akito thinks that he never needed to look for the words; no matter what Touya said, he knew Touya still loved music, and that he enjoyed singing by Akito's side, and that he wanted to be with him. Even if he never truly expressed himself, Akito knew how his partner felt, which is what makes their bond so strong. ... However, as the next lines say: Even so, // I wanted to hear them from you, lines sung by both of them, they both still wanted to hear those words from each other. They want to hear how each other feels; Touya wanting to be reassured that Akito wants to be with him, and Akito wanting Touya to open himself up. As partners... they want the other to rely on them, to help them and to guide them; so they can become the best partners, and reach their goal together. And for that, they need to communicate; even if it may not be necessary at one point, as they'll know each other without a need for words, voicing out their feelings is necessary to get through this setback — to reach each other.

☕️♪ "We were going to be together forever" 🥞♪ "We were going to be together forever" ☕️♪ Even so... 🥞♪ Even so... 🥞☕️♪ Even so... 🥞☕️♪ "I want you to say it to me"

And with this, we reach the finale of the song, with both of them saying "We were going to be together forever" and Even so... once, before saying Even so... together, and ending it with "I want you to say it to me". All of these have appeared before, with "We were going to be together forever" expressing, once again, their regrets of having ended up like this, and the multiple Even so... expressing that, even though they're like this, they want to fix their relationship... they want to hear how the other feels. They have a desire to communicate to be with each other, yet again; as they complete each other. They're the best partner the other could ask for, and they want to keep being together. Forever.

3. Conclusion

And that's it for Aun no Beats' lyrics! Pretty much all the lyrics can be somehow related to Akito and Touya's story and the events of the main story, and their relationship, which is so great. The fact it fits them so well makes all the aforementioned facts, such as their middle birthday happening to coincide with the same day as Aun no Beats' original version's anniversary day, and how the Sekai team went out of their way to add this song to the game even though they wouldn't benefit financially from it, very interesting. Could it truly be a coincidence? Oh I am so curious... Aun no Beats is a song that can be interpreted as a couple with a close bond that has been separated, a song with a sad ending; and this plot sounds very much like Akito and Touya's "divorce arc" during the main story. Fortunately, their relationship was fixed and now they're a stronger couple than ever. As I've explained in past essays, even though their relationship may not be inherently romantic, because Vivid BAD SQUAD's "partner" (aibou) does not have the romantic meaning that the western partner does, their relationship is very reminiscent of a romantic couple: as of current story events, Akito and Touya are very much like an old married couple, experienced in relationships and being together (as partners), and everything they go through and how they interact with each other really can give off romantic vibes sometimes (look at Let It Ring! Beautiful Sound!'s Touya's card's side stories, for example; the way Akito reacted at Touya was so... unusual of a regular pair of friends); while An and Kohane are a newly formed couple that is still learning to be together and how to be partners, with Akito and Touya guiding them through this new experience as an experienced couple. Although the previous paragraph was slightly unrelated to the essay, the point I am trying to make is that Aun no Beats is often interpreted as a couple that has broken up or that has been separated by death, so the romantic associations for Akito and Touya's relationship are existent. This is definitely up to interpretation, of course, but I believe Akito and Touya are one of the pairs with most chemistry in the game, due to how they're pretty much made to be together, as they complement each other so much, between their contrasts and their personalities. Their break up during the main story was quite similar to how an actual couple would fight, due to their mistakes and lack of communication leading to an argument and split up. However, they manage to make up, and they become partners once again, and their bond has been inseparable since, growing further as they keep singing by the other's side. Their relationship, in the end, is all about giving and receiving; relying on each other, loving and learning to love back, and supporting each other by making up for the other's shortcomings. They grow and learn together, they desire to sing together, and they yearn to be by each other's side. This is, after all, what it means to be partners. And together, they can surpass anything. They're fated to be together, and there's nothing that can separate them anymore. They're each other's best partner they could ask for.

4. Afterword

And with this, the essay is done. Truthfully, I've struggled a bit to write since my last essay, and I am still halfway through Part 4 of the Freedom and Captivity series essay; I may have stressed myself by putting on unrealistic deadlines, first meant for August 1, then for August 19. It wasn't necessary at all to release it on August 1, and it was more of continuing the joke, but I did want to get something out for August 19 because it's a very special day. Fortunately, I got a bit inspired, and I had the idea of writing this... and I wrote it in like, 2 days? (lol) And I'm glad I did because it's a very fitting essay for this day, talking about both Akito and Touya's relationship (since August 19 is their middle birthday) and Aun no Beats (song originally released on this day, too). I'm satisfied, and I'm relieved I can take my time to finish the next essay, since there's no deadlines now... from now on I won't set deadlines so close to the actual thing, haha. To finish off, I'd like to thank my friend Dainn for supporting me as I wrote, both this and the previous essay that I failed to finish in time; I appreciate it a lot!! Also thanks for proofreading my essays as always. And thanks to artemis for proofreading it, too; consider this my gift to you for getting T100 in Let It Ring! Beautiful Sound! Congratulations! Anyways, thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed this essay! See you next time!

[grapejuicestyless]

Happier

Harry Styles x fem!reader

Summery: Y/n is not happy, despite the smile etched into her face, and nobody can see that, nobody but Harry, who can’t seem to express his concern in a gentle way.

“You look happier.”

What am I supposed to say to that? Thank you? I don’t mean to be mean when nobody meant any harm, but it feels so casually cruel for someone to pick up on the way I’ve changed and mistake my spiraling for happiness.

I don’t know the true shape of my face. My cheeks were round most of my life, meant to be kneaded between the fingers of my working class grandmother while she baked in the kitchen, but more recently the skin has fallen from the bone and what was once rolled between wrinkled fingers is tighter to my face as it strangles me from the inside out.

I don’t recognize myself either. Maybe I never did, because even when I search for the girl I once was, I can never seem to find her. I remember running around as a child with my best friend, the grass stains on my jeans and the holes in my sweater from tug of war’s in his backyard. She was happy, even if she looked tired. She was the happiest I’d ever been, but she was so young. She hadn’t found herself yet and maybe that’s what made life so good, the ignorance of the real world and how it would shape her.

Maybe the real me is the person who reaches out to her friends when she misses them, or maybe its the girl who counted down the days to her seventeenth birthday so she could finally relate to the lyrics of Dancing Queen and mean it finally. But maybe it’s the girl who sits in bed staring at the ceiling wondering why she never made it where everyone else was going. Maybe it’s the girl who wished her mother cared just a little bit more to stop comparing her to her “smarter” friends when she was twelve.

So maybe I do look happy, maybe I am happy. Maybe I have never felt happy before and maybe that’s why I feel so conflicted about if I truly am or if I am just projecting it out to seem that way.

“Harry.”

I call into the darkness, wandering the house party in a sweaty costume sticky with splashes of beer on the fabric, only half of the costume I came with.

The hallway is long and winding, but it always feels that way when I’m not exactly sure if I’m going in the right direction.

“Harry?” I call out again, spotting the other half of my costume.

“Y/n.” He smiles with a sigh, like even though the smoke between his fingers is taking off the edge, I’ve just calmed the entire air surrounding him. For me, it’s the same feeling. When he’s near, everything seems to slow down for a moment. After about the thousandth comment on how much better I looked from some friends of friends, he disappeared, and maybe that’s why their integrating looks bother me so much, because theres no hand to hold onto to distract me from myself.

I slide against the wall to sit with him, my eyes finding purchase on the same cracks across the thin hallway as he did, and the warm blunt being lazily passed from his fingers to mine.

“I think you’re rubbing all your glitter onto my pants.” he breathes out casually into the comfortable silence. I feel the tension in my shoulders expand before fading.

“I think it’s in my eyes too.”

“Just when I thought they couldn’t shine any brighter.” Harry lifts his hand to hook his index finger around my chin, smiling like an idiot when he sees my lips curl comfortably around the joint.

“Well, maybe I feel better than usual. It’s finally reflecting back to you.”

I joke, feeling sick as I recall the conversation from before. I look happier, as if to suggest that before I was miserable, and even if they weren’t wrong about that, the fact that anyone could read that without a second glance scared me. How a stranger could read me before I could.

“Well, you look like shit if you do.”

“Ouch, that obvious?”

“If I counted each time you rolled your eyes when someone told you that whole speech about how good you look, I’d run out of fingers.”

Harry laughs as he takes back the weed to finish it off. I’ve already drank more than him, so the sway in my body becomes more noticeable as the burn sears down my throat.

“It’s just so…wrong. I mean, I guess I feel okay, but do I really look good enough for all this praise?” I ask quietly into the night, my knees pressing against my chest as I hug my calves tightly between my sweaty palms.

“I think you’re very pretty, Y/n. You are pretty. But your face is changing and no amount of glitter can cover that up.” He tells me honestly, rubbing out the dying end onto his knee and sighing at the burn.

“If you still believe that then I haven’t used enough glitter.” I try to joke, to brush away the rising bile in my throat and tension in the air.

“You can fool anyone else, but I know you. Even if you’re not who you once were, I still know you because I love you.”

“Well you shouldn’t. I’m a leech. I’ll fucking suck up all the joy from your life until you’re too exhausted to leave.” I smiled at the ground drunkenly, head hung low and my eyes heavy.

“But I do. You’re my best friend and it’s pathetic how you let yourself fall so low.” Harry flicks out the end of the blunt, watching the ashes fall the floor and stain the carpet lining the thin hallway.

“I came to you for comfort, you know. Not to get drilled in a bunny costume.” I roll my eyes, the haze clearing at his bitter remarks.

“Well tough luck, I guess. You look like shit for a girl who everyone here thinks is so happy.” Harry looks at me, his hand moving to wipe away the glitter by my eye.

“I need air.” I stand up, almost stumbling against the faint curling of the carpet at the edges. It’s new and that’s how you can tell, it hasn’t fully sunken into the floor, and it’s such a shame that it’s forever stuck with the glitter from my costume and the ashes of Harry’s joint.

“You need help.”

I stop, and there’s a beat that passes.

“You’re a real asshole when you’re high, you know. I have my own shit, I don’t need to be taking yours too.” I smile at him, but only because he was smiling at me.

“Maybe I am.” He responds plainly, and when he looks the other way, I feel heavier than before, more picked apart than before, more vulnerable than before.

Theres a thousand eyes on my back just waiting for me to crack, like the chip in my tooth from how hard I’m smiling while talking to strangers about my hopeless life. And they all say I look happier.

“But y/n,” Harry calls out for me, and for a moment I believe he might apologize.

“You look happy.”

[lucy90712]

Jude Bellingham with a bookworm reader going to the bookstore, like those videos on Tiktok where the boyfriends buy a bunch of books to their girlfriends 🥹

A/n: I had to post this today as it's my birthday and I got so many books so this seems fitting 

I woke up this morning to the feeling of kisses being pressed to my face and neck from Jude. I kept my eyes closed for a bit longer so he would keep kissing me but he caught on quickly that I was awake so I was made to open my eyes but I was rewarded for doing so with a kiss on my lips. He is usually quite affectionate but this morning he's being extra affectionate which I'm definitely not complaining about. Jude wasn't satisfied with just kisses though he wanted to cuddle so he moved my boom that was laying on my stomach from me falling asleep reading it and pulled me into his chest to cuddle. 

"Happy birthday my love" Jude said 

"Thank you" I said 

"I hope you're ready as I have a few surprises ready for you" he said 

"I'd like to think I'm ready but I never know with you there's always a chance that you will try and take me skydiving or something" I laughed 

"I promise I'm not going to do that you are going to love what I have planned" he said 

We cuddled in bed together for a while longer before he picked me up out of bed and carried me downstairs where he had set up balloons and banners which weren't there when we went to bed so he must've got up after I'd fallen asleep to do it all. There was also cards and presents sat on the table waiting for me some of which were clearly from my parents which he must've helped them send. Jude was still yet to put me down and he carried me to the spare room downstairs in his house which he didn't know what to with. Finally he put me down outside the door and made me close my eyes while he opened the door and lead me inside. I was a little scared as Jude's surprises can either be great or terrifying I always think about the time he surprised me with a giant spider he'd caught which freaked me out but he found so funny. 

He walked me inside and then allowed me to open my eyes which is when I saw what he'd done. The room which was completely empty now had book shelves across two of the walls and a comfortable chair with a lamp beside it. He'd made me a reading room because he knows how much I love reading. I read during every spare second in my life on my days off I read, before I got to bed I read even when a Jude takes me to his training sessions I spend most of the time reading. Books have always been my first love and I have so many of them but until now I had nowhere to put them so they are all in boxes hidden away in our garage. The fact that Jude had even thought about making this room a space for me to read in nearly made me tear up then he told me he built all the shelves himself whenever I wasn't home I couldn't stop a few tears leaving my eyes. 

"This is so amazing thank you so much" I said trying to hold back more tears 

"Its ok I'm glad you like it I realised that this house just feels like my home with my gym and all of the trophies and pictures hanging up so I wanted you to have your own space where you can do what you enjoy" Jude said 

"You're the best boyfriend ever I hope you know that" I said jumping into his arms to hug him 

We decided that later we would start organising my books onto the shelves but we didn't have time right now as Jude said he still has more surprises in store. First we had to get ready as he told me we are going to breakfast with some friends before we can do our next activity. Jude has really gone all out for my birthday this year which isn't necessary as all I really want is to spend the day together but he always promised me when we first got together when we were 17 that once he made it in football he'd spoil me and I guess this is him doing that. Last year we didn't get to spend my birthday together because we had conflicting schedules so Jude promised he'd make my next birthday perfect which he's doing a good job so far. 

Breakfast with our friends was really nice I haven't seen them in a while as Jude and I have been away so it was nice to catch up and they all gave me lovely gifts. We couldn't stay long as Jude insisted we had somewhere to be but he wouldn't tell me or even our friends where we were going. Once we were back in the car he made me close my eyes as he put in the address in case I knew where we were going and then again when we got closer I had to keep my eyes closed again so I couldn't see where we ended up. Jude even helped me out the car so nothing would be spoiled until he was ready for me to see. 

I heard the noise of a bell like the ones they have on the doors of smaller shops to signal that someone has come in which is exactly when I was allowed to have my sight back. Once my eyes adjust I realised that we were in a book store and not just any book store the one I always see on my way home from work but have never been into as I usually don't have time to stop. The entire place was empty which had me confused until Jude said that he had rented out the store for an hour so I could walk around and look at all the books with no one bothering me. I didn't need more encouragement than that to start walking down all the rows and rows filled with books to look at them all. 

I've never had a favourite genre or author I just love reading any book that sounds like it had an interesting storyline. Even though they say don't judge a book by its cover I definitely do as if I can see that a book as a cool cover I am more likely to pick it up and read the back. I picked up quite a few books off the shelves all of which were interesting and seemed like a good read but I was selective on the ones I kept hold of as I know if I let myself I'd just read everything in the whole store. I was so in my own world that I completely forgot that Jude was even there I spent my time looking at books and talking to myself about whether they seemed good or not. If I could live in a bookstore like this one I'd be happy forever and I suppose if Jude was here that would make it even better but even without him I'd be happy if I was surrounded by this many books. 

After I'd walked through the whole store I had five books in my arms which were the best books I found in the store. That was when I remembered that Jude was there and I turned around to find him as he could've left in the time that I was in my own world. He hadn't left though he was stood right behind me holding even more books that I’d picked up but ultimately put down. I looked at him confused but he just had a big smile on his face. 

"What are you doing?" I asked 

"I want you to fill up your little home library and I know you have a lot of books but you'll finish those books you've got in less than a month and I want you to still have something to look forward to reading at least until Christmas when I can top up your to read list again" he said 

"That's really sweet of you but I don’t need this many books plus it'll cost a lot of money" I said 

"Well it's a good thing I have the money to spend on them then but seriously don't worry about how much it costs I'm doing this as I want to spoil you you never spend money on yourself so please let me do this for you" he said 

"As long as you promise you won't do this all the time and it's just this once then I'll let you" I said 

"I promise now come on let's get all these books and head home to put them all on the shelves" Jude smiled 

I think Jude was so much more excited about putting together what he likes to call my mini library. As soon as we got back home he went and got all the boxes we've stored away while I got us some snacks and drinks to fuel us as we start what will be a long task. First I had to decide how I wanted to organise everything which was hard but in the end I decided to do it by author as I'll be able to keep better track of where everything is that way. I got all the books together and Jude put them up on the shelves for me which was the easy part of the job as I spent more time telling him about the storyline of some of the books I'd forgotten about but loved so much. Jude has never been a reader but he still listens to me whenever I'm telling him about whatever book I'm reading and he makes an effort to always ask me about my current read which really means a lot to me as it shows he understands that reading is to me what football is to him. 

It took hours but eventually we had every single book on the shelves in alphabetical order based on author. It was a magnificent sight the walls that were plain the last time I came in here are now covered with the many colours of the books I own which made me feel weirdly calm and at home. This room is definitely going to become my safe space where I can come when I need to get away and that's the best present Jude has ever given me. 

"I'm not going to see you for a week straight now we've finished this am I" Jude laughed 

"Possibly but if you join me and read one of the books then you'll see me" I said 

"I'd much prefer you read a book to me I love listening to you read" he said 

"I think that can be arranged but you have to decide what book you want to read so I'd get looking there's a lot to choose from" I laughed 

"I'll think about that tomorrow right now I want to spend the rest of your birthday spoiling you" he said 

"You are definitely doing a good job of that so far I've had the best birthday" I said 

[kitasgloves]

Thinking about seeing your ex-lover SAKUSA KIYOOMI. In a crowded room during a mutual friend's birthday party.

Everybody adored you and him back when you were together. It seemed to everyone that you and Sakusa complimented each other perfectly. Like two sides of the same coin. Yin and Yang. Dusk and Dawn. Summer and Winter. Like you were fated to meet and be together forever, you both thought the same thing.

When you and Sakusa met eyes years after separating, there were identical somber smiles on both of your features. You walked towards him, you were always the one to approach him first. He chuckles at the fact. Even if romance failed you both, you and Sakusa remained friends. After all, you were friends at the beginning before lovers.

"Hey, how are you doing?"

You spoke with a genuine smile. Sakusa knew you were better at conversation than he was because he preferred listening to you for hours. He returns the gesture.

"I'm well. Though this season had a rough start"

"How's volleyball, lately?"

"It's still okay. My teammates remained insufferable as always"

He replies and this draws a laugh out of you. God, he missed hearing that. A part of him remained selfish to know that somebody else gets to hear it now. From what he gathers, you're not in a relationship at the moment. It brought a tiny portion of solace to him. Sakusa thought how perfect it was to slide back into a relationship with you again considering he hadn't found anybody yet. He doubts anyone would replace you.

"I like your new hair color"

"Oh, thanks! God, I was afraid that I would like shit"

"No, it doesn't. Anything suits you, in my opinion"

Sakusa replies and there is a familiar glimmer in his eyes, a soft upward curl of his lips is present. Your heart unwillingly skips a beat.

Damn you, you handsome beast

You softly glared at him. On the surface, anybody would've never thought that you and he broke up, the closeness still lingered even if you and he fell apart. But if one were to look closer, ache laced in every smile, laugh, and look you and Sakusa exchanged.

The history you shared with him was irreplaceable. There were no regrets, but heartbreak instead. The romance was not fit to stay between you and Sakusa. Conflicts were inevitable to hurt both of you and the solution was to kill the tenderness only lovers shared. You thought it was reasonable, and Sakusa was a rational man. If it won't work, then you shouldn't force it, it only further complicates things.

But it hurts like shit to acknowledge that the yearning for each other was there. You still loved him. And from that stupid soft gaze, he only gives to you, Sakusa returned the sentiment. But to try again would only bring doom in the end. As you cast your heart away when he walked off, you couldn't help but think to yourself with glassy eyes: would there still be a chance again someday?

I'm trying to hurt myself to feel something lmao

[lila-lou]

✨His true fate - Part 1/?✨

Summary: Jensen hasn't been happy for years. But it seems almost impossible for him to escape. After another nasty argument between him and his wife, he decides to visit his ´former´ best friend for his birthday. Back in Austin, an encounter awaits him that will turn his life completely upside down.

Pairing: Jensen x Reader

Warnings: Language, age gap, tough topics

Word Count: 4167

A/N: Alright. I'm only going to write this once. Danneel doesn't come off well in this story. She's pretty much described as the devil himself. She does and says things that are absolutely awful. In this Story she's pretty much the biggest bitch. I don't want to hear any complaints because it's just a story. Fiction. No hate towards anyone. So, that being said, I hope you enjoy reading it.

English isn’t my first language, so please be lenient. 💙✨

Jared parked in front of the airport in Austin, his fingers tapping restlessly on the steering wheel. It had been too long since he had seen Jensen outside of the conventions. This visit was different, just for spending time together, no panels, no crowds. As he waited, Jared couldn't help but feel a surge of excitement mixed with a hint of nervousness. It was the first time Jensen was visiting him after he moved away from Austin, a chance for them to catch up without the chaos of their usual meet-ups.

As Jared watched the stream of passengers disembarking from the plane, his mind drifted back to the rocky path that had led them to this moment. Their friendship had weathered its fair share of storms, strained by distance, conflicting schedules, and the pressures of their respective careers. Yet, despite the challenges, they had somehow found their way back to each other. It had taken time, effort, and countless late-night conversations, but slowly, they had begun to rebuild what they had once thought lost.

This weekend, as they celebrated Jared's birthday together, it felt like a new chapter unfolding. Jensen's decision to fly to Austin, despite his busy filming and convention schedule, spoke volumes about the strength of their renewed bond. As Jared caught sight of Jensen emerging from the crowd, a genuine smile spread across his face, washing away any lingering doubts or tensions. This weekend was about reconnecting, about rediscovering the camaraderie that had always defined their relationship.

Jensen opened the trunk and unceremoniously tossed his suitcase inside before collapsing into the passenger seat with a heavy sigh. He ran a hand through his tousled hair, looking every bit as exhausted and worn-out as Jared had feared.

"Wow, someone looks like they've been through the wringer", Jared teased, a playful grin tugging at the corners of his lips as he started the car.

Jensen shot him a mock glare, his eyes heavy with fatigue. "Thanks, Jared. Always great to get a warm welcome", he quipped, though there was a hint of amusement in his voice despite his worn-out demeanor.

"Just calling it like I see it, man", Jared chuckled, pulling out of the parking spot and heading towards the exit. "But seriously, you look like you could use a week-long vacation on a deserted island".

"Tell me about it", Jensen muttered, sinking back into the seat and closing his eyes for a moment. "Filming has been brutal lately. I swear, I'm starting to feel every single one of my thirty-something years".

Jared couldn't help but chuckle at Jensen's dramatics. "Thirty-something? More like ancient, old man", he teased, earning himself a playful shove from Jensen.

"Hey, watch it, Padalecki. I may be old, but I can still kick your ass", Jensen retorted with a smirk, the weariness momentarily forgotten as the car with little laughter.

As Jared merged onto the highway, the gentle hum of the car filled the silence between them. Glancing over at Jensen, he couldn’t shake the nagging feeling that there was more going on beneath the surface.

“So, it’s just the filming that’s got you looking like you’ve aged a decade overnight?”, Jared ventured, keeping his tone light but his concern evident.

Jensen let out a heavy sigh, his gaze fixed on the passing scenery outside the window. “Yeah, filming’s been intense, but that’s not all of it”, he admitted, his voice tinged with resignation.

Jared knew better than to push too hard, but he couldn’t ignore the sense of unease that settled in the pit of his stomach. “Is everything okay at home?”, he asked tentatively, knowing full well the delicate balance Jensen was trying to maintain.

Jensen’s jaw tightened, a flicker of pain crossing his features before he masked it with a forced smile. “Yeah, everything’s fine”, he replied, his tone betraying the lie.

But Jared wasn’t about to let him off that easily. “Come on, man. You don’t have to pretend with me”, he pressed gently, his concern outweighing any discomfort he felt broaching the topic.

Jensen hesitated for a moment before finally speaking, his voice barely above a whisper. “Things… haven’t been great”, he admitted, his gaze fixed on his hands folded in his lap.

Jared could sense Jensen's internal struggle, the weight of unspoken words hanging heavy in the air. Before he could push him further, however, Jensen seemed to retreat, throwing up his defenses like a shield.

"Hey, forget I said anything, okay?", Jensen mumbled, his voice barely audible over the sound of the car's engine. "Let's just focus on having a good time this weekend. I could really use a break… from everything".

Jared nodded, respecting Jensen's boundaries even as his heart ached for his friend's pain. "Yeah, of course", he replied, his tone gentle yet supportive. "We'll make sure this weekend is all about relaxing and having fun. No drama, no stress".

Jensen managed a small, grateful smile, though it didn't quite reach his eyes. "Thanks. I appreciate it", he said quietly, a hint of vulnerability slipping through his usual facade of strength.

As they continued down the highway, the weight of their unspoken conversations hung heavy in the air, but for now, they both agreed to set aside their worries.

As the miles flew by, a more simple conversation flowed easily between Jared and Jensen, the tension of their earlier exchange dissipating with each passing moment. It didn't even take 30 minutes until Jared pulled into the familiar driveway of his family home.

"Home sweet home", Jared announced with a grin, turning off the engine and casting a sideways glance at Jensen. "Welcome back to Casa Padalecki".

Jensen chuckled, the weariness in his eyes momentarily replaced by a spark of excitement. "Thanks, man. It's good to be here", he replied, the hint of a smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

As Jared and Jensen climbed the front porch steps, they were met with the eager faces of Tom and Shep peeking out from behind the screen door. The boys' eyes widened in disbelief at the sight of Jensen standing there, and their excitement was palpable.

"Uncle Jensen!", Tom exclaimed, darting forward to wrap his arms around Jensen in a tight hug, his enthusiasm bubbling over.

Shep followed suit, his smaller frame joining in the embrace as he grinned up at Jensen. "We didn't think you were really coming!", he said, his voice filled with a mix of surprise and joy.

Jensen chuckled warmly, returning their hugs with equal affection. "Well, here I am", he replied, tousling their hair playfully. "I couldn't miss the chance to hang out with you two".

As they stepped inside the house, laughter and chatter filled the air, the boys buzzing with excitement at the prospect of spending time with their favorite ´uncle´. Jared couldn't help but smile at the sight, grateful for the bond that had formed between Jensen and his sons over the years. With Jensen back in their lives, even just for the weekend, he knew that memories would be made and cherished for years to come.

As Tom and Shep dashed off to explore the backyard, their laughter echoing through the house, Jensen turned to Jared with a curious expression.

"So, where's Gen and mini Gen?", Jensen asked, a playful twinkle in his eye as he referred to Jared's wife and daughter.

Jared glanced at the clock on the wall, a knowing smile tugging at the corners of his lips. "They're out shopping", he replied, his voice tinged with amusement. "Looks like it's just us guys for now".

Jensen chuckled, nodding in understanding. "Ah, a little father-son bonding time, huh?", he remarked.

"Yeah, something like that", Jared replied, his gaze drifting toward the backyard where the sounds of his sons' laughter drifted in through the open door.

As the evening sun dipped below the horizon, casting a warm glow over the backyard, Jared and Jensen found themselves sitting side by side, beers in hand, watching as Tom and Shep played with the chickens.

Jared took a sip of his beer, breaking the comfortable silence that had settled between them. "So, how are the kids?", he asked, his tone casual but genuine.

Jensen's smile faltered slightly at the mention of his own children, a flicker of sadness crossing his features before he quickly masked it with a forced grin. "They're good", he replied, his voice tinged with a hint of uncertainty. "Busy with school and all that".

Jared nodded, though he could sense there was more to the story than Jensen was letting on. He had seen firsthand how Jensen had thrown himself into his work, often using it as a means of escape from the troubles at home.

"Must be tough juggling all that work and family", Jared remarked sympathetically, knowing all too well the pressures of balancing a career with family responsibilities.

"Yeah, it's… still challenging", Jensen admitted, his gaze drifting off into the distance. "But hey, enough about me. How's Gen and the kids? They keeping you on your toes?".

Jared chuckled, grateful for the diversion. "Always", he replied with a fond smile. "But wouldn't have it any other way".

As they sat together in the fading light, the sound of laughter and chatter filling the air, Jared couldn't shake the feeling that there was still so much left unsaid between them.

As the evening wore on and the sky darkened, Gen and Odette returned home, their arrival greeted with hugs and laughter from Jensen. They exchanged pleasantries and caught up on each other's lives, the warmth of their conversation filling the air.

However, as the hour grew late and the kids were ushered off to bed by Gen, a sense of tranquility settled over the house. Now alone in the quiet of the evening, Jared and Jensen found themselves relaxing on the porch once more, the glow of their beers casting long shadows in the dim light.

But their peace was short-lived as Jensen's phone rang, breaking the serene atmosphere with its shrill tone. With a frustrated groan, Jensen glanced at the caller ID, his annoyance evident.

"Danneel?", Jared asked quietly, his brow furrowing with concern as he watched Jensen quickly silence the call.

Jensen nodded, his jaw clenched in frustration. "Yeah", he muttered, his voice heavy with irritation. "Probably just checking in to make sure I'm not having too much fun".

Jared could sense the tension radiating from his friend, the weight of Jensen's strained marriage casting a shadow over their evening.

Jared let out a heavy sigh, the weight of unspoken words pressing heavily on his chest. Finally, unable to contain his thoughts any longer, he spoke up, his voice tinged with a mixture of frustration and concern.

"Jensen, can I ask you something?", Jared began, his gaze fixed on his friend. "Why won't you just finally leave her?".

The question hung in the air, laden with the weight of years of silence and suppressed emotions. Jared knew it was a delicate subject, one that had been tiptoed around for far too long, but he couldn't stand by any longer and watch his friend suffer in silence.

Jensen's expression hardened, a flicker of defiance crossing his features before he quickly masked it with a forced smile. "It's complicated. You know that", he replied evasively, his voice betraying the turmoil raging beneath the surface.

"But is it really?", Jared pressed, his tone gentle yet insistent. "I mean, I get that there are always reasons, but at what point do you say enough is enough?".

Jensen's jaw tightened, his gaze drifting off into the distance as he wrestled with his inner demons. "I wish it were that simple", he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper. "But you have no idea what she's capable of".

Jared's heart ached at the pain etched into Jensen's features, the deep-rooted fear and resignation that seemed to consume him. But he refused to back down, knowing that sometimes, the hardest conversations were the ones that needed to be had the most.

"I know it's fucking scary", Jared admitted softly, reaching out to place a reassuring hand on Jensen's shoulder. "But you don't have to face it alone, you know. We're here for you, no matter what".

Jensen's grip tightened around his beer bottle, frustration simmering beneath the surface. "You don't get it, Jared", he muttered, his voice tinged with bitterness. "If I try to leave, she'll make sure I never see my kids again. She'll ruin me. In every fucking way possible".

Jared's eyes narrowed, his patience wearing thin. "And what do you think she's doing right now? Keeping you trapped, suffocating you with her control", he retorted, his voice tinged with anger. "She's already ruining you, Jensen. Can't you see that?".

Jensen's jaw clenched, his fists balling at his sides as he struggled to find the words to express the turmoil raging within him. "I can't risk losing my kids, my image, my career", he finally admitted, his voice choked with emotion. "I can't".

Jared's heart ached for his friend, the pain etched into every line of his face. But he refused to let Jensen succumb to the fear and manipulation any longer.

"You're stronger than that, Jensen", Jared said firmly, his voice filled with conviction.

Jared's frustration softened into determination. "Listen to me, Jensen. You need to stop letting her control you", he said firmly, his voice unwavering. "You just need to get yourself a damn good lawyer".

Jensen's gaze flickered with uncertainty, the weight of Jared's words sinking in. "But what if it's not enough?", he whispered, his voice filled with doubt.

"It's a start", Jared replied, his tone resolute. "And you're not alone in this. We'll find you the best lawyer, one who'll fight tooth and nail to make sure she won´t ruin your life more than she already did".

As they sat in the quiet of the backyard, the weight of their conversation hanging heavy in the air, Jensen felt a glimmer of hope stir within him. Maybe, just maybe, there was a way out of the darkness that had consumed him for so long.

But then, with a heavy sigh, Jensen's resolve wavered as he confessed, "I can't take it anymore, Jared. Every time I'm home, I feel like I'm suffocating. I drown myself in conventions just to get away from her. And when I am home, I'm mostly drunk just to be able to deal with her".

Jared's heart sank at the raw honesty in Jensen's words, the pain and despair evident in every syllable. But he refused to let his friend continue down this destructive path.

"We'll figure it out, Jensen," Jared said firmly, his voice filled with conviction.

Jared knew how bad Jensen really was. For years he could do nothing but watch as Danneel destroyed his best friend. Publicly humiliated him, manipulated him and mentally abused him. She gradually destroyed his self-confidence, his friendships and caused him to isolate himself from everyone. Jared wanted nothing more than to finally see his best friend happy again. Truly happy. But with Danneel and her toxic personality by his side, that wouldn't happen. So he hoped to use the time they had together well enough to somehow get through to Jensen.

As Jensen made his way to the guestroom an hour later, the weight of the evening's conversation hung heavy on his shoulders, his mind consumed by a whirlwind of emotions and stress. Each step felt like a burden, the familiar sense of suffocation creeping in as he retreated from the warmth of Jared's home to the solitude of his temporary sanctuary.

Slipping into the guestroom, Jensen closed the door behind him with a heavy sigh, the darkness of the room enveloping him like a shroud. He sank onto the edge of the bed, his head in his hands as he tried to quiet the storm raging within him.

But despite his best efforts, the memories and fears clawed their way to the surface, threatening to overwhelm him with their intensity.

And as he lay there in the silence of the night, the weight of his burdens pressing down upon him, Jensen couldn't help but wonder if there would ever be a way out of the darkness that had consumed him for so long. But for now, all he could do was try to find solace in the quiet of the night, hoping that somehow, someway, he would find the strength to face another day.

The next morning, Jared and Gen bustled around the kitchen, the savory aroma of breakfast filling the air as they worked together with Odette by their side. The sound of laughter and chatter filled the room, a stark contrast to the heaviness that had hung over the house the night before.

As they set the table with plates of pancakes and fresh fruit, Jared glanced at Gen with a playful smirk. "Think Jensen will be able to handle waking up to the smell of your cooking?", he teased, earning a chuckle from his wife.

Gen rolled her eyes, though there was a hint of amusement in her expression. "He better be ready for the Padalecki family breakfast experience", she replied with a grin, her culinary skills on full display.

Just then, Tom bounded into the kitchen, his energy infectious as he eagerly awaited his next task. "Can I go wake up Uncle Jensen now, Dad?", he asked, his eyes sparkling with excitement.

Jared nodded with a smile, ruffling Tom's hair affectionately. "Go for it, buddy. Just try not to scare him too much", he replied, unable to contain his own amusement at the thought of Jensen's reaction to being roused from his slumber.

With a mischievous grin, Tom dashed off to carry out his mission, leaving Jared and Gen to share a knowing look.

As Tom made his way towards the guestroom, his excitement bubbling over, he couldn't help but feel a mischievous urge creeping in. Quietly, he slipped inside, tiptoeing towards Jensen's bed with a grin plastered on his face.

With a sly glance towards Jensen, still lost in slumber, Tom couldn't resist the temptation. He settled himself down beside Jensen, his heart racing with anticipation. And then, with a mischievous gleam in his eye, he let out a loud fart, breaking the silence of the room with a resounding blast.

Jensen jolted awake with a start, his eyes wide with shock as he stared at Tom in disbelief. "What the…", he sputtered, his voice trailing off as he tried to process what had just happened.

Tom couldn't contain his laughter, doubling over with mirth as he reveled in the chaos he had created. "Gotcha, Uncle Jensen!", he exclaimed between giggles, unable to contain his excitement at the successful prank.

Jensen instantly grimaced, his hand flying to cover his nose as the pungent odor assaulted his senses. "Oh, man, Tom! What did you eat?", he exclaimed, his voice muffled by his hand as he tried to escape the noxious fumes.

Tom doubled over with laughter, barely able to catch his breath between fits of giggles. "Sorry, Uncle Jensen!", he managed to squeak out between laughs.

Jensen waved his hand in front of his face, desperately trying to dispel the stench that hung in the air. "You're absolutely your dad's kid", he grumbled, his tone laced with both amusement and exasperation. "Damn, that fucking stinks!".

Again Jensen waved his hand in front of his face, still trying to rid the room of the lingering smell. "Alright, alright, Tom", he said with a chuckle, trying to mask his amusement. "Why don't you go air out that stinking butt of yours while I get dressed?".

Tom grinned mischievously, his laughter echoing through the room as he bounded out of the guestroom, leaving Jensen to shake his head in amusement.

Dressed and somehow awake, Jensen made his way towards the kitchen, the promise of breakfast and laughter drawing him forward.

Jensen took a seat at the table, a grin playing at the corners of his lips as he recounted Tom's prank to Jared. "You won't believe what your son just did", he chuckled, shaking his head in amusement.

Jared raised an eyebrow, his curiosity piqued. "Oh? What did he do this time?", he asked with a smirk, already bracing himself for another one of Tom's antics.

"He let out the loudest fart I've ever heard right next to my face", Jensen replied, his laughter infectious as he recounted the incident. "I swear, that kid is just like his old man".

Jared couldn't help but laugh at the image of his son terrorizing Jensen with his infamous flatulence. "Well, I guess he takes after me in more ways than one", he quipped, a proud smile spreading across his face.

Shep and Odette's laughter filled the room, their amusement at Tom's antics contagious as they teased their brother relentlessly. Gen couldn't help but shake her head affectionately at their sibling banter.

Turning to Jared, Gen's smile widened as she made a suggestion. "Hey, do you think you and Jensen could handle getting the drinks for tonight's party?", she asked, her tone hopeful as she looked between her husband and his friend.

Jared grinned at the idea, nodding eagerly. "Of course", he replied, excitement lighting up his eyes. "Consider it our mission. We'll make sure we have plenty of drinks to keep the party going all night long".

Jensen nodded in agreement. "You can count on us", he chimed in.

As they made plans for the evening's festivities, the anticipation of the birthday party ahead filled the room with a sense of excitement.

Two hours later, Jensen found himself sitting in the passenger seat of Jared's car, the hum of the engine and the rhythm of the road soothing his frayed nerves. They were on their way to the next liquor store, their mission to stock up for Jared's birthday party well underway.

Jared glanced over at Jensen with a grin, the excitement of the evening ahead evident in his eyes. "Ready to make a dent in the liquor aisle?", he joked, his tone light as he navigated through the traffic.

Jensen chuckled, a sense of camaraderie washing over him as he settled back into his seat. "You bet", he replied. "Just promise me we won't end up with more beer than we can carry".

Jared laughed, shaking his head at his friend's jest. "No promises", he teased, though there was a hint of mischief in his tone.

As Jared disappeared in search of the restroom, Jensen remained leaning against the overflowing shopping cart, his expression a mix of boredom and introspection. With each passing moment, he found himself sinking deeper into his own thoughts. Again the weight of his troubles pressing down on him like a suffocating blanket.

He couldn't shake the feeling of unease that gnawed at him from within, the nagging sense that he was trapped in a life that no longer brought him joy. Despite the excitement of Jared's birthday party looming on the horizon, Jensen couldn't escape the shadows of his own turmoil that threatened to engulf him at every turn.

Lost in his thoughts, Jensen barely noticed the bustle of shoppers around him as they navigated the crowded aisles of the liquor store. His mind was a whirlwind of memories and regrets, a tangled web of emotions that left him feeling adrift in a sea of uncertainty.

Lost in his thoughts, Jensen barely registered the collision until he felt the impact against his back. Startled, he stumbled forward, nearly losing his balance as he turned to see what had caused the disturbance.

"Hey, fucking watch where you're going!", he grumbled irritably, his frustration evident in his tone as he glanced over his shoulder.

But as he turned around, ready to unleash a torrent of curses, Jensen's words died on his lips as he met your gaze.

"Sorry", you apologized quickly, your cheeks flushing with embarrassment as you struggled to regain your composure and the bottles of whiskey in your arms. "I didn't see you there".

Jensen's irritation faded, his annoyance evaporating as he took in your apologetic expression. "It's okay", he replied more softly. "No harm done".

———————————

A/N: I wanted to give you a little preview. I don't know exactly when it will continue. If you want to be tagged, please let me know <3 It's going to be a damn long story, that's for sure, lol.

Please let me know what you think.🥰

-

Part 2

[jazzisackerman]

takemichi who gets guiltier every time he breaks his promise to not get into fights, but he knows you'll always be there to patch him up with a shake of your head and a kiss to the bridge of his nose.

mikey who steals bites of your snacks, laughing sweetly when you make a face at him. sometimes he'll leave you alone, but then he'll steal the taste of your treats off your lips later.

draken who flatly refuses all of your pleas to hitch a ride on his motorcycle, only for him to reveal one he'd been working on for months just for your birthday.

chifuyu who has established coming up behind you to wrap his arms around you and lift you up into the air as his default greeting, laughing as you squeal and kick your feet.

keisuke who let you name one of his cats, and now taiyaki is a very small and spoiled third-wheel on all of your dates, getting scooped into your arms as keisuke leans over to kiss the edge of your mouth.

mitsuya who didn't say much when you gave him a sweater you'd crocheted one day, but as he turned his face you could see a smile and a tint of pink in his cheeks.

kazutora who made a habit of coming into your apartment via the window at insane hours, but you reprimand him as he wraps you in his arms, smiling against the skin of your neck, saying "i missed you".

seishu who complains about being your "coffee boy", but he'll still show up outside the gates of your school with a cup every morning, huffing as you kiss him on the cheek, his hand ghosting your waist.

hajime who completely ignores your demands for him to stop getting you expensive gifts since you "can't match that, haji!", instead smirking and replying with, "that ass is my gift" and getting slapped.

wakasa who is often bored with most of the things around him, but finds himself perking up slightly when you approach him, a smile pulling at his lips as you slip to his side, where you fit so perfectly.

shinichiro who apologises when he has to decline dates to look after his siblings, but when you swing by things get much easier, and he can't imagine a future without you, laughing in his living room.

izana who was so used to discarding people, but then someone came into his life who pushed his hair behind his ear and rested her head on his shoulder, and he knew he could never get rid of you.

haruchiyo who is so unashamedly loud most of the time, but he quietens when it's just the two of you, your hands on his cheeks and gently brushing over the scars on his face, placing kisses on each on.

nahoya who is rarely seen without you by his side, both laughing madly at some game on your phones. souya who is so much kinder than everyone thinks, by your side with a snack every time you're sad.

hakkai who always makes you giggle by kissing your hand at every meeting, but he'll follow it up with a hug that's closer to a tackle, ending in both of you just laughing, probably too loudly.

rindou who would stop at very little to protect you, but he's always brought back to reality by your hand tugging at his wrist when he's gone too far. you're the only one who can pull an apology from him.

ran who is so used to a life of independence and supporting other people that he simply melts, lying in his room with his head in your lap, the safest he's ever been able to feel.

hinata who will outright refuse to take other people's shit, often leading to you having to drag her away from conflicts, laughing as she fights against your grip, scowling adorably.

emma who is so often called childish, but you allow to her bring out her true nature of playfulness instead of play-acting as an adult, your relationship one of hands joined, swinging in the space between you.

yuzuha who just needed someone to be there for her, but she's instead fallen so devastatingly in love, and she kisses you at the end of every date with desperate love, silently vowing to keep you safe.

senju who has a love language of spending time together, and could do anything at all with you, as long as it's with you. she doesn't care for your lectures about getting hurt, but she'll always listen.

tokyo revengers manga, happy ending day !! i'm fucking wrecked i'm not gonna lie but this manga has been a source of comfort for me for over eighteen months. i'm going to miss them sm sobs [and i'm sure i'll cry when i read it when i wake up]

© jazzisackerman 2022. all works and content are intellectual property of this blog. do not plagiarise or translate on tumblr or elsewhere.