#I am just so head full about them truly the characters ever

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Winter's King 26

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Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as noncon/dubcon, cheating, violence, and possible untagged elements. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: You are a maid to the Duke of Debray, a lord of the Summer Kingdom. That is, until the king of Winter appears with his particular air of coldness. (Medieval AU)

Characters: Geralt of Rivia

Note: Monday's are for pain.

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me.

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!) Please do not just put ‘more’. I will block you.

I love you all immensely. Take care. 💖

"More wine," Queen Jazlene demands. 

You stand at her shoulder, awaiting her every command. The familiarity of your duty feels safe though you cannot deny the peril all around. You move forward cautiously, sending a glance to king. 

King Geralt has not said or done much. He's hardly even touched his plate. For the first time that night, to your surprise as much as your relief, he looks at you. You pause, hand hovering before the ewer. 

"Another cup won't fare you well on the morrow," he girds. 

Jazlene huffs, "what else am I to do in this dull place but drink?" 

His lashes lower and he sits back. He props his elbow on the straight arm of the chair and gazes out at the boards full of bawdy voices and steps. He tilts his head as his pale sight skewers the chamber. 

"It is a banquet," he utters flatly. You remain close to Jazlene but retract your hand. 

"It is, husband, what do you propose?" She's breathy, almost hopeful. She peers out across the plucking of strings, "a dance?" 

"I know some steps," he extends his fingers, "suppose... there won't be much dancing on the road and Lord Vesemir did go to all this effort." 

"Truly? A dance?" She squals and grabs his forearm, "husband, is this not some cruel jape?" 

His jaw squares and he looks at her without humour, "only a suggestion. We are... married. The people should like to see king and queen together." 

You step back, as surprised as the daughter of Debray. The king himself hardly seems eager but he is ever aloof. You wonder if it is genuine. His refusal to look at you has you uncertain. Does he regret his missteps or are you once assuming too kindly of him? He has taught you those last few days to be skeptical. You are less than grateful for the lesson.  

"I would very much love to dance," Jazlene seizes his large hand and he winces, "thank you, thank you, thank you." She chants in excitement as she rises and the king steels himself as he does the same.  You're not so sure her glee is specific to her partner, but rather the act.

You can’t help but pity the queen. It’s clear she’s desperate for excitement. It would explain her flirtations and her tantrums and all her behaviour. Still, the isn’t the little girl flitting around her father’s castle anymore; she is the queen and her misdeeds will have consequences should she carry on. 

Your eyes drift out as a lull ripples over the chamber followed quickly by a tide of murmurs. The king and queen emerge from behind the royal table as curiosity thrums all around. The troupe continues to strum as Jazlene can hardly contain her elation despite the king’s stoic propriety. They begin the steps; hers jouncy, his flat and formal. She hardly notices her partner’s nonchalance. 

The other partners give breadth to the royal couple as others pause to watch. Whispers and cheers, some whistles encourage the king and queen. It is the first that any have seen the royal couple as one. 

You watch but hardly take in the scene. Your mind wanders to the chamber in the tower, then to the queen’s rooms; you hear only Geralt’s gritting frustration and the queen’s shrill defiance. They play their parts but you are not convinced. 

You peer around and your eyes catch on a shock of rusty orange. Gilles stands by the doors, amid as cluster of other guards. Where his fellow soldiers drink ale and grumble, he stares at the royal pair, bound by the sight of the queen on the king’s arm.  

You follow his gaze and meet King Geralt’s golden irises. His brow twitches and he quickly draws his attention back to his queen. You are confounded by him. You cannot figure if he truly has reconsidered his intent or he is merely hiding. He’s shown you before that he can feign whatever role suits his means; gallant king, pensive man, troubled soul. In the end, his only concern is his own will. 

Your chest rents deeper amidst your doom-laden thoughts. When did you grow so cynical? It’s these Hinterlands; their chill invades even the soul. Your lips tug down and you put your eyes to the stone wall. You need only see the night through. The road will keep all too busy for recklessness. 

As you stand there, you sense a shift, and turn to look over your shoulder. Lord Vesemir waves in your direction, bidding you to him with a pointed finger. You squint and peer back at the queen and king. You cannot disobey the host even if you are bound to a higher title. 

You sidle along behind the tables and stop behind the white-haired lord. He pushes his chair out, leaning into the straight wooden back. He looks up at you, cheeks ruddy with drink. 

“Little dove,” he grits, “how amusing, isn’t it, to see the king afoot on the boards.” 

“My lord,” you agree evenly. 

“I must say he never took so happily to the dance lessons as he did the sword,” Vesemir chuckles, “though he is graceful in both. My own feet do not listen to each other.” 

You bow your head, signaling your attention. You tilt your ear to him and stare at the table. 

“If any knew to watch for it, they would see he does prefer another partner,” the lord sighs, “alas, it would not be wise, as I’ve told him. A king cannot so quickly descend into folly. How many times did I say the same to his own father?” 

You lower your lashes.  

“I believe he has heeded my foreboding,” Vesemir reaches for his goblet and grunts as he finds it empty, tilting it to show his disappointment. You move forward to grab the jug of ale and pour him a new cup. He thanks you as he watches you. “And you. You had a restful night? You were provided the promised chamber? A bed?” 

“Yes, my lord, thank you,” you say, “it is rather much for a maid.” 

“We both know you are not any maid,” he pauses to gulp, “tell me, dove, do you find my halls too cold?” 

You set the jug down and step back on your heels. You fold your hands and consider his question as a riddle. You know not how to untangle the words of nobles so you will not try. 

“Cold, yes, but not intolerable, my lord,” you answer. 

“Hm, yes, but you may line your wool a bit thicker,” he reaches to pinch the cuff of your sleeve, “you would not shiver so much.” He rescinds his touch and looks into his cup, swirling the ale, “and your former castle, what was that like? Suppose the Duke of Debray is a rather busy lord, the way he scurries around like rat.” 

You hesitate. You cannot tell if he refers to Lord Dustan’s betrayal. 

“There’s always work for servants in a castle,” you say, “summer or winter. We were kept busy though not many ventured to Debray. It was always the lord that traveled.” 

“Mm, yes, you would not guess it but this vulture’s nest is rarely so lively as this. You’ve only seen it invaded by the king and his horde. When the winter is falling, it is so quiet. The snows drown out the noise below and the ice sparkles as diamonds...” he describes dreamily, “it is calm, peaceful. Not as life is at court. I prefer it. I was never one for that farce.” 

You look at him, listening intently. You think of the cave, of the moths, the desolation nestled within those icy walls. This place is beautiful despite its frosted bite. You might’ve seen clearer sooner were it not for the shroud cast on it by crowded halls. 

“It is safer here,” he continues, “and even as peace is declared, times will grow no less turbulent. Wars do not end so cleanly.” 

You furrow your brow and watch the lord, trying to unfold his words into their true meaning. He chuckles and empties his goblet once more. He sets it down and stands. 

“Perhaps this old man does ramble in his cups,” he shakes his head, “I thank you, dove, for your ear. Loyal as you are, gentle too. You could not know what spell you cast.” 

You retreat as Lord Vesemir angles his broad figure around his chair. He beckons as he turns and for a moment, you think he gestures at you. Instead, the maid, Ezme, appears from the shadows and meets him at the end of the table. He speaks to her as you back up against the wall. He walks with her from the hall as you stare after them. 

His words echo in your head.

What did he mean to say all he did? Another warning of what you already dread? A suggestion that you simply could never heed? Does he suggest escape even as he denotes your futility? Or does he simple speak for nothing more than his own voice? 

You look back to the king and queen. A new pitch picks up as the music swells with the stomping feet on the boards and the japes and jeers. Amid the revelry, the king remains as staunch as always, and once more, your eyes meet. 

Lord Vesemir is not mistaken. There is only turmoil ahead. 

⚔️

The night ends in a march along the corridors. You keep a distance from the king and queen as they walk ahead. Jazlene leans on her husband as she drunkenly babbles. Despite his discouragement, she kept to her wine. Ahead, Gilles walks with his hand on his sword. 

The guard opens the queen’s doors and the king escorts his wife through. You tarry in the archway as the ginger-headed man takes his post but cannot restrain from peeking within. Jazlene falls onto her mattress and sighs, giggling into a chattering shiver. 

“Oh, it is so cold,” she hugs herself, rubbing her arms. 

“You should not wear satin,” the king remands. 

“Rats to that!” She sneers and pushes herself up on her elbows, “I was plenty warm on the boards...” she looks at him coyly and grins, “with you, husband.” 

“And the wine in your belly does convince you of warmth,” he tuts. “I’ve known many men who drank themselves to death thinking it could cure the cold.” 

“Ugh, you are so dour,” she chides shrilly and sits up, reaching for him, “husband, we have a long road ahead. Will you not make use of our last night in the castle?” 

He huffs, “you are drunk and I must see Lord Vesemir about our travel-” 

“It is late. You might see to it in the morn,” she whines. 

He exhales again. He looks down at his boots and tilts his head to his side, but does not raises his eyes. He flicks his fingers in your direction, “close the door. I will see my wife abed.” 

Jazlene falls back and purrs. You can tell by the loll in her head that the wine will see her unconscious shortly. The king puts his hands to his hips and watches her as you back out and Gilles pulls shut the doors, not without undue force. 

“Go then, maid,” he snarls as he steps back against the wall. 

You obey. You are not certain whether to return to the chamber you shared with Ezme or to search out the servants’ quarters. You make no determination before you’re stopped the same slender shadow as the night previous. 

It is Ezme, as if she was summoned by the very thought of her. She is silent as she nods and turns to lead you onward. You follow without bidding. Your stomach churns as you already know she is not taking you to sleep. Something is amiss. 

You stop before a set of doors marked by iron vultures’ heads. She knocks and enters, letting you in after her. Within, Lord Vesemir sits before a fire, the glow flickering over him as he watches the flame. His shirt is untucked, his jacket disposed, and his hair hangs around his bullish face. 

“Dove, your wings cannot weather these winter winds,” he declares sonorously. 

You’re silent. Ezme closes the doors as you remain close to them. You peer around warily. She goes to the lord of the castle and he reaches to squeeze her hand. He brings it to his lips and kisses it. You blink as you stare at them. They are... 

“Please, sit down,” Vesemir insists, “I suppose we will be waiting some time for our king.” 

You don’t understand. Lord Vesemir and Ezme? A noble and a servant. Yet he warns King Geralt against the same with you. It is their manner, you suppose, to do what they would tell others not to. 

You don’t move. You crane to look at the doors then back to the maid and her master. It seems both Geralt and Vesemir agreed upon his attendance there that night but what place do you have there? You are not so brazen as to ask. 

You relent and come further into the chamber. You sit upon the wooden stool close to the wall as Ezme lights another lamp and sets it on the table. You wring your hands in your lap as you wait in silence. The lord lowers his head, patient as he closes his eyes. Or perhaps, fatigued as you are. 

Time sifts through the air like sand through a sieve. Slow and grinding. You stare at your skirts as the other maid drifts like a wraith and the lord sits as a statue. The longer you wait, the deeper the pit grows in your gut. You are owed no explanation but you long for one. 

Finally, there is a tap at the doors. Just the one. Hard but not violent. Ezme moves to open the door. You stand out of habit and a large shadow enters. It is the king. His golden eyes catch the lantern light as he sees the Lord sat before his hearth. 

“Vesemir, I have much to do before the sun.” 

“Aye, don’t I know,” the lord says calmly, “so you best listen and not waste time or breath.” 

The king angles his head, both curious and skeptical. You shift on your feet and the movement draws his attention. He winces as he sees you and his shoulders tense. He peers back at the lord in the light of the fire. He clears his throat. 

“Vesemir, what is your meaning here?” The king demands. 

[crazymecjc]

vashwood week day 1- doomed by the narrative in every universe :((

[throwaway-yandere]

And The Sun Is Silent (Yandere!Wriothesley/Reader)

Unreliable Synopsis: You, a former writer, received a fan letter. Truly a curious thing, for the contents appear more personal than what it should be.

A/n: I am not back. I posted this cuz first off, I adore Joe Zieja and all his works and I was so hyped when I saw he voiced Wriothesley and second, mfer gave me C4 qiqi. i love my daughter but cmon wrio, I literally got the same haircut as you do now-

CW: nothing really. Just a lil mind frick ig

“When I saw his hands wrapped around his dearest new spouse, cutting that vile wedding cake together, I wanted nothing more than to take that knife and slit his throat.”

(Y/n) was a serialized author in Fontaine whose works were primarily geared towards detective novels. However, their words were less laced with objectivity and “irrefutable facts” as the heavy pockets do when spinning their tales. Unfortunately, they weren’t meant to fill their coffers with hit-release masterpieces. (Y/n)– pen name “Maestro Justiniano” – was more engrossed in the perpetrators' psychology like the barkeeps and magicians do. They were the main characters– the sung hero of the tale. The glorified violence thrived in each passing page for the only mystery to be solved was “who will they target next?”

If young fans of other authors were seen as aspiring detectives or law enforcers, those who were known as fans of the Maestro were unjustifiably labeled as “future degenerates.” For (Y/n), it was funny. Overhearing grandparents waste their already fleeting energy to scold their grandchild’s love for their sinful work was their source of joy.

But (Y/n) (L/n) was not Maestro Justiano in public.

They were Duke Wriothesley’s spouse. Maestro Justiano is but a shade and (Y/n) is a human. The maestro does not feed on earth nor mora, but (Y/n) is obliged to. He bought his title, and he bought his spouse.

Gone was their free fourth finger. With a golden shackle, they sealed their fate to a wealthy man for table scraps. Perhaps it is fortunate that he is generous with his pockets, but to (Y/n), they would rather starve themselves writing than sit through another seminar about the nation’s ever-changing laws.

The Maestro’s life used to be so full of thrill; the “pelf” they received for each writing commission was a life worth their breaths. 

The Maestro’s life used to be coated in moonlight; sneaking out and running gigs was their bread and butter.

But now the sun is silent, and (Y/n) stands with a tail behind their legs. 

“(Y/n), do you need anything?”

Wriothesley asked even when he could guess the answer. Lazily, (Y/n) shifted from the covers, peering over with half-closed eyes.

“Nothing, Your Grace.” (Y/n) yawned. “Close the door.”

The Duke nods, understanding their fatigue. He silently shuts the door, and nothing of interest is to be noted afterward.

This has been their canned script every Wednesday to Friday without fail for the past 3 years. 

In (Y/n)’s eyes, Wriothesley is a mere animal with whom they mate for survival. Barely any true emotional trysts occurred in their first two years of marriage. They’re a “friend” of fortune. With him always away from home, (Y/n) is left with nothing but their thoughts. 

The nights were warm, but the mornings were cold. 

And the sun is silent.

Their husband has never been quite the same after an incident during their 2nd year of marriage. 

On the night they were attacked in the comfort of their shared home, a gear in his head was stolen.

Wriothesley held them, audibly more alarmed and broken than (Y/n)– the victim– was. He shook, afraid of what you must’ve gone through in his absence. Robbery, that’s what the records say. An armed man entered their home with the intent to steal. Black were his gloves and hair. The perpetrator thought they had been away on a business trip and pulled the trigger by surprise when they emerged from the kitchen. 

That thief had failed to steal material possessions, but their husband had lost his good of intellect. He cannot stand the notion of leaving them alone. What is a collector’s item if it’s not in great condition? Wriothesley has locked the gates and kept (Y/n) in, and he’ll continue to do so to preserve their value.

“I want to meet you somewhere someday, in a place where the sun is no longer silent. I want to crawl and bury myself under your skin where I can read through your mind. The house is too quiet. I want to trace your collarbones. I want to bite into your flesh, and I need you to look into my eyes as I tear myself apart. I am in love with you, (Y/n). It’s unbelievable, but it’s true. I live within these walls. I am what keeps you grounded with a golden ring. But why does the sun hide from me?”

Despite how much closer the couple are now, (Y/n) feels more distant than before. Not that they had the right to say "The duke was not the man I married" when they rarely talked— but it surely felt that way.

And in one Sunday night, the forcibly retired author used their words not to immerse readers, but to intimidate guards to grant entry to their "beloved" husband's office.

"You fucking bitch…"

"Lovely to see you too, honey."

"You made me lose my job!!!"

"Here I thought you refer to it as a side-line."

"Are you fucking for real right now?!" They screamed and slammed a fist down on the table. The pain hasn't hit them yet as their unbridled shock and rage hit overdrive. "Since when did you have the right to just take my–"

"Your hobbies away?" Wriothesley placed down his chamomile tea and shrugged. "Honey, I'm not doing anything like that. No, I'm only protecting you."

"Oh, great!" They waved a hand around dramatically before slapping it back to their thigh, rolling their eyes. "Let me guess, there's a biiiig explanation that fits into one giant puzzle."

"You know me too well for someone who never initiates conversation." He smiled mockingly. 

"You're right. Court Dense Publishing House is being investigated for numerous allegations. Toxic working environment, which included stalking and superiors leveraging pay for sexual favors might I add, and tax fraud. The details of the latter will bore you." Wriothesley continued.

He sighed. "Can't you tell? I'm just being a decent husband. What if you were being harassed and you were afraid to tell me?" 

"Like hell, I was–" They took a sharp deep breath in. "Listen. Let me get back to my work and we won't have any problems, Your Grace."

"No can do. You're an ex-Maestro now."

“And you're an ex-con.” They quickly retorted.

…

…

“... You're calling me an ex-con?" Wriothesley laughed dryly. The lone sound made them inch their heels slightly backward.

His eyelids lowered as his dull gray eyes peeked behind underneath his tilted glare.

They had never seen him this serious.

"Who do you think turned me into one?”

…

…

…

They blinked.

His words– though not making sense without context– carried a heavy weight they had unfortunately missed.

His gaze and words were accusingly pointed.

At them.

…

…

Wriothesley laughed.

"I'm kidding, of course. Don't be so tense."

(Y/n) didn't laugh.

He smiled. They can't tell if it was fake or not. He's been too good at pretending to be nice that they never knew when he genuinely dropped the act.

Like Maestro Justiniano, that argument is history now. 

And maybe that's why (Y/n) first thought it would be a comforting experience to read a story written by an avid fan.

It was a long manuscript. Sigewinne claimed it came from a fellow Melusine who wanted her favorite author's thoughts on how to write a criminal male lead. When asked for the writer's name, she refused to say it. (Y/n) respected it since they too posted anonymously…

But this reading sounds less like a professional job and more like a stalker's confession…

“When I first finished a book of yours in two sittings, I had formed a vague fantasy on how you looked like. You were a tall man, thin, long-necked, sharp-nosed, with a body slightly bent forward. Needless to say, I was stoked to find that description failed to perfectly describe who you were in person. I hope that with my new appearance, my description perfectly describes how your husband used to look as well. These black gloves just don’t fit me right.”

These black gloves…?

"Honey, I'm home!!! Oh, and Sigewinne's here too."

As soon as they heard the door open, (Y/n) shoved the fan's manuscript inside their drawer. Wriothesley hates seeing any semblance of creative writing inside the house.

"Can you brew two cups of tea for us?" Wriothesley asked as he removed his jacket, placing it recklessly on the sofa. "We're exhausted."

(Y/n) nodded. They never tell him how they make his tea. For a bottle weighing 8 fl oz, they'd take a rounded scoop of sunsettia powder to the pitcher and pour steamed 2% milk to whatever was the appropriate line. Once aerated for 3 seconds, they fill it with their macha mix with ¼’’ foam and ¾’’ more below the rim for the aesthetic. 

The process is not as difficult as it sounds, but they like withholding information. Why else won't friends and family know that they're a prolific writer, right?

"Sure. I'll be right back."

They left.

Their “husband” picked up the letter they hastily hid, a faint smile playing on his face.

Were you frightened after reading it? 

How did his favorite author react?

He wished he knew. But he’s no detective– he’s a present “degenerate”. He won’t find clues just by looking at the parchment. "Wriothesley" placed it back to where it was earlier and adjusted his black gloves to fit just right. 

“Wriothesley” glanced at Sigewinne with a giddy smile.

“So, do you think they liked my writing?”

"(P.S: I finally figured out how you make your coffee. It's 3 pumps of Fonta, 1 shot of espresso roast, chilled milk, and stirred with ice. This unique combination would've perplexed me if I didn't find out you made it out of spite. 

But it does taste good. I promise. After all, in the cold solitude of your sunless prison, I'll be the one brewing you coffee. May each sip be a reminder of my affection. The sun may be silent too in the Fortress, but maybe in there, you'll finally appreciate my warmth.")

[oliver-quick-ens-my-pulse]

Room of Requirements

Ominis Gaunt x f!Reader

Summary - Anon request for "I’d love to request a fluffy (smutty if you want) Ominis x reader where reader shows him their room of requirement and the two enjoy some time tending to beasts and the calmness away from the usual bustle of the castle! Mainly I offer up potential smut because the first time I heard the room of requirement described as “a place away from prying eyes” my mind tan with that idea"

Word Count - 1,492

Warnings - 18+ light petting, lots of fluff from softie Ominis

A/N - Characters aged up! This didn't go full smut, but I think could easily have a more smut version at some point.

Since it was your 7th year at Hogwarts, you knew you had to start figuring out what to do with all the animals you had in the vivarium. You knew the life you wanted involved having lots of outdoor space for them to be truly free and safe in, but you may have to find out how to make a vivarium elsewhere.

There wasn't anyone you had considered telling your secret to besides Ominis. You weren't really sure how to tell even him, 'hey by the way, do you want to help me rehome the dozens of mythical beasts I've been hiding inside of the castle?'

It made you laugh a bit to even think about it, but you needed some help brainstorming so it seemed like now the time had come. Luckily you were able to catch him coming out of the common room.

"Ominis!" It made you feel flushed seeing how his face lit up just from hearing you call for him. You bounded up the small staircase to the entrance and looped your arm with his.

"Were you busy? I have an adventure to take you on."

He shook his head, "No, but even if I did have plans would it matter?"

He knew you were beaming up at him, though he couldn't see it. He imagined would it would look like.

"No." You both said in unison.

You briskly led him through the groups of huddled students, to the hallway you knew was often empty.

You stopped him in front of the door to the room of requirements and his eyebrows knitted together. He looked down at you puzzled.

"Y/N? Have you lost your mind? First off, I'm impressed you didn't drag me straight off of the castle grounds. Second, I've been here hundreds of times and there's nothing of interest in this hall."

You grabbed his hand and walked him over to the cavity in the wall which held the most fantastic room you'd found in your time here.

"Well, my dear Ominis, I have news. Right before your unseeing eyes, were I am about to lead us into the room of requirements. You have heard of it, yes?"

You pulled him forward as you pushed the large door open, hurrying him in to shut the door behind you to disappear.

"What!" He pulled out his wand and used it as a means to take in everything that he didn't even know existed before.

He knew you weren't lying to him because the room even smelled different the second you crossed into the threshold. It bared your favorite scent which contrasted the dusty Hogwarts halls.

"Are you kidding me? If I had never known of the Undercroft I wouldn't have ever found it either." He slumped over, clearly pouting.

You placed your hands on either of his shoulders, laughing gently at him, "Ominis this room only shows up if you're in need of it. And well, no offence, but you truly wouldn't have been able to see it even if it presented itself to you."

He sighed. "Well, what is it you needed it for?" His foggy eyes bore right through you before his lips curled up into a sly smile.

He hadn't awareness of much of the room, but he was able to force you backwards until you were pressed against wall, looking up at him curiously.

He raised a hand to to your cheek, the other resting on your hip, "Unless you needed it for us?"

You hadn't even gotten the chance to process his words before his soft lips pressed to yours. It honestly felt like a dream.

You allowed your fingers to snake up the back of his neck to lightly tug on his hair. When he moaned softly against your mouth it sent a ball of fire straight to your stomach.

"Ominis-I-," you gasped between breaths attempting to at least let him know that wasn't why you brought him here, but you were definitely interested.

It just proved to egg him on further as he tugged your body flush to his using one of your belt loops. He released your lips to lean closer to your ear and whisper, "Is there anything in here special for us now?"

You shifted enough to peer behind him and suddenly felt completely embarrassed to see a curtained bed that had made it's appearance in a far corner.

"Ah-Ominis. Th-there is, but I -"

"Then show me to it." You definitely knew the 2 of you had a lot to do and talk about. It was hard to ignore the seduction in his voice, but you knew he would forgive you for what you were about to do.

You remained quiet as you drug him along. As he took cautious steps forward, a much different vision playing out in his head, he stepped right into one of the first floor vivariums with you.

Immediate confusion was on his face as the scents shifted to ocean breeze and he felt it too. It was lightly blowing over his face.

"Y/N?" He stuttered your name out before continuing, his cracking tone betraying him, "I don't quite understand. I -" He dropped his head to the the ground as if he could see. He could now hear the quietest little squeaking noises that he recognized to be a Puffskein.

A Puffskein had rolled into the toe of his shoes. "Y/N, why on earth is there a Puffskein at my feet. What is going on?"

You let go of his hand, to cover your own face, muffling your laughter. Ominis looked fairly embarrassed given his initial assumptions about why you were here and the kind-of-sort-of silent confession he gave away as a result.

"So, Ominis," you picked up the Puffskein and held it near to his palm so he could feel the creatures fur, "I-um- I'm definitely interested in the reason you thought we were here. I think we should pursue that later. However, I wanted to show you my secret vivarium."

You could see him processing all of what you just said, considering whether he should use a memory charm on you or not to make you forget he was about to rip your clothes off just a few moments prior.

He lowered his fingertips to ruffle up the Puffskein's fur and he couldn't keep the smile off his face. It was quickly replaced with confusion, "So wait. You're telling me for, for three years you've just been hiding an entire vivarium of animals in here? In Hogwarts?"

You stepped closer to him, looking up at his glassy eyes when you answered, "What if I told you there were four vivariums?" Your voice came out in a whisper as you finished your sentence.

He raised his hands in astonishment, he always gestured frequently when feeling strong emotions, "Four?! Are you mad? What on earth are you planning on doing with them at the end of the year?"

You saw him flinch pleasingly when you moved your lips near his ear, " I was hoping you could help me figure it out."

He immediately shook his head at you in absolutely disbelief. "Y/N you are full of trouble, d'you know that?"

"Well, if I am to help then I suppose you have to introduce me to everyone?" He sighed in defeat, pretending to be horribly inconvenience, but you knew he loved when you dragged him into your more innocent schemes.

As you grabbed his hand to show him over to the Thestrals, he muttered so you could barely hear it, "And introduce me to more of yourself later too?"

Ignoring the latter part of what was said, you guide him to the Thestral's habitat to show him the animal you were most pleased to have; the most misunderstood of all of them.

"Okay, Ominis, this is my momma thestral, Flora." The creature huffed as he reached his hand towards it to allow a chance to sniff. She quickly nuzzled her leathery forehead against his hand and you could see him light up.

"Are you kidding? This is incredible." He got more comfortable with her and you placed snacks in his palm for him to feed her.

"I love coming here. It's so quiet and calm, it's my own nature getaway within the castle. The best part is nobody can find me here."

He listens to you as you tell him about all of the animals you've had come and go, all the things you've learned that were completely wrong from the textbooks you had all seen.

The 2 of you decided to make it a date to come back at least once a week until you both leave for good, where you'll craft some kind of plan together. He agreed to keep your secret safe as long you as you got to come back to find out what the other mysteriously appearing items in the room of requirement were.

[hisui-dreamer]

Holii <3 If it's not too much trouble, I wanted to ask for relationship headcanons for vile, rook, leona and azul discovering that their mc fem is actually a real angel (you know, with wings, ethereal, believer in god, etc) but at first It didn't seem like it since mc is usually stubborn and very naughty, quite the opposite of what you would expect from an angel hehe thanks and take care <3 ^^

wings of pure white but a devilish smile

Characters: Vil, Rook, Leona, Azul

Synopsis: Where you're an actual angel in all senses but your personality, and you decide to tell your lover the truth. Would he believe you?

Tags: fem reader, bot proofread

Word count: 1.3k

Notes: Thanks for asking, this was very fun to think about! Everyone's part is gender neutral except Rook because I have no idea how to write gender neutral French with my very beginner levels oopsie

Part 2 ✧ Masterlist

Vil loves you, he really does

only sometimes you get on his nerves with how mischievous you are

still, as long as you don’t push his buttons too much, you’re good

so when you tell him you’re an angel, he just raises an elegant eyebrow

"Come on, darling, you can't be serious. If anything, I’d imagine you to be a devil, not an angel," he says teasingly

try to convince him, and he’ll just think you’re toying with him

you explain that, duh, of course not angels are ‘angelic’

you’re living beings(?) too, how would you expect everyone to act the same?

still a bit sceptical, but he can't deny the sincerity in your eyes

he gives you the benefit of the doubt and listens attentively as you explain how you guide souls to heaven

okay you seem very serious about it now

is only going to be fully convinced when you show him your wings

he loves how soft they are and definitely helps you with wing care, helping you with magical dust baths, preening your feathers, etc.

he won’t show it too much, but he’s so happy his lover is such a beautiful creature, you make him feel acknowledged for his hard work

Vil shakes his head in disbelief. "But you're so stubborn and mischievous, and you don't act like an angel at all." Crossing his arms, he hums in thought, "Truly, I’m more inclined to believe Neige would be an angel than you."

He huffs arrogantly, "Why, of course my lover is an angel. You’re the only one who’s beautiful enough to stand beside me as equals!"

 He smiles at you and pulls you close, holding you tightly. "I don't care if you’re an angel, a devil, or any other creature," he murmurs, his eyes full of love. "I love you for who you are, not what you are," he says, then gently pecks your forehead.

Rook adores you

he is so captivated by you, and he greatly enjoys how your stubborn and mischievous always pushed him to his limits

in truth, he already thinks you’re an angel

"Ma chérie, you are more beautiful than any angel I have ever seen," he says, taking your hand in his and kissing it

when you tell him that, no, you’re an actual angel, he’s a bit taken aback, but he’s mostly in awe that something so great is right in front of him

once the shock passes, he’s beaming with admiration though

he spews compliment after compliment in a slur of French, looking very excited at the new revelation

if you tell him to calm down, he’ll slow down the string of compliments, but it’s clear that he’s buzzing with energy

as you explain to him what it is that you do, he’ll appreciate you even more

he’s so enamoured with your wings!!! they’re soft and white just like doves

definitely helps you with wing care, using his keen eye as a hunter, he’ll help you clean and repair any damaged feathers

Rook's eyes widen in awe. " Un ange?" he repeats, almost incredulously. " C'est incroyable, ma douce !" He reaches for your hands and holds them in his, "Mon ange, je le savais dès que je vous ai vu! Je suis vraiment honoré et choyé d'être en votre présence !"

Translation: "An angel? That’s incredible, my sweet! My angel, I knew it as soon as I saw you! I am truly honoured and blessed to be in your presence!"

"Oh, la femme de mon coeur, you have such a marvellous duty! Truly, your kindness shines through beautifully! Caring for wayward souls and leading them to their destination, c'est très magnifique! "

Translation: "Oh, the lady of my heart... how very magnificent !"

Rook can't help but smile. "You're amazing," he says. "I've always been drawn to you because of your beauty, but now I see that there's so much more to you than that. You're an angel, mon amour, and I'm in awe of you. No matter what you are, or where you come from, you'll always be beautiful and enchanting to me." he says, his voice filled with sincerity.

Leona sees you as someone who is stubborn, mischievous, and always up for a challenge

he enjoys your company and all the chaos that follows with you, and admires your strong will, but he finds you unpredictable and sometimes frustrating

teasing you and pushing your buttons is like his favourite pastime

he really cares about you and it shows in his protectiveness

but when you tell him you’re an angel, he just looks at you like "Herbivore, the hell are ya yappin' on about?", a look of pure vexation on his face

are you seriously interrupting his nap with this nonsense???

oh wait, you’re actually serious

sits up and prompts you to start explaining yourself

doesn’t completely believe you until you show him your wings

he’ll start putting pieces together in his mind and he asks you some very thoughtful questions, like how angels are born, how the whole system works, etc.

he has some newfound respect for you now

it must be difficult having to be the one to tell souls their life has ended

not to mention seeing all sorts of tragedies

will help you with wing care and he's surprisingly gentle, but may also tease you to take care of him too

Leona snorts in disbelief, "You're kidding, right? Aren’t you the one who’s always causin’ trouble? That's the complete opposite of what I would expect from an angel."

His mind is racing with questions as he studies your wings. "Are you pullin' my leg right now?" he finally manages to say, his voice tinged with annoyance, but you can definitely hear his awe. "You're tellin' me that you're actually a real angel? Why didn't you tell me sooner? I mean, you're nothing like what I expected an angel to be," he smirks.

"Well, I'll be damned," he mutters, shaking his head in disbelief. "I never would've guessed in a million years. Heh, you're full of surprises, herbivore," he says as his hands ruffle your hair. " I may not believe in all that divine stuff, but I'll admit, seeing your wings is pretty cool."

Azul sees you as someone who is loving and devoted to him, but also stubborn and mischievous

he's used to dealing with mischief with floyd and he much prefers you given you have logic and reasoning most of the time

but our businessman is rather science brained, so he's not that inclined to believe you if you just tell him

especially given your behaviour

while you're his Angelfish, he wouldn't expect you to be an actual angel

he leans back in his chair and regards you thoughtfully, "My dear, while you are my Angelfish, I didn't expect it in a literal sense... Well, you certainly have the mischievousness of a devil, but I suppose it's not impossible that you could be an angel. Show me then, if you wish."

when he sees your wings, he'll be blushing so hard, in awe of how beautiful you are

may have a thought or two about capitalising on your feathers

but he wouldn't, this greedy octopus is gonna keep you all to himself

would definitely research wing care meticulously and find innovative and cost effective methods to make things more convenient for you

"Are those...are those real?" Azul stutters, still in disbelief. You nod, extending your wing toward him. He walks towards you slowly, his eyes fixed on your majestic wings. Reaching out hesitantly, he runs his fingers over the feathers, feeling the softness and delicacy of each one. "They're beautiful," Azul whispers, awestruck.

Azul can’t help but chuckle. "I suppose I have no choice but to believe you now. You truly are a wonder, my dear Angelfish."

Azul hugs you tightly. "I'm so lucky to have you. I don't care if you're an angel or not. You're still the same mischievous and stubborn girl that I fell in love with, as long as you’ll have me."

Part 2 ✧ Masterlist

if you liked this post, don't forget to reblog!

[rosehiroto]

Patessiere luxiem(+sonny and alban) x gn reader pls

The hanging out at the back while making sweets 🍮

Hello anon! Thank you for the extremely adorable request! I'm so sorry for taking so much time to do this, I hope you enjoy reading it♡.

WARNING: Please remember that I am writing about vtubers based on their characters online and not of the people behind their vtuber avatars, thank you!

Fandom: nijisanji luxiem, noctyx.

Pairing: luxiem + Sonny, Alban x Mc

Category: fluff, men being absolutely wholesome

Love sweeter than cake

Luca Kanashiro

• Luca met Mc during their interview as he owned the shop, it was family business passed down from generation to generation.

• Luca took a liking to them since meeting them on their first day and hired them right away, he'll check up on Mc for the first couple of day to make sure everything is okay and no one is annoying them.

• Definitely loves sneaking in a few of Mc's pastries when no one is looking.

• Luca gets absolutely overjoyed when Mc notices, and brings some pastries to him after work with a cup of tea in the staff room so he can enjoy them.

• Won't allow them to be on work if they're sick or tired, or will have them on cashier duty if they insist on working.

• Gets the courage to ask them out with a small cupcake 'go out with me?' written on it in with yellow frosting.

• Dates with him consist of drinking milk tea while eating pastries at the park after work.

☀︎︎

The sky was baby blue, as clear as ever, with small white fluffy clouds moving through it, it was truly a beautiful day, the best for for a picnic.

Mc was walking hand in hand with Luca towards the park, basket in hand as Luca swung their hands back and forth together, another basket in his hand, as he chuckling slightly at something Mc was telling him about their day.

"It's such a pog day! You pick out the best days" Luca hummed happily enjoying the sun that was warming up his face, Mc chuckled softly and kissed the back of Luca's hand at the compliment.

"Oh you know, it's nothing amazing really, the sun just was nice to us today, now that seems like a nice spot right?" Mc mumbles as they walk towards an empty spot in the park, the grass crunching under their shoes as they walk hand in hand.

"That looks like a good spot" the male aggred setting down the basket in his hand and stretching his arms over his head with a small yawn, Mc taking out the blanket from inside their basket and placing it on the ground, patting Luca's back gently as they sit down the male quickly sitting next to them and laying down to rest his head on their lap grinning widely up at them.

"Well, hi there little lion" Mc chuckled softly pressing a gentle peck to Luca's mouth moving to grab some of the food inside the basket.

"All this sun got me all sleepy now" Luca pouted softly yawning once more, opening his mouth once Mc held a small cookie towards his lips, humming gently at the taste.

"Well, you did sleep late last night" Mc took a bite out of loaf of bread filled with cheese, as Luca whined a bit and moved to lay on his side grabbing a sandwich and starting to eat.

"How can a sandwich taste so good" the male sighed happily munching on the sandwich, Mc patting his head gently, pushing his hair away from his face as they grab a croissant luca made and started eating it.

"Because it's full of love" Mc chuckled softly, Luca staring up at them with a wide grin, taking a big bite out of the sandwich and kicking his feet up in the air.

"Your love tastes very pog" Luca hummed once more, taking hold of Mc's hand and kissing their fingers gently.

The two love birds continued to eat their food together enjoying the nice weather, hearts full of love.

--------------------------------------------------

Shu Yamino

• First time Shu met Mc was on his first day at work, he had just started working at the shop and they were the one showing him around and telling him about his shifts.

• Was absolutely amazed by how nice they were, and will preferably hang out with them on breaks.

• Loves sharing whatever he's eating with mc whether it's something he made, noddles, or simply just something he's drinking, bought Mc a penguin keychain that reminded him of them.

• Will definitely take over Mc's shifts whenever they're tired or sick, might excuse himself from work too to take them home or take care of them if needed.

• Insisted once on taking Mc to his favourite ramen restaurant, and paid for everything they ate, now he takes Mc there on a regular basis, on lunch break too sometimes.

• Asked Mc out after he walked them home from the ramen restaurant, while Mc was opening their door and saying goodbye, he suddenly took hold of their hand and asked them to go out with him in a mess of jumbled words, face extremely red and hands trembling slightly from nervousness.

• He takes Mc out to eat, or go to the arcade and try to beat each other while giggling like kids together.

☀︎︎

Shu was walking next to Mc, pulling his beanie down to cover his head better, his breaths appearing in small puffs in the air, the sky snowing gently.

Mc pulled on Shu's elbow gently, lowering his hands to pull the beanie properly on his head, holding his cold cheeks gently and pinching them gently.

Shu gave Mc a big grin, kissing their palm gently before moving to hold their hand and starting to walk towards their favorite restaurant.

"I'm so hungry" the male whined slightly pushing his hand that was linked with Mc's into his pocket, feeling giddy all of a sudden.

"Me too, I'm definitely gonna order the big bowl of ramen" Mc hummed gently, already tasting the very delicious ramen, shu humming in agreement.

They entered the small restaurant after a few minutes of walking, sitting quickly at their usual table, relaxing immediately at the warm atmosphere of the place, as the chef passes a smile their way and takes their orders.

Shu starting eating immediately when his food arrived, almost burning his tongue with the hot ramen, Mc snickering at him and pinching his palm that was resting on the table the male pouting softly.

"Let's go to my house after this and bake cookies, it's too cold to stay home alone" the male pouted, Mc humming gently while eating their food, it was truly too cold to stay alone and making cookies did sound extremely fun.

"Sure babe, but you better not get my clothes dirty with flour, or so God help me because I will kill you" Mc huffed, Shu giggling and wiggling his eyebrows, making a thoughtful face, nodding his head with a chuckle when Mc raised their eyebrow at him.

"I'll have you know I'm an absolute gentlemen, since every single time I clean your clothes and let you borrow my amazing and more comfortable clothes" Shu tsked pinching Mc's cheek, and stealing half of their egg from their ramen bowl, laughing when Mc pouted at him, giving them his egg to make amends while chuckling.

--------------------------------------------------

Shu and Mc continued to eat their warm meals, their bodies warm and their hearts full, going to Shu's house after dinner and throwing flour at each other, cuddling together after, dirty clothes ordeal forgotten as they warmed each other up full of sweet cookies and love.

Ike Eveland

• Mc and Ike were childhood best friends who lost touch when Ike moved to another city, they met again when Ike once passed by the shop Mc worked at to eat something sweet.

• Both were absolutely overjoyed to see each other again, he waited for Mc until they finished work to walk together and eat out while catching up.

• Since then he visits the shop all the time, working or writing in the great atmosphere of the shop, and walks Mc home after they finish work.

• Will stay home with Mc whenever their sick and take care of them, makes them some food and sweets to help them feel better.

• Takes Mc to their favourite park when they were kids to hang out, enjoy the weather and eat ice cream together while reminiscing about the good past.

• Exchanging books together with Mc was something they did since they were children, so once he slipped a note saying 'would me make me the happiest guy on earth and go out with me?' inside the book and exchanged books with Mc as usual, Mc reads the book and calls him upon finding the note and he simply answers with a soft chuckle and says 'so what do you say? Let me take you out to our favourite restaurant?'.

• Going on dates with Ike was so normal, as they always went out together, so their dates are at home where they watch a movie while eating sweets together or simply being in each other's presence.

☀︎︎

The sound of the doorbell ringing grabbed Ike's attention, the male quickly placing his book down on the coffee table and getting up to open the door.

The sight of Mc mc standing outside brought a wide smile to his lips as he ushered them inside, the same smile on Mc's lips as they got inside a few books in hand as they took their shoes off.

Ike took the books from Mc, placing a gentle kiss to their forehead and walking towards the coffee table to place the books down, Mc walking after him and taking a seat on the couch Ike sitting next to them quickly.

The two started a simple conversation, talking about their day, Ike getting up halfway through to make them tea, Mc trailing behind him like a puppy, talking about their day at work, both of them cuddling after and drinking tea together.

"So, what do you think of the book älskling?" The male asked as he took the book from the coffee table handing it to Mc and curling into their side to watch as they open to the marked pages they liked.

"It was so nice! It's a nice change of pace from the romance one, this one focuses on family and siblings and I really like it, definitely made me cry, you can feel the emotions of the characters through their words and body language and that shows how good the writer is" Mc explained showing him their favorite pages, Ike's lips pursed slightly before turning into a wide grin as he took the book from Mc's hand showing them his favorite pages.

"What about you? Did you like the book I gave you?" Mc asks resting their head against his shoulder as he opens the book Mc gave him trailing his fingers across the cover gently.

"Definitely, I usually don't read horror books, but this one is definitely good, I love how it's a mix of horror and fantasy, it definitely gives a lot of fan service while also keeping you on your toes" Ike rambled opening a few marked pages to show mc, telling them of his favorite character as they discuss their books of the week.

"I wanna read something more exciting this time ikey, fantasy or thriller will definitely be great" Mc explains, when Ike passes them a book from the coffee table, Mc opening it and checking the first page humming in satisfaction before grabbing a book from the table and passing it to him.

"Thank you älskling, fairy tail huh? Looks rather exciting" the male hummed happily flipping through a few pages, kissing Mc's forehead gently taking the book in their hand and placing both books on the coffee table.

"What movie shall we watch today? I'm feeling like watching something funny, what about you?" Ike asked, grabbing the remote from the arm of the couch and turning the TV on, flipping through the movie list to pick one, Mc hums gently against his shoulder, Ike deciding on a movie, grabbing a blanket from next to him on the couch and covering both him and Mc with it as they both watch the movie together, cuddling close.

--------------------------------------------------

Mysta Rias

• Mysta met Mc when they started working at the shop, he was a regular and noticed when a new employee was at the cashier taking his orders.

• Doesn't really react much at first, as it wasn't really any of his business who worked at the shop, but he'll start to enjoy Mc's presence slowly.

• He insists on only eating whatever Mc made after getting closer to them, as it 'doesn't even compare to anyone else's even if he did eat it before', he'll start to visit even more and now knows Mc's working hours and visits then to enjoy their baking.

• Will be slightly upset and worried when he goes to the shop and doesn't find mc at the cashier, will call them to check up on them after getting their number from another employee who was their friend, buys Mc some stuff and goes to visit them after getting premission from them and their address to spend some time with them.

• He doesn't go out to many places, so he prefers to hang out with Mc at the shop after they finish work.

• He gave Mc a note while he was paying for the pastries he bought, which had his confession, and left the shop in a hurry, Mc passes him the note the next day with a 'yes♡' written on it at the bottom under his confession.

• He takes Mc out to an ice cream place, and they just walk around town while eating ice cream and enjoying their time together.

☀︎︎

Mc sighs in relief stretching their hand, their shoulders cracking as the walk out of the staff room already out of their work clothes, Mysta who was practically bored out of his mind, perked up at the sight of Mc.

The male got up to slump himself over Mc with a small whine, Mc patting his back gently and pressing a kiss to his temple.

"Ready to go baby?" Mc asked gently waving goodbye to their coworker as Mysta grabbed his bag from his table waving towards the worker at the cashier and linking his arm with Mc's with a small hum.

"So what does my sweet darling wanna do? Should we just go home or wanna go out somewhere?" Mc hums out, already thinking of a couple of places they can go, before deciding that home was a better idea when they noticed mysta's expression.

His lips were formed into a pout, eyes blinking slowly which definitely told Mc he was sleepy, his movement slightly sluggish as he was practically slumped forward.

"Home sounds like the better solution right now, as much as I love going out, you look absolutely exhausted baby" Mc mumbled gently patting Mysta's cheek gently the male leaning against their touch.

The male hummed gently in agreement, a small 'thank you' leaving his lips as he and Mc walk home, slowly with his sluggish pace.

Mysta draped himself over Mc's couch the moment they arrive home, eyes shut as he breaths deeply nuzzling against the soft pillows, Mc chuckling softly at him and covering him with a blanket that was on the couch already, kissing his head and moving towards the kitchen.

About two hours later, Mysta is woken up by Mc gently kissing his forehead to wake him up, plates of food in hand as they brush his hair away from his face gently.

"Get up honey, I made you some food, eat and then we sleep together yeah?" Mc hums gently Mysta getting up with a small yawn, hand shaky when he tries to take the spoon from Mc's hand, who shushs him gently and moves the spoon away from his hand and started to feed him slowly.

Mysta hummed gently after he finished his food, leaning against Mc's shoulder as they walk towards the bedroom to sleep, the male falling onto the bed and nuzzling up to the comfortable pillows shivering slightly at the cold sheets.

Mc joins him after changing clothes quickly, pulling the warm blanket over them as Mysta nuzzles into their warm embrace, mc and Mysta fall asleep in each other's arms happily, sharing their warmth that lulls them gently to sleep.

--------------------------------------------------

Vox Akuma

• Vox met Mc for the first time when they came into the shop to buy some pastries, the male as usual a bit of a flirt made some flirtatious comments here and there, Mc giving him a small smile and leaving after taking their order.

• He's absolutely smitten, talks all about it to his coworker shu, who tries to support him somehow, 'Mc is just so UGH' he said slamming his forehead into the wall.

• Loves it whenever Mc visits and will be extremely attentive, even paying for whatever they want, will be so happy when they sit at one of the tables inside the shop and start working on something, he'll check on them every once in a while to make sure they don't need anything.

• Will be very worried when Mc doesn't come at their usual time and comes a few hours later with a red nose and watery eyes as they sneeze, will take Mc to the back and scold them gently giving them some of the medication he had in case he got a tummy ache or felt sick, and will wait until the end of his shift which was in a few minutes, then walks Mc home, will call them for the next couple of days to check up on them until they're fine and healthy.

• He takes Mc to his house to hang out while he bakes sweets, and makes Mc try them, makes a mess of the kitchen when Mc insisted on helping, they'll both be covered in flour by the end of it.

• confessed when Mc was at his house while making sweets together, asks Mc while busying himself in kneading the dough, thankfully he didn't get to see Mc's wide eyed expression as their face slowly turns scarlet red, or Mc would've never heard the end of it.

• He takes Mc out on night or early morning strolls, loves to take them to the park or just chill at his house anywhere is fine as long as they're there.

☀︎︎

" 's too early to go out" Mc mumbles sleepily against vox's chest, said male helping them dress with a gentle coo as he smiles down gently on them, hair pulled back into a ponytail as he wraps his arms around Mc.

"I know baby, I promise you'll love it when you see the sunrise, you don't have to do anything the park is just down the street" the male promises pressing a gentle kiss to their forehead, as he grabs a bag he set on the bed and taking hold of Mc's hand gently pulling them towards the door, it was very early in the morning and Vox thought of how great it would be to watch the sunrise then and there.

Mc whines gently for a bit more before giving up and following vox, who ties their shoes for them with a grin, walking towards the park at the end of the street after.

Vox pulls out two blankets from the bag on his shoulder, placing one on the ground and covering Mc with the other when they sit down, sitting down next to them and pulling the blanket over his shoulders.

Mc nuzzles against Vox's shoulder with a small yawn watching as the dark sky started to turn blue, the sun starting to appear more and more with the passer of time.

Mc breathed deeply as half of the sun rose, the world basking in it's gentle eternal light, Vox's grin growing wider as he wrapped his arm around Mc's shoulder gently.

"It's so pretty isn't it?" Vox hummed gently Mc looking up to watch him looking at them with soft eyes and wide smile.

"Yeah, the sun looks absolutely breathtaking" Mc hummed back, Smile growing on their lips as Vox's grows wider, snickering for a sec before kissing Mc's head.

"As beautiful as the sun is, it'll never look prettier than you under it's glow" the male sighed gently, chuckling when Mc flushed nuzzling against his shoulder knowing how extremely cheesy he sounds.

Vox sighs happily resting his head on top of Mc's, watching the sun rise happily with his own sun by his side.

--------------------------------------------------

Sonny brisko

• Sonny met Mc when he bumped into them while they were opening up the shop, the male in a hurry to get to work apologizing quickly and going on his way, he visits the shop again after his work, and apologizes to Mc once more while ordering some cupcakes with a sheepish smile.

• Feels kinda guilty for bumping into Mc in his hurry and tries to make it up to them with visiting the shop from time to time and buying pastries from the shop for himself and his coworkers sometimes.

• Definitely notices if Mc is the one who made the pastries or someone else, and will compliment it every single time, definitely teases Mc about how red they get.

• Will be slightly surprised when he enters the shop and didn't find Mc at the cashier, will call Mc on his way home after buying some stuff and check up on them, will insist on visiting them the day after and that he'll buy them anything they need.

• Sonny at first didn't really take Mc anywhere as he wasn't that close to them, but with time he started to wait for them and walk home with them, sending them pictures in work with his coworkers, or simply hanging out with them in the park.

• While he and Mc were walking home once, someone randomly ran into Mc making them fall on the ground, Sonny helped Mc and took care of the man who turned out to be a robber, after the incident he visited Mc to check if they were okay and confessed in his panic and worry for their well being, face turns extremely red after.

• Sonny likes to take Mc out to eat, or do domestic things together, go shopping, buy groceries, or go to the fair and play around.

☀︎︎

Sonny yawned gently stretching his arms while getting up from bed, running his fingers through his messy hair with a huff.

The smell of cooking made Sonny hum gently as he walked towards the kitchen lazily, his lips lifting slightly at the form of Mc pulling out batch of fresh cupcakes out of the oven, a smaller pan sizzling with the cooking of an omelette on it.

Sonny hugged Mc from the back making them jump slightly, as he nuzzles into the shoulder mumbling a soft 'good morning', Mc melting against his embrace with a soft chuckle ruffling his hair.

"Morning sonny boy, how are you feeling" Mc kissed the man's forehead gently placing the omelette into a plate while waiting for the cupcakes to cool down.

"Good, hungry too" Sonny sighed gently and nuzzling more against Mc who ushered him gently towards the dining table to sit down, placing breakfast Infront of him with a gentle hum.

Sonny started eating as soon as Mc sat down on their chair next to him, taking a sip of the coffee Mc made for him.

"Where shall we go today? We both have the day off, we should use that chance and go out somewhere" Mc asked eating a strawberry from the plate full of fruits, Sonny hummed in thought eating a bite of his sandwich, he was feeling rather lazy today, and going to bed again after breakfast sounded like a very good plan.

"We should stay home, and nap I'm still really sleepy" Sonny hummed, stretching his hands over his head with another yawn, Mc ruffling his hair gently with a soft chuckle.

"Sleep does sound like a good plan" Mc aggred starting to gather the empty plates sonny taking them from Mc's hand and placing them in the sink, and starting to wash them, Mc drying the plates.

Sonny was in bed again after half an hour nuzzling against the pillows, Mc next to them as they watched animal videos chuckling every once in a while.

And to the soft sound of Mc's chuckles, Sonny falls into peaceful deep slumber, happy and content.

--------------------------------------------------

Alban Knox

• Alban met Mc on their first day of work, they were a new employee on their first day of work, the male deciding to help them around as there weren't alot of people working on the shop.

• He thought Mc was extremely nice, and loved how shy they were around everyone, he also admired how diligent they were while working and how much of a fast learner they were.

• Makes Mc cookies all the time, and treats them to his special pastries when they come over and play rhythm games together, loves eating Mc's cooking especially it makes him feel extremely happy and warm.

• Noticed how was Mc was starting to show sickness from the day before, and excused them from work, will visit them after work and will makes soup for them and spend some time with them watching a movie hoping to make them feel better.

• Mostly hangs out with Mc at his house or shopping together, doesn't like eating out much since Mc makes lunch for them anyways, they also hang out in the staff room during break and eat snacks.

• Once they were watching a movie at Alban's house, the movie was extremely sad with the two main love interests dying, after the movie Alban turned to Mc with teary eyes and confessed and hugged Mc after they said yes.

• Likes to take mc out to extremely random places he saw online, doesn't have any sort of routine at all, just as long as Mc's with him he's fine with it.

☀︎︎

Alban held Mc's hand gently leading them through a grassy field, the fabric covering their eyes doing nothing to less their worries.

It started when suddenly Alban popped up at the shop after their working hours, insisting that he made them a great surprise and that they need to come with him, after walking for some time he covered their eyes with a bandana he had in his pocket.

They have been walking for about 5 minutes, and Mc was begining to whine, wanting to know why their eyes were covered for so long, Alban chuckled and assured mc with a pat that they'd arrive in about two more minutes.

When they finally arrive at Alban takes the blindfold off Mc's face, they gasp suddenly at the sight infornt of them, eyes taking in the white blanket thrown over a few tree branches, two small beanbags pushed next to each other with pillows on them, a projector infornt of the beanbags, a small blanket with a bowl full of popcorn and a few other plates of food on it.

Alban throws his arm over Mc's shoulder with a happy grin, feeling extremely proud of himself, Mc pinching his cheeks with a pout.

"It's beautiful Alban, thank you but you didn't have to blindfold me for so long" Mc huffed moving to take a seat on the comfy beanbag, Alban trailing after them with a pout and big eyes rubbing his sore cheek.

"It wouldn't have been a surprise if I didn't" the male whined throwing himself against Mc's side who sighed and kissed his head ruffling his hair gently.

"Thank you for the surprise baby, what movie are we watching though?" Mc asked placing their head on top of Alban's who turned on the projector and showed them the movies on his laptop a grin growing on his face when he showed Mc their favorite movie.

"Your favourite!" Alban says excitedly turning on the movie with an excited hum placing his laptop next to him, and nuzzling into Mc's shoulder while watching the movie.

The two sat under the stars watching the movie together, feeling happier than ever, since they were together.

--------------------------------------------------

Thank you for reading all support is highly appreciated ♡︎.

[bowieandqueen11]

Celebrating Roman Roy’s Birthday Would Include...

Request: OOOOOH i have one if you don't mind. how about hcs for celebrating roman's birthday? cause as we know when it comes to roys there's inevitably Something Traumatic happening on every holiday, i just want him to have a good day with someone who loves him🥺

Love honestly so true he deserves someone to just love him without condition :( I am FEELING

Warning: strong language, implied eating disorder and mentions of childhood mental/physical abuse!

(I do not own Succession or its characters, all rights go to creators. Gif credit goes to @bettercallgerri.)

☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°

Roman Roy decided very early on the day to make an incredibly sensible decision. For the next twenty three and a half hours, he was going to ignore his phone every time it started vibrating in his jacket pocket, and irritated the skin against his breast. He was going to squeeze his eyes shut, and pick at his fingernails when at one in the afternoon, on the dot, his sister would send exactly the same generic fruit basket for his birthday as she did the previous year. He would crinkle his nose in irritation when the eldest Roy sent him a comic voicemail about how ‘he was still that little pup that threw a fish at him’ during their camping trip, despite his age.

And worst of all, and perhaps the most difficult for Roman Roy, he wasn’t going to feel depressed once about how his father had forgotten his birthday again. Well, not until he received the stereotypical rushed job of a blank card and sloppy signature of his father typed at the bottom the next day, sent as if he were signing a cheque. He wrote it off as being just another transaction: signing away all the love he owed Roman, justifying it as the price one has to pay for success. Only then would Roman allow himself to excuse off to the bathroom for a moment, before curling up into a ball and crying into his knees as he had done for every birthday he could remember.

He just wanted to spend one day: one single, solitary, sought after, scorned day to spend with the one person in his life he had always loved without hesitation. With the only person who truly saw him. Who loved him for who he was right now, and who, you knew, he should be. So, he decided the rest of his family could go fuck themselves for a meagre twenty four hours, while he made the most of snuggling up to you in bed.

Roman’s always been a naturally restive man at heart, and so it wasn’t long until that little goblin smirk of his came peering past the duvet and over your shoulder. 

‘You know what?’, he murmured, resting his elbow by his head so he could turn and lie facing you properly. ‘Fuck it. We should just, I don’t fucking know, stay here all day until we have become one with the comforter.’ 

‘As lovely as that sounds’, you stretch up and groan, slapping Roman’s hand away as he reaches up to tickle under your armpit. ‘I have plans, I’m afraid.’

‘You- fucking- what? You have plans, are you fucking me right now?’ For a second he jumps up, his eyes squinting as he stares at you crestfallen. But then he sees the smile you’re trying to hide twitch at the corner of your lips, and he falls back down onto the mattress unceremoniously. While he reaches around and tries to thump you in the face with his pillow, you take the opportunity to wrestle his arm and loop it around your own. He gladly gives in, settling down next to you again as you continue: ‘I may have plans, but you’re very welcome to join in with them. If you’re nice to me, that is.’

‘I’m always fucking nice to you’, Roman mutters, but he reaches up to accept the kiss you’re trying to place on the side of his stubble. ‘Good’, you turn back to look at the alarm clock on your bedside table, ‘because we have to be up and out in approximately fifteen minutes.’

‘You are full of fucking surprises, you know that? God, I love you.’

Ever since you and Roman were seven years old, and his father had hit him for the first time after sneaking you up the side of his bedroom window for a sleepover his father had strictly forbidden, as he deemed Roman getting up bright and early for his fencing lessons the next morning to be far more important, you had kept a list in your head of all the mundane things Roman had been punished for as a child. Every birthday since then, you tried to strike one off the list, and this year you had decided to plan ahead, and asked Karolina to hire out a park for you a couple of states away for a water fight. 

It was silly, and stupid, and childish, but when Roman sauntered into the kitchen after his shower and saw you trying to shove pretty hefty super soakers into your backpack, his face lit up like a child’s on Christmas morning. Hence the two of you flying off in your own private helicopter, trying to place a little wriggle room between Roman and the rest of the Roys; you felt almost ridiculous for a moment, whizzing past buildings and waving treelines with only a couple of water guns on you, but Roman was gripping onto your fingers so tightly the whole journey that the embarrassment flooded away. The whole time, his foot was tapping against the edge of yours like a wasp’s sting, his bottom lip nearly bloody from how hard he was chewing it. Whether it was from anticipation, or whether he had the foresight to anticipate the abuse he was going to garner from his father for the wasted journey and tabloid pictures you didn’t know. You held his hand back just as tightly, praying for him to have just one happy day.

Thankfully, once you arrived, Roman literally leapt out of the helicopter like some kind of Doberman. He shrugged off his coat and threw it back into the cabin, before rustling in the bag to grab his loot. Before you could even question what he was doing, a chilled gust of water came splatting you straight up the face, and hurtling you backwards. Let’s just say, Roman’s high pitched hyena laugh was heard all around the fringes of the daisy-strewn field, as he went skidding across the blades like a wanted criminal.

Sometimes, you would hold your hands up as if in defeat, and he would come strutting over to you with his gun in the air and one hand on his waist. Stating that you had run out of water, you wanted to wipe that smug smile off his face as he came and tried to pull your hands behind your back. He walked you both backwards until you were pinned against the tree, and although he’s doing his best to look all sexy, and mysterious, and sheriff like as he tries to unlatch your fingers slowly from the triggers, it was a huge mistake. Using the distraction, you pull his own gun from him and pull his shirt forward, spraying water straight down his bare chest.

‘Oh, you fucker!’

If anyone could see the two of you: sprinting about like children in the mud, not caring as bits of wet dirt skidded up and stained your suit shirts. Parading through the flowers, laughter pealing like bells wherever you went. They would think you were free, and perhaps, for a moment, you both were.

At one point Roman comes swinging down from an oak tree and scares the living absolute fuck out of you. For a second he looks afraid: that remnant of his father’s ‘love’ making him feel sick to his stomach, but that is quickly alleviated when you come over and trace down the slight stubble of his neck. Your pointer finger comes to trace up his chin, and then over the top of his lip, before you lean up and gently melt your lips against his awaiting ones.

The two of you decide (once you’ve managed to unlatch spider monkey from you) to swing your legs up over the tree branch and sit up there for a while, like you used to do when you were teenagers sickly sweet in a hidden, reciprocated love. Back in the days when Roman would carry himself, wounded and crying, to trudge around his father’s estate and find wherever your newest hidie-hole from the world was. It didn’t matter if it was underneath one of the neighbouring orchard trees, or out sitting on a lounge chair on his bedroom balcony, or tucked up inside one of the pool sheds, hidden between unused surfboards and half-chewed pool noodles, Roman had a sixth sense when it came to finding you. You, too, always knew he was coming: mainly from the sound of impeding sniffles, and you had your arm out and ready for him to come curl up into. Against his side, he would crest himself like the fallen son, trying to make himself as small a target as possible against your chest. 

Sometimes you would tuck a book out from your bag and read to him. Other times, the two of you would just chatter like soft sunlight amidst the dark blots of his father’s pristine possessions. Most of all, Roman would usually fall into an uneasy sleep against your neck, and would only rise again once the irritated call of his newest nanny rang out from the veranda.

It had taken him a while to realise he could feel safe in your arms, rather than just hide away, but when he did, he would rest his head on your shoulder and wish he could stay alone with you forever.

So he was more than delighted to re-enact his favourite parts of his childhood with you, even if he can’t fully settle his whole heart into it. You try your best to seem as nonchalant as ever: leaning your head back until it scratches on the bark, swinging one leg over until it catches the sharp gleam of the cresting mid-afternoon sun. Roman’s hunched over, sitting in between your legs, and although he’s being set alight with some kind of giddiness that he can freely be with you now without having to hide, his body’s response is still set to flight or fight. His fingers dance over your legs like a skimming dragonfly, running over the inseams before landing on your ankles and squeezing. 

Becoming over alert of how his eyes keep darting away from you, as if he’s still awaiting the strike he knows is punishment for daring to show love towards anyone, you reach out for him. After an awkward moment of manoeuvring, the two of you manage to reach an agreement on how to sit: you still leaning back, and Roman now lying against your chest, with his legs straight out against the skittish twigs. He looks ethereal against the soft rolls of honey that seemed to drape around the two of you, the crimson burnt fringes of the leaves protecting him from the outside world. And yet Roman still jumps when he feels your fingers brush against the edge of his face, as if you had been trying to burn him. 

It’s taken time. It takes time. It will take time. But to you, using all the understanding and patience in the world would be worth it, if it allowed Roman Roy to live. So you just hold him around the waist, and wait for him to become comfortable. You whisper quotes from your favourite books into his ears, and the sky slowly begins to roll over with lavender and a deep blushing maroon, you tell him about the new memes online from Connor’s campaign. He snorts at that, almost twitching awake in your grasp, but you appreciate the way he tries by leaning backwards and languidly blinking, pressing a brushing kiss against your bottom lip.

Before the two of you return home, he decides he wants to see how ‘the peasants live’ by eating in a normal restaurant. Although he shudders at your implication that he’s turning into Cousin Greg, it ends up being one of the happiest dining experiences of his life. Roman had always had a difficult relationship with food: between his mother’s teasing about his looks at the dining table when he was a toddler, to his father smacking him for bad table manners, to every adult dinner party revolving around sub-plots and back-stabbing, he’d found it all difficult to swallow. Being with you, thankfully, made the experience a little easier.

He even found himself laughing when the sushi you had tried to feed him with your chopsticks came flopping down onto the table in a mushed heap of rice and wasabi, and the joy didn’t leave his face as you came up to cradle his face and wipe bits of salmon away from the lines of his lips. The whole time, he was incredibly aware of how carelessly he allowed his knee to rest against your own; he was conscious of how other customers might notice the way he held your hand over the bar stools between courses, but for the first time in his life, he allowed himself the freedom not to care.

One of the waitresses makes a comment about how sweet the two of you look together on the way out, and oh my god does Roman ride that high the whole way back to the park. Cue him being a full peachy, blubbering, hyper mess, with giggles only a dog could hear slipping out of his mouth every ten metres down the pavements.

You give him his present when you get home: you’d collated over the last couple of months some of your favourite pictures, both of you and Roman over the years, as well as full family shots. You had asked Connor, Kendall and Shiv to add some of their favourite memories in the margins of the shots, until the black and white photobook was bursting with neatly looped letters and little drawings of dicks (kindly added by Ken.)

Roman chokes when he sees it. He fists his hand into his mouth, shrugging as his eyes widen, brimming with tears as he flips through the pages. He starts getting over hyper, repeating over and over and over again that ‘yeah, yeah- it’s nice, I like it’, because he thinks it’s some kind of trick. Because he can’t handle the thought of his siblings loving him without some sort of condition. Because just one kind word it’s what he’s been seeking from them his whole life, and your eyes widen in horror as you realise why he’s taking a step backwards. Why his bottom lip is jutting out. Why he looks like a noose is tightening around his neck. You glance down, and you can see it in all the pictures: in every frame, his siblings are looking dead-on, deadpan into the camera, and he’s glancing up at them. In the pictures with you, he’s clearly choking down the love that’s bursting out of his every being as he gazes at you in every. single. one. 

It guts you to realise it’s taking you so long to reciprocate just a little of that love that’s been suffocating him his whole life.

He regresses into Logan Roy mode, and it breaks your heart all the more; he wanders over to the cabinet to pour a tumbler of whiskey for the two of you, before settling himself down on the edge of the settee. He pulls out his phone, getting prepared to come back to himself: to scroll through the news channel and chat with you about the events he’d missed while taking a few hours off for himself.

Yet he doesn’t complain when you tenderly take his hand, choosing instead not to let him wallow. You lead him over to one of the armchairs over looking the cityscape, pushing on his chest until he collapses down into it. With a content sigh, he watches you go choose a book from the collection you had curated by the television, before coming back to squeeze yourself in beside him. He’s half sitting on your lap, but neither of you really give a stuff as he winds his arms around your neck and settles against your heartbeat. With his head on your collar bone, and your finger mindlessly drawing patterns in the tufts of hair behind his ear, you begin to read aloud to him. From time to time you peer behind the spine and catch his eye, and it makes you fumble over your words a little when you spot him. He’s gazing up at you as if you were perfection incarnate, and for the first time in his sorrowful life, Roman Roy begins his next year on this planet with one hopeful thought smacking around the inside of his head: perhaps this year, he won’t have to suffer just for being Roman.

[milkyst4rs]

Their love language

Zhongli, Diluc, Xiao, Thoma x GN Reader

Fluffy floof ☁️🫶🏽

Zhongli 🤍 Acts of service

I can picture Zhongli waking up before you to make breakfast and tea before you both head to work 😢 he has the smallest grin on his pretty face while cooking.

Makes sure the house is clean so you don't have to worry about anything else and have your full attention on him.

He will come and pick you up from work after his own is done so you two can walk back home together 🫶🏽

He just wants to make sure you are carefree and happy with him 😞

Diluc 🤍 Quality Time

Diluc is a very busy man but he makes sure he always has time for you. Even if he just spends 10 minutes with you, it's enough for him to recharge and continue with his work.

On his off days, he will plan out the whole day for you. No disturbances, just you two. He will prepare a nice picnic at Windrise with all your favourite dishes.

For days where he does have to work, he will cherish the mornings with you. Hugging you and leaving soft kisses all over your body, to ensure you of his love.

Days with him are never boring that's for sure.

Xiao 🤍 Acts of service

Xiao is a little shy 🫶🏽 so, to make up for his lack of affectionate words, he makes sure that you are safe wherever you go.

It breaks his heart to see you in pain, wether it be physically or mentally. You can see that he is trying his very best for you, to make sure you are comfortable and well with him.

Studies about mortal traditions that couples do and tries them out with you 🫶🏽 slowly but surely he will be confident with his words. For now, he'll stick to being your knight in shining armor!

Thoma 🤍 Words of affirmation

Oh my sweet, sweet boy😭

Is so proud of you when you accomplish something. Always saying "I am so proud of you [name]!"

Makes sure you know that he truly loves you and that he's so happy to be your boyfriend 🥺

On nights where you two are cuddling in bed, he will just spew out declarations of love to you. He's so in love with you he just can't keep it to himself!

Will always compliment you, you could be in your ugly ass pyjamas with drool all over your face, he will say that you are the most beautiful person he's ever seen.

----------------------------

an; should i make a part 2 with more characters? Lmk!!

[aerodynamic-acephalic]

ok I just need to get my thoughts down because I don't see anyone else talking about this. spoilers for the new episode of Helluva Boss.

In the new episode, "The Full Moon", in relation to the Stolitz dynamic, there is a huge correlation between melody and emotions.

The duet at the start has Stolas singing the entire time, while Blitz is rapping the whole thing. Not that rap isn't music, nor that he isn't singing with deliberate pitch, but his parts of the song feel closer to spoken prose then Stolas'. In the words themselves, Stolas spend the entire time commenting on his own worries about Blitz and their meeting, while Blitz spends the song avoid his own anxieties about his relationship with Stolas, and in fact out right says he's "getting in [his] own head" when he begins to acknowledge his relationship with Stolas as "complex" before swerving out of that topic entirely.

And this is also true for their meeting at the end of the episode. The music that plays at the start is reflective of Stolas' inner emotional state while Blitz talks about what he bought. Then when Stolas brings up the Asmodian Crystal, the music turns more hopeful. And again, when Stolas states that Blitz is no longer under any obligation to do anything to/with him, the music changes to play a singular long note. This whole time, the music has changed to reflect Stolas' mental state throughout this conversation.

Then it's Blitz's turn to react and it goes dead silent. And even though Blitz could very much go "k thanks bye" and ditch Stolas, his reaction is "Am I not working hard enough? I can do better". Blitz, unlike Stolas, is not addressing the underlying emotions of his care for the other, defaulting to trying to bring back their status quo rather than (work to) resolve the issues in their relationship to make them both happier.

The music come back when Stolas answers with how much he truly cares about Blitz and he doesn't want a relationship built on a power imbalance the way theirs currently is.

Blitz, once again, swerves from the conversation as the music, once again cuts out, defaulting to assuming that he's not being serious.

This, obviously, hurts Stolas, with the music following in tow, where it cuts out (with the exception of a sustained chord this time) at Blitz realising that Stolas was being serious about genuinely caring about him and ever so slightly touching on how that makes him feel.

Music revives briefly for Stolas to verbalise how Blitz's dismissal and inability to believe his care for him when it cuts out at Blitz screaming at him. Here again it's Blitz not directly addressing why or what hurt him, but rather him angry that Stolas is dismissing his attempts at trying to understand and deal with the situation (rightfully so), though doing so through screaming and generalising ("you royal fucks think you can do this every time") as a way to bring back a semblance of control.

The music rolls in with Stolas being upset and crying and fades out when Blitz is teleported away.

This entire episode where these two are on screen (so, like the first 3min and the last 5min) has the music emphasising not only what the characters feel, but also how in-tune with and aware they are of how and why they feel the way they do, with Stolas able to do so much more than Blitz.

I saved the best for last, as there are exactly two exceptions to the "Blitz has no music but Stolas does" observation.

The first (and the less interesting and implicative of the two) is right after Blitz dismisses Stolas' feelings. Here, though Stolas does talk, he is very much building walls and pushing Blitz away through both his generally dismissive tone and him actively trying to walk away from them conversation. Also a thing to note is how when Stolas thanks Blitz for making him as happy as he did, the music is there, but everything but the sustained chord leaves when Stolas blurts out "I wish you the best with your business" while walking away, and completely ignoring anything Blitz has to say at all about how he feels. It only comes back when he talks about his own hurt.

The second is after Blitz is teleported away. The "feelings" character is off-screen. We shouldn't be hearing any music at all. And we don't, initially. But as Blitz screams to the sky two note play. And these two notes are the only notes that start playing while Blitz speaks in these 5 minutes, and they are the only notes (I'm pretty sure) in this scene that play where we don't immediately see/hear what could be causing the emotions that the music implies. It is here where everything Blitz has been doing to maintain the status quo breaks down. It is here that Blitz has nothing to think of to not think about him and Stolas. It is here where Blitz grapples with his own feelings about Stolas and his relationship with him.

can you see why I've been going insane for the past few hours...?

[scaratastic]

My love.

in which how male genshin characters shows their love to you. ( might contain some grammatical error or even spelling mistakes idk i don't proofread cus we die like real men /j )

fluff

Kaeya

many people said that he's most likely to cheat on his s/o when in fact, it is quite impossible for him to do that.

man certainly has abandonment issues after losing both of his dads and his brother. sorry

i personally view him as the type to show you how much he loves you both by actions and words but slightly more to words (?) .

like he'd tease you about how beautiful you look, how gorgeous you truly are etc during times when he just feels like it but there's also time where he just wants to feel your body against his own, arms securing your body while inhaling your scent as you both cuddled before heading off to dreamland.

he'd certainly tease you during random times which will make you get all flustered. this man is full of surprises.

even if he's the type to always joke around and tease you nonstop, he'll always make sure that you know just how much he loves and cherish your existence in his life!

Diluc

he's the type of guy who'd buy you random gifts or give you some flowers that has special meanings behind it.

dinner dates or any type of dates that you prefer. yes, he loves to spoil you.

list all the things that you want, he'll get them for you. even if it is impossible, he'll find a way.

"if you're happy, then i am happy."

he gives everything to you. his love, his trust, himself, literally everything.

he might be a man of a few words and very awkward during the early stage of your relationship but he'll warm up later.

waking up in the morning with him cuddling you hehe

i can actually see him being a bit clingy here, specially when he overworked himself for the past few days. he'll definitely not let you go even if you squirmed and whined, reminding him that he has to wake up or he'll be late for work.

overall a very caring, kind, polite and a bit clingy type of lover. so take care of him please 🙏

Bennett

he would collect any pretty items on his adventures and give them to you as a suprise.

definitely brags about how you are literally so amazing and the best human to ever exist in teyvat to everyone.

"[Name] is just so amazing ! They can fight, they can cook, they can clean—" and so, the list of him praising you goes on.

adventures with him as a date. although he swore that the route that he chose for the both of you to walk through was literally clear a few hours ago, why there's so many monster there now ?

poor boy thinks that it's because of his bad luck. but hey, atleast he got the chance to admire your fighting skills while getting ready to brag about this cool moment of you to katheryne and his friends.

he's just smitten over you okay

Razor

he's clingy.

you can't blame him though, sometimes you just get so busy that you don't have time to visit him in Wolvendom.

he knows your scent and probably recognised the sound of your footsteps so whenever you came to visit, he's already waiting for you on the entrance of Wolvendom.

would escort you to a safe place before asking you to sit as he lays down with his head on top of your leg and buried his face to your stomach.

silently asks you to play with his hair because it's comforting.

okay but just imagine you both in that position beneath a tree, and then you read or tell him a story.

he would grow curious about it and asks questions from time to time. oh, and his reactions are priceless.

like he'd gasp, gets excited when the character from the story that you told him was about to have a good ending and probably huffs and groan when the story did not go well.

picnincs with him mhm. feed him and he's all red. would probably return the favor to you.

Albedo

he probably doesn't allow you to visit him when he's in dragonspine too much because he's worried about you.

but when you do visit him though, he'd ask you to sit down on the chair he provided while lending youb a hot drink to warm yourself up.

this little visit would often turn into study dates. when he sees you curiously observed his movements, he would ask you to come to him as he lends you his notes and explains to you what is his goal and so on.

yes, he won't just leave his job for you. but he'll talk and try to start a conversation with you just so you won't feel lonely and such. what do you expect from a workaholic anyw

would make some things that he thinks you'd like from alchemy and gives it to you.

"it reminds me of you.. so please, take it."

Venti

a date in the tavern.

him flirting like crazy with you as you turned red and shamelessly flirt back. Diluc often kicks your drunk ass and your boyfriend out of the tavern because of this though.

if your're not the type to enjoy alcohol or doesn't like the idea of getting drunk with your boyfriend in the tavern as a date though, then don't worry ! this lil boyfriend of yours got it covered.

would probably try and convince you to sneak out and join him stargaze.

while you're both stargazing, he'd summon his lyre and plays with it while humming a soft tune that'll make the night much more comfortable and enjoyable.

you both would play around like kids afterwards, making some of the monsters notice your presence but venti would take care of them though ;)

during random times, he would just stare and admire you silently.

"have anyone told you that you look absolutely gorgeous ?"

throws random compliments during the most random time. like he'd literally say "you're very pretty you know." after you clear out a hilichurl camp and ofc you'd go like "what"

he's unpredictable. much like kaeya, he is full of surprises. so be prepared of whatever plan that he has in his mind.

njdndjdndjd i still have no scara and no primos i'm about to cry, but anyw should i do this for other characters as well ?

[fizzyxcustard]

Heaven and Hell (2)

Part 1

Fandom: Pilgrimage (2017)

Pairings: Raymond de Merville x Fem!Reader, Fem!Reader x Original male character

Word count: 2791

Warnings: Language, angst, arranged marriage, sexual references, slight religious/spiritual symbols and references.

Summary: From the imagine “Raymond has lost all hope of love and completely shut his heart down after losing everyone he has ever loved. Until he meets you.” 

Comments: Requested by @linasofia and @sazzlep

As always, if you wish to be added to my tag lists, please let me know.

You woke the next morning with your mind still full of Raymond. He had visited you in your dreams, kissing you again, and this time you reciprocated, bearing your all to him. 

The light was breaking through a thin layer of cloud which was on the horizon, and you could see the gold and orange hues beginning to seep from behind the trees. For a few moments you lay on your bed and looked out of the window, with only your breath and the twittering of birds being the source of any sound. 

A tightness had begun to twist in your chest as you thought on Raymond’s words. Was he truly offering a life of love and companionship? Or was it just an act to help you become ensnared by his lustful want of you? 

The day began like so many others; you ate breakfast alongside your mother and father, and then moved off into the main sewing room with your mother, to finish a gown which had been requested by Baron de Merville’s younger sister, Marie. 

Your mother and you remained in silence for most of the morning, until she spoke. “I received word this morning that you were seen in the company of the Baron’s son.” She looked at you with dark eyes. Accusation and anger sat behind them. 

“Y…yes, I was,” you replied. Lying as to your whereabouts would only cause more problems for you, so you decided to tell the truth. 

“But you are to be wed next month.” 

“I know, Mother. But Raymond has become a friend to me.”

Your mother leaned closer to you and dropped her needle. “You have no idea what that man is capable of. He is a friend to no one but himself and his own wants.” Her eyes were wide in anger and desperation. 

“You do not know him personally…”

“I do not need to know him personally. His reputation has been formed from reliable sources, and I will not have you partaking in his company any more, do you understand me?”

*

Raymond spat commands at his men, feeling that fire burn in his chest and stomach. His ice-blue eyes focused on Henri, and the longer he glared, the more vivid Raymond’s imaginations became. All he could see in his mind’s eyes was bludgeoning the bastard to death, and then pulling you before the body, where the two of you made love in an act of defiance. 

Just as Raymond’s men were disbanding to have lunch, Raymond stood next to Henri and grabbed his arm. “Off to see your whore?” Raymond snarled. 

“What of it?” Henri replied, his voice shaking as he looked up at his commander. 

“Raymond?” a gentle voice came. 

That voice made a flutter rise in Raymond’s gut. He recognised that sweet voice, and instantly spun on his heel to see you. In your hands was more food, covered in cloth. “Leave us be, Henri. Raymond is right, you have a whore to satisfy.” Your words were cold, and as you spoke, your gaze never left Raymond’s. 

Henri disappeared in silence with a sigh and gentle shrug of his shoulders. 

Raymond sat opposite you and watched as you opened the cloth and began taking food out to hand to him. His eyes were red hot, and all you could feel as intense heat taking control of your body. 

“My mother knows about us, Raymond, and has forbid me from seeing you. She believes you to be dangerous,” you told him, handing him a piece of freshly baked fruit bread. 

Raymond smirked. “Yet here you are.” 

“Here I am,” you said, eating a grape slowly. “Maybe I’m too curious for my own good.” 

You held your head low for a few seconds, and Raymond noticed this. He frowned and leaned in. “Something bothers you.” 

You lifted your gaze back to him and sighed, narrowing your eyes. 

“Your mother’s words have made you question me, have they not?” 

You saw the sadness swell in his eyes, which then became dark with a flash of anger. You reached across and touched his hand, brushing your fingertips across his tanned skin. “I know I must make up my own mind about you, but I cannot stop the doubts rising when my own mother warns me about you.” 

“She wishes for you to marry Henri, so of course she will tell you of how evil a man I am. It is true, that I can be an evil man, but you help curb that side of me, Cheri. I am guessing that she is aware of our interest in each other.” 

The way he said ‘interest’ made a shiver of excitement race up your spine. It was deep, and his eyes smouldered now in want. The sadness had disappeared, leaving lust in its wake. 

Before the two of you parted that lunch time, Raymond reached for your hand and lifted it to his lips and kissed it. “Will you meet me again this evening? I wish to show you something. Do not worry about your attire as I shall be taking you for a stroll.” 

You couldn’t help but grin and giggle. “Where shall we meet and at what time?” 

“Just as the sun sets. On the bank of the river at the entrance to the forest road.” 

*

It wasn’t long before sunset and you paced your room, knowing that your mother would ask questions. You glanced at your window, watching the colours of the sky turn to gold and orange. The window! With a smile, you put on your cloak and hood, then climbed out of the window. It was only a small house, with no upstairs. You plopped down into the grass and waited for a second, checking left and right to make sure no one was around to see you. 

As you tiptoed away, hoping no one would appear and catch you, it made you think how all of your life you had followed the rules. Your parents had organised every aspect of your life; your marriage to Henri, your work alongside your mother, even the friends you had as a child. It was all orchestrated by them. For once, you were making a choice of your own, following your own heart in search of something you desperately wanted. 

Raymond waited at the river, watching it flow. As the darkness descended, the water became ripples of navy blue and silver. The swish of the water was calming, until he heard footfall and snapped his head around. 

Immediately you saw his lips curl into a smile. And a flutter hit your stomach, moving up so it felt as though it were about to consume your chest. Despite the dusk taking over the land, you could see his long nose and the twinkle of his eyes. 

Raymond reached out and took your hand in his, guiding you along the riverbank. His hand was warm and calloused beneath yours. It was large, swallowing yours, but it felt so right. You felt protected, cared for. 

The two of you walked for a few minutes, remaining silent. Dusk was moving in, growing heavy around you. The first stars began to twinkle. 

You came to a small clearing, and beneath an old oak tree, was a stone cross which had been placed into the ground. Beneath the cross was an oval shape, made with various rocks. Raymond continued holding your hand and the two of you stopped in front of the cross. Inscribed into the stone was the name Sophie de Merville. 

“My father first met my mother here. He always said that as soon as he saw her, he knew she was destined to be his wife. But it was being my father’s wife that caused her death.” Raymond sighed and looked down at his feet. He swallowed hard over the lump on his throat while you gripped his hand tight. “I vowed I would never become him, but slowly I did. War broke him, as it has me.” 

Raymond’s silver blue gaze met yours. There was so much sadness in his face, mixed with pain. “You are not your father, Raymond. You see the kind of man he is, and avoid walking that path.” 

“But I did. I went to war for him, followed him, the very man who brought destruction on our family through his own wrongdoings. He owed money, and those he owned money to took my mother’s life as payment. The first day I met you, all I could see was my mother. No woman has ever showed me kindness of their own want, only my mother and you. You may be betrothed to Henri, but I can’t let you go.” 

You whispered his name again and inched closer to him. He was head and shoulders above you, and kissed your head softly. “We always want to please our mothers and fathers, yet they do not deserve our loyalty,” you said. “No one has ever considered what I’ve wanted, until I met you. I’ve always been led by my family, meeting their demands and needs. My happiness has never been a consideration.” 

Raymond kissed you, and together you both sank into each other. You no longer cared that you had known each other merely a week; what you felt for this man was beyond anything you had ever felt for anyone else. Time meant nothing. 

“I am the son of the Baron,” Raymond said, his forehead brushing yours. “I have enough power to stop your wedding and claim you for my bride instead.” 

“The dowry has been paid,” you replied. “You would need to take that money back from Henri.” 

“He can keep the fucking money!” Raymond hissed. “I want you above anything else.” 

***

The next morning and you woke to the sound of raised voices. It was Sunday, meaning that it was your day off from duties. You slipped out of bed, still in your nightgown and opened your door in apprehension. 

Was that Raymond’s voice? 

“She is already to be married to Henri. This was arranged between our families when she was but a girl. Circumstance meant they were not able to wed sooner.” 

You finally caught sight of Raymond, and immediately he made you gasp for breath. Tall, broad, powerful. The man was a beautiful sight to behold. 

“Henri is already fucking his whore on a daily basis, while your daughter still shows him kindness and loyalty.” 

“Loyalty?” your mother scoffed. “While she’s off being serenaded by you?” 

Raymond glared at your mother, towering above her. “You will learn to hold your tongue in a discussion that does not concern you. This is between your husband and I.”

“Raymond…” you said softly. 

Your father immediately noticed the set of Raymond’s face change. His clenched jaw slacked and his gaze grew soft at the sight of you. “I will take this to my father,” Raymond said, smiling at you and then turning his attention back to your enraged parents. “As the Baron, he has the final word on affairs of this village.” 

Your mother dashed at you, her face livid. “You have got a lot to answer for, my girl. You ungrateful wretch!” A sudden slap came to your face, which knocked you backward, and then a second later, pain swelled in your cheek. “After everything that we have done for you; kept you for many years past what is normal of societal standards. At your age, you’re already considered a spinster.” 

Raymond took a step toward your mother, his eyes wide. “You raise your hand to her one more time and I will make sure you are thrown into stocks. You should be ashamed of yourself for saying such things to your own daughter.” 

“You do not scare me, Raymond,” your mother hissed. “You come in here and act all high and mighty when I know of all the atrocity you have committed. Henri is a good man for her, and one that will no doubt teach her manners and how to be grateful for what she has. There is no way in this world or the next, that I would ever allow her to marry you.” 

Raymond edged closer to your mother, a smirk curling his lips upward. “Then I am fortunate that my father’s word outweighs yours.” 

“You cannot…!” 

“Oh, I can, and I will. And just for your disgusting treatment of her, I will take her to stay with me at the chateau.” Raymond’s gaze drifted toward you. “Pack your belongings. I will not have you staying here.” 

“Sir Raymond, please, see sense,” your father interjected. 

“I am seeing sense! You wish to wed your daughter to a man who is not worthy of her. And in her defence, before she met me, she was still attending to that bastard’s every whim while he was away fucking his whore in the barn. And you callher ungrateful? She was ready to see that marriage through, but I’m the one who is putting a stop to it.” 

“And when did you grow a heart?” your mother countered. “Surely she can’t have changed your mind on your view of women.” 

Raymond scoffed. “Consider yourself a mother? Come now, get your belongings.” 

You did as Raymond insisted and began to pack clothing, along with a wooden cross that once belonged to your grandmother. Your chest was swelling with so many unfamiliar emotions, all of them being aimed at your mother and Raymond. 

Footsteps alerted you that someone was behind you. And as you turned, you were shocked to see Raymond standing in the doorway. Both of you smiled at each other, with silence lingering in the physical space that kept you apart. Raymond’s smiles now reached his eyes, causing the silver blue depths to sparkle in happiness and joy. Upon first meeting him and they were always dark, a sign of his loneliness and the oppression of a heavy heart. 

You walked to Raymond slowly and wound your arm around his neck, stepping up onto tip toes. Immediately and he pulled you into a hot kiss, his tongue becoming so hungry in search for yours. 

As you both parted, he kept his intense gaze locked on yours. “Will you be my wife?” he asked. 

“Yes. I would be honoured.” 

***

Once you and Raymond had arrived at the chateau, which was a short horse ride from your home, both of you were summoned to the Baron’s main study. Word must have somehow reached him of Raymond’s actions earlier that day. 

Together you walked down the long hallway, passing the dining room and library, until you made it to a grand room at the very end. As you stepped inside, you were greeted by the Baron, who was sat at a large desk. He was glaring at the two of you. 

“I did not think that I would be waking this morning to question my son’s motives behind objecting to an arranged marriage,” he hissed. “These marriages build strength in alliances. But I have no need for your father’s allegiance. He has need for your future husband’s, I assume?” 

“Henri and I have been friends since we were children, so the allegiance has always been there, my Lord. I do not believe my father finds any necessity in my marriage to Henri.” 

“I will not be the reason that this marriage is objected to.” 

“I will marry her, father, whether you give us your blessing or not,” Raymond growled. 

The Baron chuckled. “Oh, Raymond. My dearest son, who has survived war by torturing other men. Who has raped women, been a drunkard, publicly denounced God, and suddenly you develop feelings for another human being? There is no love or ounce of kindness inside you, Raymond. Your mother always knew it.” 

“Don’t you dare speak of her!” Raymond roared, banging his hand down on the desk. “You sit there and act as though you are holier than thou and have committed no sin, when you bathe in it. You stink of your sins, father. It would take far more than repentance for you to enter the gates of heaven. Fucking hypocrite.”  

The intensity of the exchange between the two men was causing you to shake. Terror had wrapped around you and took hold, keeping you prisoner. The freedom that Raymond had promised you was an impossible future; no one was going to let you be wed. Everything was futile. 

“Raymond, let it be,” you said, defeat strong in your voice. “No one will let us be together.” 

“I will not let this lie!” Raymond exclaimed, his eyes wide in shock at your change of heart. His throat quivered 

“Mon amour, let it go,” you said again. 

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[malicious-compliance-esq]

Why the World Needs Black Jack Randall: Queer Representation at Its Worst and Best

On March 29 my amazing mutual and fellow Evil Redcoat Pipeline traveler @meerawrites tagged me in a reblog of this video essay from @rowanellis about media literacy and queer villains that mentions both Lestat de Lioncourt from Interview with the Vampire and Black Jack Randall from Outlander. Double bisexual representation from an openly ace creator? Be still my heart!

I’d seen a few of Rowan’s other videos on YouTube—not ever having looked for her on Tumblr before Meera sent me that video—and often enjoyed both the content and the nuance. Certainly true for many aspects of this one as well. I want to make it very clear before going into detail here that I ardently support Rowan as a creator and appreciate that advocacy for diverse queer representation tremendously. I’m tagging her blog here primarily to promote her work and to encourage folks to explore for themselves. Her video essays are excellent in general and this one certainly has its fair share of wonderful content just the same.

I love the analysis here of why queer villains often get embraced as folk heroes by the LGBTQIA+ community, and many of the specific commentaries on beloved characters from iconic films and shows I grew up on like The Rocky Horror Picture Show and The Lion King. Of course, I’m no expert on any of those canons despite many viewings. I don’t consider myself an expert on Interview with the Vampire by any means either, but I’ve read all the books and seen the film and the available season of the new television adaptation. I found a lot of the commentary here insightful and resonant as a more casual consumer of media in that universe. I fully expect that folks who truly do have that depth of expertise would have much to say about the specifics of Rowan’s analysis of Lestat.

If y’all are on my blog, you know why I’m here and you know where my expertise lies. I am here to sustain the collective derangement of the few and the proud who take a deeper interest in Black Jack. Who see him for the complex and complicated person he is rather than writing him off as a Complete Monster or hand waving the things he does that truly are monstrous. And oftentimes who take that deeper look at him from the informed perspective of lived experience with sexual abuse. Many of the folks I’ve met who find Black Jack uniquely resonant and compelling do so from the firsthand perspective of submissiveness and masochism—of finding him alluring because of what he could do for them.

Well then. You could fix him. You could make him worse. I could rail him.

I’m going to out myself in no uncertain terms here because I need to make my authorial standpoint painstakingly clear. Hi, my name is Malicious Compliance. In addition to being quite openly bisexual in every possible area of my life, I am Dominant and sadistic. Are those the only things I enjoy sexually? Not at all. Although I’m not switchy in the slightest when it comes to D/s and S&M activities, I absolutely enjoy sex that does not involve BDSM elements as well. I’ve also had intensely kinky sexual relationships that involved no physical practice of sadism whatsoever. This will come back later—just like Black Jack does at Versailles in S2E05 “Untimely Resurrection” after supposedly being dead from a cattle stampede at Wentworth Prison. Awesome, right? Like me, our favorite randy Redcoat is tough to kill.

Given all this and my general level of immersion in all forms of Outlander canon, once I finally could make the time to give Rowan’s video essay my full attention (more on that below) I found myself going from pumping my fist to shaking my head. I knew I’d have to say something in response. That I would need to address the Republic and set the record accurate if certainly not straight.

Initially I thought about doing a brief reblog commentary noting that although the analysis in the video gets several things quite twisted about Randall, these are understandable omissions considering Rowan does not position herself as having intensive expertise on Outlander canon. But then I started thinking about Rowan’s stated purpose in making the video. The sorts of deeper analysis and nuances that, as Rowan herself points out in her own ways, often get missed with intent in considering the actions of queer villains who are specifically bisexual and sadistic.

And as a bisexual sadist who has frequently encountered the framing of my own sexuality as an automatic threat even by other queer people who otherwise support kink practice I knew it could enhance the positive impact of the original video essay to provide some detailed commentary. Broader systemic issues that Rowan references herself can make it altogether too easy to reproduce the same harms one looks to dismantle. Black Jack Randall is a fictional guy in a fictional world. Yet how the non-fictional world views people like Black Jack—and especially people brought to those dark places in their own minds and actions by their familiar cycles of abuse—matters tremendously to me. Not because I’ve gone down his path myself, but because I understand the stakes of not going down his path.

One thing about me is I would rather pull out what remains of my natural dentition with pliers than take no action when I know I can do something uniquely impactful in addressing that passive reproduction of harm to our community, which very much is our community as both bisexual and asexual creators. In the interest of directly unpacking harmful stereotypes about bisexual sadists, building on the video essay’s overall spotlighting of queer villains and some of the specific ways biphobia factors into those characterizations and storylines, I’m taking this deepest of dives. Doing more. Because it’s my brand, certainly. But moreover because it’s my duty.

As blazingly gay Will Tavington so eloquently stated in The Patriot amid some premium sinister flirting with his enemy Ben Martin: It’s an ugly business doing one’s duty. But sometimes, it’s a real pleasure.

So here, point by point from my own manual transcription of Rowan’s comments—using both the audio and captions for the video to ensure full accuracy, y’all know both my style and my propensity for em dashes—I give you a detailed analysis of the analysis. If you’re envisioning me gesturing wildly at a tangled yarn map like the Pepe Silvia conspiracy theory one from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia then you’ve got the measure of things entirely. Much more this energy here than the XKCD angle of Someone is wrong on the Internet. Indeed, I’d say Rowan is very right on the Internet to open this dialogue and provide folks who’ve made this depth of engagement with various characters referenced in this video the opportunity to build on her own insights.

But “duty calls” nonetheless! Happy Culloden Day to all ye Randallites near and far. Have fun and try not to get disemboweled too much.

Across the seven seasons of Outlander, a drama about a World War II nurse who travels back to 1740s Scotland—I know, don’t question it—perhaps the most loathed character amongst the show’s many villains is Captain Jonathan Randall.

The phrasing here made me reflect with sorrow on how that same premise of time travel elements automatically making something not worthwhile for reasons of implausibility—and thus perceived frivolity—has often made others pass on exploring Outlander at all. It also made me wonder, as many other things in the video essay continue to do, if perhaps the commentary draws on familiarity with only the first season of the show despite Black Jack’s storyline extending into the third season in live action and beyond that in impact. That would seem a lost opportunity considering the depth of analysis of other canons like Interview with the Vampire and Hazbin Hotel here. Both of which I highly recommend for folks who’ve not yet had the pleasure!

I also noted how the video essay makes no mention whatsoever of Randall’s canonical nickname of “Black Jack” anywhere, which seems strange given what a major plot point this becomes right from the start in S1E01 “Sassenach”. I see this as a missed opportunity to get into some of the basic nuances here about his sadism, which itself only gets mentioned minimally despite the surrounding context. The video essay sets Randall up as a sadist with the framing of this segment but then doesn’t really connect those dots. I’ve done that for y’all before with my “Red Black and Shades of Gray” meta comparing sadism themes in Outlander and The Patriot canons, which contrasts the former’s frequent depiction of sexual interest in actions causing intentional pain in Black Jack Randall’s actions with the latter’s depiction of strategic interest in actions producing incidental pain in Will Tavington’s.

Speaking of the Outlander and The Patriot contrast between the canons’ respective evil Redcoat characters, I had some notes jotted down in the background of my various in-progress BJR fics that explores canonical nicknames for Randall and Tavington and what these monikers lampshade about their respective characterizations. I also had another meta in much more primal stages of development exploring rape themes in both canons and the nuances of how sexual violence gets invoked in storylines featuring Randall and Tavington. That phrasing is very deliberate for good reason; Will Tavington doesn’t rape anyone. And Randall’s own sexual violence doesn’t play out remotely the way one might think from watching this video. Apropos of this, I had another meta envisioned about homosociality in Outlander and how Randall’s bisexuality makes him an outcast among straight and queer characters alike—inspired of course by a dear mutual exploring similar themes with Tavington in The Patriot canon.

In the first of what became many drafts of this Very Long Essay, I said “it will probably be quite some time until I get any of these finished” and then spent a few days turning that over in my head. Indeed, the process of drafting this piece to encourage readers to peek behind the curtain of Black Jack Randall’s life has necessarily involved some deeper reflection on things behind the curtain of my own life. Including how I still—at 40 unlikely years old and counting—often do things out of feelings of obligation rather than genuine desire.

Did I mention I’m a rape survivor? And that I couldn’t possibly count how many times I’ve let someone take dozens of “no” signals as a “yes” because of what it would cost me to refuse? It’s okay to enjoy certain aspects of fandom casually. Even if one isn’t already doing tons of other activity that’s anything but casual. Let yourself enjoy things. This world robs us of so much joy even when we try with all our might to protect it, to hold onto it. I am begging all of you to let yourself enjoy things before it’s too late. To do what Randall didn’t in canon—to live, and to stop willfully breaking his own heart.

If you read my blog, you know that this year has been an absolute hellscape on many fronts and that I am constantly slammed with even more of a professional overload than usual while dealing with A Lot in both the mental and physical health domains. And I generally publish at least one novella-length transformative work for Outlander each month on top of that. As a good friend put it: If I had a full-time job and had the energy to volunteer on top of that, I don’t think I’d ever write. I do what I do not because it is good for me, but because I am certifiably insane. This is not hyperbole or satire. I easily qualify for the designation per the DSM. Which has faults in spades and I’m not endorsing in the slightest, mind. My point is that I write not because I have the time or the energy to spare, but rather because if I do not write I will feel as if I cannot breathe. Why? Asked and answered.

So, a note for the good of the order: I can wait a long, long time before I write another fandom essay. This is a Sisters of Mercy reference, because of course it is. I’m writing this response to the video essay instead of finishing development on the fic I otherwise could probably have released for the Battle of Culloden anniversary on April 16. Ideally I would have done both, wouldn’t I? In addition to already releasing the prior installment of that continuity on April 13 no less! Perhaps if I’d just tried harder I could’ve given you two different lengthy writings in honor of the specific day. Or at least released something else on AO3 for April without waiting until the last minute like a slacker.

That’s the kind of thinking that made me stop sleeping entirely and wind up having a complete breakdown both mentally and physically. For those who are new around here, this is an even worse idea for me than it is for most humans because of a progressive genetic disease that kills people on the regular even when they do sleep and eat adequately and generally show compassion for themselves.

Accordingly, that sort of thinking about my own self-worth as anything other than an ATM for other people’s consumption of output is also what made me complete a PhD in literally two years while working full-time and being actively in the process of dying from my disease. I got on a medication that saved my lungs and my life just over a year after defending my dissertation. It’s taken another decade to learn the lesson I should have learned back then. How did Annie Lennox put it? Dying is easy; it's living that scares me. Paging Black Jack Randall—because if that isn’t the absolute biggest Culloden energy I don’t know what is.

It is amazing and terrible what sadism can do when turned inward on a person. The original video essay I’m responding to here never quite got around to how masterfully Randall’s character spotlights this pattern in several ways. Because the video is much broader by design than it is deep, and thus does not allow for more thorough engagement of the source material in commenting on Black Jack’s character, a lot of the same tropes the video essay aims to unpack could get repackaged with new hats instead without these additional details. So in the interest of not sending people who aren’t bisexual sadists to do bisexual sadists’ jobs, I’m giving y’all the goods.

As a British captain in an occupied Scotland, Randall radiates pure villainy.

Does he? I’m not so sure at all. First, see here for details focused closely on Outlander itself. Second, see here for use of Black Jack’s storylines in Outlander as examples of a larger trope. Search both of those pages for “Even Evil Has Loved Ones” using your browser’s Find function and you’ll get some telling material. Catch that reference to the Duke of Sandringham and Mary Hawkins in the second link, did you? We’ll get to those in time. Oh, how we will get to those.

The complete lack of mention of Season 2 and especially the iconic BJR episode near the end makes this oversight unsurprising. I think touching on that content just briefly would have supported Rowan’s overall purpose in making the initial video. At the same time, I’m guessing that stimulating nuanced and enduring dialogue about queer villains is the most important aim of the original essay! Indeed, S2E12 “The Hail Mary” represents the absolute pinnacle of my plunge into permanent derangement about Randall for reasons likely obvious considering everything I’ve already shared about my own backstory in the process of waxing loquacious to fill in additional canonical details that didn’t feature in the referenced video essay here.

I promised that the notes about my own sexual proclivities would come back, did I not? As BJR is canonically known for doing, I always keep my word. Not hyperbole in the slightest for either of us. On Black Jack’s end this gets referenced explicitly by Claire in Book 2 / Dragonfly in Amber when she is helping Randall care for his dying brother Alex. It also gets demonstrated consistently by other characters and Randall himself throughout his storylines in both Season 1 and Season 2 of the show.

So indeed, oneof the things I find most resonant about Black Jack is that he leans into whatever the other person in an encounter is giving him and bases his own behavior on that. This is made quite clear on the show in numerous ways—and arguably even clearer in the source novels by Diana Gabaldon, wherein we learn from Book 1 / Outlander that Black Jack frequently has trysts with domestic employees in the Scottish countryside.

Many people find Black Jack charming and handsome, to the point that he has a drawer full of perfume-scented love letters in his office at Fort William. Hilarious comic relief because he’d clearly have no reason for keeping those around other than masturbation fodder. Those of you who’ve circulated that meme about jerking off face down on the bed with the #black jack randall tag applied are entirely understanding the assignment.

For all the times he’s sexually assaulted someone—which seems to be countable on one hand for any person who isn’t Jamie himself, and near zero for anyone who isn’t associated with Jamie Fraser in some way—Randall has clearly had plenty of consensual sex with people who are not only willing but also entirely enthusiastic to get in his breeches. In the books we also learn about some rumors surrounding another prisoner named Alex MacGregor. These are never confirmed and it’s unclear even from the rumors themselves what the exact nature of Black Jack’s relationship with MacGregor was.

Why is this so important to highlight in analysis of queer villains? Here I go again quoting Carmen Maria Machado as I have before in both fic and commentary and surely will again: The world is full of hurt people who hurt people. Even if the dominant culture considers you an anomaly, that doesn’t mean you can’t be common, common as fucking dirt. This, friends, is the thesis of Black Jack Randall.

He shows little to no redeeming qualities, offers no sympathetic backstory to why he acts the way he does, and appears purely to have been driven by rage and violent pleasure.

Oh my. I’m going to leave S2E05 “Untimely Resurrection” and S2E12 “The Hail Mary” alone for the moment. But even in S1E06 “The Garrison Commander” and S1E15 “Wentworth Prison” we start to get some light shed on what Randall is really doing in Scotland. We learn by degrees later just how much his reasons for being there belie what we see on the surface. This gets expanded on in the books where the reveal on Randall’s benefactor the Duke of Sandringham being a secret Jacobite is much more detailed. But even on the show, we learn by S2E11 “Vengeance Is Mine” that Sandringham got outed as a suspected traitor to the Crown.

Goodness knows he's been outed as gay from the start to everyone but Claire, who didn’t learn this until much later after making the initial blunder of falling for Black Jack’s gambit about Sandringham having a wife. Not that this would have stopped him from being gay, of course. So-called “lavender marriage” was indeed relatively commonplace—and remains so now in some communities—both generally and in Outlander specifically. I’ll cover that in detail when we get to the points about Lord John Grey below. Notably for now, Sandringham rather than Randall himself is much more centered in a villain role in Season 2. And apropos of other content here, he absolutely doesn’t qualify for tropes about redeeming qualities. The extent of his monstrosity gets revealed in that same episode near the end of Season 2 when it comes to light that he ordered his valet Albert Danton to attack and rape his own goddaughter Mary Hawkins in an alleyway in Paris.

Even early in the series it thus seems difficult to consider Black Jack the most loathsome villain in Outlander. We’ll get to Mary in earnest—and the extreme tenderness with which Black Jack always treats her from their first meeting until his death at Culloden Moore—as we go along. For now, remember what Claire learned about Black Jack’s fate all the way back in S1E01 “Sassenach” where she and her husband Frank Randall were looking into his family genealogy in the Reverend Reginald Wakefield’s office at Inverness during their long-belated honeymoon. Some details missing there certainly, which only get revealed by degrees in Season 2. Black Jack really is Frank’s 5x great-grandfather though; he’s just not his only 5x great-grandfather.

I should probably mention here that I’m donor conceived and that I wasn’t told the truth… No, that’s putting it too kindly. I did note that I’ve always been quite dedicated to seeing the good in people who do bad deeds, and to working tirelessly to bring it out. But enough is enough. My parents lied to my face for 18 years about my ancestry. I asked them point-blank about it several times and they still told me lies. I finally got the truth out of my mother on a balcony overlooking an olive grove halfway around the world. The bus ride to get back to the nearest city and the airport were the longest four hours of my life. I never traveled with them again. And the hole inside of me never fully closed, and never will.

This too will resurface when I get to the content about Mary Hawkins and her marriage to Black Jack. I’m getting there, I promise. As my spouse once put it: I knew you were going to land the plane.

Getting back to early portions of Outlander canon and what we learn about Black Jack in Season 1 though, there’s also the iconic S1E08 “Both Sides Now” extended scene in which Black Jack gives Claire his own perspective on what he’s doing in Scotland in the first place and how distasteful he finds his work. How badly he wishes he could just go home and be warm and take a bath. How little he cares about the outcome of the conflict and how futile he feels it all is. We already know from a couple episodes prior that he loathes both the British aristocracy and his own superiors in the Army, who treat him like he’s lower than the dirt he then passive-aggressively shakes out all over their wardroom at Brockton. Including and especially his commanding officer Lord Thomas, a general who’s about as flamingly gay-coded as Will Tavington in The Patriot.

Oh, and speaking of being driven only by violent pleasure that is entirely incorrect—S2E02 “Not in Scotland Anymore” alone makes this perfectly clear. I’ve previously covered the finer details about Black Jack bottoming enthusiastically, and also enjoying gentler sexual experiences as well as rougher ones.

Black Jack’s interactions with Jenny in her flashbacks from S1E12 “Lallybroch” also shed light on this; once she goes inside the house with him, he only touches her with gentle curiosity until she bashes him over the head with a heavy object. Even then, he responds by…tossing her onto to the bed and getting partially undressed. When she starts laughing at him because he can’t get an erection (a telling piece of evidence of how Black Jack ultimately loses interest in sex if the other person doesn’t want it to at least some degree, or feel strong emotions about it that they’re willing to show) he panics and conks her head against the bedpost so he can flee without it being obvious that she chased him off.

Then there’s also the prior content from Book 1 / Outlander about the scented letters and the maids, some of which also comes back in Book 8 / Written in My Own Heart’s Blood when Roger Wakefield goes looking for Black Jack at Fort William after time traveling to 1739 a couple of weeks after Randall’s installation as commander there. I’ll come back to that a bit later given how much that scene reveals about Randall’s character and his reasons for being in Scotland.

And most of all, his villainy is compounded by the fact that he will rape, torture, and murder men and women alike—an equal opportunity monster.

Correct in essentials on the first two items as I cover elsewhere. Not so much on the third, though! In fact, the TV adaptation clarifies this beyond the information we get in the books. Whereas Book 1 / Outlander features murky rumors about Randall possibly killing one of his own soldiers at Fort William so he can pin the murder on Jamie, show canon makes little of this and indeed offers several opportunities to see Black Jack deliberately not killing people who attack him.

Nowhere is this clearer than in the final episode where he appears, S3E01 “The Battle Joined”. In that Culloden-centric episode, we watch Randall get fully pulled from his horse by a group of Scots warriors who then proceed to attack him. Up to that point Black Jack has just been shooing people away from his horse by swinging his cavalry saber in the air. Once on the ground, he basically just elbows his way out of the cluster of Jacobite soldiers and makes a beeline for Jamie instead.

Then of course there’s also Black Jack’s aggrieved, hesitant behavior at Wentworth Prison in S1E16 “To Ransom a Man’s Soul” right before the cows show up to give him the business. Although Randall is well known for keeping his word, even by people who despise him absolutely, he looks defeated and anxious when Jamie reminds him that he owes him the debt of taking his life ahead of the gallows in exchange for finally “[making] free of [his] body” (see S2E02 “Castle Leoch”) in the night. Jack takes out a dagger and sort of swings it around idly—with a look on his face that can only be described as “Really?” Any playfulness remaining there seems to come from Black Jack eyeing Jamie’s nude body and thinking about what else he might do with the blade besides killing him.

Randall has a zero kill count onscreen in the television show. I’d be remiss not to note here how this places him behind even his own eventual wife Mary Hawkins, often heralded quite accurately as one of the characters in Outlander who comes closest to embodying pure goodness. But of course, the trauma of sexual violence can twist a person’s mind horribly. I might know just a little about this myself. And it only takes one experience, more so given the horrifying context outlined in S2E11 “Vengeance Is Mine”. Like anyone else, Mary has the capacity for brutal violence herself if pushed sufficiently far. I consider it something of a miracle I never went that route myself considering my own experiences can scarcely even be counted in any meaningful way. I can only think in terms of years. Seven of them whose shadows will never fully retract. When I say Black Jack and Mary were a perfectly arranged marriage, it isn’t for nothing.

We’ll get to her in earnest, I promise! Of course, I’ve already covered that ground in fiction before.

Randall makes his monstrous mark on Season 1 by sexually assaulting both of the show’s protagonists, Claire and Jamie.

Correct in essentials, but potentially a false equivalence. I’m not sure how much the video essay was intended to set the assaults on Jamie and Claire up as direct mirrors of one another. There is however a common thread here worth pulling out: How in Season 1 Black Jack only goes through with assaulting people who show at least some sexual interest in him.

Randall assaults three people in Season 1 overall: Claire in S1E01 “Sassenach” and S1E08 “Both Sides Now”; Jenny in flashbacks from S1E02 “Castle Leoch” and S1E12 “Lallybroch”; and Jamie in S1E15 “Wentworth Prison” and S1E16 “To Ransom a Man’s Soul”. He also propositions Claire and Jamie together in S1E09 “The Reckoning” in an echo of propositioning Jamie individually in the S1E02 “Castle Leoch” flashback. But of the three people he assaults, only two respond with any sustained evidence of interest amid their anger and indignation.

The hateful attraction Jamie feels for Black Jack has been flogged—to borrow Frank’s phrasing about press coverage of Claire’s mysterious disappearance and return from S2E01 “Through a Glass, Darkly”—almost as badly as the man’s own back by this point. So I won’t belabor that here except to say it’s entirely nonrandom that Jamie keeps enticing Black Jack into further conflict after recovering from the brutal assaults at Wentworth and discovering Randall alive in Paris. He’s still having horny nightmares over two decades later about everything from weird group therapy scenarios with shamans on misty mountains (not hyperbole, see Book 6 / A Breath of Snow and Ashes for the goods) to fighting a totally naked Black Jack at Culloden and winding up covered in his “hot, hot blood” while they lie on the ground in a clinch (see Book 9 / Go Tell the Bees That I Am Gone for that especially choice sequence) and exhausting Claire’s patience so badly in rehashing these that he eventually resorts to rambling about the dreams to Jenny instead.

What doesn’t tend to come out as much in analysis of the TV series is the key plot point from Book 1 / Outlander that Claire feels attracted to Black Jack because of his resemblance to Frank. Not just in appearance, but also in certain mannerisms and pleasures—see the shaving scene from S1E06 “The Garrison Commander” and Claire’s flashbacks to shaving Frank thusly with the very same razor, for example. Little surprise then how in Book 1 / Outlander she specifically mentions feeling “compelled to open [her] legs for him” when he ties her hands behind her back at Fort William in the equivalent sequence to later portions of S1E08 “Both Sides Now”.

By her own admission this latent attraction-by-association does not wane entirely until after she and her friends rescue Jamie from Wentworth Prison at the end of Season 1. After that point, things go the other way. Although Claire spends Season 2 in an odd state of détente with Black Jack himself, even after the events of S2E07 “Faith” for which neither she nor Jamie explicitly blame Jack, she initially feels afraid of Frank when she reconnects with him back in the 20th Century as seen in S2E01 “Through a Glass, Darkly”. Why mention this here? That fear only subsides when Claire sees how much Frank treasures being a father to Brianna, the child she conceived with Jamie before going back through the stones to her own time. Indeed, later installments of the book series also show Claire deliberately striving for accuracy in her remembrances of both Frank and Black Jack as complicated men who were capable of deep love.

Scuffling is also arousing for Black Jack. Although the shaving scene demonstrates that this isn’t the only sort of physical pleasure he enjoys, he certainly gets a kick out of it regardless. So Claire’s willingness to scrap with him—including when she literally gives him a kick to the testicles with her knee in S1E01 “Sassenach” after he pins her to the ground in the forest—heightens the arousal and feels like play to him. Contrast this with Jenny’s incredulous laughter and complete unwillingness to take the fight further after hitting him over the head with a blunt object to get him to back off.

Does this take any of Randall’s actions out of the territory of assault? Nope. But it does provide a context to his motivations. Although his means of seeking affection are entirely warped, at the end of the day Black Jack really is after human connection. I’m entirely in agreement with other Outlander fans who’ve mentioned wanting a companion series about the Randall family. I have my own ideas about that history that I’ve referenced in transformative works. I would also love to see Gabaldon’s own perspective on what damaged Black Jack’s psyche so badly.

Finally, Randall’s treatment of women often differs from his treatment of men just in general. By his own admission in S1E06 “The Garrison Commander” he is “not a casual person with women” usually. He says this while expressing regret for how he treated Claire in the woods outside Craigh Na Dun. Which is very genuine per his actor’s own comments about playing the character; Tobias Menzies has mentioned in interviews that Black Jack always believes whatever he’s saying fully in the moment.

Something to note about Black Jack in general is that he will express regret and then claim he doesn’t feel it. This is probably quite accurate considering Jack shows a lot of signs of dissociation and may not feel much of anything most of the time. We see an example of this simultaneous expression and negation of regret in S2E12 “The Hail Mary” during the sequence at the tavern. And although the meaning of Randall’s comment about not being casual initially seems ambiguous, we get the reveal on it entirely in that same episode via the dynamic between Black Jack and Mary Hawkins. He takes her well-being and her safety so seriously that he’d rather die than risk any chance of hurting her.

Of course, his brandy-soaked mind isn’t realizing that she’ll get hurt far worse if he does die. We see enough in both book and show canon to understand how Black Jack treated Mary in life. Even that single moment where he enters the room at the boarding house says a lot; his entire face lights in a genuine smile that reaches his eyes as soon as she looks at him. The interactions between the two of them are some of the most delicate and tender moments of the entire season.

These sequences also provide some context for the different handling of the moments after Alex’s death. In the Book 2 / Dragonfly in Amber version of this sequence Black Jack is crying and so drunk he can barely stand, whereas in episode S2E12 “The Hail Mary” he’s more lucid and vacillates between catatonic silence and a harrowing moment of punching his brother’s cadaver. Calls back to Claire’s comment in S1E02 “Castle Leoch” about how “there’s no joy in flogging a dead man” because of course this wasn’t about joy. Black Jack is entirely devastated, both for himself and for Mary. And although Mary herself looks pained at seeing this unfold, and clings to Claire in response, she looks more heartbroken than afraid. Her depth of emotion in that moment contrasts clearly with her apathy at gazing upon Danton’s dead body and Sandringham’s decapitated corpse back at his Bellhurst Manor estate (or Belmont House depending on which version of canon one consults) in the previous episode.

Finally and perhaps relatedly, I should spotlight Black Jack’s “I choose the whore” comment from S1E01 “Sassenach” about his own taste in women. Although part of an ironic commentary on the juxtaposition of Claire’s accent and vocabulary with her ample use of profanity, this also tells us a fair amount about Randall’s overall attitudes toward class. We learn in other portions of canon such as S2E06 “Best Laid Schemes” and various sequences in the first two books that Randall visits sex workers and that there aren’t lurid rumors swirling around about his treatment of feminine prostitutes. Black Jack’s sexual antagonism toward other men is more intense by design.

Randall’s queerness is a weapon that he wields indiscriminately.

Not really. That would be his dick. Randall generally doesn’t go through with assaulting people who don’t show any sexual interest during the initial scuffle. In fact, he can’t even get aroused physically when the other person isn’t fighting him in a horny way. Even when the person is somewhat horny it still doesn’t work for Randall unless their level of arousal is high. We see this with the assault on Claire during S1E08 “Both Sides Now” and especially in the equivalent scene from Book 1 / Outlander.

The only exception to this is an assault that happens during Season 2—which definitely seems like a missed opportunity to mention in direct parallel to the reference to preying on children in Rowan’s analysis of Lestat from Interview with the Vampire. During the S2E06 “Best Laid Schemes” chronology later revealed in full during S2E07 “Faith” Randall assaults Claudel, a boy who either pickpockets or works (depending on whether one goes with the show or book version of the canon backstory) at the Maison Élise brothel in Paris.

On the show it’s clear that he does this specifically to get Jamie to fight him; he knows Jamie is on the premises collecting debts and that Claudel has been walking around with him. Sure enough, upon hearing Claudel scream Jamie comes bursting into the room, hauls Black Jack into the hallway, and proceeds to beat the daylights out of him. The look of delight on Randall’s face at seeing him appear and subsequently getting pummeled by him leaves little doubt as to his objective in assaulting Claudel.

In Book 2 / Dragonfly in Amber the timing and particulars of this storyline differ substantially. But as in the show, Randall is canonically an alcoholic and gets progressively deeper into his cups throughout the Paris storyline and his brother’s subsequent health decline. At the brothel he’s so drunk he doesn’t know where he is, what is going on around him, or even seem to remember who he is. Given the greater development of intrigue in the books surrounding whether Randall had a sexual relationship with his younger brother Alex, it seems likely that the angle here is Black Jack somehow seeking Alex in a person who reminds him of his brother during his early adolescent years.

No one is safe.

Aren’t they? Here we go, then. Time for some detailed Mary Hawkins content at long last.

The basics: We learn all the way back in S1E01 “Sassenach” and equivalent sequences from Book 1 / Outlander that before dying at the Battle of Culloden, Black Jack Randall married someone named Mary Hawkins and that she later gave birth to a son named Denys. Claire encounters Mary Hawkins for the first time in France in S2E02 “Not in Scotland Anymore” and grows closer to her while having the vague sense that she knows that name from somewhere. It isn’t until learning in S2E03 “Useful Occupations and Deceptions” that Black Jack himself is still alive that Claire realizes where she’s seen Mary’s name before: Frank’s family bible during a meeting with the Reverend Wakefield.

At first glance, Mary is everything one wouldn’t expect in someone who’d eventually marry Black Jack—or at least Claire thinks so. She feels completely befuddled by how someone who seems so meek and timid could possibly end up with someone like Black Jack. This becomes all the more confusing for Claire in S2E04 “La Dame Blanche” when Mary is getting involved with Jack’s younger brother Alex, a curate who has accompanied his employer the Duke of Sandringham to Paris. After Claire and Mary are attacked in an alleyway at Sandringham’s behest, resulting in Mary getting raped by a mysterious assailant later revealed to be the Duke’s own valet Albert Danton, Alex cares for her—and then gets locked in the Bastille for his trouble. Claire wrestles with her conscience about whether to get Alex freed given her own knowledge of how Black Jack and Mary are supposed to wind up together if Frank is ever to be born at all.

Leave it having half the information resulting in getting things half right, as often happens in Outlander and in life alike.

Mary has been leveling up her confidence throughout Season 2 and corresponding portions of Book 2 / Dragonfly in Amber while growing closer to both Claire and Alex. We don’t see onscreen how her social relationship with Black Jack himself evolves once he arrives in Paris—but in the TV series the two clearly know one another well already when Jack shows up at the boarding house in S2E12 “The Hail Mary”. In book canon the different pacing of events puts Black Jack’s wedding to Mary and Alex’s death earlier in the year, leaving a couple months until the Battle of Culloden. On the show Black Jack and Mary are only married for three days but have substantially more history with one another prior to their wedding. Blending the canons offers a portrait of two people uniquely poised to understand each other, united through their shared love of Alex but also oddly well matched on several other fronts.

Have I freeze-framed those sequences of S2E12 “The Hail Mary” that feature Mary and Black Jack interacting? Yes. Several times. Highly recommended for anyone who wants to plummet into that sort of derangement.

For the rest of you fine folk, the cocktail napkin summary here is that Mary represents both the shining gentleness that Black Jack so prizes in his younger brother—and I’d encourage anyone who still thinks of him as a Complete Monster to consider how Alex turned out so well in the first place given Jack is documented as the only member of their family who’s taken responsibility for his well-being—and the capacity for ruthless violence that Black Jack repeatedly points out in himself.

Here I should mention though that Black Jack remains as dedicated to veracity in this as in anything else. When he says “I dwell in darkness, madam—and darkness is where I belong” to Claire at Brockton in S1E06 “The Garrison Commander” he’s saying this as much to convince himself as to convince her. Ditto his comments to her at the tavern, most of all the haunting question: “Do you really want Mary in my bed?” Where exactly would she be safer than with someone who has consistently treated her like gold, who looks at her as if the sun shines directly from her face, and who would move mountains to honor his beloved brother’s wishes? And wouldn’t Captain Zero Kill Count also understand well from Mary’s own history what would happen to him if he were to lay so much as an unwanted finger on her? She killed a practical stranger in all but cold blood with a triumphant hiss of satisfaction!

Badass, by the way. Judging by his responses to Claire throughout the series—see his comments in S1E15 “Wentworth Prison” describing Claire as “no coward” and “a fit match for [her] husband” for example—I suspect Black Jack agreed. He even said explicitly in the same episode that he “cannot give [Claire] a better compliment than that” regarding her bravery and nerve mirroring Jamie’s own. I imagine quite a bit is happening behind those hazel eyes (described by Claire oftentimes as cold but noted distinctly by Roger in Book 8 / Written in My Own Heart’s Blood as being warm) whenever Black Jack looks at Mary.

Especially because Mary herself got Randall’s own abuser offed via Murtagh Fraser keeping a promise of his own in S2E11 “Vengeance Is Mine” by following up Mary’s own dagger-assisted disposal of Danton with an axe swing to Sandringham’s neck. Consider one of the only things Black Jack tells us verbatim about his life offscreen: In S1E06 “The Garrison Commander” a visibly shaken Randall tells Claire about finding Private McGreevey beheaded a couple weeks prior. By contrast, Mary regards her own godfather’s headless corpse with a shrug and says “I think we’d better go” in a matter-of-fact tone. Mary, all of 16 years old at the time, has no combat experience whatsoever and keeps her cool about this absolutely. Quite an evolution even from earlier in the same episode when she questions her ability to assist Claire in communicating with Hugh Munro just outside to help Murtagh and Jamie sneak into the Duke’s house.

Our girl comes through in the end—right before we watch the steel in her spine break through in earnest as she picks up a dagger from a table full of food and ends her rapist’s life after the reveal of this being the same man who attacked her in Paris. And she doesn’t lose her nerve after the immediate danger has passed, either. When we next encounter her at Inverness in S2E12 “The Hail Mary” she’s bullying a pharmacist into giving her more laudanum to ease Alex’s coughing and pain as his illness progresses. Then when Claire recognizes her and says hello, Mary immediately lights into her for conspiring to keep her and Alex apart.

I’ll note that as a person with progressive lung disease myself, I really appreciated Mary’s ire here. However strategic and born of understandable fears that Frank would never get to live, Claire’s invocation earlier in Season 2 of the tired old idea that chronically ill people make undesirable partners—that we can only take from the world and never give—rings both hollow and sour. After all, I’ve been there before. And in many ways I’m still scrambling frantically to escape the shadow of those ideas. To quote my spouse again: You never stop running until long after the demons finally stop chasing you.

I admire Mary Hawkins because she knew when to run—and moreover, because she knew when to stop running and bring the man who chased her in the first place down in sniveling puddle with a knife through his kidney. “It’s messy,” Black Jack said back in S1E15 “Wentworth Prison” of killing people with daggers. But the visceral impact there—exact words and no mistake—never fails to feel any less relatable for me, considering my own experiences.

Here’s the other thing: People came to save Mary Hawkins. When she needed help, people showed up. She killed her own rapist but she had an audience and she had backup. Murtagh demonstrated how seriously he took the promise to avenge Mary if he ever found out who was responsible for the attacks on her and Claire. Black Jack took showing up in Paris to help Alex earlier in Season 2 with similar gravity. In Book 2 / Dragonfly in Amber Claire specifically reflects on how “Jack Randall was a gentleman” with all his promises, and has never given anyone reason to doubt his word despite being awful in many other ways. The fact that Black Jack chose to keep his vows to Mary by caving to the self-loathing fear of being able to love her better by dying and leaving her and Denys his pension than by living and showing her the same fierce devotion he showed Alex doesn’t negate the seriousness of those promises in his mind.

Again exact words there regarding love as action. I’m certain from her own subsequent sharing about Black Jack to their son that Mary would have appreciated both the devotion and the ferocity. And likewise, that Jack himself already appreciated Mary’s own variety of darkness and the specifics of how it manifested after first taking root.

In that spirit I highly recommend visiting the Outlander Wiki page about Mary for additional specifics on her background and character arc. Don’t sleep on the pictures if you do venture over there, especially the ones featuring her looking deep in thought while wearing an elaborate silk gown. That’s not the face of an innocent little lamb with no capacity for brutality of her own. And even prior to her rape, Mary often manipulates people to get what she wants by pouting and playing coy. Which of course tracks—Siri, play “Rich Girl” by Hall and Oates! See also my reblog commentary on a dear mutual’s wonderful art envisioning Black Jack and Mary in a happier timeline.

TL;DR: Mary has a lot of steel in her spine. But it doesn’t save her from additional tribulations. Indeed, those further struggles wind up serving as evidence of Black Jack’s own character and how he treated her himself during their brief marriage prior to his death.

I don’t tend to cry over media. But I absolutely teared up reading Denys Randall’s words about Black Jack in Book 9 / Go Tell the Bees That I Am Gone. Denys is Black Jack’s son who—true to the expanded version in Book 1 / Outlander of the prophecy Claire whispers into Randall’s ear in S1E15 “Wentworth Prison”—never got to meet him because he died in battle. I won’t go into this in detail just here, but that book resoundingly refutes the idea that Black Jack ever treated his family like anything other than gold.

Even in Book 2 / Dragonfly in Amber he speaks with grace and understanding about his older brother Edward, the family heir who is stingy and neglectful and married to a person who clearly and openly hates Black Jack for being queer. In that later book though, we learn how Black Jack actually treated Mary and how carefully he made sure that Denys would always be taken care of financially even if something happened to Mary later on and the income from her widow’s pension was lost. He specifically set aside money for Denys to buy a commission in the Army—or to get an education if he had been considered female, so that he wouldn’t wind up trapped in a loveless marriage for the sake of survival.

The contrast Denys then draws with how Mary’s second husband Robert Isaacs—who was very materially wealthy and very kind to Denys but not a loving spouse—gave me chills. Yeah, Mary Hawkins did get abused by one of her husbands. Just not Black Jack Randall. The clarity with which Book 9 / Go Tell the Bees That I Am Gone shows how much better off Mary would have been socially and emotionally if Black Jack had survived to raise Denys with her wrecked me and still does.

I was and am lucky to have an amazing dad. The lies he and my mother told are wholly understandable stains on the records of two people who have always done their best in an absolutely garbage world that thinks very little of fathers who do not sire their children. And I know some of the members of the sperm donor’s family as well, though not my biological father himself. They’re pretty cool people too. One of my great-cousins on that side said he’d be proud to have been my biological father if he too had chosen to donate to that research study. I did cry then. I’ll never forget opening that letter with my hands shaking while I sat on the stoop of my old house. I can’t impress enough on those of you who are direct genetic descendants of both your parents what that meant to me. I can’t tell you how it feels to look in the mirror and always see a huge question mark. To miss a person you’ve never met, to feel them there like the phantom sensation from an amputated body part.

Denys Randall understands that entirely. And as much as Alex clearly loved his son in life and death alike, we come away from that storyline knowing just how thoroughly Black Jack was a real father to Denys. We also learn how Mary keeps his memory alive and still carries a torch for him as she also continues to mourn Alex. Knowing how much she withdrew into herself haunts me. I keep fixing it in my fics. There will never be a story of mine where Mary isn’t loved and cherished—no matter how much trauma she goes through.

Which also seems to have been Black Jack’s philosophy about both her and Denys. Tragically if quite understandably, he deluded himself into thinking he could love them better in death than in life. The reveal in Book 9 / Go Tell the Bees That I Am Gone on just how tragic a choice this wound up being still crushes me. Because it’s such a hopeless lesson, isn’t it? The idea that cycles of abuse and violence can only be broken by meeting a gruesome end oneself. That humanity has no hope for redemption. That rapists can only ever be rapists, nothing else. Even if they were clearly many other things all along.

This is, incidentally, why as much as I enjoy exploring continuities in which the specific canonical unfolding of events from Wentworth Prison gets averted to at least some degree, I have more active continuities in which this does not happen. I even retconned one of my older stories somewhat because I realized that for the rest of the continuity to play out as I envisioned it, and fully develop the ideas I wanted to develop, straying more than a hair from the exact canonical take in the initial arc didn’t make sense. The results from that deeper thinking are what I just dropped this past Saturday in observance of Alex Randall’s death anniversary. Among my published stories, I presently have three continuities that feature some aversion of the canonical Wentworth sexual assaults and three others that feature no aversion whatsoever.

Someone once asked me if I thought Black Jack and Jamie could ever have a healthy relationship after what happened at the prison in canon. It certainly seems unlikely. But fiction isn’t exclusively about showing healthy relationships. To me, it’s about showing relationships that make sense for the story being told. And in that regard, I do explore the strange intimacy that sometimes grows between trauma bonded people. After all, it’s a tale I’ve come to know well. One I’ve written in my own life. One I’m arguably still writing.

I cannot bring myself to swallow whatever poisonous purity philosophy would lead me to believe that people who have sexually assaulted others in the past cannot have consensual sexual relationships as well. I also can’t ignore the considerable data I’ve amassed on this from direct personal experience.

If people cannot change, what are any of us even doing here? Why not just give up the ghost of life on a burning planet—leave the indignities and hurts of corporeality behind forever? That sort of thinking seems more bleak than anything Black Jack Randall could possibly say or do. Indeed, him winding up looking at his own choices that way in the end broke two hearts irrevocably. And that’s a charitable estimate. Jamie’s own haunting memories, vivid dreams, and enduring obsessions about Black Jack throughout Book 4 / Drums of Autumn and beyond make clear that killing Randall didn’t solve anything, or diminish the formidable pull Jamie feels toward him. Even in show canon, when Claire reveals in S2E03 “Useful Occupations and Deceptions” that Jack is still alive Jamie breathes a sigh of relief and expresses joy at having his will to live restored.

Sure, he frames this around a specific interest in getting revenge against Randall. What’s that saying about digging two graves? There’s no exact source for this in any documented Confucius writings, but the idea certainly holds up. Jamie almost heads to his own grave for the sake of tangling with Randall one last time. For his trouble he winds up nearly dying on the battlefield, then doing the same from a severe infection secondary to his wounds, then goes on the lam for several years and lives in a cave, and then winds up incarcerated under especially deplorable conditions before getting paroled to indentured servitude and winding up coerced into sex again. All while still having relentless horny dreams about Black Jack—which only get hornier after Claire returns to him nearly two decades later. Amazing.

It perfectly correlates that he’s not just a sadistic person, but also holds a powerful position as a member of a colonizing military force.

This came so close to full accuracy. Like frostbitten Edward Little gasping his last with chains in his face levels of close.

Sadistic person? Yes. Powerful position? Kind of. We’ll get to that in a minute. Colonizing military force? Yes. However, is Black Jack himself a colonizer? Only if one discounts what gets revealed in Season 2 and the equivalent portions of Book 2 / Dragonfly in Amber about the Duke of Sandringham having Jacobite sympathies and pulling the strings of Randall’s posting to Fort William.

The Reverend Wakefield and Black Jack’s fifth great-grandson Frank Randall unpack this to some extent in S1E01 “Sassenach” when discussing what Jack was doing in Scotland in the first place and the kind of reputation he built. We don’t get the full goods until close to the end of Season 2 with those scenes in S2E11 “Vengeance Is Mine” where the British Army has Sandringham’s estate surrounded with a massive encampment.

To lay things out quite clearly for those less familiar with Outlander canon: Sandringham was deliberately and strategically trying to incite the Jacobite rebellion. He got Black Jack posted to Fort William specifically because he knew Randall could stir up sentiment against the Crown if given the proper conditions. What’s a better weapon of mass agitation than a terrible guy already maligned by his superiors for being bisexual and kinky and having “unnatural tastes” as Randall himself puts it in S1E15 “Wentworth Prison” while rambling to Claire? If he didn’t give direct orders for Black Jack to lean into his worst impulses when presented with worthy adversaries, the Duke certainly gamed the system as much as possible by marooning Randall in a cold and isolated place where most of the civilians thought he was weird and most of the soldiers thought he was creepy.

Jack doesn’t connect all these dots directly during the scenes at the prison. But in S1E08 “Both Sides Now” during the Fort William sequences—in the broadcast version but even more so in this extended cut—we get Black Jack’s own perspectives on his posting in Scotland and how thoroughly he isn’t invested in the conflict there. All he wants is to go back home and be warm again. Which of course he can’t do, because it would spell serious harm for his younger brother per everything we learn throughout Season 2 and Book 2 / Dragonfly in Amber.

Is Randall powerful in the Army? More so than the soldiers under his command, certainly. But as a Captain—per both what we see in the Brockton sequences of S1E06 “The Garrison Commander” and historical information on British Army ranks—he’s subordinate to many others. Who very much enjoy putting him in his place, at that. So in terms of power relative to other English soldiers, he’s somewhere in the middle of the structure. To those now busily envisioning Office Space type corporate middle management AUs: I salute you! And I’m gonna need you to come in on Saturday.

So what about with respect to other people and contexts? Black Jack definitely isn’t powerful relative to the Duke of Sandringham, per other content here. Indeed, he spends at least the last decade or so of his adult life quite firmly under Sandringham’s thumb. Probably other body parts too—see Randall’s hedging comments in S1E15 “Wentworth Prison” about the Duke liking to talk “especially when he drinks” for example. Book 1 / Outlander and Book 2 / Dragonfly in Amber provide additional context about Black Jack’s positionality relative to others in his world—especially via the Duke telling Claire how much Randall craves punishment.

Finally, let’s talk about Black Jack’s status relative to his self-made enemy Jamie Fraser. By which I mean not at all that Jamie is self-made, because of course he isn’t. As a Laird in charge of his own family estate on which tenant farmers pay taxes, Jamie comes from a more powerful family in the Scottish Highlands than Black Jack’s own back in southern England. We learn more from meeting characters like Mary Hawkins later in canon about how “not all baronetcies are created equal” as I once phrased it. Randall’s own father Sir Denys being a baronet didn’t mean much, as evidenced by Black Jack’s own comments to Claire during S1E06 “The Garrison Commander” and equivalent portions of Book 1 / Outlander about his parents paying for tutors to help their son disguise any hint of a Sussex accent.

Ironically the most power Black Jack could’ve had over Jamie in any structural sense would have come from serving as his commander when the younger man fought in the British Army himself. Which would absolutely make for a splendid fic premise, but never happened in canon. Jamie and Black Jack don’t meet until the former is already back from France and settling in anew on his family’s Lallybroch estate in October of 1740.

We certainly meet other people connected to Jamie’s own family who would qualify as colonizers though. Given I already discuss Lord John Grey elsewhere, here I’ll mention Jamie’s aunt Jocasta Cameron as a prime example. Storylines set at her River Run plantation—yikes—beginning in Season 4 of the TV series and corresponding portions of the novels reveal her as not merely a colonizer but an enslaver. One who has the means—and indeed the implements ready at hand—to liberate her slaves but declines to do so. Even after pressure from people close to her. Double yikes.

I don’t want to set Jocasta up as somehow being more villainous than Black Jack; the two characters show us different aspects of the human capacity for knowing harm. However, I do find it telling that a bisexual person whose worst behavior focuses almost entirely on one guy—and otherwise gets directed at people somehow in his orbit—often gets held up as this shining paragon of evil by viewers outside the queer community, a point Rowan makes herself in the original video essay. What I’m specifically unpacking here is the colonialism angle. The bleak side of humanity shows up in many forms in Outlander with respect to colonialism as well as other forms of violence.

The queer figure is not just a danger to the individual, the men or women who might be their victims, but also a danger to society at large—because their existence contradicts oppose truths about what is natural and right.

This tracks. Randall would say so himself—and indeed he does, in almost those same exact words. “I may have what are called unnatural tastes,” he muses to Claire in S1E15 “Wentworth Prison” while letting her hair down around her shoulders and then giving her a big old sniff and shivering with delight, “but I do have some aesthetic principles.” You know, just in case anyone was still wondering if Black Jack’s interest in women was genuine. Whether in the show or the books, we get plenty of evidence that Randall is in the mood for cunt as often as not, to borrow his own phrasing.

Incidentally, I need to point out how “me myself, I’m not in the mood for cunt today” is probably the most bisexual line ever uttered on television. Today. Mercy.

And so here we see this twisting of a homophobic rhetoric of queer danger to create a monstrous rapist colonial figurehead.

First, a clarification: The relevant phobia here is biphobia rather than homophobia. Rowan’s video essay covers this overall topic and the distinction between the two phenomena with substantial detail and insight. What doesn’t come through clearly in the video is how gay people are treated with much more respect in the story world of Outlander than their bisexual peers. Nowhere do we see this more clearly than with Lord John Grey, another queer Redcoat whose path intertwines with Jamie’s in numerous ways over the years.

After first encountering Grey as a scared teenager whose life Jamie spares in S2E09 “Je Suis Prest” we encounter him anew years later starting in S3E03 “All Debts Paid” as the incoming warden of Ardsmuir Prison where Jamie is incarcerated. Swiftly mortified by conditions at the prison, Lord John enlists Jamie’s help in working with prisoners and eventually forges a tenuous friendship with him. Much chess is also played. However, a wedge also gets driven between the two men when Lord John places his hand over Jamie’s one evening during a chess game, unaware of his history with Black Jack or how it would make him react to any expression of affection by another man.

But over time, Lord John secures Jamie’s parole to the Helwater estate where each of them respectively wind up entangled with one of the Dunsany sisters. The younger Geneva, a feisty and cantankerous person who develops quite a fondness for Jamie, coerces the Highlander into sleeping with her when she reveals that she knows his true identity and could get him in a lot of trouble. To get Jamie employment and ensure that he could stay out of prison, Lord John had to pass him off as a run-of-the-mill parolee instead of the fabled “Red Jamie” who helped to lead the Jacobite rebellion. Rather ironic considering Jamie killed one of the actual leaders of the rebellion and could likely have gotten significantly better treatment from the Crown based on that—but that’s beyond the scope of this analysis.

Throughout his storylines, whether serving as warden at Ardsmuir or Governor of Jamaica or any of the other roles he occupies over the years, Lord John is shown to be empathetic and kind. Not without fault certainly. Amongst other things there’s an intriguing storyline later in canon involving him and Claire that serves as a reminder of how sexuality is often not black and white. But he does get set up consistently as a foil to Randall, perhaps most effectively in his choice to marry Geneva’s older sister Isobel and care for the child she conceived with Jamie prior to dying while giving birth. Lord John presents a different take on fatherhood, choosing to give of his presence to William Ransom rather than feeling he can love him best in absentia.

The books offer some fascinating scenes in which Lord John’s son William and Black Jack’s son Denys encounter each other while both serving in the British Army in the American Colonies. That’s how we learn some of the information referenced elsewhere about what Mary Hawkins has passed on to her son about his father, and how she feels herself. I resonated a lot with both men’s sense of having a hole inside them. At this point William has lost two mothers and two fathers—Jamie having had quite a hand in the boy’s upbringing until age six. By 1778 when he encounters Denys again, he has learned the truth about who sired him.

I could write a whole other essay about that considering how relatable the entire storyline surrounding William’s parentage is. Folks who read my work likely know by this point that I got into Outlander because the interconnected storylines surrounding the Randall and Fraser families resonate with my own trauma in a way nothing else ever has. For purposes of this essay though, I’ll point out that even after lying to his kid for many years and dealing him a psychic wound that will never heal as a result, Lord John gets hailed as a good dad and a good person.

John Grey absolutely isn’t a rapist. In fact, in S3E04 “Of Lost Things” he reacts with horror at the idea of Jamie giving him sexual favors in exchange for raising his son. It turns out that Grey is already marrying Geneva’s older sister Isobel—another fascinating subject for deeper analysis that I’m planning to incorporate into my “Dispatches from Fort Laggan” continuity.

Brief sidebar apropos of general queer representation themes: The relationship between Lord John and Isobel offers an undersung illustration in Outlander canon of the diverse dynamics in queer marriages. I think there’s ample ground for reading the union between Lord John and Isobel as either a “lavender marriage” between a homosexual and homoromantic man with a heteroromantic or biromantic woman who’s asexual or a purely romantic marriage that doesn’t involve any sexual activity because one person isn’t interested at all and the other person is only interested with members of their own sex.

What’s more relevant here is how Lord John and Isobel clearly share a deep affection for one another that engages their shared love for other family members—quite similar to the dynamic between Black Jack and Mary. In serving as a foil for Black Jack on some fronts, Grey serves as a mirror in others. Unsurprising then how by the time he encounters William again, Denys Randall has dropped “Isaacs” from his surname entirely after the death of his stepfather Robert.

On the colonialism front, it would be difficult to frame Black Jack as being somehow the worse offender. Although not a Jacobite himself because he doesn’t care about the outcome of the English-Scottish conflict one way or another, he serves as an agent for the Jacobite cause de facto by agitating unrest at Sandringham’s behest. Ironically an example of punch-clock villainy in that regard. Although I wouldn’t ordinarily associate that trope with Black Jack for his zeal in antagonistic behavior towards Jamie and anyone in his orbit, it certainly seems to reflect how he approaches his career. Randall has no less antipathy for his fellow English people than he does for Scottish Highlanders, and indeed awkwardly hopes for acceptance by the local people while new at Fort William per his exchange with Roger in Book 8 / Written in My Own Heart’s Blood.

Meanwhile, Lord John’s storyline sees him become Governor of Jamaica. Governor of Jamaica. If that isn’t the epitome of white settler colonialism I don’t know what is.

Here’s a monster against which are two culturally opposed heroes; English Claire and Scottish Jamie can feel equally threatened.

I think I covered most of the relevant contrasts here in my musings on the sexual assaults against Jamie and Claire during Season 1. Here I’ll add that indeed a major plot point for Claire is how she often does not feel threatened by Randall—and how readily he comes to consider her an ally deserving of his deepest respect. This seems especially interesting in the context of Claire’s own ambiguous sexuality, which I touch on directly in some brief discussion of Geillis Duncan. And from their encounter in the gardens at Versailles from S2E05 onward, Claire by her own admission doesn’t consider Black Jack any sort of threat. She wants Jamie to leave him alone and let him help his brother out without the two of them getting into trouble for having horny fights. Dueling was illegal in Paris at the time, and indeed Jamie gets arrested for fighting Black Jack at the Bois de Boulogne a couple episodes later.

Prior to that though, Claire frantically ruins Jamie’s original plans for dueling Black Jack by getting Randall locked in the Bastille overnight on suspicion of raping Mary Hawkins. The irony to end all ironies, surely! Randall himself doesn’t even seem that aggravated about it given Claire did this in an effort to spare his life. He does however feel aggravated about Jamie apparently deciding he’s not worth the trouble to fight, not knowing all the history surrounding Frank Randall or why exactly Claire seems certain that he’ll die in April of 1746.

Both Black Jack and Claire wind up badly injured following the duel—her with a complicated stillbirth that leaves the placenta inside her body and nearly causes death from sepsis, and him from a significant stab wound to the groin. In show canon per S2E07 “Faith” this appears to be mainly a soft tissue injury to the pubic mound and possibly a cut to the side of the base of the penis; in the novel version it’s more extensive and involves some maiming of the penis and one testicle. I mention this now because in Book 2 / Dragonfly in Amber Claire reflects specifically on Randall being even less of a threat because of his injuries. He’s also very ill in the novel version, likely from a recent bout of cholera, whereas in the show his physical impairments are caused by the cattle stampede from the rescue sequence at the beginning of S1E16 “To Ransom a Man’s Soul”.

So it seems unsurprising that when Black Jack reconnects with Claire at Inverness (Edinburgh in book canon) and begs her to use her skills in healing to save his brother Alex’s life, the two characters find themselves on remarkably even footing. Claire lampshades this herself in repeating Randall’s “I am not the man I once was” line from S1E06 “The Garrison Commander” back to him. Randall also acknowledges this amid strong praise for her medical acumen. He has long since gotten direct perspective on those competencies himself considering the aid she rendered to a badly injured British soldier at Brockton in the same episode, along with her clear success in rehabilitating Jamie’s hand following the extensive injuries Black Jack inflicted to it in S1E15 “Wentworth Prison”.

In both the show and book versions of canon, Claire shows Randall as much compassion as she can, and also expresses respect in her narrations for how he has shouldered the financial and instrumental costs of caring for his brother largely alone. When she urges him to wed Mary in their interactions at the tavern in S2E12 “The Hail Mary” she echoes many of Alex’s own sentiments about Black Jack’s capacity for tenderness and how seriously he takes caring for his family.

Given she already knows how Randall will die, and continues caring for him as best she can even after it gets revealed that Frank’s family line descends genetically from Alex rather than Black Jack himself, her “I’ll help you bleed him myself” comment to Jamie in S2E05 “Untimely Resurrection” seems more for his benefit than her own. Indeed, in book canon Claire feels threatened by Jamie’s lingering obsession with Randall and his repeated rambling about the strange erotic dreams he has about Black Jack. She wants him to have closure on that part of his life, thinking that Randall dying will put a stop to that fixation. Unfortunately for Claire it’s not that simple.

Even Jamie himself doesn’t consider Randall much of a threat in the end. In the book version of canon, he even attends Black Jack’s wedding and serves as a witness for him, whereas Murtagh does this on the show. Book 2 / Dragonfly in Amber details how Jamie escorts a drunk and crying Black Jack back to his own quarters, holding him up because he can’t walk on his own. We never find out what exactly happened between the two of them in that room, though goodness knows a couple of enterprising fan authors have done heroic work in envisioning potentialities.

Show canon does deliver entirely on the erotic tenor of the final encounter between the two men just as Book 3 / Voyager does, with much of S3E01 “The Battle Joined” getting devoted to Black Jack and Jamie grappling with each other while moaning against each other’s ears and looking as if they’re about to have orgasms. Makes sense considering the showrunners reportedly instructed Tobias Menzies and Sam Heughan to go for a combination of the final battle sequence from The Patriot and the sex scene from Cold Mountain in their choreography. They definitely nailed it on the filming. Very much the same energy in the books from all of Jamie’s flashbacks to those moments and the time he spent lying under Black Jack’s body.

An irony that seems worth mentioning itself for how Randall’s last act was to protect Jamie from getting finished off himself during the British Army’s death sweeps of Culloden Moore. In light of this and all the other history between the two of them, it seems less surprising that Jamie left his wedding present—which Claire had returned to him for safekeeping before going back through the stones to her own time—of a dragonfly preserved in amber on the battlefield with Black Jack’s body.

And it’s by standing up to his reign of terror that the two come together, eventually falling in love.

Reign of terror? Not so much, for reasons I’ve already gone into elsewhere. What precisely is Randall “reigning” over in the first place? He’s an exiled soldier who got given a remote fort on a bunch of barren rocks surrounded by water in a freezing cold place that he hates. He has no power over anyone except his own soldiers.

In terms of more overt antagonism, Black Jack focuses the vast majority of his awful behavior on someone who even while chained to a dungeon floor could still kill him with his bare hands. Jamie does kill Black Jack’s much larger and stronger bodyguard Marley in S1E15 “Wentworth Prison” while restrained thusly. If Randall is keeping the Highlands in any kind of iron grip, it’s so weak that he can’t even keep his own bodyguard alive with a chained-up prisoner. Who isn’t even there by his own doing, mind—Jamie gets picked up by a random Redcoat patrol after getting coerced in S1E13 “The Watch” into joining the Watch with Taran MacQuarrie, a suspected Jacobite accused of treason. More details on this get revealed in S1E14 “The Search” as Claire, Jenny, and Murtagh all strive to locate Jamie.

Much of that falls beyond the scope of this analysis. Directly within that scope though is how whether or not anyone likes it, Jamie survives his incarceration at Wentworth Prison because Black Jack raced down there just in time to get him brought down from the gallows. Given canonical knowledge of how Randall does nothing without sincerity—however twisted that sincerity may be—this paints a complicated picture of his impact.

Indeed, one of the things that makes the dynamic between Black Jack and Jamie so interesting and satisfying is how in many ways they’re equals. I covered that extensively in my Ask response about foil dynamics in Outlander canon, so I won’t rehash it in this analysis. But TL;DR: Black Jack assaulting Jamie, and Jamie assaulting Black Jack in kind, was never an exercise in one person punching up and the other punching down. Rather, it is very much an exercise in two people punching sideways. Which a dear mutual illustrated masterfully in their “Killer” sketch previously shared here on Tumblr.

Claire and Jamie do fall in love though. That process is fairly telling on its own—as Rowan points out herself with the very next insight in the video essay. But a few additional details can further unpack sexuality in the context of that relationship, especially in the context of both characters’ interactions with Black Jack.

By opposing Randall’s villainy, they are essentially fighting to maintain the political and social beliefs of the 1740s Scotland, while also solidifying their own relationship and sexual identities—which are heterosexual and monogamous even across time and space.

Okay, folks. I’m flicking on my megaphone here to remind everyone reading this that Jamie is bisexual and that the omission of this key canonical detail could inadvertently reproduce some of the stigmas against bisexuality the video aims to dismantle. I absolutely do not think Rowan did this intentionally. It may stem from limited engagement with the source material in general. I wouldn’t expect a video essay covering a wide scope of media to go into 16K+ words of detail about a single character! That’s what I’m here for. In that spirit, I highly recommend folks interested in going deeper with Outlander canon revisit Jamie’s own narration of his experiences in S1E16 “To Ransom a Man’s Soul” and the many things he says and does in later episodes regarding Black Jack. The books go into even more detail about how much Jamie still lusts after Randall even after the assault at Wentworth, I’ll note.

The more important point here though is how erasure of Jamie’s bisexuality via inattention to his own words can inadvertently reflect Claire’s own behavior at the abbey in that episode: refusing to listen to Jamie unless he tells her what she wants to hear, and specifically shutting him down every time he tries to make her understand that Black Jack made him face things he already wanted beneath the surface.

Even regarding Claire, nuances abound that seem especially important to explore given the above. Specifically concerning the ambiguity of Claire’s own sexuality—how although she never narrates herself clearly in bisexual context, she certainly gets into some telling situations with Geillis Duncan. Claire may not be explicitly bisexual per her own words as Jamie reveals himself to be from S1E16 “To Ransom a Man’s Soul” and equivalent portions of Book 1 / Outlander onward. But we can certainly spot multiple bi-coded elements of her character before even getting to the whole Malva Christie business in Season 6 and Book 6 / A Breath of Snow and Ashes.

Geillis herself is another bi-coded villain who could put Randall to shame for the extent of her agenda and advance planning. Indeed, Geillis’s deeper intent and systemic aims qualify her much more classically for the villain designation than Randall himself, who behaves much more opportunistically. Let’s not forget that he leaves Jamie entirely alone for three years until the Highlander turns up in his office window at Fort William with an empty pistol! Likewise, Black Jack’s own service as an instigator of Jacobite rebellion only comes in exchange for the Duke of Sandringham protecting his beloved brother Alex—including not raping him, which gets further lampshaded by Jamie’s comments about how the Duke has treated him over the years.

It also seems worth noting how Claire offers a good example of how people who might be capable of polyamory through their capacity to love two different men at once don’t necessarily want polyamory. That’s why I abandoned a storyline in one of my early fic series development efforts—my first actually, which never saw the light of day in its original form because it morphed into “Dispatches from Fort Laggan” with a much greater depth of attention to the relationship between Black Jack and Jamie in parallel to his evolving relationship with Mary. Which winds up catapulting Jamie headlong into a raging attraction to Geneva Dunsany, someone much better equipped to meet his needs as a bisexual and kinky guy who’s perfectly capable of sustaining unspeakable horniness about an absurdly complicated man while also being a loving and devoted life partner to a woman.

But by making Lestat the only bi vampire in the show, his moral depravity can be seen as in some way linked to an assumed sexual depravity too—specifically of voracious appetite that separates his bisexual nature from either straight or gay counterparts.

This would be pretty accurate for Randall too. Kind of a missed opportunity to get things close to spot-on. With Randall though there’s even some Zig-Zagging of this aspect, which is part of what makes his character great. Although Black Jack has a voracious sexual appetite and is pretty much always DTF, he is also very much a Regular Guy with Regular Dick Function. He can’t just constantly get it up over and over. Between his alcoholism and his constant pursuit of sexual pleasure, he sometimes can’t get hard at all. He even has concerns about this with Jamie at Wentworth, gloating in delight when he does get an erection. The “can you feel that” scene in S1E15 “Wentworth Prison” wherein Black Jack pulls Jamie’s hand against his crotch and expresses jubilation at having a boner is one of the funniest moments in the entire series to those of us who enjoy Randall’s character.

This is perhaps a good time to note that one thing queer villain representation often does beautifully is imbuing characters with hilarious and often bizarre senses of humor. When I’ve seen other writers frame Randall as humorless or “harrowingly joyless” I’ve wondered again if we watched the same show. The Brockton sequences from S1E06 “The Garrison Commander” alone ought to debunk this, from Randall’s passive aggressive dust party right down to his impish little wink at Claire while he dumps out the prized claret the senior officers were drinking before getting called out on some kind of wild goose chase.

Then there’s also his sardonic monologuing in S1E15 “Wentworth Prison” about possible methods of killing Jamie in the morning, which is entirely tongue-in-cheek and intended solely to make Jamie get annoyed enough to tussle with him. I also consider the weirdly earnest threesome proposition from S1E09 “The Reckoning” when Jamie appears in the window of his office holding an empty pistol. It’s quite clear here that regardless of whether Jamie takes him up on it or just gets irritated enough to fight him fisticuffs and thus give him some nice opportunities to rub up against him, Randall is delighting in the offering.

Finally, we can’t forget his overjoyed little smiles whenever he sees either Jamie or Mary Hawkins. I covered much of this previously via in-depth discussion of Mary’s storylines. So here I’ll note that for all his own efforts to convince Claire that he’d be terrible for Mary, she doesn’t believe Black Jack in the slightest—because she’s already seen how he behaves with her, and likewise both seen and heard directly from Alex how kind and tender Randall has always been with his younger brother. Whom he basically raised, which is a whole other yarn.

Here’s the thing though: One doesn’t need to watch Outlander in any great depth to see that for Black Jack, much of the point of sadism lies in the aftercare. I haven’t belabored that point here overmuch because I don’t want to suggest that caretaking afterwards in any way negates harm done beforehand. However, Randall does consistently show genuine pleasure in taking care of another person. We see this in some ways with Jamie at Wentworth Prison in S1E16 “To Ransom a Man’s Soul” but then get a whole different context on it in Season 2, especially with S2E12 “The Hail Mary” when the curtain finally pulls back fully on Black Jack’s family life. The only moments where he seems to relax at all is when he’s helping someone feel better after a horrible privation—either by his own hand or from the ravages of illness. And in those moments, we see plenty of vulnerability. Which brings us to…

Unlike Randall, there is a vulnerability in and understanding of Lestat’s backstory that contextualizes his behavior.

I’m not so sure about this. Even midway through Season 1 starting with S1E06 “The Garrison Commander” this understanding of Randall’s character begins to fray at the edges. More details on that below. Likewise, we learn a good bit in Season 2 about Randall’s family and what has been going on behind the curtain of his own life as a result. But even beforehand, the scene in S1E15 “Wentworth Prison” where Black Jack forlornly talks to Jamie in the dungeon cell while seated and looking at him with sad eyes says quite a bit. He finds Jamie’s rejection in the face of a clear attraction painful; this is no less important for his own vicious response to that pain after Jamie taunts him about having no self-control. Subsequently we see in S1E16 “To Ransom a Man’s Soul” the lengths Black Jack will go to for the sake of affectionate treatment.

Not all love is constructive or good, but Randall leaves little doubt in his own behavior that his actions are very much in pursuit of love. This gets lampshaded a final time in Book 6 / A Breath of Snow and Ashes with the reveal of what Randall mouthed to Jamie in that one sequence of S3E01 “The Battle Joined” just before collapsing on top of him and dying from his wounds. During the abbey sequences in Book 1 / Outlander Jamie also recalls Black Jack lying beside him on the dungeon floor, crying profusely and begging him to speak words of love. Adding in the murky context missing from the show—about Jack having some sort of sexual history with either the deceased prisoner Alex MacGregor and/or his own younger brother Alex Randall—paints a telling portrait of a man desperate for affection and connection.

Though he doesn’t excuse it, we see his traumatic past, and feel how much he yearns for family and love.

Very true about Lestat, certainly. But I’d say this could also have easily been written about Black Jack.

In other portions of this essay I cover Randall’s behavior at Wentworth Prison in Season 1 and the Inverness storyline at the end of Season 2. To rehash here in brief, the only things that matter to Black Jack are (A) someone loving him back in a way he understands and (B) doing whatever he can to take care of his family. Black Jack doesn’t say as much directly to this effect, but he certainly shows us through action that yearning for family and love motivate a lot of his behavior. The fact that his pursuit of these things often happens through twisted means scarcely means he doesn’t want them. Quite the opposite.

As for the traumatic past, Black Jack and other characters alike (especially the Duke of Sandringham) drop hints throughout the Season 1 and Season 2 storylines—and even more so in corresponding portions of Book 1 / Outlander and Book 2 / Dragonfly in Amber—that Randall grew up in an abusive home and imprinted on that. It’s also clear from his interactions with Alex that he’s been protecting his brother from a lot over the years. The Duke himself certainly, but also other things. And in the corresponding sequences from the novels Jack goes into some detail about how little support he and Alex have ever gotten from their family back in Sussex, including from their older brother Edward even now that Alex is dying.

Then of course Black Jack himself talks aloud to Claire at Brockton about his traumatic present and how the armed conflict in Scotland has further warped his mind. He’s clearly shaken about finding one of his own men brutally beheaded and speaks in more general terms about being “not the man [he] once was” as a result of his military service. No surprise either that he looks like a fish out of water the one time we see him in non-military dress during S2E12 “The Hail Mary”. Black Jack may not like what serving in the Army has done to further damage his psyche, but at this point it’s all he understands and the only place he feels he belongs at all. On that front…

It’s not difficult to see the parallels between his existence as a vampire, and the isolation and threat many members of the queer community feel.

Here I should also include my response to the aforementioned excellent meta on homosociality in The Patriot canon. As noted previously I’m hoping to release a similarly focused reflection of my own in time addressing Outlander canon directly. For now I’ll applaud Rowan’s general attention in the video to how bisexual people often become isolated within the queer community as well as in the world at large.

Double marginalization is a lonely experience in the utmost—and one that can breed tremendous resentment. That anger has to go somewhere more often than not. Even without the added burden of silent rage from sexual violence and the constant “insult to injury” experience of having our own trauma collide with that of others walking a similar path, things are tough. And the data on experiences of rape and abuse in the bisexual community remain incredibly damning.

So again, I think Lestat and Black Jack would find plenty of common ground in one another’s histories. Although Lestat himself doesn’t really meet the criteria for sexual sadism, he certainly enjoys bloodplay and the general aesthetic of violence as part of intimate congress. This isn’t surprising in the slightest considering how the capacity to enjoy such pleasures often grows and sharpens in response to abuse of any form, including rape and domestic violence.

My own life has certainly been an exercise in this. If that seems confusing, consider: For people who are well accustomed to people bleeding on us when we didn’t cut them, it can feel immensely satisfying to have someone bleed on us because we did cut them.

Whereas the initial seasons of Outlander have no sympathetic or heroic queer heroes at all, Interview with the Vampire does give us another lead who fulfills this protagonist role in Louis.

I’m glad this was the last content in the video that mentioned Outlander directly. I think there’s enough context from the rest of this segment for viewers to understand the intended contrast here. Prior to Season 3 we don’t encounter characters in Outlander who are fully immersed in their queerness other than Black Jack, whereas Interview with the Vampire centers characters who show more of that immersion from the beginning on both the protagonist and antagonist sides.

Given the centrality of Jamie’s character arc to Randall’s though, the omission of his own bisexuality from this video essay seems quite the lost opportunity. To reiterate, in both versions of canon beginning with S1E16 “To Ransom a Man’s Soul” and equivalent sequences from the novels we get verbatim documentation directly from the source that Jamie is bisexual himself. This is in addition to his earlier comments about considering the prospect of sleeping with Randall at Fort William and only turning him down because he thought his dad would be disappointed in him. Not for having same-sex relations, but rather for capitulating to another man. That’s a lot to unpack, folks.

Indeed, Jamie’s storylines throughout the TV and book series alike are often demonstrations of how the ideation of heterosexuality and the pressure to live a heterosexual life do deep harm to bisexual men. This gets lampshaded further by the anvilicious contrasts constantly drawn between Black Jack and the decidedly gay Lord John Grey. The latter is set up as a perennial foil for Randall, getting into similar scenarios with Jamie—starting with his time as warden at Ardsmuir Prison in Season 3 and Book 3 / Voyager—but taking them in entirely different directions. Which I appreciate in essentials for the spinning of a superb narrative about complex post-traumatic stress. More so for living with that particular set of issues myself.

Once again for the good of the Republic: If you don’t heal what hurt you, you’ll bleed on people who didn’t cut you.

Apropos of this, I want to express particular appreciation for the video’s exploration of the “puriteens” phenomenon—and incorporate a caution for those slightly elder members of fandom. It can be very easy for people to fall into the trap of assuming that bisexual people are always hypersexual. And even easier to assume that those bisexual folk who truly are hypersexual are automatically threats because of this. More so if said individuals also happen to be kinky, and especially if they are specifically sadistic.

I mention this now because as queer people marginalized from within the queer community as well as without, bisexual and asexual folk stand on common ground. I have seen the transformative power in allyship between bi and ace people in fighting our shared oppressions. Sadly I have also seen many successful efforts to tear that natural solidarity asunder by making ace people fear us as predators. And the first against the wall, same as always, are the hypersexual and kinky among us.

So I’m happy beyond words to see openly ace creators like Rowan Ellis standing up for bisexual people. Making sure that our struggles and our humanity alike are always seen and valued. In kind, I strongly encourage everyone reading this to take this analysis of Rowan’s commentary on Outlander in the spirit in which I intend it. To say that I strongly support both the general content and overall standpoint of this video would understate the case.

Indeed, I offer this detailed analysis now because I know the depth of Rowan’s commitment to diverse queer representation. I want to build on the dialogue sparked by the video and to bring that depth on Randall’s character to the impressive breadth of focus in Rowan’s overview of queer villains. The fact that doing so amplifies the labor, effort, and insight of an asexual creator made me even more inclined to give this my full effort. I hope Rowan will keep putting her voice and perspective into the world for many years to come.

For now, I’m grateful for this opportunity to once again bring Black Jack Randall to my little corner of the Internet in dizzying detail. And moreover, to do so in amplifying the work of a fellow creator explicitly naming the harm done by respectability politics surrounding queerness.

Randall may not be the bisexual representation everyone wants, but he’s absolutely the bisexual representation the world needs. Because if he isn’t a resounding comeback to respectability politics that attempt to deny “problematic” bisexual people their basic human rights—and indeed an effective illustration of the deep harms those kinds of approaches to queerness not only do directly but also reproduce in cyclical patterns—I don’t know what character possibly could be.

[okkos-ferrum]

gray's return in the show and how it defines gray as a truly morally gray character

i just gotta ramble more abt this scene, with it being one of my favorite scenes in the show. but really i just wanna talk abt how this scene encapsulates gray's ... grayness... of the moral variety

especially since it is done so effectively since, like i mentioned in other posts, our screen time with actual gray and not graham or whatever is limited.

this scene sees the return of gray in the plot, picking up directly where we leave off from all the way back in episode 2

Bye-bye, Black Sheep...

I assume you prefer I continue to call you "Carmen"?

as i stated previously on other posts, because of the silly brainwashing plot, much of graham scenes can be thrown out. in a sense, it's the writers' way to put a big old pause on his character

and these are only one of the two conversations carmen and gray have in current day as themselves -- with no mind wiping or brainwashing (not including flashback cuz the actual issues of the relationship that need to be addressed havent been established yet)

so resuming directly right where we left off with gray trying to kill carmen, we return back to gray trying to kill carmen :D

but this time he did recongize carmen's name, alluding to his change ... even tho he is waving his electric stick around -- mirroring their last encounter in paris

side tangent: something i, additionally, love about this scene is just how it is blunt and honest. much of carmen sandiego's drama/conflict is built of misunderstanding and misdirection and mistrust of the characters. Which while, yes, i am eating up, but unfortuntely can cause many characters relationships to be burdened with a lot of things that can be easily cleared up with a talk. gray for once just bluntly takes a stance.

something that i do like is that in their only two scenes with each other as themselves, carmen (the pilot flashbacks) and gray (this scene) open up so fast with one another. there's never any miscommunication between them during these scenes .... well until vile barges into the conversation....

ANYWAY here we get revealed gray's full perception of himself and his goals very explicitly, especially since his memories and alliances was the biggest question over the viewers' head for most of the show

here gray explains that he believes that he is not a good person, someone incapable of change.

from his perspective, the only way he was able to be a "good" person was when he was brainwashed. and he had just had however long with his chats with maelstrom emphasizing that he has always been a bad person by nature. with the knowledge vile will forever have full control over him -- either as a vile operative or as a mindwiped civillian -- gray essentially accepts his fate as a bad person, because at the very least he is himself.

carmen may have gotten away from vile, but he is told by maelstrom it is due to her being a naturally good person. because his own perception of himself is as somebody who is incapable of good, he will never be able to leave vile now

and carmen is right there in front of him. it was his hesistance that landed him into this debacle, and with maelstrom and bellum both just past the door and carmen alone, gray has every chance to right his wrong.

but he doesnt. because he realizes that the very least he can make the choice of is never hurting carmen. as i stated in other posts, gray's main motive is to be free from any standard that could get in between him and his success. but his want for this freedom ironically got him trapped within following vile's orders. he had been so caught up in following vile that he had lost sight of himself and what he cares about.

so now he explains to carmen his absolute refusal to hurt her again, begging her to give up in stopping vile

selfish and selfless

But I'm begging you, give up trying to stop us, because I don't ever want to be put in a position to hurt you again.

gray's plea to carmen here is so perfectly two-sided

he is acting out selflessly in not allowing his alliances against carmen blind him. i mean that is what he fucked up last time in the train, where it was clear gray wanted to spare carmen - with giving her time to share her side of the story and providing the offer - put unwilling to stand against his mission. like an actual human being, gray acknowledges his mistake and is trying to amend it by stating clearly that he cares abt carmen.

he, in essence, is apologizing for trying to harm carmen by expressing his major regret. moreover, he acknowledges their chat in the pilot, accepting carmen will not return to vile. it stems likely from the ink blot scene earlier, where maelstrom speaks about nature, making a distinction between vile, and by extension, gray's, and carmen's morals. he is finally reconciling that he and carmen will not be on the same side, no matter how much he wants it to be otherwise.

it can also be viewed as a sense of wanting to protect carmen. because he feels so small compared to vile, he barely can ponder how anyone can actually succeed in going against them. i mean they brainwashed him and easily gave and took away his civilian life. in his eyes, carmen staying far from vile is the only way she could be safe

however, viewing it from another perspective shows gray's selfishness in his plea. when he speaks about never wanting to be put in a position to hurt carmen again, he kinda places such a responsibility on carmen, not recongizing he himself is capable of changing that.

Essentially saying "hey quit while you're ahead so you don't gotta make me feel guilty when doing crime" while ignoring that he is making the choice join vile

It kinda stems from his lack of faith in carmen or his own cowardice against vile or a combination of both. What may just be the only way he can protect to protect carmen comes off in his own lack of faith in her ability. as i mentioned earlier, this practically is his own resignation to his fate that vile cannot be fought against. he took his own defeat as the only way to be safe, refusing to believe carmen can successfully fight them.

while he was able to get past the hurdle of accepting carmen changing and no longer standing alongside him, he cant seem to understand his own responsibilty in this.

he's being selfish by demanding a change in carmen's behavior while he continue along with his own desires. While yes, i did just detail the various factors that led to him to such a conclusion, the window was LITERALLY OPEN for him to leave

following carmen blowing up the facility and rejecting gray's demand -- SHE IS SO REAL FOR THAT I LOVE HER SM IN THIS EP -- the wall LITERALLY IS OPEN FOR TO LEAVE CARMEN WITH

Goodbye, Gray

Idk how intentional this is, but the framing shows carmen literally, by her own will, forcing an opening for herself out of vile (both figuratively in the past and literally right now lol) while gray watches on idly, too scared to leave the grasp of vile but just watching on.

and his cowardice is followed through in the finale, with after months of idly watching carmen slip deeper into evil by the brainwashing, he actually takes actions against vile by actively choosing to work with acme, abandoning tigress, and being the one to land the memory recovery thing on her.

it is what makes gray such a stand out character in this show, admist his frustrating back-and-forth and selfishness and sometimes wasted writing. he keeps making a mistake but proceeds to fix it right after. his growth into a better person requires him to make these mistakes, because unlike carmen and most people in the show on the side of good, gray doesn't work on any moral compass. he is not actively evil and wishing to inflict harm and conflict like paper star or vile facilty, nor is he driven by morals such as team red and julia. he is driven by whatever he selfishly cares abt. and from what we see of him both in the pilot and this ep, he makes as many mistakes as he does have slivers of good actions

basically gray is an interesting character cuz he literally fucks up his personal goals, but he makes an earnest attempt to make it better lol

[eggopath]

Haha Hazbins your hermits and another goober

Ello, so this is truly just a shower thought but god damn it I thought it sounded good enough to slap my ideas into a post! I will note that all the roles can change! Well except Scar, Cub, and Grian. Their roles are gonna be the same. I also plan to write a few fics about this au so expect those to be coming soon!

Little Edit: Thank you for all the support! I didn't expect this to get a this amount of traction!

TW: Spoilers and Mention of SA

Alright so first off, I wanna explain a general idea. I might scrap the heaven and hell but for now I won't. Alright so first off, because I wanna get them out of the way.

Xelqua will be Sera and Grian will be Emily. Now Xelqua (hopefully I spelled that write) I know it's basically just Grian but he got a watcher name. I just wanna make the watchers the higher ups in heaven. For Adam and Lute, I don't have a duo for it. I was thinking Gem and Pearl. It kinda makes sense for Gem to be Adam because of who I chose to be Alastor but it's to be decided!

Let's go onto main cast shall we?

Scar will be playing Charlie. Wait if Grian is Emily..who's Vaggie? Well it's the one and only Cubfan135 because I love the convex ship. I'm sorry dessert duo shippers but Convex fits better for Charlie and Vaggie's dynamic. Besides the silly ship, Scar is a very big imagination and it fits with Charlie and her dreams.

Let's get another duo out. I put Ren as Angel Dust and Doc as Husk. Ren is only Angel because Doc fits so well for Husk. I feel like I don't need to elaborate for that. It's only fitting we have RenDoc. Also if you ever watched a lot of Ren, the pg rating is on a thread.

I am thinking of putting Etho for Alastor. Many hermits see Etho is an inspiration so that's kinda why he's Alastor! I also needed someone who could be over Doc and Etho came to mind. Though he isn't gonna be full on Alastor coded. Welcome to me editing, I originally had Bdubs as Nifty but he's being moved to Minzy. So for Nifty, we get the cleaning lady! Aka Pearl of the Pearlencentmoon. I am absolutely dog crap at spelling. (Full credit to ryabaprentice for the idea :D )

Now time for the Vees! Cleo is being Velvet. You can't change my mind. I was binged Hazbin and Velvet gave some heavy Cleo vibes. Only fitting. Joe is Vox because of his live streams. Look, every time I go onto a Joe's Livestream..his dang eye ball over the screen. Also because if I put Cleo somewhere, I gotta put Joe with her. For Valentino, I put Mythical J. Sausage. I know he isn't a hermit but who else am I gonna put there?! At the same time it's explainable why he is Val. I am not writing Ren and Sausages dynamic like they did in the show. I am a SA survivor and I don't wanna write about that. Just a little heads up!

Side Characters time.

Lucifer is gonna be our derpy dad Xisuma. He was originally gonna be Sera but I changed my mind. Mumbo takes the role of I wanna say her name is Rosy but it's the main person in Cannibal Town. Haha funny season 8 flash back.

I'll come back and redo this something but I hope whoever finds this enjoys it!

[lovinkiri]

So I was watching Hazbin Hotel (which is streaming on prime video) and I was thinking how hilarious it would be if the LOV had a S/O who has a quirk like Nifty (which by the way, is my favorite character in Hazbin hotel😅) she is kindhearted, but there are times that she says messed up shit to freak out the heroes and the LOV love her for it🤣

A Bit Disarming

Author's Thoughts: Had to watch the show, but I love it! And i love Nifty!

Dabi

Dabi truly isn't caught off guard by a lot, he's pretty good at keeping his reactions hidden.

But you truly are something else. You always manage to surprise him by saying the most and sometimes fucked up things.

Like when you're both simply sitting at a bar and you go "That guy looks like someone I once turned inside out"

He's taken aback and looking at you, ever so confused.

"... You did what?"

"Turned someone inside out, can you order me another drink baby?"

Like what the fuck.

He loves you and all your quirkiness but damn, you're so scary sometimes.

I think he'd be pretty good at reigning you in when you get a bit too energetic.

You know, holding you back with an arm around your waist when you're confronting villains.

"Calm down, little one."

"I am calm! Just wanna bite his face off!"

Spinner

He loves you, he swears he loves you so much.

But goddamn, you're a little scary.

He hates driving with you behind the wheel because he has to trust that you won't listen to that dangerous little voice in your head.

He sits in the passenger seat, looking out the window thoughtfully.

"What if I just swerved off the road and killed us? That'd be kinda romantic, dying together, haha!"

He slowly turns to you, staring wide-eyed.

"... Pull over."

"Huh?"

"Pull over, gimme the wheel."

He'd rather deal with your pout than end up upside down off the road, crushing in a metal wreckage.

He's way worse at reigning you in though because he doesn't try at all. Too much work.

He lets you stab and slice and bite, grimacing at the sight.

"That doesn’t look good.."

"You're next, heroes! Wait your turn!"

Mr. Compress

"You should put me in a marble and make someone swallow me, then undo your quirkiness. Think it'd actually work?"

He'd look at you, mouth agape and shocked by the diabolical suggestion.

"... You have problems. I love you, but you have problems."

"So that's a no?"

"I'll think about it."

He did think about it, but not in the way you think. He didn't consider it but the image did keep him up that night.

Whenever you get too out of control, he does put you in a marble, usually when you're doing something dangerous. He doesn't want you to end up hurt, after all.

It is fun to throw your marble at enemies, releasing you in mid-air and watching as you land on them, tearing them apart.

The gore is gross, but he loves seeing you having so much fun ❤️

Then he watches you turn to the heroes with a smile.

"I'm going to eat your friend now!"

He can't help but laugh at the look of horror on their faces.

God, he loves you.

Himiko Toga

She loves how energetic and transparent you are about your craziness!

She falls in love because you're someone she can truly relate to, your energies are so similar.

You guys encourage each other and choose to become everyone's problem.

"Let's kill him!"

"I'll make him bleed lots for you honey!"

"Awe, sweetie, that's so nice! <3"

The league has their hands full with both of you.

You guys are so cute together though,like two excitable puppies.

Just more.. murderous puppies.

The heroes are terrified of you though.

"I'm gonna let lots of your blood for my sweetie!"

Toga giggles at your words.

"Isn't she the sweetest?"

Tomura Shigaraki

He surprisingly adapts to your remarks and behavior very quickly.

Does he find it strange to see you running around the bar, trying to stab the bugs while he's still drinking morning coffee..

But it's fiiiine.

"Give it a break and eat something, Y/n."

"I'm going to tear their legs off their bodies."

"Yes, of course, you are."

He doesn't have to do much to stop you from getting out of control.

With one glance, you're pouting and standing behind him, waiting for the go to hurt someone.

The heroes are intimidated by you, and that definitely amuses Shigaraki.

"Tomura, I'll just tear their limbs off like the bugs back at our base!"

"Sounds good to me."

He grins at the sight of the heroes sweating.

You make him so happy!

Twice

He finds you are adorable, no matter what you're doing.

"Awe, look at her, diving off the counter! You're going to hurt yourself, princess."

"I love the pain!"

"I love your issues!"

He pushes you to be friends with Toga because of your similar personalities.

He likes seeing your face light up while she matches your energy when he can't.

He doesn't try to reign you in either though, why would he stop you from doing what makes you happy?

He loves seeing your smile as you do the most outrageous things.

"I don't like the way that hero is looking at you! I'll just tear her eyes out!"

"Youre such a cutie when your jealous!"

[schmergo]

Just got this secondhand copy of Pride and Prejudice (1980 Franklin Library edition) and found that it has PORTRAITS of the characters inside! I am rating them based on how well I think the portraits suit them. Feel free to give your ratings!

Mrs. Bennet. 5/10. She doesn’t look nearly frazzled and bonkers enough. I know Mr. Bennet married her for her beauty and then was disappointed by her General Personality, but i feel like this one’s all beauty and no personality. The portrait looks shrewd and calculating, but Mrs. Bennet’s shrewd plans are about as subtle as a stampede of elephants.

Mr. Collins: 9/10. He appears to be played by Harvey Guillen, which seems right. He’s got the perfect self-important expression and tilt to the head. The only thing lacking is that he looks a touch too intelligent and charismatic to be Collins. His eyes have a spark of life in them. In my mind, Collins has the beady senseless eyes of a squirrel.

Jane Bennet: 3/10. She’s appropriately beautiful, but this look is egregiously 1980’s. Also she has RBF. My sweet Jane would NEVER.

Elizabeth Bennet: 7/10. This is an interesting one. I was pleasantly surprised they didn’t make her excessively pretty. She loses points for her hairstyle, which appears to be from Mount Olympus by way of the Roaring Twenties, and the fact that the profile view means you can’t see her Fine Eyes.

I am assuming Elizabeth may be a self-insert portrait because I figured everyone pictures Elizabeth to either look like oneself, Keira Knightley, or Jennifer Ehle, and this book was published before the latter two played the role.

Mr. Darcy: 8.5/10. This is so close to perfection, but the cute button nose spoils it. It’s hard to come off as truly brooding and grand with a cute little button nose. He also seems kinda young, like he’s the resident “dreamy guy” in the college student theatre troupe who got cast as Mr. Darcy, rather than the character himself. He looks like Billy from Stranger Things put on a black wig and went out for a Jane Austen period drama to avoid getting typecast. He looks like the guy you hire when you can’t get Timothee Chalamet.

He gets an extra half point for the quizzical brow.

Mr. Wickham: 8/10. That expression tells me everything I need to know. He has the face of a cad and a scoundrel. But I maintain that Wickham never would have gotten away with his nefarious schemes without a full and luscious head of hair, or at least a nice wig. The hair does the heavy lifting of hiding the holes in his stories. This is not the hairline of a serial liar and rapscallion. This is the hairline of an honest man with nothing to hide.

Lady Catherine: 9/10. She’s somehow nothing like what I expected yet also perfect because she bears a startling resemblance to the wonderful Dame Harriet Walter, who’s required to be in every period piece ever made. Has she played Lady Catherine? She should play Lady Catherine. She loses a point for not wearing anything ostentatious in her hair.