#I am so nice tbh

[hinamie]

10 years later

[allofuswantgwinam]

i haven’t even posted a single thought today so it’s safe to say I’m feeling better today 🤣💀 but i have THOUCHTS AND FEELINGS

there’s this guy i work with and it is a battle bc he gets on my nerves so much *it is not jsut me also wanna throw that out there😭* he only works Saturday’s and I usually don’t have to close with him but I do tn and I just wanna pat myself on the back bc I have been doing really good with all my annoyance with him. bc sometimes it is me asf, like he gets in my nerves sm but I do not need to be an asshole but he is so arrogant and never stops talking and acts like he is the smartest person in the world and it DRIVES ME INSANE BUT IVE BEEN DOIN SO GOOD IM SO PORUD but I also am still me and real at the same time. I just try really hard to be a distance or to just remind myself “he is who he is, deep breaths and do not choose this battle” oh my god. Cause he’s not even an awful person he just is exactly what I said lol he is very nice but I just do not enjoy working with him at all but im mfing doing it and I’ve conditioned myself to just not even fucking care bc it’s just one day. only one. 1 more hour. that’s all 😭🤣

[inkskinned]

so one of the things that's so horrifying about birth control is that you have to, like, navigate this incredibly personal choice about your body and yet also face the epitome of misogyny. like, someone in the comments will say it wasn't that bad for me, and you'll be utterly silenced. like, everyone treats birth control like something that's super dirty. like, you have no fucking information or control over this thing because certain powerful people find it icky.

first it was the oral contraceptives. you went on those young, mostly for reasons unrelated to birth control - even your dermatologist suggested them to control your acne. the list of side effects was longer than your arm, and you just stared at it, horrified.

it made you so mentally ill, but you just heard that this was adulthood. that, yes, there are of course side effects, what did you expect. one day you looked up yasmin makes me depressed because surely this was far too intense, and you discovered that over 12,000 lawsuits had been successfully filed against the brand. it remains commonly prescribed on the open market. you switched brands a few times before oral contraceptives stopped being in any way effective. your doctor just, like, shrugged and said you could try a different brand again.

and the thing is that you're a feminist. you know from your own experience that birth control can be lifesaving, and that even when used for birth control - it is necessary healthcare. you have seen it save so many people from such bad situations, yourself included. it is critical that any person has access to birth control, and you would never suggest that we just get rid of all of it.

you were a little skeeved out by the implant (heard too many bad stories about it) and figured - okay, iud. it was some of the worst pain you've ever fucking experienced, and you did it with a small number of tylenol in your system (3), like you were getting your bikini line waxed instead of something practically sewn into your body.

and what's wild is that because sometimes it isn't a painful insertion process, it is vanishingly rare to find a doctor that will actually numb the area. while your doctor was talking to you about which brand to choose, you were thinking about the other ways you've been injured in your life. you thought about how you had a suspicious mole frozen off - something so small and easy - and how they'd numbed a huge area. you thought about when you broke your wrist and didn't actually notice, because you'd thought it was a sprain.

your understanding of pain is that how the human body responds to injury doesn't always relate to the actual pain tolerance of the person - it's more about how lucky that person is physically. maybe they broke it in a perfect way. maybe they happened to get hurt in a place without a lot of nerve endings. some people can handle a broken femur but crumble under a sore tooth. there's no true way to predict how "much" something actually hurts.

in no other situation would it be appropriate for doctors to ignore pain. just because someone can break their wrist and not feel it doesn't mean no one should receive pain meds for a broken wrist. it just means that particular person was lucky about it. it should not define treatment.

in the comments of videos about IUDs, literally thousands of people report agony. blinding, nauseating, soul-crushing agony. they say things like i had 2 kids and this was the worst thing i ever experienced or i literally have a tattoo on my ribs and it felt like a tickle. this thing almost killed me or would rather run into traffic than ever feel that again.

so it's either true that every single person who reports severe pain is exaggerating. or it's true that it's far more likely you will experience pain, rather than "just a pinch." and yet - there's nothing fucking been done about it. it kind of feels like a shrug is layered on top of everything - since technically it's elective, isn't it kind of your fault for agreeing to select it? stop being fearmongering. stop being defensive.

you fucking needed yours. you are almost weirdly protective of it. yours was so important for your physical and mental health. it helped you off hormonal birth control and even started helping some of your symptoms. it still fucking hurt for no fucking reason.

once while recovering from surgery, they offered you like 15 days of vicodin. you only took 2 of them. you've been offered oxy for tonsillitis. you turned down opioids while recovering from your wisdom tooth extraction. everything else has the option. you fucking drove yourself home after it, shocked and quietly weeping, feeling like something very bad had just happened. the nurse that held your hand during the experience looked down at you, tears in her eyes, and said - i know. this is cruelty in action.

and it's fucked up because the conversation is never just "hey, so the way we are doing this is fucking barbaric and doctors should be required to offer serious pain meds" - it's usually something around the lines of "well, it didn't kill you, did it?"

you just found out that removing that little bitch will hurt just as bad. a little pinch like how oral contraceptives have "some" serious symptoms. like your life and pain are expendable or not really important. like maybe we are all hysterical about it?

hysteria comes from the latin word for uterus, which is great!

you stand here at a crossroads. like - this thing is so important. did they really have to make it so fucking dangerous. and why is it that if you make a complaint, you're told - i didn't even want you to have this in the first place. we're told be careful what you wish for. we're told that it's our fault for wanting something so illict; we could simply choose not to need medication. that maybe if we don't like the scraps, we should get ready to starve.

we have been saying for so long - "i'm not asking you to remove the option, i'm asking you to reconsider the risk." this entire time we hear: well, this is what you wanted, isn't it?

[egophiliac]

NEW BIRTHDAY THEME IS OUT!!!!!!!!!!!

BIRTHDAY SLUMBER PARTY, HERE WE COME

I think the theme is more loungewear than straight-up pajamas, but hey, I'm not complaining! (and -- look, we still have the groovies, I'm not giving up hope for animal kigurumi until I gotta)

[smoozie-art]

Did someone say skyblings? I mean seablings?

Skeablings?!

[erdariel]

Maybe it's just me, but one reason I love getting comments on Ao3 that point out details of the fic that the commenter liked, is that for a moment it lets me see the fic through their eyes

Like, I have a pretty big self-criticism problem, like usually within 24 hours of posting a thing, be it a drawing or a fic or whatever, I start finding more flaws than good sides in it and feeling that actually it's a pile of shit, utterly pointless and bad and thoroughly unlikable. I know this is my issue, and something I need to work on, btw, but I just. struggle ever seeing the good sides of my own work. Even work that was an idea I truly deeply liked and wanted to see done! Even things I enjoyed working on!

But when someone leaves a comment that's like "oooh I like how [x] and I love [y] detail!!" it kind of. Let's me for a moment see past my own issues. It lets me look at the work, and the details pointed out, and go "you know what? yeah, that thing there is very good". Sometimes, on a good day, it might even give me enough time to actually re-read my own fic and enjoy it

So, readers: if you read a fic, and there's a detail you like - no matter how big or small, whether a minute detail of the description of someone's clothing, or something about the way the story is structured, or literally anything! - let the author know! If there's any detail that stood out to you in a way you liked, and you feel at all inclined to leave a comment, then please, let the author know the detail that caught your eye! It can brighten up their day so, so much!

[napping-sapphic]

Good luck trying to casually cuddle with me if we date we’d lay down and get nice and cozy and then i would fall asleep in two seconds flat and trap you for four hours

[scruus]

Stomach buldge with kaveh. Imagine tracing the outline of your cock on his soft belly while he's bent over his table. He's whining about how you're too big, and he can barely take all of you in him. Imagine thrusting gently in and out of him making him stare as his stomach shows off your cock with each and every thrust.

Belly bulge u say huh 🔔

notes: NOT PROOFREAD, amab!gn!reader x afab kaveh, belly bulge, office sex, self-degradation(?) by kaveh, creampie, pregnancy mentions. K bye

kaveh surprising his ceo!reader partner after days of being away from home due to work. He enters your cabin with a smile across his face and a bag full of your favourite snacks. You could almost feel the tears well up in your eyes when you see your lover standing a few inches away from you, lunging at him like he was a soft, comfy bed during a thunderstorm.

Showering him with kisses and pining his body so close to yours kaveh could almost sense your bodies melting in one but oh he missed you so dearly too. And this absence of loving intimacy surged into that of insatiable lust.

“a-am sorry kaveh, am really bu- ugh”, low groans escaping your throat as his tight cunt squeezed around your cock, still fitting perfectly around you while a flushed Kaveh was trying to cover his face with his neck scarf. An attempt to muffle his moans as well.

Irritated, you snatched the piece of cloth and threw it down. “Y/N! You gifted me tha-ahn!”, he moaned when a sharp thrust hit deep inside him, making Kaveh’s legs tremble a bit. You hooked an arm around his waist, pulling his figure up from the table and leaning down, mushing your bodies close again.

“Do you really think I give a fuck about that gift when all I want right now is you?”, your eyes a fiery passion, the underbags doing no justice to the emotion you’re feeling right now. “How I want to make you cum on my cock and see you cry for me after such a long time-“, you thrust again, balls deep and he chokes out a moan, “after not being able to even have your fucking fingers caress my face?”

Kaveh’s whimpers morph into a melodious tune, a songbird you wish only you were an audience to while the entire world were to be locked away from witnessing such artistry. You look down at his soft tummy and let out a soft moan, the shape of your dick clearly peeking at you through his insides.

Oh fuck, I wanna make him pregnant.

“Honey look”, kaveh follows your eyes down to his stomach and he almost felt his orgasm rushing over. Its so erotic and whorish, his body just can’t take your huge fucking dick yet his cunt stretches itself so easy like some slut just to swallow you all up. His body is way more hungry for you than he would like to accept.

“With the way my cock peeks a hi at me everytime through your stomach, I am resisting all I can to not fuck you senseless and crazy right now”, you mutter as your pace fastens and Kaveh knows your not joking because he is very well aware of how fast you can turn him into a whore. He surely doesn’t want that fact to be visible when he exits your office after all.

The way you both are clinging on to each other and rutting together as if bunnies on heat. His wails becoming louder and your moans becoming weaker. Kisses that speak more than words and actions and an “i love you” from both of you was enough to tip the other one over.

You rest your head on his shoulder while he tries to recollect his senses and boast a bashful color of red all the while trying to lecture a giggling you.

Al-haitham stands outside your door, loosening the tie around his neck and shuffling his pants to hide his boner after he just heard his best friends fuck each other like mad men. Horrible day for al-haitham.

A glowing bright day for you two!

[fuckyeahisawthat]

“I don’t think that is what God wants. And I don’t think you want it either.”

This line of Aziraphale’s in the Job minisode keeps sticking out to me. Because this is the heart of the problem, right? This is how Aziraphale can see Crowley so completely and also not at all.

Because yes they suck at open communication and yes it’s because they had to hide their relationship for thousands of years and have so so so much trauma and fear to work through. But ALSO they actually do have a profound difference in how they see the world that keeps coming between them, and it’s not just theoretical but deeply personal to both of them.

Because Aziraphale still wants to believe that God is good. He can’t let go of that because his whole identity is wrapped up in being an angel of the Lord, and if God’s not good then what has he been doing for his entire existence?

And so when bad things are happening he falls back on This cannot be what God wants. The whole of season one, he refuses to believe that God could really want the world to end—even though we now know he knew this was a possibility before the world even started. He keeps going up the chain of command, trying to find someone to intervene. “That’s why I’m going to have a word with the Almighty and then the Almighty will fix it.” As if God doesn’t have all the information or hasn’t been paying attention.

And really, the events of season one reinforce this worldview for him. Because if the Archangel Fucking Gabriel isn’t sure what God wants, then maybe God did want them to stop Armageddon. Maybe it was Aziraphale and Crowley who were doing God’s work after all.

He’s gotten as far as realizing that Heaven’s orders are not the same thing as God’s will, but he still hasn’t detached the concepts of Good and Right from God in his worldview.

Crowley is a good person who does the right thing so he must still be an angel deep down. “I know the angel you were.” The only way Aziraphale can conceptualize Crowley saving Job’s children is, “Come on, you’re a little bit on our [God’s] side.” So Crowley’s fall was a mistake; Crowley belongs in Heaven, where he was so happy before the Fall. Why wouldn’t he want to be an angel again? And yeah maybe Heaven sucks now but God is still good, so there’s hope that the system can be reformed with a change of leadership, and Heaven can be made to actually do good, the way God always intended.

But that’s not how Crowley sees the world at all. He is operating with an entirely different understanding of reality. Because he figured out a long time ago (at least by the time of the Job job, but probably long before that) that you can’t base your sense of morality on what you think God wants. Not just because you don’t know for sure, but because sometimes God’s plans are fucking awful. God in Good Omens is not kind to Her creations. She doesn’t tolerate questions or doubts or disobedience. She’s capricious, turning on the creatures She made and killing a bunch of them when She’s in a bad mood. She punishes indiscriminately and disproportionately. She wagers human lives like gambling chips. The kids were supposed to be dead no matter who won the bet.

I think it’s interesting that Crowley is the one who introduces the idea in season one of “What if the Almighty planned it like this all along? From the very beginning.” That’s probably a comforting thought to Aziraphale, soothing his anxieties about going against Heaven right when he is feeling acute distress at the idea of no longer having a side. (And, in that particular moment, no longer even having a bookshop.)

But it’s not a comforting thought to Crowley. Have you seen what happens when God has a plan for you? It fucking sucks. Woe betide you if you’re the Barbie God decides to play with today. (At bare minimum, you’re coming back with some burn marks and a weird haircut.)

I’ve brought up the line “There are no right people. There’s just God, moving in mysterious ways and not talking to any of us” before, and I tend to focus on the “there are no right people” part. But also, there’s just God.

Aziraphale tends to draw a distinction between God’s will and Heaven’s orders when it suits him, and collapse that distinction when it doesn’t. Crowley almost never differentiates between God and Heaven. There’s just God, and She’s not going to explain why this is happening or listen to pleas for mercy (although Crowley still tries). You can’t trust Heaven or Hell, and you can’t count on God to show up and make everything all right. Sometimes God is in fact the reason that things are not all right. You’re on your own.

(And. Look. Crowley is right on this one. There are certainly aspects of their relationship where they’re both equally responsible for things being a shitshow, but the text is pretty unambiguous about Crowley, a demon, having the most accurate read on the nature of God in the world of Good Omens out of any of the metaphysical characters.)

Crowley rebuilt his entire sense of self, alone, after the Fall. He created himself anew and developed his own moral compass and sense of identity independent of both Heaven and Hell. “The angel you knew is not me.” When Crowley does the right thing, that’s not his angel-ness shining through; that’s just Crowley.

And from a like, trauma recovery point of view, it’s actually very healthy for him to have the realization that sometimes God’s just kind of a dick. He didn’t do anything to deserve getting kicked out of Heaven. None of them did. Just God messing them about because She didn’t like being questioned, or She wanted to see what would happen, or She needed two sides for Reasons and didn’t much care who was on one or the other, or She’s playing some fucked up little game for Her own amusement. (And if there was some Great Plan that required Crowley to fall…well, that is also fucked up. Because it doesn’t matter if there was a reason. It still hurt.)

And while Crowley in general is extremely patient with Aziraphale and his slow, halting journey away from Heaven…it’s gotta sting, every time Aziraphale doesn’t want to believe that God could be cruel, when Crowley is standing right fucking there. It’s gotta hurt when Aziraphale refuses to see something that Crowley knows to be true through his own lived experience. Because it should be enough. What happened to him should be enough to make someone who loves him walk away from Heaven and never look back. And it isn’t.

But of course Crowley is one hundred percent not going to talk about this, if he is even fully self-aware about having these thoughts, because it’s far too painful and vulnerable. (He talks to plants, goats, God, and no one in a bar at the end of the world, but never to Aziraphale.) And so he says “Tell me you said no” and “I think I understand a lot better than you do” because he can’t say Choose me. Just this once, choose me and he can’t say Believe me.

And Aziraphale is not going to think about all this and work it out for himself, because he has a massive lump of denial centered around exactly this thing, that sometimes God hurts people who didn’t do anything to deserve it. I’m sure he’s thought about the Fall in abstract terms, enough to be afraid of it, but not in terms of this is a thing that happened to a person I love. And he has certainly not allowed himself to draw any conclusions about the nature of God from it, because that is far too scary a prospect.

And so they’re stuck. Until they can figure out how to remove this massive landmine from the center of their relationship, they are going to keep having the same fight over and over again, and they’re going to keep hurting each other without fully understanding why.

[takethelx3]

when ur platonic bro is just helping u stretch while u platonically yap about ur MAGNUM DO-- detective skills.

[vibinginthebg]

✨Some doodles of the siblings to try to see how to draw them ✨

(I am super late to the party hello)

[scintillatingshortgirl19]

i am begging one single person in this entire show to consider, for perhaps one single second, THE POSSIBILITY THAT THERE IS A REASON HOUSE HATES HIS DAD THIS MUCH

[senselessalchemist]

Bow problems (+ other nonsense)

[inkskinned]

one of the things about being an educator is that you hear what parents want their kids to be able to do a lot. they want their kid to be an astronaut or a ballerina or a politician. they want them to get off that damn phone. be better about socializing. stop spending so much time indoors. learn to control their own temper. to just "fucking listen", which means to be obedient.

one of the things i learned in my pedagogy classes is that it's almost always easier to roleplay how you want someone to act. it's almost always easier to explain why a rule exists, rather than simply setting the rule and demanding adherence.

i want my kids to be kind. i want them to ask me what book they should read next, and i want to read that book with them so we can discuss it. i want my kid to be able to tell me hey that hurt my feelings without worrying i'll punish them. i want my kid to be proud of small things and come running up to me to tell me about them. i want them to say "nah, i get why this rule exists, but i get to hate it" and know that i don't need them to be grateful-for-the-roof-overhead while washing the dishes. i want them to teach me things. i want them to say - this isn't safe. i'm calling my mom and getting out of this. i want them to hear me apologize when i do fuck up; and i want them to want to come home.

the other day a parent was telling me she didn't understand why her kid "just got so angry." this woman had flown off the handle at me.

my dad - traditional catholic that he is - resents my sentiment of "gentle parenting". he says they'll grow up spoiled, horrible, pretentious. granola, he spits.

i am going to be kind to them. i am going to set the example, i think. and whatever they choose become in the meantime - i'm going to love them for it.

[lemongogo]

[atsu-i]