#I can't believe there is not more people a bit more deranged about what is going on with the Aeons and their powers in this world

[fragmentedblade]

The more I think about it the more intrigued I am about the future development of Ruan Mei

[toastypockets]

"Obake, You look like a mess..."

...

lots of words below concerning these sobbing sods

they allow themselves to be vulnerable around each other, or at least that's what i believe

when it comes to this pairing i usually can't figure out who's taking on what role in the relationship because i enjoy going off the rails with their canon identities a bit too much

my (very shaky) foundation is that they've realized they appreciate each other's company a lot more than they initially thought because they connect with each other in so many ways that "regular people" could never get

(generally speaking that is a positive thing since Momakase is, respectfully, a crazy knife lady constantly loading her pockets with unrighteous dollar bills, and Obake is, respectfully, a deranged mad scientist who almost wiped out a population and thought he was in the right for doing so)

the most obvious reason they even show interest in each other is the fact that they are both certified powerful supervillains, but i need there to be more going on because i'm a wreck for this particular ship and i don't know what to do about it

Momakase loses her temper and has become aggressive (← that's putting it lightly) when she can't keep herself in check, but she is still able to feel the emotions she hides from others so well, like compassion, for example. she doesn't feel that stuff often but that doesn't mean she can't feel it. Obake came into her life with a flimsy little replica of her signature graphene material and that smug expression of his only for her to fall for it later on because he didn't just break out a prisoner that night, he broke out these emotions that were in need of light after being kept in the dark for so long (and hey would you look at that- here is a light that occasionally glows a colorful purple/pink hue)

Obake, on the other hand, believed he was content with the solitude he built for himself because he never thought he would be trying to look out for anyone but himself and his aspirations for the future. he never thought he would even consider such a thing because who can really understand the ingenuity of a dark mastermind like him? could anyone even appreciate it? Momakase unexpectedly reveals that she is more than a henchwoman and throws him off his mark by being this unexplainable outlier in his comprehension of the world. after that, she provides an answer to his question, but it's not what he anticipated. furthermore, he realizes that the person he released from captivity is dangerous, conniving, and sharp, like himself, but displayed in a way he's never seen before. it's what he would define as beautiful. things are no longer as straightforward as he knew it so now he's brainstorming a plethora of questions, most of them concerning the ninja and the rest concerning his state of being when he's around her

[sofoulandfairaday]

1 for the ask game

from: choose violence ask game

1. the character everyone gets wrong

Err... all of them? I'm not even kidding. More on this here.

Bellatrix: fortunately there's been progress in the fandom, but for years everyone loved to describe her as an overly sexualized, crazy, shrieking mindless slave, when she's actually quite the opposite. She is sadistic, but not insane, she's passionate but not irrational (she is the only one who knew Snape was a traitor; to me, it's because of a peculiar mix of rationality and intuition that shows her to be actually quite intelligent). Nothing suggests her being promiscuous in the text and I would actually argue the opposite of her (why would she ever lower herself to sleep with someone who she deems her inferior - so basically everyone -, even just to satisfy mere physical desires? This post, to me, is Bella at her core).

Narcissa: this is canon Narcissa, all of you are perfectly entitled to your soft babygirl headcanons, of course, but then again you are perfectly entitled to be wrong <3 [also, shameless self-promo: x]

The blorboification continues for every single member of the Black family and I hate it so much you have no idea:

Andromeda: somehow described as a soft little girl who loved her mean, mean sisters so much and had to run away? Bitch stood up to seven centuries of tradition, and abandoned her sisters and parents, to marry a boy she had fallen in love with maybe two years prior (we know this based on Tonks' age). Good for her, but as I have said previously, both Narcissa and Andromeda (and Sirius, really) strike me as a bit selfish. The one with the romantic attachment to the idea of her family, the child most like Walburga, is Bellatrix.

But this is nothing, NOTHING, compared to what this fandom does to Regulus and Sirius.

Regulus: canonically a Voldemort fanboy, with newspaper clippings of him everywhere, and a blood supremacist. Sirius says it better than anyone: Reggie is soft. But not in the way the fandom believes, nope. He's just a coward who, much like Draco years later, was super excited to be like Bellatrix (Lucius) until he realized what killing really meant, what fighting a war really was, and most importantly because Voldemort touched him personally (Kreacher, whom he loved). Voldemort was probably a little more deranged than he had been at the beginning of the First War, and someone that had inherited the Black pride/haughtiness probably didn't like being branded like cattle and treated like a slave, on top of everything else.

Sirius: fanon Sirius is basically another character. Canon!Sirius is: tall, canonically incredibly handsome, quite masculine (in an explicit and toxic way, especially as a teenager in the fucking 1970s - the skirt-wearing, feminist one-liners spouting version of Sirius is something I just cannot get behind), a dick, a bit classist ((don't come @ me with your "oh, but what about Moony?!" because a) we don't know Remus' wealth when Lyall and Hope were still alive, we only know he can't get a job as an adult because of his condition and b) Remus is Sirius' exception, in the same way Lily is Snape's when he calls her a Mudblood - everyone else is in his eyes)), brave to the point of recklessness, quite cruel, funny, witty, magically talented, loyal to a fault, extremely charismatic and everything else outlined here. For the same reasons, I'll say Remus too.

Don't even get me started on Severus Snape. Other people have spoken on this better than I could ever. At least here on Tumblr, though, it seems to me that things are getting a little better after years of absolutely bizarre takes. Or maybe I've blocked all of the idiots idk.

Dumbledore. More on this here and maybe I'll outline my ideas better in a future post.

Also: I do not accept any characterization of Evan Rosier, Barty Crouch jr, Reggie, and Rabastan Lestrange as anything less than violent blood supremacists. Yes, they can be nuanced and gay (and only for each other might I add), but these people are the KKK (metaphorically, of course, because I hate comparing real-world tragedies to completely fictional ones, but still).

Lucius: a complete dick, but definitely not abusive. The man couldn't raise a hand to Draco if the Dark Lord threatened to kill him over it.

Speaking of which: my darling Lord Voldemort. Not much to say about him really because I know that some people do write him in a very interesting way (and I am open to interpretations of his character even if they are different from how I see him - and I have a very fucking specific vision of him). The problem is that perhaps three (3) of these people write him with Bellatrix and that saddens me.

Now, I mostly read First Wizarding War stuff or Death Eater stuff so I can't really speak to many other characters, especially in Harry's generation, but anything other than cowardly Draco is not a good Draco characterization to me. Ron is hands-down the best one in the Golden Trio and Ron Weasley bashing is pathetic. Hermione has faults but is ultimately a strong, take-no-bullshit girl and I'll take that over basically any and all female YA protagonists. And Harry is sassiness personified, but with a heart of gold, and oh-so-caring. Which is also why I can't read dark!Harry for the life of me. It just makes me giggle.

[peachymilkandcream]

Fraud|Part 4|Yandere All Might x Hero!Reader

(A/N: I love doing yanderes who have a lot of political power. Both All Might and Levi can basically get away with anything because they have a reputation that proceeds them. Hope you enjoy and comment to be added to the taglist!)

WARNINGS: implied noncon, dubcon, manipulation, domestic abuse, yandere themes, forced marriage, forced pregnancy, stockholm syndrome, graphic depictions of violence, mind breaking, misogyny, power imbalance, age difference, cheating, etc.

===============================================

When you're the Number One hero it's never hard to find someone willing to do whatever it takes to get in the good favor of the Symbol of Peace. Anyone would kill to be so recognized by Japan's hero.

With this came some rather deranged fans who would do even more than most because of their deep devotion and infatuation with the hero. Some women would call to him on the streets while others were willing to lie, steal, and manipulate if it meant the Toshinori noticed them.

Which is where he found the perfect woman to execute his plan.

===============================================

Just killing the man would do nothing in the long run. Some women swore off love forever if the person they considered their soulmate happened to die, or they would always long for the one who's life was cut short too soon. And what Toshinori needed was for her to fall for him, that way she would be easier to manipulate.

Breaking her entire image of this man was what needed to happen. To make her believe that all men except for him were truly horrible and deplorable people.

Then she would find safety in the only one who was truly kind and good to her.

The most gorgeous women followed All Might like he was a god, so when he approached a young woman and have her seduce Shade's significant other in exchange for promised intimacy later, she jumped at the opportunity. Both women were out of this scum's league, but there was no doubt he would choose what he perceived as the prettier of the two.

Deep down All Might felt a twinge of guilt, forcing this woman to go through such pain to get what he wanted was truly deplorable. But if the man willingly cheated on her then All Might was simply saving her time.

===============================================

Shade had noticed something was off with her boyfriend for a while. Her and Hunter had moved to Japan from America when they were determined to make their relationship work after they both believed that they had better chances at becoming pros in Japan. Both of them were pros, with him having a bit more popularity than she, something he often reminded her of. But they had been happy, which is why his coldness to her now was immediately raising alarm bells.

Hunter usually demanded sex, getting frustrated with her whenever she was too tired on just generally not in the mood. However as of late he hadn't been asking or demanding it at all. Only when she initiated did he even touch her.

And then there was his phone, always on it, always smiling and texting someone she didn't know. Shade had to give Hunter her passcode so he could ensure she didn't cheat, however when she asked he told her to shut her mouth.

Suspicion and jealous rose up in her. "Who're you talking to babe?" She asked casually.

"Just a buddy of mine." His smile vanished.

"About what?"

"Nothing, damn, can't you leave me alone?" He rolls his eyes and goes back to the screen.

She was probably getting worked up over nothing, Hunter said he loved her so why would she need to be worried about what he was doing?

==============================================

Days turned into weeks of staying out late and mysterious messages and phone calls, and all the while Shade continued to force herself to believe all was well. Everything would be fine in the end. It would all work out okay.

Until she came home early.

Heroes never followed a very scheduled day, different jobs and situations called for unpredictable hours. Especially for a hero trying to make it.

But with the recent strangeness of Hunter, Shade wanted to make an effort to ensure it wasn't her not giving her all into the relationship. So she made a point of coming home early to surprise him. Nails and hair done in a new dress, something sexy in her shopping bag. All to show him she cared.

She shouldn't known what she would find when the door creaked open and she heard the noises. But the morbid curiosity forced her to walk the hall to their bedroom, where the creaking and moans filled her ears.

Shade pushed the door open, feeling numb as she saw another woman riding the dick of her boyfriend.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

reading update: January 2024

as long as I'm talking about The Gargoyle's Captive, let's discuss what else I've been reading this month.

Maeve Fly (CJ Leede, 2023) - I really liked this slender debut novel, which follows the titular Maeve Fly as she prowls LA like a homicidal alien, playing an unnamed ice princess in a certain theme park by day and indulging her murderous tendencies by night. Maeve is in a downward spiral; she's 27 years old and is preparing to lose her grandmother to illness and her only friend to a blossoming acting career. she sees no future for herself beyond losing the only two people she cares about and has no further goals, contenting herself with alcohol and porn while she rereads the same books, rewatches the same videos, and listens over and over to her playlist of Halloween music. Maeve is, it must be said, an abysmal loser, and I like her terrible melodrama a lot. I do think some of the hype is perhaps overstating the feminist credentials of this book; it sort of reminds me of when a college friend told me their favorite feminist movie was Suicide Squad (2016) because Harley Quinn was in it. Maeve talks a lot of big game about how women are always expected to have some tragedy to be deranged serial killers, while men are allowed to just do it, but it hit me as a little tryhard. there are a lot of books trying to be "the female American Psycho" right now - Eliza Clark's 2020 novel Boy Parts is frequently described as such - but it feels a bit too on the nose when Maeve's ultimate climactic rampage is directly inspired by a glimpse of the American Psycho novel. it's not that deep, but it is a gross, captivating read told from a fascinatingly cracked POV. check out Maeve Fly.

Laziness Does Not Exist (Devon Price, 2021) - yeah Devon Price is still following me (though my days are numbered, I'm sure) so it's a massive relief to say that I did like this book. Price has sort of become my self-help ride or die, mainly because a.) he's so much more self-aware than the average self-help writer that it feels kind of insulting to call him one and b.) he's actually dealing with topics that are relevant or interesting and providing actionable advice. while LDNE didn't engross me quite as hard as Unmasking Autism (while I am, famously, not autistic, I do believe in their beliefs, by which I mean I'm the token allistic among my close friends and I vastly prefer autistic company) it hit me hard in several unexpected pressure points. I'll happily admit that I can't relate to Price's interviewees who willingly work 50+ hours a week for jobs that hate them and are destroying their minds and bodies, but I still struggle to escape the perpetual sensation that a moment at rest is a moment wasted. It probably didn't help that I was reading this book while on vacation at my mother's, where I visited the beach almost daily and was so work-averse that we didn't even bother going grocery shopping because I didn't want to cook. and yet, despite getting dummy chill in some aspects of my life, I am still constantly possessed by a malevolent ghost insisting that I'm wasting my time and have never actually done Enough. maybe Price's next book, Unlearning Shame, will finally fix me; it's out in four days and god knows I'll be getting my hands on it as soon as humanly possible.

Patternmaster (Octavia E. Butler, 1976) - y'all know I love a messy political fantasy, and this is just... god, the absolute messiest. I thought Mind of My Mind was bad, but it turns out Mary's descendants are going to full-on reinvent feudalism with psychic powers, treating non-psychics as chattel and causing technological advancement to regress since they refuse to handle their problems with anything but psychic powers. and it's even got two brothers duking it out for the throne that will give them power over every bitchy psychic on earth! you love to see it. if I can be 100% honest I do think it's straight up bananagrams that this was the first book released in the series even though it's chronologically last; I genuinely cannot imagine caring enough to figure out what the fuck these people were talking about if I didn't have the previous four books for context. and even "context" may be generous; Octavia still has absolutely 0 interest in explaining what's up with the fucking outer space werewolves who are the psychics' #1 enemy. if I could have brunch with any person living or dead I would summon Butler up in a heartbeat to explain what the fuck her thought process was in plotting out this series over some mimosas, and I would take extensive notes on every word she said. an absolute genius and the uncontested queen of freak shit forever.

Thirsty Mermaids (Kat Leyh, 2021) - I purchased this graphic novel in November 2023 at a conference where I bumped into Queer Comics Peddler, my very favorite queer midwestern pop-up. running into them is always a delight, and this time I came with a question: could they give me a recommendation? the very nice people working offered up Thirsty Mermaids, which was the PERFECT companion for a long airplane ride. it's cute without being overly sappy, and avoids the trap of sacrificing a plot for the sake of checking off as many representation boxes as possible. the story is simple: three mermaids use a spell to turn into humans and go ashore in search of booze, only to realize in the morning that they don't know how to turn back. taken in by a generous bartender, they're faced with the reality of having to make money for the first time in their lives. hijinks ensue, but also a very sweet and warmhearted story about the friends looking out for one another as they try to figure out exactly where they belong and what home even means. also the artwork is GORGEOUS, with the mermaids' extremely memorable character designs being a real standout. if you're a graphic novel enthusiast, definitely check this out 🧜‍♀️

Sugar, Baby (Celine Saintclare, 2023) - Sugar, Baby came to me in a very similar way as Thirsty Mermaids: while visiting a witchy little bookstore that I was immediately charmed by, I asked the cashier what they would recommend. they offered up Maeve Fly (fab) and this novel, a stack of which was on the counter advertising an upcoming event with the author. neither have disappointed, so shout out to that one employee with the great taste! Sugar, Baby sees a young cleaner named Agnes, one of the only biracial women in her unnamed English town, befriending the daughter of a wealthy client and getting whisked away to her new friend's London lifestyle: crashing in an apartment with fellow models, staying out all night to party, and making money by going on dates with extravagantly wealthy older men. Agnes starts out having a swell time, but the cracks pretty swiftly start to form as she realizes how much more dependent she is on these men than her wealthy new friends and she begins to wonder exactly how much she's willing to diminish herself to get the bag. it's not a perfect first novel but it is a compelling one, a perfect airplane page-turner that crashes from glitzy to ghoulish and back with breakneck speed.

The Gargoyle's Captive (Katee Robert, 2023) - my full review is over on patreon for my darling supporters who want me dead (and picked this book in the first place, damn them to hell), but suffice to say this is a fun book to read if you like the sensation of your brain melting out of your nose, if you're really turned on by baby's first bdsm, you are not particularly concerned with trifling matters like "plot coherence" or "character motivation" or "writing that is complex and artful," and/or you've ever wanted to have sex with a dude whose penis is so big that you feel genuinely fear. also, hey, I forgot to include this in my patreon write-up so fuck it: Robert REFUSES to tell us what kind of food the protagonists are eating, ever. whenever they have a meal it's just "the food was placed on the table" "I took a bite" etc. drop me a HINT, man, come on! is it a protein? grain? starches? the only thing I know for sure that they're consuming is wine and a single marshmallow, and god does it show. it's just a very weird and distracting omission and it's absolutely not the worst thing about this book but it is a hill I'm willing to die complaining on.

[fkevin073]

so i finally watched TBOSAS, and as someone who didn't read the TBOSAS book, i'm going all movie based here to ask you about that cabin scene-- do you think snow would have killed lucy gray there? i mean, he did started shooting later, but that was because she put the doubt of "nooo, oF cOuRsE i WoN't TeLL" and i feel like that's when his trust ON HER was broken?

idk where i'm going with this, i guess i just wanted to hear your opinion on it. i honestly think if movie!lucy had just kept quiet in the cabin, movie!snow wouldn't have done anything? (anything to harm her, that is. i definitely think he would go back to go to district 2)

ahh welcome to the TBOSAS brain rot! it's a fun place to be lol

but u see, what you just described is exactly my biggest issue with the movie. like don't get me wrong, everyone in the cast killed it, and I love the movie overall, but the book 100% helped you realize just how selfish, deranged and paranoid Coriolanus really is. like he's not totally evil, but you see his flaws very, very prominently, and know that even if he does love Lucy gray, he doesn't love her well or right. the movie doesn't give you that insight, which makes sense considering we don't have that endless access to his thoughts like we do in the book, but in the movie they do this weird thing of almost making him better? or making him seem more like a tragic villain? like the book makes it 100% clear he did not truly care about Sejanus. When he cries post the hanging in the book, he cries because he thinks he's next, not because he feels genuine remorse for what did to sejanus. The movie makes it seem like he was genuinely convinced sejanus would be fine and his dad would buy him out of trouble; the book makes it clear that isn't truly a priority for him.

this speaks mainly to your question: do you think snow would have killed Lucy gray? in the book, the answer is 100% yes. I've already spoken about this with the amazing @indistinctmumblings, but in the book we already know how suspicious and paranoid snow is. he was already ready to ditch her the instant he saw the guns. book Coriolanus is ready to turn on people the moment he realizes he can't control them, even if he loves them. the movie changes coriolanus in that way, and while I think it's effective in its own way - makes his fall seem a bit more tragic because we like Coriolanus more, it infuriates me because in the woods scene it almost makes Lucy gray seem more like the aggressor?

Like by the time Coriolanus finds the snake in the book, he's already turned on her. the movie makes it seem like her 'betrayal', which seems a bit more unjustified considering how remorseful he was about sejanus (saying I'm sorry, crying over pictures, etc), and which could (somewhat??) reasonably be interpreted as a murder attempt on her part (in the book it's specified post his return to district 12 by a doctor that the snake wasn't venomous at all) is what makes Coriolanus snap. and it grates at me, esp after the first time I watched it.

because in the movie I was also genuinely convinced that until she said "besides me?" Coriolanus hadn't really thought of her as a threat? like it's only when she says it that it occurs to him, but even then he doesn't seem to mistrust her. it's only post snakebite that he's like okay, that's it, we're done, you're done. And I think it kind of undermines the danger Lucy Gray was in, in a way. Like I firmly believe in both the book and the movie she was waiting in the bushes to see how he would react as a final kind of test, and he very obviously fails it on both accounts, but in the movie it's a bit more reasonable why he was upset?? to some degree, anyway. he's still an asshole, and Lucy gray is stilll the one in the right here.

I think the main difference between book Coriolanus and movie Coriolanus to me is this: if he DID shoot Lucy gray, and he found her lying on the forest floor and bleeding, I believe book Coriolanus would have gone for the kill shot, even if it was in a fit of rage. I don't believe movie Coriolanus had it in him. I think he would have helped her, or let her go. but that's just me!

I definitely agree with you though! I think the more I rewatch it the more okay I become with it, but when I first watched the movie I was hit by the changes in the cabin like a truck. thanks sm for the ask, and have a happy new year!

[goosemixtapes]

max's top books of 2023 :3c

as usual, these rankings are based on some arcane mix of objective quality + my personal enjoyment (previous year's lists)

it was another weird reading year! i did a lot of reading for school, more so than in the past; some of it was really good and some of it was, uh. well, some of it was william wordsworth. nothing i absolutely loathed, though (most of the reads i disliked were books i could at least appreciate on an art/history level), which is cool. so i'm bringing back the runner-up category. did not make it onto my top ten list but were really good anyway: beartown by fredrik backman (books that no joke made me understand why people are insane about sports) and the GORGEOUS re-release of my dear @yvesdot 's debut, something's not right, which i have read before but will always gladly revisit again.

my top anticipated release for 2024 is alecto the ninth again.

(but shoutout also to just happy to be here, king cheer, and henry henry. trans people! shakespeare, even!)

and the list! in increasing order of enjoyment, with pictures this year!

10. The Common Liar by Janet Adelman

no, i can't believe i'm doing this either. i can't believe i did all that preamble and the first book on my list is an academic thesis analyzing shakespeare's antony and cleopatra. but also? it's the only book anyone ever needs to write about shakespeare's antony and cleopatra. janet adelman said it all. which is cool, because i have a fixation on that play, but also sucks, because i was also trying to write an essay on it and mine wasn't nearly as good. btw if anyone wants to buy this for me, somehow, for the $120 it costs on amazon because academia is awful, i will send you my address,

9. Robert Icke's Oresteia

i don't need to say anything about this play, because it's the source of "this was always going to happen. she's been dead since the beginning." that should be enough. but after becoming deranged about the oresteia last year, i finally read this, and holy shit, this adaptation of the story is so fucking genius and icke's writing is so fucking good. it's antiwar! it's about mental illness! there's gender! the fucking ENDING! (i have a pdf if anyone would like it. anything to plug this play bark bark bark rufrufruf grrrrrr)

8. Down Girl: the Logic of Misogyny by Kate Manne

this is a little bit cheating, because i haven't finished this book yet, so maybe in the final chapters manne will say something like "what if we blew up every orphan" and i'll have to retract this. but right now it's fucking excellent! i've been making an effort to read more nonfiction lately, and this one shines; manne sets out to analyze misogyny not as a personal hatred of women that some men harbor, but as an intricate and structural system forcing women into the role of Giving (attention, affection, power, etc; sometimes their lives). and it's sooooo smart. some of it is stuff i already know (and some of it is Academic Philosophy TM that goes right over my head), but manne articulates her point excellently and i can feel it rearranging my brain, so it's going on the list for longevity and skill!

7. Dictator by Robert Harris

does this book objectively deserve to be on this list? you know what, yeah. i'll say it with my whole chest. i don't like how harris writes women and there are plenty of things to pick at in his cicero trilogy, but i had so much goddamn fun reading it that i can't not put it on the list. this was my year of being really really into cicero, and this was fun to read alongside e-pistulae. harris is sooooo good at making ancient roman politics gripping. the last scenes of this book. augh. ack. ough!

6. Detransition Baby by Torrey Peters

there are a lot of valid critiques of this one (a lot of bad critiqus, too, but such is writing literally anything about transness), but i fucking adored it. i LOVE dual timelines, i LOVE unlikable characters, and i FUCKING LOVE TRANSSEXUALITY! moreover, i love that peters isn't afraid to Go There, to poke at the messy ugly sides of transness (and queerness in general) that i think a lot of us don't like acknowledging, especially to cishet people whose view of the community is already skewed. i don’t think this is the One Great Trans Novel; i think there are a lot of great trans novels, and we need more. but this one did hit me RIGHT in the chest, and i couldn't put it down.

5. Wrath Goddess Sing by Maya Deane

the iliad but achilles is a trans woman and she's fighting the war on both mortal and divine levels and she and helen have an insane homoerotic half-god rivalry and everybody is fucking crazy. pitched as "for fans of TSOA" but as i said in my review if TSOA is a pleasant but watery iced tea then this book is gasoline laced with crack. there is a bisexual transgender threesome. i fucking love women. book of the fucking summer

4. White Teeth by Zadie Smith

i probably enjoyed wrath goddess sing more, but i can't not rank this book highly on this list. this book is such a fucking masterpiece. it's tolstoy for the modern age. it's a sprawling multi-familial multi-cultural multi-generational epic about race and gender and religion and science and humanity and britishness. smith's prose is fucking amazing; her character work is even better; this book has no plot but it uses its length sooooooo well. the first zadie smith i've read, but by god there will be more. she wrote this at TWENTY-FIVE. that's fucking CRAZY. do you know how much control over your craft you have to have to write this at twenty-five. bonkers. it is also the only enjoyable book i read in my modern literature class, so shoutout to white teeth for keeping me sane,

3. The Secret to Superhuman Strength by Alison Bechdel

this book is ostensibly about bechdel's relationship with exercise. it is actually about bechdel's relationship with her own body, her own soul, her desire for individualism in the style of the transcendentalists, transcendentalism in general, mortality, and aging. i can't really tell you more than that because i didn't actually "read" this so much as i absorbed it through my skin like a frog while trying not to tremble like a little purse dog. i am not gonna lie man i did not have a very good. um. august. or september. or october november december. so this book really could not have come at a better time. alison bechdel i am obsessed with you

2. The Essential Dykes to Watch Out For by Alison Bechdel

ALISON BECHDEL I AM OBSESSED WITH YOU!!!! this one narrowly edges out secret to superhuman strength because... well, i'm sort of rating the entire comic strip's run, and dude. holy shit. i love lesbians so much. this strip is such an important piece of lesbian history; it reminded me that a lot of the things lesbians (and LGBT people in general) argue about and deal with today are... the same things we've always argued about and dealt with, from intracommunity label discourse to global politics to hitting on women badly. but history aside--it's also just really fucking good! it's really funny! if you are a neurotic leftist, as so many of us are, it's hysterical! it's smart! it's hot! it's heartwarming! i read it over the first half of the year, in little bits and pieces, and by the end i felt like i really had gone decades with these characters. really just. so good. the power she has the range she has

1. the suzanne collins reread

okay. this one is definitely cheating. because i usually like to keep this list to books i'm reading for the first time, and i HAVE read the hunger games and the underland chronicles. but i read them, like, almost ten years ago, and i was not prepared to be so thoroughly fucking bodied by them this time around, now that i have critical thinking and analysis skills. we all know the hunger games is a fucking banger, so let me pitch the gregor the overlander series: something of a modern alice in wonderland setup, where the eleven-year-old main character falls into an underground world full of strangeness, except this world isn't whimsical, it's dangerous and stuffed with giant talking animals like bats and rats and cockroaches. there's a war on. there are plagues. there are war crimes. there is a plotline that is extremely explicitly about ethnic cleansing. there is some of the most heartbreaking fucking shit you've ever read in your goddamn life. there is also a rat who quotes macbeth and the underlanders revere a guy named bartholomew of sandwich. this series is for middle schoolers. i cried. not when i was a middle schooler reading it the first time; i mean now. so i'm breaking my no-rereads rule, because it really would be a lie to say that my best reading experience wasn't revisiting all of collins' work with my friends (yes, i read TBSOS; i think it's fine but not great). sorry to give publicity to an author who definitely doesn't need my help, but a few years ago my #1 spot went to shakespeare, so.

if you've read this far: thank you! please tell me your thoughts! tell me your favorite books of 2023! tell me which books you're excited for in 2024! and have a very lovely new year :)

[connectionterminated13]

Any other details you’ve been thinking about for the Millie and Elizabeth au?

There's a couple of things that have been floating around in my brain space... This is going to be very long...

- Relationship progression stuff with Elizabeth and Millie!

I think I've mentioned this before but they start off as like not really friends more like acquaintances. Like Elizabeth thinks Millie is really cool and wants to be her friend and Millie thinks Elizabeth is just a prep! (My immortal voice). I think they kind of start being friends after The whole Millies Crush/boyfriend dating another girl (Sorry if I'm not remembering that right it's been a billion years since I've read count the ways). Liz finds her being a pissed off mess in the Bathroom at their school and they chat about it. Millie realizes that Elizabeth isn't really that bad, But still things that she can't possibly understand Being such a perfect girl with a perfect life.

They get like a lot closer and the plot really starts Post count the ways, Elizabeth visits Millie in the hospital as she's recovering from having like most of the arteries in her neck slashed and nearly bleeding out. Elizabeth believes her about the evil murder bear, Explain the lore, And apologizes because in her eyes there's nothing they can do to stop it. Millie tells her that's stupid and that they could stop William! Elizabeth tentatively agrees and they start trying to track down William's monsters and killing/like dispatching them before they do murder.

From here on out I imagine there's a lot of smaller stories of Liz And Millie catching the evil machines, Stopping the frights before they happen and all that, Having lesbian tension. Elizabeth knows she likes Millie but She doesn't want to pursue that because the only other queer person she knows is her father the deranged murderer and also Her own fear that she's inherently just as bad as William and could hurt her the people close to her. Millie is a lot more accepting of the crush since she's goth, But she's still having a bit of a hard time like grappling with that internally.

Then some big event happens, IDK maybe a Fight with Some extra spooky monster from frights (I was thinking ralpho or My re-imagined Eleanor). And they're trapped together alone and both of them are very sure they're going to die. Liz apologizes to Millie blaming herself for their situation, She pulled Millie into this After all it's her fault, The 2 of them are going to be torn apart or stitched into something new and horrible and it's all her fault. She probably whispers something like "I'm just like him aren't I?" Millie holds her and Tells her it's both of their faults and that's okay. Even if it was a small one they made a difference. Millie also tells Elizabeth that she's nothing like her dad, She's a wonderful lady and it's sad they didn't get to be together longer. Then they kiss. Then the monster is stopped by probably Mikey and Charlie coming to the rescue. And the 2 surviving and realizing that both of them like each other decide to start dating yea!!!

- I have a weird idea of how to use Casey/the new kid from frights?

So before this you should know that I'm thinking about using my frights re imagining/ Agony creature lore for this! In my frights re imagining Casey from the new kid is an agony creature who kind of dislike runs around scamming into people's friend groups just to kill them till I get agony.

I think here he does the same thing on the side but mostly he's Kind of trying to suck up to William by like "protecting" Liz (William knows he exists and let him do his thing but also does not care at all about him in any way) . He's like one of her only friends before Millie. Elizabeth sort of knows what he is but things he's just like William's way of keeping eyes on her. After Millie comes along and Elizabeth spends most of her time with Millie, Casey gets worried that They're going to get on to him and like set him on fire or something. I think he's probably a minor antagonist, in like the first or second part...

- Abigail And her relationship with Elizabeth and also her feelings on Millie

Abigail loves Elizabeth More because she's William's daughter than because Abigail is her stepmother. William loves her so like a good wife Abigail loves her. She wants what's best for Elizabeth and what's best for her is what William wants and what William wants is Elizabeth to be like Him/a good daughter who doesn't ask questions or step out of line.

And that was going well until Millie came. Millie maid Elizabeth adventures which made William madd which made Abigail mad. These 2 girls were now ruining so many of their plans and if William didn't tell her not to Elizabeth would have been shoved in a robot by now. Also the fact that (as everyone can tell) they're clearly together. Like Abigail knows that William is not straight and how William has a weird fascination with Henry. She's done her best to steer him away from that but Elizabeth being gay too opens up that wound again. Because no matter how hard Abigail tries she'll never be the Henry that William imagines Henry is in his head.

- Zombie???

I think it would be funny if there was a running joke that Michael didn't like zombies. He finds them gross. Anything that his father makes that has to do with like weird flesh organic junk freaks him out.

Also there are like no zombies in frights so this is probably going to be the one connection terminated AU without a zombie :(..... Maybe I throw in the kids from the breaking wheel I don't know.

[thewhizzyhead]

before I sleep, here is my definitive ranking on all the NPMD songs and some rambles on why I placed them there - also the ranking is based on how much I vibe with them (music production and lyricism have different rankings)

1. Hatchet Town (aka the hatchetfield trilogy theme song like this tune perfectly encapsulates the chaos Hatchetfield has to go through with every Starkid project pos-2018 and I love it - kinda wish it was a number that is more integrated with the plot with the kids tho BUT I REALLY DID LIKE that this melody was quite prominent in the other songs too)

2. High School is Killing Me (I've watched many teen centered musicals and believe me when I say that this song is one of, if not, the best introduction numbers out there for this genre - also it's a really great opening hook for a show)

3. Nerdy Prudes Must Die (FUCKING AMAZING HONESTLY - amazing way to REALLY re-establish a villain back from the dead and to establish the main theme for the nerds here: "I'm Not A Loser" (tho i fucking wish that motif was used a bit more))

4. Just For Once (everyone cheer for Lauren Lopez flexing not just her high tier soprano skills, but also how amazing of a fucking actor she can be like the concept of this song is quite layered and to pull it off both comedically and emphatically takes great lyrical and acting prowess)

5. The Summoning (a well-anticipated onstage introduction to all 5 of the LiB that balances out befuddling neon-entertainment with genuine fucking menace)

7. Cool As I Think I Am Reprise (A FUCKING GENIUS REPRISE I CAN'T STRESS ENOUGH HOW COOL I FIND THEM RECONTEXTUALIZING THE OG SONG AND IF I LOVED YOU TO FIT THE SITUATION AND BOTH OF THE CHARACTERS GROWTH. LIKE IN TERMS OF THEMATIC IMPLICATIONS WITH CHARQCTER DEVELOPMENT, THIS SONG AND ITS SCENE WOULD BE THE TOP)

6. If I Loved You (I think this song could be a bit more honestly like I know how much Starkid has explored Steph and Pete's relationship in their other projects and I was really hoping that they would have it more portrayed here - however the song is a bop nonetheless and it matches neatly with their themes and the harmonies are top tier. I placed this higher than the next just due to my personal bias like I really do like the song)

8. Dirty Dudes Must Die (A GREAT TWIST THAT MAKES ME WANT ANOTHER MUSICAL ABOUT GRACE CHASITY'S DERANGED SELF - also the new context of the song Grace is reprising here makes her a villain even scarier than MAX of all people but that's just me)

9. Literal Monster (A very catchy beat and well structured song that provides a good introduction to a jock-bully with the god complex. also kinda foreshadowing to nerdy prudes must die)

10. Cool As I Think I Am (the instrumentation reminded me of Dear Evan Hansen ngl fjsjd but it really does sound like an I-Want song from a teen-musical which is of course what they are going for - it sounds very nice and earnest though and I loved how it was utilised in the reprise. However I still fucking wish that the I'm Not A Loser motif was used more)

11. Dirty Girl (look I'm sorry for ranking this quite low on the list but like there is no fucking way I'm using this as bait to lure other people in like they'd be scared away I'm sorry fjdjs BUT I love how Will and Angela perform this though like top tier starkid performances ever - its not just what I would listen to on repeat personally jgjdjs)

12. Go Go Nighthawks! (This one gets plus points because of FUCK YOU CLIVESDALE GO GET FUCKED. otherwise its nice and cheery and perfectly shows how happy everyone is without Max but um I kinda wish it could be a bit more especially in terms of showing how happy the other nerds are now that Max is gone but that's just me)

13. Bully The Bully + Bury The Bully (Look I couldn't decide which was better like they both are the same melodies so like gjxjs these two are cute though and I liked seeing the 5 kids bonding in Bully The Bully since we don't get that many scenes with them)

14. The Best Of You (the pop-punk happy number is a staple of teen-centered musicals and it does really sound nice - just isn't that much of a standout compared to the others.)

[thewitchqueenofharrenhal]

I believe you're one of the most level-headed people from HOTD whose blogs I enjoy, and I want to know what you think of this.

https://www.tumblr.com/kissinganakin/746827974767198208/i-dont-care-what-anyone-says-bc-was-necessary

That’s very kind of you to say 🫶

Unfortunately I don’t have much to say lol, it’s a subpar intellectually lacking take. It’s my experience that people who try to justify things like fictional child murder don’t really care about how it affected the plot and are more focused on getting a *sick burn bro* against their *enemy team* and having bloodshed as entertainment, which like valid I suppose if thats what you like?

However taking on a *Team Black perspective* B&C was abysmal for the Team & specifically for Rhaenyra.

Why because it wasn’t necessary lol and did nothing for Rhaenyra or poor dead Lucerys.

(I can’t even touch on the Aegon threw a party thus child murder is fine hypocrisy when we know Daemon was actively doing the exact same thing when Baelon died. Literally the exact same thing. However team brain rot will have people thinking one was just emotional coping 🥺 and the other warranted child murder. )

Anyways though back on point. B&C does nothing for Rhaenyra positively or emotionally. B&C doesn’t avenge her child’s murderer. B&C is used to frame her as vile and deranged and it works. Why does it work because why would a feudal era society blame Daemon for B&C when it can blame the woman instead?

There is a reason GRRM doesn't let B&C occur and then be brushed away. No he brings back Helaena and her dead children as a key piece of propaganda to have Rhaenyra's own city turned against her. So much so she is expelled from it. Daemon's depravity was used to bring upon Rhaenyra's demise and it really didn't have to be that way. If Daemon was intelligent there were a number of options that could have actually made a positive difference for Rhaenyra and Team Black but ultimately B&C left Rhaenyra two sides both which were terrible. Either A she agreed that her sister should be tortured and her nephews murdered by a literal r*pist putting her in line with the likes of kinslaying Aemond or B she can't control the man she married who is going to ascend beside her on the throne.

The man she was named heir in place of to keep off the throne. The whole act just makes her as vile as Team Green who was murdering folks to get the throne, when she had an active upper hand being the individual who was wronged. There is also something especially ironic about George having these situations where Rhaenyra for better or for worse didn't necessarily *stand with women* come back to bite her big time. Mind you this isn't a judgement of Rhaenyra rather .... We have Daemon in Rhaenyra's name having an innocent woman and her child pay for a crime the males in her family committed and then that same situation is brought back to be used against Rhaenyra when the small folk rise against her partly in Helaena's name. We have Corlys telling her she is special and she doesn't need to extend inheritance rights to the two young ladies asking for it only for them to come back later and refuse her help when she needs it.

But anyways, the argument being well "Aegon had to suffer" falls apart pretty easily when you again look at the source material and realize Aegon was perfectly fine remarrying and having additional children. Additionally if the point is nonsensical vengeance and suffering well then the justification for the atrocity that was B&C can be used to justify Rhaenyra's own murder as Aegon avenging his dead son.

It's almost like slaughter breds slaughter and that was never the appropriate line of action especially not against innocents. Did Lucerys deserve to die, no. Did Jahaerys deserve to die, no. It's almost like it's all a pointless war. (Also the point of Rhaenyra being a bad mother I disagree with lol, I think she objectively loved her children very much, did she place them in a bit of precarious situation having them, oh absolutely but I think she adored them and was ignorant of the level of danger she was in. )

[spilledmilkfkdies]

hello, i wonder if the wizards were to swap their powers around so they all got one of their brother’s powers, who would be most vs least suited for each power??

Hi yes hello anon, I work for @solariaswitch, or rather she's my investor and owns like 80% of me. But!! I'll gladly take the ask off her hands, hope that's okay <3

I was gonna type this separated by power, but I noticed that it didn't give me the chance to talk about every wizard as much as I wanted because I'm a little stupid, so I'm doing it per wizard instead.

『 OGRON 』

I can't start this off without putting the deranged take out there that, considering his own main power, he might've handled/used the other wizards' powers before. It's not impossible. Would probably put him at an advantage if a power swap situation were to occur. That being said? I think he'd like Anagan's least in a combat setting specifically, but not by a lot. Could definitely still work with it if necessary, I just don't see Ogron as someone who enjoys running for a LONG period of time, let's just say that.

Now, would he like Duman's or Gantlos' better? I'm gonna say Gantlos'. Do I have a solid reason beyond 'the enhanced senses might throw him off a little'? Yeah, actually. Ogron's way of using it could perhaps take it to a different level than Gantlos, not necessarily better or worse, just different. Uses it on a smaller scale rather than go full natural disaster, doing less damage overall, but being more focused and precise. Safe option. I think he can do it.

『 GANTLOS 』

Do NOT give this poor man Anagan's super speed either. I keep imagining his legs moving before the rest of him is ready, just violently yoinking him along, pulling him in a direction with the smallest step. I'd like to think his movements have weight to them, if that makes sense? So giving him powers that are all about swiftness and literally speed just doesn't sound like a good idea. Would probably be scary though.

I'm on the fence whether he'd handle shapeshifting okay. On one hand I think the enhanced senses would negatively impact him the least, but I don't see him enjoying the actual transforming part of the whole thing, which is pretty important. BUT would he like it more than Ogron's? I don't know either. I mean, the converting damage into strength part could work out for him, I guess? Both powers are quite versatile in the sense that they're both about adapting and doing so quickly, and I already said quick is simply not for him. Okay unhinged take, give him shapeshifting. Ask me to elaborate and I'll disappear mysteriously.

『 ANAGAN 』

Okay so, I'm gonna come out and say he would dislike Gantlos' powers for the same reason Gantlos would dislike his, sort of. It's not his tempo and he's very light on his feet, tries to stomp and might break his leg. Not ideal. I'm gonna come out a second time to add shapeshifting to his 'no' list as well. He likes his powers a bit more uhhh normal. Let's put it like that.

Give him Ogron's powers. PUT HIM IN CHARGE. The audacity of me to go "he likes his powers normal" and then give him this wow. Anyway, I think that out of everyone, he'd handle them best. Quick thinker, a straightforward plan enthusiast, what more could you need? The major downside of it is of course that his own powers don't allow for as much different use as Ogron's do, but that'd be a good thing. I believe in him. He's level-headed enough for it to not get to him, if that makes sense?

『 DUMAN 』

I think he'd be upset with any power that's not his, honestly, also like a majority of the powers, if not all, would genuinely drive him insane and I'm not sure if I mean that affectionately. Gantlos' seismic bs and super strength? Suddenly develops some very serious anger issues. Or enhances the ones he already has, depending on how you view him. Goes clap clap and stomp stomp for funsies, throws cars, experiences the most unhinged tantrum known to man and makes people explode. Probably wouldn't do too well with Ogron's powers either, the general population, I mean. COMPLETELY loses the plot. Being able to pretty much copy any power simply cannot be good for him. Not to dunk on my boy and say he has power hungry hysteria potential. But. Yes I will say that.

Least offending option? Anagan's speed. Final answer. Since he's already pretty physical in his combat style, y'know? It'd be a bigger challenge for him to dress in a way that allows for mobility than it is to figure out how to work with super speed. Might turn into a speedy meat grinder, but just put a leash on him or something, easiest power to keep him in check with probably. Hopefully.

To summarize:

Give Ogron Gantlos' powers, Gantlos gets Duman's, Anagan gets Ogron's and Duman gets Anagan's. That is best case scenario, least problems for everyone. Worst case scenario though? There's some overlap so unless multiple people can get Anagan's, there isn't really a worst. His powers are not popular, poor guy. No actually, the WORST scenario is the one where Duman gets all.

Crazy how the original Trix ask was mine?? Go figure lmao.

[seasurfacefullofclouds1]

Just heard about styles unreleased song and honestly the only thing that still surprises me is how he got all these women brainwashed, he is one of the most disgusting male celebrities out there but still he gets no backlash, look at celebs like kanye west, justin bieber, matty healy etc. get constantly dragged through mud (rightfully) for the way they treat women while styles who does even worst than some of them (i'm not well informed but i believe the worst thing bieber did (publicly) in the last couple years was not dress up for his wife's event, still he got called mysoginistic and idk what else) stays untouched, i swear i can't understand how all these women (younger and older) willingly decide to close one or both eyes when it comes to him and if it wasn't enough they go preach his verb to anyone everywhere so he appears to the world as this kind and genuine guy (maybe a bit dumb) but with 0 bad intentions and genuinely worried about women rights. I'd say white privilege but bieber and healy as many others are as white as one can be and often get "tortured" by the general public, so i just can't understand, styles could totally fit in that group but somehow he gets a free pass for every shit he says or does, like WHY???

Bieber, Healy, Kanye etc. say what they say and do what they do on their own volition. They stand behind their words and actions no matter how cringe. They are people with actual personalities, faults and all.

Harry never says or does anything. Ever. For his entire solo career, the only things he says are scripted for him, because Harry’s scrubbed image (heavily scrubbed on Google searches) cannot tolerate a single criticism. “Harry Styles™️” is a mirage created by an industry oiled by marketing. He’s a blank slate, the Ken doll of the music industry.

Sometimes, an inevitable impromptu answer comes out of Harry that creates viral moments for sounding incredibly vapid and privileged (“Sexuality is fun”), ignorant (“These things don’t happen to people like me”), or inane (“Camp is about fun,” “A movie that feels like a movie”).

His fans forgive him because he never acknowledges anything, and the industry rushes in to smooth things out for their money guy. Fans bicker amongst themselves, but it is all static noise. The public hears Variety, Rolling Stone, People, who say Styles walks on water.

The bits of personality we see in his songs show Harry to be self-focused to the point of pathology. Not only did he feel like the victim in a woman’s abortion story, but he wrote and recorded at least one, perhaps two songs about it?! He was so brave?

For the anons in my box insisting that the song ‘Kiwi’ was about Louis’ baby, do you not see how creepy and unethical, not to mention incredibly invasive, deranged, obsessive, in writing a song about someone else’s child? What kind of person does that? And what kind of weird adult songwriters would help him?

Even writing a song about your partner’s most private, painful moment (Kiwi, possibly High Tide) and making it about you, a world-famous superstar? And making a music video starring kids? What kind of asshole does that??

I used to believe these insane theories when I was a Larrie, and I regret the excuses I made for Harry because I wanted to believe in a happily-ever-after story. Knowing everything about Harry’s solo career since, I feel deeply humbled by Sony’s power. Fans really are incredibly malleable.

That’s probably the answer, anon, as to why the crowd hasn’t turned on Harry. Harry is cooperative, compliant, and complicit, and Harry loves money more than he loves having a personality.

Industry supports him, and industry will always be more powerful than a willing, young, idealistic fanbase. As long as he’s the cash cow, industry will never let Harry down.

Thoughts from a friend:

The way singing Kiwi energized Harry ... gross. If it’s about a partner he got pregnant, gross, cruel and demeaning to the partner. If it’s about Louis or Liam’s situations, gross, cruel and demeaning to Louis, Liam, their respective partners and sons. The fact that fans think of Harry as sensitive is perhaps the biggest joke of all. There is no sensitivity there. High Tides is callous and cold. His fans are angry because they know it’s awful. His lyrics about women, unscripted comments, behavior, sense of humor show insecurity and self-focus, and a frat boy level of maturity. There is zero sensitivity in Harry Styles. TPWK applies only to him.

[super-hero-confessions]

Billy Butcher is a genuinely worse person than Homelander and this is plain to see when you actually read the comics.

Homelander actually feels disgusted with himself when he does bad things. And he only does them because he's been led to believe he was horrible without actually having done any of the shit he's blackmailed for in the photos and videos. Including what happened to Becky.

If it's not clear. It was Black Noir, a clone of Homelander, who put on his costume, did those terrible things and enjoyed them, and then took pictures and videos to frame Homelander. Noir was the one to rape Becky, but Homelander got the blame.

And the very few things we actually see Homelander do show us how much revulsion he feels from doing them, to the point where he throws up and has a visceral reaction, like he doesn't actually want to and isn't used to it. Asking himself "what have I done?".

That's far from a spoiler at this point, these comics have been out in full, for several years now. I'm not gonna pull punches or be dishonest about it like some people confessing weird out of context bullshit either.

In contrast.

Butcher kills all of his friends, excuse me. All of the people he used and lied to and made believe he was actually their friend, with no remorse or second thought. Or at least tries to.

Kimiko. Frenchie. MM. Even Vas (Love Sausage). All of them die by Billy's hands. For no other reason beyond.

"They're supes."

Despite the fact that this is after he discovered he was wrong about Homelander the whole fucking time.

Down to trying to kill MM's momma. Down to killing Janine's fucking mother in front of her so that she witnesses it. And then makes sure MM knows that for Billy, he "ain't got no mates".

Hughie is the only one to survive because after killing the others, Butcher threatens to kill Starlight and says he won't stop unless Hughie stops him.

There's no question here. Butcher was always the bigger monster. He just didn't have the power to be as bad as Homelander could be. Potentially.

Potentially. And that is a huge fucking key word.

Barring the fact that Homelander never actually met that potential or even wanted it. Noir was the actual monster, using Billy to confuse him into believing he had, so he would try. Just so the clone could swoop in kill him.

Imagine that.

And there are still people deranged enough to think there's any kind of contest on who's worse between Billy and Homelander?

Fuck's sake, this guy immediately kills a fucking premie baby instead of trying to pacify it because it's terrified out of its mind and has powers it can't control. With a lamp.

I love the show, I love the portrayals and the jobs done by the actors. I think it does a great job touching on the important topics and themes in the comics while connecting it to current events. I do hope it has a different ending. But one thing's clear.

While the characters are fundamentally the same at their cores. They made Billy softer and sweeter while they made Homelander harder and more ruthless in order to make the dynamic more mainstream and less controversial. Which is honestly a bit disappointing.

It also makes me a little worried because if they don't find a way to navigate that well, it may mean they've messed up the finish line before we could ever reach it. They could definitely go for something more comic accurate or even include Billy killing Ryan and just not caring anymore as per typical Butcher fashion, but given that they've already chickened out on some of the more intense stuff, I can't say it's high in the hopes factor.

And a happy ending doesn't exactly feel appropriate either.

But who knows, maybe the set up is there specifically to make everything hurt that much more in the end if or when Billy betrays everyone.

And this is coming from someone who is ecstatic to see Homelander go on a chaotic rampage of blood, death, and destruction. Bring it the fuck on you goddamn chaos cockteases.

But yeah, no. It's no contest. Billy is a far worse character than Homelander in the comics, and he has the potential to get a lot worse in the show. He's not there yet, but it's pretty clear he actively wants to be and it's grating him that he isn't yet.

Guess it'll be interesting to see if that comes to fruition or if there's even some crazy twist that shows us Homelander isn't as bad as people think.

[mono-red-menace]

i spent quite a while online trying to prove i was a good tranny. like trying to prove that i was worthy of existence out of a fear that i would be targeted. yk? i've been a person with intrusive thoughts for a long time and i would often see my thoughts as my "true colours" even though i didn't want them. anything over than fighting them full-on was an admission of my true horrid nature.

this was exacerbated by my attempts to get therapy yk. like coming out as trans and being told to my face, through gritted teeth, that it's "fine" if i'm trans. i'm "not going to hurt someone. yet. especially not children." from someone who was supposed to help me. to make me feel better. to make me less scared. outright telling me that i'm a paedophile literally just for being trans. a teenager.

or any attempt to get help with my intrusive thoughts, "i'm thinking these awful things and i don't want them. they scare me and they won't stop," to therapists, and met with obvious disgust and contempt. like because i'm thinking these things, because they jump into my brain, even though they scare me, depress me, make me want to tear my skin off, they're an example of the "real me." it's nothing wrong with my brain, obviously, to them. it's a perversion. i'm not someone who is deeply hurt and scared. i'm disgusting to them.

the thoughts were like. made worse by it too. yk. asking for like. help. like "surely these thoughts don't make me wrong, right? surely it's just a brain thing, surely i'm good, i'm not bad?" and it being met with "you're a disgusting person. you're a pervert. you're going to hurt children. you're violent and deranged." really doesn't make the thoughts better. you know.

they got worse.

much more violent, much more sexual, much more often. constant thoughts of how i could ruin people in so many ways. and i'm the only one experiencing them. no one even knows what im thinking. and i'm so distressed. they're proof that i'm secretly a horrible person. i have to prove that i'm not. i can't let the thoughts win. i don't want them to win.

so like i wanted to like. really prove that it was wrong and that i wasn't bad and that i was a good tranny and i'm a normal person and i don't constantly get bombarded with horrible, disgusting thoughts. i wanted to prove that i was good. even though I believed my thoughts were proof of how horrible and wrong i was. how much i deserved to be locked up. so i also felt a guilt about it. you know. like not only am i horrid and deranged, but i'm also pretending i'm not. and for what? why would i? i obviously had some ulterior motive if i was doing it. i didn't even know what it was. but i could guess. there were so many reasons why i could be pretending to be good.

anyway. the intrusive thoughts have been getting better now that i'm in a caring environment. and a bit less now that i'm not around people as much. i still get the intrusions of killing this person/animal, of sexually assaulting this person/animal. but they're a lot less common. and now I know that an intrusive thought isn't something that proves i'm wrong. or bad. it's something that proves i'm hurt.

i don't want to do that stuff. i'm scared of doing that stuff. it terrifies me, and i obsess over it because it terrifies me. you know? so in my getting better with dealing with it and getting better with accepting that it's not what i want, I've been getting better at not feeling the overwhelming urge to prove that i'm actually good. you know?

idk i just. dont talk about this because it makes me feel like people will think im a bad person. i dont want people to think i'm. a bad person. i want to prove that i'm good. i want to prove that the thoughts aren't me.

talk about intrusive thoughts online, actual talk about actual intrusive thoughts, has been really helpful to me. i've been internalising the ideas in them. countering what was thrown at me with the new knowledge of what intrusive thoughts are. and in accepting the thoughts are evidence of pain, not inherent badness, they've lessened.

anyways. it's funny how often the help i need to get over deep-seated issues in my brain comes from a source outside of therapy. and many of the things that Made Me Worse came Directly From Therapists. guess that's what it's like being a trans woman growing up im a conservative state. lmao.

[shizuokadivision]

What’s this? Two things in front of Kanon’s door: a large package big enough to fit a human and nearby it, a strange-looking microwave oven that from its many modifications, couldn’t even be called a microwave anymore; its leg lightly pushing said box to be followed by it taking out a box of chocolates from its interior to put on top of the larger package.

The large box opens to the sight of an unconscious man with mossy green hair in awfully gaudy clothing, his body laid on top of a bunch of roses, his own blood seeping onto them from a fatal blow on his head. Stuck upon his right ankle are three glittery tranquilizer darts.

And about that chocolate box, there was a note, or rather series of notes…

To: Kanon-san

Happy Valentines, if you even celebrate that shit, I barely do.

My guild and I caught a good-for-nothing pimp in the wild, do whatever with the body.

I’d have more things to say but I’d rather tell them in person, y’know?

P.s, it could regain consciousness by the time it gets there. —⚡️

yeah uhh thats his way of saying he wants to be your next test subject LOL — Ψ

That’s bullshit. ⬆️

When Kanon was notified that something was on her doorstep, she was annoyed. Reika and Sakura were already there at her “home” with Reika trying her damn hardest to get her to sing at her Gala tonight, and Kanon didn't have the patience to deal with any more visitors. Kanon raised her eyebrow at the sight of the moving microwave, giving her a box of chocolate. She had to admit that it was a new one. 

However, the sight of the unconscious male made a deranged smile spread across Kanon's face. Her eyes flickering alight with pure madness. When suddenly, much to her displeasure, Reika snatched the note out of her hands to read with Sakura looking over her shoulder.  

“Oh my God…oh my God!” Reika shouted, losing her mind. “Someone sent you a Valentine’s! You of all people!”

“I…I can't right now…” Sakura sputtered, not wanting to believe this. “Who the hell would send you of all people a fucking Valentine’s!” 

“I know, right? Like out of all people to ask to be your Valentine, you pick Kanon of all people? The psychotic bitch who's known for cutting people open?” 

“I have to worry about this person's mental stability if they wanna get Kanon's dead black heart. Are they okay? Do they need mental counseling?” 

“In case you two have forgotten, I'm still here.” 

Ignoring the mad scientist, Reika and Sakura continued to scream about the fact that someone sent Kanon a Valentine’s. Rolling her eyes at their dramatics, Kanon bit into one of the chocolates she received. She didn't care for this damned holiday besides all the chocolate she got on a discount when it was all over. Still, at least her sender had the decency to get her gifts she would like. 

Speaking of gifts, Kanon noticed that the man was starting to move more than before. Ah, it seemed like the tranquilizers were beginning to wear off. Well, it would be rude of her to waste the specimen someone had gifted her. Perhaps today wouldn’t be so goddamn awful. At least she got a “bloody Valentine’s” out of it. 

“Well, I suppose I must thank whoever sent me this. Hahahaha! Fine, let's meet one day. I wonder if you're brave enough.”  

[the-kcm-muggleborn]

Spin Off

"Kind For You"

"Triwizard Tournament" -Part 1

Fandom: Hogwarts Legacy

O/C: Ominis Gaunt x Edwart Thompson (My OC)

Warnings: Little angsty, swearing

Word count: 834

“Don't do it. Just don't do it. Don't… Do it." Those words were constantly repeated in Edwart's head as he went against his boyfriend's wishes… again. He was fucked. He knew Ominis wouldn't understand nor forgive him for a longer period... if ever. The type of pressure Edwart accidentally set on himself was deranged. Edwart hated himself for getting talked into putting his name into the goblet of fire. 

As all the students were seated in the great hall awaiting Headmaster Black to pick out 3 champions from 3 different magical schools. 

“...And lastly” Professor Black sounded through the Loud commotion coming from students. “The Hogwarts Champion! Edwart Thompson!” 

If the schools before Hogwarts were loud then Edwart thought he was going to lose hearing every Hogwarts student screamed in excitement and congratulated the eighteen-year-old boy every one of them. Except Ominis. Edwart couldn't look. He knew he fucked up big time but decided to push his guilt down and just enjoy the moment of glory.

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“...Edwart Thompson!” 

Saying Ominis couldn't believe his ears was an understatement. That being said, he quickly had to cover his ears to not go deaf because all the students around him exploded into such excitement. 

“Sebastian?” He learned towards his best friend. When the great hall quieted down a bit. “Were you aware he had put his name in the goblet of fire?”

“Well…” Sebastian spoke with hesitation but when he saw Ominis murderous expression he quickly explained. “I’ve heard rumours. But I didn't know he had actually done it. I must say I'm impressed “

Sebastian said with a cheeky smile Ominis could hear.

“I can't believe he has done it…” Ominis said disappointed.

“Honestly I can't believe it either. But probably for a different reason.” 

When students were finally dismissed Ominis waited a while for Edwart when he finally heard footsteps and smelled pine cones and rain cologne he knew it was him.

"Ominis I-" Edwart began with hesitation.

But Ominis's voice interrupted. It was firm and cold. “The Undercroft. Now.” His tone made Edwart swallow hard...

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 As they stepped into the Undercroft. Edwart was feeling hot. He didn't know if it was from excitement and leftover adrenaline or the fact that Ominis was about to scold him into deep ground… or break up with Edwart entirely, Ed certainly wouldn't blame him.

“WHAT were you thinking!? Or were you thinking at all?” Ominis raised his voice like Edwart never heard before.

“I was thinking if anyone can submit and do it I can as well,” Edwart said with a fake confidence. Sebastian has rubbed on him way too much.

“You are not that daft! You know people die during this tournament! So what did you do it for!? Glory? Money? Or maybe you wanted to feel the thrill of the fifth year all over again. We've talked abou-”

“No Ominis. You talked. I wanted to enter the tournament from the beginning. But then Natty put her name in. So I-”

“Recklessly followed. Why doesn't it surprise me!” Ominis pinched the bridge of his nose in exasperation. As he started pacing. “I should've known I couldn't stop you…”

“I’m sorry I wasn't truthful. I tried to tell you many times but I- I just couldn't… and I didn't even think they’d pick me.”

“What now?” Ominis stopped. “I am furious with you. Putting yourself in danger. Again. I don't want you dead nor hurt, but as always, you don’t listen to my valid concerns!” 

“I need to do this Ominis.” Edwart put both hands on his cheeks trying to calm him down. “You know I am more than capable and I need the mone-” 

Ominis stepped away from Edwart. “So it is about the money! I told you money isn't a problem. I can-”

"No, Ominis. I will not accept your money!" Edwart turned away. He took a deep breath “...Turned out my 'lovely' father left me with a long debt I have to pay off! I found out about it only recently. It's quite a lot. More than I would ever be able to borrow. I was trying to earn money for a longer while so I could buy back my  mother's old ring. But now it remains impossible.” 

"You should have accepted my money. Instead of doing this! Why won't you let me help you?" Ominis put a hand on his forhead in frustration.

“And I’ve told you no! I want my own money not given or loaned by anyone. else! I can do this!” 

“Edwart… Why are you like this?” Ominis put a gentle hand on  Eddie’s  shoulder.  “You don't have anything to prove. You'll only hurt yourself with this pride. And…” Ominis took a deep breath as he walked past Edwart. “I'm not sure I can stand to watch it happen...” And with that, Ominis left the Undercroft. Leaving Edwart guilt-ridden.

- - - - - - - - - AUTOR'S NOTES- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Thank you so much for reading this Part 1 of this spin off. The Tri wizard tournament is written in parts it absolutely is not written in a canon way as a alternative route remember. Hope you enjoyed it<3 More to come soon.