#I didn't shatter yall

[lotus-pear]

regret

[hhonghu]

No offense cause I love your theme, but everytime I try to see your blog, it's like a flashbang. 🥹🫰

ackkkkk :(( sorry!! i must've overlooked that people has different themese than mine ;; i have mine in dark mode so i mostly don't think abt the brightness too much...

fshdjkjfh i'll see what i can do ^^ i hope your eyes isn't strained so much while visiting me :(

[yonalilis]

.

[taurasiluvr]

YOU TOLD ME YOUR NEW MAN DON'T MAKE YOU NUT, THAT'S A DAMN SHAME──BUECKERS⁵

how you can help palestine

★ been thinking about this concept for a while, idk why but i love this trope (yall we know i do...) anyway... here it is!

 ⠀ ── ⠀warnings ;; nsfw under the cut, mdni. smut with plot, a lot of cheating (on r's gf), fingering, scissoring, oral (r. receiving), descriptions of not very fulfilling sex.

 ⠀ ── ⠀word count ;; 2.5k

 ⠀ ── ⠀ry's notes ;; also i feel like i need to add this quick little note... I DO NOT CONDONE CHEATING GUYS. THIS IS FICTIONAL LMAOO

"she just... doesn't do it, for me, you know?" you sighed as you pulled your drink closer to your chest, taking a sip of it before leaning back into the couch. "she's sweet and... funny but..."

but she can't make you orgasm. you couldn't bring yourself to say it, it was embarrassing.

paige let out a small laugh as she looked up at you from the floor. "can't make you cum?"

you cringed at her use such a vulgar word but yeah, she couldn't make you cum. you smiled down at her before nodding slowly. "yeah," you whispered back.

you and paige had a brief friends with benefits about a few months ago but called it off because you wanted a relationship and paige didn't. however, you guys both agreed to stay friends because you valued each other's company too much to let go completely.

paige smirked as she threw a fry into her mouth. "well, it's not exactly rocket science, you know. maybe she just needs some guidance."

you chuckled, shaking your head. "yeah, but it's not just that. it's like... there's no spark, no chemistry."

"you only feel that way cause she hasn't made you cum, have you told her... you know, what you like?" paige asked teasingly as she looked up at you, her lips still curved into that damned smirk.

you rolled your eyes, your face flushing slightly. the thing is, no one knew you in an intimate level like paige ─ she's the only one that's managed to give you an earth shattering, breathtaking orgasm.

you sighed, feeling the weight of the conversation. "no, i haven't told. it's just... awkward. plus, it won't make a difference."

she's too small, too delicate, too dainty for your own liking. her fingers don't stretch you out how paige's used to, they move awkwardly and she certainly has no idea what she's doing with her damn tongue.

she doesn't circle your clit, doesn't push your hips into the mattress, doesn't absolutely wreck you with her strap (that she hasn't even bought yet)...

"y/n? earth to y/n?" paige chuckled before she snapped a finger in front of your face, drawing you out of your thoughts.

you felt your soul jump out of your body as you turned to meet paige's amused gaze. she could practically read all your dirty thoughts as you squeezed your thighs together, feeling a wave of frustration and desire wash over you.

paige's knowing look only made it worse, and you couldn't help but let out a nervous laugh. "sorry, just... got lost in thought," you muttered, avoiding her gaze.

paige leaned in closer, her eyes sparkling with mischief. "lost in thought, huh? care to share with the class?"

you rolled your eyes, but the blush creeping up your cheeks betrayed you. "it's just... she's so different from you. in every way. and not in a good way."

paige's smirk softened into a more understanding expression. "look, it's okay to have preferences. but you owe it to yourself to be honest about what you need. if she's not doing it for you, maybe it's time to rethink things."

you sighed, knowing she was right. "i just... don't want to hurt her feelings. she's really sweet, and i don't want to come off as ungrateful or shallow."

paige shrugged, taking another fry. "it's not shallow to want a fulfilling relationship. and if she's as sweet as you say, she'll understand. maybe she'll even be willing to learn and try new things."

you nodded, appreciating her perspective but still feeling a bit unsure. "yeah, i guess so. it's just... hard."

paige gave you a reassuring smile. "hey, whatever happens, you've got me in your corner. and if you ever need a refresher course on what you like..." she trailed off, waggling her eyebrows suggestively.

you laughed, the tension easing slightly. "i'll keep that in mind, paige."

──

"yeah, just like... just like that," your breathing was heavy as your girlfriend's tongue delved into you, her eyes completely focused on you. "focus on... my clit,"

she was so eager to please, it was almost endearing. key word: almost. all you could think about right now was paige, you didn't have to mutter a word and she knew exactly what to do and how to do it. plus, she was the more... dominant one.

her tentative licks and hesitant movements only amplified your frustration. you couldn't help but compare her to paige, whose confidence and skill left you breathless every time.

"yeah, that's it," you encouraged, trying to guide her as best you could. "just... a little more pressure."

she complied, but the lack of confidence was palpable. your mind wandered back to those moments with paige — the way she effortlessly took control, her assertive yet tender touch, the way she seemed to know your body better than you did, better than anyone did. it was maddening.

your girlfriend's eyes flicked up to meet yours, seeking approval. you forced a smile, trying to mask your disappointment. "doing great," you lied, hoping she couldn't sense your lack of enthusiasm. you let out a soft whimper for good measure, your girlfriend humming in approval.

as she continued, your thoughts drifted deeper into memories of paige. you remembered the way she would press your hips into the mattress, her fingers working you expertly, her lips curling into that confident smirk as she brought you to the brink again and again.

that damned smirk, god.

your breath hitched involuntarily, and your girlfriend mistook it for a sign that she was doing something right. you felt a pang of guilt but couldn't shake the fantasy that had taken hold of your mind.

"keep going," you murmured, though your thoughts were miles away. you closed your eyes and imagined paige there with you, her presence overwhelming and intoxicating.

you missed her fingers, missed her tongue but most importantly, missed her.

and suddenly, the sensations began to blur, your girlfriend's efforts merging with the vivid recollections of paige. your body responded more to the memory than the reality as your girlfriend's pace quickened, her eagerness evident. paige's voice echoed in your mind, commanding and reassuring, guiding you to that sweet release...

you finally came, letting out a soft moan. your body convulsed for a moment as your girlfriend moaned against your bundle of nerves, causing vibrations to go through your whole body.

your girlfriend's face lit up with pride, but you couldn't shake the bittersweet taste of the moment. she had tried so hard, but it wasn't enough. it wasn't paige.

when the post-nut clarity finally came, you were left only with your thoughts and the lingering guilt. it wasn't cheating... right? your girlfriend climbed on to your lap as she began kissing you, her excitement evident.

what the fuck were you gonna do now?

──

"how tall is she again?" paige whispered into your ear as her hands found their place at your hips. she was behind you, and you could practically feel her smirk.

both of your gazes were on your oblivious girlfriend, talking to one of your friends. you were at a houseparty and the tension between you and paige was palpable. you couldn't help but be drawn to her, even as your girlfriend mingled with the others, completely unaware of the charged atmosphere between you and paige.

"she's 5'3"," you whispered back, feeling a shiver run down your spine as Paige's breath tickled your ear. her hands on your hips were possessive, grounding you in a way that felt both thrilling and dangerous.

"she's cute," paige murmured, her fingers gently tracing circles on your waist. "she hasn't made you cum yet?"

you swallowed hard, her words hitting you like a ton of bricks. "it's complicated," you replied, trying to keep your voice steady.

paige chuckled softly, her lips brushing against your ear. "doesn't have to be. you know what you want. and i know how to give it to you."

your pulse quickened, your body responding to her proximity. paige had always had this effect on you, and being so close to her now, with your girlfriend just a few feet away, made it all the more intense.

"paige, we can't..." you started, but the words felt hollow even as you said them. you weren't sure if you were trying to convince her or yourself.

"why not?" she challenged, her hands sliding up to your waist, pulling you closer. "you deserve to be with someone who makes you feel alive, who knows how to touch you, how to please you."

you closed your eyes, struggling to ignore the fire Paige was stoking within you. "not that simple," you whispered, though deep down, you knew it was.

paige turned you slightly, forcing you to meet her gaze. her eyes were dark, filled with a mix of desire and determination. "it is that simple," she insisted. "you just have to decide what you really want."

your girlfriend's laughter floated over from where she was chatting with your friend, a stark contrast to the turmoil you felt inside. You glanced over at her, feeling a pang of guilt. she was sweet, caring, and had done nothing to deserve this.

but as paige's hands tightened their grip on you, you couldn't deny the magnetic pull she had on you. the history between you two, the unmatched chemistry, and the way she made you feel — like you were the only person in the world — was impossible to ignore.

and that was how you ended up in paige's dorm, her knuckles deep inside you.

your mind was a whirlwind of thoughts, but your body knew exactly what it wanted. paige's fingers moved with expert precision, hitting all the right spots, driving you wild with pleasure.

"fuck, paige," you gasped, your back arching as waves of ecstasy coursed through you. she smirked, her eyes locked onto yours, her dominance evident in every calculated movement.

"see?" she murmured, her voice low and filled with satisfaction. "this is what you need. someone who knows your body, who knows how to make you feel alive."

you couldn't form a coherent response, your mind too consumed by the sensations she was eliciting from you. your breath came in ragged bursts, your fingers gripping the sheets beneath you. paige leaned in, her lips brushing against your ear before pushing her lips into yours.

you moaned into the kiss, your hands finding the back of her head to pull her closer. "you're mine," she whispered into your lips, her words sending a shiver down your spine. "no one else can make you feel like this."

you knew she was right. the connection you shared with paige was intense, undeniable. as she brought you closer to the edge, you couldn't help but think about the decisions you needed to make.

your climax hit you hard, a tidal wave of pleasure that left you breathless and trembling as you cried out loudly, louder than you've ever been with your girlfriend (and that's by a long shot). paige held you through it, her fingers slowing their pace as she watched you with a mixture of pride and possessiveness.

paige pulled her fingers out of your pussy only to push them into your lips, earning a moan from you. you sucked them clean as she watched you, the cocky smirk still on her lips. she pushed you onto the bed, grabbing your wrists and pinning them above your head. her body hovered over yours, her dominance clear in every movement.

"so fucking hot," paige murmured, her voice low and filled with desire. she leaned down, her lips capturing yours in a searing kiss. you could taste yourself on her lips, the taste making your head spin.

as she deepened the kiss, her hands roamed over your body, exploring every inch with a familiarity that sent shivers down your spine. her touch was both demanding and tender, a perfect balance that only paige could achieve.

breaking the kiss, paige's eyes locked onto yours, her smirk widening. "not done with you yet," she said, her voice dripping with promise. "shit, i needa cum too, right?"

she pushed your legs apart and spat into your pussy before she settled herself in between them perfectly. her fingers found your swollen clit, still sensitive from your previous orgasms. the mix of pleasure and pain made you gasp, your hips involuntarily bucking against her hand. paige's eyes gleamed with lust and satisfaction as she watched you squirm beneath her.

she finally moved her hand and began moving herself against your pussy, a loud groan leaving her lips. she pushed your legs further apart as she began bucking her hips against yours. the sensation was magical — both of you were so wet, combined with her spit — the friction was electrifying.

your moans filled the room, mingling with Paige's groans as she ground herself against you. the heat between you was intense, each movement sending waves of pleasure through your bodies.

"fuck yeah, feel so good," paige growled, her eyes locked onto yours with a fierce intensity. her movements became more urgent, her hips bucking harder against you.

the sensation of her slick folds sliding against yours was almost too much to bear, and you felt yourself edging closer to another climax. you reached up, grabbing her hips to steady yourself as you matched her rhythm. the connection between you two was palpable, an electric current that only seemed to grow stronger with each passing second. paige's breath was hot against your skin as she leaned down, her lips capturing yours in a searing kiss.

your tongues tangled together as your bodies moved in perfect sync, the pleasure building to a crescendo. paige pulled back slightly, her eyes dark with desire. "fucking cum for me," she commanded, her voice husky and filled with need.

the intensity of her words pushed you over the edge. your body arched against hers as you climaxed, your cries of pleasure filling the room. paige wasn't far behind, her own orgasm crashing through her as she continued to ride you, her moans mingling with yours.

when the waves of pleasure finally subsided, you lay there breathless and trembling, your body still humming with the aftershocks of your release. paige collapsed beside you, her chest rising and falling with each ragged breath. she reached out, pulling you close and wrapping her arms around you.

for a moment, the world outside ceased to exist. it was just the two of you, entwined in a blissful aftermath. paige pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead, her lips lingering there as she whispered, "you're amazing."

you smiled, your heart swelling with affection. "so are you," you replied softly, your fingers tracing lazy circles on her back.

as you lay there together, basking in the afterglow, you couldn't help but feel a sense of rightness. despite the complications, despite the uncertainty, this felt real. it felt like where you were meant to be.

if you enjoyed, any interaction is greatly appreciated!

with love, rylin 𝜗𝜚

[dat-lil-shark]

Transformer Shattered Glass as Cinderrella

This is the Cursed randome doodle from the poll a few days ago

Keep in mind that this is the shattered glass verse

I've Seriously thought about giving them dresses, but one of my mutuals pointed a gun at me to stop me from making it more cursed, so I didn't

But if yall want to see it comment it and I promise I will draw it

[polubrony]

Yall people calling chaggie "boring", I don't get ya..?

Like, they are not boring. They are HEALTHY

They lack all of this toxic shit, that people call "spice". It's not your freaking enemies to lovers, where they hate each other half the runtime. It's not your typical straight old comedy, where they barely tolerate each other. They are not constantly on the verge of a breakup which seems to be how people view realistic relationships

These are just people, who love each other very much. Even then, they have their own "tics" that can use development, like Vaggie's (lol, it autocorrected to Maggie, is my phone Lucifer?) devotion and disregard for her own wants and needs, that actually makes sense in-univerce.

Still, even when there are huge couple-shattering revelations, they approach it as a normal, healthy people? Like, yes, Charlie is upset and she deserves to be, it was a huge breach of trust and a very personal fuck-up, but they do what normal people do? Get some space, be angry/sad for a bit, get outsider's perspective, rethink their motivation and resolve the issue in a way that their types of previously established personalities would. My only gripe with this is that they didn't get on-screen reconciliation talk, but it is a 8 20-minute-long episode show, we don't exactly have a lot of time, so even that is, although not ideal, but understandable

Stop calling healthy couples "boring", some couples are just not toxic enough for your troupe-obsessed brains

[kalims]

˃ ᵕ ˂ . . "who i like? do you seriously think I'm gonna tell you that? anyways its—"

大好き

premise. someone asks who you like.. and you respond with their name—said person right beside you!

characters. all dorms and their prominent students

includes. gn reader

note. after a long wait! and the almost month this has been on my 'to be added' category it's hereeee.. fun fact.. I actually finished another work because I liked the idea of it more even though this was my prioritized.

was 20 mins late because I was fixing my posts aksbja

heartslabyul

looks at you like you're insane. I'm confident everyone can envision riddle's face like that. it's in between the verge of being flustered and being appalled by your lack of filter. heat practically steams out of riddle's ears as his movements stutters, clearly struggling to comprehend what you said. maybe you should get ready for an earful but you're pleasantly suprised when riddle sets aside his.. passionate emotions to shyly ask a confirmation. (with admitted aggression as if he's in denial)

trey's eyebrows shoot up but the action looks way more casual than it should be. I mean, surprisingly he's pretty calm on taking it into account but he ends up just being a smiling fool beside you as you continue your conversation with your friend. he's like... ‎◜◡◝ beside you as your friend looks between the two of you in a hurry before breaking into a laugh. should be be worried that you're this bold..? well, it did work in his favor so he can't say a thing.

happy go luck cater looks even more happy than you've ever seen him in your life. hanging lowly by his sides, his hands twitch and he itches to pull out his phone to basically renounce to the world that his feelings are very much reciprocated and probably lowkey shitting on the people with one sided loves because, ha! he wins!! you bet he's gonna settle for screaming in his private account and then proceeding to scream in his pillow.

before he could foster up a grin and break out of the 'calm and responsible' honor student, deuce had to keep his lower lips under his teeth lest he looks like a weirdo smiling uncontrollably tinged in flush. the whole time he was just staring at you goofily.. like he's on cloud nine, which I concur. because he is. the one who gets gaslighted (not by you) into thinking that you both now are in a relationship like.. deuce be for real you didn't even ask me on a fate. (actually both of you might think you're in a relationship because of the way you're acting like yall are)

contrary to beliefs I think ace would be on the more casual side. you know? throwing an arm around your shoulder and shattering whatever personal space criteria there was. clearly there's no need when you 'like' him so much. he's using your words as an excuse to do whatever he wants, like leaning strangely close, letting a hand linger longer than it should. whatever restraint he had before is gone now because now he's moving onto a new level of personal. you'd either hate or secretly like the change. hate because ace wtf we're in class and like because,, who wouldn't want your crush to be overly affectionate with you?

savanaclaw

you'd think leona wasn't listening at all just from the indifferent look on his face but you know better just from the way his eyes perk up, tail sticking up in dormant but still a signal of alert and attention. for once he doesn't quip a tease, or a smart-ass remark that would want you to shovel your way to the ground on embarrassment. he just.. sits there, staring seemingly into the void of thin air itself. maybe it's because he's feeling particularly sentimental or sensitive today that his heart feels like it's encased in warmth. it feels good.

a laugh too shaky for his preferences, ruggie hopes he didn't look too nervous for his sake. I mean, this is literally his suprise of the century and when I tell you that it's a big shock to him, it's an understatement. come on, if he did think you had feelings for him ruggie imagined the confession going normally. either buttering him up or going straight to the point—the latter, which he prefers but when he said to be direct he certainly didn't expect this! the hyena runs away with jitters and a skip to his steps but he comes back a few minutes later looking more relaxed than you've ever seen him.

once again. contrary to expectations which the savanclaw boys had practically shattered those, many would think jack would go all shy. from the previous savanaclaw boys you'd think I'd go against expectations again but you're.. wrong hehe. i don't know how to explain other than he wills himself to show a reaction other than fluster, maybe it's just in his pride to now show you an ounce of weakness but literally how could be when you're the weakness? he doesn't know if you making him soft is good or not.

octavinelle

if it was real and possible to actually happen without a third party force, azul's glasses would've definitely shattered the moment you said the direct confession. he's torn between wanting to excuse himself to scream like a school girl or intent to not let the fluster show. well, either way he does both. keeping his emotions hardly in check, sometimes slipping up multiple times but when the time comes where you both part ways you know he's silently smiling to himself when he turns round a corner. the twins are suspicious and curious as to why azul had been in a good mood nowadays..

either jade maintains his cool, natural closed eyed smile or he crinkles his eyes when he breaks into a large sharp toothed grin. of course both has the lingering ominous feeling around it because it's jade.. and even you have to agree that him openly cracking a grin isn't exactly a good sign of peace, rather so a harbinger of trouble. if you were bold enough to say that in his presence I wonder how that previous confidence will fare when he's practically picking at your earlier words to gouge a reaction. no jade, I only said like. not love (yet).

no one other than floyd would be more than ecstatic. he didn't hear it at first, blinking then tilting his head to the side when he pauses to register it. so when he finally processes it you bet he's giggling in his head but in real time? he's practically sweeping you off your feet to hug you in the air. figures with the strange merman strength.. you find out that floyd is quite clingy when he's immensely happy, he even refused to let you go through classes and when you insisted he just sat down next to your seat and promptly kicked out whoever sat there before! floyd atleast hide! I mean the professor would surely notice the eel that's not in supposed to be in their class.

scarabia

if there was an option where he could purchase everything in the world then giving it to you without expecting anything back kalim would surely choose it. you got him so happy to the fact that he's willing to do practically anything that you ask. he doesn't mean to be over the top but.. he just wants to make you happy, which is more than you deserve. no matter how many times you tell him that you don't need any gifts but rather him only, it seemed like it only did worse since he practically fell a hundred times harder which brings us to the conclusion that he wants to give you the world a whole lot more now..

a complete opposite of kalim. jamil merely blinks and casts you a side eye. for the record, he is a little impressed you're that bold because if it was him he would've just brushed this person away or claimed that he liked no one but here you are. completely obliterating the concept of secrets. perhaps that's why he likes you in the first place, your personality is certainly a force to reckon with.. but sometimes you just have to tone down the chaos.. *please* 😐

pomefiore

vil is no stranger to bold proclamations but he can't deny he's a little startled. well, he didn't pick you out to be that type of person. either way usually he'd plaster a quick smile, the words not hitting anything other than the skin of his heart. strangely enough he can't keep the smile wider than he'd like off his face, he's immensely pleased by your words and pomefiore has never been so happy by the obvious good mood their dorm leader had. cause he left them alone for the whole day to practice stick to your side.

his eyes immediately crinkle in joy, rook has to look away and cover the lower part of his face to shy away the flush in his cheeks that would give away his thoughts. rook wouldn't mind if you knew how he felt, but this time he feels as though he's doing this to contain the excitement off his face. you can practically hear the tremble in his voice as he giggles out. "oh tricheur ! mon coeur bat pour toi dans ma poitrine!" it looks like rook completely forgot to existence of the person right next to you. if he got madol from the amount of times he practically sang of his love for you rook would be rich.

just like any other time where you say something off handed epel quickly goes out of character and nearly screams. asking, shaking your shoulders, out of breath by the amount of times he aggressively shook you for the answer of "really?!" his voice becomes that of a boy you aren't used to, but if he's really that willing to show you the person he truly is it makes you like him more. if you do agree, admittedly with your surroundings growing distorted he yells out a happy "YESSS." then coughs and resumes to his soft persona like he wasn't the complete opposite a minute ago. (the person that asked was shook)

ignihyde

it's hard to say if idia is actually gonna be next to you since,, he's idia and do you really think he'd entertain the thought of being in a conversation with someone who he doesn't know? so let's just pretend his tablet is floating next to you, it's better than nothing you guess. you spared a glance to the electronic when you literally confessed your type, idia himself fitting the category perfectly. you swore you heard a squeak but ehh.. maybe it was a rat or something.

meanwhile. ortho comes inside idia's room expecting his elder brother to just be sitting on his bed, gaming chair or something but no. idia shroud is on the floor, with his headphones hazzardly over the floor like it fell over when he did. his hair is sprawled around the floor, heating into a concerning passionate pink as he rolls around and... squeals..? just from the headphones ortho can vaguely hear a "my type..? oh you know idia? I'd kill to have a boyfriend like him." playing on repeat.

diasomnia

he would be like: ˘ ˘ and then: ‎◜◡◝ after he hears you. if there a sound for a big, happy dragon malleus would be excluding them. when I tell you he wishes nothing but to just whisk you away on spot he's not kidding, unlike everyone else who unintentionally forgot the person who asked. this man forgets them intentionally because he can't keep his eyes off you like.. 'hey other human. me and my child of man are having a moment here. will you please leave now. did you not get the sign'

giggles but with his deep voice it sounds kinda weird, but nice to the ears nonetheless. lilia labels you as his main target now, perhaps scaring you shitless at the random times is his love languange because he does it a lot. don't worry though, he always says a half hearted apology with a smile and showers you with affection right after. how could you be mad with how he treats you? even though he cares for you after you can't help but pray that the glint you saw in the ceiling was just some shiny thing.. maybe malleus got it from him because he doesn't care for the other person too.

sebek scolds you period. not only have you mentioned his name (which he's embarrassingly torn between being disgusted and fluster) but you've also mentioned that he's your type?? but I honestly think he approves your taste. "OF COURSE I am the ideal man! I applaud you for once human. not everyone can see the value of loyalty and devotion to waka-sama!" he says but with the increasing pink in his face you know better than to think that it's for the sole reason of malleus.

with the increasing time you've both spent together, silver has practically devoted himself to following you around whenever he's awake. (sebek says something about him always needing to be by malleus' side but quickly shuts up after silver comments that sebek is more than capable to look after him) the surroundings are growing hazy when you say it but he hears it nonetheless. he's happy to say that he dreamt a pleasing dream he's ever gotten in a long time. and since you were in it, it's safe to say that he's positively infatuated now.

clarifications

translation for rook is,, "oh trickster! my heart beats for you in my chest!"

I connected ignihyde parts since I REFUSE to leave out ortho!!

I really liked how those ^ parts came out. my favorite actor cause I think it's cute for idia to be freaking out like that lolol. especially with the idea of recording of your voices to listen to cause he's that down bad

[andillneverbethesame]

hi! my first req so i apologise if it's incredibly awkward >.< saw you were looking for ts x hp requests and i would love to see 'mine' with james, if possible? tysm!! <3

𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒆.

❥ pairings; james potter x fem!reader

❥ summary; after a failed marriage of your parents, your views on love are pessimistic. however, a certain handsome waiter makes you believe in it again.

❥ warnings; muggle au

❥ a/n; this is so bad n short but i have a writer's block so i'm sorry yall :(

"and what can i get you?" the waiter turned to you and gave you a smile he didn't give your friend.

you weren't stupid. you knew this boy— james — was flirting with you. you knew this since the very first time you walked into this café and he was there. but you had to act clueless. you didn't want to give him a chance just to get your heart shattered.

"cappuccino would be good," you said with a small smile. it was the kind of smile that shouldn't get his hopes high.

he nodded and winked at you. "i'll be right back."

your friend dorcas elbowed you harshly in the ribs and you let out a groan of pain.

"what was that for?"

she placed her hands on your shoulders and started shaking with you.

"wake up! that bloke's totally into you!"

you slapped her hands away. "well, i know that!he's not being really secretive about it."

"then why aren't you flirting back? he's really handsome, i'd totally go for him if he was a girl."

you rolled your eyes. "he probably just wants to get into my pants anyway."

"he's been flirting with you for weeks! if he really only wanted to sleep with you, it would already happen."

you didn't respond to that because james was back with your order.

you looked up and thanked him and he gave you that smile again, not even bothering to glance at dorcas before walking away.

when he was gone and dorcas started talking about her new job, you noticed a piece of paper on the small plate under your cup.

you furrowed your eyebrows and read it.

call me;

his number was scribbled bellow.

mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine

when you got home that day, you placed the piece of paper on your bedside table and stared at it. you wondered all afternoon and evening if you should call him and give him a chance or not.

as you were lying in bed, trying to fall asleep with that handsome waiter in your mind, you thought about it all.

you hated to admit it but your heart did in fact skip a beat when he smiled or winked at you and you really wanted to see that more often and not only in the café.

before you knew what you were doing, you propped on one of your elbows and reached for the piece of paper and your phone.

you dialed it, your heart beating fast and your palms getting sweaty.

it was only after one ring you heard his voice.

"hello?"

you opened your mouth but no sound was coming for about a second before you managed to stutter, "h-hi..."

he must have recognised your voice because the next thing he said was, "thank god, i was already thinking i made a complete fool out of myself!"

you let out a small laugh. "no, not at all. i'm sorry i'm calling this late but i had a lot of things to...consider."

you imagined him nod even though you couldn't see it.

"no, that's completely alright. i'm very glad you called. . ." when you didn't say anything, he continued, "this is the part where you say your name."

your eyes widen. "oh, right! sorry. my name's y/n."

"y/n," he repeated. "pretty name for a pretty girl."

it was cliche and you knew it but it made you blush anyway.

"i was wondering if you wanted to. . maybe grab a coffee or go to the cinema or something."

you smiled. "i'd like anything."

"okay! it's a surprise then. how about i pick you up tomorrow at four?"

you quickly thought if you have any plans for tomorrow at four but you knew if there were any, you'd cancel them.

"yes, sounds great. i'll text you the adress."

"awesome!" even though you couldn't see him, you swore you heard a smile in his voice. "all settled then. see you tomorrow, y/n."

"see you, james. goodnight!"

"goodnight."

mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine

the next day at four, just as he promised, james's car was outside your flat building.

you practically ran out of the door and soon regretted to giving into dorcas pleads to wear dress when it was almost autumn already but you didn't want to go back to change now that james saw you.

he got out of his car and like a true gentleman he opened the door for you.

"hi!" he beamed when you reached him. "you look beautiful."

blood rushed into your cheeks. "thank you. you don't look bad yourself."

to say james was good looking would be an incorrent statement. he was so goddamn beautiful with his black curls in his eyes and you didn't regret anything.

you got into the passenger's seat and james got into his driver's one.

"ready to go?"

you nodded.

mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine

the whole way to wherever james was taking you, you both spend it by saying the most basic things about yourselves. you found out he's a college student and he plays rugby and that he'd like to be a professional rugby player in the future and at that moment you decided you were going to watch his nearest game to surprise him.

you yourself talked quite a lot during the care ride which was unusual because you only talked a lot with people close to you.

you arrived at a lake you haven't been at before. it was surrounded by forest and grass. as you were looking around, james pulled out a blanket and a picnic basket out of the car. when you turned back to him, the blanket was laid on the grass by the water and james finished pulling out all the food he brought. you suddenly realised that he must have remembered everything you ever ordered because that's what was lying on the blanket; all your favorite donuts, croissants, ice creams...

"wow," you gasped quietly.

you started to believe for the first time.

mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine

"can you believe it?" you said, looking up at james from your place on his chest.

you two were lying on his couch in his flat just minutes after your first fight. it was a silly one, you knew it but you still were surprised it didn't end up with you slamming the entrance door of his flat.

he chuckled. "i do." he pressed his lips to the topof your head and intertwined his fingers with yours. "we'll never make your parents mistakes."

that was the most comforting sentence anyone could ever say to you and you thought, i can see it now.

mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine

flash forward and you and james were taking on the world together. you two went so far that you started sort of living together (you spent most of your time at his place and you couldn't remember the last time you were at yours).

your relationship with james was sky-high. you told him everything and you started to think he may already know you better than you knew yourself. it was scary at first but you soon realised it could be the best thing you had ever done.

however, even the best things come to end.

or so you thought.

you still remembered it. 2:30am, screaming at james because of something stupid but he didn't even raise his voice at you. he was completely calm and that was maybe what made you so angry.

you ran out crying out into the streets and the realization hit you harder than ever. James was trying to talk things out and all you did was shout and then ran out without giving him a chance.

you could feel an ache in your heart that you knew so very well.

was he going to leave me now?

your hands began to shake, the rain mixing with your tears as you began thinking of the worst scenarios ever; a future without james.

but that's when you saw him; he was running towards you with his hair wet and his shirt glued to his body.

he stopped in front of you, breathing heavily. he brought his hand to your face and you didn't flinch. you knew you didn't have to. he got some of your hair out of your face and looked straight into your eyes. he knew what you were thinking. he always did.

"i'll never leave you alone."

[yok00k]

coming down

pairing: non-idoloc! x idol!jk

genre: angst

“i always want you when i’m coming down”

sypnosis: although you sleep next to jungkook every single night, it feels like you’re million miles away from him.

wordcount: around 1,000

warning: in 1st pov, it’s a little sad (for me), open ended ending, one sided love, allusion of cheating, oc’s world revolves around jk (don’t be like her)(lowkey im her), toxic relationship, lack of communication

author’s note: this did not go as I initially planned help-_- i was gonna make light jealousy oc/jk drabble idk how I ended up with this. i hope yall sob w/ me or lmk ur thoughts

an absolute ideal.

his performance. the concept. the way he sang his new released songs flawlessly. how smooth his dancing movements were. how the stage composition and development were so sumptuous.

and most importantly, how romantic the live performance was, given the fact that there was an actress involved in the show.

calling Jungkook an amazing artist would be an understatement. He’s creative, unique, and original in his masterpieces. Everything he does, no matter what, is just mesmerizing and astounding. He’s indeed a true performer.

Jungkook dedicated several months to work on his solo album. The time and effort he had put to his work is just admirable. On most days, he stays up late, trying to come up with so many possible ideas and options he can add on his album.

and I was there by his side. I chose to be.

I was there, waiting for him to come home every single night, or usually midnight, in our noiseless living room, wrapped with a thick blanket and loneliness. He would arrive home, but as night by night goes, I was accompanied by nothing but solitude. it feels like it’s taking over me.

I was there, in bad days where Jungkook is focusing on the negatives and having doubts in himself. Days where his standards for himself weren’t being met. both of my shoulders were closely next to him if he needed something to lean into. Reminding him that it’s okay and he’s doing wonderful.

I was there, even in times when he didn't want or need me to be there. times where he just wanted to be by his own with no distraction. but here I am, continuously showing him my undying love and support for him.

I chose to stay there. on nights where he stopped saying “i love you” back before going to dreamland. I hugged him closer as I convinced myself to believe that he just didn’t feel like saying those three words at those moment because of all the stress he undergoes through day to day.

I gave all of myself, I’ve done my part as his other half. Just like how Jungkook produces his works, I poured all my love and time to him, leaving not a thing for myself. It sounds foolish, but that’s just how I love

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

we’re both lying on the massive bed, only inches apart from one another’s body yet it feels like he’s millions of miles away from me as I stare at his cold, broad back that’s facing me.

I’ve got to used to this upsetting scenario at this point but that doesn’t mean it hurt less.

The whole bedroom feels chilly. I’m freezing, solely due to the fact that his warm arms weren’t wrapped around me like they used to be. as i’m not hearing his snores, I know that he’s still awake

“Do you still love me?” I manage to ask out loud and clear, immediately regretting the words that came out of my mouth even though it’s simply an inquiry.

a question that’s been going around my head for quite some time now. a question that i’m afraid to know the answer to because his response might be the response my heart doesn’t wish to hear or else it will shatter into millions of pieces.

my hope for an answer rapidly decreased as seconds went by filled with silence. The absence of noise that surrounded me was deafening; abundantly mocked the emotions I was feeling at the moment, screaming at me that my feelings didn't matter.

It's alright.

I did nothing but wipe the single tear that uncontrollably rolled down my cheek.

it’s stupid. I should’ve just kept it to myself. maybe that would be less embarrassing. less problematic. less painful than I was feeling minutes ago.

I turned my back against his as I accepted my defeat. maybe I’m just tired. maybe drifting to sleep will make me feel okay although I know deep inside that I won’t take the pain away. this is not some type of feeling i’m unfamiliar with to begin with.

I shut my eyes, as I try to put myself to sleep. but in that process, i felt his body moving, turning around, and finally snakes his warm arms around me. a pair of arms, the same ones I longed for so many nights.

“____, why would you ask that?” he giggly asked, sounding like he just heard a silly question. as if i was just being clingy and wanted some piece of his attention.

‘because i don’t feel like you love me anymore’

the man waited for a response, waiting to see if I was just fooling around or that was really genuine. the noiselessness, just like all times, answers the question we both interrogate to each other.

the heavy feelings just got worse, if not heavier. even so when he talks more. “i won’t be laying next to you if i wasn’t.” as if that makes me feel better.

indeed, he’s physically here by my side yet distant. Jungkook is so far off that I’ve lost him. numbness was all I felt as I heard his words. I couldn’t be more content now that I have my answers.

his indirect answer to a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ question is enough for me to know where we stand.

I can’t help but to turn my body to face him, just to stare at his doe eyes that I easily get lost in due to the fact that they hold thousands of stars, if not a whole world in them.

regretfully, my eyes should’ve just maintained contact with doe-like eyelids. but rather, they drop their focus on the side of his neck, detecting a foreign lipstick shade that he might have forgotten to wipe off. a shade that will be tattooed in my brain and will forever hate.

Inhale. Exhale. I chose to shrug it off, bringing my attention back to his worn out face.

“I love you” truthfully and whole-heartedly confessed to him once more just like I always do. although this was a little bit different because I don’t expect him to say it back anymore.

and with that in mind, this was also the last night that I will to express my love for him.

[cosmic-ghost-hermit]

What is your hidden talent?

Hey, everyone! It would be super helpful if yall donated to my CashApp. I want to do this kind of work full-time. I have been told by people I read for that I am meant to do tarot reading. I am inclined to believe them because fr it has been so fun for me to see how much it helps yall. Way more fun than any retail/food industry job I've had. I feel like I am actually doing something substantial with my time. If yall want me to be able to continue to do this daily it would be so awesome if yall donated. Thank you guys in advance!

Donate to my CashApp Here

The decks I am using today are The Tarot of the Divine, Believe in You Own Magic Oracle and The Healing Waters Oracle. Take everything that resonates and leave the rest behind but always be open to new experiences.

___________

PILE ONE

Astrology: Leo, Virgo, Scorpio

Song: I Set Fire To The Rain by Adele

Vibes: Teal, green, yellow/gold, shear white cloth, smelling smoke, burning house, swimming, mixed drinks, hot chocolate, braided hair, locked doors, house plants, deep skin tone, 888, shells, feathers, crayons, colored hair, ares

Cards: 2 of Wands, 9 of Cups, 5 of Wands, Mural, Gold, Cleansing, Into the Unknown

Welcome in, pile 1! You have two hidden talents. One that you use rather regularly but unknowingly and the other you have yet to unlock. The energy I am getting from the cards makes me think the two talents are intertwined. ALSO Trigger Warning for abuse in this reading. It is VERY HEAVY. Do not read if you do not think you are ready.

The first hidden talent is starting new from the ground up. I know to you it might not sound that interesting. You have no idea how hard it can be to start new things for others. Starting from the ground up is scary and intimidating. Organizing the chaos in your mind and project that chaos clearly into reality. I see you are probably an artist of some kind. You might paint, make clay sculptures, or hand-make intricate jewelry of some kind. I see you learned to hone this ability because of a karmic relationship. They made you feel adored and cherished until you were in their grasp. When you were trapped with them, they turned on you. It's giving love bombing. This person literally blew up on you over the smallest things. I see a shattered tea/coffee cup. You stayed with them for a long time even though you knew what they were doing was wrong. You had to completely shred the life you had with them. You had to start your life from scratch. Which is why you are so used to the idea of starting with nothing and building up. The pain that you felt from that past connection still hurts you to this day. You probably have PTSD from the situation you were in. I am so sorry you had to go through all that. You didn't deserve to be treated like that.

The second hidden talent is transmutation. I see that the reason you haven't unlocked it yet is because you fear change. What happened to you in that shitty relationship makes it way easier for you to start over than to change the situation. You are scared to see things to the end. I see that this fear reveals itself in your artwork. You probably have many unfinished projects because you view yourself as incapable of seeing them through. Which by the way isn't true you are so capable of anything you want to do. Heal the hurt part of you that thinks you are incapable. Your ex was the one who instilled that in you. Don't let that motherfucker get you down. Especially if they aren't in your life anymore. Don't let them have that power over you, love. You deserve to feel good. Face your fear of them being right. You and I both know they aren't. When you do unlock this ability you will be able to transmute all the pain that asshole put you through into beautiful art. You will be able to finish all of those unfinished projects. You will be able to find true love within yourself. You will find that you were never broken like that bitch said you were. You were always lovely, sweet, and accommodating. You were always creating love everywhere you went.

_______

PILE TWO

Astrology: Sagittarius, Gemini, Pisces

Song: I Love Rock n Roll by Joan Jett and the Blackhearts

Vibes: Navy Blue, white, peach, deer, horses, libraries, books, coffee, hot springs, scones, pillow forts, maxi-skirts, cowboys, mermaids, 333, wine, fine dining, tall trees, athena, artemis

Cards: The Hermit, 3 of Wands, Knight of Swords, Nostalgia, Stars, Water Codes, The Healing Lagoon

Hello, pile 2! You have one secret power but trust me it's a good one. You have the ability to pull information out of thin air. You are crazy smart. People might not think it when they look at you because you try not to flaunt it too wildly. You prefer to stay under the radar when it comes to intellect. This makes people underestimate you. I feel that some of yall reading like this for various reasons but others really fucking hate it. You have some insecurity around this skill. That's why you don't think it is a good skill tbh. You think a lot on the go even while in conversation which makes people see you as kind of ditzy. Even so, you absolutely obliterate at trivia night. Your friends come to you first when they need obscure information. You might have been a really lonely kid and spent a lot of your time reading away the time. For a big chunk of your childhood you found your companionship in novels. You may have been bullied for this. Don't let those people's words get you down. Honestly, they were just jealous of your intelligence. The friends you have now love to hear you infodump about your favorite books. They love to hear everything you know about sea creatures and astrology/astronomy. They ask questions not to mock you but because they genuinely are interested in what you have to say. You are magnificent. Your mind is unparalleled. How people perceive you has nothing to do with what is actually happening in your mind. It is just their projections of themselves onto you. Ignore them lmao. <3

________

PILE THREE

Astrology: Cancer, Taurus, Libra

Song: Stay by Zedd

Vibes: All shades of blue, creeks, hanging flowers, 9999, faires, watermelon, paint-brush, rabbits, bird chips, car horn, pearls, lily pads, walking in the rain, lanterns, puppies, beaches, zues

Cards: Queen of Cups, Page of Cups, Ace of Wands, 9 of Pentacles, Raindrops, Stagnant Waters, Light House

My dear pile 3, welcome to your reading. You have a hidden ability that I feel is only hidden from you. Everyone else seems to know this about you. You have the power of hospitality and refuge. You are a safe place for everyone you know to come to if they need it. You are the type of person to tell everyone you know if they need a place to stay for any reason, all they gotta do is ask. You have a motherly energy about you, even if you aren't a woman. You always have emergency snacks for occasions like that. You host parties and everyone always leaves feeling 10 times better than when they arrived. You are the friend that lends a hand when needed. You the kind of person to have a shoulder ready for anyone to lean on, even if you don't know them well. The most beautiful thing about this is that these actions are never self-sacrificing. You have an abundance of all that you need so you can be generous constantly to those in need. I see you resting when necessary and listening to your body. I see you volunteering in your community. I think recently you helped clean up a beach or something. Maybe you organized it? Your energy is so soothing. You are just amazing, my friend. Absolutely the softest heart on earth. I also see you might foster animals! You take in rescue animals and nurse them back to health until they can find a forever home. ;n; You are the definition of an earth angel. Please see how amazing you are and how big your heart is. I wanna be your friend so bad from hearing all of this. Never stop being this beautiful of a soul, my dear. You are perfect.

_________

PILE FOUR

Astrology: Aries, Capricorn, Aquarius

Song: Black Girl Magic by Londrelle

Vibes: Cyan, yellow, rusty red, iridescent, sake, 4c hair, magic, spell casting, curse breaking, singing, tea, pottery, steam-train, festivals, celebration, 963, small forests, mercury/hermes, lambs, Oshun

Cards: The Star, Ace of Cups, 2 of Cups, 6 of Swords, 7 of Wands, Tower, Spaceship, Thank You

PILE 4, WOW. Welcome. Your energy is just sooo woah. You are so indescribable. All that you have been through. Everything you have seen. All I can say is, wow. Your secret power is balance. It is a well-earned hidden ability. You have been through so much to gain the skills that I see in this reading. You have traveled so far. When I first looked at the reading I could not pin down exactly what skill you had because you are just so good at EVERYTHING. I legitimately out loud said, "Everything??? Everything." You know how to take care of yourself. You are an excellent lover. If you are a parent you are good at that too. You are chasing your dreams. I see you performing as a singer or a musician and your talent stuns everyone in the room. You are the best manifester in a 20 miles radius. You are a witch for sure. You have worked so hard on breaking karmic familial curses and you succeeded. You succeeded far past your soul's initial expectations. You are everything, my love. Like literally everything. Then it hit me. You are a tightrope walker. You are balancing everything perfectly. Have you ever heard of Rock Cairns? They are stacks of rocks that hikers add to as they pass by on park trails. You have turned your life into something like that. You have perfectly balanced every stone you passed in your life in a pile and you manage it all on your own. First off, I want to tell you what a good job you are doing. What a good job you have been doing since you were born. Second thing, PLEASE REST WHEN YOU NEED IT OHMYGODS. You don't need me to tell you that though. You are probably smoking a joint right fucking now while reading this or you just got done doing that. No notes, baby. You got this. I just think Spirit wanted to remind you of your magnificence.

[peachywritesstuff]

Ghostface!Xavier headcannons

Warnings:mentions of stakking,killing(duh),a little of soft! yandere!Xavier, Xavier taking "I will kill for you" to the next level.this ended up being hella long. I got carried away

When the killings first start. You obviously don't know Xavier was behind them. And he make sure you didn't know either.

He was very good at keeping the whole thing a secret.

Like you never suspected your sweet boyfriend to be the one behind the murders.

But... who said he was doing it alone?

Cue Ajax and Xavier killing victims together.

Xavier would do prank calls to his victims.

Fucks with them for a while before killing them.

And he kills all his victims in different ways so whenever the police would find a body it would look completely different then the last body they found

There was times he would come back bruised or a little bloodied(not his blood) from his victims fighting back,but he just say that it was just paint or he went a little to far in fencing.

Now on to you.

You were his sweet precious baby,and he wasn't gonna let anything happen to you.

And he is definitely not afraid to kill for you that's for sure.

He would watch you from afar and make sure you got to where you were going safe and sound.

So the guys that would bother you? Suddenly they end up missing. The guy that was flirting with you? Babe,he dead in a ditch somewhere.

If a guy decides to hurt you? Oh Xavier sees red and goes fucking crazy.

I mean look what happened with Rowan.

He.got.fucked.up

But anyways back to you.

He didn't mean to kill Rowan infront of you.

He just saw red when he saw what he was doing to you. He didn't see or hear anything else. The only thing on his mind was to kill him

He didn't stop stabbing the fucker until he heard your cries.

And as much as he enjoyed watching him choke on his own blood he hated to see you so hysterical

It broke him to see you cowering beneath a tree,covered in Rowan's blood,and shaking like a leaf.

His heart shattered when he saw the look on his face when he took his mask off.

That look alone almost made him want to stop the killing. He never wanted the love of his life to look at him that way ever again.

Keyword: Almost

He approached you so cautiously,like a scared little animal that he was afraid would run away.

And you tried.

He caught you very quickly and dropped the bloodied knife to the ground when kept starting it and crying even more.

You tried to push yourself away from his embrace but he held you tighter. Rocking you side to side as you sobbed in his arms.

You were shaking so bad he thought you never stop.

He carried you back to his shed leaving Rowan's body behind,and you were quiet as a mouse.

No he didn't forget the knife,his mask,or his camera. He wasn't stupid.

Still in a state of shock.

You flinched when his hand reaches up to wipe to wipe Rowan's blood off you and he paused and gently grabbed your face with his hands.

"I would rather die then to ever hurt you baby." He looked deep into your eyes. Filled with so much love,and sincerity. How can these hands who have killed countless people,hold you so gently? Like you were a proclain doll?

You were still sitting there in shock and disbelief.

Everything seemed to make sense now, times he would disappear and come back late at night,the "red paint" that was on his clothes.

When you saw him killing Rowan... he was an entirely different person and it scared you so much

The boy you knew since you were 14 was a ruthless killer and never thought you would use Xavier and serial killer in the same sentence.

"Do you like it?" Xavier made eye contact with you. "Killing." He looked down at his feet,his legs beginning to bounce.

"Yeah," his voice cracked a little. "Yeah I do."

You let out a shaky exhale at that.

He admitted that he was the one that killed Tyler and some of the other previous victims

He decided to leave out Ajax for now

Yall sat in silence for what seemed like forever. Him looking at you and you avoiding looking at him.

You asked out of the blue if he would ever thought of killing you and he practically yelled out a 'no'.

After witnessing the murder of Rowan.You never fully got use to him being Ghostface.

Obviously you never told a single soul

Wednesday is suspicious

But yall's relationship dynamic changed after that.

Xavier was surprised that you decided to stay with him even after that happened. I mean, after the talk in his art shed,you ignores him for a week. He thought the relationship was as good as gone.

Xavier didn't throw everything at you all at once which you were thankful for.

Because it took you months to be comfortable with your killer boyfriend's schedule.

At the beginning you felt so much guilt. Knowing who the killer was but not saying a word about it.

But it was the love of your life,you couldn't just rat him out and leave him in a prison to rot for the rest of his life.

I mean look at Wednesday's family

With all that being said,let's talk about when you do feel comfortable about the whole thing.

Now,Xavier is very deeply,in love with you. Think him as Gomez really.

He can and will kill for you

So if you were making it known you wanted someone dead or just bluntly say it then that person would end up being dead by the next morning.

No questions asked.

You also may or may not have developed a knife kink or a hand kink over the process of a few months.

And Xavier takes a full on advantage to that.

Xavier will literally drop dead if you want to join in on the killing.

He would die a happy man.

[adoregojo]

★- haunted by the trails of you.

a/n: here's some more angst i had in drafts and now I'm setting it free. wanted more pain but this what yall are getting for now d: (potentially getting a part two)

summary: their first anniversary without you, and you'd still be haunting them. !! gn reader!! characters: isagi, reo, rin. warnings: men. hurt/barely an comfort, the word 'vomit', blood mentions in rin's part, appear of other characters. perhaps heavy angst?

isagi: it was at his own home. for what he can fathom, isagi isn't considered as someone who's hooked on the past. at least that's what he pinned his head to. what had chronicles should've been a lesson, something that'll help him move forward, a memory that'll get him through to his feet again.

once the past had been written, there was no undoing. only exceptions and take the moral out of it.

sometimes isagi wished he had tugged on that enough as much as he tugged his heart to yours.

he was about to send himself a clout. has he learned nothing? why can't he draw a clear line without the ghost of you obsessing in every corner of his life? so instead, he botches his hair to untidy navy-blue locks flying out of place, mumbling cusses to none other than himself.

He bet he looked like a madman, uttering loathes undertone within every step upon a stair he took. He swore he spotted a middle aged lady covering her son's ears in horror. maybe he wasn't muttering as low as he thought.

it was saturday, in which isagi takes a day off to greet his parents from time to time. and he wasn't gonna cancel that over some feelings he might've got the wrong end of the stick about, it was probably just lingering lust and affection he had for you, but I'll past. clinging to the mere possibility and ignoring the ache that remains for too long than intended.

swirling the keys with his bare hands, isagi can view the frigid smoke of his breath appearing with every puff he let out. the tips of his fingers and knuckles were embarrassing standing out an angry shade of red, he forgot his gloves, again ,recalling: yoichi never really had to bat an eye when it comes to gloves. he'll even do it on purpose since you wouldn't think twice before launching yours to his frosty hands, while interlocking your hands with the other one.

now that he mentioned it, he always recollect how futile of an attempt it was. because the back of his hand will always remain polar, but at that time, it didn't carried a feather. he didn't really mind freezing to death if it meant I'll be in your arms. then he'll die any day.

isagi remains stationary, until his forehead rests the irony of his house door. he didn't know if he was deeply disappointed in himself, or just drowned by the sweet bygone days. gabbling something about how an idiot he was before taking a deep lungful of air and finally opening the door.

flinging his shoes to gods knows where, at this state even his mother's berating wouldn't budge a bone in him, yeah, this is how bad it was.

to his astonishment, there were no trails of his parents. isagi called, shouting once, twice. and gave up on the third time. he jogs around to the kitchen era, like expected: a dangling note covering some plate, informing him that they went out and they'll be back before dinner. 

isagi just let out a defeated sigh, an obvious pessimistic wave looming over him. he was genuinely hoping to spend a family-time right away, and something to divert him away from the wraith of you.

a part of him wondered, what answer could he hand his parents, breaking the fact that you two were no longer together. his parents always loved you, adored you even. they'd definitely be shattered, he'll just muddle it by saying that you two drew apart till an ultimate downfall drilled up a hole in your relationship, leading to a break up. they’ll buy it, right?

blindly, isagi carried out the plat, slamming it flatly against the wooden table of the living room. making himself comfortable on the couch that held on the glimpse of his childhood, it was a pleasant to be at home again, and one of a great distraction.

he needed it.. anything to sway him away from the remainder of what name of this day earned..

from the corner of his eye, he spotted a second note. scoffing at himself isagi gets a grasp on it, living on the thought it might've been his parents requesting him to do chores, or just asking him to take extra care of himself. 

isagi consulted it, even when a part of him begged him not to.

‘dear, yocchan. we really hope you'll be the one to read this, but if not! hello yoichi’s partner, that's quite embarrassing if you're reading this hahaha. but anyway, we figured that today is your two anniversary, isn't that just great? We remember just yesterday they were being introduced to us for the first time. What a good time to be alive, but anyway. There's some surprise cake for the two of you to share! Happy anniversary, you lovebirds.- your mother (in law).”

‘don't get too carried away please! - your father (in law).”

isagi flouts, bitterly. so sorely that all the rock-hard grip of his hand went straight to poor paper, ripping it apart to fall into small chunks. the stomach-bug swirl, not the one with the butterflies plopping in the depths of his stomach, swarming with to define a new level of bliss. but a disgusting ache of venom mobbing, making him want to vomit in an instant. 

if it wasn't for his neighbors, isagi would've outcry his lungs out of frustration. but he wasn't on the field, where his anger planted. Now it's just a sad smile etching on his features. 

and maybe a drip of a few tears..

how long were you planning on haunting him for..

reo: he had to delete it.. for the longest period, reo had never been so glued on what he busted by his own hands, words and ego. he had no one to blame but himself, and yet no amount of strength that earth granted him, no matter how the sky have bore in tears gleaming the ground, a pool of agony cries pleading for him to do it.

all that and he’d still struggle to press the delete button. He just couldn't.

“man, just delete it already.” chigiri cried out, slamming his palms against the skin of his forehead. He was tired. and he wasn't even getting paid to deal with this shit.

“it's easier for you to say it, you don't get it.” reo sassed back, trudging inches away from the redhead who's eyes twitched in disbelief. 

nagi and chigiri一well, mostly chigiri, have been summoned by a cry for help from their shared friend. just for the end of the world to be him trying to delete the pictures and videos of you and him, his ex that lived in his head rent free. 

it was a wretched sight to see, his eyes were tearing up while scrolling through your memories together. chigiri一god’s greatest soldier, was really, really doing everything he can to encourage reo back on his feet. It was like helping a spineless creature to straighten up. 

it's quite impressive, he can use all his abilities on soccer pitches, give his best assists, be the heart, the mind and the soul of the field. Yet behind the plate was a completely different person, a hopeless guy curled up in a ball of your blanket that carried most of your left cologne, and sobbing till the sunrise. and today was a special show, he was absolutely shattered because your scent was slowly vanishing. 

all chigiri can do is pinch the bridge of his nose in foiling, “listen, how about we go out or something? there's a nearby place we can get lunch and-”

“they used to love that restaurant¦” reo whines, shoving his phone into the redhead face, it carried a picture of you smiling blissfully and unaware, cheeks rife with food. “they're.. cute, so cute it makes me want to die.” falling backwards on the silky duvet of the queen-sized bed. 

“Please don't, I still need my monthly allowance on genshin.” the one time nagi decided to finally say something, it had to be this. and chigiri never wanted to zip up someone's mouth so badly.

“you keep on stabbing yourself in the throat, you dumbass. if you can't do it then I'll do it for you.” stretching out his arm, opening up his palms for reo to hand over the phone and get this over with already.

in an instant, the phone was being embraced tightly to his chest, “no! I can do it myself, I just need some time," Chigiri just raised his hands in surrender, mumbling a quick ‘whatever’ as he jumped out the bed, leaving the extra space for his friend to grieve, alone.

it was a miracle that his tears still remain un-parched. Every photo he scroll through, the lump in his throat narrows painfully. clinching his lips upwards every time he crossed over while you were smiling, it hurts so good. He doesn't recognize whatever the knot in his stomach was reducing in sorrow or ecstatic.

he wasn't trashing any of those, he couldn't find it in his heart too. instead of criticizing himself of what he should've said to make you stay, what could've he done to swoon your heart instead of fleeting it. you'll keep on tip-toeing around his heartstrings and he'll let you without a charge.

he squeaked in his pillow, he just kept on bruising himself, torturing himself by the dim memory of what the two of you had once. something that not even money could regain or even soothe on. he yearned for one more kiss, one more embrace, one more chance to get a glimpse of you and he'll die a happy man, that's a lie, he'll misses you even after death.

he wished for you to come and haunt him, eat him to bits. but it was like he was the one haunting the crumbs of you.

on the middle of his groaning mess, an amber eyes staring sharply at him, his figure casting a shadow over his state. “here, drink up.” nonchalant, he handed him a random juice he ‘eeny, meeny’ his way to. reo accepted the drink, his arm sluggishly taking it. chigiri swore he was about to crack the glass over his head if he wouldn't stop this pitiful little act of his.

“why are you even this hardcore sad? you were never like this in the last weeks.”

“it's their anniversary, but not anymore I guess.” nagi shrugged, still too focused on the screen of his phone to pay the slightest amount of attention. turning a blind eye when reo flinches a bit at his truthful words 

“have anyone told you you're a terrible human being?” 

one sip, a second one. and his lilac eyes were watering for a million time. “they used to love this drink.” he whispered.

“i genuinely hope you choke on it.” 

rin: it got so bad, he talked to sae about it.. running a few years backwards, if you told the sixteen years old itoshi rin he'd be seeking his own deadbeat of a brother to vent he'd spit out in your face with no second thought.

and if he could, he would've. because rin was rethinking his life choices, taking a step back every second yet taking two ahead then comprehending once again. and now there was no going back, what was between him and the urgent fate was a wooden door. 

his hands buried deep in his pockets instead of making an attempt to knock. he found gazing at his pair of shoes much more entertaining. 

he didn't have it in his head to think straight, not when you clouded over like an angry storm, all he can do is take it and let your teardrop roll down his face, or maybe they were his own tears, he couldn't savvy it. 

after a deep lungful of air, rin thrust his forward, just an inch away, only to stop briskly. sae? really? just how desperate is he? very. he come to cuss himself for counting you as the one and only person he apostrophizes with. if only he’d listen when you would rant about him approving his social skills, he should've listened instead plugging his ears. He wished he listened to a lot of things you said..

in a rush, the door unlocked in a swift. almost making him funk backwards, unraveling the sight of his older brother, standing unimpressed. and before rin could speak a word, sae took the lead. 

“you know I could see your shadow casting under my doorstep, right?” 

Rin clicks his tongue in annoyance, and when he doesn't reply, the reddish head moves to the side, and rin steers his way in. shutting the door behind him, sae jog away, letting him take off his shoes. not even a proper welcome, he shouldn't have gotten his hopes up.

the apartment was quite tidy, a strong aroma loomed underneath his nose. Despite that, it was awkwardly dull, not even ghosts would bother haunting it. rin takes a seat in a solo couch, fumbling his fingers in a bothersome way, the silence was a deadline, not anything he wasn't used to.

It was just the first time rin had come here, by himself. without an actual family required to stick to the back. 

or without you.

unintentionally, Rin's leg keeps thrusting. a bad habit of his when the tension gets thick. every passing second he berates himself even further, damn him for having only one path to seek solace in, for allowing only one soul to soothe over his frail heart, for authorizing only one embrace to delay him.

and damn you for carving open his heart. just to leave him to bleed.

the echoing steps of sae cut his strails of thoughts. settling down his cup of hot tea. rin raised a brow at the uncivil manner. “you didn't ask for one.” his brother shrugs calmly, oh he was driving him nuts with this unchanged attitude. 

breathe in, rin.

reverberating voice called, so he obeys. straighten his pouster. “I wanted to talk to you about something. it's important.” 

“I can tell. and your sidekick is nowhere to be found, did they finally ditch you?”

his hands clutching up in a makeshift ball, rin says nothing.

“oh, so they did?” sae blows a few times over the overheated cup, taking a sip then uttering something under his breath. “Well, that's unfortunate.” adding another cube of sugar as he retorted. 

rin only got something out of this, that his brother didn't give a single fuck. and it drove him to the edge.

“You can at least pretend that you care.”

“never said I didn't.”

“you didn't have to, it's fucking showing.” rin seethed, his clenched hand striking the table balance, making the sugar cubes fall out of place. his anger was collapsing even the sweetest floras.

that doesn't nuge sae the slightest, but makes him frowns his brows a bit, because he was the one who had to sweep that off later.

the tension was solid and bulky, and Rin refused to break eye contact with the equal hues. Daring him to say something, anything. Yet he took it as a challenge, like he always does. The only way he communicates with sae is by beating him, proving himself. He'll die on that hill, even if it killed him itself. even if it has killed you already.

he knew this was a stupid idea, he should've just rotted in bed, he should've kept on living in the repeated circle of misery. He should've just lived up with every rush of breeze rustling his mistakes over and over, where he could've sworn that it was your voice.

breath, rin.

he was fucking trying. 

“So what do you want me to do about it? be your wingman and pair you together again?” 

“or, you could just say nothing. listening is enough.”

after a moment of silence, sae shoulders ease up. a guster pointed for him to keep going. so rin dose, he rants and rants like he had the time of the world right in his palms. It was mostly about you, how you were something that became his everything, how he should've stopped you like he wanted to, how he let you be driven away like he always does, how he should've apologized like he was supposed to. 

blustring about ‘what the if’s’ and what would've happened if he just.. he loved you like you loved him.. if only he tried. he can't blame it on his immense ego, his lack of communication, the digged hole on his soul that you bleeded to fill, you gave all your flesh till there was nothing left but bones.

he could've rebuilt the broken pieces of your heart, but they were too sharp to hold. He bled within every one, he was bleeding to ashes, to nothingness. 

you loved till there was nothing left to love about you. you drained down the hill. not even his blood could fulfill you.

his voice would crack, a dust cloud blows over his eyes, yet sae would stare at him ever so flatly. if he even dares to say disappointment. disappointed that his younger brother was just a copy past of him. 

someone that kills everything he touches.

When rin has nothing left to say, sae stands up. reaching his pocket for a card that carries a name and a number. as the dark-head flipped the card between his fingers, blood-thirst eyes narrowed at him.

“a fucking therapist? are you fucking kidding me?"

“you clearly need one.”

“I don't, is this some kind of lukewarm joke?”

“stop being corny, I'm trying to help you here. if you aren't willing to let yourself feel the sense of loss, you can suit yourself out.”

and with that, sae turns his back to him. like he always does. climbing the stairs to his bedroom, leaving rin to reconsider where his actions have driven him, how beyond it threw it all. 

although, he’ll never let himself feel the sense of loss. never. He'd rather be haunted by you than be alone forever, he'll be a stray till you pick him up again.

lmao wrote this with nagi plushie watching me like a hawk

[cxffecoupx]

when jihoon comes home in the evening, he finds wonwoo sitting in their shared apartment, idly shuffling through the programs on television, trying to appear unbothered. maybe it's the 3 years of being roommates, but jihoon sees clearly through the guise.

just as his friend is about to greet him, the phone rings and wonwoo almost flies across the room to get the call.

simp behaviour, jihoon thinks to himself.

wonwoo perks up at your name displayed on your phone. the sound of your sniffles the next minute worries him almost instantly.

"can you come pick me up?"

all things that could probably have gone wrong rushed into his mind. did your date not go well? was he an asshole? did you have a malfunction? was he not the type of guy you expected? but he pushed them aside as he ran to where you said you were.

and he found you sitting on the sidewalk in front of a store. hugging yourself, because of the cold or because you were... lonely?

as soon as he tapped your shoulder, you turned to him and wonwoo's heart shatters. tears pooled in your eyes, some rolling down your cheeks. nose red. lips chapped as if you had been biting on it. he knew you were; he knew you do that when you were anxious.

he doesn't say anything, simply wrapping you in his arms as you start to break down against him. those walking past look at you both weirdly, but you don't notice and wonwoo doesn't care. all his thoughts right now were concerning you.

you pull away after a while, and wonwoo wipes away any stray tears.

"cmon, let's get you out of here," he says and pulls you up, side-hugging you as he leads you.

you end up in a park, and sit on nearby swings in silence. you clear your throat to speak.

"he didn't show up."

the swing squeaks as you swing it lightly. you let out a laugh, but wonwoo doesn't have to look to know it's to mask your cry.

"he's... i've had a crush on him for what, two years now? i was so looking forward to this and... he never showed up."

wonwoo doesn't say anything. his heart is aching but he continues to draw on the ground with his feet.

"go ahead. tell me. tell me that you told me so."

"i should have listened to you. i shouldn't have come. I shouldn't even have worn a dress, or dolled up. i shouldn't even have accepted it," you start crying again and he sighs before standing up and hugging you once again.

wonwoo starts, "you never knew. it's okay, dear. you didn't know all this could happen." he takes your face in his hands and wipes your tears away. you have a slight pout on your soft, red lips, and wonwoo has to control every cell in his body to not kiss it away right now.

"let me tell you something. he doesn't deserve your tears. you know what? let's go back to my house, and we can eat some spicy ramen and bitch about him with jihoon. you know he loves a good gossip."

the thought makes you chuckle and you stand up.

"okay, let's go... i don't know what I'd have done if I didn't have you as my best friend."

wonwoo just laughs.

he just laughs because he doesn't want to let you know that he wants to scream right now.

because that's what he'll ever be. just a 'best friend'.

but he tells himself it's okay. he knows he'll never break your heart, but until that day comes, he'll always be there to pick up your pieces.

im so sorry I ghosted yall😭 i have an exam this weekend and absolutely zero urge to do anything BUT I will get back to posting after the exam please forgive me😭🙇‍♀️

[thelov3lybookworm]

I Didn't Ask For This (part seven)

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6

Summary: Marriage had always been something sacred to little Y/n, something dream like, where her husband would come and whisk her away to a fairyland. At least, that's what she had always thought.

All her dreams would be shattered.

But maybe she can salvage them?

•○●⛦●○•

Tw: forced marriage, none more that I can think of, so let me know if I need to add anything.

A/n: Thanks to all the anons who gave me ideas for this! I love you all soo much. Also, the dress is not too scandalous (because girlie would have a heart attack if it were) but enough to make him drool😉

And, also, this one is mostly Nesta and reader's friendship and fluff, but there will be an angsty part soon where babygirl slaps babyboi so bear with me.

Edit: Okay yall, the thing I wrote above? It was before I started writing, and now, let me tell you, there is some angst and sadness too, near the end. I was actually planning for the parts from now on to be mostly fluffy, but this new story line is pretty good too, and filled with angst 😌 and who doesn't love some angst?

•○🌑○•

Y/n sat calmly on Nesta's bed, sipping tea as Nesta threw her clothes out from her wardrobe, searching for something she deemed suitable for the dinner date Y/n was going on with Azriel.

Y/n was going to wear one of her everyday dresses, but when Nesta was told about the dinner, she started panicking as if Y/n was going to a war.

When Y/n said as much, Nesta had flicked her hair back and said, 'there is not much difference between the two. You always take part in it to win.'

And of course, no one could argue with Nesta, so here they were.

Finally, after what seemed like eternity, Nesta came and plopped down next to Y/n, sighing. Y/n set aside her empty tea cup before turning to her.

"And? Did you find something that suited your preferences?" Nesta shook her head sadly before she sat up, excited once more.

"I can ask Mor for something."

"Nesta–"

Y/n didn't have a chance to speak before Nesta was running out of the room. Y/n shook her head and leaned back against the headboard, thinking of what would happen at the dinner.

Soon, Nesta had come back with a black fitted dress. It would have been okay if not for the thin straps that were holding it up and the neckline that concealed nothing.

"You want me to wear that? No. Not happening."

"Come on! It's a beautiful dress! Just for tonight. I won't force you to wear anything again."

Y/n contemplated for a moment before shrugging and taking the dress. When she had changed into it, Nesta forced her to sit in front of the vanity and started doing her hair. It was so elaborate that with every passing moment, Y/n's fear of whether she'd be able to undo it herself increased.

Only time would tell.

•○🌑○•

"Okay, so let's go over this again. If he tries to do something you don't like, what will you do?" Nesta stood next to Y/n, ticking things off on her fingers. She'd been at it long enough that Y/n wondered if she should just go to sleep and cancel the dinner with her husband.

"Nesta! We've been doing this for the past couple of hours! I get what you're trying to say!" When Nesta just stared at her, Y/n sighed. "I tell him I don't like it?"

"No! See, you say you understand what I'm saying, then get all the wrong answers!"

"Then what is the correct answer?"

"You kick him between the legs and run away–"

"Nesta, no–"

"Nesta yes. That's what you will do. Understand?" When Y/n nodded exasperatedly, Nesta continued. "Let's go over this again because you don't pay attention to me. Okay, so–"

Footsteps sounded and Azriel appeared. And, even though Y/n wasn't really excited or interested in going out with him, she still sent out a prayer of thanks to the Nother. Because the longer he took to come, the longer Nesta would go on and on about the subtle art of kicking males.

He suddenly stopped short, his eyes surveying Y/n from head to toe. His lips parted as he slowly looked up into her eyes. His pupils were blown wide, his neck and face flushed. He held a bouquet of flowers in his slack hand. He was wearing a finely tailored suit, which fit him in all the perfect ways, showing off his powerful and beautiful body.

Nesta suddenly snapped her fingers, effectively bringing out the couple from the daze they had been in.

Y/n looked away, blushing, as Azriel cleared his throat. He extended the bouquet to his wife, his face becoming redder as she took it. "For y–" He began, but Nesta cut him off.

"She knows it's for her, obviously."

Azriel blinked, taken aback, before nodding. "I think it'd be best if you–"

"You want me to keep that in your room? I doubt you'd be able to do much with those flowers in your hand." Nesta cut in again, not bothering to hide her glee. Y/n nodded slowly, her eyes jumping between the two in front of her as Nesta took the flowers from her. Azriel stared at a spot behind Y/n, his jaw hard.

"I think we should get–" As he began, Nesta spoke up again, to no ones surprise.

"It's getting late. You should leave–"

"Nesta." Azriel said in a dangerously soft voice, a muscle ticking in his jaw. "Don't you have something to do other than talk about kicking a male and interrupting people when they talk?"

Nesta stared at him, indifferent, her eyebrows raised. Y/n looked away, hiding her small smile behind her hand as she pretended to facepalm.

Finally, after the battle Azriel was engaged in ended–thank the cauldron– he stepped forward and held out his hands. Behind him, Y/n saw Nesta wink at her with a mischievous grin. Y/n smiled back, shaking her head an she took Azriel's hand and he pulled her closer.

They took off into the night air, his hands clutching her tight. The flight to the place he had decided was quiet.

As soon as they landed, he offered her his arm, which she eyed suspiciously before turning away. She could practically feel his embarrassment, self consciousness and awkwardness as he lowered the arm and led her to a table in the back.

From the looks of it, this place was expensive. From the numerous chandeliers and the seating to the cutlery and the finest details on the walls and the designs and the architecture, everything screamed expensive.

He pulled out a seat for her, but she walked to the other one and sat herself down. His face was red a he sat down opposite her. As they ordered their food, Azriel asked the waiter to not use peas as Y/n wasn't really fond of peas.

Y/n's eyes were slightly wide as she regarded Azriel. How did he know? When she said as much, he smiled and explained, "I remember you used to complain about how much you despised peas."

"My preferences could have changed." She pointed out.

His smile faltered. "I'm so sorry, I just assumed–"

"It's okay." She cut him off. "I still don't like them."

The dinner was mostly silent despite Azriel's continuous efforts. Whenever he said something, she just hummed or nodded. When he asked her something, she gave short one word answers.

She didn't want to talk to him, and even though she had agreed to have dinner with him, there had been no promises about talking to him. So she stayed quiet, focusing on the food and occasionally finding him staring at her outfit, his lips parted or him biting them. When he realised he was caught, he would return to his food, his face redder than before.

And, despite her initial resentment of the dress she was wearing, she didn't regret wearing it, if it meant she would get to see this flustered side of him.

Soon, they were done and leaving the restraunt when he spoke up.

"Would you like to take a walk and explore Velaris?" From the look in his eyes, he expected her to say yes. And she would've if she didn't hate him. But she did, and so she wanted to spend minimal time with him.

"No. I would like to go home."

"Oh– okay." He looked away for a moment before picking her up and leaping onto the air. While the ride to the restraunt has been comfortable, the ride back was anything but. It was so tense that a blunt knife could have cut through it.

When they landed on the balcony, she turned to walk away. The tension finally exploded. Or Azriel did. Same thing.

He caught her wrist and tugged her to him, her back against his front as his arm wrapped around her, just below her chest.

"What's the matter with you?" He murmured in her ear, his hot breath washing over her face.

"I don't know what you're talking about." She grunted, trying to get free.

"Is it Nesta? Did she tell you to ignore me?"

"Obviously not. Why would she–"

"Then why? Why have you been so cold towards me? Can't you see I'm trying to make this work? You're making it difficult to–"

"I'm just doing what we agreed to. You wanted to have dinner with me, I did. There was no mention of talking to you."

Finally, she managed to free herself from his suddenly slack hold, and when she turned to him, her chest heaving, she found him gaping at her.

"Are you serious?" He whispered, emotions swirling in his beautiful eyes.

Y/n looked away, knowing she was hurting him. But she couldn't help it. She couldn't hand her heart over so easily, knowing if she did, he would have the power over her, and she couldn't let anyone have that power, not so soon after having her first taste of freedom.

He started laughing, her head whipping to him. He took a step back, then another, turning as silver lined his eyes. He leaned on his palms that rested on the railings, shaking his head, grinning like a maniac. He was quiet for a few moments.

"If you don't want to give me a chance, then just say so. I'll leave you alone. Don't need to pretend–"

"I wasn't–"

"Don't. Fucking don't. I get it. You don't want to be with me. You don't even want to try. Just say the words and I'll leave you alone. Don't need to toy with my heart."

"And what of my heart, Azriel? What if you break my heart?"

"I won't! Why do you think everyone, I, have an obsession with breaking your heart? Why–"

"Because you have done it before Azriel! And I don't think I could handle another heartbreak–"

He whipped around, stepping into her, making her crane her head back to look at him. His head was bent to look at her, their noses nearly touching. "I apologised for that already! And I'm trying to right the wrongs! What else do I need to do to gain your trust? Will hurting me help? You know what? Here." He pulled out the only dagger that he had on him and wrapped her hand around the hilt. She tried to pull away, her eyes wide and her heart beating loudly. But his hold was firm as he put the dagger to his chest, his eyes blazing.

"Stab me. Hurt me. Kill me if that's what it takes for you to–" He didn't finish the sentence, his chest heaving. "Do it." She shook her head, her eyes prickling. He huffed and turned away again, leaning on the railing. "Leave, Y/n. And don't worry, I won't bother you again."

Y/n's chest caved at the emotion in his voice, which shook and broke on the last part. She didn't mean to hurt him, and she knew she should clarify why she couldn't trust him.

Her hand rose, shaking.

But just before she could place it on his tense shoulder, she stopped. Would it help? If she told him the reason, would it mend the wounds she had unknowingly inflicted? She didn't think it would.

So she curled her hand into a fist and let it drop back to her side, stepping back and turning away. She needed some time alone, both of them did. She'd talk to him tomorrow.

And as she walked away, she let the tears slip from her eyes.

But she didn't know that behind her, her husband also let the tears flow, his heart aching.

•○🌑○•

Taglist: @bubybubsters @maxxieluvs @bubbbllee @buckyandgeraltsupremacy @waytoomanyteenagefeels @tell-me-a-poem @the-lake-is-calling @spaxxxi @japanese-wonderland-blog @valeridarkness @moonlwghts @deadratio @esposadomd @harrystylesfan2686 @missusbarnes-rogers @whatthefuckshappeningrn @hyacinthoideshispanica @historygeekqueen @lizziesfirstwife @nastynesta @aroseinvelaris @nightless @cleverzonkwombatsludge @kodokunarisu-blog @selillusion @eos-princess @moonfawnx @a-court-of-milkandhoney @emilyo-218 @wannabewolf @ailyr92 @chronically-online-cheese @myheartfollower @hells-sluttiest-new-arrival @marina468 @menaosama @starryhiraeth @hereticdance @mali22 @valencia-rou @azrielsstarlight @marvelouslovely-barnes @luvmoo @starlight-hope @a-frog-with-a-laptop @fall-myriad @alt-ghost @elleofdragons @ruleroftides @5moremin @stargirl1714

Part 8

[tremendum]

Mr. Miller's Show

[not my gif]   pairing: joel miller x fem!reader (afab, some use of she/her, use of the words girl/woman)     rating: explicit. (18+. mdni.) word count: 7.3k  (back to regularly scheduled programming) requested: yes thank you all for all the patience srsly <3 summary: “'like how sweet you've been t'me, sugar," he mutters gently, head tilting, "why y'gonna go and fuck all that up now?'" warnings: gendered words (girl, woman, etc) allusions to PTSD, porn with feelings, guys theyre like getting healthier, SMUT (PiV unprotected), oral (M receiving), deepthroating, rough sex, face-fucking, shower smut, counter smut, reader is a tease, masturbation (f), marijuana use as always lol, brief voyeurism, canon-typical violence, age gap (undefined but mentioned), ass play (spitting, fingering, only a bit sorryyyy), mirror sex again bc im a whore, reader has hair long enough to grab, hair pulling, lots of choking, spit kink, light slapping (f receiving, consensual), dirty talk, praise kink but also degradation, use of words like slut, brat tamer!joel, overstimulation, MEAN!JOEL YALL, but he has feelings so he’s also kinda soft!dom in this again, once again sooo unedited that it hurts.  notes: finally finally after over a month im back!! hope you enjoy this chapter, ive been having rough writers block with this story so any suggestions and requests are very welcomed!!! thanks for all the love and as always, comments & reblogs w tags are motivation and help out so much!!! love u all <3 also for the taglist, it's too big now and i may consider stopping my taglist, just letting everyone know!!! ill lyk if i do ofc but im reblogging with the list this time.

[this is part six of the Mr Miller series. read previous part sympathy for the devil.  main masterlist here. ]

★  

"you're wearing earrings." 

Joel's voice cuts through the serene chill in the air, shocking you enough to have your head turning away from where you stare ahead - you crane your neck too much, but you can just see the dusted gray and dark of his curls behind you as your brows raise. 

it takes you a second to understand the sentence he's just uttered to you out of nowhere- but you blink to life, clearing your throat as the dead trees pass you by. 

"oh. yeah, it's... they're new. didn't really wear stuff like that until..." you shrug, trailing off as you stare forward yet again. your heart thumps as his chest rumbles against your back - jesus, he's so close to you. it's been weeks since he's been this close, even if this is just work.

your body wants what it wants, you suppose.

your lips purse, lost in the press of his thick body behind you.

"-till?" 

your lip twitches in a smile for a split moment; he's waiting for you to finish your sentence. as if he cares.

Joel... 

he's been so normal recently. or as normal as you could ever imagine Joel Miller to be; full sentence-conversations full of questions, full sentences, and even an occasional joke or dry line littered in with his glares and eye-rolls. he's even taught you and ellie to woodwork, nodded in hello when you picked up Ellie on your way into town - hell, he'd actually gotten a drink with you after patrol a few days ago and held eye contact for a whole thirty minutes.

a fucking miracle.

and even, on rare occasions, you are rewarded with that mind-splitting, earth-shattering smile - a very rare but rewarding sight. the kind that shocks a room, silences you and Ellie both, lights the sun and makes the birds sing. makes your stomach flutter.

so perhaps things have changed. 

it makes you almost laugh to yourself, recalling that day so many moons ago when you had walked into the Bison and first stared into those stony eyes; how big his calloused hands were, the way his lip lifted in distaste at your crass words. 

the sway of the horse makes your hips move gently; your ass is starting to feel sore at the constant motion and as you rock forward with the decline of the hill, you feel Joel's body slide slightly as though he tries against everything to press fully against you. even though you wish he would. 

heat paints your face as you feel his breath on your neck, waiting patiently for you to finish your sentence.

your sharp breath exhales as you realize you've hesitated at his questioning, a bit too long - you smile sheepishly, shrugging. "-sorry, didn't..." you clear your throat, "couldn't remember the last time I wore earrings. not that it matters, but I just..." you thumb the makeshift earring back, grinning to the mane of the horse as he trudges you and Joel both along. 

"-it feels nice. makes me feel like myself." you finish, shrugging awkwardly. 

for all of the steps Joel has taken in the last few weeks to change, there are some things you still have a hard time with.

talking about yourselves and opening up is a very large, unmovable hurdle that you and him are still clearly trying to pull yourselves over. it's quiet for a second as your words seep into the dead surroundings, less than an hour from town. 

"look nice." he grunts quietly, his arms pressing slightly from where he straddles the saddle behind your frame. 

your eyes widen at the seemingly random compliment, face flooding with flattery and embarrassment. your grin betrays you, but you don't dare stutter out a broken thank you for fear that you will sound like a croaking frog; instead, you purse your lips over the giddy grin that spreads over your cheeks and hope that as he stares at the profile of your face, he can see the flattery written across your features. 

"Ellie has a matching pair." you say instead, sparing a quick glance back at Joel. his brows raise, jaw ticking as he takes in the information - your voices both echo at the same time as you speak over each other suddenly: 

"she doesn't have her ears pierced."  "in case she ever gets them pierced." 

you let out a short huff of laughter, nodding sheepishly at having accidentally interrupted each other; Joel shakes his head with a ghost of a smile. 

"got it." he nods, "s'real nice of you." he nods, "making a pair for her, too." 

his chest is right on you - broad, warm through all the layers, and smelling of pine, whiskey, sage. amber. it's intoxicating as his drawl rumbles in the back of your ear - you silently thank Tommy or whoever the hell it was who ordered half the horses to rest after a bout of sickness spread through the stable; sharing a horse has never once before today seemed like a good idea. 

but the good idea sours quickly when you kick speed slightly, the horse leaping over a small creek as your hips shift back into Joel's and your ass presses into him. 

your mouth dries as you shakily exhale; he's so close to you - smells so good. your hands grip the reigns tighter and you nearly jump when a large, calloused hand falls onto your hips to steady you after the change in pace. 

your mind travels back to that morning after you'd stayed with Joel in his own bed - how gentle his hands had been as he'd guided you towards your own house under the early morning sunrise; your eyes bleary with sleep but his smile still cracking bashfully when you'd kissed his cheek, muttering about how maybe Ellie'd missed your boots by the front door when she'd come home. 

she and Joel certainly haven't said anything you if she did notice, anyways. 

you clear your throat, ignoring the searing desire that spirals from where his hand touches your clothed hip; you shrug, "she said she liked mine, so I figured we could match." 

he hums lowly at your word, his nose brushing slightly over the crown of your head. shivers roll over your shoulders as you swallow, retreating into the silence that you've lived in for the last few weeks since the two of you were put back on patrol. 

but you stiffen when a hand runs down your side, over the jagged stitching of your jacket, and you suck in a sharp inhale. his other hand slides forward, hooking gently around your hip, fingers splaying over the very top of your thigh and your throat dries up; a faint desire awakened and soon screaming at you. you squirm under his touch.

Joel's hips adjust behind you gently in the next second, your eyes fluttering shut as you imagine him pulling you into him, his hard cock sliding between the round globes of your ass and through your dripping folds, his hands greedy and hungry; his words sharp, teasing. his touch, sweet. intoxicating- 

your eyes open again and your heart skips a beat, his knees hitting the outside of your thighs. 

christ. your whole body tingles as you shift slightly, rotating your hips as the buck of the horse's cant tilts you further away from the heat of his broad chest. no, you can't stand his teasing - intentional or not, Joel is making you nearly melt in desire.

jesus.

you're barely pulling the horse to the side of the path when, with barely a crane of his neck,  Joel mutters, "the hell are y'doin?" 

you suddenly pull the reins and mutter woah, slipping yourself off of the horse and onto the hard ground with a burning face, your lungs screaming for air as Joel protests. 

"what-" he grunts as he pulls himself down from the stirrups, face etched with irritation and concern at your sudden evacuation, "is there an issue?" 

you can hear the irritation in his voice and you sigh, shaking your head - your heart's thundering, face hot and surely laced with poorly-hid embarrassment. god, what the fuck is wrong with you? there's barely forty minutes back to Jackson, why couldn't you just suck it up for a few more torturous minutes until you could return home to your trusty drawer and hot shower? 

"no." you snap, "no problem, Joel." your heart is thundering with surprise at his concern, eyes glaring daggers at him before shooting down towards the heat that nearly blisters on your forearm; his hand, warm and gentle, asking silently if you're okay. your eyes soften before you can school your expression - he reads you, as always, like his favorite novel. 

his hand falls away gently, grazing your finger tips like the gentlest breeze on your face and it still surprises you. 

"alright," he says softly, eyes searching your flustered appearance. "can we get back on the horse, then?" he asks - his voice is surprisingly patient, though his eyes are wary. irritated, but concerned. 

you clear your throat, unable to contain yourself much longer. "we could- take a break." 

his brows raise, tilting his head, "a break? we're nearly back. s'almost nightfall." 

you shift your weight, avoiding the way his corded arms cross over each other, his frame towering over yours as you dully throb in arousal. 

"you're-" you squeak, shaking your head, "you're fucking crowding me, and I need- fuck-" you groan, "just- just fuck off for a second, Joel." you snap, bursting in frustration, unsure how to just admit you are being driven fucking crazy with lust by his presence. 

his head tilts, "fuck off?" his eyes are darker every second you stand, facing each other- "the hell's gotten into you?" he sounds offended, and your heart flips as you feel bad - you're trying, you're trying so hard to be normal around him, as he is with you - so one touch, one innocent adjustment of his hips and now you're freaking out on him again?

you need to get a grip, or at least be honest. 

your face burns as his stern gaze rolls over each curve of your body; "Joel, you're driving me fucking crazy." you snap, glaring at him.

he looks shocked, hands flying out, "I barely said anythin' this whole goddamn day, how the hell am I still fucking this up?" he snaps back, irritated - his eyes incredulous as he stares down at you.

flames lick up your sides as you grind your teeth - his hair looks much more wavy with his curls today, and the green of his jacket it making the golden on his skin nearly glow; you nearly growl as you jump towards him. he's too much. too fucking much.

your hands lock on his shoulders, tugging yourself up towards his face as your lips fall against his. 

the kiss is a shock to you both. 

you're not sure what really compelled you to do it - the stubble over his sharp jaw, his hair, the way his thighs pressed against the outsides of yours just minutes ago, the way he pressed on about the earrings - whatever, it doesn't matter, because he's kissing you back and you're melting like butter over a campfire. 

his lips press hard back against yours through his shocked inhale, surging against you in a dizzying haze of Joel.

but the kiss is seared away from your lips when Joel suddenly shoots his thick hand out, rising to grip hard at your throat, shoving you backwards. 

it's more shocking than the sudden kiss - the speed in which he pulls back and pushes you hard backwards by his warm grip, causing flutters of arousal to course through your stomach.

you stumble in shock but he keeps his hold on you, passionate as he movers the two of you back. you're torn away from his warmth as he presses you with one hand on the small of your back and the other on the beating pulse of your throat - right against a tree, nudging you as he tilts his head down to your height once more. 

he's back on you in no less than a split second; his heat swirling around the cold air, teeth nipping at your lip when you take a moment longer than he'd like to open your lips to his tongue. he groans against you, a warm and deep thing that you feel in your own chest as your hand slides up to his hair, tugging at the base of his neck. 

the fingers around your throat flex and tighten in reaction to your own grip and the moan that rips from your throat sends his hips in a slow thrust against yours. 

you've been desperate for his touch for fucking days - he's been walking on eggshells even after you'd spent the night with him a few weeks ago. he'd barely touched you, taking his time trying to make up for all the lost time you'd spent trying to rip each other's heads off instead of your clothes.

and sure, you don't know who you are with him still - nothing defined, and a lot of things still unspoken - but for the first time since this whole mess started, that doesn't bother you. there's not much anger, nor jealousy - just... Joel. and you. 

it's not bad. 

his lips leave yours as he breathes against your lips, "like how sweet you've been t'me, sugar," he mutters gently, head tilting, "why y'gonna go and fuck all that up now?" 

his hand slips from your back lower, tugging you against his semi-hard cock as his fingers squeeze your ass. his hand lies just below your jugular, thumb soothing over your cold skin as his dark eyes glint with desire. you feel a rush of arousal pool between your legs as you raise your brows. 

"-you need to stop fucking touching me like that when we're riding, Miller." you growl against his lips, staring back at him. you lean slightly to catch his lips with yours once again but he pulls back with a strong hand against your neck to stop you - teasing.

he tuts, "you need to learn how to use your words, sweetheart." he growls against you, teeth catching on your bottom lip.

you whimper at the sharp sting, chasing him as if you could steal a kiss. he tilts his head just out of reach, his hand pressing against you until your breath comes out slightly ragged; your pussy flutters as he squeezes, knee sliding against your clothed core. 

"if you want it, ask for it, baby." he all but demands, hands rough against you, "can't just throw a fit every time you're aching for my cock, or else you'll be whinin' all goddamn day. how am I supposed to know-" 

but there's a snap of a twig somewhere behind you and you both spring apart, straight as boards, hackles raised.

it's almost like deja-vu as you're both thrown from your stupor - ripping away, your voices cease as your hand flies to your hunting knife - in your peripheral, you see that Joel's slung around his rifle so quick you're almost impressed as you both stare to your left. 

christ - just the fucking horse, tied to the tree. stepped on a twig. 

you let out a shaky breath, hand falling onto Joel's chest as you almost wheeze out a relieved laugh. but your hand feels it, suddenly - you notice how stiff Joel is, even after you've both realized there's no threats. 

his heart, thundering in his chest wildly. like a caged animal surrounded by a pack of wild, ravenous wolves; Joel's heart tries to scramble right out of his chest and onto the dead ground. 

that feeling - the one that creeps around at night when you wake up with memories of that cabin, of those raiders - of your past, visions of Joel, surrounded by red. that feeling that creeps up, squeezing at your throat and banging on your chest.

he's feeling it, too.

it's not from arousal, though you can see enough of that in his eyes, in the way his lips part and ragged breaths puff into the air - no, not arousal. 

fear. 

your heart hammers similarly, you suddenly notice. your hand shakes as it hovers near your knife; his hands grip the rifle so tight the blood may burst forth from the roughened skin any second. 

"hey," you whisper, suddenly worried to speak above any quiet noise. his eyes are sharp and his jaw clenched as he looks back at you, wild and alarmed. 

as if he were ready to fight for his life and yours. 

"let's go home," you whisper, thumb running over the shoulder of his jacket, muscles strained and still below the layers.

he snaps out of it, eyes falling to rake over you as if assuring that you're still in front of him in one piece. his hand finds yours on his chest, sliding it off - not unkindly; his hand squeezes yours before boosting you up onto the double saddle silently. 

Joel insists on walking you back to your house; he's brooding, as normal, as you both trudge back from turning in your patrol log and tracking the mud from the stable through the quiet streets.

you don't speak about what happened in the woods - the kiss, nor the twig snapping, but you ache and as you walk, every brush of the backs of your hands send shooting sparks up your arm.

"damn it," he grunts under his breath as you lead him up your driveway. you lift a brow at him, silent prompt to explain his expletive. 

he shakes his head, "s'nothin'. forgot Ellie said the water heater ain't workin', said she was stayin' with her friend Dina till I fix it. cold shower for me tonight." 

you grimace; the air nips at your cheeks, you can't imagine a cold shower in this weather. you shrug, "use mine." you suggest, tilting your head. "no point in turning into an icicle, Miller, you're cold enough as is." you tease, sending him a small wink.

something in you wonders if the shower really is broken, or if he just can't bring himself to ask; not that you can blame him. you can't bring yourself to ask, either.

your heart flutters when Joel rolls his eyes but still trudges after you, through the entrance of your home. his eyes look just as tired as you feel but there's a spark to them, one that coaxes more warmth between your thighs.

you see his eyes catch on the partially-smoked joint put out on the ashtray on your kitchen table as you slide past it; you have a mind to grab it before you make your way up the stairs, pretending not to feel too hot when you feel Joel's eyes graze over the sway of your hips. 

he showers first, you insist. 

while he does so, you strip out of your clothes and into a more comfortable sleeping shirt and shorts. you sit, smoking lazily on the joint, savoring the sharp herbal taste as it flows into your blood and trying to ignore the throbbing desire when the sound of the shower shuts off. 

Joel's respectful when he leaves your bathroom, pants on and shirt tugged over his chest, speckled with dots of moisture. his hair is much darker and more curled just after a shower; you're transfixed as you stand in front of him, joint smoldering between your lips, an exhale of smoke swirling lazily from your nostrils. 

"may I?" he asks suddenly, causing you to nod, pulling the joint out from your lips and noting how his own dark eyes follow it like a horse to a carrot; you smirk, tutting. "and to think, all this time you've been judging me for it?" you shake your head. "shame on you."

his jaw ticks and you just smirk, shaking your head as you hold the joint up to his lips boldly. "you're a bad influence on me, aren't you, Mr. Miller?" you ask, voice sultry as you peer up at him through your lashes. his eyes flick to yours as he inhales, your fingers ghosting over his plush lips. the ones you kissed not an hour earlier.

the air is thick in your room, steam from the hot water creeping through as Joel inhales the weed, ember lighting up your eyes in his. you leave the joint between his parted lips, opting to strip down as you walk towards the shower, hoping Joel had the mind to watch as you go. 

your heart thuds in arousal and excitement when you hear his sharp exhale, still refusing to turn around as you leave the door slightly open once again. you and your innocent habit of leaving the bathroom door open when you shower.  

you're relieved there's some fog over the glass door of the shower, but you take your time cleansing your hair, running soap over your face and then slowly, slowly lathering up your skin. 

you can feel him watch the entire time.

his eyes are like a hawk's; you can see his shadow through the light of the bathroom, the ember of your joint glowing occasionally as your hands run over the wet planes of your skin.

your shaky fingers cascade down, over the skin of your stomach, lower until they just barely graze where you ache. it's like he's been waiting for you to finally start to touch yourself; just as your fingers find your slit, the amber of the joint is tamped, ashed on the windowsill. 

you hum lowly as your fingers swirl through your velvet folds, so wet you're dripping onto your upper thighs as your head thumps against the wall.

"Joel," you let yourself whimper, eyes fluttering shut before opening again languidly. 

Joel's footsteps are gentle as he slowly strides up to you; he lasted, admittedly, longer than you through this torturous game. through the glass, you see his tall frame and your legs quiver with desire - your aching cunt throbs as you move your hand over yourself, rinsing off the rest of the suds from your clean body as your fingers tease your bundle of nerves. your hips jolt; a choked moan from you as you slide the glass open slightly, cocking your head - "it's a shame you already showered," you mutter, fingers not ceasing as Joel's eyes rake over your naked for ravenously. 

he leans on the doorframe to the bathroom, eyes stern as he takes in your silhouette through the fogged glass, slowly rolling over the curves of your body to meet your eyes with flames alit in his own. 

"-it'd be nice to have some help." you shrug, gesturing to the bar of soap in your spare hand, eyes swimming with desire as your other hand continues the slow, torturous movements on your aching clit.

your eyes catch on his crotch; through the jeans, his cock is hard and straining already as if being stirred by just the sight of you, naked and whimpering for him in your shower. 

"I know you've always liked a show, though, haven't you?" you tease, lifting a brow as you recall the night Joel'd first seen you shower.

his jaw ticks at your words but it's like something in his snaps; he wastes little time ripping his shirt off, his patience clearly gone as you bite your lip, stepping back for him as his jeans finally slide off. 

his glowing, naked form crowds into your own as he slides into the shower with you. his eyes are sharp as his hand takes the soap from you; yet instead of running it over your skin like you'd hoped he would, he's tossing it to the side until it hits the wall of the shower and splinters into two. 

you gasp slightly as his hand grips your neck, tugging you close. his cock is hard, tip glistening with beads of precum already as he presses to your lower stomach, his body glued to yours; his nose slides along the plane of your collarbone gently, the shower water pelting rolling off your meshed bodies like some sort of sick baptism. 

"you smell clean, darlin'," he mutters against your kin, one hand sliding up to your scalp, threading through your hair. his tongue peeks out to lick a stripe up your throat. "taste clean, too-" 

his hand tightens suddenly, tugging your hair until your head snaps up to him - his eyes are dark, face full of desire. "so why're you pretending you need my help?" 

the condescension in his voice is intoxicating - your legs weaken, hands sliding up onto his hot skin under the water that cascades over him. 

your throat dries as you swallow, eyes wide as a rush of arousal threatens to drip down onto your bare thighs.

his head tilts, "s'because you want to put on a show, 's that it?" he asks, voice condescendingly sweet as he once again tightens his grip. you whimper at the sweet feeling, nodding slightly.

he smiles against your neck before pulling away, "fine. you can give me a show. get on your knees." he hums, pressing a chaste kiss to your lips. your head feels dizzy at the words he says and the sweetness of his kiss; the most delicious juxtaposition.

"a show." he chuckles to himself, shaking his head darkly. "gonna make you a goddamn star."  

christ. your cunt squeezes around nothing, aching for him as his hands slide down to your shoulders. you nearly moan as he smirks, water cascading down his broad chest as he pushes you down; you sink to your knees, your wide eyes on his own as you move until you're close to his aching cock. 

he stands, towering above you as the shower head sprays directly onto his back; water runs off the broad expanse of his chest and you follow the droplets as they smooth over his stomach, down over the sprinkling of hair that trails to the base of his dick. you swallow, heart thundering impatiently as you sit on your haunches, waiting anxiously for him to tell you what to do. 

his brows raise, though, flush high on his cheeks from heat - or arousal - as he hums, "well?" 

you blink at him in surprise as he shakes his head down at you, his own hand falling to pump his long cock in languid strokes, the skin so close to you that you can almost feel the heat. if you were to lean out, just a bit, to taste- 

"christ, darlin' do I gotta tell you how to do everything?" he grunts, other hand cupping the back of your head, carding through your wet strands of hair as he tuts, "you were practically beggin' f'me earlier, now you're suddenly shy?" 

your face blooms in heat, "no, sir, I just-" at your words, his eyes fall back and a groan echoes through your bathroom, "-just suck my cock, darlin' c'mon." 

his impatience, desperation sends shivers down your spine and your mouth opens eagerly, tongue flattening as he slaps your tongue gently once, twice- 

you're always surprised by the size of Joel - each time, it catches you off guard; the head of his cock breaches your lips and his pre-cum smears over your tongue; the taste of him has you keening forward, eager to feel him in you, filling you up. 

"there you go, 's much better." he grunts, muttering as one hand slides around to hold your jaw. your eyes flutter up through your lashes and the falling shower water to stare at him, how big he is towering above you. his cock pushes into your warm mouth and you try your best to breathe through your nose, tongue sliding up the vein which reaches up towards his tip. his groan spurs you on and you gently start to bob your head, spit gathering at the sides of your mouth slowly as your knees press against the wet porcelain.

"you feel better like this, baby?" he mutters, your stomach tingling at his words. you can't nod - can't even make a noise as his hips slowly buck into you; you gag slightly and moan around his cock as it pushes to the back of your throat. 

"fuck-" he grunts, one hand leaning forward to place against the wet shower tiles; he's crowding you, now, pressing you into the back of the shower as his body takes the brunt of the water and takes and takes from you. 

anything Joel wants, he can fucking have it. 

"that's it, sweetheart-" he grunts, "fuckin'- take me." 

his hands grip yours, pulling them onto his thighs, muttering gently that if it's too much, you can slap his thigh; you nod, tears gathering at the corner of your eyes as you keen towards him again, hungry to feel him in your throat again. 

your nails dig crescents into the meat of his thighs as he pushes your head right against the wall, fucking into your throat as his head tilts back. "tha's- right, look at you." he grunts, his lips parted as groans fall from his lip. the steam rises like tendrils from hell as you take Joel's length in your mouth, barely able to breathe in the most delicious way as he uses you. your spit trails over your chin and onto your bare chest as you stare up at him. one hand soothes over your forehead, wiping wet strands of hair plastered to your forehead, "you're a fuckin' star, baby." 

you heat at his words, stomach swirling as you shift uncomfortably, cunt puffy and aching for relief. 

your fingers grip onto him as he takes you in the shower, fucking your throat until you're dripping and aching and a writhing mess, his moans echoing around the empty home. 

"water's cold." he grunts, pulling his cock from your lips; you, weakly, chase the heat of him as he leaves your mouth, gasping for air and coughing slightly. 

he shuts off the water, suddenly, and you swallow as he turns back to you, eyes significantly softer than they'd just been; "somethin' wrong?" he teases, a dark smirk on his face as his eyes flicker to where your thighs press together to soothe the ache. 

you grit your teeth, shaking your head, "jus' want you to touch me, sir." you mutter, face burning at the way Joel never ceases to reduce you to a whimpering mess. 

he smiles one of those brilliant, radiant smiles. 

"that's all you had to say, darlin'." he shrugs, "told you, if you just learn to ask for it nicely, I'll give it to you." 

you shiver as you nod, taking his hand as he pulls you up off your sore knees, wrapping a towel around your form gently. he's so- commanding, yet still somehow keeping his kindness that often hides deep beneath his layers. 

you can't tear your eyes away, though - even as Joel starts to walk towards your open bedroom - your hand stops him on his naked shoulder. "will you please fuck me?" you ask, voice stronger than you'd expected it to be.

his eyes flicker with something as he tilts his head, "right here?" he lifts a brow as his hand snaked over your neck to pull you flush against him once again. "y'gonna beg me to fuck you against the sink because you're too desperate for my cock to walk to the bed?" he whispers it into the shell of your ear; a shiver as you whine, eyes blinking up at him, "been waiting all day, Joel, stop fucking teasing me." 

you notice your mistake too late; his jaw tenses as he bites down at the junction of your neck - you let out a sharp, whining moan as his teeth mark a love bite bright and center on your skin. "fuck- fuck, s-sorry, sir." you groan, eyes clenching shut in pleasure as his hands push you into the counter. 

"bet you're fuckin' sorry." he mutters lowly as he pulls away from you, flipping you quick to bend you over the vanity of the sink. you gasp as the cool wet porcelain hits your breasts, your nipples hard and sensitive as a sharp smack lands on your ass. 

"christ," he groans as you bend over, puffy lips soaked and glistening for him, "look at this pretty pussy." 

you move your hips slightly and his hands grip onto your waist - "quit that." he snaps, hands resuming their exploring. he grazes over the backs of your thighs, up the expanse of your spine. 

over your ass, groping and slapping, relishing in your small moans and sharp gasps. "don't move." he orders.

you sigh, head falling onto the sink as you nearly whimper - you're aching, throbbing as Joel teases you - "Joel," you whimper quietly, voice whiny and small. 

"what's wrong, y'tired of being teased?" he asks, voice dripping with sadistic pleasure. your cheeks are hot as you groan, "please, need to feel you inside of me-" 

he hums, smacking the flesh of your ass, "'f I don't warm you up you'll be sore, baby-" he tuts, "y'know I gotta get you ready." 

"I don't care, I can take it- I like it, just-" you stutter, face heated as you nearly scream in frustration, unable to voice how badly you just want him inside of you. 

he likes that - a thumb sliding over your cunt to spread your lips, exposing your pussy and ass to him as he hums. "too fuckin' eager, have to have my cock right now, 's that right?" he shakes his head with a dark smirk, hand teasing over your swollen lips as he nods, "yeah, s'alright, I'll give it to you whenever you ask." 

"thank you," you wheeze, letting out a shaky sigh when Joel leans down, spitting directly onto your asshole, thumb sliding over the tight ring as he hums, "so desperate for me, couldn't even wait 'till we get back to town, could you? had to try an' fuck me right there in the woods." he doesn't wait for you to respond as he spits down again, this time the slick spit sliding down onto your seeping cunt. his hand leaves, replacing with the thick, teasing head of his cock.

you gasp, rising on your toes as the blunt tip of his dick spreads your cunt, teasing your clit before notching at your entrance. "gonna fill up every hole tonight, baby, y'gonna let me?" 

you let out a whine, "fuck, yes, please." you nod, cunt fluttering around the tip of his cock. 

the stretch is painful; you expected it, craved it - you let out an animalistic moan when he slides in a few inches. "oh-" you whimper, legs tensing as Joel kneads the flesh of your ass, pressing his bare chest to your spine as he mouths along the base of your neck, "relax, baby, so fuckin' tight-" he groans as he slides in slowly, "let me in, sweetheart, c'mon-" 

a rush of arousal and he's fully seated within you, the sting of his cock in you subsiding as a growing desire mounts until you can't take it. "move- m-move, now, please." you rush, hips pushing back against Joel's impatiently. 

"shit," Joel hisses as he pulls out of you slightly - a long, thick drag against your velvety cunt and you groan at the sweet bliss of being filled up. you moan as he thrusts forward, tip hitting the perfect spot that already, as his pace builds, has a simmering coil deep within you. 

"thought- thought about it all day," you admit, hands finding purchase on the counter as he starts to fuck into you, your tits sliding as they press against the sink. "on the horse, thought abo-" you moan sharply as his thumb grazes over your asshole, spreading the slick and his spit around the tight ring. "fuck, sir- that feels good." you moan. he groans in response and the words fly from your lips - "you drive me crazy, so big, t-touching me all the time. dream about you filling me up- s-stuffing me full, even out in the woods-" 

your words are too much for Joel, apparently, because his hand slaps over your mouth and his voice whispers, "sh-shut the fuck up, darlin', y'needa be quiet or I'm gonna finish before this even starts." he grunts, hips snapping into yours as he picks up the pace. 

you whimper at his words, arousal gushing from you and coating his cock in your slick; the wet slapping of your bodies echoing through the bathroom. "fuck-" he drags out the word, fingers sliding over your lips to prod at your mouth, "here- suck, darlin' - there you go, good girl, that's right." 

your tongue slides over his fingers, eyes fluttering closed as you feel his thumb breach your tight hole; a sudden rush of pleasure runs through you as it hits you - Joel's everywhere. he's filling you completely - his thumb slowly fucks your tight ring of muscle as his cock spears your cunt; his fingers, pressing down on your tongue as you whimper and moan around him. 

a groan leaves his full lips; "fuck- look at me." he grunts, hand sliding up your throat to pull your jaw towards your reflection. "look at me, baby-" his fingers slide back into your mouth as your eyes meet the fire in his through the mirror. 

"always tell me when you feel like this, 'kay?" he asks, brows stern as he rams his hips into you; his thumb fills you and fucks into you at a slower speed than his cock, sending searing pleasure through your entire body.

your flesh moves at the impact of his hips and you cry out as his cock hits the delicious spot inside you that curls your toes. his thumb slips from your ass and you whimper dejectedly; the full feeling subsiding slightly as his hand grips your tits, pinching your nipple as he hums in your ear.  "don't want my pretty little slut feeling so needy all the time, right?" he mutters, nosing at your hair as he fucks into you with no abandon. your fingers clench to the sides of the sink as you let out a strangled, "yes, sir-" 

"so if you use your words, I'll give you anything you want." he groans, hand smacking your ass as the other squeezes your jaw. you nod, agreeing with his words though his cock has rendered you nearly speechless. he hums in approval before muttering, "now you're goign to play with your clit until you cum." 

you let your eyes roll back at the commanding tone as your hand snakes down to rub tight, blisteringly pleasurable circles over your bundle of nerves.

but it's immediately too much so soon; you're already so close to your orgasm that a jagged gasp falls from your lips, jumping at the feeling.

"no, 's too much," you moan, head falling back as your finger teases your clit, flames of pleasure licking up isnide you.

but Joel smirks, "why're you still doin' it, then?" he teases, cock hitting so deep and bruising that you think you may see stars. 

you moan out, "w-wanna cum, wanna make you happy, Joel." you whimper, completely forgetting to call him sir; but you feel his brows furrow as a moan ripples from his lips - "y'makin' me real happy right now, darlin', look at you. fucked out on this old man's cock, doin' whatever I say, desperate and willing. you're perfect, aren't you?" 

you shiver in pleasure at his praise, fingers shaking as you rub your clit, trying so hard not to ruin your orgasm by cumming too soon. his cock spears into you at a pace that will certainly bruise your hips; your breath is punched out of you, your gasps and moans painting the air.

"say it, baby." he orders, hand stroking your breast a staunch contradiction to his brutal pace. "tell me how perfect you are for me." 

you wail, head falling back onto his broad, thick shoulder as he runs his mouth over your shoulder, nipping as he goes. you're out of breath - "p-perfect, I'm perfect for you Joel, fuck, don't stop. so good, so good-" you mumble, fucked out after only a few minutes. 

he hums, nodding into you. "taught you well, didn't I? you're my perfect little star." 

you nod, "yes, sir, thank you-" you squeal in pleasure as he strokes long and slow, pushing you nearly to the brink as your legs shake. you can't take it, though - your fingers stop their ministrations, shaking and burning as you pull away from your clit, so close from just his cock and-

a slap to your cheek as Joel's lips bite into your jaw, "put your fuckin' hand back right now. you don't stop 'till I tell you to." 

you swallow shakily, shaking your head, "I can't- it's too much, I can't-" 

"fine." he snaps, slapping your cheek again before one hand slips to grip hard at your shoulder, lifting one of your legs up onto the sink; his other hand snakes down to pinch your tortured clit and you scream as he grunts in your ear, "I'll do it myself."

he's unforgiving on your quivering cunt, barely able to stay upright as he pushes you down, your cheeks pressing to the cool counter as he pounds down into you, shooting you into a hurtling race towards your orgasm. 

he brutally fucks into you in a blinding pace. you nearly scream as white-hot pleasure rips through you, your hands falling to the counter as he coaxes a mind-bending orgasm from you. you see white as you cum, pulsing and writhing over his cock as it spears into you, splitting you open. 

"that's it, baby-" he lets out a loud moan, biting into your neck as he continues the brutal pace, "jesus- s'fucking tight, baby, can barely move-" his hands fall to your hips, using you as a fuck toy to finish himself off; you're still writhing with the ecstasy of the orgasm, relishing in the way his hands hold you. 

"where're you gonna take me, baby?" he grunts, voice strained: he's so close. 

you scramble, holding his hips as you nearly pass out - pleasure too much. "cum on my ass, please sir." you mutter, heat licking up your throat as the words come out. 

he moans and pulls out of you suddenly, hand flying from your skin to his cock, a slick noise as he quickly tugs himself until hot spurts of his cum paint the skin of your ass. "pretty girl," he grunts to himself, "an' you're all mine." 

you hum, moaning quietly as his thumb soothes over your skin, spreading his cum over your ass and pressing it slightly against your ass. your cunt flutters in arousal at the action and he hums, "y'like that, don't you, pretty girl?" 

you nod as you let out a shaky sigh and he presses a kiss to your spine, "good." it's a whisper on your skin, a promise. 

he's barely grabbed a towel to wipe his cum off your skin before you're turned around on jelly legs - his strong arms pull you in so fast you barely have a second to straighten out - he's nuzzling into your wet hair in a way that has your heart thumping and your throat dry.

his heart beats against your cheek, body warm, chest heaving along with yours.  

heat, affection - they swirl in your chest as his bare body cradles yours. intimately. 

your sweet skin is sticky with sweat when Joel comes to, out of the bliss of his and your orgasms. 

he's just as sweaty as you, though the clean skin and foggy mirror have started to clear up. Joel nearly huffs a short laugh at the thought of taking yet another shower - christ knows the two of you are once again filthy - but he kind of likes it, in a way. a secret. 

he brushes it off when he feels your fingers curl around his arm; he had barely noticed that he'd tugged you upright and right into his chest, holding you as tight as he could. for some reason, his mind reaches back to earlier in the evening, when he'd heard that branch - the fear, the panic that'd risen in him. he's not sure why, or at least, he won't think about it. you hadn't mentioned it, but he'd seen your hands shake and your eyes cloud with fear.

something for another time, because he has you warm and pliant and naked in his arms. he barely noticed how his lips press at your hairline; it's just... well, feels natural.

like you both need it. 

"stay here, please." you ask meekly, quietly. the first words spoken in a minute; you're swallowing around the nerves and anxiety that crawl in your chest, he can tell. he feels them, too. 

he's taken aback as he stares at you - you both have patrol again in the morning, is it not... aren't you going to get tired of him?

won't you find him annoying, or gross in the morning when he inevitably pulls you closer in his sleep, when the dreams are too real and he shoots up in bed?

the panic subsides as he stares into your warm eyes, hopeful, bashful. he smiles gently, biting through the smile in embarrassment at how willing he is to stay. he'd stay forever if you asked.

Joel nods through his surprise, though, his body and heart and head aching to lie with you once again, to feel the calmest sleep he's had in years. 

"course, darlin', I'll..." he pulls you in closer, so he doesn't have to look at those damn eyes when he finally admits it -

"I'll stay as long as you want." 

feedback welcome as always :') <3

[17020]

DOLLHOUSE

Don't look behind the curtains, because you might not like what you see about Yn Ln, and Hajime Umemiya. tags: angst! ume is a complete ass (im sorry zevie and to everyone), very self indulgent, i need emotional compensation as do yall, toxic relationship sorta. it's definitely a blurb! not proofread my eyes are puffy.

Hajiime Umemiya is the perfect boyfriend. Kind, attentive, patient, with compliments slipping past his lips every few seconds. Strong, affectionate and intelligent is what he is, constantly worrying about you and being your personal hype man. To the public eye, Hajime Umemiya was perfect.

Not you, though.

A witch. A master manipulator who always managed to carefully pull the strings of the puppet that was Hajime Umemiya. What was once a perfect couple slowly rotted in foreign eyes, the image of you and Umemiya leaving a bitter taste in the townspeople's mouths.

What they saw was Umemiya's suffering. Arguments, which led to him spilling his heart out to his friends, who told their friends, who told every citizen of Makochi. Complaints, which made Umemiya feel trapped in a maze with no exit.

There's two sides to every coin.

Arguments, which were caused by Umemiya's denseness. Because he paid no mind to what you liked or what you preferred, and had stuck to what he thought you liked instead of learning. Complaints, because after five fights, Umemiya had finally understood that no, you don't like gold jewelry, and you're dripped in silver every day. According to him, he knew you wore silver, but he wanted you to wear gold because he liked gold.

Complaints, because his friends knew no boundaries, constantly molesting and groping him in your presence. Couldn't they at least wait until you were gone?

Arguments, because Hajime Umemiya didn't trust you, accusing you of falling for his best friends, treating you as a liar, a deceiver, a cheater. Even after reassurance, his threats to break up were present. Umemiya's insecurities were a fair match to yours...

But there was one half who did something about it, and another who had your fears in one ear, then out the other.

The straw that broke the camel's back was when Umemiya's priorities changed in university.

Because Umemiya thought for himself, and went back to his ways of being a self-preserving, desperate puppy, clinging onto anyone be it good or bad, for attention. What's it to you?

He went to the people who hurt you. Hypocrisy was certainly at it's finest, because Umemiya was now adopted into a clique which had shit talked him and your relationship, offering him fake smiles after spilling all of his and your secrets in a club on a random Thursday.

You were spiraling.

Not only was his clique two-faced, but they had hurt you in the past, having been part of the group years prior and being nothing but ignored and criticized. A bullet to the head would have hurt more than to see Umemiya's texts saying he belonged there, belonged with cheaters, shit talkers, and assholes.

Hajime Umemiya is too naive for his own good.

Fights had become more common as he expressed his liking for the group with each passing day, as you warned him about his 'friends'. His response? Laugh it off, as they were nice and welcoming. Plus...

"They haven't done anything bad to me, so why should I care? I like being there, I don't like being alone, and they're cool!"

Your heart shattered. Especially after checking your socials and seeing the girls you despised posting your boyfriend as if he were Mattel's newest and hottest Ken; the center of attention for all Makochi to see.

You were done.

Pleads were not enough. Crying to him was never an option, as he simply brushed off your feelings, as his smile grew wider at the thought of the upcoming party he and his new friends were to attend that same night.

Hajime Umemiya was also done.

A final complaint. A final warning. A final plead. Your words were in vain, with your boyfriend shoving each and every one of your words up his ass. He didn't care, not one bit, and it showed.

Because self-preservation was most important to him. Better to be alone than in bad company right? Hell no. To Umemiya, that was absolute bullshit.

"They didn't do anything bad to me, baby, so I'm hanging out with them and consider them best buds. I don't wanna be alone and the girls are so nice to me, so don't worry about it."

Don't worry about it? It took a day for him to make up his mind.

"The girls are my friends, and I'm sorry they did you dirty and talked badly about our relationship, but I'm lonely. Yn Ln, you have been the greatest gift life has given me and I'll love you forever. We're done."

taglist (open, yippee!): @stunie @kaiser1ns @nyxypoo