#I don’t feel like someone in a healthy relationship that’s going to last would relate so much to that song and yet

[sparklesmusicnotesandpawprints]

.

[vivmaek]

ASTROLOGY OBSERVATIONS PART EIGHT (positive vibes only <3)

This was originally going to be another roast. But tbh, my heart has been feeling heavy the past few months. I'm sure some of you can relate, especially with all the events currently occurring in our world. So, I decided to focus on what I love most about certain placements in an effort to spread a little positivity.

✿ Aries Moons stand up and fight for the people they care about. They won’t let their friends be belittled within their presence, they have your back. They’re the first to speak out on injustice and will take action to make things right. 

❀ People who have Gemini in the 8th house ask questions that matter. They invoke deep thoughts within other people and are unafraid to explore topics that are uncomfortable or taboo. 

✿ Those who have a Moon Sextile Venus aspect know how to make others feel loved. They pay attention to their loved ones, and give each and every one of them the special attention that they deserve. These people are relationship builders. 

❀ Libra Venus, how does it feel to be god's favorite? These types invoke good feelings in other people. They’re so sweet and have hearts of gold. Good friends and romantic companionships are easy for them to find because their affection comes from a place of authenticity. 

✿ People with Saturn in the 7th house wait for what's right for them. They take their commitments seriously and don’t play around with people's feelings. They respect their romantic partners. Their firm boundaries lead to successful relationships. 

❀ Walking earth angels have a Sun trine Neptune aspect. They have a divine presence and they don’t get tied up within their own ego. People look to them for spiritual guidance. They uplift the souls of others. 

✿ Aquarius Mercurys aren’t afraid to evoke controversy. Sometimes this is needed in the world. If there's an elephant in the room, they’ll point out the obvious. They formulate their own unique thoughts, and are not easily influenced. 

❀ People who have their Moon placed within the 4th house know how to make a home. As someone who was raised by a person with this placement, I truly reaped the benefits of this. They keep family traditions alive, or even start new ones. They understand the importance of family and act as the glue that holds everything together. 

✿ Those who have a Uranus trine Ascendant aspect make life more interesting. Without them, the world would be a boring place. There is no one like them, and they cannot be replaced. Their quirky nature is endearing. They are such a breath of fresh air. 

❀ Taurus Mercurys are so level headed that it has a calming effect upon the people who surround them. They take things slow and are not quick to jump to conclusions. Within group projects or endeavors, they are at the heart of it. People can depend on them. 

✿ People who have Uranus in the 10th house prove to others that you can lead an unconventional life and still find success. They don’t follow the rules, and don’t rely on tradition for stability. They inspire others through their free spirit. 

❀ When someone has a Venus sextile Saturn aspect within their birth chart, they make relationships that last a lifetime. These people are loyal friends and they know how to maintain the longevity of a relationship. They show up for people when needed and they never make a promise that they can’t keep. 

✿ People with a Gemini Venus teach other people how to have fun within relationships. They love innocently and there are no strings attached. They make their friends and loved ones feel like a kid again when in their presence. Their lighthearted approach to love is comedic, they live life as if it were a rom-com. 

❀ Cancer 1st housers are quiet leaders. They approach life with a healthy level of confidence. As a leader, they still treat their subordinates with the respect they deserve. They don’t forget about the little people, and are attentive to people who are struggling. 

✿ A Saturn trine Neptune aspect allows the native to grow significantly when faced with opposition and challenge. They understand the importance of spiritual lessons, and go out of their way to right their wrongs. They don’t lose sight of what they’re working towards, and won’t lose their sense of morality once they achieve success. 

❀ Libra Moons remind people how important it is to incorporate pleasure into life. Working hard means nothing if you don’t stop and appreciate the benefits you’ve gained. Having an appreciation for the little things doesn't mean they’re materialistic. 

✿ Uranus 7th houses maintain independence within relationships and don’t lose sight of who they are. They are not going to change who they are just so a relationship can function. They march to the beat of their own drum, you can dance to the music or move along. 

❀ People with a Mercury trine Ascendant aspect bring humor into this world. Of course, they’re incredibly smart and their academic skills are impressive. However, they still don’t take themselves too seriously and are full of witty remarks. They share the best memes and are always in the know. 

[rengokuology]

I would love to see a lexi x fem reader from euphoria, maybe reader is like nates younger sister but she is the sweetest and kindest person, so lexi and reader both have a crush on each other and so maybe cassie and maddie try to get them to admit their feelings and somehow they do, so it's pure fluff with lexi and reader sharing a kiss at the end, something like that, and then them being in a romantic relationship

PLAY PRODUCTIONS. . .

LEXI HOWARD x NATE’S SISTER! READER

WARNINGS !! nate jacobs, lots of sweet—tooth fluff! so yeah—

DEAR REQUESTER, thank you so much for being my first ever requester! this is my first time writing x reader so i hope you like it! if you don’t like it, you can send back in another request and i can write another one for you! enjoy your time reading!! <3 /p

it's funny, you know? how such an asshole like nate jacobs can be related to such a sweet angel like (reader) jacobs.

i mean, that's what mostly anybody sane thought. people like lexi, rue and more.

but there were also douchebags who would try and say she was like him. but she was never.

nate jacobs never helped his friends to classes. never tried to be as respectful as possible. nope, that was all her.

that's what lexi thought every time she saw her with nate, and it would be common that she held an intense glare at him for being such an ass.

but that would go away when she always approached lexi, always being happy to see her friend / crush by their lockers that were across from cassie and maddy's.

you two had such a beautiful chemistry that maddy and nate were never going to have and so, maddy and cassie noticed.

"oh my god, they're fucking whipped for each other." maddy claimed, looking at the two of them that were laughing while they shared each other memes they found the night before.

"yeah, they are." cassie smiled at them, slightly jealous that she didn't have a relationship like that. but she was proud of her sister for having something she didn't. a healthy crush.

maddy turned to cassie, closing her locker as she pointed at the two.

"if we don't get them together, somebody's gonna steal one of them. and they probably need to be together." cassie lifted a brow at maddy, glancing at the two before turning back to maddy.

"i don't know. they can get together by themselves, plus, we shouldn't intrude on their love lives." cassie told maddy, as maddy crossed her arms, lightly laughing sarcastically.

"well, last night, i saw little angel with one of nate's friends at their house. we don't want that because that dude is lowkey a dick and doesn't deserve someone like (reader). plus, we wouldn’t be really do much, just give them a little push." maddy told cassie, grabbing out her phone and showing the guy she's been seeing.

cassie looked at the photo before looking back at the two then back at maddy.

"ok, let's do it."

lexi and (reader) sat at their desks in history class as (reader) lightly scrolled through her phone in secret while glancing at the teacher.

hey

(reader) smiled, looking across the room to lexi's chair as lexi smiled at her phone, glancing at their teacher as well.

hi!

we still hanging out at my place tonight?

sorry, i can't tonight. aaron just told me my parents got into a fight so i gotta help my mom

sorry about that

its fine, it happens

still tho, ur parents are kinda dicks

yeah, kinda but their still my parents, so yeah

(reader) frowned at her phone, thinking of what words to type next.

sorry i can't spend the night at your place again

its ok! your busy, i get it

still sucks tho-

yeah

(reader) put her phone away, slipping it into their hoodie pocket as lexi shut off her phone as well, kind of frowning as cassie looked at the two, finally finding something cassie and maddy could do to get them together.

next class, maddy and (reader) sat next to each other in science class, (reader) zoning out through half of it, bored.

(reader) felt a buzz in her pocket, taking it out slowly to see a text from maddy.

hey

(reader) glanced at maddy confused, as the two didn't really interact and would only contact each other if there was an emergency.

hi, u ok?

yeah, u going to lexi's tonight

nah and how do u know about that

cassie but who cares about that rn, why aren't u going

my parents got into a fight, gonna take care of my mom and make sure she doesn’t get wine drunk

who cares?

i do. it’s my mom, i need to take care of her

but do u want to?

. . .

how about u come over to their home and relax a bit, cassie says she misses you and plus, i’m gonna there, i’ll make up an excuse for u

she does?

yep

i guess i’ll go then

cool, see u later then

yep

(reader) smiled lightly, closing maddy’s contact and opening lexi’s

i’m actually coming over tonight

cool! see u

yep!

lexi’s mood lifted, putting her phone away as she was happy that she got to spend time with her and finally!

the two weren’t able to spend time after school because of her parents getting into fights constantly for the past month, which sucked because that was the time where they were able to spend most of their time together.

but because maddy persuaded her, she was finally able to go now that she had an excuse. which made the two lovebirds happy.

so. . . maddy wasn’t there, same with cassie. they both lied.

but the two teenagers could care less as (reader) sat at the edge of lexi’s bed in silence, playing truth or dare.

“truth or dare.” “truth.”

“is it true that jules and rue are dating?” (reader) questioned lexi, resting her head on top of her knees, rocking back and forth, bored as a movie played in the background.

“i. . . actually don’t know.” “yeah? hm.”

“they definitely have some type of. . . tension though.” (reader) said, throwing her head back to the bed post as lexi nodded, agreeing with her as she typed on her computer.

“what are you writing anyway? just asking.” (reader) asked, picking at her painted finger nails.

“i’m trying to write a play.” “ooooo! what’s it about?” (reader) questioned, her interest being picked up as she raised her head.

“about our lives, my life, just what happens in this high school.” lexi explained, smiling at (reader)‘s sudden interested and smile.

“can i take a look? just for a second?” lexi nodded at her as she scooted herself closer to lexi, looking at her computer as lexi lightly scrolled through the plot she had.

the plot described the people, ranging from jade, hallie, marta, luna and angela. the plot focused one part on angela, the main character telling the audience that she liked angela, having a deep crush on her despite not confessing to not ruin the friendship she loved.

considering the play was about the lives in their high school, she assumed the main character was lexi as (reader) let out a ‘oooo’ in interest.

“who’s the lucky girl then?” (reader) turned to lexi, interested. lexi looked at her, hesitation rising in her as (reader) waited for a response.

“um. . . it’s you, (reader).” lexi confessed, staring at her with a slight blush on her cheeks while (reader) was frozen in place. not because she was mad but because she was shocked that her crush liked her back too.

“w—wait, really?” (reader) questioned, trying to make sure that she heard lexi correctly.

“yeah, i’ve liked you for a while now.” (reader) suddenly let a smile come onto her face, smiling the hardest to the point her cheeks hurt from the pressure.

“can i kiss you?. . . if your ok with it?” (reader) asked lexi as she nodded, moving closer to lexi, kissing her lightly on the lips.

the two separated from the kiss, lexi still having that blush on her cheeks as (reader) smiled at her, now holding her hand.

“this might be a dumb question because we probably are but can i be your girlfriend? if your comfortable with it, i don’t wanna—“

“i’d love that.” lexi interrupted her question as she smiled, clapping her fingers a little, happy.

“thank you.” (reader) thanked as lexi nodded, holding her hand still.

“can i help you with your play?” (reader) asked lexi as she nodded again, (reader) now laying on lexi’s side as she typed on her computer.

and for the rest of the night, they spent their time writing the play during their first night as girlfriends.

————

AUTHORS NOTE, sorry if this kinda sucked! i’m still getting used to writing x reader since i mainly write x oc on wattpad a lot so yeah, sorry if this wasn’t good, i hope you enjoyed tho and have a good day!

[wordsarelife]

I love your fics!! Could you do a Lockwood x reader fanfic for illicit affairs? Like the reader could be related to someone high up in DEPRAC or Fittes and Lockwood doesn’t want people to know they’re tgt bc he’d be accused of trying to get favours or smthin but reader rlly wants ppl to know n is getting fed up with hiding. A healthy dose of angst would be 10/10 <3

ILLICIT AFFAIRS

pairing: Anthony Lockwood x reader

warnings: mentions of sexual themes

summary: you want to make your relationship public, anthony doesn’t. you don’t think you can accept that any longer, but at least for tonight you can

note: i loved this ask!! illicit affairs is one of my favorite songs of ms taylor!! i’ve decided to split it into two parts, just because it feels better for me. part two will be out tomorrow!!

part 2: tomorrow

"why does it matter anyway?" Anthony asked and you could hear the desperation in his voice

"it matters to me, Anthony" you answered calmly, tired of all the fighting you both had done in the past week. it wasn't like you always fought, this wasn't a usual state for your over two year relationship.

you were used to a loving, considerate boy and you knew that he would do anything for you. just not that one thing and that's why it wasn't enough for you.

you continued to fight while you walked around the room, collecting your items of clothing.

"y/n, please" Anthony sat down on his bed "we've been over this, I explained it to you more than a million times"

"I know" you replied tiredly

"let's just not fight anymore" he stood up and brought you close to his body

"okay" you muttered and you hated yourself for always giving in. you just loved him too much to maintain you restrain.

you put on your jacket and walked to the door

"make sure nobody sees you leave" it almost pained him to say what he always said

"no one will see me" it pained you to reply what you always replied

***

you were sitting at the large table in the entrance hall of the house you lived in. you nearly jumped to your feet when you noticed Anthony and his friends walking into the room.

they were led into the hall by your father, the son of Marissa Fittes. that was merely Anthonys problem about your relationship, he didn't want anyone to think he was just dating you for favours, you had told him a million times that that was rubbish and he argued a million times that it would matter. you could never agree on the matter.

you noticed Penelope walk in behind the agency and you felt it was rude to just sit and watch, so you stood up, flowing the material of your dress, as you joined your sisters side.

"I'm sure you've already heard of them, but these are my daughters" your father introduced you both "Penelope and y/n"

you expressed your greeting, Anthony's eyes staying a bit too long on your face. your father cleared his throat and you lost the boy's attention.

“Lockwood and co are our special guests for the ball tonight, that’s the least we could offer, after the job they did for us last year”

there had been a rather big problem in one of the houses your family owned. the haunting had be caused by a scandal, a forbidden relationship that escalated in the walls of the house and led to one of the affair partners dying at the hands of the other. your family had been able to suppress all the runout and stop any information on going out, but they had to get rid of the problem nonetheless.

that had been when your father had found the little three people agency. they had promised to get rid of your problem as quietly as possible. nothing ever got out.

that’s actually how you had met Anthony. because unbeknownst to your father, and not allowed you often spend time in the garden of the haunted mansion. that’s were you had first met Anthony, you remembered it like it had been yesterday

***

you were sitting in the garden, picking flowers. the golden august sun was displaying on your features and warming your skin. your dress was flowing a bit from the wind and your hair would now and then flutter in front of your face

"oh hello" a voice suddenly said, noticing you between the high grown grass

it was a boy, he was about your age and despite the summer heat, he was wearing a suit and a long black coat on top of it

"hi" you smiled, laying your head to the side and further inspecting him. his hair was short, and his skin was light, which made the dark circles under his eyes even more prominent.

“eh— i’m Lockwood, Anthony Lockwood” his hand jolted forward and you shook it while you grinned at him

“n/n” you said “just n/n”

ever since then he had found you intriguing, how you would sit in high grown grass in front of a haunted mansion, peacefully picking flowers. that’s why he loved you, you mostly did the things you did out of pure joy for them.

after your first meeting it seemed that Anthony Lockwood would just not leave your mind. you had found out later that it had been similar to him, always thinking about you in that dress, sitting in a field of flowers.

so you started to meet every few weeks, casually talking on your run to arif’s, or meeting each other on the street. coincidental meetings turned into dates and you spend more and more time with each other.

but as much as you wanted to tell the whole world, Anthony wanted to keep it a secret. even to Lucy and George, you weren’t more than friends to them.

***

“can i come in?” you asked after you had knocked on the door softly. there were some muffled words you couldn’t quite make out, but it sounded like a yes, so you slowly opened the wooden door.

“n/n” Anthony smiled, ushering you into the room he would spent the night in, and closing the door behind you “what are you doing?”

“i wanted to see you” you spoke softly, gripping his tie with both your hands. his hands wandered to your waist almost naturally “and i wanted to ask you if you’d like to accompany to the ball later… maybe we could slip away later”

“it’s a bit risky, don’t you think?”

“isn’t that what makes it fun in the first place?” you brought him down by his tie, his lips meeting yours. you deepened the kiss, walking you backwards and enjoying the control you had over him

Anthony laid on the bed, while you sat on top of him, straddling his waist. “we shouldn’t do this, y/n”

you raised your brows, slipping off your dress, leaving you only in your underwear

“okay, maybe we can be quick”

you giggled and rushed forward, crashing your lips onto his.

maybe you would always give in when he was telling you to, but at least you had the same hold over him, neither one could resist the other and that was part of the dangerous game you were playing.

and you didn’t know it yet, but you were about to lose.

[writingforatwistedworld]

Hey hey! I've read your rules like 3 times and I think this is okay, but I'm really sorry if I missed something! Self aware Leona, Azul, and Jamil with being the favorite specifically because the reader can relate to their trauma in a way?

Eg, having a golden child sibling (Leona), having been bullied (Azul), or essentially being parentified (Jamil)

I don't think this counts under the trauma dumping rule, but again, I'm sorry if it does, or even if it's on thin ice!

It’s (at least in my eyes) not exactly trauma dumping but you are right with it being on thin ice. Some authors are a bit more sensitive than others after all. Also, I have no siblings so.. uh… I tried my best with Leona.

Self-aware au

I do not take any responsibility for you reading this no matter which age group you are from

WARNINGS: Yandere themes, imprisonment, murder, unhealthy relationship, family problems, obsession, stalking, manipulation

Leona Kingscholar/Azul Ashengrotto/Jamil Viper-Player is able to relate to their problems

Oh so you also have a sibling? Never heard of the higher power of this world ever having one

With Sunset Savanna being more relaxed but still very respectfull when it comes to you he isn’t going mad over new things he learns about you (just sometimes having that happy, bubbly feeling in his chest… gross… tell him more!)

But then his Overblot happened and… yeah… you two had a talk

Would you look at that? Even otherworldly beings can have that totally healthy and absolutely not toxic comparison to their supposedly better part of their family

Leona also already stalking… uh pardon. I meant sleeping everywhere you are doesn’t help either

But now your presence is even more like warm sunlight on his skin for him

So let’s set the scene, you are walking through the garden of the school and suddenly somone pulls you into the shade of the tree just to lay their head on your lap and sleep once more

And I am not talking about a ten minutes lap… I’m talking about a four hour thingy

But hey, the air is warm, the dorm leader who declared you his pillow hair is soft like a slinghtly heavy, warm blanket and you can’t remember when you had the last time more than a few hours rest

And boom! You wake up in his room

Oh no no no. This isn’t some sort of yandere fan fic… ha…haha… but the door is unlocked and nothing else but Leona clutching onto your side in his sleep is holding you back

What did you expect? A cage in his room with you in it? Do you even know how hard it is to take care of someone imprisoned whilst having to hide that you are the person who kidnapped them?

But that doesn't mean he won’t use other means to mentally chain you to him

Always using his brother to gain your sympathy, saying that you don’t care about him…

Before you know it you are once more his pillow, combing through his hair with your fingers

But wait, isn’t he smiling? Nah, he was just disappointed a second ago…

Prepare for the tears

No joke, this poor octopus will break down the second he hears you have been bullied like he was

Azul is already… special when it comes to you and even hearing that someone called you once a not-so-nice name will make him break down

And later on burn with passion to make a deal that is totally not shady and not life-ruining with them

Please tell him that it’s alright

That was all in the past and you are now ready to move on and just live life the good way

Also, can you hug him? For him? For me?

What can I say, after you defeated his overblot form and had that talk he started to treat you like you were made out of glass

Not like it was much better before but… I don’t know… he just does the coodeling on a whole other level

Before this Flozd liked to squeeze you and Jade to be a well-meaning meneace in your life

Over those bone crushing and mind grinding times, you are going to be well protected until you feel like you are an antique in a Museum

And if someone dares to do something to you (or rather, what Azul understands under that) then whoopsy! They are suddenly gone

No need to visit the beach any time soon. That sea foam looks suspicious…

But believe me when I tell you that you will eat the best food you ever tasted in your life, for free!

You are more to Azul than just an allknowing scholar. You are someone who understands him and he will be damned if he lets anyone treat you less than with utmost care ever again!

Cue to Medusa popping up and getting defeated

But imagine the shock on Jamil's usual calculating face when he saw you laying a cold towel on his head just when he woke up

Why was the Overseer teding to him? A mere servant who even betrayed his own master??!

He gets even more confused when you insist on helping him after Kalim is up to his usual doings

To be honest, he is thankful

He was a bit shaky on those legs after using so much magic and you helping him is something he appreciates

But this raises the question, why do you seem so experienced in taking care of someone and helping them as well?

Oh no, Jamil won’t be so tactless to just ask but he will watch you… right after he took care of the silk Kalim ordered

Jamil has admired you his entire life. An otherworldly being who even made the Sorcerer of Sands look up into the sky and search for your wisdom among the stars… how fascinating!

And what power you must posess! You were even able to enter his world-Jamil Viper, a student that doesn’t know you woke up without knowing how you got here one fateful day

After he gets better he is dead set on repaying you (no, he did not think about joining Octavinelle)

It’s just… you were so warm… and so kind… and so worryingly good at taking care of another person…

Wait… did he just become your own personal Kalim??!

This is also what made him finally questioning you about this and… safe to say his carefully crafted mask slipped from his face and smashed on the floor

Someone dared to make the Overseer take care of them??!

The aftermath to that is him becoming your personal servant. Kalim can get poisoned for all he cares. Now you are the important one here… in that room with the many locks.

[phyrestartr]

Hi there! I am unsure if you have requests open or not, but if you do, could I request a Miguel x F!Reader where reader wants to tell Miguel that she identifies as non-binary, but struggles to do so out of fear of Miguel breaking up with her.

There is one scene I have in mind for this in particular is that while having sex, Miguel tells the reader that he loves her, and the Reader has to hold in her/their tears because she/they truly believes he won't anymore when he finds out.

If this request is uncomfortable, please feel free to ignore!

Simply You | Miguel O'hara x F/NB!Reader

Miguel x F/NB!Reader W/C: 2.5k

#NSFW, hurt/comfort, fluff, fem-presenting reader, pre-established relationship, miguel is Spiderman, set before ATSV, adults talking like adults, healthy relationship ayo

Note: Tysm for this request! As a NB girlie, I really relate to this sort of struggle with coming out/explaining my identity to people close to me, so, in a weird way, I really enjoyed writing the reader fumbling with the explanation lol?? Idk but this was kinda sweet and therapeutic to write! I hope you enjoy :')

--

Miguel loved you. You loved him. It was simple. 

Only, it wasn’t. Not for you.

Shame ate at you every time you felt his embrace, every time he filled you with a searing heat only he could control in your tumultuous, all-feeling heart. That self-condemnation didn’t come because of who you were, no, but because of what you couldn’t tell him, what you were too afraid to tell him. 

But you could cope, you always had. Did it really even matter, anyway? Did you need to bring that out into the world, to declare you were someone more nuanced than the snarky, kind woman he fell for? Was it worth it to walk and breathe, to sing and smile, to love and dance in the truth of your ipseity if it meant losing your one and only, your partner for life?

You didn’t know. You didn’t know if love would welcome the truth. 

You didn’t think the ceiling would hold the answers either, as much as you stared up at it that morning, hoping for an epiphany. The heels of your palms dug into your eyes while you sighed a shaky, weak sigh, and found the strength to roll out of bed. Or, well, at least sit up. 

“Heeey,” Lyla chirped as she flickered into being beside you. “Everything cool, buddy?” 

You tried a smile and nodded. “Yeah. Everything’s cool. I’m cool. It’s just one of those days, I guess.” 

“Yeah, I get that. It happens, so don’t sweat it, alright?” The digital Tinkerbelle gave you a reassuring, glitchy smile as she made a show of patting your arm. “Is it ‘cause of last night?” 

You grimaced, and Lyla nodded judiciously. 

God, you didn’t want to remember that. Bursting into tears just because he said he loved you was just–it wasn’t exactly how you wanted it to go. 

You’d been here so many times, his chest pressed to your plush breasts, his words whispering softly into your ear in a tone both sinful and endearing, but it always felt like the first, somehow. 

Each easy push into your heat pulled a dreamy sigh from between your soft lips time and time again. Each drag of your nails against his back, every fistful of hair tugged gave you the lightest of moans, the softest sweetness you’d never imagined you’d find in a man like Miguel O’hara. But you did. And you cherished it. You cherished him. 

“That good?” He mumbled against your neck as his pace quickened subtly with the grip holding onto your waist. Your thighs cozied up against his sides harder as your partner dove deeper and deeper to your centre, rubbing up just right against your velvety walls. 

“Always,” you mumbled back. And he smiled against your skin, a small laugh joining the gesture. You smiled, too, and gasped when he snapped his hips against yours harder, faster, delivering you pulse after pulse of hot pleasure without breaking a sweat.

He kissed your throat before finding your mouth again, and murmuring against your lips, “even better?” 

You convinced your eyes open to catch a glimpse of his snarky, punchable smile. You rolled your eyes and raked your nails against the nape of his neck to feel him shudder and stutter from the pleasant tingles crashing down on him. Sure, you had your weak spot, but he had his, too. 

“You’re a brat.” But you kissed him anyway, that grown-up brat you were so smitten with. 

“You love it,” he said as he nipped your bottom lip. “Almost as much as you love me, I bet.” 

“Oh, is this gonna be a trend? You flirting with yourself on my behalf?” You chuckled and looped both arms around his neck while you kissed him again, and again, and again. “But, yeah. I love you, whether you’re being a little shit or a tough guy.” 

Bright fondness turned crimson eyes into glittering rubies. It fuelled your ego, knowing your praise and love could get your man so excited and full of himself. You didn’t mind it–you encouraged it, actually. He deserved all the recognition and worship humanity could offer. 

“And I love you,” he offered back.

You shifted, eyes widening a bit as the delicate balance in your heart started to waver. Maybe he’d stop there. Maybe he wouldn’t keep talking.

“No matter what.” He buried his face into your neck and inhaled your scent. “Te amo, mi amor.” 

And you cracked. You cried. Because he might only love the shell of you.

You hung your head and rubbed your face with an embarrassed groan. “Was it…bad? Like, secondhand embarrassment bad?” 

“Eh, nah, not really. You covered it up pretty well with ‘I’m just really happy, that’s all.’” Lyla sighed and shook her head. “You’re good, I’ll tell ya that. But you might just wanna be, I dunno, honest?” 

You stared at her blankly. “...No, thanks.” 

“Wooow.”

“I–it’s just not easy. I don’t know how to–to put it into words, or how to really just, y’know, sum it all up.” You ran your hands through your hair and made it into a nest fit for a family of crows to live in before you got up and wandered to the kitchen in search of coffee (because that would definitely help your anxiety). 

Lyla reappeared in the kitchen by your side. “Okay, well, how do you sum it up for yourself?” She adjusted her sunnies a bit as she watched you. 

You paused mid-scoop, and stared down into the tin of grounds, brows furrowed. “It’s complicated.”

“Great!”

“How is that great? It doesn’t solve anything.” 

“Nah, but it’s a start.” 

You blinked, dumbstruck. Because damn. She was right. 

–

You mulled it over in your head and in your heart, thinking hard about how to bring it up to him now that you'd decided, yes, you were in fact going to bring it up to him, to be honest with him. Your nerves recoiled and your stomach roiled when you tried to recite that unwritten script festering in the back of your throat:

“Hey, babe, I need to talk to you about something. It’s nothing bad. It’s just, uh, y’know. I, uh…” 

“Hey, Miggs? Can we talk? It’s nothing serious or anything, but–well, okay, maybe it is serious, just not to you–I mean, no, no, I don’t mean you don’t care or–shit.” 

“Hey, so, there’s something kinda complicated that I wanna talk about, and, uh…just don’t freak out, okay?”

“Okay,” Miguel said. You let out an ugly noise, something between a gasp and a squawk, as you whirled around to see Spiderman himself sitting in your open window with a bag of takeout in his stupid hands.

“Miguel,” you wheezed. “I, uh.” You wiped your palms on your pants and willed the shock away. God, he was so annoying. So goddamn annoying. Why’d he have to show up now? “I thought you–don’t you have work? Wait, come inside first, what’re you doing? Jeeze.” 

He waited for you to come over to him and pull him inside instead of getting up himself. A very Miguel thing to do. He just liked you to worry over him, to get all exasperated and tell him he was being a brat because, well, he thought it was cute. Miguel was a very simple man with simple pleasures. 

“Technically still at work,” he remarked, very blase as you dragged him inside the apartment before closing the window. He set down the take out and rummaged through it. “Lunch break. That turned into a ‘saving Nueva York’ break.”

You nodded and crossed your arms to shield your hammering heart from him. “And now you’re here because–?” 

Miguel shrugged and deactivated his mask as he turned to you, handing you a box of pad thai. “Sorry, didn’t know coming to feed my girl was a punishable offence. How many years do I get?” 

You smiled, and the wild thumping in your chest ebbed. “Dunno yet. I’ll consult the jury.” You took the box from him with a soft “thank you” on your lips, and you sat at the kitchen counter beside him. 

“I await the verdict with bated breath.” Miguel chuckled and shook his head before peeking over at you to catch a glimpse of your fond smile. But he stared a little too long, and you could feel pointed rubies pressing against the side of your face. 

“What?” You asked when you met his gaze. 

He shook his head the slightest bit. “Nothing, just…glad you’re smiling.” Ah, damn. That tone of voice was so soft and gentle. Why was he so sweet? “After last night, I just–I was still kinda worried, I guess.” 

“I’m fine, I’m fine,” you reassured him, fighting through the heat staining your cheeks. “I promise. I don’t really know why I, y’know, got so…so…y’know.” 

“You sure?” Miguel asked. His gloved fingers tucked some hair behind your ear, fanning the flames hiding under your skin. “Sounded like you were rehearsing somethin’ before I crashed the party.”

You opened your mouth to refute, to argue against him, to run away from the issue at hand and save it for another day because why ruin the mood? But the words wouldn’t come up. Excuses didn’t come to mind, either, but bubbling bravery filled your chest and squared off your shoulders as you held Miguel’s gaze with burgeoning confidence. Maybe you could do this. Maybe you could fucking do this. The scariest part was the first step, just like when you said “yes” when he asked you out that first time. 

You could do this. 

“Yeah,” You managed out. 

You cleared your throat while your mind raced. You could fucking do this.

“I, um, it’s not—it’s not serious-serious, like, it’s nothing, uh…well, maybe it is something game-changing, I don’t really know what you’ll think, but…but yeah, I wanted to talk to you about…stuff? An important stuff–thing. Something important. To me.”

Miguel’s expression glowed with fond amusement, and he nodded, turning his attention to you squarely and resting his arm on the countertop. “Alright. Shoot. Important-thing me.” 

You nodded and took a few seconds to collect yourself. “Okay. Alright. Yeah, I got this. I’ll, uh, just get on with it. But I need this first,” you said before snatching the free hand off Miguel’s lap and holding it, fiddling with his thick, strong, gloved digits and making those claws pop in and out; he was the best fidget spinner, turns out. 

“Okay. So, uh. I don’t really know how to start, so this might be bumpy, but bare with me.” You glanced to the side in thought for a moment, and took a deep breath before ranting. “I just—I feel like I’m kind of…in limbo.”

Miguel raised his brows. “Limbo?”

“Yeah. But, like, not in a bad way? I just–it’s just something that’s me, I guess?” Your brows furrowed, wondering if you were confusing him too much with your vagueness. “When you call me a woman, it doesn’t feel–I mean, it’s not wrong, it’s just not the whole story. The whole truth. 

“It’s like being caught in the middle of, uh, man and woman, but being neither at the same time? I don’t–I think I’m still figuring it all out, but I don’t feel like I’m just your woman.” You looked up from Miguel’s hand and caught his patient gaze. Your face heated to a sporty, cherry red when he stayed silent. “I–maybe this was a bad time, sorry, you–”

“Ah-ah, no no no, don’t–don’t shut me out, mi amor,” Miguel rushed to say as he slipped his arm from the counter and held your one hand with both of his. “I have all the time in the world for you, alright?”

You pursed your lips and nodded. “Yeah, of course! Totally, yeah, okay.” 

Miguel chuckled and shook his head, too smitten with you and your antics. “But, alright, let me get this right, make sure I’m understanding things–you’re not necessarily wholly a woman, not wholly a man, somewhere in the middle, but nowhere on that scale at the same time?” 

Death coiled in your gut as embarrassment killed your will to go on. “...Yeah, wow, that sounds pretty stupid in hindsight.” 

“Ay, stop it,” your partner scolded. “It makes sense. I’m serious, I get what you’re saying.” 

“I don’t even know if I know what I’m saying, Miggs,” you sighed. 

“What I’m hearing is that you,” he started, reaching one hand over to tilt your chin up and meet his eyes, “are just you.” His scarlet eyes scanned over your features, admiring his beautiful girl–no, his beautiful partner, the one he was lucky enough to wake up with every morning, and go to sleep beside every night. “Undefined. Not one way or the other. Unlike the rest. Just perfectly you, yeah?” 

Your shoulders relaxed. “Just me,” you repeated quietly. That anxious half-smile bloomed into an honest, content look. “That’s a pretty good way to sum it up, yeah. I’m just me.” 

“And I love ‘just you.’ You know that, right?” He kissed the back of your hand when you laughed and nodded, tears nowhere to be found this time. “Good. So, should I call you something else? Not ‘girlfriend’ or anything?” 

“I think I’m okay with it, I just–I don’t know, I’m happy with ‘she’ as long as you know I’m kind of a ‘they,’ too. If that tracks.” 

“Tracks with me.”

“Alright. Good. Cool. I’ll, uh, let you know if I change my mind?”

“You better,” Miguel huffed. “I don’t want you to cry again–”

“Miguel O’hara,” you scolded, pinching his hand through the suit. “That was so embarrassing–don’t ever ever mention it again, okay? I was in a state last night and I’m trying real hard to pretend it never happened.” 

“Oh, wow, ah-huh. Maybe we should rewrite that night then, hey?” His mischievous smirk perked your intrigue. 

“Oh. Oh. Yeah. I think I’d like that.” You wiggled in your seat, that chaotic mix of old nerves and new excitement making you a fidgety mess of energy. “Right now? Wait, don’t you have work–”

“Eh, they’ll survive,” he said before getting up and scooping you into his arms easily. “Sure they can manage without me for an hour.”

“An hour? What, are we gonna watch a movie after?” Miguel looked at you, eyes so full of embarrassment and betrayal. You tried not to laugh. “I’m just saying. Based on precedent…” 

“I’ll never talk about you crying during sex if you never talk about me cumming too fast that one time.” 

“Pft. One time–” 

“Okay, alright, now you’re really gonna get it, you and that smart mouth of yours.” 

Memories of last night’s heartache and shame crumbled away as he held you, and threw you onto the bed with a smug smirk. Those dark remnants that once encased your heart fluttered away with the exorcism of sharing your aching truth with Miguel, with the sanctity of his unwavering love for you, his family, his partner for life. 

Miguel loved you. You loved him. It really was that simple. 

[halsteadlover]

Just a little rant here about my personal life so feel free to skip lol

I know nobody is gonna read this and I’ll probably delete this when I’ll come to my senses but right now I feel so depressed I just need to get this out of my chest. I always felt tumblr like a safe space so here I am.

I don’t know if you remember the times where I took some time off because of anxiety and my mental health.

Lately it feels like it’s getting worse and I really don’t know what to do, I don’t know if many of you will relate (I really hope not) but it’s just like I don’t know how to be happy and I really hate it here man. I’m so tired of feeling like this, always worrying and having anxiety about something I don’t even know about. I feel so crazy sometimes you know? Like there’s nothing wrong with me, I’m honestly so grateful for the things god gave me. I’m healthy, I have a loving family (even if sometimes they’re overbearing to the point of crazy), I get to study for my dream job, I have a bf that puts up with my ass, friends even if few of them, there’s nothing wrong there are so many worse things people go through and I don’t even have to right to rant about any of this. So why do I feel like I don’t deserve any of this?

I have such deep trust issues it’s ruining my life and relationships, I don’t know why. I hate myself and I sometimes think I don’t deserve to be loved, I’m not that speciale and I’m so damn insecure that every good thing that happens in my life I can’t help but think it’s gonna fade in a minute, that something bad might happen, that I’m so easily replaceable.

Sometimes I truly think that if I disappeared no one would notice or miss me, I thought about doing it but I’m so damn scared. I don’t know where this is coming from, maybe the bullying had something with it I don’t honestly know but I’m so tired of feeling like this.

Why can’t I just love me? Why can’t I enjoy a single good thing that happens to me? Why do I keep sabotage myself by thinking I don’t deserve any happiness and it’ll soon fade away?

For example, these last two days I took three different exams and even though I’m relieved I can’t help but think I’m such a failure, that my parents are so disappointed in me for taking so long to finish a degree I was supposed to finish years ago.

I had an anxiety attack yesterday morning while I was with my bf and I sobbed for hours while he held me but if you ask me what triggered it I wouldn’t know how to answer you.

Why am I like this? Why am I not normal?

It’s just a bit of everything and I honestly don’t know what to do.

But please don’t judge me. I’m aware these “problems” are nowhere serious like some others and I’m so sorry for being so dramatic it’s just… I don’t know guys, I just want to be happy, to feel loved without actually thinking about the worst.

Am I soo pretentious? Do I sound so ungrateful? Complaining about these things when I have everything some people unfortunately dream of? I don’t want to sound like that and I feel so guilty about having these thoughts.

I know you’ll think I’m an attention seeker, fishing for compliments or things like that, I’ve been told that before here and I’m so sorry if it seems that way but trust me it’s the opposite of that. I’m telling this here because I guess it’s easier behind the screen, when no one knows you and can really judge you, but I also thing you’ll judge me anyway but at least it was good for me to let this out.

If someone reads this I hope you won’t think of me any less, and if you’re feeling something like this too I’m so sorry and if you want to talk my inbox and DMs are ALWAYS open for you guys, I’m here even if it takes me some time to answer.

Sorry if something doesn’t make any sense, I didn’t even read this back I’m just cried my eyes out while writing this post and now I have a headache. At least I hope the sleeping will be good lmao.

But tomorrow will be better, I’m sure of this.

[maplleaf]

“Say no to the bride!”

TWST Silver x m!reader

A/N: rushed but i need some self indulgence fic bc tests hard, me braindead, need sleepy boy.

< Set in the Ghost Marriage event, though some of the storyline has been changed. Pre-established relationship >

Silver is a strange person. He’s a human raised by a fae, trained to be a knight for a lord who’s much older than him yet they go to the same school, and has to keep himself from sleeping most of the time. Even with his looks, it’s a surprise that he managed to get himself a partner. 

He isn’t in the same dorm as Silver, but they met after the knight accidentally slept on his shoulders at class. The first time it happened, (y/n) is concerned if he’s okay or not. Though after sitting next to eachother for other classes, he ended up getting used to the weight on his shoulder.

A bond formed when they end up talking to one another often, whether it’ll be for their interests or school-related. It felt natural that their friendship would bloom into something more. And bloom it did. 

Silver values his boyfriend close to how he value Lord Malleus and his family. His partner doesn’t mind if he ends up sleeping mid-conversation, he lets Silver sleep on his lap most of the time. Silver felt like the luckiest man in the world to be able to call (y/n) his boyfriend. 

Which is why he’s not pleased with this particular situation...

(y/n) didn’t agree on becoming a suitor for Eliza, though came along anyway as he’s curious what’ll happen. When all of her suitors have been slapped in rejection, Eliza suddenly pointed at him.

“You...!” 

He thought she was pointing at someone else nearby. Though when he pointed at himself in question, Eliza nodded, “...me?” 

Hearts seems to have formed in her eyes as she instantly bolted right to (y/n), wrapping her arm around him. “...are more perfect for me to wed!”

Everyone burst into a loud “Hah?!”

Eliza swiped a tear from her eye, the question of ghosts having tears in the first place becoming a question of its own. “A charming smile, a handsome face, lips that makes me want to kiss you. Yes, I’ll be your bride....!”

(y/n) stuttered for a moment, not being able to comprehend what’s happening. “w-wait, I’m not your suitor. I already have a--”

Eliza shushed (y/n) with her finger, “don’t worry, hubby. I’ll save you from your loveless marriage!” She seems to emphasized the word ‘loveless’.

Feeling offended, (y/n) defended his perfectly healthy relationship with the sleepy boy. “It’s not loveless! I’m sorry, but I don't want to marry--” he’s once again cut off by Eliza’s enthusiasm.

“Come now! Let’s start preparing our wedding!” she exclaimed in pure excitement, dragging (y/n) along with her. (y/n)’s body couldn’t move, he wanted to protest, and maybe run away to Diasomnia to look for his partner. 

“Tell Silver I didn’t have a right in this, I swear I still love him...!” the doors shut behind Eliza and her ‘fiancé’, leaving the NRC students in silence.

“So...” Yuu started, “who’s going to tell Silver?”

Everyone turned their head towards the prefect, who sighed tiredly. Sadly the prefect is used to doing the chores around this school...

--------------

That's the story on why Silver is currently standing besides Lord Malleus with an unreadable expression. Since Lilia and Sebek were slapped and taken to Eliza's marriage, he's the last person to guard Malleus; meaning he couldn't save (y/n) from the forced marriage.

Even with Silver's calm nature, he felt bitter at the word 'marriage'. He knows that (y/n) wouldn't leave him for the Ghost Bride, but his boyfriend being in constant danger as marrying Eliza means death? He doesn't like it at all, Silver not being able to do anything either makes him more uneasy.

It's been awhile since Yuu and Crowley announced (y/n)'s unconsented engagement. Though every minute passing feels like a year.

Even Malleus took notice how his guard is different than usual, "don't be so stubborn. I don't need protection, go and save your lover."

"(y/n) is strong enough to handle it without me," ah yes, 'coping' as Lilia calls it; a term used a lot these days. He wants to go to Eliza and take (y/n) back into his arms, but fate says otherwise since it would mean leaving Lord Malleus without a guard.

He just needed to believe in (y/n); he's strong, he’s capable. As incapable Crowley might seem, he should've been able to make a plan to save him.

It's all going to be alrig--

The door to Diasomnia opened, revealing (y/n) sweating and panting heavily. He's wearing a black tuxedo, hair styled as if a professional had done it. Unfortunately the fancy attire is messy, so is his hair.

"You... you won't believe the bullshit I just went through," he panted.

Though the loud voice of a certain guard can be heard shortly after. "Human...! How dare you say such foul words in front of the Young Lord!" Sebek scolded (y/n), it's almost magical how he doesn't feel tired from running. 

Silver sighed in relief. The confirmation that his dearest is safe bringing him comfort. Though he did have to see and hear Sebek scolding his boyfriend for the 26th time.

--------------------

“...then she ends up marrying one of her subordinates,” (y/n) recounted everything that happened today. Silver sleeping comfortably on his lap, eyes already closed even if he’s not done with the story.

(y/n) couldn’t help but smile as Silver slept comfortably. As calm as Silver is, he couldn’t help but wonder if he panicked when (y/n) was taken by Eliza. The boy’s hand found itself in Silver’s white locks; combing through the soft hair. 

After Sebek’s scolding about ‘foul languages’, (y/n) and his partner find themselves in Silver’s room; resting after the events that just ended. 

It surprised him when Silver suddenly caught his hand, though the guard doesn’t seem awake yet since all he did is lean against (y/n) closer whilst holding his arm close. 

(y/n) felt like his heart is about to explode, even the simplest actions from Silver could make the poor boy so flustered. 

--------------------------

[bleedgreenblood]

Every time you post about avoiding certain types of relationships, it makes my heart drop because I know deep down it’s describing my relationship with my bf. We’ve been together for almost four years, and because there’s been no drama or craziness, I’ve told myself that we’re happy. But the longer it goes on the less I feel like it’s a relationship that will ever go the places I want it to go. Idk if it’s because I let so much stuff slide at first because I didn’t want to rush things or crowd him, but truth be told we’re really just living separate lives and calling it love. Meanwhile I can’t remember the last time he REALLY wanted to talk to me or make plans with me or care about me in any way that wasn’t somehow for his benefit like a lot of your posts say. I don’t know why or how this is all hitting me now, and I feel bad because it’s not like he’s suddenly acting different. But then any attempt I’ve made to talk to him about our relationship, he either says two words that breeze past the problem or he gets defensive. Hard as it is, I feel like we just aren’t right for each other but it’s also hard to think about walking away because I do love him and used to think he was my forever. Do you have any advice?

Hi, anon! Firstly, I’m humbled that you’ve found my insight valuable enough to trust me with such a personal problem, and I’m happy to provide guidance if you think it would be helpful. Before I proceed, I want to emphasize that my opinion here should of course be taken with a grain of salt, as we don’t know each other (to my knowledge, lol), and therefore my feedback is based on this very high-level summary of your relationship. But since you're asking, buckle in, because I do have a lot to say about this.

My bottom-line takeaway is that it does sound like your relationship has run its course, and even though it (respectfully) sounds like you agree with this on some level, I’m still really sorry, because I know that doesn't make it any less difficult. I’ve been there myself, and can very much relate to that painful and confusing moment where you realize that someone you once saw a future with may not be the right fit for you after all. For whatever it’s worth, I promise you’re not alone in this situation.

One of the hard things about starting a relationship at a formative time in our lives is that we often don’t know how to start real conversations about, or how to look for, fundamental compatibility with another person. We instead allow ourselves to get swept up in surface-level attraction, i.e. finding the other person good looking, creating fantasies of what a relationship would look like based on our own and the other person’s desires versus what they’re actually showing us they’re capable of, and attaching an inflated sense of importance to common interests (Example: "We both love Game of Thrones and going to breweries," which, sure, are fun things to share, but don’t speak to true compatibility in any way). Healthy relationships are built on several key pillars, such as communication, compromise, quality time, and effort, and since there are a myriad of ways to do (or not do) any of the above, it’s critical to have real conversations about whether the way you each approach those pillars are compatible with one another.

When we don’t enter relationships with this level of intentionality, the problem is that time and circumstances inevitably put the relationship – which unbeknownst to us, has a fairly shallow foundation – to the test, so it’s easy for this sudden realization of glaring incompatibility to “sneak up on us".

This makes it even more natural to yearn for “the way things used to be”, and therefore to then hold out hope that perhaps things will “return” to a state where things still "felt okay" if given enough time. But two things on that: 1. Time on its own doesn’t do or count for shit, quite frankly. The only thing something "lasting" over time requires is complacency and stagnancy, so "giving something time" without any action, conversation, or change, is not a testament to something working out. And 2. The likelihood that a relationship will ever “go back to the way it used to be” is virtually impossible, for many reasons.

For starters, you’ve both since changed in some way – if not in hundreds of little ways – since you first got together, so neither of you is going to just suddenly revert to who you "used to be". that's not how time or human nature work. Secondly, we tend to romanticize “the way things used to be” because we associate that time with ourselves being happier in the relationship, but often, if we were to look at things critically, we'd find that the relationship/our partner truly wasn’t all that different or "better" during this time. For example, is it really a new thing that your partner isn’t: communicating with you openly, expressing an interest in the things that are important to you, carving out quality time for the two of you, consistently supporting you, etc. – or can you look back and observe a long-standing pattern of these behaviors? I think our knee-jerk reaction is to say, “Well, of course they used to do those things, otherwise why would it be bothering me now, but not before?” The answer is "simple”: because your standards, needs, or your awareness of your own needs, have elevated.

It’s completely normal, and healthy, for your needs and standards to evolve, change, and elevate over the course of your life. Unfortunately for relationships that were started while you were still getting to know yourself and your needs, especially relationships that were rooted more in attraction or those superficial commonalities, there’s a good chance that your needs will outgrow what the relationship is – and was ever – truly capable of. Maybe it was acceptable to the version of you 4 years ago that your partner fit you in their schedule as he found the time, but now you want a partner who eagerly prioritizes you. Maybe it was acceptable to the version of you 4 years ago that you and your partner only shared surface-level attraction, i.e. sexual chemistry and similar taste in TV/hobbies, but now you crave a more substantial connection rooted in intellect and communication. Maybe it was acceptable to the version of you 4 years ago that you and your partner had different levels of desire to spend time together, but now you want a relationship where quality time is key. It is in no way wrong for your needs and standards for a happy relationship to evolve as you evolve as a person; and frankly, he's not "wrong" to have his needs and standards, either, as some people truly are content and comfortable with having a surface-level attachment they can leave on the back burner while they live their lives primarily for themselves. So, it's not a matter of who is right and who is wrong; it's a matter of "are you two compatible?"

Now, if you look back and feel like your partner truly did used to meet the needs you feel are currently unmet – i.e. open communication, a vested interest in your hobbies and passions, eagerly making time for you, providing you with support – this also doesn’t fare well for the health of your relationship, because it suggests that either, 1. These actions were in some way performative - meaning that he only put in a certain degree of effort until he was certain he “had you”, at which point he elected to stop trying so hard because he felt he could get away with it, or 2. That these actions are inconsistent and conditional – meaning that he communicates with, supports you, and makes time for you when it's easy or convenient for him. While this "me first" approach might work for some couples, I personally believe that relationships built to thrive and last aren't about living your life for yourself and hoping your partner interferes with your personal best interest as little as possible. It takes collaboration around those aforementioned pillars -- perhaps most importantly, communication -- which, according to you, he will not meet you halfway on, despite your attempts.

When we choose to communicate, or not to communicate, we're really answering a question of, "Do I care about and respect this person’s needs and feelings, and the health of our relationship, enough to put in the time and effort to talk things out, even if it means stepping outside of my comfort zone, making myself vulnerable, and having difficult conversations?" So, to me, choosing not to communicate is not only a detriment to a healthy relationship, but it’s a sign of selfishness and disrespect. We call our partners our “significant others” for a reason – because this person should be significant from all others in providing us with a certain level of care, support, company, and conversation. If you find yourself unable to turn to your boyfriend for those things, I just can’t see how he could possibly fill that very important, special role in your life.

Relationships, like anything else worth having in life, need to be earned. No one is entitled to a place in your life simply because they've been there for a while, because they used to meet your standards, or even because you care about or love one another. As hard of a truth as it is to accept, love alone is never enough to carry a relationship, because for some people, love is just a feeling they have for you, or for the benefits you add to their life. Real, lasting love is actionable. It knows, sees, and understands you as you are. It wants to spend time with you. It seeks ways to support you. It desires to build something lasting with and for you.

I'm so sorry that it sounds like this relationship doesn’t have the longevity you hoped it did. But I do truly believe that the while pain of losing the attachment is real, it is temporary — however, the pain of your needs and standards not being met over time will only grow, wear you down, and rob you of the opportunity to meet someone who will meet your needs and standards. And the right person won't make you wonder, beg, wait, or hope for their affection, attention, support, or communication. You are worthy of having your needs met. Read that again. You. Are. Worthy.

[growandrecover]

hey!! I’m in ed recovery but what do I do if I don’t think I’m “bad” enough to recover?? I don’t think I was ever clinically underweight so can I even identify with the ana (or, recovering ana) label? I feel like I can’t recover until I’m properly validated as sick. do u have any tips on how to combat this feeling? tysm, I love ur blog!

Hey! Thanks for the ask <3 I know exactly how you feel. Yes, being underweight is a symptom of anorexia (a *big* one, for whatever reason), but the way I think about it, if a fat person was anorexic, they may not "technically" qualify, but that doesn't make them any less anorexic. You don't need to be underweight to be an ana (although some of them may tell you otherwise, do not listen to them. So many anas are in a very unhealthy headspace where they tell people they need to be sicker, which is frankly not true.) If you feel like/know you are anorexic, you are sick enough to recover. Why? Because if you didn't feel that way, there would be nothing to recover from.

Let me say this to you really quick: You are valid in your disorder. You are sick enough. I'm sure you've heard this before, but people who aren't sick don't think the way we do in terms of needing to feel "sick enough" in order to heal. This is another way our disorders trap us in this endless cycle of harmful behaviors. We convince ourselves we're not sick enough, and we only get worse in the process, which doesn't do any good.

To help with those thoughts, you could write them down whenever one pops into your head. For me personally, when I see my thoughts written down, they become more real. So if I see "I'm not sick enough" written down in front of me, there's a high chance I'll go, "woah, why would I ever think that?". I know everyone is different, so you may need to try something else.

You could talk to someone if you're able to (if you can't get a therapist, try talking to someone who doesn't have an ed because their point of view is so different *only if you know they'll be supportive and won't just tell you to eat*). I say get a person without an ed because I remember telling my younger sibling about certain things having to do with my ed, and they'd always think it was so odd. To them, rules around food are ridiculous. Hearing them say "you want to look like them?" or "I'm eating the same thing, and I'm okay." is so reassuring because it seems so well intentioned and wholesome. They've always encouraged me to eat, especially the foods they know I love. Their point of view always puts my ed related problems into perspective because they have a healthy relationship with food.

If you don't want to do that, you could always just try affirming yourself. Any time your ed voice is really getting to you, you could try saying, "I am sick enough. This particular thing is bothering me so much because I'm sick. Xyz wouldn't be a problem if I didn't have an ed." If you don't believe that right now, that's okay. Sometimes you just have to fake it till you make it.

And one last time, just for good measure: You are sick enough. If you weren't, you wouldn't be worried about it. You can do this, I know you can. You're strong, and you can beat this disorder.

I wish you nothing but success and happiness in recovery, love. Have a great day/night ♡ And feel free to reach out again if you need to talk!

[bcacstuff]

Re: today’s comments about the dreaded “shippers”: can we at least admit that there are shades of this group and differences within it, just as there are in the groups that you may consider yourself part of? I think there’s a strong possibility that sam and Cait are together in some way. I do not call them “marrit” or think they have five “bairns”/“boos,” because I am not a Scottish person in the 1700s or a complete idiot. I hadn’t read the books or any internet opinions on JAMMF before I watched the show, and I do not think they’re just like their characters. But I have eyes, I notice patterns, I believe Hollywood is batshit, I understand how social media works, and I don’t think it’s likely that everything weird about them is just promotion or a coincidence. But yeah, I get how you might think that’s crazy. Why can’t we all agree that there are unexplainable things in every possible explanation for what they are to each other, and that none of us actually knows the whole truth?

(note the Anon sent me this ask after the post last Sunday about shippers making up stories).

I absolutely agree there are shades in each group. Not every mommie is building a shrine, not every anti is calling her readers morons, and not every shipper will believe all the made up stories about hidden marriages, weddingbands that are not there and all the bairns and boos and pregnancies they've made up. I will always respect it when someone likes to think they're together if that is their happy place.

But the truth of the matter is, they're not. Cait is married to Tony and has since August last year a son with him. They're 2 people in a show that shows them as a couple but in reality they're not. They're very different persons from what we can see and often in different places.

If you ignore a wedding license, you go one step too far. If you ignore the many times we've seen they're doing different things in different places and spin all kind of stories around that, which anyone with half a brain can see it doesn't add up, you're simply on a mission that isn't healthy. If on top of that you try to zoom in to funeral videos to proof S was there, while he was clearly in Mexico at that time, and had been in LV and LA the days before, you're sick.

They are two friends, they have an experience together of getting known in the world by a tv show which has been a life changing event for both of them. Add to that the very intimate scenes they have done, and had to work out themselves. They understand both what they've been going through perhaps better than any other person. And that surely creates a bond. If you look at the interviews, in the beginning for sure, I could understand you scratch your head. But also have to say, before I learned all about the fandom, even the word shippers I wasn't familiar with before I came here, I never saw a couple hiding a relationship. Heck I never even saw what the IFH was for people here in the fandom, before I heard the stories about shippers and all the craziness related to that. To me, it was just interviews selling a show, making fun. I saw it from other shows as well.

I don't see many, or even any unexplainable things to be honest. I just see two people that have very different interests and lives, the only thing that connects them is a show and the way that had an impact on their lives. To be honest, most of these 'unexplainable' things, are made up stories, spinning stories and narratives by the fandom it self. Though Sam uses it for selling his swag, Cait has told many times what is and what isn't. Her family even expressed feelings about it. And yes, I can see why, if you have a partner, and work close with another person, and people would go and tell stories about you and this person you work close with, what would you do? How would you feel?

[raesnovelsblog]

Synopsis from IMDB:

Two witch sisters, raised by their eccentric aunts in a small town, face closed-minded prejudice and a curse which threatens to prevent them ever finding lasting love.

My synopsis: 

Sisters have to evade the police after killing an abusive man with the help of their aunts, the mom’s that shunned them, and magic.

My review

I adore this movie. I haven’t watched it in awhile and there were parts I either completely forgot about or didn’t get upon initial viewing. All the actresses brought their A game. I especially loved seeing Margot Martindale. She makes everything better. It’s one of those movies that barely passes the Bechdel test, but is still a strong female centric movie. 

Rating : 9/10

Haven’t watched this movie in a long time.

Love the nod to witches just being misunderstood ladies that knew how to have a good time.

Ah the look of fear on their faces, warms my heart. What did they think would happen when they messed with a witch?

The little versions of them are adorable.

I remembered they lived with their aunts, but I forgot it was because their mother died too.

That poor little bird. It didn’t do anything.

Young Nicole Kidman looks like fun.

Why do they always cut their hands like that? That has to hurt and feels like it would take a long time to heal.

Faith Hill! I loved this song.

I’m obsessed with Sandra’s outfit. Minus the rain boots.

So is the family line also cursed with twins and/or only having girls? Because that wasn’t mentioned.

Digging this soundtrack.

I don’t see what Gilly sees in that guy. 

Her pleases are breaking my heart.

Oh my god, that’s little Evan Rachel Woods.

If you have to drug your boyfriend to go see your sister, that’s probably not a healthy relationship.

See Sally picked up on it too.

Margo Martindale! I love her.

“The nudity is completely optional, as you well remember.” Ha.

He really is a bad guy.

Jilly came up with the plan. Of course it failed.

The man held a gun to your head and that’s the best slap you could give him?

“My wife.” Damn, that movie ruined that phrase.

Digging a grave in the rain has to make it extra difficult.

Midnight margaritas sound like an awesome tradition.

I used to think it was just because they were drunk that they said all of that, but now I get that it was the dead guys' influence.

The aunts singing that song is beyond creepy.

Someone left the bottle on the porch and you drank from it? The townies hate you. I’d be afraid one of them left it with something inside.

Has no one noticed how fast the rose bush is growing?

Poor little girl. I’d be traumatized if I saw a man that no one else could see. Witch or no witch.

Her not being able to lie to him is adorable and awkward.

He murdered another woman? I didn’t remember that part at all.

The townsfolk are truly awful.

If that boy has chickenpox, should he be around the other children? 

Her and the cop have good chemistry.

He went from interrogating to making out really quickly.

The cop has seen a few magic related things, but seeing a ghost rise out of a woman is hard to brush off as something else.

He’s having a hard time adjusting, but he didn’t hesitate with the badge and I give him props for that.

“I wished for you too.” I actually awwed.

I love her using the phone tree.

I love the look of awe in the daughters’ eyes when she lit the candle with magic.

Margo looking around trying to figure out the words - priceless.

Gilly hitting that invisible wall was a good effect.

The power of women. 

So she’s not afraid that he’s only there because of magic anymore?

I want her dress.

When the town thought they were witches, they were scared of them. Now that they know they are witches, everyone’s cool?

I love that the littlest one jumped up into the cops arms. At least you won’t have to worry about the kids not liking the new guy.

[that-left-turn]

I don't get your last anon. I thought this is shipping? Well, we're shipping Caryl, right?! Hardly a ship goes canon. My ships never went canon. Why aren't we allowed to whine about it for years and years?

We start to ship someone, we're searching other shippers, enjoy fanart, fanfiction and whine when they won't get canon etc.

My oldest ship started mid 90s when I was barely a teenager.

Let people enjoy and love whomever they want. No matter if they're going canon or not.

We saw, not long ago, how ridiculous it can get when when a couple is canon. (Cringefest at its finest)

So it doesn't matter that they haven't been together until now. It might not matter if they go canon S2. As long as people ship them, great. (BTW, my first ships fanfiction is still getting updated almost daily 🤗)

Agreed, shipping isn’t related to whether a couple has gone canon or not. It doesn’t even matter if the ship is a popular one because the important part is that it resonates with the viewer. It’s just common to seek confirmation for your observations—we all wanna know we’re not “out there” for thinking something, right? I think the previous anon was simply frustrated and wanted to know why I didn’t seem to share those concerns. I get that 🫠 I can sympathize with the feeling.

My point about the fandom dying wasn't about canon at all. Like you said, there are fandoms where the shows ended decades ago that are still going strong 😊 It feels like there's too much in-fighting between different factions of Caryl fans for this fandom to be healthy. How someone ships is individual: some fans want to remain in their happy bubble and enjoy the fandom spoils without engaging with TPTB, others want to advocate for their ship to go canon. Live and let live, y'know? I don't have the right to tell another person how to enjoy their hobby.

As to whether Caryl would turn into “a cringefest” if they were to go canon depends on how well the showrunner writes old married couple a mature middle-aged relationship, what tone is set for that arc (if it runs counter to the external plot or harmonizes with it), whether there’s studio interference and if the NW EPs have agendas of their own.

AMC (and Norman) like ambiguity to the point of plausible deniability. Caryl will in all likelihood reunite in the last two episodes, unless the block shooting was completely wild (in which case the script supervisor and line producer were the two worst jobs of the entire production). There won’t be time to explore an emotional arc—the reunion would be the denouement of the first two seasons’ B plot: seeing each other again. If there’s canon, it might be the case of acknowledging it having happened at some point offscreen (before the spinoff) and then the show proceeds with “business as usual.”

Based on what little promotion AMC/TWDU have done so far, they’re aiming to draw in all factions of viewers (including those who hate watch) rather than to build anticipation for the core demographic. That usually means a studio is nervous about how the season will be received, but we’re still in standby mode and I don’t want to make blind predictions because AMC has never acted the way other studios would in similar situations.

[theycallme-thejackal]

One MidgeLenny x TSwift Fic Per Day

157. champagne problems

She didn’t know the answer until Gordon was on one knee, a big, shiny diamond ring in his hand as he looked up at her with eyes full of hope.

She couldn’t...she couldn’t even give him a reason. All she knew was that she couldn’t marry him.

She hears the murmurs, the insistence that she’s fucked in the head for not saying yes, for ending her relationship and career in one fell swoop. But what would have been truly insane would have been to enter into a marriage with someone she didn’t love.

She wanted to love him. She tried so hard, but you can’t give your heart to a man when it already belongs to someone else.

She’s in Memphis this weekend, back on the touring circuit now that she’s not writing for Gordon anymore, and it honestly feels good. She saved a lot of great jokes instead of handing them over to the show, so she has about six months of material to work with.

She sits at the hotel bar, sipping a martini and looking over her notes, when suddenly a familiar scent floods her senses.

She freezes as he occupies the neighboring stool. “Long way from the Upper West Side,” he comments.

Midge cautiously turns her head to look at him. She hasn’t seen him in months - except in the papers - and she’s worried that he’ll be thinner, paler, that those dark circles will have deepened beneath his eyes.

But he looks better than ever. Still lean, but he looks healthy. Like maybe he’s getting sleep. “Thought it was time for a break from the gossip,” she comments.

He nods in understanding. “I was sorry to hear about Gordon.”

She narrows her eyes. “Bullshit.” The corner of his mouth twitches as he fights the urge to smirk. “What are you doing here, Lenny?”

The bartender comes over, and Lenny orders himself a drink before looking back at Midge. “Performing, same as you.”

“That’s not what I meant, and you know it,” she challenges, and he has the decency to look a little guilty. “I haven’t seen or heard from you in months."

He nods slowly. “I’m sorry, Midge,” he murmurs as his drink is set before him. “I couldn’t...” He shakes his head and takes a drink.

“Couldn’t what, Lenny?” She presses.

Lenny sighs. “I couldn’t watch you with him. It was too hard.”

“Why?”

“You know why.”

He looks at her with those sad, kicked-puppy eyes, but she’s not letting him off so easy. “Say it.”

Lenny stares at her for a long moment, his eyes dark, and he takes a deep breath, clearly steeling himself. “Because I love you,” he finally admits.

She exhales a long sigh of relief. “Took you long enough to say it,” she half-jokes.

He chuckles softly. “I’ve always been a bit of a coward where you’re concerned,” he explains. “Besides, you could have said it any time in the last six months,” he adds, and she’s grateful to see the glint in his eye, so she continues.

“What makes you think I love you?” 

The glimmer fades, and she’s left staring at an intensely vulnerable Lenny Bruce. “Don’t you?” He asks quietly.

She worries her lower lip between her teeth for a moment and then reaches for him, pulling his hand into her lap and threading their fingers together. “I do love you,” she answers honestly.

He gives her a soft smile, but the way he squeezes her hand gratefully speaks louder. “How long are you in town?” He asks.

“One more show tomorrow night, and then I head back to New York. You?”

“Well, now that I’ve seen you, I’ve got some incentive to stick around Memphis a couple extra days.”

“I’m surprised they haven’t chased you out of town yet,” she teases.

“You and me both,” he agrees, taking another sip of his bourbon. “I’ve been a very good boy lately.”

“I noticed. I haven’t seen your name much in the papers.”

“There are several reasons for that - not all comedy related,” he explains with a dismissive wave.

She tilts her head curiously. “Tell me about them?” She asks gently.

He gazes at her and nods, and while he talks, he never lets go of her hand.

[this-strange-obsession]

Rant #4002746 (post-rant note: this is pretty lengthy boys and I’m not sorry bc it needs to be said)

(God I rant too much about this comic, but honestly this is the only place I can do that)

Okay, so, once again seeing a fairly common opinion among the fandom which I don’t agree with, so you all know what time it is!! That’s right! Another of my stupid piping hot takes!!

This episode is the result of the idea that Jekyll deserves all the hate and that he’s the bad guy in the story, blah blah blah. I know, I know, I’m just defending him because I relate to him to an alarming degree, BUT. I also think that everyone forgets that the rest of the characters we see in TGS aren’t exactly saints either.

I saw someone else point this out, but I didn’t know if everyone forgot or decided to ignore it, but Robert said some shitty stuff to Jekyll. And the thing is, he didn’t even do it as a one-off thing. I’ve warmed up to Robert, but I still don’t entirely like him. The biggest thing is obviously the whole breakup scene. And we could argue here that Jekyll interpreted incorrectly, HOWEVER. While Lanyon himself didn’t recite verbatim what was said, he still admitted it was “venomous” and he was lashing out.

Idk who needs to hear this, because it’s a very important thing to remember irl we tend to forget, but somebody taking their anger/stress out on their partner- physically OR verbally- IS NOT OKAY. In ANY situation.

It is NOT excusable. Regardless of the fact Lanyon was breaking up with Jekyll, especially BECAUSE he was breaking up with Jekyll, he has no right to yell or berate his partner the way he did. That’s the whole theme of this comic- not understanding how to communicate in a healthy way. It’s not just a problem Jekyll has and everyone is forgetting that.

You are allowed to be emotional in that scenario. You are allowed to be angry. But you have to understand how to feel angry in a way that doesn’t hurt anybody, whether that’s you or the people around you. You collect your thoughts beforehand, and at least somewhat try to articulate what you want to say. You blend the emotion with the logic, not just rid yourself of one or the other.

Lanyon did none of that. He was kind of self-destructing and in doing so, he pierced Jekyll with stray shrapnel. That was so not okay. And that’s me getting upset over the general description of the breakup. The fact that Lanyon essentially told Jekyll he was expendable?? Absolutely not. No. I was LIVID when I read that.

I don’t give a fuck, Lanyon in that moment was a piece of shit, and I hate him for it. And I’m even paraphrasing here, the actual quote was something closer to, “why would anybody give up their future prospects for someone like you?” OH MY FUCKING GODDD. “SOMEONE LIKE YOU?” “SOMEONE LIKE YOU????” OH HELL NO.

That’s not even touching on the fact that we can assume from how Jekyll described everything, this was his first gay relationship. This was the first time he acted on his “sinful desires.” And the way it ends is like this?

Once again, I relate to Jekyll a painful amount, and while it didn’t go exactly like this, it threw me back to the last argument me and my best friend had. Our relationship was… complicated. We liked each other, but it always seemed to be off. They would get into a relationship when I was acknowledging my feelings, and when I was repressing them, my best friend would starting pursuing me. At one point, we had a sort of unspoken thing going on where we both understood our feelings and we were VERY obviously gay for each other and even got a little too touchy for “just two good friends” frequently. But we never made it official. Over the last few months of the friendship, they became more distant and withdrawn. I confronted them about it, we had a huge and messy argument, and they said some really uncalled-for things. I have really bad mommy issues (TM), and they said something that really crossed the line.

I know I was no saint during our friendship or the argument, but jesus christ, there are just some things you should never say to people. And the fact that it was my closest friend and first queer crush/situationship(?) who said it? Of course I developed trust issues and trouble communicating my true feelings, like??

..Idk that just hit a nerve and I hate that people act like either of them are the victim. Again, I’m not saying Jekyll is completely innocent, but he’s also not completely guilty.

It’s not even JUST the breakup scene I hate. Lanyon is STILL kind of an asshole and enables Jekyll’s whole glass scientist complex. During the ball (I can’t remember the reason for it exactly, I think it was just for keeping appearances and connections.) when Jekyll was having horrible hallucinations and acting completely unlike himself, all Lanyon did was reinforce that idea that Jekyll just needs to pretend like he’s someone he isn’t.

If y’all don’t remember, Jekyll ran outside in the middle of the party because he was seeing a lot of disturbing shit and Moreau’s ghost grabbed him. When Lanyon found him, Jekyll was fervently babbling about Moreau following and judging him because he knows Jekyll’s “rotten on the inside.”

So how does Lanyon console him? He just starts his spiel about how it doesn’t matter if Jekyll is actually rotten on the inside, as long as he’s decent on the outside.

BRUH, I’M—

AHHHHHHHHH

..ehem..

I KNOW he immediately backpedals by saying Jekyll is the most decent guy he knows, but in that context, in Jekyll’s eyes, he was interpreting that as, “you are the most OUTWARDLY decent guy I know.” So that did jack-shit for Jekyll’s sanity because as much as Lanyon could have meant it about his personality, he didn’t execute it very well!?

There’s other little things I hate about him, such as the whole thing where instead of just fucking asking for an open and honest conversation, he goes behind Jekyll’s back and snoops in his office for answers. The thought of asking only occurs to him after this when Lucy points it out.

Idk, I like Lanyon as a character, I do- it’s just that I feel like we let him off the hook far too easily anytime he says or does something wrong just because he’s doing what he thinks is best for Jekyll.

There are better ways to go about supporting someone you care about. And it’s driven home a thousand times over that healthy communication is not a phrase these idiots have in their vocabulary, but I guess that keeps going way over some people’s heads and it’s been so goddamn frustrating seeing them drag Jekyll for things OTHER FUCKING CHARACTERS DO.

[drdemonprince]

What would you advice be to an autistic person who wants to make friends online but is afraid to? I was severely cyber bullied and groomed by older men growing up which causes me to be scared to connect with people online.

I think you have to really like the person, and really like the activities you share. 

There are so many avenues online for interacting with others, or having your digitally-mediated expression of selfhood interfacing with somebody else's digital mediated expression of selfhood, and a lot of it is very time consuming but with little lasting substance and a lot of advertiser profit motive driving and facilitating it. you can pour hours, days, years into something very engaging and distracting without having much of a relationship to show for it, or you can find a few people the mean a whole lot to you and who care about you, and those two very different things can happen on the exact same communities/apps/websites. 

making friends after you've been mistreated is hard, it's hard in person and it's hard virtually. I've written a ton about boundaries and all of that holds (and here I will once again nod over at Captain Awkward and strongly recommend her blog for those still working on the core base of boundaries piece), and I've written a lot about bad friendships and my own failures to advocate for myself, and that's all well and good, and having those skills is necessary, and the only way you get them is through practice. 

you will probably need years of practice. i sure did and still do. making new friends and building a community is a lot of long, hard work. it’s worth it, but you’re not a failure if it doesn’t take right away. if you aren’t used to finding acceptance and building healthy relationships it will take a lot of meeting people repeatedly and trying new things and feeling unsure to get there. and that long long process is the only way it will happen for most of us. if you’ve been traumatized online, you don’t ever have to make friends online again if you don’t want to. but for many autistic people it is one of the easiest ways to go about initially meeting people. and that really just does come down to trying out a variety of different options, and sticking with a few of them long enough to actually get to know the people there, while practicing your own self advocacy the entire time. it’s that like, simple, and that hard and long. 

 but beyond that I think it has to come down to this: you have to actually be able to delight in somebody else and in the activities and pursuits you share together. 

If you can find someone who delights you (when you interact and in relation to one another, not just because something they have *made* delights you), by god show it, because we are all aching for that kind of connection and there is nothing more beautiful than it. that kind of thing is really rare. in order to get there, you have to be a part of conversations, message people, ask people questions, participate in online games or activities, attend virtual events, listen to other people, meet people and size them up a whole lot. like years worth of a lot. you just do it and keep doing it, not being married to any one interaction having any particular outcome, because most people will not be people who delight you or who find delight in you, and that will never come instantly anyway, but the more you start meeting people and trying new things the more you’ll start to get a sense of what you really like, and who really likes you in return. 

Going pretty abstract with my answer here because I think the how to's that I wrote in the relationship chapter of Laziness Does Not Exist and in my essay an Autistic Social Butterfly's Guide to Making friends cover the practical side pretty well already. if you haven’t checked those out I’d recommend them. Thanks for your question.