#I guess I don't really have to talk about myself on a page like that though

[waywardwritesstuff]

HIIII!! How are you?

I was wondering if you could do a platonic rottmnt Donnie x reader one shot?/nf of course! Maybe like some comfort after reader has had a bad day.

I LOVE YOU!! remember to drink water!

-Axel <3

Bad days: ROTTMNT!Donnie X GN!Reader

ROTTMNT!Donnie X GN!Reader

Word count: 1k+

Looking left and right before removing the server grate I climb down the access hatch into a tunnel underneath New York. I pull up the straps on my back so that it doesn't scrape on the walls on my way down. I don't even look where I'm going, I just watch my feet as they splash through the puddles and scuff up some gravel with the heel of my shoe. Not even paying attention to which tunnels I'm turning down, I know where to go, my legs will just carry me.

My mind begins to wander to the events of today. School. Such a useless waste of time, the turtles are lucky they never have to go. They would never get tired or be told they fail because of a letter on a page. They wouldn't have to worry about fitting in or fitting out. They just get to live, even if it is in the shadows.

It's not all bad, I have April at school but she's busy and we don't share any classes. But she has my back when it counts. But...some days are just harder than others, and today seems to be that day.

As I come to the last tunnel I can hear the sounds of the guys, Leo is yelling about some skateboard trick and Raph is yelling back, telling him he'll crack his shell if he's not careful. 'He's such a mum' I think to myself, and it makes me smile.

I enter the lair and am witness to one hell of a stunt gone horribly wrong. I watch as Leo dives down the half-pipe doing a handstand on his skateboard. He makes it to the bottom before his weight tips the skateboard and he goes flying into the other side of the pipe. I cringe watching his head collide with the wood. Raph rushed over to him first and Mikey soon after. As usual, Raph is fussing but Leo says he's fine. Mikey looks stary eyed saying "My go! I want to try that" Raph starts to scold Mikey now and a big commotion starts up.

The noise is becoming too much so I sneak around them and head towards Donnie's room/lab. The door is shut but I can see that the lights are on. I know once, twice and whisper 'Donnie, it's me' and wait. A few seconds later in dramatic fashion the door is swinging open, and the light is flooding the floor at my feet. "Come in compadre," he says, and I step inside.

As usual his lab is a mess and his bed even more so. He has half working tech and circuit boards littered over his desk, he has papers and designs laid out on his bed, some even trailing onto to floor. I stare at the equations and diagrams but none of it makes sense to me. And that reminds me why I'm here in the first place. I'm here to see my friends after one of the crappiest days in school history.

Not knowing where to sit I stay awkwardly standing by the door, hugging my arms to myself. Donnie has already gone back to messing with some of his tech but his head perks up suddenly and he spins in his chair to look at where I'm standing.

"What happened?" He says bluntly.

I deter my eyes away from him.

"Judging by your attitude, your unusual quietness and the stiffness of your posture and the fact that you are still wearing your backpack I would say that you had a bad day at school"

Shrugging I still don't look at him as I say "I guess so"

Out of the corner of my eye I see him tilt his head at me. He begins muttering to himself, something fast under his breath, I only catch a few words 'doesn't want to talk' and 'maybe but I don't know'

I look at him now and he's still in full conversation with himself.

"Donnie?" He looks up at me

"Oh yes, right" he clears his throat.

"It seems you may be in need of a..." He pursues his lips, and he looks like he is trying to chew and swallow his tongue as he says, "a hug?"

I blink at him confused, Donnie doesn't do hugs, Donnie also doesn't really do touch. I don't want him to feel like he has to touch me just because I'm feeling down, does he feel obligated or something? No, he wouldn't, because he hasn't done it in the past.

"No, Donnie seriously it's fine. I'll be fine" I take a small step back and hug my elbows to my chest.

He looks down at the floor and then chews his lip "If you want to I'm offering. You can obviously say no, I know how important personal space is, believe me. But if you need one, then just this once I'm willing to give you one"

I look at him, I can see it's taking him a lot of effort to offer this, and I don't want to make him uncomfortable, but I really need this right now. I take a careful step forwards and then another. I unlatch my arms from around myself and open them in his direction. He does the same, and taking the last step, we wrap our arms around each other, his green ones around my tan ones.

His skin is cool and the scales littering his skin feel different in comparison to mine. It's not a bad difference it's just different.

I can hear his heart beat, slowly thumping against my chest. His breaths are a little shallow but I figured as much. He holds me really delicately, like I'm something precious and it's enough to make me want to cry. I squeeze him tighter one last time and let go.

Looking at him, I smile and say "Thank you Donnie, that meant a lot" he puts a hand on the back of his neck and cuffs

"Oh it was nothing" he smiles back at me. Then returning to his usual self he turns back to his desk and calls me over to take a look at his newest invention.

I hope you enjoyed this, it was a little short I'm sorry but I still hope you liked it. Again sorry it took so long

[jaydenchip404]

My grandpa came outside into the backyard and told me that my younger cousin is going to quit his job at [insert job here], and he is going to go work at another place, so my grandpa told me that I could go work at [insert job here]. He said that I could fill out the application online, or I could tell my younger cousin that I'm going to go in person, and my younger cousin can tell his manager to look out for somebody with my name.

That kind of made me sad, because I knew he was thinking about my birth name, and it made me feel bad because my name isn't [dead name], it's Rowan.

My name is Rowan, and it has always been Rowan. My name has never once been [dead name]. Sometimes it's Jayden, but like, 99% of the time, my name is Rowan.

I don't want to get a job or get an ID because I don't want people to know or see me as my birth gender. I don't want my ID to say "female". I want it to say "male".

I cut my hair and wear baggy clothes because I thought it would dampen the female parts of my body and appearance, but somehow, to me it only emphasizes it.

I was watching a YouTube video where the YouTuber was talking about a video game character's ex-girlfriend, and it just made me super insecure because I want to have a partner, but I'm sort of incapable of having feelings for somebody in a romantic context. I want to date someone; I want to be in love with someone, but I just can't get myself to have those feelings for them.

To make matters worse, all over my YouTube short page is Brett Cooper. She is basically the female version of Ben Shapiro, and everybody in her comment section was agreeing with her about how the LGBTQIA+ community is horrible and how the parents are horrible, toxic people for letting their AMAB children wear dresses and they were being sexist to women.

Most, if not all, transgender people tend to start exploring their identity when they are children or when they hit puberty. It's chemicals inside your brain saying that you don't want to be this or that you like [this] instead of [this]. You're born this way. It's not something that you choose to be.

I'm not a boy or girl; I'm just me, and I like all genders. What's wrong with wanting to wear boys' clothes? What's wrong with wanting to go by gender-neutral terms? What's wrong with having crushes on people for their personalities and not what's inside their pants? What's wrong with any of that?

One of my biggest fears—the thing that has been eating at me for the last couple hours—is that I'm going to spend the rest of my life as a woman who is married to a man. I don't want to be seen as that—I don't want to live my life as that.

Yeah, I'm pansexual; I will literally date anyone of any gender identity, because I care more about our emotional connection, their personality, and their appearance than what genitalia they have or their gender identity, but being a woman in a heterosexual relationship is just something I don't want to be outwardly seen as.

I don't know what about being seen, as CisHet is so gross to me. I guess it's just the 'being seen as a woman' part, because I'm not a woman, but I'm also not a man. I know I keep saying this, but I'm just me. I guess I am non-binary instead of genderfluid. Since I'm not a man, a woman, or anything else really,.

I guess it's just the feeling of being masculine or feminine, and not man or woman, but again, I'm not entirely sure on that because sometimes I do feel very strongly like a man, other times I feel strongly like a woman, sometimes I feel extremely neutrally aligned, and other times I feel completely genderless. So I guess non-binary and genderfluid I could just use together, even though I only want to use one label.

If I really had to sum it up into three labels, I would say: genderfluid, aroace, and pansexual.

My mom and I have been talking about cashing my checks at the bank, and I'm just so scared to do it because I don't want to have my birth name on my account and ID and then not be able to change it in the future. I want to legally change my name, but I have a lot of commitment issues, so I don't really know if I actually want to do that or not, but I really, really like going by the name Rowan. The name just makes me feel so nice and comfortable with myself, but I'm scared to tell my mom that my real name is Rowan.

I just don't know what to do and I'm scared.

[arashi-no-saxlphone]

Hhh... I like people I think. I thought I just didn't like people for a long time but the longer I live and the harder I try, the more people I find that I DO like. Some of them are complete strangers. Some of them I've never even SPOKEN to directly. But I look at the way someone posts about something silly, or I stare at a piece of art or drawing, or read a little post that discusses a feeling or experience and it's like

Do you know how beautiful you are? The post you made or the art you drew that you threw out into the wide cavern of the world thinking "oh whatever it's just a little thing I'm putting out there in the void" bounced and echoed and reverberated its way all the way to my little shadowy corner and made me stand in the dark. Made me rise and feel like it could be done. Life could be lived. That all the little scraps of me are in fact a person that can shout and make an echo that reverberates along the world's walls, all the way back to you, or anyone.

All that reverberates that way is so important to me. Don't ever stop sharing whatever you create - you truly can't know how far your echo will travel, or just how beautiful the sound will be when it reaches someone desperate to hear it.

[solradguy]

I know exactly how to write code doesn't work in HTML and CSS through the power of over 1000 Neocities page edits

[readymades2002]

i still think that pronouns being a...somewhat common expected mode of introducing yourself is strange 😭 the purpose that makes sense to me in doing that is mostly to signal that you're trans or otherwise affiliated (which...i know that "allies" doing things like this or calling people their partner or whatever is meant to create a space where people feel comfortable coming out, but as i still cannot bring myself to come out in such situations and as i've had Really Bad Experiences with people claiming to be allies i haven't internalized this as a purpose that makes sense yet), but i know that it is also genuinely supposed to be like. "here's how you should talk about me if you want to mention me to a third person!" which is something that makes me REEL to think about. there is no universe where i want to introduce myself to someone by telling them how to correctly and incorrectly talk about me to someone else!! i don't understand...

[inkskinned]

okay if you're really cool about things, i can be honest with you. before you read further, decide if you're a girl's girl. if you're cool and actually cool or like not cool.

men don't talk in my book because i was fuckken tired of the way they're the center of every fucking story. i was tired of how every story takes a moment to let them talk. men can shut up for literally one fucking book.

unfortunately not everyone is cool. professionally what i usually say is i didn't want to add violence to the world. the only men in my book are abusers, so they don't get to talk. they don't get to take up space. they ruined my life, they don't get to have their words echo anymore.

because like, yeah! you find practically any story about a person surviving trauma and... there's a man at the center. men are often rescuing us from these things. a "good man" is always standing around, being a good man, proving to the victim that good men are the real men. that her experience was unique rather than universal.

the redacted text has not been taken well by all of my early readers. there is this weird, crouching growl that keeps occurring with men-of-a-certain-age. why don't we hear his side of the story?

when i sat down to write everything that happened to me, i couldn't look at the frank brutality of my abuser's words on a page and think to myself: i actually let him speak like that. i had to redact his words from the manuscript. i then left it redacted. no victim is going to read this book and hear the person who hurt them. it is a book for the victims to speak. abusers shut up challenge, forever. for eternity.

my father once told me, chuckling, i should just have a page of redaction where i let the man just finally talk. it is funny to joke about how we should make a whole page in my book about a man that hurt me. this was not the only time someone commented - it feels like you're hiding things. how do i know you're actually a victim if he doesn't get to speak?

there are books where women aren't even present. i even genuinely like some of those books. like, who doesn't like the hobbit?

i keep running into people defending this imaginary man. the default narrative is so true to some people that they will defend any man, just by virtue of the assumption - "if he's acting like that, you had to push him." certain people need definitive proof that you didn't accidentally make your partner into an abuser. they need to decide if you deserved it, because they want to be able to judge you.

which makes sense, i guess, from a hind brain perspective. if you can figure out "why" someone was cruel, you can protect yourself against it. if you defend the bully, the bully might side with you. i don't really know their explanation for feeling this about a character in a book. trust me, i wrote the guy. he is not going to protect you.

i guess i just - there was a time in my life where i desperately wanted anyone to defend me. where i could have really used someone saying holy shit are you okay instead of what did you say to make him act like that to you.

instead, over dinner, a friend-of-a-friend i just met is pouring herself wine. i heard you wrote a book, she says. she gives me the kind of chilly smile i associate with knives. i heard it's unfair to men.

[caassette]

been on tumblr less than a week and already Trans Discourse is on my timeline front page dash...

idk i kind of just feel like...there are actual real threats right now in the world to all trans people, and like. trying to create in-groups and out-groups within the community is the most braindead thing you can do

they are killing us. they want us dead. any time you try to segregate one fraction of the queer community from another, their job gets a little easier. let me give you an example that happened recently in Texas while I was living there:

June 2022: Log Cabin Republican Praises Trump, "Don't Say Gay", Trans Hate

Also June 2022: Texas GOP's New Platform calls gay people "abnormal"

Log Cabin Republicans are essentially gay conservatives. And as part of trying to be accepted, under Trump, they decided trans people were the out-group and that gay people (specifically, white cisgender gay men) were the in-group.

If I had to guess, they probably figured so long as they also pointed the finger at us and called us groomers and said we were fetishists, they would be more accepted in the republican party.

Guess what happened? Not that! Instead, the Texas GOP, in 2022 (Two Thousand And Twenty Two) decided that being gay was once again Not Okay!

This is what I'm getting at: in queer spaces, always, always, there must be solidarity. There is no such thing as someone who is "not gay enough", or "not really trans", or "just looking for attention."

I, myself, am a binary trans woman. My current partner is a genderfluid transmasculine nonbinary person. Do I spend hours talking with them about how they do or don't face certain forms of oppression, or about how their identity is less valid than mine?

Of course not! We kiss and hold hands and fuck and have empathy for each other.

As a queer person it is YOUR RESPONSIBILITY to be one hundred percent accepting, validating, and encouraging of ALL QUEERNESS, because the second you decide to draw the line, the oppressor wins.

Maybe you're not a Log Cabin Republican. Maybe you're not advocating for trans genocide while being in a same-sex relationship. Maybe you just, idk, use the word "theyfab." Or you think pansexuals should "just call themselves bi."

It doesn't matter that the line you've drawn is farther left, or smaller, or excludes less of the community.

What matters is that you've drawn it at all.

[ghyulia]

𝗢𝗯𝗲𝘆 𝗠𝗲 𝗕𝗿𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿𝘀! 𝗪𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝗧𝗵𝗲𝘆 𝗙𝗶𝗻𝗱 𝗢𝘂𝘁 𝗧𝗵𝗲𝘆’𝗿𝗲 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗧𝘆𝗽𝗲 𝗽𝟮!

p1 | p2

‹𝟹 ft. Satan & Beelzebub

sorry for any grammar mistakes!!

𝗦𝗮𝘁𝗮𝗻

𐙚 . He's pretty surprised. Satan knows that he's pretty attractive, but he doesn't have the best of qualities. He genuinely thinks you would fare better with someone who isn't as.. short-fused as him. He appreciates your feelings, of course! He's so madly in love with you

𐙚. Satan resolves not to mention it or make an appearance at the moment as quietly makes his way back to his room. He doesn't think you noticed him.

𐙚. Little did he know, you managed to catch a glimpse of a blonde head swiftly disappearing from behind the door. You knew he heard you and chose not to say anything or make himself known. This threw you for a loop. Did he like you? Did he try to flee the scene in hopes that you wouldn't notice him because he didn't feel that way about you?! All of these thoughts were weighing you down.

𐙚. After a few hours, you finally decided to man up and pay him a visit. It wasn't unusual for you to visit him at this time, since you both usually liked to read while occasionally talking about events that transpired through the day.

𐙚. You knock twice. "Satan?"

"Oh, (Name)." "Come in."

You warily open the door, all your confidence from a few minutes ago dissipating. It's now or never, anyway. You swallow your fear.

"How was your day?" You say. "It was pretty normal. Remember that book from the human world that piqued my interest? It finally came in. I was pretty excited to read it, but I thought it might be better to wait for you. I got a little impatient and read the first few pages, though...I hope that's fine." "Hey, (Name), you seem really tense. Is everything all right?" Satan points out.

"Huh? ..Oh yeah. I'm good..I'm super excited to read the book, too!" You force out. He really is acting like he didn't hear what you said. You were starting to get frustrated, and Satan could notice it too.

"Seriously, (Name). What's up with you?" Satan inquires, confusion written all over his face. His beautiful face. That stupid face!! That face to the body of a stupid demon who's acting like he didn't stupidly hear your confession of love (it wasn't even really a confession..)! That tipped you over the edge.

"What's up with me is that I said you were my type! You were there! You were there....and now you're pretending not to have heard me! That obviously means you don't like me, or at least not enough to mention it! It makes me feel so stupid, Satan. So, so unbelievably stupid. And I know it's not your fault, but sometimes I feel like what we do is pretty intimate, you know?! I mean when we read in your room I'm basically on top of you. A guy who doesn't like me should at least have the decency to stop me from making a fool out of myself. He should push me off him! I really like you, but you obviously don't reciprocate, so you should at least say somet-"

Your ramble is abruptly halted with a short, sweet peck on your cheek. You tilt your head a little to face the Cynical Fourth born, whose ears are fully crimson.

"Y-You.."

"(Name), I'm sorry. I didn't... really know how to bring it up. I told myself that I would later, after we got comfortable. Of course I'm into you. Who wouldn't be? You're amazing, funny, and kind, and you never fail to bring a smile to my face. I'm always quick to anger, as you know..but around you, I always find myself striving to be a better person. You keep me in check. I'm not just into you... I know for a fact that.. ᵗʰᵃᵗ ⁱ..ˡᵒᵛᵉ ʸᵒᵘ." He barely mumbles out the last part. Your smile grows wider and wider, before you all but pounce on the demon.

"I guess that would make us the perfect pair because I feel the exact way about you, 'Tan!"

Satan's smile is the widest you've ever seen. He doesn't know what the future has in store for him, but he knows that as long as you are by his side, there will be nothing he can't overcome.

𝗕𝗲𝗲𝗹𝘇𝗲𝗯𝘂𝗯

𖦹 He doesn't understand. He's your ideal type of what? He doesn't get it, so he just ignores the statement for a while and continues doing his daily activities.

𖦹 A few hours later, the thought of what you said resurfaces, and while filming his new DevilTube workout video with Asmodeus, Beel decides to ask what it means to be someone's "Ideal type." Once Asmo explains what it means and he finally understands and fully processes what you meant by the statement, he goes fully red. He's so embarrassed he didn't get that earlier. But at the same time, he's ecstatic. You're his type too!

𖦹 Poor guy can't even focus on his workout video. He wraps it up as quickly as possible, leaving Asmo with the editing, and makes a beeline for your room. He stops halfway.

𖦹 He's sweating like a pig...It would probably be best to freshen up before confronting you about what you said. He makes a mad dash to the shower, freshens up quickly, and then hastily makes his way to your room.

"(Name)? You in there?"

"Yeah! Come in, the door is unlocked." Your voice was muffled. "Sorry, I'm looking for a potions book Solomon lent to me. What's up? Asmo was texting the group chat about how you abandoned your "Deviltuber Duties"..or something," You giggled, still not facing him.

"Earlier..You said I was your ideal type. I didn't know what it meant, so I ignored it, but I know what it means now.." Beel confesses.

You freeze. "You heard that?!" You quickly turn around. You felt like all the blood you had in your human body was rushing straight to your face. Your eyes meet his, and you finally realize that the 6'4 demon's face is also decorated in a deep shade of red. You guys are practically matching at this point!

"(Name)... You should probably know that you're my type too. You've always accepted me and my brothers. You still treated Belphie with kindness even after the rough start you two had. I admired that about you. I'm okay with sharing my food if it's you. I've always thought you were amazing ever since the day you stood up for me and Luke. You didn't waver in front of Lucifer, who can be really scary at times...and it made me feel so warm. My feelings only grew from there."

You tear up a little. "Beel, you're so amazing. I don't know what I did to deserve someone like you."

"I think it's the other way around, (Name)." Beel leaves a chaste kiss on your lips and engulfs you in a warm hug.

The Gluttonous seventh-born knows he'll continue to treasure you forever. Beelzebub had never paid any mind to the sun at first because it never shined in the Devildom, but you changed that. You exuded light and radiance from the moment he met you. You were the sun. His sun. He's just so happy that he gets to be the one closest to your heart. You smile and indulge in his embrace, the potions book long forgotten.

a/n: ahhh it's done!! sorry for the wait omg :(( I'm thinking of what to write ab next but I hope ygs enjoyed this one! oh if anyone has any ideas on what I shld write abt next pleaseee lmk haha :)

[bonny-kookoo]

green!family is so cute :((( does oc see their lowkey family portrait on the fridge when she comes over?

The second time Jungkook visits with his daughter, she's a lot more comfortable basically zooming right off into your apartment the second Jungkook has taken off her boots and coat.

It makes you happy to see her this comfortable in your home, even if Jungkook feels a bit embarrassed by the way she visibly forgot to even greet you, instead jumping right onto your sofa since her favorite cartoon is already running on the TV. "I'm so sorry, I swear she's more polite usually-" He defends himself, but you wave it off.

"It's not that big of a deal Jungkook, really. I'm glad to see her happy." You reassure the young father. After all, it must be quite a handful to manage such a young child, work, and your own life all at once. And honestly, it's not surprising she's still rather unsure about you- you've noticed that she hesitated while looking at you as Jungkook had slipped off her boots.

She does, often, look at you from a distance. As if she's trying to figure out how to approach you, of if she should. So it's not that she's impolite- she just doesn't know how to really act towards you.

"I guess it might be because.. well, she's mostly around me, or my friends. And they're all men." He sighs. "I'm.. I mean, you know, I've been with women here and there, but I've.. always kept them from her, you know? I didn't want her to get confused, or attached, and then..."

"Jungkook, that's completely reasonable." You say, walking into the kitchen with him to get something to drink. "...though I do feel rather special now, hearing that." You tease, and much to your surprise, he takes the bait right away, and bites down with the force of a predator.

"Well, I'd promised myself to only ever introduce her to someone I'd see myself with long-term." He explains, walking closer to you until his hands are on your hips, eyes traveling from your neck up to meet your gaze. "And from what I can tell... and from what I've.. experienced.." He says more quietly, a warmth to his words that softens up your soul, as he leans even closer, eyes moving from your lips back to your eyes again, unsure. "...we do fit quite well." He teases with an impish grin, making your ears flop down a bit in shyness, clearly getting the hint at what exactly he's talking about.

"Minji-" You start, but he only raises his brows before he tilts his head to the side.

"Is in the living room, watching TV." He calms you. "But don't worry- I won't yet do that." He purrs, leaning closer to instead kiss your cheek, chuckling.

"But we already kissed.!" You complain as he moves away from you, grinning as he takes his and your cup of tea to bring along into the living room.

"Not really." He denies however, sending you a rather odd look. "Not.. like that." He reminds you-

and you realize what he means.

Once you sit down on the sofa- Jungkook between you and his daughter, the mood eases up quite a lot, both you and Jungkook talking about random things of your days while Minji happily watches the frog-cartoon next to her father, only occasionally getting distracted by something.

But it's when both she and her father leave that suddenly, your doorbell rings again, causing you to open it, surprised. "Did you forget something?" You ask, but instead of Jungkook answering, Minji whines, and jumps with something in her hands, holding it out for you to take.

"She left it in the car, but really wanted you to have it." Jungkook explains as you unravel the rolled up page of paper, curious as to what it might be.

It's a page out of a coloring book, colorful strokes of crayon painting the bodies of the frogs and background. A sun in the corner with a smiling face, little trees and flowers all around, and in the middle, three frogs. Two bigger one's stand next to a smaller one in the middle on a swing, the small child-frog and the bigger frog on the left colored different shades of green- with added strokes of a black fineline marker, clumsily drawing in two small lines on one side of the big frog's mouth.

Jungkook's piercings, you realize. She even drew them some bunny ears, even though they're a bit off-center and different sizes.

But what catches your attention most is the frog on the right, painted with orange and red, a fluffy big tail added to it, making it clear who it's supposed to resemble.

A small hand tugs on your shirt. Only now do you realize your eyes have begun watering up.

"I-It's really pretty Minji." You praise, blinking the tears away before they can fall, as you squat down.

"She wants you to have it. We have made a copy, it's hung up on our fridge." He kindly tells you, and you nod, sniffling a little, trying hard to keep it together. But the gentle hand of the little girl carefully petting your head is enough to make you break down a little, moving the picture away as to not get any tears on it.

The picture on the fridge presenting so much more now than just a child's drawing.

[webslingingslasher]

Hi can I get any kind of frat!peter angst, I’m such a slut for angst and something ab frat!peter makes me go feral

*cleaning out my inbox.*

'who the fuck is lauren?'

peter spins around in his desk chair, his pen stops twirling in his fingers. 'lauren?' you feel your blood pressure boil, it's one thing to be commenting and liking everything she posts, it's another to pretend he doesn't know who you're talking about.

'lauren, you know, itslaurenpeters222' it clicks, peter's got a furrow between his brows, his mouth slightly opens with recollection. instead of answering, he follows up with a question.

'why?'

you're about to kill him, for a moment, you imagine stabbing his shoulder with his pen. you don't like the question, he wants to know what you know before he admits to anything.

'just answer the fucking question, parker. who's lauren?'

'i'll tell you who she is if you tell me why you're asking.'

wrong answer. you fly off the handle, you throw your phone at him, he catches it without blinking. her page is pulled up, each photo marked with a 'liked by its.parker and others.' in some, he's even got a comment or two showing.

it's nothing incriminating to the untrained eye, but you know fuckboys and this is how it starts.

'i'm not fucking around, parker. who the fuck is she?' again, he doesn't answer. 'it's not what you think, if that's what you're asking.' you feel your brain breaking, you claim gaslighting frequently, but this time you mean it.

'if i wanted to know if you were fucking her, i would've asked that. i need to know who she is because she's the only other girl you interact with.'

peter locks your phone and attempts to hand it back, you refuse to get close to him, he tosses it to the bed as a middle ground. 'she doesn't go to school here.'

you're at your breaking point and peter doesn't realize. you tone down your anger, you're speaking calm and softly, you need him to hear how close he is to losing everything.

'peter, i need you to look at me.' steady eye contact, it's like you're trying to read a brick wall. 'i swear on everything i own, i will walk out that fucking door and never come back unless you tell me who she is right now.'

peter's antsy, he heard you loud and clear, and now he's wavering on his options. you think he's about to call your bluff, you don't care, you're a thousand percent serious and if he lets this be the downfall, so be it.

you wait for two minutes, you counted to sixty twice and peter's still chewing on his bottom lip. you have your answer, you nod with disgust, you thought he was better than this.

peter got caught red handed. you honestly never took him for a cheater, peter's a lot of things but a cheater wasn't something you ever pegged him for. it's sickening how wrong you were.

you have nothing else to say to him, you snatch your phone from his bed and whip around for the door, the second your hand wraps around the doorknob, peter clears his throat.

'i had a friend in high school. a really, really good friend and he did something that hurt me. lauren is his little sister, she's two years younger than us and goes to rutgers. it never has been, and never will be, sexual. and i don't know why i still talk to her, all she does is remind me of her brother but i don't know, it's nice to know i'm still connected to their family a little, i guess, i don't know.'

your eyes narrow on his face, it seems like he's being authentic and honest. you don't bite, yet. 'and you couldn't just tell me that?'

'i don't like talking about him.'

'and that means...'

'it means that telling you who lauren is, opens up a new door of information about myself and you'll want to pick this apart and you're gonna get hurt when i shut down and tell you we're not going to talk about it. ever.'

peter's a softie around his friends, you assume this was a best friend, and if it was high school that means peter was still a nerd. meaning, it had to be bad.

'what did he do?'

peter crosses his arms over his chest, your question proves his point. he's blocking you out, he gave you all he was going to give, it's up to you if you decide if it's enough.

'peter, c'mon, you can't just dump all that on me and expect me not to-'

'yes, yes i can. i told you i wasn't going to explain it further. you wanted to know who she was, i told you, conversation over.' peter was right, it does hurt your feelings. he never wants to open up and it's frustrating beyond belief, but peter's taught you that slow and steady wins the race.

if you badger him about this, he'll shut you out indefinitely. if you slowly poke and draw out information over the course of a few weeks, you'd have the full story. more or less, you’ll attract a bear with honey.

'that's all she is? your old friend's little sister? there's never been anything more i need to be aware of? nothing?'

peter shakes his head, the one thing you believe, it's that there wasn't anything sexual. the thought has him look like it makes him sick to picture it.

'the last time i saw her in person she was fifteen, i promise there's nothing sexual. i don't even have her number, we interact on instagram, that's it. just likes and comments, no dm's or secret phone calls. promise.'

fine. it doesn't mean you like it.

'i don't like this. i don't appreciate you all over her page.' peter takes in your words, he's listening and while his tone is gentle, he's stubborn about the topic.

'i understand that, and i appreciate you telling me that, and coming to me about this, but i'm sorry, trouble, i'm not cutting her out. if you can't handle that, i understand. but if you do, we need to get this over with now, i don't need lauren resentment coming from you down the line.'

what he's saying without saying it, is that this isn't a bargaining chip and you can't hold it over his head. the topic of lauren dies tonight, and if you have a problem with that, you need to walk away.

you point at him, you're not nearly as hot headed as you were five minutes ago. 'i don't like this.' you feel like you haven't stated it enough.

'i understand. i'd have my own qualms if the situation was reversed.'

he brought it up first. 'and if it was reversed? how'd you react to this?'

'i'd be frustrated and have my own opinion, but i'd understand that this is a person you're not ready to let go of yet, and maybe one day you will be, but you can't be forced into it and you need to make that call when you know you're ready to move on.'

it's a shitty situation, at least peter knows it. you know it'll go nowhere but you can't imagine what could've happened that made him so clammed up.

'he really fucked you up, huh?' peter's hesitant to agree, he's terrified you'll use anything as a conversation starter. 'unrepairable.' no chance of fixing it, ever.

'you swear there's nothing going on?'

'i swear. i promise it on may. i promise it on the frat, on my relationship with you, on everything in me. there's nothing between us, i promise.'

you take a deep breath in, you're going to need more than a single conversation to think about it. it makes you insecure to the ninth degree, but you're confident he's telling the truth. to give peter some benefit, she's got a boy plastered all over her page dating back from two years ago to her third most recent post.

'okay. i believe you.'

'you do?' he sounds hopeful, he hopes this means you'll move on from it. 'i do. i don't like it, i don't support it, and i'll never support it, but i believe that you're not ready to let her go yet and there's nothing romantic or sexual about it.'

'and...' you can't believe you're giving the guy you're seeing a pass on another girl. 'lauren is the only exception. if i ever see you doing this with another girl, i'll stab your pen through your neck. are we good on that?'

peter hold his hand out, 'deal.'

you're allowing this to happen. this better prove how fucking trustworthy you are, if this blows back up in your face, you'll never make the same mistake twice. if peter lies, he'll fuck everything up for every guy after him.

you step up to meet his hold, your grip is tighter than his. 'deal.' 

[kairiscorner]

(reblogs are greatly appreciated, it helps get my content out there! if you guys like what you see, please reblog it too <:D)

i don't think miles has a lot to look forward to when school starts again, except maybe...

"man, if we aren't classmates this year, i am personally going over to the principal's office to persuade them to keep us in the same class." miles said as he lay down on your bed by your feet as your knees were pressed to your chest. you chuckled as you strew your legs out on his chest, with him huffing a little at the sudden weight. "hey..." he said as he gently moved your legs away fro his chest and sat up with his legs folded on your bed as you looked up at him. "why's that gonna be a problem? we were only classmates last year, that was already tons of fun." you said as you opened your phone and cast your gaze down upon it as you scrolled through it. "i've already accepted that possibility, we won't be classmates again--and it's fine, y'know, like..." you stopped talking when you realized there was nothing too fun about not being classmates with miles.

miles looked at you expectantly to say something positive about not being his classmate this year, and when you said nothing, he raised an eyebrow at you. "so... guess there's nothing you're looking forward to if we're not classmates, no?" he asked with a chuckle as you looked up from your phone and reciprocated his bright smile. you nodded slightly and shrugged a little. "i s'pose. i mean... wow. okay, i will admit that last year was my most favorite year of school. and that's surprising already, because i really hate it there." you admitted as miles listened to you with undivided attention as he took a pillow of yours and, while still looking at you intently, burrowed his nose and mouth on the pillow's plush surface as you talked. "then i guess... we're on the same page, then." he said as he rocked himself forward to you, still hugging your pillow.

"whaddya mean?" you asked him as he rocked himself back and forth, moving closer and closer to you the more he rocked. "well, i think you probably already know this because... you know, going on and on about personally appealing to the principal myself about making me your classmate next year if the universe decides we split up classes this time around... you'd know that i have a really soft spot for you." he said as he planted his chin on your pillow, slightly sinking into it with how soft it was. "you're the only one who makes me actually look forward to waking up every day, bearing all those... boring lessons, those really crowded lunch periods, and missing the bus home when i get lost in your--nevermind." he said when he noticed you were staring at your phone the whole time. you apologized and asked him to repeat it, but he told you it really wasn't anything to worry about. you'd find out soon enough, though, all that he meant to tell you.

tags !! @ii01vq @luvstarrstruck @maxoloqy @k4tsu3 @solecitoszn @toneystank-3000 @zalayni @q2ie @fictarian

[mxqdii]

you taught me - r.b

pairings: regulus black x reader

summary: her last relationship was so toxic that it effects her relationship with regulus. he teaches her what it's like to actually loved and cared for.

warning(s): mentions of abuse, mentions of toxic relationship, sad reader, fluff/comfort from regulus, slight panic attack.

not proofread

it's a typical day, i head to the library to find a good book.

as i walk in, i see regulus and a smile hits my face, we've been dating for a while now. it's still a secret, only evan and barty know, but we’re gonna tell others eventually.

i look around, seeing the empty library and hugging regulus from behind

"hi regs!" i smile and he turns around, eyebrow raised

"regs?" he questions with a teasing smile and my face drops

"sorry! i didn't even know i said that, i can stop if you want it was an accident i swear!" i ramble on and his expression changes again

he looks at me now in confusion

"what..?" i ask quietly

"i was joking love, it's okay." he says and i raise my eyebrows

"oh.. okay.." i noted with a smile

---

later that evening, me and regulus are still in the library, my legs over his as we sit on the couch.

a book in my hand as i flip the pages

my eyes light up as i read about it and regulus notices

"what's got you so happy?" he says and i smile, looking at him

"well, i've actually read this book like 10 times.. i just, i've always really really loved it, like so much. anyways its about thsi girl named lydia and she has like, nobody- anyways she moves to this new town and finds this boy- anyways! sorry i could talk about it for like hours, but i wont" i ramble on

his eyes watch me in astonishment while i talk, listening intently.

and even though he doesn’t know what i'm talking about, he doesn't care. he likes seeing the ways my eyes light up when im talking about something i'm passionate about

he likes seeing my cheeky smile when i'm explaining the characters

"keep talking, i'm listening" he says and i go wide eyed

nobody has ever said that to me before.

i almost feel tears fill my eyes as i look down and let out a smile, this feeling is so unfamiliar.

---

i'm sitting in my room distancing myself from my boyfriend, my friends, everyone.

i miss regulus, which is exactly why im distancing myself

sounds stupid, but i'd feel bad bothering him by asking to hangout, so i'm in here instead.

i could hangout with sirius, remus and james... but i'm just not up to it right now

suddenly theres a knock on the door

i open it seeing regulus, letting out a sigh of relief and gesturing him in.

"hey, where've you been all day, i haven't seen you at all" he says and i feel the guilt wash over me

"i know i'm really sorry i just felt... bad" i say, sitting on my bed

"about what my love?" he asks, sitting next to me.

"no it's nothing it's fine" i say smiling and he shakes his head

"tell me" he speaks softly and i melt at the tone

"i don't know i just missed you but i didn't wanna bother you so i came here instead, i don't know it's stupid i'm sorry" i say, avoiding eye contact the whole time

"what? baby you could've just asked to hangout i was free all day" he says with a sad chuckle

"oh.. sorry" i mumble

he moves closer to me tucking my hair behind my ear

regulus was never usually a soft person, but something about me made him melt, he'd never admit that though.

something about how gentle and fragile i was made him feel the need to be the most loving person i could have

and he knew something had happened, the way i always apologized and second guessed my words, the way i was careful around him, the way i put him before myself

i didn't need to act that way around him though, but he didn't know how to tell me that, so instead he just decided to show me, as much as he could.

without saying anything, he pulled me into a loving hug, a hug i've never gotten before

i let myself melt into his warmth, feeling nothing but comfort in this moment.

---

me regulus were told to meet sirius, remus and james in the gryffindor common room, which isn't unusual considering we all hangout all the time.

we walk in to be met with uncomfortable tension and silence

"jesus who pissed us off" i say sarcastically and they stay quiet

"come on guys, what?" regulus says

"tell me y/n, how long have you been fucking my brother" sirius shouts and my eyes widen

"sirius-" i try to explain but he doesn't let me

"i mean really? my brother? that's low y/n" he says and i feel my chest tighten at the yelling

"and you!- one of my best friends? really??" sirius says, speaking to regulus now.

"sirius it's not like that" i say, still in my normal tone.

"like hell it is!" he argued

"you don''t understand- we're-" before finishing my sentence, sirius interrupts again

"you're what? in love? i don't care what you are, i care about you two not fucking telling me. i had to find out through some random ravenclaw! and to top it off it's my brother and my best friend, yet i wasn't the first to know??? unbelievable." he shouts

i don't even notice the way i'm shaking, the way it's become hard to breathe.

i feel so aware of everything, just not myself.

"sirius-" remus trys to interrupt to stop him

"sirius stop" regulus shouts

they continue yelling at eachother until sirius walks towards me

i tense my body, preparing for something i know all too well.

"i expected more from you y/n, i would've expected you to tell me about this shit" he argues, his voice still raised and his tone still bitter

"sirius- calm down" i say, not knowing what else to do

"calm down!?" he shouts, raising his hands in exasperation

his hands, his voice, his tone.

it was too familiar, so i did what i know

i used my hands to protect myself, covering my face.

i fucking flinched.

the room falls silent, not a single whisper, even from sirius.

still in my hiding position, i realize what i just did, how i just reacted, i know sirius would never hit me.

fuck, i messed up.

my hands lower from my face and i slowly turn my head towards sirius, scared to see his reaction

i look up at him, tears overflowing in my eyes

i see his softened expression, the look in his eyes, the way he immediately stopped

"did- did you think i was gonna.. hit you?" he hesitates, asking gently, softly.

i look around, seeing everyone looking at me

it's the look on regulus's face that makes me crack.

i look back at sirius and just scoff, running out of the common room and to my dorm.

i lock the door and absolutely break down sobbing, finding it hard to breathe.

i'm curled up on the floor, arms wrapped around my knees, hiding my face in them.

suddenly i feel hands on me, gasping at the sudden touch, i look up seeing regulus's soft gaze on me.

"hey, hey, it's me you're okay, i'm here love" he says wrapping me into a hug.

he pulls me on his lap and i wrap my legs around his waist, causing him to stand up and sit us down on my bed

(sorry if that didn't make sense)

i nuzzle my head into his neck as he rubs my back

"let it out love, i'm here." he says and i try to find the words to speak.

i pull away from the hug slightly and he tucks a strand of hair behind my ear

"i- he-" i try to explain but my words are being taken from me, like i'm being forbidded

"i know love, it's okay, i've got you."

my words being taken from me frustrates me even more, causing me to just lean into him and continue sobbing

he embraces me again, stroking my hair and whispering reassuring sweet nothings into my ear.

because of him, my sobs slowly turn into cries, and my cries slowly turn into sniffing and tears running down my face.

it was a start.

i pull away from our embrace again, scared to speak

i can't look at him, i know if i do i might break, so i keep my gaze shifted on my fingers, picking the skin off of them, a nervous habit.

he grabs my hands to stop me from picking them

"you don't have to say anything or just in general talk about it, not if you don't want to" he says and i sigh

"you have a right to know" i say shakily.

"can you look at me, please?" he asks and i hesitate

"i- i'm a mess" i sniffle, embarrassed.

his finger trails up to my chin, using it to tilt my head up.

the sight of my tear stained cheeks and red puffy nose breaks his heart

his eye contact, the look on his face, made me break, as i suspected

i tilt my head back down, letting out silent cries

"tu es en sécurité avec moi, je ne laisserai rien t'arriver" he says

even though i can't understand it, just the sound of his voice makes me feel better.

he uses his hands to cup my cheeks, making me look up again

he uses his thumb to wipe my tears

something that makes my heart swell, something i'm not used to

i watch him, no sign of disgust or shame on his face, just love, pure love.

"why?" i ask, him shifting his gaze back to my eyes.

"why what?" he replies

"why do you do this for me? why are you so nice to me?"

his heart shatters into a million pieces, expression softening even more

if that's even possible

"because i love you, and you deserve to be loved. i wish you could see that" he says

"i didn't and still don't wanna push you, but i notice things, i'm an observer. i notice your apologies and how you always seem scared around me, not scared of me, scared of yourself and what you might say, what i might do to you if you say the wrong thing" he starts to speak

i look down again as he continues to talk

"i just want you to know that i'd never do anything to hurt you, ever. you'll always be safe with me, no matter what you've heard before. i'd die before hurting you, and it breaks me to see you like this love" he says and another tear falls down my cheek

"i said it before, you have a right to know." i say with a shaky breath

"my last relationship.. it- it changed me. the guy i dated, he would use me and manipulate me and treated me more as his bitch then his girlfriend. he would- get really mad if i said or did something wrong, something he didn't like or something that embarrassed him. and sometimes when things got heated... he'd.. hit me and stuff.. and i knew it was wrong but it's what he made me think i deserved. so ever since then i've always felt like that's what i deserve, which is why i don't really know why you treat me the way you do, it's just very unfamiliar." i explain

he watches me, listening intently the whole time.

"i don't think i know what love is.." i mumble, ashamed.

"i didn't, for a long time. but eventually.. someone taught me."

he says and i look up at him confused

he smiles, rolling his eyes when i don't get the hint

"you, y/n, you taught me love." he says and my eyes widen

"me? i- i don't even know how to love someone i-" i start speaking but he stops me

"it's what you're doing, what you've been doing, you just never realized it. this whole time you've shown me love, it was unfamiliar because it was new. that unfamiliar feeling you've felt around me, it's love" he says

i take a second to think about his words.

thinking back to the feeling in my stomach when he'd talk to me, the way my heart fluttered when we'd hold hands, the way i longed for him when he wasn't around.

holy shit, i love regulus black.

"you- you're right" i say, realization clear in my tone

"i- i think i love you" i say, looking up at him

he smiles "i love you too darling, always have"

in that moment i knew i'd be alright, i knew i could give regulus my heart and trust him not to break it.

in that moment i knew, he taught me how to love.

TAGLIST:

@stargirlv0id @strniolo @annaisabookworm

[gold-snek-hoe]

Hello and welcome to Opinions from an Internet Nobody. Today's essay:

"Ger therapy" is the new "You need Jesus": One Weirdo's Navigation through Cultural Shame

This is a supposedly well-meaning sentiment that is often weaponized against people who are behaving outside of perceived cultural norms. It's a favorite of homophobes who see queerness/transness as a mental illness, but I've been seeing it used to demonize kink (which historically is often linked to queerness), and more generally any "weird" behavior that makes people uncomfortable.

For example, otherkin, systems (especially those with fictives), and people who take fictional characters as partners. Y'know, "weirdos" who "can't separate reality from fiction." And, sure, sometimes there can be a problem with that distinction, but I know as well as you that most internet strangers saying "get therapy" don't actually give a shit about the mental health of those they target. It's code for "your behavior makes me uncomfortable, stop it."

Same sentiment as "you need Jesus."

This has actually taken me a long time to figure out. I've been in therapy for my entire adult life, working through various traumas, severe depression, anxiety, all that. Those were the biggest problems as they negatively impacted, and often endangered, my life. It was only after my hospitalization in 2020, where I was finally put on much needed medication, that I could start to grow into myself.

I changed my name. I top surgery. I came out as polyamorous. I finally got my official autism diagnosis. Now I'm fuckin' married! But... there are still things I'm working through in therapy. Mainly, shame over my "weirder" behaviors. My current therapist has been a huge blessing in helping me accept the things I was too ashamed to admit.

Now, I feel comfortable enough to share.

I'm otherkin. Always have been. My connection to my humanity is tenuous, and I'm sure that's connected to my autism. When mad, I feel phantom horns sprouting from my forehead. I have a tail that swishes back and forth at the base of my spine. In my soul, I am monstrous, and years of therapy has not erased that.

I feel like I'm only half in the physical world most of the time. This doesn't hinder my real-world success (I graduated college Summa Cum Laude, have an IMDB page, and am on my third book), but informs the way I look at the world. There's a whole other universe in my head that hums along with me in my day-to-day. That's part of why I'm so skilled as a writer. To ask me to divorce from that is to tell me to stop existing. Sorry, it's how I've always operated.

Lastly, and this is the one I'm really anxious about, I have a fictional husband. Now, looking at my blog, you might say "yeah, no shit," but I don't just ship myself with him. I mean I practice pop-culture Witchcraft, and the Goblin King is my patron. I mean I have a Labyrinth-themed tarot deck that I talk to him with. I mean I held a ritual to spiritually marry him. Basically, I Snape-wived myself.

And guess what? My therapist isn't concerned. It's not hurting my ability to live my life. I have other interests, hobbies, and goals outside of him, which he actively encourages in all our tarot sessions! I wouldn't be doing this if he didn't support me. My IRL spouse is usually there for whatever magical shit I'm doing, and supports me! Some of my closest friends know, and the only complaint I've gotten is "this guy seems important to you, I wish you told me sooner." Hell, my MOTHER knows and supports me, which is huge, because our relationship was pretty damaged after I came out as trans.

If you have a problem with the way I live my life, when literally nobody else does, take a good long look at why. You don't give a fuck about my mental health. You just don't like that I'm weird.

Tl;dr: My mental health is better than it's ever been since embracing the weird, so leave me and my imaginary husband Marak Sixfinger alone.

[mrs-kmikaelson]

01| The Tribrid

Pairing: Klaus Mikaelson x daughter!reader, Marcel Gerard x reader (platonic) Summary: While you're away on an impromptu break, Marcel comes to try and get you to come back to help him face the Mikaelsons who just so happen to be your long lost family (but no else knows that). Warnings: none Words: 3.2K

Masterlist | Part 2

a/n: i guess this kinda fits in with season one, but it's more of an AU than anything. so, it has elements of the s1 plot, like the marcel and klaus feud, the hope plot, but the villains from s1 won't really be present. like i said, AU. but without further adieu, on we go.

New Orleans was a land of plastic beads and festivals for days–a tourist attraction, which basically meant a blood bank. I knew what lurked in the shadows, what whispered through the grapevine behind the music, but Originals... I didn't know they were back.

Word travels fast around the Quarter, but I haven't been there; I was in Mystic Falls, too busy following up on a lead about the Mikaelsons to even realize that they were at the place I started, my home. 

Marcel wouldn't stop talking about it. As soon as I got back, I was flooded with information and, as soon as I got back, I could hear the whispers from a mile away. Most reactions to the arrival of such a family were scared, livid, shocked, but I was none of the above.

I didn't have a thing to say back to Marcel, not a thing to say to the people who were suddenly confusing me with Rebekah Mikaelson. I didn't have an inch of emotion about it, not surprise, not fear. I mean, how could anyone be surprised? How could I be surprised, scared?

How could I be surprised by my own family?

"Klaus needs to learn his place." I internally rolled my eyes at Marcel's, basically, monologue, continuing to sift through pages of the magazine in my hands. "He's outta line." 

Klaus Mikaelson was always out of line– he had no line, no boundaries. He was Klaus Mikaelson and that was the only line there was, but I didn't say that. When Marcel was having one of his tantrums, I learned to just listen to him; interrupting or putting my own two cents in just made the conversation longer and I only wanted it to end. 

"He thinks he can just kick me out of the Quarter, out of my home, the bastard. Who does he think he is?" Rhetorical question, I had to remind myself, holding my tongue. The former king of New Orleans was sitting across from me at a coffee shop in New York. A coffee shop.

He was calling this his 'vacation' but we both knew that the only reason he was here was because boss man told him to leave. Honestly, I don't know why I'm here. I'm supposed to be in a university class, but it doesn't really matter if I can just compel the grade, right?

I was doing psych this time; Cami's always saying all these things to me about how she thinks my brain works and I honestly want to learn how it does. Saying I have a PhD might actually get me a significant other, but, knowing myself, the whole triangle of creatures thing might freak them out. 

At least I haven't gone as low as Marcel.

"Y'know, just because that ass is an Original doesn't mean he's suddenly the shit." 

This time, I didn't bother trying to hide the roll of my eyes, continuing to flip through my magazine as I responded. "Uh... it kinda does." I could feel his glare on my forehead as my eyes widened at Kim K's ass. Not even being a Vampire gives you that- "And, Marcel, I don't know if you've realized it yet, but he isn't just an Original."

I looked up at him for the first time since his rant started and gave him a pointed look. Sometimes, he didn't think with his head. 

Marcel shrugged like he was saying, 'so what' silently. "Tyler what's-his-name is a hybrid, too."

I raised a brow at him. "A hybrid turned by Klaus, and wasn't he the guy who tried to kill Klaus' wife or whatever, inadvertently but intentionally trying to kill himself, and then failed?" 

"Not the point, Y/N/N." The fuck it isn't- "The point is that the man is such a dick because his is so small." Gross. Didn't need to hear that.

"Didn't he adopt you or something?"

"Is that all you're getting from what I'm saying?"

I made a face at him, putting my magazine down on the table. "Can I be honest and say I don't get anything from this conversation?"

He deadpanned, "You're annoying."

"Glad you're just now figuring that out, Cellie." I got up from my seat, patting him on his back. "Please, though, go have this talk with Camille instead."

I started walking away, but Marcel only got up and began following me out, making me hold in a groan. God, men, they can never take a damn hint.

"Hey, where you headed?" He asked, but he dismissed his own question just as quick as I would've. "And aren't you supposed to talk to me and help me figure out my problems? You're studying psych, aren't you?"

I scoffed, "Yeah, people usually pay for a psychiatrist to talk to them." Honestly, I don't know why Marcel was here. With a God complex like his, you'd expect him to stay and, y'know, get himself killed. It's not like him to use his brain so suddenly.

He could've gone to damn Vegas, maybe LA, but he just has to come to where I am, right after I leave. He's getting a break from his 'Kingly' duties; Klaus is taking that off his hands, so why isn't he enjoying it and taking an actual vacation instead of visiting me and calling it a holiday? I'm not the Eiffel Tower, for Pete's sake.

It's a power struggle. People like him, came from the bottom and wanted nothing more than to be at the top, fighting against people like Originals, who had been where my friend wanted to be since the beginning of time. 

Marcel didn't want to admit he was playing a losing game.

"You telling me to go home, Y/L/N?"

I rolled my eyes. What gave it away? "Precisely, Gerard."

I was just about to make it to my car when Marcel sped in front of me. I looked up at the sky and pinched my eyes. God, he was insufferable. Honestly, it shouldn't have surprised me that he came all this way just to bitch. But what he said next did surprise me.

"Come back with me, then."

My eyes snapped open and I stared at him incredulously. What the fuck.

I rubbed my eyes to make sure I wasn't hallucinating and Cellie slapped my arm. "C'mon, Y/N/N. It'll be funnnnnnnnn." The way he dragged out the word did not convince me in the slightest.

I got over my shock and voiced my thoughts. "You want me to come back because you think drama with the Mikaelsons is- fun?"

He was quick with his response. "It could be." He then snorted. "Hell, I'd love to see Klaus' reaction to a girl like you, stronger than him-" I cut him off with my magic, his lips slamming shut immediately. It was only a temporary thing, just stops a person from speaking for a second, so he'd be able to continue right after, but he got the point and shut up.

I've known Marcel for close to fifty years. Met him in the seventies. He tried to kill me and I knocked him off his feet with a classic telekinesis spell. Since then, he's known about who I am and he's also decided that he's better off having me on his team. Whatever the hell that means.

I usually like to keep the whole tribrid thing under wraps, hence why I got Marcel to stop talking.

I gave him a look. "Klaus wouldn't have any reaction what I am, because he wouldn't know." Apparently, my gaze conveyed my message well enough because Marcel raised his hands in surrender. 

"Okay, okay," he conceded. "No one's gotta know. But you should come back anyway."

I can't say I haven't thought about it. I know I can't stay out in New York forever. 

I rolled my eyes. I can't believe I'm actually giving thought to something Marcel says. "Okay, gimme time and I'll think about it."

He grinned and pointed finger guns at me, walking backwards away from me. "Think it over and we'll talk about it tomorrow." He turned around and walked away with a kick in his step before he disappeared completely, moving too fast for the human eye to detect.

I sighed and shook my head, the smallest of smiles growing on my face. Ah, Marcel. 

I pulled out my keys, walking to my car and thinking about what he asked. 

It's sorta odd, I suppose. Considering how long I've been watching the Mikaelsons, you'd think I'd be the first one there in New Orleans, keeping tabs on them, but the only way I knew about their escapades was from Marcel who told me voluntarily.

That was one thing he didn't know about me; no one did. No one knew about my connection to the Mikaelsons, not even the Mikaelsons themselves, which is partially why I don't wanna go back to NOLA just yet.

My apartment's in the Quarter, way too close to the Abbatoir and, according to Marcel, that's now Original HQ. It's too risky, my rational side said.

Yet, the other part of me that spent almost my entire life tracking them, being infatuated with them, thinks that being so close to them would be favourable. 

And, like most times, the irrational part of my brain wins the battle in decision-making.

Fuck. Marcel's gonna have to buy me a lot of alcohol for this one.

Walking through the quarter again is like that human expression 'like riding a bike.' I've obviously never ridden a bike, but I get what the expression is meant to say. It's referring to doing something that comes naturally to you.

That's what this is.

Marcel is beside me as we walk past both all the tourists and locals. It's easy to tell the difference between the two. I compelled movers earlier to unload all my stuff back into my apartment so I have nothing to worry about other than getting reacquainted with my city.

The path we took eventually led us to Rousseau's and as soon as we entered my eyes scanned the bar for Cami, who I know for a fact Marcel is obsessed with. But she's way too good for him.

I went and sat down at the bar and waited for her to come our way. She wasn't paying much attention when she came over, wiping down some glasses. "Hey, what can I getcha?"

"The usual." Her head shot up when she heard me and a smile broke out on her face. "Y/N/N?" She put down what she was holding and came around the counter, embracing me in a hug. "Oh my God, I thought you were gonna be stuck in the big apple for a while still."

I chuckled. "Yeah, well Marcel happened to- no, nevermind, Marcel just happened." She let out a laugh and went back around the counter, greeting Marcel and getting to work on our drinks.

"Well, I'm glad you're back," she said.

Marcel inserted himself into the conversation and I tuned them out after that, letting the two of them flirt. Cami probably didn't define it as flirting, but she definitely was.

I think she liked Marcel, but she was in denial about it. I get why though. She didn't wanna fall for a guy that was bad news and she had doubts about him, reasonable doubts.

But beyond the vampirism and ego, I knew Marcel would treat her right. That's why I got up from my seat straight after downing my drink, catching their attention. 

"Hey, I'm gonna head out, It's getting late anyways and I still have to unpack." Marcel rose a brow at me, knowing I didn't have to unpack shit, but he should be grateful. I'm basically cupid and I'm shooting them both right now.

Cami gave a little sigh. "You just got here, though-"

"I'll be back tomorrow morning, promise!" I smiled at her for emphasis and she untensed and reciprocated the action.

"Okay, I'll see you tomorrow then." Her and Cellie both waved bye to me and I walked out the door. God, I was just itching to get out of there. The tension between them was suffocating me. 

I put my hands into my pockets and glanced at the sky that had darkened significantly from when Marcel and I entered the bar. I guess we were there for longer than I thought.

There weren't really any tourists left walking around, only a few people that actually lived in the area. No vampires were allowed to fuck with the locals and, besides, most of the locals were witches, anyways. 

Even humans like Cami should be safe walking through the Quarter at night, but even then, if you didn't know about the supernatural while living in NOLA then you were in a whole other kind of danger. Knowledge is power.

Even if you were a witch, that was still risky. And if you were a werewolf, then forget it. Vampires were the only people without fear nowadays, it seemed.

Luckily, or unfortunately, I was all three creatures. 

"Back off," My ears picked up the sound of a girl growling. My eyes hadn't found her yet, but my nose worked faster. Werewolf.

Whoever she was talking to seemed to have that ability as well and murmured, "You're a werewolf." He was shaken but then he laughed, "Oh, I'm gonna have fun with you." Vampire.

Damnit, my first day back in the Quarter and, already, I'm dealing with the remnants of drama caused by Marcel. I sighed, thinking it's none of my damn business. But I could hear the sound of that girl's heart pitter pattering and I knew I couldn't just ignore it.

Motherfucker.  

I rolled my eyes and strained my ears a little more to guide me to where they were, my senses leading me to an alleyway where the wolf girl and the vampire stood. His back was facing me so he couldn't see me, but the girl caught my gaze and her eyes widened.

The vampire's head cocked. "What are you looking at?" Just as he turned to face me, I ran up to him and snapped his neck. His body fell to the floor with an ungraceful thump and I pushed a lock of hair away from my face, looking up to the girl who wore an expression of shock.

I had a sarcastic comment in my head that I felt like saying, but honestly, I just wanted to go home so I pushed it to the side and gave her a serious look. "You shouldn't walk all alone in the Quarter at night. It can be dangerous."

She shook off her surprise and stood taller, scoffing, "I can handle myself." Oh, for sure, I thought. This time, I was gonna speak my thoughts, but a heartbeat caught me by surprise. I held back a stagger and looked down to her stomach where the little thumping was coming from. 

A pregnant werewolf.

My stare remained on her stomach as I cautioned, "You really shouldn't be out in the Quarter on your own. Especially if you're pregnant." I looked back up to her when her arms quickly wrapped themselves around her stomach. 

She was a little more reserved now, stepping away from me a little and saying, "Trust me, I've got people looking out for me."

I snorted. "And where are they?"

She didn't reply, instead she only wrapped her arms around herself tighter. I get it; werewolves oughta be careful with vampires in this city and she thinks I'm a vampire- or just a vampire, rather. She pulled her phone out of her pocket and waved it. "I'll call the baby's father now and he'll come get me." She kept staring at me for a few more seconds before adding, "So thank you, really, but I'll be fine now." Translation: please go away. 

I nodded at her and turned around as she began dialling. I wanted to get home anyway and I didn't need to stick around to see any baby daddy drama. Since that girl was a werewolf, baby daddy was probably some form of supernatural and therefore huge ego. Entertaining, but could get annoying.

I continued back on the route to my apartment per usual, passing by a few people and a few other neighbours I waved to. I knew all the locals, and I know for a fact girl doesn't live in the Quarter for two reasons. One, I don't know her, and two, werewolves aren't exactly welcome in the Quarter.

Of course, I'm a werewolf too, but no one knows that.

Knowing that werewolves aren't welcome here makes me wonder if she knew that, makes me wonder why she's here in the first place but as soon as my mind starts wandering, I steer myself back, reminding myself it really is none of my business. 

I'll probably never see her again, anyway.

Sooner than not, I make it to my townhouse. Just before I'm about to go up the steps to the door, I stop and turn to the side, staring out at all the other houses and little shops. If I walked a little further, I'd make it to the compound that was no longer Marcel's territory.

If I walked a little further, the Mikaelsons would be right there. And should they ever walk this way, they might just see me.

I shook my head and walked up the steps, opening my door. 

The Mikaelsons are a problem for another day. Right now, I'm going to bed.

When I wake up the next day, it's noon and someone is calling me. I picked up the phone without checking the caller ID, knowing who it was anyway. "Yes, Marcel?" I rubbed my eyes with the back of my hand and turned over so the sun wasn't fucking my eyeballs.

"Ooh, you sound happy to hear my voice."

"Just elated, Cellie." I stuck my head into my pillow and grumbled, "Elated."

Marcel snickered. "Well, good because we have a party to go to."

My head moves up from the pillow. "What?" Marcel threw parties all the time, but since he lost his power, he didn't have anywhere to throw one.

"It's a Mikaelson bash." My breath got caught in my throat at the mention of the name, but Marel didn't notice, continuing on with bitterness in his voice. "It's to show the city who's in charge now."

I quickly got over the Mikaelson name drop like usual and probed, "But aren't you supposed to be banished from the Quarter?" I got out of bed and walked to the bathroom. "Going to that thing just sounds like a recipe for disaster."

"Sure, you could view it like that, but Klaus won't try anything while we're there."

"And why's that?"

"Because the party's supposed to be a symbol for peace, too. We'll be fine. Plus, I need a date."

I held back a snort. "What, Cami's busy?"

"She's working the bar tonight," he replied. "So you've gotta come with me."

I felt a sigh coming on. For fuck's sake, I just got back. I wasn't expecting this to happen yet.

I was gonna contemplate for a while longer but Marcel didn't give me that time. Instead, he just quickly told me he'd be picking me up at 8 and hung on me, making me gasp.

Son of a bitch.

[livingdreams97]

Eloise Bridgerton - "The Prince" (Part 4)

Eloise Bridgerton x Male reader/oc

Summary: Two people who have never seen each other before, with the same need and desire to be free in different ways. What could come of that when both people meet each other?

Words: 4.581

PREVIOUS

Masterlist

Eloise's POV

A couple of hours ago my family arrived at Aubrey Hall and my youngest silings were running around the place like wild animals. My brothers have disappeared and Daphne is with mother, Lady Danbury, Kate and Edwina talking about the season somewhere around the house.

Which left me alone, sitting on an outdoor chair in the mansion's back garden and somewhat bored.

I did not want to participate in the conversation with my sister, mother and others; since the subject does not really interest me. I'd rather be with my brothers, but as soon as we set foot in Aubrey Hall two hours ago they disappeared and have shown no sign of life.

And I'm not going to be running all over the place, like Gregory and Hyacinth were doing.

I just pray that something interesting happens and it can keep me busy at least for a while. Because if this goes on like this, I'll end up cutting myself with the pages of my books and falling apart in the living room floor.

Apparently my prayers are answered, when one of the butlers appears and speaks to me.

XY: Miss Bridgerton, Prince Y/n of Hannover has just arrived and is waiting for you in the hall.- he informed me and I practically jumped out of my seat.

Eloise: That's great. - I comment happily and walking quickly towards the entrance of the mansion.

XY: If you don't need anything else, we'll take the prince's objects to his room assigned by Lady Bridgerton.- he comments when we reach the hall.

Eloise: We don't need anything else, thank you.- I thank him and after a slight bow he takes Y/n's luggage along with another man. -I thought you were never going to get there.- I say amused, crossing my arms and looking at the prince.

Y/n: I had a slight setback.- He informed me without much detail.

Eloise: What kind of setback? - I ask curiously, seeing the amusement in his eyes.

Y/n: One that doesn't concern you.- he answers me with grace and I just look at him badly. -Now, will you grant me the wish to give me a guided tour of the mansion or do I have to ask someone from the service?- he asks amused, raising an eyebrow and looking me straight in the eye.

Eloise: Ask someone from the service.- I answer challengingly, looking for a fun and entertaining reaction from him.

Y/n: I'll do that then.- he assures, leaning over and trying to walk towards the stairs.

Eloise: Where do you think you're going? - I ask amused running towards him and grabbing his arm to stop him.

Y/n: To ask if someone offers to give me a guided tour, since a certain Bridgerton doesn't want to and I don't want to get lost in the place.- he answers humorously and I look at him with narrowed eyes.

Eloise: Idiot.- I muttered hitting his arm. -Now follow me.- I order him and start walking towards the main hall.

I don't turn to see if he's following me or not, but I can hear his hurried footsteps and I smile helplessly, not knowing the reason for said smile.

POV Y/n

I don't know when I went from receiving a tour of the mansion to being in the huge back garden playing pall mall, but here I am now.

Daphne: We all know how the pall mall works.- she assures everyone present. - The first to choose the deck and strike first will be our guest Y/n.- she points to me with her hand and I look at her surprised.

Y/n: I guess thanks.- I appreciate it. -Which one does Eloise usually choose?- I asked Benedict in a whisper quickly.

Benedict: Yellow.- he whispers back to me with his hand in front of his mouth so that no one notices.

I nod surreptitiously and walk over to where all the decks are. I look at each deck and once my eyes land on the yellow one, I reach out without hesitation.

As my fingers wrap around the wood, I look up, meeting Eloise's blue gaze. I smile wickedly as I raised the mallet and I see the scowl on her face.

Y/n: Yellow is my favorite color. - I lie with a smile without taking my eyes off Eloise's.

The rest practically fight over the rest of the decks, before we start the game and the fights between the brothers are present.

Benedict: Eloise don't cheat.- he accuses his sister, who is moving her ball subtly and secretly with her foot.

Y/n: So besides being clumsy at dancing, you're a cheater at the game. - I whisper leaning towards her, so that only she can hear me.

Eloise: Shut up.- she growls at me pushing my chest with her hand.

Colin: Observe and learn people.- he says, positioning himself and hitting the ball with his mallet, but it doesn't go through the hoop.

Anthony: Sorry, what were you saying?- he asks his brother with an amused smile.

Kate: Don't you laugh so much.- she tells her husband, causing a bad face in him and laughter in the rest.

Daphne: None of you should laugh.- she assures everyone, preparing to her his ball with the mallet. -Because I plan to win as always.- she says confidently, hitting the ball and getting it through the hoop.

Benedict: Hey, I'm still in the game.- he reminds his sister with an amused smile.

Eloise: And me.- she assures them placing herself in the middle of everyone. -This year I plan to win.- she tells us all with confidence and I can't help but smile at her confidence.

We continue playing for a while longer, until the game ends and I end up winning to the surprise of everyone present. Although there is no surprise on my part, since I am a very good player and I am passionate about sports.

Y/n: And how about your victory Eloise? - I ask her amused while we all have dinner together.

Eloise: Very funny.- she says sarcastically looking at me with narrowed eyes. -But I know you cheated.- she threatens me seriously.

Y/n: And can you explain to me what cheating are you accusing me of? - I ask her amused, taking a sip of my wine.

Elosie: I don't know, yet.- she answered thoughtfully. -But I'm going to find out how you cheated to win and take away my victory.- she asures me and I just smile delighted.

Y/n: I'll be waiting then.- I assure her with a friendly smile.

The rest of dinner is spent talking to Benedict and Colin about minor trivia. We also make sure to taunt Eloise a bit, loud enough for her to hear us so we can tease her a bit.

When dinner is over, I sneak up to Lady Bridgerton and ask to speak to her in private. We entered the main library of the mansion and we both took a seat in the armchairs of the room.

Violet: And tell me my Lord, what is the reason for this conversation? - she asks me with evident interest.

Y/n: I wanted to talk about a serious and more important topic with you.- I answer trying to hide my nervousness.

Violet: Well, you will say.- she nods giving me the floor.

Y/n: As you may have noticed, I've been spending a lot of time with your daughter and it's clear that we've become somewhat close.- I start seeing how she nods with a small smile. -And I don't want to disrespect you or your family at any time.- I say trying to think of how to explain myself.

Violet: And you haven't.- she assures me with a friendly smile.

Y/n: I'm glad to hear that.- I nod with a nervous smile. -That's why I wanted to talk to you first, because you are Eloise's mother and it seemed the most appropriate thing to do in this situation.- I took a deep breath to calm my nerves. -I wanted to ask for your daughter's hand in marriage.- I ask directly.

Violet: Oh my god! - she exclaims in surprise, covering her mouth with her hand.

The room remains completely silent for a few moments, where I play with my hands as a sign of nervousness and uncertainty about the response of the woman in front of me.

Y/n: So what do you say? - I ask her a bit uncomfortable by the silence.

Violet: Of course I'll give you my daughter's hand.- she nods energetically. -As long as Eloise agrees to the proposition, I have nothing against it.- she confirms and I can't help but release the air retained inside me.

Y/n: I'm glad to know that your answer is positive. - I smile letting the retained nerves dissipate from my body.

Now I just have to propose to Eloise publicly and organize the wedding. Since thanks to our agreement, I know that Eloise will agree to marry me and there will be no problem with that part.

Violet: And you already have chosen the ring? - She asks me interested, leaning forward in a show of interest.

Y/n: Yes.- I nod, taking the black velvet box out of my pocket. -What do you think?- I ask, opening the box and showing her the object inside.

Violet: Oh my god, it's so precious.- she whispers, taking the small box in her hands and looking at the ring in greater detail.

Y/n: My aunt gave it to me to propose to your daughter.- I comment, seeing the surprise in her eyes.

Violet: Has the queen chosen the ring for my daughter?- she asks surprised.

Y/n: More than that.- I commented with a slight smile. -That ring was one of the first that my uncle, the King, gave to my aunt many years ago. The emerald is my aunt's favorite stone and she thought that the ring had a deep meaning, so it would be the perfect ring for my future wife. - I tell her and I can see a different shine in her eyes.

Violet: And she's right. Rings with meaning are more unique than any recently bought. - she nods, giving me back the box with the ring.

Y/n: So with your permission, tomorrow I'll ask Eloise for her hand. - I nod, putting the velvet box back in my jacket pocket.

Violet: I just hope my daughter says yes, because it would be a pleasure to have you as part of the family.- she tells me and we both get up, ending the conversation.

We left the library, saying goodnight and parting ways. I head towards the bedroom assigned to me and on the way I meet Eloise with her little sister.

In order not to arouse any kind of suspicion, I wish them both a good night and secretly nod to my future fiancée.

I can see her eyes widen slightly as she realizes what my nod means and she gives me a slight nod letting me know she's understood.

Now I just have to think about how to ask for her hand tomorrow and do it in a way so that her family believes that we are really in love. But with how good of an actress Eloise is, I'm sure everyone will believe us right away without any problem.

Eloise's POV

I'm nervous. Why am I nervous? This is simply a trade and there is no reason to be nervous.

I just have to say a simple yes and the rest of my life will be taken care of. I will be completely free and I will stop feeling any kind of pressure to get married or find a husband. It is a simple word that will open all doors for me.

This is a simple transaction, there are no feelings involved and that's why I don't understand the reason for my nerves.

My hands tremble as they caress the soft fabric of my white dress, feeling the softness and delicacy of silk.

Violet: You look beautiful honey.- she whispers looking at my reflection in the mirror over my shoulder.

Eloise: I'm not going out. - I deny energetically.

Violet: And why is that dear? - she asks me interested with a smile on her face.

Eloise: I don't know if I'm ready to get married.- I answer, feeling my heart beat faster.

Violet: Oh dear.- she sighs placing her hands on my arms. -It's the nerves that are speaking.- she assures me caressing my arms with affection.

Eloise: Why would I be nervous? - I ask confused, feeling a certain amount of comfort from her touch.

Violet: Because it's one of the most important days for a woman, darling.- she answers with an understanding look. -The day of my wedding with your father, I was trembling with nerves and anticipation. It is understandable to feel nervous on your wedding day and especially when you love the person you will marry.- she tries to comfort me and I avoid opening my eyes for the last part.

Eloise: How did you know you loved father? - I ask a little scared by her answer.

Violet: I wouldn't know how to explain it.- she sighs with a slight grimace. -What I do know is that every time I thought of him, a smile appeared on my face without even noticing it, my stomach turned when he was near me, my skin quivered every time he touched my hand and every time that I was doing something i liked; immediately I wanted to share it with him.- she tells me and I remain thoughtful.

I think about the times when a smile adorned my face when I thought of Y/n, about how being with him makes me enjoy someone else's company and the long talks we have.

I think about how an essential warmth invades my body when he is near me, when he smiles at me or when he brings me books thinking that I might like them.

I find that every time I read a new book, I think about whether he would like to read it so we can discuss it together.

Finally, I am aware of how in the few times he has touched my hand and kissed it, my body reacts to his touch. I can remember the pleasant tingling that runs through my body at his touch and it is now when I open my eyes in surprise.

Eloise: I love Y/n.- I murmured without really knowing what to do.

I feel my mind go around and around without really knowing how it happened. At what point have I gone from supporting Y/n, accepting his proposal and maintaining a friendly relationship, to loving him.

Violet: Why else would you have agreed to marry him?- she asks with a certain degree of amusement in her tone of voice.

Eloise: I have to talk to Y/n.- I say alarmed.

Violet: You'll see him at the altar in a few minutes and then you can talk to him all you want.- she assures me with a smile.

Eloise: No mom .- I deny turning around and looking around upset. -I need to talk to him now!- I assured him in a hurry trying to dodge her and go looking for him.

Violet: No, no, no.- she denies grabbing my arm and preventing me from leaving the room. -The groom can't see the bride before the wedding.- she immediately denies.

Eloise: You don't understand mom, I have to talk to him.- I beg desperately and a few seconds away from a desperate cry.

Violet: Honey, calm down.- she asks me, caressing my arms again. -Take a deep breath and inhale slowly.- she orders me and I nod trying to regulate my breathing.

Once I am calmer, my mother takes me to the sofa in one of the many rooms in the palace and makes me sit down.

Violet: Are you feeling better?- she asks me and I nod, taking a deep breath once more.

Eloise: Yes.- I murmur directing my gaze to my hands, which are still trembling and apparently my mother notices as she places her hands on mine.

Violet: You don't have to get upset darling, everything will be fine and you don't have to get so nervous.- she assures me. -You're just nervous, just breathe and try to relax.- she tells me and I nod trying to stop my hands from shaking.

We stay in silence for a few minutes, where I manage to calm down enough so that my hands stop shaking.

Some light knocks are heard at the door of the room and Benedict's head appears through it.

Benedict: Everything is ready.- he tells us entering the room. -They are waiting for the bride.- he says with a smile and I take a deep breath.

Violet: Are you ready? - she asks me and I am only able to nod. -Well then, let's get going.- she says getting up from the sofa and helping me to get up too.

I walk to where my brother is, who immediately smiles at me and gives me his arm to intertwine with mine.

With each step I take toward the ceremony room, my heart pounding in my ears and my breathing becoming heavy. I swallow heavily, when my brother stops in front of the closed living room doors and looks at me for approval.

I stay for a few moments watching the big white doors of the room, as soon as they open everything will be real and I'll be walking towards my future husband.

I don't know what to do.

If I go through with the plan and say yes, I'll be marrying the man I love. But he doesn't love me and it doesn't seem fair.

And on the other hand, if I decide to run away and leave the plan behind, everyone will start talking about me and my family again. My family has already suffered a lot with the rumors and above all thanks to me.

Plus it wouldn't be the first time a Bridgerton wedding has been called off and we all know how that ended.

But that is not the worst.

The worst thing is that this time the queen is not only the hostess of the wedding, but she is the aunt of the future husband and that will cause me to be banished from London.

Because what Lady Whistledown wrote about me being a political radical turned her against me and made her have a bad opinion of me. I don't want to imagine the opinion she'll have of me if I leave her heir standing at the altar.

Benedict: Are you okay? - he asks me in a whisper taking me out of my thoughts.

Eloise: I don't know.- I answer honestly.

Benedict: It's not too late, you know right? - he asks me causing me to look at him confused.

Eloise: Late for what? - I ask wanting to understand what my brother tells me.

Benedict: Too late to cancel the wedding.- he answers me with a comforting smile. -Just tell me and we'll run away like no one has ever done before.- he assures me with a small laugh.

I watch him for a few seconds, considering the offer and weighing every possible outcome of my escape. The idea sounds tempting and I'm sure Benedict will defend me and help with everything.

You're POV

I swallow heavily, running my hands through my morning coat and wiping the sweat from my hands. I watch the guests talk to each other in whispers, causing my nervousness to increase and a knot to form in my stomach.

Lady Bridgerton has entered the room almost ten minutes ago, but she has entered alone and no one has entered after her.

She's supposed to be with Eloise, to help her get ready and her presence here assures me that Eloise is ready. But it doesn't show up anywhere, because she is nowhere to be seen.

I look over to where my aunt is sitting for comfort, seeing the impatience and worried look on her face. She seems to notice my look, as she offers me a small smile and a reassuring nod.

But I can't calm down when I feel hundreds of eyes on me and I can hear the murmurs of those present.

My gaze then falls on where the Bridgertons are sitting, muttering and talking a little erratically to each other. That alarms me even more.

What if Eloise regrets the deal and backs out? What if she leaves me standing at the altar?

That would explain the lateness and the stressed look on the face of the Bridgertons family matriarch. Maybe she already knows and is telling the rest of the family.

My breath stops when the doors of the room open and one of my aunt's waiters enters the room.

XY: Miss Eloise Bridgerton by the hands of Mr. Benedict Bridgerton.- he announces and I can feel myself breathing again.

But as soon as I start to breathe, the air gets stuck in my throat and it's because of something else entirely.

My mind goes completely blank as I see Eloise in her wedding dress with her hair up in a high bun. The light that enters through the windows of the room illuminates her dress and she looks like a complete angel.

The train of the dress trails gently across the floor, as does her veil, which rests just in front of the updo on her head and at the beginning of the train of her dress.

I'm not aware of the moment when Eloise has reached my side and Benedict offers me her hand. I'm only aware when my soon-to-be wife's brother clears his throat and the noise snaps me out of my reverie.

Y/n: Sorry.- I whisper embarrassed, feeling the heat flood my cheeks and receiving my fiancée's hand.

Benedict: Take care of her.- he threatens me seriously, before walking away and sitting with the rest of the family.

Priest: We are gathered here to celebrate the union between Prince Y/n of Hannover and Miss Eloise Bridgerton.- he begins to speak, but I only observe Eloise's profile and try to be as discrete as possible. -Love is something... ... ... ....- He speaks but I ignore him, looking only at the woman to my left. -Now I want you to repeat with me, you first prince. With this ring, I take you Eloise Bridgerton as my wife, to love you and take care of you in sickness and in health, in riches and in poverty until death do us part.- he says and I look at the priest paying attention to him again .

Y/n: With this ring, I take you Eloise Bridgerton as my wife, to love you and take care of you in sickness and in health, in riches and in poverty until death do us part.- I recite while staring at her eyes, receiving the ring from the priest and placing it on her finger.

Priest: Now your tourn Miss Bridgerton.- he says, offering her the other ring and I can see how she takes it with a trembling hand.

Eloise: With this ring, I take you Y/n from Hannover as my husband, to love you and take care of you in sickness and in health, in riches and in poverty until death do us part.- she says nervously and shakily placing the ring on my finger.

Priest: With this exchange of rings, this marriage unites and will be consolidated with a kiss.- he says and I look nervously at the woman in front of me. -You can kiss each other.- he tells us.

I take a deep breath, before taking a step forward closing my eyes and leaning down feeling the erratic beating of my heart.

For a moment, my heart stops completely when my lips make contact with hers, and I can feel her breathing stop.

As we break from the kiss, I open my eyes to look at my now wife and see that she's still keeping them closed. I smile at the image and when she opens her eyes, she immediately smiles back at me.

I extend my hand to her, which she immediately entwines with hers and I direct her towards the large backyard where the celebration will take place.

Eloise: I have to talk to you.- she whispers so that only I can hear heron our walk outside.

Y/n: Bad or good? - I ask confused, smiling at the guests.

Eloise: It depends.- she answers me, doing the same action as me.

Y/n: Okay.- I nod almost imperceptibly.

But as soon as we set foot in the garden, people come to greet us and congratulate us on the wedding. Every time we try to get away so we can talk, someone steps up and stops that from happening.

But I take advantage of a moment when everyone is watching the fireworks, to grab Eloise by the hand and pull her behind some tall hedges a bit away from the crowd.

Y/n: What did you wanted to talk about? - I ask her in a whisper, not wanting to speak too loud and be heard.

Eloise: It's about the agreement.- she whispers, looking around making sure there's no one around.

Y/n: What about the agreement? - I ask completely confused.

Eloise: What happens if there is something that alters or changes the agreement? - she answers me with another question.

Y/n: I don't know.- I answer honestly. -I couldn't know if something could alter or change our agreement, if I don't know what it is about.- I clarify and see how she bites her lower lip nervously.

Eloise: Hypothetically speaking.- she clarifies nervously and I nod. -What would happen if one of the two parties ends up falling in love with the other party?- she asks, looking anywhere but at me and my heart races.

Y/n: Hypothetically speaking? - I ask and she nods. -That maybe the other party has also fallen in love.- I admit feeling the heat on my cheeks from shame.

She opens her eyes wide, directing her gaze to me and staring at me. I try to calm my heart; not wanting to have a heart attack.

Eloise: You...? - she asks me uncertainly, pointing to herself and I nod nervously.

Y/n: And you..? - I ask in the same way, pointing to me and she nods, joining her lips in a straight line.

Eloise: And now what? - she asks, avoiding my gaze and I decide to be brave.

I take two steps towards her, moving closer to her body and gently placing my hand on her chin. I force her head up and look at me, before I say what I've wanted to say for a month.

Y/n: Do you want to see the world with me? - I ask with a small nervous smile.

Eloise: Yes.- she nods with a slight redness on her cheeks after a couple of seconds.

I can't stand her closeness anymore, so I finish bringing my face closer to hers and I put our lips together again.

This time, the kiss is longer and lets us release all the feelings we had stored. My hands are placed on her waist, to be able to bring her closer to me and to be able to hug her by the hip against my body.

While her hands go up my arms and intertwine with each other at the nape of my neck.

We kiss until the air becomes necessary and we put our foreheads together to maintain the closeness between our faces.

Y/n: I love you.- I admit for the first time out loud without taking my eyes off hers.

Eloise: I love you.- she whispers and this time she is the one who brings our lips together in a hungry kiss.

If someone had told me that an agreed marriage proposal would have led me to meet the love of my life, I would never have believed it.

But fate is capricious and you never know where it will turn out.

But looking back from the backyard of my mansion with my wife, where I am playing with our four children and my beautiful wife is reading a book in a chair in the sun, that proposition was the wisest choice of my life.

THE END

[anticmiscellaney]

I absolutely adore your work! What's your process been like for writing NewOldRare and developing Neil and Louis? Your art and character writing feel so genuine and realistic to me, so I'm really curious how you go about it!

Thank you! I've always been obsessed with character-driven stories and interaction, so I guess this is the result of years of practice and observation, and dismantling stories that do and don't work to see why.

Unfortunately, there isn't a clear way to explain it. It's one of those "you know when you get it right" things, requiring an eye developed over a long time. I will redraw things if I don't feel like I've captured the nuance I wanted to, and a few months later I'll look at it and see where I could have done better. Same with writing. I'm obsessed with pacing and page design, I had a moment of "that's how I think about it too" when Will Eisner described comic panels like music.

The technical approach is I make notes about stories I want to write, then I expand that into outlines, then scripts, then thumbnails, then I draw the comics and colour them and finalise the dialogue. At every stage I'm asking myself if it feels right, if I'm getting across what I want to. That's not to say there aren't surprises and things don't develop organically, but every stage is an attempt to solve as many problems as I can before the next stage. My thumbnails are quite detailed because it makes pencils easier, and I spend a while on them.

I have total aphantasia so I am operating off feeling rather than any mental images. I have no idea how it works and no idea why I pursue this when I'm missing what many visual artists describe as a crucial component. I just do it and I have better things to do (art) than wonder about something I can't change. I don't think it's made me a better or worse artist, though I think it has given me different ways of approaching/developing things. But also, literally everything about you makes your work different to everyone else's work.

You need to care. If your character is into music, listen to that music. If they have an old car that keeps breaking down, read up on common problems for that model. If they work as a film projectionist, watch a training film about using the machine. The characters care about things, have things in their lives that matter, have skills and interests and challenges. If I don't care enough to understand them, why should anyone reading it care, and also why am I writing it if I don't care?

So I do, and in caring I understand them better. This helps me develop characters/story but it also gives me so much more to write/draw. Understanding how things work and how they are done from a physical standpoint makes writing/drawing them easier too. The more you put into your head, the more you can get out later. I'll do way less for a 12 page short than for a 300 page graphic novel, obviously. Pick your battles, a little can go a long way.

They tell artists to collect visual references - solid advice - but you should collect substance too. If you pay attention, you will hear and see things you could never in a million years make up.

I find online socialising difficult, so I go out regularly and talk to people, or just hang around and observe. Chatting with strangers mostly involves listening to them. No one in gay spaces is interested in flirting with me (I'm rather homely and queer men assume I'm straight) but I think an audience is just as appealing sometimes, and maybe even harder to find. You'd be amazed what people will tell you if you're genuinely interested and listening. I once spent forty minutes at a sci-fi con talking to a guy who'd recently gotten into fisting. While I have zero personal desire to partake in that activity (and he had no interest in being fisted by me), I'm engaged, I'm invested, I'm asking questions, spare no detail.

I collect behavior and movement and the ways people interact too. Reading stories on reddit or whatever is one thing, but the words might not be as interesting as the way they're standing, the way their hands move, the way they respond. A guy in a bar once literally humped my leg like a dog because he felt I wasn't paying enough attention to him. I would never think of that as a response to that situation, but he did, and he followed through. Fortunately my friend had just tried to drunkenly sit down and missed the chair, otherwise I would never hear the end of it.

I see the leghumper around sometimes, he's got a boyfriend and avoids making eye contact with me, thank god.