#I guess this is what happens when you have two birds but holy shit man

[zakurohampter]

Cleaning the apartment (horror music in background)

[romantic-disarray]

❝Childhood Friends to Lovers━Nagi Seishiro.”

Part 3 of my mini series— Nagi Seishiro !

Note : You can find the previous parts in my profile 🤍

Warnings include : Mild spoilers for what happens in the U-20 arc, but I don't go into too much detail, after that is nothing else. Enjoy 🤍

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Damn, you knew Nagi grew less lazier during his times in blue lock but holy shit—you never thought seeing your sloth of a friend get motivated about football would be so fucking attractive.

You were basically screaming your heart out at the impressive goal Nagi just scored against the opponent, your voice getting drowned out by the roars of countless strangers surrounding you, yet Nagi still managed to look up in your section of the seats.

You smiled widely, cupping your hands around your mouth and yelling his name at the top of your lungs. Everyone else was screaming so why not scream until your throat went sore? You've gotta hand it to Reo, that guy definitely did something to Nagi and you absolutely loved whatever drug or steroids he gave him.

Truth be told, Nagi had been searching through the stadium any chance he got, hoping to see your familiar face hiding amongst the crowd with a big toothy grin. He's gone through all the other sections, and that's when he finally reached yours.

For a moment; his grey eyes met yours whom held the emotion of admiration and contentment. Nagi felt his body stiffen, as he slowly raced a hand up to wave at you—he suddenly got tackled to the ground by his teammates. "Hey, why're you getting distracted for?! You scored a goal, man!" Karasu gave him the same grin he always wore.

Nagi rolled his eyes and pushed him away, “Nothing, just... Something.” His eyes went back to look at you within the crowd, the tiniest smile appearing on his face when he saw you again.

Nagi stretched his back, hearing a satisfying pop sound from his behind. He sighed in relief, finally relieving himself of the immense back pain he'd beem feeling since the match ended. Ego was kind enough to send the remaining players back via the busses, but not so generous enough to drop them off directly to their houses, only back at the football union's office.

Nagi turned a corner, and saw a familiar figure waiting on one of the benches in the reception room.

“F/n?” He asked, a bit shocked to see that you were still there waiting for him. If Nagi were in your position then he already would've left you behind, which he now regretted. You got up from your seat and gave him a big smile on your face, “Congrats on the win, Seishiro. Let's walk home together!” You cheerily offered.

Nagi hummed, 'Come to think of it, we haven't gone home together ever since I started playing football with Reo...' He didn't think much of it anymore, and instead he immediately agreed, finding that thinking would only result in an increase to his fatigue.

As much as he didn't like walking home after a long match; Nagi couldn't deny that he did in fact miss you, so he'll take any chance at spending time with you any time he gets.

The two of you started your walk in silence, having only the sounds of the trees rustling and birds chirping to be your ambience that afternoon. It was sunset, so you didn't really have to worry about the hot weather that much, which was nice.

“I see you got inspired.” You decided to break the silence, Nagi shrugged while rubbing the back of his neck, “I guess you could say that.” He mumbled under his breath. In his mind flashed various memories from back in Blue lock, Reo's face, Isagi, Rin, and the others—the only reason he got inspired was because of them.

Unconsciously, your face suddenly popped up in his head. The thought of getting to hear your praise, and smile that you always wore whenever Nagi did something that is just above or the bare minimum. It made his heart pump undeniably quick.

He took a quick glance at your face, which was still focused on the sidewalk to notice. Nagi had always liked being around you, even now that didn't change. He sighed, and before you could even ask what's bothering him—Nagi pulled you by your forearm and softly placed his lips on yours.

“Thanks for waiting for me.” He murmured against the kiss, before slowly pulling away and walked ahead of you, leaving you dumbfounded by the situation.

You touched your cheeks, too much in an awe to react. ‘Not only did he change physically, but he got a lot bolder too...’ Fuck, you could just go on your knees and thank Reo for making Nagi this way.

You immediately caught up to Nagi and smiled cheekily up at him, “What really happened to you, Seishi?” You asked in a playful tone. Nagi shrugged, and instead reached for something inside his pocket. He pulled out a wireless earbud and offered it to you, which you took with no hesitation.

A few seconds later—a song you knew all too well started playing. “A vaundy song?” You questioned, Nagi only nodded as a response and intertwined his fingers with yours, squeezing it softly. “Just the way you like it.” Another quick squeeze to your hand, and that was all you needed.

You absolutely loved this man.

Note : I may or may not have gotten the idea by listening to a vaundy song while going home. ALSO PLEASE GIVE ME MORE IDEAS ON WHO TO WRITE FOR NEXT, I CAN'T THINK ANYMORE

Next up : Shidou Ryuusei

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[dream-thief-forever-amen]

The thing I like best about Word of Honor is all the little couple fights. When they have their over dramatic moments and swear they are walking different paths of just crush each other with words and silence. And not five minutes later they are tiptoeing back into each other’s business. You ain’t still MAD is you can I offer you some fan flirting or eye contact or magical back massage or whatever see there there now we are right as rain… kisses and finger hearts and shit I love them

I also like all the magical martial arts musicians? I’m not sure what that’s about but it’s super fun. Especially when they’re wearing tons of chunky boho jewelry and fabulous eyeliner. Pluck those strings, bitch, play!

Also also the ghosts - I mean I don’t get it - they’re dead but also running around bleeding and hugging and face swapping. And how much overlap is there between the lesbian scorpions and the ghosts are they one and the same is this just a sect I’m so confused but they’re all extra sulky and spiteful so they are my favs and I get upset when one of them perishes - even though they’re already ghosts so… re-perish?

I love it. Please don’t explain a thing to me I honestly am having more fun just going with the flow. Oh, this is happening? Cool, cool.

My boys just drinking nonstop, lounging on rooftops, gently flying through the air. I want a bird to fly past them… like a big V of noisy geese who are like honk honky you silly boys put your backs into it you’re holding up the line here we are moving and you two are just leisurely gliding around like butterflies.

Also that kid had jewelry in his gut this whole time and just sliced himself right up without any warning and I was like HOLY shit little bang boy you are a tough cookie after all. Holding up that black bloody chunk and the dude is like gross let me sanitize this thing first while the little bang boy is like wait you got alcohol over there cause I am in need sir

And I may never recover from the love struck rich dufus telling everyone he spent the night with his crush to protect her secret but also the audacity that cute little minx I wanna squeeze his cheeks and smack his behind and pat him on the head cause he’s got great taste in women that’s for sure - little plucky girl is a true beauty

But not as beautiful and mysterious as evil braid boy and his flawless eyeliner and moonshine facial highlights boy those cheekbones be glowing! I don’t even remember who he is - I assume he wants the blue glass bangle too for the armory or whatever or does he want something else? Baddie I hope you get it all honey you deserve it… that sort of devotion to a goth aesthetic deserves the world - the whole world - where is your soul mate? I feel like he’d be well suited to travel the world with a talking black cat or something…

Sigh.

I don’t get the whole nails in the chest thing either but I like a pitiful man and I love the flirty king who’s determined to save him and I can’t wait to figure out how they’ll get out of this or both die and be reincarnated as geese or whatever is gonna happen down the line it’s too campy to completely break my heart I think so I have faith they’ll pull through and find ways to stay drunk for all eternity together. And forget about the nails what about your livers??? Guess that magic flute cures hangovers too

[xxx-inhibitionless-xxx]

Chapter 48 : Day Three ( Matt & Alex part 2 )

 As they pulled in Matt’s driveway, Alex told Matt, hurry up and I’ll give you a ride to work too.

 Thanks man, Matt replied, that’ll be awesome. Aaron usually does, but obviously that’s not going to happen. Okay, hang tight, I’ll be right back, Matt said as he raced in the house to get cleaned up and change as fast as he could. He felt the need to rush, worried that Alex might think less of him if he took too long.

 Even though they had all known each other for a short amount of time, just a few days as a matter of fact, Matt still felt a similar kind of bond with Alex as he did with his closest friends Aaron and Brian. A bond he felt he did not want to test the limits of right off the bat by making Alex have to wait for him.

  To Matt’s relief Alex was still in the car waiting and talking on the phone when Matt emerged from his house. Holy shit, Alex exclaimed interrupting his own conversation, are you secretly the flash or something. It’s been like ten minutes, how the hell did you get ready so fast ? What did you do, speed wank ?

 More like twenty minutes, Matt explained as he got in the car blushing at Alex’s reference to and apparent awareness of the fact that Matt did indeed take care of business as he got ready. I didn’t want you to have to wait too long.

 No problem buddy, you didn’t have to rush, Alex assured Matt as he returned to his call, hey, let me let you go, I need to drop a friend off at work and then I’ll be in. Okay, Alex continued talking on the phone, be there in a bit. I have no idea who would ask for me specifically, Alex addressed Matt noticing that he looked like he didn’t have a clue what Alex was referring too as he started to explain, apparently the whole reason I got called in is that someone called in a catering order and asked for me specifically for delivery.

  You won’t be late because of me will you, Matt asked, worried that he would be the cause of Alex getting in trouble with this job. No, it’s not until a little later anyway, we’ve got plenty of time, Alex replied trying to ease Matt’s concern. What about you, what time did you have to be to work ?

 Just when I get there I guess, Matt answered. When I talked to my mom this morning, she just said that Diana had called and asked if I could work today. When I work Saturday’s it’s usually at 1:30 so I’m guessing then.

 Oh, well then, Alex interjected, we’ve got some time if you want to grab some food.

 That would be great, Matt exclaimed, I’m starving. Matt’s stomach rumbled at just that moment, indicating that it  noticed the mention of food and wanted attention. I don’t think I’ve eaten since before yesterday, Matt responded in amazement as the sudden realization occurred to him.

 Well, if you’re up for pizza, Alex elaborated, we can kill two birds with one stone. We can swing by Bruno’s, referring to the pizza joint he delivered for, so I can go get more details on what this gig is all about I got called in for and get you some grub at the same time. Then it’s just a straight shot to get you to work then I’ll drop back by and get ready myself.

 Sounds good to me, Matt indicated with a thumbs up gesture, besides, you guys have the best pizza ever.

 Once they got to Bruno’s, Alex hooked Matt up with a whole pizza loaded with his favorite toppings as he talked with his boss about the delivery gig he got called in for. His boss told him he didn’t have many details right now so Alex joined Matt for a slice of pizza before they headed out to drop Matt off at work.

 As they drove, Alex filled Matt in on what little information he did find out. Apparently, Alex detailed, it’s a couple jobs all in one. It’s like a series of deliveries to a few different places but all the same order. I don’t know, but it’s certainly not the most bizarre delivery I’ve ever had.

 Which was what, Matt inquired, come on, you brought it up, now you have to tell me.

 Okay, okay, Alex relented, but you have to promise not to tell the others, they don’t know, I’ve never told them.

[twilightknight17]

This time on P3R: lots and lots of Tartarus, and hanging with my bros.

Spent a bunch of time in Tartarus, one because I was trying to get more money/personas, and two because I thought the border floor was closer than it was. X’D I ended up having to go home because everyone was out of SP.

I’m level 68, which is not nice, and one level too low to fuse Loki, sadly. And somehow, I don’t feel overleveled in the slightest. Which… doesn’t seem to bode well for the inevitable marathon final boss. XDDDD

Anyway, now that I’ve come back, time to… oh, wait. Exams are this week, so no one will hang out with me except my rival track bro, and Mitsuru. Which seems weird, since Mitsuru STILL won’t hang out with me because I’m not a genius. But if I was… she’d hang out with me instead of study?

Akihiko wants to spend the evening together, though, so that’s cool. He takes me on a workout run, and Minato keeps up admirably! That roving band of delinquents who want to fight him turns up again, though.

Seriously, there’s more dudes every time this happens.

Akihiko’s prepared to fight, though, and tells Minato to stay back. But…

Admittedly, I’m not a Japanese high school student. I’m not an expert. But these guys seriously think that just because he’s on the boxing team, he’ll get in trouble for defending himself against like… twenty guys? “Oh, someone with your training shouldn’t fight an amateur”, so what, he’s just supposed to let people with no training beat him up without protecting himself?

Also, fucking pathetic of these morons to only come after him if they think he can’t/won’t hit back. Cowards. Dipshits. Fall down the shrine stairs on your way home.

Don’t worry, Senpai! I could!

These guys made a fatal mistake, though. They mentioned that they know where we live, and that there’s girls and a kid living there too. And you threaten our stupid little team family, you are toast.

Got it! But aw, man. That means I can’t just yank out a sword and start swinging.

I guess it’s fine, though, because we laid them out flat.

I’m delighted by the fact that we just left them everywhere.

We head home after telling them to not fuck with us anymore, and head to Akihiko’s room, where he admits that he’s made a decision about Nyx. He wants to fight, no matter what the outcome is.

That’s in line with Yukari and Mitsuru, who also want to fight. Very proud of my team here.

Now we’re off to spend some time with Kamiki, because Maya isn’t ready to rank up again. Kamiki makes me uncomfortable, but that’s a me thing, not a Minato thing, so we’re off to listen to him talk about the story he’s writing. The one that probably is not good for children, but is good catharsis for him.

The one about the pink alligator, shunned by others, who makes friends with a bird.

Today he picks up where he left off and tells us about how the pink alligator has a friend now, but still can’t hunt because of his color. So he’s getting more and more hungry. And then he accidentally eats the bird. And the bird dies. So he decides to just starve.

Dude. WARN someone before you just drop a story like that on them. He asks what we think, and dude, that’s fucking dark.

My guy, holy shit. I believe in your writing, but maybe tone it down just a smidge. I forget if he wanted this to be a picture book or what, but if so, you’re gonna traumatize the kiddos.

Fucking hell. Let’s go take exams.

Oh god I had to guess on that one but I got it!

And then missed the Roman mythology one. Who even am I.

And my academics are STILL not maxed despite all the study sessions!

To take my mind off of my shit academics, we’re gonna go hang out with Junpei.

You already apologized, but this is nice of you. And.. it’s okay.

Junpei admits that he was scared and angry and unjustifiably took his anger out on Minato.

If you say “Ryoji” I’m gonna leave.

But no, he means himself. He talks about how when he was visiting Chidori in the hospital, he accidentally brushed off her question about his future plans, and upset her. Seeing all of SEES apparently just talking about the potential death of everything like it was just another mission made him realize how scared Chidori must have been, and how bad it felt to have someone not notice that.

But he gets now that we’re all scared, we’re just dealing with it different ways. And says that while Minato has always made decisions for the rest of the team, now he should make a decision for himself.

Even if the rest of SEES wants something else.

I love Junpei a whole lot. He’s actually so good, and anyone who says otherwise is wrong and I will fight them.

Time is passing faster than it feels like it should. But not as fast as November flew by.

Yeah. We’ll have a nice Christmas together.

...nevermind, I’m sending you, specifically, to Tartarus.

Because he loves humanity and me! Oh my god. In hindsight, a better punishment is BANNING you from Tartarus. No training until you stop being like this. X’’’’D

I do wonder what Christmas will have to offer, at least...

[hours2hours]

THE HAWKINS PARADOX: CHAPTER FIVE

Joel

Our feet hang off the edge of Annie’s roof, which overlooks the whole town. A joint in my hand and a cigarette in her’s, smoke wisps from her agape mouth. It’s about 6:30 in the morning, the sun just beginning to rise. I didn’t sleep, and was relieved to discover Annie couldn’t either. Though it isn’t as common, Annie still has her fair share of sleepless nights.

The morning is cold without wind, and the view from Annie’s roof is stunning. Her home stands at the peak of Matlock’s rolling hills, a two story building with a flat roof. A perfect spot for stargazing, smoking, or some time alone. 

Annie hits play again, pausing just as the arms reach out of the woods and grab Mateo. “This is wild, how did you get this?”

“Miles knew the code to Mateo’s phone and I guess no one else did. The night he went missing he and Miles were filming some art project.”

“Holy shit.”

“Yeah.”

She watches the rest of the video again, breezing past the odd lights Miles noticed earlier. 

“How’d Miles take it?”

“Exactly how you’d think. Now he’s sure his brother is dead.”

“I’m convinced too,” Annie replies.

“He’s really messed up, I dunno what to do.”

“You don’t need to do anything. There’s nothing you can do unless you wanna find the body for him.”

“I just wanna make him feel better, but I’m next to useless.”

She inhales a drag from her cigarette and looks at me. “Well, you know what you’d do if I were in his shoes.”

“Can’t imagine throwing Miles on a b&e would help.”

“If he’s terrified he can’t be sad,” She giggles then lays down on her back, I do the same. “Plus, you do have your own killer to find. Maybe you help him by letting him help you.”

Lost in thought I puff my joint. “Don’t you find that strange? Two killers out here at once?”

She only shrugs, “All the more reason to take him then. If you’re lucky it’ll be a two birds one stone situation.”

Trying to laugh, I again find myself sinking deeper into thoughts of revenge. Followed always by the image of my poor dog, his sad face crusted with blood and pain. It seems impossible to live in a reality where someone so evil gets away scot-free. 

 But Annie doesn’t need to hear it, my jaw remains silently clenched, crushing filter. “Alright, we’ll go tonight if he’s up for it.”

“Sounds like a plan bro. Meet you at the arcade after, Otto insists we check out the new machine.”

“He’s still dragging you on dates?”

“C’mon, he knows it’s not gonna happen. We’re just hanging out as friends.”

The sky has shifted from muted pinks and oranges to a more consistent shade of blue. There are no clouds in the sky, and I wonder if my life really could be at stake here. If someone is willing to kill a dog just to humiliate me, who’s to say they won’t go farther? How do I know they’re not just waiting until I let my guard down?

“I hope we can help Miles. Even if it is in our own fucked up way,” I say eventually. Annie steals the joint from my fingers and opens her mouth to speak, but pauses. “Are you ever gonna tell him that you’re ga-”

Staring down with furious eyes I interrupt. “I don’t wanna talk about that. Don’t even say it.”

“Easy man, was just curious. Am I still the only person you’ve told?”

“Yep,” I sigh. “And I’m gonna keep it that way.”

Through the generations of living removed from real civilisation, Matlock Beach has grown well past cultish in its religion. Featuring two churches within three kilometers and dozens of families who’ll accept nothing but the word of their bible. Even Annie finding out was a fluke. If only I hadn’t been so drunk that night, if Annie didn’t have to walk me home.

“Not even your sister?”

I steal back the joint, inhale another puff. “No. Just drop it.”

***

When the clock strikes eight I’m out the door before my boss can say a word. Miles agreed to meet me after work, though it took some coercing to get him out of his room. It was strange actually, his answer was a definitive “no” until a sudden change of heart midday. 

On my way up to the door I spot him through the window. He holds a pencil in his right hand and a coffee in his left. French Vanilla Latte I’d suspect. He’s staring off into space, twirling the pencil in his fingers and mouthing the words to whatever music he’s listening to. I walk through the door where the smell of espresso warmly greets my nose. The Cafe is small, but it’s atmosphere can’t be beat anywhere in town. The seats are soft, the tables are always cleaned right away, and there’s a little fireplace in the center, selling the cozy feeling with it’s digital crackling of wood. It’s no surprise this is where Miles would work.

 Once he sees me on the way to his table, Miles takes off his earbuds and neatly places a small stack of white papers inside the sketchbook.

“I’ve been doing some thinking,” he says right off the bat. “When you reminded me of your dog this morning at school, it made me wonder: how do we know the things happening to us aren’t connected?”

I decide not to let him in on the conversation Annie and I had. “I’m listening,” I reply. 

 Miles continues, “I did some digging, found out Matlock Beach has an messy history compared to other settlements in the area. In the 1800s there were a series of disappearances, lots of kids, but lots of animals were found too, mutilated. Some even said their blood had gone completely black. There’s old stories of something infecting the forest and the lake.”

“You think some weirdo’s mimicking the old killings?”

“Maybe, but its beside the point. What are the odds of a place like this having two killers at once?”

“But Toby was meant to hurt me specifically. What would this person have against Mateo?”

“I don’t know. But two horrible deaths in the same month can’t be coincidence in a place like this. Can they?”

What Miles is saying makes sense, but his theory only brews more bad theories. Could Mateo have been my fault? If I did something that made someone snap does that mean I’m responsible his death? “You’d be surprised at how many lunatics live in this cult town… But yer probably right. That’s why you changed your mind about coming?”

“That’s right.” The brown’s of his eyes are dilated and his eyebrows show determination instead of fear now. Have I been looking at them for too long?

The expression disappears when his eyes refocus on the door behind me.

“Don’t look,” he whispers and lowers his head. “Maybe he won’t notice us.”

“Who?” I whisper.

Then a stomach twisting giggle. “Jesus Christ aren’t you adorable?” Aaron slides into my side of the booth, thick cheeks creased into a grin. 

Fuck.

“Room for a third?” He winks at Miles, expression draining into anxiety.

“Piss off,” I hiss.

“We’re busy,” Miles grumbles, frustrated but polite.

“Remember when you used to look into my eyes like that?” Aaron stretches his arms and plops his feet right next to my hands. They’re wrapped in tight skinny jeans and dusted with white powder. Doughnuts or cocaine? Either outcome fit. “I was only wondering if you had an update on that killer.” He takes a sip of Miles’s coffee and raises both brows at him. “Either one.”

Smacking both hands on the table I reply, “You’ve got no business in this. We got what we needed out of you, but if you’re askin’ for another round then be my guest.”

“You’d figure I should be the one pissed,” Aaron snaps back. “You should be begging for my forgiveness, Hawkins.” Miles’s face turns to worry as my fists clench by my sides. He knows how much I hate the last name.

“It’ll be a cold day in hell the day I ask for your forgiveness.”

“Good, cause you aren’t getting it.”

“Can we relax, please?” Miles interjects. “It’s been a rough few days.”

“What an excellent idea my lifelong pal.” Aaron’s tone and posture change like nothing happened. “Honestly, I’ve been bored. I wanna see how this is gonna play out, and I know you’re planning something exciting.”

“Like I said, none of your business,” I snarl.

“Well gee, sorry,” Aaron says. “Guess I’m not welcome here then, I just wanted to check in with my buddies.” He smirks maliciously. Aaron takes his legs off the table and stands, finishing off Miles’s coffee without a word of protest. “See you in class Miles, and good luck finding your murderer!” He waves him off without a glance at me.

“What a piece of shit!”

Miles reaches for the center of the table. “He’s just trying to get to you.”

“I know. I wish he didn’t make me so angry but he does. He’s been doin’ this shit since ninth grade. Probably the one responsible anyway, asshole came to taunt me about it I bet.”

Miles eyes his empty coffee cup with a tinge of disgust, tosses it in the garbage can behind. “If he’s involved, he could have come to see if his hint led us anywhere.”

“Probably made the whole thing up, then he came here just to mock me.” I turn to the window beside us, at my reflection in the glass.

“We don’t know that, though.”

“S’pose we’ll find out.”

“Speaking of, when’s Annie supposed to be here?”

“She said ten minutes fifteen ago. Wants to meet us at the arcade.”

The downtown arcade is only a few doors down from the cafe, a grimy building built into a an old garage. I may have some vague memories of visiting as a kid, but Ruby and I were so scared going by ourselves. These days it’s a building I usually forget, like the bank or post office. It’s a dark contrast to the bright cafe, but the kids feverishly smacking the controls don’t seem to mind.

Annie hasn’t noticed Miles and I in the entrance yet, far too occupied with losing. Otto stands in the booth next to her, hitting his third 50 pointer in a row, Annie bows her head in shame.

“Okay okay, one more game, I think I’m getting the hang of it,” she says. “How’re you so good at this already?”

“It’s just math, maybe we should get back to studying.”

Annie snorts, words oozing with sarcasm, “That so? If math is gonna solve everything how about you calculate why my mom is such a stuck up b- HEY JOEL, HEY MILES.” She waves fanatically

Otto’s eyes drift away as they always do when he’s flustered, I don’t know what was so embarrassing, but he seems to know that it’s time to go. I nod my head toward the exit when Annie asks us to wait outside.

The stainless steel table and chairs are cold against my skin under the purple twilight, but it isn’t long before Annie rolls out of the building on her skateboard. She kicks it into her hands and lights a smoke.

“Just be safe Annie.” Otto shoots me a hard glance while he says this.

“Yeah, I’m hanging out with our friends not snorting meth,” she jokes. When out of earshot she adds, “Never again.”

“I’ll see you guys later,” Otto waves us off before planting his hands in his pockets.

“You don’t want a ride home?” I offer, thumb gesturing at my truck. “Or a sweater maybe?”

“That’s okay,” he waves us off and starts towards home. 

“See ya later,” Miles waves before Otto disappears into the dark.

***

Some part of me waited for Miles to change his mind, but its more than a relief that he hasn’t. Maybe we can finally get his mind off his brother for a minute. I know for a fact that Aaron showing up didn’t help, and I can only hope he isn’t losing it like I would in his place. He sits in the back seat, anxiously picking his fingers. On my right Annie scans the place, finding exits where possible, searching for blind spots from windows and cameras. Planning is Annie’s specialty, while I work best thinking on my toes. We brought masks and steakout supplies if we need to wait out a manager. This includes a backpack full of snacks, weed, flashlights, crowbar, and a pair of binoculars. Just the essentials.

Annie flicks her cigarette out the window, “You boys ready for a break-in if needed?”

“I dunno,” Miles shifts uncomfortably. “Maybe you guys should do that part without me.”

“Relax,” Annie turns in her seat to face him with a comforting smile. “You think we were perfect our first go around? Of course not, but we had each others backs, and that’s all you really need.”

“Don’t get ahead of yourself,” I say. “Let’s see if we can go the safe route first.”

“Just want the newbie to be prepared.”

“Let’s just go,” I open the door.

We walk to the door of the place. It’s far dumpier than even the restaurants and shops in downtown Matlock. Rumour has it the place has been going bankrupt for years, not many tourists on the outskirts I suppose. Opening the door, a familiar voice greets me.

“Sup Hawkins, been a while.”

Staring me in the face is Wendy Anson, the girl I sent to juvie and our prime suspect. She’s smiling and picking the chicken wings from her teeth.

“Uh, hey Wendy. Long time no see.”

“I’ll say, jail was a blast.”

Annie looks at me nervously. It’s unclear whether this is meant as a genuine joke or not. There’s almost no way she could tie me to her bust. The only person I ever told at the time was Annie, and there’s no way she’d rat me out. My report to the cops was anonymous, and no one saw me enter or leave the house, I went through great measures to make sure of that.

“Anyways, what’re y’all ordering?” She picks up a notepad and pen, glancing up at us from under her black hat with those evil brown eyes. A fake gold chain circles her neck, though you know she’ll brag to everyone that it’s real.

“Glad to see you got out okay,” I say casually. 

“Right, I’m sure you were counting the days. Now could ya hurry up? Last call is in four minutes.”

Annie steps past me and puts her hands on the table. “Nice to see you and all, we’re not here for food. Someone’s been fucking with Joel and you might have caught whoever it was on that security camera you have in the back, we wanted to know if you’d let us take a look.”

“We just got that thing to catch whatever was banging around out back. Raccoons, by the way, who’d’ve guessed,” She rolls her eyes.

“Could we just take a look anyways?” I ask. “It’ll only take a second.”

“Hang on a minute,” Wendy sighs. She exits down a hallway to her right. A door creaks open and a voice speaks. It’s too far and the kitchen is too noisy to make out what they’re saying, but when Wendy appears back at the counter she says “Afraid I can’t help.”

“Why not?” I ask.

“Seems the manager hates your guts Hawkins, best of luck to you though.”

“Could’ya please just try again? For a friend?”

Wendy snorts, “My hands are tied, I’d keep asking but I’m getting outta here. Got some real business to get to. If you’re interested, you know where to find me.” 

Fists clench at my side, jaw tense, Annie glares at me. Just as I open my mouth to give wendy a piece of my mind Annie drags me outside by the hem of my shirt. “Hey!” I object.

“Not worth it bro, let’s go.” 

“Catch ya later,” Wendy calls as I’m dragged away like a child misbehaving in the mall.

I yank her hand away, “Was that necessary? God.”

“Apparently. We can’t rob the place if you assault their staff.”

“Why do you just assume I’m going to assault her?”

“Because that’s usually how you deal with things,” she replies.

Miles covers his mouth, suppressing that giggle he does when he wants to laugh but knows he shouldn’t. A smile creeps at my lips but I go along with it.

“Real funny huh? How’d you like it if I dragged you around like a little kid?”

“We’d all love to see that but we need to go back to the car, now.” Annie interrupts. “If we’re seen hanging around this place we’ll look even more suspicious.”

When we all hop back in my car Miles speaks, “Well that’s it right?”

“What do you mean?” I ask.

“We can’t break in there, she’ll know it was us for sure.”

He has a point. If we go break in there tonight there’s no doubt Wendy will know it was us, with anyone else this would be a serious issue.

“We’re gonna be just fine.”

Annie props her elbow on my shoulder from the back seat, intrigued. “Oh?” A beat. “Ooooh.”

I shift into reverse and leave the parking lot, driving down the gravel road towards town but making a right through the grassy ditch into a field. 

“Long story short ninth grade was wild. Wendy hates rats. Remember when Jake called in a bomb threat to ditch an exam?” 

“Oh I remember,” Annie replies. “Lua ratted and got him expelled.”

“And what did the rat-hater Wendy Anson do? Set their car on fire. Ratting is no joke to her.”

“And you still got her arrested?” Miles asks.

“For being a money hungry psycho bitch, yeah.”

I take the long route to the train tunnel, all the way to the end of the field slightly into the forest, hidden just in case things go south.

“So,” Miles starts. “Your plan is to once again rat on the one who will kill you for ratting?”

“Not at all. I’m long past playing tattletale.” 

“So what are you going to do then?” He asks.

“I’m gonna make sure she never hurts anyone again. I’m going to do somethin’ about it. Are you?” 

“Well what exactly are you planning on doing about it?” Miles asks.

“I’m gonna make this asshole pay for it.”

“By hurting them? How will that fix anything?”

“Don’t need it to fix anything.”

“So what does that mean? Do you want to kill someone they love? You wanna beat them to a pulp like Aaron? Cause that worked so well?”

“God, I’m not going to fucking kill anyone! Why does everyone have to assume-?” I realize too late what this argument does to me. I wipe my eyes and unbuckle my seatbelt. “You don’t need to come with me.”

The night sky is brightly illuminated by the near full moon, and the wind is light. The space beside the tunnel is an area of tall unkempt grass stretching across the field to the wooded horizon. It rises up to my waist, but almost covers my body when I sit against the rocky wall. The night’s peaceful, it was nights like these I’d sometimes spend with my dog. Let him run around in the grass and throw stuff for him to chase. Sometimes he’d come back with a mouse or bird he killed. Others were disgusted, but I knew he just wanted to help me in his own way.

Miles arrives shortly, he sits close and tucks his knees into his chest. I look at his face in the moonlight, his curly brown hair sways slightly in the wind, and his rounded features cast hazy shadows in his face. He looks away from me and starts plucks grass to twirl around his finger. “I shouldn’t have said that. I know you’d never kill anyone.”

“Sorry I yelled,” I say. “People have a tendency to assume the worst in me. But… there’s a reason for that.”

“I understand why you’re angry, I’m angry too. This person will take responsibility for what they’ve done.” Miles’s eyes meet mine. “Do you want to tell me about him?”

“Before you an’ Annie I had no one. He was just a dog but he was someone, and…” I trail off. Opening up isn’t something I’m used to, and it feels really wrong for some reason. School counselors and self-help posters at school say talking about it should feel good. On the rare occasion I get to it, something just sinks into the bottom of my stomach, I only want to curl up into a ball and never speak again. It was easier venting to a dog because I could talk and talk and he’d never be burdened by my problems. “I miss him. And I can’t stand the thought of the piece of crap who did it walking around without a care. Makes my damn blood boil.”

“You have every right to be angry, but hurting them isn’t going to solve anything.”

“I have to do something.”

Annie tosses black fabric in my face before I even notice her approach. “And we will,” she says. “We’re gonna try and find them tonight, then give ‘em to the piggies.” She lobs the hockey mask at Miles’s but it ends up hitting him in the face. “And we’re going to do it without getting caught in the first place.” I unfold the fabric and find my bandana, I can’t help but smile.

“Thanks Annie.”

“No amount of violence will stop me from helping you.”

I laugh and look at Miles. “You really don’t have to come if you don’t want to, we get it.”

Miles’s replies without hesitation. “Maybe there’s a risk, but there’s a good shot this person is involved with Mateo somehow. I’m coming.”

“Fuck yeah!” Annie exclaims, pulling us both off the ground into a tight hug. The comforting smell of orange shampoo fills my nose, and the negative feelings dissolve for a fleeting moment.

[silvermuffins]

Pokemon Scarlet Liveblog! Part 6

We are trying to make actual progress but man I just want to disappear into the wilds never to be seen again

right so we are currently running around behind the fuckoff bird mountain, hoping to find another fuckoff bird to catch for our very own but in the meantime also headed for the next Team Star base

these mudbray keep bolting away from me with distressed sweatdrops but they keep going exactly the direction i go to try and not battle them

eyyyy Scoots is evolving! We can grab that egg (actually might be helpfult o have scoots on the team for that, since its ability....hmm) well at least we can pull something out of the box!

We're grabbing Fidget. I wanna fill in the dex, it's an early mon, it can't evolve in too weird a way.

i still don't know what Mold Breaker does but Pebbles has that ability and it's like fuck yeah she does, the mold and everything else she encounters

once again it is mass naptime at the picnic....oh Pebbles either sneezed and woke herself up or had a nightmare....okay everyone's had a bath. What sort of sandhich should I make...maybe something kinda simple? holy shit my best stacking yet! maybe a little messy but it WORKED and nothing fell off. Ham, cheese, cucumber, and apple, with butter and mayo.

Oh! Teeny is evolving! DACHSBUN. oh my gosh Teeny's been baked. Okay time to grab something else from the box...guess I'll grab that egg.

turns Pebbles loose on a bunch of wild pokemon....pebbles might stay on my team OH THERE'S FALINKS HERE. You'll be the Links. Just like that, "the Links".

i wonder if I could have a picnic atop a watchtower....probably not, right? ...I CAN. Okay this time we're having a veggie salad sammich. I am getting better at this! We have salt, pepper, olive oil, and vinegar, with tomatoes, pickles, onions, yellow peppers, basil, and watercress. I genuinely have no idea how to tell if the sandwich is good or not.

EGG HATCH it's a Fidough! I have a Fidough to give away now. I guess we'll put Tyse ont he team now.

Oh yeah, who to use against the upcoming Dark base....hm. Pebbles, of course, and Jupe. Fidget would be good but she's so low level...well, the other two can probably carry, I don't think Sotero saw a lot of the action last time....still, might see how much candy I have to feed the bug. ....One M candy gets her to level 21, that ought to do it.

uh oh....odd behavior?

clive you're not maintaining your ruse very well. man and we do NOT trust cassiopeia, huh?

--GIANT FUCKOFF BIRD im catching you this time! Pachetti, right? FUCK nearly muscle memory killed it again but this bird is damn good at dodging. this fucker is breaking out of ultra balls. FINALLY. Fuck you, birdie, fuck you.

Okay! Dark base time! ....console battery low, always at the fucking worst time.

okay NOW it's Dark Base time!

Wait, Giacomo runs the whole team? So why'm I facing him so early? The fuck's going on? He's apparently strategic.... But like, Mela wasn't as boisterously angry as I was led to believe, so I don't know what to expect. And, I don't trust Cassiopeia.

Okay we got Pebbles, Jupe, and Fidget lined up, let's FIGHT. Barrage done!

awwww i love Giacomo already! he does at least seem pretty unruffled, as i was told. but not terribly calm. He put me to sleep??? Not for loooong~ Oh buddy your strat is slipping.

Giacomo down! And once again, sort of a...subdued reaction. ...Giacomo used to be student council president? And...everyone hated him...he doesn't strike me as all that stuffy, so...what happened? And who is this big boss? ...They all love and trust him...he changed from his student council days....hmmm. What is going on here?

frowny noises

Waiting on a friend, who they aren't sure will be coming back, and that seems to be the big boss.... Something is going on here. Something sad.

The big boss hasn't been heard from in a year and a half, around when they formed the code....a code to lead the team in their stead, maybe? because they knew they'd be gone? and talking about disbanding the team...

oh NO....the boss and the team are the treasure....the real treasure was the friends they made along the way...

Is Cassiopeia the big boss? Ensuring Team Star gets taken down?

AWWW Koraidon likes Penny!

penny pls be my friend

Penny knows what they've been telling me... Team Star is Class E. Team Star is the dregs. Team Star is the ones who slipped through the cracks. This plotline is going to tear my heart from my chest and throw it into the depths of the sea.

Penny is a hacker, could Penny be Cassiopeia? Could Penny be the Big Boss?

TOWN. Cascarrafa!

They have....Cyclizar charging stations??? That's a thing you need? The Pokemon Center isn't enough???? OH that's an elevator

aaaaa shopping for new shit

pulls a yellow black stake out of the ground...

ACK triggered an event outside the Gym I thought nothing would happen til I went in...oh I need to take him his wallet.

Oh I have to go all the way to another town for this test? Okay!

Oh I thought I could safely go in but there's more plot in here. Hi Hassel!

WHO IS THIS HOLY SHIT. Her name is Rika and I'll bet she has half the population of Paldea in dire straits. By which I mean probably everyone playing this game is in love, has gender envy, or both.

the NPCs are saying Kofu's gym test is super hard but I think i get to deliver his wallet instead...

god i love the fashion items here......my money isn't unlimited though....we are gonna save, close, and reopen real quick to shoo off a glitch. Nothing gamebreaking, just mildly annoying.

exploooooring....i got up to a cool point i should use that to retake my trainer photos. Once the sandstorms die down a little.

And then my brother called and I talked to him for two hours instead of playing! Sunday's my early day at work so I had better wind down for the evening. We'll tackle the desert and the gym (hopefully) next time, and hopefully get a couple more goals squared away too!

[james-barbier]

Scene 1:

Bryce and Kevin are sitting next to each other in the back of a 100-seat lecture hall, talking under their breaths as the professor jots away on the board.

Bryce: Hey man what’s your name?

Kevin: Kevin. You?

Bryce: Bryce.

Kevin: Nice to meet you man.

Bryce: Dude have you figured out number 9 yet?

Kevin: No, it’s bullshit man. I am literally using the values from the table and still not getting the right answer.

Bryce: Me too.

The professor continues rambling about excel spreadsheets in the background.

Kevin: I guess I’ll ask him after class.

Bryce: Yea that’s a good idea.

Kevin: This class sucks man, I have no clue what’s going on.

Bryce: Me too. I am so confused on everything. I literally can’t listen to him talk at 9am.

Kevin: Brutal.

Professor: Is there a problem back there gentleman?

Kevin: No professor. (puts his head down in embarrassment. Professor continues his lecture)

Bryce: What the fuck is this guy’s deal?

Kevin: I don’t know, always has a stick up his ass.

Kevin: Do you mind if I get your number? We should work together on the homeworks.

Bryce: Yea sure man. (Kevin hands Bryce his phone and Bryce enters his phone number. Lights die down)

Scene 2:

Fast forward three years. The lights come up and Kevin and Bryce are eating in the dining hall.

Kevin: What have you been up to these days? Haven’t seen you for a while.

Bryce: I don’t know. I had an internship this summer. Really trying to get into stock trading now.”

Kevin: Dude you are too young to be trading.”

Bryce: I guess, I enjoy it though. I think the market is interesting.

Kevin: Well yea you are a business major.

Bryce: And you used to be. (the two laugh to themselves softly). Yea. I don’t know I guess it’s just interesting.

Kevin: Until the economy crashes. Well, I got to head to class man. We should do this again some time, it was nice to catch up.

Bryce: Absolutely man. I’ll let you know. (lights fade to black)

Scene 3:

The lights come up to reveal a half-packed bar. Five years have past since the last scene. Kevin is sitting at the end of the bar, trying to keep to himself. Enter Bryce with a group of people, both guys and girls in their late twenties.

Bryce (to his friends): I’m gonna hit the can real quick, I’ll be back.  (Bryce walks towards the bathroom which is by the end of the bar near where Kevin is sitting. As he walks, he double takes at the man sitting at the end of the bar). Kevin?

Kevin: (groggily raises his head to find the voice) Holy shit! What’re you doing here?

Bryce: The real question is what are you doing here? I thought you moved out west?

Kevin: Got laid off working for that oil-rigging company. Moved back here to live with my parents, the rent was crazy out there.

Bryce: Damn, hope everything is alright. Can I asked what happened?

Kevin: It’s a lot. You watch that game this weekend?

Bryce: What, the Eagles?

Kevin: Yea man. We lookin’ good.

Bryce: Yea I caught some of it. I was working Sunday.

Kevin: Oh, gotta pay them bills some way right?

Bryce: You bet brother. Go Birds baby!

Kevin: Go Birds! I’ll catch you later. I gotta go take a piss and than make sure these hooligans don’t get into too much trouble (gestures to his friends). (Kevin pats Bryce on the back and heads to the bathroom. The lights go out when he shuts the door)

Scene 4:

(The lights come up on an empty bar. Kevin still remains in the same seat, his head resting in his arms on the bar. He’s the only one left)

Bartender: (pats Kev on the shoulder). Yo Kev, closing time.

Kevin dazily raises his head, throws a $20 on the bar, and stands up to grab his jacket on the back of his seat. He nods to the bartender as he stumbles out of the bar. When he gets outside, he struggles to fish through his pockets to find his keys. He finally grabs hold of them, fumbles to find the unlock button and points it at his beat-up 1998 Toyota Corolla parked out front. He walks to car, opens the driverside door, sits, and puts the key into ignition. Lights cut out.

[hunxi-after-hours]

《烈火浇愁》: a crash course

by priest

Summary:

When Xuan Ji is called upon to thwart a demon summoning on his first day at his new job, he begins to suspect that there’s more to this whole Bureau for Supernatural Affairs than he was led to believe. Look, all he wanted was an easy way to pay off his credit card debt, lao Xiao!

Meanwhile, someone has rudely roused Sheng Lingyuan—better known as Sheng Xiao, the unspeakably powerful warrior-emperor of ancient history—from his grave. A dark conspiracy threatens to reignite the Chiyuan, the volcanic source of all magic in the world, and Sheng Lingyuan must seal the Chiyuan once more before he can return to his eternal rest.

Forcibly dragged into the modern world, Sheng Lingyuan grudgingly partners with Xuan Ji to face the coming storm. As ancient demons reawaken, more and more questions emerge: who is trying to reignite the Chiyuan? Why can’t Xuan Ji remember anything before ten years ago? And exactly how much did the history books get wrong about Sheng Lingyuan?

When past and present, legends and lies, swords and spirits collide, even raging fires might not be enough to drown centuries of hidden sorrows.

random bullet point thoughts, in no particular order:

genre-wise I’d slide this title right into the intersection of horror/dark fantasy, urban fantasy, and, uh (squints at notes) time travel? huh I guess that happened

I am speaking as a Cosmere fan when I say that I understood, optimistically, maybe 65% of the worldbuilding

the first arc of this novel is Straight Fire. the way I yelled when Sheng Lingyuan Did That

I live for Xiao Zheng and Xuan Ji’s dynamic. “If you can talk seriously for a minute I’ll give you 100 kuai” is iconic comedy gold

the way priest handles Sheng Lingyuan dealing with modernity is simultaneously Not What You’d Expect but also Exactly What You Want

never forget Sheng Lingyuan arriving late to a fight scene because he couldn’t figure out how the elevator worked and had to resort to blasting his way through the parking structure. the man may not know Arabic numerals but he is in possession of ungodly magical abilities and is more than willing to use them

the donghua is Extremely Good and I’m not exaggerating in the slightest when I say I was animation baited into reading this 783k+ word novel. also the music is absolutely stunning

I feel like I should say something about the angst in this novel but I don’t even know where to begin. it’s like. mind-bending. heart-rending. world-ending. cosmic. comedic. disgustingly sappy. utterly shameless. bafflingly devastating

for the love of all that is good and holy I would ask someone to smash their dense heads together except there’s been literally decades worth of telepathy between these two and they STILL haven’t figured their shit out

priest really said “if you haven’t lovingly nurtured your soulmate in your spine for fifteen to three thousand years you’re not worthy of being called soulmates” and “nothing is sexier than your spiritual weapon” and “birds are vain therefore winged people are as well” and “backstabbing can be a love language too”

uhhhh I feel like the sheer quantity of war crimes and human sacrifice should get its own bullet point so here it is

no really a great deal of the novel’s thematic focus is “What Measure is a Non-Human,” what it means for a person to be forged into a weapon and what it takes for a weapon to become a person, whether it’s possible to rediscover happiness/one’s humanity despite the war crimes that you have committed and have been committed upon you, the paper-thin line between heroism and monstrosity, and the question of what—or who—you would set the world on fire for

please let Sheng Lingyuan rest. yes I am aware he is a war criminal yes I am aware that he physically does not need to sleep but consider: the man is so tired

[critical-goat]

The Brothers Animal Forms

I know animal forms are something talked about a lot, but... I also wanted to chip in my two sense on the matter <3

Also thank you to the Discord server pals for inspiring this. All chosen for fun rather than realism.

 general head canons

while they can choose what animal they turn into, it takes extra energy to maintain a form that isn’t their familiar animal

they can’t exactly how that form appears, so their appearance for that form is consistent each transformation, but not necessarily the same compared to other forms

Lucifer

His default animal form is, unsurprisingly, a peacock. He’s been known to occasionally turn into a bat or a wolf if the need arises.

His feathers are solid black and shiny and his tail feathers sport blindingly white eye stalks (if you stick him in a dark room they glow!!)

If he has to go with you while shapeshifted, he WILL park himself right on your shoulder like a cantankerous shoulder ornament. His tail feathers are always draped over your shoulder, looking like a kick ass cape and if he tucks his head around your neck just right, he could be mistaken for a weird and clunky accessory. He does eventually get to be too much for your shoulders (bc these bastards weigh like 20 pounds, its ok at first but after awhile it gets HEAVY)

Even as a bird, he has a stare that would make all but the hardiest turn tail and run and given that peacocks are dicks and prone to violence, no one would think twice about getting close. (it goes double when they realize holy shit its the freaking Avatar of Pride)

You’re going to be hard pressed to convince him to turn into anything else. His wolf form closely resembles Cerberus but don’t mention it or accuse him of loving his dog, he’ll deny everything.

If you try to convince people Lucifer is your emotional support animal, he will bite you when no one is looking. Affectionately and in a very unsexy manner.

Mammon

Default is a magpie, shiny black with a big white patch upon his chest. Sees no reason to turn into anything else. (I can see him taking a liking to ferrets just to hang off your shoulder like a floppy noodle)

Mammon refuses to NOT go with you, so he’ll sneak his little birdy butt into your bags when you go somewhere and hide out until you get somewhere he can (spy on) guard you from afar.

He’s found its a lot easier to snitch anything that catches his eye when he’s a bird, but he also doesn’t.... really have a way to distinguish bird instinct saying “oh, shiny. must keep” and “oh that’s something actually valuable” and at the end of the day he has more stuff that bird brain thought was valuable than things that are actually valuable.

Might explain why he tends to get away his thievery.

Leviathan

Itty bitty little snake!! Only alternative is Very Big snake. Bigger than a house. Could probably bite a ship in half (are we sure that’s a snake and not his true form??)

Narrow face and dark sleek scale. Longer than he is thick (wait are we still talking about snakes or- *bonk*)

Wraps himself around your neck like a scarf, and as much as he wants to hide away from prying eyes, could NEVER work up the courage to hide himself in your clothes, especially wrapping around your torso. What, are you trying to give him a heart attack or something!?

Please bring a sufficiently large enough bag for him to hide in, he can’t take all the stares.

Has the most boopable snoot. Do it. He’ll be upset if you do it in front of anyone.

Satan

Despite the current reputation of the unicorn in pop culture, there’s a reason they’re Satan’s familiars. The real ones are spiteful creatures and prone to fits of mischief.

But unicorns aren’t exactly..... inconspicuous or allowed into enclosed spaces. So he does have alternatives he often turns to instead. Go ahead and guess what he turns into...... If you guessed a cat, you are correct.

As a unicorn he’s a pale sandy color, with slender legs, hoof ‘feathering’, the traditional tufted tail, and a branching, jagged horn.

Cat Satan is rather petite, and ginger in color and the type of cat that will knock over a full glass of water for your attention. PET HIM DAMMIT. (Also has a boopable snoot, more receptive than Levi)

If you must bring him along as a cat, he will insist on trying to balance on your shoulder. Eventually gives up and settles for letting you cradle him oh so gently as you walk.

... It’s not that bad. Oh wait, is that Lucifer staring him down? Suddenly its become the best and only way to accompany you places. take that you cantankerous bastar-

Asmodeus

Scorpion bab. As much as he finds beauty in his insect familiar, they’re not for travel. Can usually be found as rabbit instead. (insert horny joke here) The prettiest little bun you’ll ever see. Has also been known to turn into a sparrow and a stag.

Tiny bun, can fit in your hands for optimal ease of carrying. Champagne colors, with cute lil droopy ears and a dark nose.

He insists you carry him with you one of two ways. On your shoulder and continuing to pet and cradle him or in a fashionable bag. No compromising on it either.

Adores the attention he gets from strangers. He is rather adorable, isn’t he? <3

Wait, Asmo stop charming people into giving you more pats you fiend.

Good luck getting untangled from all the crowding people.

Beelzebub

A fly. Has been known to turn into other bugs (mostly beetles) and not much else.

As a beetle, he’s a very bright and vibrant red color.

He’s followed you around as a fly before and it was ok for a bit.... but you keep mistaking him for a regular fly and swatting him, much to your horror. Its ok, he knows you wouldn’t have if you remembered (somehow that makes you feel worse than if he’d been upset)

Eventully he opted for the beetle instead (its not any less confusing some times but the number of swats goes down significantly)

You don’t know why, but for some reason you were possessed to bedazzle beetle Beel exactly once. He came out so very pretty. You even managed to tie a ribbon on one of his atennae. Very pretty indeed. You still have pictures of the incident.

Beel was a very good sport about it.

Belphegor

Cow man. He refuses to turn into anything else. Too much effort. Once he turns into a cow, you’ll have a cow on your hands for quite some time, finding that he doesn’t care enough to turn back just yet.

Fuzzy cow, very long fur, droopy ears, and big soulful eyes. Wicked dangerous horn, though. He’s tried to trample Lucifer a large handful of times, Diavolo at least twice, and tried to gore Satan once. (Satan won that battle and he decided never again)

You’re not getting him to go anywhere. Even if he could be convinced to physically moce somewhere, its not like anyone is gonna let a whole cow in.

And so, for a great many reasons, cow Belphie happens very rarely

He makes for a wonderful pillow though.

[yemilnisu]

INCORRECT HAIKYUU QUOTES FROM BUZZFEED UNSOLVED

nisu entries:

i got this idea from @memekingofwwiii and some of it are theirs 🙇🏻‍♀️ thank you for letting me add it here 😊 it’s a mixture from buzzfeed unsolved supernatural and true crime 👀 i really had fun doing this!

warning: swearing, mentions of death/murder/killing/blood/weed

「part 2」

Tendou: i did have a neighbor who had an overhang of a lime tree, and it was great because i could go pick a little lime.

Ushijima: did you ever think about killing your neighbor?

Tendou: when he didn't give me limes, yeah.

Ushijima: oh, okay; all right.

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Matsukawa: this is my bridge now, if you want it back you’re gonna have to kill me.

Oikawa: he did throw someone off the bridge once.

Matsukawa: fuck you, goatman!

Oikawa: Jesus Christ.

Kunimi: *behind the camera snickering as mattsun taunts the goatman much to oikawa’s dismay*

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Matsukawa: hey demons, it’s me, ya boi.

Matsukawa: if you want to eat my heart, turn that light on. If you want to eat oikawa’s heart, turn that light on...

Oikawa: don’t drag me into your shit, mattsun.

*torch turns on*

Oikawa: *screams*

Matsukawa: *laughs hysterically as he continues to lie on the pentagram*

Kunimi: *actual wheezing*

Matsukawa: i think this demon’s a wimp.

Oikawa: he’s out of his fucking mind.

Kunimi: *having the time of his life*

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Oikawa: every human's capable of murder if you push them enough. i just don't know if this is enough of a push.

Iwaizumi: okay.

Oikawa: it's true!

Iwaizumi: is that so?

Oikawa: yeah.

Oikawa: i bet you you would murder me if I pushed you enough.

Iwaizumi: yeah, probably.

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Tsukishima: …

Tsukishima: so, you're telling me, at nine years old, you don’t go to church. the first time you cross the threshold into holy ground,

Nishinoya: *makes noise and imitates blood coming out of his nose*

Tsukishima: blood expels from your nostrils?

Nishinoya: yeah, yeah. they ran outta tissues! mopping that up.

Tsukishima: …

Nishinoya: it was wild!

Tsukishima: it sounds wild.

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Kuroo: i think it was the neighbor. look, i’m a simple man. i see a trail of blood going to someone's house. even if they didn't do it, come on; you're going to jail.

Kenma: i think it might've been a random person.

Kuroo: all right.

Kenma: it just seems too obvious.

Kuroo: okay.

Kenma: there's a paper trail of their feud. why the hell would he be that dumb?

Kuroo: rage, you know? lust, rage. rage just- just building up, bursting out.

Kenma: well, i've never really gotten that angry. i don't really have that capacity.

Kuroo: it's building. it's building inside you. everyone sees it; we all see it.

Kenma: that's great. oh man, i can't wait for krakatoa then.

Kuroo: *shuddering* oh- oh- i shudder.

Kenma: hope no one's in the way 😺

Kuroo: …

Kuroo: scary.

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Daichi: he allegedly chased his mother with an axe when he was 19.

Asahi: not great.

Daichi: (wheeze) no? not off- off to a bad start?

Asahi: no good. i’ve never done that. you didn’t do that did you?

Daichi: no! i didn't- what- is there anything to suggest that I would chase my mom with an axe?

Asahi: (inhales) not outright i feel like if you peel the layers back.

Daichi: you think if you peel the layers back from this onion, you'll see something you don’t want to see?

Asahi: yeah. i think you wear a mask sometimes 😅

Daichi: mm-hmm i think you should keep digging and maybe see what happens 🙂

Asahi: uh no i'm good 🧍🏻‍♂️

Daichi: *staring at asahi*

Asahi: 👁👄👁💧

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Osamu: my takeaway is people from chicago are weird.

Atsumu: the- this does not represent chicago. this is people and go "ey! chicago tylenol murders"

Osamu: (laugh) home with the beam, the cubs and the chicago tylenol murders and of course our nation's greatest tragedy, miya atsumu.

Atsumu: that- that's not me.

Osamu: i read it somewhere 🤷🏻

Atsumu: no, you didn’t, you probably wrote it.

Osamu: yeah.

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Suna: i’d love to be an heiress.

Kita: (snickers)

Suna: i know she’s probably gonna disappear or something.

Kita: so you wanna be a trust fund baby?

Suna: i’d like someone to give me a lot of money for doing nothing. but i want-

Kita: and then you wanna disappear?

Suna: yes. i want to get a lot of money and then vanish from the face of the earth.

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Ennoshita: her family believed that when she left at 11:30 am, she had as much as $30 in her purse, which in today’s dollars would be more than $750.

Nishinoya: holy moly!

Tanaka: that’s a lot of quiche—

Nishinoya: yeah.

Tanaka: that’s a lot of quiche.

Nishinoya: thirty bucks going that far in 1910.

Tanaka: i don’t even have $750 in my bank account.

Nishinoya: i’ve never had $750 in my pocket! i rarely have had $30 in my pocket.

Ennoshita: well i don’t really carry cash anymore-

Nishinoya & Tanaka: who does!?

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Yaku: stop number one, mothman statue.

Lev: it looks very ornate.

Yaku: *shocked that lev knows that word*

Yaku: you’ll be able to stare at it eye to eye.

Lev: what’s that supposed to mean?

Yaku: it means you’re eight feet tall, it’s a tall joke. get it?

Lev: 🧍🏼

Yaku: 🤦🏼‍♂️

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Akaashi: any... any thought in that so far?

Bokuto: (fart sound) nope. what year is it, ‘66?

Akaashi: ‘66.

Bokuto: few teens out there probably smoking a few funny cigarettes.

Akaashi: you could say weed. it’s 2018.

Bokuto: ...some grass.

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Kageyama: so my guess is the couples were somewhere around here, maybe on that road over there.

Hinata: yeah.

Kageyama: and i'm not sure of the exact location but this is where they saw him stumbling around.

Hinata: they just… saw him kinda shambling?

Kageyama: yeah.

Hinata: big shambling man. kinda *shuffling his body*

Kageyama: i- i don’t know, maybe he was just taking a walk, i mean, what's it to you?

Hinata: why would you take a walk if you had wings?

Kageyama: he's a fucking creature, he can do what he wants.

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Kuroo: but all im saying is that what you need to gather from this is that he has an effect on people's psyche.

Lev: this mothman's a complicated character.

Kuroo: what does he sound like? what does he sound like?

Lev: he sound like the blood bird.

Kuroo: …

Lev: flappy spookster.

Kuroo: …

Kuroo: that's- come on.

Kuroo: *glances over to lev's notes*

Lev: the winged wretch. did i already say that?

Kuroo: this just says fright terror.

Kuroo: *throws away the notes*

Lev: you know, just call him batman, why is that hard? 😩

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

(howling)

Goshiki: what the fuck.

Shirabu: well those are coyotes… or dogs. Or a large pack of something.

Goshiki: holy shit.

Shirabu: just some coyotes.

Goshiki: are you not fucking alarmed right now?

Shirabu: are you scared? (laugh)

Goshiki: dude wait- this goes beyond belief, that was a pack of, whatever the fuck that was.

Shirabu: it was coyotes!

Goshiki: is that our cue to leave? i think maybe. we've been out here for quite a bit.

Shirabu: yeah, i don’t know if were gonna find anything tonight.

Goshiki: i don’t wanna be in the mouth of some coyote later, that's not how i want the picture wrap on old tsutomu to be.

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Atsumu: air force one? they filmed air force one here?

Atsumu: air force one actually, now that i think of it, remember the reason they hijacked the plane is to release for the-

Sakusa: i’m gonna go ahead and cut you off right there 'cause i don’t give a shit.

Sakusa: we’re gonna move over here.

Atsumu: …okay.

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Kai: four people in a cell, that's a lot

Kuroo: i mean, you put any normal people in a room that's too small. like if you’re in a dorm in college, if you hate your roommate…

Kai: it's tough business

Kuroo: listening to music too loud when i'm trying to study

Kai: hwfrrrrr…

Kuroo: cookin' uhh… top ramen in the microwave when i'm trying to sleep

Kai: you got some axes to grind?

Kuroo: no.

Kai: oh

Kuroo: fuck you, daishou.

Kai: daishou?

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

(distant thud)

Yamamoto: what the fuck?

Kenma: :3

Yamamoto: is all i have to say to that.

Kenma: they didn’t like the thumb talk.

Yamamoto: you didn't like the thumb talk? was it too much thumb talk? i thought we went about two minutes long on the-

(distant thud)

Kenma: they don’t like the thumb talk.

Yamamoto: *looking around in shock*

Kenma: *stopping himself from laughing*

Yamamoto: uhhhh… holy fuck. holy fuck, holy fuck. if you’re one of the people that had that thumb thing to happen to you, that sucks. what was it like?

Kenma: what do you think you're gonna get right now? 😑

Yamamoto: i feel like we should go see what that is, to be honest.

Kenma: *shakes his head*

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Tsukishima: we’re walking over to the source of the disturbance.

Hinata: hello? (sigh) i’m gonna lose my mind. so, it did that twice within the span of 10 seconds but nothing else?

Tsukishima: but, we can confirm that it did sound like this right? *slams the cabinet door*

Hinata: yeah.

Tsukishima: that was the sound.

Hinata: do you think the wind’s gonna do that twice?

Tsukishima: *blows on the cabinet door*

Tsukishima: not moving 🙄

Hinata: well, shit.

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Sugawara: oh there it is. it’s that. *pointing to where the sound was coming from*

Asahi: what?

Sugawara: there’s a logical explanation for you.

Asahi: ah! okay, there it is. well, there you go, there you go.

Sugawara: but, if we hadn’t seen that...

Asahi: if we hadn’t seen that we would be fooled 😅

Sugawara: no, we wouldn’t have been fooled. you would have been telling me for months.

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

*inside the prisoners of ohio state penitentiary*

Kageyama: this is fucking terrible.

Tsukishima: it’s the opportunity of a lifetime to be here.

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Tendou: i’m separating from the group.

Semi: it’s the ideal time to kill him.

Tendou: yeah i mean, if i were gonna die in camera it would be a pretty noble thing.

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Osamu: I don’t understand what’s wrong with atsumu sometimes.

Atsumu: what was that?

Osamu: i didn’t say anything.

Atsumu: you sure you didn’t say anything, ‘samu?

Osamu: now go back and set ‘em off to make sure they work.

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Sakusa: *inhales*

Atsumu: *inhales*

Sakusa: you need to back up from me. i can feel your air intake. it’s like a gross nasal jet, i don’t know.

Atsumu: *takes a step towards sakusa*

Sakusa: uh no *takes a step backwards*

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Futakuchi: latch yourself onto my soul, come back to hollywood with me, and destroy the lives of all my friends and coworkers.

Koganegawa: a little hard to follow, but i like where you’re going.

Futakuchi: kogane’s family has a little-

Koganegawa: ey! ey! do-! do-! don’t!

Futakuchi: -dog named mickey.

Koganegawa:*trying to stop futakuchi*

Futakuchi: real good. you wanted me to give it my all. i’m throwing stuff on the table.

Koganegawa: insults, not personal information. you’re giving him a dossier on my life!

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[britishassistant]

Supervillain AU! I formally request the special addition of Yuu’s first kidnapping please.

Thank you for the ask, dear anon!

“Yoo-hoo, Reporter-chan? Wakey-wakey, it’ll be bad for you if you don’t get up soon~”

Yuu shakes their head groggily, the sing-songy voice not helping the pounding in their temple.

“Did someone get the number of the truck that hit me?” They mumble, blinking to try and get their eyes to focus.

“Dammit Deuce, you gave them brain damage.” A familiar, much more annoyed sounding voice said. “Their head’s gonna be all screwy and useless now, dumbass.”

“It was just a lovetap though!” A third voice, also familiar, protested.

The floor finally stopped moving in front of their eyes and Yuu realized some very important things.

One, the floor they were staring at was not the floor of the library where they last remembered being.

Two: Their arms and legs seemed to be tied tight to the arms and legs of an iron garden chair.

Three: There are many odd-looking people standing near them, all in clothes that are too coordinated not to be a uniform but too outlandish to represent a government group of some kind.

Oh Great Seven, Yuu thinks with a rising sort of hysteria. It’s finally happened.

Clowns have come to take me away for not brushing my teeth enough like Mom said when I was little.

“...Are ya sure you didn’t break ‘em?”

“...”

“Deuce.”

Yuu wonders if they should feel offended at being talked around like this.

“Enough of this nonsense!” A hand seizes Yuu’s chin and pulls their head up to face the latest speaker. An imperious-looking young man stands and walks towards the reporter, clicking his fingers. “Three of Clovers.”

A tall man in glasses hands the imperious young man what Yuu recognizes as their wallet. The shorter man glances at the contents disdainfully. “You. First and last name and age, now.”

“Y-Yuu Radcliffe, 23 years.” The reporter stutters, their initial hysteria morphing into a sinking feeling in their gut. If not the clowns, then... “Can I ask who I have the pleasure of talking to?”

“No.” The redhead holding their wallet snaps. “Current occupation and birthday?”

“Field reporter at TWST local news.” They force themselves to relax the fists their hands have balled into. “March 18th.”

Remember what Uncle Divvy always says. Stay calm, act cooperative, do or say whatever you need to to avoid injury. Any supervillains on this level trying to curry favor with or blackmail the dumb bird will have to go through Uncle Divvy first to contact him, and he’ll take care of the rest.

All Yuu needs to do is keep themselves alive until then.

They still can’t help but dread what they know is coming next.

The supervillain seems to notice their distress, and smirks cruelly. He takes his time walking forward and leaning down until he’s on the reporter’s eye level, hands resting on the back of the chair and eyes flicking over their face, almost as if he’s savoring the moment before he makes their life that much more painful.

Yuu braces themselves as he opens his mouth–!

“What is the best type of tea?”

Huh?

“Wait, what? I don’t—” Yuu asks, backpedalling as the supervillain’s face grows stormy at their lack of response. “Uuh...green tea? I guess? I mean, it’s the one I like the most, but I’m more of a coffee or hot cocoa person, so I’m not the best one to ask...”

The person holding their chin sucks in through their teeth and the annoyed familiar voice outside their periphary snickers “Oooh, busted~”

The supervillain is beginning to go as red as his hair, and the reporter can hear his teeth grinding. His hands are now gripping the back of the chair so tight Yuu would almost swear they hear the metal by their ears creak.

“Ri–Royal.” The man with glasses says.

The supervillain inhales and exhales almost violently, until what’s visible of his face under that mask is looking less flushed.

“The correct answer,” He says, voice trembling with emotion. “Was all teas at their due times. To drink green tea instead of rosehip at breakfast, or lemon tea at 8pm...the nerve of your arrogance is astounding!”

Yuu...genuinely isn’t sure how they’re supposed to respond to that. Instead they just go with, “I’m sorry, I’ve never had rosehip or lemon tea. Do you like them?”

“Do I—?!” The supervillain’s mouth works soundlessly, gradually going red again. He pushes off the chair sharply. “I—the ro—i-it’s not a matter of liking!! These are the Rules!! And the Rules must be obeyed!! Three of Clovers!”

“Yes, Royal Flush?” The glasses man asks.

“The reporter is forbidden from having any montblanc after dinner, and will take two cups of lemon tea at 8pm tonight and two cups of rosehip tomorrow at breakfast.” Royal Flush flashes them a cruel smirk. “Consider it a light punishment for your impertinence.”

Yuu blinks. Tries to make sense of what they’ve just heard.

Blinks again.

“You know if you just wanted to ask me out to dinner, I’d have taken a nice invitation or a bouquet. You didn’t need to knock me out and tie me up like this, I’m not that picky. I do have Tinder.”

Glasses guy makes a choking noise and erupts into a coughing fit.

The hand that’s been holding Yuu’s chin migrates to their shoulder for support as its owner lets out an undignified snort and gasps out something that sounds vaguely like “why wasn’t I recording, that was Magicam gold!” as he giggles. He’s a redhead too, but much more orange than his boss.

There’s a sputter of hysterical laughter that has Yuu twisting their head to see the two guys and the cat from the hydroelectric plant, both with these odd-looking metal collars around their necks, but otherwise unharmed. The talking cat is trussed up in so many ropes that it looks more like a bobblehead, also wearing a weird collar.

The third redheaded one is bracing his hands on his knees, wheezing out a litany of “holy shit, holy shit” between chortles. The dark haired one is holding the cat a confused expression, cutting off his friend’s laughter when he turns to ask, “Ace, what’s tinder?”

The momentary silence lets an odd squeaking noise be heard.

One that gradually grows in volume until it’s an outright screech coming from the supervillain in front of them. He’s so red Yuu is honestly worried about his blood pressure, pointing a shaking finger at them.

“I—YOU—YOU—OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!!!”

Yuu chokes a little at the feeling of cold metal materializing around their neck, dragging their head down with its weight. The supervillain continues screeching, refusing to even look at the reporter. “YOU—! DUNGEON! RIGHT NOW!! NO DESSERTS!! GO!!”

There’s an awkward moment as Royal Flush turns away from them, as if expecting them to get up and walk out of their own accord while his back is to them.

“...So, does that mean you want them to untie me or something, or...?” Yuu wiggles their firmly bound hands and feet for emphasis.

The supervillian makes a sound like a kettle whistling, before he barks out. “Two of Spades! Ace of Hearts! GET them OUT OF MY SIGHT until they’re WILLING to COOPERATE!!”

The dark haired young man quickly shuffles forward, grabs the back of the chair, and drags it and the poor reporter attached to it out of the room and into the corridor. The metal screeches as it moves from carpet to concrete.

“Wh—Two, no, untie them first.” The man with glasses says, despairing, appearing in the doorway. “You’ll mark up the floor otherwise.”

“Ah! Sorry, senpai!” Two looks between the cat in his arms and the knots on the chair, before shoving the cat into the arms of the redhead who answers to “Ace”. Neither of them look happy with this development.

“Fgnah! Quit squeezing, ya jerk!” The cat protests, wriggling as best it can.

“Oh? What’s that? I’m sorry, I just need to make sure that greatest, lamest supervillain in the city doesn’t escape to go setting random crap in the lair on fire again.” Ace says sweetly, grip tightening.

“Tha’s your fault, an’ you know it!” The cat wheezes out, thrashing harder.

Yuu winces. “Hey, quit hurting him. Whatever he did, he doesn’t deserve this.”

The dark haired minion barks out a laugh as he tugs the ropes away from their right wrist while his redheaded counterpart sneers at them.

“Oh really? Bet you’ll change your tune real quick once you learn it’s thanks to him you’re here in the first place.” Ace of Hearts mocks. “Dumb monster sang like a damn canary when Royal pressured him a tiiiny bit, saying it was all your fault his precious ingredient is now in the sewers.”

“Tha’s a lie!” The monster? cat blurts out too quickly for comfort. “It’s all these two morons, I swear!”

“Why you little—“

“I don’t care.” Yuu cuts in before Two of Spades can hit the animal. “I didn’t destroy that thing, but even if none of you said anything, your boss would’ve found out I was involved anyway from watching my report on it on the news. So I don’t care, just-just quit hurting him.”

There’s a tense moment as the two minions stare down at the reporter. They do their best to meet the gazes without flinching.

Then the Ace of Hearts tosses the cat into their lap as the Two of Spades sinks back down to keep working on their ankle. “Fine. Since you like it so much, you can take care of it. Just don’t expect me to cover for your ass—you still owe me for the power plant.”

“I’m sorry?” Yuu curls their free arm around the bundle of rope, fur, and yowling insults and pulls it closer to them. “Shouldn’t that be the other way round?”

“You locked me in a closet with him!” Ace hisses. “Do you know how hard it was to get out before the cops came with him freaking out and messing stuff up?!”

“Oi.” Two shoots him a dark look from where he’s finished untying the reporter’s left hand. “Like you weren’t whining about us being digested until you knocked a broom over!”

“Sh-shut up!”

“Well excuse me for trying to save your lives.” Yuu bites back, rubbing the rope marks on their wrists. “Next time I’ll just run and let the sludge monster eat your unconscious bodies.”

“It’d save us all the trouble of this shit if you did!” Ace spits, jabbing a finger at his collar. “At least then we wouldn’t be on Royal’s shit list!”

Yuu lets the piece of information they were just given marinate in their brain as they glare at him. Well, now what exactly was that supposed to mean?

“Ngh...this knot won’t come loose.” Two says from by the reporter’s left foot.

“How about now?” Replies an unfamiliar voice, as a disembodied hand pulls deftly at a loop in the rope.

“Ah!” Two of Spades brightens up as the rest of the rope falls away. “Thanks a lot—”

The disembodied hand punches him in the face.

Yuu cries out in alarm at the sight of the minion falling backwards into the Ace of Hearts, knocking him down like a bowling pin.

A pair of clawed hands are then scooping them up, extra cat and all, and the reporter finds themself looking at the unsettlingly wide smile and purple cat ears of one of the city’s top heroes, running at full speed while sharpened playing cards whizz past his face and Ace calls out behind them “Senpai! It’s him again!!”

There’s a percussive boom somewhere in the distance, and screams of how the flamingos are loose as the hero winks down at Yuu. “Seems you’re a popular one today, kitten! But let’s get you back to where you where before you were so rudely catnapped, yes?”

“Not so fast, hero!” The orange haired guy choruses from the entrance to the staircase, and—from behind them as well?

The reporter’s heart sinks as more and more versions of the minion keep popping up around them, to the point where the hero is forced to stand on the bannister of the balcony they’re on.

And based on the fact that the hero hasn’t used his invisibility? Intangibility? powers, it’s likely that he can’t use them while holding Yuu and the cat.

They’re surrounded.

“You really can’t keep your paws out of anything that’s mine, can you?” Royal Flush’s tone is clipped as he glares up at the hero.

“Hey R-kun, Three-kun!” The hero pouts, hugging Yuu closer to his chest. “I come a~ll this way to play, only to find you’ve got a nyew toy you’re already playing with without me! How mean! You guys really are cruel!!”

“We’re sorry about that.” Three of Clovers says, edging closer. “If you just hand the reporter over to Four, they’ll be put away and we can all “play” together, no distractions. Doesn’t that sound nice?”

The hero makes a deliberating noise, holding Yuu out and away from him over the drop, tilting his head this way and that.

His grin grows unsettlingly wider.

“Look, R-kun, Three-kun!” The hero calls out. “Nyo hands!”

Wait, what—

The hero’s body vanishes.

Yuu and the monster cat plummet screaming past the illogically winding staircases of the evil lair.

Yuu tries to angle their body so that the frantically crying cat will be shielded from the brunt of the fall—!

“NO!!”

There’s a sound like glass shattering, and a feeling of being enveloped in something soft, cold and buoyant. The two of them bounce a few times and land back on it more gently each time.

Yuu cracks open their eyes to see that they’re seated on a strange, red, jelly-like mass. The cat in their arms tentatively sniffs, and then lunges to take a bite out of their cushion before the reporter can stop him.

“Shtrawberry?” He says through a full mouth. “Tashtes good!”

The reporter grabs him before he can go for another bite, a little thrown by his speed now that collar isn’t weighing him down. But where did this thing come from–?

Yuu looks up.

Royal Flush is leaning dangerously far over the balcony countless flights of stairs above them, one arm outstretched down towards them.

They stare at each other for a moment.

Then clawed hands fasten around Yuu’s waist again with a cheery “Nyow wasn’t that fun?” and Royal Flush visibly tenses and begins screaming things after the escaping hero that are barely legible through his rage.

The hero deposits them both outside the TWST news station with their wallet and phone back in their pockets. He at least helps them untie the monster cat, who promptly declares he just let them protect him, and scarpers.

Of course the hero is gone too when Yuu turns back around, before they can ask him what the hell he was playing at, dropping them like that, was he insane?! If Royal Flush hadn’t interfered...

The reporter has to fight the urge to lose their lunch.

Their boss rushes out and envelopes them in a surprisingly powerful hug, the woman almost lifting the reporter off their feet as she babbles about whether or not Yuu needs a hospital after getting kidnapped by one of the seven major supervillains.

Yuuken is quick to join the embrace with a bear hug of his own. He pulls back, fingers prodding gently at Yuu’s bruised temple and declaring he’ll drive them to hospital to make sure they don’t have a concussion.

He graciously waits until they’re in the car to ask why Yuu smells so much of strawberries.

The reporter can only give a half answer, partly because they don’t want to worry him, and partly because they have another question of their own buzzing incessantly around their brain.

Why was Yuu kidnapped in the first place?

Royal Flush never even mentioned Crowley, despite all the chances he had to do so. Not even an oblique or confusing metaphor or code. Does that mean he’s ignorant of the connection between Yuu and the League?

But if that’s the case, it circles back around to the first question: why kidnap Yuu to begin with?

Somehow the reporter doubts it was to just ask their tea preferences or invite them to dinner.

Those minions referred to that monster as Royal Flush’s “precious ingredient”. Ingredient for what? Is there something that Royal Flush thinks they witnessed that’s integral to a scheme? Did they witness something and just not realize it’s significance?

Yuu’s reporter senses are screaming that there’s a deeper story to uncover here. Yuu’s common sense is screaming that investigating the dangerous plans of the supervillain they’ve just escaped from is a terrible idea.

Though he could have just...let them fall. But he didn’t. And won’t he just kidnap them again regardless?

...

This is a terrible idea.

But if Yuu’s common sense was stronger than their reporter senses, then they wouldn’t be in this city in the first place, would they?

[jay-zzz87]

Random TOH questions because I am bored. I found these questions on Twitter (I'll link them in the source) but I just thought why not.

Favorite Character?

Willow and Hunter. It's hard to pick just one, but they are definitely my favorites. Hunter is too relatable and Willow is just wholesome.

Least favorite character?

Kikimora. I think it's pretty self explanatory but she did try to kill Hunter and is nothing but a kiss ass.

If you were in hexside, would you study more than 1 magic or just 1? And tell which ones!! (Basically what track would you be in)

I think it depends. If I was given the choice to study more than one track then I probably would. And it would be healing and bard. If I could only study one then it would just be bard.

Favorite ship?

I don't know weither to count Lumity since they are an official couple now. If not then Raeda.

Favorite crack ship?

Goldric or Huntira. Can't pick but people draw the ships so soft and it's cute.

Promote yourselfs ! edits, art, fanfics, anything!

Hi. Welcome to my tumblr.

What's your favorite piece of crew art?

This is one that Dana drew. I love the crew's art so much but this is so relatable because I have a bird and he is the same way.

8. If you could be one character, who would you be?

Raine. Purely because they can play the violin and I play the violin.

9. According to your friends, what character do you remind them of? (Ask friends!/nf)

A majority of them said King because I crave destruction. Others said it was because I'm short. I'M NOT THAT SHORT OK?

10. Top kinnie?

Hunter, all the way.

11. Any theories of what will happen in season 2b?

I think that Lumity might break up and get back together. I have more but there's things I'm not entirely certain about. So that's all I'm gonna share.

12. What ship would you KILL for to be canon?

That's actually a good question. If you sked me before season 2a I would've said Lumity. But now I don't really ship anyone else other than Raine and Eda. But even then it seems like it's going to become a thing so I don't really have one.

13. If you were a demon, what species would you be? Biped? Witch? Human? Griffins? Bug? Or beast? All up to you? And whichever you choose, is there a reason why?

If I were to choose, I would choose witch. But I feel like I would be a biped.

14. If you lived in owl house.. would you rather live in the demon realm, or human realm?

Demon Realm. The human world is boring compared to the demon realm. It would be a very interesting place to see.

15. Favourite adult? (Ex: raine, eda, camila, lilith, basically hags/hj )

Raine because I would like take bard lessons from them. And Camila because she reminds me of my mom.

16. Favourite teenager? (Ex: willow, gus, amity)

Hunter and Willow. I've said why in question one.

17. If you had a palisman, what would it be?

My bird Luca. He is a budgerigar bird.

18. Emperors coven, wild witch, or one track?

Emperor's coven. I'm a competitive person so I would always strive for the top. Ofc being a wild wotch would cross my mind, but i don't wanna be held in the comfomitorium.

19. Favorite Owl House AU?

Belos adopts Luz AU. I just like writing about it. Even if I don't have the time.

20. Whats a thing you LOVE about owl house?

Man I can't even pick one. There's so many thing that I love about this show. I guess the fact that it inspired me to start writing. That and the lore behind it all. There is so much mystery behind and it always blows my mind away when a new episode is released.

21. A thing/someone thats very underappreciated in owl house?

Willow and Gus's magic. HOLY SHIT ARE THEY POWERFUL. I don't think people realized the amount of potential these two characters have. There are so many questions I have about them and about their powers. It's evident that they are not like the average teen so I would like to see more background knowledge about them.

There are more questions, but they are about opinions on certain things so I'll do them later.

[half-blood-goods]

Watching The Mummy Returns for the first time, enjoy the live commentary

Oh cool, immediately into battle again

Wait isn't the Scorpion King a movie

Y'all just started walking into the middle of the desert, what was the plan there

Not the evil Anubis bullshit please. I'm so tired of Underworld Gods portrayed as evil. My man was just doing his job.

Hello there handsome man

Oh god, why

Why is there a child 😭

Why are y'all back in tombs, last time wasn't enough?

Oh, dreams, gotcha

NOPE NOPE NOPE

Wrong place for tarantulas

None of the side characters will live till the end, especially not these 3 fuckers, I can already tell

Excuses moi? Whomst U ma'am?

Oh, a vision

Homegirl low-key acts like the entire last movie didn't even happen

Aaaand the certain doom box contains....

Oh cool, the bracelet

This scene single handedly contained more water than the entire last movie

Oh cool, we going back to last place

Diggin' a hole, diggin' a hole

Hey ma'am, why are you looking so good? Weren't you a mummy last time?

Where the fuck did you get both books?

Not the fucking scarabs again

What the fuck is that

Oh, it's Imhotep

✨ exposition✨

Why the FUCK would you put than on your hand you STUPID kid

MY MAN

Oh the Cleopatra treatment? Classic.

TATTOO GUY MY BELOVED

Damn girl, you weren't slacking these last years were you?

✨dramatic cape flip✨

Oh cool, we are saving the world again

Why would you leave a figurative child and a literal child alone in a car?

Ooohh it's a cult. Probably should've pick this up earlier

Oh that's a bit early for the mummies to show up

Sup Imhotep, how have you been?

Is this chick like a spiritual successor or something?

Perfect timing my dude

There's a lot more guns this time and I'm not sure if I like it

THEY JUST TOOK A BUS LMAO

Hope you have insurance on that car buddy

Damn these priests have been practicing

YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE EYES

The opposite of Yeet the kid: Yoink the kid

You know I would appreciate some subtitles for these two

Nice to see a fellow monsterfucker

It's the fucking plague box again

Suddenly you learned English my dude?

See I told you, one fucker down, probably the other 2 too

This Izzy guy will never top old guy, no one will

In his defense, i would have also stabbed that kid's hand if he started the "Are we there yet" bullshit

Imhotep cleaned up good again, but his monster form is still hotter

I hate when they make the villains suddenly incompetent when they have to move on with the plot

I'm low-key confused on what's going on. Why were they fighting and why did they show up the bracelet

W h a t

Ooohhh he brought back his wife

Oh he's leaving context clues. Smart kid.

Wooooahhh. That's a LOT of people

✨water magic✨

Thank God the bird is okay

We goin' on a jungle tour

NOOO NOT THE BIRD I FUCKING JINXED IT

I do NOT like the shrunken heads, thank you very much

I'm getting strong "Don't go into the tall grass" ala Jurassic Park vibes

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

I DON'T LIKE THESE FUCKING TINY-TIKI WANNABES

GET FUCKED, THIS IS FOR THE BIRD

TATTOO GUY NOOO

DON'T FUCKING SCARE ME LIKE THAT AGAIN

That was lucky timing

HOLY FUCK

She's not dead is she? Like, she's gonna come back, right? RIGHT?

Did he just lost his magic?

You know all this scorpion stuff and they didn't even mention Serquet once, I'm kinda disappointed

This guy really isn't looking too stoked about his sister's death

Again, why am I more invested in the villain side's love story?

Oooh, I like the soldiers' design

It's rematch time

Coooool design for the Scorpion King

WAIT IS THAT THE FUCKING ROCK?!

HOLY SHIT THAT'S A LOT OF SOLDIERS

VICTORY

This was a long-ass climax

BETRAYAL

THIS IS WHAT YOU GET, BITCH

Oh god this wonky ass CGI is killing me

Oh hey, I forgot this guy existed

Peace out Tattoo Guy, i never learned your name but you're still the best

Well this movie was... something

Definitely worse than the first one. I felt like this has way too much action and the characters had way less breathing space. Plot was kinda all over the place. Still a solid movie, i guess a 6.5-7/10

All I know is that there's a 3rd one which is like, completely detours from these ones? Which is never a good sign honestly. THANK GOD THE CHILD WASN'T AWFUL. I was fearing that honestly from the minute i saw him, but he did a good job. Also is the Scorpion King movie related to this Scorpion King in this one or is it unrelated? I gotta check later.

[yakumtsaki]

Welcome, dear readers, to part 1 of the finale to the BackupKingdom2 saga! We’re in our final ambition now, let’s check how Liz’s post-divorce-bloodbath is going..

Oh yes, excellent. Our path to death-achievement-glory has been paved with so many executions that wherever I look I see npcs crying..

..comforting each other..

..and in Agnes' case, coming straight to Liz to.. ask for mercy for the populace I guess?? Bruh. I can't believe we even brought down AGNES, truly this is the saddest kingdom on earth. Amazing job, Liz, you've definitely earned your place in the tyrant hall of fame!

Now a lesser player would be like "oh, maybe we should chill a little on the insane tyrant thing, finish the Pirate/Noble arc cause we've been dragging this war out so the pirates/guildsmen would keep spawning and it should have ended like 20 quests ago" and true, we could just end it, we ran a very effective operation around here, shoutout to MVPs Donius and Bellinda and their 'seductive' legendary traits:

They bedded them and Liz beheaded them, the power of teamwork! So one could say that we should consider raising kingdom morale now because everyone is so depressed but I think, if anything, now is the time to ramp it up and go for some of the other morally questionable achievements! Like Machiavelli said, you should commit all your atrocities at once! What do you think, Liz? Ready to get atrocious?

-OH FUCK YEA, I’M ENRAGED, I DROPPED MY FIDDLE IN THE PIT AND NOW I HAVE TO WAIT FOR THE SERVANT TO GET ME A NEW ONE!! WHY DOES EVERYTHING ALWAYS HAPPEN TO ME >:(

Aw I’m sorry Liz, but I’m sure you the upcoming suffering of your subjects will cheer you up!

-Ok motherfuckers, by order of the Crown aka ME -you hear that Rae?? ME, NOT YOU. God I want to execute you so bad, fucking ingrate, do you remember what rags you were wearing when I hired you??  

Let’s get this back on track, Liz.

-Right, so by order of the Crown, Magus Olivia and Spymaster Spainot are given COMPLETE LEGAL IMMUNITY to do whatever the fuck they want in the interest of earning achievements, so don’t you people come crying to me cause I don’t give one tiny chinchilla crap about your health and livelihoods. If you need me for something actually important, I'll be at the gates, executing anyone who doesn't like my fiddle playing.

-Oh man, this folksy peasant hat isn’t protecting my ears enough.

-THOUGHT I WOULDN’T HEAR YOUR LITTLE MURMUR, DID YOU  -YOUR MAJESTY NO I ONLY MEANT MY EARS WERE COLD -WELL ALL OF YOUR BODY’S ABOUT TO BE COLD NOW! CONSTABLE, THROW THIS PEASANT IN THE PIT

-Death marker? I hardly know 'er!

So the Constable npc has this little Billy Elliot subplot going, I'm pretty sure he has the 'drunkard' fatal flaw because he was always at the tavern so I had Bellinda try to hire him to perform in one of her plays just to see what would happen and it actually worked, and now he moonlights as an actor! It's cute but it also takes forever for him to come arrest people.

-THEY LOVE ME ❤️😁 -CONSTABLE WHATSYOURNAME, COME OVER HERE AND DO YOUR FUCKING JOB OR YOU'RE NEXT FOR THE PIT

-No one knows what it's like to be the bad man, to be the sad man, when someone dies😢

In the background you can see that Bellinda just got a pregnancy bump, it’s her lovechild with Donius, I for real can’t keep these two apart. Anyway, the time has come..

..to unleash Magus Olivia onto the populace.

-You know what, I'd rather not, this book is finally getting good and I'm sick of cursing peasants, it doesn't even drop their mood that much..

Oh no, Olivia my beloved, we're not cursing them, we're going for the 'Well Done' achievement!

-NO WAY.

WAY.

-Won't I be executed??

You have immunity! You can do whatever you want!! And, AND, once you complete it, because I know it's tiring, I'll give you a magic skeletal parrot as a gift!! Edward got all the materials for it while treasure-hunting, you'd think I'd let him keep it but that's not the kind of shop I'm running here.

-This is my face of pure, childlike happiness!

Good lord, it’s terrifying, please don’t look at me like that.

-Alright, time to roll down my sleeves so they look more sinister and do this thing.

You can do it, Olivia!

-Of course I can, save your reassurance for the flops that need it.

-I.. cast.. INFERNO!

...

-What?

I mean really, those are the words, "I cast inferno"? Can't you say something with more evil magical flair?

-Not when I have to cast it 80 fucking times I can't.

-IT BURNS, IT BURNSSSSS

Oh how the tables have turned, usually it's the witch that gets burned, huhu! Did you hear that, Olivia? Did you like my joke??

-Oh, it's beautiful!

Well it wasn't one of my best-

-Not you, you needy moron, the sight of burning flesh! I can't wait to do this 79 more times!

Alright, so everyone in the tavern has been turned into a chicken nugget, time to get some rest and check in with Spainot!

-Amazing news, Rodolfo, I just got royal permission to unlawfully lock up and interrogate whoever I want for the achievements!!!

-Darling, no offense, but aren't you a bit too shit at your job for that? -WHAT????

-FUCK YOU RODOLFO YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS OF MY SUCCESS -I WISH I WAS JEALOUS OF YOUR SUCCESS, THEN YOU'D BE SUCCESSFUL AND I WOULDN'T BE MARRIED TO A BROKE LOSER

-And then he says the only reason he hasn't dumped me is he doesn't wanna be a rando npc while Batshit Liz is on an execution spree, can you believe this bullshit? How can anyone be so hurtful??

-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA NO NO PLEASE DON'T HAVE THIS CHINCHILLA MAUL ME I'LL GIVE YOU WHATEVER YOU WANT

-How about you give me some marital advice, are you even listening?! Ugh.

That's right, while Olivia is inferno-ing the peasants, I've sicced Spainot on the nobility, specifically all those foreign diplomats that are always hanging in the reception hall, lagging up the place. We're going for the 100 interrogations achievement and we’ve installed a nice spiky torture chair right in the middle of the hall to save time! Now this is how we keep every stratum of society terrified enough to not realize that the person in charge is.. uh.. well you know:

-DANCE TO MY FIDDLE, PIRATE, DANCE!

-I AM!!!!!

-DANCE MORE ENTHUSIASTICALLY. ALL THE WAY TO THE PIT

After a couple days and several locations I feel we’re pretty close to 80 infernos!

I’d say we’ve burned a good 50-60% of the population at this point, everywhere I look I see singed townies-

-so we take this little barbecue to the palace because we’ve ran out of peasants and it’s time to start burning the foreign dignitaries. And it’s a good thing we do, because Olivia meets Nyrexis the Dragon!!!! 

Nyrexis is the human form of the dragon from a hilar quest where there’s a dragon in the kingdom and you can either befriend it or slay it, I had Bellinda befriend it:

So if you complete the befriend route of the quest, the human form of the dragon appears in town and is in love with whoever did the quest, in this case Bellinda. I am of course not about to waste Dragonfu on Bellinda’s basic ass, plus I feel Olivia is kind of a dragon with all the people she’s been burning so they have a lot in common! 

We dazzle Dragonfu with a coin trick! True magic at work.

-OMG IT WAS BEHIND MY EAR THE WHOLE TIME -I KNOW!

Good God, all of Olivia’s ‘happy’ expressions are terrifying, just don’t smile ever again, you’re too evil for it, you’re gonna scare the dragon away!

Or not!!!!

 AWWWWW 🐲❤️🔮

You know what, fuck it, let’s lock it down, when it’s right it’s right!

-Burn stuff with me forever?? -I WILL!!!!

-We are gathered here today, under threat of fiery death, to join two unholy abominations in holy matrimony. Yes, the irony is not lost on me. 

AW CONGRATS GUYS <3333 The wizard tower is so small and family un-friendly and Olivia is so unmaternal but come on, like I’m not gonna have her reproduce with a fucking dragon.

Back to Spainot, we’ve hit a slight bump, mainly that this Snordwich lord is proving fucking impossible to torture. 

-Um.. Are you enjoying this??? -Sure am, bad boy, but why don’t we take this somewhere more private already?

Wtf, stop sexually harassing the innocent person who’s torturing you! Does no one around here have any sense of humanity anymore??

-Come on, Spainot, throw some flesh-eating rodents at him! -I’M BUILDING UP TO IT, RAE, GAWD. No one likes a back-seat torturer!

-HA, who’s the loser now, Rodolfo? Rodolfo?? RODOLFO

Ya Spai I don’t know how to tell you this, but I’m pretty sure he left while you were interrogating, I haven’t seen him in like 3 days.

-WHAT. So Olivia completes one achievement and gets a dragon wife and a magic skeletal bird and I complete three and get dumped?!

Well what do you want from me, I don’t make the rules!

-YES YOU DO

Can we move on, please? And Olivia had a very rough go of it-

-she got burned in some rando quest and looked positively karma-stricken after, inferno-ing left and right while sporting this look! She deserves a magic bird!

Congrats on your success and 4 kids, Olivia! 

-I love this skeleton bird more than I thought it possible to ever love something.

-Gee, thanks mom. 

We had leftover bones so here, Spainot, you get a magic bird too.

-A bone parrot is little comfort when you’ve lost the only bone that matters! Why Rodolfo, whyyyyy!!!!!!!!!

Oh I don’t know, probably because you challenged him to duels 3 times a day?

-No, that can’t be it.

Correct me if I’m wrong, but you look like a man who has nothing to live for?

-Yea, I certainly don’t.

So you wouldn’t mind like, jumping into the pit multiple times so you can get the parts we need for the hardest achievement in game aka Legendary Doomsword?

-Rodolfo had one of those too, it was legendary and now that it’s gone I’m doomed!!!

Ok ya ENOUGH metaphors about Rodolfo’s absent penis, although they really are writing themselves. We’ll get him back! If you survive all the pit jumping that is. Join us next time for part 2: Legendary Doomsword!

[tammythompson-singslikea-muppet]

Reconciliation (Stan Uris x reader x Richie Tozier, Reddie)

I'm finally back! It's probably been a year since I posted Betrayal and shit has really hit the fan since then, but here I am a year later with part 2!

Here is a link to part 1

Warning: swearing

Aged up: 18/19

You tried to catch up with Stan as he power-walked out of the house. He stopped short when he realized his car wasn't there. "Stan" You catch his attention and he turns around. His chest rising and falling at a quick pace, "You heard everything in there?" Stan's voice was quiet, much quieter than just a minute ago. You nod and he sighs. "I'm sor-" You cut him off "Don't be" You take a step forward and bring your hand up to push some curls out of his face. He leans into your hand, not stopping himself for once. No yearning, no shouting in his head over his actions. Just the feel of your soft palm against his cheek. Stan takes a deep breath, feeling himself calm down in the wake of your touch. "Can we go somewhere?" Stan's voice barely above a whisper. "Of course."

Richie leaned back against the wall and slid down to the floor. He brushed his hands through his hair 'God I fucked up' "Man you really fucked up." Richie looked up. "Thanks, Bill your a real help." Bill put his hands up in defense. "I gotta say I really didn't see that one coming," Eddie spoke up. Bill and Mike nodded in agreement. "I mean I knew *something* was going on but holy shit I didn't think they were in love with each other," Beverly added. "We know Stanley's in love with her but is she in love with Stan? I mean she was just in a serious relationship like a week ago" "Yeah I wonder what happened to that relationship?" Ben's eyes sharp at Eddie, voice stiff and slightly viscous, "Alright! Alright!! None of that!" Mike's authoritative voice made it known he was seriously done with all the fighting. "She loves him" The group turned their heads at Richie's small voice, Ha stared down at the floor and spoke softly. "She may not be in love with him right now, but I could see it. She's falling for Stan."

Eddie looked over at Richie. A mix of emotions reached throughout the boy. He hated seeing Richie like this, but he also hated that it was about you. Mostly he hated that it was about you. He couldn't control it, no matter how much he wished that he could. What is it exactly that Richie is so mad at? Is he upset that he potentially ruined his relationship with Stan? Is he upset that Stan is in love with (Y/N) or that Stan claimed he neither loved nor cared about (Y/N)? Is Richie still in love with (Y/N)? If so is he mad that (Y/N) could be in love with Stan or that she is moving on so quickly? Eddie couldn't help but feel like he was still second to you. It's not like Richie chose to tell you. He kept telling Eddie that he would for at least 2 weeks, but then she found out in her own way. Eddie feared that maybe he was never gonna tell you. Or now that you found out does Richie regret it? 'Alright, Alright Eddie calm the fuck down! Just go talk to Richie.' "Eds?" "Yeah Rich." "I'm gonna go." Richie's tone sounded soft, defeated. It broke Eddie's heart to see him like this. "Yeah sure I'll go grab my keys-" Richie cut him off politely. "I'm just gonna walk. I think I wanna be alone right now. I'll call you later." Richie placed a hand on the back of Eddie's head pulling him close and pressing a kiss to the top of his head. "OK. Be safe please."

"Where are we going?" You ask Stan who is driving and keeping silent. "You'll see. Um, go into the glove compartment a find the clear tape." You scrunch your eyebrows together. "You been stashing things in my glove compartment, Uris?" You found a clear tape and put it into the radio. Temptation by New Order flooded in through the speakers. A smile grew on your face as you turned the volume nob up. Stan looked over at you for a second just to see your growing smile. "I made you a tape and left it in here for the next time you complain that there's nothing good on the radio." A fit of giggles came from your mouth. "Stanley Uris made me a fucking mix-tape." You continued to laugh. It brought a smile, growing wider by the second, to see you so happy and blissful listening to your favorite music, a song he loved as well.

And I've never seen anyone quite like you before. No, I've never met anyone quite like you before.

Richie's emotions were confusing him now more than ever. He loved (Y/N). He truly did, but he just wasn't in love with her. Guilt consumes him every night before sleep and every time he sees you. He never wanted to hurt you. But when it comes to Eddie he's impulsive even a little reckless. Richie knew that he fucked up massively. Not only with you but with Stan and he even feels so with Eddie. He felt that if he just would have been honest with you before jumping into things with Eds maybe Eddie wouldn't have lost his best friend. He still couldn't wrap his head around how much of an idiot and a dick he was about Stanley. What in the fucking hell would lead him to believe that Stanley Uris of all people would fuck around with someone's feelings like that? He had already caused (Y/N) enough pain maybe he was trying to be a hero or something. Do something right for once, but of course, it was just another gigantic fuck up! Executed wonderfully by your very own Richie Tozier. Richie had noticed that he walked straight to the quarry. He picked up a stone and skipped it across the water.

Stan pulled the car over along where the road stopped and the tree's started. "Come on." Stan walked over to your side of the car and opened the door for you and held out his hand. You took his hand and walked beside him into the woods. "You trying to get me to some secret secondary location?" "What, you don't recognize where we're going?" You looked around a bit and shook your head. "Well, then I guess it will be a surprise." "I guess this is the day I get murder in the woods. Goodbye world you were never all that good to me but at least my murder is hot as hell." You almost couldn't see Stan's blush from how much he was laughing. You're hands brush as you walked close together. Stan felt a little nervous to take it, it's not like he hasn't held your hand before but right now he feels it holds so much more. 'Good' he thought to himself. 'It does mean more. Let it mean more.' He took your hand in his and warmth spread throughout the both of you. Just the two of you holding hands walking through the trees with Stan pointing out some birds to you, felt so blissful. At this moment you realized you had never felt this way with Richie. The two of you had a lot in common and play off each other well jokes and conversation-wise. But maybe that wasn't all a relationship needed. You had felt that's why Richie and you were so perfect together. Maybe this was finally the start to forgiving Richie and regaining some normalcy, realizing that maybe we weren't perfect or meant to be after all. If this is how Richie felt with Eddie you felt that you could somewhat understand why he was so in a rush to have it. It was scary how new this thing with Stan was yet how important it felt to you. You would go to the ends of the earth to protect what you had with Stan, no one in the world made you feel as safe and comforted as Stanley Uris. What Richie did, going behind your back, was in no way how he should've handled the situation. You let him into some of the most vulnerable spaces in your mind and life, entrusting him with your heart and your deepest thoughts, that you were his only person. That wasn't something easy to forgive, not something to easily recover from, especially having that trust broken with someone else with who you were very close. You may be happy and blissful at this moment, but you definitely knew the consequences of Richie's actions would come back to rear its ugly head sooner or later. But you believed that understanding was one of the first steps toward forgiveness. The more you walked the louder the sound of running water became. Soon you could even see the running water. You realized Stan had brought you to the barrens.'But why the barrens?' you thought to yourself. You reached the edge of the water and looked over to Stan. "C'mon" he grabbed your hand and stepped out onto a rock in the water. You did your best to follow, it finally dawns on you that you were headed toward the clubhouse.

When you got to the small clearing Stan went ahead and lifted the hatch to the small underground area where the losers used to hang out. "I've only been here a couple of times." You said as you climbed down the ladder. "Yeah, I guess we started hanging out other places more." Stan walked over to the hammock getting in. He smiled and reached his arms out like a little kid asking for a hug. You raised an eyebrow at him. "I know. I always feel like I'm gonna fall out of this thing, but it's safe I promise." "Okay," You say drawing out the word in a skeptical tone. You yelped as it wobbled and Stan gripped his arms around your waist as the hammock swung a little. "See, safe." You let out an amused huff and relaxed into Stan. Your back was pressed against his chest, both of your heads finding slightly uncomfortable spots in the crooks of the other's neck. "I remember one of the first times Eddie ever brought you to hang around with us was down here." Stan played with your hands in your lap. "I remember looking over and seeing you smiling, talking to Beverly. It was really hot out, your cheeks were pink. Richie gave you his shower cap and you, him, and Bill talked about comic books." You closed your eyes just listening to Stan talk softly into your hair. "Beverly came over to me when she noticed. She was joking around told me to stop staring, that it was rude. I hadn't even noticed that I was staring. I got nervous cuz, -hoping you didn't notice. You were so beautiful I couldn't help but stare." You blushed and let out a chuckle, your stomach filling up with butterflies. "I don't expect you to say back any time soon, and I in no means want to rush you, but I-" Stan paused, thinking about the impact of his words. He started to think maybe he should give you a little time, but then you leaned your head up to look at him. And when he looked down into your eyes there was no way stopping the words from falling out of his mouth. "I love you." The look in Stan's eyes was intoxicating, you could have stared in his eyes for the rest of both your lives, but instead, you brought your hand up to his jaw and tilted your head bringing yours and Stan's lips together. Equally as intoxicating as the look in his eyes. The two of you felt as if you were floating on clouds. Like you two were the only two people in the world. You pulled away and smiled, Stan pressed his forehead against yours. "I know" You and Stan laughed.

"Ok Rich. You just need to apologize. I'm sure they'll forgive you. They're your friends, basically your family." Richie walked back into town talking to himself. "And you hurt them and accused them of shitty things and now all your friends will hate you forever cuz you were a total dick and even their grandchildren will hate the name, Richie Tozier." Richie stopped for a second and groaned, rubbing his hands up and down his face under his glasses. He took a deep breath and continued walking.

Mike opened the door to Richie. "Hey man, come in." "Is Eds still here." "Yeah, he's in the living room. Rich," Mike put a hand on his shoulder. "He's worried about you. We all kinda are. There's been a lot going on with you four I just want to remind you that if you need someone to talk to we're all here for you buddy." "Thanks, man." Richie continues into the living room and sees Ben and Eddie talking. He breathes a sigh of relief, knowing how much it hurt Eddie that Ben wouldn't talk to him. They hugged and Ben got up off the couch and saw Richie. "I'm really sorry Richie. It was really rude to treat you like that-" Richie cut him off. "It's ok man really, I get it. She's your friend, I was a dick." "Yeah but you and Eddie are my friends too." "Well then what do you say Haystack," Richie extended out a hand. "Back to buds." Ben agreed and shook Richie's hand. Richie took a seat next to Eddie on the couch. "Hey, I'm glad your back I wanted to-" Richie leaned in and kissed Eddie. "As much as I love you and your adorable rambling I wanted to apologize." Eddie was suddenly very nervous. He thought to himself 'Shit this is it. He still loves Kassidy.' "Sure, Sure yeah. Umm a-about what Rich?" Richie took Eddie's hands in his fiddling with them out of nerves. "About everything. About not telling Kassidy. About not even being decent enough to break it off first so neither of you would get hurt. All of this would have been so much easier and nobody would've had to lose any friends. I'm just so sorry Eddie, I love you and I never wanted to hurt you like that." Eddie was so relieved to hear those words come out of Richie's mouth. He put a hand up to Richie's cheek and leaned to kiss him. "I love you too Richie." Richie chuckled in relief "Thank fuck."

You and Stan walked back to the car hand in hand. "So what do you wanna do now? " You leaned your back up against the car door "Oh I don't know maybe some more of this." Stan leaned himself against the car by his forearm and with his other hand lifted your chin, leaning down connecting your lips. You hummed against his lips. "Well, I do love doing that." "Do you want to go back to your place-" Stan pressed a small kiss on your neck "Watch a movie." "Shit!" Stan's head shot up. "I left my house keys at Bens." "We can sneak through your bedroom window." You push yourself off of the car, past Stan, and walked to the other side pulling your door open. "I don't wanna go back there either but with any luck, Richie won't be there." Stan groaned and got into the car.

You wrapped your knuckles on the door and Mike opened it with a smile. "I just forgot my keys." Mike let you in past him to the table where the keys sat. You quickly walked over to the table and grabbed your keys. Turning around back towards the door you catch Richie staring from the couch next to Eddie. For once you didn't feel the wind knocked out of you. But you couldn't say that the feeling of wanting to punch him had dulled any. You carried on toward the door when Richie called out your name. You sighed and banged your head on Mike's front door and contemplated for a second whether or not you should pretend you didn't hear him and keep walking. Apparently, you had stayed there a bit too long. Richie tapped two fingers on your shoulder. "I was just wondering if you would let me talk at you for a second. You don't need to say anything, or react in any way really-" You turned around and put your hands on his shoulders. He froze silent as you drew a deep breath. "I forgive you." It wasn't easy to say, you weren't even sure it was true. A part of you wanted to keep him dangling in wonder and guilt but you knew that you would eventually fully forgive him and the more you saw him moping around the more you would most likely enjoy watching him suffer for what he did. But if he just thought that you had forgiven him then maybe he would go back to his old trashmouth self and you all could move on.

Richie was taken by surprise, to say the least. He felt relief for a fleeting moment until he remembers Stan. "He's out in the car" He heard him speak softly. She somehow always knew what was going on inside his head, that's what made him think that she was so great, that they would be so great together. Against your better judgment, you grimaced and said, "I can give you five minutes. But he has the car keys so I can't promise he won't dive off on you." Richie threw his arms around you and squeezed you, "Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!" "Yeah, sure get off me" He smiled at you, "Sorry." As Richie walked out the door he turned back to you, "He wouldn't drive off without his best girl." Richie started making trumpets sound in the tune of 'A Long Long Time' by Kitty Kallen and closed the door. You rolled your eyes as you and Mike laughed

Richie fell silent as he walked up to your car with Stan in the front seat. He raised his hand and tapped on the window. Stan kept his stare forward and locked the car door. Richie sighed. "Stan please." Richie heard the click of the car doors unlock and walked around to the other side and got in. "I'm so sorry. I was being a complete shit of a person and totally overreacted. I do care about her, I do! That's why I got so angry and it totally fucked up my judgment." Stan wasn't saying anything and it started to make Richie even more nervous. "I was angry and confused and I honestly don't know where all of that came from. That's not what I think of you at all, you gotta know that, Stan. You're one of my best friends and the best dude I know and I'm so sorry I said all of those things. I know I really fucked up." The two of them sat and stared out the windshield, Richie's leg bounced up and down from nerves until Stanley broke the silence. "I'm sorry too. That I turned my back on you. I couldn't understand how you had the most perfect girl right in front of you and seeing you hurt her made me angry too. I mean we all saw you and Eddie happening eventually, but I didn't think you two would go and do that. I love her and I guess I let that get in the way of our friendship." "I mean dude I don't really think I could blame you. I've seen the way she looks at you. It can make someone do stupid and crazy things." "Well then I guess that explains why you are so stupid and crazy," Stan laughed, "Eddie looks at you like that 24\7." Richie turned away laughing and hoped it hid the bright red flush on his cheeks. "I can't believe she actually forgave me." "Yeah me neither, to be honest." Stanley dead-panned. "Buuut," Stan took a calming deep breath, "If she can forgive you, then I guess I should too."

Eddie walked up to (Y\N) hesitantly as she was laughing with Mike. Mike saw Eddie and took that as his cue to leave, or rather to eavesdrop from the kitchen with Beverly, Ben, and Bill.

"Thanks for uh.. for forgiving Richie, he's been a wreck," Eddie said. "N-not that I've been fine! I-I feel completely terrible for what I did. But I mean I-I-I'm not trying to make you feel bad for me or anything. O-or for Richie. I just mean that we're both really sorry. I'm so, so very sorry (Y/N)." Eddie stammered through quickly. Man, do your shoes look mighty interesting at that moment. 'You forgave Richie why is it so hard to forgive Eddie. Maybe because we only gave Richie a premature apology so we could all get back to normal? Should I have to do that with Eddie too? Fuck that neither of them deserves it!' You fought back and forth with yourself in your head before finally looking up at Eddie. You took a deep breath, "I know...I-" Eddie cut you off "You don't have to." "I feel like I should." "You already kinda forgave Richie I know that's a big thing so you can hate me for as long as you need I deserve it." You smiled at Eddie and walked out of the house. Richie saw you walking towards the car and stepped out leaving the door open for you. You got in and leaned over to Stanley cupping the side of his face to bring him closer and pressed a kiss to his cheek. Stan started the car as you buckled. You tucked your legs up onto the seat and curled up to get comfy. Stan rests his hand over on one of your legs as you closed your eye

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