#I hate having to participate in capitalism.

[iero]

Already mourning the fact that there is probably no way I’m gonna be able to stay up to blog about the West Coast shows, as an East Coaster, because of work. </3

[shadybug]

i really just do not trust makeship. i feel like people should think more about where their merch is physically being made before hopping on a bandwagon, ESPECIALLY for something as complex and labor-intensive as limited run plushies.

makeship talks a lot about how much they take care of their artists and design/logistics team, but has nothing about their manufacturers on their website. all of their employees are remote, which is something they brag about on their site, so i'm certain they outsource the actual plush creation. given their prices and what i know about plush manufacturing, i don't have much faith that the people actually making the plushies are paid/treated well.

[bunnihearted]

the earth is getting hotter and hotter and nobody's doing anything about it but im misanthropic and depressive because i can see nothing that inspires hope 🤙

[draw-me-some-stories]

Not a swiftie, but fuck that killed me.

You know what Taylor, I do hate it here.

[solemntitty]

i went outside and there were many people. i went back inside. i prefer. vastly. the indoors

[minnieposting]

capitalism and its horrifying effects on us

[buddhistmusings]

Every time I post something referencing the very real humanitarian crisis in Palestine, my "for you" page changes and becomes filled with recommended posts that contain the most vile antisemitic shit.

It makes me so sad, because it reminds me of what an awful job that a movement that was supposed to be about advocating for Palestinian lives has done with boundary maintenance. It is so compromised that social media algorithms don't appear able to differentiate between advocacy on behalf of Palestinians and antisemitic content. The crossover between the two has become enough that a user who engages with content of one kind is recommended content of another. People who are not educated on antisemitism and the covert symbolism it uses might not recognize it right away, so we are seeing an entire group of people, convinced that they are participating in a civil rights advocacy movement also being indoctrinated into a separate hate movement, under the impression that these two movements are the same.

With such poor boundaries being maintained between these two ideally separate movements, and such overlap growing, how long can I honestly maintain that these are two separate movements?

Meanwhile, innocent Palestinians are being bombed, children are starving, far-right governments on both sides of the conflict are gloating in the support they get from American conservatives and leftists respectively, and functionally, I hear nobody advocating for peace anymore, only the destruction of their enemies. Palestinians are being so incredibly demeaned, by both the people who want to destroy them and their sovereignty, and the people who claim to be supportive of them.

Sane, rational people who are advocating for peaceful solutions are disregarded and voices on the fringe are centered. People are witnessing what they interpret as a genocide unfolding and in response are advocating for a counter-genocide. Can they not see how this actively impedes the peace process? They give legitimacy to (false) far-right Israeli nationalist claims of Palestinian statehood as an inherent danger to the safety of the Jewish people, and demean the Palestinian people by suggesting that what they want is revenge and not to live their lives in peace. They've made questions about the legitimacy of Hamas, an evil terrorist organization, central to the movement, instead of what should be the priority, that innocent people are suffering and that this is unacceptable. They have redefined and reappropriated Jewish words to use as antisemitic slurs and convinced their audience that using these slurs is not antisemitism.

Meanwhile, capitalizing on the above mentioned antisemitism, those who want to harm the Palestinian people, deny them statehood, are using the words and actions of these activists as ideological ammunition to fire up their anti-Palestinian base. Donald Trump literally called Joe Biden a Palestinian at the presidential debate as a slur. Republicans are using the word "Palestinian" as a slur. Netanyahu (possibly one of the worst people involved in this entire situation), in his speech to congress, was able to point to the very real antisemitic actions of activists to further cement support for him personally. By the way, saying how antisemitic activists harm Palestinians shouldn't have to be the rhetorical point we resort to. The fact that antisemitism hurts Jewish people is enough to make it a bad thing and is enough to make us avoid doing it, right?

I'm tired of turning in one direction and saying "You should NEVER say something like that about Palestinians" and then turning in the other and saying "You should NEVER say something like that about Jews". It should not have to be said that condemning the very existence of one of two ethnic groups in their shared homeland is unacceptable, and yes, it is their shared homeland, because they both live there and are both from there. It should not have to be said that you should understand what a word means before using it to insult people. Here I am in fact talking about the word Zionist, because that is a family of various movements, some of which are worthy of condemnation, but frankly, the basic premise of Zionism does not demean or degrade Palestinians at all, because it simply is the belief that Jewish people have the right to return to and form communities in their homeland.

I'm kind of opening myself up to get a lot of criticism here, but I wanted to get these thoughts out, because I have been finding them enormously frustrating. My heart breaks for all the innocent Palestinians who are suffering and have a lackluster movement advocating on their behalf, and my heart breaks for all the Jewish people who have lost friends to antisemitic conspiracy. My heart breaks for the victims of 10/7 and their families, as well as the Jewish community who was interrupted in the mourning of their losses. My heart breaks for all of the Palestinians who have lost friends and family in the subsequent destruction in Gaza and the immense violence and famine we are seeing.

Please root your activism in peace and compassion, not hatred and destruction. Please think before you speak about entire groups of people. Learn about what words mean before you use them to condemn others. Learn about Jewish people, Palestinian people, their lives, their cultures, and why they both feel such a strong connection to the land. Make this about healing, love, and reconciliation, and not about being right.

[apocalypse-shuffle]

HOBIE BROWN | SPIDER-PUNK (atsv)

─────────────────

─────────────────

“Brand New Metal” (Hobie Brown & Fem!Reader)

| Hobie helps you pierce your nose.

| SFW, piercing description, needles

| Featuring almost the entirety of my own piercing experience. (Pic source: Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse (2023) movie)

You pull away for what feels like the hundredth time in five minutes and Hobie’s hand moves outta the way even faster, barely a blur of movement before it’s back within his bubble of space.

“C’mon, Mama, I can’t do this if you keep jumpin’ away from me.”

You shift in place where your butt is planted beside the hard water stained sink. Shoulders dropping you rub your hands down your face.

“I know that,” you grumble.

Problem was, knowing barely qualified as a quarter of the issue, and whoever said knowing was half the battle clearly hadn’t been staring down the point of the thickest needle you’d ever seen in person.

You wave your hand to the metal rod with a grimace. “But look at the size of that thing, Hobes. That’s gotta be overkill.”

Hobie’s accent seems to get thicker as he hits you with a deadpan tone, full brows shading his eyes.

“This’s a twenty gauge needle. I’ve seen you ’old your guts inside you and still make time to bash in some fascists, this’s nothin’.”

In response you flip him off but Hobie - perfectly unfazed - only starts twirling the needle around two latex glad fingers.

His own piercings - of which there were plenty - glint off of the dim yellow lighting of his bathroom like a taunt. Or at least it feels like that to you.

“Look, I already told you piercings ain’t some crucial part of the scene, Mama. You don’t have ta do any of this. It’s all just boxes and labels, the lot of it,” Hobie points the blunt side of the needle at you. “And you know I hate labels.”

“Yeah, Hobes, the whole of Camden knows. Besides, I want it cause I think it looks nice not cause of capitalism’s agenda to make us buy shit instead of looking at whatever human right of the day they’re doing away with,” you shrug and Hobie’s mouth twists to the side for a second before he’s shrugging too.

“Great. Point’s been made then. Pick a struggle.”

“Fuck your struggle,” you frown. “It’ll hurt.”

“Hn,” he scoffs and shakes his head. He’s giving you this narrow look like he’d let you keep this back and forth up for the rest of the day without any complaints though. “Fake ones exist for a reason.”

“Fake ones won’t give me the satisfaction of a real piercing though.”

“The lie that we need to feel pain in order to be worthy of livin’ is also capitalistic propaganda, Luv.”

Now it’s your turn to give him a look; face dropping and one brow rising.

Hobie chuckles.

“Fine.” He grins, sharp. “We both know I know exactly what it is you’re sayin’. I just can’t tell if being an accomplice to yer masochism is fair to me.”

“You wouldn’t deny a woman her creative outlet, would you?”

“S’pose not,” Hobie agrees, taking another alcohol swab and disinfecting the needle again for extra measure.

He eyes you up and down and you smile, fluttering your lashes at him and kicking your heels into his cabinet doors. You needed Hobie to be the one to do this. For one, because you were not going to be able to do this yourself, and for two, because he was really the only person you trusted to puncture a literal hole in your body.

You take a deep breath, now if only you could chill the hell out.

Hobie shakes his head, wicks flopping around and knocking into each other languidly.

“Yer one ‘elluva reluctant participant to this for someone agreein’ they’re a masochist,” he nods to the needle while brandishing it like a knife. He knows you're full of shit, but he’s not about to make your decision for you. “You gotta stop flinching every time light just glints off the needle if you really want this.”

You lock eyes with him, sitting up to your full height and trying not to back away from the metal rod. “Maybe I’m just waiting for the adrenaline rush to kick in.”

“Pretty sure that happens after the pain, yeh?

A huff and your fingers curl over the edge of the counter and squeeze.

“Just…get it over with, Hobie.” You take a deep breath. “Please?”

“Alright alright, don’t get your knickers in a twist,” Hobie eases a hand around your jaw and raises the needle. “You know I’ve got you. Now keep still.”

Another deep breath from you and Hobie meets your eye for a second time.

“On three,” he grunts. With your head in his grasp you can’t physically nod so you use your eyes to convey your agreement.

Hobie takes a breath to start the countdown and you inhale with him. You’ve gotten your ears pierced before, you could do this. It was fine. Plus you’ll have a few seconds to prep yourself before he gets to number three. You got this. You both exhale.

“Three,” he states.

Without a second to spare the needle pierces through the squishy cartilage of your nose and your breath catches in your throat. Instantly tears well in your eyes and your face heats up something fierce - like somebody’s holding a blow dryer on the highest setting up to it with zero mercy. Your joints pop, grasp on the counter growing tighter in your attempt to keep yourself from jerking out of Hobie’s hold. The sheer need to not garner an actual injury from the metal is almost solely what keeps you in place.

This wasn’t like an ear piercing at fucking all. Fuck this septum piercing and fuck Hobie too. What the fuck?

“Ow! You motherfucker!”

NOTES: Hope you enjoyed!! I only wrote his accent clearly some of the time; you’ll have to forgive me. I was confusing my damn self, okay? I did my best.

Also what I said about how adrenaline works isn’t really correct so don’t take that as gospel.

Edit: Had this labeled gn!reader on accident at first y’all, that’s my bad. Sorry for any confusion.

btw: if you’d like to leave a comment I’d very much appreciate it. this is a sideblog tho so I won’t respond.

[darkangel1791]

I have been upset in previous years with posts that complained about "rainbow capitalism". I understand that people felt used by companies that had homophobic policies and/or donated to anti-gay organizations, but still had a marketing campaign in June designed to celebrate Pride.

But as I say on my tumblr homepage, I am old. I remember when a corporation would never commit financial suicide by putting a rainbow on their product. Gay people were not mainstream. They were hated, feared, and objects of disgust.

Corporations are always going to screw people over. That is what they do. "Rainbow capitalism" at least showed that the LGBTQIA community was accepted enough that corporations knew that they were unlikely to lose more customers than they won by participating. It was worth the risk, because the risk was small.

This year, there is a significant drop in "rainbow capitalism". I guess that will make some people very happy. But it is not good. It is a very bad sign.

It means that now corporations are more worried about who might boycott them, than who they can sell to with that marketing strategy. We are falling out of the mainstream. We are losing acceptance. I think we all know why.

Try to be louder, show yourselves, attend Pride, fly your flags, buy any "rainbow capitalism" products that are still available if you financially can. But do keep yourself safe.

And most of all, vote as if your life depends upon it.

If we ever get our acceptance and buying power back again, please understand the importance of "rainbow capitalism", and what it really means.

❤️🧡💛💚🩵💙💜🤎🖤

[reasonandempathy]

The weird radical/revolutionary politic larpers on this site are so allergic to political pragmatism I swear lmao. I am definitely left of the Democratic Party and I am certainly voting for Joe Biden in November. Not because I like him (I don’t). He is absolutely horrific on Gaza and that’s only the top (and priority considering there is a genocide going on there) of a list of complaints I have about him. I even voted uncommitted in my state’s presidential primary (the Pennsylvania one; I had to write it in) to protest. However, I’m still thinking pragmatically. Trump has said things that make me credibly think he will be worse on Gaza (insane that being worse on Gaza than Biden is possible but it is unfortunately), and that’s only the tip of the iceberg. Project 2025, the potential for him to appoint more deeply conservative justices, more of his aggressively screwing over poor and middle class people with his tax policies. And does anyone else remember the spike in hate crimes after the race was called for him in 2016? Before he was even inaugurated? Whether people vote or not in November we will still have to deal with one of these two men in office come January unless all of the internet ancom larpers overthrow the government by then (doubt), so I’d rather deal with the one who will be marginally less bad and who didn’t try to overthrow the government. Can’t have your revolution if nobody’s alive cause you kept pushing off politically participating because there was no perfect option. 👍

Political pragmatist anon, sorry for ranting in your askbox but I feel like I lose brain cells watching these people talk. The other day I saw someone say Biden is bad because Roe v. Wade fell under his administration… even though the reason for that was Trump appointed justices. 💀 (2/2)

Fucking insane. Sincerely.

It's a completely, flatly binary choice for anyone with a brain stem and sincerity. It's distilled into the two below images:

Where all major third party candidates are even on the ballot

How many electoral votes the largest of those (green party, a.k.a. Jill Stein) would win if they won every single state they're on the ballot for.

They are literally, legally, incapable of winning the election. They are not on enough state ballots to win and Jill Stein would need to somehow win California and Texas to even "win" all the states they're on the ballot for. Which, again, would still not be enough to win the presidency and throw it to the currently existing Republican House of Representatives. Which would put Trump in office.

It's that straightforward. That simple. That BLARINGLY obvious to literally everyone except these people.

On the one hand you have:

Significant and continuous support for Israel and it's genocide

Record levels of pardons for low-level drug offenses

the gearing up of the strongest anti-trust regime since the early 20th century

the most aggressive NLRB I've seen in my lifetime, with massive wins and institutional changes to help workers

Including getting Rail strike workers a week of sick-leave that gets paid out at the end of the year, which is better than NYC and LA sick leave laws

Millions of people (not enough) getting student debt forgiveness

Some trillion dollars (not enough)of investment in renewable resources and infrastructure

Proposed taxes on unrealized capital gains (a.k.a. how billionaires never have any money but can still buy Kentucky, Iowa, and Twitter)

Effectively an end to overdraft fees

The explicit support of leftist world leaders like Lula de Silva. Who he has explicitly worked with to expand worker rights in South America.

Has capped (some, not enough, only a tiny amount really but it's something) some drug prices, including Insulin.

Reduced disability discrimination in medical treatment

Billions in additional national pre-k funding

Ending federal use of private prisons

Pushing bills to raise Social Security tax thresholds higher to help secure the General Fund

Increasing SSI benefits

and more

vs

Said Israel should just nuke Gaza and "get it over with"

Personally takes pride in and credit for getting Roe v Wade overturned

Is arguing in court that the President should be allowed to assassinate political rivals

Muslim Ban Bullshit, insistently

Actively damages our global standing and diplomatic efforts just by getting obsessed with having a Big Button

Implemented massive tax cuts on ich people, tax hikes on middle class and poor people, and actively wants to do it again

"Only wants to be a dictator for a little bit, guys, what's the big deal"

Is loudly publicly arguing that the US shouldn't honor its military alliances after-the-fact

Tore up an effective and substantial anti-nuclear-proliferation treaty with Iran

Had a DoEd that actively just refused to process student debt forgiveness applications that have been the law of the land for decades now

Has a long record of actively curtailing and weakening the NLRB and labor movement, including allowing managers to retaliate against workers, weakened workplace accommodation requirements for disabled people, and more

Rubber stamped a number of massive mergers building larger, more powerful top companies and increasing monopolistic practices

Fucking COVID Bullshit and hundreds of thousands of unnecessary deaths

Openly supporting fascists and wannabe-bootlicks ("Very fine people" being only the beginning of it

It's really not fucking close.

[mazzystar24]

I hope I can ask you this because I don't want to ask in the tags, I'm scared 🥹 but I've seen a lot of discourse about why tommy isn't good for buck, he's cold, the relationship is toxic etc and I was wondering why people think that? Is there anything specific that started it?

I fully believe eddie is buck's true love, endgame, whatever we want to call it and I'm sad we don't have that (yet) but I thought bucktommy was kinda fun in the meantime. I just want to understand 🫶🏻

Oh hey darling! you were so sweet and genuine in your response so please know I’m just answering what I’m asked and if you wanna enjoy and have fun with bt that is completely your prerogative but I’m just offering my perspective on it

And i am warning you this is gonna be long because I feel a constant need to go really in depth in my thoughts

Okay so idk how I’m gonna break this down but maybe I’ll do it in like main points?

Also if you’re new here whenever I use bullet points I’m just doing it cos I find it easier to chunk up my thoughts not cos I’m being curt or anything with you

1. The chimney and hen begins episodes

He wasnt just passive in the episodes and letting Gerard get away with his racist and misogynistic behaviour he ACTIVELY participated in it

This includes:

• Asking if they forgot to tip the delivery guy WHILE THEY WERE EATING CHINESE FOOD when chimney first comes up despite the fact that 1. Chimney had a big ass lafd bag 2. They were probably already told a probie would be coming 3. Probably would’ve seen the actual delivery guy 4. I would bet my absolute life that question would not have been asked if buck or bobby had walked up those stairs this wasn’t an innocent comment it WAS RACIST intentionally like the entire point of the episode was to show how bad they had it

• the New York bitchiness comment

• throwing his tools down along for hen to clean up

• going out of his way to treat them like outcasts and hating chimney before he even knew him despite chimneys efforts

• the way each of them had to “earn his respect” in some way before he acted like a normal coworker to them and this was never in the typical ‘oh it’s a new person’ type of way it always had to do with their race or in hen’s case her gender too

A defence I see a lot for this is “oh he was closeted” and honestly to me that is such bullshit because 1. Eli was perfectly capable of not participating in the racism and taking chimney under his wing without getting any shit for it and chimney is quite literally a Korean man (something he literally can’t hide) and he had just got his head above water with Gerard’s racism when hen came and he STILL was a friend to her 2. Again tommy wasn’t passive in it and just letting Gerrard be racist (which would’ve been one thing) no he actively participated in it to be part of the boys club 3. Let’s say that somehow not being a dick would’ve meant that that was a threat to the closet he was in- that is still in my opinion a fucked up sense of preservation if you spare yourself the possibility of bigotry (despite having inherent social capital by being a white man in that job) by inflicting others to bigotry

Now when Tommy was first reintroduced I was like keeping an open mind and saying okay it’s been a lot of time and maybe he has genuinely made amends because I do believe in redemption but imo they have made no attempt to show us that and had him honestly put more of the blame on Gerrard for his behaviour or the writers flat out avoiding mentioning it to retcon tommy a little and hope we forget

Another defence I see is “oh chimney and hen became friends with him so they must’ve forgave him”, hen went no contact the moment he left (something the writers went out of their way to include that line) and chimney didn’t even invite him to his wedding which was quite big after the Buckley parents got involved so it’s not like it was cos it was such a small and intimate wedding and he only called him as far as we know in those years when he needed a favor, which all means that most likely they had kinda just put it behind them and kept up a coworker relationship with him, but no actual friendship or actual forgiveness or redemption had taken place

Oh wow all that was just point one and I can probably talk more on it but I’ll just leave it with saying that Lou’s comments about it being teasing or how Tommy genuinely didn’t know hen or chimney were capable etc just makes for a worse case than saying it’s cos of being in the closet (and that is genuinely a large part of why idk much abt Lou but those comments are enough to make me hate him) and I’ll also say that poc (myself included in that) have these situations so often- situations even as specific as gay men being racist to them to fit in - and we understand the nuance and shit to it but we also understand on a deep level how it feels to be on the other side of that

And getting toxic bt fans try to come up with ways to downplay or minimise racism honestly pisses me off so much cos believe you me we have heard every excuse and downplay under the sun and I for one am sick and tired of it

2. Why he’s viewed as cold and his jokes

• literally from the small parts we saw of him and Eddie hanging out we have seen the man is in fact capable of joking and being light and having fun but around buck in particular he’s like 🧍‍♂️😐 and the occasional 🙂 like it just feels very stiff and just plain in a way

• his humour consistently falls flat and feels passive aggressive more than anything like blunt or sardonic humour DOES work like I personally love it but it’s not being written OR executed right

A. It’s always in response to genuine moments or questions such as buck talking abt the award or the daddy kink joke or henren questioning him

B. It’s the the majority of what we see from him, there is not enough balance for it

C. Lack of rapport, when friends or couples make jokes that can come off the wrong way if said to anyone else it’s cos of the rapport built already, this rapport is not established with the characters OR with the audience for these jokes to come off right

D. I gotta say this one too but the execution just isn’t right from writing to acting, it’s the same reason sardonic humour lines from Sandra oh as Cristina Yang or hugh Laurie as house still lets you like the characters and find them funny but Tommys lines come off as annoying to a lot of people

3. I think fandom discourse probably has something to do with it but not in the way you think

I’m not saying like oh ppl who ship buddie just hate him cos of the ship no I’m saying that like what takes him from an annoying disliked character to a hated character is most likely the fact that his role stirred so much drama and caused so much damage to how the fandom used to be that its turned the dial up

4. A lot of his development, lore or redeemable factors or cute things are just not canon

This may be blunt and I am sorry for that but I think his character has been blown up to such a degree that it’s genuinely shocking

Like I look at posts or get sent hate and I’m like where did any of this happen this is just not canon this is just not a show like at times I’m genuinely convinced it’s a social experiment where different ppl saw a different show like some spiderman multiverse situation

Listen I’m all for headcanons genuinely like if you wanna take extra number three and make a whole backstory and lore and cute stuff abt her I’m all for it but it’s when it’s said as if it’s fact or canon that I’m like hold up a second rewind

I think this is kinda a result of Lou’s cameos (which honestly deserves its own post but you asked why the tommy hate so imma stay on topic) and also this like need to defend the character but not having much material to work with

Like if we look at canon we can literally break down the entirety of Tommys appearances this far in the show and what we learn about him:

• chimney begins- he makes a racist comment and he tries to suck up to Gerard, there is a little hint abt his gayness with the gf comment, Eli says to chimney that’s just how they are and tries to reason it could be fear of losing friends but we see tommy having friends in the firehouse while eli says this, chimney tries to make friends with him and tommy makes no attempt to get to know him and says he’d hate him anyways, chimney saves Tommys life thus earning his respect

• hen begins- she’s met with the same racism chimney is but also met with misogyny (and homophobia but that’s not relevant to the tommy of it all), we find out chimney is still isolated from the rest despite having earnt that respect, chimney befriends hen and again tommy still doesn’t try anything like that until hen proves herself and earns his respect, ppl reported Gerard but it’s never actually stated tommy was one of those ppl so again that’s not canon that’s speculated

• bobby begins- chimney and hen both seem to be like coworker friends with tommy and Sal, Sal throws hissy fit bobby “fires” him tommy says it’s an overreaction bobby reveals it was a transfer, they all seem to make nice, tommy leaves to 217

• chimney calls tommy for help and tommy helps

• we see nothing from tommy,then cruise ship he helps the team but also in this we find out hen cut off all contact since he left

• buck takes tour of harbour, Eddie and tommy have a friendship and we find out some of Tommys interests and that he was in the army, basketball scene and the subsequent apology and kiss

• dinner date, Tommy explains how he was in the closet, Buck has his little awkward moment (which will be elaborated on in my next point) , Tommy says nothing abt it till the Uber arrives and he leaves buck

• buck reaches out and apologises and asks for a second chance inviting tommy to the madney wedding

• bachelor party and the issue of the lack of costume and not just taking the day off for neither wedding nor bachelor party (which you can reason is reasonable but also I feel like this deserves its point for the narrative choices)

• tommy shows up straight outta work they kiss buck has the soot coming out award ceremony - buck being happy abt the reward to which tommy sardonically says enjoy it while it lasts enter bigoted cunt gerard then chimney comes and insults gerard and they walk away

• we don’t see tommy again till the dinner date after Bobby nearly died and when buck tries to explain Bobbys significance to his life tommy throws the your dad is still alive which is just honestly one of his worst moments imo and I made a whole post abt it but can’t find it and then we all know the rest of that convo and I could make a bullet point for it but actually I made a whole post before so I’ll link it: here

AND THATS IT

Like all this comes down to what maybe like 30 mins screentime? If that?

5. The leaving buck on their first date

The defences people use for this are:

• buck was trying to shove him back in the closet

• buck was obviously not ready

• people angry abt this are just babying buck like he can find his own way home it’s not that big of a deal

• buck was at fault there and tommy would’ve been justified in being angry and not giving him a second chance

And honestly every last one of these are bullshit imo and lemme go point by point

• buck panicked, I don’t think that what buck was feeling in that moment can be properly described because unless you’re a queer person and you’ve experienced that like bone deep panic that like brain overload then you won’t get it

Like one it’s his first queer date

Two he doesn’t even understand his own sexuality atp

Three his closest friend just walked in in a situation that’s already putting him on edge

So he’s not only panicking he’s not understanding why he’s panicking he’s trying to make excuses eventhough part of him knows he doesn’t need one but also he doesn’t even understand this side of himself yet so he doesn’t want to have to potentially explain it

Like it’s a million things and a million emotions and no one can claim they would behave rationally or appropriately in that situation and if you say that you would you’re lying simple as that

Also then we find out that Eddie thought tommy was straight anyways

• the reason I love the buddie coming out scene is because of Eddie’s “and what do you think” line because it’s not up to tommy or anyone else whether a person is “ready” enough in their queerness to date. Full stop.

Also tommy knew it was Buck’s first date with a man and was still down so why is he using that as some sort of out

•it’s not about babying buck and it’s not about him finding his own way home it’s the fact that Tommy could’ve done it with much more grace and he could’ve been a lot nicer with it but he wasn’t, and this is again bucks first date with a man even if it doesn’t end with a second date it should at the very least not end up with him feeling like a screw up on the side of the road

• to the ppl who say that- kindly shut up cos again see the first point but also I wanna point out that somehow the ppl saying this are also the same ones saying that Tommy was justified to be RACIST for a prolonged period of time due to being in the closet yet Buck what? Panicking for a few seconds and being a little awkward? is somehow this giant inexcusable thing

5. The narrative choices with him have been reasonably clear and tbh if they had been made with a woman it would not be up for debate:

• tommy leaves buck on their first date then he comes back and gives buck a chance- we as a fandom have been unanimous in saying for years that Buck’s endgame would be the one that doesn’t leave him cos this pattern has been something we saw over and over with him

• tommy not dressing up- again you can rationalise it but it’s a narrative choice and it’s glaring when contrasted with Eddie suggesting the duo costume

And if we had this scene with Taylor so many ppl would be saying that it’s once again showing that her and Buck’s personalities don’t align

• him being on standby for the wedding and bachelor party- again you can say oh buck invited him last minute or oh he couldn’t taken the day off (which lbr he could’ve he’s not the only firefighter pilot in la) - but again narrative choice

If it was Taylor everyone would’ve been like SEE? Again they’re showing the audience that her work is this looming presence in their relationship

Anyway I’m gonna shut up now cos this is A LOT

I’m so sorry it took me so long to respond tho and sending flowers in apology💐💐💐💐💐💐

Love ya for being so genuine when asking and hope all this didn’t come off too strong and that it was idk helpful?🫶🫶

I realise my response is abt to have toxic bt fans scurry to my inbox like rats to send hate and to that I say go fuck yourselves I’m responding to a question here

[dirhwangdaseul-archived]

i just really hate trends man like y'all don't have brains that aren't just the pure satisfaction of participating in capitalism like christ achieve some consciousness

[eastgaysian]

okay here's one post i have to make. Finally racism confirmed real in succession. other people have talked about this before but it is a huge blind spot of the show not to acknowledge the intersection between racism and capitalism, and the excuse that the characters are the 1% and the 1% are vastly white is pretty weak. the fact that the show sidelines its existing characters of color while every now and then broadly gesturing towards race makes this worse, especially as the show more directly focuses on fascism and just Doesn't bring race into it. like i don't even think race is totally absent as a concern of the writers but it's clearly not a priority. i think a lot about how mo's widow is a filipino woman

anyway. ken and rava's conversation in this sense doesn't really qualify as, like, revolutionary in terms of succession's commentary on race esp since it's a discussion between two white parents about their brown daughter without her present. the point of interest to me really is that kendall completely fails to recognize racism as a systemic issue, much less that he works for and is trying to sustain a company that actively works to perpetuate that hegemony. his questions are why was sophie on the street? why wasn't rava there? in the same episode where he calls matsson homophobic for saying the numbers are gay. socially aware king

it's not particularly revelatory to say that a rich white man doesn't grasp the concept of systemic racism LOL but i do think it's more than that for kendall, and i also think this trait is something his siblings don't share. it's like how he doesn't realize he's in a position of power over anna and she was pressured into attending the recny with him, and his adoption of a faux-feminist stance in s3 while continuing to treat women like shit. kendall's whole concept of Everything, including systemic social issues, goes back to logan. there's no system outside of dad. the doj doesn't find the cruises evidence compelling? that's because they're scared of logan. logan's the source of the evil in the world, therefore opposing him is inherently progressive, leaving kendall with even less of a coherent moral framework after his death. and he's completely unable to process the idea that he could be participating in and benefiting from the greater racist or sexist system, because that's fundamentally incompatible with his logan-based idea of his own identity.

i don't think roman or shiv or even connor share this particular nearsightedness. roman 'we do hate speech and roller coasters' roy knows what's going on but he doesn't really care and he doesn't believe it can be changed (or, maybe more accurately, that there's any point in trying). he doesn't buy into fascism on the ideological level, exactly, but the spectacle appeals to him and he does believe it's profitable to align with it, so he's perfectly happy to do so. i think he's the most similar to logan in this regard. and shiv and connor have actual political ideologies, even if they're far from being meaningfully opposed to fascism, which requires a base awareness of the fact that We Live In A Society and That Society Has Systems In It. for kendall it really boils down to logan and logan alone

[autumnshighlady]

I've Always Liked to Play With Fire (part 30)

NESTA ARCHERON X ERIS VANSERRA X FEMALE!READER

summary: it's three months since you married Nesta and Eris, and it's time for the Autumn Court to change. And the final piece of your plan begins to unfold

warnings: sexism, brief mention of SA

word count: 7.9k

DO NOT REPOST ANYWHERE

a/n: we're coming to the end of this fic, with likely only 2 more chapters left including an epilogue. there will be bonus chapters in the future, but things are beginning to wrap up. i thank you all for your support in this wild journey and hope you like where this ending is headed

part 1 // part 2 / part 3 / part 4 / part 5 / part 6 / part 7 / part 8 / part 9 / part 10 / part 11 / part 12 / part 13 / part 14 / part 15 / part 16 / part 17 / part 18 / part 19 / part 20 / part 21 / part 22 / part 23 / part 24 / part 25 / part 26 /

read on ao3

✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧

THREE MONTHS LATER

You had lost count of how many meetings you had partaken in this month. Not a day went by where some lord or another requested an audience. Luckily, Eris had renovated his father’s old meeting room, knocking down some walls and allowing more light to get into the previous damp, stuffy area. A sweet, chilly breeze cooled the skin on your face, a welcome contrast to the thick green gown you wore. Beside you, Eris wore robes of a similar colour, as did Nesta. The three of you sat at the head of the table, elegant goblets of wine in front of you as the Master of Laws continued his report.

“There have been reports from Crepusculum claiming that Lords Greaves and Bellsbury are leading an underground system of selling females as brides or…. other things… to a select group of nobles.” The Master of Laws said, flipping his parchment to the other side and squinting his wrinkled eyes. “The main buyers are of the families of Danvers, Alden, and Crofton.”

Eris curled his fists angrily beside you. “Ah yes, more of my father’s loyalists. It is unsurprising they wish to continue the Old Ways in secret. And treasonous. How many females have been taken and sold, Master Gallien?”

You sighed. Predictably, many of the Autumn Court resisted the changes implemented. Crepusculum, a rich town North of the capital, was home to many noble Houses who spearheaded resistance to these changes. Within a week of ruling, you, Eris, and Nesta had declared several new laws. These laws forbid the selling of females for marriage, as well as cracked down on harsher punishments for any abuse, rape, or other hateful crimes. Much to the anger of the nobles, your new laws also made room for females having greater claims to inheritance, as well as equal opportunities. Eris had warned you that the first few months would be bloody, with many challenging these laws and their punishment being made a spectacle. It churned your stomach to think of how many executions would happen, but deep down you knew it was necessary, for some of these males would not change.

Master Gallien muttered beneath his breath, searching through the several pieces of parchment in his hands. “It would seem… fourteen, your Grace. Fourteen females have been sold. Several from the noble houses, but apparently they have gone after a few of the lower class females as well.”

“Fourteen…” Eris mumbled. “And you can say for sure who these creatures are that have participated in this?”

The Master of Laws nodded. “Yes, Your Grace.”

“My guards will escort your officers to Crepusculum. Bring forth everyone who has participated in such a scheme. Buyers, sellers, bystanders, all of them. They know the consequences of breaking our laws, and they will all pay the price for it. Death by dragonfire, I think, is suitable for these monsters.”

“Agreed,” said the new Master of Coin, a golden haired female named Joanna who had been appointed after her father, Josef, was kicked off of the council by Nesta for his unsavoury comments. Joanna carried herself with confidence, not batting an eye when Eris had approached her for the position. She was the first female to become a Master at the High Lord’s table in the History of the Autumn Court, a sign of good change.

You glanced towards the far end of the table on your right at the cloaked female, who gave the subtlest of nods, confirming Lord Gallien’s information to be correct. The new Master of Whispers was also one of Eris’s pick – a female named Deirdre who served as Eris’s main spy for over a century. She was a short, thin female with golden brown skin and thick black hair that was always put up in intricate braids. She had piercing yellow eyes that made even the toughest of males shy away from her. She was ever silent and ever watching, only speaking when needed but never failing to miss any details. 

The rest of the royal council consisted of Lord Pellham, the Master of Ships and Trade, Lord Tarwel, the Master of War, and several notable advisors, politicians, and courtiers. All had served under Beron, but had bent the knee without question to you, Nesta, and Eris. Doubt had niggled at you at the thought of keeping Beron’s staff on your council, but Eris had reassured you. Deirdre will keep a close eye on them, my love, Eris had said. They won’t make a single move without her knowing. They value their life more than their remaining loyalty to my father.

“This will not be the end of it,” you spoke up, and everyone at the table turned their head towards you. “Crepusculum has been a consistent problem for us, and will continue to be until it is dealt with.”

“Dealt with how, your Grace?” Lord Tarwel spoke up. His tone was respectful and genuine, despite having served Beron for three centuries. 

“We need more than just a few officers and guards,” you continued. “That city is infested with corruption. We need to clear it out, root and stem. Make a spectacle of going in and uprooting not just Lord Graves and Bellsbury’s operation, but dragging out the scumbags who partake in it by their hair and showing the others what will happen if we get even a whiff of their involvement in such illegal activities. One of us should go with our dragon, do the executions in the city centre where everyone can see. And assembling a team to go in and rescue not just the females in the operation’s captivity, but any other wives, sisters, daughters, or mothers who feel stuck in their situation and wish for a way out.”

The council was silent for a moment, exchanging glances. You held your breath, awaiting their reactions. Under the table, Eris’s hand gently squeezed your knee.

After several moments, Lady Joanna spoke up. “You speak harshly, but truly, High Lady,” she said strongly. “There are many clinging to the Old Ways who will be using that city as the centre of their web. Simply getting rid of Lord Graves and Bellsbury and their business partners is a short term solution, but you are correct that the problem will persist if we don’t take more drastic actions.”

One of the advisors, an aged man with a long grey beard coughed, voice trembling as he spoke up. “I understand your point, Lady Joanna, as I do yours, Your Grace. But some of those noble houses have been influential for centuries. They have been loyal to the crown for generations–”

“Not so loyal now, it would seem.” Nesta said, her voice cold as ice.

The advisor stuttered before continuing. “The… extermination… of such long standing houses would not be ideal. Their coin is valuable, as is their support–”

“Not if it comes at the expense of terrorising and abusing others,” you cut him off sharply. “We have other ways to generate coin and support. What does it say about us if we create these laws and then do not enforce them just because someone has an important family name?”

“Besides,” Nesta added, fixing a glare at the now trembling advisor. “We are not exterminating their houses, as you so inaccurately put it. These males have wives, no? Children? Siblings? We are not annihilating the bloodline of an entire house for the crimes of a few, Lord Uwen. Only the guilty will face fire and death, not the innocent. Unless you say that the House line can only continue through the male heirs?”

“Not at all, Your Grace…” He said quietly, bowing his head and sitting back in his chair with defeat.

Nesta lifted her chin triumphantly, as if daring others to challenge her. Even after so many countless meetings, it never failed to impress you how good at politics your wife was. “Good, then it is settled. Eris and I will take Athariel and Morgoth, plus a hundred soldiers to Crepusculum and deal with the situation. (Y/N), is the second quarter of Solaris ready to receive more people?”

You nodded. ‘Yes, my love. Zôrzimril will continue to guard the town while Lady Lirilla and I receive the females you escort back. Gwyn and Emerie will help get them settled in.”

After the wedding, Gwyn and Emerie had made the decision to leave the Night Court behind and stay in Autumn. It had pained them to not get to say goodbye to some of the other Valkyries, but the instability of the Night Court was not worth the risk of going back. Plus, Rhysand knew they were close friends to you and Nesta – while you didn’t think he would hurt them, you didn’t want to risk it.

Solaris was a new town that had become a project for you, Nesta, and Eris. Built from the ruins of an old temple, the three of you had decided to make it a safe haven for females not just of the Autumn Court, but of anyone seeking refuge. You wanted them to have somewhere where they could build a life in a safe place, rather than simply being kept within the confines of a safehouse or library, cut off from the normalities of life.

So for the last two months, construction had been taking place in the ruins by the river, transforming it into a small village that would be expanded upon as it grew. You, Nesta, and Eris had done much of the labour yourselves, getting covered  in sweat and filth with the workers Eris had hired – workers who had baulked at seeing their High Lord and Ladies in simple trousers ready to get their hands dirty. Lucien dropped in frequently to help wherever he could, whether it be clearing out old bushes to build the foundation for a house or helping lift wooden panels onto the roofs. 

Lirilla had also taken up a big role in helping Solaris. She had hired staff to assist the refugees in the main house, providing hot meals, help with cleaning, and counselling if needed. The main house served as a stage one for the females – a communal space with the option for bunking quarters or private rooms. Everything was designed with the help of Lirilla to be as inviting as possible, promoting independence but also providing assistance when needed. The Lady of Autumn constantly bustled around, making sure everything was perfect and talking to the guests in comforting, soothing tones. The main house was being expanded upon, with more and more beds being needed as the number of females fleeing their bad situations increased. Lirilla was also in charge of the trauma team, a group of healers and therapists who acted as the first point of contact for new arrivals to ensure they were not overwhelmed. Many originated from all walks of life – daughters of nobles, former maids, bartenders, all individuals who had known suffering and wanted to help. 

Over the span of a few weeks, several houses were built. Some were small individual cottages while others were bigger, shared spaces. Once a female decided she did not need the assistance of the main house, they would be able to move to their own space, thus giving them the beginning of a new life while freeing up more space for others in the main house. It was a system you and Nesta had come up with together, with the help of Gwyn and Emerie. After only two months, Solaris went from a single refugee house to a small town with spaces for females to start their own businesses, supermarkets, activity centres, and more. Females had the option to work if they so choose, but it was not a requirement to maintain their spot in the town. 

This had caused much outrage amongst the court, that their tax dollars would be helping fund this project. Eris had quickly squashed the anger, fiercling arguing that it was the least the noble houses could do to compensate for years of suffering inflicted upon their daughters and wives. 

“It is settled then,” Eris said, clapping his hands together. “Nesta and I will leave with Athariel and Morgoth and our soldiers tomorrow at dawn. We will interrogate and prosecute those in the business of selling females. Any who are found guilty will be burned and fed to our dragons. (Y/N) will receive them at Solaris, and we will leave behind several guards and officers to make sure we have crushed this beast at its head.”

Nesta nodded, her long hair spilling down her shoulders and glistening in the afternoon light. “We must also not forget the meeting with the High Lords at the end of the month. Ensure we have everything we need ready.”

A murmur of agreements rose from the table, making you breathe a sigh of relief. The meeting was almost over. Your palms itched to get back to Solaris and work on the new stables. As much as you loved contributing to the council discussions, having Eris and Nesta there to take some of the pressure off really helped. 

But anxiety began to work its way into your brain at the thought of the next High Lords meeting. Nesta had organised it, inviting every court ruler except for the Night Court. Rumours had quickly spread regarding the turmoil that Rhysand’s court was in. Thanks to Azriel’s spies, word had spread that the High Lord had planned on essentially sacrificing the Hewn City and Illyria to Koschei. While the shadowsinger did not reside in his former court anymore, he still had loyal eyes on the inside reporting every move. Several Illyrian camps were initiating uprisings, while Kier had claimed himself King of the Hewn City in defiance of Rhysand, and refused to let the High Lord enter his mountain. 

But with such unrest came great danger to the innocent, that much you knew. To tackle the issue, all of the other High Lords were coming to the Autumn Court in two weeks to finalise a plan to safely get refugees out of the Night Court. With the looming threat of the Death God, every ruler knew that the only way Prythian stood a chance was to be united. Every night you tried not to think about the sick promise Rhys had made – Nesta’s life for Feyre’s. No doubt Koschei would be angry at the broken bargain and come to claim his prize, the Night Court and the Autumn Court being his most likely targets. Helion had been travelling to all of the courts, helping strengthen their wards and weave in intricate spells designed to keep enemies out. Thesan and Tarquin had been researching ways to help their cause, while Kallias and Tamlin worked together to build shelters and strongholds designed to wait out the incoming destruction. This next meeting would be the final runthrough of everyone’s plans, and the thought of it made you shake your leg nervously.

Nesta, having noticed your jitters while Eris droned on about logistics of the plan, spoke into your mind. What’s wrong?

I can’t stop thinking about him. You replied. About Koschei, how he’s coming for you. For all of us. It looms over me like a shadow, and I hate waiting on the edge of a battle I can’t escape.

Don’t do that to yourself. We will survive this, my love. Azriel is bringing the Harp and the Mask, and the Made Swords. We are not caught off guard by this and have time to prepare, time which we have used well. When he comes, we will handle it.

I thought the worst of this would be over.

You felt something tickle your hand. Peeking down under the table, a soft silver flame curled its way around your finger. You smiled.

It is, in a way. Nesta replied. We are facing this challenge as free females, not objects that are locked up until we are of use. Besides, you’re forgetting one very important thing.

And what is that?

You aren’t useless in this, you know. You are the Goddess of Life, the Mother incarnate. You brought someone back from the dead. You’ve already beaten death once, you will do it again. And you’re just now exploring what you can actually do with your magic, who knows what you’ll discover?

You knew Nesta was right. Every day, you tried to understand the powers Estelle had bestowed upon you. It was something you didn’t think you would ever understand, not fully. To consider yourself an incarnate version of Estelle seemed wrong – after all, you felt relatively normal. But deep down, you could tell there was an ancient song engraved in your bones, waiting to make its way to the surface. It felt like your body was but a cave, one that went hundreds of miles deep. And at the top, you could hear the faint trickling of water, carried from far away on a gentle breeze. But the further you fell into the cave, the stronger it became. No longer was the water trickling, but rather thrashing and pounding against the stone with the force of a thousand tidal waves. The gentle breeze became a harsh wind, a storm breaking way with thunder echoing to the ends of the world. So much power, in one body. The thought of it scared you, made you terrified to venture down that cave to face the storm. But you knew that no matter what, your powerful mates would be there holding your hands.

 *********************

Grateful for the chilly Autumn breeze, you wiped the sweat off your brow before picking up the hammer to put another nail in the board. Dust and dirt covered your thankfully brown work trousers, made of a thick material that allowed you to kneel on the stone-floor alleyway of the barn without hurting your knees. The white tunic you wore was drenched in sweat, but was blissfully loose and light against your skin. Grunting, you hammered the nail into place, giving the wooden board a shake to check the sturdiness. 

Satisfied, you grabbed the goblet of chilled water that an eager servant had brought you, downing the whole thing in one gulp. 

“Pace yourself,” came Nesta’s stern voice from the other side of the stall. “We have plenty of staff already working on this barn, you don’t need to do the whole thing yourself.”

“Yes, but I like helping.” You huffed, dragging another large panel of wood off the floor and hoisting it up in line with the other one.

Nesta stood up from where she was measuring and cutting rubber mats for the stalls, resting her elbows on the top of the metal gate. You glanced sheepishly at her, taking a moment to admire her messy bun and dirt-covered face. “You’ll be no use to the females coming from Crepusculum if you’ve worked yourself to death,” Nesta said. “Take a damn break.”

Sighing, you let the wooden board fall to the ground with a clatter before slumping down onto the ground, letting your legs rest and pressing your back against the newly built stall wall. A familiar redheaded servant came scampering from around the corner with a fresh jug of water, smiling and nodding her head as she poured it into your empty cup. “Your Grace,” she said politely.

“Thank you, Adelaide.” You panted, giving her a smile. The female lit up with joy, which warmed your heart. No matter how many times you addressed her by name, it drew out the same elated reaction.

“My pleasure,” She curtseyed. “You’ve done well with the construction, my Lady. Can’t say we’ve ever had a ruler who has been willing to work with us labourers.”

You smiled again reassuringly, and Nesta spoke up. “Adelaide, would you mind getting some fruit and cheese for my wife? She has neglected to eat all afternoon.”

Adelaide’s eyes widened. “Of course, Lady Nesta. Right away.” With one last nod of her head to you, the female scurried away. 

You were about to protest, but your stomach growled with hunger.

“That’s what I thought.” Nesta said smugly, coming to sit beside you. “Whatever would you do without me?”

“Die a tragic, lonely death.”

You received a sharp elbow in the side for your remark, and you both chuckled. You didn’t have to add that such a fate was almost met several times. Adelaide returned with a platter of food minutes later, and you suggested she bring a similar offering to Gwyn and Emerie, who were working in the main house with Lirilla. Smoked applewood cheddar, fresh grapes and apples, creamy brie, and red pepper jelly with crackers lined the golden platter, making you salivate.

Nesta slathered a spoonful of the jelly on her cracker with a thick slab of brie before popping it in her mouth. “This is delicious,” she mumbled. “A year ago I wouldn’t have touched any of this. Feels like a lifetime ago.”

You felt the weight of her words hanging in the air. “Things were very different a year ago,” you said quietly. “It’s been a year since my village was destroyed and Lucien took me to the Night Court. Who would have thought that this was where I’d end up?”

Nesta was quiet for a minute, as if a shadow hung over her head. “If you could change anything that happened, would you?” She asked after a while. 

You thought about it, the timeline of the last year almost blurry. You hadn’t even realised that it was almost precisely a year ago in May when Hybern came for your village. Your entire life, your hopes and dreams, your plans for the future - all altered forever within that one hour. “Yes and no,” you answered. “I will always wish my parents and friends were still here. That will never go away, I think. But bad things happen, and we cannot change it now. Besides, everything that has happened led me to you and Eris.”

Nesta sighed, resting her head on the smooth wood behind her. She turned to look at you, a hint of sadness swimming in her grey eyes. “And you really think we’re worth that? That every horrible thing you endured was a price worth paying?”

It broke your heart a little to see your mate’s self-doubt. While Nesta had come a long way in her healing, there was still a way to go. The emotional wounds she carried seemed to linger, picking away at her brain and trying to bring her down. You knew the feeling.

“Yes,” you replied with reassurance, grabbing her hand and gently brushing your fingers over the stacked wedding ring set between her knuckles. Nesta smiled softly, picking up a grape and holding it up to your lips. Eagerly, you took it in your mouth.

“Well, aren’t you two a sight.” A familiar quiet voice made you and Nesta jump out of your skins. Whipping your head around to the barn entrance, your gaze landed on Azriel, who was leaning against the wooden beams with his arms crossed.

“Gods, Azriel,” Nesta snapped. “How long have you been standing there?”

He shrugged, hazel eyes flickering with amusement. “I figured I’d let you two finish up your moment.”

“You’re so fucking creepy, you know that, right?” You grumbled, picking the grapes off the floor that your knee had knocked over. 

“So I’ve been told,” the Illyrian responded dryly, pushing himself off the beam and standing upright. “I am sorry to interrupt, but Gwyn told me I could find you both here. You’re wanted at the main house, Eris is on his way.”

You scrambled to your feet, brushing the sawdust off of your legs and fixing your hair slightly. Your husband hadn’t mentioned anything about a visit from Azriel today, making you worry.

“Is everything okay?” Nesta asked, echoing your thoughts.

“Generally speaking, yes.” Azriel replied, his tone giving nothing away. “I have news from the Night Court, and a delivery.”

Your breath hitched in your throat, and you exchanged a glance with Nesta. “The Troves and the Made Weapons?”

The male simply nodded stiffly, and you knew there was more but didn’t push it. Whatever it was, Azriel would likely wait until everyone was present to discuss it. Wordlessly, he turned to leave the barn, letting you and Nesta follow him.

It was a fifteen minute walk to the main house, one that was taken in silence. Nerves churned in your gut, unsure of what was to come. As if sensing that, Nesta placed her hand on your lower back, her comforting touch bringing you a moment of peace.

When you climbed the stone steps and reached the arching green doors of the main house, Azriel paused, turning around to face you and Nesta. “There’s also someone I want you to meet,” he said, voice laced with low seriousness. “She may be cautious and afraid, so be nice. Both of you.”

You both nodded, before opening the doors and stepping into the entrance hall. The large grey pillars in the hall were carved to look like trees, vines wrapped around them to create a welcoming environment. A small fire pit in the centre warmed the room, a few females scuttling about in the background under the low light.

But in front of the fire stood Lirilla, russet hair gleaming. Next to her was a small, winged female with long black hair that was braided behind her head. Her face was thin, and her hazel eyes wide like a frightened deer. Lirilla whispered something in her ear, and the female’s shoulders relaxed a little, but there was no mistaking the nervousness emitting from her. You couldn’t help but stare at the nasty scar that ran down her wings in the same spot as Emerie’s.

“My darlings,” Lirilla spoke up with a smile in your direction, her voice like warm honey. “How are the stables coming along? Not working yourselves too hard, I hope.”

“Slow but steady,” Nesta replied politely, pausing her steps a healthy distance away. You did the same. “They should be ready within a week or so.”

“Excellent!” Lirilla cheered.

Azriel stepped forward, and the dark-haired female smiled at him gently. With pride, he held out his hand and the female took it gently, coming up to stand beside him. “This is my mother, Roslyn.” Azriel said. “Mother, meet Nesta and (Y/N) Vanserra, High Ladies of the Autumn Court. Married to Eris, unfortunately.”

“Don’t be rude,” Roslyn scolded her son with a tone only a mother could possess before turning back to you and Nesta. She curtseyed awkwardly.

“There’s no need for such formalities,” Nesta said gently. “Especially here.”

Roslyn smiled shyly, letting go of Azriel’s hand. She stepped forward, straightening her spine and looking between you and Nesta. Her gaze was like fire, those hazel eyes burning with an untold story. She took your hand in her left one, and Nesta’s in her right. “It is an honour to meet you both,” she said firmly. “Azriel has told me so much about you. You poor things, you’ve been through so much…”

Azriel coughed awkwardly, placing a scarred hand on his mother’s shoulder. “Mother, we don’t need to get into this…”

“Hush,” Roslyn scoffed at him, ignoring her son. “I just want you both to know that you’ve done so much for females all across Prythian, and I thank you for it. You’re both so strong.”

Nesta blushed with embarrassment, shrugging modestly. “Well, it’s not hard to enact and enforce new laws in Autumn with two mates and three dragons behind you.”

The Illyrian female shook her head. “Not just in Autumn, darling. Everywhere.”

You frowned in confusion. “Everywhere?”

Roslyn’s hazel eyes lit up as she nodded. “It is not just word of your law changes that have been spreading amongst the courts. Everyone is talking about the High Ladies who are working among the lesser fae building a village for refugees. Even I hear whispers of it, all the way in my remote village in the mountains. You have inspired many.”

“We will discuss the impacts of your reign in our meeting with Eris.” Azriel interrupted her gently. The shadowsinger gave you a look, one that warned you to not continue that topic with his mother. An uneasy feeling stirred in your gut - Roslyn seemed like it was good news that was going to be shared, making you wonder if Azriel was not disclosing all the details with her. 

“Of course,” Roslyn said, letting go of your hands and giving you both another small smile. “I must get going, I am helping Lirilla with baking. There’s much to be done, and I look forward to getting to know you both.”

She reached up and gave Azriel a kiss on the cheek before taking Lirilla’s arm, following her down one of the corridors. Once her crippled wings disappeared out of sight, Azriel let out a breath. “She will be dying to spend more time with you once she settles in, I promise. I apologise for the rushed introduction.”

“Is she coming to live here?” Nesta asked.

Azriel nodded. “If you’ll have her, yes. I want her as far away from the Night Court as possible given everything that’s happening. She has already seen enough horrors, and if she can be protected from that here, I swear to you I will be eternally in your debt.”

“There is no debt to be had, Azriel.” Your mate said gently, her eyes softened. “Of course she can stay here.”

The shadowsinger breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank you, truly.”

“What exactly is happening in the Night Court?” You asked, unable to hold the question back any further.

A sombre look came over Azriel’s eyes. “We will discuss it once Eris is here. I just didn’t want it brought up with my mother around. She… she doesn’t know just how bad things are, and I’d like to keep it that way until she’s settled.”

“Of course.” You replied. “I’ve never really heard you mention your mother.”

“Few know about her, not even Rhys knows where she has been living. She’s… uneasy around males sometimes. As much as I know you love Eris, it is why I hurried her away before he got here. Please, do not take it personally.”

“We understand,” Nesta said. You nodded in solidarity. With what Azriel had told you about the Illyrians, it was understandable that whatever trauma Roslyn had would make her nervous around males. It reminded you of why you created Solaris in the first place, and made you wonder how long it would take for this village to turn into a city of its own.

The sound of footsteps distracted you from your thoughts. You and Nesta both turned to see Gwyn and Emerie skipping across the room towards you. They each wore a soft chiffon dress with a square neckline and billowy sleeves - Gwyn in white, and Emerie in light green. 

“Hey guys!” Gwyn squealed happily, giving you and Nesta a big hug. 

“Hey!” You exclaimed through Gwyn’s tight squeeze. “What have you two been up to all morning?”

“Arranging furniture and decorations!” Gwyn said proudly.

“Correction,” Emerie scoffed, coming up behind the priestess and giving her a glare. Sweat dripped from her brow, and her dress had sweat marks on it. “I’ve been arranging the furniture, you’ve just been bossing me around and micromanaging the tiniest details.”

You chuckled, and Gwyn snorted. “It’s not my fault you have no eye for design and I have to tell you what to do.”

Emerie rolled her eyes good naturedly, giving Gwyn a light shove before turning to Nesta and you. “Azriel said we had to come to this meeting. Is it starting soon or can I return to my backbreaking labour?”

You frowned, turning to Azriel for an explanation. 

“Just trust me, you’ll see why,” was all he said.

Right as Nesta began chatting with Gwyn and Emerie about the book selection for the library, the mighty doors of the hall creaked open, and that bond in your chest sang as Eris walked in.

“Ah, I see we are all here already. Lovely.” Eris clapped his hands together. “I cancelled an important meeting for this, Azriel. Best make it worth my valuable time.”

You rolled your eyes as Eris planted a quick kiss on your cheek, then Nesta’s. Your face flushed with red, and you avoided Emerie’s mischievous smile that you knew would make you laugh.

“Trust me, it is.” Azriel said. “Is the room secure?”

“Yes, but you already knew that.” Eris said sharply, eyes narrowing. “Why, may I ask?”

Wordlessly, Azriel reached into a pocket of shadows that had formed in the air beside him. In his scarred hand emerged a bundle of objects wrapped in a dark blanket. Instantaneously, the air thickened and grew heavy, an unsettling thrum of power coming from the blanket covered objects. Walking a few steps to a nearby table, Azriel set the objects down, the shadows carefully peeling away the blanket as if the things inside were ticking bombs.

Inside of the thick blanket was a golden mask, a harp, a mighty sword, and a small dagger. 

Nesta sucked in a breath, her eyes glowing slightly as a humming sound emitted from the two Dead Troves and the Made blades in front of you. It was like a song of death and eternity, one that sang to the flames in Nesta’s blood. You saw her inch towards it, lured towards the objects like a sailor following the sound of a siren.

You and everyone else on the other hand, took a step back. Every part of you screamed to get away from the objects on the table. Their presence felt like oil on your skin, like lead in your bones - a rotting sickness of power yet a tempting allure at the same time. Beside you, Gwyn had tucked herself behind Azriel, her teal eyes wide with awe. The shadowsinger had an arm extended in front of her slightly, as if ready to shield her from anything the objects might do.

“Holy shit…” Emerie muttered.

“The Troves and Made blades possessed by the Night Court, as promised.” Azriel said.

Nesta blinked, as if breaking a spell between her and the objects on the table. “Rhys really let you just take them? Didn’t try and weasel his way out of our deal?”

Azriel’s face betrayed no emotion as he spoke. “Yes, right before he told me to never come back to his court. And for all his faults, his love for Feyre is enough to make him hand the troves and blades over with no resistance.”

“How is she?” Nesta asked. You could tell her voice was trying to remain neutral, but a hint of worry laced it.

“Recovering. Eris’s healers delivered her son, Nyx, a few days ago. She is in pain and will take a while to recover, but she is alive. As promised.”

Nesta breathed a sigh of relief, closing her eyes. You wondered if at that moment, she wished she could see her sister. Despite all that had happened, you knew a part of Nesta still held love for her family deep down.

“Speaking of bargains,” Eris interrupted, as if to draw the attention away from any emotion Nesta may have towards Feyre. “Any word on how Rhys is handling getting out of his deal with Koschei? I have no intention of letting a death God waltz into my court and steal my wife away because of a stupid deal he made with that bat.”

The spymaster shook his head. “No, he has bigger problems right now. That’s why I called this meeting.” Azriel took a breath, and it was the most hesitant you had ever seen the male. After weeks of him playing both sides, it had finally come for him to pick one. Whatever he was about to say was simply the final nail in the coffin that marked his betrayal to his home court.

“There has been extreme violence and rioting within Illyria and the Hewn City,” He continued. “The Night Court is a ticking time bomb on the brink of a civil war I fear it will never recover from. Everyone knows Rhys is losing control, and many hands are grasping for power and shedding blood over it.”

“We knew this already.” You said.

“My mother mentioned that you and Nesta’s recent changes and activities have influenced the other courts. She is under the impression that they are peacefully protesting for more rights and equality after seeing another High Lord and Ladies actually doing work to hel[ them. But that is only part of the truth. Several groups of females in the Hewn City have banded together, and have begun fighting back against the males. Refusing to consummate marriages, ignoring their husbands orders, things like that. And in Illyria, several females have poisoned generals or slashed their throats while they slept, demanding that if their High Lord and Lady do not fight for them, they will make sure there is no army left for them to use in battle.”

Emerie blanched beside you, looking like she was going to be sick. You felt the same, dreading Azriel’s next words that you knew were coming.

“Such unrest has not been…. met well, shall we say. Many females have died or been beaten as a result of their disobedience. But they keep fighting.” Azriel’s face was laced with sadness as he spoke.

“There’s not nearly enough females in Illyria for their tactic to work,” Emerie blurted out with tears in her eyes. “They will be slaughtered if they keep this up.”

Azriel spoke gently this time towards Emerie. “It seems they are willing to pay that price. They’re willing to die just to shed light on their situation and force their rulers to intervene. With no females, the army will not be sustained.”

“How many?” Emerie asked sternly, her voice thick with emotion. “How many have died or suffered worse fates than death as a result of this?”

“Eighty-two in the Hewn City, a hundred and thirteen in Illyria.” 

Gwyn quickly moved out from behind Azriel to wrap her arms around Emerie, who stared blankly into the floor as a tear fell down her face. 

“We have to get them out,” Eris spoke up, straightening his shoulders. “Before this escalates.”

“That is why I called this meeting,” Azriel said. “We are running out of time. The females are running out of time. It won’t take long for the males to crush this rebellion, despite the fact they’re fighting on two fronts: one against the females, and one against Rhysand.”

You let out a shaky breath. Just as you had planned all those months ago, the Night Court was in shambles. Rhysand’s rule was finally being questioned, his neglect of two thirds of his citizens finally being addressed – but at what cost?

“How do we get them out without entering the Night Court?” Nesta asked, crossing her arms. “We cannot cross their border to help the females, as good as the intentions are it would be considered an act of war, one we cannot risk invoking. While we have strategies with the other High Lords regarding passage into their courts, we do not have the same for the Night Court, nor have we told them how exactly we plan on ferrying the females out of Night.”

Everyone around the table went silent, the only sound being the crackling of the fire and the hum of the mask, harp, and blades. Every so often, Nesta’s eyes flicked to it, as if trying to ignore its call.

“A whisper network…” Gwyn’s quiet voice broke the silence. She straightened her spine, resting her hands on the table before repeating herself louder. “A whisper network could be the solution. Spread word amongst the females of Illyria in the Hewn City on how to escape and where to go if they want out.”

“That is a big risk, Gwyn,” Eris said carefully. “They could easily be caught, or followed. Many may be too frightened to leave.”

“But at least they’ll have the choice.” Your friend insisted with confidence. “Yes, it is a risk. Many might not make the journey, either by choice or chance. But I see no other way to do this without breaking the law.”

Eris cocked his head, contemplating the priestesses’s words before turning to Azriel. “How many connections do you still have to your spies in the Night Court?”

“Enough,” he answered. “I think Gwyn’s idea could work. If we have a solid plan and a route organised, we have a chance. But like Eris said, there’s a possibility they will be discovered and hunted down on their escape.”

“So we create a distraction,” you said, the idea forming. “Force the armies elsewhere. Even if the armies aren’t listening to Rhys as much anymore, they would still move to defend their home. All we’d have to do would be to draw them out, leaving not many left behind to guard the females.”

Eris shifted on his feet. “They could easily know it’s a trap.”

“Not necessarily,” Nesta piped up. “The Night Court knows it is hated by the other courts, just like they know that any perception of them being weak could be seen as an opportunity for others to invade. If we stage our own army to distract them just outside the borders, it would be believable. Especially if Tamlin’s army was with us.”

The next few minutes were filled with aching silence. You could see Eris’s mind turning, contemplating every outcome of the scenario presented by you, Gwyn, and Nesta. “It could work…” Eris said slowly. “And again, many females may be too afraid to leave. But at least it would be their choice.”

“We can discuss it at the High Lord’s meeting in two weeks.” Nesta insisted.

“It needs to be sooner.” Emerie said boldly. All eyes turned towards the Illyrian female. The tears in her eyes were gone, replaced with steady determination as she continued. “The females don’t have two weeks at this rate. The longer you wait, the more will be killed.”

“We can send out letters right now, requesting the meeting in two days.” You suggested. “Meanwhile, we can plan an escape route that takes them to the Eastern cove in the Day Court, just south of the Hewn City for those in the Court of Nightmares. And to one of the coastlines by the Illyrian Steppes for the Illyrian females - we can have ships waiting there. That way we can launch a distraction on the Western coast by Velaris to get the armies as far away as possible.”

Azriel perked up a bit, as if a flicker of hope was growing in his chest. “That’s doable. The road will be tricky, and difficult to navigate. It is easy to get lost. We’d have to leave some sort of trail, which is impossible.”

Nesta huffed in frustration beside you. With every step forward of your plan to help the females, a new complication arose. Without being able to step foot past the border, finding a way to guide the females would be difficult. Part of you wished you had Estelle for guidance.

Estelle.

An idea formed in your mind, a chilling re-realisation spreading over you. You and Estelle were one in the same – you did not need to seek her guidance, for it was already within you. As was the life-magic you now possessed. 

“We may not be able to walk in and lay a trail, but magic could.” You said.

Eris quirked an eyebrow. “Elaborate, my love?”

You stepped back, taking a deep breath and ignored the puzzled looks everyone gave you. For weeks, you had been practising channelling your magic, trying to understand exactly what it was. You began to think of your magic as a light, a light that could be shaped and moulded into whatever you wanted – a sword for battle, a destructive blast, or simply a dust to bring life to a dying flower patch. So you summoned that familiar, warm light into your hands, and Gwyn and Emerie’s eyes widened. Within seconds, the light changed shape, morphing into a small, glowing white fox. 

Eris let out a chuckle as the fox crept towards him, circling his feet before bounding down the hall, disappearing into mist before reaching the door.

“Since when could you do that shit?” Emerie asked, slack jawed. 

“A few weeks now,” you replied. “I can control it pretty far, and am confident I could use my magic to create something for the females to follow.”

“Incredible.” Azriel muttered. “I could go over a detailed map with you, that way you know the exact route. Emerie, you know some of the Illyrian villages and passages quite well. You could help us out.”

Gwyn coughed, making Azriel turn towards her. You watched in amusement as she raised her chin defiantly and crossed her arms. “And what exactly can I do to help? Surely you won’t just have me sitting here on my ass. If you can get me to the priestesses, I can get them to help spread the word.”

“Absolutely not.” You, Nesta, and Azriel said at the same time. 

She scoffed. “I will be helping. I don’t care if you’re my High Ladies, or my… companion. None of you get to stop me from helping see this through. I will find my way into the Library either with or without you.”

Nesta raised an eyebrow, and you knew she’d be grilling Gwyn about her slip up later. But the priestess stood firm, not backing down. Gone was the shy female who was afraid of the outside world. Gwyn would take down anyone who stood in the way of her and helping females avoid the same fate she suffered.

“Lucien can take you,” You finally said. “He’s the least likely to draw attention, and he’s been to the House before. I will get him to take you.”

Gwyn nodded. “Good.”

Azriel opened his mouth to speak, but a sharp look from the priestess shut him up. 

“What are we going to do about the Troves and the weapons?” Nesta asked. “The sword and dagger I wish to keep for myself, but the harp and the mask… I have no interest in touching those things again.”

“We could ward them in the dragon cave,” Eris suggested. “Have the dragons guard them. If we need them for anything, you can summon them yourself. But only if absolutely necessary.”

Nesta nodded, her hands clenched. It was clear the mere presence of the Troves was affecting her, urging her to use them and their ancient magic. Your head was beginning to hurt from the thrum of their power. “Let’s get these blasted things away,” you said.

“I couldn’t agree more,” Eris concurred, rubbing his temples. “It is settled, then. Azriel, you will work with my love and Emerie on the escape routes for the females in the Night Court, then take Gwyn and meet with your spies. Once the route and timing is decided and confirmed with us, begin spreading the word. Nesta will send out letters to the other High Lords to move the meeting up, and I will arrange the army's movements to begin the distraction.”

 This was it. The next few days would be the final step in the plan you had concocted months ago, the plan you never expected to succeed this far. After everything that had happened, this was the final hurdle you needed to jump. Just one more thing, you kept telling yourself. Just one more thing until you could finally feel at peace.

With a flick of Eris’s wrist, the Troves were gone, and everyone got to work.

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[daeneryseastar]

It absolutely gets me that the whole thing about Rhaneyra putting her siblings to the sword was made up by Otto, Rhaenyra did nothing to indicate that she would; Alicent just fixated on it like- how do they forget that they literally pulled that crock of shit out of thin air? 😭

it gets me too, especially show-wise. the only time rhaenyra shows any bit of fire against her siblings is during the driftmark incident, where it is blatantly obvious to anyone with a brain that she was bluffing when asking for aemond to be sharply questioned. granted, should she have done it? no. is she also a mother trying her best to protect her kids? and not being a super uber-perfect person in the process? yes to both. this is yet another change from the book i don't like, considering alicent demands luke's eye in retribution first, and rhaenyra retaliates against that rather than starting it.

i'm also adding some significant points that make no sense in the greater context if alicent truly thought her children's lives were endangered; which is how she actively antagonizes rhaenyra. in both medias. she raises her children to hate rhaenyra, to view their nephews as inferior and subhuman to them due to their blood, she instills fear for their lives as a part of their everyday activities, she tells her children that aegon will be king no matter what (which is treason, so she doesn't seem to care that badly about her children being found out as participants of those efforts). she does not act like someone who believes her children are going to be murdered once rhaenyra ascends the throne. it's why i can't take her stans seriously. none of her actions make sense in the grand scheme of things. she purposefully makes an enemy that is (TO HER) capable of cold-blooded murder. what terrified mother would do that?

there's also this fetish for infantilizing and victimizing alicent and co. otto manipulated her when she was a teen, which is a fair take. otto was also ostracized from court for TEN years. ten years with minimal to no contact with alicent. she is no longer a child during that time, she is a grown woman with four children to raise and a perfectly good brain to use. we're not shown or told once that rhaenyra *ever* showed an ounce of violence towards her siblings, and at most, she was indifferent to them. it is stated, however, that during that time skip alicent bullied and harassed rhaenyra, to the point where she abandoned the capital to have peace of mind and safety for her own children. still not the actions of a terrified mother (she also wasn't manipulated into doing any of that; it was all of her own accord because she hated that rhaenyra was afforded more freedom and leeway than she was).

what's more, there is minimal, if any, precedent that rhaenyra would be forced to kill her siblings to secure the throne. viserys was only the fifth targaryen king, not exactly enough time to really establish any killing family as a basis. maegor is the only one to have done so, and he's reviled for it even up to the current timeline. it is even thought that his death was the consequence of kinslaying. it's not normal. there has technically been some sort of succession crisis for almost all the rulers up to this time: aegon the uncrowned and maegor, rhaena and jaehaerys, baelon and rhaenys, viserys and rhaenys/laenor. there are, once again, many ways for aegon, aemond, and daeron to renounce their claim to the throne (night's watch, kingsguard, maester); but that would take away the power alicent and otto wanted to have, so not an option.

i wouldn't even consider daemon that much of a threat if rhaenyra had ascended peacefully. they've changed his character significantly in the show, but daemon explicitly states in fire and blood that they need to find a peaceful way to end this dispute, and not resort to fighting dragons versus dragons (a line they gave to rhaenys in the show) because it would only end in disaster. he doesn't resort to any brutality until after the first blood is drawn by the green's.

basically, it's just another ploy, a 'red herring' if you will, to distract from the true reason why rhaenyra was usurped (and hook, line, sinker; it's working fantastically for some in the fandom).

[small-giggle]

hi :)

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intro post✨

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last edit: 07/08/2024 8:22am

call me angel or jelly

please dont use capitals for my name

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