#I know life is hard and we shouldn't take it personally and we should never expect people to coddle us and blah blah

[jealousmartini]

hi! i saw ur post where u mention age change with loa and could u talk more about that? cause i just turned 20, but i wanna be 17 again just so i can experience teenage things (i had depression and extreme social anxiety my whole teenagehood). i wanna feel young and do things right, apply everything i know now to this time in my life cause i can't help but feeling so old speacially since i have zero "firsts", like i'm 20 and no first crush or first kiss (ik it's not the end of the world, but i want back the expirences i was stolen from). i don't wanna over-explain myself nor trauma dump on u, but basically i just wanna start over yk? i know nothing is impossible to loa, truly know, but this one wish makss me insecure cause that will mean i was born in 2007 instead of 2004 and my old classmates werent really my classmates which is okay cause i never liked them but instead i had different ones that i don't know? i don't know if i'm making sense here, sorry to be asking u these things but ur the only person i've seen talking about age change so i'll be very thankful to anything u have to say to me. hope u have a good day :)

This ask unironically made me frown, like so hard, knowing that manifesters like you have to ask if starting over is okay because of the heavy misrepresentation and misunderstanding of manifesters and shifters who age change.

My love, OF COURSE you can. I cannot believe we have come to the point, on the interent as a whole, that people feel that they need to ask permission on what to do with THEIR LIVES, because the all high and mighty LOA police feel like they have the right to dictate what others should and shouldn't do with their lives.

And God forbid you don't obey them because then they'll throw every derogatory name, they'll diagnose you with every mental illness they want to insult you with (that they don't even understand), they'll assume that utmost worst about you, and take to their side of the community to shame you infront of them all. It's genuinely appalling.

Which is why I finally reminded myself a couple years ago that these people are not my mum. I have free will to do what I want with MY LIFE and whatever they say are nothing more than opinions that I can literally choose to listen to or to ignore. I refuse to fall into the trap of giving power, MY power away to outsiders and let them control me because real talk now, what are they actually going to do? At the end of the day they can cry, shout, rip their hair out on camera an tell me how insne I am for not having the same views as them, but none of that's stopping me from sleeping with their mum AND dad in another reality

Long story short, my answer is yes, you can start over and change the year you were born hun. You can do whatever you want because this is your call. Do what YOU want, not whatever the LOA police deems acceptable by their beliefs

[eikichi-supremacy]

hey so do you think wtv keiko had to deal with growing up with yusuke could be considered a type of parentification

[rose-tinted-nostalgia]

.

[watchmegetobsessed]

ON REPEAT

A/N: we all saw the vid of him tongueing his guitar... yeah... the devil works hard but i work harder

WORD COUNT: 2.4k

WARNING: sexual content

SUMMARY: As his personal assistant, you definitely shouldn't be havin dirty thoughts of Harry, especially not about the way his tongue on his guitar. But it's hard to resist and you need relief, but you never thought your boss would be more than willing to help you out.

MASTERLIST | SUPPORT ME!

You watch it happen and in a third of a second you are no different than the screaming girls out there in the pit and the stands, only that you can’t scream from the top of your lungs when Harry mimics to be playing his guitar with his tongue.

It’s vile. It’s maddening and it should definitely not turn you on the way it does, because he is your boss. He is not just a rock star for you, a person far out of your reach, he is your job, you manage his everyday life for a living so you surely should not be having dirty thoughts at the sight of his tongue on a guitar’s neck.

But you do. You very much do and the fantasies are so bad you can actually feel your panties getting wet in an instant as you stand by the stage and watch him carry his performance on as if he didn’t just destroy all ovaries in the arena and because there’s probably hundreds of videos now of his little stunt, you know it will continue to sweep through the whole world by the morning.

The after show period is the same as always. Harry runs off stage, he changes faster than lightning and before the first people could step out of the arena the two of you are in the backseat of a car, heading out to avoid the traffic his own show usually creates.

“You’re quiet tonight,” he comments.

You don’t dare to look at him, especially not because you can smell him from this close, locked up together in the car. The smell of his shower gel from before the show is still lingering on his skin but it is not mixed with his sweat, the smell of his own body that you spent two hours to stare at and have the most ravenous and lustful thoughts you’ve ever had since you’ve realized you have a crush on your boss.

This is what hell must be like.

“I’m good, just tired,” you shrug and continue staring out the window. You can feel his excruciating gaze on you, it’s burning your skin, but you keep your eyes on the outside world, hoping to survive this five minute car ride without moaning or whimpering in front of him.

You practically run to your room once you’ve parted ways in the hallway and when you throw yourself onto the perfectly made bed you scream into the pillow, letting out the pent up frustration you battled with all evening.

Out of all men in the world why did you have to fall for your boss? Why do you find him the best looking man to ever exist? Your body and mind has betrayed you and now you have to bear the consequences of it.

Your teeth sink into your bottom lip when you pull your phone out and go online, looking for a video of the guitar stunt. It takes about five seconds to stumble upon it and because it was taken by a fan, it was recorded from a lower point and it just adds to the weight of it.

You watch it over and over and over… and over again.

And before you could even realize what you’re doing, your hand is between your legs, applying pressure at the right spot over your shorts, your heart beat is picking up and an occasional swear word leaves your parted lips every once in a while.

What you don’t notice is that you did not close your room’s door fully when you rushed inside, so when Harry comes over to ask if he could grab your phone charger, because his just died, he can easily push the door open and step inside without making a sound when he hears your whimpers and the video playing over and over again.

He knows which part it is, he remembers it clearly, because he knew it would make his fans go crazy, but he did not expect to catch you watching it back… and enjoy it this much.

He stays hidden for a bit and selfishly listens to your sounds. Adrenaline boosts through his veins as he realizes that you’re playing with yourself while watching the video of him and well… it is definitely doing things to him.

Just like the shorts you were wearing tonight, all those silky skin you were showing, the curve of your ass peeking out from underneath, Harry had to take a second shower when he saw you bend down for something. And now he caught you playing with yourself while thinking about him.

He knows he has to make a decision. Walk out, close the door and pretend he never heard anything or walk in and do what he’s been fantasizing about probably since he hired you to be his assistant.

His legs move before the decision is processed in his mind.

He walks out from his hiding spot and it takes a moment for you to register his presence and realize that it’s not just a hallucination, he did in fact just walk into your room while you were masturbating to a video of him.

“Oh my God!” you scream and the phone goes flying out of your hands, dropping to the floor, but the video is still playing. Your heart is threatening to burst right out of your chest and jump to Harry’s feet and you’re trying to grab the sheets to cover yourself even though you’re not naked, but Harry is quick to climb onto the bed and stop you from doing it. To put some more distance between the two of you, you push up against the headboard and shut your legs closed tight, horror etched onto your face as your mind is racing, trying to find a way to explain yourself, but you know there’s nothing you could say that would get you out of this mess.

Harry, on the other hand, is enjoying this more than he should, probably. The shame on your face, the way your body is still in a state of lust but also in shock, this is thrilling, knowing he did this to you, the woman who is usually so laid back he can’t ever read your body language.

His eyes are glued to your face as he reaches out and places his hands on your trembling knees. Part of him is disappointed you’re not rambling, trying to talk yourself out of it, but it’s also hot that you are not denying what you’ve been just caught doing.

“Open your legs, Y/N,” he speaks up in a husky, gut wrenching voice and if you weren’t scared for your life (and job), you might have come just from that.

When you don’t move, just stare back at him, he applies the tiniest bit of pressure on your knees to push them apart and your body gives up resistance instantly.

The hunger that flashes through his eyes when he sees that you’ve drenched your panties and shorts good enough to have a visible spot on them, right in front of him now sends a shiver down your spine. And then when he reaches out and runs just one single finger, his middle finger down the seam, you fear your soul has left your body.

“I can leave you and finish on your own, Y/N. Or I can do it for you. Your choice.”

Fuck, your mind feels so heavy and fogged up, you are not in the state to make a decision, let alone one that could have an effect on your life, but it’s like there’s an emergency window has been broken and something else has taken over you, you find yourself speaking up.

“I want you to do it.”

The smirk that spreads across his face twists your inside and you don’t even have time to process it when he climbs over you like a hungry lion and claims your mouth in a deep, demanding kiss that has you seeing stars.

With his mouth still devouring your lips, one of his hands move to grab yours and brings it over to his head.

“If you want to grab onto something, it can only be my hair, understood?” he talks against your mouth and all you can do is nod and let out a whimper. He smirks, so pleased with himself before moving back down and sitting down between your now open legs. He hooks his fingers into your shorts and underwear at the same time and then tugs them down with a swift motion, baring you in front of him, revealing just how much he has turned you on.

“Fuck, baby. Look at you! So wet and ready for me. It’s not the first time I’ve turned you on, right?” His eyes snap up to meet you as he reaches out and runs two of his fingers down your cunt. The touch feels like electricity, your whole body reacts and your knees start shaking.

“No,” you breathe out.

“That’s what I thought,” he chuckles lowly. “Next time, Y/N, you’re coming straight to me. No toying, no touching yourself, I want to be the only one to make you come. Understood?”

You just nod again, but this time he doesn’t take it as an answer.

“I need you to use your pretty voice.”

“Understood,” you manage to speak out, but the word melts into a moan when his fingers start circling on your clit.

“Good girl.”

Fast and graciously, he gets onto his stomach and before you could even appreciate the sight of him between your legs, his mouth latches onto your pussy and it’s game over for you.

You vaguely remember his request to only hold onto his hair and that’s what you do, you grab his chocolate curls with so much force it stings his scalp, but it also sends waves of pleasure down is groin as well while.

It shouldn’t be a surprise to you that he is fucking amazing in it, that Harry Styles can eat pussy like he does it for a living, that his mouth and tongue know exactly what to do to have your eyes roll to the back of your head from the pleasure. It’s scandalous that he is so good at everything and deep down you already know you’ll never find a man who could eat you out like this ever again.

“Harry, of my God!” you groan out, your back arching when you feel his tongue pushing inside you before it’s replaced by his fingers again.

Harry has heard you say his name a million times in every possible way. Or so he thought. Because this lustful, begging, whiny way is a new way and it is easily his favorite now.

He would want nothing more than to have you some on his mouth, but he also want to selfishly eat up your moans as you orgasm, so right before you could reach your peak he pulls back. You’re just about to complain when he moves up your body and his mouth occupies yours, his hand remaining between your legs, two fingers curling inside you just as he kisses you again. You shake and squirm and his fingers are working their magic on you and you realize you should be giving back as well.

With your lips attached to his you manage to reach down and into his pants, Harry tries to protest, only wanting this to be about you but he is too late and when he feels your hand wrap around his cock, giving him a delicious squeeze, the words die down in his throat.

You both are one big mess. Hands between each other’s legs, mouths hungrily colliding, it’s a state that’s almost too much but you also don’t want this to ever end. When you can feel your orgasm threatening to tip over the edge you start to stroke him faster and harder which earns the most beautiful, torturous moan to bubble from his throat.

You come hard and long, gasping for air, his name rolling off your tongue and into his mouth and he swallows it already wanting more. Your hands fall out of rhythm for a bit, but as soon as you’re coming off your high you return to pleasuring him and when you hook a leg over his waist the position ending up with his tip pressing against your pussy he gives you a look that says he is just about to chase after you.

A few more strokes and he is coming over your stomach, spilling his pleasure onto your shirt and the bedsheet as well, but you couldn’t care less. You keep your hands moving until you know he has given you his all and then you both roll to your back and stare up at the ceiling in your post orgasm haze.

You have absolutely no idea how much time passes before Harry pushes himself up from the bed and disappears in the bathroom only to return with a damp towel. Climbing back next to you he gently cleans you up between your legs and also wipes your stomach before leaning down and pressing a soft kiss above your belly button. Throwing the towel beside the bed he moves closer and curls an arm around your waist as he holds himself up on his other arm, looking down at you with bright, gleaming eyes.

“What?” you ask when he just keeps staring at you.

“I know I shouldn’t be talking about work right now, but I need you to do something.”

For a moment you fear that the aftermath of it all will be a disaster and he is bringing up work because he wants this to be just a one time thing and might be already regretting it.

“Okay,” you breathe out with wide eyes, which makes Harry laugh.

“I need you to cancel your rooms for the rest of the tour.”

“What?” Terror flashes through your body for a moment, thinking that he is about to fire you.

“You’re gonna sleep in my room, because I want to do this every night. On repeat. And even more.”

This fucker.

Smacking his chest you groan in relief as he just keeps laughing at your reaction.

“You couldn’t have possibly thought I would kick you out after this. Y/N, what kind of man do you think I am?” he pretends to be hurt.

“An asshole! That’s what you are!”

“But you want this asshole, right? In your bed.” He leans down and kisses you. “Between your legs.” Another kiss. “All the time. Right?”

“Fuck off,” you mumble, but pull his face down anyway, kissing away your frustration with how much you truly want and how cocky he will be about this for probably the longest time ever.

Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed and buy me a coffee if you want to support me!

[mcflymemes]

GONE GIRL (2014) PROMPTS *  assorted dialogue, adjust as necessary

what are you thinking? how are you feeling? what have we done to each other?

i felt i needed to shoot something.

we've never fucked in a bookstore.

you know i have to kiss you now.

sometimes i want to punch us in the face, we're so cute.

when you're upset, you bottle up.

brought you a present.

i need you. now. touch me.

that's very sweet of you and very unnecessary.

pour me a bourbon, would you?

it's a bad day.

i'm so crazy, stupid happy.

i met a boy. a great, gorgeous, sweet, cool-ass guy.

things could get ugly.

whose beer am i drinking?

i prefer men who are funny, not "funny."

i'm the guy to save you from all this awesomeness.

it's hard to believe you. i think it's your chin.

you are way too into that cat.

tell me how it ends.

i'm not someone who hits the panic button, but... it's weird, right?

you mind if we look around?

so what do you do now? for work.

perfect, time for a quick tour of my failings.

i love your parents, but they can be assholes.

people want to hear from you.

i thought that'd be embarrassing.

i am here on a strictly journalistic capacity.

[name], you are beyond amazing. you are incredibly smart but entirely unsnobby. you are kind, but never a martyr.

you surprise me. you challenge me.

isn't it time we fixed that?

we're going to take this very, very seriously.

i go there for the quiet.

we're still not sure what we're dealing with.

please don't take that tone with me.

everyone told us... and told us and told us... marriage is hard work.

technically we're supposed to fuck at the next stop.

books, sex, bourbon... life is good.

i knew you shouldn't have moved back here.

maybe i'll teach you a thing or two.

i'm a little drunk.

let's swear we will never be like them.

everything else is background noise.

why are you throwing that in my face again?

it's like you're daring me to be someone i don't want to be.

i'm not that person. i'm your wife.

suddenly i knew everything was about to get worse.

i'm asking you nicely.

everyone is projecting their shit onto me.

i feel like i could disappear.

i've been so worried about you.

i don't want to fight. i just want to be with you. that's all i want.

you fucking lied to my fucking face.

for valentine's day, i thought i'd buy a gun.

you have to fucking talk to me!

i'm not going to be scared anymore.

this man of mine may kill me.

men always use that as the defining compliment, don't they? she's a cool girl.

i will admit. for someone who likes to win, it's tempting to be the girl every guy wants.

we were happy pretending to be other people.

i need to show you something.

see we have the same taste in men.

you're reading it again? you know how it ends.

whatever the hell they found, we have to assume it's very bad.

everyone would hate me.

why are you so good to me?

my defense is the truth.

i've never seen it in my life.

i feel myself fading.

i just said what you wanted to hear.

take off your clothes.

i'm a fighter. i fought my way back to you.

kiss my cheek.

you're not at risk anymore.

you know you can sleep with me, right?

we should hold hands.

you called me a murderer.

i haven't touched you.

i've killed for you.

[heaven444child]

messages from your partner 💌

Pick an image

which pile drawn your attention choose it and please take what resonates with you and leave the rest ✨🍀🫶💜

AND Read these readings mindfully 👻and if you want a personal reading then DM me✨🍀

Pile 1

pile 1 Your future spouse is seeing me claiming his rights on you 👀 He is saying that you are only mine 🫣 “only mine” you just get ready, I am coming soon 🚘🏍️ whatever dreams we both have seen, we both will fulfill them soon 💕🍀 I know that right now we both are not near each other 🦋 we both haven't even met each other yet 🐣 but what can I do, whenever I think about you, I get scared 🌊 that you might get attracted to some other boy 🐻 I feel very sad just thinking about this 🥺 I can't sleep the whole night thinking about this 😨 so wherever you are, take care of yourself ✨🍀 and yes, remember that you are only mine 🫣👀 I know that I shouldn't talk to you like this 😅 but You can also understand that the one who has such a beautiful wife is definitely afraid of losing her, so take care of yourself my “beautiful wife” and I love you and miss you babe.💋👀

(I hope this reading resonates with you) ✨💕 Stay blessed 🫶❤️ AND thankyou for your support ✨🤝🍀😍

Pile 2

pile 2 Your future spouse wants to tell you that he has got a job or has been promoted ✨🍀 and is celebrating this achievement with his friends 🥂 but he wants to tell you that every happiness seems incomplete without you 👀 darling 👰🏻‍♀️ wherever you are, please come quickly ✈️ you know who I am 🧩 he is saying that I am such a puzzle piece that no one can complete me without you 🏵️ I feel that but this may resonate for some people that this person may be a famous person 🎺 or a model 🎬 and I feel that both of you may be each other's soulmate or twin and both of you don't want to date anyone, you both are just waiting for your last long partner 👰🏻‍♀️🤵 Your future spouse wants to tell you that I don't want to date anyone because I haven't met a girl like you yet 💕 I know that I have a lot of options but still I will wait for you ✨🫣 So come to me soon 😍👰🏻‍♀️ I love your hair and these eyes of yours 👀✨ I have never seen anyone's eyes like yours 🥺 I search for these eyes everywhere but I can't find them anywhere 😏 So you please come to me 😕 You know where I live 🏡 Please come soon 🌠 my love 💘 My heart pains a lot without you ❤️‍🔥 Please come fast baby or should I call you babe 💜hmm👀🫣

(I hope this reading resonates with you) ✨💕 Stay blessed 🫶❤️ AND thankyou for your support ✨🤝🍀😍

Pile 3

pile 3 Your future spouse wants to tell you that I know you are working very hard 👀 to make yourself stable 💼 there is nothing wrong in this but you should also take care of yourself 🙈 there is no need to be so harsh on yourself 🐥 I know you want to manifest lot of things 🌠 now you must be thinking how do I know all this 😁 but my innocent and sweet future wife, have you forgotten that I am your husband and you cannot hide anything from me 🥺 I know you are strong, intuitive but still why do you have to face rejections in your life 🥺 my dear wife god gives difficulties only to those who have the ability to overcome them 🛤️ so don't be disappointed 🫣 and now for this future husband of yours, show me the best smile in the world 😁 Are you smiling my wife🙈👰🏻‍♀️ If you are then I am happy that at least I could make you happy even while being far away 🥺✨

(I hope this reading resonates with you) ✨💕 Stay blessed 🫶❤️ AND thankyou for your support ✨🤝🍀😍

[batsythoughts]

Soulmate Au with Dick Grayson where the last words they specifically say to YOU are on your wrist. THIS IS HURT/NO COMFORT! There will be no happy ending, so suffer with my thoughts!

'I understand.'

Those are the words that have been on Dick Grayson's wrist since the moment he was born

His parents told him it was most likely going to be said at the end of a long and happy life with his soulmate

When he became Robin, he worried it would be a one time interaction with a citizen before he wasn't able to save them

But when he became Nightwing, he stopped worrying about it and began to live his life to be grateful for all his interactions

He had always asked what everyone's words from their soulmate was when he got close enough to them, having deep conversations with each of them

He was always interested by Alfred's the most. He had two different sets of words on his wrist when everyone else only had one

"It appeared after they had died. A small reminder of the time we had together."

Dick had found that amazing, one would have the reminder of who their person was even after death separated them

At some point after Dick leaving to become Nightwing, Bruce had taken in you in

You had been raised by the Joker after he kidnapped you at the age of 9 to take over as the worst villain of Gotham when he ultimately died

Bruce explained that you had openly denounced the Joker and his views before switching sides

With no other place to go, Bruce had taken you in when you had no place of your own

Even after time had passed, Dick noticed that you didn't spend much time around the other. He never saw you leave the manor except for going on patrol

The most peculiar thing was you had a bandage that went around your wrist where your words were supposed to be

Dick tried starting conversations to get to know you, but you always found a way to get out of them

The most personal thing about you that he could seem to get was these little notebooks you would randomly write in

When he asked about them, you shot him down with a glare

"It's personal, wonder bitch. So back off."

Dick didn't understand why Bruce was still putting up with the same attitude for so long without snapping

He was always told to just give you some space and you would come around when you were finally ready to

Dick never took a liking to how you handled the vigilante business. He thought you weren't focused on keeping the citizens safe and only wanted to make the bad guys hurt more than anything

You always told him to get off your back when he pushed on how you should be more cautious about how to do the job

He started to become frustrated by being around you with how much you pushed back with every word he said, but he still tried to be pleasant

More time had passed and you still didn't really warm up to any of them, but you weren't as hostile with your words

You mostly stuck to your room so you didn't actually have much difference in the previous interactions with everyone

Dick still couldn't shake off the frustration though, no matter how hard he tried to be understanding and polite to you

One day when you had told Dick to 'fuck off to the sewers' after he had accidentally walked into and spilled your drink on your shirt, he was very tempted to yell out as you walked away

Jason quickly stepped in and stopped Dick before he could actually blow up over the attitude you kept displaying

"Dick, you don't entirely understand-"

"That shouldn't matter! They keep acting like-!"

"Like The Joker has raised them to think in a way of 'be useful or you will be killed'. We don't know what he could have done for all those years. We don't even know what life was like before Joker forced his way into the picture. Not everyone was born into loving families. Remember that."

Dick had tried to take Jason's words into consideration as the next few months progressed

You never expressed any form of appreciation to what Bruce or Alfred seemed to do for you. You would mostly just spend time alone around the manor, occasionally sitting around with Jason

The only time Dick seemed to see you express any emotion was when you would randomly write in the notebooks before putting it back in your pocket

Frustration and agitation kept getting bottled up the longer Dick watched the whole situation continue on

It was getting close to a big bust on some plan a couple of the villains had joined together for temporarily to make it successful

It was the end of patrol as Bruce was explaining what everyone's job was going to be for the following night so they could prepare themselves throughout the day

Bruce had mentioned that Damian would be working alongside Jason, and you had mumbled some comment about that

Dick had finally had enough as he looked over and asked what the problem was

You rolled your eyes before saying that Damian wouldn't be able to handle himself with the combined strength everyone would be against with everyone stretched so thin

Dick pushed as he argued that Damian had taken care of himself in worst situations and you should mind what you were claiming about them

Bruce tried to to get the both of you to calm down, but Dick kept pushing as he argued you didn't really know them or what they could do

You clenched your fist while arguing that the precious boy wonder didn't even have a full understanding of what the criminals of the city were actually capable of

Dick finally felt his anger reach the boiling point as be finally began yelling at you

It soon became a screaming match as Jason held Dick back while Bruce got between the two of you as Tim guided Damian out of the area

The anger kept getting worse for Dick as he was finally letting out all the pent up feelings from the past few months of watching you push back against everyone

"This way of thinking is going to be what gets you killed! And when it finally catches up to you, I'm not going to feel sorry for you dying!"

You suddenly become very silent as you just stare at Dick with a deep glare as Bruce raises his voice to make Dick calm himself down

"I understand." The venom is in your voice as you turn around and march out of the Batcave

Dick doesn't truly register the words as he and Bruce start to get in it about how Dick went too far and would need to apologize

Dick huffs as he pulled out of Jason's hold before walking off to go to his room to get some rest

As he walked through the manor, Dick saw Tim and Damian both waiting for him with confused look as they asked what happened

Dick assured them it was nothing they needed to worry themselves with before going to his room

Dick was surprised that you hadn't tried making the day hard for him in retaliation of what was all said

Your door had never opened an inch though the whole day after the fight had happened

The day was eerily calm in a way that made Dick slowly begin to regret what was said. He knew Bruce was right about apologizing, but decided the anger might make you focus on getting the job done and would talk to you tomorrow when patrol was done

Night had come and Bruce had changed the groups so Dick was with Tim while you paired up with Jason

Damian had said he didn't want to be on the mission due to an important test the next day he needed to pass, though everyone was certain it was a lie

No one argued as they got ready for the fight that was going to come before going to the streets of Gotham

The bust had gone down at midnight as everyone had fought to take down as many people they could with the minimum getting away

Everyone had a few scratches as they all helped get the criminals in the transport

Bruce was talking with Gordon when Dick noticed you standing a ways off from everyone else looking confused for some reason

He began to slowly walk over with the intention of apologizing with all the anger and adrenaline slowly fading

The ground shook as Killer Croc suddenly appeared while getting between you and everyone else

None of them could stop it as you got hit and went flying in the air

Dick went to try and subdue Killer Croc before getting hit back into the wall

He felt a pain in his wrist as his arm hit the bricks as the sound of shattered glass sounded from the building you got thrown through

Bruce and Jason were able to get Killer Croc subdued as Tim went over to Dick to make sure he was fine

Dick quickly brushed off the pain in his arm, saying he was fine as he went to the building with the shattered window to go and check on you

He saw you at the far end of the room with your back to him. Dick called out asking if you were okay as he cautiously stepped inside

He thought you were in a daze when you didn't respond. Being mindful of the glass, Dick kneeled down as he placed his hand on your shoulder

"I know you're mad, but this isn't fun-"

The words escape him as he gently pulled you onto your back. Your head still facing the direction you had landed in as the rest only turned slightly with the effort

Dick could only stare for a minute before his hand went to hold the cheek pressed against the floor

The small cracking of your neck that came when he turned your head made Dick's stomach churn

Small pieces of glass stuck out of your skin as your unfocused eyes stared at the ceiling now. A trail of blood flowing down your cheek from your barely parted lips

Dick had to stop himself from throwing up as he got back up and walked into the street

Dick held Tim back when he tried to go in and check on you. When asked what was wrong, Dick could only shake his head as Bruce came up to them

Dick could barely register anything as he watched them put the gurney you were on in the back of the medical examiner's van

They all got promised your body would be treated with the upmost respect until the time for your burial

The journey back was quiet as everyone processed what happened to you when they had thought it was safe

Dick had went to go take a shower to wash of the pressure he felt in his hands from where he had touched your body

He noticed the blood on his wrist when he had removed his shirt in the bathroom

He rinsed a rag with cold water before wiping the blood away to find a sight that made his blood run cold

'This way of thinking is going to be what gets you killed! And when it finally catches up to you, I'm not going to feel sorry for you dying!'

'I understand.'

The words looked like they had just been carved into his wrist with how fresh the new words appeared and the small bit of blood still seeping out of his skin

His thoughts went back to the fight when he had hit the wall. His arm didn't hurt because he was smacked into the wall

It had hurt because that was the moment you had died

Dick couldn't think of who he could confide in with this sudden news. Especially because he had been so cruel to you when you last spoke to one another

How could he have been so cruel to not even think of apologizing before the mission? The last think he said was how he wouldn't care if you died

But you had always known it would be that cruel. You were born with those careless shouts as a mockery on your skin since the first cry

While he grew up with thoughts of comfort over what he might have with his soulmate, you never got that when you saw those words

You had grown up in a world of torture by the hands of one of the cruelest men in all of Gotham, and his words couldn't even give you a sense of comfort over the torturous treatment you went through

It had been a couple of weeks since you had tragically passed away, and Dick found himself in the doorway of your room

He didn't know why he was even here, what he would even try to find, but he was there

The room didn't have too many decorations around as he went in, as if you never tried to find your own style

The clothes in the drawers and closet were like taunts as he touched the fabric (most were soft, so he figured that was a texture you liked)

A candle in your nightstand drawer had never been lit, but the cap had been repeatedly removed (he found that it smelled like flowers during a rainstorm. You must have liked that kind of smell)

There were a few books on the small desk you had with a handful of notes and letters scattered around (it looked like you had been trying to catch up on the education you missed out on)

After some time of looking around, Dick sat at the foot of the bed. He quickly realized something was wrong when his weight pressed on the mattress

He untucked the covers (why would you have been so neat with making the bed?) to find that a small section of the padding had been cut out from a small hole in the bottom

Dick reached his hand in to find the hiding spot of all the small notebook you had written in

He slowly flipped through the pages as he read the neat handwriting that you had

Alfred made a different kind of cookie today. I really like this kind

Jason and I watched a documentary on dinosaurs. The raptors seem the coolest

I glanced at the moon during patrol last night. It was the cresent phase. I think I like that one most

The more Dick looked through them, the more he realized you were distant because you were realizing things about yourself. You were figuring out years of information in such short time, you were probably getting overwhelmed with all this information you were learning

His eyes stop on one small bit you had written, his eyes softening as he kept rereading the words

Dick randomly started laughing today. It sounds nice

You had thought his laugh was nice? Dick didn't even think you paid attention to anything he had done while living in the manor

He kept flipping through each different notebook before he stop on the latest one you had written in

His fingers flipped through to the last pages, expecting to see words of anger and hatred on the paper before him

Dick's my soulmate. I felt my wrist burn when he yelled at me and I just knew without having to seeing what I said appear on my skin. I know I'm going to die tonight.

Dick swallowed the lump in his throat as he thought of what could have went through your mind the exact moment it happened. His fingers carefully flipping to the next page as he kept reading

I don't know what's going to happen with the mission tonight, but I know it's going to be my last. Who knows? Maybe I'll be careless just like Dick always said.

Tears began to form in his eyes as he remembered the confused look on your face after the fight had ended. You had died when everyone was supposed to have been okay and you were confused you were alive after the main fight

I hope to whatever type of god that is out there at Dick never finds these before someone else. I know he had every right to say those things, but I don't want him knowing that I knew I was going to be killed. I was an ass and was given nothing but patience from everyone else. I know he will figure out what we were when I die, but I hope that he doesn't blame himself for what will happen. He had no way of knowing just how much it had hurt to actually hear those words. I hope he lives his life like he always had before.

The tears spilled own his cheeks as he closed the book and held it to his head

Everything after that was just blank pages. You still had over half the pages to keep writing in

Dick felt broken as he took in the feeling you had written out clear as day

He had caused so much hurt in your life before even knowing you

His hands clenched around the cover as he allowed himself to cry. In all the realities of how the end could have happened, this was the worst

The was never a mutual understanding, no form of chemistry like he hoped, not even a split second meeting

All that was there was frustration and hurtful words that could never be taken back

But what hurt the most was that your words to him had never been more truthful compared to anything said to him. You didn't blame him for the anger or even lash back out at him

Because deep down, that was the person that you truly were despite everything

You understood

[natti-ice]

Eddie Munson Blurb.

Pairing: Eddie Munson x gn!reader

Warnings: just a few swears

Based on the line “This is not what I meant when I told you to fall for me”

Author’s Note: this is a reupload, I wrote this a while ago!

Reblogs & comments are greatly appreciated<3

You ran through the woods as fast as you could trying so hard not to get caught. You and Eddie were skipping 4th period and failed to hear the teacher walking down the hall, when you saw her you ran.

You and Eddie always seemed to get in trouble together, ever since you met you can't even count how many times you found yourself in the principals office.

Today you didn't want to get caught, your parents had been on your case about Eddie being a "bad influence" on you but you knew it wasn't true.

You and Eddie had been close since middle school, you did everything together. He was really the only person you could trust with your life.

Finally when you got far enough into the woods you stopped making sure you were in the clear.

"Man who knew English teachers could run so fast?" Eddie asked as he caught his breath

"Right" you agreed "you think he knew it was us?"

"Probably, I mean who else has this beautiful haircut" he said flipping his hair dramatically

"We're totally screwed" you laughed

"Yeah, but at least we can spend the afternoon together" Eddie said in a giddy voice

"Great" you faked annoyance

"C'mon there's a picnic table in here somewhere" he takes the lead but catch up quickly

The two of you walk in silence while in search of this picnic table, you two had such a strong bond that silence was never awkward. The only thing that could be heard was the leaves crunching under your shoes.

You walked in silence for a few more minutes before Eddie spoke up.

"So... did you think about what I told you?" He asked, a small amount of nervousness in his voice

"I have, honestly I don't know what to think, Eddie"

A week ago you two were hanging out at his house listening to music and just talking as usual. You were ranting about some upcoming assignment that you had to do and all the reasons you shouldn't do it.

Eddie was tentatively listening to you talk when he blurted it out

"You and I should fall in love" he immediately regretted saying it but it was too late

"What?" You didn't know whether or not he was joking

He wanted to play it off as a joke but he knew he had been holding this in for way too long.

"I mean, you and I are obviously perfect for each other. I honestly don't know how we're not together already" he nervously rubbed the back of his neck

This led to a long weird conversation about things you've never talked about, your real feelings for each other.

You always did have a special love for Eddie, he always knew what was wrong without you saying a word.

You told him that you need time to think about this, there were so many factors to this.

You hadn't discussed again till today.

"I honestly don't know why you're so scared, you know you love me" he teased

"Shut up" you playfully pushed him

"No" he pushed you back

You continued this back and forth, you two were always play fighting with each other. This time things got a little too rough.

He had got a way from you for a second and when you went to catch up, you tripped and fell over a fallen tree branch

"Shit" you said when you hit the ground

"Oh shit, Y/N are you okay?" Eddie asks as he ran over to help you up

"Yeah I'm fine, help me up please"

"This is not what I meant when I told you to fall for me" Eddie laughed as he pulled you up

"You're the worst" you joked

"You still love me though" he smirked putting his arm around you as you walked deeper into the woods.

One day you'll be able to tell him that you want to be together, but today is not that day.

[thatweirdgirlyousatnexttoinmath]

It's been almost five years since The Haunting of Hill House came out on Netflix. And it has irrevocably changed my life.

The depiction of grief. Addiction. Depression. Loss. Identity. Family relationships. Family dynamics. Healing your inner child. Having to deal with your inner child. The fact that in some ways you never really grow up, you're that exact same person inside that is dealing with all these increasingly complex and difficult things, trying hard to not let the child in you react because you know it shouldn't.

Thinking about Theo taking her gloves off. Nell going to therapy, putting in work, and still having her demons chase her around all the way to the end. Shirley's entire life and career being based around wanting to help people in their darkest moments the way someone helped her (though isn't that what they all do, too? Especially Theo). Luke as the youngest, being left behind or not believed and eventually having to find ways to self-soothe, which as an adult are not as health-friendly as other options out there. But it's what he had to do to cope. And Steve... everyone knows a Steve.

I know people have commented before about the five Crain siblings and the five stages of grief. But they also each experience those themselves, and in some ways the five of them simply display how much grief and living can do to a person. Juxtaposing the entire modern part of the series with them as children reminded me how much the things I do now can also be drawn back to little Me. The decisions I make, what scares me, who I reach out to. What haunts me? I may not have a big scary terrifying Death House in my past, but I mean... we've all got our version of a big scary terrifying Death House.

The tragedy of Hill House, the complicated love that's shown, the connections and relationships we have with our families, the world, ourselves. I cannot, will not, should not, would not forget it.

[allfattenedup]

Hey! I love your content so much!! I'm a skinny guy but I've always had the desire to be fat since I was little. Right now, I'm dating a feeder who wants to make me as fat as possible when I'm ready for it. Are you happier now that you're a fat guy? Don't you look at other fit guys on the street and feel regret for ruining your skinny body? For example, if I were fat and passed by a group of attractive, fit guys, I think I would get horny for not being like that anymore and would eat a lot of food after...maybe if I became fat and sloppy, I could be happier.

This is honestly a complex question for me to answer, and I've made an attempt a few times before to answer similar questions but I'll try again. It's important to me that I don't just blast out a blanket stance of 'yes you should get fat like I did!'. Spend enough time in the gaining community and intentionally putting on hundreds of pounds of fat starts to feel real normalized. And I'm not saying you shouldn't do that, but here's a few things I would say: My own personal kink revolves around fat and embarrassment. The worse I continue to look, the more mortified I am by my changing body, the more desperately I need it. So a lot of the time, yes I do regret doing this to myself, but that's where so much of the pleasure comes from. So it's hard for me to answer if I'm happier now or if I regret it. Every answer is both yes and no. And if your kink doesn't have the same component of shame then I'd say definitely don't take advice from me lol.

I'd also say never get fat for a feeder. I'm glad to hear you say they're waiting until you're ready, but don't let any pressure influence your decision of if/when that is. Make sure you know you'd want to get fat with them or without them. Again, we get a little blind to it in the gaining community but getting really fat, especially if you start off skinny, is a big deal. It changes a lot about the way you live your life, and it very well may be permanent. Yeah, you might go into it thinking 'if I don't like it I can just lose the weight', but don't assume that's true. It probably won't be. If you have a fat kink, gaining weight for the first time can be like a shark getting a taste of blood. It can unlock something which means you can never go back (speaking from experience). If you decide to gain weight, go into it knowing that you may never be able to lose it, and that you'd be alright if that happens. Also know that putting on weight can be incredibly addictive and you may go into it planning to gain ten pounds and wind up gaining a hundred or more. This kink is all-encompassing. You can't take it off when you're done, it affects every part of your lifestyle, people see it, and for all those reasons it can so easily become a rabbit hole. I actually love that about it, but you need to be real with yourself about whether that's something you're comfortable with. Everyone's experiences are gonna be different but what I'd boil it down to is this: If you're looking for an intense 24/7 experience that may get out of control and have no exit, then consider starting to put on weight. If you want to carefully explore a kink in a measured way and have certainty over the outcomes, then gaining isn't going to be a good idea.

[nerdthatsiriuslylovesteaxx]

He's dead

"Hello, is this Sally Jackson?"

"Yeah, one of Percy's friends I'm guessing? I'll put him on the phone for you."

"Thank you."

"Hey...?"

"Hi.. it's Leo."

"WHERE THE FVCK HAVE YOU BEEN?!?"

"Language Percy! I don't want Estelle picking that up."

"Sorry mom."

"I forgot you didn't know I was back, I need to tell you something."

"Is everything okay? Is there another prophecy? I swear to the gods if there's anoth-"

"Are Annabeth and Grover with you?"

"No, Leo what's happening? You sound scared." Percy heard sobbing through the phone, "Take a deep breath, what's going on?"

"J-Jason... he- he.. fvcking sh!t- Jason's dead."

"No. No he can't be- but how? Why?!" Percy let out a scream of pain, breaking down into tears. "W- when..?"

"Two weeks ago, I told Piper I would tell you but I haven't been able to do it until now."

"Is she with you?"

"No, I'm alone."

"Where are you?"

"On some street in the middle of somewhere with no money, where I've been for two weeks."

"Are you in New York?"

"Yeah, somewhere in Manhattan."

"Describe it, you're coming over."

"Why...?"

"Just come, I don't think you should be alone right now." As he gave directions everything sunk in, Jason was dead. He would never fvcking see him again, never be able to laugh with him again, everything would never be the same again. He'd lost his bro, the one who'd always do dumb sh!t with him, the one he could talk to about anything but they'd always still be chill. He was gone.

Percy open the door with bloodshot eyes, tears still rolling down his face. Leo was a wreck, he looked as if he hadn't slept in a week, or eaten for that fact. He hugged him, they both half collapsed on each other, holding so tightly it was as if the other was about to disappear.

"Percy, is everything alright? Who's here? I heard crying what happ-" As the hug broke Sally caught sight of the small boy,

"Mom meet Leo, son of Hephaestus."

"Hello, you can stay here as long as you need I know demigod lives are hard. Go take a shower, I'll get you something to eat, if you want we can talk about what happened."

"Thank-k you." Leo whispered, unable to keep his voice from breaking.

"Percy, what's going on?"

"You remember how I told you about camp Jupiter... and..Jason?"

"Of course I do."

"He- he died.. I don't know what happened, I don't know why he even got involved but he's gone." Percy broke down, his mother's arms wrapped around him. "I don't know how I'm going to tell Annie."

"One step at a time, I know things are hard."

"HE WAS BARELY SIXTEEN!"

"I'm so sorry, you can't bring him back."

"But I could."

"Perc-"

"The gods ask for so much but they can't bring back a single person who died fighting for them!?"

"You know they're cruel,"

"I can't do this anymore."

"Leo, you feeling okay? Physically."

"I'm fine."

"Do you want to talk about Jason? I know he was your best friend, he was one of mine."

"He- he was my boyfriend, surprise." He didn't give him any time to answer before continuing but he could see the sympathy is his eyes. "Percy you've lost so many people, how do you keep going on? How do you carry on every day knowing you'll never see them again?"

"It's not easy, especially at the beginning. Somedays it's hard to go through wit somedays your fine, somedays you wish you could join them. They say time heals, that's not exactly true, but people help you heal, if people want to help, let them, even if you don't think it will. I know you want to run away, I know everything seems pointless but right now the worst thing is to be alone."

"I've lost my mum, I've lost Jason, who's next? I have no family that wants me, and my whole life's being controlled by the gods who don't give a shit about us."

"I probably shouldn't be saying this but... do you want a smoke? That's what I've been doing for the past few days, I know it's unhealthy but it... helps."

"Yeah, thanks Perce."

"Can I... show you something?"

"Yeah, you alright?" A tear fell from his eye,

"Ever since Jason- I just couldn't take it anymore... I... I need... some h-help, please." Leo rolled up his sleeves, his arms covered in burns; his breath was unsteady almost scared. "S-sorry." Percy pulled him into a hug,

"You don't have to apologise, I know it seems pointless to go on, I have scars to." Percy turned his forearm revealing pale scars all over his arms.

"But-t you're... you're... THE Percy Jackson, you've been on so many quests and you're so strong an-"

"That's what people thought, I still haven't forgiven myself for Bianca's death, or Beckendorf's or Luke's. But at some point you have to keep going on, you can't spend the rest of eternity grieving. Instead live for them, live to show their sacrifice made a difference because at the end of the day... you can't bring them back."

"How do you find the courage to try."

"You don't just wake up one day and suddenly be okay, it takes time, maybe your life won't be the exact same, but you have to keep living. I can't pretend I've gotten over Jason's death, I've been high a lot in these past few weeks... but I know at some point I'll have to move on."

"Thank you for everything Percy."

______________________

I wrote this a while ago and I thought I would post it because I'm taking forever to post the next Helpless part xx

[villainofmyownstory]

Day Zero chapter 3

masterlist | taglist | AO3

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pairing: Simon “Ghost” Riley x plus size fem!reader

summary: Meeting another person after 2 years of loneliness was not supposed to be like this.

tags: AFAB reader, plus size reader, dog german shepherd, alcohol, weapon

author's note: I don't know... I'm not satisfied with this chapter. I think I reread it and edited it too many times. From this chapter, what happens after days 730... will be in the present tense because, for example, in the next chapter we will return to day 64, of course it is described in the past tense, so it just seems logical to me. I'm not changing chapters 1 and 2, I hope you don't mind. I think I've been spending too much time on this story and I'm starting to think too much.

Thank you all for your positive feedback. You don't even know how much this means to me <3

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Chapter 3: The one when you met

Day 730

Ghost

There are plenty of things in this damn city that he will never run out of. When Ghost was left almost alone, with Riley by his side of course. Already in the first days, the man noticed that there were things here that would stay with him for the rest of his life. Even when he's gone, many of these items will remain in his warehouses for years to come.

Ironically, what he needed the least, alcohol and clothes.

He was never a demanding person. He didn't expect much from life. He was a rather simple man. A roof over his head, a supply of food, a place to train and peace of mind. So when he realized that this city was only his, he was very happy and satisfied. Not that he hated people. It was just better when they were as far away from him as possible. Somewhere in the background, preferably far from his sight and hearing. For many years he felt irritated by the closeness of another person. Of course, there were a few people who managed to get under the lieutenant's shell and understand his moods, behavior and motivations. However, there were few of them. That's right, they were.

In the army, he worked with several people. For many years he had no one outside of work. No family. No other relatives or friends. So when the captain sent him to a well-deserved rest after another long and hard mission. Ghost couldn't find his place for the first few days. He was simply irritated by mundane, everyday things. Going to the bank, store, clinic or even the gym. Too many people. Everywhere. Constant conversations, gesticulations. Noise.

Too much.

So he was grateful for the development of technology. When he could finally sit in front of his computer in the comfort of his own home and get things done in the office or via an app on his phone. The less contact with other people, the better. That's what he thought.

Now that Riley is missing, the soldier wonders about the meaning of his life. If the world had in some way done him a favor by removing other people from his surroundings, why did he have to take away the one being that made him feel alive. That his life has any meaning.

He wasn't a monster. Of course not. It wasn't like he was hoping for some kind of annihilation of humanity, that he would be the sole survivor on earth and be able to do whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted. He just wanted some peace, on his terms.

However, he felt no sadness or regret as he patrolled the empty streets or checked another empty building.

He had lost too many loved ones in the past to grieve over nameless strangers now.

He shouldn't drink. He knows it perfectly well. Two years. 730 days of sobriety. He had promised himself that big day, he had promised Riley, that he would never feel that burning liquid in his throat again. So that he won't become such a madman when alcohol starts circulating in his system again.

So that he does not become his own father. He couldn't even think of this person as someone close to him. Disgusting creature. Reflective sadists. Sperm donor and that's it. Which should never have existed. He buried that monster a long time ago. Just like Ghost buried his own self.

Apart from losing Riley, this was the man's greatest fear in his life. That by drinking alcohol and getting closer to people, he would show them who he really was. That he was just like his twisted psychopathic father.

And he didn't want to be like that, he couldn't. He preferred to hide behind the façade of a domineering, boorish lieutenant in a mask. Pushing others away from himself. The further, the better. He didn't want to hurt anyone.

He preferred to be alone.

He wore a mask almost all the time. He hid his face from the world. He never showed his true self. He hid his identity and the man he was behind a piece of cloth.

Now that it was just him and the dog, he didn't have to cover his face.... And although sometimes in the morning he was looking for a black mask on the nightstand out of habit, he got used to the pleasant feeling of air on the skin of his face. If necessary, he placed a few masks here and there. Just in case someone, somehow showed up in his town.

Now, standing in the pantry with his heart pounding, he unhesitatingly reaches to the back of one of the shelves where he hid the alcohol.

He purposely hid the bottles in the back of the cabinets behind other things so that every time he looks here, he won't notice the colorful bottles at all.

So that nothing would tempt him.

Pulling out a bottle of bourbon, he moved the cans of food and didn't hesitate. He feels that if he does not immediately drown his sadness in a glass of amber drink, he will not be able to bear the pain of another loss. Looking at the label, he smiles to himself. Pappy Van Winkle's Family Reserve 15 years 107 proof*. Searching the homes of these rich people had some benefits. Rich motherfuckers who didn't know what to do with their money bought everything expensive. The more zeros in a line, the better.

When he returns to the office, he doesn't even look at the surveillance system.

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Day 731

Ghost

He lost himself. He drank himself unconscious. It was long after sunrise, it is even after noon.

���Dammit”

Ghost mutters, slowly getting up from the chair he fell asleep in a few hours earlier.

He should have been looking for the dog since dawn. He shouldn't give up. He shouldn't lose hope. However, when he lost sight of the dog, something inside him broke. It reminded him too much of the previous two times he'd lost loved ones. He lost control again. Something thwarted his plan. He lost his stability. Monotony, life according to plan.

Barely walking, tripping over his feet and knocking several things off the dresser, he reaches the bathroom. He doesn't care about anything anymore. Everything is the same to him.

When rinsing her face with water, he does not look at her reflection in the mirror. He can't look into his own eyes. Again, he directs his steps to the pantry. To get another bottle. Ghost has already lost count, another bottle to forget.

It didn't matter. It's just that nothing makes sense anymore.

Wobbling on his feet, he returns to the small room, sits in the chair at the desk and takes a few sips straight from the bottle. Regret - he finally feels it. Another sip. Drown, drown. And he only hopes that alcohol will soothe this feeling, that it will help him fill the void he feels after Riley's disappearance.

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Day 732

Ghost

Another day of drinking. Once he touched his lips and felt a sharp substance with his tongue. And he fell into a trance again. It was hard to break out of it. Constant drinking. Vicious circle. Another bottle and another. Let it burn, sting, hurt. Just to feel something. Physically.

Finally, as if something was calling to him, he struggled to get up from the chair and dragged the body to the kitchen, he decided he had to do something. Anything other than just sitting here. With a lot of thinking, wondering, blaming. He's not a victim, he's not. He has to look for the dog. Keep going. He can't show weakness. Even before himself. He felt a little embarrassed. That he gave up again. Too quick and easy. He looks at the mess he probably left behind the night he drunkenly tried to make himself something to eat.

“I'll deal with it later,” he muttered, heading towards the dressing room. Trying to keep his balance, he stops in the hall, next to the small surveillance room, and freezes.

One screen was active. Detected movement.

"Fuck..." Ghost is angry with himself, pissed off. That he hadn't thought about sitting in front of the screens and looking at the city earlier. But now wasn't the time to blame himself or dwell on the situation. He must finally take action.

Looking at the screen, the soldier can't believe his eyes. He not only sees his beloved dog on the screen. Who slowly walks through one of the streets. In the live footage, he sees a figure walking.

Person.

Alive.

Without thinking, he quickly runs to his room to change and grab his gun. It's definitely an ambush. No one in their right mind would wander in the middle of the street in a strange city in the middle of the day. With a dog by my side.

Bait.

Surely the rest of the group was waiting somewhere outside the city or on the roofs of buildings. He has to do something, he has to get Riley back. Adrenaline stimulates his body, his thoughts flow in one direction. Bring Riley home. Punish those who had the nerve to steal his dog.

He had never driven under the influence of alcohol, but he had no choice. It would take him too long to walk downtown, and he couldn't let the intruders get any closer to his house. Or worse, they'll leave town with his dog.

Besides, the only danger in driving a car in such an environment was himself. And he doesn't care about his own health and life.

Before leaving, he checks the camera again, the figure slowly approaches the City Hall building.

"Easy target" Ghost smiled, plenty of space to capture. He loads his gun and runs out the door as fast as he can, his fingers firmly wrapped around the sniper rifle.

While driving through the city streets, he tries to focus on driving straight, but at the same time he is constantly looking around for a potential threat. It definitely has to be a larger group, Ghost is expecting several people. To his surprise, however, he doesn't notice anything unusual.

Finally he stops and he leaves the car a few blocks from the town hall and starts walking towards it. He hopes he's not late. That the intruder and his dog hadn't moved too far.

There were rather low buildings near the town hall, so a block earlier he turned left and headed to one of the skyscrapers, from where he would have a better view. A better place to attack. However, there is no time to enter it. He freezes in place because he hears Riley barking and then a human voice. A woman's voice.

“Shit…”

He muttered through his teeth. Of course he might have expected a group of travellers to send a woman or a child out to scout. To stir up sympathy only to have someone lose their guard.

He has to play it differently. He looks around the street and decides to enter the restaurant on the corner, remembering that there is a passage inside and he will have a perfect view of the street where the town hall was located. As he walks through the abandoned building, he mentally curses himself for drinking so much. Adrenaline helps him focus and stay upright, but he fears what will happen if he ends up having to aim his gun. When he reaches the storefront overlooking City Hall, he freezes.

Woman pets Riley tenderly and happily says something to him.

Dog seemed to sense his presence because it sits on its hind legs and looks towards the building where the soldier is.

Without thinking, Ghost raises his gun and takes aim.

He must get the dog back and show the strange travelers that they cannot take what is his. That he is in charge.

Fractions of seconds. Ghost pulls the trigger, shoots. The woman falls forward. Without even realizing the threat standing in the dark building in front of her. She falls, but not from the shot. There is not a single drop of blood. No screaming in pain.

It was Riley who pulled her over. He saved her. He protected her from the bullet.

Assessing the situation, Ghost quickly leaves the building and continues to aim his gun at the lying woman.

He didn't expect this development, of all the possible scenarios that went through his head. He did not foresee, despite years spent on the battlefield, reading thousands of training materials.

That the dog would be against him and protect some random stranger.

💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀

Day 732

You

Everything happens so fast that it is impossible to rationally connect the facts: the shot, Riley pulling the leash and the fall. So much, in a split second.

But the only thing that is echoing in your head right now is whether or not Riley is okay.

So you don't notice the massive, tall and masked figure slowly walking towards you... The first thing you should do is check the condition of the dog. Riley. That's all that matters to you. You sit on your lap and look closely at the dog.

“Riley, oh boy, are you okay? Show yourself".

You check the dog, and after making sure that the dog is alright, you find no trace of blood or the slightest injury. Relieved, you slowly get back to your feet. Straightening up, you finally see with horror the figure standing in front of you who wanted to shoot you a moment ago. And now it's starting to dawn on you what just happened. What is really happening and that you are in great danger. You open your mouth and then close it, repeating this action several times, you want to say something. But what can you say at a time like this? No words come out of your throat.

“Stand where you're standing and let go of the leash”

The masked man growls lowly, slowly turning his gaze from you to the dog, slowly stepping closer to the two of you.

“Raise your hands above your head and don't move.”

You shiver with fear, chills running through your body. The sound of a man's low voice, any human voice other than yours after many months. Weird feeling. Irrational.

After a while, you finally recover and slowly raise your hands.

“Let go of damn leash!”

You look at the man with fear. It occurs to you that this must be the same man who left the letter on the tower. Anyone else could be masked and not call themselves Ghost. He was tall, well built. He was dressed in tactical gear, a bulletproof vest and... a mask. This was no ordinary balaclava. A skull was attached to the material. The front part, with a fragment of the upper jaw, eye sockets, and forehead. It must have been a human skull. You involuntarily shiver harder in fear, trying to take a deeper breath. This was not what meeting another human being was supposed to be like. This wasn't what you expected.

Ghost will raise his gun higher, still pointing it at you.

“Riley. Heel.., come here"

He calls to the dog, breaking the terrible, prolonged silence. The confused dog stands up and takes one step towards the soldier. But he doesn't go any further.

“This… this dog is mine”

The words finally fall out of you, you muster up your courage and whisper, keeping your eyes on the man

“Don't take him away from me. Not again.”

“Your dog? I think you've got something wrong"

Ghost growled, clearly annoyed. His arm muscles visibly tense, this entire exchange makes no sense to him. Waste of time.

"Y-yes, he's mine..."

You start to say, trying to control the emotions you're feeling. You slowly lower your hands.

“I can prove it. Just let me”

Regardless of the fact that the gun is constantly pointed at you, you have to prove it to him and keep the dog with you. No matter what, at any cost. You want to reach into your backpack and take out that old worn-out photo that you still carry with you to this day. One of the few souvenirs you have kept from your past life.

“Hands up, damn it, I'm not playing any games. Give the dog back and leave town."

Ghost shouts, you can see that he is becoming more and more irritated by your behavior.

“You can take everything you find and leave my city. Riley stays where he belongs - with me."

You shake your head negatively, swallowing the lump in your throat, trying not to cry

“No, the dog is mine.”

“Oh, damn it, I don't have all day for unnecessary discussions. Tell your people not to come back here again. Or at least have the courage to show up in person and not send a woman. Pathetic".

As he says this, he finally lowers the gun and pats his thigh, trying to get the dog's attention.

“Riley! Heel!”

Thinking little, or probably not thinking at all, you reached into your backpack and opened the zipper, looking for a photo.

“Dammit, kid, you don't understand what I'm telling you. Leave the dog and fuck off."

You don't care anymore, if you were to leave this city without your dog, you'd rather die here. Now, at this moment.

You take out the photo, which you have carefully secured to prevent any further damage. You raise your hand, holding the photo, and try to stop it from shaking. Despite your emotions, you calmly say to masked man

"Look, this is my dog. Mine. Look, Riley's missing a piece of his ear. You see? Dog in this photo doesn't have it either…”

The man hesitates for a moment, but decides to approach and take a closer look at the photo in your hand.

“That doesn't prove anything,” Ghost starts to say, but you interrupt him

"What do you mean? How many dogs of this breed have such a wound? How many have a black collar with an engraving on the back, with the exact name and phone number?"

As you say this, you state what is written on his collar

“You could take this off him and read it.”

"How do I know there's something written inside?"

There was silence. Another long, tiring one. You looked at each other without saying a word.

The man was taller than you and towered over you, his broad frame creating a shadow above you, his dark eyes narrowing as he looked at you. As if he was trying to read what was going on in your head.

You feel a little dizzy. The whole situation was so strange, so surreal. This wasn't what my first conversation with another human being in two years was supposed to look like. This wasn't how the first meeting was supposed to go. At least it wasn't what you imagined.

There's something wrong with the man across from you. Weird, dark, terrifying. His attitude irritates you and something inside you finally breaks. You explode.

“Ghost, listen…”

You started, raising your voice slightly

“I don't know what your intentions are, why you're so defensive about this town and this dog. But I came here alone! ALONE! I haven't seen a living person in two fucking years. I don't understand what kind of travelers you're talking about and why you don't want to admit that this dog is mine. But... but I don't want to leave, not after finding Riley."

When you say this, you look at the dog that sat between you and the soldier. Riley lay down, as if he was also tired of all the strange interaction between two people he knew, through which he was confused.

Ghost remains silent, never taking his eyes off you, as if wondering what to do. Pros and cons.

Finally, the sound of the watch interrupts his persistent gaze, and the man sighs loudly, as if resigned, and says

“Let's just say… I believe you. Temporarily”

The man secures the gun and hangs it on his shoulder. Seeing this, an involuntary smile appears on your face.

“Come on, kid, it's late. We have to go” 

Ghost points to the sun, which is slowly starting to hide behind the buildings

"We'll finish this conversation somewhere else. Come on, both of you."

He waves his hand and points in the direction to go.

“Go ahead, I'll watch your back.”

The walk to the car doesn't take long, and you're glad that you won't have to walk another distance on your still scarred and aching legs.

"No way!"

You scream in shock when you see a large, dark pickup truck parked in the cul-de-sac.

“You have a working car! I couldn't find..."

Standing at the passenger door, a man interrupts you, stands next to the trunk and you open the hatch

“Riley, get in. You sit in the back too”

He points to the trunk of the pickup truck

"What? Are you kidding me?"

This man was behaving absurdly. You guess that years of loneliness made him unable to behave socially. He forgot what it was like to interact with another living person.

“Just. Get. In. And don't whine unless you want to walk to the tower. You know the way.”

The man looked at you without blinking.

“To the tower? Why are we going to the tower?”

You say in disbelief, letting go of another exchange of words, slowly climbing into the trunk and sitting down next to the dog. Ghost closes the trunk, making sure the dog is safe, and gets behind the wheel.

“We need to visit your companions. Since they're not in town, they're probably waiting for you there. You know my name, so you must have read the letter.”

As the car starts moving, you start to wonder if you did the right thing by getting into the trunk. Letting a stranger take you away, God knows where. There was something wrong with this man. He thought Riley was his and that you weren't coming to town on your own. Maybe he too, like you, has been living alone all these months. And he clearly couldn't cope with it. You hug the dog, just hoping that when you reach the tower, the man will finally believe you and let you stay.

Nevertheless, you did not want to be left on your own again. Only now did you feel how much you missed another living person. How much you needed to feel someone's presence. To know that you were not meant to live in isolation. You felt that the burden that had stuck with you through those many sleepless, weeping nights had finally fallen from your shoulders.

Maybe it was destiny.  This was your fate.

So, you accept it already.

Even if from now on, you will have to live with this strange, mysterious man in a mask.

taglist:

@leviathanleva @chocolate-noodles @vmaxis @poohkie90 @ghostlythots @nobodys-coffee @famouscattale @youdontneedtoknow1226 @pimpinsins @justguessfan @novasilvae @pausbirudanlumbalumba @ella2497

[baohanhanesel]

Valeria Garza x Reader

Summary: She is mad at you for screwing up, she lectures you. But she forgets one thing.

Saying Valeria is a scary woman when she gets riled up is an understatement.

The moment that woman raises her voice and narrows her gaze to the deadliest of them all, you know you are done.

Valeria slammed her fist on the table, towering over the table in front of her with a dangerous stance.

She didn't break the eye contact with the person in front of her even once.

"What kind of idiot do you have to be to do such a mistake?!" She scolds and scolds.

The glare alone rips the soul out of your body, you do nothing but to cross your arms under your chest as you sit pliantly on the couch.

You study her with your eyes, you won't cower under her gaze, you won't. You'll listen to her shout, yell and scream.

"Seriously, God!!" She shouts and this time the life in her eyes is off-putting.

Anyone else in your position would have been either crying hysterically or apologizing till no end.

"Do you realize just how stupid you are to take such a risk? I am talking with YOU!"

Valeria's eyes flash with rage and she finds herself walking up to your body and standing over you.

You don't bother tilting your head up, you look up at her from the corner of your eyes and a soft smile plays over your lips.

"Yes ma'am."

Valeria is dumbfounded from the blow.

"Yes ma'am..?" She pounds in her head. Are you even taking her seriously?

Valeria's eyebrows furrow and she grabs your collar.

"Are you belittling me? Do you even listen, cabrón?! You risked something important and now we are here!"

"Do you think I enjoy shouting at you?! Fucking speak to me!"

"SPEAK!" She shouts your name

The rage in her eyes fuels with your careless expression.

You stay silent and listen to her scream. Listening to her lecture, completely mesmerized by the beauty of her rage.

"Are we done?" You smile, then stand up, completely avoiding Valeria's personal space and pushing her against the table behind her.

A step backwards, she finds herself slumped against the table, hands clutching to the sides of the wooden table.

"I am not wrong or stupid, Valeria." Your voice is calculated, your hand comes up to grab her chin with the slightest of touches.

It is hard to tell if you are actually touching her skin, but she feels her skin crawl underneath your thumb.

She swallows hard, eyes looking into yours with frustration behind them.

You tilt her chin up, so slightly. That's when she realizes she didn't have the power in this room in the first place.

"Not wrong, ma'am. Was never. I would take the risk again." You look into her eyes, no fear nothing but a tinge of fascination and intimacy.

She feels like she is in a chockhold.

"Listen here," You keep her engaged with the conversation with the grounding hand on her chin and intense eye contact. You know how to keep her eyes on yourself. "The risk was worth taking. You shouldn't try taking the risk I took, that's something I can pull off. For you. For us."

Valeria looks away, breaking the eye contact first.

Because if she doesn't, she feels like she is going to burn.

The same fingers grounding her slid her gaze back into yours.

"Understood, ma'am?" You ask with a small voice, a sultry whisper hitting her core.

She nods.

"I need words, Valeria. Can't go wrong with danger."

"Yes." She exhales.

The situation was out of her control from the first place, it seemed. This should have annoyed her, but instead she found the situation pretty much comforting... If not attractive.

[sirgogington]

My Word Vomit Response on the Shelby Situation

Main Situation: Last week Wilbur Soot from Lovejoy was accused of having been abusive towards his ex girlfriend Shelby. Shelby is a live streamer and last week she did a livestream about the signs of knowing if you are in an abusive relationship. She never stated his name, but from details given people started assuming it was about Wilbur Soot. A few days later Wilbur confirmed that it was him in an apology tweet on his Twitter account. The abuse had to do with painful biting, and manipulation. 

    I want to start off by saying I do believe Shelby's story. I don't think Wilbur is innocent, but I do believe this situation isn't as black and white as people are claiming it to be. 

    Former fans after hearing the story started unfollowing Wilbur and Lovejoy and saying what a terrible man that Wilbur is, and vowing to never listen to or view any of his content ever again. He's not just a terrible man, he has to be evil too. I may be optimistic but I do think most people can change for the better if they truly want to. There are exceptions, but I truly believe that Wilbur can. The internet wants to just label him as evil and not give him any room to do that. The new thing is "guilty until proven innocent" and that's super harmful as I will go into in a different post. The way people are spreading hate in a us/them mentality is not a mature way of viewing/handling this situation and does more harm than good. Especially when it comes to death threats and doxing which have been received by both sides.

   Wilbur is someone who had a hard upbringing, and has brought up at different times his struggles with mental health. On screen or on stage you would never know this about him, because he has this mask of being confident, well spoken, and joyful. Through these details Wilbur has shared we know that touring took a lot out of him mentally and put him in a bad place, but that he was seeking therapy and is probably currently still seeing a therapist to try and get better. He's shared in the past that when he first blew up on the internet he used alcohol to cope because of how overwhelming it was that so many people were consuming his content. From Shelby's stream we also learned that his living space was dirty and unhygienic and that he would make excuses for it. The details for me paint the picture of a guy struggling badly with mental illness and having a hard time caring for himself and his home. Someone who can hardly take care of themselves should not have been in a relationship. This puts a lot on the other person.  It's different if he were stable and then then his mental health crashed in the middle of a longer relationship, but not if your too mentally ill to begin with. I do deeply feel sorry that Shelby had to experience that, as it truly shouldn't have happened. 

   I went to school for psychology and know quite a bit about different types of mental illnesses. I am by no means diagnosing Wilbur, but I do think he shows signs of someone with Boderline Personality Disorder. Borderline Personality Disorder is an emotional disregulation disorder characterized by unstable mood, behavior, and relationships. People with BPD self sabotage and will frequently end up pushing people away because they don't think they're good enough for them. (In this case maybe he wanted to act so bad so she would leave him, which is very unhealthy). People with BPD also go through depressive episodes and can act impulsively. Without therapy it is extremely hard to cope with this condition but with therapy you can make great strides in changing. I think like most mental illnesses you are aware of the fact you don't like the way you're acting you just have a hard time controlling it. For instance for me growing up with anxiety I knew most of my fears were completely irrational but that didn't stop them from overtaking my life and still feeling anxious. Wilbur has written some really deep lyrics on his new solo album Mammalian Sighing Reflex and I feel like it reflects that he doesn't like the way he is and feels guilty about those he's harmed through it. Maybe I'm giving this man too much credit, but like I said I do believe most people are capable of changing for the better. 

   Shelby stated she did the livestream as a way to help protect other victims of domestic violence and Wilbur Soot himself. He might still be dangerous to the public, it's really hard to know. I know after my own situation with being manipulated I was worried about the guy going after other younger women like he had with me. I didn't want anyone else have to be in that situation so I understand where Shelby is coming from. I also know that if the guy in my life had ever posted an apology, no matter how good it was, that I still wouldn't believe him and have a hard time forgiving him. Bold take but I think his apology was at least decent. Could it have been better, yeah, but could it have been a lot worse, also yes. In his apology he admits to being the person Shelby was talking about. He states that her feelings are valid, and that he wants people to hold him to higher accountability, and that he was sorry for any hurt he caused. Maybe he isnt, but it's hard to know. Wilbur stated in a livestream from last October 2023 that he was going to therapy the next day, because of this we can assume that Wilbur has been going to therapy at minimum since October. In that same livestream he states that he showers once a day when he's in his "big sad", and that he has rented places all over Brighton. He is at least hygienic in this regard, maybe moreso than he was before. It could be a red flag that Wilbur has lived all over Brighton due to possible evictions whether that be negligence or noise complaints from doing livestreams.

��  We'll never know how other content creators truly feel about him except for the ones that made it obvious. Of course most content creators are going to jump on the bandwagon and agree that he's an evil man. If they don't then they'll lose their platform because of all the hate they'd get. I do believe some content creators will still hang out with Wilbur secretly or still even remain his friend. But we'll never know. 

   For the people who are posting different video evidences of Wilbur supposedly showing signs of being abusive in the past this is what is called confirmation bias. If you believe someone is abusive suddenly you can find details in the littlest things to confirm your thought process. A lot of the clips I've been seeing have been of normal everyday behavior or confirmed bits. I've seen people say that Wilbur must have bit down really hard to leave bruises. In some cases people bruise more easily than others. I know I have random bruises on my body from nothing. We can tell that what Wilbur did however was pretty painful due to have to use a safe word. Getting bitten usually hurts. I've been bitten by a 5 year old at work and can't imagine how it would feel to be bitten by a grown man who intentionally bit down hard.

This could be confirmation bias as well, but when looking at the lyrics in Mammalian Sighing Reflex and at the album art it seems to tell the story of a man (Wilbur) who really messed up in a relationship and is feeling the pain from that, and has a lot of regret due to knowing he was the cause of her pain. He poured so much of himself into the album it's like he's bleeding out in front of the audience with the amount of vulnerability.

Analyzing lyrics because why not, using lyrics from "Mammalian Sighing Reflex"

"I get so drunk I can barely see." If this album is related to his relationship with Shelby, which I think it probably is, then maybe he tried to cope with the relationship failing by using alcohol, or sabotaged the relationship through drinking.

"A lot of friends have left my life, escaping my tractor beam of woe" Having a mental illness can make it hard to maintain friendships. This could be because it makes you so self-focused on your problems, or that people get tired of hearing about your problems. If you constantly talk about how sad you are, some people are going to have a hard time dealing with that, or get burnt out from having to keep on cheering you up.

"Fuck my life, you cared when I was sick, no one ever gave a shit.....you fought this war one-sided and asked me what am I doing this for." These lyrics seem to speak about how in a past relationship (probably meaning with Shelby), that she cared that he was mentally ill/in a low point and wanted to help him get better. The fight to help him get better was one-sided due to Wilbur not helping to get himself better. If he would have helped her then they "could of stitched my mind together."

"Never been the one for romance, never thought that I'd get married. Never been the kind to give a shared life a second glance, selfish prose." In Shelby's livestream she talked about how her and Wilbur talked about the possibility of getting married and having kids until he backtracked and said that he wasn't that way and changed his mind.

The song "I Don't Think It Will Ever End" is how his mind seems to work in cycles. He'll be sad, because he feels sad he hides away for a bit, but then he feels silly for hiding himself so he forces himself to interact with people. But then when forcing himself to interact again he feels sad, which he says is not a good feeling when you're supposedly in a good phase. He says as self-sabotage he gets silly. Wilbur is known for telling a lot of jokes, and maybe this is a way he masks his true feelings. Also for Mammalian Sighing Reflex it says the songs were written by William Gold (his legal name) and performed by Wilbur Soot (his stage name). Wilbur is who the internet/fans see him as and William Gold is who he really is. Meaning the way we see him online is the extroverted, charismatic, likeable guy we know him as whereas William Gold is introverted, self-sabotaging, nerdy, and a deep thinker.

     The internet gives us way too much information. We're constantly bombarded with more and more information. Before the internet and even in the earlier internet days you did not have this. People were not being as closely viewed and known as they are now. You have to be careful about every little thing you say, because God forbid you say the wrong thing and get canceled. It didn't used to be this way. The only reason you'd ever know anything bad about a celebrity is if they were in the news. I think most of the media we consume whether TV shows, movies, etc. have the potential to have us supporting "bad people". It would be overwhelming to look up every single person we had ever consumed media from and sift through what are lies and what are not about each actor, singer, etc. I get that people don't want to give a platform to people doing bad things, but it's almost impossible to know and to remove every single bad person from the content you consume.  Being a celebrity in general is hard. It's easy to become addicted to drugs, and experience toxicity especially celebrities that live in Los Angeles. Most become people they regret, but some change for the better too. I'm not saying people who do serious crimes should get out of jail because they can become better people. People in jail should remain in jail for serious crimes. Time will tell what becomes of him. If more about him is released or if he's able to actually make strides in his health like he said he would. We will wait and see. I really hope he can heal and get better. Even the most unlikely ones can change their lives. You can both support Shubble and hope that Wilbur gets better.

[bloggingboutburgers]

Something that really ought to be said more... it's ok not to understand. To never understand even. (In the case of the reblog, understanding sex / peoples' fixation on both it and romance, but it can apply to anything.)

People can give all myriad of reasons they do or like something, but that doesn't have to change your mind about how you personally engage with it.

I think the only case where understanding matters is insofar having a greater understanding helps limit how much people hate something out of ignorance, but that isn't foolproof (people can understand and still double down, which I've seen happen a lot towards every hated group under the sun).

Aspec or not, your cultural upbringing and how you physically perceive intimacy of all kinds is going to affect both if you enjoy it and how you understand it.

For many, sex and romance isn't an important goal but a thing that just happens. The uniquity of it with "life" is worth questioning, especially in cases where people feel pressured to perform and participate in sex and romance. But for many it isn't something they plan for at all. They may include it in fanfiction or fanart (and yeah it absolutely is prevalent in that space the same way edgy ms paint furry art was prevalent in the early 2010s) but that inclusion is not a message to onlookers that they must themselves aspire to a relationship like the one depicted.

Thank you so much for this, it feels sincerely validating and... Yeah, like you said, it ought to be said more.

I gotta admit it's hard sometimes not to want to understand, when (as an aro/ace person, that is) you're pretty much incentivized to do so at every turn. Even if you're lucky enough to not have been treated as a prudish freak for expressing you're aro or ace, and finger-pointed with a "You should try to understand people's point of view better" (sic: very few people try to do the same for you)... Society is portrayed as just working that way, putting romance and sex as #1 priority is portrayed as "the normal thing to do", and in my own experience and a fair amount of aros and aces around me, it seems, it's not just "included" in fanfiction or fanart, it's... Aggressively prevalent. Like, 95% to be generous, possibly more. And it's not just fanwork either. Fiction and art in general are loaded with it. So... Yeah, it's kinda hard sometimes NOT to take all of this as a message that this is what we should aspire to and the way we are isn't valid.

But then even if you're lucky enough, like I am, to FEEL valid despite all that, it's still... Lonely. I wanna understand because some days, a lot of days, it seems it's the only thing people actually connect over, and even if I'll never feel the appeal, I wanna understand the logic behind it, at least that much, so I'm not made to feel like such an alien for wanting to focus on other things. I wanna know the reasons.

Another more personal thing is that when I was growing up as an aro-ace, before I figured myself out, I thought everyone else was blowing things out of proportion to an abnormal degree without realizing I was the "abnormal" one, and that lead me to see breakups with a very "well, duh, that's what people do, they break up" outlook and not understanding the devastation behind it. I've gotten better at it, but there's still a lot I just find myself smiling and nodding to without really getting it, and that hurt too, to a degree. I feel cold to my friends and to other people.

I know I shouldn't, because I am who I am and I don't love them any less or am any more unfeeling than them, and I know I guess I shouldn't feel too guilty for not understanding allo people because allo people in general, exceptions aside, will make little to no effort to understand me back, but... Yeah, it's hard not to, a lot of the time. So being told it's OK is definitely valuable and a relief, even if it won't make that feeling go away in me, it's still a relief. Thank you.

[beanghostprincess]

I've been thinking for a while about why I like Sabosan so much as a ship (even though I don't talk much about them. My mistake, honestly. I should do it more). Because we all know that out of the ASL brothers, Ace and Luffy are the ones who seem to make more sense when it comes to shipping them with Sanji. But there's just something about Sabosan that makes me go insane...

(Long post)

Lusan is quite obvious: Captain x His cook. Cook who starves as a metaphor for selflessness and who's always giving instead of taking x Captain who devours the whole world because he appreciates selfishness and freedom but is willing to starve to save his cook. Careless x Anxious. Sun x Ocean. Both are always sacrificing themselves but Luffy is at least aware of the value of his own life while Sanji sees himself as dispensable. They both work so well together because Luffy sees Sanji as kindness itself and what a cook truly needs to be (keep in mind that food is crucial for OP's story and it represents happiness most of the time) and he makes him want to seek freedom and his own desires. Sanji is a dreamer and he's hopeful yet extremely pessimistic when it comes to his persona, and Luffy is equally as hopeful but he despises his nakama seeing himself as unworthy of being in his crew. They both get each other's weaknesses and strengths and, okay, Luffy might not truly get Sanji completely but he doesn't need to as long as he sees the kindness in him and realizes everything he does, he does it for others. While Sanji sees Luffy as an escape from the prison he's always been locked in. My beloveds. Perfect dynamic (not going to make a whole analysis because I already talk about them enough here).

The thing is, Ace is also a perfect match for Sanji for a lot of reasons: You see, I think we can see a lot of similarities between them, especially the ones Luffy can't understand by himself but can link to both. Ace's way of dealing with depression and self-deprecation is to lean on his brothers and find a reason to live on them. If they love him, then at least it will have been worth it being alive. The same thing goes for Sanji, I think. It's not that he's actively suicidal. I don't think either of them seeks death, but they do think about it a lot and what the world would be like without them. Sanji sees himself as dispensable while Luffy can't believe a word he's saying, but Ace? Ace understands. He's been years thinking he shouldn't be alive. That he was a mistake. And the same thing goes for Sanji, growing up in a family that constantly told him he shouldn't exist and even faked his death. Once again, same thing with Ace and hiding his identity from the world. Ace knows he's loved, even if he has a hard time admitting why people like Sabo and Luffy would love him. But they do. It's a fact, even if it's hard to believe. And he keeps going thanks to their love and to protect them. Ace, although his personality might seem cocky and selfish and careless at first (which it is, but you know), he's extremely selfless when it comes to the people he loves. He literally lives thanks to them. Sanji basically does the same thing. Both of them cope with sabotaging themselves and they don't really value their lives unless it's someone else (cof cof Luffy cof cof) the one giving them a reason to keep going. I think Acesan works great as a ship because, from a more psychological point of view, like- Ace was born to be a brother. His whole character is created and introduced as Luffy's brother. Of course, he's more than that, but his chill and laid-back personality with sprinkles of emotional maturity only comes from growing up too fast because he desperately needed to take care of his little brother. Sanji desperately needs that type of connection with somebody and instantly feels attracted to protective people because he has never been protected before. Sanji has only been hurt by his brothers, so of course it's natural that he's astonished when he sees Ace for the first time being oh so kind and loving to Luffy. That's what he wanted. And it makes his heart melt instantly. Besides, going for a more personality thing here, Sanji is pretty repressed (when it comes to his memories. His gender. His sexuality. His feelings) while Ace (although he hides a lot of issues) is wayyy more proactive when it comes to what he wants. Sanji is scared to walk on earth, and Ace takes the world as his personal playground because he wants to be something that people remember that won't include mentioning his father. He wants to do something for himself. And talking about fathers, even if their daddy issues aren't the same, they both have grudges. And you know what else they have in common? Their gorgeous, blonde, dead mothers who died for them. Instant bond. They fit perfectly.

Now, about Sabosan:

If we're starting with the things they have in common, this is gonna be a wild ride. Both are nobles born in a family that absolutely did not love them but wanted them anyway for different (failed) purposes. They both escaped from those families but people thought they were dead for a long time, and their parents easily just found a substitute for them without caring much about what happened. Saying they have trauma is an understatement. They both escape from those lives completely, form new bonds with new people, and start a family somewhere else. And then they have to deal with that again and, not only that but suffer from the beautiful survivor's guilt that comes from not being able to save their siblings. I know Sabo's survivor's guilt is even worse because his bond with Ace was way stronger, but I think there's a part of Sanji who feels awful for Reiju and what she chooses to be a part of when she's actively different from their brothers too. Once again mentioning the self-sabotaging behavior and self-sacrificing acts because they're extremely selfless and have strong morals that lead them to these things. It's fundamentally different because I think Sanji is way more of a feeler than Sabo, but-- But the core of their personalities really is being extremely protective of the things they love and their ideals. It's not only the fact that they could bond over their pasts (and could easily be the only people understanding each other completely) but also the fact that their personalities fit perfectly. They balance each other. They're not the most mentally stable people in the world, but I think Sanji's issues are more similar to Ace's, and Sabo would know how to handle them. While Sanji is a natural caretaker and would not hesitate to take care of Sabo's breakdowns and episodes (because, sue me for being realistic, I think this guy has a personality disorder and depressive episodes and a bunch of other stuff. Just like Sanji, really. I mean- To me they're a very people pleaser BPD haver who has probably an eating disorder and anxiety x very overprotective Bipolar insomniac with memory issues. Maybe that's just me and my headcanons).

I am not going to be a nerd about them. But I am going to be a nerd about them. *pulls out MBTI profiles*

Sanji prioritizes connecting with other people. He's extremely empathetic and his core needs are to be liked and to help others. His ideals are focused on the suffering of others and how to help them. He's very structured when it comes to what he wants to achieve, but he often puts others before his own needs instead of actually taking what he wants, and that affects him negatively. Not to mention his sense of depersonalization and hatred towards himself and where he comes from. And how that makes him sabotage himself and think he's not worthy of the love people offer him. This is kind of exactly what Ace goes through too and that's why I think Sabo would be able to help him. He's loyal and trustworthy and he would do anything for his loved ones and morals. Something that, again, matches Sabo completely. His sense of ethics is very intense and focuses mainly on empathy. He seeks love, attention, and praise from others. And he's also extremely hopeful for his dreams. He never stops believing in the All Blue or Luffy, just in himself. Which shows his sense of trust and loyalty but also his low appreciation towards himself.

Sabo, on the other hand, is a more meticulous person. I know he seems like he loses control often, but he doesn't follow his feelings as much as it looks. He's more logical and he doesn't follow what he wants but what he thinks it's right for others and society. That being said, he also will do whatever the fuck he wants if he feels like it because he's chaotic like that. He has very strong morals and focuses on finding solutions to the world's problems. Instead of focusing on one thing, he sees the whole picture and specializes in many things at once and chooses what to fight for instead of following his feelings. He often has to make difficult choices regarding his loved ones, and even if he would do anything if Luffy was in trouble when it comes to the greater good, he doesn't hesitate to do what's more reasonable regarding his ethics. However, he has a strong sense of protection and his anxiety also is a huge part of his personality, so that's pretty much when he loses control. He feels mostly responsible for what happens around him and always wants to be the one in control and fears losing the ones he loves.

The main difference between them, I'd say, is that Sabo is pretty much revengeful and his personality has a strong part of hatred towards humanity and the ones who have hurt him and society. His whole thing is fighting against them, too. Unlike Sanji, who even if he is able to hate people, he doesn't seem to be able to actually hurt them in a meaningful way because his kind personality makes him unable to do so (unless the people he's fighting go against his morals. Like having hurt a woman or wasting food or whatever). Not that Sabo isn't kind, but he knows how to stand up for himself and his morality and he can tell perfectly between right and wrong in a very black-and-white sense, while Sanji (even if he goes to extremes quite a lot) lets himself be used and he doesn't harm others the way they harm him (not to confuse with "played with" because Sanji is not that easily manipulated. He knows what's going on all the time. He just lets himself be used if it will protect the ones he loves or if it goes against his kindness and morality).

So I think (and this is the part where I explain how this relationship would work) that Sabo would be able to protect Sanji. It's not that Sanji needs protecting because at the end of the day, he can fight back and he can stand up for himself, but that's only when it comes to fights that don't have to do with him personally and only with his morals. Sabo has a very calm facade. A very gentleman-like personality, even if he's still as chaotic as his brothers. But he's more gentle. He's softer, too, in a way, because he analyzes what people need. He approaches things in a very protective but soothing way. Like, he could burn disgusting men alive for Sanji, turn around at him and say everything's fine and Sanji would straight-up believe him and then blush uncontrollably and then hit him for being reckless. In that order. I don't think Sanji likes feeling weak, because he has this thing in common with Sabo in which he doesn't like not being in control. But I think he needs this. He needs to be held and taken care of sometimes. He needs to let himself be weak around others. And Sabo wants somebody to protect because he couldn't do it with his siblings. I think Sabo would be gentle and patient with Sanji while also bringing silliness and the typical brightness the ASL brothers have in common. He'd be chaotic with him and Sanji would definitely get mad at him for stealing food or wanting to do the deed (keeping it safe for work my pals, but yeah, Sabo would be horny 24/7 and would not let Sanji cook. He wants to fuc-) while he's busy. But! But also Sabo would take care of him and would analyze the patterns. He would notice when he eats. What he eats. If he eats at all. He would worry about his sleep schedule and whether he's overworking himself or not (because surprise! He does the same thing). And Sabo would also love every part of him and have such deep hatred for the ones who have hurt him. I think Sabo would want to take revenge but Sanji would strongly refuse and Sabo would absolutely love that about him. "You're better than me, I would've set your family on fire. But this is what makes you so kind" type of thing. Basically, Sabo is fucking batshit crazy but he's silly and kind and talks like a revolutionary French man in the 18th century and Sanji loves him. Also, Sanji has a history with craycray people because Pudding is not okay mentally either and look at him, being down bad. Sabo loves Sanji for the same reasons Luffy does, he's just kindness itself and Sabo is so full of hatred that he truly, really needs somebody like him.

And Sanji? Sanji just absolutely loves how protective Sabo is. When it comes to his family and his friends and his morals and beliefs. After being surrounded by people who did not care about anything during his childhood and also being extremely scared of ending up being like them, Sanji appreciates that strong sense of protectiveness and the humanity that comes with loving something/somebody so much. That's what Sanji needs, basically. Sanji likes that Sabo is caring and gentle and always keeps an eye on literally everyone and everything. He likes the brightness and joy that comes with Sabo too, because he might be calculative but he's also impulsive when it comes to his needs and likes. Luffy might be the representation of liberation in a godly way, but Sabo is the realistic personification of freedom. And as much as I love Lusan and making religious imagery metaphors, I think those fit Zolu way more because Sanji needs to be realistic with this and Sabo is the one who can make him see life this way. He would also care a bit too much about Sabo's health because everyone knows it's fucked up and he's willing to die if it's for the revolution. It's not like he doesn't appreciate his life, in fact, he does. He knows he is crucial to society and can't die. But if it's for the greater good he would leave Sanji and Koala and Luffy behind and die. He doesn't want to do that to them and he'd desperately try not to because he values his worth, but... Y'know. It's not that he doesn't care about living, but he cares too much that he ends up hurting himself and overworking. And Sanji does that too, but seeing it from the outside with an empathetic personality like his is just... Painful.

So while Sabo shows Sanji how to be free and feels hatred for the both of them, Sanji is the kindness in the world Sabo is looking for and gives him something to put his mind at ease when it's filled with demons. And also, they get each other's pasts and trauma on a fundamental level that not a lot of people do.

I don't know how their relationship could start, really, but it could happen in a simple way such as: Sabo pays a visit to the crew (fuck the timeline btw, choose whichever arc you like or just ignore canon) and meets Sanji. Offers to help him cook (fails because he fucking sucks at cooking and he just wanted to help and actually he just ends up flirting with him and eating the ingredients) and stays with him to clean the dishes (something he can't do either because he won't stop talking and being overly distracted). And Sanji just- He's just so similar to both Ace and Luffy but in a more mature and gentle way, somehow? He brings peace to him but there's just something wrong with him deep inside Sanji can't quite catch, but feels connected to. Like they both just get each other, pretending they're fine but knowing they're not and also just enjoying each other's presence. Sabo feels captivated by the cook because he feels like there's just so much more he's hiding from him, and Sabo has always liked analyzing every little thing (<- writer behavior. We as a society need to talk more about how Sabo wants to be a writer canonically). Maybe Sabo starts visiting more often or stays for a while, but the thing is they grow closer because they keep wanting to know each other more. Perhaps a fight against some marines happens and Sabo goes full protective of him or Luffy and Sanji is extremely turned on by that (who wouldn't after seeing Sabo break skulls like eggs). And maybe they end up fucking, and it's not rough, but it's not extremely soft either? It's the perfect mix of possessiveness and care and somehow Sanji still feels in control all the way through. And I don't want to mention the cigarette of doom but Sabo lighting up Sanji's cigarette for him would be extremely intimate but also would make Sanji worry because every time this happens, he ends up creating a strong bond with that someone and something goes wrong. So they like each other a lot but there's always this layer of anxiety? Like they care too much for the other to say what they are but they refuse to lose each other. And Luffy either keeps telling Sabo to not still his cook or teasing Sabo for liking his cook, no in between. But yeah, let's make them go into a relationship:

Clingiest mfs on planet earth. Can't stand them. Sanji is down bad and is turned on by every little thing Sabo does but also can't stand him when he gets annoying and ends up yelling at him like an angry housewife. Sabo often takes that as flirting and starts teasing him more, being really into PDA and also being extremely soft. Sabo says the most romantic things in the world and expects Sanji not to fall for him??? Okay. But it's not only Sanji who blushes because then he keeps feeding Sabo his favorite food and smiling at him and Sabo suddenly feels dumb and weak in the knees and has the need to laugh like a high school girl in a rom-com. Sabo is extremely possessive and I think as a fandom we all agree on that, but it's not even in a toxic way. Sanji likes it. Let them be like that. And as I said, they'd take care of each other when one is overworking himself or having nightmares or not being able to sleep or function properly. They'd be each other's anchors and they would completely understand the other.

I don't know, I just think they fit perfectly <3 Killer Queen and Good Old-Fashioned Lover Boy? Yes. Anti-Hero and Mastermind? Yes. Sky x Ocean? Of course, fuck other dynamics, this one hits different. They mean the world to me 🩵💙🩵💙🩵

To end this, I gotta say that they also look extremely hot together. I think the post would've been shorter if I just said I want both of them to kiss because it would look good, but I love analyzing the shit out of my favorite characters.

Tagging my awesome mootie @tinukis because he gave me the idea for a Sabosan analysis!!!! Thought you might be interested <3 Also, here's the post that made me think about it !!!!