#I ranted about it to my friends who’re not even in the fandom and they agreed this shit’s insane /pos

[justalittleguest]

The ending scene of Chapter 26 from “Spilled Ink” by Im_sorry_buddy on AO3 is the only thing my rotten brain let me think about every day since I read it. That kind of consistent obsession can be sorta comforting.

[clementine-thedestroyer]

Every time I see the word “petite” used in anything x reader or just anything in general, it sparks a rage (or pain, depending on my mood) inside of me.

It feels like, especially in the cod fandoms, petite is the beauty standard. If I’m not 4’11 then I don’t exist, apparently.

Sure, maybe that’s a slight exaggeration, but I hate when the word petite is used because an author assumes that because whatever character is over 6 foot that everyone will seem “petite” in comparison.

Tw for my dumb ass ranting beyond the cut ig

Maybe I should specify that I see petite more as a term to describe hight than weight. You could be any size and imo, the word petite can still apply if you’re short.

It’s especially bad with König. Like, I get it- we all love imagining him as some 6’10 giant, but just because he’s tall doesn’t mean you should put describe a reader insert as short in comparison unless you’ve warned that your reader is short coded.

It’s like going into a fic and seeing “his hand wraps easily around your forearm” because the writer forgot that not everyone is skinny.

And I completely understand, writers write for themselves, I write for myself- but if you’re posting it somewhere public and other people are reading it, you need to warn them if it’s anything but height/size/gender neutral.

These are wonderful things! Fem!reader is an amazing tag! It helps people find what they want to read and avoid what they don’t, I wish it was more normal to put things like “short-coded!reader”

Because like, Bestie, that’s all we need. If you tell me that whatever reader insert you have is probably coded to be short, then I can just write off all mentions of the word “petite” and ignore them.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t blame any writer for not. I’m not saying every needs to start tagging their fics like that or anything, it’s just wishful thinking and a rant/vent born from my own insecurities regarding my height.

But when it’s treated like normal to be small, it can hurt, because it feels like the standard. Like I should be smaller than these men.

And fuck, I’m not even that tall. I’m 5’8 and a half, that’s really not that tall- and one of my best friends is like 6ft. I hate how, as someone who is, again, not even that tall, I feel like this. Because how do the rest of y’all feel? I know there are girls shorter than me that probably feel too tall too, and I sincerely hope that girls taller than me don’t feel worse than I do, because no, they’re fucking beautiful.

My 6ft friend? She’s fucking gorgeous (she’s not on tumblr so I can say that safely). Tall women in general are fucking gorgeous, and of course I don’t blame short girls for writing fan fiction that appeals to them. They’re writing it, of course it’s going to appeal to them. If you’re not writing for yourself, who’re you writing for?? If anything, I blame the world for making it the standard that the girl is smaller than the boy.

Short men exist, tall women exist. And I know that short men will be insecure about their hight, so clearly this isn’t just me being (completely) psycho. Somewhere, it was instilled in us that a man should be taller.

And while on some level, I fully admit that I am yes, very jealous of short girls. I fully acknowledge this. I also find short girls hot (tall girls too, let me be clear. As I mentioned, 6ft friend is fucking gorgeous).

Ah fuck women are hot. Shit, this turned me to a “women being hot” rant again. This always happens, what the hell.

[kuvvydraws]

Life for me has been utter shit - stuck with godawful lessons and a lot of tests, all the while having to worry about this group of mean girls who I offended a couple month ago and now have to constantly think about what I do because all it takes is one mistep and they go all snarky and stir up trouble by making baseless accusations - cause all it takes is one mistake to turn your best friends into utter bitches ((sorry for the language)) who constantly make it out to be that I’m always going out of my way to wind them up and harass them

And now I’m worried that if any of my other past mistakes come up that they’re going to make it out to be a big thing, and if they make it out to be a big thing then I just know it’s gonna reach the teachers who’re gonna make it reach home and then I’ll have to deal with the usual disappointment I get when I make even the smallest mistake, because everyone expects me to be this perfect little thing that cant make a single mistake, and if that happens I honestly don’t know how I’m gonna deal with it - especially if I lose my phone, as it’s like my only comfort source and tether to the things that actually make me happy.

And no I don’t mean that in terms of social media, I mainly mean that in terms of stuff like access to tumblr and my fanfiction - because as sad as it sounds they’re the only thing keeping my happy and keeping me going

I should probably talk about some of this with my counsellor, but then she’s gonna have to mention it to her superiors who’ll most likely make her tell my parents and I just don’t have the energy or will power to deal with that

So here I am, using anon on tumblr to rant at someone as sweet as you who’s probably just gonna get either super bummed out or kinda concerned which you shouldn’t be as I honestly don’t deserve anyone’s care or concern. I’m already a waste of physical space, no need to be a waste of someone’s emotional and mental energy as well.

Sorry. - 🦋anon🦋

((just to add a little bit of recognition in case I want to/need to rant again. Granted that’s good with you of course))

Alright so that's a lot, so I think I'm going to answer this under a read more and hopefully I can bring you some sort of comfort, as little as that may be

Before that tho, I know I'm not a rant/venting blog, but you guys can come do so in asks or DMS even if we never talk again. I rather lend an ear that have you with a heavy weight on your shoulders if I can help carry it.

ALSO

This is a self-deprecation free blog! Y'all are a fucking delight, and gorgeous inside and out and I'll frigging fight you if I must in order to seal that idea in your funky little brains! 🔪🔪🔪

School problems sound like a lot of stress rn (I'm guessing you're not in college yet, I don't have the facts tho), and those come in the source of social and study issues. To the later, I can only say that they will pass, they're temporary and they don't really matter that much as long as you manage the bare minimum to go on with your life plans (which is a ridiculous thing to say because I myself am 23 and I still don't know jack shit about anything, much less about life).

Your "friends", and this is the last time I call them that, are clearly not deserving of you, not only if they treat you that way but also because if you're so sure they're willing to use mistakes from the past against you, that means you kind of subconsciously understood they weren't that good to start with. To that I can only say that kind of gut feeling comes with age (I'm full of hateful advice tonight, sorry), and that those mistakes they'll make you face were things you did in the past you made being younger and less informed and "matured", and you should look at them with that gaze instead of beating yourself over them or letting them get to you (this is not easy, but you can do it 💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻)

Idk how you school (again, guessing) works, but sure there is a tutor or someone you can talk with from the staff, a therapist they hire from time to time or, and I know you won't like this option, the counselor. Think of your mental health for a moment, please.

You're not a machine.

You are not a perfect thing.

You're human, and you're fallible, and weak, and you get tired, and you make mistakes. And that's okay.

And people around you have to understand that. They can't make you a puppet to satisfy their expectations because that's going to end up either burning you out or tearing you apart.

From here, and I clearly don't know all the details so please consider that too, I think you should sacrifice some of that untouchable image others have assigned on you that you use like a shield and show vulnerability, let an "authority" inform your parents that you do very much have a breaking point and you're reaching it and you need to breathe and exist for a second.

I myself got lost, quite purposefully, in reading and writing and art -and I still do- and consuming media as a source of comfort and familiarity that was, and still is, always reliable and endless.

I don't think there's a problem with that, so long as you keep it reasonable and don't get too lost in it. As we say in my country, "lo bueno, si breve, dos veces bueno" (I'll let you investigate that on your own 😉)

The main thing I get, and what I do all the time because it works for me like a clock, is a red balloon, meaning, hobbies. I like creating things -I like reading the most, honestly, but it's never as engaging as making your own stuff. Write something, draw something, it doesn't matter if you don't think it's good, or bad, or anything or everything in between. You get a distraction, you invest in something that brings you joy such as interacting (or not, that's up to your comfort level and/or want to do so) with fandoms and Tumblr, and one day, when you're feeling under the weather or in need of a break, you can look back and see the things that you have done and be proud of them despite all their little imperfections because you made them and you had a good time while doing so and they helped you get your mind off things.

Exhaustion is a thing, and a terrible one at that, and we end up feeling numb at best, and tired, and just like you can't keep going, you can't even take that infamous baby step that's just enough for some people, and you fear that if you don't make what's barely enough then how...?

That's bullshit. It real, and valid, and it's heavy as fuck and it gets to you, nests inside your very bones and drags you.

I'm not a very cheery person despite what my internet persona might suggest, quite the opposite, and I use that to keep me going.

You can't keep up or find a reason to take that baby step? Do it out of spite.

That's my answer against life itself, when everything is just too much and I cant- I can, out of spite.

NGL buddy, it ain't healthy, but it keeps you on the move until those bad days are over and suddenly you'll find yourself fighting back, standing straight (that's the only straight thing I do), and charging forward like a bull.

Don't give up, I promise time fixes everything sooner or later and good days are on your way. That's a threat.

[bisluthq]

But I mean they get spotted by fans not paps? // when they are spotted what are they doing? Where is the location? Are there pictures? If there are “fan spotting” being sent to DM it is planted. Some fan interactions are true but if they are interactions that happen to “confirm” rumored couples it is planted. DM is paid by pr teams to push official narratives. Obviously they are going to say that Taylor and Joe are together. They are not going to say she’s gay or bi. They have a “don’t discuss celeb’s sexualities!” rule because they ONLY spread what PR teams want them to. And and there are also “fan spottings” of Joe and Taylor all the time. You have claimed in the past that Tree wouldn’t do that but that is wrong. And yes PR teams do create fake “fan spottings” and meetings all the time actually and spread them on social media. Reddit included. Red flags: if the account is newly created or very inactive, if there are no pictures just words and a long paragraph that is overtly descriptive for no reason. Juvenile wording like “they look very in love!” Sometimes they are so well done that no one ever catches on. Yes PR is marketing and marketing includes pushing narratives to fans which is why a large majority of swifties at secret sessions are always Het truthers. Taylor uses them to push her straight image. I sound weird and crazy because you don’t seem to understand how far PR goes and how deep it is which is why you deny so many stunts are stunts. What you and other swifties claim are “conspiracies” are actually the norm in the industry. The stuff you discuss here is very surface level. Everything can and will be faked. That includes lavender marriages and yes “fake babies” that are done by IVF or when surrogates are used and everyone can and will get involved including children that’s how bad it is. Includes fake drama like cheating scandals even. And yes PR teams monitor social media and online fandoms like crazy. That includes Taylor’s camp. If you think Taylor isn’t aware of how homophobic her fanbase is or about the kayspiricy or the fandom drama or how tone deaf she is then you are wrong (and before you misinterpret my words - I am not saying Taylor is the one who is doing the lurking and monitoring, nor is it Tree) Tree’s minions have probably found your blog or read your weird fanfiction and we don’t even know. No doubt in my mind they keep track of everything the fandom does. PR teams monitor fandoms to know what steps to take next. They also do whatever it is to keep their client relevant so yes when someone says Karlie is purposely baiting Kaylors they aren’t wrong to think so. A large majority of her followers are swifties or kaylors. Read her tiktok comments. Swifties drive up her social media engagement so yes even the hate gives her engagement meaning = $$ and relevance. Her team knows this. Holivia is being used to 1) heighten her career (no one knows what she is, but let’s be honest, did you know before it was reported that they were ‘dating’?) and 2) keep Harry closeted; celebrities are often told to come out as “fluid” so that if even if they are gay they stay “attainable” to the opposite sex. Which is why alot of celebrities actually aren’t “fluid” they are actually gay or lesbian. A large majority of Harry’s fanbase consists of girls who want to have sex with him. Just because there’s “no reason” for him to fake date to you doesn’t mean there is none. Just like you say there is “no reason” for Karlie and Josh to be beards when that is wrong. The “only Z-listers are in PR why would A listers need PR?” thing Is a myth. There are many reasons 1) closeted 2) spread a narrative 3)personal reason no one knows 4) financial reasons 5) Blackmail (from another party or higher elite) “PR relationships are all too obvious and stunty and in your face!” Also a myth. PR’s that are not used to give a celebrity relevancy or a boost in their career can be used for other things like I listed. I’m not stupid enough to come off anon but any of this is on the internet publicly and by actual sources not anons on tumblr

I have genuinely never read a more nonsensical rant. I’m sorry but “if you’re not stupid enough to come off anon” I don’t believe you. I’ve worked on film sets, I’ve met publicists - not A lister publicists but like a fair number of publicists - and literally none of what you say stacks with anything I have ever encountered. My girlfriend also worked in film tbh in NYC and we’ve discussed PR and like it all tracks with stuff I’m saying. Sorry. I’ve yet to meet someone who tells me any different.

Also did you just say “no one knew who Olivia Wilde was before they started dating”? You must literally be 12 every fucking millennial knows who Olivia Wilde is dude she was like everyone’s sexual awakening in the 00s.

If you were not a 12 year old conspiracist you… would come off anon lol because it’s pretty clear I protect identities of people who chat to me lmao and people regularly do. It’s never A lister publicists lol it’s like people who’re like “my sister lives next door to Wildestyles look!” or “my friend worked on CWF and here’s what they said!” But you are a 12 year old conspiracist my homie my dude and you know jackshit about anything lmao.

[awed-frog]

Do you have any advice for someone who’s really struggling to study? I’m really stressed and demotivated, and I can’t seem to sit down and just study. In my country we only have virtual classes so maybe It has something to do with that, it’s really sad that it’s my first college year and I haven’t attended one single face to face class. Anyway, If you have any kind words I would really appreciate it. Love your blog btw <3

Hey! Thank you for this! And I’m very sorry you feel that way...just know you’re not alone, I think we’re all a bit ‘what’s the point’ rn, and for students (and teachers) this period must suck especially hard. I don’t know exactly what can work for you, but here are a few things that come to mind. I hope you can find something useful!

Have habits and routines. Our days are all over the place, which is not good for motivation or mental health. Instead of procrastinating, feeling guilty, working in a hurry and then feeling even worse, decide on a schedule that works for you. Don’t be too hard on yourself - give it as much time as you need to do the work well, and devote the rest of your day to stuff that makes you feel accomplished and serene (maybe learn or practice a non-screen skill, such as cooking or painting?).

And: at risk of sounding like a yoga mom, don’t forget about your body. Very often stuff like bad mood or exhaustion has physical, not mental, causes. Try to make time for sport - dancing in your underwear, running outside, walking the dog, online pilates, a 7-minute app - and, if you can, a few minutes of meditation, singing or breathing exercises every day. I’d recommend the ‘cardiac coherence’ stuff - lasts about 3 minutes, makes you feel really great. And: remember to stretch, smile and drink water throughout the day. If possible, go outside or have plants and flowers around you.

When it comes to habit, try to understand what kind of person you are and react accordingly. Some people work best when they change cold turkey (new day, new me), while for others it’s better to adjust things more slowly (for instance by moving the alarm clock forward five minutes every week or two). If you’re the second type, a method like Pomodoro could work well to organize your work schedule. 

Have pretty things. Try switching to ink or coloured pens, have nice stationery, organize your Word documents so they’re neat and tidy, use candles, plants, ‘good mood’ incense - whatever makes you feel your work has meaning and worth.

Try background music. Some people work better with noise, and you can find all kind of noises online, from stations to coffee shops to purring cats. Others like classical music. For me, what works is video game music, which is designed to keep you alert and focused while being unobtrusive.

Try to keep your workspace as similar as possible to a ‘real’ workspace. No stack of dirty mugs and plates, no abandoned pajama bottoms. If you can manage it, start your day as if you were actually going outside - dress for actual human company, put on make-up if you like to - and remember to prepare your desk the night before: textbooks, charged laptop, notebooks, water bottle, possibly a diary or a motivational quote or anything you find useful.

If it helps, study with friends or classmates. Have video meetings, chats or shared Google docs and work together. Rant with people who’re going through the same thing, but also find a way to help one another. If you live with flatmates or family members, maybe you can find a moment to work together on your separate things? Dad does admin, mom prepares a work presentation, you do your homework and that’s ‘work time’ for everyone?

Divide your tasks. Make clear lists of what you have to do - as detailed as possible (not: shakespeare essay, but: 1. read book, 2. write essay, 2b. introduction and so on) and pay attention to when the stuff is due, either writing it down in agendas or post-its or creating alerts on your phone. Some people also like the square of doom (you know, that ‘important + urgent’, ‘important + non urgent’ thingy).  

Keep track of what you’re doing if you find it helps you. There are good apps for this, or you can use a nice journal or an Excel sheet. Track whatever you want - minutes of study, words learned, tasks accomplished...a favourite of mine is ‘a time logger’, which can track your entire day. When I was in uni, it made me realize I was working a lot more than I thought, and reaching daily goals kept me motivated.

Rethink your internet consumption, especially news, TV shows and social media. Try having periods where you go off-screen whenever you need a break. Stuff like, ‘no TV before 6 pm’ or ‘no tumblr on weekdays’ can automatically make you a lot less stressed and a lot more productive. 

You can also decide to modify the way you engage with these things. For instance, if your studies involve a language, you could watch only TV shows in [language], or turn on [language] subtitles, or you could switch to Buzzfeed [country]. If you like IG, pinterest or tumblr, try having a separate ‘weekday’ account which is about healthy escapism and/or accountability: landscapes and poetry instead of fandom content, or a personal blog about your day - use the right tags and connect with others who’re going through the same thing.    

Imagine you’re teaching someone. I’m guessing you’re passionate about your subject, so turn your study sessions into imaginary conversations. Teaching a lesson (or making a speech) is often the best way to see what you understand, what you need to work on, and what you’re interested in learning more about.

Websites like b-ok can help you find books about your subject (or not) - possibly stuff you’re not actually compelled to read, but which sounds interesting nonetheless. Broaden your horizon, discover different stuff, and sooner or later you’ll find yourself making connections between the exciting stuff you’re basically reading for fun and the actual subject you’re studying.

And: remember why you’re studying this. What are you passionate about? Why did you fall in love with your subject? Why are you studying it? Sometimes we have to endure a few boring classes to get to the good part, and that’s okay.

And finally: visualize the future. The world will get better, and at some point you’ll be glad you’ve spent a few (or many) hard and boring hours getting your degree. What are you going to do after this? Make a ‘future’ board, write a fake Wikipedia article about yourself, give a Nobel or graduation speech, give a pep talk to your (imaginary) future children about the hardships you faced on Zoom and how you overcame them to become the mom they know and love. Whatever works, no matter how ridiculous or narcissistic or far-fetched is a good thing!

I hope this helps! Remember to remain calm and positive, and talk to yourself as if you were talking to a child or a best friend. Less You suck and the world is going to end and more Yes, you didn’t do great today, but we can always do better tomorrow, it’s okay to have an off day! Uni is hard enough under any circumstances, and right now...do your best and resist the bait of dark thoughts: we will get through this, and everything will be alright. It’s how it works.

[tammyhybrid21]

Autism & Neurodivergent Headcanons

TODAY IS A SCREAMING ABOUT AUTISM DAY!

Because apparently it's just the mood, and well, not entirely Autism, but like-- the kind of characters I enjoy. And rule number one is Neurodivergent Coded, in one form or another... Which is mostly Autism, but not always.

So, let's talk about some of the Neurodivergent ICONS I love.

So first, I'm going to go back to my OLDEST, well, okay more like second oldest fandom. With Sonic, specifically Sonic SatAM. And the character who STILL to this DAY defines my taste in characters about 75% of the time.

So, let's talk. This character, I have... no idea how many pages of a sketchbook I have just filled with him. But this is Antoine. D'Coolette in the comics, Depardieu in the cartoon. And he was my first... well, the FIRST character I ever so whole heartedly latched onto. Which is projection and the whole nine yards of that mess. Hell I have old, old OCs who I made into his family and just-- yeah--

So, Antoine, he's the coward of the show, the comic relief and the joke that's picked on. He's also ALWAYS anxious, has special focus and interests and lacks even basic social skills and has issues with vocalizing things properly. Antoine, ticks all the autism flags for me, with additional anxiety. Along with just, massive underdog sense. You need to remember, this was MY CHARACTER, as a kid.

And he still is. I could talk for ages on all the little things that he does that are Autistic or Autistic coded, but that would be a WHOLE other big giant post, and we're not really here for that, but just screaming briefly about Characters I love who're definitely ND

Meanwhile still on Sonic.

LOOK AT THIS ADHD ICON!

Like look! Look! The simple fact is, this is the first truly Nurodivergent ICON form of Sonic we have seen! And I mean that, before and always he was just-- fast. But have you watched the MOVIE?! And okay, there are jokes in the comics and even in the cartoon, but those were always really brief and not enough but Movie Sonic?! Like, this is the baby Sonic! This is definitely ADHD Sonic! This is the TRUE BLUE!

Although I will miss the old school Sonic from SatAM, I will not miss him being rather mean spirited towards my Autism Icon of a character. Which seriously, I have-- many complaints about SatAM on rewatching it as an adult, but one of the biggest is just generally how mean spirited Sonic is... as an aside though, I do still appreciate the series and wish that it got the completion it deserved, and Archie doesn't count.

ALSO BONUS.

Without further comments.

The og ADHD "Sonic". Also Sonic Underground has its charm and place FITE ME!

Soooo, we all know, ALL KNOW! THE GREAT PAPYRUS IS AUTISTIC! But I would also, like to just make some comments in general about Sans. So let's lump the Skelebros together and talk about them. Papyrus is the obvious Autistic Icon! In so, so many ways, and damn it, I also have many, many comments to make on the who is older debate, but number one-- I want to talk about something in regards to Sans.

The general image we all have in the fandom is depression, but I would also like to raise Anxiety. And it's all subtle. But both the brothers are not neurotypical and people can FITE ME! I will counter with examples from the game and even some of the characterizations that you yourselves write people!

Also, on anxiety, we get a very small glimpse, but I think Papyrus has it as well, and that's just sad...

Benjamin Tennyson from his series by the same name. ADHD ICON! Also, the best kid with Aliens on his wrist, but only up to the end of Ultimate Alien and we do NOT talk about the retcons in Omniverse and beyond...

But Ben is not just ADHD, I have a missing half complete rant about Benjamin here and Autism, but I will cite Sumo Slammers as the BIG THING! Like do you know how many episodes of the Original series had him just-- deviating from the plot because THIS IS MY SPECIAL INTEREST! Like, that's big, and even grown up-- and he has routines and places that matter to the HEIGHT OF IMPORTANCE! That might be stupid to a casual observer, but for me. Yep.

Icon!

Also just like, who doesn't want to have aliens at their fingertips, tell me?!

And the whole Uchiha Clan in general. And since this is a topic I've ranted on multiple times, I don't really think I need to talk about it again, just go dig through my Naruto tag, or my Autism one... or both, I don't really care. But this whole clan is one big Autistic Family. Also obvious from this series...

And the Number 1 Knuckleheaded Ninja himself. At least pre-shippuden and early on the boy is the ADHD icon! Actually, honestly, all Uzumaki are-- Again, this isn't something I really need to talk about, but I will complain a LOT about how badly Naruto was handled, and I do have many half finished angry rants about how they lost his empathy and it became so self-centered and just--

This boy annoys me beyond belief due to how it was handled.

For some amusement, I'll be honest-- there is only one member of Mystery Incorporated who I don't think is Neurodivergent, and no-- it's not the dog.

No but seriously. I have-- many, many feelings on this show, most of them really honestly too much for me to honestly put into enough words. But on the whole, one of the big things in NOBODY HERE FEELS TYPICAL! They're all neurodivergent best friends aside one single member, and I have many emotions and feelings, and just-- they're so, so good.

Shaggy definitely has some kind of anxiety, Freddy I have a whole rant somewhere about how he's Autistic, Velma gives off some MASSIVE OCD vibes, particularly when faced with challenges to her boxed world-view and while we could debate that to Autism-- not really... Scooby like Shag, has anxious, but he's also a Great Dane--

And Daphne minds them all!

I will also fight you on Vivi! Of course everyone already knows Arthur and anxiety-- but Vivi is SO Autistic/ADHD herself! Like you don't understand!

AND I CAN AND WILL SCREAM MORE ABOUT THESE TWO AS WELL!

Like! I do not think people yet understand! I am THIS CLOSE to digging more into the movies to see if I can find points for Sara and even Tiffany for being Autistic, but these two are the CLEAR AND OBVIOUS Cases! AND I LOVE THEM! Like, Tadeo took a while to grow on me, he's actions in the sequel are... well... But I do not think I could scream more about how clear these two are as Autistic Icons.

ESPECIALLY MUMMY!

Who's not just Autistic but confirmed as Asexual and nb!

Unfortunately I have a less than happy rant about Tadeo coming up, but right now! Let's just appreciate the sheer Autism this series has on display with not one but two characters the fandom can point out the signs in!

Not Autism surprisingly, but I would like to make an aside here for Héctor! For all I relate and ADORE Héctor! It's not Autism that he flags as. Not at all. I mean we can argue about it, people can have that headcanon, but I am firmly over here like, for all those signs there are some BIG things missing for that to click into place. And I do have a piecemeal rant in the process of being made--

But for now.

Héctor Rivera is the REAL ADHD ICON!

Inattentive ADHD, And he's such a GOOD boy for it as well. Like excuse me?! EXCUSE ME! This Papá may be distracted, impulsive and not exactly good at keeping details in his mind, or responsible with property or establishing boundaries but he's really, really a GOOD icon for ADHD! Also, contrasting--

As an aside as well, Anxiety.

That is all.

Miguel and Victoria though, yeah they're Autistic for sure!

Anyway... this is enough of my screaming, so yeah... just a small glimpse of those Neurodivergent characters I love.

[kingofthewilderwest]

How do u feel about Mabel

I have an unending sense of adoration for what Mabel contributes to Gravity Falls. Technically, Mabel isn’t a favorite of mine – I don’t think of her or relate to her as much as others like Stan, Ford, Dipper, or Fiddleford. However, my appreciation for her is endless.

Gravity Falls couldn’t exist without Mabel. The story’s heart would be crippled. Mabel’s energy and charm provides a unique personality to the show through her unique personality. The show wouldn’t have the same vibe without her ridiculousness! Plus, GF is a story of familial love. And Mabel, as half of the younger Pines twins duo, is essential to giving us the feels of what it means to be in a loving but emotionally complicated family. They couldn’t have picked a better personality to interact with Dipper and Stan for the narrative’s central trio. The combination of Mabel’s vivacity, Stan’s gruffness, and Dipper’s paranoia… is what sells us on this cast. (With Bill, Soos, Wendy, Ford, Pacifica, Gideon, etc. making great additions.)

That’s already enough to celebrate Mabel, but I can’t say this enough: Mabel is the fulfillment of my greatest wish for women characters:

Let women be weird.

The Limited Scope of Female Personalities in Media

All genders get roped into stereotypical personalities in media, but I feel like women especially get reduced. I struggle relating to and loving fictional women… because they feel like the same restrictive subset of personalities I’ve seen reiterated again and again and again and again and again. 

There’s the rude, prissy, popular rich girl. 

There’s that easygoing cool tomboy. 

There’s the hot, edgy, serious, sexy, COOL, highly skilled badass action woman who is the most hardcore of the main cast, hides a sense of internal empathy and compassion, but warms up from her coldness when she meets the main character lead… and then probably goes and kisses him once he, despite being a rookie, magically manages to best her years of hard training.

*ka-sigh*

Even when a fictional woman doesn’t hit something that cringeworthily stereotypical, she still feels… bland. Fictional characters can be enjoyable exaggerations of personality traits – we have the opportunity to create as weird, ridiculous, or diverse of individuals as we possibly can. And yet usually women aren’t written to be as wild or diverse in their personalities as men. The ladies will probably look standardly pretty, act standardly reasonable, act standardly feminine, and make standard choices. Women characters in a cast often feel the least distinct to me. I’m probably not going to find quirks in my ladies or something that sets them apart from the crowd. Let’s be real: media depicts women according to societal expectation. Women in media are reduced to a washed-out, generic fantasy that doesn’t relate anything to how women feel, nor does it try hard to relate to what women feel.

The writing doesn’t understand women. And I can feel it.

When a bland, stale action woman goes on screen in her hot sexy tight pants, is her presentation supposed to be female empowerment (she’s fighting [gasp!])? Or is it another quick, uninspired shortcut without thinking through what her humanity is? “She fights, she’s a ‘good’ female role model, that’s good enough.” Still caters to the male gaze, still caters to male fantasy for what an attractive woman is like, still doesn’t think through her psychology, still presents media’s “desire” for what women “should” be like.

We drastically need to improve how women are written.

You know what my women friends are like? Women are loud and unashamed belchers. Women crack terrible puns about the French Revolution while everyone boos. Women dress up their stuffed animal cats in goggles and a lab coat. Women geek out over how cute worms are. Women want to kill the opposing team in sports competitions. Women eat food off the floor. Women spend sleepovers watching chick flicks and musicals. Women shriek screamo songs at the top of their lungs, getting maybe a third of the lyrics right, racing through the night in their car twenty miles over the speed limit. Women spend thirty five minutes trying to get the perfect selfie because their hair finally fucking cooperated. Women repeatedly text their friends photos of them flipping the bird making derp faces. Women play beer pong until they’re drunk. Women do unnecessarily complicated mathematics calculations to prove their point in fandom. Women stay up all night screaming murder at first person shooter video games. Women play shitty pop song covers on their tubas. Women spend an hour and a half dyeing their hair pink in the sink (and dye the entire bathroom pink in the process). Women debate the finer points of Immanuel Kant with one another. Women demand their friends dish the details when they hear someone has a new significant other. Women binge watch anime eating frozen dinners heated from the microwave while sobbing out their mascara. Women get crushes on Simba or Kovu from The Lion King. Women work out at gyms because they want to get RIPPED. Women. Are. Diverse. And. Delightfully. QUIRKY.

I know I ranted a long time about it, but the point is to show the difference between what women are (personable and peculiar)… versus the stale bread, watered-down crap we get in the movies.

So this. This is why I will never quit raving about Mabel.

Mabel finally lets us see an ACTUAL GIRL as ACTUAL GIRLS act: she’s delightfully, realistically, over-exaggeratedly, charmingly, unforgettably WEIRD.

Instead of trying to write a “girl” first and getting tied up in the tropes and gender biases, Gravity Falls writes a character who happens to be a girl with some girl traits.

What Makes Mabel Different

Instead of writing some standard bland stereotyping “oh this feels vaguely feminine and attractive” excuse-for-a-cardboard-cutout-of-a-woman… Mabel is given real love, real personality, real demonstration of what women are. After all these years of me suffering in theatres thinking, “Oh look, it’s the same uninspired sexy badass action woman stereotype,” I can finally find a character who’s not what media pretends women should be like. I see a character who the writers actually thought about her personality for!

Gravity Falls allows a woman character to do things I almost never see of women characters.

For starters: Mabel’s gross. She finds leftover tacos in the backseat of the car and decides it’s a perfect snack. She sticks her head into a dusty barrel and laughs when caterpillars crawl over her face. She makes fart sounds and laughs at those fart sounds. She lets a statue pick her nose. She shoves food into her mouth voraciously. She’s animated with wild, ridiculous, non-flattering facial expressions. Gravity Falls allows Mabel to be gross.

This is already amazing to me. Cartoons are a little better than live action movies, where the latter can’t let a woman look imperfect when she’s crying or fighting villains. But cartoons often have limitations for how women are shown, too. It’s refreshing to see a girl who is gross.

And I don’t know about you, but I’d be hard-pressed to name even three other contemporary Western women characters who’re allowed to be girly AND gross. Mabel Pines. Princess Fiona. The list ends there for me? Sometimes I’ll see girls in media dressed with “unruly” appearances – their hair is SLIGHTLY frazzled and they wear glasses (gasp) – but that’s not real grossness, and it’s especially not grossness combined with girliness.

Gravity Falls isn’t afraid to make Mabel both gross and “girly”, and that’s special.

Next, Mabel’s girliness feels authentic. By “girliness” I mean Mabel taking actions according to Western societal gender norms for ciswomen. I don’t mean that’s how girls have to innately be. I hate the idea that people “should” behave according to gender roles and encourage us all to express our individuality. Anyway. Yes, most women in media have girliness to them… but nothing prepared me to seeing a twelve year old girl act like the twelve year old girls I knew.

Mabel loves bright colors, rainbows, unicorns, cute boys, formal dances, boy bands, and looking cute. These are girly traits and girly interests. But the way they show Mabel, Candy, and Grenda bonding over boy talk at a sleepover? That ridiculous, unrestrained screaming, combined with the mischievous grins, is exactly the sort of stuff I grew up with. It’s not just “oh we wrote a girl who likes pink and makeup who gets catty about crushes” – it’s “oh, we wrote a girl who enjoys her girly side like a twelve year old would!”

Gravity Falls allows Mabel to live according to some elements of the gender norm. The show doesn’t tote the idea that people live without gender influence, that people live in a vacuum of culture. It shows people in society often live by some pattern of gender roles. But, the show doesn’t make Mabel be that norm or preach she should be that norm. Honestly, I don’t see many shows try to strike this balance: willing to give characters gender role interests, while still respecting that everyone is unique and doesn’t need to live by those roles. Either the shows completely drop gender roles (which can be refreshing and help us overcome our biases) or they stick too close to assumptions that your gender = your brain, which is backwards thinking.

GF doesn’t lazily pin a character with girly traits because “that’s what women are.” It doesn’t stop at some assumptive “She wears pretty boots.” It understands Mabel’s psychology, lets her express that girliness unrestrained, provides her screen time to live this (!!! screen time to girl time in an all-gender-demographic-show!!!), and allows her to intersect that girliness with her grossness and her weirdness.

Next, Mabel is allowed to be confident and bold. Society isn’t good with women being bold and outspoken yet. Women often get criticized for being bossy, bitchy, obnoxious, etc. when they speak their minds and act with the confidence that men are “allowed” to have in their daily lives. And yet Mabel can be an outspoken and unrestrained character.

It works well for her age, too! 

Last, Mabel is weird. Mabel has quirks. I’ve said this three hundred times and I’ll say it three hundred more, but Mabel being weird is a delight. It’s not often that women are allowed to be the ridiculous comedic side in children’s / family animation. (Yay Ruffnut for also fulfilling this role.) 

Mabel is unrestricted, allowed to be a wild dork on screen. She’ll eat tubes of toothpaste because they’re sparkly, make “Mabel juice” with plastic dinosaurs in the pitchers, dress pigs in costume, knit scratch-and-sniff sweaters, slap stickers on her uncle’s nose, scream for a minute straight before coughing up glitter, dream up the centaurtaur, and more. 

But it’s not just that. It’s her mindset. Mabel’s excitement for things – down to an eight legged cow having “more limbs for hugging” – is a perspective I essentially never see in stories. She’s got a way of looking at the world like no one else I know. It’s a wild, bizarre perspective… but that’s what makes her so good and human. 

Mabel has a “What the heck?” vibe from her, whether it’s her interests, her thought processes, or her choices.

And frankly, that’s so much more relatable, personable, and beautiful to me… than almost any other woman I see on screen in media. When I see Mabel, I can remember what I was like as a kid.

Although I’m non-binary, I didn’t grow up knowing about non-cis gender. I grew up more or less thinking of myself as a little girl. Many of my childhood experiences were with little girls. So, when I look at old photographs of myself, I see someone with unrestrained energy, joy, and weirdness - just like Mabel.

That is what kids are like, guys! That is what kids are like!

Not this weird restricted stereotype on television I see! But THIS.

So yeah. 

Even just from the topic “What does Mabel bring to women’s representation in media,” Mabel is a shooting star. She’s a success. I love it. It’s freeing, exciting, and refreshing to me, being able to see a woman character given this loving treatment. I’m passionate about women being represented well in media, and not in the sense of falsely-portrayed empowerment. Mabel is the glorious three-dimensional, unique, bizarre, memorable type of girl I want!

She’s worth celebrating for all her personality traits, too: her creativity, her energy, her lightheartedness, her love for her family. But that’s content for another essay.

In short: bless Mabel Pines. Bless, bless, bless Mabel Pines.

This is a damn great character.

[raywritesthings]

Dog’s Best Friend 2/6

My Writing Fandom: Harry Potter Characters: Rubeus Hagrid, Sirius Black Summary: When Rubeus Hagrid is placed in the cell next to notorious murderer Sirius Black, truths are revealed and events are changed. *Can be read on my AO3 or FFN, links are in bio*

It had been a long time since Sirius had had company down here.

The truth was, he preferred it that way. No one around meant the more time he could spend in his Padfoot form, which helped dampen the effects of the Dementors in the moment. Even now, just standing here staring at his new dorm mate of sorts, he thought he could start to hear it…

“Lily and James! Sirius, how could you?”

Sirius gave an irritated shake of the head, trying to rid himself of the traitor’s voice. Across from him, Hagrid stepped back, fear and anger in his eyes.

“They can’ have placed me with yeh!”

“Don’t take it personally, Hagrid. You wouldn’t be in good company anywhere in this place.”

“Don’ yeh talk ter me.” Hagrid glared at him and nodded to the far wall with his head. “Go back an’ skulk in yer corner where yeh belong.” The giant man marched over to his own far corner and sat with his back to Sirius. He should have expected as much.

Sirius sighed but did retreat as asked. Of course Hagrid would hate him, thinking he had done what Peter claimed. He might still hate Sirius even if he knew the truth, because Lily and James and those innocent Muggles were all still dead over his mistakes regardless.

As if the Dementors had sensed both their dark moods, a guard glided down the steps towards the cells. Sirius did shrink back in his corner as Hagrid had requested, though more out of self-preservation than consideration.

He could hear Hagrid’s whimpers still, and it both grounded him in reality and frightened him, because as open as the Hogwarts gamekeeper had always been with his emotions, Sirius had never heard him sound abjectly afraid as that.

What was he doing in this miserable place? What crime had the Wizarding World decided to falsely ascribe to one of their own once again? He knew, of course, that his asking wouldn’t be welcomed.

Over the next few days, Hagrid grew worse. He moaned and mumbled in his sleep, sometimes words that sounded like Giant more than English. Sirius picked up a couple patterns, though.

“It wasn’ Aragog, Tom, yeh’ve got it all wrong!”

“Jus’ a little more water, dad… yeh need ter keep yer strength… please, dad…”

“I’ll miss yeh, Norbert. Yeh’ll be happier out in Romania, but- but yeh’ll always have a home here!”

These weren’t the murmurings of a hardened criminal. Any doubt Sirius might have had was cleared away, and he crept over to the bars between their cells.

“You’re innocent, Hagrid. Remember that. Hang onto it like it’s all you’ve got. You’re innocent.”

He could see the haze of misery and torment slowly leave Hagrid’s face as his words sunk in. His breathing grew less labored.

“You’re innocent,” Sirius repeated.

“Blimey,” Hagrid croaked weakly. He crawled over to the dish of somehow stale water that was refilled for each prisoner once a day. When he drank his fill — and Sirius was sure it wasn’t nearly enough for a man his size — he turned his dark eyes on Sirius with suspicion. “How’d yeh know that works?”

“Because it’s how I’ve retained my sanity here,” Sirius said, refusing to bow under Hagrid’s glare.

“Think yer innocent, do yeh?” He growled.

“Of murder? Yes. Of James and Lily’s deaths? No. I am to blame, Hagrid, because it was my plan that led Voldemort—”

Hagrid jumped. “Gulping Gorgons! He let yeh say his name?”

“He didn’t let me do anything. It will be a cold day in Hell before I ever obey Voldemort’s orders.” Hagrid still jumped, but refrained from saying anything. 

Elsewhere in the prison, the inmates were stirring. Perhaps they could sense their dear master’s name being uttered, for it was some of the most crazed whose voices echoed through the stone corridors.

“Curse the traitor! Curse him to ashes!”

“The Dark Lord, he will return for us!”

“If the double-crosser lived, I’d wring his neck like the Muggles! Filth!”

He could see Hagrid eyeing the steps that led up to those higher levels with fear.

“Who’re they talkin’ about?”

“The traitor in the Order. The one who ruined everything that Halloween night, for Voldemort and for me.” Sirius sighed. “Which is why I should have remained the Secret Keeper.”

“Thought yeh were their Secret Keeper.”

“That’s what we told everyone. That was our plan, to use me as a decoy. We thought we were so clever.” He huffed something like a laugh, but it came out weak and brittle. “Peter was the real Secret Keeper.”

“Peter Pettigrew? But yeh killed him,” Hagrid said as though he thought Sirius might have forgotten.

“I wish I had. That was the only thing I could think of once I let you take Harry. Revenge. The rat was counting on it, too. That’s how he lured me out in front of all those Muggles to shout that I had done it before cutting off his finger and blasting the rest of the street apart.”

“But then where’d he go?”

“Down the sewer, I expect. It’s where he belongs,” Sirius said with derision.

“Codswallop,” Hagrid said, leaning away again. “No sense Apparatin’ into a sewer.”

“He wouldn’t have Apparated. He’s got a much better way of disappearing.”

“Oh?”

Sirius eyed the large man. Hagrid was difficult to persuade, but once he was decided would be a friend for life. With no way of knowing how long he’d have to share this section of the prison with him, Sirius didn’t think he wanted to endure the hatred forever. And as long as Hagrid distrusted him, he wouldn’t be able to transform, one of the few creature comforts he had here.

He could have left Hagrid to the madness, of course. Waited till the place drained him of his sense of reality and then just let him believe he was seeing a Grim curled up in the corner. But it wouldn’t have been right.

“What I’m about to tell you has only ever been known by five people. Two of them are dead, and one presumed to be. Do you want to hear it?”

He watched and waited as Hagrid thought it over, both hoping and dreading that he might say yes. There would be no going back once he did.

---

Rubeus didn’t know whether it was the madness they said that set in here or something else, but the more that he thought over the things Black was saying, the more they started to make sense. More sense than what had happened, at least.

Why would the Potters have told the Order who their Secret Keeper was if they’d all known there might be a spy? James and Lily had been a clever pair; they wouldn’t have risked it.

Black was willing to say his own supposed Dark Lord’s name. Even Professor Snape up at the school never dared do that, and Professor Dumbledore vouched for his dedication to the light side personally.

Though if Black claimed he hadn’t been the one to blow up the street, why hadn’t they checked his wand? Why had none of this come up at the trial? Except, come to think of it, Rubeus couldn’t remember anything about a trial in the first place.

Surely there’d been one? Yet there’d been none for Rubeus himself either of the times he’d been accused of this Heir of Slytherin business. It wasn’t impossible that they’d chucked Black into Azkaban the same way they had him.

“Well, yeh can’t promise to tell someone somethin’ an’ not tell ‘em,” he said eventually.

Something flickered in Black’s eyes, like a little light sputtering briefly to life. “Alright. This is how Peter would have gotten away.”

He moved back onto his haunches and fluidly shifted form, fur sprouting from his arms, legs and face as his nose lengthened out into a snout and his ears stood straight up. Rubeus’ mouth dropped.

“Yeh- yer an Animagus!”

The great black dog stood in the next cell watching him. A different sort of fellow than Fang and far less healthy at that. Rubeus could easily count each of the animal’s ribs beneath the dirty fur. He padded forward, meeting him there as Rubeus only then noted he’d reached a hand out. Black allowed him to pat the top of his head once before sitting back, tail wagging twice before stilling.

“But yeh’ve got ter be illegal.”

The dog gave a nod before Black was suddenly sitting back in his place. “We all were. James, Peter and I. We taught ourselves the transformation in school, to keep Remus company in the Shack.”

Rubeus wondered at that for a moment. Three students mastering that kind of Transfiguration work, and under Professor McGonagall’s watch at that! All to help their friend, poor Remus Lupin.

“An’ yeh think Peter survived ‘cause of his bein’ an Animagus?”

“He could have easily slipped away. His form should have really been quite telling to us. He was a rat.”

Rubeus frowned. He personally believed rats, like many creatures, had an unfair reputation amongst humans, wizards and Muggles alike. But he’d read enough about Animaguses in the Hogwarts library to know that the form they took often spoke of some part of their true nature. As a symbol, the rat was clear.

And so was the dog. Loyalty, companionship.

He’d been so dismayed when the story had come out about Sirius betraying the Potters all those years ago. It had seemed unthinkable. Had that really been because it was unthinkable?

He retreated back to the far side of his cell for a time, needing to think some things over. If Sirius had been out for revenge after You-Know-Who’s fall, he wouldn’t have given little Harry up, would he have? He would have killed him. And with no trial, they never really had proved his guilt. Just like Rubeus.

The occasional rantings of the Death Eaters in their cells about the traitor filtered down to his ears. “Pettigrew! I’ll rip his sorry excuse for a spine out of his throat!” A frightening cackle followed that particular declaration from who Rubeus knew in his bones was Bellatrix Lestrange. The knowledge that he was laying only a few floors below You-Know-Who’s right-hand woman filled him with dread. But she would know better than anyone, wouldn’t she?

One night, after the Dementors finally drifted past their cells, Rubeus locked eyes with Sirius. The man responsible for him even still having his wits about him. “I believe yeh.”

Something almost like a smile twisted the thin lips in his waxen face.

Azkaban Prison, while by no means less miserable, became a far less lonely place now that he’d realized he had a friend to rely on.

Sirius knew the schedule of the Dementors like clockwork. He knew when food would be coming, and he even knew how many days Rubeus had been here. It helped to remind him he had had a life outside of here once. They both had.

He never asked about Harry, and that bothered Rubeus until he realized why. The few times he thought about those kids, the Dementors would swoop in, sensing the fond memories. They hungered for them. So soon, Rubeus did his best not to think about Harry, Ron or Hermione either, except when he worried about them.

The days went on, and no word or visits from Professor Dumbledore sank his spirits. Was he really so busy, or was it his dislike for Azkaban keeping him away? He knew the Headmaster believed in his innocence, unlike with Sirius. But if Professor Dumbledore would only come to see him, Rubeus could help to explain all of that, too.

He told Sirius all about the Chamber, how he had been blamed fifty years ago and gotten expelled, and how Minister Fudge had gotten the papers together to have him sent here now that people were being petrified again.

“Forgive me if this is blunt, but Hagrid… you’re half-giant, yes?”

Rubeus frowned. “An’ if I am?”

“It seems ridiculous to me that you would care anything at all about petrifying muggleborns, then.” Sirius leaned his head back and arched an eyebrow. “Particularly when purebloods are the ones who have given the giants such trouble over the years.”

Rubeus shrugged helplessly. “Don’ like drawin’ attention to it. Makes things more difficult for me.”

“Yes, I suppose it would.” Sirius lapsed into silence then, and Rubeus allowed it. They could go days sometimes just saying nothing, each of them wondering how long this might go on.

Once in a while, Rubeus thought of a question.

“Why don’ yeh just slip the bars an’ leave here one o’ these days? Yer thin enough in yer Animagus form.”

“And go where? I couldn’t see Harry, couldn’t check on anyone from the old days. I’d be hunted down until I was recaptured for the Dementor’s Kiss.” They both shuddered.

Tom’s voice still came now and then when the Dementors were near. His dad’s feeble gasps of breath, too. But they were never as intense as those first few days, now that he had the mantra of innocent, innocent drilled into his head.

Sirius visited him in his cell in his dog form often, for which he was grateful. In that stage between sleeping and waking, he could pretend it was Fang’s head resting on his leg back home in his hut.

And that’s when the idea came to him. “Yeh do have somewhere ter go. With me!”

The great black dog looked up at him, blinking in a way that clearly said he thought Rubeus had cracked again.

“Soon as the real Heir goes back ter terrorizin’ the school, they’ll have ter see they were wrong abou’ me,” Rubeus reasoned. “They’ll have ter let me out. And when they do, I’ll be goin’ back ter Hogwarts.” He sat up straighter in his excitement as the plan started to fall into place in his head. “Yeh wait a few days, slip out o’ here and swim ter shore. I’ll meet yeh, and say a friend o’ mine gifted me a new dog fer all the trouble I’ve had lately. Then yeh can stay at Hogwarts with no one the wiser!”

The dog stood up and changed back into Sirius. “That’s not a bad thought. You’re sure Dumbledore won’t want to know where I’ve come from?”

Rubeus waved a hand. “Never asked before. Respects me privacy, he does. He’s a great man, no matter what Lucius Malfoy an’ his ilk have to say.”

“This is all assuming you ever get out of here, mind,” Sirius pointed out, and he felt his excitement drain as quickly as if a Dementor had just glided into the space. Sirius transformed again and returned to his own cell, curling up on the floor.

It had been nearly two months. Was he really going to be here the rest of his days?

[commanderatherfuck]

Have you ever licked a lamppost in winter?

*sips hard liquor from a “World’s Best Fandom” coffee mug*

Yes, you got it right, this is happening. Get comfortable there, in today’s episode we’re going to bust one of the most popular myths among cullenmancers of all time:

“Cullen can't be a virgin in DAI because he's hot, confident and 30”.

First of all, I’d like to point out that I’m very reluctant to the notorious image of DAI Cullen as a "chantry boy", which basically means the face of DAI Cullen slapped on the DAO Alistair character. As ironic as it may seem the main accomplishment of forcing this image was a creation of strong belief within the fandom that the virgin!cullen headcanon is something utterly AU-ish, existing only in the minds of those who’re into virginity kink. I’m going to give you another perspective on this popular viewpoint.

The most common argument in defense of nonvirgin!cullen position sounds like:

“Cullen doesn’t act like a virgin in DAI”

I have two problems with this statement. First one is that this argument traditionally comes along with a comparison between DAI Cullen and DAO Alistair. The logical structure looks like: “Alistair was an awkward virgin in DAO. Cullen’s behavior in DAI is nothing alike. Therefore Cullen is not a virgin in DAI”. The mistake here is that Alistair’s behavior in DAO doesn’t define the behavior of every virgin in the world, not mentioning the fact that comparison between DAO Alistair and DAI Cullen is completely inappropriate. Don’t you think that it’s a little bit strange to expect the exact same behavior from a young and innocent boy and adult worn and torn guy just because both of them don’t have sexual experience?

The second problem I have is getting the “doesn’t act like a virgin” part. It sounds almost like there's some unified pattern of virgins' behavior when obviously there's none. The stereotype of a shy awkward virgin, incapable of saying two words without stuttering, is a powerful one but it is still a stereotype. Very blunt too, so it’s really surprising for me to see how many people are eager to fall for it. And just like any other stereotype, this one cannot be applied to everyone and certainly not to Cullen as a matter of fact. Cullen does act confident in DAI and the main reason for it is that he is mature first and foremost.

The lack of experience in sex alone doesn't nullify the general maturity.

I really don't know how to stress this enough. This is arguably the most bugging thing about the whole (non)virgin!cullen drama for me and the very reason why I decided to create this post. Cullen is confident because he's a mature, grown-ass man who's gone through ugly shit more than once and survived. He won't act like Alistair even if he is a virgin. It just doesn't work like this, okay? He's a mature adult, Alistair is a young innocent boy. And it has nothing to do with sexual experience. The concept of maturity is a little more complex than just the fact of having or not having sex in life. It's possible to be an irresponsible child with rich sexual life and a fully responsible adult without any sexual experience at all.

Lack of sexual experience is not equal innocence and Cullen is by no means innocent.

He's seen some shit, he's done some shit. Cullen has stable, fully developed personality, he mastered himself and earned his maturity hard way and that's exactly where his confidence comes from. Lack or existence of sex in his life is completely irrelevant for it.

Just to be perfectly clear: Cullen's confidence comes from his maturity, but his maturity doesn't come from lack or existence of sexual experience in his life.

________________________________________________________________

Now when we cleared this up let’s figure out why virgin!cullen headcanon is at least equal to nonvirgin!cullen and why you don’t have to be an adept of “virginity cult” to embrace it.

The main reason why Cullen can be a virgin in DAI lies in his tremendously traumatized background.

@aurianavaloria has a wonderful lore-friendly character research on the matter, so I strongly recommend to read it to be able to get the whole picture.

I have a serious problem with how lightly fandom treats serious topics such as PTSD and mental trauma in Cullen's biography. I've seen way too many people among both fans and haters who either ignore the Kinloch incident completely or perceive it like some small unfortunate event while it was actually a milestone in Cullen's personality formation. Just think about it - young innocent pup who'd never seen abominations or even death before had gone through horrific shit: loads of gruesome deaths of friends and people he was supposed to protect, severe mental and physical tortures and possibly even rape. And right after that instead of long and proper treatment, he got straight into hands of charismatic zealot who gave him some sort of crooked sympathy, nurturing his fears and hatred.

This kind of trauma is not something that can be overcome fast and easily and it certainly had a major impact on Cullen's personality development.

I’ve seen more than once the argument that:

“10 years is a long period of time, long enough to get over with PTSD. I can’t believe he didn’t have any action during that time, not necessarily something serious, but you know, just regular banging”.

Well, let me tell you one thing – one of the worst aspects of having PTSD is that side effects linger for a ridiculously long time, some never go away even if the person recovering in peace, surrounded by family and loved ones. Cullen didn’t have the luxury of recovering, he was forced to face his fears on the regular basis. The only thing that kept him sane was faith, in Maker and in the Order, represented by ‘”supportive” Knight-Commander. To think, his relationship with Meredith was a true deal with the devil. She showed him some kind of sympathy as she had the similar experience in her lifetime, and, what’s more important, showed him that there’s another path to prevent any further pain. The proper treatment he truly needed after events of the Broken Circle was replaced by the false purpose, based on fear and fanatical devotion to the duty and the Order. It did work but in a rather distorted way. Cullen’s recovery was like an improperly healed leg bone – painful, unstable, with lingering side effects, but at least he still could have been able to stand. And that’s exactly why I find it difficult to blame him for the notorious “magesarenotpeople” drama. It’s way too easy to brand him a villain in DAII, however, all I see there is a young broken person, clinging for the shards of sanity and trying to find the strength to go on after the severe trauma wherever he can, even in the blind zealotry. Was it a wrong way to go? Absolutely. Do I have a moral right to blame him for it? Not even close.  

So, long story short, 10 years totally may be not long enough to overcome PTSD, especially under the circumstances of constant stress and fear. The things are even more complicated if there was a sexual assault of any form during the Broken Circle. Sex and PTSD is a whole different topic for another day, let’s just say that impacts of a mental trauma can make sexual life really tricky. That makes the “regular banging” part quite dubious, not mentioning that casual sex is not for everyone to begin with. Some people do it lightly, some people don’t do it at all, either way is absolutely normal for any gender. Whether Cullen is the “regular banging” type or not and how badly PTSD affected his post-Fereldan sexual life is up to one’s headcanons. Personally, I’ve seen no evidence during the series that allow to affirm that Cullen divides concepts “sex” and “sex in the relationship”. The main problem for me is that one needs to treat casual sex lightly to perform it, and Cullen’s attitude towards pretty much everything is anything but light. Almost everyone who ever speaks of him during the game mentions at some point that he’s very serious, if not uptight. Hell, even Quis herself can tell him during the wedding cutscene “Always so serious”. This image doesn’t really get along well with the concept of casual fucking in my mind. But this is just my take on the character anyway.

Of course, all of this above doesn't prove that Cullen is necessarily a virgin in the Inquisition but it does prove that he has every reason to be one. According to WOT Cullen's attitude during Kirkwall period was cold towards both mages and templars, he didn't want to let anyone in and had a damn good reason for it.

There's a very high possibility that Cullen could have chosen to close himself from any kind of close social interactions (sexual ones like casual banging included) to prevent any further pain after traumatic events of the past and there's nothing strange or wrong about that.

________________________________________________________________

For the record, I do recognize the power of headcanons and totally respect them. I have zero problems with the fact that some people don’t see Cullen as a virgin in DAI. That’s how headcanons work and I’m more than cool with it. What gives me cringe however is the fact that some people claim that Cullen can’t be a virgin in DAI just because it’s not “normal” for a 30 yo handsome man to be one. This is arguably the most toxic argument in defense of nonvirgin!cullen position ever. I won’t torment you with off-topic *virginity is a social concept* rant, instead of that I’ll just say that the modern world's concept of a 'normal guy' may not work in Thedas. I strongly doubt that the social pattern of a "normal man" who should lose his virginity in between his early teens and mid-20s is fully acceptable for Thedas. The society with the ultimate power of the religious organization is very likely to be less reluctant to the idea of adult virginity than the modern one. Chantry is presumed to have its members, templars included, virtuous. It's not required, yes, templars can marry and sex is not totally tabooed for people who serve the Chantry but apparently, physical temperance is a thing for andrastian religion (remember Alistair's memories of his Templar days or Sebastian's celibacy) and not considered as a deviation. My general point here is that meeting an adult virgin man in Thedas is more frequent occurrence and more acceptable social concept than it is in the modern world.

Speaking of Cullen in particular, the man can be a virgin in DAI because of his traumatized background, PTSD, and following lifestyle choices. Considering all that, you can see that the virgin!cullen headcanon has a bit more solid backup than just “cult of virginity” or “first-time-big-deal kink” and that’s exactly what makes the whole thing totally plausible. And yes, it is plausible.

The writer deliberately left the virgin/nonvirgin thing ambiguous and did a pretty good job with that I dare say. Every romance related scene with Cullen can be read either way. There’s not a single scene in the game that can categorically prove that Cullen is/isn’t a virgin.

O RLY? :

“Cullen laughed at Bull's dick joke - HALF-LIFE 3 NONVIRGINITY CONFIRMED”

Um, no? The only thing confirmed in this scene is that Cullen finds the joke amusing and that he actually has a sense of humor hidden deep underneath his usual polite cold attitude. Let's just assume he is a virgin in this scene. So why wouldn't he laugh? Because he's not able to get sexual context without actual experience? I don't think it works that way, getting jokes is about intelligence and sense of humor, you don't need to have the exact same experience mentioned in the joke to find it funny. Besides, look at Cullen's attitude in this scene again, it's not all that confident "good one, bro". He definitely feels uncomfortable, even more uncomfortable than Josie a.k.a. Ultimate Disney Princess, so this scene definitely doesn't seem like a solid proof of Cullen's sexual experience existence.

Yeah, that’s all good, BUT :

“He said that there’s nothing wrong with having a bit of fun – it proves that he is experienced!”

Once again, Cullen is an adult in Inquisition. He is aware of sexual intercourse existence and won’t faint or something just because he witnessed its aftermath. If he is still a virgin it’s not because he’s a prude or reluctant to the very idea of sex, but because of deep personal problems, caused by traumatic past. “Nothing wrong with having a bit of fun” can be a simple display of “live and let live” principle. For example, an asexual person can tell you “doing hardcore sex is totally ok if you’re happy with it”. Same idea here.

Bitch, please:

"Two words: Desk. Sex. Alistair is inexperienced. Cullen’s got moves. Fight me" “It’s not something a virgin would do” ”This is not the action of a virgin” “DESK SCENE”

Ok, we finally made it to the juiciest part of this episode. What could I possibly say against the almighty Desk Scene, the bastion of Commander’s Sexual Experience? Well, wonder no more – the answer is “conversation before it”. The paradox is – if Cullen’s pre-sex conversation would have been identical to Alistair’s I’d agree with y’all – the man is by no means a virgin. The guy tells the woman he loves how much he cares and asks her to spend a night with him here and now. After she says “yes” the guy fucks her mindlessly on the table. Very hot and yep, there’s definitely some experience right there. But it’s not what happened at all. Just rewatch the scene once again.

*video captured by Geek Remix

You do see the difference, right? He’s not asking to spend a night with him, he’s asking to spend a life with him.

He’s really tensed and frustrated all along, hesitating to ask the woman he loves to share a future with him because it seems «too much to ask». It’s a real commitment for him – to open up to someone first time in a very long time. He feels extremely vulnerable at this point and probably makes one of the hardest personal choices ever. He’s not even sure how to formulate his question because he’s afraid that he’s asking too much of her. And then she simply turns him towards her with the gentle “Cullen, do you need to ask?” as if she’s already made the decision he found difficult even to express.

Do you see how important for him this scene is? It’s not just “I totally want you here and now” moment, it’s “I totally love you and want you here and now” moment. The scene is hands down hot, but there’s so much more in it than just a simple steamy moment between two lovers. In fact, the sex itself is secondary in this scene, it’s more about feelings, acceptance and trust. What’s happening here is the guy who doesn’t consider himself as a good person asking the woman he deeply cares about to accept him with all his shit he’s constantly kicking himself for and become the part of his life. And she does. Unconditionally. The significance of this conversation for Cullen is so much greater than just “we’ll bang, ok?”, it means the end of the whole phase of his life, it means that he actually managed to get over with bitterness and chosen solitude after Kinloch, it means that he finally got a chance to live for himself with the person he loves by his side.

Mention that he didn’t start to rip her clothes off right after this realization, he’s still somewhat hesitant, the fists are clenched,“I suppose not. I want­­­­-”. Notice this little concerned pause after Quis knocks the bottle off his desk and then this one big “Fuck it” moment happens. Like all the pieces are suddenly fit - he trusts her, he loves her, he wants her, so no more doubts. The following *sweeping shit off the desk and expressing overwhelming feelings on top of the closest available surface* episode is an act of pure passion, fueled by strong feelings, that kind of passion when nothing except the person you truly want at this very moment matters, neither place nor past sexual experiences. And that’s why it’s completely irrelevant whether Cullen was a virgin prior to this scene or not.

[mild-lunacy]

Toward a Taxonomy of the Antis

You know, maybe it should be obvious, but one of the main reasons fandom always ultimately disenchanted me is at least partly because of the *reasons* some people are fans. Or, perhaps I should say, we use 'fan' as a catchall term when there are actually many models and reasons for engagement. It's not as simple as 'fan' and 'anti', but I do think that many times, the type of fan who becomes an anti was always a separate type. One thing that made me think of this is an anti actually outright saying they were only into the Throne of Glass books because of the hype around them. A lot of people say they used to be 'naive' or young, but not usually admitting they weren't really into the story on any genuine level in the first place.

Of course, saying 'genuine' risks fan policing terminology and wank about what's a 'true fan' or not, which isn't where I'm going. I just want to differentiate someone enjoying a TV or book series (like Throne of Glass) due to spontaneously loving the characters or setting, and loving it essentially because other people love it. One is much more likely to last and prove resilient than the other. If you like the 'fan' part of fandom, then as soon as the fire cools-- or other people start getting disillusioned at some kind of tipping point-- inevitably you'll become drawn into the anti mindset. Just like being drawn into the fan mindset in the first place. The only thing that's different is the direction. It's still all about external judgment that ultimately has nothing to do with the story or characters.

I'm not saying that method of engagement isn't valid. In my mind, anything that naturally arises, sociologically speaking, simply *is*. There's no 'valid' or 'invalid' ways of social organization (or writing, for that matter). In fact, it's that mindset that is my biggest difference from the antis. Your average fan may just get bored and unable to finish watching or reading new installments if their interest was social, or limited in the first place. But a few develop a critical interest, usually if other people hate the writer(s) too. Note that modern antis very rarely (if ever) march to the beat of their own drummer. People rarely quietly post anti rants online for their own benefit, disconnected from the relevant fandom, at least not for long. However, longtime lone fans certainly do exist (as I can personally verify).

Aside from this anecdotal impression, I don't think it's a coincidence that most antis these days make primarily social and/or social justice critiques. At the very least, the kind of fan who'd gotten into the Throne of Glass books due to the hype is likely also sensitive to the newest social pressures and mores of behavior. It's not that I fundamentally disagree about the benefits of representation, for example. However, the sort of person who strongly condemns a writer for writing a male character who simply behaves realistically (and amusingly) when suddenly transported into a female body is not primarily concerned with the larger issues of transgender rights and representation, per se. When a critique is not at all reasonable, or connected to the reality of the characters and their situation, the apparent conclusion is that the justification given is just an excuse for the negative bias. The reason there needs to be an excuse is because antis are a community, and their whole point is to share salty thoughts. Everyone can agree that transphobia is bad (who's a Millennial or younger and in fandom, at least), and so that's one of the easiest things to condemn. And as an anti, you have to condemn.

I don't think people purposely come up with things they don't actually feel or believe, by any means. I'm sure any negative (or positive) reaction is almost always genuine. But I also think that for someone vulnerable to hype, their genuine emotional response is itself likely to be fundamentally socially based. That is, you would feel what other people feel. You would genuinely care about those things, but you would care about them without any real introspection to make sure things make sense or are 'fair' to the characters or the writer in the rational sense. Fairness is a much more internal measure than the groupthink (or really, groupfeel) that drives both online hype and witch hunts. I'd go out on a limb and say without the interest in enforcement of the social norms, these people would just be bored rather than outraged.

This explains why antis almost never read the text closely, or outright make up stuff that isn't there. There are people who are primarily critical *and* pay attention, but I hesitate to call those people 'antis'. As I said, it's not a simple dichotomy. I've had good friends and good online discussions with people who're both critical and analytical. In fact, many highly analytical people tend to critical of pretty much everything they love. The motivation here is different, but the effect is also. One of the main hallmarks of antis is really social justice ranting rather than rational critique that may include elements of social justice. One group is focused on studying the text, and the other just likes to sound off. And of course, there's the average online fan, whose mode of engagement is characterized primarily through shipping, crack and/or memes. Antis may have some interest in shipping, but it usually rings false, as they find any excuse to find an unlikely fanon ship and then slam the story for sinking it. Like, usually antis complain about the lack of central queer ships, but in The Raven Cycle, the one that existed wasn't enough. After all, it wasn't the random obscure ship they came up with.

Anyway, I feel somewhat better about this now, because I do take some of their points to heart and let it bother me even if I shouldn't. I'm vulnerable because I'm a mix of the analytical and squee-minded fan, and antis like to masquerade their rants as analysis, even though they actually care as little about analysis as they do about canon. The squeeing shippers can (and do) just dismiss or resent the antis without a care. I end up trying to see if their arguments make sense, and inevitably get irritated when they don't. It especially messes with my mind when they start on about shipping, as I said. Not like ships are supposed to make sense, per se, but they feel free to blast canon het ships for not being believable or developed properly, which is a fair mode of critique. However, the preferred slash ship is generally more nonsensical by far, but it's absolutely immune from critique because it's gay. And we all know being gay is all that matters, riiiiiight up until the point that it becomes canon. Then it's not good enough, by definition. Alas.

[denimwrites-archive]

Getting Into Character

Prompt: I got the idea for this when I read @watch-the-whole-world-disappear ‘s headcanons for glasses wearing Evan and their idea of a partially blind club between Evan, the reader, and Jared (with Alana and Connor [I’m totally here for glasses!Connor])

Fandom: Dear Evan Hansen

Pairing: Jared Kleinman X Reader w/ Glasses

Summary: You and the Partially-Blind Squad go with Jared to pick out some new frames and you two joke around as he contemplates which pair will make him into the best meme.

Word Count: 1,396

Warnings: None? Maybe language?

A/N: I hope I did alright with this? I’m not really used to writing so many characters at once, but hopefully it made sense? (Also I didn’t explicitly have Jared and the Reader be dating, it could be read as platonic or not, it’s really just like hanging out idk)

Links to the Glasses Mentioned:

Harry Potter       Hipster       Old Man/70s       Alana Copy       Thick Bih Roland

Glasses Jared Actually Gets 

~~~

Alana was in the front seat, driving everyone to the mall. Jared was in the passenger seat, going on about some conspiracy he read about online. Connor, who was sitting next to you on the hump in the backseat, was trying to dispute it with a different theory he had heard of. You were rolling your eyes at them, and Evan was just looking at them amusedly.

Jared had an eye doctor appointment today, and you were all going to help him pick out frames after he was done. When you finally got to the mall, you dropped Jared off at his eye doctor before splitting up. Alana going to Bath and Body Works, Connor to Hot Topic, and you and Evan heading to just walk around Target.

As you all did your own thing, Jared was going through the routine examination with the letters and repeating 1’s and 2’s. He tried to crack a few jokes, but the doctor apparently had no humor-us bone in his body. After he finally got out of the office and texted everybody he was done. You made your way back to the glasses store and Jared was waving his prescription at you.

“I’m more blind than I was the last time, but I know I can get through it with the help of my supportive friends,” he said, pretending to get emotional.

“Just shut up and pick out a pair of frames, Kleinman,” Connor replied.

“See? I love you guys, you’re always there for me!” You and Alana rolled your eyes at him, while Evan chuckled quietly. Jared then turned to the closest wall of frames and began to peruse. You stepped up and looked at some on the shelf next to him, and the others split up to look around the rest of the store. You heard Jared gasp, and turned to see that he picked out some round, metal frames. He was looking in the mirror and waving his arm around.

Shaking your head at him, you did your best impression of Draco Malfoy and said, “Enjoying yourself, Potter?” with the best leer you could muster.

“Having a better time than you, Malfoy,” Jared replied as Harry, his British accent as horrible as ever. You couldn’t help the giggle that escaped, which brought Connor over to investigate. “Hermione! Come give Malfoy a good what for, eh?”

Connor rolled his eyes. “Stick with puns, Jared,” he stated flatly before moving back to his corner of the store, making you laugh harder. Jared held his chest in mock hurt, but put the frames back on the shelf.

Alana then came by with a pair for Jared to try. They were clear, except around where the lenses were, where there was an outline of a tortoise shell. He tried them on, but still couldn’t really see himself in the mirror, so you snapped a picture to show him when he could actually see with his actual glasses. He struck a pose as you ~took the photo and you giggled as he threw his head back, putting one of his hands on his hips and the other in the air as if presenting something in the palm of his hand.

When he looks at the photo he laughs and exclaims, “I look like some hipster who’s trying to get somebody to support his startup.” He makes grabby hands at Alana, and she hands the glasses back to him. He puts them on and starts talking in a ‘posh’ accent, “Yes, Josh, I know that my latte is nine dollars. But if I don’t get my caffeine I don’t get my brilliant ideas, and then we really would be in debt, wouldn’t we?” He lets out a chortle.

Alana is shaking her head, but giggling all the same. She goes to put the pair back, and Evan walks up with a nervous chuckle, handing the frames to Jared. He hadn’t put on his prescription pair yet, so he holds them up close to his face, inspecting them, before shrugging and putting them on. You take another photo, with a different posing Jared.

This time, both of his hands are on his waist, and he’s looking off into the distance as if he had just finished saving the day. You smile, knowing he looks like such a dad with the wire frames and aviator style, almost like the 1970s. As soon as Jared gets a good look at the picture, he puts the new frames back on and begins to rant about ‘new-fangled technology’.

Connor comes back over, and Jared says with his best Dad Voice, “Young man, you need to take your responsibilities seriously. Either you get your grades up, or we’ll have to take away your television.” He turns to you and nudges your side with his elbow, “That’ll show him.” Connor rolls his eyes, but you can see the hint of a smile breaking through.

Evan is giggling as he puts the frames back, and Connor hands him a pair before whispering something in his ear and walking over to Alana. You give Jared a suspicious look, but you know he can’t see it since he’s trying on the pair Connor gave him. The second he looks at you, you know why Connor picked them. They look just like Alana’s and you can’t help the laugh that escapes you.

Alana makes her way over, Evan and Connor trailing behind her, the latter with a smirk on his face. You know you don’t need to take a picture, but you do anyway. When Alana is standing next to Jared, she looks him up and down. “I think you could actually pull them off, Jared. What do you say, want to join the Beck fashion line?”

“Do I?” he asks, a teasing excitement in his voice. “I can’t wait to be transformed! I’ll be accepted into so many colleges, and have the highest grades in my class. And I’ll be a huge nerd! I mean, who wouldn’t want that?” Alana gives him a playful shove, but laughs all the same.

“Who’re you calling ‘nerd’? You’re the one wearing a Zelda t-shirt.” He shrugs and throws an arm around her shoulder. She rolls her eyes as you snap another picture, the perfect mix of friendship and annoyed tolerance captured in that moment. Connor snatches the glasses off of Jared’s face and puts them back.

The next pair Jared tries is one that you picked out. The frames are absurdly thick around the lenses and you couldn’t help but imagine what he would look like in their bulky shape. As he tries them on, you actually think he looks kind of good, but you giggle anyway at the way they almost take over his face. His pose is one of a thinker, with his fist resting on his chin and his arm resting on the other.

Jared busts out laughing when he sees how he looks, not even trying to make it any funnier than it already is. “They were so heavy!” he says as you put them back, “I honestly thought they were some kind of goggle at first.”

Finally, after trying on a few more pairs, Jared found the perfect match. They were a bright blue, which not only brought out his eyes, but also reflected his personality perfectly. Slightly rounded, but still rectangular-ish, they were slightly smaller than his other pair, but you knew he was getting them the second he saw the color. “They came out of the blue,” he joked as he paid for them.

Your group made their way to the foodcourt as you waited for the glasses to be ready. Ordering things from a few different places and having a mini buffet so everyone could have a taste of everything. You talked about school and some college stuff, until Jared announced that his ‘ocular enhancers had finished being commissioned’. You threw away your trash and headed back to the store.

You all waited as Jared got them fitted and watched in amusement as he confidently walked out of the store, and straight into a disgruntled group of teen girls. They glared at him, but he ignored them and struck another pose, which you knew couldn’t be captured through a cell phone. You just had to be there to truly witness the magnificent dork that is Jared Kleinman.

[robeboys]

✩ just a lil rant ✩

RANT TIME !!! the ships in this fandom have gone way, WAY too far, and in fact, have ruined friendships between some of the kids . people shouldn't force things at them, when they know that it makes them uncomfortable . so why do it? they're kids, just kids - who're amazing and talented, and don't deserve all of this shiz that makes them feel uncomfortable . they're teens, like us . i mean, how would you feel if you were being shipped with someone who you didn't feel comfortable being shipped with? like, say, your best friend? some of these kids have even said that it makes them feel uneasy, like on livestreams . sure, ship the characters all you want! but if ship the actors / actresses, and you know it makes them uncomfortable, please, don't do it . it annoys me so much to see these people forcing these ships down the kids throats . it's okay if you ship the kids as "friends", like, y'know, you love their friendship or think that they're cute AS FRIENDS (ex. wyatt and sophia), but sexuality shipping them is disgusting and.. well, just wrong . i don't care about ships anymore, it just bothers me what people are doing to these young teens . boy, whatta fandom we are . i know i'm going to get a lot of hate for this, but honestly, it's worth it . if you're pissed at my opinions, block me, unfollow, comment all the hate . i don't give a flip . THESE SHIPS HAVE JUST GOTTEN OUT OF HAND, THAT WE'RE PROBABLY AN EMBARRASSING FANDOM . JUST THINK ABOUT IT . — not loser related but it's a caption repost from my IG (@jaedenonmars)

[cosmic-herbal-tea]

Yo like, I must be one of the few people here on this site that can’t stand how people infantilize the Bat-family in the fandom and how they treat certain issues in general.

Like really; y'all celebrate Jason Todd being a “feminist” when he’s written to be attacking his own family and their allies (including Catwoman the Birds of Prey iirc) and shot at Damian, a 12 year old. Like no qualms about killing a child? I guess respect for women is better? Even if he’s trying to kill people who genuinely care? Mistakes were made but I’m not sure killing them is appropriate.

Speaking of Damian, y'all absolve him of ALL things cause he’s a cute jackass and can do some pretty stretching things and fans will defend him. It’s stretching, really. Like him recently weakening OG Wally West’s heart! Oh but he’s cute and Super Sons! Yeah. Doesn’t stop him doing it in canon and how there’s a percentage in which thinks it’s “okay”.

With Dick Grayson, y'all want this super nice guy and sexy guy but get mad at canon for “sexualizing” him. Like anyone can see your sexy fan art of said character. You can preach that but think “I’m a fan” excuses your end? And some go on rants about bisexual Dick Grayson but then act like Dick has never exclusively dated women for all his character life and that the actual robin that was seemingly bi was actually Jason Todd (I mean, Judd Winick was asked this and he couldn’t give a straight answer). And no, HES NOT NICE.

And apparently, Tim Drake is just smart dude. Like as if that’s all to him. I don’t have much to say because Tim seems constantly patronize to awkward, nerd kid that love hates Damian and….that’s about it. I don’t have much on him though.

And don’t get me started on the female Batfamily characters. It’s arguably worse just because try addressing it and it’ll be a social issue. Since the people above are guys, criticizing them won’t land you in as deep doo doo.

I don’t really get Steph so I won’t go in-depth but there has to be more to this character than snarky one liners, waffles, and “kick-butt”. With the exception of waffles, you’re describing how fictional media tends to depict females who’re strong and independent and needs no man in general if they’re not being damsel in distress or playing a role where they’re not really characters per-say.

And Cassandra Cain…it’s almost like you want a Mary-Sue ish character. Like no; she really can’t be beating everyone like it’s nothing. Male or female. Like no, her being “90 pounds” is not the problem. In a universe where there’s powerful metahumans of varying degrees and other character with fair skill too, going all Bruce lee can’t seriously be the only thing. Also, it’s like everyone fighting her H2H with gear forgets to use it. Some fans just wanna prop her up. Be fucking honest: you want Cassandra Cain beating ALL THE ASS because favorite character! It’s can’t be “because diversity” because she’s beating characters who’re considered diverse too and being shrilled over diverse characters too.

And with these two characters, why must people constantly argue who’s worthy of being the more “interesting” Batgirl? People act as If Barbara being paralyze was a legit attempt at diversity in disabled character, ignoring how it saddled a character unnecessarily of her own popularity with a problem because a writer wrote a AU that became canon. Like I get the passion behind Oracle but you cannot convince me that people should prefer a character sticking to being a major supporting character at best for your favorite. It’s fair to say she equally deserves to cash in her popularity or acknowledge that there’s a huge amount of fans perfectly okay with her mobility given she is the most recognized Batgirl.

Speaking of Barbara, when is anyone ever going to speak up about how she’s written to invalidate Dick’s feelings or written as If she must have a say so in his love life? And also, how is it that Dick is the sole bad guy in their relationship but writing doesn’t acknowledge her ridiculous expectations? And even worse, most people are unaware/side-swipe stark problems in her characterization. Take your Pre-52 I purposely don’t let my apparent “equal” in on a plan and rather make him feel he’ll have to do it all because I’m Barbara fucking Gordon. Or your New 52 I think Dick Grayson should drop finding LADY SHIVA to fight Joker because he’s supposed to be my friend? Or how about the time she’s written to use Canary’s garage without her consent and BURNED her dojo after a gadget malfunction? She isn’t perfect either even if writing pretends otherwise.

Like this apparent treatment in which the females must be “queens” or worshipped even with the Robins falls flat on its face anyway! Nobody talks about Betty Kane! Not many defended New 52 Helena Bertinelli and wants to talk how her Pre-52, bless her coolness, was strictly drawn like every other “attractive, black haired woman with blue eyes” and how that’s “iconic” and making her BI-RACIAL doesn’t erase her Italian heritage nor does it really take away from the character given she should of been distinct from Helena Wayne in the beginning! Nobody talks about how in-canon, Barbara is Dick’s one true love and Helena is told this after she kissed Dick and his body was hijacked by a super villain and being a black character, it may come off terrible that the white character is expressed as a preference over the black character however unintentionally (given the character is literally a nazi) and then said relationship is called a ship passing in the night by Tim Seeley.

Now I can’t possibly address all the Batfam characters but here’s my point; YES, your favorite character has flaws, other fans of characters like myself WILL call them out, and be fucking honest whatever spectrum you fall in; You want your favs respected because they’re your favs!

Like the level of denial and the pretending of inflating the character’s positive traits to ignore the bad and using social topics to defend from it has to stop! And no, depending on the instance and said flaw, it’s not just “bad writing”/“OOC” although it’s always subjective anyway given people will ride with one’s negative character trait if it enhances their perception of their fav!

[naruchankavaii]

Drama club.

Hello to anyone who reads this! You’re about to proceed to my super whiny post, beware of saltiness and drama!

But seariously.

To tell the story short - it's about video reediting/reposting and all that kind of stuff, so, I’m putting it under a cut, for people who’re interested in what I’m about to say.

Ok, let me start with explaining the situation. One person used to download and cut clips from my and my friend’s editing studio on YouTube, the Blooming Cherry Blossom Studio and from some other popular editors on the site, and used them in their videos made with program like VivaStudio or something like that, which is probably for phones?.. Well, basically, it made it obvious that they couldn't make such effects, not to tell about my friends' and my own clips I saw there. The usual on YouTube. And so, as usual, I asked them to delete it, to which they responded with a rude form of a "no", calling us and the character names, and so on. They blocked me and BCBS, so I couldn't communicate with them anymore. So I added those videos in a special playlist I have for the people that maybe want to subscribe them or already are. The usual, too. Now, that's what happened about two years ago, since then, they deleted those videos (but there are still some with other editors' amvs on their channel, just not BCBS's anymore), and instead just started copying our (the studio’s, mine, and my friends’) videos. Like, literally, we upload our video, and the same day, or a few days later, they upload a video with the same script to it, with the same song, and attempt to copy our effects. I was kinda bothered by that, since I'm really greedy, when it comes to my stuff, but I've never done anything about that, y'know. It's still their clips, and it won't take away my works from me, right? But lately, I uploaded our NaruSaku collab on my channel, and it got 18 dislikes at once, all from USA, where this person is from, and on that same day, they upload a sign up with this same song, with the same theme for a NaruHina MEP. Now, I know I don't have proofs that it was them (update from the future: actually, I have now. The video I put this rant with got that same amount of dislikes minutes ago), but I know that they hate Sakura and love NaruHina which was their first problem with us. Well, being in a NaruSaku fandom, I'm pretty used to hate, and like no other, I know how jealous fangirls and boys can get over a character, and Naruto and Sakura having sex is pretty provocative for many NaruHina fans, which is understandable. Yet, never have I ever got so many dislikes at once, really. Even though, I must say, it's kinda irrelevant, because I got a SUPER positive feedback too, like lots of beautiful comments from beautiful people I know or don't know, and it's just amazing, so I don't give a flying fuck about those dislikes, to be honest. It's not about the dislikes, it's about people. If we keep talking about that person, they also created playlist called "Garbage of YouTube" or something like that, and put a good amount of my videos there (also others and plus the stolen ones, to make it look like it was all stolen), motivating people to "go flag them". Now, don't get me wrong, I understand there's no way you can flag a video unless it really has clips/music that belong to someone else, and only that someone else can flag it, so it doesn't worry me, but... garbage? Really? They tried to justify it with it being the same as me putting THEIR videos with stolen clips in the playlist I created just for that, for stolen videos. Telling me I'm wrong for putting it there for people to see it. And it's the same as to put someone's actual works they worked hard on in one place, called "garbage".

Now, let me explain it a little better. I created this playlist not to spread hate. Not to be unfounded, let me show you something:

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCCrG8QGIwoiMdZWpOxuiaxg/videos All or almost all videos are made out of stolen clips. Has 6thsd subscribers and 3m views.

https://www.youtube.com/user/QTNatalie21/videos 17thsd subscibers and 12m views.

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCfHTfpxngI3XOQ8d3tTSj4w/videos 12thsd and 4m.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kqh3gXcrdS8&t=22s 50thsd views and 1thsd likes.

And I only checked the first 40 on the list I have, and you know how many channels are there at the moment? 120.

Me and my friends already had such problems before, but this person actually is getting subscribers and supporters, unlike the others I’ve dealt with before. And all of them were disrespectful, playing victims like I don’t see if the content is stolen, denying the words they have said, and so on.

You see, what I do is more than just a hobby to me. I'm actually trying to become a freelancer at this point, and it hurts me to see all these people getting support for stealing content, while I work hard to get to where I am. Don't I have a right to complain?

I’m honestly tired of fighting for justice, when pretty much everyone doesn’t give a shit. It’s not a drawing, it’s not a song, it’s not literature, so it doesn’t deserve a protection, it seems. But I have to pay for songs/animation/cinema material to upload my work.

My point is video editors aren't treated as a part of art community, like artists, writers and singers, I mean, I understand that it's not actually creating, it’s editing, but it takes a lot of effort. It's the same as designing, if you ask me, but people don't respect it, don't value it as much. They repost it, without giving a credit, steal clips and not even get called out on this, but God forbid me creating a playlist of stolen material, out of despair. Because I don't have any other solution. If YouTube actually PROTECTED editors, there wouldn't be any reason for me to even talk to these people, but I'm left we what I have.

So, yes, I will do it. I will dislike videos, I will put them on the playlists, and I don't care how childish I may look. If that's what gonna help me, I will.

I needed to let it all out, sorry for the rant.

[mild-lunacy]

The Fan Rebellion and the Last Season Jinx

As I said yesterday about Sherlock, I've definitely observed that a lot of people think that the last book or the last season in a series is often... problematic. If you've been in enough fandoms, you'll see this is a very common phenomenon. It's also very common for people who're particularly attached to a pairing or a character to feel 'cheated' and rant irrationally at the creators (unfortunately). As I said, this is just what fans and fandoms are *like*. I literally-- literally!-- cannot remember the last time a final season or book truly pleased most diehard fans, or there was a lack of wank at that point at least. Being a diehard fan means being unreasonable to some degree, and when you translate this to the way most people act on the Internet, it's a matter of trolling waiting to happen. My point is that there's certainly plenty of pure wank, and this is what people who're frustrated with the discourse often focus on. As for me, I'm more concerned with the fact that most of the more thoughtful metas aren't really... that much better, in terms of the depth or closeness of analysis being performed.

In general, I've been thinking that fans are often most frustrated when they feel that things didn't change enough, so the writers actually kept going with their MO in ways they'd hoped *would* change, while adding new stuff they feel unprepared for. That type of rug pull or 'gut punch moment' Moffat said he likes so much is actually something many fans tend to hate, especially when they're simultaneously confronted by the fact that many of the undesirable aspects of the style remained. This was a huge problem one could see with the overwhelmingly negative critical and fan response to the 'transgressive' approach Gatiss took with 'The Final Problem', as I've written about recently. Of course, this is also precisely what happened with Moffat and Gatiss's clear, consistent interest in queer subtext (largely remaining just that). It *feels* like a bait and switch, leading to claims of the lack of character progress combined precariously with criticism of the apparent inconsistencies.

In the Raven Cycle fandom, I've noticed the more mature sounding, analytical drive-by critiques of 'The Raven King' saying that the characters didn't grow enough, at least aside from Ronan and Adam. That is, the others' arcs didn't *resolve* enough. This is definitely a common refrain for the last book or season of a show, when people come into the story with a lot of preset expectations and projections onto the text. In the case of the last book in The Raven Cycle, it's common to see people say that Noah in particular just disappeared, somehow. And this critique is always presented as being somehow more hard-hitting than pure squee about the books, a sign the person is thinking deeply and critically about the text. In fact, it's generally a sign that they didn't pay enough attention to the story.

Do many narratives actually go off the rails at the last minute? Sure, yeah. But it seems to me that if your critique is primarily that things about the characters didn't change *enough*, or they changed in the *wrong way*, then that warrants a second look. It's a sign there were certain expectations being applied, certain standards as to what sort of thing qualified as a 'resolution' as well as what *needed* an explicitly textual resolution to start with. And unlike these fans' implicit assumptions, there's no rules about what a writer would *have* to address explicitly in terms of characterization and what they can leave to be inferred or simply understood by connecting the dots of related events.

It's hard to say exactly what any given fan thinks Maggie Stiefvater failed to resolve in TRK. Everyone seems to have their favorite axe to grind. I *can* say there is textual support for them being wrong about Noah, and this whole complaint is a misreading of his entire character from the start. Conversely, stuff to do with Gansey and Blue is more difficult because it's more complex and works with more of people's ingrained projections and assumptions about the characters, and what the two of them need in the first place. No one wants to think they've misunderstood the story, but my point is that this is relatively common, at least as common as stories suddenly turning bad at the last stretch, surely. I'd say more common than that, 'cause writers generally do have editors and some sort of existing plan for their characters.

Basically, when the last part of a story makes the mismatch between the audience's headcanons and the reality of the story all too apparent, most people clearly choose to blame the writers rather than reevaluating any of their existing readings of the characters. And this happens even though there's generally a mix between the audience misunderstanding and the writer's failings.

A lot of times, I think part of the problem is a mismatch of priorities. It's not that the last book or season generally just *ignores* the issues at hand, but the writers may have had other priorities that they chose to take center stage. Fans are usually pretty resistant to any such last minute shift in priorities (so many people resented the importance of Henry Cheng in TRK just 'cause he was new, just as many people really weren't thrilled with Eurus being so important in Sherlock Series 4). Basically, the character arc may turn out to be more of a case of character *growth* or development instead of a formal arc the way some characters may have. And needless to say, this isn't okay for fans of that character or people who thought they were 'important' enough for a more explicitly central role.

Of course, simply focusing on a different character-- such as making Adam and Ronan's arcs the core of The Raven Cycle, or keeping Sherlock alone as the protagonist of BBC Sherlock-- isn't actually a writing mistake. This is complicated for people who thought they were reading or watching an entirely different story, though, because an apparent shift (or final adjustment) in focus can seem to change the nature of the narrative as a whole. It's not even a misreading at that point: it's that you may think you're reading a story about Blue, Gansey and friends at the beginning, or it's a show about John and Sherlock's adventures and friendship. And then, boom! It hasn't really been about Blue after all: she's just the necessary mirror and introduction to the Raven Boys. Similarly, the show is not really about John and Sherlock's relationship, in the strictest sense, but primarily about *Sherlock*, whose central relationship is simply with John. That changes things... too many things, for many fans, who simply find they cannot accept it. After all, it still feels like losing something you loved.

Like I said, though, this isn't to say that Gansey and Blue's relationship (or John and his relationship with Sherlock) wasn't developed and resolved in the end, even if this wasn't the *kind* of resolution fans expected or wanted. That's definitely a difficult thing to wrap your mind around, and requires viewing the story impersonally-- or at the very least not taking what happens to your favorite characters *personally*, which is a tall order for anyone who's emotionally engaged with a story to start with. I'm not even sure it's *desirable*, really. It just kind of comes naturally to me, whether through personality type or college training.

Finding that seemingly missing character development calls for a certain type of engagement and close reading that I think most people either rarely engage in or only engage in if they're absolutely in love with the story. Basically, the John or Gansey type of characterization thread is part of a secondary (implicit or subtextual) rather than the primary narrative, so you have to look closer, read more deeply and generously. This is something which most disgruntled fans aren't apt to do. That's what I meant about many of the critical readings being a bit desultory or sloppy, more concerned with letting off steam than analyzing the text open-endedly. As I'd said yesterday, the motivation for most critiques in general is such that they don't lend themselves to making close, loving treatises. And in the end, the pay-off isn't very dramatic, anyway. As Ivy showed in her recent reply to me, the pay-off for John and Sherlock in TLD is almost entirely implicit and between the scenes (or lines). And well, the fact is that at the end of TRK, Gansey's King is found to be dead. He hasn't had a heart-to-heart with Adam except about Ronan, and I suppose it seems that some of the problematic aspects of his relationship with Ronan himself haven't been... fixed (although I'm far from sure they *needed* explicit fixing). Not exactly thrilling. And then the author says that he still can't kiss Blue. It's enough that that many people have to ask: is that part even *real*? It certainly doesn't *feel* real to them.

In the end, I'm a 'cold-prickly' kind of reader, so I don't mind those kind of understated emotional resolutions too much. However, this may actually not even register as any kind of resolution for many 'warm-fuzzy' types, who associate resolution with direct emotional pay-off. Because of that underlying assumption that a character resolution would automatically be *satisfying* and feel good, anything that isn't positive or satisfying will then presumably have to be called unresolved.

Essentially, my point is that character or plot-based resolution can certainly occur off-screen, or lack true emotional pay-off. For example, I've described the talks between John and Sherlock in the show, and they're all full of unspoken things: they're frequently being interrupted, are incomplete, or are otherwise unsatisfying in some way. This tendency of only hinting at things, or the characters not explicitly *saying* what they mean is typical for Moffat and Gatiss's work; Moffat has said he doesn't consider it a plot hole (or otherwise incomplete) if something is simply *unexplained* in the text. He expects the engaged viewer to fill in between the lines, as Ivy describes doing after TLD. Clearly, the question of whether one's viewers choose to grant the text that sort of courtesy is another thing altogether.