#I told him it reminds me of my condition every day

[pantherpilz]

@ my chronically ill peeps: you don't owe anyone the extra effort it takes to pretend that you are ok. You don't need to pretend, even if it makes people upset, downright furious even.

You will have people who get upset at you for being chronically ill, because surprise!! your condition is chronic and no matter how many times they ask: no, it did not get better overnight. No, not even after trying -thing-

It's ok to be chronically ill, it's not a moral failing or your fault, you are NOT a burden. Sometimes shit just happens. And the people who do matter? They will stick around, even if you're having a particularly bad day or when you simply don't have the energy to put a fake smile on your face.

Chronically ill people do not need to try harder, to grow despite our illness and be a "success story".

You are not a failure for having to rely on people or for being dependent on medication.

If you're not chronically ill, be prepared for the answer to the question of "How are you?" or "Are you OK?" It will not always be what you want to hear.

[etheries1015]

after learning Silver uses a BAR OF SOAP to wash his hair...AND wanting to wish him a happy birthday, I decided he must be pampered with a...little spa day, and something a little special near the end <3 Happy birthday, Silver!!

General warnings: gender neutral reader

Upon visiting Silver in his dorm for a small birthday celebration and finding out the unfortunate truth behind his hair-washing habits, you were quick to insist you take him out shopping or teach him the ways of proper hair care.

"I had no clue it wasn't normal to just use a bar of soap," Silver shrugged, "As long as it makes me clean, right?"

"Just hearing you say that hurts," you joked exasperatedly, "I feel it's my duty now to train you in the ways of making your hair clean and feel like you're touching a cloud."

"Well," Silver pondered, "I guess it wont hurt to learn."

"Perfect!" You jumped up from your seat, the Diasomnia lounge, "you guys are done here, right?" Lilia looked as startled as Silver at your sudden outburst, before taking a glance at the already eaten birthday cake and open presents that lay out on the table.

"I suppose it is time to retire, I have a gaming session happening soon anyways," Lilia pointed out, before a sly smile crawled upon his lips and looking at you with a glint of mischief in his eyes, "Feel free to take him!"

"Take me?" Silver perked up, sitting up straight. Giving an...unsettling cackle and grabbing Silvers hands, you began to pull him up and urge him to follow you.

"Perfect. Yes, i'm kidnapping you. Remember, I told you that I left my present for you at Ramshackle anyways. AND this is a perfect opportunity for me to initiate my next mission..."

"Mission...?" you heard Lilia sing his goodbyes and waved a quick farewell to the other members of Diasomnia, before dragging Silver out the door and towards the direction of the hall of mirrors.

"Operation: spoil the birthday boy with a spa day!"

Wearing the world's softest robe you had let him use, Silver dosed off a few times after being completely pampered like a princess, and not as a result of his typical condition. You messaging his scalp was probably the most heavenly thing he had felt in a long time, the way your fingers worked on his head left his eyes fluttering shut. He was honestly sad when he realized he had fallen asleep and missed half of the process, but he could still feel your touch linger on his head and immensely enjoy the newfound softness of his silver locks.

You woke him up when you had placed a cool face mask on him, and fell asleep once more when you had started to massage his tense shoulders and cut his nails... He felt like floating on clouds, and those clouds also smelled like you.

"It's nice..." Silver hummed, eyes fluttering open watching you finish filing one of his nails, "You have a very nice scent. I would like to know where you get your hair products," He smiled at you.

"We can find you a scent that suites you more," you offered, "every person has their own unique scent! I'm sure with some time, we can find the perfect one for you." However, Silver shook his head in earnest. It was much more romantic than he probably intended, yet he leaned forward and took a light smell of your also freshly washed hair.

"I like your scent," he smiled, "besides, it would be nice to share something similar, right? So when we aren't together, there's always a piece of you there. You also convinced me that hair care is more important than I gave it credit for..."

Your face took a rosy hue, you groaned in embarrassment, covering your face with your hands.

"You're so...cheesy! You don't need my shampoo and conditioner to be reminded of me, I actually...got you...something. For your birthday." Silver raised a curious eyebrow and tilted his head with widened eyes.

"I thought you spoiling me with a little 'spa' was my birthday gift? you've already spoiled me plenty, I don't need-"

"Of course that's not all I have planned!" You exasperated, pushing Silver down onto the couch in Ramshackle lounge, "Wait here." Sprinting away, you were back almost as fast as you had left, in your hands you held a small box obviously held for some type of accessory. Taking it gracefully, Silver opened the box to reveal a silver bracelet adorned with...

"Acorns?" Silver asked startled, holding up the bracelet and examining it with curious and starry eyes.

"I saw the one you made for Lilia," You pointed out shyly, "Out of real acorns. I thought of making one myself for you, too...but, I wanted something a little more durable, something you can wear more often. If...you don't mind accessories." You hid your hands behind your back fidgeting with your fingers nervously, before a smile spread ear to ear and cheeks rose with a blush from the male. He gripped the bracelet with eagerness, and you swore the bright look on his face would surely give the sun some competition.

"I love it," Silver replied with a voice dripping in enthusiasm, "I won't be able to wear it while I'm training, but I'll be sure to have it on at all times. I'll take great care of it, thank you." You were visibly relieved, chuckling and bringing your hands to your front as you revealed an exact match of the same bracelet you had just given him.

"i'm glad, otherwise it would have been pretty embarrassing to wear a matching bracelet with nobody actually matching with me..." Silver stared with wide auroral orbs, mouth ajar upon seeing it. "So...we have something to share! Just like you were talking about before, right?"

Engulfing you in a hug after putting on the accessory in one fell swoop, Silver couldn't help but feel an overwhelming sense of affection for the prefect of ramshackle dorm. He squeezed you tightly, yet not enough to harm you. You smiled and returned the hug in full, chuckling at his sudden display of fondness.

"This has been a wonderful birthday," Silver said, "Thank you, truly. I will remember this day for a very, very long time." leaning into his touch, you pushed aside the urge to tell him he was overreacting, and took the honest boys words at face value.

"Of course...Happy birthday, Silver!"

[anonymousicecream]

The Model (Jennie x M Reader)

BxG

Smut, Angst & Fluff

Sunrise. People see it as a very beautiful part of the day, the start to a beautiful day. However, you see it as a start of an exhausting routine, a sacrifice in order to make ends meet. Every sunrise reminds you of how much you've sacrificed from leaving your hometown of Tulsa, Oklahoma to move to LA in order to become a model. Your initial plan wasn't to become a model but instead your initial plan was to become an actor. It was a lucky bump into a photographer that made you become the fashion model you are now.

You started off with becoming models for home appliances. However, it didn't take long for companies to notice your broad physique and sharp face. Your first major project was becoming a model for Kith, a local fashion brand. The money wasn't a lot, but it did bring you a lot of exposure due to the rising popularity of the brand.

That project was 8 months ago, and now you are in a better place than you were 8 months ago. You're currently living in a 3-bedroom condo in LA, owning a BMW M3, which was bought from the modelling money you earned.

This morning wasn't suppose to be like any other day. Your agent told you that you were not supposed to have any schedule for the day, but like other people, your agent was there to disappoint you.

*Knock Knock!

You groaned, opening your eyes, seeing the bedside alarm, signaling the time which is 6:45 AM. You groaned, before stretching your body and then walking towards the door. You opened the door, and groaned further, seeing the smug smile on your agent's face as he holds a cup of coffee.

"Don't tell me I have something today." You said in a hopeless tone. "Well, you do. But it's something fun." He replied, and you groaned further, before letting him into your apartment. You closed the door before grabbing the coffee he held, drinking it little by little.

"So, what's the schedule for today?" You ask your manager while drinking the coffee. "Well, Calvin Klein has a photoshoot today at 3, and their male talent is unavailable due to personal reasons. They want you to step in." Your manager replied while checking his phone. "What line are we shooting?" You ask, finishing your coffee. "Underwear. You'll do several solo shots before ending the day with a shooting partner. It's someone famous." Your manager replied.

You nodded, before going to the bathroom to take a shower. After showering, you did your daily routine before leaving to the studio at 11. It took you 30 minutes to drive to the studio. At the studio, you were immediately guided to your changing room, where you tried out some of the outfits. After selecting which outfits you'll wear, the make up artist started touching up your face and body, making sure your body is in prime condition to be photographed.

Because the preparation took shorter than expected, you were able to start the photoshoot earlier, taking shots only wearing Calvin Klein boxers in seductive poses in the studio, which is set as a house. It took you around 40 minutes to complete all the poses, before you returned to the changing room to prepare for the next part of the photoshoot, which will feature a partner.

"Bro, do you know who my partner will be?" You asked your manager, while changing into the new outfit, which is a CK boxer with a white tank top. "I don't know bro, they said it's someone famous." Your manager replied. You nodded at his response, focusing on preparing for the shoot, before you leave the room. You walked towards the photoshoot area, before you were introduced to the lead photographer and the female talent, with her back against you.

"Oh Y/n! You're here, let me introduce you to...." The photographer said, before the female talent turned around and looked at you. At that moment, you know who she was. "Jennie Kim." You said. "Yes, indeed. Are you perhaps a fan of Blackpink?" The photographer replied. "No, we uh, happen to have had an interaction in the past." You replied, trying to downplay the situation.

Flashback

You and Jennie were an interesting story. You received an offer for a student exchange program to South Korea, and you took it. You entered one of South Korea's most prestigious schools, and you happen to meet a certain female named Jennie Kim there. The two of you didn't had the best of starts, but over time, the two of you bonded over different things. Truth be told, she was your first everything. Your first kiss, first dance, as well as first fuck. It was clear that there was something there, but the two of you couldn't bring yourself to confess to each other. It took one big mistake from Jennie, which involves her hooking up with another guy, to let you know that you don't deserve her. With that, you moved back to your hometown and continued your studies there, trying your best to forget the bitter-sweet memories of South Korea.

Present

Jennie took off her robe, which unveiled herself in Calvin Klein bra top and panties.

She walked towards you and the photographer, trying to make sure that the shoot starts quickly. "When can we start?" She asks, trying to not make eye contact with you. "Let's start now." The photographer said, and the two of you nodded. You sat on the couch as instructed by the photographer while Jennie sat on your lap. The photographer started taking pictures of the two of you, before he instructed the two of you to make eye contact with each other.

"Don't act like you can't do this shit." You said to Jennie. "Shut up. I'm not trying to make you fall in love with me again." Jennie replied. "Try me, I'm sure you'll be the one to fall in love again." You replied, shutting her up in the process.

The two of you resumed the photoshoot as if nothing had happened, before the photographer asked for one final pose, which was for you to lift her up and held her against the wall. You did as instructed, but as you leaned closer to her, you noticed that a certain area of hers down there is getting VERY wet.

"Getting wet, are we?" You teased her, making her give you a death glare, ignoring your statement. The two of you continued the shoot before the photographers declared it a day and wrapped it up. Before you set her down on her feet, you leaned into her right ear and whispered into her ear. "Blue BMW M3, top parking lot, near the elevator, 30 minutes, don't make me wait." You instructed to her, and she rolled her eyes before nodding.

You returned to your changing room, scrubbing off the make up you had and taking a quick shower, before changing back into your daily clothes. You send your regards with the crew and waved them goodbye, before leaving for your car. You entered the car, turning the engine and AC on, waiting for a certain someone to enter your car.

Not long after, a cat-eyed female wearing a t-shirt and skirt entered your car.

"Go on, why'd you call me here?" Jennie asked sternly. "Why? Why did you do that?" You asked. "Because I wanted to. We weren't anything back then, so you don't have the right to rule me, control me." She replied, now facing her body towards you. "Now my turn, why did you leave?" She confronts you. "There's no point going to school there." You replied, giving her a cold glare. "Yes there is." She replied.

"NO THERE ISN'T." You replied at her, raising your voice. "FOR FUCK SAKE Y/N, STOP SAYING THINGS AS IF YOU ACTUALLY LOVED ME." Jennie shouted at you, which left you speechless and you lowered your head. She then noticed your actions and came to a shock realization. "You actually did?" Jennie asked you, looking for affirmation.

"I never stopped. Never once did. I moved due to how painful it was." You replied, before unlocking the door and grabbing your door handle, wanting to walk out. However, before you could do that, Jennie held your hand tightly and grabbed your cheek, tilting it towards her face. She then leaned into you, kissing at your lips with a great passion. You replied the kiss with the same intensity, moving your hands from her cheek towards her lower back. She did the same, but she moved her hand towards my neck.

It took me no time to reach her ass. Feeling crazy, I grabbed her ass and lifted her onto my lap, letting her sit on my lap as we continued making out. You started caressing your hands onto her thighs, reaching inside her skirt, playing with her covered clit. She started moaning loudly, having never reach the pleasure with anyone compared to when she does it with you.

As you continued playing with her clit, she grabbed your pants and unbuckled it, lowering your pants along with your boxers, pulling your hard cock out. She spat on her hands before stroking your cock with her hands, all the while she continues making out with you. You lifted her clothes onto above her chest, making her bra visible. You started sucking on her left tits, before she raised herself, aligning her pussy with your dick.

She lowered herself onto your dick, immediately moving up and down, wasting no time in doing this. You continued sucking her tits as your hands play with her clit and ass, stimulating her even further.

"Ahhh yes, right there baby, just like how we did it." Jennie moaned, taking you on a stroll down memory lane, reminding you how she liked it best. You started meeting her thrusts, thrusting upwards to make sure she is further stimulated.

"Baby I'm close, where do you want it?" You asked her, while still sucking on her tits. "Inside baby, let's cum together." She moaned as she moved faster, which you followed. "AHHHHH." The two of you moved in tandem a few more times before she clenched hard and squirted her cum out, causing you to cum deep inside her. You immediately grabbed her face, making out with her as the two of you finished together.

She bounced on your cock a few more times, before lifting herself off your cock, and sitting on your lap. "I love you." You said to her, while still kissing her collarbone. "What?" Jennie asked, flabbergasted after hearing what you said. "I love you. That day when I found out, I was supposed to ask you to be my girlfriend. I spent a lot preparing for that day, even to the point where I asked Irene noona to help me prepare for everything. It hurt me a lot, knowing what you did." You said, as she started staring into your eyes, before crying onto your shoulders. "I'm sorry. I love you too. I was too afraid and pissed because you didn't made any moves, so I thought hooking up with someone was the way to go." She said, while crying her eyes out.

"It's okay baby, I forgive you. Now, it's long overdue but I should ask this anyway. Jennie Ruby Jane Kim, will you be my girlfriend?" "Yes."

The two of you kissed before heading back to your apartment, where the two of you had more unprotected sex for basically the next 3 days.

[deadtired-highkeyenergetic]

Nightmares

The start of my Astarion rabbithole begins here...

Summary: You can't sleep without Astarion. Even still, nightmares continue to haunt you but Astarion vows to do all he can to ease your pain.

“Yes darling?” Astarion asks the moment he feels your face collide with his back, lifting his gaze from his book. Your arms wrap around his waist, pressing his body against yours and Astarion will never tell you how much he loves that feeling. No matter what you bribe him with.

You incoherently mumble something in return, burying your face into the back of his shirt.

“I can’t quite make out what you just said, dearest. You’ll have to speak up a bit more,” he bites back a laugh at how you give an angry grumble in response and closes the book, gently prying you off him.

Turning around to face you, he presses a kiss to the top of your head before tilting your chin up so that he can press another kiss to your lips, his cold slender fingers gliding over your warm skin. The tip of his index finger traces along your jawline as he hungrily kisses you deeper, his other hand tangled in your hair.

You kiss him back with equal fervour, eyes closed. His fangs graze your bottom lip, drawing a hint of blood which he immediately licks up, letting out a soft moan at the sweetness that floods his tongue.

“You still have not told me what it is you desire, my sweet,” he nuzzles into your hair, arms wrapped tightly around you. His book lies on the ground long forgotten, all that he can think about is how nice you feel in his embrace, as though you were made for it.

“Cuddle,” you yawn, rubbing your eyes. “Can’t sleep without you.”

“You miss me that much, dearest?” He teases. “Come along then, you need your sleep.” He pretends as though your words haven’t set his ears on fire, that the sudden rush of warmth in his chest wasn’t caused by your proclamation of how much you wanted his presence and gently guides you back to your tent, barely remembering to pick his book up.

Once he’s tucked you into your bedroll, pushing hair out of your face before you start sneezing from the tickles, he removes his tunic and gets comfortable by your side. The moment he lies down, you snuggle up to him, burying your face in his chest. Your body curls up, fitting against his like a puzzle piece.

“Good night, Astarion,” you murmur drowsily.

“Good night, my sweet,” he runs his fingers through your hair, the motion lulling you to sleep like it always does. He relishes in the way your hair smoothly parts for his fingers, the softness of the strands brushing against his skin. Ever since he introduced his hair routine to you, your hair condition had been improving and he was pleased with how much you loved to show it off to him.

It doesn’t take long for you to drift off, lips parting slightly as your chest gently rises and falls with each breath. Astarion enjoys this part of your nightly cuddles the most, it reminds him of why he fights so hard each and every day. If he had to withstand the exhausting hikes, fights and idiocy of the rest of the party just to see the small smile of contentment on your face when you slept, he would do it for an eternity without hesitation. All that mattered to him was that you were happy, safe. Free.

He gently hums a tune he remembers you humming before, resisting the urge to kiss you over and over again, knowing that it would wake you up. His fingers dance along your back, tracing the scars that mar it. He’s long memorised each and every single one of them, whether it be from the passionate nightly activities or simply cuddling, just like tonight. Even though you find them disgusting, he finds them beautiful. They are signs of what has failed to kill you, of what you’ve pulled through. They told those who saw that that you were strong, that you were a survivor.

He finds himself tracing over the thin scar lines along your arm that wrap around like vines. You’ve never told them where you got them from, each time he tries to breach the topic you shy away, changing the subject with a laugh. He knows glimpses of your past from the nights the two of you have sat together under the moonlight, talking about whatever came to mind at the moment, but he never quite got the full picture. You purposely avoided talking about certain things and he never once probed further out of respect for your privacy, but moments like this make him wonder what someone as cheerful and bright as you had been through to become a completely different person when such topics were discussed.

Still, he won’t push you further than you’re comfortable with. You’ve never done it to him, even if it clearly frustrated you how little he was willing to divulge and he respected you for that. You would tell him about the scars on your arm when you were comfortable with it, he knew, and he could wait. He was a vampire spawn, he had the time to wait.

You shift in your sleep, eyebrows furrowed and fingernails digging into the bedroll beneath. A nightmare .

Astarion gently rubs your back, whispering sweet assurances into your ear and pressing his forehead against yours, hoping it will calm you down. The whimper that escapes your lips breaks his undead heart and he wishes he could enter dreams, just so that he could fight off whatever nightmare was plaguing you tonight.

“It’s alright, love. It’s just a nightmare,” he whispers, despising how powerless he is. “I’m always right here, right by your side.”

“Star,” you whimper, eyes cracking open. “Help. Hurts.”

He desperately presses more kisses to the top of your head, holding you tightly. “I’m right here, I’m right here.”

He repeats the three words over and over again like a mantra, cradling you as you cry into his chest, sobs wracking your body. His hand rests on the back of your head, his body curled around yours to shield you from the world.

“Let it all out. No one else is here,” he murmurs. You cry even harder at his words, gasping between each sob until you have no tears left to give. He ignores how your fingernails have dug into his shoulders so much that you’ve drawn blood, far more concerned about how you are feeling.

“I’m sorry,” the words feel thick in your throat. You wipe your eyes, looking up at him with such pain in your eyes and sniffle.

“Don’t be, love. We all need a little space to cry.” He presses his lips to your warm, tear-stained skin, willing all your pain away.

Wrapped in his comforting embrace, you slowly drift back to sleep with the feeling of his hand rubbing circles on your back. Once he’s sure you’ve properly fallen asleep, he lets himself slip into a meditative half-trance, but always keeps an ear out for you just in case. He won’t ever leave you to face your demons alone. You’d do the same for him anyways, he’s just repaying the favour, right?

You reach out towards him in your slumber, throwing an arm around him so that you can pull him closer. Your breath tickles his skin and something within his chest squeezes, taking his breath away.

I love you, his lips form the words but no sound comes out. Watching your now peacefully slumbering form, his undead heart comes back to life but words still fail him. For now, he’ll resign himself to practising the words so that when the moment comes, he will be able to say them, and know you will say them back.

[minus-plus-zer0]

okay hear me out. bakugo x reader but the reader’s entire family just died in a villain accident and they go mia and don’t talk to anyone for a month?? and bakugo sees them on a bus/crossing the street/at a cafe or smth like that

I hope I interpreted this correctly, I wrote the reader as if they had left for a month entirely, rather than being physically present but mentally/socially withdrawn for a month. Anyways, thank you for requesting!

Disappearance of You

♡ Genre: Angst, hurt/comfort ♡ Pairing: Bakugou x Reader

The news cycle had since forgotten what happened, but Bakugou didn't.

That villain triggered the rest of these events to go into motion. After your entire family died, you disappeared. You didn't even text Bakugou, your one and only best friend. Your friends were worried sick, but nobody worried more than Bakugou.

After spending every single day with you, Bakugou couldn't suddenly go without contact. In fact, he was afraid he'd never see you again. Even if this incident changed you, even if you weren't the same, he needed to see you. Bakugou didn't let many people into his life, so when he had someone he cared about, he didn't easily let go.

Without any friends or family knowing where you were, you were hard to find. But Bakugou knew you better than he knew himself, and he was determined that he would finally you eventually.

Around a month later, the game of hide and seek ended. Bakugou spotted you in the city. It was like witnessing the dead come back to life. He had seen you cross a street wading through the crowd, your appearance and your body language unmistakable. Bakugou sprinted over to you, shoving people past as he yelled out your name.

You glanced back once, but he didn't catch your expression. You sprinted down a deserted alleyway but Bakugou tackled you and caught you on the ground.

"Shit, are you okay? Speak to me, dammit!"

You were not in a good condition, and Bakugou hoped that none of your current health issues were due to him tackling you just now. You looked like you hadn't been eating properly, and he was sad to see that you weren't at all happy to see him.

He pulled you up into a sitting position to hug you dearly. You almost didn't feel real to him. But he needed you back in his arms again, to let his brain know he had finally, finally found you.

At some point your arms curled around his neck, right where they belonged. You felt Bakugou's tears against your neck and you pulled out of the hug to wipe them off his face.

"Don't cry," you said, quietly.

"Don't tell me what to do!" he said, voice shaking. "Where the fuck were you? People thought you were dead! You don't get to just bail on me like that. I don't have anybody else like you. You're my best fucking friend. You're my other half. You don't get to just leave..."

These were the kinds of things Bakugou had kept inside him since you left, since even before you left when he couldn't admit to you how he felt in fear of ruining your friendship. These were the kind of things he couldn't admit to anybody else.

"I just couldn't stick around," you said. "I couldn't be reminded of what happened... but the reminders were everywhere."

"You should've told me." Bakugou's burying his face in your neck again, his sobs now muffled.

After spending enough time holding you, Bakugou finally let go but not without locking your hand in his, if only to make sure you wouldn't abandon him ever again. He didn't know what he would do if he never got to tell you he loved you to your face, and now with you back by his side he's got the chance to do it properly, rather than to a missing person poster... or a grave.

Bakugou texted his mother that he had found you. She pretty much considered you a daughter-in-law already, having seen you countless times with Bakugou everywhere in his life. She was basically awaiting for your marriage plans to be officially announced (you weren't even dating... yet). And although Bakugou didn't always get along with her, he knew that his mom and dad could take good care of you in the meantime while you got back on your feet.

Even if you didn't have a family anymore, Bakugou would just take you back home to his.

[sansaorgana]

Hi Lily!! It’s been awhile, how are you? I just saw your new Benny fic and ran to request another bc I love your writing so much 💞 What are your thoughts about soft!Benny coaxing a nervous reader onto his bike for the first time? Can you imagine those mesmerizing baby blues hovering over you as his deep, soothing voice promises, “I won’t let anything happen to you, baby girl.”

hello, Lee! 💚 it feels nice to see you again 🥺💐 this fic is so Lana Del Rey that I should get sued by her tbh 🙈😭

I had to close my requests for now because I got so many 🙏🏻

“I won’t let anything happen to you, baby girl,” Benny looked deep into your eyes as he leaned in, trying to convince you to hop on his bike after you had left the pub with all the other guys.

You bit on your lower lip and giggled nervously. You had been curious about the bikes for a while now – especially after starting to date a biker. Not any biker but Benny Cross himself on top of that. But still, you were nervous. There were so many accidents, you heard about them every day. And you knew the way Benny was driving – it was careless. You were already worried enough about him.

Whenever he was visiting you, you would play that song by The Shangri-Las “The Leader of The Pack” and he would sigh and roll his eyes.

“Promise me I won’t ever have to cry on this song, Benny,” you would always say and he would stop all the playful expressions.

Because Benny couldn’t promise. He had even mentioned once – drunk on beer – that he would want to die on the road. To die like he was living. You had been sitting in his arms by the bonfire but you had to stand up and walk away after hearing that; to hide in Kathy’s car and cry a little.

You would always go to the meetings in someone’s car. You knew it was a little ridiculous considering the fact you were dating a biker but…

“I promised my ma that I would never ride that beast,” you batted your eyelashes at him. “She let me go out with you on that condition,” you reminded him.

“Baby,” Benny put his hands on your shoulders to move you away slightly from the road at the sight of other gang members hopping on their bikes to drive away. “I’m gonna be slow and careful, come on. I won’t even go past the speed limit with you in the back, I promise,” he put his right hand on his chest where his heart was. “You’re my pretty lil’ dollie, I won’t anything bad happen to you.”

“Why do you care so much about it, Benny?” You bit on your lower lip and looked into his eyes, trying to understand.

“It’s somethin’ I love. Somethin’ I’m excited about. I want you to try at least once. Want you to know what I’m talkin’ about and… Yeah, it’s a nice feelin’. Want you to experience it, okay?” He booped you on the nose. “Please, one time. I would never break the law with you in the back.”

“Well, if so… Then I should be always riding with you, don’t you think?” You teased with a wink and took a deep breath in. “Okay, fine.”

“No, no, don’t fine me, baby. You gotta want it, I don’t want to force you,” Benny shook his head and fixed one of the rings on his fingers nervously.

“I want it, Benny. I mean it. I’ve been curious for some time, I’m just…” You took a deep breath in. “I’m a chicken.”

Benny chuckled at that.

“Yeah, you are,” he nodded and hopped onto his bike before looking back with a daring look on his face and an eyebrow raised.

“What?!” You gasped. “You were supposed to deny it!”

“Well, I didn’t,” he shrugged. “You comin’ or what?”

You laughed at him and rolled your eyes before clumsily getting behind him. He moved forward to give you more space and when you felt like you were comfortable enough, he reached to the back and grabbed your hands to wrap them around his torso.

“Pat me on the chest if you want me to stop,” he told you. “I’m starting the engine now,” he warned and you nodded before swallowing a lump in your throat. You liked that he was talking you through it, it was making everything easier.

The act of starting the engine was pretty aggressive. He kicked his boot and jumped as the motorbike roared like a lion and you felt fresh sweat droplets forming on your back. So, that was it. You would ride a motorbike now.

When he started driving, at first you got a little dizzy and felt as if you were about to fall down. You clung to him with all your force and felt him chuckle as you moved as close as possible and leaned your cheek on his back and closed your eyes, too scared to open them.

“Keep your eyes open, baby!” You heard his voice and you sighed. You hated how well he knew you already. So, you forced yourself to flutter your eyelids open as your fingers dug even further into his jean vest.

It was a warm summer evening and the sun was slowly setting in pink and orange hues. Benny was driving you out of town and into the cornfields, into the infinite open road where the horizon seemed to be a beautiful and an unreachable dream.

You gasped at the sight and moved your face away from his back to let the warm breeze tickle your skin as you kept looking around in awe. You suddenly understood everything. Everything.

You had been asking Benny many times before to explain to you what was that about the road that he loved so much but he never knew how to put it into words. Now you understood that there were no words to describe that feeling. It felt unearthly – the freedom, the sudden lightness of being. The infinite amount of possibilities to just keep driving and getting lost, starting a new life in a different state or crashing against the truck. Yeah, you even understood now what he meant when he had said he would want to die on the road. You understood even that.

Riding the motorbike made you feel invincible. You were immortal, you were one with the road, with the American land, with the pink and orange skies, with the badlands and with the desert. With the cornfields and The Grand Canyon. You loosened your grip on Benny’s vest once you began to feel more comfortable and steady but you leaned in again to let your lips brush the sensitive skin behind his ear. Your hot breath over him as you kissed his pulse point before whispering the words you had never expected you to say:

“Faster, Benny. Go faster,” you pleaded and leaned back again.

You felt his hesitation for a moment but then the engine roared again and you smiled at the feeling of him speeding up. It was a real beast that Harley. It was big and shiny and heavy. A prince of the road, you thought, with only good ol’ Cadillac earning the name of The King.

Benny was going faster and faster as the sun was setting and you couldn’t help the feeling you wanted to crash with him. Maybe not now but one day – two young lovers tied forever in the act of tragic death. Like in the movies. Perhaps the movies had messed too much with your head. And in this moment you actually loved America. And everything it was standing for.

You pouted when Benny turned around to take you back to town. You didn’t want him to. You wanted him to keep driving and take you to the motel and in the morning to keep driving further, to start a new life somewhere or keep the life on the road. Together. Like a modern day Bonnie and Clyde or Jack Kerouac.

He slowed down again once you were back in town and he took you right home. When he parked the bike in front of your house, it felt like you had just awakened from a dream.

Holding onto his waist, you clumsily hopped off the motorbike and took a step ahead to be able to face him.

“And?” He asked, raising his eyebrows.

“Oh, Benny…” You didn’t know where to start. You suddenly remembered all the thoughts you had on the back of his bike but now you were ashamed of them. It was like having sex – after the high was gone, you no longer liked the obscene things that were turning you on while it lasted.

“What? Thought you liked it,” Benny sighed.

“I did! Too much, perhaps,” you explained as your cheeks heated up and you bit on your lower lip. “I don’t think it’s good for me, though. I don’t think I should keep riding. It’s messing with my head,” you confessed and Benny chuckled at you.

“But now you understand?” He asked with hope in his voice.

“I do,” you nodded with all seriousness. “Everything.”

“Good,” he nodded back. “Goodnight kiss for Benny?”

“Goodnight kiss for Benny,” you nodded with a chuckle and leaned in to cup his face and join your lips together with a smile. “Be careful,” you whispered and watched him drive away.

But on your way from the driveway to the front door of your house, you had a feeling, somewhere deep inside, that it had not been the last time you were on that goddamn Harley.

MASTERLIST || BENNY MASTERLIST

[sc0tters]

Once More | Jack Hughes

summary: when Quinn invites you back to the lake house it forces you to reconvene with your ex. What happens when Jack misses you just as much as you miss him?

trope: exes to lovers

request: yes/no

warnings: minimal swearing

word count: 1.98k

authors note: I have been in a Hughes boy mood since yesterday so it only felt right giving another one of the boys some attention. Also in honour of me getting my Hughes jersey today this was only fair. Is it wrong of me to say that I sorta hated this one, like soft Jack is not my strong suit. If you want to check out more of the 500 celly you can do so here!

Being back there you knew it was going to be tough on your heart.

Quinn had invited you to the family lake house for the summer. Everything told you that you should just say no, but when the boy reminded you of the promise you had given him prior to the start of your relationship with Jack you knew you had no choice but to go.

You had started being friends with Quinn during college and everyone thought that the two of you would become an item. It was hard not to think that when he spent every second away from the rink hanging out with you.

When he brought you back to the lake house that summer Ellen and Jim swore the announcement of your relationship would come in the upcoming days. Of course it never did and instead you caught the eye of the middle Hughes boy, Jack instead.

Quinn wasn’t stupid, he saw the way you looked at Jack and how Jack looked at you.

So it was no surprise that by December of your junior year Jack asked you out. At first you were hesitant because of what Quinn might think yet when Quinn’s only condition to the relationship was that you two would always remain friends, you couldn’t help but agree.

That was the start of easily the best three years of your life. The relationship was great, you graduated from Umich and found the job of your dreams in New Jersey so you even got the chance to move in with Jack.

There was no doubt about it, Jack adored you. The goal dedications, the mentions in interviews, the speeding back from the airport so he could see you before you fell asleep, hell even the sweaty hugs after home games when he’d pick you up and swing you around. All of it was there, and from the outside you two truly looked happy.

The argument had gone on for at least ten minutes by now “do you really want me to miss boys night?” Jack groaned as he crossed his arms.

Of course you wanted him to, you missed your boyfriend and it felt like it should have been your night “if you really want to go then go.” You hoped that your comment would knock some sense into him but instead it just went over his head.

He went to grab his shoes as you decided to drop the bombshell of news “I got a job in California,” you announced as you clenched your fists.

It made the hockey player stop in his tracks “I’m gonna take it.” Up until that moment you really didn’t know if you wanted to take the job, not whilst Jack was still at home.

The devils player swore the world stopped when you told him that “what about us?” Was all he could get out as his chest grew heavy.

You wanted to roll your eyes as you ran your fingers through your hair “you aren’t here half of the time so it’s not like you’re going to notice me being gone.” You pointed out as you shrugged reminding him of the fact that he was spending less of his time in the garden state at the apartment than he did before.

However your comment caused him to scoff “you want me to not work anymore?” He shot back as he pursed his lips int a fine line.

Tears began to well in your eyes “I want you to love me, but I don’t think you’re capable of that anymore.” Your voice and your heart broke as you watched him remain silent.

The sound of his phone pulled your attentions away from each other “Nico is downstairs,” Jack sighed as he read the message the captain sent him saying that he had arrived.

Jack reached for his hat “you leave right now Jack and this is the end of us.” You warned having enough of being second place to hockey in Jacks life.

“I’ll see you around y/n.”

That was four months ago and you had been a wreck. Sure the job in California was a good distraction. You made new friends, Trevor and Alex occasionally checked up on you as they’d visit your office hoping you were doing as poorly as Jack was. Sure it was fucked up but their best friend was a mess so part of them believed that they wouldn’t have to feel as bad for him if you were in the same shoes.

Trevor didn’t notice how well you hid it but when Alex showed up to your apartment with a box of pizza and your favourite tub of ice cream you just broke down in front of him.

You would have liked to say that pulling into the driveway of the lake house you were feeling okay, but in reality you were ready to drive away and pretend you missed your flight.

That was no longer an option though when you were caught “y/n!” Quinn called out as he had walked out to grab something from his car.

Your best friend felt his heart grow warm at the sight of you “can’t believe you’re here.” He mumbled as he pulled you into a hug “made a promise.” You sighed knowing that he was the only thing keeping you there.

It seemed that Quinn didn’t notice how uncomfortable you were when he grabbed your bag from the trunk “the boys are going to be so excited to see you.” Your timing was in your opinion terrible as the boys were all sat on the couch playing an intense game of Mario Kart.

Cole seemed to be winning as Alex threw a pillow in his direction to distract him “don’t tell me you’ve lost your touch Turcotte.” You smiled as the eldest of boys avoided the pillow.

Dating Jack often meant you were used a wall whenever the boys were being stupid, the amount of water balloons you had been hit by were countless.

Three of the four boys seemed excited to see you as they paused the game to come hug you. But Jack remained glued to the couch, mainly because he didn’t think he’d ever see you again. Each time he played in LA he’d call his brother begging for your address because Jack was desperate to see you.

Ever since he walked out of the apartment he regretted that decision, Jack wanted you in his life, more often than not he needed you in it.

An awkward smile was on your face as you locked eyes with him “hey,” your voice was soft when everyone looked between you two.

If you were told that Jack looked as drained as you felt you would have sworn that people were lying to you. But low and behold the dark circles that seemed etched onto his face reminded you of how he was during his rookie season. Sleep deprived and broken making you feel guilty about leaving him.

Yes it was the best thing for your relationship that seemingly lost its spark. Yet it hurt because you still loved Jack just as much as you did when you believed you were crazy about him.

Quinn didn’t let your eyes linger on his brother for long “I’ll show you where you can sleep.” He offered as he placed his hand on your shoulder.

It reminded you of the fact that this was your first time at the brothers lake house that you wouldn’t be sharing a room with Jack “okay,” you nodded as you forced a smile onto your lips.

The next few hours were awkward, even the way the setting sun painted the skys a range of oranges to pinks couldn’t shake your thoughts of disappointment. You never expected to be best friends with Jack after you broke up but what you didn’t think was that it would be so awkward between you two “just go talk to her!” Quinn groaned as he noticed Jack stood by the sliding glass door as he stared at you.

You were sat on the swinging bench that you built with Jim one weekend as you were desperate to have one and he had the tool knowledge “what do I even say to her?” Jack had gone through all the different scenarios in his head and each time he got to you nothing came out of his mouth.

The Canucks player sighed “maybe start with giving her a refill,” he proposed as he noticed that the glass bottle beside you was empty.

When Jack didn’t move Quinn knew he had to say something more “all she wanted was to know that you love her.” The older Hughes boy explained as you had let the reason why you were so hurt slip one night to Quinn.

That message seemed to knock some sense into Jack as he nodded “thanks bro,” he mumbled as he pulled his brother into a hug.

Quinn wanted to laugh at his brothers gesture “just no breaking her heart for a second time.” The Canucks player warned as he pointed his finger at the devils player who nodded.

As much as Quinn wanted to be nosy and watch the interaction he instead decided to leave in fear of you kissing the middle Hughes “can I sit here?” Jack asked as he held out one of the drinks in his hand to you.

It should have taken you longer but you were quick to nod “sure,” you shifted over to the side so he could sit with you.

This was the first time that Jack got to look at you properly, your hair had grown and you seemed to pick up a tan in California “how have you been?” You opened the top of the bottle before you took a sip from it.

It made Jacks heart break “I love you,” he blurted out taking you by surprise.

Not often did he leave you speechless but this was a time he needed you to remain quiet “I miss the sound of you singing along to your playlists when I come home from practice. Even how I find your hair in the weirdest places!” That comment made you laugh “but fuck I miss you so much that I don’t want to be home anymore.” Tears formed in his eyes as he scanned your face for any type of reaction.

You wanted to jump into his arms, truly you did “I can’t move back yet,” you confessed as you had another year on your contract before you could transfer.

Jacks hand reached out for yours “I know baby,” his thumb rubbed against your skin as he smiled enjoying the feeling of your skin on his.

The reservations still remained in your head “I’m fine being second to hockey but I can’t be third to your friends again.” You chewed at the inside of your cheek as you tried not to cry.

The devils player used his other hand to cup your cheek forcing you to look at him “the moment you aren’t number one in my life I’ll let Luke hit me.” Another laugh left your lips as Luke was always stronger than his brother, especially over recent years.

Now seemed like the right time to just throw caution to the wind for you “I love you too,” you smiled when the boy wrapped his arms around you pulling you onto his lap.

Jack continue to place kisses against your face causing you to throw your head back with giggles “Jacky!” You squealed finally getting a moment to breathe.

“You’re my world baby, and I won’t let you forget it.”

[theemporium]

hi cece congrats on 10k! what an amazing accomplishment! can i request a 💜violet fluff with luke hughes for this prompt please: "Please, never apologise for wanting to be loved."

ps the cocktail celebration is so fun and unique i love it!

thank you for requesting!🫶🏽

53. "Please, never apologise for wanting to be loved."

.

Sometimes, it was easy to forget what different worlds you and Luke came from.

Family was everything he knew growing up. There wasn’t a day in his life that he doubted his parents or his brothers wouldn’t have his back, wouldn’t stand by his side, wouldn’t be there for him if he asked. Despite the petty fights and dramatic tantrums, the Hughes family were a tight-knit, loving family who only wanted to see each other thrive. They wanted the best for each other. They loved each other unconditionally. They were what people imagined—what people dreamed of—when they thought of family.

You couldn’t say the same for yourself.

It wasn’t like you grew up in a bad or horrible household, it just felt like you had to earn the right to be there. Because yes, you had food on your plate and a roof over your head and got gifts on your birthday. But you didn’t receive any of those things without being told how much effort it took to give you those things, to be constantly reminded how much of a burden you were, to constantly feel like things would be easier if you weren’t there. 

Because yes, your achievements were celebrated and you knew you were loved. But it was conditional. The happiness and love and affection came with a price. It constantly felt like you were in a competition, and no matter how much you did, you could never win. It felt like an uphill battle that never ended. 

And it was something Luke could never quite comprehend. Not that you wanted him to ever know. But sometimes, it still took him by surprise. 

You tried to avoid phone calls as best as you could. They were usually draining and long-winded, and it wasn’t a situation you always wanted to put yourself in. But you were riding the high of feeling happy and proud of yourself, of your own achievements.

And, like always, you convinced yourself it wouldn’t be that bad this time round. 

But it was. It always fucking was.

A happy, quick phone call turned into an hour-long lecture about how you don’t call home enough, how you wouldn’t be where you were without them, how you were ungrateful and greedy and still not good enough. 

You had mentally checked out by the time Luke wandered into the room, his brows furrowed in confusion when he didn’t hear you call back out as he arrived. He only heard snippets of the berating voice over the phone before he stepped in, making up some trivial excuse that you doubted your parents believed before he hung up. 

You couldn’t even bring yourself to say ‘thank you’ as he climbed into the bed next to you, saying nothing as he wound his arms around your body and hauled you onto his chest until almost every inch of you was pressed against him.

“I just wanted to tell them the good news,” you eventually spoke, your voice a little croaky and your words accompanied by sniffles. “I thought they’d be happy but—”

His arms tightened around you. 

“M’sorry,” you murmured, letting out a breath as you tried to sit up a little. “You just came back from practice, you do not need to hear about my issues when you’re probably tired—”

“Hey,” Luke interrupted, his lips turned downwards and his expression mimicking one of a kicked puppy. “Please never apologise for wanting to be loved or appreciated.”

You let out a shaky breath, feeling the emotions get caught up in your throat.

“I love you,” Luke said, so firmly that there wasn’t even any room for the doubting voices in your head to question him. “And I am so fucking proud of you, baby. Always. You always have me.”

“I love you too,” you whispered because it was all you could bring yourself to say at that moment before you laid your head down on his chest, basking in the feeling of Luke’s arms tightening around you.

.

[wonijinjin]

enhypen members with a s/o who has migraines

author’s note: i don’t really get headaches, but many of my friends do so this may be inaccurate, but i still hope it gives you comfort

synopsis: what the title says

word count: 1.3k | genre: fluff, comfort | pairings: enhypen members x gn! reader | warnings: mentions of migraines, throwing up, fainting, food, diets

“baby, you in here? why is it so dark?” heeseung asked upon stepping into your beroom; curtains closed, lamp swithced off and you in bed greeted him. you explained that you had a migraine, voice strained and tired. “i am sorry to hear that you are suffering. tell me, how can i help you, my love?” he would ask with a sad face and would run around the house, doing everyting in his power to make your pain more bearable.

- he would be quite worried about your condition since he has never seen you be in this much pain, so the first time it happens he would be a little lost in how to help, hence why he would he following orders like a robot

- would get all the fuzzy blankets and wrap you up because he believes that sleep can solve everything

- bonus points for being great at humming sweet melodies to you so you could sleep more easily since the silence was too loud for you to deal with

jay knew something was wrong when he heard your whimpers in the middle of the night; when he saw you cluthing your head in pain he didn’t hesitate to pull you into his hold. “it’s happening again sweetheart? i am so sorry, i wish i could take it away.” he would kiss your temple, trying to rock you back into sleep so maybe the migraine would pass during the night.

- hubby material, he would research how to help after you told him that you get migrains easily, so when it happened for the first time boy was prepared, hot water bottles and painkillers in the nightstand cabinet ready

- makes you drink lots of water throughout the day because it helps with circlation and more oxygen getting into your brain so it passes quicker

- bonus points to him for massaging your scalp for long periods of time to give you some relief, even if his hands are already tired

when jake got a call that you had fainted thanks to your migraine he got really worried really fast, picking you up right away. “sweetie, shouldn’t we go to the doctors? your headaches seem to get so severe, i don’t think this is normal.” he would suggest while helping you sit down as soon as the two of you got home. when you said this was fine and this had happened before he got even more upset, swearing that he would be by your side every time this happened.

- like hee he is a bit of a clueless puppy aswell, needs you to tell him how these things work at the beginning, but after that he is the best nurse ever

- finds out eating a certain type of vitamins can help with the frequency of the migraines, and takes precautions by reminding you to eat them from time to time

- bonus points to him for ordering your favourite food when you are in pain, so at least you have a filled stomach (he thinks being hungry worsens the symptoms)

at first hoon doesn’t know you have a migraine since he finds you throwing up in the bathroom and thinks you have caught a bug. “oh pretty, at least you are not sick, it will pass soon, i know it.” he holds you after talking to you about the real cause, rocking you back and forward. he takes you back to bed and gives you painkillers to ease the discomfort, then would pour out water in a cup and some crackers in a bowl so you could refill the lost nutritions in your system.

- he has had migraines in the past so boy knows how exhausting they can be, making him the perfect boyfriend to treat you, being silent so he doesn’t disrupt you further

- he would be jumping around to provide the best circumstances to your rest, putting a cool pack on your head and elevating your legs so you get more oxygen flowing to your head

- bonus points for calling his mom to help him cook something for you to surprise you

sunoo was cuddling with you when he sensed how your muscles tensed in his hold, and how his shirt got wet by tears spilling from your eyes. “sunshine, does something hurt anywhere? tell me where it hurts so i can kiss it better.” he would whisper to you softly. upon you showing him silently how your head was the source of the prolem he placed a soft kiss onto the crown of your head, whispering sweet nothings in your ear.

- he is a very bubbly boy, and his emotions can always be read from his face so he is on full sulky mode, he might not be the most useful person to help you at first as he is occupied by being upset since his baby is in pain

- he is even more gentle with you while your migraines are active, so scared to even touch you because he is worried that he would do more harm to you

- bonus points to him for making a bubble bath for you and doing a skincare night aswell to pamper you a bit after your symptoms get better

when jungwon got a call from you that you couldn’t make it to the dinner date because you had a bad migraine he was immediately on his way to give you all his love. “cutie, i got you some ice cream, a bit of a cool treat for your migraine.” he giggled while he searched for you under the covers. “i will make sure my cutie has everything they need to make this bad headache go away, alright? so just tell me what you need.” he whispered while rubbing your back as you curled up into his warmth.

- he is very understanding regarding having to postpone programs and he is naturally worried about you more than a simple reservation

- tries to make you laugh to forget about pain by making silly jokes and showing you cute videos of cats on youtube (which works most of the time and brings you to a discussion about how he is just like a cute cat, you even forgetting that the migraine existed)

- bonus points to him for getting you the ice cream mentioned above along with many sweets even if you say you are on a diet

riki noticed how your movements were a bit sluggish compared to how you were very energetic every time you were in the practice room with him. “babe, are you okay? you seem to be under the weather. is it just one of those days?” he asked while capturing you in a bear hug from behind. when he found out your head was starting to hurt he ran to stop the music and tried to get you to sit down right way. “i have medicine in my bag, let’s get one in you with a little water, okay?”

- he is a baby himself, but he is a responsible person so his top priority would be getting you into a comfortable position as soon as you drink and eat something

- he would let you rest on him (which is rare snce is isn’t the clingiest on a regular day) and when you fell asleep he would silently whisper to whoever is above to stop your pain

- bonus points to him for having your migraine medication with him in a little pouch after the first time you get one in front of him, and reminding you to take some in advance if there’s a big change in weather or you have to work a lot in a short period of time to prevent them

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for threatening to kick my cousin out for breaking my house rules?

For context, I (28F) live alone with my golden retriever and two cats in a reasonable spacious house. I work from home as a baker. This is all relevant to the story so I decided to clarify from the beginning.

My cousin Lily (26F) broke up with her girlfriend. They lived together, but the apartment belonged to the girlfriend so Lily had to leave. Since I'm the only one in our family that didn't cut ties with her due to her sexuality (as I am also a lesbian like her, although I'm closeted to our relatives except her), she asked to stay in my place while she looked for somewhere to leave. She also asked if she could bring her pug too, since the dog was hers to begin with and the girlfriend didn't want to keep her. I said yes.

I have to clarify from the start that, in almost every aspect, Lily has been a great guest. She helps me with house chores, with the bills and the groceries, she's not messy or noisy and she respects my boundaries. Her pug (I'll call her Daisy) is also a very sweet, docile dog who gets along well with my dog and cats. Separatedly, both of them are perfect.

The problem is that, in order to spoil Daisy as much as she's used to, Lily keeps breaking some very basic rules I established when she came to live here. One of these rules is that no pets are allowed in the kitchen. My kitchen is my workplace and it has to be impecably clean at all times. One day I came home earlier than expected from the market and Lily was in the kitchen feeding Daisy. I reminded Lily that Daisy was not allowed in the kitchen and she laughed it off, although she looked a bit uncomfortable. I asked her if she let Daisy in the kitchen everytime I wasn't home and she tried to derail the subject, which was enough of an answer for me. I had to clean the whole kitchen afterwards because I had a cake scheduled for that day and I almost didn't finish it in time because of the delay.

Another rule Lily broke is that she couldn't give Daisy my dog's snacks. My dog has heart issues and I give him some (very expensive) medicinal snacks that help him with his condition. It was pretty obvious Lily was giving Daisy the snacks anyway by how fast they ended and, when I confronted Lily about it, she just said Daisy loved the snacks and she just couldn't deny her baby what she wanted.

The worst happened when she broke the most important rule: never, NEVER leave the backyard door open. My cats are indoor cats and my neighborhood has heavy traffic and also a bunch of malicious people who hate cats. The outdoors are very dangerous for them, so the backyard door needs to be left closed at all times. One day, I came home to a desperate Lily that, after a lot of hesitation, said that one of my cats ran through the backyard door and disappeared. When I asked (kinda yelled, I was panicking) why the fuck that door was open, she confessed she let Daisy walk a bit in the backyard and, since she needed to keep an eye on her but she also wanted to stay on the couch, she left the door open and one of the cats left.

I had a lot of luck that one of my neighbors found my cat the following day and was able to return him to me, but it was then that I decided that a serious talk with Lily was in order. My cat was okay and back home in a miracle, but a lot of horrible things could have happened to him.

So that's what I did. I sat down with Lily and told her that, although she was very dear to me and it was a pleasure to have her and Daisy with me, she was breaking several rules that I established on her first day with me and, after what happened to my cat, I couldn't stay silent anymore.

When I started to cite the rules she broke, she would always answer something in the lines of "but I could do this in my house". Pets aren't allowed in the kitchen? Daisy was allowed everywhere in her house. Daisy can't eat my dog's snacks? Daisy could eat whatever she wanted in her house. The backyard door has to be always closed? In her house the doors were always open.

Here is where I probably was the asshole. In a very calm tone, I told her that this is not her house, it's my house. She's not my roommate, she's my guest and, as a guest, she's in no right to choose which rules she wants to follow. She has to follow all of the rules and, if she's not okay with that, she will have to look for another place to stay.

She understood that as me kicking her out (I'm not, if she start doing things right she's welcome to stay as long as she needs) and now she's deeply upset with me. She's not leaving her room (neither is Daisy, I guess she thinks I have a problem with her dog too) and she's ignoring all of my attempts to talk to her.

I'm feeling really bad about this outcome, since this isn't what I wanted at all, but I do think I endured a lot and her endangering my cats wasn't something I could ignore.

Should I had handled this in a different way, tho? Was I TA?

What are these acronyms?

[sabrgirl]

4 habits that will change your life ✨

istighfar x100 a day

i cannot stress enough how powerful istighfar is. when i first started doing this x100 a day, i almost told my therapist i don't need therapy anymore because life suddenly got so much better lol. obviously, that didn't last because life isn't consistent and stable like that. nonetheless, istighfar protects you, it gives you strength through Allah's Mercy, it brings you closer to Him, it grants you peace and happiness. it doesn't take too long to do 100 times a day. just sit there after a prayer, i picked fajr, and recite 'astagfirullah' on your fingers like you would usually do tasbih after salah, or use beads etc. it takes about 5 minutes of your day and will change your life. try it every day for 1 week and see what happens.

dhikr when you wake up and before you go to bed

by doing this, you're starting and ending your day with the remembrance of Allah. my grandma used to say that the way you start your morning determines the rest of your day. it's also scientifically proven that the first thing your brain gets dopamine from is what your brain is going to look for the rest of the day. for eg, if you go on your phone as soon as you wake up, you're more likely to be tapping your phone, scrolling, going on your phone for the rest of the day. because it sets the tone!

so, if you start your day with the remembrance of Allah, not only are you getting blessings for it and improving your relationship with Him, but you'll set the tone for the rest of the day and will probably be more inclined to do dhikr later on too. i can testify that it definitely works. it's the best way to get your day started.

and when you end with dhikr, it's the same thing but in reverse--a peaceful way to end the day, easier to fall asleep and a great way to feel connected to Allah سُبْحَٰنَهُۥ وَتَعَٰلَىٰ. it's also scientifically proven that the condition you fall asleep in usually stays with the person all night. think about a time you've had such a good day/night and you fall asleep happy. did you wake up feeling good? what about when you've fallen asleep crying or upset? maybe the sleep was so good after but did you still wake up happy? so, if you go to sleep in a state of remembering Allah, you'll likely wake up in that state too.

now think about the benefits of doing dhikr as you go to bed and wake up every single day. you'll always be in a state of the remembrance of Allah! the Prophet ﷺ used to recite the last three surah's of the qur'an, ayatul kursi and the last two verses of surah baqarah. you can do any dhikr you'd like, 'subhanallah wa bihamdi' or 'alhamdulillah' or 'astagfirullah'. pick whatever you like.

surah mulk before bed

It was narrated from Abu Hurairah that the Prophet (ﷺ) said:

"There is a surah in the Qur'an, with thirty verses, which will intercede for its companion (the one who recites it) until he is forgiven: Tabarakal-ladhi bi yadihil mulk (Blessed is He in Whose Hand is the Dominion)." - Surah Mulk (Sunan Ibn Majah 3786)

surah mulk has lots of benefits, and Abdullah bin Mas‘ud (one of the companions of our beloved Prophet ﷺ) narrated that “whoever recites Surah al-Mulk every night, Allah will prevent the punishment of grave by this Surah”. 

so clearly, there are a lot of benefits by reciting this surah that we will thank ourselves for in the next life - preparing for our akhirah (afterlife) is very important. you'll also end your day with the remembrance of Allah and have the specific reminder through this surah that everything belongs to Allah and is under His control. it helps me have nice dreams too.

it's not very long, it has 30 verses so it won't take a really long time.

learning a new surah bimonthly

this helps you build a relationship with the Qur'an and is a nice challenge for you to incorporate into your life. i recommend reading the translation and commentary of the surah first, so that you don't simply memorise it but know what it's about, what Allah is trying to say with the chapter and how you can live by it. but incorporating the memorisation of Allah's words into your life is a gamechanger: you'll build a bond with Allah, with the Qur'an and also with your salah too. because it's always exciting to be able to recite a new surah in your prayers - being able to do that multiple times a year is great.

start small and you will turn these all of these into habits. remember that the Prophet ﷺ said that 'the best of deeds are those which are done consistently, even if it is a little' (Sunan Ibn Majah 4240). what do we call things that are done consistently? habits!

start with one and do it every day for 30 days. then keep going and slowly add another once the first one has become fully established as a habit. sometimes we want to rush and do everything all at once and change our lives overnight. that's the worst thing to do because you'll either never do it or, you will start, then become so overwhelmed with so many new things to do that the habits won't stay and won't be long term. don't worry, we have our whole lives :) start slow and your life will change for the better. may Allah make it easy for us all, Ameen ♡

[kieran-granola]

Sweet Sorries

(This is a little JayTim Chanukah gift for @silver-snow-77! Thank you for being a lot of fun 💕)

“We missed you at the Manor.”

Jason doesn't flinch but he tenses, his shoulders drawing up as he sets his helmet down on the table. Slowly, he turns around to find Tim sitting at his kitchen table all bundled up in a cozy sweater and scarf. The plate of sufganiyot that Jason cooked and abandoned earlier that day is waiting in front of him, the shape of it somehow accusing in the semi-darkness.

“Who’s we exactly?” Jason asks as he unholsters his guns. 

In the kitchen, Tim shrugs. “Alfred. Bruce. Damian. Me. Take your pick.”

Following his well-practiced routine, Jason unloads his weapons and puts them away in his safe. He'll need to clean them later — to make sure everything will be in working order tomorrow when he heads out into the streets again — but he's got more pressing concerns for now.

“You see me practically everyday, birdie.”

“We don't celebrate Hanukkah everyday, though.”

Jason shrugs off his leather jacket and sprawls on his couch to work on removing his boots. “Technically, for a week, we do.”

Tim's tongue clicks. “Jason.”

“Timothy,” Jason deadpans.

They stare at each other in silence for a minute, then Tim sighs. His shoulders droop, hurt clear on his face. When he speaks, his voice is thin.  “Why didn't you show up? I wanted to spend the night with you. I thought—I was hoping that you wanted to celebrate with me too.”

Shame and guilt bloom in Jason's stomach. Fuck. He's an asshole. He was so caught up in his insecurities, so worried about Bruce's judgment and Alfred's disapproval, that he didn't stop to consider whether Tim would be hurt by his absence. Stomach turning into a mess of knots, he kicks his boots off and stands up. 

“I'm sorry. I was planning to go. I mean—” he gestures to the plate of pastries, “—I even baked. But then I just… I don't know. I couldn't do it.”

Tim bites his lip. “You got scared.”

“I guess.”

“You could have told me. I would have spent the evening with you, we could have—”

“No!” Jason blurts out. “No. It's—You shouldn't have to skip family celebrations just because you decided to fuck the local pariah.”

Tim goes stock-still, his expression smoothing out into an impenetrable mask. “Is that what we're doing? Fucking?”

Dozens of memories flit through Jason’s mind — Tim's smile over shared fries, his strong fingers digging bruises into Jason's hips, heated debates in front of the TV, and days spent curled up together in bed — and his heart stutters. Dammit. He didn’t mean to imply that what they have isn’t serious. 

“No, it's not,” he says slowly. “You know it's not. You're as much of a detective as I am. You’ve got to know how I feel about you.”

“By that logic, you have to know how I feel about you too. But you still left me hanging at the Manor tonight.” 

Jason looks away. Maybe he does know. Maybe he remembers the way Tim took care of him when he was sick despite his own weakened immune system. Maybe he can picture the smile that blooms on his face whenever he wakes up next to Jason. Maybe he knows the shape of Tim's feelings intimately. Maybe he's let him write them across his bones with every kiss and touch.

Maybe it's not enough to compensate for his fear of Bruce anyway.

“I'm sorry,” he repeats. “I should have warned you. I was too caught up in my issues with B to think about you and that was unfair of me. I'll do better next time.”

Tim gives him a long, inscrutable look. Then he sighs. “Alright.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. I’ve got my own hang-ups when it comes to Bruce, so… Apology accepted. On one condition.”

“Anything you want. Just say the word.”

“I want a sufganiyah,” Tim replies lightly. “And a kiss.”

Gratitude fills Jason’s chest with sunshine. He doesn’t know what he was expecting, but it definitely wasn’t Tim’s playful answer. To be forgiven so easily and reminded that Tim cares for him all in one fell swoop… It’s a gift he never thought he’d be given.

Eyes stinging, he moves closer and pushes the plate towards Tim. “Take as many as you want. Hell, eat them all. I can always make more.”

Tim grabs a beignet. He takes a bite, and powdered sugar sticks to his mouth, bright and enticing. 

Jason leans in reflexively at the sight. Every inch of him longs for a taste of Tim’s sweetness. As clumsy with his words as he can be, he knows exactly how to touch Tim by now. How to handle him with the care and reverence he doesn’t know how to express when he’s not borrowing a poet’s words. 

(Art commissioned from the lovely @coffeexrage)

Tim notices him staring. He lifts his chin and gives Jason an expectant look, his blue eyes impossibly bright. “Well? That’s only half of what I asked for. Where’s my kiss?”

Laughing quietly, Jason crosses the distance between them and kisses the tip of Tim’s freckled nose. “There.”

Tim scrunches up his nose. “I meant a proper kiss.”

“Finish eating, you gremlin. I’ll kiss you as many times as you want after.”

“You sure about that?” Tim grins slyly. “Because I might need a kiss every day until I die.”

Jason rolls his eyes even as his heart misses a beat. “You drive a hard bargain.”

“Oh, I can drive it harder.” Tim gives him an exaggerated wink.

Flushing, Jason takes a sufganiyah and pushes it against Tim’s lips to shut him up. “Eat or you won’t get any kisses at all.”

“Yessir.” Half-laughing, Tim takes a bite and the two of them share a smile. 

Jason doesn’t know what tomorrow will be like — whether Tim will insist on going to the Manor to light the candles again, and whether he’ll have the strength to accompany him if he does. What he does know, though, is that Tim’s gentle warmth is enough to make him want to keep making an effort. He might never be able to mend things with Bruce, he still damn well intends to nurture his relationship with Tim.

One kiss at a time.

[angstbyangeline]

Hatred Within The Masterpiece

Reiner Braun x gn!reader

genre: angst

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪

Renier woke up from another nightmare. He reaches out for… nothing. Just a nightmare. Porco was sitting in a chair next to Renier’s bed.

“Sounded like you were having an extra sweet dream. So I’d thought I’d like you enjoy it.”

“You saved my life back there, thanks Galliard. I owe you.”

“Don’t want your thanks. If I had inherited the armored titan nine years ago, none of this would’ve happened. My brother would still be alive because he wouldn’t have gotten eaten trying to protect you. And I saw Ymir's memories. I saw you through her memories. You acted like the tough, reliable type. Not at all like yourself.. I also saw how close you got to a certain… devil.”

Renier’s eyes widened in realization. He jumps from the bed and quickly crawls over to Porco in the chair. He grabs the hem of Porco’s shirt.

Renier pleads, “Porco, please! I know you don’t owe me a thing. But please, I never would fall in love with a devil. It had been years- I- I was bored. I wanted comfort. Please don’t report me…”

Tears welled up in Renier’s eyes as he remembered you. He couldn’t let anyone on Marley know of you. It would be shameful for him to have fallen for an ‘island devil’.

“I don’t believe you. From the memories, you seemed pretty in love. So give me one hell of a reason why I shouldn’t report you?!” Porco’s word held so much hate for Renier and his devil.

“They were the only reason I didn’t go insane on that island. Yes, they’re a devil but not like the rest of them. They’re a good person but they mean little to me now…” First part was true, the last was a lie.

Porco scoffed, Reiner contradicted himself. He hated Reiner but decided to let him slide as he just came back to Marley.

Pieck then walked in on crunches. Reminding Porco to remain kind to Reiner. She’s too kind to him. The duo had a bit of small talk while Porco walked out of the room. Pieck left the room as well after some friendly chatter.

Reiner lays back down. He grips the pocket on his shirt tightly. Them he unbuttons it and pulls out a thick folded up paper. Unfolding it to reveal a beautiful portrait of you.

The portrait drawn by one of your best friends, Jean. Reiner had bribed Jean with extra food during their cadet training days. All Reiner wanted was a drawing of you. Jean found it cheesy, annoying but accepted anyway. There was also the condition that you shouldn’t know anything about the drawing and the situation.

To play this off, Jean pretended to have you, Sasha and Connie pose. You were pretty excited to be posing and to see the finished product. But you never saw it and neither did Connie or Sasha. You honestly forgot about it after a couple days but the pair whined to Jean unapologetically to see the drawing. Forcing Jean to pull them aside and explain the situation. Jean had to explain and emphasize that they are not to spill a word about this to you. They agreed but loosely joked about the situation to themselves no matter how nearby you were. Leaving you confused often as they wouldn’t explain what was so funny.

Reiner asked for the drawing a little after the two of you started seeing each other. He wanted something of you. Knowing it wrong to engage with ‘your kind’. Some days he would tell himself that you didn’t deserve the hate Marley had for you. Others he was distant and ignored you, remembering his mission and original ideologies of Eldians. Regardless of his switch ups, you love him endlessly.

He pulls the drawing out every time he misses you. Now that you knew his secret, his chest physically ached from the pain and betray he inflicted on you.

Reiner told Bertholdt that he wanted to bring you to Marley, by force if he had to. Berthold obviously told Reiner he was insane and Marley would never accept you into their nation. Reiner created every excuse he would use to have Marley let you in. He was very certain of going through with it.

That was until you refused. When Reiner and Bertholdt transformed on the wall, Reiner’s titan held you in its hand. You screamed for Reiner to let go of you. Yelling a string of profanities and how could he have lied and betrayed everyone, how he could betray you.

Reiner wasn’t going to let you go. Holding you so tightly, you swear he had broken your rib cage. No one would have saved you, if it weren’t for Mikasa who was on the side of the wall. With her gear, she swung up and sliced the armored titan’s hand.

You fell onto the top of the wall where you were blown away a second later due to the titan transformations happening around you. You used your ODM gear to stick to the wall. After the brutal wind of the transformations, you had a clear look at the armored titan. Who was looking right back at you. You gave it the most angry heartbroken expression.

“You make me sick!”

Those were the last words you ever told Renier. The same words still ring in his head every time he thinks of you. Words that will forever pierce his heart and mark the day he left you.

He looked at the drawing. It had been a couple years since he received it. It had many wrinkles, water droplets and small tears in the corners from how much it’s endured in his front pocket.

He knew the artist hated him but he was sure the artwork hated him so much more.

[willowed-wisp]

HER KNIGHT, HIS HEART - part eight

previous | next

Ser Harwin Strong x female!OC/ x reader

WARNINGS: swearing, descriptions of childbirth, mentions child loss, suggestive themes, violence, Criston Cole getting his ass kicked

TEN YEARS LATER…

Elspeth was on a mission, her destination were Alicent’s chambers. Every part of the woman was swollen and she didn’t know whether it were her breasts or beneath her diaphragm that burned. It had been like that very early on in her seventh pregnancy.

Nobody was surprised when she popped out an army, the depravity sounding from their chambers… it wouldn’t take a genius to know she’d become pregnant over and over.

Their eldest, Alyric, was three-and-ten while their youngest, Lyonei, was four.

Knocking on the door… she met a mop of platinum blonde, a strong jaw followed. Her stare lasted mere seconds, turning attention to the open-eyed, mortified sister of hers. “Alicent…” Her head shunned away. Now her focus remained on that of the Rogue Prince- who had been tamed by Laena Velaryon that past decade, “What in the hells did you say?”

“Only the truth, daughter…”

Storming over to him, “I will never be your daughter!” She stared up at him, the same scowl he himself had and the same wickedness- even in High Valyrian. It was returned with a smile.

“The blood of the dragon runs thick…” By the Gods, she would stab him if she got the chance.

“I’m nothing like you.”

“That’s yet to be seen.”

She reminded herself of why she was here- why had he been there in the first place? “What business do you have here?”

“I was asking The Queen if my grandchildren might accompany the princes down to the Dragonpit…”

“Can you stop speaking fucking Valyrian? Prince Daemon, please leave. My sister and I have matters to discuss…” He gave a less than respectful bow. They both seethed. “You are his kin. And it somehow slipped your mind to inform me!” That was their mother in her.

Elspeth's own anger boiled deeper- primal even. Yet she contained that eruption- it wasn't good for the baby. For now. “Father told me well over a decade ago,” that struck a heartstring in the younger, “I didn’t say anything to protect you… you had more than enough on your shoulders.” Elspeth observed the face change. “I was embarrassed.”

“How so?”

“I am a bastard, Alicent. I’ve been trying to escape it… escape him… keep him away from my children,” Rage turned to recoil- for fifteen years she had felt hopeless with the sword over her head, “Please, sister… understand that... I need to protect them…”

It wasn't a scapegoat nor did she cry crocodile tears... she had always been trying to keep her kids safe. It didn’t matter if Alyric was thirteen, he still couldn’t deal with the likes of Daemon Targaryen. Even if his own father was Lord Commander of the City Watch. Luckily for her sanity the prince along with his wife and twin girls were headed to Pentos that next day.

"When you were younger you always looked up to me... what changed?" An ambush down the corridor.

A roll of her eyes, "Could we have this conversation later? Every part of me is swollen, my ribs are like daggers and I cannot be bothered with your manipulation today..." Despite the agony she paced quicker, or so she thought.

"You're just like your mother," Gods, did she wish she was armed.

Continuing forward, "Don't talk about my mother. Not after the pain you caused her."

His hand, with a surprising level of gentleness turned her to face him- the eight month old bump affirmed a comfortable distance. "What did Otto Hightower tell you? That I attacked Alyrie?"

"Didn’t you? Then why am I here with your blood in my veins..."

A sincere, stern look on the man's face- he hesitated in his words, "The times I shared with your mother were of her choice... my decisions may be... questionable, at times... but I’m not heartless." She shoved him away, unsure.

"That's yet to be seen, my prince..." She did the proper action of a curtsy, unable to commit to it fully due to her condition. That confused her even more.

Had her father lied to her all of those years? An entire decade.

She did naturally have a liking for Daemon in an idolisation type of manner, they shared the same temperament; knowing fully well why they did.

The woman needed to see her children, probably in the courtyard…

She shares his majesty’s presence on the balcony- spying if her wayward children and husband were in fact there. “Your Grace,” she curtsied with some labour. It had definitely been the hardest pregnancy- even when her twin boys, Jaimes and Ronin, made home in her stomach. She hoped the bloating would fade when she delivered- not wishing to feel blistered her entire life.

The King- dishevelled due to illness- waved his hand, “No need for such formalities, Elspeth- we are family,” he didn’t know how closely related they truly were.

“Thank you, Your Grace,” he motioned for her to take a perch- she smiled up at the Hand of the King, her father-in-law.

Turning her attention down to the courtyard she saw no knight of the name Harwin Strong, only that of Criston Cole. With him, the princes and her own children stood. Listening to every word he said. “I’m going to see if Ser Criston requires assistance with training,” her feet despised her but she stood. Buckling slightly, held firmly by Lyonel.

“Maybe some rest would benefit you, Elspeth,” the man said with caution. “Ser Criston is the best swordsmen in the Seven Kingdoms- he can handle training the children…”

She patted the hand on her shoulder, “Rest is for the dead,” she joked, though she could be in the grave that very next month.

Early on into her pregnancy she was diagnosed with ‘toxic birth disease’. The mortality rate was… devastatingly high, and she informed the Maesters not to divulge to her Lord husband- he worried so…

She would make it through… she had to for the children she made her way down for.

That same courtyard she used to hack training mannequins and Harwin would always catch her. But now she bore witness to her own children- even her own girls alongside their brothers and cousins.

Alyric stood out like a sore thumb, tall and already gaining his father’s ballast. Even his smile was like Harwin’s and his fighting stance. That grin turned into a scowl, and shouting commenced. “Ser Criston, Luke is struggling, if I may-,”

“No little Lord Strong, you may not. Lucerys must learn, as I did from the pommel of a sword or the blade itself,” Elspeth liked neither the condescension nor the tone the knight used. “If you’re a trained warrior, Alyric, spar with me.” He grappled the front of the boy’s shirt, who was able to maintain balance from the brute force.

She staved off intruding- Alyric wouldn’t care for the embarrassment of conceding because of his mother being protective. Like his father, Alyric was formidable in stature and presence but that didn’t provide technique.

Ser Criston presumed he would have the eldest Strong on the floor in one strike but Alyric was a young brute. Until the knight crushed him to the ground, “You’re not the best there has been, boy. Maybe the Lord Commander needs to teach you modesty,”

That was the last straw, “Ser Criston.” The children shivered at that voice- for there was nothing they feared more than the wrath of their mother, “We are finished here for the day children…” voice as soft as silk and as gentle as a feather. They ran along- Gwen ushering the younger ones out.

And she did not care if they had an audience overhead, “I do not take orders from you. You may be of royal birth, but you are still a bastard.” He must have overheard Daemon and Alicent.

“You forget yourself, Cole. Strong words for a common-born concubine.” His hand wrapped her cheek before she could think. Not phased she readied for his raised fist, aiming for her face. But he found the floor thanks to a swiftly negotiated knee to the crotch. Done so with grace and decorum. “A reminder of who my father is. Now stay on your knees… where you rightfully belong,” venom rolled off her tongue. Looking up towards the disapproving faces of the King and Lyonel Strong.

A face far too sweet for the person behind it gave a snide smirk, “You sound just like him,” he paused - studying her every move, “Your mouths move far too much, for what you both are… conniving cunts.” Contemplating whether or not to crouch down, deciding not to; being eight months along.

"You're the one on the floor after hitting a lady who is with babe..." Her shadowed green gaze bore straight into the man's soul, "What a sad little life, Cole... now they all see what a wretch you are."

Elspeth agreed with him. She did sound like Daemon, but at least with the Rogue Prince you knew what to expect.

The unexpected.

Clutching her swelled stomach, she paced to her sister's chambers. Heart pounding, her back felt constricted. Elspeth greeted the guards stationed outside of the door with politeness, stepping into the room- finding those big brown eyes. "Elspeth...?"

"Your 'sworn shield' just hit me... King Viserys and the Lord Hand saw it for themselves…" Elspeth's forehead felt clammy- cheeks reddened.

"Ser Criston... hit you?" The woman didn't know if she nodded in answer to her sister.

Alicent's arm wrapped around her older sister- feeling how hot she was. The unmistakeable coiling in her lower stomach was all too familiar, "Fuck..."

"What is it?" Something felt different, body numb. She could no longer feel or hear Alicent. To her, she was in a forest with her mother's long red hair swaying as they rode deeper into the trees. But in reality her sister screamed for the assistance of Maesters and for the presence of the strongest knight in the Seven Kingdoms.

Curls were the first thing she awoke to followed by bloodshot eyes like the ocean. "My strong knight..." Milk of the poppy, she presumed- reaching her hand to rub his cheek with her thumb. His rigidity solved itself as he welcomed that warmth- not nearly as searing as she had been beforehand. But even under the influence, Elspeth knew her husband- something was direly wrong. "What troubles you?"

Then she remembered snippets. How she rattled the King's quarters with cries to keep her baby safe... "No... we couldn't have lost the baby... Harwin..." Tears wrapped his eyes, shaking his head. The murmurs of child-like giggles in the distance.

"We have a daughter..." But a plague cast over him, until he broke. Normally she was the one cracking like a piece of glass. His name sounded so divine on her lips and her touch a warm reminder that he was alive as was she.

His body rocked the bed with sobs as her arms enveloped his bulking frame. His golden cloak beneath her fingertips, "We're both here. The Stranger will have to make a better attempt..."

"You were dead,” time stopped. She hadn’t been crying, but when Harwin; a man who possessed such redoubt, quivered in his whisper… she couldn’t help it. “The Maesters said that your insides failed you, and by some miracle,” a tear shed, “you are here… by my side. And so is our darling daughter. What shall we name her?”

Her head crashed against the pillow. The look on his face imprinted in her memory- one of joy laboured by disparity, “A miracle… Mirabel… our little Mia,” the innocent face of the girl present- Rhaenyra holding the girl in her arms.

She had been crying, “She may be the cutest button of your brood… what is her name?”

“Mirabel… our Mia…”

Criston Cole was brought to justice. The King was appalled, and the prince was blind with fury. “Ser Criston Cole… you have been a faithful knight to the Crown, but today I witnessed abhorrent actions that are forbidden as a member of the Kingsguard nor of any noble man,” Elspeth watched on alongside her husband, “Before I cast judgement, speak… what do you have to say for yourself?”

Elspeth respected the king, but he was too lenient. “The words of Lady Elspeth are as tainted as her blood, Your Grace…”

“What do you mean? Lady Elspeth is a just, fair woman,”

“She is a bastard, Your Grace, not the daughter of Otto Hightower,” Viserys’ laughed at the man knelt down.

Elspeth was frozen in the crowd of nobility- all eyes on her, “And who may her father be?” The King held genuine amusement to the accusation.

The heavy doors opened, and so entered the Prince Daemon, “She is my kin.”

Ser Criston, no matter how true his claim had been, was exiled to the Wall. While Elspeth became legitimised under the eyes of the King and of the Seven. Though, Viserys was not thrilled- he was glad peace was made with Daemon, who remained in Kings Landing.

Laena passed away giving birth to their third child, killed by dragonfyre- Vhagar. The question of Rhaenyra’s children wasn’t thrown into contention, and they were never to know that the disgraced knight Ser Criston Cole was their father. But Elspeth knew what Jace and Luke were- but she loved them like her own sons. She would protect them with her dying breath.

And she did not break that vow, even against her own sisters. Lylith had always loved animals, held such compassion that she spent her free days compiling a bestiary of the creatures of Westeros. She was unlike Gwen, who loved hunting- alike their mother. The second born daughter had never detailed Vhagar up close.

During the wake of Laena Velaryon, she sought out the she-dragon. They feared she had been eaten, but she arrived returned on green back of the biggest dragon in the Seven Kingdoms. Harwin didn’t know whether to be proud or terrified that his family owned the two largest dragons - except Vermithor - in the Seven Kingdoms.

Peace was quaint in the years following.

Lyonel Strong still remained as the King’s Hand, though, Otto Hightower still plotted his return. Quashed when Viserys died, and Rhaenyra swiftly ascended. “I wish to offer you the post as my Hand…” It was what the pair had always dreamed of.

“The Lords will not abide by that-“

“I am Queen, I am the Head of the Seven Kingdoms and they will follow my commands,” she paused at the apprehension written over Elspeth’s face.

The Princess shook her head, “Lord Lyonel has been a faithful Hand to your father- ,”

“How am I supposed to rule if I cannot fully rely on my Hand? In my absence how can I rely on the judgement of men to carry out my word?” The Queen held the Princess’ hands, “You are my closest friend- ever since you arrived in Kings Landing- before I was born. You have never shown deceit nor malice on my part- even my husband doesn’t have my complete favour… you do…”

“If I say yes will it stop your queenly speech?” Rhaenyra gave a nod. “Then yes, I will be your Hand…”

She was a bloody good one at that, Rhaenyra remained in Kings Landing as she always had.

Ric was a promising young heir to Harrenhal- knighted for his fighting in the second war for the Stepstones. He was a good sword, and betrothed to Rhaena Velaryon for his actions. They suited one another- calm and loyal.

Gwen, unruly like her mother, rode horses not dragons; fearing great heights. She found a love match in the Lord of the North, Cregan Stark. He loved her fighting spirit- unlike any Southerner he had met.

Lily rode the biggest dragon in the Known World. Her mother refused a marriage with the Lannisters- who called out for an alliance. Lily found affections with the young Lord Oscar Tully. They had proven to be a youthful yet wise Lord and Lady of Riverrun.

Jaimes found himself separated from his twin, Ronin but Jaime was living his dream under the wing of his uncle Gwayne. Travelling the Seven Kingdoms at the age of six-and-ten, yet to find himself a wife but with his father’s looks and mother’s drive- it’s more so the fact that he isn’t looking.

Ronin had claimed the Bronze Fury at two-and-ten, and has since built a loving bond with Vermithor. He found himself with a crowd of women gawking, his mother’s angelic features and his father’s demeanour. Yet he only had eyes for the brash Alysanne Blackwood, admiring the huntress and sharing liaisons while at Harrenhal. Elspeth warned him to ask for her hand before somebody else demanded it- and he feared no person as much as he feared and loved his mother.

Cullen favoured the pen rather than the sword, becoming a scholar. He toured around the libraries, transcribing every ounce of knowledge he garnered. This took him to the Free Cities- where he encountered a young maiden. Her name was Aliandra, she loved his inquisitive nature and he her fiery attitude. It was only when he ventured to her homeland that he discovered her to be Princess Aliandra Martell, and he was to be her Prince Consort. It aided in relations between the Seventh Kingdom.

Lyonei continued her education in alchemy and prophecy. Still close friends with Princess Helaena, though, at Harrenhal she found the company of Alys Rivers- rumoured to be her aunt- and judiciously followed her expertise. For that time being she had no room for love, neither did her parents force her.

Mia resided at Driftmark, Maesters said she had problems with the heart. But she enjoyed life with her head in books. Rhaenys was more than willing to house the gentle-spoken, petite girl even in her adulthood. She found the sea air aided in her ailments, finding love in a sailor.

Their parents moved to Harrenhal when Ser Lyonel died. Larys lurked in the shadows, not any danger.

The Kingdoms lived in peace. But the pair weren’t alive when the power struggles took place- resulted to ash and bone.

Dying in bed together- both of old bones. Knowing what eternal love felt like, reuniting with Alyrie Florent and those lost along the years.

History would remember the fierceness of Elspeth Hightower- true Targaryen born - married a strong. An issue of seven, rider of Ebrion the Cannibal and the best shot in the Seven Kingdoms.

THE END

___________________________

So this is the last part of the series. I have loved writing this and thank you for the support with it. Thank you to everybody reading ❤️❤️❤️

Series taglist:-

@llynx7 @babyred7 @felicisimor @beebeechaos

[mpregandproud]

Isaac II (Part 2)

In the days following the pregnancy announcement, the excitement died down and things returned to normal. Isaac and I went back to our day-to-day lives, although we now had twelve young people around the house who needed our undivided attention, although none of them would be staying home much this summer. Sandra, Dylan and Nate have found jobs during these months, so they will be spending more time outside than indoors. Cristina has decided to spend the summer at a college friend's house in the Caribbean. Philip and Edward have gone as monitors to a camp where our youngest children, Esther and Lucas' children have also gone to spend a few weeks. So after a couple of crazy weeks with everyone we had the house to ourselves again.

As always happens to me when my kids are away from us for a season I get anxious. Isaac doesn't understand how at this point in our lives I still get so nervous when they're not with us, but I can't help it. And like every time I have a period of anxiety I end up eating like crazy. It seems as if my body is begging me to eat to fill the emptiness I feel inside. Emptiness, well, you know it's a figure of speech knowing that it's growing life inside me again. Chocolate, chips, burgers, pizzas… my cravings were completely out of this world.

Isaac tries to reassure me. According to him “it's normal to be so hungry, you are pregnant again and this is coupled with the cravings you usually have when our children leave”. Maybe he is right, as always, but whether it is because of the pregnancy or not I am afraid of gaining back as much weight as I did when Sandra left me. Twenty years ago I went from having an athlete's body to sporting a very pronounced beer belly. Even before I got pregnant for the first time I had a huge belly. Isaac often reminds me “how sexy you were when I met you, with those curves. As soon as I saw you on the soccer field I got a hard-on, no one has ever made me so horny at first sight”. Let's just say Isaac is not very subtle when it comes to talking about how much he likes me. Why lie, I love it when he's like that, it lifts anyone's spirits.

The reality is that two weeks after I started having these cravings, when I was still a month and a half pregnant, my muscles were once again hidden under a layer of fat. My butt was regaining the splendor it had during my last pregnancy. My thighs were starting to grow, and my hips were gradually widening. As for my belly, it was getting rounder and rounder. I had never gained weight so quickly, 33 pounds in two weeks must be a record for any human being.

Within two weeks of announcing my pregnancy to the family, I had my last veterans soccer game of the season. The team that Frank, Samuel, Gary, Lucas and I had formed had qualified for the regional final, so I had no choice but to play in the final. Only Lucas knew I was pregnant, so this was going to be the perfect opportunity to announce to all my soccer buddies my new situation, a condition that would prevent me from playing soccer with them again for a while.

I arrived with Lucas in the locker room. He was the one I told about my intention to reveal the bombshell to the rest of the team, so he asked me to come with me to give me all the support. When we arrived, everyone turned to look at us. 33 extra pounds don't just hide, so I guess it was to be expected that I would stand out in a group where everyone was more or less in shape.

“I see you've made good use of these weeks off,” George, Gary's brother and the team's goalkeeper, patted me on the belly. “Man, anyone would think you were pregnant again,” Frank said with a chuckle. “But how can he be pregnant again after all this time, Frank? Don't talk nonsense!” added Gary. "And if you let him do all the talking? You sound like a bunch of blabbermouths talking non stop?" said Samuel, who was the team leader for a reason.

“Thank you Sam. Yeah, I guess I owe you all an explanation”, there was silence in the locker room. Everyone sat up and looked at me, except for Lucas, who stood a step behind me as if trying to give me support. “You see, Frank wasn't so far off the mark, my husband Isaac and I have become pregnant again. After all these years I'm going to be a dad once more, so I think this will be my last game for a while”, I told them.

They had all seen me pregnant before, so they weren't entirely caught off guard either. One by one they came up to me and gave me a hug. Some of them took the opportunity to make jokes. Some put their hands on my belly and told me that I would now become their lucky charm. Others took the opportunity to grab my ass and remind me that in a few months babies would be coming out of there. Be that as it may, everyone was very kind to me and very supportive.

The moment to wear the team uniform was a little more delicate. With all the anxiety and nerves about playing soccer again, I didn't realize that the clothes would no longer fit me. I looked like a sausage stuffed in that jersey, and the size of my butt would no longer let me put the pants on it, it wouldn't ride up that high. I grabbed my phone and called Isaac to ask him to bring me the uniform from the first day I played on the team, a year after giving birth to the sextuplets. It was a much bigger uniform, I was sure that one would fit me.

Luckily Isaac hadn't left the house yet to come see me, so he was able to grab the jersey and pants and deliver them to the locker room before the game. Of course, everyone took that moment to congratulate him on his future fatherhood. The question of how many children I had put in my belly this time was a recurring one. In fact, we asked ourselves that question at that time, although we would soon find out de number.

The game started and I played as a starter. The game was going well, by the 35th minute we were leading by two goals, but at that moment I started to feel a slight pain in my belly. I assumed that the fatigue of playing again with excess weight was behind this discomfort, so I decided to ignore it and move on.

The second half came and after 15 minutes the pain had become so intense that I collapsed on the field. I put my hands to my stomach and writhed in pain on the grass. The game stopped and the whole team came to my aid. “Dan, are you okay, do you want us to make a change so you can rest? I don't know if in your condition you should be doing these efforts,” Lucas told me. Samuel asked the trainer to change me and between him and Lucas they helped me out onto the field so Ben could come in in my place.

I sat on the bench. The pain instead of dissipating was getting worse. Between cold sweats and the intense pain I was feeling in my belly area I felt so bad that I asked the trainer to gesture to Isaac who was in the stands to come down and pick me up and take me to the hospital for a check up.

Isaac picked me up and rushed me to the hospital. “Where did Sandra, Dylan and Nate stay?” I asked him trying not to think in the pain. “Don't worry, Cal will take them home,” he told me. “Who's Cal,” I asked, not understanding at all. “Oh, right, that you haven't met him. Cal is Sandra's boyfriend. They met at the movie theater where she is working and have started dating. She wanted to introduce him to all of us today,” Isaac said, holding my hand to reassure me a little more.

As soon as I arrived at the hospital I was taken to the doctor who had checked me two weeks earlier to confirm the pregnancy. She asked me to lie down on the gurney. She took my blood pressure, drew my blood and asked me to take off my clothes. She poured a cold gel on my belly and proceeded to give me an ultrasound. I don't know if it was out of fear of what would be on the screen or what, but that day I couldn't see anything she was looking at.

After a few minutes of analyzing me, Caroline, which is what the doctor's name was, looked at Isaac and I and started talking. “Daniel, this was just a scare today, but this is a warning not to overexert yourself. At fifty years old and with a pregnancy like yours, I recommend that you get all the rest you can and not make any effort if you want the pregnancy to come to fruition”, Caroline said very seriously. Isaac and I were very scared, our hands were shaking and we didn't know how to react. We looked at each other and he hurried to put his arms around me and kiss me on the cheek, “everything is going to be okay, my love”, he whispered.

I couldn't hold back the tears. Apparently everything was fine, otherwise she would have said something to us, but I couldn't hold back the tears. “Could I have lost the pregnancy?” was the first thing I could ask. “Yes, it could have happened, but fortunately he got you here early,” she told me, although she was looking at Isaac smiling at him in approval.

“Doctor, you said a pregnancy like yours, what do you mean by this?” asked Isaac.

“You see, Daniel, you're fit, well, you were a few weeks ago when I first saw you, before you put on so much weight so quickly. But we can't get around the fact that you're 50 years old. Age is a risk factor, no doubt, but it's not just that. You are expecting quadruplets, which is also a commendable challenge for any pregnant person, young or old. You will have to take very good care of yourself and be on strict bed rest. I think you have a very big family, so you will have to support him as much as you can these months,” the doctor said.

“Quadruplets, four at once is the number we were missing,” I said laughing out loud. Caroline didn't quite understand the situation, but Isaac and I were laughing as if my comment had been the best comment ever. We explained that in my previous five pregnancies I had a singleton, twins, triplets, quintuplets and sextuplets, so with quadruplets we were definitely coming full circle. It will be true that there was a plan for me to get pregnant again. The collection had to be completed.

When we arrived home our three children were waiting for us, my sister Esther, Lucas and his husband Adam. Lucas left the victory celebration of the team to find out if I was well. There was also Cal, a dark-haired and very, very tall boy. He was 23 years old, played soccer and looked like a hero out of a medieval legend. When I saw him I looked at Sandra and winked. “You've inherited your father's good taste,” I said when Cal had already left later that night.

“You have had us so-worried,” my son Dylan said to me. “Dad, is everything okay with the pregnancy?” his brother Nate asked. I gave both of them a hug, which Sandra joined in on as well. “My sons, you can be very calm, I'm fine and so are your four brothers. Your father has had a small crisis and the doctor has forced me to maintain strict rest. For the next few months I will have to spend a lot of time in bed, but everything will be all right”. “We will have to help Dad as much as we can for the next seven months, this is a job for all of us”, Isaac added.

“You've always loved being treated like a queen, little brother”, Esther joked. “You don't know what to do to do nothing anymore, eh, buddy”, added Lucas. And yes, these funny people are the ones who have to take care of me so that nothing happens to me with the pregnancy, I have it complicated.

Go to Part 3

[epicbuddieficrecs]

Weekly Recap | December 4th-10th 2023

Can you believe it's only been about six months and I'm on my second 9-1-1 rewatch? 😅

Complete

the trouble with family by adorkable_buddie/ @butraura (Post-S6, Getting Together | 7K | Teen): In which, after Natalia breaks up with Buck, he goes to bar and hits it off with some woman. The next morning and a one night stand later, Buck learns that the woman is Eddie's sister.

'tis the damn season by spaceprincessem / @spaceprincessem (Post-S5, Christmas, Getting Together | 7K | Teen): Eddie asks Buck to the Holiday Fireman's Ball. It goes so much better than he could ever imagine

when your world is on fire by smilingbuckley/ @smilingbuckley (Established Buddie, Angst | 6K | Teen): The 118 responds to what should be a normal house fire only to find out that one of their own is stuck inside and believed to be dead.

caught up in your curls by smilingbuckley/ @smilingbuckley (Getting Together | 6K | Explicit): After having been in El Paso for awhile, taking care of his Abuela, Eddie can finally go home to Los Angeles. He fully expected his son to have changed over the past few weeks because he's a teenager, they change every day. What he didn't prepare for was Buck, who suddenly has grown out his curls. Curls Eddie has a weakness for. It causes for some... interesting situations, until Eddie reaches his breaking point.

Don't Listen When I Scream by devirnis/ @devirnis (Bad Things Happen Bingo: Forced to Watch, Kidnapping, Angst | 11K | Mature): The man shoves Buck into the chair. Picking a hunting knife up from the tray, he points it at Eddie. “If you fight back or try to escape, I will slit his throat before you can even blink. Understand?”

there you are, sweetheart by oklahoma / @malewifediaz (Christmas, Getting Together | 3K | Teen): Over Christmas hot chocolate and silly banter in the kitchen, Eddie tells Buck he loves him.

Why Not Take All of Me? by Daisies_and_Briars / @cal-daisies-and-briars (Madney Wedding | 13K | Mature): When a small disaster strikes the morning of Maddie and Chimney's wedding, Buck, Hen, and Chim find themselves unwittingly caught up in an emergency across town, while Maddie and Eddie get stuck in an elevator.

even when the heat breaks I’m still yours by thewolvesof1998/ @thewolvesof1998 (PWP, Post-S6 | 6K | Explicit): Buck and Eddie get stuck in a cabin during a heatwave, they finally take the next step and fuck nasty on the floor.

You Ring, I Drool by callmenewbie/ @callmenewbie (Christmas, Getting Together | 8K | Explicit): 5+1 times Buck reminds Eddie of a dog // alternatively; the one in which Eddie accidentally conditions Buck to beg for treats

reach my hand through time (hold your hand so tight) by renecdote/ @renecdote (Exes to Lovers | 6K | Teen): In which Buck and Eddie breakup, get back together, and adopt a cat. In exactly that order.

bury my heart at the rodeo by lecornergirl / @clusterbuck (Getting Together | 1,2K | General): OR: eddie rides a horse and it makes buck a little reckless

let me take you (apart) by renecdote / @renecdote (PWP, Getting Together | 2K | Explicit): Buck is pinning Eddie’s arms over his head with one hand, the other low on his best friend’s hip, his weight pressing forward so that they’re chest to chest, mouths inches apart. Buck feels that exhalation against his skin, tickling, exhilarating, ghost-like in the way that it makes his hair stand on end. “Told you I could take you.”

the things that torment most by renecdote/ @renecdote (S3, Getting together | 5K | General): In which Buck reads a lot and all roads lead to him figuring out he's in love with his best friend.

this surprise ending i’m depending on (could be the story of another us) by Iover_of_mine (I_almost_do)/ @lover-of-mine (Post 6x15, Pining | 3K | Teen): Buck is on a date and Eddie pines.

for everything we are (everything we’ve been) by Iover_of_mine (I_almost_do)/ @lover-of-mine (Post-S6, Getting Together | 9K | Teen): “So here's what we're gonna do, the shit we've been through that you keep telling yourself didn't happen to you so you have no right to feel anything about it? You're gonna tell me how you felt about it anyway," Eddie says, turning on his chair so he's facing Buck fully and watching as Buck mirrors his movement, places his beer on the counter, and rubs his thighs before speaking.

swinging for the fences by inbetweenthestacks/ @organizedstardust (Getting Together | 6K | Teen): Buck takes Eddie to a baseball game.

🔥 reachin for me (makin love to someone else) by inbetweenthestacks/ @organizedstardust (Post-S6, Getting Together | 8K | Explicit): Buck says Eddie’s name while having sex with Natalia.

boiling point by 42hrb/ @exhuastedpigeon (Getting Together | 2K | Teen): Evan Buckley's extremely extended metaphor for loving Eddie Diaz.

it's like everything you say is a sweet revelation by 42hrb/ @exhuastedpigeon (Friends to Fiances, Post-S6 | 5K | Mature): “Marry me,” Eddie said. It wasn’t a question, it was a sentence. He said it like he was commenting on the weather or last night's Dodgers game. Buck slowly lowered his coffee cup, eyes wide. Eddie lifted his drink and took a sip, a satisfied hum escaped him as he did. “Come again?” “Marry me,” Eddie took another sip of his coffee. “Please?”

If we’re both still single… by 42hrb/ @exhuastedpigeon (Getting Together | 3K | Teen): “I’m sorry, you’re gonna have to repeat that for me?” Eddie had a beer halfway to his lips, his arm slung lazily on the back of the couch. “If we’re both still single when we’re 35, we should just get married,” Buck repeated, as casually as if he was saying they should order pizza or change the channel from the basketball game to hockey. 

🔥 it hurts to hope for more by 42hrb/ @exhuastedpigeon (Post-S6, Getting Together | 15K | Mature): “I’m never - I’m never going to be a dad,” Buck sobs into Eddie’s shoulder. “She didn’t want kids. Why do I keep dating people who don’t want the same things as me? Is- is the universe telling me that I don’t deserve it?” “Hey, no,” Eddie pulls back from the hug and Buck lets out a pitiful sound at the loss of contact. “The universe doesn’t do that. The universe doesn’t scream and it definitely doesn’t get to tell you what you deserve, because you deserve everything Buck. Everything.”

don't wanna snooze and miss the moment by inbetweenthestacks/ @organizedstardust (Getting Together | 2K | General): Eddie gets caught on the edges of sleep and is a little too honest.

let me find some warmth inside this little love of mine by lemonzestywrites/ @lemonzestywrites (NYE, Getting Together | 4K | Teen): Buck and Eddie find themselves outside of the 118’s yearly New Year’s Eve party. And wish making occurs.

WIP

Kiss Me Once Cause You Know I Had A Long Night by I_still_dont_understand_13 / @sherlockcrossing (Prompt collection | 10/? | 7K | Teen): 100 kiss prompts.

🔥 Things We're All Too Young to Know by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Canon, S1 through S6 | 100/? | 266K | Mature): This is a love story. Even if it doesn’t always look like it. Even if it doesn’t always feel like it. A look back on Eddie and Buck's lives up to now, and what led them to each other, interpreted from the current 9-1-1 canon.

Fractals from the Lightning Bolt by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels/ @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels (One Shots Collection | 41/54 | 78K | Not Rated): A collection of oneshots, some originally posted on tumblr. Each chapter is individually rated.

Chapter 41: Melt: written around the time of the shooting, when I thought we'd get to see more of Eddie's physical recovery in one way or another.