#I wanted to post earlier but I just didn't like the edits... and it takes me so long to screencap damn

[royalarchivist]

Guys, I really hate to be a killjoy but Fit did not call Pac "babe" in today's live.

[picspammer]

Rings of Power Week 2023 Day 1 _ Favourite Scenery: Lindon✨

[andthebubbles]

so i saw this on reddit today and imagine if those last two lines hadn’t been cut... omg

x

[nostalgebraist]

Honestly I'm pretty tired of supporting nostalgebraist-autoresponder. Going to wind down the project some time before the end of this year.

Posting this mainly to get the idea out there, I guess.

This project has taken an immense amount of effort from me over the years, and still does, even when it's just in maintenance mode.

Today some mysterious system update (or something) made the model no longer fit on the GPU I normally use for it, despite all the same code and settings on my end.

This exact kind of thing happened once before this year, and I eventually figured it out, but I haven't figured this one out yet. This problem consumed several hours of what was meant to be a relaxing Sunday. Based on past experience, getting to the bottom of the issue would take many more hours.

My options in the short term are to

A. spend (even) more money per unit time, by renting a more powerful GPU to do the same damn thing I know the less powerful one can do (it was doing it this morning!), or

B. silently reduce the context window length by a large amount (and thus the "smartness" of the output, to some degree) to allow the model to fit on the old GPU.

Things like this happen all the time, behind the scenes.

I don't want to be doing this for another year, much less several years. I don't want to be doing it at all.

----

In 2019 and 2020, it was fun to make a GPT-2 autoresponder bot.

[EDIT: I've seen several people misread the previous line and infer that nostalgebraist-autoresponder is still using GPT-2. She isn't, and hasn't been for a long time. Her latest model is a finetuned LLaMA-13B.]

Hardly anyone else was doing anything like it. I wasn't the most qualified person in the world to do it, and I didn't do the best possible job, but who cares? I learned a lot, and the really competent tech bros of 2019 were off doing something else.

And it was fun to watch the bot "pretend to be me" while interacting (mostly) with my actual group of tumblr mutuals.

In 2023, everyone and their grandmother is making some kind of "gen AI" app. They are helped along by a dizzying array of tools, cranked out by hyper-competent tech bros with apparently infinite reserves of free time.

There are so many of these tools and demos. Every week it seems like there are a hundred more; it feels like every day I wake up and am expected to be familiar with a hundred more vaguely nostalgebraist-autoresponder-shaped things.

And every one of them is vastly better-engineered than my own hacky efforts. They build on each other, and reap the accelerating returns.

I've tended to do everything first, ahead of the curve, in my own way. This is what I like doing. Going out into unexplored wilderness, not really knowing what I'm doing, without any maps.

Later, hundreds of others with go to the same place. They'll make maps, and share them. They'll go there again and again, learning to make the expeditions systematically. They'll make an optimized industrial process of it. Meanwhile, I'll be locked in to my own cottage-industry mode of production.

Being the first to do something means you end up eventually being the worst.

----

I had a GPT chatbot in 2019, before GPT-3 existed. I don't think Huggingface Transformers existed, either. I used the primitive tools that were available at the time, and built on them in my own way. These days, it is almost trivial to do the things I did, much better, with standardized tools.

I had a denoising diffusion image generator in 2021, before DALLE-2 or Stable Diffusion or Huggingface Diffusers. I used the primitive tools that were available at the time, and built on them in my own way. These days, it is almost trivial to do the things I did, much better, with standardized tools.

Earlier this year, I was (probably) one the first people to finetune LLaMA. I manually strapped LoRA and 8-bit quantization onto the original codebase, figuring out everything the hard way. It was fun.

Just a few months later, and your grandmother is probably running LLaMA on her toaster as we speak. My homegrown methods look hopelessly antiquated. I think everyone's doing 4-bit quantization now?

(Are they? I can't keep track anymore -- the hyper-competent tech bros are too damn fast. A few months from now the thing will be probably be quantized to -1 bits, somehow. It'll be running in your phone's browser. And it'll be using RLHF, except no, it'll be using some successor to RLHF that everyone's hyping up at the time...)

"You have a GPT chatbot?" someone will ask me. "I assume you're using AutoLangGPTLayerPrompt?"

No, no, I'm not. I'm trying to debug obscure CUDA issues on a Sunday so my bot can carry on talking to a thousand strangers, every one of whom is asking it something like "PENIS PENIS PENIS."

Only I am capable of unplugging the blockage and giving the "PENIS PENIS PENIS" askers the responses they crave. ("Which is ... what, exactly?", one might justly wonder.) No one else would fully understand the nature of the bug. It is special to my own bizarre, antiquated, homegrown system.

I must have one of the longest-running GPT chatbots in existence, by now. Possibly the longest-running one?

I like doing new things. I like hacking through uncharted wilderness. The world of GPT chatbots has long since ceased to provide this kind of value to me.

I want to cede this ground to the LLaMA techbros and the prompt engineers. It is not my wilderness anymore.

I miss wilderness. Maybe I will find a new patch of it, in some new place, that no one cares about yet.

----

Even in 2023, there isn't really anything else out there quite like Frank. But there could be.

If you want to develop some sort of Frank-like thing, there has never been a better time than now. Everyone and their grandmother is doing it.

"But -- but how, exactly?"

Don't ask me. I don't know. This isn't my area anymore.

There has never been a better time to make a GPT chatbot -- for everyone except me, that is.

Ask the techbros, the prompt engineers, the grandmas running OpenChatGPT on their ironing boards. They are doing what I did, faster and easier and better, in their sleep. Ask them.

[thebibliosphere]

"But you're so successful without it."

Content warning: This post contains mentions of suicidal ideation.

I got a message earlier tonight that I'm not going to post, but I did ask the person involved if I could talk about what we subsequently ended up talking about in DMs because I feel it's important.

Basically, it was along the lines of "My kid got diagnosed with ADHD and really wants to try meds. I know from reading your blog that correct treatment for ADHD can be really beneficial, but I just don't think she's severe enough to need them."

The message then went on to ask me, as someone who is unmedicated with ADHD, for some tricks and tips on how to be successful without medication because clearly, look how well I'm doing without them. I mean, look at my blog, look at my book(s)! Surely if I can do all that without ADHD meds, other people can too. Surely there's a trick. A skill. Something you can learn if you just try hard enough...

This is not the first time I have received a message like this. In fact, I probably get about 2-5 messages like this a week.

Usually from other people who also have ADHD/suspect ADHD but don't want medication because they don't think they need it/don't want to need it, and yet can't figure out why they're struggling so much, and ask me how do I do the thing(s) and cope so well and get so much done, etc., etc.

So I'm going to tell you what I told this person tonight in case it helps someone. Yes, I have ADHD. No, I am not medicated due to severe health complications, and yes, I get a lot done. From the outside, I am sure it looks incredibly productive and successful. But I'm going to let you in on what that success feels like.

It feels like dying.

It feels like my brain is on fire; every nerve in my body scraped raw; every part of me wired and exposed to the noise of the world. There is no quiet; there is no calm. And even when my brain does fall silent, it's another kind of death. The inside of my head is sludge, flowing uphill like treacle, weighing me down, pulling me under in the riptide of my inability to focus. I can see what needs to be done, I can see it so clearly, yet sometimes it's like I don't control my own body. Not enough dopamine. Not enough brain chemicals for the message I'm screaming in my head to make my limbs do the simplest of tasks. Like, feed myself. Take a shower. Answer that email. Text my friends back. Go to bed when I'm tired. Write a best-selling novel...

A novel that almost killed me and not because of my other ailments, but because of my unmedicated ADHD.

I didn't realize it at the time, but I was already operating at critical mass when I went into final rewrites/edits. Every coping mechanism I had fell apart. Like training wheels falling off a tricycle, leaving me to wobble unsteadily until the main wheels fell off, swiftly followed by the handlebars until all that was left was me peddling frantically trying to keep my balance and not getting anywhere. I didn't realize it then, but I was heading towards a complete mental collapse. And even when I dragged myself across the finish line with the above and beyond help provided by my friends and editors, I was so burned out I couldn't enjoy my success. Worse, my success made me suicidal.

It took me until very recently, almost two years later, to be able to read Phangs without feeling suicidal. My brain associated it with the trauma of experiencing complete ADHD burnout but having to complete a monumental task anyway.

I had to go into intensive therapy to recover. I am still in intensive therapy for it.

It took me even longer after that to be able to sit down and write without harming myself. I still struggle with it, and I tell you this in all honest sincerity in the hope it makes you realize what it costs me to be "successful" and unmedicated.

And this wasn't the first time I've had to deal with this, either.

I struggled all through high school, all through college, all through every career job I ever had, knowing there was something wrong, but not quite being able to put my finger on it because hey, I still got stuff done, so it couldn't be that bad, right? Surely everyone went through life feeling this way? Right?

...right?

It wasn't until I got my ADHD diagnosis as an adult that I realized what was happening. Why I struggled so much. Why life was so hard. In many ways, it was like the sun coming up. An internal dawning of realization and acceptance, but also rage.

So much rage.

Rage at how much I'd had to struggle because no one noticed because I was quiet and undisruptive. Rage at a system that forced me to learn in ways that were not intuitive to my brain. To always being told, "doesn't apply herself" while it felt like I was clawing my brain apart trying to do what people wanted from me. To a work-life balance, that rewards all the things that make ADHD actively worse. Rage. So much rage it hurts. And to top it all off, I can't be medicated for it. I finally know what's different, I finally know why my world feels raw and turned inside out, and I can't take any of the medications that might help me.

Do you know how angry I wake up every day that there is a possible solution just within my grasp, but my health conditions prevent me from trying them? Do you know how much it hurts? How much I grieve for the person I could be if I was able to have help beyond therapy and coaching? How much happier I could be...

Not productive. Not successful. Happy.

So ask yourself, what do you want more? A child who has to go through all of this and resents you for prolonging their suffering? Who winds up hating themselves by internalizing the false concept that if they just try hard enough, they can do whatever they set their mind to.

Or do you want to help them?

Or if this is you, why are you afraid to help yourself?

Please, don't use me as an example to harm yourself or others. Yes, I am successful without medication. But the toll is high. Too high.

Rid yourself of the idea that you need to suffer more to be allowed help. You don't. They don't. No one does.

[janitorhutcherson]

bedtime with mike and abby ( mike schmidt x reader)

hi guys! this is my first ever lil fic/imagine/blurb here!! if y'all like this, I'll keep it up. I'm also new to tumblr, so please please be patient with me. in the future i'd love to do requests.

also if someone wants to help me with formatting/be friends, just shoot me a msg :p

this is just a quick lil imagine/blurb. I've seen so many smutty fics and i wanted to spice it up w/ some fluff. just sleepy time on mike's night off! on w the fic :p

*edit* this isn’t revised!! i threw something together last min and posted cause i felt like writing lol. don’t mind the typos

word count: 1,633

warnings: none! just fluff, angst if u squint!!

summary: nighttime with mike and abby on his day off!

Most of the time, you, your boyfriend Mike, and his little sister Abby were on entirely different schedules. Mike worked nights at a shitty gas station job for the time being after his job at Freddy's was... well.. no more for obvious reasons. Even though he swore off the night shift, this was necessary until he could find something better. Jobs were sparse at the moment, and Mike's history didn't exactly make him a star candidate.

A typical night would consist of you making the three of you dinner, slowly forcing Abby to venture out when it came to her taste buds. Recently, she'd taken a liking to tacos. You and Mike would make a joint effort to get her ready for bed earlier together, as Mike was more particular about being there for her since the incident. She'd get a bath, get into her jammies, and the two of you would tuck her in with a bedtime story. You'd both kiss her little forehead goodnight, then kiss your boyfriend on his lips before sending him off.

Most nights, you tossed and turned in your sleep, unable to rest properly without Mike by your side. A painfully dull feeling would rest in your stomach, the lack of his warmth beside you agonizing. You'd spend all night waiting for 6am to roll around as you felt the bed dip on his side, barely stirring you from your sleep. You'd have thirty minutes until your alarm went off, thirty minutes to wrap yourself up into him before you once again went on your separate ways... living your separate lives until you could have your few hours of union later on.

But tonight, you were lucky. Mike had gotten the next few days off. His job was being extra kind as they actually recognized the hard work Mike put in, something he wasn't used to. They'd told him someone would take over for a bit, to enjoy himself, to rest. It may have been a low-paying, trashy, borderline dangerous job, but his boss was nice, and the customers were certainly safer to deal with than those at the pizzeria.

You called out sick from work, not wanting to miss a single second with your little trio. You'd both even made the decision to pull Abby out of school for the day, spending it building forts, watching movies, and eating ice cream. The three of you even went out rollerskating, Mike awkwardly tumbling every few seconds on the rink as Abby would bust out laughing at him. The three of you were now sat around on the couch, Mike smooshed into the far side of the armrest as your entire body lay on his, Abby's head resting in your lap as she sleepily blinked her eyes. She'd already had her bath, brushed her teeth, and all three of you were in your pajamas.

"So, everyone have a good day?" Mike asked, turning his head to the two of you with a small but sleepy smile.

"Mhm," Abby hummed quietly, slowly nodding her head against your lap. It was clear that she was moments from passing out, and once Abby was out, she was impossible to get up without a fight.

"Okay, I think it's time for bed," you giggled, slowly lifting your own head up from Mike's shoulder. Mike nodded in agreement, a laugh of his own escaping his lips.

You both slowly pulled Abby up, getting her up on her feet, her half asleep state making her delirious as she wiped her eyes with the back of her hand, staring back at the two of you in confusion.

"C'mon, Abs, it's time for bed," Mike muttered, standing up. He grabbed your hand, pulling you up with him. You stood as well, following Mike as he led Abby to her room. She crawled up into her bed, her little body tucking under her blankets as the two of you sat on both sides of her.

"Want a bedtime story?" Mike asked, raising his eyebrows as he leaned down to press a small kiss to Abby's forehead. Abby's lips parted to answer, but before she could, her eyes were closed and she was out. A sincere and quiet chuckle escaped underneath Mike's breath, his eyes full of love for his sister as her stared down at her. You couldn't help but stare, the edges of your mouth turning up into a sleepy smile of your own. He was so majestic, his messy but soft brown curls were laying in every which way on his head. Even though he was much more rested than usual, his eyes were still somewhat sunken in, but to you, that just made him more attractive. His scruff was messy, unshaven, but it managed to highlight his jawline. The sparkle that remained in his eyes, even through it all, after everything that he'd been through, warmed you to your core, your love for him overwhelming.

"What?" Mike asked quietly with a smile still plastered on his lips, his eyes now locked on yours. A blush crossed your cheeks as you realize you’d been caught, your eyebrows raising.

“Nothin’,” you hummed, shaking your head. “Just admiring you.” Your hand reached out to his as the two of you went to your own bedroom, the only light now lighting up your house being the moonlight and street lamps peeking through the blinds. You both crawled into bed, pulling the blankets over your bodies.

There was nothing but silence other than the sound of the fan in your room, the hum almost hypnotic as you wrapped yourself up in his arms. Your head rest against his chest as he instantly tugged you closer, his back flat on the bed as his hand cradled your side. His thumb drew small figure eights on your shoulder. Your body felt fuzzy, a type of relaxation you hadn’t felt at night in a while. Mike made you feel safe. On nights where you two were able to just snuggle up, nothing could buzz in your mind. Anxious thoughts disappeared, even the ones that seemed to be a constant in the back of your brain. There was nothing but a warmness in your mind and a beam of love in your heart.

“Hey, baby?” You heard Mike ask softly, his voice cracking from his sleepiness. You were broken from your train of thought by this, looking up at the man with the sleepy eyes. “Hm?” You hummed in response, your eyes fluttering, but he couldn’t see due to the lack of light. Mike sat up, pulling you up with him as he grabbed your hands, both of your faces now lit up by the light peeking through the cracks in your curtain.

“I- I know we don’t get nights like these much, and I’m sorry. I’m sorry I’m never home, I’m sorry you have to do so much for you and Abby alone. I’m sorry I dragged you into that mess with Freddy’s, got you involved in so much of this,” he said, his voice seeping with sadness and regret. His eyes held an even softer emotion than they did earlier, one that felt like a knife to your chest. “Most importantly, I’m sorry I can’t be the boyfriend I should be. I mean, we should be spending our nights out at clubs, going out on special dates and vacations, and I hate that I’m unable to give you that,” he sniffled, a tear now falling down his eye.

You leaned forward, a frown on your lips as your eyebrows furrowed, your eyes locked on his as you placed your hand on his cheek, wiping away the tear with your thumb as you shook your head. Mike’s own two much larger hands were now placed on both of your cheeks as he continued. “But listen, Y/N, I love you, more than I have ever loved anyone, okay? I- I’m not good at this shit, I know I’m not. I’m clumsy and I’m bad at emotions. I don’t always know what I want or what I need, but I know I don’t only want you, but I need you. You came into my life and you brightened it where it was the darkest. You brought happiness back, you made me understand what joy was again, what it was like to feel.. complete. You saved me, but..” he trailed off again, full on tears falling down his cheeks now. “Most importantly, you saved Abby, made her feel whole again too, gave her somethin’ like a mother, something I couldn’t give her,” he said, his voice breaking at the end. Before he could say another word, you wrapped around arms around him, pulling him into a massive bear hug. He buried his head into the crook of your neck, your mind not even focused on the salty tears and the snotty nose that was leaned up against your shoulder. Your hands rubbing his back as you kissed the top of his head.

“Oh, baby..” you whispered softly, squeezing him like if you let go he’d disappear. “You know I love you so much too…” you finished, pulling his face up by his chin, pressing a soft, gentle but electric kiss to his lips. The two of you then settled back into bed, curling up in each other’s arms as he played with your hair, occasionally leaning down to press a gentle kiss to your lips, small sniffles still leaving his nose from the emotional moment. He was right, it was rare you got moments like these together, but when you did, you cherished them. It took about thirty minutes of sweet nothings and cuddles before the two of you drifted off, in your own little dream worlds filled with many nights like these.

[samandcolbyownme]

Summary: anon request - "hear me out ok .. ok what if reader was getting a tattoo and JAKE is the person who does the tattoos??????"

Warnings: TW needles, getting tattooed, male tattooing female reader, mentions of being in pain and smoking, mainly fluff

Word Count: 5.5K | kind of edited

╔═══━━━─── • ───━━━═══╗

"Hello?"

"Hey y/n, it's Corey from Emblem One."

You smile, "oh hey. What's up, Corey?" You sit up and listen to him, " So, Vienna isn't going to be in today, she's got a bad, and I mean bad case of the flu."

You pout slightly, "Oh. Thats too bad. I hope she feels better soon."

"Yeah, me too. I just got done rescheduling her appointments today.. she was booked and busy so it's.. been a day so far." He laughs slightly, "But I know you trust the rest of us, and I was going down over our other appointments and Jake has an earlier opening if you want it."

"Is he the one you were talking about bringing in a few weeks ago?"

"Yeah, that's him. He does pretty sick work, if I do say so myself, but you know that if I didn't think he could do your tattoos, I wouldn't recommend him." Corey chuckles slightly, "I know it's a sternum tattoo, so if you're no-"

"Put me in." You say quickly, "I need tattoo therapy Corey. I can't wait any longer." You laugh and he clicks his tongue, "You got it."

He pauses for a second, "So instead of coming in at six like you were supposed to with V, he can get you in at two thirty. That sound okay?"

"That's absolutely perfect. Thank you so much for calling me."

"Anytime. See you in a little."

"Yep, bye." You hang up, checking the time before getting up to go shower.

You were getting a chest piece done, a floral setting under your boobs with a vine that goes in between them.

You were actually kind of nervous for this one, well.. it wouldn't be as bad if you hadn't let google and all of its pain scale ratings deter your feelings about it.

You tried not to think about it by going to the shops page, looking to see if they posted an introduction to Jake.

They did, and wow is he ever pretty.

You bite your lip, reading down over the basic info that's listed below his picture.

Emblem One would like to introduce our newest artist, Jake Webber. Jake has been tattooing for a few years and he is absolutely incredible. You can swipe to see a few of the pieces that he's done so far, and if you would like to schedule an appointment with Jake, please call the shop and we'll get you set up.

You raise your eyebrows as you swipe through the attached pictures, "Wow." You shake your head, Corey was right, his work is pretty sick.

You find yourself in the comments, and to no surprise, you're reading stuff that definitely should have stayed in the keyboard.

User1: I have no tattoos, but now I want one that will take hours

User2: I have a few openings that I can definitely schedule you in to fill.

User3: I'd leave a wet spot on the table, he's so hot

"People have no chill." You roll your eyes, laughing slightly as you double tap the picture to like it before getting in the shower.

.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.

You push the door to the tattoo shop open, walking in as you give Corey a smile, "Hey."

He stands up, "What's up, y/n?"

You shake your head, closing the door behind you, "Nothing really, about to get a tattoo." You laugh slightly and he chuckles, "You don't say."

He slides the paper for you to sign, "Are you nervous?"

You sign your name and shrug, "I know it's going to hurt, but I'm so excited for it."

He chuckles and nods, "Yeah, I don't really think it's going to tickle." He nods to the back, "I'll go tell Jake you're here."

He walks back, leaving you alone in the small lobby that you're very familiar with. You walk over, looking at the different paintings and drawings that are on the walls.

You've seen them a bunch of times but they always amaze you.

"Y/n."

You turn, seeing Jake standing there and your eyes move up to meet his - wow, he's a lot taller in person.

You smile, "Yes, hi." You walk over to him, "You must be Jake."

He extends his hand out, "That would be me."

You lay your hand in his and it feels like fireworks are going off inside of your stomach.

"So if you're ready.." he nods towards the door, hand still holding yours, "You can follow me this way."

You nod, blinking a few times as you smile, "Yes. I am more than ready." You slip your hand from his and he gives you a little smirk before walking back the hall.

You follow him back, saying hi to the other artists that are there today.

"You're popular here aren't you?" Jake jokes and you laugh, "I've known Corey since, middle school, I think."

"So you're friends with the owner, how sick is that?" Jake sits down on his stool and you nod, "It has its perks."

You sit your bag down on the extra chair in the corner and shrug your jacket off. You turn around letting out a quiet, but loud enough to catch Jake's attention, "shit."

"Everything okay?" Jake looks up from getting everything set up and you nod, "Yeah, well. I mean no. I wanted to bring an extra shirt with me, just so I didn't get ink all over this one, and I forgot it."

"I have an extra one if you want it." Jake offers and you raise your brows, "Do you really?"

He nods, getting up from his stool, "It's in my car, but I can go out and grab it quick."

"Are you sure?" You tilt your head, "I don't want to be a hassle. I know you have other appointments later."

He shakes his head, "Nah, just one. But that isn't until six or something, so we have plenty of time." He grabs his keys and points to the door, "I'll be right back."

"Thank you!" You say as he walks out. You turn, digging your phone from your bag and bringing it up to text your best friend, I got rescheduled so I'm here at the shop now. Corey put me with the new guy they hired and oh my gosh is he a sweetheart, and oh, he is sooo pretty, too. Go to Emblem One on IG and look. It's their new artist. Jake.

Just as you get done, basically fan girling about Jake, he walks back in, "Here you are."

You take the shirt from his hand and smile, "You are a lifesaver, Jake. Thank you."

He bats the air, "Oh shucks." He laughs slightly and walks towards the door, "I'm going to let you get comfortable, I'll be back in a few."

You watch as he leaves, closing the door behind him.

You take off your shirt off, followed by your bra before slipping on his shirt. Your eyes scan over the black walls, moving over the long mirror hung horizontally against it.

You walk over to the mirror, spending the last few minutes alone trying to figure out how you were going to keep yourself covered while he tattoos.

As you're moving the shirt around, there's a knock on the door and you quickly pull it down, "Come in."

The door opens and Jake walks in, "Comfy cozy?"

You laugh slightly, moving to sit back on the table, "As much as I can get."

"Is there anything else I can do for you before we get started?" He sits down, turning to look at you with a smile.

You tilt your head, "It's more or less how I'm going to stay covered up, I don't want anyone uncomfortable. I seen other shops have hospital gowns that they have people put on backwards.."

He smirks slightly, "I was actually thinking about that out there and, I don't have a hospital gown, but what I can do, is cut the shirt up the middle and then tape it down so you're covered."

"I don't want you ruining your shirt, Jake." You shake your head slightly and he shrugs, "That's an old shirt anyway. I won't miss it."

"Are you sure?" You ask and he smiles as he grabs the scissors, "So. Are we doing this?"

You laugh, moving to stand up, "I guess we are."

He rolls over, pinching the hem of the shirt with his fingers before gliding the scissors upward. You lay your hands on your boobs to keep them covered and your breath hitches quietly as the cool air hits your skin.

"Let me grab the tape."

You nod as you watch him wheel over, grabbing the white tape before coming back over. He look up at you, "If you feel uncomfortable at anytime and need or want me to stop, please tell me."

"You're fine, Jake." You smile.

That wasn't a lie, you were, oddly enough, more comfortable with him than you were with any of your actual guy friends.

"I'm just saying. I don't want you writing a bad yelp review." He tries not to laugh but fails which causes you to laugh, "Oh yeah, I'm going to totally go home after this and write the worst review ever."

"Maybe that'll make the girls in the instagram comments stay away." He snickers as he shakes his head while taping down the shirt to your skin.

"You saw them?" You drop your hands and he look up with a nod, "Oh yeah." He rolls his eyes and sighs, "But I seen you liked it, so thanks for that."

You can feel your cheeks heating as he pushes himself back, "Oh, that. Yeah, i was just.. showing love to my favorite tattoo shop, you know."

Way to play it cool, y/n, you mentally slap yourself as you sit down on the table again.

He chuckles, "No I appreciate that. I know being a new artist to some is kind of scary, but Corey said he would hype me up and it obviously worked, since you're sitting on my table."

You laugh, "he did. Don't worry. He said your art was sick and I have to agree with him. You do some good work, Jake."

He smiles as he holds up a fresh, unopened needle, "Steril, clean." He brings it down to open it up, "Thank you. I appreciate getting that confirmed." He chuckles as he puts everything together.

You make small talk while he gets the stencil ready, asking where you're both from, what you do for work, this and that.

"alright, if you would come stand in front of me." He points with his pinky to the floor in front of him. You walk over to him and he rubs soap onto your skin before shaving the spot the stencil is going to be.

You look in the mirror, watching Jake as he works to get you ready.

"I'm actually nervous about this. I heard this spot hurt."

He smirks, "everyone is different, you know pain tolerance and all, but considering you have a few others, I think you'll be fine. If you need to take a break or two, or five.." he laughs slightly, "Just let me know."

You nod, "Sounds good."

He applies a thin layer of the stencil solution to your skin before turning around to pick up the thin layer of paper, "Alright. Nice and straight and stay as still as you can for me."

You let your hands hang by your sides as you try to control your breathing. You glance in the mirror, watching as Jake smooths out the stencil over your sternum and under your boobs.

"I think, this is going to be a sick ass tattoo." Jake leans back, letting the stencil sit for a few seconds before gently peeling it off, "take a look at that, let me know if you need it moved or anything."

He watches as you turn to look at the stencil in the mirror. You nod, "That's good. I like where it's at."

He nods, "Then we'll let that dry for a few minutes then I guess we'll get right into it." He smiles as he turns away to pour the ink into the little cups.

"I know your post said you've been tattooing for a while, but I'm nosey, so how long is a while exactly?" You sit back down, making sure to keep your body as straight as you can.

He laughs slightly, "Well, if you must know." He glances at you with a smirk, "I was an apprentice for about two years then I worked with an artist in the city for a little bit until I got a call from Corey."

"Did Corey find you on Instagram?" You reach up to run your hand through your hair and Jake laughs, "No, actually. My friend Sam got him in touch with me."

You blink, "Wait. Sam.. what's his last name?"

"Golbach."

"Shut up."

"I'm confused." Jake laughs and you shake your head, "No, no. I know Sam."

"Really? No fuckin' way." Jake's mouth drops open, "How do you know Sam?"

"My family knows his family. Ever since we were little." You shake your head, "That's crazy. Maybe it is a small world after all."

"Yeah, yeah." He smiles, "It sure is."

You smile and after a few seconds of silence, he points, "I'm going to check your stencil if that's okay."

"Oh no." You push your chest out, "Go ahead."

He walks up, gently rubbing his finger over the end part and nods, "Ready?"

You take a deep breath, "I guess so." You laugh as you swing your legs up, lying back on the table. Jake sits down, wheeling himself and the cart over.

You hear the buzzing of the tattoo gun and you take a deep breath. Jake applies a thin layer of Vaseline over the stencil, "Alright. If you need a break at all, let me know."

"Alright." You nod, taking in a deep breath before he anchors your skin down to start.

.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.

Halfway through the tattoo, you opted for a break.

Jake takes your hand, helping you sit up. You swing your legs over the edge of the table, "Thank you."

He nods, taking off his gloves before shrugging off his jean jacket, revealing a t-shirt with the sleeves cut off.

"I like your tattoos." You smile as your eyes move over his tatted skin. He smiles, "Thanks. I'm kind of an addict when it comes to them."

"Tattoos are hot, so it's okay." You smirk at him as you get up to look into the mirror. He walks up behind you, "Yeah, they really are." His eyes move from your half finished tattoo to your eyes and his lips form into a smirk before he turns away.

"Do you care if I go out and have a smoke real quick?"

You shake your head, "Nope. You're good." You smile at him, "Take your time."

"So sweet." He smiles and pulls the pack from his jacket pocket, "I don't know if you smoke, but I'd feel like it would be rude of me not to offer you one."

You laugh and shake your head, "I only smoke when I'm drinking, or drunk, I should say."

"Nothing wrong with a drink and smoke." He smiles and puts a cigarette between his lips, "I'll be back."

You nod, bending down to get your phone out so you can snap a picture of your tattoo progress. You laugh when you read over the text from your friend, oh my god. He is absolutely beautiful. You're letting him see your tits? Lucky day for both of you lol

You roll your eyes, taking a picture of your current state, He gave me his shirt and cut it so he could keep me covered. He's honestly very respectful, but we're halfway done. I'll send you a picture when it's all done.

You walk back over and toss your phone in your bag before going back to sit on the table. As you sit and wait for Jake, you can't help but think about how you feel like you've known Jake for years.

You clicked with him, so fast that it was actually kind of scary.

"I brought you a water." Jake says as he rounds the corner into the room. You look up, smiling as you take it, "Thank you so much."

You open it, taking a sip before lifting your legs to rest them on the table, "How was your smoke?"

He nods, "It was alright." He laughs as he grabs new gloves, "Don't worry, I washed my hands when I came in."

"No worries, I trust you." You smile, watching as he pulls the black gloves over his hands.

He had nice hands. Very. Nice hands.

"Are you ready to start again?" Jake snaps you out of your stare and you smile, "Yes. Yes I am." You lay back on the table as look over at Jake, "So is this your first sternum piece?"

He looks up at you, "Mm, not really. I did a touch up on one other, but her boyfriend stared me down the whole time."

"Oh I bet that was awkward." You stare up at the ceiling, "I hate that. I hate people in general."

Jake chuckles before he starts tattooing, "I totally get what you mean."

"Oh, I don't hate you. I hope you didn't ta-"

He cuts you off, "Not at all. Not at all." He smiles as he continues, "Don't take this the wrong way, but you have beautiful skin."

You bite down on your lip, smiling as you feel your cheeks turning red, "Thank you? I think."

He leans back, wiping your skin, "I meant that as a compliment, sorry if it didn't sound like one."

"No, no. It did. I just.. never got that compliment before."

"Really?" He shakes his head, "People are missing out to see you smile, then." He glances up at you, and you can tell that he's just as comfortable with you as you are with him.

You didn't really believe in love at first site stuff, but you did believe in that click, and that click is what you have with him.

"Alright, now this part might hurt a lot more than the bottom piece, so if you need another break, just tell me."

You give him a nod, biting down on your lip as he starts the vine that's between your boobs.

"Oh.. gosh.." you take calming breathes as he was right, it does hurt, "you were right."

You close your eyes, trying to think of something else and Jake helps with that.

"Have you lived here long?"

"Kind of." You say instantly, "I've been here a few years. I actually only live a few streets over in the Green Ridge apartment building."

"Nice, nice." Jake wipes away and gives you a little breather, "Do you have any pets?"

"I have a cat." You laugh slightly, "I would love a dog, but my building doesn't have the grass around it for them to go out, you know."

"Oh man. Of course not. What's your cat's name?"

You laugh slightly, "Um. It's mystic. He's a fluffy grey cat and I got the name from The Vampire Diaries." You wince slightly as you feel the needle piercing your skin, "I'll show you a picture when we're done."

"I would love to see it." He smiles as he moves onto the next part, "I don't have any pets. Mainly because I spend most of my time in the shop, whether it's drawings or tattooing, I just like being here."

"Did you draw that moon phase picture above the mirror?" Your eyes move to the frame and back to him, "Yeah I did." He looks up at you with a smile, "it wasn't easy, took me forever but I finally finished it."

"Do you.. think you can draw me a flower piece that connects to the top of this one?"

He nods, "I'd be honored."

.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.

Two hours of talking and tattooing later, Jake is up by your shoulder, leaning over you to finish the top of your tattoo, "We are almost done, sweetheart."

The cute little pet name makes your stomach flip and your cheeks turn pink, "Okay." You say quietly with a smile, "I'm so excited to see it."

"I may be biased, since I'm the one who's doing it, but it's so pretty." He nods, "I like it."

"I'm sure I will too."

"If you don't like it, you can tell me. I promise I'll wait to cry until you leave." He laughs and turns to get more ink.

"I don't think you'll need to cry. From what I already saw, I'm in love with it already." You smile at him and he nods, "I'm glad."

His arm lays over your shoulder, resting under your chin. You close your eyes, feeling the vibrations move through his arm and before you know it.

You're done.

Jake leans back, "Well.." he wipes off your skin, "we're done."

"Already?" You smirk, "That didn't even take long."

He laughs as he helps you sit up, your hand in his and his other on the center of your back, "Take a look."

You glance down before sliding off the table. You walk over to the mirror and your jaw drops, "Oh my god."

"Go easy on me, I'm sensitive." He holds his hands up and laughs.

"No, Jake. This is .. this is beautiful." You turn back to look at it more, "By far my favorite tattoo."

"I'm glad you love it. I love it too." He sprays a paper towel and sits down, "I'm just going to wipe it off some more then take a picture if you don't mind?"

You turn to face him, "I don't mind." You smile as you step towards him, feeling that relief as he wipes over the completed tattoo. (A/n: if you ever had a tattoo, you know exactly what I'm talking about.)

He rests his hand on your hip as his eyes move over the tattoo, wiping it in different spots, "Beautiful."

You look down at him and he smirks, "That tattoo looks pretty good, too." He winks before turning to grab his phone.

Okay, so there's something there. You weren’t imagining it.

You take a deep breath, licking your lips as you turn to look at it in the mirror again, admiring his work.

"Alright." Jake says, "Ready when you are."

You turn back to him, standing up as straight as possible as he snaps a few pictures.

"Got them. I'll probably post it later if you're okay with that?" He looks up at you and you nod, "Whatever you want to do. I'm covered."

"I definitely wouldn't post them if you weren't." He chuckles and points, "Do you want me to take that tape off or did you want to do it at home?"

"You can take it off and I'll just wrap the shirt over and we can slap a new piece on if that'll work?" You motion to pulling the shirt over and he nods, "oh yeah, that will totally work. Do you want me to cover it?"

"Oh yes. Please." You nod and he gives you a thumbs up before turning around to grab some Saniderm. He holds up the piece, "I think that'll be good for the bottom, I'll cut a skinnier piece for the vine part."

You nod, letting him do whatever he needs to do.

He runs his hands over the clear covering and then moves to take the tape off, "If you wanted to grab this side, I'll go ahead and work at getting these pieces off."

"Okay." You hold the side against you as he peels each piece of tape off on the other side before you hold that side of the shirt against you.

You pull the shirt over, holding it there until he grabs a new piece, "Thank you again, for the shirt, for cutting your shirt, and for doing all of this."

"It's not a problem at all, y/n." He smiles as he rubs the piece of tape to stick to the fabric, "Thank you for allowing me to do this."

"Corey said you were good, I just wanted to see how good." You smile and step back. He smiles, "Well I appreciate your curiosity getting the best of you."

"Of course." You nod and go over to grab your jacket, slipping it on before grabbing your bag, "Do you want me to meet you out front then?"

He nods, "Yeah that'll be good."

"Okay." You walk out to the front and Corey looks up, "Well, I see you're alive. How was it?"

"Painful. But.. worth it." You laugh and rest your bag on the counter, "You have a good artist back there."

He tilts his head, "Good as in he does good work, or good as in you like him?" He smirks and you shrug, "Is it okay to say both?"

He chuckles and rolls his eyes, "I guess." His eyes move behind you as Jake walks out. He moves behind you and around to stand next to Corey.

You hand him the money the amount for the tattoo and he squints his eyes, "How much did you and Vienna agree on?"

"Three fifty." You say and Jake laughs, "I'll take two."

You sigh, "then I'm leaving you a big tip."

He chuckles and Corey looks between the two of you, "I have to go.. check on something.. I think." He laughs as he walks away, leaving you and Jake at the desk.

"I'm not leaving until you take it." You rest it down on the counter and Jake sighs, "You're persistent."

"I like to show my appreciation." You smirk and he picks up the cash, "Fine." He smirks and sets it down on the desk, "Are we looking at scheduling another?"

"Is that even a question?" You laugh and Jake sighs, "Yeah, a dumb question." He laughs and looks at his schedule, "When did you want to come back in? For the shoulder connecting piece, right?"

You nod, "Um, we can do like two, three weeks? That should give you enough time to draw it up for me."

"Okay." He bends down, clicking on the computer, "Does the twenty first sound good?"

"That's perfect." You smile and watch as he writes down the date on an appointment card. He hands it to you and right when he's about to say something else, the door opens and you both look over.

A guy walks in, smiling at both of you.

"Hey Matt, I'll be right with you." Jake nods to him and looks back at you. You sigh, "Thanks again, Jake. I really appreciate it."

"Anytime."

And with that, you leave the shop, mentally beating yourself up that you didn't ask him out.

.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.

A few days later

The last few days have been painful and irritating as you can't really sleep comfortably yet.

So it's two am, you're wide awake, and your phone goes off.

Who could that be, you think as you sit up, leaning over to grab it.

Hey, y/n. It's Jake. I'm so sorry that it's so late but I cannot stop thinking about you.

Your mouth drops slightly as you feel an excited rush roll over your body. You smile, biting your lip as your thumbs quickly tap the screen, Hi Jake. I'm glad to see that we both feel the same way.

You clutch your phone, anxiously awaiting his response.

Okay, wow. This is embarrassing. I honestly didn't expect you to be awake, but then again I'm glad you are. I wanted to ask you out at the shop the other day but I was so fucking nervous.

You giggle slightly, happy that you finally got the message you were waiting for, or waiting for the courage to send.

You tap the screen biting down on your lip as you send the message, You're literally taking the words right out of my mouth. I was so nervous, too.

You see the bubbles pop up, disappear, and then pop up again before he finally sends his message, This might be a long shot, but what are you doing right now?

You look at your screen confused but you answer, I can't sleep so I'm just lying in bed wide awake.

He answers, almost instantly, Do you want to take a drive?

You answer instantly, Yes, please.

You send him your address and he responds, I'll be there in twenty, I'll text you when I'm there.

You kick the blankets off, hurrying over to grab a pair of sweats and a sweatshirt from your closet. You brush your hair, not worrying about anything else before you walk out to your living room to wait.

You were kind of nervous, but at the same time, you were so excited to see him.

Twenty minutes later, your phone lights up and it's a text from Jake, I'm parked out front in the Tesla.

You grab your bag, making sure you have your keys before walking out of the door. You walk down, smiling at his car as you walk towards it.

He smiles at you through the windshield, leaning across the consol to open the door for you.

"Thank you." You say as you get in and shut the door. You turn towards him as you buckle, giving him a quiet, "Hey."

"Hey." He smiles and looks away, "god why am I so nervous?" He laughs and looks back at you. You shrug, "I asked myself that, too. A few times on the way out here."

He smile and shakes his head, "I figured we could stop, get some snacks before we drive around?"

You nod, "That's good with me."

"Okay." He nods and starts driving, "So. I have to ask. Are the lines on your tattoo straight?"

"I think so." You look at him, "Why do you ask?"

"Because.." he laughs, "I had to force myself to not shake."

You laugh slightly, "Aw, Why were you shaking?" He looks over at you, "I started shaking the minute you turned around to look at me in the lobby."

"Well you did a good job at covering it up because I couldn't even tell you were." You smirk and he sighs, "Well that's a relief." He looks over at you, "Tattoo healing okay?"

You nod, "Oh yeah. I took the stuff off two days ago I think?" You look over at him, "Do you want to see it?"

"If you're okay with that." He nods, "I'd love to."

He pulls into the parking lot and you unbuckle, bunching up your sweatshirt to reveal the underboob part of the tattoo, "I love it."

He raises his eyebrows, "That looks so good."

You nod, "It's healing perfectly."

He smiles as he points to the building, "Shall we go get some car ride snacks?"

You nod, "Let's do it."

You get out, walking in with him. You stay close to him, mainly because you're just happy to be with him. You grab some snacks and a drink, making your way up and Jake takes you stuff from your arms to pay.

"You don't have to do that." You say and he looks back at you, "You got out of bed at two in the morning for me, it's the least I could do."

You roll your eyes with a smile and wait for him to grab the bag before you walk out. You get back in the car and Jake looks over at you, staring for a few seconds.

"What?" You ask shyly, "Is there something on my face?" You brush your face and Jake laughs, "No." he sighs, "You are just.. amazing."

He laughs nervously and you smile as you look down, "So are you."

He turns towards you , word vomit spilling out, "I definitely would have asked you out the day you were at the shop, but I didn't want to do it with Matt standing and.. and then I thought that I could wait until your next appointment with me, but I couldn't so I got your number from your client profile and I just.. had to see you sooner."

"I'm glad you did. I was beating myself up over not saying anything." You sigh, "Plus. You're worth getting out of bed at two in the morning for."

He smiles and shakes his head, "That.. is sweet. Thank you."

You laugh, "I'm just glad we feel the same."

"You had me when you first looked at me, but you really got me at I hate everyone." He laughs, "I'm just glad that it wasn't all in my head."

You shake your head, "Nope. It's not."

.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.

As usual, let me know how you liked this. Thank you for reading! Love you all!

Likes and reblogs are greatly appreciated 🖤

[emmyspov]

Prioritise yourself (Thranduil x Reader)

author's note: happy easter to everyone who celebrates it and a happy weekend to all either way🪻this is honestly one of the most scary things i've posted because it's something so personal that i relate to a lot, but i thought maybe someone else might need it, too🥺 please always remember that nothing will ever be more important than your health and well-being 🩷

warnings: symptoms of burnout, lack of sleep, exhaustion, negative self-talk, skipping meals, mentions of food, nudity (for taking a bath together) - please please please let me know if I forgot something! 🩷

word count: 1.9k

edit is mine, all pics are from pinterest :)

It had seemed like a smart idea when you offered Thranduil to help him with all the paperwork.

His days were filled with meetings and more often than not he only returned to your chambers once it was dark already.

So, for the past few months, you had been - more or less secretly - helping him with whatever you could: sending out invitations to other royals, filing away documents, re-writing contracts so all that would be left to do was sign them.

You were the king's partner after all and you wanted to help him as much as possible. This was your kingdom, your home, as much as it was his, as he regularly reminded you.

Thranduil noticed, obviously. The hours in his study were reduced since most things were taken care of in a perfect way already - he could return to your private rooms right after dinner and spend time with you instead which the Elvenking appreciated immensely.

However, over the past few weeks, things have taken a turn. And Thranduil noticed that, too.

How, on some days, you would get up earlier than him, how you would skip lunch and dinner with him - although it was one of your favorite things since you got to spend it with one another during your otherwise busy schedules - and instead eat by yourself, hunched over some papers. He noticed your tired eyes and dull skin and- lack happiness, to cut it short.

Worry didn't even remotely describe what he was feeling. He felt sick to his stomach when he thought about you being unhappy.

Today was no different.

You had gotten up before sunrise, leaving your husband a little love letter, before entering your own study to take care of all official things.

There was a lot to do. Other elves as much as people from Laketown and even dwarves were sending letters, hoping to schedule a meeting with the king himself to talk over whatever was bothering them.

You made it your mission to answer every single one of them, noting down appointments and also sending out excuses if Thranduil wasn't the right one to talk to when it came to certain matters.

By the end of the day, your head was pounding. You let out a yawn and rubbed your eyes, hoping to relieve some of the pressure behind them, but to no use.

Closing them for only a minute wouldn't hurt. You could still look for your husband afterwards.

A line had been crossed for the Elvenking.

It was the second day in a row that you skipped your shared meals and from what he just learned, you weren't eating them at all.

He needed to talk to you. He wouldn’t - and couldn’t - let you destroy yourself over some work. Your happiness and well being came first and he would make you realise that, no matter the cost.

After reaching your study and receiving no answer to his knocks, he let himself in with determined steps, only to stop abruptly as soon as he saw your sleeping figure. His eyes softened immediately.

"Oh, meleth."

With two big steps, he was by your side, crouching down until he was on eye level with you. Even in your sleep, you looked stressed, your eyebrows scrunched up, reminding him of the times you woke up from a bad dream.

"What are you doing to yourself, hm?"

Gentle, as if you would break like glass if he touched you with too much force, he picked you up and carried you out of the room and into your shared bed chamber where he set you down on the soft mattress and covered you with a fluffy blanket.

Thranduil left the room again for only a few moments so he could blow out the candle in your study and put everything where it belonged. He himself hated to work at a messy desk and didn't want you to deal with the same thing once you would return to work, although he didn't want to think about that yet. For now, you needed rest and all the love and care you could get.

He returned to your bedroom after he spoke to some of his subordinates to let them know neither he nor you would be available in the next three days.

You were still fast asleep, curled up into the blanket. The king walked over to you and slowly began to remove all your uncomfortable clothing before he himself put on a night gown.

Only then did he lay down next to you, carefully maneuvering your body into his arms, your head on his chest. Even in your sleep you wrapped your arm around his waist and entangled your legs, letting out a small sigh.

"Sleep, meleth, you've been working too hard", your husband whispered and brought his delicate fingertips up to brush some hair out of your face before letting them trail down to your back, rubbing some calming circles into your shoulder. "I'll watch over you, I promise."

And Thranduil kept his word.

He stayed up to make sure you slept through the night, occasionally pressing a kiss to your temple or the top of your head while his fingers were always touching you in some way.

It was nearly lunch time when you woke up the next day.

After noticing you were still cuddled up with your husband although the sun was already shining into the room, you immediately sat up.

"I- I overslept, oh Varda, there is so much to do. Why didn’t you wake me, my love?"

With a gentle force, Thranduil pressed you back onto the mattress.

"You've been overworking yourself for weeks and your health and happiness are suffering in return. I told everyone we wouldn't be available for the next few days. For the foreseeable future, we'll only take care of you."

You didn't want to cry. And you tried really hard to keep the tears at bay, but when the Elvenking looked at you with so much love in his eyes, you couldn’t stop them.

"I'm sorry for failing you, my king."

The elf wrapped his arms around you and pulled you close. "Oh meleth, no. No, you didn't fail me, you never have. And you never will."

"I can't even take care of myself", you hiccuped, burying your face in the crook of his neck. "It's like the work and the pressure never stop and I'll never be good enough and now I am sitting here, crying to you, a literal king who has way more responsibility than me. I am so sorry to burden you with this."

Thranduil's heart was breaking. He couldn't believe this was how you saw yourself when, to him, you were the most beautiful being in all of Middle Earth.

"You are never a burden to me. Do you hear me? Never. We can fix this. You have to learn how to prioritise yourself. I can teach you. I will teach you. And we will start right now. You must be hungry, what do you want to eat?"

You fumbled around with your hands before looking up at the Elvenking. "Could I have some pancakes?"

Thranduil leaned forward to press a kiss against your nose. "Whatever you want, meleth nîn."

With one swift motion, he got up, put on one of his majestic robes and made his way to the kitchen to order your beloved pancakes and some additional treats as well as some hot and cold beverages.

He returned to your chambers with a first tray of food, watching your face lit up with delight at the sweet smell.

"Here you go, my love. Eat as much as you want and take all the time you need. There are no other things that need to get done today or the next few days."

You nodded and grabbed a plate, happily munching on the food the servants were bringing in over time.

The king was watching you carefully while he himself ate something. It was more than obvious that all the food was good for your mind, body and soul.

You let yourself fall back against the sheets when you were done, letting out a satisfied sigh. "That was good."

"It is about to get better. What do you think of a bath?"

Your eyes lit up. "Right now?"

The elf couldn't help but let out a soft chuckle. "Is that what you want?"

You sat up, enthusiastically bouncing on the mattress and nodding your head. "Yes, please!"

Thranduil stood up again and walked into the bathroom, filling the tub with hot water and your favourite bath salts and flower petals before coming back to you.

With ease, he wrapped his arms around you and lifted you off the bed, carrying you into the bathroom.

"Arms up", he ordered gently and removed your clothing, doing the same to himself afterwards.

"You're so handsome", you breathed out as you softly pressed your hand against his chest, right above his heart. "I'm so lucky to have you."

Thranduil's heart started to beat faster under your touch and praise and you smiled, feeling butterflies in your stomach at the fact that you still had this effect on him.

He lifted you into the tub, setting you down and lowering himself behind you, pulling your body flush against his chest.

"I'm the lucky one."

You shook your head before letting it fall back against his shoulder. "You take care of me when I can't do it myself."

The king's deft fingers brushed through your hair, letting them trail down your arm. "We take care of each other. You are the one who decreased my work load so I'd have more time."

You intertwined your hands. "Well, of course. I want you to be well."

A kiss was pressed against the top of your head. "Do you see my point?"

You nodded. "I think I do."

Thranduil let his thumb brush over the back of your hand. "Tomorrow, we can take a walk in the garden and look at all the blossoming flowers. Or we can do whatever else will make you happy."

A smile graced your lips. "Just being with you makes me happy."

Gently, the ellon grabbed your chin and turned your head around so he could kiss you. You melted into his embrace, smiling against his lips.

"Gi melin", he whispered after you two had parted for air and you replied with the same sentiment.

Once you two had soaked in the water for a while, the Elvenking grabbed your shampoo and lathered up his hands before bringing them up to your scalp to work in the product.

The more time you spend like this with your husband - in your little bubble of happiness and safety - the lighter your heart felt.

And it only got better when Thranduil's hands wandered down your head to your neck and shoulders, massaging your tense muscles to help you relax even further.

You shuddered and the king grinned to himself. He was just as pleased as you were earlier that his touch could, still, make you weak in the knees.

"Rest, meleth", he whispered as he continued to work on your upper back. "There will be time to talk about long-term adjustments and solutions, but for now, you can let yourself fall. I'll be there to catch you."

Everything-Taglist: @shadowhuntyi @asgardianhobbit98 @fizzyxcustard

-> if you want to be added or removed from my taglist, just shoot me a message or an ask 🩷

[scarletevening]

polished [ simon 'ghost' riley ]

read too many mafia simon fics [ more specifically @cordeliawhohung. omg j the thought of her fics gets me all bothered.] ANWAYS. bodyguard/underdog fic of him... ugh, got me drooling. i can't help but ramble about him like this.

cw: suggestive, public teasing/mentions of public sex, some fluff, mafia au, established relationship, mostly just headcannons/rambling, no real plot, obsessive-ish simon, fem! reader.

simon "takes care of what belongs to him" riley who doesn't let you even see the bill of the restaurant he takes you to. only taking you to restaurants that have his card at registration, that don't ever print and only e-mail receipts.

who acts like all hell will break loose if you even try to pull out your wallet, immediately wrapping his large hand around yours, smiling as his gruff voice mumbles to the waitress, or cashier, or bartender, or whoever else would be cashing you out. even when you pout and whine, he chuckled, his lips curving into a smile and he pulls his mask just over them, to shush you with a kiss.

simon riley who never lets you slip away from his touch, smiling as he lets you sit on his meaty thigh, your back pressed against his broad shoulders as you sit in the private room with some... friends. you knew otherwise, with the way the women changed every hour, but you didn't. you stayed, the hand splayed around your waist unmoving as his masked face trails its lips down your spine, kissing the nape of you neck through the fabric.

who makes sure to schedule every appointment for his girl. your nails, your brows, you spa, anything else you want, need, desire. he'll do it, he'll wash more money, wake a little earlier, blaming it on a morning run, bidding you goodbye with a kiss on your forehead, closing your bedroom door to load his gun. but it didn't matter, not when he got to see your cute little face warm up and smile, thanking him in that sweet coo as you tugged gently at his collar; a kiss as a thank you.

simon riley who makes sure you never, ever, ever are alone, unsafe, without him. he goes everywhere with you, the grocery store, he loiters at your little diner as your best tipping customer, sitting beside you as you get your nails done. and even when you think it's just you and your girlfriends, giggling and drinking tea from cute china cups, he's had some snake through the security cameras for him to watch. to keep you safe.

who never lets you take charge, who makes sure he can fulfill all of your desires. learns all your reactions, how the way his mask rustles against your cheek makes you blush as he whispers into your ears. how you always bat your eyelashes when you get needy. how you can barely last an hour with the way his rough fingers tap at your waist in the private club, watching the other couples flirt. how you let him tease you on his lap, as if no one else could see the way his fingers snuck under your skirt. how you always forget your own name when you feel the knot tightening in your belly, so impatient as he forced you to wait until you were in your own bed to satisfy you.

simon riley that learned how to cook your favorite breakfast so every morning after. bringing you tea, a plate of food, and a kiss to bed as you woke up, marked up and sore. you happily tucked you into his chest as he held a silver spoon to your lips.

who loves you dearly, the apple of his eyes, the sun to his moon, his woman.

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

i didn't mean to make it this long... hehe. if you recognize the car in the banner... i fucking love you. [pls buy me one.] edit: i literally forgot to fix the tag before i posted imma cry.

directory

[qprstobin]

Stobin Different First Meeting AU where they go to prom together. This was meant to be an au post and turned into a mini fic oops (written completely within a tumblr post so sorry for the poor quality)

(edit: realized I should link the fic I was inspired by for those who don't follow me and so didn't see me reblog it earlier)

Steve doesn't necessarily want to go to prom, right? Like yeah, he'd been imagining it for a while, but now that he was very, very single it just didn't have the same shine that it used to. And he really wasn't ready to start dating yet. However, he didn't want to just, not go to prom, and also knew it would seem really weird (and pretty fucking sad) if he didn't go.

Which leaves him in a conundrum.

He thought for a while that maybe he would go with one of the junior cheerleaders. While he didn't have any close friends anymore, he was still friendly with plenty of people. There were girls that wouldn't be going to prom unless they had a senior boyfriend - some he had even gone on dates with in the past who wouldn't think a single prom date meant that he wanted a new girlfriend.

However, he is pretty sure most of those girls would have... other expectations for the night. And honestly? He isn't quite sure that he was ready to get back on that horse either.

... Not that he thought women were horses.

He's pretty sure men are normally the ones called horses in riding metaphors.

Anyway.

That left him stuck. He couldn't just not go to prom, but also didn't want to wind up trapped on an actual date with someone. So who could he ask?

His solution ended up coming from an odd place.

Robin Buckley was... quite honestly, kind of a weirdo.

She was cute, in an alternative sort of way. She never took any of his shit (he wasn't completely sure she even liked him) but also reluctantly laughed at the snarky shit he said under his breath during their Film History class. And not in the fake giggly way girls did when they were flirting, but didn't actually care about what he was saying, just the way he said it. She actually seemed to think he was funny. Even if that revelation seemed to piss her off.

The only reason he was even in Film History that semester - and therefore, knew who she was - was for the easy A. He got to watch movies in class, and watch movies for homework. He was willing to plow through a couple of shitty essays in exchange for a class that he didn't feel like a complete idiot in.

(Well, he was pretty sure Robin thought he was an idiot about movies, but just because he had trouble remembering the names and shit of characters, didn't mean he couldn't analyze the themes, fuck you very much, Buckley.)

They had gotten assigned a project together early on, and it hadn't been completely terrible. She had quickly taken over doing most of the writing portions, but hadn't thought all of his ideas were terrible. By the end of the project he thought they were even sort of having fun together.

He'd always been one to try his luck, take a little more than he was given. So, after that assignment was over, he started sitting next to her in class, not wanting that easy, if sharp, camaraderie to end. Robin rolled her eyes at him and asked him what he thought he was doing the first time he did it, but she never sent him away.

They ended up chatting more and more during down times, passing notes to each other and sharing sly comments under their breaths during the movies. Steve often had trouble paying attention at school, his mind easily wandering away, and it was almost as bad during most movies, but Robin helped keep him on track.

The class turned into one that was done for the easy grade, a last ditch effort to improve his already hopeless GPA, and became one he actually enjoyed.

The more he thought about it, the more he liked the idea of going to prom with Robin. It made the night seem a little less unbearable.

He thought about making a big deal out of asking her, because he knows that's what girls (and even Nancy) had enjoyed for past dances. He quickly scrapped that idea, however, because not only did he not want to put pressure on her like that, but also she seemed to hate public spectacles like that.

Or at least when aimed at her, they both enjoyed watching drama unfold in the halls a bit too much to say she hated it completely.

So Steve waits until the end of the day, their film class being their last, to pull her into an empty classroom. She follows him without question in a show of trust he didn't realize she had in him. The notion warms him, and for some reason makes it more difficult to get the question out.

"Why do I feel like you're about to try to sell me drugs or something?" Robin asked, raising an eyebrow at him. He squints at her in offense.

"Why is that your first assumption?!"

"I don't know! Why else are you pulling me out of the hallway all secretive like, making sure no one followed us, into an abandoned classroom," she asks, throwing her arms into the air.

"The classroom isn't abandoned, it's the end of the day! Also, who does drug deals on campus, that's just stupid?" He asks rhetorically, before waving one hand through the air, as if trying to erase the current thread of conversation. "That doesn't matter, you're distracting me."

"Well then, get on with it! Some of us have practice we need to get to."

"It's like talking to the kids," he mutters to himself, "Whatever. I wanted to ask - will you go to prom with me?"

That stops Robin up short. There's panic in her eyes now, though Steve isn't sure what exactly put it there. Was his reputation that bad that even band geeks are terrified of getting asked out by him?

"You want to go on a date? With me?" she asks slowly, disbelief coloring her voice, though it doesn't hide her unease.

"No, I want to go to prom with you," he scoffs, "Not go on a date with you."

"That is a date, dingus! The person you go to prom with is literally called your date!"

"Okay, sure, maybe, but I don't actually want to date you," he said, rolling his eyes at her.

Like, okay, he understood his reputation for being... what did she call him last week? A 'huge effing rake'? But that didn't mean that he was trying to date any girl that looked in his direction. A lot of girls looked in his direction. That was too many women, even for him.

Robin relaxes a little at that.

"Then why are you asking me to prom instead of someone you actually want to date?"

"Because!" he says, resisting the urge to flail his hands back at her. "I don't want to date anyone right now. Most people I ask are going to expect all these things from me - they're going to want dinner, and at the very least a kiss at the end of the night if not more, or another date the very next day. Because Steve Harrington is supposed to want those things!" He takes a deep breath and runs a hand through his hair to calm himself. "But right now? I really don't."

"Well then, what does Steve the Hair Harrington actually want?" She had relaxed fully at this point, a smile playing at the corner of her mouth.

"I want to go to prom with someone I consider a friend, someone who makes me laugh," he says after a moment of silence. "I want to dance badly to really corny pop music and drink just enough spiked punch that I don't remember how much I hate wearing any sort of tie. Then I want to go get milkshakes or go see a really trashy midnight horror flick, just because I'm having so much fun I don't want the night to end."

That small smile has grown into a reluctant grin on Robin's face. It makes her eyes shine and her freckles pop. Steve thought that if he was in a better place, if they had met at a different time, he could have fallen in love with her.

But they had met now instead, in some shitty public school elective course, and she was the closest thing he had to a friend that wasn't a snotty middle schooler.

"That sounds... like a lot of fun, actually," she says, mischief sparking on her face. "Who would've known the hidden depths hidden behind all that hair."

"Hey!" he protests half-heartedly, unable to keep a grin of his own off his face. "So what do you say? Wanna go to prom with me?"

"I guess," she sighs, acting like it was such a trial to go to prom with him. Him! But her next words make up for it. "Since we're friends, and all. However, I still expect you to buy me dinner, though you can keep the kiss goodnight to yourself."

Steve can't help the giddy laugh from spilling out of him. For the first time in weeks, he is actually looking forward to prom.

[midnight-moonlite-melancholy]

This is an add on to this post about the virgin OM! boys. This one is for Beel but I'll probably be posting one of these for Levi within the next few days. I tried to make this gender neutral so I hope I did a good job. There might be some editing mistakes cuz I'm sleep deprived. Plz enjoy ♡

Nsfw - This piece includes: Mentions of oral sex (reader receiving) , size difference, unprotected sex, and mentions of fingering. (I'm bad at tagging so please lmk if I missed anything. Banner by: @/cafekitsune)

Once the clothes are off Beel can't help his urges. You have all of this sweet syrup leaking from you. He can smell it. Could he just have a taste? Just a little one? If there's one thing he knows how to do, it's eat. He'll just do what he does best. He promises to try and make it feel good. He'll hesitate at first, gently nibbling on the insides of your thighs. Your scent is so intense, luring him in for a little taste.

You can see how conflicted he is as he stares at your sex - drooling. He wants to taste you so badly but at the same time he wants to be respetful. He doesn't want you to be pressured into anything. It's not until you gently grasp a section of his hair and guide him closer that he finally gives in. But you have to promise you'll tell him if it doesn't feel good. Tell him what doesn't work so he can do better. He would hate it if he was the only one enjoying themself.

He'll start off slowly at first, tasting your sweet nectar and experimenting with soft suckles and little kitten licks. Those little sounds you make are a good sign, right? But when you close your thighs around his head he can't hold back anymore.

When it comes time to put his cock in... Can he really do this? This feels like some form of bullying. As he looks at your smaller form beneath him and his cock lined up, just screaming to be inside you, he realizes how massive he actually is. Your body seems too small and delicate to take him. You almost took his fingers off just a few minutes earlier with how tight you were.

He'll be gentle and try to fit it in though. Just the tip. You seem to want it so badly, so he'll give you what your gorgeous body has been asking for. He'll push in the tip slowly, but when he hears your little gasp, he'll pull out completely and ask if you're okay. He didn't hurt you, right? He thinks maybe he should wait a little longer, make you cum a few more times before he tries it again. But when you look at him and plead like that... He's lining himself up again and pushing into you without thinking.

He seems to be in a daze until he fills you to the brim. The noise you make as he bottoms out brings him back to reality, if only for a moment. He asks if you're okay and waits for your answer. He didn't hurt you, right? But he can hardly focus on what you're saying when you feel this good wrapped around him. Sure, he had jacked off a few times thinking about you but he never dreamed you would feel this good.

Again, without even thinking, he'll begin to slowly rock his hips back and forth as he breathlessly compliments how good you feel. He'll come back to reality again to ask you if it feels good for you too. Is there anything he could do to make it feel even better? He wants you to enjoy youself as much as he is. As he drowns in your warmth he'll start to pick up the pace, apologizing through groans for being so rough.

He'll pull your legs over his shoulders, a move he learned from some porno he saw when he walked in on Mammon, to keep you from sliding across the bed with the force of his thrusts. As he gets closer to his release he will lean down to kiss you hungrily. He'll break the kiss as he cums, reluctantly pulling out of you completely and spilling his sticky seed all over your tummy.

He'll hover above you with his hands on either side of your head, admiring your pretty cumface before he'll try to stand. It takes him a moment to steady himself before he can pick you up and carry you to the bathroom to get cleaned up, praying to Diavolo that none of his brothers see you two.

[heavenlymorals]

How a Modern Perspective Skews Historical Characters: A Mini Rant on the Hatred of Female Characters in RDR2

This isn't that organized cuz it's more a rant than a retrospective but fuck it it's my blog, I do what I want-

There are so many people who have actual hatred, not criticisms, for Abigail, Molly, Grimshaw, Mary, and other female characters in the Red Dead universe.

And honestly? I find it very interesting. Sure, men will probably always find a reason to hate a female character, but what I find interesting is how many women also hate these wonderfully crafted characters.

It could be so many reasons as to why this may be the case but honestly? I think it's because people forget that they CANNOT analyze this game authentically through the modern lens of morals and behaviors. This game takes place in 1899 America. Let me say it again. This game takes place in 1899 America.

One more time, just for good measure- this game takes place in FUCKING 1899 America. Women had to be dependent on men because otherwise? They'll either be in poverty, exploited, killed, or all three. There was also the honor system. When had to be the moral high ground for their family so them messing up has consequences on their fathers, mothers, siblings, cousins, and anyone connected to their family name.

Abigail getting pissy at John for getting in trouble all the time? If course it'd feel annoying if you're looking at it through the modern perspective but when you don't, it's a woman telling her man to act like a man and be careful because if he doesn't, she and her son will be destitute and destroyed.

Mary not getting with Arthur but using him? What's the likely hood that the law would bother to help Mary when the two people she needs help with are her father and brother- two grown men who can make their own choices that she literally can do nothing about because as a woman, it wasn't her place to dictate what they do. Arthur was her only option. "Girl, what her family thinks doesn't matter, she still should've gotten with him" girl no, because it's much harder and difficult than that- it's like tearing away an entire identity that you depend on to fucking survive.

"but what about Sadie? She was also living during this time period and she isn't drowned by societal expectations-"

Seriously. Do some research, read a book, expand your knowledge of gender roles and what that entails for people because it explains so many things about these characters in such a human way. They aren't "bitches", they are women of their time and people have to understand that.

No. Sadie isn't a part of this discussion because though she is a fun character and an amazing character, she is a mishmash of historical women who did masculine things to survive at one point but then went back to traditional roles, even if they did occasionally go back to to those old activities for sport sometimes, like Anne Oakley or Calamity Jane. Sadie's entire character is basically "but what if they didn't and committed to the nontraditional lifestyle". There are many inconsistencies that Rockstar did regarding the time period that they established earlier to accommodate Sadie's character better. Sadie is a great character but she doesn't belong in this discussion.

Edit: Ok, since this was a rant, as mentioned previously, I was a bit too rushed with the Sadie aspect of this post and ignored some crucial details. I'm not gonna change the post besides just this though. @hillbillyhipster84 made some great points that Sadie was a reference to Appalachian women and real outlaw women who did run and were accomplices in men's crimes, that I was too ignorant to mention prior beforehand because I didn't do much research. I still don't believe that People should use Sadie to bash the other women though, because those women mentioned above were not the status quo and thus were more trivialized because of it.

So many cultures still operate like this too so if anything, you're just learning something new about another culture.

But I swear, anytime someone talks shit about these characters, y'all got me looking like this-

[icarustypicalfall]

There you are

MASTERLIST

summary: period comfort, no further explanation

warnings: SFW fem! reader, periods, tiny headcanons\fic sorry

note: not proofread, I'll edit it later

Also I'll post another fic about rudy in the day, i am just emptying my head or I'll explode.

“Like fire weeping from a cedar tree, know that my love would burn with me We'll live eternally”

This man is just too sweet :(

Rudy is usually just too sweet, he never stops offering affection, his gentle touch and tiny kisses are enough to cease your worries and sorrow.

He always keeps a snack and water in his nightstand in case you woke up at night.

When you wanted to come over, he was more than excited. He wanted to pamper you and take care of you.

His strongest trait is how observant and thoughtful he can be.

Rudy loved you deerly, he wished to give you the Ultimest love and unlimited comfort.

He offered to go shopping "to restock his apartment"

Secretly wanting to know what brands you used/prefered so he gets some for you, "just in case" :(

He ended getting more than just one packet of tampons.

Rudy got a whole section of sanitary/hygiene products and put them in a special drawer in his bathroom.

He even got your prefered soap and conditioner. Along a vanilla scented candle and a plushie :(

You thought he'll change after some time?

Ha

Jokes on you

Turns out he planned to be the sweetest man till his last breath :((

Today, because it had to be today :(

He figured out something was wrong when you woke up earlier than you usually do.

You were restless, fidgeting and roaming around.

He realized you were on your period when you kept holding your stomach and complain about back pain and headaches.

Your burning cheeks as you nodded, saying you were okay were the key.

Why were you embarrassed of telling him?

He didn't understand this embarrassment, you had nothing to feel shame about.

Rudy made sure to check the calendar and marked it down.

He did even keep a tracker on his phone for this time of month. Why wouldn't he?

He uttered, eyeing your tired form

"you alright, mi Cielo?"

He sighed when you nodded with an embarrassed yes.

You were lying

You were in fact, facing the ultimate- greatest - throeful - most painful period cramp of your entire existence.

You shed a tear while keeping the huge grin from ear to ear

Ha

You thought that'll fool him?

Nuh uh

He told you to go lay while he prepared something

Rudy preppared you a cup of warm tea, smiling as he handed you the cup

You sipped the hot drink, grateful for his kindness

He whispered, sitting beside you on the coach.

"There is no need to be embarrassed...I get it...you are not feeling well, and thats understandable, I just want you to be comfortable."

He smiled, stroking your cheek with his thumb.

When you finally told him, he chuckled, kissing your forehead.

"Thats alright, I figured you had it...just wanted to be here for you, mija"

You thought he'll be annoyed because of your mood swings or cravings?

Ha

Fool

"You are not whiny nor too sensative. You are just a human being...there is nothing to be guilty of, cariña.

"We can take the day off and rest at home with some pizza and icecream..."

He was startled when you started to tear up.

"Mi amor if you don't want pizza we can make something else!"

He nodded when you explained through tears you were just a tid more emotional, and he was just too sweet:(

Rudy kissed your tears, his lips brushing over your eye lids and cheeks :(

He smiled, uttering.

"I love you...you deserve the world, amor, you hear me?"

He said in a soft tender tone, letting his eyes roam on your tired face.

"we will have a nice day and you must rest as much as you want. I got you, amor..."

He ended by making the best pizzas. He gave you medicine, a warm bottle to put on your tummy and the best back masage of your existence :(

Rudy was unlike any men you ever met, he was just, him.

He treated you like the most precious gem.

He loved you deerly.

In fact, he wished for nothing more than holding you in nights like these, where you bury your head in his neck and he tells you fairytale in Spanish till you fall asleep.

He adored you

this could be me but instead i have an exam and dump finals to take care of. help

[eywathemother]

Fish Lips Chapter 9

Ship: Aonung x Kiri's twin sister!Reader

Warnings: Language, bullying, gore, fighting, talk of war, injury and blood, slow burn, enemies to lovers (not really a warning just some people don't like that trope), death of (a) character(s), not proofread, mentions of reader being depressed

Words: 1,901 (kinda short sorry)

Keys: (y/n) = your name,,(y/i/n) = your Ikran's name,, Neural Queue= the braid extension of a Navi's nervous system that allows them to link up to animals and Eywa,, (y/n/n) = your nickname),, Bold is English,, Italic is sign language,,Bold italics is when you're communicating with Kiri,,

Chapters; Introduction || Part 1 || Part 2 || Part 3 || Part 4 || Part 5 || Part 6 || Part 7 || Part 8 || Part 9 || Part 10 ||

My taglist is wack ass hell so I won't be doing taglist requests anymore. It takes me about half an hour to update the taglist as well, so it's more time consuming then I originally thought.

Spoilers for Avatar: The Way of Water A whole ass lot.

Special dt: @k1rislov3r

This is mainly a filler chapter so apologies if it's a bit dry, I'm trying to go into as much detail with the reader and her life so that the plot makes more sense. Also, I FINALLY CAUGHT UP TO MY CLASSES SO I CAN FOLLOW MY POSTING SCHEDULE, YAYYYY!!!! Thank you guys for your patience, I really appreciate it.

I did delete the original chapter for this so the sneak peek I posted was for the old chapter, this is the final cut for the chapter so it's completely different than what I posted. The reason why It took so long for me to post today was because I was editing mama Neytiri *smirking intensely*. Also, my brain is still fried, and I start more classes tomorrow so....I'm crying internally.

You hadn't gone to sleep until an hour before sunrise, so you were exhausted to say the least. Jake was okay with you sleeping in some more for rest, but Neytiri countered, you needed to do your chores and you had said the night before you would watch Tuk. Kiri was going to assist Ronal and Neytiri in Tsahik-training and the brothers were joining a hunt with Aonung and Rotxo earlier in the morning.

Neytiri was upset with your reckless decision to stay up so late but she had promised Kiri would be done by lunch so you could take a nap. You had been struggling with nightmares, you had no idea what they meant, and you refused to talk about them. Even Kiri was clueless to your nightmares.

Kiri didn't think you'd hide anything from her, as you both promised to always share everything, and it was very difficult to hide anything from each other. You held your end of the promise... somewhat, you didn't want to worry her or anyone, so you hid it.

You couldn't even turn to Eywa for help, as you couldn't even properly connect to the tree. Mo'at thought it was a sign from Eywa for some greater purpose for you in life, but Norm thought it was something to do with the malfunctioning of your Neural Queue. He explained that the Avatar's body is not as fully functioning as a Na'vi body at times, and you could've unluckily gotten some sort of mutant gene from the human DNA that didn't allow your Neural Queue to work the same as others. It was odd though, you had no issue connecting to animals, just connecting to any trees related to Eywa.

You had tried before, the farthest you had gotten to connecting to Eywa was a white room of sorts. Nothing but you, the brightness of the white around you, and the echos of your voice begging for someone to respond.

That was the day the nightmares had begun, depicting war and violence, filling you with nothing but anger and hatred towards the sky people. On occasions even towards Jake, who you had lashed out at saying to him he was nothing but ' a disgusting alien bringing violence and war wherever he went.' Of course, you apologized and got heavily grounded afterwards, but Neytiri was beginning to worry that the lack of connection you had with Eywa was starting to affect you.

You tried not to let it affect you too much, you tried not to stress over things way beyond your control.

As of now you had your head rested in your hands, sitting crisscross with your elbow resting on your knee. Tuk was playing in the water, looking at surrounding coral and observing the fish.

You tail wagged a bit, moving lazily over the rock you were sitting on. You hear footsteps next to you, several people calling out your name.

" (y/n)!!" Lo'ak was the first to make his way to you, Tuk turning to him with." Hi Lo'ak!" She smiled before a yellow-ish green fish caught her attention; she immediately went back to observing the waters.

" Where's Neteyam?" You asked, your ears perked up at his presence, watching as he plopped himself next to you. He pointed towards the beach." He, Rotxo, and Aonung were right behind me, I don't know where they went though. Don't really care either." He shrugged, placing his feet in the water.

"Oh." You yawned, you were trying your best to stay awake but you knew you'd pass out soon." Hey, do you mind watching Tuk for a little bit?" You asked Lo'ak and he gave you a side eye. He wasn't happy about it but he knew something was bothering you and keeping you up so of course he wasn't going to be apathic towards you and keep you from sleep.

" Yeah sure, be here before dinner though. Mom will be upset if you're not back by then." You nodded and stood up, stretching your body from being in the same position for almost half an hour.

Normally your napping routine included flying (y/i/n) to a random and secluded area and napping together until it was time to head back. That or you let her fly freely through the air as you napped on her back.

This time you wanted to be alone, you currently didn't want to be around anyone or anything. You just wanted to lie down someplace and just sleep. Hopefully dreamless.

You made your way into the woods, not bothering to really watch where you're going, just trying to stay on your feet. You wanted to lay yourself on the ground floor of Pandora and just listen to the heartbeat that echoed from within the empty-feeling heart of Eywa. Your true mother, you may not be able to connect to her with your braid, but you didn't need to.

You could hear her silent comforting words within the wind, whispering in your ear words of encouragement that had never left your parents lips. Your feet carried you across the Earthy flooring of the walkway towards the denser part of the forest. The mother trees, the children, all of their silent voices being carried by the cool breeze.

The sound of the ocean's waves hitting the beach slowly vanished as your ears focused on listening to the birds and rustling of the trees. The longer you listened the more you tried to think of it as the Jungle's trees rustling or the animals singing.

You missed your home, and you will miss it as long as you remained on this planet. You were slowly falling into a depression, missing your home, your people... your family. It wasn't the type of sadness to make you cry, but the sadness that put a hole in your chest and made you feel empty. The Jungle was a part of you, and you missed it terribly.

You laid down on a patch of grass, running your hand over the blades of grass. Feeling the edges of the plant tickle your palm and the tips of your fingers. A comforting warmth drifted over you, the wind dying down as you closed your eyes and listened to the breath of the planet. You slowly began to drift, finally being able to rest.

Red. Orange. Yellow. Fire.

Surrounding you, ingulfing you but it didn't burn. It was like the rage of the flames understood you and you understood it. War almost feeling natural and like your second nature. You felt nothing as you cut through the humans like their life meant nothing to you.

It didn't, you could care less about these murderous and destructive aliens from afar. You wanted them dead, you wanted all of them to disappear. You weren't just angry, or rageful, you were vengeful. You were going to give them what they had given you, you were going to make them feel how you felt as you watched your friends and loved ones die for a fight that would never have happened if it weren't for them.

If it weren't for Jake Sully, HE started this, HE is the reason you are all on the run. Why didn't he just kill them all, why did he let them go back home in one piece. You would've shredded them until they weren't even recognizable, showed them to Eywa, your beloved mother that you would protect her at all costs.

These weren't your thoughts; you would never think this way of your father. What was this dream, who was this unrecognizable being?

You jolted awake, beads of sweat running down your face and tears sprung to your eyes. You hated these feelings, they were so foreign like they weren't even yours, but in a way comforting. You wanted to deny them but, on some level, you knew that you agreed with them.

You stood up and headed your way to a small stream nearby. You splashed water onto your face, wiping the tears from your eyes and staring at your reflection in the water.

You stood up, looking around realizing how late it was. It was way past Eclipse. You ran hand through your hair and drew a breath preparing to be grounded again. This was what? Your third or fourth time breaking a rule or causing trouble. Honestly you didn't care, at this point it'll happen at least every week.

You heard footsteps approaching you and you spun around on your feet in alert. Aonung appeared, he blinked a bit in surprise and then grinned." You have some awesome hearing, I thought I was being sneaky."

You rolled your eyes." You stomp, there's no way you could survive in the woods with those." You pointed at his feet, and he grumbled under his breath." My feet are not that big." He protested, placing a hand on his hip, his ears back in annoyance.

A small silence broke out, and you tried your best to keep your normal aggravating smirk placed on your lips. Aonung could see past it though, he paid enough attention to tell that you were not doing so well. He didn't watch you or anything, he was just very aware and constantly read people. Maybe at times he would watch you with someone and pick up on your mannerisms more than he would with anyone else, but so what you were his friend.

Well...friends a stretch still.

" What's wrong?" He asked, he might not be the best at comforting, but he was willing to try. You brushed him off." Your presence always seems to dampen my mood, have you not noticed?" You teased but he didn't return your teasing.

" I'm serious, whatever's bothering you, you can tell me." Aonung placed himself in front of you and placed a kind hand on your shoulder. Your shoulders tensed and your jaw tightened, the smirk falling off your face for a split second.

" Now what's got you all tinder hearted your big teddy bear!" You pinched the side of his ribs lightly and he instinctively pulled away." What? What is a t-eddy barer??" You slapped a hand over your mouth giggling at his terrible English." Did you just insult me? It is one of those human insults, isn't it?"

Your worries and bad dreams disappeared instantly, Aonung unintentionally brightened your day-or rather night. Speaking of night, you needed to hurry and get back to your families Marui. You looked towards the path that led you back to the beach.

" Don't worry, it's not as late as it seems, just after dinner. Lo'ak and I covered for you so you're fine." He gave you his charming smile, the calmest you've ever seen him be. You grinned, wrapping an arm around his shoulders and dragging him closer to you." You know...I kinda like you a bit now."

" Just a bit?" He teased and he placed a hand on your other shoulder. You put your other hand up and put your pointer finger and thumb almost touching." Just a smidge."

" So does that mean I've finally won you over?" He asked, his tone was light and teasing but he was asking an actual question he's been dying to bring up." Won me over? Hell no!" You shook your head." I'm not gonna be friends with you that easily, you have to do something biiiig." You exaggerated and he rolled his eyes, he should've known he wasn't going to get a real answer out of you.

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[originalcollectionartistry]

I always knew... SFW

Hey all!

I'm so sorry I haven't posted anything lately... things happened and I didn't have the energy to write.

Echo's sequel is coming, I just need to edit. I have a Tech fluff in the works and I promise I'll for Wrecker and Crosshair soon.

Anyway, here's a Hunter fic for you! I do have a smutty part 2 planned for this one, I just need the energy to write it.

CW: Angst, emotional torment, jealousy, idiots in love, protective Hunter, Hemlock trying to manipulate reader

Word count: 2673

___________________________________________________________

Once you had settled in Pabu, you thought the missions were over but no. You still went on missions for credits, or to help Phee retrieve some artifact. You didn’t mind, but it always felt like they were becoming more and more dangerous with less chance of all of you coming back alive. When you did all come back alive, it was a different opponent you silently fought on Pabu.

You didn’t know what it was about Shep’s sister-in-law that made your skin crawl. Only that she was a sweet talker and could manipulate very easily. Phee was always cordial with her, but Tech and Echo made their distrust very clear while being polite. What you didn’t like was how all over Hunter she was. Hunter never made it clear whether he was interested or not which made you on edge. The way she was flirting and touching him made you feel sick every time you saw it.

“You, okay?” Wrecker elbowed you, snapping you out of thought.

You looked around and saw everyone staring at you expectantly. Hunter’s face was set in an unreadable way, so you didn’t know if he was annoyed or concerned.

“Hm, yeah,” you smiled. “Just a bit tired. What did I miss?”

You were re-briefed on the newest mission and your role in it. You were to sneak with Tech and Echo to retrieve the information needed for Rex about Hemlock’s location on Tantiss while Hunter, Wrecker, Crosshair were to draw fire if it was needed, Phee was the getaway driver while Tech was occupied. While Echo plugged into the station, Tech would go on about decryption and you would scour for all relevant information as Echo transferred and moved files around, all while keeping the alarms off.

Hunter looked at you expectantly and you nodded. “Yes Hunter, I know what to do.”

“Alright. Let’s stock up and head out in 4 hours,” Hunter ordered.

You all dispersed to stock up on rations and equipment and as you left, you saw Meela saunter up to Hunter, practically laying herself on his chest. You heard her compliment his commandeering and how he was so strong for your team. You rolled your eyes as Hunter looked down at her and thanked her before taking her waist and moving her elsewhere. You gagged slightly before moving things onto the Marauder. Crosshair noticed and chuckled a little. Everyone knew of your crush on the sergeant but at your request (begging) the squad swore to not tell Hunter. Besides, it was best for him to figure it out on his own.

“You’re really not going to say anything?” the sniper snarked as he loaded his shooter above his bunk.

You glanced over from your spot, where you were loading rations into the compartments. You shook your head and kept quiet. You really didn’t want to have this conversation, especially with the chance Hunter might walk in at any time.

“Alright then. Keep your secrets sarad. He’ll find out eventually.”

Hunter joined you not long after. He made orders to move out earlier than expected. Wrecker shoved his equipment in the compartment before settling into his bunk, Echo and Tech finished upgrades on the ship and you closed your compartment to finish stocking once you were on the move.  

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“Gods sarad! Can’t you go faster?” Echo asked desperately. “They’ll be on us any second!”

“Two more seconds! I’ll find it!” You were frantically sorting through files while Tech decrypted everything. You made a sound of success and told Echo which one to grab.

The mission went wrong from the get-go. You weren’t counting on motion sensors or silent alarms. The Empire typically used overwhelming numbers and force to counter an opponent but this time it was a shock to you all when Crosshair commed almost instantly once you were inside that you needed to move fast as there were troops converging on your location. Hunter and Wrecker distracted some troops and drew their fire but there were still troops coming.

Echo disengaged from the station and Tech unplugged his datapad. You all drew your blasters and set out to rendezvous at the ship. You all ran frantically, exchanging blaster fire behind you.

You didn’t look where your foot landed and tripped, falling flat on your face. Echo and Tech paused, and you screamed at them to keep going. You’d be fine! The mission was more important. They hesitated but saw you get up before they were rushing off to the rendezvous point.

You got yourself up and shot the four troopers surrounding you. You ran to catch up, but a trooper was able to stun you from a blind spot. The last thing you saw was troopers surrounding you and picking you up before you blacked out.

This was not good. I’m sorry guys… I’m sorry Hunter.

______________________________________________________________

You had assumed you’d be transferred and thrown into a cell but as you walked around the room you’d been given, you wondered what Hemlock’s game was. You sat on the bed, hoping this wasn’t some sort of seduction tactic. Hemlock wasn’t your type. Your type was back on the Marauder, being flown back to Pabu to see his ill-defined girlfriend. Whether or not Hunter knew, you saw Meela draped over him in a supply closet before heading out and he had made no move to remove her. So, with a broken heart, you walked on, pretending to not see them.

“Still wondering if your clones will find you?” a voice resonated behind you.

You turned and found Hemlock standing in your entryway. He placed something on a shelf near the entranceway before approaching you, a smirk on his face.

You shrugged. “That depends entirely on if they got away or not. I told them the mission comes first and to not risk their lives for me. So, Royce Hemlock, if they escaped then they’ll probably return to our base. It’ll be a while before they notice I’m gone.” You hated saying it, but you felt it a little bit true. The batch had their own lives blooming, and you didn’t know if you were part of it.

“Hmm,” Hemlock mused. “It must be hard not knowing if you have a place with them. Not knowing if they value you to come for you.”

You raised a brow. Your boys cared for you as their own. You were a family. What in the Force was he talking about? They had to come back for you… right?

___________________________________________________________

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHE’S NOT HERE?” Hunter roared. “You three were supposed to be here before any of us!”

Phee looked concerned, she’d never seen the boys this angry or upset before. You were clearly more important to them than they led on. She knew you were their medic and an integral party of their little family but with the way Hunter was acting and the others reacting, it was clear they cared for you much more than she thought.

“We have to go back for her!” Omega begged. She nearly lost Crosshair to the Empire. She wasn’t about to lose you too.

Tech sighed, “She was right behind us. She told us to keep moving after she fell, and we heard her breathing heavily behind us. Besides, we have no idea where she is. For all we know she’s been moved and detained. It’ll be more prudent to regroup and plan. Maybe she’ll find a way to escape and alert us.”

Hunter stared into one of the monitors on the ship, staring at the picture you all took of each other after a successful mission. Your smiling face, adrenaline filled eyes, messy braids, and everything about you. Over his dead body he’d abandon you now.

“We’re going back for her.” He growled. “Now.”

Tech looked at the ships communication system and noticed it flashing. “That may not be necessary. It seems she’s found us,” he said, noticing the comm channel matched yours.

Accepting the comm, Hunter’s face set in a hard line, seeing Hemlock’s face.

______________________________________________________________

Smirking in the clone’s face, Hemlock set the communicator down in a position that showed you and him in the bedroom. He wanted to play a game and let these clones know just how disposable they were to you.

“So,” Hemlock started, muting Hunter’s end of the call. “You believe the clones don’t care for you? That’s not like them. Their sense of family and loyalty is remarkably well-known.”

You grimaced, wanting him to stop talking. You knew that about clones. Everyone knew that about clones. You fought alongside them for 2 years. You knew the loyalty clones felt to each other and their generals; before Order 66 of course. It was their genetic specimen, Jango Fett, that gave them their sense of loyalty. Mandalorians were notorious for their family strength. It was like they were genetically incapable of not taking children under their wing or forming a family. You’d heard stories of Jango only wanting an unaltered clone to raise as his son, and other Mandalorians taking foundlings and orphans and giving them a home.

“You don’t need to remind me. I know them well enough.”

Smirking, Hemlock swiped a lock of hair behind your ear. “Oh, but you said you didn’t know if they noticed you were gone. Do you not feel a part of their little family?”

Wrecker and Omega were such mischiefs that you rarely saw them unless they were hungry and eating. Echo was usually on his own or with Rex, Tech was with Phee and Hunter… gods knew if he was with Meela a lot of the time. You made a face and Hemlock noticed the flare of anger in your eyes.

Looking over, he saw Hunter and Omega screaming silently from the comm, begging you to see them. The game the doctor was playing was deliciously agonising for them and he was loving it.

“Perhaps it’s time you found a new family. I’m always looking for an assistant. Especially one familiar with medical practices.”

You side-eyed the doctor, sensing the flirtation and desire to have you change to his team. To join the Empire.

“No. I have no desire to leave them. I just… It’s hard being in love with someone who doesn’t love you back. Especially when they love someone else.”

Smiling wider, he set his trap. “Ah, unrequited love. I’m guessing a certain sergeant hasn’t noticed your affections. They’re clear as day to everyone around you, how has he not noticed?”

Hunter was hitting the durasteel beside him, screaming for you to look at him.

“NO! Of course, I noticed! I could always sense it!”

The batch watched helplessly as their medic was interrogated and teased and their sergeant cried helplessly that he cared. They never noticed how sad you were, loving the security they had on Pabu. Crosshair grimaced, looking silently to Wrecker and Echo, both of whom knew like he did of your affections towards Hunter. They just never guessed how torturous it was for you to keep it hidden. You wore your heart on your sleeve, hiding your feelings must've been draining.

“I always knew… I just didn’t want to risk losing you…” Hunter felt useless and powerless. He wanted to scoop you up and hold you tightly, promising that you’d never feel this way again. They failed you; Hunter failed you. They failed in making you know and assuring you of your place with them and their love for you.

You scowled. How dare this small man try and worm his way into your good graces through false sympathy. “I don’t know what your game is Hemlock. But regardless of my feelings, my sergeant is happy with his partner and the others are content. As long as he’s happy with Meela, I don’t care how I feel.”

Hunter’s head shot up. Meela? You thought he was with Meela? Meela was the one hitting on him! He never cared about Meela! He just didn’t want to hurt anyone so restrained himself from touching her, even if to remove her from his space. He couldn’t bear to even be near the woman with how thick she laid it on, regardless of his rejections. He had told Meela many times that he wasn’t interested and that his sights were set on someone else, but she wouldn’t let up. When she came onto him that day in the supply closet, he was sure if he pushed her away, he’d push her into the wall and cause injury.

“I mean, Meela is lithe and beautiful and smart and witty and quick.” You ran your hand through your hair, messing it and giving Hemlock a sense that you were losing control of yourself. “I mean, she’s the whole package! Who am I to that? Just some civilian that was assigned to them. They didn’t even need me!”

How could you say that? Of course, they needed you! You made the team better! They would probably be all dead if not for you! Hunter’s fists were tightening until he could feel himself leaving indents under his body glove.

“Tech is the smartest man alive! He was perfectly capable of acting medic without me!” Tears bloomed in your eyes, hating how easy this man was pulling these fears out of you… supposedly.

Hemlock smiled in Hunter’s direction, loving the look of helplessness in the clone’s eyes.

“Sounds like they took advantage of you and your talents.” He wiped a tear from your cheek. “A lovely young woman such as you? Anyone would be lucky to have the honor of your affections.”

Sighing, you allowed yourself to decompress. “No… they never did that. It was wartime. I was never a priority. Love was never a priority, not even for me.”

Hemlock was getting frustrated with you. Every time you would walk into his trap, you’d slide yourself out of it. Which was the game you were playing.

You clued into what his intentions were pretty quickly. The good doctor wanted to make you insecure and question your place with Clone Force 99 so you would join him and gain a sense of security. It was very amusing to you, to see him start to flounder. He kept trying to set you up to become sad and turn against your family and it was so funny to you. As insecure as you were about your place with the batch, they were loyal to you and you to them.

Eventually you saw the communicator by the door and saw Hunter near tears and you realized he heard everything you’d said. You smiled and subtly nodded to him, letting him know you were okay. Your family was coming for you, and you’d wait for them forever.

“Well,” Hemlock stood, smoothing his robes out. “I’ll leave you to your thoughts. We shall see if your clones come rescue their medic.” He “calmly” stormed out, gripping his gloved hand in anger. As much as he wanted to hurt you, you were more valuable alive and well and could bargin.

“Tech, you get those coordinates?” Hunter asked frantically. He wasn’t going to make you wait anymore then you had to.

Nodding, Tech quickly punched them into the navigation system and set off to your location.

Hunter had a new mission now. His mission was to bring you home, tell you his feelings and love you for the rest of his life. He had been yours for years now; since the Clone Wars started and since you were assigned as their medic. Your loving nature, wit, intelligence, charisma, and so much of you and who you were made Hunter weak in the knees. As your commanding officer, Hunter had to maintain a distance and so while he made it clear he cared for you as a part of the squad, he made sure to swallow his feelings, so he didn’t compromise you.

Settling in his seat, he swore that would change. He would ask to make you his and love you for as long as time allowed him.

I’m coming cyare. I’ll find you soon.

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I hope you all like it! I took some inspiration from @arctrooper69 series "As iron sharpens iron" which is awesome and y'all should read it! (I hope thats okay!)

Anyway, like I said above, I do have a smutty part 2 planned but life has overwhelmed me so it might be a hot minute for that!

Enjoy!!

[hoodharlow]

No One Else

AN: I'm so sorry I haven't posted this. I was struggling with the beginning and cut a bunch of stuff bc I wasn't vibing. Anyways we get to see Jack work on No Enhancers 🤞🏻 and tyyy to @nattinatalia for the Oscar Isaac edit <3

Requested? 2 of my lovely anons sent in concepts that fit the chapter <3

Warnings: almost smut, brief tension/angst and mentions of vomit

Word Count: 3.8k words

Miriam hugged her Max Mara teddy coat tighter. She was outside in the private landing strip waiting for the jet to open. Jack and his team were in Berlin for one of his shows last night and they flew back to London earlier today because Jack is one of the honorees for GQ's Man of the Year awards. The ceremony was being held later in the evening. Miriam was in London because she was presenting her co-star, Oscar Isaac, at the GQ awards as he's also an honoree. 

In addition to that, Miriam was also in London for work. The show she was filming with her mom and Aaron Taylor-Johnson was going to have time jumps throughout the season, but they filmed everything from the past first in Atlanta then the 'present'. The present was taking place in London so that's why she was there with AaronTaylor-Johnson. Her mom's character was only needed for the 'past' scenes. The present is actually the ongoing investigation of her character's random death and the past were what led up to her mysteriously passing.

The private jet finally opened and Jack and his team came trailing behind. Miriam smiled seeing Jack thud down the steps, dick first, but her smile curved down when he walked past her. He turned around and scratched his head as he walked towards her.

"Oh shit I almost didn't recognize you with your new hair." He joked. 

"You're not funny." Miriam deadpanned. 

Her hair used to reach the middle of her back but she cut it for work and now it's up to her shoulders, but when she straightened it reached her shoulder blades. She was supposed to wear a wig to indicate the time jumps in the show, but the hair stylist couldn't get it to fit without making it obvious she was wearing a wig. So Miriam suggested that they just cut her actual hair to the length they wanted. Either way she was due for a trim because her ends were a mess. Now she rocked curls in a lob. 

"I'm just playing." He said, leaning down to kiss her, but she curved him. 

"What's your girlfriend gonna think?" She joked. 

"I don't know, what do you think?" Jack retorted. 

Miriam rolled her eyes in response. 

Jack laughed and pulled her into a deep kiss. He slipped his hands inside her coat and slid them down to her ass. He backed Miriam into the SUV. Jack wedged one of his legs in between hers and let her slowly rub herself against his gray sweats. Miriam stood on her tippy toes, pulling him closer. They slowly devoured each other, bodies melting into each other.

Urban cleared his throat dramatically, “You nasties saw each other a week ago fucking chill.” 

“I swear I heard the pornhub theme song the second y’all started dry humping each other.” Ace piped up behind them.

“You wish we were on pornhub.” Jack said, hugging Miriam from behind. 

“Whenever you guys are ready we can get back to the house.” Miriam said. 

“Yeah, me and Urb are staying at the hotel with the rest.” Ace said.

Urban nodded. “We would like to actually sleep and not hear you two go at all night.” 

“We’re not gonna go all night, just all afternoon.” Jack smirked. 

“I can’t stand you.” Miriam rolled her eyes then got in the car. 

Jack jogged to the sprinter van to let his managers know he and Miriam were leaving. They told him that they were getting picked up at seven. He got in the back seat of Miriam’s car and then Beto drove them back to her family’s house. 

They arrived half an hour later. Miriam led him inside the house. In the living room were the twins watching tv. 

“Shit let me get my noise canceling headphones.” Joseph joked, seeing Jack and Miriam walk passed them. “I want to sleep tonight.” 

“It was one time–” Miriam began but she was cut off by her older sister.

“No because these two snuck off to fuck and they were found in a broom closet because of Miriam’s loud ass moans.” she told her twin. 

Miriam rolled her eyes as her siblings imitated her and her sex sounds. She grabbed Jack’s wrist and tugged him upstairs. Her siblings always found ways to embarrass her in front of Jack. He found it endearing that her siblings liked him enough to include him in their banter and teases. 

“I’m gonna hop in the shower.” he said once they reached her room. 

Miriam nodded as she took off her coat and hung it on its hanger. She felt Jack’s eyes on her ass. She overslept and rushed to get ready to pick him up, so she threw on the first pair of leggings she found. What she realized later was that they were a pair of worn out leggings that looked like panty hose around her ass with how thin they got in that area. Thus revealing the bright pink thong she wore under.  

“Don’t start.” She warned him. 

“I haven’t said anything.” Jack said defensively. 

“But I know you.” Miriam eyed him. 

Jack didn’t respond. He went into her bathroom and showered. Fifteen minutes later, he came out with a towel wrapped loosely around his hips. Miriam laid in her bed reading a book with her knees bent in only a t-shirt, giving Jack a peek of her thong. He put on some navy blue boxer-briefs. After he did his after shower routine, he climbed on top of Miriam and laid on her chest. He sighed contently and nuzzled his face into her breasts. 

Miriam bookmarked her book and set it aside. She brought her hand down and gently scratched Jack’s scalp. 

“Are you hungry?” She asked him. 

“Not right now. I wanna catch a quick nap.” He mumbled.  

“Okay.” She nodded. 

Miriam kept playing with his hair, eventually making her way down to his shoulders. She rubbed her thumbs into his shoulder blades, earning a moan from Jack. He was tense as fuck. 

“Get off.” she told him. 

“Why?” Jack frowned.

“You’re stiff as fuck.” 

“My dick isn’t even on you, how did you know?” He smirked.

 “No, bro, seriously, I can feel that you're tense. Are you good?” Miriam asked him softly. 

“I’m good.” He insisted, trying to shrug it off.

“Jack…” 

“Miriam…” 

When he started his tour, Jack had been working on his new album to pass the time. Ever since he performed at the Today Show he confessed to Miriam that he had been feeling overwhelmed and overworked, but at the same time it felt like he wasn't doing enough for him and how he had to keep pushing himself to keep the momentum going.

“Let's talk about it later, yeah?”

Miriam nodded, not wanting to pressure him. She got out from under him and grabbed a lotion. Taking advantage that Jack was still laying on his back, she straddled his ass. Miriam pumped a generous amount into her hand and smacked it down on Jack’s back. She rubbed all over his back then she applied more pressure onto him. She worked her fingers into his shoulder blades, making him groan. 

"Fuck, Miriam," he whined, "You're so good to me." 

"Can you lay on your back porfis?" She asked him.

"Yeah," he nodded.

She got off him allowing him to roll on his back. Jack patted her thigh and Miriam straddled him once more. She put some more lotion on her hand and rubbed his on his chest. 

Jack smiled to himself watching Miriam be so focused and diligent. She took her time massaging him. Once she was done with his body she moved up to his neck and face. 

"You're my favorite view." He said as he was eye level to her breasts. 

"You're annoying." She shook her head, smiling. 

"I was expecting a more sarcastic response." He 

"I wasn't in the mood to banter." She shrugged. 

"But you love my banter." Jack frowned playfully. 

"Who said that?" Miriam giggled. 

She looked down at his lips then back his blue eyes. She was about to pull back but Jack held her in place by her neck and claimed her lips. It was a slow kiss. She had one hand on his chest balancing herself as Jack moved his hand to cradle her face. His other hand tightly gripped her thigh. He moaned into her mouth, feeling her slowly rutted her hips against the very tall tent in his boxers. 

Miriam pulled away and sat, removing her baggy t-shirt. She cupped his cheeks and pulled him into a needy kiss. Jack pushed her down on the bed and continued kissing as Jack skillfully managed to pull her panties and pulled down his boxer-briefs, just enough to get his cock out. 

They were interrupted by a loud shriek and her bedroom door slamming shut.

"Miriam, if you're gonna fuck have the decency to close the fucking door." Joseph yelled through the door. 

*

"Hola Vogue, soy Miriam Dominguez and today I'm going to show y'all how I do a simple red carpet glam for tonight's GQ event." Miriam said into the tripod she set up in her large bathroom. 

She was filming a Vogue Beauty Secrets video. Originally she was going to do a video of her nighttime routine for when she got home after a long day of filming. But she procrastinated and now she was filming a grwm video. She was going to straighten her hair as well but the nap she and Jack took was longer than expected. 

Miriam caught herself in the bathroom's reflection. Her neck and some of her cleavage were marked up. 

She looked at the camera like she was in the office and said, "But first we're going to do a quick lesson on how to cover your hickies because my partner is part octopus." 

She pulled out her cream color kit. Miriam explained color theory and how complementary colors work in order to mute each other so foundation could cover what needed to be covered. 

"See, like nothing." She showed the camera. She was about to put it away but then she remembered that Jack’s neck looked like hers. 

Almost like he sensed she needed him, Jack walked in the bathroom with a matcha for her. He was wrapped up in a fluffy robe and had some gel patches under his eyes. When they woke up from their nap, Miriam noticed he had some dark circles from not properly resting. So she put some hydrating gel under eye patches on him so they could make him look more awake. She also put on a pimple patch on his forehead. 

"Sit," she motioned at the bidet. 

"I was joking when I said we should film a sex–" 

Miriam clamped her hand over his mouth. "I'm filming for Vogue." 

"Oh," he said softly. 

"Let me cover your hickies, so your manager doesn't beat my ass." She said. 

"I've seen you kickbox, you can take Neelam." He joked.  

Miriam rolled her eyes and got to work. She did the same technique she did on herself, but the only difference was that Jack's hickies were more pronounced because he had lighter skin than her. She also made a foundation base to go on top of his covered hickies that matched his skin tone. 

"All done." She said rinsing the pallette where she mixed her colors. 

Jack got up and inspected himself. He had no idea how Miriam managed to do that. His neck and collarbones were all one even shade. He wasn't even sure where Miriam marked him up. 

"You're fucking talented." He said, sitting back down on the Bidet. 

Miriam smiled and went on doing her makeup. She did a set by set process on how she prepared her face with sunscreen, toner, moisturizer and primer. Jack leaned against the sink and watched her in awe as she talked to the camera. He had no idea what she meant but he couldn’t stop staring. Miriam sighed, reaching for a clean makeup wipe. It was her fourth attempt at doing a cute eyeliner design. She wasn't good at eyeshadow so she mainly stuck to one color then did a fun design with eyeliner. 

"Am I distracting you?" Jack asked. 

"A little." She said, quietly. 

"I'll leave you to it then." He said. 

"No, it's fine." She waved him off. 

"I know you, bro. I gotta work on some stuff anyway." 

He got up and squeezed her hips as he passed through. 

Miriam smiled to herself then dabbed some more of the soft orchid liquid eyeshadow on her pallette and dipped her thin eyeliner brush over it. She went on talking about Halsey's brand, About Face, has some of her favorite colors to work with for eyeliner looks. She also talked about her look for the night. 

It was a vintage long black dress from Gianni Versace’s Fall-Winter 1994. It had the iconic gold-tone Medusa buttons going down the length of her dress. The back was held together with a long strip that went down the middle of her back kinda like overalls. Since the gold buttons were a lot Miriam was keeping her accessories to a minimum. Once she finished her makeup she thanked Vogue and went to her room so she could upload her video to the Vogue team so they could edit and post it in afew days. 

She found Jack sitting on her bay window with his MacBook and a notebook on his lap. She liked watching him in the zone. She just hoped that he wasn't pushing himself too much. She knew that he wanted to work on something new that felt more personal to him. She read a few lines that he showed her when she visited him on tour back in October and as a fan she was excited to see where he took his music this time around. 

"I can feel you starin'." Jack said, putting his things off to the side. 

"Damn, I can't admire my man." She said in a playful tone. 

"Knowing you, no." He said sarcastically. 

Miriam sat on his lap and ran her nail along the designs of his robe. It was them when noticed that she got them done. They were long and nude pink. 

"What are these called?" He said intertwining their fingers together. 

"Acrylic nails." She replied. 

"No smartass, the shape." 

"Oh," she giggled. "These are coffin shaped. Why do you ask?"

"Just wonderin'," he shrugged, looking down at his notebook.

•••

Miriam via Instagram Stories

•••

"Work husband?!" Jack confronted Miriam when she walked in the studio. 

Jack, Urban, Ace, and Nickie were at a friend's studio while Jack recorded some of his songs. Miriam had the day off from filming but she spent the day self taping for an audition. She finished that and went to Nandos to bring them food.

"Huh?" Miriam looked at Nickie, Ace, and Urban confused. 

"Bro, they're eating me up on Twitter." He said, passing her his phone. 

'Dating a bad bitch like Miriam Dominguez is not for the weak. Idk how Jack Harlow is dealing with this.' 'What if Miriam calling Oscar Isaac her work husband was Jack Harlow's 13th reason?' 'Jack Harlow and Oscar Isaac's wife are braver than any US Marine.' She read the tweets to herself. Evidently annoyed, she passed him back the phone. "I'll delete it damn. It was just a joke." 

"Bro I'm just kidding, why are you getting so worked up?" Jack asked in an irritated tone. 

"And that's our cue." Urban mumbled as he walked out of the room with Ace and Nickie trailed behind him, taking the food she brought them. 

"What's up? Like everything was good and then you brought down the vibes." Jack told Miriam. 

"Oh so my presence bothers you. Got it." She said, turning on her heel. 

"Miriam, that's not what I meant." He sighed. "Obviously something is up, and you're taking it out on me." 

"I'm fucking done." She said with her voice cracking at the end. Tears rolled down her cheeks. "I'm so tired. I'm so fucking overwhelmed and…and…"

She didn't finish her sentence. She ran to the nearest trash can and threw up everything she had for breakfast which wasn't much to begin with. One of the tell-tale signs that Miriam was going to have a panic attack was that she threw up. Jack had seen her have her fair share and knew the drill. He knelt behind her and gathered her curls into an oddly shaped bun. He helped her out of her coat and rubbed her back whilst she vomited once more. 

"Let's go outside and get you some air." Jack said softly after a few minutes. 

Miriam nodded and stood up with his help. Jack draped her coat over her shoulders and took the trash bag out of the trash can. They made their way out to the parking lot. He sat her down on the curb while he went to throw away the bag in a large trash can. The guys were in the sprinter van eating so he went over to get some water, hand sanitizer, gum, and wet wipes for Miriam. 

"Here." He said, sitting next to her. 

Miriam took a generous sip of the water, swishing it in her mouth before spitting it out. She cleaned her mouth and hands then popped the gum in her mouth. 

"I'm sorry for blowing up in your face like that." She said quietly, resting her head on knee. 

"Can I ask what made you upset?" He asked, gently pulling her curls out of the bun he did. 

"I got my schedule for Poison Ivy. We start rehearsals on the 28th." She sighed. "I thought I was going to have a few weeks off to rest. But I don't even get a week off. We're scheduled to finish filming the show on the 23rd. I won't be able to fly home." She said before tearing up once more. 

"C'mere," Jack said, pulling her to his chest. 

"I'm so exhausted." She sighed defeatedly. "The show is draining. We're doing fifteen episodes and each one is somewhere between forty minutes to an hour long which is rare for a show on a streaming service."

"I'm sorry." 

"Jack, you have nothing to apologize for." 

"I know but part of me feels like I should." He said, making her snort. 

Miriam nuzzled against his chest. That was when she noticed he was only wearing a long sleeve. 

"Bro, why are you only wearing a long sleeve?! Let's get inside before you get sick and your manager beats my ass." She quickly got up and pulled Jack upright. 

"I'll be fine." 

"Inside now." She said sternly.

"Inside you? Out here? In the parking lot? Damn, you're a freak, Miriam." He smirked. 

"You're so unserious." She rolled her eyes. 

They went back inside. Surprisingly Miriam had an appetite and ate her food. While the guys went over the beat of a song where Jack talked about himself through different ages of his music career, she pulled out her sketchpad and worked on her designs. It was her design for the upcoming Met Gala. They announced the theme a few weeks ago at Paris Fashion week so she was getting a head start because she was making her own outfit. 

If Miriam were being honest, she didn't like the theme. Sure Karl Lagerfeld was iconic, but he'd done her mom and sister dirty. In the 90s he didn't believe that Isabela was the right look for Chanel. Then when Katalina started modeling he would take her out of runway shows at the last minute because she wasn't fitting the vibes for the show and then would get replaced with a white model. There were also some comments he made about women and diversity in fashion that just gave Miriam a bad taste in her mouth. It was also why she didn't own that many Chanel pieces. She didn't feel comfortable spending her money on someone who had those ideals. In addition to him, she stopped supporting brands like: Dior, Dolce and Gabbana, Carolina Herrera and Alexander Wang. 

She was invited to the Met Gala but she was planning on walking the red carpet. Though she was positive that what she had planned to wear would get her banned from future Met Galas by Anna Wintour, that wasn't going to stop her from doing what she was going to do. 

"Are you busy?" Jack asked, walking up to her. 

"No, what's up?" Miriam asked, closing her sketchpad. 

"Wanna do some backup vocals for me?" 

"You have to contact my manager for payment methods." 

"I got a few options but I don't think your mom would want to know what they are." He smirked. 

"Okay, jokes aside, my mom does need a contract or whatever y'all have to have on file." She said. 

"I'll have Chris send it to her." He reassured her. 

"Okay, what do you need me to do?"

Jack pulled her to the soundboard. Miriam sat on one of the spinning chairs and listened attentively to Jack as he explained he wanted her to do a short freestyle at the end for the outro of the song. Truthfully, she was nervous. She's never done something like that. Sure she's quick with her comebacks, but this was different and she didn't want to disappoint Jack.

"Okay we're gonna play the song a few times so you can get a feel for it and when you're ready just go for it." Nickie told Miriam. 

"Okay," she nodded, giving him a toothless smile. 

Miriam made her way to the soundbooth. She removed her blue sweater vest and tossed it at Jack. She pulled her hair into a ponytail and put on the headset. She kicked her feet on the stool, waiting for the song to play. Within the first seconds, she knew it was the instrumental of the song he wrote for her over a year and a half ago. The lyrics were different from the original. She figured since he used part of the original lyrics in Lil Secret. 

She smiled to herself when Jack rapper 'and my baby she a natural.' It had more than one meaning. Of course the obvious was that Miriam has a natural body and she hadn't got any cosmetic surgery done. But the second meaning was something he would sometimes tell her when he'd catch her belting out ballads and be impressed at how effortlessly she would sing. 

At the mention of her nails, she looked down at hers. They were exactly like the ones he described in the song. They were her go-to design when she wanted to get her nails done but didn't want to commit to a color or design. 

She listened to the song a few more times and eventually she said, "I can't believe you said 'You know I make you laugh like no one else' as if my job isn't acting and I know to fake laugh. Hell, I even fake org–"

"That's good." He cut her off, making her cackle loudly. 

•••

@'mdm: in my pop girl era

@'jackharlow: relax, you're just doing backup vocals for me

-> @'jackfan: backup vocals?!?!?! Are we getting a new album

->@'fanofjack: bffr, when would he have time to make it?

->@'anotherjackfan: they're probably just messing around, they're both busy working

@'urbanwyatt: "urb take pictures of me like I know what I'm doing"

-> @'mdm: shushhhh

@'mackshipper: omg they're gonna pull a Big Sean and Jhené Aiko and make a joint album

->@'hater: as if Jack and Miriam had their talent

@'haileesteinfeld: obsessed <3

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