#I would genuinely have panic attacks and leave every day

[ya-gurl-emily]

The awesome thing about college is that being there is miserable, and not being there is worse.

Nifty!

[confinesofmy]

fun fact: i sat backwards on the school bus with my feet braced on my seat, knees against my chin, and my back wedged up against the back of the seat in front of mine every school day for over a year

[pix3lplays]

I really love your hsr men fic when they accidentally get their s/o pregnant! I'd like to request the same but instead of telling them, how about s/o ran away from them after she knows she's pregnant because she thought they never want a child?

Hi! Thank you so so much it means a lot to hear you enjoyed something I worked on! And yes I can absolutely do this request! It’s so good oh my gosh!! Part two to this!

Cw! Pregnancy

-Honkai Star Rail men with a pregnant reader who ran away-

Welt Yang: is heartbroken to receive a letter from you simply saying that you must leave him. He wants an explanation. Wants to know what he did wrong, how he hurt you, Anything and Everything that he did to chase you away. Safe to say he searches for you. He sticks with the Astral Express crew, but suddenly he’s very hands-on with every mission. He wants to go to each new world, with your picture, asking about you, about what happened to you, but he can’t find ANYTHING. It’s like you’ve vanished from the universe. Dan Heng, March 7th and Himeko also pitch in, but there’s no sign of you. The others notice how distressed he is, but he does his best to remain calm and collected, for your sake. He doesn’t want to lose himself. He can’t afford to lose himself. Then he might never find you…

Sampo Koski: Receives the news from Natasha that as soon as you found out you were pregnant, you vanished from the clinic. She tells him the truth of course, it shouldn’t be hidden from the father, and he realizes right then and there why you’d run away. Oh he feels so bad. He didn’t mean to chase you away like that. You asked him about kids once and he made his stance clear that he hated kids, didn’t want anything to do with them. And that’s why you ran, isn’t it? You were scared of what he would do and say once he found out? He doesn’t stop looking for you, but his life has to go on. He mentions you to all his clients, he has a photo of you in his wallet, and eventually time passes and now he mentions that you might have a kid with you. As scared as he is to admit it, he can’t find you anywhere, and he just has to hope you’re safe. But he doesn’t give up that one day he’ll see you again…

Jing Yuan: is terrified to wake up and find you not in bed, nowhere in the house, or in the gardens. He immediately alerts Yanqing and assembles the Cloud Knights for a search and rescue. Oh he’s scared. You’d never just…disappear like that, right? Something happened to you! You must’ve been kidnapped or something awful like that. He doesn’t give up his search for you. He leads it personally, and the search goes on for weeks until he finally has to disassemble the cloud knights for other duties. Him and Yanqing don’t give up though. They even go door to door looking for you, not giving up hope that someday they’ll be reunited with you. Eventually he HAS to return to his duties as General, but he uses up all his free time to track your last known movements and continue his search for you, not willing to just let you go like that. Not ready to give up on you, and the belief that he can find you…

Gepard Landau: like Jing Yuan, he immediately assumes the worst when he can’t find you. You’ve been hurt, attacked, kidnapped or something! He gets permission, and then assembles the Silvermane guards to find you. He puts missing person posters up around the city and the underground (oh my gosh imagine if he drew them himself I’m crying) and he’s determined to find you, offering a promotion to whoever returns you to him. He so, so badly hopes you’re safe wherever you are. He even begs Wildfire for their help in finding you. And when you don’t turn up after the first day, he genuinely begins to panic. He doesn’t know where you could be. Or even why you disappeared, and the thought that something awful happened to you scares him the most…

Luocha: Luocha at first, stays calm and collected when he wakes up that morning and can’t find you anywhere. He just assumed you’ve decided to take a nice walk or something. But you don’t return to him. Now he’s afraid. He uses his merchant contacts to ask around about you, and nothing comes up. He begins to search on his own, trying to start logically, like places you were more likely to be or maybe you’ve been to. But nothing seems to work. He can’t find you anywhere. Now he’s panicked. Why would you just…leave him like that without a word? Were you safe? Were you alright? Right as he begins to really feel the panic sink in, he receives a text from you. “I’m sorry. But I’m safe. Please don’t look for me.” Well. That’s a relief. But he’s afraid he can’t promise he won’t look for you. He tries asking you where you are but you stop answering his texts, and he’s left all alone again, trying to piece together where you might be. He’s not just going to give up on you just like that. He wants to know what he’s done wrong, and he’s determined to find you in hopes that the two of you can work this out…

Let me know if anyone wants a version where they find you, or any other requests for that matter!

[jamie-leah]

Lifeline

Bucky x Reader Fic

Oneshot? Series? You tell me...

Summary: You have a past that you're running from and maybe Bucky can be the lifeline you had no idea you were searching for.

Word Count: 1,809

Warnings: Mentions of physical abusive, Abusive relationship, descriptions of panic attack, rusty writing, fluff

A/N: Thought I would dip my toe back in the water, see how you're all doing? Feel free to tell me if you want more and feel free to make requests. I need to get back into the swing of things!

Next Part--->

Masterlist of Masterlists

It’s been two months, and he still hasn’t found you yet. Despite the nightmares and the hypervigilance, you would call that a win. It’s the longest he’s gone without finding you. Maybe he’s given up? But deep down you know that isn’t the case. You humiliated him when you ran, left in the middle of the night without a word to anyone. There would be questions from the neighbours, friends and family. He would never let a slight like that go, and you know it.  

The bell dings above the door in the diner you’ve been working at since you arrived in New York. It brings you out of your head and into the present, to see Bucky walk through the door. You hadn’t realised that it was that time in your shift, looking over to the clock to confirm that it was in fact nine at night.  

You give him a smile. A small one, but the most genuine you’ve been able to manage since running from your ex almost a year ago now. He returns a full watt smile of his own. A smile you never see him give to anyone else, but you don’t look too deeply into that considering you’ve never seen him outside of this diner.  

He sits at the bar upfront to the counter where you already have his black coffee waiting, “you fancy any food? Kitchen is closing soon”, you ask.  

“I’ll take a plate of fries if there’s any going?”, his voice sending a tiny shiver down your spine that makes your toes curl ever so slightly. You are aware of this growing attraction you have to him since he started to come in here regularly a week after you started. And you hadn’t thought about anyone like that since...well since you started your relationship with Andrew around seven years ago.  

Bucky never said much the first few times he came in. He would just nurse a few cups of coffee at night and then leave but after two weeks like that he caught you on a particularly rough day. You were in the middle of a panic attack when he jumped into action and calmed you down and stared anyone down who might have looked or said anything.  

Since then, the damn broke and while you may have not told him about your ex, you both shared some personal titbits that would probably qualify you as friends rather than acquaintances. And ever since that time you told him you hadn’t had time for a break or a bite to eat, he orders fries and makes you share with him. He feigns that the portions are too big, and he needs your help to finish them off, but you know better. You don’t say otherwise, you’re grateful either way.  

When you place the fries in front of him, he asks, “busy tonight?”  

You shake your head as you pop a fry into your mouth, “not really. It’s always quiet on a Tuesday. How was your day? Save anyone today?”  

Bucky rolls his eyes at you. You had no idea who he was when he first came in. And Bucky still had to spell out who he was and why people stared at him in the diner. You were vaguely aware of superheroes, but Andrew kept you rather sheltered so you never knew who they were or the politics of them all.  

Bucky grabs the ketchup and squirts some on your side of the plate and some on his, “no missions today. You know I’m gone for a while when I am.”  

You sigh, because yes you do know he’s gone for a while when he has missions and its usually the longest days or sometimes weeks without him coming in every day.  

You shrug, “I don’t know, there was that time you saved someone from a car explosion on your way here.”  

You smirk as he groans at the mention of his heroics, “that was one time! I can’t believe that even showed on the news.”  

You throw a fry at his face, “I can’t believe I had to find out from the news! You didn’t say a word the entire time you sat here.”  

You laugh as you see a familiar blush creep up from his neck and blooms on his sharp cheeks, “I didn’t think it was a big deal”, he mumbles out.  

Someone walks in through the door, the familiar bell ringing. You walk from behind the counter as they take a seat at a booth. You squeeze Bucky’s shoulder as you pass by and murmur, “everything you do is a big deal to me.”  

You don’t wait for his reply or even a reaction as you head over to the couple talking quietly. You take their order and head over to the back and shout through to Kevin, “hey Kev, you got time for one more food order?”  

He pokes his head from the back, “sure thing”  

You pass him the slip and turn back to Bucky about to say something when a smash comes from the kitchen. You duck. No time to think, your body reacts on instinct, preparing for the worst while try to dodge the inevitable violence that is always directed at you.  

You stay crouched on the floor frozen in place, trapped in your mind at a time when you burned dinner for Andrew, and he threw places and cups all around the kitchen. Curled up on the floor, arms over your head trying to stop any shards from catching your face. You had to pick a few from your arms when he finally calmed down and left to go to the bar.  

Warm hands reach out to hold your face steady. You didn’t know your body was shaking until those hands held your face. So gentle in their touch you know they can’t be Andrew’s. You peek your eyes open and see beautiful, plump lips moving, forming shapes that should come out as words, but you don’t hear anything. Just rushing in your ears.  

It isn’t until your eyes glide up to the steel blue of Bucky’s that you let the air back into your lungs, the roaring subsiding until you hear his quiet murmurs, “you’re here, you’re safe with me. Come back to me.”  

Bucky feels you return to yourself more as your eyes dart around and your hands come to grip his tightly which are still holding your face. You manage a strangled, “I’m sorry” before your throat closes again.  

Bucky shakes his head, “nothing to apologise for.” 

When your whole body stops shaking, Bucky guides you back to a standing position. You glance over the counter, and no one is looking. They had no idea that your whole world suddenly came to a stop. No idea that you practically broke down over a broken plate in the kitchen.  

Bucky pulls your gaze back to his, “you with me?”  

You nod slowly, still not trusting your voice.  

Kevin puts the plates of food down on in the window without even looking before heading back to the kitchen. You reach out, your hands still shaking to take the plates but Bucky captures your hands with his. He links them for a few moments before placing them back at your sides. He takes the plates and heads over to the table you took the order from and delivers them with the fakest smile you’ve ever seen on his face.  

His false cheeriness is what starts to bring you back to yourself as you raise your eyebrows at his return, “why don’t you ever greet me like that?”  

He laughs, his head tipping back as he takes his seat again, “because you’re special.”  

“That’s what you say to all the girls”, you reply.  

And just like that the incident is gone. Not forgotten though, you don’t miss the way Bucky watches you more closely, the corners of his mouth set slightly lower now that he’s reminded of how broken you really are. He doesn’t ask, and you’re grateful for that. You’re not ready to talk about the monster that you try pretending doesn’t exist. But you never forget either.  

Bucky stays with you for the rest of your shift. He stands behind you like a bodyguard as you lock up the diner at one in the morning, just when the clubs really start getting busy. He makes a point to walk you all the way back to your apartment building and you don’t miss the frown he always gives it.  

You bump his arm with your shoulder, “it's not as bad as it looks, you know.” 

His face scrunches up, “if you say so. Still don’t like the thought of leaving you here though.”  

You bump into him again with a small smile, “careful Buck, some people might think you’ve gone soft.” 

You see his mouth twitch upwards as he replies, “only for some people.” 

You stare into the eyes that are staring back at you. You can feel them trying to tell you something, but you can’t quite understand. Or maybe you don’t want to because it doesn’t make sense. Someone like you doesn’t get to be happy, someone like you doesn’t get someone like him. You’ve never been that lucky.  

A horn blare down the street, as people whoop from the windows. It breaks the spell as you both turn to look with a small chuckle.  

“I better get inside, I’m beat.” You tell him as you point to your building.  

Bucky clears his throat, “Uh, yeah, definitely. I might be gone for a couple of days. A few things I need to take care of but I’m back on your day off...fancy hanging out?” 

The question almost trails off, but his stare remains intense. It dries up your throat as you open it and close it like a fish for a few moments.  

“It’s okay if you had plans, I just thought it might be nice to do something outside the diner and-”  

“I’d love to.”  

“And I was thinking we could- wait, really?” He looks to you as if he’s waiting for the punchline and it makes your heart ache.  

You give him a warm smile, “I’d love to do something. Despite being here for a few months, I haven’t seen much of New York so will be nice to get out with someone that knows it well.”  

His face splits in two to let out a huge smile, “Okay...okay, I’ll text you when I’m back?” 

You give him a nod and a shy smile, “yeah, sounds good. Goodnight Bucky.”  

His smile is so wide you don’t think he’ll be able to get any words out, so you turn and walk into your building, only glancing back once the elevator doors open to see him still stood there, smiling.  

[dialovers-lover-xoxo]

Subaru's relationship alphabet! Other diaboys linked at end!

Under a cut cuz it's long

--------------------------------------------

Alphabet Credit: @snk-warriors

A - Activities (What activities do you do as a couple with him?)

There aren't really activities you do with Subaru. You'd walk in the garden and throughout the mansion but Subaru would rather just take a walk and talk. You might be able to get him to do other things like at the vandead carnival and he'd probably end up enjoying it and even suggesting things but he'd never admit to it.

B - Beauty (What physical attribute do they admire about you?)

Your face. He often stares because he's so in awe at how beautiful you are. Your chest, not because of your breasts (though also that) but because it's where your heart is.

C - Comfort (How would they comfort you when you're upset or having a panic attack?)

Subaru panics and believes he's at fault

D - Dreams (Do they picture a future with you? If so, what does that future look like?)

Subaru can't imagine life without you and he lives in fear you'll one day think he's a monster and leave him for good. He's so scared of that and genuinely believes that that it prevents him from hoping for a future. As time goes on he'll see you in his future.

E - Equal (Are they dominating/dominant in the relationship or passive?)

He's pretty dominating, he likes being in charge, but he sees you as an equal. He's not like Reiji or Ruki where he demands things of you to keep you in line. In this regard Subaru is probably the most normal diaboy, he won't demand anything out of you the two of you just date and spend time together

F - Fight (Do they forgive easily? How do they fight?)

He yells and punches walls, but he never lays a hand on you. He forgives easily and more than that he hates himself for yelling and being an angry. He thinks he's a monster and he doesn't want to be one to you.

G - Gratitude (How grateful are they in general? How do they show their gratitude?)

He'll say thank you for normal things and every once in a while like when you're cuddling and you fell asleep he'll think about how much better his life is because of you and then the next day he'll be extra affectionate but when you ask him why he's being more sweet and affectionate than usual he'll blush and get super tsundere lol

H - Honesty (Do they share everything with you? If they do keep something from you, why?)

Subaru is terrified of losing you, and he's torn between doing everything in his power to keep you, even if it means lying, or doing the right thing and letting you know everything because you deserve to leave him. Ultimately he'll be honest and then surprised when you consistently choose him.

I - Inspiration (Did they get inspired to change by you? How so?)

He'll never stop being hot-headed, that's just his personality, and his trauma is so deeply engraved in him that it'd be unrealistic and way too idealistic for me to headcanon that one day he'll learn to love himself. But he will treat himself better and learn that his childhood was not his fault and he will learn to be nicer to himself

J - Jealousy (Do they get jealous easily? How do they act when they're jealous?)

He's jealous, but he's also scared. He can't stand the idea of losing you. Behind the anger in his face, is the fear in his eyes. After he's done screaming at the guy flirting with you he'll whirl around and his eyes are full of fear and trepidation

K - Kiss (Are they a good kisser? What are their kisses like? What was the first kiss like?)

Yes, very good kisser. Not into tongue, nice open mouth and tilting heads. He just kinda kissed you and said he felt like it and "whatever"

L - Love Confession (What was their love confession like?)

It was more you confessed your love to him and then he broke down in tears and said he loved you

M - Marriage (Do they want to get married? How would they propose?)

He doesn't necessarily need marriage, he knows the two of you will be together forever, but he would definitely want marriage if you wanted marriage. On his knee, in the garden

N - Nicknames (What do they call you as a term of endearment? Where did the nickname come from?)

He tried calling you sweetie once. It was awkward and then he turned red and locked himself in a room for 10 hours. His brothers still tease him. Nicknames are either "love" which comes naturally to him unlike sweetie did or some variant of your name or something based off your name

O - On cloud 9 (What are they like in love? Can other people tell?)

He stares at you with love and adoration but there's a hint of fear or sadness. His brothers can definitely tell. Surprisingly, they're supportive. Sure they'll tease him for being a tsundere or whatever, but the relationship itself they're surprisingly supportive

P - PDA (Are they shy or upfront about their relationship with you? Will they kiss in public?)

He's not shy in the slightest. As much of a tsundere as he is, he'll make out with you no problem. Holding hands? He's a red blushing mess

Q - Quirk (Something random about them that's beneficial in a relationship)

He's very cuddly and despite how hot-headed and impulsive he is, he's actually a really good listener. He always knows where to touch you to make you feel nice, like your hair or rubbing your wrist.

R - Romance (How romantic are they?What is their idea of romance like?)

Not exactly textbook romance. The two of you do what makes you guys happy, you don't let the definition of romance get in the way

S - Support (Do they help you reach your goals? Do they believe in you?)

Yes, but again, there's that fear; the fear of you leaving

T - Thrill (Do they like trying new things in a relationship? Or do they prefer routine?)

Not really. He's happy just being with you in the garden or his coffin.

U - Understanding (How well do they understand you?)

Very well. As said before, he's a good listener and he's surprisingly sympathetic

V - Value (How important is your relationship to them?)

More important than anything

W - Wild card (A random fluff headcanon)

He tends to stare at you when he doesn't think anyone's looking.

X - XOXO (Are they affectionate? Do they like to kiss and cuddle)

Yes, he gets shy a little but he loves kissing and cuddling

Y - Yearning (How will they cope when they miss you?)

You are the light in his life. Without you, he is numb and dark. Coping isn't really a thing any of the diaboys are great at.

Z - Zeal (Are they willing to go to great lengths for your relationship?)

Yes. Absolutely anything except hurting innocents. He won't give up on getting you, but he'll figure out a different way

--------------------------------------------

[shadesslut]

Hi

Could u do a Ethen Landry × fem reader

Where reader and Ethan have been dating for a few months, and like reader and him have a fight (about whatever that's ur choice) while they were studying at his house.

And in anger reader leaved the house and goes to her house and like he attacks her as Ghostface but it was like just to prank her, and she gets shit scared and gets an asthma attack and like doesn't have her inhaler with her and like she had to get more inhalers so he panic and like runs to a pharmacy and gets her an inhaler, but when he's back she's past out.

You can choose what happens next

Thank you <33

🤍🤍

Hope you like it:)

i love you

Pairing: Mean!Ethan Landry x Fem!Reader

Content Includes: Asthma attack, angst, fluff

Summary: Ethan decided to scare Y/N after a fight, it doesn’t end well.

Masterlist

✮

✮

✮

It had been two hours. Two fucking hours of Ethan studying. Y/N had been laying on his bed, randomly scrolling on her phone. She came over after her classes to work on an assignment for a class they shared, but after finishing, Ethan wanted to study for his Econ final the following day. Every thirty minutes, she would try to get him to spend time with her, rubbing at his shoulders and gently kissing his neck, and every time, he dismissed her.

“Ethan,” she whined, drawing out his name.

“What?” he mocked. His pen frantically moved across the paper as his head turned to his textbook and back to his notes.

She took a puff from her inhaler, which caused Ethan to turn around. His eyes looked tired, and his shoulders looked tense. Y/N knows how much Ethan hadn’t slept lately, the nights where she felt him slip out, presumably to work on school. What she didn’t know though, is that her perfect, shy boyfriend, was out killing.

“Can you take a break?” She asked as she sat up. He sighed and put pressure on his temples. “Do you need advil?”

He shook his head as he looked back up to her. He stood up and walked over to grab the water bottle on his night stand, taking a quick swig. “I think you need a break.” She suggested.

He groaned at her. “I need you to stop being so clingy.”

She was taken aback by his words, he had never snapped at her before.

“I’m..I’m not? I’m just worried about you.”

“Bullshit, you’ve been trying to get me to pay attention to you for the past hour.” Ethan argued as he sat back at his desk. His back was turned to her, but he could feel her gaze on him.

“Don’t be an asshole,” she muttered, getting up.

He let out a half tired half annoyed laugh. He rubbed his palms over his face. He genuinely wasn’t pissed with her; he had been stressed from his dad getting into his ass and his poor grades in classes. He did want to spend time with her, he was just…frustrated, in certain ways. He needed to let out his stress with some form of relief.

“I’m not being an asshole, I just have a shit ton of work.” Ethan grumbled.

She nodded and grabbed her purse. “Then I’ll just leave you to your work.” She spat before leaving, slamming the door.

—

On her way home, she clutched the strap of her purse. She felt her anxiety peaking, checking her phone for any messages.

Ethan kept behind her carefully, watching her intensely. He watched her turn a corner, and he checked around him to make sure they were alone. He slid his mask on and quickened his pace.

Y/N started looking through her purse for her inhaler, feeling each breath getting heavier and heavier.

“Shit.” She cursed once she realized she probably left it on Ethan’s bed.

Her eyes started to water from the overwhelming weight on her lungs.

She heard quick footsteps grow louder and louder behind her, and she pulled her pepper spray out. Ethan caught up to her, grabbing her by the shoulders and yelling “Boo!”

She screamed bloody murder and turned around, spraying towards him. He inhaled some of the spray, instantly coughing.

“What,” cough. “The.” cough. “Fuck?���

He took off his mask and coughed more. Y/N gradually fell to the ground and started to wheeze. She held her hand over her chest, gasping for air. Ethan looked at her after his coughing fit, and his eyes immediately widened. “Shit. Shit.”

He leaned down and went through her purse, desperately trying to find her inhaler. She gasped and wheezed as Ethan ransacked her purse. She felt tears spill from her eyes as she began to panic. Could this night go any worse?

“Fuck, there was a pharmacy near by. I’ll go, I’ll go get an inhaler.” He said quickly before getting up and running back around the corner. Her eyes followed him as his form disappeared, and her vision started to blur.

When Ethan came back, she was laid on the floor, eyes closed.

His eyes widened and he dropped down on his knees next to her. He shook her limp body and called out her name.

“No, no, fuck fuck no,” he cursed as he picked up her motionless body.

–

She woke up to a bright light shining in her eyes as she softly groaned. She moved her hand up to her eyes and gently rubbed them. She saw someone jerk their head up out of the corner of her eye, and she saw Ethan enter her peripheral vision.

“H-Hey! Are you okay? Do you need water?” He immediately asked, grabbing her hand.

She looked at him and blinked. “What happened?”

He gulped and looked down shamefully. “I- Uh,”

She thought for a moment, and she sighed as she remembered. He looked at her and knew she knew, and he waited anxiously for her response.

“I remember you scared me.” She said.

“Y-Yeah, I did. I’m so sorry. You started to panic, and I-I went to go get an inhaler for you, but I came back and you were-“ he stuttered, face heating up with embarrassment.

She grabbed his other hand and squeezed. “H-Hey it’s okay,” she said, softly smiling.

He shook his head at her. “It’s not, I was an asshole. I’m sorry, my dad has been such an ass, and I’ve been so stressed lately. It’s not an excuse, b-but I-“ he was cut off by her lips gently meeting his.

He sighed and relaxed his shoulders, kissing her back. She pulled away slightly and smiled.

“They said you were lucky I got you here when I did.”

“My hero,” she softly praised, making his ears turn red. She caressed his warm cheek with her palm, and she leaned forward and kissed his nose.

“Good.” He said smirking, tugging her towards him, kissing her harshly. She breathed heavily at a quicker pace, and she pushed him off of her, looking around the room.

“Here,” he said, offering her inhaler. She grabbed it and took a puff, slowing her breathing.

She thanked him and he nodded at her.

“I’m gonna have twenty of those on me everywhere we go now.” He joked, causing her to softly chuckle. She rested her hand on his chest, feeling his heartbeat.

“I really am sorry. I love you.” He whispered.

“I love you too.”

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for bad-mouthing my boyfriend’s toxic family?

(🐈‍⬛ For me to recognize my post later)

I (20f) have a boyfriend (21m) who is physically disabled and still currently living at home with his parents for a while as he tries to scrape his savings together to move in with me. This wouldn’t be an issue, if his parents weren’t immensely transphobic (he’s trans) and outright abusive towards him. Despite having an official doctor’s diagnosis for ALL of his issues, both mental and physical, they just?? Like to pretend that he’s completely able-bodied, and that he’s making up his issues “for attention” (<- something that they’ve actually said to him)

My bf isn’t ready to leave the house just yet because he doesn’t want to feel like a burden and wants to be able to support himself without my help, despite my constant offering and support, but this ofc just means that he’s STAYING in that house, and it’s clear that it effects him really negatively. He’s improved a lot since I’ve met him in high school, but him being in that house is just. Awful for his health, his self esteem, literally everything. I guess I understand his reasonings for not leaving (he’s on his parents’ health insurance, his dad’s a vet so he gets a ton of money off his college bill, he’s got a little sister at home that he doesn’t want to leave alone, etc etc), but at the same time, I fucking HATE his parents, more than I’ve ever hated anyone in my life. He’s such an amazing guy, but I’ve seen him reduced to panic attacks just on their words alone, and it’s awful and I hate them.

I’m also very vocal with this hate. I tell him all the time. Whenever he vents to me, or mentions something awful that his parents have/had done in passing, or tries to excuse their behavior, I will tell him point-blank that I hate his parents and that he needs to leave. He gets incredibly upset whenever I say stuff like that, however, and has asked me multiple times to quit it, but it’s just so hard to see him loving them so fiercely when they literally only give him the bare minimum in return.

The reason for this post at all is because I started going off on a tangent about two days ago when he managed to escape (he has to ask for permission every time he wants to go out) to my place to destress and have a small date night, and I specifically asked him how his parents had been treating him recently because he’d been pretty quiet about it. He got really quiet and eventually told me that they keep adding really weird stuff to do for his household responsibilities (ex: dusting the UNDERSIDE of tables??) and that they’re now threatening to take away the things he loves (his phone, his books, his DOOR) if he doesn’t keep up with the new workload, which is especially hard because, again, he’s DISABLED. Well this pissed me off, because they’ve done shit like that in the past and it never ends well for him, and I started talking about how much his parents suck and how I wish he would just leave, and he got really quiet and just said “I think I’m just gonna leave now” and just. Left

In the aftermath, I feel awful about it. We’ve texted a few times since then, and he says that he’s okay and that it was fine, and how he just needs to get over it, but it’s very clear that he’s still upset by it and just trying not to make it a big issue. I know that he hates it when I badmouth his parents, but I genuinely do not know any other way to get it into his head that he needs to leave as soon as possible, if only to save his own health. I love him so so much, we’ve been together since high school, we would die for each other, and we’ve been through so much that not very many couples have had to go through, especially not at our age. I sincerely just want the best for him, and this feels like I could open the topic again and try to make him SEE, but I’m just worried that I might have upset him this time in a way that he might not be able to get over.

Sorry for this getting so long, I just feel very strongly about it and I want to know if I’m the AH here and should lay off, or keep trying to make him see that he just needs to get out as soon as possible. So tumblr, AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[rainylana]

“I need Nancy.”

Eddie Munson x reader

summary: this is part four of ‘i will always take care of you’. a peaceful morning leaves you feeling confident, ready to go back to work and return to your normal self, but a horrifying realization sets you back at square one.

warnings: this chapter contains graphic depictions of sexual assault and sexual violence, language, trauma and ptsd, flashbacks, mentions of pregnancy, graphic panic attacks, brief mentions of eating habits, gagging and dry heaving, vomiting. please read with discretion. i really like this chapter, so i hope you do to. please, let me hear your thoughts, they mean the world to me<3

taglist!

@ariesl0ves3ddiemuns0n @eddiemania @eddiemunnson @kellysimagines @justaproudslytherpuff @imabadarsebard @bellasfavoritesweatpants @blowing-mikey @tessiemessie @ohlovelyhollow @ches-86 @mic429 @noturmom15 @lexthemess21 @catherinnn @delilahtaylorsverson @lillianofliterature @no0neknowsm3 @underthebatcape @supercalifragilisticprincess @imdoingbetternow @kaqua @softyutae @getbillzoned @phantomxoxo @fionnthebandersnacc @rovckwells @avobabe87 @nothisispatric @actuallybarb @kneelforloki @hearts4laura @heeyitsg @imangy @ahzysauce @your-starless-eyes-remain @cosmic-lavender @insomniac-nerd-posts-things @flowers-and-tsukki @antigoneidk @averysblog @genuine-possum @ultimate-sdmn-trash @fentyreligion @tripthlightfantastic @aa-li-yxh @xx-hospitalforsouls-xx-blog @chaos-incorp @livasaurasrex @fvcking-gxddess

His eyes peeled open tiredly and squinted at the dim light that shone through the living room blinds, and he stifled a choked yawn as he glanced at the clock. It was close to seven, and he was lucky he’d woken up early since he hadn’t sat an alarm, as he had to be at work at nine o’clock His fingers curled into your hair as he looked down at your sleeping form, your legs tucked in between his and your arms draped over his torso.

Your face seemed permanently stained with tears, your nose was stuffy and dry, purple and blotched with black marks from your bruises, eye bags the size of craters. Yet, you looked the most at peace than you had in days. Drool pooled at the corner of your mouth, body completely slack and relaxed against his own. He breathed heavily and tiredly, curling his arms around you and bringing you closer as he settled back into comfort. It took him a grand total of five minutes to get ready, and he spent the rest of his mornings always in bed. He hated mornings, but with you, they were always more bearable.

His pink, full lips pressed against your forehead, his nose nuzzled against your brows. You seemed so small and delicate in his embrace, and even though his tired body craved for more sleep, he found himself staring at you, like maybe if he stared long enough, the answer to what was wrong with you would appear against your eyelids. He thought back to the night before, growing sick at the memory of your panic attack. They’d never gotten that bad before. Even on nights where you seemed stuck in the upside down, they had never gotten that extreme.

What puzzled him most was the fact you kept throwing his name in the middle of it. You were protecting him, you had said. You were doing all of it for him. You were afraid he’d never look at you same way? That…that didn’t even make sense! None of it made sense, and he was close to bashing his skull against a brick wall. It was killing him not knowing, like an itch underneath his skin he couldn’t scratch. Keeping secrets wasn’t something you both did.

But surely, he had to have done something, because you kept saying it was for him. Every sob and whimper you had cried you’d said that everything was for his benefit, to protect him. So what did he fuck up without realizing? You kept saying he didn’t do anything, but damn, you were a wreck. But, he wouldn’t push you anymore. He wouldn’t bombard you with questions like he’d been doing, because last night practically traumatized him, and he knew he’d revisit it in his nightmares.

He felt guilty for thinking about it, knowing how embarrassed you would be, but you literally peed yourself. You’d been so upset you peed yourself. He opened his eyes and looked to the kitchen, eyes narrowing at the absence of the puddle on the floor. He lifted the blanket off your shoulders, craning his neck to see that you’d changed your clothes sometime during the night. Damn it. He didn’t want you to see that, but he was glad you were able to come back to bed with him, rather than go to the solitude of your room. He wouldn’t bring it up unless you wanted to talk about it.

He laid there for awhile until he grew anxious, waiting for when you woke up. Slowly, he slid out underneath you, rolling you to the side and tucking you back in before he got ready for work. He was working as a mechanic with Wayne, a job in which he really loved. The money wasn’t all that great, but it was steady and dependable, and he got to see some really cool cars. He took a quick shower and brushed his teeth, changed into his greasy uniform he’d been putting off to wash. Usually you did it for him, or made him do it. By eight, you were still sound asleep and curled up against the couch, so he decided to make you breakfast.

He opened the fridge and cringed at the smell that hit his noise, something foul making him take a step back. It was the leftover takeout you’d gotten several days ago that hadn’t been eaten, and he dramatically plugged his nose as he threw it in the trash. Really, when he thought about it, he couldn’t remember the last time you’d ate, and that only fueled his ambition to feed you. He tried to keep quiet as he made your favorite, chocolate chip pancakes, softly humming a Frank Sinatra song that his uncle had gotten into his head.

And by 8:20, your eyes opened tiredly, face pressed against the couch in a way that made your nose ache, but you were too tired to move. Something felt different this morning. You didn’t know what it was yet, but something was significantly different. The comforting smell of your favorite breakfast food filled your broken nostrils, and for one in days, the smell did not make you sick. It made you feel content. You could hear him humming, his footsteps padding along the tile floor. The tv was on, and you didn’t have to turn to know what was playing. The Andy Griffith show. Eddie loved that show. Always had. Wayne had kept it on when he was a little kid, so he grew up with it, and laughed his ass off when Barney did something reckless.

The night before seemed like a hazy fog, and you pushed the thoughts away before they consumed you entirely and ruined the good mood you had going for you. You didn’t know why, but today just seemed like it was going to be a good day. You turned slowly, moaning lowly at the rippled burn going up your abdomen, and rested your hand under your cheek as you watched him. He had a toothpick in his mouth, rolling it between his lips as he flipped around a spatula. Your lips pulled up in a smile. A smile. You hadn’t done that in days.

“Good morning.” Your voice cracked hoarsely, and he stopped his hopped dancing as he turned. “Morning, sweetheart.” He smiled softly, pushing his hair back. “Sleep okay?”

You nodded. It really was the best sleep you’d had in weeks. “Good.” He praised. “I uh- I don’t know if you’re hungry but I made your favorite. Up for a bite?” He glanced at you, pointing between your and the pancakes with the shiny red spatula.

You weren’t sure how much you’d be able to eat, or if you’d eat any, honestly, but they smelled so good that you couldn’t decline him. “Sure.” You hummed, slowly pulling yourself up. Your face morphed into a pained expression, and you gripped the blanket beneath you to keep from crying out. Your eyes stayed on Eddie’s back the entire time, making sure he didn’t turn around. You sighed heavily once you composed yourself.

“Ready to go back to work tomorrow?” He peeked over at you as he grabbed utensils.

You internally cursed the universe. You’d been off for two weeks for a paid vacation, one of the perks of having a full time job. You enjoyed it. You worked in a flower shop, making arrangements and bouquets of balloons. It was a very creative outlet and work space, that’s why Eddie didn’t believe you or Nancy when you’d said it was stressing you out. “I suppose so.” You shrugged your shoulder, tucking your wild hair behind your ear.

You watched as he struggled to carry everything in his arms, balancing the two plates, syrup and glasses of orange juice. “Want some help?” You went to stand.

“No, no, you sit,” He ushered you back down, tongue sticking out of his teeth as he lowered himself to the floor in front of you, sitting down by your feet. “You get to have breakfast in bed today.” He smiled up at you, placing the plate on your lap and setting your glass of orange juice on the coffee table beside you.

You smiled back softly, thanking him under your breath as you bit back a pained sigh. Your foot was barely ghosting his knee as he sat cross legged, already digging into his breakfast as he splattered syrup all over his plate, some dripping down onto the floor. You took your fork and cut into your pancake, bringing it up to your mouth to investigate. It smelled heavenly, and you hoped it would taste the same to.

The taste nearly made you want to cry at how comforted it made you feel, and you sighed contently as you chewed threw the taste of chocolate. “Good?” He asked threw his lashes.

You nodded and spoke through a mouthful. “Good.”

He smirked happily as he squeezed your calf, wiping his lips with his uniformed wrist. You are slowly, but he was just happy you ate, and frankly, so were you. You knew it wasn’t helping your constant headaches, assuming that your blood sugar was damn near plummeting to the ground. He kept glancing up at you, and while the staring made you a little uneasy, you didn’t blame him. After all, you’d put him through a lot that night, and it made you feel guilty. The least you could do is eat his damn pancakes.

“Wayne’s been missing you.” Eddie recalled the memory of his uncle badgering him with questions, wondering where the hell you had disappeared to. “He wants to have us over for dinner some night this week.”

You stopped eating, looking at him oddly with a syrupy mouth. “Dinner? But Wayne can’t cook..?”

He snorted at your reaction, tilting back a bit as he laughed. “I know, he can’t. But that’s not stopping him. He wants to make some sort of fancy pasta he seen on the tv, some shit I ain’t even heard of.”

You couldn’t help but hum in amusement, eyes locking with your lover’s as he smiled. “That’s funny.”

He giggled like a schoolboy. “I know.” He nodded, reaching up to wipe the drop of sticky syrup that was rolling down your chin. You smiled and thanked him under your breath, squinting at the sunlight that was beginning to pour through. It had been awhile since you’d been outside and enjoyed the weather, as the ride to the hospital was as enjoyable as one would think. You brought up another bite to your lips, eyes still stuck on the window as you yearned for fresh air.

Eddie was staring at you shamefully, lips parted and eyes lovestruck as he took in your beauty. Even through what seemed to be the most difficult time of your life, you were the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. It almost made him want to cry. “You’re so beautiful.”

You turned to look at him, giving a small, delicate smile that almost went undetected. You sure didn’t feel beautiful these days, but Eddie always made you feel like you were. “So are you.”

He smiled, standing up to take your now empty plate. “You want more?”

“Oh- uh, no, I’m alright.” You wiped your mouth on your sleeve, reaching to pick up your orange juice. “Thank you. It was good.”

He placed the dirty dishes in the sink, running the tap water. “So, what are you gonna do today? Last day of vacation.”

You had no idea, but looking back to the window, you really, really, wanted to go outside. You didn’t know where this sense of…calmness came from, why you felt so relaxed, despite everything. Well, that was silly, of course you did. It came from Eddie. You had let him. You had let him help you. “I think I might go for a walk.” You sighed, picking your feet up off the floor and tucking them underneath you.

“Oh, yeah? If you feel up to it, you could swing by on my lunch break.”

You nodded, the food putting you in a comfortable state of drowsiness. You laid your head on the back of the couch, eyes focusing on the black and white screen of the tv. Barney and Andy were arguing about something. Something about a gun that Barney wanted to keep in his pocket. You stifled an amused smile, listening as Eddie cleaned the remnants of his cooking. Your gaze switched back over to him, and you couldn’t help it as a wave of gratitude washed over you.

This was the most comfortable you had felt in so long. You felt comfortable speaking, interacting, even felt comfortable in your own body. And you knew it was all because of him. The way he had held you, spoke to you and comforted you. It made you want to tell him the whole story, but you couldn’t think that way. That was selfish. Your eyes blurred with tears as your heart swelled with the love you had for him. Slowly, you stood up and padded your way over to him.

You wrapped your arms around his stomach, your chest pressing against his back as you laid your cheek along his spine. He stopped, craning his neck back as he chuckled. “What’s this for?”

Your fingers softly circled his abdomen, your nose breathing in his smell of motor oil and cheap cologne. “I just…thank you.”

“For what, baby?” His hand rested on top of yours. You didn’t shy away from the feeling.

You pushed pack a lump in your throat. You didn’t need to cry today. Today was going to be a good day. “For last night.”

His lips parted at a loss of words, trying to think of what he could say that wouldn’t upset you. He quickly wiped his wet hands on his pants, turning around in your embrace as he collected you in his long arms. You sighed happily as you nuzzled your face in his chest, his chin resting atop of your head as he squeezed you softly. He didn’t say anything. He didn’t need to. His actions spoke louder than anything he could possibly say.

“You want me to take off today?” He kissed your ear, speaking softly.

“You don’t have to do that.” You sighed contently. “Wayne needs you. I’ll be alright.”

He nodded, wishing he didn’t have to go in. Today was obviously a good day for you. He wanted to be apart of it. He held you for awhile longer until he had to leave, leaving a wet, noisy kiss on your cheek that made you giggle. You watched him hop in his van and pull out of the trailer park, wishing you could go with him and watch him work on cars all day, but you decided you weren’t going to sit around all day. You were going to shower, or try your very best to, and take your walk. You had earned it. Besides, it was a beautiful day. You didn’t want to waste it.

•

Showering had been difficult. You were incredibly sore and it ached when you bent your body in certain angles. Your bruises were at their peak, and it looked as if someone had taken purple paint and splattered it on you. Your hair was pure grease from not being washed and you cringed that Eddie had to see it. There were indents of fingers on the back of your thighs, and you had thrown up when you saw them. But still, no matter how badly the shower hurt and how much you wanted to sob on the bathroom floor and drown yourself, you got through it. You bucked up.

You dressed yourself comfortably, leggings and a t shirt. You hadn’t worn anything but sweaters, but you investigated your arms carefully and couldn’t find any bruises besides a tiny one that Eddie wouldn’t notice unless he had a magnifying glass. Stepping outside into the sun made your lungs soar. You took in deep, deep breaths that made your bruised ribs ache, but the pain was pleasant for the prize.

You weren’t entirely sure how far your body could walk, but you wanted to make the most of it. You walked around the trailer park and watched as the kids played on the shared playground, throwing sand about the turtle sandbox. The neighbors waved at you and you waved back, shoes crunching against the gravel road. You eventually found yourself in the woods around the area, walking along deer trails and the paths they made. Your pain had subsided after awhile, your medications kicking in along with mother nature healing your tarnished spirit. Your shoes were dirty from walking in the muddy creaks, but you didn’t care. Your eyes caught squirrels and bunnies, even a baby dear bedded down. Hunting season was starting soon, you remember, knowing that Wayne was surely excited about it.

You’d been gone for nearly four hours, and you came back dirty and covered in mood. You immediately plopped back on the couch in exhaustion, your muscles aching and burning. It felt good though, the best you’d felt in a long while. You had called Eddie and told him you were too tired to drive over. He was concerned, at first, thinking maybe you were slipping back into your shell, but was happy to hear you’d been out walking all morning. He told you to rest and he’d see you later that evening.

You watched tv for a good part of the remainder of the day, some you spent on the porch and bathed in the sun. Some kids even came up to you and asked if you wanted to buy some girl scout cookies. You bought a box of thin mints for you, and peanut butter for Eddie, and the girls thanked you with squeals when you typed them ten extra dollars. Eddie firmly believed that mint did not belong on anything besides toothpaste, not even gum. The only gum he chewed was hot cinnamon.

You read for awhile, catching up on Steven King’s Silver Bullet. The movie was getting ready to come out in theaters, so you promised Eddie you’d read it and go with him. It was scary, but it intrigued you. In reality, you hadn’t done much that day, but it seemed like climbing up Everest for you. But once you pushed yourself, you got to the top, and it was worth it. Maybe you’d be okay. Eddie was helping you, whether he knew the whole story or not, just having him there by your side, holding you and praising you helped in a way he couldn’t understand .

You thought the bad outshined the good, but you were wrong, because today had been amazing, and you couldn’t wait for Eddie to get home.

•

Black Sabbath blasted through his busted speakers as he pulled into the drive of the trailer park, bouncing in his seat as he ran through potholes. He was anxious to see you, and he hoped your good mood lasted through the day and would great him with a smile. He slowed his speed as he drove past peoples homes, lifting his fingers in a wave as he passed a few neighbors. He pulled into his driveway, bopping his head to the chorus before he pulled his keys out of the ignition.

“Eddie! Eddie! Eddie!”

His eyes widened at the stamped of two children that came running his way, and he held his hands up surrender. “Woah! What did I do?”

“Are cat had kittens, Eddie!” Beamed little Kathy, who lived right across from you guys. Kathy was just nine years old, and her brother, Patrick, was three. “You wanna see them!” Patrick smiled, jumping up and down.

Eddie rolled his eyes as he smirked, leaning against his van as he looked down at the kids. You both felt bad for them, because their parents were nothing short of grade a assholes, and they had even spent the night at your place once when they showed up scared to death in the middle of the night, their parents screaming next door in a drunken rage. “Come on, guys, I haven’t even seen the wife yet.” You weren’t married, but you loved that he called you the endearment.

“Please, please, please! They’re soooo cute!” Kathy’s pigtails bounced with her hyper jumps. He playfully groaned as he allowed them to grab his hands and pull him across the road, patrick pulling on his sleeves to be carried.

“Alright, let’s see these critters, hm?” He crouched down by their porch, happy their parents weren’t home, however it was pretty shitty of them to let their nine year old take care of a baby. A cardboard box was tucked under the porch, a blanket on the bottom that the six little kittens and their mother rested on. He smirked as Kathy giggled, holding onto his hand as she pointed at them. “See! Aren’t they cute! I have them all named!”

“Are you going to tell me or do I have to keep waiting in suspense?” He reached out to trace a tiny kitten with his pinky finger as Patrick crawled on his hands and knees under the porch to sit next to them.

“This is Pinky,” She started at the left end. “This is slinky, this is winky, this is binky, this is stinky, and this is Dinky!” She pointed to each kitten, and Patrick giggled as Eddie raised a brow.

“Wow, I’m starting to sense a pattern here.” He shook his head in amusement. “Come on, Patrick, you’re gonna get dirty.” He held out his hand for the boy to take, leading him out of the porch as he stood, Kathy staying glued to his side.

“You want to take one!” Kathy squinted her eyes up at him.

“Uh- I’ll pass.” He pursed his lips, holding up a hand. “I’m surprised your mom and dad are letting you keep them.” He watched as her face immediately saddened, and little Patrick looked to his sister.

“Well, they don’t know we have them, so we’re trying to get rid of them before we get into trouble.” She brought her nails up to bite, and he sighed as he glanced between her and the kittens.

“Have you tried anyone else? There’s other kids around here that might want em’.”

“Said’ no’.” Patrick yanked on his sleeve again, holding his arms up.

“I swear, you kids are always wanting something,” He bent down to pick up the boy, causing Kathy to smile widely.

“So, you’ll take one!”

He nodded hesitantly. “Yeah, I’ll take one.” Maybe the idea wasn’t so bad, really. They were cute, and you’d been begging for a puppy for years, and he would never get a dog, so hopefully this would suffice. “And I’ll do you one better,” He shifted Patrick’s weight. “On my way to work tomorrow I’ll take the rest with me and see if anyone in town wants them, okay?”

“Oh, thank you, thank you, Eddie!” She cried happily, wrapping her arms around his legs. He stiffened awkwardly, patting her back. “Yeah, yeah, just give me the damn cat.”

•

You smiled excitedly when you heard his keys wiggle in the lock, and you jumped up to greet him, tucking a hair behind your ear. “Hey, Ed’s.”

“Hey, kiddo!” He beamed, tossing down his keys. “How’s my girl?” He kept his distance from you a bit as he looked you over, just to take a look at you.

“Good.” You smiled, fidgeting your fingers as you blushed. You couldn’t help but hurriedly throw yourself around his neck, cuddling up into his chest like it was your very lifeline.

He chuckled, hugging you back as he peaked down at you. “Someone miss me?” He sighed internally in relief, happy to see you still in good spirits. Maybe things were gonna be okay.

“Yeah.” You breathed him in. You pulled away to look up at him, giving him a quick peck on the cheek. “I ordered chinese food. Sorry, I didn’t feel like cooking.”

“And I got something for you too.” He smirked, crossing his arms in front of you. “I just hope you don’t kick me out for it.”

You craned your brow, becoming curious. “What is it?”

He held up his finger in a signal to wait there, and you watched him as he stepped outside. You brought your nail up to bite anxiously, and your eyes widened when he came back inside, a tiny, baby kitten in the palm of his hand. “What? Oh my, god! Where did you get her!”

“For starters,” He held his hands close to you. “It’s a he, his name is stinky, and Kathy and Patrick blackmailed me into taking him.”

You smiled with happy squeals. “Can I hold him?”

“Sure,” He placed her gently in your hands. “He’s yours now. Your lucky I didn’t bring all six over here, what with that pouty look those kids were givin’ me.”

“But I thought you didn’t want a pet.” You brought the animal to your chest. He was the size of a teacup, solid black with big grey eyes.

“Well, I was practically held at gunpoint over there. I didn’t have much of a choice.” He chuckled, petting the top of the kitten’s nose. “Besides, I thought he could keep you company when I’m not here.”

You bit your lip as you smiled deeply, looking up to him. “Thank you so much. I love him. Really, thank you.”

He found your gratitude funny, and he gave a nod as he hummed amusedly, kissing your shoulder as he moved passed you. “So you had a good day?” He began washing his dirty hands at the sink.

“Yeah, it was great.” You sat down in the recliner, happily playing with your new pet as he crawled around on your lap. “Did you say his name was Stinky?” You narrowed your eyes, looking over your shoulder.

“Yeah, she said he belonged with us since I smell all the time.” He rolled his eyes. “I wear cologne! I don’t know what she’s talking about.”

“Maybe you should stop smoking.” You pulled at his little tail, his tiny nails scratching your fingers.

“I’ll save that for a rainy day.”

When he finished, he moved to crouch down beside you, resting his chin on the arm of the chair as his hand played with Stinky. He smiled at your smiles, your playful giggles when he’d jump around on your lap. His eyes settled on your nose, seeing how the bruises had become more prominent and spread closer to your eyes. He sighed at the image, and his hand squeezed your knee. “So you really had a good day?” He said gingerly, needing to hear the confirmation.

The tone of his voice caught your attention, and your soft eyes found his glued up at you. There were full of love, concern and adoration. Your fingers went to his curls, tucking one behind his ears. “Mhm.” You hummed, flickering down to his lips. It had been days since you’d kissed him there, and he hadn’t even tried to. You felt grateful for that, but you really wanted to kiss him now. “I’m gonna be okay, Eddie.” You soothed him. “Really, I- just thank you for being so patient with me. Today was…I don’t know, I just really had a good day today.”

He looked deep into your eyes and saw nothing but genuine emotion, no more lies. He almost wanted to cry. He gulped, grabbing your hand and kissing your knuckles.

“Will you kiss me?” You whispered, almost embarrassed. He lifted his chin back up to you, staring through his lashes. That had felt like uncharted territory lately, and he wondered if it was pushing it. Your space seemed so important to you now, but the yearning in your eyes for him was clear, and hell, he was sure you could see it in his own.

He muttered a quiet yeah, as he sat up on his knees, placing his hand along the side of your head as he softly placed his lips on yours. You stifled a gasp at the feeling, fighting the urge to run away. No. They weren’t his lips. They were Eddie’s. They were Eddie’s lips. You didn’t know what to do with your hands, and in a way, it felt like your first kiss; awkward. He stopped when you whimpered, pulling apart. “What’s-”

“Keep going.” You begged him, grabbing onto his shirt. “Please, just- just give me a second.”

You pulled him back onto you, barely moving his lips on yours as your previous reaction. Whatever had happened must of really messed with you, he came to imagine over time, because you never acted this way when you kissed him. And after a second, you were able to relax. They were Eddie’s lips.

You kissed him back, hard, and he stilled surprisingly, gripping the arm of the chair. His lips caught up with yours, and he tried his best to keep from poking your nose with his own. Your breathing was loud and your hands slipped together, your mind going dizzy with a pleasant feelings. Right before he could slip his tongue in, a tiny little meow interrupted him.

You both irrupted into giggles looking down at your new houseguest. Maybe things were going to get better.

•

The smell of fresh flowers hit your nostrils as you pushed open the shop door, your eyes adjusting to the fluorescent lights on the ceiling. The flower shop was across town. It was small, but not cramped, and always kept you busy. People used flowers for all occasions. Birthdays, weddings and funerals, graduations. When Eddie wanted to get you flowers, he always had to do it on a day you weren’t working. The shop was set up nicely. Two bouquet cases on each wall, tables in the center of the room set with certain themes, stuffed animals and candy bouquets all about the room with balloons. It really did feel like a second home for you.

“Hey, look who’s back!”

You smiled at your coworkers once they spotted you, waving as you clocked in at the time clock. “Hey girls, been busy?”

“Oh, god, have we!” Jacky exclaimed, holding a stemmed rose in her mouth. “We’ve had call in after call in for orders. You couldn’t have come back at a better time.”

“How was vacation- holy shit what happened to your nose!” Rebecca gasped, dropping her scissors to the table.

“I’m okay.” You held up your hands. “Just tripped on my own feet. It doesn’t hurt that bad anymore.”

“Jesus, kid, we’re gonna have to start bubble wrapping you.” Jacky cringed at your deep bruises.

You smirked, dismissing the pained memories. “Yeah, that’s what Eddie said, too.”

“So, besides breaking your damn face, how was vacation?”

“Was fine.” You shrugged your shoulder, putting on a work apron. “Just caught up on sleep mostly. Eddie got me a kitten today.”

Jacky and Rebecca worked at the shop every single day. They were in their mid twenties, and had bought they shop five years when moving to town. Why they decided to move to that cursed town, you didn’t know, but you were grateful for the job. They were sweet and thoughtful, and in a way, they seemed like aunts to you, even though they weren’t that much older than you. “A kitten?” Jacky scoffed. “Since when does Eddie like animals? Doesn’t he have allergies?”

“Yeah, but only in the spring.” You tied your hair up in a bun, closing the gate to the work area as you approached the work bench. “So what can I help with?”

“Well, we have a whole list already wrote and planned out for you, kiddo! Didn’t want you to get bored on your first day back.” Rebecca smirked, rubbing your shoulder as you picked up the list.

It was a lot of arrangements to make, but you were happy for the work. The morning had started off just as good as yesterdays. You’d woken up in Eddie’s arms on the couch, little stinky running around the floor and playing with Eddie’s socks. He made you breakfast again, you watched Andy Griffith. You felt like you were in the eye of the hurricane. It was peaceful, healing. And honestly, you felt proud of yourself for even getting out of bed. You felt proud for showing up to work. Truth be told, you felt like you’d been hit by a damn train, but that didn’t keep you from coming in.

You told Eddie you’d go over to the shop on your lunch break and sit with him, besides, Wayne was bugging him about seeing you. That man loved you like a daughter. He was constantly asking Eddie for a grandnephew. Yes, he used the term grandnephew.

The only thing that hadn’t seemed to get better was your nightmares. They didn’t stop you from getting sleep, especially with being cuddled up by Eddie, but they were graphic and loud, always of the same thing. The bleeding between your legs had finally seemed to stop, only occasionally spotting. You’d been mortified when you found that your sweatpants were covered red in the back. You threw them away, not wanting him to see them.

Hours passed by at the shop, and you caught up with the girls, watching as the clock ticked by. You were happy you were able to sit at the table and work, because you couldn’t be on your feet for eight hours. No, you’d smack straight to the floor. You had lunch with Eddie and Wayne at noon, and the older man wrapped you in a big bear hug. It hurt your ribs, but you didn’t mind. You ate the half of Eddie’s chicken sandwich while you smiled at Wayne’s stories.

Before you knew it, it was time to close up shop. The orders for the day had been made and picked up, the balloons all sold. You were ready to call it a day.

“It’s been nice having you back kid. You’re a big help to us around here.” Jacky smiled, patting your back as she threw her purse over her shoulder.

“Thanks.” You blushed. “It’s been nice being back. I’ll see you-” The sudden twist of your stomach nearly sent you to the floor, and you gulped, the color dropping from your face as you held your stomach. “Oh, shit.” You groaned, swallowing.

“What’s wrong?” Rebecca came closer.

When your eyes settled on the trash can next to you, you launched yourself towards it desperately. Your hands locked around the edges, your hair fell as you leaned over, and you cried out loudly as you vomited, the violent heaves creating agonizing burns of pain along your ribcage. Your knees buckled as your eyes burned. You could hear voices, hands on your back, but the pain was terrible. Vomit filled your mouth and the cracks of your teeth, dripping down your chin as the vile smell hit your nostrils. And then, you felt something drip down your leg. Spotting again, surely. But blood was not what popped into your mind. No, you were feeling nothing but deja-vu.

The feeling of being bent over, unbearable pain and a wet, sticky substance dripping between your thighs. You could hear nothing but the sounds of your own sickness, sobs of fear and the panicked voices of your coworkers that seamed muffled under water. But blood was not what you had felt that might. Well, it was to an extent. But it had been him. His release he forced into you while you screamed and thrashed about.

When you finally seemed to empty all the contents of your stomach out, your hands gripped the circular surface of the trashcan, your eyes widened and drool spilled from your mouth as you cried. That’s when it hit you. He had came inside of you. The pats on your back were growing more frantic, the voices louder, along with another noise you couldn’t decide the source. You couldn’t no longer see clearly, a feeling deep inside of your chest burning hotly that made you want to faint. That sound was coming from you. You were sobbing, bent over the trash can and absolutely sobbing your heart out.

Oh, god, he’d came inside of you. You hadn’t…you hadn’t been registered it til now, hadn’t even thought about it. And now, the only thing that was sounding off in your head was your pregnant.

Your pregnant. Your pregnant. Your pregnant.

•

He blew every stop sign and stop light in town, ignored the honks from cars and pedestrians that crossed the street. He could of hit someone, if he did, he’d deal with it later. He’d been working on a ford ranger when the garage’s telephone started ringing off the hook. After letting it ring for several minutes, he eventually picked it up, and his heart fell to his stomach. He couldn’t hear much of what Rebecca was saying, but he could hear you in the background.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck.” He cursed, smacking his steering wheel as he swerved around cars. He gulped when he seen your shop come into sight, and he slammed on the breaks in front of the building.

“Y/n!” He shouted, busting inside and slamming open the door. “Y/n! Y/n!”

“Eddie!” Jacky gasped, running to him. “We don’t know what happened. She’s sick or something, I don’t-”

“Just take me to her!” His eyes widened at her frantic tone, allowing her to grab his arm and lead him through the shop. “Is she hurt? What the hell happened?”

“She was fine all day! Then she started throwing up and- god, I don’t know, it’s like she was having a panic attack or something! She won’t let us touch her!” Jacky put a hand on his back to lead him through the gate to the work area, and he scanned the room for you.

“Where-”

“Here.” Rebecca stepped up, joining the two. “She’s under the table. I don’t know- I don’t know, Eddie, she’s completely terrified. She won’t say anything.”

He looked to Rebecca’s outstretched hand across the room and sprinted, his heart racing. He slowed his speed as he rounded the table, finding you underneath. He crouched in front of you, stomach dropping at the sight of you. Your knees were to your chest, arms wrapped around them with your chin in the space between them. Tears and mucus stained your face, eyes bloodshot and hair wild and fallen out of your clip. You looked just like they said. Terrified.

He crouched in front of you and his eyes grew to the softest shade of brown they’d ever been. “Baby, baby, baby, what happened?” He cooed softly, his hands coming up to hold the side of your face, trying to search your eyes. “Are you hurt, baby? They said you were sick. What’s going on, hm?” He was trying to be as gentle as possible, because you looked so fragile. More fragile than you had the other night. You were frantic and hysterical then, now, you were dead silent. He didn’t like that.

You wouldn’t look at him, only staring at his chest. Your hands were shaking, a heartbeat in your nose pulsing angrily. Eddie could feel the Jacky and Rebecca’s eyes on him, but he ignored them, scooting closer until he was practically under the table with you. His hand held the back of your head, the other, wiping your tears as he took in your form. He stayed like that for a few minutes, letting you take in his presence, hoping it would make you relax, know that he was there with you.

“Talk to me, baby.” He whispered, caressing your cheek.

You were in a state or shock, could barely even feel your body sitting on the floor. You knew Eddie was there with you, you just couldn’t muster up the energy to say anything. “I need you to talk to me, y/n.” He combed through your hair. “I need you tell me what’s been going on. Let me help you.”

You were so close to telling, so close to letting it all go. It was like your body was tingling, holding the weight of the world up and ready to drop it at any second. You looked to Eddie, eyes tearing up as he softly whispered that it was okay. He was staring at you with love and strength, and god, you wished you could be strong like him. Your chest ached and bubbled, and the words almost spilled from your mouth.

“It’s alright, honey,” He nodded. “You can tell me.”

He was perfect. Eddie was just so, so perfect. And beautiful. He was like a damn greek goddess. His hands held your face, catching your tears and lips softly whispering gentle reassurances. You wanted to fall, right there, and you knew he’d catch you. You were just too scared.

“I need Nancy.” Your voice broke, choking on a sob.

His face fell, and he tried not be hurt. “Sweetheart,” He swallowed, tilting down his chin as you looked down. “Y/n, please, let me help you. I want to help you.”

You started to cry softly, and you felt the oily substance between your thighs as you shifted, and it only made you sob, digging your hands into your shoulders as you hugged yourself. Pregnant. Pregnant. Pregnant.

“I need Nancy.” You whimpered, feeling that thick pressure build back up in your throat.

Eddie squeezed his eyes shut in desperation, trying his hardest to be patient with you. “But- honey, see, you- you need me. You need my help.” He lightly shook you, trying to get you to see reason. “Just let me help you, baby. Let me take care of you. You’ve just gotta trust me, y/n.”

You whined, your skin starting to burn. Life had always been difficult for you. You’d never gotten the easy road, never gotten a break. Anything that could possibly happen to you, did. So that’s how you knew you were pregnant, and it explained the constant throwing up you were doing. Eddie wouldn’t understand. He…he wouldn’t. God, what if he thought you’d cheated on him? Slept around behind his back. He’d never forgive you. No, no, you couldn’t tell him.

“No- no, Eddie, please, I-” You gasped, shaking your head as your hands shook in front of you. “Nancy. I need her, please- she’ll understand, Eddie-”

“Honey, I’ll understand.” He strained with wide eyes, your cries becoming stronger, gasps becoming heavier. He did not want a repeat of the other night. “Why are you scared of me? I’m- sweetheart, I’m not gonna hurt you. Why won’t you talk to me?” His voice was molded in a tone of hurt.

“No!” You snapped tearfully, making him jump. “No! No! I need Nancy! Please, please, Eddie, please, I need Nancy!” You sobbed, recoiled from his grasp as your chest heaved. Your cries were pained, face twisted in hurt. You just wanted things to be over. You thought you could do it, but you couldn’t. It was too hard.

Eddie sighed in exhaustion, heart beginning to race at the exhilarated speed of your hysterics. He hadn’t wanted to push you, but damnit, enough was enough. He needed to know.

“Y/n,” He said firmly, grasping your shoulders. “I need to know what happened.”

You sobbed, scratching at your arms as your vision went dark. Your chest started to ache, grow tight, and you were gasping for breath.

“Now, y/n.” A lump built in his throat, and before he knew it, his eyes were watering. “Damnit it, y/n, just tell me! Just tell me what is wrong!”

“You aren’t listening to me!” You threw his hands off you, glaring at him through tears and fury. “You won’t understand! I need Nancy! Please, Eddie-” You were pushed over the edge in hysterics, and you gripped your throat as you coiled over, a sharp gag muffling your cries.

Nausea flipped you upside down, your hands smacking against the floor to keep you up as you dry heaved, and that burn vibrated off your abdomen.

“Call, Wheeler!” Eddie shouted over his shoulder to the girls. “Hawkins Post! Call her!” His hands were at your back and he scooted beside you, holding you up as you jolted violently against him.

“Oh god-” He pushed your sweaty hair back, wincing at your gagged tears and he just didn’t know what to do. “I’ve got you, baby. She’s coming, okay? She’s coming, Nancy’s coming.”

Those bouncy, brunette curls were his saving grace as much as they were yours. Nancy’s eyes welled up with tears when she ran to you, crouching down in front of you as she took in your form, hunched over and panicking. “Y/n, I’m here.” She pulled you into her chest, and you relaxed into her immediately, wrapping your arms around her torso and wetting her dress with your sobs.

“I’m here, I’m here, sweetheart.” She cried softly, rocking you gently against her. “Just breath, I’m here.”

Nancy held you as tight as she could, squeezing her eyes shut as you wailed hysterically in pain, a dark, looming cloud of death hanging over you. Her soft, big brown eyes switched over to Eddie’s, and he looked absolutely devastated.

He was crying, a solemn tear falling down his cheek as he looked at her, it was a mixture of a glare, jealousy and hurt, yet gratitude at the same time. “I’ll bring her home, Eddie.” Nancy whispered tearfully.

He didn’t argue, there was no point. You didn’t want his help anyway. He gave a nod, giving you one last glance before he left.

[babyyweebbitch]

Ghost headcannons

this is a request for @simonsdoll 💃🏾🕺🏾 sorry it took so long, yesterday was long day 😀

i feel like simon and ghost are two different people.. simon is only around the people he truly trusts and cares about and ghost is something so different, ghost is a stealthy, cold hearted killer who will do anything to survive and doesn’t give a fuck about anyone else in certain situations, with you hes simon

when you two started dating he was very quiet and didn’t say much about himself, i feel like his childhood trauma plays a role in that, he doesn’t wanna say something and lose you since you’re the only person who actually gave him a chance in a relationship

he hates asking you to help him with some wounds and if he got shot in a place he can’t reach he would have just left the bullet in there and let it heal on its own because he hates asking you for help, but you always somehow figure it out and help him anyway dispite his protests

just like könig, he’s a tall boi. he’s like 6’4-6’5?? and i’d assume over 250 as well and if you’re smaller than him good lord have fun with him fucking with you a lot. he’s the type to place everything on high shelves/places you cannot reach and watch you climb on the counter to get it and then he gets it for you if you still can’t reach

he’s emotionally stunted since he grew up way faster than he was supposed to, so please be patient with him he’s trying

he had a panic attack plus a flashback once and accidentally punched you in the ribs because he was thrown back to when he was a child and he was being tormented by his father. he didn’t touch you for an ungodly amount of time after he found out he broke a rib when he punched you. he genuinely was so scared you were gonna leave him after that or even call the cops but you surprisingly didn’t

i have a headcannon he has alot of silly socks and wears them on missions. like imagine he’s getting ready and he’s got one shoe on trying to tie it and the other foot is just sock. (soap took a picture and showed it to EVERYONE and ghost threatens to feed him to his dog in the middle of the night)

the only holiday he likes is halloween — you cannot convince me he goes all out on halloween and it’s the only time of the year he’s actually having fun

he once dressed up as a scarecrow and you were passing out candy. he’s very good at staying still because of his job so he stood there and every time a person came up he would scare the ever living fuck out of them (he’s made multiple children cry by the way)

secretly likes when you touch him, he likes to say he doesn’t but we all know he knows that we know he likes it. if you guys are just sitting on the couch having tea he will grab your hand and hold it or place it on his head so you can play with his hair. if you ask something like “does that feel good” or “your hair is soft” he will get embarrassed and tell you to stop, you think it’s adorable

ACCIDENTALLY DROPKICKED SOAP INTO A LAKE THINKING IT WAS THE ENEMY BECAUSE SOAP AND THE ENEMY LOOKED ALIKE 💀💀 (soap was hit a lot that day BY HIS OWN HOMIES and he still is very sore from it to this day)

[angelofthenight]

hey listen yk how Yan polite reader *USE* to be together with reader right! right what if reader started dating another person

(new follower also I only have crumbs of this guy

Purge Leader x Reader: Yan!Headcanons Pt.2

Warnings: Yandere, Dark themes, Paranoia, Stalking/Spying, Jealousy/Possessiveness, Emotional cruelty, Murder/Gore, Non-Con, Kidnapping, The Purge being its own warning

Word Count: 1.9k

( BRO SORRY THIS TOOK LIKE YEARS???😭😭 )

Part 1

Requested: @narcozmx-blog @iskamr

~

♡ You genuinely didn’t expect to fall in love again after everything you’ve been through

♡ You thought your emotions were far too distracted and invested in fear to ever feel feelings like that ever again, especially since last time you indulged in attraction it cost lives

♡ But then someone just came around at the right place and right time while you were at your lowest and told you all the things you wanted to hear

♡ They were so selflessly honest. You didn’t have to read in between the lines, there was no guessing game about what they really meant, and no mind games. All things you had to suffer through in your past relationship with him

♡ You didn’t want to put their life in danger just because of your selfishness. You even warned them off your predicament with the purge after their pursuing flirting never seemed to falter

♡ They didn’t care. In fact, they said they would dedicate their life to protecting you if you’d have them and let them be yours and let yourself be theirs

♡ So for multiple months, you felt true happiness again and peaceful bliss. They made you feel safe and secure and you never looked over your shoulder when you were in their presence. In fact, sometimes it felt like your life was normal and nothing bad ever happened to you. As if you didn’t spend every night thrashing and whimpering in your sleep. You forgot how cruel the world really was when staring into their eyes, angel orbs staring right back at you

♡ They told you that you both would save up money to move to a country where the purge doesn’t occur at all. Any country you wanted

♡ That proposal made you so happy, beaming over the edge with joy and sentimental tears

♡ But as Purge Day grew closer and closer, a deep pit slowly began to rot in your stomach, pinching your insides every once in awhile. And when the date was just a month away it grew clear to you and your lover that you did not have enough money to run away just yet. Enough for the plane and a hotel for a couple days. But not enough to make a safe start in a brand new country

♡ You had to stay in America for Purge night. You had to survive one last purge

♡ Your lover had never seen you as such a mess of a person before as you became obsessed with the countdown to the dreadful night. You had so many panic attacks, mental breakdowns, hyperventilating meltdowns, and sobbing sessions

♡ They had told you of many sanctuaries you could hide, wealthy families who were generous enough to offer safety in their homes, bomb shelters, places no one would think to hide in

♡ They didn’t understand that you’ve hidden in those places before. And he found you every single time. No matter what building you hide in, no matter what state you ran to, he would find you

♡ They reminded you that all you had to do was survive for only twelve hours

♡ Why didn’t they understand how much can happen in twelve hours? How much mental pain and irreversible trauma you’ve been forced to endure every single purge

♡ They tried to comfort you by mentioning that you’ve survived every purge so far and you are still a free individual

♡ They didn’t understand that it’s not about you surviving, it’s about whoever is standing in his way surviving. You wanted to break up right there and then to spare their life, but they refused to leave your side

♡ All you had to do was make it through one purge night then you can run away across the ocean

~

♡ You whore. You bitch. What the hell did you think you were doing?

♡ You really thought you could be with some other person and he wouldn’t know?

♡ You had to know he was watching you. You were just trying to piss him off. You’re like a child rebelling. That had to be the answer. Why else would you lower your standards, and yourself, to the level of dating some lowlife nobody

♡ You were his. His only and his forever

♡ Outside of the Purge, he was always watching you. Watching you go about your everyday life. Stalking you. Spying on you. Following you

♡ He used to approach you many times, just to mess with you and mentally antagonize you, knowing you couldn’t do anything about it other than running away. As if that did anything. Even some of his purge friends, ones you’ve grown familiar with on Purge night through the years, would wave ‘hi’ to you in public. He knew it drove you mad, and he loved that

♡ He loved how sensitive and reactive his toy was. He loved his fragile little plaything

♡ But when he sees you with some walking piece of shit, his anger boils underneath his skin so hot he wants to claw his own skin off

♡ He was most furious at the observations of little quirks you also did when you were officially his

♡ Like rubbing your fingers over their knuckles, always pulling them by their neck to get closer during make outs, needing to take a bite out of their food first before digging into yours claiming it was to make sure theirs wasn’t poisoned, softly bumping your nose against theirs before you kissed them

♡ You did all of that stuff with him. And now you were repeating all your little quirks for them

♡ They didn’t deserve you. No one on the face of the planet, both dead and alive, did. He was the only one for you

♡ He was going to make you realize that. No matter what. And he didn’t care how many lives he had to brutally slaughter or casually destroy to do it

♡ But just like with your old best friends and everyone else who stood in his way, he had to wait till Purge night to butcher that scum

♡ He daydreamed about how he would do it. He loved when he axed your friends but he thought this specific person deserved a special death. He fantasized about killing them in front of you, imagining all the different ways he could do it. All those thoughts made him smile to himself

♡ He fantasized chopping off their limbs one by one so they would die slowly, drilling out their eyes, slamming a chainsaw right down their head, stabbing every inch of their skin so their corpse would be unrecognizable, gutting them open in front of you. All of this as you would cry rivers from your eyes, begging him to stop

♡ And once the execution was carried out, he would immediately go down on you right on that floor, right next to their body

~

♡ He was coming for you. Him and all of his friends

♡ Even from the far corner in the small kiln room of the abandoned middle school your lover had found, you still heard the distant, almost muffled, sounds of their laughter

♡ How did they find you? How did he find you?

♡ Your courageous lover held their gun tightly in their hands, having it concentratedly aimed at the locked and barricaded door. You hugged their arm as your eyes never once left the door, your heart pounding so loud and heavy you feared it would give away your location

♡ What two hours felt like two minutes, they were closer than ever. You heard them roam the art room just outside your door as they giggled to each other, none of them bothered being quiet

♡ Suddenly they were slamming a battering ram against the door, two swings broke the lock and four more swings tumbled your barricade down. You fearfully and shakingly whispered your lovers name repeatedly in their ear, needing to know they were getting ready to shoot even though they’ve never killed anyone before

♡ The barricade had fallen and the door opened without anything else in the way. Your lover fired five bullets as soon as they saw someone in the doorframe. You witnessed the first two people in line fall backwards. When more people stepped in, your lover’s shooting never stopped

♡ Your heart coldly stopped at the haunting sound of the clicking of the gun. It was empty

♡ Your fate had been sealed into doom

♡ Your lips quivered uncontrollably as your masked ex boyfriend suavely stepped into the room, carelessly stepping over his fallen friends. He slid off his mask to reveal his malicious smile and cocky gaze. “Smart of me to let them go first.” He said with a humored snicker. It made you nauseated

♡ “Thank you for keeping them warm for me, but I’ll take it from here.” He said as he positioned his axe in both hands, his cheshire cat smile widening down at the two of you. The very same axe he used on your highschool best friends, the very same axe that started it all. How fitting it would be the one to end it

♡ It all happened so fast, your lover bolting up to try to wrestle the axe of his hands, and then you heard a sickening sound of a swing and a slush

♡ You were paralyzed from your spot on the ground, your mouth only parted but shaking as if you’ve been splashed with freezing water. Your eyes wide open as if you had no eyelids, your waterlines overflowing like pitchers, never ceasing the ongoing streams of tears down your cheeks. Your fingers were clutching onto the hair closest to your scalp

♡ You were frozen in absolute terror and traumatizing grief. Watching him hack the one you were going to run away with apart from their stomach, crimson blood and entrails spilling out like cutting open an egg sack

♡ He chopped away until their torso was mutilated and their body was now in two. He took heaving breaths as he ran a hand through his hair to smooth out the locks that fell in his face

♡ He turned to you with that Cheshire grin and eyes that were the embodiment of a danger sign, fresh beads of blood vaguely dripping down his long face. His expensive clothes were stained with splatters of blood. Their blood

“Happy Purge, my dear.”

♡ And then he intended to do exactly what he had been fantasizing about for the past months. To fuck you right on that ground, right next to your bloodily mangled ex lover

♡ And that’s exactly what he did. Unbuckling his pants as he stalked toward you with strides and a taunting smile. You whimpered with terribly shaky sobs as you tried to scramble away backwards while still on the ground

♡ He grabbed your ankle and tugged you closer to him, lunging down at you to forcibly pry open your thighs and force his arousal into you

♡ After the deed was done and he buckled his pants back up, he hurdled your torso up to make your red puffy, exhausted eyes look into his excitedly dilated ones

“Our games have been much fun, but I think it’s now time for you to come home.”

[callofdooty69]

thought of this idea and wanted to share╰(*´︶`*)╯♡

MAJOR CW !!: 🪦🕊️ do not eat, daddy issues, implied abuse (not between reader and ghost !!), fluff, angst, death, PTSD, panic attacks, anxiety, talk of alcohol, guilt, grief, profanity, usage of y/n, f!reader, attachment issues, abandonment issues, not proof read, super long post (PLEASE let me know if there are any warnings/tags i missed !!!)

in NO way shape or form am i trying to glamorize daddy issues/the topics in this. i am incredibly sorry if it’s taken that way because that is most certainly not my intention. if i’ve offended anyone by writing this than PLEASE let me know. i want to keep everyone safe, and don’t forget to take care of yourself. my anons and messages are always open if you need help or someone to talk to ♡

(this is inspired by daddy issues - the neighborhood if you couldn’t tell)

i know that you got daddy issues ☆♪

ghost x y/n

****

it’s not fair.

why, of all people, did this have to happen to you? you did nothing to deserve this. you always heard stories of abuse survivors that came from toxic households, but you never thought it would happen to you. you would never, under any circumstances, want or allow this to happen to anyone else. so why did no one help you? you relied on the people you loved and trusted, but they did nothing to stop it from happening.

living in an abusive environment was never supposed to become your life. coming from a happy family with a loving mother and father was your norm, and you wouldn’t have had it any other way. until it happened. until the event that sparked the rest of your life’s struggles occurred on a random thursday.

when you were fifteen, your mother passed away. you were the one that picked up the phone that night. you were the one that asked her to go to the stupid school fair and pick up your missing assignments because you were sick and couldn’t go to your classes. hell became your life the minute you heard the news. that a drunk driver ran into her.

she was dead on impact.

the guilt haunted you. sitting at the funeral, sobbing over her casket, you couldn’t help but think that this was your fault. it shouldn’t have been her.

you couldn’t even count on your fingers the amount of days you missed from school. you almost got held back if it weren’t for your previous grades and attendance record. you went weeks without showering, and when you did you just sat on the floor, letting the hot water pellets hit your back until it was red and almost bleeding. you could barely eat, let alone sleep. you couldn’t remember the last time you slept comfortably, nightmares consuming your brain every night.

your father coped through alcohol. he didn’t know any other way, going to the bar was the only time when he could escape reality, even for just one moment.

your birthday was two months before it happened. you wanted to start driving as soon as you could and got your permit right away. that definitely came in clutch when you had to pick up your dad at least three times a week, one of your family friends calling and saying he was wasted again. the abuse started shortly after, going from yelling to genuine physical pain.

you bolted from your house as soon as you turned eighteen, driving as far as you could to escape the home that brought you gallons of tears and misery. you got a job soon after leaving, starting as a fast food worker to waiting tables at local restaurants. at one point, you had to pick up four jobs to just pay for basic materials to sleep in your car.

after a few years, you were diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder. you weren’t surprised, somehow relieved that you got it off your chest and just talked to someone. medication flowed through your veins shortly afterwards, easing the pain and guilt just enough to live.

you were doing well for yourself in your early twenties, renting a decent sized apartment and working as a bartender for a big restaurant in the city. even with the trauma from the alcohol addiction your father developed, you were strangely comfortable around it. anytime a conflict would arise, your coworkers would handle it, vaguely knowing your experience with violence and confrontation.

you lost contact with everyone from your old life; your deadbeat father, the “friends” that did nothing to support you, the councilors that couldn’t take the fucking hint. everyone.

then you met simon. he came in one night with his colleagues, celebrating for some kind of special occasion. a few of them came up and ordered drinks, but simon only sat down and stayed silent. it’s like he couldn’t take his eyes off of you. it was weird, but not in a bad way.

as he came to the restaurant more often, you two sparked up conversations when he sat down at the bar. starting with small talk here and there to discussing random bullshit for hours on end. he knew you had to do your job, so he let you serve the other customers of course. it was strange to him, how he could get so comfortable with someone so fast. but you seemed different. you were trustworthy and safe. a security blanket he didn’t have growing up.

you eventually got into a relationship with him, finally feeling happy. your nightmares and guilt still remained in your thoughts, images and flashbacks of what caused you internal and external wounds that you didn’t think could heal controlling your mind. you were hesitant in opening up to him, as was he. but you confided in one another, slowly opening up the gates you both spent years building. you went to him when you needed him, and he did the same to you. you learned everything about each other, learning your pasts and showing vulnerable scars you didn’t think you’d have anyone to share them with. he’s home. your each other’s safe haven.

****

after a long shift at work with no sleep, you went home to find simon not there. he was usually off of work by now and should have been back for at least an hour. you immediately thought of the worst case scenario, thinking he was in trouble or that something happened. you panicked, unsure of what to do, calling and texting him to no avail.

you paced around the apartment you two now shared, your breathing getting harder and more difficult and seeing fuzzy spots in your vision. you sat down on your floor, knees pulled into your chest and hands covering your ears, trying to drown out the hallucinations and flashbacks of trauma. nothing seemed to be working, you gave up on calling simon after the seventeenth dial of his number.

it felt like your skin was on fire, uncontrollably sobbing and hyperventilating. you didn’t know what you were going to do, all you knew was that you needed simon. you didn’t know what you would do without him in your life, he was all you had.

you were so caught up in the swirling emotions and thoughts going in and out of your head that you didn’t hear the door open, boots hitting the floor and keys jingling as they hit the marble counter. when simon turned the corner and walked into the dining room, he didn’t hear you or see you anywhere. he expected to walk in and see you eating dinner, binge watching a show like you always did. but you weren’t.

he called your name, looking for you. “y/n? are ya’ here, love?” that was when he heard faint crying coming from the living room. he rushed to the noise, only to find you breaking down on the floor. he ran towards you, sliding right in front of you and frantically looking around.

he knew in these moments it was difficult to see what you were comfortable with. from touching you and hugging to giving you space, he wasn’t sure what you needed in the moment. based off the fact that this was probably the worst panic attack he had ever seen you have, he knew you definitely didn’t need space.

he lightly touched your arm, pulling back when you jumped. simon reached for your hand guiding it away from your face for you to see him. that he was there. he was home, and safe. you looked up, terrified of what you might see. that your father was in front of you, or watching your young self pick up the phone. but when you saw simon, sitting across from you and worry on his face, you clung onto him like he was water and you were dying of thirst.

he held you tight, cradling your head and pulling you into his lap to make it more comfortable for the both of you. he swayed softly, rubbing circles on your back as you sobbed into his arms and softly whispering reassuring words in your ear.

when your breathing slowed and your sobs gradually wore down, he gently lifted your face from his chest and saw your bloodshot eyes and mascara running down your cheeks, the dried tears forming marks through you face and the wet spots on your shirt from where you were crying. it broke his heart to see you like this. to see his baby girl like this.

he moved the hand on the back of your head to rub your cheek, softly wiping away the makeup that stuck to your skin. he kissed you on your forehead, then your temple, and all down your face until he gently kissed your lips, reminding you that he was safe. that you were safe. that everything was going to be okay. with your face close, he whispered “what happened, love?”

you told him how worried you were. how you thought he was in danger, that you tried calling and messaging him but he wasn’t answering. “i’m so sorry baby girl, my phone died. i was just on my way to the store to pick up some chocolate for you. but i’m home. we’re safe, everythin’ is gonna be okay.”

you cried again, leaning your forehead against his and just feeling him. touching him in these moments was all you wanted, to have reassurance that he was there. that he was real. he always managed to pull you away from your dark thoughts, to be there for you and give you want you needed.

you explained the flashbacks you were having, the voices you heard, all while simon rubbed his hands on your back and made random shapes with his fingers up and down your spine. he listened to you silently, letting you speak without interruption. when you finished, he planted kisses on your face, gently kissing your lips. it was intimate, but not in a sexual way. it was vulnerable intimacy, calming intimacy.

you laid there for a moment, hugging one another and holding each other tightly but softly. simon’s back was hurting and his legs were starting to cramp up, but he didn’t care. as long as could take care of his baby girl and hold her until she felt safe, he was okay.

“ya’ wanna go to bed love? i’ll grab some tissues to wipe off your mascara n’ tickle you all night if ya’ want.” he smiled as you giggled and nodded your head. lifting you up and carrying you to the bedroom, he slowly sat you down on the bed. “i’ll be right back, okay?” you smiled at him and whispered a small “okay” as he want to grab the makeup wipes.

he sat there for what felt like hours, rubbing your face and telling you all the things he loves about you. your hair, your smile, your cute nose, your contagious laugh, everything. when he was done, he kissed you and leaned his forehead against yours. “how ya’ feelin’ now? better?” you nodded and mumbled a small “yes,” saying “you know what would make this even better?” he hummed as he kissed your temple. “cuddling with you.”

“well, that is somethin’ that can definitely be arranged,” he smirked and rolled you around as you laughed. facing you towards him, he rubbed his calloused hand on your soft cheek, staring into your eyes like they held the galaxy in them.

your eyes fluttered, half lidded and a small smile on your face. simon placed one last kiss on your forehead, whispering “goodnight, love. everythin’ is gonna be alright.”

with that, all of your troubles washed away. the only thing that mattered in that moment was him, holding you like you were his world. because you were, you were each other’s safe space. you taught one another how to love, how to be vulnerable, how to learn that you were cared about.

things were going to be okay, as long as you had simon with you.

****

how we feeling about this? ngl i cried a bit while writing it. should i make more angst and/or fluff content on here? let me know, and (as always) feel free to leave anons/comments╰(*´︶`*)╯♡

- 𝓀.𝒿

[physalian]

Writing Weather Part 2: Thunderstorms and Hurricanes + Hurricane Safety PSA

It’s hurricane season y’all!! Long before I knew about Pride Month, June 1st was the day I celebrated as the start of hurricane season.

If you’ve been following this blog for a while, you may know that I’m a Floridian. I love thunderstorms. I think a lot of us in the south do, and today’s post is about writing thunderstorms and violent weather when they don’t serve as ominous rumblings and plot hurdles.

In other words, this post is about embracing violent weather, from personal experience.

—

When I was a kid, our house had a pool. Rule is that you can swim until you hear thunder, then you gotta leave the pool because even if the clouds aren’t over you, lightning can strike (advice that eludes so many in this state). I lived on the Gulf Coast, in a city that made a deal with the devil like, 90 years ago, and has never seen a direct hit from a hurricane since. They were always near-misses, but we still got plenty of tropical storms and suffered the storm surges and the endless winds and rains.

Thunderstorms, to me, are a comfort. They probably wouldn’t be if I’d lost my house or a relative to violent weather so I’m not here to necessarily romanticize deadly weather, but it is just weather. It’s not caused by a bad actor and it has no intent. It just is, acting indiscriminately. So in a way I am romanticizing it, I suppose.

I mean that they’re a comfort in that, at least when I lived on the coast, they always followed a pattern. Every day around 2-3pm, the afternoon rains would come for a few hours and leave. It never rained in the morning, but you’d always be caught coming home from school during the summer months.

I loved how the wind would shift and the trees would rustle in warning of the oncoming rain, the temperature would drop in a reprieve from Florida’s oppressive heat, and you really can smell it in the air—fanfic isn’t lying to you. Petrichor (the smell of rain) comes after. Before, it doesn’t necessarily smell metallic, like rust, but something… clean. It overpowers the smell of the cars and burnt rubber.

I loved staring up at the monumental black clouds and hearing the thunder roll in. I loved staring out over the pool and watching the rain come in sheets and wonder if this was the day the pool would overflow. I loved how thunder would shake the windows and the power would flicker and could always sleep to the rain slapping against the windows.

I still do, I just don’t have that house anymore. Rain, unless I have to be out in it, has always calmed me down. If I’m at work in an office and I’m stressed, and I see it’s about to storm outside or I hear it on the roof, I instantly relax while everyone else whines about getting wet.

When writing thunderstorms that aren’t meant to be thematically evil, consider the following:

They’re a reprieve from oppressive sun and heat

The sound of the rain on your roof, trees, windows, lawns, pool cages, cars, and patios are all different

Rain does not fall in a consistent pattern, it blows with the wind and can patter off or dump in a frenzy and it’s mesmerizing to listen to

The smell is cleansing and pure

Thunder loud enough to shake the windows can be thrilling, not just terrifying, and cats generally don’t react the same to it as dogs do

Sun showers (when it rains without clouds) still amaze and befuddle even the locals and they’re rare, but seeing sunlight bounce off raindrops is such a novel thing

Some other things that are genuinely terrifying:

Tourists who panic over a little rain and drive at 30mph with their hazards flashing are more dangerous than the locals driving 50 with just their regular lights on and everyone hates them—do not drive with your hazards on in the rain, the intermittent flashing in poor visibility is more disorienting than solid red lights. If you can’t drive in the rain, don’t drive in the rain.

Hydroplaning will give you a heart attack and it goes against your instinct to slam the breaks—when you do so, you lock up the tires and the whole car skids out of control. Doesn’t just happen in the rain, it happens when the roads are wet after the rain.

Being caught outside when there’s lightning close by is a religious experience. However loud you think it is, it’s louder, and you can taste it in the air. The anticipation of the thunder might be scarier than the actual thunder.

Thunderstorms come from one direction. If you’re looking east at the clear blue sky, sometimes you can have absolutely no idea that there’s literal black stormclouds looming in from the west and the dawning realization is incredible.

As far as hurricanes go, we have evacuated and rode them out before, so here’s my observations.

They’re emotionless forces of nature that level the earth indiscriminately, and there’s something peaceful in being humbled like that.

Every single one I’ve experienced has hit overnight and it doesn’t sound all that different from a thunderstorm.

The last one I experienced dropped the temperature in the middle of summer down to 50 degrees and it was still very windy after the fact.

The wind can sound very intimidating and you never know if it’s going to be carrying sticks, palm husks, trash, or branches.

When the power went out during the last storm, I woke up in the middle of the night to my ceiling fan off and the deadness of no electricity around me was creepy. It is dark when the power goes out and all the streetlights don’t run. When there’s cloud cover and no moon or stars, your visibility is shot to hell.

Rain comes in bands with sometimes several minutes in between, to the point where you can go outside in the middle of a hurricane and not get wet because there’s no rain.

People are incredibly dumb and will try to drive through the floodwaters like lemmings. Unless you drive a Jeep with the air intake on top, not even your fancy Big Dick Truck is safe, and cars can float and lose traction (hydroplane) in very little water—do not restart your car after it stalls. You’ll destroy your engine. Just wait for it to dry out.

People are incredibly dumb and will bring pool floats into the floodwaters and paddle around on the submerged streets. Not knowing or caring about the sewage that’s backed up from the drains, the trash polluting the water, or downed power lines electrifying it.

Hurricanes, when they’re not actively destroying things with newsworthy weather, are very boring to experience. There’s zero visibility beyond the grey haze and it just lasts for hours, usually without power, until it moves on. You can’t “see” the storm, it’s all one big cloudy mass from the ground.

During the last storm, Dasani water was consistently the only water left on the shelves. People are dumb.

During the last storm, people were panic buying gasoline and pumping it into trash bags as if they could somehow pour a trashbag of gas into their fuel tank at home. People are dumb.

With all that said, I like hurricane season because it’s exciting. It’s something to break up the monotony, something fresh to anticipate. Yes, it’s violent dangerous weather, I know, and one bad storm can destroy your life or livelihood, it should absolutely be taken seriously. I just like storms.

—

Hurricane Safety PSA!

Check your local flood zones to see if you live within one and if you can move your car to a secondary location to spare it from flooding, that you could still reach in an emergency, you might want to do that. During one storm, the local university opened up its parking garages to students with nowhere else to put their cars except the streets.

Stock up early on your essentials, there’s plenty of supply checklists. There will be bad weather this year. No need to wait until the news panics about it, and makes everyone else panic about it. Buy your batteries and lanterns and water storage solutions now. It’s not like they’ll expire even if you don’t have to use them within a year.

Stay informed, but you don’t have to watch the news every second of every hour. Storms rarely go on their predicted path. If you’re going to evacuate, do so early. You don’t want to be trapped on the highway when it hits.

If you can’t buy a generator due to finances or not owning your place of residence, look into non-electric methods of food prep (like camping gear) and heat management, like folding fans or battery-operated theme park fans.

Going outside and trying to drive once it’s over might leave you stuck or even injured, and rescue efforts will already be spread thin enough without having to add you to the mess. Unless you must leave, just stay where you are.

Stay safe everybody!

[moondirti]

Just wanna really love your writing and making learn new words like Dacryphilia.

Like you made sort like a mean ghost which is definitely new.

And do you have hc for ghost by any chance?

aw ur so kind! i'm definitely in the boat of people who think he wouldn't be the perfect partner. that man is fucked up beyond reason, he has some issues he'd need to get through here are some miscellaneous ghost headcanons warnings: claustrophobia, discussions of trauma (being buried alive, past abuse), mentioned intrusive thoughts, mentions of porn, manhandling, size kink, throat-fucking

SFW (kinda? these delve into trauma a bit)

I imagine he'd have pretty bad claustrophobia. It hasn't always been that way, not until he was buried alive. It's only afterwards that tight spaces become a quick trigger to either dissociation or pretty severe panic attacks. Heavy breathing, a stuttering heartbeat - to anyone on the outside, he'd look normal (if not a little too still). On the inside, though, Simon'd itching to break everything around him - broiling muscle, entirely too hot, just trying to dissuade the adrenaline he's never been taught to do anything but kill with.

He's a light sleeper. The rest of the men on the 141 knock out dead whenever they can, desperate to catch some precious moments of unconscious bliss. For him, that's a far off concept; even as a kid, Simon knew to keep one eye open at all times, just in case his dad was in one of his moods. As such, the Ghost is almost always assigned night-watch on drawn out missions. Not that he minds, he'd do whatever he can to ensure the security of his team.

He uses Clorox disinfecting wipes to remove his eye makeup. No, I will not elaborate ("It's convenient. And cheap.")

Exclusively drinks chamomile tea when he suffers a rough injury post-mission.

Cuts his own hair, but won't do it in front of a mirror. In fact, he doesn't really... look at mirrors at all. There are none at his safe house (save for the one in the bathroom, though he covered that up). No point in pondering over a dead man's face.

When he's not on the job, Simon just works out. Literally, that's all he does (until you come along, that is.) Part of it is to maintain his physique so, when he eventually gets the call for a new assignment, he isn't off his rhythm. A bigger, darker part of him knows that it's to keep his intrusive, often harmful, thoughts at bay. Either he's moving or doing something he'll sorely regret.

NSFW (for more, look to my GHOST NSFW ALPHABET)

Doesn't watch porn. It's genuinely irks him to unfathomable depths; the artificial lighting, the contrived acting, the fake moans. If he ever wants to get his rocks off, he'd resort to a brothel or a quick wank aided by his own fantasies.

He's big, and he knows it. I'm not talking dick size here - no. Simon is massive on every level, in every field. His shoulders are double the breadth of yours, he towers over you; hell, his hands could engulf yours easily should he wish to disarm you. And it's something he uses to his advantage in sex. Ghost won't ask you to move into certain positions - given he has the proper consent, he would just manhandle you to fit whatever he pleases. (More than once, you have to pitch in: I'm not that flexible, Lt or I can't fucking breathe with all your weight on me.)

A head pusher, unfortunately (or - y'know - not, depending on what you like.) Will get impatient and fuck your throat, so teasing him will land you with the consequences of tender tonsils and difficulty swallowing for the next few days.

Any chance he gets to smack your ass or thighs, he will take. Simon's rough; you can either take it or leave it.

[highwayorgantrade]

Sciamachy

Pairing: Reader x König

Summary: Sciamachy - (noun) Fighting with a shadow: A mock or futile combat.

Word Count: 1.6k

Warnings: In-detail descriptions of a panic attack, anxiety, brief mention of death, mentions of vomiting, cursing

A/N: k so nobody asked for this, BUT I see a lot of fics where the reader is carrying König emotionally, and I kind of wanted to see it flipped? idk. but also, again, be careful reading this if panic attacks are triggering for you. (on a personal note I only made this because I've been having hella panic attacks lately and it's kinda concerning bc I haven't had them since I was like,,, 14?? so yeah and i don't have health insurance so fuck the doctor we raw doggin)

You didn't know what was wrong. You had done everything you were supposed to. You drank water, you ate today, you hadn't even done your PT yet, and yet you still felt like you were about to die. Your vision had gone blurry, and the sound of your erratic heartbeat thrummed in your ears, only adding to your swimming mind. You lightly slapped your hands against your thighs, desperately trying to return feeling to your fingers. You ran through your day again.

You woke up, you drank water, you ate. You spoke to König in the hallway, and it was nice. He was nice. Just think about how he laughed at your jokes, or how he leaned into your touch when you playfully pushed him away after he made a comment about Graves. What if he hates you?

And you were right back into it again. You grimaced, and forced the thought from your mind, and you stood up from your desk to try to lie down. Your shaking legs screamed in denial, and you opted to crouch on the floor instead, resting your head on your arm as you gripped the back of your chair. A gentle knock echoed through your room, and you resigned yourself to being as quiet as possible, and hope that whoever was there would leave. The thought of having to speak to anybody right now was killing you, and a tightness made its way into your stomach again.

"(Y/N)?" König's voice was soft, and it almost pained you. If he came in to you like this, what would he think of you? Would he think you're not capable of functioning? He would think you're weird. He would never talk to you again. "Alejandro said you looked unwell, are you okay?" His voice cut through your thoughts, and your rocking vision made you feel seasick.

"I'm fine!" You choked out, a little too fast to be convincing. The wobble in your voice didn't help. You were met with silence, and you thanked every higher power that you weren't going to embarrass yourself. Today. The door opened, and König's figure crowded the frame. Ah, fuck. "I said I was fine." You mumbled, and tried to hide your tear stained face from his vision. His boots squeaked against the floor as he took in the sight in front of him, and shut the door behind him. You probably look crazy. You look like a cornered animal. You look pathetic. "I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize, you haven't done anything wrong." He sounded confused, and the thought of having to explain what was going on made you cringe.

"I just..." You hesitated, considering your options. "Yeah, I just don't feel well. Food poisoning."

König tilted his head, and you could tell he didn't believe you. Great. So now he thinks you're crazy and a liar.

"If you had food poisoning, so would everyone else. I know what is happening." He sat on the floor next to you, and looked down at the ground. "I'm sorry, but I'm not leaving until I know you're okay. Talking or not." His accent was laced with determination, and you sighed.

"Fine." You sat next to him, back against the wall, and you cursed at the tremors in your legs. "I don't know how it happened, I was perfectly fine. At first, I did think it was food poisoning, but I couldn't think straight and I could barely walk. My heart rate was insane and I genuinely thought I was dying."

"Did something cause it?" His concern warmed your heart, despite the circumstances.

"No, and that's what frustrating me so bad. Nothing happened." Your jaw clenched, and tears swam in your eyes. "I don't want this to be happening. I don't want to cry in front of you, I don't want you to think I'm crazy, I just want it to go away." You hissed through your teeth. König was silent, and you worried silently that your abrasiveness was pushing him away. You could hear your heartbeat in the quiet, and it tore at you.

"I would like to help, if you would let me." His voice was small, almost comical coming from such a large man. König's eyes darted between you and the floor, and his gloved hands fiddled with each other.

"Why would you do that?" Your relationship with König wasn't dirt-poor, but this was unexpected. The conversations between the two of you were mostly surface-level, no more than friendly banter. The deepest you got was König talking about Austria, and his family.

"Because I don't like seeing you struggle. It would not feel right to leave." His eyes were liquid, as he stared at you, searching for any response.

"Yeah, okay. Sure."

"Can you stand?"

You tested yourself by slowly rising, and immediately regretted it. Your mouth felt dry, and your head was spinning once more. Suddenly, you felt the floor disappear from under you, and you squeaked as König lifted you into his arms like it was nothing. For a second, all you could feel was his gear poking into your skin, and your mind began to race. Does König... Like you? No, he couldn't. Then again, who came to your room to check on you? Who volunteered to help take care of you? Maybe he was just being friendly.

He set you down on your bed, and you immediately tugged the covers over yourself to try and minimize your shaking.

"You know, I was on my way over here anyway." You smiled slightly to try and ease the tension in the room.

"And your efforts have been recognized. Gut gemacht." He flashed you a thumbs-up, and began walking towards your bathroom, unclipping his harness and gear on the way, setting them on your desk. You had never seen König without his gear on, you had always assumed it was somewhat of a comfort to him, like Ghost's mask. His long sleeve shirt stretched across his chest, and holy shit. You knew König was a big man, but this was simply unreasonable. Your shaking hadn't calmed, and the only feeling left was a pounding in your head, forcing you to shut your eyes. The only sound was the running sink in your bathroom, but you didn't bother to ask König what he was doing. It didn't really matter. As long as he stuck around.

"You still don't look well." He spoke when he left the sink, holding a damp washcloth. König crouched before you and placed it on your forehead, the headache slowly disappearing.

"I don't know what to tell you." You sighed and tried to press closer to the warmth in his hand, opening your eyes to look at him.

"Are you still cold?" His head tilted to the side.

"Yes, these blankets suck."

"That's no good. May you move?"

Your eyebrows came together in confusion, and you stared at him for a second.

"Move where?"

"Move over. Having a weight on you is very good for things like this, and I don't see another option." He began lifting the covers, and you placed your hand on his arm. When König made eye contact with you, you searched his face for any signs of bad intentions. The only thing you could find was concern and... maybe a bit of sadness? "Do you not want me to? I could just get you more blankets if you want."

"No, no, I want you to." Your fingers gripped him, and he stilled. "I don't want you to feel guilted into taking care of me."

König climbing into your bed would have been hilarious under any other circumstances. Your head pressed into his chest, and one of his hands rested on the top of your head, the other draped around your side.

"I do not feel guilted, I just want you to be okay. I know what you're going through. It's terrible."

So that was the sadness you saw earlier. You've seen König's nervous habits - fidgeting with his gloves, the frayed edges of his hood, but the dots never really connected until now. You felt the rise and fall of his chest with your own, and matched his breathing. König was surprisingly warm, and his frame wrapping around you was the closest to peace you're sure you've ever felt. Your shaking had completely ceased, and you felt his thumb lightly stroking your hair.

"Can I ask a question?" You mumbled into him, not daring to move your head away from his grasp.

"Yes, of course."

"Are you-" You hesitated, choosing your next words carefully. "Are you doing this to be friendly?"

You felt his breath stop for just a second, and you cursed yourself for even asking.

"I am doing this because the thought of leaving you hurt me. Leaving you while you're in pain." His response hung in the air, and his chest rose, like he was going to continue, but he never did. If there was any time, this would be it. You dug yourself impossibly closer to him, closer to his heartbeat.

"König, it's just that..." You inhaled deeply, using the last of your courage, and hoping it wouldn't fail you. "It's just that I really like being around you, and I like talking you, and I don't want you to think differently of me."

A sharp exhale left him, like you told a joke that wasn't quite funny enough to actually laugh at.

"While that is the best news I've ever heard, I would never think differently of you. I like you as you are, not who you think you should be."

His words sparked a deep ache in your chest, but it didn't hurt. It was the opposite - the ache was full of yearning and comfort. A feeling you couldn't quite pinpoint. Your eyes closed, fully intending on staying here as long as you possibly could. When König rest his head on top of yours, you knew what it was.

Safety. You were safe.

[rachelsfav-queer]

How would mommy Enid and daddy Yoko handle Wednesday getting overstimulated and having a complete meltdown? Poor thing is totally inconsolable :'(

Whew. Okay, this one is obviously very important to me, as I’ve said in a previous post. But, I didn’t really explain why so, let me do that now. Btw, this whole thing is gonna be a long one, so either strap in or hop out.

So, first off, I’m reading this ask as if Wednesday is autistic, along with the typical headcanon of her being a little that’s been present lately for VampRavenWolf. So, I’ll be basing it on my experience with autistic meltdowns, which for the most part has been extremely traumatic. I won’t get into any specific details about my experience for privacy reasons and I also don’t want to trigger myself by forcing myself to remember it all.

As for my story, there was a point in my life where I was in an extremely toxic environment that almost constantly produced meltdowns for me. Now, meltdowns are already a very traumatic experience for autistic people, but it was made 10x worse for me by the fact that I was surrounded by people who were only aiming to make it worse for me, hoping that I would eventually self-destruct, in whatever way that meant. They genuinely didn’t care how it happened, just as long as they could get rid of me. That is my story, it’s a very shortened and simplified version of it, with a whole lot of missing context, but it’s my story nonetheless.

I want to say that I still appreciate this ask. Because it gives me an opportunity to share my experience in hopes that by doing so, I can help at least someone. Let them know that they’re not alone like I thought I was for most of my life. That is how I heal the trauma that was dealt to me.

So, with that out of the way, let’s get to the actual ask!

TRIGGER WARNING: Descriptions of sensory overload and meltdown as experienced by an autistic character, light descriptions of self-harm in the form of harmful stimming, and descriptions of panic attacks. All below the cut.

So, for this scenario, I’m gonna set it in VampRavenWolf’s home. It’s already gonna be hard for our poor little raven, I don’t want to subject her to dealing with it in public. Secondly, we’re gonna say that something happens with one of the smoke detectors, some sort of malfunction that causes it to go off for no reason. This will be what causes everything to go down. Alright, this is everyone’s last chance, if anything in the warning above is triggering to you, PLEASE leave now and do not read. Remember, you are not forced to read this if any of the trigger warnings make you uncomfortable. Please, take care of yourselves.

Alright, we all good? Great.

The day already wasn’t going great. Wednesday had just gotten home from school half an hour ago, and her classmates all day had apparently made it their mission to annoy her. Not even Bianca was able to ward off everyone all day, considering she only shared half of her classes with the raven. And of course, both her girlfriends were either out dealing with work or handling family issues, of which they’d only gotten home from a few minutes before Wednesday did, only to have to retreat to their respective offices to finish even more work.

Spending so much time away from her Mommy and Daddy was always the most exhausting thing in the world for Wednesday and although she understood that they couldn’t just spend every second of every day right by her side, the fact still upset her greatly.

At the moment, Wednesday is sitting in the living room, watching TV with Raven on her lap, though she’s not paying very close attention (Raven isn’t either). The absence of her Mommy and Daddy weighs heavy on her mind, only made worse by the day she’s had. Wednesday’s just about to get up to find her Mommy in hopes that she’ll give her the attention that she so desperately needs when suddenly, the smoke alarm in the kitchen goes off. The loud, piercing noise sends Wednesday falling off the couch as her hands fly up to cover her ears. It takes a few seconds for her mind to catch up with her body, but when it does, Wednesday begins crying violently, coughing wildly and her breathing quickly becomes unsteady, short and with no rhythm.

Meanwhile, Enid and Yoko are alerted immediately by the noise and rush out to check everything out. Seeing no signs of a fire, they determine the alarm is just malfunctioning and pull it off the wall, taking out the batteries and silencing the screaming noise. Once the alarm is off, though, the quiet exposes the sound of their baby sobbing in the living room and once again the women are rushing to the sound. Their hearts break at the sight of Wednesday curled up on the floor with her hands clutching her head tightly. Enid walks forward first, lowering herself as slowly as possible, and speaks gently, “Hey, little raven. It’s Mommy. Can I come closer?”

The muffled sound of her Mommy’s voice catches the raven’s attention and she gravitates towards it, opening her eyes slightly and choking out, “L- loud, Mommy! Too loud!” Still overwhelmed by the stimulation, Wednesday’s brain is in desperate need of regulation and so instinctually her fists begin slamming into the sides of her head over and over and over and over and-

Thinking quickly, Enid gently pulls the seer's arms by her wrists and wraps them around her torso, allowing the girl to pound her fists into the wolf’s back, “Okay, okay baby. That’s it, let it out on Mommy. She can take it, you’re okay.” Enid continues to mutter reassurances over and over again while Yoko leaves for a moment to grab Wednesday’s noise-canceling headphones, returning the moment she finds them and carefully sets them on the raven’s ears.

Meanwhile, Wednesday’s sobbing only gets worse, her breathing getting shallower and her body getting weaker. Yoko and Enid are starting to get seriously worried, they look at each other with fear in their eyes and Yoko asks weakly, “What do we do?”

Enid looks back down at the girl in her arms, desperately trying to think of anything to bring their girlfriend out of this meltdown safely. Suddenly, she gets an idea. “We need to help her regulate herself. Here,” Enid breathes, offering the girl to Yoko, “Hold her, she prefers cold. I’ll go turn down the A/C and grab her weighted blanket. I’ll be right back.” While Enid does that, Yoko gets an idea of her own. She first shuffles back to lean against the couch, then, staying careful not to jostle the raven, Yoko does her best to unbutton as much of her shirt as she can and lays Wednesday’s head onto her exposed chest. Almost immediately, Wednesday’s breathing begins to slow, as do her tears. Yoko continues to whisper gentle words of praise and reassurance until Enid gets back. The werewolf covers the two with the black blanket and gets yet another idea. Stepping away from her girlfriends, Enid transforms into her wolf form and then lays her head gently against the seer’s back.

And with the combined weight of the blanket and the werewolf plus the chill of the vampire and the A/C blowing down on them all, Wednesday slowly starts coming back to herself. Eventually, her breathing is even again, and a few sniffles here and there are the only signs that she’d been crying. Petting her hair, Yoko speaks, “Hey there, baby bird. You back with us?”

Wednesday nods slowly, “Yes Daddy. Feel better.”

At the sound of her baby’s voice, Enid lifts her head and gently nudges Wednesday’s cheek with her snout, chuffing softly which makes the goth smile tiredly. Which in turn pleases her Mommy and Daddy, knowing their girl really was back with them.

“Get some sleep, baby bird. We’ll be right here for you. We have you always.”

End <3

[mykoreanlove]

DOPAMINE.

“Do you honestly believe this is love?”

“What?”

Hyunjin stared at you frantically.

“Do you” - he paused before emphasizing every word – “do you believe that this is love?”

His eyes were widened in rage, pupils dilated, breath held in cautiously. He watched you like prey, ready to attack any minute.

“What are you talking about? Of course, this is love. I love you Jinnie.”

“No. You don’t. You love what I do for you, that’s different.”

His tone cold as ice by now. You looked at him skeptically.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means that you don’t love me but use me. Has it ever occurred to you that I’m your personal drug dealer?”

You let out an exasperated sigh. You were used to his dramatic antics by now but judging by his tone of voice and stone-cold expression you were getting insecure where this was headed.

“My drug dealer? Enlighten me Hwang.”

“This between us is not a real connection. You use me to fill that giant void within yourself. I didn’t realize it at first but now I do. Hearing from me, worshiping you, loving you - that gets you off right?”

You were at a loss for words. Since you couldn’t get out a word you just looked at him, hoping that you would understand him better. Right in front of you wasn’t the guy you fell in love with, the one you spent the last couple of weeks laughing, kissing and goofing around with. Instead, there was a spiteful, raging guy who accused you of using him. You felt betrayed. You felt your face flood with anger, wanting to hurt him right back.

“You are so full of shit, honestly!”

“No, I’m not, I’m right. You use me for validation. You use me so you can feel good and desired and loved because you can’t feel like that on your own. You use me but don’t love me - it’s all about what I can do for you. Do you know how that makes me feel?”

For the first time you noticed the sad expression in his eyes. He left you speechless. Was he right? It was true that you felt very unfulfilled without him and got way happier ever since you met him. But was that wrong? One dreamy message could make your whole day, whereas no message would leave you ruined, crying all night fearing the worst. Was he right? Was this about you using him? Were your feelings fake? Did you even know what love was?

“Y/N, I can’t keep doing this. I can’t be responsible for your mood; I can’t be the one controlling your happiness. It's like you're my emotional slave, that's sick! Don’t you get that?”

You opened your mouth but failed to speak. Your mind was racing, preoccupied with too many questions.

“I like you; I really do. My feelings for you were genuine but feeling your clinginess, your desperation and need for me is the biggest turn off ever. I’m disgusted with your behavior.” He really meant it; it was written all over his face. He despised you. Tears started to form at the corner of your eyes.

“You never saw me for who I was, instead you turned me into some kind of god that you could worship. But listen, Y/N, I’ not some deity that you pray for – I am a man. A human being with flaws and needs that you didn’t care about because it’s all about your ego!”

Hyunjin basically spat out those last words, the hurt in his voice screamed at you.

“I”.. your voice broke at the attempt of speaking.. “I had no idea you felt that way.”

He observed you for a long time. You sunk your head as you couldn’t stand his piercing gaze on you. What used to elicit butterflies in your stomach turned into a graveyard for broken hearts.

“I really hope that you can heal.”

“What?”

You looked up from your lap, panic rushing through your veins. 

“I can do that; I can do that with you. You don’t have to leave me, Hyunjin please. We can work this out.”

You begged him to stay. Your teary eyes trying to convince him to give you another chance.

 “No, we can’t. But I hope you will find a way.” He turned his back on you.

“Hyunjin, no. I can get better. I can be better. Please, please don’t leave me!”

Your shaky hands grabbed his arm hoping he’d stay. He freed himself out of your tight grasp and looked at you with disgust. You felt him loathing you in every bone of your body.

“I hope you’re content with yourself. Since you made me your idol” .. he paused and looked at you one last time before turning around and leaving for good .. “I’ll have to leave you like a fan.”