#I’ve never worked a corporate job so idk how they work

[intjsimp]

Lol that moment when you see your daddy crush walking down the hallway…

[sillymercury]

“What Are You Doing?”

“I… Was Told There Was an Emergency...”

AzrielxReader

<3

Warnings: none other than the lack of proof reading :p

Word count: 5.5k

(meant to be a blurb lol ig idk how to do that)

Summary: Azriel’s shadows have decided that they found someone far more interesting to listen to.

Thank you @kayjayjwrites for this ask, I’ve had a lot of fun writing it. Sorry it came a little later than I said it would but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless.

<3

A yawn escaped Azriel as he stared down the papers on his desk. He was behind, three missions he put off documenting. He honestly wouldn’t have done it if Rhys wasn’t hounding him saying he wasn’t getting another job until he was caught up.

He didn’t hate his job, he didn’t particularly love it but he took pride in what he did for his court. What he did hate was the bureaucratic end of things, logging his missions in excruciating detail so they can be stored away on the off chance it might need revisited.

He had caught himself nodding off multiple times. The words would blur and his blinks would get slower and slower until his head hit the desk. His shadows, the pestering presence they were, were quick to wake him up.

Finish, finish this,

Keep working,

Sleep after.

At this point it was sheer frustration keeping him awake, weren’t his shadows meant to bend towards his will? The thought of snuffing out the fae light and climbing into bed with his hands over his ears was becoming more and more enticing as the night droned on. Azriels eyes began to close for the umpteenth time and just when he thought his shadows would give up they began swirling around him frantically. He almost groaned at their dramatics until their whispering bordered screaming.

Get up,

Quickly,

Y/n needs you,

Hurry, hurry.

The shadows all spoke over each other and their urgency had Azriel standing up so quick his chair hit the floor. His heart moved as frantically as his shadows at the thought of you. The thought of you hurt, the thought of you in danger, the thought of you scared and alone and needing him.

His feet matched the frenzy as they carried him to the shelf that held the truth teller, his shaking hands sheathed it. Azriel was a composed man, only cracking under severity; and you… you were severe. You had a way of moving him out of his dark safe corner and into the blinding light of day.

Your eyes could move him to tears, your body would make his hands shake, your laugh kicked open every door he used to keep others out. You were a parasite; infecting every part of him and making it your own.

Azriel was ready to punch a hole through his wall and fly around Prythian raining hellfire until he found you and made you safe again. Where? He thought, where is she?

Her house, his shadows answered dutifully before enveloping him and carrying him there. He was ready, ready to fight off whoever-whatever- was hurting you. Whether the demons were mental or corporeal, he would fight to his last breath. You were everything, everything he wanted, needed, everything he prayed for. You just didn’t know it yet, it hadn’t snapped for you. He didn’t care though, he would spend the next 500 years proving his devotion even if you never felt it.

Within seconds his shadows had carried him through space, into your living room. The scent of you was everywhere, gentle overtaking his olfactory sense and filling him with fierce determination.

“Y/n!” The called out as he surveyed the room, everything looked normal, well, for you. Granted things were strewn about, out of order, and placed haphazardly; but not in a way that was alarming.

“Y/n,” he called again and was met with silence, he moved through your house swiftly and silently. He kept his eyes peeled for any sign of you.

Bedroom, his shadows told him. At the end of the hall he pushed open the lightly cracked door and slipped into your room. The room held no sight of you, just thick with your scent. The only noise was light shuffling from your adjourned bathroom. He took a silent step towards the door and in that moment you came out. He froze.

You were fine, you were more than fine. His wide eyes met yours and he tried his best to keep them there but they seemed to have a mind of their own. They trailed to your wet hair that was dripping onto your shoulders. His pesky eyes followed the water from your bare shoulder, to the contour of your breast, to your exposed tummy, around its pretty jewelry, down your hips, before disappearing behind your thighs. Your shocked expression matched his as you stood in only a bra and underwear, clearly fresh out of the shower. He felt the heat climb his face, he wanted to run, hide, avoid any implications. But for some unholy reason he stood, petrified, staring at you half naked-absolutely divine- body.

“What are you doing?” You asked once you finally got over the initial shock of seeing him in your room. Anyone else would’ve gotten a more visceral reaction but this was Az, the only one you wanted to see you like this. You also didn’t mind the way his eyes tracked every curve and dip of your body. You bit your lip to hide your smirk and that snapped his eyes back to your face.

“I… was told there was an emergency…” he shifted on his feet as his eyes darted back and forth from your body to your face.

You bit back your laugh, the feared shadowsinger, spymaster of the night was red faced and nervous. Definitely a sight to behold. “Who told you that?” You crossed your arms under your chest, lightly pushing up the twins. Something he didn’t miss, and you didn’t miss the deeper red his face took. His mouth opened and closed like a fish and he seemed to have lost whatever small grip was keeping his shadows in place. They slithered across the floor before circling up your legs, over your bum, around your hips and waist. You giggled at the sensation, seemingly exciting by the shadows as they made their way up, examining the lace that covered your breast. Their boldness elicited a gasp, one that snapped Azriel out of his trance.

“I am so sorry- I don’t- I should go,” his words were quick as he fumbled over himself. He dragged the shadows away and before you could speak, tell him to stay, he was gone and so were his shadows.

You couldn’t help but laugh, a full belly laugh as you walked towards your bed with a little extra pep. The only proof of the encounter being the goosebumps on your skin and the light smell of his arousal in your room.

Azriel materialized in his room and stood there for- he doesn’t know how long he stood there. Trying to come to terms with what he saw, what you saw he saw, and how horrible his shadows had behaved. “What… was that?” He whispered into the darkness of his room, still frozen in place. He was horrified, completely embarrassed, and confused. His shadows said you needed him, led him there for seemingly no reason. His shadows hadn’t defied him since he was a child, scared of his own power.

The shadows didn’t answer him, just danced around seemingly pleased with themselves. He wanted to go back and apologize but he was too mortified, convinced he wouldn’t be able to face you for a hundred years. He crawled under his covers and cursed his shadows, not even brave enough to deal with the tightness that grew in his pants.

-

It was hot, Velaris was seemingly boiling. That didn’t slow down the Illyrians, rain or shine they would train. Azriel had taken off his shirt and the sweat flowed through the contours of his muscles, covering his body in a sticky dew. He had just finished sparring with Cass and was wiping the sweat from his brow when his shadows spoke.

Emergency,

Something’s wrong at the south pond,

Get there quickly,

“Cass!” He hollered to his brother, as he grabbed a two swords. He threw one to Cass who caught it coolly. “We’re needed,”. Was all he offered before taking to the skies. Cass followed closely behind as they swooped from the house of wind towards the small forest that was on the south side of Velaris. The boys were already warmed up, ready to face whatever emergency faced them. They circled the sky around the pond and didn’t see any immediate threat, it just looked like some fae had met up for a swim.

Cass landed first and Azriel was right behind him. They surveyed the scene and just as they saw in the sky; nothing was wrong. The only thing they saw were females, everywhere.

“Alright brother,” Cass clapped Azriel on the back with a shit-eating grin. “Not what I expected but you’re right, they do need us.” He tossed his sword on the ground and started making his way to the bank, at least three females came to greet him; he engaged happily.

Azriel wasn’t yet convinced. Still dragging his eyes all across the domain, trying to spot what called his shadows here. His keen eyes took in everything, every person, until they landed on you.

Walking out of the water you looked like a fae from those raunchy magazines Cass used to steal as a boy. An all too small bikini clung to your wet body as you made your way out of the water, toward him. Three tiny pink triangles covered the important parts but the rest was just string, leaving nearly your whole body one display. He watched your hips sway, your wet hair clinging to your face and shoulders, the glittering belly ring, and the small smirk on your face as you too looked him up and down.

“You’re not going to use that are you?” You stopped in front of him, referencing to the sword he gripped with all his strength. He watched as you flipped your hair to one side and began ringing it out. The urge to kiss the sensitive spot between your neck was so intense his lips were quivering.

“No I…” he once again was at a loss for words, “I just brought it.” Lame. He was so lame he wanted to die.

You just giggled, the sound like a cool wave over his hot body. You reached over and gently wrapped your hands around his, pulling it from his hands and discarding it with Cassian’s. His eyes were trained on your face the entire time, you weren’t put off by his scars. Your face wasn’t marred with disgust or pity, just blissful normalcy.

You smiled up at him, “Are you going to join us?” He just nodded, not even considering no as an option. Cass already discarded his pants and boots and was loudly entertaining most of the ladies. But Azriels eyes were trained on your back… side, as he followed you to the water like a puppy. It wasn’t until his shoes were sopping wet at the bank that he realized he should probably strip as well.

When he was down to only his boxers and he tossed his pants and boots back to safety. The way you shamelessly admired him gave him his confidence back.

The two of you spent hours, swimming circles around each other, splashing, pushing the other under. He would lift you high out of the water so you could do flips back in. He would put you on his shoulders so you could take turns playing chicken with whatever female climbed onto his brother; he was proud to say you won every time. He followed you all the way to the deep end and despite his distaste for swimming he didn’t want to be anywhere else in the world as you clung to him, telling stories of your childhood in this exact watering hole. He could’ve stayed in the water forever, content to grow wrinkles all over if it meant you would stay close to him.

When the sun had threatened to leave the sky was when you had decided to get out. Your friends were going to a diner to finish of the night with milkshakes and gossip, you offered and invitation and despite being willing to follow you wherever you asked he had to decline. Rhys had tried to contact him multiple times, all of which he ignored. Based on the aggravated tone, Cass was doing the same. He knew staying away any longer would only cause an angry high lord scaling the streets in search of them.

Cass begrudgingly followed his lead, after kissing more than an appropriate amount of females on the cheek, bidding them all goodnight with the promise of seeing them again.

The boys flew home, landing in front of the town house. Before facing the wrath of their in the dark brother Cassian stopped in front of Azriel and grabbed both of his shoulders. With a wide smile he leaned in and placed a sloppy kiss on his cheek, before he could react Cass had kissed the other one.

“I love you brother,” he said with so much sincerity Az rolled his eyes. “I’ll handle business with you any day,” Cass pulled him into a bone crushing hug that Azriel had to use all of his force to get out of. He wiped the wet spots on his cheeks before shaking his head. He pushed past his babbling brother and made his way to the front door. Cass walked in with an arrogant swagger, one that stayed with him for the next week and a half.

-

The frustration didn’t show on Azriels face, nothing showed on Azriels face, as he trailed diligently behind Mor. Yet another shopping spree he was dragged into with the role of being ‘designated bag carrier.’ He never complained even though he’d rather be doing anything else right now, he didn’t show it. Even though he knew Mor knew that, and even though Mor knew that he knew that she knew that.

“Thank you again Azriel, I swear I’m almost done.” He nodded along, knowing that she was almost done 2 hours ago.

It seemed everyone in the city was out shopping, the streets of the retail sector were jam packed. It was likely that most people were, with a new season approaching all of the soon to be out-of-season styles were on sale. Something that motivated Mor, giving her a much needed excuse for retail therapy.

Azriel kept his wings tucked in tight as he shimmied through bodies crowding the cobble stone. “Okay so we’ll stop at Loraine’s, she has the best Jewelry. Then we’ll have to hit up that new little boutique, hopefully all of the good shoes aren’t gone already. Oh! And we absolutely have to visit Anderson on the end of the block, he’ll kill me if I don’t come check out his sun dresses. He always holds the red ones back for me. Honestly my closet…” Mor continued to ramble on about each and every store that demanded she visit but Azriel tuned it out. Leaving behind the notion of soon as the math of how long he would be out continued to produce a higher and higher number.

Without trying to think about it, he followed Mor into the little jewelry shop that she just spoke about. The shelves were covered in glittering jewels that sat on display behind glass. Nothing caught his interest, he didn’t care for flashy add ons, so he just made his way to one of the plush chairs in the corner. He set the plethora of bags down as he slunk back, enjoying a moment of rest as he knew Mor would be taking her time. His eyes closed but his reaction was short lived when his shadows began of informing him of a situation.

Across the street,

Someone’s not supposed to be here,

Go quickly.

He cracked an eye open and glanced out the window. The streets looked normal enough and he couldn’t hear any commotion over the bustling. Someone’s not supposed to be here? He would have been notified earlier if anyone got through the Velarian wards. He should’ve been notified earlier. He stood up slowly, assessing the street. Just because everything looked normal doesn’t mean it was.

He abandoned Mor’s bags and moved towards the door, when he pushed it open he never stepped out. Instead a shadow slipped across the ground, going unnoticed on the busy street.

He slid under the crack of the door and after clocking his surroundings he determined he was in a woman’s nightwear store. There were night gowns and matching pj’s covering mannequins and racks in the front.

Back,

Behind the curtain.

His shadows informed him of the intruders location and he slid in the corner where the wall met the floor, making his way to the back. The store was relatively empty, only a few patrons; a couple, an older fae, and a young male that looked at the stock like a critic.

Slipping behind the curtain that separated the front from the back he was faced with three small dressing rooms. He materialized and placed his hand on the truth teller that rested on his upper thigh. It was quiet back here, the only shuffling came from one of the dressing rooms. He heard a click and a voice; your voice.

“Mav!” You called out as you stepped out of one of the rooms. He moved, trying to run, trying to get out of there. Realization of the stunt his shadows had once again pulled, dawned on him but it was too late.

“Az?” You questioned. The nickname had him stopping before he could escape sight. His heart beat like a war dum against his chest and he felt his hand dampen on the curtain he was holding. For a moment he contemplated winnowing away, saving the embarrassment for another day.

His turn was slow and painful, when his back was against the curtain he looked down and regretted not running. You were clad in a lace nightgown that barley covered the curve of your bottom. The top was push up, covered in shined lace while the bottom was layers of baby pink sheer material. If he looked closely he could see the diamond jewelry on your belly button and your matching shiney underwear shining through. He attempted to swallow the lump that was sitting in the middle of his throat but it didn’t budge so all he managed was a straggled gasp.

A devilish smirk, the one that tempted his knees, took control of your lips. You leaned against the stall, popping your hip out with a hand resting lazily on top. You tilted your head and looked him up and down, “Don’t tell me there’s another emergency.”

His eyes almost jumped out of his head and pink brushed from his neck, to his ears, and all across his face. You knew, of course you knew, you were the one he was barging in on. He tried to speak but that was impossible, seeing you in something so intimate, something he’d only dreamed of seeing you in, he could only shake his head back and forth.

“Okay so I also found that in this pretty blue-oh!” The young male from earlier had pushed through the curtain and was standing rigid as he looked between you and Az. He was only stuck for a few seconds before a smile that matched yours in mischief graced his face. “What do you think shadowsinger?”

His sultry voice took Azriel back, and the heat in his face doubled, “I- it’s,” he cleared his throat as he looked at the tiny blue dress. Cobalt blue, it was the same hue of his siphons. The thought of seeing you in that…

“It’s beautiful,” you finished for him. You pushed off the stall and moseyed over, closer to Az’s still frozen stature. “I absolutely love this color!” You took the thin fabric in delicate hands, feeling the material. “I’ll put it on,” you took the small thing from your friend before looking Az directly in the eye. You just smiled before walking back into the changing closet.

Azriel let out a low breath before bringing his hands up to drag the course of his face. This had to stop happening.

A snicker came from next to him and he looked over to, Mav, who had his arms crossed over his chest and a knowing glint in his eye. Az briefly wondered if you had told your friend about his little appearing act. The way Mav was looking at him, he’s sure you did. “You gonna stay for the final result?”

Yes, yes, yes! His shadows chanted in his ear and he shook his head roughly to keep them out of his ear.

“No, I gotta- busy!” He practically ripped the curtain with the force he pulled it open. He cleared the store in a few long strides before pushing himself free. In his daze he ended up colliding with a smaller frame.

“Az!” Mor yelled, straightening the dress he rumpled. “What are you-“ he eyes narrowed before glancing behind him, Jaim’s Nightwear was painted in delicate cursive on the windows. “What the hell were you doing?”

Az glanced once back at the shop before at Mor, “Embarrassing myself apparently.”

Mor clocked his flush demeanor before looking back at the window. She squinted her eyes again, tilting her head. She pondered doing some shopping at Jaim’s and Azriel’s speedy ‘no!’ only intrigued her more. She moved to step around him but Azriel’s hands clapped on her shoulder, turning her around and directing her back to the jewelry store across the street.

-

A low hum left the shadowsinger as he climbed up the ramp of the library. He scanned the isles looking for ‘Fiction- Rac.’

He had attended Nesta’s monthly book club with the priestesses, a guilty pleasure only the attendees knew of. He had offered to carry the books back to their rightful spot, an offer he was now regretting. The isle that held the thick fiction books had evaded him, and he had been walking back and forth for a half an hour now. A few priestesses had offered their help but he insisted they return to their work, that he could do it himself.

He decided to try the ‘Rab’ isle, keeping his wings tucked as his presence filled the narrow space. He almost cursed, debating throwing the books on a rack and letting someone else deal with it. His eye had just caught the beginning of ‘Rac’ when his attention was diverted.

You are needed,

Go now,

He ignored the shadows, pushing on towards his destination. He wasn’t about to fall into their trap again, he didn’t think he could handle another awkward encounter.

She needs help,

She needs you.

They insisted but Az just shook his head, looking for the correct author. “I’m not doing this again,” he whispered back. His luck she’d probably be in that little blue get-up and she’d have to clean up the puddle he’d melt into.

Go now!

Or regret it!

She will get hurt!

He groaned as he leaned his forehead against the cool self. The thought of you being hurt, even though he doubted you were, trumped his need to protect his ego. With his shadows whispering in his ear he had to see you were safe, and when you inevitably were he would come back and finish his job.

“Fine, but if she’s in her underwear again-“ the shadows cut him of chanting go, go, go! “Okay,” he was defeated, a slave to the torture his shadows were hell bent on putting him through. “Where is she?”

Home,

Her house.

“Good gods- I’m winnowing outside and if she’s half naked I swear I’m never listening to-“ he was cut off again by his shadows. This time it wasn’t a whisper, the seemed to bellow, angry at his reluctance.

Now!

With the urgency from his shadows he dropped the books on the floor, leaving them for whichever poor priestess found them first. After moving through space in the blink of an eye he landed on your front porch. He lifted his hand to knock, he wasn’t going to barge in and show up in the middle of your room uninvited- again.

Before his fist could connect with the door the sound of you screaming had him stumbling back. “Get out!” Followed by breaking glass. Your voice was shrill and panicked and it lit a protective fire inside of him.

He blinked again and he was inside your living room. Shadows were let loose across the space, crawling from his body to every corner of the room. You were there and so was a clearly unwanted presence. You were pressed against your mantle, gripping a vase like a weapon while the male staggered a few feet in front of you. He didn’t need his shadows to inform him about the alcohol that reeked from the man. His blood boiled and metaphorical claws were bared, he was going to kill the male that intruded on your space.

“Crazy bitch! Where’d you go?” The man slurred out as he waved his hands wildly in front of him; desperate to clear the opaque mist and find his target.

The name you didn’t deserve to be called had snapped Azriel into action, like a tensed spring he shot in front of the man. “I’m right here,” he whispered, mere inches from the drunk. The man made a shocked sound, startled by the new voice and its proximity. The man threw a pathetic punch, a low chuckle left Az’s lips as he caught the fist.

With a skilled spin he was behind the man, pressing his wrist between his shoulder blades in an uncomfortable contortion.

A straggled scream left his throat and Azriel cleared his shadows, wanting a proper look at who he was dealing with. The male was nothing special, skinny and pale with dull brown hair. His blue eyes looked hollow and glassy and the stench of alcohol absolutely assaulted Azriel’s senses at the proximity.

“You’d be wise not to try that again,” Azriel’s dark voice met the shell of the man’s ear. His eyes flickered up to you, wide eyed watching the scene play out. “What are you doing here?”

“Let me go! I just want to talk to her!” Azriel pressed his wrist higher and the male made a noice between a grunt and a scream. “Please!”

Tightening the grip on his wrist Azriel let out a low growl, this male was already too close, Azriel was never going to give him a chance to get closer. “I don’t think she wants to speak to you,” his low voice was eerily calm, steady as he leaned down to speak in the stranger’s ear. “Do you, Y/n?” His eyes moved back to you and watched as you viciously shook your head back and forth. “Well,” the grin in his voice was audible, “that settles that.”

Azriel gave the man a hard shove to which his shadows caught him, they carried him off to somewhere Azriel could deal him later. His eyes scanned the room once more, checking for any lingering danger, any hint of another threat. His shadows scowered the rest of the house, closing and locking any window that could be used as an entry point.

“Az,” you breathed before dropping the vase. The tough glass didn’t shatter, instead it rolled away while you ran. Within seconds your arms were around his neck with your face buried in his chest. He relished in your closeness, arms circling your waist with his nose finding your shoulder. A greedy breath reminded him you were safe, in his arms where no bastard would touch or even talk to you unwarranted. “I’m so glad that worked, I was worried that it wouldn’t, that I pushed to hard with it when you took awhile to get here but-“

“Wait what? What’re you talking about?” He pulled back to look down at you. Confusion had knitted his brows together and pushed his head onto an axis.

“Oh- I well… nothing,” you pulled back and turned away, red dusting your cheeks as your eyes fought to hide from him. Usually he was the flustered one, looking like boy whose hand had been caught in a cookie jar. But the roles were now reversed, you looked like you were dodging trouble of your own creation.

Azriel grabbed your wrist, delicately, turning you around to face him. He caught your chin in his other hand and angled your head to face him, “What did you want to work?”

You turned your eyes down but he just lifted your chin higher, your pink cheeks turned positively rosey and you shook your head. “Fine,” you breathed before pulling away from him completely. He watched as you moved around the glass you had previously thrown and made your way to the couch. “Well,” you started, drawing lines in your the cushion to keep from looking at him, “remember when we met? At that monster exchange?”

He nodded, “Of course.” He would never forget, catching a dove in an underground tavern full of monsters and the beats they aimed to sell. He had been tracking the traveling convention all across the night court, attempting to find who was running the trade. It was a highly illegal exchange and when he’d found you, you had begged to not be arrested, claiming curiosity brought you there. He let you go, told you to run while he dealt with the others.

“Well when I got home I noticed I had a little friend,” she held her hand out and to Azriel’s surprise, a shadow fell into her hand. It had danced out of its hiding spot in your hair and looped around your fingers, stuck to you like it was your own to wield. He just stared, mouth agape, to caught in his own shock to respond. “I started talking to it, they’re great listeners.” A giggle fell from your lips as you wiggled your fingers and the shadow weaved and bobbed through your digits. “And for some reason whenever I spoke of you, of wanting to see you, you would show up.”

You looked up tentatively, worried to see an angry Azriel. Instead you were faced with pure shock, he looked so lost so you felt the need to go on.

“I didn’t know it would tell you to come, not originally. Then after that first night, your shadows told you it was an emergency and I started taking advantage of that. Telling it to fetch you so I could see you again.” You looked back down, clearly ashamed of your admission. You couldn’t see the smirk that was growing on Azriel’s lips. “I know you’re busy, and-and it’s unfair to pull you away from your work like that. I shouldn’t have used your own shadow against you- gods- I’m so sorry. I’ll never-“

Your words were caught off by a laugh, a loud belly laugh. Azriel was practically doubled over. The realization had his face crinkled and his hands gripping his stomach as he gasped for air. You laughed nervously, adding him, “Your not mad?”

He stood up, still laughing but controlling it. His dimples were on full display and you melted a little, feeling ease wash over you.

“No, no I’m not mad,” he moved for the couch, “I’m glad I finally found out why my shadows are so willing to lie to me. It’s because they’re in kahoots with you.” He sat down and took your hand, your full smile matched his, “Never apologize for wanting to see me, I’ll come whenever you call.”

You blushed and nodded, laughing some more yourself. You stuck out the hand that held his shadow, “Here. You can have this back.”

He just shook his head with a smile, pushing your hand back. “Keep it, you can use it to get ahold of me.”

You looked back to him, the look on his face was one of pure ease, happiness and bliss, you loved to see it. You two sat there smiling at each other like idiots when you felt a tug on your heart. The tug got stronger and stronger until it snapped. With a gasp you threw your hand over your heart, as if the bond was tangible, something you could grab with your hands.

“It’s you,” you whisper leaning in slightly.

“And it’s you,” he whispered back after following you in.

You felt a tug on the bond, like he was pulling you towards him, you tugged back with a smile. You had always wanted to find your mate and you wouldn’t admit it just yet but you had wanted it to be Azriel since you met him underground.

You threw your head back, it was your turn to belly laugh. “Good gods! No wonder you always came running!”

He narrowed his eyes and let out a playful growl before pulling you into his arms. You giggled and wrapped your arms around him, looking at him in his eyes. “I’m glad it’s you,” was all you said before offering him a peck on the lips.

He beamed back, “I’m also glad it’s you.” He pulled you down for another kiss which you returned passionately.

“Soo..” you drawled pulling back, “Would you like to see that little blue number?” He responded with a low growl and nip at your ear. You laughed at his answer before jumping off the couch, you grabbed his hand and he happily let you drag him to your room.

A/N: My first request🥰🥰🥰 this was so fun, literally send more I live live live for them. I rlly hope my requester enjoyed this 🥲

Also I’m still working on ‘I’m Not Crazy, She is!’ Pt. 2 but it’s gonna be a long one so give me some time with that🙏🏽

As always if you made it this far I LOVE YOUUU<3<3 thank you so much for reading yall I love doing these.

Masterlist

Tag list: @gorlillaglue25

[sexlapis]

just thinking abt corporate!reader & her goth!wife mikasa :3

female!reader, short fic, flirty coworkers, fluff, crack, wife!mikasa

wc: idk just read it damn

you were a diligent, serious worker but you’d never be caught working overtime in a place like that. you would never work longer than you had to, you don’t give a fuck about your job, or any company that much. the job wasn’t exactly exciting or difficult, but the salary was absolutely ridiculous for such simple tasks and you just can’t say goodbye to this lifestyle, really. it is easy, stable and comfortable and you really cannot ask for anything else.

you always kept to yourself and minded your own business but, unfortunately for you, the men you worked with were not familiar with such a concept.

when you started you job, your male coworkers found no problem or shame in flirting with you. and now, with the new, simple yet expensive golden wedding band on your finger…they still had no problem flirting with you.

you sit at your desk typing away, when all of a sudden, your coworker, sam, appeared out of nowhere like a bunny in a top hat.

“hey!” he spoke, far too loudly for the environment you were in.

“…hi.”

“how are you?” sam leans on your desk, shifting it in a way which will irk you for the rest of this painful interaction.

you look up at him, mouth streamline and eyes blank. “i’m fine, thank you,” you make a point of not asking how he is before raising your eyebrows and looking at your desk computer, “got work to do.”

“yeah,” he chuckles, biting his lip, “so listen…”

oh no.

“so i’ve been thinking…”

please, stop.

“i think we get along really well and i’m just wondering…”

god, help me.

“…if maybe we could go out sometime,” he finishes, smirking all of his ivory, hyper-perfect, white teeth at you. he stares at you, awaiting your answer.

you sigh. he sees so confident. it was sad.

you fiddle with your watch and begin your awkward rejection, “look i-”

a voice calling out your name is heard as you spin around in your squeaky desk chair and a few feet away, stands your wife, mikasa.

what is she doing here?

next to her is the receptionist, you smiles at you and nods to mikasa before walking away.

mikasa is dressed to the nines, as she always is.

she is decked out in an all-black outfit - her toned arms, decorated with lace sleeves, snug at the top and loosening out as the fabric goes on. a corset adorns her waist, peppered with lace accents and it emphasises the pale expanse of her upper breasts that are on display for everyone to see. her lower half is draped in a long, slightly billowed out skirt and platform boots cover her feet, making her almost tower over everyone.

mikasa walks over to you, unbothered by all the eyes on her. in her hand is a small container, one that you assume carries your lunch. she leans down and kisses you cheek, surely staining your skin with scarlet. you feel heat on your face. you’re pretty sure nobody is working at this point.

“hi ♡.” mikasa greets, a soft smile on her lips.

“hi-mikasa, what are-” you stand up swiftly, looking around your small work area, noticing how your colleagues are simply pretending to work, “what are you doing here? i said i’d meet you outside.”

“you were taking a while. the receptionist noticed and asked who i was waiting for. she let me come up here.”

“yeah, but-”

“but what?”

you huff and glance behind you.

sam, your flirty coworker who cannot take a hint, stands there like a buffoon, mouth agape and just watching you and mikasa interact. mikasa says a small “hello” to him and he responds with a dumb wave.

you roll your eyes. then you notice the food container in mikasa’s hands. she has a new set of nails too. “is that my lunch?”

“yes, that’s why i came here. you forgot it.”

you take it out of her hands, graceful. “thank you, baby…new nails too, i see?”

mikasa blushes, eyes knocking to the side. “mhm. i took your card for that.”

“mikasa!” you frown halfheartedly, “i was looking for that.”

“sorry. but you have seven other cards, so i think you will be okay.”

you hear a snort on your right, and a sharp glare from you shut them up.

mikasa beams at you.

you huff, beginning to walk “lets go to that café across the street.��

“okay!”

mikasa slips her hand into yours. on that very hand, a ring with an onyx diamond beautifies her finger. the ring that you placed there.

you coworker starts to call out, “aren’t you gonna introduce-”

“no!”

*

“you should be nicer to your coworkers.”

“why on earth would i do that?” you groan, disgusted by the suggestion.

the food mikasa made is delicious, and you shove your face with it in bad table manners. you were starving. mikasa doesn’t mind.

it was a sunny thursday afternoon and the streets were quiet, along with the café itself. mikasa nibbles on a small pastry and sips her tea.

“because, they’re your coworkers. and you need to keep your job.”

“ha! they need to keep me. i’m the best worker in that damn place.”

mikasa hums, taking a hold of your hands, causing you to drop you cutlery on the table ungracefully, “but then, who’d be able to pay for my nails?”

“…yeah, you’re right,” you smooth your thumb over her smooth knuckles, kissing the ring on her finger, “who would, huh?”

*

you walk back into your workplace, skip in your step. you whistle a tune all the way to your desk, stopping in your tracks when you realise everyone is silent and looking at you.

“…what?!”

the continuous chatter starts up again and everyone goes back to their tasks, not looking to bother or piss you off today

later on, when you walk through the door to your house and look in the mirror right beside it, you see a multitude of faded, red lip-shaped lipstick stained kissed all over your face.

a/n: i want her to be my wife so bad………

[nicodrawings]

Idk if I ever said this out loud, but I’m from Maryland (well the DMV) and a chunk of my childhood was spent in the suburbs of Maryland. I remember seeing the cicadas episode of COTC for the first time and it felt like I was going back in time to when I was a kid.

Although my childhood was very different from a lot of kids in the show, I think it’s one of the few shows where I feel like I truly see myself in it. Especially as a black girl and I know that if I was still a kid I would still love it as much as I do now.

So yea…seeing this Warner Bros. situation really fuckin hurts to see.

Like idk how else to put it. It’s just heartbreaking. I hate seeing people lose their jobs, their shows, their fuckin work, for some dudes at the top to make a quick buck. It absolutely enrages me and it’s something I’ve ranted and cried about to my sister. And I’ve seen many people around my age and younger say that they might step away from the animation industry for something more stable. And sometimes I wonder myself if I’m going the right path, and if pursuing the animation industry is worth the risk. And y’know what…I do think it’s worth the risk. Art and more specifically animation is quite frankly the love of my life. It’s helped me get through life in so many ways and I just don’t know where the hell I’d be if I didn’t have it. There’s so much love put into these shows and shorts and movies. From writing to concepts and characters, to sound design and effects, like I love it all, and it’s my dream to be a part of it all, no matter how small the role is. My sister told me that moments like this (where corporations try to fuck over craftsmen and they care more about a product than people) never end well for those mfs, especially in art, because artist won’t take that shit sitting down. And I’d like to think she’s right. That we won’t take this shit sitting down, that whether your a causal viewer or someone who wants to make a career in animation, we’re gonna be like “man fuck this shit you gonna respect me” and actually square up with these companies that think they can just throw ppl away and fuck people over. Animation isn’t nothing, creators aren’t nothing. I know it’s a hard fight to go up against but I don’t think it’s impossible to fight, and it’s something I wanna help fight in. I think the animation industry and the workers involved are worth fighting for and I know I’m definitely not alone in this thought.

I don’t know of any of this makin any sense but honestly I just wanted to speak from the heart.

If you’re reading this and you worked on Craig of the Creek or were a part of the creative teams under Warner Bros. or Netflix or whichever big animation studio (miraculously lol but you never know whos reading i guess) and you were laid off, from the bottom of my fuckin heart, thank you and I’m sorry. Y’all put so much hard work and creativity and love and dedication into the shows you worked on and I have so much respect for y’all for doin what you do. Y’all aren’t nothing, y’all aren’t garbage to be tossed away and you shouldn’t be treated as such. And I know y’all have a big and bright future ahead.

Keep supporting animation

Keep watching and loving animation

Keep fighting for animation

[starleska]

Huzzah! Art Fight nears its end, I think. I have survived! As have you!…I hope. I’m pretty sure you survived. <3 I know a lot happened there, but we both did ArtFight stuff! You did stuff! I did stuff! You fought hard! Idk if you’re doing any better or worse than before, and idk if you feel bad about any kind of inactivity, but there’s no need to! You’re alive and that’s what matters! If you want or need to take time away a little longer, you can take as much as you need! I’m sure we all love you and will be here when you’re ready <3

Also, since the “war” is over, or ending, we can go back to drawing whatever we want of whatever quality forever again without any pressure or self-imposed pressure to draw something else goodly! Woe! Art be upon ye!

(…I couldn’t remember where I saw your full lil persona before so I’ve been referencing your tumblr pfp and ArtFight pfp and going by memory sorry-)

…love toaster quality art…Ig that proves my point! Though sending this to myself on discord and screenshotting it may not be a good idea…post art fight delirium my beloved. uh let me just-

SCREAMING!!!! okay okay i have been mulling over how to reply to this for days because i was so just. delighted and overwhelmed with this little blorbo-processing universe you've invented for us!!!! F/O Inc...oh man, what a delightful place to work!!! that really is what it feels like logging into Tumblr Dot Com to yell about some new idiot 😂💖💖💖

but now i'm thinking...what exactly are our jobs? do we do fieldwork? certainly you and i are collectors of f/os, hunting down potential obscure characters for people to get obsessed with...what's the corporate hierarchy here? are our clients other selfshippers, or are they the f/os themselves? i'm cracking up at the idea of it being like one of those matchmaking dating services crossed with a crime drama...Ace Attorney style, people bringing in their woes and desperately hunting for an f/o who'll match them perfectly...!!! 😂😂😂 Client, visibly sweating: "Gosh, I-I never usually do this sort of thing, but...it's been so lonely on my dash recently, and I...I was wondering if you had any new, um...Tumblr Sexymen...to recommend?" You, chain-smoking cigarettes with three hanging out of your mouth: "Sweetheart, you've come to the right place. Take a look at these puppies." You yank a thick file from your drawer and slap it down, open, on the desk. "Now, keep an open mind, toots...but you ever hear about this Once-ler fella?" all of the DETAILS in this art are killing me 🙈🙈🙈 your countless cups of coffee, as if you've been trying to cope with the new freaks i've brought into the office 😭💖💖 the little Employee of the Month photo too, oh my gosh!!! i'm honoured :3c and oh my god the TINY Piers, Ramón and Maxime...!!!!!! FUCK the second i get a new laptop and can draw again i need to add to this universe, thank you for coming up with something so brilliant 🥺💖💖💖 accepting new hires for F/O Inc. today! 😉 and HUGE CONGRATULATIONS TO YOU FOR GETTING TO THE END OF ARTFIGHT FRIEND!!!! 😭💖💖💖 so sorry that July decided to kick me in the metaphorical nuts and i wasn't able to attack you back, but THANK YOU SO MUCH for the wonderful art you made me which i treasure so much 🙈💖💖💖 shortly i'll be compiling all the lovely art i received into a little chart, and i can't wait to show off your work!!! i owe you big time 😉 thank you as well for such a lovely pep talk and all the niceness you've thrown my way 🫂 of course i do feel a bit guilty about needing to take a step back and being so open about the burnout, but it's been a busy month for all of us, haven't it? i think August is going to be really nice and fun :3c anyway this is kickass and i'm so glad to be your colleague at F/O Inc. bahahaha 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[dovetart]

So, I might’ve been fired from my job because of my disability but I’m not quite sure because they’re not communicating with me.

So, long story short (not really, I accidentally wrote a lot here lmao), I got a survival job at a grocery store pushing carts. At the time I wasn’t really fully aware of just how physically disabled I was. I knew I had chronic pain and fatigue but for some reason I thought taking such a physically taxing job would be ok? Idk maybe I was thinking more of my mental disabilities, thinking it could lessen the barriers that I have with those disabilities (which it didn’t lol my mental health is always bad but it definitely got worse in a few ways while working that job). Or maybe I was just reinforcing that toxic mindset that’s been hammered into me my whole life to just ignore my pain and push through it. Like, I needed that job to be able to get off the street and get an apartment and I was so desperate I decided to ignore the fact that it would be bad for my mental and physical health.

But after working this job I finally cannot deny it anymore. I’m disabled. Which, looking back on my whole life, it should’ve been obvious because I was always struggling with pain and fatigue. I’ve never been able to have a job for a long time. I can’t stand for longer than 4 hours, even then I’m still in a lot of pain. And I don’t have a car so I still have to muster up the strength to walk back home and then pass out on my bed for the rest of the day. The only way that I have survived this far is by taking copious amounts of pain killers so then the pain in more of a dull ache that I can ignore better.

And after a really bad day of work; a coworker yelled at me because I was resting before clocking out so I could have strength to walk home after a 5 hour shift, I cried… of course… and since I was already struggling emotionally that day I went home and had a psychotic meltdown where I almost ended myself. And after that I was talking to my therapist and she agreed that I shouldn’t be working. That I should take some time off. That my life and health was more important than this job. And, me, who is already someone who doesn’t like corporate companies and (thanks of years of therapy) now knows my worth, of course agreed with that and talked with my career counselor to work things out with my job so I could take the week off. I specifically told her that I needed a week off and then after that I was planning on talking to management to try to get accommodations and then work on getting onto disability while still working so I can still have an apartment. Then after I get on disability then THATS when I would quit, y’know?

But, evidently my career counselor told them “I don’t know how long they’ll be out for” even tho I clearly told her a WEEK. And, after just a couple days, I was talking on the phone with my doctor, trying to get a permission slip to take the week off (which, unrelated, why does it take so long to get something like that when I’m in a crisis and needed it right there and then 😭) when my work called me. And since I had used up all my energy that day talking to both my therapist and doctor over the phone, I didn’t call them back.

But… erm… I wasn’t scheduled this week. And I was like “ok, maybe they got my doctors note and that’s why got off this week also.” But I haven’t been scheduled for next week either… and I usually get my schedule for the next week by now. And I’m starting to think that phone call I missed BECAUSE I WAS TALKING TO MY DOCTOR was them calling because I missed my shift that day and it might’ve been them telling me I was fired because I missed it.

And it’s starting to make me nervous because I legitimately do need money. And I’m starting to get scared that I will be homeless again. I have no where to go if something like this is happening. And I think it’d be hard to get another job especially since I now know that I legitimately can’t work because of my disabilities.

And my new social worker… omg it’s so unprofessional… I was supposed to start meeting them back in July, but I haven’t heard ANYTHING from them and it’s September now. My therapist even tried to get in contact with them, said they would contact me, but they STILL HAVEN’T!!! And it would be really nice if I could get a social worker because that would help me out a lot. Like I definitely can’t fight to get onto disability all on my own, I can barely make phone calls!

And I’m not going to lie, I don’t think my career counselor or doctor realize how bad I’m doing right now. My therapist does and it feels like she’s the one always trying to get in contact with those other "professionals" to tell them to do their jobs because what I'm going through is legitimately effecting me horribly. But, I'm too good at pretending I'm doing fine when in reality I feel like I'm dying. I think that's why I was denied disability last time, because I masked too well during my evaluation smh Feel's like no one will take me seriously when I tell them how much I struggle.

Worst part is, is that I don’t even know what physically disability I have because I’ve been undiagnosed my whole life with like everything that I have because my parents refused to take me to the doctor as much as possible and never ever let me get a therapist until I was forced to because I ran away, tried to end myself and then was sent to the hospital by the police. What sucks is that all the experiences I have had with doctors and medical environments have all been quite traumatizing and filled with medical malpractice and gaslighting, so I’m not even sure my doctor will believe me. And idk if I would even trust her. No I don’t. I don’t trust most medical professionals. In fact I have had blood tests taken with this doctor already and my results all “came back normal” so “there’s nothing wrong with me,” right? (There is definitely something going on with my body here…)

And, I’m still not sure if I’m fired or not because they don’t communicate with me. Like, no offense, but l feel like they should put more effort than just one phone call that’s easy to miss, no voicemail or anything, to tell me that I’m fired. But what else am I supposed to assume when they’ve gone radio silent on me? I’m going to wait for the end of the week to see if I do eventually get a schedule… but after that I’m for sure contacting my career counselor to figure things out and start working on getting a new job.

I’m just mad that I possibly lost a job because of something I can’t control. But a part of me isn’t that mad because that job was taking SO much from me.

Idk but I’m just going through a real shit time right now. I mean, when am I not, right lol I’ve been struggling with this my whole life, and I’m tired of fighting. Part of me thinks I would be better off dead than having to continue to try to prove to others that I’m “disabled enough” to get accommodations. I really don’t want to be homeless again. Trying hard to survive today and focus on one day at a time.

Sorry, I don’t usually make posts like this. I just needed to get this off my chest somewhere. Thanks if you read all the way through.

[andvys]

So I have a question about something I guess personal but idk how you would describe it. So I know in your bio it says you are 25, well, so am I and I have a husband and a beautiful baby boy (who we named Dustin btw). Everyone in my family and my friends know that I am a HUGE fan girl and my husband doesn’t care either because it’s a celebrity or fictional characters and he said he doesn’t mind as long as i don’t physically cheat on him (which I never would). Well I recently got a different job in a big corporation office and I’ve been working there for about 2 months now. I am really good friends with a few people and everyone else I get along with. Well, on Friday it was a slow day and me and a few other people were all talking about just random stuff and somehow we got on the topic of favorite movies and tv shows. Well I was saying that in October, my husband was going to take me to GA (as we are not far from GA) for a tour of where ST filmed because my husband and I are a huge fan of that show (and plus our anniversary is in October as well) and I was saying that Steve was my favorite character and plus the guy who played Steve (Joe Keery)was very gorgeous as well. well this woman (we’ll call her Marg) she is probably about 35 or 36 (her and I aren’t really good friends and she is kind of snooty tbh) told me that I shouldn’t be obsessing over random celebrities because that will make my husband mad and then he will want to cheat on me. I told her that my husband and I have an understanding when it comes to stuff like that and my husband loves me very much and would never do that to me. So then, this mother fucking bitch says and I quote “well if he was my husband, I wouldn’t do that to him” like okay bitch we all know that your marriage is on the verge of a divorce and your husband would rather play golf then to spend time with you. They have 2 kids but she had her kids (twins) when she was 19 and that’s when her and her husband got married. I told her that she needs to focus on her own marriage and stay the hell out of mine. And she then said that I need to focus on my family and that my son doesn’t need a mom who is a fan girl as I am 25 and need to grow up. Then that’s when my other co workers stepped in and said for her to chill out that what she was saying was very uncalled for. My good friend (we’ll call her Jess) said not to worry about it and she said that Marg is just very jealous of anyone who has a good marriage and who is a great mom. I smiled and said yeah I guess you are right. But that whole day and this whole weekend I have been dwelling over it because it’s in the back of my mind of what if my husband cheats on me or what if my son grows up to hate me?

I haven’t told my husband yet because I don’t want him to worry about anything. I love my husband and son more than anything in this world and I know I am not 15 anymore but I am allowed to have a life.

Is it okay for me to still be a fangirl even though I am 25 and have a family of my own?

Also so sorry that this was long. I just wanted some advice and I trust your judgement.

Oh my god! This is actually insane! Marg seems like a miserable lady, who wants to spread nothing but negativity and take away the joy and fun in other people's lives.

Why should a celebrity/fictional crush make your husband want to cheat?! That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. I'm sure your husband doesn't mind you a being a fangirl, Jesus.

Also, 'your son doesn't need a mom who is fangirl' what 😭 she is trying to make you feel guilty and again, she's trying to take away the joy in your life.

There is nothing wrong and there is nothing childish about being a fangirl, there is no age at when you should stop being a fangirl. You can be 40 and still be a fangirl, that doesn't mean that you are childish or that you are a bad mom (what the actual fuck 😭).

Marg seems like the type of woman who thinks that just because you are married & have kids now, that you aren't allowed to have hobbies anymore. She's a miserable Karen and her opinion shouldn't matter to you at all. Fuck Marg, let her go live her miserable life and keep being the fangirl that you always were.

It's absolutely okay to be a fangirl at the age of 25 and older! My sister is 35, she has a daughter, she's a good mom and she was a fangirl all her life, there is nothing wrong with that.

You don't have to be a miserable old lady at such a young age. Keep fangirling, keep reading/writing fics for your favorite characters, keep buying merchandise. You are never too old to be a fangirl!

[bigsnzstanacct]

I've seen a lot of members in the snzblr-sphere openly condemning gAI and its use. I guess, I wonder how that makes you feel since you use it quite frequently here

Well, this is a sneeze fetish blog but since you asked… here’s a sermonette on AI, lmao:

I work irl in an industry and in roles that have I think fairly significant risk of being displaced by AI in the next 5-10 years, so I have some empathy and understanding particularly for visual artists who feel that all generative AI is parasitical not only on work they and their friends may have done in the past, but in particular harmful to their ability to be paid for their work presently and into the future. And in fact for the purposes of visual art I rarely/never use generative AI anymore, not so much because I found it unethical, but just because it isn’t very good at drawing what I want to see. But like idk if people want me to delete the generative AI images I’ve posted in the past, I would, sure.

I feel quite a bit differently about generative AI text, and that’s probably just cause like… listen, I can’t draw for shit so on some level I don’t really feel qualified to understand how visual artists feel about generative AI, so I think in that sense it’s maybe easier/healthier to defer to practicing artists who feel strongly and otherwise mind my business. But I am a writer, both in the context of this fetish community and irl (technically getting paid—albeit a very small amount—to write for a bit starting at the end of this month, actually!) And for me generative AI is a really effective tool for combating the anxiety of the blank page and virtually nothing else. Like it’s not… good… at writing? And because I’ve used it so much I currently don’t have any fear of it becoming good enough at writing to replace professional writers? (Also at a deep level, I do believe that novel ideas and perspectives exist and the core social utility of writing is to provide those new ideas and perspectives, which I just don’t think generative AI is capable of doing, at least not any time soon). But on some level that makes it perfect for churning out endless variations on simple sneeze fetish themes that land in our silly fetish horny hitboxes. So because it is not capable, in my opinion, of replacing professional writers even for basic corporate marketing type shit, I see it more as a tool for writers to use as we see fit? And I have zero problem using the tool to recreate slight variations on the theme of “big sneeze blows things away” to satisfy fetish cravings and frankly I think y’all should use it in the same way lmao. And also use it to help you write actual stories! It works well as essentially an outlining tool. I wouldn’t even use it to generate dialogue or language because again I think it is very bad at that, but it is good at like… providing options for how a story could flow from point a to point b. And sometimes just revising something is easier than starting from scratch, you know?

AND THEN more broadly, I don’t think that generative AI is inherently harmful, I think we (as Americans/westerners/consumers in capitalists societies, not as sneeze fetishists lmao) have a social structure that makes it potentially harmful. The issue with generative AI taking your job isn’t that it’s going to replace your true original artistic expression, your brilliant webcomic, your sprawling fantasy universe, your masterpiece painting. The issue is that it’s going to take your bullshit graphic artist job for a marketing firm, or even your job as a storyboard artist, etc. AND maybe it SHOULD take those jobs! If gAI can speed up the intermediate stages of artistic production like storyboarding, then great storyboard artists can simply work on more films, enhancing the quality of those films, by using AI to speed up their work. And for the marketing gig, if that work that frankly does more to sap creative energy and funnel it towards greasing the bullshit wheels of capital could be done by generative AI, that would be GREAT for artists, *if* the value created were shared equitably across society. If there were an “AI dividend” that took 50% of the savings created by generative AI and invested it in grants and free classes and free drawing tablets and free housing and funds for creatives to do creative work, then you wouldn’t need the bullshit marketing job that saps your energy, you could work part time in a job unrelated to art and still afford the necessities of life while you work on the stuff you actually care about.

But, of course, we have a bullshit capitalist system. But even within the confines of that system, trying to just reject a productivity enhancing technology rather than harnessing it to the benefit of workers (rather than just allow capital to use the technology as it sees fit, which we have seen unions like the WGA in particular fight very effectively against, SAG-AFTRA less so but that’s a whole other can of worms) is, imo, always a fool’s errand. What we need isn’t to ban AI or create taboos against its use; what we need to emphasize that it is a tool for creatives to accelerate our work, to create more time for us to attend to the details, to ultimately help us make better stuff (and here I am lowkey or maybe high key talking about my day job tho I am being intentionally vague) rather than simply a way for capital to cut down on labor costs. Don’t hate the new robot player, hate the game lol. And in all seriousness, *organize* so that the game gets better rules. And share some of the benefits with capital too, because that’s how it works in the mixed economy (for now). AI generally is eventually going to automate away a lot of junior and entry level work in my industry… and I actually think that can be GREAT! Because then junior level people can actually be apprentices to the creatives that are doing the jobs they one day want to do, instead of getting stuck (as I did, for nearly a decade) doing boring technical work under the guise of assisting creatives, but not actually getting any better at the creative skill you are supposedly apprenticing to one day do.

“But bigsnzstanacct, what if I really love my marketing job greasing the wheels of capital using graphics and art work?” you say. Awesome! Then you should be mastering generative AI to get the most possible benefit out of it, because After The Revolution, we will need people to get the best out of the generative AI and touch up their work and fix their errors either inside or outside of the gAI programs. That is also part of how we harness AI to actually benefit society, by getting good at using it.

So anyway, sermonette over tl;dr: message me or send me another ask if you want me to delete my old posts of generative AI images; generative AI and AI as a whole is just a tool, the tool in itself is not good or bad, the institutions shaping its use are good or bad (and the capitalist institutions that dominate workers presently are very very bad and will incline towards using AI badly and in an anti-worker way in already precarious creative fields, BUT there is power in a union, and we can work together to improve the institutions such that AI can benefit us all, perhaps creatives especially.)

[caught-in-the-filter]

wondering what kind of work you do - not your specific job but a little about it, like loud, quiet, nights, office, retail, outdoorsy, or whatever

Thanks! 😊❤️😘

I’m only putting a readmore because I’ll probably ramble kind of long lol. ❤️

I work in the print and marketing department of an office supply retail store. So I get the insane pace of fast food, but with custom prints instead of something edible. We only print on paper in-store and can cut them, so we do flyers, business cards, invitations, booklets, posters, blueprints, address labels, etc. and also just simple prints like things people need printed from their email. We can bind books a few different ways too and also laminate. Our offsite facility handles the fun stuff like shirts, hats, bags, pens, vinyl banners, cards with golf foil accents, fancier stock business cards, window decals, etc.

It gets very loud when the printers and cutters are running, and we deal with a lot of angry impatient people so that’s fun. Everyone wants everything done yesterday when they come in, but they never have anything ready for what they want and I can only print as fast as my printer. And no one wants to use the fairly instant self-serve printers, but they yell when they have to wait for us to do it too. But there are a few recurring customers I do love to see when they come in.

We don’t do as much design as I’d hoped because we have an offsite team we’re supposed to use, or we can set the customer up with our templates to create business cards, flyers, invites, etc. on their own. But people come into the store looking for hands-on help because they don’t want or don’t know how to use the website which is what has our templates, and it’s so much easier sometimes to help on a template than be the middleman for our offsite team, so I usually help more than I probably should. But then people expect it, and we can’t always accommodate it with how busy we get, so then they get angry that they have to do it or pay for the service. So I’m trying to get better at helping less, which also kind of sucks because that’s the part of the job I really want to do.

I’m personally not cross-trained for the sales floor, so I generally know where most things are in the store and still have to do register, but I couldn’t tell you anything about our desk chairs or a particular pen refill size or whatever else, and I don’t really know how to process a return.

We also take UPS drop-offs and can create labels for UPS packages, and we have some third party mailbox thing that’s like having a P.O. Box. Tbh those might be two of my least favorite parts of my job because we really just don’t have time to mess with it on top of our actual print stuff, and it makes our section too chaotic with boxes and mail.

Ummm…that’s pretty much it I think? We just get a ton of orders all the time and corporate doesn’t give us enough hours to schedule, so we’re constantly backed up and losing our minds lol. When customers say, “No one wants to work anymore,” when they see one of us running the department alone, my response is always, “We have plenty of people, but corporate wont let us schedule enough of us.” I guess our hours per week are based on sales from the previous year, and idk how they calculate it, but for how well we do, we should definitely be allowed to schedule enough people all the time so we aren’t all having breakdowns at the counter because we’re overwhelmed. 🙃🙃🙃

Oh also I usually work morning or mid shifts because it’s easier for my mom and I to get there with her work schedule at her job too, but I’ve worked nights occasionally too. And when we genuinely were more short-staffed and had a lot of call-offs/no-shows, I’ve stayed basically open to close kind of a lot.

Anyway, thanks for the ask! 😊❤️😘

[casliveblog]

Custom Toonami Block Week 183 Rundown

The Witch from Mercury: It’s been two months since Suletta beat Shaddiq and Miorine’s off doing PR shit and business meeting being your standard Single Female Lawyer type badass businesswoman, but she’s trusting Suletta with her most important tasks at home which makes her happy. As testing goes forward there’s sort of an underlying anxiety among the club-like initial corporate group that Miorine’s gonna turn it into a for real company and get rid of them and all their high school antics (and honestly in terms of pure utilitarianism she probably should, like these guys are not very good at this, but for sentimental reasons we’re gonna treat that like it’s a bad idea). Meanwhile there’s a plot to kill Miroine’s dad from inside the Fortune 500 amd Shaddiq’s dad is just like ‘that’ll never work count me out’ but Shaddiq hears about it and hires up the Lagoon Company from earth to go help kill him which happens to involve hijacking the spaceship Guel’s currently serving out his Chazz Princeton rich boy humbling arc on so that’s kind of a lot. Meanwhile meanwhile, Suletta’s really excited about giving little phone charms to Miorine to share with her and I’ve watched enough anime to know anytime an anime schoolgirl skips down the street giggling about how great something will be, something is about to go horribly horribly wrong. There’s a New Fake Ceres and apparently this one’s the horny one because he just comes right onto Suletta saying that Miroine’s basically enlisted Suletta into a loveless political marriage like the Clintons and he wants to be her Monica Lewinsky so yeah that’s all kinds of fucked up and I feel like I’ve very much aged myself with that reference but I stand by it. Suletta’s a good lesbian and tells him to fuck off and even she notices the changes in him despite being a complete idiot to social clues so this guy’s not doing a very good job at acting. Turns out the worst is yet to come though as Miorine’s back and has hired people to take care of all the domestic shit she was having Suletta do and even hired Ceres to split the product testing workload with her (though if I remember correctly the Cereses can only pilot Gundam stuff by sitting on cockpits of broken glass and having bodies enhanced to resist broken glass so idk if that’ll hurt the company’s numbers or what). So this is actually a really good dilemma, like from Miorine’s perspective she’s been putting too much on Suletta and wants to make sure she doesn’t overwhelm her because she does care about her and Suletta is kind of a flighty ditz so you don’t want to give her too much, but from Suletta’s perspective Miorine’s taking back all that trust she put in her and devaluing their relationship and saying she’s not needed. It’s like Suletta’s a housewife and Miorine hired a maid but Suletta likes doing housewife shit and doesn’t wanna sit around drinking brandy and complaining about the neighbors, it’s a neat little conflict where you can see where they’re both coming from and I quite like it. Ummm also Prospera’s meeting with Miorine’s dad so hopefully she doesn’t get caught up in the Lagoon Company assassination attempt or else we’d be out the only two parental figures our main characters have.

Inuyasha The Final Act: Following up on last time, Kaede confirms that the will of the Jewel itself is what’s sealing Kagome’s power now that she’s become too strong, similar to how Midoriko’s will sought Kohaku and Koga being absorbed in order to make the jewel whole and purify Naraku, there’s a lot of Jewel Shenanigans in the back half of this series. Meanwhile demons are challenging Sesshomaru because he’s got no weapon, one arm, and a kid with the last jewel shard with him, but luckily Sesshomaru’s so overpowered he can literally beat 90% of the cast with one hand rotting in his father’s grave. Still, now we get the big reveal that Naraku’s working with the evil part of the jewel itself, Magatsuhi and Naraku’s just like ‘you better get off your ass and do something or else the good guys are gonna win’ because Naraku will literally do anything to get out of fighting for himself. So Magatsuhi uses part of Naraku’s body to basically possess a chunk of him and become a pseudo-incarnation and like… for the big bad of the series, mastermind behind the corruption of the jewel and murderer of Midoriko, this guy’s mid as fuck like he has genuinely no aura whatsoever and is not much of a physical threat at this point in the series, shown by his main strategy being literally immortal and hiding behind the peanut gallery so Inuyasha can’t do his big AOE attacks. He does manage to corrupt Kohaku’s shard and knock Kagome out with Conqeror’s Haki but like unless you’re specifically Sesshomaru working at 25% power he’s not very threatening. Still Sesshomaru shows off that he has healing powers and always has but is just too stubborn to use them and transforms into his Full Demon form, where Jaken confirms a long-standing theory I had as a kid that Full Demon Sesshomaru is the peak of his physical strength but sacrifices his aura and strategy which is why Inuyasha was able to take him down so easily in like episode 4, it’s just a big strong punching bag. Still, Sesshomaru can injure Magatsuhi’s ghost form with the Tenseiga, but it isn’t strong enough to hurt his physical body so he’s swallowed up, going through an existential crisis with Inuyasha shouting at him that he’s stupid if he’d rather die than be shown up by the person he gave his technique to and we don’t actually see if but Sesshomaru does let go of all of it, his attachment to the Tessaiga, the mildly shitty thing his dad did to him in getting him to make a new ultimate attack for the main character, and his renewed compassion for the people around him, culminating in the formation of the Bakusaiga, the ultimate in badass swords ten times stronger than the Tessaiga’s base attacks and with the added ability of poisoning any regeneration attempts, it’s so fucking broken it sounds like something someone playing Inuyasha on the playground would make up and I love it. He blows away Magatsuhi’s physical body but the ghost escapes, leaving Kohaku’s shard no longer unobtainable by Naraku and Kagome in a fucking coma so between that and the powerup it’s kind of a wash.

Castlevania: Trevor’s feeling some existential angst about going from being a wandering brigand to being a pair of wandering brigands in a healthy relationship and has a nice little talk with the mayor about both of their worries until both they and Sypha’s group see carved symbols around the town, now these aren’t all the same symbol like claiming the place for the Hell Sympathizers of the Priory but they’re different symbols so I’mma go out on a limb and say they’re either runes for a ritual or markings for where key positions of a more formal takeover/sacrifice will be. Alucard’s still off training his Japanese sword twins and is just having fun being a pseudo-father figure to them and again I’ve seen enough anime to know when something will likely go horribly wrong. Sypha confronts Saint Germain about him sneaking around the Priory with glowing rocks and once they meet up with Trevor he eventually admits he’s after the magical multiverse portal that can cross space and time and Sypha and Trevor come to the obvious conclusion that the demon that landed in the Priory is using said magical multiverse portal to unlock unlimited power and exert influence over the cultists and Germain’s just like ‘well fuck, I didn’t think of that’ despite having all the pieces way longer than these two have, like come on man.

Konosuba: So about that Kazuma rescue arc… yeah, not gonna happen. Kazuma’s enjoying his life in the capital and being the scumbag we all know he is (though honestly not as big of one as he COULD be, still pretty bad though) and he cultivates the Onii-chan relationship with Iris that he’s always wanted. It’s interesting because we actually do get a good look at how the war against the Devil King is affecting the world at large, even Kazuma’s like ‘somebody should do something about that’ even though HE’S the one supposed to be doing something about that, which is pretty funny. Eventually the gang DOES come to get him back once he’s been a bit too indulgent but they agree to stay for one more night so Iris can say goodbye. During the party Darkness gets hit on by a bunch of obnoxious flowery guys talking about how pretty she is in increasingly ostentatious ways which this may be me thinking too much about it but maybe she’s just a masochist because everyone spends so much time kissing her butt she’s literally bored of all the ways they invent to say how great she is and pain and degradation are somehow more ‘real’ to her, like if people are always lying to your face with good things you’re bound to feel like the bad stuff is the truth, but again that may just be me headcanoning too hard. Kazuma picks up on how uncomfortable she is and livens the mood a bit TOO much and gets kicked out, where Iris finds him and talks about how she knows because he’s such a scumbag that he’s always being real with her and she appreciates it. During the conversation she mentions a Phantom Thief that’s Robin Hooding their way around stealing from the corrupt and giving to the needy and in hilarious fashion Kazuma agrees to stop this nice yet technically illegal person to save his own skin and stay in the lap of luxury a bit longer. But before he can pull a Light Yagami and vaguely pretend to catch someone he has no interest in catching for two years, they kick him out of the palace and make him go stay with the targets of the Phantom Thief so now they’re stuck with the dude that almost killed them for teleporting a mech bomb into his house, fun stuff.

Delicious in Dungeon: It’s the first part of the two-part midseason finale, and the plan comes apart almost immediately who would’ve guessed. Turns out using cooking pans as shields doesn’t exactly work the same because cooking pans SPREAD heat instead of blocking it, need some giant armored potholders for that. What’s more, the dragon is basically completely unphased by their building trap, idk why they thought a giant armored lizard impervious to explosions would mind having a bridge dropped on it but maybe they thought it ate Captain Kirk and absorbed his weakness to bridges. Even Laios’s parasite sword wants nothing to do with this and jumps out of the way and hunkers down. Senshi and Chilchuck sacrifice themselves to take out one of its eyes and Laios comes up with a plan to launc himself off the pan BotW Shield surfing style and dangle his leg from the dragon’s mouth to stab its weak point. Now I thought he was gonna get completely swallowed and stab its weak point from the inside which would’ve been cooler but this is still pretty damn cool. While Laios is unconscious there’s a small flashback that’s otherwise just for emotional stuff but I do want to bring attention to the fact they come across a ring that binds souls to bodies similar to what the dungeon does and apparently it was in the possession of an elf so that may or may not be relevant to the story given we’re getting dripfed this shit REALLY slowly. One short flashback about Falin later, Laios is down a leg and before I can start thinking we’re gonna have some cool How to Train your Dragon parallels with a disability character they just fucking reattach the thing, idk I think one-leg Laios would’ve been a neat wrinkle though at least he gets a scar for his trouble. Still the group aren’t able to find Falin anywhere in the dragon’s guts and ultimately determine her remains are in the pseudo-appendix where they find her weapon and what Laios presumes to be her fucking skull so uhh that’s dark, dunno what the extent of that healing magic is but unless we can spontaneously regrow flesh we’ll have to get into some FMA territory here and work on some human transmutation, I mean Laios DID already sacrifice a leg so who’s ready to be put into a suit of armor? Senshi? Probably Senshi.

Frieren: Beyond Journey’s End: The time has finally come for Sein’s big decision whether to stay with the group or chase after his friend… is what I would be saying if there wasn’t a bigass blizzard out of nowhere. Sein gets to enjoy a little more time with his friends even if they mostly go off and do their own things, even getting to mediate one last Fern and Stark fight and tell them both they have to act like adults and stop pouting over stupid shit. Side note but I kinda really like this little tiff they have like at first it sounds like Stark did something completely reasonable and Fern just flipped out but Fern reveals that she was actually scared because of how easily Stark was able to immobilize her even for just a gag and then was embarrassed about how scared she got for a sec, like it’s a very natural reaction and something men and women of any type kind of have to acknowledge when being around each other, there’s sort of an instinctual fear that doesn’t come up a lot but it is nice to touch on it and have Fern apologize and share her feelings on the matter and request for gentler treatment idk I just really like that touch. Either way as anyone could’ve called, Sein does decide to head off on his own after one last talk with Frieren and says his bittersweet goodbyes after leaving assured the group will be alright without him. Next Fern gets sick so we get to have a nice little Stark/Frieren adventure, a neat little pairing we don’t see the two of them alone much together and they bounce off each other well, Stark brings out Frieren’s sillier side a bit and Frieren doesn’t rile Stark up as much as Fern does so they’re able to have an earnest discussion about Fern and her growing up and Frieren feeling like something of a mother figure to her in a way which even normal mothers have a hard time watching kids grow up so far so Frieren must be getting whiplash for how fast Fern grew up on her sense of scale. Still they’re able to stay at a little farm where Stark gets complimented on his skill with milking tits so make of that what you will, we’re back on track and ready to start the Mage Exam arc next time.

Nekomonogatari Black: Araragi breaks into Hanekawa’s house and finding out she literally has no impression on the state of her home scares him worse than anything we’ve seen in the series, like the guy fights ghost crabs and got the shit kicked out of him by a basketball playing yuri monkey and the sheer amount of neglect this girl faces TERRIFIES him. Ironically though unlike most busybody protagonists that’re just like “I HAVE to be the one to solve this” he does agree to Oshino’s wishes and lets him handle it… until three days later when Oshino’s been beat to shit twenty times because he’s playing the world’s most NSFW version of Wile E. Coyote with the bustiest Roadrunner I ever hope to see. Apparently it’s like the time Piccolo fought Frieza in DBZ and Black Hanekawa isn’t that strong but normal Hankeawa is just that smart that she knows all Oshino’s traps before he springs them, him claiming she “knows everything” but Hanekawa’s own catchphrase would obviously disagree with that. Dejected, Araragi goes to lick Hanekawa’s desk in remembrance of her tits, you know, normal teenage boy stuff. Black Hanekawa shows up through sheer force of “Bro wtf are you doing” vibes and gives him the general gist of what we got from her motivation at the end of the first season, telling him to tell Oshino to leave them alone or she’ll kill him next time and she’ll be able to leave after 500 more attacks and she murders Hanekawa’s parents, so that’s uhh not great.She says something interesting though and basically implies Hanekawa’s a sociopath who only does the right thing all the time not because she’s good or feels empathy but because through her sheer emotionlessness she can accurately pinpoint what the right thing to do in situations is and does it to keep up appearances and thus she can’t be preyed upon by spirits who feed off her fucks because she has no fucks to give. I mean at that point idk, what’s the difference? The good shit is still getting done and if Hanekawa’s not doing it for any emotional payoff or catharsis if I remember my Categorical Imperative correctly that’s MORE morally good than doing it for the ‘right’ reasons and while Kant’s kind of a weirdo in that regard you can’t really argue with the results like is that something Hanekawa should feel bad about if the cat gets buried at the end of the day? Maybe that’s what Black Hanekawa sees and sympathizes with idk. Either way the conversation ends with Araragi resolved to stop Black Hanekawa and set Hanekawa free even if it kills him. Like this is the kind of shit that makes Araragi so hard to parse, like on the one hand he is easily on the scummiest spectrum of scumbag protagonists with underage shenanigans that put Made in Abyss to shame but on the other hand sometimes he’s just so fucking cool and able to leverage his usual scumbag behavior to get people to underestimate him, this is why I keep going back and forth on this series.

[jodigitaldiary]

no. 2

For christmas, one of my cousins got me a copy of Ling Ma’s 2018 novel, Severance. It’d been on my book list for what feels like years, and I don’t quite know why I’d never gotten to it. It’s 7 january 2024 and after a weekish of reading, I’ve finished the book! This is an impressive pace for a habitually slow reader like myself, and I will use this as a testament to how absolutely captivating this story is.

First of all, I love Ling Ma’s style of prose. She’ll write the most dramatic anecdotes, for example, about the protagonist’s relatives in homeland China or some life-altering event back in New York, and then punctuate each paragraph with a sentence so unexpectedly succinct that it emphasizes the emotional effect. It’s like the literary equivalent of trauma-dumping and immediately following-up with, “but idk if that makes sense lol.” There’s something about this stylized irony, this intentional juxtaposition that I find particularly impressive – it’s unpretentious and all the more powerful because of it. ((I’ve subsequently added her collection of short stories, Bliss Montage, to my list!))

And second, Ma writes Severance as if she’d known me for my entire adult life and used her observations of me as firsthand source material for the story of Candace Chen. I read about her romantic endeavors and career cynicism, her untapped creative passions, her loneliness, and all throughout I thought – this is literally me. I’ve been the girl who walks the perimeters of New York City to escape her own feelings. I am the girl who got sucked into a soulless corporate job and now feels trapped in its confines, knowing it’s all bullshit and self-imposed but clinging to its normalcy, nonetheless.

There is one character that, much like Candace was, I’m inexplicably drawn to. Jonathan. He’s a textbook Greenpoint hipster – he quit his office job to write freelance and he has a flip phone. His bedroom floor is decorated with books from philosophers of old and three “neatly stacked” piles of “jeans, underwear, and white t-shirts” (Ling Ma 49). His ideal life is one that is unjaded by the hustle culture that infects every facet of capitalist America. In one chapter, he poignantly says, “If you are an individual employed by a corporation or an institution … then the odds are leveraged against you. The larger party always wins. It can’t see you, but it can crush you. And if that’s the working world, then I don’t want to be a part of it… I work enough to get by… Most of all, I want my time and my efforts to be my own” (Ma 137). Part of Jonathan’s appeal is his delusion – he actually believes there’s a way out of the socioeconomic limitations imposed on us commonfolk by the powers that be. It’s not God sitting in his castle of clouds, controlling his constituents on earth with an altruistic hand. Instead, the oligarchical collection of corporations gathers in a conference room and decides for us our wants and needs. There is no altruism in this realm, only profit-maximization. And so, I envy Jonathan’s ability to avoid reality; he believes in his dream for true independence and individuality so innocently, but with such strength that he actually pursues it. Meanwhile, the likes of Candace and I must accept that we can never follow Jonathan on that road not taken – that isn’t the life for an immigrant couple��s daughter.

Works Cited

Ma, Ling. Severance. Farrar, Straus and Giroux. 2018.

[dead-loch]

Can the writer’s and actor’s strikes help other industries? What I mean by this is things like providing meals while working, I’ve noticed most if not all productions are still masking (so how is that enforced etc), and various people who are employed specifically to help in certain situations (intimacy, stunts, safety, etc).

I feel like the simplest thing (providing food) could make such a huge difference, especially in service industries and jobs that only pay minimum wage (and those companies and corps should be paying a liveable wage rather than minimum but that’s another post).

I know unions are supposed to do some of this (providing of safety (physical and otherwise) for employees) but unfortunately some unions are better than others. Both jobs I’ve worked with a union were very clearly working in the interest of my employer and not me, so I’ve had a hard time trusting unions in general (one of them ignored reports of sexual harassment and assault until it finally came out in the news and only then did the union get back to me - to cover their ass).

I feel like a lot can be learned by the way productions are run. I’ve listened to the Office Ladies podcast since it started and the way the actors report feeling safe and comfortable and looked after on set felt so alien. I have never felt that way at work. I have gone to work starving and left work starving. 99% of my managers and supervisors and whoever else have only ever been looking out for themselves and/or “the company” (/organisation/whatever).

Seeing how actors are taken care of on set (I’m not talking about the corporations rn btw I know they don’t give a shit - I’m talking about those working with the actors on a daily basis) on many productions just has me asking: “why don’t the rest of us get this?” I keep getting stuck on the fact that they have meals provided, which could help SO many people. If I’m devoting 8, 12, 14 hours a day to you, why can’t you provide food?

Idk I’ve been thinking about this for a long time but it’s still not a fully formed opinion, cause I don’t know how or if it could be enforced with a lack of unions (who actually give a shit) to do the enforcing.

[ry0chann]

eventful commute

Pick Your Poison Event week 1: businessman!Ryomen Sukuna x intern!fem!reader

↝ genre: smut, modern au

↝ word count: 3.5k

↝ warnings: ⚠️ nsfw!! , public sex, superior/subordinate relationship, age gap (y/n.20, Sukuna.40), accidental groping, coaxing, slight (?) perv!Sukuna, dubcon, clit stim, slight degradation, fingering, subtle size kink, vaginal penetration, creampie

↝ summary: You happen to run into your boss on the crowded subway, the same man who you happen to be a little too fond of. Small talk ensues until the train stops short, causing your superior to accidentally touch you somewhere he shouldn’t have. Despite your flustered state, you can’t help but grow a little needy from the contact. Tension quickly builds and you eventually get to experience a fantasy you’ve been dreaming about.

↝ notes: idk how possible it is that you’d actually get away with any of this in such a congested atmosphere, but it’s fantasy, so let us pretend, shall we

It was too damn early to be on a train this crowded. There were barely any seats left as you and everyone else piles on, leaving you no choice but to stand right in front of the doors. Irritably, you sigh, keeping your eyes on the windows as your commute begins. The ride would unfortunately be a long one. This new internship of yours wasn’t very close to home, but it was paid, so you’d endure the lengthy ride. You’ve been working for this corporation for a few weeks now, but the distance between your apartment and your workplace would never be something you’d get used to. 

Work was bearable at least. Not necessarily because of what you did— simple errands and paperwork, usually— but rather because of the people you worked with. Over the little time working there, you made a friend or two with the employees. You also found yourself gravitating towards your boss, though those feelings were anything but platonic. The two of you didn’t interact much, there wasn’t really any reason for you to. Whatever little interactions you have had, however, were enough to keep him in your thoughts.

It wasn’t often that he’d come into the office where you were specifically, but you’d see him frequently in passing. He was attractive, more than you would’ve liked him to be. It was wrong of you to view him as being something of a “sexy superior,” but everything about him had you swooning. He was much older than you, yet that only made you want him more. Something about the way he carried himself, so prideful and confident, had your heart speeding every time you saw him. 

This boss of yours radiated a sexual energy you couldn’t seem to ignore. His sharp eyes and charming smile, the way his muscles would peak through his suit, god and his hands. The thoughts that’d flood your mind whenever he’d hand you papers were anything but modest. To say the least, he’d fluster you without even trying. There were a couple times you thought you saw him looking at you, in an almost admirable way, but you figured your eyes were playing tricks on you. Not that it’d be a problem if he was in fact staring, if anything, you wanted him to be. Unfortunately, it’d be too risky to act on whatever the hell you felt, so you’d avoid acting on it. 

All these thoughts were distracting you from the boring ride to your job, that was until the sound of your name being called out brought you back to. You turn around to find the source of the sound, and are greeted by none other than the one person you had been thinking about the entire time; Ryomen Sukuna, your notable superior.

“S-Sir, good morning.” you chuckle nervously, “I-I didn’t think you took the subway.”

He laughs, the delightful sound reverberating around you despite the minor noisy chatter. “I decided to take the long route today. I’ve got a meeting I’d rather not attend early.”

The subtle smirk on his face contradicted the seriousness of his statement. You knew he wasn’t too fond of meetings, he’d complain about them constantly. He was lucky he was of such high status, or else his late arrival would be something that’d hinder him. 

You nod, giggling. “I see. W-well it’s a nice coincidence to run into you… B-because I take this route everyday, a-and it’s quite boring not having anyone to talk to…”

He gives you a slow, attentive up-down glance, that charming smile remaining prominent in his expression. “Glad I can be here to entertain you then.”

The two of you fall silent, but are soon speaking again when you remember you had something to show him. There were some files you needed his permission on to fax, deciding to use the time you had now to ask him about them. You turn back around towards the doors to grab your bag from the ground, sifting through it to find the paperwork. As soon as you find them and straighten out your posture, the train makes its first stop, startling you. The man who you had been speaking to moments ago was suddenly flush against your backside, his palm lightly groping your ass. 

Your face heats up and your heart begins to beat rapidly. His arm securely wraps around your waist, pulling you closer as people begin to flood out of the subway.

“Sorry darling,” he whispers in your ear, the hand on your rear moving to your waist to keep you close to him. “Don’t want you getting trampled.”

A minute or two passes and the doors eventually shut. Sukuna releases his hold on you, quietly apologizing again for the suddenness of his actions. Too flustered to think straight, you put your papers back in your bag, keeping your back towards your boss. While he might’ve purposely held you against his body, grabbing your ass was certainly not intentional. 

You could feel his presence behind you, he was much closer than he should’ve been. Your heartbeat never steadied and your face was still flushed, when you felt his breath tickle the shell of your ear.

“Forgive my behavior y/n, I promise I didn’t mean to grab you like that.” His voice was deep in your ear, admittedly giving you butterflies.

“I-it’s alright…” you murmur, trying not to lose your composure.

In all honesty, you’ve been dreaming of the day he’d touch you like that, though this wasn’t really the way you imagined it would play out. It was suspicious that you were no longer looking at him or continuing your previous conversation, but he wasn’t dumb. He must’ve been able to tell he flustered you, because he remained directly behind you, close enough to smell your perfume.

“You know,” he began, a sudden sultry tone to his low voice. “Had we been anywhere else, I would’ve at least asked to do it.” 

“T-that’d be very u-unprofessional Sir…” you rebuttal, nearly losing your mind at the mere thought of him groping you any firmer than he did.

He chuckles deeply, that familiar sound doing you in. “Ah,  but you want it, do you not?”

Your eyes widen, mostly because he seemed to have found you out much quicker than you would’ve liked him to. Were you really that obvious? All those stolen glances and lingering stares whenever you’d see him in the building. Did your eyes really give you away that much?

Your glare remains glued to the windows, your chest rising and falling faster than normal. “I-I don’t know what you’re talking about…” 

His hands unexpectedly find your waist, his voice somehow dropping to another octave.

“I see the way you look at me sweetheart. It’s flattering, to say the least. Makes me wonder what’s going through that pretty head of yours…”

You shudder, embarrassingly feeling aroused by his callout. If he actually knew the things that bounced around in your head whenever you saw him, you’d most definitely be reprimanded. Why did he even feel the need to bring it up? Was the feeling mutual? No, it couldn’t have been. He was just trying to get you to react, presumably. Unfortunately for you, you had fallen victim to that trap. His hands were still holding onto you, every breath he took being close enough to your skin to give you chills. 

You chew your lip, attempting to find the right words to say. “S-sir I…”

“I’m correct, aren’t I?” 

His tone was very matter-of-a-fact, as if he knew he was right. He was, but admitting that to him would do nothing but humiliate you. Your head was spinning, thoughts scrambled as you struggle to form proper sentences. Why did this have to be happening now? Having his hands on you was enough to make you wet, which wasn’t really ideal knowing you were on your way to work. Perhaps he was doing it on purpose, fully aware of the affect he had on you. He wasn’t letting up either, gripping you a little tighter and making you squeeze your thighs together.

“Enlighten me y/n, do older men do it for you? Hm? Because I can hear how heavily you’re breathing, and I have an inkling that you might just be enjoying this.”

It took everything in you not to whimper in response. He was driving you crazy, that almost erotic note to his voice making your sex throb. It was sinful, the way your imagination was running wild right now. You muster up the courage to speak, the blush on your cheeks not lightening up in the slightest.

“O-only you Sir… Only you make me this nervous…”

He groans with satisfaction, the sound giving you goosebumps.

“Is that right? So if I were to,” his hands slip under your blouse slightly, the warmth of his palms now resting against your waist. “Continue touching you like this… Would you like that?”

You gasp lightly, immediately nodding your head and mumbling a shaky “yes Sir.” Impulsively, he kisses your neck, smirking close to your skin. For a moment, you nearly forgot where you were. To say you were nervous would be an understatement. There were tons of people on the subway with you, any one of them susceptible to seeing this affair. It would’ve been smart to stop him, to tell him not to grab at your skin and bruise your neck. If only it were that easy. His tongue would lick up your neck, that alone being enough to make you hold back a moan. He knew exactly what he was doing, pulling your ass back against the growing tent in his pants as he left hickies on you, just to get you riled up. 

Your eyes flutter shut, heart drumming aggressively in your chest while you let him feel you up. Whatever his goal was, you were certain he’d achieve it. You practically turn to putty under his touch and all he was doing was rubbing at your sides and kissing your neck. Maybe you were so whipped because you had a crush on this man, his touch felt intoxicating. You would’ve loved to turn around and have him force his tongue down your throat, but you knew that’d be a bad idea, knowing your environment. Not that what was currently happening was any better than that.

Distracted by his lips, you barely notice one of his hands sneaking into your skirt. Without thinking, you moan out his name when you feel his fingers press against your clothed clit. His reflexes were quicker than you expected though, his palm quickly clamping over your mouth to prevent the noise from fully coming out. A few heads turned in your direction, Sukuna, then being smart enough to play it off like it was nothing. 

“She’s feeling a bit ill. Motion sickness.” he chuckles, getting the strangers on the train to disregard you both.

“Gotta be quiet, doll. Wouldn’t want to bring any more attention to us.” he teased in a hushed tone, increasing the pressure of his fingers.

You buck your hips, whining behind his hand. It felt so good, the way he’d circle your hard nub through the fabric. You were drenched by now, it was guaranteed. Sukuna could feel the wet patch on your panties, too, wasting no time pushing them to the side to toy with your bare clit. He glides his fingers up and down your folds, scooping up the juices that drip from you. Sukuna buries his face in the crook of your neck with a pleased groan, beginning to tease your drooling cunt. You tried not to squirm too much, not wanting to make it too obvious what was happening god forbid someone else looked in your direction. His finger dips into your hole with ease, another one immediately following it and making you moan.

“Shh baby, can’t have everyone here hearing those slutty sounds.” He starts to pump his fingers, agonizingly slow. “They’re only for my ears.”

Your eyes roll to the back of your head, which now rests on his shoulder. Sukuna’s thick digits felt so much better than your own fingers ever did. You’ve fantasized about this exact situation— maybe not in this setting, but definitely the action of him fingerfucking you till your brain goes numb. His pace began to increase, your sweet spot getting hit every time his fingers would go back in. How he was managing to get them so deep was beyond you, he was clearly experienced. Your legs would close around his hand but your efforts to stop him were proven useless. It’s not that you wanted him to stop, you just knew this wasn’t the place for him to continue. But he would, and you’d let him. 

You’d keep rutting against his hand, wanting more, needing it. If you were able, you’d probably be begging for him. He had to have wanted to hear you do it, though unfortunately you couldn’t. His large hand was secured over your mouth, muffling whatever little noises you’d let out. Part of you wished this was happening anywhere but here, so you’d have the freedom to be as loud as you wanted. At the same time though, something about this location had you on an adrenaline high. The amount of people around you, the possibility of getting caught, not knowing how much time you’d have left to fool around— every factor had your climax nearing.

Sukuna curls his fingers in your warmth, lightly grinding against your ass so you can feel how hard he’s gotten. You clench around his digits, whimpering more than you had been. The older man bites back a moan, starting to slow his fingers.

“Getting close, pretty girl?” he coos, “How about I give you something a little bigger then?”

The hand he had over your mouth moves to your throat, holding you in place as he begins toying with your clit. Your mouth hangs open in a silent moan, the strength of his grip nearly preventing you from making a sound.

“Gotta promise to be quiet for me, though. Tell me you’ll be good.” he purrs in your ear. 

He releases his hold slightly, letting you speak. “I-I’ll be good Sir. I-I promise.” you manage, your legs trembling from how close you were to finishing.

Sukuna kisses your cheek, quickly pulling his hand out of your panties and leaving you standing there feeling empty. As badly as he wanted to taste you on fingers, he wipes them clean on your thigh instead, figuring it’d be too obvious to lick them clean the way he prefered to. Subtly, he moves you closer to the doors, giving you something to “hold onto.” His hand runs up your back, bending you forward just a bit for you to be in proper position, but not enough for anyone to notice. Luckily for you, everyone else was too caught up in their own little worlds to pay you any mind. Thank god.

You hear Sukuna unzip his slacks, feeling his hands run across your ass to hike up your skirt just enough to give him access. He positions himself so no one can see him free his cock, quickly tugging your panties out of his way to line up at your entrance. He spits on his length, nudging your cunt with his swollen tip. It pushes past your slit, barely fitting in. You whimper but he’s quick to silence you, bringing a hand back to your mouth.

“Ah ah, you said you’d be quiet, remember?” he muttered, still forcing his shaft into your tight hole.

He bites his lip, only getting half way in before pulling out. His cock prods at your cunt again, your body accepting him a little easier the second time. He manages to fill you up, breathing heavily behind you while you attempt not to cream around his length. With the way he stretched you, you swore he’d split you open. In spite of the slight pain, though, you couldn’t stop convulsing around him.

“Fuck you’re tight.” he grunts, rocking his hips steadily and choking back his moans.

The pain you initially felt at first, soon faded. He was so deep inside you, the feeling being indescribable. It was so fucking hard not to cry out for him, to moan out his name like a slut because of how much you loved the feeling of his cock. He didn’t maintain that bearable pace for long, eventually speeding up, as much as he could in a place like this. Sukuna bit his lip, not wanting to let out any of his pleasured sounds that you so desperately wanted to hear. The way you were sucking him in had him bucking his hips hard enough for him to hit that sensitive spot deep inside you with every thrust. 

This was everything you could’ve wanted. From the moment you laid your eyes on him, you yearned to have him pin you down and fuck you silly. He might not have said it out right, but he very obviously wanted this just as much as you did. It made you wonder if he ever thought about you outside of work, the way you did with him. You pondered the thought of him sitting at home stroking his cock to the thought of you. You feel your cunt tighten around him at your own lewd thoughts, in addition to having him pound into you. Sukuna accidentally moans, coughing to cover it up but also not giving a shit if anybody heard him. 

“Tryna get us caught, slut?” he growled, placing both his hands at your waist to fuck you harder. “Dammit you feel good.”

You suffocate your own moans, covering your mouth, though it wasn’t as effective as it was when he was doing it. He was moving more relentlessly, working towards that orgasm you both longed for. You really hoped no one could see the way you had your face pressed against the train’s door, seeing the way you stand there flushed and seemingly helpless as your boss treats you like an object. Sukuna was just as flustered, cheeks burning and eyes rolling to the back of his head as he gets drunk off your pussy, which was taking him in hungrily. It was becoming difficult to keep yourself standing, your entire body growing weak as that band in your stomach gets thinner.

“Hurry and cum, I can tell you’re close.” he huffs lowly, squeezing your ass just to provoke you.

You mewl behind your palm, your eyes glossing over and legs nearly giving out on you. Between his impossible-to-break-out-of grasp, and the sound of his voice, you couldn’t hold back anymore. Your orgasm pulses through your body, an intense shock that you’ve never felt in your life washing over you. You sob into your hand, his larger hand covering it to ensure your moans couldn’t be heard. His arm hooks around your waist, holding you up as you quiver in his hold.

Sukuna curses through his teeth, holding you in place as he cums inside you. Your already labored breaths hitch at the feeling, thick ropes of cum painting your walls and making you shiver. He straightens you out, your body shaking as he does so. He stands there inside you until he’s empty, kissing your neck as he pulls out and puts himself away. Weakly, you fix yourself, already feeling his cum pool in your panties. He kept his hands on your hips, just in case you genuinely couldn’t keep yourself upright. 

Sukuna turns you around, finally making eye contact since this started. Little beads of sweat adorn his forehead, his pupils blown out and a shit eating grin plastered on his face. He licks his lips, admiring your worn out expression. Without saying anything, he leans in for a kiss, stealing it from you before you protest. Of course, you kiss him back, resting your hands on his chest as he pulls you close.

“Was it everything you’ve ever dreamed about?” he mumbles against your lips, teasingly.

You smirk, giving yourself away. “It was better.” 

“Of course it was.” He huffs, amused, giving you another kiss before parting from you. 

The train then stops, bringing you back to reality as you remember why you were even here. Sukuna takes hold of your hand briefly, walking off the train with you. He lets go, giving you a once over.

“Regain your composure a bit more before coming into work. Wouldn’t want people getting suspicious.” He winks, kissing your cheek before leaving you alone.

You couldn’t even contain your smile. The one thing you thought was impossible actually happened. The only issue now was what this meant for your relationship. It’s not like you’d be able to pursue anything with him. Unless that’s what he wanted. As if your head wasn’t already a mess, your overthinking was only making it worse. There were other things you had to be worrying about right now, like arriving to work on time. Your little daydreaming would have to wait.

[ @ry0m3n @themadmish @jabamibug @brumous11 @prettymoonlightsworld @ok-ryuuchii ]

[sharedtrauma]

So, what do you imagine Lucas and Max in the future?

Oohh good question !!!

Something I’m desperate to talk about and think up ideas for is how the ST characters would be in modern day. Max and Lucas currently would be 50/51. I think they’d be married by now. Lucas I feel like would probably be a science professor, like at a university level or maybe he’d be a writer. Either a non fiction writer or sci-fi writer. Max I’m a bit more unsure about. I could see her having a simple job like working at super market or shop or something since I honestly feel like she seems like the type to prefer doing what she’s passionate about as hobbies instead since it would be more freeing and just treating a job as just a way to make a living. I could see her possibly running a video game or comic shop or maybe even being a radio show host since I think music would become a very big part of her life after the Vecna incident. I really can’t see her working any sort of corporate job, I think she’d get too pissed off at her boss, the way all that fucking “trickle down economics” shit works & overall sheer boringness of it. She and Lucas strike me as the type to not “grow out of” their nerdy interests and would probably just kind of evolve with them. I can see Max (and Lucas) still being into video games and Lucas still liking DnD but in a more adult way if that makes sense. Like they’d be one of those cool older nerds in town that like the some of the same stuff as the kids around do as well as being around for the big boom in nerd culture which the younger people would find super cool and interesting as apposed to like, those nerds that never grew up and try to still act young when they clearly aren’t. Also this is really random but for some reason I’ve had this headcanon that they’d both be into Gorillaz for ages. Idk why exactly but it just makes perfect sense to me lol.

[smhalltheurlsaretaken]

"The prequels Jedi were corrupt," is something I've just stumbled upon, again.

How are they though? How? I want an example, a single example of corruption.

Do they take bribes? No they don't, not that we ever see. What would they even do with bribes? They don't pursue material wealth.

Do they influence politicians to gain power? Lol, Riyo Chuchi almost bosses Obi-Wan Kenobi, member of the High Council, around and only backs down because he makes a reasoned argument she agrees with. Padmé Amidala is literally the only politician we see getting influenced by a Jedi to a Jedi's benefit (*cough* Anakin diverting her from her duties *cough*). The Council systematically gets shut down when they try to get something from the Senate (like when they try to get Palpatine not to bring the Zillo beast to Coruscant - Obi-Wan and Padmé *do* ask Anakin to speak to Palpatine, and it does precisely nothing.)

Do they accept a corrupt leadership? In a sense but they don't benefit from it (since most of the Senate doesn't trust them, drafted them into a war they never wanted to be part of, and essentially forces them to send their teenagers into battle because they are stretched so thin) which makes all the difference. They don't enable the corrupt system because it profits them, they support it because the alternatives they have are worse (the Separatists during TCW, who are backed by mega corporations like the Commerce Guild, Techno Union and Trade Federation, and who enslave the Twi'Lek, the Mon Calamari and the Togruta onscreen, just for starters, and use weapons of mass destruction like the Malevolence or that defoliator thing they almost test on the Lurmen when Republic weapons are specifically made not to target organic beings - see the Zillo beast arc) and because the Senate has the authority to order the Jedi to kick people out (Ahsoka) or to drop investigations (Maul in s4, Kamino in s6), and can declare them all traitors. The Jedi don't have the means to go against the whole Republic, and frankly making sure politicians aren't corrupt should primarily be the job of the billions of citizens, not theirs (the 10000~ space monks who have kids to raise and Sith Lords to deal with and would very much like to spend their days meditating and being nerds ("I was going to study that!") and helping people.)

Do they lie to their subordinates to get more power? The Council doesn't lie about its beliefs, and its members actively practice what they preach (letting go of things, staying in control of yourself, protecting the helpless...) so no manipulation there, and while they do lie or cover up things from time to time it's never to achieve power or to benefit themselves directly. The Rako Hardeen act? They lie to save the Supreme Chancellor of the Republic, who, as far they know at this point, is their legitimate Commander-in-Chief. OpSec isn't corruption. They cover up the discovery that Dooku made the Clone Army to protect the Clones themselves (as stated by Yoda) and because the public would freak out and then they'd have a civil war on top of a galactic war to deal with. It doesn't benefit them, exactly, because they explicitly say they're not happy about the decision but don't see another way out. ("The right path, no. The only path.") Oh, and Obi-Wan literally tells Rex, Ahsoka and Bo-Katan about Sidious, because the Jedi aren't secretive as a rule. They share intel easily if it'll help people.

Do they seek power in any way? Ffs, when they go against Palpatine – the Sith Lord who orchestrated an entire and forced hundreds of them to for in it, along with hundreds of thousands of Clones and millions of civilians – Mace tried to arrest him twice in the name of the Senate. "In the name of the Galactic Senate, you're under arrest" and after Palpatine kills three Council members "you're under arrest, my Lord." He only tries to kill him without a trial after Sheev blasts him full of lightning for like two freaking minutes. Talk about a coup. (By the way, arresting the Commander-in-Chief of your armies when you have proof of his own corruption, when he has given himself control over the banks (Clovis arc), gotten more emergency powers (RotS), holds power over the courts (Wrong Jedi arc) and has stayed in office for longer than his term? That's not corruption, that's actively fighting fascism.)

You could argue that Obi-Wan sending troops to Mandalore is a misuse of power, but there's a Sith Lord there who could potentially tell them the identity of Sidious and this help end the war. Also, it doesn't benefit him directly since it puts Ahsoka in danger, it divides his fleet and it could get him in trouble since he didn't make the operation a secret in any way. The one time Obi-Wan does go to Mandalore for his own benefit, he does it without backup and without even using Republic property since he borrows Anakin's ship.

So maybe the Jedi are corrupt because they distort their old ideals and preach a false image of the Force? They are corrupt in the sense that they are stagnant and the Dark Side corrupted them? But... Yoda is the Order's greatest critic (see AotC) which points to self-awareness, as he's one of their most important leader, the "fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate to suffering" credo is literally how Lucas describes the Force working (see @gffa 's collection of quotes) so they are narratively correct on most of their doctrines (same goes for attachment as Lucas defines it, in opposition to love), and Yoda and Obi-Wan the quintessential Jedi are deemed worthy of immortality by non-Jedi entities. The Jedi constantly talk about how hard war is because it's against who they are at their very core ("we are keepers of the peace, not soldiers," "we are peace keepers," "unfortunately war tends to distort our point of view; if we sacrifice our ideals, even for victory, we may lose that which is most important, our honor," etc) and every decision they take is motivated by the need to protect civilians and the Order. They don't join the war, they get drafted. Hear that, Rebels!Yoda? This is why I base my understanding of Star Wars on the movies and TCW alone, aka Lucas' canon. I swear, idk wrote that part about "the Jedi joining the conflict swiftly in their arrogance" but that's not what happens in the movies. They literally go save a high profile politician and two of their own from unlawful execution and try to arrest Dooku for being a terrorist (he hired people to kill a political opponent) and a threat to the safety of the Republic (he's literally manufacturing entire armies and talking about going to war), and 200 of them get slaughtered for it, and then they get drafted as Generals despite having no military expertise and they can't say no because again, the Senate can (and would) label them as traitors, and if they don't fight the Clones have people like Tarkin leading them. (You know, just the guy who later commits genocide on a whole planet.)

Seriously, I want one, just one concrete example of the PT Order/Council being corrupt, because it's such a common accusation that surely it must be grounded in canon somehow. Right? Right?

[mercurytrinemoon]

On houses, house rulerships & how ya'll should stop associating them with signs + a rant on the meaning of the 8th house

This is one of those moments where I'm going to say (read: rant, so heads up, I may sound pretentious) that modern times keep distorting astrology. I’m talking about associating houses with signs/planets (aka the “12 letter alphabet”, briefly mentioned by William Lilly in the 17th century but ultimately it became a product of modern astrologers: first attempted by Alan Leo and decades later popularized and named by Zip Dobyns). Can we just... use a neuralyzer and make people forget that method? It's ingrained in people's minds because, seemingly, it's easier to learn that way - search astro basics in google and you'll see things like "9th house=Sagittarius=Jupiter". This compressed version of astrology seems more accessible and easily digestible for a casual reader and not many newbies try to even question that approach. But there's a reason reputable astrologers these days are trying to erase it from everyone's minds. Signs are traits, planets are vessels, houses are areas of life. Houses are a completely different thing + every person has their own chart with their own house rulers. You can't say Mars is the “natural” ruler of the 1st... well unless, of course, you're an Aries rising, then yeah, your 1st is ruled by Mars, 2nd by Venus and so on.

Sure, some houses share accidental similarities with planets that have been assigned to them by modern *cough*lazy*cought* approach. Example, the 3rd rules communication... oh and so does Mercury. But then again, Mercury has nothing to do with health, injuries, work - all things 6th house. 7th is relationships and 2nd is money & values... and it so happens that Venus shows our attitude towards these things. I would sometimes find myself loosely refer houses to planets, like “oh the 3rd mercurial house” just because SOME of them do fit with the characteristics... and because it's a language that is well-understood (I won't do that anymore). BUT even when I started learning astrology, I had a red light go on in my head when people would straight up go "Moon in Virgo or Moon in the 6th". It never made sense to me. These are completely different things. And I've seen some awesome astrologers who would state things like "oh Aquarius Sun is basically the same as Sun in the 11th", like nah, dude. Because why? Aquarius is the friendly type and the 11th rules friends? Because Aquarius is the big innovator and 11th stands for hopes and dreams? But Aquarius is also a rebel who's stiff in their beliefs. Aquarius is a weirdo, is the 11th house the house of weirdos? No. Aquarius likes to be independent and usually has issues with feeling of not belonging anywhere, while 11th rules communities. THAT'S CONTRADICTORY. Because they're not the same.

Want more examples? Having Venus in Aries is completely different than Venus in the 1st. What do people usually say about Venus in the 1st? That it makes the native charming, lovely, well-put together, with great manners, maybe beautiful, graceful, maybe a bit shallow. When in Aries? None of these characteristics fit, on top of that, it's in its detriment. Our poor gal Venus is uncomfortable and confused in Aries. She's like, "conquer? Swords? Selfishness? Obnoxiousness? Sparring? You're telling me to fight people? What am I doing here???" 

I think it most shows in the 8th house, which... *deep breath* has gone through so much (ironically since it rules transformation), like, there's a lot to unpack here. "tHe sCorPioNic HoUse": tell me in what way does Scorpio have to do with inheritance, death, taxes, other people's stuff? These are the og topics associated with the 8th house. And by the way, it doesn't have to be a material inheritance, because I saw people being confused by that. You can have your 10th house ruler in the 8th so maybe you'll inherit that job as a chairman in your father's corporation, along with its renowned name. Or your 6th house ruler is in the 8th so you'll inherit a genetic health condition from your parent. 

Now, modern astrology, as per usual, tried to turn it into something positive (and psychological because apparently according to modern notion, astrology can’t predict anything so it’s only psychological *eye roll*) and put its rose-colored glasses on it so they'll say things like: transformation or taboo topics - like okay, makes sense, it's an intense house after all. Like a near-death experience or a metaphorical death will be transformative and maybe hard to talk about. And Scorpios do have the tendency to go through drastic situations in their lives and to dig deep & not being afraid to uncover secrets and all that's unknown and scary for others. There you have it, some convergence. But still, Scorpio and the 8th house are two different things.

Then there's the topic of the 8th house and sex. Actually, side note, a quick history bit, the 2nd century astrologer, Vettius Valens saw sex in the 7th house - because that was the thing that happened after marriage - it represented two people coming together. In medieval times it then moved to 5th house of kids - because children-making requires intercourse, duh. Listen, I get that the 8th, as the follow-up to the 7th, is seen as joined resources; and joined everything, including bodies... or bodily fluids... (tmi?) after you get married or whatever. I don't think that makes sense in the modern times. I mean, go ahead if you want to associate the 8th with sex but after some time of studying astrology, I see it almost exclusively in the 5th as it's the house of pleasures. Simply. Besides, technically you can get yourself off and don’t need anyone else to assist you. My issue, again, comes from the root of the association with the 8th. Modern astrologers started linking 8th with Pluto and Scorpio in medical astrology rules reproductive system and so Scorpio is seen as the fReAky sEx dEMon blAh blaH (honestly, try asking Scorpios about their intimate life and they'll run for the hills abashed). So it turned out that 8th house is the "plutonian one" (I had a moment today wondering if it's plutonian or plutonic and idk anymore) so therefore it must rule sex. Well that logic doesn't make sense because everyone knows that the first and most important planet in the matters of sex is Mars but none of ya'll go and say "1st house is the house of sex because it's ruled by Aries". So no, houses are not the same as signs/planets.

12th house has a similar issue. This one has literally nothing to do with Pisces. Like, I feel bad for Pisces honestly, you guys don’t deserve being dumped into the 12th. It's a rather gloomy house and the most positive thing you could come up with it is being the house of imagination and intuition - because it rules the subconscious and partially your mind. And Pisces is usually characterized by those two. Or you could say that they're both kinda foggy in nature - 12th is the unattainable. But that is literally the closest you can get with them correlating. Other than that, 12th is hidden enemies, succlusion, illness (but mental or chronic, it's a bit different than 6th). There's nothing piscean about it really.

But I get it, open most of the astrology books and you'll see chapters called that way. Why? Because it's easier to publish something that's shorter aka simpler for the reader (actually that was one of Dobyns' reasoning behind spreading that approach). That’s why I said it’s lazy. And someone would argue that it’s easier to learn this way - because the information is compressed into 12 sections (signs) instead of 24 (signs+houses) or even more if you include delineations of every house ruled by each sign. Like, “well if I memorize the meaning of Cancer and Moon then automatically I’ll also memorize the 4th house”. But in fact, it’s so limiting in the long run and then forces you to unlearn what you have learnt, which is actually harder than taking the time and grasping the proper meaning right away. And again, with time it warps the meaning of everything.

Saying house=sign completely discredits the purpose of even having houses. And then on top of that it leads to people not understanding their own charts because they don't know the core meanings of the houses and instead look at them through the lens of signs. "I have planets in Gemini but I'm not that talkative and extroverted". Well okay, where are those planets? Are they in the 7th? Then maybe they're not talking about you but about people you come in contact with? Are they in the 4th? Well maybe it's your fam that has those qualities? The 11th? Are your friends like that? Houses are areas of your life, you can't say "Moon in the 3rd or Moon in Gemini" - Moon is "how", house is "where" - these are not the same things, even if they have a few traits in common. 

Ok, rant over, bye.