#I'll like it and be proud but after a certain amount of time I hate it

[mapleleavesart]

Thinking of changing my username

Not sure what to yet, but I've decided I don't like it.

Any suggestions would be appreciated, but I want to make sure it has a friendly/cute nickname to go with

My only idea came from a phone game I have, being "FlyingTriceratops" but the only way to shorten it would be to "Cera" and I don't want ppl to confuse me with thegunnsara or think I stole from them or something

But like. Idk what else to do without spending directly from the other great users on here, but then I'll feel guilty about it later so I'm stuck

Help?

[cerise-on-top]

How would arm wrestling go with TF141+Alejandro and rudy?? just a random thought i had and you're a great writer keep at it hun :))

Hello! I only write for four characters at a time, so I chose the first four you mentioned! I hope that's alright! But feel free to send the same request in again with Alejandro and Rodolfo, I don't mind :-) And thank you, I appreciate it! I'll keep going for a while! Probably for at least another half year or so ^^

Arm Wrestling with the TF141

Price: He doesn’t have time for something as childish as this, so he’ll likely dismiss you when you ask him to. It’s not that he’s afraid to lose, quite the opposite he’s proud when his soldiers are stronger than him, whether that be physically or mentally. But he’s too busy for something like this, he either has to be in a meeting sometime soon or has an ungodly amount of work to do. You’d need to either rope Soap and or Gaz into this as well for him to actually consider arm wrestling you. Plus the two or three of you need to be very annoying about this as well. If you promise to shut up about it, he’ll allow it and fight you, but not for long. Truth be told: You’d need to be very strong in order to win against him. Out of the TF141, he’s the second strongest and doesn’t relent easily either. He does have some pride as well. Try as you might, without some good amount of muscles you likely won’t win. If you do win he’ll sigh and ask you if you’re finally happy, if you’ll finally leave him alone after this. Do that, you have enough to brag about like this as it is. However, if you lose he’ll give you a look that screams “I told you so”. Despite him knowing that that will only spur you on to do better, to finally beat him, he will give you some advice on how you have a better chance at beating him. After all, he needs his soldiers to be at their best, physically and mentally. He won’t train with you, but if you’re really determined to beat him then you can train with either Soap or Gaz. They’re not as strong as him but it’s better than nothing.

Gaz: Oh, he’s down for any challenge. However, unlike Price, he’ll be a little shit about it if you lose, giving you some sarcastic comments about how strong he is. He doesn’t mean it in a bad way, but he does like the accomplished feeling of beating someone at something many people are better at than you. Gaz isn’t among the physically strongest soldiers out there, but he can use his noggin better than most of them, so it’s not uncommon for him to lose against Soap in an arm wrestling match. It gathers quite a crowd from time to time as well since the two of them can be at it for more than ten minutes at a time. Gaz usually loses, which hurts his pride a bit, but he doesn’t sulk too long about it. So you losing to him feels good to him, but if he goes overboard with his comments he’ll apologize and make it up to you somehow. However, if you do win, then please don’t make too much fun of him, he hates it enough as it is. He’s not mad at you if you do win, he’s far too mature for that sort of thing, but you don’t need to rub salt into the wound. But you can be certain that as soon as you’ve asked him twice for a match that he’ll come to you from time to time and demand a rematch as well. He’s just that eager to finally score another win against one of the soldiers on base. He’ll be annoying, but it’s kind of endearing just how ambitious he is, you gotta give him that. Once he finally does win against you he’ll give you a big smile and shake your hand. If you’ve had many matches before then you can be certain he’ll feel something bittersweet, like a rivalry that just ended. But don’t worry, he’ll continue to challenge you.

Ghost: Doesn’t want to arm wrestle with you, doesn’t care about it either, you can annoy him all you want. Unless you rope Soap into this again, he won’t even consider it. You both need to be very annoying about it, with both of you calling him a chicken for refusing you. Cluck at him as well and he’ll give in eventually. He’s quiet the entire time, the only thing showing he finally accepted your match would be him waiting at the nearest table for you. The two of you would gather quite the crowd, with lots and lots of people coming to watch you. After all, who wouldn’t want to see that? The Ghost potentially getting his ass kicked at an arm wrestling match. Again, you’d need to be exceptionally strong to beat Ghost, he’s the strongest out of the four. If it’s obvious to him that you’re struggling to keep him at bay, he’ll toy a bit with you. Nothing like some harmless fun. He might seemingly give in for a moment, only to take it away from you and then beat you properly. In fact, you could try to get his hand down with both of your hands and you would likely struggle, if you win in the first place. Ghost is a force to be reckoned with. Besides, he likely won’t accept another challenge, so you better make this one count. If you win he’ll be pleasantly surprised, he was confident you wouldn’t. There won’t be anything fancy going on, aside from the cheers from everyone on base and their congratulations. Ghost will congratulate you as well. If you lose then he’ll tell you that he told you so, but won’t take it further than that. Might give you a pat on the shoulder if you did well against him, but that’s about all there is to it.

Soap: I wouldn’t be surprised if he was the one to challenge you first, actually. This guy is as competitive as it gets, so there’s a chance he’s challenged everyone on base to at least one arm wrestling match. It’s a friendly and harmless way for him to show others what he’s made of, that they better not push him around, regardless of who they might be. However, he never turns down a request like that, everyone’s beloved sergeant needs to be there for his subordinates. Plus he’s a fun guy as well, who loves a good challenge. He’ll wish you good luck against him with a confident grin. It’s not that easy to beat him either since he is very muscular, but he’s no Ghost when it comes to physical strength, so it likely won’t be impossible to score a win. Harder to beat than Gaz, but easier to beat than Price. But I reckon you should do your best to beat him since he can be quite annoying when he does win. He references the two of you having a match, which he oh so graciously won. He’s a bastard like that, who will make fun of you for a bit. He’s not above rubbing salt into your wound when you’re making yourself out to be more important than you actually are. However, he’s just as annoying when he does lose, always wanting to fight you again and again until you’ve finally lost. He has his pride and he will make a fuss about it as well when he does win. Not above cheating to get what he wants either, so he might invite you for a strong drink afterwards, intoxicate you and then have another match. But he’ll do that exactly once since winning like this doesn’t feel nearly as good to him.

[onyourowndaisymae]

Hello! If possible, could I request the Obey Me brothers + dateables and their reactions to an MC with dyscalculia? If not, it's totally fine!! I hope you've an awesome week <3 !!

obey me brothers + an mc with dyscalculia (pt. 1)

in order to get shit out in even a remotely timely manner, i've decided to now and in the future start splitting asks into two individual posts based on character group (brothers vs dateables/side characters). it was between that and shortening the posts and since i'd rather bite my own fingers off than put out content i'm not proud of, this is my solution! so let's call this part 1 to this ask. also sorry it takes me obscenely long to post i am a mess

content warnings: none

"Dyscalculia is a learning disorder that affects a person's ability to do math. Much like dyslexia disrupts areas of the brain related to reading, dyscalculia affects brain areas that handle math- and number-related skills and understanding." - Cleveland Clinic

Lucifer

lucifer is such a dad about this, like i cannot express this enough.

he knows you have dyscalculia before you even arrive in the devildom. he sees it on your paperwork before they pull you from the human realm, so he's already preparing the best strategies to assist you. he will, however, wait until you say something about it to make that information known.

he will make you bring your math homework to his office every night so he can check it. that is not optional. he doesn't care how much you hate it, because at the end of the day you need to pass. tough love, in a sense.

but, on that same note-- he's not actually mean about correcting your work. it's very odd. you'd expect big, bad, "i'll string mammon up from the ceiling on any given day" ass lucifer would be a brutal teacher, but he's really not. he knows that you brain simply does not work the same way as others, so he's extra particular about his explanations. he doesn't ever call you out in a way that makes you feel stupid. this proud demon never wants to make you embarrassed over something you can't control.

ideally, you'll come around on doing homework in his office every night. he thinks this is the perfect choice for both of you. his office is quiet and warm, with the soothing sounds of a crackling fire comforting you as you work. he can make sure any distractions (aka, his brothers) are completely out of sight until you're finished for the night. he'll also be right there in case you need any help-- he'll drop whatever he's doing and help until you're sure you've got the problem down.

lucifer is protective of this time together. it's the one time where he's certain he can do more for you than the rest of his brothers, and he's determined to prove you won't ever need to turn to them for help.

if you get overwhelmed with your homework, he's easy on you for the rest of the night. lucifer knows when to call it quits-- he'll slide your homework away across the desk and set a reassuring hand on your back. he doesn't speak as you get all your frustrations out, whether they be tears or anger. it's easy to forget that lucifer is actually an older brother. but in moments like these, full of quiet comfort as he carefully works you down from the ledge, you think maybe he's not so intimidating after all.

Mammon

oh, you're not good with math? join the club, bestie.

mammon takes an embarrassing amount of time to realize that you've got dyscalculia. like, a near impossible amount of time. you're not hiding this information from him. he's seen lucifer help you with your math homework, heard you talk about special accommodations for tests, hell, you've even said it aloud! this man would lose a spelling bee to a box of bricks.

you eventually ask him if he knows what dyscalculia is. he tries to play it off like he knows, but of course, he's not a great actor. you let him flounder for a little bit before choosing mercy and explaining the concept to him. it takes him a bit to understand that it's an actual learning disorder and you're not just making shit up to explain why you suck at math.

mammon prefers when you do homework together. in his head, he justifies this by saying he'll be close by when if you need his help. in reality, he'd probably do more harm than good to your grade. he spends most nights trying to coax you into working on homework in his room. at the very least, he'll be able to spend some alone time with you

reality is often disappointing. you do actually spend most nights doing your math homework together... at the kitchen table, while lucifer sits between you two and makes sure you get your work done in a timely manner. no talking, mammon, or he'll hang you from the stairwell by your ankles.

don't ask him for help. just... don't. you'll honestly do worse than if you had just tried yourself.

if you get overwhelmed trying to do your work with dyscalculia, mammon is right there by your side. you won't be doing anymore work tonight, that's for sure. he'll pull you into his arms, red-faced and sheepish, as he soothes your frustrations with gentle, murmured affirmations. you are so much more than this math shit, alright? don't forget it.

Leviathan

levithan simply won't pick up on something as subtle as your difficulty with numbers. even if he notices it, he'd never say anything. what if he's wrong? what if you feel bad about it? what if he offers to help you with that math homework you're struggling with three feet in front of him and you hate him for it? oh god, maybe he should mind his own business. what if he's making all these assumptions about you-- assumptions that you'd hate him for? he can't handle if you-- oh, what? you want to talk about it with him? haha, no worries. totally chill. levi's nothing if not totally chill.

you have to tell levi about your dyscalculia if you ever want him to know, or at least tell one of his more loose-lipped brothers. he's willing to talk about it if you are. but no matter how close you are, he would never bring it up first.

he's got passable grades. he'd probably do better if he applied himself, but honestly, he's far too interested in throwing himself into another anime or video game to dedicate much brain space to school. if you want to do homework with him, he'll probably opt to play a game on some handheld next to you to keep you company. he's extra considerate to keep his headphones on and stay quiet for you. he's just honored you want to spend time with him like this.

you want levi to help you with homework? are you sure? you don't want one of his smarter brothers, like satan or belphie or-- you're sure you want him? he's not convinced he's stellar at tutoring or anything, but he'll try. he brings out his own (rushed) homework and explains his thought process to you... funnily enough, helping you points out the flaws in how own work, which he can now fix before turning it in. helping you has quiet literally raised his grades in the long run.

if you get overwhelmed, levi is quick to panic. please don't cry. his best solution is to distract you. wanna watch him beat this level? wanna start an anime together to take your mind off of it? you guys end up wasting the rest of the night recreating the HoL and demon brothers in the devildom equivalent of the sims. so much for raising your grades together... lucifer is not happy hearing how easily both of you got distracted (but lets it slide when he realizes it was math homework you skipped).

Satan

satan is an observant fellow. he probably knows within your first month at RAD that you've got an issue with numbers. he might not know the exact diagnosis, but he can tell you're not nearly as confident with math as you are in other subjects. he notices you're more dodgy about anything to do with numbers. he had not intention to bother you about it, of course, but he'll watch with a bit of curiosity as you encounter these sort of situations-- he doesn't understand you, after all, and he wants to know why.

by the time you guys are on friendly terms, he'll offer to help you with any homework you might struggle with. satan gives no indication that he knows you're not the most confident in math. while he hates lucifer, satan still knows the value of pride and dignity in these situations. he waits until you approach him one night for help-- bashful, a little ashamed, all interesting emotions for him to witness up close-- and carefully guides you through the work. that's when he sees it. you have an odd way of interacting with numbers. there he notices little mess ups when counting, longer pauses mid-equation, how quiet you are as he helps you out... interesting. guess he'll have to keep assisting you for now.

when you do eventually tell him, he... i mean he basically flat out tells you he knew from the moment he watched you solve a math problem. hopefully that explanation doesn't upset you. it's just facts. one time you had to pay for something at a festival stall in cash... watching you try to calculate the combination of coins and bills you should hand over was painful.

he doesn't really mind accommodating your dyscalculia. you, at least, aren't just a dumbass with no explanation (like mammon, he's talking about mammon). satan will usually ask if you want his help before stepping in, out of courtesy, but usually prefers to handle number-related tasks himself. it just goes faster.

if you get overwhelmed with your homework, you'll see satan get really confused. he didn't think it was something that could upset you in that way. he'd sooner expect you to get pissed off and storm out, y'know? that he can relate to. he'll follow your lead on this one. what would make you feel better? if you want to power through, he'll do his best to explain everything as simply as possible. if not, he'll do something with you to take your mind off of everything.

Asmodeus

it's easy to write asmodeus off as some sort of surface-level ditz, but that's truly a disservice to the bubbly demon. he's still one of the most powerful demons in the whole realm, after all. but he's always been good at picking up those small details-- your dyscalculia is something that stumps him for awhile, but eventually, he figures out something is up.

the main problem is shopping. he'll often drag you along with him to majolish, either as a pack mule to carry his things or as a lovely little doll to try on every outfit combo his pretty little head can put together. the real issue came about as he tried to get your help calculating a running total for the items in his arms. see, asmo is quite good with numbers (new headcanon alert? honestly i'm into it i now declare asmo's a secret lil math whiz). so as he's adding up the prices, he'll shout numbers at you from another changing room and ask you for help. what's $74.36 + 189.20? quickly! oh, too late, he's got it. will you remember $263.56? now say that back to him?

when you inevitably stumble through every single number-related task, even just counting certain things in the bag, asmodeus realizes that maybe you're just not that good with numbers. not in the way that mammon is, that's just general stupidity (so mean!), but in a way unlike you are with anything else. eventually he'll stop handing off number-related tasks to you and take a couple extra seconds to do it anyways.

asmo would help you with homework, but that requires doing his own homework, you see. and considering the fact that his nails are wet AND the devildom culture reading sounds boring as hell... he doesn't have any plans to do it. in fact, he'll calculate just what assignments he can skip while still passing. if he's not going to do his homework, he'll at least keep you company while you do yours! expect quite humming as he scrolls through social media next to you.

on the rare occasion that he does in fact do his work, asmo is more than willing to help you with your math homework! he does, however, have a system. first of all, you guys are studying in his room with the door closed. not to hide anything from the others-- unless you'd like to take advantage of the closed door?-- but to keep his brothers from interrupting you. then the two of you will spread out on his floor or his bed and get to work. if you help him with devildom history, he'll gladly help you with math!

if you get overwhelmed by your math homework, asmodeus is quick to ditch school work for the rest of the evening. honestly he didn't want to do it either! he's almost excited to be there by your side and comforting you-- in part because it's him you're asking for comfort and not his brothers, and in part because he gets the chance to charm you with one of his greatest strengths: hospitality! expect an evening of pampering with no expectation of reciprocation. he enjoys running you a bath (won't even joke about joining you... this time), doing your skincare, painting your nails... it's your call. he just can't wait to take your mind off of the stress and remind you just how wonderful you are.

Beelzebub

beelzebub doesn't even come close to finding out about your dyscalculia until you tell him. he thinks watching people work is a little rude, and he's usually too busy snacking, or thinking about snacking, or planning his next food order, or-- you get the picture. and even if he did notice you struggling, he'd kindly turn the other cheek to give you privacy. he might mention something to belphie later, considering how smart his twin is and all, but it's always out of a place of genuine concern and care for you. beel is trusts you to respect your own limits and, if you want him to know about your struggles, to approach him when you're ready.

beel is the type to have a structured homework routine. he just gets too distracted when left to his own devices! his stomach can lead him to the wildest of places. beel goes to the same spot in his room every night with a mountain of snacks and gets to work. belphie is usually somewhere in the room to "supervise", mainly acting to keep his twin on task when his brain goes into overdrive. no beel, you didn't miss fangol practice. it was cancelled tonight because of the weather. is lucifer making dinner toni-- i don't know who's on dinner duty. no, don't go check. beel.

if you're joining him to actually do your work, belphie is thankful. you essentially take over his job of "beel wrangler" and allow him to sleep peacefully nearby. if you're there to be a distraction, it's only a matter of time until you're either wrangled yourself (much to belphie's irritation) or shooed out of the room until beel finishes his work.

tutoring from beel is really collaborative. you tackle each question together, one at a time, until the assignment is complete. he wants to hear how your brain processes the question-- learning difficulty and all-- then he'll share his thoughts. somewhere in there the two of you will usually find the right answer. if not, belphie's always willing to try to help the two of you.

if you get overwhelmed with your math homework, beel is quick to comfort you. what can he do to help? he's got some snacks if that would take your mind off of things. actually, these are new ones from the convenience store across town. in a couple of minutes, you're playing a devildom version (and surprisingly tamer, considering this is supposed to be hell and all) version of beanboozled. beel never guesses a flavor incorrectly. eventually you and belphie are just feeding a blindfolded beel jellybeans and watching him guess each and every flavor correctly. at least you're not struggling with your work anymore!

Belphegor

belphie, after sitting in his assigned seat next to you for exactly one (1) math class, asks if you've always struggle with numbers. blunt but to the point, i guess? he doesn't mean to be offensive or anything, but he's not going to sugarcoat it, either. he noticed you were struggling keeping up with the notes. you're welcome to borrow his if you need to.

(i feel the need to note here that belphie's notetaking is ass. he's on the verge of passing out each class period, so all of his work is slanted heavily and mostly undecipherable. it's a shame, really, because he's got good handwriting when he's awake).

he's found most often in his room or the attic curled up among the blankets. because they assume he's asleep, wherever belphie is tends to be a good study spot. sometimes he'll beckon you to join him on the bed as he tries to distract you encourages you to pace yourself. other times he's fast asleep with the lights on, leaving you to your studies on the floor or at a nearby desk/table.

if you specifically request his tutoring, he'll make time for you. sure, he'll probably be half asleep and will appear in your room to help at an odd hour between naps, but he'll be sure to come. the problem is that his "tutoring" is mostly him just telling you the answers. if you're cool with this, great! if not, he's a bit less helpful. it's best to just use him as one would the answers section at the back of the textbook to check if you found the right result and, if not, as a resource to work backwards and find your mistake.

if you get overwhelmed with your math work while doing homework in belphegor's room, he immediately suggests a break to help calm you back down. unfortunately, this is the avatar of sloth we're discussing-- any break he suggests will most definitely turn into a distraction that stops any and all progress for the rest of the night. honestly? sometimes that's what you need. sometimes you know you're going to stress beyond the point of improvement, and those nights need to be stopped before you crash. his first suggestion will always be to curl up together to take a nap. if you're interested, you should be aware that the "nap" will not end until the next morning. if you decide to be responsible and veto that plan, then you will probably both curl up to watch a movie-- your pick-- and spend the rest of the night far, far away from any math homework that'll stress you out further.

[blacktofade]

Gemtho Fortnight Day 1

Woo! Today is the first day of posting fills for the Gemtho prompts you all sent in! Due to the amount I received, I had to cut so many (I'm so sorry!!) but I hope you all have fun reading regardless. Posting is in no particular order and all prompts will be anonymous.

I'm not properly tagging any of these because I don't want to spam certain tags, but after April 14th, I'll create a masterpost with links to all the fills and tag that instead.

The prompts are copy/pasted directly from the asks I received and all content warnings will be posted outside of the cut.

Other than that? We're here to have fun. Put on your tin hats and join me, lads.

---

Prompt: prompt for the april gemtho event: either of them wearing a (hidden) remote controlled sex toy in public, controlled by the other person. was originally thinking gem wearing, etho controlling? but the other way round also works well <3

cw: rpf, exhibitionism, nsfw

Gem’s knees are already weak when she steps through the doorway of the local coffee shop, her phone clutched tightly in one hand.

“Are you there?” Etho asks, just a voice in her ear, and she reaches up to adjust her left earbud with trembling fingers as the buzzing inside her grows worse.

“Yeah,” she answers and Etho makes a noise of acknowledgement.

“Get yourself a coffee,” he orders and she has to force one foot in front of the other as she makes her way toward the counter.

The woman at the register smiles at her warmly and Gem knows she must be beet red, though she can’t do a thing about it.

“What can I get you?” she asks and Gem clears her throat, pausing to take a breath as the vibrator inside her seems to kick into its highest setting.

“How does that feel?” Etho asks and Gem ignores him the best she can.

“Just a medium latte, please,” Gem says, trying to focus as the woman rings her up, nails clacking gently on the touchscreen she’s using.

“I can’t tempt you with a slice of the banana bread we made in-house this morning?”

“You’re easy to tempt,” Etho says in her ear. “Say yes.”

Gem nods, possibly trying to answer both of them, but the barista's smile widens.

“Sure, I’d love a slice,” Gem agrees and the barista taps at the screen again, adding it to Gem’s order.

“That’ll be six fifty-three,” she says and Gem carefully gets her card out, gripping it with white knuckles when the vibrating inside of her stops abruptly.

Somehow she manages to tap her card on the reader and slip it back into her wallet.

“Would you like a receipt?”

She barely has time to focus on the question before Etho asks, “Do you miss me?”

“Yes,” Gem says immediately, before belatedly adding, “please.”

The barista smiles and passes over the receipt, which Gem instantly crumples in her grip as Etho very meanly kicks the vibrations back up to full inside her.

“Thank you,” Gem squeaks, though she’s not sure who it’s directed at, but she quickly steps away, grabbing onto the nearest chair to sit while she waits for her order.

She sags over the table, taking a breath as Etho laughs in her ear.

“Doing okay?” he asks and Gem crosses her legs and tries to sit as normally as possible.

“No,” she whines, and Etho laughs again.

“Want me to turn it down?”

“No,” Gem repeats and Etho makes a noise, like maybe he’s proud of her.

“Should I make you come before your coffee is ready?”

“Etho,” she pleads quietly and Etho hums thoughtfully.

“Y’know,” he starts, and she shuts her eyes, knowing he’s about to ruin her. “If you don’t come now, I’ll make you scream when you get home.”

Gem folds her arms on the table and rests her forehead on top, groaning quietly. “You’re trying to kill me.”

“Just a little,” Etho agrees, and she hates that she can hear the smile in his voice.

[halfetirosie]

🥥🤤🍖 Damn it, now I'm hungry... 🍖🤤🥥

(Exercise 14 - 16 React-os!)

1) Ah, yes, a man a few words... 😅

I mean, to be fair, I assume Quincy has only ever participated in purely physical contests, so he might not know that he's supposed to elaborate?

---I'm not the only one that read that a "magikarp" for a second, right??

Rei must still be suffering from the Pokemon Curse--first I misread his real name as "Jolteon," and now this! 😅😅😅

2) EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW!!!!! 🤢🤢🤢

YOOOOO WTF?!?!?! (⊙ ᗣ ⊙)

I assume that this must be similar to how people will eat octopus tentacles, which still move after death? BUT I WOULDN'T EAT THOSE EITHER!!!! Dead things should stay dead!!!!!----And I think my gag reflex would jump into overdrive if my food starting moving around in my mouth!!!!!!

Poor Eiden is fighting for his life here, stretching as far as he can to find something nice to say about this meal from HELL!!!!!

3) Vegetarian surprise!

(I thought the veggies would be a side-dish or a component of the meal, not the entire meal.)

At first I thought, "What do you mean by 'the limits of nutrition'? Is there such a thing as too much nutrition???"

But then I remembered that, YES, that is a very real thing! Consuming too much of a certain vitamin/mineral in a short time frame can actually be super dangerous to your health!

(I only remembered this because of a video essay I saw a while ago about a corrupt company in...I think South Korea??...whose upper executive would sometimes force employees to take huge amounts of vitamins, which made them get diarrhea/puke. It's fucked up.)

4) NEVER IN MY LIFE HAS THE EMOTIONAL_PIANO.MP3 BEEN SO TERRIFYING!!!!

Kuya continuing to reach new levels of evil; weaponizing Garu and Yaku's goodwill and cuteness against Eiden!!! 😈

Foxy Grandpa for sure put some of his weird-ass magic on the meal, like that tea that causes hiccups. 100%.

🤦‍♀️ Yup, it figures. That was a bit too obvious...

But fuck, Garu's sincerity here is too muchhhhh!!! How has he gotten this far and still trust Kuya's bullshit????

5) HELL YEAH, IT'S THE WORKAHOLIC DREAM TEAM!!!

I said it before but I'll say it again; these dudes are coordinated as fuck!!! They're giving such a damn professional presentation of their dish without missing a beat---like they rehearsed it!!! (Honestly, I bet they did.)

LOOK AT HIS SMUG GRIN!!!!

HE'S TOO GODDAMN CUTE!!!! ♡♡♡♡♡

6) Edmond, my love, I hate to break it to you, but...

....there is NO WAY IN HELL that anyone else will want to consume that "special honey sauce." ♡♡♡

....Scratch that---I don't think they'd even be capable of consuming that sauce at all!

If he can smell the sauce from a distance, then WHAT IN GOD'S NAME is in that sauce????

IS IT JUST HONEY WITH EVEN MORE SUGAR ADDED INTO IT???

....Don't answer that. I'm getting a cavity just think about it....

7) Awwww, look at them all pampering Garu!!!

Rei might deny it, but he really does live up to his nickname of "Big Bro Rei!" It's adorable!!!

⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

8) Peepaw Kuya back at it again with his sensitive palate! 😂😂😂

And Olivine is seriously too nice!!!

9) OH SHIT!!!!

🚨🚨🚨PEACEFUL YAKU/DANTE INTERACTION!!! 🚨🚨🚨

WHERE DANTE ISN'T ACCIDENTALLY MAKING YAKUMO GET STRESSED OR CRY!!!!

Is this the first chill interaction we've seen of these two so far, or am I not remembering a different one? Whatever---

All the Yaku/Dante shippers rejoice!!!! 🎉🎉🎉

Shoutout again to From the Earth, Necatar, which lives in my head rent-free!

10) Not gonna lie, I'm pretty disappointed that we didn't get to witness Quincy grill...

I guess Dante's too proud to give up his role as Grill Master; instead Quincy's in charge of "crackin open a cold one with the boys!"

....Unrelated, but I'm not the only one that expected Quincy to break open the coconuts with his bare hands, right?

11) HELL YEAH, MY BELOVED "PESKY LITTLE FIEND" WON THIS ROUND!!!!

I mean, I knew he would, but the confirmation feel nice. :D

12) !!! Oh??? 😮

Have we ever seen Karu's face look that scared before??? I feel like we haven't, or it's at least been a while!

13) Their bickering is as charming as ever---

It's a little hard to tell, since Danteis up to his Tsundere Bullshit™ and hell-bent on victory, but I'm pretty sure he's having the time of his life right now.

In fact, I think Dante's competitiveness is a sure-sign of that. Getting caught up in a silly contest is his way of having fun, you know?

It's like when he kept competing with Edmond at the festival games during Chase the Rainbow. He gets himself immersed/invested in something inconsequential, and has a good-ass time!!!

(˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶)

14) Honestly, this part completely went over my head at first... 😅

I honestly don't know if Eiden's response was enough to confirm that he's secretly on Dante's team. Hell, I haven't even been theorizing about what Eiden's team might be or what his secret conditions are.

Usually I might've been trying to figure it out, but I feel like we've been given absolutely no clues in the story so far...Also, I have been hella busy lately---that's why my reaction posts have been slower lately---so I'm quite low on brain juice.

Idk man! This event is just so laid back, I don't feel the need to try so hard to figure it out. 🤷‍♀️

I'm just here to have a good time!

ദ്ദി(˵ •̀ ᴗ - ˵ ) ✧

🍖 End of report! 🍖

[cosmica-galaxy]

i need to hear more about the madcom boys in slime rancher please!

This ask is in regard to THIS previous post I made.

To elaborate on this idea, I think each of the boys would have their own personal slime companion or a certain slime that they bonded with.

Hank would have a Tabby Slime that he dresses up in ninja gear. The tabby slime would be just as active or happy as any other slime. Regularly playing with Hank or other slimes while Hank moves about the Player's ranch. How they met was that when Hank went out to the dry reef, this slime just kept following him. No matter what he did to it, it would come back and 'harass' him. Eventually, he gave up and became his partner because of their perseverance.

Sanford would have a Boom Slime that he's given sunglasses to. Sanford loves exploding stuff and this was no exception. They were easily his favorite slimes, and despite the numerous times he got slightly injured from the explosions, they weren't all damaging. But one day he just happened to meet a rather proud boom slime that wanted to show him what guts it had. It had gumption and he had to admit, every time it blew up, it hurt just a little bit more. Keep it up, little bomb!

Deimos would have a mischievous Rock Slime with a baseball cap. The rock slime is notorious for causing trouble and being different from its peers. Unlike the other slimes, this slime seemed to seek out Deimos in particular. Regularly "bullying" him when he goes out into the dry reef. One day, Deimos managed to catch it, feed it a heart beet, and the two have been inseparable ever since.

Doc would have an affectionate Honey Slime that likes to sit in his lap or on his shoulders. Surprising the doctor by not being sticky in the slightest. How they met was actually that the slime approached him while he was doing a field study in the moss blanket. It just...simply wouldn't leave him alone and he slowly got attached to it. One day he decided to bring it home after a tarr outbreak occurred in the moss blanket and his worries for his little honey slime buddy became too great.

Other than what I have already stated in the previous post, I think I'll elaborate on the AAHW side this time!

Jeb is equally as bombarded by the world of Slime Rancher as any of the other grunts. His eyes visibly squint at the sheer amount of colors and the constant happiness that radiates in the land is almost nigh sickening. But...strangely there is a certain beauty to this land of bouncy giggly slimes. In fact, during the night you can find Jeb outside just watching phosphor slimes fly about the Far Far Range and he will comment that they are all beautiful in their own unique way.

The Sheriff is no stranger to wrangling up some rather rambunctious individuals and slimes were of no exception. In fact, he may actually like the Far Far Range and the world of Slime Rancher more than his own universe. It feels more homey to him than Nevada ever did, strangely enough. Wrangling slimes for a living just seemed to fit his much more laid back (cowardly) lifestyle than leading a group of mercenaries and murderers. He may not have much authority here in the range, but he definitely seems happier.

Tricky HATES it here. He can't kill ANYTHING and everything that he tries to kill just KEEPS COMING BACK. Tricky is easily sent into violence withdrawal and pretty much has a few episodes of rage and depression. He's moody and wants to go back to Nevada as soon as possible. The only things keeping him insane enough to tolerate this world is the Player and senseless murder of slimes. The incinerator actually has to be picked up and put away because of his need for mindless violence. Sadly, the player has to agree that Tricky needs to go back to the world of Nevada, since he seems to be too lost in his insanity to enjoy his time here.

The Auditor is a strangely special case. He shares the same sentiments of the other grunts, that this place was far too colorful and equally far too happy. The smiles of the slimes are enough to irritate the employer, but he doesn't give in to the vice of violence against them as easily. He tries to impale them on his spikes and, of course, nothing happens to the slime that he does it to. It just bounces away all happily while he silently fumes. Still...there are certain beauties to this world that even The Auditor can appreciate. The night in this universe is striking and beautiful. The stars are vivid and the sky is illuminated with the lights of many phosphor slimes. He would have to say that it was peaceful. It would be even better if the moon itself wasn't smiling at him as well.

Now for their slimy partners!

Jeb would actually be one of the few grunts to have a Phosphor Slime. Except his partner is strikingly different from other phosphor slimes. Having a halo and angel wings, similar to him. They happened to meet one cool night in the far far range when a lone light approached him and the slime seemed to view him as similar to them, hanging around his halo. Jeb found their presence comforting and took them into the grotto to stay during the day. Once night falls, the slime emerges and both he and it go on a long night walk together.

The Sheriff would have a Hunter Slime. One day, he happened to be walking through the mushroom area of the moss blanket when he was pounced upon by a hunter slime, starling the poor sheriff. But once he knew he wasn't being jumped by a feral slime, he relaxed. The hunter slime in question seemed to become enthralled with the sheriff and even stole his hat at one point! Once the hat was retrieved, the sheriff decided to call the little troublemaker 'scamp' and they eventually became friends.

Tricky has an unwanted tag along in the form of a Rad Slime. This slime actually used to be very lonely because its aura caused other slimes to become ill. But not Tricky! This is primarily because Tricky is actually a zed, in other words DEAD, and the slime seemed to imprint on his ability to not feel radiation sickness. Becoming an unofficial partner to Tricky, despite the clown's intolerance or irritation. It had come back so many times that Tricky eventually just gave up.

The Auditor would have a Tarr Slime. In a strange twist of fate, or maybe a "glitch" in the game, once The Auditor actually got bit by the tarr originally, the tarr changed into an inky black color and its rainbow hue turned into a bloody red. Almost like the employer had infected IT instead. It was surprising to the employer as the turned-tarr simply looked up at him once it was converted and followed his orders regardless of what they were. Surprisingly, the tarr was very useful, especially in 'dispatching' slimes that irritated the employer. Even stranger, no matter how many slimes the converted tarr consumed, it wouldn't spawn more tarr. Plus, anymore bites that the Auditor suffered never turned any more tarr after that. It was like a one-off event. Still, the Auditor loves his beloved pet and he always makes sure to reward it every time an annoying slime is dispatched.

[beautifulpersonpeach]

another reason i'm happy for chap 2 is bts destroying all the narratives about them and women bpp. in the wild days of ✨discourse ✨ on tumblr, thank you for being the voice of reason. before i'd see people say bts avoids women because of armys, bts never works with women, bts hates women, bts has weird relationship with women, the relationships is weird because of armys. but what happened? rm worked with soyoon and now armys are listening to her music, became her fans, respecting her. jimin danced with women and nobody died. his female dancers are loved in fandom. suga has been working with women for a decade and the fandom never cared. all those bts - women theories and discourses just look so stupid now.

the same with the discourses about bts relating to other idols in hybe and general kpop. before covid bts played with txt and after covid in chap 2, bts returns playing with txt as their idol and comeback activities return to full. like normal like was always expected.

bpp my question is, where did these theories even come from?

***

Hi Anon,

It's funny, isn't it? I mean, on one hand there's always a faction of the fandom that believes the members belong to them and cannot date anyone (male or female), just as there is in every other k-pop fandom. But as you said, the talking points in certain k-pop spaces about ARMY's overall response to BTS working with women, being around women, having friendships with women, especially in contrast with how BTS relates to ARMY, has zero basis in reality.

Outside of the usual fandom tone-policing and checking y/n shippers (and taekookers), the whole idea of BTS - women - ARMY as a whole having any sort of weird relationship is a very recent thing too, because this is not a talking point I saw anywhere in the fandom before 2020. Going by some forums I was in at the time, I suspect this particular 'concern' was started by fans of other k-pop groups in 2020 and I'll just leave it at that. Like I vividly recall a Taemin stan telling me without preamble to wake up to the fact BTS is "kept away" from women. With BTS's long history of working with and interacting with women whether or not ARMY was in the picture, none of those theories made any sense to me.

It's such an odd thing to even debate or discuss given everyone can see with their own eyes how that dynamic has played out for the last 10 years. There's no conspiracy or anything to even theorize about, far as I'm concerned, because many of their female friendships and work relationships are well known.

Nobody lost their shit when Ryujin was spending time with BTS, when she filmed the reel with BTS, and afterwards when she talked about working with them. And I can list off 10 other women (at least) who this is true for too.

I hear you too about BTS working with other idols especially within HYBE. It's true that while touring in 2019 BTS was very busy and appeared 'removed' from TXT who where just ramping up, and that since 2015 BTS had focused more on curating their own content/variety shows given they'd been repeatedly disrespected and blackballed by the Korean media establishment. But they still interacted with other idols and after they clarified their plans for Chapter 2, just continued as expected. But somehow, the talking point of BTS feeling 'too proud' to interact with the rest of k-pop (by k-pop stans), that too took on a life of its own, and was made to seem more nefarious than it actually was. I still find a bit amusing tbh.

I think one reason these sorts of theories about BTS and the most innocuous things get obsessed over as fact by k-pop stans, is because for a group like BTS, those people have nothing else to say. There's very little you can actually hold against a group like BTS. And I'm not saying that just because I'm a fan. The fact is with the history most k-pop groups have, very few of them could last anytime at all in BTS's position with the amount of scrutiny on the group.

A second reason is k-pop fans relying on pre-conceived notions about a group they don't like, and then applying the worst examples of issues they've seen in their own or other k-pop fandoms, to BTS and ARMY regardless of whether it applies. For example, VIXX is in the news lately because a member worked with a broker to dodge military service in Korea, but before now that group was notorious for some of the most disturbing kinds of fan-service I've ever seen in k-pop.

Exhibits:

A female fan giving Hakyeon her thong to sign

(A lot of k-pop stans back then and today think this is cute, but imagine for a second if this was a BTS member and ARMY lmao)

*

The group members designing thongs and other lingerie for their female fans

(I mean, I can see how this could be a flex but imagine for one sec if this was in BTS's history)

*

And there's the group including a BDSM contract for their fans in their album

(Almost 10 years later and I still don't know what to say...)

*

Another example is members of Shinee saying point blank they can't talk about their dating life because their fans have told them they don't like it.

I mean, imagine if BTS did any of that today. Heck imagine if they did that years ago. K-pop stans are still making them pay dividends for War of Hormone and mixtape lyrics from 2015, even after a Women Studies professor vets their work, even after HYBE has female CEOs for their sub-labels, and even after on Blind in Korea female workers say HYBE is the best company in the entertainment sector to work for.

A lot of the talking points, criticism, or discourse around BTS sounds bonkers, especially if you know what else is going on in the industry, what other groups are doing or have done with nary a mention from the wider k-pop fandom.

It reminds me of how Jimin was getting flamed for missed insurance payments because someone stole his mail, while during the same day the news broke, Yang Hyun-suk (the guy who manages BlackPink and is debuting Baby Monster this summer) was in court after a former female trainee in his company claimed he threatened to kill her, gave her drugs, and pimped her out. If you took a look at the trending k-pop pages on Twitter or k-forums, you'd think Jimin was the one facing a sentence and not the guy that remains at the helm of YG.

Because as I keep saying, for many k-pop stans, the underlying issues are less important than who those issues are about. Apply the same thinking to the theories you see about BTS and women.

Even in the case of outright dating rumors in the past 10 years, the fandom didn't collectively lose their shit. Jennie's case being the exception because she had the double misfortune of triggering the most unhinged side of the fandom (taekookers) and belonging to a group whose fandom has some of the most extreme rivalries with ARMY, and so many from her fandom worked to disprove it as virulently as taekookers did. I consider Jennie an anomaly for that reason because there have been several examples over the years when nobody cared. For example when the dating rumors of Jimin with Seulgi from Red Velvet happened, the most people did was speculate and move on...

*

I've rambled lol, but anyway, what I mean to say is that agree with you Anon.

[tisiphonewolfe]

Hello hello! I have 5 hours of sleep in me and I feel like pestering some people. You can see this ask as a place to chat about anything you'd like to at the moment. I know that can be a big vague task so here are some silly questions to jump off of or to ignore.

What came first the art or the writing?

Which would you say has been more worth the effort to improve at personally (like both are awesome but which one fills you with that glowing shine of warmth to look at and go "yeah I made this!")

White chocolate or dark chocolate (we ain't talkin about milk chocolate here)

What is something small (or like what could be small) that you did you are so proud of and want to gush about without judgement (like made a good sammich, folded your laundry, hit a note perfectly)

Oh hi, thanks for checking in! <3 Sure, I'd love to ramble a little!

Art came first. I started learning how to draw back when I was 16-ish with the intention of making webcomics since that was my obsession at the time. I made a journal comics for a few years, and then after that made a long-form story comic weekly for about nine years. I stopped in 2021 because a) I wanted to write and b) my buddy who was co-authoring that comic with me is a busy fella these days.

It took some time to accept, but I don't think I'll ever be an incredible artist. Due to my disability, I lack a certain amount of dexterity and I can't draw for long periods of time. But! I am very happy with how much I learned over the years, and the progress I was able to make. And I still enjoy drawing character art when I get the time, and the occasional piece of fan art!

For that reason I think I'll always be more proud of my writing. I can actually complete things there, refine them, and feel proud that the progress I make is actually going towards something that (hopefully) people might someday read! That's where my shine comes from!

Dark chocolate easily takes it for me, the darker the better. I'm not so much of a fan of sweet things as I used to be - my teeth hate the sugar - so dark chocolate is more palatable to me!

Something small I did recently . . . well, I'm going to be boring and talk about my job. I work as a software dev, but due to various circumstances I haven't been given a lot of proper coding to do in months. A lot of my company's tech is moving away from the kind of back-end framework that I'm good at, so I've been in a bit of a nebulous position. I finally got given some work to do, in a language that I like, doing stuff that I understand but still presents enough of a challenge - aaand it's been going great! It's nice to remember that I'm good at the thing I actually earn money for from time to time ;;^^

Whew! This was fun! Thank you for letting me ramble for a bit, I enjoyed that!

[chdatz9000]

I posted 2,187 times in 2022

That's 790 more posts than 2021!

266 posts created (12%)

1,921 posts reblogged (88%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@thatoneguy56fanfic

@threehoursfromtroy

@korrasforevergirl

@buffyslaysalot

@lokfinest

I tagged 241 of my posts in 2022

#wwe - 159 posts

#wwe royal rumble - 57 posts

#royal rumble - 57 posts

#rrparty - 56 posts

#wwe wrestlemania - 43 posts

#wrestlemania - 43 posts

#korrasami - 33 posts

#elemental fever challenge - 27 posts

#wwe wrestlemania backlash - 26 posts

#wwe backlash - 26 posts

Longest Tag: 124 characters

#if i wake tomorrow and see that the vas for korra and/or asami hate korrasami or say some derogatory comments about the ship

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

i accidentally thought of a SMALL story of a red lotus korra and an equalist asami.

god damnit. I don't really enjoy the trope but......i found out lyrics of a certain song...and damnit...now i can't stop thinking about it

15 notes - Posted March 26, 2022

#4

LISTEN

Sanguinet...

I'll give you a squeezer any time, bud

16 notes - Posted May 29, 2022

#3

Where the Snow Takes Us...thoughts??

I caught up/finished this....AMAZING fic...

I have NOTHING but high praises for this story. Thank you so much author for providing us your fantastic story.

99% of the time I had the BIGGEST smile on my face while reading this. The Love and Care of their characters just...breaks through your screen and immediately takes root in your mind.

(more under the cut) (mostly just me rambling)

I'm gonna try to be vague JUST IN CASE.

The 1% was me fucking CRYING. FUCK. I mentioned it before but the entirety of the scene where they go to the airport together KILLED ME. It legit brought up the time where I had to go through something similar to that and ugh. I forgot those....powerful feelings and those memories and feelings (and story) CLUNG to my damn head all day.

The pining was expected honestly. lol. makes sense. I just didn't really expect the length of it. it is (currently) 35 chapters long and I expected some length before something lol. What i didn't know is that this story, essentially, has seasons.

i THINK I can boil it down to 3 or 4, depending on how you view story beats.

Season 1 was probably my favorite. It sets up everything. Everything you WANT in a slow burn and honestly met all expectations in those regards. The author also *did the thing* where they put the title in the story.

I hated season 2. NOT because it was bad or poorly written or whathaveyou. It was the entirety of the situation. The pain it caused me lol.

[SMALL SPOILER: The connection it had with the real series kinda hit me in the face once I kinda realized. The 3 years. the letters. it was honestly really well done]

Season 3 just fucking melts your heart and kicks ass. And I HAVE to spoil this because of the immense feelings I had. BUT KORRA WINNING THE OLYMPICS. I HONESTLY CHEERED I HONESLTY CRIED. THE BIGGEST SMILE ON MY DUMB FACE. I WAS SO PROUD OF IT ALL. One of my favorite scenes had one of my absolute favorite lines in it. I left a comment that was just me screaming lol. (the author was probably confused when they read it lol)

"A few clouds traveled lazily across the blue, blissfully ignorant of the life changing events that had just transpired below. Just as they’d done eight years ago,..."

FUCK. THAT'S GOOD.

And while I said season 1 was my favorite, season 3 is probably the most fulfilling portion of the story to me.

Season 4 (maybe? depending on how you look at it lol) is where we are left off. We are dealing with reality checks. We're dealing with the, in my opinion, the must surreal amount of realism, in the non fiction sense. It slaps you in the face. lol.

And we're left on a different kind of cliff hanger. No real life or death scenarios or a "will she say yes" like deal. But one that. pricks your brain on what the possibilities be. While it's more than likely resolved, i kinda see how it can be turned (even though there's 2 chapters left lol) but all that's left after all of this is what's next for our favorite couple.

honestly, after my dumb ramblings all that's really really left to say is that I am GLAD I've read this. I know that I can't do Roll with the Punches, the fucking hurt I experienced from Where the Snow Takes Us, I would imagine, would utterly be eclipsed with RWTP. In this story, the trip to the airport, took me about a day to get over it. lol.

The author has a real talent with their writing. The moods they can capture, the characters, their individual stories, the scenes come to life I tell you.

If you're reading this still. I'm sorry for my dumb ramblings and thank you so much for doing so. Read it if you haven't already. Give it props, leave comments, share it.

My only complaint....there's no more snow. put it back. there's no more snow to take them.

17 notes - Posted August 1, 2022

#2

WHY AM I CRYING WHILE WATCHING SHORESY??????

I HATED HIM. NO LOL

25 notes - Posted May 29, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

I just wanted to say

I loved the Bob's Burgers movie. Animation was beautiful and I couldn't stop from tapping my foot. And i'm REALLY glad that i'm not in the minority. It has a 86% on rotten tomatoes (95% audience score). And like. the biggest part of it for me is that I ACTUALLY want to rewatch it. I don't really do that for movies until much later.

I guess it's mostly because it's like just a (VERY LONG) episode of the show, it has that rewatchability. But there's like...5 or 8 scenes I just want to rewatch right now lol

106 notes - Posted June 1, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[kuronokiseki]

A Few Years Had Passed, the BL Genre has Changed Alot... Yet I Still Love Romantica

But seriously, if you love something, is it necessary to have a reason? xD Can't I love something merely because I want to? Like, you don't need to have a reason to like fried chicken amirite?

Ahem. Anyway. Long post ahead.

First of all, it's merely because of a certain shot.

After seeing this for the first time, I was like "This is going to be one of my faves for sure. I'll enjoy every seconds of it. I believe this is a story that I will never forget. I'll constantly look forward to knowing the two and their story more and more."

Proud to say, this still rings true even now!

I have already listed the reasons why I love them so much, so I won't do it again in this post. But for this time, I'll explain why I still love them even after several years, even after I've transitioned from a teen to an adult which would affect my tastes over time, even after I've seen more BL works... even after knowing that there are things that other BLs managed to pull off better.

Flashbacks to the 2000s which I assume was the golden age of this series, where it was the only "watchable" BL anime back then and Sakurai Takahiro did a phenomenal job in portraying Misaki. Almost all of the fujos in internet would at least have heard of this series, and naturally it was massively beloved that 90% of the fujos would hold it as the no. 1 in their top BL list. However, since it is popular, of course there will be a fraction of people who strongly hate it because of a certain scene. Hence, citing it as the epitome of toxic BL lmao.

But of course, things will constantly change as time passed, just like how it's growing evident that BL is only consumed by cishet women is a huge myth, as queer men themselves have started to voice their love towards the genre as well. And it is also possible for ppl who aren't interested in men to enjoy BL, such as the straight guys, lesbians, and asexuals.

Likewise, BL itself is also evolving - newer ones are more aware about the idea of consent although some may still clueless of how healthy relationships work (relationship is more than just sex!). While this may sound subjective, technically there are more and more quality BL works to consume nowadays. In case you are bored with the slice-of-life BL, there is a plethora of fantasy and horror BL out there to choose, moreso when you're aware of webnovel sites like Syosetu. Isekai BL? They're out there.

And it isn't just from Japan, China and Korea are also capable of producing good BL as well. Even BL is getting praised for the more genuine M/M representation compared to how it's generally done in the West (coughcough performative diversity coughcough).

And it doesn't stop there. The series doesn't even need to have a BL label, the MC can still be gay, and the gay romance can still happen despite the plot not centering around that.

There should be no reason to think that it isn't possible for two men to fall for each other nowadays, the teases shouldn't amount to nothing, which alot of non-BLs were guilty of back then. Well, I'm talking abt series that would tease two male characters together but the creators will allow them to be anything but gay for each other. The only time you'd see them as canon gay is in doujins or fanfics.

Hence, you'd only get canon gay couples from series that have been labelled as BL. Luckily, it's no longer a reasonable thing to do in 2021 onwards.

So, thanks to this new golden era of BL or LGBTQA+ representation, since there are so many quality works to indulge yourself, the Junjou Romantica series is getting outdated. I believe alot of the new generation haven't even heard of it ahahaha. When compared to other BL, I'll admit that Junjou won't even fit to be the best or the worst. I'm not saying that Junjou is bad, but it's simply because there are so many BL works now compared to in 2000s. To the point I bet they would discover Junjou because of sheer luck.

Now, I'll get to the point. Why I still love Romantica through these years? Well, just because there are more and newer BLs, doesn't necessarily mean that it is better. While it's true that there are stuff that other BLs do better such as the plot, the characters, and the art, there's something that Romantica does better than others too, in my opinion. That is, Misaki and Akihiko's dynamic.

I love how Misaki and Akihiko are characters of their own whilst loving each other very much. In many BLs I've seen, the dynamic doesn't feel equal, where the MC is generally too busy to think about the ML most of the time (to those who are unfamiliar, it's referring to the main love interest), whereas the ML serves no other purpose to the story other than being the MC's love interest. In comparison, as the MC, Misaki's POV is always 90% USAGI-SAN USAGI-SAN USAGI-SAN in every chapter although he faces different problems every single time. As for Akihiko, yea he loves Misaki so much but his character arc isn't limited to that. As outdated as the series would be, this aspect of their relationship, will always be timeless to me.

I've grown to love them so much, that I'll get happy from merely seeing them. Yea I do understand that others will get disappointed of the slow and repetitive plot, the bad art, not to mention after waiting for months for the update, spending money to get it... but all I think when looking at new acts is "OMG it's my babies I miss them so much T-T".

So yea, that's it. I don't ask much, I just want to see Misaki and Akihiko, and nothing more.

[desertofsnowflakes]

Incorrect Order Chapter 6 (Nessian AU)

A/N: I'm sooo sorry I haven't been updated in more than two weeks. I had exams :/ Also, do inform me if you wanna be added/removed from the taglist! If you happen to find my storyline similar to another fic or one of yours, I'm extremely sorry, I might've just not known. All characters belong to the author Sarah J. Mass. Enjoy!

Summary: Don't first impressions always affect the way you see someone? Well, what more with the Nesta Archeron? Nesta meets Cassian at few unexpected places and to say it didn't go well was a major understatement. Certain circumstances make them become enemies to tolerable company to friends to lovers.

Trigger Warnings: Language

1572 words | Incorrect Order Masterlist | Read on AO3 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The smile Cassian plastered on his face didn’t reach his eyes. His brothers saw that. Feyre and Elain saw that. Mor and Amren knew that. He himself did. But they didn’t say anything. If it weren’t Feyre’s anniversary, he would’ve even gone home. He couldn’t though. He wouldn’t do anything that would hurt his family. So he stayed. Smiled. Joked. Laughed. Did everything he could to keep his mind from straying to a grey-eyed masterpiece.

Az and Rhys saw, he knew. They always seemed to realise everything about each other. Even if one of them had a minor headache, the other two would know. Tonight, however, none of them pushed him. They probably thought he wanted to be alone. But did he? Truly?

He wasn’t sure. He didn’t want to be alone. That would make memories of their lunch rise. Of her shirt splattered with coffee on one day and blood on another. Of her pale form laying on his bed. Of her, enjoying his food. Of their shared jokes. He didn’t think he could take that.

He wasn’t sure he wanted to be around people either. He didn’t know if he could stay around people who laughed and teased. He didn’t know if he could laugh with them and actually mean it. He didn’t know if he could anytime soon.

Cass glanced at the clock. 3.00 a.m. He smiled. Whenever they gathered around in the living room, retiring early was totally off the table. The earliest they dispersed was four in the morning.

To his right, Rhys sighed. “It’s late,” he said, tucking Feyre close to his side. “Gotta go to bed.”

He smirked, but held back the joke on the tip of his tongue. After a chorus of goodnights, Rhys and Feyre told them they could stay here tonight if they wanted to and rose to go upstairs. Feyre laughed at something Rhys said and Cass felt a pang of sadness hit him.

Sadness… and something else. He knew he shouldn’t, but he envied the both of them. How easily they bantered and teased. How smooth their relationship was. He remembered how Feyre locked herself in the cabin after Rhys proposed. He remembered how she asked Mor not to let anyone in, especially Rhys. He sighed. He felt an amount of the jealousy dissipate. Probably Nesta would get together with him after their slight misunderstanding passed. If it did.

He got up to leave when Az stopped him. “You sure you’re going back?” Cass didn’t remember telling Az that he was going back. Then again he didn't need to. Az always saw everything. “You're not that… somber.”

Ah. Cass smiled. “I'll be fine, ” he reassured. Az still didn't let him go. “I'll send you a text once I'm home,” he tried. Az sighed.

“I'll be waiting for it.”

Cass looked at Mor, drunk and blabbering before stepping out of the house. He kept replaying that memory till he reached home, keeping his mind occupied. He was scared of what would happen if he kept his thoughts idle.

He informed Az that he reached home. He didn't know why going back home felt like preparing for a battle. It probably was a battle. Between her and his self-restraint. What was at stake here was his sanity. Cass sighed. He stepped in through the threshold and welcomed the darkness that enveloped him.

***

Stop crying like a baby, Nesta repeatedly reminded herself. Why should she cry? Nothing here was her fault. Nothing.

Not the fact that she let his charmed smiles bring her guards down. Not the fact that she felt alive when he said something stupidly funny. Certainly not the fact that she was slowly falling for him.

None of it was her fault. So why should she cry? Why should she stop herself from attending her own sister's anniversary? When it was all his fault.

She shouldn't be crying. She should be thinking about ways of exploiting his weaknesses. She should think about how she would portray him as the weak one. She should think about how she was going to make him regret everything.

But how could she make him regret it when she never regretted a second of it? She hated that this was where her thoughts went first. To scheming and plotting. She thought she changed. Did she regret her wish to be good? No. She reveled in it. No, she vowed herself, I would not scheme to make him beg. I'm not that Nesta anymore. I'll never be.

She was proud of herself. She never realised her self restraint was this good.

But apparently not good enough. Her thoughts drifted back to him. No, not him. Cassian. Cauldron, it'll take some time to get used to calling him Cassian. Or maybe Cass. Feyre and Rhysand called him that. Probably she would too. She thought about what he called her. Nes. She flushed. That stupid name did stupid things to her. She pretended she didn't like it. In fact, she loved it. Somehow, she wasn't ready to tell him that yet.

***

Nesta blinked open her eyes against the morning light. Her eyes were closed? It was morning already? Huh.

It took her some time for her eyes to adjust. She screamed at what she saw. Nesta scrambled back from the looming figure of Tomas, leering at her face.

“Nesta, Nesta, ” he said in his eerie voice. It became scarier with his sing-song tone. “My Nesta.” He paused. “Though I suppose you aren't mine anymore. You were still mine last time, you know. When you handed me over to the police. ”

She bared her teeth, opened her mouth to say something when his hand closed around her throat.

“But now, I suppose I can't call you mine anymore, can I? That reminds me. Where is your bodyguard? Or is that brute your boyfriend?” He spat the last word. His hand tightened around her neck.

“Do you know what he did to me? Your bastard. Did you know how he threatened me? Did you know that he smashed my bones, that it took me this long to heal?”

Some sort of savage satisfaction filled her. The fact that Cassian did all this… she smirked. It didn't go unnoticed by Tomas. He growled, the sound sending icy fingers ghosting down her spine. She hoped she didn't have to hear it again.

His hand around her throat pushed her farther back on the bed. He drew back, she let loose a relieved breath. A mistake.

His hand cracked on her cheek. He came infinitely closer to her, his hot, rancid breath glancing off her cheeks. His hand kept tightening around her throat and she wondered how she wasn’t dead yet. It was certainly bruised now.

“Look at you. So vulnerable. So killable. I’ve imagined how I would slit your throat. So many ideas. If only I could kill you in all the ways I imagined. But do you know what is the best way I could kill you?”

Nesta let him talk. He loved to hear himself talk. She subtly looked around her room, searching for anything she could use as a weapon. She looked back at Tomas. He wasn’t talking. Did he ask her a question?

“Tell me, Nesta. Do you know what is the best way to kill you?” Nesta shook her head, his hand pressed around her throat. Tomas smiled. She cringed mentally.

“I think the best way to kill you and make it hurt is to kill you slowly. You know what makes it better? Having that bastard watch you die. Let him watch the life seep out of you. And then I’ll kill him too.” he said and she felt the room closing in. Panic was slowly rising in her.

“Now, now,” he said. She supposed he meant to be cajoling but the effect his voice gave was the exact opposite. “There’s no need to panic. I told you I’ll kill you only when your bodyguard is there.”

He pulled out a knife. She gasped and pain erupted around her throat. Her lungs were burning.

“But darling,” he said. She whimpered. She hated this. She hated that she was vulnerable here. She hated that she couldn’t do anything when her death was slowly nearing. “I didn’t say I wouldn’t hurt you.”

Then his knife struck. Nothing hurt at first. Then, fiery pain whipped through her, beginning at her arm. She screamed. Pain. There was so much pain. She screamed so loud she pondered how the whole neighborhood didn’t hear anything.

***

Nesta gasped. Her eyes darted through her room. Nothing. No one. She looked at her arm. No pain. No scars. No blood. She touched her throat. It wasn’t sore. It wasn’t swollen. She got out of bed and looked at her mirror. No bruises. She let out a frustrated sound. It was a dream. A fucking dream. Or she supposed it was a nightmare. Still. It wasn’t real.

It was still five in the morning. Still quite early. She released a breath. She wouldn’t find a cab now but she could walk. It wasn’t that far. She fixed her hair and changed her clothes. She wasn’t going because she missed him. She just didn’t want to be vulnerable again. That’s all. She just wanted to know how to defend herself. Nothing else. So Nesta went to Cassian’s house, hoping that she’s making the right choice.

taglist: @shadowsinger07 @im-someone-i-guess @saltyfortunes @cressjacquine @champanheandluxxury @zemiraa @nehemikkele @angelic-voice-1997 @heartless--aromantic @sv0430 @irenethaleia @deedz-thrillerkilller16 @sjm-things @dontgetsalmonella @ganseys-jane

[little-lizziej]

Marinette's friends cheered as the young aspiring designer told them her dying feelings. She told herself a numerous amount of times that she was over him, that her feelings were completely gone, but she was wrong.

Her feelings weren't gone, they were hidden. Just like anyone's heart, hers needed time. She spent years chasing after the young model, she spent years loving him, and to say her feelings had banished, was a lie.

With time she'd learn how to love herself, how to put herself before. Needless to say, she was already on the way to a self loving happy life, but it would take time, and she unfortunately wasn't there yet.

Marinette's friends knew this, they understood it would take time, and that their friend probably thought she had already made it, but said nothing. Perhaps they believed that if she said it to herself enough times it'd be real, and eventually they'd believe it too.

Alya wrapped her arm around her best friend's shoulder before smiling down at her. "I'm really proud of you Marinette" she says with an easy smile, her friend returned the smile before shrugging her shoulders.

"It's nothing really" she whispered as she blushed a deep shade of red.

"It is something Marinette!" Alix, on of the designer's friend, yelled. "You were head over heels for him! You loved him, and I know finding out about his relationship hurt you. You are so strong, so don't you dare brush it off and pretend it's nothing, believe me with I say it's everything."

"Thank you guys for always being here" Marinette said and opened her arms wide, her friends ran into Marinette's arms and embraced her. They were so proud.

"I know it hurt but...now I'm just happy for him. He deserves it more than anyone, I'm just glad he's my friend."

"Oh, Marinette" Chloe gasped, "you are too precious" She lightly shook her head.

Marinette grinned and blushed before thanking her. Alya cautiously watched the blonde in front of her. Their relationship was too complicated, Chloe was rude to her friend since day one, and it was only recently that the girls accepted the blonde into the group, upon Marinette's request.

Chloe was a hard person to get along with, and Marinette highly disliked her at one point, but that all changed when Chloe opened up to her as her alter ego. Marinette had been shocked by Chole's confessions and decided to try to become her friend, no matter how hard the blonde refused to.

The girls were confused by their friend's actions, why would their friend, who had been tormented by the blonde for years, try to befriend her?

It was until Chole's friend, Sabrina, turned against her, that she finally let Marinette in. The blonde and the aspiring designer became good friends and later on introduced the blonde to the girls. She apologized for her actions and was forgiven by most.

Alix and Alya didn't forgive her at first but learned how to with time. Although quite some time had passed, Alya still found it hard to trust Chloe, especially with Marinette.

"Adrien's coming!" Rose shrieked as she tapped Marinette's shoulder repeatedly.

"Hey Marinette" Adrien smirked as he lifted his hand the way Marinette once did. "How are you?" He asked ready to see his friend stumble upon her words. The young designer always stuttered and although he once found it weird, he now looked forward to it. It no longer mattered, as long as he got to talk to her.

"Hi Adrien" Marinette smiled and waved, "I'm doing great, how about you?" Her friend's mouth opened agape, this was definitely progress.

Adrien's eyebrows lifted in surprise, although he was surprised and deep down knew it'd be easier to talk to her now, he couldn't help but miss how she stuttered and blushed whenever he looked at her, and how that only happened with him.

"I-I'm good Marinette" Adrien flushed making Marinette's smile deepen.

"That's good! Well I have to get going, bye guys!" She waved and walked towards the entrance where a certain musician was waiting for Marinette and his sister.

"Good job Marinette" Juleka grinned.

...

"Marinette your friend is here!" Sabine, Marinette's mom, yells form downstairs. With a frown, Marinette opens her trap door and steps down the stairs.

On the entrance stands Kagami, looking as perfect as always. The young designer's eyes widen as she looks down at what she's wearing, unlike Kagami who's wearing her every day formal clothes, Marinette is in her pjs.

"Can I talk to you Marinette?" Kagami spoke, her tone was serious and firm, Marinette unknowingly took a step back as her shoulders slumped in fear.  The blunette looked at his friend's girlfriend and noticed how stif her posture was.

"Yes Kagami" Marinette spoke and stood tall, refusing to be intimidated. "Do you want to go to my room or...?"

"Let's head outside" Kagami sweetly smiles as she lightly tilts her head. If it wasn't for the twitch in her eye, Marinette might have thought it was genuine.

Both girls slowly walk out the bakery and Marinette throws her mother a smile. She hesitantly closes the door and looks around, people walk by like nothing is going on and Marinette seems to get even more nervous. She'd hate to cause a scene.

"Listen Marinette I like you" Kagami whispers so low, "but this just can't keep going on"

"What are you talking about Kagami?" Marinette asks with a frown and hugs herself trying to bring some comfort to the situation.

"I've had it with you and Adrien! I'm not okay with your friendship and it has to stop!"

"Hey no!" Marinette yells, she feels the blood that travels through her veins boil as her face starts getting a deep shade of red. "We are friends and I will not stop being friends with Adrien because you feel insecure and uncomfortable! I was here before you and I have given you no reason to feel this way towards me!"

"You like him-" Kagami starts but is cut off my Marinette's hand.

"No!" Marinette's raises her hand and lifts a finger at Kagami, placing it right in front of her face making her stop. "I used to like him, but backed off the moment I found out you were together! I forced myself to let him go and move on with my life knowing it would kill me. I did that because I respect you and Adrien! When I found out I backed off because that's what friends do! They make sure they are happy even if it kills you, I knew I would get hurt and chose to put you before me. I chose to let him go because I didn't want to hurt you. That's what friends do Kagami, you were selfish!"

"Well sometimes you have to be selfish!" Kagami yelled back.

"That's the difference between you and me Kagami, I'm willing to put my friends' happiness before mine and expect nothing in return! And that's not hesitation, that's human! I put you before me, the least you could've done is respect my friendship with Adrien!" Marinette cried out as a tear made her way down her cheek. She was exhausted and extremely frustrated.

"Adrien and I had a fight over you. If you really want him to be happy, I expect you to stop talking to him. Unless you want us to break up, and break him in the process." With that, Kagami walked off disregarding what Marinette had said; along with her feelings.

...

The next day, Marinette walked to school extremely early, she didn't bother greeting anyone as she ran to her classroom and slumped down her seat. She laid her head on the desk and cried. Her hair wasn't in its usual pigtails as it was, instead, let down and all over the place.

The tears kept flowing down her cheeks and didn't bother to stop when she heard the empty classroom begin to fill. Rose and Juleka were immediately by her side asking what was wrong, and getting no answers. Chloe and Alix wanted to give her some space but still kept an eye on her, while Mylene hugged her boyfriend, Ivan, and watched her friend cry with worried eyes.

"Marinette?" The worried voice came from her best friend as she sat besides the aspiring designer. Alya placed a hand on Marinette's hair and hugged her. As soon as Marinette came in touch with Alyas comforting embrace, she lifted her head and hugged her best friend.

Gasps were heard around the classroom, no one had ever seen Marinette this way, she was usually this bubbly person who only found positive things in the world. She helped others around and made sure everyone was happy, no matter the cost.

Everyone watched her with pitiful eyes, Marinette's eyes were swollen and red as the tears just kept coming. Her lips were chapped and maybe even bleeding. Her nose was red from the rubbing, extremely irritated.

Juleka and Rose went to their designated seats when Alya narrowed her eyes. They weren't at fault but her best friend was crying and she was definitely getting protective.

"Marinette?" Someone asked again, this time it was Nino. When Marinette heard his voice a switch went off, she pulled away from Alya and wiped her cheeks before taking a deep breath. She stopped herself from biting her swollen lips knowing if she did so again, they'd bleed.

Marinette knew Adrien would walk in shorty after Nino, and she also knew she had to be strong.

"I'm fine" Marinette whispered, "I'll tell you about it later" she said to Alya and squeezed her eyes shut when her voice cracked.

"Hey guys!" Adrien smiled as he walked through the door. Immediately he frowned upon noticing his friend's state. "Marinette is everything alright?" He asked her.

As much as it hurt, Marinette knew this was it, there would be no more friendship. "Marinette?" Adrien repeated when she didn't answer him. She looked away from him and ignored Alyas shocked gaze. "Marinette did I do something wrong?"

"Can you stop?" Marinette whispered, "I don't want to talk to you...or see you!" She yelled, everyone stayed quiet, everyone knew about her crush on him and were shocked to see her like this.

"What did I do wrong?" Adrien asked again as his eyes started to water. His voice shook, breaking something within her.

"What did you do?" She laughed sarcastically, "I don't know Adrien, maybe breaking my heart! I loved you! And you chose her, and now I'm here supposed to keep a smile on my face and pretend I'm happy when I'm not! I don't want to be your friend, I don't want to talk to you or see you ever again!" Marinette's eyes widened after the words left her mouth.

Had she taken it too far?

Maybe

Would this keep him away?

Certainly

Marinette walked out of the classroom and heard Alya following behind. She didn't want this, and knew he'd get hurt. But she also knew his pain would be temporary, she had been broken-hearted before and didn't want Adrien to go though it because of her.

...

Adrien was hurt, he felt broken. He'd been yelled at by his father, instructor, photographer, girlfriend, but never had he felt this way. When he got in fights with the people he loved he got sad and hurt, but at least he could think. He could manage to think about the situation, this time he couldn't.

Her words kept repeating themselves over and over again, and it made no sense. She was in love with me? He thought, it suddenly clicked, the stuttering and blushing? She liked him!

Why would she act this way though? It had been months since his relationship with Kagami started and she had never complained, she had always smiled and acted supporting. Adrien couldn't think about anything other than Marinette, he felt torn apart and oh so broken.

He leapt through Paris' houses and spotted the sad blunette standing on her balcony. He frowned before taking a deep breath and approaching her. The first thing he noticed was her cheeks, he could see the path her tears had craved upon her reddened skin. Her eyes had lost their spark and had become dull and lifeless. She stared off into the night and kept silently crying.

"Princess?" He asked, Marinette turned her head towards him and smiled.

"Hey kitty" Marinette frowned when her voice cracked.

"Are you okay?" He asked, Marinette nodded before looking up at the dark sky, and bit her lower lip. Her lips started shaking as her eyes filled with even more tears. Her knees gave out and Adrien was quick to catch her.

"I'm so sorry kitty" she sobbed onto his shoulder.

"Talk to me princess what's wrong?" He insisted on finding his answer.

"I hurt him" Marinette whimpered, "I didn't want to hurt him, I-I didn't...I love him!"

"Who princess?"

"Adrien" Marinette whispers, "he's amazing" she lets out a sigh, "he's nice to me and is an amazing friend and I...I hurt him."

"Why?" Her kitty asks.

"Because I'm a burden, I was standing on his way to happiness. If I don't ignore him his girlfriend will break up with him, and he'll have his heart broken"

"How do you know this? How did you know she'll break up with him?"

"Because she told me" Marinette whispers as she cuddles into his chest, "she told me I had to stop talking to him."

Adrien's, or Chat noirs, eyes widened. He couldn't believe Kagami would do this but deep down knew it was true. He suddenly recalled the pain he felt before.

"How do you know you didn't just break his heart?" He asked as he looked at the sky, getting tears in his eyes himself.

"Because he doesn't love me" Marinette whispered, both Chat noir and Marinette stayed silent. Their tears eventually dried as they held each other.

"Marinette! Luka's here...and he has ice cream" Sabine yelled from downstairs. Adrien frowned upon hearing Luka's name but shrugged it off, he helped Marinette stand before saying goodbye and leaving her in the darkness of the cold night.

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[canis-lunaris]

Introducing: The Wandering Witch AU

(With transgirl!Remus, questioning!Sirius and endless conversations about the metaphysics of wandless magic)

This is the latest installment of our various Wolfstar AU's with August, one we came up with while we were on a mini-holiday, celebrating our third anniversary.

In this universe, pureblood-supremacy is rampant, keeping the Wizarding World in the permanent dark ages. Muggle-born wizards are only allowed a wand upon being accepted at a magic school, and most institutions favour pureblood children over half-blood, or muggle-born students. Wands are registered and heavily regulated, including tracking-spells and random spot-checks for counterfeit, or unregistered wands by Ministry officials.

After a werewolf-attack at age 4, Remus Lupin’s father tries to teach her magic using his own wand, knowing she would never be allowed into Hogwarts. However, performing magic with someone else's wand is not only dangerous and illegal, but also extremely difficult. Remus — a savant, who can sense magical currents in a way none of her peers can — realises that she doesn't need a wand to focus her power, and instead develops her own way of casting — or spell-weaving, more accurately —, tying an intricate web of knots between intent and the ambient magical currents to shape reality to her will. While admittedly crude and volatile, her technique turns out surprisingly potent, which makes her more than capable of protecting herself against the many dangers of a transphobic, werewolf-hating world.

Because her condition places both her and her family in a vulnerable position (the "werewolf-issue is an ages-old favourite talking point of mainstream wizarding politics, including a fearmongering campaign designed to marginalise intelligent magical creatures and eradicate non-human magic users), the Lupins decide to avoid registering their child after the attack, relying on the help of muggle medicine and corrupt healers to nurse her back to health after the transformations. They move frequently, bouncing Remus from school to school, but once Remus has gotten a basic education, they settle down in an isolated cottage on the Scottish highlands, and her mum takes on the duty of homeschooling her.

Having been brought up in a mixed family and lived the majority of her life as a muggle, Remus is well-versed in the matters of 21st century life. Once they settle into their new home, she starts transitioning, takes up Luna as her middle name, but keeps Remus as her first name, refusing to abide by arbitrary societal rules about names being connected to certain genders, rather than the people wearing them. After both her parents meet a tragically early death in a car accident, Remus finds herself alone in the world, with both a house and a large sum of money to her name; she sells the cottage and spends her parents' life insurance settlement on getting bottom surgery, then sets out to travel the world, looking for someone, or something to find a meaningful connection with.

----------

On a glance, Cassandra Black is everything her most ancient and noble house could want for an heir. She is brilliant, powerful and a downright genious when it comes to magic; the only problem is, she's a bit too smart for her own good, and no amount of discipline can keep her from asking too many questions. The only thing her bewildered parents achieve with their constant, increasingly violent punishment is that young Cassandra stops asking them, and starts looking for answers of her own.

By the time she's 11, she's thoroughly disillusioned, worlds away from the conservative, blood-supremacist doctrines she was brought up with. Upon entering Hogwarts, she spends the first free breath of her life on convincing the Sorting Hat not to place her in Slytherin, a decision she pays for with the world as she knew it. In return, she gains a new, brighter one, full of friendship, adventure and budding romance — although dark secrets, stomach-turning injustice and bitter heartbreak too. When it comes to her parents' attention that she is sleeping with a witch, their treatment turns from toxic hostility to open abuse, severing all emotional ties between Cassandra and the House of Black. She spends five years as a proud Gryffindor, but by the time her 16th birthday rolls around, she feels like she'd learnt everything Hogwarts had to offer — the good and the bad alike. She decides not to return to the castle for the sixth year: instead, she uses the start of the school year to orchestrate an elaborate escape plan, that would make it impossible for her family to find her. She breaks her wand and vanishes into the night, never to be seen again.

British Wizarding society erupts in chaos, because even one as scandalous as the Black heiress, the mysterious disappearance of a 16-year-old, pureblood-aristocrat (and a witch, for that) brings the Ministry's messaging about public safety into question, and the story keeps the tabloids busy for the better part of a year. The family puts out an enticing bounty on their firstborn's head, but regardless of the spectacular reward, no one can locate Cassandra, and without a wand to track, she proves to be impossible to trace. Eventually, the tabloids move on and the story slowly fades into the background, although, en lieu of a body, they never officially assume her dead, and the family never gives up the secret search for their wayward, blood-traitor daughter.

----------

Three years later:

Somewhere, hidden in the mountains of Scotland, there is a halfway-house, for magical folks who need to get off the grid, for one reason or another. Remus is a regular visitor, using the shelter's reinforced cellar for the full moon, and taking her time to recover at the quaint little house for a while thereafter. Nobody bothers her there, and while people do use the retreat — it's always clean, stocked with food, healing items and clean bedding, among other obvious signs of habitation —, she'd never encountered any other guests during her visits. This time, however, an unpleasant surprise welcomes her, in form of a backpack and a half-drunk bottle of wine on the porch, and soon, she finds the owner of the items as well, lounging on her favorite sunning spot.

The stranger looks ragged; unkempt and malnourished, and when they speak, their voice sounds hoarse, like they haven't used it for a long time. Remus is immediately weary, even though the stranger looks very young and rather unimpressive, expect for the very posh accent and the fact that despite their extremely strong magical aura, they did look startled, almost terrified when Remus walked up behind them — and yet, their hand never even twitched to draw a concealed wand.

"I’m armed!" the stranger warns — maybe they expected a muggle? —, but still doesn't move to reveal any weapon. Remus is quite certain she could take them on in one-on-one combat regardless, should it come to that, but she finds it alarming that this runaway teen would survive alone in the wilderness for what seems like a considerable period; a feat that requires a number of skills and the kind of training that does not come with the elocution training the stranger's speech suggests. Not just the accent, the face too... Under the layers of dirt, severe sunburn and a fading black eye, there is just something eerily familiar about them.

She introduces herself as Remus — it's one of her favourite ways to quickly size up a person, based on their reaction to her obviously masculine name. She does the whole cheeky, "whatchagonnado" act she perfected throughout the years, expecting anything from a spiteful comment to a confused eyebrow-raise in response, but the stranger just nods and gives her a polite "hello, Remus", like this was the most normal interaction between two people who just met at a shelter for magical misfits, in the middle of fucking nowhere.

The stranger, however, is less forthcoming about their identity, and Remus has to openly ask for their name after 10 minutes of tense, but idle chitchat. The stranger blushes a deep red, and once again, there is that flash of panic in their eyes, before they blurt out "Sirius... Black."

"Oh."

Of course, Remus thinks, wondering how she missed it before. She knows exactly who Sirius is, or who they used to be — she'd seen this face a million times before; a younger, smoother version with fewer sharp angles and without the haunted look in their bloodshot eyes, but the very same face was once plastered all over Britain — on missing flyers, in front page news, later on wanted posters... 10.000 galleons are a fine bit of money for a head like this. She gives the stranger a sideways glance, and they glare right back at her, with a defiant expression that might have betrayed their famous origins, even without the esteemed family name. The Blacks, they do all look the same...

"Well, that answers the question whether you're a muggle" Sirius remarks with a bitter chuckle. "Look, I know what you're thinking. And yes, they do have the funds, but just so we are clear on this, if you move to draw, I'll attack you, and it's gonna be over before you ever reach your wand. You will lose, most likely die, and then I'll have to spend this lovely evening digging a hole for you in the woods instead of sharing a bottle of crappy wine. So, just don't, okay?"

Remus can't help but admire the kid's bravado — they aren't stupid, she can tell that much, if from nothing else, the fact that they somehow successfully evaded one of the most powerful magical families, and their countless footmen, for over three years without ever leaving a trace; and yet, they seem to know when they're outmatched.

"Who says I'd need to draw?" she smirks, hoping to provoke a quick duel out of the youth. She likes to get the power-struggle out of the way early on, just so nobody gets ideas while she's sleeping or in recovery. The young Black might turn out to be a reluctant ally, but they could mean real trouble after the full moon, if they were to follow family tradition in wanting to rid the world of a monster like herself. Three days left until the next transformation, which means she's at the height of her power, so taking Sirius out here and now would be the wisest, and she thinks she could do it without harming them too badly. Nothing she couldn't fix in a blink afterwards.

Sirius measures her with a curious squint, slowly raising their left hand into the air. All five fingers are adorned with a variety of silver rings, from plain, thin bands to heavy signets with rune-engraved stones. A web of glowing lines flare up on the back of their hand, spreading out from an intricate magic sigil on their wrist. They emit a faint, blueish white light, running along each finger to the tip, as Sirius charges up for a wandless spell. Flashy, but creative, Remus thinks, truly impressed for the first time. She's used to wizards relying on their wands to do the work for them, and she knows seven different ways to dismantle the connection before they ever get to fire off. The stranger's magic is different — it's raw and unpolished, but brutally powerful, and very complex, in a geometric sort of way. This would be more difficult than she initially thought, and she's unsure if she could immediately disarm Sirius without having to literally dis-arm them.

To avoid confrontation, she raises a hand in front of her too, conjuring a harmless little will-o-whisp in her palm — a trick she developed as a child, tied up on the bare cement floor of her parents' basement, waiting for the curse to take hold. There was no light in the basement; she was lonely, cold and terrified, so she made herself a friend, a cold flame to keep her company while she was waiting for the moon.

Sirius' eyebrows disappear somewhere under their tangled fringe, but their face lights up with a huge, mischievous grin:

"Remus, the girl raised by the wolves... You're not boring at all, are you?"

[conaionaru]

Honor and Blood (Ivar the Boneless)

I'll run to you

Synopsis: 

Warnings: Ivar, Silas, toxic family, mentions of murder, angst

Tags:

@xbellaxcarolinax​ @shannygoatgruff​ @didiintheblog​ @lol-haha-joke​ @youbloodymadgenius​ @heavenly1927​ @queenbeeta​ @astridbaby​ @chynagirl13​ @thereareendlessopportunities

P.S. I did some edits of Ivar x Vanya. And I found the perfect song for them (where the title of this chapter comes from) and made an edit of that as well.

I don’t own the gifs. Also, thank you for your support. I really appreciate it. If you want to be tagged please write me<3

When Vanya was a little girl, she dreamt of marrying a noble Prince and becoming his Queen. She imagined a huge castle and her father visiting her as often as possible. Even her mother was proud of her for being a good Christian wife.

Never did she dream of being here, drifting on a boat with a sore shoulder, woozy from mead with her sleeping heathen son in her lap. Why must dreams always be so wrong?

But truth to be told, she loved the life she lived now. Well, not right now, but the last year. Her experience in Kattegat was perfect. Despite his short temper, Ivar was a good man. He loved her unconditionally, protected her, and listened to her. His brothers were kind to her, and she trusted them with her life. Even Sigurd, with who she sometimes butted heads. She had a friend and found a mother in Aslaug and Helga.

She missed them so much. Two days on the water made her want to cry. She cried nowadays more than the babe she gave birth to. He seemed content; he loved watching the ravens fly over their heads and played with her hair when she held him.

How funny it seemed to her that she loved sailing when she came here. Now she yearned to stand on dry land and sleep in a warm bed wrapped in Ivar's arms.

Whenever Vanya didn't think of home, she thought of Silas, especially what she would do to him. She had been meek and peaceful for so long, forgave him everything he did to her. But that changes now; he didn't just hurt her or degrade her. He tried to kill her and her son. His knights murdered an innocent woman. He would pay the blood price for it.  

The raven made a sound and left their usual circling spot. Vanya watched them go and perked up. Land. It meant land was near. She put her child into the nets and rowed towards the direction the birds flew.

Her shoulder screamed in protest, and she felt it reopen as her dress got wet with blood. She ignored it and kept on rowing. She was out of food, and the mead wouldn't last more than two cups. They needed to find water and food.

Ivar laid in his bed, sweat dripping from his forehead, the whites of his eyes blue. His legs hurt too much today; he had to stay in bed but couldn't sleep at all. All he could do was lay there in pain and think of all the ways he will torture Vanya's attacker. He prayed to the Gods that she was still alive. Two days ago, she went missing, and everyone was losing hope.

Aslaug had no visions, and Hoenir was no help. He dragged himself to the Seer yesterday, but all he got was vague answers. "You know the answer, Boneless." He knew Vanya had grown stronger and that she promised to protect their son. But so did he and now, he doesn't know where she is or if she is even alive.

He promised her that no one would ever lay a hand on her again, and he failed. If he ever saw her again, he wouldn't let her out of his sight.

"Drink the tea, Ivar. It will help." Ubbe ordered, walking into the room, looking at the untouched cup on Ivar's bedside. Right next to the tea was the carved figure of Fenrir and Vanya's serpent necklace.

"Did you find her? Anything?" Ivar begged as his brother wiped his damp forehead.

Ubbe shook his head and put the rag down. "A fisherman's boat went missing two days ago. Mother thinks Vanya might have taken it. So we sent some boats out to look for her. But if she drifted out into the open..."

He didn't have to finish the sentence for Ivar to understand. If Vanya drifted away, the storm that was gathering would sink her ship and drown them both. Hoenir saw her drown, what if he was right and she would? No amount of sacrifices would bring her back then. He would be alone again, with Aslaug the only one to love him. Ubbe might love him, but there are moments he must wish his brother wasn't alive.

The times he had to carry him or stay at home because Ivar was in pain. Having to check on his legs and eyes all the time. In everybody's eyes, Ivar was a burden; he was aware of it. Vanya was the only one who didn't care or look down on him. In her eyes, Ivar was perfect despite his shortcomings. Over time, she grew used to his temper and pain. She comforted him, held him, whispered sweet words into his ear as he fell asleep.

She loved him, and he left her alone after she bore him a son. He didn't even get to hold him. His perfect son, who had his eyes and hair. His healthy boy. Ivar hated himself, but he hated the world more.

"How long we have to keep looking? It's been two days now. The corpses must show up soon." Pæga complained, pulling off his boots and sinking his feet into the bowl with water.

Silas glared at the knight and stabbed his dagger into the table. "Boats were sent out to search for her, a fisherman's boat went missing, they think Vanya is in it. If she survived and they find her... My sister saw your faces. She isn't so stupid to fall for a few farmers in your clothes. If you get caught, then it means my death as well." He spat at his knights while Stithulf sat in the corner, sharpening his sword.

"I doubt she is alive. She doesn't strike me as a survivor. Vanya was sent here to wither and die, to brake and suffer. She might have charmed her way around Kattegat. But smiles and gifts aren't going to save her from death. She was hit with an arrow; I saw her sink. All they will find is a dead child in the boat. Vanya is dead, and you are the only possible ruler of Slegia."

Stithulf stood up after his rant and walked towards his King. He lifted the crown from the table and put it on his head. "A crown for a King. The one true King. Vanya will never wear this thing; neither will her children; I made sure of it."

Silas nodded and proudly pushed his chest out. The knight was right; he was the King, and Vanya was dead. First, he dealt with her; next is his mother and her new husband. Then his uncle and Wrosan will be his. The victory was certain.

Vanya hauled herself from the boat and pulled it on land so the tide wouldn't wash it away. Her son stirred in his little bed while Vanya collapsed on the ground, exhausted.

The ravens left them alone, and she had no idea where to go. This part of Kattegat was unfamiliar to her. So as she laid there, she prayed to the Gods to show her a way to get home. But no sign or help came.

So she wrapped herself tighter in her cloak and took her child with her heading west, the other way than she drifted off. She needed to get to a familiar location: the hunting hut, Floki's house, or even the forest before Kattegat.

Vanya walked with her son in her arms, without a pause. She managed to find some berries Helga taught her were edible and a stream of water. After she ate, she fed her son and carried on in her way. Her feet were sore, and her son was becoming too heavy for her weak arms.

Other than wilderness and silence, there was nothing around her. Every tree looked the same, and the shade they gave her made navigating with the sun harder. She shivered as the winds grew colder.

When her son whimpered in her arms, she froze. Her being cold wasn't that bad. But to him, it meant death. So she carefully put him on the ground and took off her cloak and swaddled him in it. Her thinned down frame shook in the cold winds while her son burrowed himself into the new warmth.

Vanya looked down at his little content face and smiled. All of this hardship was worth it if he was healthy and alive. This life she created and carries inside her, that she spent hours bringing into the world. It meant everything to her; it hurt to admit that her mother was right. A mother has no choice but to love her child; only a monster would ignore her own blood like that. But the thing Siflaed was wrong about was that Vanya did love Ivar. Despite everything she heard about him and his people, she grew to love him no, her people. Kattegat was her home now; she was born to live here; she knew it.

And when she returned, she would never leave again; she would remain and raise her son. She would see all the other sons of Ragnar start their own families and see Aslaug grow old. Hold Bjorn's adorable children and gossip with Torvi and Brynja. She would sit on the bench in front of the Great Hall, sewing a dress together, with Ivar by her side with their son in his arms. Vanya would come to visit Helga and Floki more often like she promised she would and try to make Margrethe less afraid of Ivar. He wasn't the monster; everyone made him out to be; her husband had a lonely heart with high walls made of anger.

She remembered the story of Eve and the Devil. The way the serpent tricked Eve into eating the apple and be banished from Eden for it. She also remembered the story one of Siflaed's lovers told her of the Greek goddess Persephone and the pomegranate. How Hades offered the fruit to her, and she stayed with him as his wife.

But Vanya didn't feel like Eve; her husband was no evil serpent leading her on. He was Hades, the god known for his dark demeanor, but a good husband. She wasn't a meek Christian like Eve, Vanya was Persephone. A good heart with love for nature, married to a man of shadowed behavior who everyone feared. But they both held darkness and light, she wasn't just a maiden who plucked blooming flowers, and Ivar wasn't just an angry heathen with a quick tongue. Her tongue was as equally sharp as his and his love as real as hers. They were King and Queen of the Underworld, Prince and Princess of Kattegat.

With determination, Vanya strode on, thankful for the shoes she managed to put on before her escape. Walking barefoot on top of lightly dressed would have meant her death. She could hear an owl hoot somewhere behind her until it flew past her and landed on a branch. "Frigga." She whispered as the bird stared at her with yellow eyes, it's white feathers standing out in the treetops.

"Have you come to take me home, All-Mother? Odin's ravens looked over my son and me on the boat, and now you have come for us. Goddess of mothers and queens, of war, wisdom, and strategy. I beg you, take me home." She begged the hooting white owl that took off and landed on another branch, waiting for the ginger to follow.

Vanya chuckled at the sight and followed after the frequently stopping bird. "This better be Frigga, or I will die. That's your descendant on the line, Odin. Don't let me die, All-father, All-mother."

Everyone stood gathered in the Great Hall in the evening, waiting for what Aslaug had to say. Silas stood in the corner of the room, surrounded by his armed knights. "My brother Ivar was graced with a son three days ago. But his son and wife were ripped away by a murderer, who sneaked into their hut and killed the wet nurse." Bjorn announced watching the faces of everyone present.

Floki and Helga leaned a support beam, both looking grim, while the boatbuilder glared at Silas. Ivar sat next to his mother, with Hoenir standing behind them. Brynja and Margrethe watched the whole ordeal from their place with the other servants and slaves. The other brothers stood behind Bjorn, who towered over the room, reminding all of their father. He carried the same authority even without a crown on his head.

Aslaug lifted her head higher and wrapped his fingers around the armrests of her throne. "The one responsible will answer to the Gods. The more blood they have on their hands, the more dire their demise will be. This person is charged with treason and murder..."

Ubbe left his mother's side while she talked and walked with Floki and Hoenir towards the exits. They barricaded the door while no one was watching. The only way to open them now would be from the outside, where Floki stood watch.

"The return of my daughter in law Vanya is becoming unlikely. A funeral will be held soon to honor her death, Floki has agreed to build a boat to bury her. If she is not found until the ship is done, we shall burn some of her possessions instead."

Stithulf observed the heathens around him; they seemed on edge, ready to pounce at any moment. Of course, Silas was obvious to all this, too distracted by the Queen's speech to notice.

"But, we do know the one responsible for this tragedy." The knights head snapped towards the throne. Everyone grew silent, waiting for Aslaug to continue. "We questioned people and gathered that there is only one possible suspect behind all this. Someone willing to murder a mother and child int heir sleep."

The room was tense as if a war would erupt at any moment. Ivar clenched his jaw before smirking at Silas, who froze in his spot.

"How do you answer these charges... King Silas?" The Saxon's breaths hitched in fear as the knights wrapped their hands around their swords' handles, ready to draw them and kill everyone. But they were outnumbered and locked in with bloodthirsty heathens.

"This is outrageous! I loved my sister. And you are claiming me as a murderer only because you failed to find the real one. My sister is dead because of you!" He roared at the remaining sons of Ragnar and his wife. But they didn't even flinch all the Queen did, was push her shoulders back and raise an eyebrow at his outburst.

"So you claim, but there is no proof. All we saw were spiteful words and tantrums. You bribed farmers to change clothes with your knights; then, you ordered them to kill Vanya and her son. But Margrethe remembered their faces, and it wasn't the faces we see here today." Sigurd called out as the said thrall covered behind Brynja. She confessed this to Sigurd last night, and since then, the Ragnarsson and Aslaug had been plotting.

Silas frowned and shook his head, chuckling. "And do tell me... What would my reason be? Sibling rivalry? Don't be ridiculous. I may not have been overly fond of my sister, I admit. But I wouldn't murder her. And the baby? Son or not, I hold no ill will against either."

"Vanya and her son possessed a threat to you, childless, unfit to rule. But Vanya is loved here, and I am sure she was the same in England. You ordered her death and will die for it. An eye for an eye."  Bjorn threatened as Silas gulped and gave an uneasy smile.

He shrugged and spread his arms wide to show he was unarmed and possessed no threat to them, other than his knights who drew their swords. "Let's spare ourselves these dramatics. Vanya is dead, and I am not the culprit. Let's not have a ghost of a disobedient whore get between our agreement."

Ivar slammed his fist against his chair and glared at the daring King. He would have leaped out of his seat and strangled the bastard if it wasn't for Bjorn, Sigurd, and Hvitserk holding him back. "How dare you?" The Ragnarsson roared his nostrils flaring in rage.

Silas pointed to Ivar's legs with a smirk.  "Your... Affliction. Do you really think the child was yours? My darling sister would do anything to please you as a proper wife should. And giving you a child, even one that's not truly yours. It would please you. Wouldn't it? To think that you are a real man, able to produce an heir." The blonde Christian taunted as everyone glared at what he was suggesting.

"I did you a favor before things escalated, and you would believe other idiotic lies my sister would have fed you to keep herself alive a little longer. I saved you from further embarrassment and grief. Vanya is dead, and there is nothing to change that." He sounded at peace with his oncoming death. Silas knows he and his knights will die, but might as well anger the heathens some more. Die a horrid death and go down in history as a martyr: Saint Silas, The tortured King.

Stithulf, on the other hand, looked distressed, all the whispering he did, all for nothing. All his hard work wasted on a foolish king with a big ego and greedy heart. His chance at fame and ruling, all gone, because of a ginger Princess who just couldn't stay meek and timid like she was meant to be.

The sound of something shattering broke the tense atmosphere. Everyone looked st the redheaded servant that let her jug of water, fall to the floor. "Vanya." She whispered, her face pale and eyes wide. They followed her gaze and gazed at the open door in shock.

"Why do you think I am dead, Brother?" Vanya's voice rasped out as the ginger leaned against the door frame, a shield pierced with many arrows in one hand. Her hair was frizzy, her skin pale, and her eyes sunken in. Her white dress was stained with bloody some on her shoulder, the rest on her lap, from childbirth.

She took a shaky step forward and shifted her arms slightly. Helga runs to her side, and Floki stood behind her in case she fell. The Ragnarssons run to her while Ivar stared at her in shock. Standing up, Aslaug observed the presumably dead Princess in wonder.

"Helga, you need to look after my son. I tried to keep him warm and fed. Please check him."  Vanya pleaded with the blonde woman, letting the shield riddled with arrows fall to the floor. Hidden behind the protection was a bundle of furs and cloak, squirming at the new warm place they entered.

Helga shakily took the babe out of Vanya's trembling embrace to see the child alive and well despite the ordeals he went through. She ushered the child away as Ubbe reached his sister in law, laying a hand on her shoulder to steady her. But she shook it off and slowly advanced towards Silas, who took a few steps towards her as well.

"How? You should be dead." He whispered, still in denial that his plan didn't work.

"I forgave you so much, Silas. So many wounds. I forgave them all, ignored them, and asked my family to ignore them as well. But that ends today. You killed an innocent woman! You tried to kill my son!"

Silas shook his head, refusing to admit defeat against his little sister. His foolish sister, who was born weak and was meant to abide by him. The one who defied him and survived. "You won't hurt me, Vanya. You are weak. Remember your place, and we can forget this. Beg me for forgiveness, and I shall grant it to you. All I want in return is save passage back home. Kill my knights instead."

"You think I will beg? I did nothing to ask forgiveness for! You are a monster, Silas. Just like father and mother said you were. Do you think I will cower before you? Just because you are my brother?" She seethed stalking towards him as Silas drew a dagger and pointed it at her, shaking, fearful of this side of Vanya.

The ginger keeps on advancing, not caring for the weapon pointed at her. The adrenaline running through her veins made her forget what fear feels like at all. All she could see was the man who made her life a living hell and tried to kill her son! "Blessed are the meek, Vanya." He reminded her, hoping that the sentence that their mother used to drill into her head would calm her down, but his sister didn't even blink.

"Yes. Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. For theirs is the kingdom of heaven." She spat back a part of the Beatitudes, laughing at his poor attempt at containing her rage. "Do you think the words of Jesus or God will stop me? Do you honestly believe that you will be forgiven? I am past forgiveness and meekness! I want you to pay for my and my son's suffering in blood!"

Silas took a few steps back, his hand shaking like crazy. Vanya was nearly in front of him now, her hand grasped his dagger around the sharp edge, no fear in her eyes. They looked like frozen over fjord's, determination and anger swirling around. She tugged his knife from his grasp and threw it behind her, surprising everyone. Blood dripped from the cut on her palm, trailing down her slender fingers and hitting the floorboards.

"I would burn cities and kingdom's to the ground and make him King of the Ashes if they dared to threaten him!" She screamed at her brother, getting into his face and glaring up at him as he shook in his spot.

"Vanya, please, have mercy. I am your brother. I did it to protect my claim. You must understand. I was born to rule; I deserve to sit on the throne for eternity. Please have mercy." The two siblings stared into each other's eyes, the frozen fjords meeting the tearful sky.

She softly shook her head and softened her angry expression. Ivar crawled towards them, observing the blood-stained dagger and her bleeding hand clenched by her side. "Mercy is a Christian value, and I am not Christian anymore." She hissed backhanding him with her bleeding left hand so hard that he hit the floor.

Silas cradled his aching cheek and stared at Vanya in shock. The ginger glared down at him with disdain obvious in her expression. "That's why I wish you the most painful death instead." She spat at him before two men dragged him away as he cried and cursed at them, begging them to let him go as other Vikings killed his knights when they dared to attack.

Ivar crawled to Vanya's left and took her cold bleeding hand in his, startling her from her trance. She looked down at him tenderly as he looked over her tired body. "I missed you." He whispered, staring up at her with adoration as she returned his tender look, softly smiling.

"I missed you too." Ubbe supported her swaying frame and carried her towards the awaiting healers, thanking the gods for her return, alive and well. Ivar watched her get carried away and spared a glance at the dead bodies of the Saxon knights before he followed his brother and wife.

[luvdsc]

Hey Cat!! I hope you're doing well as always ! 💖 AHHHH huhu I closed the form last Sunday since I've collected enough responses dy! (NOOOOOOOO ToT) I got a total of 221 responses at the end of the week, which is 3x the amount I initially needed! :o I'm beyond grateful and appreciative ToT I've cleaned the data and have proceeded to run some data analysis, but I ran into an issue whereby the scores on the subscales are equal (it has never been reported in past studies! :O) so I'm waiting for my supervisor's feedback on how to proceed. Hopefully it's nothing too serious ToT

Hehe finance is interesting indeed! I just started reading a book on finance for young adults (Rich Dad Poor Dad) and I look forward to learning more from the author's tips! The Coursera introductory course has also made financial terms a lil more familiar, even though it's just the basics and it's really helped w my financial literacy 🥺 I can push myself to study but it's also the numbers and calculations I'm worried of cuz I am rly a nong (idiot) when it comes to numbers * - * it runs in the genes I guess AHAHAHAHA my mom and sister aren't good at numbers either keke

Aww I'm glad yr professor made financial accounting enjoyable and a fruitful experience for you! Some lecturers / professors rly just have that spark in them to inspire ppl and I'm blessed to be surrounded by a bunch of em in the psych department!🥺😭 it truly makes a difference and I'm sure we both are living proofs of that!

After debating for a while, I've decided not to take a minor mainly because I'm so tired HAHAHAHAHAHA and I'll just do my own self-studying and exploration whilst working! Go out and explore the world, live life! Whilst ironically still staying in my room because of the COVID-19 situation in our country (cases are abt 20+k every day :') ) My proposal has been finalized and it's been accepted! It's just that some elements of my proposal is also part of my actual report, so I have some guidance to refer to in terms of structure! :3 and yes don't worry! I got plenty (sometimes a lil too much) rest during the sem break whilst remaining productive! Plus, I got to catch up w some friends and had game nights (maybe too much of game nights hehe) and movie nights w my friends which was truly refreshing! Also cuz I might not see a lot of them again after we graduate so we gotta cherish every moment 🥺😭

I'm a freelance graphic designer for my uni's newsletter! Occasionally, they'd ask us to create both the content and design! I'll place the link to my recent work below if you wanna check it out! UwU I'm trying to incorporate the same practices during sem break in my last sem (current sem) too! cuz yes mental health is so so important and I'm just tired of being academically tired you get me? :(

What makes me most trilled abt learning abt psychology is how to apply it in daily life too! I find it so fascinating and awestruck at how relatable and within reach these things are like wow we can be influenced in such ways?? :o can be both good and bad but imma stick w seeing it as the development and evolution of us humans UwU

Also, the vaccine has fixed my sleep schedule HEHE (another perk of getting vaccination :3) I got some rly good rest and managed to reset my usual sleeping time, thank you science ToT oooo I see I see, we've had cases of nurses injecting empty syringes hence the recording :( but GHIOGHWEOGIOHW I could never do that, I can feel the liquid entering me as it is so that's good enough ToT (* plays Love Talk * I can feel it coming)

OMG YOUR ART PIECES ARE SO BEAUTIFUL, ADORABLE AND ELEGANT! 💖🥺🥰 it must've required a lot of hard-work and effort AHHH thankiew for showing me yr work!! it's truly unique in its own manner despite it's simplicity UwU is there a reason or backstory to yr chosen theme and objects? :3

I just Googled Somi Somi and omg that's such an UwU ice cream AHHHH 💖🥺😭 ice cream is my fav food of all time and it looks like an ice cream haven omg imagine eating it after a loooong hard day's of work ToT and OMG THE SATISFACTION OF EATING THAI MILK TEA ICE CREAM ON A HOT DAY YASSS 😋🤤 hehe if you get the chance to try milk & biscoff, do try it! It's amazing !😍 and ooo i haven't tried alcoholic ice cream before but I will one day!! :3 my alcohol tolerance is rly low though, will I get tipsy over alcoholic ice cream? We shall see UwU (i can only drink half a bottle of apple cider before my face gets red and I start getting a lil tipsy + headache)

and lovie....knowing yr school schedule now...OURS IS DEFINTELY BRUTAL OMG a 3 month long sem break huhu that's only the total amount of sem breaks we get in a year ToT i thought uni was hard but not that hard ToT

Always glad and honored to have you onboard! and AHAHAHAH the contractions about to start soon 👀 I enjoy talking to you huhu you're such a sweet and supportive person 💖🥺🥰😙 huhu for my period cramps, I've been having them since I was 12 ToT my doctor prescribed me some panadols but sometimes I can't even swallow them cuz I'd puke them out ToT I've settled w heatpacks to reduce my reliance on medicine, but I finally got some upgraded and safe to eat medicine from my gynae! She said it's fine to take it every month to keep my womb healthy and apparently my ms. lil uterus is suffering from inflammation, hence the super crazy bedridden cramps :( the upgraded medicine worked for a while, but after time it kinda didn't help either :/ but I realised that exercise rly does wonders to reduce the cramp too (gynae also recommended exercising) so i take walks and do my back stretches more frequently now! my period in the previous months (2 months ago) have been almost painless and bearable, it's so weird not seeing my bedridden ._. when I was in high school, there would always be a day in every month in which I don't attend classes, and that's solely because of my cramps. It just isn't worth suffering in school, plus we don't have a sick room :/ I hope the pain continues to subside! ToT

And ayy internship is also working experience, yr advice would be of great help to me regardless! 🥺 oh yes, I always remind myself that interviews are similar to the speaking test I took for my Cambridge English exams! That kinda help calm my nerves down a lil, but w nerves comes bigger smiles, so I guess it takes on a rather practical form of coping mechanism (sublimation) AHAHAHAHA

WAAAA WHAT A QUEEN you got an offer from every interview?? I aspire to be like you! 💖🥺🥰 huhu skill wise I believe I have lots to prepare esp in terms of case studies, and I perform rly poorly on certain assessments (*ehem * esp those concerning numbers) so I took the chance to study a lil during sem break too ToT but noted on that! I will work on that too and try to maintain that me element in interviews and overall just be myself keke

That's all from me for now! Imma wait for my supervisor's feedback and journey on w my last semester. Bon voyage! Link to my recent work: https://www.instagram.com/p/CTBqGzjr6sN/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link Other works: https://www.instagram.com/p/CPpv-IyM7Gi/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link https://www.instagram.com/p/CL55EG-MbL2/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

hi hello honey bee !!! 💓 omg i'm so sorry for the belated response, i finally got on my laptop 😭 i'm gonna put my response under the cut since it got a little long 🤧

omg 221 responses !!!!! that's so many 🙀 congratulations aaaaa it's amazing that you were able to get 3x the data you needed !!! was it difficult to run data analysis? were you able to solve the issue with the equal scores on the subscales? i hope it didn't create too much additional work for you ):

omg yes finance is really interesting! i enjoyed the classes i took for it :') how is rich dad poor dad? did you learn a lot from it? i know it was a book my prof recommended, but i never got around to reading it 😶 did you learn any helpful tips? and ooo i'll have to look into coursera! yeah, there's quite a lot of terms for finance, and it can be a little intimidating paired with all the math formulas and such, but it's pretty useful imo! how are your financial studies going so far? 💕 omg nong is such a cute word?? i would never think it meant idiot asdkfhlkajsdf omg my whole family is good at numbers and really like math, but i didn't like it 😭 my mom made me study it a lot everyday though rip are the financial calculations getting easier for you as you practice more hopefully?

yessss omg i absolutely agree with this!!!! like you can just feel when a professor loves to teach and is genuinely so excited to talk about their subject, and it just makes the most boring horrible subject into something you learn to enjoy and hate less :') and i'm really happy to hear you have tons of professors like that in the psych department 🥺💗

that's great to hear!!!! 🌷🌷 i'm glad that you're prioritizing yourself and your health, which is so much more important than taking on a minor. what fun subjects have you decided to explore and self study so far? 💞 oh my gosh, the rising cases are so high?? i hope it's gotten better there for you ): are you able to go outside yet?

big congratulations on your proposal being finalized and accepted, lovebug !!!! 🥳🥳 i'm very proud of you and hoping one day i can read your published studies in a scientific journal :') aaaa i'm so glad to hear that you got to rest and enjoy your time with your friends!! i definitely feel that omg i regret all the times i skipped out on movie nights or game nights with my friends because now we're all scattered across the country and the only way we can have them again is over zoom calls 🤧

I SAW YOUR DESIGNS AND THEY'RE GORGEOUS OMG I LOVE THEM SO MUCH !!!! 💖 I'M IN AWE AAAA IF PSYCH DOESN'T WORK OUT, I HOPE YOU BECOME A GRAPHIC DESIGNER 🤩🤩💖 and yes i totally get it ): i really felt the academic burn out when i was in college and it was really difficult at times 🤧 but i hope it's going better for you nowadays, sweetpea 💝💝

omg yeah i absolutely agree !!!! whenever i read about psychology, i keep it in the back of my mind and then when i see something irl that relates to it, i'm like :O amazing. it's so cool to learn about different psych tricks too and see how it works when you test them out yourself and whatnot. and it's really crazy to see how the human brain is so easily influenced at times ??? it truly is an amazing subject !!!

ah what a great side benefit of the vaccine - a better sleep schedule 🤩 i'm happy to hear that your schedule has been fixed 💘 and omg what ??? they're injecting empty syringes wth ????? 😭 that's absolutely horrible, are they getting sued?? lmaooooo that love talk reference askdfhlaksjd

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL YOUR KIND COMPLIMENTS 😭😭💗💗 there were many late hours spent in the art studio to finish them, but i'm really happy with the end products :') i thought light bulbs are an interesting subject to do, and my prof said that cutting out circular objects or sculpting them is the most difficult since they're made up curves and not straight lines and i was like ok bet i'm gonna do it aND I'M SO GLAD I DID BECAUSE I REALLY LIKE THEM 🥺 and i love honey bees !!! that's why i decided to paint them and we were supposed to paint them in a combined style of two artists so i tried monet's impressionist style with the short brush strokes and pop art triptych style like marjorie strider 💕

somi somi is sooo good and i just had it again a couple weeks ago :') omg ice cream is your favorite food? :o and YES ice cream is so satisfying after a long day of hard work, like it's such a nice reward to look forward to at the end of day ✨ aaaaa i have to try thai milk tea ice cream one day now !!!!! it sounds amazing 🤩 and YES i must look for places that sell milk & biscoff ice cream !! i have milk ice cream from somi somi, but i need to try to combined flavors 💘 i don't think you'll get tipsy over it !!! it's a really faint taste of alcohol, like i didn't even notice it at first, and i don't think they put very much of it in there! aksljdfhals omg you're a lightweight :o at least that means you save money on alcohol LOL i need like nine shots to get drunk 🤧

your school is too hard 😭 you need more than just 3 months of break !!! 😡 we get a week off for thanksgiving in fall semester and a week off for spring break in spring semester too and then the month long winter break and three month summer break. and we have the one day holidays off too like labor day, memorial day, etc. i can't believe they give you so little time off after working so hard???

asdfhlkajshdlksja loool are the contractions over yet? has it been born? what's the current status, doctor? 👀 i really enjoy talking to you too !!! i'm very sorry for the late responses, work is really taking over all of my time, and i never have enough time to get on my laptop to reply to my asks 😭 and thank you for saying such kind things about me 🥺🥺💝 oh my gosh, i'm so sorry to hear that you have such terrible cramps 😭 i can't even imagine going through that - mine are nowhere near as horrible 😖 do the heatpads help a lot? i'm relieved to hear that you were prescribed better medication though! but yeah, your body does eventually get used to the medication and you have to continue taking stronger meds for it to work, but that's not a very healthy solution /: but i'm really glad to hear that exercise has been helping out a lot!! 💖 hurray for almost painless and bearable periods 🥳 i'm sorry to hear that you had to go through that in high school ): that sounds absolutely horrible 😭 periods are just awful, but it's like i'm grateful that i have my period because that means i'm not pregnant, but also please go away aslkhdfaklsj

omg what was the speaking test for the cambridge english exams like? :o it sounds so formal and a lil intimidating askdjfhalsd do you know of any psych tricks that can possibly help calm your nerves? :')

aaaa yes i did !! i was really surprised that i got an offer from them all because at the time, i was not in the right major and i think i was one of the most underqualified applicants 🤧 one person who interviewed me asked why i withdrew from my engr physics class and i explained it in a kinda funny way but in my head, i was like "oof i'm not gonna get this offer anymore" but then he laughed at my response and told me about how his prof told him he should drop a guitar class he was taking because he was doing very poorly and we bonded over that aklsjdhfkals omg how do interviews for psych jobs go? do you have to discuss a lot of case studies? do they give you a list of possible case studies they'll ask about? :o what sort of assessments do you have to do? good luck on all of your interviews, honey bee 💛 i'm rooting for you, you're gonna do amazing !!!! 💘

omg what did your supervisor say about your case study? and how is your last semester going? are you almost done now? 🌸 (also how have you been? what have you been up to? thank you for taking the time to leave such detailed messages for me, i'm really excited to see all the fun updates in your life, lovebug 🌷🌷)

[t-lostinworlds]

Lost You (Shawn Mendes)

Feat. Tom Holland

A/N: Here is me trying to get back to writing haha and yeah, Tom Holland is here. First time ever writing him so please don’t kill me if it’s bad lakslaksal. This was written quickly too, supposed to be a blurb but got carried away. Also I don’t think this is the best I've written thus far so I’m sorry in advance if it sucks :/ Anyways, hope you still enjoy!

Requested: 

First of thank you so much sweets 🥺 that means the world. Second, I changed it up a bit, I hope it’s okay ❤️

Warnings: None and Typos

Word Count: 3.2k+

Masterlist in Bio

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[Images not mine]

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"Nervous?"

That all-too-familiar British accent made you look away from the car window, eyes landing on a handsome man who was sitting right beside you. A worried smile was etched on his lips as he tilted his head to the side, hand resting on your bare leg in a comforting manner, the car ride quiet aside from the soft music that the radio was playing and the soft mumbles of the other people accompanying you.

You couldn't stop yourself from admiring him as he was all groomed up, wearing a classic black suit that fitted is body perfectly, a white dress shirt paired with a bow tie, radiating that James Bond feel with his hair gelled back to give him that clean and sleek look.

You gave him a small nod. "A little bit. Thank you so much for coming with me Tom." You flashed him a grateful smile, placing your hand on top of his as you gave it a soft squeeze.

"Hey, of course, it's your first VMA's, I wouldn't miss it for the world. And I know how much you hate red carpets but still, you join me when I ask you to walk with me. The least I can do is return the favor."

You know that there was something more between you two other than being just casual friends, even Tom does too as he's already confessed to you how he really feels, but none of you has bother to do something about it yet, being that you've just broken up with your boyfriend not too long ago.

_______

You're still figuring yourself out and Tom being the kindest, most understand and sweetest person that he is, he respected that and has done nothing but be there when you needed him most.

"Have I already told you how gorgeous you look?" The young man grinned, eyes admiring you in a way that made your stomach do a flip.

"Yes, now quit ogling, your making me melt." You joked with a roll of your eyes, feigning a slight hint of annoyance in your voice that only made him chuckle. Tom was about to says something but didn't get a chance to respond as the car came to a halt, a crowded red carpet in full view once the both of you took a glance at the tinted window.

Tom interlaced his fingers with yours, giving it a comforting squeeze before his free hand took hold of the door handle. "Ready?"

You took one deep breath as you gave him the go signal, the door sliding open seconds later as he slowly stepped out of the car.

Tom helped you out like the gentleman that he is, your grip on his hand tightening as the flashing lights invaded your eyes in a matter of minutes, your name being screamed by dozens of photographers as they try to get a hold of your attention.

You wore your best smile as you threaded down the carpet, following the usherette assigned to guide the two of you and then stopping to pose as how these things always go.

Tom lets go of your hand to wrap an arm around your waist, your eyes meeting his as he gave it a reassuring squeeze to let you know that he's got you. The amount of time the two of you had walked the red carpet this past few months made him understand why you don't liked carpet. You do get a bit flustered with this much attention, like your being held under a magnifying glass and that one wrong move could be seen even if it's miniscule.

You mirrored his smile as your turned around to fully face him, hand coming up to fix his bow tie as both of his took home on your hips.

"Why did you wear a bow tie? You know very well that you can't keep this straight not matter how hard you try." You teased, hand sliding down his chest once the tie was straight enough for your liking.

The flashing lights and the screaming were never ending but you've learned to tune it out for the amount of times you've done this already. Tom chuckled as he guided you further down the carpet again, stopping to take another pose before he spoke.

"I mean you do like it more when I wear this than a regular tie. You think I look ravishing, you just hate to admit it." Tom retorted with a smirk. You rolled your eyes at that. "Oh please, don't be so full of yourself Holland."

It was going great so far, all laughs and smiles between you and Tom but of course, that only lasted for a moment as you heard the paparazzi scream the names of the people you weren't exactly keen to see.

What a way of the universe to joke that they had to arrive just after you did. You were praying, begging that you could at least walk the carpet without seeing that specific familiar face, but we don't always get what we want in this world do we.

Tom felt you tense up a little bit his head turning to see what was wrong, but when he finally heard who has just arrived, he was quick to switch from playful to overprotective mode, his grip on your waist tightening as he pulled you closer to his side.

"You alright?" Tom leaned closer to whisper in your ear. You nodded with a hum, your faces just an inch away as he pulled back, the concern on his features only lasting a split second as it was quick to change, his smile now wide and bright as he looked at you adoringly.

"He's watching." He spoke between his grin once he took in your confused expression and you were impressed at how fast he can change his mood all of the sudden, but then again, he is an amazing actor after all.

You flashed him a thankful smile, glad that he understood why you're suddenly uncomfortable without having to explain it. So grateful that he was here just as how he's been from the beginning.

With a deep intake of breath, you willed yourself to ignore them, to not even have a peek as you focused on the tasked at hand, focusing more at the gentleman beside you.

Just grin and bear it Y/N, carpet is almost done.

Shawn however, was having a really hard time ignoring you.

Though he was walking with someone else, he can't stop himself from stealing quick glances in your direction whenever he can, making sure that he was doing it as discreetly as he could. The internet would go crazy if he gets caught longingly looking at someone who they only knew was his friend. You never did go public, you didn't get the chance to as everything when south in a blink of an eye. But seeing you right now in the flesh after many months, Shawn feels like his heart was about to jump out of his chest.

He was in awe to say the least.

You wore a fitted sheer dress covered in silver stones and glitters, the garment hugging your body in the right spots giving you a beautiful figure that was making Shawn's head spin. More so with that plunging neckline that showed just enough for it look classy, along with a low back that made the dress look even sexier. As if that wasn't enough, the dress had a slit that showed off those legs in the most elegant way possible.

Your hair was up in a messy bun with a simple yet glamorous makeup, and that beautiful smile of yours that he'd always fall for. Shawn was at a loss for words at how breathtaking you look, you always do that to him no matter the occasion, and you never fail to do so, even to this day.

But his daydreaming was cut short when he finally noticed that you weren't alone too, a certain pang in his chest when you seem to look so happy in the arms of another.

The break up was entirely his fault.

He made a choice thinking that it was for the best, but now he was starting to think otherwise and he was slowly and painfully swallowing the consequences thus far.

Shawn got pulled straight out of his thoughts once your eyes met his the moment you looked over your shoulder. He blinked a couple of time to check if he wasn't hallucinating, seeing a bright smile painted on your lips as you gave him a curt nod, no ill-will written on your face before you broke his gaze, turning to face the person who stood too close by your side for Shawn's liking.

The way his arm was laced on your waist was not sitting well with Shawn at all, especially when this Tom guy was looking at you in a way that he used to. But what truly hurts was that familiar look of adoration on your beautiful face, the one you always gave Shawn whenever you're proud of him. That certain look that was used to be for him and him only, keyword: used to.

This made him think that maybe he was too late, and that you've finally moved on. That he's truly lost you fully this time.

He shook his head with a clear of his throat, standing straighter as he shoved all his thoughts in the back of his head, wrapping his arm around the girl beside him as he smiled at the cameras.

This was going to be a long night.

***

It was commercial break and you were thankful, your bladder just couldn't seem to hold it for much longer. You turned to Tom, nudging his arm as he was busy talking with someone's brother that you didn't quite catch the name of.

"I'm just gonna go the bathroom real quick." You whispered once his attention was on you, slowly getting out of your seat only for Tom to do the same. "I can take you–"

"No silly, it's fine. I'll be back as fast as I can I promise." You giggled, gently pushing him back down as you waved at the person he was taking to.

"Okay then, be careful you clumsy woman." Tom gave you a playful wink with a soft chuckle, you shaking your head in response, mumbling a soft 'shut up' before you walking off.

You reached an empty hallway that one of the staff members pointed you towards, the door of the bathroom coming to view moments later but that's when you heard rushed footsteps behind you, your mind immediately thinking that it was Tom following you as he was the only one who knows where you've gone.

"I thought I told you I can handle myself and pee alone Tom?" You giggled, turning around only to stop dead in your tracks as you were met by a familiar man, too familiar for your taste, one that sported those unruly curls on top of his head.

"Shawn." You breathed out, face contorted in sheer surprise as you were not expecting him at all.

"Y/N, hey." He flashed you a shy smile, both hands in his pockets as he slowly walked closer to you, stopping himself once you took a step back, sadness flashing across his features and you tried your hardest not to scoff out loud.

"What are you doing here?" You asked skeptically, crossing your arms over your chest, but not in an intimidating way, no, it was more as a defensive stance, shielding yourself in a sense.

The break up wasn't a mutual decision, nor did it end on a good note. It was painful, very painful.

It left you in such a dark place and you worked so hard to get yourself out of there. You've made your progress but you aren't exactly fully out yet, you are still in the process of healing as wounds are still a bit fresh, and there is no way in hell you're letting him pull you right back in.

"Just wanted to see you... I miss you."

You shut your eyes tight with a sigh as you shook your head at him. "Don't. Just don't."

Shawn didn't seem to get the hint as he only took a few more steps closer to you, lips parted slightly as he took you in completely. "You look so beautiful." He gushed, fingers absentmindedly pushing a strand of hair behind your ear once he was in close proximity, so close that you just had to look up at him.

You stood there frozen in your spot, heart beating rapidly against your chest as you found yourself stuck under his gaze. Those familiar brown eyes will always have a hold against you, especially when he's looking at you so yearningly, a certain glow crossing his features as is if he was too glad to be close to you again.

The more you stared into his eyes, the more you felt your walls slowly slip, so you pulled your head away from his grasp, clearing your throat as you took two steps back, a deep frown quick to appear on Shawn's lips but you paid it no mind.

"I'm sorry but I need to go." You hastily walked pass him but being the stubborn boy that he is, he took hold of your arm to pull you right back.

"No, wait." Shawn spun you around to face him again, both hands now gripping your elbows to keep you in place, his grasp firm but not too much for it to hurt. His action only made your annoyance grow, a slight anger now slowly boiling to the surface as you gave him a pointed look. "Let go of me Shawn."

The slight waver in your voice made Shawn drop his hands, the frown on his face never leaving as his brain slowly processed how you actually didn't want him near at all. It hurts to say the least but Shawn can't blame you.

He can only imagine what you've been true. The pain he's caused seemingly unforgivable that he, himself would want nothing to do with him either.

"Can you at least give us the chance to talk?" Shawn sounded so desperate but he didn't care. He was holding onto his last beacon of hope, that maybe deep inside, you still have feelings for him, that you still love him just as how he still loves you.

You let out an exasperated sigh. "There's nothing left to talk about Shawn. We broke up months ago. We are done. I've been moving on and you have no right to try and pull me back in now when I've been doing so much better than when you left me. And just to clarify, you have a girlfriend."

Shawn ran a frustrated hand through his curls. "Please honey, I've been regretting things a lot and I can't apologize enough for what I've done. I was stupid and I've been wanting to kick my ass every single day from the moment I hurt you. And seeing you today with Tom, how you look so happy with him, it fucking hurts so bad. I miss you so much, I want you back angel, I need you back Y/N."

A sarcastic laugh left your mouth before you could even stop it, eyes rolling as you shook your head at him in pure disbelief. "Wow. You're being unfair Shawn. Now that I'm happy and have been better, you suddenly want me back? When you see me with someone else you suddenly miss me? You had months to reach out to me Shawn. Fucking months, but not once did you ever think about calling me. I'm not going to be some girl who you only show interest to when it benefits you."

Shawn shook his head, bottom lip trembling as he took your hand in his, and you let him but never did you show him that it affected you in any way. "No that's not the reason. I still love you Y/N, I really do. Please just give me another chance."

You sighed, gaze softening as you watch him slowly break in front of you, but you weren't giving in, you've grown stronger since that day and you've learned to stand your ground, to do what's best yourself. "You've been living your best life during those months, touring the world, frolicking the streets while I was suffering in the pain that you've caused. I don't want to go through it again because it fucking hurts Shawn. It was a hard battle but I've overcome it. Maybe not fully yet but I am getting there, and I'm not letting you jeopardize that. You were a beautiful mistake, but I can't anymore. I'm done. Now will you please, let me go."

"No, angel please just–"

"Y/N! Is everything alright?" A huge relief washed over your body as that familiar voice bounced off the cream colored walls. Shawn's whole body going rigid as he closed his eyes, jaw clenching at the interruption.

"I'm sorry Shawn, but I think it's best that we keep our distance. You need to sort yourself out as do I." You whispered, slowly pulling your hands out of his grip and making your way towards Tom.

"Hey Tom, you know Shawn and yeah, everything's fine." The curly boy turned at his name, a tight lip smile on his face as he gave you both a curt nod.

"Hey man, nice to finally meet you." Tom moved forward as he reached a hand out, a friendly smile on his lips but you didn't miss his tight grip once Shawn took it, the tension between the two rising as Tom shook Shawn's hand hard and firm.

You saw Shawn's jaw visible clench as he slowly nodded his head, standing tall and strong with his nostrils slightly the flaring once Tom lets go of his hand. "Likewise. Big fan of the films."

You couldn't stop yourself from rolling your eyes as Shawn's voice got deeper than normal, the stare between the two looking like some high school confrontation.

Tom only chuckled with a nod. "Thanks mate. Appreciate it." He didn't wait for Shawn to respond as he turned his attention to you, hand wrapping around your waist in a sweet yet protective manner. "Tricia's been looking for you. It's almost your turn to perform love."

You flashed him a bright smile, a silent communication happening between you two and Shawn felt his heart sink to his stomach, eyes falling to the floor as he couldn't bear to watch you two any longer.

"Let's get going then. I still need to change. I'll see you around Shawn." You gave him one last smile before turning your back on him, walking down the hall to where you came from, wondering what both of your futures hold.

Shawn only watched as you disappeared out of sight, heart breaking into pieces as he slowly felt his knees give out, a tear slipping out of his eyes at that the thought that he's pushed you away, so far and into the arms of someone else.

He really has lost you for good this time, another consequence of his mistake that he has no choice but to endure and face.

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