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beccarodeupontheafternoontrain · 4 months

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Guest in the Relationship part 2

Damian Wayne x reader

Words: 1789

Summary: Damian keeps forgetting about your dates and this night is the final straw

Warnings: unedited, angst?

Part 1

I hope you guys enjoy the second and final part - I tried my best. Any criticism is welcomed as are any ideas for further stories :)

Worried was an understatement. I hadn't heard from Damian in a week. Jon hadn't heard from Damian in a week. None of your mutual friends had heard from Damian in a week.

Monday morning I walked into Gotham Academy expecting to see Damian in his normal seat next to mine. It would be awkward, I still wasn't sure what I wanted to say to him or what I wanted to do about the situation. He'd been lying to me for years both as Damian and as Robin and I had every right to be angry about it. Eventually we would talk - how the conversation would end depended on if I was hurt by his lying or angry. What I hadn't expected was for him to not show up at all.

I was too stubborn to text him. He'd been active on his social media, so I knew he wasn't dead, he just didn't want to see me. I could understand why, I hadn't been the most reasonable when he revealed his secret identity to me. However, my apprehension over his disappearance was growing. I was walking around with a knife in gut every time I entered a classroom and he wasn't also in it.

Robin had also been missing. The Gazette's headlines questioning why he'd gone into hiding. I think I might just be the only person who knew the real reason the bird hero wasn't aiding Batman the past few nights.

I'd finally given in to my anxiety. After pacing outside the front steps for far too long, so long that Alfred definitely knew I was there and was just being polite by waiting for me to announce my arrival - I pressed the doorbell to Wayne Manor. I needed to find out for myself if Damian was okay and I needed to talk to him about our situation. As much as I preferred to wrap myself in his clothes and cuddle my wolf, pretending everything was okay with the world. I couldn't do that anymore. Mostly because his hoodie had stopped smelling like him.

Alfred opened the door practically immediately and said my name, he'd definitely been waiting since I arrived 20 minutes ago. "How may I help you?" His voice was as always, polite and soft, I hoped this meant Damian didn't hate me as much as I feared. "I'm here to see Damian." Alfred opened the door wider for me to enter, still not sign of hostility upon his face. "Master Damian is in the music room." I thanked Alfred and headed towards the music room. I knew exactly where it was. It was my second favourite room in Wayne Manor, the first obviously being the library with its mass amount of books. The music room was on the same corridor as Damian's room, it had dark wood floors like the rest of the house with matching wood panelling covering the wall half way and green Victorian style wallpaper covering the rest. In front of the window lived a grand piano, which I had never seen played and throughout the room is an abundance of instruments, ranging from a drum kit to a harp. I found Damian in the corner of the room playing Clair de Lune on his violin, facing away from the sofa that had been placed in here just for me to watch Damian practice. Keeping my steps as quiet as possible I settled down in my usual spot, wrapping my blanket around myself. The Manor was always fairly cold due to its size so Damian had started to keep blankets around the house in rooms we frequented to avoid me catching a chill.

Damian was beautiful when he played violin. If I had any artistic abilities, drawing Damian playing his violin would probably take up the majority of my sketches. The way he played his violin was a dance, it was so practiced and so precise, but he looked so free while doing it. Playing the violin was when Damian was at his calmest. Especially when I curled up on the sofa and watched him play for hours, Damian once said that was when he was happiest.

Part of me was glad Damian had been so focused on his music that he hadn't heard me come in, but the other part knew I couldn't just sit here in silence, I had to make my presence known and get this conversation over with. I waited till he played the last note before I called his name. He spun around so quickly it was almost comical, my name a whisper on his lips. "Hi." I said, an awkward smile on my face. The plan of everything I was supposed to say to the boy in front of me now vanished from my head. "Hi." He replied while scratching the back of his neck, he always does that when he's unsure of something. I take a deep breath before saying "you haven't been at school and neither Jon nor I had heard from you, I just wanted to see if you were okay." Damien looked away from me before responding "I'm okay." I rolled my eyes, did this boy ever tell me the truth? "Damien" I said more angrily than I intended "I need you to tell me the truth for once." He opened his lips to defend himself, but I cut him off. "Sit down so we can talk properly."

My body ached at the distance he placed between us by sitting on the opposite side of the sofa. Damian looked at me terrified, like he was scared I would hurt him. I really hoped this conversation wouldn’t go there. I cleared my throat “I’m not sure where to start” my hands begin to look more interesting than Damian’s face for the first time since I’ve known him. “I guess I just want to know why you lied.” A long sigh escaped him “I couldn’t tell you my identity because I need to protect you, knowing that I’m Robin puts both of us at risk, but especially you.” I looked at my boyfriend, or I assumed still was, in disbelief. He thought I was mad about him not telling me he was Robin? Sure, it stung a little that he hadn’t told me sooner, but I understood why. “I don’t care that you didn’t tell me you were Robin, I want to know why you came to me as Robin, pretended like you didn’t know who I was and have kept that act up for years.” Damian isn’t one for showing his emotions, not to other people at least, but how stunned he was painted his face. He stumbled over the beginning of his sentence, so I butted in again. “Me knowing you’re Robin also doesn’t make up for all the missed dates and unanswered texts, even if you’re a superhero I deserve the bare minimum.” This just causes Damian to act even more panicked, the back of his neck being scratched raw. He takes a deep breath and then another before he spoke. “I’m sorry.” I finally look up at his face. “I never intended to hurt you in this way, or any way at all. When I was on patrol I can’t help but spend extra time in your area, I need to ensure you’re safe. Your safety is my priority, the idea of anything happening to you-” Damian’s hands form fists while his jaw clenches as he glances at the healing cut on my neck from my attacker. I can’t help but place a reassuring hand atop his. “Whenever I see you when I’m Robin” he continues “I can’t hold myself back from talking to you. I just want to spend all of my time in your presence, even if it is as Robin. I know it was wrong to pretend I was someone else, but I just couldn’t help myself from you.” I nod my head “okay.”

Damian smiles at me, hesitantly. “Okay?” He manoeuvres our hands so he’s now holding mine. His green eyes carry so much hope “does this mean we’re going to be okay?” I have to remove my hands from his, the smile vanishes as does the hope in his eyes. “Not just yet.” I say “just because you’ve apologised for lying to me doesn’t expunge your lying nor does it remove how you’ve made me feel so alone and unwanted throughout this relationship.” Damian looked like a kicked puppy. “I don’t know how to make you feel that I love you. Knowing you don’t feel how much I care for you and want you in my life physically pains me.” He cups my cheeks and makes me look at him in the eyes. “I love you Habibti. I love you so much and I don’t know how to make any of this up to you, but I will figure it out. I do not want to lose you.” I can feel the burn behind my eyes as they become glossy. “I don’t want to lose you either, but I also don’t know how we can get past this if I continue to feel like you don’t want me around.” Damian nods his head as he deliberates his next words, his thumb starts drawing circles on my cheek. “How about you tell me what you need from me, how do you want me to show you that I love you?”

So we do, we sit on the sofa in the music room, nothing but our voices creating a melody discussing what we need from each other. For Damian to tell me the truth about why he’s late to one of our dates and visit me when he’s on patrol. For me to tell Damian whenever I feel slightly unsure of his feelings so he can reassure me and not hide if I’m feeling upset from him. Before visiting the manor today I was unsure how this conversation would go. I didn’t know if this would be the last time we would speak or if the argument would spiral out of control. It was going to tough, I was dating a superhero after all, but at least now we had a plan, a plan which made me hopeful for our future together.

During our conversation I’d ended up in Damian’s lap, head in the crook of his neck, breathing in his scent. The mix of rosin from his violin and the jasmine of his shampoo was so calming to me, it was sending me to sleep. An I love you left my lips, a promise being made with Damian as he repeated it to me, kissing my temple, sealing our promise.

We were going to be okay.

#damian wayne x reader #damian x reader #damian al ghul #damian wayne #robin damian #robin #dc robin #dc universe #dc comics #batboys #oneshot

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batbabydamian · 8 months

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🐱 Nightwing #110 rambling AKA wailing about how Dick and Jon love Damian

backtracking to 2 weeks ago in Titans #6 for a sec when Dick expressed how he wanted to look for Damian - it was nice to get a nod of Dick being concerned, but i was a bit bummed he didn't start a search. and i get it, the world needs saving, Dick's gotta do what he has to!!

different writer/story, but this line popped into my head the moment Babs said Earth needs the Titans

Damian means the world to Dick!! the Titans can take care of the literal world without him for a bit!!

but ykw it's fine since this issue proved me wrong, and Dick looks for Damian anyway!! 😭 basically "the world's still in danger but my brother needs me right now" this was just the start of the issue and i fell to my knees THEY BOTH REALLY DROPPED EVERYTHING FOR DAMIAN

the part where they plan to wait out Damian's match was so funny to me because Dick keeps repeating to Jon that they shouldn't engage, but then Dick just goes "NEVERMIND i'm going in" 😭 he couldn't stand watching Damian be hurt anymore i'm weeping

with context this is actually so sad for Damian orz otherwise i just wanted to say i love these drawings!! it's just a really cool page to me - i love the posing, especially in the hands/claws!! the intense expressions!! also so efficient in showing how the match escalates with Damian quickly overpowering Gail (along with seeing Jon's dread 🙁)

THEY WERE SO WORRIED ABOUT WHAT THIS WOULD DO TO DAMIAN 😭

just more panels of Dick and Jon worrying over Damian :')

DYNAMIC DUO 2.0!! and ofc they have a dramatic entrance haha

HEAD IN MY HANDS...CRYING... i'm assuming Damian's hands are still supposed to be covered in blood since the first thing he thinks about when he returns to being human is what he had done without his control. and this bothers him to the end of the issue 😭 (HIS EXPRESSIONS EVEN WITH THE MASK ON 😭)

not sure if it's intentional, but Dick's speech to Damian in B:WFA ep 113 is kinda brought to canon here through both Dick and Jon

this was a sleep deprived reactionary rambling, so not much thought is left in my head lol i was hoping for some cute cat Damian shenanigans, but i'll happily take Dick and Jon being protective over Damian! 🥺

one last duo pic for the road :)

#rambling #i have a b&r 5 ramble sitting in my drafts but I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR DUO CRUMBS SO I HAD TO YELL NOW #this made me curious about dc's copywriters bc what info do they get for some of their summaries to be so different from the actual issue #this wasn't set in Bludhaven nor was there any risk to Gotham OR the Super Sons relationship so. what do the copywriters work with.#hype and vibes alone??#maybe i'm overthinking it but i wonder if there were delays with the art or late changes made to the script/issue...?#Basri's inks are only in the first pages with Apex Ava and likely his pencils for the rest with Cifuentes as inker/finishes #what happened here...maybe he just needed to get moving to the other Nightwing issues...who knows...

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randomyuu · 5 months

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so hold my hand (consign me not to darkness) [1/4]

Ah, yes. The fic that made me realise I’m in desperate need of Cursed Spirit Gojou in my ever-growing favourite GoYuu tropes.

Content Warning!

Major Character Death. Other characters are disrespectful to the corpse.

I highly suggest you read the fic first, or just the fic, since I don’t think I was properly able to adapt it into drawings. While I managed to use roughly two weeks of on-and-off planning, researching, and storyboarding, I only had a full week to finish it. You can read more of my thoughts below the comic if you’re curious.

Title: so hold my hand (consign me not to darkness)

Author: qalb_al_louz

It’s ongoing, and as of this drawing, the fic is in its third chapter. While this is (sexually) SFW, always be mindful of the tags! Please keep yourself safe and sound.

Please read from right to left, and enjoy!

You can only upload 30 images in one post, huh Damn, I gotta divide it into parts

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

Alrighty, I'll put my watered down unhinged thoughts below. No extra drawings down there if you're curious haha (unless you want to see the storyboard and the characters' full body character sheet, lemme know). You can skip the stuff underneath the Keep Reading for all parts.

This fic had me grinning from ear to ear every time I read this. The atmosphere, how it goes from POV to POV—of pure fear and panic—and the peak excitement I got when Yuuji properly meets Gojou, like brooooo 😭

Gosh I cannot emphasise how much I love this fic. I’ve always been wanting to make a whole comic out of it, especially since it was 2 chapters and it doesn’t look like the author will update it, but it just… kind of forgotten ∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿

But then the author posted a new chapter and I told myself this is a sign I should really start.

also goddamn I was so naive to think I can tackle 2 chapters as comic—no I was in fact cannot

The moment I laid my eyes on the first paragraph, things were portrayed very vividly in my mind. The panel, the angle, Gojou's head rolling down... I was like, hell yeah. Then I continued reading and I finally succumbed to my desire to draw this out.

At first I want to adapt this into a vertical format like those manhwas. However the longer I try to learn and storyboard it... I am simply not yet comfortable with it, especially for such a big project. Even the 1st storyboard starts vaguely vertical before the panels quickly crammed into that B4-B5 format lol. The first sketch estimated 69 (heh) pages for 90% of chapter 1. I said "no" for my own sanity and fully focused on the usual manga format and it was narrowed down to 60. Still a lot though, quantity and time-wise. So with a heavy heart, I can only do the majority of chapter 1 :”) I really really want to draw Sukuna talks back to Gojou—do you have any idea how good that scene was??? Gojou tried so hard to restrain himself, he’s so other I love him 😭

Due to the sheer length of this comic (I'm still in disbelief), I have limit lots of things, and that includes the drawing. If you've seen my other JJK fanarts, they are more rendered than this one. Well, this one is purely sketched with the help of the eraser to tidy up some lines. This is also the first fanart that I did purely on Photoshop, so I can control the typesets and drawings in one place. Usually, I use Photoshop for panels and typesetting and Krita for drawing.

I don't really like Photoshop's brush, but it did really well in curbing my perfectionist tendencies, so that's good.

It's also been quite a while since I draw in general (sobs) so... yeah, you might find differences, or not ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ But I hope you enjoy it nonetheless!

I know setting is important, but maaan I genuinely won't miss rereading chapter 83-93 with a heavy focus on background and character locations. I just want to read the action and dialogue😭 However continuity is really important. But my spatial intelligence is almost non-existent even GPS sometimes can't help me. All I'm saying is that if you find some silly drawing mistakes, do forgive me ∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿I only drew all this in a week because otherwise I won't have another chance to complete this.

Well, lots of things I won't miss from this project, but haha let's talk about the characters instead because holy shit what was I thinking, starting this year drawing this many characters in the same project??? I have never drawn anyone here except for Yuuji, Gojou, Nanami and Megumi. I don't think I've ever drawn older Getou before. I already forgot how to draw my boy Yuuji and I gotta draw all these people???

This is what you call making a bad decision, kids. Don't do your "drawing warmup" after months of not drawing and tackling a project of a scale way bigger than you've ever tackled before.

Thank you for reading this far! I hope you find my complaint entertaining! But make no mistake, I genuinely still love the fic. Drawing this, even with all the headaches it gave me, only makes me adore this fic even more.

Thank you very much to each one of you who follows and leaves comments and tags on my silly art—it never failed to make my day :D And I sincerely wish this one also made your day or even made your minute! I'll see you in the next part!

#yuu's art #jjk-fic-fanart #jjk-ship #五悠 #goyuu #goyu #5u #gojou x yuuji #shibuya arc #shibuya arc canon divergence #lots of characters on this one #kenjaku #chousou #mahito #jogo jjk #gojo satoru

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sarahjtv · 2 months

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My Hero Academia Chapter 428 Spoiler Talk: Did Kohei Horikoshi Just Blueball Us???

So, that just happened, huh? Not a bad chapter by any means. It was a solid, slice-of-life-ish chapter that continues to give us our beloved Class 2-A kids some idea of how life is going to be like now that the war is over:

The chapter starts off where we left off 2 weeks ago with the new first-years (the new Class 1-A) fangirling over Shoto and Bakugo. Iida has to step in to stop the chaos while Bakugo and Shoto hide behind him like little kids using their big brother as a shield 😂! It's cool to know that our kids have fans now and seeing them as Senpai to new Kohais is a nice idea to think about. I also like that there's a panel of Shinsou in the class to remind all of us that he's part of the main group now.

There's also a tall 1st-year who is inspired by Deku and wants to be like him after seeing him fight in the war! I love that for him 💚! I don't think Deku's really had any fans outside his classmates before, so it's nice to see how people are looking up to him like how he looked up to All Might.

A little later, we see our Class 2-A working to help clean up the wreckage from the war with Fat Gum, Best Jeanist, and Edgeshot who FUCKING SURVIVED (BRO, HOW???) and is now just a big strand of string with a face and tiny string arms 😂😭! It's a funny visual for now, but Edgeshot says that he'll be better than ever hopefully which makes Bakugo show a wobbly, awkward smile 🧡.

I also love how much Bakugo has changed in general. It has been a slow, general progression, but it's clear that he's softening up and opening up more to the people around him. It's such great character development for him. I love this dude so much 🧡

It's also cool to see the kids work and use their Quirks to help clean up all the rubble. We've seen them do this a little before during the Provisional License Exam, but it's good to see it again because it's a good reminder that there's more to Hero work than just beating the bad guys and saving civilians. I can absolutely see how a lot of their Quirks can help out with clean-up duty, but I can't help but wonder how people like Jiro, Shinsou, and Kaminari use their Quirks though can already think of some ideas. Actually, Kaminari can restore power to towns and cities, but he can't use his Quirk to help pick up rubble.

The civilians and even the new Class 1-A kids come along and are more than willing to help clean up the mess too. The heroes are being trusted more again and then getting help from the people who they thought lost faith in them is a great sign for that bright future everyone hopes for. I also have high hopes for the new UA kids. They're already heroes in their own right by wanting to help during their first few days at the school. I also really like the look of the few new designs we get out of these kids. As expected of our mangaka!

Later that night, we are told that the students at UA aren't forced to stay at the dorms anymore, probably because things have calmed down after the war. This is good to hear because while I know the kids loved life at the dorms, I'm sure they missed their families too. I won't be surprised if some students in general decide to stay home for a while. I'm sure this also gives Horikoshi an excuse not to draw so many characters in one panel because god knows this man has his work cut out for him over the next 2-3 weeks.

The last couple of pages boil down to beautifully drawn panels of Ochako who's still keeping up that fake smile and optimistic façade and Izuku and Tsuyu worrying about her because something is CLEARLY wrong. Ochako does eventually break down remembering Himiko Toga and her fate. This chapter doesn't outright confirm nor deny what happened to Toga, but I'm pretty sure she's dead. I don't think Ochako would be this sad if Toga was alive in any capacity. It sucks because Toga had a change of heart in her final moments and I think she would have been given something of a second chance had she lived. But, maybe not because I don't know how society would really treat her if she was allowed to go out in public again. I would love for Toga to be alive, but I'm betting my gatcha money that she isn't... Still, this is a big loss for Ochako and I feel for her. I still can't help but feel we got blueballed on Toga's fate, though and I'm not sure how to really feel about that.

The final page shows us that Izuku used some embers of One For All to get to Ochako who's on the same hill back during the "We're Weird" conversation they had before the Final War. First off, Izuku bby 🥹💚. Second, this absolutely sets up Izuku and Ochako finally talking to each other since the Final War ended. I assume some kind of love confession is going to happen, but I'm not 100% sure because I don't know if now is a good time for that or not. Ochako definitely needs a shoulder to cry on and Izuku needs to talk to someone about what happened, so we'll have to see where things go from here.

Regardless, we have 2 chapters left and something has to happen before the end. It's going to be bittersweet next week though because we are getting the Cover and a Color Page in WSJ! These will be the last ones we get, so I hope they're special. Knowing Horikoshi, the art and coloring are going to be immaculate and I am going to cry happy tears for the next 2 weeks.

We will also get a 16-chapter tie-in chapter for the new You're Next movie by Yoko Akiyama, the mangaka for the spin-off Team Up Missions manga! I love her art so much! It's very similar to Horikoshi's, but the style and the coloring especially is so soft and cute! It's perfect for a slice-of-life-esque spin-off like TUM and she hasn't disappointed me yet. Plus, I'm 99% sure she did the manga tie-ins for the 2nd and 3rd movies too, so this was expected.

We're finally at the penultimate and final chapters of the series. I still can't believe it's ending. Just 2 weeks to go starting this Sunday.

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aki-shun · 1 year

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Transformation

Transformed into a dragon fae by Yandere !!Male!! Reader x Yandere Malleus

Original

VERY BAD ENGLISH AND VERY IMPORTANT

First of all, I apologize for my bad drawing.

There was a reason why I was absent for a long time, and it just happened. There had been a disaster in my country in the past months and training had stalled for weeks. For this reason, the issues such as extending the period were returning. And I went go to school, they say 'the exams start tomorrow'. We started the exams that week, which should normally be 2-3 weeks later, and my grades were ruined along with my days. I apologize for not sharing this situation with you. So I wanted to draw this picture as an apology to you, Please forgive me.

I have a situation of not being able to come back for 2 weeks because they decided to speed up the period instead of extending it. Yes, it's ridiculous, but the heads decide. Therefore, the projects to be taken at the end of the semester were requested next week💀💀. (They don't pity us students). And I have 9 projects that I need to train :,). (none of them will be enough)

But there is nothing I can do, so those who are waiting for my posts and in my question box, I apologize again to all of you and ask you to wait for me for a while.

I hope you have read this post because no one reads the 'IMPORTANT' posts I wrote and that is sad. However, I will try to share as much as I can. If there is a problem please do not be afraid to contact me.

I love you all, have a good day.

#Definitely deserved to be among the worst drawings in the world #How can it be this bad even though I spent 10 hours #please wait for me patiently #twisted wonderland #disney twst #twst #twisted wonderland × male reader #yandere twst #yandere malleus draconia #yandere malleus #malleus draconia #yandere malleus x reader #twst malleus draconia #twst malleus #malleus x male reader #malleus x reader #yandere malleus x male reader #male reader

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yallmakemyassitch · 2 years

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Let us reminisce...

(aka never ever dump)

#1: "Lee" Cassette Goon

Okay this one was honestly just a pipe dream; CG in lee mood. Didn't look all that deep into it and just thought it would be cool to draw considering her personality lol

#2: Underfell Papyrus?!

Yeahhhhh lemme explain. So there's this person on DeviantArt who made BANGER tickle fics of Undertale, especially Underfell and I fucking loved how they characterized Papyrus as this mean, tough soldier when in reality, he was a softy who loved tickling his bro. The fics are so heartwarming and while the account has laid stagnant for a while now, I absolutely recommend you read them. Can't remember the username so just search up "Underfell tickle fanfic" and the first result should be called Brother Monster. Anyways I wanted to do a digital drawing with UF!P absolutely annihilated Sans but I fucked shit up with the second panel so.... Just imagine Sans is being destroyed right now

#3: Torture

Gypsy was essentially being interrogated for information after being captured and kidnapped to the AAHW. Obviously, when it comes to the tickle torture it wasn't anything she expects and Gypsy quickly learns that the Auditor will not stop his until he gets what he wants

#4: Ironic situation

Pretty funny how he was a ruthless leader just three images ago. I had a Soldat OC in mind and made him the lover of the Auditor, someone he can be soft with behind closed doors but also have fun with. Essentially, Auditor liked being tickled and used his own powers just so the Soldat can come over and do the t h i n g ᕦ⁠(⁠ò⁠_⁠ó⁠ˇ⁠)⁠ᕤ. I actually want to make him real so expect him to show up real soon (+)

#5: The final zerbert for dessert

I had a lot of trouble with p.t 2 of the TxA post and this happened to be the panel that got scrapped, nothing much to say about it other than I thought it was too bland.

Anyways sorry for the lack of new content, exams start next week and I've been mostly focused on school. What you saw was just some old art that never made it out alive, most of my never ever really are just sketches or art so old it'll make you age 10 years just looking at it. It's cool though, I'm still working on Chapter 1 of my fic and the release date should be out soon. Isn't that so exciting?!!! Anyways hope y'all's year has been starting off pretty well, byeonara for now! (⁠ﾉ⁠≧⁠∇⁠≦⁠)⁠ﾉ⁠ ⁠ﾐ⁠ ⁠┻⁠━⁠┻ 💕

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popculturebuffet · 3 months

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Pride Month: The Pride Season 1 Review: Their Here, There Queer, Get Used To It (Comission for WeirdKev27)

Hello all you happy people. It's pride month and once again i'm late to the party as things have been hectic, in this case catching up on stuff and then just having my body and mood crash entirely for a week. But we're back and once again Kev has some rainbow flavored treats he wants me to hand out. Also some stuff to review.

This time we're kicking things off with a look at 2011 comic The Pride, starting with it's first mini series later renamed The Pride Season 1 after coming to comixology.

The Pride comes from gay comic writer and gay rights advocate Joe Glass. Glass has written a ton of queer comics i'm curious to check out, with the pride being one of his first and most notable works and one that he still dives into ocasionally, writing a sequel for Comixology in 2017, a spinoff series the Pride Adventures, with a summer special and new mini series, Agenda Dysphoria, coming this year.

The Pride follows it's universe's first, and possibly comics first all queer superhero team after openly queer superhero Fabman feels the community isn't getting nearly enough representation on the bigger team, with this universe's justice league stand in being outright homophobic at best. So he gathers all the queer superheroes he knows and together they fight for truth, justice and acceptance, while dealing with a mad preacher who plans to turn people with the superhero gene into his servants to take over the world, as you do and be a homophobic jackass, as the church often do.

The Pride seemed to be a modest success, and is something I was curious to check out: I read the first issue years ago when season 2 was announced.. and wasn't impressed, but when Kev pitched it I figured it'd be a neat thing to look at. See if I was wrong about the book and it was better than I expected or if it was just meh. So join me under the cut for pride as their here, their queer, and they've got a bear, their the pride.

The pride is drawn by Gavin Mitchell, who does a decent job, having a cartoony style with sketchy lines I feel fits the book's old school tone with modern values approach well. The weird thing is.. Mitchell only draws HALF the series, drawing thesee first two issuea nd then issue 5, so the series does suffer a bit from the art being consitant, some is good, some is not, so keep that in mind as you see panels.

We open to a news report as some jerky reporters report on various other superheroes, including Crabman and Lobster boy, a mustached crabman.

And his young soon to be dead ward. I... badly want a spinoff with this guy I mean look at him

He's a crab man with a mustache, a human hand for some reason, and a sucession of lobster boys who died horribly but don't seem to be his fault. I also like how Fabman smiles at this. Like he just loves how rediculous the world of superheroics is. But seriously if a crab dealing with severe losses on a regular basis who dresses like Freddy Mercury isn't a spinoff pitch you want to hear, I don't know what I can possibly offer you as you clearly lost lost the abliity to feel joy long ago. Now if your against it because he MIGHT have murdered a teenager.. fair point. I don't think he did on purpose justding by his OH CRAP face, but still fair.

Fabman's in his civies.. kinda dealing with the fact the hosts of the newscast casually throw out homophobic shit about him rescuing "a hunk" and outright use the term trick. You know Kent Brockman may sell out to our ant overlords but he never pulled that shit.

This unease from the broadcast compounds when we cut to some kids playing with their toys.. and one brings out a fabman figure. The two other kids turn into homophobic shit lords... only for Fabman to show up and scare the crap out of them. They super run away and the kid, Billy talks to his faviorit hero, admitting he didn't choose to be diffrent, and wondering why people suck, hoping one day they can see how great fabman is. Fabman wonders that too.. and the gears turn in his head

We get a one page interlude as we meet our villians, the reverend and basher. The reverend has basher kill a guy for complaning about exploding a little, how dare he before rambling ominously about "Ma plans".

Fabman starts to round up the heroes who will be thwartin "ma plans". We first meet Frost, An english heroine, transwoman and lesbian into punishing "Naughty Boys". She's as cold as her power set, but game for whatever her friend has plan. She was beating up some assholes in an ally who made the mistake of trying to accost her. She's the best.

Next is White Trash, A tatooed white man with super tough skin who runs some gang bangers off a basketball court but has one of the kids he saved used the f slur. I do like this bit, with Fabman saying "it ruins the good feeling every time dosen't it".. that even rescuing someone as a queer person.. can have the person still be homophobic. White Trash brushes it off as while it does indeed suck, he's a kid: Kids can change... and is honored to meet fabman and hear him out.

We next meet my faviorites out of the pride as some homophic assholes are mid hate crime when one of them ups and hits another and we meet Angel, pansexual drag queen with the powers of a confusion field that messes up the brain pans for those nearbye and makes them attack their foes and Bear, hard gay man who can turn into a literal bear. While having a Bear turn into a bear is the most on the nose thing imaginable I can't help but love it for it's sheer audacity and the bear gets fleshed out so much over the series he's hard not to love. The two are close friends and a duo and Angel mentions Fabs offer.

The final initial member of our party is Queen Sapphire, an amazon whose black gay wonder woman, Nubia before she got to be that, and whose stopping an asshole throwing a brick at someone working at planned parenthood and who runs straight into fabman's abs. Lucky asshole. Fabman invites his new friend Sapphire to the meeting.

Th group meet at the gay bar, gay bar, gay bar Fabulosa, Fabman's hq. Fabman gets into it briefly with Angel over not including T in calling this a SLBG meetup.. this was long before non binary and asexual were as known or accepted, something I have heard the sequel corrects and is forgiviable given when this came out. I also like this as it shows queer people can mistakes in their own community. And having seen the massive dumptrucks of biphobia int eh owl house fandom (Though most of us are awesome) over Huntlow.. can confirm.

Speaking of which at least for this arc the team has none which does bother me a bit as there's a B in the term.. but no actually bi members of the team. I do respect Glass not adding one just to have one and going with the characters he had, so it dosen't ruin the book for me, but it is something I hope later mini series course corrects as the team DOES expand in season 2.

Fabman gives his full pitch

And it's sad that most of the speech still holds. The first part.. never really felt like a thing in comics: Sure homophobic jackasses exist and always have, but most queer heroes were taken seriously in universe. The problem was, and still is, that a lot of queer heroes are lower profiled, either due to being introduced later or being firmly established as straight. There's exceptions like Iceman and Wonder Woman, but both came out AFTER this series was published, and even now while there are more queer heroes than ever before, it tends to be a dice roll if any actually get pushed. As Fabman later points out, teams might have a queer member or two, but they generally tend to just hav eone. And when you look at the major super teams right now their pretty bone dry in terms of queer members: The Avengers, as good as the current roster is, has exactly zero queer members. The Justice League when last around had two (Black Canary and Hipolita). The Titans, dc's current main team has zero. I"m not knocking the writers, I get ediotrial has a say, but it gets to the heart of the issue: most of the biggest heroes were throughly established as straight. Jonathan Kent, Superman, is one of the few exceptoins and even then DC has no idea what the fuck to do with him after his initial push wasn't the roaring sucess they hoped for. While Queer Rep, IS way better these days, the lack of visablity is still an issue. For all this mini's issues i'm glad the pride exist for that reason alone: why NOT have an almost entirely queer superteam? one that welcomes the straights sure, but is mostly queer people being who they are and fighting for the world like any other team, while also repping the community. If the big two can't make superman gay, make your own superman who is. Who has all the ideals of the character, but just happens to like guys and wear even tighter fitting pants. Seriously I may not be into fabman but I respect his giant crotch bulge in the panel above. Size isn't evertyhing but it's still fucking impressive.

As for media rep while sexless is slowly being weeded out, he wasn't wrong at the time nad even now having the gay character be a joke machine is still a common device.

At any rate the team soon gets an audition: Twink.. who starts by taking his shirt off

I do love everyone's reaction to him stripping down and worry when he says he dosen't want to ruin his close. He dosen't have a super dong like fabman though, his power is instead.. basically colossus. This is Twink, a younger member.

And now as Fabman goes to recurit the team's final member with everyone on board, let's take a moment to adress the elephant in the room. Some of the cast falls into typical LBGTQS+ niches to the point it COULD feel sterotypical. I mean fabman runs a gay bar, gay bar, gay bar, and is camp as hell, and well.. do I really have to outline where guys named the Bear and the Twink fit into the gay community. And that's just what I do know as while being bi, I don't know how say Angel reads to a drag audience or Frost to a trans one.

From my limited perspective though it mostly works: The most overt refrences.. are coming from a gay man himself and feel firmly tounge in cheek, while the characters themselves are well fleshed out, something I missed on first read as I only made it one issue. As the series goes on they get depth to them that really helps them stand out.

With that they have a team.. but they need one last member. Naturally it's down to Fabman to go to a seedy bar to recurit him. Which may be an uphill battle as someone else in the community already tried.

Yeah our final member wolf.. is wolverine combined with batman but gay. Granted Marvel would have a gay wolverine soon after this, but props to Glass he did it first and Logan does have a lot of hairy gay man energy in him, so it makes sense. He has logan's gruff nature, love of bars and denim off duty, and batman's millions, detective skills and lack of powers. I love their back and forth: The two feel like old pals which is something hard to pull off sometimes in fiction, to make it feel that lived in without sounding force but the two trade barbs, Fabs treis to drink whisky and spits it out and eventually a barfight happens as a homophobic asshole makes a deal of it. Twink steps in to help and Fabs reveals WHY he needs Wolf for the team: Training. The team is good.. but haven't trained as a team and twink in paticular, while good for a rookie with his self training, hasn't had proper training yet. Wolf decides what the hell and our team is complete and so's issue 1.

We then get a few origin storys, something sprinkled thorughout the first few issues: First up is white trash, a kid in a poor community whose dad abused him, heavily implied to be because he was gay, and who eventually had enough, kicked the man's homophobic ass and became a force for good in his community. Then we have Wolf, who in a flashback is being considered by the justice division. Wolf is buisnessman thomas everett, who inherted a company when his parents died in a carcrash and had already been training to be a vigilinate. His massive success gets him the spot.. and we'll find out why he lost it later.

Next issue opens with Wolf in their danger room thing, having just cleaned up and showed off for a very impressed rest of the team. Fabman reveals he didn't just get wolf as a trainer: Wolf will be co-leader: while Fabs is the groups overall head, Wolf will be in charge in the field and of training the team.

Twink is super smitten by wolf and a big fan, having seen him in the justice division and wondering why he quit. As I alluded to earlier though.. he didn't. The bastards fired him and he's not ashamed to share why: Brian was closted as a hero as first, getting his big call to the majors, but teamed up with Fabs. While the two were never a thing, it was nice to have someone to confide in.

Unfortuantley the tabolids being the dicks they were caugh ton to the tow's friendship and glommed onto it. The Division.. were less than sympathetic, and asked if he was gay. When he said yes.. they dropped him. Mostly Superdude, the lead, who was concerned about their "family friendly image", which can go straight to hell and is also eerily accurate of how hard it was to get queer characters into children's media. Wolf's over it, though he also figures they weren't All on board with this shit, the Venusian in paticular being uncomfortable as their species has no concept of gender. It's nice nod to nonbinary folks and judging from tv tropes, this gets dug into a bit more next series. I do grant this is with the issue that most nonbinary characters tend to be aliens , but it dosen't feel like the cheat it usually is here, just a nod to a community just starting to pop out and the fact they explore what that means next time. I also wouldn't mind if mainstream jonnn was nonbinary, even if he still used masculine pronouns.

The next day the crew heads for their first training session, with Angel making sure Bear's up to this healthwise. We'll find out why soon enough, for now though he flirts a bit with white trash as the trio and frost head up to find Queen Sapphire and Twink duking it out. Turns out this is his plan: Have them spar so they can find out each other's weaknesses. They were also supposed to be here way sooner and he admits he's going to ride them hard. He dosen't use that exact phrasing because of the book we're in, but they need to be ready. They've worked indvidually but they haven't really worked with teams. It's something i've seen in superhero comics before, it was an issue when the x-men roster was cut in half by the mutant massacre and had to restock with people who either only had worked solo or with one othe rperson (Psylocke and Dazzler) or never done proper superhero work let alone team work (Longshot). The team is good, it's why Fabman recurited them but I like that they don't function as a team out of a box and don't have that team experince most superheroes have. In a mainstream comics universe 9/10 heroes have been on a team at some point and thus even if theirs synergy issues, the team can still work effectively enough.

Fabman interrupts as a fire has happened at another gay bar and they need to go save that shit as they really couldn't ask for a better debut. He's a bit TOO jazzed about that part, but still, even untrained, it's a simple search and rescue. Even if a villian is there, they don't need to be in top shape yet.

At the fire Wolf has Angel work crowd control and twink wisely points out he'll be more of a danger as a metal man inside a raging furance, so he's given back door duty. I swear to god these innuendos are not intentional.. they are fun though.

As frost uses her powers to cool things down a bit, they find the culprit holding some surviviors hostage:" Firebomb, a guy with charred skin, cool googles and a love of hate crimes. Seriously the guy throws the F slur around casually. The villians in this book.. are about as subtle in thier bigotry as a captain planet villian is at looting the enviromrment. And their bigotry.

Thankfully for our heroes Frost easily cancels out his powers while his attempt to flee gets interupted by a metal fist to the face. Our heroes first outing, I swear to fucking god they won't stop, is a rousing success. The pride then make their grand debut to the press, with Fabman even expertly fielding the slightly insenstive question of "Are you only going to rescue gay people" Of course not. This is simply about standing out and letting queer heroes shine. Their the pride and their here to stay.. and unforutantely for them the reverned is watching and one of them is now key to his plans.

Secret origins next. Angels is just a fun monologue of her other half explaning who she is and why she does this: Someone has to keep her "babies" in the community safe. Muscle Mary gets a more proper one, a nice twist on Wondy's origin: Like the amazons of theymiscera, they had man visit for the first time in forever but it was less plesant with one killing her mom. Showing ultimate compassion she choose to take them back instead, going herself to find the good in the world and protect it, debuting at a pride parade, hence the muscle mary moniker.

So next issue opens with the news. They even called april o neil the star reporter, who took a break from turtles business to do a man on the street. That also implies some form of ninja turtles exist in this universe. Crossover when IDW?

There's a mix of genuine support, your usual bigoted idiots, and one oprah knockoff questoning if they need yet another super team. The short answer yes, the long answer go fuck yourself. The worst of it though is that one journalist outs that the bear has HIV. Be sure that you see that he has HIV but it's not aids. He dosen't got the AIDS.

Twink is shocked by this and leaves for some air. Bear follows him and the following scene.. is one of my faviorites. While Twink is nervous and dosen't know much about AIDS, worrying it might be an issue in their line of work, Bear assures him it's fine: it's only transmitable fluid to fluid and he takes goo denough care of himself that it transfering by blood, imprable enough given he has super endurance meaning the only person who could bust him open is someone likely invunerable, is VERY unlikely and already is as it'd take a lot to get there. The two are good and with a ton of calls coming in the team answer them.. badly.

Twink gets the worst of it though as his parents called. They hadn't contacted him since they sent him to a camp to cure his powers.

We cut back to the reverend plotting ominously. Yeah this happens.. a LOT over the series and is most of what he does. You'd THINK this would be a way to flesh him out, figure out who this guy is as a villian and why he's sucha homophobic piece of shit. I'm not asking for a tragic backstory, but i'm asking for more characters than "BLER RELIGION GAYS BAD BLEGH". While, especially on diving in closer for this review, the main cast is good, the antagonists are just.. pahtetically one note. The Reverend is just a hateful old man who wants to take over the world. There's nothing to it.

Compare this to X-Men, because that's my baseline and it always will be: This comparison is a little left field as they had their own evil reverend, reverend stryker. Striker was also an evil old man plotting genocide and who hated a minority, in this case mutants, a stand in for real live evangelicals.. but the diffrence is the reverend.. was smart. Instead of Doing his evil work out in the open or relying on a convoluted scheme like this rev, he simply pedaled his ministries on tv. And given this rev has mind control powers, you wonder why he didn't just think to do that in the first place and work on broadcasting it before he got excomjmunicated. Striker is both more intresting and more dangeorus because like far too many bigots, he THINKS he's right, and tries to use respectablity politics. This guy.. is juts one lunatic with magic knowledge of genetics and a hulk literally named basher.

Back with our heroes they have isssues as Angel and Frost are refusing to train figuring their experinced enough, not getting their good ALONE not as a team. Even Bear sides with Wolf on this one. Unfortunately this argument about training.. comes just as someone else wants to argue with the team: The Justice Divsion ar ehere. Turns out the scanner for HQ hadn't been setup which Wolf is rightfully miffed by.

The JD are led by Superdued, the guy at the forfront of the "Kick wolf out for being gay" charge and head of the team. Think worst timeline shaggy rogers but with super powers. They've come to tell the team to stop.

I do like this bit as it riffs on a common trope in comics that frustrates the hell out of me and i'm glad to see it torn apart here with a much less sympathetic team to boot. See DC has a VERY bad habit of having the Justice League act like judgmental asses and try to put a stop to a super team. The Avengers have done this on occasion too, see the New Warriors series from marvel now, but it's very much a league thing. They've done it to Young Justice, the 2003 Version of the Teen Titans, the rebirth Titans, the rebirth Teen Titans, and just casually flipping through the redhood and the outlaws graphic novel from web toon while at barnes and noble, those versions do it to the outlaws. There's likely more I have no idea about. And that's not getting into Bruce's uber dickish habbit of trying to run any vigilante he dosen't like out of gotham. Sometimes the instinct is right like with Savant, most of the time he just dosent like not having control. The League is the big name in the land sure, I can respect that, but their not god. They shouldn't have a right to judge other teams unless said teams are say edgelord harmful asshats like the elitie or outright super villians. Yes the titans and YJ were their sidekicks, but they were also overseen by one of their own in the case of young justice, and experinced heroes in the case of The Teen Titans.

So it's very satisfying to see the pride. stonewall their wish.com counterparts, especially since Superdued talking over everyone.. actually stops the venusian from making actual progress as they make the valid point they might not be ready and may of got them to agree to simply not go out in the field for a bit instead of Earth 3 Spicoli and his bird friend trying to convience them to "stand down" or "Join other teams', both options they clearly don't want nor asked for. It's a nice exercise in false allyship: how most of the division just wants to shut them down.. when if they REALLY cared about them not dying: offer to train them. No reallly. Wolf is doing it and he got his tactics from them, if your that concerned about them dyign and not about them being openly queer if inexperinced as a team on this level, offer team training. They'd still likely refuse.. but the fact they jump right to disbanding instead of helping them be better unmasks how they simply don't want to deal with a superteam that's both this gay and clearly wont' just bend the knee because the big 7 showed up.

So naturally a fight insues. and our team do hold well.. till Angel makes a mistake and uses her powers. Problem is.. Venusean is a telepath so it broadcasts it to EVERYONE and destroys the place. The Justice Assholes leave.. but proved a point: They may not be ready. And wolf agrees.. not that they shoudln't be a team, fuck those guys, but that they weren't ready and Angel now gets why train as a team: because you don't know how your powers might interact in a fight. In good situations you can create a circut and do a super teamwork combo. In bad... it trips up your allies and you. Still Wolf's calling a break and while Fabman is worried this might've been a bad idea, wolf assures him no, he did what had to be done and this willw ork promise.

The two have a longer talk, and Wolf makes a valid point, and a meta point about why this team exists: The big teams often have maybe ONE person of color or two women and the women rarely lead. A team that's diverse stands out. And he's sadly not wrong. Marvel IS having Captain Marvel lead the avengers right now, but previously leaders were Cap, Sam Wilson Cap, and Cap again bitches. Sam is black, so that helps a little, but in general marvel tends to default to cap, while DC defaults to supes. John Kent wasn't even in the league in his time as head superman. These aren't bad characters, I love Supes and Cap a lot, but it's tied to my point earlier: There aren't a ton of a-list, big powerful queer characters in marvel or dc. Plenty of queer characters but for DC"s biggest it's just harely and wondy (And Ivy when she's on the good guys side), with Alan Scott for the JSA and for Marvel it's Teddy, Wiccan and Hercules for the avengers, no one for the fantastic four, and Iceman, Magik, Captain Britan, and Kitty Pryde out of the major x-men (Though to the x-men's credit there is a lot more queer characters than most comics stables) and Magik and Kitty haven't really gotten to explore their bi sides yet, both being confirmed bisexual in a one off joke and a panel that went nowhere repsectively. The PRide has it's faults.. but it is very nice for the core of a superhero universe to be it's queer characters. Hopefully they get more poc, but it's still more gay than most teams have.

Meanwhile Basher kills a bussload of people and kidnaps one. This turns out to be Bear's son with Bear getting the whole we have your kid speil after coming back from a night out with White Trash, who he also brought home. So a bit of a wash all things considered.

Origins again: This time it's , Da Bear, and his origin is one of my faviorites: he was a closted gay man who didn't realize he was gay till he became a bear man one day. In this verse, some people get their powers from the "X-Cel Virus" basically their verison of the x gene mixed with the viral nature of generator rex's nanites. He found out he was gay, got a divorce , and soon got HIV but soldiers on anyway.

We then get Fabmans one I honestly love. He's Stephen Wainwright: he always knew he was gay and not only did his parents catch on before he came out, but they were fully supportive, being nothing but proud of their son. Stephen, like the hero he's modeld after, is a kind hearted soul who only wants to help, helping consule those in his community and offer support. He later opened his bar simply to give his community a place to relax and be safe. It's this kind, open nature and pride in who he is that attracted some aliens, who had been watching him.. which would be creepy if they weren't clearly looking for a pargon of virtue to bestow powers on. Okay i'ts still a little creepy but hey they gave him powers for being a good person who isn't remotely ashamed of who he is and who always wanted to help people. I'm not going to judge too harshly. So like his parents and Stephen himself they coudln't be prouder.

The next issue opens with the team all meeting early in the morning, most not in costume. Angel had a show already so their the only one ready besides the Bear. We also get details on his relationship with his son and heartwarmingly.. it's really good. While The Bear and his ex wife naturally weren't on the best terms after the breakup, she never hid his son from him nor kept him. So while Jacob didn't grow up near his dad, the two did know each other and Bear couldn't be prouder

While the Bear wants to go after basher NOW, Wolf tells him to ease up a bit: not because he dosen't care.. but because it's an obvious trap. Bear naturally can't wait for common sense and rushes off. Thankfully.. Wolf saw this coming and his assuring shoulder pat included a tracer. He's going to have Angel fill him in, try to figure out who the hell basher is and hopefully fast enough to get there before this guy can really hurt bear.

Bear meets basher and Basher is naturally a dick, using the f slur, calling bear "Riddled with diseas" and generally being punchable. He wants bear though, and easily wrecks our poor ursine pal. Luckily our pal has pals of his own and a fight begins. The fight takes up most of the issue and is nicely tense with Basher essentially being a homophobic juggernaught. And while as a character his characterization begins and ends with "I don't like the gays", he is a decent threat at least. OUr heroes try EVERYTHING.. and come up short. They do dent the guy a bit.. but not enough and while Bear's son , Jake, chimes in, Bear's rage after Basher punts him gives the asshole the opening he needs to knock out or pal and run off with him.

Origins time again. This time frost is first as she has an interview with a reporter.. and freezes his research as she's worked hard to hide her past pre transition. She's not ashamed of being trans, and it seems Fabman knows, but her family disowning her fo rbeing who she always was is clearly a sore spot.

Next is twink who writes to his parents. It tells us mostly what the text has: he's a big superhero fanboy who always was one. Getting powers was the happiest day of his life.. but his parents instead feared this and sent him to madman to try an dcure him. Given the gay conversion therapy parallels you can probably guess WHO they sent him to. I certainly did. He's happy with who he is though and his freedom.

Issue 5 opens with the pride having a wake. Naturally assholes are protesting it. It's a weird thing.. but I respect the comic for using the f slur. It's not for shock value, it's simply being realistic, and it's something queer people face every day. It's something a lot of comics would censor but glass knows is necessary.

The pride haven't given up... but have a good justifcation for doing this: as Fabman points out superheroes have learned to "hope for the best, expect the worst". Given how many heroes end up dead but come back or were never dead, fair point. It's also been a few weeks, giving the team time offscreen to train. Speaking of which.. wolf asks Owen, aka Cub, to join the team. While Cub is straight.. Wolf genuinely dosen't care. It's not about exclusion, i'ts about family and right now Cub coudl use one. He tearfully accepts.

We also get introduced to Angel OUT of costume, Kele Amos and his wife. Everyone's happy to meet her and finds out Angel is pansexual. There's four absences though: Fab Man is taking the loss personally, even more than Angel and Owen who vow revenge, so White Trash went to find him, while Frost... seemingly didn't care to show up. Sapphire was absent.. because she went to go confront her at the gay bar gay bar, but not the gay bar gay bar gay bar in front of their HQ.

Frost is seemingly not effected.. but Sapphire sees through it: she's afraid to cry and be vunerable and while Frost is offended for a second.. she breaks down. The two end up embrasing and while Frost tries to come out at trans, Sapphire assures her she knows all she needs to know.

Their not the only hookup either as WOlf and Twink have a training session, with Twink frustrated they have no leads an daccidently bodying Wolf across the room. He kisses him in the heat of it, Wolf kisses him back. Another couple paired off.

Finally we get to White Trash and Fabman. Fabs naturally blames himself, but White Trash shuts that shit down: Harvey knew the risks, was out there every day in spite of them, and was proud of who he is and this team. He makes a cabaret refrence, for a drag queen he once knew and life is a cabaret: sometims it's good, sometimes it sucks balls. But you'll never get the good if you don't live it.. and making this team.. is living. So White Trash gets him ready to go out.. they don't kiss thoguh. Not his type. Also can Fabman mystically sense when other people ar ebanging or are the others hooking up that much of a forgone conclusion he just assumes it's happening.

After all this hooking up, Wolf gets a spooky spirit message from Bear, whose alive... Basher's using him for his evil mind control plot, revealing it's an evil mind control plot. Seriously is there anything about this guy that isn't a cliche wrapped in hate speech?

At any rate we get a brief scene showing the team's been training hard, leveling up.. and after Cub takes on the highest level of training bot himself, beheading it.

We end the issue on Bassher making a grand announcment to the world as he holds up Bear's bloody body hooked to the machine.

Final issue. As basher makes his announcment Cub, White Trash and Angel and Twink wonder why nothing's happening to them. Their all x-cel positive while the rest of the team has diffrent means. Since it's the only one I forgot to mention, frost got hers via surgery.

Taking an art break the art this issue is decent. Not as good as the other issues but fine. The other issue.s. minus the last one which swapped artists constantly including weirdly ending on Mark ellerby's art. And I fucking love mark ellerby's art but it's more cartoony and din't fit the ominous ending at all.

Our heroes have bigger issues as it turns out most of Justice Division is X-Positive, and thus only Morningstar (the bird asshole form before ) and the Venusian are left as they crash into Pride HQ. Luckily our heroes have been training for this.. both combat and specifically kicking the Justice Divisions assholes which give no homo zonker harris just suantered in trying to shut them down and a fight broke out rather easily, fair point. It pays off as the Pride easily take them down, with Angel in particular getting a nice subtle bit of redemption for botching the last fight, narrowing her focus to just superdude and sending him to the moon. After finishing up with a ncie combo attack, using fabs and morningstar's light powers on Twink's shiny skin to drive the last Divison Member left, a midnighter knockoff who also can move through shadows, down. Wolf also bluntly tells the Venusian and Morningstar to stay put for two reasons despite their insitance that, as the big team they should do it: One, they just koed most of their team, and two, they need someone to protect the city while they hopefully handle this. On this reread for transcribing this review as it's a perfect contrast to the first fight: The first time out most of the team squared up against someone, fighting one on one, a subtle detail I didn't notice but highlights how while they are a team, their not WORKING as one. While tw oget taken out solo, frost targeting bluebird's vocal cords and Sapphire/Muscle Mary easily handeling Mighty Miss (Their wonder woman at home), the first is a strategy they worked out just in case wolf prompts her for, and the rest are all taken out with team work. While it disapointing all the actual training happend off screen, it's an excellent way to show how it's paid off. I would've liked to see them come together as a team, no comment, but I also understand Glass likely could only get the six issues and judging from the fill in artists and especailly issue 5 being a whole GAGLE of various artists and clearly not being intended for that kind of setup, self publishing was a nightmare. It's no wonder the second volume had comixology's help and the third was funded with Kickstarter, to prevent this kind of thing from happening again. So it's that Hazbin Hotel issue of having to cram EVERYTHING they can into 6 issues as they may not get more. It hurts the story a little, but I understand the impulse and thus i'm a bit more forgiving if the story still mostly works.

Thankfully said dream earlier allowed Wolf to track them. As he explains when they get into their dope jet the crusier, there was some sand at the scene that was diffrent, coming from a former nuclear test site. Luckily for our heroes the radiation has gone down enough that the radiation isn't an issue.. but allowed them to track the Reverend down. We also get his backstory: the Reverend is Reverend William Franklin, who was kicked out after he was caught using his powers to brainwash his congregation. I like to think bibleman did it. At any rate his powers didn't work on X-Cels, hence his need for bear.

The team split up: Most of the team stays out front, with Angel taking out most of the brainwashed heroes the rev's summoned, while the team as a whole minus fabman, wolf, twink and frost fight basher. Wolf, Twink and Frost take on the rev's forces.. and it turns out.. they were also a distraction as Fabman cleans house. Outside the res tof the team has an excellent rematch with basher another nice reflection; Before each member fought him one at a time, this time they all work together and angel uses her powers to allow the others to sucker him. It's something I wished i'd noticed on first read as this book is REALLY good at having the team.. work as an actual team once their good and pumped in this last issue. Most team books tend to have them hit em one at a time, but if you have a team.. why not have them do a circuit. I'm not against the group fighting alone, but this and x-men 97 show why a good super circuit is awesome.

White Trash ALMOST kills basher but backs away.. unfortunately though.. cub does not and slits his throat. WEll I mean Basher did deserve it but i'ts not good for the kid himself to murder a guy ya know? As he sobs to his dad as he's freed though Fabman.. is also close, ready to go full red eyes superman on the homophobe.. but being the bigger man dosen't. He destroys the reverends book so he can't channel his powers again, which was just directly pulled out of his perfectly toned ass but whatever. The day is saved.

Their greeted by the entire superhero community they just saved.. who all cheer them. The Pride proved themselves and it while basher's about as complicated as a piece of cardboard, I give the comic credit for having an organic way for them to earn the superhero communites respect.

With that there's just one last bit of buisness, an epilogue finishing up where we began: two months later the Pride are now one of the world's most popular superteam, with both of the anchors no longer being homophobic jackasses.. I doubt they've actually changed, they just recognize they can't make snide queer jokes about the world's saviors. The pride are getting medals of valor while, fair play to them, the justice division not only admitted they had a don't ask don't tell policy but have removed it. The latters the bear minimum and never should've been a thing. The formers.. the part they get more credit for: it's rare for a public figure not forced into it by overwhelming evidence to admit they did something awful, so the divison not only admitting what they likely did to wolf, but likely apologizing for it is big.

Fabman meets with billy and the bullies have also changed their tune finding him awesome. Fabman is here because Billy.. is the one that inspired him to do this. The world wouldn't of been saved and he wouldn't have his new family without them. Billy returns the favor giving fabman his old action figure after fabs gives him a new one, wanting to give fabs a token of where this started.. and his thanks. The why.. brings a tear to our heroes eyes. He fought hard.. and now the world sees Fabman the way billy did, sees all of the pride that way and we end on fabs proudly flying away with the kids telling him to go change the world. Cheesy but it works.

The Pride... is pretty damn good. When I started writing this review, I found it okay. But as often happens my opinon changed the more I engaged with the work. Sometimes that goes the other way: I liked temple of Doom and Lion King II less the more I had to think about them. But here seeing all the little touches, how it has a decently fleshed out cast in such a short time span (With only Sapphire feeling underdeveloped by the end and even she's still decently fleshed out), and how the team slowly grow. It's not perfect: A LOT of the commentary is on the nose with all the villians being one not ebigots. I'm not asking them to be likeable, i'm asking for their to be layers to thier bigotry and hatred, how they operate. The book is not subtle and while it hurts it in the antagonist department, and the rev himself is dispatched cartoonishly easy, it helps everywhere else: As I thought about it the book does raise some really valid points about the big two. it'd be nice if the justice divisoin weren't cardboard cutouts themselves, but it's still a nice commentary on how superhero books tend to have one or two queer people on a team if at all. The Pride isn't subtle, is a tad messy at times.. but i'ts a lot of fun an da concept i'm shocked took this long to happen. An all queer super team is a brilliant concept and I can't wait to see what happens with them next time, next year. I'm all for making the Pride a permenant pride month fixture if this does well enough. For now it was a fun ride and I hope you enjoyed me jawing about it. Thanks for reading.

#the pride #pride month #gay #lesbian #transgender #pansexual #drag #comics #joe glass #queer comics #lbgtqia+#fabman #the bear #angel #wolf #twink #sapphire #frost #cub

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bee-and-the-slimes · 9 months

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2024! (owo)/

First of all, Happy New Year. 🎉 *pfooot*

Second of all, thank you for still flooding my inbox with questions, lol, I'm glad I'm still on your mind, despite having slowed down considerably over the last year. I'm trying to pick and choose the best of them to continue and my "I need to park my butt and work on X" list keeps getting bigger, so thank you to those who have been patient. It's hard to keep up when you have so many ideas percolating and have to juggle a job, a house, hobbies (soooo many hobbies), and friends and family. Here's hoping 2024 can keep me going. Trust me, Bee loves your attention.

Thirdly, I know I've not been very big on talking about the Me behind the slimes, but I originally set out to keep Bee and co as a separate entity from what I normally do. Partially because I have a terrible potty mouth and a lot of my other works aren't really set up for a PG-13 rating, so I kind of wanted to keep that separate for a bit.

That being said, my New Year's goal basically boils down to "Read more, Write more, Draw more" -- one I hit the ground running toward this week. It may be more Bee, it may be more of my other comics, but if I'm silent here, maybe you might be interested in some of the other stuff I do? I haven't stopped doing, I just haven't been doing it here.

Maverick Hunter: Special Forces - Do you like Reploids? I like Reploids. Like, way too much to be considered normal.

SYSTEM.Reload is an attempt to adapt 20 years of RPs and lore building around my and my friend's characters after events of the Megaman X video games. It's a sequel of sorts to an earlier comic RIPtheSYSTEM, which was a collaboration between me and a friend that we started in 2003 and let fizzle out in 2007. .Reload started out as an Ask Blog that never went anywhere, and I just shrugged and drew 250+ pages of characters doing things under the guise of a plot. I don't pretend to know what I'm doing, I'm just kind of enjoying the ride. It's a lot more rudimentary than my actual ART because comics take time and I'm an impatient woman who will physically explode if I don't get my ideas on paper.

My biggest goal is hoping to finish out Part 2 this year. I have the majority of Part 3 written and Part 4 laid out, but I promised myself I'd hit a 2022 goal to complete Part 2 and failed that pretty miserably.... mostly because I keep going back to smooth out wrinkles instead of just finishing the thing.

I genuinely try to keep it censored for Tumblr, but Delta has the temper of a gangster with the mouth of a drug problem.

My DeviantArt - BUT WAIT, there's more! If you aren't sick of OCs or Reploids or OC Reploids you might like my page of art dump. It's where the rest of my stuff gets tossed that isn't Slimes. I don't really draw fanart that much, so mostly my work of upcoming comic panels and ideas that I haven't gotten to work in SYSTEM.Reload yet, commission work, short stories, plushies, or just RP related stuff that I felt like drawing out.

And everything is related.

Everything.

Right now I'm obsessed with working on a short story novella about a vampire named Alecscander St. John, who sucks (hurr) at being a vampire. Born in 1842, he left Texas in 1864, watched his uncle hang for a murder he didn't commit, and 'died' in 1876. I plan to be very mean to him as he tries to build a life for himself while his ex-wife holds a grudge and his adopted sire makes his life miserable. :3c Because I'm a writer. I write. And I've read too much Dresden Files to see everyone get a happy, boring existence...

So... yeah. Here goes... It's 2024.

Wish me luck.

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iamthecomet · 1 year

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Hoot once again!

I‘m really glad to hear this. Our little ritual means a lot to me <3

I am so sorry for her, but very glad that she figured it out now. Growing up undiagnosed can be (and is most of the time) very traumatic

While I’m a bit younger, I still spent my entire childhood and half of my youth (I’m gonna pretend it has been only half of it so far cause whatever the fuck I had/have is most definitely not a joyful youth). So while I can‘t fully relate, I still kind of get it and can at least imagine how it must me for her

It‘s pretty hard to get an autism diagnosis, because it cannot be done by a regular psychiatrist (unlike ADHD for example, which is why I at least have that diagnosis already). In my area there is only one place where you can get a diagnosis and the waiting list is LONG (not the worst I‘ve seen so far but at least half a year, which is terrible if you need to get help as quickly as possible but you need a diagnosis to get any kind of help). But I’m working on it

Thank youuuu

I planned chapter 2 out yesterday

It ended up to be “only” 5 pages, but it has 39 panels (chapter 1 has 24 panels)

So I think I’ll still get more of the story across even though it seems to be one page shorter

I will most likely start working on it in November

Your day sounds pretty nice!

Today, I was really stressed and worried about something and I did it okay-ish, but I can‘t change shit anymore now anyways so I’ll have to stop worrying and just wait and see

I also had a doctors appointment to get blood drawn and tested (cause due to the meds I take I’m apparently at a higher risk of malnutrition/lack of some stuff) and it was literally the most pleasant doctors appointment I’ve ever had.

I was a too early (as always) and had to wait outside a bit because they were still on lunch break but I was let inside a few minutes earlier anyways and so I was alone in the waiting area. And the nurse was incredibly kind and nice (she had me lay down for it because she didn’t want to risk that I could pass out and then she let me take my time to get back up again). It was overall incredibly nice and I was done not even 15 minutes after my appointment (so none of that annoying waiting time that usually comes with doctors appointments)

I also wanted to mention this in the past days already but I somehow didn‘t haha:

So I saw Someone do OC-tober and I absolutely LOVED the idea! (I’m one of these people that just never really draws their OCs lmao)

So I put together a prompt list for myself and I’m really excited about it ^^

(I‘m also planning on participating in Ghosttober with my writing which is why I’m probably going to be a little stressed all throughout October which is why I’ll most likely start working on chapter 2 in November)

I once again truly hope that you had a pleasant day! ♥️

~ @owlishanon

I like our little ritual too! ♥ When my friend got her diagnosis she couldn't get it from a regular psychiatrist either. She also got her ADHD diagnosis a couple years earlier because that was much easier. Autism she had to take a handful of tests over a period of time to actually get the diagnosis. But she was 98% sure what it would be before she got it. So I guess it's a pain in the ass no matter where you try to get it. Hoping that you are able to get through that process soon and get the help that you need. I'm glad your doctor's appointment went well and was easy. That's such a rare thing. And that you had a nurse who was really accommodating and understood what you needed. I was wondering why you said you would work on chapter two in November, until I got to the end of your ask. There are A LOT of things going on in October. And it will be kind of nice to take a pause on working so hard on that and doing some other stuff. I'm really excited for kinktober/ghostober whatever we're calling it. I'm trying to get the first week written and ready this week so that it's less likely that I fall behind. We'll see how that goes. Day one is written and ready to go--so that's something at least. And OC-tober sounds SO cool. I'm excited to see what you end up doing with that. I'm sure that will be a lot of fun too!

#comet comments #comet's anons #owlish

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ursbearhug · 2 years

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🌷💞✨ answer with 3 random facts about yourself, then send this to 10 other people 🌷💞✨

Hi, hello and thank you!

I used to be a giant weeb in my teens, but more so for the vibes (or whatever) than actually liking anime or mango (given that I've watched 7 or 8 titles, maybe). I attended a lot of weeb conventions (12 of them or so) and my first at the ripe old age of 10 I believe. And I even moderated a panel once, with my friend! It was about Elsword in the golden days! Said panel was attended by one jealous incel out of spite; because I dated the girl he wanted to. We both left his stinky-ass guild the following week. He was basic af and I cannot imagine any other way of having sex with him than with something in his mouth and a bag on his head. It's not even about being ugly. It's about being ugly on the inside. He was also homophobic so he was thrice as ugly if you ask me. Now I'm ace and gay and my ex-girlfriend is engaged to a trans guy - suck it bitch. Anyway, yeah. I still have the entrance thing-y with "Dr Aki" as a nickname. I had PhD at the ripe old age of 10. What were you doing with your life?

So I talk a lot about learning English out of spite so maybe now I'll like… Bring the context to this; So in my 1st year of middle school, my English teacher told me I'm not gonna achieve anything in this field because I'm dyslexic and I don't pronounce shit correctly. So I took it upon myself to spit on her face and I started teaching myself by myself; I was reading dictionaries (still do, as a matter of fact, that's a hobby of mine; and according to my favourite greek professor - hers too), watching dozen people speaking English on ytube (usually tried to pick folks of different ethnicities because it's so damn enticing and mesmerising; listening to how different groups speak the same language differently) and so on and so forth. From that year onward, I was finishing every year with the highest possible grade (here, marks go from 1 to 6. With 1 being the lowest, and 6 being the highest - and requiring knowledge beyond the given curriculum) and 3 years later I went to represent my piece of shit worthy high school on English Olympics. It's like a string of tests for nerds. I didn't get really far, to be fair my life was a literal fucking mess at the time, but I got to the 2nd stage (out of 3) and got my ass handed to me by *one* exercise. I can do a lot of shit, but you take letters out of words for me and I'm donezo. I'm pulling the white flag, throwing the towel, tapping out. I can't. So yeah, I'm a machine powered up by spite!

I was a very creative kid in the age bracket of 7 to 14. I was doing pottery classes, drawing classes, I was going to secret club meetings to write stuff. To this day I'm really missing the spark that lived in that little ol' body of mine. Not to be masturbating to my own work but I really loved the style I had back then. My narrative might have sucked from an academic perspective but it was so damn entertaining to read! I made a lot of snarky or interesting commentary in the way I wrote stuff. Some of it is really cringeworthy to read right now; given that my humour has changed a lot, but it just goes to show that kids can be really, really creative. I also had so much time on my hands, because bitch - I was manufacturing love stories like some of the biggest monopolies in this world. Friends to enemies to lovers, friends to lovers, frenemies to frelovers, retellings, original concepts, concepts 'that I thought were original but then I started classical studies', concepts that borderline on copyright theft - you fucking name it. And you know what? Not a single dick in sight. That's right, I was a pure bean even then… I wasn't 2 years later but that's beside the point.

I hope that suffice? Thank you for the ask once again! ^^

#ask

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chuluoyi · 9 months

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Chu!! Noo it's fine I enjoy talking to youuuu

HAHHA well what can I say? I just love Lukey! Aww hope you'll get a good break soon! When are you taking your 1 week off?

FR Unholy blood is unbeatable 💪🏻💪🏻

OMG SAME but for me it's either I end up liking the guy or hating him... Like for Gojo and Callisto I was like "Omg they're so hot but why are they so full of themselves?!" at first. Then after some time I ended up liking them HAHA- And omg ikr his hair >>>>> It's the side-swept hair that adds on to his looks. AHAAH LIKE Vinter is actually nice and all but he has so little screen time!

Thanks Chu!! Hehe I love beaches! And I have this childish obsession with picking seashells oops- Aww... You don't have to know how to swim to enjoy the beach tho! I don't like beaches cause I want to get tanned or play beach volleyball, it's more of the scenery that draws me in! Plus the sea creatures!

YEAH the leaks broke me... 2 Panels but I miss him sm now...

Yepp! But I'm unsure if I chose the right path... Like my interests are more arty like I love reading, writing, drawing, music, etc. But I chose a business course hahaha. There's no turning back for me too.... LOL A WALKING STICK 😭😭 AHAHH your teacher tho! My secondary school made it mandatory to have skirts at knee-level too... But I didn't change my skirt for the 4 years I was in school so as I grew taller over the years my skirt just naturally went above my knees... My teacher did scold me for that tho, I just didn't care...

FR like bros why don't you guys try putting on makeup bruh. Like y'all judge us girls as if you guys are hot asf... If you guys WERE that hot I wouldn't even complain about you talking shit about us girls... But you aren't so f off.

RIGHT My mum and I couldn't stop laughing omg It's easily one of the best comedy K-drama I've watched! Yeah omg "See you in my 19th life" Webtoon was great but after ep 1 of the drama I stopped cause it was honestly disappointing... "Good day to be a dog" is good tho! Not Shin Hyesun but this and "See you in my 19th life" are by the same webtoon artist!

Oh damn Gojo figurines never fail to impress... Did you see the new one with the skeletons and all? It's the one where he's been sealed and the skeletons just all around him. He's super hot there like I almost wanted to start being a Gojo simp...

I somehow want to go back to school... I've been swamped with housework and miscellaneous stuff that I'm so close to losing my mind... Thinking about New year's makes me want to pull my hair out... And Chinese New year is in Feb too... I'm so doomed for the next few months...

30 isn't that bad! Hahaha I feel you mate... I flunked my end semester test and it pulled my A all the way to C+ AHAHAH my GPA really suffered from that... Eh that 'interesting' doesn't sound too convincing 🥲🥲 How did you survive that class omg Chu ...

Hmmm that makes sense! I'll keep your words in mind. 😭😭It's always the luck.... Our gacha luck sucks too... I think we should avoid taking risks yeah?

HAAHAHAH I just enjoy solving the qns! I prefer math to the rest of the weird stuff I used to take... I had English, Chinese, elementary math, Additional math, Chem, Bio, History, Social studies, Accounting, Literature. It's real disgusting I tell you. Algebra really made my life slightly better in Secondary school... Omg 😭Fr Bio is really not easy I don't get how people get A+ in that like your memory must be crazy good. SO TRUE Chem is complicated at times but if you compare that to bio... sigh...

YAAA Omg I have a soft spot for sea animals (Not snails and worms tho) Especially baby ones like ahhhh they're so cute 😭😭

Nahh it's not my room walls I'm painting... It's my whole living room... Like 4 walls.... I didn't want to do it but my mum forced me to soooo I didn't really have a choice hahah!

Also Merry Christmas!!! I know I'm slightly late but 😭😭 Hope you had a good rest!

-🪩

discoo anoon!!🫶🏻 finally i can sit in front of my laptop!!🥹

i'm taking my break in mid january!! i just have to bc if not then i'll surely go mad with how little i'm taking my leave🤧 like i still have so many leave balance too! lately i've been thinking "why am i so tired"😵‍💫 and when i look at the whopping number of my leave balance, i realize "this is why i'm so miserable i barely take any leave!"🤡

HAHAHAHA same same i didn't use to love gojo the way i do now if you can believe it. but he's so charismatic in the way he presents himself that's why... and HAIR it's so true the hair makes the looks, especially for men🤭

omg me tooo!!! i love finding seashells too! but i hate the way the sand would submerge my feet🤧 it's stupid but i'm afraid of a crab or something will bite my feet off ugh and yeah, so true the scenery is one of the points that make us want to go to the beach too!!

ah... i don't mean to presume but i once felt like that too. i chose engineering as my major, and yet i'm neither that good or bad at it, and neither do i like it (i hate it occasionally)😔 my interests are more in reading and writing too! and obviously i can't go back to restart my major bc my mom would hang me🤧 i once had 0 thoughts as to where and how i should get a job, and yet now i found the best job there is for me, unexpectedly, that's (thank god) not related to engineering at all! i don't think it's easy at first, we'll get lost and even doubt ourselves often, but i believe that by doing the best at what you do, we'll find a way somehow, and it's always the unexpected that's the best <3 <- this is my words of encouragement!! i don't mean to preach or anything bc when i was in that position, i wished someone would say those exact words to me :')

BUT FR I FELT LIKE A WALKING SUSHI ROLL😭😭 thank the gods the teacher don't realize it. but omg that's nice that you're tall! :') i'm short so yeah, i'm still a walking sushi roll

HAHAHAHAHAAH i wish i could say all of that to their faces! i did say some of it to them though, about "you don't get to say that when you're that lousy yourself"🙃 but yeah, in the end, to each their own. it's irritating but we have to protect our peace first🤧

my mom loves her too!🥹 ahahahha oh really?! i put off watching a good day to be a dog bc i heard the ratings aren't that good... maybe i'll watch it then! now i'm watching gyeongseong creature! it's a good watch, kinda like sweet home, a bit dark and sinister but it's park seojoon!👀 and his dramas never fail ehehehe do you watch it too??

I SAW THAT FIGURINE omg that can be preordered now but will be released in 2025? i was like whaaat that long? but yeah, i want to be the skeletons—

OMG SOOO TRUE🤧 new years and our traditions :') now my mom is fussing over stocking food and getting new sheets and tomorrow i'm accompanying her to... stock up more food. and so true about the chinese new year! ahahahha i celebrate it too and it's a bit of a hassle esp with the family questions, but don't worry! we just have to keep our eyes on the prize... the 红包 :3 more pocket money!!😈

i know the feeling! like one mistake and the A... dissolved🤧 it's so disheartening. how did i pass?😦 by sending my prayers and confessing my sins daily basically🤧😵‍💫

yes yes!!

omg you're so smart for that!! and i do agree those are weird stuff HAHAHA literature got me like questioning my phrasing sometimes i was like 🤯 am i dumb bc i’m lazy or am i lazy bc i’m dumb— okay nevermind🫢

SNAILS AND WORMS😭 yes baby seals are like aaaaaa so precious🥲🫶🏻

AHAHAHHA it must have been a good exercise though!!🥹

and ofc merry christmas too disco anon!!🫶🏻✨ and happy holidays too!! wishing you only the best for the upcoming year also! pls keep healthy and don’t forget to take breaks and drink water🫶🏻✨

#—chu’s mailbox 📬#💌: 🪩

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kai-the-person · 5 years

Text

Cast out/back home au

So first off hi, guess this is my first fanfic? So, uh there aren't any real ships cause I suck at writing romantic ships.

So!

The 'ships' will be QPR (queer platonic relationships) between Virgil and Thomas, and parental Remus and Deceit with Virgil . Maybe background romantic remceit?

This will also be kind of a timeline starting with just after AA part 2 from Virgil's perspective mostly.

---

I didn't know how to feel. They came after me. They all told me how important I was! I was needed, they cared! I was so, so giddy. And then Patton came and gave me that card. I was fam-ILY. Roman even was nice. Thomas called me, me, a good guy.

I hugged the card against my chest. Before carefully setting it in a drawer, next to the stuffed snake Dee gave me and the small drawing Remus gave me.

~~~

Before "Can Lying be good?"

~~~

"Honey, you understand that lying is bad, right?" Patton said, staring at me.

"I agree, lying is treating people as a means to your end rather then living people. Objectively, most of the time, lying is bad." Logan added, not looking up from his book.

"I- what are you saying?" Panic started bubbling in my stomach.

"Well, I'm just saying that maybe Deceit isn't the best person for you." Patton said.

"B-but I like deceit." I whispered, voice quivering.

"Oh kiddo." Morality said, shaking his head in disappointment. Behind me I could hear Roman muttering, when did he get here?

~~~

After "Can Lying be good?"

~~~

"Virgil."

"Deceit." I forced out, trying my hardest not to cry.

"What was that about? Your usually on my side, two sides of the same coin, remember?" He sounded- sad, so sad.

"P-"

"What did I do storm cloud? " Dee whispered.

"P-please, just leave." I wish he didn't listen.

~~~

"It will be fine J. D. lightful! We'll be fine." Roman said.

"But what if-"

"Oh my God, just shut up." Roman snapped. I froze looking to Patton, then Logan.

"I believe you are being, what you would say, extra. Please just stop being paranoid."

"I think emotions are running a little high," I felt hope spike, was he helping me? "Virgil, please go to your room. Your not needed in this discussion."

I sunk down before they could see me cry.

~~~

DWIT

~~~

Remus was the best, well, ever since he toned down his creative dumps after sending me into a panic. I found him pretty funny and it was fun to talk about conspiracies with him. Though Roman hated when I mentioned Remus, a couple times I though he was actually going to hit me. So when Thomas started getting those... Unsettling thoughts, I knew who it was.

And when he met with me after the video, I just wanted to hug him. But, what would Roman think?

"I thought you weren't uncomfortable around me anymore? I thought, we were friends?" Remus said. As much as Roman tried to deny it, they had a lot in common. Like the self esteem issues.

"We are!" I finally snapped.

"Why have you been treating us like this Virgil? You're our child, storm cloud."

"I-"

"What the hell are you doing here Remus?" Remus eyes darkened something akin to realization entered his eyes.

~~~

Today was one of the bad days, I was sitting on the couch nursing a hot chocolate while watching Thomas. He was driving down the freeway. Logan was sitting next to the control panel, reading a book.

"What if a car slams into him?" I mutter, not able to keep silent any longer.

" That's absurd." Logan said absentmindedly.

"But what if-"

"Virgil, enough."

"But-" The sound of a book slamming echos and I jump. Tears pricking my eyes.

"Virgil stop this incessant 'what ifs.' You are very annoying right now. Just go in your room sense you can't contribute anything useful right now." This is the fourth time Logan's yelled at me this week. I sunk down tears falling from my eyes.

I didn't even notice the two figure in my room as my breathing sped up and my chest tightened.

"Oh shit"

"Oh butts."

_-_-_-_

So, uh, did I do a good? If this is any good please let me know, and if you want to be tagged let me know.

This au was created by @sanders-sides-uncorrect-quotes

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@iwantafroyo

#unsympathetic patton #unsympathetic logan #unsympathetic roman #sympathetic villains #sympathetic virgil #sympathetic deceit #sympathetic remus #virgil angst #virgil ts angst #angst #smol cinnamon roll #abuse #abuse tw #emotional abuse #mental abuse #manipulation #crying virgil #cast out au

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diaryofsecrecy · 3 years

Text

It has been the most exhausting year of my entire life and I will be surprised if I ever top it...

Brent was having a hard time adjusting to the altitude when we 1st came out here, (July 8th 2020) But as time went on he got better as expected. Then suddenly he got worse and worse, Eventually he lost the job that he got because he was calling out so often throwing up and experiencing extreme nausea. Because of covid, the doctors were booked for weeks (new patient) so it was just kind of a waiting game until we finally decided to just go to the ER. They did a full blood panel and decided that he needs to see a GI doctor because everything else is normal. So, That was booked 2 weeks out and he was sent home with nausea medication for one week...

Of course we were going to try to buy or rent so I was freaking out about money and working as much as I possibly could... But then I too had to go to the emergency Room because I had extreme abdominal pain resulting in an emergency appendectomy😖

The day after my surgery, I am home, when my dad comes in with my older sister.

To my knowledge, my older sister was diagnosed paranoid schizofrantic. She has been Homeless for the last 11 years, And on drugs. She recently was beaten so badly that she was left with several brain injuries on top of it all, And while she was healing at the hospital somehow they didn't notice her walk out. We were just about to get her placed somewhere safe...And they lost her.

Anyhow dad walks in with my sister who I guess called him from a coffee shop when they told her that she couldn't sleep there anymore (after a month of being missing again) Dad had to go back to work so then it was me & her for the next 2 days, As you can imagine, not the rest I needed post surgery... then, I had to go back into the hospital because something wasn't right. I was there for 3 more days, 2 days alone because ben was so sick that it was worse with him being there than me sitting by myself in pain and nausea of my own.

Fast forward a few more months, tragic accidents led to 2 separate deaths of my parents dogs. Both events I happen to be present, so get blamed & am no longer welcome at mom & dads.

(Still healing from sugury, brent still very sick)

We get an apartment, and I start working as a nanny for my aunt twice a week while working at Massage Envy the other 5 days.

At this point, I am tired. I am horney, and lonely, and Absolutely. Fucking. Miserable.

I am begging ben to keep up with drs. but he has lost hope of getting better, and I have no way of helping him when I am already worn too thin.

After 9, Long, long months, he eventually, with my consistent pushing, nagging, most likely not always kind remarks, he finds out his hormones are completely off, which I knew would be the case, his dick hadnt worked for the last 3 years properly..

Anyway. He blames his addiction medication rather than continuing dr. Appointments... he gets on testosterone with an outside company(pay out of pocket kind of subscription company...rather than checking insurance, or figuring out what causes low testosterone and fixing that first). I was working and had no influence in any of those choices that effect us both as they have for at least 2 years. He hasnt touched me for so, so, long.

Month 3 of his medication that seems to be working (only reason I know is there was a ton of porn in my google history, he had declined all advances, except the rare, 3 times he allowed a blowjob then left immediately after for the gym or literally anything else rather than make it romantic at all.)

Month 4, he forgets to make a payment at all, so now we owe $250 rather than the normal $100. His meds get sent, then FedEx loses the package all together so, he is sick and I am house sitting in a dream home, alone for 2 weeks straight that originally was going to be our getaway to focus on Us.

At this point, brent and I havnt slept in the same bed for 2 months. At first cause he says I'm mean and he wants to not be near me, but now its cause hes "more comfortable out in the living room..."

A month ago when we last had a conversation about our relationship he said he wants space and a break from me all together. I'm too much.

I am the problem..?

When trying to understand what he means, he shuts down the connvo, saying he cant talk about it anymore. It's been 30 days since we have made any verbal progress. Our fighting has stopped though, and I'll tell you why...

Rewind 1 week before house sitting;

1 week after brent and I had an awful fight where he told me we should take a break, I stay at my parents & My mom offers for me to join them at a graduation party of a kid I used to babysit.

We were sitting in the back of the dining room, out of the way, when I saw someone i slightly recognized in the hallway. Not sure from where, but he was the kind of guy that you couldnt stop looking at. He was clearly into fitness, his shirt couldnt hide the muscular features he had been perfecting either, despite him dressing nothing out of the ordinary. He had beautiful ink crawling up his leg, an artform that would only mean something to someone who is more spiritually awake. But more noticable about anything was that smile.

God that smile. His face was scruffy, as if he had been away, but regardless, the smile he had influenced his entire ora. His eyes smiled, his walk... smiled. He had some kind of thing about him that was a physical draw I had never known for myself before. Dont get me wrong, i have been woo'd by many men so far in my life, from all stages in life, but This one was just, different. He was making his way around the room, & I could hear his voice over my mom who's talking beside me. I had literally been blocked out by my ever wondering thoughts of this random stranger whom felt familiar.

Then, he was there, at our table?

He was so easy to talk to, not even sure how we started now, but all I know is I was not nervous despite my very physical attraction to him.

He spoke of traveling, and adventures hes been on. This guy had a whole other life in the military at one point and now was traveling, working for a company that sends him around the US.

This guy had Hope's and dreams and somehow we got to talking about that kind of thing at a graduation party?

When I left that day, I thought about him. Not just him specifically, but men like him. Had I chosen Brent wrongfully? Does brent even like who I am anymore, what does he want going forward in his own life? How do I even fit into that? He understands my need for adventure but his actions say that he doesnt want to come along. My mind was loopy after that because for the first real time I questioned, what if there was someone who wanted to see the world, Who liked my sad music, and my emotions being in everything I do? What if there was a women more interested in the simple home life, having a couple dogs and living a small, comfortable life? Are we doing one another a disservice by occupying oneanother's lives? How could I ever bring that up with Brent at all without making him feel so inadiquite after a year of terrible sickness and defeat?

Well, when I went to that big, gorgeous dream home the following week to house sit for 2 weeks... begging him to come see me, I grew weak from overthinking. I cried, I cried so much the first 3 days.

I cried from a place of such sadness, anger, bitterness, defeat, they were so strong. My mind was cloudy, drunk, stoned, tired.... I found myself writing a suicide letter.

My plan was to disappear, I knew I'd find a firearm in the home & allow someone to find my remains eventually in the hills where I'd walk far enough.

I prepared by cleaning the litterbox, laying out several bowls of water for the dog and cat, and watered all the plants heavily. I transfered brent all the money in my bank accounts, and as I waited for the sheets to come out of the dryer I balled my eyes out, reading the last conversations I had had with my family members. I thought to myself how the kids would take it, what different life choices they would make having been close with someone before their passing. At this point, I needed something, but I needed it from someone who doesnt know me in my life right now, but the me that was worth saving. The me I still recognized.

I called an old friend from 2nd grade. Hadnt talked to her in years and years, didnt known her life, her schedual, her name(which had been changed). But she talked me down. She saved my fucking life. It took a person who knew my soul years ago, to remind me I am not alone.

I dont blame my parents, or who I thought would be my future husband. I had talked with my aunt earlier that day and she couldnt see it either. I had become this fake shell of a person and it took considering an actual murder of myself to make me see that if I continued this path, I would die eventually and nobody in my life would ever see me preparing for it.

That night, I invited a complete stranger over and we fucked like rabbits. 4 times. He got to do things he'd never done before, and I begged him to. Sounds cold, sounds unapologetically disgusting that I'd do something like that, but quite frankly, I FUCKING needed it. I needed someone to see me, even if he didnt see my current life nor care about me as a person... he saw, touched, kissed, sucked and ate me up. For the first time in at least 2 years, i felt satisfaction when I walked him to the door and watched his car drive away.

It was like a sigh of relief, an inch I could not reach for the longest time, gone. Finally.

The following days, brent began putting in more effort. It has been 3 weeks and I'd say he has been kinder to me than he had in a while (probably the lack of testosterone) but also, I havnt seen much of him in general. From his point of view, it is all fine. Hes getting the space he needed, I'm being nicer since I quit massage Envy, and things are looking up....

But that is because he doesnt See Me.

My suisidal thoughts subsided after my long conversation with Scout. & that night I called my cousin as well, and learned he too had been in my shoes before. He said something that stuck with me.

If everyone has an expiration date on their life already, and we don't know when it is, you're to the point that you're life is so invaluable that youd kill yourself than flee your life and make one you want. Dont care about the people youd hurt, because suicide is just as careless as abandoning them all indefinitely.

He was so right, it put things into perspective, gave me a freedom I felt I was waiting to gain permission for.

Five days later, I noticed He had written me 5 before, on the day I had truly planned to end my current life..

He had written me at 12am, what would someone like him, a gorgeous, beefed out, big thinker, high energy, go getter be doing messaging me, a tired women who was 300lbs a year ago, (still working on getting to a normal size) and completely at a crossroads with existance.

I entertained the connvo a tad, and honestly forgot about it for a few days as I figured no way he could be serious.

He triple messaged me, and asked for my personal contact info to have real conversation?

Hesitantly, and wildly excited to even just flirt for a moment with someone who is literally everything I fantasize when I'm alone everynight....

Our conversation immediately took off. In directions I hadnt expected at all what so ever. He told me he had to admit he felt drawn to me, like he had known me in another life. That he doesnt expect me to get it, but I did. We talked about things that only my sister and I can relate to on a spirituality standard and it changed me in that instant. Suddenly i realize, I wasn't broken, I was just misunderstood. & that there are people in this world that See Me even when I am not trying. Not many, and it takes a specific Kind of person, but they do exist and when you meet them, you cant ignore it. It is as if they stain you with remembrance.

As the sexually hungry humans we are, not only did we find that morality, values, future goals coexist, but also our importance of intimacy. Not just lust and sex, well, yes that too, uff did those conversations get so, fucking, hot, but the interactions of intimacy and how they make a person whole.

I opened up to him about Brent, and where I am at in life, asking he please oversee my unfaithfulness, but that I am loyal at heart. He says with such pain in his voice how he too in a parallel position simultaneously, however, he married her 7 years ago.

Ugh.

So now I get to choose. Do I chose mortality, say no, brent and the other women deserve to understand the severity of sex, love and passion, and if they chose not to then we will leave before we act on our mutual attraction....? Or, do we say hell with it and give in to serendipity moments that our hearts crave so badly, take on the consequences and move forward. Sigh. If only there was a guideline for complicated.

Last night, as the 5 nights before, we talked for hours on the phone. His voice makes me smile every, damn, time. Perhaps because it's new and exciting, or maybe I just love to hear him go on his tangents of loving yourself despite the bad in life. I Want him. I want him when I wake, &when I go to sleep. I do not want a life without him& it saddens me to know our timing is incorrect. He asked her for a divorce a year ago, but has sat comfortably as I have despite the horror because weve both been too busy, too tired, too... afraid that life will always be lonely. Last night, he said to me, Elise, I love you. I avoided it several times but when he said it two more times, I couldnt keep it any longer to myself, Jackson, I really do Love you as well. It's scary, and faster than I'd ever say it to anyone. But I know it to be true because I Feel it. I want his love so badly. I want him to live life along side of me because with a person like him, I'd be a better me.

I am absolutely terrified. My life, my home, my family, dogs, my 5 year relationship, the unborn children brent and I have named, and the houses we'd have... all gone?

Running away with a man who says hes going to leave his wife is absolutely stupid. I'd be an idiot to think I am enough to get him through that fear of change, yet he gives me strength to want to try, so maybe I do, Him?

Ugh my brain being pulled in many ways. My heart having been in pieces so many times now doesnt know who to go to or why. I know for certain I love Brent, is this a self gratifying moment To push me back to him? Is this the devil bringing two lost people together to ruin four people at once?or is this Fate. Fate that has seen both of us individually loosing ourselves in a life we didnt want and has brought us together to lean on one another, temporarily not?

Suppose time will tell.

Last two days he has been working a ton, and told me that tomorrow he has something he needs to talk to me about.

I assume it isnt good. I assume it is the first put off of many, because, I know I want to do the same. Part of me says I should block him right now, because lust, and attraction, both mentally and physically like that couldnt make a women addicted and that's a no good addiction when he has a women in his house with his last name. 😔

#latenite #life #struggle #deep thinking #bad choices #misunderstood #deardiary #confessions

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