#I'm not like them i just want to see them being a normal gay couple that really loves each other

[karineverse]

[itsgwencayyye]

Been thinking a lot about the queer rep of the qsmp and like how much i appreciate characters saying full stuff about being only into women, or liking men, or being gay in general. Like I remember distinctly during the first movie night is when it first hit me. The milk carton animatic was playing and it ends with qcellbit and qroier kissing at the wedding. And like i remember physically looking away and preparing to see one or both of them be really uncomfortable or joke about it. But they were really happy about it instead and I felt like just weird relief from it. Cause like yeah mc smp's tend to be very homoromantic, but everyones tends to be very almost prudish about wanting those relationships to be shown or go anywhere or be drawn kissing and stuff like that( At least in previous smp fandoms I've been in). Then, although it was before that moment, cellbit saying "I want to be gay and happy" although funny, it's just so nice to hear the word and have it not be a joke or not danced around cause someone's uncomfortable with it. Like the character likes men and wants to be gay and happy, simple as that. Then you have q!bagi saying that she's only interested in women, and liking melissa, but not roier, even though they're the same person. Then there's q!fit who told Ramon "I'd prefer another dad for you" and just how much knowing his backstory that being canonically a gay man adds to his characterization(i could write like a 5 page paper on that alone). And on top of it all it's the language and seriousness of all the relationships as well. Foolish and Vegetta were calling each other boyfriends, and 'my love', people go on dates and talk about what they want out of their relationship and how they're feeling about it, and like it's even normal for a lot of the couples to normalize implying or just having straight up sex (thanks for the trauma slimeriana and maxpierre/lh). Like I know I'm rambling, but, it genuinely means so much to like have the queer romance be explicitly queer and also more than just a joke. Like in ways I didn't realize at first, but it's kinda fucking awesome.

[ashyllum]

Bi/gay coded | Gender neutral reader | Poly | Threesome | ABO

Personally I'm not much of a shipper, but getting coaxed into polygamy, with Aventurine & Dr Ratio?

Let's make it ABO! Established couple with Veritas, the alpha, and Aventurine the omega, perfect! right!

No!

They are both tops...

Their first time was awkward to say the least, both having to compromise for their pursuit of bodily pleasure, but it was fine, their love for each other was enough and greater than feeble cravings like lust.

Or so they thought, as they both shamelessly eyed you up, a sweet little beta, their supposed tour guide, for a vacation, that was supposed to be their bonding time.

A preety little thing, with a million dollar smile, and practically scraps as clothes, you looked presentable, but for the two men living a life of luxury, your conditions were pretty obvious.

The two men, didn't need to talk about it, well knowing how sexually frustrated they both have been. It was maddening, the way you walked so gracefully, talked so gently, but at the same time laughed at all Aventurine's crude jokes, even egging him on in his shenanigans.

You fit so perfectly in between them both, fulfilling all the the tiny holes the other couldn't, rather it be genuine interest in Ratio's research despite not understanding much, to being a fun and carefree companion for Aventurine's night out.

So on their finally on their last day, they had to test out, will you fill their last need, that primal urge that's been eating them alive too.

And, you were suprisingly accommodating too, when they made a move on you, despite the little blush and tiny questions of 'if it was fine, since they were a couple.'

An adorable little beta getting coaxed and coddled, into getting tag teamed with Ratio making you choke on his dick, while Aventurine desperately and pathetically humped in your holes.

All those gropes and pulls, along with their animalistic stamina, making you see the stars, as the two men made out.

It wasn't aesthetic or clean, it was pure unadulterated lust and need, they took out on your beta body, a need of an omega and wrath of an alpha, their pure love and lust for each other.

And now you.

After the whole situation, you were already passed out with exhaustion, and the two were too tired to do anything about it, as they snuggled in, your naked body stuck in between.

The next morning, was quite a predicament, as you woke up with both of their arm around you (Aventurine's leg too), trying to get out, too embarrassed by the fact you woke up in the bed of a couple, you slept with last night, the couple you were crushing on your whole time together, cursing every single Aeon out, because why a couple!? Why can't it be someone attainable your heart fall for?

So when, they hesitate to let you go, wanting to spend more time with you then go back to their normal, and even offering taking you back with them, you were astonished.

A poor beta, barely making through every month, living paycheck to paycheck, now getting offered to be a house partner, for not just an omega but an alpha too together!?

God forbid you, refused, you wanted that security, and most importantly, those dicks inside you again asap.

(Wrote this immediately before sleeping, will revise when i wake up!)

[billthedrake]

WINGMAN

I generally had a clean lifestyle, at least lately, but it was Mike Gelson's bachelor party, and we five dudes were partying it up in Nashville. I may have been doing my goody two-shoes Brendan Peters thing and getting club soda every few rounds, but my tolerance was down and I was getting good and truly wasted.

My best buddy James Carducci noticed, too. Like me, he was a big guy, a former tight end who carried a lot of muscle on his 6'5" frame, but unlike me he could hold his liquor.

"You gonna get laid tonight, Peters?" he growled in my ear as we entered the room we were sharing. "It's fun to see you let your hair down."

I gave him a scowl but knew he was just ribbing me. It's what buddies did. "Why can't we have the bachelor party in New York or something?"

Carducci knew what I meant. He plopped on one of the beds, his big frame taking up most of the double bed mattress. "Bro, you could have all the gay dudes around you and you'd still be too fuckin' picky."

I lay down on the other bed, looking over at my best friend. We'd both moved to the same city after graduation. Coming out had been a big messy process for me, and James had been the most supportive of my college friends. He was enthusiastically bisexual - not advertising it or anything, but we quickly realized we could switch from teammate-buddies to guy talk and back.

Still, we were opposites in a lot of ways. "Dude... it's easy for you. You just want to get your dick wet."

We'd had versions of this conversation before. He grinned. "Bro, maybe you should get your dick wet for a change. It'd keep you from being a cranky bitch." Yeah, Carducci could get away saying stuff to me no one else could. Then turning his meaty body on his side, he looked right at me. "I get it, Peters. But maybe while you wait for Mr. Right, you can have some fun. I mean, Kevin Murphy's not gonna suck your cock."

"What the fuck?!" I played dumb. Kevin had been the kicker on our D1 team and was Mike Gelson's best man. He was my type to a T... shorter than me and leaner, boy-next-door cute, tight body and a bubble ass.

James lay back again and put his arms around his back, arms knotted and pumped. If I was into big dudes like myself, there might be sexual tension between us. "Bro, it's all over your face. Remember, I know your fuckin' type."

"C'mon, JC," I pleaded, using my nickname for him.

He grinned. "Don't worry, Peters, I'm not gonna say anything to anyone. You know that. Crush out on Murphy all you want. You're just barking up the wrong tree."

"Yeah," I sighed. "It's majorly against the bro code." I was starting to get resentful of how being a horny gay dude and an ex-jock living by the bro code were not exactly compatible.

That got a deep laugh from JC. "So's fucking your buddy's dad."

I sat up, the alcohol and quick movement making my head dizzy. "What?!?!" Normally I'd write off the comment as Carducci being a jokester but the way his words came out made them seem real.

He now sat up and reached down to paw at his crotch to rearrange his junk. "This stays between us," he warned.

"Scouts honor, man," I replied.

My friend got a wild look on his face and a leer as he said, "I banged Gelson's dad."

"Mike Gelson," I clarified. "The fucking groom."

He seemed annoyed. "What other Gelsons do you know, dumbass? Yeah, Mike Gelson's father. It was a couple of years ago, when Mike invited a couple of us to his family's lake house." James was closer to Gelson than I was, which only made what he was describing seme more transgressive.

"Dude, isn't Mr. Gelson like 45?" I'd briefly met the man once but he didn't make too much an impression on me, I guess.

Carducci leered. "He was 50 then, and it was fucking glorious. A whole week, both of us enjoying sneaking around." I knew JC had a bit of a kink for married men. We didn't overshare, but I'd very occasionally hear about a hookup or, more often, I'd unload about a date that didn't go like I wanted.

I had to rib him now. "What, you going for the daddies now, JC?"

Without missing a beat, he looked at me with his brown eyes. "Abso-fucking-lutely, Peters. Exclusively even. You should try an older dude for a change."

I didn't think I was easily shocked but the turn of the conversation had indeed rattled me. I went silent before I said quietly, "Man, I couldn't date a guy my dad's age. What the fuck?"

He laughed. "Dude, who's talking about dating? You're a hot fucking dude, you should be having sex nonstop... " He paused. "Can I be honest, bro?"

I nodded, bracing myself for the barrage of criticism. But this was Carducci, I knew he was looking after me.

"Well," James started. "You always go for the unavailable ones like Murphy, or for the stuck up ones who think they're the shit for having an Insta following." For all of our odd-couple conversations, Carducci had never spelled it out for me quite like this. But he was totally right. "I dunno, maybe you should go outside your type just to see. There are so many daddies out there who'd be so fucking appreciative to make it with a guy like you.... You could use the ego boost, bro."

I thought it over. "Is that what older guys are to you?" I asked. "An ego boost?"

He shook his head. "Nah. I have a pretty massive ego already, bro, I don't need help with that. I just love sex with an older guy." I watched as he pulled a spare pillow down to cover his crotch. I knew why: Carducci was boning up talking about sex, and while we shared a lot there still was the bro code between us. "Some of em have a wild side, like a drunk sorority chick."

I shook my head. "Jesus, JC."

I knew the alcohol was getting us both to open up to this conversation. "It's not like that, Peters. I mean, you know you're with a dude, a real masculine dude at that. But there's that wild, naughty streak beneath the surface. I fucking love it."

He reached over and picked up his phone.

"What? Are you gonna show me a picture of one of your conquests?" I asked.

He looked up and winked. "Perv. No, bro, I'm lining up a blowjob. There's gotta be a horny daddy staying in this hotel."

I blushed. "You serious?"

"Sure, I'm serious," he said, now not taking his eyes off the app as he scrolled through. "Jesus you can be such a fucking prude."

I lay back, feeling insulted but mostly angry that he was right. I'd set up a Grindr profile and used it some but then swore it off over the last year. "Well, you're not bringing him back here," I said.

JC now looked up. "Like I said. Cranky bitch." There was teasing sure, but I think I'd actually pissed off my buddy. I almost apologized but I was stubborn.

Anyway, he was now getting off the bed and putting his shoes back on.

"Already?" I asked with astonishment. JC hadn't been on that app much longer than five minutes.

He laughed. "What can I say, bro?" He smiled. "Daddy wants this..." he used his hand to gesture to his tall muscular body. "I'm in Nashville, I'm gonna have a little fucking fun." He had his phone and key card and seemed good to go. "You should too, Peters. For real."

I didn't say anything but I gave a look that was my attempt at an "I'll think about it."

And like that, I watched my best friend leave our room.

***

The lamplight was still on when I woke up. I'd conked out in my drunkenness. I was massively hungover but I always wake up pretty quickly. Light was coming in and the clock said a little after 8.

Carducci's bed was still made and still empty. The fucker.

I got up and pissed and popped a couple of aspirin, hoping they'd help. My head pounded. And we still had another night of this fucking bachelor party weekend. I wondered if these dudes would want to come to mine when the time came. Hell, I wondered if I'd have one.

I brushed my teeth to get the stale beer taste out of my mouth. My hair was mussed up and I did my best to comb it down.

Fifteen minutes later, after a trip to the lobby to get some coffee, I was feeling more alive. Hungover still, but better. I didn't feel like eating anything, but the aspirin was helping.

I picked up my phone. I'd uninstalled Grindr but it was easy enough to re-install it. It took me a second to remember my login, but I used one of my common passwords. One of these days, I'd need to choose something more secure for my shit.

There were some hot guys in Nashville, but I'd gotten spoiled by the city I lived in now. There was a certain type I was seeing here - either bigger, beefier guys, or else younger thinner twinks. My type was always in between that. I wanted more Dierks Bentley and was seeing a lot more Garth Brooks types, even among the 20-somethings.

I'd been replaying my conversation with JC in my head. He could bust my balls, and maybe in a way I didn't like. But I told myself, I'd give this a try. I changed my profile language to make it less picky and judgmental and adjusted my looking-for age range.

It was early and I didn't see any hits in this hotel, but there was a good looking older guy in the hotel on the next block. Kind of average looking, balding hair, 49yo, but his pics showed off a very fit body, lightly hairy, probably trimmed. Looking for now. If I had to make it with an older dude, this was probably as good a match as any. I'd focus on his body if need be.

"Hey," I typed in a chat. "You're up early."

"Hi man." Then. "This is early?"

"In Nashville it is," I replied back.

"True, ha."

I was never great with the quick hookup thing, but one thing I'd mastered was the art of messaging. Some guys were too direct, not flirty enough, but some guys were too passive and conversational. My style didn't work with everyone, but it was working now, I knew.

"What brings you here?" I asked.

"Business. I thought I'd tack on an extra day for fun. And you?"

"Bachelor party."

"Of course, ha." Then, he added. "You're quite the hunk."

"Thanks man," I typed. "You're hot, too." I wasn't sure how much I thought that. It's not that he wasn't hot, because he was in a way. But in my fucked up way, I knew he wasn't Brendan Peters-worthy hot. Not in my league. But I tried to embrace the Carducci way. "You say you bottom, right?" His profile had read vers-bottom.

"Yep. You wanting to fuck?"

After my conversation with JC, I'd initially been thinking of a blowjob. Baby steps. Something to take the edge off. But now I realized it had been WAY too long since I'd fucked a guy. "God yeah. You able to host?"

"If you can give me fifteen minutes."

I pawed my crotch now. I was getting boned good. "Make it twenty?" I wanted to shower up.

"Sounds good, man."

***

The profile had sold the guy short. He didn't look hotter than his pictures but as he ushered me in, he had a deep sexy voice. Almost gravely, with a New York accent. He had a towel wrapped around his waist and I could see how dense his muscle was on a frame that was about 6 inches shorter than mine.

"Looks like I hit the jackpot, huh?" he smiled. Then as his eyes swept up to my face, he added, "Don't worry, I'm not gonna gush. You know you're smoking hot."

OK, maybe JC was right, I could get used to the ego pump. With a grin I stepped up to the guy and wrapped my arms around his naked torso, drawing him in.

"I wasn't sure..." he started to say in his deep voice befor I cut him off with a kiss.

He was a good kisser. This was a hookup, just a hookup, and our making out wasn't romantic, but I really enjoyed this part of sex, and this man knew how to respond to my groove. His hands felt up my chest as he did his best to match my tongue work.

Maybe it had been so long since I'd had sex, but the feel of his bare skin and hard back muscle under my fingers had me rock hard. This guy wasn't my type, but he was masculine and real and he wanted me. I pulled off his towel and broke the kiss so I could reach down and paw at his thick ass. It wasn't a young bubble ass, it wasn't Kevin Murphy's kicker's ass, but this man went to the gym regularly and had for years.

"Yess.." he hissed.

I kneaded his ass for a minute longer then stepped back, in full ready to fuck mode. As I reached down and started undoing my shorts and kicking off my shoes, my trick looked at me with horny anticipation, his daddy dick hard and leaking, a solid six-incher that stood out from his trimmed but hairy crotch.

"I guess we didn't talk about specifics," he said, stepping back to the bed. "You a missionary or doggy position kind of guy?"

God, this was 180 degrees from my normal Grindr experience. I always met freaks who'd get real porny and weird, or I met guys who were bossy about their needs. This man had a fun laid-back vibe, even as we were getting to brass tacks.

Usually my answer would be missionary. "Doggy," I leered, letting my thick long cock fall out as I pushed my underwear down.

"Fuck," the daddy hissed. "You didn't exaggerate the measurements. Take it a little easy at first, then I'm good to go." I watched as he got onto the bed, on all fours. It was clearly the body of a man in his late 40s, but I was going to enjoy it all the same.

I got up on after him, letting the mattress sink with my weight. I'd hit almost 240 in college ball, and while I'd leaned down a little since then, I still was 230 pounds of tall muscle.

I remember one time I'd started eating out some model looking guy I'd hooked up with and he about freaked out, telling me he wasn't into getting rim. But as I kissed along this man's lightly furred ass cheeks, one side then the other, he spread his legs in an unmistakeable green light. I dove in and licked.

Fuck, this daddy loved it. I thought about what JC said. Masculine dudes with that drunk sorority chick worthy wild streak. He was some regular guy on business, and he was enjoying me eating him out and munching wildly at his clean pucker.

"Holy fuck, dude!" he growled, the deep voice making his words seem more sexual. "Eat my fucking hole."

I did. I wasn't even expecting an extended rim session for this. I almost thought it would be a pump and go, but I now rode the experience, gripping his cheeks, pulling them apart and tongue fucking this man who indeed was old enough to be my father.

I could have kept at it, too, but I needed to fuck. I leaned up, wiped off the spit from my chin and reached down to wet my cock.

"There's lube and condoms," he said, nodding to the night stand. "I'm on PREP so do what you want, man." Again, that deep voice had my balls twitching.

I slathered on some lube and lined up my bare prick. Daddy was gonna get raw dogged. I gave a two-mississippi pause then pushed to enter him.

There was some snugness at the ring but otherwise no real resistance. I popped in, making the man grunt a little, but he braced his upper body, took a deep breath, then nodded. I pushed my way all the way in, deep into his hot tightness. I forgot how amazing a good fuck felt. Bottoming out, I gripped his waist and began a slow pump.

"Jesus, you're a big boy," he grunted, excitement in his voice.

"6-four," I teased, now fucking him with firmer strokes.

"I meant your cock," the daddy said.

"I know," I hissed. "You're taking that big dick."

"Christ, man," he replied. "Fuck me! Fuck me big guy!"

I did. Getting more and more into it. I was enjoying this position of holding his waist and using that leverage to pull his leaner muscular build onto my hard pistoning cock as much as I was pushing into him. But as I got more excited and more into the mounting pleasure, I felt a need for something more animalistic. Leaning forward, I covered his back with my muscular chest and torso and just started hammering him with hard short strokes.

"Oh fuck oh fuck," he hissed. Loving it, but feeling the challenge of taking me that way, given my strength.

It wouldn't take long though. I now supported my weight with one arm while the other one wrapped around him, pulling his hard body next to mine for maximum contact and steady penetration.

He too was braced on one hand now while the jerked off to my inward strokes.

He came a second before me, but it was a photo finish. I let out a deep heavy growl and enjoyed the most amazing orgasm I'd had in a LONG time.

He finally withdrew his hand and let my weight push him down into a flat lying position.

"Am I too heavy?" I asked as I kissed his neck softly. I didn't want to pull out just yet, the aftershocks felt pretty amazing.

"I'm good," came that deep voice. "I like it, actually."

I kissed him more, along his neck. It's a weird thing of mine. Some guys lose interest after getting their nut, but I get in a real romantic headspace after cumming. It's freaked some men out.

Daddy picked up on it. "I thought you'd be a fuck and go kind of guy," he said with a soft laugh.

"Sorry," I said, pushing myself up off him some.

"Don't apologize, it's nice."

I ran my hand along the man's arm. Strong, not as big as mine, but there's something about an older man that meant more seasoned muscle. "I know this is just a hookup," I said. "I just like talking with a guy I have sex with. I'm weird, I guess."

He got quiet, but his reply felt calm and measured. "We can grab brunch if you like. I can learn more about the guy who just gave me the fuck of my life."

"Yeah," I said.

Now as we uncoupled and rinsed off in the bathroom before getting dressed again, I was having second doubts, and maybe I was leading him on too much. I absolutely didn't want anything serious with this guy. After today, I'd probably half forget him. This was just my hormones talking.

He seemed to read me. "You OK, man?"

I nodded. "Yeah."

He gave me an empathetic look. "Don't worry, I know I'm just a piece of tail to you. But I'm starving... why don't we get a bite and then you can get back to your bachelor party duties?"

I smiled. "Sounds good," I said. I stepped up and kissed him, softly. Wrapping my arms around his waist and enjoying the height difference.

"My name's Curt," he said.

"Brendan," I said.

[artificial-transmutations]

Can you believe it?

10.02.2024

Can you fucking believe it?

As most of you know, I'm working for LifeCorp, and you won't believe what they just did to me! I'm pissed!

My job is, apparently, becoming 'obsolete' with the whole AI thing bla bla bla. But! Of course, they don't want to fire me. Instead, they're offering me alternative positions. So far so good, right? But do you know which positions they offered me?

- Security Guard

- Janitor

- Escort

Not that bad, right? I mean I don't have the skillset for any of those, but that is apparently no problem, because these jobs come with a fucking mandatory life change if I take them?

Apparently, my usual charming self is not enough:

What kind of bullshit is this? Normal companies ask you to move if you want to keep your job, LifeCorp requires you take on a whole new body, just to keep working for them.

You think that's outrageous? It gets better. Apparently, none of those jobs is suitable for a woman. I can be a male security guard, a male janitor or a male escort. And when I complained about it, they just said that for security guard and janitor, a strong body is a requirement, and they have enough female escorts already. What a bunch of assholes! There's absolutely no way I'm gonna take one of those jobs.

Love, Tracy

***

14.02.2024

Have you seen LifeCorp's newest shit post? The valentine's day special? The audacity!

Stacy and Zara are now fricking men? No doubt they have been bullied to make that change. You know what this company has? A fucking frat-boy attitude. More and more people are becoming guys, "BeCaUsE tHeY wAnT tO". Bullshit. It's clear to me that the upper management wants to see more dick in their company. Probably a cocksucker like Stacy and Zara have become. I'll talk to them first chance tomorrow.

Oh, and Matthew? Why would anyone want to become a Latino?!

Love, Tracy

***

18.02.2024

Okay, I talked to Stacy and Zara (No, I won't call them "Steel and Zacharias", these are still women!). They were all "Oh, we're so much happier now" and "We're finally being our true selves" and "You should do the same, really."

It's a fucking brainwash. I mean, they haven't been right in their mind to begin with (they had the delusion of being a couple - ha! Couples are one man and one woman, nothing else!), but it's becoming veeery clear to me that they have been forced and brainwashed. And I will find proof for that!

Love, Tracy

***

18.02.2024 - 2

Okay, I'm fuming now. I told my boyfriend about that whole job situation. And you know what he said? You know what he fucking said?

"Ok. Do whatever makes you happy."

He just said "Ok" and was all cool about it! He even had the audacity to tell me that they didn't force me to do anything and that I could just find a new job if I didn't want any of that bodies.

But the best part is still to come. He said, and I quote, "Just make sure to ask them to make me gay if you take any of those jobs, so we can still be together." I mean... wow. That's a reason for a breakup just there. He's a fricking man, or at least that's what I thought up until now. The thought of becoming gay should have been something that made him sick!

But, oh no. He's fine with it. Disgusting! I need to re-think this relationship.

Love, Tracy

***

19.02.2024

I have a plan!

I'm going to accept one of LifeCorps offers. No, hear me out. I'm gonna accept - and then I'll sue them. Discrimination, kidnapping, something like that. I'm gonna be rich. Oh, and about my boyfriend? He's gonna have it his way. I'll make sure they make him the fag he begs to be and then break up with him. This'll teach him. Good thing he doesn't read this feed.

I'm just too clever for this world. Take that, LifeCorp!

Gonna take the janitor, though. With all their fake diversity and stuff, the guard and escort probably aren't even white.

Love, Tracy

***

22.02.2024

I just got a letter congratulating me on my choice and that they are happy to keep me as an employee. Ha. If these losers knew.

Love, Tracy

***

26.02.2024

Holy shit! How do you guys even walk with that thing?

Needless to say, I got my new body. Here's what I look like now:

Apparently, they meant it well with me, cause my new dick is just... enormous. And they gave me some huge balls to match it, too.

The muscles aren't all that bad, either - I just feel big and powerful all around. The hair will take some getting used to, but it's not for long, after all. After I sue them, I'll demand my original body back.

I do have to admit, I'm feeling good, though. So much more powerful, but calm and happy at the same time. I wonder if this is a guy thing or a me thing? Is that how my boyfriend feels all the time?

Oh, gosh. My boyfriend. He's probably gay already, so I should break up with...

But that would be really mean. Also, thinking about him just made my new member react. It's kinda straining my underwear now. These things really do have a mind of their own, right?

What was I writing about? Yes, my boyfriend. Why did I want to break up with him? I mean, he's just cute like a button, right? I just realize what a gigantic asshole I was, planning to break up with him. I'll have to apologize. Or, even better, I'll apologize by showing show him this huge package I got. That's what he wanted, right?

I should really go. Don't want to keep him waiting.

...

You know what? I think I'll try out this new life before I make any more rushed decision. So far, I enjoy being a dude a lot and I'm actually looking forward to my new job. And my new-old boyfriend. And they didn't even force me to do anything. Perhaps I should ask them to adjust my ethnicity later on, though - I feel a bit more adventurous now. Also, I think I'll go by Trace now. It's an unusual name, but I like it.

Sorry for being such an ass before. Well, speaking of ass - off to get some.

Bye!

- Trace

[mewtwo24]

I finally finished reading the fourth volume of svsss in full, and thing is--the first time through I only read the bingqiu content because I was ravenous for more of their happy ending.

Turns out that was a perilous mistake.

Because I started reading the airplane extras. And I swear to god. MXTX is trying to kill me

What do you MEAN demon lord Binghe was sitting on his big fucking throne. All stoic and forbidding. Surrounded by his demon generals who don't know shit about human courtship. Asking them what he should do, fully demoralized by constant rejections from sqq, only to have airplane tell him to act more pathetic and needy. Which is already hysterically funny and insane, UNTIL LBH'S RESPONSE IS THIS, KILLING ME INSTANTLY:

LUO BINGHE. WHY DOES HE SAY IT LIKE: "I already tried that, didn't work--nothing works :/ not mean, not maidenly, not housewife, not spicy, not capable disciple. Is doubling down on clingy really all it will take? What's a born hater with only one love in his life to do????"

The dichotomy of him sitting there like 'how can I reach the unfathomable depths of shizun's heart?' A HEART HE'S ALREADY WON OVER, MIND and then in the Holy Mausoleum solving the puzzle without blinking and being like 'oh yeah you just have to hit the acupoints, no sweat.' Literally the comedy writes itself I'm so--

How am I supposed to be normal about this. MXTX understands the juicy quintessential queer joy of a person with the world's power at their fingertips wishing only for love. Willing to do anything to earn that love, when unbeknownst to them it's already been freely given. Totally not screaming and yelling and clawing at the walls

And that's not even touching airplane's uproarious account of events. The way he's like 'lol what's next, lbh and sqq are best friends now? smfh' only to see lbh TACKLE SQQ LOVINGLY. FOR SQQ TO BE BASHFUL ABOUT IT BUT SO SO FOND OF THE LITTLE SCAMP. This when we've been experiencing sqq's constant inner monologue of 'I'm so cool and so dignified about my role, truly the epitome of propriety and poser-level fortitude.' Meanwhile, in their universe:

Airplane constantly flaming???? Sqq and lbh in his observations????? His absolute bewilderment and confusion????? Legendary. No notes every single second of this shit was hilarious.

Airplane's comment that sqq + older adolescent lbh traveling together was just watching a couple in their honeymoon phase. OR the fact that lbh is exceedingly petty and refuses to share their food in the wake of airplane's interruption of their time together, until sqq relents sheepishly and insists airplane eat what's left (ONLY AFTER PLACATING LBH WITH MORE FOOD FROM HIS PLATE, SOBBING)

Watching airplane salivate over Mobei-Jun and acting like that's totally normal behavior. Finding out mbj and airplane got together first. Finding out sqq encouraged airplane. LIKE THIS. WHILE HE IS STILL IN DENIAL ABOUT HIS OWN FEELINGS:

Mobei-jun clearly thinking their arrangement is a forever thing, heartbroken his human abandoned him with all the hapless fury of a scorned wife swept away by false promises of fidelity. Airplane writing demons to be the type to beat up their crush lovingly and still unable to connect the dots about mbj's feelings. Mbj letting him go and respecting his wishes, only relenting when there's indication airplane was poorly processing his own feelings and didn't actually want to leave. Mbj caring for him and listening to him as soon as airplane voices what he needs directly and with clarity. None of these gays are functional and it's everything to me

Unrelated, but I physically can't hold this information in anymore:

I'm still reeling from younger lbh having his sexual awakening from the image of sqq wrapped in the immortal binding cables. Condemn me as you like he was so, so real for that.

And no I will not be taking any comments about how luo bingge couldn't bear to see luo binghe cherished in ways he never got to have and all the haunting implications of that. I will also not be taking any comments about luo binghe's instinct to look for sqq in that alternate universe, only to be shaken to the very core to be unable to find his shizun anywhere. The unspeakable and latent horror of his relentless mind likely piecing together what happened, but unable to say it; to suspect what is true, and live with the harrowing confusion of his double's actions. To blame himself, to assume that he had let his anger get the better of him in that world and result in unspeakable folly...

I also refuse to talk about how heartrending it is to hear Tianlang-jun weakly say "In the end, I really can't bring myself to hate humans." The implication that the foolishness of that hope and bright-eyed fondness--the very thing that put him through such unspeakable agony--couldn't be beaten out of him entirely. To discover that his faith in Su Xiyan hadn't been misplaced, to the contrary: his beloved hadn't scorned him at all, but rather fought to the miserable end to protect the fruition of their genuine feelings of love when she couldn't protect tlj or herself.

How MXTX has sqq deliberately draw parallels between their situation and that of ygy+sj and tlj+sx; desperately wishing it might not be too late for them. The concept of breaking cycles of abuse and harm pervasive throughout the newly devised story, how it evolves for the better only when love takes the place of power, pride, and domination. How the moment sqq chooses vulnerability instead of saving face, the genre shifts to the so-called "cringe" girly genre where most if not every character is more fulfilled, more true to themselves. How the "male-oriented" former genre was aimlessly sensationalized and sexualized, how it was a sustained performance of aspirational toxic masculinity. How men objectify other men without end. All of the unspoken gendered implications that come with that.

Anyways. Going to go put my head in a sandbox and try to process everything I just witnessed because even a second reading is not enough to find a modicum of closure.

[celaenaeiln]

Please talk more about B & D’s “unable to be defined/labeled dynamic/relationship as it encompasses many labels yet at the same time cannot be fitted to just one label” dynamic 🙏

I'd be delighted to!!

Link to original post

In the previous post I had included a panel where Bruce is referred to Dick as his "surrogate father, mentor, friend, and partner." These words could not be more different from each other and while they should not be used in conjunction with each other, they have never suited these two people more. In fact I don't there is any character pairing in any fandom that has the same dynamic that these two have. Dick and Bruce's relationship has a complicated depth to it that Bruce and the rest of his children don't have.

I think the most confusing thing is when Bruce constantly confuses Dick being a son and a partner.

First thing I want to start off with is that Dick and Bruce used to sleep in beds so close together it looks like one bed. In the 1950's this arrangement was known as the "twin beds" which were typically used for married couples. Children slept in a separate bedroom which begs the question why Dick and Bruce had a sleeping arrangement similar to that of marriage partners. This is the first weird thing about their relationship.

Not to mention, the romantic boat rides they used to take together. But was this normal then between father and son or is it just a romantic thing now, I don't know. As well as when they decided bronzing themselves naked next to each other. Not really sure what was going on there, if it was acceptable during that time or what but I do know that the reason that creators decided to send Dick to college in 1970 was because they wanted to beat the gay batman and robin allegations. It's weird as hell that they even came up with these ideas. Also the robin crossdressing. For justice, am I right?!

I feel these instances are important because it breaks any barriers they have between them. They're so (platonically for me) intimate that there's nothing but each other in their souls. One of the key reasons that their relationship is vague and intense and encompassing.

Dick is also considered Bruce's partner intellectually.

Instead of Dick listening to Bruce and following behind, as it's often shown in robin comics, they talk on equal terms. There's other moments of this shown too:

I think this is the reason why Bruce considers Dick a partner. He's not only exceedingly intelligent, but he even at a young age he's able to keep up with Bruce's thought process as an equal when even the justice league and other major adult heroes fail to do. Bruce's inventions are Dick's inventions because they played an equal role in creating them. This is why he's called the Prodigal Son.

Now onto him being a best friend and a son mix.

We know the classic example of Dick expecting to be Bruce's best man and Bruce thinking the same. But there are other moments that indicate that too.

But it isn't one sided because Dick also sees Bruce as his best friend:

Dick punching Bruce in the throat and single handedly carrying him like a sack of potatoes is just funny as hell.

Also including the fact that Dick and Bruce embody sleepover, besties behavior:

BUT HERE'S WHERE IT GETS JUICY.

Having your child act as your bestfriend is terrible for your child's mental health.

I'm speaking from personal experience but when your parent trauma dumps their life onto you at a young age, you mature emotionally much faster than you're supposed. You start becoming aware of people's thoughts and emotions at a deeper level and you start attuning yourself to others. In layman's terms: you change yourself to be able to meet your parent's high expectations and act as an emotional sponge for their anger, sorrow, disappointment, and frustration about their own life.

I'm not hesitant to admit that Dick's manipulation tactics most likely stem from this behavior. He knows what he wants and he will do anything to get it. This doesn't mean he's a bad person though. In fact I give him the highest level of respect of any character because all his intentions are good. He doesn't cheat, lie, or trick people into killing themself or harming others or bringing them down. He does it to make their lives better which is-I'm sorry, I don't have the proper words to express the multitudes of emotion I'm feeling for that.

(I nearly went into a massive monologue about how other people view his manipulation but that's for another post. )

This is also where things get complicated, and why we know Bruce and Dick as the way they are.

Dick has become so emotionally and mentally adept that he's able to pick up on others' thoughts and attitudes (Bruce specifically) before they even realize them. This is why Bruce is so dependent on Dick for everything. In one comic Garth says "Dick's a good listener."

I'm going to deviate for a minute here and include a panel that shows how this personality trait affects Dick's other roles:

Speaking more about Bruce's impact on Dick, there's this:

Aside from the huge ass painting on the wall of just the two of them-the panel is another perfect example of the complicated depth to them. They see each other as equals and when something interferes with that perception, then they start having problems. It haunts Bruce that the 8yr old he took in is equally matched to him in skill and ability but he also recognizes that Dick is too young to be able to do so. He should not have to experience the pain and responsibility of an adult but Bruce can't just get rid of him because Dick is the only one capable of keeping up with him. His heart also breaks when Dick is away (he starts crying in a panel multiple panels as Dick is leaving). For Dick he's already far used to the roles and responsibilities that he doesn't consider his age a factor as to why Bruce refuses to let him do the same things. This is a source of miscommunication between them. Bruce knows Dick can succeed at anything given to him but feels he shouldn't have to deal with those things. And Dick doesn't understand the hesitance when he's proven to have accomplished those tasks and greater before.

To expand, Dick's relationship with Bruce reminds me of Slade's relationship with Billy Wintergreen when Deathstroke tells him "You've been with me through everything...but now I have to say goodbye when you're unconscious or else I can't do it." Or something along those lines, the vibes are the same.

Oh yes, and this scene too:

Which mimics a lot of the confusion other characters have over Dick and Bruce's relationship.

But the difference between Slade and Billy vs Dick and Bruce is that Dick and Bruce's relationship is blurred on ALL fronts. There's not a single moment where Bruce has viewed Dick strictly as a son.

This leads me into the mentor aspect.

Note: while Dick knows Bruce the best, Bruce also knows Dick the best of all his children. There's a certainty to the way he speaks about Dick's abilities that he lacks when discussing his other sons'. That doesn't mean he doesn't know what they can do-he well aware and knowledgeable-it just means that his relationship with and understanding of Dick far exceeds what he has with the others.

Holy crap there's so much I'm bouncing all over the place-let me go back for second to partners.

Everyone knows this iconic scene whether you're in the fandom or not:

But few people know what comes next-

From the dawn of Batman and Robin comics, Batman has been obsessed with controlling Dick. I don't understand why he doesn't use his manipulative tactics on anyone else. There's a comic panel where Dick tells Barbara, "...you and Bruce don't need to manipulate me into doing what you guys want." It was always his way or the highway with him and Bruce reflects on this again in Batman and Robin Eternal. Dick also tells Bruce he's being pig-headed during the 1966 comic version of the Warner Brother's film and when Bruce asks him "Am I really pig-headed?" Alfred goes "hell yeah." Essentially.

(Also going to sneak this in as another example of why Dick wasn't an angry robin to a previous post

)

Ofcourse Bruce seems him as a son too:

THE FULL ON SMILE HE HAS ON HIS FACE JUST LISTENING TO DICK TALK!!!

Also in the linked previous post there's the panel of Bruce begging the judge not to take away his son from him. "Dick is like my own son!I've even changed my will so that incase of my death, Dick will get my entire fortune! You honor, I...I love that boy! Please don't take him from me!"

We already know many references about Dick being labelled Dick's son so I'll leave this aside for now.

Now here's the main point- the way Bruce and Dick interact with each other has so much history they're unable to explain themselves to others or each other. There's so many complex emotions between the two of them that sometimes even they're confused.

But seriously. What is your obsession with Dick, Bruce?

Lemme explain.

As everyone knows Dick and Clark are best friends. They are so close to the point where Bruce actually sweeps the stuff off his desk in the batcave and says "LET ME JUST GET RID OF ALL OUR TROPHIES. I'LL JUST MAKE ROOM FOR THE ADVENTURES OF SUPERMAN AND ROBIN INSTEAD!"

WTFFFFF BRUCE. WHY ARE YOU GETTING JEALOUS OF YOUR 15YR OLD'S FRIENDSHIP?

Oh, yes, what trophies am I talking about? Trophies of their battles together of course!

Which means the batcave is memorabilia of their time together. You know what that also means? It means that Bruce sulks in the Batcave because in the cave, he can literally surround himself with the time he spent with Dick.

Bruce is so abnormal about Dick. He sees Dick as an all in one. Every single relationship category you can think of, Bruce has bundled it up and put it into Dick. If all their various relationships became a physical string, Bruce would have a leash on Dick that resembles a thick, corded rope. So if you cut one thread of, say, friendship, the rope won't tear become the other threads of partnership, family, and other ambiguous threads would still hold them together.

Bruce has a leash on Dick but something Dick doesn't know and Bruce won't admit is that Dick has a leash on him too.

HERE'S THE INSECURITY WITH DICK AGAIN. THE MAN THINKS THE WORLD OF DICK BUT HE'S HORRIFIED AT THE THOUGHT, AT THE POSSIBILITY, THAT DICK DOESN'T FEEL THE SAME OF HIM.

He's constantly seeking reassurance of his place with Dick through the only way he knows how-manipulation. While Bruce consistently distances himself from his son, he's doing it on purpose so Dick will come running back to him. I mean-isn't that what he did with Jason? Expelling Dick in fury and fear and not telling Dick about taking in a new robin?

In the comic Dick drops by and tells him "I found out through a newspaper and since I haven't been robin..." to which Bruce responds horrified and guilty. He knows what he's doing. He just doesn't want to get caught as to why.

Others have picked on this obsession he has with Dick too:

Someone clearly knew the importance of Nightwing to Batman. They knew what his death would do to him. And in response Bruce went out of his way-to a foreign land-just to take revenge on the man who almost took “his boy” away from him. Leaving with a parting promise, an oath, to hunt down the other one and leave him crippled for life too. Did Batman know KG Beast would survive or did he just leave it up to fate?

In the previous panel, apart from KG Beast calling Dick "your boy" to Batman, it's only implied though. So how do we know if Dick really does have that much weight to Bruce? Well not only is it confirmed, it is engraved in stone:

And when the blast nearly kills Dick, Bruce nearly kills the man who did it. WITH A GUN.

Also him trying to strangle Lex Luthor to death before Lex chokes out in between stolen gasps that Dick's not actually dead but he will be if Bruce continues.

Did you know that the dead Robin in the Superman vs Batman movie was confirmed to be Dick? Yeah. That says a lot right there.

Brothers

I'm not going to get into their brother relationship because that involves how Alfred treats Dick as a son rather than a grandson and is opening a whole new mansion of stuff so I'm going to wrap this up here and say the two of them are a LOT.

Bruce and Dick's relationship is impossible to define and that's why they keep ending up fighting. Their relationship doesn't have clear boundaries and since each type of relationship (brotherhood, father/son, partnership, friendship, colleagues, idols&pedestals) has it's own unique problems, and because the two of them alone are all those things, they have all the problems of each of these categories combined. But they also have all the benefits. Inseparably entwined these two.

[welcometothejianghu]

Welcome to another round of W2 Tells You What You Should See, where W2 (me) tries to sell you (you) on something you should be watching. Today's choice: 鬓边不是海棠红/Winter Begonia

Winter Begonia is the tale of the intertwined lives of a wealthy, westernized businessman and a bratty, dramatic Peking Opera performer as they navigate the historical landscape of 1930s China.

It is a slow historical ramble of a show, to the point where I couldn't really say it has a single plot. Events just happen in their lives, and the show follows them with a pleasant steadiness. Characters go away, and sometimes they come back. Interpersonal conflicts rise and then get resolved. Sometimes you just get to sit and watch part of an opera happen. The last third of the show develops a slightly more cohesive narrative, but even then, it's still mostly a loose constellation of events related to larger goings-on in the culture.

So if you're looking for tight plots and fast-paced action, you'll want to look somewhere else. But if you're the kind of person who likes to wrap up sometimes in a gentle warm blanket of a beautiful show, I have five reasons you should give this one a try.

1. Oh, they're in love

Perhaps the most notable thing about Cheng Fengtai and Shang Xirui is that they spend the entire show smiling at one another, staring longingly at one another, and/or making each other laugh.

A lot of danmei couples depend on having at least one partner who, if not outright tsundere, is at least stoically long-suffering -- which is romantic, sure, but also exhausting in real life. These two read about as married as any danmei pair I've ever seen because they make one another smile all the time. They're incredibly touchy and affectionate from basically the moment they meet. They're not just in love, they actually like one another.

Now, don't get me wrong: These two are both absolute exhausting gremlins who deserve one another so they don't have to be anyone else's problems. But they're good-natured enough about their respective gremlin natures that when one of them lets loose with his rascality, the other tends to think it's hilarious.

They don't even have the mandated danmei breakup! They're never mad at one another for more than the length of an episode. Most of the time they're just refreshingly normal about one another (or, you know, about as normal as two drama queens can be). And when they're being not normal about one another, it's because the circumstances they are currently enduring are not normal either.

They're so in love that by the time you get to the last episode, everyone in their lives is like, gee, those two sure are in love. For the main couple in a Chinese-censored BL adaptation? That's pretty darn in love.

2. The costumes!!!

Of course I have to gush over the costumes. Several major characters are professional opera performers, and their wardrobes are just stunning in complexity and detail -- and accuracy, apparently.

But they're not even where all of the wardrobe budget went! Everyone looks great, from the dapper upper class to the household servants to the street performers.

I also can't get over how everyone looks so cozy in their winter outfits. The show really wants to hammer home how cold Beijing is, and so most non-opera clothes are either heavily quilted or furry. Not a single outfit in this show is slimming (except maybe for some of the gorgeous gowns Cheng Meixin wears). It's all about conserving body heat, which means a lot of people walk around basically wearing mildly tailored quilts all the time. I love it. I envy it.

3. Oops! All bottoms!

This is a show of very soft men. It helps that very many of them have spent their whole lives playing female roles, but even those that haven't tend to be pretty darn soft.

(And I'm not even talking about the way people keep handing Cheng Fengtai babies and he loves it.)

Du Luocheng and Shang Xirui are absolutely what happens when you get two soft gay guys who are kinda into one another, but they're both too lazy to top, so they just become best friends instead.

Fan Lian stands as a testament to how you can be the only heterosexual in the show and still be soft as hell.

The old married gays. Softness level: off the charts.

Chen Renxiang's role is that of the opera frenemy, and he's incredibly soft about it. (This actor is also apparently in the Sha Po Lang live-action adaptation! Maybe someday it will be released...)

Opera underling La Yuehong hardens up later in the show, but even when he does, there's still a tragic softness to it.

Even the baddies are soft! Pretty much all the rival opera bitches fall into the "love to hate" category -- and nearly all of them win at least some sympathy from you before they leave the story for good.

There's one more soft boy whose presence surprised me, and that is Xue Zhicheng/Kujo Kazuma, a sympathetic Japanese character. Every other Japanese character in the show is sinister somehow -- not surprising, considering the drama is set during the brutal Japanese occupation of Beiping/Beijing.

But this little guy is a gentle, well-meaning opera fan who just wants to watch his favorite performers! When his actions cause trouble, it's only because he's so well-meaning that he couldn't see how anyone could disapprove of his attempts at cross-cultural undertanding. He even comes to the rescue a few times, at significant personal cost!

Moreover, the show uses him to make it clear that there's a difference between the Japanese occupying force and Japanese people and culture. In fact, the show is pretty critical of people who conflate the two and use interest in the latter as evidence of support of the former. That is not a level of nuance I've seen from other dramas set in this time period, and I was pleased to see it.

In conclusion, the critial war shortage in 1930s Beijing was not food or medicine or ammunition, but tops.

4. A whole lotta ladies

Again, not even counting the fact that one of the two main guys, many of his buddies, all of his heroes, and several of the antagonists professionally dress as women.

The most notable of them is Cheng Fengtai’s wife, Fan Xiang'er. They've been married for years by the time the show starts, and they have a son together. Theirs is an arranged marriage that they've managed to make work so well that they've actually wound up liking one another ... most of the time. Remember what I said earlier about his being exhausting? She knows that better than anyone.

(Sidebar: If you are uncomfortable with a love story where one of the participants is canonically married to someone else, this may be one you want to skip. That said, there are several male characters in this show who have multiple wives and/or mistresses, so the metric of what counts as infidelity in this setting is ... loose.)

Beyond her, though, there are many more female supporting characters in this show, from all different socioeconomic levels, in all different kinds of situations.

A caveat: Some of the women (one in particular) are at times frustrating as hell because they're too often written as jealous shrews who believe all the terrible gossip they hear and act on it without having actual adult conversations with anyone first. I dislike this trope, mostly because it relies on making some smart women artificially very stupid for the sake of forwarding the plot. I have little patience for situations that could have been solved five episodes ago if somebody had just been willing to ask clarifying questions.

That said, I can't be too mad about that, because there are many, many more women who are not written like that. Some of them are good and loyal! Some are sneaky and self-interested! Some are callous and manipulative! Some are meek and traumatized! Some make terrible decisions! Some make terrible decisions but, like, you get it! You know, just like in real life?

The answer to better representation is almost always more representation. When a character is the only one of whatever they are, everything they do is kind of an indictment of that category, especially when that category has a history of stereotypical negative representation. When there are several others, the characters stop being representatives of that category and start being just plain characters.

5. It just feels good to watch

Don't misunderstand: This is not a happy fun time show where everything in sunshine and roses all the way down. There are plenty of tense and emotional parts. Not everyone we like makes it out of the drama alive. Not all love stories get a happily ever after. People disappoint one another all the time. Awful things happen when soldiers occupy civilian populations. Poverty is a bitch.

But the show itself remains a nice viewing experience. It's absolutely a feast for the senses, what with all the music and costumes and sets and props and old-fashioned cars and everything.

The story is very straightforward. It's never trying to do any complex schemes or mislead you before some big reveal. I imagine this could be a good show to put on in the background while you're doing something else. You're never going to be too desperately confused about what's going on if you zone out for a minute -- and if you are, just hang on for a bit, because by next episode, it'll probably be onto whatever storyline comes next.

I have not read the novel, and I cannot judge anything against its standards. However, my friend who has read parts of the novel tells me that the adaptation is much preferable, because in the novel, you get to hear everyone's internal narration -- and everyone's internal narration makes it clear they're all bratty, insufferable assholes. That is not the case here! Or, rather, they are often bratty and/or insufferable, but from outside their heads, it's a lot more charming.

Finally, it's legitimately a very good love story. Shang Xirui is the only person in Cheng Fengtai's life who loves him for who he is, not what someone else needs him to be. Cheng Fengtai goes from being enraptured by this beautiful little weirdo to basically wanting to wife him. They spend a lot of time taking care of one another, sometimes in the only ways they know how. They're capable of operating independently -- there are several episodes where their storylines diverge completely -- but they'd prefer not to. They've just each found their soulmate, and that's all there is to it. (The red thumbprint in the palm is about the most romantic thing I've ever seen.)

I'm a little surprised by how little I hear English-speaking fandom talk about this one, especially since (see below) it's a widely available, high-budget show that even has a Shang Xirui figurine, and there's no question about how in gay love these two are. But if you hop over to AO3, there's only 257 works total in the Winter Begonia tag, a scant 57 of which are in English, and if you've tried looking into the Winter Begonia tag on Tumblr, you know it's pretty quiet 'round here.

I can't be sure, but I'd assume that's partly because this is both a) a relatively low-stakes drama, and b) so enmeshed with actual historical events and concepts that you'd have to do at least a baseline amount of research before making any fan media. I would imagine that for some folk, this is a barrier to entry.

And it is 49 slow, gentle episodes long. I saw Tumblr posts asking which episodes are important, because the posters don't want to or can't commit to watching the whole thing. But the answer is ... all of them? none of them? There's no plot you'd be getting or missing with specific episodes. There are very few things I can think of that would even qualify as spoilers. It's just a walk through a couple very eventful years in the main pair's lives. I understand if folk aren't up for that, but if you are, this is really a gem.

Have I convinced you to give it a try?

I would say that Winter Begonia is perhaps the most easily watchable of any c-drama I've come across. Here's where you can find it:

iQiyi

Viki

Amazon Prime

YouTube

We watched most of it on YouTube, where the subs were perfectly fine. However, there was one episode where we had to switch platforms because the English subs were all out of synch, so we went to Amazon and they were fine there too. Other than that, I don't really have a sense of which translation experience is the best. Try them all!

(PS: If you feel like putting on a tinfoil hat, I'm just going to say, they look at one another like that in real life, too.)

[lovedrruunk]

‘Awkward meetings ❀⋆.ೃ࿔

Venture (Overwatch x reader)

Authors note!! ＼(＾▽＾); second venture fic!! Tbh I just rlly rlly rlly hated my last one so I’m giving it another go bc I’m actually just so in love with them.. If you see me pocketing the HELL out of a venture mind yer damn business. also im having a pretty tough time coming up with scenarios so id rlly appreciate some ideas!

This was new. Sloane wasn’t nervous; they weren’t the nervous type! They’re bold, and fun, and eccentric (in a good way!) and they most definitely weren’t nervous! So why was it that each time you came around they seemed to trip over their words?

“Young love…” Tracer and Angela couldn’t help but smile, looking at the two of you from a distance as they were enjoying their coffee in Gibraltars HQ lounge.

Any regular person would call them crazy for seeing anything romantic about your awkward short interactions, but knowing both of you when you’re apart tells them everything they’d need to know.

“Yea!... I like your nails! They look… aesthetically pleasing…”

“Oh, thank you! Yea um- painted them myself!”

“Really? Wow! That must’ve taken like… a billion years!”

“Haha!...Yea!”

In the distance, both women were heavily facepalming. They couldn’t help but cringe at the conversation, and as cute as the two of you were, awkwardness had its limits and you two seemed to hit it a while ago.

Sloane didn’t plan on the conversation going this way, they promise! It’s just each time they try talking to you their palms start to sweat and their knees start to wobble and the only thing they can focus on is your face and your voice and trying to think of the right joke to make you laugh and suddenly all those late nights of coming up with scenarios in their head of what to say to you while giggling and kicking their feet are left completely forgotten. All the diary entries describing exactly what they would say and do in order to at least be your friend have now gone to waste.

To be more than an acquaintance to you, that's all they’re asking for, they’ve lowered their standard and yet they couldn’t even reach it!

With a heavy sigh, they turn to look at you, wanting to give the conversation one more try. “Look… I’m really sorry for how lame I'm being. To be honest, I just think you’re really cool and it feels like I have no idea how to approach you!” They smile as they feel their nerves calm now that they’ve confessed to their nervousness. You feel a weight lift off your shoulders, and you’d be lying if you said you weren’t happy they had decided to break the ice first.

“Oh gosh okay, I’m so glad I’m not the only one who felt that way!! I’ve always thought you were cool and funny, honestly I just really wanted to get to know you.”

At this point, you were both smiling and it seemed like the heavy atmosphere had completely vanished now that you were both being transparent.

In the background, Tracer and Angela celebrated quietly, proud of the two of you for finally being able to act normal around one another. You two spent the next couple of minutes warming up to each other as you laughed and joked making plans to hang out, a warm feeling now in your chests.

“Y’know I don’t even know why I was so intimidated in the first place…”

“You could sense my gay agenda.”

[respectthepetty]

Second wild theory based on some thoughts and your tags that all Phee and Tan want is a confession: what if that's true? What if Phee and/or Tan gets the gun and starts an exposition drop about Non while holding the remaining boys are gunpoint and demanding answers and THEN THEY GET ATTACKED BY THE KILLER WHO IS NON'S BROTHER???

First, I need you to know that on a scale of "being completely normal about this show" to "if this show fails me, it'll be my villain origin story" that I'm currently FAR PAST the latter.

So with that being stated, I'm operating off of Wild Ass (Slasher) Theory 101 for this show aka

We've already met the killers and brother.

TLWR: Non is still alive. And it's all Dr. Sammon and Pit Babe's fault.

All the players are already on the board. We've seen all them in the first half, so now we are being reminded that we have seen them in the second half, like how the woman Keng was speaking to on the phone in episode seven about the money laundering was there in episode six.

And Perth's character was there too. (In the background in the purple/black jackets with the grey shirt)

So we've already met the brother somewhere in the first six episodes. Considering that two of those episodes were set in the past and Non would've noticed his brother, that means that we've seen the brother in the present.

We all keep stating White or Tan is Non's brother. There are some theories Perth is Non's brother, but he didn't notice him the gambling hall, and if the parents are really sending money to their gambling son then what is life?

White is my vote for final gay, and yours too. White is morally superior to the rest of the group and he is clever, which are two qualities a final girl must have. He also has a thin background story - he is dating Tee. Tan has no background story. He is simply everyone's friend who came along AFTER Non went missing; therefore, he is Non's brother.

And I think that Phi and Tan wanted the boys to confess to whatever they did to Non. Phi's dad was and perhaps still is a police chief. Tee's uncle is possibly going to jail, but wanted Non dead. Perth's character might be an uncovered reporter like the lady speaking to Keng was, and maybe, just maybe, the knowledge of what happened to Non could be of use to somebody beyond just Tan and Phi.

So scare the living shit out of the boys? Sure! Terrify the hell out of them? Of course! Maybe stab them a little bit here and there? Well, when in Rome (or the woods), do as the Romans do. Give them some hallucinogenics? Duh! Yet I don't think they intended to kill any of them (well, at least not until they got the confession).

But Por just had to run into the damn tree after seeing something in the camera.

Which caused Phi to ask Fluke how long he could keep Por alive since they planned to get that confession before the next vehicle arrived. But then Fluke cancelled their Uber.

White found the walkie-talkie that could be called for help. White found the gun that Fluke is now waving at everyone. White found the knife. White realized there was no cell phone service. White saw the tape. Pure and innocent White just keeps doing ALL the things that nobody asked him to do when WHITE WASN'T SUPPOSED TO EVEN BE THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE!

But now we have Jin seeing Mr. Keng, and Fluke spilling all the tea as he screams that "these fuckers killed someone," so Tan is going to get what he came for one way or another, even if a couple of dead bodies have to be exchanged for him to finally hear what happened three years ago to his brother?

And all of this makes sense in my head. Tan and Phi just wanted a confession. They didn't want anyone to die. However, they couldn't control every aspect of this weekend plan and shit went off the rails. Por ran into a tree. Fluke got a gun. Their Uber was cancelled. And now they have to figure out how to finish this murder mystery party when half the participants are losing their effing minds.

But then there is Uncle Dang.

And our Troublesome Trio looked genuinely shooketh when they saw what had become of him.

In Wild Ass (Slasher) Theory 101, nothing is supernatural. The killer can be everywhere because there is more than one killer, and that's why I'm praying Non is still alive.

The boys made Non the killer. Jin said since Non wrote the killer, Non would understand him better than anyone else.

Uncle Dang died first in the original film. Por was the director who took Non's writing credit. Top was the next to die before he screamed "cut!" at everyone. Fluke was probably next after that. Tee replaced Non, so it would have been Tee and Jin in the end, and Jin was the original main character and final gay as he deserted Non in the woods.

Non is finishing his movie, the way he wrote it.

And this is where my crazy really kicks in.

Phi knows.

Por, Fluke, Tee, Top, and Jin did a very bad thing to Non and ALL have seen and heard something out there in the woods.

White is Tee's boyfriend. He came around after Non went missing. He has seen a rash on his skin.

Tan is probably Non's brother. He wants a confession, but Tan saw something in the house that scared him.

Phi has seen . . . nothing. Phi has heard . . . nothing. He knew how to work the security system. He keeps giving orders. He continues to state the killer is a person.

And he'll do anything for Non.

He was very upset at Non, but he did tell Non he'd forgive him . . . if Non got lost and died.

Por, Fluke, Tee, Top, and Jin couldn't decide if Non was missing or dead, and the mafia is sending death threats and putting hits out on Non, so perhaps Non took a note from Pit Babe's Charlie and died. Or maybe he took a note from a different Tan and died (after killing his boyfriend).

Dr. Sammon, the writer behind Manner of Death, and Pit Babe's writers are the writers for Dead Friend Forever. Pit Babe is based off a novel, but in the Venn Diagram of BLs in which someone fakes his death the overlap is very slim with Chains of Heart being the third, and surprisingly, the screen writer for that series also wrote the screenplay for Dr. Sammon's Make a Wish. The world is small.

So why not disappear? Why not fake his own death?

But also, why wait three years to show back up?

Because the main threat is neutralized and awaiting jail time, but maybe, just maybe, Non hasn't been completely quiet for three years.

Mr. Keng very well might have died from the mafia. He was warned to watch out knowing how dangerous investigating them could be.

But . . . what if somebody else killed him?

Like I wrote at the beginning, I'm being crazy about this show. Wanting Non to be alive is very wishful thinking, but in my mind, if anyone is attacking these boys, I want it to be him. Tan seems pissed, but the most he has done is (intentionally) lose Top in the woods, and Phi is busy protecting Jin (because he wants to save him for last?), so they might start demanding answers in all this chaos, but if Phi's boyfriend died like Pit Babe's Charlie, don't you think he'd be like Barbie and forgive his boyfriend if he came back into his life magically? And don't you think he'd be willing to help his boyfriend get revenge on all the boys who left him for dead, especially the one who is about to leave the country forever?

Because I think he would.

But, then again, Non could actually be dead and Jin could be a good guy who I keep incorrectly blaming for everything.

Because it wouldn't be the first time Dr. Sammon killed a gay.

But it would be the first time she kept him dead.

So is this gonna be like Director Tee & Co. finally skipping out on a time jump when I needed it the most in Hidden Agenda even though that's what he is known to do, or is Dr. Sammon and the Pit Babe crew going to stick to the game plan and raise the gay from the dead?

I guess I'll have to wait and see.

[zyrlovesmizu]

y’know I respect a fan’s choice about how they want to view mizu but tiny ramble about it here. this isn’t any sort of discussion or ‘matter of fact’ essay, just a simple rant about headcannons about her being TRANS and her SEXUALITY.

Warning: extremely long.

Given the numerous limitations that would arise from traveling as a woman, I find it very difficult to understand why some people believe Mizu is transgender when it's obvious that she is hiding this information in order to survive. This was particularly true during the Edo period, when women were dehumanized and treated like objects because we only ever see them as a slave or working in a brothel (majority of the show at least). They were also seen having to depend on men for nearly everything, as demonstrated in the episode where the mother and daughter were left outside to freeze to death since her husband was not present to accompany them. Along with that subtle hints were presented to us that show how comfortable she is when in touch with her femininity like a few moments in the episode where she came back to Swords-father Eiji’s hut. Though, I can definitely see why people would label her as transmasc with the theory that she must’ve grown so accustomed to this sort of lifestyle, she’d perhaps just become transmasc in the later episodes. We’ll never know!

Next, not gonna lie, I’m insanely guilty of viewing Mizu as a bisexual women despite feeling that she is leaning more toward heterosexuality in terms of her sexuality. I have the biggest fattest crush on her so I have no problem stating how much I'm crying and wailing over this. Like c’mon, let's be real, I guarantee that 98% of simps are female, and I’m sure every single one of us has mentioned once that we can all treat her better than Mikio and Taigen. Speaking of Taigen, I HAVE to admit that him and Mizu do have the best chemistry compared to everyone in the show. It’s clear in the way she pulls him away from those shooting arrows, knocks him out becahse she fears for his safety if he follows, saving him from Fowler's castle even though she could have easily just left him to die and slain Fowler, etc. At first, I would’ve assumed she’d have trauma with men especially after Mikio’s betrayal which might’ve led her to stray away from any romantic attraction with men—or anybody in general. Honestly, I have dedicated my time to search for ANY hint (ok not rlly) that she might be attracted to women, but the only time I ever see her become flustered by one is when she appears to be taken aback by the prostitues she tried to ask for directions to the Shindo Dojo. Plus, there were only two occasions where she interacted with Akemi that people use to automatically ship them which is when she saw Akemi in her carriage (not sure of the specific name) and pinned her down in Madame Kaji's brothel. I can’t imagine them as a couple in later episodes, something I’m been dying to see. Though, it’s hard to determine what was running in her mind during the scene where they both stole glances at each other, especially since there was no sort of indication in her inner thoughts or emotions, so it’s normal to assume the above as well. (Despite that, I’m still rooting for AT LEAST bisexual Mizu because for the love of god and for the sake of all of the gay women here, PLEASE. /j)

I may make jokes about these headcannons like playfully hating on the TaiMizu ships. All in all, I’m sure the fans are mature enough to understand that these are meant to be lighthearted jokes and that people interpret a character and show in various ways and it’s normal! Even if I can’t comprehend the theory or feel as though it is a little too complicated/really negotiable, remember to support what you want, ship what you want, make whatever headcannons, nobody’s stopping you! Don’t be too afraid to just announce what you feel about the show. All I ask is to avoid SERIOUSLY cancelling someone just because of their own feelings and opinions. In the end, they’re stilll fictional characters (😞😞) who have no sort of physical form of any sort so do whatever, as long as it isn’t really THAT problematic in a sense (e.g. romanticising rape), go for it.

(Sorry for bringing her sexuality into this, I’m aware of how the show is definitely not centering on this and not every single thing has to be LGBTQ-related but I noice it’s something constantly brought up in the fandom. As someone whose phrasing and essay writing skills suck, I’m still learning bit by bit about how the world works in terms of differing views on things. I may not support your idea of a character but I RESPECT it! If I came off as rude, I’m sorry, remember it’s just my random midnight thoughts🙏)

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

aita/wibta for NOT breaking up with my bf ?

i'm not sure if the title is phrased weirdly, bare with me. my bf and i are both 18, he is cis M & i am FTM (relevant).

My bf and i are both currently in first year uni, both living at home due to high cost of living in our country (also everywhere else lol). We met about halfway through highschool, and were friends for a while before getting together. we are coming up on two years together in a couple months, and have not really had any major bumps in our relationship. we see eachother i would say 1-2x per week, with both of us living at home and being broke it gets a little challenging sometimes but we call most nights and generally we make it work. Also worth noting that I am my bf's first everything, down to his first kiss, while he is not really this for me. this is the longest relationship i have been in (probably because i'm 18 lol), but not at all the first. however, the only "serious" relationship i have had outside of of him, aside from just casual stuff, was very abusive & toxic, so i do sort of see us on equal footing as neither of us has ever been in a normal, functional relationship before.

Now, the issue: while we are both currently living at home, i see this as a very temporary arrangement and something i am counting down the days until i can get out of. while living with my family is not abusive or anything, it is just very straining as i am not very close with them, and also cannot transition while living at home. as previously mentioned i am ftm, and while my mom is tolerant it would just put even more stress on the relationship if i were to start changing physically while living at home or even asking her to use different pronouns for me and is just something i prefer to leave until i'm not 100% reliant on her. that being said my dysphoria causes me very intense depression and without getting too detailed, i don't know how much longer i can take living here and putting off any sort of meaningful transition outside of close/online friends calling me he.

my bf, however, plans to live at home at least until he graduates, which is six years away. i understand that this is a very normal thing, especially culturally (he is middle eastern + muslim, i am white + agnostic), but the issue is that his mother is, among many other things, extremely homophobic. she already hates me for reasons i'm not really sure of (my bf refuses to go into detail, i think to protect me, but i have seen extremely graphic and nasty texts about me by name on his phone and have been told by him that he doesn't even mention me around the house or else she gets extremely upset, though she is always extremely nice to me the few times we have interacted), but anyways, me transitioning while he is still living at home would be essentially putting him in legitimate danger.

my bf does not like to think about this, which i understand. it's hard enough dealing with what i get from my family, and that is absolutely nothing compared to the fact that everyone he knows from his culture/religion beleives he should be dead just because he is gay (i know, as does he, that there are queer muslims. but they do not exist openly in his personal community). but the problem is that anytime i adress to him that the idea of waiting until we are in our mid-twenties for me to even think about transitioning is a really big issue for me he basically refuses to talk about it and just says that "it will work out". on top of the transitioning thing i just generally don't want to be twenty-five (the age he has told me is when he plans to move out) and still having to cancel dates last minute because my boyfriend's mom was in a bad mood and decided he's not allowed to go out tonight. i know this is how life is for many people and they learn to deal with it! and i respect them very much! but it is genuinely my nightmare. i understand why he cannot/does not want to cut himself off from his family, especially since his dad lives overseas and is extremely wealthy so therefore paying his entire tuition out of pocket. i'm just saying it's not a lifestyle that meshes well with my future plans.

this is where the asshole part comes in: my bf genuinely thinks that we are going to spend the rest of our lives together. this started with small comments, things like alluding to the idea of our potential future kids (i love kids and raising my own is genuinely my end goal in life, something he knows just because i am very open about it), or talking about our future apartment/house, but now is basically just a constant conversation in our relationship. i try not to feed into it, but i also feel badly responding to his sweet comment when i point out a house i like on the street about how we'll buy it one day with something about how i don't ever see that happening. i generally just respond neutrally, but i will admit i get caught up in the fantasy sometimes and contribute to it as well.

he is such a lovely guy with a beautiful heart and i do really adore him, and it's not a situation where i don't want to spend the rest of my life with him. to be honest, that's the dream. i love him with everything i have and i would literally do anything for him. the problem is just that when he talks about this future together all i can picture is all the million ways our relationship is doomed to implode.

but we are happy right now, because me moving out of my family home is not something that is going to be possible for another 1-2 years, so none of those issues are something that are going to come up right now. i just forsee them being pretty much impossible obstacles between us and spending the rest of our lives together down the line. but i have this nagging feeling in the back of my mind that even though i want more than anything to be with him forever, the fact that i don't remotely beleive it's something that will actually work out still constitutes as leading him on.

so, am i the asshole for staying with him, because we are happy right now and these issues are not going to be relevant for another 1-2 years, and a solution might somehow present itself in that time? or is the right thing to do to just leave now, and rip off the bandaid?

What are these acronyms?

[vegasandhishedgehog]

Just a non-comprehensive list of all the things P'Jojo touched on throughout the entirety of The Warp Effect:

The harm of forcing teens to promise absolute abstinence from sex while not providing space for safe and open discussions about it

Some people have a strong sense of their sexuality/gender identity. Others don't

Even guys who seem like good ones can do horrible things and be unaware. They are not required to be forgiven no matter how guilty they feel

Being single by choice is not shameful

Fwb is not shameful either

No one has any right to expect more out of a relationship when you have communicated what you are up for up front

Female friendship is a beautiful, wonderful thing, why would we pit so many bad bitches against each other when they're cooler as friends?

Nonsexual kinks are valid and with the right person can make for a beautiful relationship

There are several methods for pregnancy and it's important to discuss things with your donor (if you've chosen one personally)

Listen to your partner! It is actually possible to be together for a decade and still be unaware of something they like/dislike!

You can be forgiven for being shitty in high school but that is not up to you, it's only up to the person you have wronged

Always know the age of whoever you're talking to so you don't accidentally sleep with a minor

Fatphobia and transphobia have never been cool

Trauma hurts and the journey to work through it is difficult. It's not wrong to want to reconcile with someone and find that you can't. It's not wrong to try to push past it numerous times. It is not your fault someone ruined what should be a good experience for you

Nonsexual intimacy is valid and the right partner will work with you to understand your needs

The choice to have children is a really big one and no it should not be an excuse to keep the relationship together. The choice not to doesn't always have to break it up either

Abortion is a personal matter and should be done safely and legally

STDs have all sorts of origins and are an important matter to address in terms of being polyamorous or even going from one partner to the next. They are also not a reason to feel shame and are simply a matter of getting proper treatment and abstaining from sex while healing. Straight couples can get them, it isn't just a gay stereotype

Anyone can have a romantic relationship and not have sex

Parenting from afar isn't being responsible, but it is still possible to create a relationship with your estranged child

Dick size is nothing to be concerned about - you can find someone who enjoys a sexual relationship with you no matter what

It is so important to see your doctor. If that doctor makes you uncomfortable, though, you should be fine to leave and go somewhere else

Gay does not mean pedophile and it's important for you and your children to know the difference because there are gay teachers and coaches who have enough on their shoulders

Cheating doesn't have to include anything physical if you're seeking pleasure from someone who is not your partner and have not discussed such things with your partner or the person you cheat with

Sex work should not be criminalized and more of us need to standing up for the rights of sex workers

Masturbation is normal and doesn't have to be treated as sad or pathetic

Cishet people can be amazing allies. You can have your group of gays, lesbians, bisexuals, and trans people with a bunch of them included and it can be a fabulous group

Casting agents that don't allow for body and gender diversity don't deserve their job

The show gave us a whole PSA on pelvic exams????? HELP??????

ALWAYS PRACTICE SAFE SEX NO MATTER WHAT YOUR AGE, ORIENTATION, OR IDENTITY IS - ALWAYS HAVE A PROPER DISCUSSION AND STICK TO WHAT EVERYONE CONSENTS TO. ALWAYS

I swear I'm still missing stuff but everything that The Warp Effect said is so special to me

[thelittleliars]

Surprise (3/4)

Warnings: Fluff; a bit of angst and nfsw

Words: 2.6K

Summary: You being a gay mess around Natasha

A/N: Part 3 is finally here!!! I didn't proofread it so there might be mistakes. If you want to be added or get removed from the tag list just let me know! Part 4 will also be the final chapter in this series so enjoy!!

[Part 1: Silence ; Part 2: Second Chance ; Part 4: Survive]

Hell broke loose after thanksgiving. Some kind of mutated virus spread, most of the Avengers were immune since they had already had different DNA but you normal people hit it hard. Natasha, Kate, Yelena and you apparently came in contact with the virus and had to move to a secluded facility on the compound’s ground. You four were in isolation, each one of you alone in a room with a glass front. You didn't know if Clint and Scott had to do this in their own homes too. Those poor kids would see this cruelty of a virus.

Natasha rebelled against being in a room alone, she wanted to be in yours, she had to continue fixing the mess she created but the agents who also were to watch us twenty four seven didn't let her. 

It was around the 9th day when Natasha exploded, she couldn't stand not being able to see and touch you when both of you were only separated by a thin wall. "GET ME OUT OF HERE! JUST PUT ME IN Y/N'S ROOM!" She started to bang on the glass hard, it was no use though, the glass was solid. 

Even though you couldn't see her, you heard her yelling and banging against the glass. "Nat, calm down." You tried to get to her but that was also no use. Hearing your voice made her even more desperate to be moved to you. The itch inside of Natasha would only stop the second she could hug you. 

"Please," she pleaded. "Let me continue this isolation with my wife." All attention was on Natasha now. She just called you her wife, every single part of your body felt like it was on fire, the burning desire of being her wife was suddenly the only thing in the world that you wanted. You knew you had feelings for Natasha, you suspected it during the time apart before you realized it on thanksgiving.

"Ms Romanoff, we have no record of your apparent marriage with Y/N Y/L/N." An agent who worked here to monitor us, told that Natasha. She was quick to correct him that it was Mrs Romanoff. "I'm sorry Mrs Romanoff, without any document we can't let you-"

"Alright you got me! We're only engaged but the wedding would have been in a couple of days. I'd like to think her as my wife already." If you didn't know Natasha from the inside out then you'd have believed her right there. Hell you actually believed her for a fracture of a second because how convincing she sounded. In all the years you've known her, you never once saw her using her sweet talk skills, not only did it impress you hugely but something inside of you shifted. You found her actions very sexy.

The second she was brought into your room, you avoided eye contact at all costs since you're a bit embarrassed about the way you just thought about her. Natasha was also quiet as she sat down on your bed with a good amount of distance from you. Usually she'd have greeted you with a warm hug but she also was embarrassed, just about how impulsive she acted and what she said to get to you. The black widow didn't know what came over her.

You scooted over but only so far that your knees were touching, which made her  jump, she didn't expect the closeness. You saw it but ignored it, you started to dance your fingers along her thigh towards her hands that were resting in her lap. Once you reached them you took one of her hands in your own, her warmth spread over to you and you melted on the inside.

"So about that wife part.." You whispered while drawing tiny patterns on the back of her hand with your thumb. Natasha exhaled loudly, thinking of the best way to explain her actions. When she came up with nothing logical she simply shrugged. 

"I knew you're good at sweet talking and seducing since I all the stories but bloody hell, I didn't expect you to be THAT good." You finally turned your head to look at her when you saw she already looked at you intensely. Nat frees her hand from your hold, lifted it up to your face and traced the outline of your jaw. Your heart had never pounded so fast in your entire life as right there. She leaned closer to you, feeling her warm breath all over your face, while you wait for her next move. "You haven't seen nothing yet baby." She said it more quietly but in such a raspy way. You sat there frozen and errored with a gay panic rushing through you. When she leaned back and saw the look on your face, a huge grin broke out. "This was just a preview."

"Just because you know I'm gay now doesn't mean you're allowed to cause gay panics!" The words stumbled out of you fast. Your mind was still racing with thousand of thoughts, it was even worse than your nightly routine of overthinking.

"Just don't fall in love with me." The red head winked and you honestly didn't know if she was serious or just teasing you.

"Afraid that I can't control myself around you if I fall for you?" You shot back with sudden confidence. 

"Darling, nobody can control themself around me. I mean just look at me." She cockily told you. 

"Then stop flirting with me and we'll be both fine." Deep inside you knew that you'd end up falling in love if Natasha would continue flirting. 

"Whatever.“ She rolled her eyes before bumping her should into you to keep everything light, then brought up a story you didn't know yet in hope to continue to fix the riff she caused. You knew it wasn't much but it still was the beginning of trusting each other again and a way to strengthen your bond. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Later that day there was a bit more commotion from the agents monitoring us. You didn't pay it any attention, your concentration was completely on the book in your hands, it was a new thriller you bought recently. The only time you actually looked up was when you heard someone saying your nickname. You made eye contact with non other than one of your old flames, she and all the other old flames of your knew your status of being in the closet and thankfully they kept that secret with them. 

"Agent Holm!" You exclaimed with excitement. "It's so nice to see you again, it's been too long."

"You know you can call me Leyla so please do that." She smiled at you, thinking to herself that it had been way too long to meet again. "Well, you're one of the unlucky ones who contracted with the virus huh?" 

You stood up from the bed you sat on when you read your book, now walking towards Leyla who stood at the glass front. Then you decided to sit on the ground with crossed legs. "As you already know, the universe and my body loves to attracted every kind of shit." 

Natasha, who was working out, came out of her trance when she heard you talking to someone. She didn't recognized the brunette you were talking to, the woman seemed familiar to her but could not match a name to the face and that irritated her. You seemed so free and happy to talk to the brunette, and with the way you looked at her.. Natasha was literally fuming with jealousy that the second you laughed at something the agent said, something inside of her just snapped. 

"So how come you two get to share a space but not these two?" Leyla pointed behind her towards Kate and Yelena, who were in separated rooms. 

"Perks of being best friends?" You hoped you were convincing enough but also knew that your reason was weak. 

"And they were roommates!!!" She said in fake shock. You blushed profusely, trying to hide it by looking down and also shaking your head fast to deny her claims. "No no no, Stop. It isn't like that!"

"Then please enlighten me!" She smirked at you, still loved teasing the heck out of you.

"I-I-I can't explain how but she convinced one of the agents to let her isolate with me. It also only happened earlier today!" You looked over your shoulder to where Natasha was last training but she wasn't there anymore, in fact she was nowhere to be seen. But then she came out of the bathroom wearing only shorts and a black bra, a small white towel was hanging around her neck that fell right down towards her boobs. Your eyes widened at the sight of her, a fire inflamed in you and heat rushed in more than one place. You felt pathetic in how easy she suddenly affects you. 

"It isn't like that." Agent Holm mocking the  words you said a minute made you finally look away. You mumbled a small fuck off which she laughed off. "If you haven't made a move on her then I definitely will."

"Well then shoot your shot." You basically dared her. She raised her eyebrows before putting her left arm up to the glass and leaned against it. "Hey Romanoff!" 

Natasha looked to you guys, wondering what the agent could want from her. "Yes?" Leyla pointed towards you, "This hot shot wants to spar with you."

You shook your head in denial, sparring with Natasha in general was difficult already since both of you were very competitive but it'd be your death now with having feelings for her and her looking so incredible hot. Natasha purposely flexed her arms when she saw you looking over to her and if you weren't gay panicking before then you definitely were now. "Oh yeah?" Natasha's eyes twinkled mischievously, you knew how much trouble she'd cause if you didn't stop her. 

"Listen, Leyla was just kidding! She loves fucking with me." You turned back towards the brunette but she left you alone with your crush. Anxiously you spun back towards Nat, she had a teasing smile on her face that nearly made you fall to your knees. "Why would she want to fuck with you like this though?" The red head walked with slow and confident steps to you, only stopping when she was a few inches away. Then she leaned in, you felt her warm lips near your ear that made a shiver ran down your spine, her breath was also very warm and you didn't know how to function anymore. "I guess I know why." Her whispering was so soft that you thought you were currently dying in gayness. "It's fun and easy to fuck with you."

You stood there frozen even after Natasha walked a few steps back to give you some space. Leyla's voice snapped you out of it. She was still gone but you could hear her talking loudly in the distance.

"Someone send a medic to Y/N. I think she is having a huge gay panic." You hid your face in your hands after hearing Leyla telling the other agents. Nat giggled quietly to herself but you still heard her. It really was going to be a hellish long day. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After two weeks of quarantine and painful isolation, you all got checked out throughly by a doctor before being able to go back to the main compound area. The Avengers all greeted you back, hugs and kisses on your cheeks were given. Wanda was so nicely and made a warm welcome back meal. Everyone ate it with big smiles on their faces, praising Wands for her cooking skills and being thankful for making such great food. Afterwards Yelena and you went to your rooms while Kate went to the archer training room to practice her aim again and Natasha just simply disappeared without saying where she was going. 

It was around 6pm when you decided to get ready for bed and relax with a smutty book. You were relieved to have your privacy back, two weeks without any kind of sexual pleasure had you rilled up, it also didn't help that Natasha constantly walked around in a tank top and did her workout stretches right in front of you. You jumped into you bed and grabbed the book, the begining of the story was slow at first but got steamy fast. Before you could even reach the dirty part that you craved reading, a body plopped down next to you.

"Whatcha reading?" The freshly showered black widow asked you while she placed her hand on your stomach and nuzzling her whole body into your side.

Though you were extremely frustrated that you couldn't even get to the start of fucking yourself, it washed away by all the embarrassment you were feeling of getting caught reading smut. "Nothing." It came out of you too fast, Natasha only wanted to make a bit of small talk before falling asleep but your quick nothing got her curious. "Y/N, what's the book about?" 

"Sapphic love." More like sapphics making love but she didn't need to know that. Natasha immediately knew that you weren't telling her everything so she was going after the book herself. You squealed and tried your best to hide the book but she simply sat on your lower stomach and somehow got ahold of both of your wrists and held them above your head. The book was in her free hand and she opened it easily to read things out loud from a random page. 

"You couldn't wait for Ella's finger to enter you. The imagination alone had you wet, your underwear was soaking and it clinged to your body in way that made you eager to remove it." Nat's green eyes went wide, she absolutely didn't expect this kind of stuff. "I-"

"Let's just forget this ever happened, okay?"

"This is how you get off?" She let go of your wrist but didn't make a move to get off your body.

"Duh! It's obviously better than watching porn." 

"Why don't you just ask Wanda like almost everyo-?" "What?" You stared at her in shock. Was this why everyone was always THAT satisfied after they bragged about the sex they 'just' had. "Wanda's magic is heavenly. Her mist makes you feel so vulnerable and kisses all of you sensitive spots and when it penetrates you.. god, it's an orgasm you'll never forget."

"Now I have a vivid image in my head of Wanda fucking you and the others with her magic.. thanks." You shut your eyes in hope of loosing that image. "You're welcome." 

Natasha rolled off you in one move, laying next to you again and closing her eyes too. Both of you wish each other a good night before quickly falling asleep. 

It was a couple days after the smut book incident when you woke up extremely sweaty and disoriented. After a few seconds you realized that you were drenched in sweat, your clothes were wet and your mattress was moist. Panic immediately rised inside of you, it consumed you so much that you almost emptied your stomach the second you stood up. You got up and walked slowly to your bathroom with the last strength you had. The sight of yourself in the mirror shocked you, an extremely pale- almost ghostly white version of you stood there and stared back. "Jarvis, call Nat." 

"Calling Natasha now." The A.I. told you in it's human-robotic voice and it didn't take long before you heard her calling your name.

"Nat, I don’t feel so good." It was the last thing you got out before everything went black. 

Tags: @janashstorm , @marvelwomen-simp , @wifeofnatasharomanoff , @lizlil , @how-to-disappearrr , @wandanats-goodgirl , @natsxwife

[noturlondonboy]

Werewolf. Were… Wednesday?

Part 1

Pairing: Wednesday Addams x Enid Sinclair

Werewolf Wednesday AU

A/N: I really love this concept so I’m excited to see if others like it too. Enjoy!

Enid had a bad feeling about today as soon as she woke up. For starters, it was her actual alarm that had her rousing instead of Wednesday's intense gaze inches from her face, and that in itself had her mood a bit jilted.

Breakfast proved another point. Yoko was sick and therefore absent to indulge in Enid's latest gossip, and Bianca wasn't exactly very chatty. This left the werewolf with Ajax and a very sleepy Xavier. The two boys were leaning into each other and giggling softly every time the artist would start to doze off against his boyfriend's shoulder, only for one of Ajax's snakes to poke at him through the beanie.

Damnit. Enid missed Wednesday. She couldn't handle being single in front of all this cute gay shit by herself. Where had her roommate gone? It was unusual for her to miss breakfast. It was the only meal they tended to share and the girl hated when her schedule got messed up, even a little.

It started raining as soon as she stepped foot outside.

"Great." Enid walked quickly across the quad in a mess of grumbling and wet blonde hair, and she shook herself out best she could before making her way to her first class of the day- potions.

Another thing about today being an absolute thumbs down. Enid sucked at this class.

But she perked up immediately once she walked through the door and spotted Wednesday in her usual seat, her soft squeal earning a confused smile from Divina in the back row. Wednesday heard her as well and turned to watch as Enid skipped her way to their desk and slid into her spot, grinning at her dark friend.

"Hi, Wednesday," Enid whispers excitedly, trying to be mindful of the fact that class was technically starting. Wednesday is just looking at her with her normally blank expression, but then the neutrality seems to lessen and she almost looks amused.

"You're soaking wet, Enid. You're going to have our room stinking of wet dog."

Enid beams at her. "Yeah probably."

That gets an entire eyebrow raise. "Have you fallen ill? You're happier than what I'm accustomed to and it's making me want to stab Xavier."

"Hey!" Xavier goes ignored from behind them.

Enid shakes her head but does make an effort to ring out her hair a bit more so she doesn't accidentally smack Wednesday in the face with a damp pink strand. "Nope, just happy to see my roomie after missing her all morning." Today was starting to feel a little less terrible already.

Something strange crosses over Wednesday's face but she's interrupted before she can respond. "Good morning kiddos!" Mr. Faroshti claps his hands to get everyone's attention, his fangs glinting as he grins widely.

That was a dangerous look when it came to him.

"We're doing something a little special today, and it's gonna be partner work- so if you're not happy with your table mate... deal with it." He shrugs and walks to his desk as a couple of students groan. Xavier and Ajax are making kicked-puppy eyes at each other from across the room. Enid just nudges Wednesday with her shoulder and wiggles around a bit.

Even if she was more likely to blow something up than not, Wednesday was always patient and willing when helping her as long as she was actually trying to stay focused. Everything would be fine.

Mr. Faroshti passed around a medium sized box to each desk and instructed them all to open it and get started on what he was only now calling a "mystery serum." Wednesday seemed rather bored of the activity, right up until she was halfway through reading the instructions and gave an actual smile.

"Good, it involves blood. That puts me at ease."

Enid grimaced, looking warily down at the open box and what could see of vials and containers full of whatever they were going to use. "Of course it does."

Wednesday almost starts to hum as she busies herself with carefully removing all of the ingredients, handing the instructions over for Enid to read. "You'll be fine, puppy. I'll handle the blood."

Enid doesn't know how to react to the name or the girl's thoughtfulness, so she just does as she's told and ignores the glow on her cheeks.

Halfway through the potion, Wednesday excused herself to the restroom and levels a stare that has Enid sitting ram-rod straight. "Get the next two steps done while I'm gone, they're relatively simple. A pinch of whatever animal essence is in that sealed bag, and a few drops of liquified bone marrow. Stir how it shows you." And then she's gone, her braids swishing lightly behind her.

Enid blinks, bringing herself back to the task at hand. The remaining ingredients are spread out over the table around their mini mixing cauldron, and she located the animal bag and bone marrow before starting to panic. Each box held a different animal essence for each potion, and it was just by chance that the one given to her and Wednesday contained a tuft of wolf fur. The problem was that it looked quite a bit more than a pinch.

But it wouldn't have anything in the box that didn't need to go in the potion, right? Enid looks at it quizzically for a moment before shrugging and dropping the entire bundle into the concoction. The fur sizzles for a moment, then dissolves into the steaming liquid, leaving it a deep brownish red.

The bone marrow goes in without a hitch (ignoring the fact that a fourth of it splashed out onto Enid's hands-it burned like hell for a moment) and then the werewolf carefully stirs the potion until it smooths out. Wednesday appears moments later, surveying the scene.

"You didn't catch your hair on fire. Good."

Enid scowls as her roommate sits back down. "That was one time!"

Wednesday glances at her, lips twitching. "Did you finish the next two steps?"

"I- yeah."

There's a nod of acknowledgment, and Wednesday takes over, measuring and pouring the rest of the ingredients in. Once the shimmering gold liquid is contained in a vial, Mr. Faroshti comes around from where he was helping a struggling Ajax to take a look at it.

"Excellent work, girls! That was done in record time," he beams, holding the potion up to the lantern lighting to peer at it. He hesitates, then frowns, turning the vial this way and that to get a better look. "That's strange..." He carefully holds it close to his nose and wafts the scent closer to him for a second. Mr. Faroshti visibly holds back a gag. "Hoooh boy, that's a strong Werewolf smell. And I think the gold shading might be a little off."

Wednesday's eyebrows shoot up on her head, and she turns to a nervous Enid. "Enid, how much of the animal essence did you put in?"

Enid feels the need to shrink in on herself, tugging anxiously at her damp hair. "Um, well, there wasn't very much of it so..."

"Enid."

"Ok, I added all of it!"

Mr. Faroshti whistles and shakes his head. "Yeah, that's why it looks weird. Go ahead and pour it back in and water it down to balance it out, and I'll take another look at it." He hands the vial back to Enid, who takes it sheepishly with her rain-wet fingers.

And promptly drops it as the glass slips out of her hands.

Said vial crashes onto the desk and shatters into a mess of glimmering gold liquid...

Right onto Wednesday.

Everyone in the room freezes, including Wednesday. She had her blazer off and her sleeves rolled to her elbows today, which meant the potion had coated her arms and splashed to splatter over her chest and neck, dripping onto her skirt. Her eyes were wide and she had her hands up off the desk, as if she didn't quite know what to do with herself. Enid was staring at her roommate with a horrified expression.

She's going to kill me.

But Wednesday turned to Mr. Faroshti, grinding her teeth. "Sir, what kind of potion were we making?"

He swallowed tightly, red eyes ping-ponging over the mess in the hopes of properly assessing the situation. "It was a temporary transfiguration solution. But it was too potent and it got onto your skin..." He shook his head and seemed to come back to life, getting the attention of the other students. "Everyone, Bianca is in charge for a short time while I take Wednesday to the infirmary. Please be very careful when reading the instructions, and leave your work inside the mixing cauldrons for now, until I'm back. Nobody touch the spill."

He hurriedly had Wednesday up on her feet and rushed her out the door, and Enid gaped after them, chest feeling tight. What was that potion going to do to her friend?

Ajax and Xavier slid onto her bench on either side of her to console the werewolf, but she barely heard them through the ringing in her ears. She just looked down at her now dry hands and tried to keep breathing.

Bad day it was.

[cymk8]

Any thoughts (happy ones and/or angst ones👀) on a shadowlach au where they knew each other when they were younger in baldurs gate and then meet again during the game?

I am vibrating out of my skin.

The thing I love about this au, which I have thought about A LOT actually, is that it isn't too impossible — I actually think it can even be canon, because either way *Shadowheart would have had every experience with her wiped from her memory.*

ANYWAY time to be Gay™:

They probably met a few times as teens, probably from intersecting assignments as a bodyguard and a Sharran in training

Shadowheart is implied to have been planted in the city as a noble and trained to blend in with high society (her prissy little accent is telling LMFAO) (SIDE NOTE: it would also be absolutely hilarious that she might even have met Astarion this way or even Wyll as a bratty little shit)

Karlach most likely met her during assignments where she would be responsible for anything from cargo to actually being a guard/attendant for a while

While I want the DELULU to take the reins and say she was a personal guard to her once...I think it's funnier to think that they simply ran into each other enough times to recognize the other; I'd imagine Gortash being especially eager to suck up to nobility

They would have a rather sweet relationship — I'm sure the dashing figure Karlach might have cut would have Awakened Things™ inside of Shadowheart (I mean if I saw a woman throw a couple of sacks of potatoes over her shoulders like it was nothing...[gunshots])

They probably had simple meetings when they happened to work nearby, maybe a lunch or a silly little adventure — nothing much, but just two kids being afforded to feel normal outside the stuffy roles they had

I think Shadowheart would have been the type to sneak Karlach food or things like pretty, girlish accessories that Karlach expressed interest in but couldn't get or felt uncomfortable/guilty in wanting to express herself with — and probably influenced Shadowheart to continue to be way too nice as a Sharran even with her memory wiped

At the end of it, their lives took them through different paths. Karlach might have held on to their memories together for comfort, the name slipping through her mind the longer she spent in the Hells (not that it mattered — I'm sure Shadowheart would have been under a pseudonym)...and Shadowheart would have simply forgotten

ANYWAY. It makes me fucking emo because the 'first' meeting between them would've felt like seeing someone familiar in a way they couldn't explain. And they would never know why that might be