#I'm serious - it is hilarious. I'm not even mad

[ccycloneblogging]

When an AI voice clearly nails the tone you were trying to achieve.

AKA - I found this page on YouTube and the voice was so bad that it's honestly funnier than anything I could have come up with.

[genericpuff]

We've Finally Come Full Circle <3

The union of mouth to tail in the great Ouroboros is complete.

(FP SPOILERS AHEAD!!!)

No no, this isn't cause for anger. I'm not upset or anything about this.

I'm flattered.

Because if this isn't a coincidence and she's reading Rekindled and she mimicked my little cartoon chibi heads in her newest FP episode... Rachel is supposed to be the #1 creator on the platform with a series that's marketed as a "worldwide sensation"; and she has to resort to ripping off foefiction - created for the purpose of improving upon her foundation that she built in 2018 - in lieu of utilizing her own ideas?

That's pretty damn cool. Disappointing because the #1 creator on the platform shouldn't be doing this, but still, pretty cool, you got me. Well played Rachel. I'm not gonna "clapback" at this, I'm not gonna "get revenge" through any sort of quip towards LO in Rekindled because I've already accomplished that. I've already proven my point. Every time I update Rekindled, I prove my point and "clapback" through my own efforts to create something new out of what you started but couldn't finish. And if this was intentional, then we've truly come full circle in a way that I can only smile at, because it's delightful.

Thank you for featuring a little piece of what I've contributed to this community in your work. I'm still not entirely convinced that this was intentional or satisfied if it was, I'm still waiting to see a box of generic off-brand cereal dumped down the toilet or hurled across the room, but this will suffice. The show goes on and so will we ( ´ ∀ `)ノ～ ♡

[captainjacklyn]

I'm not mad ! I literally find it funny but :

I feel like everyone already forgot about roro like 💀-

The event is over lemme just-

I'm sorry but THIS IS KILLING ME-

he just went *poof*

"Alright ! We used him, now lets throw this shit away cause he ain't gonna appear anywhere no more."

Bonus :

Not me laughing cause Google just gave up on this man too ✋💀-

[todayisafridaynight]

SORRY I MEANT TO FOLLOW UP EARLIER but I got caught up in talking about The One And Only Thing I've ever added to Jo's backstory and gotten invested in so I lost track of time 😭BUT NO YEAH GOING THROUGH THE LIST WAS A 10/10 EXPERIENCE... I just really enjoy your commentary and seeing your takeaways so I don't need anything In-Depth to have a good time, even just finding out what your faves are is pretty neat; as a guide I definitely think it sells the works while setting realistic expectations overall :] On That Note would love to hear your thoughts on the movie!

LMAO YOU'RE GOOD i wasn't expecting a follow up anyhow so it's alright :]

and im glad the list was enjoyable. i suppose LMAO AGAIN i tried not to go too much into things so my thoughts are relatively sparse (because rest assured i have PLENTY of notes on everything i've seen but i didn't want the thing to be 100 pages long (╯▽╰ ) ) but as long as it gets the job done then that's fine with me:)

OH BUTTHE MOVIE YAYAYA I WATCHED THE CORRECT ONE THIS TIME LMAOOO IT WAS EPIC definitely enjoyed it A LOT and was a really great way to end the series !! again i love the sound design and track and i esp loved the music that played when the team was working out how to sneak into the house of representatives (i've noticed that bitches LOVE acoustic guitars in this series and While Unexpected it works SOOOO good)

the whole Handcuff Bit with inoue still gets me like My Brother In Christ How Long Have You Worked Here BUT I ALSO GET IT. AND ALSO WHEN HE WENT TO ARREST OGATA AND OF COURSE DIDN'T HAVE ANY CUFFS... GIRL I DIED FR...

anyway 11/10 movie SOOO glad you directed me to it LMAO

[astaroth1357]

I have long wanted to write a headcanon where high demons have lesser forms, so take a walk with me on this:

Imagine that the brothers are fighting with each other and one of them takes a serious hit, like, somebody's left hook got them right in the jaw and it was brutal. They fall to the ground, stone cold, and... just. Poof into a tiny little critter. Like a verison of their familiar. And they can't retake human form until they've rested and healed their wounds.

I'm doing that.

Lucifer becomes this fat-ass, little peacock. He's like one of those rotund Chocobo from the Final Fantasy universe, you just want to pick him up and squeeze him but he's slightly too heavy for that. His feathers are black, save for the tail which have black, red, blue, and green markings. If something makes him "Poof!" then he'll hide away in the Castle because he refuses to let his brothers ever see him in that state. MC can visit him, though, and he'll coo and get all fluffy whenever they pet his tummy.

Mammon turns into a three-eyed raven, but not fat like Luci. He basically becomes a bigger verison of one of his familiars, he's about the size of an eagle. For being the second strongest he gets "Poof!-ed" rather often because he gets caught up in so many fights. Most of the time, he's just a bystander then some stray shot hits him and suddenly he's squawking everybody's ear off! Hilariously, he's arguably smarter in this form so when he's stuck as a bird, his grades actually improve (if anyone can read his actual chicken scratch penmanship).

Levi becomes a snake. Duh. He has similar markings along his back to the colorful scales on his neck in his demon form. He isn't even the length of your average scarf, so MC can drape him behind their neck easily and he doesn't get in the way. He's absolutely MISERABLE like this, though, because he has no hands to play games with. He can get extra clingy to people if he's feeling cold, but MC has to invite him to share their body heat because he's too shy to signal what he wants.

As much as Satan would love to be a cat, he becomes a little unicorn (Sorry, I didn't make the lore). He's about the size of one of those miniature horses, but don't be fooled. He will snap your kneecaps and he's at perfect height to rear-kick his brothers right in the crotch. His coat is black but his tail, mane, and the underside of his horn are all his signature green. If he every gets "Poof!-ed!" he's big mad, so he'll spend the entire time trying to kick and spear his brothers so they have to suffer along with him. He's the cause of a lot of chain "Poof!-ings."

Asmo becomes the smallest, cutest scorpion you ever did see. Well, as cute as scorpions can be. His whole body becomes hot pink and he has the biggest widdle eyes (think those jumping spiders who wear raindrops on their heads type energy). He's also venomous as all hell, so his brothers HAVE to make sure that they continously call him "small, cute, and adorable" lest they suffer a week's worth of paralytic toxin. He can fit the palm of a hand and makes MC tie a little bow around his tail so he doesn't feel too bad about being under-dressed.

Beel, unfortunately, becomes a fly. A big fly (by fly standards), but a fly nonetheless. You wouldn't even know that it's him if he weren't traffic cone orange. Literally everyone panics when he gets "Poof!-ed" because it would only take some bozo with a swatter to put an end to the sweetest brother... Belphie never lets Beel out of his sight and even has a tiny leash so he can keep track of him if they have to go out. He's a lot easier to feed like this, but everyone has to resist that automatic urge to smack him away from their dinner plates.

Belphie ironically has the largest lesser form out of his brothers. He's a cow, more specifically a bull, but there's nothing special about him aside from the navy fur. He is a full grown bull and he loves to lord it over the others if they all get "Poof-ed!" at once. Also, good luck getting him to do ANYTHING in this form. He is a bull. If he does not want to move, he will not be moving. Not even Beel can carry him like this. He's the only brother who doesn't mind getting "Poof-ed!" all that much because of it.

[stevieschrodinger]

Just imagine how put out Dustin would be. He's spent months and months working on Steve, trying to get him to come and play. It had been a personal, ongoing campaign. He used every trick and manipulation and wasn't above just outright whining about it. All he asks is Steve try it; just once.

Just imagine how put out he is when Eddie gets out of the hospital, and he asks Steve one time, and Steve says yes. But of course Dustin can't complain OUT LOUD, because he got what he wanted, didn't he? Steve's going to play.

Dustin makes this as absolutely painless as possible; Steve doesn't even see his character sheet until it's done. Dustin has him roll for stats. They talk about race and class. They talk about what skills his character should have...but he doesn't go into detail. he wants to make this fun for Steve, so he lets Steve pick whatever the hell he wants and when Steve calls his gnome Trip Hazard, Dustin doesn't even bitch about it.

Dustin corners Eddie ten minutes before their one shot starts, and explicitly tells him to let Steve get away with absolutely any and all bullshit. The goal here is that Steve comes back.

Of course Dustin has no idea that Eddie has been making heart eyes at Steve for literally years and fully intends to do that, anyway.

It's a one off, so Eddie has some fun with it. He's generous with the XP and everyone has two levels before lunch, excitedly choosing new skills and spells. After a mini boss battle they come across a hoard of treasure; some of it magical.

It's a free for all and everyone walks away with a fun new powerful toy for their character; Eddie's even pre made little cards with illustrations, descriptions, and the magical abilities of each item. He does a whole array, more than they need, but everyone gets one thing each.

Steve, hilariously, chooses a seven foot spear.

Eddie holds it together and does not laugh. He lets Steve do whatever he wants, and when Steve has a moment of madness and acts out his tiny gnome suddenly getting his spear stuck in every single doorway, everyone looses their shit.

The final battle though, that evening, rapidly because serious; an acid spewing black dragon. Everyone rolls initiative. The Dragon, with advantage, goes first, and the battle goes back and forth for several turns before, "the great beast raises itself onto it's back legs, mighty wings spread, so massive they fill the cavern," Eddie climbs up on his chair, spreading his arms demonstrably, "the dragon draws in a mighty breath...Will the Wise, your move."

The party uses their turn to attack, moving their little people on the board appropriately. Steve's turn comes and everyone looks at him..."I'll, ah, move, I think."

"Attack Steve!" Dustin encourages him.

Steve moves his little gnome, with hilariously oversized cardboard accessory, to directly in front of the dragon, the air in the room grows heavy, intent, "no attack...I set to receive a charge."

Every turns to look at Eddie, who frowns down at the map.

"It's on here," Steve volunteers the little card that came with his spear. "This counts, right? Double damage because it's magic, then setting to receive a charge is double damage again..."

Everyone looks back to Eddie again who, solemnly, frowns...then nods.

The dragon unleashes it's attack, everyone in the party taking damage. The dragon falls forward, aiming to land on all of it's feet again.

"Does that...work?" Steve asks hesitantly.

Eddie nods. The damage is so great when Dustin works it out, they have to borrow dice from Will to combine with Dustin's so Steve can roll them all together. The combination enough to fill his cupped hands.

Steve kills the dragon. Everyone is up, screaming and cheering.

Steve is the only one to notice when Eddie rolls damage; Trip Hazard is instantly killed by the crushing force of a dragons corpse.

Steve doesn't care, especially not when Eddie gets real close to whisper in his ear, "that was so fucking clever, I'm furious."

[vanwritesfan-fiction]

Watch What You Say

Anon Request: Hahahaha I rlly want a concept where reader gets pissed with jack about the captions of his Instagram stories he’s written lately lmao

Warnings: language, references to condoms lol

"Jackman."

Jack's head shot up to look at you as you entered your shared hotel suite. He was laying on the bed resting before his Vegas performance, and Urban and Cope were relaxing on the couch across the room.

"Ooh, you're in trouble." Cope teased Jack in a sing song tone of voice. The room could tell you were pissed about something, and while your boyfriend dreaded those times, it was pure entertainment for his friends.

"Dude, shut the hell up", Jack tossed one of the pillows from the bed in Cope's direction, but ended up hitting Urban square in the face instead. "I'm not even involved in this!" Urban yelled as he wrapped the pillow in his arms, shielding himself from your impending rage.

"Baby, what's wrong?" Jack sat up in the bed, throwing his feet off the side. You pulled out your phone and scrolled quickly to Jack's Instagram story.

"I wanna try a 1950s condom", you read his caption aloud, your face in a permanent scowl. Jack was always posting what you referred to as "dumb shit" on Instagram, and usually you found it funny, but lately his Instagram stories were just over the top. "And then you just had to post two photos of vintage condoms, didn't you?"

A smirk climbed on Jack's face; he thought it was hilarious, but it quickly dropped when you threw daggers at him. "What? I thought it was funny," he whispered under his breath but you heard every word.

"What the hell goes through your mind when you post?" Jack opened his mouth, but you held up a hand to stop him before he got a word out. "You know what? I don't even wanna know. You know my mom follows you on Instagram, right? And every time you post something, she texts me asking to explain what you mean. She wanted to know why they refer to you as 'Missionary Jack'." You placed your hands on your hips. Jack could tell you were serious, but if he was anything, he was an instigator.

"I mean, I can show her better than I can tell her." Jack shrugged nonchalantly. Urban snickered, but stopped when you snapped at him. Jack barely had a second to laugh at his own joke before you had snatched the pillow out of Urban's arms and were smacking him with it.

"I'M.PISSED.AT.YOU.AND.YOU'RE.MAKING.A.SLEEP.WITH.MY.MOM.JOKE?!?!" You pummeled him with the pillow with each word, Jack cowering away from you. "Babe, stop! I was kidding!" You ignored him, continuing to hit him to get out your frustration with something that wouldn't get you 25 to life.

"Enough!" Jack was stronger than you, and took the opportunity to take the pillow from you when you were starting to get tired. You huffed at him as he stood up, placing his hands on your hips. "I'm sorry, I'll tone it down with the Instagram posts, okay?" He tried to lean in for a kiss, but you face palmed him. "Come on, don't be like that."

You allowed him to give you a quick kiss on the lips. You could never stay mad at him for long. "You better."

"When was your mom born, babe?", Jack asked as you snaked your hands around his shoulders, playing with the curls at the nape of his neck. "Like 1975 or something, why?" You furrowed your brow at his question.

"Damn, I was hoping she would know someone who could help me start my vintage condom collection." Jack looked down at you, quickly seeing your face turn sour. You pushed him off of you, hard, making Jack clutch his chest. "Ow, fuck!"

"Don't be surprised if all of your shit is in the hallway when you get back from your show tonight, Jack!" You stormed out of the room, flipping him off as you left.

"I'm serious babe! It might be worth something one day!" Jack called out to you just before the door slammed shut. He plopped back on the bed and pulled out his phone again.

Knowing he was in the clear, Urban leaned over to Cope. "She terrifies me."

Cope nodded, his eyes wide. "Me too, man. Me too."

[stars-and-the-min]

☆ the wrong way to hard launch (6) | OP81

summary : oscar's girlfriend is a walking pr problem for literally everyone (including herself) social media au

pairing : oscar piastri x zhou!fem!singer!oc

a/n the highs (friends) and lows (exes) of life aka lina lore 👀 preface : i know nothing about nfl or american football so suspend ur beliefs if u happen to know a thing or two, also my amateur photoshopping skills are really improving from this

masterlist | last part | part 6 | next part

INSTAGRAM

logansargeant

liked by alex_albon and 142,394 others

logansargeant The long-awaited ultimate rematch tagged: selinabui and oscarpiastri

alex_albon Wait, why wasn't I invited?

selinabui ok captain america pack it up ↳ logansargeant @ selinabui Stay mad 😎 ↳ oscarpiastri @ selinabui Why would you challenge two professional racing drivers to a racing game? ↳ selinabui @ oscarpiastri i thought you loved me? ↳ oscarpiastri @ selinabui Ah but you love winners more 😏 ↳ logansargeant @ oscarpiastri Stop flirting in my comments???

cofrisy_f1 LOSCAR??? OSCALINA??? LOLINA???

beemiepie she chose the orange car 🥺🥺🥺 ↳ siera_mblanc @beemiepie a true papaya girlie 🧡🧡

cameliazzz just posted to their story

replies selinabui cami, did u or did u not insist u'd be fine 😭

lukaszhang the SLANDER??? didn't we have loads of fun???

aidan_ebass Touché Millie, see you soon?

eb_jonno sidenote: can you bring mochi on the plane? are there food restrictions?

oscarpiastri

liked by opeightyone and 121,983 others

oscarpiastri 次回まで trans: until next time

piastri_lina obsessed with this couple's dedication to never tagging each other

opeightyone Get 'em next year 💪

selinabui currently feeling like a 1930's housewife waiting for her husband to return from war ↳ cameliazzz @ selinabui HELLO NOT YOU PLAGARISING MY STORY??? FOR A GUY??? ↳ selinabui @ cameliazzz nooooo wifey i didn't mean like that :(((

TWITTER

lina !!! @EB_selina · 37m you've gotta be shitting me

NFL Jersey Numbers @nfljerseywatch · 1h Tennessee Titans RB Thomas Howard (@THowdy) is wearing number 24. Last worn by Kenny Vaccaro. #Titans

↳ kayla @luna_apocolypse · 34m no fucking way... i don't wanna jump to conclusions but... ↳ emme @flowersforcami · 32m he tweeted about it. girl- jump to those conclusions.

Thomas Howard @THowdy · 58m The move to the #Titans has been a huge change, and 24 has been a number close to my heart for many years, I'd consider it a lucky number for a lucky year 👊 ↳ liv is SEEING EB LIVE!! @olivielina · 23m eat shit and die i'm so fucking serious you have no right to wear her number ↳ kayla @luna_apocolypse · 22m hahaha (not) funny but april fools was last week say sike RIGHT NOW

fiona🩷 @fififorlina · 29m thinking about how tommy is playing with lina’s number i'm weak 😭 ↳ 🕯️manifesting EB3 🕯️@ linabelles · 13m no, we're absolutely not doing this, it's not sweet at all, do you even know how badly he treated lina? ↳ emme @flowersforcami · 11m there are tommy-supporting linami’s in this day and age???

oscalina real ?! @emptyginbottles · 39m lina watching her ex and cousin play/drive with her number be like:

↳ lila💚 @kasdanrights · 23m idk how to feel bc it's kinda hilarious that our little rockstar is slowly plaguing the sporting world with her number

lina !!! @EB_selina · 22m @LoganSargeant for my own mental health we're not going to talk for the next... 50 years ↳ Logan Sargeant @LoganSargeant · 8m I'm sorry? Did I do something wrong? ↳ lina !!! @EB_selina · 5m it's not you, it's just your countrymen (i'm generalising again)

MESSAGES

from the phone of selina bui

TWITTER

liv is SEEING EB LIVE!! @olivielina · 35m WHY IS EVERYONE FLOODING MY TL WITH T*MMY SHIT ↳ liv is SEEING EB LIVE!! @olivielina · 34m lina is one of the only music girlies who is SO SO SO vocal about how much she HATES her ex and you still can't listen to her??? ↳ liv is SEEING EB LIVE!! @olivielina · 34m not just with her music but as in SHE OUTRIGHT HATES HIS GUTS ON MAIN she COULD NOT possibly make it clearer that she would rather shoot herself in the head than ever consider getting back together with him ↳ liv is SEEING EB LIVE!! @olivielina · 33m i'm so tired can't you just let the woman be happy with oscar ↳ abby <3 @devilvows · 17m liv, baby, i think you need to change ur name to 'defense minister of linami nation'

INSTAGRAM

selinabui

liked by oscarpiastri and 139,204 others

selinabui some weird second string loser who's not worth mentioning

cameliazzz thought the message was 'let everyone know i'm doing ok'? ↳ selinabui @ cameliazzz message appropriately sent :)

oliviarodrigo AAHHH stunning as always 💝💝 ↳ selinabui @ oliviarodrigo watch out, the literal moment we're in the same city i'm hunting u down (my favourite american 🥺)

oscarpiastri Haha not me though right :) �� selinabui @ oscarpiastri idk maybe...?

TWITTER

lina !!! @EB_selina · 1h this is really hindering my enjoyment of 'so american' ↳ Oscar Piastri @ OscarPiastri · 1h I reaaally hate to break it to you but I think you might be the American in this relationship ↳ lina !!! @EB_selina · 53m take that back rn i'm serious ↳ Oscar Piastri @ OscarPiastri · 49m Which one of us has lived in California for half a decade? 🤔

↳ abby <3 @devilvows · 37m can you imagine waking up to that face? oscar piastri, you lucky bitch

↳ lila💚 @kasdanrights · 2h oscar piastri i was not familiar with your game ↳ lila💚 @kasdanrights · 2h selina, i understand you now, i get it now, truly i do, hooooly

oscalina real ?! @ emptyginbottles · 1h i think the entire empty bottles fandom and oscalina shippers trying to cleanse the tl by posting some of the most jaw-clenching, hottest pictures of oscar and lina is so funny ↳ oscalina real ?! @ emptyginbottles · 1h the best part is that it's actually working and also so many more empty bottles fans are realising how unfairly attractive oscar piastri is

INSTAGRAM

selinabui Seoul, South Korea

liked by oscarpiastri and 138,958 others

selinabui heal my s(e)oul tagged: cameliazzz, blublublupi, and lukaszhang

lukaszhang i thought i specifically asked you not to post that ↳ selinabui @lukaszhang i actually wasn't gonna but then you told me not to so obviously i had to

oscarpiastri 🧡 ↳ selinabui @ oscarpiastri any other fucking colour heart i beg ↳ oscarpiastri @ selinabui You know I'm contractually obligated

emptybottlos i'm convinced they agreed to go on tour just to travel, visit friends and eat a bunch of authentic food

ceciliapham someone else is in seoul rn 👀 ↳ marie_h.sb @ceciliapham in what world do you think your gonna see lina and chris yamada in the same room again?

✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:

taglist @ririyulife @ashy-kit @fionaschicken @namgification @cherry-piee

[carcarcraziiv2]

Heartsteel Ezreal Boyfriend HC's

On a side note, I'm using wet--milk's gifs on like all of these wanna say thanks for clippin good gifs person!

~To the cute green haired Ezreal~

~Floof, mostly just floof honestly -shrug- as always enter at your own risk!~

Ezreal is the kind of guy who does not G.A.F about PDA. He will kiss you, hug you, smother you in affection no matter where you are. Ironically, he was shy when the two of you first met, but that flew out the window as soon as he realized how amazing you treat him and how you accepted him so purely. Contrary to his general attitude, if anyone starts giving you any extra attention that makes him or you uncomfortable, he will confront them. He will be brave and walk up to them and tell them who he is to you and make sure they know not to f around. "You're so cuuute! Come here. -Hug-. Honestly, y/n, I never want to let you go." "Is there a reason you're talking to my partner? Carry on, see what happens."

Ezreal is THE joker. He acts shy a lot of the time, but he is a huge goof ball. He will constantly be scheming with his bandmates for a silly prank to pull on you. As a matter of fact, Ezreal and Sett have pulled quite a few pranks on you. They never let you in on the ones against Kayn and Aphelios though, and certainly it can't be because they don't want you to know all their secret plans, right? On the contrary, it is hilarious to prank him especially to scare him, because he has the best reactions! Usually, you team up with his other victims to get back at him, and it makes it all the more worth it. "Hehehe, sorry my love. We just thought it would be funny. Please don't be mad at me? Awh, I knew you couldn't stay mad at this face!"

Ezreal is... an attention seeker. All his life he has been striving to be in the spotlight, and that is no different when it comes to you. He will be attached to you by the hip wherever you go. He even took it upon himself to steal some of "his" posters from his bandmates rooms and hang them up in your bedroom, so you always see him even if you aren't together. If you ignore him to rile him up, be prepared for an onslaught of tackle-cuddles and kisses when it's just the two of you. He will also take it upon himself to shower you in attention. When you dress up for him, for example, he will lower his glasses and look at you through his lashes with his jaw dropped. He is your ultimate hype man. "Do you like them? Yeah, I used to be in a band before Heartsteel, can you believe it? What? No, I'm not taking them down!" "Come here, why have you been ignoring me? -1000 tiny kisses all over your face- You have no choice but to pay attention to me now!"

Ezreal's kisses are sporadic, chaotic, and messy- but not in a bad way. He has this way about him that makes him almost seem desperate when he kisses you, like he's a man starved. Sometimes he will even push you against the wall, groaning into your mouth when you finally let him in. He will back away from you, pulling at his hair and biting his lip to show you how much you affect him. On the other hand, if you take the lead he will literally melt into a puddle. If you grasp his face, pull him close and kiss him gently, he releases little whines that make butterflies erupt in your stomach. "Gods, you're so perfect. I'm not going to stop kissing you. Ever. You got that?"

Ezreal is a pouter when you argue, but he is also such a joker that it's hard for him to tell when you're actually upset with him. Once he does, he will do literally anything to make sure that you aren't mad at him for long, even if it means contradicting what he thought was right in the moment. He will become a soppy mess if you actually show him your anger. May even shed a tear. By the end of it, you feel so bad you have to give him loving to make up for it all. "Love, I'm sorry, I didn't know you were serious... I promise I'll pay more attention next time, okay? Come here, let's cuddle about it."

Ezreal just doesn't say goodbye. As a matter of fact, he just assumes he is going with you wherever you go, and vice versa. If you somehow end up somewhere without him, if he doesn't know where you are, he may just go into a slight panic? Usually running to Yone for help, eventually getting a text back from you (he sent SO MANY texts). His separation anxiety is cute, even though it's sad, and it makes you hyper aware of just how obsessed with you he is. "Where ARE you, my love? Oh my gods, you scared me! Please don't leave me again, I don't think my heart can handle it."

[ryker-writes]

Hi there! I love your writing! I was wondering if I could request an reader/MC that has a heavy country accent but it only comes out if they're mad? (I do this and my friends think it's hilarious) Maybe a platonic style with the first years? Maybe a part about Epel and reader trash talking others in countryisms? Thank you for your time!

Thank you for the compliment and the request! For the record, I haven't really interacted/heard a country accent that much in my life. So I don't know much beyond what Epel is like when he uses his accent. Sorry if it's not quite right or unrealistic. I can't even understand Epel half the time when reading his accent. But I did google countryisms and woah. I'm so lost but also very entertained

Ace:

at first he's intimidated

it takes his brain a few seconds to actually process what you're saying

but then he thinks it's great

he will think it's entertaining and love's to watch other peoples reactions

he may try to lightly provoke you because he finds your accent entertaining

if he hears you and Epel talking to each other with the accent he will try to follow along

he's most likely to actually understand what you guys are saying since he's a quick learner

he's gonna get real offended real quickly if you trash talk him

Ace doesn't mind as much that you're trash talking the others

Deuce:

also a little intimidated at first

he's heard Epel talk with his accent more than the others have so he get's a little bit of it

maybe every other word

enough for him to maybe piece together what you're saying if he really puts his brain to it

he thinks your accent is interesting, but won't try to make you mad intentionally

he might ask you what some phrase or word means so he can understand

when he hears you and Epel talking with your accents, he can tell you guys aren't saying something nice but he has no clue what you're saying

you and Epel are talking to fast and understanding each other perfectly

he can't keep up with you guys both talking and trying to decipher what you're saying

Jack:

the most intimidated

he can hear and feel the anger when you're talking

he really doesn't want to make you upset and be on the receiving end of that

needs a moment to try and process what you're saying

he wants to understand so later when you aren't mad he'll ask you what certain things mean

most likely to learn and understand what you're saying with time

if he learns enough, he might actually start using some country phrases or slang when he talks

it's pretty funny when he talks all serious and then he uses some slang

when he hears you talking with Epel, he's keeping up with the conversation and actually understanding after a second or two

once he realizes you two are trash talking others he's pretty quiet about it

like he won't stop you two but he won't engage with it either

Epel:

he is really happy about it

you're really mad at this person and he's just standing there smiling

not intimidated at all

he already knows what you're saying and can keep up very well

we all know Epel isn't normally allowed to speak using his accent because Vil, but he's going to start using his accent more now that he knows there's someone like him

don't let Vil hear either of you

but he'll start using his countryisms when he talks normally too

all because he knows there's someone who actually understands what he's saying

when you get mad and start using your accent, he's joining in and is upset with you

that person now has two people saying weird things angrily at them

everyone around you two is lost

Epel loves to trash talk others with you with the accent

it makes him feel so free and kind of like he's back in his home village

Sebek:

he doesn't understand a single thing you're saying but he knows you're mad

as long as you aren't mad at him, he won't complain

if you are mad at him he's not really intimidated but he's also taking everything you say as a threat

be very careful with this

if somehow he thinks you're talking about Malleus then he is yelling at you and challenging you

not the type to ask you about what you're saying (he may ask Lilia later)

he makes internal guesses at what you're saying so it's a 50-50 chance he will see it as a threat

so when he hears you and Epel talking with both of you using your accents, he doesn't know what to think

if he hears you two mention anyone in Diasomnia he's demanding that you explain

he doesn't care about the other students tho

[reticent-writer]

Hi Can I Ask Gojo, Megumi,Shinobu,Sanemi, Tengen, Mitsuri and Itadori With The Father Figure Reader How They Would Act If They Discovered Pictures On The Internet Of Their Dad At The Club Drinking And Basically Being The Life Of The Party Picking Up Lots Of Women.

And The Other Day S/O Not remembering anything

◡̈⋆ʜᴇʟʟᴏ(●’◡’●)ﾉ

Kimetsu Academy

✿✼:*ﾟ:.｡..｡.:*･ﾟﾟ･**･ﾟﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*ﾟ:*:✼✿　　

»»————>Demon slayer&lt;————««

Shinobu

She found you passed out on your kitchen floor

She didn't know why until a few days later

Her classmates saw the video and immediately showed her

They thought it was just some drunk dude and not her father

She's not mad just disappointed

She watched you chug an inhuman amount of beer then have a contest with another drunk to see who could (seemingly) dance better, sing, you even jumped on a pool table

the table didn't break but it sure did leave you sore in the morning

"Dad, are you serious?" She approached you with an unusual frown.

"What'd I do."

"What didn't you do. There is a video of you drunk out of your mind going around." She angrily pulled out her phone and showed you. She didn't give you time to speak before she went off again.

"I wouldn't be mad if I didn't see you drink so much. You drank like it was your last day on earth. You not as young as you think you are, you need to watch what you do." She started to sound worried and it made you feel bad.

"I'm sorry Shinobu. I won't happen again."

Sanemi

Sanemi was waiting for his students to arrive when he saw the video

He didn't know how to react

The who he called dad was dancing half naked to a crowd of people cheering him on

You were singing and everything

The only thing you had on were pants and socks

Everything else was nowhere to be seen

He was on his break when realized he forgot his lunch and like a good dad you brought it for him

He wasn't going to say anything but he just had to tell you

You were about to leave when he stopped you by grabbing your arm.

"Wait umm... Did you go out recently?" He asked nervously, not making eye contact.

"Yeah. Why did something happen?"

"You could say that." He showed you the video.

"I-i don't remember any of that." You swore as you cringed at your attempt at singing.

After the video stopped playing the both of you sat in silence. It was awkward.

Tengen

He thinks it hilarious

He was in the middle of making his explosive arts when he got a message from Makio saying "Get your dad before he hurts himself"

He had a good laugh watching you dance like there was no tomorrow

You had a chugging contest, played strip poker, made out with men and women

then blacked out

He couldn't be mad when you looked so happy

When he got home, you were being lectured by all three of his wives

"What would possess you to be so reckless? You could've gotten hurt." Makio says with Suma holding her back. You looked like a deer caught in headlights.

"But I'm perfectly fine and besides I don't even remember." You tried to ease her anger but it didn't work. She was about to explode when tengen helped Suma and Hina hold her.

"Whoa Whoa what's going on?"

"You saw the video. You saw this idiot."

"I think it was flashy. He was having fun and living his life to the fullest so I see no problem with him drinking every once in a while... With that being said you're not drinking without me there ever again."

Mitsuri

If you're happy, she's happy

but damn

She's never seen you act out in anyway

In her eyes you were a sweet and kind second father

Obanai found you when you went to the wrong house

He called Mitsuri and she came running

"Y/N I WAS SO WORRIED." Kanroji clung to you like her life depended on it.

"Worried? What happened?"

She pulled away and looked you up and down.

"You got drunk and blacked out." Obanai explained.

"Really?" You thought for a second. "I don't remember a thing."

"I bet."

Mitsuri hugged you again but this time tighter.

Who could refuse a hug from the love Hashira.

(Obanai stood to the side wishing it was him)

»»————>Jujustu Kaisen&lt;————««

Itadori

He was scrolling on TikTok when a caption caught his eye

"DILF still knows how to party"

It a collage of 3 photos with a video at the end

first photo: You taking shots

second pic: A young woman in a crop top and mini skirt (?) grinding on

third pick: You taking body shots off the same woman

The video was You dancing with a woman on each side of you and another throwing it back on you

Gojo posted it

You were sitting on the couch when Yuji approached you.

"Uh dad... is this you?"

You watched the video completely confused you even took the phone from him to get a better look.

You go to the page to see Gojo's profile

You were gonna kill him.

Megumi

He was woken up by you drunk (with the asistance of someone you met at the club) and knocking at the door trying to find your 7 y/o son

he's 16

A few days later Nobara sends him a video on insta

You didn't have a shirt on and was making out with someone in the back of a club

He texted "..." to nobara

He sent the video to you

"When was that"

"I don't remember going to a club"

"I swear I don't remember anything"

Megumi remembers it

(the night in question)

*knock knock knock*

Megumi looked through the peep whole of the door to see you leaning on an unfamiliar woman.

When he opens the door the woman is quick to hand you off.

"Hi, is this your dad he's okay, just really drunk. Sorry for the intrusion." She said as was steadily backed up until she was out of sight.

"mmmmmegumi when did you get so tall." You try to stand up straight to compare you height but you end up falling backwards and falling.

From your spot on the ground you get a look at his face.

"Toji?"

"Who?"

*silence*

You passed out.

Gojo

He took you to the club and expected you to drink a little and go home

When things got wild he didn't have a heart to stop you

"But you looked like you were having so much fun"

If things did get too out of hand he would've got you

He took videos and pictures

He saved one as his home screen

"Who knew an old guy like you could party that hard." Gojo casually dissed you as he scrolled through his phone.

You ignored him thinking he was just pulling your leg.

"I've never seen you drunk before."

You ignored him again.

"You even flirted with a woman. You promised you take her home, she was into you too."

You were going to ignore him again but he played a video of you talking to the woman.

You couldn't help but check it out.

You could barely recognize yourself and Gojo was eating it up.

He was so proud of himself.

[pensat-i-fet]

Ask me first (Rúben Dias x Reader)

**I got this request a while ago. Sorry about taking so long. But basically just a bit of angst and I couldn't come up with the reason for the fight until one of the answers Rúben gave to the questions on that app he's a part of now inspired me. Hope you like it ❤️**

Word count: 1047

Masterlist

Wattpad

"What are you doing?", you said, sitting down on the sofa next to Rúben and opening a bag of crisps.

"Answering questions on this app thing".

"Any good ones?"

"Yeah, I guess a few".

"Want one?"

"No, thanks", he answered without even looking at what you were offering. "I want to get this done quickly. We have movie night today".

"I might eat all the snacks before that".

"It wouldn't be the first time", he laughed and you hit him with the bag.

He kept typing on his phone and you got curious. What were people asking? So you downloaded the app and started to read through his answers right when he stopped answering.

"Five children. Good joke".

"It wasn't a joke".

You looked at him, eyebrow raised. "Oh, are you planning on becoming the first man in the world who gives birth? Because I'm not having five children".

"We can talk about it…".

"You can talk while I say no. Ask your mum how easy it's to have a single baby…five! You men are hilarious".

"Other women have more than five", is he for real?

"Good for them. I'm not them".

You got up, picking up the empty bags of snacks to throw them to the bin on the way to your room.

"The kids topic is more serious than this, don't you think?"

"Rúben, don't push it".

"I just don't see why you have to react like that".

"Because you didn't even ask me before announcing to the world I'm a baby making machine".

"That's not what I said", he rolled his eyes.

"It's what anyone would understand reading that answer".

Grabbing your phone, you went into the bathroom. And there you saw your friend's group chat was moving fast. What happened?

"Anyone can sum up the almost 100 messages I missed?"

"We're going out tonight. Wanna come with us?"

It was movie night but… "Sure. Who's picking me up?"

When you went back to the room, Rúben was waiting to try and talk to you but you just walked to the closet and started to get clothes out to see what looked cute.

"What are you doing?"

"Going out with my friends".

"What?", he couldn't believe you were saying that. "It's our movie night. And I haven't been able to spend any quality time with you for like a week".

"Yeah, too bad you messed up being an idiot".

"Come on", he tried to stop you from moving around the room but couldn't. "Don't be like that. I miss you".

"You can see me when I get back".

"At 4 am?"

"I might make it back by 3…does this look good?"

Rúben shook his head, not because he didn't think you looked good but because he knew what you were trying to do wearing such a short dress.

"Call me if you need anything", he said, defeated and you felt bad but…he needed to understand why you were mad.

So you picked up your bag and left.

**

Movie night without you there was boring so Rúben ended up logging off Netflix but left the TV on as background noise while he made a sandwich in the kitchen.

BBC news was on, of course. You were a news freak who loved watching that channel. And while he mindlessly spread some tahini on a slice of bread, he heard a familiar name.

"...there have been two stabbings in a fight. We can't give an official number of injuries but the ambulances have just arrived and are attending all the people here. Many tried to leave the club and hurt themselves on the way out…".

That club…was the club you always went to.

Rúben ran to the sofa to pick up his phone and tried calling you. But you couldn't hear the phone due to the loud music at the club.

"Pick up, pick up …".

Nothing. He tried calling twice and couldn't reach you. The TV reporter said the two people stabbed were male, so at least he knew you weren't seriously injured but why weren't you answering.

"Tanya…she always has her phone in her hand!"

He remembered that fact about one of your best friends and called her instead. When she picked up, he couldn't hear much because of the music.

"Rúben!? You got the wrong girl!"

"I didn't. Tanya, where are you? Are you ok?"

"What?"

"For God's sake".

He hung up and texted her instead, telling her to tell you to call him.

A couple of minutes later, his phone rang and when he saw your name on the screen, he let out a sigh of relief.

"You ok?"

"Yes, why wouldn't I be? Listen, I feel bad about our fight. I overreacted…".

"I don't care. You're fine".

"Wasn't I supposed to be?"

"I saw there was a fight at the club you always go to and worried you could be injured".

"Yeah, we don't go to that one anymore. Dodgy people and all that", you said, casually.

"Where are you then?", when you told him the name of the club, he wrote it down so he could find it on Google maps later. "Can I go pick you up? I…I need to see you're fine".

He couldn't see your smile but could swear he heard it when you spoke again. "Sure. I'm a bit bored anyways. I rather cuddle with you than be here".

"I'll be there soon".

When you found your friends again, you told them about what had happened.

"That place had such bad music anyways".

You shook your head. Only your friends could have that reaction to the news.

And then you kept your phone in your hands, waiting for Rúben's message saying he was there, which didn't take long.

"Gotta go, my loves!", you said, kissing them all quickly before going to meet Rúben.

You spotted him immediately and started to walk towards the car but he met you halfway there, engulfing you in a big hug.

"I was so worried".

"I'm fine, don't worry".

"Also…am I forgiven?"

You laughed at his words and his face. "I guess. But I'm still not having five kids. Let's just adopt five cats instead!"

"That's a lot of cats".

The look you gave him told him enough. "You can't be serious!"

[girls-alias]

Worry - Dean Winchester

Title: Worry - Dean Winchester

Words: 848

Relations: Dean Winchester X Platonic Reader, Sam Winchester X Platonic Reader.

TW: Violent, Wounds.

Prompt:

Trying to make Dean smile after a bad hunt.

Dean had driven recklessly to get back to the motel once we were ready to go. It was a nest of vampires and I had gotten bitten, nothing major but it hurt like a bitch. If I didn't know any better I would have thought that Dean figured I was dying. Dean took a couple of blows once I was bitten, taking a beating during the fight to keep the rest of the vampires away from me. 

Sam was giving me some stitches so it would hopefully heal faster and I wasn't in too much pain, nothing I hadn't felt before. Dean was watching me intensely with a drink in hand. Sam pulled one of my stitches a little tight making me wince but I still noticed Dean's knuckles go white for a second as he gripped the bottle a little tighter. 

"I'm fine you know," I commented but Dean scoffed. 

"You said that the last time you were injured," He replied in a tone I didn't recognise. It seemed like a mix of angry and upset. 

"I was fine then too," I shrugged but he sighed. I was shot a while back and losing a lot of blood. I stayed strong for Dean but I really thought I had come to an end. Dean hated my scars. Blamed himself for every single one of them, even the ones I had before we met. He'd always say that he could have prevented them but in all honesty, I probably gained more scars with him than before we met. Dean seemed especially protective of me, he seemed to look at me the same way he looked at Sam. We were all best friends and that's why I would take a bullet for them any day. I had so many scars being with them because we were always on a case, no time to rest or go sightseeing. I used to hunt for the sake of helping people but now I hunt to protect my little family. It's broken and bruised but there isn't a single thing I wouldn't do for them. 

"We said our goodbyes just in case," He added before taking a drink. 

"We only said goodbye because I thought you were going to faint at the sight of the blood," I joked not making him laugh. Sam chuckled, however. 

"This is serious," He replied sternly but I still smiled. 

"It's a bite, not a heart attack. No blood got on it and no blood is coming from it any more," I joked but once again he didn't laugh. Sam finished up the stitches and handed me a drink to pour over it to clean it but I took a sip before doing so. I made sure to look Dean in the eyes and not show any pain. I think the only reason I'm alive is that I'm so stubborn. Dean lifted an eyebrow at me as if he was slightly surprised. I don't see why. I am great at hiding pain, learnt to get on with it the longer I was in the hunting game. There was a time I was being tortured for information and he pissed me off so I stopped screaming, he got really mad and almost killed me but I was stubborn enough to hide it. 

"How do we know vampire blood didn't get into it?" He asked seriously as he stood up to get some more alcohol. I scoffed. 

"Because the only reason I want to bite you is that you're incredibly handsome," I replied sarcastically. He sighed as he rolled his eyes. "Look, I'm fine, you haven't even asked how I'm feeling you're just assuming I'm going to die," I commented but he turned around with a stern face. 

"You could have been killed," He spoke seriously so I knew I had to bring the conversation down a notch. 

"There are plenty of times I could have been killed and we all know I'm too stubborn to die," I commented and he chuckled slightly making me smile. "Remember that time I jumped in front of Sam to take a bullet for him but I slipped and all that happened was I hit my head on the concrete and Sam still got shot," I anecdote making us all laugh. It was a hilarious day. Dean was worried out of his mind but Sam and I were delirious from the pain and laughing our asses' off. 

Dean sighed with a smile. "Can you just start being more careful?" He asked so I pretended to think about it. 

"I can't, you and Sam are the strong ones, I'm no one if I'm not stubborn and clumsy." I shrugged making him laugh. He approached and hugged me with a sigh. 

"You're going to give me a heart attack," He commented as he pulled away and made his way to his seat. I chuckled slightly. 

"At least we know you have a heart," I joked before skipping across the room in case he tried to attack me, they just both laughed. 

I love this deranged family.

Masterlist

Working On

Taglist

[meiiuka]

Hi!! I'd like to request a oneshot (hurt-comfort) where Kokichi lies about something really serious and when and when the reader, (who is usually very calm and patient), realizes it was just a prank they gets really mad and upsed, I hope it's ok!

thank you for the idea anon! i hope you kokichi simps enjoy

kokichi ouma hurt-to-comfort as his s/o — oneshot:

category: one shot, hurt-to-comfort, fluff synopsis: you think you’ve caught your boyfriend kokichi ouma in a devastating lie. turns out, it was just a prank, but this still doesn't sit well with you. how could he lie about something so serious?

you watched kokichi scroll through his phone on the couch beside you, casually flipping past various apps as part of his routine. it wasn't until you saw him texting someone else that your eyes couldn't help but veer towards his screen. you didn't want to come off as too overbearing or possessive, but it was becoming hard to shrug off. you had front row seats to the ongoing message exchange between kokichi and this unfamiliar person. it probably wouldn't have been that big of a deal on a normal occasion, but something inside of you told you to worry.

you felt your heart thump loudly against your ribcage as your gaze darted away from the screen. was it right to be this concerned? you bit your tongue and took a quick peek at what the messages said.

the first one at the top was from the other person: "i miss you, my love” a wave of shock crashed over you before you could fully process anything, but your eyes kept going. the message right below it was somehow even worse.

"when are you going to come back to me and stop hanging out with that dumb bitch y/n?"

your eyes filled with horror. you couldn't help trembling at the words on your boyfriend’s screen.

kokichi quickly swiveled his head towards you with the audacity to have a huge smirk on his face. he was already in the process of responding with a heart at the end of his message but your eyes were too glossy with tears to read any of the words attached to the message.

your hurt feelings spilled out before you could control them. "kokichi, how could you do this? i thought i could actually trust you, but you betrayed me. how long have you been talking to someone else?!" you tried to stay firm in your anger but it morphed into crushing sadness.

"woah, let me explain…” his voice immediately dripped with regret as he rushed to hold your face with both of his hands, but you batted them away from you. "please... you've already hurt me enough. why are you doing this? i'm leaving."

you held your tears in your throat as you got up from the couch and headed towards the door.

“WAIT y/n it was just a prank! i’m not talking to anyone else!” his breath quickened as he chased you, "i'm... so sorry. i took it too far didn’t i? i just thought the look on your face would be hilarious if..." his voice trailed off. it hit him that there wasn't any justification for his thoughtless prank.

as you turned the handle to leave, kokichi’s panicked voice rang closely behind you, desperately pleading for your attention. you turned to face him, hot tears starting to scrape your cheeks. “you thought my pain would be funny?” your voice cracked in disbelief. “that’s not something you play around with, kokichi. how the hell would this ever be funny?”

his big sad eyes were genuinely remorseful. he took a step closer to reach his hand out to you. “i know. i’m really sorry. i didn’t think any of it through like i should’ve. you might not believe me, but never meant to hurt you like this..” his voice trembled slightly as he spoke. “i knew you’d see my phone screen if we were sitting together on the couch. that’s why like an idiot, i thought it’d be funny i’d pretend i was talking to another person…” meanwhile you felt torn between your pain and the softer side of kokichi that you knew existed. “it’s just that… i don’t understand why you would do this,” you cried, trying to control your emotions.

he took a deep breath as he struggled to put his regret into words. “i know i’m not always the best at telling you how i feel, but i do care about you. i want to make you laugh, not cry. so please let me make it up to you…” his words were starting to pull your defensive walls down but the hurt was still fresh. “how will i know you won’t pull another hurtful prank again?” you asked, your tone cautious yet still yearning for reassurance.

kokichi took your hand gently, his tone soft and comforting. “no more thoughtless pranks. i swear… if i do it again you can kick me but, i know you won’t have to.” he chuckled a little as he spoke but his regret was still evident.

“ok,” you whispered, “but you have to show me that you mean it. and let me see the messages, because part of me is still afraid it was a real person.” kokichi nodded, handing you his phone the moment you asked. he lightly squeezed your hand. “i won’t mess up like this again. i’ll be there for you in the way you’ve always deserved.”

relief washed over you as this mystery person tuned out to be kokichi’s own number. this prank was stupid, you thought to yourself, shaking your head slightly. “i see it now,” you sighed with a quivering voice. “i’m sorry i got so upset. i know you were just trying to be funny but this just got to me for some reason.”

kokichi rushed to interrupt you. “no! don’t be sorry for anything right now, y/n. i’m dumb for not thinking before acting.” he buried his face in his hands. “sitting here doing nothing isn’t gonna help me, so i’ll do what i can now to help you. because that’s what matters most to me.”

you could feel the weight of your pain starting to dissolve. his arms opened for a hug as he leaned in, wrapping his arms around you in a warm hug. your tears fell against his shoulder as you cried. he rubbed your back and held you for a moment as you savored the feeling. you felt vulnerable having him hold you so closely but it soothed the ache you had in your chest.

“i promise, love,” he whispered against your ear, “i will never do anything like this again. it hurts me to see you cry like this, especially knowing i’m the one who caused it.” you relaxed in his embrace. he pulled away to look at you, hands perched above your shoulders as he spoke. “how about i treat you to dinner? i know it won’t fix anything but i want to show you i care somehow.”

you laughed at his effort. “okay babe,” you replied, “let me go get ready and i’ll be right down.”

“i love you, y/n,” he murmured softly, pulling you in before planting a kiss against your lips. “let me make it up to you”

[thewertsearch]

TT: When John delivers the tumor, TT: And I do mean The Tumor, TT: I and I alone will navigate the Furthest Ring. TT: And I will destroy the sun. TT: By which I do mean the GREEN MOTHER FUCKING SUN.

Sounds like a plan.

Just... a plan. It's certainly a plan, and that's all I'm going to say.

TT: And in case it wasn't clear, TT: I won't be coming back.

Fucking what?

...oh, hang on, this is a fakeout, isn't it. It's her Dream Self, isn't it?

...isn't it?

TG: whoa fuck TG: a suicide mission are you serious TG: no bullshit thats not happening TG: hey look suddenly everything we just talked about was useless because its time to make a plan that doesnt fucking suck TT: Let's not be so dramatic. TT: I was talking about my dream self.

God. Do not scare me like that, Rose.

If you died in the Furthest Ring, I don't think you could be resurrected. There's no Space, so you can't even find the body to prototype.

TG: haha yeah thats fine i guess TG: those fuckers are all kinds of mad expendable

Not really. It's still an extra life, and you only get one freebie. Plus, the dual-bodies thing is actually pretty useful, and Dream Selves have access to magic like flight and shapeshifting.

Also... losing her Dream Self will put Rose in the Bubbles when she sleeps. That's the last thing her psyche needs.

TG: for someone whos saying lets cool it on the drama the whole i wont be coming back thing is a pretty theatrical bombshell TG: for future reference

That was pretty mean, Rose. Were you trying to see if Dave actually cared? Because you should know the answer to that question by now.

TG: so when do i do my thing TG: make this map [...] TT: If there's one thing you have more than any of us, it's time. TT: So, whenever you like. TT: As long as conventionally speaking, it's quite soon. [...] TT: And if you have trouble going to sleep, maybe you can ask your patron troll to trick the telepathic one into putting you to sleep again. TG: what TT: Each of us seems to have a troll infatuated with helping us. Haven't you noticed?

Jade doesn't. The troll she's probably talked the most with is Karkat. He's supposed to calm down later on, but I wouldn't characterize what he's currently doing as 'helping'.

TG: which ones yours TG: is it the absurd juggalo one that would be hilarious

...actually, Gamzee might be sufficiently off-putting to shock Rose out of this ominous mood she's in. I'm willing to give anything a shot, at this point, so bring on the Faygo.

[lily-orchard-gossip-blog]

Hello hello again! It's good to have you back for a little while! Unfortunately there is a lot of infighting in the critical sphere right now and it's not very fun to follow. And worse still Lily is as smug as ever. People are too invested in who ripped off what, who's disrespecting this or that, they should just be having fun at Lily's expense. That's what Saiscribbles has done, and you can tell how effective it is because Lily has tried every strategy in the book to prove how not mad she is.

You know what?

I think I would like to poke fun at the whole thing. I mean, it's sounds like she's gotten a bit ridiculous since I've been gone. (Ridiculous sounds like an understatement, thought.)

I've done serious and it's exhausting. You can only take her serious for so long before you realize she doesn't really even know or believe what she's saying.

As for the fighting, well... It's a shame, but let's try to focus on what's at the core of this blog: Gossiping about Lily.

...But I do have one thing I want to get off my chest, so I will mention it here and then move on. It is under the read bar just so those who don't care can ignore it.

I do have one thing to say about the drama, and that's about Ethel.

They are a liar liar pants on fire.

Seriously, I watched Evangeline Skovs video, which was one of the better coverages on the subject and there was no plagiarism. Not even of me, and I was a source!

Never mind that fact that Ethel legit lied about my blog in their rebuttal, claiming that Levi couldn't find anything on my blog about their video, or glade, so Evangeline was lying.

Their proof? Levi used the search bar, used the word minor and glade, and nothing came up except one post...

Fun fact: I'm bad at tagging things, and my search bar is kind of useless because of that.

(Side note: why would I use glade's name? Why would I want to draw attention to someone who I assumed wanted to be left alone? I'm pretty sure that was made clear in the video.)

Anyway, if you used my archive you could easily find TONES of posts from me talking about the video in question with details.

Here's one that Ethel conveniently left out:

And you know what's hilarious about that? They reblogged this take to try and rebuke it on their tumblr. (That they have long since abandoned.)

I decided to ignore it, because obviously I'm not going to try and get in a fight with them, and Ethel was so mad by that they messaged me directly to try and threaten me with legal jargon.

So I blocked them.

But hey, since I'll probably never bother with this again, here are the messages. Enjoy old drama from like...2 years ago:

Image text here:

[Okay, I've put this off for as long as possible, but please, read this case study as right now you are parroting harmful legal advice. Victim testimony not only constitutes evidence, but can be sufficient evidence to convict, a fact that was tested in Commonwealth v Gustavo Gonzalez Santos in Massachusetts.

I’ll highlight two relevant sections in case you don’t have the time to read the entire thing: “The defendant's sole argument on appeal is that the evidence was not sufficient to support his convictions. The defendant asserts that "there were no witnesses to the alleged assaults," "no physical evidence," "no medical or forensic evidence," and "no expert testimony." He argues that "there was absolutely no conclusive evidence presented at trial that suggested the [d]efendant's guilt beyond a reasonable doubt."” And: “Here, the victim testified to facts that constituted each element of the charged offenses. Her testimony, which the jury found to be credible, was sufficient, standing alone, to support a finding beyond a reasonable doubt as to each of the convictions. See, e.g., Commonwealth v. Lawrence, 68 Mass. App. Ct. 103, 104 (2007)

("The victim's testimony was sufficient evidence of [indecent assault and battery on a child under age fourteen]"); Commonwealth v. Gonsalves, 23 Mass. App. Ct. 184, 185 (1986) ("The victim's account of what the defendant did to him in the apartment was sufficient to overcome the defendant's motion for a required finding of not guilty of rape"). The idea that long infected our legal system that the victim's testimony in sexual assault and rape cases is less credible than the testimony of victims in cases involving other types of crimes -- an idea that reflected nothing more than sexism and an unwillingness on the part of our courts to treat sexual crimes as the gravely serious matter that they are -- has been rejected both by statute and by common law.��

When you and others continue to parrot the myth that victim testimony does not constitute as valid evidence, you are harming victims of rape and abuse. This is straight up rape culture and, since I’m pushing back any video coverage on the matter until I’ve finished dealing with Lily because I don’t want to muddle things, I need you to stop promoting falsehoods. We have legal members on our team who have passed the bar, Patchie does not, Opal does not, and neither does You Can Eat Hearts. You are causing unnecessary harm to victims by breathing life into myths constructed by rape culture. To be clear, I am not asking for your denouncement of certain people, just for you to please, stop publishing bad legal takes.

This is also the case in Canada, if you're wondering - https://www.accused.ca/evidence.htm

Sorry, I just realized I didn't give you the US case study. Here it is - http://masscases.com/cases/app/100/100massappct1.html#:~:text=The%20jury%20found%20the%20defendant,We%20affirm. ]

Oct 30, 2022 9:16 AM

Whew, you have no idea how long I wanted to spill this tea.

Alright, I've said what I've wanted to say on this topic. I'm now going to focus on laughing at Lily and her horrible incest stories.