#I've tried to stop doing that because 1) I'm just trying to be more positive in general

[culmaer]

¶

[tetsumie]

"𝐘𝐎𝐔'𝐑𝐄 𝐒𝐎 𝐂𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐘" 𝐏𝐓 𝟐

read part 1 here!

pairing: kuroo x reader & bokuto x reader

genre: hurt/comfort

content: the boys call you clingy but they don’t mean it

a/n: hello ahhh it's been awhile since i've posted but i'm trying to get back into the habit of writing again! someone in my inbox had requested me to add bokuto to this list so i tried my best but i hope you all enjoyed this and feel free to stop by my inbox to leave a comment, tell me your thoughts, or just lmk how it's going hehe :,)

kuroo tetsuro

"i'm home," a mumble echoed out into the empty living room.

at the sound of the door opening, you make your way out of your shared bedroom to greet your overworked boyfriend, kuroo.

"hi baby," you replied with a tired smile on your features.

the door closes and kuroo slides off his slacks, loosens his tie, runs his fingers through his hair, and sighs in exhaustion.

"hey."

"have you eaten dinner yet?" you start to ramble. " i can warm up dinner and we could maybe share a meal together?"

"we haven't spent much time together in a while so you know.. i was just thinking... we could do something small together?"

you continue to ramble about how you spent all evening trying a new recipe you saw on tiktok that really fascinated you.

but kuroo is not having it.

all he wants to do is just go to bed and forget the past couple shitty days he's had at work. today, especially, was stressful considering how nothing had gone his way and the higher ups just wouldn’t stop giving him a hard time.

he kept his frustration, tiredness, anger all bottled up for the past couple days and they were all about to boil out.

on top of that, your constant rambling isn't helping. you keep talking and talking and talking and his mind is beginning to get cloudy and his anger is about to boil over.

his voice rises and he finally speaks, "god y/n.. can you just shut the fuck up and stop being all up in my space? you're so fucking clingy just leave me alone."

oh.

you mouth shuts up mid sentence and you're looking down at your feet, too embarrassed to even look him in the eye after hearing his true feelings.

"sorry, i just wanted to spend some time and talk and relax with you..." your voice goes quiet. "you've been out really late for the past couple days so i was just hoping-"

however, kuroo's outburst isn't over yet. if anything, your little comment voicing your concerns seems to have make him a bit more upset.

"yeah, i've been out late because of how suffocating it is here at home with you. god, it's like you just can't take a fucking hint! just leave me the fuck alone!" he says and your eyes go a bit glassy.

"r-right," you say as you're turning around so he doesn't see the tears forming in your eyes. "sorry, i'll respect your wishes and give you your space."

seeing your hunched figure walking away brought him back to his senses.

what the fuck did i just say to them? oh my god.

"y/n wait i'm sorry-" he begins but is cut off.

"kuroo, i think you've said enough tonight."

the sound of his last name coming out of your mouth leaves a bitter taste in his mouth and he knows he's fucked up immensely. the door to the bedroom closes, indicating that you're clocking out for the night and you can't deal with this conversation any bit longer.

kuroo sits himself on the couch with his head in his hands, shaking his head.

what the hell did i just say to them? it's not even their fault... i just... how the hell do i make it up to them?

kuroo walks to the door and places three subtle knocks on the door, begging for permission to enter. he's greeted with no acknowledgement or response.

he turns the knob and to his surprise it opens. there, he sees you fast alseep in your comforter in a fetal-like position. he goes into the closet, changes into his pajamas, and immediately climbs into bed.

he brings you close to his side of the bed, specifically putting your head on his chest. he begins to stroke your hair and places gentle kisses on your head, mumbling soft "i'm sorry's" and "i love you's."

he's praying to whatever deity out there that this would blow over by tomorrow morning or something.

but kuroo wakes up the next morning to his worst nightmare: you're not in bed with him. he feels his blood run cold and he's running the worst case scenarios in his head.

he rushes out of the bedroom to see that you're nowhere in the apartment. he sees a bright colored post-it note stuck on to the fridge with a note scribbled in your handwriting.

"i'm staying at a friend's house for the next couple of days. i just need time to think for a bit. there's some leftovers from last night in the fridge so make sure you eat those.

love u always, y/n"

kuroo's hands shake as he's holding your post-it note.

of course, they'd leave. i treated them like shit and hurt them so badly of course they want to leave. but even after everything, they still love me… i don’t deserve them.

kuroo begins to spiral and the next couple of days aren't any easy for him.

every attempt at texting or calling you has lead to no response. he goes to sleep without you next to him, holding back tears every time. every morning without fail, he pats the vacancy next to him in hopes that you'll be there but to his demise, every time, you're not. work feels even more lethargic than usual. before, he used to look forward to coming home to you but now you're not even at home so what's the point in even trying. counting down the hours until he gets to leave his cubicle has become futile.

i just really want them back. please come back home.

but when he comes home from a pain achingly long day of work, he doesn't find you and his mood plummets even more.

that is until one day, kuroo is able to leave work early where he comes home and hears the familiar noise of the coffee maker brewing. his eyes shoot up from his slacks to look over at the kitchen where he sees you in all your beauty, fidgeting with the knobs on the coffee machine. your eyes both lock and you immediately look away.

kuroo thought you were gone for good. and the fact that you were only a couple feet away from him made his heart swell and his eyes water. there's so much to say but his not a single word is escaping his mouth.

"you want some coffee? i just started a new batch," you finally say to fill up the silence of the room.

he gulps, "sure yeah."

you grab a coffee cup and pour him a fresh cup of coffee and slide it to him across the kitchen counter, avoiding getting too close to him.

too nervous to even touch his drink, he begins to address the elephant in the room, "y/n, i'm so sorry for what i said that night. i had no right to speak to you in the manner."

"it's okay," you say in a curt manner. "i get it."

he shakes his head and tries to get closer to you to convey his feelings but is stopped when he sees you take a step back. his heart cracks.

"no it's not okay sweetheart. i've been so busy with work and i just got super overwhelmed with everything and-"

"kuroo, you know you don't have to make any excuses right?" you interrupt his train of thought.

he's confused now. "excuses? y/n what are you even talking about- "

"just end it with me already... i know you want to," you say, looking down at the fresh cup of coffee in your hands. "you made that very clear."

his world freezes.

the world becomes completely silent.

his mouth is slightly open, caught off guard. he doesn't know what to say.

however, you interpret his silence as him putting down the excuses finally and admitting that he doesn't want to put effort into this relationship with you anymore.

hell, he doesn’t even want this relationship with you anymore.

"right, if you won't i will so it's easier for the both of us. i think we should-"

"don't you dare finish that fucking sentence," he moves close to you all of a sudden and his familiar lingering cheap cologne smell takes up your senses. the gears begin to click in his head before you can respond to him.

kuroo's arms envelop you in his embrace. "i want you. only you. i'm sorry i made you think otherwise."

the tears you've been holding back for the past couple minutes standing in front of him overflow and you feel like the world is about to end.

you push kuroo off you slightly. "i know you've been busy with work and i just wanted to spend some time with you. i never meant to come off as clingy but clearly you thought so so-"

"i'm just a complete douche,” he interrupts. “you were trying to help me out and make me feel better and i was so caught up with work, i couldn't appreciate that."

"i never want to ever make you feel that way again. you never deserved to hear any of that from me and everything i said couldn't be far from the truth. your presence has never been a bother and if anything, coming home to you is the best part of my day.”

“i shouldn't have let my emotions get the best of me and i'm so sorry that it did and that i hurt you in the process. i hate that i’m the reason behind your tears and i’ll do everything to make it up to you to show you how much i love you."

the tears from your eyes continue to flow and he delicately wipes every single one from your eyes kissing your cheek every time without fail.

"are you sure you don’t find me suffocating? you said that you hated being home with me though so i just thought-" you start to say.

"i will spend my entire life reassuring you that it isn’t true. i promise you are never suffocating me and your presence never fails to make me feel better on a shitty day. i will do anything to regain your trust and faith in me,” he adamantly speaks with his hands in yours.

hearing his determined resolve, the tears flow even more.

"i love you so much, tetsu."

"i love you too baby," he smiles and delicately kisses your lips. "now let's go out. how do you feel about going out for dinner? i’ve got a lot of making up to you to do."

"i'll never say no to that."

bokuto koutaro

the msby jackals lost 2-0 sets and the entire team was taking the loss hard but no one as hard as bokuto.

"bokuto-san, what do you think went wrong today's game?" an interviewer asks with his notepad out, scribbling notes.

"er, uh, well, today was just a rough day and i had a tough time keeping up with the opponent's plays today... it just was not a good day."

"i have one more question," the interviewer asks.

"go ahead," he gruffs out.

"you are known for your infamous line shots especially during deciding moments of the game. you missed multiple of these shots during today's game. were you distracted during this game? is it because of your new relationship status or were-"

bokuto is now riled up. who the hell does this interviewer think he is to corner me and bring in my personal life???

"i'm leaving, fuck this shit," he spits out, trying his best to maintain his composure.

in frustration, bokuto storms out of the press conference room, slamming the double doors, heading towards the locker room to grab his stuff but is stopped by you, running after him.

"kou! wait up!" you say from a distance and he stops in his tracks to look at you. he's still internally raging from the provocative behavior of that interviewer and he feels like he just might lose it.

"what do you want," he says in an aggressive manner that catches you off guard.

you’re aware of the recent loss of the msby jackals. you know that's probably taking a toll on his confidence as a player so you're trying to be as supportive as you can.

"you wanna come back to my place? i was thinking we could watch that one disney movie you like and we could bake something together too? what do you think?"

"why do you always want to fucking hang out?" he says in the lowest tone of voice you've ever heard from him.

it sends shivers down your spine.

"huh?" you're just confused at this point.

"why are you so fucking clingy all the time? it's always 'kou come over!' or 'kou let's watch a movie!' or 'kou let's take a nap together!' like don't you fucking get that i have a genuine career that i'm working really hard to be successful in?"

so that's what he thinks of me.

"i know you want to be a pro volleyball player and i want to support you the entire way. i was just trying to be there for you and help you relax..." you trail. "i get today was really rough for you.."

"that's the thing you don't get it, y/n!" he says exasperatedly. "if you did want to be supportive for me and my career, then you would stop being so all up on me and give my space!"

he walks into the locker room, slamming the door, shaking you up.

in defeat, you begin to leave the stadium with tears brimming your eyes. as you get in your car, you put your head on the steering wheel and suddenly, the tears start to stream out.

"i'll give him his space. i'll just stop everything. i'm nothing of importance to him or his life so it's best if i just stop." you convince yourself.

bokuto, on the other hand, is in the locker room, holding back tears of frustration as he punched one of the lockers.

fuck, what am i even doing right now...

"bokuto-san! let's head out for the night," shoyo's voice can be heard before he can be seen in the locker room. "we're gonna go get drinks and dinner at that new barbecue place that opened up."

he looks up from the bench and smiles at shoyo along with the rest of his teammates that are nodding along in support.

"yeah, sure. fine with me," kou responds with a small smile on his face.

as bokuto and the rest of the jackals are out and about, he keeps looking at his phone in hopes of getting a message or something from you but you're completely radio silent after the spat between the two of you.

he knows you both had a disagreement but he thought you knew that he was just frustrated and upset with the game. he didn't think it was a reason to just go silent on him.

he sends a text to test the waters.

kou <3: babe, we're good right?

he puts his phone down and engages back in the dinner with the rest of the jackals.

an hour has passed yet still no response. it's starting to make him fidgety so he decides to spam you.

kou <3: hello?

kou <3: baby wya???

kou <3: where is the loml at :((

kou <3: BABYYYYYYY

kou <3: POOKIE PLS TXT ME BACK :(((

y/n is typing...

y/n: sry i was getting ready for bed.

you sounded distant. you clearly were upset but was it still about the argument? c'mon you knew he didn't mean what he said... right?

kou <3: ITS OKAY BABY! can i come over? i wanna spend the night with u :,)

kou <3: i miss you

y/n: maybe not tonight... i think it's best if we're by ourselves for a bit

bokuto's hair significantly drooped down, seeing as how he got rejected to hang out with you for the night.

as bokuto heads over to his apartment for the night, he stares at the bedroom ceiling with his thoughts. he misses laying next to his baby. that's when he starts to replay everything that went down between the two of you.

he genuinely can't figure out what went wrong.

he prays that this whole thing will just blow over by tomorrow because he misses you incredibly and just wants to spend time with you.

unfortunately to his demise, you kept shutting down all of kou's efforts to come over. you refused to pick up his calls, resorting to half assed texts.

this whole argument was festering and bokuto had to fix it immediately.

you, however, want nothing more than to spend time with your boyfriend but his words kept running through your mind on loop. anytime you would be sitting alone with yourself, his words kept playing themselves on loop in your brain, making you overthink the post couple months you’ve spent together.

has he always thought of me as clingy? have i always been a bother to him? have i always been super annoying in his eyes?

that was until you heard a knock on the door.

you open the door and see kou standing there in a hoodie and a pair of khakis with a large bouquet of assorted flowers in his hands. his eyes lock with yours while yours widen in surprise.

"k-kou! what are you doing here?" you say in surprise.

"what, i can't see my partnet now?" he retorts lightheartedly. "let me in."

too stunned to even reject him, your hand inherently finds its way to the knob, widening the door so bokuto can fit through into your apartment.

he tries to hand you the flowers but you stand there, hands refusing to move from their sides. "c'mon babe, i got them for you! do you not like them? man, i knew i should've gotten the roses instead."

"no no! thank you so much kou.. i'm just surprised that you even got this for me..." you trail off looking away from him.

he sets the flowers on the kitchen counter and tilts his head in confusion. "what do you mean, y/n?"

"listen, i know you don't really like spending time with me and that you feel obligated to but honestly, we really don't have to hang out or anything like that," you begin to say. "i know i can be a lot sometimes and i'm really working on trying to give you space."

that's when it all clicks in his head for him.

"baby, is this about what i said that day in the gym?" he questions.

you turn away, refusing to even look him in the eye because you know the moment your eyes lock with his, the tears will start streaming down your face.

"baby, no, please," he goes over to you to give you the warmest yet tightest hug possible. "i’m also a very clingy person so i should've known how much my words must have hurt you. i've been so stupid to not see how badly my words must have impacted you, my love. i'm so so sorry for saying and acting the way i did. it's unexcusable."

"no kou it's fine i just-" you say but are interrupted midsentence.

"no, y/n it's not," he says, tears brimming his eyes ever since coming to terms with how hurt you must've been feeling this entire time. "i'll do anything to get your forgiveness and for us to just... be close again. i'll do anything, i mean it."

tears are streaming down both your faces and you can't help but form a wobbly smile on your lips. "pinky promise?"

"pinky promise," kou says as he locks pinkies with you and kisses the top of your head. "now let's cuddle because i've missed being near the love of my life."

© tetsumie 2024 all rights reserved 

[willowsnook]

Right Place, Right Time (pt. 1) Lando Norris

pt. 1, pt. 2, pt. 3, pt. 4

new series featuring lando x american reader who works for Monster. This will be a slow burn!!!!!!! patience

----------------------------------------

When performance review time came around at work you were disappointed to hear that there weren't going to be any raises this time around. As a top performer on the marketing team you were disappointed but it had been a tough year. As a consolation prize, your manager had put your name in the hat to win a trip to the Dutch Grand Prix which you thought was kind of random but your company was a McLaren sponsor and it was all expenses paid so whatever. You kind of followed F1 so when you got the email that you had won you were excited. Even more excited that it was not going to be 90 degrees outside like it currently was in Texas.

You landed in Zandvoort on Thursday night and were up bright and early on Friday to get the whole tour and all. You had never been to a race so it was pretty cool and you liked getting to walk around the paddock looking at all the other teams stuff. You snapped a million of selfies to send back to your sister who you knew was foaming at the mouth in jealousy.

You didn't really care about watching the practices so around 3 you headed back to McLaren to find your stuff and go. As you were turning the corner in a hallway you ran right smack into someone else causing you to drop your phone.

"Omg I'm so sorry," you said reaching down to pick it up. When you stood up you were face to face with Lando Norris, one of the McLaren drivers. He looked sad, like really sad. Like the kind of sad you would be if someone stole your dog.

"Are you good dude?" You asked unsure. He gave you a weak smile mumbling something out, his voice cracking.

"Hey hey it's okay," you soothed putting your hand on his arm. "it's only practice ya know." You tried to joke and he met your eyes with his own watery ones.

"It's okay," he said. "Just a bad day, are you looking for someone or something?" You nodded.

"Yeah I need my bag but honestly I'm kind of lost in here," you said.

"It's probably in hospitality, I can walk you there?" He offered and you smiled.

"That would be great," you said following him the way he came from. You walked in silence and you were trying to rack your brain on anything you knew about this guy. You remembered seeing some shit on twitter about him before summer break and a lot of not nice things.

"So what brings you to Zandvoort?" He asked, breaking the silence.

"I work for Monster Energy, and I won a raffle," you said and he let out a laugh.

"You must be a big F1 fan then?" He asked and you shook your head.

"Not really, I watch the races but I just wanted a vacation."

Someone was walking out of hospitality as you were walking in and stopped to talk to Lando.

"We need to talk about today," they said sternly. "Find me later."

You felt Lando deflate next to you but he nodded and guided you in the room. No one else was in there and you quickly grabbed your bag.

"Well there you ar-"

"Why do you like racing?" You interrupted him and his eyes widened in surprise.

"Uhh.. I don't know," he said and you waited. "I've always been in love with cars and the feeling I get. It's like everything else fades away and it's just me."

"Do you still feel that way?" You asked and he nodded.

"For the most part, the pressure and the things said online get loud though," he said quietly.

"Can I be honest with you?" You asked and he nodded.

"I'll never know what it's like to be in your position," you started. "But these people online don't know you. Yes they know the you that your PR team puts out and what you post but they don't know your character. They don't know who you are inside and they probably never will. But you have people here that do know you. People that do care about you and want you to succeed. Drown out the noise with them because those are the people that matter."

He stared at you not saying anything and you started to get the itch of feeling awkward and then to make it worse he quickly looked away and swiped at his eyes.

"Oh my god I made you cry," you panicked. "I'm so sorry I overstepped I don't know you."

He let out a little laugh looking back at you with red rimmed eyes.

"It's a good thing," he said. "It's hard for me to remember sometimes and it's nice to be seen as a human by someone."

You smiled before holding up your bag.

"Well I got this, so I'm going to go but good luck tomorrow," you said.

"Thank you," he replied. "You never told me your name?"

"Y/n," you said holding out your hand and he shook it. "See ya around."

--------------------------------------------------------

You skipped out on the qualifying sessions on Saturday to hang out and relax in Zandvoort but you were really excited for Sunday. You got the the paddock really early and made a beeline for hospitality to get a much needed coffee. As you were waiting for it to finish pouring you heard someone speak next to you.

"I love those pants, where did you get them from?"

You turned around to see a girl maybe a couple years younger than you with long brown hair wearing a creme top and jeans. You looked down at your own dark jeans that fitted you perfectly if you do say so yourself.

"Thank you!" You said smiling. "They are from Abercrombie's curve line."

"Ahh nice," she said moving to start her own coffee.

"Yeah I spend too much money there," you said.

"I never really got into it," she said.

"I wasn't as a kid because they hated fat people back then but thank god for change," I joked and she let out a loud laugh.

"I'm Lily," she said and you introduced yourself back. "Visiting from the US?"

"Yeah, I won a work raffle so here I am," you said and she nodded.

"Are you watching from the garage?" She asked and you shook your head.

"I'm supposed to but I really want to be in the stands so I think I'm going to sneak in."

Her eyes widened in surprise.

"You wouldn't want to watch from down here?" She asked confused.

"No all the real action is out there with all the other fans," you told her. "Have you never sat there?"

She shook her head.

"Well if you're interested in joining me just let me know!" You offered before waving goodbye.

You spent the next hour wandering the paddock soaking in the atmosphere. About 30 minutes before the race starts you see Lily coming up to you with a burly guy.

"I think I am going to join you," she said. "But he has to come too so that nothing happens."

"Awesome," you say and she smiles. You two start walking towards the stands talking the whole way but are intercepted by a McLaren driver.

"Where are you going?" He asks Lily, looking confused.

"We are watching from the stands," she said pulling him in for a hug. He kisses her but looks worried.

"But why?"

"Because it's the full experience Osc," she said and he looked towards the bodyguard who shrugged. "This is y/n by the way, she works for Monster."

A look of realization washes over his face and he reaches out to shake your hand.

"You talked to Lando yesterday?" He asked and you nodded.

"Briefly yeah," you replied quizzingly.

"Hmm," he said and Lily looked at you confused. "Well I have to go but be safe and I'll see you after."

He left the two of you to get back to walking.

"So you met Lando?" She asked.

"Yeah I ran into him and gave him a little pep talk." This made her laugh.

"A pep talk? Do you know him?" She asked looking at you with amusement.

"No, he was just giving off really sad energy," you said truthfully and she sighed.

"Yeah he's going through a hard time."

You nodded. The bodyguard led you two to a row that had clearly been predetermined and motioned for you to file in.

"Isn't this exciting?" You asked taking it all in. The stands were electric.

"It is pretty cool," she said, here nerves easing.

You both were disappointed to see Lando lose his place at the start but amazed after lap 18. The middle was kind of boring except for when Oscar would come around so you and Lily spent the time getting to know each other. You told her about your life in Texas and she told you about life as a WAG. She gave you her number and made you promise to text her especially for the Austin GP. At the end of the race you both screamed like crazy when Lando crossed the link and made your way down to the podium area. It was very cool getting to see it in person.

You walked back to the garage with Lily and said your goodbyes as she went to find Oscar. As you were getting ready to head out you saw Lando across the garage and you gave him a big thumbs up. He laughed and smiled returning the sign.

Your flight was early the next morning so you headed back to your hotel to get ready to go back to real life.

[me-loving-woso]

The day after tomorrow

As promised here is Part 2 of Today. Tomorrow. You can find Part 1 here: Today. Tomorrow

As soon as you reached her building, you sent her a text.

**Y/n**: Are you home?

**Aitana**: Yes, I am. Why?

**Y/n:** Open the door.

You entered the building and quickly reached her door, knocking. After a few moments, she opened it, looking surprised, both at your presence and your new bald look.

"What are you doing here?"

"I'm here to apologize," you said shyly, waiting for her to let you in. She widened the door to let you in, then closed it again. "I'm really sorry about how I treated you today. It wasn't fair to you, and I'm really sorry."

"It's okay, really," she said without much thought.

"You can be mad at me; I deserve it," you told her.

"You're going through something really tough. I get it if you want to lash out or not be vulnerable around me, even if sometimes, I'd like it if you'd let me be there for you more," she softened her gaze, showing her sincerity.

"Maybe that's the problem," you came closer to her. "Aren't you going to get tired of waiting for me?"

She was taken aback by the question, surprised at your acknowledgment of what was happening between you. The last time that happened, you were drunk.

"Well, I don't see it that way. We are already kinda acting like a couple. We cuddle, we sometimes sleep together, we are there for each other, we communicate, and we both care for each other in a way that friends wouldn't," she pointed out. Those past weeks, she had been there for you like a girlfriend would.

"Well, you can say that, but is it enough? Do you really think we could go on like this for more than another month?"

"What are you trying to say, Y/n? Do you want this to end?"

"No, no. What I'm trying to say is that I don't think I've given you a proper chance. I pushed you away multiple times because I was scared. And I really don't want to anymore."

A smile crept onto her lips as she tried to suppress it. "So you're saying—"

"Yes, Tani. 70% of relationships fail in the first year, so let's be that 30%."

"Are you sure? Like 100%? Because if you're doing it for me, you really don't have to. I'm happy being what we are currently," she rambled.

"I'm doing it for myself. So now, just shut up and kiss me.”

She gently placed her hands on your cheeks and pulled you close to her lips. The kiss was so sweet that you both couldn't properly kiss each other because you couldn't stop smiling.

"Be serious! I can't kiss you properly," you told her, giggling.

"I'm trying!" She took a breath to keep her smile from creeping in and kissed you again, this time properly.

She took her time, making sure you both fully enjoyed kissing each other for the first time. You slowly pushed her until she was seated on the couch, while you surged forward, sitting on her lap. There, she held you tight by your waist, while you had your hands on the sides of her jaw.

When you finally pulled away to breathe, you began to pepper her cheeks, jaw, and forehead with small, quick kisses, making her giggle. You wished to hear that giggle for the rest of your life if you could.

She took a closer look at you. "You have to change your beanie!" she said, taking you off guard.

"Why? You don't like it? I'm not going for a wig if that's what you're asking."

"You're bringing an Adidas product into my home! Nike is better! Wait. I'll give you one of mine." She patted your leg for you to move, then got up and left for her room.

After a couple of seconds, she quickly came back to you, sat down on the couch, and urged you to get in the same position as before.

"Can I take the beanie off?" she asked you. It was going to be a big step for you, showing this kind of vulnerability to her. You knew she knew about your illness, but it still scared you that she would look at you differently.

You lightly nodded, and she slowly took the beanie off you, leaving your bare head on display. She gently caressed the back of your head. "How is this so smooth?" she stated jokingly. You smacked her head in response.

"You're an idiot. That's the same thing Ciro said to me," you chuckled.

"Joking aside, this right here is proof that you're one hell of a fighter, Y/n. Never forget that. The hair will eventually grow back, but your spirit and your will through this tough illness will make you even stronger." She picked up her Nike beanie and gently placed it on your head. "There you go. Definitely better." She gave you a soft kiss on your forehead and gently embraced you.

"I don't know how I got so lucky with you," you said gratefully.

"I'm the lucky one, believe me."

That night, you both remained awake until 2 AM. You told her everything about you—your first girlfriend, uni life and your relationship with Ciro and your mom. You wanted her to know everything about you and why you were the way you were.

In return, she told you everything about her life, why she loved football so much, and her deepest insecurities and fears. You both listened intently, deepening the bond that you had with each other. That conversation made you fall for her even more than before.

--

--

The next morning, Aitana headed to training with a newfound happiness. The night before had left her feeling incredibly content—words couldn't quite capture the depth of her emotions. Seeing you give her a proper chance filled her with immense gratitude.

Patience wasn't her strongest suit, but for you, she would have waited for years. In her mind, the connection that she felt with you wasn’t something that you could find with the first random person. It felt unique, but maybe all the new couples felt like this when they finally get togather.

As she entered the physio room for her session with Ciro before practice, she immediately noticed his new haircut.

"Whoa, new haircut? Looks sleek and aerodynamic!" she teased lightly.

"Is it that bad?" he asked, seemingly unfazed by her teasing.

"Just because you did it, and why you did it, it's perfect. I would've done it too if Y/n let me," she remarked.

"She would never. She'd be so mad!" Ciro chuckled.

"I know, right!"

His expression softened as he asked, "Y/n didn't come home last night. You guys talked?" Aitana felt a blush creep onto her cheeks, silently confirming his question. She sat down on the physio bed, and Ciro began working on her ankle.

"Should I give you the brother-in-law talk?" he asked, turning to her seriously.

"Whoa! A little too early for that. Give us at least a week!" she exclaimed, widening her eyes.

"Joking aside, I'm glad you didn't give up on her. It might not seem like it, but you've been helping her so much," Ciro remarked.

"You keep saying that, but in reality, I'm the one who needs her, not the opposite," Aitana admitted shyly.

"You're such a suck up!" Ciro joked, prompting Aitana to playfully push him off her ankle.

"That's not true! Without her, we both would be lost! Who would keep us in line?" Aitana retorted as Ciro finished taping her ankle. "You're good to go now."

-

During training, Aitana couldn't wipe the smile off her face, which caught the attention of her teammates, who were accustomed to her serious demeanor.

"Why are you so smiley?" Mapi asked, coming closer to her.

"No particular reason," Aitana lied.

"Does it have something to do with the art restorer?" Mapi pressed on.

"Maybe…" Aitana couldn't suppress the smile forming on her lips.

"She'd better treat you right," Mapi said protectively.

"She is."

"So when are you going to let us meet her properly?" Patri jumped into the conversation.

"I'll talk to her about it tonight," Aitana replied, thinking of the plans you two had after your chemo treatment.

"You never hang out with us anymore!"

"I do! It's just, I've been busy with—"

"Y/n, we know. You should take her out with us," Patri suggested.

"It's not that simple. I'll talk to her about it," Aitana said vaguely, refocusing on training.

-

After training, Aitana quickly showered, put on some sweats, and headed to the hospital to see you. As she entered your room, she found you surrounded by some friends, mostly middle-aged women with breast cancer, gossiping about the hot doctors in the oncology department and trying to set you up with their sons.

"Who's the lucky man?" Jimena, one of the women, asked curiously.

"Jimena, I'd rather not talk about my love life with chemicals running through my veins," you replied, trying to change the subject.

"I get it. Young love!" Jimena teased before Aitana came to your rescue with snacks. As she sat next to you, Jimena and the other women left you two alone to talk.

"Thank god you saved me, Tani. All these women were trying to fix me up with their sons," you whispered, greeting her with a kiss on the cheek.

"Were there any hot, rich contenders?" she asked playfully.

"Yeah! They were all rich entrepreneurs with abs of steel. One of them I think was an Espanyol player? He looked really hot," you teased her. Aitana was momentarily taken aback, but she quickly recovered.

"What? You thought I'd profess my undying love for you and tell you that you're my one and only," you joked, poking her side teasingly.

"I play for Barça and have abs of steel," she replied childishly, trying to one-up the fake contenders you'd invented.

"You're such a child, Tani! None of these fake contenders would stand a chance with you!" you smiled, finding her playful pout endearing.

"Say that I'm your one and only," she playfully prompts.

"You are my one and only," you humor her, lightly moving your body to give a kiss on her cheek. "Today." Another kiss. "Tomorrow." Another one. "The day after tomorrow." Yet another. "And all the days after that." One final kiss seals your declaration, and you see her satisfied look with a slight blush on her cheeks. "You just wanted a cheesy confession," you shake your head, smiling. "You're one little scrounger," you pinch her nose.

"You love it," she retorts.

"I do, but I'll be waiting for a cheesy love confession too."

-

As soon as you were done with the treatment, you decided to take a small walk, as the doctor advised. You headed to a nearby beach, deserted in January, leaving just the two of you.

"So, the team wants to meet you, like properly," she says, slightly nervous.

"Don't I meet them at your birthday party? In like a couple of weeks," you remind her.

"Well, yeah, I didn't actually think about that," she admits shyly.

"Why are you so nervous for me to meet your friends?" you ask, then realizing. "Is it because I have can—"

"Oh, god no! Never think that, okay?" She stops on her feet, turns to you, and gets shy again. "It's the first time I'm bringing a girl to meet them. I've always focused only on football until a couple of months ago—well, I ran into you. So now they're just really curious and they want to meet you."

"I'd love to meet your friends, Tani. You met Eva, so now it's my turn to meet your teammates."

"They can be a lot," she warns you.

"I think I can deal with it. Do they know I have cancer?" you ask.

"It's not my business to say."

"You should tell them. They'll probably call you crazy since you decided to get with a cancer patient. And they would be right," you giggle.

"You call it crazy. I call it just a shift of events. In the beginning, we'll live out the hard times, then we'll have the best times of our life. I'll take you to Japan, like you always wanted to, and you'll take me to Italy, and show me all of the art you restored there," she says hopefully. "And here's the cheesy love confession: I'm not very good at math, but I'm pretty good at figuring out that we belong together." Her unexpected pickup line makes you burst out in giggles. She then turns serious. "I really believe that we work out really well together, Y/n. Today. Tomorrow. The day after tomorrow. And all the days after that, I'll still believe that. So will you be my girlfriend, officially?"

"Damn, you actually are good at cheesy love confessions," you put your arms around her shoulders and pull her in for a hard kiss. She replies with the same kind of intensity and emotion.

"So it's a yes?"

"Yes," you say excitedly, going back to kiss her.

-

-

Aitana's birthday didn't start as you hoped. It was her first day off in a long time, and you wanted her to have a wonderful day. However, your plans were interrupted around 5 AM when you felt your mouth water, a sign of what was to come.

You rushed to the toilet and emptied your stomach, a common side effect of chemo but a first-time experience for you. After quickly brushing your teeth, you returned to bed, hoping it wouldn't recur. Aitana rolled over to your side and cuddled into you.

"Good morning," she whispered with a raspy voice.

"Good morning, birthday girl. Why are you up so early?" You kissed her scalp. "Go back to sleep." She relaxed against you, or rather, on top of you.

You didn't mind; you loved her cuddliness. Your hand found its way inside her shirt, soothingly rubbing her back until she drifted back to sleep.

She properly woke at 8 AM, and with some coaxing from you, you both headed to the kitchen for breakfast.

"What's the plan for today?" she asked.

"It's your birthday; whatever you want to do," you replied.

"I just want to spend it with you," she smiled goofily.

"You're such a sweet talker," you rolled your eyes.

"Since it's my birthday, you'll have to indulge me in everything," she said excitedly. "Even the most absurd things."

"What do you want?" You handed her a cup of coffee, relishing the domestic moment.

"I want a puppy," she said eagerly.

"Tani, mi amor, mi vida, mi alma, we are not getting a puppy."

"A kitten?" she suggested.

"Even worse."

"Okay, worth a shot," she said sadly, making you giggle.

"I'll give you all the kisses and cuddles you want?" you suggested.

"I think I can be satisfied with that," she said, pulling you onto her lap. "Starting with now." You shook your head amused, wrapping your arms around her shoulders and leaning in. "So I was thinking, let's have a lazy morning, then you'll take me out to lunch at that place we love so much, then in the afternoon, we'll go to the pet store and get a puppy."

"Aitana," you warned her.

"In the afternoon… we’ll figure it out then," she said.

"I have to go to the office for a couple of minutes this afternoon," you lied. You needed to get her present—a small bracelet— at home. You also had to call your doctor about what happened that morning and whether you should be worried.

Honestly, you weren't scared to meet her teammates; what scared you most were her childhood best friends. They knew her since elementary school and were extremely protective, those were the ones you really had to impress.

-

After lunch, you quickly excused yourself and got to your house to get Aitana’s bracelet, and then as a way to apologize you bought her some flowers before you got back to her.

As soon as you got inside her apartment, you heard so many voices, that you never heard of. Her friends were here. Fuck. You were not ready to meet them, you subconsciously fix your beanie, and walk through the door. You are quickly met with Aitana, who meets you at the door, wanting to greet you. As soon as she saw the flowers, her smile widened. 

“Hi, Tani. I wanted to apologize for not being here in the afternoon, so I bought you these.” You explained. Handing her the flowers, while she admired them.

“I love them, thank you so much.” She stands on her tippy toes to give you a kiss, which you gladly prolonged.

After a couple of seconds, she whispered, “My friends are here, they wanted to come earlier to say hi before the party. I’m sorry I should have told you.”

You swallowed hard, and tried to keep on a smile, you weren’t ready to meet them.

“Aitana? Is Y/n here?” A voice interrupted you from replying to your girlfriend.

“We are coming!” She tells him, while she takes your hand. “They are going to love you, just as much as I do.” She reassures you casually saying the last part without even realizing it. But you did.

Before she could drag you to her living room, you drag her closer to you, placing your hands on each side of her face, lightly caressing her cheeks, and give her one final lazy kiss. “Now we are ready to go.” She gives you one last reassuring smile and showed you to her friends.

“Pepe, Juan and Maria, I want you to meet Y/n.”

“So this is the girl who has been making our Aitana talk non-stop about! For a moment I thought that you were fake!” A guy offers his hand to shake. “Hi, I’m Pepe. Nice to meet you.”

“Y/n.” You shake his hand smiling. “Nice to meet you too, Pepe. I assure you, I’m very much real.”

“Good to know! Aitana’s been going on and on about you. I was starting to think she’d invented the perfect partner in her head.” The other guy Juan interjects.

“Well, I am far from perfect, your friend is the crazy one for keeping up with me!” You chuckle, smiling gratefully to Aitana

“I think you are the crazy one to keep up with her! She can be a hassle sometimes.” Pepe, teases you girlfriends, earning a death glare from her.

“Tell me about it! She’s competitive down to her bones, she never lets me win at anything!” You follow Pepe, making Aitana turn to you. “Don’t look at me like that! You got mad because I was better than you at doing my own job.” You reason.

-

After a couple of minutes, the teasing subsided, making Aitana little more relaxed, she hated when people teased her, something that you always did, because you found her pout to be extremely cute.

You knew that probably Aitana told them not to say anything to you about you having cancer, and even though you loved that she wanted to protect you, it wasn’t something to hide or to not talk about.

As soon as Aitana left to go to the bathroom, you turn to her friends, “I know that Aitana told you not to talk to me about my cancer. But if you have any questions you can ask.” You could see that they were surprised. 

Pepe exchanged a glare with his friends, “Nah, don’t worry. We are good. I know it must be hard for the both of you. But yeah, whatever you need, we are here. My mom had cancer, so I know how it feels like.”

“Plus, I’ve always known that Aitana had somewhat of a Nightingale Syndrome!” Juan joked, making you chuckle surprised.

“Its the only possible reasoning for her to get in a relationship with me.”

“Or maybe it’s because you make me really happy and feel supported?” Aitana walk to from the bathroom and finds her place next to you wrapping an arm around you waist, waiting for you to peck her lips, which you happily oblige.

“I still think it’s the Nightingale syndrome.” You chuckle. “Let’s hope you won’t forget about me when I’ll be cancer free.” 

“You should tie her down, so she’s stuck with you.” Pepe jokes.

“I can’t get you pregnant, I’ll just have to find another way.” You think. 

“I hate this coalition against me. A I don’t have Nightingale syndrome. B, today is supposed to be my birthday, NOT tease Aitana day.”

“We are so sorry.” You give her a kiss on the cheek. “I’ll never tease you again.” You lie. “Now if you let me, I’ll steal away Tani for a moment.” You take her hand and drag her to her bedroom, where you had her birthday gift.

“So I know, you told not to buy you anything, but I wanted to give you a little present. And no it’s not a puppy.”

You give her a little box. “So I know that you can’t have bracelets on you, because of football, so I found a knot that you can easily take off and put on.” She opens the box, it was a red string bracelet, which was thought to bring protection and luck. “I know you don’t like ostentatious stuff, so I went with something simple.”

“I love it. Thank you so much.” She hugged you tightly, filling your necks with small pecks. “I can wear bracelets, I’ll just have to cover it when I have a match. Can you put it on for me?”

You gently put it on for her, while she happily admires it. 

“Is it okay? I didn’t know what to gift you.” You tell her. “You have some pretty difficult taste in stuff.” You chuckle.

“I love it, really. I’ll wear it on, so that I can have a reminder of you, whenever I’m away.” She beams.

“Always so cheesy.” You kiss her lips. “I like you really really much, you know that?” You tell her.

—

Her birthday party was set to be at her house because going out was too risky—you couldn’t afford to get sick. Despite your insistence that she do whatever she wanted, she said if it were up to her, she’d spend her birthday just with you. Everyone would be coming over at 8 PM, so you had a couple of hours to get ready.

Your whole body was aching: your joints, your head, your throat—everything. But you promised yourself that it was Aitana’s day, so you’d endure the pain for her happiness. You took some painkillers, but since you weren’t used to them, they made you drowsy.

You decided to wear something simple: jeans and one of Aitana’s shirts. You loved wearing her shirts because they smelled like her, and you loved her reaction when she saw you in them. Today was no exception.

“Comfy?” she asked, emerging from the bathroom into her room where you were changing. Even though you’d been together for over two months, you hadn’t taken the next step in your relationship. Since you started chemo, your sex drive had plummeted, and you’d stopped having periods.

Aitana never brought it up, knowing it should come from you. You appreciated that she never pressured you or made you uncomfortable, but sometimes your mind would twist things, making you think she didn’t touch you because she didn’t want to. This insecurity often resurfaced at the worst times, especially when meeting people from Aitana’s life and presenting yourself as a fragile cancer patient.

“Yes, very much, thank you,” you chuckle. She rounds the bed to get closer, wrapping you in a big hug from behind.

“It’s annoying that you look better in my clothes than I do. We should swap closets,” she says, giving you a sweet kiss on the cheek that makes you blush. “You look beautiful.” She turns you around and gives you a searing kiss, making your knees nearly give out. You open your eyes to see how she’s dressed.

“Even though I’m sure you could make a trash bag look hot, you look stunning tonight,”  you reply, smiling proudly. She wasn’t wearing something that elaborate, a simple dress, but it was more than enough for her to look even more beautiful than she already was. Sometimes you couldn’t believe you were lucky enough to have a girlfriend like her.

“I didn’t overdo it, right?” she asks, sounding insecure.

“Tani, it’s your birthday. Everyone else should adjust to how you dress,” you reassure her. “Ready to go to the living room?” You offer her your hand.

She takes it but swiftly throws you onto the bed, making you squeal in surprise. She giggles and plops on top of you. Thank God for those painkillers. “No, I want to stay here with you! You’re comfy, and you promised unlimited kisses and cuddles,” she whines.

You chuckle, gently scratching her scalp. She loved head scratches.

After a while, with Aitana rambling about the upcoming weeks, she suddenly stops and looks at you seriously. You tilt your head, curious and a bit worried.

“What?”

“Can I feel it?” she asks.

“Feel what?” you ask, raising an eyebrow.

“The lump on your neck,” she whispers. You pat her side to make her sit up.

“I don’t think it’s the right time. I don’t want to change your mood,” you argue weakly.

“You never let me kiss or touch that side of your neck,” she says, looking down at her hands.

“Because it feels worse than it looks, and I don’t want you to freak out.”

“I want to be able to touch all of you.” You raise an eyebrow suggestively. “Okay, that sounded bad. I apologize,” she chuckles. “But you know what I mean.”

You nod, gently taking her right arm. “Are you sure?” She nods. You guide her hand to your neck. Your eyes twitch as she touches the lump.

“It feels... different than I expected,” she murmurs, her fingertips lingering on the lump, exploring it with careful curiosity. You watch her, your heart heavy, knowing she’s grappling with the reality of it.

“Yeah, it’s not just in our heads,” you say softly, trying to keep your voice steady. Her eyes meet yours, showing a mix of fear and determination.

“It’s real,” she whispers, her voice catching. “I mean, I knew it was, but feeling it... it makes it so real.”

You nod, feeling a lump forming in your throat. “Yeah. It’s real.”

“But we’ll fight this, okay?” she says, a determined spark in her eyes giving you hope. “I’ll be by your side.”

You nod, feeling the lump in your throat tighten. “Mark my words, if we get through this, I’ll be the most supportive, fun, and grateful girlfriend you deserve. You make me so happy. I just want you to have some happiness, Tani,” you say, feeling deflated.

“I don’t need anything else,” she replies, her voice soft but firm. “Your happiness is my happiness. We’re in this together. You’re stuck with me, and we’ll come out stronger on the other side. Together.”

You squeeze her hand, drawing strength from her unwavering resolve. “Together,” you echo.

She smiles, a mix of determination and love. “Every step of the way. And when this is over, we’ll take those trips to Japan and Italy we planned, and then we’ll have our happy days, cari. But for now, we take it one day at a time.”

You nod, feeling a sense of peace settle over you. “One day at a time.” You pause. “You’d tell me if it’s too much, right?”

“It’s not too much, cari.” Sensing your distress, she reassures you. “But yes, I’ll tell you if something changes.”

You give her a final hug, trying to pour all your gratitude into it. “Now, why don’t we go downstairs before one of your friends starts thinking we’re hooking up,” you say, lightening the mood as you pull away.

You head downstairs, and as you pass her friends on your way to the living room, you catch their suggestive smirks, making you blush lightly while Aitana rolls her eyes at them. You help her get everything ready and wait for the rest of the guests to arrive.

You figured her teammates knew about your cancer because when they arrived, they weren't shocked to see you without hair and visibly more tired. Aitana vividly remembered how that conversation went down.

-

It was three days before her birthday, and Aitana was in the changing room, telling her team about the small get-together she was planning at her home.

“If you want to come, I’m having a small party at my house for my birthday,” she said, inviting everyone. She knew most of the younger girls, except for Pina, Jana, and Bruna, probably wouldn’t show up.

“At home? Don’t you usually do it at a restaurant? Did you have trouble booking a place?” someone asked as most of the uninterested teammates left, leaving Aitana with her captains, the Norwegians, Mapi, Patri, the youngsters, and Rölfo.

“I’d rather do it at home. It’s quieter and we don’t have to overpay for drinks,” she said, making up an excuse. In reality, she knew you couldn’t risk going out to crowded places because of your condition. She preferred to spend her birthday with you.

“I think this has something to do with Y/n. Is she making you stay at home? Is she really jealous or something?” Patri asked, sounding more accusatory than curious.

“Y/n? She’s not that jealous. Why do I get the feeling you don’t like her?” Aitana asked, her tone a mix of curiosity and concern, shifting uncomfortably on her bench.

“We know she must be great, but since you got together, you never hang out with us anymore. You don’t stay after training or join us for breakfast. We’re just worried about you getting too wrapped up in the relationship,” Alexia said, her voice full of concern and care.

“She’s not making me stay home. I basically force her to hang out with me. If she knew I was skipping hangouts, she’d force me to go out with you guys,” Aitana defended your intentions, trying to make them understand you weren’t restricting her.

“Then why don’t you hang out with us anymore?” Patri pressed. “Did we do something wrong?”

Aitana sighed, feeling the weight of her friends' concerns. She knew they meant well but didn’t understand the full picture. “No, you didn’t do anything wrong. It’s not about you. It’s just... Y/n has been going through a lot.” Her friends’ confused expressions spurred her on. “Y/n has cancer. And before you say anything, I knew before we got together.”

The room fell silent. Mapi’s eyes widened with shock and empathy. “Aitana, we had no idea. I’m so sorry. Why didn’t you tell us?”

“At first, I thought it was Y/n’s right to tell who she wanted about her cancer, but then she said it was best if you knew, since you’d probably meet her properly someday.”

Patri nodded, her skepticism replaced with concern. “We’re sorry if we made you feel judged. We just miss you and want to be there for you. How can we help?”

Aitana chuckled. “Well, unless you can find a magical cure for cancer, there’s not much you can do. But if it’s not too much to ask, just being there for us would mean the world.”

-

As soon as they saw you hand in hand with Aitana, two girls approached you. One was insanely tall, and the other had tattoos all over her arms.

“Hi, you must be Y/N?” the tall one said.

“Yeah, that’s me. You must be Ingrid and Mapi, right?” you asked, shaking their hands.

You noticed Mapi’s tattoos and recognized some of the designs. “I love your tattoos. Do you go to Javi?”

“Yeah! How did you know?” she looked surprised.

“We went to school together. He’s one of my best friends. I helped him out with some designs.”

“Oh, that’s awesome! He mentioned a friend helped with some designs, but I never imagined it was you,” Mapi exclaimed, her eyes lighting up with excitement. “Javi is amazing. He did this sleeve for me,” she said, showing off the intricate designs on her arm. “It’s one of my favorites.”

You recognized some of your own designs. “I did the skull with the lightbulb and the squirrel!”

“Oh, that’s so cool!” Mapi said excitedly. “The skull with the lightbulb is one of my favorites. And the squirrel is such a fun piece!”

You smiled, feeling proud. “I’m really glad you like them. It’s always nice to see my work out in the world.”

Aitana turned to you with a surprised smile. “I didn’t know you could draw!”

You shrugged modestly, feeling bashful under Aitana’s gaze. “It’s just a hobby. Javi and I used to spend hours sketching together before getting busy with work.”

Ingrid looked impressed. “A hobby? You’ve got real talent. You should definitely do more with it. I know for sure that Mapi would love a few more tattoos.”

“Do you have any tattoos?” Mapi asked curiously.

You blushed lightly. “I have three.” Aitana's head snapped towards you, her eyes wide with surprise.

“What?!” she exclaimed. “I’ve never seen them.”

“Don’t act too surprised, Tani. They’re well hidden.” You turned to Mapi and Ingrid, who were waiting for you to continue. “I have one that’s a one-inch line from my favorite movie, *V for Vendetta*: The second one is a quote, and the third... well, it’s a bit more hidden. Let’s just say that.” You winked at Aitana.

You got your first two tattoos when you were 18. The first was significant to you, a permanent reminder of something important. The second was more cheeky, known only to those who’ve seen you naked and your friend Eva. It was a small outline of a heart on one of your ass cheeks. Your third tattoo was one of your favorite quotes from the painter Artemisia Gentileschi: “You will find the spirit of Caesar in this soul of a woman.”

Aitana looked like she wanted to say more, but as soon as you saw Ciro come inside, you quickly excused yourself to greet him.

“I’m going to say hi to Ciro.” You turned to Aitana, giving her a lingering kiss, not too long to draw attention. Then you turned to her teammates. “It was lovely to meet you guys. I hope we can talk more about some tattoo ideas.” You walked away, hugging your brother.

Mapi and Ingrid turned to Aitana, who was still looking at you, smiling to herself.

Ingrid chuckled at Aitana’s state, making her turn her attention to her teammates. “Sorry.” She bowed her head, her cheeks turning rosy. “You really love her, don’t you?”

Aitana’s blush deepened, and she couldn’t help but smile even wider. “Yeah, I really do,” she admitted warmly. “She’s amazing. I’m still finding out new things about her every day, and I love it. Plus, she’s so strong and fearless.” She glanced at you, laughing with your brother. “I can’t believe she’s my girl. She’s just incredible.”

“And so hot!” Mapi said without thinking, earning a death glare from her own girlfriend.

“She is! It’s so frustrating sometimes,” Aitana agreed, laughing.

-

Meanwhile, you were grabbing drinks with Ciro when the nausea hit again. Not wanting to make a scene, you excused yourself and headed to the bathroom to throw up. Ciro quickly noticed something was wrong and followed you.

He knocked on the door. "It's Ciro, can you let me in?"

You sighed and unlocked the door. Another wave of nausea hit, and you doubled over the toilet, trying to keep quiet. Ciro crouched next to you, rubbing your back soothingly. Once the wave passed, you leaned back against the wall, exhausted.

"Y/N, this is serious," Ciro said quietly, concern on his face. "You need to tell Aitana."

You shook your head weakly. "Not tonight, Ciro. It's her birthday party. I don't want to ruin it."

"How long has this been going on?" he asked, continuing to rub your back.

"Since this morning. I took a painkiller because all my joints are killing me. Why did it have to be today?" You looked up at the ceiling, exasperated.

Ciro sighed deeply. "Y/N, you can't keep pushing yourself like this. You need to take care of yourself, even if it means taking a step back tonight."

You nodded, feeling the weight of his words. "I know, Ciro. But I just want Aitana to have a perfect night. She's been looking forward to this for so long."

Ciro gave you a sympathetic look. "I get it. But she loves you and would want you to be okay more than anything else. Let's get you through tonight, and then you need to rest. Promise me."

"Okay," you agreed reluctantly. "I promise."

Ciro helped you to your feet, and you steadied yourself before brushing your teeth. You tried to put on a brave face, but the exhaustion and nausea were hard to hide.

As you reentered the party, Aitana immediately noticed something was off. She walked over, concern on her face. "Hey, are you sure you're okay? You don't look well."

You gave her a reassuring smile, even though you felt far from it. "I'm okay, just a bit tired. Don't worry about me, let's enjoy your party."

You went to the kitchen for some water and then stepped outside for fresh air. Ciro followed, keeping an eye on you.

Outside, you lit a cigarette, something you hadn't done in years, and slowly inhaled, feeling a calming effect. You knew it was wrong, but you needed some relief.

“You must be the art restorer?” one of Aitana’s teammates asked.

You turned to her. “That’s me.”

“I’m Alexia.”

"Tani’s team captain. I’ve heard about you… Please don’t tell her I smoke. It’s my first in years."

“Do you have another one?” she asked, surprising you with the request.

You hesitated before handing her the pack. Alexia took one and lit it, taking a slow drag before exhaling. The two of you stood in silence for a moment, the cool night air providing some relief.

"Thanks," Alexia said softly. "I won't tell Aitana. We all have our vices."

You nodded, taking another drag. "Yeah, we do."

Alexia studied you for a moment. "So, how long have you been an art restorer?"

You smiled, grateful for the distraction. "About six years now. It's my passion, bringing old pieces back to life."

She nodded appreciatively. "That's really cool. Aitana talks about you all the time. It's obvious how much she cares about you."

Your heart ached at her words. "I care about her too. More than anything."

Alexia smiled, taking another drag. "It's great to see. She's special, and she deserves someone who loves her as much as you do."

You nodded, feeling the weight of your secret pressing on you. The night air, mixed with the cigarette smoke, made you slightly dizzy, but you steadied yourself. "Thanks, Alexia. That means a lot coming from you."

The two of you stood in comfortable silence for a while, just taking in the night and the muffled sounds of the party inside.

"So, what brought you out here, really?" Alexia asked, breaking the silence. "You don't seem like the type to sneak out for a smoke."

You hesitated, the truth bubbling up inside you. "I hate meeting new people. I have to charge my social battery." You chuckled.

“Tell me about it. I have to endure hours of media every week.”

You both finished your cigarettes. Alexia handed you a mint chewing gum, and the two of you headed back inside.

Everyone was mingling in small groups. You were about to speak when you felt a body collide with yours in a hug.

“Damn, Tani, you still have energy at 11 PM!” You chuckled, pulling her into a tight hug.

She shrugged. “I was searching for you everywhere. I missed you!”

“I was with Alexia, getting some fresh air, Tani,” you reassured her. You could see in her eyes that she wanted some attention, so you quickly said your goodbyes to Alexia and focused on the birthday girl.

She took your hand and led you to the living room, where some friends were chatting. She sat down on the couch and pulled you onto her lap, circling her arms around your waist.

"You know, I think I missed you more," you teased, leaning in to kiss her softly.

Aitana laughed, her eyes twinkling. "That's impossible. But I'll let you think that."

The warmth of her embrace and the lively chatter around you made it easier to forget about everything else for a moment. You nestled into her, feeling the steady rhythm of her heartbeat against your back.

The room was filled with laughter and light, and for a while, you allowed yourself to relax and enjoy the festivities.

“So, tell me more about this art restoration,” Fridolina, one of Aitana’s friends, piped up. “I’ve always been fascinated by that kind of work.”

You smiled, grateful for the distraction. “It’s incredibly rewarding. There’s something magical about bringing old, forgotten pieces back to life.”

“That sounds amazing,” Ingrid chimed in, her eyes wide with interest. “Do you have a favorite piece you’ve worked on?”

You thought for a moment. “There was this old Renaissance painting that came into the studio a few years ago. It was in terrible shape, covered in grime and with a lot of damage. It was from Artemisia Gentileschi, a very particular painter. She was one of the few female artists of her time, and her works are incredibly powerful and brutal. Restoring her painting felt like reviving a piece of her story.”

Aitana’s friends listened intently, clearly captivated by your passion. Aitana squeezed your hand, her pride in you evident.

"Which painting was it?" Fridolina asked, leaning forward with interest.

"It was 'Judith Slaying Holofernes.' The details, the intensity in Judith’s expression, and the dramatic use of light and shadow—it’s breathtaking. Bringing that piece back to its original glory was one of the most fulfilling experiences of my career."

"Wow," Ingrid said, visibly impressed. "It must be amazing to see the transformation up close."

"It is," you agreed. "There’s something almost intimate about it, like connecting with the artist across centuries."

The conversation flowed easily, with Aitana’s friends asking more questions about your work and sharing their own interests. The night wore on, filled with laughter and joy.

As the party began to wind down and the majority of the guests left, you found a quiet moment with Aitana on the balcony. The city lights illuminated the ambient below, and a gentle breeze rustled the leaves around you.

“Thank you for tonight. I know you were feeling sick and kept going for me. Next time, please don’t do it.”

You gave her a reassuring smile, taking her hands in yours. “I wanted to be here for you, Tani. You mean the world to me. But I promise, I’ll take better care of myself. I won’t push it next time.”

She sighed, leaning her head on your shoulder. “I just worry about you. I want you to be okay.”

“I know, and I appreciate it,” you said, kissing the top of her head. “I’ll be more careful. I don’t want to worry you.”

Aitana looked up at you, her eyes filled with love and concern. “I just don’t want to lose you.”

“You won’t,” you whispered, pulling her into a tight embrace. “We’ll get through this together, I promise.”

The two of you stood there for a while, wrapped in each other’s arms, finding solace in the quiet night and the love you shared. Despite the challenges ahead, you felt a renewed sense of strength and determination, knowing that you had Aitana by your side.

After a few moments, Aitana pulled back slightly and looked into your eyes. “Let’s go inside and get some rest. You need it.”

You nodded, feeling the weight of exhaustion settling in. “Yeah, that sounds like a good idea.”

As you walked back into the apartment, you couldn’t help but feel grateful for Aitana and the love you shared. It gave you the strength to face whatever lay ahead, knowing that together, you could overcome anything.

You both went to the bedroom and got ready to sleep. You wore one of Aitana’s joggers and a shirt you brought for the sleepover. Aitana came out from the bathroom after getting into her sleepwear and sat on the bed, taking off her earrings.

After a couple of minutes, she turned to you, seeing you already sitting on the bed, setting your alarm clock. She rolled over to you with a waiting gaze, clearly wanting to ask you something.

“What?”

“You could have told me that you had three tattoos.” She pouted slightly.

“Well, you never asked.” You smirked playfully.

“Now I’m asking. Can I see them?”

You hesitated. Your first tattoo, the line, was right under your breast, the second one was on your side, and the third... you definitely wanted to wait for her to see it.

You were nervous about showing her your body, as she had never seen you without a shirt on. The changes from cancer and seeing Aitana’s teammates tonight had made you feel inadequate. 

Aitana noticed your hesitation, her expression softening. “Hey, it’s okay. You don’t have to show me if you’re not comfortable,” she said gently, reaching out to take your hand.

You took a deep breath, deciding to take a step forward in vulnerability. “It’s not that I don’t want to show you… it’s just, you’ve never seen me without a shirt, so I guess I’m a little bit scared?” You tried to be honest with her.

Aitana’s eyes widened in surprise and concern. “Why would you be scared? I think you are beautiful, both in and out.”

You looked down, feeling a lump in your throat. “My body… it’s changed a lot because of the cancer. I don’t look the same as I used to, and seeing your teammates tonight just made me feel… inadequate.”

Aitana’s grip on your hand tightened, and she pulled you into a hug. “Y/N, you’re beautiful to me. You’ve been through so much, and I admire your strength. I don’t care about how your body looks; I care about you, the person I fell in love with.”

Her words were like a balm to your anxious mind. You took another deep breath and decided to trust her completely. “Okay. I’ll show you.”

You raised your shirt, stopping just before your breast, showing her the first tattoo. She lightly traced the ink with adoration.

“The second one is on the side, it’s a quote.” You revealed it. “Troverete lo spirito di Cesare in questa anima di donna.” You repeated the quote. “Which means: You will find the spirit of Caesar in this soul of a woman.” She lightly caressed your side where the quote showed.

“They are all beautiful. Damn, I didn’t think you’d be someone who had tattoos.”

“I guess you don’t know everything about me then.”

“What about your third?”

“Well, that one I got on a whim. Not many people have seen it.” You smirked suggestively.

“Well, now I’m curious.” She was intrigued.

“I won’t show it to you now if that’s what you’re asking.”

“Okay, okay, I respect that. I am a very patient woman; I’ll wait. Can you just tell me where it is?” She pleaded curiously.

“I’ll tell you this, the only people who have seen it are Eva, because I was with her when I got it, and the people who have seen me naked.”

Aitana's eyes widened with curiosity and a hint of playfulness. "Well, now you have me even more intrigued," she said, chuckling. "But I can wait. It’ll make it all the more special when I do see it."

You smiled, feeling a warmth spread through you at her words. Her understanding and patience were just a few of the many reasons you loved her so much. "I promise you’ll see it when the time is right," you said softly.

Aitana leaned in and kissed you gently. "I look forward to it. Thank you for sharing this with me tonight. It means a lot.”

As you both settled into bed, you positioned yourself on top of her to give her one final kiss. “Good night, Tani. I hope you had fun tonight.” You rolled over to your side, getting into a comfy position to sleep, while your girlfriend was already half asleep.

She replied lazily and almost unconsciously. “I had fun, good night Cari. I love you.” You widened your eyes as a smile crept on your cheeks.

-

Three months into your relationship, you couldn’t be happier. Your cancer was receding, and you were nearly finished with your fifth cycle of chemo before discussing the next steps with your doctor.

Three days before Aitana was set to leave for Bilbao for the Copa de la Reina semi-final, you visited the doctor’s office. Ciro took a day off work to accompany you. Your oncologist, who was serious but supportive, greeted you.

“So, Y/N, I have good news and bad news.” Your heart skipped a beat. “Good news: your cancer is receding. The treatment is going great, and I think we should operate, perform a thyroidectomy as soon as possible. Thursday would be ideal.”

You sighed in relief, almost at the end of this ordeal.

“The bad news is the position of the cancer. We might be able to remove it completely, but there are risks. Your cancer is very close to your vocal cords. You might lose your voice.”

You had never considered that possibility. “What’s the probability it might go wrong?” you asked fearfully.

“30%. I know it’s a significant risk, but it’s the best solution. We can fully remove it. No more chemo, no more suffering.” Seeing your hesitation, he added, “I won’t ask you to decide right now. Take some hours to think about it. But the sooner we act, the better.”

Your doctor left the room to give you some privacy.

You turned to Ciro. “I don’t think there’s any real choice, is there?”

“No, there isn’t, but that doesn’t make it any easier.”

After informing your doctor that you agreed to the operation, you headed home, while Ciro had to return to work for training. 

Thirty minutes later, you heard a knock on your door. Knowing it was probably Aitana, you opened it to find her holding a beautiful bouquet of flowers that hid her face. She peeked out, her eyes sparkling with excitement. “Surprise!” she said, handing you the flowers.

You hugged her. “You really know how to make a girl swoon, Tani.”

“Only for you.” You took the flowers and kissed her in gratitude.

You led her inside and prepared a snack for both of you. She sat on the couch, waiting. As you sat down next to her, she leaned in for another kiss. “What was that for?” you asked.

“Can’t I kiss my beautiful girlfriend?”

“Anytime you like.”

“How was the doctor’s appointment?” she asked as you cuddled up.

You sat up. “The treatment is working, and they want to operate. My cancer is receding, and it might go away completely with the operation.” Your tone wasn’t as optimistic as your words.

She sensed there was more. “That’s great! But why do you look so worried? Is there a but?”

“Two. First, the surgery is on Thursday during the Copa de la Reina semi-final. And before you say anything, no, I won’t let you skip it. You’ve already missed two matches because of me, without even telling me.”

“And the other?” she asked, defeated.

“I might lose my voice.”

Aitana’s eyes widened with concern. “But if it’s your best shot at beating cancer, wouldn’t you take it?”

“I’ve already agreed, Aitana. But that’s not the point. Promise me something?”

“Anything,” she said seriously.

"You'll leave me if I lose my voice, okay?"

She blinked, taken aback. "What?"

"I don’t want you to be with someone you have to constantly take care of. You deserve so much better."

"No, no, no," she said, shaking her head and taking your hands. "You can’t ask me that. I won’t leave you. You’re stuck with me, okay?"

You chuckled, feeling a lump in your throat. "I’m doing this for you. This is an out. Why can’t you take it?"

"Because I don’t want to!" she said, almost angrily. "Don’t push me away, please."

"I’m not pushing you away. I’m doing this for you. You deserve better. You deserve someone who can give you everything. And right now, I can’t. For god’s sake, we’ve been together for five months, and I can’t even take my shirt off in front of you!" you reasoned, your frustration mounting.

She looked shocked, almost taken aback. "Is... Is this about sex?"

You hid your face in your palms. "No... I mean... I don’t know," you stuttered.

"No. No, Cari, sex has never been an issue for me. You’re going through cancer; it’s normal that you don’t want to have sex."

"I know, but what about your needs?"

"My needs? I’ve waited eighteen years of my life without sex. I can deal with waiting for a while," she reassured you. "Plus, the wait will make it even better!"

"You know, I’d get it if you wanted to find someone else to be physical with. I wouldn’t blame you."

"And kiss someone else? Touch someone else? Make someone else feel good? Never," she reassured you. "You are the most beautiful girl I have ever seen. You make me so happy. Why would I jeopardize that for some fleeting pleasure?"

"You always say that I’m beautiful. But... Do you find me hot?" you almost whispered the last part.

Aitana's expression softened, and she cupped your face gently, her thumb tracing your cheek. 

"Y/N, you are the most gorgeous person I know. You’re beautiful, inside and out. And yes, I find you incredibly hot."

You still looked unconvinced, so she quickly made you sit on her lap and unzipped her hoodie, remaining in her shirt. She took your hand and guided it inside her shirt next to her heart. It was beating fast.

"Do you feel it? This is what you do to me. Whenever you sit on my lap or nibble that part of my ear that you know is so sensitive, you make my heart race out of proportion. And so fucking wet that it hurts sometimes." You chuckled, feeling her heart pounding. "Don’t ever doubt my attraction or my loyalty towards you," she told you firmly, making you believe her. You nodded. "And don’t you dare think for even a minute that I’ll leave you if you lose your voice. We’re in this together, and we’ll find a solution together," she said resolutely.

-

-

On Wednesday, the day before the game, Aitana brought you to the hospital and helped you check in. 

You sat on the hospital bed, waiting for your doctor. "I’ll be here as soon as the game finishes, okay? Tell Ciro to send me updates, or else I’ll kill him." She kissed your temple and was about to leave when you took her hand to stop her.

"I want to tell you something. Maybe tomorrow I won’t be able to. I know I’ve never said it; I’ve always waited."

"You’ll tell me when I get back."

"No, please, Tani, let me say it. I wouldn’t forgive myself if I didn’t tell you right now." She nodded. "I love you, Aitana Bonmatí. Today, tomorrow, the day after tomorrow, and all the days after that."

"I love you too, Cari." She rubbed her nose against yours and kissed you on the lips. 

"Go and beat Athletic’s club ass, okay?”

--

Needless to say, until she saw you again, Aitana couldn’t keep her mind off you. Her teammates noticed she wasn't focused on the game, and Mapi pulled her aside during the warm-up.

"Hey, Aitana, are you okay?" Fridolina asked, concern evident in her voice.

Aitana sighed, running a hand through her hair. "No, not really. Y/N is having surgery right now, and I can't stop thinking about it. I'm worried."

Frido placed a comforting hand on Aitana's shoulder. "I get it, but you have to try and focus on the game for now. She'd want you to give it your all out there. Besides, we're all here for you. If you need anything, just let us know."

Aitana nodded, taking a deep breath. "Thanks, Frido. I'll try my best."

As the game progressed, Aitana pushed herself to concentrate, channeling her anxiety into her performance. Every time she made a play, she thought of you, imagining how proud you'd be. Despite the distraction, she played one of her best games, driven by the desire to make you proud.

When the final whistle blew, Barcelona had secured a resounding victory. Aitana immediately checked her phone, finding a message from Ciro: “Surgery is done. We don’t know anything right now.”

Fear washed over her, and her hands started to tremble as her mind filled with what-ifs. She looked down at the bracelet you had gifted her, seeking comfort. She couldn’t lose you. Most importantly, she needed to get back to you.

She got on the first plane and left for Barcelona.

[lumi-nescentt]

Electric Touch

Part 1 - What Would You Do If I Went To Touch You Now

Pairing: Lando Norris x Reader

Warnings: none

Words: 1.7k

Summary: y/n's affection for Lando hasn't gone unnoticed by the Australians she works with but despite their encouragement, she's convinced that finding things to dislike about Lando is the only way to save herself and her job.

A/N: Well hello there, it's been quite a while. I've been terribly busy with school things but I'm finally free so I'm gonna try and start posting again. Most of my WIP are xmas' themed (that's how long I haven't written for) but I have other ideas so bear with me pls :)

After joining McLaren in 2021 as Daniel’s PR manager, the girl had found a routine in her work with the papaya team, some comfort and calm in a world that always seemed rapid. That had, however, all been blown to pieces when Daniel had announced he wasn’t coming back the year after. With this new piece of information had come the sadness of losing someone she had grown accustomed to calling a friend more than a coworker but also the uncertainty of her place within the team without the Australian.  

Luckily for her, the arrival of a rookie in the team also meant that the PR manager position she was occupying was still available and so she kept her job. If Oscar and Daniel were both Australian, the resemblance pretty much stopped there. Where Daniel was all loud laughs and obnoxious jokes, Oscar was quieter and understanding his humour had taken some time. 

Despite that, Oscar and y/n became friends quickly. The girl was always there for him when the car wasn’t working like Zak had promised it would and even when they had media to attend and her work should have been her priority, she always made sure Oscar was 100% okay before sending him into the lion’s den. It made her a good PR manager and an even better friend. 

Being level-headed was a necessary part of the job and y/n liked to pride herself in how well she dealt with tricky situations without ever losing her cool or at least without showing any signs of it. It seemed like nothing or nobody could crack her. Except one person with a dimpled smile and green eyes that mostly sparkled with a hint of mischief whenever their eyes met.  

Falling for someone who worked for the same team had never been in y/n’s plans, especially not falling for a driver and yet that was the predicament she was in now.

From the moment Lando had grown out of his timid shell, y/n had known she was done for. Lando was everything she liked in a person, he was funny, kind, smart and so beautiful it made her head spin. If the situation had been different, maybe she would have allowed herself to feel like that but she couldn’t risk her job for what she hoped was some silly crush that would pass. 

However, the crush never faded and the more time passed, the more she found to like about Lando. She tried her best to ignore him, to ignore how her stomach felt when he was around and how she seemed to just forget how to act, how to be when he was close. She had hoped no one would notice it but the problem with spending so much time with a driver was that they got pretty good at reading you over time. 

Daniel had caught on exactly as it happened and he had teased her relentlessly for it when he knew she was in the mood for that. When he noticed how she was beating herself up over something she couldn’t control, Daniel offered a reassuring smile and a hug, reminding her that she was only human and having feelings for someone, no matter how great they were, wasn’t worth getting all worked up about and feeling guilty for.  

For the two years they worked together, Daniel tried to convince her to shoot her shot because if the longing glances his teammate was always throwing their way said something, it was that Lando was in the same predicament as her. No matter how insistent the Australian was, y/n never agreed to do anything to make her feelings known or even test the water with Lando.

In the end, Daniel gave up on her side and instead tried to convince Lando to do something. Just like she didn’t believe Daniel, Lando didn’t believe him when he told her that making a move was a good idea. Lando wasn’t confident enough to risk getting rejected, especially by someone he saw every time they were at the track. Before the Australian could make what he thought was a great love story happen, he stepped down from F1 and despite being a reserve driver for half of the season, he wasn’t there or had enough time to play Cupid so he just prayed that the two idiots he called his friends would wake up one day and realise how stupid they were being. 

When Oscar took his seat and started hanging out with the two of them, it didn’t take him long to put two and two together and realise that they were both painfully into each other but too blinded by their fears to actually see the whole picture. He found it sweet at first how Lando would always keep a seat for y/n in meetings, acting like he hadn’t meant to when she came in or how he would always make sure her favourite coffee was available in the McLaren hospitality when she worked trackside. He could tell that despite being scared, Lando desperately wanted something to happen. All the Brit needed was a little push and Oscar was determined to be the one to do it. 

When Oscar had told y/n that he knew about her feelings for Lando, she had wanted the ground to swallow her whole right this instant. Working with a new driver that didn’t know her or Lando had let her hope that she could pretend easily but Oscar wasn’t blind. The girl had immediately answered that her feelings would soon be old news because she had made a plan to be over Lando by the end of the 2024 season. 

Her so-called genius plan was simple: if she managed to find things to dislike in Lando, enough for her to have the ick, her feelings would certainly go away all at once. So this season, she was determined to pay attention to Lando’s every move and find negative things to say about it. Despite thinking that the plan was terrible and wasn’t going to work, Oscar knew he had to somehow warn Lando. He couldn’t break her trust by telling him so he had to convince Lando that he absolutely needed to make a move before somebody else did and stole y/n’s heart away. 

Oscar decided to start his master plan before they filmed a few challenges for McLaren’s youtube channel. Lando and him were hanging out in an empty meeting room, waiting for the shooting to start so it was the perfect opportunity to talk freely.

-“  I think Logan has a crush on someone at McLaren.” Oscar stated out of nowhere

-“ Why do you think that ?” 

-“ He’s always hanging around the garage. He says he’s there to see me but he doesn’t really talk to me when he’s here. He mostly talks to y/n. Actually, he only talks to her.”

-“ So you’re saying he’s interested in her ?” 

-“ I think so. We never really talked about this kind of thing but it looks like it.” Oscar lied, knowing he would have to warn the American about the lie he had just fed Lando

-“ Oh, okay.” Lando paused, toying with the hem of his sleeves “ Do you think she likes him back ?” 

-“ I don’t know if he’s her type but I don’t see why she wouldn’t. She’s always with me and Logan is too so that has to mean that she enjoys his company a little. Otherwise she wouldn’t hang out with us.” 

-“ Did she ever talk to you about her dating life and stuff ?” Lando asked, trying to look uninterested 

-“ Well, I know she’s pretty shy so she’s not one to make the first move, even if she likes a guy.”

-“ Yeah that sounds like her.” he smiled fondly, remembering how she had been her first days at McLaren, all soft spoken and keeping to herself, not wanting to bother anyone

-“ So, let’s say if somebody likes her, he better make a move soon because she’s not going to do it herself and also there’s other people who may be interested…” 

-“ What are you insinuating, Oscar ?”

-“ What do you think ?”

-“ I do not like y/n like that.” Lando argued

-“ So it wouldn’t bother you if I set them up on a date, then ?” Oscar said, pretending to take out his phone to text either of them

-“ Wait !” Lando exclaimed, grabbing Oscar’s wrist before letting go of it like he had been burnt “ Please, Oscar. Don’t do that.” 

-“ See ? I knew you weren’t dense.” 

-“ I’m not. I just don’t want to ruin our friendship or how comfortable she feels at work right now.” 

-“ That’s not going to happen and anyway you won’t know what she thinks until you actually ask her out.” 

-“ What if she says no ?” 

-“ What if she says yes ?” Oscar mimicked his friend with a knowing smile

-“ You’re so annoying.” Lando scoffed, rolling his eyes

-“ Does that mean you’re going to at least try to ask her out before giving up ?” 

-“ I’m going to think about it.” 

-“ No, that won’t cut it. You have to promise me you’ll try.” 

-“ I don’t owe you shit, Oscar. Why are you so persistent anyway ?” 

-“ I’m doing this in the name of love, mate. I just heard through the grapevine that she might like someone and from all the time I spend with her, I’m saying you should shoot your shot.” 

-“ What does that even mean ? Why are you being so cryptic ?” 

-“I can’t explicitly tell you because that would make me a bad friend but you have to trust me on that one. Just ask her out”

-“ Alright, I’ll do it. But don’t you dare pressure me or anything. If I’m doing this, I’m doing it on my own terms and that’s it.” Lando caved in, pointing his finger at the Australian’s face

-“ I’m so glad you said yes. I hope I at least get to be the godfather of one of your kids.” he laughed as Lando became bright red and slapped his shoulder

-“ So you’re going to tell Logan not to go for it ?” 

-“ I don’t need to.” 

-“ What ?”

-“ I don’t need to and you don’t have to worry about him.” 

-“ Oh my God. You lied !”

-“ It was for a greater cause so it’s okay, right ?” 

-“ Greater cause, my ass ! You just like to torture me.” 

-“ Maybe…” 

-“ I’m gonna–” Lando started before being cut off by someone calling them both to start filming, saving Oscar who just smirked and walked away.

He might have lied to have what he wanted but it wasn’t selfish if he just wanted his two friends to be happy so he didn’t feel too bad.

[mcflymemes]

PROMPTS FROM LIFE IS STRANGE, SEASON 1 *  assorted dialogue, suggested by ismelodrama, adjust as necessary

everything is a picture waiting for be taken.

you're just jealous of me because i actually do the things you can't.

are you hiding something?

i'm sick of your disrespect. tell me the truth!

i don't want to fight with you anymore. i don't want to fight with anyone anymore.

i was eating those beans!

how the hell did you know about that photo?

always take the shot. my number one rule of photography.

you just don't listen, do you?

there's something weird going on with you.

you've only been here for three weeks and you're already causing conflict.

after this week, you are certainly not a little kid anymore.

not now. i'm contemplating shit.

are you fucking kidding me? this is major bullshit!

i didn't have all the evidence at the time.

we all make decisions we regret.

i'm not gonna make any excuses for my behavior.

i'd put stephen hawking against picasso any day.

it sucks to be dragged into the spotlight.

nobody believes me anyway.

you're exactly the kind of soldier i'd want by my side in a war.

why the hell not?

i almost asked you to hang out.

you should have asked me.

maybe we're too much alike.

i don't believe anything you say. you're full of shit.

eat a dick, [name].

i'll be in the tardis getting my delorean ready.

since you're the mysterious superhero... i'll be your faithful chauffeur and companion.

you don't know who the fuck i am or who you're messing around with.

where'd you get that? what are you doing? come on, put that thing down!

don't ever tell me what to do! i'm so sick of people trying to control me!

so you can't help me?

i told you before that i'll always believe you.

i may be a pest but... i'm a good listener.

you're the bravest person i've ever known.

for every action, there's a reaction.

i'm trying. but you have to understand my position.

i know i can be a pain in the ass... and you've always treated me like a person, not a beta nerd.

why do you want all your friends to die?

oh i see. i'm not important to you anymore.

nobody lectures me. everybody tries though.

do not analyze me! i pay people for that.

hey, that's total slander!

you don't know shit about my father, or me.

you're all fucked!

everybody hates me.

[name]... it's me. i just wanted to say i'm sorry.

i truly am sorry for being such a bastard.

you would have been cool to hang out with.

you might as well choose me.

i'm not perfect, okay?

you have talent, [name].

you don't have to push people out of your way.

thanks for admitting again that i have some talent.

do you think it's, like, fate we're not supposed to be friends?

nobody says we have to be friends.

everybody lies. no exceptions.

i came for all of you.

i'm in a nightmare and i can't wake up.

no wonder they call it a "web." nothing can ever get out.

i wish i could go back in time and erase everything.

just tell me you do have the photograph.

now shut up and listen.

i'm not a real scientist.

i was just happy just being your friend.

[name], i'm so sorry you had to go through all that.

i don't think i can concentrate on going out to the movies.

everybody pretends to care until they don't.

even angels need angels, [name].

i might be naive, but i feel their struggle.

why did you stop me from jumping?

this shit pit has taken everyone i've ever loved.

when a door closes, a window opens... or something like that.

i keep going back in time.

how could there be a more important moment in history?

thank you for trusting me.

hey... be careful out there.

what kind of friend are you?

you never understood me, or what happened to me.

i'll always be alone, thanks to you.

just in case we don't get out of this...

i'm going to make the right choices from now on.

i've been feeling like this might be actually the end of the world.

i hate to say that i'm glad to see you, but i'm glad to see you.

i wish i could stay in this moment forever... but then it wouldn't be a moment.

if that tornado came right now, i would just sit here and watch for a while.

i just feel like escaping.

i have total faith that you'll do the right thing when the time comes.

with great power comes great bullshit.

am i pushing myself too hard?

you like to hurt people, huh?

i'm glad you decided to escort me.

i know this is a bad time, but can i get one picture?

of course i believe you. you're the most amazing person i've ever met, and i'm glad you trust me.

i don't have a fucking clue what's going on.

[wolfjackle-creates]

Bring Me Home Arc 3 Part 3

Again the winner of last week's poll! There won't be a poll this week because I'm planning something a bit different. I hit 1000 followers this past week and have been wracking my brain about how to celebrate! Wasn't up for doing prompts or adding more projects to my list, though, so I didn't want to go that route.

But I did come up with something that I think everyone will really enjoy. Especially those of you who have been voting for Carry Your Heart (I see you in the tags!). So look out for that post.

In addition, I've just posted the first chapter of Arc 2 on AO3! Link below.

Story Summary: Jack and Maddie install a new ghost shield on the house which activates the moment Danny tries to step into his home. His secret is out and his parents are determined to excise the ghost from their son.

Luckily Danny isn't alone. The Young Justice, Sam, Tucker, and Jazz aren't going to leave him to suffer.

Arc 1: AO3

Arc 2: AO3 (incomplete); Tumblr - First, Final

Arc 3: First, Previous

Word Count: 1.4k

-----

Fire rushing through him jolted Danny awake. His back arched as he cried out. He screwed his eyes tight, not wanting to see what torture his parents were going to come at him with next when he realized what the sound of his cry meant: the muzzle was gone.

As were the restraints. And he was lying on something soft. Trying hard not to hope, he opened his eyes.

Sam and Jazz were leaning over him, concern clear on their faces. They were in some sort of ambulance or van.

“How are you feeling,” demanded Sam.

Danny took a moment to answer, his chest was pure agony. He didn’t even want to think what it would feel like to sit up. And even past that, everything was sore. Though the fire that had woken him up had dissipated, the tell-tale feel of ecto-dejecto. “Pretty much the worst I’ve ever felt,” he answered honestly.

Sam and Jazz both winced and his sister grabbed his hand. He squeezed her fingers weakly.

At the foot of his bed stood Tim in full Red Robin getup and Kon as Superboy.

He couldn’t hold back the smile as he met Tim’s gaze. “You came,” he said.

Tim didn’t smile back, but some tension eased out of his shoulders. “I always will,” he said. “Been telling you that since we were ten years old.”

“I know. I’ve always known. Thank you.”

Jazz squeezed his hand again and he looked at her. “Red Robin and Superboy are going to take you away from here. Robin will help you recover.”

Sam nodded. “Yep. And the rest of us are gonna focus on making sure Amity is safe for ghosts once and for all.”

Danny shook his head. “I should be there with you guys, fighting.”

“Nope!” interrupted Jazz. “Not even a little. You’re going to focus on getting better, got it, Danny? That’s all we want from you.”

“But the ghosts—”

Sam covered his mouth with her hand. “Stop it right there. Tucker is working with Impulse and Wonder Girl to get the portal locked up. No one will be coming through. No one—ghost or human—will be in any danger while you’re gone. I promise.”

Danny slumped into the bed. Even the slight change in position caused waves of pain to radiate from his chest even through the healing ice he could feel implanted in his body. He whimpered and closed his eyes until the throbbing receded just a bit. “I trust you. I do, it’s just…”

“You’re used to taking care of everyone,” finished Jazz for him. “We know. So let us take care of you for a change. We love you, Danny.”

“Love you, too, Jazz. Sam.”

“Be good for bird-brain there, got it?” ordered Sam.

Danny gave her a half-smile. “Are Tim and I ever good together?”

She laughed. “Well, don’t burn down Gotham, capiche?”

“Capiche.”

“We have to go now,” said Jazz.

Danny gripped her hand tighter. “Don’t leave me.”

Jazz winced, but leaned down to kiss his forehead. “We need to make sure the Guys in White aren’t going to get involved further. And you need to get someplace safe.”

Danny huffed a half laugh. “Gotham is safe?”

Jazz rolled her eyes at his poor attempt at a joke. “For you it is. Now, I’m leaving Red and Superboy with a case full of ectoplasm for you and our entire supply of ecto-dejecto. I just gave you your first injection. Please try and eat something and drink your ectoplasm regularly.”

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever you say, Jazz.”

Jazz sniffed and it was only then that Danny realized it was wetter than usual and her eyes were watery. He tried not to feel bad for his jokes when she replied, “Yes, it is whatever I say. Glad you agree.”

Sam cackled, and now that he was paying attention, Danny could hear the hysterical edge to it. “You’d better text us multiple times a day, ghost boy. Don’t try and lie to us, either. Kon’ll tell me the truth about your condition. And as soon as we can arrange it, we’re coming out your way for a visit.”

“Course I will, Sam. Give Tuck my best?”

“Duh. He wishes he could’ve come with us, you know.”

Danny nodded. “But he’s better with the tech stuff and that is just as time sensitive.”

“Yeah. Now, get some sleep,” Sam ordered. “You’ve got a long drive ahead of you.”

Danny gave the rote answer after too many all-nighters taking care of ghost attacks before school, “I’m dead, I don’t need sleep.”

His sister squeezed his hand. “Ghosts who just went through what you did need their sleep. Love you, Danny. Get well and I’ll see you soon.”

“Love you, Jazz.”

She kissed his forehead one more time, followed by Sam. And with another two rounds of farewells and love yous, he was alone with Tim and Kon.

“Thanks for coming,” he said again.

“Obviously we weren’t going to leave you there,” said Kon. “Being a lab subject isn’t fun. Especially not that kinda lab experiment.”

Danny couldn’t quite hold back the flinch at that description. It was accurate, but blunt.

Tim walked over until he was sitting by Danny’s bed. “Just listen to Jazz and get some rest. We’re going to be taking the long route to Gotham by going south to start. If we stop for food in a few hours, think you could handle a smoothie?”

Danny shrugged and bit back a yawn. “Could try.”

“That’s all I ask.”

Kon moved towards the front of the vehicle as well. “Looks like it’s time for us to skedaddle. I’ll keep the road from jostling you, ghost-boy.”

Danny gave a small smile and let his eyes close. As he did, he tried to mumble his thanks and he hoped it came across.

---

The next time he woke was more gentle. Someone was tapping on his shoulder and calling his name. But even so, as he was pulled closer to awareness, the pain made itself more and more known. He tried to cling to the darkness, but the tapping wasn’t stopping, nor was the person calling him.

He blinked open his eyes to see Tim’s concerned face. He wasn’t wearing the domino anymore, or his costume. Just a sweatshirt and jeans.

“Hey, Danny,” said Tim. “I’m going to need you to try and eat a bit right now. Kon got us those smoothies I mentioned. I’ve also got yogurt if that’ll be easier for you. But the smoothie will have more nutrients.”

Danny closed his eyes. He wasn’t hungry and didn’t want to eat. Why did Tim have to bring him back to consciousness for this? He hurt and just wanted to sink back into oblivion.

The tapping on his shoulder began again. “I know, Danny. But you have to eat something. And you should take some ectoplasm, too. So just stay awake for a few minutes.”

“Mm ‘wake,” said Danny without opening his eyes. He shifted his weight, hoping to push himself up to eat, only to scream in pain as his chest protested any movement.

“Shit! Don’t move,” said Tim too late. “I’ve got a spoon here. I’ll feed it to you, okay? So just stay exactly where you are.”

Danny gripped his sheets, unable to do anything else as wave after wave of pain over took him. Tim kept up a litany of reassurances and stroked his hair. Eventually, Danny was able to think past it again.

“Don’t think I can sit up,” said Danny.

“Of course not,” agreed Tim. He held a styrofoam cup between his knees and carefully took off the lid and straw. “Just let me. Take at least a few bites. Swallow as is, don’t try and chew. Just do what you can, okay?”

“Okay,” agreed Danny and Tim fed him the first bite.

Danny hated this. Hated it so much. Here he was being spoon fed like a baby all because his parents… He shut his eyes and took the next bite. He wasn’t going to finish that thought. Tim was here and that’s what mattered.

Danny wasn’t sure how much he ate, but it couldn’t have been much. His eyelids were getting heavier and heavier and the pull of oblivion stronger.

“Wait, Danny. Stay awake just a little longer, okay?”

Danny groaned but forced his eyes open again.

Tim showed him a bottle of ectoplasm. “Just a few swallows of this, too. Okay?”

He didn’t want to. He’d rather just go to sleep again, but he opened his mouth obediently. By the time he finished his third spoonful, he couldn’t fight it anymore and slumped into the bed. The pain receded back into blackness for a time.

-----

Next

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Danny is going to be getting all the comfort throughout this. All of them will, tbh. Because no one is happy and they all need a hug or five.

Let me know what you think!

[howlsofbloodhounds]

I got some assorted headcanons for Nightmare's henchmen because I've been thinking about how many chronic issues those guys are bound to have non-stop lately...

Killer:

He doesn't take care of himself properly, even after he starts taking care of the others. Meaning my guy is most likely gonna have some issues with chronic dehydration, which, in my experience, leads to "fun" things like: long-term and short-term memory issues, struggles with focus, difficulties regulating emotions (meaning, the longer this goes on the more often he might flip between different stages), difficulties sleeping, frequent headaches, chronic fatigue, dizziness and vision blacking out when he gets up from a sitting position, and joint pains.

Being dehydrated also generally makes pre-existent mental issues worse. So the struggles with guilt, self-hatred and all that stuff that is very present at Stage 1 are probably all accentuated by his lack of proper self-care.

Horror:

His skull and empty eye socket both cause him pain often. Especially with switches in temperature or humidity. Because of the positioning of those wounds, that often leads to debilitating headaches and often teeth pain too. He pulls on his bones to try and alleviate the pain because the pressure does help in the moment, but the strain he puts on them always leaves him far more sore after.

The years of starvation also left his bones far more brittle and prone to breakage. He's gonna be extra careful even while doing things like getting out of the shower or sitting down. He would benefit from getting braces and several different kinds of mobility aids, but it's not like he's got access to any of that either in his world or at the castle, so he learns to make do without.

Dust:

Because he's got a high LV and yet his soul is still inside of his body, he experiences a lot of side effects from that. Things like: chest pains, frequent headaches, auditory and visual hallucinations, memory problems, frequent blackouts, disorientation, and bone fragility (though, unlike Horror, his bones aren't more prone to breaking, they're more prone to dusting).

The thin layer of dust that constantly covers his bones causes frequent rashes and irritation. It's not unusual to see red blotches on his bones. Massaging his bones with oil or cremes would help relieve some of his discomfort and I'm sure that Killer does his best to find and steal some for him, but their resources are still limited and his access to it is only temporary. Also, that scarf he always wears doesn't help, what with it being covered in dust. And having his hood always up doesn't help either, since fabric rubbing against his already sensitive and irritated bones is probably Hell. Wearing some lighter and breezy clothing would do wonders for him. (Yes, this is part of my propaganda to put all my faves in pretty dresses. It would look cute and it makes sense, I swear).

Cross:

Old badly healed fractures from his time in the military probably cause him a lot of general pain he's grown used to in the years. But, by far, the worst of his problems come from his and XChara's unusual soul situation. Sharing a soul cannot be easy, and it probably leads to a great deal of disorientation and confusion around their memories and identities.

Not knowing where one ends and the other begins makes social interactions with outsiders to their bond rather difficult. It most likely led Cross to develop a great deal of social anxiety which is why he often tends to isolate himself and suppress most of his emotions. Truly, he tries to minimize the amount of meaningful social interactions he gets because the panic attacks afterward are just not worth it

All skeletons should immediately be put in loose pretty dresses /hj

But honestly I love these very much, they seem very probable. And I can honestly relate to Killer’s dehydration and Horror’s teeth problems, those things suck. (For me tho it’s often because water is a boring drink.)

Also do you think that whenever Killer decides to take the others on his responsibility, does he do things like help Dust rub the cream on his bones, especially with those hard to reach places or extra painful spots? Maybe this is something they’d have to work up to, as doing something like that is a rather vulnerable thing, requiring trust.

I think itd be a cute image though, and maybe if we go with the headcanon that horror is or grows to be a little bigger or taller than Murder and Killer, he offers Murder some of his clothes since they’re bigger and looser. I’d imagine that Killer would have to frequently steal and horde painkillers and numbing medications for the gang, and perhaps manage it all carefully to avoid overuse.

And Dust probably wouldn’t want to wash his scarf, but I wonder if he’d accept a cleaner version of a scarf that looks just like it and just keep the old one as a comfort somewhere in his room.

And I’d imagine that Dust and Horror would have to frequently remind both Killer and Cross/XChara of who they are, where they are, the time and the year.

And very likely have to remind Killer about things multiple times either because he forgot something, or because he was asked to do something but didn’t realize if that experience was real or not. Perhaps they create a little system of asking if they can hold Killer’s hand (or let him hold their hand), to anchor him in reality whenever it seems like he’s not really present or sure.

{ @stellocchia }

Honestly id love to hear more about all of your headcanons. They’re all so detailed.

[etirabys]

on jogging

I took up jogging 2.5 months ago. I'm going off the c25k schedule, which slowly ramps you up from couch potato fitness to being able to run a 5k. This was much more effective than just trying to get into jogging by mimicking other, fitter, joggers, which was what I did every previous time I briefly tried to get into jogging. I feel embarrassed for never having thought of this before – it's clear that 'my brain was off' in those times when I went mimicry-running.

One issue that made me get into jogging so ineffectively: I didn't realize how terrible my starting physical fitness was. I used to think I was… like… normal? No athlete, for sure, but I'm a "normal amount of miserable" on hikes (and can complete most of them), I'm an intermediate boulderer, I rarely notice activities I'm gated from because of fitness. But when I started c25k with three partners, none of whom regularly jogged, they were all significantly less winded than I was.

And for the first dang time in my life I explicitly had a thought that went, "I can run 1 minute before my body forces me to stop. My partners can run 3-4 minutes. Some people can run 30 minutes."

Once I actually had any sense of "jogging levels" it was so clear how close to the bottom I was when I started out. That gives me some hope that being much fitter will solve my fatigue problems?

I used to be able to run 1 minute, and now I can run 2. By one (terrible but also kind of reasonable?) metric, I'm twice as fit as I used to be. But a nontrivial fraction of the population can jog 30 consecutive minutes! It seems worth getting to that point to see what that does to my energy levels / cognition.

–

Also: I haven't been sticking to the c25k schedule. I go 1.5 times a week where it expects 3, and I stuck a level between week 2 and week 3 because the 1.5m->3m jump looked insane to me. I've been on that custom level 2.5 for a month. I had a mindblowing conversation with the giant and 81k yesterday where I went, yeah, I've been stuck at week 2.5 because I've felt unready for week 3. And they said, that's probably because you're not going enough.

What do you mean? I asked. I've run about a full session and a half session every week for four weeks. Isn't that the same as 3 full sessions every week for two weeks?

No, they said, surprised I didn't know this. There's an optimal timing. If you'd probably stuck literally to the c25k schedule you probably could have gone from level 2 to 3 in a week.

GYARJRGH? I said. FUSBARIJIJJLK?

(I still disbelieve the literal claim that I can go to level 3 after doing level 2 properly, but I believe them that I would be leveling up a lot faster if I stuck to the schedule)

–

Anyway, some things I'd like to say to my past self, who felt obligated to work out for fatigue issues and then proceeded to exercise very badly because there was such a big ugh field around the topic of exercise:

You do not realize how big the gap between you and even moderately athletic people is. This is good, actually. It means that the correct place to start is easier than you think.

You should try to do it like 3 times a week. Date a jock. There are some on tumblr

Consider starting this when you have positive pressure rather than negative pressure. When you're buckling under multiple joy-sparking projects and want to rise to the challenge, it will be much easier to start & stick to it than when you're an anhedonic lump who has nothing to look forward to, but knows that exercise will in theory make life better in some vague way.

[kyouka-supremacy]

hello!

I saw your recent post and you hinted that Atsushi is actually kinda twisted and that yoh don't agree with his morals?

If its alr with you, do you mind elaborating? ❤️

Alright, to be fair, I *am* self aware enough to realize a lot of what I say about Atsushi is probably fairly detached from canon. When push comes to shove, he's just a guy trying to get through. A polite dude. I like to stretch on how a lot of his well-mannered behaviour and his desperate attempt to prove himself good are moved by deeply selfish reasons of validating his own right to live, but that said, that doesn't make him inherently evil, either.

Atsushi's double morality is something that comes up a lot, so please check out these posts!! (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8). But overall... Is a good action that is done for deeply selfish reasons, still good? I'm not sure. But when I watched the anime for the first time, and in episode 8 it turned out that Atsushi was not helping the train passengers out of spontaneous inclination to help people in need, but rather just due to a self-interested aim to validate his own right to live... Idk, it didn't positively impress me? I was even less positively impacted by the later line “people can't live unless someone tells them ‘it's okay to go on’! ” The thing is, both scenes feel like more of the author's underlying worldviews that end up being conveyed through the series' protagonist, and that's a consideration to be made by its own– it's not an issue I have with Atsushi specifically, as much as me fundamentally disagreeing with most of bsd's perspectives on the world, as I've already said before.

But that doesn't change the fact that Atsushi is fundamentally selfish¹, does it? The difference is - I think - that for the author, more or less all people are, while to me no one is born selfish. But that still makes Atsushi not really morally virtuous, and I think that's narratively interesting to explore by its own!!! What if there was a character who only did good because (he thinks) that's the only way he has the right to live? What if there was someone who believed the right to live had to be owned in the first place? After having overcome the admittedly jarring sentiment I felt when first engaged with the character, I must admit those are some compelling concepts to explore, even despite disagreeing with the underlying morals.

At the end of the day, it's just a complex nature of the character? I like to emphasize on Atsushi's uncommendable selfishness especially as opposite to Akutagawa's hidden selflessness; but all said, a man who tries to do good despite it not being his first nature is a better man than any of us, isn't he?

¹ And Atsushi is profoundly selfish. I think that Beast in particular proves that he's ready to commit evil just as much as in canon he is to do good, if it's to pursue the goal of his own survival. The first thing we see him do, at the very start of the series, is, symbolically, contemplating robbing other people for his own survival (though in real life I would never judge someone's morality in life and death situations... But maybe since this is fiction, that can still hold narrative value). He will stop acting good as long as it's no longer required of him (each of his interactions with Akutagawa). Maybe it's a little pessimist way to interpret the manga, but perhaps still a consistent one?

[my-deer-friend]

I have a two part question if that is okay!

1) What graduate program are you doing? Is it online? What was the application process and admission like? I really would like to get a graduate degree in history but I don't know if I could up and move for a year or so to get it.

2) How do you combat bias in your research? I know I struggle with preconceived ideas that I have or what I hope to be true, I just wonder if you have any advice!

Thank you so much for your blog and research! It's so interesting and informative!

Hi, friend!

I've skirted around it, but I'll say it outright here – I'm not going to say what program I'm taking. It's not online, but there are many, many such options out there that are. You'll have to do the research for yourself and see what fits your needs and goals. And the process is going to differ vastly by country and institution, so I can't be any help there either.

Now, as for biases.

All people have biases. Step one is to acknowledge that you have them, and try to pin down what they might be, remembering that even "positive" biases can be detrimental to good academic work. (Do some reading about unconscious bias. It’s eye-opening.)

Other people have biases too – that applies both to primary as well as secondary sources. Always ask: Who wrote this? To whom? From what perspective? With what goal, motive, ideology? What are they trying to convince the reader of? I always like to do a quick "bias check" before I start reading – who are the authors, and how might that shape their perspective? (For example: one of my readings by a British scholar very firmly tried to make the case that English, and not French or other continental European writers, were really the ones responsible for the Enlightenment. Now, that may be right, but I'm going to take that with a huge pinch of salt.)

In academia, your biases tend to be enforced by what you read, so the best way to minimise them in the first place is to learn how to vet the quality of sources, to read broadly, and to be critical of all of it. This is a challenge in sociocultural historical research, because we don't really know what someone meant, or felt, or did in between the points of evidence that we have, so a large degree of interpretation is present. And that is where the bias hides.

As soon as I get that "I want this to be true" feeling, I stop and examine it, because that's usually a sign that wishful thinking is filling in the gaps in my research. I wouldn't need to be wishing if I could back the claim up, right? So I look for the holes and the leaps of logic, and find a way to address them, and sometimes that means I'm proven wrong. (You will often be wrong. This is normal, common and good.)

I also find that bias creeps in more easily when making a broad and sweeping assessment than a more specific one. "So-and-so was gay" is a claim that is rarely possible to prove to any degree of academic certainty, but "this interaction between X and Y shows there was a homoromantic dimension to their friendship" is both useful and provable. Scaling down the claim you are trying to make (and the stakes you personally feel in making it) can really help to reduce your bias.

And of course, the tried and tested method – try to disprove your own claim. Have you missed any straightforward alternative explanations? Have you left unfavourable evidence out? Have you "creatively" used a source to make your point? (Biographers stop doing this; challenge level impossible). Are you leaning on logical fallacies or making excessively large logical leaps at the core of your argument? Would someone without your agenda be compelled to come to the same conclusion? And so on. Get someone to read over it and do a "wikipedia edit" (citation needed; said by who?; sources dispute this, etc.).

Good luck!

[megumi-fm]

☆ little changes in my routine with big positive impacts ☆

sleep schedule: after years of trying to make the regular 10pm-6am sleep cycle work for me, I have decided to stop. time is a construct and there is no reason to sleep or wake up at 'conventional time' if my body clock is different. recently I've been going to bed at around 12:30pm/1:00am and I wake up at around 7:30am- which seems to be my body wake time. because of this, I wake feeling refreshed although I'm getting lesser hours of sleep. in fact, I wake up before my alarm rings on most days, and it's always a joy to learn that I get to spend ten more minutes in bed before my clock rings xD

night showers: another thing that has greatly helped my sleep is taking a shower a bit before bed. I find it really calming and as a way of actively processing the day and clearing my head before going to bed. I can also skip morning showers on days I need to get to work early. Plus, clean clothes and clean sheets help me sleep better. the only disadvantage to this is that I'm a shower singer and I tend to get in the feels and belt out notes to my favourite songs, which I can't do anymore considering the fact that my shower is around 11am and I shouldn't be disturbing the neighbors :P

switching out social media: deleting social media apps was the easy part. the real challenge was trying to find things to do in those spark moments of boredom when I find myself on the phone. I tried reading ebooks, but I wasn't able to focus. so I started bookmarking links I find interesting so that I can check them out whenever I get the urge to doomscroll. a lot of studyblr link cool videos or articles on their dop posts often, but most of my links come from the Tom Scott Newsletter. unlike the tiredness that comes with doomscrolling, I always feel refreshed and smarter when I use my phone lately. the urge to use my phone has weaned off as well.

digital journaling: when I first started journaling several years ago, it just did not work for me. I think I was more focused on writing everything in a certain way and implementing trackers and spreads that weren't functional for me. but I switched to notion for the past few months and stripped down the journalling process to it's bare essentials. I add a to-do list for the day, a cute picture I either took or found on the internet, and a note on how my day went and how I felt. there's also a checkbox for sleep, water, and exercise. sometimes I add notes on stuff I watch or read, but for the most part it's just this. it takes me just 15min, and I can update it as and when I like because of the phone app, and it helps me stay productive and motivated for the whole day. sometimes I embed gifs of my fav blorbos and go on about them 🤭

[sometimes-men-need-help-too]

So this guy posted about how his wife "baby trapped" him, with baby trapped in quotes because he didn't know if it necessarily counted. He said she didn't do it to make him stay, just against his will

They've been together for 8 years, have 2 (5f and 2m) kids and when they talked about having kids, she wanted 2 but he wanted 1. They ended up having 2 because she insisted it was important for a child to have a sibling. After his son was born, OP didn't want to go through all the sleepiness nights and everything again. But when their son was a year old, his wife started mentioning having a 3rd child. I would laugh it off but finally she sat me down and said we have to have a third. I said no, we agreed on two, but she said she wanted four and three is the compromise. I refused and said I wanted one and we have two. She got angry and called me selfish for taking away her dream of wanting a big family.

Few days later, she apologized and they had sex. She was on birth control, he had a condom, so they did it. Then one day, she showed him the positive pregnancy test. When she saw his less than happy expression, she berated him for not being supportive, that he should be grateful, etc. So he apologized, hugged her and told her he was excited.

When she was asleep, I took the condoms out of the cupboard and ran them under water. Holes.

I nabbed her phone and saw she'd set a password. That was odd. Nevertheless, my wife has a terrible memory so I tried her birthday and it opened. Further up were texts with her best friend of my wife complaining how I wouldn't come around. Her best friend suggested "arrange an accident" with a winky face. My wife agreed and said she was going to come off of birth control. It went on for a little while, ending with my wife saying that yes, we were going to have a 3rd.

So he woke her up after that to question her about it. She started crying. Through tears she screamed I had no right to go through her phone and it's her choice whether or not she wants to take BC, the side-effects are bad and she was sick. She also brought up if I really didn't want a third kid, I should have had a vasectomy. She told me to go sleep on the couch, I laughed out loud and said no, I'm sleeping here, you're leaving. So while wailing she packed a bag and left to her parents. When she called the next day I told her I just need some time to myself. She said that's fine but I need to come around for our child. I told her I wasn't sure if it'd be "our child" and she cried more.

It's been two weeks since then. Governments recommended to stay at home and I knew staying home by myself while also working with two kids would not be ideal and she wanted to see our kids. So we're in the same house, she constantly keeps on stopping me and trying to get me excited for our kid and planning the nursery and names and how happy our kids will be to get a younger sibling. I've been ignoring her entirely.

A lot of the comments were in his favor so I was happy to see that. But there were also plenty of other comments that weren't as supportive, even downplaying the wife's actions.

There were a number of people who were against him divorcing her, questioning him why he wants to ruin his marriage and his family over this. I just can't get over that, how they're acting like he's in the wrong here. Would you want to stay with someone who crossed the line severely? Would you want to stay with someone you couldn't trust?

She ruined the marriage on her own. He's reacting how anyone can expect someone to react in that kind of situation. A lot of people were insisting he try to fix his marriage and stay for the kids so he doesn't break up the family but that is, in this case, the worst advice someone can give. I'm not sure there's any coming back from this. How could you trust someone like that again? How do you know she wouldn't do it again in the long run because she'd want a 4th baby?

Not to mention, it's a horrible thing to put the kids through. They're already, according to him in a comment, wondering why he isn't talking to their mother (sidenote: some people expressed disbelief that the kids would notice at that age. I haven't spent much time with super little kids like a 2 year old but 5 year old's can be surprisingly observant. Or the wife might have said something to them). If he were to stay and things worsen, like them fighting more often, that just hurts the kids. And it's not a good lesson for them when they get older. There are limits to keeping a relationship with someone.

And of course, his own mental health and happiness are important too.

What bothers me is the justifications people are pulling out in defense of his wife. They are severely downplaying her actions by saying she just wanted a baby, people aren't perfect, etc. Somebody even compared the situation to...rearranging a room.

And then you have others blaming him because he hasn't had a vasectomy yet. That isn't the point of this. If the wife hadn't done anything and he was complaining that she got pregnant, then I would find him more at fault. But what the wife has done is considered reproductive coercion, which is a form of intimate partner violence.

Sure there was a bit of a chance of pregnancy occurring, but she crossed the line in order to get what she wanted. She is at fault here for the pregnancy. And she should be held accountable for that. I've found conflicting information about whether she could face legal consequences, but at the very least we shouldn't be trying to make excuses for her or downplay it to make it sound like it's something innocent.

Because it definitely isn't

[peachy-cheeks]

Defined

ch: 1 | 2 | 3

synopsis: you and nanami are coworkers and former friends with benefits grappling with the decision to consciously uncouple as a non-couple (aka stop doing each other)

word count: 1,937 words

characters: nanami kento x gn!reader

warnings: angsty kinda, slight sexual mentions this chapter

a/n: i was gonna talk a bunch here about clarifying intentions, labels and titles meaning things, etc. but i thought that was entirely too much... i imagine if you've been anywhere on the fwb/situationship spectrum then you'll just get the gist of it all

"With this, there was no dating. No tender moments in public or meeting family. And no telling coworkers... absolutely not. The closest semblance to a normal partnership was the rare mission assigned together. The ones you both went on afar from Tokyo, apart from the blood and guts, felt a bit like little vacations.

But even if his hands fell onto and held your waist a certain way. Or if his teeth tugged your bottom lip as his to claim. Even with the smiles that bookended your meetings of intimately learning the other's weaknesses. This was not that kind of relationship."

Violet with dying rays of orange and pink melted into the growing spread of navy sky. The moon always seemed to look brighter up north.

So many mundane blessings clicked for you in moments like these. The daily changes in the sky, the gentle crumble and cushion of leaves beneath your sore soles, an intact spine... it all felt so nice. Normal miracles.

Lucky, some would say. You were lucky to experience those blessings.

"Ah, so you're headed to Hiraizumi?" "Yeah well, nearby. There've been quite a few disappearances near the Satetsu river. I've never been but it seems fairly quiet there otherwise." "It's pretty... beautiful really. But you'll want to be careful up there. Lots of concentrated energy." "Of course. I'm looking forward to it." "Try not to take offense to this, but who'll be going with you? I don't imagine they'd send anyone near there alone unless it was Gojo." "Well, I'll be with Nanami... we've worked together a couple of times. I think we get along just fine. Should go fine." "Aren't you lucky..." "Mmm." "Seriously though, be careful. For them to assign a grade 1 and semi grade 1 on a single assignment. Sounds like they don't even know how big of a problem it really could be." "Right... you sure you don't wanna swap places with me, Kusakabe?" "Don't make me laugh. Try to come back in one piece."

Last week's conversation played in your head while you gradually retreated from the wilderness toward the nearest town. The replay was a welcomed distraction from the internal and external bruises that slowed your pace. It also took away from the freshly-made replay of you nearly being split into pieces by the wickedly sharp appendages of the curse you faced not even an hour before.

"Nanami?" "...Yes?" "Thank you... for watching my back there."

Met with silence, not that you were expecting much. An expression of gratitude is a hard conversation point for someone unenthused to relish in their own good deeds. Because he was there, your near-fate was returned to its sender. As planned, the 7:3 Sorcerer's dull blade tore apart the sickened flesh that held the curse together. No rumination of the act on his part out of politeness, sure, but more so out of professionalism.

His position, tried and true, was simple: what kind of sorcerer would he be if he stood by and allowed you to be decapitated by a curse mere feet away from him?

'I need to work on my reaction time...' Who doesn't? You're at the best that you've known yourself at. 'I'm sorry for being a burden...' Fuck no. That doesn't make sense and it sounds pathetic.

Thoughts trailed off as your steps continued. 'Just leave it...' A breeze slapped against your cheeks and your adrenaline continued to fall.

Even now, the silent air between you both was not uncomfortable. Though, it never usually was. Besides, many sorcerers pray for minutes of peace to grow into hours, days, and months. Most find the time after intense combat to be the purest form of peace; from one extreme to its polar opposite in seconds. Colors, light, scents, and temperature all came through so much clearer... more precise in those after moments.

Auras too... and his captivated you. It had for so, so long, but in the duration of your relationship you had rarely seen this particular quick swell, bright glow, and slow decompression. Witnessing it made you grateful.

Strong. By nature and nurture, his strength was hardwired into his body, mind, and soul. It struck a perfect balance with his kindness, something unwavering that you witnessed the moment you ran into him years ago (literally, by immaculate chance) as a salary man.

Kindness and strength, just two of his many traits that defined the humanity you adored. Steady in your meeting, brief union, and eventual break. At every stage, it was never difficult to find Nanami admirable.

“There’s no way they properly considered the risk of this assignment."

What were you two talking about again? Oh—

"Yeah. It's odd that they sent us both." "It’s… a disheartening situation.” "..."

You sincerely hoped it wasn't becau—

"...Not because of you..." "Oh, I... I understand."

Of course you understood, it came with your own strength. But surely he could've handled that curse without yo—

"Thank you for your hard work. You created a wide opening for me to assist. I'm not sure I would've been able to do this without you." "...Mm. No problem... me either. I certainly couldn't have done this alone."

Your statement was obvious, as you were covered in far more wounds and marks compared to your coworker. You may have landed more blows against the curse, but he certainly managed to move efficiently and avoid the brunt of what you got.

"Are you feeling faint?" “No… I’m okay. Thanks.”

Maybe faint wasn’t the proper word, but the goosebumps on your skin made it harder to move. Colors, temperature, and that growing navy sky felt colder and colder. Terrible shame that the nearest town was still a 30 minute hike... and that the nearest auxiliary manager was another 20 minutes away.

“Are you sure?” “…Yeah… I’m just a little chilly…”

In a singular, swift motion, the weight of Nanami’s blazer comfortably swallowed your shoulders. Without hesitation, he had removed the layer for your benefit.

“Your adrenaline is dropping.” “T-thank you… thanks... but so is yours. Aren’t you cold?” “My injuries are minor and we don’t have long to go.” “Okay… well... let me know if you want this back at any point.” “I’ll be fine.”

If Nanami was anything, he was an excellent coworker. A professional and selfless team player in every sense. The evening grew cooler and despite the donated layer, the chill sank into your exposed skin and down your bones. 15 more minutes, huh?

"Do you think you can make it for the next-" "Next 15 minutes? Y-yeah, I think so." "..."

You figured, at least until his question made your knees buckle. His ever watchful eyes took in your attempt to conceal a growing limp. Did this curse really fuck you up that bad?

"Hold on."

Nanami placed a firm hand on your shoulder prompting you to pause and repositioned the harness that holstered his weapon from his back to his shoulder.

"If you're comfortable with this, I'll carry you until we reach town. Please don't feel indebted to me, I don't want your injuries to worsen from oversight." "I... Nanami..."

God. First, his coat. Now, his back. What more could he give?

He certainly wasn't being chivalrous to prove a point... was he? What point would he even be making?

Well... how long were you going to make him wait...?

"I don't mean to pressure you..."

Hazel eyes, bare of his glasses, were kind and waiting for your answer. A familiar air of disarming patience carved the cold air between you. Were his eyes always this way when looking towards you? Even now?

"N-no. No, it's... I..."

Deep breath... okay.

"Thank you. Thanks... I really appreciate that." "Okay. Just try not to lean back, I might lose my balance."

He wouldn't, you both knew, but the warning put you at ease. You smiled, nearly drawing out a teasing quip in response. As gently and respectfully as possible, you made your way onto Nanami's back. Your body was pressed flatly against the broad, dense surface of his. With sturdy arms roped around the plush of your thighs that rested on both sides of his waist, he resumed a slower pace.

The bob of his walk complimented the steady rhythm of his heart, both of which reverberated through your own chest making you wish you could sink into him. The newfound warmth soothed the growing aches and you slipped into sleep. No matter how hard you tried, your body could never forget the comfort that his brought you.

"Maybe this isn't a good idea..." "...Sure." I guess the illusion of this fantasy had finally caught up to you two. Five months of willingly bending your own limits, testing the line of professionalism and personal boundaries. Neither of you would've ever sought out another sorcerer as a long-term partner. Sort of stupid to think that indulging in each other carnally would be a sustainable form of healing. With this, there was no dating. No tender moments in public or meeting family. And no telling coworkers... absolutely not. The closest semblance to a normal partnership was the rare mission assigned together. The ones you both went on afar from Tokyo, apart from the blood and guts, felt a bit like little vacations. But even if his hands fell onto and held your waist a certain way. Or if his teeth tugged your bottom lip as his to claim. Even with the smiles that bookended your meetings of intimately learning the other's weaknesses. This was not that kind of relationship. "I don't regret where we are. But being like this might do more harm than good longterm." What an incredibly stupid conversation to have in bed. And what a crazy thing for him to say with his lips still pressed to your neck. "Kento... I don't think we were planning on doing this forever, right?" So why do this in the first place? Maybe he doesn't need a friend (is that what you are?) like you anymore. The sex, itself, was never the problem. If it was, the conversation wouldn't have followed your pleads for him to consume every part of you (and him fulfilling every request.) Pillow talk and waxing poetic about alternative lives or separate futures would eventually run dry. Neither person wanted to escalate beyond where you two comfortably were. Blissfully uncoupled. And as cathartic as it proved, unpacking core memories and histories as a non-couple was... very intimate for the type of relationship you agreed to share. But sometimes you figured you could do this... it all... forever, at lest with him. Not that forever was particularly long for the average career sorcerer anyway. Your own trauma was similar to his own formative heartbreaks, both spoken about in bits and pieces scattered across your time together. Compassion and the embracing calm of your bedroom beckoned Nanami's largely regulated vulnerability. Five months of unlocking each other to see and be seen, if only for a few hours. Maybe what you both really needed was a good therapist? "Hey... Kento?" "Yes?" "Do you still want to work together?" "Of course... but I think we'll need distance." "Of course. Yeah... ok. Ok... just don't treat me like a stranger." "I never will."

Of course. Responsibility was never solely about physical strength, but about balancing the variables: endurance, intuition, experience, maybe even spite at times… but, most importantly, care. And he was always so responsible.

A responsible, capable, and careful man would do what he could to protect you. How cruel would it be for him to suddenly change when your heart had been so close to his, then and now? Of course a responsible man would carry you when you were down and he'd even let you dampen his shoulder with your tears, awake or not. Naturally, he'd let you grieve what should have been let go.

For the sake of work, sanity, and your friendship.

So here you two were. Nearly five more months down the line since your last meeting. And as much as the partnership changed, the players stayed the same. Accepting another rare assignment together, but with the new goal of making it unremarkable. Just work. Open and closed, with no strings attached.

[links-in-time]

Twilight Warriors

Chapter 1

This follows on from my fic 'Imposter'.

It's also me paying homage to @st0rmyskies. This is a love letter and prequel to their amazing fic 'Polyamorous Disaster Sky'. As well as their other work which I highly recommend.

I wanted to write my version of how I thought Warriors and Twilight's relationship got started before Sky became involved.

Anyway usual 🔞 warnings, enjoy 😊

"Shit! This is bad Twi!" Wars grunted, shifting Twi's slightly heavier body into a more comfortable position.

"It's not great but it's not terrible!" Twilight replied, tentatively poking at the arrow sticking out of his left shoulder.

"Stop doing that!" Wars smacked his hand away before Twilight could do any more damage.

"It's fine. I'll just pull it out and keep goin. Hand me a potion and I'll be right as rain," Twilight insisted. But his smile faded when he noticed Wars' stricken expression.

"What's wrong?"

"You mean other than the arrow in your shoulder? I haven't got any potions or fairies left. And if you're asking me then I'm guessing you don't either."

"Well, shit!"

"My sentiments exactly," Wars nodded.

He had managed to wrestle Twilight away from the battle in order to examine his wound. Having come up empty on healing items Wars was at a loss for what to do next. The blasted portal had spat them out in the middle of a monster camp. Enormous moblins from Wild's era surrounded them on all sides. He could still hear the others fighting for their lives not far away. Hopefully it wouldn't be long until they finished off the monsters and help would be on its way.

"We'll just have to wait for the others. One of them must have something to help. But I don't want to take that arrow out until they do." Wars insisted, trying to stay calm and level headed. Never mind that the man he had recently developed feelings for was bleeding in his arms.

"I'll be alright Cap," Twilight sighed, looking up at Wars with his lopsided grin which made Wars' knees weak. "I'm tougher than I look."

"Well you must be made of steel because you look pretty tough my friend." Wars chuckled.

His eyes kept flicking to the shaft embedded in Twi's shoulder. A million and one scenarios flashed through his mind. Not all of them bad, but only a handful of them had happy endings. His biggest concern was infection. Wars doubted moblins worried about keeping their weapons clean. The arrow head was likely dirty if not poisoned. Twilight hadn't shown any signs of poisoning, but he hadn't crossed it off the list just yet. A potion could heal most poison damage, but infections were tricky. They weren't always totally cleared up by magic, being a natural occurrence. He didn't understand why, that's just they way things worked sometimes.

"I'll be alright Wars, I've dealt with a lot worse trust me," Twi tried to assure him, gently rubbing Wars hand on his arm with his thumb.

It was a good long while before anyone came to find them. Four had a gash across his forehead, just below his head band. He was panting hard as he pushed through the brush towards them.

"I found them! They're here! Twi's hurt!" He yelled over his shoulder. "What happened? I saw you guys disappear earlier and assumed the worst." Four asked, as he dropped to his knees on the opposite side of Twilight to Wars.

"Got hit by an arrow. Can't move my left arm just now." Twilight explained plainly.

"Not good. I'll go get Hyrule. He was dealing with Wind but he should be done now."

Four sprung back to his feet and was away agin.

"Wait what happened to Wind?!" Wars called after him.

"You're such a mother cooco!" Twilight chuckled.

"Shut up you idiot," Wars huffed, no real feeling in his words.

"Aww, you always call me such sweet nicknames Cap."

"Alright now really do shut up. I'm not sure I want the others know about our little... whatever it is going on between us."

"Okay, no worries, I won't say anything," Twilight insisted and Wars could tell he wasn't teasing anymore.

Help in the form of Hyrule and Time came a few minutes later. Time held Twilight still while Wars pulled the arrow. An instant later Hyrule's healing magic flowed through Twilight's vains, stitching his skin back together. A small pink scar was all that remained just visible beneath Twilight's tunic.

"How'd you feel Twi?" Time asked, looking down at Twilight from where he sat above his head.

Twilight stared up at Time's upside down face and gave him a smile.

"Much better Old Man. Thanks Rulie, the rest of you okay?" Twilight sighed in reply.

"Everyone is mostly fine. After I fixed up Wind he claimed he spotted a village through his telescope, just up ahead on the road," Hyrule replied.

Wars thought the young hero looked exhausted. He always did after using his healing magic on so many people.

"Alright, we'll make for the village and hope we can find somewhere to stay and rest a while. Once we figure out who's era we're in we can come up with a better plan." Wars decided, his grip on Twilight's arm tightening slightly.

"Actually Four thinks it might be his, but he's not quite sure where the portal dropped us yet." Hyrule added.

"Alright, village it is," Time concluded, pushing himself to his feet with a groan. "Can you walk now Twi?"

"Yeah I'm good," Twilight insisted, gently easing Wars' hand off his arm. "Let's get moving."

The Chain moved slowly along the road Wind had found, towards the little houses off in the distance. Wars didn't walk directly beside Twilight, but he hovered near him, hardly allowing the Rancher out of his sight. He seemed fine. The chances of poison had dwindled to nothing. Maybe he was worrying needlessly. Still, he had dried smears of Twilight's blood on his hands. Wars curled his fists and tried to ignore it.

The village was small. So small in fact that there were no shops and no Inn. Time and Four spoke to a farmer who said he had a barn large enough to accommodate all of them. Four gave the old man what he thought was a generous handful of rupies and thanked him for his hospitality.

The barn was designed to house sheep and other livestock. Twilight instantly felt at home. The barn was drafty but it was the middle of summer and the breezes blowing through the cracks in the boards were pleasant. He smiled contently to himself and started unpacking his bedroll and his weapons to check a few things over.

"I don't think we're too far from my town," Four informed them.

As usual Wild's map was useless, just a fuzzy screen and only his inventory was available to him.

"We'll spend the night here then press on in the morning. These people don't seem to have been bothered by the monsters so far, I'd like to keep it that way," Time said to the others.

Wars washed his hands with the last of his water before handing it over to Sky to be filled with everyone else's.

"I'm going to go for a quick walk around the village, make sure we didn't miss any monsters back there," Wars announced.

He was already turning towards the door of the barn when he felt Twilight's hand grip his arm.

"I'll come with you. I could do with stretching my legs a bit more," he uttered, quickly letting go of Wars.

Together the pair left the barn and headed for the edge of the village. It really was small, just a collection of farm buildings and squat single story houses. Twilight spent a while saying hello to the flock of sheep out in one of the fields while Wars rolled his eyes.

Secretly though he found Twilight's way with animals both impressive and endearing. He had an amazing way with them. Like he could speak to them in their language, calm them with his natural kindness. Wars wondered if he'd ever used that soothing talent on any of his brothers.

They walked across the main road through the other end of the village in about fifteen minutes and rounded the corner back towards the barn.

"Did you see that?" Twilight asked suddenly, pointing off between two houses towards some trees.

"What?"

Wars was instantly on alert. His ears pricked for any sound ahead of them. He couldn't see whatever it was Twilight had spotted, but he trusted Twi's instincts. They were always odly accurate.

"I'm sure I saw somethin slip between those two buildings. Might have just been an animal, but we should check it out."

"Alright, I'll follow your lead," Wars replied, drawing his sword just in case.

Twilight and Warriors approached the two buildings, shoulders tensed and senses seaking out anything out of the ordinary. Wars attention drifted away from Twilight towards the trees nearby. Which is why when Twilight rounded on him and pinned Wars against one of the walls, he dropped his sword in surprise.

"Twi what are you...?!" He protested.

Twilight cut off Warriors question with his lips. Planting them firmly with all the pent up passion he had felt throughout the last few days. When he drew back for breath Wars was staring at him, eyebrow raised.

"You didn't see anything, did you?"

"I might have," Twilight replied coily. "We could always go and check. Or we could stay here."

To emphasise his point Twilight pressed his thigh between Wars' legs, putting pressure on his groin. Wars whimpered, a sound which drove Twilight forwards, like a predator taking advantage of its preys weakness. He met Wars' lips once more, kissing him while his hands went to the man's hips to push him roughly against the wall.

"Mmm," Wars moaned into Twilight's mouth, as he began rubbing himself against Twi's leg.

Twilight grinned, flashing his teeth before dipping his head down to kiss Wars' neck. Their clothing didn't allow for much skin to skin contact, but Twilight made up for it. His lips and teeth found the soft spot beneath Wars' jaw and gently nipped his skin, earning him a soft moan from the Captain. Twilight hummed to himself in satisfaction. Watching someone like Warriors wriggle under his touch was intoxicating.

"You okay?" Twi asked, as Wars shuddered at the touch of Twi's tongue on his ear.

"Oh yes," Wars breathed, his hands wrapped tightly around Twilight's shoulders. "Oh Twi!"

Twilight chuckled a little and Wars felt it pass between their chests, tightly pressed together. He let his head fall back against the wall of the building while Twi continued to suckle at the soft skin of his neck.

"We sh-should probably get back. The others will start to wonder where we are," Wars uttered, just about able to keep from stammering.

Twilight moaned softly against his ear.

"I don't want to go back."

"They'll get suspicious. And I don't fancy the tease fest I know Legend will give us if he found out. Come on Twi. You know I want to, but let's be at least a little sensible about this."

Twilight withdrew a little. He stopped pinning Wars against the wall quite so firmly. And he eased his leg out from between Wars' thighs.

"Okay, we'll be careful. When we're with the others everything can be normal. We'll just have to take every chance we can to be alone," Twilight finally relented.

Wars reached up and stroked Twilight's cheek.

"I might be making my perimeter sweeps a bit longer from now on then!"

***

Wild made a simple meal of grilled meat and vegetables for dinner, after which everyone went to sleep. All except for Time who sat on watch at the barn door. The night passed without incident. Watch shifts were exchanged until Legend passed by Twilight at the end of his shift. The older hero was wrapped up in his blanket as usual. But Legend noticed Twilight seemed to be shivering. It wasn't cold by any estimation, it had been quite a pleasant night. But Twilight was definitely shivering.

Concerned, Legend took a few steps closer and squatted down beside Twilight's head. He reached out and laid the back of his hand on Twi's forehead. It didn't take long for Legend to confirm what he suspected. Twi's skin was hot and slick with sweat. Legend grimaced and wiped his hand on his tunic.

"Dummy, went and got yourself a fever didn't you," Legend grumbled in a low tone.

He let out a long sigh and looked around for Time. He found him sleeping not far from the door and went to rouse him.

"Hey, Time," he said, shaking the man awake. "Twi's got a fever."

"Hmm, what?" Time replied groggily rubbing his good eye, as he tried to push himself up onto one arm.

"Twilight's got a temperature and he's shivering something fierce. I think his wound got infected and now he's got a fever," Legend explained.

As Time and Legend went to check on Twilight, the other boys began to stir. Hyrule and Warriors were quick to join Time and Legend by Twilight's side while the others gave them some space and started packing up their things.

"He's got a fever alright," Time confirmed, withdrawing his own hand from Twilight's head. "Twi, can you hear me? Are you awake?"

Twilight didn't respond so Time started gently rocking his shoulder.

"I was afraid this would happen. I should have taken the arrow out sooner," Wars sighed, shaking his head.

"He would have bled out if you'd done that," Legend remarked.

"Anything you can do Rulie?" Time asked, lifting his gaze to look at the traveller.

"I don't think so." Hyrule shook his head sadly. "He needs medicine, not potions or healing. They won't do anything for an infection like this. Good food and warmth should help with the fever, but yeah, medicine."

"I'll go see if anyone in the village has anything that could help," Legend announced, already getting to his feet.

"I'll come with you," Hyrule replied, following the Vet to the door.

It didn't take long for the two boys to come back from their search. The villagers had been sad to inform them that they only had medicine for their animals and a few small supplies for themselves. However there was a larger town nearby where they should be able to get what they needed.

"Sounds like my home town," Four remarked. "I could get us some lodging if we went there."

"Twi's not in any fit state to travel Smithy," Wars reminded him, a gentle hand laid on Twilight's shoulder. "I suggest we split up. Some of us go to town and get medicine for Twilight. Some of us stay with him here and do the best we can until the others get back."

"Sounds like a good plan," Sky agreed.

"I think Four, Legend, Wind and Sky should go to the town. Maybe you should go too Time. Hyrule should stay in case Twi gets worse and he can do anything. And maybe Wild, perhaps you could make him some soup?" Wars continued, addressing each of the boys as he spoke to them.

"That's a solid plan Captain, anyone have any other suggestions?" Time affirmed.

There weren't any objections to Warriors' plan, so the boys going to town finished packing up and left as quickly as they could. Four assured Wars that they would get there and back as soon as possible and not to worry.

Wild went to forrage for ingredients even had a pumpkin donated from one of the farmers. Wars was pleased to see Twilight finally open his eyes when Wild started cooking in one of his portable pots.

"Hey, how are you feeling?" He asked softly, brushing some of Twilight's bangs out of his face.

"Like crap," he croaked, his voice thin and weak compared to the commanding tone he had used on Wars only the day before.

"Some of the others have gone to fetch you some medicine. Wild's cooking pumpkin soup." Wars explained.

"Smells good," Twilight remarked, following his nose towards the source of the delectable smells wafting from Wild's stove.

"I'm glad you haven't lost your appetite. Think you could sit up and drink some water?"

"Sure."

Warriors helped prop Twilight up against a bale of hay they had moved behind his bed roll. He groaned a little but mostly he just seemed exhausted.

"Are you warm enough?" Wars asked, his hand already on a spare blanket folded up beside him.

"I'm 'k for now," Twilight sighed, taking a deep breath.

Wars handed Twilight his canteen and carefully watched Twi taking slow sips. He was pleased to see him drink quite a bit before he handed it back. Not long after Wild arrived with two bowls of steaming soup.

"I tried to make it the way Sky said, but we didn't have all the right herbs. Tastes good though. Hope it helps," Wild informed them as he passed both bowls to Warriors.

"Thanks Wild, you and Hyrule alright?" Warriors replied, looking past Wild to where Hyrule sat reading.

"We're fine. Hyrule's a little fidgety, but fine," Wild smiled with a shrug.

"Okay. You don't have to stay in the barn by the way. If you two want to go explore that's fine. Just don't go too far. Try to keep the village in sight in case we need you." Wars urged, trying not to make it sound like an order.

"Sure, Hyrule wanted to go look for fairies so we'll go check out the woods nearby," Wild brightened, before turning back towards Hyrule.

The two young men quickly slurped up their soup before picking up their gear and disappearing out the barn doors. Meanwhile, Wars turned his attention back to Twilight.

"You ready for some soup?"

"You going to feed me like a child?" Twilight frowned.

"I don't have to. You wanna take the bowl?"

Twilight unfolded his hands from his blanket and carefully took the bowl from Wars' hands. It was warm and made him realise just how cold and clammy his hands were. Twilight swallowed the lump in his throat as he picked up the spoon and lifted it to his mouth. He spilt half of it down his chin before he swallowed the rest. It was still hot and he almost burnt his mouth. Twilight sighed and rested his hands in his lap, defeated.

"You want me to feed you?" Wars asked, this time without any hint of teasing.

"Alright," Twilight replied begrudgingly.

Wars picked up the bowl and the spoon and shuffled himself into a better sitting position. He scooped up another spoonful and gently blew on it before feeding it to Twilight.

"Tastes good," Twilight mumbled.

"Don't talk with your mouth full," Wars remarked, loading up another spoonful.

"Yes Sir!" Twi chuckled, but there wasn't any fight in him.

His whole body seemed slumped and ragged, like the fever and exhaustion had seeped into his bones. Wars fought down his pity and continued to spoon feed Twilight. As he did, he couldn't help smile ever so slightly at the intimacy of the situation. Of course he was sorry that Twilight was ill, but there was a certain affection in what he was doing. He scraped the soup off Twilight's chin when he dribbled a little. He backed off when Twi seemed out of breath. And waited patiently when he needed a moment before he could eat any more.

Eventually Twilight said he'd had enough and couldn't stomach any more. Wars was pleased that he had consumed more than half the bowl and took it back to the pot to keep it warm in case Twi wanted more.

"Want me to feed you now?" Twi teased, wiggling his eyebrows a little.

"Ha ha. Very funny. I'd rather you not make a mess of my clothes thank you very much," Wars replied mockingly.

He picked up his own soup which wasn't quite tepid yet and quickly drained the bowl empty.

"Huh, that was good. I'd like to try the original recipe if we end up on Skyloft some day." Wars remarked, setting his bowl aside and taking a quick drink.

"I'd like to show you my home some day," Twilight sighed beside him.

"Yeah, what's your home like? You live in a place called Ordon right?"

"Yeah, I live in a tree house just-outside the village. Rusl helped build it when, when I was too old to stay with them anymore." Twilight explained, his eyelids growing heavy as he struggled to breathe between sentences.

"Sounds lovely. How about you get some rest and you can tell me more about it when you're feeling better Twi?" Wars said softly.

"Okay," Twi sighed, already slipping back down onto his bedroll.

Wars helped him a little and carefully wrapped Twilight in his blanket.

"You still warm enough?" He asked, gently pressing the backs of his fingers to Twilight's cheek.

"Bit cold," Twilight moaned, burying himself in his blanket up to his nose.

Wars nodded and unfolded the spare blanket, gently laying it over twilight and tucking it in around the edges.

"Better?"

Twilight just nodded, exhaustion already claiming his conciousness. Wars hummed in contentment, sitting back a little on his heels. He gazed down at Twilight's peaceful features. The markings on his face had always been a curiosity, but he never thought they detracted from his handsome features. Warriors had always been told he was good looking. Ever since he was a child he'd been told he'd be a heartbreaker. That never sat very well with him, and after Cia... Wars hadn't actively saught out any relationships.

There had been a few one night stands, some short term relationships that never went anywhere. People always seem to expect him to be one thing, the handsome hero. Whenever he tried to express there was more to himself than just that, people seemed to lose interest. Not Twilight. All the boys teased him for his good looks. Not with any real meanness, but even the other heroes had noticed Warriors' looks.

It seemed Twilight had noticed more about him than just his charming smile and his dazzling blue eyes. Maybe it was years of being adored for nothing more than his face that made him a little sceptical. But when Twilight looked at him it didn't feel like he was being appraised anymore. It felt like Twi was seeing him, really seeing HIM.

Imposter : Chap 2 >

[blitzyn]

petty secrets

alhaitham x m!reader

request : none

Synopsis: Alhaitham wanted to know where you were going when you decided to go out one day.

a/n -> sorry ive been gone again

wc -> 2.4k

cw -> anal sex, anal fingering, spit as lube like 1 time, spanking, rough sex, he has a big dick lol, crying just a bit, brat reader, doggy style, cowgirl, multiple rounds

You had a deep frown on your face. "Get out of the way."

"No," Alhaitham said, standing in front of your bedroom door. "Not unless you tell me where you're going."

"I don't see how any of that is your business," you walked up to him, trying to find potential gaps in the way he stood. You attempted to squeeze through from a hole on his side, but he covered it as soon as you made a move.

Knowing he would do that, you made sure to headbutt his chest a little more forcefully. He only gave out a slight grunt.

"It is my business because this is my house you're living in," he did have a point. But still – he was secretive, so why couldn't you be?

"So that automatically means I'm not allowed to have some privacy?" you rolled your eyes. "Didn't know you were like that."

"What's so private about where you're going?" He took a step forward. "What are you so hellbent on hiding?"

"None. Of. Your. Business," you said through your teeth.

"Is it because you offer yourself to more shady people down some alleyway?” he questioned with a slight smirk. You knew he wasn’t being serious, but, god, if you said that didn’t get under your skin you’d be lying.

“What? No!” you exclaimed, disgust written on your face.

“Really? You’re getting a little defensive, there.”

You let out an exaggerated groan before tossing your head back to look around. It was your average room, with a bed, dresser, closet, occasional plant, a window…

A window!

You casually strolled closer to it, casting an act akin to defeat. Your shoulders slumped forward as your hands carefully undid the hatches keeping it shut. You bit your cheek, surveying the drop. You could probably soften your landing with your vision. Somehow.

Falling on the bushes seemed okay, too.

You briefly made eye contact with him in the reflection before opening the window as fast as you could. It seemed he got the same idea as he — surprisingly — jumped over the bed just as you leaped out. You let out a pained wheeze as you were very ungraciously slammed against the wall of the house, the tight grip his arms had around your waist making it harder for you to breathe. Guess all his muscles weren’t for nothing.

He hauled you back inside and tossed you onto the bed, where you tried to make your escape again.

“Stop moving–” he demanded as he dragged you back to him by your legs.

“No!”

You squirmed and thrashed in his hold as he pinned you to the bed by your arms. Fuck, he was strong.

“You’re acting like such a child,” his eyebrows furrowed in frustration. 

“Yeah? What are you gonna do about it? Spank me?” you continued to writhe, tugging your arms in a futile attempt to free them.

“I might have to if you keep this up,” he responded, his words taking you by surprise. You froze and stared up at him in disbelief.

You rolled your eyes soon after. "You won't."

"Are you testing me?"

"I don't know. Am I?"

He watched you with an intense gaze for a moment before forcefully flipping you over.

"Hey– Wait– I was just joking!" you clawed at the bedsheets.

"I'm not stupid, [Name]," he paused momentarily. "I've seen the way you look at me. I've heard you touch yourself to the thought of me. You could have said anything else that could be considered punishment for a child. But you mentioned spanking."

You couldn't bear to face him.

"Do you know why?" he leaned close to your ear. "Because you want it."

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” you muttered.

“So now you’re lying?” he hummed. “Liars must be reprimanded, you know.”

He moved your body so that you laid across his lap. Your stomach slightly ached in the position as you held onto the bed with one hand for stability. Your vision was upside down, and all you could see was the underside of his thighs and your legs.

One of his arms was draped across your torso to keep you close to him while the other rested on your lower back.

“You’re not actually gonna do this, a-are you?” you asked, face burning.

“I am,” he confirmed, the tips of his fingers sliding underneath the waistband of your pants. He went slow to make sure your objections weren’t true, and when he received no signs of rejection, he swiftly pulled them off.

You yelped, clenching your thighs together. His hand smoothed over the curve of your ass, his cold skin sending shivers through your body. And, without warning, he suddenly slapped you. Your feet pushed against the floor, but his arm kept you from moving too much.

The thin cloth of the sleeve that connected to his finger softened the hit somewhat, but the dull ache that came with it hurt more than you anticipated. He alternated sides rhythmically, each spank starting to hurt more than the last. You uncontrollably squirmed in a futile attempt to find a position that would make it hurt less.

He pinched your skin. “Stop moving so much.”

The demanding tone in his voice sounded a lot more threatening than before, which made you completely freeze in response.

“So this is what gets you all obedient, huh?” Alhaitham ran his hand over the welted flesh.

“No it’s–“ you cut yourself off with a pained groan when he hit you again. All you could feel was an agonizing, dull throb in the spots he aimed at; you knew you would be sore for at least a few days.

He raised his arm again and brought it down harder than the rest, literally making you jolt forward on his lap. You let out a surprised squeal at the burn. Your noises turned into ill-concealed whines and groans when he kept going, your skin feeling hot to the touch.

“W–wait! Not so hard!” you exclaimed.

“It doesn’t seem like you’re in a position to be making any demands,” he reminded you. “So just be good for once and take it.”

He spanked you as a way to finally let out all the pent-up anger he had because of you. He loved the way you were finally quiet — save for the noises you couldn’t help but release — and how your eyes began prickling with tears. It was better than your incessant complaints about everything that displeased you, at least.

He slapped you to his heart’s content, giving you exactly what you deserved. It wasn’t until you were trembling did he finally stop, the burning feeling quickly transitioning into something akin to tingling and numb.

“Y-You done?” you stammered, meekly peering back at him.

“Are you?” he questioned with a raised brow.

You kept quiet, hanging your head in embarrassment before muttering, “No…”

He hummed in acknowledgement before moving the hand that was holding your back to the underside of your jaw, holding your head up. He used his other one to push two fingers into your mouth, uncaring of the way you choked. He rubbed them along your tongue, gathering your saliva before taking them out to prod at your hole.

You sighed as he pushed one then the other in, quickly setting a scissoring motion. He pushed them as far as he could go in your position, whimpering when his palm lightly slapped your sensitive ass. You could feel his hardening cock pressing against your side, so you opted to reach back to gently rub him through his clothes. His breath hitched as he brushed his fingers against your prostate in return.

You whined when he suddenly removed them from you, feeling uncomfortably empty.

“Hands and knees,” he said, rising from the bed to rid himself of his clothes. “And take off your shirt.”

You complied with a nod, settling on the bed. Your dick throbbed almost painfully, and you couldn’t help but softly stroke yourself. You let out little sighs of satisfaction as you granted yourself the relief you so craved.

“I didn’t tell you to touch yourself,” Alhaitham spoke from behind you. The mattress dipped under your combined weight.

“But you also didn’t tell me I couldn’t,” you countered with a huff, positioning your body like he instructed. He briefly pinched your skin in response, so you lightly kicked him.

“I don’t suppose you have any lube lying around, do you?”

You lowly grumbled curses under your breath. “It’s in the dresser.”

He left your side momentarily to grab it, returning swiftly to pour a generous amount in his hands. He rubbed it around his cock for a few seconds before inserting his fingers inside you again — for good measure.

You decided to glance back at him, eyes unashamedly straying down to look at his cock. They widened; he was bigger than you thought.

“What?” he noticed your staring. “Nothing you can’t handle, right?”

“Obviously,” your voice sounded a little weaker than intended. Oh, well.

He had a small smirk on his face as he finally began pushing his cock into you, forcing you to stretch to accommodate him. The burn felt so good, and you were suddenly unable to think. It felt like you couldn’t breathe, and it didn’t help that it was still budging in, feeling fuller than you’d ever felt before. He lowly grunted as he fucked the rest of it inside with a snap of his hips.

You pitifully trembled as you felt the weight of his cock pressing against your stomach. You literally couldn’t believe it, and chalked it up as your imagination. He had a firm grip on you as he pulled out, only to drive his hips hard enough to make the headboard strike the wall rather loudly.

Each thrust ebbed away at your surroundings, jaw slack, releasing your moans without a care for whoever heard them. His hips slammed against your already sore ass, providing you with more sensations to overwhelm you with. It sent sparks behind your eyelids, your skin, through your veins.

He rammed his dick so far in you it had your throat clenching like your hole was, strangling your moans and cries. He fucked you with abandon, bruising you in the best way possible. It was as if he was using all the anger he dealt with when he had to put up with your bullshit to provide the power into his thrusts. He was frustrated, but satisfied he managed to bring you down like this, even if he knew it wouldn’t last long.

The bed creaked noisily, which only mixed in with your whorish moans and his deep grunts. You felt tingly all over as his cockhead pressed against your prostate, your dick weeping copious amounts of precum onto the bed. You sobbed into your pillow as you were brought closer and closer to your orgasm. You let out a choked moan as the coil in your abdomen snapped, spurting your fluids across the sheets.

Alhaitham groaned as you tightened around him, pushing himself as far as he could inside you as he came. You felt his cock throb and twitch, relishing in the feeling of his cum coating your insides.

It wasn’t until a few moments later did you raise your head to peer back at him again. His cheeks were flushed a pretty red as sweat rolled down his forehead. You wanted more.

“Is that all you got?”

He rolled his eyes with an annoyed expression on his face before switching positions. You lightly wobbled as you processed the change. His multi-colored eyes watched you expectantly, hands resting on your thighs. You placed yours on his chest to balance yourself as you slowly raised your hips to start fucking yourself on his cock.

You set a gentler pace, much unlike the one he had a few minutes prior. Some of his cum pooled around the base of his dick in a creamy ring as you continued.

He slapped your ass again. “Go faster.”

You looked down at him and swallowed nervously. You couldn’t. You were far too sensitive to start pushing yourself.

But, like always, you just had to run your mouth. “You think I’m trying to make you feel good?”

You could see his jaw clench just as he dug the heels of his feet into the bed, snapping his hips up into you. This position made his cockhead fuck your prostate with a bit more accuracy than before, sending a painful — but arousing — burn to your cock. His arms wrapped around your waist to squeeze you to him as he pistoned up into you.

Your arms couldn’t hold you up any longer as you fell on top of him. You buried your face into the crook of his neck to hide the tears in your eyes. From there, you could hear every noise he made, which, truthfully, sent electricity up and down your spine. Every breath and grunt and groan he made was engraved in your mind for the next time you touched yourself to the thought of him.

Panting hard, his thrusts slowly lost their rhythm.

With a strained cry, you arched your back and accidentally rubbed your sensitive cock against his abdomen, providing you with that final push over the edge. You tightened and spasmed around him as he came alongside you, squeezing you as close to him as possible as his cum filled your insides yet again. With his dick and the previous load already there, majority of it seeped through your hole and down his shaft.

With a tired grunt, his hips plopped back onto the bed with you flush against him. The two of you lay there in silence.

“I was just going out to eat,” you mumbled against his neck.

It took him a moment to process that.

“And you hid that from me because…?”

“Because you don’t need to know everything I do,” you sighed.

“You didn’t need to try to jump out of the window, you know,” he looked at you from the corner of his eye.

“Yeah, but I didn’t feel like paying you in case I broke something of yours,” you explained.

“You’re not that strong. Calm down, there,” he teased.

“What? I am that strong!” you huffed. “You just haven’t seen me fight.”

He nodded with an amused tone in his voice. “Right.”

cross-posted on ao3