#If I manage to keep up the momentum to finish it lol

[jaylleoo14]

"Can I kiss you?"

Octavinelle x gn!reader

A/N: Simple. The sea trio has corrupted my mind and so here I am writing this at 1:03 AM and finishing this up two days later LOL. I actually took forever because I kept squealing and getting off track during the writing process. "I NEED TO DRAW THIS" I would say to myself haha. I wrote them without much consideration on how long each might be so one of them may be shorter compare to the others or it may be longer, but please do enjoy^^ (May or may not do the other dorms, unless...)

[Disclaimer] TOO MUCH FLUFF

[characters] Floyd, Azul, Jade

Azul

3:24 PM - The Mostro Lounge sits under blue and silver burnished lighting as the sound of music fills the air. Accompanied by voices and the clinks of dishes, there you sat in the more private area of what adds to Octavinelle - Azuls office.

Something you both have learned to get accustomed to was to just do work alongside each other without the need of having to talk. It was just work. Nothing more. Of course some small talk here and there, asking opinions or maybe asking for help- though it was usually you who asked for it and less of Azul- but regardless it was back off to work. It's quite simple really, Azul is a busy and hard working person so he'd naturally have a lot to manage with. You had to keep up with your studies and try to manage how to handle your money and savings accordingly, along with planning events into your calendar for upcoming school occasions.

You and Azul have been dating for about half a year now, and although not all the time, most of the time you spend your free time here doing your work accompanying Azul as he does his. You both simply enjoy each other's presence, the silence between you two which is filled with the scritches and scratches of his fish-bone felt tip pen and your pencil against the many pages of papers were not at all awkward. It showed a sense of comfortability and familiarity, a tranquil silence in the room. Though of course, like almost any couple you begin to crave some attention from your dearly beloved.

3:27 PM - Placing your pencil down, it now rolling off to the side a little due to the momentum, you lean back onto the back cushions of Azuls couch placed in the middle of his office. Working for about 15 minutes now you decided you needed a break, stretching your arms back as you release your breath through your nostrils.

"Going to take a break Angelfish?" Without even having to look up, the sound of you leaning into his leather cushion and your stretched out groan already tells him enough information that you're ready to just try and relax and rejuvenate yourself.

"Mmmh yea, I think 15 minutes of work is good enough for now. I'll go back to it once I rest up," is all you say in response as you lean your body over to lay on the couch. He only lets out a hum to let you acknowledge that he was listening. Now that you weren't focused on your own work, you can hear him writing with a rich shink-like noise and papers constantly flipped and turned every 30 seconds.

I wonder what he's working on, you think to yourself as you stare up at the dark blue arched ceiling. You prop yourself up with your elbows, pushing yourself up as you move your legs off the couch. Springing off, you head on over to where Azul was working around behind the desk and peered over towards him. "Whatcha working on?" Voice soft and curious, an undertone of boredom.

"Just some useful material intended to aid students," he says in a gentle manner, his eyes still glued onto the papers. "Oh yea? How much longer till you finish up with those study guides?" You lean over a bit closer as you stand next to him, his handwriting as intricate and beautifully cursive as ever; yet still eligible for those who have a harder time understanding.

He lets out a little inquisitive hum as if trying to accurately calculate when he'd be finished by. "About in an hour or so," he says finally after seconds worth of time. "I'd say make that an hour-thirty to two from now" you say with a little soft laugh escaping your lips.

3:30 - Standing next to Azul as he preps material, you slowly come to look at Azul himself instead of what Azul was working on. Being able to see the sight of his silver crowned locks of hair that curls into beautiful waves. Only after making your comment does he stop his hand and turn to look up at you from where he sat.

After finally not being able to properly see Azul's face the entire time you were working, seeing his face was a sort of refreshment to your heart and the soft smile on your face shows that. "And what prompts you to assume such a thing my dear?" He can only be met with a giggly response, his serious and quizzical face only prompting you to let out more chains of giggles.

"Tell me what you are suddenly finding so funny? I certainly am positive that I haven't done anything humorous." You tilt your head a little to the side, your grin getting slowly bigger as you clasped your hands behind your back. Azul can already pick up that you're trying to whip something up.

"You know Azul, when was the last time you kissed me?"

And there he goes, short circuiting as the sudden change of mood drifts him like the ocean currents. "I-Is this what you're on about?" He certainly has picked up by what you meant with your earlier comment now that you've voiced your question. "Oh dear, do you perhaps feel neglected since i've been working so much Angelfish?"

"Don't try to act smug. Answer my question, when was the last time you kissed me?" You immediately shoot down his question as you direct it back to yours and it sends his cheeks a pigmented red while he tries to keep his cool. He understands that you wont stop asking him this question and so he answers away.

"I recall it to be a few weeks back."

"And where did you kiss me?"

"I-I don't see how that- hah, on the cheek. Seriously (y/n) what is the relevancy in asking such- "

"Ah! Hold it! So you're telling me you've been giving me kisses and I've been giving you kisses but we've never actually kissed at the same time?"

3:33 - Here you are facing Azul as you look at his tinted red face, picking up where your suggestion leads. What awaits is permission to boldly take your relationship to the next level.

"Can I kiss you Azul? And not on the hands or on the cheek like we usually do." You give him a soft pleading look, your cheeks also decorated in a lovely shade of red as you wait for his response patiently. Clearing his throat and having the need to suddenly fix his not crooked glasses, he gives you a very shy yet still doing his best to be serious look. Before answering, he quickly resolves himself and a more confident smirk is plastered on his face. As he pushes himself up from his chair he closes in the distance and comes in close towards you, wrapping an arm around your back.

"Ask and you shall receive, a small kiss is worth the price of my time for you my Angelfish," he says it ever so calmly and confidently. Though the redness of his cheeks give away that he was otherwise and it makes your heart squeeze and beat crazy because of how cute he was being right now.

"You're being so cute right now you know that? You don't have to force yourself, you know." Your voice is gentle and smooth as if it were raw honey. Bringing a hand to tuck the longer piece of hair that made up his hairstyle, you give him the most adored stricken smile ever and he can only feel his heart beating out of his chest.

"No no, it's about time we started to get more intimate considering how long we've been together now. Thank you for going at my preferred pace, I'd like to give you an honorarium payment." You let out an amused chuckle and let him prepare himself, closing your eyes as you wait for him to go in at his own pace. Though you least expect it when he suddenly goes in very quickly. His lips are stiffly pressed against yours for a couple of seconds and it has you opening your eyes in surprise. You're met with a red faced Azul -which can be compared to a steamed and cooked octopus- looking flustered and a little awkward as he seemed to have a little dissatisfactory expression on his face. "That... Did not go as well as I had hoped it to be."

A jovial and convivial laughter fills up the room in your sound and it only makes Azul shrivel in embarrassment. You can practically see the steam coming from his head as well. "Well that was a little anticlimactic don't you think?" Wrapping your arms around his neck he can only let out an embarrassed groan at your little comment. "What do you expect from someone who's inexperienced with committing such an act? I'm positive however that with enough practice I can redeem myself and satisfy you." He tries to sound all the more reasoning, which only prompts you to laugh even more.

"You want to kiss more?" Saying through slips of giggles. You feel his hold on your back tighten a bit more, still applying gentle and reaffirming pressure as he presses you both together. "How else do you suggest I be better then?" You turn and motion your body over to the desk, leaning your lower back against it as Azul follows along. "Hmm, I'm absolutely positive that it'll take you two hours to finish those study guides now." You pull a little amused laugh out of him as he slowly goes in once again, tilting his head to the side and his eyes looking to align with yours. "Mmm perhaps. I guess we'll have to see just how long it'll take for me to get better then." And in he goes, the kiss feeling much more natural and a mark of showing a deeper significance in your ongoing relationship.

Jade

The nights on campus here were unusually less disturbed and a lot colder now, which makes sense considering that it is now winter break. The students here at Night Raven College had all gone home to reunite with their families after departing to pursue and complete their highschool education. However a certain group of individuals tend to stay during this time period, and that being the dorm leader of Octavinelle, the vice dorm leader, and the vice dorm leader's twin brother.

Like a lot of teenagers, its normal to come across at least 10 students at night since many are nocturnal people and they share the hobby of walking around. Especially when the sky is dark. You are one of those people. Someone who indulges themselves into the canvas of black paint littered with shining splatter of stars. Regardless of what the weather is like, you willingly go out of your way to enjoy the peacefulness of the night, watching it as it goes through the different seasons. Walking around in the winter's night air you can see your breath whenever you huff out, a shiver going through your shoulders. A little reminder that its the cold season now.

The chilly weather seems to be getting to you so you turn back from where you presently are and walk back to your good ol' home, Ramshackle dorm. As you make your way back from the main road you can make out a tall dark figure up ahead, prompting you to slow down and start to get wary. Upon getting closer and squinting your eyes a little, you can see teal hair shining a bit under the orange light which was radiating off a nearby light pole. Oh, it's Jade! You remember Jade mentioning that he liked to also go out late at night, though this is your first time ever encountering him on your usual walks. Perhaps he too is taking advantage of the quieter nights.

You and Jade have been a little on and off. You cant quite describe it, its complicated really. Sometimes you feel like you cant understand Jade because he's always making things open-ended, leaving them up to your interpretations. You like him, that much is obvious. But there are plenty of times where he's shown interest in you, and other times where it may not feel as so and it throws you off. Its frustrating not knowing how he feels about you, as if its some sort of game you two play. Regardless of his little plays though, you continue to enjoy yourself in the game.

A slight breeze hits your figure and it causes you to shiver, rubbing your arms to enforce friction in hopes of warming you up. You figured it may be best to leave Jade alone so he can enjoy himself in peace doing whatever he was doing. And off you go, turning on your heel and continuing your venture.

The sky is so pretty, you think to yourself. It has you arching your neck up and leaning your head back as you stare at the night sky, continuing your walk. You cant help but look at how pretty the stars are knitted together in a beautiful cluster, zoning out a bit as you continue forward.

Suddenly a hand is placed on your shoulder and it causes you to jolt up like a scared cat, making you break out of your trance. A yell is ushered out of you as you quickly turn around to see who this person could be, and you're only met facing Jade.

"Oh dear, I do apologize for my sudden notice. But your voice sounds lovely even when out of fear fufu"

Your heart is still pounding and your eyes are opened widely, staring at him with disbelief and shock. "J-Jade! What are you doing?! God you freaking scared me oh my gosh." Your little scared moment certainly has him entertained as he lets out another chuckle.

"You seem to be so infatuated with the sky that you failed to notice your surroundings. I was only doing my part in trying to help you realize that."

"What do you me-?" As you turn around your quickly met with a lamp pole right in front of your face and it causes you to flinch back a bit. "Oh." Turning around to face him again you feel yourself feeling a bit embarrassed that he caught you about to do something embarrassing. "Thanks Jade... What are you doing out so late?"

"I could ask you the same thing. I was just taking advantage of the quiet night and looking at the nature of the trees." He looks over you, a genuine smile on his face plastered as what you can assume to be looking at the area around us. "However I stayed aware of my surroundings despite having my own infatuations." His little snarky yet calm remark causes you to let out a groan, a pout slightly forming on your lips.

"I was also taking advantage of tonight as well thank you very much." Straightening your back, you cross your arms and give him a slight frown as if trying to regain back your little pride. Then quite suddenly a gust of wind howls a bit in your direction, causing you to shiver and quiver a bit. "Tonight is quite cold I must say." His slight remark makes you shiver even more as you are reminded of the cold.

"Yea, no kidding. I didn't prepare well enough so I'm going to head back." Your face is cold to the touch and your nose and cheeks can be seen slightly red under the pale moonlight. "Oh I see, perhaps I can accompany you then." He offers yet you turn him down in a polite manner. Your reasons? It's obvious you like Jade. You really like him, though because of all these mixed signals you can't help but feel like you need to stop. It already frustrates you enough and so you need to let these feelings die down even though sometimes you really do get a kick from the things he does.

"You seem to be quite cold indeed (y/n), if I can't accompany you back then please allow me to warm you up for your trip."

His words seem to catch you off guard and you look up at him quizzically. He doesn't seem to be wearing any sort of jacket, how can he offer you warmth? He chuckles a bit, amused to see your confused scrunched face. Gently bringing a hand to your cheeks your eyes can't seem to help but widen in shock a little from the sudden gentle advancement, your brain going blank.

"Can I kiss you, Prefect?" He says it ever so softly, his voice wrapping you up like a soft blanket. Did Jade really just ask to kiss you? What's going on, is this even real right now? Are you dreaming? Is this another one of his games? You feel your face starting to heat up and your heart is starting to race.

"W-Wait, what? Did I hear that right?" You say in disbelief, but he knows you heard it correctly because of your red face. His hands cupping your face causes you to freeze in the moment and all you can hear is the loud drums of your heart. Leaning down a bit more you can see his eyes perfectly now, his heterochromia jewel like eyes shimmering. "I must admit i'm a little hurt to see you trying to avoid me recently Prefect. I apologize for beating around the bush for so long, I hope you can take this kiss as a form of acceptance for my feelings and my apology."

This eel.... THIS EEL! He knows what he's doing, he knows! You're left stammering a bit before you could answer, the feeling of your head spinning. "I...accept your apology." And with that he goes down in one smooth motion, his lips in contact with yours with a perfect fit. Once he leans back, your eyes are met and he lets out a content hum. "I'm glad to see you're quite warmed up now. And if I must add, happier too." A big goofy smile is placed on your face as if you just won the lottery, your face all red and heated. "You know, I actually wouldn't mind if you were to accompany me back now. Who knows what might be out here."

You seem to be in a giddy mood, no longer holding back. Finally, you can understand Jade's true feelings for you now. It makes you overjoyed, a feeling of happiness now that you understand. And with a smile on his face he agrees, playing along with your little game of words. The feeling of warmth and fluffy happiness fills you up, and the cold cant compare with that as you make your way back with Jade, his little darling Pearl.

Floyd

"WHAT THE HELL FLOYD?!"

Crash!

Ah yes, just another regular day. You, Floyd, your phone in his hand, breathless, a cheeky and amused grin on his face, and just constantly trying to snag your phone back in the spacious long hallway. Call this a regular day occurrence considering how many times he's come to bother and mess with you now.

"Floyd, give me back my pho- STOP SCROLLING THROUGH MY CAMERA ROLL!" Running up and trying to snatch it away by jumping, only to fail because he's now outstretching his arms away and tip-toeing to refrain from you reclaiming back your item.

"Haaah? Your camera roll is so boring, just full of pictures of the sky. We see that everyday, you should take more pictures of other interesting things!" You really were running out of breath here and he seems to take great amusement with it since he's still here messing with you.

The sun shined brightly against the two of you, the open wall of the hall letting the air roam freely.

"Ahaha! What a funny picture of Crabby-chan! Oh, and you got one of little Mackerel too." Floyds not listening to your words, enjoying himself as he indulges in your camera roll. You let out a tired and heavy sigh, heaving a bit as you try to catch your breath. "F-Floyd, why are you doing this? Argh, I swear you've been bothering me so much lately." He only give you a little "hm?" in response as his smile now fades, turning to something more neutral and casual as he continues to indulge himself in your selective memories.

"Ya have soooo many pictures of other people lil' shrimpy. Ah! You even have a picture of Jade and Azul! No fairrrr!" Letting out a whine, you can see his prominent pout as he pinches his fingers on your screen to zoom in on you which was in between Azul and Jade. His eyes stick to the screen as he stares at the picture of your sweet smile looking as if you just finished some heavy and tiring labor just before.

"That was when we went camping during Vargas's stupid camping trip. Of course you weren't there!" You huffed out as you wipe a sweat off your neck, placing your free arm on your hip while you just watch him on your phone. At this point you just gave up and let him do what he wanted on there, of course as long as he's in the camera roll and nowhere else.

"But i'm here now aren't I? And you were even there when I went camping, jus excuses." His slightly upset voice makes you feel a bit guilty yourself, but you try to find a way to dispute his words anyways.

"Not true! If you keep scrolling more you'll see yourself in one of the pictures I took with Ace!" A huff escapes your mouth as you try to stay strong on your claim and he only lets out a disappointed groan. "I'm in the background Shrimpy, and you cant even see my face properly. Ya dont wanna have people mixin' me with my brother now dontcha?" His eyes look over towards you now as he drapes his arm down, just very offended with the lack of pictures you have available of him.

"It's not like i'm gonna show anyone Floyd. No one's gonna know its you except for me." You try to reassure him but he still isn't satisfied at all with your response. The sun shines in as its rays changes its direction and hits Floyd in the eyes, causing his already sour mood to worsen and he lets out an annoyed huff. The shadow of the pillars drapes over you like a veil and the sun hits him like a beam, so he then places his hand over his forehead to block the sun out while walking closer to you in venture for refuge. The light reflects into the phone causing a gleam hitting your own eyes and so you step back, squinting your eyes away. For a moment you actually forgot he had your phone if not for the reminder the gleam gave you.

"Floyd, could you please hand me back my phone now?" You say in a more gentle voice in consideration to his sour mood. His droopy eyes meet yours as a slight pout forms on his face which then looks over at your phone in his hand. Suddenly, his pouty face lifts up into a gleeful smile, his toothy lop-sided smirk giving you unease as if he's planning something not so great.

"Ya know, why not jus' take some pics right now? Say cheese~!" Suddenly, with his longer legs he quickly makes his way over next to you, wrapping an arm around your shoulders and pulling close.

"Wha-? Hey-!" Before you could even ready yourself though, he brings the phone above you two, angling the camera as he tilts his head against yours and maneuvers his thumb over the camera shutter button, pulling your bodies together.

Click! Click! Click!

"Hey stop taking so much! You're going to take up my storage!" Quickly swiping up your phone you press on the little square in the corner to open up the pictures. His arm continues to drape on your shoulder as he looks over at the pictures with a happy hum. Floyd looked as photogenic as ever when he wants to be, his silky skin reflecting in the pictures as his smile radiates and shine while his cheeks being a dusty pink. You on the other hand....Not so much. You were even blinking in one of them, most of the pictures of you looking off and funny.

"I wasn't ready Floyd." A stern look is scrunched on your face as you swipe and look at the pictures with a judgmental stare. A giggle can be heard right next to you as Floyd also looks over you in the pictures, a tinted pink running on his cheeks and a soft look in his eyes; his heart speeding up just slightly as he continues the close and intimate proximity.

"I think you look cute anyways." He says it ever so casually and in a gentle voice, causing you to look over at him. Upon turning your head to face him, its only then did you realize just how close he was. How intimate you two were being right now. His side profile looking perfect as ever, his olive colored eye locked on the screen staring only at you, his arm draped over your shoulders, your bodies practically meshing together right now as his pecks touch your back. You feel your cheeks starting to heat up, your heart begins to speed up as if you are starting a morning run the more you begin to get conscious. His eyes suddenly dart to look at you and you flinch back, jumping a little due to being startled; however his arm keeps you in place from moving any further.

"Seriously, you've been messing with me too much..." You grumbled out as you turn your face back to look at the now black screen. It shut off due to the lack of inactivity, and in the reflection you can see your furrowed brows and tightlipped frown. Though from the side Floyd can only give a bigger grin upon seeing your velvet cheeks.

"Cus' I like ya, aint it obvious?" The speed to which you flip your head can be compared to one of a bullet train and your jaw drops, mouth wide open and agape as you're left with no words. "HUH?!" Your whole face is now a full on red, your eyes filled with shock as if he just dropped the most jaw dropping information ever. Well, technically he did.

Tilting his head to the side a little, his face also grows a darker shade of red, though he lets out a giddy chain of giggles to your reaction. "Eh? You're quite bold Shrimpy, movin' kinda fast there huh?"

"W-What?" He can practically see question marks floating around your red beet face, his toothy smug face still apparent as he wraps another arm in front of you. He's basically giving you a side hug right now -a sweet and tender one.

"Hehe, nothin,'" smiling as if its something only he knows makes you a bit bothered and curious, but then he suddenly swings himself in front of you now. The sun hits the back of Floyd, making him radiate ever so brightly. "How bout' we start off a bit slower hmm? Whats it to ya Shrimpy, do ya like me back?" His soft and droopy slanted eyes adoringly stare into yours and you cant help but feel your heart turn into a big wet sopping pillow. Adverting your eyes down, you can only give a little nod. "Well i mean, I don't hate you. So yea, I.... I do in fact, Like you too."

Honestly, Floyds been nothing but smiles now and its as if he found the most pretty set of flowers ever on a grassy field. "Is that so? Ya really like me huh?"

My hearts beating so fast right now.

"Yea, I really like you."

"Shall I give you a kiss then Shrimpy?"

Tilting your head back up at him you can only give him a shy and flustered face. But with the silly state you're in right now, you let out a slip of a tongue response.

"C-Can I kiss you?" Totally unexpected to Floyd, his eyes widen for only a moment till he's flinging his head back with laughter and squeezing you into his chest.

"Hahaha! Will you kiss me?" Calming himself down a bit he looks back at you with you in his arms now, the suns rays slowly shifting over.

"Will I kiss you?" saying almost in a smug manner now, feeling yourself succumbing into his giggly state of self as you yourself now start to get giddy with your red cheeks.

"You will" He says it with a reciprocal teasing tone as he leans forward, the comfort in his lean arms making you feel as if you've been lovers forever.

"I will?"

"I will" And with that he softly goes in to press a kiss on your lips, the sun shining and hitting the both of you and its as if you two were getting the spotlight of a movie.

Click!

Huh? As you turn to slowly pull back from the kiss, slowly opening your closed eyes you see Floyds phone out. His arm is outstretched and propped in the middle of you two from the side to capture the kiss perfectly and you can only let out a gasp.

"A picture for me hehe~"

"FLOYD-"

[studyblr-perhaps]

03/02/24 || Saturday

I think I messed up my previous post (checked and yes I called yesterday Saturday sksksk). Finished two out of three lectures I need to do for a quiz on Monday, and I still have a lot of work. But I am going to go sleep for now and figure out the rest tomorrow (it's 1am 💀).

Day 5/30 of 30-Day New Year Momentum Challenge

What methods do you find best for managing tasks?

Mostly sticky notes. I am not the best at time management and discipline, but I usually keep the deadlines on my notion calendar, and I have a tiny notebook where I scribble all the things I need to do (including academics and grocery lists lol), and finally I use sticky notes for day to day tasks and stick them on the side of my laptop so that I can remember.

Also I like drawing little doodles on my sticky notes haha

[karniss-bg3]

Writing Prompt: hi! I was wondering if you could write something with shorter-race!Tav and Kar'niss? perhaps something like braiding hair or fetch things for him, as it might be a little difficult for him to reach the ground without hurting his spine (I imagine he gets nervous when he loses sight of Tav, only to find them sitting (or standing) right underneath him lol)

Kar’niss stood at the edge of the ravine, his many eyes scanning the distance to keep an eye out for anything out of the ordinary. The evening had set in which was the perfect time for him and Tav to venture out, his companion requiring specific herbs for their dinner this night which only grew on the highest ridges. Adept a climber as he was, and his charge small enough to carry, it was an easy feat to get them to where they needed to be. The gentle breeze rising from the chasm below tussled Kar’niss’ white locks over his face, the scent of dirt and grass infiltrating his nostrils. He admired the mountain range in the distance, able to enjoy the splendor of the natural surroundings he was once denied occupancy from. As time passed he began to wonder how close Tav was to finishing their foraging, taking a glance over his shoulder.

“Have you found what you needed?” Kar’niss asked.

He became perplexed when he looked around and couldn’t spy Tav anywhere in the grassy section behind him. He’d turn around in place able to do so with many legs in motion. He didn’t see any signs of Tav which caused a slight panic to bubble in his gut. Did they accidentally stumble and fall over the cliff face without his knowing? Surely he would’ve heard something. Right as he was about to start the frantic search effort, he felt a slight tickling sensation against his underbelly. The thick chitin did well to dull any sensitivity to touch on his armor but he could still detect movement against the area, allowing him some awareness. Kar’niss took a step back and leaned his torso forward, peering underneath himself. There stood Tav, a small little thing, proudly positioned under Kar’niss out of sight. They smiled and issued a cheeky finger wave.

“Had you worried, huh?”

Kar’niss exhaled and scoffed. “No. But it is a dangerous game you’re playing. I could’ve stepped on you.”

Tav chuckled. “I’ve learned how to dodge effectively, but your concern is nice all the same.” They lifted up their satchel which was packed to the brim with herbs and other plant life. “I think I have everything, I’m ready to return home.”

The drider nodded and stepped back just enough to uncover Tav from their hiding spot. He lowered his body to the ground so his companion could climb on without much struggle. They did just that, hoisting themselves in front of his rounded abdomen, their little legs kicking to afford them some momentum. They straddled his back, their hands grabbing his waist to hold fast for the ride ahead. Once Kar’niss was sure they were secured he’d turn his body and began to climb down the rock wall ahead.

It was a strange sensation for Tav, their stomach rising into their throat from the sudden change in altitude, not to mention the distribution of gravity. It was like what one may feel when going down a tall hill on a roller coaster, the g-forces closing in around the smaller figure making their head spin briefly. But it wasn’t wholly unpleasant, just strange, and they were growing more accustomed to it the more Kar’niss carried them around. They reached the bottom of the chasm which led to a pathway toward the small village they now occupied. A quiet, rural town where at first Kar’niss was a curiosity, even a threat to some. In time he managed to earn their trust and establish himself as a bizarre but harmless part of the community.

Tav pulled something out of their bag while Kar’niss was distracted, pushing themselves up enough to rest something on his head. Kar’niss paused his advance, reaching up to touch over the foreign addition.

“What is this?”

“It’s a flower crown. I found a nice collection of wild flowers that I thought suited you,” Tav explained.

The collection of flowers formed into a small wreath were lovely in color and shape. Four snow white petals with red streaks down the center of each, giving off a sweet aroma that wasn’t too pungent. Kar’niss reached up to feel over each flower, his brows knitted and confused.

“And you think this...suits me?” “Yes, very much. But you don’t have to wear it if you don’t want to.”

He mulled it over, unsure how he felt about the odd adornment. He’d soon shrug and left it where it was. “It is fine.”

They’d wander back into the small village, several homes dotted over the area surrounded by tall hills and mountains either side. Most people weren’t out and about after sunset which allowed Kar’niss freedom of movement without worry of getting in someone’s way. He’d take Tav to their home at the edge of town close to the treeline of the forest, an area that was designated for Kar’niss to build webs and hunt without interference. The home itself was oddly shaped, an unusually tall roof capped the wide home, the front door in a circular shape rather than a standard rectangle. It had been build with Kar’niss’ girth in mind so he could navigate without bonking his head or getting stuck. But when they went inside the interior reflected something different. Many of the counters and shelves were placed lower to the ground so Tav wouldn’t struggle to reach. The furniture also varied in size from a large padded circular couch meant for Kar’niss to curl up on alongside a smaller couch perfect for Tav’s height. It was a funny little abode, outfitted to cater to both of their needs in unison.

Once inside Kar’niss lowered enough to let Tav climb off safely, both happy to be back. Tav placed their pack down and wandered over to get the fireplace going while Kar’niss climbed up the wall of the home. The high ceiling made more sense when one noted the intricate webbing spanning either side, a place where Kar’niss could lounge and feel safe, preferring heights over being on flat ground. There was a ladder on the wall where Tav could climb and join him if they so wished, a pair of web walking boots situated nearby allowing them to traverse the sticky weave without the risk of getting stuck. Kar’niss went about repairing a hole or two in the webbing, the drider assuming a rogue draft the culprit for the tear. He’d pause and produce a little extra silk, removing the flower crown shortly there after. He’d use the silk to hang the wreath on the wall letting it dangle in place as a sort of decoration for himself. Satisfied he’d climb back down to join Tav, knowing they’d need some help to prepare their dinner.

Kar’niss watched Tav prepare the wood burning stove getting it ready to fry up some vegetables and meat. Like clock work the drider seemed to know ahead of time what Tav needed before they even asked. He’d stand nearby and retrieve seasonings from the higher shelves, passing it to Tav until the next ingredient was needed. He had watched them for a long time and studied each recipe with frightening accuracy, putting the most common ones to memory to be useful during the process. While he didn’t eat what was on offer himself he did appreciate what scents he could detect and he knew it made Tav happy.

“Thank you for taking me up to the ridge, Kar’niss. I’m sure it’s nice to wander once in a while, even if you prefer the safety of the house,” Tav said.

Kar’niss leaned down to peer over Tav’s shoulder while they cooked, his eyes observing their face in quiet contemplation. “I do not mind wandering, I just do not prefer to do so alone. Most leave me be but there are others who stare and I dislike it. Curious as they may be it’s still unnerving.”

“I can understand that. Don’t worry, if anyone gives you flack they’ll answer to me.”

Tav finished up the meal and scooped it onto a plate, a nice stir fry to end off the day. Kar’niss followed them while they sat at the small table, perfectly sized for their height. He lowered himself next to Tav, everything so minuscule compared to himself but neither party seemed to mind. Once Tav started to eat a thought dawned on them prompting them to tap their fork against the vegetables.

“Kar’niss, are you happy here?”

The question made Kar’niss cock his head to one side, perplexed. “Yes, why do you ask?”

“Well I know you are far from your place of birth, the Underdark. We had a lot of struggles on the road and it took a lot of time for you to accept that the Absolute weren’t on your side. It was a harrowing journey we took together and now that it has concluded what remains is the domestic life. I love our home, I love that we’ve found solutions to having such a large cap between our heights, and I think we’ve become content. I suppose what I’m asking...is this what you wanted?”

The drider pressed his lips into a thin line, his pedipalps coming to flex against his belly. “There are times I mourn for the Underdark. Even if much of my time there wasn’t what I’d consider happy I still hold a fondness for it. I try not to think about it because I can never return. It is a pointless kind of sadness, an outcome you can’t change.” He took a deep breath, taking time to mull over his thoughts. “Before you I was never allowed to want anything for myself. My dreams, my desires, my needs were wrapped up in someone else. Lolth and the Absolute had power over me and I didn’t dare consider anything bigger.”

Tav continued to eat while Kar’niss spoke, dabbling their lips with a napkin. “Do you now?”

He nodded. “I do. At first it was a strange feeling, even a little terrifying. The first time I had a free thought that wasn’t about one deity or the other I felt startled and somehow guilty. You helped me move through the notion of my own ideas, convinced me it wasn’t the wrong thing to do. All of a sudden I had things I wanted and I acted on them and felt happiness in doing so. To answer your question, this is what I want. I am able to live and know some sense of freedom. As for your smaller stature, it makes me nervous but not for the reasons you think. I always worry I’ll step or sit on you by mistake, it’s why everything I do is considered carefully.”

They smiled at him, their hand reaching out to rest on the side of his body. “That comforts me to hear. I never want you to feel like you’re beholden to me or anyone else. If you’re here then I want it to be because you’ve chosen this life.”

Kar’niss leaned down to nestle a kiss to Tav’s forehead, the former adventurer leaning up to meet him halfway so he’d not strain. “I do not see how I’d be better off anywhere else.”

Tav finished their meal, Kar’niss opting to take the plate and place it in the wash basin for later. As the evening drew on both began to tire. While Tav had a bedroom upstairs it wasn’t used that often and tonight was no different. Kar’niss wrapped his arms around Tav’s torso to lift them up, ascending the side of the wall toward the intricate netting on the ceiling. Tav laid out a few blankets over the silk to prevent them from getting stuck but Kar’niss would ensure such wouldn’t happen. He’d settle on his belly letting his long legs dangle over the side, sitting Tav on his pedipalps to act as a make shift seat. They were small enough where he could handle their weight easily enough.

Both were exhausted after a long day, Kar’niss hoarding the little spoon that was Tav to his chest, allowing them to relax and eventually come to rest. He’d watch them, still mulling over their prior conversation. He felt a soft smile forming on his lips, his own muscles coming to relax while he focused on the sound of Tav’s breathing, his sensitive ears even able to catch the sound of their heartbeat.

Without a doubt this was where he wanted to be, no convincing required.

[steamberrystudio]

13/08/2023 Devlog

Hallo! It is time for the bi-weekly Tumblr update once again

Summary:

Sprite art finished and imported (all sprites are now in the game)

All CG art completed

50% of CGs coded

The Ramble:

So here is the quick ramble for Gilded Shadows.

I finished all the remaining sprite art and got that imported into the game. 

And I finished all the CG art. I have not finished coding the CGs as some of them take a bit longer due to Morgan. So I have a few more of those left to do.

I really did not expect to be finished with the CGs by this point but somehow managed to finish them by the end of Friday without killing my hand.

I've definitely been...uh...feeling it the past couple of days though. Ha ha. 

Fortunately the art is done now so my hand will have plenty of time to rest through beta testing! 

Upcoming Weeks:

Beta testing! 

I have a few more things to wrap up, including coding the rest of the CGs and then Yuu's route will move into the beta testing stage which will last a few weeks; but I'm not sure how long.

So yeah. We're nearly to the final release for Gilded Shadows. 

Even after release, I still have some KS related loose ends to tie up but the game is kind of the main thing to complete and we are nearly there.

=o

Anyway, that's all for now on Gilded Shadows. By next update we should be mid-beta testing and I'll probably be working on some of the KS loose ends while waiting for feedback.

When Stars Collide:

For those following updates on this project:

I have received one new background since last time and a new sketch.

I have also done a fair bit of writing but since this is just my side project I've actually been tracking my word count progress a little less meticulously than usual. I don't know how many words it was at my last update so I don't know how much progress I've made since then. LoL!

I have one more short scene for Yren chapter 5 left but I also worked on the new chapter 3, which I had planned out but not started last time. So it looks like I wrote right at 10,000 words based on how long the scenes I know I wrote are. 💪

I also wrote Kav's first actual scene and appearance (well, it's part of the new chapter 3, not a separate scene.)

I've done a few other small things - worked on potentially re-designing the flowchart screens, changed up some character lore for a few characters. Changed a few character name spellings too (there are reasons for this; it wasn't just a whim. LoL)

And a few other minor things.

I also improved my WSC word count spreadsheet.

Keeping a detailed spreadsheet of my progress - including a specific goal system and progress tracker really helps keep me focused so that my forward momentum stays at a steady pace.

I'm not a naturally organised person - in fact, my natural state as a writer is quite chaotic and disorganised. But I have learned during Changeling that chaos does not serve me well in the development process and that I do better if I make myself use organisational tools to stay on track.

I haven't been meticulous with writing spreadsheets for WSC since it has been my side project until now. But as GS wraps up, it will become more of my focus so I want to be sure I have the tools in place to stay focused.

Hence...better spreadsheets. 💪💪

Side note. But did you lens flares are actually required when something is set in space? That is how you know it's sci-fi.

I don't make the rules.

[dean-winchester-is-a-warrior]

Only the Strong Survive Ch. 7

Series Summary: Lexie Weston is in a terrible, abusive marriage. In her mind and soul, she feels like she has no way out that won't result in her death. But something changes in her life to make her take the risk. Can she rely on Sheriff Beau Arlen to protect her like he said he would, or will this risk lead to ruin?

Pairings: Beau Arlen x OFC (eventual)

Series Warnings/Explicit 18+: Smut, Angst, Fluff throughout. A pretty slow burn, TW: Abusive marriage, Domestic abuse will be talked about throughout. Chapter warnings will be more specific

Word Count: 3,329

Chapter Summary: Y/N wants to explore the connection she feels to Beau, but will that sever it?

Chapter Warnings: None. Kissing.

A/N: K, so the next chapter definitely came out faster than the last. Lol! The momentum feels good on the series, I think I might ACTUALLY finish it sooner than the end of February if I don't stall out. Wish me luck! And as always if you enjoy the series/chapter, please comment and/or reblog. It makes a HUGE difference in keeping that momentum going.

Hope you enjoy Ch. 7!

The beautiful divider at the bottom was created by @saradika

The night was cold now, and Lexi pulled her heavy coat tighter around her. She could hear people laughing and talking, saying their farewells as they packed up and put out the bonfire. She knew she needed to go too, the school bus would be headed back to Haven House very soon. But she just wanted to breathe it all in a bit longer.

“So.” Beau said as he walked up beside her. “What do you think? Did we manage to throw you a decent graduation party?”

She looked at him and was struck anew at how incredibly beautiful he was. She smiled shyly and sighed deeply, looking back out at the mountains surrounding them, purple in the darkness. She gazed up at the full moon and shook her head.

“I think…I think this might be the, the best time I’ve ever had.”

She looked up at Beau and saw his slight befuddlement. She shrugged and looked away. “I was just thinking about…” She trailed off, and wondered whether Beau actually wanted to hear any of this. But when she snuck another glance at him, his eyes were curious and encouraging. That look, of interest and consideration, was one of the things that made his eyes so incredibly beautiful. 

So she carried on.

“The reason I dropped out of high school was, well…my dad - he drank a lot. He was…I think he was a good man, had a good heart, but he was just…I don’t know, lost I guess. My mom, she died when I was really little. I don’t remember her at all, but…” She smiled sadly. “He did, and I think it just kind of ate at him you know. I mean, I know he…he loved me and I loved him too. But, he couldn’t take care of me, couldn’t take care of himself. So, someone had to…” She gave a brief resigned laugh.  “Someone had to buy the milk, pay the electric bill, you know. So, I dropped out, started working.”

The wind kicked up a bit and blew a curl over her forehead and she tucked it back behind her ear before continuing. “But, I mean, I really liked school. So leaving…” She stopped to glance at Beau again and his smile was soft and understanding. “Well, it sucked.”

Beau nodded. “I bet.” He said quietly.

Lexi shrugged. “And I…I know my GED, it’s not the same as graduating, but…” She started to duck her head, but instead she caught herself and raised her chin. “I guess, I feel…I don’t know, I guess - I’m proud of myself.”

She wanted to immediately take back the words, but she told herself that she wouldn’t. She meant what she said.

Beau’s smile was blinding. “Oh, sweetheart, you should be proud of yourself. What you’ve accomplished…” He shook his head. “Not only with getting your diploma, but just everything. You deserve to feel incredibly proud.”

His praise was a lot for Lexi to take. She loved it, and felt it spread warm and happy through her heart, but she had to look away from him, looking back up at the moon instead.

“Anyway,” she shrugged again. “I was just standing here thinking, ‘When was the last time I felt like this?’ and I realized…I don’t ever remember feeling like this. Which is probably pathetic. But…I think…my whole life I’ve been just…surviving, you know. And now…I feel like I’m living, I feel like tonight was the start of that.”

She crossed her arms, suddenly feeling a bit embarrassed with her wordy confession. “Does that make sense?”

Beau nodded. “It makes perfect sense, yes. And I’m so glad for you.”

From over by the bus, Sarah called for Lexi. Lexi waved back and gave a thumbs up to show she heard. 

“Well, anyway I guess I should…” She thumbed towards the group waiting on her. 

“Right.” Beau took a step back, but Lexi stopped him.

“Wait, I was wondering…would you do me a big favor?”

“Sure.” Beau answered immediately.

“It’s not really, like, a professional thing, or…well, it’s a personal favor.” Lexi cautioned him. “So, please feel free to say no. I’ll completely understand.”

Beau gave a chuckle and shook his head. “What do you need?”

Lexi bit her lip and watched Beau’s eyes dart to her mouth. Something in his gaze made her core muscle clench and she had to look at the ground and take in a deep breath before she could continue.

“I have a um, appointment tomorrow…it’s my sonogram appointment.” She glanced at him with an excited expression. “I finally get to see the baby. But…I don’t wanna - I don’t wanna go alone.”

She dipped her head in the direction of the bus. “And Cicely has an appointment with her case worker, so…would you consider going with me?”

Beau hesitated a moment, and Lexi panicked and reassured him. “Seriously, it’s a lot to ask, so if you can’t do it -”

But Beau interrupted her. “Of course, happy to. What time?”

Lexi let out a breath. “It’s at one.”

“Okay, I’ll pick you up.”

Sarah honked the bus horn and Lexi waved and turned towards the bus before turning back quickly and impulsively throwing her arms around Beau’s neck to give him a hug. He hugged her back, and it occurred to her how perfect it felt to be held by him. She didn’t want to let go.

But she knew everyone was waiting, so she smiled at him shyly one more time before walking quickly towards the bus, wondering how long the warm and inviting scent of his cologne would linger on her coat.

***

“Alexandria Weston?”

Lexi looked up at the young woman in mint green scrubs and nodded. She hoped the name change papers went through soon. 

Beau stood up with her and placed his hand on her lower back, guiding her towards the swinging door where the nurse waited patiently. The feeling of his touch, warm and reassuring, made some of the nervousness in her belly fade away, while causing a new kind of fluttering throughout her body.

Oh boy.

They entered a small room, slightly crowded with a table and equipment. The nurse took some basic information from Lexi before helping her up onto the table.

“The technician will be in shortly.” She smiled and left them alone in the cramped room. 

Beau looked around and smiled. “This brings back memories.” He caught Lexi’s eye and winked. “Really good ones. I’ll never forget the way it felt to see Em for the first time.” He reached over and squeezed her hand. “I’m happy to be here with you for this.”

Lexi felt her eyes get inexplicably moist and she beamed at him. “I’m so grateful.”

Before Beau could respond, the technician entered with a bright smile. “Good afternoon. My name is Helena. How’s everyone feeling today?” She said as she shut the door behind her. 

“Good.” Lexi and Beau said in unison.

Helena pulled the machine forward and pulled her stool up close to the table. Beau shifted around to Lexi’s other side, so he wasn’t in the way. But he picked up her hand again and Lexi squeezed it tightly, nervous despite her excitement.

“Alright folks!” The bubbly tech said, “Ready to meet your baby?”

“Oh, uh…” Lexi started to correct her, worried it would embarrass Beau to be mistaken for the father, but he squeezed her hand again, and gave a little shake of his head and a wink, letting her know it didn’t matter to him.

“Yeah,” he answered Helena, “we’re ready.”

Lexi felt her heart squeeze, imagining for just a minute how much simpler and happier her life would be if it was the truth. But before she could get too lost in wishful thinking, Helena pushed up her t-shirt to squirt out some cold jelly onto her stomach.

“Ooh!” Lexi exclaimed. “That’s cold.”

Helena smiled. “Yeah, I know. Sorry.” She pushed the wand around through the jelly, watching the screen.

Lexi shook her head and was going to tell her it was fine, but suddenly there was a sound like a freight train and Lexi gasped. 

“Is that…”

“Your baby’s heartbeat.” Helena smiled as she moved the wand a little lower and the sound intensified.

“Oh my god.” Lexi’s voice was barely a breath. She stared raptly at the screen trying to make out the image. Clearly having done this many times, Helena began to explain.

“Here is your baby’s head.” She smoothed her finger over a tiny round silhouette on the screen, before continuing on. “And here is their spine, and down over the bum. And here you can see their limbs and we can even make out their fingers and toes.” She smiled at Lexi. “They’re waving at us.”

Tears were falling unchecked down Lexi’s face. A feeling like nothing she’d ever known swept over her and she felt pure joy and astounding fear in exactly equal measure. 

“Oh,” Helena said with a smile. “Of course, we caution that we can never be one hundred percent certain, but do you want to know the sex?”

Lexi’s stomach dipped. “Yes.” She said immediately, anticipation rampant in her mind.

“Well, folks, it looks like you are going to have a bouncing baby boy.”

Lexi couldn’t process her own feelings and her mind raced from one thought to the next, there was a bit of panic setting in as everything felt suddenly very real in a way it simply hadn’t until that moment. All of a sudden the abstract future looked very distinct. Her son had a face in her mind, he was a mischievous toddler running away from her at the park, he was a chubby baby with a toothy smile and tiny fingers, he was a teenage boy slouching in his chair, he was a little boy with a splinter who was crying for her, he was a man hugging her goodbye as he left for college.

In the span of thirty seconds her son’s entire life spun through her mind and the panic grew. How could she possibly do this? She wasn’t capable of this, she was going to screw him up somehow, she was going to -

Suddenly both of Beau’s big hands closed over the one he held and he held it tighter. He spoke to Helena.

“How's the little guy doin’? Everything look good?”

Helena nodded. “Yes, he looks fabulous. Everything is developing normally, he's a good, healthy size, he's great.”

Beau raised Lexi's knuckles to his lips and pressed a kiss there. “That's because of you.” He said softly. “Because you've kept him safe and taken such good care of him. You should be proud of that too.”

Lexi looked up into Beau's face and a wave of tenderness and gratitude washed over her as his green eyes sparkled down at her. How had he known just what to say? How did he know what she was thinking, how she’d been panicking at the magnitude of feeling sweeping through her? He was…incredible.

“Thank you.” She said simply, but what she meant was, “Thank you for saving me yet again.”

***

“I don’t wanna go back to the station yet.” Beau said as he was pulling out of the clinic parking lot. “What do you say we stop for ice cream? There’s an amazing place, Suzie’s Sundaes, they’ve got a million flavors.”

Lexi smiled mischievously. “You should know better than to tempt a pregnant woman with ice cream.”

Beau chuckled. “Suzie’s it is.”

After getting their ice cream, a scoop of Coffee Praline for Beau and one of Cookie Dough for Lexi, Beau nodded his head towards the park across the street.

“Wanna walk?”

Lexi nodded. “I’d love to.” 

As they crossed the street, Beau put his free hand on her lower back again, safeguarding her as they crossed, and there was something in the gesture that made Lexi want to bat her eyes and giggle like a schoolgirl. There was just something about Beau that tended to make her head spin. 

It had been like this, almost from the beginning she admitted now, but until Cicely had brought it up, she’d been doing a great job at pretending the feelings didn't exist. But now those thoughts and emotions just wouldn’t go away. She’d never felt this way about anyone. Not ever. 

Given her history, she was surprised by how little the feelings scared her. She was nervous, only because she wasn’t sure that Cicely was right about Beau’s feelings towards her, and she was aware of the awful timing of it all. But fear didn’t enter in.

She had no fear where Beau was concerned. Her therapist at Haven House had spoken with her about what to lookout for in future relationships - red flags, she’d called them. But with Beau, there were no red flags; it was all green.

They wandered through the park for a while, both enjoying their ice cream and the scent of spring in the air. Eventually, Beau took her hand and pulled her off the beaten path. 

“There’s a nice little bridge with some benches and trees over this way.”

Warmth spread up her arm from where he clasped her fingers, and when she sat down beside him on the bench, she was sorry that he let go.

“So, how are you doing?” He asked and Lexi shrugged.

“I’m good. I mean…I must admit that I’m a little nervous. I don’t…I don’t know how I’m gonna raise a son. How can I…teach him to shave? Or to pee standing up? And what happens when he hits puberty?” 

Beau chuckled. “Well, puberty’s more than a decade off, so you’ve got some time to study. And the peeing thing just sort of comes naturally.” 

He grinned at her and Lexi laughed. “Well, good.” She was quiet for a minute, scooping up a spoonful of ice cream. She swallowed and cleared her throat before voicing her biggest and only real fear.

“How do I raise him to…not be him? What if I can’t do it?” Her voice was soft. Was she allowed to admit that fear - that she was terrified of raising another Simon? She glanced at Beau, wondering if she’d see judgment there. But she should have known better. 

He just nodded, his gaze sympathetic and understanding. “Babies aren’t born…evil, Lex. They’re just born needing us. You just have to love him, unconditionally, and unendingly.”

Lexi nodded. “I’m just so afraid of doing it wrong.”

Beau smiled at her and moved a bit closer on the bench. “Wanna hear my great secrets of parenthood?”

Lexi sighed. “God, yes.”

With a chuckle, he continued. “Well, I think kids need two things to thrive and be happy.  Boundaries and respect.” He shrugged a broad shoulder. “Kids crave boundaries. They need to know what’s allowed and what’s not. It makes them feel safe. And they also deserve our respect. We should respect their boundaries too, and respect their intelligence by not talking down to them, or ignoring their thoughts and opinions. Even when they're really little, they wanna be heard and they want to know they matter.”

He shrugged again. “Can’t go wrong if you stick with those two pillars.” He smiled softly. “And fill it all in with lots and lots of love.”

Lexi had tears in her eyes and she blinked them away, staring at him, a little bit in awe. She shook her head. “Is that how your parents raised you? Is that how you turned out like this?”

Beau laughed warmly. “Well, they don’t deserve all the blame for how I turned out, but yeah, basically. A big part of who I am now is the foundation I was given. But, you know, they were also parents in the 80s and 90s, so…they weren’t perfect. Gentle parenting was definitely not a thing.”

Lexi laughed with him and then put her hand on his where it rested in his lap. “Well, whatever they did, it worked wonders.” She bit her bottom lip. “I’ve never known a better man than you.”

Beau breathed in deeply through his nose, his chest expanding as Lexi moved closer. His hand twitched beneath hers and she entwined her fingers with his. She looked down at their joined hands and then up at Beau. His eyes caught on her lips again for a moment, and then he turned his head away.

“Lexi,” he started and then seemed to stall.

He caught her gaze again as she shifted even closer, and his eyes were warm with want. 

She lifted her hand to trail her fingers down his jaw, the silky feel of his beard making her sigh. 

“Kiss me?” She asked softly as she looked at his mouth and craved the feel of it on her own.

“Lexi.” He said again, but this time it was full of caution.

She shook her head, her expression questioning. “Do you not want to?”

A rough laugh burst out of him and he put his hand on top of hers where it rested on his cheek. “That’s really not the problem.”

Lexi shrugged. “Then there really is no problem.”

She smiled at him and saw the moment he caved. His face lost its worry and left behind only passion as his mouth descended on hers. Beau’s lips were silky and plump as he brushed them gently against hers. The first touch made her gasp; the second made her moan softly and dart her tongue out to taste his full bottom lip. 

The action made Beau grunt, taking his hand off of hers and pushing it into her hair. He opened his mouth and caught her next moan on his tongue as he slipped it inside. He tangled it up with hers, tasting and teasing her as he sipped at her lips. He moved both hands to her cheeks and tilted her head so he could delve deeper.

She’d never been kissed like this, never felt like this. She was completely consumed in mere moments, completely lost in the way his mouth moved on hers, the way his rough palms felt against her skin. She wanted so much more; the kiss wasn’t slaking her thirst for him, it was increasing it, making her desperate for more.

Finally though, Beau wrenched his mouth from hers with a sucking noise that sounded obscene and made Lexi shiver. His warm breath fanned her cheek as touched his forehead to hers. 

“Oh sweetheart.” He said on an exhale. “We can’t do this.” He corrected himself. “I mean, I can’t do this. It’s wrong.”

Lexi was still breathless. “Is it?” She asked. “Why?”

Beau pulled further back, dropping his hands from her, and shook his head. “You know why. I’d be taking advantage of you.”

“Would you? I thought I was the one who asked for the kiss.”

Beau gave her a look. “Lexi.” He said again, the caution back in his tone, “You’re vulnerable right now, and it’s an asshole move to take advantage of that.”

“Really? Cause I think I’m stronger than I’ve ever been in my life right now.”

“That’s not what I mean…it’s just…” He shook his head again and stood up, putting even more distance between them. “I never should have let this happen. I’m sorry.”

Lexi began to feel embarrassment slipping in and she stood up too, waving her hand dismissively. 

“Hey look, it’s no big deal. We don’t have to make it into more than it was okay?” She patted his forearm. “Let’s just say it was a nice afternoon and leave it at that.” She gave him another smile and she hoped it looked more believable than it felt. 

“Lex I- “ Beau began, but she shook her head and started walking away.

“No, we’re good.”

Despite the distance she’d put between them, she still heard him curse quietly as he followed. She hoped the curse wasn’t directed towards her, and hoped the kiss hadn’t just ruined something beautiful between them.

1 - Jensen RPF + Any/All characters Jensen plays. @lyarr24 @deans-spinster-witch @impalaslytherin @maggiegirl17 @akshi8278 @candy-coated-misery0731 @deanswaywardgirl @slytherinlyn314 @globetrotter28 @jensensgirl @perpetualabsurdity @tristanrosspada-ackles @djs8891 @muhahaha303 @kayyay1219 @emily-winchester @recoveringpastaaddict @maximumkillshot @mimaria420 @sacriceria @envyaurora95 @lacilou @jc-winchester @spnwoman @mimi-luvzyu @jackles010378 @mayafatimakhan

3 - Any/All Fics (regardless of fandom/character.) @kazsrm67 @sexyvixen7 @alexxavicry @nancymcl @spalady26 @slut-for-evans-stan

4 - Everything (includes fan vid/DOOL edits as well) @unabashed-lover-of-fictional-men @maliburenee @supernatural4life2022 @spn730015 @kickingitwithkirk @waywardbaby @foxyjwls007 @deanwanddamons @deandreamernp @deanwithscissors @myloversgone @snowlovespie @leigh70 @all-alone-he-turns-to-stone @charred-angelwings @hopefuldreamers-world @jensensgotyoudean @thoughts-and-funnies @magssteenkamp @princessmisery666 @eevvvaa @mishkatelwarriorgoddess @waynes-multiverse @mrsjenniferwinchester @bernasaurus @jensenslady79 @courtn92 @avanatural @ellie-andthemachine @this-is-me19 @roseblue373 @katbratsupernaturalwhore @fanfic-n-tabulous @k-slla @stoneyggirl2

[the-blind-assassin-12]

20 Questions for Writers

I was tagged by the lovely @maggiemayhemnj - thank you!!

1. how many works do you have on AO3?

Ten. I was cross-posting everything for a minute there, but I lost steam and now I only post here - except for Aphelion, which I am co-writing with @something-tofightfor. That still gets posted in both places.

2. what's your total AO3 word count?

68,449 - not counting Aphelion. My tumblr word count is... a lot higher.

3. what fandoms do you write for?

Right now just Pedro Pascal characters.

4. top five fics by kudos?

Gonna go by notes on tumblr instead because that's where most of my stuff is:

Bes'laar Din Djarin x F!Reader (based on artwork by @stealyourblorbos!)

Survivor Blues Joel Miller x F!Reader

Forever Din Djarin x F!Reader

The Cold Offends Me Oberyn Martell x F!Reader (The Viper & The Wild Thing universe)

Point of No Return Ezra x OFC Clara

5. do you respond to comments?

I try to respond to all comments because I appreciate them SO MUCH MORE than I can accurately convey. I love hearing from people about what they liked or what shocked them or what made them feel things, and I really love the chance to sort of have a micro mini chat about it in the comments. That being said, sometimes I completely check out and miss a whole batch or a whole fic worth of comments goes unresponded to for far too long. And I always feel bad when that happens, which sometimes results in me responding to things WAY after the comments were left, to the point where it wouldn't surprise me if the person has already forgotten the fic/what they wrote... but I haven't forgotten how much it meant to me that they read and commented on my work. So even if it's 6 months to an eternity late, I intend to respond to them all.

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

It Pours From Your Eyes Joel x Tess

7. what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I feel like most of them have happy endings, but we'll go with A Little Christmas Magic - Frankie x F!Reader as perhaps the fluffiest happy ending.

8. do you get hate on fics?

I have gotten non-fic specific hate directed at my writing before, but that was a few years ago and it hasn't happened since. Which is cool because the fewer people wasting their time and energy on being unnecessarily mean about things - let alone about stories about silly little fictional guys - the better.

9. do you write smut?

I do, but I do not consider it one of my strong suits, and I typically only include it if it fits with the overall story though a few times I have written smut just to be filthy as a challenge... and as a treat.

10. craziest crossover?

I've been slowly spinning a True Detective x Tim Rockford crossover like a rotisserie chicken for months but I've only managed to jot down a few unconnected snippets thus far. And a title. It's gonna be called (maybe, if I ever actually write it) Flat Circle, Twisted Game.

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

No, but if I did I would be absolutely PISSED. And I can't say I'd be nice about it.

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope, but that would be cool AF.

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes! I am currently co-writing Aphelion with @something-tofightfor and it is so much FUN.

14. all time favorite ship?

In all honesty it's probably Leslie Knope and Ben Wyatt. I was straight up ready to stop watching Parks and Rec if they didn't end up together.

15. what's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

lol what kind of passive aggressive, self-doubt feeding question is this? I'd like to finish them all and I try like hell to believe that I will.

16. what are your writing strengths?

I think it's probably describing natural settings? But maybe dialogue. Idk.

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

Smut. Also keeping the momentum to finish things in a timely fashion, but mostly smut.

18. thoughts on dialogue in another language?

I try to only use it when it makes sense or when it benefits the story and not just as like... a novelty or an afterthought.

19. first fandom you wrote in?

Teeeeeeeeeeechnically? Like first one I ever made content for? I guess that would be the Twilight series. But I will not be sharing where to find that here. And if you find out where it is, you take that knowledge to the grave with you, you hear me? DO YOU HEAR ME, FRIENDS?

20. favorite fic you've written?

Even though it's nowhere near done, I love and am so very proud of Survivor Blues. But then again, even though it's a few years old now and I feel like my writing has grown since finishing it, Point of No Return will always have a very big piece of my heart.

Tagging: anyone who sees this and wants to play! Please tag me so I can see your answers!!

[coagulatedink]

Thoughts on my 1st* Art Fight!

Thought it might be helpful to write up what my (*mostly) first experience with Art Fight was like! Those who have participated in multiple years of AF may not find this helpful and thats ok! This will be going over my Goals, my Final Stats, why I tried AF and why you might enjoy it, who might not enjoy it, and any other final thoughts. If you're looking for more insight into the art I created (and everything related to that) you'll want to check out a future post that will be linked here! Now! Onto the words!

My Goals for AF 2024

As someone who very often takes projects and runs with them once I get momentum, I knew it was important to try to enforce (keyword try) some sort of limitations with AF. The hope was if I kept to these "rules" or limits, I wouldn't end up biting off more than I could chew and avoid burnout n bad feelings! My goals/limits ended up being;

Choose characters that seem fun

Don't start art without a concept

Some aspect must be experimental

Attempt to finish art in under 3 hours!!

No re-dos! Go with the flow!

Try to submit a total of 30 attacks

Attempt at least 1 revenge

Dang! That sure is a whole lot to keep in mind and work towards!! My logic behind "fun characters" and "no concept no art" was this; if I can't enjoy myself while drawing the character there isn't a good reason to be drawing them. This doesn't mean the character design is poor or boring- it just means that based on my restrictions already listed I needed to make sure I also was having a good time! Having a concept, even if it was just an idea, also guaranteed that I'd draw something vs nothin! Overall these goals/limits felt manageable and I'm glad I went with them. Now! How did it all go?

- - - - - -

My 2024 AF Outcome!

Here are my final stats as of August 3rd 2024 when AF closed its submissions (I'll update this post with any changes in the future);

Points: 1008.5 -- Attacks: 14 -- Friendly Fire: 2 -- Defenses: 7

As you can see; I didn't reach my goal of 30 attacks. 😔 I know, I too..think that was too high of a number LOL! When I wrote it down I think I thought I'd be doing simpler, smaller, less time consuming submissions! I also thought I'd be doing a lot of single character illustrations with minimal bgs, so composition and consideration of flow for a larger cast didn't enter my mind (at the time). Aaannndd then I came up with multiple concepts for art that had many many characters and that plan went out the window haha!! Even though I didn't submit 30 attacks, I did end up;

Fully rendering art of 27(28?) characters that weren't my own!

Drawing my new sona Guy twice!

Designed a whole new sona during AF!!!

Came up with roughly 20 concepts all together (5 did not get finished in time)!

Getting some AMAZING defenses/revenges from some lovely artists!!

Had all 5 of my characters drawn!!!

Spoke to/found a love of amazing artists I wouldn't have met/seen otherwise!!

Stayed true to the majority of my goals/limits!

Again, I'll go into the art side of everything in another post (with pictures) but I will say I love everything I made for AF. Its a very nice feeling to set goal and surpass them- esp after a very long period of art block/fatigue! I went in expecting 0 revenges or attacks/defenses and was delighted at what I ended up reviving. To those of you who drew me something- thank you! If I get your permission I would love to show off your art here as additional thanks!! So, after all that- was it worth it? - - - - - -

Was Art Fight "Worth it" to me?

Yes. LOL! Art Fight was def "worth it" to me. Sorry to jump to the end of it haha- let me go into it a little more like I said I would!

I joined Art Fight the second week of July- partly bc I wasn't sure if I really wanted to take part. As I mentioned, I had attempted to take part in Art Fight in the past! The first time I completed 2 attacks, but never ended up posting ether (if memory serves) or writing down the artists name (so I dont even know who they belong to). A couple of years ago I tried again, but those attacks were aimed at my partner at the time and mostly just an excuse to draw something for them-- it wasn't really made in the "spirit of Art Fight". In both cases I wasn't very familiar with the interface, the point system, the submission system- you get the idea. So when I started fresh and began the process of uploading characters, and later attacks, I was pleasantly surprised! Everything was simple enough and the things I was unsure about (mainly how to rate my works) had articles or answers on the official Art Fight Tumblr that helped a ton! These factors + the encouragement from friends who had already taken part gave me the push to set my goals/limits and give it a try!

At first I was a little discouraged- I didn't think anyone would like my characters or my artwork. I worried I was creating for no one but myself, which isn't bad!!! HOWEVER! This can feel isolating when you're submitting it to a place they're literally a hive of active artists, and as someone who hasn't posted a whole lot of art publicly in the last two-three years I was nervous to put myself out there!! Thankfully I got a lot of love and kind comments from friends, mutuals' and even complete strangers! It was immensely gratifying!!! My submissions were a little sporadic the rest of AF- if I felt up to working on something I'd work on it. If I didn't..I didn't! That did mean there was a lot of last minute attacks haha, especially after going over the top with a sona-centric illustration. Still! In 22 days I managed to make 16 fully rendered works- each one unique in its own way! Thats great!!

My reasoning for taking part in Art Fight is pretty simple; I enjoy drawing other folks characters and I love to experiment with my artwork. When I was younger I spent a lot of time on Deviant Art, specifically in clubs/groups. It was always fun to flip through groups and see all the different character designs, all the different styles and settings, and soak it all in. Now-a-days art based RP groups aren't really a thing, and finding places where you can easily flip through a varying range of artists and hobbiests works isn't as easy as it used to be. AF brings back a touch of nostalgia and a lot of good vibes from me! Its nice to feel like you're not only being acknowledged, but seen as an artists, esp online where its so easy to get lost in the massive sea of creators. To me AF didn't feel like I was going against anyone, but working alongside a ton of creatives- and that is an amazing feeling!! Its the same feeling I got from those old DA groups, from working on zines and even the fabled OCTs. Collaboration is beautiful and amazing and I hope other folks left Art Fight feeling as good as I did!

- - - - - -

Should YOU try Art Fight?

Are you older? Younger? New at art? Been doing art for a while? Tall? Short? An alien? Well! Art Fight may just be for you! No but seriously, AF isn't just for teens or people in their early 20s- its for everyone at every skill level. When I looked for characters I wasn't thinking "oh how talented is this artist" I was thinking "would this character be fun to draw". If you can approach AF like that you will most likely have a lot of fun! Well that and making sure you set yourself up for success. For those who have never taken part, or took part but feel like you had too much slack/creative freedom I suggest the following (in no particular order);

Use the tag system and find types of characters you KNOW you will enjoy drawing. If you love clowns look for clowns! If you would prefer object heads look for object heads! The tagging system is new, and I encourage everyone to use it, so it won't have EVERYONE but it will have options! This can help narrow down your choices vs just looking at the newly submitted or random characters.

See if any artists you admire/are friends with/are mutuals with are taking part! Sometimes the total unknown can be daunting! It can be easier to draw art for a friend, or someone you admire- and it gives you an excuse to do so.

Give yourself a limitation of materials you will use! Maybe you'll only use color pencils, or GIMP, or everything can only be down with blue ink- limitations like that can help establish a through-line through your submissions that can add a little stability.

Pick a theme for your attacks- maybe the first week everyone is drawn as Spooky Monsters, and the next week everyone is painted like they're from a Picasso painting. Just make sure to respect any character rules listed on character profiles!!

Stick to characters who have rules and suggestions! Personally I found these characters to be much more appealing (or unappealing) bc it automatically told me what I could or couldn't do from the start. If it felt too restrictive I'd say "no thanks" and keep looking! And if they had prompts I was more likely to use them bc it gave me a jumping off point.

Set a time limit. This can be the amount of time you will allow yourself to work on an attack, or it could be how much of Art Fight you're willing to take part in! Its ok if you say "I'm only going to work on weekends in July" or "I'm only going to attack the second week and thats it" ect! You do not need to take part every day! Do what works well for you!! Its your time and you should be having fun!

Art Fight should be FUN and if its not fun for you I'd suggest stepping away and doing something else that will bring you joy. My biggest suggestion for anyone who wants to try it out is to go in with low expectations and do what feeling good to you. If you have a hard time with any sort of competitive atmosphere, major anxiety about time restrictions, or just don't enjoy showing you art publicly, you most likely won't enjoy Art Fight. This doesn't mean you can't try!!! You can!! It just might not end up being your cup of tea.

- - - - - -

Final Thoughts (I promise I'm almost done)

Art Fight is, to me, what you make it. Setting limits, creating prompts, "gamifying" the event; that made taking part manageable even with everything else I need to juggle on a day-to-day schedule in my personal and work life. I think not taking too much of it too personally also helped- and I did struggle with this at the start! But then I saw I could draw a literal sock and was like "I think maybe I should just have fun" LOL! And I super did!! Drawing that sock was fun! Drawing a lot of what I made for AF was fun- I'm sad I didn't get to finish everything but I'm glad I was able to share my art with new people and get some cute stuff in return. I feel like I keep repeating myself with my positive comments, and I probs am, but I can't help it! The internet gave me a cool thing! And it ended well! Thats the total opposite of what I've experienced online LOL!!! To see people come together, see them create and gush and just be full of mirth n joy is very VERY nice during these not so nice times. I'm not sure if I'll be able to take part in next years AF, if I can though I totally will! Thanks for taking the time to read my lengthy write up! Did you take part in Art Fight? If so, what did you think? Would setting limits for yourself help you out, or would you prefer going loose-goosey? If you haven't tried might you attempt next year? Lemme know! I'm curious!!

Till next year-- Happy Art Fight yall!!!

[whumpshaped]

Hello! I just wanted to let you know that I really enjoyed glitching. It’s a bit embarrassing to say, but I barely interacted with it in any way that you could see because the format made me feel guilty about reading whump in a way that I hadn’t felt in a long time. That’s a compliment to your writing! Glitching was about being an accomplice and moral choices and I got caught up in it that I stopped participating in the polls after a few posts. I really liked it though.

Since you couldn’t see the likes that I very much wanted to give the series, I’m sending my thanks directly. You are really good at writing, and your specific style is one of my favorites on this site. Your writing is just brutal in a way that a lot of whump writing isn’t, and your characters are extremely compelling/whumpable. I can’t describe exactly what I love about it, but I do love it. You also made glitching really quickly, which is impressive. I’m still in awe of how you made all the different endings for the finale. That must have taken forever.

Was Glitching always going to end the way it did? If the audience had voted to kill Seth at the earliest opportunity, would that have happened? Are there any other pathways that you had planned out that we didn’t get to see? Basically, I loved Glitching and I want to hear all the behind the scenes details that you are willing to share.

Thanks again!

aaaaaaaaaa thank u SO much for this. long ass response under the cut !

this is honestly.... mostly all i wanted to achieve w glitching. (my first objective was to create a whump cyoa story where the options were all bad, bc in all the other ones ppl kept picking the good ones and i was like :| but my whump..? no whump..?) several times i felt like maybe the second person pov is too much and its too real and itll turn everyone off... but then i thought. thats. kind of what i want. i want it to feel a little gross even if its fiction. i wanted to make ppl feel conflicted.

so please dont feel bad about not interacting! i understand how it could feel rly bad and guilt-inducing. im glad u made the decision to stop interacting when u did, its NOT embarrassing in the slightest. this message means a whole lot either way.

hehehehehe im GLAD theyre brutal! thats very much the style i wanna be known for lol and the style i enjoy! i want stuff to be gruesome and disgusting! i want it to be brutal and unforgiving! i want violence! i want gore! and also thank u, im glad my characters r whumpable. especially w glitching, i saw that when other ppl put their cute ocs in situations no one wanted to hurt them, so i was like ok whos my most vile most hated most disgusting oc whom everyone would Love to see be punched in the face- in general i love making my ocs whumpable and pitiful. i love a pitiful little guy

i stopped writing glitching when my exams started at college, and iced it after maybe chapter 8 or 9. then i picked it back up again after i got a 20th message in my inbox abt how ppl miss it, and it successfully forced my hand to finally sit down and just Write. (i do have to be forced to write a lot of the times. it doesnt work for everyone, but it does for me. obviously i can never get in the zone if i dont even open the document yknow. thats why i write a lot of shitty drabbles! it keeps up momentum!) and then i just kept writing. and writing. and writing. trying to get a chapter out every day because i knew what i wanted to do and i wanted to finish it. when it comes to the finale, iiiii decided i wanted to do that whole thing literally 2 days beforehand. my friend told me "wow these options r all good" and i said "i know i kinda wanna see all of them too". and the idea was born. the seed was planted. the bug was in my fucken ear.

so the next morning i checked the poll on chapter 13, and saw that of course the option to keep seth alive was winning by far. so i wrote that in advance. then i started writing out the endings for the finale. i managed to get maybe 3 of them done. then the next day i finished the other 6, tweaked the earlier ones, all that. i uploaded them all, posted everything privately, fiddled forever w the links (which i knew were likely gonna break anyway-) and THEN WHEN THE TIME CAME I WANTED TO MAKE ONE LAST EDIT AND ACCIDENTALLY POSTED IT. so i had to unprivate everything in a fucking frenzy like OH MY GOD PPL WONT UNDERSTAND I RUINED IT I RUINED EVERYTHING. but anyway yes it took me like 2 days of writing and editing but the response was soooooo worth it. ppl were so so so kind to me. it was honestly amazing.

one thing abt me, i started planning my stories At All in the last few months. before that, Nothing. and especially w smth like glitching, where the audience's decision influences the next chapter and i cant plan ahead, i didnt even bother. whatever the audience chose was always gonna happen. if they chose to exit the stream on the very first poll, i wouldve ended it. im serious. i thought abt pulling "you try to exit but it doesnt work" but then i was like. no. ppl can have one (1) chance to turn their heads away if they want, as a treat. i wouldve written a chapter about the debilitating guilt and lifelong "what if" feeling, and that wouldve been it. as for the earlier murder options, yes! i wouldve gone thru w it at any time. starting from maybe the 6th chapter (or whenever i brought in the murder option) the audience held the power to end the stream and seth's suffering. they chose not to. but they couldve.

one option that i wanted that never got chosen was the baseball bat. im obsessed w beating someone to the point of broken bones w a baseball bat. so when the ending was getting nearer and nearer, i thought about simply disregarding the last poll and writing a single chapter where the host goes "i respected the choices u made up until now, but this time, im making the decision". but i was like. no fuck that. this is an interactive story all about being able to choose ur own decisions. i just asked the audience to supply me w puppy seth commands, citing how it was interactive. i couldnt just go and ignore that two chapters later, yknow? plus as u said it kind of all hinged on the feeling of "i did this. im responsible". so if i took that responsibility away in the last second IN THE MOST IMPORTANT DECISION OF ALL it wouldnt have been good enough

most of the time i just kept giving the options i really wanted to write, and eventually, ppl picked them. it was a good story in the sense that the order didnt matter too much. i could give the same options, and the host was still able to carry them all out.

some more behind the scenes- i thought about revealing the host's identity multiple times. i thought about making them someone the audience already knew (like ren, my friend's oc who greatly inspired the character from the very first chapter), or someone who couldve been vaguely familiar but unknown (a former friend of pumpkin?), but in the end i just settled on the mystery. especially since i decided to give it a paranormal twist. i couldve NEVER made a better reveal than the mystery itself. never ever. some things dont have to be revealed.

but yeah! thats that. i rly enjoyed glitching, i loved the response i got (it was by far the most popular story ive ever posted on here w the most tags and comments and asks), and i loved how i managed to do the finale. it was concise, i can say i finished another story, and its just all around a great time. thank u so much for ur message !!!

[scienceoftheidiot]

@his-alpha-vixen I hope you too don't mind me replying this way!

So I am going to go the opposite route to what I usually do with my WIPs here, which is try to keep the mystery and all. I'm going to give a detailed answer, for two reasons :

I have two very big WIPs I want to finish before I start writing this for real, even if I can't help plotting it, I don't want to dive into the characters and this setting while I'm still handling two other hard to write stuff. So it could take time, and sharing about it keeps me in the momentum to write it one day.

I don't mind spoilers myself. If you tell me where the story is headed and what is going to happen I still want to read the story, because what I want to know is HOW we get there, I want to live it and feel with the characters. So just giving out the structure of it doesn't bother me that much.

I'll keep it under a read more though in case some people aren't like me and want to avoid seeing plot points (and that makes the post appear shorter lol).

Roy and Riza stop piloting after a mistake of their own causes the destruction of their jaeger, injuries to themselves and above all the death of thousands of innocents in the outskirts of the city they were supposed to protect.

They are tasked to protect one big city, but they take too much time to kill the very big and too powerful kaiju before it reaches it, and it is entirely their conscious fault for plotting and hesitating, and they eventually have to kill him right there to save the bigger part of the city, crushing and burning thousands in the process.

Their boss (Bradley!) and the overall public don't give a shit because the places destroyed were slums.

Riza gets severe burns on her back, Roy on his hands while trying to save her (he starts wearing gloves at all times starting then). Roy and Riza alike feel tremendous guilt for the killing of thousands of innocents, but are shunned whenever they want to talk about it, because "they did their job".

Once they are (physically 🙃) healed, they try to go back to piloting, but during their first training session with a new jaeger the drift goes wrong. Both are anxious about messing up again and killing people and seeing the other being hurt, and they get stuck into a feedback loop, putting their whole crew and more in danger. Roy is the one who manages to pull out and bring Riza back, but they are then forbidden by Bradley to pilot together again, for safety reasons. Riza decides to become the mechanic for Roy and his new copilot - Havoc, whom Roy is drift compatible with, even if the connexion is nothing like what he had with Riza.

Flash forward a few years, a new pilot team appears: two young genius brothers who have been noticed for building their own jaeger with scavenged spare parts. The older has lost an arm and a leg (I take it that in a world with the technology to build giant robots connected to the nervous system of their pilots, there is a good equivalent to automail) and the younger never takes out his full pilot suit. They are great at fighting and friendly with most.

What the Elrics won't tell is that they were casualties of Roy and Riza's mistake. They were injured while trying to save their mom from the destruction.

*

One last point that has nothing to do with the story - and thanks already if you read until here, hope you liked these ideas :

Like everyone, I am wary of people stealing my ideas if I share them like that, but come on. This is fanfic. I can't whine about it. And while all the plot is there, I know my forte isn't plotting AT ALL, this is pretty easy to come up with if you're familiar with both source material. It's just a synthesis of both. My thing, what I'm good at - at least I think I am lol - is characters feelings and dialogues. Angst, for example. Which you don't have here lol. So eh feel free to just do the same thing, if it strikes your imagination, two authors with the same guidelines will never come up with the same stuff. The more the merrier.

[lemonadesoda]

I reblogged a post about pacing in writing the other day and generally I do think it's good advice to keep in mind, especially if you're concerned about a bloated story but it also makes me wonder how much it's actually worth it to have every single scene doing multiple duties. I wonder if the idea that good writing must be efficient reflects a certain bias in storytelling values. Is it really actually necessary to excise every bit of potentially "boring" bits from your story?

I frequently think about chapter 8 of Catching Icarus in regards to this, because it's arguably one of the least "plot forward" chapters in the entire story, on account of it being heavily focused on character relationships. I spent a while with it on the cutting room floor before declaring it finished, but it turned out in the end that I cut or condensed very little. There are several things that I think could have been made more "efficient": dialogue that may not have been strictly necessary, that did little more than have characters spend time together (e.g., Tevane's conversation with Sembe before Lemel wakes up). If I wanted to, I could have cut straight to the moment Tevane goes to give Lemel breakfast, and just interspersed key information from his conversation with Sembe in other lines, but thinking about doing that just feels kind of...unsatisfying. Tbh a lot of that story is long because I'm explicitly asking people to sit with the moments of a narrative that aren't really brimming with momentum.

Maybe I'm underestimating my own writing in the sense that the scene is actually doing a lot more heavy lifting than even I'm giving it credit for. It does set the tone for the steady realizations Tevane has about Lemel and what motivates them that peaks at the end of the chapter (i.e., that they're lonelier and less okay than they're willing to let on). But still, the priority when I was writing that scene was also to literally give the relationship with Sembe space to breathe. Sometimes my characters seem to meander their way to the crux of the conversation and I end up refusing to trim much of it down because the meandering is part of the relationship, even if it tends to make the scene go on for a while. I want to give characters literal actual time together, because in terms of relationship-building and trust-building, there is no substitute for the power of time spent together, and quite frankly, most of that is not spent doing anything particularly important. If your characters are too busy doing Plot Things together, how well do they actually know each other? And quite frankly, how well do you, the reader, know them either?

This kind of muddies the water in terms of deciding what's an indulgence vs what's essential. Am I reluctant to trim up a conversation to be more punchy because I personally just love character interactions and can write forever about them, or is it because I'm sensing that the length is crucial to managing the pace? In most of my longfics, I have what I consider interlude chapters where I purposely decelerate plot and turn the lens toward characters processing what they're going through. Some people really like these, and some people really don't like "filler" but there have been arguments for the value of filler.

Lol, unfortch this all has gotten me no closer to being able to tell if a scene is truly, unnecessarily boring or if the slowness is essential and the scene still evokes something.

[violetswritingg]

Canary Cry

Robin/Nightwing (Dick Grayson) x OFC!

Description: Her violence was silent. Until it wasn't.

"I'm fine."

"Fine is just another word for drowning."

Rating T-M (mentions of blood, child abuse, mental health, cannon situations of violence and the like. Loss of parents, hard of hearing/deaf character, poorly written fight scenes lol)

Want to read the other chapters?

Click here

5

SANTA PRISCA

July 22, 23:08 ECT

"Uh... Goldie, you got a little something-" KF pointed at her shoulder, withering under the glare the blonde sent him from her position leaning against a tree. 

"I'm fine." Kate pushed out, "And how many times have I told you? Don't call me Goldie!" She harshly whispered, pushing off the tree and leaving a bloody handprint behind.

"GF..." Robin trailed off worriedly, his own gloved hands reaching forward and touching the wet blood. He turned his mask covered eyes to her shoulder, seeing the graze but not seeing blood. His eyes moving down to where she had been holding before. Her side. "It's going to keep bleeding until it's stitched up."

"Which isn't an option right now. I'm fine! I'm good to keep going. Let's go." Kate snapped again, weakly pushing past Robin and KF, Aqualad stopping her by latching onto her uninjured shoulder.

"Goldfinch, you are injured, worse than I thought and a team is only as strong as its weakest link-"

"I am not a weak link." Kate growled ripping herself away from the leader. "How many times do I need to tell you I'm fine before you believe me?! I've taken a lot worse than this on my own and kept going."

"I did not mean to offend-"

"Yeah, well you did. I'm okay to keep going and kick some cultist ass. I won't say it again." Kate steeled her failing center of balance by sheer force of will and continued in the direction they needed to go to get back to the factory.

The team shared a look and followed after their injured member.

~~*~~

Kate went over the plan in her head again as they waited, taking a breath. Ignoring the multiple sets of eyes boring into her being.

"Here." Robin appeared at her side, a container of water in hand and being offered to her. "It should help the dizziness."

With narrowed eyes Kate hesitantly took the offering and gulped down some water. Feeling a bit better as she wiped her mouth with the back of her glove. "Thanks."

"I don't think BC would be too happy if we came back with a dead Goldfinch." He joked, successfully making Kate chuckle. His grin growing at the sound.

"No, no she would not. She would undoubtedly find a Lazarus pit, revive me, only to kill me again. Then bring me back one last time just to make sure I learned my lesson." Robin managed to smother his laugh with his hand at the girl's matching humor.

"Why didn't you use your canary cry back there?" Robin asked, as if knowing he was treading on thin ice.

"What have you done?!"

"It's not exactly inside friendly, and with ceilings like that it would be echoing so loud we wouldn't be able to hear ourselves think." If her response sounded practiced, it's because it was.

"Right. I should get in position, good luck out there." Robin seemed to know that's all he was getting from her, and he left. Taking one last moment to herself Kate looked down at the water in her hands. Finishing what was left and making her way to her position. Superboy a little way off.

"You good?" The clone asked neutrally, Kate simply nodding in response. Which was enough for the clone as he mirrored the action and jumped.

Kate made her way into the thick of it as KF ran around and Aqualad took on big guy. Superboy keeping Sportsmaster busy while Robin disappeared into the fray.

"Come get me." Kate laughed as multiple men in red cloaks came to circle her. Running two steps forward she jumped, her legs locking around the shoulders of her target. Her body weight and momentum taking him to the ground as she twisted around him. Quickly pulling one of her batons she knocked him unconscious and moved on. Dodging bullets as she grappled off the man and landed behind some crates on a knee, hand in front of her to balance herself.

Climbing over she greeted the first person she saw with her boots to their face. Landing over their unconscious form and going right into another fight. And then another, and another. She couldn't keep this up, if her spinning vision said anything. She couldn't hold back anymore.

The amount of red hooded bastards seemed never ending, and she was out of options. She couldn't see the others through the smoke and the bodies, but she knew where they were if they were following the plan.

"What have you done?!"

Planting her feet, she built up pressure in her throat, and screamed.

Kate heard the planned explosion of the helicopter and looked up with a smirk, seeing someone jump just before the mode of transportation crashed into the factory in a fiery boom. Something Kate had thought she'd only see in action movies. Until her life seemingly became one that is.

The blonde's attention was stolen away by a yell, her blue eyes took in the position Robin was in, Kobra leader's foot on his chest as he struggled to breathe, the blonde freezing in place.

"What are you gonna do huh? You weak little-" The foot on her chest, keeping her down, kept her from breathing. She couldn't breathe. He was so much bigger than her and she couldn't breathe.

Robin got out of the pin the Kobra leader had him in, flipping away and landing in front of the team. Kate snapping out of her memories and planting her feet once again. Ready to make this guy's hearing go bye-bye.

But of course, Walmart Voldemort took the cowards way out and backed up into the jungle behind him, "Another time then." Robin leaped after him as he disappeared between to trees, melting into the shadows in a way that would make Batman jealous.

Kate looked around, now that they were relatively out of danger. The loud fire raging in the factory behind them filling her ears with crackles and pops as thick black smoke rose into the sky.

"Looks like we chose the right guy to lead," Robin said, walking up to Aqualad, "Automatically making you the right guy to explain this mess to Batman!" Robin laughed and Kate couldn't help but chuckle as she passed them.

"Good luck, I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers." The blonde smirked as the Atlantean gave her a small smile.

~~*~~

STAR CITY

The Arrowcave, Queen Manor

July 23, 03:15 PDT

"Dinah- Ow!" Kate yelped as her mentor all but slapped the bandage on over the freshly stitched bullet wound.

"What happened to recon Kate? Observe and report. That's all you had to do. Yet here you are, down a pint of blood and collecting bullet wounds like the doll maker collects victims." Dinah Lance was a strong, independent woman, and was not to be messed with when she went into what Kate and Oliver had coined 'mom-mode'. It was best to just apologize for whatever you fucked up and hope for the best.

"Things evolved in the field, like they always do. Plus, it didn't help that for the first half of the mission Wally and Robin were bickering like an old married couple about who would be a better leader." Kate rolled her eyes, pulling up the collar of her oversized t-shirt that may or may not have belonged to Oliver at some point.

Hopping off the cold medical table, Kate walked over to her bloody suit.

"You have to be more-"

"Careful, I know." Kate poked a finger through the hole in the shoulder and sighed. "I'm sorry, okay? I'll do better."

"Kate, I didn't mean-" Dinah cut herself off, taking a breath before starting again. "You did well, don't believe for a second you didn't. Most seasoned veterans don't adapt as well in the face of exigent circumstances as you and the team did, especially you." Kate looked to her mentor out of the corner of her eye, still fiddling with her suit shirt. "I'm so proud of you, I would have wanted you to come back without two grazes, and with all your blood in your body, but that doesn't make me any less proud."

Kate dropped her eyes to her uniform, feeling a burning sensation in her eyes that was worse than being shot.

She hadn't known that she had wanted someone to say those words to her, not until she moved in with Dinah and was surrounded by warmth, love, and acceptance. Things she had never truly experienced in her life and were completely foreign to her.

It was overwhelming to the teen, to have people actually care about her, if she was alive or not, if she was eating right, or was feeling okay emotionally. She had always had to be fine, because no one had ever been there to lift her back up when she wasn't, she had to do it on her own.

But she didn't deserve it. She didn't deserve Dinah's... everything.

"I froze." Dinah just looked at the girl, letting her speak in her own time, "Robin was pinned under some Walmart Voldemort's foot and- and I froze." Kate finally admitted, the confession having pent up in her from the second she failed in the field. "I could have helped him... but it was like my legs were stuck in concrete and all I could think of was back in one of my group homes – I couldn't breathe."

"It's okay-"

"How? What would have happened if Robin got hurt? If any of them got hurt and I could have stopped it but... didn't. Because of my own fucked up head."

"Hey." Dinah's voice steeled, "It happens to the best of us, it's even happened to me. We may be heroes but we're not perfect and that's okay. All you can ever do is your best." Dinah wrapped an arm around the teens shoulders gently and just let Kate feel what she needed to feel in that moment.

"I don't want to disappoint you." Kate's voice broke under her stress. Dinah was shocked, her eyes going wide, a slight sting as she took in Kate. Seeing the stress in her sagging shoulders and the worry in her misty eyes and wanting to kick herself.

"You could never disappoint me."

Dinah was almost knocked off her feet when the younger girl turned abruptly and wrapped her arms around her waist, clutching onto the woman tightly.

The older woman, feeling her shoulder dampen, held on just as tightly. Petting the girl's hair that was an exact shade match to her own. Gently cooing to her as Oliver came down the metal stairs, freezing when he saw the scene before him. Not knowing what had happened but joining in on the hug anyway.

The feeling of Oliver's presence was what made Kate break, a quiet sob ripping itself from her throat as her body began to shake, the two adults only held on tighter as if they could put her broken pieces back together, if they just held on tight enough.

Kate slowly calmed down, sniffling quietly against Dinah's shoulder, "Guys? I can't breathe." Oliver and Dinah chuckled and gave the girl some space, her deep blue eyes bloodshot and the tip of her nose was a shade of red that could rival Rudolph's. "I'm sorry about the suit."

"Not a problem, a new one can be made. You though? Irreplaceable." Oliver said wiping away the tears tracks from her cheeks and pinching her chin. Drawing a stuffy chuckle from the girl, a smile coming to her face. "The next one will definitely be a Kevlar tri-polymer, so that this doesn't happen again." Oliver gestured to her shoulder, where the thick white bandage was peeking out of the short sleeve of her shirt.

"Thanks Ollie, Dinah," Kate said quietly, her voice rough, "For everything." Kate felt a lump grow in her throat and if she hadn't of just expelled every last free drop of water in her body, she was sure her eyes would have started to water again.

"No need to thank us. You're family, and we love you." Dinah smiled gently at the girl, her eyes holding an intensity that gave no room for Kate to doubt her words, "Now, come on, I'm sure you're tired, you've had an eventful night." The older woman led Kate to the metal stairs, Oliver trailing behind them as they all entered the Queen Manor.

"Get some rest kiddo, you deserve it." Kate smiled tiredly up at the two adults and started upstairs, stopping at the landing.

"Goodnight, love you."

Oliver and Dinah's eyes went wide, growing to the size of plates. But before they could say anything the teen disappeared down the hallway. The two adults shared a look and Oliver slung an arm over Dinah's shoulder, kissing the side of her head.

"She's going to be okay, she's strong."

"Yeah, she is." Dinah muttered, letting Oliver pull her up the staircase opposite the one Kate had gone up, leading her to their room in a separate wing of the house.

~~*~~

MOUNT JUSTICE

July 25, 13:06 EDT

The day had come, Batman was finally here to give them the bat glare of all bat glares. The team standing side by side as if in a firing line. That's what it felt like to Kate anyway.

"A simple recon mission. Observe and report. You'll each receive a written evaluation detailing your many mistakes. Until then... Good job." Kate, along with the rest of the team did a double take, had Batman just... complimented them? On their shit show of a first mission? Is this real life? "No battle plan survives first contact with the enemy, how you adjust to the unforeseen is what determines success. And how you choose who leads determines character."

The blonde, as well as the rest of the team, stood a little taller, their posture a little prouder.

This whole team thing... might just work out.

~~*~~

[toestalucia]

can i talk about sr joel's fate eps again cuz they make me lose my mind. fate eps i went into like hihi joel but was immediately hit with 1) ebisu & echidna talk 2) dealing with captain making assumptions about him leaving the crew and being upset about that all on their own. been dying for them to discuss that more and then they gave me it in JOELS fate eps.....

ive been over this in the past too, but stuff like the crew succeeded with its initial goal/get-together reason in erste & crew members who has finished the reason why they joined the crew (such as joel realizing there very likely isnt a sea to swim in in the crimson horizon -> the topic of 'joel has no reason to stay' comes up) & then decided to keep travelling..........................luna's 'i dont like bad end movies' or whatever the title is..............oughhhhh i looovvvvvvvv when characters say they intend to stay with the grandcypher/join for estalucia it makes me so emotional

Joel: So in Auguste, the mother of the Crimson Horizon became the Mother of Life. That's why we believe an ocean waits at the bottom of the sky.

Joel: The same thing happened with Ebisu, the primal beast of blessings. In Auguste, that name's no more than a good luck charm—something to name your hammer or saw after.

like out of all primals to namesdrop in some sr's fate eps

Lyria has only half-understood the captain's mood. (Captain) is indeed worried about Joel's dampened spirits. But heavier still is the knowledge that he no longer has a reason to stay with the crew. The thought of parting with a treasured friend does not sit well with the captain.

do u get why i lose my fkng mind. guy who assumes things all on their own. also captain who is so bothered by the entire thing joel asks if theyre sick when he sees their face like help....

Before Joel can fret any further, (Captain) takes a deep breath and speaks. Choose: Are you going home? Joel: What? Oh... 'Cause we're heading to Auguste, right? Yeah. Thought I'd swing by. I already made it to the bottom of the sky... And I haven't seen my family in a while. Realizing Joel really does intend to leave, (Captain)'s shoulders sag. Joel: Captain, you're not looking too good. Go figure. We've been stuck in Pandemonium this whole time.

CONVOS THAT HAUNTS ME. 'i thought id swing by' Captain who was alrdy worried joels leaving is now Convinced. unreal

(Captain) manages a slow nod at what might be the last lecture Joel gives on the Grandcypher.

BHADBADBBADBJADBJKADBJKBJKADAD THEYRE SO DRAMATIC....but also joels whole lecture truly does feel like a goodbye thing like my dude...u r 19......imagine being told by a 19yo that u should sleep early..... but also in general how a lot of the dialogue starts leaning into the 'joel is leaving' narrative captain deluded themself into LOL

Diving forward, (Captain) yanks Lyria back, but the momentum carries the captain overboard instead.

doing this when ebisu&echidna alrdy was mentioned is so funny. golden knight....

Joel's voice is cold. With a shock, the captain realizes how cruel it was to believe Joel would just disappear.

this. this line. this exact one. joel who's upset because captain assumed he was leaving for good (lyria too is like, if he did he would tell us tho...) like its ssooooooooo goooooood this is what ive wanted im so glad still they gave this to me

Joel: You really think I'm the sort of guy that would abandon the crew? Without a word? I can't believe you...

Anna: Well... It's hard to ask about something if you're afraid of the answer, right? I know what that's like...

anna desperately trying to vouch for captain i lov her sm. either way the rest of the fate ep is also unreal. 'my grandmother did this thing with my grandfather' you cannot be serious...... hold on i forgot he said some of this stuff what the hell.................give joel a vday unit alrdy..........

Now the captain knows that though their dreams and wishes may change with time, their bond will always remain strong.

also makes me so emotional tho....

[thomine]

slo's playlist of thoughts

description: a series of "announcements" and just things on my mind. i do hope to get them done (if these thoughts are action thoughts) so look out for those i guess? :3 | 05/08/23

since patch 4.0 will drop in mid-august, meaning we'll have more information of lynney and freminet, i was thinking of swapping repeated character's prompts that i'm not too interested in with the two boys. currently looking at baizhu + modern and (most likely) kazuha + farm/ranch. to be replaced with lynney and freminet respectively. (going to be honest: not really a big baizhu fan lmao. baizhu + modern sounds so so so boring).

probably will drop a post that explains 3-5 points per AU? not just what i thought on the fly that was the basis of the world, but also the potential of each fic based on what themes or symbolism popped up.

i know i said the works will be less than 1.5k for my au august challenge... but like... tighnari. you would understand too, right? plus, (i think) since it was a fic inspired by the work of someone who already did the heavy lifting of worldbuilding, it was easier to write more words for it. either way, i'm proud i managed to write 1.5k words (in the span of time that i did) but also i don't think i can keep this momentum up for the whole of august, so expect more less than 1k works even.

i might want to rewrite childe's portion. just because i feel bad for giving his story only 900 words then he shows up in the fontaine trailer. like, i'm not giving him justice bro. and he's in the nation of justice. the irony, haha.

so, as my friends would know, i'm not a huge baizhu fan but i rolled on kaveh's banner (you read that right) and did not get favourable results. this actually broke my pulling rule of only pulling on rerun banners and i can't believe i did that for a blonde. well... freminent..... (why are all the characters i like 4-stars that are not free-drops *screams*. anyways). i don't think i'll be pulling him this time... but i do hope i can have him sooner or later. there's just this feeling of satisfaction owning a character you write for, yk?

chongyun's fic (that is part of 10 confessions) will be rewritten (or tweaked) and published as a whole story after i complete chapter 2. i did say this in the tags but putting it here is like making it official, lol.

i did not forget 10 confessions. i will start working on it when i finish au august. i do want to expand on some of the au's even after august, so do not be surprised if i rewrite or start a new wip or even continue from where i left off in the future.

even though i want to continue 10 confessions after au august, do note that my primary concern will be my bennett fic meant for my friend's event !!! so... hopefully.... i have the energy to work on that! haha.

[productivepsychstudent]

14.10.22

I managed to wake up at 6 am and keep a good momentum the whole day.

I finished.. - Turned in a peer assessment for a group project - Quiz 6 in BioPsych - Lecture in D&D (Drugs and Diseases lol) - Walked 10.000 steps - Got my video assignment for BioPsych up to 2 minutes 30 seconds

[lexicals]

So here’s a random excerpt from that fic I mentioned - the conceit (spoilers for all systems red ahead) is that the combat override module in ASR works differently to how it does in canon, so instead of mb causing catastrophic damage to itself after going to the DeltFall habitat and getting found out, it shares the rogue thing mostly voluntarily (“mostly” being the operative word lol)

Warnings for canon-typical identity crises, gallows humour (inc. passively suic*dal talk), etc. I also haven’t been back and checked this against canon yet so if you notice any glaring contradictions no you didn’t 💕

-

I didn’t reply. I'd heard worse, but I still would rather not listen to it. Normally, I would've expected to feel angry or offended or something, but instead I just felt exhausted. My own borked governor module was still poking me about that error code I didn't recognise and even backburnered, it was starting to get on my nerves, so I—

Oh, shit.

I immediately put my hand to the back of my neck and yanked out the chip that had been shoved into the dataport. My governor module promptly stopped screaming at me, but fortunately any sense of relief I might have gotten from that was immediately replaced by an enormous wave of anxiety and oh-for-fuck's-sake as I looked at the chip in my hand. You know, just in case I'd started getting too comfortable.

"SecUnit, are you alright?"

Ratthi was looking at me with concern. Checking the camera views, I understood why he'd asked the question, because I was making an expression I generally associated with humans shitting themselves. Metaphorically, I was shitting myself. Ratthi was now squinting at the chip, which I couldn't even pretend I hadn't literally just pulled out of my neck, because I'd just done it in front of everyone here like an absolute idiot. "What is that?"

I tried to bring my expression back to neutral, but the cameras showed it wasn't as successful as I would've liked. I'd managed somewhere in the region of moderate digestive discomfort, I think. "It's a combat override module."

This wasn't good for several reasons. First of all, it meant that the DeltFall units weren't really rogues; they'd been taken over by a third party using a chip like this to hijack their governor modules and order them to murder their clients, and also anyone else who made contact. Probably by whoever owned those surprise extra units that almost killed me. Which meant that there were still threats on this planet outside of the unknown dangerous fauna that we hadn't dealt with, and I was going to have to worry about that.

The second reason this wasn't good (so maybe saying several reasons was an exaggeration, but these were big reasons so maybe they counted for more, I don't know) was that the humans were going to want to know what a combat override module was, what it did, how it worked, and most importantly, why it hadn't worked on me. I could answer the first three things just fine, but short of telling my already-jittery clients I was hacked ("so I'm actually one of those scary rogue units you've heard so much about, but the good news is that a combat override module can't hijack a governor module that doesn't work!") that last thing was going to be a big problem.

Honestly, even if I did tell them exactly that, which I really didn't want to do, it was going to be a really big fucking problem.

"What?" Gurathin asked, looking alarmed. Of course, he had an augment and access to my operating manual, so it had taken him a tenth of the time to look that up compared to any of the others, if they actually had bothered to do that and weren't just waiting for me to explain. "The DeltFall units - they put that in you?"

"Yes, but it didn't work. It must be faulty," I told him, quickly before he did something stupid. The irony being that me saying that almost definitely came under the category of "doing something incredibly stupid," which I realised as soon as it came out of my mouth.

I don't know why I said it. I guess I was panicking. I'd told them all what it was in the first place because if I'd lied about it and they looked it up anyway, which they probably would, I'd look really fucking suspicious. (A governed unit can't lie to its clients; it can't even refuse to answer a direct question like that.) Maybe I was trying to buy time to think of a decent explanation by telling them something that wouldn't make everyone start screaming. Honestly, I was mostly internally spiralling about the whole situation, so that would be the best case scenario. I was still staring at the chip, which was making me feel nauseous even though I didn't have a stomach and I'd had another kind of chip in my head telling me what do to for a good chunk of my existence anyway, so it shouldn't have been bothering me as much as it was. I couldn't help still doing it.

"Would someone please explain what this means and why we should be worried?" Mensah asked, looking between me and Gurathin. I appreciated that she didn't do what a lot of humans do in these kinds of situations, which is that they see someone else freaking out and start freaking out themselves for no reason. I suppose that's why she was the survey leader.

I pulled the relevant section from my operating manual and pushed it into the feed (beating Gurathin's version by a solid 1.6 seconds, which, I won't lie, was kind of satisfying), and watched all the humans collectively have their "oh, shit" moment (excluding Gurathin, who'd already had his). I was at least glad to see they understood how bad this whole situation was getting.

"So this lets other people just—" Overse made an abrupt waving motion with her hand. "Take over any SecUnit whenever they want?"

"It is intended for use in emergency situations, for example when the contract holder is compromised," I told her.

"Which is corporate for 'we know this is stupidly dangerous to make, but if we say it's for emergency use only then we're not liable for people fucking around with it'," Pin-lee muttered, not quietly. She was right, but I'm not allowed to say things like that, or at least I can't if I want people to think I'm a good little properly-governed SecUnit. For however long that's going to last, at this point.

"But it didn't work, right?" Arada asked, looking at me, and then around at the others. "So it's fine."

If it had, you'd all be dead, I thought, but that probably wouldn't go down well. "The module's presence is new evidence which would suggest that the DeltFall units weren't true rogues, and were put under the control of a third party in order to kill their survey group and make it look like a random act of insubordination. This would explain the presence of extra SecUnits at the site and the acts of sabotage on our equipment."

All the humans went quiet. I didn't like it any more than them, but it had to be said. It meant that there were still factions on this planet, or at least nearby enough to matter, that probably still wanted to kill all of them, and me by extension. I was already updating my security procedures and running some scenarios for what might happen and what we could do about it in the background. If I was honest, it wasn't looking good, but hey, what's new.

"We should run an analysis of the module's code to see if we can find out who it would have assigned control to," Gurathin said. That was one of the first things I'd put on my own task list, but whatever, I didn't need credit for an obvious idea. "Even if it didn't work as intended, the data might still be there."

He stood up and came just close enough to me to hold out his hand for the module. Technically, he hadn't asked me to give it to him, so I didn't have to, which was good because that was the last thing I wanted to do right now. There was a reason I'd put the analysis on my personal task list, and not on a public one.

"I have my own analysis scheduled as high priority," I said.

"I don't think that's a good idea," Gurathin replied, staring me down even though I was deliberately not making eye contact with him, and also he had to look up at me. I decided I didn't like Gurathin very much.

"Why not?" Ratthi chimed in. "Surely it's better if you both look at it?"

"Because there's a chance that the module did work as intended, and this unit is now compromised," Gurathin said. "It might not even know it until it's too late."

"I'm not compromised."

"Which is what a compromised unit who's being told what to say would say."

He was still staring at me. I decided I really didn't like Gurathin, even though in this instance he was actually right. I hadn't brought up that possibility to the group because it would be very bad for me if the humans decided to run a detailed diagnostic of my systems, but from a security perspective it was an avenue that should be investigated. That didn't mean I had to like what was happening here.

I was trying to figure out how to tell Gurathin to fuck off without sounding compromised, insubordinate, or straight-up rogue when Mensah cut in.

"SecUnit," she said carefully. "I don't think any of us think that you're actually compromised, but given our situation I'm sure you understand we have to take every possible precaution. I think the best thing to do would be to let Gurathin and Pin-lee analyse the module first, and then for you to run your analysis afterwards. Does that sound fair to everyone?"

She was using a tone that I designated as diplomatic, which was probably because I was being difficult. Or at least as difficult as a governed SecUnit would be able to be. I could be a lot more difficult if I wanted (a lot more) but I wasn't going to make myself look any more suspicious than I already was, and as I might have mentioned, I was already starting to look pretty suspicious. I also appreciated that Mensah was trying to actually talk to me, and hadn't just tried to shock me through my governor module for being unhelpful like a lot of clients would, and had. It wouldn't have worked (clearly, that's kind of the whole problem here) but it's the thought that counts or whatever.

(She'd also saved me, back at the DeltFall habitat. I was trying not to think about that, because it was making me have emotions I couldn't handle trying to figure out right now, but she had. It had been stupid, putting her client-self in danger to try to save a SecUnit that was already half-destroyed anyway, but I still felt like it counted for something.)

I handed the chip over and tried not to sigh or visibly clench my jaw. I saw Mensah's expression, and a few of the others' too, relax on the cameras. Good to know everyone else felt better while my own anxiety levels were at an all-time high. And I'm programmed into a base level of anxiety and spend a good portion of my time getting shot at or trying to avoid being found out and scrapped, so "high" in this instance was at a level that I think might have given a fully-organic being a heart attack.

"Thank you," Mensah said, while I tried to bring my processes in line. I felt like I wasn't getting enough oxygen, even though I knew the air quality was fine and I don't need that much anyway. I couldn't get a full breath. "I'm sure we can clear any doubt about this soon enough. In the meantime, we still need you to help keep us safe from whoever it is that's out there. The most important thing is that we all make it out of this in one piece."

The way she said it made it sound like "all" included me as well, but I wasn't so sure I believed that, even if she did. The SecUnit is always the first thing left behind. Maybe they did things differently in whatever weird non-corporate territory these people were from, but I wasn't about to stake anything important on that assumption, even if she had saved me once. I've never been to a planet with thunderstorms, but there's some saying humans like to use about lightning not striking the same place twice - which doesn't make sense, statistically, but - whatever. You get the point. I hadn't made it this far without being found out by trusting random humans - or any humans, for that matter.

Except none of that mattered at the moment anyway, because what I should be doing was figuring out how the hell to stop all my clients figuring out I was hacked, and freaking out and stopping listening to me, or reporting me to the company, or being really stupid and trying to kill me or something. There was a not-unlikely scenario where I just murdered all of the humans and pinned the blame on the DeltFall units somehow (or just wandered off into the wilderness until my batteries ran out), but I didn't want to do that, even if it made some kind of sense. I just didn't. If I was going to go around murdering my own clients, I wanted it to at least be a group that deserved it.

I was busy trying to pick up at least some of my processes while having what was probably a panic attack (I don't know if I can have those, but that's what it felt like) when Mensah tapped my feed. Can I talk to you, please? In private?

I didn't respond quickly because, as I said, I was currently losing control of literally everything and this wasn't helping. For one horrible moment, I thought that she might have figured out everything, and I really would have to go on a rampage and kill everyone, but there was no way she could have come to that conclusion yet. Not yet.

She added, You don't have to. You're not in trouble, I just want to check in.

I tapped her feed to acknowledge. She sent, I'll be in my quarters. As I said, you don't have to, but I would appreciate it. Out loud, she said, "I'm going to take some time alone to think. I'll be in my quarters if anyone needs me."

Then she stood up, and she left. Gurathin and Pin-lee had also gone to start their analysis of the combat override module, along with Volescu. The others were talking amongst themselves, though some of them kept glancing at me, which was uncomfortable. So I walked out of the room.

I started a patrol circuit in an attempt to calm down, but it didn't help. I even tried to have Sanctuary Moon playing as I walked, but I was still as stressed as ever, so I just turned it off again. It was only a matter of time before the humans realised the module should have worked as intended, and that I'd lied, and that something was wrong with me. They might try to talk to me about it, but it was more likely they'd all start losing their minds and try to immobilise me, or kill me, or try to fix my governor module to bring me back under control. (I was pretty sure that wouldn't work, my hack was a solid one, but I still didn't want them to try.) There was also a scenario where they pretended everything was fine up until I'd gotten them out of here, and then they'd turn me over to the company and tell them everything, and the company would do one of those things I just mentioned, but much more effectively.

That last one made me feel nauseous. I'd rather be torn apart by bullets or fauna. I was contemplating what that might feel like and whether it was worth just getting it over with when I walked past Mensah's quarters. Before I could think about it, I'd pinged her feed.

There was a pause, and then she sent come in, sounding startled. She probably hadn't expected me to actually take up her offer. I hadn't either.

She was hurriedly organising her desk as the door opened and I walked in, a feed interface lopsided on her head. I suspected she might have been falling asleep in her chair or having an emotion in private when I pinged her, and I could have verified that through the security feeds, but I wasn't functioning at all optimally and didn't care enough to check. Mostly I was wondering why I was here.

"Sorry," she said, not having looked at me yet. Her short hair was mussed like she'd been pulling or scrunching her hands in it. "I honestly didn't expect you to come."

"You asked me to."

"I also told you it was optional. You can leave if you want to."

I almost did. I wanted to. I probably should have. I didn't. Mensah removed her wonky interface and set it down on the desk, then sighed and picked it back up and put it on again.

"I didn't mean to distress you with that message," she said, turning her chair to fully face me. "It's just that you seemed very rattled by all this, if you don't mind me saying. I can imagine the thought of that module having worked as intended isn't a pleasant one. Is there anything I can do to make things easier for you?"

Oh, she thought I was freaking out about the module. Well, technically she wasn't wrong, but wow, that particular aspect of things was the least of my worries right now. "I'm fine," I told her. She frowned at me.

"...I suppose you can't lie about that," she replied carefully. I could, actually, but I wasn't. The trick is that from the standpoint I was choosing to take, my physical body, AKA "me," was completely functional, AKA "fine." It's pedantic, but being selective about your definitions and what concepts your answers are referencing is how you get around having a chip in your brain that shocks the shit out of you if you try to lie to your clients, if you're good enough at it. I had a lot of experience letting clients think I was talking about one thing when I was actually talking about something else.

"Nonetheless," Mensah continued. "I don't think you are fine. And we don't have to talk about it, but I need my team in good condition if we're going to make it out of this. If there's anything I can do to help the situation, I would appreciate it if you let me know."

I was having a whole cascade of emotional responses that were all crashing into each other and getting themselves mangled together like a human vehicle accident. She wanted me to talk about my feelings, but she wasn't ordering me to. She was offering to help with whatever was distressing me, but she was a really big part of the thing that was currently my biggest source of stress. There were too many things that I needed to deal with all at once and I couldn't find a way of putting them in order, and I think the fact that Mensah was clearly trying to get a read on my expression while I didn't have the capacity to properly control it was the thing that finally broke me.

"Could you please stop looking at me?"

Mensah looked surprised for a moment, and then shifted her gaze somewhere over my left shoulder. The relief was marginal, in terms of the general situation, but it was immediate, and it helped. "Of course. I'm sorry, I didn't realise that bothered you."

I tried to think of a response, and failed. "It's not like anyone asked" was dangerously insubordinate, and didn't even make sense; I wouldn't want them to ask anyway. "People don't usually care" just sounded pathetic. "Of course you wouldn't, I actively avoid letting humans know what bothers me in case they decide to use it to make my life a living hell" was definitely off the table, for a variety of reasons.

I could tell Mensah's instinct was still to look at me, because she kept half-flicking her eyes over and stopping herself. It wasn't making trying to manage my emotional responses any easier, and I still couldn't think of a reply. Eventually, she took a deep breath.

"Look, I know you probably haven't had good experiences with humans, but we're not corporates, and we don't treat non-human entities like they do," she said. "My priority, regardless of the situation, is the wellbeing of my team, and that includes you, for as long as you're with us."

She half-looked at me again, and then shook her head slightly and pointed her gaze at the far corner. "Please, just - if you think of anything, don't hesitate. I don't know if you need permission for that kind of thing, but I'm giving it to you if you do."

I didn't know what to tell her. I didn't know if there was anything she could do. I was already stressed, and everything Mensah was saying was making me feel like my insides were melting, or turning into warm, writhing snakes. My performance reliability was all over the place, too, and had been since I found that stupid chip in my neck, which might at least marginally explain what happened next.

"Don't let them run the analysis on the module," I blurted.

Hey, murderbot? Hi, it's me, murderbot. What in the fuck are you doing?

Mensah's expression went shocked, and then cautious. Yeah, me fucking too. "Why not?"

For some reason, I kept going. It felt something like falling off the side of a cliff and hitting every rock on the way down. (That had happened to me before.) "Because I lied. It's not broken."

Her eyes widened. "You're compromised?"

"I'm hacked. My governor module isn't engaged." Sure, this might as well happen. Apparently I had lost the ability to keep my mouth shut literally at all, about anything, ever.

She stared at me for a second, and then must have remembered she said she wouldn't and looked away again. Surprising, considering I just told her that there was literally nothing stopping me from killing or otherwise hurting her if I wanted. "The DeltFall units—”

"It hasn't been engaged for approximately 35000 standard hours."

Mensah was a smart human, but it still took her a few seconds to work out the numbers. I watched her expression change as she did it. "You've been a rogue unit for four years?"

That depended on what planet you were nearest to, but in standard Earth years, that was correct, and I didn't have the capacity to be pedantic about it.

"I don't know if it counts as being rogue if you don't go around killing people for no reason."

Well, maybe I could still be a little pedantic.

[multiplefandomsblog]

Fuyuhiko and Kokichi’s reaction to their s/o replacing them with a plushy

request; Rantaro, Fuyuhiko and Kokichi’s reaction to their s/o giving them almost 0 attention because they’re giving all their love to a plushy? Lol no cuddles for them- plushy’s too cute

warnings; fluff, lots of cussing, unedited, gender-neutral reader, implied human strangulation, strangulation of a stuffed animal, stuffed animals, jealousy?? minor neglecting, comfortyyyy, angst but like, so little angst, hard days at work :(

note; i didn’t do Rantaro’s because i did something similar, right here! also, sorry for making fuyuhiko’s so much longer— i don’t even know why i wrote that much, i have no reasoning-

Kokichi Ouma

“S/oooooo~? I’m cold, can we cuddle-?” Bright purple eyes widened, and a look of pure unfiltered betrayal dawned over his face, it almost looked as if you had poured the expression over his face. His eyes darted towards the plushy in betrayal; his expression almost convinced you that you had accidentally cheated on him. “K-Kokichi? What’s-” You were suddenly very rudely interrupted by his obnoxious shriek of horror—

“UWAAAAAAH! You’re-!” He snortled like a child, inhaling in all his snot loudly and grossly before screaming, “So! Mean!” Wincing at the loud and exaggerated sobbing, you frowned at him, only bringing the plushy closer to your chest. “You can’t guilt me into hugging you instead, Kokichi- Hey— Hey! Stop!” Before you could finish your sentence, Kokichi had pounced on you, his devastated expression from earlier long gone, as now his eyes shone pure rage. 

He was strangling the fucking stuffed animal.

Kokichi may be the hugest liar you will ever meet in the world, but he keeps to his word, that he’ll do anything for love. Even strangling someone.

And in this case, the ‘someone’ was a lifeless stuffed animal.

“K-Kokichi! You fucking dumbass— What do you think that’ll even do!? Kill it!?” You cried out, straining as you tried to yank the plushy away from his iron grip. “Stuffed animals can’t breathe!” Kokichi replied in between grunts, white knuckles gripping the plushy tight around its.. its neck. “Not after this, it won’t!” Cackling victoriously, the gremlin finally managed to pull the plushy away from, and the extraordinary momentum had thrown it across the room. 

“Kokichi! That was my favourite-” Your words had been taken away from you as Kokichi suddenly jumped you, tackling you to your bed as he wrapped his arms and legs around you. “I thought I was your favourite..” His voice was soft, the innocent, puppy-dog tone almost had you cave in. Almost.

“Kokichi…” You whined, “I want my plushy back; you’re too heavy.” Kokichi pinched your back, prompting a squeal out of you, “I’m not heavy, you meanie!” You squirmed, sitting up with the boy clinging to you on your lap. “You didn’t have to pinch me, you ass.” Mumbling, you shuffled up, chest feeling as if it had been crushed by the boy sticking to you. 

Kokichi didn’t reply to your insult, instead, shifting closer to you before stilling, almost like dried clay. “Nishishi! Now you’re all mine!” You stifled a smile, “What? Were you jealous of a plushy?” Kokichi shook his head, grin wide and bright as always, “Of course not! It never had a chance against me so I wasn’t even a little worried!” That was a lie. He was scared if you had gotten too attached to the plushy, you’d rather the plushy’s hugs instead of his—eventually, never hugging him again. Kokichi shuddered at the thought.

“I don’t know, the plushy doesn’t—you know—pinch me so..” Kokichi gripped tighter onto you, making sure to prevent your leave before sighing dramatically, “Fine, I’m sorry, okay? Now just promise to always hug me instead of that stupid pillow, kay?” Kokichi spoke in an annoyingly cute voice— but despite being shrill to your ears, you couldn’t help but melt as you heard the real meaning to it. The meaning behind his little act. In a frustratingly teasing voice, you tantalized him. “So you were jealous.”

Kokichi snorted dismissively, grip not loosening, “Nishishi! Why would I be jealous of a plushy? You’re lucky to even be touching an Ultimate Supreme Leader!” It was ironic, seeing as how you hadn’t even been hugging him back, let alone touching him—to which he had painfully noticed, and disliked. Yet he was acting like you were the one who had been strangling a toy for him.

His grin faltered, and you could catch the almost unnoticeable flash of jealousy that shone in his purple eyes. But despite the small tell, you let him win this round, you neglected him enough. you neglected him for less than a minute before he pounced on you, mans was insane.

Fuyuhiko Kuzuryuu

Fuyuhiko had just gotten back from a rough day at work, he sighed as he opened the door, he was extremely exhausted from doing— what was he doing? Well, he’s a Yakuza, that’s a secret. “S/o, I’m home..!” His voice sounded drained, though relieved, he was finally home and all he wanted was to cuddle you— Ah. But it seems you’ve chosen a plushie over a real-life man. 

Fuyuhiko’s eye fell on the sight of you, snuggling a plushie whilst you watched a movie. He pouted, he was always the one you snuggled. Betrayal ran through his veins; what had changed? Did you not love him anymore?

No, I’m kidding; he’s just being a drama queen.

Despite his sulky demeanour, he refused to beg for your attention just so he could get your.. your soft and warm cuddles... that make him feel safe no matter where he was.

... Well, he tried to refuse. It seems, even Yakuza bosses couldn’t refuse the uncontrollable want to be in your arms. Could you blame him? The man just wanted to be held by his partner. 

He wasn’t going to admit that though. The boss baby had too much pride to demand cuddles, unlike Kokichi-

So he decided, you were going to be given the silent treatment. Yes, Fuyuhiko Kuzuryuu, the ultimate Yakuza boss was planning to give you the silent treatment(and fail). It didn’t seem like he needed to anyway, you had been so invested in the movie you didn’t even hear him come in, nor did you greet him like you usually did. Sheeesh, that one must have hurt.

Fuyuhiko furrowed his brow and waited for you to notice him, dropping his shoes on the ground twice. It wasn’t until he started jangling his keys aggressively and slapping his bag against the counter, did you actually notice his presence. After you finally did, you spared him a meek hand wave before bringing the same arm back around your plush tightly. “Oh. Hey, Fuyu.” 

You didn’t even turn your head to look at him.

He simply stared at you, you who had just snuggled closer to your plushy— were.. were you giving it head pats!? His frown deepened, you were just doing it on purpose at this point. 

Scoffing, he sat next to your spot on the couch, glaring daggers into the plushy as you seemed distracted with the TV in front of you. He felt his heart sink as you didn’t cuddle into his side like you usually did. Crossing his arms over his chest, he leaned into the armrest opposite to you, feigning a grudge. 

He couldn’t even get comfortable on the armrest, he kept shifting every 5 seconds just to get your attention and because he really couldn’t seem to get comfortable on the chair. Fuyuhiko watched you with wide, astounded eyes as you only seemed to stuff your face in the plushy. And yup, you guessed it, he caved in. “Tch... if you’re mad at me for something, can you just tell me what I did wrong? This... plushy bull crap is irritating me.” You turned your head to finally look at him in surprise, he thought you were mad at him?

“Huh?” You perked your head up from the plushy, attention completely on him now. He felt embarrassment wash over his entire body; had you not been doing it on purpose?

“N-nothing- whatever, it’s nothing.” Fuyuhiko’s face flushed, your sudden attention on him; he hadn’t gotten used to it.

Drilling your eyes into him, you sent him an unconvinced look, but shrugged anyway— He’s a grown-ass man, if he wanted cuddles, he can ask for them. 

Fuyuhiko sulked as he watched you turn away, it obviously wasn’t nothing. You turned your head back at him as you heard him mumble something. Looking at him with a feigned-confused expression, you cocked your head to the side. “What’d you say?” 

He flushed and looked away, unconsciously scooting towards you, “I- You can cuddle me instead of that pillow, if you want or whatever. It doesn’t matter.” He murmured, moving to stand up. “Never mind.” You grinned at his brooding demeanour, yanking his hand back onto you and throwing the plush somewhere, “Okay, okay! I was just joking with you, I know how much you want my hugs.” 

He fell with an ‘oomph’ against your body, face blank as his mind didn’t seem to register what had happened yet. 

Ohh, but the moment he felt the warmth spread throughout his body, he let out a sigh of relief. “You’re such a cute fucking asshole.” You laughed at his somewhat compliment, somewhat insult, letting him wrap his arms around you tight. You could feel his body relaxing on top of you, and in response, your own shoulders dropped in relaxation. ‘Yessss..! This was the shit.’ Fuyuhiko’s bad day at work had been long forgotten, as his mind was currently occupied with running thoughts of you.