#Introvert tips

[glowettee]

✧・゜ how to radiate confidence in social situations (even when you're screaming inside) ゜✧:・゜✧

hey lovelies! ✧

let's be honest - we've all been there. standing in a room full of people, smile plastered on, while our internal monologue is having a complete meltdown. that was literally me last weekend at this networking event where i knew absolutely no one and spent the first 15 minutes hiding in the bathroom (classic me behavior).

but over time i've collected some little tricks that help me appear confident even when my insides are doing gymnastics. thought i'd share in case any of you are fellow social anxiety girlies too!

⋆.ೃ࿔:･ the body language hack ･:࿔ೃ.⋆

our bodies can actually trick our minds into feeling confident. before entering any intimidating social situation, i find a private spot (usually the bathroom, let's be real) and stand in a "power pose" for two minutes. arms on hips, shoulders back, chin up. it feels silly but it genuinely changes my nervous system.

another tiny thing: keep your hands visible, not crossed or hidden in pockets. something about this signals confidence to others and eventually to yourself.

⋆.ೃ࿔:･ prepare your conversation toolkit ･:࿔ೃ.⋆

nothing makes me panic more than awkward silence, so i always have a mental list of conversation starters ready. not just "what do you do?" but questions that actually lead somewhere interesting:

"what's been keeping you busy outside of work lately?"

"have you read/watched anything good recently?"

"what's something you're looking forward to this year?"

the secret is asking questions that you genuinely want to hear answers to. people can sense authentic curiosity, and it takes pressure off you to be "interesting" when you're focused on being interested.

⋆.ೃ࿔:･ the "i belong here" mindset shift ･:࿔ೃ.⋆

this one changed everything for me. i used to walk into rooms thinking "i hope they like me" which immediately put me in a position of seeking approval. now i try to shift to "i wonder if i'll like them."

it's such a subtle change but it puts you in the position of the observer rather than the observed. suddenly you're not auditioning for acceptance - you're just seeing if this person/group is your vibe.

⋆.ೃ࿔:･ embrace the awkward ･:࿔ೃ.⋆

the biggest confidence killer is trying to be perfect. there's actually something magnetic about someone who can laugh at themselves when they trip over a word or spill their drink.

i've started just naming the awkwardness when it happens: "well that came out completely wrong, let me try again!" people actually connect more with your humanity than your perfection.

⋆.ೃ࿔:･ the 5-second reset ･:࿔ೃ.⋆

when i feel myself spiraling into overthinking, i use this tiny reset: i take a deep breath, count to 5, and remind myself that most people are too worried about themselves to be analyzing me.

seriously, the same insecurity that makes you worry about what others think is the exact thing that prevents others from thinking about you as much as you fear!

⋆.ೃ࿔:･ aftercare is essential ･:࿔ೃ.⋆

confidence isn't just about how you act in the moment - it's also about how you treat yourself after. i used to dissect every interaction, cringing at everything i said.

now i have a rule: no social autopsies. instead, i celebrate that i showed up at all. sometimes i'll even buy myself a little treat on the way home as a "well done for being brave" gift.

remember, true confidence isn't the absence of fear - it's just the decision that something else is more important than that fear. and with practice, those screaming-inside moments get quieter and less frequent.

what about you? any confidence hacks that help you in social situations?

xoxo, mindy 🤍

[rolluptheclouds]

I have photo albums on my (Android) phone for when I'm going to meet family that May Not Talk Much But Respond to Visuals.

Last 14 Days: An auto-album of screenshots and photos from the last 2 weeks. I figure the screenshots are also an indicator of things I have looked at and found interesting. I also have other uses for this album - such as ideas on things to post on IG, or to share in my group chats.

People Pics: An auto-album of photos I took but also saved from WhatsApp and Telegram. They aren't always pics of people, but they tend to be. I also find this useful as an indicator of things that have been happening. (The blurred tile below is just a pic of me filling my plate with cake, taken by my SO!)

(Yep, the text screenshot in the "Left 14 days" album is one of the very post I'm reblogging here heehee.)

Oh, I also mentally prepare some points if I'm meeting friends that I see on a monthly/two-month basis (because I am a Low Social Energy Adult i.e. introvert). Though it's not to make conversation smoother - it's more as I want to make sure I remember to tell them any Important Updates or Hilarious Story I Really Must Share.

I'm coming to realize how vital it is to keep a running list of shit you did in the past few weeks so that you can participate in small talk. It's literally not anything to do with them being interesting at all it's just having Something to say to give people even the barest thing to hold on to. It's so you don't get into the "what have you been up to" "nothing much what about you" "yeah same" trap. Literally just say something.

What have you been up to? Um well it's getting warmer so I've been having to brush my cat every day.

Like no it's not that interesting of a thing to say. But now they can respond to it. They could say, man yeah it really is heating up, I've been trying to think of things to do inside more often. Or, oh you have a cat? What's their name?

Like. It's Something. All you need is Something. And if you're like me and your brain immediately goes blank upon entering small talk then keeping a list will help you remember things to say.

[joitotheworldstuff]

Introvert's Guide to Friendship: Finding Friends Who Respect Your Space

Friendship is a beautiful part of life, but for introverts, it can be a tricky balance between socializing and maintaining personal space. Introverts tend to recharge in solitude, and sometimes, traditional forms of friendship can feel draining. The good news is that you can still form meaningful friendships that honor your need for space and quiet moments. Here’s how to cultivate relationships…

[nadinenc]

How to make friends

How to make friends, when you move to a different area or in general:

Find a group of crows that live nearby

Show them kindness: feed them regularly, help them out when you can, respect them

The crows will remember your kindness, they will come up to you and maybe even bring you stuff..

You look super cool to other people now, I mean, you've got your army of crows when you go outside. They will come up to you and you don't have to go up to them!

[mentalbloodbrainbarriergoogle]

Introvert tips

[study-diaries]

Introduction :)

I know I'm doing this kinda late but it's fine, let's start. Generally I'm a very boring person so anyways xD

About myself:

Isabelle

She/Her

17

English Major

INFP-T

Hobbies:

Reading

Writing

Theatre

Art

Code

Interests:

Literature. Books. Poetry. Quotes. Languages. Miraculous. TV shows (only some). Classics. Jewelry (only black). Nature. Coffee. Photography. Journaling. Cats. Roses. Fan fiction.

Reason for this blog?

I needed motivation to study, and it looked like a good way to monitor my day-to-day progress, hence the name "study-diaries". No promises about being consistent T-T

What can you find here?

Study tips, study progress, techniques, ranting, mental health reminders, books, languages, quotes, motivation etc etc... In short, anything related to studying, languages, books and literature, mental health and self-care.

Note: Whatever pictures I use are not mine unless I specify that they are mine! Most of them are from Pinterest and credits go to their original owner.

[futurebird]

This is awesome. I've been working on something similar and I'm going to link to these at the end. You can find the basic social guides I wrote for myself here:

How to show emotions

Part II

How to show happiness

big smile

eyes going wide

corners of the mouth going up

showing teeth

squealing

speaking rapidly

laugh lines appearing

smiling

being animated

direct eye contact

How to show sadness

shoulders slumped

looking down

turning head away

frowning

not seeing properly anymore

slow movements

corners of the mouth going downwards

quivering lips

eyes filled with tears

running nose

breathing fitfully

How to show disgust

wrinkled nose

gagging

eyes narrowing

no eye contact

upper lip pulled up

How to show fear

wide eyes

heart pounding

feeling paralyzed

shaking / clammy hands

trying to close eyes

open mouth

heavy breathing

cold and clammy hands

clenched hands

tensing up

eyesbrows going together

trying to look for an exit

How to show surprise

raised eyebrows

jaw going slack

open mouth

eyes widening

gasp

How to show frustration

groaning

rolling eyes

throwing arms in the air

pacing up and down

huffing

tapping your foot

tapping your fingers

crossing your arms

stomping

checking watch

More: Part I + Part III

If you like my blog and want to support me, you can buy me a coffee or become a member! And check out my Instagram! 🥰

[liftingtheirspirits]

l've been an owner of silence for a few years now. I still work on it quite a bit.

It’s not uncommon that’s I make others feel uncomfortable while I collect my bearings before speaking, it’s become somewhat of a trademark in my personality. As a young adult working in medicine, I learned there are very few instances outside of emergencies where responding quickly and off the cuff are required.

Own the silence.

Become comfortable with other people's discomfort when left alone for a moment while you steep in consideration.

Allow a moment of calm before you respond with a thoughtful, genuine, and well considered response.

It's not just a right that's afforded to you, it's a critical element of our ability to provide informed responses.

Listen > Receive > Internalize > Consider > Formulate > Articulate your response.

I recently watched a wonderful description of some of Nietsche's most profound lessons by Psyphoria (credit for their inspiration) on YouTube and this was my first of many takeaways to sit with, meditate on, and internalize.

Take good care of yourself and we'll talk again soon,

JR

[technicallywrite]

Hi! Sorry for reaching out anonymously, but I saw you were going to meet Jemma Redgrave at the weekend and wondered if you'd be willing to answer some questions, please?

I have the opportunity to go and I'd love to get her autograph. However, I'm super anxious about the whole thing as I've never been to a con, but I don't want my anxiety and autism to hold me back. I just wondered how it works, like the rough layout of a con, how to/what you'd say to get an autograph etc.

Any details/advice you could share would be much appreciated! Thank you so much!

Hi! No need to apologize, I totally understand and I’m happy to help. This is going to be a bit long, I hope it’s not too much but it’s what I would have liked to know before my first con.

First I’ll say there’s a small group of us who are fans of Jemma’s (and Doctor Who in general) who are going to be meeting up there; we’re all various flavors of queer and neurodivergent and we like to go up to talk to guests like Jemma in pairs or trios because it’s less intimidating when you’re not alone. If you’re by yourself at the con you’re very welcome to join us for the autographs etc to try that out, if you’d like. But no pressure.

I’ve only been to a handful of cons and the layout seems to depend a lot on the size; but if this one is like megacon live, then you can expect there will be a main convention hall where most of the action is happening (celebrity panels will usually be in separate rooms in the convention center). A lot of the main hall will be dedicated to merchandise vendors and artists’ stalls; sometimes there are a few stages for minor celebrities and people putting on demonstrations; then there will be one or more rows of tables where the guests do autographs, and typically another area nearby with partitions set up where they take the professional photos.

For the autographs, there’s usually a small queuing area set up in front of each guest table. Really famous guests have bigger ones and can have massive queues that go for hours (I don’t like those). Up to now Jemma has been more low profile and her queues have been pretty short, but I don’t know if that will have gone up because of the new episodes; we’ll see.

Usually you have to have a ticket in advance, for the autographs, though some will let you buy at the table (plan to have both cash and electronic payment just in case). Each guest has a handler, meaning a staff person who takes care of checking/selling tickets, selling additional photo printouts etc. They will usually do that with you while the previous person is talking to the guest.

When it’s your turn, you just move over to the guest, say hi, say your name and show them what you’d like to have signed. (Sometimes the handler will ask your name first and write it down on a post-it note for the guest, to make sure they spell it right)

This is your opportunity to talk to the guest if you want to introduce yourself, maybe say a little about why their character(s) is so meaningful to you, but you don’t have to; some people are too nervous to talk and that’s okay.

If the queue is short, it’s okay to chat for a bit, and some guests are very happy to have a conversation. If there’s a long queue then people try to move on more quickly so everyone can get a chance to meet the guest and get their autograph.

Jemma specifically is a really wonderful con guest, in my (limited) experience. She’s very soft-spoken in person; she comes off a bit reserved (like shy, not stand-off ish) but warm, and you can tell she really cares. If you choose to share something about yourself, she will listen carefully. I’ve seen her be very encouraging and comforting when someone is having a hard time because of nerves or having trouble verbalizing things. I think she has quite a lot of experience with autistic fans.

Once they’ve finished signing your items etc the guest will wrap up the conversation by wishing you well or something like that; that’s your cue to say thank you and goodbye and let the next person take their turn.

At that point you might feel some strong emotions (like omg I can’t believe I talked to Jemmaaaaaa 😆) so it can be good to walk off somewhere quiet, depending on how crowded the area is or not. Those of us who are in a group will usually cluster nearby and just gush a bit to each other. Some need to be alone and have quiet. My point is, plan to give yourself a bit of time and space to process your feelings.

If you see us, you’re welcome to join and do the same! I find it a really nice part of the con experience to be able to express some of the feelings that build up while you talk to a guest. Speaking for myself, during that part I try very hard to control my emotions, and so it’s nice to let that out a bit right after, with people you know are feeling the same way and won’t judge.

Going to a con all by yourself can feel a bit isolating if you’re not the type to chat up random strangers (and let’s be honest, who on here is), so it’s really nice if you can find some like minded people to meet up with, even for a short while.

Ok that’s all I can think of right now, I hope this helps, and don’t hesitate to ask if you have any other questions. I hope you have a wonderful experience at the con!

PS: Look at how adorable she is 🥰

(The book is a fan-bound volume of my Osgate fanfic)

[ipessimist1]

Haiku

Sometimes the best way to love is to understand your partner's silence

6:29 PM 10/10/24

[rikie-purple]

Best time to listen to Sweden's Sauna song is in the sauna on loud speakers so you can have the space for yourself

[sunnyday102]

Why r people so scary like hi can we have a non awkward conversation sorry if I'm weird that's just how my brains wired oh okay I'll stop talking about my rainbow Legos now *dies*

[stillwanderingflame]

My therapist said something recently that really stuck with me. She said she usually shares it in relation to grief, but it can work for other situations.

"You need to find ways to make your life bigger. We can't make the pain any smaller, but we can make the box of your life bigger so the pain doesn't feel like it's taking up all the space."

I am trying, but god am I tired. Throwing my introverted ass into all these new social activities has given me something to look forward to, which seems to be helping, but the cost... 🫠

[saisons-en-enfer]

The bizarre hamster wheel of being introverted by nature but finding the most joy in interactions with people

[individualist-infp]

Hi i'm stuck between infp and enfp and I wanted ur op on what u think I am? I'm actually kind of shy/quiet/awkward in social situations, but I think it's because I have some social anxiety? Either way, I always have a natural urge/tendency to be around people and try exciting things. I have a lot to say and feel like I only hold back because of my anxiety/fear. In truth, I'm actually quite spontaneous but also deep/internally focused at times. Do u think I might be an infp or enfp??

From that information I can't tell if you are an enfp, infp or other type. First of all you need to know if you are an introvert or an extrovert. There are extroverts who can have social anxiety or be shy and introverts who can be social. There's the stereotype that extroverts equal party animals or people with 100 friends that always have to be socializing, or that being an introvert equals shyness. Those are just confusing stereotypes.

The first letter of a physchological type is I or E , which stands for our primary attitude: Extraversion or Introversion.

Extroverts: emphasize the influence of outward circumstances. They interact with most situations in terms of the satisfactions possible to them—even if those satisfactions have no immediate relationship to their Introverted reflections.

Extraverts are stimulated by the claims, pleasures, and obligations of the outer world. The people, things, and events that constitute the external world.

Do you seek and collect energy from the world outside?

Are you energized by the outside world of people, objects, experiences, etc?

Do you act before reflecting?

Are you influenced by and gauge your worth by the expectations and attention of others?

Are you outgoing and highly expressive, and do you fail to recognize your own needs?

Are you straighforward, understandable, accesible?

Introverts: emphasize the inner viewpoint. They are most comfortable in situations that allow for sustained reflection and a certain amount of privacy. If the satisfactions possible in a situation aren’t well enough related to their needs, they may carve out a space for themselves that allows them to participate on their own terms.

Do you consider your own viewpoint the arbiter of reality and make decisions based on it?

Do you focus on and draw sustenance from a vivid and rich inner world of thoughts, ideas, feelings, impressions, facts?

Do you reflect before you act?

Do you defend yourself against the expectations of others?

Are you self-aware, sometimes passionately intense, but may not realize the effect you have on others?

The key here is to reflect on yourself and think were do you draw sustenance, the inside world or the external world? Extroverts can be reflective at times when they use their introvert functions but they still have the preference for extraversion.

______________________________________________________________

Also, you need to take into account your cognitive functions to figure out your type accurately. There are 4 functions in each stack of each type, their order vary depending of the type.

It's not the same to have Fi in your dominant function or as the auxiliary function, the dynamic changes. When an INFP is presented with a new situation for example, he or she first needs to reflect on personal feelings or how she feels about the situation. If it aligns with her personal values she then goes for it. On the contrary an ENFP may easily jump to the new experience and seeks to exploit it's potential, and then reflects and internalizes feelings.

INFP: Internalizes feelings, then is open to new experiences.

ENFP: Experiences, then internalizes feelings.

INFP:

(Fi) Introverted Feeling

(Ne) Extraverted Intuition

(Si) Introverted Sensing

(Te) Extraverted Thinking

ENFP:

(Ne) Extraverted Intuition

(Fi) Introverted Feeling

(Te) Extraverted Thinking

(Si) Introverted Sensing

First of all, there are the perceiving functions, which can be iNtuitive (N) or Sensation (S). We use those functions to perceive.

Types who prefer Sensation generally focus on direct sensory experience. They’re aware of appearances, facts, and details, and their surroundings have a direct impact on them.

Types who prefer Intuition generally ignore the material surface of things and consider the larger picture. They’re interested in meaning and future possibility, not facts and details. Intuitives may be so focused on a situation’s potential that they overlook present obstacles. They have great interest in symbols and the unseen, it's natural for them to read between the lines, they see what's behind the physical. Ex: When watching a movie an intutive interprets an old and decrepit manor where a tragic character lives like his underworld, a place of suffering and entrapment. A sensor just sees it as a manor, nothing more.

Then, there are the judging functions: Thinking (T) and Feeling (F). Judging functions prompt us to note how things usually happen and to organize our behaviors accordingly. This is why Thinking and Feeling are considered rational functions. Rational behavior is always based on predictability—things we know to be true because they happen regularly in the same way.

When we use Thinking, we organize our behaviors in terms of general, impersonal predictability: rules, laws, principles, logical or numerical sequence, definition, hierarchy, and so forth.

 When we use Feeling, we organize our behaviors in terms of specific, personal criteria: the signs and rituals that convey our shared beliefs, values, moral sensibilities, identification with others, and social relationships.

Lastly, there are the Perceivers (P) or Judgers (J). These do not represent cognitive functions, but preferences.

As the title suggests, those with a J preference pair like to “judge” life’s outcomes. They’re careful calibrators and enjoy setting schedules and making plans. They prefer to know what comes next and like to have a sense of control over their surroundings. Overall, they like things the way they are and aren’t always open to change.

Perceivers see life as a spontaneous opportunity.Those with a P on their personality results are most likely seen as creative, curious, and open-minded. They can easily adapt to almost any situation and prefer flexible schedules. All in all, they come across as procrastinators with an outgoing approach on life.

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I hope I haven't confused you with all of this information. This is the basics of the different type of functions and the difference between introversion and extraversion. There's a lot more to know with the functions, but I didn't wanted to overwhelm you. If you have more questions feel free to send me more messages. 😊 On my taglist I have many post on cognitive functions and typing tips, you can check them out.

I recommend you this test to figure out your type with precision:

https://www.shambhala.com/media/wysiwyg/Personality%20Type_Psychological%20Test.pdf

[mysicklove]

i saw this tiktok where someone was basically bashing a “standard american” barista for forcing small talk bc they only want tips, but i do something similar (but not forced) and it’s not for tips it’s bc i genuinely like talking to people 😔😔