#It's 3 am and I have too much free time atm

[jokerownsmysoul]

picrew.

Thank you so much @greghouse for tagging me! 🥺 I've to admit that making these picrew made me yearn a whole lot, what a literal dream to cook for him and have a quiet dinner over his apt. that's one of my fave things 🤧🙈 best picrew ever, I smiled like a silly girl while making these from start to finish 😂😭🥲💙

The options are so lovely that I played around a little bit, I enjoyed it way too much 🙈🥺💙

I tag: @ajokeformur-ray @daincrediblegg @daydreamhustler @your-truly-the-whale and whoever wants to do it! 🧸🌷No pressure as always 🤗

[callilouv]

god, a botw vid just came up on my yt recc and suddenly i am taken back to when id spend hours on the game just doing quests, runnning around, and enjoying everything,,,,,,,,

[python333]

hi! i’m not sure if you’re taking requests atm but if you aren’t feel free to ignore this!

anyways, i was thinking what would it be like if you were back on base and did something nice for everyone and made their fave coffee/tea while you’re all relaxing after a long mission? like how would the 141 react and what would you make for them?

that’s all but i hope you have a great day and i absolutely love your writings!! they seriously are so detailed and amazing, you do a beautiful job w each one💌

unwind — python333

— — — —

synopsis the 141 + you are back from a super long mission and u make them their fave coffee/tea!!

relationships platonic!taskforce 141 & gn!reader.

word count 3.6k

characters cap. price, soap, ghost, gaz.

warnings 2nd person pov [you/yours/yourself], usage of c/n [code name/call sign], gaz being a little shit.

note thank you so much for the req!! i am taking them right now, but apologies if i post them 2+ days after i get them, my writers block is slowly creeping back into my mind and im fighting it off the best i can! also, thank you for the compliments :3 ilysm youre too nice!! i saw ur reblog of bedbound too and i was so sjdfksdfks!! hope u have a good day too and hope you enjoy this fic, it's all fluff and way too in depth descriptions of making tea/coffee!!

As soon as the electric kettle clicks, signaling to you that the water inside of it has been boiled, you unplug it and pour the water into a mug you’d pulled from the cabinets. It still surprised you that there were any mugs left, with how many people kept stealing to put on their desk to hold pencils—by people, you mean Soap, and only Soap—but you weren’t complaining. 

You set the kettle back down once the mug is filled up just an inch below the brim and grab the tea bag you’d grabbed earlier, wrapping the string around the handle of the mug a few times before putting the bag itself into the water. Almost immediately, you see small tendrils of dark brown flow out from the drowned tea bag into the originally clear water. 

As that happens, you walk the small few steps over to the small fridge from the kettle and open it, grabbing the small carton of cream and closing the fridge shut. You walk back over to the mug and unscrew the cap of the carton, pouring some cream into the mug, adding a half inch of height to the liquid already in the mug before screwing the cap back on and setting the carton down.

You don’t bother to grab a spoon and mix anything yet, instead reaching over to the small terracotta container beside the coffee machine that contained sugar, and taking off the lid. 

You think for a moment if you should grab a spoon for this, but ultimately decide against it, instead just tipping the container over the mug and letting what you hope is two teaspoons of sugar spill over into the mug.

Afterwards, you put the lid back on the container holding the sugar and set it back next to the coffee machine, and grab the cream to put back into the fridge. 

Once the cream’s been put back, you open the drawers in the counter and grab a small spoon, one that’s just tall enough that it won’t be fully submerged in the tea, and put it into the mug.

You close the drawer and give the tea a few stirs before picking up the mug, being careful of the scalding heat and holding it solely by its handle. You carefully walk out of the snack bar extension of the kitchen and head towards Price’s office. 

After a year or two of working with him, you’ve learned a lot about his tea preferences—he likes Yorkshire tea, the original one, not the gold. He only likes cream and sugar in his coffee, just to make it smoother and make it a bit sweeter, but doesn’t like it too sweet.

You vaguely remember him telling you he’d never had honey or any other sweeteners besides a bit of sugar in his tea, and remember more vividly you thinking, God, that’s such an old person thing to say, but not saying it out loud. 

Once you’ve reached his office, you knock a few times and Price’s tired voice calls out, “Come in!” 

You open the door, careful to keep the mug from spilling in your hands, and walk in, closing the door behind you. Price looks up from his computer, presumably writing a report on the mission you’d all just come back from an hour or two ago, and offers a small smile when he sees you. He’s about to say something before he catches sight of the mug in your hands. 

“Did you…” He doesn’t finish his question, but you know what he was about to ask, and you nod in response. 

“If it’s too sugary let me know,” You tell him, setting the mug down a safe distance away from his computer, “I can remake it.” 

“I won’t make you remake it,” Price looks at you, almost offended, “You didn’t have to make me anything in the first place, but thank you, I really appreciate it.” 

“No problem,” You hum, walking away, saying over your shoulder, “Hope you like it.” 

You open the door without another word and walk out, closing it behind you, heading right back to the snack bar. Now for Soap. 

Soap typically preferred coffee to tea, despite tea’s popularity in Scotland. He’d told you that he really couldn’t taste the difference between different coffee blends, but upon hearing that there was a Scottish blend, he declared he’d only drink that one, because of course he did. 

He pretended he could tell if the coffee he was drinking was of that Scottish blend, but you knew he couldn’t. How did you know? You’d only ever given him Scottish roast once. Every other time since then, it’s been French roast. 

He’s never really used a coffee machine for himself, going to cafes or coffee shops most of the time for coffee, keeping his usual coffee order written in his notes app because he couldn’t remember it for the life of him.

He’d sometimes modify his order if certain coffee shops didn’t do certain things that he usually got, but his order stays mostly the same every time he gets coffee. Medium (or grande, if he’s at Starbucks) latte with a double shot of espresso. 

Typically, he’d get some shortbread too, but you didn’t really have any in the base, so he’d have to do without it today. 

Once you enter the snack bar, you grab another mug from the cabinets above the counter and place it under the coffee machine. You open the cabinets right by the ones that contained the mugs and grab a bag of ground French roast, pulling it out and putting it on the counter. 

You open it up and find that there’s conveniently already a small cup in there to scoop the coffee grounds up, and use your free hand to grab a new coffee filter from the same cabinets you got the coffee grounds from, swiftly putting it into the machine. 

You use your other hand to scoop up some coffee grounds and put them into the filter, closing the top of the coffee machine afterwards and turning on the machine. You’re grateful there’s more options listed on the small digital screen that lights up on the machine than just plain black coffee, not really in the mood to try and steam milk right now.

You tap on the ‘latte’ option and watch as the screen changes and hear the coffee machine start to whir. 

As it does that, you put away the coffee grounds and open up the cabinets that contained mugs once again, pulling out a small espresso glass and setting it onto the counter.

You wait patiently for the coffee to brew, and once you hear the small beep sound from the machine that signals that it’s done, you pull away the steaming hot coffee and set it down right next to the coffee machine. 

You quickly put the espresso glass under the machine and start it up again, this time tapping the ‘espresso shot’ option—surprised that’s even an option, honestly—and hearing the familiar whirring noise start up again. It doesn’t take nearly as long as brewing the latte did, the small beep coming much sooner than it did just a minute or two earlier, and you pull away the small espresso glass from the machine almost immediately after you hear it. 

You pause for a moment, looking at how much the latte part had filled up the mug, and look around for a moment before opening up the same drawer that contains the eating utensils and grabbing a straw, putting the straw in the still hot latte—is that a good idea? No. Did you do it anyway because you physically can’t think before you act? Absolutely—and taking a long sip of it.

You pull the straw out once the liquid in the mug is at a good inch below the brim and then pour in the espresso shot, setting the glass down after you do so.

You look around for a second for a trash bin and find one just a few steps away from you, quickly throwing out the straw you’d used and then walking back over to the empty espresso glass, picking it up and setting it down by the sink. God forbid we get a dishwasher in here or something, You think absentmindedly as you pick up the mug and carefully walk out of the snack bar with it, Would it hurt to at least get some dish soap in here or something? 

You make it out of the snack bar without burning your fingers and start the much longer walk to Soap’s sleeping quarters. You’d caught him walking out of his office in that direction earlier, so you can only assume that he’d gone there. 

Once you make it there, you knock on the door a few times and wait for Soap to call out to you and allow you to come in before twisting the door knob and opening the door. He’s laying on his back on his bed, thumb paused on his phone screen as he looks over at you as you enter. He notices the coffee and sits up a bit, grunting as he does. 

He wasn’t really as talkative after long missions like the one you’d all been on earlier—usually it took him a day or two to be more social and back to himself, so you didn’t take much offense to him not greeting you as loudly as he usually did. 

He nods at the coffee, “Is that for me?” 

“Mhm,” You hum, handing him the mug, “Be careful, it’s hot.” 

“Got it,” Soap carefully takes the mug into his hands, and softly blows on it before looking at you again and grinning at you, “Weel, thank ye for this. Ye really didnae hae tae.” 

“Price actually said the same thing,” You muse, almost to yourself, before speaking a little louder, “No problem.”

“Oh did he?” Soap asks, raising an eyebrow, before his expression shifts and he feigns confusion, “Wait, how come he got a drink afore me?”

“Because his office was closer to the snack bar,” You explain, crossing your arms. 

“… Nae, it’s definitely ‘cause ye hate me,” Soap disagrees, shaking his head in mock disappointment, “And tae think I thought we were friends.” 

“It is no— you know what?” You begin to argue, before sighing and rolling your eyes, “I do hate you, and we were never friends, you ungrateful piece of shit.” 

Soap laughs, quieter than he usually does but it’s still a genuine laugh. He looks down at the coffee again and back at you, before saying, “Thank ye. Again.” 

“No problem,” You replied, walking back towards the door and opening it, walking out of Soap’s sleeping quarters and closing the door behind you. Now for Ghost. 

Ghost typically liked tea more than coffee, but you think that’s just the British in him talking. Realistically, you could give him either or, and he’d say a polite ‘thank you’ and move on.

From years of being apart of the 141, any preferences or additives he liked to put in his tea or coffee slowly dissipated and instead he just drank either one plain. Which should make the tasks you’ve forced yourself to do today easier, but knowing you, you just couldn’t take the easy route with this. 

You remember a conversation with him that happened several months ago where you had been talking about your own tea and coffee preferences. Ghost had commented that he didn’t often put any additives in his own hot drinks anymore, but back before he’d joined the military, he liked to drink keemun tea occasionally with nutmeg in it. 

Keemun tea—which was fucking expensive by the way, costing around sixteen pounds for twenty tea bags in every store you could find them in—wasn’t too hard to find, so the next time you went on leave after that conversation, you’d bought a box of bags of keemun tea leaves and some ground nutmeg. 

You didn’t let Ghost know about it, and kind of forgot about it just a week after you bought it, but now the memory of you buying it and storing it in the snack bar behind a few other boxes of tea bags has resurfaced and it’s the only thing you think is appropriate to give Ghost at a time like this. 

You get back to the snack bar and almost robotically you pull a mug out from the cabinets above the counter and set it down on said counter, deciding to grab another one just so that you wouldn’t have to do it later, and setting that one down right next to the other. You open the cabinet beside that and move some of the boxes out of the way to find the keemun tea box in the very back, right where you last left it. 

You snatch it out of the cabinet and open it, pulling out a small packet and opening it up to pull out the tea bag inside. You go ahead and put the tea bag inside of the mug and put the tea box back in the cabinet, closing the small cabinet door afterwards.

You then grab the electric kettle that’s right by the sink and pop open the lid, putting it under the faucet and turning said faucet on, waiting until the water fills a quarter of the kettle. Once it does, you turn off the faucet and put the kettle down right by the outlet on the wall. 

You put the lid down and wait for it to click into place before you plug the kettle into the outlet and press the small button below the handle to turn it on, and listen as it starts to make a small whirring noise. You don’t waste too much time just standing there, waiting for the water to finish boiling, instead putting the other mug you’d pulled out from the cabinets under the coffee machine and turning it on. 

You tap on the ‘decaf flat white’ option and watch the digital screen change and another whirring sound starts up, now coming from the coffee machine.

You were starting to make Gaz’s while making Ghost’s drink because Gaz often made the mistake of drinking his coffee before it was cool enough to not burn his tongue, so if you made it earlier, it’d have more time to cool, and Gaz wouldn’t have to wait as long before drinking it, therefore solving the whole ‘burning-his-tongue-because-he’s-impatient’ problem he has. 

Gaz liked simple flat whites, and sure, he liked tea too, but nothing could top a good flat white for him. He’d get them anywhere and everywhere he can, and you honestly admire his dedication to getting a flat white everywhere he goes. 

The coffee machine finished up quickly, a small beep sounding from the machine as it stopped its whirring and a few more drops of coffee made it into the mug before it completely stopped. You pull the mug out from under the machine and set it aside for now, just waiting for the water to finish boiling in the kettle. 

Once the kettle clicks and the whirring from that machine stops, you unplug it and pour some water into the empty mug you’d picked out for Ghost, waiting until it’s filled up about a half inch below the brim of the mug before taking the kettle away from the mug and pouring the rest of the unused water into the sink. 

You set the kettle down beside the coffee machine where it belongs and check the drawer below the one that held the eating utensils, looking through some of the spices and drink additives in it before finally finding the ground nutmeg you needed. 

You unscrew the cap and tilt the small spice jar over the mug, letting some of the powder spill into the mug before tilting it back and screwing the cap back on. You put it back in its spot and close that drawer, now opening the drawer above it and grabbing a small spoon, closing that one after you’ve grabbed the spoon and putting the spoon into the mug to mix the spices in it around a bit. 

You leave Gaz’s mug on the counter, hoping that nobody steals it while you’re away, and instead pick up the mug meant for Ghost, carefully walking out of the snack bar with it. 

Ghost’s office is fairly far away, but you still manage to get there without burning your fingers or anything on the mug. You knock on the door a few times and wait for Ghost to call out permission for you to come in before you open the door and walk in. 

Ghost immediately looks over at you and spots the mug in your hand, but ignores it for now, instead opting to ask, “Did you need something, [c/n]?” 

“Not really,” You shrugged the best you could while holding scalding hot tea, “Just needed to give you this.” 

You set the mug down on Ghost’s desk before he can say another word, and watch as he eyes the mug with curiosity and confusion. 

“What’s this?” He asks, carefully picking up the mug, holding the top up to his nose to smell it. Before you can answer his question, you see his eyes widen and he questions a little louder, “Is this… keemun? With nutmeg?” 

“You can tell just from the smell?” You ask, mildly impressed, watching as Ghost’s gaze turns into one more in awe of the mug. 

“Yes, I can,” He mumbles, smelling the brim of the mug again, before looking over at you, “How did you know I liked keemun with nutmeg in it?” 

“You told me about it, like, a few months ago. Six months ago, maybe? I dunno.” 

“How do you remember a conversation from six months ago?”

“It was an important conversation, I guess?” You shrug, crossing your arms. 

You watch in silence as Ghost eyes the tea and you take that as your sign to leave, walking towards the door, stopping right in front of it to twist the knob to open it before you’re interrupted by Ghost. 

“Wait—” You turn your head and look at him over your shoulder, and immediately upon seeing his face, you think, oh my God is he tearing up? “Thank you, [c/n]. I really appreciate it.” 

You offer a small smile and reply, “Yeah, no problem. Enjoy your tea.” 

You open the door without another word and close it behind you, taking a deep breath before continuing down the hall back to the snack bar. 

You’re relieved when you get there and see the mug, still steaming a bit, still on the counter. You quickly walk over to it and pick it up, walking right back out the door with it and heading straight for Gaz’s sleeping quarters. You remember him being so tired from the mission—you don’t know whether to hope he’s asleep and getting some rest, or to hope that he’s awake so you can properly hand him his coffee. 

Once you make it to his sleeping quarters, you knock on the door, and there’s no response for a few moments, making you think he might actually be asleep, but then you hear Gaz’s drowsy voice call out, “You can come in!” 

You open the door and see him rubbing the sleep from his eyes and sitting up on his bed, looking over at you. His lips twitch up into a small smile once he sees you and he lets his hand drop into his lap. 

“Hey, [c/n].” He looks over at the mug you’ve brought with you, before raising an eyebrow, “You brought something for me?” 

“Very bold of you to assume it’s for you,” You close the door behind you and walk closer to him, “But yes, it is.” 

Gaz perks up a bit at that and happily takes the mug off of your hands once you hand it to him, and his smile grows significantly bigger once he sees you’ve brought him a flat white. 

“It’s decaf, don’t worry,” You say, as if reading his mind, “I figured you’d still want some sleep after drinking it.” 

“Always so considerate,” Gaz sighs teasingly, raising the mug to his lips like you’d thought he would. Thankfully, his tongue doesn’t burn this time after he sips the coffee, and you let out a small sigh of relief at the fact. 

“You know me,” You respond dryly, crossing your arms as you watch Gaz take a few more sips of the coffee. 

“Thank you for this, by the way,” Gaz thanks you, taking another sip of the coffee before stating, “I hope you know you’re my favorite now.” 

“Your favorite what?” 

“Just my favorite, in general,” Gaz hums, “This is the best flat white I’ve ever drunk. Ten out of ten.” 

“Thanks,” You thank him flatly, “It was made with love and a coffee machine I learned how to use yesterday.” 

“I can just taste the love in it.” 

“Not the coffee machine?”

“Well, it’s a bit concerning if someone can taste the coffee machine in their coffee, innit?” Gaz raises an eyebrow at you before taking another sip of his coffee. 

“Not if it’s the one I used.” 

“Whatever you say,” Gaz mutters, taking yet another sip of his coffee, making you huff out a small laugh. 

“You enjoy your coffee,” You say before walking back over to the door, closing the door behind you as you walk out and letting out a tired breath, starting to head back to your own sleeping quarters.

[yourlocalfriendlyhobbit]

Requested by @pacoholin​​

<< Part 1 | Part 3 (not posted yet) >>

A/N:

y’all making me shy with your compliments oml... *monkey covering eyes emoji* no but seriously i didn’t expect so much love on part 1, thank you all so much!

I’m also sorry it’s taking so long for me to write anything, i had a writer block, and I am chronicallly ill, so sometimes that keeps me from doing anything, and life is just sh*t all together...

This is also so freaking long... so I will make a part 3~ my brain is just not braining anymore atm...

The tourney happened weeks ago, and life was back to normal in Camelot. Things don't usually stays calm for long in this city with the magic ban, but somehow no sorcerer decided to take advantage of the tourney and agitation to commit any crimes... 

That didn’t mean Merlin had had any time to relax whatsoever; there’s never a calm moment with Arthur. Especially now that he has what he wanted to ‘blackmail’ Merlin all he wanted... During the whole week of the tourney, up until now, the moment you were present, Arthur would send teasing glances his way; elbow him lightly; or just straight up make a teasing comment that would make poor Merlin blush and leave you confused...

But truth be told, Arthur just wanted Merlin to snap and finally tell you how he feels, and he didn’t know how to help his friend other than pushing a little and hope for the better....

Of course, the knights learned about it too. And weren’t really any help, as they all had a different... approche when it came to romance...

Guinevere tried to help too. From giving him advices on what to do for you, what gifts he could give you, to just listening to him rant for hours about you... She wasn’t very close to you, but she knew, just by the look in Merlin’s eyes when he talked about you, that you were a caring person, and she just hoped you returned his feelings...

Merlin aknowledged their attempts at helping him, but he was too shy and nervous... He had magic... what if you were scared of him once he told you? what if you ratted him out then? He knew deep down that even if you were scared you wouldn’t do that, but there was still this little voice at the back of his head reminded him of it...

...

Merlin was doing his usual tasks, as Arthur was getting ready for bed. He noticed the young prince was very quiet this evening; which, considering we are talking about Arthur is really something abnormal. Merlin was considering breaking the silence but the prince did first:

“You are free tomorrow.”

Merlin turned to Arthur, quite shocked. He let out a nervous laugh.

“And who is the poor soul who would have to look after you then if I am not here?”

Arthur scoffed, and grabbed a pillow from his bed and threw it at Merlin, who easily dodged it.

“Now, that is none of your concern. Tomorrow, you will go to the kitchen and meet with Guinevere, she will hand you a basket, and you will go have a nice little picnic with (Y/n). And for the love of God, tell them how you feel!”

The poor boy looked at the Prince as if he had grown a second head. He fidgeted with the cloth he was holding.

“I... I have no idea what you mean by th-”

Before he could finish his sentence, Arthur grabbed another pillow from his bed and threw it with way more force than before. This time, it hit Merlin in the face.

“I want to help you, but I am getting quite frustrated with you. There is no denying how you feel about them because that is very obvious; from the lovesick look in your eyes to that dumb smile you have when they so much talk to you, you are just trying to find excuses.”

Arthur walked up to Merlin, and put his hand on his shoulder.

“Now, man up, and put everyone out of their misery... well, mostly you...”

With a finale pat on the shoulder, he turned around and went to lay down on his bed, while Merlin stayed where he was. He looked to the ground, not really looking at anything in particular, mulling over all that just happened. He then sighed and got back to work, before leaving to go to bed himself.

When he arrived in Gaius’ appartment, he didn’t say a word and went straight to his room.

...

The morning arrived faster than he wanted. Of course, spending the day with you was all i wanted for a long time now, but if he was to confess to you, he knew he needed to be sincere about who he really was. And that scared him so much. He could stand you not returning his feelings, but imagining you being scared of him was the worst that could happen.

He was pacing around the room, thinking of hundreds of ways to tell you everything he wanted, all the things that could go wrong, etc... Gaius was watching him from his chair, the parchement he was reading long forgotten. Obviously he knew what was making the boy so jumpy. Suddenly, Merlin took off without saying a word, barely closing the door behind him.

He ran throught the corridors, straight to the kitchens where Guinevere had probably been waiting for him for the past hour. He stumbled when he reached the door, out of breathe. Guinevere was sitting on a chair, sewing a piece of clothing. She looked up when she heard him.

“I’m so sorry I made you wait!”

She simply smiled and got up.

“It’s alright; I figured you would take some time to come.”

She went to the counter at the back of the kitchens and picked up a basket. She then walked to Merlin and gave it to him.

“(Y/n) is most likely near the training yard; there is no one there at this hour. Now hurry up.”

She smiled and pushed him lightly. Merlin laughed, a light blush dusting his cheeks. He took a few steps backwards, then started to walk at a fast pace towards the yard, a huge smile on his face. When he finally arrived at the training yard, he looked around to find you. As he walked across the field, he spotted you sitting in the shadows of one of the walls. He stopped where he was, in the middle of the yard, and stared at you. Completely entranced; as he usually was when he saw you: every background sounds vanished. You were just so perfect.

A loud crash coming from somewhere behind him managed to get him out of his trance. But it also caugh your attention. And as usual, when you looked at him, he suddenly became all awkward and shy. But unaware of the effect you had on Merlin, you waved at him with a bright smile.

With a tight lip awkward smile, he walked to you, clutching the handle of the basket like his life depended on it.  When Merlin finally reached you, you had stood up.

“Hi Merlin, how are you today?”

You could see how nervous he was, shifting from one foot to the other, looking at the ground.

“Oh um, I’m- I’m doing good- I- umm...”

Merlin paused.

“You- You are free this afternoon?”

You looked at him, a bit surprised. Knowing he is Arthur’s servant, he didn’t really have any kind of free time.

“Well, yes. Why you ask?”

Merlin took a deep, as if summoning all the courage he had in his body, and motionned to the baket he was holding tightly.

“I wanted to ask you if you would like to go picnic with me outside of Camelot’s walls?”

He was looking at you with the biggest puppy eyes you had ever seen, like he was begging you to say yes. If only he knew he didn’t need to do that for you to accept...

“Of course, I’d love that Merlin!”

You replied with a smile. Before he could say anything, you grabbed his free hand, and dragged him away from the castle. He nearly fell, but soon catched up with you.

Now, Merlin could only hope that you would return his feelings, but most importantly, that you would accept him, magic and all...

[mazeinthemiroh]

Also, as your friendly neighborhood stuck-in-the-airport anon, I think I'll just be signing asks as ✈️

Feel free to ignore any and all of them. I'm bored and overcaffeinated atm...

But that brings me to my next idea. How would the member of either ateez or stray kids react to you not being able to sleep due to ~poor caffeine choices~?

✈️

ateez reactions to their s/o drinking too much caffeine

genre: general, crack

warnings: mentions of caffeine

a/n: sorry you were stuck in an airport bestie 😭 if it helps, i'm loving your requests so far <3

please like and reblog if you enjoy :]

hongjoong

will understand your caffeine addiction more than you can imagine. will probably encourage you to drink less because he's worried about your health due to lack of sleep. but this man can't say anything because his sleep schedule is messed up, with or without caffeine. so you guys can stay up together and bond over your bad decisions 🥰

seonghwa

will continuously lecture you about your caffeine intake. every time you go out with him for lunch and he sees you've ordered yourself a coffee, he gives you a very judgemental look and goes "y/n" DON'T USE THAT TONE WITH ME PARK SEONGHWA. ehem, anyways, he just cares about your health and doesn't like the fact coffee has on you.

yunho

will be a very bad influence and join you with the caffeine addiction. well, he doesn't like to call it an addiction. he says "we're just appreciating the flavour of coffee and whatnot 😁" like okay bro you're not fooling anyone and you're an enabler but hey-ho 🥰 i'm only kidding. but he for real join you is all i'm saying.

yeosang

another one who i can see just shrugging it off and drinking a load of caffeine with you. gosh, these boys... he likes spending time with you and since he doesn't have time in the day, having more time in the night is ideal. so caffeine certainly works its magic in that aspect at least <3

san

will be surprisingly strict with you. if you even attempt to buy a coffee in front of him, he shakes his head and gives you 'the look' he's scaryyyy which tells you everything you need to know about his feelings. he just wants you to be healthy and if he knows you aren't going to get a goodnight sleep, he will try and help you out the best he can.

mingi

will probably not realise you have a problem with caffeine until much later. it doesn't click in his brain that you have bad night's sleeps because of that. and then one day it will suddenly just click into his head and then he'll be like "ooohhhhhhhhhhhhh" and be embarrassed that he didn't realise before now 💀 me too mingi, me too.

wooyoung

he will be the reason you decrease your caffeine intake. why? because he will likely drink more caffeine because he sees how much of it you drink. and then, well... have you seen an over-caffeinated wooyoung? chaos. purely, unadulterated chaos. that's really enough to put anyone off tbh

jongho

why do i envision jongho being a massive coffee drinker? am i making this up or is this an actual fact? anyways, if he notices you're getting poor sleep, he will try and talk to you about it and maybe suggest that you stop drinking caffeine to see if it makes a difference to your sleep. he's very helpful and supportive <3333

[fairycosmos]

Oh boy, things are extremely rough atm. Can you recommend any healthy coping mechanisms? I literally don’t know a single one that works for me except for self destruction and being on my phone until I don’t feel anything anymore. And apparently that’s not what we’re supposed to do when we’re sad

ok so unfortunately all of my healthy coping mechanisms only half work for me and it's a total gamble whether or not they're going to on any given day. and none of them ever cure my mental illness which is annoying. like they're not fail-proof solutions and a lot of the time they're simply frustrating in fact it often feels laughable to even try them. a walk is not going to make any of this better. but consistency DOES strengthen your coping skills like a weak muscle. like even after 3 days of practicing them i'm like Ok well i feel like shit but i survived without hurting myself and that was the whole point. not a cure but a tool. ok i'm just going to list them because otherwise, i will ramble forever. btw it's ok to do like, even half of one of these per day. there's no need to overwhelm yourself at all :) coping is coping.

meditation - it sounds and feels like bullshit but i follow this youtube called great meditation and they upload 10 min guided meditation sessions and they have truly gotten me through a lot of low moments at this point. sometimes i feel much better after and sometimes i barely notice a difference but the point is i've sat and breathed for a bit

journaling - i thought i needed some sort of mental health diary for this but then i just opened a google doc and followed these mental health journal prompts ( just one every other day, nothing overwhelming, and no pressure to write a lot or to write anything in particular) and it helped me organise my thoughts and notice the patterns i was/am locking myself into. there's also trauma processing prompts online if that is what you're after.

free writing - again just opening a word doc but this time you just write without thinking literally letting go and putting down whatever words your fingers type - no judgement no curation no performance no expectations.

submerging my face in cold water, holding ice cubs - good for grounding.

crying my eyes out, purposefully listening to sad songs or watching sad movies in order to do so - cleansing, painful, tires you out and can make you feel renewed briefly.

breathwork - again there's some great youtube vids for this. i do this 20 min nervous system reset somewhat often, but there's shorter ones that are also very effective. box breathing also helps if you just need a simple go to - breathe in for 4, hold for 4, our for 4.

lie down on a hard surface or the floor with your back straight - another grounding thing. to occupy your mind during this you can name 5 things you can see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one you can taste.

pat your arms, legs, stomach, head, chest gently and breathe deeply - again it can be grounding.

watch trail cam vids of cute animals, use the wikipedia page generator to read up on smth you've never really thought about before, download duolingo and start learning a language. not to become fluent just to get your mind out of the place it's in, even for 5 minutes.

literally just move around especially outside - HATEEE to say it but stretching on your bedroom floor, going for a walk, following an exercise video etc - it can really help you feel a bit less stale and myopic. if it's too much, opening a window is a good start. or simply standing outside your house for 2 minutes and going back in. the air will feel good.

make sure all your bases are covered - have you eaten, have you slept, have you showered, have you talked to someone in the last few days, are you hydrated? if not, make a small move towards doing one of those things. feeling like crap physically only compounds how crap you feel mentally and so the cycle perpetuates.

scream, punch/throw pillows, snap pencils, stab at paper with pens.

affirmations - i'm trying to build a list of ones that resonate with me specifically because a lot of them don't LOL. but there's a lot of good resources online for this. one of my favorite current ones is: doing a little is better than doing nothing. a job half done is better than a job not done at all.

do something creative - it's not about being an artistic genius it's about doing something tangible with your hands and getting out of your head and using the space in your brain to focus on something that doesn't feel doomed. drawing, singing, cooking, playing an instrument, writing, whatever you want. you don't have to have done it before. you can just do it.

talk to someone you trust/care about, let them in even a tiny bit. it's ok to verbalise these things. give them a fair chance to be there for you the way you'd want to be there for them. i know it's hard, all of this is, but it's not impossible. also, look for any communal resources you can find - support groups, local therapists who may offer sliding scale prices that are affordable. it all sucks but it's something.

will add more when/if any come to mind. i'm sorry you're feeling like this and i sincerely hope it all becomes a bit lighter for you soon. sending so much love. x

[wikiangela]

Weekend WIP Game

tagged by @jesuisici33 <3

Rules: List your WIPs below (if you only write one fic at a time, feel free to include future WIPs/ideas!) then answer the following questions. Then, tag as many people as you have WIPs (or more)

1. WIP List:

alive shannon

sick eddie

buddie coffee shop

new buddie chris' school

roommates

bi eddie

buddie death cast fic

cheating fic

untitled natalia fic

buddie 2x01

5+1 nicknames

coffee buddie

2. Which of your WIPs is currently the longest?

alive shannon with 20k words so far

3. Which WIP do you expect will end up the longest?

alive shannon, since it's kinda a canon rewrite and I still haven't decided to which point it's gonna go, we'll see when it'll feel right to end it haha

4. Which WIP is your favourite to write/the most enjoyable to write? Why?

once again, alive shannon haha - it's just so fun to explore what all those dynamics could've been, and giving Eddie and Shannon some closure, and I love exploring Shannon's character, too, speculating on her thoughts and motivations, and diving into everyone's heads, and I'm so excited to see it all develop!!

5. Which WIP do you find the most intimidating to write? Why?

I think it's either alive shannon or the cheating fic alive shannon bc I've never written s2/s3 buddie and I wanna get their characters semi-right, and I don't remember a lot of details so I need to get on with my rewatch lol - and also writing Shannon's and Eddie's feelings on their relationship and how it all ended is not easy haha and the cheating fic bc it's so not my thing but a song inspired it and it got stuck in my head and it's happening haha and I hope I'll make it make sense haha

6. Which WIP do you experience the most self-doubt about. Why?

tbh all of them - some more, some less, but there are moments, especially lately, when veeeery often I'm just like: everything I write sucks wtf

7. Which of your WIPs will you seek out a beta/sensitivity reader for? Why?

@giddyupbuck agreed to beta the alive shannon fic, and I spam them with snippets if I'm in doubt and it's sooo helpful fr ily <3 and I'll need alive shannon beta-read bc it's gonna be so long, and I keep changing my mind about things bc of how many ideas I have, so I just need someone else to look at it and tell me if everything makes sense haha - and Ro's helped me so much with some previous fics so they have my full trust with my baby that is the alive shannon fic haha

8. Have any of your WIPs been struck by the curse of writer's block?

all of them at some point lol - a few of these are actually on hold bc of that - I will get back to them tho!

9. Which WIP has your favourite OC? Tell us about them?

as of now there's no ocs in any of these, but we'll see haha

10. Which WIP is the sexiest?

cheating fic and maaaaybe coffee buddie (if I'll ever get back to this one) - no actual smut in my wips yet atm

11. Which WIP is the angstiest?

buddie death cast fic - if you've read 'they both die at the end' you know why lol this is not gonna have a happy ending

12. Which WIP has the best characterisation (in your humble opinion)?

so far I'm loving everyone in alive shannon so I guess let's go with that haha

13. Which WIP has the best scene setting (in your humble opinion)?

oh I am so bad this - but maybe let's say buddie coffee shop au bc i think it's the only one where I put even a little bit of focus on the setting lmao

14. Which WIP have you worked the hardest on?

alive shannon, been thinking about it and making notes for months before I started writing, and I don't think i've ever been this invested in a fic

15. Which WIP do you have the highest expectations for? Why?

alive shannon - - like I said, it's my most precious baby, and I'm so excited to not only write it but read it, and I hope it's gonna be as good as it is in my head, and I hope I'll make the story make sense with Shannon there, but also keeping some important buddie moments from canon hah

16. Do you dream about any of your WIPs?

not sure if i've ever dreamt about a wip, but i do get new ideas in my sleep sometimes lol

17. Do any of your WIPs have particular complexities that your other fics don't?

alive shannon will have switching povs which i rarely do, so it's gonna be a challenge to write three distinct voices - and diving into Shannon's head and feelings and motivations will also definitely be hard

18. Which WIP is the funniest or has the most humour?

I think sick eddie - he's so ridiculously stubborn and difficult istg haha or buddie coffee shop with how fucking awkward buck's being

19. Do any of your WIPs contain outside POVs or a deep dive on a character other than the main ship? How are you finding that process?

yep, once again, alive shannon - it's as much a buddie fic as it is a shannon fic, so it's not exactly outside pov, bc I'm just excited to focus on her equally as much, on how she's settling into their lives, becoming a better mom, being involved in Chris' life - she's gonna have as much focus as buddie sns it's not easy, bc it's alternating povs and once I get stuck in Eddie's head it's hard to leave, but so far it's been fun

20. Tell us one thing we don't know about one or more of your WIPs

uhhh, I think I share like everything lol okay, so maybe: alive shannon will definitely go at least up until s4 and will include Eddie dating Ana 👀 purely bc I want a buddie-shipping Shannon to be like wtf eddie??? also, there will be more than one mcd in the death cast fic and coffee buddie was loosely inspired by a small thing from luke cage lol

no pressure tags: @daffi-990 @fortheloveofbuddie @elvensorceress @gaydiaz @diazass @thebravebitch @silentxxsoul @shortsighted-owl @eddiebabygirldiaz @arthursdent @diazblunt @911onabc @eddiediaztho @housewifebuck @lover-of-mine @gayhoediaz @rogerzsteven @watchyourbuck @hoodie-buck @monsterrae1 @ladydorian05 @forthewolves @honestlydarkprincess @wildlife4life @theotherbuckley @weewootruck @thewolvesof1998 @disasterbuckdiaz @loserdiaz @underwater-ninja-13 @giddyupbuck @hippolotamus @eowon @callaplums @spotsandsocks

[colgatebluemintygel]

hey toothpaste! got any good fic recs for me to read?

hello little moth friend !! YES i do <3 admittedly i have spent most of my free time recently in the trenches of captive prince fic lolza........... but i have many r/s fics (ft. 1 rogue james/regulus fic) that i've read and loved over the past few months <3 so without further ado ::::

long live living (if living can be this) by excaliburned

SCREAM i had to start this list with my very favourite comfort fic <333 the oblivious/jealous sirius blueprint! fic of All time! i love love loooove this one, truly i adore it <33

the weather inside by earlybloomingparentheses

this fic.... fakkk i re-read it recently and was just as affected by it as i was the first time i read it. i feel like i can't say too much here without hashtag exposing myself but i truly adore it. for me personally, it scratches n soothes the rawest of wounds <3

the making of the map by fox_pitch

this is one of my favourite canon verse fics, and although it was written semi-recently it still very much has that old-school mwpp feel <33 it's the perfect balance of angst and humour ft. top tier pining ;;; i truly lose my mind every time i read this 🤭

storm and stress by @mblematic

an all timer ‼️‼️‼️ sirius durmstrang AU ‼️‼️‼️ i love this fic so much, they're so sweet, so much crush crush crushingggg (i love it when they do that), this remus in particular is so....... 🤭🤭... i want to pat his head. this is another of my all-time favourite comfort fics <333 truly LOVELY

this hell (is better with you) by @maybebabyplease

i don't often read jegulus, but if it's em writing i'd read it every day PLEEK i love this fic..... it's saurr funny, james's internal voice is so well done, and REGULUS.......... :'-)))))) ..... altho i am listed as a beta, do not be fooled... i did very little other than gush n giggle n go insane in the comments.... i will forever be obsessed with this iteration of them. i cannot say enough good things about em's writing, and this fic !! searing capitalist critique ft. a love story about an angel and a demon, w equal parts heart and humour ...... HELLOUGH .... teslas being the official Car of hell never ceases 2 make me giggle 🤭

you wouldn't like me by @crushofdoves

GAHHHHHH i finally caught up with ywlm recently (i'd been saving it for a rainy day... the days are very rainy atm) and it's just <333 so Gender and lovely and full of heart and makes me feel so nostalgic in the most delightful way <3 i have so much to say about this one and haven't quite found the words yet, but all i'll say for now is that i will probably forever associate caring is creepy with this fic and that song is one of my favourite songs of all time so. that's when you know xxx (also remus literally sucks the strap.... like.... hello🖐️....)

shorn and scarred and yours by @lynxindisguise

thee slytherin sirius fic of my dreams i am not kidding i truly adore this fic so so much !!! it made me go absolutely insane and pulled me headfirst out of a truly awful reading slump and i have not looked back since 💋💋 this sirius (and remus!) are so special to me <333 every now n again, as i'm going about my day, i randomly remember sirius starting a cult and have a little giggle to myself🤭

there are so many others that i know i'm forgetting ... so stay tuned for pt. 2 :o))))

[shiftingparadise]

heyyyy! it’s been a loooong while since my last request and i keep thinking about an enemies to lovers fic with gojo 🫠🫠 i mean like “i hate you. i hope you die a horrible death.” typa beat at the beginning.

i’m not sure if you’re taking requests atm, or if you haven’t watched jjk, so feel free to ignore this if that’s the case, i will completely understand^^ have a nice day<3

aaaa, I really loved writing this one. I'm sorry it took so long, but I was busy with school :(

I hope everyone's having a great day, enjoy reading 🤍✨

No warnings.

Word Count: 3100

“Yaga’s going to send me on a mission with him”, you let your head fall back. “Please Suguru, just kill me”. You earned a small chuckle in response, “I don’t understand why you two hate each other”. “And I don’t see how you could be friends with someone like him”. “He’s not that bad. I mean, he’s an arrogant piece of shit, but so am I”. 

For some reason, it felt as if the corridor to Yaga’s classroom kept expanding. Which was a good thing. You didn’t want to see that white-haired bastard.  

“You’re not arrogant, you’re confident. There’s a difference”. “He is the strongest sorcerer. His birth technically changed the balance of earth”. “I’m strong too, and smart”, jealousy flooded through your veins. “Y/N”, Geto stopped walking, “Don’t underestimate him. He may act foolish, but there’s more to him”. “Whatever, I’ll see you around”. 

You hated it when Suguru defended him. It was bad enough that they were best friends, he didn’t have to defend him every time you complained about Satoru. 

“Okay”, you closed your eyes once you saw the door to Yaga’s classroom, “Maybe he just wants to settle things with me and that idiot?”. 

“Nope, he’s going to send us on a mission together”. 

“S-shit”, your heart dropped to your stomach at the sudden presence behind you, “Asshole. I almost died because of you”. “Almost?”, he clicked his tongue, “What a shame”. “I’m not going on a mission with you”, you turned around, angry eyes staring into his blue ones. “As if I would ever go with someone like you”. “Excuse me?”, heat rose to your cheeks. “You’re selfish. You’d never sacrifice yourself for someone. Honestly, I don’t even know what you’re doing here. A sorcerer needs to protect others”. “What do you know about me?”, you shakily replied. “I know that you’re in love with Suguru”. “W-what?!”, your eyes wide open, “N-no, that’s not true!”. 

It wasn’t. He was wrong, but nonetheless, a cherry-red glow was left on your cheeks. 

“Stop it. Both of you”, Yaga opened the door, a stern expression on his face. “Sorry”, you mumbled. “Hm”, Gojo scratched the back of his head, “What do you want?”. 

Right. His disrespect for his peers never failed to amaze you. 

“Sit down”, Yaga nodded towards the wooden chairs. “Why?”. “Just sit down”, you angrily pushed your shoulder against your classmate, “The world doesn’t revolve around you”. “Actually-“. “Shut up”, you sighed as you sat down. 

“Gojo”, Yaga’s stern voice broke through the silence, “Sit down”. “I know you’re sending us on a mission together”, he lazily leaned against the wall. “That’s right”, Yaga ignored his disobedience as he turned to look at you. “Now, I know –“. “Not happening”. 

It was your turn to be disrespectful. Everyone knew how much the two of you despised each other. Was this some kind of joke? 

“Y/N-“. “Let Suguru hop along. He’ll be delighted”, you pushed your chair back, ready to leave. “If you two don’t go on this mission together, you’ll both be expelled”. 

“You think you can blackmail me?”, Gojo loudly laughed, “You guys need me”. “I’ll be expelled?”, you widened your eyes, “But I-“. “We know”, Yaga replied, “Just go on this mission together, and we won’t have to”. “Perfect”, Gojo smiled as he clapped his hands, “She gets expelled, I get to stay since you guys need me and-“. “Please”, you softly whispered, “I can’t get expelled”. “I don’t care”, he turned around, his hands childishly waving in the air, “My life will be a lot easier with you gone”. 

Yes, you hated him. Yes, you wanted to kill him for being so ignorant, but… 

“Please”, you lowered your head, “I’ve got nowhere else to go”. “I’m sure your rich family will happily welcome you back-“. “I don’t have a family”, your voice shaking, “If I get expelled, I’ll have nowhere to go”. “Huh?”, he tilted his head. “Satoru, just go on this mission with her”, Yaga pinched the space in between his brows, “It’s easier for everyone”. “Why do those old people from higher up want us to work together? I know this wasn’t your decision”. “I don’t know”, Yaga sighed, “Just do it”. 

---

“Let’s try to be nice to each other, shall we?”, he nonchalantly walked through the hallway, not caring to look at you. 

“Fuck off”.

 Why, out of everyone, did they send you on a mission with Satoru?

“You should thank me. All I know, is you’d be sleeping on the streets if I didn’t agree to go on this mission”. 

“You’re an asshole”, you stopped walking, “I hate you, and not because you’re arrogant, not because you’re always bragging about how strong you are, but because you’re heartless. You don’t care about anyone except yourself. You only ‘save’ people because it makes you feel good. You’re a self-centered idiot”. 

“And what do you know about me?”, he looked over his shoulders. 

“Easy”, Suguru’s voice tore down the dense atmosphere, “It’ll be nice”. 

God, why did he always have to smile? 

 “Nice?”, you turned around, eyes wide open, “Nothing’s nice with that idiot”. “I disagree”, he smiled as he slowly walked towards you two. “Dinner?”, Gojo ignored your insult. “Starving”, Geto smiled as he walked past you, softly patting your head. “He’s not that bad. You’ll see”, a soft whisper. “Hm”, you pouted, “See you”. “See ya”, Geto happily waved, “Oh, when do you two have to leave?”. 

“Tomorrow morning”, you placed your hands in your pockets, “Want to play UNO after dinner?”. “Don’t be a crybaby when you lose”. “I won’t lose”, you smirked as you turned around, “Later Geto”. 

“Are you in love with her?”, Gojo smirked. “No”, Geto coldly replied. “How can you be friends with her? She’s annoying”. “Why? Because she’s almost as strong as you?”, a smirk on Geto’s face. “She isn’t”, Gojo grabbed something from his pocket, “We’re the strongest”, he smiled as he put his shades on.                               

---

“Car’s not big enough for you?”, your angry eyes staring at him. “What?”, he coldly replied. “Your legs, could you spread them even further?”. “I always sit like this”. “I don’t care”, you angrily pushed against his knee, “I need some room too”. “Brat”. “Excuse me?”, your eyes studying his face. “You heard me”. 

One more word and his cheek would have a stinging, red glow. 

“You’re a brat”, you childishly replied. “We don’t have to talk”, he let his head fall back, “We’ll be there soon”. “Give me that”, you snapped the tablet from his hand, “Want to know what we’re dealing with”. “All yours”, a smirk on his face. 

Special grade curse? This must be a joke, right? You weren’t that strong and- 

“Why didn’t they send Suguru on this mission? I’m not that strong”, your heart dropped to your stomach. Your cursed energy wasn’t special, not like Suguru’s or Satoru’s. 

“Don’t know, but I’m not responsible for your safety”, he stared out of the window, “I won’t sacrifice the mission for your safety”.  

“Just worry about yourself, I’ll manage”, you quietly responded, a worrying frown on your face. 

--- 

“Hey”, his cold voice greeted your ears. 

You dreaded this moment. 

“Hey”, you walked past him. 

“Y/N?”. “What?”, you stopped walking, eyes glued to the painting at the end of the hallway. 

“I’m sorry”. 

Sorry wasn’t enough. It could never be enough. 

“I was just a kid-“. 

“You’re still a kid”, you scoffed back, “You only think about yourself”.

You waited for a response, for another sorry, but only silence filled the air. 

“Don’t worry. I’m only here to see Sukuna’s vessel”. “When are you going to accept my apology?”. 

“Accept? They expelled me because of you”. “But you got transferred”. “And I never saw Suguru again. I never got the chance to talk him out of it”. 

Why were you even explaining things? 

“You killed him. You killed your best friend”, a lump in your throat. “He killed an entire village, Y/N. He wasn’t the Suguru you used to know”. “I don’t care. You don’t give up on the people you love”. 

“He gave up on us”. 

He didn’t. Even if his motives were wrong, even if he did evil things… He wanted to make the world a ‘better’ place for the people he loved. 

“Goodnight, Satoru”, you wiped a tear from your cheek, “Always nice to see you again”. 

--- 

“What do you think?”, Yaga looked at you, his dark shades masking his eyes. “You made the right decision. He’s strong, even without Sukuna”, your eyes twinkling, “Can I train with him tonight? Just for research?”. “As long as he’s okay with it”, he lifted his shoulders. “That kid”, you nodded towards the dark-haired boy, “He’s strong too, isn’t he?”. “He has the most potential”, Yaga crossed his arms, “You don’t know who he is, do you?”. “I know. Thanks to his dad-“. “Yeah”, Yaga interrupted, “That’s him”. 

--- 

“So, you let him take over whenever?”. “N-no”, the pink-haired boy backed away, his cheeks red with embarrassment. “Does he talk to you?”, you tightened your grip around his jaw, your eyes studying every part of his face. “Y-yeah, he’s annoying”. “Can I talk to him?”, you eagerly asked.  “It’s too dangerous”, a stern expression on his face, “I don’t want to risk the safety of others”. 

“Don’t worry”.

Why? 

“Get out”, you slowly backed away, resisting the urge to turn around. “Come now, that’s my student”. 

He was smirking. You could feel it.

“Yuji”, his footsteps drew closer, “Let him out. I’m the strongest, you know that”. “B-but Gojo sensei-“. “Let him out”, he lifted his blindfold with his thumb. 

You didn’t want to see him, to give him some form of satisfaction, but… You were so curious, so fascinated… 

 “And I’m here too”, you softly agreed, “I’m strong too”. “She is”, Gojo happily smiled, “And smart. She’s the most highly paid researched in the sorcerer community. Her books are being used in every sorcerer school”. 

“Tsk”, you clenched your jaw. “She doesn’t seem to like you”, Yuji tilted his head. “That’s because we’ve got some history-“. “N-no! Not like that!”, you blurted out when you saw the look in the student’s eyes. 

“Let him out, Yuji”, Gojo smirked. 

“Okay”, the boy shrugged his shoulders before closing his eyes. 

Your heart was racing, your mouth dry… You were nervous. 

“That brat gave me 30 seconds”. 

“H-huh?”, you jolted, “H-his voice… The marks-“. 

“Sukuna?”, you slowly walked closer. “Long time I’ve seen someone this pretty. She yours?”, the curse widely grinned at Gojo. “Your time’s almost up”, Gojo smiled back, “It’s been a pleasure”. 

“W-wait!”, you tried to buy more time, but you could already see the marks disappear. 

“What did he say?”, Yuji shook his head, as if he tried to shake the curse away. “I’m never leaving this place as long as you’re here!”, you swung your arms around the boy’s neck, “I’m going to write so many books about you!!!”. 

“G-gojo sensei?”, the boy tried to ask his teacher for help, his cheeks glowing red. “Hey, she never hugged me”, Gojo loudly laughed, “Just enjoy it”. 

--- 

“So peaceful”, you sighed as you looked at the stars above you. 

You always loved the smell of a hot summer night. A clear sky above you, thousands of stars, the soft touch of grass underneath you… 

You were sitting in the middle of a park just outside Jujutsu high. It must’ve been 3 AM, but you didn’t care. This was worth it. 

What was this sudden feeling? This sudden eeriness?

“Right, I should’ve known better”, you slowly stood up. “I can never get a moment of peace”, you angrily mumbled. “Don’t hide. I know you’re here”, you wiped some dirt from your uniform. 

“Hide?”, a chilling voice greeted you. 

This wasn’t a normal curse. This was trouble. 

“Who are you?”, you widened your stance, one hand in your pocket. “Mahito, nice to meet you”, a tall figure happily walked towards you. 

“What do you want?”. “You. Dead”, a big smile on its face. “Try me”, you grabbed a bag of blood from your pocket. “Oh, blood manipulation. Interesting”, the curse scratched underneath his chin, “But then again, I already knew that, didn’t I?”. 

It knew? 

“Just like I know about your little accident years ago. Don’t you want to get revenge? Don’t you want to make him pay?”. 

“It was an accident”, your heart racing, “He didn’t mean for it to happen”. “Then why are you still mad at him?”, a fake confused expression on Mahito’s face. “You know it’s his fault. You know it’s his fault your body is covered in scars”. “He didn’t mean to”. 

It scared you how much doubt there was in your voice. 

“He did”. 

T-that voice-

“S-suguru?”, you turned around, your legs shaking. 

“Missed me?”, a smile on his face. 

He was dead-

“Suguru!”, you immediately ran towards him, your arms eagerly wrapped around his body. You didn’t care what he’d done. He was your friend. You two were inseparable- 

“S-suguru?”, tears in your eyes as you fell to the ground, a sharp pain in your side. “Don’t worry, you’re not going to die. We just need Gojo”, a disgusted look on Geto’s face as he looked down at you. 

“W-what-“, “Don’t worry”, Mahito’s happy voice interrupted, “I can heal you, and your scars”. “D-don’t-“

Why couldn’t you use your cursed energy? 

“You’ve been poisoned”, Suguru coldly added, “You can’t use any cursed energy”. “Why did you do this?”, your sight blurry. “Don’t worry. The Suguru you know is gone”, a smirk on his face. 

Right. The Suguru you knew would never do this. He’d never- 

“You aren’t-“, “What a smart girl”, he kneeled down. “Mahito?”, Geto brushed some strands of hair from your face, “She’s useless. Do with her as you wish”. 

“Get your hands off her”. 

For once, you were happy to hear Gojo’s voice. 

“Finally. Let’s see how strong you really are”, Mahito laughed. 

“S-satoru-“, darkness surrounded you, “Leave”. “Leave?”, a gentle smile on his face as he walked towards the curse, “I owe you one, remember?”. 

--- 

“Suguru?”, you slowly opened your eyes. “Ouch”, a chuckle, “I saved your life, you know?”. 

“Satoru”, you immediately sat up straight, “Where am I?”. “In your room. Shoko took care of you”.  “S-shit”, you grunted as you felt a sharp pain in your side. “Careful”, his hand immediately behind your head, “Shoto did what she could, but you need plenty of rest”. 

Normally you’d rather die than let that idiot touch you, but now it felt kind of reassuring. 

“Thank you”, you whispered, “If you weren’t there, I’d be dead”. “As I said, I owed you one”. 

You knew he expected you to ask what had happened after you passed out, but you didn’t want to know. Not yet anyway. 

“Got you these”, he took something from your nightstand, “They’re my favorite”.

Mochi?

“Thanks”, an unintentional smile on your face. “They’re not regular mochi, you know? I got these from-“, “I recognize them, Satoru”, you gently smiled, “Thank you”. 

“Y/N, listen”. 

What a strange sight. He actually seemed nervous. 

“I never meant to… I didn’t know”, he clenched his jaw. “I hate myself for what happened back then. For the pain I caused you”. “I know”, you softly whispered. “If I knew there was another curse, I wouldn’t have-“. 

“Where were you?”, a lump in your throat. “I don’t blame you, but I’ve been wondering why you suddenly disappeared after I exorcised the first curse”. 

“Flowers”, he mumbled as he looked at the ground. “What?”, you frowned. “I was getting you flowers”, his hand massing the back of his neck. 

“F-flowers?”, you widened your eyes, cheeks blushing. “I guess I was in love with you back then”, he cleared his throat, “That’s why I was such a jerk… I thought you loved Suguru and –“. 

Why was he cute right now? Gojo wasn’t the type of man to seem insecure and shy, but it kind of suited him. It was refreshing to see a blush on his cheeks. 

“When you exorcised that first curse, you seemed so proud”, a nostalgic smile on his face. “I never doubted you for a second, but you did. You always underestimated yourself, so… I wanted to celebrate. I had this stupid idea of buying you flowers and asking you out on a date”. 

“Satoru-“. 

You finally understood. You understood why you hated him all this time. Why you never got close to him. Why he was the one person who could get under your skin. 

“I know it’s silly”, he chuckled, “Please don’t tell the students I have a crush on you”. 

“Have?”, you repeated the words in your head.

“Ask me”, you quietly responded, “Ask me if I want to go on a date”. 

“H-huh?”, his blue eyes towering over his glasses as he looked over them. 

“Ask me”. 

You didn’t love Suguru, you never did. You remembered why you even tried to get close to Suguru in the first place. You wanted to spend time with Gojo. 

“Do you want to have dinner with me?”, his voice sounded raspy. 

“No”, you nervously smirked. 

“Do you want to go to the arcade with me?”, he smiled when he realized what you were after. 

“Nope”, you shook your head. 

“Fine”, he playfully sighed, “Do you want to order pizza and watch a movie?”. 

“Bingo”, you held out your thumb. 

Why was the room so cold all of a sudden? 

“Can I see?”, a dark expression on his face. “What?”, you frowned. “What I’ve done to you”. 

No. 

“You haven’t done anything to me”.  “I want to see, Y/N”. 

Don’t run. Don’t run. Don’t run. 

“Okay”, you slowly unbuttoned your shirt. 

He was disgusted. He had to be. The dark scars on your stomach and chest, all the way to your arms… 

“I’m so sorry”, he lowered his head, a crack in his voice, “I’m sorry for the pain I’ve caused you”. “Do you still think I’m pretty?”, your eyes hanging low. “No”, his digits slowly tracing over your scars. 

“Right”, you closed your eyes, “That’s fine”. 

“I don’t think you're pretty, " the sweetest smile on his face, “I don’t think there are enough words to describe how beautiful you are. You’re divine. A goddess. I’ve always thought so”.

Shit. You were blushing. 

“T-thanks”, you awkwardly responded, his nose brushing against yours. “Ask me”, he smirked. “W-what?”, you loudly swallowed as you felt his lips hovering over yours. “Ask me to kiss you”. 

“Kiss me, please”. 

[thejockout]

Update: It's been a while!

Hey all. Been quite a bit since I've been active here; lot of life stuff going on that's contributed to that, but most of it's resolved now and I'm planning a pretty active return to the scene imminently. I've got some announcements on that front that I'll try to keep brief, but I think anyone who's enjoyed my content in the past will be happy to hear them.

First and foremost, I'm going to be returning to file-making soon (end of 2023 or early 2024) with regularly scheduled releases. (My precise schedule is TBD, but I'm aiming to be release either once weekly or once fortnightly depending on how much of a backlog I can create.) I've got ideas/concepts for 20 files written out atm which would amount to either 5 months of weekly releases/10 months of fortnightly releases once written and recorded. But obviously some of those ideas might not work so well in practice/I'll obviously come up with new ones along the way too, so that number's in flux. I'm going to try to write and record ten before launching any of them, so that I don't leave a huge gap between them again. But I think you guys'll like them, there's something for everyone in what I'm planning to make. There'll be content like what I've made before, but sfw and nsfw, attending a variety of kinks I'm into.

Included in these releases are going to be updated versions of my more popular, previous files. At the moment, the files I am planning to remake are Chill Out, Bro; Blink's Good Boy; All Pups are Good Pups; and The Bigger You Are. Some of these I want to remake for reasons of audio quality, but others I straight up want to rewrite portions of to bring them more up to my current standards. I've run out of space on Soundcloud and a premium account is expensive, so I'm racking my brain for a better storage alternative. At the moment, Soundgasm is an OK backup, but I'm also considering just straight up trying Youtube/Tumblr's own audio system/Patreon's audio system on a free basis to see if they work alright. Speaking of which...

To support this expanded venture, I'm also going to be opening a Patreon + selling specific, exclusive files either by subscription to said Patreon or via platforms like Gumroad and other appropriate audio file vendors. I don't plan for all my content to be locked behind a paywall, of course. I'm planning some kind of dual channel release system where I have a certain amount of files that will be free, and then others behind subscription. But for those who don't like the idea of monthly subs, I'll be putting my Patreon-exclusive files on a third party purchase platform like Gumroad, Ko-Fi, or another suitable alternative. I appreciate that all my files previously having been free will make this annoying to some, but I am flat baroque... and realistically, each file being 4-10 hours of work (dependent on complexity) means that I really want to be seeing SOME income from this if I'll be putting a lot of time in. That's why at current, the final announcement I'm making is that:

I am now taking commissions. I've done 3 commissions in total at this point and had been keeping quiet about it while I didn't know what I was doing with the Jockout account generally, but I am now available to write and record custom hypnosis files for listeners. I'm hesitant to provide a flat rate because the cost of a file usually does come down to its complexity/length, but somewhere in the ballpark of 50-80 dollars is what I'm currently valuing the time spent on a file at, unless you want something crazy simple or crazy complicated that'll price outside that range. I'm in a Euro territory, so 50 dollars amounts to about 4 hours of minimum wage work here, which is pretty low for the amount of time a good file takes; but I appreciate that high barriers to entry are going to put people off, and I feel that way myself when commissioning. You can DM me here if you want to discuss a commission idea.

All in all, I'm pretty excited with what I hope will be the future trajectory of my page. I'm having fun learning more about hypnosis/exploring new ideas in writing, and I hope you'll all enjoy the fruits of that too! 'Til next time :)

[daisymae-12]

weekend WIP game

thanks @welcometololaland for this fun game (the perfect way to spend my saturday night 😂) and @kiwiana-writes for the tag ❤️ I only have one art WIP right now so I opted to do the writers questions !!

Rules: List your WIPs below (if you only write one fic at a time, feel free to include future WIPs/ideas!) then answer the following questions. Then, tag as many people as you have WIPs (or more). (questions for artists/gifmakers here).

1. WIP List: ok this question made me actually label my WIP's because they're all just titled "Fic #1", "Fic #2" etc in my google drive 😅

Roommates/College AU

5+1 bestfriends to lovers [Alex accidentally keeps friendzoning Henry lmao]

Supermarket meet-cute (but not cute because Henry manages to piss off Alex)

Fake Dating/College AU [inspired by how my husband and I met]

Vampire Henry

Artist Alex [Bea commissions a gift for Henry]

Canon Divergence from Kensington

Roommates AU ft. stardew valley

Coffee Shop AU

Canon Divergence from Lakehouse

Neighbours AU

Fake Dating/High School AU [also inspired by how my husband and I met lol]

2. Which of your WIPs is currently the longest?

Fake Dating/College AU !!

3. Which WIP do you expect will end up the longest?

Fake Dating/College AU - it's the only one so far that I've made an outline for because I think it'll be long-ish 😂

4. Which WIP is your favourite to write/the most enjoyable to write? Why?

Right now it's my Vampire Henry fic ❤️ enjoying it because I'm not struggling too much to write it - and the ideas have been coming easily 😌

5. Which WIP do you find the most intimidating to write? Why?

ooo probably the two canon divergence ones? mostly because they'll probably be the fics with the most angst - yikes

6. Which WIP do you experience the most self-doubt about. Why?

gosh - all of them? I haven't published new fanfic in over 6 years so it's definitely been nerve wracking even sharing snippets over here for wip wednesday 😅

7. Which of your WIPs will you seek out a beta/sensitivity reader for? Why?

Maybe for the longer fics? I'm not sure if I will! We'll see if I ever get to writing anything long enough 😬 I am sort of warming up to the idea of google doc cheerleaders? I dno, I'm such a slow writer though so it might stress me out 😂

8. Have any of your WIPs been struck by the curse of writer's block?

yess the Roommates/College AU - this was the first rwrb fic I started all the way back in June LAST YEAR 😭 I wrote bits and pieces of the first two chapters and still haven't picked it back up since 😩 I've also hit writer's block with the 5+1 - I thought this would be the first fic I'd publish for rwrb AND the first fic I'd ever finish but I got triggered when writing one of the scenes which shocked me because I didn't expect it to? I'd even say this fic is light-hearted but yeah I had to stop. Hoping to finish writing that one after Vampire Henry though !!!

9. Which WIP has your favourite OC? Tell us about them?

ooo so far the only fic with an OC is Fake Dating/College AU but I can't say more without spoiling 👀

10. Which WIP is the sexiest?

Everything is such bare bones atm, so I truly don't know 😂

11. Which WIP is the angstiest?

Probably Canon Divergence from Kensington 😅😅😅

12. Which WIP has the best characterisation (in your humble opinion)?

Hoping the characterisation is ok on all of them but right now they're all so short still that I can't pick one out 🙃

13. Which WIP has the best scene setting (in your humble opinion)?

Gosh I am BAD at this - will probably end up being the Coffee Shop AU because cafes are my second home but we'll see 😅

14. Which WIP have you worked the hardest on?

As of right now - been working the hardest on Vampire Henry fic but I anticipate it'll be outdone by Fake Dating/College AU - that one will take me a long time to write based on the outline I've done 💀

15. Which WIP do you have the highest expectations for? Why?

ahh I'm not sure! Maybe Fake Dating/College AU? I can already tell that fic is going to be my baby and I hope everyone will like it too

16. Do you dream about any of your WIPs?

Not really but I do daydream about them in the shower 😂

17. Do any of your WIPs have particular complexities that your other fics don't?

hmm not sure since everything is still quite bare bones so I'll answer this next time !

18. Which WIP is the funniest or has the most humour?

Right now - Vampire Henry 😅 but not really ??? but yes the most in comparison to everything else so far LOL

19. Do any of your WIPs contain outside POVs or a deep dive on a character other than the main ship? How are you finding that process?

Nope but I do want to write a fic with an outside POV one day!

20. Tell us one thing we don't know about one or more of your WIPs.

Vampire Henry fic will probably be the first fic in a series 😬 I have ideas for a sequel OR extra scenes that will be ficlets 🥰

Yay that was so much fun! Love reading about everyones wip's but no pressure ❤️ @myheartalivewrites @heybuddy-drabbles @read-and-write- @suseagull04 @gwiazdziarka @adreamareads @sprigsofviolets @cultofsappho @anincompletelist @lizzie-bennetdarcy @notspecialbabe @littlemisskittentoes @happiness-of-the-pursuit @affectionatelyrs @heartitinthesilence @inexplicablymine @raysletters @tintagel-or-cockleshells @hgejfmw-hgejhsf @sherryvalli

[andromedaexists]

It's Been a Week...

Seven days ago I introduced my book baby (Δάιος, you might have heard of it) into the world! On 10/10 Icky baby made his debut!!

So what has happened since then?

Well, my personal life has become a living hell but that's not what we're here to discuss. Today is all about self-publishing a debut novel.

Icarus came into the world on the 10th with a KDP ebook and paperback release. Those were soon joined on the 11th by an ebook, paperback, and hard cover wide release through the distribution channels of IngramSparks.

I have learned a lot with this process. Namely: IngramSparks is a fucking bitch when it comes to covers, Amazon will not provide quality author proofs so I have no way of knowing what my book will look like before it publishes, and that I need to give myself more time to work out the kinks next time.

Before I get too far into details, I want to highlight some numbers here. If you do not want to see publication numbers then you are free to go! Thank you for stopping by, though!

Okay, so here are my numbers so far:

I had sixteen (16) preorders on the Δάιος ebook through Amazon.

On release day, these orders processed. I also received another 3 orders that day, bringing the total number to 19.

Since that first day, I have received a total of 26 orders through KDP.

As you can tell, I had a significant dip right after pub day. This is mostly my own fault, as I am terrible at marketing and by virtue of my life going to shit I haven't even been shitposting about my book.

Of these 26 orders, 5 of them have been paperbacks

This is a lot better than I expected!! I think it's because I am so partial to physical copies that I tend to push those first and foremost before the ebook.

But these are just the amazon KDP numbers, I have also gone wide with distribution!

So how many orders have I gotten through IngramSparks??? None.

Not a one. That's to be expected though, a lot of indies sell through amazon first and foremost. I mostly set up ingram for two reasons: 1. I wanted to hold a hardcover edition of Δάιος in my hands but i really dislike the way that KDP doesn't offer dust jackets for their hardcovers and 2. Consignment

I just finished filling out some consignment forms for my local NE Ohio bookstores, we'll see if I get into any of them.

There is one other place I sell, though: my website. How many orders have I gotten there? 6!!

one of those images is different, because on my website I can offer something that amazon and IS can't. Physical goodies. The books on my website come with a pack of 6 stickers, a thank you card, and my signature! And technically I have 8 orders, but one hasn't come through yet from a friend in person and the other is for Shane bb who is getting an annotated copy of the book (I haven't finished the annotations yet lol)

So now that we have all the numbers out in the open, let's talk about money. How much did it cost for me to publish δάιος? A lot. It is possible to publish for much less than what it cost me, but I went out of my way to commission a cover artist that I just knew I needed to have and that cost me a pretty penny.

All in all, I spent $2,920.16 ($1,703.02 is the cover alone after conversion from GBP)

And how much have I made back so far, just in week one?

$73.46 from KDP royalties and $44.82 from my website ($94.95 - $50.13 for the books alone, not even counting the goodies and packing supplies) for a total of...

$118.28!!! That's a lot!!!

I am very privileged to have a credit card I can put my expenses on as I slowly pay them off, and I do not regret anything I have done in the creation of my book. Even if it makes me cry a little bit at how much I spent.

Now that the numbers are over, what are some positive things that have come of this and some negative things? (pos first)

I have published my debut novel!

There are 4 people who have read my debut novel and liked it enough to rate it on goodreads! (it has a 4.75 star rating atm!)

My book is BEAUTIFUL

Icky baby has been unleashed on the world!

I feel like I've finally accomplished something with my life

DID I MENTION THAT I PUBLISHED A BOOK???

the negatives:

I really don't like that the colors of the cover don't print properly, every copy I've gotten either lightens the contrast so you can't see the title or it darkens the damned thing and you can't see Icarus

I also don't like that IngramSparks doesn't support any letters outside of the basic latin letters on the spine of covers, because that means that my baby is naked under the dust jacket and that's just boring

Amazon Fuckt Up my print proof (i will attach pictures) and I freaked out about it for a good 4 days

I just realized today that I published daios with a placeholder chapter title about halfway through the book... so I fixed that but there are already more than 30 copies of the book in circulation with that error...

Idk if it's just my bad eyes but I feel like the text is too small in the print books. I would like to make it larger when I publish the revised edition next year

INGRAMSPARKS IS A LITTLE BITCH THAT WILL YELL AT YOU AND REJECT YOUR COVER IF YOU LOOK AT IT WRONG

I can order just a regular copy of daios off amazon and it will be here in two days. So why when I order author copies does it take TWO WEEKS TO SHIP

I really hate that the hardcover can't have creme paper. Like, gimme the offwhite. It looks so much better with my cover and the vibes of the story. Lemme use something other than bleach white please i'm begging

All in all, I learned a lot with this!! I had my ups and downs, I think I've done everything in my power to make this book successful, and now I just have to roll with it!

I will check in again at the one month mark, but yeah! That's it! Thanks for reading through this long winded post!!

The pictures, as promised:

And just in case you can't immediately see what's wrong:

The colors are off, the title has like a hard demarcation when it's supposed to be a soft glow and you can't hardly see Icarus down there

My name is brushed up against the edge of the book when it's supposed to have a decent buffer room

The spine is shifted. Why is the spine text partially on the front cover?

The colors are off on the back as well, the text is hard to read and it's too close to the edge of the book when it's supposed to be more centered.

For reference, here's the finally front cover on a regular paperback purchased through amazon (I.E. what a normal customer would receive):

[octomelodytunes]

[redoing my intro post!!]

౨ৎ⋆ ˚｡⋆[ 𝐰𝐞𝐥𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐲 𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠! ] ౨ৎ⋆ ˚｡⋆

“ heyo! its me, melody! im sooo glad you guys came to check on my page! now, lets start by getting to know me ! “

basic info;

- my pronouns are she/her (mainly), but you can call me whatever you like! you can even call me dookie!! .. NEVER CALL ME DOOKIE!/ref

- im a minor!! so if your being creepy im gonna block you<33

- im a filipino:0

“ now that you know all of that, its time for me to tell you the fandoms im currently in! “

- LMK (lego monkie kid)

- TADC (the amazing digital circus)

- murder drones

- kids show fandoms! (disney jr, nick jr, etc!! oh and i also do korean kids shows)

“ fandoms are not your thing? dont worry!! thats not just all i focus on! here are some of my favourite music artist, and my fav songs from them! “

(psst! i may or may not post about them:0

“ getting bored? well, here are more facts about me!” (thatll probably convice you that i am a cool person and that u shld follow me/j)

- im an artist!

- i also write, just not so often;))

(wattpad is; Liii_Cheryll

(ao3 is; melodytunsies

[both are inactive atm]

- im a HUUGE notmayor fan, and i will never shut up about him if you bring him up

- the ceo of making nextgen ocs

- im also on tiktok! (@meiandmayorkisser)

- im also a genshin player!!

- and ive got an art insta!! (@/medley.melody)

“ i feel like ive said too much … anyway! before you move on, here are some things i highly encourage you to do while on here! “

- no bullying/making fun of me

- no being creepy! pls! especially if your over the age of 18!

- personally, i have no age limit on my blog:) anyone can interact!

- no venting/ranting about serious stuff on my page, my dms and my discord (nottraveller.melo) is always free if you wanna talk!

- read the room people, dont talk about serious things on a lighthearted post, youre free to discuss any politic/serious topic on a post related to that:)

- absolutely NO discrimination on my blog, please! this is a positive space!!

“ and thats all guys! i hope that you guys enjoy my content!” (i only post once in a blue moon, or when i remember that i have tumblr downloaded on my phone..)

(tags below are unrelated, just used to find my audience<3)

[skz-maybe-incorrects]

Here's A Little Get-To-Know-You Tag Game!

Tagged by: de wonderfulest ppl @noonaracha @straykidsgallery and @itsstraykids thank you sm!!! (go appreciate their cool point stories!)

Name(s): juni! is what i decided. some friends on this hellsite also call me solar so wtv u prefer. atp i just have a bunch of nicknames bcs i also have a Weird Name, A Weirder (Family) Nickname in real life

Pronouns: he/she/they/it<3 when i say feel free. pls and thank u

Star Sign: libra, right when it starts (and just a day after seungmin's!)

#of Siblings And Fun Facts About Them(if u have any): one (1) younger gremlin brother, and the funnest fact abt them is that he has been a walking directory of telephone no's since he was 4 and now can be relied upon to calculate large numbers inside his head in point seconds. Still hates physics(and most things theory)> by which, he also stores insane and inane amount of stats info (abt all types of things, but mostly sports) inside his head ready to be flourished at a moments notice, which is mildly impressive when ur 6 and debating with college students the scores of a game that happened 15yrs before u were born but not now when ur 17 and ppl are more focused on your test scores rather than ones u know, so</3 also has his birthday on changbin's but he doesnt know abt that

#of Pets: there's a history there. with fishes that my ma deceived me with on my 12th birthday(when i asked for a pet, i imagined smth i could hold) and then liked too much herself that we had them for 5yrs. three times; birds, but my brother kind of freed them while singing a lullaby with only me as an unbelieving witness. a dog (belovedest of em all) my dad picked from street as a puppy and who, then, had to be given away after 3yrs bcs of Stupid Reasons im still mad abt. now i just have street cats showing up at my front door to safekeep their babies on my staircase's isolated nooks till they grow up and vanish and street dogs who believe i have endless supplies of treats and show me sad faces when i dont. i really want a pet</3 but for now im contending with pictures of kitties whose moms operate on strict 'see-dont-touch' policies and sweet sweet strays who like to befriend u too easy.

Fandoms: many, but rn im active mostly in skz and mxtx. id love to be in other stuff i read and watch but since Capitalism hates me dearly,,,

Favorite Color: darker shades of all and any colors(esp blue green and red)!!! can be relied upon immensely to look warm and pretty always

Favorite Song: picking favorites for anything is out of my capabilities. also am just listening to my favorite bollywood playlist a lot these days.

Favorite Author: have a working list of favorite poets that does not end at 1. have not read a book seriously in four years of exam/prep-locking. but even if i did, idt ill be able to pick any favorite bcs, yk. good things in many things. (tldr; its roald dahl) (and ruskin bond who i read when i was 5 and still read when im so tired bcs his stories inspire me to write always)

Hobbies: I dance(perform) sometimes? I write??(←derogatory, dubious) make stuff, mostly poems and stories and tinker with free things i can do, both online or craft. analysis of things with friends is a beloved activity. i liek yoga and stretching (rn in an ongoing war with 3° winter mornings to drag myself out of bed and go to class at 6) cooking when i have time but mostly, always, reading (or! watching) stories, poems and learning abt cool nonfiction things (does crying abt fiction count)

Favorite Holiday: none of the above its the trips and getaways u make for yourself. all my beloved memories are always mostly from when our family makes a trip to someplace my mom insists or there's a non-worrying emergency to go somewhere. just family getting together under some pretense, even tho it is stressful as fuck.

Do You Have Any Partner(s): persuading my best friend atm but sadly she's straight</3(no lmao)

Fun facts about you/anything extra you wanna share!: since im having it rn- coffee doesnt keep me up or sometimes even makes me nod off, a fact i discovered after my 14yr old brain had the brilliant idea to try out the cool, forbidden drink after dinner knowing i wasnt allowed to. this is not fun to my ma but growing up in a sort of restrictive household, im also just weirdly good at sneaking and doing stuff im not supposed to without getting caught. i also do not know how to talk in lesser words. this is an absolute curse, yes i have tried. beware</3

this^ is a mess but thank u i had fun!! lemme tag: @winterfloral @syannie @hyunhomoons @quokki @chogiwow @agibbangs @rainknow @lixence @hyunebear @straykidsgallery @jerirose @ambivartence @hongjoongpresent + anyone who wishes to! apologies if tagged already!

[clockwayswrites]

Rambling sulking below the cut. Feel free to ignore- just exhausted 1am thoughts.

I'm honestly feeling a tiny bit stressed about my writing atm. I know it is one of those "this too shall pass" moments. I know it's mostly brought on by chronic pain and life stress. It's firmly becoming spring here and every inch of me hurts and I'm having to sleep 12-14 hours a day just to have the smallest energy. And I have quite a few things to try and get done for work and home in the next few weeks.

But my am I feeling a tiny bit stressed about my writing.

I definitely need to not have 3 fics all in the 'ao3 stage' again. Like, 'the fic that I'm not writing' is not causing stress- but LBFD and 'Shadow of a Bat' and 'Bleeding Out, Bleeding In' all are. I know people are waiting for the next chapter of Shadow. But I'm really proud of that fic so far and don't want to rush it. Worse, I've eroded my buffer chapters for LBFD waiting to be rewritten/edited by 1 and at this rate I'll lose another this next week and I STILL need to rewrite the chapter for next week. And that buffer is so damn hard to get back once it's gone. I don't want to be in writing and posting the same chapter in a week again- I want to let them have time to sit so I can make them the quality I want with the rewrite. And I said I'd have Bleeding up this week which it is written but needs to be rewritten and my brain's focus is all going to grading and lecturing and rewriting is hard.

So seriously, no new fic actually in the pipeline until both Bleeding and Shadow are done.

As said, feel free to ignore this all. This is just all me whining so I can compartmentalize it and put it in it's little card catalog in my brain it belongs in and close the damn drawer. I know it's just the current bad brain vibes. It will all be fine, but yeah. I try not to sulk here too much but sometimes things just need to be processed.

Anyways, be patient with me please if things take a little longer than expected~ I am just a mild disaster.

[swanliyah]

Get to Know Me/Stats <3

Sex: F

Age: 18

Bmi: 16

Height: 157cm / 5ft1.8

Sw: 50kg/110lbs

Cw: 39.5kg/87.2lbs

Lw: 39.5kg/87.2lbs

Hw: 52.5kg/115.7lbs

Gw: 39kg/86lbs

Ugw: 38.5kg/85lbs

Diet: 100% Gluten free (the weight will fly off)/Never drink cals/low sodium/no red meat

Daily calorie intake: Never over 300 calories!

----------------------------------------------------*message me for any tips/tricks/rants*

I have always been insecure with my body, since I was four years old I would compare my body to others and as time went on it didn't change.

When I was 10 I first heard about ana while watching a Dr.Phil episode and ever since then, I had the urge to be skinny. I would skip meals such as breakfast, eating crackers and cheese for lunch in school and when I would get home I refused to eat after 7pm. I'd go on vegetarian and vegan diets, just to get sick and have to start eating meat again.

For some time after all of this happened I somewhat recovered and during covid *grade 8* I would have a healthier relationship with food while working out literally for fun. Then I fell back into eating unhealthy and then back into working out for at least an hour a day.

Then in grade 10 I met my boyfriend, started BC and gained so much weight (hw), but I was so confident and happy within myself until I wasn't. I attempted to restrict myself but failed, I had 0 motivation to exercise and seemed to let go of myself.

Fast forward to the end of grade 11 I went to the gym and started being more mindful of my food while being in a calorie deficit of 1500, fast forward to now, I lost over 20lbs/9kgs and severely restrict myself (follow low cal diet plans are my favourite atm), workout for at least 30minutes and take 2 lax's a day.

I have struggled with binge eating episodes, but nothing too recent. I am now at my lowest weight and feel more confident than ever and I only see myself losing more and more.