#It's such a careful detail. It's things like these that make the Ame Orphans my favourite characters

[gakkubi]

The ring which Pain wears has the kanji 零 (rei), meaning "zero, nothing."

In the Six Paths of Pain, Nagato is the Outer Path (Seventh Pain). I believe the meaning of the ring alludes both to the fact that Yahiko is the Akatsuki's original leader, as well as the actual body of "Pain". In a way, this makes him the "Zero Pain" (零). (Detail of x)

[sundrop-writes]

Careful - Chapter One

(Dad)Spencer Reid x (Mom)Fem!Reader

Chapter One: Over Yet

We can go farther, beyond the end.

Summary:

You and Spencer broke up more than four years ago. Since then, he has tried his best to forget about you. He has pushed all of his feelings down - locked them away into a little box that he never touches.

That is, until he sees your name on a list of potential victims being stalked and killed by a man who kills single mothers. (And he quickly realizes that your son could be his.)

Dad!Spencer Reid x Mom!Fem!Reader. Exes to Lovers. Angst.

Word Count: 5,900

Criminal Minds Masterlist | AO3 Link | Series Masterlist

Please keep in mind - I am not doing a taglist for this series, so please do not ask to be tagged in future parts. I do not do taglists. If you want to be notified when future parts of this fic are posted, you can follow this blog and turn on notifications here - I don't make personal posts on this blog, it is just pure posts of my fanfiction. Or you can subcribe on AO3 to get email notifications when this series is posted. You can also view the posting schedule on the series materlist and check @tenpintsof-sundrop for any information about possible changes to that schedule.

Detailed warnings and author's notes below the cut.

Warnings: general warnings for a Criminal Minds episode - mentions of murder/killing, somewhat graphic descriptions of killing, somewhat graphic descriptions of dead bodies, the underlying misogyny that comes with a man killing women, mentions of children being orphaned due to their mothers being killed (though there is no mentions of other living family members taking care of those children - you can imaging that they still have nice families to take care of them if you want, I didn’t fill in that detail), mentions of children being in proximity of a serial killer; exes to lovers - the reader and Spencer broke up and the reason why will be revealed later; mentions of pregnancy/mentions of the reader having a child; mentions of sex that resulted in a child/pregnancy (there is no detailed sex scenes/detailed smut in this chapter, but there will be in other chapters); mentions of JJ x Will; the reader’s looks are described as vaguely as possible; passing mention of incest (in the context of a historical figure); all statements that Spencer makes toward the end of this chapter were heavily researched and are factual; I think that’s about it?

A/N: The reader and Spencer originally dated around Season 1/Season 2 - I state at some point during the fic that they dated for 3 years before breaking up, so they started dating when he was very early Season 1 baby Spence (or even before Season 1) and they broke up around Season 2. So technically this fic takes place around Season 6 - but because I didn't want to distract from the plot, I didn't mention any of the stuff going on with Emily or any of those major canon plot points, and I am using pictures of later versions of Spencer just because that's who I was picturing in my head while writing this. But that's how the math works out. Anyway, I hope you enjoy the fic!! This chapter is more of an introduction before we really get into the meat of things, but I still hope that you guys like it.

...

The team had been in Portland for three days.

No leads, a confusing, inconsistent profile - huge pieces missing that would likely give them the real answers. 

A patient killer with an extended timeline who likely wouldn’t kill again for months - leaving them chasing their tails, looking for answers. 

“Okay, so, let’s take a step back.” Hotch sighed. “What do we know so far?” 

He leaned against a nearby table, looking at everyone with the hope of reassessing the case from a different angle. The hope of talking it out to get some answers. 

Another woman’s body had been found just before they arrived, and that would mean that the UnSub would be out hunting again soon. This was both good and bad. 

Good, because the UnSub clearly had to spend a lot of time stalking his victims - he knew a lot of details of their lives, and he had spent a lot of time developing an intimate fantasy of being a part of their family in his mind. So he wouldn’t be killing again the next day. No woman was in immediate danger. It gave the team more time to find viable suspects. 

Bad because they had no physical evidence, no good leads. And thus far, the profile was leading them nowhere. It felt incomplete. 

They could find no real connections between the victims - their gyms, their banks, their childcare, their grocery stores. Somehow, the victims didn’t seem to have any crossover in their lives. There was no real way to say how the UnSub had met them. And someone like this - he would have interacted with them at least once in order to become obsessed and stalk them to this degree. 

“Five women dead within the last three years.” Prentiss announced, starting to round up the facts that the team knew for certain. “All of them mothers, all with children under the age of five. All within the same ten square mile radius of Oregon, around Portland’s suburban neighborhoods.” 

She slumped back into her chair with a tired huff, and then continued. 

“The UnSub breaks into their homes through a backdoor or a back window, and somehow goes undetected in such an upscale neighborhood.” She sighed. “He kills the mothers, but he leaves their children alive. And then he calls 9-1-1 to report the death as a case of child neglect.” 

“So he was likely neglected by his own mother in his childhood.” Morgan easily theorized. 

“All of the victims upper-middle class, single mothers to one child with good jobs. All of them are of the same physical type.” Rossi added on. “They’re the same race, they have the hair color, they’re the same body type - all in their late twenties to early thirties. So the UnSub definitely has a type. He’s most definitely recreating a fantasy of some kind - perhaps taking out revenge on his own mother, but protecting himself. Which is why he never hurts the children.” 

“Yeah, but the children are different.” Morgan replied. “Sometimes boys, sometimes girls. Some of them are biracial - he doesn’t look for a specific type in the father. He doesn’t necessarily need to see himself in the children.” 

Then, as another thought occurred to him, Morgan continued on: 

“Plus, the children’s ages vary from barely a year old all the way up to five - if he was looking to seek revenge on his mother, looking to protect a younger version of himself, then he would have locked in on a critical event that he needs to protect himself from. The age of the children would be more consistent, at least, because he would be looking to protect himself as he hits the age that he was most traumatized by a specific event.” 

“That’s good.” Hotch nodded. “Then we know that it’s more about the mothers. He hates women at his core. Protecting the children is just a byproduct of his obsession over these women.” 

“But we still have no clue how these women could be connected or how they met the UnSub.” Morgan replied, jaw stiff with frustration. 

“Focus on what we do know.” Hotch reminded him. 

“All of the women were killed via stabbing. They all had over a dozen stab wounds to their stomachs and genital areas.” Rossi replied. “So, he is an aggressive sexual sadist.” 

“But if he hates women so much, why spend so much time in the house?” Morgan argued gently. “Every single one of these scenes has evidence that the UnSub spent hours - possibly up to a day in the house before he killed them. He cooked dinner, set the table, and made the women eat it before he killed them. Including a second place setting for a child. Some of the kids even said that ‘the scary man’ tucked them into bed and read them a story.” 

He held up one of the crime scene photos that depicted the scene of the family’s place settings - a haunting scene of plates not cleaned up from dinner, with a flower vase sitting in the middle of the table with a few white flowers wilting inside of it. 

“He’s right - why bother to show them the kindness of a last meal if he shows so much aggression toward them during the killing?” Prentiss added on. 

“It’s a routine.” Hotch said, the thought suddenly occurring to him. “It’s likely that he chooses single mothers because he gets to play the role of the father. With the real father figure absent from the picture, it makes it easier for him to impose himself into that role. At least for a temporary amount of time.” 

“It is strange.” Reid added on, clearly swimming in thought. “It’s almost like he’s courting them? Sending them gifts, showing what a good father he could be. Each of the women were sent white carnations sometime in the days before they were killed, and after the killing, he lays the flowers around their head in a halo-like fashion. It is said that carnations represent motherhood, and the white shade could depict an angelic innocence that he’s projecting onto these women.” 

“So he views these women as angelic figures, yet he kills them so brutally?” Prentiss scoffed. “It just doesn’t add up.” 

“Maybe he views the killing itself as a type of purification.” Reid theorized. “It’s not uncommon for killers to emotionally fetishize dead bodies and consider them more ‘pure’ than their living counterparts.” 

Prentiss visibly cringed at this. 

“Wait.” JJ said, looking at one of the crime scene photos with a sharp line pulling her brows together. 

Everyone looked to her, waiting for her to finish this thought. 

“I don’t think that the mothers were the only ones sent gifts.” 

She held up the photo, showing a picture of a colorful child’s play mat in the living room. Everyone stared at the photo in confusion, and JJ sighed and began to explain. 

“Look at this toy truck in the middle.” She said, pointing at something that almost blended into the background of the photo. The true focus was a large handprint - one that belonged to the killer, but he had worn gloves. “It’s wooden, it’s hand-carved, it’s old fashioned. All the other toys are plastic, brightly coloured. Remember what the UnSub said in the second 9-1-1 call?” 

“‘She pretends to have her son’s best interests at heart, but she was going to let him get cancer from sucking on those cheap plastic toys.’” Reid said, repeating it word-for-word, using his impeccable memory. 

“Exactly.” JJ confirmed with a nod. “Clearly the UnSub believes that he would be a good father because he can gift his child something hand-made instead of something mass produced.” 

“Alright, get the crime scene techs back over there to pick up the truck, maybe he wasn’t wearing gloves when he made it and there is some slim chance he left a print on it.” Hotch said, and JJ left to call the crime scene unit. 

This left the team sitting in silence for a few more moments until Reid spoke up again. 

“What about preschools?” He said, suddenly coming out of a wave of thought to announce this to the room. 

“What?” Prentiss prompted, wondering what on earth he was talking about. 

“Preschools.” Spencer confirmed, looking across the table at her. 

“We checked already, none of the victims’ children went to the same preschool.” Morgan reminded him. “Two of the kids didn’t even go to preschool.” 

“Yeah, but preschools typically have large waitlists.” Spencer argued. 

Naturally, all eyes in the room fell on him, waiting for him to explain. 

“In the first 9-1-1 call, the UnSub said that the victim ‘shipped her son off to be cared for by strangers half the time’.” He explained, once again perfectly reciting this from memory. “What if the UnSub resents preschools and the schooling system for taking these children away from their mothers, so he’s choosing his victims off of a preschool waitlist? What if that’s where his obsession stems from because that’s where his rage stems from?” 

Reid jumped up, pointing to the map he had been using to make a geographical profile. 

“All of the victims live within the same school district.” He added on. “So they would be applying to the same group of preschools.” 

“I’ll call Garcia.” Morgan announced. 

A few minutes later, Morgan connected Garcia’s call to the comm on the center of the conference table they were working from. 

“Hey, pumpkin pies.” She greeted them sweetly, as usual. “So it turns out, the preschool that Tommy Laird, and Emily Ashton, the third and the fourth victim had in common, does have a waitlist. But none of the other victims’ names were on it.” 

“Come on, babygirl. I know you’re holding out on me.” Morgan said, giving a small smirk. 

“Oh, my Adonis, if I don’t have your trembling anticipation, I have nothing.” Garcia giggled. “The school’s waitlist, and their applications, are handled by a firm called Gordon & Stanheight. And it turns out, they handle the applications and waitlisting for five other preschools in the area.” 

“Which gives the UnSub a perfect way to pick his victims.” Morgan sighed. “The first interaction that gets him hooked might not even be in person-” 

“Unless he’s picking them out of the line-up on paper and then waiting to meet them in person?” Prentiss replied. “With this type of guy, the smallest smile, a nod in his direction - that could be consent in his mind to play father to a household that’s missing one.” 

“You said they handle forms for five different schools? That just widened the victim pool.” Rossi groaned. 

“And the suspect pool.” Garcia added on. “The firm has thirty male employees. And I did a bit more digging - the preschool applications have ten ‘optional’ questions on the bottom that are definitely not marked as such. Questions directed at the parent filling out the form, rather than vital information about the child. Things such as: ‘what’s your favorite food?’, ‘when is your birthday?’, ‘what’s your favorite color?’, ‘do you plan on having more children?’ - typical survey schlock,” 

“That would explain why the UnSub served Lisa Laird a birthday cake.” Reid sighed. “He knew it was her birthday two days before he killed her.”

“I have a feeling I’m not gonna like where this is going.” Emily sighed. 

“Oh, sugar. You probably won’t.” Penelope easily agreed. “The ‘optional’ part of the forms is sold off to other companies as survey data. And those forms are seen and handled by over a thousand male employees of Gordon & Stanheight’s larger ‘data processing’ sector.” 

“Well the UnSub has to be local to Portland. So narrow down the suspect list based on his last known address and go from there.” Hotch said. “Also, it would be someone who has a criminal record. Someone committing this level of violence wouldn’t be a first time offender.” 

“Gotcha.” Penelope said. “Penny G, out.” 

… 

The team ended up raiding Gordon & Stanheight’s Portland based office. 

After some pointless conversation, some threats of lawsuits, and some even larger threats of being detained for impeding an FBI investigation, the team was able to get their hands on the preschool applications. Over two-dozen boxes worth, that they would have to sort through. 

So this left JJ, Reid, Hotch, Rossi, Morgan, and Prentiss knee deep in paper, looking for anyone who fit the UnSub’s victimology - praying that they would be able to pick out the next victim and get to her before the UnSub did. 

“We’re never gonna get through these fast enough, are we?” Prentiss sighed, continuing to sift through the papers. 

“We just have to go as fast as we can, and hope the UnSub sticks to his schedule.” Morgan replied. “He has to spend time stalking them, learning their routine. Even if he has chosen his victim by now, he won’t break into the house until he’s fully confident that he won’t be disrupted.” 

“And the stalking helps build up the fantasy.” Reid added on. “He romanticizes them from afar, sends them gifts. It adds to his delusions of grandeur and forbidden love. The idea that he’s swooping in to become the perfect father figure for these ‘broken’ families.” 

“So we’re hanging all our hopes on the idea that this psychopath needs time to ‘fall in love’ with his next victim before he kills her?” Prentiss groaned. 

“Sadly, yes.” Rossi confirmed. 

“It helps that most of these applications are from two-parent households.” JJ pointed out. “We can throw out anything with a second applicant on the form, because he’s only targeting single mothers.” 

The rest of the conversation easily became quiet in Spencer’s ears when he saw it. 

It should have been just another page among the sea of paper in his hands, but when he saw those words on the page - that name - it was like a punch to the gut. It pushed all the air out of him in seconds, it made him dizzy, made him struggle to breathe. Like a reel flashing through his mind, it brought back a flood of memories he thought he had locked away forever. 

It was you. 

What the hell were you doing applying for preschools? 

Spencer rushed to tear this paper away from the others in order to read it more carefully. 

Surely enough, the application was filled out in your handwriting. Something that had barely changed over the years. And it was all right there, laid out in front of his eyes, clear as day - 

You had a son. 

A son named Sebastian, who was three years old. Spencer checked the date on the form, eagerly looking for a birth date for your son. His birthday had just recently passed, actually, so he was four years old now. 

And his birth date was… fuck. 

He had been born eight and a half months, almost nine months exactly after the two of you had broken up. Your son had been born eight and a half months after the day you had left and Spencer had never seen you again. 

One thousand, seven hundred and two days. 

Four years, eight months, and two days. 

It wasn’t difficult math. 

Your son was the perfect age to be Spencer’s child. Was this Spencer’s child? 

His hands began to shake at the very thought of it.  

Is that why you had disappeared from his life with such haste? Because you knew that you were pregnant and you didn’t want Spencer to be a part of your child’s life? 

Had you been keeping this from him intentionally? 

He hadn’t thought about you in four long years, he had tried so hard not to. He had spent so long forcing himself not to miss you, and now he was struck with the realization that he might have a child out there with the woman he considered to be his regrettable lost love. A child he didn’t know - a child who he had missed four whole years with. 

What the fuck was going on? 

There were no pictures included with the application, and suddenly, Spencer found himself dying to see the boy. He wanted to know if there was any physical resemblance to himself, or if he was jumping to conclusions. 

Maybe you had cheated on him. Maybe that was why you had left town and never contacted him again. Maybe the kid wasn’t his at all, maybe- 

“Reid.” JJ called out gently, getting his attention. 

Spencer suddenly realized that he was hyperventilating, staring down at the application with your name on it in his hand, wrinkling the paper as he squeezed it more frantically. 

“Did you find something?” 

… 

All in all, the team found four different women who fit the victim pattern in the files - you being one of them. 

So the team split up, ready to knock on each of the womens’ doors, preparing to warn them that if they received any gifts or saw any suspicious men lingering around them in the next few days, they should call. They had to hope that the UnSub wouldn’t move on from this victim pool if he saw the FBI around. But he was overly confident, he had contacted police before. 

It could definitely work. 

When Hotch found out that Spencer had known you, he said that Spencer should be the one to knock on your door. That you might find it comforting to hear that you and your child could possibly be in danger if it were coming from ‘an old friend’. Spencer stuttered over himself and didn’t have the words to explain that you weren’t just a good friend to him, but a romantic flame. He didn’t want to embarrass himself in front of the team by telling everyone that the break-up had been messy, and sudden, and Spencer still wasn’t even completely sure what had caused it. He didn’t want to rip open his old wounds in front of everyone. 

So he simply shut his mouth and got in the car with JJ, and they made their way toward your house. 

…

“So…” JJ’s voice broke through the undulating silence of the car ride - filled by nothing but the sound of the car’s motor running and gears grinding inside Spencer’s mind as he tried to figure all of this out. “I do have to ask the obvious question,” 

“What is that?” Spencer probed, slightly glad to be relieved of his own thoughts. 

He wasn’t so glad when JJ pried those thoughts out of his mind and spilled them to the open air. 

“Is the kid yours?” She wondered aloud. “I mean - when did you and Y/N break up?” 

JJ had known you as Spencer’s girlfriend. 

Come to think of it, she was probably the only person on the current field team who had some kind of a relationship with you back when you and Spencer dated. 

Initially, it had been by accident. JJ had driven him home one night after a particularly long and sleepless case, and you had been coming to his apartment to drop off some books he had asked for (shortly after he had given you a key). When JJ saw you, her natural curiosity got the better of her - even more so when you stuck out your hand and introduced yourself as ‘Spencer’s girlfriend’ without hesitation. 

The two of you got to talking, and JJ invited you to ‘girls night’. You met Elle and Penelope shortly after. You had become pretty good friends with the three of them before the break-up. 

But Spencer had always felt secretive…. well, protective of you. He didn’t want Morgan teasing him about you, or him wanting to have ‘guy talk’ about things that occurred in the bedroom. Not when it might mean talking about intimate moments with you. Spencer had only introduced you to Gideon over coffee about three weeks before the break-up, and that felt like a lifetime ago. 

Back then, having you, Elle, and Gideon leave his life all in a matter of a few months felt like hell on earth. It felt like being grabbed by his ankles and shaken for all he was worth. He really wasn’t sure that he was ready to see you again. 

It had been four years. 

JJ was someone he could lean on right now. 

“Four years ago.” He told her, completely honest. 

“And how old is the kid?” JJ asked. 

“Four - four years old.” Spencer stuttered out, realizing that now as he was speaking about this very real possibility, he might be breathing more life into it. 

“Oh my god.” JJ sighed. “Well… could it-? I mean…? Did the two of you?” 

It took Spencer a moment to clue into what JJ was talking about. He gave her a sideways glance and she took her eyes off the road for a moment, raising her brows and giving him a pointed look. 

“Please tell me you know what does and what doesn’t make a baby,” JJ groaned. 

“Oh!” Spencer huffed, a small wave of embarrassment flooding him. “Yes! God, yes. I know.” 

There was a moment of awkward silence, and then Spencer felt the need to clarify his answer. 

“We - I mean. We…” He trailed off for a moment, clearing his throat. “We didn’t always use… protection. We were together for three years, at the time, it was on the table.” 

“Kids were on the table for you back then?” JJ asked, clearly shocked by this. “I could not imagine little twenty-four year old Spence with a baby.” 

“Well… it’s something I’ve always wanted.” He mumbled quietly in reply. 

It was true. At the time, Spencer easily imagined himself getting married to you, having multiple kids with you. These days, seeing JJ with Henry and Will brought him the occasional underlying pang of jealousy - but since breaking up with you, there hadn’t been anyone else in Spencer’s life that he could have imagined having kids with. He thought that he was going to be alone and childless for the rest of his life. That the dream was long dead for him. 

“Hey - then, maybe this is a blessing in disguise?” JJ posed. “If we hadn’t been looking through those forms because of this UnSub, you never would have found Y/N again. You wouldn’t even know this baby exists.” 

There was another thing that JJ was dying to ask - something she held back because she felt like it was a touch too personal. (Even if ‘too personal’ was basically how the BAU team lived - knee deep in each other’s business, all the time). 

She wanted to know why you had a baby, a baby that Spencer had very likely fathered, and you hadn’t contacted him about it. Spencer seemed entirely clueless about the child’s existence before now, and JJ knew that because of what his own father had been like, he wouldn’t just blow off a kid that was his if he knew that one was out there in the world. 

So why hadn’t you told Spencer about the baby? 

“What if the kid isn’t yours?” JJ wondered aloud. 

Maybe that would unburden him. She knew that either way, Spencer would fight to protect you from the UnSub. But if the kid wasn’t his - he would walk away again, and he wouldn’t have to be hung up on the heartbreak of dealing with his ex just to parent a child together. 

“Honestly… I think I’ll be more heartbroken if I find out that he’s not even mine.” Spencer told her, his voice quiet and already lulling with that disappointment. 

That was not something JJ had considered. She frowned as she saw the sadness paint across Spencer’s face. 

“One thing at a time, alright?” 

…

When they pulled into your driveway, Spencer’s mind immediately began churning. 

It was a nice house. It was a beautiful, quiet neighborhood. The front yard was clean and trimmed and there was a silver SUV in the driveway with a ‘baby on board’ sticker in the rear window. There was a rocking chair on the porch, but he didn’t see many children’s toys out front on the lawn. He guessed that was a good thing. Letting children play in the front where they could run into the street and potentially get hit by a car was too dangerous. He was glad to already see signs that you were a good mother. 

Spencer felt like he was opening up a book halfway, desperately wanting to be filled in on the previous chapters while having missed so much. Still wanting to read ahead and see more. 

He had already missed so much of your son’s life. He had missed you. That was something forming the biggest knot in his gut. He had truly missed you. The times he had allowed himself to think of you over these past few years - he had missed you so dearly. 

And now the two of you likely had a child together. 

Craning his neck to get a better look, desperately trying to take in more information, Spencer’s eyes were wide and hungry as JJ put the car in park by the curb in front of your house. As Spencer reached for the passenger side door handle, JJ’s phone rang. 

“I have to take this.” She sighed. “You go ahead.” 

She gave Spencer a distinct look that said ‘I know you need a minute alone with Y/N’, and he nodded, stepping out of the vehicle while she greeted whoever was on the other line. He smoothed down his tie - for once in his whole life, he was actually worried about how he looked. Only because he knew that he was going to see you. Perhaps he had only ever felt like this before going on his first date with you. 

He had such a strange lashing of emotions going through him as he approached the door. Fear, anxiety, anticipation. Longing. 

He truly had tried so hard to lock away his feelings for you when you had left. He had tried to move on. He had considered, briefly, in passing, dating other women. There had been times when someone else caught his eye, and he considered asking her out on a date. Morgan had offered to ‘set him up’. Penelope had offered too, telling him that he deserved to ‘get back out there’. 

Whenever she asked about you, his heart freshly cracked open. 

At one point, she had advised him to write a long, Shakespearian letter, pouring out his heart to you in an effort to get you back - one which she would mail. (Because of course, she could get your new address in a heartbeat.) But he didn’t want to experience the heartbreak all over again if you ignored him. He didn’t want to sit, waiting by the mailbox every single day like a lost dog, waiting for you to write him back in return. 

You had disappeared from his life for a reason. Just like everyone else had. For a long time, Spencer convinced himself that he was simply meant to end up alone. 

Perhaps if he had known about your son - a child that could very well be his - then he might have felt differently about getting Penelope to contact you. 

But now he was standing at your front door, his fist shaking as he raised his hand to knock. 

He let out a sharp breath and steadied himself, giving three swift, firm knocks against the door and then trying to wait patiently. His heart thumped inside of his throat, and it felt like forever. 

“Sorry!” Your voice called out from behind the door, muffled. “Sorry, I almost didn’t hear you. I was-” 

You cut off your own words as you opened the door - the moment you caught Spencer’s eye and recognized it was him, pure shock fell across your features, and you froze on the spot. 

You were just as stunning as ever. You had barely aged at all - your hair was different than the last time he had seen you, of course. And you were dressed casually - wearing a simple hooded sweatshirt with a drawstring and a pair of jeans with some fuzzy slipper boots on. But pale blue looked so good on you.

So much like the pale blue dress you had worn on your first date with him. 

You were breath-taking. 

“Y/N.” He greeted you, his throat dry already. 

You didn’t say anything, simply continuing to stare him down with wide-eyed shock. 

Seeing you again, Spencer couldn’t help but to think back to that first date. 

The first night that he knew he was in love with you. 

… 

He had taken you to see the Virginia Symphony Orchestra. 

It was Spencer’s idea of a good time - and it ended up being one of the most beautiful, most romantic, most unique first dates that you had ever been on. 

It was difficult not to fall for him with the beautiful music in the air and his glossy eyes, so sickeningly thick with affection, staring you down all night. 

Afterwards, the two of you stopped to get ice cream at a small shop that was a short walk down from the orchestra. And now you were both enjoying your ice cream as you walked along in the cool night air - enjoying the peace and quiet and the gentle breeze in the darkness. 

It was a perfect night. 

Spencer could think of no better way to spend it than with you. The yellow bulbs of the street lights practically cast a glow onto your skin, the mulberry lipstick now worn off your lips as you brought the pink spoon to your mouth and licked up your sweet treat. 

His stomach was churning with nerves. Joyous nerves. 

And as per usual, when he was nervous - he rambled. 

“You know, Bach actually married his cousin.” He said, spouting off the first thing that came to mind. 

You told him that Bach was one of your favorite composers - it’s why he had thought to bring you to the orchestra on a date in the first place. 

“I did not know that.” You giggled. “So what? Was it like a ‘third cousin twice removed’ type situation?” 

Spencer found himself grinning at the fact that you actually engaged him in the conversation, rather than staring at him with an odd look for bringing up such a strange topic. 

“Not quite.” He replied. “They had the same surname before marriage.” 

“Oh, ew.” You chuckled again, giving a shudder at the thought of this. 

Spencer knew it was an odd topic to discuss on a date, and if he rambled on too much, it might freak you out - but he couldn’t stop himself. His mouth ran away with him, and he continued. 

“He married Maria Barbara Bach, and they had seven children together.” He told you. “His sons, Wilhelm Friedemann and Carl Philipp Emanuel became composers and musicians much like their father, which was actually carrying on a legacy started by Bach’s father himself - who was a seventh generation musician. He was the one who taught Bach the organ from a very young age.” 

“Why don’t people play the organ anymore?” You wondered aloud. “Except in churches, I guess. The organ rocks.” 

Spencer’s brain began rocketing off at the fact that you had asked him a question. A question he could answer. 

“The organ has actually long been associated with divinity.” He replied. “The instrument rose in popularity alongside Catholicism throughout the eighteenth century, and in a sense, that was part of what made Bach a sort of ‘rockstar’ of his time. The religious references in his work, and his mastery of the organ - all of it made him incredibly popular at the time because it caused him to be favored by the church and by royal figures associated with the church.” 

Spencer gleamed a large smile, heavily enjoying that he could share these facts with you. He thought for certain that any moment, you would change the subject or imply that he should stop talking. But instead, you engaged the conversation more. 

“Religious references?” You questioned, wondering what he meant by this. 

“Yes!” Spencer grinned, suddenly very excited by the explanation behind this. “Even in his secular music, Bach would often incorporate the acronym ‘INJ’, a Latin abbreviation that means ‘In Nomine Jesu’, or ‘in the name of Jesus’. It was something he put on all of his manuscripts.” 

You grinned back. You found it fascinating that being around Spencer for such short periods of time caused you to learn so many things. It easily made you want to be around him more. 

“Interesting.” You replied. 

“And his talent on the organ was seen as something that made him ‘divine’ at the time. Divine enough to be worthy of performing for royalty.” Spencer added on. “In 1708, Bach got a position as the court organist in Weimer for Duke Wilhelm. And later when he requested early release from this position, desiring to go work for Prince Leopold of Koethen, the Duke actually had him arrested and put in jail for several weeks in 1716.” 

Spencer laughed at this mental image - the composer being put in jail. 

“Ooh, harsh.” You sighed. “But I guess Dukes have too much power.” 

Spencer let out another bright laugh at this. 

“And see, the interesting thing is, Bach later became the conductor of the court orchestra, in which Prince Leopold played.” 

“So he got his wish,” You replied with a smile. 

“And see-” 

Spencer set off on another rant again, and you couldn’t help yourself. You put your spoon into the cup of ice cream and then you used your now free hand to reach out and grab Spencer by his tie - you pulled him toward you before he could get anymore words out, and he let out a shocked, choked-off sound when you pressed your mouth into his. 

He sighed gently against your lips, and unconsciously dropped his own melting chocolate cone on the ground by his feet as his limp hands drifted toward your waist. He was dizzy, and now every single fact he had ever known about any composer had vanished from his head. In that moment, standing under a random street lamp on a random sidewalk somewhere - all he knew was the soft, pillowy feeling of your lips and the cool night breeze against his skin. 

It was perfect. You were perfect. 

You found his intelligence and the enthusiasm with which he spoke to be so utterly irresistible. You had been on so many dates with men before where they had acted like talking about their interests was a chore. Where they had made it seem like the whole thing was simply a routine, waiting for the end of the night so they could get into your pants. And for them, that’s what it probably was. 

But Spencer was nothing like that. 

He spoke about everything with such intense passion - and you couldn’t resist the urge to try and suck that very passion off his lips. 

When you were forced to pull back slightly, your lungs crying out for oxygen, Spencer let out a gentle moan and began puffing out sweet little pants across your chin as he tried to catch his breath. You kept a hold of his tie, wanting to keep him close, and he stayed there, gently pressing his forehead against yours. 

“That was… wow.” He sighed. 

“I didn’t think I would ever find you at a loss for words, Doctor Reid.” You replied with a giggle. 

“Well, I - you - wow.” 

It was all he could muster, causing you both to break down into laughter. 

Back then - everything had been perfect. 

He had no clue where it all went so wrong.

...

Continue reading: Chapter Two - Liar

[ohisms]

↪     𝐉𝐔𝐒𝐓 𝐎𝐍𝐄 , 𝑰'𝑴 𝑨 𝑭𝑬𝑾 - ᶰᵒ ᶠᵃᵐᶤˡʸ ˒ ᵗᵒᵒ . 𝑤ℎ𝑜 𝑎𝑚 𝑖 ?    (  a  series  of  sentence  starters  from  season  1  of  “ orphan black ” .   adjust  phrasing  as  necessary . will be updated !  )

i wanna see [ name ] .

well , that's not fair , is it ?!

oh my god , you look like crap .

i didn't miss your birthday , did i ?

something really weird just happened at the train station .

what the hell is wrong with you ?

listen to me , [ name ] , i'm only gonna ask you this once .

oh , i'm fine by the way , thank you .

get in the car .

when you don't give a damn , i get pissed .

you'd better be ready . are you ready ?

you're sure as hell overdressed . what , were you out all night or something ?

this shit is as hard as it gets . but you've gotta stop making it worse .

i panicked , what do you want me to say ?

i'm kidding . where's your wit gone ?

you don't have to babysit me , dipshit .

i know this thing's got you all twisted up , but try to forgive yourself .

[ name ] , open the goddamn door !

yeah , the last thing i am is special .

[ name ] , where have you been ?

where have i been ? uh .. long story .

oh , jesus , are you alright ?

you have a few words , [ name ] ? anything you want to express ?

plead your mercy & your pity .

love is imperfection itself .

say it . go ahead , say it's my fault .

who the hell are you ?

of course not . you think we'd let that happen ?

i'm at home , you've got it all wrong .

you know what ? don't . i'm going to ignore that .

i'm worried you're losing the plot again .

sorry , i've got ... i've got a lot of work to do .

i mean , what am i supposed to do ?

you don't have to take this on .

i can't keep waking up every night , checking your breathing , worried you're mixing your meds , booze ... god knows what else .

i knew it was too good to be true .

why would you help such a stupid plan ?

i'm not going to play [ name ] in the middle .

i'm not dirty , i just freaked out .

if there is another version of this story ...

walk me through it again . so i know you won't crack under questioning .

you're making me nervous .

finally ! where have you been ?

who am i speaking to ?

how did you find me ?

idiot . do you even know who you're talking to ?

i don't care who you are .

nope , that is not my responsibility .

go , & wait for a call .

what i'm trying to do is move on .

we have known each other for awhile now , [ name ] .

i nailed it , man . every detail .

come on , [ name ] , give me a little love here !

you know , my skin just breaks out every time i leave downtown .

whoa , hey , [ name ] - you always do this to me !

i don't do backup , i don't even know what backup is !

i got stuck , i was running from my own shit .

i'm not giving you shit 'til you give me some answers .

don't ! do not shoot me , please !

seriously , it's life or death .

am i going insane ?

[stardustdiiving]

How evil is arlecchino and what is she cooking

As of 4.2, I’m really curious what they’re planning with Arlecchino as a character, especially as a villain/antagonist/morally dubious character, and how far/which direction they may go with that

Intuitively my impression is we’ll see her do something way more “villainous” than she presents herself as being for majority of Fontaine’s AQ in front of us right—(which isn’t a surprise given that, you know, Arlecchino nor the House of Hearth have never been presented as 110% ethical LOL) but I find myself not being in complete agreement with most analysis or speculation threads I see about Arlecchino’s morality and the like, level of sinister people seem to ascribe to her.

Idk how to put it, especially in regards to her children I do agree they are not a wholesome found family, that Arlecchino is not above pulling strings or using them for her own ulterior motives, but I kind of hesitate on the idea she only cares about the Hearth children as a means to the end/things she can control and there’s nothing else going on with her characterization wise there. I’m not saying that impression seems remotely unreasonable or unfounded, but just that it feels there’s something intentionally missing in how we are supposed to conceptualize her as a person

My main reasoning for this hunch is the fact they have not elaborated on Arlecchino and the previous Knave—who Arlecchino is stated to have taken over the position from by force. The extra tidbits I think about are that 1) Arlecchino was previously an orphan in the Hearth 2) the previous Knave is described as way, way crueler to the children of than Heart than Arlecchino was from when she took control of the House

Often, people’s major indicators that the House of the Hearth is kind of super fucked up are the NPCs we meet in world quests who are part of it and clearly suffering. But one thing I haven’t ever seen people mention w this that i think is a very interesting detail is, in The Very Special Fortune Slip Inazuma worldquest, where we stop this House of Hearth guy (Efim Snezhevich) from manufacturing tension between Watasumi/the Shogunate to restart the war with his other Hearth subordinates, at the end of the quest we get this dialogue that reveals he had been acting under the previous Knave’s directives:

It’s also mentioned he’s employing this plan in an attempt to “rebuild the prestige of the Knave” following Signora’s death, iirc? Now, see, the dialogue itself says that this is “assuming our captive is telling the truth” so who knows what’s really going on, but I find this a really odd/interesting thing to highlight. I’m a bit fuzzy on other world quests with Hearth members, and am not saying none of them were acting and subsequently being treated poorly by our Arlecchino, but like, this gives me a lot of questions especially when paired with implications this previous Knave seemed to be way worse

Like, what drove Arlecchino to take over? How unexpected and controversial was this within the House? Assuming the above information is all true it definitely says something this guy went rogue and acted on what the previous Knave would want and didn’t think our Arlecchino would greenlight it, which does feel consistent with the previous Knave being described as basically worse & crueler than our Arlecchino. It also makes me question how much house of hearth things we’ve seen outside the main story are the work of our Arlecchino or if there’s a bigger divide of loyalty. Heck, I could be wrong but it doesn’t even seem like we know if the previous Knave is dead or not

This isn’t me saying Arlecchino couldn’t possibly be treating hearth children worse than she wants us to know, especially ones who aren’t her “favorites” the way the fontaine trio seem to be, but I really don’t feel sure about making a solid conclusion of her exact level of malice the way ppl r generally understanding it rn when it feels there’s going to be more about her. Just the idea of she, as a Hearth child, clashed with the previous leader who was known for being cruel, overtook their position and took on less harsh methods of leading that made at least some members with more power/possible closer proximity to the previous Knave go rogue and try to commit atrocities in the previous Knave’s name…I feel this leaves a lot of room to suggest there’s more going on with how Arlecchino is as a person

I don’t mind if she’s just very evil and deceptive bc if she totally had me fall for thinking she was less evil than she actually was that’s fun tbh. But I feel people suggest that’s all her character could be with no degree of like, “sympatheticness” or deep grey morality and that if her character did go there it would be automatically poor writing and genshin walking back on making a truly evil woman when IDK. I feel you can claim at this point they have left it open ended and it’s never been completely confirmed she’s pure evil. Also sometimes I just get a hunch and feel cautiously confident in Genshin executing certain characters well. Not all characters, just certain ones. Especially given Fontaine’s character writing being very good and a character like Lyney feeling very solid to me when any development with Arlecchino would likely involve him and his siblings as well, I honestly feel open to the idea of Arlecchino being satisfyingly written to be both villainous/morally dubious but “sympathetic/likable as a person” in ways outside of just her ruthlessness if that makes sense

If I’m wrong/they drop the ball with it more than I anticipate I’ll eat my hat but I am pretty excited about her character and which way they decide to go with it. I will say the only potential impression I have of where they’ll go with her has been wondering if it will go in a “cycles of abuse” direction—I’d be surprised if they ever elaborated on Arlecchino’s character especially in how she feels about things and her also growing up as an exploited child of the hearth wasn’t relevant

[katyspersonal]

Hey I explored Yahar’gul the other day and I got reminded of smt and idk if we talk about it before.

But it’s about the kids. 

Well lil reminder for people. We know some of the corpses in the chairs of Yahar’gul and the nightmare of Mensis are too small to be foreigners. So euh why do you think they were kids around Mensis & Micolash?

(like the kid here sorry I can't find better pic for now)

I got severals ideas. To put it simply, I wouldn’t be surprised if Mensis took under their wings the kids of Yhahar’gul or even some orphans of Yharnam (that nobody wanted or care) or more simply the children of members from Mensis and indoctrinated the poor lads into their cult as well. (Yes I can picture Mico giving math classes to little kids now, help). 

Don't you worry, /I/ have a better picture >:3

+ The interesting detail about it is that little corpses, presumed children, do not have shackles unlike the adult ones:

Hypogean Gaol literally means 'underground jail' and well, there are jailcells, so maybe these people were literal prisoners! Not to mention the vehicles you find deeper in Yahar'gul being for transporting prisoners!

If you remember, my theory was that Choir used children (orphaned children, specifically!) because they have had a higher chance of being heard by the Great Ones, as well as perceiving them on their own because Great Ones wanted to adopt children, unable to have their own. (According to Miyazaki himself, the general idea is that the more developed species always have less children, so maybe the most developed species could not have any at all, as immortal and perfect beings!) School of Mensis might have had the similar motivation for involving children in it - they would have had a better "connection" with Great Ones, and perhaps attract Great Ones to descend better! Maybe those Amygdalas played with them and let them ride their backs all the time xDDD Lack of shackles on the children does make me think that they were willing, whether it is because Micolash can talk to children (whereas adults will recognize his "bad vibes" fsdhfsd), because they were roped from such a young age they don't know any better or both. Maybe he promised them all a new mom.

Micolash does have shackles himself, though, which is extra interesting because like,... did he need them? My only guess was that he had to restrict himself, expecting pain or instinctive urge to run away. Maybe he was much more scared than we think, which I doubt because the cage is suppressing such urges, so I bet on expected torment. So, again, likely that children had it easier as Great Ones favour them!

^^^ But also, not all children were involved, apparently? The crowds of petrified people in Yahar'gul do have some little boys! I have roughly three ideas:

1) These children were of other kidnapped people, so, not orphaned! Thus, not really fitting the right emotion of loneliness and yearning for a parent that resonates with the Great Ones.

2) It is possible that School of Mensis separated from the Choir, since Damian and Micolash are using Choir tools. They might have also taken many orphans from their Orphanage with them, so they were already subjected to be the "secret thinkers"! (Also imagine every other time some kid gets orphaned, Choir and Mensis having a goddamn competition to snatch them xD)

3) Micolash only really picked children that have shown the "potential". Not everyone will be perceptive of 'smart' ideas about higher plane, ascension etc; even among children some people just do not trust such things or not understand them!

Maybe it is a combination of all three, but I am leaning towards number 1! I do think that the factor of despair was important for people that School of Mensis used. So, prisoners already had their willpower broken, and orphaned children were desperate and lonely. Again - Yahar'gul definitely had a little too many people kidnapped, many are just stuck there petrified without being used in a ritual or having cages. Perhaps Yahar'gul's kidnapped basically everyone, and then Micolash was picking out those he seemed fit for "further use", or "worthy of ascension" rather than leaving them be just a cattle. But of course the other kidnapped people could not just go home, since they've seen too much now.

Not gonna lie, I feel a pit in my stomach after writing this one for some reason. Yeah, my conclusion is a combination of children (especially orphaned) having the best connection with the Great Ones and Micolash cherry-picking the 'intelligent', 'worthy' people. I suspect that not all prisoners were picked, either. I also headcanon Gehrman and Rom as having been orphans, so when it is not one thing (age) it is the other (deeply rooted loneliness since childhood). I just.. well, it is kinda disturbing, isn't it

[eryanlainfa]

A vat7k related question

What do you think is Hugo's gender identity? Cus I want to hear what you think Hugo's gender is and the story behind it.

(I've answered a similar ask some weeks ago so I am sorry for the repeat, I hope it's okay)

With me, when it comes to label headcanons for characters, it always depends! I like to change it depending on the story I want (because sometimes it ties to the plot) and I enjoy every version of them.

◇ But I do have a main headcanon, so let's focus on that one :

I headcanon Hugo as a bigender transmasc. And I believe she is comfortable appearing feminine now BECAUSE he got to transition to a comfortable point for him. Transition he started pretty early on, even before figuring out his own gender. (Taking into account I think most pride labels doesn't really exist in-universe, like the words don't exist yet, queer people are a thing but they don't label themself the way we do now)

◇ As for the story behind it, I'll detail it a bit more than I did last time :

(I forgot if it was a "canon" thing or just widly accepted fanon) We know Hugo is an orphan, and I believe the orphanage he was in wasn't the best environnement ever and perhaps not well taken care of. So as soon as they could they would send the kids to work wherever they could and obviously the more money they made the better. My Hugo was afab and she quickly noticed being seen as a boy gave you more advantage in that regard more often than not. So she didn't want to be seen as a girl anymore and started transitioning the best he could at the time. It had nothing with how she felt about herself, it was purely about what seemed more advantageous.

When Hugo got recruited by Donella for the first time, it had been a long while since he last used a name at all so, upon deciding to take him under her wing, Don is the one who named him Hugo. She also helped him through his transition because over the years simply cutting his hair and binding wasn't enough anymore, which bothered him a lot and he was annoying about it. Thanks to Don, Hugo got to go quite far in his transition pretty quick and he's rather proud of it. Once he reached the point he's at rn he stopped because it wasn't worth doing more, plus he figured passing as a girl could be useful too and at the moment it wasn't hard to go from one gender presentation to the other. And she figured she actually didn't mind being a girl either, plus playing roles is super entertaining to him so not being limited by gender gave him even more possibilities.

Actually I don't think she sees herself as multigender, she probably thinks of it as another tool under her sleeves. He knows not everyone is at ease being anyone, so it gives him an advantage. He's everything at once, and he's very happy being his own thing. If asked he'd probably label himself as whatever feels best at the moment (or whatever's the funniest).

Maybe it does give her a crisis once she settles in Corona because she doesn't have to play a role anymore so she's confused and unsure on what is even left of her but that's another story

◇ And in case you wanted to know why I chose those labels : I simply don't see lots of characters headcanoned as bigender, or even multigender in general (genderfluid Hugo makes me SO HAPPY-), and since I am multigender myself it's something dear to me! Plus I wanted to have fun exploring different ways people view gender and go through their discovery journey, so every member of the gang has a different experience regarding theirs, and yet they all share that trans umbrella together :) in short, I am just having fun lol

[antispopausandstuff]

a discussion ( IMPORTANT )

.

hello, everyone.

i will get to the much more important matter of this first and foremost, and then get into much smaller details after.

if you are not aware, Palestine is suffering a genocide at the hands of Israeli government and military, and Palestine's connection with the outside world has been almost completely cut off after a bombing hit the center that controls all communications.

right now, Palestine is suffering even more bombings. to give you a picture in what has happened to them in detail:

there are now very little reporters and journalists to give word on what is currently happening, and they are getting murdered.

there is no way for the people to call 911 // 101, leaving many to slowly die or not have a chance at coming back.

they have cut off their electricity, water, food, and medical aid. they have left Palestine with nothing.

they have bombed hospitals, and are currently trying to bomb the largest hospital ( with 50,000+ inside ), under the claims ( with no evidence ) that terrorists // the hamas are inside.

since the attacks, over 7000 people ( 2000+ children ) have died, and there are documents of every single one of them. it is said there are even more.

even more is happening, and there are many recordings, articles, photos, etc. of the horrors of this genocide.

children are being buried under rubble in their sleep, they are praying for safety, for help, for protection, spouses are being torn apart, homes older than most of my community are bombed down into nothing. this is not a war. this is genocide.

families are being torn apart. children are becoming orphans. spouses are becoming widows. nothing justifies this, nothing justifies the slaughter of thousands of innocents.

in order to help:

demand a ceasefire ( this will send you to a site that has multiple options on how to help ).

share everything you know about Palestine's suffering. ( a good start is sbeih.jpg )

boycott companies ( the big 3: starbucks, mcdonalds, and disney plus, but please look into more ).

make donations to Palestine. ( there are also fundraisers on all of my instagram accounts )

inform your friends, family, anyone you can of what is happening. do not fall for the propaganda.

it is vital for their survival to do as much as we can to support them, to stand and fight for them. please, do not ignore this. do not look away. do not get used to what is happening. please, please, please do not stop caring for all of Palestine.

free Palestine.

.

i have made the rebranding for this account recently, but before i was aware of this horrifying act of inhumanity. now that i am more knowledgeable of this, it has changed a lot of how i view life.

it doesn't feel appropriate now, to call my take on this show as a story of war, with what i do know. the acts of the horde are very similar, if not exact, to the acts of the government on Palestine.

with this all in mind, how nate has made the original she-ra into what it is "known for" today has me absolutely appalled and disgusted, more than ever before. spop is not a story of love, it is a story of war criminal apologists, and war criminals getting a happy ending, because they were sad. it is a story of glorified propaganda.

it is a love letter to war criminals, no matter how much people want to argue otherwise, no matter what nate's intentions were. it is a disservice to those who have suffered from war, genocide, abuse, military, starvation, abuse of power, amongst many other things.

why am i bringing this up?

to tell you all that my remake will most likely not be out for a long, long time. i do not want to disrespect the stories told by victims, to bring shame to those who do not deserve it, by making the wrong decisions.

the story will definitely not be the next avatar, it will not be the next anything. but i do not want to be careless, or under the pretenses that i "know enough". i want to be a responsible writer, and that means taking responsibility for what i give to my audience.

so, if you've read this, please do not ask me further questions on how my writing for this story is coming along. this will take time, and time is what will be given. you can ask me about various things, of course ( such as what i will do with characters, relationships, etc. ), but i will not speak on what the story will entail or what it will evolve into.

thank you for your support, and stand with Palestine.

[admirableadmiranda]

Hi, not to overstep, i believe you have read the mdzs book. It's not available in my country :/

Could you tell me about a-yuan's adoption. I saw cql and got that lwj found him BM and adopted. Then someone posted that he was still quite weak from whips and gave a'yuan to lxc/lqr to care for him. But they refused, then accepted ?? I do agree a-yuan seems to have the most balanced childhood but i am not sure of his adoption circumstances.

I have read the MDZS book yes. I’ve probably read it about fifty times.

So what happens as we can garner from the text (as it all happens not even in flashback, but in a brief conversation with Wangxian and then alluded to in brief detail when we find out about Lan Wangji branding himself) is that after his whipping after injuring 33 of his seniors post Nightless City, when he found out about the siege, he dragged himself off of his recovery bed and flew to the burial mounds, where he searched for two days before finding A-Yuan. He then flew back to the Cloud Recesses and argued with his family until his family took in A-Yuan as a ward (so A-Yuan is not specifically adopted by any of them, but has the family name and prestige and is most likely raised with the other orphans). We get no indication that Lan Xichen resisted him, although we do get that Lan Qiren opposed the whole situation, which makes Lan Xichen being on Lan Wangji’s side more likely since A-Yuan is already adopted in before the branding incident.

I doubt that he was raised by Lan Qiren or Lan Xichen at all. I’m not sure if it’s due to conservation of characters or people just not putting as much thought into how clans run as I do, but the Gusu Lan Clan has to be pretty big. They have six juniors who are all exactly the same age born into the main family, and more disciples outside of that, as well as the bigger your clan, the more people you need who attend to non cultivation tasks just to keep things running. Most likely while Lan Wangji was in recovery Sizhui was raised by many people in the way that orphans in family communities are, with Lan Wangji stepping in and taking a closer hand as he recovered from his whipping and returned to living his life as always. They are close enough that Sizhui says that Hanguang-jun has been like a father and a brother to him. He may not be textually Lan Wangji’s son, but he is his (and the Lan family’s) ward and that has still granted him a much greater shelter and upbringing than Wei Wuxian ever got.

I hope this helps clarify more. It’s only touched on in a few instances and on topics that aren’t much in common use anymore. It takes a village to raise a child, and in the case of Sizhui, I don’t doubt that that’s exactly what he got.

[0xo]

that post about trying to break cycles by being nothing like ur abuser but actually failing to grow better behaviors... (tw lots of talk of suicide and death, mentions of abuse)

really hitting hard rn considering the death of my uncle who hated his (admittedly terrible) father but ended up perpetuating the same exact bullshit onto his wife and kids. and then died bc he couldn't face that fact. like when faced w divorce and the idea of losing his control over his family he... fucked off and died. (still don't have details on how, unsure if it was on purpose but. signs point to...) [AND PREFACING WITH: i do NOT think all people who die by suicide are cowardly or bad people or anything like that. i am talking about a very specific and complicated situation in my own family. please do not interpret this as me saying that all people who die by suicide were bad people/dodging responsibility/could've "worked harder to improve their situation." i know deeply that that is NOT the case, i have been personally impacted by suicide in other ways. i am just discussing one person and the circumstances around his death.]

and of course im sad, we were close once, he is family. ofc im sad he felt dying was better than trying to sort out his life or trying to be a good coparent. but the way he treated his (very sweet, very patient) wife was deeply unacceptable to me. he isolated her, and didn't properly care for his high-support needs autistic kids, and pinned it all on her. he was terrible to my mother and forced all my grandma's end of life care on my mother. he hurt us a lot with his behavior.

and like. i don't think he necessarily deserved to die bc of it, right? he had his own issues, he cut himself off too and refused help from everyone, these problems run in the family and he knew that and still wouldn't accept help. and you can't MAKE anyone accept help. but i can't help but think that if he'd, maybe, been open to the people who loved him, he could've... restructured. he was so smart, so clever, so creative! he could've done anything he wanted to, he was so good at anything he tried.

and yet. in trying to avoid being like his father. he ended up doing all the same things. and i think that was too much for him to handle. and i hate that, i hate that so much.

he leaves behind two brilliant, brilliant children - they're SO CLEVER. but he couldn't accept their support needs and didn't treat them well. they don't even know he's dead yet, i don't think. but they love him, and he saw them as manipulative and trying to intentionally ruin his life. they're small children. they haven't even developed the capability to manipulate yet, they just want some chocolate milk, right? and yet he compared those kids to his father.

it just hurts. this wasn't necessary. my poor fucking mum is now an orphan with two dead siblings. how is she meant to deal with all this? how is she supposed to reconcile the grief of his needless death with the absolutely shit way he treated her and their mother?

luckily we love his widow very much and we will make sure she and the kids are okay. but i truly don't understand anything. it just sucks balls to watch someone ruin their own life and leave a giant fucked up mess behind. and then everyone's saying sorry and apologizing for my loss, like i didn't lose him years ago, like we were still close, like i'm not angry with the way he treated the people around him. we grew up like siblings. but that connection was basically severed when he started acting like a jackass. i don't know how to respond to people trying to comfort me. they all assume i'm really really sad, and i am, but i'm also pissed off, and i don't think anyone knows what to do with that.

because you're not supposed to be pissed at someone for dying, especially if it's probably suicide, you're meant to be tragically sad. you're not supposed to say they were wrong, you're supposed to apologize for being wrong and not seeing the signs earlier, you're supposed to be sorry. and you're not supposed to speak ill of the dead, even if they were fucking complicated, you're meant to shove all those negative emotions aside to grieve the good of them.

and i do grieve the good of him! i grieve the family member he could've been if he had actually broken cycles! but i'm fucking angry. you don't get to treat everyone around you like shit and then kill yourself to get out of being remembered as an asshole. it doesn't work like that. you're still an asshole, now you're just dead and can't take responsibility for fucking up people's lives. i'm sorry he felt that was the best way out. AND good god, he was a grown man with every opportunity to improve himself. and he chose to stagnate and be fucking mean. dying in a shit way doesn't erase that.

and like, listen, i understand that people are complicated. i don't think everyone who dies by suicide is an asshole. MOST people who do were genuinely failed by the people and systems around them, they weren't bad people, they were in bad situations. they didn't have help or a way out. it's not inherently selfish or evil, it's fucking devastatingly sad.

and mental illness is complicated and hard. like. hm. i don't think it's his fault he was fucked up, it runs heavy in our family, he was traumatized too. but. he talked so much about growing past that and then just... didn't. he had support, he had a good therapist, he talked the talk. and didn't walk the walk AT ALL. he treated people like dirt. and i understand that certain illness our family is prone to, they make it extremely hard to get or accept help, okay? i get that. i really do. but you can't just fall back on mental illness and trauma as an excuse for financially/emotionally abusing your wife and neglecting-to-the-point-of-abusing your children. it wasn't okay when his dad did it and it's not okay that he did it. and what makes it worse is that he was so aware of how fucked up his childhood made him, and self-aware enough to superficially recognize his own faults, but not enough to change how he interacted with people. why must these cycles continue! why!

i'm so angry and so sad. i don't even know my cousins well because he was so ashamed of how poorly he treated them that he cut us off from them. he hated my mum and so held me at arm's length to avoid interacting with her in any capacity. they're sweet kids...

anyways. sorry. im just so so so so so so so so so tired of death in my family and abuse cycles. im so tired in general and these giant unnameable unfathomable emotions don't help. i feel like the suicide element makes it even harder to talk about, because i sound like an absolute cunt for saying any of this to people who don't know the situation. nothing about it is simple. nothing about it is easy. i don't know what to do anymore at all tbh!!!!!!

[positivelybeastly]

The quiet council are really corrupt aren't they? They seem like the kind of people who would risk people's live than their possession of power.

"What country do you come from? You're on a social media platform, typing in fluent English, so I would assume somewhere in what would be considered 'the western world' - America, the United Kingdom, Europe, etc. I do so hate to be the one to educate you, but this describes every single government that ever has, ever will, ever can exist."

"A government's purpose is to unify their country under a coherent policy, and while the details of that policy may change depending on your political leanings, the fundamental truth remains the same - it is the job of government to stay in power.

You leverage your natural resources to remain economically independent, you leverage your skill and expertise to remain in intellectual stride, you leverage your population to remain both militarily independent and maintain a steady growth rate."

"It just so happens that one of Krakoa's greatest natural resources is an infinite supply of mutants with powers that can change the world. People question why must Krakoa be this way, why must we have such a cavalier disregard for life, why must we treat our flesh as disposable - I say that this is a stupid question, because how else can Krakoa be?

Should we treat resurrection as something special, something hallowed? Oh, the sheep can do that if they want, with their bleating about, 'but do we KNOW them?' and their pitiful affirmations that we are anything other than regrown flesh, but anyone with half a brain knows the truth. Every single mutant with a genetic sample in our gene bank and a telepathic back-up in our Cerebro cradles is expendable. How could they not be?

Just as the humans at first treated television or penicillin as the newest wonder of the world at first, but then came to regard it as simply part of their natural born lives, so it shall go with resurrection. And that is correct. The Quiet Council should risk mutant lives. I'd rather they do that than anything inherently valuable."

"That being said, the Quiet Council are fools. Every single one of them is an idiot of the highest order. Spinning their wheels against one another rather than advancing our common good, that's the part I really take umbrage with. Well.

That, and meddling in my business."

Yeah, this is one of those things where, that's just the story. Every single member of the Quiet Council - and yes, I am absolutely including the 'good ones' like Storm, Jean Grey, Nightcrawler, Xavier, Magneto, etc - is a corrupt piece of shit with warped morality, and yeah, it's partly because that is . . . sort of, what modern government 'requires'?

It's hard to be ethical in a modern political scene, it really fucking is, especially if you want to be successful. You don't make friends by telling the people you want to rally behind you not to accept bribes, not to stab each other in the back, to put the people's interests before their own, etc. A degree of compromise is required to get anywhere.

But that being said, fuck all these fuckers.

Every single one of them signed off on Beast's genocide of Terra Verde. Jean Grey, vaunted 'heart' of the X-Men, just slapped him around a bit with telekinesis, and then left him to go on to do worse and worse things.

Every single one of them signed off on Beast's space prison (SERIOUSLY, FUCKING JUSTIFY THAT TO ME, MARVEL, THAT IS SO FUCKING EGREGIOUS).

They only turned on Beast when it affected someone that they all know, Logan. They only began to care when it was one of their own that got hurt in his machinations. And even then, they were still more than happy to let him act as a rogue agent against human interests rather than take him down.

And that's just in X-Force and Wolverine. Emma's manipulation of Havok and Empath for her political gain, anyone? The sheer rank fucking hypocrisy of sending Orphan-Maker to the Pit for the crime of killing two humans, of sending Havok to the Hellions for the crime of injuring three others, while X-Force just gets to do whatever it wants?

The sheer rank, vile hypocrisy. When fucking Nanny shows more care for people than you do? That's how you know it's fucked up.

Oh, shut the fuck up, Scott. You spent the Krakoan era schtupping Logan and Jean and playing war games instead of taking care of your brother - and you're either too much of a pussy to stand firm and tell him that Maddie's bad for him, or too blind to see that she's making him worse.

Either way, I don't want to hear shit about people not being pawns from the guy who formed the Utopia X-Force.

This also gives me an opportunity to talk about one of my favourite moments in the Krakoan era for Beast. Ready?

When the Director of X-Force, the Butcher of Terra Verde himself, is telling you that you failed your people because of political expediency, then I'm sorry, but you fucked up.

I'm really glad you feel bad about this, Emma.

Now fucking do something about it.

Fucking bullshit biotechnological oligarchy with fucked up morals and fucked up ethics and a fucked up death pit and a fucked up council and a fucked up everything.

People often complain about the Krakoan era not having great villains (Orchis got notably less threatening when they became just a palette swapped Sinister's army of palette swapped AIM beekeepers), and while that's true, there's an argument to be made that every single time someone stepped into the Quiet Council, you were being faced with twelve villains sitting at their desks, because they do not come out of the Krakoan era looking good.

Enough of them voted in favour of what X-Force did, or were happy to allow it complete carte blanche (which is just as bad if not worse), that I hold each and every one of them responsible.

Great story beats. Infuriating, in the way that all good political critique is. More of that, please.

[fryandleelasbigfling]

on fry, leela, and the baby carriage (pre-hulurama)

aka “jen infodumps about her freela parenting headcanons for a very long time”

i think about this a lot. other people in the fandom think about this a lot. if fry and leela do get permanently married and settle down... would they ever have kids? could that work in the narrative, somehow?

this is, in my opinion, a complicated question, but one that i think would be utterly fascinating for the show to address. and to explain it, i’m going to talk about leela and fry’s individual trauma surrounding family, the struggles this would cause them in trying to have kids, and whether they would want to give it a shot anyway.

this is going to be a very long post.

leela

i’m gonna be honest. leela has mom energy. i think this is the inevitable reality of any character played by katey sagal, but the show itself has leaned into this characterization several times -- bender sarcastically calling her “mom” in “fry am the egg man,” and of course “2d blacktop” making an entire joke about her suddenly acting like a soccer mom (though her character writing in that episode is a bit weird... i think it’s the Written By Men of it all).

but despite this, leela has a bit of a complicated relationship with the idea of motherhood. there are two episodes where she’s been convinced to conceive a child under the guise of repopulating her species. i obviously don’t count these instances towards her wanting to be a mother because A) it was out of obligation and she never suggests otherwise and B) she didn’t properly consent to either situation. 

her excitement to start a family with adlai gives a bit more credence to the idea she would genuinely want kids. in fact, she even gets the idea to adopt because of her own experience as an orphan.

however, this is complicated by how superficial her relationship with adlai was. was she genuinely excited to be a mother at this point? or was she just happy that her very normal childhood crush wants to start a nuclear family with her? is it about her actual feelings, or is she just doing what she thinks she’s “supposed” to do?

there’s also the fact she has no emotional connection (so far) to her biological offspring with kif, consistently calling them “her DNA” rather than “her kids.” this is because culturally, they’re amy’s kids, and i like that she (and the narrative) respects that they came from kif and amy’s love. it’s almost guaranteed that the tadpoles will return and i think it would be very interesting to address leela’s relationship (or lack thereof) with them. after all, part of her connection to motherhood in several of these situations is that it’s what’s expected from a committed, loving, normal relationship -- if she has a loving husband and good kids, it means she proved that she’s a lovable, capable woman after all. her accident with kif doesn’t mean any of that. 

despite these nuances, it’s clear leela is an extremely caring, dare i say maternal (no matter what her sims 3 counterpart says) person. it’s a core trait that she will do anything to take care of what she perceives as a helpless animal, probably because she spent decades without anybody to take care of her. she coddles nibbler like he’s her own baby boy, and the way he refers to himself as the “object of [her] misplaced affections” is primarily about her lack of a boyfriend, it also kind of leans into him as her substitute baby, especially since she seemingly has this hover pram thing already set up:

she was good at babysitting the de-aged coworkers in "teenage mutant leela's hurdles." she also obviously connects very strongly to the kids at the orphanarium and wants to be a good role model to them. she connects with the young jrrr and even outright says she hopes he always sees her as his mama (before he drops the detail that his species eats their mothers). 

in “the bots and the bees,” she’s the only one who isn’t fully repulsed when bev gives birth, jumps up to help her out, and is generally the most interested in bender’s journey through fatherhood. while this is because she’s a naturally helpful person with a lot of personal hangups about parenthood, i just think it’s worth noting here.

she also gushed over the nannybot back in the fox era!

even in “meanwhile,” despite a later joke that i’ll discuss later, her response to the unexplained glimmer is “if it keeps bugging us, we'll either kill it or adopt it.” literally right after their wedding, i love it so much.

i also have to bring up the futurama comics because, while they are only debatably canon, there are multiple instances that pretty much confirm that leela wants kids. issue #26 (my favorite comic hands-down) sets up leela being forlorn about the fact she isn’t close to falling in love and having a family, playing on the “biological clock” trope.

however, after the harrowing ordeal of raising her own infant and teenage selves (god i love this comic!), she stops obsessing over her biological deadline and just lives in the moment, appreciating herself. i love that! 

even more explicit is issue #62. this comic sets up that leela wants to be a mom despite the rest of the crew not thinking she’s sensitive enough to be one. (personally i think it’s kind of shoehorned dialogue and that fry is OOC to talk to leela like this at this point in their relationship, but it is very, very comics-canon that leela wants kids.)

the plot of the comic is basically she gets amnesia, zapp claims her and convinces her that she’s his wife and they have three teenage robot kids. it’s a bit of a weird plot and it’s a weak zapp characterization imo, but it does establish that leela works well taking care of the kids and they get very attached to each other to the point she wants to have a biological baby of her own. 

she’s not in a fully lucid position though and she could very well just be leaning into the tradwife role because she doesn’t know anything else until later. however, when she does get her memory back, she obviously rejects zapp violently, but she is genuinely endeared to the robot kids to the point of crying. so this probably goes beyond just leela wanting to prove she can do something she was told she can’t do.

(granted the comic does have this as the punchline but it’s pretty clear that as caring as leela is, she’s got a lot on her plate which would get in the way of her being a mother in her actual working life)

there’s also an extremely cute comic where everybody becomes a scout leader and leela leads a bunch of mutant scouts and it gets me feelsy. it’s literally the issue right before the mommy leela one. something on the writers’ minds i guess.

so does this mean leela should be a mom? honestly, i would like to see her accept that she doesn’t have to be a mom to have worth in her life, but she still wants to be, once she feels ready to do so. a lot of leela’s arc is learning that she doesn’t have to fit someone else’s idea of a perfect woman, or a perfect family, or a perfect love life, just to stop being lonely -- she needs to lean into what makes her feel confident and happy. if she feels fulfilled taking care of a child, then she should go ahead and do it. not out of obligation towards the universe or towards the “good, respectable woman” mold -- just cuz it would make her happy. (this is why, if her role as “the other” really is referring to her needing to be a mom to fry’s child for some sort of Chosen One prophecy, i really hope they don’t play that straight, because i very much want leela’s autonomy to be a focus of any arc dealing with her being a mother and i do not want her to be forced into it after multiple other episodes where she almost gets tricked into conceiving a child.)

i can see her struggling with perfectionism about it, though. we see in issue #26 that she struggles to calm her baby self and communicate with her teenage self and i think not knowing exactly what to do would put a lot of stress on her because she’s so used to being the one who has everything together. i think she might have to reel herself in from lashing out and then feel guilty about not being an “ideal” loving mother.

“teenage mutant leela’s hurdles” shows her deliberately trying to live out what she thinks a “normal” teenage youth entails because she never got that as an actual child, and i wonder if she would project these same ideal expectations onto her own child, particularly if she had a daughter. (i do think fry is good at helping her outgrow this desire to fit a particular mold, though, as are her parents.) she’s also really obsessed with being a good role model (”a leela of her own,” “yo leela leela”) and i can see her worrying that any fault of her child is a reflection of her “failures” as a parent.

it’s interesting to think that leela probably never expected to have biological kids due to being the last of her kind (though i do headcanon she once had a pregnancy scare with sean). but i also headcanon that mutants don’t have a lot of kids, as we don’t see many, if any kids in the sewers (barring an issue or two in the comics where mutant kids show up). it would make sense because A) a lot of mutants don’t want to bring kids into their life situation, B) they can mutate enough to live for very long times so reproducing isn’t as needed, and C) i don’t think a lot of them want to or even can have sex with each other, ha ha. i can see there being a lot of pressure from her parents, because they probably also want to live vicariously and actually be able to raise a baby like they always wanted to, especially on the surface. 0′)

i don’t think her being a “strong independent woman” is at odds with this arc, either, as long as it’s not treated as an obligation. bojack horseman has a great example in princess carolyn of a character who still wants to have a family despite being a career woman who is incredibly attached to her work, and she doesn’t have to give either of it up if she has people to support her. i think it helps that we have amy to contrast, as she didn’t want kids (despite ending up with them, though i suspect kif will be the one taking care of them). 

(also, female writers. that goes a long way in making an arc like this not come across as a derailment.) 

fry

there is much more to say about leela than fry because they haven’t done as much with this subject when it comes to him. sure, he has a son, technically, but y’know... it’s his dad, and he never sees that as anything but a weird sexual encounter he had in the past.

but i do think fry would want kids with leela, especially if that’s what she wants. there’s a one-off line that implies he’s not opposed to this in “the cyber house rules,” though this is before he (knowingly) sees leela as anything more than an attractive coworker and doesn’t care much about long-term goals yet. it’s really more a joke about fry just being extremely persuasive (especially given how he gets roped into bender’s mass adoption scheme). 

but the actual biggest thing that makes me wanna see fry as a dad: he is so, so, so attached to taking care of things, usually in the context of animals in need. he saved seymour from starvation, brought the orphaned leelu out of depression, and protected mr peppy at the risk of his own life. creatures are naturally drawn to him for some reason, probably because he’s got such a big heart and lacks the reservations most people have. he connects to animals at their level and doesn’t have the confidence to act superior most of the time. i think this can easily be applied to kids as well. 

“fry am the egg man” is probably the most glaring example of this, because he immediately latches onto the egg when he learns the egg has a chance of hatching. (which kind of raises some “pro-life” questions that aren’t necessarily contradictory to fry’s political upbringing, but i think He Could Outgrow That in the right situation, ideally.)

his initial plan is to eat it but he does genuinely get so attached and protective and it’s sweet to me. he does drop it at the end and quickly detach but i think this at least shows that he has a real sense of love even if his sense of responsibility and focus can slip sometimes. (this is where i remind the audience that leela lays eggs according to “leela and the genestalk” so fry being good at raising eggs could be very useful there)

fry grew up with a very inconsistently-affectionate, often emotionally neglectful family. like leela, he doesn’t have a really clear reference point of what a good family unit entails, but he isn’t self-aware enough to seek it out. he can be reckless and indulgent, and that often puts whatever he’s caring for at risk, but he is loving. we know from his behavior towards leela (and bender, and even a few of his other girlfriends) that he will put his life on the line for what he loves. and i think if he had a baby with leela, it would mean so much more to him, because he loves leela so much i don’t think he would want any child of hers to be in danger. he just needs to be able to recognize what danger is.

one of the comics i didn’t bring up yet is issue #32, which introduces us to the closest thing we have to a canon freela baby: leelan von fry-bot, a hybrid clone mixed with fry and leela’s DNA (so not the result of nookie😔) that also takes over a bender copy’s body and overthrows humans for oppressing him like a boss. anyway my point is that fry’s initial reaction to having a kid isn’t more than “oh cool this means leela and i have sex” (and thus getting slapped bc their dynamic is still kind of like that by this point in the comics), but when leelan gets apprehended, he straight-up forgives the little genocidal maniac. 

i don’t think fry really thought of himself with kids before leela. pre-canon, i don’t think he expected to settle down or have any committed relationship that didn’t exist for the purpose of mooching and surviving. i do think, if he did have a child, fry always saw himself with a son (again, not counting yancy sr). there’s a joke in “the route of all evil” that is analogous to him wanting a son (”i hope it's a lager, so I can take it to a ball game”), and in FATEM, he specifically wants the egg “to blossom into a beautiful young man, like [he] did as a baby.” it’s just easier for him to project that way and i think the culture of his house (i.e. the persistence of the yancy fry name) would put a lot of expectations on the boys to have sons. i think not having a son would surprise him but he’d still get so excited. he’d probably expect his daughter to be an action hero as much as leela does (though i think his expectations are way lower). 

we also see in later episodes that while he represses it, fry really does miss having family and gets very quickly attached to the family he does have ("near death wish," "game of tones") so i think having a kid, especially biological offspring, would shake him to his core in a way he didn't expect could ever happen. it helps solidify to him that leela truly is his family now.

there’s also a gag early in the comics when they need to get more humans on earth and it’s implied fry asks leela to repopulate the planet but otherwise idrk if there’s much specifically with him and kids. 

there’s the other joke in “meanwhile” where he implies it’s good they didn’t have children because they might get violent with them (and admittedly they have gotten a bit aggressive with kids in the past, i.e. leela trying to hit cubert), but personally i don’t think fry would do that, even if it’s been implied domestic abuse was uncomfortably normalized for him. leela might be tempted but i think she can reel herself in. and the reason i think they didn’t have kids in the meanwhile timeline is just because it would be too risky to bring a child into a universe where nobody else is sentient and able to help them out, especially after fry and leela die. 

so my conclusion is that fry might not be knowledgeable on the traditions and necessities of healthy parenting right away, but i think he would try to learn. he clearly tries to learn for the people he loves, even when it’s hard, and making leela happy is his top priority. he doesn’t want her to get stuck with all the hardship (even if she’s still gonna be better at organization and the like). and i think he has such an earnest, unfiltered sense of love that he can connect to his own children immediately. and i think they’d sense that.

here’s a fry kid dogpile for extra cuteness

the narrative potential

fry and leela having kids has been thrown around the writers’ room a lot, according to commentaries. now most of this information i’ve gotten secondhand as i haven’t listened to most commentaries or read older interviews as much. there is an interview/commentary (i forget specifically which) where the writers joke that fry and leela would not be good parents because they’d either be dragging their kids with them on dangerous space missions all the time or leaving them home for long periods of time. (edit: there's also this 2010 bit where DXC says he doesn't want them to "[have] a baby and [move] to the suburbs" or anything for the show's sake lol)

this is an extremely understandable reason not to give fry and leela kids. it’s already bad enough when you overthink where cubert and dwight are during farnsworth and hermes’ various adventures, and fry and leela both work so this is an obstacle. there are ways around this practically -- get leela’s parents or even nibbler to babysit, or get a hologram or something as a proxy, or even have fry stay home at times. but it changes up the dynamic of the show in ways that might be hard to adapt to, especially if they’re already doing something similar with amy and kif. plus, they probably don’t wanna make fry and leela too domestic -- i know they worried about that back in season 6 which led to all the on-and-off stuff, but i think now their concern is just staying sci-fi and not simpsonsy.

but they’ve also, reportedly, teased the idea before, and i think the changing landscape of adult animation (a bit more room for serialization and more serious story elements, which futurama always dabbled in even before other shoes did). rumor has it that the original plot of “law and oracle” involved fry and leela’s son coming back from the future (and i think talking backwards or something???), but it was scrapped for i believe being too dark. i think a time traveling child is a great way to avoid the status quo shift of raising a child, even though it would be pretty big and tragic for fry and leela to meet their child and then watch them go knowing they won’t exist for several years. it’d be funny to see their child try and ensure their conception, or maybe even prevent it in some sort of twist on the trope. (this is one of my theories for “the temp.”)

we’ve seen hints of them as parents in “the route of all evil” where they both get hype about bender’s analogous pregnancy with beer, though they’re also excited to... have beer, lol. also some of my friends read a lot into the way they look at tonya in “stench and stenchability” and i do not blame them for that.

this concern about the status quo is also where adoption can come up again, as i can totally see fry and leela adding some wayward teenager to their family, someone just self-sufficient enough to not be too much of a detriment to the crew. i know the orphanarium kids are all adopted (though they could easily go back on that) but ideally i’d like them to adopt a mutant kid; i think it would mean a lot to leela for obvious reasons. maybe an alien or a robot, even. it doesn’t need to be formal adoption -- i can see them just picking up some lost little outcast guy because they feel bad he has nobody to raise him. maybe not for the rest of the series but even for an episode it’d be funny.

however, i think the idea of them having biological kids is utterly fascinating. is there precedent for a mutant breeding with a normal human? if leela “occasionally lays an egg,” what other weird stuff happens with her reproduction system? having an egg to carry could be another way to make the baby plot easier without incapacitating leela and fry too much after all. (and like i said before it’d be so cute to imagine fry carrying around an egg all protectively... like the dad in harvey beaks.) i think more people should take advantage of leela’s mutant genetics and give their offspring a bit more of her latent mutant traits, or traits from her parents’ side. more tentacles and tails and sheddable skin! hell, give them three eyes like leela’s grandma!

(but i think leela actually being pregnant would be interesting too. you know she’d be even more emotionally fucked up than usual on hormones, and would get so stubborn about not being incapacitated and not needing help even though fry keeps wanting to dote on her. also i wonder if mutant pregnancy would be different at all? radioactive morning sickness? fun! it would make some aspects of the show harder to work around though, like i do not know if she could fit behind the wheel while pregnant without making weird adjustments, and i also worry about the infamy behind the whole MWC pregnancy arc, but i don’t think that same uncomfortable and traumatic risk translates to animation.)

and what about fry’s genetics? does his child inherit the lack of delta brainwave? this comes up a lot in freela baby talk, especially with the “chosen one” theory, that fry’s brain thing and leela’s mutant thing might combine in some world-saving combination. again, i’d rather this be deconstructed, because nibbler trying to coax fry and leela to have babies for the sake of the universe is amusing but also pretty fucked-up, and we know fry doesn’t like being used and leela has already had this kind of deceptive thing happen to her before. i want them to do this because they want to, not out of some debt to the universe. that’s way too much pressure on them and their kid.

even putting that aside, i can see both fry and leela having insecurities about having a child, especially biologically. leela of course has her mutant/cyclops trauma and aforementioned perfectionism, but i think fry would be worried too about “ruining” their child with his own mental issues. i can see a sitcom type of story where they try to conceive (maybe with some weird sci-fi assistive technology) but start panicking when it doesn’t work and blaming themselves. one of my theories for “parasites regained” is that fry only takes the worms again when he’s trying to get leela pregnant, because he knows leela loves him for him by now, but he still wants to make sure their child is as perfect and healthy as can be. (i could even see a twist with leela also taking the parasites due to having these same issues.) honestly them getting pregnant on accident (and you know fry’s pullout game weak) would also throw them for a loop.

there’s also the complicated drama and fun of bender getting jealous of fry putting his attention towards not just his wife, but some smelly brat he put inside her. bender sometimes has the vibes of being fry and leela’s bratty teenage son so i love him interacting with their kid like a bitter older brother.

even if they don’t give fry and leela a kid, i could see them bait-and-switching the audience cuz they know it’s such a big deal to some people. like leela seems to have pregnancy symptoms but it’s really just some weird facehugger possession or womb horror. or they catch a glimpse of their future and think they see themselves with a kid but it’s out of context. or they knock fry up instead cuz they love making the guys pregnant instead. i have this joke idea for when the kif babies come back that leela seems to get baby fever really bad, but it’s a literal fever she contracted from the amphibiosian swamp and it’s only cured by the insanity of babysitting the kif babies. 

honestly if they decide they’re not ready to have kids, if they’re not emotionally stable enough or they don’t have a good place to live or if they’re worried about bender or their careers, i’m fine with that. i’d actually love them communicating and deciding on that together! i think it’s just an interesting subject to explore and i really hope the revival does something with it. :)

[lostmyremembrall]

congratulations on 1K! you definitely deserve it! I absolutely adore your characterization for tom, and am always so excited whenever you post!

I would love to join the event if it's still going on! could i request the diadem (👑)? my name’s jennifer, im a slytherin, and i grew up with tom at wools orphanage. im physically affectionate, love to read and explore, and i like to joke around, lightly flirt with, and tease people. i normally keep most people at arms length though, so its rare for me to become close to anyone. when i truly care for someone though, i love to spoil them and spend time with them. i normally seem unapproachable, but im actually pretty friendly. im sure that after enough time has passed, id have fallen for tom, but i don't think he'd be interested, so im sure id bottle it up inside of me.

sorry if thats too detailed! i got carried away thinking about it! would it be possible to do tom riddle era (1930's - 1940's)?

once again, thank you for the fun event, and i hope you enjoy writing for our lord and savior tom riddle as much as we all enjoy reading your stories! 💚

👑𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐇𝐨𝐠𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐬 𝐘𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐬

𝓙𝓮𝓷𝓷𝓲𝓯𝓮𝓻

A/N: Thank you so much for your request! As I was writing this, I kept thinking how perfect of a pair you and Tom would make! But alas, you've asked for a diadem so I'll stick to your storyline of unrequited love.

I am sorry this took so long, and I appreciate your patience! I'm also sorry that this got rly long. I feel like it ended up being more like a fanfic rather than an HC. If you're not happy with it, or feel like this character isn't really you (especially the decision you make to forgive Tom at the end), feel free to DM and I'll redo it!

𝐶𝑜𝑚𝑒 𝐽𝑜𝑖𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑒 1𝐾 𝐸𝑣𝑒𝑛𝑡! Now closed

𝐎𝐫𝐩𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐠𝐞 𝐘𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐬

You were born the same year as Tom. With Tom's birthday being the last day of the year, you are always older than him, a fact Tom's not particularly fond of.

It took a long time for Tom to come around, but he had plenty of time to observe you and understand you as a person before approaching you for an alliance.

Needless to say, surviving an orphanage in the 1920s brought you and Tom close.

You two had to stick together in these hard times if it meant surviving your childhood. The malnutrition. Cholera. Tuberculosis. The flu. There were plenty of opportunities for either of you to die.

When the two of you were being scolded by Mrs. Cole, you two would hold hands together in solidarity.

Even with your eyes turned to the floor, you knew Tom was next to you, going through the same thing. And that was comfort enough for the two of you.

That meant if either had a chance to steal some food from the local vendors, you were sharing it.

One time, Tom managed to steal a candy bar called 'Milky Way' from America.

As malnourished children, the two of you ate that up in minutes.

It's one of your fond memories, hiding in the alleyway after school as the two lick your fingers clean.

Tom knew you were loyal, a trait he most appreciated about you. He knew that whatever he did to other orphans, you weren't going to rat on the Matron.

Tom displayed his magic first, and of course, he showed it to you and you only.

When you displayed your magic, he was disappointed at first, that he wasn't the special one.

But, as soon as he realised that his magic was superior to yours (and everyone's, the nerve of him), he grew to appreciate that he can share this with his closest friend.

--

It felt like winning the lottery when you both got the visit from Dumbledore.

The world was your oyster, free to explore and take to your content with Tom.

Visiting Diagon Alley together, and shopping for Hogwarts as you two experienced everything new, is also one of your cherished memories.

A sense of solidarity brought you two even closer, to challenge and learn about the new world together. You two were literally inseparable.

A lot of your time is spent with Tom, exploring the wizarding world, whether through books or in real life.

After spending your first night in the Slytherin dorm, you and Tom met up to discuss. You both agreed that, in order to survive this pureblood frenzied house, it would be wise not to disclose about the muggle orphanage you two grew up in.

𝐀𝐜𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐜𝐬

You are an excellent student, always learning and reading.

Professors do notice your teasing remarks in class when someone embarrasses themselves. But, some professors enjoy your comments and are more lenient than others as long as it's not too disruptive.

You're quite good at Care for Magical Creatures.

After having to take care of some creatures during class, some of these beasts really grew on you.

You spoil them by stealing some food from the kitchen or the Great Hall, giving them a taste of "real food" as you say.

In the later years, when you and Tom stopped sneaking into the kitchen, this comforted you and replicated the endearing memories of sharing food with Tom.

Being the high-achieving Slytherin that you are with the actual ability and interest in classes, you easily make it to prefect.

Dumbledore is somewhat cautious of you, suspecting that you might be enabling Tom.

𝐑𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬

You may be intimidating at first, but you end up being quite popular as people figure out that you're friendly and kind, unlike some of the Slytherins.

Your jokes and teases are funny, and everyone knows it's always a fun time when you're involved.

Others may think they know you quite well.

But, you know that they don't know the real you. You wouldn't call them your close friends.

Really, the only person that would fit that category is Tom, who's practically known you for your entire life.

With your fun, flirty nature and teases, some people turn bright red, not used to the direct advances. And they love that. They love your attention and tease.

Needless to say, you get quite a few letters from secret admirers.

(𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝) 𝐑𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐓𝐨𝐦

The first few years felt just like before with Tom, just in a different environment.

Sneaking out of the dorm at night to explore the castle.

Stealing some late-night dessert from the kitchen to eat on top of the Astronomy Tower, enjoying the sugar that is definitely a luxury back home.

Sneaking into the Forbidden Forest. Exploring Hogsmeade.

Only Tom got your special attention. You would spoil him with your time and love and gifts.

Tom was the same. He truly cared for you and you only, and he expressed his appreciation for you in a similar way.

Before you go to sleep, you'd find a small box, hidden underneath your pillow.

However Tom got into the girl's dorm will remain a mystery.

Sometimes, they're notes detailing the earnest feelings he couldn't confide to anyone else. His anxiety. His fears. His joy.

Oftentimes, they're expensive jewellery, maybe purchased, maybe stolen.

"The prettiest jewellery for the prettiest girl I know"

The note would say in a childish attempt at being suave.

But, starting 4th year, things began to feel different. He's grown tall. His intellectual eyes always looking straight ahead. His sharp cheekbones and jawlines signalling his approaching adulthood.

You began to feel a flutter in your heart every time he caught your eyes in class.

--

At the same time, you noticed a change in Tom as well. You couldn't quite place it, but it felt like he was growing out of your reach.

Like you weren't just two kids that goof around anymore.

Some would say that's only natural as children begin to recognise the changes and differences between the genders. But, you felt like there was something more than just that.

He would spend hours in the library, researching something.

It no longer seemed like having fun exploring with you was the priority for Tom, as he focused on his studies and his achievements.

His talents were unheard of, and you felt the bitterness that he was going to places you cannot follow.

He would still hang out with you, though it was no longer just you he hung out with. Abraxas Malfoy, Lestrange, Avery, and a few other Slytherins began taking up Tom's time.

It seemed like they were meeting late at night without you. When you inquired Tom about it, he merely chuckled,

He'd lift your chin up with his fingers with a smirk

"Wouldn't want to join some vulgar conversation of teenage boys, do you?"

You'd freeze under his teasing gaze. Who wouldn't?

Taking your silence as a cue for agreement, Tom would run his thumb over your cheeks.

"Now, smile - for me."

Countless times you've thought about telling him, writing to him about how you felt about him.

But, you'd see his large shoulders, hunched over the table as he focused on assignments or creating new spells

And every time, you'd end up swallowing the words, knowing Tom had his mind set on things greater than romance.

--

It's in the late 5th year when you begin to worry about Tom's mental health.

One night, he comes bursting into your room. Agitated, he is pacing back and forth in front of you.

He knows your loyalty, so he knew he could only come to you to open up about the murder he's just committed.

It finally dawns on you what had been distancing you from Tom this whole time.

It was his hidden obsession with his family line, the Dark Arts, his rage and vengeance: all of the things Tom had kept from you this whole time.

You place a comforting hand on his trembling cheeks as he looks up to you with teary eyes, almost pleading silently, as if begging for your forgiveness. Your acceptance.

As you look into his eyes, his face line still retaining a bit of that youthful innocence, you'd wonder 'where it all went wrong.'

Where did your Tom go? That endearing boy who would steal candy bars for you. That kind, protective boy who would gift you jewellery, calling you his 'one and only.'

You seriously pondered, whether you recognised the Tom in front of you. Whether you were ready to forgive him.

But still, you couldn't get the image of his kind smile out of your mind. The way he used to smile before it all went to shit.

His soft lips curved in a similar way, still. His eyes still shimmered innocently, still.

In the end, you made him promise not to delve into Dark Arts again. It ends here.

And that he'll come to you whenever his rage and vengeance overtook him.

Tom flashed the most beautiful smile up at you. A tear pouring out in relief.

He took your hands and hastily pressed his lips to it, causing you to feel a clenching pang in your heart.

"I promise, Jennifer," he said with a smile. "I won't let you down."

We all know that Tom wouldn't keep his promise.

[fourleafclovxr]

anadil, hester, and dot! for the ask game

Headcanon A:  realistic

anadil: i think i first read this in one of ren's fics? but anadil is so incredibly royalty-coded. i think she's the kind of person who's like, rejecting the path that was set out for her. so that's why she's willing to be a sidekick, she's not looking for glory and being known, she could have that as a princess. she just wants to be her own person.

hester: she's not really pure evil. her evil was something she worked for, learning spells and potions etc etc, and not something she was naturally born with. i like the idea of her working to be better than her mother (hansel and gretel's witch), i think it's touched on in tlea?

dot: her power actually reaches way further than she thinks. like, she could turn someone's blood into hot chocolate kind of power. but she doesn't know because she's dot, she never wanted to hurt anyone, so she never tried. i just like the idea of her being more powerful than everyone else!

Headcanon B: while it may not be realistic it is hilarious

anadil: went on a date with / tried dating beatrix once (and actually had fun) (and pissed hester off so much she asked anadil out instead)

hester: gets love letters from all the evers who think her goth vibe is hot (it is!) she gives the sweets and flowers and stuff to dot, and the letters themselves to anadil to deface and send back.

dot: not sure if this is funny :[ but i like the idea of her having an advice column (like aunt agony). i think it could be funny if the right person wrote it, unfortunately i am not that person sjdkfsh

Headcanon C: heart-crushing and awful, but fun to inflict on friends

anadil: watched her grandmother (the witch who got killed in that barrel) (who probably raised her. i imagine anadil as an orphan) die, and became withdrawn and quiet because of it. she was basically an outcast until she went to SGE and joined the coven.

hester: not sure on the Details but i imagine she went through some pretty terrible things to get her demon. like got Magical Surgery to get it intertwined with her soul and sat through getting the actual tattoo- at what? age twelve? younger than that? like, she was so motivated to have power and to keep herself safe (also as an orphan, since her mother died probably when she was young) that she was willing to go through excruciating pain and make all those sacrifices. ouch.

dot: developed her food powers as a coping mechanism- having chocolate as one of the only happy parts of her childhood, maybe her dad (the sheriff of nottingham and an asshole) gave her chocolate when he was proud of her? and she just internalised that because after a while her father didn't care enough to give her chocolate. she had to make her own.

Headcanon D: unrealistic, but I will disregard canon about it because I reject canon reality and substitute my own.

anadil: she has a good fashion sense! she's sleek and trendy and professional! she even dresses hester up sometimes

hester: she's trans baby! (this is unrealistic because of soman's terrible, terrible ideas about gender)

dot: i like to think she and kiko get together. idk i think nice girls deserve to be happy with other nice girls.

[violence-as-a-love-language]

Prompt 6: Idioms; Miss the Boat

By: @violence-as-a-love-language (Team Grey)

Summary: Black Pete and Lucius discuss what could have been if they weren't pirates.

/////////

"Hey, Pete?"

"Hmm?"

"You ever think about… what we could have been? Y'know, if we'd never become pirates?"

Black Pete snorted a laugh, rolling over to face Lucius. He had his bottom lip between his teeth, worrying away. Adorable. "Nah, course not! I was born to be a pirate, love. No regrets."

His answer didn't seem to help Lucius' worrying. If anything, it got worse. "Ah. Alright then."

There was a beat of silence. "I mean, y'know, doesn't mean pirating is everyone's first choice," Pete offered, threading his fingers through Lucius' hand. He planted a light kiss on his forehead, and could feel the tension easing in Lucius' body. Just a bit. "Was it not a, uh, first choice for you?"

It was Lucius' turn to snort. "Far from it. More like piracy was the only thing I was even sort of qualified for." He pillowed his head on his other arm, staring down at their joined hands. "Not much use being an orphan who can read and write when you can't even lift bags of spices without spilling them all over the floor."

Pete traced his thumb over the back of his hand. "If you could've chosen, what would you have been?"

Lucius went quiet for a moment. "Don't laugh but… I've thought about designing clothes? Y'know, for fashion purposes."

Pete smiled. "Gotta say, that sure sounds like you. Bet you'd make the fanciest, most nice looking clothing all the rich shits would wanna wear."

Lucius laughed. "Oh god, that sounds nightmarish. Every rich asshole begging to wear my designs. I would get such a kick out of making them wait. Like, sorry sir/madam, you're too late. The caramel dress is all sold out for this month."

"Well I never!" Pete said, his voice climbing several octaves as he waved his freehand dramatically in front of his chest. "No one says no to me, the great Count Eliza!"

"Well I am, and you just have to suck it up, your highness." Lucius shoved a finger into Pete's chest, making him giggle and slap his hand away.

"So brutal," he mussed, leaning forward to kiss Lucius' neck. "Bet they'd all have to listen to you if they wanted your designs."

"Mmm you're very right." His freehand cupped the back of Pete's neck as he snuggled closer. 

They went silent for a long moment, Pete's breath fanning out across his collarbone. Then quietly, Pete said, "I, um, always wanted to work with my hands more."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Like more woodwork?"

"Mmm." Pete stared down at their joined hands, thumb stroking over Lucius' wooden one. "I like making little knick knacks sometimes. Little bears. Squirrels. Mice."

"That sounds adorable. Bet you get all th details right."

"Always. I like to make them super realistic, y'know? So you feel like you're really seeing one." He paused, closing his eyes. "...I always wished I coulda run a little store. Sold them proper. I think… I think people woulda liked them."

"I bet they would have, love." Lucius squeezed his hand. "We would have made a killing not being pirates."

"Yeah well, who wants to be rich anyways? Especially if it means I can't do this." Pete pulled away just a moment so he could reach Lucius' lips. They kissed softly. Carefully. Like it would all dissolve in a moment of they weren't careful.

"You've got a good point there," Lucius said, pulling back slightly to let his breath ghost over his lips. "Why would I want the world, when I couldn't have you?"

[subrenaspade]

Deuce Spade x Reader (A Holiday of New Steps) Pt. 1

Photo and characters do not belong to me at all. This story however does belong to me and if you plan to do anything to it, all I ask is that you let me know.

A little background about the MC in my story so you're not all too lost. The MC used to suffer from androphobia (A fear of men), that has to do with some past trauma That I might go into more detail about later on if I decide to continue this story. The MC is also a Orphan losing her father at four, then her mother at fourteen, so there will be mention of family. The MC spent all her time in foster care, due to her mother being an orphan herself and her fathers family disowning him. 

Warning: suggestive situations, cursing, Maybe some angst (That's all I can think of right now). 

The reason I am making this story is because there is not enough Deuce, I can't help but sympathize with him, he is just so admirable in his own way and his charm.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I smiled and sighed as I pushed the lid to my suitcase close. I heard Grim do the same thing, though he let out a strangled sound, struggling to close his. I walked over to him, curious about what he was packing for the holiday. I mean he didn't really need to pack clothes. 

“What are you packing?” I asked looking around his fuzzy body to the small suitcase. 

“What's it look like? It's my tuna!” He exclaimed, finally getting it to zip up. I tilted my head at his sentence. 

“I'm sure Ace can provide you with Tuna at his place.” I smiled at him. Grim looked at me with a pout.

“Hah! I’ll be lucky if he remembers to feed me!” Grim complained with a pout. I smiled, kneeling down to his eye level.

“I know you're upset you're not going with me, but I'm sure you're going to have fun. If I didn't trust Ace even a little bit you wouldn't be going with him.” I said as a pet his head. He seemed to lighten up, taking my words to heart. “Besides I'm nervous as it is. This is the first time meeting Mrs. Spade as Duece’s girlfriend.” I commented. That's right, Deuce and I have been dating for about three months. For this two week holiday I was to stay with him and his mother. 

“Why? You’ve met her already and she seems to really like you?” Grim asked, curious about my butterflies.

“Eh, it's a bit different. It's just something that comes with the territory of dating” I shrugged standing up and walking over to my jacket. I slipped the light brown jacket over my shoulders, sighing as I zipped it up. “I still can't believe I- the girl who had androphobia, would ever fall in love.” I muttered almost in a daze. 

“Yeah, and to think you would pick Deuce of all people!” Grim said, wrapping his scarf around his neck. “I mean talk about picking the bottom of the barrel!” He joked. I shot him a glare.

“He is a bit dense on some things, but he isn't a bottom barrel guy. He really is amazing in his own way.” I defend him, smiling at the thought of his smile and stride to better himself. Not many people would take the steps he has to become better for those around them. It was something that really drew me to him, admiring his passion as he put his heart and soul into everything he does. 

I picked up my suitcase and started out of my room and down the stairs to the living area. Grim and I both waved goodbye to the ghosts with a promise to bring back gifts. The weather was cool and brisk as we made our way to the hall of mirrors. Grim jumped onto my back as the crowds started to get a little thicker. Once inside we went over to a corner where the crowd had thinned out. I let out a sigh. It really was busy. 

“There is my lovely daughter!” I heard a voice in the crowd. I jumped at the sight of Crowely walking over in an outfit that reminded me of hawaii. He threw his arms around me making me gasp and try to pull away.

“CROWELY LET ME GO!!” I snapped as I tried to pry him off me. He rubbed his cheek against mine in an act of adoration.

“My dear princess~! Why dont you go on vacation with your sweet, generous, outstanding adoptive father~!” He tried to urge me. I rolled my eyes, finally getting enough strength to shove him off, much to his dismay. 

“Crowely, you know I already made up my mind!” I huffed. He gasped, throwing his hand to his heat as if I had just stabbed him.

“My dear daughter abandoning her loving and caring father for their holiday vacation.” He cried out (obviously fake tears to make me change my mind). 

“Crowely, you still have students to send home.” Professor Crewel scolded the head mage, making Crowely freeze, realizing he did have a football stadium of students to send back home. Though he looked reluctant to leave he ran off to do his job. I sighed and smiled at Divius.

“Thanks Uncle Crewel.” I smiled at him tiredly. He smiled back, making sure to ruffle my hair.

“Anytime pup. You made sure to pack the extra clothes I gave you right?” He asked. I smiled at him nodding.

“Though you really need to stop buying me clothes. It's too expensive and you're going to spoil me rotten.” I comment with a sheepish grin. He laughed.

“I think you're a little over due for spoiling. Besides, I like picking clothes out for you. Its a win-win for the both of us.” He said with a peaceful smile. His smile changed to one of stern seriousness in a second though. “As much as I respect your decisions as a adult, keep in mind the make smart choices.” He said, hinting at something that made me blush. I opened my mouth to inquire what he really meant, but he ruffled my hair again. “Also, if anything happens and you need any of the faculty, let us know. Ill be there to pick you up in no time.” He said, making sure I knew he was there for me. I smiled.

“Of course.” I said feeling grateful for the love and care he was showing me. 

“If you do though, call me, not Trien.” He added in a whisper, making me giggle. 

“Ill keep that in mind.” I nodded. He ruffled my hair one more time then started on his way to help herd students through the mirrors to their destination.

“Miss (Name).” I heard a voice call out. I turned my head to see Riddle and Trey walking towards Grim and I. I smiled and waved, earning one from both in return.

“Deuce said he was doing a few more things then he would be here soon.” Trey informed me, making me nod.

“Thank you Trey. You two are ready for a break?” I asked. Riddle sighed after I asked, making me look at him worried.

“Its fine.” He said when I looked at him with concern. “ Its not much of a break when your mother has you do at home assignments.” He sighed. I frowned. I know he loves his mother, but she always ran him ragged, even to the point of overblot not to long ago. His hurting broke my heart, making me wish that he would smile more. He narrowed his eyes at me, then reached up lightly flicking my forehead. I gasped and placed my hand where he flicked me. He let a gentle smile grace his lips. “I’ll be fine. I make sure to take breaks when she isnt looking now.” He said crossing his arms. I smiled at him gently, hoping my concern and support made it through to him.

“Yeah, holidays are when the bakery is the most chaotic.So Ill be working this whole break as well.” Trey sighed. He snapped his fingers as if remembering something, lifting up a little red box he had in his hand. He held it out, urging me to take it. Once i let him place it in my arms I took note of the weight. I tilted my head at him confused. “I know your nervous meeting Mrs. Spade as Deuces girlfriend, so I made something for you to use as a peace offering if need be.” Trey explained. I smiled as a warm feeling filled me. It was really sweet of him to consider my feelings of nervousness. 

“Trey, you always know how to make me feel more at ease… Thank you” I said, sending a grateful smile to him. A pink tint took control of his cheeks and he looked away, but still smiled.

“No problem, I was wanting to try this tart recipe anyways.” He tried to come up with an excuse. “A-Anyways we better get going. Have a good holiday (Name).” Trey said as he started to turn. Riddle nodded his head turning with Trey.

“You two as well.” I said waving at them as they vanished into the crowd. One by one our friends came by, bidding us farewell for the holiday. Even the Fish Mafia (Also known as the Octavinelle trio) came to wish us a happy holiday. Finally we were just waiting for Deuce and Ace. I leaned against the pillar, with a sigh. 

“Hey (Name), Grim!” I heard Ace call out. I snapped my head up, waving to the ginger. He stopped in front of us with a tired sigh. “Geezz, packing took forever.” Ace complained. I laughed at his dramatic expression. 

“Why didn't you pack last night?” I asked. He shrugged.

“Was going to but I passed out after getting my suitcase out.” Ace explained. I snorted at his blunt answer. 

“Of course you did.” I sighed. “Thank you again for taking care of Grim. I really owe you.” I bowed alittle. He gave me a smug grin, placing his hands on his hips. 

“No worries, just costing you a month's worth of snacks.” He said with a grin. I laughed nodding my head.

“Fair enough.” I commented, it was Crowelys money anyways.  

“I'm here!” I heard someone call out. I felt a smile tug at my lips at the voice. I looked over as Deuce rushed over to us. He was breathing heavily when he finally came to a stop in front of us. “Sorry, I was so nervous I could sleep, so I had a hard time waking up this morning.” He explained. I ginned, checked out, his outfit was disheveled, showing his rush. I shook my head as I reached out to fix the buttons on his jacket. I noticed a blush start to show as I slowly started to fix his messy attempt to close up his jacket. 

“No worries. I was nervous too.” I comforted him, giving him a smile. His blush grew darker, his smile showing how happy he really was. 

“Stop flirting with you too!” Grim gagged out. I stiffened up as a small blush started to warm my cheeks. Deuce started to steal the color red from Riddle, going stiff as well.

“Get a room!” Ace huffed. I scoffed.

“I wasn't flirting!” I defended, crossing my arms. I sighed, kneeling down, picking Grim up. “Ill miss you, I'll call you and Ace everyday.” I said, nuzzling into his furry head. I heard a hint of a purr and he nuzzled into me.

“Ya better. I wanna brag about how boring your holiday will be and how awesome mine will be.” He grumbled. He leaned in closer to my ear. “You're nervous for nothing, she would be crazy not to love you, henchman.” Grim whispered so the other two didn't hear. My eyes widened at the sweet attempt to make me feel more relaxed. I smiled as I tightened my grip on him, hearing him let out a bigger purr. 

“What did he say?” Ace asked, noticing my surprise. Grim looked at me pleadingly. I shrugged.

“Just that you're lucky to be in his presence for the holidays.” I answer, setting him down. He gave me a grateful look as he grabbed his little suitcase. 

“He is the lucky one to be in mine!” Ace countered. I laughed, reaching out giving him a little goodbye hug. He froze at the sudden contact, slowly wrapping his arms around me to give me a squeeze back. “This doesn't count as your payment.” He joked. I laughed, pulling away, giving him a wink.

“I tried.” I joked with him. His smile softened as he reached down to pick Grim up. 

“Well we are off. Don't have too much fun you two.” Ace said, waving at us as he started to walk away. Grim looked over his shoulder with almost a broken heart look on his face. It took all my might not to steal him from Ace and hold him longer. My heart broke as he and Ace vanished through the mirror. I felt a gentle squeeze on my hand. I looked over to meet Deuces' concerned look.

“You okay?” He asked. I smiled, nodding my head.

“Yeah, it's just the first time I am going anywhere without Grim since coming to this world. It's a bit lonely.” I confessed. He stroked the back of my hand with his thumb in soothing circles. 

“You sure you don't want him to come?” Deuce asked. It was originally my idea to not bring Grim since he can be alot and I want to slowly introduce him to Mrs. Spade. It also would give me a chance to leave all my focus on the visit instead of babysitting Grim 24/7. I nodded, confident in my decision.

“Yeah, I’ll be okay. I don't want him to be too much for your mother.” I sighed, still feeling sad about parting ways. “Are you ready to go?” I asked with a wry smile. He nodded his head, leaning over giving me a kiss on the cheek. My cheeks heated up. I felt my chest tighten, kind of wishing he kissed my lips instead.

“Yeah, I'm ready.” He said, intertwine my fingers with his. He gently pulled me towards the mirror, (Ignoring Crowelys snide remark on us leaving together). Deuce made sure to wrap his arm around my waist to keep me from losing my balance. Once through to the other side, I was almost blinded at the bright lights of the sun shining. I rubbed my eyes that didn't get the chance to adjust to the change of brightness from the dark hall of mirrors. Once I got my eyes to adjust, I noticed our surroundings. We were in a train station, almost like one you would see in Japan. I looked around, noticing a huge city that was a pretty good distance from use. 

“You okay?” Deuce asked. I nodded.

“Yeah, Are we in the Queendom of Roses?” I asked, looking around. Deuce nodded.

“Yep, Welcome to the Queendom of Roses!” He said, squeezing my hand. His blue/green eyes sparkled with pride as he gave me a grin.

[renee-writer]

All's Fair Chapter 4

AO3

She and Susan sit eating breakfast. It is the next morning. 

 

“Susan, I am selling this house and moving to Inverness.”

 

“Really, wow! My husband and I would love to buy it.”

 

She smiles as she was hoping they would be interested in it. Someone who would love it and care for it, like she does.

 

“How about I let it to you for a year, then you can buy it?”

 

The other lady nods her head. “Perfect, that way if things don’t work out in Inverness, you can have this house to come back to.” That was exactly what she was thinking.

 

“Just so.”

 

Packing is more about deciding what not to. A lot will be returned to the museum, all the Egyptian artifacts. Claire believes they need to be returned home.

 

The books, or must of them, will be donated to the Oxford library. She keeps the botany books. 

 

Everything else, she leaves in the house for the use of Susan and her husband. Two boxes of personal stuff is all, bar the books, she is taking.

 

She decided that one thing she wants to pick back up doing once she is in Scotland, is cooking again. With that in mind, she pens a letter to Nubia inquiring about the spices she will need.

 

Jamie never meet Lambert Beauchamp  but has heard good things from Ned. He sits in his hotel room working on the final details of the Beauchamp estate. He soon has a whole stack of papers for Claire ‘s signature.

 

As the second son of the Laird, he knew from a young age that he would need to find his own profession. Reading the Law suit him. Ned and himself make a good team as they help the vulnerable of the Highlands.

 

He smiles as he thinks of his family. His mam, the strong Matriarch, starting over as a mammy again with the surprise birth of the twin, Angus and Fergus five years ago. She handles this with the same calm strength she handles everything else with.

 

She was spared the worry most mam’s experienced. Neither himself or his brother, William, had to serve in the war. Jamie was injured in a accident as a child, falling of his horse, messing up his back. William has a limp from his own childhood accident.

 

Spared, they make a point to help those not so blessed. Helping each other was the code of the Highlands. They put that code in practice, assisting the war created widows and orphans.

 

Lallybroch and the accompanying , Fraser’ s Ridge houses many of them. Work was found for as many as possible.

 

His da told him that was always the Fraser way. After the ill fated Raising, their ancestors had done the same.

 

His last day in Oxford and he has one more thing to do. It is a task he has been looking forward to.

 

He bows to her when she opens the door. “Miss Beauchamp.”

 

She smiles. “Claire please, Jamie.”

 

“Claire. I have the papers requiring your signature.” She invites him in.

 

“Please come in. I have some tea and scones prepared.” They take seats at her table and she starts to sign.

 

“Do you still wish to sell this house?” he picks up one of the scones.

 

“Not right away. I am letting it to Susan and her husband for a year first. I wish to be ready to leave in a month.”

 

He nods. “I will see Mary has it ready. Is there anything in particular you will need?”

 

“Yes, a ramp if there be stairs. Navigating them is still quite painful.”

 

“It will be done.” She smiles at him as she signs the last paper.

 

“Thank you.” He finishes the tea, wipes his mouth and hands, before gathering them back up.  She watches his ministrations and forces herself not to bite her lip.

 

“I live on a small croft in the property. You will let me know if you need anything.”

 

“I will. Thank you.” He  stands and she joins him. He places the paperwork back in his briefcase.

 

“I will see you in month.” She smiles. Her eyes draw him, as sparkling and intoxicating as his families best whisky. They are in his mind all the way to the train station. It will be a long train ride.