#Like The Drug? (Crack)

[fanaticalthings]

While I do find it funny that henchmen in Gotham probably warn each other about the Red Hood because he's a bat who will actually kill you. I think it would be better if Jason was actually seen as some sort of savior or idol to like 90% of the goons scattered around Gotham. Doesn't matter who they work for, they all know Jason, former crime-lord that took over majority of Gotham's underground in one night.

---

Jason, years after the events of UTRH, now fighting crime alongside the batfam, except every goon he runs into immediately recognizes him, stops fighting, and starts begging.

the first time it happens, Jason assumes they're begging for their lives only to hear them begging for him to return to the crime lord business so they can work for him and not Gotham's current money-stingy, abusive rogues (Black Mask lol)

---

Jason showing up to patrol as backup for Dick in an overrun warehouse full of Two-Face's henchmen and as Jason's about to interfere, one of the men stops dead in their tracks and stares really hard at Jason until:

Goon: Oh my God, boss, is that you?

Jason, pulling out his guns, about to shoot:

Goon: Mr. Hood, sir???

Jason, halfway about to pull the trigger: Wait a min–Jeremy? Oh wow, it's been ages! How's the wife?

Goon (Jeremy): Oh my God it IS you, holy shit where have you BEEN? Me and the guys miss you, man!

Dick, with a knife at his throat: What is happening right now

Jason: Ahh, well, crime-lording just wasn't fitting in on the daily schedule. Tryna turn over a new leaf and all that

Goon (Jeremy): Aw, that's disappointing. We really liked working for you, right guys?

[Chorus of enthusiastic "YEAHS" from the rest of the henchmen (even the one holding Dick at knifepoint)]

Goon (Jeremy): Well, anyways, I can't beat you up knowing you're my old boss! You gave us the best health benefits! We'll just let you take the evidence and leave.

Jason: Aw, thanks guys :)

---

And that's why 95% percent of Jason's missions in Gotham end in success. Not because he's willing to kill people or because rogues are terrified of him, but because 90% of the rogues' henchmen once worked for Jason and fuckin love him lol.

[zivazivc]

this came to me in a dream

Floyd's emo ass and a techno troll could make scene kids...! Do you see my vision??? . . . Ravin is Happy Hardcore and Eddy M is Synth-Pop, that's how troll genetics work, right?

anyway...

i don't think floyd leads a proud life

[strongermonster]

one of the funniest news things in canada that always tickles me is the ongoing war between magic mushroom shops and the police.

this is the absolute height of humour to me right now

[nessberry]

more on insane thanos fanboy namgyu- since namgyu was canonically born in 1997, which means hes 27 during the games which take place in 2024, and it's applied thanos is supposed to be quite a bit older than not only him but everyone else on team thanos, I am now deeply thinking about namgyu spending all pf his teenager years absolutely obsessed with thanos, since that's around the time thanos was probably most popular. all of his friends are into fresh faced kpop idols that are around their age or a bit older meanwhile he's giggling, twirling his hair, and showing all his friends 10 pixel pictures of that old man (hes in his late twenties so old to them lmao) on his shitty ass iPhone 5 or whatever the fuck lmaooo

[deadbaguette]

I see Odysseus passed around different ships like a blunt it’s insane, but it always comes back to OdyPen which makes me happy

[dykedvonte]

See I know that weed would be like super weak as a chem in Fallout but it would be so much funnier if all these hardcore chem users can’t handle the smallest dose of weed cause it’s like a pure non-irradiated strand and they’d lack any tolerance for canabanoids.

Contrarily, all vault dwellers have high tolerance as it’s like the only pre-war drug people could’ve snuck into the vaults and wastelanders look at vaulties crazy cause they’re like. “Oh I don’t do heavy chems *takes a bong rip that’d send a super mutant behemoth into a coma*”

[mossterunderthebed]

I feel like we, as a fandom, do not appreciate Yuuji’s Appeal enough. You know, he got that razzle dazzle in ‘im. That, that little Sprinkle of Pizzaz. I mean, come on. Man’s got people over here hallucinating entire backstories with him after just one fight.

[amirmeavid]

uther and ygraine were in a lavender marriage.

either that or ygraine was a trans woman.

because magic is gayness

and arthur was born from magic

therefore he was born from gayness

a gay relationship

between ygraine and nimueh??

3 way polyamory?????

WHAT WAS UTHER DOING IN HIS SPARE TIME? THAT HE CANONICALLY CREATED A BABY FROM

PURE GAYNESS

[coldbronzemoon]

only vaguely related to the smile dip post I just made is my general headcanon that Ford would have absolutely no compunctions about trying hard drugs. like canonically he's got a bad caffeine addiction and is heavily implied to be a strong drinker if not an outright functional alcoholic. I think that he'd have moral issues with like, the drug trade and stuff like that but if someone offered him coke at any point in his life he'd 100% try it at least once and not hesitate for a moment because his main character disease means he'd never think he'd suffer the really strong consequences. and even if he DID he'd science the problem away.

anyway thank you for coming to my very stupid tedtalk.

[fastwalker]

feminists are WAY too harsh and shrill abt makeup bc uuuh....... actually it's bourgeois to be anti makeup bc working class women deserve to feel pretty too and no one deserves to see their ugly ass mugs and hands damaged from physical labour lol slap some concealer on that, disgusting prole #feminism

[posting-ducks44]

Doflamingo without his sunglasses.

I know we briefly get to see his eyes, but shh

[sluckythewizard]

'I wont cry for you, I wont crucify the things you do. I wont cry for you, see, when you're gone, I'll still be BLOODY MARY'

[mas0ch1st1cbaby]

Reposting my old art.

[aioliravioli-69]

Chase: So I put the keys in this formation and then I uh...I...uhm, are you sure about this Dorkin?

Deacon: It's what the keys said you'd have to do and they probably know the ritual better than you

Chase: Yeah, but they've also been asleep everytime they went through it

Deacon: Come on Chase, we've come so far, you can't chicken out now!

Chase: I-...I'm not chickening out, it's just...are we 100% sure this is what I'm supposed to do?

Deacon: What other information do we have?

Chase: I...ok, I'll do it...for mom

Chase: Here goes nothing I guess

[polktd]

foremasc save me save me forcemasc

[lululeighsworld]

Whatever He Asks of You

“Why me?” Sebek knew he was not the only one to share the young Draconia heir’s bed. This was a clear indication of something more than the pleasure of intercourse, the companionship of bathing, the comfort of sleeping with another warm body in the dark of night. He was afraid to draw Malleus’ ire with such self-doubt, but to his surprise, Malleus looked thoughtful. “A fair question, though I should have thought the answer obvious. You are the only retainer I have with both the strength for such a task and also my total trust.”

Just had to share this delightful Malleus/Sebek eggpreg fic @thislittlekumquat wrote uwu for all those who may be interested!! Currently available to registered AO3 users, so make sure you're logged-in (and as always, read the tags to determine if it's your cup of tea)!!

READ HERE <3