#PYTHON WILL BE SO INSULTED

[stopitniobe]

I keep wanting to post like "what if I brought back [character] but only as a comic relief villain" but then I remember it would probably sound EXTREMELY out of left field, because I've only revealed AT MOST 1/3 of the plot to y'all

[evilios]

There's nothing funnier than Ovid's version of the encounter of Apollo and Cupid where Apollo calls Cupid a goddamn baby that isn't worth holding a bow and Cupid practically goes oh you think you're funny? I'm about to be hilarious.

[freakoutgirl]

Extremely annoying to me when people are like "why are you critiquing a comedy movie, it's supposed to be fun 🙄" as if critique can't be fun for some people

[flamagenitus]

I was looking at the computer science curriculum for 1st year comp sci at my university and as a bioinformatics student the comparison is insane. Ppl who have choose comp sci for their degree have like 4 months to learn how python works where we have 1. They are not taught 4 programming languages per year. They are allowed to acclimatise to the notion that packages exist and sometimes they contain useful functions you don't have to create yourself!

AND YET, WHEN A BIOLOGY PERSON CAN'T INSTANTLY USE PYTHON 1 MONTH INTO A BIOINFORMATICS DEGREE, WE ARE CALLED 'BAD AT PROGRAMMING' --

[coffeeshopdragons]

So you know that scene in Monty Python: The Holy Grail where the peasant yells to King Arthur “Stop oppressing me” and is all like “I didn’t vote for you, you asshole” (not the lines but I’m paraphrasing here). Anyway that peasant embodies the spirit of Merlin from BBC Merlin and you CANNOT tell me that that wouldn’t be a bit that he would do. Arthur would definitely be more pissy about it than in Monty Python but can you IMAGINE? I feel like I read a lot of fics where he just doesn’t sling enough wild insults at Arthur and I either need to find it or write it because that is a problem in my life that I NEED rectified rn

[grison-in-space]

On American soldiers serving during WWII:

“Sensitive” men often found one another while working on the extraordinarily popular “soldier shows” for which the USO provided the know-how and the materials. These shows were written, directed, and performed by men in the armed forces. Since there were no women in outlying camps, enlisted men would perform female roles in drag. Performances ranged from comic portrayals of burly men in dresses to realistic female impersonation. For actors and audiences, these performances were a needed relief from the stress of war. For men who identified as homosexual, these shows were a place where they could, in coded terms, express their sexual desires, be visible, and build a community. These lyrics for a “female” trio in a soldier show demonstrate how homosexual enlistees introduced their own humor into skits: Here you see three lovely "girls" With their plastic shapes and curls. Isn't it campy? Isn't it campy? We've got glamor and that's no lie; Can't you tell when we swish by? Isn't it campy? Isn't it campy?16 Later in the war, when WACs were available to perform with men, their involvement was limited; usually they worked backstage to help the men be made up as women. An indication of the popularity of female impersonation in soldier shows is evident in Irving Berlin’s This Is the Army. Written for an all-soldier cast, it premiered on Broadway in 1942 and a year later became a hit Hollywood film with Ronald Reagan. Both the Broadway and film versions featured soldiers dressed as women.

--A Queer History of the United States (2011), Michael Bronski; Chapter Eight: Sex in the Trenches

Fascists rely on a sanitized homogenized understanding of a hazily golden national history to hawk their wares to their recruits and dehumanize their enemies. Moral panics, too, rely on inaccurate popular understandings of history to promote attacks on their victims. Like every other human endeavor, these things spread themselves through stories.

WWII looms large in the American memory; we remember it as the last "innocent" conflict on our world stage, inaccurate as that is. (There is no such thing as an innocent player in a world war.) The military preoccupation with fascism and gender looms large, and WWII offers that for far-right ideologues searching for conformity, too: the masculinity of combat, the catharsis of the foxhole, the rigid conformity of the decades that follow. In the memory of such stand-up paragons of masculinity, the fascists will bellow, how can you permit the degenerate decadence of the modern drag queen, the obscenity of a trans woman being so much as permitted to exist? Surely the rejection of that masculinity would have disgusted and upset these fine soldiers, and how could you insult such icons?

But it isn't true. Drag, genderbending, and queerness were entertainments our grandfathers and great-grandfathers sought out, participated in, and shared with one another. Some of the queer ones fucked about it, and so did some of the straight ones, but not everyone. Some of the soldiers were playing, and some weren't. Either way, "female impersonation" was a staple of entertainment, both in the form of soldier-entertainers and for audiences back home. It continues to be a form of popular mainstream entertainment today, of course: only consider Mrs Doubtfire and Monty Python and RuPaul's Drag Race and Blackadder and MASH and Tyler Perry's Madea and Hairspray, to name only a few of many.

There's more than one way to knock down an image and an idol cherished by bigots, my friends. Don't forget that the stories the lazy fascists tell about how it was long ago and far away aren't the only stories left to tell. It turns out that the past wasn't any less full of degenerates and queers than the present is--or than the future will be.

[literaryvein-reblogs]

Writing Notes: Guilt by Association

Guilt by Association - moral guilt or unfitness presumed to exist on the basis of one's known associations

Guilt by Association Fallacy

Occurs when someone connects an opponent to a demonized group of people or to a bad person in order to discredit his or her argument.

The idea is that the person is “guilty” by simply being similar to or associated with this “bad” group and, therefore, their arguments should be disregarded.

Example:  We cannot have the educational reform that my opponent calls for because Dr. Corrupt has also mentioned this kind of educational reform.

This is the fallacy of trying to refute or condemn someone's standpoint, arguments or actions by evoking the negative ethos of those with whom the speaker is identified or of a group, party, religion or race to which he or she belongs or was once associated with.

It is a form of Ad Hominem Argument, e.g., "Don't listen to her. She's a Republican so you can't trust anything she says," or "Are you or have you ever been a member of the Communist Party?" 

An extreme instance of this is the Machiavellian "For my enemies, nothing" Fallacy, where real or perceived "enemies" are by definition always wrong and must be conceded nothing, not even the time of day, e.g., "He's a Republican, so even if he said the sky is blue, I wouldn't believe him."

Guilt by association fallacies can often work in concert with hasty generalization or ad hominem fallacies, especially when they’re used to attack a specific group of people.

While guilt by association fallacies often include unfair stereotypes, this is not always the case.

Guilt by association can even be factually accurate.

For example, imagine two politicians both support a bill for free school lunches. However, one of these politicians has a known history of corruption. Despite being based on fact, it would still be illogical to use the corrupt politician as a means to discredit the second politician and their ideas.

"Guilt by Association Gag" Trope

In a comedy, when a bunch of characters are subject to some kind of punishment or awful revenge, there will often be exactly one character who doesn't deserve it.

No matter how much this character voices his objection, he will never be recognized as an exception.

He must suffer with everyone else.

Examples

In one episode of Courage the Cowardly Dog, Eustace swindled Shirley the Medium out of a necklace for Muriel by giving her an oil bill he claimed was a deed to an oil well. In response, Shirley put a swindling curse on both him and Muriel, even though Muriel was completely innocent of the scam.

Near the beginning of Monty Python and the Holy Grail, a man is loaded onto a cart full of dead plague victims. When he insists he's "not quite dead yet" and attempts to leave, the cart-pusher refuses to take him at first, but the man who brought him slips the cart-pusher some money. A hefty whack from his cudgel and the man wasn't complaining anymore.

Schools often employ this tactic to keep students under control in chaotic classrooms, much to the chagrin of well-behaved students. It's become something of a Discredited Trope, as teachers have gradually come to realize that the badly-behaved students often enjoy getting their more well-behaved peers punished for no reason, and can actually cause the ones who normally behave to start being disruptive themselves once they realize they're going to be punished either way.

In the Spongebob Squarepants episode "Big Sister Sam", Squidward insults Patrick's elder sister, which causes her to cry. In response, Patrick shames both Squidward and SpongeBob, even though SpongeBob has just been standing there watching the whole thing.

The Simpsons: "Simpsons Bible Stories" ends with the Rapture. The Simpsons are to be sent to Hell… except Lisa, who is pulled heavenward in a beam of glorious light. Disturbingly, Homer is able to reach up and pull her down to hell with them, saying "Where do you think you're going, Missy?"

Sources: 1 2 3 4 ⚜ More: Notes & References ⚜ Writing Resources PDFs

[hometoursandotherstuff]

Magician Lance Burton's 2006 castle house in Henderson, NV is for sale. (I wonder if his Vegas residency is over.) The 6bd, 7ba, 14,756 sq ft home is for sale for $10m. It's way over the top, too.

I don't know why there are all of these outbuildings down here, but the main house is on top of a hill like a typical villain's castle. It looks like a manmade hill. 10.05 acre property.

Life size horse statue is probably included. The gray house and vast paved area is depressing. I remember this house, so it hasn't sold since I last posted it.

The living room offers a view of the desert, plus doors to the patio.

Above the living room there's a mezzanine. And, there's also a bar.

Narrow hallways lead to other rooms.

It has a very ornate 2 tier library.

Looks like there's another bar in this room.

Gee, this hall looks narrow.

There's an open sitting area above the dining room. This looks awfully tight for serving.

A large 2 story gourmet kitchen.

Lots of counter seating in the kitchen.

Oh, look. There's Lance's magic hat. It has its own little cubby.

Looks like there are halls all around the perimeter of the home.

And, the theater ropes indicate that we are near the home theater.

Nice vintage looking theater. It seats 8.

Very fancy home office. I wonder if that's an Area 51 sign in the next room.

Look at this rocky waterfall.

We've all seen large chess sets before, but these pieces light up.

This looks like a lounge where people can watch the chess game.

This is fun, you can patrol the castle and insult your approaching friends like Monty Python in "The Search for the Holy Grail."

Look at the canons below.

This white part of the house looks like an addition.

Indian maiden and eagle statue pointing at giraffe statues. This is weird.

A fence surrounds the property and this is a guard office at the gate. I can't tell if that's a real person or a mannequin inside the window.

https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/1280-Scooter-St-Henderson-NV-89002/70055558_zpid/?

[danosrosegarden]

HIIII ELIII !!! firstly THANK YOU for all the work you do for danonation… you are our strongest soldier !!! 🙏🙏💕💕💕 secondly, i’d like to put in a request for the anniversary celebration !!! <3 if i could may i get glitz + edward nashton? i love that lil freak … maybe something with creepy mutual obsession? i need him to know i’m just as obsessed with him as he would be with me …. THANK YOU SO MUCH AAAH !!! ^_^

it's hot and we rot - edward nashton x gn!reader headcanons (NSFW)

elijah's anniversary celebration: post three!

✨ glitz prompt: give me a character, and i will write a nsfw piece for them. ✨

{contains: male masturbation, public masturbation, underwear thievery, sub edward, and general mutual creepiness and obsession.}

♡ Sharp, grimy talons of guilt pierce through his heart and spill the thick, gushing blood all over each time he finds himself back in the bathroom next to his cubicle. Edward Nashton knows that there's nothing good in what he's doing. There never is.

♡ But God, does it feel right. Sorry. He really shouldn't tell you that, it might make you uncomfortable, he knows. But he thinks it's something you should know. An inky black secret too revolting and shameful to keep to himself. A slowly swirling python of perverse glee wraps itself around Edward's sweat-slicked body as he pulls your underwear out of his pocket: the carnival prize he'd won for himself last time he was over at your apartment.

♡ He hears your voice swimming around in his head as he wraps it around his cock, already slick with precum and throbbing a harsh, blushing pink. That's disgusting, Edward! I trusted you, I let you into my home, and that's what you do when I'm not looking? You're a fucking freak, you know that?

♡ Jesus. He's already biting down hard on his cracked lips so as to not alert his coworkers. It's all a rolling ball of sharpened knives, a blazing firecracker of intensity...the thought of your horrified look and cruel, venom-laced words spat into his face. The idea that somebody in the office could walk in at any moment and accidentally catch sight of him through the spaces in the stall doors, crimson-cheeked and leaking all over his tightly-gripped hand.

♡ His mind runs chaotically wild as he pumps himself, the fluorescent light above his head humming a low, growling buzz. You. He wants you. He doesn't give a fuck what he has to do. He'll beg for scraps. He'll whine and plead. He'll get on his knees and pray. God, he just wants you.

♡ Heat. It rushes through his body, injects itself straight into his bloodstream. He feels the white-hot warmth tingling deep in his gut as a high whine slips from the slits in his clenched teeth. It feels dirty, what he's doing, but that's part of the charm. He feels appalling, painting his hand with thick dribbles of cum in his workplace bathroom while thinking of your acidic, outraged insults, but he cannot stop himself.

♡ Maybe it's for the better that Edward doesn't know how deeply you want him, too. He's hardly able to be around you as is without the sickening thoughts infecting his brain...if he knew you reciprocated, he would never be able to calm himself down.

♡ For sure, Edward would explode if he knew about the picture of him you kept in your bedside drawer. You took it on your Polaroid while he was over one evening, destressing from work. His smile is crooked and his hair is ratty, but that was the picture. The picture you held tight in your hand when you masturbated and whispered his name into the hot, blanketing air of your bedroom. The picture you stared longingly at when the aftershocks subsided. My precious boy. Sweet angel. I wish I could ruin you.

♡ Edward stuffs his prize back into his pocket and washes his hands with a sheen of light sweat dusted across his forehead and a heavy coat of shame wrapped around his shoulders. He knows deep down in the depths of his heart that you're far too good for him. He'd actually much rather be the loser moaning and writhing to the thought of you than risk the friendship he'd somehow managed to obtain. At least he'd gotten away with his gross thievery. Nothing more, he promised himself. There is no going further.

♡ He also knows deep down in the depths of his heart that there was no stopping the enormity of his depraved desire. It was famished and on the hunt for any fragment of you it could find. And if only he knew the same hunger lived within you, chronically clawing at your gut, demanding more, more, more. God, if only he knew.

[docholligay]

Wait wait. If, he's ignoring the Law of Equivalent Exchange, that would suggest it's not a law. I can't ignore the law of gravity or thermodynamics. If it's in fact, not a natural law, but more of a guideline or rule, that would suggest that alchemy is less scientific than you make it out to me and maybe a little more slotted in the magic column.

I would not argue this point so hard but for the fact that Ed is such an ASSHOLE about other people having faith systems and how cool and scientific alchemy is, when this is like the Law of Don't Do Bullshit. That's more of an ethical guideline, actually, and not a law. This is not a scientific natural law. I feel like I am losing my fucking mind here.

if you're sitting here going, "Hoilligay, PLEASE quite harping on how the equivalent exchange rule is ridiculously narratively flexible to the point of being insulting" PLEASE TELL THE SHOW TO QUIT DRAWING EXTREME ATTENTION TO IT. It's easy enough to ignore inconsistencies if a story does not insist upon them. Sure, whatever, i've read stuff before that breaks rules here and there. I don't always love it, but I can live with it fairly easily. But this keeps continually bringing my attention back to it, and telling me it is a real thing, while NOT MAKING IT A REAL THING. I feel like that fucking guy in the Monty Python skit with the dead parrot am I just losing it here?

Girl help.

Please read me before commenting or sending an ask! (i respect your right to be contrarian but bear in mind you’ve probably seen this anime 87 times and I am watching it virgin-style. There’s a link to the discord on the advisory)

[callas-ferbadger]

Arlecchino as a child: I'm cold like a spider

Clervie: If you say so, Perrie...*doubts*

*some time later*

Arlecchino: I'm still like a spider, but now I'm a strict and unfeeling father figure as well.

Lyney, Lynette, Freminet: .....

Lynette: Is someone going to tell her?

Arlecchino: Tell me what?

Lyney: Well, "Father" while you are a stern paternal figure for us. You're more....like...a... how do I put this? You're more like a killer rabbit than a spider.

Freminte: Oh, you mean like in that film the traveler showed us? Uh, what was it again, oh right it was Monty Python and The Holy Grail.

Lynette: Correct, a killer rabbit seems to fit "Father" perfectly. Though I don't think the film is the best example. But I read somewhere mother rabbits pluck off pieces of their fur to keep their young warm, or something like that. "Father" tends to do that in her own way, especially considering the bottled flames she spoke of.

Lyney (others just nod in agreement): Exactly.

Arlecchino: *doesn't know if she should be flattered or insulted* May I see this movie you're referring to?

[louis--wifey]

Your Stupid Face || Texcali

Pairing: Texas x California

Warning(s): angst with a fluffy ending

Word count: 1346

Summary: Based on Your Stupid Face by Kaden MacKay

Texas would not be shocked to find out that California hated him. He didn't like him much either. They had to deal with each other because of the state meetings that they both would agree are insanely tedious. At least they could agree on something, right?

California hated Texas, hated how happy he was, hated how proud he was, hated how patriotic he was. He hated everything about him from his looks to his views. California hated Texas because he could never agree with him. Their views were so different there is no way that either of them could truly ever get along.

Sometimes Cal would like to insult Texas straight to his face and tell him that he's a disgrace to humanity but he doesn't do that. He has too much of a guilt complex to insult anyone right to their face.

That doesn't stop him from thinking mean things though, or imagining that he's saying them to Texas. He’d imagined the hurt look on his face and smiled to himself. Does that make him a horrible person?

If California could make Texas disappear without a trace then he would consider it a perfect world. But since the world could never be that great, he’ll just hate his stupid face.

California was glad that he only saw Texas on meeting days but his gladness went away when he was forced to stay at the statehouse. It didn't help that Florida and Louisiana messed with the room chart… California was placed right beside Texas and had to share a bathroom with him, New York, Washington, and Oklahoma.

Cal has lived at the statehouse for three months now. He sees Texas everyday, hears him laughing, notices his smiles. They actually started getting along.

California was shocked to say the least when Texas asked him to join him and a few other states to a movie night. He didn't really ask, he just shoved a bowl of popcorn in Cal’s hands and told him to join him in watching Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

Something about Texas suddenly asking California to do random activities with him became normal. Cal actually liked it.

At some point he laid in bed, eyes wide open at the realization that he liked Texas. He really liked Texas. “Nooo!” He’d groan to himself. How could this happen? He hated Texas, right?

California really liked how happy Texas looked. He really liked his laugh, and his smile. He just really liked his face. He’d like to tell him but how could he? They were so different. And Cal wasn't one to flaunt his love. Maybe he’d hope that Texas would notice or even say that he liked him first.

California had come to enjoy state meetings because he sat across from Texas, meaning he could stare at him. Texas did notice this, he’d notice that every time he’d notice Cal staring at him, California would turn red and look away.

Texas started talking to him more after that. They’d hang out so much it confused all the other states, did they like each other now? Yes. At some point they’d shared their first kiss.

When Texas wasn't at a meeting or even in the same room as California he felt so out of place. Like a plant without roots or a song on mute.

Part of California believed that Texas should fear being in a relationship with him. Every relationship he’d ever been in ends horribly, he'd eventually scare him away.

If the world was perfect, Texas would have never invaded California’s space. But the world is obsessed with saying “psych”. Now Cal likes his stupid face.

California and Texas have been together for a month and a half. They cuddled almost every night, watched movies together, and listened to music. California was somewhat shocked when Texas said he hadn't seen Brokeback Mountain so they watched it immediately.

Eventually California would become correct, he got too comfortable and he couldn't take it. Before he knew it, he was sabotaging his own relationship, like he’d done so many times before.

Texas and California got into a fight. A fight left Cal standing helpless in the middle of his room and Texas's back getting further away.

Cal laid curled up in his bed, thinking of what he should’ve done. Why was he like this? Finally a good thing came his way and he sabotaged it like he’d always done.

California still couldn't stop thinking about Texas and how much he missed his face, his smile, his laugh, his touch… But it didn't matter now, Texas was probably disgusted by him, by his stubbornness.

California knew life was cruel and that he was cruel to himself. He was foolish to trust himself, he was foolish to trust Texas. He knew he was being senseless. How could he be so naive? How could he be naive enough to put his heart in his sleeve knowing that he would drop it himself.

If the world was perfect Texas would be in California’s embrace. Since the world denied him one last kiss, Cal will just miss his stupid face.

Three weeks passed after their break up. California was startled by a knock on his bedroom door. He stood from his bed and opened his door. Cal was shocked to see Texas standing there.

California’s breath caught in his throat. “What are you doing here?” He asked, he came out much more coldly than he met for it to be.

Texas stood there for a minute, “I thought about you. After you ran away-”

“I didn't run away!” California crosses his arms defensively. He paused for a moment. “It was, it was a strategic retreat.”

Texas gave him a look and rolled his eyes in a superficial way. “I want to talk to you.”

“What is there to talk about?” California asked in an almost theatrical manner. “It's over, I ruined it.”

“Well… Are you sorry?” Texas asked, he tilted his head to the side as he did.

“Well, yeah, of course I'm sorry, but-” California started, he couldn't forgive himself even though he was sorry.

“Then I forgive you.” Texas stepped towards Cal and placed his hand on his cheek.

“No, no, don't forgive me!” California snapped and pushed Texas's hand away from him. “Why do you do that? Why, why give me another chance to mess things up?”

Texas swatted California’s hand away and placed his back on Cal’s cheek. “Because I love you.”

California stood there in complete shock. “Because you, what?”

Those three words were completely uncalled for, especially from Texas. Why didn't he hate him? Why did he care? Couldn't he just barate him? Wouldn't that be fair?

How could he leave their problems and pain on the shelf! If Texas didn't hate California then he couldn't hate himself. But maybe that's why Cal needed him, he shattered his fear. Despite his misdeed, Texas was still right there.

California thinks that it was stupid to date him but Texas was willing to try. If Tex didn't hate him, why should he?

California stared up at Texas. “Are you sure you don't want to give up on me?”

Texas smiled down at Cal. “I’m sure.”

“You're a moron…” California muttered as Texas leaned forward and kissed him.

So Texas thought that they could work? Here, California thought he was the dumb one. Texas smirked down at California. “What?” California asked as he pouted.

Texas forgave him for all he did wrong, he was unmuting a song, and California felt like he was in the right place. Once again he belonged to someone.

California wished Texas would drop his stupid smirk, though by now he'd earned that. No matter how intensely Cal would pout, Tex’s would always win out, it's time California learned that.

Though they went together like a Chanel No. 5 and mace. At least it's not as dull as fitting like a glove. Texas is a nightmare that California had not been dreaming about. When push came to shove, California loved his stupid face.

[studentinpursuitofclouds]

howdy!! hope ya don't mind but for vanilla and sve bachelors, got any hcs for a farmer with a massive interest for entomology and generally all things creepy-crawly (so this includes worms, slugs and snails, arachnids, etc)? To where they tend to excitedly catch any little critter they can find to passionately tell their spouse a whole novel's worth of information of what they're holding, down to the taxonomy? ...Even if they happily explain that what they're currently holding in their bare hands is dangerous, and that bites and stings can be extremely painful, cause permanent damage, or even be deadly. - 🐇

Good to see you again, bunny anon ❤️ Thank you for the question, hope you and others enjoy some headcanons 😊 🫶

SDV and SVE bachelors react to Farmer who are into entomology, herpetology and other creepy creatures:

SDV bachelors:

Sam:

Ewww! But also wow!

Sam didn't understand a lot of the complicated terms and names that Farmer started showering the young musician with when telling him about the bug species, but Sam was still curious!

Man, it's so ugly and so cool at the same time!

(Is Sam allowed to touch it? Or at least take a picture of it?)

Although he will be a little worried when he finds out that a particular bug is poisonous. Sam will ask his lover not to hold this thing with their bare hands.

Scary, but it's still pretty cool!

Shane:

*deep breath* "Are you out of your fucking mind?"

Ok, that was rude of him, Shane didn't mean to insult his spouse in any way. But the fact that Farmer was holding a black snake with such a naive smile, saying it was deadly poisonous...

"You can tell about those creeping vipers without holding that fucking black snake in your hands!"

Well, he has no aversion to the rest of the creatures, especially the Farmer is so detailed and interesting about the same snails and worms.

They're even kind of cute.

But, for Yoba's sake, not deadly dangerous creatures!

Harvey:

When the Farmer told Harvey they wanted to show him a "cool snake they found," the doctor expected a harmless one. But not, by golly, a giant python!

And the fact that Farmer is holding the huge predator calmly in their hands as if they weren't talking about a dangerous creature, but a little puppy.

Despite the horror, Harvey is very admiring of Farmer's knowledge of herpetology.

But don't even ask Harvey to hold the snake in his hands. No thanks, he's not crazy.

Constantly worried about Farmer's health, because they already have a couple snake bites on their bodies.

Alex:

For all his love for Farmer, Alex would be a little skeptical of their hobby.

"Hon, are you sure it's okay to touch that? I don't think it's even safe to look at."

He suppressed the overwhelming urge to knock the creepy insect out of Farmer's hand, figuring he'd make it worse that way.

Didn't understand anything the Farmer was telling him, but it was still pretty interesting!

(As long as he doesn't hear the words "deadly", he's cool with his spouse's little weird hobby).

Sebastian:

In Sebastian's eyes, Farmer is the coolest person on the planet.

He is bothered by the fact that Farmer can hold very biting (and sometimes poisonous) spiders, but thinks their spouse knows what they are doing.

He loves to listen to Farmer for hours when they pick up a random worm or spider and start talking about these creatures in detail.

At times he will pick up a found crawling creature himself and ask the Farmer what it's called.

"Cool" - the most frequent word Farmer will hear from his spouse when they tells another story.

Elliott:

It took Elliott a lot of effort not to shriek in terror or faint.

He and his dear spouse walked through the woods and chatted about the weather until Farmer found a nest of live snakes. A whole nest with a dozen of the crawling critters, and the first thing Elliott's love of his live decided to do was to take the ball of snakes in their hands.

Unfortunately, the writer was too absorbed in his inner screaming to hear Farmer's interesting account of this species of snakes.

For Yoba's sake, tell him that the snakes in the Farmer's hands are not poisonous...

SVE bachelors:

Lance:

Lance is also an explorer of sorts, and although it's mostly about monsters, he's very interested in learning something new about the local fauna from his love.

That, however, does not prevent the adventurer from scolding his beloved Farmer for such a careless attitude to their own safety and health.

Lance will load the Farmer with vials of antidotes for poisonous snake and tarantula bites.

Maybe even cast a protective spell. And don't let the Farmer complain or grumble about it - Lance has every reason to worry about them.

He'll still be amazed at Farmer's deep knowledge.

Victor:

*Worried husband mode activated*

Victor is as amazed by the Farmer's intimate knowledge and their bravery as he is horrified by their utterly calm attitude towards the poisonous bug they have in their hands.

Wouldn't the Farmer rather put that bug back where they found it? So that, you know, Victor would stop worrying about the health of his precious spouse?

Still amazed at how accurately Farmer tells him about the classification of various reptiles and insects. Even his books don't go into that much detail, wow!

("Just don't get all the bugs and spiders in your bare hands again, please. Especially dangerous ones, okay, dear?")

Magnus Rasmodius:

"No. Not that. No, no, and no. NO."

Magnus uses magic to instantly teleport the bug that was in his lover's hands as far away as possible into the forest where the Farmer got the dangerous critter from.

A heavy scolding in three... two... one...

Magnus understands their passion, but they can also talk about this interesting fauna without putting his and their lives in danger.

He happens to have a book in his library describing the same snails, worms, beetles, and snakes. Only these creatures have magical properties.

Magnus will give them the book because of their fascination with the subject. But on the condition that his spouse will be a goody-goody and not look for trouble. Deal?

[hyacinthusmemorial]

The Power of Children's Stories: Why "Kid's Book" Should Not Be Considered an Insult

I do this thing when I'm walking, I listen to Kids from the Stranger Things Soundtrack and I imagine Apollo fighting Python, but then I imagine all the heroes that came after him because in a way--Apollo is the archetype of the hero. He's a child, a baby god, four days old in some stories and he's not stealing cows, he's killing a serpent. Then I imagine all the demigods that came after him, and I'm stunned because there's a reason we give children the ability to slay monsters in media when they normally are not expected to do so in real life.

I read a post by @apollosgiftofprophecy, which is a valuable critique of derogatorily labeling something "kid's book". This post I'm writing in no way disregards that, but rather highlights something similar, but different. Rick Riordan's books are powerful (recent discussion about his characterization and stories aside), and just because they are targeted at a younger audience doesn't mean they aren't powerful for everyone. I'm guilty, I called them Kid's books in this post, but to me, Kid's Books are a powerful medium and not a lower one or even a derogatory one. To me, Percy Jackson is a one million times better character than Jon Snow in Game of Thrones because GOT takes its source material so, oh so seriously that it never explores the themes of his childhood in any meaningful way. Percy Jackson on the other hand as well as Apollo because I adore those books too--they use a narration style that is clear, entertaining, and bright and humorous to express very harsh realities of life. I identified with Apollo more as an adult because he uses humor to mask his darkness, which is very much something I do (and honestly anyone in healthcare or who deals with death daily does that), but I adored Apollo because he was hiding.

Clearly, I don't write for middle grade level when I write, I write adult content, but I wanted to validate "kid's books" --not "Just kid's books." Kid's books are powerful.

Examples:

Responsible for combatting Racist views! Absolutely one of the most powerful books ever written, and it teaches CHILDREN and ADULTS to turn around and save someone even when its not the "right" thing to do, but it absolutely is. It challenges conscience. It does this while telling joke after joke after joke.

Another Example:

Another "Kid's books" but not "just kid's books"-- gosh, I could go on and on about LOTR and its themes about power. This book is important for all ages. I still analyze the hell out of it, and so do my friends. Its hopeful, not because its less of a book than its counterpart "its all quiet on the western front," but because its illustrating powerful lessons without despair. Everyone makes it home, everything is beautiful, they rebuild, the Shire endures through the darkness. The Ring is destroyed even though it still very much exists in our world.

What about the Giving Tree, or Dr. Seuss books like Yertle the Turtle or the Sneetches, Artemis Fowl, and all those "kid's books." Star Wars is for "kids," but talking about Cycles of Abuse! Luke means Hope, and he breaks his families cycle of abuse. That's powerful, and its for kids!

I would argue that Kid's books are powerful BECAUSE they are targeted for kids, not in spite of it. Stories are how we TEACH. Grimm's Fairytale's existed because storytelling was a medium through which kid's learned vital truths--they have to be dark, kid's understand darkness, they understand monsters, and while our society sanitizes death away, kid's very much should learn how to understand death too.

I read an article about how a tribe, I think perhaps one of the Inuit, uses stories instead of physical discipline and how they find that this is the superior way of teaching children and adults. Everyone listens to the stories, not just the kids. When someone makes a mistake, they develop a story to show what happens if that mistake is oft repeated. I think about our ancestors gathered around fires and they told stories, and the kids were front and center, but the adults were there too, listening, learning, remembering.

On a completely different note: when a book is "targeted" towards an audience, that's marketing. It has nothing to do with content or value. We need to separate the concept of marketed, and marketing, from the whole value of a book as a means through which to tell a story that discusses important themes.

I very much use my story as a means through which to express truths about personal issues, and I think it resonates. But, those themes and truths are universal in their basic nature, a child can understand what it means to be hurt as much as an adult. A child can understand what it means to be free as much as an adult.

[godsofhumanity]

okay i admit i may have been projecting onto my best friend Apollo, but logically, if Artemis fights a lot with Hera, then I assume Apollo also has a certain level of annoyance/hatred with Hera.

anyways. for Artemis, i say that she is mean, or rather, disrespectful, to Hera based on the following:

in the Iliad, Apollo (on the side of the Trojans) and Poseidon (on the side of the Greeks), come head-to-head. but Apollo, out of respect for Poseidon, chooses not to engage in battle with him. Artemis comes face-to-face with Hera, queen of the gods, and decides that she will fight Hera and even berates Apollo for being a "coward" and not fighting Apollo:

"Let me [Artemis] not hear you [Apollo] in the halls of my father boasting ever again, as you did before among the immortals, that you could match your strength in combat against Poseidon." (Homer's Iliad, Book 21, Line 475)

and then after Hera beats her (somewhat easily lol), she goes and complains about it to Zeus, as if Hera did something wrong:

"Her father [Zeus] caught her against him, and laughed softly, and questioned her : ‘Who now of the [gods], dear child, has done such things to you, rashly, as if you were caught doing something wicked?’ Artemis, sweet-garlanded lady of clamours, answered him: ‘It was your wife, Hera of the white arms, who hit me...’" (Homer's Iliad, Book 21, Line 505)

and i know that this style of writing makes everything a lot more dramatic then it needs to be, but still! Hermes, faced against Leto, decided that he wouldn't fight her because she was a wife of Zeus and it was wrong for him to do so:

"Leto, I [Hermes] will not fight with you; it is a foolish thing to fight with the wives of Zeus, the cloud-gatherer..." (Homer's Iliad, Book 21, Line 498)

evidently, both Apollo and Hermes understood that it wasn't proper for them to fight against their elders, and Hermes explicitly states that it's not right to fight a wife of Zeus, but Artemis alone decides that she can do whatever she wants and tries to contend with Hera... ?? seems like she has a grouse against Hera (and i get why given Leto and Python, etc.).

2. in Nonnus' Dionysiaca, Artemis again does battle with Hera (and loses).

"Against Hera came highland Artemis as champion for hillranging Dionysus [when the gods took sides in the battle of Dionysus' forces against the Indians]... [and Hera] struck Artemis flat on the skin of the breast, and Artemis, smitten ..., emptied her quiver upon the ground." (Nonnus' Dionysiaca, Book 36, Line 28)

now unlike in the Iliad, i do think Artemis was justified here because she was trying to protect Dionysus, but it's just funny to me that Artemis always seems to be fighting with Hera. they never really seem to be on the same page. it's interesting because in the Dionysiaca, Hera seems to explicitly describes Artemis as a foil of Hera:

"... you virgin marriage-hater..." (Nonnus' Dionysiaca, Book 36, Line ~70)

anyways. the most stand-out point to me, is that when Artemis and Hera go head-to-head, there's always this long passage of insults that proceed any fighting, especially on Hera's end. i wont write it out all here, but you can see it in the Dionysiaca, Book 36. that says to me that Hera really doesn't like Artemis, and Artemis surely couldn't like Hera either. they strike me as the kind of people who take every opportunity to be snide and cruel to each other. even Athena, whom Hera didn't like very much in the beginning when Zeus appeared to "give birth to her on his own", Hera eventually became friends with and in the Iliad they seem to have a very close relationship. but Hera never really gets something like that with Artemis,, which is what makes me say that they didn't get along.

i admit, my language might've been extreme in saying that Apollo and Artemis were "bitches" to Hera HAHAH i am a shitposter after all, don't take my word literally. but still, my sentiments stemmed from this idea of Hera and Artemis appearing to fight a lot when they share scenes.

[transformation4life]

Thinking Straight

"Hey Faggot, bet you want these guns?" The gymbro flexed to Parker.

Parker was your average gay twink trying to get some muscle at the gym much to the dismay of the straight homophobic gymbros. Even with that in mind he still came back every single time. Even with their comments he couldn't help but keep drooling at their bodies especially with their asian heritage.

"Yes I do. Now keep belittling me please," Parker didn't hesitate to keep staring.

The gymbro snarled and grabbed Parker by the neck.

"You. Faggot. Shut up! You will be like us soon enough and understand how much faggots like you deserve to suffer." The gymbro let go of Parker as the words left Parker with a terrible feeling in his stomach.

The collective bunch of gymbros all laughed and pointed at Parker soon after and Parker's hard on quickly faded and the poor skinny guy was filled with embarrassment and left the gym to go back home. Usually Parker would be filled with lust after the gymbros insulted him, but after getting grabbed he felt... different. Either way Parker needed to be alone for a while.

Parker arrived at his apartment and opened the door and was quick to collapse onto his couch.

" *Groan* That was so weirdddddddddd. What did that guy even meannnnnn? I'm as gay as can be!" Parker didn't want to think about what happened anymore so he resorted to his usual at-home activity of watching videos of male bodybuilders to get a hard-on.

So Parker pulled out his phone and was quick to search stuff like "Bodybuilder Flexing" and "Bodybuilder Posing" and "Pec bounce" hoping it would give him the desired tent in his pants. Much to Parker's dismay though, that tent never appeared even when it usually should have. Parker felt like something was off. The words the gymbro said to him ringed in his head again.

"AUGHHHH This is infuriating!!! Y'know what I'll just go to bed now. It's getting late anyway," Parker closed the YouTube app and made his way to his bed.

An urge quickly took over Parker as he out of characteristically decide to sleep nude.

"I-It's a bit hot in here this is perfectly fine..." Parker told himself.

Parker closed his eyes thinking of strong, large, and muscular men hoping he could maybe stroke his cock before bed but he still felt nothing. Infact he felt more challenged that he wasn't like them.

"I'll show them tomorrow. No more horny," He mumbled before drifting off to sleep as his life would soon change drastically.

As the night continued Parker kept rolling around in bed as he kept twisting and turning his sleeping position as he tried to think of large men in order to calm himself down but it still wasn't working.

"You will be like us soon enough," The words suddenly entered the thoughts of Parker making him sweat. Almost sweat too much.

Parker's face began to morph as his eyes became thinner and his lips a bit plumper and more changes to give his face a more asian look. Although his eyes were closed Parker's vision started to worsen while suddenly a pair of glasses appeared on his nightstand. Parker's pale white skin was slowly becoming much more tanner and much like he's been out in the sun for a lot longer than he actually has. Memories of being a Thailand immigrant quickly surfaced into Parker's brain as they replaced the ones of being born in the United States. Still as gay as ever, Chet Wong still wanted to get big and stare at men all the while.

"เชี่ย…" (Fuck...) Chet moaned in perfect Thai as he was about to get a hard-on thinking of the same asian gymbros before something stopped it.

The next most important change become evident as Chet began to pack on TONS of muscle. As the muscles packed on so did the memories of Chet going to the gym at young age of 14. It wasn't before long that Chet had two massive suckable tits, washboard abds, pythons for biceps and thick juicy thighs not to mention the bubble butt of all time along with other ultra masculine features.

And now... the star of the show couldn't wait much longer as Chet's currently small dick erected and grew into a thick girthy 10 inch monster just waiting to fuck.... something. Boys! Girls? Chet was a bit fuzzy on his sexuality as he continued to moan as he remembered his long rod and hanging out with... those asian gymbros?! Wait... that's right those were Chet's friends. Have been for a while now. But why would those homophobic shitstains want to hang out with-

-and understand how much faggots like you deserve to suffer." Chet grabbed his rod thinking of how hot his gymbros were and how lucky a gay bodybuilder like him was lucky to be around them until his stopped in his tracks and his dick softened.

"Why am I thinking like a Fag? I'm no Fag!" Chet's homosexuality quickly became 100% heterosexuality.

Thoughts of men pecs and hairy bodies were quickly replaced with the thoughts of busty women and their curvy bodies that Chet needed to seed with his 10-incher. Chet adopted every single toxic masculinity trait in the book as he thought about all the women he fucked and all the fags that he turned down. Chet's rod quickly rose to it's full girth as he began to masturbate until releasing a sea of cum onto his bed.

"ที่รู้สึกดี….." (That felt good...) All of Chet's worries were gone as he finally drifted into a peaceful sleep.

Morning arrived as a flurry of notifications brought Chet awake. Chet groaned a bit as his morning wood was evident due to his thoughts of women last night. Chet grabbed his glasses from his nightstand and went for his phone.

"Wonder what Fag texted me last night. Let's see..."

Much to Chet's betterment it was one of his gymbro friends also from Thailand.

GB: เฮ้ Faggot พร้อมที่จะทำซ้ำแล้วหรือยัง? (Hey Faggot, ready to do reps?)

BigDick: ฮ่าๆ! แน่นอน ขอแค่ให้ฉันเตรียมไม้เรียวให้สาวๆ แล้วฉันจะไ��ที่นั่น (Haha! Of course just let me get my rod ready for the ladies and I'll be there.)

Chet put his phone down and got out of his bed to give a good look of himself on his closet mirror. He was feeling cocky and ready to seed.

After a self-obsessed ten minutes Chet put some clothes on, but making sure his prized schlong was big and out there. Chet then grabbed his gym bag and set out for where his bros were at.

"ไอ้เหี้ย! นั่นแหละ!" (Faggot! There you are!) One of the gymbros shouted as Chet approached

"ฮาฮาฮามาก. ฉันไม่ใช่ตุ๊ด แม้กระทั่งยกออกเมื่อคืนนี้กับผู้หญิงบางคน" (Haha very funny. I am no faggot. Even jacked off last night to some ladies.) Chet smirked.

"และนั่นคือเชตที่เรารู้จัก!" (And that's the Chet we know!) The gymbros all cheered.

"มาปั๊มกันเถอะ!" (Let's get our pump on!) Chet cheered back.

The thai gymbros worked out for hours as they built their muscles to show off to the ladies. A couple ladies at the gym even noticed the group making some comments about them. This caught the attention of Chet as he was ready to get some pussy tonight. While the other gymbros were distracted with their workouts Chet stripped of all of his clothes except for his underwear poorly keeping his rod in check.

"Hey ladies. Like what you see?" Chet did a little flex.

The girls giggled and nodded. Chet was ecstatic and made his move.

"So how about you feel this 10 incher in ya later tonight at my place?" The girls giggled again but politely decline much to Chet's rage.

"What?!?!?! You bitches don't know what you're missing on!!!" Chet walked away to his bros absolutely fuming.

"What's wrong bro?" One of the gym bros asked.

"Ladies didn't want my seed it was not fun!!!" Chet replied solemnly.

The bros showed deep concern for Chet and began to hype him up.

"You got big ass Chet! Those bimbos know nothing!!" One of the gymbros said prompting Chet to look at his ass in the nearby mirror.

"You are right!"

Almost as if right on cue another set of ladies walked by and Chet's libido was higher than ever. Chet adjusted his loose underwear ready for a seeding opportunity.

Surprisingly one of the ladies actually agreed to a date later tonight and the whole gymbro group cheered.

"นั่นคือเชตของเรา!" (That's our Chet!) Any sign of Parker was long gone as Chet pulled down his pants thinking of all the ladies he was going to fuck.

Chet's prize swayed back and forth as Chet began to smile as he moved his legs in excitement.

"ฉันรักการเป็นผู้ชาย!" (I love being a man!)