#SO MANY PEOPLE HAVE HAD THE OPPORTUNITY TO TEACH ME! BUT THEY DIDN'T AND I'M MAD!!!

[glow-in-the-dark-death]

The Daycare

Danny moves to Gotham after Lady Gotham themselves asks for his help.

Gotham's natural ecto has been deteriorating, and considering ecto was what held everything in existence together safely this was a major problem for Lady Gotham.

If Gotham got too bad it would spread to the rest of the world, and could cause it to cease to exist entirely.

So Danny came, as the Ghost King he had the power to filter in great amounts of the corrupt ecto just by being in the city.

But part of his obsession was protection & helping, Gotham already had a lot of help (Batfam). So he decided to focus on helping not with the problem at the top (villains), but with the problems at the bottom.

The problems at the bottom that would be the root cause in breeding more problems.

After all, many didn't start evil, but need and desperation pushed them towards that path.

So Danny moved to the worst part of Gotham, The Bowery.

What did he do there?

Why open a Daycare of course!

Many parents could not get a good or stable job simply because they needed to look after their kids and could not afford to pay the daycare fee.

Danny wasn't worried about money after all the coffers that he inherited as king would take forever to even make a dent in it, and that's only if he was living a very lavish lifestyle everyday for several human generations.

With this in mind his Daycare fee was pretty much nothing.

He would take care of the children of a very wide age group, while the adults could focus on getting a decent job or even returning to school for a higher education for better opportunities.

How does he care for so many children?

He duplicates himself of course!

At least in the very beginning, after a while he begins expanding his Daycare offering classes and tutoring to the children as well as free food at all times.

Who's helping him ?

His ex-rouges and other ghosts who volunteered.

Lunch Lady absolutely adores having so many people and kids to make food for, and Box Lunch can socialize and play with the other kids while she works.

Ember even volunteers to be the music teacher!

Danny has the help of many ghosts who once they heard his plans were very excited to help, many having the obsession with teaching children or in general. Other ghosts helped with building, expanding, and just generally helping maintain the building in great shape. Even building a very diverse and fun playground.

Of course all this catches the attention of Red Hood. Danny just appears one day on his territory with many others and practically having a building appear out of nowhere with how fast it was built, asking literal pennies to take care of the children, and free food for anyone who asks.

All that gains a lot of attention and is rather suspicious.

But the crime rate has been going down since he opened, which is a good thing.

But many people don't want good things and decide messing with Danny and his Daycare.

Unfortunately for them cuz Danny is absolutely down for violence if he's protecting what's his.

~

Villain: "What a lovely place you have here would be a shame if something were to happen"

Danny who has the audacity to fight Gods and win: "Someone call an ambulance! But not for me!

Also Danny: "These hands are rated E for everyone"

~

Other people:"Should we call someone for help?"

The ghosts:" Nah, let him have his fun he needs his enrichment"

~

Red Hood: "He's very suspicious"

Danny is absolutely covered in paint and singing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star with the young kids: "Ah yes I'm totally doing normal Gothamite behavior"

~

Lady Gotham is having some self care spa time she's having a grand time: "Should I warn the young king of the other halfa (Jason)? Hmm best not, it'll be more entertaining if it happens naturally"

~

Just an Idea

[missmonsters2]

—Lips Over Your Nightmares

Pairing: Wednesday Addams x Fem!Reader/OFC

Summary: You've been having trouble sleeping. Nightmares haunt you every time you close your eyes, and Wednesday offers a solution in the form of comfort only she is capable of.

Warnings: Soft!Wednesday. Possessive!Wednesday. Intimate. Wednesday ran out of patience. Emotionally charged confessions. Kissing. Lots and lots of kissing.

Masterlist | Library Blog | AO3

Reminder there's no taglist but you can follow my library blog for notifications 💘

Note: I said wednesday is soft for her girl and I will take no arguments about it. The act of kissing in this fic is peak wlw. I'm sleeping on the highway tonight and taking you all with me.

Count: 2.6k

Please do not copy, repost, or translate my work anywhere else.

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷†⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷

Nighttime could be hellish.

It was probably why Wednesday adored it so much. 

You loved it too. There was something divine about the nighttime. People feared the dark, but you saw it as an opportunity to rest your weary eyes and bones. The night gave way to being invisible, and there were some days when that was all you could bear to be. 

But to Wednesday Addams, who loved the dark, you could never be invisible to her.

It was a blessing and a curse. 

To be seen by Wednesday—it was something more than many people could ever hope for. 

But to be seen when you wanted to be invisible? It was like being dragged without anything to hold onto. 

Nighttime was hellish, and you wanted to disappear into the dark as your nightmares plagued you until you couldn't even tell what was the dream and what was the reality.

But Wednesday Addams saw you. 

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷†⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷ 

You've missed Enid's late-night studying session again. It's the second week in a row that Enid's gotten a text from you two minutes before the session started.

"I guess we can start," Enid told the group with a disappointed smile. "She's not coming today either."

"Fuck," Xavier sighed. "She's the only one who's good at art restoration. I was hoping she'd help me with my assignment."

Wednesday's face scrunched together mildly, and Xavier rolled his eyes. "Except for you, Wednesday. But you hate teaching me and I hate learning from you."

"I can't help it if you're stupid," Wednesday dully replied. 

"Not all of us can do it perfectly after being told what to do—told only once might I add," Xavier raised his brow at her.

Wednesday shrugged, which only seemed to irk Xavier more and to prevent them from bickering further, Yoko turned to Enid and asked, "Why isn't she coming?"

Enid shrugged, her lips quirked to the side as they pressed together. "She texted to say she wasn't feeling well and couldn't make it."

"She does seem tired lately," Bianca commented, her expression in deep thought as she recalled the last two weeks when she saw you. "Also, really quiet. Well, quieter than she normally is."

There were murmurs of agreement around while Wednesday sat silently. Of course, she also noticed, but she was waiting for you to say something to her. You always told her whatever was plaguing you, even when Wednesday told you she didn't ask. Wednesday was used to hearing your mundane thoughts or solving your problems. 

But there was nothing this time, and Wednesday couldn't figure it out. She tried to think back to see if anything had changed—if something had happened, but there was nothing. 

Two weeks of leaving you be was enough, though, Wednesday decided as she packed her things into her bag.

"What! Wednesday, are you leaving too?" Enid groaned. "But I need help with botanical sciences!" 

"Ask Bianca," Wednesday didn't even look up.

Enid looked at the siren, who had a deceitful, happy smile.

"I'd be happy to help you, Sinclair. Let's talk The Poe Cup negotiations first."

"Absolutely not!" Enid scoffed before turning back to Wednesday with pleading eyes. "Wednesday..." she whined.

"Ask Xavier," Wednesday didn't budge.

"But all he does is draw in class. There's no way he's doing well."

"I'll have you know I'm getting a C," Xavier looked affronted.

Enid merely stared at the sullen boy for a long moment before she turned back to Wednesday. "I'll just wait for you tomorrow after school."

Xavier was about to say something else when Wednesday briskly nodded, standing up and leaving the group behind without another word. 

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷†⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷ 

It was completely silent on the other side of your door, and from its looks, it was dark as no lights were shining underneath it.

Wednesday knocked in three successions. 

There was no answer. 

If it were anyone else, they would've believed you weren't there and left, but not Wednesday.

No, she knew you far too well. 

This was a place where you could truly be invisible with no roommate.

Wednesday knocked insistently until she heard shuffling, an agitated huff, and footsteps approaching the door. 

The door only opened marginally. You looked mildly surprised to see her, but Wednesday supposed you had too little energy to manage anything more. 

There were dark circles under your eyes, and they looked puffy and slightly red around the edges from lack of sleep. Your skin was pallor, which suited someone like Wednesday, but she decided it was not on you. Your hair lacked its usual shine, and Wednesday's eyes narrowed as she finished scrutinizing you.

"What are you doing here?" You asked quietly. 

"Are you going to just let me stand out here?"

"I'm not in the mood for company, Wednesday," you blinked slowly. 

It was new.

You were usually happy for Wednesday's company whenever she stopped by, and you often visited her dorm. 

"I have had enough of this," Wednesday glared at you through the gap in the door. "You will let me in."

"And if I don't?" You challenged back, and Wednesday almost wanted to applaud the snippy attitude you've mustered through the tiredness.

"Then I will wait out here and ensure you don't get a. Single. Wink. Of. Sleep." It was a threat that tugged at your nerves. You looked at Wednesday, and for a brief moment, she thought she won before you shut the door in her face. 

Disbelief clouded over Wednesday's eyes. 

Then, Wednesday began to knock incessantly over and over on your door. Her knuckles knock with a vengeance, and she'll be damned if you think she doesn't take absolute joy in torturing you. 

It worked because you open the door wider this time, as you stare at Wednesday with a glare.

"What part of 'I'm not in the mood for company' was unclear, Wednesday?" Your voice was gruff, and Wednesday could tell that you were still trying to not snap at her despite how tired you were. 

And that in itself was everything. It was like that all the time. 

You were always trying to be considerate of whatever feelings you thought Wednesday might have while gently pushing her to admit which ones she was truly feeling. 

Maybe that was why Wednesday could never leave you alone now.

You were a gateway to things Wednesday never wanted, and she genuinely thought you should pay for making her desire things she swore she'd never want. 

"Say you don't want my company then," Wednesday said haughtily. 

Wednesday knew you wouldn't—couldn't, even. You never would. 

Just as you were her exception, she was yours. 

You pursed your lip at her, starting to close the door swiftly, and Wednesday stuck her foot partially into your room, preventing you from shutting the door in her face again.

"Wednesday!" You called her name, concerned you might've hurt her when the door hit her foot, but the macabre girl used the opportunity to press her palm flat against your door and pushed it wide open.

She took a step forward menacingly, forcing you to take a step back. She took another step, and you took another one back. When she was inside your room fully, she used the back of her heel to shut your door.

The resounding click of it made you swallow.

"Wednesday," you clenched your jaw, fighting against something you weren't even really sure why. But you were terrified—of her, you don't think, but rather what she was capable of doing to your heart.

"I have been patient," Wednesday's voice is quiet, but her tone is sharp, expressing every bit of her lost tolerance. "I have waited for you silently."

Wednesday kept walking towards you, backing you up until your back bumped into your desk. She looked positively irritated. "I have even refrained from saying a single unkind thing despite them running through my mind at the sight of you moping at whatever has been keeping you up at night."

"How did you know—"

"Do you take me for an idiot?" Wednesday's eyes flashed dangerously at your insinuation. You shook your head.

"Then you must take me for a fool with endless patience," Wednesday glared at you. "I don't take kindly to the kind of games you're playing."

"I'm not playing anything—"

Wednesday cut you off again. "Then explain concisely what has been keeping you up and why you've been keeping it to yourself."

Silence filled the room as you didn't speak, but Wednesday had already waited this long. She could wait a little more. 

Wednesday watched how you gripped the edge of your desk, your finger tapping underneath in rapid succession before you closed your arms over her chest. 

The stance was defensive, but you looked more reluctant than wary.

"I'm having nightmares about you."

The admittance stunned Wednesday, and she didn't know how to take it. Initially, it felt like a compliment because nightmares were so fascinating and exhilarating to experience, and Wednesday hoped to have nightmares every night she slept based on that logic. 

But you were not her. 

Nightmares, illogically, were typically not desirable.

"Wednesday, I—" You swallowed. "I have feelings for you. You're the best and worst part of my days because I actually feel clinically insane everytime I see you, spend time with you and then have to face the fact that you're not mine and I'm not yours."

Wednesday's jaw clenched, and it was noticeable. She wanted to open her mouth and demand how you could feel the exact same way she did, but she kept her mouth shut, waiting for you to continue on. 

"And I have nightmares about losing you," you confessed. "I have nightmares about losing you to Tyler or another deranged supernatural being. I have nightmares about losing you to Xavier or Enid or somebody like Tyler, minus the whole mass genocide. I have nightmares about losing you in every single imaginable way, only to wake up and realize you're not mine, and you can't lose what you don't have."

"I can't tell if the nightmare is when I'm asleep or when I'm awake." You put your hands to your face, laughing hollowly. Tears well up in the back of your eyes, burning as they were so dry from lack of sleep. "I think I'm going crazy."

Wednesday wanted to tell you that going crazy was supposed to be wonderful. But she, herself, has been experiencing the whirlwind of elation and torment you put her through and believed that going crazy wasn't as wonderful as she thought. 

But Wednesday decided then and there that there was no way up from crazy. And while it's unfortunate that she's not the brand of crazy like Uncle Fester, she's been driven mad nonetheless. It's the only thing that could explain all of this and everything that's about to come. 

Wednesday grabbed your wrist, moving your hand away from her face. No visions plague her, and all she knows is that this meant her decision wouldn't end in misfortune and it wouldn't drive her down a lonely path. 

"Enid's not expecting me back tonight," Wednesday told you as she dragged you over to your bed. Her succinct tone leaves no room for you to ask any questions. 

"Um, okay?" You said anyway, thrown off by her response and feeling exhaustion saw at your bones, dragging the invisible knife back and forth.

Wednesday guided you to get into bed, and you complied. Resignation settled over you as you rested your head on your pillow. It was cold again with you being away from it, but it brought no comfort. 

You lay facing the wall, about to pull the blanket up to your chin, when you heard something drop against the floor. You turned your head and saw that Wednesday had set her backpack down, and now she was zipping off her sweater, hanging it on the pole of your bed frame, leaving her in her black long-sleeve.

Wednesday took her shoes off before using every bit of her vulnerability to steadily and carefully climb into bed with you. It was dark, with only a little light from the moonlight shining just barely into the room, and you could make out the barest hint of her features and knew she was staring intently at you, trying to ascertain if this was a boundary both of you could bear to cross. 

Her touch was slow and hesitant, revealing this was something she's never done before, but the moment you were in her arms, you clicked into place like a puzzle piece. 

Wednesday was cool against your body, but she was warming from your touch and shared heat trapped under the blanket. She smelt like rain and dry leaves, and you felt like you were going insane. You buried your face into her neck. 

Wednesday wrapped her arms around you, holding you close, allowing the things she's been desiring for a while to come to fruition. She couldn't tell if this was making her saner or driving her closer to insanity.

It was deliriously pleasant.

"Who said you're not mine?" Wednesday muttered into the shell of your ear.

It's suddenly not enough, and Wednesday now knew the answer was that it was driving her closer to insanity. 

Wednesday pulled back slightly, looking into your eyes that were so tired just moments ago. The dark circles remained, but you were wide awake, speckles of oblivion in your eyes.

Despite how everything else changed as you became sleep deprived, your lips still remained full and soft. 

Wednesday moved to close the gap, sighing softly as her lips slanted against yours. 

How could she feel like jagged glass, splintered and sharp, while you felt so soft, practically melting around her serrated edges?

Wednesday only pulled back marginally, cupping your jaw and the back of your neck. "Who told you that you don't already have me? I want names."

You couldn't even think straight with how her breath felt on your lips. You pushed forward again, pressing your lips against Wednesday's insistently.

Was it possible for reality to be better than a dream? 

Your lips slotted over Wednesday's over and over and over. Wednesday tugged at your bottom lip, smoothing over it with her tongue before it dipped at the edge of your mouth where your tongue met hers. 

It was dizzying, something that frequently happened to Wednesday when it was too warm. She usually hated the sensation of it, but, of course, as many things were exceptions when it came to you, this was one of them too. 

"Your nightmares are inane."

You couldn't help but laugh against Wednesday's lip. 

"I think I am actually insane," you grinned, and you saw a ghost of something similar on Wednesday's lips. 

"Sleep," Wednesday ordered you, kissing you chastely initially but ending up biting your bottom lip tenderly. Her hands pull you closer, her lips resting on your forehead. "I'm here, so nothing will plague you."

The softness of Wednesday is unimaginable, and you're nearly skeptical.

"But—"

"No." Wednesday countered bluntly. "I'm telling you that I'm here and yours. You may come to regret it, knowing how...difficult I am. But you're stuck with me. Congratulations," Wednesday tilts her head slightly, brushing against yours, "or condolences."

But you could hear Wednesday's heartbeat, and it was dark, and you were so tired, but you were close enough to hear Wednesday's heartbeat. 

Your lips tingle from Wednesday's kisses. You felt your eyelids grow heavy along with your body, and the way Wednesday shifted told you she was satisfied.

Nighttime could be hellish, but Wednesday Addams saw you—she always would. And all she had to do was put her lips over your nightmares.

[inkskinned]

i. about 2 weeks ago, i was told there's a good chance that in 5 or so years, i'll need a wheelchair.

ii. okay. i loved harry potter as a kid. i have a hypothesis about this to be honest - why people still kind of like it. it's that she got very lucky. she managed to make a cross-generational hit. it was something shared for both parents and kids. it was right at the start of a huge cultural shift from pre to post-internet. i genuinely think many people were just seeking community; not her writing. it was a nice shorthand to create connection. which is a long way of saying - she didn't build this legacy, we built it for her. she got lucky, just once. that's all.

iii. to be real with you, i still struggle with identifying as someone with a disability, which is wild, especially given the ways my life has changed. i always come up against internalized ableism and shame - convinced even right now that i'm faking it for attention. i passed out in a grocery store recently. i hit my head on the shelves while i went down.

iv. he raises his eyebrows while he sends me a look. her most recent new book has POTS featured in it. okay, i say. i already don't like where this is going. we both take another bite of ramen. it is a trait of the villain, he says. we both roll our eyes about it.

v. so one of the things about being nonbinary but previously super into harry potter is that i super hate jk rowling. but it is also not good for my mental health to regret any form of joy i engaged with as a kid. i can't punish my young self for being so into the books - it was a passion, and it was how i made most of my friends. everyone knew about it. i felt like everyone had my same joy, my same fixation. as a "weird kid", this sense of belonging resonated with me so loudly that i would have done anything to protect it.

vi. as a present, my parents once took me out of school to go see the second movie. it is an incredibly precious memory: my mom straight-up lying about a dentist appointment. us snickering and sneaking into the weekday matinee. within seven years of this experience, the internet would be a necessity to get my homework finished. the world had permanently changed. harry potter was a relic, a way any of us could hold onto something of the analog.

vii. by sheer luck, the year that i started figuring out the whole gender fluid thing was also the first year people started to point out that she might have some internalized biases. i remember tumblr before that; how often her name was treated as godhood. how harry potter was kind of a word synonymous for "nerdy but cool." i would walk out of that year tasting he/him and they/them; she would walk out snarling and snapping about it.

viii. when i teach older kids creative writing, i usually tell them - so, she did change the face of young adult fiction, there's no denying that. she had a lot more opportunities than many of us will - there were more publishing houses, less push for "virally" popular content creators. but beyond reading another book, we need to write more books. we need to uplift the voices of those who remain unrepresented. we need to push for an exposure to the bigotry baked into the publishing system. and i promise you: you can write better than she ever did. nothing she did was what was magical - it was the way that the community responded to it.

ix. i get home from ramen. three other people have screenshotted the POTS thing and sent it to me. can you fucking believe we're still hearing this shit from her when it's almost twenty-fucking-twenty-three. the villain is notably also popular on tumblr. i just think that's funny. this woman is a billionaire and she's mad that she can't control the opinions of some people on a dying blue site that makes no money. lady, and i mean this - get a fucking life.

x. i am sorry to the kid i was. maybe the kid you were too. none of us deserved to see something like this ruined. that thing used to be precious to me. and now - all those good times; measured into dust.

/// 9.6.2022 // FUCKING AGAIN, JK? Are you fucking kidding me?

[sleepy-writes-stuff]

(short continuation to the prompt I wrote, which is linked below. I thought I was done with this, but then @victoria-has-no-secret and @bluerosefox had some ideas to incorporate into it. Screenshots of said ideas are also below but are sprinkled throughout the post too.)

(*) = Me building off of other ideas

TW: mentions of animal death

← previous

✦

After the whole fiasco with the Justice League, Danny gets an idea. Not very many people actually know about Laika, at least from what he could see of the majority of the Justice League who had never learned about her. Although, to be fair, a lot of them come from different planets. Either way, it gives Danny the idea to create a YouTube channel starring Laika to teach the people of Earth about the pup.

The channel immediately garners attention from all around the world, and even winds up on a couple of news stations too! It grows so much that Danny decides to expand further than just Laika, but to the other things that were sent into space in the quest for knowledge: The space rovers as well as many other animals.

Laika even leads Danny to them as he ventures further into space with a specially made camera that can withstand traversing space and the differing atmosphereic conditions of other planets. He manages to find every single one of them, discovering that maybe Laika hadn't been as alone as he'd first thought as he watches and records her playing with the spirits (imprints?) of the rovers, chimps, mice, and many other animals haunting the endless void of the cosmos.

People back on earth are going wild with the knowledge that their hopes, thoughts, and feelings helped to give life to beings that had long been dead/stopped working. They have no idea what to feel about this new information except an amalgamation of pure awe, curiosity, joy, guilt, and sadness. They still mourned the loss of Laika, the rovers, and everyone before and after them, but knowing that their existence wasn't completely lost soothed an ache many didn't know they carried with them when they were there to witness the beginning of such astronomical leaps in technology.

To also know that out of the many stars shooting across the sky, one of them might be Laika happily racing amongst the stars with her friends brought many to tears. At every opportunity, they wished for the sweet pup's happiness and the continuing health of their own furry companions down on Earth with them. They also wished that upon the eventuality that they have to part with their companions that maybe a few of them would join Laika and her friends in stars to keep them company for many years to come.

Although many of these wishes were heard by Desiree, she refused to touch such hopeful and well-meaning wishes for fear of twisting them in unseemly ways, allowing them to form on their own. The other ghosts among Danny's rouges even made a deal with each other to not interfere or attack the town when Danny was recording his videos out in space.

It was beyond bad manners to interfere with another ghost's obsession, after all.

✦

I'm gonna go cry some more. I've learned more about the progress of space exploration in the past couple hours than I probably should. This is the last thing I'm adding onto this prompt. If any of y'all wanna continue it, be my guest!

Notes:

(*) One more thing to add. Where are the ghost hunters/Guys in White during all of this? If they start making a fuss over Phantom and all the ghost animals, do they get a bunch of civilians raiding their government facilities and causing them bodily harm? What's happening with the Justice League? Are they sitting back and eating popcorn while all this goes down? Who knows. :)

[fairysluna]

little wolf.

Cregan's little sister is the only one who can change his mind, which is why Aemond decides to use his charms and convince her to support the Green using some peculiar methods.

MASTERLIST

Pairing: Aemond Targaryen x Stark!Reader

Tags/TW: smut (p in v, loss of virginity, f!oral sex, praise, breeding, kinda innocent!kink), teasing, a bit of mean!aemond, slight dubcon, cregan being an overprotective brother, cursing. if something is missing let me know!!

Author's Note: mimor @tvrgvryen sent me this request a few days ago and I had to do it bc i loved it so much. So here it is!

Word Count: 4.9k

Aemond has always been a good observer. He has always noticed the small details, the reason why people acted as they did, the way people treated others. That's why it wasn't hard for him to realize how important you were for your beloved brother Cregan. 

The day he first stepped into Winterfell after Vhagar gracefully landed on the snow, he saw how brave Cregan was for stepping between you and the enormous beast. However, that mere gesture exposed the big affection he had for you; his only sister, and with that, Aemond knew what was Lord Stark's greatest weakness… you. 

He went to the North with a mission, a task to fulfill, and he was not a man that was known to give up on things. Aemond was resilient, determined. He would not accept a negative answer from the Warden of the North, and even though he knew about the oath and how Starks are famously known for being loyal to their words; he was eager to find his way to gain the North's support. 

And his opportunity came up with you; the sweet, kind Lady Stark. Beloved by all, you were also known as the Heart of Winterfell, for it was said that even the small folk held dear for you. Everything that Aemond heard about you were nothing but good words, showing how much people appreciated you, which only impulsed Aemond's bad intentions. 

It is true, a Stark never forgets an oath, but the North gathers when the wolf howls… and even though your brother was the visible face of your House, everyone knew that it was you the one that had true power over the masses; your gentleness made you the Queen of the North, and that information was enough for Aemond to start his devious schemes. 

It all started at the training yard. The snow had fallen earlier in the morning, covering the ground with a thick layer of snow. He was staring at you as you struggled with a bow and arrow, not being able to hit the bullseye. This would only make you groan with impatience, despair even. Aemond pressed his lips and looked down at his shoes, trying to show himself amused by you wrestling. 

"You're too tense, my lady," he said as he slowly walked towards you. 

His black fur coat covering his slim shape, his white hair perfectly still despite the crazy wind, his hands at the back of his body. He looked so effortlessly elegant, it almost made you blush. 

"My prince," you greeted him, bowing swiftly, "I'm sorry you have to watch this terrible attempt."

"I didn't know women were allowed to train here in the North," he spoke, politely as he stretched his arm to touch the fine wood of the bow you were holding. 

"We're not," you replied, "but my brother insists I should be prepared to defend myself, so he forces me to train either way."

"Mhm…" he nodded, "your brother is a clever man. A beauty like yours is the target of many deprived men, he's doing well by letting you learn how to protect yourself."

"But he barely has time to teach me," you complained, placing your arms in position to shoot again, "now he's in a meeting with the Mormonts, and I am here," you let the arrow go, but it didn't even hit the target. "...failing miserably."

Aemond chuckled, and you inevitably blushed at the low sound that came out of him. You stared at him from your peripheral view, analyzing his undeniable beauty and flirtatious smirk which made your heart beat a little too fast. 

"You're too tense," he repeated, as he shifted his position until he was behind you. 

His hands went to your shoulders, and he squeezed them softly giving you a soft and short massage that made you close your eyes. Soon, one of his hands reached yours, the one that was holding the bow's grip. He wrapped it around yours, and you immediately felt his warmth on your cold skin. It made you gasp silently. 

"You see, I'm not so good at using a bow, I think my weapon of choice is the sword," he whispered, getting closer to your ear, his breath smacking against your shivering skin, "but I know things… and I can teach you if you please, my lady."

His nose rubbed against your hair, and your delicious smell almost made him groan. Soon, the prince helped you to fix your position as your breathing was getting heavier and an unknown feeling was installed in your lower belly. You feel the heat even though it was freezing cold, you felt his body pressing against yours leaving a sensation of distress, as if your body was begging you for something. 

You feared of someone seeing you; the position was quite compromising, and you were certain your reputation would be stained if someone witnessed such a scandalous scene. It felt too intimate for you, perhaps not so proper for a maiden like you. You would have tried to push him away, but there was something within him that did not allow you to do so; it was as if he had bewitched you with his charms, and you were under a spell from which you were not able to wake up. 

"It's simple, my lady," he explained, "you must relax, you must let go," his voice so deep and low against your ear, "come on, no one's watching, you're under no pressure…" 

His touch, so delicate and gentle, mixed with his words, which you quickly misinterpreted; 'no one's watching', it sounded more like an invitation rather than words of comfort. You couldn't help but to sigh, a gesture that brought a slight smirk upon Aemond's face. 

"Let yourself go, Lady Stark," his voice turned more breathy, rapier. "That's it, so good… now, eyes on the target, don't take your eyes off of it, okay?" 

You simply nodded, wildly blushing at his praise. There was a subtle shiver that went to your trembling hands, you cleared your throat trying to play it down. 

"Take deep breaths, don't close your eyes," his hands left yours, now going to your abdomen, his nose brushing against your ear as he kept whispering, "good, good girl."

Your teeth captured your lower lip as you held back a whimper. Squirming in your place, you felt weak on the knees as his hands left a squeeze on your hips. 

"Now… shoot."

You listened, and your hand let go of the string. Your eyes widened with surprise as the arrow hit close to the bullseye, which was certainly not perfect, but it was an improvement. A smile appeared in your face as you tilted your head to appreciate your achievement, and soon a giggle escaped you. 

"Oh, Gods…" you sighed, "I did it."

"You did it," Aemond said, "you did so well."

His words made your face turn to face him, and his lips were just a few inches away from yours. Your breath hitched, as your heart pounded with so much strength that you thought he would be able to hear it… even feel it. His hand traveled upwards your body until it reached the nape of your neck. 

For a moment you thought he would kiss you, that his soft-looking lips would dare to touch yours. But suddenly, he pulled away. Few seconds later, footsteps were heard dragging the snow beneath their feet, and soon you found out the reason behind his abrupt reaction. 

"Sister!" you heard. The deep and roaring voice of your brother woke you up from your trance, and you turned around to face him. 

You saw a frown upon his face as his eyes narrowed. For a moment you thought he saw how close you were with Aemond, but soon his own words proved you wrong. 

"Septa has been waiting for you for an hour!" he scolded you, "why are you still here?" 

It took you a while to speak, you knew your voice would come out weak and thin if you dared to utter a word in that moment, which not only would make Cregan be suspicious of what happened, but also would embarrass you in front of the charming prince. 

Luckily for you, Aemond decided to step in. 

"I was helping her train, my lord, I'm sorry for the disruption I might have caused," you looked down at the steps Aemond had left in the snow, right beside yours. 

You were quick and subtle once you purposely stepped on them to erase them. Aemond noticed and he couldn't help but smirk. 

"Well, stop your training and go," he demanded, "you might continue tomorrow."

You had no choice but to obey. One last glance was given to Aemond as you bowed to him, saying goodbye. Cregan followed your frame as you entered the castle, and then he turned to look at the prince. Aemond was no fool, he knew Cregan was not ignorant of his intention… he was a man after all, he could see through his facade with no big effort. 

However, he did not say anything about it. He just nodded, and then he left leaving Aemond standing alone with the burning desire running down his body. 

At first, he planned on just seducing you… but now? Now he will have you. He needed to have you. 

That same day, quite late at night, you were found in your chambers, laying on your belly on top of the fur carpet right in front of the warmth of the fireplace. A book was between your hands as your eyes followed the traces of the poetic words that were written in it. The sound of the fire crackling and burning the wood was the only thing you were able to hear until three soft knocks interrupted the quiet calmness of the night. 

You barely looked up as you muttered a soft 'come in', turning the page to continue with your reading. The door was opened in a subtle movement that you barely noticed, and soon you heard steps getting close to you. 

It wasn't until you were able to see the shoes of that person that you decided to look up, only to find Aemond's grin staring back at you. You immediately sat up, crossing your legs and trying to cover your breasts with the book; the fabric of your nightgown was thin, and you knew that your skin could usually be seen through it if he dared to squint to take a look. 

Your body hasn't forgotten about his touch and closeness, and in a certain way it was actually craving for more of that. But you knew it was not proper, you've heard whispers around the castle claiming that he was actually betrothed to one of Lord Baratheon's daughters, meaning he already belonged to someone else. 

And yet, you couldn't help but to feel the eagerness to touch him. 

"My Prince," you said, the shock of seeing him there, sitting on the carpet right beside you was shown in your voice, "what- what are you doing here?" 

"I found myself alone and bored in my chambers, so I decided to wander around the castle and the path brought me here… to you," he smiled kindly as he said those last two words. Words that made your heart beat faster and your cheeks turn red, "were you reading?" He asked, pointing at the book that was covering your pebbled nipples.

"Uh… yes," you nodded, shyly, "it's a book about poetry."

"Poetry?" He asked, raising his eyebrows, "Mind if I have a look, little wolf?" 

You couldn't help but to wildly blush with the pet name, feeling butterflies inside your belly as you pulled the book out of your chest and left it in his hands. Aemond's eyes inevitably went to see your soft breasts covered by a thin white layer of silky fabric, breathing deep and harsh as he felt his cock twitch inside his pants once he managed to see your nipples through it. 

He remained calm, even when the only thing he wanted was to rip that gown out of your body and take you right there. Instead, he just sighed as his fingers elegantly turned the pages, reading some extract of the love poems in the book. 

"I see you're a romantic person, my Lady," he commented, without taking his eyes off of the pages, "do you consider yourself a fan of the genre?" 

"It's something that I enjoy reading, yes," you nodded. 

"I had the impression," he confessed, closing the book and leaving it aside, "have you ever been in love?" 

You shook your head, "I don't- I don't think so."

"Mhm…" he sighed, "that’s odd, you're a gorgeous lady, one might have thought you had a lot of suitors waiting for you."

"You're too kind," you said, looking retrained for a few seconds. 

"I'm just stating the facts, little wolf," he spoke softly, "It seems like your brother likes to scare them away."

"Them?" You asked confused. 

"Your suitors," he clarified, "that's the only reasonable explanation of why you are not married yet."

"He just wants the best for me," you defended him. 

"And what would that be?"

"A husband who not only sees me as a womb with legs, but also as something precious, something worthy of love and care," your dreamy voice made Aemond smirk, the naiveness in you amused him in so many ways.

"You're asking for too much in a society like this, don't you think?" 

You shrugged, "a girl can only dream."

The prince nodded, "and a man can only fulfill those dreams, am I right?" You remained silent, avoiding his heavy and penetrative stare at all cost, "have you ever been this close to a man before?" 

"No…" 

"I could tell," he chuckled, a sound that buzzed into your ears and made your mind go fuzzy, "you were quite nervous when I helped you with your bow this morning."

"I don't feel very comfortable with the proximity of men…" you confessed.

"Of all men, or just of me?" 

That's when you realized where this was going, and the panic quickly installed in your gut as you swallowed hard. It took you some time, but you finally noticed his true intentions. You knew you had to stop him before things went further. 

"My prince, I'm not quite sure what you mean by those words," you started to stand up, tumbling in your knees, "but it's late and it wouldn't be proper for you to be seen in my chambers, so please-" 

Your words were interrupted by the sudden action of Aemond, who pulled you closer until you stranded him, your legs at each side of his body as he forced you to sit on his lap, his hands pressed in your hips firmly, not allowing you to escape from his strong grip. 

"I think you know what I mean, my lady…" he whispered, leaning closer to your ear only to mutter with his seductive and raspy voice, "I think you can feel it."

Your breath hitched in your throat at the same time you tried to speak, "I- I don't know…" 

"Tell me what you felt when I touched you this morning," he commanded, his hands lowering to your thighs, starting to lift the thin fabric of your gown, "was it similar to what you're feeling right now?" 

"I… I don't-" 

"I sensed your nervousness when I said how good of a girl you are," he chuckled, starting to breathe in your neck, smelling your sweet scent, "does that arouse you, little wolf? Being praised?" 

"Prince Aemond, this is not proper, please-" you tried to pull away, but his grip pushed you down once again. Now you were able to feel his hard-on pressing right down your core, which sent you a sensation that caused chills down your spine. 

"That's not what I'm asking you," he spoke sternly, massaging your thighs, squeezing them every now and then, "Mhm… my sweet little wolf, you're shaking. Are you nervous now? You don't have to be, I won't hurt you."

"I told you I do not enjoy this," you breathed out, feeling his hands reaching your hips underneath your gown. 

"So you're telling me that if I dare to touch between your legs… I would not find your cunt drenching for me?" 

His words made you squirm, the blush running to your cheeks as his thumb started to caress your mons pubis. Your body tensed as you widened your eyes, feeling his finger pressing down. 

“I- I don’t- my Prince, please stop-” a small moan interrupted your words as he found your clit between your folds. His thumb rubbing it slowly as you closed your eyes; embarrassed that he was touching such a private part of your body. 

“Have you ever been kissed, my lady?” He asked, trying to hold back a groan as he felt your slick coating his digit, “Has someone been lucky enough to be the first to claim your beautiful lips?”

You shook your head, Aemond hummed with delight.

“Then I guess I’ll be the first…” 

You barely were able to process his words when he pressed his soft lips against yours. Slow movements that were easy for you to follow without much struggle as you held back whimpers of pleasure, for his thumb was still torturing your pearl in a slow and gentle manner. 

Your hand fell on his chest, not with the intention of pushing him away. You grasp his thin blouse, catching the fabric between your trembling hands as you felt the tip of his tongue starting to tease your lips. Hesitantly, your lips parted just a few inches, enough to give him space for him to claim your mouth; swirling his tongue against yours as you tried to keep up with his slow and tempting actions. 

He was able to taste your inexperience, the way you would doubt your movements before actually doing them was enough proof for him to know that you were not lying; he was the first man to kiss, which now made him more eager to also become the first man to fuck you. 

A gasp escaped your swollen lips when, in a sudden movement, he laid your body in the soft carpet, spreading your legs and placing himself between them. Your nightgown was wrinkled around your hips, exposing your glistening folds to him as he kept playing with your now sensitive clit. Soft mewls were heard as he stopped kissing you in order to taste your skin. You felt the wet caresses of his lips in your neck, your jaw, your collarbones, all while your hands were grasping the fur of the carpet beneath you. 

His fingers were soon covered in your juices, your hips trying to move against them in an attempt to feel more, but he pulled them away and you widened your eyes once you saw him licking them and humming after he felt your sweet taste against his tongue. Your breath was caught in your throat as you heard him groan. 

"My lady, you taste as sweet as you are," he spoke slowly, you blinked a couple times still feeling your mind fuzzy, "do you want a taste?" 

You gulped, not entirely sure of what to reply. The words were unable to come out, so all you could was nod. 

A careless smile appeared on his face as he left a soft kiss on your cheek, before you realized your legs were on his shoulders and his face buried in your drenching cunt as you tried to squirm away from the overwhelming pleasure his tongue was providing you. 

His slurping was heard, echoing in the room as you tried to push his head away from your pussy, breathing fast and unsteady as he devoured you. You felt his tongue teasing your needy hole as his nose rubbed against your clit, making you moan a bit too loudly. His hands were grabbing your hips tightly, just to make sure you don't escape from him; his fingertips burying in your soft skin as your body writhe under his skilful mouth. 

You could feel your own slick slipping down your thigh along with his spit. It was messy, far from being as slow and calm as the kiss he gave you before. He was eager to make you cum; licking, sucking, and fucking your cunt until you were nothing but a moaning mess. 

It was over before you even noticed it. With a loud gasp, your eyes rolling and your thighs pressing at each side of Aemond's head, you reached your first orgasm, which finished with you gulping and hiccuping with pleasure. You heard him moaning against your soaking folds, collecting all your slick to then lean over your body. 

He took a look at your face, your lips quivering as your cheeks were burning and tinted with a furious red. His fingers reached your chin, and made you open your mouth, which you did without hesitation. His spit fell in your tongue before your glistening eyes closed as you whimpered. You were able to taste yourself in it, the sweetness of your release coating your tongue. 

"Swallow it," he commanded, and you quickly obeyed him, "good girl…" he let out a chuckle, and you couldn’t help but to feel an unknown heat running down your body. "See? I told you you were sweet, doesn't it taste good?"

You nodded, sighing. 

"So good, so delicious…" he leaned to kiss you again as his hands pulled down your gown, freeing your breasts, "I swear it, my lady, I will not rest until your cunt is mine forever."

His big hands left a soft squeeze on your tits before they went to his pants, untying the lace and pulling them down. His leaking cock was now on your sight, hard and reddish. You barely noticed he took off his shirt as you were too hypnotized seeing that specific part of his body. Aemond immediately noticed your curious eyes, and he teasingly grabbed his cock in his hand only to stroke it a few times before letting it on top of your clit. 

"Do you want it, my lady?" He whispered, starting to rub himself on you.

You whined, looking down at the obscene scene of his cock parting your puffy lips. 

"Do you want my cock to make you feel good?" He groaned, feeling your slick coating his shaft, "I will give it to you if you ask me… Tell me what you want."

You gulped, trying to pronounce pleas. 

"Aemond… I- I want…" 

"Tell me, my beautiful lady," he muttered, "tell me what you desire."

"I want you… please… it's hurting, I-" 

The head of his cock reached your hole and he slowly started to sink in you. Your eyes widened as a soft cry escaped your throat. Your legs closed as you brought them against your chest, and Aemond groaned in disapproval. 

"Come on, darling… keep your legs open for me," he cooed, "I want to see your pretty pussy taking my cock."

He held the back of your knees, keeping your legs folded but spread. His cock was buried in your tight cunt as tears of pain started to fall down your cheeks. A loud cry was heard, louder than all of the others, and Aemond was quick to put his hand on top of your mouth. 

"Sh, sh…" he whispered, "It's okay, it'll pass. Just relax, my lady, it will feel so good."

He spreaded you open with one push, your back arched as you struggled to take him. He stayed still for a few seconds before his own lust decided that he could not wait any longer. Your walls were squeezing him deliciously as he started to pound against you, groaning and moaning as the pleasure was taking the best of him. 

Grasping on the fur beneath you, you started to sob. Aemond saw the signs of pain in your face and he quickly leaned over you in order to take one of your pebbled nipples into his mouth. The feeling that brought you was indescribable, and soon the pain became bearable as his thrusts remained slow but became harder. 

Aemond would choke his moans against your tit as his tongue skilfully swirling around it, licking and sucking as he kept fucking you, each thrust going deeper and deeper. 

"Fuck…" he sighed, "your pussy is so fucking tight. Made by the Gods just for me."

His words made you drool as the warmth of the fireplace was starting to affect you, making you sweat. His hand left your mouth, now going to play with your swollen and needy clit. 

"This little cunt belongs to me now, doesn't it?" he purred against your ear. 

"A-Aemond..."

He hummed, "how sweet you sound when you moan my name like that."

"P-please…" 

"What is it, my lady?" he teased you, "do you want to cum? Do you want to make a mess on my cock?" 

"Y-yes…" you managed to say, choking with your words as he thrusted harder, "Oh, Gods! Yes…"

"That's it, sweet girl…" he praised you, "taking me so well, so good. I'm gonna fill you up, leave you leaking with my cum. Is that what you want?" 

"G-Gods… yes, p-please!" you whined. 

"Then I guess I have no other choice but to give you what you want…" 

A soft chuckle left him as his thrusts became faster. His hips smacking against yours as he gripped your arsecheeks to gain stability. The sound of your slick drenching around his cock echoed in the room as you started to cry out, sobbing with pleasure and begging for more. 

Aemond looked at your cunt, and a soft and subtle whine was heard as he saw the way his cock disappeared between your folds. Your pleas would only make him desperate, eager to reach his climax and seeing your abused hole leaking his pearly seed. The image alone was enough to make his cock twitch inside you. 

"Fuck, so good… so fucking good," he lifted your hips, pounding restlessly against you as he leaned his head back, closing his eyes as his breathing turned unsteady, "such a perfect pussy, squeezing me so fucking good." 

You clenched around him, and that was what sent him over the edge, spilling his big loads of cum inside of you at the same time that your release exploded. Your cries were heard even in the hallway, as the intensity of your orgasm took over your shaky body. The feeling of him stuffing you with his seed sent you a shiver down your spine that made you twitch your hips. 

Aemond leaned over you to kiss you, pounding lazily as he was coming down from his orgasm. You receive the sloppy kiss as your eyes were closing by themselves, too worn out to keep them open. 

But then, Aemond decided to speak. 

"Look at you, sweet girl…" he said with an odd tone that you haven't heard from him until now, "what would your big brother say if he saw you now, huh? Filled with my seed, a mess under my touch."

Your breathing stopped for a second and only then you realized what you did. You opened your eyes only to find a smirk on his face, and your heart dropped. 

"You probably will be swollen with my bastard in a few months… then what would the people think of you? The Heart of the North carrying the Prince's bastard child…" 

"N-no…" you muttered, starting to softly push his chest. 

"Mhm, yes…" he scoffed, "unless I take you as my bride, of course."

A shaky breath came out of your nose as tears of despair fell down your cheeks, your bottom lip quivered as your gleaming eyes looked at his. 

"W-would you… would you take me as your wife?" 

Aemond smirked, starting to pull out of you. He hummed delighted with the view as he saw the pearly drops leaking out of you. He sighed, putting his pants on and fixing his clothes. 

"If your brother decides to join his forces with ours, I will take you as my bride and no one will know this happened before our marriage…" he said, standing up and looking down at you. "But, if he decides to join my sister's army…" 

He doesn't even need to finish the sentence for you to know the consequences of that. The panic ran down your body as you sat in the carp carpet, covering your nudity with your nightgown and crying. 

"How- how am I supposed to-?" 

"Cregan Stark will do anything his little sister commands," he interrupts you, taking a few steps towards you to gently grab your jaw in his hand, forcing you to look at him, "so you better choose the right option, my lady."

He left a caress in your cheek with a smug smile on his face. He abandoned your chambers, letting you there feeling helpless and a bit scared. 

It wasn't a big surprise for him when a few days later Lord Stark gave him the good news… and Aemond fulfilled his words, marrying you a month after the North joined the war and helped King Aegon II win the final battle against Rhaenyra. 

What was a surprise, was the birth of your first child, a month earlier than what the Maesters expected.

[meieis]

My note: Actually... I wasn't going to make part two, but I saw two people's comments about part two... So if even two people want part two, I can't sleep comfortably without to write part two. I use translate, so I may miss mistakes from time to time.

Synopsis: Lute have Vaggie's fate and is found by Charlie Morningstar's twin

Warning(?): nothing

fallen angel (Lute x reader) -2

Actually, it wasn't that hard to live with you, okay you were unreliable but you were still like 'good'. You were kind of teaching Lute about hell, so... As a result, Lute doesn't trust you, but she needs to stay with you because she has nowhere to go.

"It's too ugly, I'm not doing this" she said looking disgusted when she saw the outfit you showed her "It's so pink and pink and blue look so mismatched-" you cut her off with a smile "This is Velvette's newest hit, I spent a lot of money to buy it, Helsa also went to fight with me to get this... But i win" she frowned when she heard Helsa's name, she had heard your story 'Helsa von Eldritch' or Helsa, you had an enmity with her. The reason for this was that while you were only having sexual intercourse with Helsa before, after a while Helsa wanted to be your lover/date, you rejected and Helsa became your enemy.

“So what makes you think I would wear this?” You can establish authority over Lute, but according to the agreement, you have to 'protect Lute'... Actually... This creates a bit of trouble, so you have to act 'nice'. You laughed and your horns (similar to Lilith's) grew longer "Lute... Well, if you don't wear clothes, okay don't." You threw the dress on the couch and sat down on one of the armchairs.

Unlike Charlie, you were closer to your father, so you could sometimes or often show similar attitudes to your father, for example, you love ducks... And even more so, your profile photos on your phone are usually ducks, similar to your father, there are duck patterns on your phone case, also she had the opportunity to go into your room a few times and found a shelf full of ducks... You are father's girl.

You are probably pouted now because you have inevitably inherited something from your father personality. This is something unexpected from a 'sane' woman like you. Lute sighed "Please... I don't want to wear it, you know I don't like clothes like that" you rolled your eyes at Lute's words "so where do we find clothes for you-"

You two are in the world now. And yes, your hands are full of so many clothes, you never thought of this 'world', but yes... When you got back to Hell, you looked at Lute "We finally got you some clothes, so you can't wear that old exorcism uniform anymore." You changed the exorcism uniform a little bit, but still it still looked like it. She was dressed similarly. All the clothes she bought were similar.

You sighed, a while passed and Lute fell asleep. Or she sleep and you're sure of it, and your phone rang, "Yes, Dad?" You spoke in a happy and excited tone, "Charlie wants to see me and you!" Lucifer said with a happy attitude similar to you "Take that Depression!" You couldn't help but laugh at his words "she must not want to see me-" Lucifer interrupted you "No, no, you are coming with me! We will go together-" You didn't know what to do but you said you would come he said he would come in 1-2 hours and your conversation was over.

Actually, you haven't seen Charlie for years (maybe 1-2 years, you're not sure), which could be good... You were going to with Lute, but the only thing you didn't know... There, the vaggie that caused Lute to fall and fall in a similar way to Lute and now It was that she was dating Charlie.

[bird-inacage]

Only Friends: Sand's First Display of 'Messy' Behaviour

I'll preface this by saying I adore this man, and he's probably been the least problematic individual out of the Self-Proclaimed Friendship Circus. However, what left me with a chill was how Sand behaved when he revealed the affair to Ray.

Since we've been introduced to Sand, I think many of us have been pretty relieved by his largely green flag behaviour (in the midst of a very low bar being set in this group). This has often had me wondering what Sand's wider arc is going to be. The writers are not going to keep his storyline on one setting the whole way through. Therefore it's natural to anticipate we will be given another side to Sand - perhaps a less sympathetic or irrational part of his character. And maybe this was our first inkling into Sand's imperfections. He's also prone to vengeance and acting with an ulterior motive in mind.

Why it left me feeling so uncomfortable is because we haven't seen Sand in this light before. His score card has been pretty blemish-free.

Fuelled by a Vendetta

Nick shared this knowledge with Sand a while ago. However what triggered Sand to do something about it now was his confrontation with Top. We don't yet know what the circumstances were behind Top stealing Sand's ex from him, and how that played out. But it's evidently a sore grudge that Sand still very much holds against him.

Seeing Top again reminded Sand of the information he has at his disposal which could be used to teach Top a lesson. Sand is a very righteous person, and he doesn't think it's fair that someone should ruin his previous relationship, and now get what he wants with Mew as well. He wants Top to be punished. 'You're going to get what's coming to you, just wait'. It's possible that Sand didn't have the resources or means to get back at Top back then. But now he sees an opportunity to do so.

Combined with the fact that Sand has recently discovered that Ray loves Mew, this provides him with the perfect excuse for passing this information on. One, because as an outsider of their group, this can't come directly from him. Two, he knows based on Ray's temperament and his feelings for Mew, he'll be guaranteed to act.

Motivated by Selflessness or Selfishness?

I was originally going to post a deep dive on the scene between Ray and Sand at the bar, but I found myself constantly yo-yoing and ultimately undecided as to whether Sand's intentions were good or bad.

On the one hand, he's sharing this because he knows Ray will reveal the affair and Top will suffer the consequences. Thus, satisfying an act of indirect revenge.

On the other hand, he could also be doing this (as he so claims) due to his sense of righteousness. He just can't bear bad people getting away with bad things. And perhaps he does genuinely see Mew as a innocent victim here, and wants him to expose Top for who he is.

What also had me conflicted is that 'breaking' up Mew and Top doesn't play to Sand's interests. If Sand is romantically invested in Ray, and Mew becomes single again, this would allow Ray to continue pursuing Mew, which means Sand loses out. This is plausible if you're fuelled by unconditional love and a desire to see the person you love be happy. But I'm not entirely convinced that is the case here either.

You can also argue that Sand is 'using' Ray in this instance to achieve his objective, which is very questionable. He knows what a loose cannon Ray can be. Either he didn't think too much about the possible repercussions of how Ray would react, or he didn't care as long as Top got what he deserved. I don't think by any means Sand wishes to cause Ray any harm, but something really primal seemed to drive Sand to do this regardless of how Ray may be affected as the messenger.

So I don't know if I've decided yet. It could be a mix of all the above. This did seem to veer more on petty vengeance under the guise of righteousness. Mainly due to how Sand looks at Ray in that entire scene, which felt slightly manipulative and cold compared to how he usually has been with Ray. Especially when he says, "Mew is lucky though to have you by his side." It's almost with pinpoint precision that Sand triggers an image in Ray, to be the saviour swooping in to protect Mew.

All in all, I found Sand's behaviour this episode to be highly intriguing and unexpected. I saw a clip of First talking at an event recently, where he says something along the lines of 'when you see Sand do this, please forgive him', which implies there will be some further questionable or inexplicable behaviour later on potentially. Hmn.

[simpingland]

I WILL BE SEATED FOR YOUR ZALAGON FIC!!!! (plz take all the time u need!!!! I love your writing sm <3)

The Duty To Protect // Aemond Targaryen x Male!Reader. Part 2

Summary: after years as lovers in Essos, the peace is ended when they call for war. Aemond is left with the task of staying in the castle while he has to see the love of his life leave for battle. Angst +fluff. Part 1

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The sharp sound of clashing swords had become distant in your head. Still sweaty from training, the king's words were hard to take in. And you could only think of one person, Aemond. In your imagination a thousand things happened that ended up throwing him to the ground, wounded and dead. And then you felt that you could die too, because then you would never be able to walk around your castle again, or your mountains, or even breathe like before. For more than three years now, all you breathed in and exalted was his essence.

"Son..." said your father, in the sweetest tone you had ever heard him use. "This is your duty, to protect your people. Tell me you understand."

"I understand, father." Something came back to you at the word protect. "And I will do it well. I swear this. But I have a request, and only you can order it."

He accepted your request and patted you lovingly on the shoulder and let you go. But you didn't know where to go. You wanted to go back to your Prince, but on the other hand you wanted to let him enjoy the peace that remained in his mind. So you decided to watch him from the top of the tower, where the view of the training yard let you see how he was still training. You could tell him he was training too hard, but when you trained together, he was anything but productive. You were always his biggest distraction, because you were all about talking, playing with swords and shields, and besides, Aemond felt incapable of causing you any harm. And that also included saying "no" to training together. There were few things he could say no to. And it was for that very reason that you now debated whether to tell him the news now or to delay it. There had to be a way to stop him from flying with you into battle, but Aemond would not leave you alone, and that did not reassure you.

You saw your little sister scamper around the castle, kicking you as she passed behind you and laughing on her way to kick Aemond again. Aemond was able to catch her foot, stopping her and capturing her in his arms.

"Another princess bent on distracting my training, I see," Aemond said as your sister laughed.

"Can you teach me how to fight this time?" she asked, that was her daily question, she asked it at every opportune occasion and the answer was the same.

"You are still very little, but I swear I will teach you." The prince spoke to her as if she was an adult, taking her wishes seriously.

"You always say that. But you only help my brother..." then your sister looked in your direction, and you saw Aemond turn his head as well. You saw his mischievous grin appear.

"That's because your brother doesn't have much talent. He needs it more than you do. And you need to learn to read before you learn to fight."

That made you smile. Many nights, Aemond was slow to return to bed (or often to your bed) because he entertained himself by helping your brothers with their reading. His soft voice soothed them and he had much more patience for them than the maester and septas. Sometimes he would read to you on nights when you found it hard to sleep, and of course, any lesson explained by Aemond was much easier to understand, and you were distracted by that magnificent face of his.

You went down to where he was, and he began to pick up his sword. Your sister disappeared again as she found a playmate.

"I'm sorry she's such a pain," you apologised.

"Don't be silly, I like that she has initiative. You could learn it from her..."

You helped him pack up, and inside the vast weapons store, you and Aemond found yourselves alone. Then, with the morning light streaming in, the solitude of the place and both of you glowing from the exercise, you couldn't help but grab Aemond's cheeks to close the distance with a kiss. It was more intense than those you gave each other outside the walls of your rooms. It was a serene, deep kiss, and your need was palpable. Normally, between training sessions, you were also given to displays of affection, with calculated rubs on his shoulder or face, and the occasional peck when no one was looking. And in the face of that affection, Aemond would only blush and promise to repay you for the distraction in private. But you weren't flirting now.

"What is it, my prince?" Aemond had broken off and watched your face for whatever it was that had affected you.

"Nothing, it's just... I wanted to kiss you."

"Yeah... but there's something else."

You had to tell him. There is no person better qualified in those matters than Aemond. He had noticed it himself, and he would know better than anyone what to tell you to win a battle.

"Braavos doesn't want to negotiate any more. And neither does my father." It was enough for him to understand. And Aemond kept a distance.

"Are we at war?"

"Seven days from now there will be a battle. My father believes we outnumber their men and that the dragons will secure us--"

"Don't go," he interrupted.

"What?"

"Don't go. You can't go, they'll kill you." His tone was curt, bordering on insult.

"I must go. It's my duty as heir." You tried to forget his lack of faith in you.

"Then I will go with you."

"You can't. You must stay here, taking care of my siblings and my mother."

"What am I, a fucking septa?" He began to raise his voice.

"Don't get offended, It's you who thinks I'm not ready for battle."

"The reality is that you shouldn't go, especially not without me."

"The reality is that I am the one who will reign here and I have the power to decide about you."

"Are you ordering me to stay here because I have offended you?"

"I'm ordering you to stay because I don't want to look like a weakling in need of protection in front of the men I'm supposed to protect." That was a half-truth.

"For my duty to you is to be honest with you, and I know that if you leave you will not return."

"They won't dare to kill me on the back of a dragon."

"You could do it. They'd find a way to bring you down. You are distracted, clumsy, and you have never faced men willing to kill you before." Aemond's eyes seemed unwilling to look at you, and he remained overly serious, forcibly serious.

"This is what I have been trained for, and there is nothing that will stop me. Least of all you." You spat that last word at him as an insult, for he was offending you with his every word.

Without looking back, you left that room that held good memories except for this scene. It had not been your first argument, but Aemond had never been one of the dozens of people who doubted your ability. And to see that his biggest complaint at seeing you go was that he thought you were useless was painful enough. The rest of the day was spent avoiding him in the corridors, turning a deaf ear to your name on his lips when he saw you. In the evening, gathered in the room where your father conducted his business, he was able to sit across from you.

You paid little attention to the map, nor to your father's words, but when you turned to look at Aemond, he was attentive. He would certainly make a leader a thousand times better than you, too bad life wasn't the other way around.

"Prince Aemond," your father addressed him, "I presume you have been informed that we wish you to remain guarding the castle and the family."

"Aye, my lord. And so I will. Though it is not a role that makes me feel satisfied, your son needs reinforcements."

"I do not need them!" Your loud voice surprised the others, you were not known for your anger, nor your hostility towards the prince. And yet only Aemond seemed to put on a calm face.

"I need a proper rider," your father continued to speak, trying to ignore your anger. "And you, Aemond, are a competent swordsman, and my family trusts you. Though you may be sure that I also agree with you that my son should be helped...he is barely capable of paying attention."

That was what ended up causing you to leave the room. Ignoring your father calling you back. You wished Aemond had left behind you, but only your footsteps could be heard, and Aemond stayed in the room, with a pain in his chest at seeing you hurt and knowing that he was a cause of it.

Alone in your room you found no distractions, the sheets were still disheveled and you found a belt decorated with a dragon. You picked it up with the intention of throwing it out of sight, but ended up sleeping with the silver in your hand. And that's how Aemond found you. His weight was noticeable on the bed, and his scent made you open your eyes. Your back was turned to him, so you could only notice his hand stroking your hair and his lips planting a kiss on your neck.

"Are you sleeping?" he asked in a whisper.

"Not anymore" you whispered back.

Then he pushed you gently, turning your body to face his. Immediately his face was on top of you. And any anger was stupid in the sight of that image.

"Your father doesn't know what he's doing."

"It's not my father who offends me."

"Well, he does to me." Aemond returned to his serious and annoyed countenance, but not looking at you.

"You are very much alike. I discovered today that perhaps you are too much alike." Your tone remained unsympathetic.

"You know that's not true. Everything I do here I do for you, not for him."

"Because I'm useless..."

"No, that's not why, listen to me!" he put his hand on your cheek, begging you to look at him carefully. "It's so easy to spend my days helping you be a good heir. Teaching you things, waking up with you and sleeping with you. Being by your side makes me happy. So happy that I forget that this won't last forever. And when someone reminds me that we're not the same, that I can't protect you, that I can't help you...I feel like dying at the thought."

Then a tear fell and ended up on the collar of your shirt. You had never seen him cry before, though you had never been sent into battle before. You sat up, as if to remind him that he could lean on you.

"Aemond..." you could think of no words of comfort. It had always been you who annoyed him with displeasure and he always had the right words. He fiddled his hands on the sheets.

"We have to run away!" He said suddenly. "Let's fly away from here, explore Essos and create another dynasty..."

"And let my ancestor's die?" You interrupted him. He then seemed to snap out of that strange fantasy. "We may have been alone at first...but not anymore. I know you're nervous, but you're not thinking about my siblings. Nor my mother."

Aemond was slow to speak, the tears continued.

"You're right. I just disgraced myself..."

"Don't say that, it's not true." You took his face in your hands then, his eyes shining and one of them drenched in tears. "I'm scared too."

"Then let me go with you."

"No!" You put your forehead against his. "No...they need you, and I need you. If something were to happen to you in battle rest assured that I wouldn't survive much longer...you said it yourself, I'm distracted and clumsy." You said it half-jokingly, but Aemond felt a twinge of pain at the memory of his words.

"I don't want you to go...there always has to be another alternative. We'll come up with something..."

"I don't want another alternative. I want to protect my people. I want you to be proud of me."

"I'd rather be ashamed of you for years if it will keep you in this room with me forever."

You smiled at his comment, and he missed it. You gave him a short kiss, tasting his salty tears.

"That's not true, you're not like that. A great man deserves another great man. And I like that. A Prince with the mind of a king and the will of a warrior. I want you to be proud and look at me with that sternness and calmness of yours."

Then he smiled, shaking his head. You already knew what he was like perfectly, his sincere smiles were only for you, but his respect and affection showed in the seriousness he took in dealing with the people in question. To none of your siblings did he speak condescendingly, always taking into account their intelligence. With your mother he was gentle, and listened to her patiently and quietly. And with your father, he smiled, falsely, a short, toothless smile. And when you were finally back in your intimacy, his hair would fall down on his back, his laughter would be strange but familiar, and you would let him be awkward and bulnerable. And back in the daylight he was still as graceful and grand as the first day you met him.

He let you take off the ribbon that held his hair, and he also let you unbutton his tight clothes. That night, as on many others, you made love. But mostly, as you stroked his hair, he touched and twirled the rings on your other hand, talking until the sun began to appear. He always fell asleep first, and that night you saw him wake up too. Almost for a while you could forget the dangers that lurked.

In the days before the battle, every occasion was appropriate to steal a moment of each other's time, kissing in the corridors, studying in the library, exploring the woods, bathing in the rivers... and when you saw him eating dinner with your family, you found real comfort, for you knew well that they would be safe, and happy too.

"Is your armour heavy?" he asked as he put it on. Already the horn had sounded, warning of the enemy's arrival. His gaze was focused on the bindings and chains, avoiding your face.

"No...but of course the way you're tightening it, I'm going to need help getting it off."

Aemond let out a breath, and began to loosen it. You could see his sadness. He too was protected, and dressed to fly if need be. His hands were still nimble, but you knew he was taking his time on purpose. When he finished, he put his head on your chest and his arms around you, stroking your back, and you enjoyed his closeness.

"I'm coming back, Aemond...and everything will be even better than before." Your lips brushed his hair, and he closed his eyes in a nod.

"If you ask me right now, we can run away from here," he suggested again.

You pulled up his face to kiss him as an answer. An intense kiss that brought you closer together. Aemond tugged at your armour, and you felt his silver hair fill your hands. His tongue sought yours, and were it not for the trumpets outside, you would have spent yet another day lying in bed.

You said goodbye at the castle gates, where your mother embraced you, and where your siblings had to be separated to let you go. As your only farewell to your lover, under the gaze of the court you had to settle for pressing your foreheads together while he caressed the back of your neck and you caressed his cheek. You managed to whisper a few words in his ear.

"When I come back I will tell you of the glory and how much I love you" and you kissed the sapphire that decorated his face.

With your brothers clinging to his waist, Aemond looked up to watch you fly, Zālagon roaring in response to the roars of Vhagar, who was begging to fly with him, missing him as much as Aemond already missed you.

[waitmyturtles]

THE MORNING AFTER: ONLY FRIENDS, EPISODE 5 ("CH-CH-CH-CHANGES / TURN AND FACE THE STRANGE") EDITION

Well, well, FUCKING well. Man, I am REELING. THAT. Was a HELL of an episode of a drama. Jojo and his team need to applaud themselves.

Let me set this up by sharing with y’all a tweet that really stuck with me after episode 4, but I think it’s pertinent to episode 5:

Now, yes -- this is a touch of a generalization (many of my queer friends are straight-edge-and-or-early-to-bed-while-living-in-cities folx), but I want to note something important in this tweet.

Before I got started on episode 5 last night, after having seen a lot of the meta and reactions on my dash throughout the day, I shot a note to dear @ranchthoughts that I thought I'd have to get a little #oldmom on this episode. Speaking to chibi's note above: toxicity happens to be a common human trait. Seeing that there was QUITE a bit of surprise for Boston's "outing" of Ray to Sand on my dash actually surprised me.

From my lawyer friends, I learned about the following concept, and I just cracked the fuck up the first time I heard it, because it rang really true once I got my head around it: a lawyer friend once told me that when he started out at a typical major American law firm, his orientation included hearing a presentation from an older managing partner about the idea of the "equal opportunity asshole." Meaning: there's workplace harassment against protected classes, like race-based or sex-based harassment. But: can you get sued if you treat EVERYONE AROUND YOU like shit? And, he didn't mean on a personal level, not on an attacking level. Just on an abrupt, aggressive level. A bossy level. A very direct-toned level.

That kind of interaction -- an interaction with an equal opportunity asshole -- we know those kinds of people, right? These kinds of folks are...titchy. They might jump to conclusions. They're rooted in their worldview ONE HUNDRED PERCENT. They lack empathy. They make you feel unsettled. They are emotionally disconnected from you. They have NO interest in being emotionally connected WITH YOU.

When I dove into episode 5, I really thought I'd be writing about Boston as the equal opportunity asshole, and I think that this theory still holds to a great extent, but -- there's a but, a slight and fascinating-to-me but, that I'll get to in a second.

@ranchthoughts did the thing once more of covering EVERYTHING in her episode 5 ephemerality breakdown, so dear Ranch, I'm just gonna repeat some stuff you said in my own words, if you don't mind. First off, a couple of gushes:

1) That blind dining scene had me swooning. "Life is like a box of chocolates: you never know what you're gonna get," was what I was hearing when I was watching that. These lovely idiots are blind to what's happening in front of them, and what that means to them -- BUT THAT'S OKAY, BECAUSE THEY ARE YOUNG. YOUNG AND INEXPERIENCED. The blind dining metaphor, oh gawd -- using your senses to come to realizations about how you're truly feeling, and how to connect better with WHAT you're feeling? Slamming my hands on the table! BRILLIANT. Mew is SO clueless (OR IS HE?!?!??!).

1.5) And -- remember (all you young folks out there!). Youth is fleeting (cc the Ephemerality Squad). What we're watching of this cohort of "friends" is their building their bases of life experiences NOW, that will TEACH them how they will live more EXPERIENCED lives in their futures. Will their lives be better? Who the fuck knows. But their FUTURE LIVES will be shaped by what they're experiencing NOW.

2) Ranch nailed this already, but Sand is just as bad as Ray in living in the annals of time. (He's also naughty for another reason, which I'll get into in a postscript.) He's got the vintage tees, he wants to rewind to Woodstock, he's a fan of mostly classic Brit rock (....I will not call the Arctic Monkeys classic Brit rock, I will not, thus, "mostly," lol.) Dear friend @neuroticbookworm described this phenomenon of Sand's in the frame of Ray dabbling in a day of poverty tourism, as essentially what his day and night with Sand constituted. But I'd also add that Sand's living in a fantasy world of a couple levels to break the monotony of his everyday life. Those flashes of hope that he'll travel to world to festivals one day -- as he clocks 450 baht (around $12 USD) per bottle, as he sings, as he gets up and gets down -- yes, Ray is his fantasy, his non-existent 25th hour, Ray is the break from monotony that Sand needs as a thing to look forward too. Of course it comes crashing down.

3) But it'll come crashing down anyway, because I will posit the following: Sand's survival fantasies are necessary to keep him going by way of motivation, because Sand is going to be held back by others, and not just Ray. Sand is caught in a trap of filial piety. (OH SHIT! GIMME!) He's paying off his mom's debts.

We don't know how much the debts are. [We're seeing in Dangerous Romance that Sailom is getting his ass beat if he and his brother don't pay the debt collectors on time every month. Shit, the debt collectors are even trying to make Sailom an escort (which then turns into Kanghan buying off Sailom himself, but lemme leave that alone, WRONG SHOW)]. But even Sand's mom admits: Sand is solving a problem of MY OWN CREATION. How good is my son? He's a very good son. Drink up, honey.

Sand thought of Ray: wow, this guy might be into me, and shit, I'm into him. And I could use this right now! I could use this break. And that illusion came crashing down when Sand -- an intelligent dude! -- put two and two together real fast. And Sand, very rightly -- because he is FAST learning independence, in a totally different way than the main OF quartet -- pulls the hell away, and puts away the fantasy of Ray at Alone O'Clock.

3.5) I just want to note, real quick, that we now have TWO of my favorite-ist themes in this show: we have intergenerational trauma by way of Ray, and filial piety by way of Sand. THANK YOU, JOJO AND TEAM! *This* bitch is TRACKIN'.

4) Big ephemerality note here: I just, I SWOONED, GOD, I LOVED IT, WHEN RAY REVEALED HIS MOTHER WAS AN ACTRESS. And that she was bitter about getting pregnant and how that affected her career. Are you kidding me? JOJO. NINEW. ALL OF YOU. BRILLIANT. The ephemerality OF SHOWBIZ ITSELF.

Aren't all these actors risking their damn careers by potentially BLOWING UP THEIR SHIPS for the sake of this show? (I mean, that's actually a little far-fetched, as FirstKhao will be the first GMMTV pair to have an intercontinental fanmeet, BUT STILL.) God, the commentary on the FICKLENESS of showbiz was just CHEF'S KISS.

5) As Ranch noted, this was the episode where CHANNNNNGGGGEEEEE was the big bell ringing. Top needed something different than his sexual monotony -- so he goes after Mew, and shit, homes is bored AF. (@lurkingshan covered this perfectly here.) Mew contemplates changing for Top, the LASIK, the sex, all of it. Top seems to try a different kind of sex with Mew -- soft and romantic sex that ends with "I love you." Nick (oh, my bubby Nick), changes for Boston, becomes ripped, finds buttons and slacks. Boston contemplates whittling his list down. Ray wears secondhand (lol, it's called "vintage," asshole). Sand changes his routine to accommodate Ray.

And yet. I very, very often say in my posts that the process of behavioral change is INCREDIBLY difficult.

The five stages of behavioral change are: pre-contemplation, contemplation (Nick and the podcast), preparation, action (Nick at the gym), and maintenance.

The risk to this process, at any point in time, is: RELAPSE.

Think of how difficult it is to quit smoking. To go on a diet. To start an exercise routine. To stop biting your nails.

What is the thing that marks these processes more than anything else?

It's the RELAPSE into the old behavior, the old habits.

We really saw Boston trying to change...something. Trying to stick out...something with Nick. Trying on something new. Kinda like the way Ray tried on his secondhand shirt.

And then Boston experiences a familiar trigger: a trigger of jealousy when Mew calls him, innocently, to give Boston the heads-up that he's about ready to experience some cherry magic.

And that trigger, like all of our own triggers -- stress, a change of environment, a change of the people around you -- sent Boston back to a place.

Listen, I will, in no way, ever defend Boston's behavior. He was drunk and high AF, and he's generally toxic. Jojo is totally egging this on.

I would absolutely call Boston an equal opportunity asshole. He's only seeing the world from his own worldview, his own desires, his own desire to control whatever he can control around him.

But like I said before: toxicity is FAR more common that we'd like to believe. And toxicity within someone doesn't disappear very easily -- just like any of our habits, be they good or bad habits.

Boston was trying out a new life, for a few minutes (lol), of being a LITTLE LESS EPHEMERAL, a little less aloof -- a little less toxic. And a trigger brought him back to his bad place, and I think what we saw in that damn outburst was a relapse of the highest order.

Ray repeats to Nick what Top and Cheum have already said. This guy, Boston? He's nasty. Stay away. Boston's an asshole. Boston's still being stigmatized, and still living up to his label.

How would I summarize all of this? Throughout this ENTIRE episode, what was screaming within my head, as I said above, was: youth is fleeting. Youth itself is ephemeral. The experiences these young folks are going through at this moment in this show will build their experiences for how they will survive (or not) in their futures.

We may think that Boston, and Ray, and Mew, will not learn from their dumbass behavior, but -- they will. They will have no choice. Because their time being this young, and inexperienced, and idiotic, will flee. They'll graduate, and they will have to learn how to survive in a "real" world that may very well be far more brutal to them than their proximate friendships are to them right now. And man, if they have to experience lives that are MORE brutal than these proximate friendships they have, then good LUCK to them, because, well -- shit. It ain't pretty the way it is right now.

...

P.S. I just thought this whole scene was brilliant. Sand, honey, you're not as innocent as your meow feelings are letting on. I'm holding you accountable for what you're saying to Ray, too.

P.P.S. JENNIE.

(HAPPY SUNDAY, EPHEMERALITY SQUAD! @ranchthoughts @lurkingshan @neuroticbookworm @distant-screaming @slayerkitty @clara-maybe-ontheroad @twig-tea)

(HEY, SQUAD: if you tag me in things, and I forget to reblog, send me a DM! I'm on the last stages of this moving chapter of my life, and I don't wanna miss your meta!)

[ineffable-rohese]

Good Omens, or the Disruption of Gay = Death

CW: historical homophobic violence and death

@queerfables recently wrote an excellent meta on slash fiction and the concept of "Taking Away the Glass". I had some thoughts, which I was going to add as a reblog, but this seems to spiraled away from the original post, so I'm posting this on its own, but I'm referencing their ideas and references, so maybe go read that first.

This is especially for those of you who are, say, under 25 (which is apparently most of Tumblr), and who haven't had much opportunity to learn queer history. Let me say, I'm not a queer historian. I am a queer who has lived through recent history and can reasonably clearly remember the last at least 35 years of it, and I was fortunate to have had schooling that did include some earlier queer history and didn't shy away from queer topics. (I recognize now what a revolutionary bit of teaching that was.)

I also want to acknowledge that I'm writing from a place of relative privilege, as a white cis woman living in a progressive part of North America, and that some of what is history for me is still life for others. I am speaking from my own personal experiences here -they are by no means universal. But I think it's important for us to share our stories, so this is part of mine.

When You're Dying in America, at the End of the Millenium

Fables quotes a video by thingswithwings as saying "Homosexuality, or just loving touch between two people of the same gender, is equivalent to death in this media narrative." In the 1980s and 1990s, when Good Omens was written and first published, that wasn't a metaphor. When I was a baby proto-queer, what I heard about being gay was that it killed you.

My formative memories of what it meant to be gay weren't pride parades or even riots. It was gay men dying by the thousands and governments and religious leaders ignoring them at best, and welcoming their deaths at worst. To be gay, and a gay man in particular, was to be marked for death. It wasn't until a straight white boy who got it from a blood transfusion died that AIDS became something that "normal" people had any empathy for and governments really started to act.

The gay representation I rember in the media as a moderately sheltered child from the 80s and 90s with left-of-center middle class white parents was news about AIDS, Philadelphia (death from AIDS), Ellen (cancelled after she came out), and eventually RENT (desperately trying not to die of AIDS or capitalism). I knew a very small handful of out gay adults, and no trans adults at all.

My first time being in a large group of queer people was a vigil for Matthew Sheppard, who had been beaten and left to die tied to a fence. I remember being terrified. I wasn't out yet. I knew people who hated us might be there, this group of mostly young queer people gathering with candles to cry over a boy we'd never met, and over the many others who had died just for being what we were. I'd never even kissed a girl yet. I only knew my queerness in relation to death.

In the last decade or so of the 20th century, being queer was about grasping any bit of joy you could from a world that very clearly would prefer you were dead. It was defiance and anger and fear every time you held your love's hand, or kissed them in public. My second date with the person who would become my spouse was interrupted by some dude in a truck shouting slurs at us was we walked down a quiet street. We laughed it off - no one had thrown anything, or beaten us, so it wasn't a big deal. It should have been a big deal, but we couldn't let it be. When you're marked for misery and death, you can't let the little things get to you. You just hold each other's hands as tightly as you can and defiantly keep walking.

An Angel and a Demon and Immortality

Good Omens was written during some of the darkest days of the AIDS epidemic (which is still ongoing, by the way), before there were effective treatments, when gay = death. It is a mainstream, mass-market book. It wouldn't be shelved in the "Gay and Lesbian" section at the book store, it would be shelved with humour, or possibly fantasy.

And yet, here we have these two beings. An angel and a demon, with an unlikely friendship, and who are very clearly written as gay. Or, at least, as percieved as gay by outside observers. Aziraphale in particular is (in one of my favorite lines) "gayer than a tree full of monkeys on nitrous oxide," and "THE southern pansy" (self-proclaimed). Together, they are "consenting bicycle repairmen" (Neil Gaiman's explanation for context) who Anathema was safe with the whole time.

Whether you caught the subtextual shippyness of their relationship (and to be honest, I only did a little when I first read it), they were very obviously written as precieved-gay characters, in a story where their precieved gay-ness wasn't the cause of their downfall. Yes, an 11 year old calls Aziraphale a faggot. But he doesn't get arrested or beaten of killed - he just gets covered in cake. And he loves cake! The attempted insult just rolls off him like water off a duck's back, because he has no pressure not to be visibly gay.

Becuase, see, unlike us humans, unlike his gay contemporaries, he is not marked for death. He's an angel. He's immortal. Even more, he was made by God, exactly how God wanted, presumably, and that is intelligent, English, and so very gay.

Niel and Terry are saying so much here. You can be gay and loved. You can be gay and have a deep relationship. You can be gay because that's how God made you. You can be gay forever, through all time, with someone beside you, finding joy in your life.

You can be gay and not die. You can be gay and live.

[macleod]

The importance of stupidity in scientific research

I recently saw an old friend for the first time in many years. We had been Ph.D. students at the same time, both studying science, although in different areas. She later dropped out of graduate school, went to Harvard Law School and is now a senior lawyer for a major environmental organization. At some point, the conversation turned to why she had left graduate school. To my utter astonishment, she said it was because it made her feel stupid. After a couple of years of feeling stupid every day, she was ready to do something else.

I had thought of her as one of the brightest people I knew and her subsequent career supports that view. What she said bothered me. I kept thinking about it; sometime the next day, it hit me. Science makes me feel stupid too. It's just that I've gotten used to it. So used to it, in fact, that I actively seek out new opportunities to feel stupid. I wouldn't know what to do without that feeling. I even think it's supposed to be this way. Let me explain.

For almost all of us, one of the reasons that we liked science in high school and college is that we were good at it. That can't be the only reason – fascination with understanding the physical world and an emotional need to discover new things has to enter into it too. But high-school and college science means taking courses, and doing well in courses means getting the right answers on tests. If you know those answers, you do well and get to feel smart.

A Ph.D., in which you have to do a research project, is a whole different thing. For me, it was a daunting task. How could I possibly frame the questions that would lead to significant discoveries; design and interpret an experiment so that the conclusions were absolutely convincing; foresee difficulties and see ways around them, or, failing that, solve them when they occurred? My Ph.D. project was somewhat interdisciplinary and, for a while, whenever I ran into a problem, I pestered the faculty in my department who were experts in the various disciplines that I needed. I remember the day when Henry Taube (who won the Nobel Prize two years later) told me he didn't know how to solve the problem I was having in his area. I was a third-year graduate student and I figured that Taube knew about 1000 times more than I did (conservative estimate). If he didn't have the answer, nobody did.

That's when it hit me: nobody did. That's why it was a research problem. And being my research problem, it was up to me to solve. Once I faced that fact, I solved the problem in a couple of days. (It wasn't really very hard; I just had to try a few things.) The crucial lesson was that the scope of things I didn't know wasn't merely vast; it was, for all practical purposes, infinite. That realization, instead of being discouraging, was liberating. If our ignorance is infinite, the only possible course of action is to muddle through as best we can.

I'd like to suggest that our Ph.D. programs often do students a disservice in two ways. First, I don't think students are made to understand how hard it is to do research. And how very, very hard it is to do important research. It's a lot harder than taking even very demanding courses. What makes it difficult is that research is immersion in the unknown. We just don't know what we're doing. We can't be sure whether we're asking the right question or doing the right experiment until we get the answer or the result. Admittedly, science is made harder by competition for grants and space in top journals. But apart from all of that, doing significant research is intrinsically hard and changing departmental, institutional or national policies will not succeed in lessening its intrinsic difficulty.

Second, we don't do a good enough job of teaching our students how to be productively stupid – that is, if we don't feel stupid it means we're not really trying. I'm not talking about `relative stupidity', in which the other students in the class actually read the material, think about it and ace the exam, whereas you don't. I'm also not talking about bright people who might be working in areas that don't match their talents. Science involves confronting our `absolute stupidity'. That kind of stupidity is an existential fact, inherent in our efforts to push our way into the unknown. Preliminary and thesis exams have the right idea when the faculty committee pushes until the student starts getting the answers wrong or gives up and says, `I don't know'. The point of the exam isn't to see if the student gets all the answers right. If they do, it's the faculty who failed the exam. The point is to identify the student's weaknesses, partly to see where they need to invest some effort and partly to see whether the student's knowledge fails at a sufficiently high level that they are ready to take on a research project.

Productive stupidity means being ignorant by choice. Focusing on important questions puts us in the awkward position of being ignorant. One of the beautiful things about science is that it allows us to bumble along, getting it wrong time after time, and feel perfectly fine as long as we learn something each time. No doubt, this can be difficult for students who are accustomed to getting the answers right. No doubt, reasonable levels of confidence and emotional resilience help, but I think scientific education might do more to ease what is a very big transition: from learning what other people once discovered to making your own discoveries. The more comfortable we become with being stupid, the deeper we will wade into the unknown and the more likely we are to make big discoveries.

[busycucumbermelon]

Five vampire siblings, with one obsession

Summary : you never thought that your standoff-ish attitude and how you learned to behave at Sunshine Academy would backfire on you, especially in this way: having five people obsessed with you was far from easy.

Warning: blood,broken bones, very traumatized reader, vampires, threatening, sketchy jobs/illegal jobs, tell me if I missed any

Description of a Demi humans just in case Demi-humans once looked like animals, but have morphed over generations into human-like beings with animalistic features. story starts below this.I hope you love it or at least like it.🥰😊

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Author note

If you want a series or something with these characters, please give me ideas or requests as I'm not really sure what to do with them. Additionally, if you see that I have misspelled any names or the spelling isn't similar, please let me know as I'm unsure how to properly spell them and have been winging it myself.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Since you were six, you lived at Sunshine Academy, trained with Demi-human to serve owners. Occasionally, they allowed humans for tests, experiments, or their underground fighting ring, where many patrons enjoyed watching humans being pummeled to the ground. You survived it all, but the Academy decided to sell you off since you weren't making enough money for them. Everyone knew you'd survive, which ultimately led you to your current situation.

With your best friend becoming a  servant, to two of your five new owners - although you preferred to call them kidnappers - you struggled to adapt to this new life as one of their prized possessions.

Sadly, your indifference toward pain, your fighting skills, your ability to quickly solve problems, and your inability to be vulnerable with anyone besides your best friend - their servant - ultimately ended up pushing them all to the point of obsession. In their minds, you had no flaws except for that one: you didn't know how to be vulnerable with anyone other than your best friend. To them, you were the perfect plaything, and they used your skills and talents for their own benefit.

You also had a good mouth on you, and you weren't afraid to argue back with anyone, especially if you knew you were in the right. This often resulted in all of them being at each other's throats, which could be seen as both a win and a loss for them, and you.

This was a good opportunity to teach them how to share, which of course annoyed all of them. The only reason they were all together was because their mother had important news to share that she wanted to tell them at the right moment. In the meantime, the siblings tried to just sit it out so they could inherit the house. Well, it was not a house—it was a castle, and now, they had to deal with each other's constant presence on a daily basis, which was making them go stir-crazy.

Milmira and Marissa were the oldest siblings, and they were the new owners of your previous best friend, and still your best friend. This meant you spent a lot of time around the two of them, and luckily, they didn't feel like changing the name you had given him (Reiner) so that's the name he stuck with.

When you and Reiner first met, he was the same age as you—four years old. However, he had already been taken from his parents and sold into the Sunshine Academy.

Reiner was a ram Demi-human, and surprisingly enough, the two of you got along pretty well. Reiner was also the main reason you met some of your other friends back at Sunshine Academy.

Reiner, he became a servant to two people who would constantly interrupt your conversations and override the fact that the two of you were even talking. These two people would tell Reiner to either leave the room or to go do a menial task for them. Due to Sunshine Academy's intensive training, Reiner had a sense of loyalty and commitment, and he would do whatever he was told.

Marissa and Milmira were the only twins in the group, and they were used to sharing everything, including you. Without your knowledge, they had come to an agreement that they would also be sharing you. However, this arrangement felt like a complete surprise to you.

That's when you felt that you needed to take a break from them, or, well, try to do so to the best of your abilities. Even though you tried to find ways to distance yourself from them, the siblings had a discussion and decided to take away the room you had been designated. This meant you would have to hop rooms and sleep with one of the siblings or with a servant. However, luckily, you had made a bond with a few servants, which made your situation a little more bearable.

Occasionally, a sweet otter from the kitchen would allow you to share her bed or sleep on the floor in her room. You didn't mind sleeping on the ground, as it was something you had often done at Sunshine Academy. In addition, there was an overly clumsy deer who would let you sleep in his room at times, although it depended on whether he wanted you to or not. Of course, if neither of them wanted you to sleep with them, you would have to go to one of the siblings' rooms or Reiner's.

At times, when you would put up a fit, Reiner would get punished for it. This happened because the punishment would hit close to home for you. Additionally, since your training at the Sunshine Academy made you used to pain from them, they couldn't punish you by breaking bones or anything of that nature.

After a week of being standoffish and grumpy, while Reiner tried to calm you down and get used to his role as a servant, the twins instituted your first punishment: You don't remember much of the punishment itself, except Melmira giving you a soft apology before her fist met your ribs. Although you barely even said anything besides a small "Oh," you felt the crack and heard it, but you didn't move a muscle or indicate any signs of pain.

This unsettled all of them, as they were used to humans screaming in pain, while you just sat there. You didn't even move to stop her hand.

The twins each had very different reactions, as they were used to sharing everything, feelings included. Melissa, on one hand, was torn between feeling awfully proud and excited to see what else you could do, while simultaneously worrying what Sunshine Academy had taught you, as you were a human who shouldn't have been there in the first place. On the other hand, Milmira also felt worried and tried to bring up the topic, only for Melissa to brush it off.

In contrast, Milmira was worried about your closeness to Reiner from the beginning, as your attachment to him hinted at possible unresolved attachment issues. After she had broken your ribs, she became even more certain that something had happened at Sunshine Academy that the rest of the world was not aware of. Milmira was the more gentle and considerate twin.

Marissa and Melissa had vastly different reactions to seeing one of the siblings getting in trouble or drama occurring. While Melissa often wanted to stay out of it or watch from the sidelines, Marissa would cheer it on and add fuel to the fire. Meanwhile, whenever you tried to tell her that these situations aren't anything to be happy about, her excitement would often overpower any reasoning.

This was one of the reasons why the twins often got into long fights with their siblings, as well as one of the reasons they didn't like being in the castle—they were used to traveling and going wherever they liked. This would also be beneficial for their careers, although they had never told you about them, as none of them really informed you about their respective careers.

After a few days, you started to figure out more about them. You were used to studying people, especially since you held a high rank at the Sunshine Academy. On a few occasions, you slipped up and mentioned that you knew more than they had told you, and although no one said anything, your actions implied that you had been watching and studying them quietly.

Although Marissa never really noticed or paid attention to this, Melissa actually did take note. At first, Melissa thought you might just have a good memory or be observant, but now she had her suspicions. She knew that something was up, but she wasn't sure exactly what it was yet. She also didn't know if her siblings had discovered it either.

Krollien also discovered this, and he was the next to give you a punishment. However, before that happened, he decided to give you time for your ribs to heal and see if he could investigate your mysterious past and figure out what it was that you were hiding.

Krollien took this time to get to know you, much to the dismay of his head servant Jessie. You soon learned that Reiner was the twins' head servant, which meant he would have to be around them 24 seven, further limiting his interactions with those outside of this seemingly exclusive group.

This new information made you even more hyper aware of your surroundings, and how the rest of your stay would likely go, although none of them truly saw or noticed anything. You were, after all, quite good at bottling up your emotions, even with them all spending so much time with you.

Just one thing, to continue occupying your mind: why was everyone so upset about being in the castle, and why were they all supposed to be in the castle in the first place? Whatever it was, it seemed like it was taking forever...

While you wanted to figure out everyone and how you fit into their weird life, you knew you'd have to start with Krollien. Even though he was in a bad mood, his mood seemed to lighten when you were around. You soon realized that he hated being in the castle and seeing his siblings everywhere.

Whenever you tried asking him a direct question such as, 'How do you fit in to all of their weird lives? If they were all so obsessed with you and hated each other, how would they share?' He would simply laugh it off and tell you that you'd see in due time.

When he wasn’t trying to spend time with you, he was budgeting and doing other things you didn’t really understand. budgeting especially because at the time he was using terms, you didn’t get understand

In the middle of falling asleep,you would learn he ended up taking a vineyard to live in from one of his clients after not paying him back. this was when you started to have a grasp on what he actually did for work.

You thought you were pretty good at math so occasionally you’d offer to help him with something math involved. this was usually to Jesse’s dismay. as Krollien would always tell her to go away, so he could talk to you for a little bit free of interruptions

Even though this would often result in you teasing Krollien about his nickname for Jesse, which was "Bunny," something that he felt was supposed to demean her, you thought it was romantic and sweet, and you would occasionally bring it up when he annoyed you or if you wanted to annoy him in return. This would often make him frustrated and slightly embarrassed, and his response to this would always make you laugh.

Krollien’s frustration stemmed from the fact that his little sister, Lilybet, would often make the same joke before he left the castle. Although he might have found it amusing at first, it eventually began to grate on his nerves, especially as she continued to do it again and again.

The more she and lilybet got to know each other, the more she started to understand her circumstances. Lilybet didn't have a job outside of training servants - unlike her siblings who all had different illegal and legal jobs. When she wasn't training servants, she was mostly just trying to be the perfect daughter - something her mother did by having her wear very frilly dresses, which she constantly complained to you about.

Now she was starting to understand her siblings' worries, but she decided she would not worry about it too much and simply continue to get to know you. She was still competing with her siblings to see who’s official pet you would be - even though their mother told them to share, they all knew they weren't going to do that.

She especially hated the constant comments from her younger brother, Silus. Although they lived in the same house, there was still a sort of rivalry between them. All of the other siblings had already left and created their own estates, but the two of them remained there, waiting until their mother died to see who would get the estate. Still, this didn't mean there wasn't a lot of tension between them, with Silas always blackmailing her, and she doing the same in return.

Lily had a confusing behavior. After a hard, rough day, she wasn't usually very cuddly and often just wanted everyone to stay away from her. However, she let you stay. Occasionally, she wouldn't let you leave her arms after a really rough day. She would only get more and more annoyed if it wasn't her day with you.

Lilybet genuinely adored you, but when she had heard about her siblings hypotheses of your past could be she was less interested in how it affected you mentally and more about how it changed you physically. She knew you had a pain tolerance that was almost unbelievable. What else could you do? You didn't even flinch when your ribs were broken.

She brought you along on head servants' tests and training - occasionally giving references. One day, she decided that you would be the challenge - not as a real threat, but simply to teach the servants not to judge an opponent simply based on appearances. It happened only once, and something in you did change, although it was brief. For a second, Lilibet was genuinely scared for the servant's life.

Another person also saw you that day - albeit out of curiosity and a bit of fear. You're different than anything else that has ever been created or painted, making you much more intriguing. This made you even more special and the perfect subject to paint.

 Silas was an avid fan of art, specifically his interest in humans. He was very much into tattoos and the beauty of the human body. However, his tattoo-covered body always caused distress among his siblings and the mother. Still, he made it his goal in his business to show exactly that - the beauty of life in all its natural forms.

To you, his way of showing his affection to the world was definitely not beautiful. Silas would beg to differ, though, your days with him were mostly spent with him painting you. While he was kind of.... To put it simply, rude, his head servant told you that this is simply his way of showing he liked you. If he didn't, you would have been dead by now.

Silas didn’t praise often, and he was always filled with snarky responses; teasing manners; and occasional compliments on your features whenever he was painting you. In general, he was rude, and just a person you liked to stay away from. Unfortunately, you were now his household pet. While that word was very demeaning and beneath your status - no, you refuse to believe it - it seemed to be true.

You were not claiming yourself to be above any of the other servants in any way, shape or form. You didn't understand why this was happening to you. Why you had to be the chosen pet? Why not some other human? Why you?

Anyways, let's go back to Silus. We can talk more about the mental torment later.

Silas is very different compared to his siblings. He doesn't care what his mother thinks, and he barely cares about any of his siblings' opinions. His relationships with his siblings are relatively good besides Krollien - the two are completely different and hate each other, as they are complete opposites.

Just like the rest of his family members, he was not exactly a morning person. Silus was also different than his siblings when it came to restraining his strength with you, perhaps because of your past. Whatever the reason, he had a good excuse to not hold back when he was with you.

Whenever you tried to move out of his grasp, he would either pull you closer or tighten his grip on your waist. The twins would always comment on the purple hand marks on you, each sibling having their own way of putting their mark on you. However, these hand marks would last until you were with Silas again, right before he renewed them. These marks weren't even fully healed before they appeared again

Though the marks were not sexual in nature, you hated just lying there in bed. Silas, on the other hand, would happily stay in bed all day, unless it was for his work which he would brag about to you, or when he was painting. You were always his muse, but if you weren't there to model for him, his paintings would usually become inspired by nature instead. The only exceptions were when his siblings intervened because they were not letting him spend all of his time with you.

Silas wasn't always affectionate, but he would show a sudden softer side when it came to you. He would perform actions that were definitely out of character for him, and if anyone made a comment about how he did it for you, but not for someone else, they would not be around for very long afterwards.

Every one of Silas' siblings had their own 'special thing' they would do only for you. This moment only made their mother realize that she may have just made her own life a lot harder. She still saw you as a pet, but she feared that if she didn't have control over all her sons and daughters, they would continue to act as if you were on a pedestal, and she would lose any chance of gaining their true obedience.

Many of the family members, including Lilibet, had opinions on their mother that weren't very positive, many of them negative. Lilibet tried to gain her respect, but it was just for the money, and many of the servants had their own opinions on her - most of the opinions were not positive in the slightest. Their mother knew that you might just be the child who makes them realize that she doesn't offer them as much as they believe. In their minds, she is their mother, after all.

To the mothers, you weren't really much of a threat. You were a lowly human, and she could easily kill you if she wanted to. In the past, she had killed her children's previous human lovers after all. This time, however, something was different. Their infatuation with you quickly grew and turned into an obsession, and they could not seem to get you out of their minds - especially after you became aware of this obsession. It was hard to get five obsessed vampires away from a single human.

[soahbee]

A little update for you girls about the gathering!

It was really nice of R to take me, I couldn't thank him enough, but he reassured me that it was nothing to him because he was really nearby. We talked a lot on the way, mainly about school events and I was able to discuss the exam period with him again. It was so nice to hear him say he was proud of me. I always get butterflies in my stomach. I thank heaven that he is my father's friend, so sometimes I have the opportunity to get to know him better outside of school. As usual, the gathering was very pleasant, although now there were many more of us than before. I think my dad is more popular than me..lol

Fortunately, I get along well with the older age group, so it was no problem to talk to people. It's different that I could barely not watch R. Since R didn't drink because he was driving, I also tried to drink less, and to be honest, he still had a great conversation with me and we laughed a lot. My fear disappeared a little, I'm not just a student, I'm already his friend. (who is his friend's daughter but whatever) At school, he is much more measured, but I always feel that he is more direct at the gatherings and now he teased me much more than before. He still wears my bracelet and it makes me so happy. <33 It's so strange, when we are at these gatherings, I completely forget that he teaches me at the university and it's like I'm just a friend at this parties. And he also talks to me so casually and approaches me.

What is perhaps worth mentioning in this update is that our eyes met many times when we were talking to others and it was so inexplicable. I felt the situation was so special.

And in the end he was so nice because he offered to take me home after I told him I was tired and should go home. !!!!and when we were going he once touched my waist to help me get out of the house. then I tried not to die. He sooooo kind ahhh😩

and now I'm just sitting here in front of the computer and I feel that I won't be able to forget this man.😣💘

[haileyywrites]

Summary: Xiao has always been there to save and look after you. One time you take the opportunity to save him in return...

Pairings: Xiao x Gn!reader

Notes/Warnings: Reader is completely gender neutral! POC friendly! Fluff turned into angst! Major angst! Major character death? Talk of wounds and blood - not terribly graphic! Not really proofread, sorry!

Xiao always kept an especially close eye on the people who lived or visited Wangshu Inn, they were the closest to him and thus the easiest to protect. He also wanted to keep the surroundings of Wangshu Inn clear not only for his own peace, but to keep the customers safe and coming to repay Verr Goldet for letting him stay at the Inn.

He knew all of the regulars and those who lived there full time, so of course he noticed you when you moved in. There wasn't any way he couldn't notice you... You just couldn't help but make his life harder by getting into unnecessary trouble at least a few times a day. Sometimes it wasn't the kind of trouble that he needed to intervene in, but sometimes it was the kind that threatened your life.

Despite how many times he or Verr Goldet told you off it never helpped much - perhaps you would be more careful for the rest of the day, but the next morning it was like nothing at all had happened. You were back to getting in trouble and he got another babysitting shift... Honestly you were driving him into the brink of absolute madness with your carelessness! If you weren't so grateful after he saved you he would have thought you to have a death wish.

“I have never met a mortal as clumsy and careless as you. I would like an explanation for it.” The cold voice of the Yaksha called out to you.

“Oh, um... I'm not sure how to respond honestly. I swear I don't mean to cause you or anyone else trouble!” You tried reassuring him to no avail.

“I'm tired of hearing you say that when your behavior never changes.” He coldly responded.

“I'm sorry...” You muttered.

The Conqueror of Demons simply scoffed before dissapearing right before your eyes, leaving you alone at the golden fields not too far from Wangshu Inn. You stood locked still while deep in thought for some time, it too was rather reckless considering the roaming hilichurls but they thankfully didn't notice you. The Yaksha's words didn't leave your head as you thought back on your actions from the previous weeks.

You never used to get in so much trouble... Perhaps it was because of him that you had become so reckless - not that it was his fault. Having someone as powerful looking after you in a way had made you feel invincible in a way. You never had to worry no matter what came your way knowing he would be there to save and ptotect you... You definitely owed him an apology for everything.

You went to Verr Goldet for some help, but decided against just simply ordering some almond tofu which sge recommended. You wanted him to know you actually meant it so you wanted to make the food yourself, even if you weren't the best of cooks it was the thought that counted - right? You were in the kitchen for hours with Smiley Yanxiao instructing and yelling at you ecery time you made a mistake... He wasn't the best or most patient teacher, but the almond tofu wad done the way Xiao liked it.

You nervously climbed to the highest balcony and took in the breathtaking view before firmly calling out Xiao's name. He showed up in milliseconds with his weapon out and ready to attack, but to his surprise you stood before him looking better than ever with a plate of freshly cooked almond tofu... Behind his mask his mouth was agape from the pure shock, he didn't know what to do or say. The silence was rather awkward before you tried breaking it up by coughing and pushing the plate more towards him. Xiao quickly put away his polearm and took of his mask before accepting the plate from you.

“I made it myself. I asked Smiley Yanxiao to teach me how to make it so it should taste how you like it!”

“What is this about?” He asked curiously.

“I want to apologize... I've been causing you so much unnecessary trouble for no good reason, I'm sorry.” You put your two hands together before bowing your head downwards.

“...” Xiao stared in shock once again.

“This is in no way your fault, but it's your protection that's made me be so reckless. Knowing that you'd always come to save me I never have to worry about any kind of trouble. I'm sorry Xiao.” You said sincerely.

“I accept your apology on one condition.”

You raise your head from looking at your feet to look him in his gorgeous golden eyes and wait for him to continue...

“You have to start looking after yourself more. But, if you really need me just call out my name and I'll be there.” He said in a serious tone.

“Okay, sounds more than fair.” You nod with a smile.

“Good. I'll go eat this now, but I'll come tell you later how it tasted.” He awkwardly added.

You simply giggled before waving and leaving him to eat in peace. You would hold true to your apology after it was made and didn't get into trouble anymore - or at least not in the kind that warranted the attention of the Guardian Yaksha. It felt strange not seeing him most days, almost like you missed him in a way... It wasn't like you were close to him or even knew him, but you had grown accustomed to his appearances in your day-to-day life.

You started visiting the upper balcony daily hoping to catch him so you wouldn't call him away from his duties. He wasn't the type to sit around and relax, but he couldn't actually work all day every day - right? One afternoon you reached the top of the stairs and saw a familiar figure with their back turned towards you. You almost stumbled your way over to them from the shock and excitement!

“Xiao!” You called out.

"Hello." He simply replied.

“You actually take breaks sometimes huh?” You couldn't help, but poke fun of him a little.

“Verr Goldet said you'd been looking for me. Why didn't you call out to me?” He looked serious yet slightly concerned.

“Oh, um... It wasn't an emergency or anything! I was just wondering how you've been since I haven't seen you in some time.” You could feel your face heat up lightly.

“I didn't realize you cared about me... You need not consern yourself with my well being.” He too seemed embarrassed.

“Of course I care! And I can't just stop worrying about you if I don't know if you're okay.”

“I see...”

After that awkward "confession" you would occasionally meet up to catch up and see how both of you were doing. You wouldn't say you were friends, but there was something there... You slowly got to know more and more about each other, but it was a slow progress considering how awkward you both were - especially to each other.

You were supposed to meet up tonight too, but you hadn't arrived... Something was wrong - he could feel it in the wind and coursing through every fiber of his being. You were in danger. Do it. Just call out his name and he'll be there. Why are you not calling out for him? He can't help you if you don't. Please, just call out his name!

“X- xiao... Help me!” Before the words fully left your mouth he was already there.

His mask was on and his weapon drawn - ready to cut down his enemies and those who would harm you. He was like a mindless beast as he mercilessly and swiftly destroyed the monsters the had attacked you. His mind was filled with so much rage he was shaking from it, he could only see red and attack anything that wasn't you. When he was done he turned back to look at your shaking form, his attention was on the evident wounds you had.

Suddenly your eyes went wide and you lunged for him, Xiao didn't have time to react before he fell to the ground with you standing over him clutching your stomach. His eyes traveled down to see a weapon piercing through from your front to your back, the tip of the weapon peeking through the flesh of your back and dripping blood along your clothing.

Xiao was completely paralyzed, he couldn't move a muscle, he couldn't breathe. He didn't know what to do but stare in complete horror. Wake up. Please let him wake up from this nightmare - this nightmare has broken him enough with these illusions. Wake him up, please...

When he didn't wake up he set his sights on the monster that caused all of this, it probably couldn't even understand what it had done. It didn't matter. All Xiao could feel in that moment was pure rage as he summoned his polearm and put on his mask again, his knuckles burned white from how hard he was holding onto his weapon. He lunged forward and made sure to give the creature an unnecessarily slow and painful death.

When his rage had been sated he cane back to his senses and rushed over to you. You had dropped down on the ground with your back against the hard ground and your expression twisted from the horrible pain you were feeling. Xiao pulled you closer to him, but stopped as you sobbed in pain from the slight movement.

“What do I do? Please tell me what to do!” He begged.

“It's okay Xiao...” You painfully reached up to cup his face with your bloodied hand.

“I'm glad I was able to protect you for once.” You managed to rasp out.

Your shaking hand caressed his porcelain cheek so gently he almost couldn't feel it, neither did he notice the warm blood your hand accidentally rubbed against his face. His eyes stayed wide from shock as his breath escaped his lungs, he was at a complete loss for words. What could he possibly say in this situation? His mind ran blank as he tried desperately to not believe what was happening right before his eyes.

“You didn't call me... Why didn't you call for me earlier?!” He screamed in agony.

“I'm sorry... I didn't want to be a burden.” You smiled weakly.

“A burden? You're never a burden to me...” He whispered back.

“Thank you, Xiao... Thank you for saving me.”

Was that a joke? Before he could utter another word the light faded from your eyes and the pain left your face, you were gone... He didn't save you. He may not have killed you, but he might as well have done it - it felt like he had. Your blood was all over him and he was holding your lifeless body to his chest as tears fell along his bloodied face. His body was aching from using his powers, but nothing compared to the agony he was feeling inside.

In the time he had known you all you had done was get into trouble, but after your heartfelt apology you had quickly wormed your way in his heart. It was hard to explain, but you had made him feel so normal - so human with the way you treated him. Most people feared or revered, but you talked to him like he was just another human. He never knew how much it meant to him, how much you meant to him before it was too late....

A/N: Angst cus I like hurting my own feelings :'D

[mrsgiovanna]

Imagine Darling is pregnant. Both she and Giorno are certain that the bambino isn't his. So when the baby is born and they see the baby they all go into shock. Just imagine Darling being so excited to have her lover's baby then after 9 months of waiting the baby comes out looking like a tiny Giorno. Not baby Giogio but like a little Giogio.

Ooof nonnie, lolol okay I'm going to try and match the mood here because like everyone knows how much I need to have this man's children 🏃🏽‍♀️🧎🏽‍♀️🤰🏽also, was slightly confused about little giogio vs baby giogio, and im not as good at imagining infidelity so please forgive me if this wasn't what you imagined and for it being so short.

Tw: yandere behaviour, implied minor character death, fem reader, pregnancy

39 weeks... that was the reprieve you'd been granted against the smothering attention usually lavished on you by Giorno. Under any other circumstances, he would have been overjoyed... he'd finally have an heir, someone who would learn all he had to teach... however, as quickly as his joy had enveloped him, so did the levity of the situation at hand. You simply weren't as upset as he thought you might be at the prospect of carrying his child... he wasn't a fool, so he followed his instincts and poured over the security footage of the villa for the preceeding few weeks and caught sight of your infidelity... clear as day, limbs entangled and euphoria etched into your expressions, right outside his door. Surely you meant for him to catch you, or perhaps this was his karma for snatching you away from your life and placing you under his care... no matter, the damage had already been done.

From that moment onward, Giorno's demeanor had changed when it came to you, he didn't argue against your protests to spend time with him and his instructions had solely regarded the baby and their wellbeing. At first you welcomed the reprieve from his overbearing nature but when it persisted you knew something was wrong. It didn't help your cause when your lover had disappeared without so much as a goodbye. You hadn't found the opportunity to tell him that you were carrying his child, and worried that he had assumed the worst and decided to leave of his own accord. You were stuck in a precarious position... ask about your lover and rouse Giorno’s suspicions or suffer quietly in your ignorance.

Weeks had turned into months and your bump continued to grow. You had all but given up on your paramour, but you took comfort in the knowledge that you will forever have a symbol of the single thread of actual affection, in your child. Giorno had grown even more distant, your swelling midsection a continuous reminder of your betrayal, however, he couldn't bring himself to put you out or allow any harm to come to the child, the various horrors of his past would never see him become like any of those wretched people.

9 months of pregnancy cravings, stretch marks and swollen feet would culminate in one moment. Your labour was long and arduous, and for the duration you and Giorno had put your differences aside as you tried to bring him or her into the world. Many hours later when you were sure you couldn't possibly take any more pain, the baby had made their debut, just as the hour turned... April sixteenth, it was his birthday... what a gift he'd receive or so you thought... the nurses had smiled at the little blonde cherub with his shrill little cry, something dropped within you when you saw his precious little curls springing into place as they had wiped down his hair. To say that you were exhausted was an understatement, but that exhaustion was replaced by shock when they had placed your little one in your arms... piercing green eyes, golden ringlets...

"He's mine..." his voice was too calm, too soft while yours had vanished entirely. Tears formed in your eyes, your hands moving towards the border of the blanket, the little star birthmark on his shoulder had sealed your fate.

"Giorno, I..." you searched his eyes, but they were trained on the miniature version of himself nestled in your arms. Once he had overcome the shock, the gravity of the situation had dawned on him, he had finally had his heir, fate had smiled upon him once more...

[threebooksoneplot]

Question for G :)) how was your fanauthor workshop experience? I don't know if I should apply it sounds interesting but at the same time almost no reviews or whatsoever. Thank you!

well I ended up doing it a second time, so I'd say it was pretty damn good! I think the reason there are "no reviews" is mostly due to tumblr's format not really lending itself to that? @fanauthorworkshop isn't marketing itself as a product so much as a pedagogical (educational) extension of the existing fandom gift economy—an exchange where you both learn stuff and share/teach stuff!

this answer is mildly off-podcast-topic and it's gonna get super long and wordy, so it's under a cut lol you're welcome

my Fanauthor Workshop experience

personally, I found the FAW perfect for me. I was at the point in my fic writing where I was getting some lovely comments and glowing praise, but also wishing the world in general took fanfiction more seriously, as a craft to be practiced and discussed, something with both intrinsic and literary merit. @bettsfic's first episode as a guest on Fansplaining really resonated with me and kind of spoke to that desire (it's a must-listen for anyone on the fence about applying to the FAW!!)

but I had never studied creative writing at a university level, and barely knew what a crit letter was. I found the FAW was the perfect way to learn that sort of thing in a low-stress environment! I didn't struggle with feelings of burdensome obligation the way I had with schoolwork; rather I was excited to read everyone else's writing and see what it had to teach me. I also loved having an appropriate venue to air all my writing opinions, lol. I found I was so motivated that I managed to attend every FAW session even though it conflicted with family vacations two years in a row. I wrote crit letters from the lobby of a restaurant in a national park because it was the only place with wifi. I even Zoomed into one session from a random public library in Durango, where I managed to alarm everyone else in the irl vicinity with my enthusiastic discussion of fictional cannibalism (shoutout to the story we workshopped that day, it SLAPPED.)

personally, I approached the FAW with the very specific goal of Having Fun first and letting the writing stuff come second (ie, not putting too much pressure on myself when it came to choosing and polishing my own workshop pieces, and not worrying too much about how they were received.) I still ended up getting some AMAZING critiques and responses to my two (very different) pieces—I was deeply impressed by everyone's insights, how much they were able to pick up on, and how willing they were to meet me at my level. the other pieces we workshopped ranged all over the place in technical ability, from "giohvnsksbnf this writing is so good I'm gonna fucking eat glass" to "this person is clearly just starting out as a writer, but even if their prose has some technical mistakes, their story has Good Bones and their critiques and discussion observations have been spot on."

my big secondary goal was to Make Friends and there I succeeded beyond my wildest dreams. I now have SO many cool FAW mutuals, a few of which I have hung out with IRL and the rest of which I totally WOULD hang out with IRL if given the opportunity. they're all uniquely creative and clever people who I probably wouldn't have met otherwise, so that's kind of the biggest Win for me. it's so cool knowing I have all these people I could DM out of the blue and be like "hey, would you mind looking over this short story/beta-ing this fic chapter?" and end up with some great insights. there's also an FAW Discord where anyone can kind of bring fandom- and writing-related questions to the floor, as well as share recs and self-promote projects (or in my case, recruit podcast guests who I know have been pre-screened for both their chill lack of pearl-clutching and their basic fiction-analyzing skills, lol.)

I would recommend the Fanauthor Workshop if:

you're a self-taught writer who's done most of your learning in the fanfiction space and you're curious about how writing is actually taught in academic settings

alternatively, you're a writer from an academic background who chafes at some of the more restrictive rules in traditional workshops/you're tired of the irl Guy in Your MFA -types who refuse to or can't engage with your work on its level

you're ok with doing some "homework" (writing two crit letters per week) on the honor system

you're down to read original work in a wide variety of genres/read fic from fandoms you're not in (maybe even fandoms/pairings/characters you don't personally like)

you like what you read in @oficmag

you wish fanfiction was taken more seriously as a craft

your favorite trad-published writers all seem to be workshop alumni (eg: I swear half of my favorite writers are Clarion grads)

you have work you'd like to publish and/or submit someday but you're not sure if it's ready/not sure where to start

you follow writing advice blogs or send them asks

you wish people would leave "concrit" (constructive criticism) on your fics

you wish people would leave concrit on your fics but you're worried they might be too mean or not "get" your work

you wish people would analyze your work and give critique without letting their personal value judgments get in the way (and you're ready to do the same in turn)

you worry your work is too niche, kinky, queer, romance-focused, or "weird" for a traditional workshop (note: but it doesn't have to be any of these things. people also workshopped gen and the equivalent of coffee shop AUs!)

you'd like to hear perspectives that don't come from cishet dudes

you enjoy Class Participation and discussions (or maybe you're no longer a student and miss that kind of thing!)

you think @bettsfic seems like a good teacher (spoiler: she REALLY is)

you like the idea of a creative writing class with no grades or possibility of "failure"

you'd like to meet people you probably wouldn't meet in any other setting, and make some cool friends from other fandoms

if even a couple of these bullet points sound like you, you'd probably get a lot out of the FAW!! I hope the next session of FAW-ers have a blast. I'll be lurkin the Discord rooting for y'all