#SORRY I JUST GOT AN IDEA FOR A META TAG

[wr0ngwarp]

um. uh. hi every body. something evil and malevolent happened in my brain this month.

this is. um. a Jet Set Radio/Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of Death joke AU, spawned out of a in-joke that started in a pokepasta discord. my apologies to both the pokepasta and jsr fandoms

the entire basis is the idea that Corn in Future retconned og JSR Beat as leader/founder of the GGs (is beat being leader in the og even CANON?) so Corn and Beat are the Myras. no it's not a joke funny enough to justify how many hours i sunk into drawing these. no attempt was made to change the setting, assign most of the other cast, or otherwise make this au hold up to ANY amount of scrutiny. if i tried to make this actually work somehow then i'd REALLY end up too far gone. also i keep calling myrtle!beat "Meat".

MEANWHILE, IN A BETTER UNIVERSE:,

[alstroemerian-dragon]

ouuuuhhh so ive been attempting for a hot minute to associate this particular san fermin song w kuzuhina because i really like the vibes but i couldnt. find the bit. yknow the Bit. the Nugget.

finally found it.

(under the cut. warning: this is an au ramble and it gets Long)

first off:

okay. the au:

these two kids live in a small town. maybe not super rural, and not right by the big city, but its your typical smaller japanese suburb. neither of them are happy. theyre maybe ten or eleven, but one of them lives in an upper class, extremely controlling household, one where his parents constantly fight, and hes been subjected to at least some level of abuse. he also knows theres something wrong with him, something that makes him different from even his peers, though he cant quite see what it is yet. the other is alone, distant from his parents, distant from his peers, deeply depressed and unaware that hes even himself.

but theyre friends. in some ways, theyre all the other has in this fucked up place, and a majority of their happiest memories are with each other. they make a promise, one night, that someday, when theyre a bit older, theyll run away together. theyll escape this terrible town and theyll travel the world and theyll be together, and everything will be okay.

and then they grow up.

theyre still friends. but now hajime has figured out, to an extent, who he is, started at least socially transitioning as they get into high school. they make other friends, outside of fuyuhiko’s odd relationship with peko (the daughter of one of their family’s servants), find people to connect with. hajime reaches out, gets a crush on chiaki that she returns, maybe they even start dating. he changes.

and fuyuhiko… doesnt.

maybe hes too stubborn, maybe hes been burned too many times, maybe hes just too poisoned by his parents’ rhetoric. but he wont, or maybe cant, step too far outside of the box hes placed himself in. he watches hajime drift, feels panic inside, doesnt know how to fix it. they argue. hajime worries. fuyuhiko shrugs it off.

when theyre seventeen, fuyuhiko’s dad finds out hes been fooling around with other boys. hiding magazines, clearing his search history of anything incriminating. the confrontation doesnt go well.

he has to get out. its the end of the line, at this point. fuyuhiko has to get out. he packs, he plans, he prepares. he waits just long enough to knock on hajimes window, late at night, like he used to when they were kids and hed sneak out so they could run into the woods together.

he asks hajime to come with him. just the two of them, like they promised.

and hajime… says no.

he cant. he cant leave, not now. not when hes built something around himself. he has a girlfriend, a support system, his parents are barely in his life and as soon as he doesnt live with them they basically wont be. hes already preparing for university, locally. he cant just throw all of that out the window.

he tells fuyuhiko that he doesnt have to go. fuyuhiko knows better. wiping away tears and ignoring how it feels like his heart rips in two, he leaves, gets on the first train out of town, and doesnt look back.

hes gone for more than six years.

in that time, hajime goes to university, gets a degree. he and chiaki go steady, they both start hormones, they get good jobs that keep their heads above water. his parents arent in his life anymore. the kuzuryus move out of town, and he and natsumi share awkward goodbyes. she knows, deep down, that the only thing that could have made fuyuhiko stay was hajime, and since that didnt work… nothing could. peko stays, having grown up in her own time, and she and hajime bond over this quiet feeling of emptiness.

hes not sure exactly what it is. he misses fuyuhiko, of course, every day. misses him like a sickness that lingers in his lungs for weeks. but theres a piece of him that doesnt quite fit right, and it takes a long time for him to figure out how its connected.

and then, one day, out of nowhere, fuyuhiko reappears.

theyre in their mid 20s at this point. hes grown, though not much taller. he has scars, shorter hair, tattoos. hes cagey about where hes been, what hes been up to, who hes been with. he mentions traveling, and he mentions hospital visits. at some point, hajime stops asking, because some part of him doesnt want to know. the rest of him is just happy fuyuhiko is here again.

he asks how long fuyuhiko will be in town. the man shrugs, says ‘depends.’ hajime asks if he has a place to stay yet. he says no, he was probably just gonna book a hotel room.

he and chiaki have a pretty comfortable pullout couch, hajime says. if that would be okay for fuyuhikos back.

a bit hesitantly, fuyuhiko agrees.

for a week or two, things are… good. amazing, even. having fuyuhiko back in his life is like a puzzle piece clicking into place, like hajimes found something he didnt even realize he was missing. at first, theyre just catching up, getting lunch, roaming old haunts. catching up on lost time. but then they stop being away from each other at all. its like theyre joined at the hip, unable to be out of each others presence for more than a few minutes, and chiaki starts to notice. of course she does, she and hajime are engaged. she knows him better than he does, sometimes. and she and fuyuhiko were friends too, of a sort. though he wouldnt have let himself admit that.

she sees how he looks at her fiance. she understands, too, that hajime looks back just the same.

and then one night, shes out of the house. out with friends, staying at work late, out of town for the evening, it doesnt matter. its just the two men at their apartment, and hajime breaks out the sake. they drink, even though fuyuhiko generally cant stand the stuff, and they talk about the past.

it gets… personal. strained. they talk about things they probably shouldnt. they get heated, and upset, and they argue, and they say things they dont mean. fuyuhiko admits to being involved with unsavory business on the outside, that yeah, he fell in with the yakuza, and hes kind of on the lam right now if hes honest. hajime says if hed just stayed they could have been fine. he wouldnt be scarred and constantly looking over his shoulder. he would have been okay.

fuyuhiko says he couldnt have bared to be here any longer. that this town was smothering him, was smothering them, and he thought hajime understood that. says that he probably wouldnt still be alive if hed stayed.

in the middle of the fight, he kisses hajime. its something thats lived in his heart for so long, something hes never let himself admit or even indulge in, that even with the distance between them, even with all that time away, he cares so much for hajime. too much. so much so that it makes him reckless and impulsive and a danger to himself. hes not sure if its to prove a point or shut hajime up or stop the argument or just because hes an idiot, and he immediately regrets it, except… hajime kisses him back.

and then he kisses fuyuhiko again.

it doesnt last long. theyre both far too drunk on too empty stomachs, they both feel sick, from nausea and from the sinking realization of what theyre doing. what this means. its late, and theyre exhausted and wrung out, and they both go to sleep, apart. hajime in he and chiakis bed. fuyuhiko on the couch.

early in the morning, when chiaki returns home, that couch is empty. fuyuhikos things are gone. there isnt even a note.

and nearly ten years go by before they meet again.

hajime and chiaki get married. they settle down. they get an actual house, shockingly enough, and they end up adopting a kid. they start to get the surgeries they want and need, they change jobs, they branch out. they have support networks, and more experience just living, and maybe chiaki realizes first, maybe she realized a long time ago, maybe she knows that her husband loves her dearly but understands that there is a piece of him irrevocably tied to someone who isnt there. she knows. she gets it.

she doesnt force it. doesnt bring it up. leaves it to the man she loves to discover on his own, and he’ll confide in her if he needs to.

and then, in their mid 30s, on one nice afternoon, hajime and chiaki take their daughter to the zoo in the city. its warm and sunny, the place is full but not too crowded, and their daughter is around six or seven. shes tugging her dad around by the hand, unbelievably excited, and hajime is indulgent and laughing as chiaki trails after them.

they approach the part of the exhibit where the cranes are, tall and majestic and white, with their curved necks and sharp beaks. hajimes daughter runs to the edge of the balcony, jumping up and peering over it, and he calls after her to slow down, that hes only so fast. she looks back, but something catches her eye.

the man standing beside her, a couple feet away, has his sleeves rolled up.

“daddy!” she calls, as hajime approaches. “why does have pictures on his arms?”

hajime looks, down, at the colors that swirl across the mans skin. up across scars and the loose white dress shirt he wears. the fairly nice camera held in hands with long, lithe fingers that are far too familiar.

hes almost afraid to look up too far. his chest aches.

he does anyway, and meets a single golden eye, soft pink lips parted in surprise, as he and fuyuhiko are face to face again.

they dont have long to take in whats happening. six year olds are curious and far more observant than their given credit for, and hajimes daughter scoots closer, asking about the ink in fuyuhikos arms. what that is, what the pictures are. it distracts him, from staring into hajimes eyes, and after a brief moment of hesitation, he leans down and starts to explain tattoos, that his were very traditionally done, that he usually hides them but it was just so nice today.

he glances back up into hajimes eyes. says he doesnt really care what people think right now.

chiaki, a ways behind them, finally approaches, and greets fuyuhiko warmly. explains to their daughter that hes an old friend, that they havent seen him in a long time, and that her dad and he have a lot to catch up on. picking up the little girl, briefly squeezing her husbands shoulder and giving fuyuhiko a warm, steady look, she walks away, and the two men are left alone.

for a while, neither of them know what to say. finally, fuyuhiko asks about the kid, if shes, yknow, theirs or not. no, hajime laughs, they adopted. but he adores her, takes her to school, runs around with her outside, plays video games with her. theyre just in the city for a day trip, today, and have plans to go out to eat before heading back home.

its silent again, for a while. he asks how long fuyuhiko will be in the area. quietly, achingly. how much longer until i lose you again.

but fuyuhiko laughs a little, fiddles with his camera. hes actually in the city for school, weirdly enough. hes a lot older than most of his peers in his classes, but hes back to get a degree, maybe get a real job. hes done with all the shit from before, cut ties with the yakuza. its the first time he openly admits what hes been doing for the past eighteen years, and hajimes heart aches. that he wasnt able to help, wasnt able to pull fuyuhiko out of that.

they look at each other, and realize they dont know the person standing next to them. not anymore.

but somehow… that doesnt really matter. maybe the new person standing in their place is worth knowing too.

as they talk, hajime texts chiaki. when he gets a response, he invites fuyuhiko to come with them to dinner that night, for old times’ sake. he agrees, and actually joins the three of them wandering around the zoo for the rest of the afternoon too.

they take the train together, eat dinner. fuyuhiko is incredibly sweet with their daughter, falls in love with her instantly. shes bright and curious and talkative and constantly moving, and she points out that hes shorter than even her mommy and he cant even find it in himself to get mad.

at the end of the night, they have to go home. hajime, chiaki, and their daughter back to town, fuyuhiko back to his apartment. they say their goodbyes, and hajime lingers, unable to keep himself from hugging fuyuhiko for far longer than he should, far longer than what would be considered normal. cant stop himself from reaching up and brushing his fingers against fuyuhikos cheek below his fake eye.

he asks if fuyuhiko has a cell number thats available. fuyuhiko smiles and pulls out his phone.

they stay in contact over the next few weeks. their both busy with work and fuyuhiko with school, and they steer clear of talking about anything too hard, but they text almost daily. its not that hajime is neglecting his family either, hes just… there was always some space, a hole in his life that never felt right. and now theres something there, and it doesnt quite fit properly yet, but hes willing to just be happy its there at all.

fuyuhiko mentions reconnecting with peko, reconnecting with his sister. going to classes, exploring the city. he sends dumb selfies of him and his new puppy, and hajime sends pictures back of his daughter covered in paint from when they were painting the bathroom.

a few weeks in, chiaki asks if fuyuhiko should come over for dinner some time, maybe even to stay the night on their couch. like old times. hajime is reluctant, at first, memories of the last time that happened cropping up. but theyre older now, and fuyuhiko has responsibilities and ties, and he cant run anymore. neither can hajime. so he asks, and fuyuhiko says yes, and they plan for it to be a night where none of them have responsibilities in the morning so they can stay up after the kid’s gone to bed.

they do. dinner is wonderful, of course, and they watch a movie afterward to put their daughter to sleep, and once shes been moved to the bedroom, they break out the sake. fuyuhiko refrains, and hajime and chiaki dont drink much, just enough to loosen their tongues. the three of them talk, about the past, about when they were kids, about their families. about chiaki and hajimes transitions, about how they stayed together despite everything, though there were momentary break ups. fuyuhiko talks about his own journeys, about being caught in a spiral with the mob, about debts and violence and breaking out of it. he talks about how deeply in the closet he was for such a long time, how much it was tearing him apart. he talks about his parents, and his sister, how glad he is that she broke free from them after so long. he talks about boyfriends and one night stands and drunken mistakes.

chiaki tries to say something. tries to get them to talk properly. but hajime shuts it down, still unwilling to go too far.

when they turn in for the night, fuyuhiko on the couch, the two of them talk in bed before sleep. chiaki finally verbally says what shes been thinking for so long, that she thinks hajime loves fuyuhiko, has for a long time, maybe since they were kids. that she thinks he should give it a chance. theyre already two trans people, theyre already all queer, whats one more social transgression?

hajime is quiet. its something hes known, he thinks, for a while. just hasnt wanted to admit it. hasnt wanted to ruin what he has, what hes so meticulously built. hes just grateful fuyuhiko is here again, that hes alive and in hajimes life again for the first time in years. he doesnt want to, cant lose that. not again.

so he keeps it locked down. he says he cant, and he doesnt want to talk about it. chiaki, sadly, turns over, and flicks off the light.

in the morning, hajime gets up and finds the couch empty. for a moment, he panics, before realizing there are sounds coming from the kitchen, and when he enters, he finds fuyuhiko making breakfast. hes not doing a great job. hes not really much of a cook. but he wanted to pay them back for how kind and open theyve been, how accepting theyve been of him being back in their lives. he wants to show how grateful he is.

hajime just laughs, and says if he wants to do that, he can show it by letting hajime help so that breakfast doesnt burn. fuyuhiko cant really argue with that. they move around each other like its second nature, like theyve done it forever. like this is how its supposed to be.

when chiaki appears in the doorway, they dont see her at first. but she watches, and she smiles, and when they do notice her arrival, she slots into the dance easily. like there was always going to be space for her.

their daughter is sad that uncle hiko has to go home, but he promises he’ll be back. maybe he’ll even bring a present for her next time he comes over for dinner. that gets her excited. he looks up at hajime and winks, says maybe he’ll bring a present for him and chiaki too. it makes hajimes face feel warm, and he shoves the sappy thoughts away before they can get too strong.

for a while, they live in this limbo. fuyuhiko comes over for dinner, spends time with their daughter, watches movies and plays board games and rants about school with them. he and hajime text constantly when hes not around. his absence leeches into everything, now, far more openly than before, and even for chiaki. she finds herself missing him when she and her daughter watch a movie the girl loves for the millionth time, because the last time they watched it he was here. theres a cold spot on the couch where fuyuhiko should be sitting.

one day, hajime runs into peko, very suddenly. its been a long time since theyve seen each other, with her having her own life, and him being busy with work. they were never that close when they were young anyway. but he asks her to get coffee, spontaneously, and to his surprise she agrees. they talk, skirting around the elephant in the room for a while, but eventually it becomes impossible not to talk about fuyuhiko. peko is happy to hear hes been coming over so much, mentions that she and him have remained in contact as well, though not the extent hes maintained contact with the nanamis. they mostly talk about school, if shes honest.

she admits, quietly, that she used to love him. that part of her probably always will. but shes happy with her girlfriend, and glad that she has him as a friend at the very least. and she thinks hes happier with hajime anyway.

hajime stammers that theyre not, like, together, hes not with fuyuhiko, not like, well, like that. peko just tilts her head and gives him a knowing look, takes a sip of her coffee. says something about chiaki being reasonable, about how it hardly matters. says that the people who really matter wont care.

it lingers in hajimes head for a long time. eventually, he cant stand it, and he sits down with chiaki to have a long talk about this, about how he loves her so much and he doesnt want to leave her, that he cant, but that at the same time, he does love fuyuhiko. he can admit that, finally. he wants to be able to hold fuyuhiko, to kiss him, to be close with him and feel that warmth between them. and all chiaki does is smile, agree that he deserves that, that she wants fuyuhiko in their lives too. that he doesnt have to leave her to be with fuyuhiko. that she wants this for both of them.

hajime plans meticulously. something nice, maybe even fancy, but not too over the top. fuyuhiko likes subtlety, likes class. doesnt like too much attention on something like this. they decide to wait until their daughters class trip, so she’ll be out of the house for a few days, chiaki with her as a chaperone. itll just be the two men.

fuyuhiko is surprised by the invitation, but he doesnt say no. hes nervous, obviously. he doesnt know what hajime does, is scared if taking things too far. hes loved hajime for years, has known for years, and he doesnt want to fuck this up like he did when they were in their 20s. when he was far more hurt and far more scared and far more reckless. hes come to terms with the fact that hes never gonna have more, that he missed out, didnt manage to get the guy, and is happy enough to just have hajime in his life like he does.

they go out to dinner, just the two of them. hajime mentions at least twice that chiaki helped him plan this whole thing, trying to get across her approval. hes not sure it works, and fuyuhiko seems generally bewildered by the heavier atmosphere, confused by hajimes insistence on paying, and how hajime asks him to get in the car but wont tell him where theyre going.

their daughters class trip is for a festival, to see the bigger celebrations in the city. but there are still smaller ones here, in their hometown, and when hajime parks the car on a hill and gets out, and fuyuhiko looks down on the lights of the festival and the garlands and moving rivers of people down below, hes not confused anymore.

okay, maybe thats a lie. he is still confused. but he knows sort of why theyre here.

they sit and watch the lights, watch the sun go down and the stars twinkle into existence. they talk, mostly about nothing, about life, about school and work. they eat karinto, because hajime knows its fuyuhikos favorite, and they make jokes at each others expense and laugh and get close. and then theres a lull in the conversation.

hajime quietly asks if he can try something. asks fuyuhiko not to freak out when he does. as confused and scared as that makes him, fuyuhiko agrees.

and hajime kisses him.

theyre not drunk this time. they dont have that excuse. fuyuhiko is frozen, unsure how to respond, if he should, if hes allowed. when his voice comes back, he croaks something about chiaki. hajime reminds him that she helped plan this whole thing. “even this?” “…well, maybe not down to the exact details. but kissing you was the end goal, so… yeah. even this.”

fuyuhiko cant barely believe whats happening, can barely breathe. hajime murmurs something about needing him, about the hole in his life that had been there so long it had turned to normalcy. how fuyuhikos return had upended that normalcy, had made that hole in his chest ache like crazy because finally something was here that could fill it. how hed denied himself even the ability to consider it because he was afraid of taking that leap.

he says how funny it is, that after all this time, theyre both still running away.

fuyuhiko sets his jaw, cups hajimes face in his hands, and kisses him back.

they stay for a while, on that hill, with the distant sounds of the festival and their sweets forgotten between them. trading kisses and soft touches, hardly any words. its hard not to just get lost in it, this feeling of completion, of two pieces that never quite fit right finally finding the angle that makes them match. hajime insists that chiaki supports this, that when she comes home fuyuhiko can ask her. that she’ll be thrilled. that their daughter will be confused, sure, but ultimately fine. she’ll come to understand as she gets older. it’ll be hard, and weird, and they wont always get to be open about it.

but he doesnt care. he just wants to lie here, pressing his lips to fuyuhikos, and running his hands over the mans skin like its all hes ever wanted in his life.

eventually, they have to leave. its chilly, and theyre both tired and full of both food and warmth. on the drive back, hajimes hand lingers on fuyuhikos thigh, warm and heavy. at some point, fuyuhiko takes it in his own, brings it to his lips and kisses the knuckles. he flushes when he does, and all hajime does is smile and stroke his cheek.

chiaki is, as we already know, supportive. she insists that she knows hajime loves them both, that shes confident in their relationship, and that she cares about fuyuhiko too. they tell their daughter that if she sees daddy kissing uncle hiko, its perfectly okay, and mommy knows and is happy for them. she gets it, eventually. kids are smart, and a lot more accepting of things that people give them credit for.

fuyuhiko still stays in school, aiming for his degree. he still has his apartment in the city. but he comes over as often as he can, for family nights, for dates with hajime, for late nights with the married couple talking about adult things. for babysitting their daughter. uncle hiko becomes one of her favorite people, because hes just a little bit too indulgent, and will let her get away with stuff her parents never would. neither of them mind too much. they love watching him interact with their daughter, love that hes in her life. that hes in their lives.

thats all they can ask for.

[itwasthereaminuteago]

|| Engagement ||

Matt Murdock x gn reader

Tags/warnings: mild angst, mild smut, meta, sorry not sorry I had to!!! 😂

As always, I adore and appreciate any comments, reblogs, etc and I'm extremely thankful to you for reading my fics!

~

Matt's arms tighten around you as you lie snuggled up together in bed. He can pick up on your disconnected mood from your elevated heart rate and the way he hears your breathing change every time you think about saying something and then stop yourself.

"You know you can talk to me, if something's wrong." He says quietly.

You take a deep inhale, sighing it out as you nuzzle into his t-shirt at his shoulder. "I know," you reply, choosing to ignore the invitation to unload.

He pushes a little harder in response. "Sweetie, you've been off for a while now, you think I hadn't noticed?"

"Urgh. It's stupid."

He turns his head to kiss you on the top of your head, giving you another squeeze. "I'm sure it's not, and talking about might help? If you want."

You huff out another sigh. "I dunno, I've kind of talked it over with others but it doesn't seem to make any difference. I'm not sure it's something I can fix."

Concern washes over Matt's features. "Is– is it something I've done? Or not done?" He gently takes your face in his hands. "Sweetheart, you'd tell me if it was me wouldn't you? I'd want you to."

You smile, bringing your hand up to stroke through his soft, messy hair. "Of course I would, and no it's nothing you've done, so don't fret."

The worry melts from his brow. "Alright, but c'mon, try me. I'm sure we can do something about whatever it is that's got you down."

"Well… it's work related. I'm not getting anywhere near as much feedback on my stuff as I used to. You know how in the creative sector we kinda thrive on others sharing our work to bring it to the attention of others? I've been feeling for a while now that the sense of community that we had has just sort of disappeared. People don't seem to want to interact that much with what we make."

Matt groans. "Baby, is this about the lack of reblogs on Tumblr again? "

You can't help frowning. "It is." You admit.

He smiles and rolls over to cage you underneath him. "I could make you forget about it, for a while at least?"

"Matty!" You push him off with a frustrated sigh. "Are you honestly trying to distract me with sex? You know how important this is to me."

"I know, I'm sorry. I don't mean to trivialise the issue, I just thought I could take your mind off it, maybe make you feel better."

"So kind and selfless of you…" you smirk as he starts to kiss along the column of your neck.

"I try." He smiles. "Anyway, you were saying? And I'm gonna keep kissing you."

"Fine. Okay, so I know that I should create for myself and not for other people…"

"But it's nice to get some recognition, right?" You nod as Matt holds himself over you again continuing to make his way down your neck towards your collarbones.

"Right. I really do appreciate the likes, but if people are just 'liking' my work without sharing it, that means it just ends up dead in the water. No-one else really gets the chance to enjoy it."

"Any idea why they are not sharing?" Matt asks, lightly stroking your side.

"I dunno, maybe they're not familiar with how the site works, that it doesn't have an algorithm? Maybe they're embarrassed to let other people see what they're looking at? Especially if it's something a bit risqué."

Matt hums. "Yeah but didn't you tell me before that they could just create a sideblog that's not associated with their main account, and reblog things they like using that and no one would be any wiser?'

"Exactly! And anyway, it's not like everyone doesn't enjoy looking at and reading porn…"

Matt lifts his head up, a slight sly smile pulling up the corner of his mouth. "Mm true. So what else are you sad about?"

You sigh again. You can't seem to stop yourself.

"Well, people aren't commenting on works either. There's rarely any discussion, I mean even just a manic keyboard smash would be amazing for an artist to see in their notifications, but there's barely even that anymore. Commenting on a stranger's fan works is so much fun, it can really bring people together!"

"That's how a great community grows isn't it?" Matt asks you.

"Yep, and you end up making so many friends you would never have thought. I miss that aspect of it a lot."

Matt's swiftly moving down to lavish attention over your chest, and you momentarily lose your train of thought as his lips brush over your nipple. "And have you brought people's attention to this problem?"

"Of course! Many other creators have explained why reblogs and sharing are so important in eloquently written PSAs, but I guess that the target audience must not see them because they're perhaps only looking at the stories and fanart from tags and they maybe don't see the other dashboard posts. I dunno."

Matt starts to lick an achingly slow intimate path down your stomach and you feel heat spreading throughout your body, your heart rate now elevated for quite a different reason. Then suddenly, he stops.

"Have you thought about maybe incorporating the message into one of your creations? Maybe that might reach the intended audience better."

You close your eyes as you consider the idea. He shifts further down the bed and you allow him to spread your thighs apart and slot his shoulders inbetween.

"Mm, well… that's- actually that's a good idea. I mean, it can't hurt to try, can it? You're the devil on my shoulder Matty."

"Exactly. But leave it till tomorrow sweetheart. Right now this devil wants to make you feel good."

You bite down on your lip as he flashes you a smoldering look before ducking down to make good on his promise.

[greenhikingboots]

Jon’s Pre-Canon Crush

Okay, Jonsa fam. I’ve seen a lot of great posts, especially in the last few months, about Jon’s reactions to Val. Among them, there’s one particular vein I like to assume everyone loves as much as I do. That is, when Jon thinks of Val’s hair as silver vs. when he thinks of it as the color of dark honey. You’ve seen those metas, right? They explain the likelihood of Jon’s future connection to Dany being negative — The air tastes cold. / My tongue is too numb to tell. All I taste is cold. — while his future connection to Sansa will be positive — It had been a long while since Jon Snow had seen a sight so lovely.

Well, in this post I want to expand on the angle of Val-is-sometimes-a-stand-in-for-Sansa. Only, I don’t want to speculate on what will happen between Jon and Sansa in the future, if we ever get GRRM’s last two books. Enough people have already done that, and they’ve done it so wonderfully that I have little to add. Instead, as the title of this post says, I want to focus on Jon’s pre-canon crush. More specifically: I want to focus on what Jon’s thoughts and feelings about Val say about his thoughts and feelings about Sansa.

But let me lay some groundwork first, okay? Until a few weeks ago, I went back and forth on pre-canon crush theories. I agreed they held a lot of potential and were a lot of fun to daydream about — a great premise for a one-shot, to be sure! Oh, and I’ve always loved it when people said things like, “Hey, Jon, your Targaryen is showing.” That’s classic stuff. But did I really think GRRM meant to hint at prior feelings rather than just laying a foundation for future feelings? Again, until a few weeks ago, I wasn’t totally convinced either way. But now I am fully committed to the Pre-Canon Crush Camp, assigned to cabin Jon-Had-Feelings-for-Sansa. [Did Sansa have feelings for Jon too? Ummm maybe? I think there’s some evidence to support that, but not as much. But, hey, that’s not the point of this post. Sorry. Moving on.] So what changed? Well, basically some ideas I’d previously had sunk in on a deeper level. It started with this post from @sherlokiness. It talks about GRRM commenting on a discrepancy in the books, two occasions where Jeyne Westerling’s physical descriptions do not match up. GRRM said the discrepancies were a mistake, a really unfortunate one because it distracts from the times when he intentionally included discrepancies of physical appearances. And basically us Jonsas loved it. Like, “Yep! Make sense! We assumed as much already, Mr. Martin.” And that’s because of the canon line mentioned earlier, right? You know the whole thing, don’t you? Oh, but you want me to quote it here anyway? Okay, fine, I’ll oblige.

They [Ghost and Val] look as though they belong together. Val was clad all in white [bleh, bleh, bleh] …but her eyes were blue, her long braid the color of dark honey, her cheeks flushed red from the cold. It had been a long while since Jon Snow had seen a sight so lovely.

Direwolf. Lots of white. Suspicious ellipses. Blue eyes. Long braid the color of dark honey. Right, okay, got it.  [BTW. Did you know there’s also a point, early on, where Val’s described as having high cheekbones? You know, a feature Sansa has as well!?!?] Anyway, when I saw sherlokiness’s post about GRRM’s comments and the Jonsas relating it to that canon scene with Ghost and Val, I reblogged it. Naturally. And in the tags I said something like, “I’ll have to double check but I’m pretty sure the willowy creature line comes after this line. As in, maybe Jon knew exactly who Val reminded him in that moment and he was trying to talk himself out of his pre-canon crush coming back to the surface.” I’m paraphrasing here. My tags were probably not as clear as that. Also, I was being a bit facetious. It was a thought I’d had before, but just a passing one. Again (AGAIN! Do I say that too much?), I’d been going back and forth about pre-canon crush theories for a long time. But @agentrouka-blog saw my tags and was like, “You might be onto something there.” And then @zimshan saw my tags too and did the double check for me. Thanks! And guess what? GUESS WHAT, JONSA FAM!? I was right about the order. First, Jon sees Ghost and Val, thinks her eyes are blue and her hair is like dark honey, and it is a lovely sight. Second, this line:

Val looked the part [of a princess] and rode as if she had been born on horseback. A warrior princess, he decided, not some willowy creature who sits up in a tower, brushing her hair and waiting for some knight to rescue her.

But guess what else? The order isn’t even the most striking thing. The most striking thing is how closely these two lines appear to one another — within just a few pages!!! That's what zimshan said. So I went back to read it myself. Not just the two lines to check the order, but a little before, and a little after, and everything in between. If you want, you can do the same. It’s ADWD Jon XI.

Want to know what stuck out to me most? The willowy creature line actually seems… so odd, and out of place, and unnecessary. I swear to you. Let me try to explain.

Basically, by that point in the chapter, Jon has already clearly established his take on Val. She’s beautiful, everyone knows it, but she’s more than that. She’s strong and capable. She found Tormund and brought him back to Castle Black when Jon’s Night’s Watch Rangers couldn’t manage it. Like, Jon’s thankful for Val, okay? 

Oh, and he also seems aware that he holds her in higher regard than the rest of the men who keep calling her a princess even though she’s not one. I think he feels smug about it, to be honest. Like, he wouldn’t use these words because it’s ASOIAF, but he knows he’s a budding feminist and he’s proud of himself for it. Like, “I’m so much better than these asshats who don’t respect women and think all Val has to offer is her pretty face.”

How great is that? I love book Jon so much.

Where was I, though? Oh! Oh, oh, oh! This next part is key. Up until the willowy creature line, Jon has not had a single disparaging thought about Val. Val being cruel about Shireen’s greyscale hasn’t happened yet. But for some reason — *Getting too executed. Brain malfunctioning!*

AH! I SWEAR JONSA FAM! If you read the willowy creature in fuller context, it comes across as if Jon’s correcting himself for having a disparaging thought about Val, like he’s reminding himself of who she truly is. She’s a warrior princess, not a willowy creature. But like, why? Why does Jon feel the need to do this? He hasn’t had a disparaging thought about Val, so why correct himself as if he has?

Just because she’s beautiful? Just because he’s tired of other men calling her a princess? I mean, I guess that could be the whole story. That’s certainly how we’re supposed to take it, if we’re taking it at face value. But I’m not convinced. Go read it again, and I think you’ll see that when the willowy creature line happens, it actually feels like a weird logic leap.

The dots aren’t connecting because one dot is missing!!!! Let me put a pin in that for a moment while I turn to other mini metas in our Jonsa fandom. Antis like to say, “Jon doesn’t like girls like Sansa. He doesn't like willowy creatures, he said so himself.” But we know that’s crap, right? The boy who liked Ygritte’s gentle side? The boy who helps Alys Karstark by marrying her to Sigorn? The boy who dreamed his mother was a highborn lady with kind eyes? The boy who wanted to show his hypothetical wife Winterfell’s glass gardens and bath with her in the hot pools?

Yeah, that boy is a budding feminist, like I said.

So again I ask (AGAIN!) why would Jon — who is not especially critical of women in general and has not been critical of Val at all up to this point — feel the need to correct himself by thinking this critical thing about willowy creatures? In other words, why does he lift up Val by putting down some vague idea of other women he’s never had a problem with before?

Well, obviously it turns out that I believe my facetious, tongue in cheek tags more than I realized when I wrote them. My position is that somewhere in the two pages between ...a long while since Jon had seen a sight so lovely… and ...not some willowy creature who sits up in a tower, brushing her hair… Jon realized Val reminded him of Sansa, he felt guilty and ashamed about it, and then felt the need to do damage control. And because guilt and shame are icky, confusing feelings, his damage control took the form of being critical of Sansa even though he isn’t normally critical of such women. 

Am I making sense? How do I explain myself further? Like, why am I so stuck on this idea Jon’s willowy creature line being two pages after the Ghost and Val looking lovely together line must mean Jon had a pre-canon crush?

I think the crux is what I said about the willowy creature line feeling like a weird logic leap — like the dots aren’t connecting because one is missing. The missing dot is Jon being aware that he’s mentally swapped Val with Sansa. He just doesn’t acknowledge this on the page.

Let me be extra clear. I’m now differing from several others who have written about pre-canon crush theories in that I think Jon was aware of his crush. I’ve seen many say it’s all subconscious. But this stuff with Val makes me think otherwise.

I mean, I know Jon has a pattern of dissociation. For him, thinking, and speaking, and acting from his subconsciousness is a common occurrence. So, yes, he could have subconsciously thought Val looked like Sansa and subconsciously felt guilty and ashamed and therefore subconsciously decided to do damage control by subconsciously reminding himself Val is a warrior princess and therefore not a willowy creature.

But I think GRRM was hinting at an exception to Jon’s pattern with these canon lines. Because if the first part is happening subconsciously — Jon thinking Val looks like Sansa and that it’s a lovely sight — then he wouldn’t feel the need to do damage control afterwards? If he wasn’t aware of thinking of Sansa in that moment, isn’t it more likely he’d just carry on with taking Val to meet Selyse, and the odd, out of place, unnecessary line about a willowy creature wouldn’t have been included? What else, what else?

I said earlier that I think Jon’s crush is an innocent, not sexual thing. Let me expand on that. And uuuuuhhhhh... let me clarify that I think that might be changing some over time.  My guess is when Jon was younger, his thoughts were more along these lines: “Sansa is pretty, and a proper lady, and everything men are taught to want. She’ll be a good wife for someone someday. Obviously not me. That’s sinful, I don’t want it, and I’m a bastard so I can’t marry a highborn lady anyway. But objectively, Sansa’s a good catch.” Which kinda matches how Jon thinks of Val at times, right? Like, she’s a catch but he doesn’t want her. He’s not taking Winterfell and a Wife because Winterfell belongs to Sansa and he’s a man of the Night’s Watch, dammit! But hang on a second. Sometimes Jon’s thoughts about Val are more elicit, aren’t they? He thinks about the size of her breasts and she’s the hypothetical wife he pictures romancing in Winterfell. Don’t worry, I’m not saying I’m secretly a Jon/Val shipper. What I’m getting at is this other thing we’ve talked about in the Jonsa fandom. Jone projects his general desires onto Val. He’s getting older. He’s unhappy at the Wall. Winterfell isn’t Robb’s like he thought it would be, and Bran and Rickon are thought to be dead. And Stannis is offering Winterfell and Val to him. Plus he’s now been intimate with a woman, Ygritte. So he knows that sex feels nice. All in all, Jon’s becoming more in tune with wanting Winterfell, and a wife, and a family, and wanting to fu—

You get the idea. ;)

Soooooo. If you buy into the premise that A) Jon considered Sansa a good catch when they were younger B) He’s thinking more and more about romance and sex C) Val is also a good catch and easy to project feelings onto and D) Woopsies, Val just reminded me of Sansa! Well, then where does all that leave Jon? Feeling like he needs to distance himself from positive thoughts about Sansa, right? But without ever thinking her name because of his pattern of dissociation and because GRRM is tricky like that.  Am I making my point clearer, or just talking in circles?  Like, I know plenty of people have already said Val is a switch-back-and-forth-stand-in-for-other-characters. The first two short paragraphs of this post mentions those metas.  But holy smokes! If Jon is aware of A-D mentioned above, that adds a fascinating layer of subtext to his scenes with and thoughts about Val.  Let’s talk about it forever!

Just kidding. I think I’m almost done here.  Basically, I think the willowy creature line is Jon knowingly saying to himself, “Yikes, the thoughts I had about Sansa in the past didn’t bother me much because they were 99% innocent. But they are less innocent now and that’s a problem! You can’t like Sansa! Don’t confuse Sansa with Val,  dummy! Val is a warrior princess! Sansa is a willowy creature and willowy creatures are bad!”

Okay, sure, Jon.  Let me wrap up with one more canon line.

Of Sansa brushing out Lady’s coat and singing to herself. You know nothing, Jon Snow.

We often link this line to Ygritte for obvious reasons, but I’m now in the habit of linking it more to Val and the canon lines mentioned previously. I think GRRM wrote a the three lines — a sight so lovely + willow creature + of Sansa brushing out Lady’s coat — as a subtle continuation of one another. Us Jonsas saw the potential for underlying romantic feelings in the last one, that’s nothing new. But I want to add that it’s a direct contrast to the willowy creature line. As Jon is bleeding out, he can no longer be bothered to put up a front and pretend he doesn’t have feelings for Sansa, feelings that have gotten more complicated as of late.

Oh so subtle. Really not that much different than what others have said before me. But different enough I wanted to mention it. Now someone put it in a fanfic!!

[stagefoureddiediaz]

Costume Meta 6x15

At first I thought this was going to be an ok length meta this week, having already written two mini metas based on bts pictures and then we didn’t get the download for a million hours and then just to add to the fun - Tumblr decided that I wasn’t allowed to type into a post wehre i’d added photos and then loading photos into a post wasn’t an option so this is the 4th version of this post I’ve had to create but I got there in the end, so I’m sorry its so much later that i would’ve like it to be - I just hope my insane ramblings are worth the wait!

There weren’t actually that many costumes this week but the guest cast had very interesting costumes and there are a million things going on with Buck, Eddie and Christopher so this week’s meta is very heavily skewed towards them! 

No Hen this week as she’s only seen in uniform - there was also very little Bobby - just the one costume!

Bobby

Bobby in navy blue actually doesn’t mean much this week - the choice of colour for his shirt is purely there to continue to parallel Bathena and Buddie from the last couple of episodes with the Burgundy and blue we’ve seen. Thank you as always for reading  - it really does mean the world to me that you're interested in the costuming of our wee woo show and I love reading your thoughts in the tags and notes!!! I’ll shut up now and let you have your lives back.

Athena

Burgundy ribbed top - stylistically it is in keeping with the other tops we’ve seen her wearing this season. Burgundy isn’t a colour we see on her very often (the last time was in 5x10 at the christmas party and there are only two previous costumes before that), so there was definitely intention to keep the burgundy and blue theme running into this weeks episode. The ribbing is disjointed on this top over the left shoulder, it hints at the idea of Athena not being comfortable with Dominic dying in the back of her police car - its that feeling of something lurking over your shoulder.

The other interesting thing it’s the return of the anchor necklace. We haven’t seen Athena in this necklace since 5x07. This necklace was very heavily connected to family and the idea of family anchoring her and giving her stability while she was in uncertain waters. It was a play on the idea that even when things were turbulent (Michael coming out, the divorce, Jeffery Hudson etc) her family was and is her anchor. The interesting thing about its reappearance here is that we don’t see her with any family aside from Bobby - for a necklace that has been so heavily tied to her extended family their absence in its presence is telling. It could mean some foreshadowing of choppy waters ahead (perhaps to do with Bobby in the finale) alongside her disquiet over this incident.

The leather leather jacket is the same one as we saw her wearing in 6x12 and I spoke in the 6x12 meta how it was very similar to the one we see Athena wear when investigating Eddies shooting and how it, along with Tamara wearing an echo of Bucks outfit in that episode. We have a similar parallel happening in this episode with Christopher’s jumper at Shannon’s grave. To have it reappearing for this scene specifically is telling me to link the scenes - ergo link to the shooting. 

For me that link surrounds the idea of mistaken or hidden identities because all three investigations include an element of this theme. The shooting - Ethan covers his tracks so that the police go for his ex partner and we see Athena hiding her identity by dressing as a firefighter to go to Bobbys rescue. In 6x12 Athena and May go undercover (with hidden identities) to try and find out what happened to Wendell, Wendell himself hides his identity to try and help Tamara and the Walshes tried to hide his identity when they set his body on fire. And now we have a case where Dominic tries to escape conviction through a body switch and hiding his identity. I haven’t quite pieced together what exactly this is saying about Bobby and Athena’s overall arc, but there is clearly something at play here.

Chimney

Chim is paralleling Bobby in the dark blue this episode. The Navy shirt help establish the red/blue theme for Madney in the same way Bobby’s polo does for Bathena. It is designed to do the same thing it does for Bobby - shift focus away from him and onto the one in the brighter colour. It is telling us that Maddie is the one we should be focusing on in the scene rather than Chimney and I’ll explain a bit more of that when we get to Maddies section.

The check shirt Chim wears to the IRS appointment clearly fits into check theory very nicely - not only in terms of the appointment itself, but it is part of a bigger piece of foreshadowing for Chimney more generally which appears to be connected to his family because we have seen him in a lot of check pattern this season and it feels like they’re building the tension with it - it is clearly leading to whatever happens to hi in the finale. 

This shirt is the same one he wears when he finds Maddie giving Jee-Yun a bath after they all return home from Boston. and because of this it feels like there is something specific connected to this shirt around the idea of finding happiness in the place you’re in - not needing more in the moment than what you have - not pushing for more. 

But there is also something connected to the idea of communication - that happiness is found when you communicate with your partner - the moment with Jee in the bath could only happen because Chimney and Maddie communicated which enabled her to return home and start rebuilding her family. The moment at the IRS was a clear indication of Madney not talking in advance, but ultimately coming out of the meeting in a better place - having communicated and reached a mutually happy decision. To me at least this speaks a lot about the marriage arc they are setting up for Madney - that we’re seeing them fail to communicate again, but they will eventually communicate and end up in the right place for them and will find happiness as a result.

Maddie

Maddie’s bright red top pulls our attention - it is far far brighter than Chimneys navy blue shirt and that is intentional - it is mean to make us think of a red flag and highlight to us that Maddie is where our focus should be for this episode. It is signposting us to the fact that in their relationship Maddie is the one who will ahve had dealing s with the IRS before when it comes to being in a relationship - Chimney won’t have had to do it as we’ve never seen him in this type of relationship. Maddie however would’ve had to file jointly when Married to Doug, so her having hangups about the fact the IRS have got in touch probably goes deeper than it just being the IRS getting in touch. It all connects into the theme of their arc for the episode. 

It is also important to note the difference in shades of red and blue that Madney are wearing - especially in relation to Bathena. Bathena’s are much closer together in terms of brightness and contrast. Athenas is slightly brighter becasue she is the focus, but it is closer to Bobby than Maddie and Chimneys are. This is a deliberate choice - it highlights the fact that Bathena are essentially on the same page - they are at the same level and in sync. Madney however are not in sync, they are in different places and we see that play out as the episode airs and we see Chimney searching for a ring at the end of the episode - back in his navy blue tee - we should note however that while he is doing that, Maddie is in her uniform - the maroon of her shirt bringing her closer into line with Chimney, but her uniform still provides a barrier - a safety net for her - in much the same way I described her scene with Buck in 6x12 when she is loading up his fridge.

Ok the check blazer is all kinds of fascinating to me. the three different types of tweed check, the denim jacket placket making it look like a jacket over a denim jacket, the fact that Maddie is wearing a jacket - in complete opposition to Chimney who is in just a shirt. 

There is something about Maddie wearing yet another jacket that is multi layered. This one looks like a blazer with a denim jacket underneath. This has been a recurring theme for her the season where we’ve seen her wearing blazers with false insert hoodies. We only really see her in these outside of her home environment, and there is something in that which suggests Maddie is feeling insecure in someway whilst outside the comfort of her home. 

The false fronts suggest that Maddy is putting up some sort of front as a way of protection outside of the home, that she is hiding here self from the outside world in some way - projecting something false. The general idea of layering is also about protection too so it’s a multilayered (forgive the pun) theme I haven’t figured out exactly what this means yet, but I think the fact that the season is culminating in an engagement arc for Madney suggests to me that her insecurities lie, perhaps, in how she feels the world views her as an unmarried mother and her trauma surrounding that - the wider arc of her PPD is still in play here because her own trauma extends beyond the PPD itself. Maddie is still battling demons in relation to Daniel as well as the demons we know she struggles with in relation to her previous marriage and the trauma she suffered at the hands of Doug

There is something about the idea of her going out into the world fully suited up to defend the fact she isn’t married to Chim, to defend the choices she has made to protect herself and to allow her to continue to heal and her fears that society will judge her for those choices -something that the IRS has (in her mind) proven to be correct. 

So you know how we’ve talked about the blue green theming being connected to break ups - Eddie and Ana, Buck and Taylor, well I don’t want to alarm anyone but we saw Madney in the same blue and green colour way!! 

I actually don’t think this is going to be about a break up - I think its more connected to a couple of other times we’ve seen these especially dark yet bright shades of  green and blue - the scene in 5x09 (with the pink washing up gloves) as well as the scene when Buck tells Taylor about kissing Lucy - and those two scenes connect to the keeping of secrets and the revealing of secrets, the trying to keep things hidden but them ultimately coming out anyway. It is one of the themes of the episode - keeping secrets, and misunderstanding things and struggling with the reality of moving on and forward. We also saw a similar theme at play when Maddie wore that shirt in the 6x13 - her ‘neighbour’ was hiding their identity. So fear not all the Madney shippers, we’re all good - they just need to communicate and sort through a few things - for Maddie it is very much her hang ups about getting married again - she needs to move on from this last piece of Doug’s hold over her and her life and those shirts are helping with that. 

Dominic

Dominic was wearing a very similar jacket to Eddies jacket from 5x10  and 6x08. it is not the same jacket, but it is close enough to draw the parallel.

Ok this is a bit hard to explain, but go with me. At first I thought the wardrobe department were just reusing a costume, however some dots have connected and I think there is a larger metaphor at play here. We have to remember that Athena is wearing a jacket that closely resembles the one she wore to investigate the shooting and that the theme of mistaken identities is at play in both storylines as well.

In 5x10 Eddie is talking to Carla about Christophers obsession over having a perfect Christmas then Chris wakes up from a nightmare about his mother. 

The second time we see the jacket, in 6x08, it is as Eddie watches Chris make his way into his school dance and talks about being different and fantasy becoming reality. 

 It’s therefore an interesting choice to have a very similar jacket on a guest character who is trying to hide, to hide his identity and hide the money he embezzled from an organisation with dream in its name all of this is telling me to connect his plot to Eddies. 

So if we look at Dominics storyline things make further sense in relation to what happens in this episode for Eddie. We have to place Eddie as Dominic, Natalia as the second body (whose name we eventually find out is Seth Davis, but not much more) and Buck as the coroner.

We get told a couple of useful things by the coroner (side note what is it with coroners in US tv programes contaminating their morgues by eating their lunch in them?!!!!) 

‘looking at a body doesn’t tell us much. Our answers are usually found under the skin.’ 

It is a pointed line and is the one that helps us to place Buck in the role of coroner - when he is at Maries grave with Eddie he talks about playing a role for everyone else, but he also talks about Natalia seeing him better than he sees himself. Buck hasn’t actually looked deeply at himself (because Buck is scared to - he is so very traumatised) but the coroners job is to look more deeply at others - to look below the surface of the skin and see what has happened, what is going on.  

Obviously in this case there are answers that can be found on the surface here - that it is the wrong person - the wrong body. The right body was there initially then it got swapped when no one was looking. So the body is labelled as the Dominic and the coroner has no reason to question the information they have (ergo Buck has no reason to question things about Natalia)it is only by twist of fate that the swap is discovered - you don’t have to look beyond the surface for the answers. Second time around it is definitely the right body because it is Dominic (who interestingly enough dies of a heart attack after taking too much of a medication designed to lower blood pressure - heart metaphor anyone?!) and the answers will only be found below the surface. Autopsies will be carried out on both bodies and in both cases it is likely that answers will be found - the cause of the Heart attack for Dominic and whatever it was that killed Seth Davis. This suggests to me that we will see Buck (the coroner) find his answers  that he’ll see into Eddies heart in some way at some point and also see whatever it is he needs to see below the surface in Natalia as well, but it won’t give him the answers he seeks (if they gave us the outcomes of the two autopsies - which we won’t get but thats fine - I would put money on cause of death being  completely unconnected with the heart)

Kelly - the speaker at Marie’s living funeral

I wouldn’t normally include a character like Kelly in my costume meta but there is something interesting happening with chains being increasingly connected to Buck through his girlfirends in some way so Kelly gets a look in. This is going to sound a bit off the wall but I promise it makes sense!!!

To start with I need to point out that there were several references to Charles Dickens in this episode. Kelly was giving  a speech about advice she had received from her Aunt and as soon as I saw the blouse she was wearing my brain connected dots to A Christmas Carol. This ties in so perfectly with the Victorian concept of a good death - which ties into Natalia as well. The chains connect to the ghost of Jacob Marley, who comes to warn Scrooge of what awaits him if he continues his current path. 

So as I mentioned - Scrooge, a miser who is set in his ways is visited by the ghost of his partner - Jacob Marley. Marley appears in chains - the chains of his fate - basically he created these through his own poor choices and stinginess.

Marley tells Scrooge he can avoid the same fate if he changes his ways while he’s still on earth and that 3 ghosts will visit him. This concept - the idea of being visited in some way by someone dead who was connected to you in real life and them giving you advice connects into Buck through Bobby in Bucks coma dream - we have a Bobby chained to the things he was addicted to in life; the pills and alcohol - but a Bobby who gives Buck a vital piece of advice (which is also heavily connected into his current arc) 

‘If what matters to you most is how other people see you, then you haven’t learned a damn thing.’

This sets Bobby up as the Marley character. Scrooge is then visited by the three ghosts in turn who show him his past, things that are happening in the present and the what could be the future if he continues is path. If Buck is Scrooge then his arc is going to involve him ‘being visited by’ three ‘ghost’s to show him the way. 

We have some bts (thanks @911bts for all your hard work) that suggests we may be seeing Taylor Kelly make a reappearance (side note choosing to call Maries niece Kelly will be a very nice touch if this plays out!) and she would be the ghost of Christmas past for Buck - showing him in some way aspects of his past that have led him to where he is now. 

I haven’t figured out who the ghost of Christmas present is although I wonder if it could perhaps be Lucy?! This would make Natalia the ghost of Christmas yet to come.  In the novel the ghost of Christmas yet to come is the ghost that most closely resembles the traditional image of death (but isn’t death) this is the ghost that convinces Scrooge to change his ways and to learn.

Obviously Scrooge does change his ways and we see him become someone who treats everyone with kindness, generosity and compassion, the embodiment of the spirit of Christmas.

But the concept of chains binding you to your past - to who you were and the mistakes you made etc is an interesting one in relation to Buck - the idea that death doesn’t free you from them and that second chances should be taken - but only if you learn the errors of your past mistakes - it all feels like it applies too well to where Buck is at and when we add the additional layer of Eddie and Christopher who fit into the roles of Bob Cratchit (who Scrooge helps and supports after his visitations) and Tiny Tim (a child who is disabled and whom Bob is devoted to). Dickens describes Scrooge as becoming like a second father to Tiny Tim at the end of the novel and we have been watching Buck become a second father to Christopher.

I leave you to decide whether or not I’ve completely lost my marbles!!!

Natalia

The handkerchief does in fact have blue roses on it. I wrote in the mini meta before the episode aired; roses in general terms mean love - red for romantic, yellow for friendship etc. Blue roses mean unattainable love (because they do not occur naturally - only through artificial means) - so that would suggest that both love is unattainable for both Natalia and Buck but also that any feelings etc are not real - they can only be achieved through synthetic or artificial means - suggesting that any attempt at a relationship is going to be forced. Blue roses can also mean (especially the lighter shades of blue) emotions - specifically the finding of hope peace and tranquility. So with all of this in mind we end up with the concept of Buck finding what he’s looking for and that Natalia will help him get there, but that it isn't love, its the peace, tranquility and happiness that he's been seeking for himself.

The black velvet blazer and black matt dress has a Victorian mourning dress vibe. This is playing into her role as a death doula - the Victorians were obsessed with the idea of a ‘good death.’ This idea stemmed from evangelical beliefs around being with family and making peace with God. In the Victorian period death was a very common occurrence and so having a ‘good’ relationship with it and being in close proximity to the dying was actively encouraged. A good death was considered to be a slow death which gave people time to say goodbye and for the dying person to see all of their family and friends through that process.

Once the person had died mourning was commenced and this too had strict rules. clothing was to be matt plain and black - bombazine, velvet and cottons were the most commonly worn fabrics (depending on wealth and status). Matt fabrics were preferred because they didn’t reflect the light - it represented the depth of the soul and the depth of grief. 

Dressing Natalia in an outfit which mimics Victorian mourning is playing into that concept - it is a physical representation of her job and more than likely her personality as well - she will very literally be all about death all the time in some way.

I stand by what I said in the mini meta I wrote when we got the sneak peeks, but I want to talk about the necklace choice again in light of the fact that it was, once again, buck being pursued (whilst at work) rather than doing the pursuing. the choice to use this necklace to connect Natalia to Taylor, to Veronica and to Ana is a very clear choice. I’m going to write a meta that focus’s on the necklaces we see the various girlfriends wearing, because there are some interesting things going on with them. But the fact remains that the necklace also contributes to telling us that Natalia is headed the same way as all of the others - that she won’t be his endgame romance. She is a representation of death and this necklace is playing into the idea of death having a claim over Buck - of Buck feeling like death has a claim over him and like I said above this plays into the Christmas Carol undertones we’re getting. It all connects to the fact that with these women, Buck keeps on repeating the same mistakes, he needs to break these chains or he will end up like Jacob Marley in the novel.

There is also something in connecting the chains to the water theme we see playing out in Bucks arc - about water finding its level and the chains representing the anchors that give a boat respite to hold it in place when not in port. If Buck is a boat and his water hasn’t yet found its level, the implication is that his waters are at the very least choppy and at worst - tsunami waves and that he needs to pause for a minute on his journey. Buck seems to make most of his progress when fairly newly out of a relationship with a woman - they seem to stall him - hold him in place but his growth is minimal. We saw in the tsunami, the boat anchored off shore where a couple were trying to get married but in the end only succeeding in their nuptial plans when they were on dry land. All of these chains connecting to Bucks girlfriends suggest they are helping to anchor his boat out at sea, while he is on his journey and needs a moment, but that when his water finds its level he won’t need chains or anchors - he will be in the safety of port.

The red dress is a great colour on her. it is a rusty red/orange and now I’ve been able to get a better look at this dress and I’ve seen the actual scene play out I have a few new thoughts. what I thought might be crosses is actually a looser design which looks remarkably like the graphics 911 uses for the incoming emergency calls to dispatch;

This is Bucks emergency - meeting with Natalia is a cry for help, but when you are the emergency service, you cannot call yourself for help! There is also  something in the fact that the other parts of the design on this dress look like keyholes. This is an interesting concept because Buck is looking for a key not a keyhole because he is looking for answers - a way to unlock what is inside him and move on (and through). Natalia is also a keyhole - she is seeking the answers to death - to what comes after and she is interested in Buck for that reason alone - i’m not saying she cannot develop an interest in Buck beyond that but as it stands the show hasn’t shown us her being interested in anything more than the fact that Buck died - she is the one to bring the conversation around to his death, not him.   

Flowers 

We are pausing here to go off on a little side quest into flower land!!! because the little arrangement on the table at the cafe/restaurant made me giggle!!

we have 2 pink carnations what I think is a deep purple chrysanthemum (although it could be a gerbera) sprays of babys breath purple statice

All of these flowers are very commonly associated with funerals and death.  Pink carnations symbolise gratitude while the dark pink one is also variegated with yellow - which means disappointment or disappointed hopes. the purple  chrysanthemum means sickness and is often given to those who are struggling with illness and need encouragement in their recovery and in most of Europe they are so deeply associated with death and funerals that it is considered offensive to give them to people outside of offering condolences. the babys breath means new beginnings while the purple statice means sympathy and remembrance (as an aside it also has a medicinal use - in the treatment of respiratory illnesses!!)

So all the signs both subtle and textual are telling us that Natalia isn’t going to be around for especially long as there is too much death surrounding her - even when in a setting that should be innocuous! 

Buck

The yellow ochre (at the brown end of the spectrum is very definitely a call back to not only his appointment with Dr Copeland - where he talks about hiding his true feelings from others - but it also connects with a broader theme for Buck that I’ve really only figured out because of this scene and his continued insistence on misunderstanding the assignment!!!

I know I’ve spoken at length about yellow being a colour of communication and clear thinking and its brighter shades can be symbols of joy, however I don’t think I’ve spoken enough about some of the more negative traits that can be associated with yellow - which I’ve never really felt fit the narrative before now, however seeing this episode has changed my opinion somewhat, and I am fairly certain that the show has been leaning into the negative traits for yellow ochre far more heavily than it first appeared. 

So yellow is considered the colour of communication, in part, because it is the first colour the cones of the eye can detect and so over time it has become associated with the need to convey information (such as hazzards etc), but it is also associated with communication because it was used heavily in Christian artworks on Judas - to highlight him and his betrayal - in part because it contrasts well with the blues and reds Jesus is often depicted in. If you look up Hans Holbeins ‘The last Supper’ for example you will see Judas as the only one depicted in yellow ochre. As a result yellow ochre can be associated with cowardice and fear. the brown undertones of yellow ochre can also hint at loneliness and isolation as well as stability and foundations for growth. I’ve gone back through my notes and I’ll highlight some of the key scenes where I think the dual meaning of yellow ochre is at play.

4x02 - the counselling scene with Dr Copeland 4x03 - Maddie talks to Buck after he confesses going to therapy 4x04&5 - Buck finds out about Daniel 4x14 - talking to Taylor while packing to go stay at the Diaz house          - At the hospital - the will reveal 5x03 - Buck gets home after the blackout - Taylor is on the TV 5x04 - Buck talks to Chim about Maddie being ok - ‘Its what she does” 5x14 - Equestrian therapy centre 6x11 - His trousers in the coma dream

These are most of the occasions where he has worn yellow ochre, there are a few others, but I’ve highlighted these one specifically because they tie into a key theme. Interestingly there are only two instances before the phone call with Dr Copeland in season 4. All of the ones I’ve highlighted are connected to Bucks mental state in some way and more specifically they are broadly connected with death (and Daniel). 

These are all times when Bucks mental health is in a vulnerable place - the therapy of it all is showing us Buck is not in a good place - we never really get told if covid lockdown played a part in his decision to go to therapy, or indeed how much the return of Abby played into it, but whatever his reasons, there was clearly some form of trigger, I surmise the fact that Abby returned to his life at a moment when death was surrounding them (including her fiancee being in the firing line) and I think it may have played its part. 

Finding out about Daniel is an obvious one - finding out why he’s felt like he wasn’t enough his whole life etc and how he has been walking in the shadow of death his entire life. interestingly we don’t see anymore yellow ochre in the rest of season 4 until Eddie gets shot - Death is back in Bucks life. The will reveal scene is a bit of a double ended sword on the yellow ochre front, not only does it connect to Eddies brush with death, it also links to Bucks own vulnerable mental state as well as being a moment that calls out Bucks passive suicidal tendencies by forcing him to live for someone besides himself. 

The one from 4x13 in his loft and the one from 5x03 both connect to his vulnerability - Taylor takes advantage of it in 4x13 and kisses him while in 5x03 she is absent and Buck is in a position where - after Eddie telling him he is going to take the advice Buck has given him - he is questioning his own relationship and if he is also doing the same thing to Taylor that Eddie has been doing to Ana. I genuinely think that if Maddie and Chimney hadn’t left LA in the next episode, Buck would’ve broken up with Taylor fairly quickly. As it is his support network shrinks very quickly and he clings to the one thing/person who isn’t expecting more from him and who is sticking around - even if he isn’t truly happy. 

Seeing the ochre at the equestrian therapy centre is also a moment of vulnerability for Buck - he is obviously worried about Eddie and his mental health, but it is also the first time they bring up the shooting and say something more than stating the fact that Eddie got shot. the black being dominant on that jacket is a reflection of him trying to cover up that vulnerability so he can be there for his best friend, but it is also us seeing a chink in Bucks armour around Eddie (remember the only time we’ve seen him in that colour with Eddie is in that locker room scene from 5x03).

I’m not going to go into the trousers from the coma dream in great detail, except to say that we are inside Bucks head for the whole time he is wearing those trousers so we are literally walking through all of buck fears and trauma and that may be why the yellow is on his legs rather than his top.

The graveyard scene was both interesting and loud on the costume front. You do not want to know how long I’ve spent trying to work out if this was the same jacket dyed or if it was a new jacket and I can confirm it is a new Jacket. Both Jackets are by Theory - the ochre one from last season the new one from this!!

This jacket continues the green theming we’ve seen in action for Buck this season, it is however a much darker green that we’ve seen yet and also ties in to Eddies army greens very nicely as well. The darkening of the green is actually really interesting because we’ve kind of gone from the very pale greens in 6a to the coma dream bright sagey green to this much darker olive green - its like we’ve skipped a few steps - a few shades of green. 

The army olive green of it is also aloud choice and very much intentional - it not only connects to Eddie very directly because of it being a shade we see most often on him, but it is also a nod towards the military side of things - the idea that Buck is at war (with himself) and that he’s feeling under attack - not from anyone else, but from and with himself - the no longer knowing who he is or what he wants. 

This green is not one we see on Buck very often at all in fact there are only 2 instances - the low key date with Abby in season 1 and on the couch with Chris when the firefam are at Eddies house - the I’m not really a guest scene. I tend to discount season 1′s costumes unless they are the exact same costume, because they used several designers that season and the costuming of Buck in particular was very different from season 2 onwards, so it tends to not have as much relevance. The 3x11 scene however - very telling in relation to what we’ve seen play out this season 

Eddie 

So much going on in Eddies costumes this week and repeat outfits everywhere you look. At Shannons grave we see Eddie in the same Jumper as therapy scene/ coming home to Buck. While there is very much the connection to Buck misunderstanding the assignment and the heart metaphors at play, there is another aspect to this outfit being worn again and that is his therapy session with Frank. the use of the same jumper as we see him wear in therapy is pointing out that Eddie is able to sit here at his dead wife's grave with their son and create a good experience because he has been in therapy.

I pointed it out in my mini meta, but its worth reiterating (this is literally the only vaguely decent shot of it I can get!) and notice how Eddie is very much not wearing his watch - there is no watch to be seen work or home or fancy watch!!! The lack of watch her is connected to Shannon - they have no more time - she is no longer a physical presence in their lives, in Eddies life, she is still present yes, but she no longer has any influence over Eddies time, his lack of time or indeed over Christophers time. Eddie has time, because the clock has stopped. This tells us Eddie has moved on and is at peace with Shannon now and that he has got past his anger etc, that he is in a good place with that aspect of his trauma and can look at things with a happier eye. 

Talking on phone to his mom when we find out about the earth day field trip. we get Eddie wearing the same jacket he wore to Hens leaving the 118 party. Again Eddies watch is prominent here - in fact Eddies watch is prominent in every scene he has except for the two scenes at the graves of Shannon and Marie. 

Having him in the same jacket as this one;

while putting him in a black shirt that connects him to Shannons death is a choice!! 

I have spent a lot of time while writing this meta trying to figure out why this shirt looks so familiar to me - I haven’t succeeded - it isn’t one we’ve seen Eddie wear before, but it is an interesting choice for him. its this greenish grey colour and has echoes of some of the clothes we saw him in during 5b, but it also has echoes of Buck in 5b - wearing a lot of grey with black. This is relevant because we saw Buck supporting Eddie during his recovery and this scene at Maries grave would appear to be the opening overtures of Eddie providing the same for Buck - now that he has seen more deeply into what is going on with Buck. in the same way that the Kitchen scene in 6x12 echoed the kitchen scene in 5x11 when Buck saw that Eddie wasn’t actually happy or in a good place, this scene in the graveyard has echoes of Buck being there in the immediate aftermath of Eddies breakdown.

Its not the exact same jacket, but I think its close enough that we can draw a comparison between the scenes because the black leather jacket Eddie wears here when Buck talks about Natalia seeing him is incredibly similar to the one Eddie wears to Bobbys in 5x18 - when he tells Bobby that he saved bot hEddie and Chris. That bobby saw him and provided Eddie what he needed, even if Eddie wasn’t necessarily welcoming it with open arms at the time - implying that Eddie will potentially do the same for Buck now - Buck may not be completely open to Bucks help in this moment - distracted as he is thinking Natalia has the answers, but that Eddie will provide support etc anyway.

The jacket is in fact the very same one Eddie wears when we see him at Bucks bedside for the one and only time - it is his widows weeds suede jacket. the moment we see how broken Eddie is over Bucks death and resurrection. The same jacket being worn a couple of episodes later when we have them at a grave side talking about dying alone and being seen by people is a really interesting parallel to draw. there is something in the fact that we see it here in this scene - when Buck is talking about being seen and when coma Buck didn’t see Eddie - in his coma dream or at his bedside in the land of the living. Buck felt/saw everyone else’s presence during his coma - he knew about Bobbys rosary beads and we hear Athenas voice from the real world echo in the coma as well as Christophers voice guiding Buck to the hospital. 

But Eddie was missing from it all - in Bucks eyes and mind. We the audience of course know that Eddie was present and that he was broken over it, we know that his lack of presence was far louder than if he had been more present in the episode. Bucks subconscious however doesn’t know that. He knows that Eddie cares for him, that he is his best friend etc but Buck exploring why Eddie wasn’t there in the dream beyond a conversation with Hen and Chim about what happened to him without Bucks presence is not something he is ready to look at yet. so we have a deeply traumatised Buck searching for answers without the tools to do so and therefore looking in the wrong places while we have an Eddie realising that Buck is different, but that he himself is also different and needing to mourn the fact that things have changed. 

This isn’t about him having his heart broken in a romantic sense, this is him having an epiphany about time and making the most of it. It is about him needing to mourn the fact that he has been changed by Bucks death and reconcile with himself so that he can move forward, so that he can be there fore Buck as Buck was for him. 

I will be forever obsessed with the choice to have Eddie wear the exact same henley in this episode as in 6x07 and 6x13. A scene showing Eddie missing his family and choosing to make time and go home to Texas to see them in the aftermath of seeing Buck make another self destructive choice which will probably end in failure. Connected to a scene where Eddie is talking about his Abuela being taken advantage of to the point of losing almost everything and to a scene where we can not only see the Buckley-Diaz family in full swing, but also see Christopher trying to take advantage of Bucks math skills and failing and the foreshadowing for the poker hustle which also isn’t as successful as Eddie had planned, and which he mentions in the previous scene at Maries grave - choices were made! 

Chris

At Shannon’s grave we get a rare sighting of Chris in a jacket!! The denim jacket is both a connection with Texas and with Eddie, but it is also a connection with Shannon and Shannon‘s death.  Thanks @theladyyavilee  for pointing this out to me, but Chris is wearing a denim shirt of a similar colour when Eddie told Christopher that Shannon had died. 

Denim jackets are culturally tied to westerns, cowboys and to Texas. Christopher wearing one here would appear to be a visual way of tying him to the childhood he had with his mother - backing up the conversation about making s'mores with her when he was younger. The fact that Chris is wearing a denim jacket connected to Shannon and her death over the top of a jumper which is connected to Buck and the moment Buck saved his father is an interesting connection and piece of layering to me.

The hoodie is white and grey striped - the horizontal version of Buck shirt from the shooting. this is suggesting two things to me - one it is connecting Chris directly to the fact he nearly lost both parents - sitting at the grave of one parent while wearing something that echoes an outfit from the moment he could've lost a second parent. I also think there is something in the connection to Buck specifically in this - its directly connected to the will and that Chris has a third parent - I can't wait to see if I'm just clowning hard, or if the change the stripes Chris is wearing are foreshadowing some connection to the will! 

We can't not talk about the fact the striped hoodie actually plays on several fronts not just the Buck connection! Stripes according to my theory are all about change incoming - the theory hasn't yet been disproven by the wardrobe department and I get the feeling that here is no different. The idea that a change is coming in Christophers life is one that has been hovering around for the whole season and the narrowing of the stripes would suggest that change is getting closer. The stripes have been telling us, but so it would appear are the little surfing skeletons on his tee at the end of the previous episode along with a proliferation of water and surf theming surrounding Christopher. I’m at the point now where I think Bucks water might find its level when Chris is in danger - it will be the wake up he needs to sort himself out and get his head out of his ass!!

Then we are onto the shoes. I know its almost impossible to see from the scene, but I am nothing if not determined so after a lot of zooming and messing around with the image levels and a bit of googling, I am pretty sure that these are the shoes Christopher is wearing;

If they aren’t foreshadowing Chris in danger in connection with water after all of the other water and surfing related clothing we’ve seen him in recently I don’t know what to tell you. 

Space theme surrounding Chris retuning to me from the wilderness in the form of a backpack - you have no idea how happy this made me. We haven’t seen Chris wearing anything space themed since 4x08 - in the scene with Buck when he ran away from home after Eddie told him about Ana. We have seen a backpack - a Star wars backpack in season 5 however we never actually see him holding it, it is always Eddie - and the space theme remains in his bedroom (the little we’ve seen of it). To me the star wars backpack was connected to Eddies mental health because he was at war with himself which is why we never see Chris in contact with that bag. The space theming is so closely entwined with Buck and Eddie, no one else and because there is so much blue in Bucks costume choices this season, to have Chris holding a space themed backpack that is blue is an interesting choice. The back pack is one that shows galaxies and very much represents the universe, but we have also seen Buck to be very entwined in Christophers school life this season - helping with homework, baking cookies etc. so it really isn’t that much of a leap to connect the backpack to Buck - giving him a presence in a scene that is connected to Christopher heading out for some school activity it is continuing the universe theme and continuing to Connect Buck to the Diaz boys - in a subtle way which gives him presence in their lives even in his absence. In an episode that is so strongly connected to Shannon, her continued presence in their lives even in her eternal absence, its a clear choice. 

The jumper with its three bands of colour is also intriguing me. there is something in the idea that it connects into the 3 theme we’ve had all season, but there is also something in the idea that the three bands represent the three people who are having the most influence on who Christopher is growing up to be  - Shannon - white as she is not of this world any longer and was the first parent Chris spent time with - Buck - Blue - in part becasue of the blue theming around him tis season, but also because it is next to the white - and therefore suggests the idea of the batton being handed over  - Eddie - the yellow ochre which is much closer to the brown we see Eddie in so much - Eddie is the earth from which Chris grows, it its the brightest colour on the jumper and suggests the brightest and biggest presence in his life.

The jumper in these colours also suggests the three elements of earth water and air, themes we’ve seen in play throughout this season - the blimp being the air (and an episode coming up called love is in the air), Buck being in the air when he gets hit by the lightning, the water theme has been there all season long in various forms, not least the pictures on the Diaz house walls and all the water connected themes on Christophers clothes, and there have been several episodes that have shown us Buck and Eddie digging - the slingshot tree call and the father hit by lightning in the sand are the two main ones. 

Chris sleeping away on the sofa in his stripey top while covered in a check pattern blanket just continues the theme of Chris and change incoming, as well as the threat of danger. For me the fact that we seem to see so much of Christopher in stripes in connection with Buck in some way - implies that the change that is coming is in relation to Buck and the fact that these stripes are being worn on the sofa where we have Chris mimicking Bucks sleeping position on the couch wearing a shade of sea-foam green (which means revitalisation and enlightenment) that also seems to be connecting to Buck - after we saw him in a striped top that echoed Bucks white striped shirt - its all making my eyes stand out on stalks. 

Honestly if you have made it to the end of this epic then I don’t know what to say other than I love you form the bottom of my heart. Its a bit of a beast. Will this show and its wardrobe department ever give me a minute to breathe?? Probably not and thats why we love it!! I’m off to sleep for a million years and send some prayers to the tumblr gods that next weeks meta is n’t such a challenge to upload!

As always, tag list below! Until the next episode! 💜💜💜

@mistmarauder @theladyyavilee  @leothil @girldadbuddie @kitkatpancakestack  @buckscurls @lemotmo @trashendence @elishareads  @clipboardsandstethoscopes @comfortbuddie @fiona-fififi  @callanee @calyssmarviss @pbandjeremiah @batgrldes  @spotsandsocks @livingwherethesidewalkends  @idontshitpostbuttheolympicpark @diazboysbuckley @sweettsubaki @shortsighted-owl @sherlocking-out-loud @wh0re-behavi0r  @favouritealias @hearteyesdiaz​  @ktinastrikesback  @princesschez75​ @bucksbuddie​ @oneawkwardcookie​  @leatherati​ @moniquekatie​ @wanderingwomanwondering​  @trickster-archangel​  @asharadaine​ @ajunerose  @talespinner230​ @pop-kam​ @swiftiebuckleys​ @xxfiction-is-my-realityxx​ @butchjerry​ @mandzuking17​ @yelenasbuddie​ @copyninjabuckley​ @name-code-black-widow @rogerzsteven​ @bi-moonlight​ @usercowboy​ @inthecarwithaboy​ @inandoutoffocus-blog​ @toboldlynerd​

[tboyblogger]

finally finished the profile for the danseiroido!! this took way too long just because drawing anime headshot is my biggest nightmare... and then ended up not even looking That anime LOL... i've already had a few comics up in the tag (search em to read!) but. a brief intro is that i basically just made them idols (somewhat) and threw them in the same boygroup to write sitcom/4-koma slice of life random jokes, as i always do! they also share the same universe with my entire vocaloid neighborhood setup (but this will - might - be for another day)

there isnt a deep overarching plot as for now, its just daily lives of a boygroup that doesnt really do anything idol-like and occasionally featuring others around them from the vocal synth ville. oh and idk if i can call them a polycule because they dont really think or operate that way But! i do want all of them to fool around and have their own "ship moment" (if you want to call it that? i dont really label these things and i want to write it that way) tldr they all fuck one another. every single ship in the group canon (EXCEPT the obvious anyone x len. timeout for him he got his ass kicked out whenever they do it...)

my concept/idea for it (not much tbh this is just me rediscovering my love for vocaloid - though one can argue it never went away - and started make up random shits for them so its pretty much spontaneous and not a serious project or anything) is a parody of sort on stereotypical otome/bl genres and boygroups and anime tropes and obviously the vocaloid fandom/history. but i dont think i know enough about bl nor anime nor boygroups so at the end of the day its just guys hanging out XD hm i should just tag my other vocaloid stuff something else too considering its an elaborated world now, with these guys in it, but... that... really is for another day...

wait forgot to say also making len the leader is idk vocaloid meta funny or sth since hes the most popular but here hes just a wee child not even allowed to getting involved much (to be fair its cause most of the involvement are either freakish or sexual. or both) hes already more than involved in the irl success go away little boy. but Boom! funny ass kid leading army of 6 gay ass men (one of them isnt even a man. but only when its convenient) (sometimes there are 7 of them)

also: everyone learn vietnamese to understand how funny their viet names are rn

SORRY I KEEP EDITING. but they also have a playlist... just for funsies. some of them are serious canon lore related the rest are probably all shitposts

[brianllamawrites]

Love Bites (Vampire!Sherloque Wells X Reader)

A/N: Buckle up because this is a long one! I've re-read and re-written this so many times, I really hope it's okay lol. I never know what to put in terms of warnings, but as the title suggests, there is vampire biting and (probably medically inaccurate) blood loss in this fic. Also, sorry if the French is bad, I used several online translators but I can never be sure how accurate they are.

Word Count: 5255

Tagging: @ageless-aislynn @khayrrilrainxwells @mcbenson25 @yetanotherwells (Feel free to message me if you want to be tagged in anything!)

~

There was a metahuman running rampant throughout STAR Labs. You weren’t sure how they got in, what their powers were, or what they wanted, but you knew they were very angry and were determined to let everyone know about it. The moment the security alarm went off, the poor few of you who were still around at five in the morning had scattered, hoping it would be harder for the meta to track you all down. Being the only one around with powers, Cisco took it upon himself to hunt the hunter. You had all tried Barry’s phone but there was no response.

Sherloque ran off before you did, and before your survival instincts had the chance to kick in, you decided to go on a secret hunt on your own. You had suspected something was off with him almost immediately. Sure, the reason why he attracted your attention in the first place may have been the way he looked at you when he first arrived, but no amount of winks and little smiles could hide all the weird things you noticed. He refused to leave the building until after the sun had set, kept far away from windows and mirrors, and acted so, so strangely whenever someone was bleeding. You tried to ignore it at first, but it was all too coincidental for it not to mean anything. After months of research and spying, you came to one conclusion: 

Sherloque Wells was a vampire.

Okay. Vampire was a strong accusation. It was why you hadn’t told anyone yet. Why you were stalking him through corridors whilst a criminal was threatening everyone's lives. You just couldn't help yourself. Too many vampire novels, Joe would say, but after years of facing metahuman after metahuman, you longed to get your hands on something supernatural. And it was just an added bonus that the supernatural thing you had found was a Harrison Wells doppelganger. It was as if the universe had gift-wrapped him for you – that is, if he turned out to be a friendly vampire of course. You hadn’t decided on what you were going to do if he was secretly evil. Probably scream, get bit, and then die, unfortunately. Although, the getting bit part didn’t sound all that bad – not if it was anything like the novels you had read, anyway.

Sherloque turned the corner into the lounge and you paused at the doorway to eavesdrop. A few footsteps here. A few footsteps there. A few… Nothing. You held your breath and edged as close to the doorway as you could without being seen, but it was like no one was in the room at all. Just pure, eerie silence. Peeking your head around the entrance, you took a brief glance around; the room was large and open, there were no hiding places, and there was no Sherloque Wells.

Against every cell in your body shouting at you that it was a bad idea, you took a deep breath in and crept into the lounge. Your footsteps filled the room with a solitary echo. The city night lights spilt through the giant windows, pulling you out of the dark and towards the soft glow. Drawn towards the window, with the skyline catching your eye, you could feel the hairs on the back of your neck stand on end. Something– Someone was watching you.

You span around. Darting your eyes all over the room trying to follow the shadows that flitted in your peripheral. There was movement. A lot of it. You could feel it in the air. But god forbid, you couldn’t see a single thing. You started to shuffle backwards and attempted to control your breathing but it was a fight against your lungs that you were already losing.

Your back hit something cold and solid, and it was not the window. Fingers grasped your arm and jerked you around.

“Hello chérie."

Yanking your arm away, you stepped out of reach and narrowed your eyes at the man in front of you.

“Sherloque.”

“It’s not very sensible to follow me when there’s a criminal on the prowl.”

Slowly, the detective began to circle you, like an animal stalking its prey. There was a look in his eyes that sent a chill down your back.

“Then again,” he continued, “something tells me it's not the criminal that has your attention, is it? No. You’ve had your eye on me ever since I arrived, studying me just as I study the case of Cicada. I’m afraid your interest has not gone unnoticed.” 

The detective stopped right in front of you and leaned in, you could smell the bergamot on his breath. 

“So, my curious little cat, what conclusions have you drawn from watching me?”

You wanted to take a step back. Or at least, you should’ve wanted to take a step back. The thought had definitely crossed your mind. However, the moment his icy blue eyes captured yours, you were fixated. You couldn’t even want to think about running away no matter how hard you tried.

God. Okay. You never intended this to be a big confrontation, but it was happening whether you liked it or not. Right here. Right now. Ignoring the croak in your voice, you mustered up as much confidence as you could and said what needed to be said.

“I think you’re a vampire.”

The phrase made Sherloque’s lips involuntarily widen into an indulgent smile.

“You think?” he teased.

“I know.”

He paused before replying, letting himself appreciate your firm tine. “And do tell, what exactly makes you so sure?”

Words fell out of your mouth, toppling over each other in a big, bumbling mess. Amongst the babbling you managed to get out some kind of accusation.

“Y-you don’t– You don’t have a reflection.”

“And?”

And? And… Shit. The more you tried to think, the harder it was to conjure up any of your memories. It was like that damned smirk of his was chasing away all the evidence you had collected over the months, and not in the usual flirtatious kind of way. He huffed, amused at the panic that had settled on your face – he was enjoying this too much. You weren’t sure what kind of mind games he was trying to play with you, but you weren’t going to stand for it.

“Stop it!”

His eyes glimmered.

“Stop what?” 

“That stupid thing you’re doing with your eyes. You’re hypnotising me or something with your vampire powers. I know it.”

Sherloque innocently placed his hand on his chest. “Moi? Never.”

“Sherloque,” you warned.

The detective took a step back and the fog in your brain had been lifted. You could finally think clearly again, enough to see the two sharp fangs pointing out of Sherloque’s wide grin. Finally, you thought. Finally, something supernatural – and you figured it out without anyone else's help. 

Sherloque leaned back against the window, folding his arms and softening his gaze. “You know,” he started, “I knew this was going to happen.”

You rolled your eyes. “No you didn’t.”

“I hoped this was going to happen. As I said, I've noticed your interest and it is… mutual.”

“Mutual? In what way?”

He shrugged. “You have a sharp eye for details, a master detective appreciates such a thing.”

“Uhuh, is that all?”

“Tu as un beau sourire que je ne peux pas quitter des yeux.”

“You know I don’t understand French.” You crossed your arms, hoping he wasn’t mumbling an insult.

Sherloque hesitated; a myriad of confessions lingered on the tip of his tongue. You were brave enough to confront him, but he wasn’t sure if he was brave enough to confront his own feelings, after all, he didn’t exactly have the best history with falling in love. Five Renee Adlers. All women who he once loved. All women who hated the shit out of him. He couldn’t stand the thought of you hating him like that.

A loud bang echoed down the corridor followed by heavy footsteps and shouting – one of the voices being recognisably Cisco. The footsteps soon stopped, but you both knew neither of you were safe standing in the middle of a big open area.

Your attention darted to the corridor, back to Sherloque, and then over his shoulder. The twinkling lights of the night skyline had diminished and the horizon was growing lighter and lighter by the second. He didn’t have to question you, the look on your face combined with the prickling feeling on the back of his neck told Sherloque everything he needed to know. You shifted your weight from one foot to the other.

“What do we do now?” you asked, watching the detective stiffen his back.

“What do you want to do?” 

“For starters, I would like to leave this room alive.”

Sherloque scoffed. “Is that what you think of me? A murderer?”

“No! But–” you took a step forwards “–vampires need to drink blood right?”

“Oui, the longer you go without it the weaker you become, but a vampire can go many years without consuming blood before dying. And I can assure you, a well-experienced vampire can acquire more than enough blood without killing.”

Sherloque’s eyes were on yours, but you were positive that all his attention had moved to your neck. If he wanted to kill you he would have done it by now, but that didn’t mean you were completely safe. The others didn’t know about Sherloque’s secret for a reason, and now that you knew, you were a threat to that reason, and something had to be done about it.

The top of the sun began to peak over the horizon and Sherloque dropped the smug, in control act that he was playing. Quickly, he took your hand and took a step towards the door, hoping you would follow. You held his hand tightly and didn’t move an inch.

“Ma chérie, I cannot stay here,” he said desperately.

He could have yanked his hand away and left. He could have pulled you off your feet and dragged you out of the room if he really wanted to. But no. He wanted you to come with him, and he wanted you to come willingly.

“I will not harm you, I promise.”

There was no glimmer in his eyes. No tricks being played. You glanced at the sun rising and a part of you wondered if Sherloque would let the sun burn hum just so he could stay with you a little longer. Your stomach grew uneasy at the thought of watching that happen. Turning back to the detective, you nodded and let him lead you out of the room, away from the harsh rays of light spilling through the windows.

~

Trying to avoid running into the metahuman problem, you avoided loud noises coming from the lifts and found yourselves in one of STAR Lab’s many abandoned, windowless storage rooms. The lights had yet to be changed into LEDs like the rest of the building, but to your surprise they had no trouble turning on when you flicked the switch and filled the room with a gentle, orange glow. There wasn’t any furnishing, nowhere to sit down, nothing to hide behind. It was a long, empty, concrete box with Sherloque standing at one end, and you at the other.

“I know vampires are supposed to be pale,” you said, “but now that we’re in proper light, you look really pale.”

"Oui. It has been a few months since I last fed." You could feel his eyes on your neck again. "It has been taxing."

“Then why haven’t you found a uh– meal?”

“I may not be human, but I would like to consider myself not a monster.”

“You haven’t found anyone willing.” You bit your lip and averted your gaze. A terrible idea wormed its way into your head. A terrible, stupid idea. The kind that you would read about in your beloved vampire novels.

“Non, not on this earth.” Keeping his eyes on you, Sherloque made his way to the middle of the room. “Not yet, anyway.”

You took a small step towards him. “I suppose you’d be quicker at catching Cicada if you were at full strength, right?”

The detective smiled softly at you. He didn’t need any vampire powers to know what you were thinking. “Ma chérie, if I took enough blood to be at my full strength, you would be very ill for a long time.”

Feeling like a silly teen trying to charm your way into trouble, you took a few more steps closer, just out of arm's reach, and flicked your eyes back up at him. “Then I’ll be in need of someone to take care of me.”

Sherloque hummed as he considered your offering. Oh yes. He could definitely take good care of you. And it would certainly give him more time to think up a charming way of telling you how he truly felt about you.

“Very well, mon amour. I promise I shall take care of you, afterwards,” he said as his eyes darkened with hunger. “If you are sure?”

“I’m sure.”

It all happened so quickly. Before you knew it, Sherloque had closed the gap between the two of you, wrapping an arm around your waist and pulling you so close against his chest that you swore, even if he didn’t have enhanced senses, he could hear how fast your heart was beating. He cupped your cheek gently and tilted your head to the side, eyeing up your warm veins. Leaning in, his chilled lips pressed against your hot neck, sucking the spot he had decided on. He lingered, letting his teeth graze the tender bruise he made.

You shuddered feeling his hot breath, and for a split second, you felt those survival instincts of yours telling you to run. Momentarily, you closed your eyes and buried those feelings, trying to focus on Sherloque instead. His nose brushing against your skin. His arms squeezing around your side. His hand on your jaw with his thumb stroking your cheek. Knowing that there was no turning back now made your insides fizz with anxious excitement.

He pulled back just enough to look at you, as if to ask for your permission one last time. You could feel your heart thumping in your head, so loud that if you opened your mouth, you were sure it would be the only sound that would come out. Clenching your jaw to keep yourself composed, you gave Sherloque a reassuring smile. Yes. You have my permission. He smiled back and his eyes glimmered. Just like it happened in the lounge, a foggy haze blanketed your mind, making everything feel like a dream. You didn’t think getting your blood drunk would be painful enough to warrant hypnosis, but you weren’t going to complain about a little bit of supernatural painkiller.

Even under Sherloque’s spell, you could tell that something changed in his eyes. The soft, cold look was overcome with lust, and his lips spread open, revealing those two inhumanly sharp fangs of his. Once more, the vampire leaned into your neck.

You gasped as his teeth pierced your skin with a painless, but sharp pressure. Despite the hypnosis, there was still a small part of your brain that was alert and trying to send you signals that something dangerous was happening. No matter how much you tried, you couldn’t stop from instinctively flinching away, but Sherloque pulled you back, holding you so tightly that you could barely wiggle. Once you were secure in his grip, he continued.

The fangs pulled away, but the lips stayed put. Sherloque licked the blood from your neck, and as soon as it reached the back of his throat, the months of thirst he endured hit him all at once. Suddenly he couldn’t help himself. You were too good. The licking turned into desperate sucking which caused the two of you to stumble. With your back hitting the nearest wall, you let out a whimper and grabbed a fist full of Sherloque’s wavy hair to steady yourself. Usually, the detective was very particular about how his hair looked, but right now he was far too drunk on your blood to care.

You weren’t sure how long it had lasted, but finally, Sherloque pulled away. The moment his arms left you, your legs buckled. Your vision was unfocused and Sherloque was a blur, moving quickly to catch you and softly sit you on the floor. His arms felt much stronger than what you remembered. Kneeling in front of you, he pulled off his scarf and wrapped it around your neck, tying it just enough to stop the bleeding – he’d see to it medically when you were properly safe. Seeing your glazed eyes trying to focus on him, Sherloque cupped your face with both his hands and gently guided your attention towards him. You wanted to rub your eyes, but your arms felt impossibly heavy to lift, so you settled on blinking until your vision cleared up and you could actually look at the man in front of you. His pupils were dilated, his once-pale skin was flushed with lively colour, and his lips were wet and red, stained with blood that smeared down his chin. 

“Hmm, you… You look…” you mumbling trailed off.

"Just relax chérie, you won't be able to function normally for a few weeks. Best not to force it."

A door a few corridors away slammed, followed by Cisco shouting. The noises echoed painfully in your ears as they grew closer to your hiding place. 

“I can say for certain,” he stood up, whipped out a handkerchief to clean his face, and then straightened his clothes, “you’ve given me more than enough blood to deal with our intruder. Wait here. Once I return, I shall get you home and take care of you, just as I promised.”

You wanted to object to being left alone, but with a smile and a wink, Sherloque left the room, closing the door quietly behind him.

A few minutes passed and the sound of the intruder stopped. You waited for Sherloque to come waltzing back to you, but all you received was silence. A few more minutes passed, and you grew restless. It shouldn’t be taking so long. You made yourself wait a little longer, but the silence was torture. He really should be back by now. A few more minutes and… No. No more minutes. No more waiting. Sure, you were too weak to walk, but you weren’t a damsel in distress, you weren’t going to just sit still in an empty storage room all by yourself. Using the wall, you pushed yourself forwards onto your hands and knees and slowly shuffled towards the door. Your head spun as you moved, but you carried on, determined to find out what was going on.

Aside from Cisco, no one knew what the power the metahuman has, so for all you knew, Sherloque could be in danger. Or maybe Cisco was being overpowered and he was in danger. Or maybe everyone was in danger and you were their only hope of survival. Or maybe everything was perfectly fine and you were worrying about nothing. You really hoped the latter was true because you didn’t need a detective to deduce that you weren’t going to be much help in a fight right now.

You reached the door and strained to lift your arm. Curling your fingers around the door handle, you used your weight to gracelessly heave it open, narrowly avoiding the door swinging into your face. The corridor was dark and empty. No Cisco. No handsome detective. Struggling for breaths, you managed to lean yourself against the doorframe, thrilled at your small accomplishment. You let out a huff, eyes growing tired of staying open. Wherever your dashing vampire was, he better come back for you soon, and he better not be injured.

The hypnotising thing Sherloque did had started to wear off, making you hyper aware of your arms and knees aching, and your neck stinging like hell. Vampire romance novels never mentioned how much being bitten would feel like… well, like being bitten. Something told you that there was a lot about vampires that vampire romance novels don’t mention. For example, it really sucked to wait for what felt like a million stupid years for one of them to come back for you.

A loud look over here kind of cough snapped you out of your miserable thought spiral.

Your head shot up, the movement causing your stomach to swirl and turn, but you were too overwhelmed and excited to care. Finally! Sherloque walked over to you and crouched by your feet. He was a lot less easy to focus on now, but still just as nice to look at.

“Hello trouble. I found Cisco and we put the metahuman in the pipeline. He is dealing with the mess that was made, and I have come to finally take you home–” Sherloque looked at you, then at the open door, then back at you with an amused smile. “Je suis désolé. Was the wait too long for you to handle?”

You opened your mouth, but the back of your throat was too dry to make a quip. Oh. That’s right. The grand trials and tribulations of trying to speak. You swallowed and spoke with as much determination as you could muster.

“You,” you started, your voice hoarse and sore, “were gone–”

“Oui. But I returned, just as I promised.”

“Gone f-for hours!”

Sherloque knitted his eyebrows and frowned, looking down at his pocket watch. He turned it to face you.

“No. I was gone for approximately twelve minutes.”

Suddenly, the detective’s hands were all over you. Face. Shoulders. Neck. Sherloque wasn’t a doctor, but you sat as still as you could and let the man carry out his examination. He promised to take care of whatever state he had left you in, but a part of you was still hoping that your state would be more breakfast in bed and less hospital gown. You attempted to take a slow deep breath, trying to make yourself as calm as the face you were looking at seemed to be, but what you ended you with was shaky and abrupt.

Sherloque stopped and sweetly held you by the shoulders – you could feel the new warmth of his hands through your clothes.

“You’ll be just fine.” His voice was soft and soothing. “I’ll get you home, make you something to eat to get some strength back into you, maybe make some tea to help you sleep– Hey. Hello? Chérie, look at me.”

You didn’t even notice it at first, but everytime you closed your eyes, it was getting increasingly difficult to open them again. With all your aches and pains, you were beyond exhausted. It would be so easy to close your eyes and drift off–

“I need you to stay awake for me,” Sherloque spoke in a slightly raised tone to keep your attention on him. “You can sleep as soon as I get you in bed. But until then, I need you to keep your eyes open. Okay?”

You mumbled that you’d try your best, and then the next few moments were a complete blur.

~

Sherloque had gotten you home… somehow. The details didn’t bother you, you were just happy to finally be home. Sherloque didn’t spare any time to start living up to that promise he made. He attentively tended to your wound, helped you change into pyjamas, and ushered you to bed. It wasn’t until after you had devoured his homemade soup did you lie down to sleep.

You tossed. You turned. You were exhausted beyond all means, but no amount of closing your eyes and hiding under the covers was helping you to fall asleep. Tor-ture. Grumbling, you rubbed your eyes and sat up. It wasn’t that long ago that you were struggling to stay awake. Penance from the universe for finding pleasure in aiding a vampire perhaps? No. He may have been smug, but Sherloque was a good vampire – Your vampire.

“Everything alright?”

Speak of the devil. You looked up at the detective leaning against your doorway and pouted.

“Can’t sleep.”

“No?”

“I know it’s the middle of the day, but my room is more than dark enough with my curtains closed. It’s like I'm too tired to be tired,” You said. “How does that make sense?”

“I bit you. There must still be adrenaline in your body.” Sherloque strolled over to sit by the side of your bed. “Your brain is still in fight or flight mode, bien-aimée, you need to relax.”

“Bien-ahh, uh–”

“Bien-aimée.”

“Bien-aimée,” you slowly repeated . “That’s a new one. What does it mean?”

Beloved.

Sherloque turned his head to look out the window and hummed.

“Maybe I will teach you some French when you get better.” He quickly kicked off his shoes and turned back to you. “But for now, you need to relax and you need to sleep.”

The detective swiftly slid under the covers. You opened and closed your mouth, deciding not to protest, and instead shuffled to make enough room for Sherloque to sit comfortably next to you. For once, you were glad for your small double bed; the lack of space pulling the two of you together, making Sherloque putting his arm around you feel like a natural advancement – the kind you had been trying to hype yourself up to make ever since you got home. 

Somehow, asking a vampire to bite you was less nerve wracking than trying to cuddle up and relax with one. At least when you were running around STAR Labs you had adrenaline and the imposing threat of being hunted by a metahuman to motivate you. Now that the waters had settled, there was nothing to mask the fact that you had just ran head first into some kind of relationship with a detective vampire from another earth who you were half assuming was going to kill you when he found out you were investigating him. 

You leaned into Sherloques side, rested your head against his shoulder. Perhaps it was better not to think too hard about these things. It wasn’t exactly like you were looking to get married the next day, just some good company and some well needed sleep. Feeling Sherloque relax under you, you closed your eyes tight, focusing on his thumb softly rubbing against your arm. The tiredness was really catching up to you now. With the cool, calm darkness granted to you via your black out curtains, and the warm embrace of your duvet wrapped around you and Sherloque, falling asleep no longer felt impossible.

“Relax and sleep,” you mumbled, “I think I can do that.”

Sherloque rested his head on top of yours, listening to the slow rhythm of your breathing. Why on earth he decided to get in bed with you was beyond him. He was so desperate to change the subject that he didn’t give himself time to think about what he was doing. Idiot. Whatever happened to avoiding another Renee Adler situation? They had all moved on but the memories of them – or more so, the memories of the mistakes he made with them – stuck to him like chewing gum in hair.

With a deep sigh, Sherloque closed his eyes. You weren’t her. You weren’t any version of her. But that didn’t stop him from assuming he’d screw things up with you like he had done over and over again with Renee. There was a chance that she and him just weren’t meant to be, but there was another, greater chance that any relationship with Sherloque just wasn’t meant to be – the latter scared him more than direct sunlight ever could. He hoped to God that you were feeling relaxed because inside his head was far from it.

~

To save your sleep schedule from becoming vamperic, you had planned to sleep until the sun had risen again, but it was quarter to midnight when you woke up. You almost weren't sure that you had woken up as you had to pry your eyelids open from deep sleep only to be met with darkness. Sherloque was lying flat on his back and you were still by his side, head still on his shoulder, limbs half sprawled out over him. All your joints ached and the pressure in your head persisted – perhaps it was a good thing that you woke up in the dark because oversleeping left you just as groggy as you felt when you got home.

“Beloved.”

You flinched. It made sense that the vampire next to you was awake during the night, but he was so still and you were so sleepy from waking up that it never got close to crossing your mind. You angled your head to look up at the outline of Sherloques Jaw.

“Huh?”

“Bien-aimée,” Sherloque said gently, staring at the ceiling. “It means beloved.”

The words tingled as you repeated them in your head. Beloved. Beloved. Beloved. 

“Sherloque,” you breathed, “have you been calling me pet names this whole time?”

“Perhaps.”

It didn’t take vampire night vision to see the guilty, smug smile on his face; you bit your lower lip to hide a similar, bashful smile from appearing on your own. Sure. He noticed you noticing him. He took a liking to you. He flirted, bit, and then slept beside you. But it never occurred to you that he had been pining for you far longer than you had been for him. Not trusting the dark to conceal your flustered expression, you turned and smushed your face into Sherloques chest.

“Bien-aimée,” he said gleefully, squeezing his arms around you, “my fondness for you is not new information.”

Despite the tiredness and Sherloques chest muffling your voice, your laugh was undeniably embarrassed. “This. Whole. Time. Sherloque. Why didn’t you say anything?”

The pressure of Sherloques arms slightly loosened, and you were once again thankful for the dark hiding both your face from him and his face from you. Whatever he was thinking of, it wasn’t good, that you were certain of.

Renee. He had to get over it. You weren’t another repeated, doomed relationship. You were new. You were brilliant. And right now you were his and he couldn’t give that up, not for people who lived on different earths and didn’t even understand him properly. 

Your heart was beating fast, and Sherloque couldn’t stand feeling his silence weigh you down any longer.

“A relationship with a vampire isn’t an easy one,” he finally said.

“No relationship is.”

“But especially with me.”

Taking your time as to not worsen your headache, you propped yourself up on your elbows so Sherloque could see your face.

“I’m not one to back down from a challenge, whether it’s supernatural, investigative–” you looked at the uncertainty in Sherloque’s bright, blue eyes “–or emotional. I’m strong enough to work through anything, and I’m sure you are too.”

Your eyes had bags but they were full of so much more life than they were when he first brought you home. If he wanted you to carry on looking at him like that, he’d have to move on. He would move on. 

“My dear, if you believe I am strong enough–” Sherloque smiled at you softly “–then I am strong enough.”

“Good.”

You smiled brightly and leaned forwards, capturing his soft, warm lips with a kiss. 

French translations:

Ma chérie: My dear

Moi: Me

Tu as un beau sourire que je ne peux pas quitter des yeux: You have a beautiful smile that I can't take my eyes off

Oui: Yes

Non: No

Je suis désolé: I'm sorry

Bien-aimée: Beloved

[obsessedwithstarwars]

Short Nocturn in Gotham prompt

I have an idea, and no brain space for it so here ya go. If anyone makes a story off this, please tag me!

This is a dp x dc crossover. And Anger Management because I’m obsessed with Jazz x Jason.

Jazz lives in Gotham, and works as a psychologist for Arkham. Things are going as normal as can be expected for Gotham and an Amity Parker. She’s only dealt with a few muggings and kept her head down because she’s Liminal! and doesn’t want to get the attention of a certain group of vigilantes.

What if Nocturn came to Gotham? (I don’t remember much of the episode so hopefully this tracks)

I would personally start it out trying to trick the reader. (Sorry, It’s fun!) A cute chapter or 2, where Jazz and Jason are together. So normal. Super accepting of each other. With so much fluff it hurts. But slowly, as the story goes on, more and more things seem off. Like déjà vu, like she’s done this before?? (Kind of similar to the vibe of that one Doctor Who episode where Donna Noble gets saved to the Library database. I can’t remember if it’s a 2 part episode? I think it’s called Silence in the Library??? I don’t know, and I’m not looking it up. If you see River Song’s first episode with David Tennant’s Doctor then you’ve got the right one. I think.) Jazz just slowly sees inconsistencies, and brushes them off at first. Hey, she deserves a chance to be happy, okay?! But as time goes on, there are just too many to ignore. She has a nagging feeling something’s not right and briefly wonders if it’s a ghost. But the only one that makes sense is Nocturn and he can’t be in Gotham right? Right??!

When she discovers Jason’s Red Hood, the revelation almost shocks her awake (total mistake on Nocturn’s part. He thought the vigilante thing would keep her asleep or deepen her sleep since it’s kinda normal for her with her brother). She does some quick thinking as she feels herself waking up, and yep, it’s definitely Nocturn, and decides she needs help stopping him. Makes a plan. Not a great one, but hey, it was last second. Literally.

Meanwhile Jason POV shows he’s struggling with believing it too. Thinks she’s too good to be true. (I don’t know anything about the DC universe. I’m going off of the fic Friendly Neighborhood Vigilante by @gilbirda Go check it out, it’s amazing!) And when she discovers he’s Red Hood, she does something ghostly (prolly eyes or strong stuff) and he’s like holy crap she’s a meta, and before he’s had a chance to process anything she says something like “Come find me when you wake up.” (gives me Edge of Tomorrow: Live. Die. Repeat. vibes which just feels fitting here) and shoots him in the chest right before shooting herself (non lethal bullets cause what if you can die in your dream?) and that shocks him awake.

She wakes up at her desk in Arkham to find out that all of Gotham is asleep. Thankfully this includes the villains. (But not for long!)

Does she call Danny or try to deal with it herself?

Is Danny the Ghost King?

Does Jason actually go or does Jazz have to find him?

She’s definitely questioning whether what she had with Jason was real. He does the same with her. Personally, I would keep Batman asleep for a lot of it but that’s because I know nothing about him aside from Wayne Family Adventures (which I’ve been told doesn’t count), the classic old show I watch when I’m sick, and a few episodes from Batman: The Brave and The Bold. Also Young Justice, but that was years ago. Before season 3.

If they have nightmares:

Would Jason’s nightmare be the Joker killing him?

Maybe Jazz’s nightmare is about Dan trying to kill her? Or coming back?

And that’s all I got. Maybe I’ll try to write something eventually, but right now my heart is heavy and my brain is fog. So if you have any ideas, go for it and tag me! I would love to know how you would change/finish it!

[leafyforreal]

https://www.tumblr.com/leaves-in-autumn/721300657973362688/thinking-about-how-the-one-time-dick-has-a-say-in

Your tags here are pure YESSSS FINALLY SOMEONE SAYS IT!!!! It's Dick's role how could he not have a say in it. additionally so often the whole Tim-should-have-Robin stance seems to have undertones of racism to it? Like idk how to explain it but I get intense vibes of "Tim deserves it 🥺 not that Other Kid 😒", or vibes of "Tim is the best Robin 😤 Damin should just go back to his mom he's too violent". Y'know? And in fics it's always Dick who needs to apologize and say he was wrong, not the actual adult who attacked a child because they were given a much needed wake up call and told to grow up. At this rate Damian will be Batman and there will still be fans saying Tim should be Robin

(Gonna go on an incoherent tangent here, sorry in advance. Also if I get any of my facts wrong, feel free to let me know lmao)

I'm going to give Tim some credit and say that, despite me dunking on him in the anti tag every five days, I don't actually mind him being Robin.

He's great as the character, has some good comics, and his interactions with the Titans are actually really fun to read and write about! You know, if you ignore the blatant sexism toward Stephanie and the "most obedient" Robin agenda.

On a more serious note, it's also hard to criticize how he got the Robin role too harshly, because from a meta stance there was no way to give the Robin mantle to a whole new kid after the previous one literally exploded on Batman's watch without it feeling really iffy.

But then they decided to bring Robin back, so really there's no easy way to write "oh yeah, Bruce decides to put another kid in danger like the last one" without making it feel super out of character for Bruce (which is something that most Batman comics suffer from anyway atm) and really annoying for some Robin fans (me).

To conclude this thought: I don't mind Tim as Robin. But I would like to talk about the fact that he feels like the anti-thesis of Robin.

Let me explain. From a meta standpoint, Robin exists so that younger comic book readers can project onto a character their own age. So within canon, comic book writers have to find a way to include a superhero kid without it feeling like the adults are being negligent. In DC comics this ranges from "this is fine" to "what the fuck." I would put Dick and Damian in the "this is fine" category, while the other kids get firmly shoved into the "what the fuck" box.

To reiterate, from a meta, outside the comics, standpoint: Robin exists for kids to project onto. But inside the comics, Robin exists for one of two reasons (depending on the run). Either being Batman's sidekick, or being an outlet for Batman to help process Robin's trauma.

Dick starts fighting crime to avenge his parents and it's implied that Batman makes him Robin because he knows that he can't stop him. The same is similar for Jason (also depending on the run), where Bruce mentors him in an attempt to keep him safe and encourage him toward a better path.

The Stephanie Robin comics are really short, and the writing for her was historically. Bad in that era. But I would headcanon that Batman's reasoning for allowing her to be Robin are similar.

Going against the wider consensus on this one by saying that Robin exists because Robin needs Batman. Not the other way around (no matter how many times modern Batman writers try to push that narrative).

Tim is the anomaly (lol spiderverse moment). And I don't mind that!! Tim views Robin primary as Batman's sidekick. He's there to support Batman. Batman needs him, he doesn't need Batman.

What I would really, really love for DC to do with Tim is bring that idea full circle and create a vigilante identity for him that he needs the same way that Dick needs Nightwing, Jason needs Red Hood, and Stephanie needs Spoiler. It would actually make me crazy like Tim.

Keeping Tim as Robin, bringing him back as Robin when Damian is still the canonical Robin, is tired. Which leads me to my next point.

Damian is a great Robin. I cannot express how much I absolutely adore this angry child as Robin. Moving on from the sassy, cheerful child in pixie boots to scowling sword child is actually the funniest move DC could have possibly made.

And he's deserving of the Robin role the most out of any character after Dick for two reasons: he embodies why Robin needs to exist and Dick literally gave it to him.

When Damian becomes Robin, it's Dick (as Batman) giving Damian a role where he can do good and see how the good he does affects other people. At this point in the canon, there's no need for Tim as Robin, because Bruce is dead. Dick doesn't need a Robin, but Damian needs stability.

Damian being Robin makes sense.

Where I really start hating Tim is when we hit this point in the comics. I hate how Tim treats Damian when he shows up (not surprised tho, bc Tim is the least empathetic Robin) and I double triple hate that Tim goes by Red Robin. It's so cringey and ASLDKFJ like sir please just move on?? Like the other Robins did?

I die inside whenever I hear the argument about how Damian "stole" Robin and tried to kill him. If we're calling what Damian did stealing, then that means technically Tim stole Robin, considering the mantle wasn't even given to him the same way Jason, Stephanie, and Damian received it.

On the "he tried to kill Tim" note, I would ask readers to examine their biases because I don't see Cass getting shit for being raised as a human weapon, but Damian gets blasted to high heaven. People really like to forget that Damian was coming straight off Ra's al Ghul's brainwashing. Dick seems to be the only person to actually understand that, and he also gets blasted for taking the mantle away from Tim.

I'm not sure if the comics are explicitly racist about the Tim vs. Damian debacle (bc it's been a minute since I read that run), but it sure feels fucking racist the way fans put the only brown Robin on blast while praising their white fave.

Sorry, this was a really long ramble just to say that: I don't mind Tim as Robin, but Damian is the best one. Change my mind. (You can't.) And also please for the love of GOD stop writing fics where Batfam members "apologize" to Tim.

[greatlyblessed]

Sorry not if you were ever asked this. For 03 what is your opinion on each of the boys?

Hey! I don't think I've been asked this on tumblr so, time to go on a Rant™️

('03 is my favorite turtle show. It's just so goooood but okay specifically about the turtles--)

oh right i got really long I should add in a readmore--

Gonna start with Mikey. Ah Mikey. I think I called him a gremlin troll of a turtle in some tags earlier and I stand by that. This turtle wakes up every day going 'how can I make someone else (mostly Raph) chose violence'. He is good at reading people and he makes that everyone else's problem. Weaponized Incompetence King. I love him so much. He was my favorite on my first watch through but I don't think I have a favorite any more.

But also he's a good boy!! He wants to help people out. I was rewatching the series but I didn't really get past season 1 so I'm just thinking about the first Turtle Titan episode. He got an idea on how they could be COOL but nobody else was down for it, so fine he'll do it on his own--

10/10 turtle. Menace to society. Probably the smartest Mikey in the turtle multiverse.

Raph. Oh sweetie. Boy has so many feelings and struggles with dealing with them. 😭Relatable. He learns and grows over the course of the series and I'm happy for him. Big softie on the inside, prickly cactus on the outside. Feel like a lot of his anger is just other feelings turning into anger because y'know. Emotions Hard.

He has his struggles and his problems but he loves his brothers. I love his dynamics with everyone. Fighting with Mikey, the way he manages to actually be Soft with Donnie. The way he manages to even out into someone that helps Leo keep his balance over just. Challenging him in a way that sets Leo off. (Remembering the fight over the sword Shredder gave Leo early on now--)

10/10 turtle too. Goober. Not as funny as he thinks he is (and that only makes him more endearing.)

Leo. Oh no honey. Sweetheart. Baby boy. This boy goes THROUGH IT. I've seen a meta about his Trauma and how he's a lot more laughing and joking around pre-Window and then we don't see him lightening up again till Fast Forwards/BTTS. And yeah I can see it. This boy thinks DEEP. Maybe a bit too much so. Internalization King. Give him a nice cup of tea, a warm blanket and a hug please.

He's just so weighted down with the task of keeping his brothers alive. Mikey's the one who wanted to be a superhero but Leo's probably the one who actually has the most 'heroic' temperament. Very keen sense of 'bad things are happening and we can do something about it'. But also 'bad things may happen to us if we meddle too much'. (Which, they do. And then they all almost die because of calls Leo made so of course he handles that extremely well.)

10/10 turtle. Daddy's boy got his Autistic Swag. Ninjitsu is his special interest.

Don. Ah, Donny. (Which is apparently how it's spelled in 03.) Kind soul. Sweetheart. Precious. Absolute menace. Do not let his mild manners fool you. This boy is insane. LEAST common sense out of the four of them. Thinks that playing a flight simulator makes him qualified to fly an actual helicopter. (If Raph had hair Don would absolutely be making it go grey.) Mikey is a menace on purpose. Don? Don thinks he's the sensible, rational one. Which just makes him even more terrifying.

He's such a kind, sweet soul. Loves building his vehicles lol. He's got the combo of being fairly even-tempered and also more mild mannered so he's good at not making any Bickers worse among his family. I love how they all dropped everything and went to check on him in that one episode where he was stressed out and yelled at everyone. 😭

10/10 turtle. Let's not forget this boy had his own PTSD arc in the Back to the Sewers season. Of all places.

[jademickian]

oh man, haven't done tag games in a while, sorry friends 🥹 i've been passive the last few weeks because uni is really taking most of my time and energy, but i appreciate the tags and i love love reading your answers<3

ok enough blabbering, thank u @callivich, @lingy910y, and @mickeysgaymom for the totally optional, fun gallavich questions tag!

What’s a fic you’ve read more than once?

Stuck at Three for Days - delicious banter, laughed my ass off

another kiss is all it takes - so fuckin sweet, dude

Like Real People Do - just finished my reread last month:)) i needed the comfort

Cooperative Gameplay - currently rereading! i miss the feels

Sometimes I reread bits and pieces from ORFNSP and since we're alone because they changed my brain chemistry. I will eventually get around to actually rereading them.

2. What’s a gifset you always have to reblog?

You know the one... this legendary world heritage gifset

3. What’s a headcanon you can’t stop thinking about?

not sure if this is counted but i always like to think that once, ian got struck with grief about monica's death on her death anniversary. mickey asks him what's wrong and he opens up about it. ian will say it's stupid but mickey will truly handle it with grace and say nah man it's not. because yahknow, he gets it. and ian melts at it, because no one has acknowledged his grief like this before. mickey teases him about it a bit, sure, but deep down he held ian's mourning warmly, like petals on his palm. and they went together to the cemetery that day, simply sat in front of her grave and talked. the good things, the bad. and that despite it all "hey, tleast she popped out an alien lookin mfer i ended up marryin." they get pizza after.

4. What’s a fanart you love looking at?

Van kiss by @lingy910y

Prince Mononoke by @darthvaders-wife

Prison Boyfriends by @gallavichonly

Part of Our World by @steorie

It's Okay by WhatsaMattavich

This Kiss by @deathclassic

SO MANY others actually if i could fit them all here

5. What’s an idea you’d love to create if you had the time/inspiration?

i actually have a LIST lmao. one of those has something to do with art because i cannot take my mind away from human mickey and manananggal ian (manananggal is a Philippine myth creature with wings and can separate the upper half of its body from its lower half).

6. What’s something you’ve discovered since entering this fandom? A new trope you love? A different analysis of the show? Something else?

oh man. believe it or not, i was never into fics. i was in fandoms before, but i just couldn't get into fics within those fandoms (i tried). this is the only time i truly liked and LOVED reading fics. it really speaks volumes about the talent and dedication, and i'm glad i got to experience it.

it's also fun reading metas on the show and getting different perspectives, especially on characters. one of my favorites (just because i was so distressed about it the first time i watched it) are analyses on the city hall scene and ian's hesitation on marriage. after reading up others' thoughts on it explaining the why's, i totally felt some relief and was able to get some sleep. lol

7. What’s an underrated trope or concept you’d like to see more of?

apocalypse aus 👍

8. What’s your favourite season? And has this changed after multiple rewatches of the show?

The first five seasons are gems to me. but i truly love season 2 because it's so chill (at least compared to some of the heavier seasons after) and the gallaghers move as a unit. special mention for season 4 because it holds Emily and Lazarus.

9. What’s a plot hole you wish had been answered or resolved?

same qualms with @mickeysgaymom about mickey's mom. brain rotting over it.

10. What scene or moment do you feel isn’t discussed enough?

not gallavich related, and i'm sure people have already mentioned it, but sometimes it hits me how smart debbie is. like, i know she's smart, but people easily forget from all the chaos. at the heart of it, she's a fast learner and also would and have excelled academically.

11. What line/dialogue/description from something else (a poem, a book, a tv show, a movie, or something else) do you feel describes Ian and Mickey’s relationship?

aaaa @lingy910y beat me to it! it's totally "I'll take care of you. / It's rotten work. / Not to me. Not if it's you." but if i could pick another, maybe "I could recognize him by touch alone, by smell; I would know him blind, by the way his breaths came and his feet struck the earth. I would know him in death, at the end of the world."

12. What do you think is next for Ian and Mickey post-finale?

they'll grow old together and be just as in love, no matter what happens in between.

tagging @mybrainismelted, @scurvgirl, and @lupeloto if u wanna join!! raahh

[desultory-novice]

As fun as The Angst(tm) is, I really hope the Dead People Gang aren't just, like. Trapped in Turbohell Kirbohell forever. For some reason, my thoughts instantly went to Void Termina - Since Void Termina is implied to be reincarnated as a good guy after their defeat as Void, I thought it would be interesting if they got a glimpse of everyone hanging out in the afterlife between the "blowing up" part and coming back as not-as-evil. Plus, now I've got a really funny mental image of that coming up in casual conversation Kirby/Meta/Dedede/some other protagonist and Kirby finding out and deciding "sounds like more potential friends! time to go to hell" to try and (somehow) save them

My own brain was putting a Charlie & the Chocolate Factory style spin on it. They CAN all come back, just...

Sectonia: ...once the Dream Stalk goes to seed

Max: ...once his brain is finished defragging (...or see Seto Kaiba in the manga version of Yugioh)

Magolor: ...when someone succeeds in breaking the crown

Marx: ..."User 'Marx' can rejoin the game in 87,600 hours"

Links to the rest of the mini-series:

Part 1″A Beautiful Sunset” Part 2 “The Sun Never Sets” Part 3 “Screams of Joy”  Part 4 “Visitors” Part 5 “A Perfect Circle”

Relevant: “Conditional” [You Are Here]

--

That said, your bit at the end about "Let's go to hell and rescue everyone!" is partially why I followed this story to its current, silly (?) conclusion! I know it's sounded / looked / been depressing, especially for poor, poor, poor Magolor, but I meant what I said in the tags about drawing this helping me get over some of my own True Arena-induced trauma......

(continued below)

<PS: To the Anon who asked about the Void beach pic? Your answer is here too! Sorry to make you go through all this to find it!!>

...Ahem!

I -liked- the idea of Mags and Marx having come back from their Soul experiences and have used it as fuel, but it honestly bugged me that they seemed to survive when Sectonia and Marx were still MiA...from the same thing? (I get that Max's brain is DELETED but what about his body? I always imagined that even though Star Dream blew up, the "pilot's seat" so to speak was preserved. But...

Basically, even if I could come up with reasons why the other two "didn't" survive, I could never come up with a reason why Magolor and Marx DID outside of "popular characters." ...Not to be too hypocritical, as I'm a dedicated fan of said "popular characters")

But there being a version of Magolor Soul who doesn't "get better" weirdly makes me feel quite a bit better about the other Soul victims. Because... maybe we could be building up to something with them? Maybe there IS a chance for them to come back now, or be saved, like you said. If they're all kinda in the same way...??

(Heck, I probably would have added Galacta as a visitor to the superhell-theme park if I had ANY experience with drawing them.)

Speaking of "the same way" the reason I'd always assumed Marx followed the pre-remake Mago path because they were both in Star Allies, but if there's a version of Magolor who isn't saved, I've started to think that True Arena Marx Soul (:cough: the only form of Marx Soul :cough:) wasn't saved either. Which is both very sad but also, gives me the same sense of hope/unity as the above!

I had a legit "...aww, darn...!" moment last night as I was finishing this up when I realized Fecty's soul was safely under Efly's care and they wouldn't be able to join the theme park enjoyers... Of course, the very idea of an Attraction to delight and amaze would probably trigger Fecty's trauma, putting them in a worse state than Magolor.

Void's also not available to go to the park, sadly.

Speaking of...!

Here you go, anon!

[babyharleezy]

I got a request based off the song Price of Fame by Brent Faiyaz.

Let’s say Jack’s been with the reader for awhile now but he’s got everyone coming at him and saying how he needs to dump the reader because she doesn’t match his image ( she’s more nerdy and not into the spotlight ) and they tell her that she changes her image or Jack’s leaving her ( jack doesn’t know they told her this ) so they take her shopping ( anybody really maybe Neelam and Metta ) and the following day she dresses up all nice and shit and Jack loves it so the reader gets happy and buys more and more nice clothes but in time Jack sees that she isn’t happy or as comfortable in her clothes anymore like she use to be.

THE BIBLE VERSE 😭😭😭 I’m so sorry that’s literally so long

price of fame

bloo's notes: my number 1 hater requested this so i just had to do it for her 😻 i changed it up a bit, i hope you don’t mind!

tag list: @creme-delacreme @harlowcomehome @sealpuptrash @moody4world @thinkingaboutjharlow @harlowsbby @charli123456789 @lcandothisallday @mx-daisy @heavyhitterheaux

your relationship with jack wasn’t a secret, you were with him before the fame. he was always so grateful to have you since you were there from the beginning, he knew you were with him for him and not just his money or fame.

you and jack had so much in common. the two of you both enjoyed reading books on your downtime, but the whole world didn’t know that. the world didn’t see you like jack did. he loved how grounded you kept him, you were smart, beautiful, funny, the list could go on.

many people assumed that you and jack didn’t match each other’s energy. truth be told, the two of you were goofballs when around one another. head over heels in love with each other. but of course, the internet didn’t see what your close friends and family seen.

you couldn’t help but take the mean comments to heart. jack assured you that you didn’t need to change anything about yourself. these people didn’t know anything about you yet they disliked you.

but you knew that a change was needed. you wanted to match his persona a bit more. you knew he was a “nerd” but he didn’t look like one. you on the other hand were more relaxed on your outfits, you focused on comfort. cute but still comfy was your motto. so you mostly lived in jacks clothes and he didn’t mind one bit. he still thought you were the finest person he had ever laid his eyes on.

it seemed as if everywhere you looked, people were telling jack that he should leave you. or that you weren’t good enough for jack. you would be lying if you said that it didn’t cause a strain in your relationship sometimes.

one day you finally had enough of it, you called neelam and metta and asked if they could help you with a little makeover, jack had no idea. at first they were hesitant because they knew the hate comments had been at an all time high but they saw how excited you were and couldn’t not help you.

so after a few hours of shopping and meta and neelam helping you pick the perfect outfits out, you made your way home. since jack was taking you out to dinner, you decided it would be the perfect time to wear the tight fitted, short black dress. it left nothing to the imagination. you paired it with some black high heels, the complete opposite of your beat up air forces.

you made your way downstairs and met with jack. he looked at you, confusion written across his face.

“hey baby, you look beautiful. this is definitely new” he said, touching the tiny black dress.

“figured i would try something new, you like?” you said to the talk kentuckian standing in front of you. he wasn’t buying what you were selling. but he let it go for the time being.

“you always look stunning babe. no glasses?” he asked referring to the missing frames.

“i just decided to start wearing my contacts more” you said with a shrug.

your boyfriend of many years, didn’t understand why you decided to change your style so drastically, so fast.

he could tell that you were uncomfortable the entire night. you were pulling down on your tiny dress which stopped right at your ass. you knew that if you pulled down too much that you would have a nip slip but if you pulled up too much then your ass would be out on display. your shoes were also killing you. but you played it off as much as you could.

slowly but surely as some time went on, your style changed more and more. you wore clothes that showed off your curves and assets. jack never complained but he just knew you weren’t doing this for you.

one night he decided to confront you on it.

“baby can you come here please?” jack hollered from the kitchen. you happily made your way to the kitchen, wrapping your arms around his neck. jack picked you up and placed you on the island, you were sitting right in front of him, his body standing right in between your legs.

“what’s up babe? you okay?” you asked, brows furrowed.

“i’m good. but are you good?” he asked. you were confused now.

“yeahh i’m good? why?” confusion laced your voice.

“y/n what’s going on? why are you dressing different? i can tell this is out of your comfort zone” he asked, his voice softening.

“i thought you liked it? i was just trying something new” you said quietly, not making eye contact with him. now he knew you were lying.

“when did we start lying to each other?” jack asked.

you felt guilty now. “jack. i’m being serious. i just wanted to try something new” you huffed out, you were about to hop off the counter but jacks grip on your sides stopped you from moving.

you knew you had to tell him.

“fine. i was just feeling a little bad. i see all those comments about us. you deserve someone who fits you more. someone who looks like they belong with you. let’s be real, i don’t look like i belong with you.” you said, head hung low, tears threatening to spill out.

“oh baby, i knew something was up. i wish you would’ve told me about this sooner. i didn’t think this is why you were upset. i love you, i only have love for you. you are my girl, forever and always. i don’t care what people say about us. you and i are the same people. just because you don’t dress like all these instagram models doesn’t mean shit. you are the only person who fits with me. i love you y/n” jack said, placing a kiss on your lips.

at this point you were a hot mess, tears streaming down your face and everything.

“i love you jack, i just didn’t wanna sabotage your image or anything so i thought changing my appearance would help” you said.

“nahhh you’re fine a fuck even when you’re wearing my shirt and some of my sweats. especially when you’re wearing my clothes. makes me horny as hell” jack laughed out.

you couldn’t help but roll your eyes at his comment.

the hate comments were always gonna be there. it was the price of fame but jack would always be there to reassure that you are always gonna be his. no matter what.

[nebulize-my-mind]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

(I don't know anybody here, so nobody tagged me, I just thought it'd be fun, sorry if I've committed Tumblr crimes lol)

How many works do you have on AO3?

8! But if you don't count my original story snippet it's 7... but if you count my one fanfiction-dot-net-only fic that I've been too lazy (and slightly embarrassed bc it's old) to transfer over... it's 8 again lol

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

With my original story snippet: 16,705 Without my original story snippet: 15,047 And for fun... Including my fanfiction-dot-net-only fic but not original story snippet: 105,467 (lmao)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Oh boy here we go. Well. The fandoms I currently have fics posted for are Danny Phantom, Natsume's Book of Friends/Natsume Yuujinchou, Batfam/DCU (and does the Teen Titans animated show count as a different fandom or nah?), Spider-Man/Marvel, and Harry Potter. However. The fandoms I have fics for including unposted WIPs are as follows: Danny Phantom, Avatar: The Last Airbender, Ben 10, My Hero Academia/Boku no Hero Academia, Batfam/DC, The Morose Mononokean/Fukigen na Mononokean, Gravity Falls, Randy Cunningham: Ninth Grade Ninja, Star vs the Forces of Evil, The Magnus Archives, Spider-Man/Marvel, How to Train Your Dragon, Rise of the Guardians, Harry Potter, Natsume's Book of Friends/Natsume Yuujinchou, Sk8 the Infinity, Bungou Stray Dogs, Be More Chill (the musical), the Rick Riordan universe (Percy Jackson, etc.), and Big Hero 6.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

So I don't have a lot of fics actually posted and obviously I can't count the one that's only on fanfiction-dot-net so... 1) They Say Right, Let's Go Left (Batfam Titans Tower AU; 2,871 kudos as of 11/12/2023) 2) Skia Tou Myalou (Batfam Meta!Tim AU; 1,832 kudos as of 11/12/2023) 3) How To Summon A Halfa (Without A Ouija Board) (Danny Phantom 30-minute oneshot; 178 kudos as of 11/12/2023) 4) And Thus, I Repent (Danny Phantom/Teen Titans crossover preview posted for International Fanworks Day 2022 that still hasn't been updated; 144 kudos as of 11/12/2023) 5) What A Lovely View (Natsume's Book of Friends/The Morose Mononokean crossover oneshot for International Fanworks Day 2021; 74 kudos as of 11/12/2023)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

As much as I can! A lot of the time I'll respond to a lot of comments after I post the story but forget as time goes on lol. I appreciate them so much nonetheless! I'm always flabbergasted that someone took the time to tell me their thoughts and feelings about MY story, it's so cool. Gotta make sure they know how cool I think it is and they are!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Okay... so I haven't actually had any angsty endings per se, at least none that I've posted. Because of where the prologue chapter leaves things for Fractured (Danny Phantom/My Hero Academia) it's currently the most angsty thing I have posted, but I haven't posted anything past the prologue chapter and the story will get more lighthearted. I once accepted a request to write a major character death oneshot, but I never was satisfied or finished it. If I had, it would definitely be the most angsty. As for WIPs/unposted things... I have a "choose your ending" Tim Drake AU series in the works and the "bad ending" will be the most angsty ending I've ever written or planned once I get there.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Oh, most of what I write has happy endings, I'm honestly a hopeles romantic. I'd call on Skia Tou Myalou (Batfam, Meta!Tim AU) for that probably, mostly because half of They Say Right, Let's Go Left's (Batfam, Titans Tower AU) fluffy ending is in the author's note and also it's a oneshot. As for WIPs/unposted things... I have no idea lol.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

The only real hate I ever got was on my fanfiction-dot-net-only fic and I still don't know what the guy had against me other than being mad at my author's notes and that I was following a canon plotline... after I said that that's what this fic was going to do before branching out after I finished the rewrite. The positive feedback completely outweighed them though! Thanks to those folks!

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

NOPE. Not my thing, totally chill if it's yours. I am too sex-repulsed asexual for that lmao.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

ABSOLUTELY! You may not believe it from what I have posted (or actually maybe you will) but my main genre is crossovers, specifically involving dimension travel. I wouldn't call any of them particularly weird combinations honestly. Maybe What A Lovely View (Natsume's Book of Friends/The Morose Mononokean) or my WIP "Nanashi" (Danny Phantom/The Morose Mononokean) because of the more obscure fandoms.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Thankfully no, and I always make sure my fics are tagged where exactly I've reposted them under my own accounts so there's no misunderstandings.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not yet, that'd be the dream, wouldn't it?

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nah, I don't really have people I know in the fanfic community.

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

That sure does change monthly! Currently I'm vibing with Reki and Langa from Sk8 the Infinity, can't wait for the next season of that show!

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I have a couple of unposted WIPs that I call "cancelled" WIPs because I never plan on continuing them, it's mostly a couple Danny Phantom crossovers from my early days. As for posted things, work on Fractured (Danny Phantom/My Hero Academia) is actually trudging along pretty well even though I haven't posted anything, I had to completely reorganize the notes for it into a section of their own because they outgrew my standard page formatting! And Thus, I Repent (Danny Phantom/Teen Titans) is at a wall though I plan on continuing it eventually. What's really been getting me is my fanfiction-dot-net-only fic that's been going on since before it was first posted in 2019 but at a standstill since 2020 and the pandemic. I've really been struggling to get any work done on it, which sucks because it's my longest fic but it's also from the early days and I have a love-hate relationship with it and its fandoms.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Hesitantly... imagery? Scene description? I love writing a good, visceral chunk of text that makes you feel like you're there. It lands... sometimes lol

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Trying to develop relationships. Romantic, platonic, any. I have no idea how to pace these things or sometimes how to move them forward, I'm not a super social person and I don't have any experience in romantic relationships, so it's harder to pull from my own life. I'd love to get better though, and relationships are so important to writing and fun to see unfold.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I think it's fine as long as you're respectful of the language and culture. Like, the title of Skia Tou Myalou (Batfam, Meta!Tim AU) (sorry for the lack of accents, I don't have access to the right keyboard right now) is in Greek because the language is cool af, and I had a reader confirm it was correct. Some people get worked up specifically over including Japanese honorifics in anime fics sometimes, but I think it adds a lot of nuances to character relationships so as long as you do your research and apply them correctly and respectfully, I don't mind it at all. I personally prefer to do so when writing fics in anime fandoms where they're used for that extra level of attention and detail. Y'all have no idea how long I spend researching this stuff!

19. First fandom you wrote for?

This one was never posted and deleted way back when, but when I was in middle school I wrote a Percy Jackson and the Olympians OC oneshot lol

20. Favorite fic you've ever written?

Y'all trying to make me choose? Betrayal... and it changes every time I work on one lol. Currently I have a certain fondness for an unposted Bungou Stray Dogs Chuuya-joins-the-ADA-with-Dazai AU but my favorite posted is Skia Tou Myalou (Batfam, Meta!Tim AU). Sure it's a little eh in places but I love elemental-ish powers and Tim Drake is my favorite Batboy lol

[nevertheless-moving]

hi! following you for the time-travel discworld AU, but i'm notoriously bad at checking interesting tumblrs. are you planning on posting it to AO3 (where I could subscribe to updates)?

hello! I'm glad you like the au! I've been deeply enjoying peoples tags/comments. Sorry if it wasn't clear from the tags in the original post but I'm extremely unlikely to write this fic out in full, definitely not anytime in the near/imaginable future.

[I sometimes finish a post and just keep writing in the tags. Like someone still talking who's being politely but firmly ushered out of the bar so they just get louder. Check the tags of this au and others for full rants]

Very much enjoyed @linya333's complimentary description of 'telling a story like we're all sitting in the room with you' because my feeling of writing this one is very much 'yelling while slightly drunk about some crazy fucked up stuff that happened to some guy I know, can you believe this shit'

Other people are MORE than welcome to play with the idea.

I've got a couple of drafted scraps of meta for aspects of this au im unwell about, some funny chat style dialogue possibly missing key context from what would be a good 300 pages into Night Thud! , other misc debris but like. To answer your question - No, sorry, not really enough of a coherent whole to put on ao3. Feel free to check back whenever, im pretty good about tagging so you can just look up Nightwatch au and see what , if anything I've added. No promises! Time is an illusion and all that!

And hey if other people have thoughts for this au please tag me/ send an ask so I can reblog. :)

[battlekilt]

Fanwork creators self rec! When you get this, reply with your five favorite fics/art/podfics/etc. that you've made, then pass on to others. Let’s spread the self-love 🌼

From @anstarwar :}

Sorry to say, I don't really have five things to my name that are public. As you're aware, I've got a massive fic I'm working on that kind of has... slowed down my progression for churning out numerous pieces. Hopefully, it will be worth it—to someone.

The only thing I do have:

1. Aay'han—Mournful celebration: How ARC Troopers saved the galaxy

Rating: PG-13 Warning: Canon-typical deaths, just a tad prematurely. Tags: Jedi Order survives, Order 66 Happens Differently, Jedi meta, Clone meta, Force-sensitive Clones, GNC Clones Summary: Advanced Recon Commandos were the most, and the least, like Jango Fett. Prized for the very traits that also made Sidious so wary of them: their unpredictability, their independence, their intelligence— They were also… much more trained and diverse than their genetic Prime. This close to the conclusion of the thousand-year revenge of the Sith, he knew to keep track of them, particularly the Alpha-class Clones hidden among the regs. From far, far away, across their galaxy… they had come, and they had gathered. They had defended the Jedi Order, kept the Republic from its fall, and stopped the rise of an Empire. When it was over, they grieved similar to how they celebrated; they lived each day, for they knew they’d someday die. If Obi-Wan ever tried to explain to someone how a moment would be mournful & celebratory; the definition of aay'han—this was it.

What is this?

So, a modified Post-Order66 fic. It was a fic for a holiday exchange—caution being in exchanges with me, it might be excessive—intended to be based on some headcanons and crack ideas. Instead, it became massive and derived from a speculative thought I had. What if the ARC were the ones to save the day? Not a single one, but our skirted terrors. They were, after all, the only Clones who made Sidious a little... nervous.

Just the one?

However, I'll list four additional "don't count" things I've done that are on my tumblr. They are typically AUs or meta content I've written, but snippets and previews of public things to come. Warnings for typos, POV swapping, and just all around hot-mess of things because I didn't intend for them to become a thing. Yet, here they are.

2. Sometimes, you have to let go.

Part of my Little Troopers AU. It features Waxer & Boil being adopted by Numa's family, and Cody struggling with it.

3. Sons of the ocean.

Part of my Rexx AU, which WILL be published. This little snippet comes from a glimpse into their best. Features a gift art by the lovely @ninjigma. It depicts baby Sixty-seven (Rex) and Tintin (Fox) floating on water, holding their ickle hands like sea otters. (Read that in Ewan McGregor's voice, please.)

4. They're only babies.

Another one from my Little Troopers AU. This is from Obi-Wan's POV, when they are trying to track down all the regressed Clones on the Negotiator. Just so you know, he's absolutely NOT on the verge of a sobbing breakdown because there are TINY BABIES on a warship, and they've found in the worst places. Also, where's Cody. He isn't ready to gnaw on things until a specific Clone is found because, that found be favoritism, and that... implies attachment. Nope. Abso—Where's Cody?! SoMEONE FIND HIM CODY.