#So why does Disney get a pass?

[fullhalalalchemist]

URGENT: 🚨🚨EARN IT ACT IS BACK IN THE SENATE 🚨🚨 TUMBLR’S NSFW BAN HITTING THE ENTIRE INTERNET THIS SUMMER 2023

April 28, 2023

I’m so sorry for the long post but please please please pay attention and spread this

What is the EARN IT Act?

The EARN IT Act (s. 1207) has been roundly condemned by nearly every major LGBTQ+ advocacy and human rights organization in the country.

This is the third time the Senate has been trying to force this through, and I talked about it last year. It is a bill that claims "protects children and victims against CSAM" by creating an unelected and politically appointed national commission of law enforcement specialists to dictate "best practices" that websites all across the nation will be forced to follow. (Keep in mind, most websites in the world are created in the US, so this has global ramifications). These "best practices" would include killing encryption so that any law enforcement can scan and see every single message, dm, photo, cloud storage, data, and any website you have every so much as glanced at. Contrary to popular belief, no they actually can't already do that. These "best practices" also create new laws for "removing CSAM" online, leading to mass censorship of non-CSAM content like what happened to tumblr. Keep in mind that groups like NCOSE, an anti-LGBT hate group, will be allowed on this commission. If websites don't follow these best practices, they lose their Section 230 protections, leading to mass censorship either way.

Section 230 is foundational to modern online communications. It's the entire reason social media exists. It grants legal protection to users and websites, and says that websites aren't responsible for what users upload online unless it's criminal. Without Section 230, websites are at the mercy of whatever bullshit regulatory laws any and every US state passes. Imagine if Texas and Florida were allowed to say what you can and can't publish and access online. That is what will happen if EARN IT passes. (For context, Trump wanted to get rid of Section 230 because he knew it would lead to mass govt surveillance and censorship of minorities online.)

This is really not a drill. Anyone who makes or consume anything “adult” and LGBT online has to be prepared to fight Sen. Blumenthal’s EARN IT Act, brought back from the grave by a bipartisan consensus to destroy Section 230. If this bill passes, we’re going to see most, if not all, adult content and accounts removed from mainstream platforms. This will include anything related to LGBT content, including SFW fanfiction, for example. Youtube, Twitter, Reddit, Tiktok, Tumblr, all of them will be completely gutted of anything related to LGBT content, abortion healthcare, resources for victims of any type of abuse, etc. It is a right-wing fascists wet dream, which is why NCOSE is behind this bill and why another name for this bill is named in reference to NCOSE.

NCOSE used to be named Morality in Media, and has rebranded into an "anti-trafficking" organization. They are a hate group that has made millions off of being "against trafficking" while helping almost no victims and pushing for homophobic laws globally. They have successfully pushing the idea that any form of sexual expression, including talking about HEALTH, leads to sex trafficking. That's how SESTA passed. Their goal is to eliminate all sex, anything gay, and everything that goes against their idea of ‘God’ from the internet and hyper disney-fy and sanitize it. This is a highly coordinated attack on multiple fronts.

The EARN IT Act will lead to mass online censorship and surveillance. Platforms will be forced to scan their users’ communications and censor all sex-related content, including sex education, literally anything lgbt, transgender or non-binary education and support systems, aything related to abortion, and sex worker communication according to the ACLU. All this in the name of “protecting kids” and “fighting CSAM”, both of which the bill does nothing of the sort. In fact it makes fighting CSEM even harder.

EARN IT will open the way for politicians to define the category of “pornography" as they — or the lobbies that fund them — please. The same way that right-wing groups have successfully banned books about race and LGBT, are banning trans people from existing, all under the guise of protecting children from "grooming and exploitation", is how they will successfully censor the internet.

As long as state legislatures can tie in "fighting CSAM" to their bullshit laws, they can use EARN IT to censor and surveill whatever they want.

This is already a nightmare enough. But the bill also DESTROYS ENCRYPTION, you know, the thing protecting literally anyone or any govt entity from going into your private messages and emails and anything on your devices and spying on you.

This bill is going to finish what FOSTA/SESTA started. And that should terrify you.

Senator Blumenthal (Same guy who said ‘Facebook should ban finsta’) pushed this bill all of 2020, literally every activist (There were more than half a million signatures on this site opposing this act!) pushed hard to stop this bill. Now he brings it back, doesn’t show the text of the bill until hours later, and it’s WORSE. Instead of fixing literally anything in the bill that might actually protect kids online, Bluemnthal is hoping to fast track this and shove it through, hoping to get little media attention other than propaganda of “protecting kids” to support this shitty legislation that will harm kids. Blumental doesn't care about protecting anyone, and only wants his name in headlines.

It will make CSAM much much worse.

One of the many reasons this bill is so dangerous: It totally misunderstands how Section 230 works, and in doing so (as with FOSTA) it is likely to make the very real problem of CSAM worse, not better. Section 230 gives companies the flexibility to try different approaches to dealing with various content moderation challenges. It allows for greater and greater experimentation and adjustments as they learn what works – without fear of liability for any “failure.” Removing Section 230 protections does the opposite. It says if you do anything, you may face crippling legal liability. This actually makes companies less willing to do anything that involves trying to seek out, take down, and report CSAM because of the greatly increased liability that comes with admitting that there is CSAM on your platform to search for and deal with. This liability would allow anyone for any reason to sue any platform they want, suing smaller ones out of existence. Look at what is happening right now with book bans across the nation with far right groups. This is going to happen to the internet if this bill passes.

(Remember, the state department released a report in December 2021 recommending that the government crack down on “obscenity” as hard the Reagan Administration did. If this bill passes, it could easily go way beyond shit red states are currently trying. It is a goldmine for the fascist right that is currently in the middle of banning every book that talks about race and sexuality across the US.)

The reason these bills keep showing up is because there is this false lie spread by organizations like NCOSE that platforms do nothing about CSEM online. However, platforms are already liable for child sexual exploitation under federal law. Tech companies sent more than 45 million+ instances of CSAM to the DOJ in 2019 alone, most of which they declined to investigate. This shows that platforms are actually doing everything in their power already to stop CSEM by following already existing laws. The Earn It Act includes zero resources for proven investigation or prevention programs. If Senator Bluementhal actually cared about protecting youth, why wouldn’t he include anything to actually protect them in his shitty horrible bill? EARN IT is actually likely to make prosecuting child molesters more difficult since evidence collected this way likely violates the Fourth Amendment and would be inadmissible in court.

I don’t know why so many Senators are eager to cosponsor the “make child pornography worse” bill, but here we are.

HOW TO FIGHT BACK

EARN IT Act was introduced just two weeks ago and is already being fast-tracked. It will be marked up the week of May 1st and head to the Senate floor immediately after. If there is no loud and consistent opposition, it will be law by JUNE! Most bills never go to markup, so this means they are putting pressure to move this through. There are already 20 co-sponsors, a fifth of the entire Senate. This is an uphill battle and it is very much all hands on deck.

CALL YOUR REPRESENTATIVES.

This website takes you to your Senator / House members contact info. EMAIL, MESSAGE, SEND LETTERS, CALL CALL CALL CALL CALL. Calling is the BEST way to get a message through. Get your family and friends to send calls too. This is literally the end of free speech online.

(202) 224-3121 connects you to the congressional hotline. Here is a call script if you don't know what to say. Call them every day. Even on the weekends, leaving voicemails are fine.

2. Sign these petitions!

Link to Petition 1

Link to Petition 2

3. SPREAD THE WORD ONLINE

If you have any social media, spread this online. One of the best ways we fought back against this last year was MASSIVE spread online. Tiktok, reddit, twitter, discord, whatever means you have at least mention it. We could see most social media die out by this fall if we don't fight back.

Here is a linktree with more information on this bill including a masterpost of articles, the links to petitions, and the call script.

DISCORD LINK IF YOU WANT TO HELP FIGHT IT

TLDR: The EARN IT Act will lead to online censorship of any and all adult & lgbt content across the entire internet, open the floodgates to mass surveillance the likes which we haven’t seen before, lead to much more CSEM being distributed online, and destroy encryption. Call 202-224-3121 to connect to your house and senate representative and tell them to VOTE NO on this bill that does not protect anyone and harms everyone.

[crazy-pages]

I'm going to throw my two cents in to the conversation about why James Somerton didn't get caught earlier. Part of the answer is of course that he did get caught, he just bullied and lied to get away with it for a while, but I know a lot of people still express confusion. And of course he went out of his way to make sure his audience didn't know about other queer history sources other than himself. But still. How could he have so many viewers of his videos and none of them had seen X source material?

Well. To be blunt, most of his videos were pretty basic. He tended to copy the highlights of what he was plagiarizing, not the really advanced stuff. And insofar as he copied the advanced stuff, he had a tendency to chop it up and serve it out of context alongside other plagiarized work. The material he was presenting was revolutionary to an audience unfamiliar with queer history, but like. I'm guessing 'Disney villains are queer coded' is not exactly a new concept to the kind of people who read multiple books about queer coding in film.

Now I'm not a film studies person, I'm a physicist. But you know what I do when I get a video in my YouTube recommendations about some fairly basic physics concept?

I skip it. No shade to the creator, but like. I hit that topic a decade ago and I've added literally thousands of hours of studying and research to my brain since. I'm just going to give it a pass, all right?

These kinds of videos self-select for an audience which isn't going to be familiar with the source material. The people who know it are unlikely to keep listening after the first minute or so.

And you've got to remember how much of this content the experts have consumed! With very few exceptions for weird little things that stuck in my head after all these years, I would probably not notice a physics explanation plagiarized from one of my textbooks! Not because I wasn't intimately acquainted with the textbook, but because I was intimately acquainted with many such textbooks. Spend enough time learning this stuff and it all blurs together a little bit. Does this explanation sound familiar because you've heard it before, or because you've just read books which cover this specific topic seven different times? And does that wording or that example ring a bell because it's plagiarized, or because it's common to the field?

Catching this kind of plagiarism requires having the kind of people who are already familiar with these sources, and therefore uninterested in video summaries on the topic, to watch the video. And among those people who do, it requires them to match Somerton's words to one specific source on the topic out of many, that they probably read quite some time ago. And then you have the filter of how many of those subject matter experts have the source on hand to check, to turn a vague "...hmm" into something solid.

If you know enough about queer history to say that some of his plagiarism was obvious, now that you've watched the video, then you should remember that there is a reason you probably weren't one of the people watching his videos! And because YouTube promotes videos through algorithmic engagement, none of this stuff has to pass the sniff test for any other expert in the field before it gets released. No experts have to like it for it to get published or for it to get good reviews or for it to get a recommendation in, I don't know, the New York Times.

The only people who have to like the videos for them to get traction are people who are just trying to learn introductory queer history and film theory. The exact people who aren't going to notice this. And for those of you who to whom it is obvious, ask yourself. When was the last time you watched a basic level queer history introduction on YouTube?

[slashingdisneypasta]

Hades x Reader || Drabble

Plot: He's a villain; So you would- could never, ever fall in love with him.

'Sooner or later you're gonna want it. And the second- the second that happens, you know I'll sup in; have myself a real good day.' - Spike, Buffy the Vampire Slayer

... But he'll still wait patiently, for you.

Warnings: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Mischaracterisation?

Tagging: @asperol-with-izzy , @disney-android-foundation , @lady-love88 , @marinerainbow , @miss_understood , and @yesthetrashbin .

The instant that you see the villain in your house, waiting for you again lounging on your bed, smoke spread all over the floor; you groan. "Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh- "

Hades only shows a flicker or irritation by your obnoxiously drawn-out moan, before its snuffed out with a roll of his shoulders and he gets up from your bed. Now his head grazes the ceiling but he comes here so often, asking you on walks with him and bringing you dinner you couldn't have scrounged for yourself with a weeks pay despite how many time's you've told him no, never, so you're past the fear of him setting the house on fire. His yellow eyes glow in the dim room and, like always, it causes a little warmth to spready in the pit of your belly- you ignore it. "Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll be gone in a sec, okay babe? I got places to be today, anyway. Just gimmie a minute, here."

"Why should I?"

"Uh- " This time real frustration passes over his face; settling for a few moments as he speaks. "Well you don't have that much of a choice, doya babe? So just shut up and listen, eh?"

Not-at-all scared, you just roll your eyes, setting your basket down on the side table and crossing your arms impatiently over your chest. "Fine. What do you want? I don't see any exotic fruits... another walk?"

Here, a smirk slips over his mouth; The flames atop his head give a happy crackle, and he gently shakes his head. "Not this time. Unless, I mean- you want to?? I can reschedule my meeting with the Fates, if you- " When he reads your expression, a familiar and cold 'hell no' written all over it, he sighs. Disappointed, but... not surprised at all, anymore. "Right. Right- uh, look babe. I just came here to let ya know, I... "

Hades? Lost for words?? That almost concerns you. Almost makes you lower your freezing cold exterior, and ask- ... but no. No. Instead, you tighten your arms over your chest and increase the impatient, expectant look in your eyes. Like, hurry up.

"... Okay. Look. I like you, (Full name). I might even go so far as to say I'm fallin' for ya- and thats new to me. I'm lost in some really unfamiliar waters, here," He chuckles, nervously, looking truly out of his depth for a moment. "Thats never happened to me before, this is new, and I- I- I'm tryin' to do it right. Sweep you off your feet; all that romantic jazz. Which I honestly think is kinda psychotic-... But uh... " His eyes lift from somewhere on the ground to your left, up to your eyes and he gives you another half-smirk. "I think we both know its not my thing."

... breaking your silence for a moment, you give a little tiny nod; not sure where this is going. "We do." You say quietly.

"Yea. Well, between you and me- its not workin' as well as you'd think, is it?"

"... no."

"Right, so," He rolls those broad shoulders again, giving his neck an uncomfortable stretch. "I'm uh- I'm gonna stop trying."

That gives you pause. " -What??"

"-not that I'm done here, exactly, no no no. I don't give up so easy, sweetheart. I'm gonna be here, or well- around. Waiting. And some day if... And someday when, you decide ya want me, then I'll come for ya. Just call."

Eyebrows furrowing, you suddenly remember something Hades said earlier. You'd almost forgotten it, because it seemed unimportant before, but now seems significant. "... Why are you going to meet with the fates?" Does he... know something? Is going to ask something?? What-

He just grins, infuriatingly. And his body begins to disappear into smoke, and your eyes widen- because- wait! "Remember what I just told you, babe. Keep it in mind, mull it over. I got nothin but time and I don't mind using it waiting on you. You're kinda worth it, eh?" -He didn't answer your question!

"But!- "

"Lookin' forward to your call, sweetheart."

"I'm not gonna call!- "

"Uhuh."

[classypauli]

Hello! Can you make a one shot of Jenna x Fem!reader inspired by the song "Why did you invite me to your wedding?" By Kevin Atwater

jenna ortega x fem!reader

an: heyy long time no see haha *rubbing neck* I wanted to spoil you with something for not writing in such a long time. I have some requests in my Inbox so Imma do them! Also if you are interested in something or got a idea for some one shot-text me. I missed you all.

Dear Anonymous, hope you like it and sorry for making it after such a long time! Thank you for request. Enjoy.

Sorry for mistakes…

I got your message last night around 1:00

You're getting married and you want me to come

You and Jenna have known each other for a long time. You remember how her child-like smile was the first thing you saw on a set. That was far in the past when the both of you were filming for Disney Channel.

Your paths crossed a couple of times at the casting of the movies or some events. Besides that, you didn´t forget to text each other prayers and congrats on the achievements in your lives.

Good friends. That´s what you would call it. But you knew there was something more, just a little bit different than friends. Or maybe you just really wanted it to be like that.

It was hard for you to find the right path in your life and let people in your life. But Jenna no, she was like a family, like a person that should be with you like she needed to be with you.

And you got a feeling she knew that. But only got the feeling.

You miss me a lot and the wedding's next month

I think you were drunk, you spelled "wedding" wrong

You stared at the text like someone just spilled dead water over you. Jenna didn´t like sharing her private life, she enjoyed keeping it to herself and her family. It was no one's business what was happening in her life and she felt more safe that way. The actress told you that a couple of times already, also telling you that you are one of them with stars in her eyes.

I used to break wishbones and pray that you liked me

And went to away games to pretend I liked fighting

You remember how her face was the only thing you could see when you closed your eyes or how she was instantly in your head when you blew out candles on your birthday cakes. How your cheeks have hurt from all of the smiling when she was by your side.

You'd scan the crowd for my face with your eyes

Maybe I was in love or you were just nice

And how could you not when all the things that she did were giving you hope? Like when you were invited to her family dinner and how she was covering her face every time one of her family members said something embarrassing. Or like when every time she saw you she gave you her biggest hug.

How every time you were with your friends and you all laughed both of your eyes met. How she was sending you new songs that were reminding her of you. Or like when you dropped her off at her house and she squeezed your hand two times with a small smile on her face.

Mmm a rush kinda like the old times

After all of these years, I still cross your mind

With the upcoming work and movies, Jenna slowly drowns herself. You were worried about her mental and physical health. You knew she was a strong person but you also knew what does this job with people.

And slowly the both of you got away from each other. Suddenly you knew nothing about her. You didn´t know how she was how she felt or how is her family and if is everything okay at work. If she gets along with her co-stars or if she eats how she should be. What she´s doing through the day or if she found someone she loves.

Or maybe you thought you'd reach out to be nice

But why'd you invitе me in the middle of the night?

You don't know how much time passed since you last saw her and you didn´t know if you wanted to know it. It would only hurt you more than it should. You closed your heart and gave your soul to work. You were fully focused on your professional life and making a good name for yourself. That´s what you were telling yourself but somewhere deep down you knew where the truth lies.

Do you remember when you thought your dad was dying?

I ran to your house in the middle of the night.

You closed your eyes at the memory of when Jenna called you about her being scared something serious happened. You ran to her hotel room still in your pajamas only a hoodie over you and with phone in your hand.

The rush you felt caused you to forget the card in your room inside. You were holding her tight in your arms trying to calm her nerves down.

The second she got a text from her mom her face changed. All of her muscles got soft and her head fell on your shoulder. You looked down at her and found her gently looking up at you.

Was that the right time? You didn´t know but at that time it felt like it.

So you kissed her.

When you found out he wasn't, caught in the moment

I kissed you and then you got quiet

You never talked about that. You acted like it never happened. You were glad that didn´t change but on the other side, you suffered from not knowing how she felt about it and what was in her mind.

You could've hurt me, it would've been easy

We were at that age where boys started being mean to be mean

Kind. That´s the word you would describe her as. And maybe that´s why you loved her. Jenna was the sweetest and the most humble person you know and you felt proud that you were close to her.

You knew you could rely on her and that she would be by your side in whatever situation you would be put into.

But you took my hand and asked me to dance

To nothing and never brought it up again

Jenna gave you her full attention every time you were in the same room. The second you stepped into the room you felt her eyes, you weren´t paranoid. You knew how hot her gaze was when your eyes met like your whole body was on fire.

But then again, why did she choose the road that would separate you?

Mmm if I saw you what would I say?

Would we act like we can't see that nothing's the same?

You remember that one time when you talked about the far future. Laughing about how many kids you would be able to raise or where you would live. Jenna told you that her wedding would be private. Just for her family and close friends. She wouldn´t want the whole world to know about it.

Jenna didn´t need everyone´s attention, she just wanted to live in her ľlittle world. And you wanted to be in it so bad.

We used to make fun of kids marrying young

But it's not as funny when it's someone you loved

Your hand kept holding your phone tight as if you were trying to make sure it wasn´t just your imagination.

How bad you wanted it to be a nightmare right now. How bad do you want her to text you right after that she´s joking and she misses you like you do. It never came.

Your mind became numb and the phone fell from your hand. You fell back onto your bed and just stared into the darkness. Until you close your eyes and your first tear slides down your cheek.

Mmm I wanna call you with a hand in my pants

And let you say drunk little things you'll regret

The thoughts about who she found and how she met them were running through your head. Were they better than you? Will they love her more than you?

You didn´t know if you wanted the answer to that.

You wanted to text her back so much that it didn´t matter what was the point of that text. If that was the thing that would bring her to you, just for a second, you would sacrifice. You would pretend that you feel happy for her just to talk to her a bit more.

But I'd just be the reason that somebody cries

But then why'd you invite me in the middle of the night?

What would it feel like? Sitting there waiting for bride to come with a wide smile and a hard beating heart. With nice clothes on tears in your eyes, with happiness running inside your chest. Waiting for her with nerves all around the place, excited about how she will look.

Only for her to come from behind the corner with the biggest smile and happy eyes just not to stand next to you.

I'll never know why

Cause I'll never reply

So you can just stay nice

In the back of my mind.

You never texted her back.

[venusacrossthestars]

barbies

Pairings- Dad!Daniel x Mom! Reader

WC-1.1k

Summary- Daniel does in fact not know how to play Barbies

f1 masterlist

A/N- anytime I can slander Tika I will. IYKYK

Daniel had thought that he had the whole girl-dad thing down. He knew how to act during tea parties. He knew not to move during makeovers. He would sing, albeit terribly, during the Princes part of Disney song just so his little girl could focus on singing the Princesses part. He thought he had it all down, but there was one thing he couldn’t master for the life of him- playing Barbies. 

Everytime Charlotte asked him to play it always ended in frustration for both parties. It seemed that no matter what he did it was always wrong. On one occasion he had Robert, the Ken doll that was affectionately renamed, and Charlotte her Barbie- Margot.

 Daniel was laying on the floor, acting his part believing all was well. “Well don’t you look radiant today darling,” he said as he walked Robert into the Dreamhouse. 

This was all it took to set off the six year old, “No daddy! Robert doesn’t call Margot ‘darling’ he calls her babe and Margot calls him honey.” 

“Well why can’t he call her darling?” Daniel, genuinely curious as to why it mattered. 

“Because you always call mommy babe and she always calls you honey,” she stated it as the most obvious fact in the world. 

Daniel found it adorable that your daughter took notice of something as small as pet names and integrated it into her own little world. However, she wasn’t amused. “Daddy, you don’t have to play anymore, I can play by myself now.” She said, taking Robert out of Daniels hand. He didn’t have the courage to argue, knowing how particular she was when it came to playing with her Barbies. 

Later that night, long after Charlotte had gone to bed, the two of you sat in bed watching reruns of your favorite show. 

“Your daughter is very picky about her pet names for her Barbies,” Daniel tells you, remembering the incident that happened earlier. 

“Oh, is that so?” 

“Very much so, Robert only calls Margot ‘babe’ and she only calls him ‘honey’, and you want to know what she told me?” You hum in curiosity, Daniel continues, “its because those are the pet names we call each other. She then proceeded to relieve me of my Barbie duties.”

“As she should, playing Barbies is very serious business.” You tease back. “I was the same way.” 

“Why is it so hard to play dolls,” Daniel buries his head into his pillow. 

“Don’t worry honey,” you rub his back in soothing circles, “maybe one day you’ll get the hang of it.” 

“You never have problems when you play with her.” 

“You forget that I was a little girl once.” 

Every time Daniel, in his words, fucked up playing Barbies he noticed that Charlotte wouldn’t ask him to play dolls with her for a couple days. He didn’t want to sound childish, but it did in fact hurt his feelings. 

As usual, days passed before Charlotte asked him to play again. And as usual Daniel had somehow screwed up, but this was no ordinary screw up, this was monumental. He didn’t even know what he did wrong, things were going so well until they weren’t. 

“Mommy!” The little girl yelled, “mommy!” 

“What?!” Your voice carried throughout the house. 

“Daddy isn’t playing Barbies right.” She whined. 

In a matter of seconds you appeared in the doorframe, arms crossed over your chest, “what’s going on?” 

“I have no idea,” Daniel admits, “we’re sitting here and all of the sudden I’m not doing it right.” 

“Charlotte, baby, remember what I told you?” you remind your daughter. 

She nods in response, “I’m sorry daddy, I know you don’t know how to play Barbies.” 

Daniel looks flabbergasted at what his daughter has just said to him and looks at you through squinted eyes. “You told her I don’t know how to play Barbies?” 

“No, I told her you don’t know how to play the real version of Barbies, you think you know how to, but in reality you play the straight man way.” 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” 

“Baby, how about you and me show daddy how we play Barbies?” You ask your daughter, whose face lights up in excitement. She gets up and hurries over to her bin of Barbies to pull out your designated Barbie, Lisa. 

You move into the room and sit next to Daniel, “watch and learn from the master.” 

The three of begin to play and Daniel thinks all is normal, you are doing everything that he typically does, but things quickly take a turn. 

You walk up Lisa to Robert, “Hiiiii Robert, you look good today.” 

Charlotte, well Margot, quickly interrupts, “why are you talking to my man?” Daniels eyes widen, where did she learn this from?

“I was just giving him a compliment Marggie.”

Charlotte shakes Margot in faux rage, “how many times do I have to tell you that my name is Margot.” 

“Well I think its just the cutest nickname, don’t you Robbie?” You turn Lisa’s attention to the Ken doll Daniel is holding. Daniel doesn’t move or say anything. 

“Are you going to let her talk to me like that Robert?” His daughter- no- Margot questions. 

“See he agrees with me,” you move the dolls hand so it is now resting on Roberts shoulder.

This proceeds to set your daughter off. “I have had it with you and your flirting towards my boyfriend!” 

“Well what are you going to do about it?” You taunt. 

“I’ll show you what!” Charlotte exclaims and then lunges towards you and Lisa. 

Daniel just sits in shock, the noise of plastic colliding, your mock ow’s between giggles, and Charlotte’s laughter fills his ears. When he thought of Barbies he always thought of dressing up dolls, making little families, all that soft stuff. Not this. 

“You alright over there honey?” You ask your husband, who just continues to stare in disbelief  “Charlotte I think we broke your father.”

“I’ve never seen anyone play Barbies like this.” 

“Well this is how I’ve always played, but my mom did say once that I played…. Uniquely,” you shrug. 

“That was fun!” Charlotte exclaims, throwing herself into your arms. 

You cradle her close to your chest, “I’m glad, did you learn anything?” 

“Yeah,” Daniel responds, “that I truly know nothing about playing barbies.”

“This is mild compared to the scenarios I made up,” you admit. 

“This. Mild? What did you do to your dolls woman?” 

“I’m not telling you with such influenceable ears around.” 

“My God,” is all Daniel can manage out. 

“Hey, don’t judge me.” 

“I’m just rethinking my life choices.” 

“You asked me to marry you, you knew fully well what you were getting yourself into.” 

“Mommy?” Charlotte interjects, “can we watch one of those old barbie movies?” 

You groan. “They aren’t even that old!” You exclaim. “Which one did you want to watch?”

“The Island Princess one!” 

At that Daniel groans, “that’s the one with the annoying elephant isn’t it?”

taglist- crossed out names mean I couldn't tag you

@arieslost @miaa1001 @babybadger @k3nmakyan @livelovesports @aspens-trees @yeetskeetstreet @racingheartsposts @emmma232 @isalovestaylor @imchiarashelby1 @m4dyi @melissayalene-blog @gothicwidowsworld @lizzieolsenfan86 @firestormsandlightning @erjn45 @evelyn-4034 @vkncgzxf @naaanasworld @ladyoflynx @bre99 @foulsongfest @teenagedramqueen @kstyles-06 @asparklysoul @kodzzukenn @snakelore @lochnoch @hhppw7 @whentheautumnleavesfall @gxuh @clarasmagic @xoxonoire @annahowardsworld @estellabookreader @user2604 @babysitter19 @dylan-obrienn24 @sadisticfries @cocote1410 @prettylittlels @itsbwokenln4 @amandaauroraelli @wargetter @happylittlereader @2502zena @bathedinheat @itsmeeluciie @olivyamarvelgirl @justtprachisblog @its-cat-eyes @embonbon @nickxcorpse @accnt-1 @cosmoscoffeee @phantomxoxo @caramelahamilton @inejismylife @iloved111lfs @caseket @selsbackyard @alex0808 @blueberrysmoothie673 @sergantbarnesbitch @a-disturbing-self-reflection @bethiebeth12 @thereisa8ella @giada-chan @slaygirlbossworld @chuchiestpt

[adventuringblind]

Misheard, Misjudged

Lando Norris x Leclerc Reader

Genre: Angst with a pinch of spice

Summary: Lando overhears a conversation and thinks it’s about him

Warnings: Lando’s self-esteem plummets

Notes: I’m aware I have things to do but I’m doing a friend a favor

Masterlist

Lando and the little Leclerc are everybody’s favorite couple. He clings to her every second of every day and she gets livid when her brother call her little. Younger then Arthur by a minute and she never hears the end of it.

Their families love them, the fans love them, but most importantly is that they love each other.

They met when Arthur started racing again. She was bored without her partner in crime, so Charles took her on as is social media manager. Needles to say they banter a lot. Charles’ fashion choices are horrendous at times but she loves him nonetheless.

Charles teases them all the time about how they are practically glued together. Which is probably true, considering they are like magnets in the paddock.

So in Lando’s head, it makes no sense why she would say such things about him. In their home. With her friends.

‘Sure he’s good looking, but like - is there really anything else? He’s so childish and whines like a bitch. Also, have you seen how clingy he is?”

He couldn’t listen anymore after that. Is he really that clingy? And for all intensive purposes, isn’t she also clingy? He never thought it was that bad. Sure, people tease, but who cares what they think? Or, maybe he’s just overthinking and he should just ask about it.

Scratch that - a terrible plan. Instead he shall withdrawal himself and see if it makes her happier.

The first week she looks confused and a little hurt by his actions, but she doesn’t say anything. No more initiated physical contact. No random hugs and kisses. He doesn’t cling to her during the race weekend like normal.

See! He isn’t cling! if anything, she’s definitely the more clingy one out of the two.

Week two hurt more then the first. He catches snippets of a few phone calls between her and Charles. She’s locked in the bathroom and her voice is cracking. “I don’t understand what I did, Charlie.”

Doesn’t understand what she did? You can’t just say things about a person and expect everything to be okay after. Why doesn’t she talk to him about it? If she wanted more space he would’ve just rather have talked about it then have overheard the love of his life shattering his heart into pieces.

He turns her back to her in bed starting week three. She looks tired over the next few days. Not just yawning, but the dark circles under red eyes screams that something is wrong.

she starts leaving sticky notes on his things, on the counters, the insides of cabinets, and even plastered all over thee mirror.

He ignores them. Yet his mind starts to wonder if maybe he should just ask her why. But it’s not like she talked to him, so why she he talk to her now?

He wonders again when he catches Max glaring at him.

And again when Oscar grows concerned.

And then when George gives a PowerPoint presentation with how to communicate properly.

Yeah, ok - so this wasn’t the right way to go about this. He really wishes George and his stupid PowerPoint had come earlier.

The icing on the cake is when he comes home one day and passes Charles as he’s leaving. He doesn’t look happy at all, and honestly, Lando can’t blame him.

He goes straight to bed, face buried in the pillow. Limbs tossed dramatically like a Disney princess in despair.

“Lando?” Her small voice shreds every ounce of strength he has left. She sits on the bed beside him. He doesn’t look up and she sighs heavily. “Please talk to me.”

When he does finally look at her. Truly, for the first time in months, he sees just how broken she looks.

“What’s there to talk about?” He curses himself and his tone because she flinches away at it.

“Why are you avoiding me? I don’t understand what I did…”

He scoffs. “Don’t know what you did? Last month at your little get together? Calling me a clingy whiny bitch behind my back?” He chokes on the last part.

She looks at him, head tilted in confusion. The same look she gives when he’s trying to read directions. Confused, loving, patient. Why is she smiling?

“You didn’t hear the beginning of that did you?”

“No.” He pouts.

“Lando, love, light of my life - that was about Charles.”

His entire body freezes. It’s true that her friends like Charles and she hates when the fawn over him. Oh, he’s been an idiot. An Absolute asshole.

“I’m so sorry.” He throws himself at her and every ounce of anxiety over the past month is washed away as soon as her fingertips touch his skin.

“Charles is terribly clingy to everybody and he’s my brother. Of course he’s a whiny bitch in my eyes.” He would respond but his brain is mush at her hands in his hair.

“I just got so in my head. I’m so sorry I didn’t talk to you - George gave me the whole lecture about proper communication.”

“I Know. He said you were hopeless.”

“How encouraging of him.”

Lando pulls her on top of him. Her warmth, her skin, her full body weight is everything he ever needs to survive.

“I can’t believe you’re smiling at me.”

“I’m mad at you, but maybe we can make up.” She raises her eyes suggestively.

“I think I can make that happen.”

[violentdelightsandviolentends]

Hi! Im not sure, feel free to completely ignore! But I love your writing and I saw this tiktok and it made me think about reader being exited for trick or treat but not a lot of kids come by so Bucky does something special? Or they go out to give out candy?

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMjtSWwmp/

Thank you so much in advance if you decide to write something related to this!

Have a nice day/night

Trick or Treat.

Pairing - Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

Warnings - none!! just bucky being a sweetheart in love

Word Count - under 1k

Author's Note - thank you for this request, it's so lovely!! seeing as we've just passed halloween, thought i'd write something short and sweet. hope you enjoy.

Masterlist. Inbox.

You've been sat on your front steps for hours.

Bowl of candy in hand, goodie bags made up, decorations hung and ready. You've always loved Halloween, for as long as you can remember. Now you're older, the highlight is getting to see all the neighbourhood kids dressed up as they trick or treat.

Not this year. You and Bucky moved apartments last year, and you were ridiculously excited to get to give out candy on your new block. Turns out, no one really passes by your place.

"Baby," comes a voice from the front door behind you. "You're gonna catch your death. It's freezing."

Bucky sits down next to you, wrapping a blanket around your shoulders and pulling you into his side.

"You wanna come inside? We can watch those old Disney Halloween movies you love."

You rest your head on his shoulder, revelling in his warmth.

"Not yet, Buck. Just gonna wait a little longer."

It's breaking his heart seeing you so defeated. You've been looking forward to the holiday for weeks, and it certainly hasn't turned out the way either of you hoped.

"Do you think there just aren't any kids around here? I've literally seen none."

"I don't know, baby. I'm just as confused as you are."

He presses a kiss to the top of your head, arms tightening around you.

He is confused. In your old apartment, you'd have dozens of kids come by, eager for candy and the cookies you'd make. You and Bucky would sit out on the front steps and give out goodie bags for hours, striking up conversations with parents and celebrating all of the costumes.

"Maybe we should go inside," you say quietly, starting to shiver. "We'll have to ask Sam tomorrow if he got any trick or treaters. Maybe it's going out of style."

Sam.

Bucky has a sudden eureka moment, jumping up from his spot next to you.

"Wait here, baby. One minute."

He runs inside, leaving you disorientated on the steps. He's back within thirty seconds, your bag in his hand.

"Come on. We're going out."

"Where?"

"It's a surprise. You'll see."

You pile into the car as Bucky loads all the candy into the trunk, trying to be as subtle as possible. He climbs in and presses a kiss to your knuckles before holding your hand for the entire journey, humming along to the radio as he drives.

You suddenly begin to recognise your whereabouts, more confused than ever.

"Why are we in Sam's neighbourhood, Buck?"

He winks.

"You'll see."

As soon as you pull up to Sam's house, he's striding out of the front door and towards you.

"Thank God you're here. I can't do it anymore. Why didn't we just do this in the first place?"

"Do what?"

"I remember Sam telling me about the, quote on quote, 'obscene amount of trick or treaters' that he gets at his house every year. And he hates Halloween -"

"It's true!" Sam interjects.

"- so I thought you could save him from his misery, and you get to give out candy like you wanted."

You're grinning at him from ear to ear, practically bouncing on the soles of your feet.

"You're a genius," you whisper, leaning up to press your lips to his softly. "I love you."

"I love you too," he smiles, stealing another kiss or four.

"I'm gonna head upstairs and watch the football game. You guys have fun out here!"

Sam throws you a thumbs up before retreating inside, closing the door behind him. You and Bucky bring all of your goodies from the car and set up on the porch, ready and waiting.

Before you know it, there are dozens of groups of kids on the street, all of them adorned in spooky costumes. They practically skip up the pathway towards you, excited and giddy.

"Trick or treat!"

"Woah, you're all super scary... I like your makeup! And your wig! Hey, your shirt is super cool!"

You're placing candy in their bags, so you can't see Bucky beaming behind you, light radiating off of him in all directions.

He'd find a way make it Halloween everyday if it meant he could see you smile like this.

[koolades-world]

More Obey me! Headcannons

had so much fun last time I wanted to do it again

Satan is so smart, but has issues doing basic math and refuses to admit it, like he can’t figure out fifteen plus seven without his fingers or a calculator (is this me projecting? maybe)

Belphie bought himself and Mc matching house slippers. Mc thought Beel felt left out and made Belphie buy a pair for him too

Beel has a huge green thumb, and takes upon himself to save plants he thinks are sad or lonely. He buys the dying plants from the store to bring back to life (partially inspired by the chat where someone, forgot who, told beel that if he talked to plants they would grow faster my precious baby)

Lucifer is the best cook at the HoL, but rarely has time to cook. Beel is the second best but usually eats the ingredients before he can make anything with them. Mammon is probably the worst because Levi can make food from animes almost perfectly

Asmo once almost set a store he was collaborating with on fire with his rage alone because they spelt his name wrong

Beel probably needs a new toothbrush every couple weeks. Belphie probably gets toothbrushes mixed up and uses ones that aren’t his

Lucifer and Solomon like prune juice haha old men

The one thing Luke and Simeon have seriously disagreed on is if raisins belong in dessert. Michael likes them, so Luke does too. Simeon thinks they’re awful but never directly says it, so Lucifer usually says it for him

Despite always being online, Levi had not once checked his RAD email. He has 9,999+ emails, probably a lot more because 9,999 is where it stops counting

Mammon collects cool rocks and keeps them in a box under his bed

Satan’s hands are always freezing, so he sticks them under Mc (or a cat) when possible, or uses a charmed hot water bottle from Solomon that stays warm for days at a time

Solomon and Asmo have had matching bracelet sets for as long as they’ve known each other, and since they didn’t make them anymore, they got some custom done for Mc so they could also have them

For about 1,000 years, Thirteen though jelly beans were an actual kind of bean and Solomon never let her let it go

The first food Mc and Mammon ate on a date in the human world together was Taiyaki, so he made it a point to learn how to make them to surprise Mc (even though he’s a terrible cook) (I might make this a fic since I like this idea so much)

Diavolo has always wanted a Devildom version of a hamster but Barbatos refused to have any kind of rodent in the castle, rat or not

Luke probably downloads those stupid app games with the ads unironically

Satan’s favorite Disney Princess is Ariel because she ran off to do what she wanted without caring what her father thought, it’s giving daddy issues. He’s probably considered running off and marrying Mephisto to make Lucifer angry

Raphael unironically enjoys off brand chips and soda

Lucifer is a nail biter, and Asmo is helping him curve the habit by putting a nasty tasting top coat when he does his nails, and it’s also why he wears gloves all the time.

Belphie and Satan once went up to the humans world together to mess with people in Salem, Massachusetts with magic, which spawned several conspiracy theory books. They read them together and laugh as a past time

Diavolo once went to the human world in his demon form for,, reasons, and accidentally got written into ancient mythology because he got spotted by humans

Barbatos had a home garden for cooking and sometimes lets Asmo have leaves from some of the plants to make homemade skin care products

Mammon probably has lots of earwax. Don’t share your earbuds with him unless you make him clean them afterwards

Belphie has a really large water bottle that’s always on his side table. He wakes up randomly though the night, chugs an ungodly amount of water and then passed out again. In the mornings he has to piss really bad but is too lazy to get up and actually do it, so he just sits and complains. Even Beel isn’t sure how he’s able to drink that much water in a short amount of time

Satan likes waking up early to enjoy the morning air and read outside for a while since mornings can get hectic with his brothers

Thirteen’s favorite torture device is the Iron Maiden. She had her own that she bedazzled. Even Asmo is jealous and wants her to make him one too

Mammon introduced Diavolo to Gatorade, and instead of sneaking behind Lucifer and Barbatos’s backs to drink Demonus, they have secret Gatorade meetings

Diavolo and Lucifer definitely both had a hidden Dialuci stash of things and probably clash trying to collect limited edition things online

None of the Obey me cast took birthdays or passing of years seriously until Mc entered the picture and suddenly time was precious, and they actually kept track. Because of this, nobody is really sure how old the twins are

Mephisto thinks roosters want world domination

Asmo thinks cilantro tastes like soap and Levi thinks anything cola flavored tastes like cough medicine

Mammon's favorite party trick is one Mc taught him, which is rolling his tongue Everyone he meets, including his brothers, thinks it's so cool when really it's just a genetic thing

[eddaawrites]

Stay over?

Tara yummy

Summary- You and Tara have a sleepover and things escalate quickly

Warnings - Smut, cunnilingus, dom!reader, sub!tara.

Inspired by this request

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Getting into my car I back out of my driveway to go pick Tara up for our sleepover. It’d been a while since we’d hung out and I missed her so much. If I was being honest, I’ve had feelings for her for quite a while. And for good reason.

She’s one of the sweetest people I know, always putting others before herself. And the way she carries herself, like she’s the only person in the world. And don’t get me started on her looks, the woman is unconditionally and breathtakingly stunning.

The way her eyes shine in the light. Dark as the night sky, stars dancing on their surface.

The way her hair falls from her shoulders, so perfectly.

She’s everything I ever dreamed of and more.

So when I walk into her apartment after unlocking the door with my spare key, and see her dancing on the middle of the floor, swaying her hips to music playing on her tv while she packs her overnight bag. I fall into a trance. Time slows down and all that exists is her. Only her.

I zone out so hard that I don’t even register her walking towards me until I feel her arms around me, her fingers interlinking behind my neck.

It takes me a while to get my heart beating again, but when it does I wrap them around her waist, pulling her closer.

“Hey, angel” I say, pulling back to look at those eyes.

“Hi” she responds, and my knees almost buckle. Her voice in music to my ears.

“You ready to go?” I ask her, and she nods her head excitedly.

“Yeah, let’s go” she says as she grabs her bag and her keys and exits out the door.

Once we’re in the car I hand her the aux cord and she queues a couple songs. “McDonalds?” I ask although I already know the answer. “Duh” she replies.

A couple of minutes pass and I pull into the McDonald’s drive through. I don’t bother asking her what she wants since we go here so often that I’ve memorised her order.

When I’ve placed the order and driven to the next window I look over to her and see that she’s already looking at me. There’s something in her eyes, the way she’s looking at me, but I can’t quite put my finger on what it means.

“Are you okay?” “ I’m great” she replies. “Well I know that” I chuckle and she laughs.

God I love that sound.

“Thank you” she grins. I hadn’t realised I said it out loud. I feel my face start to heat up. She looks at me the way she did just a minute ago, what does it mean? A strand of hair fall onto her forehead and I feel myself reach for it, tucking it behind her ear, and letting my hand linger a bit longer than needed. And her cheeks glow a deep scarlet.

She’s so beautiful. Even when she’s not trying to be. She has me captivated by her beauty by merely existing. It’s astonishing.

She nuzzles her face into my hand and I gently stroke her cheek with my thumb.

The drive through window opens and a woman holding a paper bag speaks but her words don’t register. “Sorry?” I speak. “Here’s your order, have a nice evening.” “Right, you too” I take the bag out of her hands, roll the window up and drive.

The car ride to my place is weirdly silent, except for the music. She’s never this quiet. But I don’t get a chance to ask her why as I pull into the parking lot of my house and she practically runs in through the front door. I’m surprised there isn’t a cartoony Tara shaped hole in my door.

I follow after her with the paper bag. She’s already sitting on my couch, remote control in hand going through Disney+ looking for a movie to watch. Finally deciding on Lady and the Tramp.

I throw myself onto the couch placing the food between us and grabbing a blanket from the basket beside the couch and throwing it over both of our legs. We eat and watch the movie in silence, for the most part since Tara talks over the movie almost the whole time.

When the movie is finished she’s asleep with her hair in her face, so I brush it behind her ear and give her a light kiss on her forehead.

“You missed my lips by a long shot” she whispers. I chuckle “how very rude of me” “absolutely unacceptable” she looks up at me. “Well what do you suppose we do about that” she pauses for a second “I guess you’ll just have to give me two kisses to make up for it”. I smirk “Oh, yeah?” “Mhmm” she says as she leans in, her eyes darting to my lips. “Well if that’s the only way you’ll forgive me”.

Our lips meet in a slow and gentle manner. My hand glides up to her cheek, the other settling on her waist. She throws hers around my neck, her fingers tangling in my hair and I groan as she gives it a soft tug, my hand tightening around her waist.

I glide my tongue over her bottom lip beckoning her to open her lips, she does. It’s messy, the kiss filled with lust and passion as I pull her to sit on my lap.

I let my hands travel her body starting at her waist, down to her hips, to her ass giving it a quick squeeze, and up again to her upper back and then letting them fall to rest on her hips, guiding her to grind on my thigh. She does so and moans at the friction, the sound making my lower stomach warm and I moan into her mouth.

Her hands fall to the hem of my shirt tugging on it and I raise my arms as she pulls it over my head and throws it to the side and I do the same for her, taking her appearance in and looking up at her, pulling her into another kiss, this one gentle and caring. “So beautiful” I whisper against her lips.

My lips trail from the corner of her mouth, to her jaw, her neck and finally the edge of her bra. I look up at her and she nods. So i take her bra off, my mouth watering at the sight and I bring her left tit into my mouth grabbing the other one with my hand. She arches her back into me and throws her head back.

When I twist the peak between my index finger and thumb and gently nibble on the other one she lets out the most beautiful sound I’ve ever heard. “Oh fuck” she moans. She brings her hands to my belt buckle and looks down at me “please”. “Well since you asked so nicely”

I turn us over so she’s under me and kiss down her stomach. When I reach her pants I look up at her “are you sure?” To which she immediately responds to by nodding. “I need words, baby”. ”Yes, please. I need you”. “Atta girl” she responds by lifting her hips up for me to pull her pants down.

Once I’ve thrown them onto the ground with the rest of the clothes I lower myself so that I’m at eye level with her black lace thong. I wrap my arms around the backs of her thighs, pull her closer and kiss up the inside of her thighs slowly getting closer to where I want to be. I deliver a soft kiss to the wet spot on her panties and pull them down moaning at the sight.

“Jesus you’re soaked, is this all for me?” I breathe out. “All f’you” she moans. I slide a finger between her folds collecting her wetness, popping the finger into my mouth and rolling my eyes to the back of my head moaning at the taste. “God you taste so good, baby. You gonna let me have some more?” I ask. “Mhmm, can have as much as you want” she breathes out and I dive into her pussy, devouring her. Not letting a drop go to waste.

I suck her clit into my mouth, circling my tongue around it. Her back arches off the couch as she lets out a pornographic moan. “Fuck keep doing that”. She grinds her pussy on my face and I moan, the vibrations setting her own moans off.

I flip us over again so she’s sitting on my face and she instantly starts grinding down on my mouth. I slip my tongue into her pussy, and she grinds her clit on my nose. Her hands find my hair as her legs start shaking, her eyes rolling back and her head doing the same as she cums. Hard.

Once her moans die down I pull her off of me and place her down getting up and going to the bathroom to get a wet cloth to clean her up.

When I get back she’s half asleep so I try to be gentle so as to not wake her up. But when I accidentally touch her sensitive clit she hisses and clamps her legs shut. “Shh, I need to clean you up, baby”. She opens her legs again and lets me finish.

Once I’m done I grab us both some oversized T-shirts from my closet and put mine on, taking my pants off in the process and putting the second one on her. Then I lay down on the couch next to her pulling her back to my chest.

“Goodnight, Tara” I whisper in her ear before placing a kiss on the top of her head “Goodnight”

———————————————————————

A/n: Sorry this took so long I’ve been kinda out of it lately. And please be nice since this is the first time I’ve written smut. Love you guys!! ❤️

[lilacmingi]

EVIL QUEEN (DISNEY VILLAINS AU)

My works are 14+ ONLY. If you’re under 14 DO NOT interact with me or any of my works. And please don’t spam-like!

Pairing: Evil Queen!Yeosang x fem!reader

Word count: 5,970

Yeosang watched as you strolled through town, an annoyingly cheerful smile on your face. Why were you always so happy? What was there to be happy about?

Everyone you passed greeted you with a bright grin, their faces lighting up when they saw you, especially the men. Yeosang grimaced at the sickening sight, observing from his window. He didn't understand why everyone was so fond of you. There was nothing special about you. You were average, dull, and ordinary. Yeosang, however, was royalty. He was powerful, intelligent, and wealthy. He ruled over the kingdom and had an magnificent castle, furnished with only the finest pieces of furniture. He should be the one getting all of the praise and attention, not you.

"Why does everyone like her so much?" He grumbled.

It took everything in him to step away from the window though he wanted to keep watching you. It sounds absurd, watching someone you despise. Yeosang never once stopped to consider that fact. He was too busy keeping tabs on you and peering at you through his large viewing window. When he wasn't doing that, he was watching you through his enchanted mirror.

He paced around his room, taking long strides across the floor, his mind fogged with thoughts of you.

"You need not concern yourself with her, your majesty." His mirror spoke.

"I'll do as I please." Yeosang snapped.

"She is only causing you stress." The mirror continued. "This obsession you have is not good for you."

"It's not an obsession." He hissed. "And how do you know what's good for me?"

"This behavior is no good, your majesty. It will only cause you harm."

"Stay out of my business. What I do is none of your concern."

"Very well." Sighed the mirror.

Yeosang continued stalking around his room, his temper being pushed to its limits. He was already annoyed with you to begin with, then his nosey mirror had to get in his business. He's there for Yeosang to watch the townspeople (and you), not to give him unwanted opinions.

The king had to come up with a solution to this issue. Perhaps he could just try to be better than you. He reached up, running his fingers over the long hair at the base of his neck. Maybe he could grow his hair out more? His hand then moved to his black and purple attire. Maybe wear flashier clothes?

How could he bring more attention to himself?

He was quick to shoot the idea down, thinking it was too foolish. It would never work. He had to come up with another idea.

Yeosang sat in front of the magic mirror that hung in his chambers, a scowl on his face as he did so. "Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the fairest of them all?"

He already knew the answer.

"As you wish."

The face in the mirror disappeared, an image of you strolling down the street replacing it. You smiled brightly as you waved to everyone. Yeosang glowered at the sight of you. He couldn't understand how the townspeople adored you and fawned over you.

"She's not anything special." He grumbled. "Her looks are mediocre at best. What about mine?"

"It's not just her looks." The mirror spoke.

"I beg your pardon?"

"It's her personality."

"What about her personality?" Yeosang inquired, his tone becoming snappy.

"She's extremely kind to everyone she meets. That is why everyone loves her."

Yeosang let out a scoff. "Please."

"You need not be so sour towards her, your majesty."

"What did I tell you about staying out of my business?"

"I am only looking out for you, your majesty."

"Well, stop."

"She has done nothing wrong. Tell me, what has she done to you personally?"

Yeosang's jaw clenched in annoyance.

"Existed."

"That is not a valid answer."

"You have no right to ask me these questions." He snapped.

"I am only curious."

"She's become the center of attention. I'm supposed to be the one everyone pays attention to. She is only a citizen, I'm royalty."

"Perhaps you should try being nicer." Mirror suggested.

"I am nice. I've never once been unfair or harsh with the people of this town."

"That may be true, but you're not a very friendly king. Y/n goes out on a walk through town every day and is always kind to anyone she meets. You stay cooped up in here."

"And?"

"You should try getting out. Perhaps try and socialize with the townspeople."

"I've heard enough." Yeosang held his hand up. "I don't need you to sit here and nag me."

"I am not nagging. I am merely making suggestions."

Yeosang glared at the mirror before stalking away.

Yeosang was deep in thought as he sat on his throne. He had to do something to get rid of you. Attempting to switch up his appearance to shift the attention to himself was a stupid idea. There had to be another way.

I could have her killed. He thought to himself. Then I wouldn't have to deal with her anymore.

He shook his head at the idea. For some reason, thinking about ridding you from the planet left a bitter taste in his mouth. He had to think of something else.

Moments later, a devious idea popped into his head, one that would surely take all the attention away from you.

Yeosang then began constructing a plan.

For once, he listened to what the mirror had suggested and decided to get out of the castle. His perfectly polished shoes tapped against the cobblestone streets as he strode down them.

With a plan on his mind, he went to your quaint home nestled just outside the trees. He came to a stop in front of your door, giving it a few brisk knocks. You answered shortly after, a look of surprise flashing across your features.

"Oh. Hello, your majesty." You greeted with a small curtsey. "What brings you here?"

"I wanted to invite you to the castle for dinner."

Your eyes widened, cheeks flushing.

"Me?"

Yeosang nodded.

"Why?"

"You see, I've decided to do something special and choose one person to come have dinner at my castle, as well as receive a personal tour of the place."

Your eyes sparkled. "Really?"

"Of course, my dear."

"Wow." You placed your hand over your mouth in shock. "I can't believe this."

"Do you accept my invitation?" King Yeosang asked, awaiting your answer.

"Yes, absolutely!"

"Wonderful. Here are the arrangements." The king retrieved an invitation from inside his coat, handing it over to you.

You stared down at it, the date and time written on the decorative parchment in perfect calligraphy.

"I'll see you then, my dear." Yeosang waved as he walked away, a sinister smirk tugging at his lips once he was turned away from you.

You were immensely excited about having dinner with the king. You always thought he was a rather attractive young man and couldn't help but feel giddy at the fact that he chose you of all people to come to the castle. He could have chosen any one else, but he picked you.

You couldn't help but wonder why he was allowing a citizen to have dinner with him.

King Yeosang has never had anyone by his side. He's ruled the kingdom on his own ever since he took the throne. Perhaps he was holding this dinner to find a queen of his own.

You let out a gasp as the thought crossed your mind. If that was the case, did that mean he was considering you to fill that position?

You were quick to shake the thought away, not wanting to get ahead of yourself.

"There's no way." You chuckled. "That couldn't possibly be it."

Instead of allowing yourself to be delusional, you chose to settle on the possibility that he just wanted to build a better relationship with some of his citizens.

The number of days until your special night with the king dwindled down to zero. You spent all afternoon searching your wardrobe for the perfect dress, planning your look accordingly. You couldn't believe how lucky you were. This was a once in a lifetime opportunity and you didn't want to squander it. This would be your first proper meeting with the king and you wanted to make a good impression.

Once evening rolled around, you got yourself ready for your special night. When you were done, you stepped outside, ready to head towards the castle. You came to a halt when you saw a carriage sitting in front of your home.

"Miss Y/n. The king sent me to bring you to the castle." The coachman informed you.

You were surprised, and somewhat flattered, that he sent a carriage to take you to the castle. You had never experienced anything like that before.

Without wasting a moment more, you stepped inside the carriage, your heart racing.

Yeosang stared out one of the windows in his chambers, watching for you. It didn't take long for the carriage he sent to roll up at the entrance.

"Finally."

The king couldn't stop the evil smirk that tugged at the corner of his mouth. His plan was beginning to be put in motion.

"Your majesty, are you sure this is a good idea?" The mirror asked.

"It's the only way I'll ever be satisfied." Yeosang responded, impassively before striding out of his room and into the foyer.

He put on a fake smile when he greeted you, welcoming you to his home before escorting you to the dining room where he allowed you to take a seat at the opposite end of the large table.

"You have a wonderful home." You complimented as you sat down.

"Thank you." He then called for his kitchen staff to start bringing in the food.

The meal the staff had prepared looked amazing. You thanked them and let them know how delicious it looked.

Yeosang's jaw tightened as he watched the exchange. Even his own staff seemed delighted by your presence and kind compliments. It angered him.

"Just eat it." He demanded, his words coming out much harsher than he intended.

His anger was getting the best of him.

"Oh. Of course." You responded softly, reaching for your fork.

Yeosang gave a sharp glare to the kitchen staff, causing them to scurry out of the room.

"This is really good." You told him.

"Wonderful." He responded, trying to make his tone light.

Yeosang could hardly stand it. You where right there, just mere feet from him. His eyes moved to the steak knife sitting on the table, his mind wandering to dark places.

No. He thought. Stick to the plan.

All he had to do was endure you for the rest of dinner, then his plan would come into play.

"The townspeople are quite fond of you." King Yeosang spoke up.

"They are?"

"Of course. Do you not see them staring?"

You shook your head.

"You don't see everyone looking at you with adoration?"

You shook your head again.

"My." He chuckled. "You're an oblivious one, aren't you?"

"I—"

"The townspeople adore you. Their faces light up when they see you."

"I like to greet everyone I pass down the street."

"So you do." Yeosang murmured.

"Is there something wrong with that, your majesty?" You inquired.

Yes.

"No. Not at all." He lied.

You were so blissfully unaware of what you put him through on a daily basis, it was sickening.

Dinner had ended and Yeosang could finally begin the next part of his plan, but not before you stopped to compliment the cooks on the meal. They were so happy to get that praise from you. Yeosang tried not to let it bother him, but seeing how they smiled at your words made him livid.

"Come along, Y/n." He told you, trying to keep his tone light and friendly.

He led you through the halls, droning on about items in his home. It wasn't anything interesting. He was only trying to waste a bit of time. Without anyone noticing, he slipped something in your drink. Not anything dangerous, just something to make you a little drowsy for a short while, just in case you tried to put up a fight later.

"This painting here has been passed down for centuries." He pointed.

You nodded, feeling your eyelids become a bit heavier.

"Are you alright?" Yeosang asked, feigning concern.

"Just feeling a little sleepy."

"I see. Well, the tour is almost over. There's one last place I would like to show you."

You hummed in acknowledgement, following him down the hallway and through a door. The air becomes significantly more humid as you enter an area with stone walls. You pay no mind to it and continue trailing behind Yeosang.

"This is the dungeon." He told you. "Come closer. Have a look."

You moved towards the only cell, looking at the bars that were rusted with age. Yeosang opened the door causing it to groan and creak.

"It may be old, but it still does the job." Yeosang commented.

You took a step forward towards the opening of the cell.

"It's empty." You mentioned, taking notice of the lack of prisoners in the dungeon.

"It won't be for long."

You were about to ask why when you were shoved forward, falling onto your hands and knees, the sound of the creaky cell door being slammed shut. You gasped, turning to see Yeosang standing outside the prison cell with a smirk on his face.

"Oops. My hand slipped."

You scrambled to your feet, hurrying to the door, grabbing onto the bars, shaking them. The door wouldn't budge.

"The door is stuck."

"Yes. How observant of you." The king spoke in a sarcastic tone.

"I need to get out of here."

"I'm afraid the door is locked, my dear."

"There has to be a key."

"Oh, there is." Yeosang retrieved an old key from his suit jacket's pocket, waving it in the air.

"I... I don't understand."

Oh, Y/n. You're so naive.

"You're trapped." He stated, bluntly.

"But why? I didn't do anything."

The king scoffed. "I believe you need time to think about that."

He turned away, his cape billowing behind him as he left the room. The further he got, the more your heart sank. What did you do? You had never met the king before, so why was he so cross with you?

You slumped down on the cot, your eyelids feeling heavier than they had earlier. You were so tired. Maybe if you went to sleep, you would find out that this was all just a dream.

Yeosang sat in his chambers feeling more proud than ever. His plan actually worked.

"How did it go, your majesty?" Mirror asked.

"All went according to plan."

"Well, how do you feel?"

"Right now? Proud."

"I would like to say I'm happy for you, but I believe you've made a horrible decision."

"Well, I think I made the right decision. You'll see."

The next day, Yeosang sprung out of bed with a pep in his step. He strolled over to the window and looked out. The townspeople appeared to be going about their business, not noticing your lacking presence. He smirked to himself before getting ready for the day.

He spent part of the morning watching everyone through the magic mirror, pleased to see that none of them were questioning why you weren't around.

"Your majesty, don't you think you should check on the girl?" The mirror spoke up.

"Let me see her."

The scene of the town was replaced with you stuck in your prison cell. From the looks of it, you were still sleeping. You were curled up on the little cot with your arms wrapped around your small frame. Yeosang felt his chest tighten at the sight of you, but chose to ignore it.

You looked feeble all curled up like that.

Perhaps he should check on you.

You were still asleep when he arrived, but his footsteps woke you up. You pushed yourself up, your body feeling heavy from sleeping so deeply.

Lifting your head, you saw Yeosang standing outside your cell.

"Good morning, your majesty."

He didn't say anything.

"I don't know what I did, but I'm very sorry." You told him.

He scoffed in response. "You don't even know what you're apologizing for."

Even locked in a prison cell you were still unbearably polite. He hated that.

"If we could just talk about it, I'm sure we could work something out." You reasoned.

"There's nothing to talk about."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

"If you're upset about something, especially if it has to do with me, I'm more than willing to listen."

"I don't need you to listen." He snapped.

"I see." You murmured.

Without another word, Yeosang turned away and left the dungeon.

You slumped against the cold wall, your hands resting in your lap as you gripped the fabric of your dress. There was a few stains on it and it felt absolutely filthy. The damp air in the dungeon didn't do you any favors. Your hair was frizzy and your whole body felt sticky from the muggy atmosphere. The situation you were in was dreadful, but you refused to let yourself get discouraged. You weren't the type of person to lose hope so easily.

Yeosang told himself he would only come to see you to bring you food and water. That was all. He refused to go down to the dungeon unless he absolutely had to. However, once night fell, he kept thinking about your curled up figure that he saw this morning through the magic mirror. So, he returned once more to the dungeon with a blanket in hand.

"Here." He threw it into the cell before turning on his heel to leave.

You picked the folded cover up off the concrete floor, dusting it off.

"Thank you." You told Yeosang, your tone warm and sincere.

He froze for a moment, then went on his way without saying a word.

Days passed by, then weeks. Yeosang would watch you through the mirror, sometimes getting a tight feeling in his chest as he observed you trapped in your little cell. He would sometimes come and check on you, bringing you food and water. He tried not to go down to the dungeons any more than he had to, no matter what he was feeling.

You were still kind as ever, greeting him whenever he came down to deliver you a meal. You would ask how his day was and thank him for bringing you food. He hated it. He wanted you to be miserable and it didn't seem like you were.

Yeosang thought things would be different by now. He thought you would be begging to come out of the cell and that everyone in town would forget about you and focus more on him.

He even went out one day just to see if the response towards him would be different since you had been gone for a while.

Everyone he passed greeted him, bowing their heads and murmuring, "Hello, your majesty." But no one seemed happy to see him, even if he gave them his best smile.

He tried to hold in his anger as he continued down the street only to have it boiling over the edge after overhearing some of the male townspeople talking.

"Where's Y/n? I haven't seen her in a while."

"Me either. Now that you mention it, it's been weeks since I saw her out."

"Is she okay?"

"I hope she's not sick or something."

Yeosang didn't stick around to hear anything else.

As soon as he got back to the castle, he rushed to the dungeon, his anger fully taking control.

When he stormed in, you jumped up from your cot, startled by his sudden entrance.

"They're still talking about you. Why are they still talking about you?" He growled angrily.

"I'm sorry, but I don't know what you're talking about."

"The townspeople! All I hear is, 'Where's Y/n? I haven't seen Y/n. I hope Y/n is okay.' and it's infuriating. I'm the king. People should be focused on me."

Your brows pulled together in confusion. "I don't understand."

"You're so oblivious! The guys all look at you with adoration. Their faces light up when you flash them a smile. No one does that to me."

You were taken aback by this revelation. King Yeosang was angry because the people in the kingdom are more focused on you than him? That's why he locked you in here?

"Oh my." You placed your hand over your mouth, processing everything. "I'm so sorry, your majesty."

He only stood, staring you down with an emotionless expression. Even now, you were referring to him as your majesty and being so nice. It made him mad.

"I had no idea. I didn't know everyone felt that way. I was just being kind. I didn't know it effected you so much... or the townspeople."

"Well, now you do."

Yeosang turned around and left the room, unable to stay there any longer. The kindness you had consistently shown him was beginning to eat away at him little by little. He knew if he stayed in that dungeon any longer, he would crack.

He stormed into his chambers, slamming the door behind him.

"I don't understand. I have her trapped in the dungeon but I don't feel any better. The men in the kingdom are asking where she is. She's gone, but they're still talking about her."

"What do the men have to do with this?" The mirror asked.

"Men? No. I didn't—I didn't mean that. I mean the townspeople in general." Yeosang clarified, stumbling over his words.

"I thought you were mad that it wasn't you getting the attention?"

"I am. She's gone, and yet, no one bats an eye I pass. They're all too busy worrying about her. She's just another person living in the kingdom."

"Seems to me like your plan didn't work out the way you had hoped."

"We don't know that yet." Yeosang pointed, angrily.

"Your majesty, it's been weeks. Three to be exact. Nothing has changed. All you've done is make the townspeople worry."

Yeosang's jaw tightened.

This is not what he wanted to hear.

"She's being so nice to me. I locked her in a cell and she hasn't tried to escape. She hasn't even yelled at me. It's driving me crazy." Yeosang ran his fingers through his hair, tugging at the roots out of frustration.

"I think you like her."

"What?"

"I believe your feelings are mixed up. You didn't trap her in the dungeon so you could be the center of attention—you want her all to yourself."

"I beg your pardon?"

"You're angry that she's being nice to you because you feel bad for locking her up and you feel like you don't deserve her kindness." The mirror continued.

"No." Yeosang hissed. "That's not it at all. You think you know everything, but you don't."

"You're easier to read than you think, your majesty."

Yeosang was ready to smash the mirror to pieces. Instead, he grabbed a cape and threw it over the mirror, covering it up before storming off.

"You'll realize it sooner or later." Mirror told him just before he left the room.

Needing to be somewhere alone to simmer down, he went to the balcony overlooking his garden. His fingers gripped the concrete railing as he clenched and unclenched his jaw, his chest moving up and down as he tried to steady his breathing.

Was the mirror right?

Yes. His subconscious answered.

Yeosang squeezed his eyes shut.

There's no way he liked you. He couldn't possibly like you. Everyone liked you, but not him. No way.

If that was the case, why did his heart feel warm every time you spoke to him?

His head dropped as realization hit him.

Yeosang liked you. He liked you a lot.

And he locked you up. You've been alone in that dusty, old cell for three weeks. He hardly spoke to you, hardly gave you things besides food, water, and a single blanket. He was horrible. Why did he think that was a good idea? Feeling heavy with regret, he stepped back inside, heading down to the dungeon, dragging his feet as he went.

You heard the light thump of shoes against the stone steps, watching as Yeosang entered the dungeon, his head hanging low. His body language was unusual. Normally, he came striding into the room with a sour look on his face, but today was different—much different.

You watched as Yeosang pulled a key from his coat, placing it into the lock on the cell door. There was a quiet, metal sound as he jiggled the key, followed by a click as the cell door was pulled open.

"Go." He said.

"I'm sorry?"

"I said go." Yeosang didn't make eye contact with you as he stood with the cell door open. "Locking you in here was a horrible idea. I don't know what I was thinking. You can go back home."

You slowly stepped out of the cell. Then, you did what Yeosang never expected you to do.

Instead of running out of the dungeon, you hugged him. His body stiffened in response.

"You're a lot kinder than you realize." You told him.

You pulled away, giving him a warm smile.

"Goodbye, your majesty."

You were more than relieved to finally be set free. You hated being trapped in that cell, but you knew you'd be set free eventually. Seeing that Yeosang seemed to come to his senses was reassuring.

You had a lot of time to think while you were locked up. First, you thought about how deceiving Yeosang was. He always seemed like a nice person, but he wasn't. Then, you began to realize he was just troubled, lonely, and confused. Despite having a negative outlook on him at first, you decided to be nice. That's just the type of person you were. Seeing that you were now able to go home, you couldn't help but think that maybe all that kindness paid off.

As you headed up the steps and out of the dungeon, Yeosang called for you.

"Wait!"

Hurried footsteps followed after as he tried to catch up with you. You paused, wanting to see what he would say.

"Your dress is dirty and I'm sure you'd like to bathe."

He was right. You desperately wanted (and needed) a bath. You didn't exactly have access to amenities like a bathtub while locked up.

"I—"

"Please." He cut you off before you could even begin your sentence. "It's the least I can do after what I put you through."

"Okay." You nodded.

He let out a huff of relief. "Follow me."

You wanted to be wary of his offer and wonder if he had some ulterior motive—a second trap for you to fall into, but you couldn't seem to think that way. Based on the way he came dragging into the dungeon, you could tell he was feeling immense guilt.

Once upstairs, Yeosang led you to a bathroom where he asked you to wait while he got you a fresh change of clothes.

When he returned, he still wouldn't look you in the eye.

"Here you go. It's all I have."

You glanced down to see a folded up dress shirt and a pair of navy trousers.

You thanked him and stepped into the bathroom, your eyes immediately landing on a shower. Though you'd be thankful for anything, you were happy to see that the king had a shower. You were filthy and preferred to shower rather than sit in a tub full of dirt and other yuck that's built up over the past few weeks.

After thoroughly cleaning yourself, you felt much better. The clothes Yeosang had provided you with were a little baggy, but nothing you couldn't handle. You looked down at your soiled dress as you left the bathroom.

"I owe you an apology."

You jumped at the voice, lifting your gaze to find Yeosang standing in the hallway.

Did he wait for you?

"I shouldn't have locked you up. My reasoning was completely uncalled for. I was being selfish. I don't know what I was thinking."

"Thank you, your majesty."

"Don't." He held his hand up. "I don't deserve that title. Just Yeosang is fine."

He still wouldn't look at you. His eyes wandered anywhere but your face; he was ashamed. He was a king for goodness sake. He shouldn't have been acting the way he has been. While avoiding eye contact with you, he saw the dress you wore when you first arrived to the castle. It was a little stained and looked dingy from being exposed to the humid air and dirty floors

"I can have that cleaned for you." He spoke up, gesturing to your dress.

"Oh. That's alright." You politely declined.

"No. I insist. Please, just let me do this for you."

You gave in, handing the dress over to him. If getting your dress cleaned would make him feel better, you would allow him to do so.

"Thank you." He bowed his head. "Can we talk?"

"I suppose."

He handed the dress off to one of his castle staff and the two of you went out in the garden. You kept your arms wrapped around yourself, feeling the awkward tension in the air.

"I need to explain why I did what I did." He took in a deep breath, preparing himself. "At first, I was angry that you were getting all the attention because I felt it should have been me. I thought that's why I was mad. Then, I realized the real reason why I felt that way. I was jealous that the men in the kingdom were fond of you and so I locked you up to have you all to myself."

You were taken aback. Hearing his sudden confession made the whole situation a lot weirder.

"Goodness." You muttered. "I... I don't know what to say."

"You don't have to say anything. I just wanted to get it all out there."

If Yeosang was jealous and wanted you all to himself, did that mean he liked you?

You turned to the king.

"Thank you for telling me. I think I'll be going home now."

"Wait. Do you want something to eat? I can have my cooks make something."

"No thank you. I think I just want to go home."

He seemed upset, but nodded. "I understand. I'll get your dress back to you as soon as possible."

You bid the king farewell and left. The atmosphere between the two of you was awkward. He was feeling guilty for what he did and appeared to be trying to make up for his behavior. You were forgiving, but didn't really feel like staying at the castle any longer than you had to.

A few days passed and you returned to regular life, falling back into your normal routine. Some of the townspeople bombarded you with questions, many of them genuinely concerned about your abrupt disappearance.

"Are you alright?"

"Where have you been?"

"Did something happen?"

You just brushed them off, saying that you were feeling a little under the weather. Despite what you went through, you wouldn't dare tell anyone what Yeosang did. You wanted to keep it to yourself.

You were currently at home reorganizing your bookshelf when there was a knock at your door. You put a pause on what you were doing and went to see who was at the door. Upon answering, you saw a box sitting on your doorstep. You also saw Yeosang hurrying away.

"Hey." You called out.

He froze, slowly turning around.

"What are you doing?" You asked.

"I was just returning your dress." He said.

You picked up the box adorned with a gold bow, glancing down at it.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome." He nodded. "Well, I'll be going now."

"Wait."

He stopped, turning back towards you.

"I have so many questions."

You'd be lying if you said you hadn't been thinking about what Yeosang told you. It's all you thought about since returning home. You weren't sure how to accept his apology or even if you wanted to.

You always thought the king was handsome and you did kind of wanted him to like you, but after what he put you through, you were reconsidering the way you felt about him.

You watched from your front door as Yeosang chewed nervously on his bottom lip before speaking up.

"I'll answer them."

Minutes later, you found yourself sitting on your patio with Yeosang seated across from you.

"I'm going to be honest with you, I thought you were a wonderful person. I was so excited when I was invited to the castle, but you tricked me."

"I know. I'm truly sorry."

"Yes, well, I appreciate your apology." You pressed your lips together. "I do want to know something, though."

"What is it?"

"Why did you want to keep me all to yourself?"

"I told you it was jealousy, but it was also the fact that I like you."

"You didn't really act like it."

"I know." He fiddled with the rings on his fingers, clearly nervous.

"I'm not a vengeful person, you know. I also meant what I said that day. You are kinder than you realize. You locked me in a cell for three weeks, but you were also able to come to your senses and do the right thing. So, I'm choosing to forgive you."

"You are?"

You nodded.

Yeosang felt like some of the weight that had been on him was lifted when you said that. However, he knew he would have a long way to go. After realizing just how much he liked you, he wanted to right his wrong and maybe even get a chance to make you his for real—the right way.

"I hope it's not too much to ask, but I would like it if we could get to know each other the proper way. I'm sure you don't have the same feelings as I do, especially after what I did to you. But, at the least, I'd like to be friends with you."

"Friends?" You questioned.

He nodded.

You knew Yeosang meant well and that he truly had changed, but it would take some time to fully trust him. Pursuing a relationship with him was something that was currently out of the question, but maybe in time you could work towards that.

"Truth is, I've always thought you were a handsome person. Of course, I don't know all that much about you."

"Right." He nodded.

"We can start with being friends." You told him. "We can work from there."

"That's alright. I absolutely understand. Truthfully, I'm just thankful that you haven't decided to shun me—or worse."

"I told you, I'm not a vengeful person."

Silence settled between the two of you.

"Well, I'd better get going." Yeosang stood up absurdly. "Thank you for your time."

He quickly said his goodbyes and started to head out.

"Yeosang." You called out.

He paused. "Yes?"

"I'm always open to spending time together. Just let me know."

A soft smile pulled at his lips as he nodded. "Will do."

With a final wave, he went on his way.

You were well aware of how odd your situation was. You agreed to try and be friends with a man who trapped you in a prison cell. However, he was a troubled man and someone who clearly didn't have his thoughts together. He needed someone to show him the right path and that someone was you.

Hongjoong: Hades ⟡ Seonghwa: Maleficent ⟡ Yunho: Captain Hook ⟡ San: Cruella de Vil ⟡ Mingi: Dr. Facilier ⟡ Wooyoung: Hyena ⟡ Jongho:

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[saviorellie]

roommate!ellie headcannons.

pairing : ellie williams x reader

pov : second person , she/her pronouns

warnings : mention of porn i guess? college!ellie!! she’s got a big fat crush on you

notes : PLEASEEE send me headcannon and blurb requests for ellie (AND ABBY)!!

roommate!ellie that you met in a facebook group (she promptly deleted facebook as soon as you met)

roommate!ellie who refuses. and i mean re fuses. to do laundry.

she hates it oh my god she hates it. she does dishes, you do laundry. that is the agreement!

roommate!ellie who does not care what the place looks like, please take all creative control. she’ll love it regardless

she WILL kick ice under the fridge no matter how many times you tell her not to

roommate!ellie who would rather die than forget to water your plants. because she knows you love them and she KNOWS you will forget

she’s so “dad who says he doesn’t want a cat but loves that cat more than himself”

(the cat’s name is star. i will not elaborate.) (savage starlight.)

roommate!ellie who introduced you to fortnite and is mad because you’re better than her

roommate!ellie whose love language is physical touch

she will Die if your legs aren’t in her lap while watching a movie. she will sit on the counter beside the stove if you’re cooking.

roommate!ellie is a LOOOOSERRRRR

i’m talking sweating when you’re wearing pajama shorts, shaking when you play with her hair, blushing like all the fucking time.

she needs you bad.

roommate!ellie who turns into a handyman any time something breaks (she will break it more than it was already broken)

she was laying on the kitchen floor tiles when she accidentally broke the ac

roommate!ellie who refuses to let you buy groceries

“i eat more than you anyway” “you pay for the netlifx and the disney+” “let me sugar momma you”

roommate!ellie who will get on. All fours. if she comes home from work or class and you’re cooking or you made dinner for her.

(please please please be her housewife) (omg who said that?!)

roommate!ellie who puts cream and sugar in her coffee even though she likes black the best

because she knows she won’t finish the mug but you will and you like cream and sugar

roommate!ellie who is actually not! an astronomy major! she’s a paleontology major for sure

roommate!ellie who spends every paycheck she gets on 1. groceries and 2. random little trinkets she knows you’ll like

the sonny angel collection is crazy (thank you ellieeee :P)

roommate!ellie who can not stop giving you weird nicknames

“sweet girl” “angel” yeah yeah the normal ones but why is she calling you “beef” and “charcuterie board”

roommate!ellie was the first person you smoked with and she almost cried because she felt so bad when you greened out

her music taste is so. Bad (comedically, she actually has really good music taste)

“ellie if you play mask by dream one more time i’m going to [TRAIN PASSES BY]”

roommate!ellie (loser) who says “can i put my minecraft bed next to yours” LOSER

roommate!ellie who is So fucking smart but she pretends to not know what’s going on in her classes so you will sit next to her and your upper arm will touch hers as you help her

roommate!ellie who has to be constantly reminded to close her bedroom door at night

“i don’t know if you’re getting laid or watching p*rn but Hey close the door”

(you’re not jealous. why would you be jealous? it’s not like you like ellie or anything so if she’s getting laid why would it matter you don’t-)”

:0

roommate!ellie who worships the ground you walk on

do Not try on a dress or a skirt or a cropped shirt in front of her because she will pass out and d*e

stuttering and shit when you ask about her day (say it with me) (loooserrrr)

roommate!ellie who will Not hang up the phone or say goodbye without saying “love you”

cuz she does :,) she loves you :,)

don’t say “love you too” though because she will overthink it and stress herself out to tears

roommate!ellie who annoys dina so bad with how much she talks about you

“i was talking to y/n and she said” “y/n really likes this show” “y/n said that we should”

“oh my job just fuck already”

ellie’s best friend!dina who will look over you and at ellie and mouth “kiss her!!!”

and you’re clueless obviously

[rowanthestrange]

The Media Overanalysis (O)Mega Essay: Why Rogue Is The Bad Guy. Duh.

Code Mauve. Sorry, you’re a mutual and directly responded, so now you get The Post. It was bound to be someone eventually, and it was you. It’s nothing personal. You were just the first to dare my parapet.

@icantleave replied: rogue definitely isn't the master because the master is simply incapable of cosplaying someone this genuine and unlike himself, his disguises are always essentially very him with a few traits hidden or amplified.

Either there is a psy-op and Disney aired a different version of this or a solid quarter of you got brain broken by American Mr Darcy- no don’t try and run, get back here. The only running you’re doing is this essay equivalent of a 10k.

You are intelligent. All of you. And yet what the hell does this mean? “rogue definitely isn't the master because the master is simply incapable of cosplaying someone this genuine and unlike himself”

We’re going through this episode. All of it. This is not actually an ‘it is the Master’ post, it is a ‘but at the very least he sure acts like the Master would’ post, which is the above premise. But also just in general that Rogue is The Bad Guy.

Take it as the Master cosplaying Jack; a Pantheon member whose theme is Roleplay who like the others has watched the show and is deliberately filling the void daddy created and getting in by cosplaying the Master cosplaying Jack (has to be doing both to be skilled at Roleplay ala Maestro and the Toymaker’s skills in their areas, else he’d just be shittily cosplaying Jack); or literally he is just baddie Chuldur #6 fanboy who wants to bang the Doctor he saw on TV cus he’s sexy and they get Doctor Who out there as well as Bridgerton. All the concepts are adjacent:

Baddie fanboy roleplaying as Jack to fuck-slash-fuck-with the Doctor.

Places people. Let’s take it from the top:

-We start with a scene showing someone (Chuldur #2) who wants to roleplay as the bad guy because that would be fun.

-(Bonus: the writers talking about themselves - “Wonderful party, your Grace.” “Some are saying best of the season. A triumph. A new standard set. And I, of course, could not comment. But I think the real estimation of an evening is in the matches made.” I quite agree.)

-(We are also in Tredegar House, which you may recognise from The End Of Time, Spyfall, and other times in New Who. We like this place.

-There is electronic interference in Ruby’s earpiece. The Doctor scans this and finds it’s coming from Rogue. The Master is a frequent user of manipulative electronics both towards other people and to disguise himself. Put a pin in this, it’ll come up at the end. ✅

-The Doctor meets Rogue to the backing of hit pop song, Billie Eilish’s “I’m The Bad Guy”. The Master is a famous lover of fun pop, and being obvious to an oblivious Doctor. ✅✅

I wrestled with iMovie at midnight to put the lyric subtitles to this video and you are going to watch and appreciate it:

[If at any point you want out of this essay, all you have to do is come back to here and watch this video again while singing in your head along with the lyrics to receive a passing grade.]

-They deliberately work the lines around the music, not just thematically but so you can clearly hear what the backing song is. And made sure they kept the scene going long enough all the way into the next section just so they could keep the line: “I like it when you take control, even if you know that you don't, own me, I'll let you play the role, I'll be your animal.” Fuck’s sake. Most Thoschei song. Interchangeable freaks.

-Rogue is critiqued by the Doctor for not acting appropriately broody enough. The Master well known for being a fairly shit actor. ✅

-That is an American accent. This is a red flag for either being a Pantheon member, or the Master Dressing For The Occasion (which Rogue certainly has).

-“Do you practise in a mirror?” - him roleplaying would mean literally yes.

-“I didn’t know the Duchess employs a court jester.” - Alexa please search every time the Master has called the Doctor some derivation of clown. ✅

-“O…Kay…Rude. Lord-?” “Not a Lord.” Our last outing with the Master was all about his psyche-destroying discovery of being made from the Not-A-Time Lord Doctor; and if he is Pantheon The Rogue roleplaying as the Master, then just chef’s kiss line. But I will be magnanimous this early in proceedings, and let you go ‘technically a valid meta read is saying that conforms he’s not a Time Lord’. But the paragraph stands.

-He calls himself Rogue:

1. noun: a dishonest or unprincipled person. "You are a rogue and an embezzler" Similar: scoundrel, villain, reprobate. 2. noun: an elephant or other large wild animal living apart from the herd and having savage or destructive tendencies. "a rogue elephant"

If it’s the Master then straight up naming himself “The Bad Guy” is on brand. The Master is a Rogue Time Lord. That is what fandom has long called them - ‘Rogues and Renegades’. The Master is shite at names, if you haven’t had the pleasure of the Third Doctor’s company yet. Shitty anagrams, tenuous links to goals and character aspects, and crappy puns are the standard ✅. If Pantheon, then his choice in lifestyle that’s more about personally having fun (ultimately still Doctor compatible), with a group, in a non-competitive game which has no win condition other than enjoying the game, though rip to the NPC’s being played with as character, would definitely put him somewhat apart from the wreaking havoc on the universe others. If a Pantheon member, he literally did choose his own name from D&D.

-Just generalised throughout: Rogue is not actually suave. Some people find his secret awkwardness under the posh gear charming. The Master is not suave and is awkward, but desperately tries to style it out like he is anyway, that’s just his character. ✅

-We kinda feel like we’re going into some Karny Shobogony kind of cave area, we’re not, but just for the hitting home that this is another Upper Class Gallifrey mirror for the season. You don’t need to think the Master’s involved for this, don’t worry, wasn’t in Dot And Bubble was he, but that was a clear enough mirror. A person appearing as a servant forces their way up the social ladder. If you like some mirror play and are really deep in your TC ‘what kind of person would name themselves Master’, you’re having fun. Also I can’t see that type of death lightning without thinking of Simm!Master. Costly effect, but we went with it, and it does add some panache.

-Chuldur #5 is roleplaying Emily (this is used both in her disguise and out - potentially playing the same ‘character’. We’ll come back to this too, explore more later), who will be something of our Master this evening in the Gallifrey mirror if you’re going in for it. Also coincidentally is half the mirror pair with Ruby to the Doctor and Rogue. “Emily, please-” “But you consume me sir. I think of you every waking hour and I hate myself for it!” yeah we know babe… Anyone else hearing Dhawan!Master’s “I cannot bear that”?

-“I love these old skies” - all the stars makes it arguably sound more like a Flux reference rather than just light pollution. And we all know what event by who triggered that off.

-Finally we get more lines from Rogue, this has all been very one-sided. “Do you never stop chattering?” - a frequent refrain of the Master, who, fun fact has told the Doctor to shut up in every incarnation in New Who (and probably Old but this is the trivia I have) ✅

-If Rogue is supposedly wanting to stop the bad birdies, real weird he doesn’t give an appropriately flying fuck about the mysterious lone shoe. And simply says “I suggest look for the other shoe” like it doesn’t matter with a shrug. Because the Master is stupid and shite at keeping in-character. ✅ Makes sense if he’s on the bad guy’s team though. Also Cinderella. Noticing themes in today’s mirror subtext.

-They find it plus corpse. “And you knew. You didn’t even flinch.” Actually wrong, the Doctor can’t see behind him but we can. Rogue doesn’t flinch at the shoe, or coming up to the body, but when the Doctor says it’s the Duchess, Rogue does a slight ‘oh’ lean back, and then a sigh with a bit of a slump. To me this reads as a ‘oh you fucking idiots’ for doing it this blatantly, but I won’t mark it, cus you could argue that ultimately maybe a bounty hunter might care more about the death of the duchess in particular and sigh about it etc. (Or he is Pantheon roleplayer getting annoyed his gang can’t stick to a character and risking the outline going off-track and more bodycounty). “And you knew” - Rogue doesn’t keep eye contact but closes his eyes, opens them immediately up and a little to the side, thinking of what to say next style. ((This specific circumstance he couldn’t have known about prior, cus the murder happens while he’s inside))

-“This is a murder far beyond the technologies of planet Earth. It could only be done by someone brilliant.” “And monstrous.” [-horny flirting tone looking him up and down] “And ruthless.” “And contemptible.” Both: “You.” He is the Master and in with the bird gang. No bounty hunter with a heart of gold is calling the murderer brilliant because also, may have been easy to miss, but the Doctor hasn’t done anything brilliant yet unless you include owning a scanner and briefly infodumping about constellations. That is a Master talking about himself kinda line. ✅

-The Doctor thought Rogue was a murderer who was calling himself brilliant, and it only made him more horny, and proceeded to dance along with that little two-step. If I’m Master-brained, what’s he? Cus he’s usually only into one murderer. If that guy had snogged him instead of pulling the gun they’d have fucked right then and there, that scene has so much sexual tension that should not be there.

-Edit - courtesy of @katoska: “#though dimensionally transcendental pockets would explain where he'd hidden that big gun in that form fitting outfit.” - And why wouldn’t you have given him one of Jack’s guns, they’re all smaller? But they made Rogue a huge one.

-“So who do you think I am?” “I know you’re a Chuldur.” “The shapeshifters? Ha, I’ve heard of them. I’ve never met one,” *tilting head back towards Rogue and smiling* “Unless I have.” Please, if nothing else, come out of this thinking at minimum he is bad birdie Chuldur #6. Maybe we’re rewriting Frobisher. Heavily, heavily rewriting.

-“[his ship] cloaked behind that shed.” Calling the TARDIS a shed. It was Three that technically said it but the Master has repeatedly expressed his disdain for our beautiful police box before so that’s a Master-fitting line, be it intentional disdain or not yet. ✅

-Won’t call it a point, but he tells us he is a bounty hunter sent here to find them for the money. (Note: not kill - at the very least a bounty hunter would be bringing back the body to get, you know, the bounty). Aside from being a cheap and easy backstory it’s evidently morally bad, for all the Doctor literally goes ‘that is so…cool’ - which is absolutely not his usual position on bounty hunters.

-The thing he uncloaks the ship with? Same thing that controls the traps. How multitool. How sonic screwdriver. Or Laser screwdriver TCE as you prefer.

-His ship is a bird. It has wings, two eyes, and a beak. He is with the birds. He is The Bad Guy ✅. He is using and familiar with the bird ship; or at the insane alternative a TARDIS that completely disguised itself both outside and inside as neighbouring bird ship. There is no good guy answer for why he is in a bird ship. We never ask how the birds got here. But it was probably the bird ship. Bird ship.

-Meta so I can’t give it a point cus it’s beyond our scope but: “Oh you’re the Duchess! Of course, I should have scented you.” Not immediately recognising one of your own species when you should have sensed them thank god that’s not a mirror.

-His ship has an angular console in the middle of it with mirroring angular shape above it, the same taste in decor as the Master does with a TARDIS, like it’s almost designed to put you in mind of one, cute. ✅

-“This place is a mess.” Dhawan!Master’s TARDIS house and console room proper were a massive mess, these guys share housekeeping habits too. ✅

-“I live alone.” The Doctor notes this sort of ship would be piloted by two. Aw sad. Except he’s lying, he’s obviously lying, because he has dice on the table and he’s not playing D&D in his bird-shaped ship alone or with only two fucking people, is he? You need a group. Maybe of Bird roleplaying enthusiasts. Liar. Bad conduct. And failed to remove the evidence that contradicted the lie - dumbass Master behaviour. ✅

-Rogue declares “You’re a killer.” And the Doctor goes “Oh well,” before trying to sonic himself out of the situation, without actually defending himself against the charges. Maybe doesn’t feel the need to. For some reason.

-“What do those things do?” “It’s a trap. Triform on.” Now that could easily be a Master when he’s being sexier line, complete with his classic dumbass behaviour of declaring to the Doctor that something’s a trap before actually springing it. ✅

-He says he is going to send the Doctor to the incinerator. Why? ‘Uh he’s a bounty hunter’ Yeah. So why would he burn the evidence that would get him the money? Can’t just rock up and say ‘I dealt with it I pinkie-promise’.

-The Doctor attempts to sonic his way out of the trap before it finishes charging. Rogue says immediately that it’s deadlocked. The one thing that stops a sonic screwdriver. You can’t deny, that is the level of forethought the Master would manage to scrounge together. ✅

-Rogue scans the Doctor’s gadget, allowed in cus it doesn’t recognise it as dangerous device (oh the old ‘temporal grace field’ in the TARDIS, that’s a nice little mirror), and apparently the scans say it’s a screwdriver. I can’t prove this is a lie, but even we don’t think it’s a screwdriver, the last one with 14 literally was so much not a screwdriver it couldn’t unscrew screws, so unless it connects to the system with the name 15_screwdriver_1 again, feels too convenient. But a toxic Doctor fanboy would be able to identify what it was.

-I don’t know why we have a Sonic Monocular scene that cost us money and effort to produce when we could have just glanced across the table, but since all things that cost money in production have a reason, maybe the laser screwdriver style object we pan over? Point of interest but not a countable one, and either way the main argument is aligning character traits not convincing you he literally is the Master.

-“Roll for insight”, he cracked a smile, so surprising it uncloaked the Doctor’s full Scottish accent. This is the first positive character trait we have seen. We are just shy of halfway through the story.

-Telling the Doctor to “Roll for insight” after he sees the dice, is a dungeon Master’s instruction.

-of course he likes D&D, he plays it with the birds on the bird ship, he’s sent the birds he plays it with off out to continue the game in Bridgerton, he’s being their dungeon Master in real life too

-Seriously if you think Rogue is genuinely just a good guy bounty hunter and we should believe that uncritically, why would they tell us he likes roleplaying in D&D so much he picked his name from it? He roleplays. That’s one of the very few things we know about him. Why not chess? Or Minecraft? He could have liked Tetris? Why would he like roleplaying in the episode about roleplaying if him roleplaying isn’t relevant?

-The Master too adores roleplaying while also not being that great at it. Just putting that out there.

-“And it says that you’re wired for sound!” *sonics* ‘I Just Can’t Get You Out Of My Head’ by Kylie Minogue plays. *Rogue looks up in full wide-eyed uh-oh then turns to the Doctor* “Now this is a surprise.” - I mean, yeah, it is actually. I mean why would there be such anachronistic music playing in a ship owned by a guy from…well funny I guess he never said and the Doctor never asked. Well from a species like…well alright uh guess we didn’t do that either. Said ‘planet Earth’ that’s a pretty alien way of phrasing it. “Hey but in the Whoniverse Britney Spears’ Toxic is a traditional Earth ballad”, and maybe usually I’d let it go, but this is the second anachronistic bit of music we’ve heard, and the third we hear later is even more pointed to draw your attention to it. No. It’s weird. You know who it wouldn’t be weird to though? Our pop loving Master! And that’s the most Thoschei Thesis Statement song in Kylie’s repertoire! ✅ (Or Pantheon sharing daddy’s Spice Girls thing for 90’s pop). The Master would also absolutely have forgotten to delete his playback history before all this and pull an ‘oh shit’ face not from embarrassment but cus he knows this looks fucky because he doesn’t have a poker face he’s an idiot that panics the second anything in his plans ever goes wrong. ✅

-The Doctor mouthing: “Boy your loving is all I think about.” A sentiment that’s cropped up multiple times now this episode. Also in a Master mirror. Mhm. It’s a sickness babes.

-But hey we’re up to two positive character traits for Rogue so far - likes D&D and Kylie (both anachronisticly).The Doctor was willing to follow him out and blow him in the shrubbery for less, and honestly, respectable. “I just have a crush on prettyboy American Mr Darcy” is a defence, not a good one, but still.

-The Doctor and Master with one turning the music on and the other trying to turn it off would be a scene, you can imagine it, don’t lie, you’re imagining Missy and Twelve right now. (I think for annoyer-and-annoyed Three and Delgado could go either way depending on the episode. How appropriate for them.) ✅

-Also Rogue attempting to snatch the sonic screwdriver from the taller Doctor’s hand as he plays keep-away. Bitchy, gay, very character-breaking with the rest of the episode, deeply funny. The Master would. ✅ Then gathering himself, putting on the I’m In Charge voice and holding out his hand for the Doctor to hand it over and he does. (Huh, have you guys as a whole watched Delgado? Is this what creates the ‘the Master would never’? Cus actually if you’ve not seen these two just be a bit silly with each other and think that’s just fan characterisation that would actually explain a lot. Eh, but Missy and Twelve(/Clara) have some silly too, if not Three and Delgado level. Hm, to ponder).

-Psychic paper would also not work on the Master and he would say “it says ‘you’re hot’” to fluster the Doctor. Also we know he’s lying about it saying that, because he’s the one saying he’s seen it written, yet immediately follows up as the Doctor babbles with, Rogue: “Is it ‘you’re hot’, or I’m hot’?” Rogue would know which word was written the funny ambiguity is only from the non-seer’s side on hearing the other person say ‘you’re’. ✅

-“Suits you, flustered, it’s a good look for you.” Finally we get some fun confidence - which only appears the second he actually gets an upper hand with the Doctor on the back foot. Like someone else we know. Also yet again we have the phrase “a good look” for you in this episode all about shapeshifting. The phrase is applied to Rogue by the Doctor, to the Doctor from Rogue, and among the birds to each other. It establishes an equivalence between them, which is odd if Rogue is supposedly the only one not shapeshifting and roleplaying.

-The boss thing, callback to the Meep. Again this isn’t a ‘convince you it really is the Master’ thing, it’s character analysis that their traits overlap and he is a bad guy. But since we’re here, the Master is often technically working for someone else he intends to double-cross while thinking he’s ahead of them (nearly every time incorrectly), and we know he is/will be involved with the Pantheon — given this guy is a dice rolling gameplayer, the Master gambling and losing to the Toymaker, just vibes like it’d be out of order and future toothening imo — while there’s nothing to say our hidden ‘The Boss’ is Pantheon, I’m gonna Occam’s Razor and assume both those plot threads tie together, and for now that’s a reasonable way to explain how the Master got involved with the Toymaker at all.

-“I’m just so trigger happy.” Literally a Master line, and one we just had: “Oh, shoot. I should've said, somebody needs to cut you down to size, then zapped you. I was just trigger-happy. I'll use it next time.” ✅

-Floating Doctor heads literally the Master’s nightmare. Literally literally but I can’t remember where from and ‘master nightmare floating head doctor who’ gets you about as useless information as you’d imagine.

-Look. Rogue goes from confidently being about to kill the Doctor. The Doctor forces the scanner to show some other of his faces with the psychic paper, does his whole speech saying he’s “not a Chuldur. I’m something much older and far more powerful. A Lord of Time from the lost and fallen planet of Gallifrey” (this is a special surprise that will help us later) “Now, let me go, bounty hunter. We have work to do.” It is cringe, it is up himself and lording over others which is nearly always punished, the Doctor uses his special Deep And Majestic voice, and our stoic confident Rogue is suddenly wide-and-starry-eyed and breathily says, “Wow.” In the fakest response I have ever seen. Sadly I am not allowed more than one video. But oh my God, if you need a refresher it’s 18:14. And if you think it isn’t fake, yes you need the refresher.

You can’t be buying that OwO “Wow”. You think that was the turning point? I know I’m supposed to provide better analysis, but the writing is cringe, the acting is completely counter to what it was a moment ago for both parties, is over the top, and you think a bounty hunter would do a 180 from that?? Why?? ‘Oh you’re showing me the faces you’ve been before, yeah, I know, you’re a shapeshifter’. Nothing in the scanner says he’s a Time Lord, just the words from his mouth, why would he not be lying to save his own skin? And again, what would a Time Lord mean in the universe now? Who gives a shit, if you know what they are you know they’re all dead and reasonable shot you’re happy about that. Failing even that, Rogue is working for the same Boss as the Meep - if the word Time Lord rang a bell it’d be cus Fourteen caused problems last time ‘bring him to me’, surely. “Wow” uwu so cool! Really??? Nothing, not a thing Rogue has done so far, indicates he would be “Wow” to that. Not a damn thing.

Fakest response I’ve ever seen - Groff is actually a good actor so it’s supposed to be fake, at least one of the writers is award winning and may well be both, and Ncuti went out of his way to make it look like unnatural arrogance that doesn’t fit with the previous acting choices either in this scene or the whole show so far. So either all these people were crap at their jobs, or, it’s supposed to smell like bullshit. Would the Master look exactly as fake going “wow” because his character needs to have the heel-turn now? Yes ✅. And that you pulled this speech in front of him would complete its vast circle of cringe and roleplaying.

And what happens next? We cut straight to Ruby and Cosplaying Chuldur #5: [Giggling] “We can’t keep hiding like this!” You guys are smart, don’t pretend you’re not smart, if you follow me you know how good writing works, and are choosing to ignore the meta and mirrors and themes of the episode in a way you wouldn’t with a normal Rusty-written one that you’d sit and deeply analyse. Different writers yes, but smart and capable and award winning ones. These aren’t two disparate stories smushed together, they’re the same story in different keys, that’s the Rule One here.

Continuing, Ruby tries to convince High Society Lord- Lady that she doesn’t have to marry another Lord but could be a normal person, and then the Lady says “I’ll marry someone lesser, and smaller…it may not be love but perhaps a kindly smile at dinner…and then a shared grave” cus she doesn’t want a normal person, that’s what Ruby wants her to want, she wants to marry her kinda shitty Lord. Because that’s what this fantasy roleplay is all about.

Okay essay portion over we got out of hand, bullet points, re-engage.

-A motherfucking owl hoots, with the subtitle “owl hoots”, while Rogue recloaks the giant bird ship, giving us a second look at it again, making sure we get the full distance shot and shimmery cloaking effect to highlight the wings if they get lost in the shadows. Rogue. Is with. The birds. It’s a bird ship. There is no good guy explanation for the bird ship and its D&D equipment that can only be used by multiple people in our episode about obsessive-roleplaying birds.

-Rogue has now packed. ‘What?’ Rogue has now packed. He is now carrying a small bag, cross-body strap over his shoulder. We will not use anything from this bag or see him access it or acknowledge it at all. He’s just brought it with him. Perhaps like he knows he’s not going to be going back to the ship again. Curious.

Dice Bag propoganda post

-“You ready for this?” [low tone] “It’s not my first shed.” - woah woah woah, where’s all the sparkle of a minute ago babes, I thought you were ‘OwO wow’, if you know what a Time Lord is you know what a TARDIS is, but you’re not excited no mo? Or he’s doing it to deliberately make the TARDIS inside reveal cooler in contrast because he knows how much the Doctor likes this moment.

-“O my God” - haha namedrop. This happens to be Mastery behaviour cus this is just the Dhawan!Master pretending to be O entering the TARDIS scene. You were catfished by this before, come on babes. ✅

-“Come with me, and we’ll be, in a world of pure imagination…” - what are you imagining babes? Are ya roleplaying son? Cosplaying? Engaging in a bit of the old fantasy right now. No? He’s just feeling in a chocolatey kind of mood? Uhuh.

-“I’m in love!” - Now isn’t this a 180 on the character? From so reticent and ‘most serious man on earth’ to loudly declaring his love for the ship. Which just so happens to be the Doctor’s number one kink. And what does the TARDIS do in response? She growls. Rule one basic storytelling - the new boyfriend is evil, we knew cus the beloved dog growls at him. Rogue said he was in love and she growled. Gave Jack a bar, an ensuite, and let him tinker with her insides. But to Rogue she growls. Baddie. ✅

-The TARDIS lights are in a red-and-white checkerboard pattern. Our dimensionally transcendental TARDIS is literally a 5d chessboard. I won’t count it, but come on.

-Speaking of dimensionally transcendental, that’s exactly what Rogue called her. Yet didn’t anticipate a TARDIS thirty seconds ago. It takes work to argue he knows about dimensionally transcendental spacetime ships but not know of TARDISes that Time Lords travel in, but does know enough about Time Lords to be dazzled by them when he clearly isn’t of earthly Lords. Much easier to go ‘eh’ keeping the story straight when you’ve got extra knowledge you’re pretending you don’t have, but also need to come across as intelligent, is hard. We’ve all played D&D or at least Let’s Pretend. It’s hard. Lying is hard.

-After a quick “and so clean” back-and-forth, Rogue runs up the stairs, hand on the bannister and leans on the railing. The TARDIS growls again, louder, like a whale. Like she did in the episode with the Not-Things, and with The Maestro. (Arguably her ‘Pantheon’ noise?) Both of them notice. Rogue’s expression immediately turns from an awed open-mouthed smile to blankness, with a head tilt and turn, slowly coming back. “What was that?” The Doctor claims indigestion and she doesn’t like bounty hunters. Not true of the ones with hearts of gold. We’ve seen her with Jack, and River, and she adores them. “It’s the moral void - no offence.” So you’re admitting it. Stating it directly. He’s not got a heart of gold, the omnipotent spacetime ship can see that he’s a moral void. That is what you have said. ✅

-“And this, from the ancient and fallen world of Gallifrey…Where the hell is that?” *buzzer* Wrong. You tried to be clever and aren’t - that wasn’t the line. The line was ‘lost and fallen’ not ‘ancient and fallen’. Oh but Gallifrey is ancient though- *buzzer* He says in the same sentence he doesn’t know of Gallifrey. And yet, he got all wide and starry-eyed over a Time Lord, when he is saying he knows nothing about them. Why? Because he can’t keep his character straight pun intended, which is a character trait of another undercover ex-agent we know. ✅

-“Well I might take you one day.” - bananas response by the Doctor for multiple reasons. ‘I’ll take you to my lost and fallen homeworld’ ok what? Second, Fifteen has for once been very open about his loss in this regard, said repeatedly that it’s gone, and how much it hurts him. Said it to Ruby, to Carla, to complete strangers. But here he’s out of character. Why? Maybe he’s roleplaying one that doesn’t hurt. Maybe because he thinks it’s the Master and is fucking with him. But I’m going with the roleplaying and saying what this character feels. Fucky from the Doctor rather than Rogue.

-“In a few minutes it will no longer be a deathtrap, you are welcome.” [Rogue casually] “Why, what does it do now?” This is all important but also pause to reflect for a moment on whether the character we saw up to this point would have handed his essential survival and work gear to a shapeshifter who claimed to be a Time Lord with zero proof and let him just modify it however. ‘He’s just a very trusting bounty hunter, is all.’ I mean he wasn’t at the start of all this though, was he.

-Doctor boundaries: I can’t let you kill it, “So instead we will transport it to a random barren dimension, no-one to hurt, no way back.” Passing over the obvious, the Doctor is the one programming this. We agree we’re probably not literally installing a randomiser onto the device, we’re just randomly picking one and assigning those coordinates. How do you know it’s barren? Oh the TARDIS is dimensionally transcendental we just reminded people, so she can probably see, she’s picking it. Ok. …So there’s no reason she wouldn’t have a record of what she set it to. That’s information we should have. Ok. Which are the letters Rogue says. Ok. What about your bounty job? Not even a response to the no-killing? Or that this seems worse if anything? No. Just ok. We’re saying that a lot in this episode. Ok. Just going along with things. Ok. I know what that word means. Ok.

-“Who did you lose?” “How do you know?” “Cus I know.” Cus we covered this earlier actually when he mentioned the usually two-person’s for captaining an asteroid hopper. Forgot? No worries Rogue, been a long ten minutes. No attempt to make a proper backstory just stares at the Doctor like a cow looking at an oncoming train and goes, “There was- …Yeah. We travelled together, we had fun, you know. And then a day came along, and at the end of that day…I lost them.” Now if this was the Master you’d be saying no shit he can’t provide details and only parrot what the Doctor always says in these situations, he is a moral void, bro has one friend and only knows what it’s like to love that one friend obsessively, he can’t even empathise enough to improvise a backstory that feels realistic. Maybe only lies have details but you can argue my guy didn’t even commit to a gender. It’s also a valid read to assume he’s just short on words at losing his fellow they/them bounty-hunter crook friend. Maybe the OwO Time Lord thing is enough to make him open up a little even if the Doctor’s done nothing to earn that trust yet. But both work just fine, if it was the Master it’d be how he’d do it. ✅

-“What about you?” The Doctor’s expression hardens here. Maybe cus it just hurts. Maybe for other reasons. [coldly, we linger on him] “I lost everyone.” Rogue still with too-wide-cow-train eyes . “But at the party I saw you with that woman...” That tone. And how we immediately wave his ‘Best Friend’ aside. Look, again it’s a watch the scene. These two are good actors, they’re excellent. And down to the ‘huh’ head tilt before Groff’s line with every microexpression he is radiating a guy playing a role while still trying to poke his roleplaymate in his open wound with a stick. There has never been just one layer in anything in the show so far why would it start now in the episode about cosplaying people to death do you part, why? Why?? The one mirror everyone can accept is Captain Jack and he was literally a con man. This is a con man you are being conned. If you look at his face and think he’s being earnest you are extra weak to con men do not give strangers your credit card details. Didn’t you have jerk friends? We all had jerk friends. That is the expression the jerk friend made when they were just asking questions *blink* *blink* don’t get upset. Or Groff is a garbage actor. But he isn’t. Just the character he’s playing is crap at acting. Go back and watch O, the cow-eyes are textbook liar, any liar, but especially the Master ✅. They’re doing a scene, it is diegetic. The acting is diegetic.

-“You don’t have to stay a bounty hunter, [beat pause] Rogue.” You can say it’s just cus he knows Rogue isn’t his real name but the Doctor’s usually fine with that sort of thing. “You could travel with me[…]the worlds I could show you…” “And what if I like what I do? Would you travel with me?” “That is quite an argument. ((No it isn’t he doesn’t like bounty hunters)) I’ll tell you what, when we both get out of this, let’s argue across the stars.” This is the Doctor and Master scene, we do these scenes every incarnation all the way since half-share in the universe, you don’t have to think he’s the Master but we know these lines damn well are. ✅

-They nearly kiss but the TARDIS cockblocks them with a beep of being finished with the rewiring, because again, she doesn’t like the moral void, and does not want the Doctor to stick his dick in it. And what does the Doctor say as he steps back from their almost kiss? “The trap is ready.”

-[Rogue is sans new bag for the indoor scenes here, I believe this is just a costuming error that happened from them probably reshooting the dancing a bajillion times, it will come back when they’re back outside again and in every subsequent scene onwards]

-They meet back up with Rubes and Roleplaying Chuldur #5. Ruby asks a very good question. “Ok, but what does anyone get out of killing these people? I mean I know they’re posh nobs and all that, but we found the housekeeper dead. I mean why would anybody do that?” And the Doctor, instead of saying ‘it’s how they steal their bodies they’re shapeshifters’ says the meta-important answer first. “The dance. The drama. The emotion.” THIS IS ABOUT GALLIFREY. High society here is a mirror for the aforementioned fallen Gallifrey. The Master didn’t just genocide the Time Lords, he killed every Shobogon/lay-Gallifreyan without Child-stolen regenerations, he killed every TARDIS, every living thing on the planet. Why? The drama.

-“It’s cosplay. All of this is cosplay.”

-The Doctor turns to a non-plussed looking Rogue and says: “You said that a Chuldur comes to a planet and tries on people like outfits just for the fun of it.” …Wh- when? When did he say that?? (I’m being facetious - he doesn’t). Also does that seem rich coming from the ‘multiple costume changes per episode’ Doctor? Mirrors.

-(If the background music here is Vitamin String Quartet I don’t recognise it unfortunately. Fun Fact, I used them exclusively as background music for my own wedding, cus I thought it’d be fun for people to try and guess the songs if things got boring and it’d be a conversation starter. Ate my wedding cake to Poker Face. We like resonating with the universe here.)

-“Those TV signals beam out across the stars.” “What are these T-V signals?” I can’t add more than one video, so if you’re not willing to take the description on faith it’s 24:45. But watch Rogue here. He slightly turns to her with a little glare and that exact same frustrated little sigh he did with the Duchess corpse earlier. Dungeon Master’s stupidest soldier? Cus you’d think if he was annoyed she was being anachronismatised (real word), he’d have given the Doctor the shut up glare but doesn’t give him bother for it at all. Maybe he’s just a conflict averse bounty hunter. But that’s what the Master would have done, he has low lackey/idiot friend tolerance. Both reads valid. ✅

-The Doctor dances, we know what that’s a metaphor for and what episode it’s from. Good thing Rogue knows all the moves ahead of time.

-Just putting the reminder here cus there’s no clear place - I go with Master because Dungeon Master, I’m A Bad Guy, the mirrors *gestures at everything above* etc. but mostly because this is a deliberate attempt to cosplay Jack. Thus it requires someone who has watched the show. The Pantheon, the Master seems like a good bet, however, could admittedly be Chulder #6 (and they’re just supposed to be a very strong but purely mirror for the Master) and because of their different dimension-ness has watched the show on TV and has figured out how their self-insert is gonna bang the Doctor. But one way or the other, our baddie here has seen Doctor Who The TV Show in the same way the birds watched Bridgerton and this is an intrinsic part of this that shouldn’t be separated. That we have a fanboy who is deliberately cosplaying Jack and invoking him and references to that episode is important.

-Rogue: “So what is this ancient Earth tradition of cosplay?” No-one said it was ancient (twice now), no-one said it was Earth, no-one said it was tradition, even Ruby had to clarify ‘so you mean it’s literally dressing up and playing at Bridgerton?’ Rogue almost certainly already knows what it means. And we know the birds do. This is our baddie having fun. Because as the Doctor says next: “Oh, Rogue. It’s when fans dress up as characters that they like.” (Point to Pantheon, because roleplaying the Master would be dressing up as a character from Doctor Who that they like).

-General note again: both prior to but especially 13’s era really spent some subtext time building up the whole ‘The Doctor’ and ‘The Master’ are roles they play. If you know you know. We’ve been continuing on Chibs’s themes. Just reminding.

-The Doctor takes the male i.e. leading position judging by the other couples visible. As per traditional Thoschei.

-Lights dim in our usual diegetic/non-diegetic playing that we’ve been doing. Soft point to Pantheon - remember if The Rogue’s theme is Roleplaying it must be a double bluff for him to actually be being skilled at it, and he is cosplaying the Master cosplaying the Doctor, with the conceit that the Doctor gets this but not that it’s someone cosplaying the Master, thus he’s winning. If he is Pantheon this is the only potential evidence of fuckery besides having brought non-native-dimensional creatures into ours, which we do have other explanations for.

-“We need to have a big fight so one of us can storm out and the Duchess follow us.” “The Chuldur cosplay, not me.” Mhmm. You had D&D dice. But regardless if you buy that, we have now spontaneously swapped from engaging starry-eyed Personality B, back to Personality A: strong and silent.

-“How dare you my Lord! You would ask me to give up my title? My fortune? But what future can you promise me? *Rogue shaking his head, not good at deviations from the script, nor is the Master fwiw* ✅ “You cad! Tell me what your heart wants, or I shall turn my back forever!” “I…” Fifteen whispers, “Say anything.” If you are not internally writing the pre-show Doctor/Master fanfiction I cannot help you. Jo describing the Master like a jilted lover or whatever the hell it was. But at least here, with admittedly a little open-mouthed smirky smile, Rogue gets down on one knee and offers his ring. (From non-marriage hand, 4th finger, don’t completely see him pull it off but he was wearing it in the dance scene). If we are re-writing history with this cosplay, which given the Doctor’s reaction he certainly seems to consider it meaningful, that’s definitely what the Master would do here. ‘This is what I wanted you to do back then.’ ✅

-Obviously the Master has used that sort of flat-topped large round ring before, we’ve had the callback to it with the red-nailed woman and the tooth just recently. The insignia is not entirely decipherable. Most default I’ve seen is an angel (Master coding, especially if we’re wearing it upside-down hoo), I’ve also seen a ‘rod of asclepius with 3d coiling tails’ (A Doctor fanboy who has come prepared for this moment), and just plain bird of some kind given the little wings.

-The Doctor says a very genuine “Sorry I can’t- …I ca-” and runs off. (Which definitely happened the first time). This almost certainly isn’t River trauma, Twelve wore the implied wedding ring until it fell off when he regenerated. And we’re just supposed to be making a scene and this is an obvious way to do it - he’s already nearly kissed him and invited him, the Doctor put relationship on the cards, and could easily still be haha fun joke but you are still coming right? If it was just Yaz Making Everything Feel Like Touching A Hot Mind Stove then the near kiss feels like that would have been included in the trauma reaction. So presumably engagement based triggering specifically. Probably not from Cameca either. That had cocoa involved.

-Rogue seems a little surprised at this reaction. Fair all round, the Master might not have expected it either, but also the sort of thing a fanboy might not have been able to pre-empt - it wasn’t in the show after all.

-They actually join back together almost immediately and they run outside, so it wasn’t that overwhelming.

-“Oh, we must play them!” - no ‘aha’s’ from the peanut gallery, we already saw the birds can potentially not recognise each other in costume, and in the baddie camp (bird ship, he’s in a bird ship) we can be pretty sure that Rogue didn’t arrive here looking like Mr Darcy since none of the others were pre-costumed and just nicked people when they got here. (number 2 shows they didn’t pre-organise characters - “nice costume”). If Chulder #6 - nicked a guy. If Pantheon - conjured himself a bespoke Darcy form. If the Master potentially still body-stealing or simply we’re cloaked - remember the electronic interference from the start that pointed the Doctor to him specifically rather than the Chuldur? Dhawan!Master previously cloaked himself, plenty of scope there. (Why would the Master need to cloak? If the Doctor’s already familiar with his form. Either from other plans or the fact that, well, there’s a world where this could literally still be Dhawan!Master.)

-The Master nicks bodies by the way, for New Who-onlys. We haven’t actually done it for a while, and for earring interference reasons I don’t believe we’re doing it now, but it’s actually a Classic Who staple.

-“Now keep the Duchess talking, a Chuldur is strong, and if she starts to change you it won’t stop.” First, now that’s a meta, second, do we want to add a sketchy point for the gendering of the Chuldur? Cus we’ve seen one of them explicitly say they’re fine with different bodies (‘oh I wanted to be the Duchess’)? Hm. It’s an assumption on thin ice but I’ll allow it. We don’t ask Rogue why he knows so much about the Chuldurs considering they’re different dimension beings. There are non-problematic options there to be sure. But will say that Dhawan!Master was previously messing around with different dimension beings hoping to find out if they were what the Doctor was, got trapped in their dimension at the end, and these ones are literal shapeshifters. If it is the Master, he has plenty of reason to be here with them and know a lot about them. ✅ If he is a Chuldur, well, obvious reason.

-[Rogue now has his bag back on. This is why I believe it’s a costuming error it wasn’t on indoors just then - the TARDIS and real outdoor areas were obviously filmed in very different times and places, the fact the bag travelled to both is suggestive that it was clearly supposed to be a part of his outfit at this point. BTS: the indoor and outdoor scenes were obviously filmed at different times, (3 weeks of night shoots oof) they’re not actually walking in and out of the building. But it’s also a deliberate costuming addition after the ship because he wasn’t wearing it in the night scenes where he’s holding the Doctor at gunpoint or anything. Tl;dr - no bag before the “Wow” heelturn in the ship, carries bag after.]

-There’s not one but multiple of the Chuldur shapeshifters. A ‘family’ according to Rogue. (Who are playing two characters that are getting married. Oh Doctor-Master mirrors, never change). Something you’d think would be on the bounty hunter note - are you just getting paid for the first one? Can you claim extra if you make multiple runs? These are important questions. Or not.

-“I want to be the Doctor.” …How does she know it’s the Doctor? ‘Uh, the Duchess was introduced to him earlier.’ Yeah. The Duchess. Who died. Childur 1 was still the housekeeper when that happened. She knows who the Doctor is.

-Doctor-Master inverting with the “Run.” “I’m the one who usually says that.” Our beloved theme returns to us. Of course maybe it’s just the cosplaying self-inserting whatever could be any baddie by which i mean really only Pantheon or Chulder #6. Bird ship. The Master was literally cosplaying as the Doctor the last time we saw him, like physically in the Doctors clothes. And probably underwear. Does anyone in this essay smoke weed?

-“Breaking spines! Removing tonsils! Live vivisection!” Gallifrey Time Lords mirror previously engaged, re-engage plus Timeless Child. But we uh haven’t had them do any of that stuff yet and they already suck people dry (don’t. I think it’s meant to be a kind of bolus, if you know your birds of prey) so I don’t know why this line is here. Actually maybe I do - now they’re roleplaying playing scary beasts hunting prey, doesn’t mean they’re actually going to do any of those things. Removing tonsils stands out. …We have a rogue (can’t say that now. Odd?) line from Ruby at the beginning about falling over in front of a fit dentist, the Master’s in the Toymaker’s gold tooth, tonsils feel adjacent, it’s almost certainly just funny, and it is, but if that bangs any bricks together in someone’s head go to town.

-I think the “breaking spines! removing tonsils! live vivisection” line is there to showcase that they are roleplaying Baddies. Because while murdering, they have done literally nothing like that, and it’s the sort of silly thing a child would say when playing a monster trying to think of the nastiest things a monster could do). “We still have the big finale wedding to come. And then… London. We can play our games on a magnificent scale. Parliament first, then royalty. I can be King. And we can start wars with the French and the Spanish and the Portuguese, and everyone who doesn’t look British.” This is their spitballing Season Two. As another point to all being one character and that them being Secret Monsters may be accounted for in the game - Emily is always called Emily whether humanning or in bird form.

-The Doctor and Rogue hide in the carriages. (Matilda style). If you’re building that pre-show Thoschei story, hiding from Time Lords in a TARDIS was probably already there, but if it wasn’t, now it is. Or hurr durr hiding in a carriage is funny I don’t know.

-“Back to the house. We must advance with the wedding! That should get them out of hiding.” …Bestie? What does that mean? Why would that get what we were led to believe that you believe are ‘two random interesting people one introduced to you earlier as the Doctor’ out of hiding? They have skedaddled so as not to be eaten by birds, right? They’re gone, lassie, why would they come back? …Unless she already knew who a character called the Doctor was before they were introduced? And that the Doctor’s M.O. will bring him back? Cus they’ve been watching more than one show.

-We modify the transporter: “I can make this transport gate carry four.” “What if there’s more?” “Right…Six. Six maximum.” How convenient. Personally don’t feel that worry is realistic for the character to have (while acceptable to write), and that if Rogue was as he was originally portrayed, he would be saying “Worst comes to worst, I could always…” *lifts jacket* *Doctor has brief moment of distracted horniness* “Nobody is going to be shooting anybody.” But he’s so perfect pacifist for the Doctor so quickly, I guess he just never would. Of course if he’s on their side, especially if also a Chuldur, he’s not wanting to kill any of them.

-Also feels like a Dungeon Master-whisper in the ear the Doctor just goes with: What if there’s more birds? *sets it to 4* What if there were more. *immediately sets it to 6 skipping 5 entirely*. (We talked about Missy’s comment of there always being a way out being potentially meaningful re: the Master’s traps for the Doctor; and counterbalancing the Doctor giving them a way out ‘come with me don’t be evil’. This would be a fun thing to do with that. Trying to create and order a good story and satisfying conclusion based on the Doctor and other players’ choices - pure DMing work at its finest.).

-“And I thought I was interesting. A bookish little wallflower risking it all for a secret love… But you. You are wild, and brave, and rude, living a life of adventure” again you don’t have to be team Master to enjoy the Gallifrey mirror. The potential in these mirrors for the Master is mmm gorgeous and I’m so here for it. Going back in time to when One ran away with Susan and slapping him for not proposing because he would have come with you, we could fix the universe, we-

-Question, cus I’m bored and this has become sort of a general analysis essay: When the birds transformed there were at least some people inside who screamed, you hear them. …Why is the party still here and going on and everyone’s chilling. Eh maybe Dot And Bubble explained that. Or maybe it was delayed screaming at seeing the gays. That’d be a Time Lord mirror. A marriage proposal probably gets you arrested for public indecency.

-The birds speak English, French, and German. Or at least a few words thereof. Multidimensional telly and I’m surprised it’s got foreign channels? How anglocentric of me. *shakes head*.

-“This is the endgame, Chuldur’s leave no witnesses ((yes they do they just abandoned bodies everywhere)), they’ll slaughter everyone.” If he’s not a bad guy then why, why the fuck, did he spend about fifteen minutes fucking around and not shouting “If we don’t stop the Chuldur they’re going to massacre everybody the second they stop having fun! Yeah, I’m bringing the gun!” like you mention this now??? Of course he mentions it now, he’s building dramatic tension because he is like our favourite dramatic bitch. ✅

-R:“I’m sorry.” 15:“They got her.” Ruby cosplaying as a Chuldur cosplaying as Ruby (see you thought my Pantheon cosplaying as the Master cosplaying as Jack was too much - we did double-layering in the episode itself) enters the room. Rogue gives his line but immediately turns away and watches only the Doctor and his reaction (who stares for a moment then gets up and walks away). Autism collective that we all are, this:

is not an expression of someone whose heart is breaking for his new friend. Just so we’re clear. Which is an odd choice for a new love interest - no sympathetic pain, eyes closing, not even a pat on the arm. He’s just observing what the Doctor does, and then gets up and follows the Doctor out. ✅ If he’s a good guy (he’s not, bird ship) you’re not selling him well. And if he’s a bad guy turning noble, he doesn’t have that part down yet. (Also Rogue said he’d tried looking for Ruby but they’d locked the doors. They manage to get through the section they’re in just fine. YMMV. Not enough on its own imo).

-“Madam. Your Grace …Your Birdiness. I cannot sanction wedlocke…between creatures from Hell.” They let the vicar be the one with the banger line, damn. Only one with a spine. Dead obviously but getting a high-five from some angel out there. (Me turning that into a vicar’s reaction to being asked to wed the Doctor and Master, whatever the fuck they are.)

-Speaking of which, here we explicitly see a Chuldur kill a man and copy his outfit but not his face. The Chuldur. Have no difference. Between body. And clothing. *flashback the Not-Things, and Fourteen regenerating* If you weren’t sure they were mirrors, you should be now.

-“How long do they live for?” “Chuldur?” “Mhm.” *Rogue comes up from behind to stand alongside him where he can see him.* “They have a lifespan of about six-hundred years.” “Good, good. That’s a long time to suffer.” A slight negative in ‘this can be validly read as the Master’ behaviour, because this yields only a tiny expression change of a slight raise of eyebrows, not a wild-eyed smile, and I don’t think the Master’s been able to restrain himself that well since he was Delgado. God what that man could convey with an eyebrow. Also we’ve all agreed that the funniest thing is that the plan doesn’t even change, he just knows how long their torment will last now and is happy about it, and if you ever need to explain the horror underpinning the Doctor it’s that.

-Now this is a hell of a thing to reveal about yourself to your brand new love interest and companion. That you’re down for some serious torture. Thirteen went well out of her way to be a monster only when they couldn’t see her. (Works nicely as a soft threat though. ‘If you’re involved with killing mine, I will torture you til you die or the sun does’. Good to have boundaries in a relationship.)

-“Taste his inhuman scent.” - A) Nice double-meaning line considering *gestures above*, B) Confirmation she knew earlier the Doctor wasn’t human, and so combining that with the belief he would come back if they started the wedding…

-“And I am one of a kind.” “He is quite unique…” Hold this in your mind we’ll be back to it in just a minute. *

-The birds immediately recognise the transport trap, by name, and that there’s only one third of it. Which would make a lot of sense if Rogue and the birds’ ship are the same bird ship so they’ve seen it before. Can’t be that they’ve encountered Just A Bounty Hunter Rogue before - he ‘didn’t know’ there was more than one, there’s no visual recognition, and previously it led to an incinerator not something escapable from.

-That we don’t see presumably Rogue placing the other traps, not even a glimpse of someone shuffling in the background, is to me extremely interesting. Not only like with the Carla flashback scene, playing with the unseen, but perhaps critically that this certain someone might know where the cameras are…

-Were you going “why don’t they just take their shoes off” when they got stuck in the triform? Well makes sense that they didn’t now, right?! Cus we know now there’s no difference to them between their clothing and their skin! …Admittedly Ruby…hopefully is fine and as human…well maybe not human…hopefully she’s whatever she was at the start of the episode. I, uh, maybe would mark that down as a concern though.

-Ruby’s chemistry with Lady roleplaying #5 was rewarded by attempted murder as Emily sought to turn into her. That happens a lot here. Let’s not worry about them as the partner mirror for Doctor-Rogue. Or what just happened with Dhawan!Master and 13. If you consider ‘Poker Face’ to be obviously meta-relevant here but ‘I’m The Bad Guy’ not earlier, question yourself.

-* I told you we’d be back. “She smells like a Chuldur.” “Idiot! It’s a false scent from that cheap psychic jewellery!” - The Doctor smells unique but this doesn’t mean they aren’t palling around with the Master. We’re specifically given a reason for this to not be an issue and well, I guess that would explain why she gets earring interference when Rogue’s around huh? If they’re using the same technology. (Same goes for a Chuldur faking being a human etc.)

-Do I believe the Master could perform a fireman’s lift to yeet #5, yes surprisingly, he is actually physically strong, a fencer, rower, and it’s been noted before. (Ainley’s six pack haunts me still). Dhawan!Master in particular has lugged corpses. It’s only running he doesn’t do/have stamina for. However, do I think he would risk it in-situ just for cool points? Don’t know. However, for this free bit of mental torture to work, the final bird has got to be in the enclosure. If it’s not all or nothing, then of course the Doctor would release Ruby. To get the Doctor to have to choose either to kill his companion or the world? He would carry the earth like Atlas. ✅

And that’s what he immediately proceeds to do with no hesitation. ✅

“Doctor, press send. We’ve only got one chance.” “I can’t.” “Press. The button.” *The Doctor openly, loudly panicking* “It will send Ruby!” “No, Doctor, it’s fine.” “NO! No! No! No!” “If you don’t press send, the Chuldur will escape and Ruby dies anyway.”

The Rogue that you think is real is not doing this. Is not convincing the Doctor to kill his companion. He is taking out his gun, and shooting the struggling birds while they are still stuck to the glue trap. It’s not a nice thing. But it is the Heart Of Gold thing. But he’s not that. He’s just The Bad Guy. ✅

“They’ll kill us. Then this house. Then London. Then the world. You know that. You absolutely know it.”

He doesn’t. The Doctor doesn’t know a thing about the Chuldur other than that they are shapeshifters and what he’s seen. How does he even know what London is?? And he wasn’t there for the scene where the Chuldur said it themselves.

He can’t have logicked that out. There were a few deaths sure, but one housekeeper and a duchess not only isn’t ‘these are extremely dangerous and fast killing machines’-worthy, that leap doesn’t make sense.

It’s not even true in their possibly-just-roleplay Baddie Plan. ‘And we’ll start wars with x y and z and everyone who isn’t British! Bloodshed, cannons, gunpowder!’, like that is a lonnnnnnng plan. Like I said before this situation is no ‘we don’t have time to run away and regroup’ thing, they’re slow killers, and especially with Ruby with battle mode engaged she at least would be fine. But it’s that taking over London bit. Very specifically. He claims he hasn’t met them, doesn’t know how many there are, he’s not admitting to any prior knowledge of these guys. So the only way he comes up with that line is if he already knew what they wanted out of their campaign in the first place.

They have not yet proven any more dangerous than any human gunman, in fact less, they clearly can’t spray bullets, they kill one at a time and so far only people they’ve wanted the appearance of in some way. They have been in rooms crammed with people who survived the encounter. Are you going to have to leg it to the TARDIS to regroup? Yes. Would people die? Sure. But probably not her, she’s fast and has a battle bot controlling her movements. Multiple posh nobs have died already and we only got a little sad over the housekeeper. Our hearts will survive. The one putting the pressure on the situation is not the Chuldur. It’s Rogue. There is no time limit. No rush. It’s waiting for you to press the button on the Laser TCE- I mean control stick. But Rogue is not giving him a second to think. ✅

*Rogue approaches, step by step.*

“So can you do it?”

GUYS, your supposed hero is TORTURING the Doctor, who is fucking ugly crying his two broken little hearts out. ✅

“Can you lose your friend to save the world.”

‘I am very sane and staring at you in a normal way the normal amount. Choose to kill your friend yourself, or choose to allow the genocide of every person on this planet including her. I want to see you choose, choose, choose.’

“Ok, but what does anyone get out of killing these people? I mean I know they’re posh nobs and all that, but we found the housekeeper dead. I mean why would anybody do that?”

“Remember how we used to run through those streets as children? The alleys where we'd hide from Borusa as we skipped classes? All gone now. Come on, ask me why I did this.”

*Sobbing Doctor shakes his head, making his decision* [quietly] “No.”

*Rogue with hitherto unseen tenderness, wiping one of his tear away* “I know.”

No, he doesn’t! If he is a random fucking bounty hunter he does not in fact know that. He knows because he already knows the Doctor. From real life or from being a bad guy who just kind of likes to watch TV - which actually I guess does describe the Master✅✅

*Rogue kisses him. Because a tortured ugly crying Doctor is hot to him.* ✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅

(If I need to explain why the Master snogging the Doctor here, or the fact that he genuinely loves him in his own twisted way, you can’t be helped, or maybe were just a Ten viewer when you were 8 so missed stuff, and have watched nothing else in the show and just stumbled back in here - go watch Twelve there’s Simm!Master in it for you, and Thirteen’s second series onwards).

Live ‘About To Be Ripped Apart By Murderous Birds In Another Dimension If She Even Physically Survives The Trip’ Slug Reaction. Ruby straight up like ‘well at least he won’t be alone’, babes we’re gonna get you some sertraline, a psychologist, it’s gonna be ok, you’re worthy of life, we’re gonna get you help, we have a therapy circle.

The grin and hoppidy-skip jump Rogue does here when they break for air and he’s holding the Laser TCE/controller is a level of happiness we have yet to see from Rogue. A still cannot do it justice. (40:17 - though if you’re going, may as well watch the whole torturing scene from 39:00). It’s a bit more than a wee smile.

Then Rogue leaps over and knocks Ruby out of the triangle! Something he could apparently have done at literally any time before or during torturing the Doctor to his breaking point!

Why can he do this when she is molecularly bonded to the floor? We don’t know! It’s not explained! But he clearly knows his fucking device doesn’t he?! Why didn’t he tell the Doctor at any point that it would be possible to get Ruby out with a thing called a matter exchange? Who knows?! Maybe it slipped his mind til the last moment? The Doctor being the one to take her place would sure have been an answer, but oh well!

‘Maybe he didn’t want to risk his life for Ruby’s unless he really had to.’ - Then that’s shit hero and love interest behaviour isn’t it! But since it says “Matter Exchange” I’m pretty sure he could also have knocked Ruby out of the triangle using that vicar corpse on the floor a few feet away, then neither would have to die! So he must be real sure he’s gonna be ok! ✅

He’s so happy and chill. The music is happy too. Rogue jauntily throws the bouquet - ahh look who’s next to be married *wink*. This is the happiest and funnest and most genuine he’s looked the entire episode. Almost like he got exactly what he wanted! ✅

“Find me.” *click*

Ruby you’re such a dick, why couldn’t you be as happy as him? If you’d trusted the Doctor to find you instead of you die by bird and/or dimensional anomaly before he got there this could have been such a peppy scene the whole time. It’s almost like Rogue is absolutely certain he’s not going to die doing this. You know I know a character who’s been transported to a different dimension at the end of his episode before and got out of that just fine! ✅

Almost like this was the end of a live D&D session he was hosting. That’s a wrap everyone, great job. Just imagine what I’ve got in store for us next week. Good thing the car transports all six of us together! Well done for not panicking, screaming, or interrupting what I had going on with the Doctor at the end, and trusting this wasn’t going to teleport you into an incinerator. Thanks for playing along, excellent improv as always, I’ll be marking your RP points highly.

And then the Doctor screamed “I’ll find you! I promise I’ll find you!” it was very romantic, and then he got out the sonic and started scanning everything for traces, anything, he was still upset and panicky of course, I mean his new love interest had just snogged him and given his own life to save Ruby’s. But Rogue had believed in him to do this impossible impossible task so he would. So he and Ruby ran back to the TARDIS as fast as they could, maybe she’d picked something up or *gasp* she was the one who configured the trap in the first place so maybe there would be a record of what random dimension she chose! Except she wouldn’t let them access it for some reason and she kept growling and the Doctor was crying with anger and-

No wait, none of that happened, sorry, not sure why I thought it did.

Actually the Doctor went to comfort Ruby and her comfort him, sombrely put the bouquet down where Rogue was. (And left the trap technology behind. So got engaged and invented a glue/tarmac trap.) The Doctor remotely sent the Bird Ship to orbit around the moon, “so it can wait…as long as it takes”. In the 19th century. …Babe, you know they can see the moon, right? They have telescopes. This is a mavity waiting to happen.

(Genuinely choosing not to think about how we last left Dhawan!Master messing about with the two moons in the 1900’s, I’mma be real, I don’t know what was going on and when there, hope it doesn’t fit in actually because I’m not gonna get it. If he’s the Master he turns up, that’s all I ever need to know.)

-“Can’t we use the TARDIS and go find him?” Ruby asks. Good question. If the TARDIS can determine whether a dimension is uninhabited or not that’s definitely gonna narrow it down. Maybe she could outright search for him? If she, you know, didn’t hate his moral void.

-“There are as many dimensions as there are atoms in the universe.” *Ruby arm cuddles* “Anyway! It is what it is, so onwards, fine, next.” So is it ‘as long as it takes’ or are you not even going to try and find him? That and the bouquet really feels like you’re giving him up for dead and just hoping he finds his way back himself some day. It’s not what you were told to do. You can wear that ring and salute the sky with a smile all you like. He said “Find him.” Bad fiancé behaviour.

Cus the thing is, here is the ‘uwu small bean Rogue’ paradox. If this is just a normal guy, he’s not making it back on his own. He’s dying to the birds. The Doctor isn’t looking for him, and Rogue clearly didn’t think he could return on his own - he says “Find me” not “I’ll be back”. So if you believe we’re going to see Rogue again…he’s going to not be a normal guy, but be the type who can survive and make his own way back from a wrong dimension surrounded by free murderous birds. *piano rendition of The Cat Came Back starts playing* ✅

But luckily he’s not normal. He’s a man/bird with so much forethought he knew he wasn’t going to be coming back to his bird ship and took whatever it was that can save him from a teleport trap from the spaceship with him in that bag. Always have a getaway plan. That’s Masterful thinking. Unless you just think he wanted his wallet and keys on him ✅ (Point against Pantheon though - pretty sure being able to move reality around doesn’t require props. But then D&D. Maybe he just likes props.)

-“Doctor, you don’t have to be like this.” “I have to be like this because this is what I’m like.” And in our story about roleplaying, shouting out our longtime theme of the most important roleplaying of all, that we follow a character who’d rather be called Lulubelle playing The Doctor™. Doctor Who is a show.

-The fires whole and reflected and internal everywhere, like our Gallifrey mirror is on fire.

-Final additional literal-meta that may be of interest: the costume designer said Ncuti’s outfit is designed as a nod to Three - the original Thoschei pairing origin. We canonise Shalka!Doctor - famously and frankly exclusively known as ‘that animated one who made a robot boyfriend Master to be his Companion’, with lines in the episode Cornell said was indeed intended to suggest a relationship there and would have continued had that pilot been picked up. Relevant or not we’ll see.

And to all those who read that and yet still think that I am just very cynical and mean, and he really does have a single heart of gold, he’s just got flat affect and is socially awkward and autistic maybe and-

His ship IS A FUCKING BIRD. OWL HOOTS.

🎉 You did it! You read the full analysis! Great job! You passed Media Overanalysis, Rogue Edition. I told you it was a 10K. Look at how much you just read that had already been effectively covered in the first minute with just one thing.

“I’m The Bad Guy. Duh.”

(‘I am now convinced, but do you have a blessedly far shorter essay about why a Chuldur/Pantheon The Rogue perfectly cosplaying the Master cosplaying Jack would be the way to go?’ Why yes I do, strawman.)

Assorted later Additions:

Pantheon!Rogue: Why the bird ship?

Maybe that’s why the ship’s so fucky actually, DM’s love their props, this is about playing D&D In The Real World, so maybe he got one originally, short hop standard Asteroid Hopper. but now they’ve just kept (perhaps Pantheon-magically) editing it over time as the campaign and rule of cool needed. Appearance, better space travel, time travel etc. “It should look like a bird!” “…Yeah! It should look like a bird! Great idea Emily, we’ll work that in!” Of course if he’s a Chuldur this is just…their ship. Maybe classicly upgraded.

What might Rogue’s original plan for the Chuldur’s live D&D Session supposed to have been:

We know they were going to have a big wedding, but maybe that they’re also Baddies going to take over the world muhahaha! Cus they went into that monster-playing real quick and also they said that the panicking and screaming is their favourite bit - so there must have been a plan to include that after the wedding part of the game! They thought the wedding would lure The Doctor out so there must have been nefariousness in it or else why would The Doctor be drawn out? They were playing Baddies! So, thinking like what our lead bird would want for a moment, if you were to DM that, maybe he’s both playing the bounty hunter sent to catch them …But maybe also was going to do an “I Object!” scene too. Their faces in that scene, they’re so excited. Let’s say Rogue doesn’t know the Doctor was coming in advance. He’s already got ‘I’m The Bad Guy’ playing if this wasn’t a live magical edit on seeing him. Oh, maybe that’s why he chose to look like Mr Darcy. Maybe he was going to woo one of them - a good reason to already have the ring. Cus a big wedding can’t go right, that’s not drama, that’s boring. We know he’s probably cloaked - not only do they not recognise him but we have Ruby’s earring interference pointed directly at him (same tech frequency problems?) and even mention the psychic jewellery’s ability to mask a scent with a false one. So he was an NPC just meant to turn up and add some of their beloved drama. So he’d woo a Chuldur, he’ll object and then he would reveal himself as a bounty hunter with his Big Glowy Gun and trap! It was a dastardly trick! You knew he was a Rogue and a cad all along, you just let yourself fall for his deceit! *teleports to ship rather than incinerator* BRO. Even the bird’s D&D plot would naturally be the ‘I was tricking you and am actually your enemy’ twist!

Post-Empire, The case for the Chuldur Phoenix: Rogue being (unbeknownst to himself) the Master cosplaying a Chuldur cosplaying the Master.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Do you think that the Tinkerbell Extended Universe has any role in twst? I've seen a few fae that look suspiciously like characters from it

I definitely feel like it does, especially if we take a look at the Fairy Gala events. While I'd say that the majority of TWST's small fairies don't have designs similar to those from the TInkerbell extended universe, they do have similar skills and tend to be associated with nature (ie water fairy and water talent fairies, and flora fairy and gardening talent fairies, fire fairy and fire talent fairies, etc.). Most notably, there are specifically said to be "craftfairies" in Twisted Wonderland (who fix broken items, such as those seen in Silver's Fairy Gala Couture vignettes), which seems to highly correlate with the tinkering talent fairies of Pixie Hollow.

The one fairy I can think of that has a very strong resemblance to a Pixie Hollow one is the Fairy Queen. She looks a lot like Queen Clarion; just compare their colors, their wings, their gowns, their hair, etc. Not to mention that they're both royalty and oversee several of the smaller fairies.

Something else that's interesting is there are also similar elements of lore between the small fairies of Pixie Hollow and in Twisted Wonderland. If I recall correctly.. Pixie Hollow, fairies use fairy/pixie dust to help themselves fly. However, fairy/pixie dust in Twisted Wonderland is something that helps fairies identify each other. This is why the NRC boys cover themselves with it (to pass as fae while they infiltrate their event). So... special dust has a function among the fairies, but they are different functions across these two iterations. TWST seems to have borrowed imagery and ideas from Disney properties to make something for its own world, and that's really no different here.

TWST has lore about many of the small fairies living in a place called "Faeland", so I wonder if we'll one day get to visit it and learn more about the different subspecies of fae. It seems like there's so much variety among them and I'd love to know more!

[rayroseu]

Some Crowley and Lilia Parallels(?)

?? am i reaching here but doesn't "Crowley searching for a way for Yuu to go home" similar to "Lilia searching for a way for Malleus to hatch"?lol

like they both travel to far away places to search for clues to solve their younglings' problem and both Malleus/Yuu are frustrated whenever they're gone for their travels, Crowley/Lilia can't find a logical explanation why they're taking so long solving their problem too (like how Lilia foolishly trust wishes to make a dragon egg hatch bcs its just impossible to find another dragon and how Crowley seems like he's being lazy because he truly doesn't know how to transport a human back to another world) even though they're the person best suited to solve Malleus/Yuu's problem (crowley being the manager of orientation so he definitely must know(?) where the students came from and lilia being the only person Meleanor told that he'll hatch Malleus) also both of them are quite detached by how much Malleus/Yuu depends on them (by that i mean they leave them alone too much and lack communication with them even though theyre the person who took them under their wing)

They also have a habit of surprising people by falling from the sky (like Crowley's animation during special lessons and how Lilia always appears upside down to scare people)

and the difference between their serious and goofy personality is striking (like General Lilia with his mean attitude and deep voice vs Peepaw Lilia and then Prologue Crowley w his ominous vibe and again deeper than usual voice vs Weird Headmage Crowley).

Also idk if this means anything but they're also the characters with the most unique voices in-game, and im unsure about this too but i think their speech patterns both uses old english phrases yet still maintaining a modern pattern (to fit with the youths yk) and they both have "groups of bats/crows" surrounding them and serving as their only motif-- which makes me think both of them have familiars????

also both of them have "minimal magic usage"..... Crowley really doesn't casts any magic atleast in-game (but in other TWST media Crowley casts basic magic) and we know how Lilia is losing his magic because he exhausted it for hatching a dragon egg- Both of their (potential) twisted Disney characters (Bat goon and Diablo/Diaval) have a role in searching for Aurora too (I remember the Bat goon and co. was originally the ones tasked to search for Aurora but he failed so the task was passed to Diablo instead, and Diaval bcs he discovered that King Stefan had a daughter which raged Maleficent in the live action-)

I'm pertaining that if Crowley is Levan,,,, then these similarities would point out to the fact that [Lilia and Levan were always together](than Meleanor did) to the point where they kind of adapted each other's qualities, even if centuries pass-- Also TWST likes mirroring the "knights" of this game (i.e Silver and Sebek, Deuce and Ace), Lilia and Levan were Right and Left Generals (knights), so it kinda explains why they're having similar struggles and similar life pattern(?) (like babysitting an unprecedented child amidst their independent life and being hit with an important problem that is "impossible to solve")

so In conclusion?? did Meleanor cursed her generals to be eternally struggle babysitting troubled children?? XD

totally reaching here-- if Crowley is Levan and his life truly is similar to Lilia's,,, then then does that mean he cut his hair like Lilia's ???? 😳 bcs think about it,,,, all the Briar Valley characters we got has long hair (Meleanor, Baul, and Gen. Lilia) so does that mean if we do get a reveal of Crowley/Levan,,, we'll see Crowley with a longer hair as Levan- ✨🙏

If that's true,,, atleast Levan's hairstyle as Crowley wasn't a chaotic job like Lilia's,,,, LOL it kinda matches their description that Levan is more prim and proper KDHWKHD atleast as Crowley, Levan is actually attempting fashion instead of randomly matching whatever like Lilia 😭 also didn't Crowley had a tangent about his very specific food taste when asking for souvenir(GloMas Event)?? which hits the nail about Lilia's complaint about Meleanor and Levan being picky eaters lol

[hisui-dreamer]

to the happiest place on earth

Characters: Octavinelle (Azul, Jade, Floyd)

Synopsis: going on a date with them to Tokyo Disneyland!

Tags: fluff, Disneyland date hehe, reader's tolerance for attractions is based on my own, self indulgent, bot proofread

Word count: 1.4k+

Notes: because obviously i kept thinking about the fish mafia when i was in tokyo disney resort

did i write too much for jade? no

Masterlist

Azul plans everything

weeks before even going he's doing so much research on every little aspect of the park

he's become an expert, because how else would he impress his angelfish?

asks you what rides you like and sets out the perfect plan for you to experience everything

basically you just need to tell him what you feel like doing next and he'll instantly suggest the best plan

fast pass? fast pass.

he's rich, he's definitely going to buy all the available passes only to improve your experience

time is far more valuable than money! the less time spent lining up for rides and azul having to come up with engaging conversations, the better

his headband of choice:

doesn't really understand why the mouse ears are so prominent in the park, but he wants to match with you and take nice couple pics hehehe

also apparently that's a sorcerer's hat?? perfect! he's a diligent student of magic and follower of the sea witch!

is reluctant to get on fast rides like space mountain and you can see how pale he looks afterwards

he doesn't complain at all tho, and he's very willing to try rides with you

he has great night vision (deep sea octopus), so he is less affected by rides like haunted mansion and pirates of the caribbean

speaking of the latter, he's incredibly grateful for the darkness of the room, because the way he blushed when you held on to him when the boat fell from a waterfall shook all three of his hearts

fascinated by stitch encounter and considers making a mascot for mostro lounge using the same tech

also definitely gets the best seats for the fireworks/parades so his angelfish won't have their vision blocked

overall great experience, the capitalist thrives in capitalism, and he gets to experience all the joy and wonder of the theme park

The sound of the waterfall only seemed to grow louder and louder, yet there was not a single one in sight. Unless...

"Angelfish," Azul whispered, trying not to disturb the other guests. "Hold on tight, I think the ride will drop off from a waterfall."

You barely had time to react to his words as you felt the pull of gravity on you. By instinct, you reached out to hold onto him for dear life, letting out a shriek of surprise as you crashed onto the water below.

Thankfully, the fall was over in seconds. Azul coughed and shakily whispered, "A-ahem, are you alright Angelfish?" he murmured, though with your ear right next to his chest, it seemed he wasn't really alright himself.

Jade doesn't really plan as much as azul, but he does come pretty prepared

briefly learns about what rides and restaurants there are and considers your taste all the while

you brought a cute but small bag that couldn't hold a lot of stuff? no worries! your boyfriend is used to hiking with minimal packing

he can help you carry all your essentials and not have it affect him at all!

his headband of choice:

ok so apparently moray eels eat flounder fish? so I believe this silly eel would find great pleasure in wearing this headband (even better if you're wearing the ariel headband to match)

he's definitely more into the thrilling rides, but he's very happy to sit along for whatever ride you'd like

he's really really good at the buzz lightyear astro blaster, but his favourite is definitely haunted mansion for the chilling atmosphere and the way you clung onto him while convincing yourself everything was fine

whispered things in your ear to calm you, but he definitely tried to spook you a few times bc of how cute you were

your man is a foodie ok, the way his eyes sparkle when he stares at some street food other guests are holding is telling

he's absolutely interested in all of the disneyland food though, so apple caramel churros from le fou's shop, popsicle sticks from food stands, baymax curry, etc.

wdym food's expensive? he's also rich from working with azul and his family background

also super attentive to you, oh you'll need to take off your headband for this ride? gently plucks it from your head and places it in his bag before you can even do it yourself

and oh dear, your hair is a bit messed up after space mountain, let me just brush your hair and smooth it out for you

gets ugly plushie keychains for azul and floyd as a joke saying "i think it quite resembles you, no?"

tall boi sees the parades really clearly and he lifts you up to eye level so you can enjoy the same view as him

and dw about the disappointment of other guests behind you because one eerie smile from your eel is enough for them to know your boyfriend is not to be messed with

overall a very food oriented visit, and plenty of moments where this teasing eel tries to make you flustered

"Oh, it seems we must take our headbands off for this ride as well," Jade mused as he observed the guests in front. In a quick, but gentle motion, he took off your headband and smoothed out your hair.

At your flustered expression, he merely chuckled as he reached up to take off his own, carefully placing both into his sturdy backpack.

"Come, my pearl," he said as he reached out a hand to you. "Should you be afraid any moment, feel free to hold onto me," he teased, his eyebrows furrowed as his eyes glinted in amusement.

Floyd is very much going with the flow and sees where you/ his energy wants to take him

did no research at all because his Shrimpy can be his tour guide hehe~

also brought minimal stuff, but he definitely takes a moment to show off his new shoes that he bought recently to go on the date

given his mood swings, it's not a great idea to line up for 30 mins plus, particularly if there's minimal air-conditioning

so definitely fast pass where available, water bottles and mini electric fans

also consider downloading some 2-player mini games on your phone to kill time

his headband of choice:

he finds the "rubber duckies so cute and squishy! just like Shrimpy!" and chip and dale in sunglasses just gives off a memeish chill vibe

you can't convince me this man doesn't consume stupid memes

once he's tried one thrilling ride, he basically demands to ride all of the thrilling ones

runs off to the next one and pulling your hand to catch up because he memorized the map smh

absolute menace when it comes to teacup rides

like you are not walking straight after that intense spinning all the better because he gets to hold you and support you

he will be a menace again and push you in front during the baymax cool down parade so you'll get wet

but you can't stay mad at him for too long when he's laughing so innocently

okay maybe slap him on the shoulder a bit

absolutely gets the electric fans with the water sprays, and attacks you with sprays of water

laughs at you whenever you get scared in haunted mansion, but also "don't worry" because he likes protecting his Shrimpy

funny selfies from weird angles or everything's just a blur

also it's very convenient to have a big scary eel glare at the other guests to convince them to line up another time :)

in conclusion this menace of an eel will without a doubt have a blast stringing you along to his shenanigans, and you find yourself laughing with him all the way

"Ahahaha! That was sooo fun~" Floyd exclaimed as he got out of the teacup. The world continued to spin though the ride had long come to an end. You felt Floyd reach out and help you out of the ride, and you leaned into his touch for help as if you were drunk.

"Hahaha, Shrimpy's all dizzy!" he giggled. "You wanna go again?" As soon as the words registered in your mind, you turned to look in his general direction to glare at him, but maybe your direction was off or you just didn't look intimidating enough, because he just laughed even harder.

"Okayy, okayy, let's do another ride," he said as he began leading you to the exit. "Your choice this time then, where d'ya wanna go Shrimpy?"

Masterlist

if you liked this post, don't forget to reblog!

[dear-ao3]

absolutely, completely and in all other ways OUTRAGED that @wearewatcher did not include dr. heinz doofenshmirtz on their list of disney dilfs.

is he technically from disney channel? yeah. does that matter? no. is he better than pongo and maurice and king triton? absolutely.

and i will tell you why.

as we all know, doofenshmirtz had a horrible upbringing:

-his own parents didnt show up for his birth -he had to throw his own surprise party -big black boots boris the bully kicked sand in his face -a kid outshined him at a science fair with a baking soda volcano -his mom wouldnt let him swim in pools -his dad won a dog and said it was the son he never had and named it only son -had to wear dresses to school -he smelled like pork ?? idk this one doesnt get explained -his brother was better at kickball than him -his brother got the teddy bear he got out of a claw machine and it ruined the family dynamic -he couldn't make pretzels -he failed as a magician -his first date was ruined -he lost a girl to a dude with big hands -has no coordination -accidentally ended up in america? -lived with a family of ocelots ??? -he had to be a garden gnome -was always thwarted and outshined by his brother roger

yea you get the idea

but does he pass any of this down to his daughter, vanessa??

no! he does not!

-he actually takes his daughters advice -he is a fantastic single dad and makes a good life for her (and supports her being goth. very important.) -he is civil with his ex wife also (which helps vanessas childhood) -he brings vanessa to work and tries to bring her into the family business -he wants his inators to be fun for her as a learning experience -he always gives her extravagant birthday parties !!! esp her sweet 16!!! -he does not direct his negative feelings towards his daughter ever, its always towards perry -he spends 10 years looking for a discontinued mary mcguffin doll!!! for her!!

and so on

instead of being horribly to his daughter he rather brilliantly uses his arch nemesis (perry the platypus) as a free therapist (rather ingenious in this economy) and channels his childhood trauma into creating his inators in order to take over the tri state area.

so hes definitely dedicated, knows his way around a toolbox and programming (valuable skills in the technology age), broke through the stigma of generational and childhood trauma, and hes just a little bit evil. as a treat. at least in terms of ryans criteria he is a fantastic dad. and that is what we are judging the dilfs on.

so in conclusion. @wearewatcher. why isnt dr. heinz doofenshmirtz on the top 5 disney dilfs list???