#Sorry i felt autistic today it will happen again

[spideryspade]

Woozy Winks is described multiple times as the apple of Plastic Man's eye, Plas gets extremely upset whenever something happens to Woozy, to the point of not being able to concentrate on his job, Plas has described Wooz as his boy friend in a disguise, they even share a bed on and off screen,

[reidsaurora]

Hi hi hi I’ll take one leo birthday cake because we are leo baby twins with the prompt “you bought me flowers?” And Spence as a character. But since we are leo babies can I add a sprinkle of enemies to lovers co-workers??

grecy love, i am so so sorry this took so long to post 😭 i had every intention of posting this on your birthday and then writer's block happened and depression happened and health problems happened and it was a whole thing 😭💔 but i hope you enjoyed what i whipped up!! 🫶🏻

"Birthday Bouquet" ~ S. Reid

pairing: autistic!spencer reid x gn!reader

summary: "of two things you were certain: the first, you couldn't stand spencer reid; the second, he was the only person who remembered your birthday."

word count: 1,516

warnings: a lil angsty with a hint of miscommunication trope, mild swearing, i believe that's all!

genre: angst to fluff

extra notes: the end of this was rushed i won't lie, i pray you can all forgive me for that lol; the dividers in this post are from @anlian-aishang as always 🫶🏻

beta read by: @theghouligan and @dungeons-are-too-cold (love you both so so much 🥰)

birthday bash | masterlist | ask box

🧁 Leo Baby Birthday Cake - send me a character + a prompt from this list and i'll write you a blurb!

Of two things you were certain: the first, you couldn't stand Spencer Reid; the second, he was the only person who remembered your birthday.

You tried to cut your colleagues some slack. You were away on a case, after all. Everyone was probably busy dealing with their own shit, not to mention how rough it had been the past 48 hours working on the case. But still, not a single person had so much as wished you a happy birthday, and it wasn't until he caught you alone at the hotel that Spencer said anything.

After a long day of geographical profiling and visiting dump sites, all you wanted was to take a long shower and sleep as much as you could before another long day tomorrow.

At this point, you weren't sure if you even cared about your own birthday anymore. A full night's sleep was the only thing on your birthday wishlist currently. But when you walked into your hotel room and spotted that vase of red and white tulips, your jaw nearly dropped to the floor.

Clearly, someone had remembered, you just weren't sure who. So, naturally, you picked up the card, brows furrowing as you registered the all-too-recognizable chicken scratch handwriting on the back of it.

"These variegated flowers are one in a hundred thousand, but you are the only one of your kind. Happy birthday." - S. R.

Your heart flipped as you processed the words, a happy but surprised tear threatening to fall from your eye.

"Do you normally leave your door open for strangers?"

You turned to face Spencer, his signature sideways smile tugging at his lips. "You bought me flowers?" you asked in shock, your eyes meeting his.

He shifted awkwardly from one foot to the other. "I did," he admitted, eyes darting away shyly, "Happy birthday."

The exhaustion of the day must've had you unsure how to properly respond, because the next thing you knew, you were forcing back tears that were beginning to sting behind your eyes, and motioning him into your room. After he closed the door, you spoke again, your voice barely above a whisper. "You know, you're the only person who's told me that today."

His sideways smile quickly turned into a frown. "I'm sorry, Y/N." From what you could tell, he seemed sincere, which felt strange since he otherwise seemed to hate your guts.

You simply shrugged, deciding the pain was easy enough to deal with without his help. "I can't believe you remembered."

He gave a soft nod of his head. "Of course I remembered."

"I honestly thought you'd be the last person to remember. Although, you do have that eidetic memory, so-"

"I remembered," he corrected. "Actually remembered. I made a conscious effort to remember."

Your brows furrowed, confusion swirling around in your mind and muddling your thoughts. You wondered why Spencer, your sworn enemy, would take the time to remember your birthday? Why would he allow even the smallest of crevices in his brain to be consumed by thoughts of you?

"What? I thought you hated me…" your voice trailed off, your eyes darting to look at the flowers, the ground, anywhere but his gaze.

You could almost hear the hurt and confusion in his voice when he spoke again. "I never hated you. If anything, I always thought you hated me."

You sighed, figuring you might as well tell him the truth. "I did. I mean, you're always correcting me. You won't even look at me half the time. I don’t think you’ve ever accepted one of my hugs or even a handshake for that matter. And just last week, when I tried to offer you one of my crackers from the vending machine, you looked like you were gonna throw up. I mean -"

"Y/N," he said with a soft chuckle. Your gaze shot up to meet him and that familiar look of discomfort took over his expression.

"Why are you laughing?" you asked, confusion racing through your mind.

"Because," he laughed again, a little louder this time, "I never hated you, Y/N. I just… I'm autistic."

You looked away again with slow blinks, burying your face in your hands. Embarrassment and guilt filled your gut, and you were honestly unsure how you hadn't connected the dots sooner. "I'm such an ass."

He pulled your hands away from your face, and you were quite shocked, considering how much the man hated physical touch. "It's okay. You couldn't have known. I don't really tell anybody because some people think it'll slow them down on the field or in the office."

A pout formed on your lips at the thought. Sure, you were sworn enemies with the man—or so you'd thought—but you could never imagine someone being mean to him like that.

Your hands fidgeted as you thought about what to say next, but if you had to be truthful, you weren't really sure what you could say. You wanted to kick yourself for being an ass, for creating an environment where Spencer felt like he couldn’t be open with you. But mostly, you currently wanted to kick yourself for noticing how pretty he looked at that moment.

"You still there?" he chuckled, hands sliding into his pockets.

Your shoulders shrugged again as you brought yourself back to reality. "Yeah," you answered, probably a little too quickly. "Um, thank you for the flowers, they're lovely."

In a couple swift motions, you were all but shoving him out of your room. "Wait-" he began to protest as you started to close the door.

"It's late, we should sleep. Not together!" you panicked over your words. "I just mean we should both get some sleep before the flight home tomorrow. In our own respective rooms. Our respective rooms in this hotel, that is. Obviously you can't go home and rest in your bedroom. That's what the flight is for!" With every word that flew out of your mouth, you cringed harder. Finally, you settled on telling him, "Good night, Reid," before finally getting him out the door.

Your back rested against the now closed door, fingers sifting through your hair as you attempted to collect your thoughts.

Why would you think Spencer of all people was attractive all of a sudden? Up until two minutes ago, you thought he hated you. Up until two minutes ago, you hated him too.

Or maybe that's just what you'd been telling yourself…

A subtle tap against the door had you coming up for air yet again. You made a mental note to tell your therapist about your sudden bout of brain fog.

As he did before, Spencer stood on the other side of the door, hands fidgeting and eyes struggling to maintain contact with yours.

"Can I kiss you?" he all but blurted out.

Either this was a dream or your ears deceived you. There was no way Spencer Reid, the guy who wouldn't even shake hands with people, wanted to kiss you. Or wanted to kiss you. "What?"

"You just… you look really pretty and you seem nervous, and kissing actually produces endorphins, which help relax the body. Although, I guess hugging works the same way, but kissing spreads less pathogens than hugging, and- now I'm rambling, aren't I?"

He must've caught the nervous giggle you were struggling to hold back. "Yeah, you do that a lot. But it's okay. It's kind of endearing."

His face went fully red at your comment. "So… is that a yes?"

You gave him a nod, though you couldn't shake the anxiety in the pit of your stomach. Your hands moved to his cheeks, pulling him down for a slow kiss. It felt like electricity pumping through your veins, butterflies swirling around in your tummy, and just about every other cliche you could think of. His kiss was intoxicating, and if you hadn't needed to come up for air, so to speak, you probably would've stayed there like that all night.

He leaned his forehead against yours, his jaw nearly dropping to the floor. "Woah," he exhaled with all the amazement of a kid at an amusement park.

"Woah," you copied. You couldn't help the smile that appeared on your lips. "I can't believe that just happened."

"Me either," he admitted with a nervous shrug. "But… I wouldn't mind doing it again."

You let out a shaky exhale, resting your forehead against his. "Well, for future reference, you don't have to ask. That was… woah."

"So, I can just-"

Without warning, he pulled you in for another kiss, and the butterflies fluttering around in your stomach multiplied tenfold.

He pulled away, scratching at the back of his neck. "Sorry. I just really enjoyed that."

You gave him a soft smile as you wrapped your arms around him, pulling him closer for a soft hug. "I did too."

"So I can just keep kissing you? Over and over? As much as I want?"

You nodded against his chest. "That's the plan now, I guess."

"Woah."

You giggled against him, warmth filling you from head to toe. "Woah, indeed."

-> taglist: @lowsodiumfreaks67 @drayshadow @alexxavicry @nomajdetective @kbakery @leigh70 @darkloverfox @sammyrenae68 @cherrycandle @asgardprincess97 @gh0stgurl @esposadomd @randomwriter1021 @eddieharrington @lunar-affection @givemeth @lavhoes @rhyanishere @cat-lockwood @danielle143 @marsmallow433 @handsupforamiracle @topguncultleader @mente-sindescanso @reverieofmgg @spencer-reids-adventures @ah-blossom @encyclo-reid-ia @reidselle @thevisionthedream @dungeons-are-too-cold @louderfortheback @reidsbookclub @annahalstead5021 @cwritesforfun @maelartasch @buckyyyismahhlife @cynbx @hellooitsrose @lover-of-books-and-tea @therealrazortai

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for snapping at my brother for taking his iPad to the bathroom? (I don’t think this is unsanitary despite the subject matter but idk)

Sorry for the long post !

Context: There are three bathrooms in our house. One downstairs, one upstairs and one ensuit in our parents room that neither of us use. He is mid to early teens and autistic, I am late teens and (as much as I know) neurotypical. I don’t know if this impacts anything, but i also don’t know much about autism. I don’t *think* it does but mum keeps letting him get away with this because of his diagnosis so it feels important to include.

Everytime he uses the upstairs toilet he brings his iPad with him and his headphones. He sits in there and watches YouTube and it takes him half an hour every time.

I only use the upstairs toilet because the downstairs one grosses me out to the extreme for reasons I don’t want to get into, (I honestly think it’s becoming phobic, I won’t walk past it if the door is open or even breathe if I’m near it,) but this issue is isolated to me and everyone else is fine with it. He is fine with using both. He also knows I only use the upstairs toilet.

He says he gets bored so he has to have his iPad when he goes. Yes, every single time, he gets bored and needs his iPad with him. I find this ridiculous, and ironic. Now instead of taking maybe five minutes he takes half an hour. I ask him again and again and again not to take his iPad in because it’s insensitive to if I might want to use the bathroom, but he doesn’t change.

We have had this same conversation over and over again, like, over twelve or eighteen months, and he keeps promising that he’ll change and then he doesn’t. It makes me upset how content he is to continue even knowing very well how it upsets me.

We had a really big fight about it awhile ago and mum suggested he try not to use the iPad when he thought I wasn’t likely to need to go to the bathroom, because that’s apparently as much as he can bear to do. He said he’ll try to use the downstairs toilet instead and because my dad uses that toilet he’s been getting in trouble with him for the exact same reason.

Sometimes when I knock on the door I’ll ask “do you have your iPad” and he’ll say no but when he comes out he does. He doesn’t have any qualms about lying to me and about breaking the same promise he makes over and over. It’s like he doesn’t care what I think at all and like he doesn’t view my problems as valuable. It’s literally the only thing I ask of him.

AITA: Today, he lied to me again. I knocked on the door and told him to hurry up and he said ok and I asked if he had his iPad in with him and he went strangely quiet and then said I’m coming out. when he came out he didn’t have his iPad so I thanked him because I finally felt he was listening to me, but he was lingering weirdly by the door. I HATE warm toilet seat so I gave it awhile and he went downstairs. He happened to come up while I was about to go in and he looked at me strange and I said “what? Why are you staring at me?” And he said no reason but I pressed it and he said “can I check the bin?”

In the bathroom we have a small bin that just got emptied today. He told me he had taken his iPad in there and had hidden it in the bin. I was peeved he had lied to me again and also that he had no problem with taking my thanks. If I hadn’t caught him trying to get it back he never would have told me.

So I said no and when I was finished I kind of snapped and told him I thought he was becoming a “nasty, selfish person.” It’s the only thing I ask of him and Im so tired of it. I felt especially upset the extent he would lie to me so easily. It seems like nothing gets through to him, and it’s like, I can’t help feeling he is a nasty selfish person!! I probably would have said more and said worse if dad hadn’t caught on to what we were talking about. Upon reflection I feel like I shouldn’t have said those things to him and I was being too harsh.

My brother apologized but I’m so sick of it and even after all this he said he would use the downstairs bathroom. It feels like he’s not making any effort to actually change the behaviour and he’s avoiding confronting it. I’m so tired of all of this.

AITA? I really don’t know what to do, but I feel like I’m being too mean about it.

Tldr: my brother always takes his iPad to the bathroom even though I ask him not to and he takes way too long on the toilet (up to half an hour) each time. This has been going on for months upon months and he’s showing no change even though he keeps apologizing and promising he will. Today, he lied and said he hadn’t and I thanked him because I felt he was finally listening but he had hidden his iPad in the bin. I snapped and said he was a “nasty selfish person” but I think I was being too mean.

What are these acronyms?

[mireilol]

Autistic Man

Hey guys,it's Mirei

I want to write a blog post today to expose another part of myself to you all

I'm gonna call this blog post

Autistic man ...

Just to say this upfront already

I am an autistic woman

And have had autism my whole life

I just didn't know what was wrong with me my whole life till I asked a professional recently

So,I know what it's like internally and externally what autism is 🧠

And I want to find this within the next man I speak to romantically

Dangerous

So,I am well aware of how dangerous this ambition is...

There are Alot of red flags in this world already who have autism and even worse mental health conditions

But I still have hope because I am living proof that autism can be managed and or put into work on bettering yourself

I am also aware that Autism shows differently depending on your gender too (etc )

I've been doing Alot of recapping on my history with men and I do believe now that they may have been autistic as well and I shouldn't have pushed them away as quickly as I did ...

I know now that any and everyone has their own issues to work out because everyone's has a story and have been through some things that genuinely needs time to fix

Work

Now,the work that I will be putting into a relationship with a man like this is going to be ten times harder than the average relationship...

I know autistics have ticks and triggers

My own triggers is usually from traumatic experiences or I feel a new trauma is ripping into my brain

Sorry I can't go into great details on all of my triggers because I feel it's too much for online to know but I've been in average relationships before and even while those were difficult I know i will have to step it up Alot more with an autistic man

His habits could be good,bad or a mixture of the two and I am hoping and praying his habits are a mixture of the two

I can work with a man who's comfortable showing his horns while trying to better himself

I'm really patient, understanding and caring

These three things are real strong when it comes to someone I love

Change

Change is so important in everyone's life

But I feel this change is going to be a very difficult challenge for autistics

The challenge to remain positive after new traumatic events happen

I know for me it will be a huge challenge because I've been in my own bubble for years now and never really leaving my household to make new friends or let men into my heart ...

I have had the desire to find new friends and a lover

But most days I just keep myself in a ball of fear because lots of people today judge you before getting to know you

And that alone is traumatizing for me...

But I know can jump back into the fray again

I find it Alot easier for me to talk to men online

I understand how dangerous that is ...

But that's the only way I've been talking to men the past few years of my life

And it has been making me very happy and feel loved

Something I haven't felt in a really long time

I was so convinced that I wouldn't feel love again after being hurt and hurting men ...

I'm learning that it's important to practice having an open mind and be inviting to new experiences

When I stepped a bit out of my comfort zone

My family wasn't ready for that so they reacted to it in a not so positive way but after I dealt with the trauma

I was able to pick myself back up again and look into the future and I can see myself being Alot happier as long as I keep reminding myself about positive things and being good to the people in my life and the new people I meet both online and in reality

Okay guys,I feel like I'm always rambling on these blogs but they really help me get some things about myself out onto the air for you and just to keep you guys updates on me and my thoughts 💕

Hope you liked it and I do want to write here more

I've got so much work to do and I try to squeeze content of me here and there

Thanks for reading and I will see you again soon ⭐

[theautisticfroglord]

Apologies

pairing: Henry x autistic!reader

fic type: enemies to lovers

submitted by @willow-the-lyxra (thank you :3 )

warnings: sensory issues (sound)

notes: thank you willow <3 me try to make an enemies to lovers fic without making y/n feel lots of sympathy challenge (100% fail) also I felt the need to make the reader have sensory issues bc it would work a bit also Henry autism real not fake

You were a new member of the Black Bulls magic knights squad, and you’re nervous as to what will await you. You heard that the squad is rude and you’re worried about them accepting you as who you are. You walk into the base with captain Yami, becoming even more nervous when you see some of them sparring with each other and some other things going on. You then squeak as you hear Yami slam his fist against the wall, almost breaking it. The room goes silent except for your panicked whimpers while you sit on the floor. Yami remembers you telling him that you’re autistic and you have sensory issues. He lightly crouches down.

“Jeez, sorry kid, I forgot. Are you okay?” you look up at him, surprised he’s being so nice to you. Then, the rest of the squadmates gather around you both. After you calm a little and stand up, you feel someone’s hand on your leg so you look down.

“Hi, my name’s Charmy, you want some?” she offers, rasing a bowl of cookies.

“A-alright, thanks…” you murmur as you shyly take one. The rest of the squadmates introduce themselves. You seemed to like all of them, they all had quirks and differences and you feel like you fit in with them. Once you finally introduce yourself, you suddenly feel a bit safer. Later, after you put all your stuff in your room and get your room cleaned and organized, you decide to look around. Suddenly, you feel uneasy for a moment walking down the hallway. You notice your magic draining and you wonder what’s happening. You sense someone’s magic so you turn around and you see someone, and you find out he’s the reason your magic’s being drained. You growl and run off from him, feeling startled and angry that he was doing that. You ran away so quickly that he couldn’t even talk or say hello. Later that day, it happens again.

“Go away! You’re draining my magic!” you yell at him. You were feeling angry that day.

“Sorry…” he says slowly before walking away. You were kind of feeling bad for yelling at him, but you were still upset that it happened again. You were exploring through the house still, though. Soon, it ended up happening another time.

“Just go away!! Who are you!?” you shout loudly, causing him to be startled. You start to notice him trembling and he sniffles softly.

“I’m… sorry… I didn’t… mean to… please…” he sobs. You realize you made a mistake, yelling at him like that.

“H-hey, I didn’t mean to yell… I’m sorry…” you came closer to him, getting a bit lightheaded from how he drained your magic.

“stay… away… I’ll drain… your magic…” he stepped away, scared of you getting angry again. He then ran off from you again. You started to feel really bad for making him cry like that. You didn’t mean to scare him. You also noticed he kind of acted like you around loud noises. The next day, you decide to encounter him. You collect magic items because you hyperfixate on them, and you remember this necklace you own that keeps some of your magic from being drained. You decided to wear it today and try to talk to this man that you kept seeing in the base. You go back to the area you always see him in, and you start to feel your magic being drained, but a much smaller amount. He sees you and immediately steps back.

“N-no, don't worry, I have this. It’ll keep my magic from being drained,” you calmly stop him, and he stops trying to run away from you. You start to walk up to him as he stands in front of you nervously. You awkwardly reach out your hand to him.

“H-hi, my name’s Y/N, what’s yours?” you ask, still nervous because your magic is being slightly drained, also you’ve never seen someone with messy hair like his.

“My… name… is… Henry…” he murmurs. You notice how he talks slowly, but you don’t mind. You wanted to ask him so many questions.

“I… drain… magic from… people… because I’m… cursed…” he mumbles, fidgeting with his hands. It all made sense to you now.

“I’m sorry, Henry, I didn’t mean to yell at you…” you sigh, feeling ashamed for making him scared and being angry at him for something that wasn’t his fault. You both go back to his room and sit down on a still next to his bed.

“So… you’re… the new… member?” he asks, feeling intrigued about you.

“Y-yeah, I am. How long have you been here?” you ask.

“I’m the… first… squad member… I… believe…” you were surprised.

“Captain… Yami… found… me here… he… saved me…” you felt happy that Yami was such a caring person. You tell him about yourself and how you’re autistic and how you have sensory issues with sound.

“I’m… sensitive… to sound… too… that’s why… I started… crying…" Henry blushed a little, being embarrassed that he was overwhelmed before. You see his pretty gold eyes through his hair, causing you to blush a little, too.

“I’m sorry for making you cry…” you sweetly hold his hand in yours, and he lightly squeezes your hand.

“I’m… okay now… thank… you…” he mumbled. You talk for a little while after that. You then stand up.

“I have to go now… bye, Henry,” you then think for a second before leaning down. You then kiss Henry on the cheek, causing him to blush and stare into space.

“B..bye…” he stuttered adorably, being flustered that you did that to him. You knew this would turn into something wonderful.

[ionlytalktodogs]

Sorry for the shameless self promo but I’m actually not sorry at all, here’s some quick descriptions for my fan fiction if anyone feels like they’d like some new fan fics to read.

The Art of Cooking - Literally horrible Breaking Bad x Hannibal crossover. Everyone is OOC, the plot is elaborately put together but barely explained, nothing makes sense but it’s super fun and also hilarious. Plot: Will decides he’s sick of the FBI and takes his adopted daughter and TOTALLY platonic roommate (who he sleeps with and kisses with tongue) Hannibal Lecter across the country to take a job at the DEA. Hilarity ensues. 27k words, was updating every Sunday but I just posted the finale today.

Shatter Me (And Bring Me Together Again) - Kind of my pride and joy. For once I’m actually attempting to be good at writing fan fiction? Gasp. Also tons of head canons. Will and Hannibal are T4T. You cannot tell me otherwise. There’s a lot of metaphors in this too and like...an actual message. Just you wait, shit’s gonna go off the rails in the coming chapters. Synopsis: Years after the Fall, Will and Hannibal are working as international assassins until they realize someone is trying to kill them, and Alana and Margot. The four of them have to figure out who, but can they even trust each other? 7k words uploaded but 20k words written (and yet I haven’t even gotten to the core of the plot yet lmao), updates every Monday.

We’re Conjoined, I’m Curious Whether Either of Us Can Survive Separation - Weird, probably poorly written Hannibal short stories. Wrote a lot of these while severely concussed. You can probably tell. Enjoy. 4k uploaded but 31k written. Updates when I feel like it.

You Belong to Me - First Hannibal fan fiction I ever wrote. I had just started the show a week prior and I was coping hard. Didn’t have a good handle on the show, my head canons, or anything really so it’s not consistent with the rest of my writing. Poorly written but I actually think the plot is a bit compelling when you really get into it so...idk. Wrote the entire thing in three weeks (and had not finished s3 when I wrote it but I went back and rewrote some bits after finishing s3). Plot: It’s just the plot of the show completely rewritten. 44k words, completed.

This Is Home - Batfamily one shots. Started writing this during 2020, when I was 16, because I was coping immensely with some horrible shit going on in my life. I doubt I’ll ever update it and I even privated it for a while but it’s public again by popular demand. Who knows, maybe some day I’ll update it. Or at least upload what the rest of what I wrote for it. It’s not my best work and I’m not proud of it but it brought me comfort in one of the worst times of my life so, if you feel like that’s something you need, enjoy. 4k words uploaded, 14k words written. Updates probably never but maybe someday.

Future fics to look out for:

Fugu - A Hannibal fan fiction I wrote entirely while very drunk. I have no idea what happens in it because I’m too afraid to reread it but if I ever get up the nerve then I’ll post it. My roommate read it and says it’s fantastic but I don’t trust him. 14k words, completed.

Adam - Literally just rewriting the movie Adam because I’m autistic and I felt like it could've been better but it kinda turned into a Hannibal AU. 1k words currently but I’m still working on it for whatever reason.

Meat and Bonbons - Wip name lmao. Blood and Chocolate x Hannibal...crossover? AU? God only knows. Will is a comic artist from America researching Lithuanian werewolves (Vilkacis). Hannibal is a Lithuanian werewolf. They fall in love. 5k words, I’m working on it. I’ll probably start uploading chapters when I have around 10k words.

Oh and in case you’re wondering, in total I’ve written around 140k words of Hannibal fan fiction since I was introduced to it in October. No I’m not okay.

[bwabys-scenarios]

I’m sorry for upsetting you but had to share my feelings on the matter when I was not the only one who felt that way. No excuses or guilt meant but literally just explaining myself and how hurt I was by being what I felt was a clique. Not saying it was or is but again, that is how I feel.

I’m probably just talking to air at this point but oh well 🤷‍♀️ /nm

If you know who left months ago that was active and a lowkey friend why not reach out to them??? The fact you feel the need to go off when someone felt left out and hurt many, many times is telling enough. Whether it’s online or real life that type of thinking of “whatever not my fault people don’t talk or not my problem people feel that way” is not going to end up well ; take it from someone who has fucked around and found out. There’s a difference between stretching yourself thin of course and having empathy. You’re not a therapist and no one should be still, People are still people behind the screen and yes it’s hard to know how to react or what to say or if something gets misinterpreted. Still, why blame people for coming to you feeling upset? And just like, allowing it to happen?? It’s not about people only talking to you on discord or blogs but about as a leader of it allowing them to feel welcome and trying to understand them. With Asperger’s it’s hard for me, but I do try my very hardest to understand when I sure don’t. again I am probably just talking aloud right now and this might be met with more defensiveness. I’m sorry and it isn’t my intention.

Anyway. I wish you well on your writing ventures, blog, and your personal life.

H, if this is you come off anon and talk to me, or message me. Because if you’re the person I’m THINKING of, then you left today. I don’t know about anyone else, so maybe my assumption is wrong.

And they could have reached out to me! It goes both ways! I don’t want to bother people, if they left I usually assume it’s because they didn’t like being in a discord with so many people or I bored them because I’m usually pretty focused on one thing and that’s understandable.

Yeah I’m going to be defensive when people try to insinuate I don’t have empathy what does that mean? Huh?

That is… so weird to me. THIS IS JUST SOCIAL MEDIA. This is weird of you to say, especially to a fellow autistic person! I gave an explanation, sorry if it came off as rude, I have trouble with tone and people usually see me as aggressive or defensive when I try to explain myself, which other autistic people probably understand.

Like this is really upsetting I’ll be honest, if you’re who I think you are I was really enjoying talking with you and looking forward to vcing with you tomorrow, and this stuff actually breaks my heart and HURTS. Why do I have to assume you have some grievance with me when you could just message me or be direct? I can’t read minds, honestly this really hurts and it’s probably the first time I’ve cried in a long time. I’m usually not the kind of person to say how much some things hurt me but the fact that you did this through anon instead of going straight to me hurst my heart.

If you still want to talk things out message me. Because this hurts, and I don’t want to stop being friends if you’re who I think you are. I woke up to thee messages at 1 am after falling asleep at around 11 pm, and they just made me feel… sad.

[homestuck-stories]

👀

If its no trouble could you do something with either John, dirk, or beta bro (your choice!) With a partner who's autistic and/or has DID?

Reader having a special interest in bugs(isopods specifically) and cult history. Doesn't really mask at all, Stims via flapping hands or doing the asl for applause, stomping their heel much like a rabbit does. Sometimes doesn't get jokes or catch sarcasm, takes things literally sometimes.

And with DID just deals with the amnesia, often forgetful, sometimes zones out hard-core (dissociation), talks to themselves softly cause they're talking to their alters.

Maybe how they met and got together or what its like during the relationship.

That is if you are ok doing this request! I understand if not ♡ thanks in advance!

Hey! I'm going to work with DID since I have more information related to that and I don't want to write about something I don't know about that may result on being offensive! ----------------------------------------------------------- You wake up. That's, at least, the feeling you have but you certainly are sitting on a table. Your right hand is grabbed by someone and that, at first, scares you. John is looking at you with a smile on his face, one that makes you feel good. That smile that is kind and caring type. —... I'm sorry. Was I out of...? You ask, knowing you may be interrupting something. It's typical that your alters distract you but sometimes it gets worse and they can be doing something important. But again, the only thing you know at this point is that John is taking your hand and that certainly feels good. —Don't worry, y/n. It was you, but you have zoned out for a while. You were having a conversation with... I think it was your persecutor. You were discussing something, I think. We are at a café. You feel embarassed. When that happens you feel the most vulnerable person because dissociating and talking to your alters usually doesn't come together. Today you are particularly vulnerable and it doesn't feel right when you may or may not be having a date. —How... Well, not how but what. What... What are we doing exactly?... John laughs a bit and, without hesitation, looks at his hand and then at you. You blush, because it's not usual for him to grab your hand and it's even less usual for you to deal with it. You deal better with your buggy friends, but with people is a little bit harder. —Don't worry. It has gone perfectly. We were having a date walking by the park and I was grabbing your hand because you were zoning out for a long time. And I thought that maybe you wanted to be on the date while it was happening, since we are here and we could share a drink. There is no berate on his voice. He is just trying to comfort you while explaining the situation, and it's working. —I think we should then make the most of the rest of the date, don't you think?... Like, if you don't want to it's okay but... You started confident but then, anxiety hit you a little bit. You felt like the floor may disappear below your feet but he smiled, like he usually did, and asked you. —Can I kiss you? I would have done it already, but I think it's more respectful to ask. Wow. WOW WOW WOW WOW DID HE JUST ASK THAT? WOW. You feel dizzy. How can you answer to that? Your alters start talking, most of them as confused as you are. Your persecutor says he is trying to embarass you but your protector, trying to normalize the situation, told you to answer as you wished. If you felt like John was that person for you, it was okay to kiss him. It was a date and he asked, so... Instead of asking, you start approaching him. You close your eyes and suddenly feel a hand in your cheek. Caressing it, John tries to make it easier to enjoy this. And with a kiss you feel finally the agency coming back to you. Now, let's enjoy the date! ---------------------------- I hope you liked it! Thanks for the request again. I chose John only because I thought he may be more understanding since he is dealing with his own mental health, so... But you can keep them coming if you have more! I tried to mention the isopods but honestly I don't know how to introduce the idea without being like too specific! Have a nice day, a better week and an amazing year!

[vizthedatum]

The worst part of neurodivergent-neurodivergent relationships is when we can't see eye-to-eye. Does this happen to other people?

Most of my friends have always been neurodivergent - it took me a long time to notice that my friend group ended up being that way time and time again. It has been a source of comfort... but when we can't see eye-to-eye, it feels so miserable.

And due to my trauma, I'll admit that I've been severely disappointed that people couldn't "just see things from my perspective and how dare they hurt me like that" and stuff. I'm trying to work on that - everyone has their own perspective. At this point in my life, I expect people in my life to work on their empathy, emotional regulation, and clear/transparent communication on their own... and then we can talk about how we feel with each other. I wish more people would step back when they feel the need to be aggressive towards someone they love when they feel so strongly about something.

I expect self-awareness and respect from my friendships. Everyone is going through struggles, but I am DONE being abused even if I did something wrong. I can work on repairing or trying to approach things in a different way, but I also expect better communication and respect.

If you have an issue with me, say it to my face AFTER you make the decision NOT to purposefully tear me down emotionally/physically. I need empathetic conflict resolutions - not full-blown abusive fights.

:/

I lost a friend today. It was a mutual decision towards the end - even though she did break up with me first out of anger. I believe it's because of misaligned expectations - and she went into an emotionally abusive tirade against me. I cannot tolerate any more emotional abuse, especially when it's malicious and aggressive. I, of course, get that people get hurt and disappointed... I think that's different. My past self would have blamed myself a lot and fawned. I wish I did things different - I'm sorry let me fix everything - I'm sorry I couldn't read your mind - I'm horrible. But I wasn't horrible. I did the best I could given that situation. I would have been okay if she could express her anger/frustration/grief/etc. about our situation instead of straight-up insulting my transness, my identity, my friends, my ex-spouse, my partner, etc.

This whole year (as is typical for people trying to heal from narcissistic abuse), I've been reevaluating the connections in my life. I've broken up a lot of friendships because I'm really getting in touch with how I feel/felt and if those friendships were mutually beneficial to our health/life/journey. I can love someone, and they can love me... but that doesn't mean that a friendship or relationship will always work.

I'm learning how to interact with people again while:

unmasking and learning how to embrace my own personal autistic traits in a world that does not cater to those traits

integrating the traumatized parts of myself

learning - I am always learning about the world and about myself

coming out as trans and figuring out what that means to me. I feel like I come out every day now.

fucking up majorly. I am not perfect, and I do mess up. I *have* been the asshole in relationships due to a lack of self-awareness and a lot of ignorance and immaturity. My feelings do get in the way. I can take accountability for that.

I am proud of myself. I know I'm protecting myself. I can see how much I've grown. I deserve friendships where people can communicate and set boundaries accordingly. I get that people disappoint each other. I get that my behavior is disappointing sometimes. I accept that not everyone has to get along - and it doesn't have to be ugly if people don't align.

[intersex-questions]

shallow vagina anon: thank you so much for your advice, i hadn't thought of averaging out measurements. im autistic so i rlly appreciate clear actionable advice lol. i just wanted to like. explain? vent? about my situation? sorry for tmi about my genitals?

i went to my doctor today (who is actively pro-trans which is nice) and talked to him about it. he suggested i try dilators which i might but he also recommended that i go to a gyno to have them check it out, which ill have an appt for in two weeks. i've been trying to figure this out for a few days because i just recently was like "this probably is very abnormal" and i didn't want to like, jump to any random conclusions. & everywhere says feeling "too tight" is a common problem so i'm like cool! except none of the common answers seem to fit whats going on with me!

its not an issue of natural dryness, and i also have used lube anyways. its not an issue of relaxation, which i dont have trouble with. its not an issue of preparation/foreplay. its not an issue of fear. i don't even completely avoid penetration; tampons were uncomfortable but i only used one twice because the threat of toxic shock made me stressed. any kind of penetration gets uncomfortable (w/ enough lube a finger is fine, two if im turned on, but even after a certain point it starts hurting & generally leaves a slight pain/ache afterwards) and an average penis leaves noticeable pain for a while afterwards. there aren't any muscle spasms. Everything seems as wet and squishy and elastic as you'd expect. i've been on T for a year but i've been like this since i started messing around w/ my cunt and always felt confused why people enjoyed penetration so much; its only recently i was stubborn enough to ignore the pain just to go for it cause i figured it was probably more or less normal for it to hurt. the only way i can describe it is really that i just feel like its too tight, not so much that nothing can get it but enough that it feels like they shouldn't be getting in yk? but again i just figured, penetration is what this organ is made for, so this is probably normal. even though i've heard so many times that sex shouldn't hurt, once i found out how to get any pleasure from it i was like "oh so the pain probably doesn't matter if it can also feel good."

so i just. don't know what to think i guess. i really don't want to waste time and energy if its something common but it just doesn't seem like anything that is common describes what i've experienced? i got my period regularly pre-T & didn't have any signs of virilization, but all the more uncommon explanations for this say that it generally comes alongside not ever menstruating, so i just. feel very lost right now and confused about what the fuck is up with me. i feel really torn between "its probably something normal and you're probably reading way too deep into this" and "this really seems like its something abnormal and i am right to be getting this checked out." thank you for advice + reading this, i hope you have a good day

Oh if you're on testosterone it's almost definitely vagina atrophy. Warning that this refers to it as something that happens to women/females. It sounds scary but it's not. I experience it as well, before T (due to hyperandrogenism) and worse after starting T for HRT.

Higher levels of testosterone can cause vagina atrophy, in people born with hyperandrogenism and people who go on testosterone HRT. It's super common but not well-known about.

Locally applied estrogen cream or the Nuvaring/generic alternatives (or other birth control with estrogen put inside the vagina) can help reduce vaginal atrophy help with it. Talk to your doctor about it.

Vaginal atrophy is normal for those on T HRT and not uncommon but less normal for those not on it.

[lucysweatslove]

Where I’ve Been, Pt 3:

Sorry for dropping off the face of the earth for the last month. I’ve been overwhelmed with everything and reorganized priorities.

Still working on the whole med school thing. I have several more secondaries too complete but I needed a break because the essays were intense. I had like 10 to do for University of Minnesota and many that involved discussing racism. I know I’m not the most affected in any means but I get so mad about it that it does emotionally impact me when I have to write essays, so I needed some time to calm down from that too.

Also the board certifying my residency wants me to obtain records of my tuition from 2009-2011, like 9 years before I even claimed MT residency. I have no freakin clue why or how I even get the records. I emailed the school but who knows what will happens with that.

I was supposed to see In This Moment on 09/30 but it was rained out so I saw them last Sunday instead and it was incredible BUT I ended up disconnected from my best friend and that sucked.

My husband and best friend told me individually that they think I am autistic. Idk how I feel about this because it’s NOT a real diagnosis but they don’t really like each other so when they both come to a conclusion individually there’s usually some truth to it. I don’t want to push the matter with my doctor because workup is $$ and intense and it probably won’t actually help me anyway. As in, it’s not like it would change anything in my treatment plan. It doesn’t change how my friends and husband treat me, either. It would explain some parts of my world, but I don’t want to self-diagnose or label myself without a diagnosis because I don’t want to ever take away from autistic voices. So I just don’t know what to do with my two closest loved ones thinking this about me.

Median home prices around here are bordering $1mil.

I saw my PCP this week and even though I’m a couple pounds heavier than our last meeting, she told me I was “doing really well.” Last year my cholesterol was low (high enough HDL) but my triglycerides were kinda high. I thought this was from a steady diet of HiChews a few weeks before I got my labs drawn. This year my triglycerides were down and my cholesterol was up a bit but still normal. She was thrilled and actually told me that my cholesterol was low enough last year that it was giving dietary restriction vs this year it seems more consistent with like, actually eating enough. I’ve never told her my FULL ED history but I marked it in my history report so she knows but has never made it into a Big Deal which I appreciate.

I got both my flu shot and COVID booster on Tuesday and it killed me. Not really but I felt awful for a couple days.

I might get discharged from PT soon!! Deadlifts have historically triggered the spasms the most so we have been trying to get back into it. We don’t have real barbells in the PT office, but on Monday, I did 96# on this machine that isn’t perfect but we simulated wide leg deadlifts and it wasn’t too heavy. I’m going to try real deads in the gym hopefully today and if all goes well without any pain/spasm, I get to go back to the gym and lift heavier weights again although I’m weak AF now.

I got super into skincare again and re-organize what I call my skin care-ousel (carousel but it’s skin care) with cute 10ml droppers and airless pumps and stuff. It looks really cute.

I posted selfies but I dyed my hair and I love it. I feel so much more like when my hair is black.

[oncominggstorm]

My sister & I are both autistic and both share a special interest in Doctor Who (I got into it first, about 3-4 years before she did).

She has a HORRIBLE habit of texting me her live reactions whenever she watches something, even when she KNOWS I have not yet watched whatever it is she's texting me about.

Whenever she does this, I tell her yet again to stop doing it, and suggest that in the future she type her reactions into notes app and then send me the note. That way, she can still share her reactions without feeling like she has to bottle up her excitement, but I can wait to read them until after I've watched the episode so I don't get spoiled. Every time, she refuses and just texts them to me anyway.

She did this today with the new episode of Doctor Who. I've been sick and was still trying to sleep while the episode aired, so she watched it first and I woke up to lots of texts about it. I am HEARTBROKEN that she spoiled it for me. It feels like a gut punch, or like I was a balloon that was suddenly deflated.

I explained to her that I was upset, and asked her to apologize and promise to not do it again. She refused, and got upset at ME and said that I was purposefully trying to bring down her joy and excitement.

Word for word copy/paste of our text convo about it under the cut if you want more context/want to see exactly what was said:

Me: Am extremely unhappy because you texted me a million dw things and just from skimming push notifs I can see that SEVERAL of them are things that I would consider spoiler-y which is why I have told you HUNDREDS of times to NOT live text thoughts, and idk why you thought it’d be ok for this episode of all things. Like I have explained to you multiple times that we have very different definitions of spoiler-y Me: Like one of the MANY MANY MANY reasons why I hate when you live text things I havent watched is cuz your reactions to things are very different than mine, and so I see your reactions & make assumptions about what’s gonna happen, and then when it doesnt meet those expectations I get disappointed. Vs if I hadnt seen your reactions I’d have had no expectations & thus would’ve felt ONLY excitement. Me: Your reactions to things are ALWAYS over the top/make things seem even more amazing than they are, so when I see them my expectations get set REALLY high, so then what I watch only ever meets (or in some cases, fails to meet) expectations. Whereas you get the pleasure of having it exceed expectations. But I don’t, because seeing your reactions sets my expectations much higher than they would otherwise have been. Like I get you are excited, I do. But there is absolutely NO REASON WHATSOEVER that you can’t put your reactions in a note & send me the note, rather than text, so that I can remain spoiler free. Her: My reaction to this was TAME. Me: It feels like you are purposefully trying to miss my point/like you are not at all sorry about what you did, & it is really upsetting me. Like do you seriously not realize how not at all ok texting me all that was when you KNEW i hadnt seen the episode yet? Her: I feel like you are purposefully ignoring everything I said earlier about how I literally felt like I was about to die and needed an outlet, and I feel like you are purposefully trying to ruin my excitement and bring me down so

[straycatboogie]

2023/07/23 English

BGM: P-MODEL - BIKE

Today I worked early. TBH an event I shouldn't write clearly had happened. I just say that it was a really serious one, therefore I had to work busy to try to solve that. My mind couldn't fit for today's work. I could talk to the facility manager, and he said I could "rely on" him completely. Thanks to him, I started my work but I even thought that "I have to give up?". But I started trying to do my work steadily, then the atmosphere of the workplace and the duties I got "suited" me. That made me up. I was thinking if I should hide that trouble of mine because it seemed not related with my work, and also it was not a "cool" one. Really foolish... but, at the lunch time the manager called me and said "I called this town's police", and also "The officer might come to your workplace". I also called to the police and talked with them. I thought it must be an emergency state and I have to be hurry up. Then, I couldn't be the one who could judge if I could meet and talk to the officer during my work at the workplace. I worried about that, but I confessed to the elder co-worker with saying "stay foolish" to myself.

The co-worker said, "Oh my gosh! I'm gonna say about that to the manager", and she told that to her. That manager said to me that "If the officers came to us, it would become too serious. You can go out from here to the police office during the work". So I called to the police via my phone during the work that "I got the permission from my boss. I'm gonna go to there from now". Then they said "No, you can come here after the work as the schedule says. That's OK". After the work, I went to the office and talked about the trouble a lot again. A long day ended... and I found that everything seemed to be ended with no serious troubles even though we went to the police office. I am really feeling thankful for the facility manager. I can't be too thankful for him about this... But, although his efforts have been so great, I have to say about this. TBH I should move faster to solve this problem. But this caused from that I couldn't have had a certain contact with him. Therefore, at first I sent a LINE message to solve this. I should call him directly. That kind of positivity could be the key for me to solve this.

And... Thinking about this, I also have to be thankful for that co-worked because she listened to me. The story of my trouble... TBH I had thought that she would say "You are an idiot" or "You must be lazy"... Of course, this is a joke. But I have to admit that I had a suspicious mind therefore it disturbed the flexible communication. I should obey the spirit of "stay foolish", and try to make any conflict with anyone else. I have to be ashamed about this. But the autism disturbs the judgement of mine to understand what should be the "prober" situation to confess that kind of problem. I should "digest" the trouble I had with saying as "It is not related with our work" and "I don't wanna disturb anyone else"? I should share about that more actively to make a great relationship with them? I still can't see. But in this case even the police appeared actually. That would "disturb" my workplace's work. I can see that (I have that kind of "reading" or "understanding" abilities even though I am autistic). Therefore I confessed that. Today's trouble gave me an important lesson, so even though it must not cheap I felt that it must be a great opportunity.

Oh my gosh... I got really "expired" because of that trouble. Although I had to attend a ZOOM meeting about English conversation, but I couldn't (I'm REALLY sorry). I slept a lot. I started checking how many steps every day I am making by the app "エモパー", and it said to me that today I walked almost 20,000 steps (just today only). Oh, that's really so many... I couldn't write any poem. "Stay foolish"... I thought I should try to make some "practice" to throw myself to other person's chest like sumo wrestlers' training. Open my mind, and knock someone's door... I had tried to be nice, therefore the troubles like today's could happen. But, I won't say that "I should make enemies" or "I should try to be hated" because I don't want to make enemies wastefully. It can be a childish behavior. I just try to be myself naturally. And I think "the life of autistic people must be unproductive" and "terrible". I remember... I said to the officer that "I am an autistic person and living in a group home". I have to admit that I am a person within a minority group...

A Protest Song

Once I thought my death for resting That idea was like the songs of Sting But trust me, that wasn't cause I was arresting I just had believed that my life was a wasting

But now I can see I'm getting strong No, I'm still weak. I've been simply wrong This poem is for me a kind of protest song For what? I don't know. I just wanna ring a gong

A lot of "legendary bangers" in my mind, behind This poem is a trial to make mine, I've signed I wish you stay alive, and still trying to be kind

A sonnet is the style I've never enjoyed for a while Can I offer this for you to read? Your mind starts to drive? Yes, I'm naive. But I can't keep this within my mind's file

[one-abuse-survivor]

Hi i really dont know how to feel about my mom. Shes kinda abusive ig i mean she has hit me before and shes verbally abused me more times than i can count, but shes less worse than dad so i think i just have a soft spot for her and its like its killing me lmao. she just lost her mum, and she has to do it all alone. the whole planning, and dealing with the ashes and bills and so so so many phone calls. shes very stressed out atm, and as ive started work lately, i feel like we've become sm closer and idk i wish i could fully forget all the bad shes done to me so i can just relax when its good. she snapped at me last night twice, calling me horrible things and threatening to punch me and stuff, and ik shes so stressed out but it still hurts inside and idk how to feel about it all. im autistic and i see things pretty black and white, and shes a grey colour and its just difficult for me to process it all and form an opinion cos shes 'supposed' to be one or the other, not both. (ik this is a false thing dw haha ik people cant fully be bad and fully be good lol) she vented to me before work today telling me how bad dads treating her, like he only cares about himself and isnt helping her with her grief at all. he just sits in the living room all day ranting to her about transgender people and black people and politics and she hates it. (hes every -phobe and -ist you can think of lmao) i just dk how to help or how to feel or just anything lol. im having a hard time atm myself and its just so stressful to have to always be the grown up around my parents. i have to always stay calm, i have to be the mediator, i have to calm them and comfort them and offer them solutions for their problems, i have to be their parent and its exhausting. ik theyre both orphans rn but i feel its unfair to use your own kids as your 'new parents' lol. its always been like this but its just more so now than before. i just cant cut myself off from my mum as shes in charge of everything in the house, and shes my mum, yk? shes had the short end of the stick her whole life and i just want to hug her and protect her but she hurts me a lot and im just torn between wanting her away from me for the rest of my life and wanting to be as close to her as i can, for her sake. idk if it makes much sense lol but i hope youre doing well and thank you for all the time an effort you put into answering the asks 💕

Hi, nonnie! Sorry I took so long to reply. Everything you shared here makes perfect sense. It's always hard for abuse victims to come to terms with the fact their abusive parents aren't all black or white but grey, and I can only imagine how much harder that is to deal with when you're autistic. I'm really glad you understand she can be grey, even if it's hard to come to terms with. That's already a really big step you've taken, and I hope you're proud of that!

It really sounds like your parents have parentified you—that is, they've forced you to take on the parent role in the house, emotionally. When this happens, it's not uncommon to feel the way you express at the end of your ask: like even though they've hurt you, you want to take care and protect them for their sake. And I'm really sorry you're going through this, nonnie. It's a horrible way to feel, and I can really relate, because I felt that way with my mother as well.

I don't know if this will help to hear, but through recovery, I've found that the longer you stay away from that parent, the easier it becomes to not feel so worried about them, responsible for them, or guilty for leaving them. The guilt was especially crushing for me years ago, and now it's completely non-existent except on special occasions (mainly when I have to see her again for any reason).

And I know you probably already know this, at least deep down, but nonnie, your mom is abusive. Your dad being even worse than her doesn't change that fact. The fact that your mom has had it really hard in life might explain her abusive behaviours, but it doesn't justify them. They're both abusive in different ways, and you deserve so much better than the way both of them have been treating you.

Sending a big, big hug and all my support your way ❤️

[innocent-until-proven-geeky]

.

[dmitri-smerdyakov]

Thoughts on Secrets of Dumbledore - SPOILERS

So basically I have a cold/sore throat from screaming at kids for four days straight so I’m not actually well and I was so close to not going on opening day in the UK today (well, technically it’s Saturday now so it’s yesterday but still) because I feel rotten. But I had to - as someone known for their Fantastic Beasts obsession, and having waited for nearly four years, I wasn’t about to miss out on this film on opening day.

There was a lot going on and I’m not well so I may have missed some things out or even missed bits in the film, so please bear with me, I’ve tried my best to remember as much as possible and I’m also happy to answer any DMs or asks if people have questions! Also, I’ve tried to keep it as in order as it happened as possible, but again, I’m ill and have probably gotten mixed up in places!

So, here’s my post about the film. There are SPOILERS below the cut so please don’t open the post and then send hate to me because I spoiled the film because not only is it marked and tagged, it’s also under a read more! You’ve been warned!

⚠️ SPOILERS BELOW THE CUT! SPOILERS FOR THE NEW FANTASTIC BEASTS ⚠️

Firstly, let me take a moment to say FUCK JK ROWLING 🖕🏻 ANYWAY, moving on:

First of all, I liked SoD a LOT more than CoG. Like a LOT more. It felt more like the first film mixed with a bit of Harry Potter, and even used a LOT of the same soundtrack from the first film

This film was funny in place but also REALLY dark in others??? Like holy shit???

I’m not sure how long after CoG the film is set quite frankly but I’m pretty sure at one point they said that it was a month ago??? Or Lally said that a year ago was when Jacob met Newt??? But then Bunty says she’s been working for Newt for 8 years and however many days… I don’t know, I thought it was the 30s???

Also it’s Autism Acceptance Month and the fact we’re getting Newt Scamander being his beautiful autistic self this month just makes sense ♾

So the film starts with Dumbledore and Grindelwald having tea which is kind of nice

Sorry to the Depp fans out there but Mads Mikkelsen should have been cast as Grindelwald from the start… I agree what WB did was appalling, but I loved Mads as Grindelwald, which I honestly wasn’t expecting

“Because I was in love with you” - HE FUCKING SAID IT. The gasp that went out in the audience was so fucking funny, like how do y’all NOT know by now???

NEWT IS MY AUTISTIC HERO 😭 I adore him, I almost wish the films were solely about him searching for magical beasts frankly

Newt helping the mummy Qilin give birth was so Newt, I love him, he was putting his head on its side and comforting her, I adore him

Grindelwald’s followers got the first baby Qilin but then the mother had twins 😭❤️

YES I CRIED AT MUMMY QILIN DYING WITH NEWT NEXT TO HER 😭

Newt cradling a baby Qilin is not the content I was expecting but I’m grateful for it

The Newt scenes remain my favourite in this film, and maybe I’m biased because he’s autistic and I’m autistic, but yeah

Pickett with his mini glasses 😭❤️

Teddy being in charge in the case was adorable like omg

Wooo Wyvern!!! I love seeing more beasts!

So apparently Qilins bow to those who are pure of heart and can also see the future or something?

Grindelwald kept touching Credence/his face in a way that made me VERY uncomfortable

NOT GRINDELWALD SLITTING THE BABY QILIN’S THROAT

Queenie is now a platinum blonde????

Theseus remains my hot husband 🤧😮‍💨💛 fucking adore that man and would jump him without second thought

PRAISE THE MAKE UP AND HAIR PEOPLE, THEY LET THESEUS HAVE A BIT OF CURL IN HIS HAIR ❤️👏🏻👀👌🏻

Theseus was hardcore judging Dumbledore for making that blood pact and I find that really funny??? He’s like “… why would you do that???”

I love love LOVE the Scamander brothers so much, I love their dynamic and them as individuals! The banter, the moments… love them!

I can relate to Theseus being the exasperated older sibling but also relate to Newt being the autistic one whose sibling is like “…????? The fuck???”

Queenie checking on Credence was nice, they have a couple of nice moments together, and I love that she told him that she doesn’t always tell Grindelwald what she hears Credence thinking

I don’t think I was supposed to be thinking “LESBIAN QUEENS” when Vinda and Queenie were in a shot together and yet that’s exactly where my brain went 😭

Jacob was still getting the biggest laughs out of the audience, I love him. He remains such a wonderful character even in the depth of a depression/funk

To be fair, there were quite a few laughs in the film and it wasn’t just me laughing, there were a lot of people of there and most of them were laughing

Noooo not Jacob’s bakery struggling because of the Great Depression (presumably)

LALLY IS A FUCKING QUEEN I LOVE HER

I love love LOVE the Jacob and Lally dynamic so much, it was one of my favourite things in the film

Bunty is the fucking thirstiest most desperate bitch. I don’t like the actress and I don’t like the character and every time she appeared and made a joke I had to roll my eyes. Her character is STILL very much “I’m in love with my boss who doesn’t love me back” and not a lot else

Shout out to the reviewer who said she was “one note” and another who said she was a “JK R*wling lookalike” lmfao 🤣

I love that Newt and Lally are already friends who have corresponded, it’s so sweet

Newt introducing Lally to everyone and forgetting his own brother 😂

I’m not sure but… are the films gonna make Theseus and Lally a thing??? There was a little moment where they met each other/were introducing themselves directly to each other, then they got paired up in Bhutan… idk, maybe just me?

BABY NIFFLERS GETTING BIG 😭

Also I think two of their names in the film are said to be “Alfie” and “Timothy”???

By the way, someone on Twitter that I was once friends with said a few weeks ago in the audio chat/space thing that Newt’s autism “disappeared” when he hugged Jacob (because that had been seen in trailers) and I would like to say NOPE. Not how it works, don’t care if it was a joke or if that person was autistic too, it made me super uncomfortable! And when I said that, she blocked me so… yep.

^Sorry but I don’t like jokes like that. Maybe I’m just sensitive but it made me, an autistic person who loves Newt and is so grateful for him being autistic, very upset and uncomfortable. Maybe some autistic people are fine with those jokes, and that’s fine! I’m just personally not, it makes me upset and makes me feel like they’re mocking Newt being autistic or saying he’s not really autistic so… sorry.

Knowing he’s autistic made me so happy and helped me accept the fact I was going for an autism diagnosis (and have since received the diagnosis that yes I’m autistic). Knowing this non-stereotypical character I loved and who’s played by one of my favourite actors is autistic helped me feel better during the process and made me feel like it would be okay, so yeah!

Tina being the head of the MACUSA AUROR OFFICE LIKE SHE FUCKING DESERVES, WE LOVE A GIRLBOSS

I love that Lally was praising the shit out of Tina and saying she was an incredible woman, we love to see it

Okay, on the topic of Tina… I wish there was more of her. I do. Writing that she’s too busy just seemed kind of lazy. She has like 2 minutes of screentime near the end of the film, first at MACUSA and then at the Jacob and Queenie wedding???

You can’t honestly and seriously tell me that Tina fuckin’ Goldstein would rather be head of the Aurors than try to help her sister or Credence???? Like yeah yeah yeah, she’s a career girl and all that, but also she was willing to lose her job and break the rules to save Credence before??? What the fuck???

Newt seemed super sad about Tina being busy and Lally jumping in to say how amazing she is… ??? I don’t know why but it felt like there was more to it than just her being busy??? Because I’m pretty sure there was a weird silence, and it sounded like they were trying to cover it up???

JACOB GOT A WAND 👏🏻🤧 it didn’t have a core but still?!? He deserves it

I love Teddy refusing to let go of Theseus’ red and golden tie 😂

NO BUT DID JACOB MAKE A WAND INNUENDO JOKE OR???? I couldn’t hear properly because my ears are blocked by my sister’s friend was sitting next to me and she started laughing??? Something about Theseus’ wand actually working???

I do appreciate Theseus just being the bemused and dry older brother, I know some of it is probably down to still being sad about his fiancée dying but still

There were quite a few mentions of Leta, by the way, which was interesting

I had some trouble hearing the dialogue at times, and I thought this might be just because I’ve got blocked ears from my cold - but then my sister and her friend (both of whom are not sick) also said that they struggled to hear it so… ???

NOT THEM CLEARING GRINDELWALD OF HIS CRIMES 😭😭😭 BE MORE FUCKED I DARE YOU-

Not Theseus getting himself fucking arrested 😭😭😭 my dumbass husband I love him

It’s the fact he got arrested going after the people he recognised from the rally where Leta was killed 😭

Newt was trying to go after Theseus as they dragged him away but was stopped because “not here, there’s nothing we can do”

Also Jacob starting to protest about Grindelwald’s name being cleared like “I WAS THERE, HE LITERALLY MURDERED PEOPLE” and the others having to shush him

NEWT KEEPING A PHOTO OF TINA IN HIS CASE AND HIS POCKET THOUGH 😭😭😭😭

I don’t think Newtina are together by this point but there’s no inclination they are or aren’t??? It’s like “where’s Tina” “she’s busy, she’s head of the Aurors” and then her conversation with newt is basically “did you do something with you hair?” “Just for the wedding” etc. There’s no kiss, no “she’s my girlfriend/fiancée/we’re together”, it’s very confusing for me

An instruction for Bunty’s eyes only… the fact she was given important jobs AND was the one to have the Qilin at the end… so cheesey. Sorry but I can’t stand her 😭 she’s the only character I dislike to this extent. JKR wanted her to be the main girl instead of Tina so bad and it failed

(I’m still at least somewhat convinced that Bunty got such a big role because Katherine called JKR out explicitly - more so than anyone else - for her bullshit, and it’s of course just a very interesting coincidence that Bunty - whose actress sucked up to JKR during one of the transphobic tirades - is suddenly given such a big part… 👀 … anyway)

Interesting to know that Wizarding world politics is just as corrupt and fucked as muggle politics

Dumbledore talking about what Ariana used to like and Aberforth like “I WAS there, you know”, such sibling behaviour

Aberforth calling the person at the door a sod and then apologizing because “sorry for calling you a sod, Minerva” 😂

The Albus and Credence fight was actually pretty cool, not gonna lie

I noticed in the scene with Grindelwald and Yusuf Kama, Leta’s theme could be heard in the soundtrack 🤧

Yusuf Kama being a triple agent was… interesting

Bunty continuing to be cringe by making jokes that it’s her husband’s case and he’s “so forgetful that sometimes he forgets he’s married to me”, followed by the most awkward 10-15 seconds of laughter I’ve ever had to sit and witness 🤦

I’m not saying she’s a pick me girl but she kind of is???

Nahhh but why were they suddenly swarming Grindelwald like he was a rockstar 😭😂

I do love Grindelwald just rocking up to this fancy ass dinner with his top buttons undone, bow tie undone, his followers flanking him

Vinda looked fine as fUCK in her suit, by the way 👌🏻 👀

Why the house elf conducting music??? 😭😭😭 stop putting house elf slavery in, I’m-

Jacob saying the Norwegian Minister of Magic looks like his uncle 😂

Not everyone thinking Jacob was attempting to assassinate Grindelwald 😭 he’s literally a muggle, how the fuck you think he gonna use a wand??? Use your brains???

Lally looked like a QUEEN in her dress by the way

I love Queenie low-key doing a little bit of magic to stop Jacob getting hurt even as she walked away with the rest of the acolytes

Newt snatching the photo of Tina away before the jail keeper at the Erkstag could take it 😭❤️

Not me crying at the jail keeper taking Pickett and Teddy away 😭 I was laughing at them both being in Newt’s coat and him being like “he’s a pet… he’s a pet too” but then crying two seconds later at them being taken and locked away

No but the laugh I let out at Newt doing the dance was literally inhuman, I canNOT-

Newt and Theseus doing the manticore dance was one of my favourite moments. In fact all of that sequence was amazing and I wish there were more sequences like that

“I am swivelling” “I don’t think you are” - GOLDEN

The big manticore was TERRIFYING by the way, it ate people and then spit them back out

Teddy and Pickett are not the duo I expected but they’re the duo we deserve and they stole the movie 😭❤️

I’m still crying with laughter thinking about Pickett falling with Newt’s wand and the Niffler jumping up, looking like he’s about to help Pickett… and then he soars past him to grab a shit ton of gold 😂👏🏻 beautiful scene right there, 11/10

NOT THESEUS STEPPING ON A BABY MANTICORE 😭🤧

The Erkstag place is actually terrifying as a whole because the prisoners are tied upside down and they have lanterns with these little firefly things next to them, and when the lanterns go out then the big manticore at the bottom eats them before spitting the remains back up for the baby ones to eat???

Newt and Theseus realising they’re still holding hands when they had Portkey-ed to safety and immediately letting each other’s hands go LMFAO JUST SIBLING THINGS

Jacob saying he got his wand for Christmas 😂

Not the Slytherins giving Jacob a bag of Cockroach Clusters 😭😂

Jacob calling Hogwarts students “pint sized wizards” LMFAO

Dumbledore giving points to a house that’s NOT Gryffindor?!? Unheard of! 🤣

I nearly died laughing at Aberforth giving them the worst looking food to eat and Theseus immediately tucking in like “after being in that dungeon, even this tastes good to me”

So Credence is in fact Aberforth’s son?!?! Jesus Christ??? I’m not sure how I feel about that like what the fuck (his mother was just “some girl from Godric’s Hollow”)

Also confirmation that Ariana was an Obscurial! I went “oh???” When that was revealed

This is probably just because I’m sick because I felt like this film was so long… not necessarily a bad thing but I’m not well so 😭

Grindelwald straight up nearly choking Credence for failing to realize there were TWO baby Qilins though

Theseus holding the baby Qilin 😭👌🏻❤️🤧 GOODBYE MY OVARIES I CANT-

EYYYY IT’S THE ROOM OF REQUIREMENT

There were 5 cases and they all chose a random one so no one knew which one was the real case and therefore none of Grindelwald’s side could know it either

So Grindelwald killed the first Qilin baby then resurrected it so that it would bow to him at the ceremony and put him in charge??? And Newt + the gang’s main plan is to get the alive Qilin to Bhutan so the election isn’t rigged???

I do love that they kept on reiterating how pure of heart and brave Jacob is 😭

Interesting that the decoy cases, from what I could tell, were filled with stuff seemingly related to the person who randomly picked it: Jacob’s had pastries, Lally’s had books, and Theseus’ had Quidditch stuff (perhaps hinting at him being a Quidditch player at school?)

Jacob and Queenie truly couldn’t have chosen a worse time or place to have their little romantic reunion 😭 like I’m happy for them but Jesus Christ it was so poorly timed???

They’re very sweet though, and him saying that his heart isn’t full because it’s always got room for her (or something to that effect) was so beautiful

Not that bitch (whose name I can’t remember, something Fisher?) taking the case Newt had and destroying it, and he thought it was his actual case I think??? 😭

I’m sorry, I can’t believe this is a whole ass film about a Wizarding Election?!? I don’t even like thinking about real politics, let alone fantasy politics

Also they went from talking about a democratic vote to deciding “hey, let’s let the magical creature bow and choose our leader” like, excuse me??? 😭

Not Grindelwald using Crucio on Jacob 😭

No but it’s the very first thing Grindelwald does upon getting elected, torturing Jacob, and people were STILL rooting for him, what the fuck-

Credence turning to the side of good seemed kind of out of left field, I won’t lie. Like I know Dumbledore said stuff to him after their fight and Grindelwald straight up choked him but also it just seemed a little… out of nowhere?

… of course Bunty was the one with the real case. Because of course she was 🙄

I wanted to cry at the alive-Qilin seeing her zombiefied-twin and trying to talk to her, and Newt telling her “she can’t hear you” and “maybe somewhere she can hear you” 😭

I do like that they showed the British MoM, the French one from the second film, MACUSA… it was a nice little callback if nothing else

NAHHH NOT ME CRYING WHEN IT SHOWED TINA AT MACUSA WATCHING NEWT WITH THE QILIN 😭😭😭 I KNOW THE BACK OF HER ANYWHERE, EVEN BEFORE THEY SHOWED HER FACE

Not the Qilin bowing to Dumbledore, meaning he’s pure of heart 🤨 but I did laugh when he was like “… oh no no no no no-” LMFAO

THE BLOOD PACT BROKE AND GRINDELDORE HAD A FIGHT BUT DIDNT KILL EACH OTHER

Grindelwald really fell backwards off the mountain and disappeared

Look I’ll admit it’s been a while since I watched the first two films but… sometimes during the film I was like “… what is happening”, and that’s how I felt about the blood pact breaking. Like sure “he shot to harm and I shot to protect” but…? What??? Maybe I’m just stupid 😭

I’m 90% sure Credence died off screen after Aberforth took him home. It’s made very clear he’s dying but they don’t show an actual death so who knows anymore???

NEWT WAS STIMMING NEAR THE END BY RUBBING HIS COAT POCKET I CANT 😭❤️ THANK YOU EDDIE FOR THE AUTISTIC NEWT CONTENT

No but I had to try very hard not to do some hand flapping at the sight of Newt stimming, it just makes me so happy 😭❤️

Bunty: *sees a photo of Tina in Newt’s case* // Me: LMFAO sucks to be you bitch

I hope she cries at the future newtina wedding 🙃

At least she seems to accept that Newt loves Tina I guess??? If I had to say one positive about her???

Jacob and Queenie have spent however long apart and suddenly they’re getting married??? Even though in the last one he made a big deal about it being against the law??? And it’s not like they’re in England by the way, they’re still in America and the law is still very much in place against No-Maj and magical mixing????

I love Queenie teasing Newt like “you’re nervous for another reason, aren’t you?” (Because he’s going to see Tina at the wedding)

Queenie’s dress and head piece was… a thing. She looked beautiful but it’s not something I’d personally wear myself

Newt being Jacob’s best man at the wedding and worrying over his best man speech was content I didn’t know I needed 😭 I kind of wish we could have heard the speech!

THE NEWTINA SCENE WAS THE FUCKING MOST AMAZING SCENE BY THE WAY

Tina is maid of honour 😭❤️

THE USE OF “Newt says goodbye to Tina” (aka THE Newtina theme), I was SOBBING

I’m still so bloody mad that Tina’s only scenes were 1) her just looking at the election broadcast at MACUSA (no lines) and 2) the wedding at the bakery. I mean yeah there’s the photo but still???

She looked fab as fuck, and I love her and Lally hugging but… yeah.

Small thing, my sister said Katherine looked extremely skinny in the film and I don’t know if that’s due to COVID or not, but… anyway.

Newt, Theseus and Jacob in their suits 👌🏻

I’m pretty sure Theseus made a comment to Newt before entering the bakery that just screamed: “… you’ve complimented how everyone looks BUT me” 😂 I can’t remember the exact comment but I’m pretty sure it happened

Cannot believe the approximately 15 people getting up and walking out before the credits even rolled 😤 like there were 30 seconds left and NOW you get up and leave?!?

Okay but who the fuck invited Bunty to the wedding when she barely fucking knows Jacob and Queenie??? And she turned up late???

The soundtrack had mostly pieces from the first film, a couple from the second, and then some Harry Potter soundtrack in there

My sister isn’t really a fan of the films but she has seen them and she didn’t like it 😭 she said it felt like it dragged and was super slow (and sometimes I admit that I felt that way a little bit too but whatever)

If nothing else, the film has made me want to jump back into writing newtina fics in a way that the first film did and the second film didn’t, so yay!!!

There’s a song (like a song with lyrics) that plays when Jacob is in the bakery thinking of Queenie and again at the wedding and then again over the end credits, and it’s called “Heaven” by Gregory Porter - it’s the official Jacob/Queenie song, let’s be honest!

So… to be honest, this felt very much like a final film. The blood pact thing is resolved, Credence knows who he is and is most likely dead (at the very least, he’s dying), Jacob and Queenie are married… I don’t know. It feels like it’s a final film but also enough there that there could be more films, if that makes sense. I feel like WB are planning to see what the box office/reception is before continuing forwards, to be honest, and I don’t know how to feel about it.

I really hope it’s not a final film because I would admittedly like to see more Tina, more Newt, more Newtina, and also that final duel between Grindelwald and Dumbledore. Despite how much I whine and complain, I’ll be very upset if this is where it comes to an end because this series does still mean a lot to me. It was definitely a HUGE improvement on the second film - in fact, this would probably be my favourite of the three if not for the severe lack of Tina.

I do want to watch it again, when I’m NOT sick and when I’m mentally ready again because mentally I’m all over the place at the moment, especially if this ends up being the last one. I wholeheartedly recommend the film though, I truly do, and I look forward to hearing what other fans say!