fatima aamer bilal, excerpt from moony moonless sky’s ‘we were put on this earth desperate, hungry and willing.’
[text id: in a sharp set of knives, i looked for a hand to hold. / i could not stop myself from needing to belong somewhere, even if that somewhere was a burial ground.]
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I think about you a lot.
All the time, actually.
In the morning, at night,
in the middle of my day. It's you.
It's just always you.
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I asked my mother, “how many times can the same thing break my heart?” she said “as long as you love it” and nothing hit me harder than that.
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btw I’ve mentioned this on here before but I had a really shitty ex boyfriend. while I was in the relationship, I would write poems about him being my lifeline, the thing that kept me floating, he brought color to my world and I would praise him for giving me the tiniest of kindnesses. But there was a lot of red flags and bad shit he did to me and things he put me through, that honestly I couldn’t admit and realize until I went to therapy. A lot of those poems have been changed in my head, the meaning of them changed, and I even wrote poems changing the meaning of the earlier poems. The good was good. The bad was worse. I know that now. I’m older now. It’s brighter now.
If I can do that for myself on a private level, why can’t Taylor do it publicly? Why can’t she do this for herself? She wrote him into her world, let her write him out if she needs too. She’s older now. Let her do the same.
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fatima aamer bilal, from days where my whole world is my bed.
[text id: september arrives like a twisted knife, and i always welcome it with open arms.]
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fatima aamer bilal, excerpt from moony moonless sky’s ‘i am tired of making a religion out of my suffering’.
[text id: my bones whimper at the thought of what could have been. / what could have been if i was not born in a grave?]
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sweet tea in the summer, cross your heart won't tell no other...
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