#The worst part of this is that I've been thinking that when i graduate i will be the boss of this genre of men and i dont know how i feel

[space-mermaid-writing]

Ironstrange - they meet pre-ironman and stick with each other through it all/sarcasm all the way pointing out each others flaws and working on it together.

This is a lot of ground to cover, so I offer you snippets :) Also, this somehow became a songfic halfway through. 'Through the years' by Kenny Rogers, because the lyrics are so very fitting.

Ko-fi | Masterlist | Word count: 0.8k (plus the song lyrics)

I can't remember when you weren't there When I didn't care for anyone but you I swear, we've been through everything there is Can't imagine anything we've missed Can't imagine anything the two of us can't do

The first time they met was at a medical conference. Stephen was there to give a speech. Tony was there to donate money and to party, and because Pepper had forced him to make an appearance. It was good press for SI or something like that.

For once he had decided to listen because he remembered medical students to be big party animals.

Well, it turned out that changed after they graduated college and worked real jobs. It wasn’t the worst party he had ever been to but he was still very bored.

That was until a young doctor approached him at the bar and flirted with him bluntly. Tony was flattered – still he didn’t intend to make it too easy for the man. No matter how handsome he was.

“So you’re some kind of surgeon prodigy? That don’t impress me much.”

“Shania Twain, 1997. Although loosely interpreted.”

Tony didn’t indicate with any reaction if he had actually planned to make it sound like those lyrics. But he did gesture to the barkeeper to bring a drink for Strange; and that had to mean something.

It gave Strange a boost of confidence. “I will have you impressed by the end of the night.” It wasn’t a question, just a simple statement. He had wanted to pick apart Tony Stark’s brain ever since he specialized in neurology. And now he had the chance.

Through the years, you've never let me down You've turned my life around The sweetest days I've found, I've found with you Through the year, I've never been afraid I've loved the life we've made And I'm so glad I've stayed right here with you Through the years

“Why do you have to go to Afghanistan for that demonstration?” Stephen asked – again. “Rhodey said it would be perfectly fine to do it in Nevada.”

Of course Rhodey – that traitor – had told him that. The two had joined forces against him on this issue.

“Because I can,” he replied – again. “It’s called customer service.”

Stephen looked away. “I think it’s the worst idea you ever had and that you are an idiot for doing this.”

Tony saw it in Stephen's face that he wasn’t happy about his answer. They had already argued so much about this, and Tony was tired of it.

What Stephen and he had wasn’t a relationship. Not really. Both had agreed on that. And this was part of why.

“Thanks for establishing that. You’re welcome to leave anytime.” Like everyone else did who was fed up with Tony. There always came the point when people no longer tolerated his bullshit.

Stephen’s jaw clenched, but he didn’t move. “Yeah, no. I’m not letting you go that easily.” He was neither impressed by his words nor his behavior.

Tony let out a breath he didn’t realize he had held. He preferred arguing to Stephen walking out of him.

I can't remember what I used to do Who I trusted, whom I listened to before I swear, you've taught me everything I know Can't imagine needing someone so But through the years it seems to me I need you more and more

Tony was standing in Stephen's apartment. It felt familiar yet odd. Things were still in the same place as before he had left, but something seemed to have changed. He was exhausted by the past month he had lived in that hidden cave.

It took Tony far too long to realize what that was: there was no trace of him in the apartment anymore. Before there had been small items scattered all around: a book, tablets, clothes… it was all gone. And Tony didn’t know what that meant. He had been gone for months and he didn’t know if Stephen had moved on in the meantime.

Tony felt vulnerable because maybe for the first time in his life he didn’t know what to say. He couldn't predict Stephen's reaction.

“So you got kidnapped in Afghanistan. That don’t impress me much,” Stephen finally said in his best ‘I told you not to go’ voice.

Tony smiled, still tired, as a weight was lifted off his shoulders.

Through the years, through all the good and bad I knew how much we had I've always been so glad to be with you Through the years, it's better every day You've kissed my tears away As long as it's okay, I'll stay with you Through the years

“It’s going to be alright.”

Tony meant it, but for Stephen it was a lie. He didn’t see how he could ever be alright again. He was ruined. He had lost his hands – the single most important part of him.

“Spare your breath,” he hissed coldly. He didn’t want to hear Tony’s words of comfort. They meant nothing to Stephen.

Tony sighed, his eyes on the golden ring on the table next to his husband's hospital bed. Stephen wasn’t able to wear it, his hands were still bandaged. Maybe he would never be able to wear it again. Even without the promise Tony had made on the day he had given the ring to Stephen, he wouldn’t waltz out just like that.

“Nice try. But I won’t let you go that easily.”

Through the years, when everything went wrong Together we were strong I know that I belonged right here with you Through the years, I never had a doubt We'd always work things out I've learned what love's about, by loving you Through the years

Tony took in his husband's appearance; the goatee, the blue robes, and the subtle muscles under them. He looked good – far better than the day Stephen had run away to Nepal on a whim. It seemed like he found what he had been looking for and Tony was glad to see him in a better place.

Still, it didn’t hurt to grill him a little more; just as a revenge for the radio silence.

Tony crossed his arms. “So you’re a wizard now? That don’t impress me much.”

Through the years, you've never let me down You've turned my life around The sweetest days I've found, I've found with you Through the years, it's better every day You've kissed my tears away As long as it's okay, I'll stay with you Through the years

They were on Titan and their chances to win looked rather slim. Still, there was hope; as long as they stuck together through it.

Tony stepped next to Stephen as they watched together Thanos arrival on that vast planet.

“So you’re that purple grape that gave me nightmares for years?” His nano-sunglasses were back on his nose for the sole purpose to look over their rim judgmentally. “That don’t impress me much.”

He heard Stephen roll his eyes.

[society-is-rotten]

Women help, what do i do to not let this ruin my day?

I fucking hate public transportation in the rush hour because the infrastructure here is shit and that means having to be in a cramped space with so many creeps SO MANY.

I live two cities away from my uni and i have to wait for the bus at 5:30 to get here on time for my 8:00 am class. There is no getting around it.

And today in that lapse of time, those three hours i have had THREE CREEPS do something to make me uncomfortable TWO of them fucking touched me in some way. Im angry so very angry but i can't anymore, it drains me i just want to be left in peace. IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK

[my-castles-crumbling]

Prompt: Prank

@jegulus-microfic

Word count: 657

It had been a joke.

A stupid, 'harmless' prank.

It hadn't been that malicious, he knew, because nobody knew.

Well, except Sirius and his own roommates, but they had nothing to do with it.

But Snape and a couple of his cronies had thought it would be hilarious to throw Regulus into the Black Lake.

And he was wearing his school shirt. His white school shirt.

And when it became soaked with water, it had turned see-through. See-through enough to see the binder underneath.

And suddenly, his secret was out. The secret he'd been working for years to hide.

And the worst part about it?

James Potter had been only fifty feet away.

Close enough to hear Snape disgustedly exclaim about the outline on Regulus's chest.

James Potter, who he'd had a massive crush on for ages. Who was finally looking at him instead of Lily fucking Evans. Who had been flirting with him the past few weeks.

He'd wanted to scream. To shrink upon himself. To disappear forever.

But instead, he'd run.

He'd run all the way to the top of the Astronomy Tower, trying to avoid the entire population of Hogwarts. If he was lucky, he could live there until graduation and then become a recluse, writing or living off the land, (even though he hated nature).

But of course James Potter ruined that plan.

Because all too soon, he heard a voice call, "Reggie? I know you're up here!"

"Fuck off, Potter," he replied softly, trying not to let his voice betray his embarrassment and hurt.

"Fat chance," James replied, ascending the last step and trying to meet his eyes.

Regulus started stubbornly downward. "Why are you here, Potter?"

"Well I would have been here sooner but I had to deal with Snape first. The month of detentions was well worth it," James said with a small chuckle.

Regulus didn't look up.

"Stupid prat will be bald for at least a month. There's no counter-curse. He doesn't even have eyebrows."

He couldn't help himself. Regulus gave a single snort.

"Reggie..." James murmured, gently touching Regulus's elbow.

He looked up, ice-gray eyes meeting hazel. He almost gasped at the intensity of the look James was giving him.

"...I wish you had told me. I...I'm not gonna lie, It made me a bit mad that you didn't."

And there it was. The admission that James felt differently now. That they would never work. "Well, obviously it's not that easy, James. It's not easy to just tell people, especially when they react all horrified like Snape or you!"

James looked bewildered. "Hor- Regulus, I'm not horrified! I just wish you had told me because I would have told you ages ago that it doesn't matter!"

Regulus froze at that.

"I mean, it matters. Like obviously, it matters that, erm, you have to deal with...I dunno, all the things you have to deal with. And all the stupid people, like Snape. Like...your feelings matter, right? But-" James started to blabber, mistaking Regulus's silence for anger.

"James, stop."

He stopped.

"Why...why did you come here?" Regulus asked, heart hammering in his chest.

James looked confused, like the question was unnecessary. "I wanted to be sure you were okay!"

"But why did you come here? Rather than send Sirius? Or Evan or Barty?" Regulus pushed.

The taller boy raised his eyebrows and turned a bit pink. "Oh, erm...I mean, I think I've been pretty obvious about how I feel, haven't I?"

"About?" Regulus breathed, allowing James to move closer to him, to completely take up his space. But he smirked, because he had, of course, been flirting back, and he snaked both of his arms around James's neck to make his own opinion clear.

James grinned. "Menace."

As their lips met, Regulus decided maybe he and James could become recluses together, because he was not allowing the other boy out of his arms anytime soon.

[chaepu]

Looking Out - Karina

pairing: yoo jimin x reader genre: fluff

"Sooyoung, what did I do?" you asked your girlfriend.

"I don't have time for this shit anymore Y/N. You don't make time for me, I feel like I'm not even in a relationship anymore," she said with tears streaming down her face.

"You know I'm busy trying to get into the graduate program. I can't help that." The frustration of school getting to you and the fact that you're about to lose a relationship, you're crying now.

"I'm sorry, Y/N. I can't be in a relationship like this. I understand you're busy and I've been considerate. I know how hard you're working, but I have to think of myself. I deserve someone who's going to be there for me. I deserve someone who doesn't make me feel empty inside," her brown eyes glistening back at yours.

"Is that really how I make you feel?" you whispered in confusion to her. You know you've been occupied with studies, but you always tried to make sure the brunette was happy.

"I have to go, good luck with everything. I do love you Y/N, with everything in me. You're the most important person in my life." she said to you as she ran out of your apartment.

You followed behind her, hearing the door shut behind you.

"Soo! Please - Fuck!" She was already gone. You sulked your way back to your room, crying along the way. You went to open your door, but realized you forgot your key as you ran out after your ex-girlfriend. You picked up your phone to call your roommate who should be home any time soon. "Yizhuo are you almost home?" you said over the phone.

"Are you okay?? Why are you crying?" you heard your bestfriend yell to you over the phone.

"Sooyoung broke up with me. I'm locked outside the apartment." you sniffled.

"Be there soon."

--

You don't know how, but you were back in the apartment on the couch.

"Good morning, princess. You were asleep outside our door when I got here so some girl down the hall helped me carry you back in here. How are you?" Ningning said to you.

You just stared at the ground with a blanket covering every part of your body, your face the only thing visible. "She broke up with me. I make her feel empty." you whispered. Feeling yourself about to cry, you looked up trying to conceal the tears.

Ningning ran up to you, "hey, hey. It's going to be okay. Shh" she said, comforting you. You started crying on her shoulder.

Hours later, you woke up, again. Ningning left you a note telling you that she had to go to class and that'd she be back later. You decided it was time to get up and shower and try to do something with the rest of the day.

You opened the door to the apartment to leave but there were flowers on the ground. You picked up the yellow lilies and the note attached to it.

Tears in general are horrid, but tears inflicted by relationships are the worst! Hope these make you smile and that everything gets better! - Karina

You smiled. There was a Karina that lived a few doors down from you. You two never made real conversation, a simple hey every time you saw each other in the building but that's it. You grabbed a pen and paper to write her a note back.

Karina, thank you so much. I assume you were also the one who helped my roommate put me back in the room, thank you for that as well. Would it be okay of me to take you out for coffee or something to show my appreciation towards you? xxx-xxx-xxxx. - Y/N

You went towards Karina's room and slipped the note under her door.

You were out for a couple of hours, trying to make yourself feel better when you got a text.

"Hi Y/N, it's Karina. I would love to get some coffee. Meet at 6? The shop off of 5th street?"

"See you there :)" you texted her back. It was currently 5:30 so you decided to head to the shop.

When you got there, you saw the woman already seated. She got up from her seat to greet you, "Y/N, hey!"

"Karina, hey, thank you again." you said to her as you hugged her and sat down.

"Call me Jimin, and it's no big deal at all. How are you feeling?"

"I've been better, rough night. You know about that." you said to her as you lightly chuckled.

"Yeah, I saw your girlfriend crying while running out of the complex while I was coming back from class but stopped at my friends then came back to see you asleep next to your door. I think your roommate, Ningning, was trying to pick you up because she didn't want to wake you. I put emphasizes on trying so I just offered to help." she explained to you.

"Heh, yeah. Sorry about that. I got locked out and I guess I fell asleep. You didn't have to do that."

"Either that or you were going to get dragged back in so it wasn't a problem."

"Yeah... well what would you like to drink?"

You went and ordered your drinks and a couple of snacks from the counter and brought them back to the table.

"So tell me about yourself. I feel like I always see you around, but I've never had a real conversation with you," you said to Karina.

"Well, I'm a third year nursing student. From Jidong, have an older sister. Working as an intern at the General Hospital. I like singing, dancing, photography, which reminds me, I've seen some of your pieces at the museum up the street and I am completely in love with them. But what about you?"

"One, thanks. I took those a few blocks away from here I could show you sometime. But, I'm trying to get into the graduate program here for business admin, which is also the reason my girlfriend broke up with me, heh..."

You both ended up talking till the shop closed and they had to force the both of you out. You and Karina started walking around the city, you showing her where you took the pictures she was talking about. As Karina was taking pictures of the area, your phone rang,

"Y/N, where the hell are you? It's almost 1am. I am not trying to be your mother but I want to make sure you're okay."

"I'm fine, Ning. I'm with Jimin, I'll head back soon. See you soon." you hung up.

"Wow, I didn't realize how late it was" Karina said to you as she was packing up her camera.

"Me either, we should head back."

As you walking back, you were thinking pretty hard. Sooyoung just broke up with a day ago and you weren't as upset as you were a few hours ago. Karina had made you feel the same way Sooyoung did, but better.

"Thanks for today, Y/N. I had a lot of fun. I've been living in this part of town for four years and never went to the places you showed me today."

"No, thank you. You made me forget about my terrible life for a couple of hours." You both laughed.

"It's not terrible, you're just going through a rough time. I'm glad I could distract you for a couple of hours. I know this could be over the line but I was wondering if we could hang out sometime again?" Karina shyly said to you.

"It's definitely not, I'll text you?"

Karina smiled, nodding her head.

You hugged each other goodbye, "Don't stress yourself out with grad. You're going to do fine." Karina says.

"Thanks for looking out," you say to her as you walk into your apartment.

--

A/N: the last of my repurposed stories. this one was inspired by a tweet i saw.

REQUESTS OPEN.

[fortisfilia]

Promised Part 10 - Tom Riddle x reader

Info: This is a rewrite of a story I've posted on my old account years ago. If it sounds familiar, that might be why :)

Summary: In this story, Tom didn't grow up as an orphan, but with his grandfather and uncle. Reader's sister got very sick and the Gaunts offer their help. But not without asking for something in return.

Warnings: Arranged marriage

Word count: 3k

Masterpost | Masterlist | Part 9 | Part 11

Part 10 - Mors Grano

The days after Avery’s poor attempt to gather information went by quite eventfully. Not only had Avery and Lestrange almost gotten expelled by Dippet for what they had done, but had received the worst detention you had ever heard of. 

Every day, up until the N.E.W.T.s would start, they had to help Mr Carpe, Hogwarts’ caretaker, clean every last bit of the castle. Without magic of course. And when they weren’t scrubbing floors, cleaning windows, or polishing trophies, they were copying the school rules on parchment, by hand. The amount of paper they had to fill wouldn’t even fit into an entire classroom, had it not been rolled up. 

Even if they wanted to, their new schedule didn't give them enough time to follow you or even think about you. They barely had enough time to finish their homework before tumbling into their beds. You would have felt sorry for them, but Tom’s snarky grin, which he wore every time you saw the two in the hallways, was a reminder that they deserved it. 

Thank Merlin you hadn’t told Avery much when he had disguised himself as Tom. You had just confirmed that the engagement had been arranged but fortunately hadn’t said anything about your sister. There had been worse rumours going around about Tom and you. 

Camille almost didn’t believe you when you told her what they had done. After a lot of head shaking and “no, they didn’t”s she just stared at you with her mouth open and proceeded to laugh for a full minute or two when you told her about their punishment. 

It was a lucky coincidence that she had found an interest in Ben, as she didn’t mind now that you were spending a lot more time with Tom. She was preoccupied as well by the looks of it. 

After the accidental sleepover, you had stayed in Tom’s dorm overnight more often. Not on accident though. It had become a routine, to have another quick chat with Camille after classes, arrange some dates for when you wanted to study together and then make your way to Tom’s.

Tom was sitting at his desk when you entered the room, apparently deep in thought and studying the Potions book he had gifted you.

“Alright?” you said when you closed the door.

He nodded as you went up to him.

“Found anything interesting for the Moly?” you asked. “It still looks quite healthy to me.”

“Not really,” he answered and turned towards you. “Nothing specific.”

“Oh, I just got an owl from my parents.” You crammed the letter out of your bag and handed it to him. “They set the date. For the wedding.”

Tom read the letter quietly, his eyebrows twitching slightly once or twice.

“June 30th,” he said.

“That’s only one day after we graduate,” you stated. “Seems like they can’t wait for the big day.”

He nodded as he gazed into the flames inside the fireplace, a tiny grin pulling on the edge of his mouth before he looked up at you. “Can you?”

To keep the giggle that was building up inside you from bursting out, you took Tom's hand, tugged lightly on it and gestured towards the couch where you wanted to sit. He closed the potions book but kept a finger in it, taking it with him as you led him over.

“Well, I don’t know,” you said as you let yourself fall onto the cushion. “It still doesn’t feel real, does it?”

He nodded in agreement.

“I can’t wait to try on the dress, though. That’ll be exciting,” you went on and noticed him smiling. “And then there’s the most important part, of course.”

He gave you a look as if to say he didn’t know what you meant.

“Elsie,” you explained. “Your uncle will lift her curse completely then. Or so I hope at least.”

Morfin had to, didn’t he? It was part of the pact after all. Tom and you would get married so that they would free your sister. As much as you wanted to believe that the Gaunts were trustworthy, there had been a nasty sting in your stomach ever since the engagement. Would they give up, even when they had won? They wouldn’t be able to control you anymore afterwards, or Tom, or anyone but themselves. Marvolo’s filthy grin appeared in your head. Would he ever give it a rest?

“He will free her, won’t he?” you asked.

Tom looked into your eyes for a moment, then cleared his throat. “Well, it’s what they agreed on.”

“But?”

“But,” he went on, “You’ve seen how they are.”

An invisible weight seemed to pull on your limbs and the sting in your stomach got more intense. 

“They’ll never let go,” you sighed. “But how-”

Tom shook his head and exhaled slowly. “I have to show you something.”

He gave you the Potions book and opened it at the page where he had put his finger before. “I thought you’d come across it on your own, but as I noticed you wouldn’t… Just see for yourself.”

You stared at him for a moment, wondering what Morfin’s book had to do with anything, before looking down at it. Tom pointed at a recipe, written in scrawled handwriting:

Mors Grano or The Dust Of Slow DeathThe dust is used to be scattered over an item and will cling to the first person that touches it.Vanishes the second the victim comes in contact, which makes it very hard to be detected and cured.Victims will suffer from a distinctively harsh cough, as well as pain and flu-like symptoms, which will worsen each day until they become fatal. The average time until death is around three weeks after the first encounter with Mors Grano. In most cases, the victim will lose their life before the appropriate antidote can be given. 

You didn't bother to read the list of ingredients, your hands shaking too much to make out a word. You had heard of Mors Grano before. Professor Binns had mentioned it in History of Magic when you had learned about the Passing of Men in 1650. Hundreds of witches had poisoned their abusive husbands with it when the dust had been invented. It had taken years to find out what had caused such an increased number of deaths, all of them male wizards. The potion and most of its ingredients had been banned, and no cases had been reported since.

Until now. Suddenly it all made sense. The Gaunts had sent the letter and covered it in Mors Grano. They had known all along how to cure Elsie and had waited patiently, days and weeks, letting your sister suffer until Father had contacted them. No wonder the owl had given her the letter, even though it was addressed to Father. They had specifically chosen her. A ten-year-old, innocent, little girl. 

Nausea hit you like a brick, coupled with the immediate need to punch something as your stomach twisted and turned in ways you had never felt before. A thin layer of sweat had formed on your forehead and your hands were still shaking.

“They…” you whispered. “And you knew?”

Tom swallowed thickly. “I didn’t at first. But then I came across it when Morfin prepared the poison.”

"And you never told me?" you asked, your voice rising and threatening to break as you tried to get up.

“Let me explain,” Tom said and grabbed your hand. “Sit down.”

“What is there to explain?” you asked, trying to pull away from his grip. “You’ve known for months. Even before your first visit. Before Elsie got sick. And you never tried to prevent it, nor did you tell me.”

Tom's grip on your hand tightened the more you tried to get him off you. “I said let me explain. I let you explain yourself when I saw you with Avery, didn’t I? Imagine I just ran away then. Now sit down.”

Finally, his grip loosened, allowing you to tear your hand away from him. Not knowing what to think or say, you sat down but couldn’t bring yourself to even look in his direction.

“Yes, I knew,” he began with a sigh. “And I didn’t care. But even when I started to care, I couldn’t tell you. Or anyone. I still can’t. I’m unable to talk about it. They were a step ahead. Understand?”

The Gaunts were a step ahead. They always wanted to be. Just like on Christmas Day, when they wanted you and Tom to do-

“An unbreakable vow?” you asked with wide eyes. “You had to vow not to tell anyone.”

He nodded. “I vowed not to tell. But I didn’t vow not to show.”

He turned one page inside the book and handed it to you again.

Mors Grano - antidote

Ingredients: 

The skin of a snake

2 fresh Foxgloves

3 blossoms of a Moly

4 drops of Moondew

5 tears of a Banshee

The antidote. Full with an ingredient list and instructions. 

“Morfin brewed it already then? They gave it to Elsie, otherwise, she wouldn’t have gotten better.”

“He didn’t complete it,” Tom answered, apparently trying not to say something that would interfere with the vow.

“He left out something? They gave her an unfinished antidote?”

Tom nodded. 

“The tears?” you guessed, solely because it was the most powerful and rare item on the list.

“I’m not sure. They never let me into his chamber after the engagement.”

“Can we… Can we steal it from him? And add the last ingredient?”

“Marvolo has the flask on him at all times. He’s suspicious, even of Morfin.”

Bloody hell. Marvolo’s paranoia was a real pain. You scanned the antidote again, thinking of all the ways you could get your hands on that potion.

“But I could brew it myself. Most of the ingredients are easy to find. Foxgloves are for sale in Diagon Alley, I’ve seen them countless times. The Moly, we have it here,” you listed and looked at it standing on the desk, finally realising why Tom had tried to keep it alive so badly. “Snakeskin from Nagini. We just wait for her to shed. Moondew and the Banshee tears will be tricky, however.”

Tom nodded at every new thing you had said. “You figured it out.”

Your stomach had stopped squirming at the glimmer of hope you had for saving Elsie. You carefully read the recipe for the antidote again, understanding how long it would take and how hard it would be to get the potion right. If everything went well, it would be finished by mid to late June at the earliest. Besides, Slughorn had never taught you such advanced techniques. Now that you were thinking of your Professor, it began to dawn on you. “Do you think Slughorn has Moondew and Banshee tears in his chamber?”

“Possibly,” Tom answered. “But do you really want to steal from him after what Avery and Lestrange did? I’m sure he’s got it all locked up in his office now.”

“Well, I have to try. Where else would I get those things from? And I better try soon. The antidote will take months to make as it is and the earlier I start, the better.”

Tom took the book, got up from the couch and put it into the drawer of his desk, closing it shut slowly.

“What are you doing?” you asked.

“We’re going to Slughorn then, aren’t we? Come on.”

You followed him out hastily, trying to sort out your thoughts. Frankly, you had not expected to get the ingredients this quickly.

“Wait, how are we going to do it?” you asked, struggling to keep pace. “We can’t just sneak in and grab the things we need. He might be in there.”

“Even better then,” Tom said, not deigning to look at the other students strolling along the hallways. “I talk, you get the stuff.”

Slughorn's office was on the sixth floor, so it took a while to reach it. Your mind was still racing around the facts you had just been given and you needed to talk about it.

“I can’t believe they made you vow,” you muttered. “Marvolo and Morfin are…”

“Bastards,” he finished your sentence when you stepped from one of the moving staircases to another. “I’m aware.”

Everyone who knew them longer than a minute had to be aware of the fact. You were the only people on the staircase, floating higher up towards your destination. Tom looked over his shoulder to double-check if anyone could hear him.

“You know what,” he said pensively. “I actually expected people to ask me what I, or my family, had done to make the engagement happen. Seeing as it was them who got the ball rolling. But everyone suspected you. They all thought your parents bribed us.”

A sour smile had formed on your face as you thought about what to answer. One that, for all you knew, every woman had worn at least once in her life. 

“A woman's intentions will always be questioned a hundred times harsher than those of a man, Tom. What else is new?”

He pressed his lips together, nodded and kept quiet until you reached the sixth floor.

“Wait,” you said and got a hold of his hand when you had entered the corridor of Slughorn’s office. “I wanted to thank you. For helping me. The book, the Moly and now this. You know you don’t have to.”

He squeezed your fingers lightly in response, stepped closer and you pulled him in further. With his arms around you and your head pressed against his chest, you shut your eyes for a moment, feeling his lips on your forehead for a fraction of a second. When you looked up at him, his mouth parted, then closed again, stopping himself from saying something. His eyes, dark and restless, searched yours for a moment before returning to their usual deadpan state.

“Believe me, no one hates Marvolo and Morfin more than me. If I can make their lives more difficult, I’ll gladly do it.”

There wasn’t a lot of time to take in Tom’s words when you separated. There it was. The door to Slughorn’s room.

“Get behind me,” Tom instructed. “Make sure he doesn’t see you.”

You did as he said, your back against the stone wall, watching from a distance how Tom knocked on the door and Slughorn opened it.

“Oh, Tom,” the Professor said. “Good afternoon. What brings you here?”

“Good afternoon Professor. I hope I’m not disturbing you. I have some questions about Avery and Lestrange. I’m trying to sort out some things for Professor Dippet. Would you mind letting me in?”

Slughorn opened the door fully and stepped back. “Of course, boy, of course. Come in.”

Tom had left the door open for you to slip in behind them, which you instantly did. He lured Slughorn to the far end of his office, walking backwards and keeping an eye on you. Slughorn’s potion stock was right next to the entrance, where you knelt between the shelves, in case he would turn around unexpectedly.

The small drawers weren’t tagged, but you noticed that their contents were sorted alphabetically. As you silently roamed through them, you could hear Tom and Slughorn speak.

“So, Professor,” Tom said. “Do you know if Avery and Lestrange have taken anything else? Apart from the Polyjuice Potion?”

The Professor hummed. “Not that I’m aware of, no. Why?”

Every single drawer was filled to the brim with ingredients, some vials even contained finished potions, but you still hadn't seen the things you were looking for. It was a delicate act to go through everything so quickly while remaining quiet and ensuring not to miss anything.

“Well, there were some items found. Residues of Moondew and Banshee tears,” Tom explained.

“Banshee tears?” Slughorn asked.

“Yes. We can’t be sure if it was them, but I thought if you missed those things from your supply, the two might have something to do with it.”

“No, everything else is there, I counted it myself,” Slughorn assured. “What baffles me are the Banshee tears.”

Tom was an excellent liar, even though Slughorn would have probably bought anything his favourite student said. The bottom drawer at the penultimate row was stuck. You pulled the handle tightly but it only opened up an inch and gave a screech while it did, making you freeze from fear.

“Did you hear something?” Slughorn asked, his voice echoing your way.

“No, I didn’t,” Tom answered and coughed. “Why are you surprised about the Banshee tears, sir?”

“Well, those tears are rare,” the teacher answered, his head directed towards Tom again. “Very rare and also not very legal, boy. I’ve never seen them anywhere in my whole life. They couldn’t have been from me.”

No Banshee tears from Slughorn then. You pulled out your wand and cast a nonverbal spell to loosen the stuck drawer. Should have done that right away, you thought to yourself. Finally, it opened smoothly and your eyes went over all the flasks and their name tags. Mandrake, Maw, Mistletoe berry, Mollowsweed ... Moondew. Thank Merlin! There were over ten vials of it in the drawer, so you hastily took out one and put it into your pocket.

You peeked over the counter, locked eyes with Tom, and pointed towards the door to let him know you would leave.

“I see,” Tom went on, his eyes back on Slughorn. “We’ll have to look into that. Anyway, if you do notice some Moondew missing, against all expectations, I’m going to have another talk with Dippet about Avery and Lestrange.”

“I’ll let you know, boy. Thank you.”

“Enjoy your evening, sir.”

Masterpost | Masterlist | Part 11

Tags: @ariachaos

[alltoolewis]

Enough for you (part 1) - Mason Mount

I missed you guysssss..... finally logged back into my account after 2 months and began typing & I'm so happy!!!! I am sorry for the absent, uni and my personal life has been a living hell but I am back for now to speak and write to all you lovely lot... which I've just now discovered I now have 2,000 followers! Thank you soooooooo much I really can't believe it

This one isn't the best as I'm a little rusty but I think it's a good opener for a new series I am going to write! Currently it's called 'enough for you' however this might change the more I write of it! The next part will be uploaded tomorrow but for now feel free to fill my inbox with 'hello's' and questions as I missed you all sooooooooo much! Enjoy 💕

Summary- After your dad, frank lampard, gets assigned to manage his old team again and wants you to join him as the head counsellor, your mind fills with dread and flashbacks of a possible reunion with your ex...

“Theres no way…” You whispered, staring at your father in disbelief as he spoke the words that you thought you’d never hear again “Your managing Chelsea… again”.

“Only for the rest of the season, it’s nothing permanent yet” You could hear his own surprise in his voice, as if he too couldn’t believe what he was saying. “But it went awful last time” You gasped “Why would they want you back?”

 “Cheers kiddo, I needed that confidence boost…” rolling his eyes he came closer to you, ruffling your hair slightly before walking pass you towards the kitchen.

“I didn’t mean it like that dad” You sighed, following him “They just treated you so badly last time… is it worth it?” It’s not that you didn’t want your dad to go back into managing his old team, of course you wanted him too! Goosebumps rose on your own arms just thinking about Frank Lampard’s, your dads, big return to Stamford bridge. But the excitement fades away quickly once you the memories of last time flood in your mind.

The headline that he left…

The face he made when he got the call…

The hours and hours he spent preparing to head HR to fight a losing battle…

Seeing the nervousness in your eyes, he wrapped his arms around you “Theres no need to panic, eh? It’s a couple of weeks that’s all… they need me”.

Sighing, you knew that he was right. You didn’t have to live under a rock to know how poor Chelsea was at the minute. “I suppose you couldn’t make them any worst than they are…” You giggled, a smirk on your face as you pulled away from the hug, his laugh echoing across the marble walls of the kitchen “That’s the spirit! Now let’s get a glass of wine to celebrate our return!”

Just as you were about to grab the glasses, you froze “Our return…”

“Yeah, that’s the thing…” Your dad spoke hesitantly “The board had asked if you’d also come back as the head of the wellbeing team. All the players and staff have been going through a rough time and really need a team on site to help… that’s why they need you!”

Working for Chelsea was the first job you had ever gotten when you graduated from university with a counselling degree. It obviously helped that your dad was the manager of the team, however every loved having you around and you loved being there. But when your dad got fired from the team in such a cruel way and the management of the team collapsing, there was no way that you were going to stay… so you left with him… despite everything you were leaving behind… despite leaving him!

“No way dad!” You quickly rejected, placing the glasses back down as you headed back into the living room “I am happy for you, I really am! But I’m not going back!”

“Why not?”

“I have a job!”

“You can leave it” He pushed, causing your eyes to widen “I can’t just leave my job dad! What am I supposed to say, ‘sorry guys I’m going to work with my dad for a few weeks and then I’ll return when they throw us away again’”.

“They never asked you to go” Your dad interjected. It was true, if anything the team wanted you to stay more than Frank!

“They wanted you to leave… so I did too! End of!”

“(y/n) …” Frank spoke hesitantly “This isn’t about Mason, is it?”

You didn’t realise your body could go more into shock than before until he spoke his name. The name that at one point caused your heart to burst into a thousand butterflies, but now makes it shatter into a million shards of glass that was impossible to piece together again…

“No” You spoke just above a whisper, trying to convince not only your dad but yourself. It wasn’t a secret that you were once in love with Chelsea’s number 19… to the public it might have been but to everyone in your life it was clear to see the effect that his presence had on you, and even now almost 2 years later remains on you! You were perfect together, the mix of your existences together had meaning, a love so strong that it could be seen a mile away… that was until he broke your heart.

“Don’t lie to me (y/n)” Frank sighed “Why else wouldn’t you come back?”

“Why do you even care about that?” You exploded, anger tracing in your veins “You hated us together… it was one of the reasons he broke up with me!”

Flashback

“What do you mean you can’t do this anymore?” You breathed out, looking over to him as he placed his hands over his face in anger, sitting on the edge of the sofa. What was supposed to be a night enjoying watching your boyfriend play in one of the toughest tournaments in football, turned into a surprisingly sour one. The second you returned home from the win, Mason turned bitter, his face scrunched together in thought as he refused to acknowledge your presence. “You won Mase… I don’t what is wro-“

“We’re wrong!” he screamed back, standing up from the sofa as he turned to face you “It’s not about the game… It’s about us!”

“Mason I don’t know what you mean?!?” you shouted back, confusion etched in your voice as he huffed “Us, (y/n) … it shouldn’t be happening it can’t happen!”

“We’ve been together for months Mason! Why now?”

“People are going to find out about us and then what? I’m just the player who got in the team cause he’s shagging his managers daughter!”

“Who cares what they say?!” You pushed “Who gives a fuck? I’m happy, your happy… my dad’s okay with it!”

“Oh please!” He laughed sarcastically as you raised your eyebrows in confusion “Your dad hates us together and you know it!” “He did at first but not anymore” You tried to convince him, knowing that it did indeed take your dad awhile to warm to the idea “He accepts us Mason… so what’s this really about because I know what you are saying is full of shit!”

Mason turned back around, not wanting you to see any more of the cracks showing “I’m telling the truth (y/n)!”

“No. Your. Not.” You said, voice getting angrier and angrier “You wouldn’t do this now, you wouldn’t end us over something so simple… so easy to fix! So what is it?”

“I CHEATED OKAY!” he shouted back, causing your heart to stop. “Your lying…” You mumbled, shaking your head as you refused to let the tears go “Your lying… you’d ne-never do th-that to me… with who?”

“Does it matter?” He sighed, pulling his hair as he glanced over to what once was your happy figure, but is now destroyed. “Yes it does…” You whispered, a tear ruining down your cheek against your will “of course it does, so with who?”

“Just a girl at the club” he spoke with no emotion “I got drunk, she was there, it happened”

“Why?”

“Why what?” He tutted “Why did I fuck her? Like I just said, we got drunk she was there, you wasn’t it’s that easy-“

“No… not that” You stopped him, not wanting to hear anymore “Why wasn’t I good enough for you?”

Your words caused him to freeze as he stopped his pacing, and for a moment you could of sworn you seen the cracks to yet another lie but of course it was hidden quicker than it was seen “You know what they say… the game is the game, and sometimes your just not good enough to play!”

His words caused your body to tense up like you just got a million paper cuts, you wanted to push him… to fight him… to prove that the crack you seen was a lie, a doubt… but why would you, when the man you loved, the man you thought was your haven, just told you that you weren’t good enough.

Without another word, you nodded, walking past him to collect your belongings. Only once you were past him did you let the tears run…

“Mason?” You whispered, needing to say one more thing to him before you left

“Yes…” You didn’t look at him when he replied but you knew he was crying… but why?

“Thank you for letting me play the game with you…” and with that you left… one of you hoping to see the other one again while the other one prayed.

End of flashback

 A shiver ran down your back as you remembered the horrid memory, but it was brushed off as your dad began to speak again “I didn’t hate you together!” He protested, sitting beside you on the couch “Did I hate the idea of my oldest child falling in love? Yes. Did I hate the idea that one of my best players was seeing my daughter behind my back? Of course.”

“dad…” You tried to stop him, but he obviously ignored you.

“But did I hate seeing my daughter so happy? No.” tears streamed down your face as he spoke the truthful words “I know it hurt you. The hiding… the breakup… the secrecy. But that’s what love is, and deep down I know he really did love you.”

“Then why did break up with me then?” you sniffled “If he really loved me that much then why?”

“That’s something we’ll never know unless you speak to him.”

Of course you didn’t tell your dad he cheated on you, although after the reveal you couldn’t stand to even look at him, your love overpowered the hatred of ruining his relationship with your dad and his chances of remaining in the first team.

“I’m not seeing him dad… no matter what I’m not facing him again” Your body went into reject mode at the idea of just seeing him, nevermind having a vulnerable conversation with him. “I’m not asking you too honey, he can be booked in with someone else and you’ll have your own office… but please come back with me? I need you”.

 ‘I need you’

The three words that held so much but little meaning. The three words that you held onto so tightly for so many years. The three words that you can never refuse.

“Fine…” You sighed, as your dads’ arms wrapped around you once more in celebration. “Thank you… thank you… thank you! The teams going to be so happy…”

“You don’t have to thank me, I’d do anything for you and you know that” You chuckled, getting off the couch to collect the glasses you put down a lifetime ago “but dad?”

“Yes?”

“You make sure Mason Mount stays the hell away from me!”

[holocene-sims]

next // previous

august 17, 2021 3:00 p.m. yonsei university

[grant] did your dad apologize for being a dick, though?

[henry] of course. he was a good person and realized he was being a bit weird. he just hated noise. i think he'd have been happy to be born with a set of noise-canceling headphones attached to him.

[grant] except maybe he liked your mom’s noise from that day forward!

[henry] he did, but even if he hated it, he was probably glad to have hers back after a while. almost half the time they dated, they didn’t even live in the same country.

[henry] my mom worked at an art shop somewhere in seoul, and my dad had this sweet gig working at a museum in paris while getting a doctorate and doing some traveling, visiting art museums on every continent. he got the doctorate, but gave up the job to come back and marry my mom.

[henry] and she won out, to be honest. him teaching here was a prestigious position, and his family are pretty well off because they're in banking and all, so she got to quit her job after marriage, have me, and just sculpt for fun.

[grant] that’s the dream, right?

[henry] i think so.

[grant] it’s nice to be genuinely in love but also to support each other’s passions, too, whether that's helping them pursue a job or a hobby. i mean, that’s everything. that's the deepest form of connection. oh yeah, definitely the dream.

[henry] for sure. there wasn’t much for my mom to help with because she was never wealthy and her parents weren’t either, but she was a huge moral support. she was my dad’s biggest fan. sometimes getting a doctorate sucked, and he wanted to quit, but it was hard to quit with her on the sidelines cheering.

[henry] that’s like me and soobin. not much i can do on the money front because i'm not rich and i won't take money from my parents, and i couldn’t help with her medical school because i'm a certifiably terrible student, but i can be and am her cheerleader.

[henry] and i may not have been a photographer without her. being an artist is the worst career choice unless someone else has money to throw at the bills. and i make an okay salary! i have solid clientele booking all year long, but i don't charge what i "should" because i feel wrong asking too much money to do wedding photos and all. that shit's expensive - i'll take a small cut off the going rate so they get all they want for the big day.

[henry] besides, the one thing in life that makes me nervous is clients being unhappy. everything else about a wedding goes away except the photos. if they're unhappy, i'd rather the pricing not be an extra issue, you know? at least let it be a cheap mistake.

[grant] but you would have still pursued this, right? i can’t imagine you not at least trying it out. you have always been set on some kind of photography as a career. even when you were having a crisis around college graduation about whether you should pursue high-brow art or something very human and realistic like you do now, you never questioned if photography was your truth.

[henry] i would have. i've always known it was my goal. i just think the financial stress may have worn me down eventually if she wasn’t willing to shoulder an extra share of the burden. like i said, charging people themselves is a strange thing, and you just never know what can happen. sure, i did end up with a good brand through putting myself out there on social media, but that was no guarantee.

[henry] if that hadn't worked out, i'd have been in trouble. and when you don't have a lot of clients or reach, you have to be conservative and sometimes that hurts you on growth. blah blah blah. point is, i owe soobin a lot, both for financial support and her total faith in me.

[grant] well, teamwork makes the dream work and all that!

[henry] hey, you're part of the team, too. there's no one else i'd rather call at 3AM asking to check the red balance on my pictures because everything looks green to me. and as it turns out, having a friend with a massive family who host many events requiring photography is excellent for clientele building.

[stevesbipanic]

I hope everyone is having a wonderful beginning of pride month! This is my first pride since coming out and I'd like to share a little bit of my own perspective this pride.

I'm 22 and I only came out a few months ago. I've been super lucky and all of my friends and family have been super accepting. The worst part about coming out has just been me.

My whole life I thought I was straight, I didn't have many crushes (see later learning about demisexuality as well) and any that I did have were very normal cis guys from school. I never had any reason to think I wasn't straight and that was perfectly ok.

My friend group has always leaned on the queerer side. Most of them were out by the time we graduated high school or shortly after and all of them talked about how they always knew that it was always there.

I've known what pansexual is since I was 14 and I'd never thought of it as a label for me, people were pretty but that was it to me, I liked guys.

There's a guilt you feel sometimes when you come out later than your peers. Whether it be like me and you're still young or years down the line. You're still just as valid but there's that part of you that feels guilty for not knowing sooner.

It's my first pride and I feel guilty.

I feel guilty because every year before now pride was for my friends with me as the respectful ally following their lead. I've never even gone to a pride parade, always seeing that as something they got to do, something they deserved to do and I didn't want to intrude.

I know I shouldn't feel guilty but I do.

I hope one day there's a part of me that doesn't feel like I'm just faking these feelings so I can be included, that it's ok I didn't always know but for now there is.

I'm grateful to everyone celebrating pride with me this year, my partner, my friends both here and out in the world and my family.

Thank you for reminding me I'm valid even when I can't always see it.

Happy pride everyone, especially if this is your first one.

❤️🧡💛💚🩵💜

[mabelstone]

Graduation

matt stone x reader

summary: final part of Professor Stone :')

word count: 3718

CW: incredibly gushy and soft, its almost sickening... 18+ as well looool car sex, dacryphilia, sex toys, praise kink, oral sex, unprotected sex, breeding kink if you squint reeeaaally hard hehe

note: i'm sad to kiss my baby goodbye but it's unfortunately time. thank you for all your love and support throughout the chapters, this has been my favourite fic i've ever written <3 i hope you loved it as much as i loved writing it

i did not proof read, don't think less of me for any errors :(

find my masterlist here <3

You waited patiently behind the stage, shaky palms sweating profusely in fists at your side. Today was your graduation. After four painfully long years, here you were, graduating your Bachelor of Psychology with full credits, thanks to the most worthwhile class of your degree, calculus. You strangely felt a sense of dread when you realised you'd never have to step foot on your campus again. Worst of all, you'd never get to feel the thrill of taunting Professor Stone in front of the class again. You'd never get to stay back for 'tutoring' again, which really was code for having the most intense, toe-curling sex on top of quickly forgotten, freshly graded papers. You were gonna miss him, and though you'd never admit it, you'd spent the last few weeks praying that your secret love story wouldn't end here.

You were snapped out of your spiralling thoughts when you felt a gentle hand squeeze your arm. "They called your name," a softly spoken Trey retracted his hand with a coy smile, apologetic even. You nodded, quickly dragging yourself onto the stage with your stomach in knots. You accepted your degree blindly, feeling as though you weren't even in your body anymore. Though the lights were blinding you, you couldn't help but search for him in the crowd as you stood beside your peers.

There he was. Gentle, emerald green eyes locked on none other than you. You couldn't stifle the grin that stretched across your face, your heart leaping against your ribs. While you watched your peers accept their respective degrees, Matt watched you. You took one final glance in his direction as you all exited the stage, a genuine smile on his face as he applauded you away beside his colleagues.

You hugged your friends, still in shock that you were actually finally finished. What were you going to do with yourself now? Well, you knew what you were going to do right now, and that was to get belligerently drunk with your friends.

You excused yourself to the bathroom before you were all heading off, still in extreme shock. You couldn't stop smiling. When you finished, you opened the door and almost bumped into someone.

"Oh, shit, sorry-" As if on cue, you looked up and saw none other than Matt. So overwhelmed with happiness, you grabbed his face without thinking and gave him the biggest kiss imaginable, smiling the entire time.

He pulled away quickly, whipping his head around to see if anybody saw what you just did. Luckily, nobody else was in the room.

"Sorry, I'm sorry, I'm just so happy," you squealed in excitement, running your hands down your dress. He pulled you in for a big hug, placing a kiss to the top of your head to suffice his urge to take you right there, right then in front of the bathroom. This would do for now.

"I'm so proud of you, kid." He was smiling just as wide as you, squeezing you even tighter.

"Okay, you're gonna suffocate me," you laughed, pulling away to rest your hands on his biceps.

"Where're you headed now, pretty?" He swiped a stray hair behind your ear, completely and utterly in awe by you.

"My friend is throwing a party," you swallowed thickly, nervous to ask, but you did regardless, "um, would you please pick me up? You don't have to, of course-"

"Send me the address," he smiled warmly, his tone suggesting it was a given. "He better not be there," he grumbled, earning himself an eyeroll and a playful shove.

"Don't ruin this nice moment, if you can."

"Sorry," he grinned, stepping away from you as a bunch of screaming girls walked down the hall. Like they'd even notice. He bent down to your ear to whisper, "I've got a surprise for you at home, by the way."

✴︎✴︎✴︎

It was approaching 2am and it didn't seem like the party was ending anytime soon. You were arguably the most inebriated you'd ever been, and currently sat with a group of girls talking about which professors they'd like to fuck.

"No, you know who I really wanna fuck?" A rhetorical question from the mouth of your longtime friend, Casey. Power to her, she'd slept with 7/10 guys on campus and was drop dead gorgeous. "Professor Stone."

Your heart sank at the confession, a wave of sickness washing over you.

"Oh, yeah, I forgot about him! He's the math professor, right?" Another chimed in.

"Mhm," Casey faked moaned, running her hands down her body. "God, the things I'd do for five minutes with him."

"No way!" Another girl, Belle spoke up, scrunching her nose in disgust, "he's hot, sure, but he's such an asshole! He's probably shit in bed, I bet that's why his wife left him."

"Oh, so he's single?" She chirped, "now that we aren't students, I'm going to do everything I can to get in his pants and prove you wrong."

Were you jealous? Were you upset? You couldn't tell, but what you did know was that everything you just drank was about to come up.

"Hey, are you okay Y/N?" Casey asked, rubbing your arm soothingly.

You shook your head, quickly finding your feet, "gonna be sick."

As you stumbled to the toilet you heard Belle snicker, "see, Case? She agrees with me.

You barely made it to the toilet and thank god it was free. You... y'know, and then straight away dialled Matt's number.

"Hey, sweet girl," he answered almost immediately.

"H-hi, can you please come get me?" You panted, still trying to calm yourself down. You were fighting every cell in your body not to cry.

"Yeah sure, you okay?" Concern laced his tone, the jingle of his keys in the background straight away.

"I'm fine, just wanna go home." You stood up walked to the sink, mascara pooling under your eyes.

"Okay, be there in ten. See you soon."

"Mhm, bye." You hung up, fixing your face before chugging who ever's listerine was on the vanity. Once composed, you headed back out to rejoin your friends.

"Hey, there she is!" Casey cheered, giving you a hug, rubbing your back. "You okay, babe?"

"I'm good," you fake smiled, running a hand through your hair. "Listen, my Uber's nearly here, but I had a really great time."

"No, leaving so soon?" One of the other girls pouted, standing to hug you as well.

"Yeah, I think I overdid it a bit," you chuckled, shifting on your feet awkwardly.

"Well, let us walk you out-"

"No! No, it's okay, really," you reassured them, giving the rest of the girls a hug before grabbing your things. "You guys have fun! We'll catch up soon."

You headed for the door before anybody else could protest, walking down to the end of the street so you'd be out of sight. Matt's car pulled up, rolling his window down to whistle, "how much?"

Normally, you would've laughed or told him to shut up, but you were in no such state right now. Instead you climbed in and hugged him immediately, unable to stop the tears from flowing. "Hey, shh, it's okay, you're okay," he cooed, running his fingers through your hair. You pulled away after a while, hiccupping with your makeup completely ruined. Matt pouted, wiping your mascara away the best he could.

"I think I'm a bit drunk," you laughed, the tears easing up a bit.

"Really?" He gasped sarcastically, laughing with you. "No shit, you smell like Robert Downey Jr. What, you didn't have a good time?"

"No, I did, but then the girls were saying they want to fuck you." You sighed deeply, tears daring to fall again. You left out the part about him being bad in bed, it simply wasn't true. It did upset you though... anyway.

"They wanna fuck me?" He furrowed his brows, unsure if you were really so worked up over that.

"Yes!" You threw your hands up and there came the tears again. "Nobody else can say that! Nobody is allowed to love you but me," you cried into your hands, feeling one of his own rub your back.

"Shhh, it's alright, baby," he hushed you in an attempt to calm you down.

"Only I can love you, Matt." You continued, face red, skin hot and sticky. "Only me."

"I know, honey, only you. It's okay," he kissed you, intermittently stopping the flow of tears.

"Fuck me, then." You demanded, glassy eyes meeting his.

"What?"

"I need you-" you reached up your dress, pulling your underwear off in one swift motion, "to fuck me, now."

"Right here?" He quirked, eyes trained on your hand that was now jacking him off under his sweatpants.

"Yes. Please," you begged desperately, smashing your lips into his.

He kissed you back before hardening fast under your grip, pushing you off him and commanding, "get in the back. Now."

No further convincing needed, you climbed over into the back seat, heart pounding rapidly in your chest. There was something so exciting about being caught with everyone you know so close by.

He opened the backseat door, hiking up your dress before grabbing your legs and pushing them to your chest, placing both of your hands there to hold them in place. With his torso on the seat and his legs crouching out the door, he shoved his face into your folds and ate your pussy like he was starving. The cold sensation of the breeze nipped at your skin, a delicious contrast to his warm tongue that danced along your clit. You let out the loudest, pornographic moan, his hand quickly coming to muffle your cries.

"Shut up," he warned, mouth still attached to you. You tried hard, but inevitably failed, clenching around nothing as your legs trembled. Another loud moan escaped your lips, causing him to pull away. He climbed in as well, slamming the door, roughly grabbing your legs to put them at either side of him. "What'd I say, hm?"

He pulled his pants to his knees, collecting your slick to lube himself up before sliding his whole length in slowly. You whimpered at the feeling, yet you wanted more. You grabbed his hips in an attempt to pull him closer; he got the memo. He began thrusting into you at an ungodly rate, your eyes rolling back, your head continually slamming into the window that was now fogging up. The entire car was shaking, the collective noises from the both of you filling the vehicle, along with the long list of obscenities you often exchanged.

"I love you," you blurted, eyes flinging wide open, hand slapping over your mouth to prevent any more words escaping without your consent.

"Hm?" Matt hummed, slowing his thrusts down almost to a still.

"Nothing-"

"Did you say I love you?" He panted, sure his ears were deceiving him.

"I'm sorry, it just came out, I-"

"I love you too," he smiled, craning down to kiss you. Your heart nearly exploded at the admission, sliding him out of you to wrap your arms around him.

"I love you, I love you, I love you," you drunkenly giggled between kisses, running your fingers through his hair. "Can we go home?"

✴︎✴︎✴︎

The drive home was nice, you sat in comfortable silence listening to Matt's music, stealing glances from one another every so often with the biggest smiles plastered on your faces. This may have been the happiest you'd ever been.

When you got inside, you were greeted by the biggest bouquet of flowers you'd ever seen. A beautiful arrangement with purple flowers and baby's breath. And then more tears.

"Matt," you teared up, falling into his arms.

He laughed, shaking his head at you, smoothing his hands up and down your sides. "Because I'm proud of you, you did it. And you may have also given yourself liver damage."

"I did it," you cried into his chest, ignoring his remark as you continued to babble on. "I wouldn't have made it without you. I love you so much." You sobbed into his chest, your whole body shaking against him.

"No more tears, baby. You should be happy." He grabbed your face in his hands, craning down to reach your lips as you stood on your toes. "This is your night, let me take care of you."

You nodded sheepishly, wiping your eyes before accepting his hand in yours. He led you to the bedroom, setting you down on the bed, kissing your face repeatedly.

"No... more... tears," through each kiss. "Can you do that for me?"

"Yes, sir," you mumbled, lip caught between your teeth. You knew exactly what was coming.

"Gooood girl," he grinned, running his hands up your thighs. Instantly, that heat in your stomach began to pool, running your fingers through his hair as he knelt down to kiss the plush skin of your thighs. You let out a shaky breath at the sensation, wet, open mouthed kisses that were an omen of what was to come.

You shuffled back on the bed, opening your legs beside each side of his head, revealing that you still weren't wearing underwear.

"Fuck," he groaned, now planting those heavenly kisses along your inner thighs, causing you to squirm and wetten fast. He roughly pushed your dress up to your stomach, wasting no time to shove his fingers into your mouth. You drenched them completely, swirling your tongue around his digits slow enough to make the tent in his pants straining painfully against the mattress.

He removed his fingers from your mouth with a pop, sliding them into your entrance slowly. Your mouth fluttered open as a gentle gasp escaped, head tipping back at the feeling.

"You know, I got you something else as well," he started, voice dark, eyes gleaming mischievously. You lifted your head back up, brows still furrowed as you hummed out a, hm?

"Take off your dress, I'll be back," he affirmed, leaving the room with haste. Confused but intrigued nonetheless, you obliged, standing to unzip and slip off your dress, leaving it to pool around your ankles on the floor. You climbed back on the bed when you heard a door in the house shut, the sheer anticipation making your stomach knot.

He walked back in moments later, a box with a black ribbon around it. You sat up and took the box, gazing up at him unsure as you unwrapped your 'gift.'

You opened the box to a series of vibrators, dildos, lube, just about everything you could buy in a sex store. You stammered as your face blushed a deep red. You were... embarrassed?

"Aw, you don't like them, baby?" He taunted, positioning himself between your thighs again. You didn't speak, settling for staring at the ceiling to avoid his gaze at all costs. "C'mon, you'll love it, no need to be shy."

You willingly let him take the box from you, grabbing one of the vibrators out, a cutesy pink one, similar to one you already owned. He licked a stripe up your clit for lubrication, satisfied with the gasp he ripped from you. The buzz of the vibrator made your heart race, and you still couldn't meet his eyes. He held it to your clit on a medium setting first, causing your hips to buck at the sudden feeling.

"Could you cum from this alone?" He prodded, voice husky, dripping with arousal. You nodded with a shaky breath, eyes threatening to close on you. He turned up the speed to the highest setting, making you squirm in place, laboured breaths beginning to escape you. Still holding the vibrator to your clit, he climbed on top of you, using his free hand to play with your nipples.

"Matt," you whimpered breathlessly, guiding his mouth to your hardened bud, being pummelled closer and closer to the edge with every swipe of his tongue. "Kiss me."

And so, he did. Lips connecting with yours instantaneously, the combination of his body weight and warmth of his tongue surely delivering your orgasm with ease. He continued to kiss your open mouth that had slackened from pleasure, your hips bucking beneath him as your eyes found their way into the back of your head; a simple gesture of approval.

The overstimulation caused you to cry out again, attempting to pry the vibrator from his determined hands, "s'too much, please."

"Such a good girl," he praised, kissing your flushed cheeks as he removed the vibrator, pulling himself off of you. You caught your breath as he delved back into the box, pulling out one of the dildos. "Can we try this one?" He checked with you, that beautiful gapped smile on full display. Tonight was going to be all about you.

Albeit embarrassed, you agreed with your arm strung over your eyes, only hearing the cap of the lube open. "Ready, my pretty girl?"

"Mhm," you nodded, preparing yourself for the inevitable stretch. He slowly pushed the silicone in, eyes hooded and greedy as he watched it disappear inside you. You writhed in slight pain, a soft whimper dripping from your lips.

"Tha's it, gooood," he cooed, bringing his thumb down to circle your clit. "Watch yourself," he invited, continuing to slowly thrust the dildo in and out of your sensitive heat. You sat up to watch, jaw going slack at the sight, and you wish you hadn't. The muscles in his forearm flexing as his skilled fingers traced shapes into your sensitive clit, the other hand continuing to pick up the pace. "Think you can cum again for me?"

"Mhm, m-m'close," you whimpered, nails digging into his biceps as he pushed you to your second climax.

"Say my name," he commanded, increasing the pace in both hands, that all too familiar feeling daring to spill once more.

"Matt," you mewled, "fuck- Matt, I'm gonna, fuck!" Just like that, you reached your peak once more, melting into the plush sheets beneath you. "You're gonna kill me," you laughed breathlessly after you calmed down, pushing him down to straddle him. You weren't sure how, but now you were ready for round three. You were sure, though, that after this, you were going to need to abstain from sex for at least a year.

"You deserve it, I won't apologise for that," he grinned, kissing you for what felt like the millionth time that night.

"Let me return the favour, sir?" You quirked in your sudden drunken confidence, knowing what the nickname did to him. You crouched over him, lifting yourself enough to help him slip his pants off. Positive you'd never been so wet in your entire life, you lined his cock up to your entrance and sunk down without warning, ripping a guttural gasp from his flushed lips.

"Oh my god, you feel so good," you cried, bouncing on him in the most picturesque form of ecstasy.

"Yeah?" He moaned, fingers gripping your sides so painfully, it was sure to bruise. "You're so beautiful, look at you."

He really shouldn't have said that, not while you're in the figurative love (and literal) drunk state you were in. You leant forward to rest your head in the crook of his neck, his hands gripping your hips now, guiding you up and down his length at his desired pace. Which you'd learnt by now, was hard and fast. He continued to fuck into you, hitting that dizzying spot with every thrust without fail.

You began crying into his shoulder, unbeknownst to him. He grabbed you by your hair demanding, “fucking look at me,” as he continued with his unrelenting force, pulling you to his eye level. He immediately softened his grip when he saw your teary eyes for the countless time tonight.

“Am I being too rough? I’m sorry, baby,” his face and voice reflected genuine concern, completely halting all movement, leaning up to grab your face.

“I didn’t tell you to stop,” you warned through sniffles, rocking your hips faster against him, hands roughly pushing him back down by his chest. He was confused, but even more so turned on, using your face as leverage for each thrust, kissing you deeply.

It was wildly passionate, lips smashing together in fiery need, teeth clashing every now and then. Both of your lips were swollen and in desperate need to get impossibly closer, wanting to crawl inside of each others bodies.

"I really love you," you cried against his lips, tears streaming down your face at this point. "You're so good to me, professor."

He grabbed your throat gently, the sight of your tear stained cheeks combined with the sweet, yet sultry words that reverberated against his lips coaxed him closer and closer to his own long awaited orgasm.

"I love you princess," he groaned breathlessly, beads of sweat threatening to slide down his temples. "God, you feel so good, I'm not gonna last much longer," he warned, head thrown back, veins bugling through his neck.

You couldn't even think straight at this point, vision blurred, brain foggy, and breathing so laboured, it was making you lightheaded.

You started whining from over stimulation, warning, "I'm gonna cum, I-I don't think I can hold it," you whimpered, hands on his chest now balled into fists, eyes screwed shut in euphoria.

"I know, baby, I know," he cooed, the pitch of his voice an indication that he was just as close as you. "You're taking me so well. You can cum now."

You came undone around him for the third time, legs trembling, sobs wracking your whole body. Almost unintelligible, a plea to your lover, "cum in me, Matt."

And thus, he came undone beneath you, the most heavenly sounds bouncing around the room. You laid together, both sweaty and sticky, but not that either of you minded. You exchanged sweet nothings, basking in the afterglow of your love making. Guess that's one of the first times you could officially call it that.

"Wanna shower?" He offered, giving your forehead one last kiss before getting up.

"Mm," you groaned, practically in a vegetative state at this point. He just laughed, scooping you up bridal style.

"Still got that professor kink, huh?"

"The best professor I ever had," you giggled meekly as he carried you to the shower.

Fin ❤︎

[allexthakatt]

Do I Wanna Know?

Hiii! So I'm back, and I hope this is adequate cuz I just came up with this one in the middle of my shift and now I cannot stop thinking about it.

Warnings: ANGSTTTT! There might be a part 2 coming soon! I swear I tried to make this in one but this is getting reeeaaallly long and I've procrastinated long enough on posting this lol

----

School.

A place you never necessarily appreciated but went nonetheless, a place you really shouldn't be visiting anymore now that you've graduated.

There is one reason, however, that made visiting it daily worth it.

Eddie motherfucking Munson.

Your best friend since you were literal children. You've practically been through everything together. He's seen you at your worst and vice versa. Your best friend who holds you in his arms on your worst days. Your best friend who would be there for you no matter what.

Your best friend; and that's all he'll ever be.

Your feelings for him began in 8th grade, your mom and dad had officially announced their divorce. He'd been there by you as you cried, knowing your dad was leaving for good this time.

"Hey, hey, it's all gonna be okay. Okay? I know your mom isn't the best, but you'll always have me, right? I'm here, sweetheart. I'm here."

That whole night he tried his best to keep a smile on your face. Watching all your favorite movies, listening to your favorite albums, even going as far to let you paint his nails. (Something he'd been heavily opposed to before.)

It was that night you fell in love with him. That night you knew you could see the rest of your life with him.

Little did you know, he fell too.

-

Today was the day. The day you were finally going to tell Eddie how you feel. At this point in your friendship, it was only getting harder and harder to play pretend. Pretend you were absolutely smitten by this man.

There was once a time you'd been so sure you were going to get over him. So convinced that this was nothing but a school girl crush, it'd be over in a few weeks, you told yourself.

But then weeks turned to months, and months turned to years. Now, you're certain the long haired boy would be the death of you. It's the little things, you know? The way he looks at you, the long hugs that just friends really don't do, occasional hand holding, late night movie nights, not to mention the kisses you leave on his cheek every so often.

It was going to drive you mad if you didn't get this off your chest. Regardless on if he feels the same, he deserves to know your real feelings right?

...Right?

"Hey! I kinda need to talk to you at some point today when you get the chance?"

It was lunchtime, and while sure, you've been graduated for two years, no one tries to stop you when you come for lunch. So here you were.

"Yea, we can meet up in our usual spot after school if you want?" The nod of your head signals your agreement, butterflies blooming in your stomach as he looks at you. Then, he looks at the rest of the table before standing to his feet.

"I too, wanna talk about something with all of you! Theres been some... Interesting events that's transpired these last few weeks. I met a lady!"

The table fell silent, the boys trying to decipher whether or not he was just joking. You, however, were frozen. Hoping it was just a new friend.

"Her name is Stephanie, and she's been coming to our shows a lot lately. We started talking, she's actually really cool! And last night? I asked her out and she fucking said yes!"

This was it, the confirmation you needed. He didn't feel the same way. Obviously he didn't. There's no point in telling him your feelings anymore. Especially since now, apparently, he was already taken.

"Shes actually on her way over right now, do you guys wanna meet her? Shes kinda nervous but I assured her you're all cool. So don't be little shits, okay?"

The table as a whole agreed with anticipation. Dustin jokingly saying something about making no promises. Everyone was getting excited. You? You were silent.

"There she is!"

Seemingly out of nowhere came this beautiful girl. Long brown curls, piercing blue eyes, her attire was exactly what you would picture Eddies girlfriend to be. Guns n Roses t-shirt, black leather pants, heeled combat boots with bracelets up the wazoo. Thats not even mentioning her makeup. The perfect middle, not too dark, but not exactly bright either. She was oozing with confidence, making you more or less intimidated. She was perfect. And she wasn't you.

"Hi everyone! I'm Stephanie, but you can call me Steph. It's nice to finally meet you all!"

'Nervous my ass' you thought to yourself. This woman carried herself in the highest manner, and it definitely shows.

You pulled yourself out of your ass long enough to cast a smile at her. Trying not to focus too long on Eddies arms sliding to waist.

Gareth is the first to speak, "It's a pleasure to meet you. I'm Gareth, this is Jeff, Grant, Dustin, Mike, Lucas, and that's Y/n. And on behalf of us all, you better not hurt him. We are the satanic criminals in town!"

Everyone laughed, even you. By this point you had gotten over the initial shock, now looking at Eddie and seeing how absolutely smitten he was with her. Seeing him so happy, so in love, was enough to get out of your thoughts. (At least for right now.)

It isn't his fault you never said anything sooner, even if he did feel the same way at some point. There's no use telling him the truth now, seeing as how you're getting confirmation of your biggest fears right at this moment.

But... seeing the smile on Eddies face as he stares at her, you can't bring yourself to do anything about it. It hurts, yeah. Fuck if it doesn't wreck your body to shreds. But that's your problem. And there's nothing you can really do about it.

The rest of lunch is just everyone getting to know Eddie's new girl, and to everyone's surprise, shes actually pretty nice. She listens to everything everyone says, shes witty and it's actually kind of impressive how well shes keeping up with all the chaos that is the hellfire table.

And that's the worst part. You can't even hate her.

Later on that day you attempt to meet Eddie in the woods near the school. A place he usually uses for deals and such, but it also acts as your meeting point if anything happens.

You don't even know why you still showed up. You're definitely not going to spill the beans about your feelings. However you figured it'd be kind of weird to just flake on him.

Instead, however, he flaked on you.

You'd been waiting for over an hour and a half, and still nothing but silence comes out of the woods. It wasn't hellfire today, and you know there's nothing else going on. Until it hits you.

He's probably with Stephanie.

-

The following weeks are what can only be described by you is hell. You'd kept up the daily schedule of going to the school. If not for Eddie, for everyone else. They were all your friends. Not just Eddie.

But it was getting more and more difficult to pretend you don't care. To pretend it's not a stab in your chest every time you see them kiss, or hug, or hold hands. It's getting to the point where it's impossible.

Your breaking point to edging closer. Truly, how much more could you take? He was happy, clearly, but fuck if it was gut-wrenchingly painful to see.

Dustin, Mike, and Lucas had all known about your pain. The three of them trying their best to keep you busy when you showed a sign of that wall breaking.

It was pretty incredible how mature they were, really. If you didn't know them you wouldn't really think they'd be freshman.

But despite their efforts, that wall you'd tried to hard to build, would soon come crashing down.

Eddie and Stephanie were sitting close together, giggling about some inside joke you'll never know. It was silly, really, to have something this small send you toppling over the edge. It was when Eddie sneaked a kiss to her lips when the wall cracked. Everything you'd bottled up behind it came crashing out. Shattering into millions of pieces, daring to cut into you at any given moment.

You'd made a decision that day. You couldn't do this. Not anymore.

Hellfire could deal without you. Dustin, Mike and Lucas would surely understand. Maybe Grant, Jeff, and Gareth would be confused, but you're sure it wouldn't take a rocket scientist to figure out why you wont be showing up anymore. You just needed to tell Eddie the truth. Something you'd initially decided against, but if anyone deserves to know, it's him.

The Gods have granted you one day without Stephanie. Eddie mentioning her grandma needing her help with something. If you were only going to get this one day, you'd be dammed if you didn't use it.

"Hey Eddie? Can we talk? In private?"

The look on your face sent Eddie a weird feeling, something was wrong. Has been wrong for a few days now. He'd been trying to shake this feeling off, but now, looking at you, he has to face it head on.

"Yeah, sure. Wanna go to our spot?"

You nodded and turned to grab your things. Making your way over to the exit, squeezing Dustins shoulder on the way, letting him know what's about to happen. You turn back, taking one last look at them, seeing them waving sadly at you. Giving them one more smile, you head outside with Eddie.

Once you finally reach the table in the woods, you sit down. The already unstable dam close to breaking.

"Y/n, you gotta talk to me, sweetheart. Did something happen? You've been... Off. These past few days."

You let out a sad little laugh.

"It's been a hell of a lot longer than a few days, Eds. I need to tell you something, and I know it's gonna completely destroy everything. But I- I can't go on much longer denying my own feelings."

Eddie is staring at her, nodding his head, egging her to continue.

"I'm in love with you, Eddie. I have been for so fucking long. And I know it's kinda selfish of me to just tell you now that you have Stephanie, but Eddie, I'm gonna get honest with you, it's getting fucking impossible to see her hung up on your lap every day and pretend I'm okay with that. To pretend I'm not in fucking agony."

She stood closer to him, tears welling in her eyes.

"Remember the day you told us all about Steph? When I told you I had something to tell you?"

He nodded, words getting caught up in his throat. That day he'd lost track of time, by a whole three hours nonetheless. He'd been showing Stephanie the hellfire room, all his figurines and costumes. By the time he realized he'd kept you waiting, you'd already been long gone. You never brought it up again the next day, so neither did he. Maybe he should've.

"That day, I was gonna tell you everything. I was gonna spill my heart out to you right here in our spot. I'm kinda glad you flaked on me that day, actually. I have no idea what I would've said to you.

I tried to keep going, to keep pushing through because you look... So happy. Every time you hug her, or kiss her, or even just laugh with her, Eddie it wrecks me. I can't keep going like this. It's nothing short of torture and I need... To stop."

Eddie stepped away from her a bit.

"Stop? What is that supposed to mean? It's not my fault you didn't say anything before! Now you spring this shit on me out of the blue? Because why? You couldn't handle it anymore? Thats not fair, Y/n."

Eddie was getting overwhelmed. He'd spent so long dreaming about you telling him all this. So long he'd pined for his best friend. Now that he'd finally moved on, turns out she'd felt the same way along? He didn't know what to think.

"I know it's not Eddie! But what would be even more unfair is me disappearing and giving you no explanation as to why. To just leave everyone hanging and no one knowing why... That's why I'm telling you this. Because I cant... I can't continue to wish I was something I'm not."

"And what's that, huh?"

"Yours."

Eddie didn't mean to get so heated. His emotions were everywhere, he didn't know what to think, let alone say next. Fortunately, you did.

"I love you Eddie. And you don't love me and that's okay. But I cannot keep pretending that I don't."

She took a step closer to him, grabbing his hands. He was frozen in place, not knowing what was about to happen.

"You're my best friend, Eddie. I'll always be here for you. Don't ever feel like I'm abandoning you. I just won't be coming around here anymore. I have to do this. For me and you. I know you really like Steph. And you know whats so fucked up about this? I actually like her too. It'd be so much easier if I could just... Hate her. But I can't. Because she makes you happy and that's something I can't bring myself to hate."

You squeezed his hand, looking up at him with tears in your eyes. Not even bothering to wipe them away anymore.

"If you need me, you know where I am."

You gave him one last hug, squeezing to make it last.

With that you let go, and walked away, leaving Eddie trying to put himself back together.

-

When Eddie finally got back to the table, he was silent. The three freshmen looking at him sympathetically. He'd lost his best friend, had he really been so blind?

Eddie tries to think back to all the times you'd spend night together. The times you'd fall asleep on his chest, hands clinging to whatever shirt he was wearing that night. The times you'd jump in his arms from some cheesy horror flick her got, specifically to make you flinch on him. The times Eddie would sneak in your window for no reason other than just wanting to be in your presence.

The times Eddie almost spilled his guts out to you just as you had.

He feels like he's about to throw up. Of course he'd fucked this up, too. Stephanie is really cool, he likes her a lot. But she's not you, and she never will be.

If only he'd just waited. One more day, even! You'd be together, kissing, cuddling, hell he'd even consider taking you to prom seeing as you didn't go to yours. He'd do anything to go back in time, to make this right. To go back to before he'd broken your heart.

You needed your space, he knew that, and maybe, he thinks, this is for the better.

Maybe Y/n and I are just... Not meant to be.

-----------

Part 2??

[mayakern]

hello ! i know this blog is mainly for the store, but i Also am a big spitfire fan whos decided to try to learn to draw in my 30s lmao, so I'm curious — did you struggle with Being Bad At Art at first?? i know it's definitely a Learned Skill, but I'm....understandably terrible, since I JUST started, and I know I get discouraged easily when things don't come to me easily (part of why I'm challenging myself!) so I was just curious if you also struggled with it and if so, how you maybe fought against it. I've seen a couple artists I love talk about it, but you're a personal favorite so lmao

apologies as well if this comes across as intrusive or if you just don't wanna talk about it, which are both fair! i just thought I'd ask 🥰

first off, i’m so happy to hear how much you love spitfire! i’m always happy to get spitfire messages, i just haven’t been posting as much content for it because i’m busy editing and, well, that’s not so easy to show off haha

also this blog isn’t dedicated to any one of my pursuits, it’s just kind of where i put all my stuff (to some people’s dismay and others’ enjoyment)

ANYWAY onto the real question: yes. i think almost everyone struggles with issues of skill and inferiority regardless of their field of study and their skill level.

i first started drawing when i was around 5 and while i don’t have any art i can share from that age, i do have a time capsule of my work that goes all the way back to like 2004 or 2005. i was like 13-14 at this point so i’d already been drawing for like 9 years so this isn’t my starting point, but even still you’ll be able to see a big evolution in my work.

and ironically, the time when i felt worst about my work isn’t when i first started, or even as a teen. it was right around 2013, after i graduated from college and simultaneously had had my first really huge increase in online audience and when i was trying to find an art job. there are other contributing factors, like over all mental health, but how you feel about your work does not directly correlate with skill level.

learning anything new is a humbling and vulnerable pursuit and it’s easy to get discouraged. drawing is an exercise in training both your eye and your hand: training your eye to see more keenly so you can make good judgements in your work, and training your hand’s muscle memory.

[chuck-ridderodder]

Primary thoughts on The Left Hand of Darkness

I've just finished Ursula K. Le Guin's The Left Hand of Darkness, which if you haven't read, I believe a spoiler alert is in order for this post.

After reading The Ones Who Walk Away from Omelas and subsequently devouring the Earthsea Cycle, I have become an avid fan of Le Guin's work, both in fantasy and science fiction. Though I can't help but feel as if I am somehow late to the party in that regard.

This is not to be a full review of The Left Hand of Darkness, as I do believe in letting a book percolate on the brain before passing judgment; however, I do want to share some immediate thoughts.

By God, she can paint a whole society in few strokes. Both Karhide and Orgoreyn are as vivid to me as Venice or Austria (places I have yet to see, but have been related to me by friends and/or acquaintances). Grand cities, quiet villages, and the icy cold of the Gobrin Glacier are impressed upon the reader with the lightest of touches, never breaking the illusion and serving the characters as vivid backgrounds.

I found chapters 15-19 of particular interest. The rythym of the story seemed to change here, and Le Guin takes her time letting Estraven and Genly Ai crawl towards Karhide across the bitter wilderness. The time stretches for the reader as well as the characters, some scenes being repeated from both perspectives.

I believe in these chapters we are more dialed in to the characters' thoughts and feelings, peering closer and closer into the nature of their relationship during their journey. They formed a habit, a routine, monotonous and yet comforting in the simplicity of their mission.

Genly Ai describes how he feels about that time in this passage from the beginning of chapter 18:

"We are inside, the two of us, in shelter, at rest, at the center of all things. Outside, as always, lies the great darkness, the cold, death's solitude. In such fortunate moments as I fall asleep I know beyond doubt what the real center of my own life is, that time which is past and lost and yet is permanent, the enduring moment, the heart of warmth. I am not trying to say that I was happy, during those weeks of hauling a sledge across an ice-sheet in the dead of winter. I was hungry, overstrained, an often anxious, and it all got worse the longer it went on. I certainly wasn't happy. Happiness has to do with reason, and only reason earns it. What I was given was the thing you can't earn, and can't keep and often don't even recognize at the time; I mean joy."

Joy. Despite the pain, cold, and weariness Genly Ai describes a feeling of joy. What is the source of this joy? He doesn't exactly say. He deems this period in his life as the center, a theme that comes up in earlier chapters dealing with Gethenian mythos. The center of ones life, the center of time, etc.

Just before being rescued by Estraven he is trapped in a work/death camp in Orgoreyn, which he will surely remember as the worst time of his life, the most miserable. That is not deemed the center, or the most important. It's the warmth of the tent, the seclusion on the ice, and the forging of the companion-bond between he and his companion that Genly Ai cites as the center. A bond that is quickly (spoiler) broken when Estraven dies.

They are not romantically involved, nor sexually. They just work together, they survive together.

I think that extreme of a situation is not one that is easily come by for any reader. However, at least for myself there are a few memories that I could deem the "center" of my life as it stands today. These memories somewhat echo the experiences of Genly Ai and Estraven. One in particular was an afternoon spent alone with a friend before we parted after graduating from university. We cried, and lay in the sun in my empty dorm room until the sun drifted towards the horizon. I felt an intense bond to this person, and even today can picture that tiny room, the sunlight through the window, and the color of their eyes. I felt (at the time) that I was in the center of time. The center of my life.

In some later passages Genly Ai recalls specific details about Estraven's hair, or the smell of the tent that feel oddly familiar to how I experience memories that I've carried with me. Maybe I don't recall the conversations, but I'll remember certain details forever.

I'm not exactly sure how the comments/messages works on Tumblr.com yet, but please let me know your thoughts if you have any differing opinions or notes. I would love to discuss this book! Again, it's quite fresh to me so I am still settling on my opinions etc.

[sebastianstansqueen]

Where Do We Go from Here 1

A/N: I'm going to up date this series usually Every other Thursday But I thought I'd give ya'll the first official part today , if you want to be Tagged, either send an ask or comment on this or click on Taglist open.

Wordcount: 1,491

Warnings:  Angst, arguing, brash commentsI think that is all actually

Masterlist // Series Masterlist // Taglist open// Spotify Playlist

Tags: @cherryblossomsky - - @babylooneytoonz - @wonderlandfandomkingdom - @miraclesoflove - @amelia-song-pond - @leyannrae - @avengerlex - @pineprincess - @nik2writes - @dorothea-hwldr - @rosie-posie08 - @scxrletrecsmarvel - @elizacusi-blog - @valhalla-kristin

You hadn’t seen Bucky since graduation, from high school, and it made you a hell of a lot more nervous than it probably should have but hey the last time you saw the man he had been a dick towards you so you’d guess that was reasonable enough. What you were invited to was a ‘family’ dinner, more like a party, mostly filled with some family and the rest just mafia family members. As much as you wanted to avoid Bucky tonight, you knew you couldn't do that, if anything that would be the worst way to handle the situation, you currently wore a long black tulle dress with a plunging neckline and two slits in the legs, and black stilettos, your hair and make up done to perfection, you walked out to the large black SUV with one of your fathers drivers in it waiting for you. 

The party was grand for being outside it had gorgeous lighting, along with large trees and dark green lush grass, you walked nervously pushing a peace of hair behind your ear, your heart beat fast and rough in your chest, you took a few deep breaths, you’re father found you and hugged you. “How have you been in the past week?” He asked you. 

“Nervous since you asked me to marry my childhood best friend, who pushed me away in high school.” You said a little bit bitterly. “I’m sorry if I sound harsh.” You apologize for your words. “I’m just nervous.”

You walked around saying hi to old friends of the family, everyone but Bucky you had talked to you were doing exactly what you didn’t want to do avoidance. So eventually you sucked it up and walked up to your soon to be fiance, Bucky had the same dyed balck hair that sat at the nape of his neck where a tattoo you’d hadn’t seen before sat on the right side of the neck. You were so close and you sucked in a breath. “Hi.” You said as you stood across from him. 

“Hey.” His deep voice rang out. 

“So, how have you been in the last ten years?” You questioned. 

Bucky looked at you, and he shook his head. “Let's not try formalities Y/n.” He said harshly. “This is a shitty situation that we are both stuck in.”

“Okay, so you're still keeping me at an arm's length, good to know.” You huffed out as you walked away from him just trying to be nice. 

You shook your head at yourself you should have known he wouldn’t have changed, but the tiers burned in your eyes, you truly did care for Bucky he didn’t seem to care for you, and you don’t think he ever would. You walked up to your father who was talking to George Barnes once again. “Hello Y/n, I am so glad to see you once again, my how you’ve grown.” The older man hugged you. Then he pulled away and noticed your eyes look glassy. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing Sir.” You pushed off. 

He looked at you with furrowed brows. “You were just talking to my son, did he do something?” 

“No Mr. Barnes, I am fine, just a little tired. I've been up since five working on a case.” You huffed. “I think I need to go back home.” You smiled weakly before heading out. 

 George looked towards his son. “I’m sorry if he did anything to upset your dear daughter Henry, I don’t fucking understand what gets into my child when it comes to her.” He apologized, then walked towards said man.

Bucky looked at himself, he wore a simple tux with the jacket, shirt, pants and tie, he kept his hair in the usual style he wore it in. He headed down to his collection of luxury cars, he got in and started the vehicle, he pulled out and went through the large garage, once out of the gate of his property is when the anxiety hit him, what the hell was he going to say to Y/n when he saw her, what was he going to do this wasn’t going to be the night that he proposes to her, but this was the night he first has seen her in ten years, he wondered if you’d died your hair, like he has for a multitude of years. 

Bucky got to the outdoor party and he walked into it to find his and your father talking together, he huffed and thought that was his only option, but he was stopped by Steve. “Thought you could use a shot.” Steve told his closest friend, holding out the drinks. 

“Thank god for you.” Bucky said taking the shot and throwing it back.

Steve smirked. “Are you nervous to see her again?” 

Bucky huffed, about to say something when your father rushed across the yard, Bucky’s eyes followed the man seeing him hug Y/n, her y/h/c hair was long but curled while her makeup was done up to notch, and her well pedicured hand patted her fathers back you hadn’t changed but at the same time you did you changed into an elegant refined woman, Bucky was tempted to walk over to her but he held himself back he knew that once she was safe and could get out of this marriage she would devorce him. 

Bucky watched as Y/n walked about and talked to old friends and ‘family’ Bucky knew she would eventually make her way towards him Steve currently kept him company while he waited for her to come up he prepared what to say to her. Then she eventually did come up to him. “Hi.” Her kind eyes looked directly into his blue ones.

He smiled softly. “Hey.” 

Then he forced himself to harden his expression, she looked up at him still with a gentle look in her eyes and a soft smile. “So, how have you been in the last ten years?” 

Bucky shook his head, he told himself he was keeping his distance, this was how he was defying his father.  “Let's not try formalities Y/n. This is a shitty situation that we are both stuck in.” It came out a lot fucking ruder than he ment. 

Y/n nodded, giving a tight lipped smile. “Okay, so you're still keeping me at an arm's length, good to know.” She huffed walking away.

Steve stood next to him with a judgemental look on his face. “I know I fucked up.” Bucky told his friend. 

“I know why you started to push her away in high school. Why do it now when you have to do this?” Steve questions looking at the campaign he held. 

They watched as Y/n hugged Bucky’s father, before she left, Bucky stood there for a moment before his father came up. “What the hell did I tell you last week?” His father hissed. 

Bucky got snarky. “Do you want me to quote you exactly?” 

George nodded. “Why not?” The older man shrugged, Winnifred came up to prevent a screaming match or a physical fight. 

Bucky’s nostrils flared. “I’m going to do the big proposal thing, and I’m going to have the big wedding and the honeymoon and I’m going to be a good husband and I’m going to do all that is needed to win her over, and get her to love me, father I listened, but I have some things I want set up for her.” 

“Talk. To. Henry.” George snipped. 

Bucky huffed, before walking towards the man whom he had a plentiful amount of respect for and that was Y/n’s father he stood waiting as a woman hit on the man probably for his money Bucky excused himself into the conversation. “James.” Henry spoke in a neutral tone. 

“Hello Mr. Y/l/n, um I want to talk about the union between me and Y/n.”  He spoke to the man. 

“What is it James?” Henry asked the younger man. 

Bucky inhaled sharply. “I want it to be like a normal marriage.” 

“I intended it to be a quote, ‘normal marriage’.” Henry told him as he slowly sipped on the drink in hand. 

“Not that type of normal, our normal.” Bucky emphasized.

Henry tensed at what he was implying. “I won’t ask that of my daughter, James, I’m not like you. I will not hurt her, rather I don’t care if it is physical or mental.” 

“I have never hurt her.” Bucky said with a clenched jaw.

“Tell a sixteen year old Y/n who was devastated when you told her that all she was useful for was to get married and to look pretty, she has a very successful career as a lawyer. I won't ask her to give it up for something she has worked for.” Henry told him. “If you want it you work up the balls and talk to my daughter.”

[catboybiologist]

Hello, I've heard from a few trans women that their transition made higher education impossible I wasn't sure if they were talking about college or grad school, but since you're a woman in a PhD program I was wondering if you think transitioning would make getting a higher education harder.

Thanks

Someone who might be trans that wants to pursue a master's

Hm. This is weird to answer. Unfortunately I can't offer TOO much insight here. I'm very much a baby trans (~1.5 months HRT) and I present as a man day to day without issue (seriously, y'all have NO idea how masculine I look outside of my pictures). When I do finally socially transition, I'll probably have more thoughts.

With that out of the way, here's my personal experience so far:

I don't think I would have transitioned if I was NOT in academia/pursuing my PhD. I think most of the issues people run into can be divided into three categories:

1. Financial difficulty with acquiring HRT or other gender affirming care

2. Closer ties (financially and emotionally) to family and being seen less as an independent adult means greater pressure to not transition, and consequences if you do

3. Academic stress and pressure while you're undergoing emotional changes that may make things difficult short term.

Personally I was able to dodge most of those issues.

A huge part of this is because I spent a lot of time meticulously ensuring a lot of aspects of my life are in place before I started HRT. I waited until I was out of undergrad, which has weirder finances, I scoped out options at my student health center vs in the community, established queer community, waited a year to start in a good lab and establish there, scoped that lab out for queer acceptance before I joined, and in general became more financially and emotionally secure. Also, while I'm still in good terms with my parents, I'm not financially or emotionally reliant on them anymore- so if that changes when I come out, it won't affect me as much.

Looking back, it's hard to say whether I would recommend doing things this way. During the time that I was "figuring things out", I was dying. I was depressed and aimless, and I couldn't make happiness or contentment my baseline emotion. Starting an online femboy account was my only outlet for a while. Also, my results are going to be less drastic now that I've waited until I'm 25 to start.

Obviously, I still have the stress of a PhD to worry about while my emotions and body are changing. But to be honest.... My PhD has been kinder to me academically than my undergrad. All of my goals center around two or three long term, overarching projects instead of a million tiny assignment and study snippets from a million directions. I personally think this is easier to manage even if it's more work overall.

In return, the academia environment has been good to me about my queerness. There's a gender care specialist on campus via student health where I can get HRT, queer organizations and events are much easier to come by in a university environment, and people on average are far more educated and open minded towards LGBT issues than the general public. I have a role in the main queer graduate student group here, and it would have been hard for me to find explicitly supportive friends without that.

I'm gonna throw an additional paranoid note your way: a master's degree is hell for everyone. While the exact ways in which this is true vary from program to program, but in general, they feel like the worst of both worlds from undergrad and a PhD. You're locked out of or have less of a chance for the financial stability and employment positions of a PhD position, but you're also locked out of the financial aid and support of undergrads. I'm very biased from a miserable MS experience, though.

So yeah. I think my experience has been different than a lot of people, but I hope there was some small insight there!

[retrobr]

Lazytown Shenanigans Pt. 7

I was too lazy and tired to make a post yesterday, so this time I have to talk about three episodes in a row: "Time to Learn," "Let's Go to the Moon," and "Robbie's Dream Team." And, therefore, this rambling is going to be the longest one in this series so far. I mean, THE LO-O-ONGEST one (you have been warned guys) 💀

Also I didn't take any screenshots from the "Time to Learn" episode and there are very few of the other two, so please accept my apologies in advance!!

It's very doubtful that someone will read it till the very end, but let's begin, I guess 😭

"Time to Learn."

I can't say that this episode was very interesting, at least compared to other ones that will be mentioned in this post very soon, but there were some amusing and cute moments. Maybe that's because I was tired once again while I was watching it, but whatever

The episode started with Robbie rambling about Sportacus, as usual 🤭. But anyway, this is not the most important part of that scene; I have some other things to say about it

First of all. In some previous posts I declared that Robbie is a fucking genius, which is true in my opinion, but omg. Bro is kinda stupid in terms of school subjects, such as math, for example. Not blaming him in any way, I sucked at math as well when I studied in school, but this somehow doesn't fit in with the fact that he can build such complex and knowledge-intensive mechanisms... Bro is stupid, but not completely I guess 😭

Second of all, it was kinda amusing to me that Stephanie didn't notice all those silly scribbles of Sportacus at all. She just looked at the blackboard and was like, "OMG ROBBIE YOU'RE DOIN' MATH THAT'S SO COOL." Girl look at those drawings, why don't you pay any attention to it 🙄

And third of all, I can't help but say that it was so freaking adorable that Stephanie took her time to help Robbie with math, and he was actually listening to her. Family bonding 🥹

But enough of that silly scene. I was somewhat surprised that Robbie didn't end up at least in the top five of the best antagonists; I mean, have you even seen what he's able to create using only improvised materials? Have you even known that he makes all that shit on his own and has no assistants at all? Even though his plans don't work out all the time, he's definitely not the worst, but not the best antagonist either. And I don't even want to hear anything about graduation from school (because of the lack of that, he was identified as the worst antagonist). He's pretty good at his occupation even without it

I've gotten too defensive, so let us continue. Being a pretty big fan of the NatM movie franchise as well, I was SO HAPPY to hear Amelia Earhart's name in this episode (she was in the second NatM movie). When Bessie asked kids about the first woman who flew across the Atlantic Ocean, I was like "OH SHIT I KNOW I KNOW WHO THAT WAS-"

Also I think that I remember the song from that episode. I have a vague memory of hearing that song in Russian dubbing when I was a kid, so that was a very nice experience 🥺

Some words about the funny thing. It cracked me up when Robbie loosened the fastenings at the door and MEANSWELL ACCIDENTALLY BLEW THE FUCK OFF THAT MISERABLE DOOR AND LANDED HIS HEAD IN AN IRON BUCKET. I LITERALLY CHOKED ON THE AIR WHEN I SAW IT 😭😭

Since I mentioned Robbie, let's talk about him once again (I'll never get tired of talking about my favorite dorks)

I will not leave unvoiced the fact that Robbie ALMOST ate at least one Sportscandy — a banana, in this case. HE ALMOST DID IT. GOOD FOR HIM!! And one little detail from that scene: it was Ziggy who shared that banana with him. This once again confirms that Ziggy is the best kid ever; he's not sorry to share something with other people at all, whether it's his favorite sweets or Sportscandy 🥺

And now for my favorite part... ;]

This was kind of one of those episodes in which Robbie didn't act that mean towards Sportacus (let's forget about the very beginning of the episode because it's not that significant). He was even too excited to ask him some questions when Sportacus visited them to save Meanswell, and as far as I understood he had quite a lot of questions (and who's the main Sport's fan here now? /j), but the opportunity to ask him anything was given to Ziggy. Robbie was somewhat frustrated :(

Plus Robbie genuinely thanked him when he was saved, and it seemed to me that there was no falsehood at all; he wasn't annoyed or anything like that, at least, and for once he was pretty happy to be saved 🥺

The last thing that I'll mention about this episode is that I felt pretty bad for Stephanie when she didn't pass the final exam because of Robbie, while all of her friends succeeded in that. That was quite cruel on his part, stealing her answers from her and changing them to his own; like dude, she literally helped you that morning.. I hate to see when nice characters are crying, poor girl :(

Ok, now let's move on to the next episode,

"Let's Go to the Moon."

That episode was something. I mean it in the sense that this episode probably has one of the most beautiful views and landscapes; I should also point out that I'm a complete sucker for all those space-related things (my love for "Guardians of the Galaxy" can prove it very well), so that episode was a real eye-candy for me

I mean, just look at this:

PURPLE LIGHTING. SPACE. STARS. 😭

This episode is very well done, and when I say "very well done" I really mean it

But enough of my drooling over the episodes' appearance, let's touch on the topics of the plot and some moments from there!!

I was fucking shocked when I saw that there was a WHOLE UNDERGROUND GARAGE WITH A ROCKET in the yard of Pixel's house. How... How is this kid still not part of some super-fancy university for prodigies? I doubt that someone helped him build all that shit, so apparently he did it all by himself. Wow 💀

And the scene in which Bessie and Milford thought that kids are just playing and it's not real killed me fr; like, no, my darlings, they are actually going to the fucking moon 😭

I was somewhat amused by the fact that Robbie was so fed up with the kids' games and fuss that he literally decided to leave the earth and rest on the moon. Gosh, just let the dude rest properly for once; he's an old man, after all, and he really needs some quiet at times... /hj

And even then the kids didn't let him rest. They literally went to the moon right after him (just for funsies), started to dance and play, and then met Robbie and thought that he was an alien. Ziggy was the very first one to stumble upon him:

And Ziggy was pretty startled to see a supposed alien, which quite confused me. Wasn't he the one who wanted to make friends with an alien in the "Ziggy's Alien" episode and wasn't scared of Robbie disguised as an alien at all?.. The boy changed his mind apparently 🙄

And since we're talking about fears and all this shit, it was a somewhat sad sight to see a scared Robbie. The man was afraid that he would be left completely alone on the moon without any chance to come back home because his spaceship was somehow broken. I understand his fear, but I think there was no great reason to be that afraid; Sportacus' gadgets would've sooner or later given a signal that someone was in trouble, and therefore he could've counted on salvation :]

Also. A small detail that made me smile like a dork. Robbie laid down to sleep in the crater with Sportacus' apple laying in it (in the very beginning of the episode he threw an apple there with a baseball bat). My brain goes fuzzy and my chest goes warm 🥹💜

In the final part of the rambling about this episode, I would like to point out that I didn't quite understand the behavior of the kids at the end of the episode; they were indignant because of Robbie's appearance, but WHY?? He literally didn't do anything wrong in this episode, he just wanted to rest and, a little later, wanted to go home. Why are they so mean to him without any significant reason; don't judge him for nothing, or just leave him be, at least 😭

In general, this episode looked very beautiful, and I can say that this is probably one of my favorite episodes so far. Not because of the characters' interactions, not because of my beloved dorks, but just because this episode looks absolutely amazing :]

Now for the most delicious part of this post,

"Robbie's Dream Team."

OH MY GOD YES. THIS ONE. ONE OF THE MOST ICONIC EPISODES IN THIS SHOW. I FUCKING LOVED IT BECAUSE OF A LOT OF THINGS 👊👊

But let's calm down for a minute and talk about everything in order...

I won't keep quiet about that scene in which Sportacus balanced on two basketballs while standing on one hand... How. How does he even do that. I was literally sitting there with my mouth wide open; I don't know, maybe there was some trick with those basketballs, and they were kinda attached to the floor, because I don't quite believe that he was able to do it without those basketballs rolling away. That man literally consists of a bunch of talents; seriously, he's amazing 😭

Not far from the topic of my favorite dorks: this was another episode in which Robbie once again spends all his time and efforts on catching Sportacus. This one was almost entirely dedicated to his futile attempts to catch him, but the funny part is that bro didn't even know why exactly he needed to catch Sportacus in the first place; initially his main goal was just catching and kidnapping him. For no reason. Robbie came up with the plan of getting rid of him only when he finally caught him 🤭

And his frustrated "How does he always do that??! :(" when Sportacus didn't end up in his trap once again was so fucking amusing; I dunno buddy, maybe that's because that trap was too small? 😭

By the way, in this episode he attempted to catch Sportacus three times (at least I was able to count this number of attempts): the first one in the beginning with a trap in the ground, the second one with a cage that was attached to the tree, and the third, successful one. He was really dedicated in that episode, as I see 😏

Maybe that's a little off topic, but it was also the fourth episode in the whole season (I've watched five episodes from this season so far, just for reference) in which he tries, or at least intends, to feed Sportacus a sugar apple. Apparently bro realized that this was the most effective and fail-safe remedy against him

Also, just take a look at this pathetic creature. And this is your so-called "master of disguise" 😭 /j

Ok but whatever. Let's move on and talk about the second attempt at catching Sportacus; there were some amusing moments as well 😈

This time the kids, Stephanie and Stingy, were spying on him, and they saw the final stage of setting up the trap. You know guys, in some of my previous posts I joked that Robbie's behavior towards Sportacus is kinda suspicious, AND, WELL, I DIDN'T EXPECT THAT STINGY WILL LITERALLY VOICE MY THOUGHTS ABOUT THAT BECAUSE HE LITERALLY SAID, "Hmm there's suspicious behavior" 😭😭

(I know I misinterpreted that phrase but let me be. I just thought that was too funny and I actually laughed like crazy when i heard that 💀)

And I should admit that it was kinda nice to see that kids wanted to help him, because, well, they didn't know Robbie's true intentions since he lied to them. They know that he's a villain, and they probably shouldn't take part in catching someone for him, but they still suggested some help 🥺

Speaking of the kids, it was one of the few episodes in which Stingy was pretty tolerable in my opinion. He didn't do anything selfish or bad, which quite surprised me, and I didn't feel any annoyance because of him. Enemies to lovers trop? /jj

Finally. Now we're going to talk about the most important part of this episode — something that made this episode iconic throughout the show and in meme culture: THE ROBBIE'S GANG. 

OH MY FUCKING GOD, HOW MUCH I LIKED THOSE DORKS. Unfortunately I didn't remember each of them by name (I have a very bad memory), but I remember that in general their names were Bobby, Tobby, and Flobby. I really liked them and the way they look, and I mean it genuinely. And now I really want to read some fics that include them because they are so precious 🥺

One of them kinda reminded me of an Oompa-Loompa from Tim Burton's "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory," but we won't talk about it 😭

AND THE SONG. THE SONG. "WE ARE NUMBER ONE" WAS A BIG PART OF MY CHILDHOOD BECAUSE IT WAS A VERY POPULAR MEME BACK THEN. THE FEELING OF NOSTALGIA THAT SONG GAVE ME WAS INDESCRIBABLE AND I FUCKING LIVE FOR IT. But seriously, the melody and the instrumental accompaniment were very catchy; it's a top-tier song in the whole show imo and I won't shut up about how much I love it

Speaking of nostalgia, this episode in general was pretty nostalgic to me, because I have a weird vague feeling that I've seen this episode on some sunny spring morning when I was like, nine or ten years old?? What I'm trying to say is that while I was watching this episode, I had a small feeling like I watched it once before going to school, but I don't remember it; I just feel it. If it makes any sense 😭

But fine, let's move on. It seemed pretty cute to me that after Stephanie and Stingy helped Sportacus get over his sugar meltdown, he BECAME FRIENDS WITH ROBBIE'S GANG. They were all so happy to play together in the lair and on the sports field, since, well, they literally said that they didn't want to become villains. I'm literally smiling right now while writing it because IT'S SO CUTE OMG 🥺

The last thing that I'll mention, or, to be more precise, show, is this scene

Yeah like. I get you dude; it's always nice to watch pretty men sleeping 🤭 (i mean Sportacus wasn't sleeping but was feeling pretty shitty because of his sugar meltdown but let's put all the details aside 💀)

In conclusion, this episode is definitely and undoubtedly one of my favorites. Some of the reasons for that are the nostalgia factor and the presence of some new characters. Oh and the badass song, of course

OK SO THAT IS THE END OF THIS POST, FINALLY. I know for sure that most people won't read it till the end, but I have completed my own mission: to put all my thoughts in order. But if someone actually took their time to read it all, then, guys, I can't say anything less than you are the best. /gen 

I spent 4 hours writing all this shit, so it means so very much to me that someone read it till the end!! Thank you genuinely and have a good day, your attention is very-very-very appreciated :) 💜

[iisasarcasticlittleshite]

Katsuki Bakugo x GN!Reader (Confession or Mess)

Okay so, this is not the best thing I've ever written, but I've been wanting to write a fic for Mr Explosion Murder for AGES and it's finally done!

Thank you @mystikalini for giving me a shove to get this done, hopefully I'll be happier with the next one...hint hint.

To say that (Y/N) and Katsuki's friendship is a peaceful one would be an absolute lie. Nothing about the bombshell blonde is peaceful, and (Y/N) is equal parts calming and catalyst.

It had always been that way, even back in the UA days when Kirishima had been downright worried about Bakugo's social skills, or lack thereof.

If not for the Bakusquad, would Katsuki even have a friend group? Kiri and Mina had pretty much adopted the angry pomeranian, but to the rest of the world he was a downright scary force of nature.

His worried were thrown out the window, by (Y/N)'s arrival on the hero scene.

The same age and with a quirk to stop Katsuki in his tracks, (Y/N) hadn't shied off Bakugo's rough edges and soon became a part of the blonde's life after graduation.

(Y/N) lives life toeing a line between poking the blonde, and backing him up, half the time one would think they'd just pissed him off, but Katsuki always stops short of boiling point and soon they're back to calmly judging other people together.

He shares food with (Y/N), denies ever cooking for them even though he's not fooling anyone. (Y/N) makes him playlists and tries to make him laugh with the names and random themes of them all, it works, somehow.

Most importantly, it's comfortable, so why...why does he want it to change?

It happened slowly at first, a flutter in his chest, warmth in his face whenever they laughed just right because of him, but then it came all at once, and there's no mistaking this feeling.

Katsuki's in love, and it's killing him.

Soon it will be ten years that (Y/N) has been in his life, they've seen him climb the hero charts into this three way dance with his former classmates, and never fail to know exactly what to say when Deku or Shoto inevitably dethrone him.

They've seen him at his best, backed him up at his worst, and knocked him down a peg when he's being an asshole.

They're perfect, just like this, so why...why have they caught him staring in the agency four times this week? Why does he want to watch them come in from a successful mission just so he can watch their hips sway with that special kind of swagger, why-why is he in love with them?

It's driving him nuts, for the month he's known it's slowly become impossible to ignore until it comes out, as usual, in the worst way possible.

Being snappy is nothing new for him, usually when there's something on his mind, so the glower did nothing to lesson (Y/N)'s smile.

'Hey! Did you see the group chat? Movie night at Mina's. You're coming, right?'

'M fuckin' busy.' He grumbled, glaring at his computer screen as if he could burn a hole in it.

'We're always fuckin' busy,' (Y/N) chuckled, undeterred as they perched on the edge of his desk comfortable.

With his scowl lowered, he watched the fabric of their costume shift as the plushness of their thigh settled against the hard edge of his desk.

Such a ridiculous thing to notice, an entirely non platonic thing, and it lights a fuse behind his eyes.

With those crimson orbs lowered, (Y/N) doesn't get to see the warning lights. Why would they look for them, it's Bakugo, those explosions are never aimed at them.

'She's on about this new horror movie that came out, but I honestly can't think of anything worse than being scared shitless on purpose so if she keeps pushing I'm hidin' behind your ass.'

That's right, (Y/N) hates horror movies, the other time Kaminari made them watch one they'd tucked in so tight to Katsuki's side the blonde couldn't move an inch for most of the movie.

The thought of that closeness, that level of comfort and trust, the little whimpers they let out every time something loud happened on screen-

His hands slammed down on the desk, and the firecracking pops were the only warning (Y/N) had to get clear as the temperature in his office suddenly spiked ten degrees.

'Back off!' He demanded. 'I can't do this shit anymore! You're such an attention whore!'

The words came flying, senseless, meaningless to his mind. It's a special kind of panic that takes hold of him when he realises what he's done.

(Y/N)'s heard him say some shit, they've been on the receiving end of countless playful insults, said in his growling tone but never meant to bite.

This...that wasn't a joke.

They've jumped clear and put his desk between them, their eyes clear and calm, as if assessing a threat in the field, but he's not to be fooled, he knows there's hurt there.

He hurt them, stupidly, needlessly.

'I...guess I'll tell Kiri you're not coming.'

No, no that isn't right, there's no fight, resignation, defeat, pain, but no fight, and as they turn and leave him to his petulant internal rambling he can barely spur himself to stand.

This is stupid, his feelings are stupid. He's not an idiot, he understands them and knows he's not thinking straight when they're around anymore.

He thought he could hold it in, wait for it to blow over like some internal storm of clusterfuck, but that's not working, and now he's hurt (Y/N) over it.

Resolved to do the only other thing he could think to do, he threw himself to his feet, and made a plan.

If he's gonna confess, that it's gonna be the best damn confession anyone's ever seen goddamnit!

(Y/N) may well be a social butterfly on the day-to-day, but alone time feels incredible after a taxing day of patrols.

Their home is quiet, safe, a place to unwind alone, play music and just drift.

Or at least, it would be, if their mind weren't ever wandering to his words, that tone, the times (Y/N)'s found him staring across the room...

(Y/N) found themselves absently fidgeting on the sofa, staring off into nothing as they turned their thoughts over and over again in their head. Maybe he'd figured out the crush? They thought they'd hidden it well enough but...maybe relying on him so much had been the wrong move.

Then again, Katsuki does rely on them just as much. He trusts (Y/N), it feels dirty to lie.

The doorbell is a shrill sound, snapping them clear out of their thoughts like a splash of cold water, heard even past the background music they'd put on.

'Who the fuck-?'

'Oi, open the damn door!'

'Ah, Bakugo.'

Here for a late night mission? Had something gone wrong?

Something involving...flowers?

The roses are the first thing they saw as they pulled open the door, a dozen red blooms spreading that delightful scent around the porch as Bakugo practically death gripped them at his side.

'Uh...Bakugo?' (Y/N) blinked, then blinked again to make sure they weren't dreaming because they could have sworn that Katsuki Bakugo is standing on their doorstep in a damned suit, looking like the best thing ever born.

The deep breath he took had broad shoulders shifting under the tailored material of the suit, painting delicious lines of his figure as he forced himself to relax and hold out the bouquet.

'Take it, it's my apology.'

His tone is softer than (Y/N)'s used to as they ease the delightfully scented bouquet to their chest, unable to resist the urge to smile.

'They're beautiful, thank you.'

The heart can't take it, it feels three sizes too big for their chest, and it's not about to get any better.

'Don't thank me, I was an ass. Figured I could handle it without you noticing, but I guess that ain't happenin'.'

(Y/N) blinked owlishly. His eyes are on them now, and there's something in those maroon depths that they don't recognise. There's warmth there, softness, directed at...

'Bakugo, handle what?'

He smiled then, the slightest curl to his lips, a softness that almost feels alien, contradicted by his tone.

'I outta get you fired! What kinda detective doesn't notice their best friend's got the hots for 'em?'

The words sat at the front of their mind until they sank in, and all hell broke loose.

'Excuse the fuck outta me?! You coulda told me you raging assho-!'

(Y/N) never got to finish, never even noticed the roses fall, replaced with the smell of his cologne, and the softness of his lips against theirs.

His hands fall, big and warm, wrapped around their frame, cradling their body to his as he kissed the breath from their lungs.

(Y/N) melted, practically purring as every fibre of their being screamed: finally!

'If I knew you kissed like that, I would have told you sooner.'

'You're an ass.'

'I'm honest, and you love me.'

'Fuck, I really do.'