#We Need To Talk;;

[dis--parity]

The Unkindness

Trigger warnings: None Word Count: 2165 Author’s Notes: At LONG LONG long last, the story continues! Thank you all for being so patient as I work through my writer's block, I hope you enjoy this new chapter!

CHAPTERS hit and miss. | The Unkindness

“Do you feel as though you deserve the way you’re being treated?”

“... do I feel like I deserve it? What kinda question is that?”

“One I believe to still be necessary - simply to understand your perspective and response to her attitude towards you. Feelings change, and talking about what they tell you now will help, Theo.”

We’ve tread over the same ground so many times it feels like it’s the only path we’re able to take any more. In spite of all the times she insists that all choices and habits are a dirt road, conflict and bitterness are the only things in my life that are set in stone - and for want of a chisel, I’m forced to watch the picture of stability erode in front of me.

It’s getting harder to believe that a good therapist can fix that for me.

“I mean… shouldn��t it be obvious?” I huff. “I’ve been trying for God knows how long to better myself, but it means nothing to her. I went into my new job thinking I could stop being… haunted by the shit I’d done, and the road I thought I’d take. I really wanted to believe I could start over… and then she turns up. Every second we’re around each other, more and more of the progress I thought I made just… doesn’t register with her. It’s like I’ve always been the same person. Feelings change, yeah, but… people don’t. Not to her, and there’s no fuckin’ way she’s gonna stop thinkin’ of evil when she sees me.”

The silence is broken only by the gentle stroking of a pen against paper. I’ve gotten so used to it that I hardly even notice it at times, between the glare of those green eyes behind her glasses, framed by straight, perfectly-groomed ginger hair. Even the way her unchanging expression sits upon her umber skin feels like the cold, harsh judgement of a god I abandoned long ago at times.

“Remind me; how long has this been going on for, now?”

I was just about to ask that, actually - how long have we been stuck on this bullshit?

“Since we met again. Six, seven months ago. I didn’t even recognise her at first, ‘cause of the whole-” 

No. For all the things in the past I need to dwell on, the one thing that doesn’t matter is who she was.

“-nah, forget it, that’s the one thing I’ve never had an issue with. Her new identity was the easiest thing for me to adjust to, and, like- despite why I’m here, I’m happy for her, y’know? I just wish she hadn’t decided to bitch-slap me with her robot arm when all I wanted was to try and say hi.”

 I’m only left to wonder if the scratching of her pen is any indication that being bitch-slapped was something of note.

“And your boss?” she asks. “What’s he had to say about all this?”

“That’s the thing - he hasn’t said anything. Whenever we’re in the room together, he just tries to keep us apart. At the very least, he keeps an eye on us… but, right now he’s hardly even around to do that.”

“Your workplace keeps him busy?”

“Nah. Right now, he’s training for some kind of marathon for the charity we sponsor, so I’m holdin’ down the fort. I’ve only ever got the chance to talk to him about this whole Alex situation once, and all he told me was, like… that he’s tryin’ to keep things neutral between us ‘til we, just… start getting along. Like he expects it to be fuckin’ magic. Like some day, this black and white bullshit we got between us is suddenly gonna become some shade of grey.”

All I can muster is a scoff at my own recollection.

“… least this way, things aren’t as bland between us. Even if I wish she’d ask me the fuck I’m doing every now and then, instead of standing there in silence whenever I’m the one behind the counter.”

I hear her take a deep breath, tutting as she sets the book down. Oh, god. The only time she does that is when she’s about to lecture me. Her position on the seat shifts, her back straightens up. She’s getting ready to write. A lot.

“If that’s the attitude you take towards the dilemma, things are never going to improve. You claim to want peace between the two of you, or at the very least tolerance, yet in the same breath you state how much you thrive on the conflict between you. You still thrive on instability, when we both know you’re years past being in a situation where that was your norm.” 

Even now, her words cut into me like a razor, and carve my mentality into neat, easily-definable segments. The time of my life where I whored myself out for a quick buck and a good high poisons me like a bullet stuck in my chest, her constant reminders of my own failures in coping making old wounds burn and fester. 

“If positivity is too far off for the moment, it would be a good first step to at least accept neutrality. In that way, I think Souji has a point. Bland as you may see it, Theo, making an effort to create that shade of grey he envisions is the best first step - as long as you both make an effort towards it. Tell me; can you recall any recent events involving Alex that weren’t negative?”

That’s why. Somehow, she must know I have an answer to this. Am I slipping too much? I must have hesitated - and now she demands to know why, for once, I am.

“... actually, yeah. It was my birthday last month, and, uh… she stopped me as I got out of work. And… you remember I tried to talk to her when she was in the café on her birthday? It turns out she thought about what I said. She got me some stuff, like… a dog toy, a shirt, some whiskey—” 

That bottle’s still sitting half-empty back home. There’ll be less when this is over.

“—but she told me that it didn’t change anything. Just that she was showing me common decency, or whatever. Which… I guess is a step in the right direction?”

Her eyebrows raise for a moment as the scribbling continues. That’s a rarer one - reserved for the times I say something, anything that’s at all indicative of progress. That fleeting high, the only one I bother to chase nowadays.

“That’s good, Theo.” And all of a sudden, the tension in my body dissipates. Every freckle of hers grins at me like a god who’s finally listened. “It does sound as though she still has her reservations; though, again, she has every right to. It’s a good sign that she’s making an effort to treat you with civility, and admitting to thinking about your efforts to get closer to her.” She pauses, leaning forward with a gaze I can only describe as expectant. “One that deserves to be reciprocated.”

“I know. And I would, but… I don’t know how. I’ve tried… but the truth is that I don’t have the first fuckin’ clue."

The admission pours from my lips with all the friction and pain of hot tar from the throat. My fingers dig into the forgiving plushness of a spare cushion on the seat, teeth clenching themselves so tightly they threaten to shatter to dust.

“The truth is… all this time, I haven’t even been making an effort. Even before today… I spent so much time making an enemy out of her that I didn’t bother to learn who she even was, or what even mattered to her. Everything she reached for back then, everything she had the strength to hold on to… sources of happiness for her, but… they were just fucking targets to me. I got my kick out of being better than her, by being above the things she liked. And now… she doesn’t even let those things show around me any more. She doesn’t put her trust in anyone.

It’s my fault she’s like that. One act of tolerance, one fuckin’ trophy gesture of bein’ the bigger person… it’s not gonna change the fact that, at the end of the day, we'll just go back to hating each other. That’s the way it’ll be for as long as we know each other, and refuse to acknowledge what’s wrong with us.”

It’s rare when she doesn’t have an immediate response to that - stuff that I’d be all too quick to boil down to self-pity. More scribbling fills the silence, dying down as the tension in my hand that balls itself into the cushion starts to ease itself away. The same expression of flawless neutrality remains on her face, her hand rising from the notepad to push her glasses up onto her face.

“You’ve done well,” she praises again - the words sinking into my heart in a way so distantly familiar, but so alien at the same time. “In that you’ve acknowledged your role as a bully has had a longer-lasting impact than you’ve anticipated. Although I would normally remind someone in your situation that someone like Alex has no right to forgive you, or give you a second chance in their life considering what you did… it appears that Alex is considerably more lenient, despite appearances.”

Again, I find myself questioning whether a novelty dog toy and a bottle of booze sure to be wasted on thoughts of her is truly considered kindness.

“However, I believe the time for ruminating on your situation is long past. You had the right idea in approaching her about the way you feel at first, and now you understand that she’s at least willing to extend an olive branch. The momentum you’ve built with her can only carry you forward, now - all you have to do is find an opportunity to talk t-”

Bzzzzzzt! Bzzzzzzt!

“Ah- one moment. Perhaps we’ve run over time.”

Her phone rattles against the wooden desk at the other end of the room, calling out among the bookshelves surrounding it. I use the opportunity as her stout form rises from the chic white stool to check my own phone…

“You’ve reached the office of Dr. Hannile Lehtosaari.”

Shit, we’re way past time. Who knew progress would chew up so much of my schedule?

“Ah, it’s good to hear from you. You’ve caught me just at the end of another session, I’m afraid, but if there’s something I can help you with-”

This is getting awkward fast. Slowly, I rise from my seat, but she catches me, holding out a finger from her palm, before it retracts to grab a pen.

“I see. It’s alright, I’m happy to reschedule you. Can you do, let’s see… the Friday, same time that week?”

She’s calm as ever, but I’m standing here like a kid who’s watching his friend get yelled at during a playdate. It’s not like I have anywhere to be, but I’ve never liked sitting in this office for longer than I have to.

“Alright, I’ll reschedule you for then. I’ll have another client in for straight after, but I trust you’ll be brief.”

… I have to start wondering what Friday that is. Not like confidentiality will let her tell me anything about who I’ll catch on the way out. Probably another former drug addict, runaway fuckup like me, but what do I care?

“Perfect. I hope you and your brother have a nice time together otherwise. I’ll see you then! Take care, bye, bye.”

… maybe not a fuckup, then. Not if they still have family.

It isn’t much longer before she hangs up the phone and turns to me again, that same professional sternness washing over her features again like she’s putting on a mask.

“Well, Theo, I believe I’ve given you plenty to think about. Before our next session next week, I’d like you to consider a few ways you can help to build on this rapport you’ve begun to form with Alex, perhaps make a list of ideas on how to approach her, and reciprocate what you’ve received from her.”

Easier said than done. Even now, I remember her saying that she only did what she did to afford me a decency she was wrong to withhold. But what else is ‘wrong’ in her eyes? Everything I did, everything she knows me for was wrong. The friends I made were wrong, and the way it all ended was wrong.

When will kindness be the right path to take with her?

How many times do I have to tread that impossible rocky road for it to finally be walkable? Is it even worth puncturing my feet on the rocks of the hostility that’s all but justified?

… maybe I answered wrong. Maybe I deserve this after all.

Whatever. Same time next week.

[word-count-bullet-count]

I've been seeing a lot of knight posts recently. pretty great

[bandzboy]

since spotify wrapped is coming today i just want to bring awareness to the fact that around 86% of the songs on spotify are currently demonetized since spotify decided that tracks with under 1,000 cannot be monetized. not only that the ceo of spotify cashed out $35.8 million dollars in spotify shares in the third quarter of the year and it has been reported that he earns more than the top artists on the platform.

for a platform that claims to support artists, this is outrageous and i hope people realize that an artist who is starting out, cannot make a living out of spotify streams simply because daniel ek and his friends made it worse for the artists trying to start a career. if you wanna support musicians and the possibility for them to get a living wage please follow United Musicians and Allied Workers (UMAW) which are trying to make The Living Wage for Musicians Act a reality so musicians can be paid fairly through streaming platforms and get the cut they deserve.

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

we need to step away from viewing marriage as inherently romantic, or the primary goal of romance. marriage is a legal contract we use to create important ties--financial, medical, next-of-kin, mediating shared property and parental rights. the details vary a lot based on where you are and what paperwork you sign. which is not very romantic! but it does have many real-world effects on our ability to share our lives with our partners.

first and foremost, marriage is a legal right we use to build and protect our families, whatever that family may look like

[sowlmates]

best friends to lovers is about DEVOTION it's about CODEPENDENCY it's about the intimacy of being known and being seen it's about holding someone so close to your heart you forget where you end and where they begin it's about knowing the worst parts about someone and loving them not only despite but FOR it

[k-0re]

the varric effect

[chloesimaginationthings]

I can’t wait to see mangle in the FNAF 2 movie,,

[infinitelystrangemachinex]

Imagining this Viktor sassing Mel. No screen on earth could have handled their power, I fear.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

We're going on an ass kicking adventure.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[teddybeartoji]

18: mdni; fem!reader

toji fucking you with his fat tip.... 

laid there under him, you can do nothing more than to just let him toy with you – one of his hands is resting on your hip, rubbing circles into your skin with his thumb while the other on his rock hard cock, pumping it at a leisurely pace. he spreads the precum that leaks from his tip and rubs it all over himself and the simple act has you squirming. his scarred lips are pulled into a smirk and his cheeks are adorned with a deep flush, his green eyes now darker than ever as he tries to burn the scene that’s unfolding in front of him into his memory. 

biting down onto your own finger, you try to be patient but it’s so, so hard when he’s looking at you like that. with that hungry look in his eyes. a bead of sweat trickles down the side of his head but he doesn’t bother to wipe it. there are teeth marks all over his neck, hickeys and lipstick stains all blending together into a beautiful masterpiece for him to admire tomorrow morning. 

“c’mon… ”

he meets your pleading gaze and the corners of his lips pull even further back. he tuts under his breath while sliding his cock between your folds, coating it in your slick and mixing it with his precum. “no manners whatsoever… ”

“please.” 

the speed of your answer makes his chest swell with pride. you wriggle your hips in hopes of convincing him to finally put it in, but all he does is give your thigh a squeeze. 

he doesn’t give you what you want, no matter how sweet you sound.

every little sound that tumbles from your wobbling lip goes straight to his cock and toji realizes that this just might be the hardest he’s ever been. his balls are so fucking full and he can’t wait to fill you up like you deserve, but the sight of you being all disheveled and flustered is way too good for him to just fuck you. he needs to push you a little, he needs to play with you a little. 

pressing your hip back into the mattress, toji leans over your body to place a haste kiss to the corner of your lips and chuckles when you chase after him. cute.

with his hand wrapped around his cock, he lines himself up with the entrance of your sopping cunt and takes a mental picture of your face the second he pushes in an inch. the way your back arches off the bed, the way you crane your head back to give him the perfect view of your neck. clutching onto the sheets below you with one hand, you try to even out your breathing. very fucking cute. 

but he presses in only enough to watch your tight little hole to swallow the tip of his cock. 

no more, no less. 

he groans at the way your cunt around him, all desperate and needy, begging for him to push in further. 

“pl– please… ” he feels your fingers wrapping around his wrist, your nails digging into his skin at the immense pleasure running through your body. “more, toji, more.” 

with a smile, he pulls out. 

your eyes shoot open and you raise your head from the pillow, confusion painted all over your pretty face. toji just laughs, his voice raspier than usual.

“you’re so impatient, hm?”

at his teasing tone, you throw your head back again and puff out your chest with a small pout on your lips. “and you’re so fucking mean.”

toji loves it when you bite back. 

so, he grants you another kiss – this time to the joint of your exposed neck, right to your pulse point. his dick ghosts over your clit when he lowers himself down onto you and you let out a hushed little gasp. you tug at the dark hairs at his nape and lean up into him the second you feel his lips against your skin. 

but continuing on with his ‘mean’ streak, he doesn’t stay there for as long as you’d hoped. whining when he pulls back away, you try to keep him there with you with your arms still hooked around his neck. but you’re too weak, already too fucked out from his mind games and it takes almost no effort for him to escape your grasp. the quiet laugh he lets out makes you want to sulk even more, it makes you want to hide under the covers – there’s a witty remark somewhere on your tongue, still finding its way when toji grabs onto your limp hand and brings it to his mouth, only to teasingly bite at your fingers. 

his hips jerk forward as if they have a mind of their own and his dick twitches almost painfully when he sees you jut out your lip; with your eyebrows scrunched and your eyes low, toji compares you to an angry little kitten. he has to fight the urge to bury you below him again, the desire to kiss you all over so strong that he almost forgets his aching cock and his full balls. 

almost. 

“aw… well, aren’t ya just adorable… ” 

his words come out like a coo and you try to yank your hand out of his grasp but to no avail – he keeps you there, big fingers wrapped tightly around your wrist as he stares at you. it’s hard not to feel shy under his gaze, despite all of the years you’ve spent together, and now he’s not letting you hide away either – completely bare and awaiting, toji can’t help but admire all of you. from your eyes to your neck, from your tits to your now precum coated tummy, he loves everything he’s seeing. he can’t get enough of you— 

of his darling, of his best girl. 

with just one move, toji pushes past your folds again and sinks his leaking tip into the warmth of your cunt once more. you moan in harmony, your voices mingling together as you melt into each other. toji lets your wrist slip from his grasp but he doesn’t let you go entirely – he intertwines your fingers and then rests your linked hands against your middle, smoothly giving himself a bit more leverage to play with you as he wishes while still holding onto you, while still being sweet to you. 

he sucks in a sharp breath when he pulls out and sees your hole clenching around nothing – she weeps for him, she cries for him, pleading for more and more and more. and toji can’t refuse her, he can’t refuse you, so just as before, he pushes in his fat tip and nothing more. 

it’s not enough, but the sensation is something akin to tickling and you can’t ignore the way it’s making you feel. your back arches off the bed again, only for toji to push you back down onto the mattress and there’s this weird pressure growing in your lower tummy even though he’s not even fully in. it feels good and you hate to admit it. you do want more – you want nothing more than for him to just fill you up, to feel his heavy balls against your ass but your thoughts and wishes get all tangled up in your head as he keeps doing it over and over again.

in and out, in and out – toji’s addicted to the way you feel around him. his tip is so fucking sensitive and your tight and warm walls are far from helping him keep his sanity. he listens to you mewl and cry out his name, but he has no intention of stopping this. 

“fuck– ” 

every time he moves, the slick sound coming from where you’re connected reaches your ears and you feel your body burn. it’s filthy, it’s fucking obscene – it’s ridiculous how wet you are from this. you dig your nails into toji’s hand and he raises his gaze from your pussy to look at your face instead. a layer of sheen coats your skin and toji’s tongue darts out to lick over his lips on instinct; 

“does it feel good, baby, hm?” he looks like an animal, feral and hungry, with the way he’s staring at you. grinning widely when you give him a faint nod, he spits down onto your cunt and starts rubbing circles on your clit with his thumb. your eyes roll back into your head and your lips part in a silent moan as the sudden wave of pleasure rips through you. 

it hits you embarrassingly fast and incredibly strong, and toji has to use both of his hands to hold you steady as you squirm under him. his eyes grow wide at the sight of you writhing, amazed that he managed to pull such a reaction with so ‘little’ effort but it’s not like he’s doing any better – as your orgasm takes over your body, you clench around him so hard that toji can’t help but push in another inch. his hips stutter and his teeth sink down into his lips almost hard enough to draw blood. but he doesn’t stop. 

he can’t stop.

so, with the added inch, he fucks you through your high. his thrusts get more desperate, his breathing grows even quicker and he’s left panting like a dog above you. never having let go of your hand, he now presses it into the mattress right next to your head while the other grabs onto your waist – his hold on you is bruising and it feels way too fucking good. 

“wait, toji– i, can’t… ”

suddenly, you feel overwhelmed; with tears brimming at your lash line, you feel the weird band in your stomach tighten and tighten. your words get stuck in your throat as toji sinks further into you, his fat cock bullying its way into your sensitive cunt like it’s made for it. “no– it’s too much!”

toji lets out a breathy chuckle. 

“‘too much’?” he teases while pushing in even deeper. “thought ya wanted more, doll?”

the slick sounds coming from in between you are something out of a porno, filthy and messy, and toji’s obsessed. his own hands shake as he holds himself above you and when he finally feels his thighs ghosting against yours, his lips pull into a wicked grin. 

with one last thrust, toji bottoms out fully and his balls press against your ass just as you dreamed before. you’re sure you can feel him in your fucking lungs and it’s so fucking much. tojo gives your hand a squeeze and rolls his hips into yours before pulling back out and slamming them back down. 

the whole bed shakes under you; the headboard smashes against the wall in the same rhythm as toji pounds into you but you’re already too blissed out to be worrying about the complaints you’ll surely receive in the morning. and it’s not even that he’s fucking you fast – he’s fucking you hard. there’s so much want behind his every move that you’re unable to think about anything else other than him. 

him, him, him—

“look at me.”

your teary eyes meet his dark green ones and your second orgasm comes crashing down on you harder than the last. just like before, it hits you so suddenly that you don’t even have the time to warn him. but toji knew – he knows your body better than you do and he knows exactly what buttons to push and what words to use to have you unraveling under him.

feeling you gush around him a second time is more than enough for toji to finally let himself follow you into that state of pure ecstasy; he drops closer to you and buries his face into the crook of your neck with a loud groan as he paints your insides white.

pumping you full, just like you deserve, his fat balls twitch as toji gives you his all. the remaining energy drains from his tired body as the seconds pass and he doesn’t even try to keep himself up any longer; slumping against you, toji rests almost all of his weight on top of you with a lazy grin on his face. your sweaty bodies stick together, chests rubbing together as you both try to catch your breaths.

craning your neck a little, you press a kiss to toji’s head and mirror his lazy smile when you feel him snaking his arms around your middle. you don't even try to move, knowing that you'll be stuck there under him for a while. not that you'd even want to leave...

why would you when you can listen to your beloved snore right there on top of you like a big bear after fucking your brains out? with your hand in his damp hair, it's easy for him to let his eyes fall shut, his heartbeat calming down as he melts into you.

cute.

[weedle-testaburger]

i just remembered how funny and underrated this stevonnie moment is

they don't even say a word but their expression really nails what it's like when you openly enjoy your queerness so hard you accidentally out yourself

[lambilegs]

. ݁₊ 🦢 . ݁˖ sevika being a grouchy husbutch who, even when she's pissed because of conflict you guys are having, will still begrudgingly drive you everywhere and do everything she always does for you.

she'll huff about it, sure, but she'll still clasp on any jewelry you need to put on before work. she'll sigh extra hard when you call her for a ride home, but avoid mentioning that she was already on her way since minutes ago. she'll still fold your laundry with hers, and pick up the food you like when she hears a catch in your voice. when she's done her half of a crossword puzzle after dinner, she'll slide it over to you without a word.

and when you come to the bed that night with a frown, clearly aching for her, she'll sigh and extend her arm out. when you bury your face in her neck, apologizing or saying you want to fix things, she'll hold onto you tighter, kissing your head and telling you firmly that you guys will be fine.

because, despite any hiccups you two have, she's not one to resort to petty actions to prove her point. she'll make it clear she's annoyed by a situation through telling you as much, but she's not gonna let that give her a free pass to no longer treat you like a partner. to her, the stuff she does for you isn't a privilege, but something that's innate in a relationship. so, even if you piss her off, even if you guys are bickering, she'll still engage in every ritual, every little habit that's built the safety and comfort that that wraps around the two of you when together.

she'll still be unwavering in her efforts to show that no matter what you guys go through, no matter what conflict you need to resolve, you're hers and she's not about to drop that fact just because of a mood.

[ditzybat]

tim: nah man, i stay away from drugs, last time i touched that stuff i killed someone

jason: you… killed someone?

tim: i mean, she was resuscitated after and definitely set it up so i would kill her (i think), but you know it’s the principle of the matter right?

jason: that’s an original experience i fear

[snail-day]

Geto is secretly a clingy man, especially after becoming a ruthless, merciless cult leader. In the mornings, you’re practically his personal stress relief, nestled in his arms while he keeps you close. If you’re spooning, his hand always finds its place, either resting between your breasts, cupping their softness, or splayed across your tummy, fingers absentmindedly kneading the plushness of your skin. If you’re sprawled over his chest, his hand settles on the leg you’ve draped over his waist, rubbing slow, soothing circles into your thigh or idly tracing the curve of your rear. Other mornings, his fingers tangle in your hair, twirling the ends as he silently maps out his day, but never once pulling away. He needs the contact - needs you.

When the burden of his new world weighs too heavily, he buries his face in the crook of your neck, inhaling deeply, letting your scent ground him. A deep sigh escapes him, tension melting away, if only for a moment. After all, he’s just a boy who took over a cult - clinging to the one thing that still makes him feel human.

[kokoasci]

every few months i remember how cool his design is