#Y’ALL THIS IS A JOKE

[badolmen]

They don’t even attempt to assassinate US politicians anymore. You notice that? Not since the anthrax scare back for… who was it, Barack? And even that… pathetic. This new generation has no respect for an honest hitman. I’m not sure this new generation has any honest hitman - you see that shit with Boeing? Sloppy, fucking disgraceful - you kill the whistleblowers before they get halfway to a lawsuit. What kind of fucking amateur is doing faked suicides the night before testimony? Goddamn greenhorns. Back in my day someone tried to shoot Ronald Reagan in broad daylight. There used to be bomb threats to Congress. I took out a few union leaders in the utilities sector myself. Today’s generation? Won’t even threaten to throw a punch - not even over on that - what’s it now, ‘X’? They got no guts. None! And they don’t even have poor impulse control to boot! Too much of that - that panopticon anxiety bullshit. “Oh what if I get a called out post???” People used to send the president letters full of bioweapons. In the mail! Today’s generation? Not a chance. All because of woke.

[delusionsofgrandeur13]

you’re borrowing your boyfriend!jason todd’s…

hoodie

it’s big, it’s warm, and it smells like your big warm boyfriend. of course you stole it. luckily jason runs hot..or that’s what he tells you at least. the man gets cold too, but he’d never tell you that. not when you look so cozy in his sweatshirt.

sweats

your favorite thing of his to match with his hoodie. his sweatpants are super warm, super soft, and super baggy. meant for ultimate comfort. jason loves it when you go full out sweatsuit in his clothes. like, loves it. you’re like his own personal teddy bear to hold on to while he falls asleep. who needs sweats when he has you to keep him warm..in his.

t shirt

sometimes, when the weather’s warmer, you’ll steal one of jason’s shirts to thrown on over a pair of panties. you’re oblivious to the fact that this combination makes jason go absolutely buck wild. somehow you’ve never made the connection. but more than once he’s found you sprawled across the couch, watching tv, and ended up going down on you. his head nestled between your thighs as you grip his raven locks. his hands are fisted into the loose fabric of his shirt that you’re wearing. he’s not satisfied until your legs are shaking, your moans intermingling with the wet, borderline pornographic, sounds that he’s creating with his mouth on your clit. he never lets you get him back either, even though you know he was grinding his crotch against the couch, chasing that sweet friction and release along with you. but he always just sits you atop his lap after, kissing your cheek as he brushes your hair out of your face. grips your thigh as he makes a comment about the show playing, your panties long forgotten on the floor.

underwear

you never get very far wearing a pair of your boyfriend’s boxers. for one, they’re pretty loose on you, so you have to roll the waistband a couple times, which just gives jason a prime view of your ass. they also just make it so easy for him to get his hand down the front, his strong fingers expertly finding your clit like he’s memorized a map of your body. which, in some ways, he has. it’s not long before you’ve come, once, twice, almost a third time, and he’s pulling his own boxers off to free his stiff cock. it points out, the tip leaking, and you’re opening your legs wider without even realizing it. he grabs your waist, sliding you closer to the edge of the bed, making sure you’re ready before he slides in, burying himself in you. he bottoms out, and you’re throwing your head back, a third orgasm threatening to crest as he starts up a rhythm. the muscles of his stomach ripple as he thrusts in and out. one of his hands is on your waist, the other slowly snaking its way back down to your clit. your toes curl at the feel of his calloused thumb rubbing circles on that sensitive bundle of nerves. he’s groaning, low in his throat, at the way you look on his cock. it never gets old for him, ever. the way your cheeks flush, how adorable your blown out pupils are when you look up at him. your wet lashes, your messy hair. your entrance clenches around his cock as you come a third time, your hands gripping the bed sheets. jason comes along with you, groaning loudly as he paints your insides with white ropes of cum. he pulls out, wetting a washcloth in the bathroom. the wet, warm fabric feels like heaven against your sensitive folds, your boyfriend wiping away the mixture of fluids between your legs. you feel pleasantly boneless, sinking into the pillows at the head of the bed. your boyfriend cleans himself up after, settling into bed next to you. jason wraps his strong arms around you, and it’s better than any clothes you might steal. but what you don’t know, is that he’d let you steal his clothes anytime.

[aesthetic-uni]

Misha Collins is the funniest straight man ever. He’s the only person to arguably queerbait in real life. He had to come out as a straight. He was told by WB to just stay bisexual. He’s living every homophobe’s nightmare scenario but the only difference is that everyone actually loves it for him

[sanyu-thewitch05]

Called it back on January 14th!

And to the 100 people on the poll, from the way things are going, it looks like you might’ve chosen correctly.

Link to the poll even though you can’t vote. But just as proof.

[livingdeadhorse]

chapter 3 was just Kodaka clearing out the losers’ club in one go

[noneofusareverno]

ATTENTION WRITERS!!!

[proxolagist]

something shitty for fun

[ao3-shenanigans]

Shout out to all the beginning authors, don’t be afraid to write badly and to write for yourself

we will love you regardless

[vampyr-tea]

YO ITS JAX WTF

[bowlifecomics]

There was no chance I was just going to ignore this tag

[sapphic-sprite]

fat lesbians are so perfect please screw off if you think otherwise

[clearancecreedwatersurvival]

Guys :((( we have to cancel all shipping in dungeon meshi :(((((( yeah turns out all the ships are problematic :(((((((((((((

Falin/Marcille is problematic because marcille is only 60 years old which by elf aging standards means she’s a minor :((( yeah I know that she’s actually a half elf whose rate of development is extremely different from full blooded elves, but we can’t be acknowledging any sort of nuance in these things. Plus it’s bad and wrong to eroticize their relationship at all cause then you’re a sapphic fetishizing yuri-enjoyer and you’re disrespecting Kui-sensei. ☹️

Laios/Kabru is problematic because people headcanon kabru as trans which is Obviously fetishizing trans people :(((( plus the inherent power dynamic with a king fucking his advisor? Not okay. 🙅

Kabru/Mithrun is problematic because ewwwwww huge age gap 🤮

Chilchuck/Marcille is problematic because yuck she’s basically his daughter gross

Chilchuck/Senshi is also problematic though because chilchuck is minor coded. Yes I know he’s a grown ass man with an estranged wife and adult children but he Looks vaguely childlike and if you draw fanart of them it would look Super Bad! Children who don’t know who the characters are could see that and get groomed!!!! Think Of The Children!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyway in light of all of this it’s clear that the only non-problematic ship is obviously shipping the Touden siblings together.

Stay safe and Always moralize shipping!!! Because dangerous evil people are out there right now waiting to force children to read their inappropriate smutty fanfiction, and We Must Think Of The Children. Yes even when it is clearly marked as explicit content for adults, we simply can’t allow anyone to have freedom of expression in fandom.

I am very smart and morally righteous. 😇

[some-assholes-familiar]

Imma be honest as much as I enjoy the whole “nonbinary aro ace ppl have made exactly one decision in their life and it was ‘No’” jokes, I kinda feel a bit iffy around them on some level, kinda always have.

Bc it’s meant as an incredibly empowering statement right? (and I get it, I’ve fantasised about having that much confidence when confronted with sex or gender or romance, like a good chunk of aspec or trans ppl I’ve met)

But honestly it can kind of just feel insanely invalidating sometimes, of just how much choice we didn’t have, and how much people can punish us for it.

Just like the gays have always said, none of us chose to have the gender and sexualities that we do. We just are.

The choice was never just ‘yes or no’. just like everyone else it was between slowly killing ourselves trying to uphold the idea of what is normal for everyone else, or fighting on the front lines for the chance to just exist as we are.

Anyway, would love to hear of this is just a me thing or if any other aroace enby’s feel this.

[crushedsweets]

Toby specifically stalks this elderly lesbian couple because one of them started spouting off nonsense about demons and slendy wants them to stop poking their noses in the paranormal.

Toby decides to purposefully make it obvious they’re being stalked by a real person instead of haunted, but he just further convinces both of them that they have a demon in their home. Nothing he does works and he doesn’t really wanna kill them. Starts sending them emails saying giving the demons attention gives them more power.

The ladies give ignoring the “demon” a shot, so he stops purposefully breaking into their house and moving stuff around and scaring them. Now they truly believing ignoring a demon is how to stop a haunting. They no longer stick their nose in the paranormal. This is a successful Toby mission. And he stole a lot of money and jewelry in the process. Extra Toby points

[sanyu-thewitch05]

Leona as soon as he wakes up from Malleus’s spell:

[abigail]

girl moment or whatever