#Y'all I'm fuckin gay

[mistresskabooms]

So Deltarune is really fucking good. It's really funny, the gays are getting everything they ever wanted, and it expands on the Mechanics of Undertale in a really natural and fun way. The artstyle slaps hard and the music is amazing. It is a huge step forward from Undertale in every conceivable way ((which, if I may add, I adore with all my heart.))

But the game wouldn't let me side with Queen when she offered. 0/10

[anotherpapercut]

CORRECT THANK YOU FOR SHARING

[willowillowillowillow]

god when they when when they they when i when when they when--

[trans-leek-cookie]

as a certified Aromantic Asexual (I should make myself a certificate) I genuinely don't Believe there is systemic oppression that specifically targets Aromantic or Asexual people.

I do however believe that people Cannot be normal about ppl who don't have sex or romantic relationships, and that can Really Impact Aromantic And Asexual People.

Also like. Aros n aces are still. Experiences Other forms of oppression that can interact with the aro and/or ace-ness

[starberry-fag]

just finished 17776. feeling: normal

[k3n-dyll]

||Men, minors and ageless DNI

CW: 18+, wlw, scissoring, domtop!Sevika, Sevika w/ a clit piercing

Word Count: 409 Masterlist Divider Creds Free Palestine

Thinking of Sevika with a clit piercing, desperate and needy after waiting for over a month for it to heal. She's making her reward for being patient worth it for both of you, holding one of your legs over her shoulder, kissing and nipping at your calf as she glides her cunt steadily against your own. The little silver balls decorating her now hypersensitive clit provide an added layer of pleasure to each sloppy roll of her hips, her moans and praises for you coming much louder and more frequently than they would have prior to the new piercing.

She keeps her body pressed close to your own, full breasts squishing up against your own, stiffened nipples gently passing over yours with each movement while she whispers in your ear

"Missed this so f-fuckin' much" "Forgot how pretty you look takin' it for me - fuck"

Sevika most definitely hadn't forgotten though.

After a full 4 weeks of no touch it was all she thought about, dreamt about, even. Having cum from just the thought of putting you on your back like this again more times than she'd admit aloud.

Her honey smooth voice and the wet, sticky sounds coming from your connected bodies are only contested by the uncontrollable, desperate whines pulling from your own throat. You needed this just as badly as she had. There's no denying, of course that your girlfriend was skilled with her hands and mouth, but it had never crossed your mind just how much better it feels to have her toned body tangled with your own until you weren't able to for what felt like ages.

The resulting orgasm is like a shock to both your systems, Sevika's fucked out brain only able to form the word "fuck" alongside the low grunts that punctuate each of the last few thrusts against your cunt. Her head drops to the crook of your neck when she begins to come down, her brown skin glistening with sweat in the dimly lit bedroom as she presses soft, wet kisses to your shoulder.

Before you can manage to calm down from your own high, her hips begin to roll once more, though shes barely finished catching her breath. You can't help but chuckle a little at how quickly she's ready to fuck you again.

"Already?" you ask her, doing your best to tease her through already escelating moans and ragged breathing.

"I'm not even close to done yet"

AN: More Sevika!!! Also, sorry y'all I haven't been on it with new content, work has been kicking my ass

Reblogs are appreciated <3 || Taglist: @delinthecut, @sevsbaby @half-of-a-gay, @porcelainmystery @archangeldyke-all

[petew21-blog]

Workout routine

My best friend from school, Emily, married last summer while still being at university with me. She is still young, but claimed that her boyfriend truly loves her. Bullshit if you ask me, he never respected here and treated here like a trophy wife since the beginning. Yeah I hated him. He was a homophobic asshole and acting like some fuckin' alpha male. Why Emily dated him I never understood

One day we were on their garden studying for an upcoming exam. I was nervous most of the time cause James was working outside fixing stuff and eyed me like a prey. Emily went to get us some snacks and drinks.

He came up to me and started some homophobic talk how I could choose this path of sin and so on. I couldn't look up at him. Cause he was very close to me, very shritless and VERY sexy. Way too much. If I looked up even for a second, I would immediately get hard.

"You gays are the worst thing about this generation. You can't even work, y'all do your artsy useless shit and nothing usefull"

"Can you just let me live and go on about your life? I don't want to listen to this."

"Well you're on my property so you'll listen to whatever I have to tell you"

A call from inside the house. Emilly called him

"You're lucky. If it weren't for her you'd be already on the ground biting dust"

What an idiot. I was raging. I think I'll just leave and go home. I can't calm myself down and I don't want to cause any drama with Emily. Even if I think her husband is horrible, I don't want ot loose her a s a friend"

Emily came out of the house, smiling. She brought the snacks and water. She looked at me "Sorry for... taking so long. I had to sort something that couldn't wait. Now drink up, you haven't drank for hours. I should have brought drinks sooner."

I took the glass and took a sip. But then I felt really nauseaous. My vision was blurry now and I felt like vomiting. All I could make out of Emily's face was that she was smiling.

Then my vision started getting clearer again. But it was strange, I wasn't outside anymore. I was in their kitchen, holding a glass. "How did I get here?" went through in my head. As I looked for the nearest surface to put down the glass I noticed that I was shirtless.

Wait, what?!? This isn't my body!!!

I let go off the glass destroying it. But nothing could have prepared me for being this ripped in the matter of seconds. This is something I always wished for, but never thought I would get. I was always the skinny twink trying to build more muscles, but couldn't. And now, I have massive muscles.

I found a mirror in the hall. No, this can't be happening. I am James. I can't be him. He is an asshole. A homophobic asshole.

But his body thought otherwise. His dick got hard. And it isn't small. Which might be cool to play with, but now I was still angry everytime I looked at the mirror.

"Enjoying yourself?" Emily asked as she entered the house

"What have you done, Ems?"

"I gave you a new body. The one you have been lusting for. And as a side effect I got myself an improvement for a boyfriend. I loved him before, but I was blind and deaf to all the things he said on your account and to all the things he commented about me. Never appreciated me. But you are the best man I ever knew. And I wanted to be with you even if I wasn't your type. But now, I think I might be" she said as she placed her hand on my new crotch.

I thought I wouldn't like this, cause I was gay for my entire life, but James's body is still straight. But in my mind I could even picture myself with a dude and not be disgusted

"Ems, I think you didn't turn me straight as you wished for. I think I'm bi, actually"

"Whatever is best for both of us. I got a cute gay friend who you might like and who would love to explore your body, with me. But I think there might be some emotions involved, you know. Cause of the previous ownership and so on." she said and laughed out loud.

I took her up and put her on the kitchen table. Embracing her and going for a kiss.

"Ems, you are the best friend I could have ever wanted. I love you and I will love you now as your husband"

We could hear a scream outside coming from the garden. We could only smile at each other as we knew what was coming

Two months later:

"Hey, my name is James and this is my colleague Robert. Robert is a small gay dude friend from my wife. We are going on a road trip to get to know each other better with the permission from my wife. So we would like a room"

"Oh, there's only double bed? That's absolutely fine with us, right Robert? Bro's will be bro's and NO HOMO. Hahaha"

A story request from Inbox: Could you do a swap with a Twink and his best friend’s bodybuilder husband?

[convolutedblasphemy]

I wasn't shitting you guys btw I actually made the one-sided radiostatic playlists

here is my lyrical masterpiece. both the vox version and the alastor one. done my best to make it as lyrically accurate as possible. @styrofauxm @onesidedradiostatic i hope you enjoy this (go check out the full lyrics for the songs on google if you can't listen to it but i recommend it because all of these are bangers) feat. my stupid commentary and vox's pathetic wet cat energy

Click to listen to the Vox one on YouTube

1. the hearse — matt maeson

thought this one fit so well lyrically. the "what was it like to feel in love" part i interpreted as vox asking himself that rather than alastor

❞ i am the man we both couldn't stand, i can't wash off the dirt from my hands, what was it like to feel in love? [...] i will never go backwards, i will never be free, i will never run faster; will you sink down to me? ❝

2. i'm just ken — ryan gosling

i'm not even adding lyrics to this one, everyone should have seen the barbie movie and this song at this point. this just HAD to be in there. can you feel the kenergy?

3. too many friends — placebo

less about alastor, more about vox's existential crisis

❞ my computer thinks I'm gay, i threw that piece of junk away on the champs-elysées as I was walking home. this is my last communique, down the superhighway. all that I have left to say in a single tome... ❝

4. creep — radiohead

i mean isn't this literally his theme song?

❞ when you were here before... couldn't look you in the eye. you're just like an angel. your skin makes me cry. you float like a feather in a beautiful world. i wish I was special. you're so fuckin' special. but I'm a creep, i'm a weirdo, what the hell am I doin' here? ❝

5. where evil grows — the poppy family

y'all seen the sonic movie? we need to see vox do that dance.

❞ i like the way you smile at me, i felt the heat that enveloped me and what i saw i liked to see. i never knew where evil grew. i should have steered away from you, my friend told me to keep clear of you but something drew me near to you ❝

6. one of us — ava max

i had to edit this one a bit in the video and cut out the part about the kissing because that for sure didn't happen

❞ one of us would die for love; one of us would give it up. one of us would risk it all; one of us won't even call. one of us could say goodbye, never even bat an eye... ❝

7. colorblind — amber riley

more pathetic wet cat energy brought to you by yours truly

❞ i don't think that i'll ever find that silver lining or reason to smile. you know i used to paint such vibrant dreams, now I'm colorblind, colorblind. when did my heart get so full of never mind, never mind? did you know that you stole the only thing I needed? ❝

8. arcade — duncan lawrence

more pathetic wet cat energy brought to you by yours truly

❞ a broken heart is all that's left. i'm still fixing all the cracks. lost a couple of pieces when i carried it, carried it, carried it home. i've spent all of the love I saved. we were always a losing game; small town boy in a big arcade, i got addicted to a losing game... all i know, all i know: loving you is a losing game. ❝

9. if i can't have you — skylar astin

i picked the version from zoey's extraordinary playlist on purpose because the context of this scene is that the dude who sings it hires a bunch of singers and dancers to confess in a public space as you, the viewer, sit there and cringe at him as he gets rejected. if that doesn't have vox energy, i don't know what does.

❞ i'm good at keepin' my distance (lie), i know that you're the feelin' I'm missing. you know that I hate to admit it but everything means nothin' if I can't have you. i can't write one song that's not about you, can't drink without thinkin' about you. is it too late to tell you that everything means nothing if I can't have you? ❝

10. do you want me (dead)? — all time low

when vox asks himself whether alastor wants him or wants him dead it's definitely the second option.

❞ i let it ride on a bet, i doubled down on a sinking ship; need a second to catch my breath: do you want me? or do you want me dead? oh, give it up for at least a second; i'm getting sick of your bullshit attitude and how you walk around like you shine brighter, it's killing me, so what do you say? do you want me? or do you want me dead? ❝

11. push — ryan gosling

i can't just put one musical number from the barbie movie in and not include the other one that fits equally as well.

❞ said, i don't know if I've ever been good enough. i'm a little bit rusty and I think my head is cavin' in. and I don't know if I've ever been really loved by a hand that's touched me, and I feel like something's got to give and I'm a little bit angry, well, this ain't over, no, not here, no; not while I still need you around. ❝

Ice-cold rejection & vicious mockery: Alastor's version

the contrast of this is the best part.

Click here to listen to the Alastor one on YouTube

1. little big boy — madds buckley

he doesn't go easy on him. this is 0 compassion and 100% roast.

❞ brimstone fire and eyes aglow, little big boy's making the whole world know his name. raised on pillars and shining lights, breathing smoke for the right to keep his place. never satisfied 'till they all see how big this little boy can be. well the water's rising; tide's comin' in. does little big boy know how to swim in a pond filled with fish bigger than him? ❝

2. i help you hate me — sunrise avenue

he's so helpful fr but it's not working unfortunately

❞ i broke many hearts throughout my days. yours was the hardest one to face. though, I've never been a saint, i still love you every day, just not the lover kind of way. i know you wanna see me falling out, falling out the window. i know you wanna see me crashing down, crashing with my plane. baby, i'm way too young to die but I'll help you get over me. ❝

3. no surprise — daughtry

this is one of my favorite bands, i'm glad i got to include this.

❞ it came out like a river once i let it out when i thought that i wouldn't know how. held onto it forever just pushing it down, felt so good to let go of it now. not wrapping this in ribbons, shouldn't have to give a reason why: it's no surprise i won't be here tomorrow, i can't believe that I stayed 'til today. there's nothing here in this heart left to borrow. there's nothing here in this soul left to save. don't be surprised when we hate us tomorrow. ❝

4. go screw yourself — avery

i can picture him 1:1 delivering a swing version of this when vox confesses to him

❞ i know i've been holding it in, the way i feel about you. something i've been dying to say but I don't know how you'll take it; oh please don't go; you should know these three words i've been holding back; trying to fight, i'mma let 'em out... these three words, gotta let you know, here I go: go screw yourself. i've had enough, yeah, now we're done. ❝

5. the audacity — emelyn

this one's such a bop honestly. had to cut it in the video because i can't picture alastor realistically crying over anything vox-related.

❞ think your opinions should be broadcast... even though no one's subscribing, listening or liking but by all means, keep whining. must be tough if life's so rough. you should buy a mic, start a podcast, even though, wait, nobody asked. [...] where do all these men find the audacity? no actually, i'm stunned by your stupidity. ❝

6. friends — halocene

this one had to be on here.

❞ have you got no shame? you're looking insane turning up at my door. it's two in the morning, the rain is pouring, haven't we been here before? [...] so don't go look at me with that look in your eye, you really ain't going away without a fight. you can't be reasoned with, i'm done being polite. i've told you one, two, three, four, five, six thousand times. haven't I made it obvious? haven't I made it clear? want me to spell it out for you? f-r-i-e-n-d-s ❝

7. can't catch me now — olivia rodrigo

he likes the attention def especially after his return

❞ bet you thought i'd never do it, thought it'd go over my head. i bet you figured i'd pass with the winter, be somethin' easy to forget. oh, you think i'm gone 'cause i left but i'm in the trees, i'm in the breeze, my footsteps on the ground. you'll see my face in every place but you can't catch me now. through wading grass, the months will pass, you'll feel it all around. i'm here, i'm there, i'm everywhere but you can't catch me now ❝

8. take a hint — victoria justice & elizabeth gillies

this is on every rejection playlist and it's gonna be on mine too. a bop even after all these years.

❞ ask me for my number, yeah, you put me on the spot. you think that we should hook up, but I think that we should not. you had me at "hello", then you opened up your mouth and that is when it started going south. [...] what about "no" don't you get? so go and tell your friends i'm not really interested. it's about time that you're leavin', i'm gonna count to three and open my eyes and you'll be gone ❝

9. no — madilyn bailey & megan nicole

more rejection for y'all. the world needs more mean aroaces and this playlist is my contribution.

❞ first you gonna say you ain't runnin' game, thinking i'm believing every word; call me beautiful, so original, telling me I'm not like other girls, i was in my zone before you came along, now i'm thinking maybe you should go ❝

10. oh no — marina and the diamonds

a classic.

❞ don′t do love, don't do friends; i′m only after success. don't need a relationship, i'll never soften my grip [...] i know exactly what i want and who i want to be. i know exactly why i walk and talk like a machine. i'm now becoming my own self-fulfilled prophecy. ❝

Reblogs are appreciated!

[yeetus-feetus]

Batfam incorrect quotes (vines)

Dick: everyone's been asking about you Damian

Damian: then keep asking! That whole family cast me out Dick!

Dick: only because you think you're straight

Damian: I am straight!

Dick: well you can tell that to mom, and mom, and your sperm doner dad, and dad's boyfriends, and-

•

Tim: so I'm sitting there, barbecue sauce on my titties-

Steph: *falls to the ground and dies in a fit of laughter*

•

Kon: Don't tell your father

Tim: kiss one another

Kon: die for each other

Tim:❗❗❗

•

Dick: *throws Jason's gun away*

Jason: what the fUck RicHaRd

•

Jason: hello Tim.

Tim: hi, Jason.

Jason: That outfit looks familiar...

•

Duke: toss me my keys

Duke: ... I said my keys!

Steph: I thought you said printer

Duke: now why the fuck would I say-

•

Cass: what did you get for question 12?

Barbara: I got 18

Steph: I got 9.5 ???

Dick: I got Abraham Lincoln ... for some reason. I don't-

•

Damian: Don't fuck with me! I have the power of God and anime my side! HYAAAAA!!

•

Jason: iis there anything better than pussy?

Jason: yes! A really good book!

•

Reporter: where do you keep all your gadgets while fighting? It's incredible!

Cass: Belt.

•

Damian with his new hairstyle: stop saying I look like Tim! He's dumb and he's a coward!

Damian: AND I'M NOT A COWARD!

•

Kori: hey babe, happy one year! <3

Dick: ??? I'm 27

(they're idiots your honour)

•

Jason, about Bruce: his hair, wack. His gear, wack. His car, wack. His footsteps, wack. The way that he talks, wack. The way that he doesn't even like to smile, wack.

Jason: me? I'm tight as fuck!

•

Duke: WAKE UP SLEEPYHEAD!!

Tim: what? What's going on!?

Bernard: what the fuck man?

Duke: 😱🤭!!

•

Jason: hey everybody, today Tim replaced me so I'm starting a Kickstarter to put him down. The benefits of killing him would be-

•

Duke: hey how y'all-

Titus: *growling and snarling*

Duke: AH! get your fuckin dog bitch!

Damian: it don't bite

Duke: YES IT DO!

•

Barbara, watching Dick and Wally through the cameras: two bros chillin in a hottub 5 feet apart coz they're not gay

•

Jason: in the League of Assassins, we got-

Damian: 👶

Jason: whose baby is you??

•

Dick: this chicken is almost as juicy as my ass

Cass: 🤨?

Bruce: 🤦

Alfred: 😐

Everyone else: 🙄

•

Tim: you wouldn't like me before my coffee

Damian: that's so weird because I fucking hate you all- Everytime.

•

Jason: HOW DO YOU KNOW WHAT'S GOOD FOR ME!!

Bruce: THAT'S MY OPINION!!

Dick: 👁️👄👁️

[callmegaith]

The only thing ineffable bureaucracy showed me is how hyper focused this fanbase is at seeing one thing and one thing only and everything else is a result of that one thing

1) no, Beelzebub and Gabriel are not a straight couple. Nor is Crowley and Aziraphale a gay couple. Stop the non-binary erasure or go outside and talk to an actual non-binary person cuz clearly you have no clue what non-binary is "they're straight presenting" wtf? If you think that please give me your name so I can block you. Cis people, I fucking swear.

Reminder that Beelz used they/them pronouns btw. Sorry that Beelzebub doesn't "pass" for you, it doesn't make them any less non-binary. Not to mention it was stated and already IS CANON that none of them have genders. They're god damn demons and angels, bruh.

2) "it's Gabriel's and Beelz's fault that ineffable husbands didn't get their happy ending": no. It's their own damn fault for not communicating and Aziraphale's inability to accept Crowley as he is. Gabriel and Beelzebub put each other first. Y'all sound salty as hell cuz two people managed to work their relationship out and yours didn't work out. "But if they didn't get together---" y'all really saying shit like this??? Do you hear yourself? That's so sad. Wishing for the doom of one LGBTQ+ ship cuz the other fucked themselves over. THEY CAN BOTH CO-EXIST. And you know what? They will. Cuz Ineffable husbands is clearly canon, the story just wants time with them cuz they're the main characters, not like Beelz and Gabriel who were side characters so had their story summarized.

3) "that should have been ineffable husbands" no, cuz Crowley and Aziraphale aren't Gabriel and Beelzebub. They're different characters with different backgrounds, personalities, relationship structure, and different relationship dynamic in general. They'll get together in a way that fits THEM. And that way requires ups and downs that makes them finally understand that they're perfect for each other without the need for either of them to change.

4) Gabriel was such an asshole wish Crowley got his revenge and--- bla bla BLA : Crowley was happy for them. You hold a grudge over Gabriel that Crowley himself doesn't. Y'all worse than a literal demon. Smh.

Be happy for what we got and look forward to the future where ineffable husbands will certainly become canon and it'll be worth the wait. Don't tear down the LGBTQ+ presentation we got just cuz the main ship didn't get the limelight THIS TIME.

Let things cook, that's how writing WORKS.

But I'm just an Agender demi person and tbh? I would prefer if things took their time.

I love both ships a lot but I'm not gonna hold pitchforks over one ship getting a happy end and one still developing. Come next season, that happy end for Gaberiel and Beelzebub might not last. We DONT KNOW. Do we really need to sacrifice one for the other? Why can't we be happy to have both?

Just really think the vibe of the fanbase rn fuckin SUCKS and I'm not enjoying trying to go through the ineffable bureaucracy tag and seeing people complaining about how it should have been ineffable husbands or how it's their fault.

Okay? Alright.

After this imma start blocking ppl I swear. Just had to throw in my two cents.

[xmycxx]

Abby with a masc!reader

A/N: Whiel i love the trope of masc!abby x fem!reader, gotta say I'm more towards the masc side so I had to write this

sharing! CLOTHES

im sorry but can you imagine!! like you can borrow her clothes and shirts and she can borrow yours

personally i have a jacket that looks realy similar to her WLF one so most people can't tell who's clothes you're wearing at any time

depending on your style, you def end up slightly improving hers

she gives vibes that she wouldn't really care how she dressed as long as it was suitable and appropriate

if you dressed to the dark academia, prep for her stealing your sweaters, if you dress punk, yea you're never seeing that jacket again

i feel like she would be the type to go for femmes (or men if she wasn't gay yet) then you fucking showed up at this party, dressed to the nines in a black button up and trousers with chains and rings, charming as hell

and then you startt alking to her with that sweet smile, innocently putting your hand on her arm

she realized then and there that you are more charming and sweet than any man she could ever date

"Nice to meet you..." You trailed off, putting your hand forward for a handshake, lopsided smirk on your face as you waited for her to finish your sentence with her name.

"ABBY!"

"abby, my name is abby." She said in a lower tone of voice, clearing her throat. She winced immediately when she grabbed your hand with more strength than she thought, seeing your face change.

"Pleasure." You said, trying not to grin at the obvious effect you were having on her, the pain in your hand becoming dull as you watched her fumble.

HAIR

omfg

you cannot tell me a masc doesn't care about their hair

if you had shorter hair, she woudl fuckin adore running her hands through it and seeing how short it was

if you ahd longer hair, she'd teach you how to braid it like hers

peak switch energy

ik most people say she's a top but have you seen this girl

a service top if i ever saw one

the rare time she bottoms is an absolute treat for you

i think she would secretely love the idea of being your housewife

like, imagine you came home from work to see her making dinner adn you make an innocent joke

"Damn," You said, grinning, dropping your bag to the ground before coming up behind her. "If i knew my housewife was waiting for me, would've come home sooner." It was meant to be a joke. You hid your smile by hiding your face in her back, not coming upto her full height. She took it more seriously, face breaking out into a blush as she ducked out of your eyesight. The nervous hitch in her breath was something she couldn't hide from you.

"Aww did that get you all flus-" "Shut up."

BEANIES

ik it's a drastic change but like dude, im a beanie girl and she would love the idea of using your beanies because she can still smell your shampoo on them

dates would be so funny bc she would wanna pay because she knows how to treat a girl

there are full blown arguments where the waiter is concerned y'all are gonna break up before even paying

eventually you settle that you'll just alternate it

I might write more for this if there are any prompts

[skeleboiii84]

RANDOM SHENANIGANS~✨

(I'm nu ded lol UwU you know the drill people ÚwÙ including Y/N!!) let's get this party started darlings

Fresh: babbbbezzz

Y/N: yesssss?

Fresh: did you find my-

Y/N: what-

Fresh: are- are you actually studying-???

Y/N: ....yes- yes I am and I'm in severe mental depression please cuddle me TvT

Fresh: say less suga-

Y/N: Killer! Get in the goddamn bath you STINK

Killer: *UNHINGED DEMON SCREECH*

Y/N: IT'S NOT THAT BAD-

Dust: what in the name of fuck is going on in-

Y/N: hey dust- you need a bath too actually

Dust: 👁👁

(Dust fuckin runs out the door as fast as possible)

Killer: ASSSSSHOOOOOOLLLLLEEEEE!!!!!!

red: anytime one of you assholes fuckin give me attitude I'm hittin on Y/N-

Sans: so cool

Blue: so cool

Mutt: so cool

Stretch: so cool

Red: tf-

Sans: so cool

Red: shut up-

Stretch: so cool

Mutt: so cool-

Red: SHUT THE FUCK UP-

Ink: heya human!

Y/N: H-

Error: SCREW YOU INK-

Ink: I didn't even do anything-

Fresh: bros got it worse than me-

Dream: so you you two use pet names?

Nightmare: gross and cringe- wtf dream-

Y/N: nighty baby 🥺 there's a spider!!

Nightmare: I'll take care of it doll face-

Dream: .....

Nightmare: I'll kill you if you utter a word- OvO

Temmie: HOI!! HOOMAN IS VERY PRETTY TEMMIE WANTS DATE!

Y/N; -3- you know what- let's do it I ain't got nothin better to do

Stretch, Red, Sans, Blue, edge: . . .

Stretch: nah because I know Temmie ain't got more Rizz than us-

Edge: YYYYYYY/NNNNNNNN

Y/N: oop! GOTTA BOUNCE-

Butch: now I ain't gonna hurtcha doll~

Y/N: O3O

Butch: M'only gonna rip you open- and tear out your insides

Y/N: oooooooo lawd yes please ÚvÙ

Butch: tf-

Y/N: thanks cross..holding me like this..its nice

Cross: heh heh..don't worry I just knew ya needed a hug is all

Killer: gay-

Y/N: where tf did you come from-

Killer: the bushes-

Y/N: I'm not gonna ask-

Stretch: you can be anything you want

Y/N: can I be in Dem sweats you have on? (˵ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°˵)

Stretch: i- you- we- uh- but- HUH-

Y/N: .-w-.

Stretch: IT WAS A JOB STATEMENT- NOT A FUCK ME STATEMENT-

Y/N: difference beeeeeinggg?

Hey y'all, I'm partly back to posting but as it goes my requests are still for the time being CLOSED and are not open but enjoy your feeding children

[magicrainbowkitties]

Love how literally everything Gerard Way has ever done has had some level of queerness in it somewhere, be it their music or their comics. Like this guy literally said "I am going to throw gay people and gender-based fuckery at you and y'all are gonna fucking LIKE IT." Even back in the days of Bullets and Revenge (when, to give context to my fellow zoomers, homophobia and commodification of queerness was so fucking rampant that the Superman issue with Pink Kryptonite was released in 2003), this guy was out there, screaming about sucking dick and actively kissing his homies on stage as a specific political statement.

And then later on he goes off and actually does comics, one based off Danger Days, and yeah the villain from the music videos just. Has a male love interest. Whose death causes him to finally rebel against the fascistic corporation that actively works to destroy otherness. And then Doom Patrol (which btw has always had queer subtext, severely underrated superhero line imo) and Umbrella Academy. I'm not sure what else I can say on that.

They've also been loud and proud about their own queerness, even if he doesn't use labels. Like this is not an ally thing my dudes this is a queer person making queer content for queer people, and was literally doing it before it was cool. Like shit dude. That's fucking praxis.

And then. When he started performing with their buddies again. In the years of our lord 2022 and 2023. In the middle of a worldwide effort to erase trans people from existence. At a time where people could reasonably be like "yea he's campy but he's still just a cis band dude." This bitch. Gets on stage. In not just any dresses. But dresses in references to women who are both victims of great tragedy and pain but are also icons of sociopolitical power. And never ONCE letting up on ANYTHING. Sometimes it's a dress, sometimes it's a weird Party City thing, sometimes it's literally Piss and Vinegar shirts. But never once does the genderfuckery stop.

"In the face of extermination, say fuck you."

The respect I have for this guy is off the fucking charts, and the inspiration I feel in seeing this shit happen is other-fuckin-worldly.

[jazzthatonewriterchick]

Hit ‘Em Up! (18+ Fic)

Pairing: Cowboy!Gojo Satoru x Cowboy!Geto Suguru x Black!Cowgirl!Reader (Slow Burn/Enemies to Lovers)

Synopsis: You get to meet Geto & Gojo the Gunslingers, the notorious outlaws that have every town and law enforcement in a twist, when your bum-ass BF offers you as payment to avoid going to prison. Little do they know that this is only a part of your plan to get what you desire. But when you realize that the infamous gun-slinging, smooth-talking cowboys could be everything you want and more when they offer you a deal to team up with them, will you successfully be able to go through with it? 

Warnings: Smutty Smut; 18+ (MINOS GTFO); poly!SatouSugu; Reader is Black & Fem; Mention of other JJK characters; Porn with Plot; Tragic Backstories; T/W for Childhood Trauma, Parental Death, Violence, Panic Attacks & Torture; Angst/Hurt/Comfort; Hand Kink; Masturbation; Voyeurism; Gay Sex; Polyamorous; Double Deepthroat; Mutual Oral; Fingering; CMNF; Spitroast; Riding; Unprotected PiV Sex; Creampies; Outside/Public Sex; Shotgunning; Multiple Positions; Spit Kink; Facials; MDom/fsub Undertones; Aftercare

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters mentioned in this fic. However, as this is my writing, I do not give permission for my work to be reposted on any other sites that are not from my own accounts. Thank you!

Writer's Note: Once again, thank y'all so, so, so much for the continued love & support! Just an update for everybody: I'll be going back to school in about 3 weeks so updates might slow down, BUT I will continue to upload when I'm free & have some time. Thank you again! And happy 4/20!! -xoxo, Jazz

Chapters: One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eight. Nine. Ten. Eleven. Twelve. Thirteen. Fourteen. Fifteen PT I & PT II. Sixteen. Seventeen. Eighteen. Nineteen. Twenty. Epilogue. Soundtrack.

********

FIVE: NO TELL MOTEL.

“My, your such a good little cocksucker, aren’t you, sugar?” 

Gojo’s silky voice forming those dirty, nasty words only makes you suck on his thick, hard, beautiful cock a little more eagerly than before. He kneels in front of you, his hips and toned stomach in your face, letting you freely drag your hands over his six pack much to his enjoyment. 

He watches you with those alluring blue eyes as you gag all over his shaft and bounce on Geto’s dick at the same time. “And a good little cowgirl too,” the long-haired outlaw chuckles, soft moans and gasps leaving his lips as your warm, soft, velvety walls squeeze around him whenever you slam your pussy and soft, cushiony ass down onto him. “I should’ve known you’d be good at ridin’ dick too, little lady.” 

SMACK!

His hand comes down to slap your ass, emitting a muffled moan from around Gojo’s cock. The white-haired outlaw groans, gripping the back of your hair and pushing himself deeper into your mouth. “Fuck, you’re so fuckin’ sexy,” he moans. “You seem to be missin’ somethin’ though…I’ve got it!” 

He takes off his cowboy hat and puts it on your head, making Geto laugh as he begins to pump his hips up into you from below, fucking you back. “She looks so adorable,” he groans. “Just seein’ her like this makes me wanna cum.” 

Gojo hums in agreement, thrusting into your mouth in time with his partner’s dick pumping in and out, in and out, of your pussy, sinking you deeper and deeper into immense pleasure. “Me too,” he says and lifts your chin up to look at him and the way the moonlight illuminates his hair, turning it silver. “And you’ll cum with us, won’t you, cutie?” 

“Be as loud as you want, darlin,’” Geto moans, gripping your hips for dear life. “There ain’t nobody to hear you for miles. Just us and the stars.”

Hearing that and knowing the fact that it’s just you three alone among the moon, the stars, and the quiet forest makes me you want to cum. You can feel your orgasm quickly approaching the louder Geto and Gojo’s moans become and the more Geto’s dick glides against your G-spot. 

“Fuck!” Geto gasps. “I think our little cowgirl is close, Satoru. That sweet little pussy is squeezin’ around me so tight!” 

Gojo stares down at you adoringly and hungrily, slamming his hips into you​​r mouth. “Cum with us, darlin,” he demands. “Don’t let us do it alone. Give us what we want like a good little slut, hm?” 

Suddenly, the two begin to moan louder and warn you that they’re about to cum, using your holes to chase their highs. You can feel yourself being pushed closer, closer to the edge of bliss, about to fall off with them– 

With a gasp, you sit up in your bed adjacent to Shoko who has her back to you and is snoring so loud that it overshadows the buzzing of cicadas outside your window. You are coated in sweat, a normal occurrence for summers in the West, but you know that it has everything you do with your dream. 

“What the fuck?” you think, confused and flushed…and extremely bothered. Your pussy throbs annoyingly beneath your silk nightgown, even more so without your panties. It’s too hot for undies. 

You’ve never had a dream like that before about anyone, especially two outlaws that you were supposed to merk earlier!

The only dreams you have are about your childhood, your mother, and the night both were taken from you. They don’t happen every night, but they are the only dreams you have. You don’t have happy dreams and can barely have a good night’s sleep without your mind going a hundred miles an hour. 

But something about this dream, something about this duo, brings something out of you. A need to throw all caution to the wind. You don’t want to think that it’s because of your attraction to them. You tell yourself that it’s nothing; just a biological need as humans have. The dream meant nothing but to show you what you could be missing…right? 

You look at Shoko, thinking about her words of wisdom to you earlier. Could she be right? Could these men be the ones to help you reach that happy ending? ‘Only one way to find out,’ you think. 

You roll out of bed and, keeping your footfalls quiet, you begin to pack up. You pack some dried snacks, a canteen of water, and a clean pair of clothes in your bag before changing out of your sweat-soaked nightgown and into some clean, black riding gear. You then bend down in your closet to retrieve a dusty box hidden behind Shoko’s shoes and a key hidden beneath them. 

You unlock the box and smile at the contents inside of it: a silky, pink bandana and a black cowgirl hat. You take out each and put them on, already feeling more like yourself. Like the Fatale Femme. After you finally finish, you take a piece of paper with an ink pen and quickly scrawl out a note to a sleeping Shoko before leaving: 

Dear, Shoko, 

I’m so sorry I’m leaving you like this and that it took this happening to tell you the truth. I’ve been wandering the wild West for years, hunting down outlaws and running from the law as a living.

I came to Blackwater to not only kill Valentine but to find Gojo & Geto the Gunslingers and get some answers for my plan to kill Benji the Bandi. I have been hiding my true identity from you in fear of bringing trouble to your door. 

I care for you and those at the Blackwater saloon so much which is why I must leave. Please don’t try to look for me. If I’m alive, I will write and even visit (eventually).

Thank you for the friendship you’ve given me. Take care of yourself and don’t stay in Blackwater forever. The ain’t nothing here for you either. 

Sincerely, Y/N aka the Fatale Femme.

You leave the note by her beside. Then, in a flash, you take your bag and head out the door. The complex is dark and quiet when you leave, making it easy o slip ou ino he nigh. Behind the complex, tied up to one of the lamp posts, is your precious black horse who has been loyally and patiently waiting here at her post for five months since you came to Blackwater on her back. 

You’ve been leaving her here, only releasing her o ake he on lae nigh walks and feeding her apples and oas. Bu now, you’re ready to leave and so is she. Her ears twitch at the sound of you boots thudding in the dit and he tail begins to wag excitedly, knowing it’s you. You press a hand to her side and stroke her soft fur. 

“Hey, Reneigh,” you coo to her. “You ready to go, darlin’?” You take her reigns out of your bag and clip them on her before getting her saddle from behind a tree. As you place it on her back, she huffs, steam coming out of her nostrils. “You’re right,” you giggle. “I should’ve left this dumbass town a long time ago.” 

You kiss her snout, thanking her for waiting, before hopping ono her back after lacing one leg over her side. Once you’re on, you cluck your tongue against the roof of your mouh and snap the reigns once. Reneigh understands immediately and takes off down the road, he hooves clicking against the road. You guide her in the direction of the Maplewood Motel, knowing where it is due to the brothel you used to occupy at being two blocks up from it. 

‘1211 at the Corner of Maplewood, Rm 201,’ you think, keeping the numbers in you head even when you finally make it to the small, quiet motel. Not a peson no animal stis when you leave Reneigh outside in an empty cubby where other horses have their own. “I’ll be back,” you tell her, earning a headbutt from her in response. 

“You’d better,” she wordlessly says. 

You keep your gun a your hip as you walk ino he moel, past the sleeping desk clerk, and then up the steps to the second floor. You ignore your pounding heart as you walk to room 201 and give three knocks. “Comin’!” a silky voice calls out. Gojo Satoru. 

When he opens the door, he is only in his trousers and riding gloves, exposing his toned body and abs to you. That damn dream comes back to haunt you and you attempt give him a poker face despite your mind’s eye being filled with images of his naked body and cock. 

You’re so entranced by his body that you almost miss his eyes. You’ve never seen them before since he’s always wearing that blindfold. They are a gorgeous, hypnotizing blue, as blue as the crystal waters in the Bahamian islands. They widen an inch at sigh of you at his door. “Well,” he begins, “this is definitely a pleasant surprise.” 

“Who’s at the door, Satoru?” Geto calls from inside, sounding suspicious. He comes to the door too, luckily not shirtless but still looking hot in his cotton shirt and riding gloves, his long hair pulled back into a silky, glossy ponytail. “Oh, hey,” he greets, sounding shocked to see you. “So you kept the note.” 

“I did,” you reply rather sharply, you pulse jumping anxiously. “‘Cause I need some answers. Before I agree to this, I’ll need some information first.” The duo looks at each other as if asking one another if they should agree. 

“Anybody follow you?” Gojo asks, looking up and down the hallway. You shake you head and he opens the door ajar for you. “Come on in, then.” 

You do so, not thanking him, but he doesn’t mind. When the door shuts, you take a look around the motel: it is rather spacious and clean with a small kitchen, a wooden table sitting near the window overlooking the horses outside, brown, shaggy floors, and a big king-sized bed matching the beige walls. The duo has made their home in this room, two backpacks, clean clothes, and shoes lying about the bed and floor. 

Gojo follows you into the motel, clapping his hands together once. “First thing’s first: ya want some dinner?”

You blink at him, wondering if he’s serious. Wordlessly, you shake your head and he rolls his eyes at you. “What, you don’t want some good food before you start interrogatin’ us?” he chuckles. “We’ve got somethin’ cookin’ up over here.” 

He nods at Geto in the kitchen, cooking something savory-smelling on the small stove. His hulking frame blocks it from view, but it makes your stomach growl. Gojo nods at the wooden table and the chairs there. “Go on, take a seat and get comfy. I’ll take your bag and get you some water.” 

He goes to take your bag from you, but you grip it to your chest. “My bag is good here,” you argue. “And I don’t need anything, thanks.” Your stomach exposes you by gurgling loudly, making you flush. 

“Uh-uh,” he sniggers before he walks off to get you that water and a plate. The duo leaves you to sit alone to sit as they fix you something to eat and drink, much to your surprise. You didn’t think outlaws could be such gentlemen…unless something’s up. 

Minutes later, after listening to Geto hum a tune and Gojo crack jokes while he tosses on a shirt, your dinner is finally presented to you: a plate of Salisbury steak oozing with gravy, roasted potatoes, and green beans. “Here ya are, little miss. Made by yours truly.” Gojo gives a charming smile as he places a glass of water in font of you. 

“He’s lying!” Geto calls from the kitchen. Gojo puts a finger to his lips, winking.

You stare suspiciously down at the delicious-smelling food and gingerly take your fork to stab into the smallest tater. Gojo watches you weirdly as you sniff the potato and then place it in your mouth, slowly chewing it. “Had to check if it was poisonous,” you explain with a shrug. 

The white-haired outlaw looks hilariously offended by that. “Why would we do somethin’ so fucked?” he scoffs. “Jesus, girl, you are so paranoid!” You glare up at him, swallowing the potato. “With the work I do, you have to be.” 

Geto walks over with two more plates and glasses of water, placing them on the table. “I agree, especially in the state this world is in.” He sits down across from you along with Gojo, folding his hands under his chin. “Hope you don’t mind, but I’d like the say grace first.” 

Gojo dramatically groans, but bows his head anyway. Geto does the same while you keep your eyes open, watching them. “Dear Lord, thank you for allowing us another day to consume such a delicious meal with good company,” Geto prays. “Please give us more of these fine days with your blessing. Amen.” He lifts his head with a content, satisfied smile. It makes your stomach flip for some odd reason. 

“Ugh, finally,” Gojo sighs. “I’m fuckin’ starved!” He goes to finally dig into his food, but then stops and instead raises his glass of water. “Cheers to new friends,” he chirps and then frowns when he sees your face. “Acquaintances then. C’mon, you’ve gotta toast to that one!” 

Though you’d rather not, you did agree to be here. So begrudgingly, you raise your glass and so does Geto. “Cheers,” he chuckles and you clink glasses. “Enjoy, little miss.”

And you do though you don't tell him and your poker face is A1. However, the steak is savory and juicy, the potatoes are crispy on the outside and tender on the inside, and the beans are salted to perfection. If Geto wasn’t an outlaw, he’d be a great cook. 

Though the food is good, your impatience gets the best of you the longer dinner goes on and you can’t enjoy it without your stomach roiling for answers. “Sooo do y’all wanna start talkin’ or should I?” you ask, rather impatient. The men look up at you, still eating. Insead of looking shocked, they look amused. “Well, if you insist on givin’ us the floor,” Gojo chuckles. “Whatcha wanna know?” 

You swallow some wae to give you some courage, wishing it was liquor. “Just out of curiosity, as well-known as y’all are, why’d you decide to work with Benji and Valentine?” you ask, getting straight to the point. 

Geto is happy to enlighten you as he sips on his water while Gojo finishes chomping on his steak like a wild pig. “When we met Benji, we were young and dirt poor, robbin’ anybody just to eat. One day, we robbed a banquet of rich folks not knowin’ that they were Benji’s people. He beat us to a pulp and had his crew tie us to railroad racks.” 

You nearly choke on your piece of steak. Geto shrugs like it’s nothing. “However, he gave us a proposition: he could either kill us or we work for him and pay off our ‘debt’ to him. As two teens with nothin’ to lose, how could we say no?” 

“We worked for him for two years, helpin’ him rob banks, beat people up who owed him money, etc, etc,” Gojo adds, “but we never killed no one. That was somethin’ we fused to do…until we had to.” His ocean-blue eyes look down at his water, fiaxating on it. You have a feeling that this is a hurt piece for them, especially when Geto gets up to clean his and Gojo’s empty plates. 

You watch him walk to the kitchen in silence, his big boots thudding across the floor. He turns on the sink and begins to soak the dishes in hot water.

“We were in Bull’s Creek chasin’ down a guy that owed Benji money for savin’ his farm,” he explains as the water runs. “He had moved himself and his family into hidin’, but we found ‘em and dragged them all outside, hogtied…includin’ the kids.” 

You bite back a gasp, a vision of your small town popping into your head the night your life changed: burning homes and businesses; kids crying for their parents in the street; families beaten in front of their children; your mother’s arms stretched out to you as her neck bursts with blood. 

You swallow hard, not sure if you want him to continue, but you listen anyway. “We thought Benji just wanted the husband, but imagine our shock to find out he wanted everyone,” Geto continues as he scrubs one of the plates with a sponge. “Told Gojo and me to put a bullet in all of ‘em, make sure that thee we no survivors that could place his face. In reality, I think he just wanted to test us.” 

“And ‘cause he’s a sick motherfucker that gets off on the death of innocents,” Gojo adds. He sounds nonchalant, but you can tell he’s angered by how hard he grips his glass. “We didn’t do it, so he forced us to watch his minions do it. They left their bodies to bake in the sun, not even givin’ the kids a grave.” 

You’re silent, processing the awful yet confusing information. Could they really be different from the outlaws like Benji, Valentine, and the ones that destroyed your home? Could these two really have morals? 

Geto finally stops cleaning and comes back over to the table. “After we realized how crazy Benji was, we left and haven’t seen him since,” he explains as he sits. “That’s when we made our business targetin’ the baddies across the West and made a name for ourselves. People started comin’ to us for help.”

That explains why so many corrupt people were showing up in the papers, dead. Maybe…just maybe…they could be different. 

“So what about Valentine?” you ask, pushing your plate aside. “How’d you meet him?” 

Geto leans back in his chair, crossing his leg over the other. “A year ago, he came to us askin’ us for help to get some trafficked money off of a Cherrywood train that was stolen from his land.” 

“Such a big, fat fuckin’ lie,” Gojo sighs disappointedly, shaking his head. “But because we were stupid, we said yeah and he agreed to cut us half of the money if we helped him. We teamed up with his crew with no problem, not realizin’ that we had been set up from the jump.” 

He then pulls a cigarette and a matchbox out of his pocket. Before he lights it, his blue eyes tick to yours expectantly. "You don't mind?" he asks and you shake your head, so he strikes a match, lights his cig up, and takes a puff. Geto walks over and Gojo passes him the cigarette which he gladly takes a drag of.

When Geto speaks again, you see the entire scene flash in your head down to the last gruesome detail: “As soon as we got on that train, he took everyone hostage, includin’ the conductor. We tried to stop him, but he and his guys massacred every person on that train and then escaped before the train went off the rails. It crashed, but we survived and woke up in a cell.” 

He pauses, taking a sip of his water. With Valentine MIA, we were forced to do some time before the sheriff cut us a deal: if we help bag Valentine and keep up good behavior aka no killing, we stay out of prison.”

He shrugs passively. “Seemed easy enough, so we took it and now, here we are with you.” He gives you a smile as does Gojo, warm and friendly despite the horrible, complicated story they told you about Benji’s sadistic ways and being framed by Valentine. 

You look between the two of them, even more confused than before. Their smiles fade as they read your expression, probably thinking the worst. You put your hands on the table and interlace them as you lean in toward them. “You barely know me and you’re tellin’ me this,” you point out. “Why?” 

The two share a glance, probably not expecting this question. But Geto answers you regardless: “Because we want you to make this decision. We want your help, Y/N, but we won’t force you. If you want to walk out that door, you can.” He juts his chin at the motel door, your exit from this conversation AND possible agreement. 

But something, whether it be their honesty or the way they look at you with such genuine warmth, keeps you there. You look down at your hands. They are shaking. 

“You wanna know why I want Benji?” you ask, not waiting for a yes. “While it may be a stretch, I believe takin’ him out would let every other fucker on this God-forsaken planet know that their sins and crimes will not go unpunished. It would scare them to know that such a powerful man like Benji the Bandit was taken out by someone, let alone a woman.” 

You raise your head to look at Geto and Gojo again, still seeing those genuine, soft gazes. 

“I’ll help y’all,” you firmly say, “but on one condition: y’all help me get out of the county and to Willow Springs.” 

Gojo raises an eyebrow, confused and curious. “What’s in Willow Springs exactly?” he asks. 

You nearly smile at his question, picturing the beautiful town located in the North already. “Freedom,” you answer. “A life without constant runnin’ and dodgin’ the law. A quiet life out of the West…but the only way there is through the Devil’s Trail.”

Aka the hardest, roughest trail in the West. It is known for its treacherous heat, barren, dry lands, and predators lurking around every rock and cactus. There is no way you could ever survive on your own. 

You look at Geto, crossing your arms over your bosom. “I thought about what you said: if Valentine does talk, I’ll need the protection, especially on Devil’s Trail. When we catch Benji, you’ll take me to Willow Springs. Then we’ll part ways, forget this ever happened, and live happily ever after.” 

You stick your hand out to them, wordlessly asking for a deal. The two share a glance before they each smile. “You’ve got a deal then, little lady,” Geto says before he shakes your hand.

Gojo does the same and you ignore the tiny spark of electricity you feel zip up your arm when you hold each of their leather-covered palms. 

“Now let’s get some sleep,” Gojo announces, looking pleased. We’ll need all the rest we can get ‘cause tomorrow will be a long day.” He nods at you, smiling. “But first, you need a room.”

[slasheru]

Slasher U 1-Year State of the Union / Unholy Census!

Holy fucking shit we're coming along towards the 1-year anniversary of the release of the Slasher U Act 1 alpha!! We've come SO FUCKING FAR. Sawyer wasn't even a romanceable option back in the day! As of April 27th, it'll be Slasher U's first ever anniversary!

Mostly, I am SO FUCKING GRATEFUL that you all came along on the adventure to make my weird horny dating RPG a smash fucking hit!! Taking narrative seriously in dating/adult games was kind of my entire M.O (is?? mods??) and I am SO GRATEFUL Y'ALL UNDERSTAND WHAT I'M TRYING TO DO HERE lmao

THE BIG NUMBERS

As of 11:21 AM EST on 3/23/24, Slasher U: Act 1 has sold 6,100 copies across Steam & itch.io (Not including the copies sold as part of Games for Gaza that weren't redeemed/downloaded, so this only counts people who actually downloaded or bought the game!). This is obviously BEYOND MY WILDEST FUCKING DREAMS AND I CANNOT THANK YOU ENOUGH HOLY SHIT. I didn't even realize it until I added it all together. (On top of this, we sold several fucking tens of thousands of games for Games for Gaza!! Hell yeah!)

For my fellow solo devs out there, this comes to Slasher U making a total of about $6,000 + $2,000 net USD through sales (the former) and crowdfunding (the latter, for Slasher U: Act 2) over the last 11ish months!! The game started off being free for the first 6ish months, then went to $6.69 for the Beta (with dong! whoa!!), and now at its full size, stands at a good ol' $14.99 for 15 hours of primo datin' sim!

This is objectively the most money I've ever made off of anything I've developed in my entire life, and paid my whole ass rent for the entire year, so THANK YOU HOLY SHIT. According to Steam, most indie games barely break $1k in total, so I am AGOG. FUCKING AGOG. THANK YOU FOR LIKING MY GAME AND LETTING ME MAKE MORE VIA NOT DYING FROM CAPITALISM

The average review score, across 89 reviews on itch.io, remains 4.9 out of 5 stars, and we're rocking a 93% Positive on Steam!!

THE UNHOLY CENSUS

The best part of Slasher U is, as I always say, THE STUDENT DISEMBODY!! Slasher U will always be a place where everything is gay and trans as fuck (although I'm also proud of writing my cishet storylines too :V /lh)! I knew y'all were gay (hello fellow gays) but I did not realize the QUEER FUCKING FORCE THE STUDENT DISEMBODY IS

Here's the demographics of Slasher U players as taken from Tumblr polls (that's a skewed sample size of about 280, so grain of salt here for the homo website for queers):

92.6% of you ID as queer (see below for the breakdown!) | 7.4% of you ID as straight

This fictional horror movie campus is: 48.5% bi/pan, 16.2% gay/mlm, 10.3% lesbian/wlw, 10.3% ace (oo tie!), 7.4% queer but not defined as above, and 7.4% straight!

61.9% of you ID as trans/not cis | 23.8% of you ID as cis | 14.3% of you ID as neither trans nor cis

46.8% of you are between 22-26 | 32.3% of you are between 18-21 | 16.1% of you are between 27-32 | 4.8% of you are between 32-45 | 0% of you are older than 45 (sample size I am guessing lol)

For 14.6% of you, Slasher U was the very first dating sim you've ever played (!). For 3.8% of you, Slasher U was the first indie game you've ever played (holy fucking shit!!! this is an actual absolute honor)

76.7% of you instinctively Road Runner away from Melyssa at the fountain in Act 1 | 23.3% let the Melyssa tsunami arrive at you

--

A FINAL WORD (FOR NOW) ON MAKIN' VIDJEE GAEMS

You should totally do it.

No, okay, but for real, I started working in games professionally in 2009 (yeah yeah i'm old. i am 32 and i am dying and they're coming for me in the corpse wagon etc) and I burned out in 2016 and came back two years ago with THIS THING and I can tell you RIGHT FUCKIN' NOW that, if you have ever wanted to make a game and the big guys aren't gonna do it, grab yourself and/or some friends and fuckin' make a video game. I have worked for a bunch of AA and mobile companies and I can tell you right the fuck now that this is the most fulfilling experience I have ever had writing a video game. I taught myself programming logic to make this thing! And sound design! I fucking learned to animate sprite sheets!! YOU CAN ALSO DO IT given the time and energy (pace yourself don't die)! And there won't be any execs around to tell you your weird niche game won't sell!! BECAUSE IT FUCKING WILL

Anyway, my entire career as a game designer, nobody let me write shit for them. You don't need permission to make stuff or write stuff. If you write it, they will fuckin' come, Field of Dreams style (also don't forget to tell everyone you made stuff and share it around. super key here. lmao). Turns out writing is all about sharing yourself with people, and who knows, you might just find that a fuckton of people ACTUALLY relate to you. (And that you're a pretty good writer. Which you knew. Yes, you. I am mixing metaphors and pointing to myself AND you now.)

xoxoxoxooxoxox,

Professor Plutonium

[ghostsbimbo]

the boys & hearing a song from your phone on shuffle a/n: nsfw songs ahead <3 ur welcome. tw: some songs contain heavy subjects such as rape.

simon "ghost" riley - good lookin' by dixon dallas

He's bouncing off my booty cheeks, I love the way he rides I can hardly breathe when he's pumping deep inside I kiss him on his neck and then he kisses on my bussy Call him "Daddy" while I holler Man, that boy so damn good looking (looking, looking)

He has a thousand yard stare as you try to contain your laughter at the song. you love this song, and the artist in general. You originally found him when he was just doing rap, his name being iamjakehill. you completely embraced both the pop punk (ur pretty) project & the country project of his. and now, you're showing your lieutenant one of his very gay masterpieces, despite the artist being a very straight man.

könig - dana dan by bloodywood

Not all men, yes, all men Need all men for what we're solvin' Can't be what it's been but we're evolvin' You see for yourself now get involved in Talking all in, do more, boy, it's a war Chainsaw to the dead weight, leave it raw Bloody galore as we clean out the core Yeah, we do it for her, so we kick in the door

he definitely looked up the lyrics, meaning behind the song, and translation as soon as it was over, and with that he found a new band to listen to. listen, the dude may basically be a war criminal [ they all fuckin are, lets admit it ] but he sure as hell would fucking destroy a rapist as soon as he had the opportunity. all of them would.

john price - i threw glass at my friend's eyes and now I'm on probation by destroy boys

But fuck you! You're so old, dude! Like seriously, what do you think you're doing? Your hands are so big and you're so tall, wow! You know, I kinda wish I had let you do that one thing that one time But in retrospect, it would've been a bad idea 'cause You don't care about me like I care about you so I feel bad

man, this dude felt this song was a personal attack on him. yes, y'all had an age gap, but you needed to assure him he was perfectly fine, and you just liked the song because of trauma prior to meeting him. being a kid/teenager with unmonitered internet access really fucked you up, buddy.

keegan p. russ - chokehold by sleep token [ cover by will ramos ]

So show me that which I cannot see Even if it hurts me Even if I can't sleep Oh, and though we act out of our holy duty to be constantly awake

to say he loved the dudes voice would be an understatement, and then to figure out it was a cover of a song and he heard the original? the man was offended you kept will ramos, his band lorna shore, and the band sleep token from him. his phone would end up being filled with both bands discography.

kyle "gaz" garrick - to the hellfire by lorna shore

Accept this descent into the night Releasing your grasp to induce separation Plunged into the shadows Lost in sensation, we're free falling down into the everblack Can you feel it? These pins and needles

He got scared. He also wondered how you could understand what the guy was saying the whole time. He got VERY confused when the pig squeals started - confused enough to ask if they had a pig in studio. You laughed and explained that no, the vocalist that was screaming - Will - did it all himself. It then lead to you info dumping on the genre of music as a whole.

johnny "soap" mactavish - pisces by JINJER

No promises I ever give Don't rely on me and I won't deceive The beginning or the end you can't tell When I wave my fin and shake my tail I grew in different normality With unblamable morality Hooks and nets are there for me But I'm skittish

The soft voice is what got to him, his eyes going wide when he heard the screaming. He didn't believe you at first when you told him the woman singing was also the one screaming, too. - "No fuckin' way is that a bonnie doin' that." - so you pulled up the song on youtube, and then also pulled up a few live videos of the band, too. He believed you after a few videos, and may have gotten a little jealous when you said she causes you to have a MAJOR gay panic. You also state you wish you had the same amount of talent as her, especially with the screaming.